#I wrote this fic when I had the ‘vid and I really found it comforting

[dreamyichigo]

I wrote a Takemi x Iwai fic for @ficwip ‘s Hey Sweetheart Event! (Challenge: create a fic/art that incorporates the word sweetheart !)

Happy belated Valentine’s Day ~ 💗💗💗

link to ao3 fic

“Sweetheart… You aren’t looking so hot.”

“Tch.” Iwai paused and winced. In truth, how matter of fact she delivered her observation dealt him about 5 psychic damage. “Well, you’re usually saying otherwise,” he huffed. His vocal tone fried, he sounded more gruff and gravelly than usual.

“No, no. Baby, I’m being serious. Here, let me see.”

He put his untouched soup down to defend himself from her prodding. Before he could bat her hands away, she rested a cold open palm at his forehead. He relented, letting his hands drop to his sides and let out a deep hoarse exhale.

“Okay, I'll take it back,” she said, followed by her amused warm laughter. She smiled at his handsome flushed face, her eyes met the steel stare just below her hand at his forehead. “You are quite hot. Wait a second please.”

[oumaheroes]

End of the year review

Tagged by the lovely @needcake <3

What fandoms did you create for?

These days almost exclusively Hetalia, although I was originally a One Piece writer and added one new work this year.

How many works did you make this year? Fics (posted on ao3 or tumblr or wherever), edits, gifsets, moodboards, playlists, fanart, vids, meta?

Jesus fucking Christ, I really don’t know what happened to me this year, but I somehow have written 23 stories. I have also written 25 separate headcanons and many snippets of WIPS that are still unpublished

What are you most proud of?

Like Cake, I’m going to do my top 5:

Reset: My giant murder mystery son that I finally finished this year. It’s been a 7 year battle but I’m so very proud that I finished it and is packed with everything I have ever thought about how nations work and especially focussing on England and France.

Earthbound: My Sci-fi dystopian daydream. The last time I was kept up in the middle of the night, scribbling onto paper because the words wouldn’t stop coming. It’s about the nations, now humans many years into the future, remembering who they had been in an older life.

Character Study: I wrote this for a friend with the intention of writing something really short and quick but ended up squashing all of my FrUK love and feelings into it and causing myself sappy emotional damage.

It’s All About the Delivery: My comfort exploration into my vast headcanons for Nationverse, how humans fit into it, and the adorable man known as Matthew Williams.

The Grace of Forgetting: The first fic that I wrote, sat back and thought, maybe I could become a writer some day. I’m not sure how to describe it exactly, but this was the first fic I wrote where I truly felt as though I’d written something with any sort of skill.

Any stats you wanna tell us about?

From 2010- 2020 I had written 6 stories for Hetalia, 4 of those being written in 2017. Somehow, I have managed to write 23 stories this year alone and I still have so many ideas left in me. I don’t know what happened but boy do I wish it had happened sooner haha

I’d love to give a full word count but so many fics are on Tumblr only and I can’t be arsed to add them all up. AO3 tells me that I have got 241864 there though so it’s many! ;u;

What inspired you this year? Any specific works or creators?

So many wonderful people. I’m not kidding, I said this in answer to an ask not long ago but BOY am I honoured and blessed to speak to so many wonderful artists and writers in this fandom. I’m so so lucky even more so to be able to call some of these my friends.

This fandom is so talented and filled with so much creativity that it’s a joy to be a part of. I’m having so much fun and am constantly inspired by too many people to list.

What’s a piece you didn’t expect to make? Why?

Honestly? Any of the things I have written this year. I truly never expected to write again when I stopped in 2018 and I am baffled by everything that’s happened. In particular though, I really didn’t expect to finish Reset. I always said that I would finish it and always believed that I would, but I certainly didn’t expect to finish it all in a year.

What are you excited to work on next year?

HmmMMMMMMMm

My aim is to finish all of my WIPs, which are many (a mostly list can be found here). I’d love to write more British Isles bros and, as always, more FrUK.

On a non-Hetalian note, I’d love to do a glow up rewrite of some old One Piece stuff.

Tag some people!

If they want to take part, I’m going to tag @bougietalia, @draw-a-circle-thats-the-foxhole, @rebelsandtherest, @fizzycherrycola @maelerie, @a-luran, @ego-meliorem-esse, @mandelene, and @goodybagblog

[spideyjimin]

💌 Fic Writers: I Have a Question For You

tagged by the absolutely adorable @playmetheclassics 💗 thanks a lot for creating this new little game! i find it absolutely interesting!! 

easiest member(s) to write & why:

without any surprise, jungkook & taehyung 

jungkook

as shocking as it might sound, when i joined the fanbase, i had a very hard time to simply connect with jungkook. he was reminding me a lot a person that once was a big part of my life but that ended up breaking my heart. but eventually, i decided to get over that because i loved the boys songs & who they were in general. i ended up loving that little ball of sunshine so much. jungkook is very inspiring for me, i can honestly just look at a random picture or vid of him and imagine a full fic in 2 minutes. that’s how i wrote most of my fics with him. i strongly believe that it comes so naturally with him because he has that very strong artistic vibe. 

taehyung 

tae has that very very comforting aura around him, and i simply love to write fluffy things so tae makes it easy for me to put him into my little world. he also has a very powerful presence that can be easily put into smut so honestly i can imagine and picture him in every fic i write. most of the time, i can struggle to chose between him and jk because with both of them, things just come very naturally for me. however, it’s easier for me to write jungkook’s fics. 

hardest member(s) to write & why: 

jimin & hoseok 

jimin 

for a lot of people, it’s easier for them to write about their biases while for me, it’s the exact opposite. i’m literally unable to write something if i have a preference for that person. i just adore him with all my soul. i feel like it’s the only member that i can’t touch when it comes to fanfiction because i feel like i’d see him completely differently than he is really. i’m just scared to love a version of jimin that i created instead of the real him so i just tend to have a very hard time writing for him. however, i have my little technics when i really want to write a fic with him. i write the full thing with jungkook or taehyung & then change to jimin. it makes me waste a lot of time, i know but it’s the only way i found 😅 

hoseok

i don’t exactly why it is so hard for me to write something with our sunshine in it but i simply know that i struggle more with him than the other members. maybe the fact that he literally is a sunshine, always so happy makes it harder for me to write about him. i just can’t really explain, i just know it but i can read fics with him without any problem! it’s just the writing side that is harder for me... 

tagging : @tennisv @amourtae @taegularities @mintkims @jimilter @ressjeon @jimilter @taegularities @kookthief @opaljm @xpeachesncream & anyone else who wants to do so !! 💞

[allthevmff]

Find Afrocurl’s work // AO3 // LJ  interview from vmfictitious // originally posted Mar. 20th, 2011

How did you get into Veronica Mars fandom?

Somewhere in the middle of S2, a friend of mine from high school started to talk about this show and how much I’d like it. At the general description of a high school detective, I borrowed her S1 DVDs and devoured the show in three days.  After that I started to discover fandom, mostly because I used Inigo’s transcripts to keep myself up with what the show was doing before I could watch live.

Shortly after starting the show, I had this job where I spent too much time in an office and was easily bored. I used a bunch of downtime to read fic and post in a message board (FanForum for anyone curious.)  When that job ended (thankfully) I had all of this spare time and just sort of fell into writing.

Were you an experienced writer when you started writing for VM?  If so, what kind of writing had you done, and/or what fandoms had you written for?   If not, was it really intimidating to post your first story?

I’m a little fuzzy on these details right now, but I wasn’t that experienced when I started writing in VM. I think I had a story or two written in The OC before I posted here, but I had some great support from a few friends (sarah_p //  Sarah's Crack ) for one was a big support) when I did post my first story.

What was it about Veronica Mars that interested you?  Why did you feel compelled to write for this particular show?

I really fell for the characters when I started to watch. Veronica was such a compelling character, and as I kept watching I fell more in love with Logan, too. I felt compelled in that post-S2 summer to see the relationship between Logan and Veronica explored (as so many other people did.)

Are you creative in other media for fandom (vidding, icons, etc.)?

I pick up making icons here and there, but I don’t think I have the same skill as many other people do. It’s a different creative medium, and one that I think stretches a different part of my brain.

What was the best moment for you, in fandom?  (Not necessarily a moment in the show, but fandom itself.)

I think it was the moment when I found myself in a position to go to all of these events around LA and San Diego. I found that people around LJ were interested as a result because there was something for people to enjoy that I had been able to capture.

If you had a magic wand, and could change VM fandom in any way, past or present, what would you do?

I wish S3 hadn’t been so divisive—it’s spoiled so many people on the show, and when you still love parts of it, but not all of it, it’s hard to stay positive around other people.

Of your accomplishments in fandom/cyberspace, which are you most proud of?

Weirdly, I think it’s little things I’ve done that bring a smile to my face. Sharing my time with the cast with others in any way. That’s not just the picspams when I went to an event, but these moments where I could get autographs or phone calls to other people. At different times, I’ve been able to make a friend’s birthday just a little brighter with a message from the cast (Sarah and another friend M.)

What’s your favorite VM episode and why?

I go back and forth on this answer all of the time, but I think it’s Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough. In part because it was the first episode I remember watching live, and also because I’m a sucker for banter between Logan and Veronica. That whole episode is filled with it, even if they aren’t together as a couple.

What’s your least favorite episode and why?

Blast from the Past—I just can’t get behind the mystery of the week, or what Jackie does to Veronica as a way to keep Wallace to herself.

How do you feel about season 3?

I’m a mixed bag on the subject. I think that the first arc has promise, though it didn’t do much to satisfy my need for Logan and Veronica in a healthy relationship. I’m not a fan of how Piz was introduced, or what his purpose was in the long run.

The Dean O’Dell arc lacks heart (and the Hearst rapist does too when I look at it), and the last five are just all over the place.

In total, I haven’t brought myself to rewatch the whole season since it aired, but I made a promise to myself at some point I would (I plan to live-blog all of the episodes, but I only managed to finish the first three.)

If you met Rob Thomas, what would you say to him?  (Assume that you have taken magical drugs that enable you to not be tongue-tied and you can completely speak your mind.)

I briefly met him and talked to him during season three, but if I could have a longer conversation, I’d really want to understand what his motives were for Logan and Veronica in that season. It seemed that the show always had Logan and Veronica together off screen so that the audience had no real reason to understand those later break-ups.

If you could talk to the writing staff, what question(s) would you have for them?

I’m always interested in some of the specifics of the room—are there any writers who cater to writing for certain characters? What characters do you like to write more than others? I think I’m just interested in their process more than anything else.

Writing

Which story of yours is your favorite, and why?

I’m really a fan of “The Black Hole” because I think it was a different sort of writing exercise for me. I also think I was really into the moment when I wrote it, and it shows. I can’t remember how long it took me to write, but I think it was a pretty quick write once I had the idea solidified in my head.

Are there any stories of yours that are (to your surprise) fan favorites?

Not really a surprise, but I love the reaction I had to Rational Thought. My Piz issues just got one big escape in that piece and everyone who read it had a similar reaction.

Do you (or did you at first) feel uncomfortable posting R or NC17 rated stories?

I think I was a bit apprehensive the first time (especially since it was my first fic in the fandom), but as I’ve written more and more of those fics, I’m more comfortable with the ways of writing it. I also love all of my betas who help me through the mechanics of writing it.

If you could start over and rewrite any of your stories (assume unlimited time and you would be paid for your efforts, because this is a fantasy), which story would you choose, and what changes would you make?

I’m not proud of Compulsion as it was written in the end, so I’d work there and really craft the narrative more than it is now. It’s not that it’s not beta-ed, but that it wasn’t really planned or structured beyond what is written. I think there was promise in the beginning and it floundered.

Do you write for any other fandoms?

I write here and there in a few other fandoms, but most of my work is in VM.  Some of the other shows are harder to get a feel for, so much that I don’t know if I have the character voices down.

Do you write any original works, and if so, can we see any of them?  Have you ever taken any writing classes?  Have you ever published anything? Won any competitions?

I wrote a few pieces of original fic, which are at my writing community. I haven’t been one to take a writing course, but in high school I had an award-winning poem at the local county fair.

That piece, I wrote was in my junior year of high school, spring semester (so let’s call is March 2000.) We had to write an emulation of Langston Hughes’s “I Am”, and I went all out—confused kid to the max. My teacher ate most of it up, and had me submit it to the Fair.  It went on to win the best poem for high schoolers, the best high school piece and Best in Show for all student work. I have three lovely ribbons, a paper weight to show for it.

What other VM author influenced you the most?  Do you have a favorite VM story (by another author)?

I spent most of my time reading things from Loveathons and Fic From Mars when I was reading, so I guess any of those authors. I really love dark_roast’s ( dark_roast) style. I think mutiousmuse and truemyth (TrueMyth) each have some amazing pieces, too. What’s great about being part of fandom is learning how much else you have in common with authors you love. I’m still friends with Musey and Truemyth after I met them at Comic Con in 2006.

Overall, I think my favorite story is Finite Erasure (TW), which puts me in the camp of loving angst. I worked with Trixx (Trixx) as she wrote it and I think I fell for the story she was telling and how much it hurt along the way.

What fanfic do you wish you’d had the idea for and written yourself?

If I had a mind for her particular brand of crazy, I’d have love to have written One True Pair, because the creativity and perspective amaze me.

Who are your favorite traditional authors?  Do you have a favorite book or series?

I love Oscar Wilde’s wit; I love Fitzgerald’s use of flawed characters. When I was in college I became a huge fan of Isaac Bashevis Singer. Sadly I’m not a huge book fan, though I do love words and compelling stories. Persuasion is one of my favorite stories, along with The Alchemist. I found myself more easily distracted by television as a kid and when I do get a book, I tend to read some fluffy chick-lit.

 Getting to Know You

To which character in VM do you feel you are the most similar, or what situation in VM reminds you of your own life?

Even though I don’t write her enough, I feel like I’m a slightly less tech-savvy version of Mac. I wasn’t one to have boyfriends in high school, and I think that just influences my outlook now.

Share a fun memory with us, something related to fandom.

This moment at an event in San Diego where my friends and I spent a good five minutes trying to remember the Eleanor Roosevelt quote from Logan’s voicemail.

Or the time I had Jason write a message to my journal without him really knowing where it was going.

Dog person, cat person, neither or both?

Cat person! My cat Auric loves everyone he meets, and wants to keep me from my computer when I leave it open in his presence. He really loves to sit on my keyboard when I’m not around.

What was the happiest day in your life (that you can share with us)?

December 12, 2000—the day I got into college. I’m pretty lame most of the time.

The apocalypse is on us.  You’ve got five minutes to gather your stuff before you flee (assume that your loved ones are already safe).  What do you take?

This is going to be pretty typical, but my laptop, and external hard drives, so I’m not without my pictures. Maybe a few of my autographs and old-school photos too.

What don’t we know about you, that we should know?

I’m not nearly as interesting as I sound on the internet. ;)

 The Nuts and Bolts of Writing

Do you consider yourself a stickler for grammar, or do you prefer a more casual approach?  Specifically, serial comma: for or against?

I’m weirdly a stickler for grammar when I’m not the one writing. I’m usually for the serial comma, which I blame on years of it being grilled into my head from school.

What grammar issue do you constantly have to struggle with?

 Spelling—I’m horrible at it most of the time.

 Do you have any writing reference books you can’t live without?

 I have a few copies of writing guides tucked away in my garage, but I don’t regularly look at them when I’m writing.

Are you a plotter or a “pantser”? (Do you outline your stories or do you write “by the seat of your pants”?)

It really depends on the story. I have some basic idea of a fic when I start to write it, but there are times when I only know that general outline and other times when I have a better plan.

There’s one story that’s been buried on my computer that’s plotted more than anything else I write. There are notes on how each chapter should work, but I only did that because it was a true multi-chapter fic.

My other fics that have turned into WIPs are not as plotted as they should be.

 What’s your favorite point-of-view to write?

 I love third-person more than anything else. It gives you the flexibility to talk about more than one person in the context of the story.

What type of writing is your favorite to write (dialogue, plot, action, interior monologue, description, sex scene, etc.)?  Your least favorite?

Dialogue—no questions. I love banter as much as anyone else.

My least favorite—probably sex scenes. They’re awkward to figure out, positions, how clinical but not too clinical.

Do you listen to music while you write?  Do you listen to different music depending on what you’re writing?

I do, unless I’m watching TV. My music doesn’t change depending on what I write, though maybe it should. My poor iTunes has been known to be demonic when I read fic, though it doesn’t do that as often when I’m writing.

What inspires you to write?

 I like motivational moments that can drive a point home—so I tend to write shorter pieces that are about emotions instead of plot driven.

What blocks you from writing?

Lack of time. The inability to express what I’m looking for.

 Specifically for Afrocurl!

What surprised you the most about Jason Dohring in person (that you can share with us)?

He’s a genuinely sweet person who adores his fans and what they do for him. I’d never had too many experiences with actors before I met him and he set the stage for being kind to fans.

How is he like Logan?  How is he not like Logan?  Did he do anything that freaked you out after watching him on TV so much?

I think he has Logan’s physical ticks—hair rakes and the like.

 He’s not as precise with language as Logan. In person he’s sort of like any other California guy I’ve met.

Which story of yours would it appall you the most to find out that Jason had read?

The Weevil and Logan story. I think he’d blush and be shocked at the subject more than anything.

Which of your celebrity encounters thrilled you to death, but the rest of world could care less?

The girl who loves politics was thrilled by meeting Justice Scalia at my college. Though I’m sure I’m the only one who can appreciate it now.

We know you do a lot for charities.  Do you have anything coming up that we should know about, that you’d like us to support?

Since Sweet Charity has ended, I haven’t done much work for charity recently. I’ve been a little too busy with the rest of life to help out with the Queensland floods and the like.

What’s your dream job?

Working at a high school teaching either Government or US History, maybe AP if that’s an option.

Your life seems to be going through a lot of changes right now.  How do you see yourself ten years from now?...family, job, hobbies, etc., anything you want to share with us.

I’d love to have a stable job, with friends and family nearby for support. I can’t hope for much else than that right now.

 Find Afrocurl’s work // AO3 // LJ

Source: X

reposted from vmfictitious // originally published on Mar. 20th, 2011

[verecunda]

🐬 Sutcliff Ask Meme 🐬

Because it’s my meme, and I’ll answer it if I want to. :P Under a cut for long-windedness.

Rules: answer the questions, tag anyone who you think might want to play along, and - if you like - add a question of your own.

1. Your favourite work by Sutcliff.

This is such a tough choice, but I think in the end I have to go with The Eagle of the Ninth. It’s been a part of my life for so long, and it’s one of those books I know I can always return to and get lost in.

2. Your favourite bearer of the dolphin ring.

ALL OF THEM. It’s a tie between Marcus and Alexios. They are my Boys. <3

3. A supporting or background character you love.

Again, a tough one, but I think I’ll go with one I’ve never seen anyone else talk about: Helen, the madam turned thrall turned rebel leader at Eburacum in Sword at Sunset. She’s the one who plans with Jason the smith to keep watch for Artos and his Companions pursuing the Saxons to the city walls, so they and their fellow thralls can fall on the defenders from the rear and keep the gates open to let the Companions in. When Jason tells Artos about it, I was like goodforher.jpg. :) I’d love to know more about what happened to her!

4. Your favourite animal companion.

Cub, surely. Though I also have a great soft spot for Shan the wildcat from Mark of the Horse Lord. :D

5. Is there any setting you find especially memorable?

So many! The farm on the Downs, of course, since we follow its whole life, from the first dream of it at the end of Eot9, to the cosy, welcoming sanctuary it is in The Silver Branch, then its death in The Lantern Bearers.

But I love ruins, like the spooky chapter in Trimontium in Eagle, and I’m still captivated by the last scene of Dawn Wind, with the Wild gently taking over the abandoned city of Viroconium.

6. Wild geese flighting and striped native rugs: is there a classic Sutcliff motif that never fails to warm your heart when it appears?

The green plover calling. I don’t know why, but it’s one of the details that always makes me go, “ah yes, here we are.”

7. The natural world is a vivid presence in all her work. Is there any particular nature description that sticks in your mind?

So many! Especially sunsets. I adore the way she describes sunsets. But I’ll put this one from The Silver Branch, since to me it encapsulates the general theme of Sutcliff’s work so well:

But the night itself was very still, behind the sounds of the camp. A wonderful night, up here above the mist; the bracken of the hillside frozen into silver stillness below the dark fleece of thorn-scrub that covered the higher slopes on either side, the moon still low in a glimmering sky that seemed brushed over with a kind of moth-wing dust of gold. Somewhere far down the widening valley a vixen called to her mate, and somehow the sound left the silence empty.

Justin thought, ‘If we are killed tomorrow, the vixen will still call across the valley to her mate. Maybe she has cubs somewhere among the root-tangle of the woods. Life goes on.’ And the thought was somehow comforting.

8. Biggest tearjerker. (Happy or sad tears!)

The end of The Lantern Bearers, for sure. The perfect ending to such a long, hard journey! I read it last December, and I’m still not over it.

9. How did you first discover Sutcliff?

Through loving Roman Britain. I grew up near the line of the Antonine Wall (on the north side - beyond the frontier!), so I’ve always been pretty fascinated by the idea of Romans being just down the road omg, and I remember my dad telling me the story of the lost legion once while we were out walking. It was only a matter of time before I found out about Sutcliff, really! Though, oddly, although I was aware of the book for a long time, I only ended up reading it in my teens, after I’d rekindled my love for Roman history.

10. What is it about her work that appeals to you the most?

So much! She’s absolutely one of my favourite writers. The atmospheric flair of her prose, her endearing characters; her deft skill at incorporating mythological symbolism into her stories in a way that’s rich but not at all intrusive; her consummate ability to wrench the heartstrings, always tempered by the humour and compassion and nuances she brings to her characters and narrative... 

Ultimately, however, she’s the writer who speaks to that part of me that goes about aware (consciously or unconsciously) of that lost ancient world just on my doorstep, and brings it to life for me.

11. A book that deserves more love.

The Silver Branch. Outside fandom, it seems to get passed over as being a bit more of a straightforward “boy’s own” type of adventure, while I suspect that from a fannish POV, it doesn’t have the shippy appeal that, say, Eot9 or Frontier Wolf have. 

But while I’d agree it’s not perhaps not as rich as other entries in the series, it’s much more than a simple adventure story. The characters are wonderfully drawn - it was more than ten years between my first and second readings, but I still had very vivid memories of how lovable Justin and Flavius were, and how awesome Aunt Honoria was! Even more than that, the world of TSB is very much a forerunner to the world of The Lantern Bearers. Overgrown altars stand alone in the wild, and monuments to Rome’s past glories are broken up to shore up defences against the incoming Saxons, while Carausius looks ahead to the time that the lights go out. It’s a very melancholy book beneath the battles and skulduggery. 

12. A book you haven’t read yet, but want to.

Sun Horse, Moon Horse. It’s never been one that was high on my Gotta Read list, but after Sword at Sunset - where the White Horse is the scene for Artos’ crowning - I’d like to read it to get a fuller sense of its history and significance in the Sutcliffverse.

13. Which book(s) would you love to get a film or TV adaptation?

Frontier Wolf!!! I also think Outcast in particular would make a great CBBC serial - you know, the ones that are officially for kids but the adults sit glued to as well.

14. Is there any historical period, incident, or figure you wish she’d written about?

Too many to list! But after reading Sword Song, with its gorgeous little description of the sea around Iona, and Dawn Wind, featuring the coming of St Augustine, I’m rather sad she never wrote anything featuring St Columba. His story has lots of elements that I think would appeal to her - conflict and alliances between Dalriada and the Picts, old religions and new (and the places where they’re not very different after all), the whole idea of creating something new and great out of the ashes of exile and disgrace. And I’d love to see her take on some of the set-pieces in Adomnán, like the conflict with Broichan, the Pictish druid. I think she would have had a really interesting take on my favourite bellicose Irish saint!

15. Rec a Sutcliff-themed fanwork (fic, art, vid, etc.) to share with fellow fans.

There is so much that’s brilliant in Sutcliff fandom omg. But for the purposes of this meme, I’m going to rec one of my gifts from last year’s Yuletide, The Sun Rises, as being perfect for the time of year. FW, Alexios/Hilarion. It’s a lovely introspective piece, with a very nice sense of setting, Mithraic references and light symbolism, and the bond drawn between Alexios and Hilarion is understated and perfect. The intimacy of the moment where their wolfskins brush together makes me go !!!! every time. <3

And lastly, just out of interest… how far is it from Venta to the mountains?

All of two hundred miles, but you didn’t hear that from me......

And I’ve previously tagged some folks, but again, if you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged!

[theintentioncraft]

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.

I've been tagged by @lordbelacqua (thank you Dea! <3) to talk about Backlead aka: that one Masriel fic I wrote where I got massively carried away...

Rambling/essay under the cut - fair warning, it's a long one!

Okay so first of all just a little disclaimer that Backlead did not follow my usual writing process - the idea was 110% borne out of self-indulgence and it was also both my first foray into HDM fanfic and my return to fanfic as a whole after a long hiatus from writing, so for me this was really a chance to just get back into the swing of things. Everything from Heavenly Guard through to Swansong and all of my current WIPs follow a more structured process and I'm happy to discuss any of them in a separate post!

PLANNING: I tend to find with my fics that I either have a nice little timeline of events planned out pre-writing or I have a very specific event in my head and I just take that and see how things unravel from there and Backlead was 100% the latter.

All I had in my head initially was the ballroom dance scene and so a lot of my admittedly-minimal planning was around the technicalities of that particular section, as well as some of the more general details e.g Marisa's outfit, the setting of the ball, etc. Planning the dance was the most fun part because it was a chance for me to put a lot of my dance knowledge to good use and think up something that fits the back-and-forth way in which Marisa and Asriel frequently navigate their encounters. In a way though I'm actually very glad that a lot of this fic Just Happened instead of being planned out, sometimes it's nice to just run away with an idea!

MUSIC: This gets its own section because this is one of the most important things in my process. Every single fic I write is written to various pieces of music that just help me to put myself in the right headspace for whatever I'm writing at the time - sometimes its just a single piece of music (I wrote Swansong in one hour with just one track from the Unforgotten - a TV show in the UK for those of you not familiar with it - soundtrack on repeat) and sometimes its entire playlists. I do love geeking out about my music choices for fic writing so happy to talk more in a separate post about music for some of my other fics if anyone's curious!

For Backlead I found a couple of playlist-vids from the lovely raviolae on youtube that really worked wonders for my writing. This comes with a disclaimer that I did not necessarily attribute any of these specific songs to either dance scene and I wanted to leave that open for people's imagination - but it's still brilliant vibes for thinking about two once-lovers-now-enemies trying to one-up each other whilst ignoring how much they still find each other attractive.

The two playlist-vids in question are here: you're stuck on the dance floor with your rival and find out they're an annoyingly good dancer and you're dancing with your rival and both of you want to lead

WRITING: First step every time is to figure out who's POV I'm going to cover because that makes a major difference in the way I'm going to write. Characterisation is the big thing for me and there's nothing I love more than to really get inside a character's head and basically think like them, and figure out what makes them tick and how they'll react to the story I'm putting them in. With my initial idea for Backlead being basically about the subtle power dynamics of a ballroom dance, Marisa felt like the natural go-to for this one and I found it much easier in this instance to write in her headspace than in Asriel's.

I wrote this fic in a very out-of-order fashion. The first dance (the slower, waltz-style dance) was the first part I finished, then I did as hinted at above get very carried away and move onto the section in the hallway, then I went right to the start and covered the entire section leading up to that first dance. Then I revisited the hallway scene because I wanted to rework it (the initial version was planned to be more explicit and involved less dialogue - but I wasn't comfortable with writing out the former at that time and the latter got changed by way of me having a sudden burst of dialogue-themed inspiration). The second, more set piece style dance came last in terms of the 'major events' that I wrote purely because I spent a lot of time racking with my dance knowledge to try and make it work in a way that didn't feel forced.

My final major writing stage is to write the 'transitions' between each major part - small pieces where nothing particularly noteworthy happens but it helps the fic to flow from one conversation/event to the next and also sometimes allows me to sneak in a bit of characterisation that I couldn't fit in elsewhere.

Along the way I often leave sentences half-finished with a bracket indicator so I know to go back to it later or I make little notes if I've added something in that needs explaining earlier in the fic, and I make sure to sort those parts out before I jump to the self review/beta reader stage. A couple of examples are below:

Although sometimes this method does also annoy future me too 😂:

SELF REVIEW/BETA REVIEW: Whenever I finish a fic, it gets put away for a day or two and I stop thinking about it completely - if I'm using a beta reader (usually @thatlavanderbard but I sometimes enlist help from friends on discord), I'll send them a copy of my draft at this point so they can start going through and leaving comments for me to work on, but the idea is that when I go back to my work a few days later I'm looking at it with semi-fresh eyes and can properly sift through each sentence to make sure things make sense.

When I'm self-reviewing I generally tend to follow this order of operations: spelling/grammar check (via docs') -> flow check (making sure any deliberate time skips/POV changes/etc in my fic flow smoothly from one part to the next) -> address beta reader comments (because they almost always pick up on things I myself would've picked up on anyway) -> general detailed final read through to make sure I'm happy with every single line and it all makes sense.

Backlead didn't get a full beta read because I had hit a point with it where I just wanted it up ASAP and my impatience got the better of me, but the rest of the above self-review stages still happened and I still spent a fair few evenings going through it properly and also running the occasional sentence or two by some helpful discord friends if I didn't like the way it flowed but couldn't quite figure out how to remedy it!

POSTING: First step was to reset my AO3 password because I forgot it yet again whoops

On a more serious note this part is pretty straightforward - once I'm ready to post a new fic I generally just go on autopilot for this part of the process (other than when I get to 'additional tags' and immediately get brain freeze...). As soon as it's up on AO3 I swing by here to make a post about it, then swing by discord to drop the link to friends who may be interested in reading it and then I normally nervously scuttle away from my notifications for a while out of fear that people hate it lmao.

That last part was especially true for Backlead because of it being my first trip into HDM fanfic and I always get extra nervous when posting my first fanfic for a new show/game/etc. Thankfully I got quite a few nice comments both on here and on discord that provided good motivation to stick around and post a few more things!

I always panic when asked to tag people lmao but I'll tag @fortheloveofwii for any part of the Onward, Onward series, @lyracordelia for any chapter in Hiraeth or the fic as a whole, and @glassrunner for this absolutely gorgeous gifset of beautiful game soundtracks. Please don't feel like you have to do this if you don't want to though!

[educatedinyellow]

Fic Rec Bingo meme

1. A Fic Vid I Love Without Knowing the Source Material: This is much more common for me with vids than fics, so I can recommend several here.

Whoomp! (There It Is!) by sisabet (Stranger Things)

Shut Up and Drive by sanguinity (Sherlock Hound)

Little Maiden Fair by tartiflette (Pixar’s Brave)

Glass Coffins by seekingferret (Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?)

Problem by CherryIce (Captain Marvel)

2. A Fic With a Premise That Shouldn’t Work, But Does:

Little Birds by winterhill (Charles/Erik, X-Men First Class, rated T. It should not be possible to literally make them all birds and still write a serious love story and war story, but here we are.)

3. A Fic I’ve Reread Several Times:

Jason and Me by David Hines (Stephanie Brown & all the Robins, Batman, rated M. I have never read a Batman comic book nor seen any incarnation of Stephanie -- she was Robin #4 -- but I’ve picked up a lot of Bat-verse canon through fic and movies and TV and osmosis, and anyway this fic touches me every single time.)

4. A Fic I Still Remember Many Years Later:

Merrily We Roll Along by Vicki Loebel (Illya & Napoleon, Man From UNCLE, rated T. This fic is from 2005. Amnesiac!Illya’s narrative point of view remains such a pleasure to read.)

5. A Comfort Fic:

Fearson’s Floating Cigarette by orange_crushed (Dean/Cas, SPN, rated M. It’s so good-hearted.)

6. A Cathartic Fic:

Return to Sender by aileenrose (Dean/Cas, SPN, rated E. Warning: Sam is dead, the fic is about dealing with grief; the ending is beautiful, but oh I cried.)

7. A Fic I’d Print and Put on My Bookshelf:

Presque Vu by rageprufrock (Arthur & Mal, Arthur/Eames, Inception, rated M. I was touched and transported by this fic, and I don’t even ship Arthur/Eames. The prequel to Inception that I needed.)

8. A Fic I Associate With a Song:

Make Whole What Has Been Smashed by gigantic (Johnlock, BBC Sherlock, rated T. It’s not a song fic at all, but the fic is told from the POV of a person who is living their life backwards, from the future to the past, and I just associate it with the song “The Scientist”)

9. A Fic That Inspires Me:

Between the Dog and the Wolf by AxmxZ Boanerges (Javert/Valjean, Les Mis, rated T. A gold standard fic in my eyes for historical immersion and creative engagement with the source text).

10. A Fic That Brought Me Onboard a New Ship:

Cinderwings by bendingsignpost (Dean/Cas, SPN, rated M. This fic is the reason I started watching SPN and was my first introduction to both Dean and Castiel.)

11. A Fic I Wish Could Be a Movie:

Arcana by rosa_acicularis (genderswap, Joanna Watson/Sherlock, BBC Sherlock, rated M. The magic sequences in this story could be stunning on film if done right).

12. A Fic That Led to Me Making Friends With the Author:

Particular Debts by sanguinity (Holmes & Watson, 7 Percent Solution, rated T. I had seen her around, but I didn’t know Sang when she wrote this lovely fic for me at Holmestice. It was an excellent introduction!)

13. A Fic I’ve Gushed About IRL:

and these, from atoms by kay_cricketed (Charles/Erik, X-Men First Class, rated T, incomplete. I really love this fic. My BFF and I discovered we were reading it independently of each other and squeeeee’d!)

14. A Fic I Associate With a Place:

View of a different landscape (John Watson, BBC Sherlock, rated T. A fic about John in Pakistan during the war, written by an author who has lived in Peshawar.)

15. A Fic That Made Me Gasp Out Loud:

A Study in Midnight by M_Leigh (Holmes/Watson, A Study in Emerald, rated M. It’s an amazing fic! And aaaaaaa there’s this Thing that Happens and I was not prepared.)

16. A Fic I Found at the Right Time:

Bel Canto by bendingsignpost (Johnlock, BBC Sherlock-Phantom of the Opera fusion, rated T. This fic started posting in early March of 2013, when my son was about three weeks old. Like most new parents, I was getting very little sleep, and it felt like such a gift to have this long, intricate fic posting once a week to read, reread, and savor when I was exhausted yet awake in the middle of the night, feeding my kid. This story got me through the three months it took before our household got to start sleeping through the night again. And I believe “Angel of Music” was the first lullaby I sang him.)

17. A Fic That I Would Read Fic Of:

Learning to Speak by tinsnip (Garak/Bashir, Star Trek DS9, rated G. I want more of Julian figuring out all the things he loves, and doesn’t love, about Cardassia; more of these two figuring out how to trust and communicate within their relationship; more cross-cultural debate and learning language. This is all great stuff, rich with possibilities.)

18. A Fic That Made Me LOL:

My True Love Sent To Me by wafflestories (Johnlock, BBC Sherlock, rated G. A texting fic for the holidays. I always laugh.)

19. A Fic With a Line (or Two) I’ve Memorized by Heart:

Early Returns by rageprufrock (Arthur/Eames, Inception, rated T). “It takes him back to when he was a 17-year-old summer exchange student and the increasingly stupid game of hipster chicken he and Mal had played, where they first pretended not to like each other, and then pretended not to be virgins, and then pretended they knew how to smoke. It had been a summer fraught with poor decision-making.” (I started reading Inception fic purely because I wanted more Arthur-Mal friendship backstory; the phrase “increasingly stupid game of hipster chicken” is my headcanon for them and lives in my heart).

Also: “He’d been a journalist for his entire professional career, so of course he’d been this depressed before.” My husband quotes that one around the house occasionally, too.

20. A Fic That Gave Me Butterflies:

Private Friends by orchid314 (Holmes/Watson, ACD Holmes, rated T. The scene where Holmes throws up his hat because his joy is bubbling over. The way Watson watches Holmes’s hands on his violin.)

21. A Fic That Embodies Something I Value in Life:

Obscurity by Urbanhymnal (Johnlock, BBC Sherlock, rated T. A magical realism story about a person who communicates differently than other people, and the love that grows from mutual respect and acceptance.)

22. A Favorite AU:

Left by lifeonmars (Johnlock, BBC Sherlock, rated M. Such clever and elegant world-building that manages to feel only barely canon-divergent.)

23. A Fic I Stayed Up Too Late to Finish Reading:

I honestly could pick almost any fic here, but let’s go for gold and pick the one with the most deliciously gigantic chapters:

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (Johnlock and ensemble, BBC Sherlock, rated E. This fic feels like it has so much realness in it, such observant interest not only in the protagonists but in all the people and places around them.)

24. A Fic That Made Me Feel Seen:

To Join These Men in Holy Matrimony by A_Candle_For_Sherlock (Holmes/Watson, ACD Holmes, rated T. I was surprised and floored when one of my very favorite Holmesian authors named me as one of the people that this beautiful fic was gifted to -- I was not taking part in any exchange at the time, it was very delightfully unexpected! In her author’s note, she wrote: “This fic is for rachelindeed and daisynorbury, whose work has given me joy, and whose Holmeses have contributed good things to mine. Thank you for adding your love to this fandom.” I was so touched by that. It’s what we all do for one another in fandom, it’s one of the best things about sharing our imaginations in community; being acknowledged like that did honestly make me feel seen and special. What a gift!

25. Free Space:

Varieties of Repentance by deborah_judge (Lennier & Sheridan, Babylon 5, rated G. I was probably the only person in the world whose favorite character on Babylon 5 was Lennier. Anyway, in its penultimate episode, the series threw his character into the garbage in spectacular fashion and it killed my personal investment in the show, unfortunately. But this lovely story offers a sad, generous, and compassionate resolution to his character, and I really appreciate that.)

[foxwatchesanime]

How I stopped caring about comments: A rambly post by me

This is rambly so hold onto your seats, I apologies. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about comment/review culture in the last few months, particularly after returning to a brand new fandom as a writer and regular content creator. Maybe this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, maybe not, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the way I perceive comments, how it’s changed for me since I’ve been in fandom and I’d love to hear from other people what their opinion is and how they relate to comments on their work.

I’ve been creating content in fandom spaces for about eleven years now. I started out on YouTube when I joined my first fandom, Merlin, and I made my first fanvideos in 2009. In December of 2009, I published my first fanfiction, plus one sequel which remains unfinished as well as a few other smaller projects. In October of 2010, I published my first podfic and would go on to publish two more. My focus in fandom had always been YouTube, where I regularly created fanvideos. My schedule was never consistent, as with most vidders back in the day, but I’d be comfortable in saying I posted regularly discounting three unintentional hiatuses, one in 2013 following the Merlin finale, one in 2015 probably due to a lack of inspiration and one in 2017 after what I was sure was going to be my permanent comeback to YouTube, only for my hard drive to break and delete all my footage yeeeeeey. 

I’ve now made an actual, official return to my original platform, this time creating videos for my new passion and fandom: anime. Since February of 2020 I’ve also been regularly publishing fic and have no desire to stop doing so. I’m thoroughly invested in new fandom spaces again and am engaging with its fans and the content. 

But the one thing I have seen change drastically in my approach to things is commenting, following and general engagement. 

Let’s take a step back. 

When I first started posting content, comments were not something I even had in my consciousness. I think I knew YouTube comments existed, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I didn’t even know what subscribers were until I started hearing other people talk about them and then I suddenly felt like it’s something I should be keeping an eye on myself. 

In a centuries old vlog of mine that is now private on my channel, I noticed that when I hit 100 subscribers, I made a video thanking everyone because I was so excited that with more subscribers, I was going to “make more friends.” Oh dear xD 

But the truth is, I have been consistently and chronically bad at keeping up with or caring about the analytics of my various platforms. It wasn’t till writing this post today that I went to check my FF.net account to see how many comments my first two Merlin fics ever got. I still couldn’t tell you my exact number of YouTube or Ao3 subscribers, how many hits or kudos my fic have and I don’t think I’ve ever checked my bookmarks for notes, or whatever you’re able to leave on there. 

Commenting culture on YouTube, for all my joking earlier, was primarily about connection, at least back then. Most of the old guard have moved on and those who have remained are now vidding in other fandoms. The social aspect of YouTube in my opinion has changed dramatically since I was at my peak output on there, but I remember how interactive the comments sections used to be. They literally were, where you made friends.  

A couple of years ago, me and a friend of mine started a Merlin podcast called Merlisten. We created it for fun and without many expectations of what might come out of it. And it was this that changed my relationship with commenting for good. 

Doing Merlisten felt, for the first time in a long time, like pure creativity and passion without anyone’s permission. We always encouraged people to leave feedback as one does, but I don’t think either of us expected to get much, if any. Even considering the incredible support we’ve received with feedback coming in almost every single episode now, there is still a clear and overwhelming gap between the amount of comments given to an episode of Merlisten, to one of my old fanvids or fics. It’s even more interesting when one considers how much more effort and time went into creating Merlisten compared to say, editing or writing, at least for me personally. The amount of man hours spent on creating one 2.5 hour episode from pre-production to final posting often outweighs any other video or chapter I’ve created. Not always, but often. 

What struck me as interesting, however, was that even though comments weren’t always consistent and I always love and continue to love reading them, it’s not what was fuelling me to work hard on this project. I was doing it because I adored it and I knew it was something I was proud to put into the world. 

And that literally changed everything.

I think for a long time, I was always trying to cater my art to what might get the most attention or please the widest demographic of people. It’s how you think when you’re young and you don’t know any better. But for the first time, I was creating something on my own terms that I had no idea if anyone would even listen to and the actual creative process of making said art was ten times more rewarding than any single comment I could ever read. Which really, what I realised, is what art is supposed to be. I can safely say that if Merlisten didn’t get a single comment from here on in, I would still want to see it to its conclusion for one very simple reason: Because I had something to share. 

This brings me to my recent return to writing fic in fandom and it’s not a decision I’ve regretted for a second. More than anything, I’ve realised how personal art can really be, especially when it’s in writing. I’ve found it revealing and cathartic and fascinating in a way that I didn’t ever imagine.

But more importantly, I’ve realised that the real beauty for me in engaging in art is the ability to get an emotional response from it or to relate to it. And that goes for both other people’s work and my own. I can feel just as invested in my own work as someone else’s and that’s not because I think my work is amazing, it’s because I know it’s come from something that was living in me. When I put something out there that I made with my own two hands, that feeling now trumps any sort of feedback I could possibly get and that’s the endorphin I live off. 

Don’t mistake this for me not liking comments, that’s obviously not true. My brain gets the same dopamine hit as anyone’s when I get a notification for something or other, but I’ve realised that I have a very specific relationship with comments that I definitely didn’t have before, if my requests for review on FF.net is anything to go by.

Now, what I find exciting and thrilling is the thought that, if writing this fic got this sort of emotional response out of me, the writer, I wonder if there are other people out there who think the same way I do? Who have a similar way of experiencing joy or suffering or humour or who like the same things as me? That, is an insanely invigorating feeling. And then when someone chooses to take time out of their day to tell you that what came from your head is the same sort of way they feel about life? That’s not a comment, that’s not feedback, that’s a connection you have with another person. And that’s where I start to get excited. And it’s taken me this fucking long to realise it. 

Honestly, I was really worried upon returning to writing and vidding this year that my experience working in digital marketing, where everything is about numbers and social media is all about engagement and nothing else, that I would be overwhelmed and not be able to switch off the part of my brain that’s been trained to think like that. I’m so relieved that that’s not the case. 

As previously mentioned, I suck at giving a shit about analytics and looking at my own stats. I couldn’t give a flying fuck. But I did just go and check my YouTube videos since returning back to vidding. Not a single one of them has views over 200 at this point. Most have less than 100. My most viewed video on YouTube has 57,000 views. And the thing is, there might have been a time when I looked at that and thought, well, this means I suck. This means I can’t make art. This means there’s no point to it.

But no, that's not true.

The point is not how many people see it, how many people like it, how many people comment on it. The point is that I made it. I’m going to continue making YouTube videos despite the fact that the algorithm will destroy any chances they have at getting engagement or views. Even if not one single person comments on them. Because when I’ve finally rendered a new video, or finished proof reading a new chapter, I feel so fucking happy that everything else is just window dressing to me now. 

Because not only is online engagement and following such a stab in the dark these days anyway with algorithms changing and trends moving constantly, but this is the real truth about comments, following and feedback:

The truth is, I don’t need a stranger on the internet to praise me so that I can feel good about my art. The day that I start doing that, I’ve already lost. I used to think that way on a regular basis. Guess what, it didn’t make me produce better art. It didn’t make my life better. Because being validated by others never does. It doesn’t matter how many keysmashes I might get or how many sonnets or kind words, because If I don’t like what I create, there isn’t a single human being on the planet who will make me like it, no matter what they say or how they say it. For others, this might not be the case. But this is my reality. 

I know this, because I recently speed-wrote and published a fic for a fanweek. I wrote 13k in about 8hrs. So far, it’s received nothing but positive words. But it doesn’t matter. After I published it, I had a crisis about how it wasn’t good enough, that there should have been an extra arc, that it ended too quickly, that there wasn’t a climax. Even as the comments came in, it didn’t change my mind. Because other people’s comments will never really lead to fulfilment. 

I want you all to know that I get emotional over every single comment that is sent to me. Every personal story, ever keysmash and heartfelt thoughtful message that took the time to analyse my work. Connecting with you guys has been one of the biggest joys of entering this fandom. But it’s not going to be what fuels me to create and to carry on doing the best work I can. All I can do is treat it as the wonderful privilege that it is, and not any part of the reason I do it.  

In conclusion:

Finally, at age 27 and in the midst of enjoying fandom after a very long period of being either meh about it or lurking, I finally feel content with the fact that I want to create in order to put things out into the world that I worked hard on, that I’m passionate about and that hopefully, in whatever way it might be, it might have touched someone who feels the same things too. It makes me feel accomplished, it makes me feel like I might be contributing something small to the world and it makes me feel like maybe one other person was made happy by it. And even if they never tell me that and if no one else ever comments on what I create, or even if they comment on it in spaces that I never see; private servers, chats between friends or blogs that I don’t follow, that’s also fine. Because there’s always at least one person who is going to feel happy that she made something. And that’s me. 

The short version: I never used to care about comments, then I did, and now I no longer do. 

Sorry for the ramble, but I wanted this here for myself to look back upon in case my opinion ever changes on this or I ever start to lose my way again and feel overwhelmed. I’d love to hear your guys’ experiences with this sort of thing and whether you’ve ever felt bogged down by the need for feedback.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[meridianrose]

Day 9: Rec 3 or more fanworks you've created (many recs below) Day 10: Share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme (h/c and more) Day 11: Share something media related that changed your life Day 12: Create a fanwork (icon)

Day 9 In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator. I usually go with my longest to date work, a Da Vinci's modern au Weather Every Storm I'm really proud of it and the relationship issues I dealt with in it and the depth of detail (I tend to write more dialogue than description) I managed, really pleased with the sfbb art I received for it, really pleased by the comments I've had on it. "London, present day. Leo and Riario were in a tempestuous but passionate relationship until they recently broke up. Leo, believing they'll get back together, is stunned when he gets a call saying Riario has attempted suicide. Desperate to win back the love of his life, Leo will go to any length to bring Riario home and repair their relationship." The regency AU Revenge fic Compassion and Conjugality; it's sort of a sequel to a previous historical au but it stands alone. "Facing execution for sodomy, Nolan is saved when Emily declares him to be her fiancé. Despite her affection for Aiden, she decides to wed Nolan to further her own agenda; Nolan's only regret is that it will not be a real marriage." My fic series Everything's Better With Dragons, The Borgias fantasy au. "In a world where magic is real but witchcraft is banned, the Borgia family face the threat of the supernatural as well as more mundane enemies. A witch secretly resides within the House of Borgia, while a spell gone awry gives the family control of a dragon. " Three works so far, I had planned on more but the series finished and I had issues with the next fic, but I do hope to one day write the rest. I'm also proud of my Black Sails big bang, modern medical drama au, Bad Case of Loving You, my GoT fic au series It's Snowing Men where Jamie and Tyrion join Jon Snow at the Wall, my DvD pre-canon au Through All Hardship We Endeavour (Riario x Lucrezia), and my unconventionalcourtship Black Sails regency au Unconventional Countess which let me explore a nonsexual but deeply committed partnership between Silver and Max. Historical AUs, canon AUs, fantasy, h/c, nonsexual intimacy are probably key components of my work :) Fanfic is my go to but I do dabble in graphics and even fanvids; my youtube channel is RosettaGray and I have some Da Vinci's Demons vids there – of the four this is probably my favourite along with a crack CSI: Rome(if the Borgias were a crime show) and a Francois Arnaud/Morrocan Gigolos movie fanvid. But I am a very amateur vidder! Day 10 In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (Or a few!) Tell us what makes it work for you, and why it appeals to you so much. Talk about what you like to see in fanworks featuring that theme most. Feel free to include recs and examples! Hurt/Comfort has always been my go to for reading and writing. I could wax lyrical about why but it's my jam and always will be. On tumblr it seems to be tagged more as "whump" and I've found more gifsets and fic recs that way :) Hair kink – give me all the long haired men! Talk about hair washing and brushing, let fingers run through tousled locks! Bed sharing – I just love this idea of intimacy and it's related to… Nonsexual intimacy – I'm asexual and I adore nonsexual intimacies in fic. Hand kissing, showering, the aforementioned bed sharing and hair brushing. There's a particular kink I've tried exploring more and which I read more of but in private and I'm still not brave enough to come out and say it outright yet, though my love of h/c is always front and centre, unashamedly so. Day 11 Share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. A few key moments. I think Star Trek: The Next Generation was the first fandom I wrote in, though in a notebook and never to be shared (this was a time long ago before the internet!) Quantum Leap and Babylon 5 I participated in by reading fanzines but I never wrote fic, but that was a new experience for me in terms of fandom. Brimstone is one of the earliest oneline fandoms I wrote fic for, via yahoo groups! Legend of the Seeker; I felt very connected to fans here especially in the community dedicated to the Rahl family. I've written more fic in this fandom than any other. Discworld; I came later to the series but Pratchett's work has been a touchstone ever since. Whedon; I know there's now much (warranted) criticism of the man and his newer works, but Buffy and Firefly made lasting impressions on me. CSI: I read a lot of forensic books when watching early seasons of CSI. Fandom often leads me to gain knowledge in areas it has piqued my interest in. Day 12 In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a podfic, an icon, a sketch, a meta, or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Cross stitch. Draft an essay about a particular medium. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of book you love, a ship manifesto, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Create something. I posted fic just two days ago Men of Vision and Ambition, I've got a draft fanfic WiP, plus I have original fic I work on these days. I also reviewed 3 books (1 great, 1 good, 1 awful) on tumblr yesterday, and I've got gameofcards to make things for soon enough ;) Just in case none of that counts (and of course they count, it's Snowflake Challenge!) I made an icon for the tv series (based on the books) Strike

[culturepopper]

Rules: List 5 OTP’s from 5 fandoms and tag 10 people to pass it on to

I was tagged by sweet Birdie, @kitscaboodle!

Brace yourselves, y’all. It’s about to get REAL AF.

1. Mirandy - Yee, OTP of DWP {The Devil Wears Prada} It all started with Andy and Miranda. When I say all... I mean ALL. Picture it, 2009 or so, I was sitting in my graduate teaching assistant shared office writing my comps for my masters. In a book called “Cyberspaces of their own: Female fandoms online” by Rhiannon Bury, I read about femslash for the first time. Actually, I read about slash, Kirk and Spock fucking in stories written by women online. Then there was a line about femslash. I took to the Googles to learn more about femslash and I think I landed on Passion and Perfection. That pretty much ruined me. I saw some Law & Order: SVU fic and some other bits and pieces then my eye noticed one of my favorite movies ever, The Devil Wears Prada. Once I clicked on that link it really changed my life. I had never heard of fanfiction or femslash before that day and I had no idea what kind of effect it would have on my future. I don’t mean for this to read so dramatically, but fanfic really helped make my life what it is today. You see, that day I discovered fanfic I read some hot as fuck Mirandy and flipped the switch in my brain that I needed to take me from straight/bi to bi/lesbian. I would later realize I was never straight and social norms combined with a heavy dosage of patriarchy and homophobia scared my gay ass into straightness. I ran to my best friend at the time @subcutaneous7 and told her what I found and she started to read some too. Turns out, she grew up reading and writing Seven/Janeway and Seven/Doctor in her teens and once she started reading Mirandy it reignited her fanfic love. Also... we would read these stories next to each other, getting more and more hot and bothered, and continue to “just be friends”. Spoiler alert, I’m marrying the fuck out of her in August. So when I say Mirandy started it all. I mean my whole amazing life and future wife.

2. Supercat {Supergirl} In the beginning I was getting Mirandy feels for Cat Grant and Kara Danvers when I’d see posts on Tumblr. @subcutaneous7 and I started watching it together last year and then it took over. Now she’s a prolific writer in the fandom and we met one of our closest friend couples too! Can I also just say, not to brag, but bae writes the best fic I’ve ever read. It’s sexual. 

3. Berena {Holby City} Jesus. Where does one start? Last August/September I noticed some people posting “the kiss” between Bernie and Serena on Holby City. Two early to mid 50′s women sitting in scrubs on the floor of an operating room (which I then learned was called theatre), breath mingling, sharing a very scary moment. Then boom. Like a sack of bricks dropped from above, they kissed and shook the internet. What happened after that kiss is a literal mystery. All I know is @kitscaboodle and I became besties, there was another Berena kiss on the show, I binged seasons 14 - 19 so I could watch every scene with Serena in it, then Bernie was off the show for a desperate amount of time, then she came back and they kissed again... then they killed Serena’s daughter. Before that I wrote a bunch of shit about my feelings on the show and this pairing. Most people don’t agree, but some do. TLDR; After the shit of 2016, I don’t want to put myself through any unnecessary lesbian trauma. I’m not cut out for it. If you are, cool, do you. I’m gonna do me. I’ll still watch when I can, and of course keep up on Tumblr, and I’m still reading fic (which is damn good) and loving the artists and vid makers, but I’m watching with an arms length in front of me.  

4. Patty/Ellen {Damages} The old throwback. It was a little sadistic, it was rife with tight skirts and high heels and brown liquor. Patty Hughes and her personality issues. Sociopathic at times, but good at her job. Family issues. Dreams. Power plays. And how she looked at Ellen Parsons. Imagine laying on a soft bed with your arms and legs tied comfortably, but just so you couldn’t move. Now imagine you’re on that bed and a gorgeous woman walks up to the bed and holds a chocolate (oh, you have to like chocolate in this scenario, but if you don’t imagine your favorite food) just above your mouth. She whispers things to you. The chocolate is still just out of reach. Then everything disappears. The woman, the chocolate, the ties. You’re just alone on a bed. That’s Damages.

5. M/James Bond {James Bond} Don’t ask. I don’t know why either. They are one of two straight ships I can get behind. The other is Chelsie (Charles Carson and Elsie Hughes from Downton Abby). If you learn anything at all about me from this, it’s that there’s something about strong, powerful older women that really does it for me. Can change a zebra’s stripes, and you can’t make older women anything but attractive to me.

Honorable Mention: Seven of Nine/Captain Janeway {Star Trek Voyager} They were my second OTP. The (future) wife and I watched every episode together. We have figurines, commemorative plates, action figures, posters, and memorabilia all over our apartment. Honestly, I could have put J/7 above M/James Bond but it didn’t naturally happen that way. I didn’t remember until I scrolled through my feed. I would also like to mention Captain Janeway/Admiral Janeway here... what an amazing mind fuck of temporal mechanics. It’s interesting and titillating to me to think of a person and their future selves getting together. I’ll just leave that there.

Honorable Mention: Carol/Therese {Carol} How did I forget to mention Carol?! I’m into Carol on a spiritual level, but Therese... not so much. I liked looking through Therese’s eye at Carol. I like what she saw. I still love to watch wlw. LOVE IT.

Tag 10: @vivinicorn @subcutaneous7 @theresacullens @catgranting @superkartoffel @badassbettyrizzo @xvnot15 @missolitude @chaotik @gaycarolaird