#I’ve just been really struggling to write anything I’m proud of lately

[ivy-and-ivory]

Why hello, inevitable-moment-in-a-writing-project-when-I-convince-myself-I-am-a-talentless-hack-of-no-consequence, we meet again. My beloathed. Please kindly go the fuck away :(

[choicesficwriterscreations]

August Creator of the Month: Mavidraws

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month: @mavidraws

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTMs can be found here.

Tumblr Blog Name: Mavidraws

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Mavi

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Commissions Info

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

2017. Most Wanted.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

In 2023, after playing Blades 2. I spent years without playing Choices, but this book really inspired me to create some art, and I began interacting with the fandom after that. 

3- How did you pick your blog name?

It’s a combination of my nickname, Mavi, which is short for Maria Vitória, and “draws”, since this is (mostly) an art blog.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It's a drawing of the main characters and my MC from an interactive fiction called Keeper of the Sun and Moon (@keeperofthesunandmoon), which was my first digital drawing ever. I was fascinated with this IF and wanted to share how I envisioned these characters.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I create fan art.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I’ve been creating for Choices since late 2023, and for other fandoms (such as KOTSAM, Golden and TWC) since 2021.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Honestly, I can’t pick just one—The Elementalists, Endless Summer, and It Lives in the Wood are some of my favorites. But Blades is definitely my favorite book to create for.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

I absolutely love this piece and wouldn’t change anything about it. This was the drawing that helped me establish my current art style.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This drawing of Tyril and my MC from Blades. I think it was the most emotional piece I’ve ever created and I’m really proud of it.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I think this drawing of f!UB from TWC did exceedingly well, and it was even noticed by the author—which I never ever ever expected.

I think this drawing of Valax could use a little more love.

11 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I see a lot of myself in Theodora, my MC from Golden (an IF by @milaswriting). Her personality and internal struggles are very much my own, as well as her interests—like myself, she’s a law student (I’m currently an attorney) with a passion for fashion.

12 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Backgrounds. I’m much more comfortable drawing people.

13 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Currently not.

14 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

I already showed my work to my boyfriend and many of my friends a long while ago. But if I had to pick an art piece to show them today, it would probably be this one —I’m really proud of how these wings turned out.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

I don’t really have an artist that inspired me. Most of my art style comes from my love of makeup.

16 - Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about? 

This pre-battle moment from Blades 2 between Tyril and MC.

17- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

No.

18-  What other hobbies do you have?

I really love makeup, and I consider myself to be a great makeup artist. I’m also a huge film nerd. 

[shelby-fangirl00]

Good for you-part 3

previous part

So I’ve been avoiding tumblr lately. Sometimes I get into these stupid funks after I write something I’m really proud of. It’s like I can’t do another good piece of writing after. I don’t know, I’m just scared of not being good. I honestly don’t know how well this one’s even written, but it was still fun to write.

So I took sometime to just fall into dark romance novels in order to help me feel inspired/grow as a writer. I know I don’t really have many people waiting on me to write or anything but I just have this guilt about not posting. BLEHHH ANYWAYZZZ…

🎵I can heaaaar the belllls🎵 it’s wedding day y’all! Enjoy:)

Warnings: (18+ MINORS DNI) strong language, smut, loss of virginity, dark!Tommy, dark!Tommy being soft, angst, fluff, jealousy and a bit of cheating

You hadn’t spoken to him in days, not since you woke up alone in his bed. he had left your ass bruised to hell. You weren’t sure why he had been avoiding you. It all seemed like one big mind game of his. Punishing you, soothing you, then disappearing. What was his angle?

Now, you were about to manually put one pearly white heel in front of the other as you walked down the church aisle, only moments away from signing over your life to him.

You looked at your father before he opened the doors of the church to expose you to a room full of people you didn’t know. He went to reach for the door handle, but you stopped him, pulling his arm back. He looked at you, confused at first. He could see the tears pricking at your eyes and the scrunching of your brow. Your chin began to quiver as you saw your fathers eyes soften with empathy and maybe a bit of guilt.

“I’m so scared, dad.’ You whispered to him, the tears finally falling down your cheeks.

“Oh sweetheart…” he pulled you into a bear hug, the kind that made you cry ever harder. You felt the child inside of you dying as his familiar arms wrapped around you, the arms that always protected you. It was a dark and empty feeling, knowing that you’d never have that gleaming light in your eyes that children have. That you always had. You’d never have the same rosiness to your cheeks anymore. You’d never experience real love, never experience traveling, never have your own life. You would always have that depressing mansion. Forever hiding behind the shadow of the man you’re marrying. Reality sank in and you tried to accept the hand that life had dealt you.

“Be strong, y/n. He may seem like a cold man but he will take care of you. You will never have to struggle again. We will never struggle again. And it’s all because of the sacrifices you’re making today. They don’t go unnoticed, love.”

You shook your head, wiping the tears away and composing yourself. You always understood your role in your family. It was all just happening so quickly at once.

You heard the church’s organ hymn to life, knowing that this was really it.

The doors opened, revealing nearly a hundred people or more standing and watching you, examining your body. At the end of the green aisle stood Tommy, hands crossed in front of him, watching you, with no expression at all. Everyone was dressed eloquently, but so we’re you. You’re dress was light but fitting, accentuating your best features with rhinestones and lace.

Tommy watched you walk slowly down the aisle, hips swaying back and forth. He always thought you were a pretty girl, but you looked beautiful tonight. He especially liked the way you chose to wear your hair in a low loose bun, strands falling down your neck. The way he favored it.

He coughed a bit as his mouth went dry the closer you got to him.

“Don’t get cold-feet now, Tommy.” John giggled from behind him. Tommy rolled his eyes, unmoving from his position.

As your father handed you off to Tommy who took your hand, walking you to stand in front of the aisle with the priest.

As the priest went on with the service, you felt yourself looking for comfort in Tommy’s eyes, your new protector. He gave you an amused smile, winking down at you playfully, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. His ability to not take it all so seriously (or at least not show you his fear) calmed down the rambunctious beating of your heart.

“I do” Tommy said, his voice booming through the church. You almost forgot how intimidating his voice was after not hearing it for days.

“I do” you said quickly, not daring to hesitate and risk embarrassing him. He smiled at your eagerness.

“In the sight of these witnesses and God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!”

The drop in your stomach was quickly replaced with butterflies as Tommy cupped your face sweetly and kissed you for the very first time. His lips were soft and supple, pressing lightly against your own. Being kissed by him was better than you imagined.

You both started to laugh into the kiss as the roar of people (mostly Tommy’s family and men) whistled and clapped for you both. Feeling the tension break away from the situation, you pulled away, smiling so widely at Tommy. His heart skipped a beat as he had never seen such a beautiful and authentic smile.

For a few moments, it felt like it was just the two of you in that church. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

…………………………………………………………………………….

You had ditched the champagne halfway through the night and snuck a few swigs of whiskey from Tommy’s office. All you could think about was what would happen after all of his fancy guests left. Would you still have a separate bedroom from him? Hell, you didn’t even know if he’d touch you. You never talked about anything. But you wanted him to. Deep down, there was a need to be consumed by only him.

The booze helped with your worries. You figured it would help with the pain you might be experiencing after tonight. You were a virgin. You never told him, but he never asked. You assumed he already knew. You had no clue where you stood with him, but the liquor told you to go find out.

You fought to find Tommy in the crowded hallways, trying your hardest not to get lost in the “congratulations” people threw your way.

Suddenly, you felt his presence nearby. Like you could sense where he was, you turned around to peer through the crowd. He was sitting alone in an empty room to your right, down the hallway. The door of the room was only cracked open and the lights were dim around him. Your body froze as your eyes followed his line of sight from above him in the dimly lit room.

A tall woman came into view, with fiery red hair and a slim figure. She leaned over Tommy, whispering something in his ear, her diamond encrusted necklace dangling in his face. It sparkled off his deep blue eyes.

You could almost make out the growl he let out in response as he pulled her forcefully onto his lap. She wrapped her delicate fingers around his neck as he shoved his face in between her chest, kissing her skin so softly. His hands, the hands that you so desperately wanted all over your skin, we’re gripping this beautiful woman’s instead.

The entire room and people around you faded into the background. Your ears rang out and you couldn’t look away from them. The more you gawked, the harder it was to pull yourself away. On your fucking wedding night of all days. Sure, you didn’t think that you’d be his last fuck, but surely not tonight. Maybe this was just the way of his world. This is what you signed on for.

Your vision blurred as tears flooded out. Your body suddenly felt 1000 pounds heavier as the blood pulsed through your ears.

“Darling, is everything alright?” Polly’s soft voice purred behind you, not noticing the scene Tommy was so obviously making down the hall.

Blinking once to free your eyes, you wiped them away just as quickly. Forcing yourself back to reality. In that very moment, something inside of you awakened, something devious, but also something very fucking angry. Deciding to shut your emotions off, you turned to her kind eyes.

“Oh just lovely Polly. But it is my wedding night and now that I’m officially a Shelby, I intend to drink like one. Join me?” You said so effortlessly, shocking yourself with the confidence you oozed out instantly.

Polly’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, giving you a questioning look. She’d never heard you stutter out more than a few words to her or anyone in the family, really. She took you for the shy and submissive type, which to be fair, you were. But not right now, not tonight. He wouldn’t take this night from you.

After a few seconds of silence, her mouth slid up into a devilish grin.

————————————————————————

It didn’t take long before all of the worries and pain dripped off your shoulders, evaporating into the air around you. At some point, Polly and her strange friends that surrounded her had disappeared into the crowds, chatting away with people you didn’t know.

The jazz music blared from the small band Tommy had hired for the night. Your body moved and swayed to it as you stood lazily at the bar. You hadn’t seen Tommy since he was eye-fucking whoever the hell that woman was. You told yourself that he was the last person you wanted to see. But it was a lie. You’d always want to fight for his attention or even his devotion.

But suddenly, like a fucking ghost, you felt the back of your neck prickle and your palms sweat. You knew he was close by, you could feel it in the way the air thinned and the way people’s back straightened.

You decided to not look around for him. If he needed you, he’d find you, but you were sure he didn’t give single fuck what you were up to.

Your eyes scanned the ridiculous bar and landed on the tall man to your left. He was sitting opposite, staring up at you as he brought his glass to his pink lips. You stared, a bit taken aback by his boldness. He lowered his glass, never looking away. You threw him a playful smile, never looking away.

His skin was tan, opposite of Tommy’s. His eyes were almond shaped and honey coated. His aggressively large shoulders and slim torso enticed you as his body seemed to lean forward, preying on you.

Without your mind fully catching up, your body moved slowly towards him, but not before you shot back another glass of champagne.

“I have a feeling you’re the designated wedding crasher?” You almost whispered as you sat down on the stool beside him.

His eyes softened, and his grin turned even wider at your examination of him.

“What makes you so sure?” He sipped on his glass, his loosely slicked back hair tumbling into his face as he moved.

“Because only an enemy would try provoking Mr.Shelby by making eyes at his new wife…especially on her wedding night.” You giggled, lazily crossing your thighs together.

He didn’t miss the movement. His eyes traced over your body, stopping at your exposed thighs before meeting your face again.

“Well you don’t seem to mind, do ya love?” His voice turned husky as he leaned in closer, making you do the same.

You looked past the man’s shoulder, zeroing in on those deadly blue eyes, watching you from the corner of the room.

Bingo.

Now you had his attention. You didn’t even give a shit how much trouble you and this mystery man would be getting into. He clearly wasn’t welcome here anyways, whoever he is.

You smirked at Tommy, never taking your eyes off of him as you leaned even closer, pulling the man’s neck closer to you, putting your lips to his ears.

Before you could even get a word out, Tommy was stomping towards you both. You slowly let the man go and watched in awe as Tommy grabbed the man by the back of his collar, pulling him off the chair. His back slammed onto the floor, making the entire room fall silent.

Unfazed, you sipped on a glass of champagne in your hand, watching Tommy’s anger boil over, ready and waiting for your own punishment.

He placed both feet on each side of the man, whipping out his pistol effortlessly from under his coat and pointing it in his face.

“Fuck off.” Is the only words he spoke to the man, but they were deadly enough to make any person run away in fear.

The man didn’t need to be asked twice before he pushed himself up and stomped to the front door. Well that was easy enough.

As Tommy holstered his gun and brushed his pants off, the band began to play again as everyone slowly continued on with the party. As the noise picked up, he finally turned to me, eyes on fire.

He yanked me from the stool by the arm, dragging me down the hall and up the stairs. You giggled your way up, too drunk to even care how mad he was.

He threw you into his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Stumbling back, you cocked an eyebrow up at him, challenging him.

“Are you that fucking dense? Are you trying to embarrass me or do you just not give a fuck?” He voice was filled with disgust. While his tone was vile, his composure was also slipping.

You tapped your pouty lips with your finger like you were thinking hard.

“I was so lonely, husband. I just needed some attention.” You giggled, skipping towards him lightly, your chest bouncing out of your low cut dress. Ignoring his insult completely, you batted your thick lashed at him.

His eyes shot down to your chest but they were still full of fury.

“Oh I see! Only you are allowed to play tonight.” You said in an annoyed tone.

His shoulders rolled back and he tilted his head in suspicion. He knew you knew.

Seeing the realization in his eyes, you rolled your own, turning your back on him. Before you could take another step, he yanked your arm back, pushing you into his chest. You yelped, attempting to push him off of you, but his grip on you was too tight.

“Fuck off, Tommy. Let me go.” You said, finally dropping the whole “I don’t care” act. His fingers dug into your sides so hard you knew they would bruise.

His eyebrows shot up to his fucking hairline, letting out a laugh that was deadly.

He pinched your cheeks with one hand, forcing you to look at him.

“You’re hurting me! Let go!” You whimpered out. He used his other hand to pin your hands behind your back. He rotated both of your bodies, pushing you again the wall with a loud thud. You winced in pain.

He pressed your face into the thick walls, shoving his nose into yours.

“This is my house. I can do whatever or whoever the fuck I want, ya hear me? You may not act like a whore.”

You didn’t feel scared or threatened. You felt fucking rage. It was bubbling up inside of you, clawing at your throat.

“I wouldn’t have to act like a whore if my husband could do the fucking job himself.” You said at an angry whisper.

His eyes darkened and his lips curved up into a smirk.

“You’re awfully cheeky tonight, love. What happened to my submissive little pet?” He cocked his head to the side, making you shudder.

His hand curled it’s way around your throat, squeezing a bit too tight.

You preferred being good for him. But you were still too angry for that.

“Fucking other women on your wedding night…that’s gotta be a bad omen or something, no?” You squeaked.

“What makes you think I fucked her?” He chuckled, examining the way your body was pushing into him.

“Because you have quite the reputation for acting like a whore yourself.”

You yelped as his palm smacked the side of your cheek, not hard enough to hurt you, but enough to get your attention.

Without another word, he let you go, but not before forcing you to your knees as he pushed your shoulders down. Finally.

Quickly, he freed his cock from under his dress pants.

“That naughty mouth of yours needs to be taught a lesson.” He growled before forcing your jaw open with his hands. Before you could process what was happening next, he was shoving his cock down your throat.

You moaned at the sensation, greedily trying to take back control. You bobbed your head back and forth, using your tongue to swirl around the tip of his cock. You were a virgin, yes. But you’d had a few dicks down your throat before. Maybe none as big as his though.

His hand fisted into your hair, taking control of the rhythm. As he forced himself farther and farther down your throat, you gagged, drool dripping out onto your chin.

Both of your eyes were locked onto each other as you let him fuck your mouth relentlessly. You folded your hands behind your back, letting him have the control he desperately seeks.

He smiled sweetly at you.

“There she is. My good girl.” He said huskily, not stopping his relentless movements.

Your pussy clenched around nothing at his words, making you moan around his cock again, sending vibrations up his body.

Your thighs opened up and you attempted to rub small circles into your clit, trying to relieve the built up tension between your legs.

As he watched you, he pulled out of your mouth and smacked your hand away from yourself.

“You ask for permission to touch that needy pussy. It’s mine now.”

You whimpered, wishing he would stuff your mouth full of him again. Noticing your expression, he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

“Get on the bed. I need to be inside you.”

Your body froze for a second, preparing yourself for your innocence to be taken away.

“Tommy…I’ve never-

“I know. You think I would have waited to fill that pussy with my cock until tonight if you weren’t?” He stalked over to you, placing his open hand out for you to take. You do, standing to your feet and allowing him to lead you to the bed.

He stalked behind you and you felt his fingers zip down your dress and push it off your body slowly, finally exposing you naked body to him for the first time. Goosebumps covered your skin as you could feel his eyes all over you.

His hands snaked around your stomach from behind, slowly reaching down and stopping above your pelvic bone.

You were desperate for his touch.

He leaned over from behind you, forcing your head back to kiss your lips softly as his hands crept up and down your thighs. Every one of your nerve endings were set on fire as his unfamiliar hands touched your skin.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit inside me..” you whispered, resting your head on his chest.

He smiled knowingly, kissing your nose. His changing moods were giving you whiplash.

“It will, love. It’ll hurt at first…” he kissed down your neck, sending goosebumps down you again.

“But I promise I’ll make it feel so good.” He whispered in your ear, biting at your lobe.

He pushed you towards the bed and you laid flat on your back, almost shaking with anticipation.

The only exposed part of his body was his throbbing cock standing center.

His eyes devoured every inch of your body before he hovered over you, kissing your cheeks softly.

“Tommy.” You whispered, your hands wrapping around the back of his neck.

His eyes lifted to find yours.

“Please be gentle with me?” You watched as his eyes softened for only a second and quickly changing to mischief.

“Relax, love. Do you want this?”

“Of course I do.”

He smiled down again, giving you one last kiss before he lined himself up with your pussy. Your body stiffened as you felt him tease you, rubbing the head of his cock against your slick slit.

“Beg for it.”

You did as you were told.

“Please, Tommy…I cant wait anymore.”

“Good girl…you feel how wet you are? You’re ready for me.” He moaned out as suddenly the head of his cock popped through your entrance making you gasp.

Your hands shot to his shoulders, trying to find comfort in him.

He brushed his nose against your neck, making you shiver. He inched in further before stopping to let you adjust to his size.

He groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head.

“I’m going to push all the way in now, ok?“

You shook your head, ready to get the pain over with.

“Fuck!” You yelled as he plunged into you, breaking through the thin wall inside of you so easily.

“Shhhhh…I’ll make it feel better.” he cooed, taking his hand to wrap your leg around his waist. He froze again, letting you adjust.

“Tommy, please fucking move!” You wined as the pain was too much to bear.

He chuckled, moving all the way out just to thrust back in again.

“Christ, this pussy was made for me, y/n. It’s all mine…you’re all mine.” The use of your name made your head reel.

After moving in and out of you a few more times, your body relaxed. You pushed him into you with you legs, reveling in the pain mixed with the pleasure.

“How does it feel?” He moaned out, pinching your nipples between his fingers.

Your back arched up off the mattress, chasing his touch.

“So fucking full…” you barely mumbled out as his pounding never relented.

Thrusting inside of you once more, he flipped you with ease so you were on top of him.

You froze for a second, feeling intimidated by this position. But you couldn’t deny it. You liked the way he looked under you, eyes glazed over and mouth popped open in ecstasy.

Noticing your timidness, he squeezed you hips, signaling for you to move up and down.

“Fuuuck..” you panted out, tilting you head back and planting your hands on his chest. Like your body knew exactly what to do, you slowly found a pace, moving up and down on his dick.

“Good job, love. Just like this.” He led your hips up and down, meeting your hips with his own.

You pulled the buttons of his vest apart, exposing more of his broad figure, but still fully clothed. For some reason, you liked how exposed you were and how covered up he was.

His encouraging words boosted your ego, making you bounce faster and faster on him. You felt him pulsing inside of you. The sounds of your skin slapping together and the shared panting and moans drowned out the music from behind the door.

He used his palm to push you back down, forcing you to lay flat on his chest. He took the opportunity to lift your ass and fuck up into you. Shots of pleasure were

You let out a guttural scream that you were sure someone would have heard. Riding him felt good, but this felt intoxicating. Your body was at the complete mercy of his movements. A knot started to form in the pit of your stomach, pulling tighter and tighter around you.

“I think I’m-

“Yeah, I can feel you squeezing around me. Come for me, please.” He panted out. Did Thomas Shelby just say ‘please’?!

He pushed his hand in between your bodies, letting his thumb draw circles along your protruding clit with one hand while the other lifted your ass up and down onto him. This can’t be what sex feels like for every man. This is what sex feels like with Tommy. You felt like he was finally seeing you and you were finally seeing him for the very first time. He smiled up at you, watching you find yourself through him. A sense of belonging and power washed over you and you let all of your fears of Tommy go…in that moment at least.

Seeing flashes of a vulnerable Tommy was fascinating. He never let his guard down around you, except for right now. He had completely fell into this moment, your bodies moving as one, like you’d done this 100 times before.

You sunk your claws into his thinly covered chest, leaning your head into his neck as he fucked you through your orgasm. Thousands of tiny sparks ignited inside of you. Your body tightened as you silently screamed in pleasure.

He didn’t stop even after you came down. He flipped you over to your back again, chasing his own release now.

You both groaned out as your back hit the mattress and he pounded into you with such force. His hand lifted your leg up to rest on his shoulder, pulling at your tight walls.

“I’m gonna put a babe in here…plant my fucking seed in you.” He growled. Normally, you’d reject this. But fuck, you didn’t care right now. You wanted to know what it felt like when his cum shot up into you.

His thrusts became sloppy and his free hand held your chin in place, not allowing you to look away as he finally came inside of you.

The whimpers that left his mouth as he stared down into your soul. You smile deviously, now addicted to this vulnerable expression. You wanted to see that drunken-on-lust look over and over again.

Both of you panted over each other, not moving from inside of you. You could see in his eyes that something had changed between the two of you. He had finally made his mark on you and you were now a brand new woman. A woman with power and needs, that he would happily fulfill for you whenever you wanted.

He giggled cheekily, letting his head fall to his shoulder.

You chuckled, sitting up on your elbows.

“Come here.” He said softly, reaching his hands out for you to take.

Finally, he pulled out with a gasp, watching your pussy as the cum dripped out of you. He used his two rough fingers to collect the excess and brought it to your mouth. You eagerly sucked off the juices on his fingers, greedy to know what it tasted like when you were mixed together.

He slowly led you up and towards the connecting bathroom, starting a hot bath. It was sweet, the way he was trying to take care of you now. You would’ve never expected this type of treatment from him before. You had broken down his wall, at least a small bit.

You watched as he finally removed the clothes from his back. You were gawking at the way his tight muscles moved when he did.

Normally, you’d be shy about standing there naked in front of someone, especially him. But not anymore. He’d taken away the awkwardness and the fear you usually had around him, and you were thankful for that.

With the bath filled almost to the brim, he undressed completely, exposing all of him to me now. He sunk down into the water with a groan and held out his hand for you to join him.

You smiled, stepping and sinking in too. You hissed as the water hit your hips, feeling the sting between your legs. You rested your back against his chest. You hummed in satisfaction as you let you head rest against his hard body.

His hands snaked around your stomach in the water and he leaned his chin against your neck. You loved the way his skin felt on yours. This is the longest you’d ever been around Tommy without feeling on edge.

“Shouldn’t we be out there entertaining all of your fancy friends?” You giggled, feeling him smile against your skin.

“That’s the last thing on my mind right now. Polly and Ada can handle it. Im right where I need to be.”

You craned your head to press your lips on his. The both of you seemed different now. The softness he showed was only reserved for you.

You didn’t feel pain or regret. You felt calm and happy to be wrapped in his strong arms.

“Y/n?” He whispered, making you look up at him.

“If you ever pull something like that again, I won’t be as forgiving. You’re all mine from now on, understand?” He brushed the water up and down your arms soothingly.

You shuddered into the hot water, squeezing his arm as a sign of affection and remorse, for some reason. But you couldn’t even be mad at him anymore. He fucked all of the anger and jealousy out of you.

“And you’re mine, too.” You stated without questioning yourself and letting you eyes fall shut.

Taglist:

@lyarr24

@forgottenpeakywriter

@casa-boiardi

@tigernach575

@crabat-the-queen

@adaydreamaway08

@oizyss88

@shelbyteller

@everysage

@yurmomsawh0r

@delusionalxoxo

@trixie23

@sunset24t

@star017

[finnsbubblegum]

Second Chance (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: I choose not to use warnings to avoid spoilers.

Summary (Series): You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight.  But he felt insecure.

Summary: Pov: Joel being the best husband in the world.

Words count: 2.5k

A/N: This is part 8 (last one) for I Don’t Deserve You series. But it can also be read as a standalone. I’ve been having baby fever lately, that's why I’m writing about pregnancy lol. If you don’t like it, I’m sorry. But I swear it's just fluff, hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

You had been trying to move to both of your sides but you couldn’t find a comfortable sleeping position. You knew Joel must be tired from working so you didn’t want to disturb Joel’s sleep. 

You sighed as you got up and walked to the living room. 

“Can you let me sleep, please?” You rested your hand on your belly talking to your baby who had been kicking you the whole night.

“Please.” You begged as your baby kicked you again.

You tried to lay down on the sofa and you still felt uncomfortable. You wanted to lay on your stomach but you couldn’t. You were tired and you just wanted to sleep. You couldn’t hold it so you cried. It was probably 3AM and you were sitting on the sofa alone, sobbing in the dark. 

“Baby?” You heard Joel walking down the stairs.

You turned your head to look at him. Your eyes were red and your face was wet with tears. 

“Why are you not in the bed with me?” He came closer to you.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He cupped your cheeks.

You shook your head. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He rubbed your back in circles.

“I can’t sleep.” You wiped your tears on your cheek.

Joel stroked your hair. He was feeling helpless because he couldn’t do anything to help you.

“The baby keeps kicking me and waking me up. It’s so uncomfortable. And I miss sleeping on my stomach.” You cried.

“I’m sorry, baby. Hey there, be good to your mama.” Joel poked your belly with his index finger and moved his head closer to your belly and talked to his baby. It’s the least thing he could think of to help you feel better.

“I think they listen to you.” You didn’t know your baby’s gender so you called your baby they.

“Thank you.” You kissed Joel.

“Come to bed with me?” Joel held your hands and you nodded.

The sun was rising and Joel groaned. He turned to look at you and rested his hand on your thigh stroking it up and down. You didn’t really sleep well but you smiled at him. You were thankful to have him beside you.

“Morning.” Joel leaned in to kiss you.

“Morning.” You stroked his head trying to fix his messy morning hair.

You started your day as usual by having breakfast with your family, Joel and Ellie.

“I’m going to school. See you!” Ellie put on her backpack and was ready to go out.

“Have a great day, kiddo.” Joel pat Ellie’s head. Ellie gave him a side eye.

“Have a great day at school, Ellie.” You smiled and rubbed your belly.

“You’re going somewhere?” Joel put on his jacket as you tried to wear your shoes.

“I’m meeting Maria.” You struggled wearing your shoes. You couldn’t tie your shoes because of how big your belly was.

“Girl’s day out?” Joel crouched to help you tie your shoes.

“Uh-huh.” 

“Done.” He groaned as he stood back. You could hear a crack from his knee.

“Thank you, darling.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Anything for you.” He kissed your lips and went to work.

You went home after your day with Maria and heard Joel’s groan and a loud thud. 

“Joel?” You walked slowly upstairs.

“What are you doing?” You saw Joel was placing a bed on your bed.

“Got this for you.” He wiped his sweat on his forehead.

“A new bed?” You were confused.

“Yeah. You told me you missed sleeping on your stomach. Thought this might work.” He put his hands on his waist proud of his invention.

You wondered what was so special about the bed than a normal bed so you step closer to look. It was a bed with a hole the size of your stomach in the middle. 

“Did you make this by yourself?” You laughed.

“Uh-huh. I’m smart, ain’t I?” He put on a proud face.

“It’s brilliant.” You let out a tear from your eyes and hugged him.

“Hop on. Why don’t you try it? See if it works?” 

You hopped on the bed which was slightly higher so Joel helped you. You slowly laid down on your stomach and put your belly right in the hole. 

“Hmm.” You rested your head on the bed. 

“I missed this feeling.” You closed your eyes.

“It fits.” Joel threw a fist in the air.

“Thank you, baby. You’re the best husband in the world.” You gestured Joel to come closer and you gave him a kiss.

“Anytime.” He smiled.

“By the way, Sam’s having a birthday party at the bar tomorrow night. They’re inviting us. Do you want to come?” You asked Joel.

“Will Tommy come?” Joel would go if his brother goes.

“I think so. As far as I know, Maria told me she’ll go.” You shrugged.

“Alright, I’ll go. But me and Tommy will be working a bit late tomorrow.”

“That’s fine. I can go there with Maria and we can meet at the bar.” 

At the bar

“It’s them!” You pointed as you saw Joel’s and Tommy’s figure.

“Here!” You and Maria waved your hand.

“Hey, baby.” Tommy kissed Maria.

“Did you wait long?” Joel rubbed your belly.

“Pretty long.” You smirked.

“Sorry.” Joel kissed you.

The waitress came and offered drinks. You forgot you were pregnant for a second and instinctively grabbed a glass of alcohol.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not drinking alcohol, mama.” Joel snatched the glass you were holding.

“Oh! Right! Forgot I’m pregnant for a second.” You covered your face in embarrassment.

Everybody laughed.

“Let’s go to Sam and say happy birthday.” You held Joel’s hand.

“Sam! Happy birthday you birthday boy!” You hugged him.

“Thank you! You’re really big!” His eyes widened as he saw your belly.

“Few more weeks to go.” You laughed.

You, Joel and Sam had a chat for a while then Sam went to talk with his other friends. 

“Shit! Joel..” You squeezed Joel’s wrist.

He quickly turned his head to the direction where you were looking. It was Josh. He was walking towards you and Joel and you had eye contact with him. You hadn’t seen him for a long long time and suddenly he showed up now. He looked different from the last time you saw him. He looked awful, his eyes had dark circles, hair and facial hair was messy. You were trembling. You were scared of him. Especially since you were carrying Joel’s baby now. You didn’t want to risk your baby’s life for a mere psycho. 

“Let’s get out of here, baby.” Joel dragged you but you froze.

“Baby..It’s okay. I’m here. He’s not gonna hurt you.” Joel cupped your cheeks.

Josh was walking closer to you. You saw his pace was faster or was it just your imagination?

“It should have been mine!” Josh shouted as he stabbed a knife towards your belly.

You gasped as you tried to stop him from stabbing your belly. You were in pain grasping the knife with both of your hands. Blood was dripping to the floor. Joel turned to Josh and he tackled him. Joel was too late to stop him from stabbing you. Everyone’s eyes were now at you. Tommy and Maria ran towards you. 

“Are you okay?” Maria saw your bleeding hands.

You were in shock. You couldn’t feel whether the blood was from your hands or your belly. You didn’t dare to look down because you were too scared to see. What if the knife got in your belly? What if you had to lose your baby? You couldn’t live with that. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It didn’t get to your baby. You stopped it. But you need to get your hands fixed.” Maria assured you as she covered your hands with a cloth.

You closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks, and you exhaled. You slowly looked down and saw that your baby was okay. 

Meanwhile, Joel was hitting Josh over and over like he was a punching bag. He didn’t care about the fact that almost the whole town was staring at him. He was too wrathful to let someone hurt his wife and baby. The people he loved the most.

“Joel! Stop it!” Tommy tried to stop him but Joel fought him.

Josh’s face was already red with blood. You couldn’t even recognize his face. He was already unconscious and laying on the floor but Joel kept punching him. 

“Joel, baby, please..” You cried.

Joel stopped and glanced at you. His eyes were full of anger.

“Will you take me home, please?” You begged.

“Get her home, Joel. I got this.” Tommy held Joel’s shoulder.

“I’m not done with him, Tommy.” He growled as he stood up.

“Got it.” Tommy nodded.

“You okay, baby?” He put his hands on your shoulder.

“I stopped it with my hands. I’m okay.” 

“Let’s go home.” He put his arms around you and walked home.

“Wait here.” Joel sat you on the bed while he prepared a warm bath for you.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He held both of your upper arms and guided you to the bathroom.

Joel held your arm as you slowly hopped in the bathtub filled with warm water.

“Will you hold me?” You sat in the bathtub and asked him to join you.

He nodded and took off his clothes. Then he joined you in the bathtub sitting behind you. After he settled in a comfortable position, he pulled you to his chest and let you rest on his chest. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” He apologized as he raised your wounded hand and looked at it.

“It’s fine. You did your best. He didn’t hurt our baby. That’s all that matters.” 

Joel kissed your shoulder. You hissed when he rinsed your hands to the water to clean it. He helped you bathe with his palm pouring water to your body. Slowly and passionately. You went to bed with Joel after the bath and got your wound fixed.

The next day you went to the council as a victim of murder attempt. Apparently, Tommy put Josh on trial with the council. Everyone witnessed what happened so he was given punishment immediately. The town agreed to banish Josh outside Jackson. You finally felt safe now. On the other side, Joel was angry at Tommy. What he meant was for Tommy to keep Josh himself so Joel could torture Josh or even kill him himself. But Tommy knew what Joel would do so he decided to send Josh to the council. 

“Baby, he’s gone now. There’s nothing to be worried about.” You rubbed Joel’s back.

“But he’s still out there alive. I should’ve killed him. Goddamn it, Tommy.” He clenched his fist.

“Come here.” You gave him a tight hug until he calmed down.

The next few weeks were spent at your house crocheting. Joel and Ellie spent more time at home. They wanted to make sure you were doing okay since what happened at the bar. Joel and Ellie loved you so much that your safety was their priority.

You groaned as you felt pain on your back and lower abdomen. You sat on the bed and tried to massage your back. You felt wet under you so you flipped open the blanket. The bed was drenched. 

“Joel..Joel..” You panicked as you tried to wake Joel. 

“Joel! Wake up! My water broke!” You shouted.

“Huh? What? What’s wrong, baby?” Joel was still half asleep.

“The baby is co-” You groaned at the pain shooting at your back.

“Fuck! Okay, just breathe baby. Everything is gonna be fine.” He saw the bed was soaked and rubbed your back helping to ease the pain.

“I’ll be back.” Joel got off from the bed.

“Don’t fucking leave me.” You were panting.

“Okay, okay.” He went back to sit on the edge of the bed beside you.

“Ellie! Ellie! Come here!” He shouted to wake Ellie up. 

“Ellie! Goddamn it! Hurry the fuck up! Come here!” Joel was panicking as he tried to soothe you by rubbing your back. You were wincing in pain.

“What the fuck?” Ellie opened the door.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?” Ellie saw you grimaced.

“Get Maria and call the midwife here! Hurry!” Joel told Ellie and Ellie ran as fast as she could.

Joel guided your breath and helped you feel comfortable throughout your labors. Ellie came with Maria and the midwife and she stayed there to comfort you. Joel sat behind you and you rested your head on his chest. 

“I feel like pushing.” You told your midwife as you tried to breathe.

You started pushing and the pain hit you like hell. You groaned, screamed and cried in pain. 

“I can’t. I can’t. Please, it hurts. Joel, please, make it stop.” You cried as you squeezed Joel’s arms that were hugging you on your chest. 

Joel wanted to cry. He couldn’t see you suffering in pain. But he should stay strong. He should be your rock so he kept telling you encouraging words and supporting you. He wanted to be as much help as he could.

Your midwife guided you to push until you were crowning. You took short breaths and blew them out through your mouth. Joel did the same to guide your breaths. 

“It’s a girl. Congratulations!” Your midwife held your baby and put her on your chest.

“You did amazing, baby. I’m proud of you.” Joel tucked your wet hair to your ear and kissed your temple.

“She has your nose. She’s beautiful.” You looked at Joel as tears fell down to your cheeks.

Joel cut the cord and then your midwife and Maria helped you get cleaned up. Joel and Ellie couldn’t take their eyes off the baby as you were getting ready to breastfeed. Joel carried the baby and gently put her to your arms so you could breastfeed her.

“You look so beautiful.” He kissed your forehead.

The next few days, Joel let you rest. He didn’t let you do much work besides breastfeeding. He insisted on doing most of the baby work and he just wanted you to recover well. 

“I’ll get her.” You heard the baby cry when you were eating dinner.

“Let me do it.” Joel stood up from his chair.

“No, no. You’ve been doing it for the past few days. Let me.” You stopped him. He sat back.

“Shh.Shh..” You cradled your baby in the dining room. 

The baby kept crying even though she was already fed and her diaper was already changed. You kept cradling her that you forgot to eat your dinner. 

“You need to eat.” Joel shoved a spoonful to your mouth.

“Thank you.” You opened your mouth and munched.

“Baby..” Joel called you.

“Hmm?” You looked at him with tired eyes.

“I haven’t told you this but thank you for giving me a second chance to be a father and a husband. I have two beautiful daughters now. A perfect wife. I swear on my life to keep my girls safe.” His eyes were watery as he put his arms around you.

“I’m sure Sarah is proud of you up there.” You leaned in to give him a kiss.

“I love you so much it hurts.” He kissed you back.

“I love you, too.” 

And they lived happily ever after. (Let’s pretend the golf scene doesn’t exist)

The End

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @stevengmybeloved @happinessinthebeing @angelicbbsblog @aheadfullofsteverogers @mxtokko @bebe07011 @brockl33 @sarahhxx03

[nostalgicnarrator]

Over Hill and Under Mountain

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Word Count: 5,269

Parings: Thorn X Bilbo

Description:

Bilbo decides to follow Thorin’s example and decides to visit Erebor, but somehow the trip doesn’t go as planned and he’s going to be very, very late.

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

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─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

Mention of bodily Injury and description of injury, he is hurt, maybe blood, continue with caution and care.

Note:

Listen to me, I’m still trying to find my style when writing and I spent a really long time on this to make sure it was okay, if you see anything that might be confusing or something that is so horribly wrong don’t hesitate to tell me, I value criticism and wish to grow my writing ability. Also I kinda really struggled with the last bit but I think it’s okay-anyway, till next time.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Bilbo sat at the edge of his garden, his pipe in hand. The smell of his sweet tobacco wrapped around him in ribbons as he blew smoke rings. Bilbo watched as faunts chased each other down the road towards the marketplace that was being prepared for the coming festival.

For as long as Bilbo could remember, each season Hobbits from all over the rolling hills of the shire would come far and wide to see the festivities of Hobbiton. His favorite festival has truly always been the summer festival.

If Bilbo closes his eyes, often he could remember the bright colors of the fireworks, the food and games he’d once enjoyed. That isn’t to say the autumn festival wasn’t lovely in its own ways.

Bilbo always remembered how the rolling hills took on shades of tan and brown. And how the farms begin to grow crops as colorful as the leaves that fell. The autumn festival was always so full of warmth and fun trinkets and full of rich food.

Bilbo hums to himself, pulling himself from the distant memories of his childhood. He watched from his bench as wheelbarrows were filled with squashes and other crops, and then wheeled off to the market stalls.

He closed his eyes as a burst of crisp air nipped at his nose. Bilbo loved the smells the festival would bring. He couldn’t ever forget the smells of pies and grand foods as they wafted through the air, warming anyone who caught a whiff.

Bilbo sighs softly ‘shame’ he thought to himself fluttering his eyes open once more, ‘Thorin would have loved the festival’. Bilbo hopped up and tapped out his pipe before heading inside, the sweetness of his tobacco following him as he went.

‘Thorin’s tobacco,’ he smiled to himself, ‘Always smelled earthy, and bitter then lemons…I never did like that cheaper stuff, but I suppose it matches him.’ Bilbo thought as he moved through his cozy home.

He could hardly stop himself as his thoughts kept turning to Thorin. The memory of the dwarf’s deep, gravelly laugh, the wrinkle in his cheeks, the twinkle in his piercing blue eyes. That last thought made Bilbo’s heart ache and twist in a strange way.

‘What a silly dwarf,’ Bilbo mused, ‘Coming all the way to the Shire just to see me.’ He shook his head, a fond smile finding his lips. ‘He’s so proud of his kingdom, I’ve never seen anyone so proud of something. Not even Hamfast, I wonder how things are in Erebor now’

Bilbo paused, looking out the window, he could see the trees, how their leaves began to turn yellow and fall as the wind shook them softly. ‘It’s been months since Thorin visited…Perhaps it’s time I returned the favor.’

The thought buzzed in his mind, like a fly in the ear, it grew stronger with each passing moment. Then he grinned like a fool. ‘visit Thorin, huh? I suppose It is about time I saw the Lonely Mountain with my own eyes.’ Bilbo thought as he quickly shuffled away picking up some parchment on his way to his writing desk.

A raven Thorin had sent to Bilbo sat not far from him, the bird ruffled though his feathers, cleaning them gently. “Hello, Hugin,” Bilbo greeted the young raven as he began to write rather quickly.

Thorin had gotten quite fed up with the amount of time Bilbo’s letters seem to take. So much so that on one particular night he found a raven tapping on his window with a note.

Bilbo had taken to taking care of this young raven, as Hugin more often stayed in the shire near Bilbo. It was his job after all to carry letters for the hobbit.

Thorin had written a quick note explaining to him how a Raven carried quicker than most other creatures, and Bilbo agreed with that, seeing as how mail carriers can take as long as they liked with such things.

By now the young raven had stopped his ruffling and hopped a bit closer, tilting his head to look at Bilbo. “Hello, Master Baggins. Are you writing to the Mountain King again?” Hugin asked and leaned forward curiously to watch Bilbo’s pin.

Bilbo nodded. “Yes, feel up for flying?” He asked, Bilbo ticked his tongue and scribbled something out.

“Always, Master Baggins!” Hugin flapped his wings in excitement and then tilted his head once more, “I am the quickest of the ravens! I’ll get there faster than the fastest of horses!” Hugin ruffled his feathers up and clicked, puffing up proudly.

Bilbo smiled, this raven often reminded him of Kíli. He has always been the one to immediately volunteer to do things. Kíli was never one to like being left out of things if he had any say in the matter.

‘Thorin never seemed to like that about his sister's youngest son.’ Bilbo couldn’t help the Sudden twist to his heart, it had only been a few months since Thorin’s visit, yet to Bilbo it felt like years yet again.

He looked down at his letter quickly, he sighed before a fond smile found his lips on again. ‘His parting for his journey back home was so, bittersweet…’ he thought as he finished his letter quickly, before waving it a little to dry, folding it up, and sealing it with a wax stamp.

“Well then” started the hobbit, after a seemingly long moment of silence. “you better get to flying. This needs to reach Thorin as fast as possible.” Bilbo held out the letter and looked to the raven as he finished speaking, his smile still tugging at his lips

“What’s it about?” asked the juvenile raven as he took the paper quickly.

“Nosy little bird, if you must know, I’m warning Thorin that I will be visiting very soon.” Bilbo said with a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

The young raven made a noise-one Bilbo had come to know as one of excitement-Hugin hardly waited another beat as he flew out of the window giving Bilbo barely enough time to open it.

Bilbo smiled excitedly and closed his window and sat down a moment silently ‘I truly hope Thorin won’t mind’ he hummed at his thought and began organizing his desk.

Once it was somewhat straight, he began to get up and straighten some more things around his smial ‘it is such short notice’ Bilbo made his way to the kitchen to make tea as he continued with his thoughts. ‘I hope he has time to prepare-‘

He paused, then his eyes widened, he gasped and put a hand to his head “wait, what am I doing I have to prepare!” He said out loud to no one, and just like that he was off.

He abandoned his tea pot as quickly as he had grabbed it and he found himself quite basically running around his burrow to pack. Bilbo knew that really, he should wait for Thorin to tell him that he got his letter, though Bilbo had a feeling his letter left little room for discussion on whether or not he was coming.

And before Bilbo realized anything he had on his blue coat he had gotten from the dwarfs, the cloak Thorin had given him draped over his shoulders held by a familiar clasp, and Sting strapped on his belt.

He remembers when Thorin gave it to him ‘he was so adamant that I take it’ Bilbo thought to himself as he put extra clothes in his pack. ‘Said he didn’t want me to get cold…’ he smiled a little more at that thought.

Thorin had walked Bilbo all the way back to the shire after they had settled after the battle for Erebor. Gandalf had offered to take him at first, seeing as Thorin was a little busy but when the king under the mountain heard Bilbo was heading home he had raced to catch the hobbit and offered to take him instead

Blibo found his cheeks warming up slightly and his face tugging his smile till it lit up his face. He pressed his hand to his cheek gently and sighs ‘Thorin is such a sweet friend’ Bilbo could feel his smile drop slightly at that thought.

Bilbo focused on the world around him once again, Bilbo blinked slightly in surprise as he found himself out of the rolling hills he calls home and on a shaggy pony already on his way to Bree. He smiled once again as he felt his excitement bubbling up within him.

After a few days of traveling Bilbo suddenly remembered why he had not visited sooner, Bilbo grumbled as he wiped his nose with his handkerchief. He never did like riding ponies; all the hair and dust did something foul to his allergies.

Bilbo huffed as he thought to himself. ‘Miserable, quite miserable. Oh, why did I think this a good idea?’ he thought dourly.

He huffed again. “I blame Thorin for this,” he muttered as he blew his nose. “Coming to see me in the Shire, bringing such fantastical stories.” He grumbled to no one but himself.

The Hobbit groaned and stared up at the sky, he couldn’t see much of it but what the trees allowed to filter through their leaves. It was getting a tad but cloudy. He huffed, if it rained, that would truly put the topping of this fowl afternoon.

He was beginning to miss his home, his warm hearth, his books and maps, his armchair- ‘it’s not too late’ Bilbo’s mind supplied to him, ‘you can go back tell Thorin you had changed your mind.’

But then his thoughts turned to Thorin once more, of his blue eyes, of his warm smiles, the ones he only reserved for those rare occasions, of his company, how Bilbo’s heart flips and skips every time he sees Thorin. And he shakes his head, chasing the thoughts away.

“Come now Bilbo” he chastised himself “you are a Baggins, of Bag End, you can do this, you have once before you can again!” He held his head a little higher as he spoke to himself.

But before he could do much more thinking or talking to himself, he sneezed, Bilbo groaned and wiped his nose once more, ‘I can not wait for when I stop sneezing’ he thought, ‘irritating business really’ he thought once more.

It seems the world was against him doing anything really, as his mind was interrupted by the sound of hooves behind him and he turned to face the noise. a beautiful white mare came to view and an awfully familiar gray clad wizard.

“Gandalf.” Bilbo greeted kindly, despite his foul mood and stuffy voice. Truly, that the moment he wanted to tell the wizard to kinda sod off, but alas, he was still a Baggins and manners seem to run in his blood-especially when it comes to the gray wizard.

“Bilbo Baggins,” Gandalf rumbled, “what in Middle-earth are you doing this far from the Shire?” Gandalf spurred his horse to pick up beside the Hobbit’s pony.

Bilbo hummed and smiled at the wizard. “I was about to ask you something similar, Gandalf. I am going to visit my dwarfs.”

“Your dwarfs?” Gandalf mused, raising a bushy brow, a sly smile tugging at his lips. “Are you now? Alone? Do you truly think that’s a good idea, my dear hobbit?”

Bilbo shrugged, trying to appear as if this wasn’t the least bit nerve-racking. “Thorin did it. I don’t see the issue.”

Gandalf chuckled softly,“Thorin is a well traveled warrior and a king. And while you’ve faced orcs, goblins, and a dragon, I dare say, you seem to struggle with dusty roads and grumpy ponies.” Gandalf said, his tone teasing and riddled with mischief.

Bilbo bristled slightly but kept his voice as polite as one can be to such an irritating wizard, “I’ve managed quite well on my own so far, thank you very much! I can handle this journey as well as anyone else!” Bilbo all but yelled in reply.

Bilbo could see as Gandalf’s smile softened a small amount into something bit more genuine, “Oh, I have no doubt about your capabilities, Bilbo Baggins” said Gandalf, his tone remaining as teasing as before. “But I wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun. Besides, someone has to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble.”

Bilbo opened his mouth to protest, but Gandalf interrupted, “And I’m sure Thorin wouldn’t mind if I tag along. In fact, he might insist upon it.” Gandalf said, sounding a tad more serious this time.

Seeing the glint in Gandalf’s eyes, Bilbo sighed, knowing good and well it was futile to argue. “Very well, if you insist.” Bilbo said.

Gandalf’s grin widened. “Oh, I do insist. Now, let’s be off before you change your mind and decide to return to the comforts of Bag End.”

Blibo widened his eyes and gave Gandalf a look then he turned away and huffed, ‘this will be a long journey indeed.’ He thought grumpily.

The days seemed to pass a tad bit faster than Bilbo thought and he had found himself not entirely upset over Gandalf’s presence.

Often during the night, when they would camp, the wizard would tell him stories of far-off lands and ancient times. other nights, often the more longer feeling ones, they would sit in comfortable silence, smoking their pipes, blowing smoke rings that would blend into the crisp night air.

The days came to Bilbo much faster than before, as they rode through lush valleys and over towering rocky hillsides. Sometimes Gandalf would point out places he thought the hobbit may find interesting and share snippets of history.

Bilbo began to suspect it was because Gandalf was trying to negate Bilbo firm complaining for the 70th time this trip, even then Bilbo couldn’t help but feel wonder as they rode

Bilbo had passed through these lands before, more than a year ago now. And it seemed to be the same dusty roads that stretched on for what felt like centuries. But, as Gandalf continued to talk about the landscape, it began to feel like so much more.

He began to ache a long time ago now, but whether it was from sitting on his pony to long or shiver the colder temperatures, he did not know.

As the cold settled across the lands he and Gandalf traveled, Bilbo couldn’t help but to worry about Hugin. And with how fast it felt the winter was approaching, he feared the worst. For not only Hugin but Gandalf and himself as well.

One could starve, or freeze in conditions like this. Then when the nights he’s longer, Bilbo would often find himself each evening, gazing up into the darkening sky, hoping to catch maybe a glimpse of Hugin even if it was pointless to do so.

“I hope Hugin is okay…and that Thorin received my letter,” Bilbo muttered, as they settled down to rest near the warmth of a fire. “It’s been a few days and Hugin should be there by now but I can’t stop thinking that maybe he isn’t, maybe he’s freezing somewhere…”

Gandalf looked at him over the rim of his pipe. “Ravens are resilient creatures. If anyone can make it through these conditions, it’s a raven.”

Bilbo nodded and relaxed at Gandalf’s words, ‘he’s right’ Bilbo thought, fishing his one pipe from his coat and lighting it ‘though he seems to be more often than not most days’ Bilbo thought with a huff.

On one particularly cold day, as they were making their way through dense forested trails, Gandalf suddenly slowed his horse to a halt and raised a hand to stop Bilbo. “What is it?” Bilbo whispered, feeling a slight worrisome unease creep into his stomach.

Gandalf’s eyes scanned the trees, before he spoke. “We’re being followed.” Gandalf said as he turned his head some more.

‘Being followed!?’ Bilbo gripped the reins of his pony tightly, ‘of course we are! Of course we’re being followed!because nothing can go right for long can it’ he thought to himself as he struggled to push his panic away.

Bilbo snapped his eyes to the tree line and whipped his head around trying to catch a peek of anything in the shadows of the forest. “B-By whom?” He asked, trying not to sound afraid

“Orcs,” Gandalf said quietly. “A small band, I believe. They’ve been tracking us for a few miles now.”

Bilbo’s hand instinctively went to Sting. “W-What do we do?” Bilbo asked worriedly as he looked at the wizard. “Gandalf!” Bilbo whines as Gandalf sat quietly for a moment too long in the hobbit’s opinion.

Gandalf’s eyes twinkled with a familiar spark of mischief, one Bilbo strangely found comforting. “We give them a surprise they won’t soon forget.” Gandalf said.

Suddenly, Gandalf spurred his horse forward, and Bilbo scrambled to follow not wanting to be left behind. They rode hard and fast, the trees blurring past them as they made their way off the path deeper into the forest.

Eventually, Gandalf seemed to find where he had wanted to take them, they stopped in a clearing, and Gandalf dismounted swiftly. “We make our stand here,” he said, his voice calm and steady.

Bilbo faltered slightly. “O-our stand- what- but, but Gandalf! I- what if-!“ Bilbo stuttered desperately trying to reason with the wizard.

“Bilbo Baggins,” thundered the wizard, “Where did all the courage go from all those days ago? Had you truly no faith?” Gandalf asked, the start of angrier lacing his words.

Blibo shrank a bit into his saddle as he was still sitting on his pony, “I-of course I do Gandalf!-” Bilbo said quickly.

“Then get off that pony my dear Bilbo, and draw your sword.” Gandalf said harsher then he probably meant to as he turned his attention back to the forest around them.

Bilbo’s eyes widened-he nodded quickly as he scrambled off his pony, drawing Sting and positioning himself beside Gandalf. They waited in tense silence, Bilbo twitched at every noise or sound.

Suddenly, the forest erupted from its silence to a more chaotic noise as the orcs burst into the clearing, their weapons gleaming in the diminishing light of the sun.

Gandalf raised his staff, a blinding flash of light emanating from its tip and sending the orcs into a more unorganized frenzy.

Bilbo moves on instinct as he lunges himself forward, his sword clashing glinting in the light as he strikes down the nearest orc.

The battle, if you can call 6 Orcs attacking such a thing, was over swiftly and soon the clearing was quiet once more. Bilbo looked around making sure it was safe.

Bilbo stood panting, his heart beating hard in his chest, it shook his hands as he still held Sting. When Gandalf patted Bilbo's shoulder gently he jumped and looked up at the wizard, a proud smile was on Gandalf’s face.

“Well done, Bilbo. You may have the spirit of a Took in you yet.” Said Gandalf jokingly before a much more soft smile found its way on the wizard’s face, “your mother would be proud.” Gandalf nearly whispered to the hobbit.

Bilbo grinned as pride settled in his stomach. He nods softly and let out a relieved chuckle, “I-thank you Gandalf, though I doubt she’d Like the idea of her sun running around fighting Orcs” Bilbo said softly

“Nonsense my dear hobbit!” Gandalf replied, a smile pulling on his face as his eyes twinkled with that knowing mischievous look, “she’d be quite proud. Now let’s get going before all light is lost, we do not want to lose the road.”

“R-right yes!” Bilbo said as he sheath Sting and quickly got on his pony before following Gandalf back to the path.

Gandalf looked down at Bilbo as he came to step beside Gandalf, the wizard chuckled and shook his head. “Fret not my dear boy” Gandalf chuckled in a teasing tone, “soon, we will soon find ourselves in much more hospitable surroundings.”

Then, no more than a day later, seemingly spurred on by those very words themselves, their luck seemed to turn against them as the weather worsened and rain began to fall.

It was a cold, unrelenting drizzle that soaked through their cloaks and made the roads slippery as the ground became mud. Bilbo huddled deeper into his cloak that Thorin gave him.

Even in the abysmal conditions he couldn’t help but think of Thorin, ‘He had begun to grow his beard back out again’ his mind supplied, seemingly looking for a distraction from the freezing cold rain that pelted him.

As his pony trudged on though the thick mud he began to wonder how long it had grown since the last time he had seen Thorin, ‘he truthfully looked quite dashing’ Bilbo thought as a bit of warmth found his face as he thought of his kingly dwarf. He was shook from his thoughts when his pony whinnied skittishly. She had slid in the mud.

He looked off the side of the path and at the sheer drop below him and then to Gandalf, even the wizard’s horse had been struggling in the mud. He opened his mouth to call for the wizard but before Bilbo could say a word to Gandalf, his pony suddenly reared back harshly, it threw Bilbo off.

The wind wiped in his ears as he tumbled down a steep hillside. Bilbo desperately tried to stop himself as he crashed into various things he couldn’t really make out.

His head hit harshly on a rock and he wasn’t really sure of anything else anymore except for pain that shot through him, a sharp, explosive agony that left him gasping desperately for air he couldn’t seem to catch as he rolled to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

He struggled to push himself up; his mind struggled sluggishly as pain radiating through him with each movement. When he tried to breathe, fresh waves of hurt coursed through him, worse than the last.

Bilbo was faintly aware of his legs shaking. When Gandalf’s voice called from him he tried to understand the words tumbling for the wizards mouth as he made his way to Bilbo

Bilbo squeezed his eyes shut as his vision tilted and his legs buckled under him, when he opened his eyes again his vision was swimming violently.

Bilbo blinked trying to clear his vision, ‘Thorin,’ Bilbo thought desperately as he clawed at the earth. ‘I’ll be late; I need to get up,’ his brain supplied to him, he let out a whine as panic gripped him.

He was going to be late? He didn’t want to be late, he wanted to be with Thorin- ‘maybe, maybe he could make the pain go away- make it better’ he thought to himself

Thorin always makes him feel better, always makes him feel happy. He liked feeling happy. He liked that Thorin makes him feel happy.

Bilbo faintly could make out Gandalf’s voice over all the thoughts crowding in his head. His vision blurred again as his heart beat pounded in his head making catching his breath so much harder.

Bilbo whined and closed his eyes, he let out a short sob as the pain riddled him. He didn’t want to be late. Thorin would be so sad if he was late.

He clawed at the mud beneath him, it began to feel slightly warm as he dug his hands into it, it squished between his fingers leaving a strange feeling between his fingers.

‘I can’t be late, can’t, Thorin,’ he thought desperately as he pushed himself harder to move. A sob wracked his body harshly as a hand took his arm and scooped him up.

Warmth wrapped around him as the hands pulled him close, Bilbo let a whine tumble from his mouth, he clutched onto the cloth his face was pushed against.

His mind was struggling as it began to foggy over, but each jostle and fresh waves of pain sobered his mind even only slightly. He felt like he needed to throw up as a headache pounded harder than before. Bilbo felt himself being moved onto something tall and the world around him was a blur.

Bilbo felt his mind give as he squeezed his eyes shut when the world around him moved dizzily, things began to feel fuzzy and distant, then all at once it stopped and he felt like he was floating.

The first thing Bilbo could remember after a long while of floating in only darkness was that he felt warm again. He cracked his eyes open dizzily, finding himself on something soft and warm.

He rolled his head to the side weakly, trying to make sense of anything. He could make out blurry figures moving around him and could hear noises and voices, foreign to him, he could almost recall one of the voices though, it felt familiar, it sounded familiar.

Bilbo felt someone touch his arm, and he let out a loud whine, before he weakly kicked his feet to try and get away from the unknown blob.

He couldn’t make sense of the sounds and voices around him. He pulled his arm away as a cold thin hand took it.

‘No’ he thought- or did he say that out loud, maybe he did as the blobs stopped trying to grab at him ‘Thorin, I want him, please’ a sob bubbled up in his throat.

He grasps at whatever was beneath his hands he whines again, he wanted Thorin, he wanted Thorin, Thorin would make all the pain disappear and maybe hold him till he felt better again.

Bilbo couldn’t stop the loud, hiccupping sob that pushed its way up his throat. Bilbo started shaking violently as his pain began to grow worse.

When Bilbo blinked his eyes open a familiar shape moved over him-Bilbo grabbed for them desperately, like a child would with a blanket.

The face of the person became much clearer, “Gandalf '' he heard himself cry out, he let out another sob but this one was laced in relief. “Get him-plea-ase g-get him!” Bilbo could hear himself beg as he gripped the wizard’s cloak.

“Bilbo, calm down, my boy. You are alright,” Gandalf said quietly. He pressed a hand to Bilbo’s head as he took the hobbit’s smaller hands in one of his.

“You’re hurt. You need help immediately,” Gandalf said. His voice was calm and soothing and Bilbo couldn’t help but to calm down, even if it was only a little bit.

He squeezed his eyes shut, Bilbo shook his head and sobbed, “Please, Gandalf… Thorin, please-please”

Gandalf’s voice sounded pleading as Bilbo felt him squeeze the hobbits hands gently, “Bilbo-” Gandalf tried to say before Bilbo interrupted him.

“Ple-please, Thorin, please! I need him-Gandalf, please!” Bilbo's voice shook and he opened his eyes and pleaded to the wizard.

Gandalf froze then his face fell into a serious look. “I will do what I can, Bilbo. I promise.”

And that was that. Bilbo couldn’t recall much after that, his memory either being too blurry or his eyes being too full of tears to really take anything in

Bilbo had no idea how long he was in that state of mind, drifting in and out of it like a leaf lost to the raging waters of a river.

On one particular occasion when he could, he could hardly make sense out of anything around him till Óin walked in quickly, Bilbo's mind lurched suddenly, sending a shot through him that mhm feel more awake then he had in a long time

Bilbo looked at Óin as the older Dwarf looked at him with enough clear worry that made Bilbo’s stomach turn knots and flip. Bilbo reached out to him.

Oin took his hand gently, “laddie, your going to be alright I’m here now, let get you patched up how's that sound?” His voice was quiet, like he was trying to offer comfort to the hobbit.

Bilbo hiccuped and tried to fight crying again and he reached up to hug Óin. Óin quickly scooped the hobbit into a hug.

“your alright lad, your alright…” Óin mumbled into his hair as he hugged the hobbit and for the first time in a long while Bilbo began to relax.

When Óin released Bilbo he immediately began to dart around the room gathering things or preparing others at a speed that was almost surprising to Bilbo.

Bilbo watched Óin work with amazement, and in a matter of minutes Óin was beginning to clean Bilbo up. Bilbo stopped Óin as the healer was cleaning him up. He needed to know.

Bilbo interrupted Óin as the dwarf began to open his mouth to ask what was wrong, “W-where's Thorin? D-did he get my-my letter?” Bilbo asked weakly as he let Óin go.

Oin made a face that told Bilbo he didn’t hear him, he repeated himself again a little louder when had Óin asked him to. 

“Aye lad,” Óin said as he nodded, he took a rag to Bilbo's head causing the hobbit to flinch and the dwarf to give him a look. “Thorin got your letter lad, don't worry” Óinsaid as he got back to cleaning the wound on Bilbo's head.

“When we got Gandalf’s letter. Thorin was worried, so he sent me ahead.” Óin tossed the rag into a bowl, he moved to dig through his bag pulling a needle and thread out and coming back over. “Came as fast as a pony would ride, even had some help from the mirkwood elves surprisingly enough”

“Wh-what are you going to do with that?” Bilbo asked shakily, Óin looked at him with a look one might give the village idiot.

“'What do you think I'm going to do lad?” Óin asked his voice laced with mirth, “You have a good gash across your head, I need to sew it up before it gets infected” Óin said as he threaded the needle.

Óin huffed and moved closer now before taking Bilbo’s head “It looks like they've just been wrapping it up, hmph, that's a good way to get an infection, and one is already trying to take hold” the dwarf huffed as he began to stitch up bilbo’s head. Bilbo flinched and whined as he did.

Óin continued stitching, his movements quick and efficient. Bilbo eventually stopped wincing and Óin finished his work. He then checked Bilbo's arm and the smaller injuries before bandaging him up.

“I think you'll be alright lad- though it seems you may have a small fever, but it should break in a day or two” Óin told him as he patted the hobbits arm comfortingly. Bilbo nodded at Óin’s words and began to relax,

“A-And when will the others be here…?” Bilbo asked him. Óin hummed in response.

“Not sure lad, not sure when they left after I scramble to come here.” Óin said he got up and began to pack and clean things back up. “Though they can’t be too far behind, maybe in a day or two.”

Bilbo nodded at that. Óin pointed at him and puffed his chest a bit as he glared at the hobbit- but Bilbo saw no real malice behind it. “You worry about getting some rest lad, I’ll wake you if they show up.”

Bilbo chuckles and nods softly; he had already started to feel a tad drowsy, so he doesn't have to wait far too much longer before he nodded off, with dreams of lonely mountains, distant places and of his friends.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

I’ve finally finished this second part, and I’m sorry it took so long to do but as I have said before unfortunately it’s not everything I wanted to write, I split it up for my own mental wellbeing. That means I’ll be making part three and if you like this and part one, then keep an eye out for three. Now to @ people, because for some unknown reason you people want to know when I’m being a heathen.

@bllbabaggins @m4yh4ps

[crazylittlejester]

bro. i am in the same boat as you.

asfhdjkss seeing you stress and become disappointed about whumptober is making ME FEEL THE SAME......

feeling upset about your writing and all the prompts not being correctly put down into words can be very hard and complicated!! i get it!!!

it's totally normal to feel that way and i assure you, it's okay!

just know that, even if it is your own decision, you don't have to feel obligated to do all 32 days. that's a bunch of work for someone and a whole lot of planning and writing and that can effect someone's energy and mental health. i appreciate your effort in trying to do it though! but please, don't get worried about producing so many mediocre fics, at the end of the day you're still writing things and im proud!!!

i saw your post about this and immediately felt bad so i hope this can help you feel even a little better... even so, i will be looking forward to anything you end up writing! you are such a fantastic author, never forget that. <3

thanks man 🫶 /gen

i have really been struggling a lot lately with this, and it’s been very hard to not get angry with myself over it because I feel like I haven’t been able to write in months and I’ve been struggling with hating most of what I write these days and I get so incredibly anxious to post anything because I feel like my ability to write and the quality of my fics has deteriorated sooo much. I’ve had my ao3 acc since 2018 and every year I’ve kinda made a tradition almost of orphaning everything I write and starting fresh at the start of the new year because I dislike the vast majority of what I write but I realized a few months ago that I don’t think I can do that this year- this is certainly the most attention my fics have ever gotten and I think at least one person would come yell at me in my asks if i disappeared off the face of the earth never to write for LU again allddkkd

its just very hard not to feel upset about being burnt out for so many months, and it’s hard to see how engagement has been down and have to remind myself it’s not because i suck, it’s literally just because i’ve been making less content. of course engagement would be down, the main reason most people interact with me is BECAUSE I write or do analysis posts or make content, so if im not putting out as much as i used to then that tracks and makes sense, but it’s hard to stop the intrusive thoughts sometimes. It is certainly a fight to not feel useless when I can’t do the one thing I’m supposed to be doing with this blog

anyways… it makes me really happy that there are at least a few people who will read whatever i throw up onto ao3, and all of you who regularly read the things i write and send me asks n such genuinely make me so happy. all of you are awesome

and thank you for this, it was really kind and sweet of you. i hope you have a good day, remember to take care of yourself and get some water n food 🫶

*wet cough* anyway *sniffle* y’all wanna see my tav…? /j *kicks a rock*

[sitp-recs]

Save the Date by @mallstars

Harry/Draco (2023, Explicit, 123k)

In the twelve years after the war, Harry attends sixteen weddings. As friends and acquaintances vow their lives to one another, he watches quietly from the sidelines. Step by step, Harry pieces himself back together, builds a life from the wreckage of his past and falls, slowly and thoroughly, for Draco Malfoy. A story told in sixteen parts, of patient and transformative love, of queerness, of reaching out and holding on. Featuring plenty of pining, Gilderoy Lockhart getting married in a fever dream of glitter and product placement, and Rita Skeeter spitting a steady stream of venom at Harry and Draco's every move.

“Perhaps this was how much of Divination worked. Showing you something you wanted, or didn't want, and urging you along a path. Sitting in the freezing ground on a Bulgarian mountain as the sun commenced its journey up the sky, Harry made a decision. He would get to know someone, the way he knew Ron and Hermione. Better, even, if he was capable of that. It was evident, really, who he wanted that person to be - and Padma seemed to approve. It had to be Draco Malfoy.”

Since I’ve been talking and getting asks about my most recent read I’ve decided this would be a good opportunity to write a brand new rec, and hopefully send more people on their way to this story. I’ve been in the mood for longer fics lately but it’s getting harder and harder to binge anything over 30k, so instead of pressuring myself to rush through it I’ve decided to take my sweet time and embrace the experience over the past week.

Curiously, I found this fic thanks to the author herself! We bonded over our shared interest in a niche fic kink (isn’t that how it always starts!) and she mentioned that earlier this year she published her first fic, one she was very proud of. Naturally I had to ask for a link to check it out and I’m so happy that I did. This story is a long, aching and deeply emotional love letter to Harry, carefully exploring his trauma and post-war struggles in such a compassionate way it gave me a lump in the throat. From dealing with his childhood abuse and a general lack of sense of purpose after the war, to coming to terms with his fame and sexuality to finally allowing himself to be happy and fulfill his resolution: getting to know someone, deeply. I love how that scene puts everything into motion, giving the fic a magical and serendipitous tone that helped me get through the angsty slow burn knowing that Drarry was more than endgame, it was inevitable. The tea leaves willed so!!!!

We follow Harry’s melancholy and introspective POV for about 12 years, each one marked by a different wedding he attends. There’s this weary wistfulness about the way he sees things that really touched me, as he struggles to find his place and pines on for Draco. We celebrate the friends and acquaintances we get to know through his eyes, one wedding at a time - and what a fantastic cast! I especially loved seeing more of Angelina as she’s not usually explored in fic. From Blaise’s to Lockhart’s to Ron’s to Hagrid’s, each wedding ceremony offers a new setting for Harry’s self-reflection and advances the Drarry agenda offering him new ways to get to know Draco and himself. They don’t always meet or talk but Draco’s always at the back of his mind, even before the resolution is made, and I found that quite romantic!

I wasn’t expecting this fic to span over so many years but instead of never-ending pain where you don’t quite understand why they can’t kiss and make out already, Harry’s pining is soft and tentative; it allows him to grow, explore his own sexuality and learn how to be comfortable in his own skin before reaching out to Draco. Despite being unavailable for some time, we don’t really need Draco’s POV to know he’s aching for Harry just as desperately. But we do get a glimpse of his mind through their correspondence, which is how they actually fall in love.

Watching their friendship blossom through the letters made me so soft and happy I didn’t want it to end. I think that was my favourite chapter and and I’m not even that much of an epistolary enthusiast! But their written exchanges create the most delicious anticipation and oh, when they finally get together they’re both so sure and devoted to each other it feels earned and right. I love how the fic paces the progression of Harry’s initial obsession towards a calmer, reserved and patient love. Just like he wished many years before, he gets to know someone deeply: this reformed and fascinating tea shop owner Draco, who adores his mom, is there for his friends, says Harry’s name with adoration and has a fondness for flowers and owls 🥹

If you’re looking for a cathartic pining!Harry journey, with gentle slow burn and satisfying payoff - the endearments! the smut! be still my heart - this long fic is an absolute treat. Check it out today then let’s get started on @mallstars’s new time loop wip!

Read on AO3!

[fantasyinallforms]

I won't lie. I was really nervous about this one. I've never written Thranduil/ Bard or even read fics with them as the main ship. That said, I'm SO SO proud of myself for this one. In my opinion, at least it turned out to be much better than I thought it might, and I was really feeling the moment when I finished writing it.

I will put this on AO3 as a one-shot, not because it's super long it's about 1.3k, but because I'm genuinely proud that I stepped out of my comfort zone to work on something I normally wouldn't. Thank you to the Anon who suggested it! Thank you to @tolkienpinupcalendar for hosting this event! ~~~~~

Day 6- Bard/ Thranduil- Body Worship/Blowjobs

Title: Where All Others Failed

Thranduil never spent much time lingering on the forms of men. Why should he? Such small-minded creatures who lived such a short time. Just enough time to impact the world, yet not enough time to fully understand the weight of their choices. He had not even treated with a human until the second age of this world after the fall of his first home, Doriath. Yet the strength and determination of one Bard, the dragonslayer, had captured his attention where all other humans had failed.

Bard walked through the tent's open flap and threw down his quiver. “Another fight over supplies. People tire of the cleanup and the smell of dead orcs. I can not blame them, for I tire of it myself.” 

“Yet you do not look or smell as if you’ve been hauling orc bodies out of your new town all day,” Thranduil replied 

“I’ve been too busy settling disputes, and now I’m hoping to hide here if only to have some peace.” Bard closed his eyes and smiled as he leaned against the center pole of the tent. Thranduil’s fingers itched to touch as he stared at the strong frame of Bard's body. He remembered himself a moment too late as their eyes met. Quickly, he got up to pour himself wine and think of anything else. He only made it a step past the pole before Bard's arm caught him around the waist and dragged him back. 

“It always surprises me how light elves are. I would think you might float on air, but I have seen you walk atop snow drifts, so perhaps I’m not far off.” His smile was blindingly annoying, but Thranduil made no move to get away. Bard’s arms were warm and comfortable.    

“Do you forget that I am a king, and this is my tent?” He quipped back stubbornly. That only seemed to make Bard adjust to get a better grip on his waist. 

“Forget? How could I when I seem to always find said king's eyes on me.” Bard pulled him into a kiss, and when Thranduil was sufficiently distracted by the warm mouth now on his, he felt himself get walked back until he fell into his ornate high-backed chair. 

Elves were strong in a graceful way, but humans were brutish and clumsy. There was no room for patience or measure in such a short lifespan. It was new. It was terrifying. Perhaps that is why he craved the touch of impatient fingers struggling to undo the clasps on the front of his robes or why he involuntarily gasped when those strong, bruising fingers finally reached his skin. Bard had moved on from his mouth and was now nipping at his jaw, slowly making his way to his ears. How long had it been since he let someone touch him with such reverence? How long had it been since someone wanted to? A question with its answer hidden in the age of his son. He returned the affection, bringing his hands up to peel away the many layers of Bard's clothes until, finally, his hands could freely roam the strong, scared flesh of the man who was rapidly becoming too dear to him. 

He felt himself grow hot as Bard continued his assault. He tried not to whimper as the tip of his ear went into the man's mouth, and felt his pants grow tight. 

“They speak of the beauty of the elves, but they never tell you how stubborn they can be to let themselves fall apart. I can feel you resisting my temptations. If you wish me to stop, I will.” Bard leaned back, using the arms of the chair to brace himself so he could meet his eyes in question. Thranduil did not want this to stop. He still wanted to touch and to be touched. He pulled Bard back down to him. He let himself fall into this short-lived dream that could only end in heartbreak. Right now, he didn’t care. He wanted to let Bard worship him with his mouth and take pleasure in his body. Bard took this as consent and pressed on with renewed vigor until the robes fell off Thranduil's shoulders, revealing how painfully hard he had become.

Bard tucked the hair that had fallen in front of his face behind his ear with an affectionate smile before kissing him soundly. The next kisses were placed along his chest and down the planes of his abs and stomach until Bard was kneeling on the floor in front of him, eyes level with his cock. Without much of a second thought, Bard placed his hand on Thranduil’s hip and took him in his mouth. A shattered cry left him as the pleasure raced through his core. Bard’s mouth was warm and wet and hot. He was taking him right to the back of his throat with little issue. He buried his hands in the dark locks and let his head fall back in ecstasy until he felt the warmth pool in his body. He tried to give a warning about what was to come, but Bard’s only response was to place his hand on his chest and push him back with surprising force. He came with a shout that turned into a long, shaky moan as his body seized, then went lax. Bard stood with a smile, wiping his mouth and looking incredibly pleased with himself. One look between his legs made it clear he was still very hard himself. Thranduil rose from his chair and grabbed Bard, kissing him hard, not caring that his mouth tasted like his own spend. He used the shock of it to trade places and drop Bard into his chair before sinking to his knees. 

“Thranduil, wait! This is your tent, and you are a king. You do not need to-.” Thranduil cut off Bards' protests. 

“Do not tell me what I can and can not do.” He freed Bard’s cock from his pants and strangled a moan in his throat. Bard was thick and big enough he might not be able to fit all of him in his mouth. He would still try. Thranduil licked the tip and tasted the salty precum coat his tongue before swallowing what he could. His reward was getting to look up and see Bard falling apart. He was panting and moaning. He looked down at him through half-lidded eyes as Thranduil looked up at him through long, elven lashes and began caressing his hair and whispering sweet words of encouragement. He couldn't help but preen at his handy work, and soon he felt Bard tense. 

“Thranduil, please, you should stop. I’m so close.” Bard grit out. With a wicked smile, Thranduil rested Bard’s cock on the tip of his tongue and opened his mouth wide in invitation. He tried not to let a drop fall from his lips but failed and felt some slide down his chin. He felt too wobbly to stand immediately, and when he looked up, Bard was staring at him with wide-eyed adoration. He slipped off the chair to meet him on the floor and, using the cuff of his discarded jacket, wiped the corners of his mouth and chin before kissing him lovingly. The adoration was still in his voice when he whispered.

“I think you might be the most beautiful being in all of Arda.” 

~~~~~~

Find the kinktober list here!

[my-castles-crumbling]

My opinion of you? Hmmmm. Well honestly, my opinion of you… really fucking good.

I dunno how comfortable you are with compliments so i’m putting a little warning here; compliments incoming :)

Firstly, you are an awesome writer. Like genuinely. Plus it’s so impressive that you write/post those microfics everyday, it’s serious (sirius haha) dedication, and most ppl wouldn’t have it in them to keep a routine like that. 

Two, you have legit saved people. People here felt safe enough to ask you for help, and from all i’ve seen, you’re damn good at giving advice. 

Plus I saw that one anon you answered where you told the person not to admit they cheated if it’d get them in more trouble than they deserve, and I salut you for that. (I remember you also told them that cheating is wrong and mostly don’t do it- don’t worry I got the right message). 

Anyway, my point is, there aren’t many places people feel safe enough to talk about their problems or insecurities or even dangers. Especially on the internet. So you’ve made a really good community here. You should be proud. 

But we’re doing full honesty right? So honestly, I think that it seems like sometimes you don’t have enough faith in yourself. 

I mean your fics are amazing, but also, they’re fucking free and a gift to the fandom. So you shouldn’t feel the need to meet anyone’s demands or be good enough for anyone but yourself. 

And here, you have helped so many people, I understand insecurity is a part of living, but maybe you don’t get how helpful your blog is. Whenever I come on here, you’ve posted a microfic or made a marauders joke or truly helped someone (with annoyingly good advice btw, i’m an adult and yet NO WHERE NEAR as mature, so good on u), and it’s soothing. You’re soothing.

Give yourself credit, is what i’m saying. 

You’re allowed to feel proud that you help people, proud that people love your writing, and ignore anyone who’s an asshole cause they’re dumb anyway.

And don’t forget that you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone a fic, or a tumblr post or an anon answer or even (within reason) kindness. You’re being generous with your time and your kindness by helping people. And while obviously that’s a good thing, you shouldn’t feel pressured to do so. 

Wait let me rephrase that- anyone who pressures you to do so is a bad person and should be strongly ignored. 

You don’t have to apologise for not wanting to post or be on social media. And anyone who cares should value that you’re taking time for yourself. 

Plus, and sorry if it’s weird to bring up your like, real life, but I think you’re probably a really great teacher. I didn’t have many people who believed in me growing up and you seem like someone who believes in people. And that’s what matters most. 

(Plus all teachers are criminally underpaid so like- good for you sticking with a half shitty job- though then again all jobs are half shitty) 

Also, and in this day and age this is a truly high compliment, you don’t seem like you’ve ever sent hate. 

You just have that vibe. You know… nice :)

So yes, that is my opinion of you.

Also, random question, how much gory stuff in films can you take? Usually i’m pretty alright, but I watched a pretty gross film earlier and it reminded I can’t watch everything gory. 

So yeah… that’s all ❤️

Hi, um...I am SO sorry, my my allergies are terrible and I seem to be sweating from my eyes....nothing to see here...😭😭😭😭

Thank you. Genuinely. I have honestly been struggling a fair amount lately, so notes like this make a much bigger difference than you would think <3

As far as films, I'm alright with gore. I actually LOVE horror films, but I prefer psychological horror and horror based on East Asian legends.

Thank you again <3 <3 <3

[neverluckygoldfish]

47 -

Lately I’ve been feeling a sense of peace within myself. It’s really nice but I can’t help but wonder when it will go away and I’ll be back to the me as I’ve always known myself: melancholy, aloof, insecure, anxious…

But what if it stays?

Been trying this new thing where I trust my intuition (my greater She) in how I behave, the decisions I make, the things I say. I’m starting to trust in myself to choose the right thing over what’s easy or simply status quo.

I have faith that if one door closes, a window will open. Because it always does.

While I don’t have it all figured out yet, not even close, I’m trying to relish each present moment - the joy of figuring it out.

Happiness is a choice, it’s a mentality.

Not to downplay my own struggles or past regrets/mistakes - but I have a lot to be proud of. I’m not perfect by any means but that is okay too. Because I continue to try, be open minded, stay unassuming, learn and challenge myself. I don’t give up on myself.

Even if I think I am, I’m not. Because I’m still here and I’m still taking on the next day.

Does this mean I’m a good person? Or does this mean I am just human, with all the complexities.

A big thing I noticed is that black or white thinking. I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for anything really….because it didn’t jive with me “being a good person” or “being worthy”. I couldn’t be one without the other.

But then I’d forgive others in a heartbeat. Second chances? More like 3, 4, to infinity. Because I believe in the power of people changing. I’ve been trying to view myself as how I’d view someone else. I’m much kinder to others than I am to me.

Like I have it all ass backwards haha.

Now I realize that I have to cheer myself on. No one else will do it for me. And if I don’t, I’ll never get anywhere because I’ll always be too scared.

So if anyone is reading this, do what you need to let it all go. The expectations of what “should be”or how you “should be”. Scream in the car, delete that person from your friend list, go on a road trip by yourself, write affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere, cry your heart out, listen to your favorite song on repeat, throw yourself into your favorite hobby or start a new one, write all your worries on a piece of paper and burn it, break some shit then break some more shit, journal all your feelings on a random tumblr blog (haha), do something that scares you, make conversation with a stranger….I don’t know - just do something! Anything.

If it doesn’t work, do it again. And again. And again. Until it does.

Don’t worry if you look stupid or silly or uncool doing it. Do it for you. Forgive yourself for it all. You were and still are doing the best you could.

And don’t laugh at me when I say that because I used to make fun of all the people on social media who would say “X and X” solved all my problems and now I’m just this happy little leprechaun finding rainbows and gold everywhere. It’s not that simple but it also is.

Way easier said than done am I right *rolls eyes*

Know that you don’t have to have all the answers and you sure as hell don’t need to be perfect.

You are the one who writes your story so you get to decide who the main character is. Who you are. Who do you want to be?

As I’ve been healing, slowly but surely, people have fallen off. It really sucks to lose people. But the right ones have stayed & our relationships are so much sweeter and truer.

As I’ve accepted what I can do and what I can’t do, it’s been so freeing to feel like I’m not disappointing the world.

One day it will work. And then life will feel like magic.

Because lately, the thought that crosses my mind is: this is what it was meant to feel like all along.

[gamylost]

Do not to give up 📌

Life has been more complicated lately, I need to rant I’m writing this…mostly to encourage myself …. And others ?

Balancing a full time job, online uni, and chronics illnesses and life in general… feels like walking a tightrope lately, with all the looming exams and relentless assignments cast shadows of doubt, especially when I witness fellow students succumb to the pressure …. Oh yes something else adds up to that, one of the teacher….silence…nothing….how are we supposed to understand anything if we’re not able to ask questions? Or anything ?

With all the exhaustion and anxiety I’m trying by best not to give up… I’ve been so unproductive but I’m trying I’m really trying… and words from the past are coming back to me to haunt me… « not enough, stupid, idiot, incapable, you’re never going to succeed at anything… »

I found a little bit of hope, motivation … and then nothing… but I can do it I know I can, I remember why I’m doing all that, I want to be a real teacher I want to be proud of myself! It’s a real challenge, and I’m gonna prove to myself ( and others) that I will succeed ! the doubts, exhaustion,lack of productivity/ motivation, fears, anxiety are just part of the journey ? Right ? let’s stay positive

I writing this also, for the future me, in 3 months from now because it’s gonna be hard too… so did you succeed? If yes you will too now !

If you’re reading , I very much doubt about it but anyway: We will succeed anyone who’s having doubts or feeling unproductive/ unmotivated… If you need to rant go ahead share our struggles and triumphs ? 🤗

[mystic-story-lover]

Can i request a friends to lovers story with a soft El Phantasmo? Since you write for him!

~Stipulations~

El Phantasmo x female!reader~

Word Count: 849

Warnings: None really?

Type: Fluff

Summary: El Phantasmo likes the reader, and agrees to a stipulation with Juice.

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long anon, I’ve been struggling with such writers block lately

(Gif Is Mine)

~~~

Ever since the G1 began, you’d been watching intently as your brother and two best friends progressed. You kept tabs on their opponents, as any good Bullet Club member would do, and focused on their tells in the ring. Before long, you were able to point out when a specific move would be happening, and how to determine it would be. Using your logic to the club’s will, you’d been able to score them multiple victories over the other wrestlers. It was slightly surprising how nobody caught on to your technique, but you were glad that they didn’t at the same time. Tonight, it would be your best friend, El Phantasmo, versus another best friend of yours, and Bullet Club member, Juice Robinson. They’d both agreed to have an extremely serious wrestling match, which you knew meant they were going to be up to something ridiculous. Especially since it was these two in the ring.

You knew that there was a chance of club members forced to fight one another, but you had hope that it wouldn’t come down to it. The guys didn’t seem to mind it though, knowing that they’d still cheer for their “brother”, no matter how the match ended. As Phantasmo stood behind the curtain, you turned to look at him, smiling as you were proud of how far he’d come in his career. Sure, he was a total weirdo, but that was one of the biggest things you loved about him. When his music hit, you both stepped into your character, and walked out from behind the curtain. As Jay requested, you were to escort both men onto the ramp tonight, and then you’d join the commentary team for the entirety of the match. It wasn’t your first time being on commentary for a Bullet Club match, so they knew what to expect when you got there.

Bullet Club was the heel faction, and they’d been since it began in 2013, and to say that you played the heel perfectly would be quite the understatement. On social media and on camera, the group of you were cruel, but when it was just the two of you, El Phantasmo was the biggest sweetheart. If you were having struggles with travel, a personal issue, or anything that you needed to talk to a friend about, he was right there by your side. When he was off the ramp, you’d stepped back behind to see Juice bouncing on the heels of his feet.

                “Hey, you doing okay?” You questioned, placing a hand on his forearm.

                “Honestly, I’m nervous. I mean, I know me and him talked about the match, but I still feel bad about how the match is going to end tonight.” He spoke, bowing his head.

                “He’s the one who wanted it to go this way Juice, it’s not your fault. If it makes you feel better, when the match is over and your back here, I’ll help you win the arm wrestling match.” You chuckle and he lifts his head with a smile.

                “Well, I’ll see you then,” he smiled before stepping into place. “Too sweet me baby.”

The two of you two sweet right as his music hits, and he switches himself out of his nerves. You’d thought Phantasmo was crazy when he told you that he wanted to hit Juice with the chair, which would lead to a disqualification, but you knew that once his mind was made up, he wouldn’t back down. It wasn’t something you agreed with, but you accepted that he wanted this for himself.

~~~

                “And your winner of the G1’s second arm wrestling match, Juice Robinson!” You called between the two men, lifting Juice’s arm in the air.

                “Not fair! You two cheated!” Phantasmo exclaimed.

                “Rematch for the tie breaker?” Juice questioned, a knowing smirk on his face.

                “Hell yeah, it’s on.” ELP spoke, getting in place, with his arm on the table.

                “Stipulation, winner gets a date with Y/n.” Juice stated shrugging before placing his arm on the table. He knew that he’d intentionally lose, but he was trying to set you and his club brother up. It was tiring to watch him pine over you the way that he had been.

                “Deal.” With that, you shook your head before smacking the table, the indication for them to start. It was quick and easy, Phantasmo quickly pulling out the best of his moves to get Juice’s hand on the table. When it connected, you smacked the table once more and raised the victor’s hand.

                “I don’t mind losing this time, since I was sick of seeing you two hide around your feelings.” Juice shrugged again before walking off.

                “So, looks like I earned a date,” Phantasmo smiled, brushing a hair behind your ear. “Good, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while.”

                “You loser, you could have said something sooner.” You smiled and lifted yourself onto the tip of your toes, and placed a gentle kiss on the side of his mouth. “I’ll see you at our date, I’m going to go get ready.”  

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Hey there! <3

There's just something that has been on my mind lately and I just really wanted to get rid of it, I'm really not the best when it comes to expressing what I feel but I will try to this time.

This account means a lot to me, like a safe space. Your writting is beyond lovely, it brings so much comfort to me, even on hard times. It might look like just words to some, but they mean a lot to me. I don't normally reveal this to anyone, but I used to struggle with self-harming, I've been clean for a year now. But lately, I had been wanting to do it again after seeing something that made me very upset; but when I visited your account and read one of your works, those thoughts immediately flew away.

It's funny how we manage to cause so much impact on someone, and be completely unaware of it.

I'll kindly ask you to not be so hard on yourself, you don't deserve it, and I hope that one day you manage to find some peace of mind. It honestly hurts me that seemingly only the sweetest of people suffer so much. You're loved, Murda. Remember that and hold it close to your chest whenever you feel down.

Oh, Anon.

You have no idea how much I needed this today. Literally the very minute it came through, I had just received some bad news and was sitting in my car, crying.

It means so much to me to be important to someone in some way when I feel so broken and invisible. To have helped you makes my usually melancholy heart actually feel something else. Something brighter.

I made a post about not venting on this blog. I had received cruel asks and messages. I’ve mostly stuck to that and tried to release the negative energy in my writing instead. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.

I know I apologize to people who read my works a lot. I don’t mean to, honestly. It’s habit. Writing is legitimately all I have and mental illness is slowly taking it away from me.

This turned out a jumbled mess but I think I said what I meant to in one way or another.

Thank you so much again. I’m so touched and humbled. If you ever find yourself battling those urges again, I just want to share something I say out loud to myself. As with anything else when it comes to these struggles, sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t, but if it encourages you even one time, saves you one scar, it’s doing what I’ve hoped it would.

I truly hope that you continue on your path to healing. It’s not easy, though I don’t need to tell you that. I’m going to be sending all the positive energy that I can to you. I don’t know you, but I love you. And I’m proud of you. 🩵

[rogersideup]

hey Isla! I just wanted to give you my biggest thanks! I’ve had a terrible last few months and I’ve been looking for good reads to help me escape from reality and yours did just that and so much more! You made me giggle, even laugh out loud, sob, and experience so many more emotions I wasn’t sure I was able to anymore. So THANK YOU!! Stumbling upon your blog has really been one of the better things happening to me lately and for that I’m grateful.

Side note: coming from someone with a degree in englisch lit, your writing style is absolutely beautiful!! It’s so easy to follow and the way you characterize y/n is so relatable. I’m very much in love with your writing and I hope I get the honor of reading much more of it in the future.

So again, thank you so so so much for sharing your work with us/me/ your readership. It’s meant the world to me! Sending you hugs and kisses!☀️☀️☀️

Omg, where to start 🥹

First of all, messages like this make my whole day. I’m so glad you found a little world filled with all the feelings to drift off too. I’m so sorry times have been tough but know you’ll always have me on your side. Even if we’re just strangers on the internet, I love you and I’m proud of you!!! I hope things get better as soon as possible, and I’m sending all the light and love your way! You got this!!

Secondly, thank you for that very generous compliment! As someone who has struggled with learning disabilities their whoooooleeee life, writing and anything creative has been the only thing that has ever made sense to me. I pretty much barely coasted by any subject that wasn’t English and art (do NOT ask me to solve a basic math question 🙊) so finding a happy medium with creative writing for funsises has been a great hobby!

Though I keep a lot of my work locked away in drafts and don’t feel like I need feedback to keep me motivated, I do love hearing from others who read my work. It means a lot.

Thank you for the love, I’m sending you hugs and kisses right back 🌟🤍

[livingincolorsagain]

hello dearest!!!! 💘 🎀 💥 💌 for the fic writer asks? <3

hey honey! 💖

from this list

Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

be together aka my first sambucky fic. I just feel much more comfortable with the characters and as a writer now and I know like if I did rewrite it, I could make it much better, and way more painful. Still, I’m very happy and proud of it, glad I actually took the very scary step of writing for a new fandom.

give yourself a compliment about your own writing

I’ve been struggling with writing and feeling good about my writing lately, but one thing I’m always proud of is that I have a deep understanding of the characters.

find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

secrets i have held in my heart

The thing about falling was, it was impossible to forget.

You could never forget the drop, the way your heart moved in your chest, as if trying to reach out and hold onto something, to break the fall; the way it jumped and skipped and stopped and raced. You could never forget the roaring wind, the sound of your shout echoing and fading. You could never forget the crash, softened by white snow that grew crimson around you.

Bucky fell once, and it was burned into his memory like a lightning scar on skin, permanent and tender to the touch.

This is my latest and least kudos’d fic. I’ve been told it’s like poetry and that made me so happy.

share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I’m taking a break from writing currently and not really working on anything rn. Holding out hope that once this weird feeling go away, I’d get to work on the next chapter of careless whisper and the soulmates au!

[fieri-sentio-et-excrucior]

@10holmes Thanks for the 'Get to know your fic writer!' ask! :) As my answer got lengthy (of course), I thought best to make a separate post. Answers are under the cut.

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I like both, but I tend to lean more towards one-shots. When I get a bug for a story, I’m kinda desperate to get it down asap so multi-chaptered fics are harder as they take more time and planning and, especially, patience. That said, I really enjoyed writing The Prisoner of Jinlintai and The Tamed and was really surprised I managed to write – and finish! – such long, multi-chaptered stories. I hope I can do so again in the future 😊

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

All over the place! From the original canon, from memes and gifs online, from meta and headcanons other fans share, from songs, from dreams… Sometimes ideas just spring unexpectedly but fully formed into my head. That moment of inspiration is always exciting – but then it’s got to be transferred to paper, which is harder :D

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I think emotional scenes are ones I struggle with a bit. I often feel my writing ends up a bit clunky and melodramatic! But I try to put myself in the characters’ shoes and imagine how they would feel in that situation, their reactions to other characters’ words and actions. I think though, however unintentionally, my own personality probably seeps into the characters to a certain extent, which I know is not ideal! Particularly when I write Xue Yang, I often think I hold him back too much when he would probably fly wild 😉

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hmm, probably either Priceless or Life Imitates Art, as they’re both a bit taboo!

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Hmm, it varies from time to time. Sometimes I binge fics and don’t read anything for ages, sometimes I’m so caught up in the stories in my head that I don’t read anything at all. But probably on balance, I’m primarily a reader. There have certainly been long periods of time in the past when I’ve barely written anything at all but have devoured loads of fics. It just happens that more recently I’ve developed an obsession with The Untamed and have had the time, energy and inspiration to indulge in writing again (which has been a joy!).

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Only a very small group of irl friends know I write fic. I discovered fanfic in my teens, started writing it myself in 2012 and never told anyone about it until last year. Sometimes I see on tumblr people saying their mum or their sister etc read their fics and I’m always amazed – I think that’s wonderful! I can’t imagine telling anyone in my family about the things I write – let alone allowing them to read it! Esp the explicit stuff :O I’d die of embarrassment lol. And they’d probably die of shock!

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from The Prisoner of Jinlintai story/chapter?

Ooh, difficult question! I think there are lots of parts I really like from TPOJ, I’m pretty proud of that story (if I may say so!). I think chapters 25 & 29 are particular favourites, probably for similar reasons – ch25 is the first time XXC stays overnight in XY’s room, they’ve got frisky before but this time there’s more emotion behind it, and it’s preceded by XY actually being concerned about XXC and taking care of him. And in ch29 we get a glimpse of XXC being concerned about XY when he’s late back from his work, and then the scene when XY arrives back and finds XXC asleep in his bed, all calm and peaceful and beautiful. And XY is kind of struck dumb, surprised to find him there, unsure of his own reaction, but in the end just crawls into bed and falls asleep with him in his arms. I envisaged that scene so clearly in my mind, saw XY walk slowly and cautiously through the darkness, all alert, and then suddenly stop at the sight of his bed, his eyes widening, his body frozen, his fingers twitching, wanting to touch… And then I really like the last paragraph of that scene:

The room was so quiet and still. Xiao Xingchen was warm in his arms. Xue Yang held him carefully, as though Xiao Xingchen was some fragile thing that would break if he wasn't careful enough. He felt strange; his heart was still doing some weird fluttering thing that made it slightly hard to breathe. Maybe he was just overtired. He brushed his lips against Xiao Xingchen's neck and closed his eyes.

Now I've waffled on way too much about myself lol :D But it was fun, thank you! <3