#I’m a very detail-oriented person so everything is so refined

[bbreaddog]

NO WAY I’ve never posted these on tumblr but i guess you could say it’s NOW OR NEVER HA HA HA

[drewandareview]

My Top Ten Favorite YouTube Channels

Originally published July 23rd, 2013

Sometimes I feel inadequate because I don’t have any “underground interests".  But other times, I realize I definitely have underground interests.  I’d say my most solid proof of this is my devotion to Internet entertainment.  I don’t know of many people who take it quite as seriously as I do, and I have as much passion for watching it as I do making it.

So to shed a little bit of my “hip side" unto you, here are my top 10 favorite YouTube channels with brief descriptions of why I picked them.  (Disclaimer: I have the right to include my own channels if I want to.  But I’m not going to.)

10. nigahiga   I actually started out on YouTube before the thing was even two years old.  At the time, I viewed it as a place for amateur auteurs.  Where one person can make everything herself.  I thought that was fascinating, and that’s largely the kind of content you would find on YouTube at the time (2007).  But, as with all good ideas, YouTube expanded and grew business-oriented. I have no resentment toward this because I understand it.  I’m jumping onto that boat myself.

But I still have deep veneration for the people who truly do everything themselves, and for that, I have to include Ryan Higa on the list, the man behind nigahiga.  He’s been doing this YouTube thing for even longer than I have and while he’s seen much success and popularity, he still has that old-school “YouTube touch" where he does everything himself.  In addition to some clever yet juvenile comedy, you can watch the progression of a person refining his craft.  It’s a fun ride.

9. vlogbrothers The premise is simple: Two brothers send vlogs to each other, one vlog from each brother for a total of two vlogs a week.  And my are their brains something to be admired.  They’re very honest with who they are and what they feel and even in the face of their popularity, they’re more committed to cultivating artistic growth and promoting identity than doing things for money or fame.  It’s admirable to see two vloggers not only with compelling chemistry, but also an earnest love for who they are as people.

8. SecretAgentBob He’s more popularly known as FilmCow, and even more popularly known as “the guy that made Charlie the Unicorn".  His animation is crude and unpleasant, even more so than South Park, but the complete dive into maddening, aimless comedy is a breath of fresh air in a sea of videos with poor aim.  Jason Steele and his team of loyal friends are a truly funny bunch whose effort to making no-shits-given content is as satisfying as it is needed.

7. CGPGrey Not everything popular on YouTube is comedy.  What’s particularly refreshing is to see a surge of interest in channels revolving around education.  By far my favorite of these channels is CGPGrey.  It’s one guy making animated slideshows that illustrate a point of interest.  He seems like “just a normal guy", but the level of research and detail he exerts just to make sure he doles out the right information shows not only a propensity for knowledge, but a respect for those learning from him.  His videos are as amusing as they are beneficial and for someone you never see in person, his presence as a teacher is something remarkable.

6. sxephil Most newscasts are boring.  It’s industry standard to read the news without attachment or much personality.  Which is why Phillip DeFranco is really something unique.  He’ll tell you the news, but only the news he cares about and in the way he wants to.  This could be an annoying trip were he an annoying person, but Phillip DeFranco has an enrapturing view of the world accompanied and a blunt sense of humor that collectively, you just can’t help but dig.  Hopefully his shtick might inspire a wave of more subjective newscasters so those looking to get the scoop can have some variety as well as some personality.

5. StarKidPotter Meet Team Starkid, a contemporary theater troupe of cult status yet all the talent deserving of full-throttle stardom.  While the members of the troupe rotate, each one brings to its productions the finesse of an adult paired with the unadulterated imagination of a kid.  Their videos mainly consist of recorded footage of live shows and while low on budget, they’re written with great humor and sincerity.  The music always soars, the performances always dazzle, and the theatrics of Team Starkid always vibrate with vibrancy.

4. MW10T It’s hard to really place what Mike Peterson is all about.  A low-end member of the film business, Man With 10 Toes really shines with his overt nonsensicality that he heavily breathes into anything he creates.  His greatest attribute is his shameless disconnection from inhibition and embracement of his wholly bizarre mein.  No matter how effortless his work, it’s always labeled with the undeniably engaging mark of his strangeness.  Manwith10toes is the fucked-up fruit on the tree that tastes absolutely amazing.

3. titleofshow It’s not a very active channel anymore and certainly not something a modern YouTuber would gawk over.  It’s the home to “the [title of show] show", a documentation of the process it took to get the musical [title of show] onto Broadway.  The concept is already rich as Broadway is a place with many secrets and any look into its process is worth the time.  But these four friends are wonderful, chromatic people to take this journey with.  Each has a distinct personality, but they all emanate with an honest passion for what they do and an authentic appreciation for their audience.  It doesn’t hurt that the show they’re trying to put on is one of the greatest shows I’ve seen.  It’s a fantastic series: Informative, funny, and even a touching reminder of the great things that can happen when you follow your dreams.

2. BriTANickdotcom BriTANick is sketch comedy at its absolute finest.  Comprised of duo Brian and Nick, their videos exude everything the perfect sketch could have.  They’re inventive, well-paced, unexpectedly well-acted, and culminate into a perfect laugh batch that no fan of comedy should miss.  Their only agenda is to bring out the best in humor.  They’ve had some misses, but when they hit, they hit to sink.

1. 5secondfilms It’s a delight to see so many people (to the point where you lose count) all coming together to make something that on the surface seems pretty trivial.  5 Second Films are exactly what you think: People that make films that are five seconds.  And after nearly five years of uploading five videos a week, they haven’t missed a beat.  5 Second Films gives you the best way to waste your time while simultaneously showing just what kind of gold you can strike when you don’t waste a second.  Relentlessly bold and ostensibly gifted, 5 Second Films delivers short content with a long reach.

The Internet is only a medium.  But it’s a medium that’s brought forth enriching content that I hardly see in any other medium.  When you do things for the Internet, you’re taken much less seriously than when you do things for television or the big screen.  But the Internet, despite being largely embraced by the world, still manages to be one of the best-kept secrets when it comes to entertainment.  While I certainly hope this doesn’t last forever, I’ll embrace the hippness that comes with beaming over something so in the dark.

[astrolovecosmos]

Virgo Common Archetype: The Hustler

Nowadays a Hustler typically means someone who works hard, stays busy - grilboss, self made, or workaholic vibes. Other definitions of this word are, “an aggressively enterprising person; a go-getter.” A hustler can also be a “swindler”. And it can sometimes mean “a lady of the night”. I wouldn’t label Virgo as an aggressive opportunist or villainous but I think it is worth exploring 3 different meanings of “hustler” as it can symbolize parts of Virgo. 

Work It: Virgo is a hard worker, practical, detail oriented, and has plenty of stamina and energy. Their perfectionist nature makes them stand out among competition. The desire to work can come from their own high standards and a sense of realism but it also comes from their versatility and need to be stimulated. Virgo being an earth sign is ruled by senses but much like their planetary cousin Gemini they too have a thirst for knowledge, mental connection, and ever exciting and changing mental stimulation. Virgo can stay busy through working and hustling for intellectual gain and thrill. Virgo is also associated with refinement and improvement. They have a need to feel useful. All of these things can create someone who is very providing, studious, and diligent. Not to mention working can gain rewards that feed into their practicality and desire for physical comforts. 

Win it: Virgo is clever, cunning, investigative, observant, has a great memory, easily taps into their society’s common sense, is logical, and notices everything. If we can remove the malice or criminal nature of a “hustler” this can be another archetype Virgo fits into.... of course every sign and every person has the potential to become corrupt. If Virgo were to be a criminal, I would not be surprised if they were a conman or trickster thief. Sagittarius and Gemini are most known for the “conman” trope, but really all of the mutable signs can be smart, manipulative, tricky villains in their own right. But for “hustling” Virgo’s forte is in the stereotype of hustling a game. Virgo tends to be easily underestimated or under appreciated. This sign metaphorically can go undetected by many, quietly making their way to their goal. Sure there are frustrations with being underestimated, but when used right or when acknowledged this can be the card up their sleeve for many situations. I don’t want to paint Virgo as a dishonest sign. They are not. In fact they tend to have bluntness and honest tendencies that can rival Sagittarius or Aries. Their down-to-earth and critical side tends to force the words out with no filter. 

Get it: Virgo usually gets labeled with humility, “purity”/innocence, prudence, and chastity. I think these traits being associated with Virgo can be HIGHLY debated on. This is because Virgo is also associated with sensuality, promiscuity, and frankly interesting...preferences. But many signs are associated with two halves of the same subject - e.g. fire with selfishness and generosity or Aquarius with conformity and rebellion. So it is totally understandable to expect Virgo to be connected with both physical restraint and indulgence. Virgo can also be associated with a suppressed drive and desires in the bedroom. I’m going to do something different and link articles on this subject if you’d like to explore more about Virgo’s relationship to physical intimacy:  Venus or Mars in Virgo 

Eros in Virgo 

Madonna Complex 

The hustler represents Virgo’s many different sides. Virgo is sometimes stereotyped as a simple or boring sign, but much like the word hustler they can have many different “definitions” and depths. 

[akitohsworld]

Disclaimer: I wrote this some time ago, when I was very sleepy. How they could've met before the exchange? I love stupid references don't@ me lol

Warning: slight NSFW at the end (under the cut)

Put a spell on me |Solomon X m!Reader

Saying Solomon was feeling under the weather was an understatement. He felt like absolute shit. His stomach was recoiling, giving him the impression he had to vomit, but couldn't. Resulting in him being wobbly on his feet. Although, he was currently trying to sober up. The lack of water caused his head to hurt, while he walked alongside the river to go back to his apartment. He was in no shape to teleport, not with the sense of orientation he had right now.

A frustrated groan escaped him as he grabbed onto the metal fence beside the river, letting gravity take over as he slouched down onto the floor.

It was a beautiful night, you could see the starry sky reflecting in the river. The silence only being disturbed by some outlandish music in the distance. Somewhere, there was another party raving besides the witches sabbath he had successfully escaped.

He knew he shouldn't have accepted that many drinks from the witches. But it had been a successful year, he was only going back to the Devildom next week... And, probably, going to meet that other exchange student by then.

"Hey fam, you okay?" A voice slurred above him, blocking the blinding streetlights before him.

"Yeah yeah, thank you for your concern-," Solomon looked up surprised. He thought he was the only one here-

"Here ," a handsome guy, probably not a sorcerer, held out a bottle of water to him, grinning friendly. "You gotta stay hydrated when drunk."

"Uhm.. thanks?" Solomon chuckled. "That's nice, but I hear I shouldn't accept drinks from kind strangers"

Their hair reflected in the warm light, along with unfocused eyes glistening in the dark, when he shot Solomon a kind smile.

Solomon suspected he was from where the music was coming from. Another rave or party or whatever, since he was wearing flashy attire and sweat was glistening on his smooth skin.

From dancing, maybe? It wasn't that warm. Rather fresh, if Solomon would say so himself.

"Hmmm", the stranger put a hand on his chin. "I guess, I'm feelin' a biiiiit brave tonight haha. Here, I'll take a sip from it first."

He chucked down a bit of water. "There."

Solomon just stared at him for a solid second. Maybe, probably, surely, this was the alcohol. But this stranger had something alluring about him. His glistening lips from the water made Solomon unable to do anything else but stare.

"You going to take it, or not?"

"Ah yes", Solomon grabbed the bottle and took a sip before putting it back down again.

"May I sit with you?" He put a hand on his neck and averted his gaze. "I- uhm came here to get away from all the noise for a bit- I don't wanna be creepy or anything-"

"Oh- Yes of course! Don't worry about it"

The grin returned to his face as he slouched down beside him. "Thank you."

Solomon took another chug of water. He didn't really have anywhere to be, nor did he have the strength to go home anyways. So he figured he might as well sober up, while making some new memories.

"Out of curiosity.. what do you mean by brave?" Solomon smirked at him.

"Well...", the stranger just smiled, a slight tint of colour dusting his cheeks. "You're pretty handsome. And I normally can't ask out guys for the heck of it.. so yeah. I'd say I'm being stupidly brave by talking to someone as hot as you."

The sorcerer laughed. "How very direct"

"Must be the alcohol", he chuckled. "I don't know anyone around here.. and I have a habit of drinking too much when I'm at social gatherings without friends.. What about you? Why are you here all alone?.. If it's okay to ask, at least."

"Ah it's okay~ I'm trying to sober up from drinking too", Solomon sighed. "It was an exhausting night.."

The stranger nodded sighing. "Tell me about it."

"So.. what are you celebrating?"

And so, they proceeded to talk about the reasons why they were here. Their conversation slowly but surely going of its original rails, from politics to religion to light-hearted shows and childhood memories.

Solomon, of course, didn't go into much detail about magic nor anything like that. They were simply trailing off into more and more different topics, running their tongues because of the alcohol.

"Wait, people avoid you when you invite them?" He asked in shock, "Even after you offer to cook for them?! Woah, that's rude after everything you've done..."

Solomon hung his head in disappointment. "I really don't know what the issue is, you know? It's not like they outright avoid me when we nee- want to hang out, but everytime I offer my hospitality they just.. you know?"

"Shiiiit bro... ," he thought for a bit, then joked, "Maybe your cooking sucks?"

Solomon sighed dramatically, proceeding to pout. "Can't blame the tasteless."

"Just kidding kidding!!" he smiled sympathetically, "Maybe it's best if you ask them directly about it. Honesty is always key, no matter where you're from."

Solomon remembered something.

"So, I'm guessing you're not from around here?"

The stranger looked him up and down, seeming to think for a bit and then smirking back at him.

"You tell me, wizard boy. Am I?"

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm", Solomon gesticulated dramatically, "a wizard."

He became serious and leaned closer to Solomon, putting a hand on his shoulder. Solomon's breath hitched ever so slightly as the stranger's intense gaze held him entranced.

"You're a wizard, Harry."

"Huh?"

The stranger wheezed at his reference, as Solomon finally understood and erupted into laughter himself.

He stopped himself to respond seriously:

"..A wizard?"

"Don't you feel it ," the stranger put their hand over Solomon's heart, making his heart pound a bit harder, which surprised him, "...,Mister Krabs?"

"Huh- What?-"

After a perplexed pause they looked at each other and wheezed and cackled in the cursed manner your friends laugh when someone tells a ridiculous, dumb joke.

As they sat there, next to a river enveloped by the light of street lamps in a park, their laughter erupted through the silent night. Nothing but very faint music could be heard in the distance. Solomon didn't even know why he was laughing so hard. It was a stupid reference. And this stranger was clearly out of it.

There was something about him... Solomon just couldn't put his finger to it.

"S-so haha you're a man of culture as well~", Solomon calmed down, "What's your name?"

" Of course~ (y/N)." The stranger responded smiling, wiping away a tear. "Yours?"

"Solomon.", he answered reciprocating the smile.

"Solomon the wise?"

"Yes." He shot him a knowing glance. "So you do know me~"

"Oh yes~" (y/N)'s fingers slid over Solomon's coat. "You dress like a wizard, you look like a wizard aaaaand your named after King Solomon the wise. Great literature surrounds you: like Ars Goëtia and the lesser keys of, well, you", their gaze turned to look into the sorcerer's grey eyes.

With that, Solomon understood.

This person didn't know him . He knew of his tales, the legends, basically fairy tales.

He was like most humans... Unaware of the magical world he lived in. The realisation stung a bit, but the sorcerer decided to play along anyways as he felt himself sobering up.

"Well, I can't disappoint a fan like yourself now, can I?" Solomon smirked.

"Ohh~ So are you going to show me any tricks?" (y/N) laughed, standing up challengingly. "Come at me with your best shot, wizard boy~"

Solomon didn't know why, but he felt the urge to impress the young man.

"Hmm", he stood up, although a bit wobbly. "Alright. But I'll need an assistant~"

"Oh my oh myyy" (y/N) excitedly clapped their hands together. "I'll sacrifice myself for the greater good then."

Solomon chuckled, shooting him a provocative glance through his lashes at which he thought he saw (y/N) blushing.

"So, (y/N), are you ready?"

"I'm was born ready"

Solomon offered him his hand. "Take my hand, my cute assistant~"

"Oh my, and he has a way with words", (y/N) overdramatically took his hand, "The ladies will die if you do that, you know?"

"Oh will they now?", Solomon pulled him towards himself, "What effect do you think Hecate's power will have on you?"

"I like your funny words, magic man", (y/N) smirked playfully. "Tell me more~"

Solomon scoffed. This guy is a walking reference book.

"Have you ever danced with a sorcerer in the pale moonlight?", he asked, putting another hand on (y/N)'s waist, said man's breath hitching.

"W-well, I'm pretty sure the proverb goes different, Solomon", he put a hand on his counterpart's shoulder as he let Solomon take the lead, "I thought you were going to show me a trick though~"

"Patience is a virtue", he simply said teasingly.

"-and a pain", (y/N) retorted, while taking the first step back.

"So you know how to waltz?", Solomon began to lead.

"School taught me many things", he imitated a rough old man voice, "You youngsters would never understand"

Solomon tried to contain his need to laugh.

"Aha~ Funny, enlighten me?"

"Well, I don't know what they teach in wizard boy-school", they turned, " But back in my day, they tried to teach me calculus"

Solomon quirked a brow. "Tried?" Then he spun (y/N) around.

"Well, I was busy drawing into my notes", his cold hand slipped to Solomon's neck, making the sorcerer tense up.

"And what kind of Mona Lisa-worth drawings were you working on? I bet only of the highest quality~", sarcasm dripped from his voice as he shot (y/N) a teasing smile.

"Oh you can't even imagine~", (y/N) rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner before shooting him a deadpan look, "Penises mostly"

A laugh escaped Solomon. "How refined"

"I am nothing but refined, sir~"

Solomon spun him around again, matching no pace in particular, as he pulled him closer to his chest this time. A small gasp left (y/N)'s mouth.

"H-hey now, be careful there. Or do you want me to fall?"

Solomon's lips pursed up in amusement, but quickly froze as he looked into the man's face.

(y/N)'s expression was contorted in utter joy, like he couldn't contain their grin. He looked stupidly adorable...

Solomon felt his heart clench at the sight. But he quickly snapped out of it as he shot (y/N) another charming smile.

"So, about 'the ladies dying' at my charm.."

"You're still on about that?" (y/N) chuckled amused, "Give it a rest wizard boy. We get it, you're handsome-"

"What about you?" his cheeks burned as he felt himself getting... Nervous? That's new.

Solomon hoped the darkness wouldn't give him away, "How do you feel about my 'charm'?"

For a second everything stood still and they both came to a stop. Their eyes locked and silence engulfed them. Tension began to claw at both man's braveness, as realisation struck them. This encounter had progressively turned into something more. Not some random thing.

It felt like..

(y/N) averted his gaze, face flushing a bright red as he chuckled nervously. "It... It takes a bit more for me to die, Sol.."

Fate.

"Is that so?", Solomon's fingers interlaced with his as he slowly inched closer.

"I mean.. you could find out..." (y/N)'s eyes slowly closed when-

Strings of colourful magic sparked around them.

"Huh?!" His eyes shot wide open, grip tightening on Solomon's hands, "What-"

(y/N) looked around stunned and extremely surprised.

"So? How was that for a 'magic trick'?"

(y/N)'s gaze returned to face him. "Y-you.. How?"

The sorcerer just hummed. "Who knows?"

"This... Must be a dream then..", he sighed disappointed, a tinge of sadness in his voice, "That's a bummer.. I really like you."

Now it was Solomon's turn to blush.

"I- I understand the confusion, but- mph?!"

With that his lips pressed onto Solomon's.

The sorcerer froze, while (y/N)'s mouth opened a little, slipping his tongue through Solomon's mouth. He tasted like sweet liquor, further entrancing the sorcerer in a passionate kiss.

Solomon got over his shock quickly as his hands found the other's waist, pulling him towards himself. When (y/N) sighed into the kiss, hands burying into his white locks, excitement shot through his spine.

Solomon pressed him against a nearby tree. He grew hot as (y/N)'s soft, wet lips brushed against his, the passion growing with each passing second.

"Mnh hah", (y/N) parted for a second, a string of saliva connecting them, lips barely brushing against his, "This.. feels too real though.."

"Because it is- ", Solomon panted against his mouth, connecting their lips again with more of his own vigor this time. His tongue eagerly brushing over the other's.

God, what was he doing?

What was he doing??

But fuck it felt so good.

He couldn't resist the desire to touch (y/N) more and more. He wanted him closer and it showed.

As if on cue, (y/N)'s hand slid over Solomon's pants, suddenly palming his half hard erection and making him moan into the other's mouth longingly.

"Mnn- (y/N) wait.."

"Mnh? Oh sorry-!", he stopped abruptly.

"N-no I mean... Let's.. let's go to my place-"

"Oh~" (y/N) smiled and kissed him again, teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he parted panting.

"Alright then. Show me the way, wizard-boy~"

[sapphicsongbirdblues]

Calanthe and Eist’s Birth Charts

okay so because I’m a fucking nerd I decided to spend upwards of 6 hours a couple of weeks ago making birth charts for Calanthe and Eist, and I figured that I’d share them here since I put so much fucking work into them. 

Good to note that all of these traits are heavily influenced by @marvellouslymadmim ‘s incredible fics....

I’ve also taken the liberty to give them birthdays bahaha, and I didn’t do houses because that would have taken me an extra 10 hours so this is just the planets. It’s long so read below cut :)

Calanthe, December 23, 1218 (Sun- Mars + Rising placements)

Sun in Capricorn: center of self, other traits mix with this

Meticulous, dead-pan, practical, they get shit DONE son, very self-assured, sarcastic, need structure or they will literally fall apart (and they often do.. Although secretly), resourceful, intelligent, blunt… need I say more

Moon in Aquarius: rules emotions, moods, feelings

Observant, oftentimes considered “loners,” powerful defense mechanisms, willful, wil deny “irrational” emotions (jealousy, possessiveness, fear) in order to seem “above” others, independent, thrive off of “shock-value,” proud, don’t like “messy” emotions, can seem incredibly distant to the people closest to them, hide sensitivities very well, unpredictable, stubborn, and incredibly seductive and charming

Ascendent in Leo: the “mask” you wear, public persona

GREAT hair, cares about appearance (not necessarily out of vanity but out of an understanding that appearance can be a weapon), aware of how they are perceived, very tender and gentle with loved ones, say exactly what they think, enjoy being the center of attention… but ONLY when they choose to be

Mercury in Scorpio: planet of communication

meticulous→ gets to the bottom of EVERYTHING, great observers, suspicious, tend to focus on the negative, passionate, prone to lecturing rather than listening, however they are excellent at giving advice, better communicators when it comes to subjects that are not close to home→ have a hard time communicating needs/feelings, excellent strategizers, constructive criticism = destructive criticism (they will rip you to shreds), want to WIN conversations (and often do), defensive of people they care about, love a challenge

Venus in Pisces: planet of love and relationships

In love they are dreamy and soft, can be a little moody and irregular, hard to read, like to “feel things out” (HATE decision making), can take YEARS to commit to something/someone, want partners to know that their love is unconditional, like to save people, tender and affectionate, oftentimes hard to reach, flippant, absolutely devoted (eventually)

Mars in Scorpio: planet of sex and aggression

Lovesssss a challenge→ like to set personal goals to see if they can meet them/ bend the rules, formidable opponents, hard to read, high sexual stamina, generally get what they want in bed (ahem), possessive of partners (but will never admit it), can have a hard time compromising, great survival instincts, very protective people, show love through physical touch and sex, extrememly passionate individuals

Eist, June 26, 1219 (Sun-Mars + Rising)

Sun in Cancer: center of self

Protective, caring, nurturing, moody, led by emotions, good at hiding vulnerability but are VERY VULNERABLE, soft, self-sacrificing

Moon in Taurus: rules emotions, moods, feelings

Cherish familiarity, strong-willed, sensory, materialistic, persevering (sometimes to a fault), crave stability and often ARE that stability for others, very romantic, affectionate, sentimental, warm, enduring, hold on tight to their loved ones, loyal, serene, stubborn af, crave routine, need clear lines and boundaries

Ascendant in Pisces: “mask,” public persona, physical appearance 

Very very dreamy (and often have dreamy eyes), idealistic, go with the flow, gentle, peacemakers and peace lovers, chameleon- like persona (often can change easily to blend in with their environments socially and emotionally), can be shy or quiet but that’s because they are taking time to observe everything around them, however they loveeee to talk when the time is right, restless and searching, “feel their way through life,” rely heavily on emotions, irresistible charm, soft aura, very likeable

Mercury in Cancer: planet of communication

Communicate through feelings, sensitive, deep thinkers, can take time to respond to situations, excellent listeners, meditative and reflective, incredible memories (especially good at remembering emotional context), has a hard time letting emotions go, gentle, intuitive, sentimental, protective, soothing, nurturing, can get “lost” in another person’s way of thinking/feeling, very good with words (especially along the lines of letter writing and poetry)

Venus in Cancer: planet of love and relationships

Need commitment and predictability, sensitive, need security and care, pay more attention to their partner’s feelings than their words, excellent listeners, can be incredibly moody (especially if they don’t have an outlet for their stronger emotions), hate indifference (like indifference could literally kill them… so don’t do that), not afraid of confronting emotions, a bit anxious in love→ need reassurance, can be possessive, sentimental, tender, attached, cuddly, soft

Mars in Taurus: planet of sex and aggression

Calm and easy going, can have powerful tempers when pushed over the edge (but it doesn’t happen often), value strength and stability, need security, will spend years trying to achieve a goal, will not change their mind (like ever… well almost), immovable, extremely sensory when it comes to sex, long lasting and steady sexual stamina, not necessarily spontaneous but they stick to what they’re good at, very emotionally connected to sex (it’s never just physical)

Shared Placements (Jupiter-Pluto)

Jupiter in Scorpio: Jupiter represents the traits that bring us fortune

Incredibly emotional (but secretive about it), decisive, intense, have great will power, intuitive, creative, in control

Cal and Eist are both emotionally intelligent. They are seekers of truths and are determined in their efforts. Both like to be in control, both are led by emotions and passions rather than logic. When fully tapped into their emotions, they are unstoppable. When cultivated correctly, emotions become their most powerful tools and weapons. 

Saturn in Pisces: reveals limitations of the self

Saturn in Pisces people are incredibly helpful and are excellent caregivers; however they are not so good at directing that care towards themselves. In fact, they often shut down when someone directs pity (or what these Piscean placements deem as pity) at them. They like to be in control, so when they aren’t they become paranoid and anxious. Saturn in Pisces individuals have to work extra hard to take care of themselves-- this is one of their greatest faults.

Cal and Eist are both care-givers; they fiercely protect the people they love most. However, they have a hard time taking care of themselves, and letting others take care of them. They believe that they have the ability to protect themselves if they hold onto that self-control, but they often do not have self control as they are led primarily by emotion. Each of them needs coaxing from their loved ones to truly take care of themselves. They rely heavily on their close circles. 

Uranus in Gemini: rules friends, relationships, community, transformation, change, ideas

Uranus in Gemini people are super energetic and are incredible innovators. They are quick witted and quick tempered, often moving between emotions and ideas in moments. They are great transformers of thought, and often break traditions and taboos (rather gleefully). They hate authority, and will question it relentlessly.

Cal and Eist are both witty and intelligent people. They’re excellent strategists and politicians. Although they both perform their roles as diplomats and political leaders, they often go out of their way to subvert norms and question authority. They create new rules, they bend tradition. They hide in plain sight. 

Neptune in Virgo: to refine, planet of inspiration

Neptune in Virgo people are idealistic and detail oriented. They love to serve others, especially those in need. They value work and health and safety. They are versatile and adaptable. They are motivated by a sense of duty and helpfulness. 

Cal and Eist are excellent leaders and they truly value their positions as respective rulers of their nations. They are compassionate, though stern, and are ready to make hard decisions when it comes to issues of diplomacy. They are also quite stubborn, and oftentimes their opinions are conflated with fact. It’s important to note that the two generations following are Neptune in Libra (full of individuals who value harmony and diplomacy and justice-- ahem Pavetta), and Neptune in Scorpio (full of individuals who are secretive, profound, and enjoy solitude; people who also enjoy the search for truth and justice-- ahem Cirilla).

Pluto in Taurus: symbolizes rebirth, change, secrets

Pluto in Taurus individuals are incredibly stubborn and persistent. They value materials and will never be satisfied with the amount of resources they have. They hate change and love their way. 

Cal and Eist (and Mousesack and other characters around their age group) were born and grew up in a generation which sought, conquered, and maintained resources effectively. Cal, especially, used her strengths and her resourcefulness to protect and improve her kingdom; and for a majority of her rule maintained diplomacy without surrendering any of her power. However, the generation following Taurus is Gemini. This generation (including Cahir and Pavetta and potentially Ciri) are inquisitive and thirsty for ideas and knowledge. They are the breakers of tradition. Where Cal and Eist’s generation built and maintained some version of stability, Pavatta and Cahir’s generation destroy borders and bring about great change and innovation. 

[firstginger]

I know you’re probably tired of doing formfinding/Dæmon analysis, but if you’re up for doing another one I’m trying to pinpoint my boyfriend’s Dæmon. He’s an INFP, 9w1 4w5 6w5, sx/sp, Hufflepuff. The closest daemons I can find that seem to match his personality are the General Flying Snake and the Grasshopper Sparrow. He got a Kinkajou on your Dæmon test which also seems pretty close for a Pullman form for him. He’s a very introverted person who doesn’t like to go out much and likes to stick

with what he knows, otherwise gets very anxious and has social anxiety/suffers with depression. He’s very kind, loyal, and creative. He can procrastinate and be lazy sometimes, but he gets his work done and does his best at it. He can be spontaneous in how he dresses and starts certain art or fashion related projects. He’s very dependent and close bonding with a select few people (me, friends, and family). He can become easily stressed and hates conflict or competition. He is very much a peace-maker

and always wants to right what is wrong, even when he has done something wrong or upsetting. He’s very affectionate and is in a relationship for life. He’s not manipulative at all and is very communicative when expressing his thoughts and feelings. He has a hard time trusting new people in his life, but he will slowly begin to open up. I hop e this gives a pretty good picture overall. Sorry for the lengthy message. Again, if you have time I would greatly appreciate it. I know you’ve

been through a lot this year. You’re so strong having such a positive attitude about everything and the genuine kindness you show towards people is amazing. Thank you so much for always responding to my lengthy messages and requests. I love reading your analyses and advice. Thank you so much!

thank you so so much for the kind words, it really means a lot to me ❤️ i was meaning to ask you if you’d settled on a mourning dove or a golden retriever too!!

this is a fantastic description and i spent a lot of time milling about this. if you have reasons why the flying snake and grasshopper sparrow didn’t quite fit that would also be super helpful, definitely message me about them and the forms i suggested below and i can refine my suggestions!

looking at the two descriptions though, i think i can see why the flying snake was close but no cigar... from how you describe him, the flying snake seems too detached and not communicative enough. most snake forms tend to be more socially tolerant and not what i’d describe as dependent at all; they also have a capacity for manipulation and a desire to go about their life undisturbed that i think your boyfriend lacks. i really enjoy the snake form for a lot of people, but affectionate and kind aren’t cardinal traits of theirs.

looking at the grasshopper sparrow, again i think i can see the issues you’re having — the capacity for manipulation (sparrows as a whole are pretty tenacious and survivalists as a species) and that methodical and detail-oriented nature doesn't seem to become him, if he's more the creative and procrastinating type. birds get placed as sensors a lot and while i don't think it's a hard and fast rule, sparrows i think lack a lot of the strengths of an intuitive, while exemplifying the strengths of a sensor. at the same time, i can definitely see a lot of traits in him that might fit a birds, so i wanted to start with other bird suggestions that might work before broadening into other species. my only hesitation with other passeridae is many of them group together in flocks, are migratory, and engage in polyandry, but i’ll play around with some and other aves species.

the rock sparrow was my initial thought that could fit him. a very shy and unobtrusive species, the rock sparrow is typically found in low densities, but displays a strong ability to adapt across a variety of habitats. different groups of rock sparrows show different degrees of gregariousness and breeding strategies... when a species is capable of demonstrating a range of adaptive behavior like this, i think it best correlates to human behavior as someone flexible. they also have an impressive capacity for vocalizations, and their preference for taking over abandoned burrows instead of building their own i think fits a procrastinating reputation. so in summary: a rock sparrow person would be highly capable of adaptation and flexibility, while still being an individual who prefers not to over-exert themselves and likes to find a niche. they may be too socially tolerant for your boyfriend as loose group activity doesn’t stress them, but they show an extreme attachment to their loved ones, with mate-guarding techniques that would translate to protectiveness and dependence. very communicative but not confrontational or assertive. tends to be the procrastinating and corner-cutting type, though diligent when it comes to completing work and seeing things through. i thought the yellow patch would also be cute symbolically for someone who dresses spontaneously too!

have you considered species of buttonquail, such as the quail-plover? they’re not related to the galliforme quails. the quail-plover specifically is a monogamous species that’s typically only found in small groups, and displays shy and anxious behavior when threatened. again though they’re pretty adaptable and willing to be flexible, and considering their nervous temperament, i would anticipate them to be less bold and gregarious and more the type of person who will change from routine if it avoids future stress or conflict.

coursers like the indian courser and double-banded courser i think would be my last aves suggestion... they’re non-migratory and engage in solitary, monogamous behavior. definitely not ambitious individuals and likely also display that kind of “bare minimum” behavior; less adaptable than any of the sparrow species and enjoy tried and true methods. habitual but efficient and determined in their own niche, they come to life when pursuing their specific passions. very generous and giving people with their loved ones. socially tolerant and non-aggressive. they’ll also flush, which gives me the impression of someone more anxious, especially when coupled with how camouflaged they and their nests are. interestingly, while they do vocalize, the indian courser in specifically does not call when the nest is approached — i think this species would best fit someone who wants to keep their head down, communicative but very non-assertive and wants to keep the peace.

outside of birds, this behavior actually reminded me a lot of some pseudocheiridae... i really think the rock-haunting ringtail possum is a worthwhile to check out! they live in small groups and are highly adapted to their territory; they're so well-camouflaged for their rocky terrain, to hide from predators, they literally just stick their head into a crevice and keep their body exposed. when foraging they don't travel far from their home, but they have a highly diverse diet. they’re extremely vigilant animals and demonstrate generosity towards their group-mates through alarm calls. very tightly knit family groups and they show dependence on their loved ones, as well as high communication and reciprocity with their people. their communication is both vocal and scent-related, though they’re not aggressive or assertive at all, and prefer to avoid trouble. i think this fits a lot of boxes that you mentioned: habitual, kind and loyal, anxious, close-bonding, conflict-avoidant, devoted, and communicative.

the kéwel (bushbuck) might be too withdrawn and quiet, but could be worth a look too... a lot of bovines are pretty defensive and boundary-keeping, but this species is quite tolerant and passive. they travel in small groups but aren’t territorial at all; i imagine this to be a private soul who closely values their group of friends, but is rather socially tolerant and not assertive around others. just by the nature of the bushbuck, i would consider this individual dependent on their loved ones as well. they also definitely prefer their routines and habits and aren't terribly ambitious, and prefer to stay out of the limelight and conserve their peace. i can’t emphasize enough how tolerant these people are. they communicate primarily through scent, so while i wouldn’t describe this individual as overly expressive, they are clear about their thoughts and boundaries.

the last suggestion i’ll toss out is the finless porpoise, if you’re open to aquatic mammals? i think it strikes a nice balance between the creative and spontaneous side he has, and then also someone more introverted and peaceful. the finless porpoise is more mellow and even-tempered than other porpoises. they travel in small, tightly formed groups and display affectionate behavior to reinforce those social bonds. i imagine someone with this daemon to be kind but introverted, an individual who is hard to get to know but blossoms into someone open-hearted and generous. they likely have a sensitive disposition and are slow to start on tasks, but are focused and diligent once they set their mind to something. like most porpoise species, they’re definitely curious and inquisitive people, but finless porpoises are more cautious and the type to look before they leap.

i hope this was helpful! let me know your thoughts!

[dvinefem]

                         [ ARIANA GRANDE / KALLOS / CHARIS / MUSE 26 ] / [ GIADA VITALE ] is a  [ TWENTY ONE ] year old [ FASHION DESIGN ] major. [ SHE ] is known for being [ VIBRANT & NURTURING ] but [ GUARDED & VAIN ].  when i think of them, i imagine [ SKETCHBOOKS AND FABRIC SWATCHES, THE LINGERING SCENT OF FRESHLY SMUDGED PALO SANTO, SUCCULENTS ADORNING A WINDOWSILL ]. and even though they’re a proud HU student now, we all have our roots. theirs run back to them being a [ MHP ( AQUA ) ] graduate.  i asked around and it turns out they [ AREN’T ] an AOP student. in their interview, they managed to woo the admissions team by [ PRESENTING SOME PROTOTYPES FROM A MOCK-UP CLOTHING LINE ]. i guess that’s all there is to know! unless…

✧ °˖ — hi there folks ! it’s me, your friendly neighborhood ki. i’m super duper excited for this to start asdfghj. ok ok onto the intro. 

G E N E R A L !

FULL NAME: giada marie vitale

NICKNAMES: gigi, gi

BIRTHDATE: october 1st 1998

STAR SIGN: libra 

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

LABEL: charis ( grace )

SUBPLOT: muse 26 ( not a catfish , only a shark )

S C H O O L I N G !

MHP HOUSE: aqua ( authentic, imaginative, intuitive )

HU HOUSE: kallos ( aesthetics, imagination, elegance, creation )

MAJOR: fashion design

CLUBS: forces of nature club president, artistic horizons member, eleusinian circle member

S I M I L A R I T I E S !

BROOKE DAVIS ( one tree hill ) , CAROLINE FORBES ( the vampire diaries ) , ALICE ( alice in wonderland ) , ELLE WOODS ( legally blonde ) , also a touch of MISTY DAY ( american horror story )

T R A I T S !

+ vibrant , nurturing ,confident 

- guarded , vain , coquettish

I N F O !

giada was the only child born to two high profile italian lawyers who didn’t exactly have much time for her. so, an in-house nanny was their prime solution.

practically raised by a kind woman named antonella, a nanny who took care of her every whim until the age of 16.

she doesn’t talk about her home life with many people — not relating to anybody who has a close relationship with their parents. whenever she mentions her mum, she’s usually referring to antonella.

being an only child with busy parents meant having tons of hobbies. antonella had a bit of a green thumb, so the two were often found out in the garden for hours on end. the nanny went into extensive detail with giada about every plant known to mankind. she ended up taking a liking to it. when night fell, antonella would set up a blanket beneath the the stars — teaching her all of the constellations names.

her nanny also taught her palm and tarot reading — an art giada’s practiced for years. a pretty cool party trick she whips out often.

very vocal about her big dreams of being a luxury designer, she’ll talk your ear off about colors, ask you for your opinion on swatches.. basically you’ll probably have to tell her to hit the road lmao.

while her parents wished she’d take a more practical route like they had, gigi has always had an actively creative mind and a passion for fashion ( bratz anyone ?? ). always in her room talking to her succulents — filling sketchbooks with designs and sewing away. i should note that she’s also into eco-friendly fashion and will be v upset if she sees anyone wearing REAL fur. faux fur only, pls.

although she’s a very spiritual and grounded person, giada can tend to be a tad vain. the way she looks is extremely important to her, obviously.

she has a taste for all things beautiful. refined, sophisticated, and graceful are her design aesthetics. 

huge dreams for such a small girl, but she’s ready and willing to do anything to manifest them into a reality. 

chanel’s classic and feminine aesthetic would be her cup o’ tea any day over gucci.

even if she doesn’t mean to, she can come off a bit bitchy at times as well. she’ll tell it like it is.. but still ask you to grab froyo with her after. she just wants everyone to be the best version of themselves. being unkind to anyone is NEVER her intention. she’d do ANYTHING for the people she cares about most.

pretty much the mom friend in any squad, wanting to take care of everyone else before her self.

it should be noted that she’s a bit guarded and won’t open her entire soul up to many people anymore due to the aftermath of her subplot ! ( peep her subplot on the main for more details here )

also president of the forces of nature club.. so if she sees you with single use plastic of any kind she’s gonna be offended lol.

C O N N E C T I O N S !

ok i know i’m a werido & can’t make a SIMPLE list. a lot of my inspo for a muse goes hand in hand with music SO.. listed below are some wanted connections with a tiny description we can expand on, and it’s correlating song/vibe ! hmu if you’re feelin’ any of them

..and ofc, feel free to suggest other connections that aren’t here ! i’m always very open ! give me frenemies, give me rivals give me aNGST ! pls 

THERE FOR YOU // MARTIN GARRIX & TROYE SIVAN

( familial bff / cousin ) -- 00/01

pretty self explanatory here ! either a hardcore best friend that’s so close that they may as well be family, OR ! a legitimate cousin who is basically sibling at this point. i’m open to either option ! they have each others backs through thick and thin, and surely tell each other aLMOST everything. gimmie gimmie. 

BEST ON EARTH // RUSS FEAT. BIA

( hookup / fwb ) -- 00/01

note ! this spot can be filled by any muse, as giada identifies as pansexual ! we can iron out the details of how this came about together. perhaps they were friends prior, or it just happened out of the blue at a party one night & it’s just been convenient to continue. just remember.. the biggest rule of a casual hookup ?? don’t catch feelings. but.. we’ve all seen the movies.

IF THE WORLD WAS ENDING // JP SAXE FEAT. JULIA MICHAELS

( ex-boyfriend ) -- 00/01

your typical angsty first love situation. possibly dated for a few years ( in high school or more recently in uni ), they ended up realizing that it just wasn’t working. even though they had love for each other, the pair had to split up. “ i know, you know, we know were weren’t meant for each other and it’s fine. ” they both knew it was just better that way. and now.. they just can’t seem to shake the feelings they had. “ but if the world was ending, you’d come over right ? ” asdfghg gIVE IT TO ME. 

GOOD AS HELL // LIZZO

( squad ) -- 00/03

i’ll leave three spots open for this connection because what’s better than a squad ?? NOTHING ! any gender is welcome, of course !  giada is naturally a pretty friendly person ( unless you cross her, people she loves, or are straight up disrespectful ), but when it comes to her main gang -- she’s a ride or die kind of gal. your greatest hypeman. the mom friend. she’ll have your back no matter what, and you can count on that.

[judesaves]

it’s the middle of the night, but i’ll just plop down and say hello anyways! this here is my star-of-his-high-school-hockey-team-but-not-his-ahl-team, formally big fish in a huge ass pond, still-kinda-under-the-oppressive-influence-of-his-evangelical-dad hockey playing Good Boi Jude.

judah ‘jude’ ames (casey cott) who works as a cashier at the armory. he’s from thunder bay, ontario and lives in east vale. they’re ardent and optimistic but can also be vacuous and prudish. sometimes, they’re known as the sanctimonious.

my bio is super long so i apologize in advance, but here’s all you need to know abt judie the prudie!

full name / nicknames: Judah Seth Ames / Jude, Judie, J, the Bae From Thunder Bay age / date of birth: 27 / July 30th, 1992 place of birth: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada previous residences / current residence: Sarnia, Ontario, Canada; Kitchener, Ontario, Canada; London, Ontario, Canada; Hershey, Pennsylvania; Chicago, Illinois; Des Moines, Iowa / Kingscrest, Colorado citizenship / ethnicity: Canadian (on a sports visa) / White (English, Danish, Dutch, German) religion: Lutheran socioeconomic status / political affiliation: Upper Class / Unaffiliated, but liberal leaning martial status: Single sexual & romantic orientation: heterosexual, hetero-romantic (he’s not questioned it, at the very least) education / occupation: high school graduate / cashier at The Armory

former teams / current team: Hershey Bears, Chicago Wolves, Iowa Wild / Kingscrest Knights position / shoots: Center / Right jersey number: #41 NHL draft: 79th overall, Washington Capitals professional playing career: 2010 – 2018

parents: Teresa Ames (mother), David Ames (father) siblings: Jared Ames (older brother by two years), Jacob Ames (younger brother by eleven years), Julianne Ames (younger sister by eleven years) offspring: none pets: family dog named Gretsky (German Shepherd), though he’s back in Thunder Bay

faceclaim: Casey Cott hair color / eye color: brown / pale green height / build: 5′11″ / athletic, muscular tattoos / piercings: none / none distinguishable features / scars: big lips, strong jawline / various bodily scars from hockey injuries over his lifetime dexterity: right handed known allergies: none visual impairment / hearing impairment: none / none nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use: no / no / socially

traits: confident, brawny, optimistic, playful, prudish, vacuous, arrogant, disapproving temperament: choleric alignment: lawful good enneagram: type one, the reformer mbti: ESTJ hogwarts house: gryffindor vice / virtue: pride / chastity likes / dislikes: hockey, the feeling of skates gliding on smooth ice, exercising, sleeping, cheesecake, snow, comedies, rules / montreal canadiens, partying, breaking his diet, the fear of never making it to the nhl, broccoli, phone calls from his father, westerns, soccer favorite media: to kill a mockingbird by harper lee (book), planes, trains, and automobiles (film), bob’s burgers (television show), tell her about it by billy joel (song) favorite color: blue 

hockey has been a part of judah’s life for longer than he can remember. his first memories include the freezing solidness of the ice, the snug feeling of skates on his feet, the weight of a helmet upon his head. jude grew up believing he was born to play hockey, and really, he wasn’t wrong. a complete natural, despite hating it the first time his parents put him on the ice. a tantrum ensued, even though jared, his older brother and jude’s personal childhood hero, promised him it wasn’t scary and he was safe; he wanted to do everything jared did, but he wasn’t ready yet.

hockey wasn’t the only thing he was scared of. his father, david, taught his sons about hell before they were old enough to understand the concept. he taught them about sins. how fornication would damn you, how adultery would greet you with the devil, how doing anything wrong would leave you burning in hell forever. the list of things that were wrong to do, however, got longer and longer as his children grew, until doing anything but praying or playing a sport would condemn his soul. jude never heard his father say it, but he felt he was doing something wrong, something sinful when he cried and plopped down on the ice that day, begging for his brother to pick him up and bring him off the slippery ice.

his soul was saved after he turned five, when he got tired of watching jared play and wanted to join his older brother in the rink. the second time he laced up a pair of skates, at the tender age of five, jude fell in love. he finally fulfilled his purpose, or rather realized it. still so young, the local mini mite league not much more than toddlers standing around on the ice as the coaches uselessly tried to direct them on wobbly skates, little jude became fascinated with the sport. watching it constantly on the television, attending all of his older brother’s games, wearing all the leafs apparel his parents bought for him. their summers spent on roller blades playing with a toy goal set in the driveway, their winters spent freezing in the stands or skating on razor sharp blades.

as the minor leagues started raising up with age, so did the level of skills needed to play, and jude quickly proved to be a natural. the way he glided effortlessly, the way he turned on the hairpin edge of blades with ease, the way he listened and adhered to direction like a loyal solider. judah had memorized the rule book from front to back by the time he was nine, could spout off any definition or recall the minutiae details of a rule his own coaches had mostly forgotten, to the point of annoyance for his teammates and coaching staff. anyone could see that jude was going places, they could tell jude was going to make it.

but he wasn’t going to go as far as jared. jude paled in comparison to his older brother. for every rule he could recite like a sermon or puck he could hit squarely into the net, jared was faster, harder, stronger, better. he lived in jared’s shadow and what a well-lived in shadow it was. it didn’t matter how good jude was when jared was there, it didn’t matter if jude was a good player when jared was great… for a time.

the ames family added two more children, a pair of twins. jacob and julianne came into the world when jude and jared were eleven and fourteen respectively. even with two new babies in the house, the two older ames brothers were never distracted from their shared sport. their mother the focus of the childrearing, their father focused on rearing his two sons into hockey prodigies. loyal servants to the church of god and gretzky, the ames boys were good, they were righteous, they were perfect. perfect, how that word seemed to follow them. perfect, that was the ultimate praise from their father, when they followed the letter of jesus or their coaches. the fear of disappointing their father was the fear of going to hell. they had to be the best, they had to be perfect, they had to be righteous if they were going to make it.

the foundation of their perfect little family started to crack once jude was headed into peewee. the pressure from their father a fixture that had known for their entire lives, the pressure that kept them perfect, jared finally bent underneath that weight. his playing, while always more fast-paced and fierce than jude’s, got sloppier and less dignified. his hits were less than clean, his gloves dropped more than they didn’t, his pucks still landed in the goals but their passes to get there were dangerous. if that didn’t piss off their father enough, jared would stay out later, would go to parties on school nights, would refuse to go to church. i’m the bad one now, judie, so you don’t have to be, jared whispered to him once on a drive back from practice but jude didn’t understand what his brother meant.

jude was never in danger of being the bad one. the meek one, yes, the quiet one or the shy one, but he was never bad. his behavior, his playing, it was barely less than perfect. as jared’s star started to diminish (in their father’s eyes, at least, since jared only got more popular at school the more he partied), focus started to turn on jude. david’s focus, namely. david started taking jude out for hot chocolate after practices, ice cream parlors after winning a game. david wouldn’t let jude end up like jared, he wouldn’t let jude go down the same road of sin his older brother walked down. jared was still a good player, yes, or rather he still played well, but he wasn’t perfect anymore. jared was getting worse, jude was only getting better.

even if jared proclaimed that he was willingly taking the heat off of jude, a rift started to grow between the two. people were starting to praise jude more, talk about him more, talk about how good he was getting. the shadow that jude lived in was starting to shift, others were starting to notice him. judah ames, just a boy of fourteen, was the one the parents of his teammates would point out, the one they’d beg their children to hang out with in case his discipline and skill would rub off on them. his thoughts were only occupied with hockey, every dream he had was just reliving old games or planning for future ones. everything related to it, no matter if he was looking for a connection or not. hockey was the only personality he had.

who could blame him, though? with the way his father yelled from the stands, often yelling louder than the coach. with the way his father dropped him off promptly before practice began and picked up him not a second after it ended. as the reins on jared were forcibly loosened, the reins tightened on jude and david promised himself and god that he’d never let judah seth ames go. they moved across ontario with every minor team jared or judah joined, though they always considered thunder bay to be their home. as jude became more disciplined, more refined in his playing, jared got worse, got messier, to the point that he was considered the goon of their team. the two ames boys, once both considered perfect, once identified by the order of their birth, were now classified by good or bad, clean or dirty, pure or sinful.

seventeen, the year in every hockey player’s life that things start to change. the nhl just a dream for them, it becomes more realized as the draft starts to tick down and loom over them. jared, playing badly and antics getting more dramatic as their father focused more on jude, felt his dream slipping from him fast. the scouts eyes, once glued to him at every game they attended, drifted to his little brother now. not even old enough to drink, jared ames was quickly becoming a has-been, before he ever really was something. the boy everyone thought was going to make it didn’t even make it to the draft. jared ames quit playing hockey at the age of nineteen.

judah wouldn’t end up like that, though. david ames promised that to his son and any other parent in the stands that still bothered to listen to his ramblings. judah ames was going to make it. he was perfection, on the ice and off it. most boys, even boys on the same team, were interested in girls, lots even had girlfriends. jude was interested, but he wasn’t allowed to be. boys like that were sinful, they were wrong, they were bad. jude wasn’t allowed a girlfriend, wasn’t even really allowed a friend. everything in his life revolved around hockey, even church as david led prayers for victory before every game. there wasn’t time to think about girls, to think about anything else. even studying was secondary, his grades were only required to be strong enough to let him play every game; the only part of his life that didn’t require perfection.

while jared struggled underneath the pressure, jude endured it, even flourished underneath it. an amazing player, not just in the way he shot and hit and skated, but in his attention to detail and rules. some even said he’d be the next sidney crosby, but jude wouldn’t let himself get intimidated by the comparison. he was good, but he wasn’t that good. he wasn’t perfect, not yet. the comparison he hated was the one to his brother, the older boys on the team that had played with jared before his retirement called jude ‘the replacement’. he hated that word, replacement, even more than the word perfect. his father didn’t help, telling him how he’s so much better than jared ever was, how jude was going to be the one to make it all the way to the top, like it was guaranteed.

the time for jude’s draft started nearing quickly as he entered his senior year of high school. the pressure from his father and his coaches got heavier as the date neared, even his brother (now living in an apartment back in thunder bay) contributing to the worry and excitement. always a dream of his, to make it to the majors, jude finally felt the cracking his brother before him felt. calm and collected on the ice, jude only felt anxiety when he left it every night. his dreams, usually filled with scenes of play, now only showed him a future where he’d end up exactly like jared. he had to make it to the nhl, he needed to make it there, he needed to be good, he needed to be perfect.

the draft finally only days away, jude worked tirelessly in the rink to keep his mind off of it. what if he didn’t get picked? what if he ended up like jared, not even making it to the draft? what if he hated the team he got picked for? oh god, what if he was drafted to montreal! his worries not helped by his father that only ever wanted to talk about the draft, jude spent those last few days wishing he never laced up his skates again that one winter day when he was five.

the draft came in a bubble of excitement and fear. finally the one thing he’d been waiting for his whole life was here. feeling like his stomach was going to cave in on itself, he nearly missed it when his name was finally called. the hershey bears, the ahl affliate of the washington capitals. not exactly what he wanted, preferring something in canada, but not too far from home and not too warm. in the end, jude was just excited to play the sport he loves. he was excited to make it to the draft, unlike his older brother. he was excited to be one step closer to the nhl. most of all, he was excited to be away from his father.

the excitement didn’t last long, however. well, it didn’t last forever. traded from the bears after a year, jude ended up being traded to the chicago wolves at the age of twenty two, settling in for most of his career in the minors. he was still a great player, but the professional leagues are all filled with great players, and he was already beginning to feel like an adult among children when his new teammates after every draft seemed to be getting younger and younger. by the time he was twenty five, jude knew he would likely never make it to the nhl, but he refused to acknowledge it. his father half-held belief in his son, and half-berated him for not yet making his nhl debut; every time they needed a spot filled for a game or two, they called someone else up, and jude had to explain to his father why exactly he wasn’t the best on his team, why the coaches didn’t notice him like they should’ve. the love of the game only carried him so far, and the yearning to be on a major professional team slowly turned to bitter regret. he couldn’t wonder why the ahl wasn’t enough for his father, why it’s not perfect, when he’s convinced of the same.

jude knew that if he wasn’t going to make it by now, he’d never make it to the nhl. traded after a few good years with the wolves, jude moved to iowa and played with the wild for only a season before he decided it was time to retire professionally. he was a star that had diminished, he was just another good player on an okay team, and soon he wouldn’t even be remembered by anyone. deciding not to renew his one year contract with the wild, jude went back to thunder bay, and quickly regretted moving back in with his parents on two fronts: he missed hockey, and he did not miss his father’s rants. 

while his father’s influence lessened from distance and time apart, it was back in full force once he was under their roof again. while he was no longer concerned about staying pure and righteous (partying with hockey players barely out of their teens tends to do that), the thoughts that he was wrong, dirty, sinful started to creep back in. he was not just dirty from the sin of the outside world, he was dirty, stained, a failure. jude was not perfect, never was. just another failure, like his brother jared before him, it was a different sensation to be jealous when he was moping on the couch and watching as his younger brother jacob gathered his equipment in his bag and their father lectured jake about his sloppy skating last practice. he has never missed the pressure from his father before, and he can only hope that jake doesn’t crack underneath the weight now that their father’s hopes and dreams are on him.

after six months of tolerating his father and drifting aimlessly, missing his sport and hating it at the same time, he began to wonder if it was too late to sign that contract with the wild again. he called his own coaches when he knew his father was at his brother’s practices, begged to be signed again, but they told him what they already knew: he was twenty six years old, practically geriatric. there likely wouldn’t be a professional team to sign him, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t still play his beloved (and loathed) sport, and maybe keep a bit of hope alive in his heart that he might, one day, still make it. everyone in the hockey community knows about kingscrest, colorado. it practically generated out ice sports stars as quickly as thunder bay did, and if there was any way he could possibly be scouted for one more final time, it was there. barely letting his parents in on his plan, lest they try to talk him out of it (or worse, support with oppressive enthusiasm), jude made his way to colorado, where he’s been for a year now. 

joining the knights, jude’s a mature player, and any hopes of being noticed or signed to any sort of professional team (god, how much he hated being in the minors, only to be begging christ to let him back on any team, even laval rocket) are kept secret and close to his heart. as far as his teammates know, he’s just an old guy enjoying the ice, reliving his glory days and being a stickler for the rules just as he did in peewee. the desire for perfection is something that he still feels, even if he tries everything in his power to avoid his father’s calls—lest he have to hear his father’s thoughts on the political landscape of america, despite being canadian, but jude already knows he’s not perfect. he knows that this is the end of the line, so he should milk it for everything it’s worth, but the thought of the future is even scarier. once he’s too old to play, his many injuries over the years finally catching up with his body, what else is there to do? once hockey’s gone, what will jude have left?

he’s not perfect, he’s not righteous, he’s not the next gretzky or crosby. but he did make it, even if it was not the nhl. he made it farther than his father or his older brother ever did. he’s free from his father, living by himself and by his own rules, playing the game he’s loved for twenty two years. shouldn’t that be good enough for him? shouldn’t that be perfect?

like every hockey player ever, hockey’s all he talks about. all he thinks about, really. like... constantly. i mean constantly. he really doesn’t have much of a personality outside of it, but it’s not really his fault bc he was taught to be like that by his father.

speaking of his dad. phew. major dad issues for this kid. the voice in his head is his father’s, not his own. has a lot of weird shame about the most random things, and some not-so-random things.

isn’t a virgin, but he acts like one, because he doesn’t want to seem dirty and #sinful, but he’s also just weird and awkward around women... and guys too. just everyone.

sweet but angsty. has a lot of regrets, but doesn’t like to talk about it much. hates being one of the older guys on the team, but he put himself there, and it’s like either be old af or not be on the team at all. doesn’t want to end up like his brother that quit just to sell cars back in the bay.

not actively religious, but still seems like a conservative good ol’ boy because he wears sweaters tucked in WITH a belt. not as innocent as he seems, but still pretty innocent and a little weird. wasn’t homeschooled but kinda seems like he was?

an encyclopedia of hockey rules and super annoying about it. will tattletale on you to the refs if he sees you Being Naughty on the ice, no matter what team you’re on. he’s good to have around if you wanna get an opposing player into the penalty box because if you alert him to it, he’ll go snitch immediately. love my goody two shoes!!

a sales associate at the armory, like half of the team. thinks it may make him look better to the coaches, but also just needs a job. his dad will only pay half, that’s right HALF!!, of his rent so jude works to catch up with that and have very little money on the side. whatever, he still gets to skate, so he should be happy. right? right?!

somewhat dumb, just because he was never encouraged to be smart by his father, just an obedient follower and an obsessive hockey player. can do simple math, but ask him about algebra and he’ll just get annoyed and walk away. 

wanted connections:

fellow teammates: jude plays for the knights, so gimme good friends and better enemies! people he’s competitive with, people he helps/mentors, people he straight up can’t stand or people that can’t stand him.

figure skating friends (and enemies): jude has never been the figure skating type, but he thinks its pretty cool that they can do spins and stuff. he respects the artistry, but still feels a sort of competitiveness with them just from the nature of being two ice sports. so give me friends that he can cheer on, enemies he can roll his eyes at, etc!

just friends in general: he’s a pretty sad boi and very earnest, so he needs someone to chat with! either it can be superficial or maybe they’re close confidants, up to you. :)

roommates: jude rents an apartment in east vale, and while he’s used to being such a canadian WASP, he’s somewhat cut off financially from his parents and needs someone around to help pay the bills. plus he gets lonely at night! can’t sleep in an empty house!!

ex-girlfriend(s): jude’s only been in town for a year and a few months, but that’s enough time to date around. likely this relationship didn’t work out because jude has a lot of hangups about relationships and shame, and his body/sex in general, but there are probably other factors such as that he’s really obsessive about hockey and actually really, really bitter deep down. 22+

[loyalflutist]

Fodlan Holy Grail War (Chapter 1)

Characters present: Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Hubert, Ferdinand, Petra, Dorothea, Bernadetta, Caspar, Linhardt, Ingrid, Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, Mercedes, Annette, Ashe, Leonie, Lorenz, Lysithea, Raphael, Ignatz, Hilda, Marianne, Rhea, Flayn, Seteth, Catherine, Hanneman, Manuela, Byleth Pairings: Felix x Annette, slight Hilda x Marianne, very slight Edelgard x f!Byleth (Edeleth)

A/N: So... this is a lengthy chapter... and I didn’t expect to become lengthy. Most of my old chapters in my old series range between 3k - 5k maximum. This? It was 6.8k+. It burnt me out, lol. However, I had fun sticking as many characters as I possibly can for the first chapter! Hope you all enjoy this. :) I had fun writing it. 

Previous Chapter: Prologue Next Chapter: Chapter 1

----

“I hope my kid gets in.”

“He’s a commoner. You know they only enlist the richest of the rich.”

“Are you sure about that? There are some students who aren’t from nobility.”

“Yeah, but they have to have a Crest.”

“That’s wrong.”

“No, you’re wrong. They need to have the Crest.”

“My daughter will find a worthy partner!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why not just marry her off to some rich noble?”

“My grandchildren’s future would be secured if they get in.”

“I can finally find a worthy opponent.”

“I’ll never get in…”

“Cheers!”

Commoners and nobilities mingled and exchanged powerful wishes and lamentations unto each other. Whether they spoke to those that wear their aromatic perfumes in large dosage or to those that wore nothing more than tattered rags, they chirped and frolicked like birds. It was as if a festival bloomed in all three nations simultaneously. Celebrations and haughty statements were tossed around like playthings. Anxiety and tears shed from the inevitable truths. Anticipations gnawed at their mangled souls.

Everyone knew what this month entails. Every five years, on the Guardian Moon (January), a letter from the archbishop would be sent to prospective students throughout the continent. Wings fluttered about over the population. Bells chimed in the background to signal the start of sunset. Stray feathers lazily descended upon the land from the orange sky. Children would squeal and leap, their hands outstretched to catch the pure object, the adults staring intently at the flock like predators. Many elders sunk to their knees, their clasped hands violently trembled, prayers muttered with incredible speed.

All for an invitation to Garreg Mach Monastery.

Its name easily rolls off from one’s tongue. Not more than 50 years had passed when the holy institution was instated as an academy for the continent, yet it managed to pridefully puff its chest. It is a prestigious academy so many yearned to attend. Only the best of the best was considered. After all, the monastery welcomed its gifted students with open arms for opportunities they would never get anywhere else. Future leaders and heroic warriors were products of the school’s program. Not a single student dropped out of each academic term. Everything must glisten in gold. Accepting mediocrity would sully their pristine image.

The Adrestian Empire, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and the Leicester Alliance were invited to send over their best civilians. Letters were mailed out by white owls to potential candidates; details about the invitations and academic programs sunk its sweet tooth into their recipients.

“Looks like things are about to get serious,” the brown-haired grinned, his scroll crinkled in his grip. He glanced at the wide-eyed bird. Still smiling, he slid over to his right, his hand outstretched to the thin utensil. “It doesn’t hurt to spend five years in training.”

It was as if he had outlined his course of action down cold. Hesitation was never his middle name, anyway. Past the basked warmth of his private quarters, into the corridor, Hilda peered from the corner like a Peeping Tom. Hark, she was not the only person guilty! Various members arched their neck, their head, their ears craving for delicious news.

Claude von Riegan snagged a nearby feathered pen on his desk. The young lad dipped its tip into an inkpot and fluidly circled his response on the smoothed letter. His wrist haphazardly flicked within seconds for a signature.

Submission of his response granted him the role of House Leader for the Golden Deer House from the Leicester Alliance. Hilda, Raphael, Ignatz, Marianne, Lysithea, Leonie, and Lorenz were chosen by the Church of Seiros to follow him that fateful day.

“My Lord, will you be going?”

Another young male held the letter. He shifted the crinkled paper, his bright hues aimed at his closest friend. Dedue’s inquiry caused a soft hum to sing from the blonde. At that same moment, the owl tilted its head, a soft coo harmonic.

“I will,” he twirled the feathered pen, his lips firmed, and his voice solemn. “If this will let me redeem the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus to its former glory, then I will attend.”

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd pressed his utensil unto the thick parchment. There was a circular motion of his wrist, and, shortly afterward, zig-zagged it for a signature.

Submission of his response granted him the role of House Leader for the Blue Lions House from the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, Ashe, Dedue, Mercedes, and Annette were chosen by the Church of Seiros to follow him that fateful day.

“Everything is falling in place,” the white-haired grimaced, her fingertips unsteadily smoothing amongst the moist palms. “I must accept the invitation.”

“Are you certain, Lady Edelgard?”

Hubert stood in her shadows. No— he is her shadow. His second posture flickered in time with the lonesome candle. She completely unfolded the scroll to the owl’s supervision. The feathered ally blinked once. She nodded. Then, the young gentleman rested a hand on his chest, the darkness discoloring the smooth beauty of his porcelain pale skin. He bowed deeper than any loyal retainer would to their lord.

Edelgard von Hresvelg stroked the application with grace and delicacy. Weaves danced upon the page in a singular motion of her wrist.

Submission of her response granted her the role of House Leader for the Black Eagles House from the Adrestian Empire. Dorothea, Petra, Hubert, Ferdinand, Caspar, Linhardt, and Bernadette were chosen by the Church of Seiros to follow her that fateful day.

Everything has been set into stone. Owls hooted their final call to the upcoming students, their wings flapped in tempo. Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude watched from high above, their pupils directed at the glistening land. The white bird was soon nothing more than a dot in the vast, orange sky. They shifted the weight on their feet, their grip tightening on the opened window's edge, their eyelids fluttered from the pleasant breeze flowing parts of their locks, all conducted simultaneously in a symphony. Now, the students must wait for the Great Tree Moon (April).

-----

Harpstring Moon (May). It has been one month since their arrival; one month at the famous Garreg Mach Monastery. Lengthy orientations and settlement were slowing to a standstill. Booming chatters and flurried excitement comfortably dipped into dignified and refined tranquility. Almost everyone had familiarized themselves with their surroundings and colleagues. Those that did not would quickly catch up.

Lady Rhea, standing in her bedroom, slowly exhaled. Birds chirped in volumes that penetrated the glassed barrier, their small bodies soaring to everlasting freedom. Tis’ the season for Spring to reach the finishing line. Their eventual retirement would pave way for the new, blistering season. She blinked. Both of her hands were raised, fingers intertwined, palms impressed, and head lowered; her silent prayers ushered into nothingness.

“Lady Rhea, how are you faring?”

Seteth stood at the doorway. Rigidity colored his posture, his bright hues gently lay to rest upon the holy maiden’s figure, to which it was drummed with the afternoon heat. She remained still and unmoving from her prayer. The same could not be said about her thin lips, its movement as casual as it could get.

“You need not worry about me, Seteth, but I am well.”

“I see.”

“How are the students?”

The songs from those birds increased in frequency. Melodies tinkered to their eardrums, their notes bouncing about within their heart, their natural passion embracing their souls. Seteth smiled in response.

“Noisy as ever.”

He could only use euphemism to describe it all.

The first month was beyond hectic. “Noisy” hardly captured the real image. Light tremors reverberated throughout the monastery. Overwhelming energy eradicated the lonesome premise once home to mere foot soldiers and bodyguards. Everyone had their eyes on each other. Crow’s feet were an epidemic as they exchanged formal greetings; some informal, such as Mercedes and Annette, where friendly hugs and kisses were given and received. An aromatic smoke wafted from the large cafeteria, sucking the population’s majority into its already-crowded site, the hopes of alleviating the chaos from outside.

“H-Hey! Linhardt, why aren’t you letting me grab thirds?!” Caspar’s reach trembled, his sight glued to the meaty target. “I’m really hungry!”

“Did you forget that there are other students in line after you?” Linhardt shook his head. “We need to leave some for them.”

“It’s a first-come, first-serve basis.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I’m going to starve!”

“You will not.”

“Yes, I will!”

“I suggest you change your eating habits then. It won’t hurt missing one drumstick from your diet.”

“LINHARDT!”

It is unfortunate traffic began to jam from the inside, its chaotic nature having shifted to a new location.

“Oi, are you both done yet?”

Felix felt his vein bulge from his head, his piercing eyes sparing no one. His metallic tray gloried its empty content before the bickering duo. Their shoulders slumped as their jaws clamped. Caspar would normally argue. It was his nature to counter a sharp response with another sharp response, albeit slightly weaker. Yet his blood stiffened at the sight. Linhardt shook his head again.

“Oh dear… It’s time we find a seat.”

An apology was delivered swiftly to his doorstep and they promptly removed themselves from the counter. The young male rubbed a couple of fingers against his temple, a huff escaping.

“Thank God they’re gone. They’re so annoying.”

“Felix, you shouldn’t say that!” Annette popped her head in with a bow. She gazed upon the sword-wielder with puffed cheeks. “Besides, they’re just getting food.”

“They were holding up the line, Ann.”

“You could’ve asked them politely.”

“Well, it’s too late for that now.”

“I think you should change your scary expression.”

“Oh, really?”

“I admit, it’s not as scary as Dimitri, but you should really smile more often.”

He scoffed. Felix plopped a chunk of sliced steak onto his newly placed plate riddled with greeneries and bread. His eyes slanted, turned towards Annette, and proceeded to drop a large quantity of meat onto her plate, despite her earlier objections.

“I would never be like the Boar Prince.”

“If you say so. I still think you should smile more in public.”

“…”

“Felix?”

“Annette,” the two have stepped away from the elongated counter, swooped down to press his lips upon her cheek. It left a tingly aftermath on Annette’s rosy cheeks, her feet tangled from an accidental crooked misstep. Felix freed one hand and intercepted her fall. Their faces were in short proximity, their breaths puffed amongst each other’s skin. Flames sharply ignited their skin with a roar as he whispered, “I want to shower you and only you with my smiles.”

“F-Felix…”

“Wow~ Take it to the bedroom, you two.”

Felix and Annette snapped their heads up. Seated from one of the table’s end, Leonie, Hilda, Marianne, and Ashe watched the two interact. Hilda smirked, her tongue holding no restraint. Besides her, the weary blue-haired student anxiously tugged on the pink-haired’s sleeve. Inaudible utters tumbled out of her parted lips, her pleas unheard by the female. As for Ashe and Leonie, they did their best to eat in silence, yet their ears perked for worthwhile events. Felix narrowed his eyes.

“You got a lot of nerve saying that to us, Hilda.”

“Felix—”

“Relax, Ann, I’m not going to hurt her.”

He approached the sitting Golden Deer. Though his hands were occupied, his mouth was not, and he happily made use of it. Verbiage intent on reprimanding filled the silent void Hilda purposely created. She plopped her chin on the palm of her hand, unblinking, and possibly bored out of her mind. Hilda did not bother to stifle her yawn either, letting it loose for the whole world to witness. Marianne felt parts of her soul fly out of her body, and dread shadowed over her eyes.

“Hilda, please apologize to him…” Marianne pleaded, her tugs becoming more apparent. “We… don’t want to cause trouble again…”

“Again…?” Annette raised a brow. “It’s only the first day we’ve been here.”

“Um… well… We accidentally broke a merchant’s axe…”

“How so?”

“Hil— I…. crashed into it—”

“Marianne! It was me, silly!” Hilda had done a complete 180 and swerved her attention to the shorter female. The energy that lay dormant bubbled to the surface, her arms pulling her friend into a tight embrace. Marianne felt her strength wither as her eyes widened. The sensation of her weight was still in her arms as Hilda glanced over at Annette. “It was me. I broke it. Not her.”

“…really?”

“Yes! I actually broke it with my bare hand!”

“Are you sure you aren’t covering up for her—”

“I. Did. It.”

“Hey! Why are you ignoring me!?”

“Pipe down, Felix,” Leonie waved her fork. “I’m trying to eat here!”

“Oi, Hilda started it!”

“And you continued!”

“Why are people so— You know what? Nevermind.”

“Hah? Could you elaborate on your unfinished statement?”

“I think this conversation is over, comrade.”

“Fine!”

Felix and Leonie fumed. Imaginary puffs of air emanated the dramatists. Soap opera would want to take note of their interactions for the next spectacular feature. Ashe began to laugh after settling the metallic mug onto the table.

“It sure is lively.”

“Lively? I think it’s outright noisy.”

The orange-haired promptly slugged his shoulder. Ashe ran out of language, incoherent sound effects elicited, and his hand furiously rubbing the affected area. His endurance is above average. He had an innate ability to run longer, burn faster, and bear far more than an ordinary boy similar in age and stature. If given the chance, his splendors would be renowned at the monastery. Yet he underestimated the power of a person called “Leonie.”

“Ow… You don’t hold your punches back, do you?”

“Why should I?”

“…”

Women are scary! Leonie especially! Such prowess that bundled and coiled in the young girl… How is that possible!? Sweat flew from his head dramatically as Leonie jabbed her fork into another piece of protein, its squelch muted from the rowdy setting. Felix fingers ran through his black hair, Annette appearing back by his side and pulling on his arm.

Ignatz and Raphael, who sat on the opposite end, pinned their gaze upon the small group. Flailing of arms, subjectless exclamations, and unnecessary lamentations painted the group as a form of entertainment.

“Ignatz, you think they’ll ever stop?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Why can’t they take it out on the training ground? I heard it’s good for sparring.”

The young boy shrugged his shoulders. As if on cue, the level of noise had risen. Vocals were lost amidst the background, his lips moving without sound.

“— - –—"

It went on for a couple of seconds, hinting of its lengthy content. Raphael was unable to grasp any of them; not a single peep was grasped and stuffed into his eardrums. He leaned forward, his muscular chest pressed upon the extended furniture, and tried to hear his artsy friend.

“——-—"

Raphael frowned. Under normal circumstances, one would speak up. This was not the case for the mighty brawn.

In contrast to their curiosity, Mercedes and Ferdinand could not bear to look. The mantle of responsible dependency rest over the duo’s shoulders.

“This is turning out to be a lively first day,” Mercedes giggled, her spoon scooping bits of the honeyed porridge. She tucked a stray strand behind her ear, her long eyelashes fluttering. “I hope it will stay this way for a long time.”

“It will happen if you strongly believe in it,” Ferdinand motioned.

His absurd confidence resonated in her heart, the healer shooting a glance. An amused hum stroked his taste buds once he took another bite from the salad bowl, oblivious to the probing gaze. She tilted her head. There had to be discrepancies with his proclamations and reality. Mercedes is a devout believer for religion and charity, but even she knows about the harsh conditions real-life posed.

“How could you be so sure?”

“Because I am Ferdinand von Aegir.”

“…oh! I… see.”

Did she expect something deeper from him?

“…”

He beamed. She reciprocated with a beam of her own. Maybe she was asking too much from him.

Nearby the four eaters, a black shadow zipped by. None of them had sensed the abnormality. Another shadow scurried after the first foreigner. That was when their sight and auditory senses kicked in.

“Was that Sylvain?” Raphael blinked. “What’s he doing?”

“I’m not too sure… It’s probably not something good, knowing him.”

“You think so too, Ferdinand?”

“I can attest to that, fufu~”

A shudder ran down Ignatz’s spine. “Y-You’re kind of scaring me, Mercedes…”

“PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Students standing and nestled near one of the four doorways nearly went into cardiac arrest, their hands immediately resting over the wildly thumping organ. Glares and bewilderment shot at the fatigued girl. Bernadetta had burst from the cafeteria. Under normal circumstances, she would cower from their dagger-like stares. However, their eyes were the least of her problems…

“W-Where… Where can I go?!”

She had to run. She had to hide. She had to disappear.

Hot behind her trail was Sylvain. The young noble tossed his hand out to the doorway’s border. He grunted, his firm fingers curled inward, and swung his body out into the open with a sharp turn.

“Bernadetta!” he hollered. “Come back here, will you!?”

The fluttering of loose-leaf papers threatened to fly away like a bird from his grip, an entrapped victim desiring for release. Sylvain’s fast feet neared the writer, but he was careless. Smooth as the road may be, the pathways were littered with specks of debris, with some large enough to warrant a red flag.

“WHOA!”

He stumbled forward. Life danced before his eyes, Sylvain’s arms frantically mimicking wings, his frail balance with gravity fractured. Sweat poured from his pores and his breath hitched. Multiple half-steps pitter and pattered in front of one another while incoherent outcries sputtered. By the time he reconnected with the earth by kissing its pavement, the papers had all flown away to its yearnful freedom.

Bells chimed throughout the academic ground as tens of scribbled sheets scattered the clear blue sky. Day owls hooted, its wide eyes estimating the distance of its haphazard counterpart during its flight. Five of the wonderful creatures flapped and urged forward into the open plane.

High above the training ground, they traveled with sporadic battle shouts emitted from Ingrid and Petra. Two partners clunk and smacked their wooden sword.

“Haaaaah—!”

Petra swung the blunt end down. Ingrid immediately adjusted her posture, her knees bent, and her right foot slid backward. The knight raised her weapon vertically.

‘ CLUNK! ‘

Comma sweats crawled down to her chin as Ingrid felt her wrist creak. Petra’s feet returned back to earth, but not without applying an extra layer of pressure onto her opponent’s wooden sword, her arms shoved forward with a grunt. Ingrid nearly bit her lower lip, a tiny lump traveling down her throat. The Brigid princess is strong.

“Take this!”

The knight instantly reduced her strength. Petra’s figure lurched forward from the unexpected loss of equilibrium, her stability with gravity disrupted. Ingrid sidestepped to provide room for her fall. She elegantly twirled the training wood at hand and thrust it outward to “stab” Petra.

“Oh my gosh…” Dorothea watched from the distant, her hand covering her mouth. Petra had twisted her body enough during the collapse to avoid the assault. The songstress clutched her chest, small clumps of her brown hair clung to her moist forehead. “This is so stressful to watch.”

The two wonderful ladies sparred to test their might and the two had asked Dorothea to be the judge. But… who should she cheer for? Petra came from her house, but Ingrid was always there for her since the day they stepped foot. It didn’t help that they were both a beauty. Luscious hair, bountiful maturity, toned figures, delicate fleeting touches— Wait, why was she thinking about that?! She underwent her own mighty battle as the clunking of the wooden blades continuously overlapped.

Surprisingly, not one page had descended upon the monastery’s ground. The owls gave another hoot. High above the marketplace, they traveled and Lysithea, Lorenz, Hubert, and Dedue stood amongst the growing crowd.

“Ugh, I think that’s unfashionable,” Lorenz shook his head, his hand resting on his forehead. “I would expect better from you.”

“That’s rude to say that to them!” Lysithea elbowed the taller male. She furrowed her brows. “You know they’ve traveled far out here to sell their goods. Give them a break.”

“Unfortunately, if they were passionate, their products wouldn’t like this.”

“Lorenz!”

“It belongs in the U-category for ugliness.”

Unfortunately for the two, the merchant they were squabbling in front of began to see red. His shaky hands extended outward to the broom. The still shadow of fury washed over his eyes, his wooden stick slapped the stall’s pole. Both visitors felt beads of sweat fly out of their heads at the newfound sight. Death rarely crossed their minds, but today was one of them.

“It was nice visiting your shop, mister!”

Lorenz was about to follow the praising Lysithea when— oopsie! He was shoved towards the furious owner! A shriek slipped out after a narrow escape from certain doom, the stick walloped the ground mere centimeters from bodily contact.

“LYSITHEA!”

Hubert and Dedue glanced over to the rowdy Golden Deer.

“My, how unpleasant,” Hubert grumbled. He snapped shut one of the two spellbooks in his hands. “If Lady Edelgard would be disturbed by these silly activities, I would have to do something about it.”

“I object,” Dedue crossed his arms. “I understand where you are coming from, but that is not the correct way to serve your lord.”

“Excuse me, did I ask for your opinion.”

“No, but it is something I had to say.”

Hubert narrowed his eyes. “I think it would be wise for you to keep your opinion to yourself, Dedue.”

“…”

Dedue resisted the temptation to sigh. Out of all the students he had met, he knew they would have a rickety relationship. Perhaps they will never see eye-to-eye, and perhaps that will never happen. Nonetheless, their upmost loyalty to their lord was commendable. Hubert respected Dedue for serving Dimitri, and Dedue respected Hubert for serving Edelgard.

Past the students, more students arrived from all three nations like little ants through the gate. The gatekeeper’s cheerful “Welcome!” brightened their spirit for their new life. They were going to spend the next five years working, challenging, learning, loving, and forging bonds. It was an opportunity not many were granted.

They came in all different sizes and shapes. Some were from nobility. They were given special treatment by the Church, their accommodations sate the high-leveled expectations for their living conditions. Many possess some form of Crest, whether it be minor or major. Some were commoners. They were given resources by the Church, their accommodations sate their basic necessities for their living conditions. Very few possess any form of Crest.

House leaders were handpicked and determined by the archbishop, Lady Rhea, since day one. Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, and Claude von Riegan would act as this academic term’s house leaders.

Edelgard von Hresvelg would become house leader for the Black Eagles.

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd would become house leader for the Blue Lions.

Claude von Riegan would become house leader for the Golden Deer.

“And so… we meet again, Dimitri,” Edelgard lowered her teacup. She sat opposite of the blonde, her lilac hues keeping tabs on his every action. “Though I cannot say I didn’t expect this.”

“I agree,” Dimitri chuckled. “Since you did not return to my kingdom, I predicted this might happen. You’ve changed though…”

“In what way?”

“Your hair—”

“That might be for another time.”

The abrupt cut off slashed hard. Dimitri blinked a couple of times in silence, his teacup returned to the clothed mat. Loveliest of all trees ruffled from overhead as a breeze smoothed their exposed skin. He lowered his eyes, a heavy weight nestled between his shoulder blades.

“Perhaps another time.”

Though silence should have followed, Claude intertwined his fingers, chin rested on them, elbows on the table, and tilted his head.

“What shouldn’t be saved for another time is how you both know each other. Spill me the tea.”

“I don’t know, Claude,” Dimitri bitterly smiled. “It’s a long story.”

“I agree. It might sour our teatime session too.”

“Aw, you’re both no fun,” the young man smirked. “Why not tell me? I promise to tell you something in exchange.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know… Maybe about my past too.”

“Hoh… That’s quite a trade.”

“Trust me. Here, I’ll give you a little snippet, free of charge,” Claude straightened his posture and coughed into his fist. “Not too long ago, I bumped into two fabulous people. They were of nobility, yet they seem to know each other.”

“Claude…”

“One was a cute little princess, and one was a grumpy looking prince.”

“Claude.”

“And I hope we could become good friends.”

“CLAUDE.”

Edelgard and Dimitri overlapped, their cheeks flushed. Claude placed his hands behind his head and winked.

“It’s a good story, don’t you think?”

-----

Now, a month scampered forward, to where Seteth, Rhea, Flayn, and Catherine stood inside of the holy church ground. Seteth was bent down, his fingers brushing black ink on the pristine surface, faint squeaks occasionally cracking the still atmosphere. Flayn bent forward in a similar fashion, hands behind her back, and observing the process. Those paired bright hues, accompanied by a smile, flickered between her older brother and the ritual drawings.

“I’m excited to see who the new professors and staff are.”

Garreg Mach Monastery had a tradition every five years: the Garreg Summoning Ritual. Led by the Church of Seiros and its headmaster, Lady Rhea, this was one of the many options to tackle economical strategies. Funds from the Church were finite; there was only so much their nails could scrape in from donations. So they turned their heads towards a new shining beacon.

Three students from nobility, who would naturally become house leaders, were invited to complete the mandatory summoning ritual. Being chosen as house leaders were not an easy feat. The students had to derive from a long legacy of lineage fit to rise to the role. A large quantity of magical energy, called mana, was required to fulfill their position. This was so they can summon their professors.

Unlike other academic institutions, Rhea expressed this unique tradition for over 50 years. The act of calling forth their instructor would help bolster the students’ performances with a teacher fit for their personalities, attitudes, and beliefs. It was the perfect substitution for conducting costly background checks and hiring of adjuncts and tenures.

“To be honest, Flayn, I’m a little worried who they will be. I still cannot get over the fact one of the students summoned a thief!”

“He was stealing a lot of our supplies, wasn’t he?”

“Unfortunately.”

“If I hadn’t caught him, the church would have been in a pinch.”

Seteth paused. He glanced up from the fresh circle, his chuckle apparent. Catherine, on the sideline, cracked her knuckles.

“I would’ve pummeled him if it weren’t for Flayn.” No moral restraint… a rather prominent feature in very few warriors like her. “The fact that he would take Lady Rhea’s belongings deserved more than a simple execution.”

So long as it was in the name of Lady Rhea, she would chop up her limbs and offer it up to the holy maiden.

“I am certain that would not happen again.” Rhea stepped forward once Seteth rose from his crouch. “I have prayed to the Goddess for good fortune. I can sense that this year will be one that will forever be remembered.”

Catherine’s knuckles suddenly whitened, her grip tightening on the relic’s handle, and jawlines outlined from the smell of fresh meat purifying the distilled air. The double doors creaked. Sharp eyes penetrated the sturdy chests of the incoming house leaders. Claude and Dimitri each pushed one half of the majestic, tall barrier, Edelgard walking between the tall boys. It was picturesque.

Seteth and Flayn returned to Rhea’s side as the archbishop silently motioned her hand down to Catherine. A grunt as she eased her hold, but not without a displeased exhale. The top-ranking Knight served under the name of Seiros stepped back. Her eyes had not left the three students, however.

Archbishop bowed.

“Greetings, House Leaders. I hope you have familiarized yourself with the Officers Academy.”

“I think we’ve had plenty to check around,” Claude said. “One month is enough to make us experts for any visitors.”

His jokes were not received— Rather, Rhea rolled over and onward from his witty remark. She slowly looked at the marked ground.

“I have also requested that you participate in the Garreg Summoning Ritual. You all were required to bring three items that you wish to use for the tradition.”

Then, she returned her gaze to the trio.

“You will be their Master and they will be your Servant. But you will refer to them as your Professor.” Her eyes were crinkled. “Are you prepared?”

Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard nodded. Their silence following afterward notion the archbishop to beckon them forth.

“Best wishes, my children. May the Goddess watch over you.”

One at a time, they stood in front of the archaic circle, their hands and pockets filled. Compatibility may play a heavy influence on their soulful incantations, but the students’ chosen objects held some degree of control over who their professor would be. They exchanged glances. The question now lies if Lady Luck would bestow her magic for them.

The first to stand is Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. He pieced the three chosen objects with great care upon the circular design. A monocle, a parchment on tactics, and blood from a dying boar preyed the markings. His vial had tipped upside down after a complete stride. Dimitri stuffed the stained glass into his pocket, the metallic iron smeared his and his friends’ olfactory. The Prince of Faerghus raised his hand.

Stanza after stanza riddled the tense environment. Sky blue light illuminated beneath his feet, a gust of wind swirled around the noble, his navy cape flapping in the air. Searing heat crackled into the back of his hand, his brows scrunched, and his stifled cries noticeable. Dimitri’s chants maintain stability. There would be no interruption that would snaffle his delivery.

Bright light blinded everyone on the premise. Edelgard and Claude were forced to shield with their arms, their eyelids squeezed shut for good measures. Catherine, Seteth, and Flayn grimaced from it. Rhea calmly stood out with her holy demeanor. The entire church disappeared for a few seconds from their sight, the sky blue blanketed their vision.

Fine mist surrounded a tall man. The summoned Servant stroke his gray beard, his monocle glistening in-sync with the sunrays, and his thick coat covering all parts of his body, leaving very little room for skin exposure. He spotted the panting Dimitri, the mark of the command seal tattooed on his burning skin. Little attention was given to the others as the elder chuckled.

“So, it appears that I have been summoned by a young gentleman.” He bowed deeply. “I am Hanneman, Archer class.”

“An Archer, huh… You don’t look like one.”

“You think so?” Hanneman cupped his chin. “Then again, you speak of the truth. I am well-versed in the art of magic. As you can tell, I am nothing more than a scholar when I was alive.”

Dimitri nodded, his shaky hands coming to a standstill. It appears that the person he had summoned was not meant to be summoned into this class.

“Yikes… That’s one heck of an L you’re gonna have to take,” Claude shook his head. This bemused the new professor. Yet Dimitri responded in his place.

“I find possibilities where others see limitations, Claude. This is a gift from the Goddess.”

That earned Dimitri a whistle. The Golden Deer House Leader smiled—genuinely in fact—it stroked the blonde’s heart to a slight flutter!

“You might be right… this might be an impressive result in the end.”

Seteth proceeded to cleanse the circle in preparation for Claude as they continued their conversation. Edelgard, who had remained mute, stared down at the palms of her hands. They were violently trembling as if an earthquake descended. Was it from her nerves? She instinctively curled her fingers inward and jammed her nails. In the background, Dimitri pat Claude’s shoulder as he was next in line.

Claude von Riegan took out his belonging. A wooden flute, a package of herbal medicine, and an alcohol bottle. The first two objects held the least shock value compared to the third for both Dimitri and Edelgard. When they expressed wonderment, Claude responded with a playful tone, his hand cautiously spilling the alcoholic content.

“Random chance. I have a feeling this is going to go well.”

“I don’t think you should be horsing around with this…”

“Relax, Dimi, I got this.”

He mimicked his friend’s action after settling the empty container on the ground. Hand extended outward, his lips parted, and golden light circulated the ritual. The wind blew into their figures once again as his chants became louder. Compared to Dimitri, he was able to bear through the flaming sharpel from the forceful engraving of the command seal for the most part.

This time, the newcomer was a woman. Dressed to impress, her beauty radiating in conjunction with her angelic voice, the Servant boasts her skillsets to the witnesses.

“I am Manuela. Songstress, physician, Caster class, and available, I look forward to working with you, Claude.”

Boastful? Perhaps, but Claude sees the positive trait from it. Though some may think otherwise.

“How haughty.”

An unusual remark from Hanneman. Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard diverted their attention to the older male, his features tinged with displeasure. Manuela felt a strong pulsation from the corner of her head. The Caster opened her mouth, paused, then clamped it close. She dryly swallowed and waved her hand.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Hanneman. Wouldn’t want to look back in front of my new Master.”

Claude felt a nervous chortle erupt from his throat. His and Dimitri’s Servants are going to have a field day with each other… Their eyes shifted to the quiet female. Not a peep from the princess. Her nerves must have gotten the best of her, her figure stiff as a stick. They wonder… what could make her so nervous?

Their pondering continued as Seteth wiped and swept the remaining materials from the ritual. Rhea motioned once more for the final summoner. Edelgard inhaled deeply. She held it. Then, she exhaled.

Finally, it was Edelgard von Hresvelg’s turn. In her grasp were three items. Just like Dimitri and Claude, they were special in their own way. They picked it with careful consideration. For Edelgard, she had found these materials from the Red Canyon. Ferdinand and Hubert had accompanied her for the abrupt trip. Compared to Claude and Dimitri, she felt a strong, magnetic pull to the location. It was almost as if it were calling for her.

A rustic piece from a shattered sword, a torn patch from a dark overcoat, and… that was it.

“Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation Let my great Master Hresvelg be the ancestor”

Rhea widened her eyes when she spotted the white-haired unsheathing the dagger from behind.

“Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.”

Its slithering blade shone as Edelgard brought it high above her head. Catherine reached for her sword, her wrist prepared.

“I hereby declare Your body shall serve under me.”

The tip moved in a curvature. A crimson line was left in its wake, the blood oozing out of her self-infliction.

“My fate shall be your sword.”

She tilted her hand despite the throbbing aches scratching underneath her cut.

“Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail If you will submit to this will and this reason… Then answer!”

Gentle vermillion light encapsulated everyone present. Its rays brightened with each drip of her blood, her offering sating the slumbering Servant. At that same moment, a fiery ignition dragged burning hot iron on the back of her hand. Edelgard bit back a whimper. She grabbed ahold of her extended wrist with pinched features.

“An oath shall be sworn here! I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell!”

A gust far more powerful than that from previous sessions threatened to fling the students away. Seteth and Catherine had embraced Flayn and Rhea respectively, their feet rooted to the vibrating floors. Dimitri and Claude struggled to keep afoot. Their narrowed eyes peered through the slits as Edelgard forced herself upright. The grip that kept her wrist in place squeezed until her blood circulation drastically slowed.

“From the Heaven, attended to by three great words of power Come forth from the ring of restraints, Protector of the Holy Balance!”

Just like Dimitri and Claude’s session, white light enveloped their five senses.

“…”

Smoke lingered in the air, but at the center of the summoning circle, no one had appeared. Everyone waited with bated breaths. Seconds transitioned into a minute. The silence was all that resulted. She glanced down at the back of her injured hand. The aching red mark resembling that of an unknown Crest seared into her skin. Yet this excruciating process yielded no Servant.

“…why?”

Edelgard sunk to her knees.

Had she failed? Was this all a fluke in the end? Edelgard groveled at the tainted ground, her magma-red blood engulfing the entirety of her wounded palm in its flames. The command seal was still present. What did she do wrong? Tears spurted from her lacrimal glands, those salty substances hurried to separate from her skin and onto the flat surface. Claude and Dimitri exchanged worrisome glances.

“Edelgard…”

“Princess…”

They approached the withered youngster. They stood nearby but found the inability to engage sympathetically. After all, their Servants lingered from behind. The boys were able to call forth their professor, and Edelgard was unable to. They would never be able to understand her anguish.

“This isn’t fair…” she hoarsely whispered. “Did I do… Is this karma?”

“Karma? Don’t be silly,” Dimitri shook his head. He kneeled to her level and eyed the female. He was not sure what she meant by karma, but it crushed his heart to see his childhood friend defeated. “Your Professor might come. You still have your command seal.”

“That means nothing if they don’t appear.”

“Is this thing rigged?” Claude’s attention diverted to the older adults. He motioned towards the weeping girl. “This isn’t supposed to mess up, right?”

Rhea shook her head. “This is the first that had happened before. All professors were able to be summoned the past nine times.”

“You didn’t have to include that last part, you know.”

“Hey, don’t speak to Lady Rhea like that, young man,” Catherine stepped forward and viciously pointed his finger. “Know your place.”

Claude huffed. He shrugged his shoulders and abandoned insanity. “I apologize. I’m a bit frustrated too for Edelgard—”

‘ BANG! ‘

It was immediately accompanied by a distant crackling of heavy logs tumbling on top of each other. Students and staff alike perked their ears. Claude and Dimitri immediately assisted in Edelgard’s recovery, their Servants swiftly turning to the source. Precautions were taken as their chosen Class weapons were pulled out. Catherine completely unsheathed her Thunderbrand, its electricity crackled and popped without restraint. Seteth shielded both Flayn and Rhea with his arms, his body ready to absorb any potential damages.

Once the dust had settled before them, they were greeted with a spectacular sight. The Goddess Seiros must have shone her lucky stars to the warrior. Stones and obliterated woods formed as a piece of disheveled furniture. Arms resting on the natural armrest, palm pressed on the Sword of Creator’s hilt, and cheek leaning on her elbowed hand, she slowly opened her eyes.

“…”

Could this be…? Edelgard’s jelly legs wobbled as she approached the arrogantly seated woman. The roles were reversed. Edelgard collapsed onto one knee, head raised to the female like a Servant as the Servant exerted regality like a Master. Navy hues dragged its gaze to the fallen. She examined the student with scrutiny.

“Your blood…” The newcomer had gotten up from her seat, kneeled, and instantly greeted the magus with a kiss on the gash. Normally, this would be viewed as romantic, but not a lick of emotion crossed. When she parted, sticky fluid clung to bits of her chin. “I’m bad at healing, but this is the least I could do.”

Perhaps this is part of an innate skill the Servant has. The shallow infliction had dissipated, leaving behind a bloody mess of leftover iron.

Then, she got up, sword still at hand. Edelgard watched in awe from below as the Servant quietly spoke,

“Byleth. Saber class. Tell me… are you my Master?"

[mentallyinwalmart]

Cressworth Modern Au- Dear Liza

I have a HC that even in a modern setting, Audrey Rose would still write letters to Liza when she was at Uni. Here are some of those letters throughout the first term of school~

Dear Liza,

Well the first week at Uni has been an absolute whirlwind. I miss father and uncle dearly (not to mention you of course). But I have made lots of new friends. You would love my roomate, Ileana. Noah from my anatomy class, and Anna from psychology are really cool too, and I feel lucky to have met such great people so early on. Noah and Anna are in my major study group, along with some stuck up bloke called Andrei and a few other people I don’t really know. It is a good group, all of us are very determined (though it is only the first week).

I have to tell you, Liza, the absolute funniest thing happened at orientation over the weekend. You remember Uncle’s summer intern? For the life of me I can’t remember his name, but, well he tripped coming down the steps to come over and greet uncle and I. I swear to you Liza, I almost died trying not to laugh out loud. Uncle says he is very bright, and that I will probably run into him at some point this term, seeing as he is in my same major, but so far, he seems to have disappeared. I spaced on asking uncle for his name, so it would seem perhaps I won’t encounter him again.

I am going to a party tonight, and I’m wearing that dress you made for me before I left. Ileana says I look ravishing, so cheers to you!

But enough about me, how is the school of design? How are your classes and flatmates? I want to know everything.

Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

The school of design is amazing! Paris is beautiful, and my flatmates are absolutely incredible! You must visit, because you would just die for the culture here. It is so different than home, even if it is just a train ride away.

Anna and Ileana sound just lovely. I think you’d get along swimmingly with my favorite flatmate Daciana. She has the most iconic grunge/vampy look, and it perfectly compliments my summer child vibe. We lovingly refer to one another as our “other halves”. I am dying for you to meet her. And perhaps one day soon you might! She has a brother who actually is enrolled at your school! I’ll be sure to ask if he’s the annoying Andrei. How funny would that be!

But anyway, Daci wants to take the train down to London to visit him in a few weeks time and unless something major happens between us in that time, I’m going to accompany her! It will be so wonderful, cousin!

But now that all that about me is out of the way, let’s talk about your encounter with Uncle’s (super hot) summer apprentice. WHAT LUCK AUDREY ROSE!!! I vividly remember the time the two of you met briefly, and how flustered you were when he walked away. Deny it all you want, but I know you were smitten.

If you see him again, I insist, for the sake of my romantic soul, that you speak to him, instead of laughing at him.

Love you, see you soon,

Liza

Ps- his name is Thomas you absolute fool

--

Dear Liza,

Before I get to my questions about Daci, and about the new aesthetic you’ve seemingly assigned yourself in the few short weeks we’ve been apart, I want to address how ridiculous your claims are.

I have zero feelings for Thomas. Except perhaps feelings of annoyance. True, I found him quite attractive when we met last summer, but i find plenty of people attractive without being “smitten” as you so foolishly put it.

And even if I had been over the summer (which I was not), it is surely gone after working with him this last week. Thomas was a surprise addition to my study group starting at the beginning of this week, and he has proven himself to be most insufferable.

Who has to be right all the time?

And dear Liza, I do not mean “stick to their guns even when they’re wrong” right, I mean, actually, genuinely correct, every damn time. It’s positively infuriating!

Now that we’ve established that the only thing I want between me and Thomas is a brick wall, tell me about your “summer child” aesthetic. Last time I saw you, you were neck deep in prep chic. What has changed?

Daci sounds positively lovely, and I cannot wait to meet her and to see you both.

Anna and I went on this unbelievable night hike last weekend, we went through the forest to the old ruins atop the hill. I’ll have to take you when you come to visit.

Ileana has a friend that goes to your school! She wouldn’t give me a name, saying since it’s such a small school she worries you’d know her, and is keeping her past girlfriends a secret from me ://

Hopefully someday soon I’ll get it out of her. It sounds like she was something special.

Love you, and I excitedly await your visit.

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First off, I am, and have always been, a summer child. It’s too grey in London for me to fully unleash it. But now here, in Paris, it is lively and warm enough for me to embrace who I really am. You just like to imagine I was a prep because your taste is not nearly refined enough to understand my unique look. (Love you cousin, even if you have the fashion sense of an old woman ;) )

I can’t believe I not only go to school with Ileana’s ex, but also the sister of someone at your school! It’s fate! I’m not sure yet if what kind, but it’s something.

As for Thomas, he sounds infuriating. But then again, isn’t “hot-but-annoying” exactly the criteria for a hate sex partner? I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to ditch the sweaters for something a little more showy and get yourself some action ;)

Love you, please don’t disown me for my foul mouth.

Kisses,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I made the mistake of reading this in the mail room right after I opened my post box.

And who should I smack right into as my face was burning so hot I was worried my blood may boil?

Thomas.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?!

Not that I care what he thinks of me, I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d run into anyone like that.

He asked what I was reading, and because I’m bad at making up lies, I panicked and just mumbled something about having to go.

He had the most infuriating smirk, I swear his already full lips probably doubled in size.

What an absolute buffoon.

Later that night I found him sitting in the (usually vacant) seat besides me in forensics. It’s such a big lecture, I didn’t even know he was in the class. I wasn’t about to ask him to move, even I’m not that harsh. He spent most of the class doodling around the edge of his notebook (he was the only one in the whole lecture who didn’t have a laptop) and yet somehow, he always had the best theories.

Though I don’t like him, I plan to glean everything I can from having him as a new seat mate. He is quite intelligent, but more than that he can insert himself into the situations. It’s fascinating the way his mind works, I intend to steal that trait from him.

As for trading in my sweaters? I will never. They are my truest love. And as for hate sex? Absolutely not. I’m not letting someone I hate be my first time.

Love, your fashion forward cousin,

Audrey Rose

--

My Dearest (fashionably challenged) cousin,

So what you’re saying, is if it wasn’t your first time, you would take the handsome Thomas straight to bed? You little slut.

Daci and I have set a date for our trip. It is to be two weeks from tomorrow, for neither of us have classes on fridays. We will take the evening train, and be with you by midnight!

Her brother is to pick us up from the station in his car, and drive us to your school. I can’t wait to see you!!!

My whole heart is bursting at the thought (just as yours is bursting with loooooove for Thomas)

Seriously Audrey Rose, no one can write that much about someone they “hate so much”.

I know just how frank you can be, and if you truly disliked him as much as you say, you’d have told him to move, or simply say somewhere else.

That and you wouldn’t have gone into such detail about how intelligent he is and how much you think you can learn from him (not to mention how full his lips are!!).

Stop denying it, and just embrace the fact that you are not only attracted to his face, but his intellect.

Can’t wait to tease you about it in person,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

You’re wrong.

Enough about Thomas (though he did bring me a cup of tea to forensics lecture last night when I mentioned earlier that afternoon at study group how tired I was, and how I didn’t have a break until after our night lecture).

I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you that, maybe just to do him the justice of demonstrating maybe he isn’t all bad.

But still, besides that courtesy he remains an annoyance.

I cannot wait to see you. Ileana and I have found the most wonderful little pub with this incredible live band. They’re from America, and they play this music called “surfer punk”. It is, the strangest thing, but I think you will love them. And if what you’ve said about Daci is true, she will too.

Oh, and speaking of women at your school, Ileana’s ex is apparently “the one who got away”. She told me and Anna the other night when we were all hanging out together in our room. How they only broke up because they were going to different schools. It was the saddest story.

Please don’t stop being my best friend just because you are a Parisian fashion queen surrounded by other Parisian fashion queens.

Love, your bff,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First of all, unless someone at school with me here can become better than you, they will never replace you as my best friend/future maid of honor. And spoiler alert, they won’t.

Daci is wonderful, but she will never replace you, no matter how alike we are, you complete me as my polar opposite in some aspects, and yet my mirror image in others.

Wow that was pretty, maybe I ought to be a creative writing major.

In regards to your little Thomas situation, i have been teasing you mercilessly, but in all honesty, that tea thing was very sweet. I think he may have a thing for you too. (Even if it’s just a “id smash if given the opportunity” kinda deal)

This feels like it’s going somewhere, I am thrilled to be experiencing this iconic love story second hand.

your bff,

Liza

Ps- if you get to insist Daci and my other fashion friends don’t replace you than I must insist that Anna and Ileana never replace me in your heart. If I find out you confess your feelings about Thomas to them before me, I will be infuriated. (That is mostly a joke, but in every joke there is a little bit of truth.)

Love youuuuu,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

Of course no one will ever replace you. You’re stuck having me as a best friend forever.

Now that we’re done with that nonsense, I have so much to fill you in on.

We just got slapped with this massive midterm project that is due the day you leave, so naturally I am going to try and get it done before you come. I assumed I was working alone because Thomas didn’t bother asking if I might want to work with him, and I don’t know anyone else in that class. But two days ago, there comes a knock on my door. Naturally, I assumed it was Anna or that Illy had forgotten her keys, so I opened the door.

And who should be leaned against the door frame? You guessed it Liza, Thomas. He handed me a to go cup of Earl Grey and then strode right in like he owned the place.

“Messier than I expected.” was all he said before settling himself at my desk, spreading his notes across my own and launching into his take on the case.

He can be quite captivating when he puts his mind to it, and despite wanting to tell him off for barging in, the longer he talked, the more clear it became that our talents would go better together, and the only way I could get this project done on time would be if we worked together.

So I let him stay, and we have spent the last two days together working day and night trying to finish this. It seems to be driving him mad that he can’t crack it as easily as he can most things in that class. I think that must be what is suddenly making him more tolerable.

Only eight days til I see you, dear cousin. Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Audrey Rose!!!

You are so smitten!!! When I tell you I canNOT!!! Don’t even try to deny it Audrey Rose!

I have, of course, been keeping Daci in the loop about you and Thomas’ whole “will they or won’t they” scene and she agrees with me that if his actions before hadn’t made it clear he was into you, what he pulled when he came to your room absolutely is. She says you should just make a move, and while I absolutely agree, I told her I bet you wouldn’t because that isn’t very you.

Prove us both wrong?

But even if nothing else comes of it, at least you will (hopefully) get everything done before I get in this weekend! I want every moment with you I can get! Daci and I have the whole thing planned out (of course your American band has made the schedule, Daci is very excited), you, me, her and her brother are going to be like a little posse this weekend, and it’s going to be amazing! And, if Thomas gets jealous you’re spending so much time with another man, you can just invite him. I don’t mind ;)

I’ll see you in six days Audrey!!!!

Love you to America and back,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I had not intended on writing you again before you visited, but a LOT happened tonight.

I penned this letter when I got back from Thomas’ room at three in the morning and honestly? The only reason I did was so that I wouldn’t think tonight’s events were some kind of strange fever dream.

We were in my room working on our midterm project to no avail, just as we have every night this week. It was infuriating. But then, suddenly I had this epiphany, and moved everything around, and it all made sense! I yanked Thomas over and I swear, he lit up like a firefly.

Before I knew what was happening, Liza, he had taken me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. He tasted like chocolate, which mostly attribute to the mocha he’d been nursing all evening.It was the best kiss I have ever had, he put Will Blackburn from high school to shame, but he pulled away much too quickly.

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a mix of hunger and nerves. He opened his mouth, I can only assume to apologize, but before he could get a word out, my desire overcome me. I let my hands run through his curls as we kissed again, and as soon as it was clear I wanted it as much as he did, he was lifting me up and pressing me against the wall. My shirt was off faster than you can say “abracadabra” and his lips were making a sweet trail down my collar bone to my chest as I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

I had finally gotten his shirt off, and was running my hands over his abs, my legs wrapped around his waist as he left little love bites on my collar bones and upper chest until suddenly, I heard Illy’s voice outside and her key jingling in the door.

And then, the fire in my core was replaced with icy panic. Luckily, Thomas managed to get into the bathroom before she came in, and I managed to pull my shirt back on before Illy got in the door. I explained as casually as I could that Thomas was on his way out, he had just needed to use the bathroom.

When he reentered the room a few moments later, I was so worried he would give us away, but he looked perfectly put together. BUT LIZA THIS IS WHERE THINGS TRULY GOT INSANE!

HE GREETED ILLY LIKE AN OLD FRIEND!!!

Because apparently?? Thomas’ sister is Illy’s ex, and none other than Daciana Cresswell, your mother fucking roomate.

When I tell you I was floored Liza, I mean it.

Then this boy had the audacity to leave like nothing had happened. But at this point, I had nothing to lose, so after a few moments sorting through details and getting caught up with Ileana, I went up to his room to confront him.

He explained he had put it together when he saw me and Uncle because his sister had been telling him about you, her flatmate named Eliza Wadsworth.

You’d think I would be more upset that he had kept me in the dark, wouldn’t you? But surprisingly, I was not. I guess you were right, Liza. I think I have been smitten since he first stumbled down the steps at orientation.

He seemed nervous I would be angry he had held out on me, but when I told him I wasn’t, it’s like he let down a facade and suddenly he was a whole new person. Unfortunately there wasn’t much fooling around after that (besides the considerable ass grabbing that came with my kiss goodnight) because we both agreed finishing the midterm to be most important that way we can spend the most time with you guys this weekend.

He walked me back to my room despite me insisting he didn’t have to, and taunted me with another kiss, and the promise of taking me on a real date tomorrow night, ‘in the time we would have spent on the project you so brilliantly solved tonight’.

I cannot wait to see you, dearest cousin.

Love,

Audrey Rose Wadsworth

Ps- I will be with Thomas when he picks you up on Thursday night :)

~~~~~

Hope you all enjoyed! This is probably my favorite fic I have ever written!!!! I have decided it is going to inspire a tiny mini series of fic’s, so there will be at least two more coming 

Thanks, as always, for reading, and let me know if you want to be tagged as I post the next ones in this series

xx

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hey, would you mind typing me? I'm really sorry if this sounds awkward or overly formal. It's kind of just how I write because I have a rough time finding the right way to phrase things so I usually end up being too casual, too formal, or a weird mix of both. I structured this ahead of time but it ended up being scattered anyway and it's kind of long. 1. I have difficulty keeping one interest for a long time. I've been interested in MBTI for long enough that it'll stick, but I haven't (1/8)

really typed myself. The only two things I have some certainty over is that I don't have high fe(Put shortly, I have little ability to understand social customs or what is expected of me and get frustrated because of this. I care about how others are affected by my actions, but even when I'm trying to be conscious of it, I can't even reasonably guess at how they are unless it's obvious. I tend to not be very helpful when comforting people because I'm not sure how they want to be comforted) (2/8)

and my perceiving axis is probably Si/Ne but I'm not sure of the order. Either of these conclusions could be wrong. 2. For the following, I believe this is the case for most people, but thought process may be different. During a conflict, I get frustrated when the line of communication isn't open. This includes when I am not strongly involved and otherwise. To give a few examples, a. One of my friends(f1) complained for about a week about being upset with another friend(f2). When f2 told (3/8)

some of my friends and I that he was upset over f1 being mad at him, I told him why f1 was mad. While usually I hate meddling in other people's business or sharing things I'm not sure someone wants to be shared, it didn't make sense to me that f1 hadn't told f2 why he was mad. It didn't allow for any resolution, only for more confusion and pointless conflict. b. For an argument where I was more involved - my sister and I are very close. At one point we had a fight, she told me she'd been (4/8)

upset with me for a long while. I was distraught by this because at the time I couldn't remember what I'd done for her to be this mad and because if she'd been mad for that long, it didn't make sense to me that she wouldn't express it. Now I look back and realize that I'd been sort of lashing out at times for seemingly no reason(I was overwhelmed because I had been constantly doing things for days with no time to process in between. This is not to say I'm an introvert in mbti, there are (5/8)

other things that could point to the reverse that I touch upon later) 3. This is not to say I hate conflict in general, because I really don't. Usually, but not always, I'm pretty honest in expressing my thoughts on a subject whether or not others that are present think differently. I'll try not to be rude about it, but I have a rough time outright lying to people. I'm also a bad liar so there's that. 4. I'm a pretty vocal person, sometimes annoyingly so. Some comments people have had on (6/8)the way I talk is that I'll say a lot in a burst, then suddenly pull back. This isn't inaccurate, but I also just sometimes talk a lot in a flow and not stop until the other person looks like they want to say something. 5. I'm sort of detail-oriented. I like refining a project and trying to get everything done correctly, but I recognize time constraints and that there is a point at which it's impossible. I can recognize that some of my work is just busy work, but I don't mind doing it (7/8)

bc grades. 6. Enneagram is really hard for me to pin down. My fear is of literal nothingness or of not having control over myself and, by extension, what's going on around me. To deal with this, I avoid thinking about it by distracting myself. To me, this sounds like 7 or 8, but my behavior doesn't fit either type. I'm not super impulsive and not directly confrontational and in charge. Sorry if this isn't enough to type, also, forgot to push anon once. Thank you in advance. (8/8)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This is interesting because usually my first thought when people apologize multiple times throughout the post my first thought is high Fe, and my second thought is dom Fi. The part about the friends sounds more like a thinker in that you’re going to the logical solution without entirely considering the interpersonal politics and motivations that may have led to this.

Beyond that however this comes off as just very...indecisive? There’s a lot of hedging and talking about what you aren’t but not much about what you are, and the examples outside of the ones about your friends and sister are fairly minimal. You mention Si-Ne but I can’t really get a sense of any specific perceiving functions for this. I also suspect you’re introverted in part because of that indecision; even though Ne-doms can be indecisive, you really do not sound like an Ne-dom to me.

The part about enneagram does not sound like 7 or 8 to me; distracting one’s self is extremely normal stress behavior for all people. I would dig into it but my guess is 6 and it’s less a fear of lack of personal control over the situation and more a fear of the situation spiralling out of control and you being unable to do anything in response. This does indicate I probably need to do another enneagram review because based on my questions this week there are some really weird ideas still going around.

Anyway, for MBTI I find myself also kind of working from a position of what you’re not. You don’t strike me as intuitive from what you’ve said here, nor high Te. My guesses would be either ISFJ or ISFP actually, for different reasons; I would also not rule out ISTP. The FAQ has some Si vs. Se stuff, or if you can provide more information that you think would be relevant to Si/Se I can try to narrow things down.

One thing I think worth noting is that a good deal of what I’d consider good reading of people/situations is the ability to know that you need to use your words. Reading, after all, involves several parts: understanding what’s going on, and understanding what to do in response. For example, most people over the age of 5 can recognize basic emotions, like sadness, in others. People who are very observant can often pick up on more subtle tells of more complicated or deliberately hidden emotions. However, it’s much harder to know what to do. Some sad people want a hug. Some sad people want to be left alone. And if you give a hug to someone who wants to be left alone or vice versa, you read the emotion right but you misread the appropriate response, and it takes a decent amount of self-awareness to recognize “oh hey this person is sad and I don’t know what to do” vs assuming you do know what to do.

[hivedent]

on “operation blow us all the fuck up”

sources:

ARANEA: Ok then!  ARANEA: Has everyone settled down? Do I have everyone's attention?  MEENAH: attention huh  MEENAH: whoda thought  MEENAH: you would want any of THAT  ARANEA: Just stop. Please?  ARANEA: I know it's only 8een minutes since you died, and you pro8a8ly aren't thrilled to see me for any num8er of reasons.  ARANEA: 8ut for me it has 8een millenia! I have 8een waiting a long time to see you again, and orient you to the afterlife. 

ARANEA: However, I don't think much of it will make sense without some major contextualization.  ARANEA: There's really quite an amazing amount of nuance to the full sequence of events. Many different players, personalities, conflicting agendas, all interwoven together.  ARANEA: I'll need a little time to set the stage for everything to 8e comprehensi8le, if you all don't mind indulging me for a while.  ARANEA: You could say it all started during our darkest hour, when it 8ecame clear our failure was inevita8le. I took it upon myself to venture into the palace of my denizUMPH.

    please be aware that these were MY PERSONAL NOTES. theyre full of me deciding things and arguing with myself and putting ideas out there to see what sticks so i can come back and refine it when i can

 Aranea and Meenah meet up upon a large floating lily pad over what used to be their Battlefield before it was destroyed prematurely by the Reckoning. The time has come. It was made clear long ago that their session was bleak. There would be no winning for them. Aranea Serket headed directly to her denizen, Echidna, to ask what route should be taken. Echidna of course informs the Scorpio girl of a method called The Scratch, initiated only once a game has become unwinnable. Echidna continues to explain that the kids will cease to exist and will reincarnate as average people on a different planet. You know. The basic deal behind The Scratch.

Meanwhile, out in the Void, Meenah is communing with the Horrorterrors who are very adamant that Meenah use the Tumor to kill everyone just before the Scratch so that they will continue to live on in the dream bubbles (this is in part mostly to carry Horuss who is carrying Calliope over into continued existence). As one would expect, Meenah is thrilled with the idea of staying around and being immortal and in charge forever.

Now the logistics and details behind this are a bit shady, but it boils down to this. Aranea and Meenah have only just recently had a fight with each other that really shook their friendship. Aranea is skeptical that the Horrorterrors’ plan even works. Why should you trust a bunch of octogods anyway? Aside from that, an eternity of death doesn’t sound exceedingly pleasing, nor does the idea of a mass suicide to accomplish that.

The two set off to accomplish their goals. Aranea accompanies Damara to transport the Cardinal Movement to the Battlefield for their final goodbyes. During this time, Meenah has retrieved the Tumor and is ready to begin her part. Aranea and Meenah continue to have conflicted opinions on how to go about this. Aranea is excited for her new potential life!

Each of the girls have acquired half of their crew to debate what they should do. Aranea has accumulated Rufioh who claims that he couldn’t even manage to face death to reach god tier and the idea is just too gruesome for him and Horuss who says he would not want to keep on existing forever without his beloved. Cronus joins in as well, claiming that he finds it sexier when women aren’t trying to kill him. He also makes a passing comment that Aranea would give him favors for siding with her (which she did not. And if she did they were not sexual). Latula thinks that conceptually it’s not really a solid plan and there is nothing suggesting it is a good idea. The entire idea just sounds grody. Mituna joins her because DOOM.

On Meenah’s side she is accompanied by Kurloz who simply stares vacantly at everyone with a wide smile on his face and Damara who is only siding with her because she refused to be with “the cheaters” and who just wants to start the damn Scratch already and get it over with finally. Both are also interested in Lord English’s propagation. Kankri believes that he will be able to help spread social justice in the afterlife. Porrim claims she is obliged to go with him, not daring subject an afterlife to Kankri without her intervention. This is mostly joking as she also admits it might be fun to get to keep living so to speak and that SOMEONE has to protect the little guy too. There were a lot of things in her life she never felt were complete. Similarly, Meulin believes in the optimistic concept that there is much to do- even if all she gets to do is talk to Kurloz forever, it is something to do. Kurloz may have also convinced her to join him because Lord English.

The two begin to face off in whose plan should work, and who should be allowed to be Scratched if that is what they want. If nothing else even just half of them can blow up while the others leave to be Scratched. Either way, the numbers are tied and no conclusion can be reached.

Flashback time for explanations!

[calliopes soul is involved with this somehow, i mentioned this in a previous post]

(Meenah’s oven, Porrim’s mannequins, Latula’s coins, Rufioh/Damara’s egg timer, etc . Die’s voodoo doll does not count. He has had the doll since he joined. Then again so did Biscuits and Eggs. This is not important. Stop riding me.)

There is also the matter of a First Guardian. This Guardian is cool. And unlike Scratch they are neither creepy nor do they fuck up the entire planet. Though they do claim to have a great interest in watching and observing the story. This is mostly because the Guardian is stuck in a dimensional pocket. Something like the Void. They are incapable of acquiring power from the Green Sun. As such, they’re black. Fizzled out in the Void, powerless. Unlike Scratch’s lit-up white. This is in part because Horuss/Calliope’s soul was used to ectobiologically birth them. And because I fucking said so. This is similar to how Lil Cal embodying Caliborn’s soul created Doc Scratch. A puppet linked to Caliborn. Whereas this Guardian is enveloped in the Void housing an antithesis of Scratch, one who embodies Calliope. But she’s not going to explode from their head or anything like Athena or Lord English. They’re just. The antithesis. They will only acquire their First Guardian powers once they have been summoned into their universe proper.

For some reason or the other Aranea has Quarters’ quarters. Maybe from during her fling with Latula or maybe Latula gave them to team members for whom the numbers/colors fit. Also I’m not sure on the specifics of this but BASICALLY she is intent on flipping them. Specifically Snowman’s. Because it’s a double sided 8 coin. What more of this decision could I POSSIBLY answer. Now it could be a few things. Perhaps she knows what it does. And she intends on flipping it to summon-kill herself so that she may be Scratched and avoid the afterlife. With… her teammates somehow? Maybe she somehow wants to flip it to decide what they do. I do not know. Like I said. They were shaky and hazy. THE POINT IS: Aranea flips the stupid Eight Ball Snowman Coin. She uses her Luck powers to make a favorable outcome… whatever that might be considering both sides are the fucking same. Maybe she bet that the coin would land on its side and if it did Meenah wouldn’t blow everyone the fuck up.

Anyway, Damara’s sick of this. Probably Damara. Someone has to shoot. But Cronus doing it wouldn’t make much sense. So Damara shoots the coin midair. Presumably Aranea’s Luck only ends up affecting how Damara hits the coin. Because it goes straight through the center. It is now just a black circle with a hole through it. But do you know who else is associated with just a black empty circle? THE FIRST GUARDIANNNNN. So it lands and they appear in a flash, all green and white and flickerin and makin people pass out because that’s just too much.

Now their influence is only right then. They can’t just go back in history and have always BEEN ALREADY THERE. They just can’t. They don’t even really HAVE that time stuff. I guess. ITS’ NOT IMPORTANT. POINT IS. FIRST GUARDIAN SNATCHES UP ALL OF THE JUJU AND ON THE SCRATCH THROWS THEM INTO PARADOX SPACE WHERE THEY APPEARIFY WITH DOC SCRATCH. Doc Scratch then distributes them to the leprechauns before Caliborn even meets them. There. Now they have their stupid Juju. Idk, they probably do some other capricious plot-altering GARBAGE too.

Anyway, for some godforsaken reason Aranea and the crew agree to not get Scratched and Meenah’s like yessssssssssssssssssssssss. Maybe because of the First Guardian being summoned being taken as a sign. Maybe Meenah does it without consulting them. I don’t know. So Damara starts the Scratch, and Meenah gets the Tumor at the ready for just the prime moment. I don’t really get what’s going on. Basically everyone agrees with Meenah but Meenah and Aranea are still kind of bitter and feuding. However Aranea gets scared and like what if this is the last time they ever even see each other? So she begins to apologize to Meenah and

SYSTEM ERROR: MEENAH PEIXES BLEW YOUR SESSION THE FUCK UP

SYSTEM REBOOT INITIATED. SCRATCH COMMENCING.

[four-pages-zine-blog]

Issue 2: Interview with Hannah Depop: @guthball

Q: What brought you to Depop? How long have you had your shop? Did you/Do you sell anywhere else?

A: Depop appealed to me because it's so clear that its basis is in community. I’ve been able to connect, collaborate and create for cool people I might’ve never clicked with otherwise, and I actually, really, truly cherish that. Plus, the layout and features are so user-friendly, there’s never been an intimidation factor. I created an account about two years ago. And I’m still here, maybe just because they added the video feature...

The reception of my art from depop users has been so gratifying. I would not have immersed myself in resin so extensively without that encouragement. It wasn’t long before I joined depop that I began experimenting with the medium; I loved the look, but had no idea what its creation entailed. So I took in a few tutorials, bought a kit, and have grown, or attempted to, from there.

The entrepreneurial bug bit me early. My mom owns and operates a drycleaners, and has allowed me to sell there since I was a kid. It began with hand-drawn bookmarks, friendship bracelets, that kind of thing. Now, I have a display of resin magnets and keychains there. I do local shows here and there, too. Mostly for fun, profit’s never promised. It’s always worth it, though, just to gauge reactions to my work- I love answering questions on process, seeing little kids play with the magnets, or experiencing the moment someone takes a closer look at something I made and really GETS it.

Q: (Your magnet faces make me so happy to look at!) How long have you been making them for, and what inspired the making of these characters?

A: I’m so glad you enjoy the face magnets! They are a blast to make. I just looked through my photos to see how long ago I made my first- it was back to September of 2016. Wow. That piece now resides with my sister, totally forgot it.

A lot of my work is influenced by quirks in process and material, the expression pieces are no exception. At their inception, I’d done a few projects with encapsulated googly eyes before, and had a bunch of sequins I'd bought to make flower accents. It was around then that I realized that the plastic formed packaging from my jewelry findings could be repurposed as a smooth, glossy tile mold, in a range of sizes PERFECT for magnets and other accessories. Toony faces have always been my go-to in drawing, and these introduced a way to marry my illustration style with resin work. I've put together so many goofy lookers now, made out of all sorts of materials, and set in all kinds of molds. I've refined my technique, but still never really know how (/if!) they’ll come together until they’re popped out. The features are all cut and glued, then layered in backwards, so I don’t have a great view as they cure. Pieces can shift, bubbles can sneak their way in, some materials distort when submerged in resin. It can be a challenge to make sure nothing's too out of place, but the glitches can be where the character sneaks in.

I mostly improvise the face designs, but sometimes, just to shake up the procedure, I doodle ideas out beforehand. There’s definitely inspiration from drag, from cartoons, from geometry, texture, and color. I know there’s one with a pout I ripped straight from a photo of my sister- I'm into the idea of full-on custom magnetic portraiture, but no one’s come to me requesting their likeness in sequins and googly eyes yet. The fact that kids think they're fun is also a huge influence: that motivates me to make them as kooky and colorful as I can. There is a selection that made it to a preschool classroom, and it’s been reported back to me that all the kids like to play and even fight over them. I love that!

Q: Do you have any favorite artists that inspire you?

A: She’s inspired by way too many artists!!! A few off the top of my head: Keith Haring, Hattie Stewart, Jillian Evelyn, Betsey Johnson, Parker Day, Shantell Martin, Siobhan Gallagher, Kendra Dandy, Tuesday Bassen, Erté, Klimt, Kay Nielsen, Man Ray, Chagall, Dalí, Hirschfeld, Picasso, Gary Baseman, Kenny Scharf, Neal Levin. If that’s not a weird and wide enough swath... I follow hundreds, if not thousands, of creators of all sorts on instagram. Admittedly extensive, but a wonderful pool of inspiration to dip into.

I have always had an interest in the arts, and (…aquarius here) make a point to be very open to all sorts of visuals. I’m content to take everything in, and very much, like, “like like like”-- it’s a whole thing when I don’t care for something, but I try not to play critic so much. I’m normally drawn to really graphic work, yet down to take the time to appreciate subtleties as well. I gravitate toward what’s wacky, clever, bold, evocative, sparkly, dimensional… a lot of stark contrast as well, a lot of black and white. But also a lot of pink and kitsch. I'm a maximalist, I obsess. That might just be reflected in my work.

And, duh, I admire other resin artists. The medium is SO versatile and I love to see its limits stretched. I put a lot into distinguishing my style from others who create with resin, but there’s major inspo in what everyone else is coming up with! Shout out to my fellow resin-making depoppers :) I’d also like to mention Lauralee Benjamin (if you're not familiar, please change that immediately), who has found inventive ways to use my pieces as accents on her beautiful work. That collaboration is all thanks to depop, and has inspired me in ways I never could have expected.

Q:What is some of your process when you create? (Do you listen to music, create alone or with friends, where is your work space?)

A:Oh my god. It’s all over the place. A lot of my process is just seeing what I can get away with.

So much can go wrong; resin is a finicky substance. I employ a variety of techniques, many developed through trial and error. I try to create unique effects, or emulate things I’ve seen before in my own way. Many of my projects are worked in layers, transformed with each pour. It can be as simple as mixing a bunch of glitters together. Even that can be tricky, though! I can get very in my head about intricacies, and try to balance the detail-oriented with simpler projects, or whatever'll give me a break from the eyestrain. Most of my stuff comes from sitting down at my workspace, assessing my supplies, and sorting it out from there. Once I have a batch of resin mixed, it's a race to get it divided into colors and divvied into molds. At times it requires a lot of precision, and a willingness to just wait it out and see what’ll happen.

Tools and materials dictate much of the process. I have a few staples, but keep an eye out for new supplies just about everywhere. I get the biggest kick out of repurposing components that might’ve otherwise been trashed. Think broken jewelry, old cosmetics, sequin scraps, and single-use plastics. I intend to look into eco-resin and biodegradable glitters down the line; it’s a matter of cost and accessibility, but adjustments I find necessary, at least for my own sake, in continuing with this art form.

At the end of last year I cleared a space in my (creepy) basement as a studio. It’s kept a hectic mess, but… that’s my nature. I work alone, save for a few times my sister has joined me. Friends have been invited to try in the past, but considering resin is such a time-sensitive, kind of hazardous, sticky thing, it’s not a great group activity for the uninitiated.

I work to an, errr, eclectic mix of podcasts and music. A lot of Sondheim, disco, Comedy Bang! Bang! and CBC Radio 2.

Q: What is your favorite piece you've sold so far?

A: Oooh, toughie. The first that comes to mind is one of the first sequin trays I made- it was a really specific rainbow pattern inspired by a book cover. I also love the custom name necklaces; they always turn out so badass! In a few instances, I've made pieces used in photo shoots or performance. Those are extra special to me, too.

Q: Where do you want to go next with your art?

A: My art is going to morph. I want to hone my skill in areas beyond resin, and then find ways to blend the edges. I want to keep pushing, but know when to pull back. I wish to collaborate more, to find solutions I’ve not yet reached, to make some of my outlandish ideas a bit more tangible. I want to build a brand and learn to accrue my worth for once.

And, maybe, down the line, tile a room with a mosaic of resin faces.

Q: What is your favorite fashion era?

A: I love an outrageous 80’s moment.

Q: Do you do commissions?

A: I adore doing commissioned work, and have had so much fun on prior personalized pieces. I am currently open to fulfilling some custom requests, just DM me, whatever!

Visit Hanna's shop!

Depop.com/guthball

[henantier]

every question for Valiane because I love her

awww you’re the sweetest—–Personal

1)      Age?

i picture her at a lot of different ages. she was born in 4e 198.

2)      Gender?

woman

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

tragically straight

4)      Height?

about 6'3"? kinda short for an altmer

5)      Race?

altmer

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc).

short, naturally brown hair (she starts bleaching it to a very very light blonde when she’s about 25), green eyes, pretty thin? no physical endurance. her feet are a 10 and her bra size is c

7)      Any disabilities?

she deals with chronic vertigo. that’s why she stopped being a kestrel.

8)      Is there a meaning to their name?

she was named after her aunt (her aunt’s name was valenya, they changed it a bit). it’s not a really common altmeri name but people have heard of it.

9)      What makes them, them? 

her determination and drive. she will stop at nothing to achieve her long-term goals. she’s the kind of person who makes a big deal out of the whole “never quitting” ideals and pushes it on others. the things she’s working for, however, aren’t really structurally sound. she gets caught up in little unimportant details and tries to get those put into place, without focusing on the larger plan.

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives?

when she was little, she always wanted to make it big. she wanted the world to know her for what she did, and be celebrated triumphantly. she didn’t quite achieve that anytime in her life. after she got involved with the thalmor, she still wanted to make it big, but through them. now, at around 53 years old, she’s abandoned these fantasies and just wants to live a satisfying and stable life.

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)?her father was executed when she was five. her mother subsequently abandoned her, and that was the last she saw of either of them. she never expected her mother to do that to her, even in hindsight.

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings?

she has a lot of siblings. a few stayed with their mother, and the only other sibling that left at the same time as her. he was two, and was sent to lillandril to another orphanage.

valiane’s family is huge for altmer. they usually have two children, at most, but valiane’s is big. her mother was accused of sleeping with other men while her husband was away on mercenary work. this rumor was true, and valiane later realized that four of her siblings were half-siblings.

the person who felt most like a sibling to her was laryaril, a girl who came to the orphanage at fourteen and taught vali alteration and how to read/write. they had such a big/little sister relationship (that ended forty years later with valiane stabbing her in the stomach and telling her to run).

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often?

she doesn’t know any of her extended family.

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?)

she’s lived in a lot of different places. the orphanage wasn’t safe, and she didn’t like it. the little room off nucarion’s study was probably the coziest place she lived. all that was in it was a twin bed and a small dresser, but she liked it. the actual thalmor dorms weren’t great, but they were semi-safe, in endalle’s wing (basically everyone under her tutelage), valenwood, and alinor.

in daggerfall, she had her own suite in the embassy. she’d never had that much space for herself before, and she felt quite out of place there. she eventually moved in with a partner there, and ended up missing the solitude of having a suite to herself.

in cyrodill, she lives in a one-bedroom apartment by herself. she generally prefers living alone, and finds it safest.

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class?first part answered above

as for wealth, she came from having half a septim to her name in childhood, to having much more money than she knows what to do with.

she donates a lot of money that she makes to an orphanage in the imperial city, in hopes that the kids there will fare better than she did. she wishes that she could take the altmer kids into the thalmor, to replicate her experience, but she’s a bit afraid of the “"traditional ritual”“ that will end in one of their deaths.

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great?

not really, she’s not in contact with her family. her father wanted her to become a mercenary like him, teaching her how to use a dagger, but that didn’t happen and vali didn’t want it to.

17)   Do they have pets?

not in cyrodiil. she had a horse in daggerfall but she didn’t take him with her.

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

no one lol. she really didn’t look up to anyone anytime in her life. she’s not capable of it, for the most part. she has too big of an ego.

19)   This there anything special about their family?

maybe that it’s huge. again, answered above.

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

definitely. she never got to have a normal family life, and probably never will. she wishes she knew how to raise a family and have a healthy married relationship, and that’s why she’s afraid to do it herself. it’s hard to do something like that without an example, and she doesn’t have a point of reference.

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)?

perhaps her fellow summerset shadows? they were the people she was the closest to. they all genuinely cared about her and wanted to see her happy.

22)   Who was their first friend?

she was friends with some of the other kids from firsthold. they got into mischief a lot. she didn’t stay in contact with them once she left.

23)   What is their friend group like?

the only two things that could be considered friend groups that she’s been in are the summerset shadows and the kestrels.

the shadows never took anything seriously. it was a group of around 25 at this point, so all of them would stay over at someone’s house or an unfortunate inn, and drink/chat/maybe have some sexytimes. it was simple fun, and looking back on it, valiane feels ashamed of liking her time there.

the kestrels are a bit more refined. they’re the kind of people who’d have a fancy den and sit back, talking about philosophical questions. that’s valiane’s kind of thing. she felt comfortable with them and able to open up.

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

kind of. in hindsight, she doesn’t remember the shadows fondly.

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

well, laryaril. they grew up together, even though they were at different points in their lives. she hasn’t met anyone since that has fit this definition.

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

she won a duel with laryaril in daggerfall, and told her to get lost afterwards. it hurts her a lot to know she did that, but it felt necessary.

she also singlehandedly killed many of her fellow shadows. she regrets this one the most, especially since she knows it wasn’t necessary in the end.

she believes that friendship is temporary and fleeting, and it can end anytime it needs to. they’ve served their purpose, and now they have no reason to be in her life.

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

she really doesn’t develop crushes easily? maybe a short feeling of lust, but never a crush.

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

she didn’t make friends with either endalle or nucarion’s other students. she made friends at prep school (more later !!) but the few other people learning beside her didn’t hold much significance to her.

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

she shoves a lot of her problems on her partner at the time. she’s never had anyone she can healthily vent or cry to, so she holds it in, and it comes out at bad times.

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

probably the exact same thing as she always has. either find new ones or live in comfortable solitude.

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come?

she’s not currently in school.

she went to the equivalent of public school in firsthold from ages 15-18 (along with thalmor and shadows stuff). it was a stress-inducing place. she wasn’t great at academic subjects. sure, she could read, write, do some basic math, definitely good at magic, but since she wasn’t in the equivalents of elementary or middle school, she was far behind in everything.

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

at school, she did. in the classes she got decent enough grades in (namely magic and literature) she even made friends with her teachers. that’s Frowned Upon and she knew it.

she loved nucarion and hated endalle.

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

she was dangerously obedient. even if she wasn’t capable enough academically, she could match the teacher’s model exactly. since most thalmor kids from richer families went to the prep schools, the public school kids and teachers weren’t used to someone who followed rules so strictly like that.

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

she was a solid C in everything but magic and tamrielic literature, in which she got an A and B+, respectively. she could have gotten better grades, but she overloaded herself so she could graduate in three years, not five.

35)   Do/Did they need extra help?

she never needed extra help per se, but it was suggested for her many times.

36)   What is/was their school like?

i’ll go into what altmeri public school is like later, but i’m going to go with @aldmerii​‘s suggestion that there are a few classes each day, and the rest of the time is spent studying.

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school?

in a way. she wasn’t bullied for any particular reason, but she definitely got her share of name-calling and shoves. nothing that serious.

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

sometimes. she never...started any fights...so she didn’t get into trouble from them...but she wouldn’t back down on someone else’s threat. she did seriously injure a few people she fought, since she usually won.

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

she would never admit it now, but she took notes on most of her classmates. it was calming for her, and helped ease the stress. she also used this (frankly, creepy) method to feel like she knew her peers, which she didn’t feel as if she could do otherwise.

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

in public school? she got her diploma. she didn’t study any further, and didn’t feel the need to.

the thalmor’s thing is that they’re always studying. everyone has, or is, a mentor.

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced?

she’s dated many people over the years. it’s been fun. it’s been interesting to get to know people so deeply. but it’s never been satisfying at all for her. if an opportunity came up, she would take it, but she’s not in a relationship for most of her cyrodiil years, and is fine keeping it that way.

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

she organizes things a lot. she buys a lot of compartments for everything, and lays them out for the Aesthetic of it. to her, it’s not worth keeping a secret, since it’s obvious to anyone who enters her house.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

she wants control over her life more than anything. this means that she’d be able to see what comes next and use it for her benefit. she doesn’t mean this in a selfish way, she just wants to feel as if she’s risen out of her metaphorical binds.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

she’s a thalmor agent. she doesn’t have any job on the side. she doesn’t need the money, since the dominion pays her a lot, and she doesn’t need the activity, since she’s busy enough.

45)   Do they use social media?

if it existed in her time, she’d probably use instagram and pinterest. she would have ~2000 followers on instagram and not very many on pinterest.

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital?

she’s been to healers to try to help her vertigo. other than that, she’s healed herself when she’s gotten injuries. she doesn’t want to put her life in another’s hands.

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

i mean, the supernatural exists in tes. she knows it does. she’s a realistic thinker, so she tries to avoid believing in things she knows couldn’t possibly exist.

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

stab people she represses her feelings a lot. she was taught, both intentionally and subconsciously, not to think about anger. that may have led to some of her shenanigans in childhood. as an adult, she takes them out by exercising or journaling, but that doesn’t completely take them away. it just takes the edge off and keeps her from doing anything drastic.

one thing of note is she never takes things out on inanimate objects. she has this small, lingering feeling not to harm objects. she feels less inclination to preserve people than objects.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

she knows she’s morally grey. she knows trying to be a good person won’t get her anywhere, and she just tries to embrace both the good and bad parts of her.

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

the vertigo (more intense in her than me though), and the general outlook on emotional stuff. nothing else, we’re not similar in most ways.