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#I’m just letting myself be upset about it for a little
ivy-and-ivory · 1 year
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Why hello, inevitable-moment-in-a-writing-project-when-I-convince-myself-I-am-a-talentless-hack-of-no-consequence, we meet again. My beloathed. Please kindly go the fuck away :(
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arthur-r · 27 days
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(stupid vent in the tags i’m maybe struggling a lot. not feeling particularly real or handling my life and relationships maturely at all)
#i love i LOVE how i can write out three fucking pages of how well and normal my life is going and then just fall apart#is this directly correlated to whether i take my anxiety medication? certainly but the side effects are SHIT and its not mandatory anymore#(realizing the amount of my shit relationship that i spent fucking drugged up by myself is SHIT!! i wasn’t a real human being i was so#fucking out of it all the time and he DIDNT FUCKING CARE and i’m upset. that being said i’m anxious as shit now without my meds)#anyway i’m meeting up with two people tomorrow and they’re both the most fucked up sorts of relationships where they’ve been almost my#entire life at certain points of time but are also people who have made me FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE but with no ill will just fucked situation#problem is one is just an asshole but the other is an incredible person with delusions attached. i think. i’m struggling#i was so fucking healthy two days ago and i thought its a good idea to say hi when i’m in town. but no actually i’m fucked in the head#i feel like he’s either going to kill me or fall in love with me. he’s ten years older than me. and has done NOTHING WRONG IM JUST INSANE#should i not show up?? this is a normal fucking person this is a normal person and i want to say hi. already sent him a long fucking email#so we’re a little late to lose this relationship. and it’s FUCKING NORMAL. normal fucking person. mentor figure positive fucking role model#what the fuck is wrong with me!!!! i’m so fucking normal i just get insane. i’m being like my nemesis actually. ex-bandmate who fucked me u#and didn’t fucking care about anyone and saw me as a character i’m doing her fucking thing. im talking about a normal man who cares about m#a normal amount. ​and interacts with me in a NORMAL FUCKING WAY. who SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE. what is WRONG WITH ME#aside from that…. i’m just feeling sick and awful. my little sister is really struggling and so am i. and i talk so much and never listen#and i could have fucking sworn that i was doing well. fucking LAST NIGHT i wrote all about how fucking stable i am. how i’m going to be oka#AND I AM. i just feel like shit. and i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m going on testosterone TOMORROW if all goes well. why can’t i#just fucking focus on that?!!?!?!?? and i’m dysphoric as shit it’s half of what’s wrong with me right now. maybe t will just fucking fix me#but what the fuck. what the fuck. i dont know. all of a sudden i’m in a bad place. i just want to be okay.#i hope everyone is well and i’m sorry for venting. i would almost not post this but i don’t feel real#i don’t know. sending love…. let me know if you need anything please. be well 💛#friends only#vent cw#like if read#delete later#ask to tag
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just-rogi · 3 months
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I told my friend I thought song of Achilles was not a great book (not bad just 3 stars and overhyped) because the treatment of the female characters to prop up the white male gay protags was not the best and that Circe was WAY better in terms of developing compelling characters with motivations beyond bottoming for a blond twunk- we spent an hour arguing in depth she ripped me apart and said I was incredibly biased and that it’s insufferable to talk about media with me. Turns out she never even read it she just wanted to argue with me to get me engaged and worked up about something bc I’ve been a shell for weeks and had another doctors appointment today where I got news I wasn’t hoping for. This is the happiest I’ve been since I got sick, she even drove me to the library to pick out more books together after my appointment just so she could see me be a person again.
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abba-enthusiast · 2 years
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Jealousy really is a disease 😔 someone send medicine cause i don’t like the person it makes me
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acidicabsolgutz · 4 months
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vent thing in tags idk
#honestly at this point i’m just completely lost like idk what to do#my social life was taken away from me near completely and this is the only place i can access on browser on my younger sister’s ipad#i cant go to my room which is my only safe space either#and i’m honestly so done with my mom and honestly a lot of my family#and guess what?#this is all cuz my grades slipped#my mom thinks that taking my stuff away will get me to magically do better in school but in reality it makes me feel even worse#cuz like. it’s hard to put into words but both she and my dad (who’s horrible in his own way) get angry when that happens cuz to them i’m#magically supposed to be a hell lot more responsible cuz i’m 17 years old and both of them have complained that this has been happening for#the past 10 years or so#cuz i can’t focus and i tend to give up a lot in my school work#and neither of them have thought about getting me professionally diagnosed for some reason#they also get upset when i start crying cuz to them crying is only for little kids which is a really fucking stupid reason#and when i get mad cuz something or someone’s bothering me cuz i can’t just magically ignore it#there’s a quote my mom sometimes said when she knows somethings bothering me#“if it doesn’t bother me then it shouldn’t bother you#and that in itself is really fucking dumb#cuz she’d rather have her teen stay idle and let the stuff bother them than actually make an effort to do something abt it#cuz as far as i know she’s not helping me stand up for myself#i think i’m going off topic#but still.#i hate it here#why couldn’t i have been into a more loving and accepting family that helped me with my issues instead of one that strikes#down anything that they deem bad#like none of them are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (which i’m part of and partially out). theyre all racist in some way shape or form#but god do they GLADLY support child marriage!! and marrying your cousins to create more inbred fucked up children that bother everyone!!#at this point i feel like i’m either going to kill myself or cut off everyone in my family once i move out#i can’t take this shit anymore#i hate it here i really do#absol talks
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littlebirdy0301 · 1 year
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talking to my not-trans friend who’s also my most recent ex-
started talking bout Trans Vibes, & after talking to him I’m like “damn maybe I should be t4t when I start dating again cause it’d be really nice to be with someone who Just Gets It” and also doesn’t have shit responses to anything trans related I talk about
#I love him but he never seemed to have much empathy for my trans experience tbh#Like he would listen and try to understand but I could always tell he just never fully Got It and would neither empathize nor sympathize#And some things he’d say I would get the vibe that he almost thought it was somewhat of a choice to feel the way I did about things#Like not a choice to be trans or have dysphoria. But a choice to be affected by dysphoria/my trans experiences when I’d be hurt by them#Like letting myself feel upset by dysphoria and transphobia was a choice I was making & that choice was part of the problem#Also another thing that I don’t blame him for b/c I never brought it up- but it still would kinda hurt me a lil-#he never corrected anyone that misgendered me#Like. His own cishet bestfriend would correct his other friends that messed up. But he wouldn’t#And I understand that correcting ppl isn’t fun and I don’t correct ppl for myself… but I correct when it’s other trans people#And most other trans people will correct when other trans ppl get misgendered. And so will good allies.#And it felt a little shitty when he would let people call me his girlfriend & use the wrong pronouns & words to describe me#Anyways. Next person I date I hope they understand more#But even if they don’t. my new dating requirement is “not afraid to correct people that misgender me”#Looking back it feels ridiculous I never talked to him about it. It’s basic respect trans people deserve from partners/those close to us#Idk maybe I’m t4t now lmaoo. less hastle
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insanechayne · 1 year
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~ ~ ~
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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I think I’m in between food hyperfixations and it’s spooking me
#need to stop eating everything in my sight when nothing makes me happy but it’s so much easier to eat everything in my path than it is to#sit and not eat bc I always want something to chew on I want chips I want fruit I want meal after meal I need to stop !!!!#I haven’t even been that excited about cherries recently I think I need to let them come to room temp before I truly like them like them#idk everything reminds me of something else and idk what I like and what I can’t stand to look at anymore and it’s making me feel crazy#anything can set my emotions off and I hate it I don’t want to eat frozen grapes anymore bc I ate them every single day last summer while in#a discord group full of ppl I don’t talk to anymore and now grapes make me upset and sad#it’s just like idk little things like that like why must everything I do have layers can’t I just fucking enjoy things like a normal person#ughhhhhh#anyways just had a serving of microwave French toast sticks and now I’m sitting in front of my ac smoking and thinking about what I want to#eat next#I mean to be fair it’s noon and I went to bed at one or two so like it’s been hours and five small French toast sticks probably wouldn’t#hold an adult over but also I hate myself and my needs and my wants I want to never eat again and also never stop and I hate myself#but also I’m the best person on the planet and everyone wants me and food is my oldest friend#I think I’ll go get my garlic triscuts and hummus and fancy cheese#and grab the cherries#and then set up a Walmart order and see if literally anything speaks to me#that isn’t completely junk
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buckys-robot-arm · 1 year
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Everything is ruined and now I’m fired for sure because I sent in the form a day late
#may get kicked off the club board because I don’t get social cues and then ruin someone’s day because of it#half of the issues the pres brought up could’ve easily been solved if the board members I upset told me ‘hey please don’t say that to me’#instead of going right to A. some stuff I can chalk up to overstimulation/overwhelm in the moment but he wouldn’t see that. only my reaction#and I try so fucking hard to internalize it and not let my stress come out. he doesn’t even see how long little things have been building up#and I don’t expect anyone to as I can’t even see it#but there’s so many times ig I say the wrong thing and idek(hello? autism?)that I did. bc nobody communicates!!#and now bc I submitted the form a day after exactly 2 weeks. we’d have to move the meeting a day later. and our meetings aren’t on Tuesdays#and now L is just always looking at me with disdain and I cant just ask her wtf I did wrong bc I said there was no need to mention any of it#and she’s also dating A so I know he tells her EVERYTHING about what I did. I’m positive she knows about the impeachment#she wouldn’t look at me like that otherwise. it’s like there’s no light in her eyes when she isn’t laughing/smiling and looking at me#I just want people to tell me that they do in fact hate me bc that’s a lot simpler to deal with than radio silence and ambiguous looks#just tell me that I’m an idiot who doesn’t have their shit together and won’t make it in the world being disorganized#and unable to bring myself to talk about other people’s conversations#I needed to rant here bc half the people on my priv story are all fucking 6 degrees of separation from A. and he’d know. somehow#at least nobody irl knows what my url is. some people know I’m on here. but they certainly don’t have a clue what I go by at least
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evie-sturns · 8 days
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camera - Chris Sturniolo
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summary: when you and your boyfriend chris get into an argument about you supposedly breaking his camera, you two get too rough with each other.
contains: angst, physical argument (not a lot just a little push and shove), crying, comforting.
a/n: i know chris would never touch you in a way to hurt you, its just fiction. :)
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i lay on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through my phone as i hear a loud yell from upstairs.
"y/n!" chris's voice booms through the house,
"what!?" i call back, my eyebrows furrowing as i stand up off the couch and jog towards the staircase.
chris storms down the stairs,
“are you a fucking idiot!” he yells at me, my heart sinks instantly as my eyebrows furrow dramatically
“excuse me?” i almost scoff, chris never yells at me, he knows i hate it.
he clutches his vlogging camera in his hands before holding it up to my eye level, inches away from my face.
the lense is completely shattered, glass falling off it everytime he moves.
“what happened??” i ask, holding the camera in my hands, inspecting it.
chris takes in a shaky breath, “don’t play dumb with me, i’m sick of you.”
i shove the camera back into his hands, “what the fuck are you mad at me for?” i raise my voice.
“for breaking my camera are you stupid?!” he raises his voice back at me, his eyes narrow as he glares down at me.
“i didn’t break your camera chris, come on.” i sigh, trying to de-escalate the argument.
suddenly he slams the camera down onto the floor, the noise of it hitting the wooden planks is deafening.
my heart thumps against my ribs as i reach out for chris’s arm, i rub it gently.
“let’s- lets talk like adults please.” i breathe out. he grabs my hand and throws it back towards me
“do you realise, that’s a four thousand dollar camera, that i got last week?” he steps towards me, towering over me
“now who’s gonna pay for all your shit y/n, not me because without this camera there’s no videos to be posted.”
i avoid eye contact with him, if i’m being totally honest i’m fucking terrified.
he grabs my chin, “look at me!” he yells.
i grab his wrist and tear it away from my face before taking a step back.
“your acting like i can’t fund for myself, i have a job!”
chris steps towards me again, i take another step back.
“and i didn’t break your shitty camera, your blaming me because you’re upset that your money has gone to waste!” i say angrily, staring into chris’s eyes.
he laughs, “i don’t like liars.” he pushes me back slightly, my back hitting the wall.
“i’m not lying you asshole!” i step out of the way, before going to walk away.
his large hand wraps around my wrist, he yanks me back towards him, popping my shoulder out of place.
he puts me back in the same position infront of the wall,
“don’t try to leave, we’re not done until you stop lying!” he shouts, staring down at me.
my bottom lip trembles, “i don’t know what to tell you, i didn’t break your camera chris.” i speak honestly,
he nods with a fake smile, “mm, i bet.”
i go to walk away again but he doesn’t let go of me,
“let me go.” i say quietly, my shoulder aching and my face burning hot.
“no, i’m so done with you, and everything.” he speaks, my eyebrows contort.
“don’t even think about that,” i warn, grabbing his hand which rests on my wrist as i try to pry it off of me.
“you let me the fuck go right now chris, and we can both cool down because clearly you need it.” i inhale sharply.
chris let’s go of me before shoving me backwards,
chris had never hurt me, ever. he’s never pushed me, yelled at me, or even threatened to do anything to me. this isn’t like him at all.
i stumble over, landing on my hands and knees before instantly getting back up, i walk over to him and push him back before walking away, my feet stomping against the ground.
tears start to rush down my face, i let out a loud sob before reaching the spare room.
“crying now? pathetic bitch.” i hear him call out, not making my state any worse
i slam the door to the bedroom shut before locking it, i crawl into the bed as i frantically get my phone out.
i instantly call my best friend, nick.
“hey!” nick says through the phone,
“nick- nick” i stammer through floods of tears
i audibly hear him gasp through the phone, “y/n, what’s happening? are you okay?” his voice is frantic.
“no- me and chris just had a really big fight- i’m talking pushing and everything and yelling-“ i squeeze out, my voice breaking.
“okay- that’s okay just take a nice deep breath for me.” nick attempts to sound calm, to try calm me down.
i suck in a sharp breath,
“have you two ever fought this bad before?” he asks, i clutch the phone in my hand as i hold it up to my ear tight.
“no- no.” i sob,
“you know i would come round right now, i’m so sorry i can’t.” nick sighs,
“would you like me to call chris and talk to him about it!?” nick asks, i sniffle before shaking my head like he can see me
“no- he’s really mad.” i speak into the phone,
“look, i promise you i’ve had really bad fights with chris before and he always, always, makes up for it even when i’m in the wrong. you just gotta give him some time and he’ll come round.” nick says with a sad tone.
“mm.” i hum, my tears slowing slightly now.
“i’m about to go with matt to a meeting, are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” nick asks,
“i’ll be fine- thank you nick i love you.” i sniff,
“love you to, feel better soon and keep me updated yeah?” nick says,
“i will.” i say before hanging up.
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i flop down onto the mattress, the whole house is dead silent. i don’t know if chris left, or what’s happening but i haven’t heard a peep out of him ever since i got in the spare bedroom.
i look down at my phone, it’s now 11pm, 4 hours have passed.
i stand up out of bed before walking towards the door, i slowly creak it open before walking out into the corridor.
i feel like i’m hiding from him, even though i’m not. i think i’m just scared to see him again.
i walk into the bathroom before shutting the door, i yawn loudly. if this was a normal day chris and i would be asleep together in bed by now, but we’re not.
i wash my face in the sink with one of my old face washes, all my skincare is in chris and eyes shared bathroom which connects to our bedroom.
i unlock the door to the bathroom before making my way back into the spare bedroom.
i peel back the covers on the sheets and climb in, tugging them up over myself.
knock knock
i hear two soft knocks on the door, my stomach drops and i feel my heart rate pick up.
i freeze, unsure of what to do.
“can i- can i come in.” i hear a quiet voice speak from outside,
“um- okay.” i reply, my voice shaking slightly.
chris creaks open the door before switching on the lamp which rests on the desk by the door
a warm light illuminates the room, i stay still under the covers as chris and i lock eyes.
“can i sit here.” chris asks quietly, pointing to the edge of the bed.
i nod, pursing my lips together.
he sits down, he fidgets with his hands before opening his mouth.
“i’m really really sorry.” he sniffs,
he looks like a wreck from what i can see, his eyes are swollen, his cheeks are flushed and eyes are bloodshot
his voice shakes like he’s on the verge of tears,
“i- i genuinely couldn’t tell you why i did any of that-“ his voice breaks and i see tears start to roll down his face,
he attempts to wipe each one but nothing slows them down.
he takes his sharp breathes as he pulls two ice backs out of his pocket.
he hands them to me and my eyebrows furrow.
he points to his shoulder,
i now realise he’s got me ice packs from when he yanked my wrist and popped my shoulder out of place.
chris looks away from me as i hear his cry’s get more intense.
“do you want a hug chris?” i speak softly, he nods before shifting up the matress to me. i reach my arms out and wrap them around his shaking body.
he wraps his arms around my waist. i sit up against the headboard of the bed and he buries himself in my chest.
he try’s to speak again “i didn’t mean to hurt you and i’m so sorry.” he says in between sobs,
“shh- sh you can apologise once you’ve calmed down.” i whisper, playing with his hair.
i take in deep breathes, he mimics my breathes and his tears slow down.
he sits up again and wipes his face with both hands.
“i shouldn’t have blamed you- i know you didn’t break my camera i was just so confused on how i managed to break my camera so easily that i didn’t even consider that i might have done it.” he says quietly,
“and i shouldn’t of touched you, i genuinely feel sick everytime i think about it and i didn’t mean to push you over or yank your wrist i just wasn’t thinking at all.”
“and i also shouldn’t have called you that.” he sniffs,
my eyebrows furrow, he looks at me before whispering in my ear.
“a- you know.. bitch.” he hesitates.
i let out a small laugh before pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“i’m sorry too-“ i start but he presses a finger to my mouth.
“no. don’t say your sorry because you did nothing wrong.” he shushes me,
“but-“ i start, he presses his lips onto mine to shut me up.
i kiss him back lazily, he pulls apart to let out a massive yawn.
“you’re so tired.” i laugh,
“i mean i tried to sleep earlier but i can’t physically sleep without you.” he mutters.
“oh chris.” i breathe, pulling him closer to me as i run my hand through his soft hair.
———-
tags:
@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos @sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72
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arthur-r · 7 months
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lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment
#hi i have a very important linguistics paper due in seven hours but i am distracting myself by playing vent music#inspired by: i typed out a long tagful of venting on wednesday night and then realized it was dumb to post it but it included the words#‘​‘tomorrow i will smile like a silly stupid angel’’ and so then the next day which is yesterday when i was once again anxious#then i wrote that part into a song. and now my roommate finally left the room for long enough that i could record it. very roughly#one of those songs where i need to get to a piano and figure out what the real chords are. but here it is for now#anyway this is about suppressing yourself in order to be more easily objectified!!!! because you feel like that’s your innate purpose#the deeper meaning of your life perhaps. the person you need to actualize. that is why i wrote this song#something something i don’t actually think this wrote this during an anxiety attack etc. me when it’s 2 in the morning on a wednesday night#and i have a midterm in the morning but i’m too busy sobbing to either study or sleep. college!! so much fun!!!!#anyways. i’m normal now basically. aside from extremely important paper due seven hours from now#but here is a song right now. i feel like a lot of us are struggling in the same boat#and i definitely am. PS this is not even about my relationship that im in right now. which is good shdhdf that would be an awful start#it’s literally so inapplicable to my current relationship. but i am just still insane. and so i am still upset and afraid. so yeah#anyway i’m in a little bit of a weird way i’m sorry for speaking weird and whatever. looking forward to dinner i think#i hope everyone is doing well. and let me know if you need anything#sending love from depression dorm room. and hope everyone is holding it together okay#me. my post. mine.#delete later#ask to tag
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seungminhour · 5 months
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[💭] thinking about the types of hugs bf!skz would give you
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◞✩ pairing : bf!skz (individual) x gn!reader
◞✩ contains : lots and lots and lots of fluff and hugs and just the boys being so smitten lol, probably some typos, i have not looked over this too well
◞✩ notes : this has been in my drafts for ages, but i never got around to finishing it lol. also, i wont lie, i loved writing in this little bulleted style. im gonna have to write more silly little things like this! anyway, i hope you all enjoy 🫶
01. bang chan - bear hugs
will open his arms and just let you launch yourself into his embrace no matter the mood you’re in
you’re sad? he just opens his arms silently and lets you come to him on your own terms
you’re seeing him for the first time since he left for tour? opens his arms and lets you come flying to him - catches you every single time
literally engulfs you completely
gently rocks you back and forth when you need it, running his fingers through your hair and whispering sweet things into your ear
“shh, baby it’s going to be okay. you’re fine, i’m right here if you need me”
definitely the type to cup your face, wipe your tears away and tell you to “turn that frown upside down” with the sweetest look on his face (it works every single time of course bc your bf is just so sweet and loving and caring and you can’t help but crack the smallest of smiles at him)
tries so hard to shield you away from the rest of the world by being in his arms
also uses it as a way to annoy you
will come up behind you while you’re trying to do something and just drape himself fully over your back
won’t get off until one (or both) of you end up on the floor
02. lee minho - back hugs
i Really have been thinking about back hugs and lee know recently, like it’s taken over 80% of all my thoughts
he especially loves back hugs in the mornings, like i’m talking clingy in the mornings
sometimes you wake up before him and you’ll be cooking breakfast for the two of you and he’ll quietly sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and just watch as you cook
do NOT try to get him off of you, because he Will retaliate by digging his chin into your shoulder to get you to stop wiggling
you’ll feed him little bites over you shoulder while asking if it needs anything
he’ll do his cute little “mmm!~” and shake his head against your shoulder
you wake him up while while you’re trying to get out of bed? good luck because he’s reaching up and grabbing you by the waist to drag you back in
“where do you think you’re going? it’s not time to get out of bed yet”
holds you there until one or both of you fall back asleep
loves to stand behind you and watch you do your nighttime routine too
asks so many (of the same) questions just because he likes to hear you talk
gets all doe eyed while watching you explain to him the benefits of one face mask over the other
he really is just smitten
03. seo changbin - picks you up and spins you around
this man. oh my god
you cannot convince me that he doesn’t love to pick you up and just take you places
like if you wanna go somewhere and you’re sitting down, be prepared for him to just lift you up and take you where you need
time for bed? he will gently pick you up off the couch and bring you to bed himself, just because he can
absolutely looooooves when you get all flustered by it
“binnie, i can walk myself you know?”
“just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”
is alllllllll about the princess treatment
as a result this translates over to his hugs 100%
literally almost knocks over the guys when he sees you come in the practice room one day
sprints full force at you until he’s scooping you up in his arms to spin you around and around until you’re breathless and dizzy
loves to pick you up and gently sway the two of you when you’re not feeling the greatest
if you come home upset and he’s there, he’s immediately picking you up and rocking you side to side as he runs his hands through your hair
sometimes you want to talk about what’s made you this upset, other time you don’t, so he’ll just hold you in place until you tell him what you need - whether that be a warm bath to relax (which he carries you to) or to be let down so you can pace and rant about how shitty of a day you had
04. hwang hyunjin - buries his face in your neck
he just wants to be as close to you as he can possibly get
loves loves loves the whole skinship of it
sooooo many neck / shoulder kisses!!!
so soft and sweet about it :(
he’ll gently hold you face in one hand while he moves you hair to the side with the other so he can make space for himself between your neck and your shoulder
always leaves at least one kiss to your neck before he rests his forehead there
“you know, hyune, you can’t just hide in my neck forever. at some point you need to come out”
will literally pout, shake his head and shove his face closer to you
he’ll fall asleep like that too
if you two have a movie night on the couch, be ready for him to lay directly on top of you, shove his face into your neck, and then promptly fall asleep within the first 20 minutes
the list of unfinished movies you guys have is astronomically long because this happens so often
you can tell if it’s been a bad day when he comes home and immediately goes to hide away from everything in your neck.
you just hold him there for as long as he needs
sometimes he will talk about it, other times he will just sit there, quietly sniffling while you comb your hands through his hair to bring him a little comfort
05. han jisung - clings to you
i will forever and always stand by the fact that han jisung is one clingy motherfucker okay
like i’m talking he launches himself at you the moment you step through the door when you get home
will not let you go for at least 5 minutes
“hanji, babe, can you at least let me put my things down first?”
the little fucker would hold you tighter and pout “nooo, i just missed you so much, wanna hold you for a few more minutes”
definitely calls it his “recharging time”
will 100% get all whiny and pouty if he doesn’t get to hug you for as long as he wants to
somehow manages to be the worlds biggest blanket hog and the worlds biggest cuddler at the same time
half the time you wake up freezing cold on one side and burning up on the other from where he has cocooned himself in all the blankets and then clung onto you for dear life
does not shy away from sticking to you in front of his friends
if you guys have a movie night with everyone in the dorms, he is not content until you are sat in his lap with his arms wrapped around you and his head pressed against yours
bonus points if it’s a scary movie and you sit sideways in his lap so you can hide your face in his neck when it gets too spooky
06. lee felix - squeezes you
this man just has so much love and happiness to spread, he can’t help but squeeze the life out of you every time he sees you
it doesn’t matter how long it’s been either
a day, a week, hell even if you just go to take a shower and come back he’s squeezing you as soon as you return
most definitely shakes you a bit while holding on to you for dear life
grabs you and does the fully body vibrate thing just to annoy you
sometimes he gets a little carried away and you’ll have to remind him that you actually Do need to breathe at some point
“lix, baby, i can’t- i can’t really breathe-“
“oh!” he’d giggle bc ofc he would, “i’m sorry baby, sometimes i just forget how tightly i’m holding you.”
gives you tiny reassuring squeezes when you need them tho
he can somehow always tell when you’re having even the slightest of bad days
also can tell exactly what kind of squeeze you need
if you come home upset, he’s right there to grab you and hold you tight, kissing the side of your head as the tears that have been building up all day finally come crashing down
tries to physically squeeze the sadness from you because he hates seeing you like this :(
if you come home mad, he’ll sit with you while you rant about your day and offer small, reassuring squeezes to your shoulder to show you he’s listening
07. kim seungmin - rests his head on / against yours
idk smth about seungmin just screams that he loves to rest his head on or against yours
and if he’s tall enough to place his chin on the top of your head? oh he’s giddy about it every single time
loves to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind, place his chin on top of your head, and just stand there like that
is also a little shit about it ofc
“you’re so short, i can see clear over your head. how embarrassing.”
“yeah, but you love it.”
he does indeed love it.
he loves that he can rest his head against yours if he needs a little recharge and he loves the smell of your shampoo and he loves how close your temple is for him to kiss
oh that’s another thing
he will kiss your temple / forehead any chance he gets - like it’s literally his favorite thing to do
when you really need comfort, he’ll pull you close and kiss your forehead before resting his against yours while you try to forget how terrible of a day you had
softly knocks his head against yours just for the fun of it
he loves to hear you giggle and get tripped up on your words when he does it, so he’ll keep doing it until you physically have to pull yourself out of his embrace just to finish your story
08. yang jeongin - waist hugs
i just really think he would be the type to wrap his arms around your waist and never let go, ya know???
like he would always be holding your waist in some way when you’re out in public just to make it easier to tug you into his arms whenever needed
loves loves loves to slowly move his hands from your sides to your back just to tease you a little bit
will 100% use giving you a hug as an excuse to start a tickle fight tho, so always be on your toes
he’ll sneak up behind you, snake his hands around your waist while acting like the innocent and sweet and loving bf he is
and then as soon as you let your guard down he’s going in for the kill, digging his fingers into your sides and tickling the life out of you
won’t stop until you call mercy
“i’m going to have to take away your hugging privileges if all you’re going to use them for is to tickle me.”
“you wouldn’t dare to take them away. you love my hugs far too much for that.”
walks away all smugly because he know he’s right. you would never deny him a hug, even though you know the risk of it ending in tickles
loves to gently run his hands up and down your sides while he’s listening to you talk
he’ll definitely slide them under the hem of your shirt
sometimes this is to place his freezing cold hands against your warm skin to make you jump, other times it’s to provide comfort when you need it
he’s slide his hands under you shirt and gently runs his hands up and down your bare sides and back when you’ve had a particularly rough day
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( 🟦 🎞️ 🟦 )
AITA for telling my coworker that he’s stupid for liking an objectively TERRIBLE film?
I (27M) and my coworker (25M) usually have “movie nights” on our days off. We find time to sit down and watch a movie together. He’s usually agreeable on what movie I want to watch, but sometimes I do let him choose the movie, as long as I don’t find it too unbearable. (His taste in cinema is below average.)
Earlier today, he reminded me that neither of us were scheduled on Friday or Saturday, and he asked me if I wanted to do a movie night. I agreed, and asked him if he wanted to watch anything in particular. (This is more of a pleasantry. He usually never suggests anything specific when I ask this.)
Surprisingly, he said that he did have a movie in mind! Unfortunately, the movie he had in mind was the 2009 movie, Avatar. The one with the blue people.
After he said this to me, I laughed at him, because no one actually LIKES that movie. The best anyone can say is that it’s visually appealing! The plot is drawn out, bland, and not worth nearly three hours of my time. I asked him if he was serious about wanting to watch it, because I never took him for the type to enjoy something so dull.
He frowned at me and said that he'd watched it a few times with his ex-girlfriend when they were still dating, and that he’d really liked it… and not just for the visual aspect? He said that he wanted to watch it with me too. He continued to justify it by bringing up the fact that I like other sci-fi movies and shows, and that he didn’t see how this was any different from those.
I told him that it was different because there was no reason for a movie to go for so LONG and to give so LITTLE, and he started whining about the first Lord of the Rings movie (which we’d watched a few months ago) and how it was longer than Avatar.
I told him that there was a HUGE difference: LotR is actually good! This only seemed to upset him more. He scoffed at me, saying that I couldn’t see a good movie if it was right in front of me. He said this jokingly, but I could tell he was upset. I glared at him, but didn’t say anything.
After a few seconds of tense silence, he asked AGAIN if we could watch it on Friday, because I’m the one who always picks the movies, and that it was unfair that he never got to pick any. I told him no, because Avatar is an awful film, and that he was really stupid for liking it.
I don’t think I’m wrong for telling him that Avatar sucks, considering it’s common knowledge, but calling him stupid might’ve crossed the line for him. I’m pretty sure that this comment is what made him mad, because it sparked a bigger argument, which eventually led to him sleeping on the couch for the night. I’ve called him stupid in other situations before, so I’m not sure why he’s making such a big deal about it now.
I don’t think I’m the asshole… If I am, I’m definitely justified. The only reason I’m asking is because a close friend of mine (28X) said that I was too harsh about it, so now I'm second-guessing myself. AITA for telling my coworker that he’s stupid for liking an objectively TERRIBLE film?
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midascrow · 3 months
Text
Alastor x Reader
————
Favoritism Pt.2(1.5)
Part 1
———————————-||————||
Synopsis: Alastor finds himself wondering why exactly he favors you so much
a/n: this is more of a part 1.5 really, as it’s mostly just Alastair’s perspective of what’s going on, but I figured you guys would enjoy this 🍓
———————-<>—————————-<>———-
Fluffy red ears twitched back and fourth, listening to the idle and mindless chatter of the hotel inhabitants.
Alastor couldn’t help but feel a certain sense of mirth at the topic of discussion. While he made no attempts to hide his blatant bias, he hadn’t thought he was quite that obvious.
Though a tiny part of him felt a bit smug, especially at the claim of that empty headed serpent. A kiss?
The idea wasn’t unpleasant but he was unfortunately mistaken.
The two of you had never shared such an intimate gesture, much less in the company of others.
No-, he supposed the closest you had ever gotten was a small bump of the nose to one another’s. It wasn’t an inherently romantic gesture on the radio demons part, more instinctual than anything, but he could suppose there had been a certain layer of affection lined in the action nonetheless.
“What do you suppose they’re talking about Al..?”
His ears twitched forward to fully take in the sound of your candied voice.
Alastor didn’t consider himself a fan of sweet things like candy and cakes. But he always seemed to make an exception when it came to you.
“Hm..~ Seems our dear friends are under the impression that you and I are…an item of sorts.” His smile twitched, inching upwards with amusement when he saw the way your eyes widened, a warmth on your cheeks that roused a small huff of pride from his nose.
“Oh…well that doesn’t..upset you?…right?” Your concern is down right precious. So bothered with his comfort that it makes the fabric of his tail coat shift, just briefly.
“Hmm~…perhaps if it were another sinner who they believed I had such relations with. However because it’s you my dear, I can’t seem to find myself bothered by the idea.”
You were far too naive. (Cute). Your sparkly gaze almost made him angry. Like he wanted to squeeze you till it eased the tight sensation in his chest. Though he wouldn’t dare to act on such an impulse. For fear of losing such pleasant company of course.
But he couldn’t stop himself from teasing you. Just a little. “Infact…I’d say I’m rather flattered by the notion~. To think they see me a fit partner for a gem like you.”
That feeling got subsequently stronger as he watched you bury your face into the crook of your shoulder, a shy, perhaps embarrassed smile painting your lips and making a that shifting of his tail coat return. Like those aforementioned sweets had found their way into his system and subsequently thrown him into a vicious sugar rush. His heart was practically bouncing off the walls of his ribcage, though he hadn't the faintest idea why.
“Alastor…” His name was a garbled whine, swatting at him playfully as you returned to dusting the bannister, distracting yourself as he sidled beside you still, ever attendant while his shadow fluttered around, moving glasses and nicknacks for you to dust off. “Are you going to tell them then..?”
“What ever do you mean?”
Your eyes glanced back, lips pursed. “Well…you are going to tell them we’re not together right?”
Well that sounded unpleasant, and his immediate thought had been an internal grimace. But he pondered the thought for a moment, mindful of the eyes on both your backs as he stepped around the side of you, clawed hands dancing across your shoulder and arm thoughtfully.
“Hmm…~..No.”
He paused, ears twitched backwards as his lips connected gently with the skin of your nose, sweet and lingering as he failed to ignore the twitch of his grin at the gasps that echoed behind.
“No fucking way.”
“I say let them wonder..~”
……
Alastor could admit, even by his standards this was a bit mean.
His “loving” gestures had amped up quite a bit the following week at the hotel.
Lingering touches, thoughtful hand placements, small gestures and sweet words. Nothing explicitly romantic…but there was always something implied in his gaze that perhaps even he himself wasn't aware of.
It wasn’t in an intentional effort to lead you on. He was hardly that cruel. But some part of him…found deep satisfaction in watching your eyes shine and your cheeks darken and become hot.
And that itch had only gotten worse too.
Sometimes it was small. An urge to pinch your cheek which he acted on, mindful of his claws in doing so. His ears always twitched at your disgruntled whines, always tuned to your words and noises. Even unintentionally.
There had been one moment when, your silly little self had gotten caught on that same rug, again. Alastor had been on the other side of the room, but the moment your squeak reached his ears, they swiveled back, and a mass of tentacles lurched up from the ground, gently rolling you onto you greet before disappearing like they had never existed.
And Alastor hadn’t even turned around, still idly chatting with the stunned princess who barely hid her ever widening smile.
Husker seemed the most displeased with his current antics. Always preaching to the others that this was a trick. That he was playing with you. Toying with you.
The radio demon wished that was the case now.
Frankly, he wasn’t sure why he was doing it. He knew he favored you above the others. That was natural. Instinctual. Obvious. And while the others reactions, especially those of the spear wielding ex angel and the gambler were fairly amusing, if that had been the soul purpose it was likely he would’ve grown bored by now. And he would’ve stopped.
But it wasn’t. And he hadn’t.
And it was all becoming a bit overwhelming.
Yet you didn’t question it. Sometimes your brow would raise, at a particularly bold gesture or comment sent your way, and yes your eyes would dart around as if to see who was watching. But you never complained. And if he didn’t know any better, he’d say you were enjoying yourself, if the sweetheart smile that graced your lips after each instance was anything to go off.
So Alastor didn’t feel the need to label what he was experiencing or truly ponder why. He was enjoying himself, as were you. To him, nothing needed to be said.
“So are you two bangin or nah?”
Though he supposed not everyone felt the same.
Taglist: @preciousbabypeter @ouroborostheunholy @chirimeimei @shanksstrawhat @for-hearthand-home @random-3455 @ittoehurt @salutations-demonsanddappers
(Anyone who wanted to be tagged and wasn’t, for whatever reason your blogs weren’t showing up,🍓)
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littledovesnow · 6 months
Text
a growing family
request(s): Reader and Coriolanus have a little fight, and Reader blurts out she's pregnant. AND corio when you tell him you’re pregnant? maybe even him going to the doctor with you?? I love ur fics <3
word count: 2.1k
content warnings: pregnancy, little angst (like a smidgen of it, you gotta squint to see it), little bit of mean coriolanus
You stared at the calendar that was pinned to the corkboard, heart hammering in your chest so bad you could hear it.
“No, no, no.” You mumbled, running a hand through your hair, getting stuck in a few tangles.
Not wanting to face your husband when he got home, you grabbed your purse and headed down the grand staircase and out of the apartment, walking over the Corso’s small grass area and up to the Snow’s apartment.
Knocking on the door, you looked at your chipped nail polish until the door flung open, Tigris appearing on the other side.
She had a wide smile on her face, but it fell as soon as she saw your expression. “What’s wrong?” She asked, pulling you into the apartment.
You looked down the hall to see if the Grandma’am was home. “You have to promise not to tell your cousin.”
Tigris’ eyes grew, and she looked you up and down. “What? Why? What are you-”
“I’m late.”
It took a moment before Tigris’ head snapped up, eyes meeting your own. “You- have you gone to a doctor yet?”
Shaking your head, you let out a tearful laugh. “Are you kidding? As soon as anyone sees me walking into an obstetrician’s office, they’ll run to the Capitol News fast as lightning. I want to tell Coriolanus myself; I don’t want him to find out from the paper.”
Tigris frowned. “How late are you?”
“A couple weeks. I lost track of time, and I was stressed so I assumed it was just late. But then I was taking a shower and the smell of my body wash made me want to throw up. And- oh my God, my boobs hurt so bad.”
Tigris laughed, sending you an apologetic look. “You’ll need to tell Coryo soon. I think he wants to go out to some of the Districts and do some press soon.”
It was true, Coriolanus had brought the idea up the other night at dinner, wanting to start gathering a following for the upcoming election now that President Ravenstill had announced he would be stepping down due to his poor health.
Nodding, you toyed with the loose hem of your jacket, tears coming to your eyes again. “I know, I’m going to. I just don’t want him to get mad. We’ve always talked about starting a family once he’s more established in the field.”
Tigris said your name softly, grabbing your hands. “I know Coryo, and I know he won’t get upset. Maybe if you keep this a secret any longer he’ll get a little disgruntled, but he won’t be mad.”
You appreciated the older Snow more than you thought you would, giving her a tight squeeze. “Thank you, Tigris.”
-----
Coriolanus closed the door to the apartment, letting out a sigh as he tried to keep his work and home life separate.
He called your name, walking into the kitchen with the bottle of wine he wanted to surprise you with.
Entering the kitchen, he frowned when he didn’t see you where you were usually humming to something on the radio, looking in the fridge or preparing dinner. As much as he offered to hire an Avox to cook and prepare meals, you declined it; stating you liked being able to make whatever you were hungry for.
“Love?” He called, setting the wine down and moving down the hall to the bedroom, worry growing in the pit of his stomach when you weren’t on the chaise with a book in your hand, as you sometimes were when he worked a little later than usual.
He heard a shuffle in the bathroom, behind the closed door.
“Sweetheart, are you alright?” He asked, opening the door slowly, stepping in when he saw you sitting against the tub, hair pulled back crudely.
“Hi, Coryo.” You threw him a smile, though it looked more like a grimace given your current situation.
Kneeling down, Coriolanus moved some of the hair that was still growing out from the bangs, frown on his face. “What’s wrong, why didn’t you send for me? Dr. Gaul would’ve let me leave. She’s got a soft spot for you, you know.”
You leaned into Coriolanus’ hand, small groan coming out of your mouth. “Didn’t want to bother you. It’ll pass in a few minutes.”
“And how are you so certain about that?” Coriolanus mused, rubbing your back as you leaned over the porcelain bowl once more.
Once you were sure you were done, you slowly rose, Coriolanus with a careful grasp on your hip to keep you upright.
“Because,” you took a swig of the water glass you had poured earlier, spitting into the sink basin. “I felt like this yesterday, too.”
Coriolanus’ hand moved to your forehead, feeling for a fever. “You don’t feel feverish. Perhaps it’s that new jam you’ve put on your toast this morning. Did you have it yesterday, too?”
Looking at him in the mirror’s reflection, you simply nodded, even though you did not. “Yeah, probably just a bad batch.”
Coriolanus helped you to the bed, hand moving along your jaw in admiration. “Why don’t you rest, I’m sure I can scrounge up some soup.”
You nodded, watching your husband’s retreating figure as he disappeared down the hall.
Once you were sure he was out of earshot, you leaned your head against the wall, one hand going to rub on your not-yet-visible bump. “You’ve gotta give me time to tell him.”
-----
It had been two days since Coriolanus found you on the bathroom floor, and he continued to believe that you simply had a small bout of food poisoning, none the wiser to the true reason you were ill only a few times.
Currently, you were sitting next to him, across from the Plinths, who insisted on weekly dinners at their apartment, only a few floors below you and Coriolanus.
An Avox went around pouring wine, pausing when you held a hand over your glass. “None for me, thank you.”
Ma Plinth looked between you and the bottle of wine. “It’s your favorite?”
Smiling, you were going to explain when Coriolanus spoke up for you, comforting hand on your thigh.
“She’s been a little ill the last few days, some food poisoning.”
Not believing it for a second, the older woman simply nodded, letting the Avox pour her another round.
“Coriolanus,” Strabo Plinth spoke up, leaning forward to talk business. “Have you given any thought about visiting the Districts? It would do you well to stop in before you officially start campaigning.”
Though only Capitol residents were eligible to vote in the upcoming election, many candidates made sure to stop into a majority of the Districts to show they aren’t afraid of the rebels, that they can control them if need be.
Coriolanus nodded, setting down his utensils. “I am, yes. Dr. Gaul and I had been talking about a good time for me to take a short leave. It looks like I’ll be able to go in few months, plenty of time before the campaigning will start.”
You mulled over the sentence for a moment, telling yourself now was as good a time as any. “If you go then, I won’t be able to go with you.”
Three sets of eyes focused on you, varying degrees of confusion swimming in all of them. “Why? It will be autumn, perfect season for photography of Panem’s future leading couple.”
Coriolanus quickly thought over any important dates in your family, none that arose during the time you two would be on the train. “It’ll only be a few weeks; we’ll be back in time for your sister’s birthday.”
You smiled at the blonde, looking at Strabo Plinth as he spoke up.
“A man can’t properly campaign without his wife there, how will the Capitol view you as a First Lady if you’re not by his side?”
“Yes, and perhaps seeing a united front will help lessen the threat of another rebellion.” Coriolanus nodded, clinking his glass of whiskey with his late classmate’s father.
Mrs. Plinth, eyes narrowing, seemed to figure out what the men did not. “Honey, why don’t we save this conversation for a better-suited time? I’m sure I can talk to Ravenstill and get him to set up a meeting time between the three of you.”
Strabo Plinth and Coriolanus both seemed content with that, shifting subjects to something you weren’t interested in.
You sent a grateful look to the woman across from you, who simply nodded in return.
-----
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to go visit the Districts with me.” Coriolanus snapped, fingers hastily undoing the tie he despised wearing.
“Coryo, I do want to go with you. It’s just that time won’t be good.” You carefully removed the numerous hairpins from their position at the nape of your neck.
The blonde man grumbled, pulling his shirt from where it was tucked into his trousers. “If we go any sooner or later it’ll be a bad time for my campaigning! Too soon, the news will have moved on to something else, like- like Flickerman’s new parrot!”
You rolled your eyes, struggling to unzip the dress you wore. “Can you-”
“Go any later and it’ll impede the speeches and galas and events I need to be in the Capitol for!” Coriolanus’ voice raised, and you paused to look at him, hand still trying to grab the zipper.
“Coryo.”
Coriolanus threw a hand up, face growing red from anger. “Do you even want me to become President?! To be able to give you all you want, to never have to worry about money, food, anything?”
You were at your wit’s end, hand finally falling from your back. “I do, Coriolanus! I do want you to be the president. But if you travel to the Districts at that time I can’t go with you because I’ll be too pregnant to go with you!”
There was a silence so loud you didn’t dare breathe. “What?” Coriolanus whispered, eyes meeting yours. “Pregnant?”
Nodding, you were once again trying to unzip the dress, huffing as you gave up for good. “Yes, and I had a special dinner planned but you just had to go and ruin it.”
Coriolanus silently moved behind you, carefully unzipping the dress and letting you use his hands for balance as you stepped out of the skirt. “You didn’t have food poisoning, did you?”
Shaking your head, you felt your eyes water. “No.”
You must have looked like a fool, standing there in your undergarments, husband behind you with his dress trousers and socks still on.
“I’m sorry for yelling. I- I’m sure we can still visit the Districts before the election, just a more abbreviated tour than planned.”
You laughed, a watery, light laugh. It was music to Coriolanus’ ears. “Whatever you want, Mr. President.”
-----
Your knee was bouncing rapidly, the only telltale sign of your anxiety.
Coriolanus had gone forth and scheduled an appointment with the Capitol’s best obstetrician, going to far as to personally thank them for agreeing to see you at such an early time. He also laid out the threat that if anything were to happen to you during the pregnancy that could have been stopped, the obstetrician would never see their family again, but that wasn’t for you to worry about.
“Love, you don’t need to be nervous. I’ll be with you.” Coriolanus mumbled, hand moving from behind your chair to your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the side.
“I know, I just- this is our first child, Coryo.” You looked up at him. “I can’t help but be nervous.”
Coriolanus smiled, pressing his lips to your temple. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.”
The nurse came out and escorted you two back to the exam room, instructing you to pull your shirt up as she squirted gel onto your stomach.
You and Coriolanus watched her every move, anxiety sky-rocketing as she frowned at the screen.
“What? What’s wrong?” Coriolanus asked, hand gripping your own.
“I just- let me get the doctor to confirm, give me one moment.” She didn’t look back as she left the room, leaving you and Coirolanus to soak in an anxiety-filled silence.
Only a few moments passed before the nurse returned, doctor in tow, and she also moved the wand around. “Ah, yes. You are correct.”
“What?” You asked, eyes flitting between the medical professionals and the back of the computer.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Snow. You’re having twins.”
-----
a/n: send requests here
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verstappen-cult · 3 months
Note
Having an argument with Max, sounds exhausting. Especially when both of you are stubborn, but guess what? He'd willingly beg for forgiveness if you are still upset with him and avoiding him as a result of the argument
“I can’t do this anymore.” You whisper, shaking your head and taking a step back. 
That is what finally makes Max stop dead in his tracks, mouth hanging open with whatever he was going to say next. 
You’re tired. You woke up less than an hour ago and the first thing you and Max did was argue. And you really didn’t want to start the day this way, but neither of you backed away. Things escalated quickly and you just can’t do it anymore. 
“What are you talking about?” He sounds desperate, his chest heaving. Max clenches his fists by his side, like he wants to reach out. 
You turn your head away, eyes filled with tears. “I’m gonna go see my mother. We’ll talk later.” 
Max feels paralyzed, he can’t seem to do anything but watch you leave. 
*
It’s past eight when you get home. 
The first thing you notice is that the house is lit only by candles. A lot of candles throughout the house. 
Max is nowhere to be seen, Jimmy and Sassy are the ones greeting you by passing between your legs. You bend over to pat their heads and give them a few ear scratches. 
The more you walk into the house, the more your heart breaks. There on the table is a big bouquet of your favorite flowers along with a small card with the word ‘sorry’ written in Max’s handwriting waiting for you. The table is also set with the chinaware you only use on special occasions, and a few more candles. 
When you turn around you see Max curled up on the sofa, your favorite weighted blanket —the one you use when you’re feeling down and Max is away for work— around his shoulders. He looks so cozy, you want to curl up next to him, but you are still a little hurt and angry from the argument you two had in the morning. You’re thinking about what you both said to each other when Max stirs, eyes trying to adjust to seeing in the dim light. 
“Hey,” You say as a greeting, trying not to scare him. 
Max turns around immediately, surprise crossing his features. “You’re home.”
“Yes? Sorry I didn’t say anything but mom wanted me to help her with gardening.” You shrug, leaving your bag and keys on the table next to the couch. 
“I didn’t think you’d come back.” His voice is barely a whisper, but you hear him anyway. Max exhales deeply, clutching the blanket tightly around his shoulders. 
“What?”
“I’m so sorry.” He blurts out, shoulders slumped. Max shuts his eyes tightly, like he’s in so much pain he can barely have them open. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I should’ve listened to you—I’m really sorry. I don’t want us to argue like that again, I felt horrible because I love you and I promised myself I would never do something like this.” You let him talk, to spill everything he has inside of him. “After you left—I wanted to go after you but I knew you needed time. But it made me remember how my dad used to talk to my mom, how they would yell at each other while Vic and I hid in our rooms.” You are already moving towards him, even before you hear how his voice breaks. 
You sit by his side, leaving some space between you two, hands itching to reach out and touch him, to draw him closer to you and hold him. 
“I don’t want to be like him.”
“You’re nothing like him,” You move closer, taking his hands with yours, thumb caressing the back of them. “Don’t you ever dare to go there, okay? You will never be like him, Max. Do you understand?” 
But he doesn’t look at you, he doesn’t say anything. 
“Max, this is not the first and it’s definitely not going to be the last argument we have. But if we talk about it, if we give ourselves some time to think things through like we did today—this doesn’t mean you are a bad person, or that you are turning into your dad.” You cup his cheek with one of your hands, caressing his cheekbone as you look into his stormy blue eyes. 
“I’m so sorry,” He says again, tears in the corners of his eyes. You smile softly at him when he begs for your forgiveness again. 
“Can you forgive me too?” 
“Darling, you’ve nothing to be sorry for.”
“Well, you’re wrong there.” You sniff, already feeling the tears wanting to stream down your face. “We were both wrong, don’t take all the blame.” Max opens his mouth to refute, but you shut him up with a kiss. It’s chaste, full of promises, and leaves you with blood pounding in your ears. 
“Do you forgive me?”
Max nods, gaze fixed on your lips. “Yes,” He directs his gaze back to your eyes, and you can see so much regret in them. “Do you forgive me?” 
“I don’t know,” You tease him by pretending to think about it. “it depends on what you made for dinner.”
A grin spreads across his face and he’s standing up in a second, tugging on your sleeve. “It’s definitely gonna make you forgive me.” He says, pulling the chair out for you to sit. “And if this doesn’t work, I have many other ways to make you forgive me.”
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