#I’m just saying say what you want about Herbert West but the man is a professional

[overly-hubristic-mad-scientist]

One thing about Dr. Daniel Cain is that he’s gonna be positively shit at his job

[loud-trash-arcade]

Fuck it, I wrote fanfiction @sadgayscientist and @reaninateor, I wrote this because of you two:) if you read it let me know what you think😊I’m new to posting fanfics on Tumblr, and this is my first fanfiction, so I’m open to criticism, but pls be nice:) also this is based off the image at the bottom

Daniel cain had worked with Herbert west for many months, the two had slowly gotten closer to a point where he would consider them friends, but lately he has noticed his feelings when it came to Herbert weren’t exactly platonic. He noticed little things he wouldn’t notice when he was just observing someone normally, like the way Herbert’s glasses sat on his nose, the way his eyebrows furrowed when he was thinking, and how he would twitch when he got annoyed or bored, he also noticed how Herbert seemed to look at him differently, like he was trying to figure something out. Dan knew that his feelings toward his friend weren’t non-intimate, he worried about this, he was pretty sure it’s not normal to have romantic thoughts about your friend, especially if that friend was a man. What made this worse was the fact that they where constantly very close together, whether doing autopsies on dead bodies, or forcing Herbert to eat dinner for once, they were always either side by side or across from one another.

Dan stared at Herbert, he watched him carefully cut through the skin of the corpse in front of them, he watched him smile as he did so, Dan could never tell if he was smiling because he was happy he was working, or smiling because he was cutting through someone’s skin, he figured it would be best not to find out.

“Dan!”

Dan looked over in surprise,

“Daniel I would highly suggest that you stop staring at the corpse and hand me the cloth I’ve been asking for, for the past two minutes!” Herbert huffed, looking up at Dan in annoyance and tapping his fingers on the table in frustration, a scene that Daniel couldn’t help but find cute. Dan then realized what he had just been asked and quickly handed Herbert the cloth. “Are we done then?” Questioned Dan. “Not quite, I’m just cleaning up this body so I can bring out the rats.” Herbert explained, turning away from him. “You haven’t experimented on rats for awhile, why are you switching back? Get tired of the screaming when you inject human subjects?” Dan snickered. “Daniel you do realize that a scientist must return to smaller subjects in order to have proper results, I am not giving up on human subjects because the noises they make are irritating.” Herbert looked up at Dan in playful annoyance, a small smile playing at his lips, as Dan looked back down at him, he realized his mind was going in a direction he would rather not confront, and subconsciously he thought about what Herbert’s lips would feel like against his, realizing that a thought like that was going to land him in a very uncomfortable situation given the fact that he could feel blood rushing down, he quickly decided he needed an excuse to distract from the current problem he was facing. “Mind if I put on some tunes?” He asked, glancing over at the dusty record player in the corner. “ I do not understand why you want to distract yourself more by listening to music, but if you must.” Herbert said, not looking up from the table. Daniel hurried over to his record stash in the corner, grabbing his newest edition, his Tears for fears “songs from the big chair” record, he hadn’t gotten to play it yet, so he was quite happy to have a chance too. He put the record on and hurried back to the autopsy table as the first notes of shout played. He returned to the table to find Herbert carefully putting the body away and searching for the bag in which he kept the rats. “Have you ever loved someone?” Dan jumped at the sound of his own voice, he hadn’t meant to say that out loud, he looked over at Herbert, who had stopped what he had been doing, seemingly thinking. He looked back at Dan. “Why do you care if I’ve ever loved someone?” He said it in his normally cold tone, but Dan could hear a hint of amusement in his tone, damn it, Dan needed an answer to Herbert’s question.” I was just wondering if you planned on marrying the reagent.” Dan tried to say in a goofy tone, but it came out sounding shaky and nervous. Herbert looked back at him, once again looking as though he was trying to figure something out about him, Herbert smiled, “I don’t believe that is a question I can answer truthfully Danny.”Herbert grabbed the clear plastic bag containing the rats and returned to the table. Dan, still trying what the actual hell he meant by that, returned to the table with him. He tried to distract himself from his annoying thoughts by focusing on the lyrics in the background, and returned to helping Herbert set up the reagent. Dan barely knew what Herbert used in the reagent, and how the fuck it could bring dead things back to life, but with Herbert it was usually better to leave some questions unanswered, Dan recalled the time in which he asked Herbert something about iguanas and their habitats, and Herbert went on a thirty minute long rant about iguanas, their habitats, what they eat, and their mating habits, Dan didn’t mind Herbert’s long winded explanation on iguanas, he looked so happy explaining, he just let it go for a few minutes. Daniel then realized Herbert was using his rant as a distraction from the fact he had put blood in the microwave again. “Daniel, pass me the syringe please.” Herbert asked pleasantly. He seemed to be happier than he was before. Dan passed over the syringe. He noticed the last notes of “everybody wants to rule the world” in the background, he thought about Herbert’s entire goal with his experiments, what would happen when he finally reached his goal of

successfully bringing the dead back to life, part of him hoped it would still take awhile for him to figure it out, he feared Herbert would leave him once he succeeded, he doubted this, but there was still that nagging fear. He didn’t know why he was so infatuated with his best friend, he guessed it was some strange obsession at first, but at this point he had come to accept it: he was pretty sure he was in love with his best friend, why? That’s a good question. Maybe it was because of how excited he got when something he loved was brought up, and how fast he talked, the rare time Dan could get him to laugh, he wished he would never stop, Daniel didn’t know why Herbert insisted on hiding his happiness in exchange for his cold exterior, but he assumed that was another question he would never get an answer too. “Dan, are you there? Snap out of it!” Dan jumped and looked down to see Herbert once again staring at him in annoyance. “Daniel if you don’t stop zoning out you’ll be no more use to me than a dead ant.” “Damn it sorry” Daniel laughed, looking down, “I’m just a bit out of it today.” “Clearly” Herbert remarked,” now are you going to help me inject the dose or continue staring at the wall like it’s got you in a trance?” Herbert looked up at him and then returned to his work. Daniel helped him inject the reagent by holding the rats head up as Hebert injected the needle into the base of its neck. Daniel put the rat back down. The two watched the rodent lay still, and then spasm suddenly and come to life. Herbert pulled out his notes and watched the rat as it quietly looked around. “Interesting.” He said, looking curiously at the subject, “this one’s not shrieking!” “Is it really all that rare for one to come back and not immediately lose its shit?” Dan asked.””Actually, according to my recent studies, it is.” Herbert spoke like this was common knowledge, even though it definitely was not. “Is that good?”Dan asked. “I do not think you understand Danny, this could possibly be a breakthrough!” Herbert basically yelled this in excitement, Dan didn’t think he’d ever seen him so happy. Herbert started walking towards him and waving his hands. “This could mean so many things!” Herbert said with a huge smile. “All this because one of your experiments isn’t trying to brutally murder you?” Dan said, trying to mask how nervous he was getting as Herbert continued to invade his personal space. “Yes Daniel, this means my reagent is working properly!” If Herbert got any closer he was going to be pressing up against him, and that was not a situation Dan needed to be in, he tried to back up but ended up falling backward, and not wanting to fall, accidentally grabbed on to Herbert’s jacket and pulled him down with him. Well fuck, now Herbert was basically on top of him, but Herbert, unfazed, and now sitting between his legs, continued ranting in excitement. “Danny, this means we’re close to success!” Dan registered the playing of “head over heels” in the background, how fitting. Herbert put both of his hands down on the pavement next to Dans legs and pushed his face closer to his. “Danny! We brought the dead back to life and they’re not mindless zombies!” Dan didn’t register what he said before Herbert was kissing him, and he was kissing back, the universe had to be fucking with him, because as he and Herbert were kissing he could here “something happens and I’m head over heels!”In the background. The kiss definitely took him by surprise, he hadn’t expected Herbert to initiate anything between them, he was obviously wrong about that. Herbert pulled back, he looked like he had made a mistake, his cheeks were red, and he looked surprised. “I’m sorry Daniel, I don’t know what came ov-. Daniel cut him off with a kiss again. When he pulled back Herbert still look surprised, but there was a faint smile. “Why did you do that?” Herbert asked him. He didn’t sound regretful, just a little confused. “Because I’ve wanted to do that for awhile” said Dan, in a cheerful tone. “Oh, I wasn’t aware you felt that way.” Said Herbert blushing a little,

“ I didn’t know how to tell you how I felt, but I am most definitely glad you reciprocate the feeling.”Daniel smiled. “I’m glad too Herbert, but you’re kind of crushing me.” Dan laughed as he said this. “Oh, I apologize.” For the first time Daniel could hear Herbert speaking in an embarrassed tone, he couldn’t help but laugh at the sound of it. “Well, I am going to go and make dinner, do you care to join me?” Said Dan jokingly, expecting Herbert to make an excuse to continue with his work, as he normally does. “Yes, I suppose I will.” Herbert said as he returned to the table. Looks like Dan was incorrect again, he guessed the earlier events might have something to do with it. “Well I’ll see you upstairs then, love you.” Dan hoped the love you wasn’t too much, luckily Herbert answered with a simple response. “Love you too Danny.” And with that Daniel went upstairs to cook dinner.

Hope you liked it:)

[wahbegan]

H.P. Lovecraft Summaries 2

My post “So you’re new to H.P. Lovecraft” has gotten a couple notes recently and i’m reading a book of his stories right now, so what better time to educate you all with brief summaries of some of his work! I did the more famous ones last time, so let’s do a few beloved ones sprinkled in with a lot of weird and/or very racist crap everyone forgets about!!! I promise to be as objective and informative as possible. So let’s get started!

The Terrible Old Man: You know that movie Don’t Breathe? Like that, but instead of a blind psycho it’s a ghost....pirate....psycho? Also more racist The Cats of Ulthar: I FUCKING LOVE CATS I LOVE CATS SO FUCKING MUCH IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON A KITTY CAT I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING MURDER YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU I HOPE CATS EAT YOU ALIVE YOU BASTARD MAN The Statement of Randolph Carter: Not gonna lie, this one kinda reads like a man hook hand car door story The Picture in the House: You know how when you reach a certain age, you just start eating human flesh? Old people, man. Fucking terrifying The Hound: Don’t rob graves or the Hound of the Baskervilles will get you. Also my evil glowing dog has bat wings, so eat your fucking heart out, ARTHUR. Herbert West-Reanimator: Maybe after the first 20 times you try to bring a dead person back to life and end up making a cannibal zombie, you can’t complain when it ends with cannibal zombies eating you. Wait, there’s no racial parable in this, is there? Quick! Describe the black boxer as an ape and a thing! The Horror at Red Hook: I fucking HATE Middle-Easterners. I’m not joking, I hate them. I fucking hate them so fucking much I want to just fumigate the fucking-what? Oh, yeah, horror story uhhhhhh ffffucking Lilith or some shit, yeah, fuck it, that’ll do. Facts Concerning The Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: I’m not sure if I made it clear enough, so let me spell it out: I think Africans are descended from apes and if i found out i had ONE SINGLE DROP of black blood in me, i would LITERALLY light myself on fire. The Unnamable: Idk why i tried marketing this as a short story when it’s very obviously just a very verbose, loquacious, long-winded, some might even say purple prose way of saying: Fuck you saying my monsters are indescribable is cool and makes sense you just don’t get it. The Festival: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK MY ANCESTORS ARE WORM PEOPLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHRISTMAS IS EVIL (relatable) (best story on this list tbh) The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath: HOURS of fucking around just to reveal that no dream could ever be as lovely and beautiful as MY HOME IN SUBURBAN NEW ENGLAND I LOVE IT AND EVEN THE GODS ARE JEALOUS. P.S. I would rather befriend and learn the language of a literal corpse-eating ghoul than trust an Asian person. On the Creation of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT THE FUCK?!?! THIS IS A THING HE WROTE???? THIS IS WAY WORSE THAN THE FUCKING CAT WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I realize your asks are closed rn but that Poly!DanBert fic is so good and I humbly ask that if you have the time or inclination to write more with them!!!! any time you want I will read that until the day I die.

Well you are in luck Anon! It is still the amazing writing event by @the-slasher-files, it's Blood Fest baby!

And so I decided, two birds one stone, been a minute and I have been craving some Poly!DanBert! So have some gore and some fluff in one, short and sweet, but hope you love it all the same Anon!

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Length. 600-ish Words. Rating. Mildly NSFW. Herbert West x Dan Cain x GN! Reader! No Pronouns Specified. Poly!DanBert. Warnings: Blood. Gore. Softness. And They Were Roommates.

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Sugar And Scarlet.

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You shouldn’t be so used to this honestly. 

The cold from the basement was still felt under your skin, it seeped through your clothing with how strong the chill was and speaking of strong the scent of iron wafting up from the rag in your hand was just that. 

It had all happened pretty suddenly. Sitting and listening to some music upstairs, cookies baking in the oven as you washed the dishes, nearly elbow deep in soapy hot water as you scrubbed when you heard the loud crash. There was yelling so loud it made its way up from the basement stairs and before you knew it you were running, feet sliding along tile, yellow rubber gloves still on your hands as you took down the stairs. 

When you flung the door open you shouldn’t have been surprised to see all the blood.

Twenty minutes and one burnt tray of cookies that had set off the smoke alarm later you had dragged them upstairs and were helping clean them up. You had Dan sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, wounds had been tended to downstairs, now it was just cleaning up the mess. You were wiping away smears of scarlet that had been let loose in the fray downstairs all over him. 

You thought back over dinner, when you listened in rapture to what the boys talked about for tonight, how excited they were to get to work, on and on about their plans and how well this was sure to work this time. You felt happy for them, giddy to hear how it all went down after the fact. So when a few hours later you were rushing into the blood soaked scene, Herbert standing over that body and Dan on the ground and more red than you had ever seen.

Well the most you had seen this week anyway.

Herbert refused to sit when you had offered, still standing but leaning against the kitchen counter, you could feel his eyes on you, watching as you cleaned up Dan. 

It had been quiet, the radio had been turned off for a while. You spoke up asking, “So what happened?”

More silence, thick and tense, you decide to take a different approach as you tilted Dan’s chin up with the cloth in your hand before asking, “Are you really THIS upset about the burnt cookies?”

It worked like how you thought it would, a small smile before he said with a shrug, “I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to cinnamon and nutmeg. What can I say?”

You leaned up, a hand running through his hair before you kissed the cleanest part of his cheek, “Poor baby. I’ll have to make it up to you.” 

A turn of your head as you look over your shoulder to Herbert. “After a hot shower you wanna help re-bake the cookies with me?”

Herbert’s gaze snapped to you, he still looked so tense, he looked unsure of what to say, clearing his throat he started, “Well downstairs is still a mess and-”

“And the mess will still be there after we bake the cookies, Herbert.” You said easily and he sighed, “I don’t know if I would be much help.”

“Awe Herbie, you are breaking poor Dan’s heart here! The man is distraught! He needs a sweet’s fix.” You pleaded and Dan chimed in, “Yeah Herbie, I’m traumatised and cookies are the only thing to fix it.” His gaze beseeching with a pout as he leaned over your shoulder.  

He broke in less than a minute, an even more dramatic sigh than before, “Tonight’s experiment was a failure. I suppose I might as well see if I can make anything right, why not cookies?”

“That is the spirit!”

Another half hour later, all in clean clothing and Dan sitting at the table, watching as you instructed Herbert for once, standing beside him as he creamed together butter and sugar. Dan wished he had a camera to take a picture of him in the ridiculous pink gingham plaid apron you put him in. 

[darling-i-read-it]

hi hi! could u write hcs to how jason vorhees, jd from heathers, norman bates, herbert west and bo and vincent sinclair would react to learning their s/o has a knack for art/painting? (also hi, i’ve been watching so many horror movies lately and they’ve all been plaguing my mind ugh!!! im kidding, but how have u been maya? :])

Hi, how’s it feel to have immaculate taste? Also the limit for characters here is five so I just took off Vincent since you asked for him last. I hope you don’t mind! Also, I’m good how are you? I too am watching a bunch of horror movies so this was a wonderful request to receive!

Jason Voorhees

- omg! You can paint!!! That’s so cool!!!!!

- dude he would straight up die if you taught him how to paint

- then the two of you just sitting out by the lake as he points at how amazing your painting is and you reassure him that his is also amazing

- he tries to finger paint with blood

- Jason lovely boy

- anything you do makes him so giddy

- like just a simple sketch will make him all happy and he’ll wanna display it and show people

- he shows the deer’s that pass

- the deers think you paint amazingly

- he wants you to paint everything pretty he sees which means self portraits!

- he keeps one you made of yourself in his pocket whenever he goes somewhere <3

JD

- oh you paint? awesome babe. mind if we murder someone when you’re done?

- he just is slightly annoyed you’re not paying attention to him the whole time

- like hello! We need to go to 7/11!

- but the finished products always blow him away

- a cigarette between his teeth he will compliment you endlessly

- anything you may do of him only grows his ego

- he hangs that shit up in his car for everyone to see

- there is no stopping his pride for you

- if anyone makes a negative comment they’re just immediately added to the hit list, that’s just how it is

- and he doesn’t give mercy to people who hurt you

Norman Bates

- Norman loves loves loves it!

- oh he adores when he can watch you paint, it calms him so much

- he’ll hang up everything if you let him

- he’ll spend far more money then he should on supplies for you

- if you paint any of his taxidermy birds…he’s weeping about it

- how does that man not immediately combust whenever anything good happens to him

- if you’re concentrated he leaves you alone

- sometimes you’ll come down while he’s doing his taxidermy and draw beside him

- domestic

- it just absolutely makes him so happy when you do more than exist (which makes him happy regardless)

- Norman is just so proud of everything you do no matter what

Herbert West

- glad you have your own niche now leave him alone

- he’s got an experiment to do

- then he finds out how good you really are and that you can help him draw reference photos and maybe experiment type things

- now that gets him excited

- if you’re helping him out he may as well help you out as well and help get you new supplies

- maybe he’ll even pose for a portrait if he’s not busy (his idea not yours)

- not to mention the amount of green sharpies and colors you’re going to go through

- sometimes he’ll even ask you for offhand advice about is planning (if you point it out though he’ll never do it again)

- more time together though so you guys can just sit in his work space as you draw and speak and ask questions and he does his thing while getting to talk about what makes him happy while watching you do something that makes you happy

Bo Sinclair

- oh man, can you draw him?

- narcissistic asshole <3

- he likes that you have a good hobby cause he can’t always be with you when he’s killing people

- he isn’t against it or super for it, it’s just kinda meh to him on the outside

- but on the inside!!

- he loves everything you do even if he acts like he doesn’t

- will actively search for art supplies in victims cars and pockets to give to you

- sometimes he’ll even go out of Ambrose to get you more stuff

- he says it’s really no big deal for him but you know he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t care

- if he finds something he likes he’ll put it up on the wall

- he’ll even ask you to maybe do something for Vincent to go in the wax museum

- he just thinks you’re so talented but shush don’t tell anyone he said that

[kiddolm]

Priority Herbert West X Reader

Summary: After so much neglect from a certain sciency boyfriend, can you do it anymore?

Warnings: AFAB, slight cursing, slight hint of NSFW

Word Count: 2,099

✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧

He's down in the basement. Again. Like always. Somehow he's managed to spend more time in that dungeon than usual, and it's killing you.

Astonishingly, you managed to get close enough to make the twink your boyfriend in the first place. Back then, he wasn't this closed off. He actually tried to put in an effort into the relationship. But now, here you were, missing the brief kisses he'd give you on the cheek while he momentarily came upstairs. When he'd take small breaks to come to eat, and you would have conversations about something other than his reagent. When he'd finally come upstairs to take the shortest nap ever but would latch on to you like he'd lose you if he let go. Where did all of that go?

You shuffle down the stairs into his makeshift laboratory, fumbling with the hem of your sweater. Was it normal to be nervous to ask your boyfriend a simple question? Probably not, but here you are shaking like you just got off a rollercoaster, merely to ask him if he wanted to go out to eat with you and Dan.

"H-hey, Herbie,"

"-don't call me that."

"Alrighty," you whisper under your breath. Here we go. "Do you want to go out to eat with Dan and me? It might be good to get a little break, and a breath of fresh air might be good for you."

"It's outlandish how you still come down here to ask me these futile questions. I thought you would've learned by now that I don't have time for such useless activities," Herbert mutters.

You deflate, not knowing whether to keep pushing or to let it go.

"Ok," you sigh; he's right. You have learned, and you're tired of it. You're through with the emotional abuse he's been giving. Day after day, you somehow got the motivation to keep going back down, and every single time you got rejected. You're moving out until he figures out what he wants.

Charging back up the stairs, you rush into your shared bedroom and throw a jet-black suitcase on the bed. While you shove God knows what into your bag, you take a look around your room. Before you had moved in, it had been dull, with one or two human anatomy posters hanging up on the wall and a mini-fridge for his reagent. Now it has a bit more life thanks to you. Or now, I guess you should say had.

Dan comes into the room behind you with a puzzled look on his face. He looks around the room and at the clothes and decor that's thrown into your suitcase.

"Uhm, (Y/N), we're just going out to eat."

"I'm moving out. At least for a little bit. Just until Herbert figures out if he wants me in his life or not," you huff, throwing clothes recklessly into your bag.

"Woah, Woah, Woah," Dan objected, pushing past you to stop you from packing. "What happened down there?"

You let out a sigh of defeat and slump down on the edge of your bed, putting your head into your hands.

"I've tried Dan. I have, but Herbert doesn't care about me anymore. He- He's lost feelings or something! We haven't had a real conversation in a week, and- and I can't keep putting in any effort if he's not putting in any in return."

Dan sits down next to you and puts an arm around your shoulder in the hope to slightly relax you. He's always had a unique talent for that when you'd either get freaked out from work or another one of Herbert's experiments.

"I'm sorry you feel like that (Y/N). Really. He's an idiot for not appreciating you. Hell! If Meg weren't in my life, I'd probably be after you. Not- not in a weird way," he says, stuttering through the last part, making you laugh.

"It's not on you, Dan, and thank you. I'm still leaving for a while," you say, looking down at the floor. "I think I just need to be away from here for a while, ya' know?"

"Yeah, I get it. Listen, I'll help you pack and- wait. Where are you staying?"

"I was planning on just staying at a motel for a while."

"(Y/N), come on. You won't be able to live like that!"

"It's just until I figure things out with Herbert. Besides, I can't keep living like this either."

"Alright, that's fair. What all are you taking," Dan asks, standing up and begins to fold the clothes you sloppily threw in your suitcase.

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

Herbert wanders up the stairs and into his -or better yet, your- bedroom. Except it doesn't look like it belongs to you anymore. Quite a few of your things are missing, and your keys and purse are gone. It's almost like you never had even lived there in the first place.

He sleepily stumbles into the kitchen, looking for you. His eyes dart around the room to find your bright smile that would usually light up the room. He spots Dan instead.

"Where's (Y/N)," he groans, pouring himself a glass of coffee like it wasn't already 8 P.M.

"Why do you care?" Dan scoffs. An obvious annoyance is radiating off of him.

Dan's sudden outburst catches Herbert off guard. What's that supposed to mean? Suddenly Herbert isn't so tired anymore, and it's not just because of the coffee he seemed to inhale.

"None of her stuff is in the room. She didn't tell me she was going anywhere besides out to eat with you," Herbert says, furrowing his brows together to try and recall if you said anything else earlier.

"She moved out," dan responds bluntly with irritation sketched into his face.

"What do you mean?"

"For someone always boasting about being smarter than everyone else, you sure are acting like a dumbass right now." Dan couldn't lie; it was nice having the upper hand with Herbert. But this time didn't seem so fun. The paranoia that was evident on Herbert's features was concerning.

"Where is she?"

"She told me no to tell you."

"When?"

"She left about three hours ago. Herbert, will you-"

"Why?"

That's Herbert's last question. It's filled with an emotion Dan can't put his finger on. Herbert doesn't show much emotion, so when he does, it's alarming. More alarming than his inhuman lack of emotion.

''I'm gonna let you figure that one out," Dan replies dryly, continuing his homework and trying his best to not give in to Herbert's pleas.

As much as Herbert hated to admit that he needed anything other than science, he came to a quick conclusion in his head that he needs you. One of the classic 'You don't realize what you have until it's gone' situations.

"Dan," Herbert pleaded, dragging out the 'A' in his name, "I need to know where she is."

"What are you going to say to her? You don't even know why she's upset," Dan exclaims.

"You could tell me why."

"And why should I do that?"

"Because we're friends, Dan! Do you want to lose (Y/N)?"

"I won't lose her. I treat her like she's important to me."

"Is- is that why she's upset," he pauses, contemplating Dan's words for a moment. "Does she not think she's important to me?"

"Think about it. When was the last time you actually took a break from your work and just spent time alone? When was the last time you've given (Y/N) your attention?"

"My work is one of my top priorities! She knows that, Dan. She knew it when we first got into a relationship. That can't be it!"

"Can't it? She knows that your work is a priority, but she wants you to treat her like she's at least one of your priorities. Good God, man."

For the first time in his life, Herbert was at a complete loss for words. The silence was almost foreign.

"Where is she, Dan?"

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

You've been staying at this dingy Motel 8 for the past week, and while it wasn't the greatest thing ever, it was better than having to put up with being constantly rejected by your boyfriend. It's time to go back and face your problems, though.

While running away was nice for a little while, the constant state of wondering whether Herbert still wanted you or not was trying.

Sure his work is a priority, but so are you. If he can't see that, then it's his loss. Well, that's what you want to say. Honestly, you don't want to lose him. He can be cold at times, but when he's not, you feel on cloud 9. It's cliche to say you've never loved anyone like you love Herbert, but it's true. When he gives you his attention, you swear you're the only person alive. He's very passionate when it comes to love. Even if things did have to end, he always holds a special place in your heart. Every memory of him will be constant in your mind, even the bad ones. You just hoped he still loves you all the same.

Pulling up to the house gives you a tense feeling, and you haven't even gotten out of your car. You feel the drama before it even has the chance to happen.

With shaky hands, you knock at the door. The worst outcomes fill your head, one being that Herbert gave up on what you both had and ends things without another word.

All of those thoughts evaporate when the door is flung open, and you get the wind knocked out of you by Herbert, who comes out and practically tackles you. His arms wrap around your lower waist, and his head nuzzles into the side of your hair, taking in your scent.

You stand still, unable to comprehend that your once very emotionless boyfriend is showing endearment. It feels so unfamiliar.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into the side of your neck, in between the small kisses he's been peppering all over you.

You're stunned. What happened to your Herbert? Who is this?!

He takes a step back and looks at you; his eyes are glazed over with a pleading haze. "Don't leave."

He looks pitiful.

Part of you wonders what changed. Did Dan talk to him? Did he come to this realization by himself? Whatever happened that changed his mind, did it even matter?

"You have to promise me, Herbert, that you'll start to treat me better. I can't keep being the only one putting any effort in," you whisper. Your voice starts to shake, and you know if you speak any louder, it'll break.

He can only nod his head as he pulls you back into the comfort of his arms. You lift your head and place a passionate kiss on his lips as he grabs your waist tight enough to leave bruises. Without breaking the kiss, he drags you back into the house, towards his room. The sounds that the both of you make are ungodly.

Who knows if Dan just saw the mess of two people stumbling around his house.

Things get heated as clothes start to disappear from both of your bodies. His hands wander over every inch of skin that he missed while you were gone. He zones in, leaving marks on your neck to reclaim you as his. As things escalate, he slowly but surely makes you understand that you're the most significant thing in his life; his sole purpose of the night is to pleasure you.

In the morning, you're stuck together, unable to tell where you start, and Herbert ends. You wake up first admiring him. It was nice just being able to stare at him for the first time in ages. You trace imaginary circles over his chest and breathe in his scent. It feels like home.

As soon Herbert wakes up, he pecks you on the nose and moves some hair out of your face muttering a few 'I love yous' as he gets up and gets dressed to start back on his work.

You're aware this kind of affection isn't something you should be getting used to, but you can't help it. When Herbert treats you like that, you wish it'd last forever. Secretly, he does too.

Later, when Dan asks what had happened between the two of you, Herbert denies everything, too worried about his pride. Once he was down in the basement, though, you fill Dan in on everything assuring him it's all back to normal. And it really is. Your Herbert is back.

✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧

Thanks for reading! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Herbert West

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

“Oh, Herbert, this is-”

“Y/n. …Yes I know.” The man interrupted, prompting your awkward smile to drop momentarily. Herbert was an …interesting character, to say the least. 

- You met the re-animator through Dan who’d been a friend of yours since you joined the school. Dan had sort of taken you under his wing after you first met, becoming like an older brother to you. You; being a year younger than him and away from home for the first time, were very happy to have someone looking out for you. 

- Obviously, Dan was a pretty big part of your life and you were a pretty big part of his life as well. Because of this, Herbert most likely heard of or had; at the very least, seen photos of you prior to your meeting which is why he didn’t need an introduction. 

- At first, Herbert finds you; like pretty much everyone else, dreadfully irritating. He’s very short and stand offish with you, only calling you miss y/l/n or a harsh sounding y/n. But that all changes when you’re finally able to speak with him alone. 

- You’d stopped by Dan’s apartment one day, only to find that the only one home was Herbert who seemed very ready to close the door on you after informing you that Dan was out with Megan. You said the magic words before he was able to. 

“Herbert? I haven’t really been able to speak with you until now but I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan of your work,” Bingo. “Or, rather, your theories. Dan's told me about a few of them and I find them very fascinating and well, um-”

“Why don’t you come inside Y/n?” Herbert says, a small smile on his face, one without any hidden boredom behind it. 

- Prior to that, you’d never heard him speak your name without a touch of irritation to it so you were eager to do whatever you could to remain in his good graces. 

- When Megan and Dan arrive back at the apartment, they’re surprised to see you and Herbert sitting in the living room and talking, or more accurately, surprised to see Herbert talking to you rather passionately about life and death.

- Dan gives you an odd look as you greet them and say how you should probably get going, the look only grows more confused as Herbert says goodbye with a seemingly rather genuine smile on his face. He doesn’t know what happened but he isn’t sure he likes it. 

- From then on, Dan watches suspiciously as Herbert seems to grow more and more fond of you. He grows to somewhat dislike Herbert's sudden interest in you, especially after he finds out what the man does in his spare time and is propositioned by him. He fears that he’s trying to manipulate you into helping him. 

- But that isn’t the case. No, Herbert just likes having you stroke his ego and listen to him talk about his work like he’s gods gift to earth and to you, he is. 

- You thought Herbert was attractive the moment you met him, regardless of his somewhat odd and standoffish behavior. When he starts letting you into his life, your crush on him only worsens until you’re pretty much head over heels in love. So you sort of follow him around like a lost puppy and while he generally dislikes having people bother him, you become a bit of an exception. 

- Over time, Herbert genuinely begins to like you, and he certainly cant deny that you’re attractive. He has a very scientific way of understanding his feelings for you, refusing to believe that love is a thing or admit that he actually has romantic feelings for you. 

- He reasons that his body thinks you’re a suitable mate and that's why he cant stop thinking about you. He allows himself to lower his ego and believe that he’s not above his animalistic urges, if only to refuse that he actually loves you. 

- Herbert doesn’t think of himself as one for relationships but seemingly against his own will, he yearns for one with you. So after a few days of avoiding you in an attempt to see if his feelings will fade away, he pulls you into his life once and for all, intending to never let you go. 

- After things had been going so well, the sudden cold shoulder from the scientist had bothered you, so when he calls you on the phone and asks you to come by the apartment, you jump at the invitation, happy that things are back to the way they were. 

- When you arrive, he leads you into the basement and sits you down, telling you to watch as he injects his reagent into one of his specimens. He watches the way you react, his body nearly pressed against your back as you stare in awe at the creature before you.

- If anyone were to walk in, they would see far more than just a man showing a friend his morbid creation. The expression on his face would say everything. To him, this is one of the most intimate things he can do. To introduce you to his work, to trust you with his findings, to explain to you how it works. 

- When Dan returns home, he finds you sitting side by side in the basement, Herbert's notes and reagent sprawled out before you. A wave of discomfort rolls through him as he asks what's going on. Herbert merely says “she knows” with a small smile playing at his lips, his eyes moving to the side of your face with a look of subtle adoration. 

- From then on, you’re involved in practically everything, even if Dan isn’t pleased with it. Your relationship with Herbert evolves very quickly, he’s not one for patience. 

- He doesn’t verbally confess his feelings for you, not at first. Instead, he lets the tension grow between you until he’s pushing you back against his desk and kissing the life out of you. 

- There’s very few times where Herbert truly loses his calm and collected composure and this is one of them, his mouth moving feverishly against yours, hands wandering, breathing shallow. 

- The two of you say nothing as you part, he goes back to work and a while later you go home, a million thoughts racing through your head and your heart still beating quicker than normal.

- A few more kisses like that and the two of you wind up in bed together. By the time you’re finished, its the middle of the night. You know you should probably go home but you don’t think he’d let you with the way his arms are wrapped so tightly around you. 

- You try to move and his arms tighten even further, pulling you back against him even closer. The message reads loud and clear; you’re his now and you aren’t going anywhere. 

- Your relationship won’t be conventional, you knew that from the start. Nothing Herbert does is very conventional and that's something you’ve learned to accept. But for better or for worse, you’re together and there’s no signs of you ever parting. 

- There’s two sides of Herbert out in public. There’s the Herbert who doesn't touch you at all, acting somewhat distant because he wants to remain professional. And then there’s the Herbert who never lets go of you, remaining close at all times and holding you in some way, shape or form. 

- He’s pretty much touchy with you at all times, unless you’re in front of someone he feels he must put on airs for. Anywhere else or in front of anyone else and his hands or some part of him never leaves you. 

- Deep kisses. Herbert..., how should I put this, devours you?  He’s always got this tight hold on you like he’s scared you’ll part from him as he steals your breath away. 

- Distracted pecks on the lips as you go to leave the room while he’s working. 

- He finds it sort of amusing to startle you which he oftentimes does so without even meaning to. He’s fairly quiet so you usually don’t hear him enter the room, you only realize he’s there when you turn and nearly have a heart attack upon finding him suddenly standing near you. He’ll usually try to hide his smirk but occasionally your reaction will earn a laugh. 

- Beware the flattery. If he’s complimenting you more than once in the span of a minute, he most likely wants something. 

- Trying to get him to take a break and/or actually go to sleep. He gets really wrapped up in his work and won’t go to bed for literal days so occasionally you’ll just have to drag him away against his will. 

- As much as he tries to avoid sleep, he’ll still have to at some point. When he does go to bed, he likes being the big spoon and holding you tightly against him. 

- Sometimes he legitimately cradles you or a part of you against him, especially when you're scared or upset. He’ll usually either hold your head in his lap or quite literally wrap himself around you, speaking to you almost uncharacteristically sweetly. 

- He’s somewhat touch starved. He’s never really bothered to find himself a girlfriend, thinking of them as pointless distractions, but now that he has one, he can’t help but admit that it does feel good to be touched and loved, particularly by you. 

- Occasionally, he’ll have you sit on his lap as he records his data or let you write down what he says, leaning his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

-  He doesn't use nicknames very often but occasionally he’ll let slip a “dear” or “darling”. Honey, sweetheart; generic little things that come naturally out of a persons mouth when they’re in love. 

- Tight hugs while he speaks softly in your ear. 

- Cheek kisses. 

- Making sure he actually eats and doesn't waste away in the basement. You’ll bring him down some food if he doesn’t want to leave his things, it’s one of the rare times that you get a very earnest, pleasantly surprised yet still a little distracted thank you. 

- Occasionally keeping him company down in the basement. You’ll go to leave after you do what you needed to do and he’ll call your name and say; almost shyly, “Why don't you stay? Sit down here. Keep me company”. He’ll usually let out a little laugh as well, trying to ease his feelings of awkward vulnerability. 

- You're really not sure if he owns anything besides a suit. You legitimately think the only comfy thing he owns is a sweater you got for him on his birthday. 

- Speaking of birthdays, he doesn't like celebrating his; mainly because he’s never really had someone to celebrate it with. He accepts your gifts almost like he isn't sure what he should say or do, usually replying with an “oh... thank you.” and a quick kiss to the cheek. 

- He’s not fond of parties or social gatherings but he will go with you, mainly just to be your date and make sure you’re alright. That and he thinks your coworker has a thing for you which he is not happy about it.

- Your friends and family are most likely going to find him strange, though I think your mother or grandmother would probably fall for his carefully constructed charm and like him a lot. He isn’t ashamed to say that he’s fond of her as well, occasionally asking about her and getting a genuine smile on his face whenever he sees her. 

- He may or may not constantly forget your anniversary, not because your relationship doesn't matter to him but because he’s Herbert and he doesn’t understand the intricacies of dating. 

- Your pets don't like him and he’s not very fond of them ether. He stiffens when they enter the room and they leave once they see him. You find it almost amusing. On the other hand, they could also never leave him the fuck alone, absolutely adoring him while he tolerates them for your sake. 

- Sarcasm and snide retorts. That’s literally just how Herbert talks so don’t take offense.

- Stopping Dan from trying to kill him whenever your boyfriend turns into an asshole and starts trouble.

- He definitely likes ordering you around a little. He’s sort of a wimpy guy so being in control of things is like a drug to him.

- Letting him ramble on about his work and accomplishments. You think he likes to hear himself speak. 

- He’s not much of a small talker. Unless the conversation is about something actually meaningful or science; specifically his science, he isn't all that interested in it. Meaningless talk annoys him and he’s got more important things to do than exchange pleasantries.

- He’s not a very heavy set boy so you could pull him away from his work if you really wanted to, though I suggest you don't. You don’t want to get between him and his work.

- Being roped into his plans and work. He always manages to get you to help, even if you really don’t want to.

- I never said Herbert was nice, did I? Well, he isn’t; not completely at least. He’s oftentimes selfish and will do whatever it takes to persuade you to do something or change your mind about something. He’s a master manipulator first and loving boyfriend second.

- Bandaging him up when his work gets …rough.

- Trying to comfort him when things don't work out. He never wants to accept that its his fault so you just agree with what he says and pull him away from his work. 

- Feeling bad for laughing at his somewhat morbid humor. 

- Apprehensively helping him inject himself with reagent, only because you know he’ll do it anyways. He’s a stubborn bastard, all you can do is try to ween him off of it. 

- He’s a scientist who works with the dead and get’s covered with blood daily, your period isn’t going to gross him out in any way. Tell him you have cramps, he’ll give you advice. Felling emotional, he’ll be a little more caring than usually. Want to cuddle, he really wants to work but seeing you desperate to hold him is worth leaving it momentarily.  

- You’ll leave something of yours in his room and he’ll tell you that he put it in his bottom drawer. When you open the drawer, you’ll find that it’s empty besides the thing you were looking for. That’s how he’ll tell you he’d like you to leave some of your things there so that you don’t have to constantly leave at night or early in the morning.  You’re pretty much the only one ever allowed in his room, mind you.

- He gets very jealous and he wont play nice either. He’ll openly insult them and probably get a little snappy with you too. His attitude has definitely caused at least one argument between the two of you.

- He’s ready to kill to protect you. He’s not necessarily protective of you but he doesn't want you getting hurt. He tends to pull you behind him or stop you from moving any closer to something if he’s not sure about what will happen or if it’s safe. 

- He takes care of you when you’re hurt or scared, assuring you that everything will be alright, dressing your wounds or trying to snap you out of your fright whether he’s doing it for you or for his own selfish reasons is up to interpretation. 

- He has no filter. He just says what he pleases without any regard towards other peoples feelings, whether his words are directed at you or towards someone else. There’s always a bit of tension in the air as/after he speaks. 

- He gets snappy when he’s frustrated or under pressure. He’ll raise his voice at you and argue wickedly, still continuing his rant even as you go to leave though he’ll angrily question you as to what you’re doing in the middle of it. 

- He can definitely hold a grudge if you really make him upset so you’ll either have to force your way back into his life and apologize or wait until he just cant take it anymore and begins to miss you. Let it be known that Herbert never truly lets a person out of his grasp. Being close to him is like being in a spider web. 

- He isn't above manipulation. In fact, he practically wrote the book on it. Its usually subtle when its with you, careful word choices and purposeful touches. He’ll apologize and say all the right things to get you to forgive him. Don’t worry, he is actually sorry and tries his best to not do what upset you again. 

- He doesn't say I love you; Its not really in his vocabulary. He may have said it a few times in your relationship but not at all often. He shows you he cares more than he verbally expresses it. 

- He has no intentions of letting you go anytime soon and you have no intentions of going. You might have a strange relationship but its your strange relationship and you love it. 

[sweet-as-battery]

genuine reasons

Oh BOY! Here we are. This is my first foray into fanfic in over ten years. Please bear with me. Thanks to @twistedboxy​ and @jeffreycombseverything​ for encouraging me to post. This is super OOC for Herbert, but I like to hc that he avoids drinking because he gets soft. Also, even though Bride is one of my favorite movies, I won’t accept that Meg is dead. :) Anyways, I'm just gonna post this before I chicken out. Happy Holidays, y'all!

-----

Summary: Your date for your family holiday party drops out, so you ask Herbert to pretend to be your date for the night. After a couple drinks and some ego boosting, Herbert realizes there might be a reason the two of you are good at this game... 2.8k words (YIKES!)

You pulled your car up to the curb and turned off the ignition, glancing up at the house to your left which was decked out in lights. You snuggled into your scarf as you shifted your view to the other side of the car where Herbert silently seethed in the passenger’s seat. Fidgeting with the steering wheel for a moment, you offered him a small, “We don’t have to stay long.”

The man tutted and waved you off. Like that changed the fact that he had to be here at all. You had come to him two days ago, telling him how you’d told your family that you’d be bringing home a guy from class you’d been seeing. Then just days later, said guy decided that he’d rather go home to celebrate with the other girl he’d been seeing. When you didn’t have the heart to tell your family what had happened, you’d begged West to stand in for the dinner. 

He’d initially scoffed and made a cold remark about you having excellent taste in men. The disheartened look on your face immediately told him he had made a mistake, but when you just nodded and walked away as opposed to starting one of your famous arguments, he began to feel a sense of guilt creep in. 

As he vaguely recounted the incident to his other housemate, Dan didn’t hesitate in letting Herbert know just how much of an ass he was. It was after that stern push he got from Dan that had gotten him to give in and agree. 

“Herbert, you need to go. She’s given you how much of her spare time since you took her on as your assistant? The least you could do for her is pretend to be her date for a couple hours.”

But, Herbert doesn’t do family, or more so, dating. What a trivial waste of time. Even during the holidays, Herbert really only had himself. Dan always goes to visit family with Meg, and this was his first year with you around. Dan would always invite Herbert to come home with the two of them, but he would just scoff and tell him that science never stops to celebrate the holidays. 

Luckily for Herbert, your family only lived about a half hour outside of Arkham, but his overarching sense of dread at having to socialize increased ten-fold when you had parked in front of the brightest, most sickeningly decorated house on the street. You suddenly twisted and reached into the backseat before producing a bottle of wine and a cake. 

“Could you carry these if I get the gifts?” you asked Herbert, and he hesitantly took the items from you. 

You grabbed the bag of gifts from the backseat and the two of you walked together to the front door before you rapped against the wood with your free hand. After a moment of the two of you standing there in silence, Herbert could feel your eyes on him. He took a second to glance over and saw you smiling at him. He sent a small, false, fleeting grin back before the door swept open and your mom cried out your name lovingly.

She pulled you quickly into a hug and ushered the both of you in the door. She gestured to the table with other desserts and dishes on it and Herbert sat the items in his arms down as you made introductions. When he turned back, your mother wasted no time pulling him into a hug as well. He froze, absolutely taken aback by the contact. 

You chuckled. “Mom I know you’re a hugger, but Herbert’s not.” 

She pulled away and looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, dear. It’s just lovely to meet you.”

“You as well, Mrs Y/L/N,” Herbert responded politely. As she insisted he call her by her first name, you heard two sets of sneakers padding closer against the hardwood floors. Your two nephews came into view and you pointed at them excitedly. 

“Y/N!” The smaller of the two boys wailed out, running to you before you scooped him up into your arms and snuggled against him. 

“Are you getting into trouble?” you asked him and he smirked, shaking his head. “That looks like a lie to me,” you told him before tickling him and getting a loud giggle in return. 

“Y/N, who’s this?” the older brother asked, pointing at West. 

“This is my friend, Herbert,” you told him as his little eyes connected with Herbert’s. The pre-teen boy waved and introduced himself. 

Wonderful, Herbert thought, there’s children too. 

—-

Dinner had gone better than you had expected, and most of your relatives seemed to be comfortable in Herbert’s presence, which shocked both of you. After your insistence, non-drinker Herbert had also indulged in a couple glasses of wine, and you found he had begun to soften ever so slightly. While you stood with your elder cousin against the kitchen island, drinking and snacking on desserts, your eyes were fixed on the sight going on in the living room. 

Herbert sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, telling tales from his time in Switzerland (minus the illegal experimentation) to the kids, as well as your grandparents. Every so often, he’d gesture wildly and the children would break into fits of laughter. You felt your stomach do a flip at the sight, and while you told yourself over and over that it was the wine doing it to you, you knew it wasn’t. 

He caught your eye, shooting you a very uncharacteristic smile, and that’s when you knew you were done in. An hour ago, you’d sat silently in the car with the classic neurotic and insensitive Dr. West, but after a few drinks, a meal, and some ego stroking by your relatives, he’d turned into smiley, Mr. Sociable Herbert. As he took a moment to excuse himself and stand from his criss-cross-applesauce position on the carpet, your cousin mused, “I wish I could find someone like him.”

You chuckled at her, and as Herbert walked toward where you were in the kitchen, eyes locked on each other, you replied, “Don’t let him fool you. He’s usually a prick.”

She raised her eyebrows and looked between the two of you as Herbert perched himself right next to you. “Ah,” he began to retort, “and I take it that’s why you’ve been ogling at me for the past fifteen minutes.”

You scoffed at him as he continued looking down on you with those condescending hazel eyes of his. Your aunt came barging into the room suddenly with your mother in tow, obviously having had a few more drinks than the three of you combined. She came to stand in front of you and Herbert and attempted to make a cutesy noise. 

“So, how long have you two been together?” she asked, leaning back on the counter next to your cousin. 

You hadn’t really thought over this answer, figuring you’d make something up on the spot, but as your brain blanked in the heat of the moment, Herbert simply answered, “It’ll be eight months on the third. Our mutual colleague introduced us when we all decided to become housemates.”

Your mother squealed. “Oh! How is Dan? Are he and Meg still together?”

You nodded, “They’re staying with his family for the holidays.”

“So the two of you get the whole house to yourselves for a couple of days,” your aunt slurred, wiggling her eyebrows at the two of you. 

You could feel your face flush and Herbert shifted uncomfortably next to you. “Mom, don’t be like that,” your cousin scolded her, sensing the shift in the room.

Your own mother attempted to help as well, exclaiming that she needed a picture of the two of you. She fetched the camera from the closet in the hall and ran back in before gesturing for you and Herbert to move in closer to one another. You sighed and stepped, making it so your hands were now brushing against each other. 

Herbert suddenly pulled his away and you felt a momentary bit of disappointment before his arm wound its way around your shoulders and pulled you in tighter. You took this as your initiative and if he was going to go all in, then so were you. You wrapped one arm around his lower back and brought the other to rest on his abdomen. 

The sweater he was wearing over his normal white shirt and tie was soft, and you couldn’t help but nestle your face against it. You breathed in and noticed that his normal smell of chemicals and musty books had mixed with the warm cinnamon that filled the house. You sighed and the moment you looked up, you heard the click and flash of the camera, followed by a coo from your aunt, then another click and flash. 

After a minute of pointlessly shaking the two photos, your mother looked over them and handed you one. “Remind me to thank Dan the next time I see him. I owe him at least a cake for getting you two together.”

You looked down at the photo and seeing the seeming warmth shared between the two of you made your heart yearn. You knew that after tonight, Herbert would burn the photo if given the opportunity, so you decided to tuck it in the pocket of your cardigan and never let him get the chance. 

The two of you were skirting on the edge of something dangerous, and while you knew that Herbert was just playing the game, you were spiraling fast. What you hadn’t realized in that moment though, was just how tight Herbert was still holding you against himself. 

—-

Once everyone had finished opening their gifts, and continued chitchatting, you figured you’d subjected the doctor to enough of the charade. As you began to say your goodbyes, Herbert went to retrieve your coats. On his way back, he was suddenly stopped by your cousin from earlier. 

She pulled him aside before announcing, “I know this is weird and I’ve only observed you two for a few hours, but I want you to know that she’s crazy about you. She barely listened to five words I said earlier. It was 100% tunnel vision tonight. I just hope you feel the same because i've never seen her like this before.”

Herbert nodded in reply, too stunned by the words to find any of his own. He knew you weren’t an actor by any means. He felt your panic when your aunt began asking questions. Yet, the smiles and the touches felt genuine. As he continued mulling internally, your cousin smiled at him and walked past on her way to get her own coat. 

“See you next year, Herbert.”

He found you in the foyer with your mother and handed you your jacket before slipping into his own. Your cousin’s words still bounced around in his head as he watched the two of you embrace goodbye. After pulling apart, she began to come in for a hug with him, but stopped when she remembered. 

“Not a hugger. That’s right,” she reminded herself with a chuckle before joking, “Y/N’s the only one entitled to your hugs.”

While he could feel your almost worried gaze boring into the side of his head, he just smiled back at your mother before thanking her for having the two of you over. You really were bad at this when put on the spot. You opened the door and the two of you inched out into the cold as you shared goodbyes. Yet, as you were just about to turn and close the door behind the both of you, your mother gasped and pointed to the top of the doorframe. “I completely forgot!” She yelled out. 

Both of your eyes met and traveled slowly up to find exactly what you’d expected and dreaded. Your eyes met again and you let out a nervous laugh that Herbert mimicked. He took in the look on your face and once again thought about what your cousin had said as well as the feeling he got when you’d embraced him for the photo earlier. He had too much important work going on to twiddle around with feelings. He was defeating death. Yet, as he peered down into your eyes, he found he couldn’t recall anything at the moment. None of the formulas or correct dosages or chemical components. 

So he decided, to hell with it. 

His hands came up to hold the sides of your face and he brought his lips down to meet yours fleetingly. When he pulled back, he could see a sparkle in your eye and looked away quickly. The two of you needed to leave before he let anything slip, so he quickly gave one more goodbye before ushering you out the door and to the car. 

—-

The two of you sat in silence for most of the drive home, neither knowing the words to say. Both of you were thinking the same thing, but while Herbert had a sense of hopefulness, you were feeling the exact opposite. Yet, when you pulled into the driveway of your shared home and turned off the engine, neither of you made a move to get out. Looking at your lap, the only thing you could think up was a small, “Thank you. I know it was probably torture, but I really appreciated it.”

He made a hmm noise before announcing, “Actually, I’d be willing to do it again next year.”

You felt your chest flutter at his words and your eyes darted up to meet his. The same hazel eyes that looked upon you with contempt just hours ago now seemed softer, but on edge. Your gaze narrowed skeptically before asking, “Just how much did you drink, West?”

“Not nearly enough,” he answered and you studied his worried expression. “Let’s go inside.”

The two of you gathered the gifts and leftover cake and made your way into the house. As you tucked the cake in the fridge, you had expected Herbert to make a beeline to the basement just as he always did. To your surprise, the man was instead still in the living room, poking and prodding at the fire he’d just started. 

You sat down onto the sofa, picking at the ragged arm. “Don't you have work to do?” You asked, the tension in the air becoming palpable. 

He let out a curt sigh before coming over to sit next to you. “I don’t believe I would be able to focus after all of the distractions.” There was a beat of silence before he decided to go for it. “I would say your family believed our story. Your cousin definitely did, at least from what she told me. I believe she said you were ‘crazy for me’.”

You cringed inwardly and felt your pulse quicken before letting out a nervous chuckle. “I guess we’re just good actors.”

“See, that’s what I’ve been having trouble with.” He removed his glasses from his face and used them to gesture. “Because, you weren’t a great actor, by any means.”

You scoffed at him. “Thanks a lot. I suppose you’re gonna say you pulled the load with your magnificent performance.”

He shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, I think what saved us were your genuine feelings for me. All those looks and smiles, very convincing because they were real.”

Your panic shot through the roof, but you attempted to play it off with a loud laugh. “Don't flatter yourself, West. I feel more for some of the things we create downstairs.”

“I think you’re lying,” he retorted, emphasizing the last word with a point of his glasses. 

The dejection spread through you like a wave. You knew he’d be blunt if he ever found out how you felt, but now he was just taunting you. He shook his glasses, his lips pursed, before he sat back down next to you. He was much closer this time though, so much so that your knees kept brushing together. 

With the proximity and without the glasses, you could see his eyes perfectly, the intense green-grey staring back at you and making your heart patter. He allowed his free hand to reach out and cup your face gently. You sighed and leaned into the touch, letting your eyes close. He murmured very quietly, “And as convincing as you were, I was on the same level. Equally good at pretending, for all the same genuine reasons.”

Hearing his admission caused a lump to form in your throat. You swallowed to try and push down the feelings, but it all flew out the window as soon as you felt his lips on yours for the second time that night. His lips were chapped and the kiss was awkward, but you had expected nothing less. He was a man of science, not romance, after all. 

After eventually pulling apart for air, you rested your forehead against his and let out a small laugh. “I guess next year we don’t have to pretend,” you joked. 

“I don’t even think we can consider this year as such.”

...and now I will spend forever cringing about actually posting this. 

[lightofthemoonglow]

running up that hill: part one

Summary: It’s the sequel to ‘is it god or is it me?’ aka the latest installment in the song of songs series. The tale of a prisoner who spits in the face of god and a nun plagued by doubts continues. After the prison riot that frees Herbert West, he now faces a future that he did not expect to have. But the course of true love never did run smooth, as the saying goes. 

series masterlist

warnings: canon typical language, some mild violence. mother superior being classist, sexist, racist, and generally shitty. canon typical body horror. hallucinations. a nightmare inspired by the ‘giving head’ scene from the first movie. angst. i wrote this while mentally spiraling at points. 

word count: 11k

co-written with @deviantdrkate​

i. Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please, don't take that sinner from me (August 2000)

When she had heard the special bulletin, Elena had been in her room, watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on a small portable television. Most of the other sisters were in the rec room, watching The Sound of Music on VHS, which she would be thankful for later. That meant she was the only one who had heard about the riot as it was happening, the rest learning about it the next day.

The prisoners at Arkham State Penitentiary had rioted to the point where the prison was in chaos and the inmates had taken over. People were already being taken to the hospital and people were rumored to be dead. The city police force might not be enough to handle the situation.

But all Elena could see was an opportunity.

When she slipped out of a side door, Elena was wearing jeans, a striped shirt and sneakers, nothing like what she usually wore to the prison. Even her hair was different, loose and uncovered. Hopefully she would blend in with the crowd that was surely gathered to gawk at the mayhem. Though she wasn’t there to do that. Not exactly.

As much as she loves him, she knows that Herbert is going to take advantage of this situation. Elena would be surprised if he was totally unprepared. Though, unlike she would have been as little as a month ago, she’s torn about whether or not she wants him to try. She knows that if he fails in his escape attempt, he would be locked up in max for the rest of his life. Visits would be restricted, no contact affairs. Herbert would never be able to hold their child and only be able to see them through a pane of glass, if at all. If he succeeded, he would be a man on the run. But maybe, just maybe, they could be a family.

If God allowed it, then she would run away with him.

So, Elena waits outside of the prison, standing with the crowd, frantically watching everyone who leaves the prison, trying to position herself near the front, but also on the edge of the crowd. Hopefully he can see her, and they’ll be able to slip away into the night. She can’t wait for the moment that their eyes finally meet outside of the prison walls for the first time.

But that moment never comes.

Eventually, the crowd disperses, and she has to go back to the convent. It’s past midnight when Elena pulls into the parking lot of the 7-11 that she had frequented when she had been a teenager. There’s enough spare change in her car for her to buy a large Coca-Cola Slurpee, which she drinks as she sits on the hood of her car, staring at the nearly empty parking lot, but not really seeing.

The days that she had spent loitering here with her friends feels like a lifetime ago. She is only twenty-four now, but this is one of those moments where she feels ancient, older than the words in the book that should be guiding her every move. Back then, she had felt like her life was going nowhere and that she would be stuck in the dead-end waitress job she had been working at the time, living out a life that didn’t feel meaningful. Her anger had been expressed via her fists more than once, often in this very parking lot.

And she’s practically back where she started. Once again, she’s living a life that doesn’t have much meaning. But things are different now, because she knows what will give her life the meaning she’s been searching for. It’s not something she can put into action right away, there are steps she needs to take. But she’ll get there, she knows it. And for the first time, Elena has hope that Herbert will be at her side. They can start over together. The three of them.

It’s a fragile feeling, but it’s there, burrowing into her chest as she pulls out of the parking lot and drives back to the convent.

--

“Several prisoners are presumed dead…”

The newscaster’s words grab Elena’s attention and she stops kneading the lump of dough on the kitchen counter. The TV is in the corner of the room, where she and several other nuns are working on making food for some sort of church event that’s happening tonight.

“Turn it up, turn it up,” she asks Sister Mary Clare, who is the closest to the TV. The other woman obliges, and the volume is raised just as the names are beginning to be read off in alphabetical order. Please, please, please, Elena prays as she listens, trying to keep the dread away. Please be okay. They’re so close to having what they had always assumed would be denied to them. It can’t end this way; she thinks just as the list is reaching its end.

The final name makes her blood run cold.

“Herbert West.”

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, she thinks, hysteria rising up. Elena can’t describe the sound that escapes her, something between a sob and a cackle. She needs to hold onto the edge of the counter to stay upright, but it doesn’t help for long. When she hits the floor, her head makes a sound that terrifies the other sisters, who surround her, asking what’s wrong but not getting an answer.

ii. silent night, holy night (December 2000)

Things have been…fine for Dan Cain over the last 13 years.

After the trial, he had left Arkham entirely, having only stuck around because it was required of him. Somehow, he had held onto his medical license. The coverup had actually helped him, since employers who asked Miskatonic about him only heard good things and coverage outside of the general area had been minimal. So, he had settled into life as a general practitioner, working in DC and living in the suburbs just outside the nation’s capital, in a small house not unlike the one he had been living in when the whole mess started. Coming back to where he had been born and raised had been good for him, he thinks.

Though sometimes, it felt like something was missing. That spark life had held back in Arkham. But Dan was sure he had done the right thing. Herbert had needed to be put in jail; he had gone so far past the edge that it seemed like there was no pulling him back.

But he hadn’t deserved to die.

Hearing of Herbert’s death had been a bigger blow than expected. Dan had actually mourned his former friend. Though at the time it had been unconfirmed, just extremely likely. But there had been no further news on him, so he probably wasn’t on the loose. It hadn’t seemed real, that Herbert had been able to die at all, much less during a prison riot. But maybe he had tried to do what Dan assumed he would do and had died in his escape attempt. Not that it mattered what had led to the man’s demise, death had finally come for Herbert West all the same.

Two days before Christmas finds Dan at home, channel surfing after having leftover Chinese food for lunch. His house isn’t really decorated for the holidays, save for a wreath on his door and a small nativity scene figurine on the console table in the foyer. It’s been a while since he’s been fully in the Christmas spirit. The last time he went all out had been the year before everything had fallen apart. Decorating the house by the graveyard had been his way of trying to bring joy to that dreary place. Results had been mixed, but he had at least tried.

The doorbell rings just after Dan stops on a news channel, his attention quickly diverted from a story on a body found in Brewster County that could be related to another one found earlier in the year. He wonders who would be out ringing doorbells instead of literally anywhere else.

Peering through his peephole, he sees only one person. A woman, with copper skin and dark hair. There is a colorful hat on her head that reminds him of the ones he saw people wearing in Peru and she’s wearing a black winter coat. A large travel bag is slung over her shoulder.

“Can I help you?” Dan asks after opening the door, though the chain lock is still on, just in case. He studies her through the gap. She’s young, mid-twenties at the oldest. Her eyes are a deep brown and there is a faint sadness in them that seems familiar, but Dan can’t quite pin down what it is.

“Um, yes, yes you can. You’re Daniel Cain, right? The one who used to live in Arkham and with Dr. Herbert West back in the 80s?” The woman’s tone is polite, but her voice still makes his blood run cold. She has a thick Arkham accent, which is nearly indistinguishable from a Boston accent, at least to Dan. It takes him back there for a moment. Even after so many years, the sound of a Boston accent, or anything similar, makes him want to flinch. .

“What do you want, Miss…”

“Vidal. Elena Vidal. I’m from Arkham.” The woman almost hesitates when giving him her name, but Dan knows when someone is lying and that’s not happening right now.

“I figured as much. You sound like it.” He sighs. “Look, I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not giving you an interview. Or a quote. That part of my life wasn’t put out there for public consumption when it was fresh and it’s not going to be just because Herbert West is dead.”

Dan starts to shut the door, intent on not giving this woman any more of his time when she blurts out something that makes him stop.

“I knew him. He was…we were…” She stammers and presses her mouth together for a moment. “We were close.” There’s some fumbling, because of her gloves and the many layers she’s wearing, but she pulls out a necklace, unclasps it from around her neck and hands it to him. “He gave this to me.”

It takes a moment for Dan to recognize what’s in her hand. He hasn’t even seen his ID tags in years, he’s not even sure if he still has them, much less knows where they are. The information on the tag is Herbert’s and it’s worn. Peru rushes back to Dan for a moment and he mutely hands the necklace back to Elena, who puts it back around her neck.

“Come in, come in,” Dan mutters once the door is fully open. He leads Elena to the living room, quickly turning off the television. Whatever she has to say, he wants to hear. When he turns around, she’s taken off her coat. Under it, she had been wearing a dark green sweatshirt, which could not hide what the coat had managed to conceal. “How far along are you?”

“Six months.” Elena glances downward, resting a hand on the bump. “It’s a girl.”

“Is it…?” Dan is sure of the answer, but he figures that he has to ask. Herbert had never seemed interested in any aspect of a relationship but considering the comments he had made about Dan’s sex life; Dan had never thought of Herbert as the sort of person who had sex. In the back of his mind, he was assuming that the father was someone else, a boyfriend or husband that wasn’t with her for some reason.

“Yes.”

Somehow, Herbert continues to appall and surprise Dan, even from beyond the grave.

“How did you two meet?” Though Dan really wants to know how Herbert had gotten someone pregnant, how he had gotten someone to care for him. Because he realizes why that sadness in her eyes is so familiar. It’s that sorrow that comes with grief, that inner desolation that follows a great loss. In the back of mind, he notes that she’s around the same age as he had been when Meg had died, and it hits him how young that is.

“Two and half years ago, my order-.”

“Your order?”

“I used to be a novitiate. A novice nun. I was a part of Our Sisters of Our Lady of Sorrows. The church tasked us with the reopening of the prison chapel, but since we were stretched so thin, when the sister who was supposed to work with me quit, it was just me. Herbert had been assigned to help us. The warden hated him, so it was probably his idea of a joke. We wound up talking a lot while we worked. He didn’t want to go back to his cell, and I didn’t want to be alone, so he would stay until it was time for me to leave, even if there was no work needed to be done. Things just…happened.”

Obviously, Dan thinks. That’s how it goes with Herbert. You meet him and things just happen. Whatever he’s planning is going to happen, no matter what you want or what your plans are. Dan wonders what the plan was this time. Maybe he would have used her to escape, or maybe as a test subject. Clearly, Herbert had wielded a significant amount of influence over her.

“Did he try to get you to help him? Look, I know better than anyone what Herbert can be like. He can convince you of anything, it’s like he has a power over people. Whatever happened, whatever he had you do, it’s not your fault.”

“He didn’t make me do anything!” Elena’s outburst is sudden, it even makes Dan jump a bit. “I loved him. Herbert never asked me for anything. Everything I gave him; I gave him willingly.” Her voice catches and she leans forward, wrapping her arms around her belly. “We promised each other ‘part, but never be parted’. But I broke those  vows and now he’s dead!” She is shrieking, sobbing and Dan has no idea what to do but awkwardly pat her on the back. “I never should have broken off contact. But I was reassigned and it seemed easier than trying to figure something out. And then I found out about the baby and it felt like everything I had been worried about was stupid...”

“So, this wasn’t planned?” Dan has to ask. Fetal stem cells have been a hot topic recently and he wouldn’t put it past Herbert to conceive a child solely for the purpose of harvesting them. Though how he would do that from behind bars, Dan isn’t so sure. But if anyone could, it would be Herbert.

“No. This was an accident. And I don’t know if he ever even knew about her. I wrote him a letter, but I don’t know if he ever got it.” Elena lets out a shaky breath and straightens up, her arms remaining around her belly. “Mother Superior tried to get me to give her away. She said that it would be for the best. The baby would have two parents and I would be able to resume my life. But I can’t give her up. So, I’m leaving Arkham. My grandmother lives in Texas, so I'm going to live with her. Since I had a few hours in between trains, I decided to come here and see what you could tell me about him. So one day, I could tell my child about her father. Even the bad parts. I know he did a lot of bad things. He was not a perfect man. But he was mine.”

It’s not something Dan thought anyone would say about Herbert. He’s amazed that his former friend was able to even have one civil conversation with a woman of faith, recalling how any hint of religion would make him roll his eyes and mutter a snarky comment at the very least. But maybe Herbert had grown as a person while behind bars. Whatever led to this, whatever this had actually been, it was clear that their relationship had meant something to Elena and that her pain was very real.

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything. But only if you return the favor,” Dan says softly. He would have wanted something like this if he had needed it, after Meg died.

“Deal.”

Not everything can be covered in the two hours they have. But Elena hears more than enough. It’s painful at times, but she had known it would be. In exchange, she lets Dan have a copy of the sonogram when he asks for it. They had given her two and she had been carrying around both of them, maybe for this very purpose.

When they say goodbye, they’re both thinking about how they’ll probably never meet again, but this still brought closure. Elena now knows more about the man she’ll love until her dying day. Dan knows that Herbert was capable of changing, that deep down, he had been human after all.

iii. flashback interlude (October 2000)

“We found a family that’s willing to take it.”

In response to Mother Superior’s statement, Elena just stares at the older woman blankly.

“They’re coming tomorrow. Do you remember what we agreed to tell the parents?”

“I’m not a nun. The father is dead. I don’t want to raise this baby alone.” Her tone is empty, there is no inflection as she recites the story they had been practicing for months.

“No, you don’t want to raise this baby at all.”

“I don’t want this baby. What I want is for good people to raise it.”

“Excellent, Sister Mary Rose.” Mother Superior pats Elena on the shoulder. “This is for the best. It deserves better than you. Once all of this is over, you can be fully absolved of your sins and continue your path here.”  

“Thank you for your counsel, Mother Superior.”

Numbly, Elena walks out of the office and back to her room. It had been two months since the riot. After she had collapsed in the kitchen, she had been taken to the hospital and that was when the news had come to light. As soon as Mother Superior had walked into the hospital room, Elena had known that all of her plans for leaving were dashed. That hope for a new life dying had been the last thing she had felt. Ever since, she had felt hollowed out, unable to feel anything. Grief had taken nearly everything from her, and Mother Superior was working on taking what was left.

Ever since she had come home from the hospital, Elena had been living in a state that felt like it was between living and dead. The pain had been so great that it had looped back into emptiness. The doctor had suggested a therapist, but Mother Superior had thrown away the referral paperwork and Elena had only been to the doctor when it was about the baby. It needed to be healthy for someone to take it.

Maybe it was for the best. It wasn’t like she had anyone to help her. The man she loved was dead. Her family didn’t know, as Mother Superior had convinced her to not tell them. They would disown her for breaking her vows or worse, want to keep the child for themselves while she continued her life here, her mentor claimed. Very few people knew, as Elena had been able to hide her growing belly with sweaters so far. In a little while, they would claim she was going to do volunteer work in another state. Once all signs of her sin were gone, she would be allowed to return. It would be like this never happened.

There is a fluttering in her stomach as she sits on the edge of her bed, a box in her lap. Inside a hidden compartment are the few things she has left to remind her of Herbert. The letter she had never sent him, a clipping from an old article, the picture over a decade old, and his ID tag. Once the baby was gone, this would be all that was left to remind her of him.

The box goes back under her bed. And then she feels the fluttering again, but this time, it’s stronger. Almost like something is flicking her skin.

When it hits her, Elena gasps and tentatively touches the slight swell of her stomach. And it happens again, a definite little movement. Her baby is moving, it’s alive and it’s almost like it responded to her touch.

The burst of love that courses through her is the most she’s felt in months. And now, Elena knows that she can’t give this baby away. Everything else falls into place quickly after that.

Mother Superior is still in her office when Elena walks in, her head held high.

“What is it, Sister Mary Rose?”

“I can’t do it. Call those people, cancel their appointment. I’m going to go home and if my family won’t help me, I’ll figure it out on my own.” Elena’s former confidence is coming back to both her voice and her posture.

“Don’t be foolish, Sister.” Mother Superior’s voice is cold, but dangerous, as she rises from her desk. “You know that you can’t do this alone. Giving the child to people who can raise it right is for the best. We have discussed it.”

“I won’t be alone. Not with my baby.”

“What sort of life will you be able to give it?” Mother Superior is hissing, glaring as she moves closer and closer. “A single mother with no support network. You can’t function outside of these walls; the last two months have proven that.”

“Only because you haven’t let me get any help!” Elena is seething, her hands shaking even as she tries to ball them into fists. “I am not going to let you tell me what to do anymore. This is my baby. No one is going to take her from me.”

The slap comes swiftly, and Elena feels her face stinging before she realizes what happened “You stupid little whore,” Mother Superior snarls and grabs her chin. “It’s bad enough that you spread your legs for the first man to look at you. Though that’s to be expected from a girl like you. You pray to la Virgen María but then go out and have sex with any man who will have you. But I can save your wicked soul if you stay here and give that baby to parents who will hopefully raise her better than your parents raised you.”

Elena opens her mouth to speak, but Mother Superior’s nails dig into her skin hard enough to break it, robbing her of words. “The contracts have already been written and the first payment has been made. It’s as good as done. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find people willing to take your child?” Mother Superior lets go, nearly pushing Elena backwards as she walks towards her desk. “No one wants to pay good money for a mutt. But I found a couple who are that desperate. And your child is going to need good parents to make up for where it comes from.”

The line has been crossed, rage boiling in Elena’s veins as she calmly moves towards Mother Superior, whose back is turned to her. She grabs the first thing she sees that will do the job, moving with only one thing on her mind.

“God himself said ‘No bastard shall enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord’, but hopefully adoption will save your baby’s soul.” Mother Superior begins to turn around, smiling as if she’s just said what will convince Elena to do what she wants.

“That’s your God. Not mine,” Elena says as her rage finally boils over and all she can see is red. The statue of the Virgin Mary in her hands isn’t as heavy as she would have liked, but it will do the job. She swings it at Mother Superior’s head, the blow making her stumble, but not fall. “And my baby is not a bastard,” she adds before striking another blow, this one sending the older woman to the floor, her head barely missing the corner of the desk

When the fog lifts, Elena finds herself kneeling by Mother Superior’s unconscious form, the statue still in her hands, poised to strike. It occurs to her that she has the power for once and could use it to end the life of the woman at her mercy. And it’s tempting. For a few moments, she imagines turning the face before her into mush, somehow caving in the skull with the statue in her hands. The air would smell like blood, and everything would be a mess of blood and brain matter, maybe even fragments of bone, but at least the biggest threat to her and her baby would be eliminated.

But then she feels her baby kicking again and she puts the statue down. The personal satisfaction she would get out of murdering Mother Superior would not be worth the consequences. The mental fog clears, and she realizes that all she needs to get out of the convent. As soon as she was somewhere else, with people who would protect her, they couldn’t touch her. They wouldn’t risk their reputations.

It's time to go home, she realizes. Her family was a lot of things, but she’s certain that they weren’t the sort of people who would disown her and her baby because of the circumstances of the conception. This child had been made during an act of love and Elena would defend her choices to the death. She had chosen to love her husband, she had chosen to vow to live lifetimes with him, and she had just chosen to keep their child.

Shaking, she rises to her feet and goes to rifle through the desk drawers, looking for the relevant documents. She finds them and stuffs them into a folder, grabbing Mother Superior’s keys on the way out. They’re not even on her person, they’re on top of the desk. It’s as if God is telling her that this is the right thing to do.

It doesn’t take long to pack and within a half hour, Elena is in the convent’s van, driving towards Arkham. She’ll leave the van in the church parking lot and walk to her parent’s house from there. After that, she’ll finally be free.

iv. But what is grief, if not love persevering? (all that is left is the memory of his darling—his darling—his life and his bride) (August 2001)

When Herbert had left the prison, he had left with evidence of just how poorly run and corrupt the prison had been, which he had started gathering as soon as he had seen a chance to escape. It had taken over half a year, but he had managed to secure his freedom legitimately. Herbert West was no longer a wanted man. After regaining access to his bank accounts and securing a place to live, he was now working on getting his medical license back. Everything should have been going well.

But it felt like the world had stopped.

So, Herbert had gone to the one person he had left. Everyone else in his life was a professional contact, he could not afford to even hint at weakness.

It’s a warm summer’s evening when the knock on Dan’s door pulls him away from the television. For the briefest of moments, he feels something almost like déjà vu. When he sees who is on his porch, Dan wishes that he could say he was surprised.

“You’re alive.”

“I never claimed to be dead.”

Dan can’t argue with that. Herbert had been presumed dead, after all. “How did you manage it, then?”

“The inmates wore shirts with identification numbers on them. I put mine on a body. They assumed it was me for a while, until the DNA results came back. By then, my plan was already in motion.”

“Of course, you had a plan.”

The pair are in the house now, Dan leading his old friend to the living room. He listens to Herbert explaining how he had become a legally free man. The prison had been poorly run, the allegedly fully equipped medical facility in reality not having even basic first aid being the tip of the iceberg. The warden had been corrupt, high on his own power. Herbert had even managed to change opinions about the fire, showing evidence that there had been poor electrical work done by a guard who had lied about being a licensed electrician. So, he was no longer on the run.

Even after so many years, Dan can tell when Herbert is hiding something. He’s not lying, but he’s omitting something. As he talks about what he had been doing for the past year and what his plans for the future are, he’s stepping around things. The question is on the tip of his tongue, but Dan is holding back. He wants Herbert to tell him what happened to his family.

“So, what’s next?” Dan asks once Herbert’s tale is done.

“I will resume my life.” Herbert’s voice becomes clipped, and he stares at nothing for a few moments.

“That’s it? You don’t have anything else planned?” Dan is starting to wonder. Where are they? Did Herbert just decide to not be there for them? Had there been plans for her that had been cancelled, so she had been discarded?

“I was going to ask you to join me. You would be an asset and we always worked well together. My last assistant did not last long. He did not have the constitution and fortitude that you possess.”

“Your last assistant?” Anxiety makes Dan’s chest clench up.

“Howard Phillips, the prison’s new doctor. He was eager, but he couldn’t handle the results.”

That’s still bad, but it’s not what Dan had been fearing. “What did you do to him?”

“The warden killed his girlfriend. I brought her back, but the new element to my work still needs to be perfected. He had to kill her in self-defense.”

That was a lot of information to get in under a minute, but at least this time, Herbert hadn’t killed the poor woman himself. Or put her back together with stolen body parts. It’s a minor improvement, but Dan is going to take what he can get. “Jesus…” He sighs, dragging a hand over his face.

“Dan, I have something else to say.” Herbert’s voice has taken on an awkward edge. “The way I conducted myself when Megan died was unacceptable. You suffered a great loss, and I took advantage of your grief. I should not have done that. And I…apologize for my actions and the harm they caused you.”

When Dan had thought about what Herbert would say to him when they met again, this had not been close, even in his wildest fantasies. There weren’t even any attempts at trying to minimize things by saying he might have behaved poorly or that he may have caused harm. For the first time, Herbert is taking full responsibility for the events that had led to both of their lives being ruined.

“What brought this on?” Dan asks, slightly raising an eyebrow. Once again, the dread is creeping back and he’s starting to worry for real. Herbert would only be holding back if something bad had happened and since this is Herbert West, that something could indeed be very, very bad.

There is a long silence, Herbert averting his gaze before he finally begins to explain, looking right at Dan. “While I was in prison, I met a woman who worked at the prison. We became involved.” The pause that follows is shorter and Herbert even closes his eyes for a moment before continuing, his voice faltering. “She’s dead.”

“God, Herbert, what did you do?” The words fly out of Dan’s mouth before his brain can stop it, as it’s running through every possible way this could have happened. It takes him a few moments to realize that Herbert’s attitude doesn’t gel with having killed her himself, but by then, it’s too late. The accusation, though vague, has already been made.

“I didn’t do anything!” Herbert’s voice is filled with anguish and he drops his head into his hands, only looking up once he’s somewhat composed himself. “There were factors other than my incarceration that kept us apart. I did not want to contact her until the main hindrances to us being able to have a proper relationship were taken care of, so she would not have to worry about those matters. However, this was not the correct course of action to take.”

“What happened?” Dan has no idea how to feel about learning that Herbert seemed to have been trying to do a good thing for someone else, so he sets that aside because answers are more important.

Herbert can’t speak, he opens his mouth and nothing comes out as his thoughts become a dull roar. The mere thought of having to talk about it feels like someone is poking an exposed nerve. He needs more than a few moments before he can speak again.

“I should have come back sooner, Dan. Or at least written to her. I should have done something to let her know I would come back for her. If I had, my wife would not have wound up dead by the side of the road in Texas.”

It had been a little more than a week since he had been told what had become of Elena and as hard as he had tried to force himself to move forward, Herbert still felt the same agony as when he had learned of her fate.

--

(nine days ago)

The first place that Herbert had gone to find Elena had been the convent, of course. He had half-expected her to not be there, but because she was at her post. Not because she wasn’t a part of it any longer. So hearing just that would have been mildly worrisome, but the way the Mother Superior had said that Sister Mary Rose was no longer with them, that she had gone to be the with the Lord and how one of the other nuns had told him to ask her parents about what happened, the woman outright running away when Herbert had asked why she couldn’t tell him herself.

Using a phone book and memories of things she had told him, Herbert figured out where Elena’s parents lived. He parks across the street from the taupe Colonial home that he had heard so much about. Even before he had seen the house number properly, Herbert had figured that it was the house he was looking for. There was a green pickup truck that appeared to be from the 1970s parked in front of the house, a porch swing and the front fence was made of both dark and light wood. Elena had told him about all of those things over the years.

Eventually, Herbert gets out of the car and approaches the house. While he waits for someone to answer his knock, he wonders if Elena will be angry with him. But he’ll explain where he had been and what he had been doing, tell her that they could leave as soon as she wanted and then everything will be as it should be. If she wants to, then they can start that life they had both talked about wanting.

A man answers the door. He’s in his early thirties, with the same eyes as Elena and a shaved head. Clearly one of her brothers. “What do you want?” he asks, sounding almost bored.

“I’m looking for Elena Vidal,” Herbert says.

The man’s eyes narrow and when he speaks, the boredom has been replaced by suspicion. “Who are you?”

“A…friend.”

“What sort of friend?”  

“Is Elena living here or not?” Herbert is starting to become impatient, and it shows with how he snaps at the other man.

Before he can get an answer, a woman appears next to the man at the door and instantly he knows who she is. Martha Vidal is a black woman in her late fifties, with the same shaped eyes as her daughter, but hers are green. She’s a little taller than Herbert and her eyes go from mildly curious to cold very quickly. She pulls her son aside and they mutter to each other in Spanish. Herbert can’t make out most of what they’re saying, but he learns that this brother is named James and he catches a few other words. One of them makes his blood run cold.

carnicero

They know who he is and before he can even begin to consider a course of action, Martha is right in front of him, her eyes burning with anger. “So you’re the convict who got my daughter pregnant and abandoned her?”

Herbert’s response is a nonsensical stammer, and her words haven’t even begun to sink in before she continues. “Because of you, Elena had to leave Arkham. The nuns tried to force her to give up her baby and she didn’t feel safe here. So, she went to live with my mother in Texas.”

During the brief pause, he finds his words. “Mrs. Vidal, I had no idea that Elena was even pregnant. If I had known, I would have done the right thing-.”

But she cuts him off, the fury in her voice somehow icier. “It doesn’t matter what you might have done, Dr. West.” The loathing in Martha’s voice is downright terrifying. “You still weren’t there. And Elena was still alone out there, without anyone to protect her. No one knows what happened, but my daughter was found on the side of the road, dumped like garbage. She had been mutilated to the point where they needed to strip the flesh from her skull so they could figure out what she looked like when she was alive. Parts of her were missing. Elena was in a drawer at the morgue for months before they were able to find out who she was. The day before her birthday, the police called to inform us that Elena and her little girl were dead, and they had been dead for months. Though I suppose you wouldn’t count the baby, since Elena was murdered before she gave birth.”

A daughter. Elena had been carrying his daughter and now they were both dead. Even if he could have gotten to the body in time, the reagent wouldn’t have been useful. Herbert doesn’t know what to feel. Everything is crowding his brain, pushing at the edges of his skull and he wants to scream.

But he doesn’t.

In silence, Herbert turns and leaves the Vidal family property, getting into his car. He drives in silence, eyes almost not seeing as he returns to the place that he had thought they would be sharing. The one-bedroom apartment suddenly seems too big. The emptiness seems endless, and he knows that he can’t stay here. The majority of the plans for his new life seemed pointless now. Herbert just wants to go, and he doesn’t want to do it alone.

As soon as he can, he heads south, where he knows Dan will be.

--

“What are you going to do now?” Dan asks, his tone cautious. If Herbert is as bad off as he thinks, then he’s going to be more of a wild card than he already is. The thought of him being completely unfettered, driven by loss in the same way Dan had been all those years ago, it’s unsettling.

“You already asked me that,” Herbert snarks, as if he is barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “I’ll give you some time to think about my offer. I do have some unfinished business in Arkham, but it can wait.” They’re already sliding back into their old ways. It’s understood that Herbert is going to be staying here until Dan gives him his answer. “It will be like before, only without the issues we had in the past.”

Then it wouldn’t be like before, Dan thinks. Because before it had been almost nothing but issues. But they’re both different men now, older and wiser, their experiences having taught them quite a bit. Herbert has definitely changed, something that Dan had never thought possible.  So, he can at least think about taking Herbert’s offer.

Deep down, Dan knows he’ll take it. Despite everything that happened, life when Herbert had been in it had always been interesting.

Suddenly, he’s reminded of a moment from back in the old days. Herbert was bent over his workstation, hard at work, going back and forth between a microscope and his notes. Dan didn’t want to be down here, in the basement that smelled and felt like death. He tried to reason with his roommate again, tried to make him see that he needed to have a life. The Work was important, but there was more to life. The Work isn’t the end all, be all. What Dan wanted was to live and the irony that The Work is keeping him from doing that had not escaped him. He told Herbert that he wanted to get married, have a family and he couldn’t do that if he was always down here. “Wives are overrated,” Herbert said, his voice tinged with disdain at the mere idea. “And you have The Work. Why do you need a family?”

And now, years later, he had referred to a woman he was clearly grieving as his wife.

“She was here. Before she…” Dan finally admits.

“What?” Herbert’s voice has an edge that Dan can’t put a name to.

“Elena came here when she was on her way to Texas. She said that she tracked me down so I could tell her about you. It didn’t matter what I said. I think it was her way of trying to get closure.” Dan gets up and goes to the bookshelf at the other end of the room. Tucked in the pages of an old textbook was the photo Elena had given him. “She gave this to me. But you should have it.”

Herbert’s hands have the slightest tremble to them when he takes the photograph from Dan. It’s in black and white, the gestation age is labeled as being at 22 weeks. The fetus looks more human than those in the earlier stages. He can imagine Elena’s excitement, she would have considered it as good as alive.

A little voice in the back of his mind reminds him that Elena had been carrying his daughter, who would be five months old now. She likely had a name picked out and maybe even things for the child. The girl. Herbert wonders if Elena had begged for the child’s life, because it could have survived with the proper treatment. But there is no use in dwelling on it, because he can’t change the past. He will never get either of them back.

“Thank you,” Herbert mutters, still looking at the photo, not realizing how tightly he’s holding it. “How was she, when you met her?”

“Sad. But I think she was hopeful.” Honesty is the best policy and Dan knows it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. It feels like rubbing salt in the wound. “She loved you.”

“Did she? How do you know that? Were you able to tell by the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice?” The bitterness in Herbert’s voice grows with every word, but it drains away when Dan responds.

“I know because she told me. Elena cried over you. She regretted everything that kept you apart and wished she could take it all back. And even after I told her everything about what you were like when I knew you, it didn’t change anything.”

Herbert is once again silent. He had told her almost everything and Dan likely filled in the blank spaces. And it had changed nothing.

“I…” Herbert can’t say it. The words stick in his throat. “I felt the same way. About her.”

They sit in silence for what feels like an eternity, thinking about their losses and wondering what their soon to be shared future was going to be like.

v. the horror at being left behind (March 2002)

They’ve been driving for the past ten hours. Herbert hasn’t slept in at least two days. If they keep up the pace, they’ll be in El Paso before dark.

It will be the fourth city they’ll have lived in since they have become traveling physicians. Neither of them is interested in putting down roots at the moment and they have a legitimate reason for always moving. The work is going slower than both of them had thought it would, but it’s going. Sometimes, Herbert seems like his old self, the man that he had been before prison. Dan usually thinks he’s going to be okay.

When they had learned that their next opportunity was in El Paso, Dan had been worried for a bit.  He didn’t know how Herbert would react to the mere idea of being out there. Even though the man who had probably killed her had recently been caught. A serial killer had been roaming Texas, killing mostly Latina women and more than one of his victims had been pregnant. Multiple victims were Jane Does, though some had been identified, but their identities were being withheld from the public.  But they don’t try to learn about it. Dan can’t stomach that sort of thing and Herbert knows he’ll go down a path that will lead to nowhere good. He won’t be able to stop thinking about if Elena had suffered at the hands of that man and what had been done to her.

But he still thinks about her often. Rarely does a day go by that he doesn’t think about her. Herbert wears a wedding band purchased from a pawn shop on his finger and her cross around his neck. The latter is always tucked under his shirt, hidden most of the time. He doesn’t want questions about his faith, because he has none. He never had any and if he had ever possessed it at any point, he would have lost it after Elena’s death. After all, her allegedly loving God had repaid her lifetime of devotion with a brutal end.

They lose their pace some point before noon. They hit a traffic jam in what could be considered the middle of nowhere, cars backed up for what seems like miles. Dan sighs and begins to fiddle with the radio, since the signal has probably improved enough to actually find something to listen to. Herbert stares out the window, still irked that Dan had decided it was no longer safe for him to drive.

When they finally move, they barely go anywhere. Just far enough for the deer at the side of the road to come into view.

It’s been dead for some time, though from the car, Herbert can’t pinpoint for just how long. It’s facing the road, allowing him to see the creature’s glassy, unseeing eyes and the slit open belly. He can see the dried blood staining the fur, how there had been an attempt to slit the animal’s throat.  

And then the static from the radio breaks and he hears a song that he would rather never hear again.

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight 'Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me

It had been one of Elena’s favorite songs. ‘Dreaming of You’, sung by a woman who had also been murdered. Herbert wants to cover his ears or at least ask Dan to change the station, but he’s frozen, unable to stop looking at the slaughtered deer as the song seems to slow and distort as it goes on.

Corazón I can't stop dreaming of you

That was what she had called him. Herbert can hear her whispering it in his ear, her voice full of affection and desire, he can practically feel her breath ghosting over his flesh. Corazón, she would whisper as their bodies pressed together, his ear against her chest, listening to the beating of her heart. And he would whisper back, Liebling, though perhaps not as often as he should have.

Herbert’s vision goes out of focus for a moment, and he needs to blink it away. When it is clear again, the deer suddenly seems closer and there is a bloody arm emerging from the slit in its belly. Fingers scramble for purchase in the dirt before they manage to hold onto something. The other arm soon joins its counterpart and slowly, the rest of the body forces its way out of the animal.

Elena’s flesh is decomposing, somewhere between bloat and active decay. Her hair is loose, a tangled nest with debris trapped in the mass. Her dress is the color of dried blood on white fabric and she’s barefoot, her feet cut up, as if she had been running through the wilderness. There is a slit in the midsection of her dress, showing that the flesh under it had been cut as well, looking like a crude attempt at a c-section. One of the straps of her dress has been cut, showing the deep slashes on her upper chest that likely extend to her breast. There is a deep cut on her forehead, going back into her hair, dried blood streaking down her forehead. Only one eye looks back at him, the other one still in its socket, but swollen shut.

When she moves, it’s stiff, her limbs jerking as she draws closer to him. She tries to smile with the remains of her mouth, her lower lip is practically gone and the upper one is halfway there. When she tries to speak, he can see that her tongue is nearly gone. Nearly black blood bubbles from her mouth, oozing down her chin.

But he still hears her voice in his mind, the word still full of the warmth that had always been present when she had spoken it before

Corazón

Herbert jerks back, nearly crying out. But then, she’s gone, and the deer is back where it had been before. It had all been in his head.

--

The traffic jam lasts several hours. It takes forty-two minutes alone for them to move enough to put the deer out of sight. They are definitely not going to make it to El Paso before dark. Dan wants to stop at a motel before the sun even sets, but Herbert manages to convince him to let him drive, though Dan insists that Herbert eats first. So not for the first time on this trip, Herbert forces down a Happy Meal, the toy that had come with his dinner joining the rest in a bag on the floor of the backseat.

The sun is almost done setting as they’re once again the only ones on a long stretch of road. Dan is in the backseat, a hat over his eyes as he naps. Herbert enjoys the silence, relishing in it. It’s soothing, something he needs after what he had seen earlier that day.

But then the noise comes back when he sees a figure standing on the side of the road, their thumb out. Herbert slows down, not planning on stopping, much less letting this person into his car. Though when he sees that the woman asking for a ride is noticeably pregnant, he finds himself stopping and rolling down the passenger side window.

“Where do you need to go?” Herbert asks, his tone neutral as half-formed thoughts flit through his head. He wonders if this is how Elena had met her end. Alone in the middle of nowhere on a dark and lonely road like this one. Giving this woman a ride isn’t going to negate what happened and bring her back, but he still feels compelled to at least ask.

“Not far,” the woman replies, her eyes darting to the backseat, where Dan is still dozing. She names a town that Herbert knows will add a half hour or so to their trip. And after the several hours that had been wasted just sitting on the road, thirty minutes is nothing. It’s what Elena would insist that they do, he realizes and that’s when he says that they’re going that way, so they can take her.

There is a long pause as she mulls her options over before she nods and gets into the car, taking the bottle of water Herbert offers her. It’s still sealed, assuaging any concerns about it being drugged.

“My name is Valentina,” she says as the car resumes moving. “What is yours?”

“Herbert. My friend back there is Dan.”

That seems to put her a little more at ease, though Herbert can’t blame her for being tense. It’s a dangerous world and she could be classified as vulnerable.

“So, you are a man of faith?” Valentina asks after several minutes of silence that felt much longer.

“Excuse me?” Herbert is confused by her question, nearly taking his eyes off the road.

“I noticed your cross.”

Somehow, it had come out from under his shirt, a rare occurrence. Herbert has never had to answer a question about it before, so he doesn’t have an answer prepared. But he needs one quickly, so he winds up being honest. “I’m not religious. The cross belonged to my wife.”

“You’re married?”

“I was. She died last year.” In response, Valentina makes a surprised noise and Herbert knows he needs to clarify. “Lung cancer. It spread quickly.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for your loss.”

The lie doesn’t sit well with Herbert, another rarity, but he forces it down and nods. It’s the first time he’s ever spoken of Elena out loud to someone other than Dan. People tend to not ask him questions, they want to get to know him as little as possible, which is nothing new and he’s always been fine with that. That is something prison didn’t change about him.

Dan wakes up not long after that, stirring out of his peaceful rest with a murmur that makes Valentina jump. They’re not far from where she’s heading, which Herbert tells Dan right away, to keep him from saying anything that would cause concern. Though Dan doesn’t wind up saying much, not until they’ve stopped at the shopping center where Valentina asked to be dropped off and Herbert asks her, to the surprise of everyone, if she’s sure that someone will be meeting her soon.

“Herbert’s not trying to be nosy. Ever since they found his wife’s body around these parts, he’s been on edge.”

Valentina’s expression is one of pure alarm, the sort of look that tells you that you need to get out of there, fast. Dan realizes that he said the wrong thing just before Herbert speeds out of the parking lot.

--

“So what was that all about?”

“What was what all about?”

“You picking up a hitchhiker.”

Rather than respond, Herbert makes a minor show out of flipping to the next page in the biochemistry journal he’s reading. Dan sighs and picks up the remote, though he doesn’t turn on the TV just yet. They drove for another hour before stopping at a motel, since it was clear they weren’t going to make it to El Paso at a reasonable time. “It’s about…her, isn’t it?” Still no response. “Herbert, I understand what you’re going through. After Meg died, I went through the same thing. And Valentina kind of looked like Elena, so it’s understandable-.”

“All their appearances have in common are similar skin and hair color. They look nothing alike otherwise.” Herbert’s tone is ice cold, and he looks up from the publication in his hands. “It was not about her. You’re always telling me to try and be a better person and yet when I do so, you scrutinize it. It’s a very mixed message.”

All Dan can do is sigh and turn on the TV. He may never understand Herbert, not entirely. Every time he thinks he’s getting close; something happens that makes him start rethinking things. It's not the first time that he’s tried to connect with Herbert over their similar losses. Get him to talk about it, because it’s better than just bottling it up. Dan had tried to bury himself in school and then work, but all that had gotten him was the patchwork Bride that he will never forget or stop feeling guilty over. When he had woken up and seen Valentina in the passenger seat, there had been a moment where Dan had felt pure fear. Not again, please not again, he had begged the universe. He couldn’t handle another version of what had happened nearly fifteen years ago, only worse because Herbert would be doing it for himself and only himself. Or maybe it would have just turned into a kidnapping. Thankfully, that doesn’t seem to be something he has to worry about.

The TV is on some documentary channel, which Dan tunes out for a few minutes while he rifles through his bag, looking for his pajamas. When he starts listening again, he’s unnerved by the cheeriness in the host’s voice as she weaves a summary for the upcoming tale of, frankly, horror.

"Before our break we told you about a lovesick doctor willing to do anything to save his beautiful young patient, and how it quickly turned inappropriate. Now we'll give you the details on what drove Dr. Carl Tanzler to steal Elena's body for disturbing experimentation, that left her desiccated form unrecognizable."

Slowly, Dan turns to look at Herbert, who is staring at the TV, his entire body tensed as he stares at the screen. The only way Dan can describe the look on the other man’s face is ‘dead inside’, so he picks up the remote and frantically mashes the channel button until he settles on an episode of The Golden Girls.

But Herbert blankly stares at the TV for a long time afterwards, the journal open and ignored in his lap.

--

The hallway he’s walking down is familiar, Herbert realizing within moments that it leads to the Miskatonic morgue. The sight of the guard’s station informs him that it’s not just any night at the morgue, it’s that night, the night of the massacre. Herbert’s body seems to carry him through the doors leading into the morgue, despite him not wanting to go in there, knowing what is waiting for him there.

But he’s greeted by silence, as opposed to Meg’s screams of terror. Because it isn’t Meg on the exam table.

One arm is still free of the restraints, but it dangles loosely off the edge, as opposed to frantically trying to push the head away. Elena’s head is turned to the side, facing him. Her eyes are blank, though at least her skin isn’t tinged by decomposition this time. A torn open blouse is the only thing she has on, perimortem bruising in the shape of fingers on her breasts and thighs. There is a trickle of blood coming from the corner of her mouth, though no obvious wounds.

Hill’s head is between her spread thighs, grinning lasciviously as his body guides it farther up. “Such a sweet thing,” the head gasps, licking his lips.

And Elena just keeps staring at him, the emptiness in her eyes accusatory in a way that words could never quite manage.

All Herbert can do is watch.

--

Herbert wakes up in a cold sweat, shooting up in the motel room bed. The clock on the bedside table reads 5:19 a.m. They won’t be leaving for at least two more hours. Dan is still asleep, but Herbert still makes sure he’s quiet as he makes his way to the bathroom.

Nothing leaves him as he dry heaves into the sink, Herbert making sure that would remain the case before he splashes some cold water on his face. The images from his dream dance through his mind and he shudders, his hands still shaking as he turns off the water. Disgust makes it feel like his insides are boiling and he realizes what he had seen all those years ago and brushes off, which just makes him feel even worse. Thoughts of all those dead women that had been scattered across the state mix in with the guilt and he closes his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his head.

“You don’t really care.”

Elena is leaning against the wall, looking alive and well. She’s wearing the t-shirt and jeans she had worn when they had built the chapel’s confessional, her hair tied back in a simple ponytail. He reaches for her, but her next words stop him.

“It took you until your forties to realize other people hurt and that only happened because you were hurt first. By something that didn’t even happen to you.” Elena’s voice is harsh, and she rolls her eyes when he opens his mouth to protest. “Would you care about those women if I hadn’t ended up like them? If I were alive or had died some other way, would you have picked up that girl?”

It doesn’t take much reflection for Herbert to realize it’s true. “That’s not what it is, Lena.”

“Then what is it? Tell me, please.” She taps her fingers on the wall, though there is no sound. “All of those women were just like me. We were all just trying to live our lives, but they were taken from us. I’m no different. Meg was the same, just a girl trying to be happy in this horrible world. We’re all equal. You should have realized that a long time ago.”

Before he can fire back with a rebuttal, she’s gone and Herbert is alone with his thoughts once again.

vi. God gave a present to me/made of flesh and bones (March 2002)

Elena isn’t sure how long she’s been screaming. Or if she even started. It’s been hours since this started, and it’s been nothing but pain the entire time. It feels like something is trying to yank out her guts from the inside out, even before the blade slices into her flesh. They told her that she wouldn’t be able to feel it, but she can, she swears that she does.

They needed to do it. Something had gone wrong, her placenta had detached from her womb and if they didn’t cut her open, both her and the baby could die. From the moment she had gone into labor, Elena had known something was wrong, the pain and blood had been worse than she had been told it would be. Nearly the entire lower half of her hospital gown was red and she had barely been able to think by the time they wheeled her in for emergency surgery.

When she looks down, her belly has been sliced open, she can see inside of herself. Gasping, Elena grips the sides of her bed tightly as she watches hands enter her and then the pressure begins to build. Nine months ago, she would have cried out to God, but she just sobs and begs for the man she loves, her words slurring together as the tugging starts.

And then it’s over.

Elena feels like she’s very far away, almost as if she’s watching from a distance. The doctor holds her baby up and a faint voice says that it’s a girl. She can’t hold her head up much longer and it just drops onto the bed, which the nurses quickly take note of. Someone says that she’s hemorrhaging, people are running around, someone else is yelling now, but she can’t make out the words.

For a moment, she closes her eyes and when she opens them, he’s standing by her bed, looking down at her. She knows why he’s here. Everyone’s voices might be a mumbling blur, but she knows that she could be dying. He’s come to take her to whatever is next, to where he is now. But for now, he’s just watching the proceedings with an impassive gaze.

But she won’t go with him. Maybe she did at one point, but there is someone that is keeping her here. Maybe one day she’ll be ready to go with him, but not today. “No,” she says, trying to get him to look at her. “I can’t go. She needs me. You can’t have me.”

He turns to her, the light glinting off his glasses, making her blink again and then he’s gone. Elena feels the world coming back into focus and then she hears the strong cries of her baby and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.

--

It makes sense that she would dream about it. After all, it’s been a year since that day. And it’s been a while since she’s had that dream, so it was due.

Though some parts of the dream still don’t make sense to her. Elena stands under the shower’s steady stream of water, the tips of her fingers running over the scar on her abdomen as she loosely holds a bar of soap in the other. The man in her dreams, not just the one about the day her daughter had been born, is almost familiar. Once she’s awake, everything about him is lost. She only vaguely remembers what he looks like, doesn’t remember his name or why he’s important.

Whenever she thinks about how she had come so close to dying, at least according to the doctors, something wiggles around in the back of her mind. An objection to the very idea of death, sometimes she hears why should we be bound by something as simple as mortality? in a voice that verges on familiar. It’s a mystery, though one she isn’t eager to solve.

Because it doesn’t matter. What matters is her little girl.

After getting out of the shower, Elena goes to check on Johanna, who is still fast asleep in her crib, her chubby little hands clenched into fists and her brow furrowed, like she’s deep in thought.

“Happy birthday, mija,” Elena whispers. One year ago today, after giving everyone quite the scare, Johanna Catalina Vidal had been born, weighing in at six pounds and eight ounces and quickly making up for her silent entrance into the world. Already, she was such a smart, occasionally willful, little girl. There was something about the way she would look at people sometimes that apparently scared them, but Elena could only see good things in her child.

There had been a period of…difficulty that had started not long after she had given birth. Considering that Elena was Johanna’s only parent, her father not being around, and everything that had happened before she had even given birth, it shouldn’t have been a surprise. It had started with a lot of crying and ended with her spending a week in the ‘hospital’. Elena had only recently stopped seeing her therapist weekly, tapering down to every other week. She took her medication and knew that she could ask for help and it wouldn’t be shameful. Five days a week, she worked at her uncle’s handyman business, finally putting her skills to work. And she had something to look forward to. Once she was in the right place, it would be time to go to Peru and finally have their fresh start.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but they would make it.

--

The backyard of the Vidal home was filed with people that afternoon. Most of Elena’s siblings and their families had come, along with plenty of aunts, uncles and cousins. There were so many people there that it was easy to forget that there should be more. After all, Johanna did have a father. The man was out there, though very few people knew that. The only person under fifty who knew that was James, the brother Elena had always been closest to.

After she had come back from the hospital, Elena had come up with a story about Johanna’s father. He wasn’t around because he was working at an American research station in Antarctica. The man was not named, but she told people that Johanna had been named after his father, a doctor named Johan aka Hans, who was dead, just like the rest of his family. One day, he would come back, but Elena wasn’t holding her breath. She was doing well now, so they didn’t need him.

“Do you think that we did the right thing?” James asks his mother as they work on putting together the burgers for the kid’s table.

“Every day.” Martha’s tone is even as she works. “What sort of father would that man have been? And she had been through enough.”

Though to be fair, lying about Elena being dead hadn’t started with Herbert West. After she had left the convent, Elena had been paranoid. She hadn’t wanted to send the authorities the evidence of the church’s sketchy adoption practices until she had given birth and then still wanted to wait a little while longer. In the meantime, Granny Pearl had called the convent and claimed Elena had been found as a Jane Doe in Texas, and their assumptions that Mother Superior would stay quiet about it, for fear of having the authorities looking into her activities, had been correct. She hadn’t even told the pastor of the church the Vidal family went to, who was under the impression that Elena had just up and left the convent. 

But there had still been an investigation, or at least one had started. Elena had sent her evidence and a letter detailing where more could be found last July. And then a few weeks later, the convent had burned down, destroying so much evidence and scattering the sisters all over New England. Mother Superior was somewhere in Maine now, hence why Elena felt safe returning to Arkham. 

While helping Elena pack for her journey to Texas, Martha had found the newspaper clipping about the Miskatonic Massacre in her jewelry box. Until Herbert West had shown up on their doorstep, they had no idea why she would have such a thing. It had been easy to figure it out from there and they had decided that even though he was no longer a wanted man or considered a danger to society from a legal standpoint, they had to do what they could to get rid of him. It was about keeping Elena and Johanna safe and it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Who knows what had led to Johanna being brought into the world? Both of Elena’s parents vividly remembered what had happened back in the 80s, the chaos that had been wrought. Francisco had wanted to wring West’s neck and ask Elena what she had been thinking, but Martha had convinced her husband to just go with the plan that she and James had improvised. It was for the best, she had insisted.

Johanna has her father’s eyes, which hadn’t been obvious until she was a few months old. At this point, she’s too young to be sure if she has any more of his features, but it’s likely that she will. Not that it matters. They love her just as much as their other grandchildren. Maybe even a little more, since she doesn’t have a father. 

Though, like today, there are occasionally doubts about what they had done and the secret they were keeping. West had seem genuinely shaken by what they had told him, so maybe he would have wanted to be there. And while Elena had repressed all memory of him, she might want to remember and would want him in her life. Even when they remind themselves of his crimes, they wonder if they had been right to drive him away. 

But as Martha watches Elena play with Johanna, she feels okay about what they had done. Elena has finally found peace and her little girl is thriving. And that is more than enough. 

[doolallymagpie]

Same bat-time as last week, same bat-channel, it’s the ol’ “Doolallymagpie pours his brain out about the new episode of The Expanse”, with 6x04, “Redoubt”!

This episode sure had a lot going on.

Ah, the future wannabe God-Emperor. I’ll admit to booing him a little.

Alright, so Cara’s turning into a grade-school Herbert West. Fun.

And...Sanjrani’s gone right back to doing propaganda for Marco. Oof.

Again, we’re seeing Chrisjen’s growth since season one and two. And I’m very nervous about this strike the MCRN may or may not end up doing.

Monica! She’s still alive! (I mean I saw the BTS pics on Twitter, so I’d been a bit spoiled, but it’s nice to see on screen.)

Bobbie and Amos, singing some of Alex’s music, Bobbie fixing her armor, nice. (also, Wes and Frankie can both sing pretty well, when’s their album drop?)

I...really think Clarissa should’ve brought this up to Holden, not Amos. Or maybe Naomi. But I understand her reasons.

Love seeing the friction in Marco’s inner circle. Not just Filip having second thoughts. Even Rosenfeld’s a bit on the fence.

So we’re back to the gang snipping at each other. Oof.

There’s...several plausible BS explanations for that. And oddly, I’m glad Holden didn’t grab one, because that’s just not who he is. (But let’s be real: it’d freak Marco inside if he knew Holden absolutely chose not to end him there. He’d never show it, but it’d freak him the hell out.)

Filip’s a lot more likeable when he’s not around Marco.

Naomi, sitting in the middle of a hologram of Ring space, figuring things out. Very nice to look at. (Obligatory “steely-eyed missile woman” remark.)

On some level Naomi’s asking Holden to...not be so Holden. And...yeah, maybe he should ease up on those Paragon interrupts.

Filip and his tech buddy found the warhead! This is gonna get interesting.

Neat little makeshift cargo station, love it. And the shot of Drummer and her team coming up on it, very nice. Cinnamon Topography at its finest.

Oh no, Drummer took a hit! OH NO! JOSEP!

Now they’re really glad they couldn’t get Michio off the OH SHIT. OH GOD. GRUESOME. GRUESOME AS FUCK.

And of course, Drummer’s gotta Drummer, when the universe needs a daring pirate queen, it creates her.

So Bobbie’s gonna be the last to find out it wasn’t a dud, huh.

I...can’t actually argue with this, really. I was gonna, but even if it’s 100% justified, killing people fucks you up, psychologically. It’s actually extremely abnormal, even after military training that’s meant to make you more okay with it, not to at least feel really weird about killing someone.

You know, Cat Guy’s right. We’re all tired. We’re all just people. And we all just want to live our lives and pet our cats.

Really wish we’d got Holden doing “Humans of Space New York”, but at least it wasn’t totally lost in translation.

And then...feels like Monica’s been learning a lot being around Chrisjen. Just gonna throw that right in her face, huh.

Drummer declaring war, just going right out into the open, saying “hey, I took your stuff, I blew up what I couldn’t take, and you’re a little bastard man and nobody likes you. Die mad about it.” Beautiful.

I’d really started liking Rosenfeld. But then...yeah.

So they do know the missile wasn’t a dud. But they really don’t wanna think about why. Hm. Wonder why they’re so eager to brush it off as a malfunction...

And now, the reaction shot. Oh, that full speech. Beautiful. Beautiful.

And then...Filip just snaps back. His dad, living rent-free as the devil on his shoulder, completely silencing any angel that might be there again.

[chernobog13]

I was not a fan of 90% of DC’s Future State event this past winter, but that’s a whole ‘other post that I don’t feel like getting into right now.

However, I am happy with the soft reboot that happened on various DC titles after Future State ended.  The Flash is one such title.

Despite being treated atrociously for the last ten years or so, Wally West is back at the forefront of the book (yay!).  Sure, Barry Allen is technically still the star of the book.   Wally was all set to retire forever back in issue #768 (by my count that’s like the 17th time he was giving up being a superhero), but writer Jeremy Adams comes up with a clever way to thrust Wally into the starring role for a time-hopping Quantum Leap-type storyline, with Barry relegated to the supporting cast.

For those who don’t know, or are too young to remember, Wally West was THE Flash for almost twenty years after Barry Allen was killed off in Crisis on Infinite Earths.  A team of writers, artists and editors worked extremely hard for several years to elevate Wally from former sidekick to A-level superhero, and they did.  Wally became the first DC sidekick to take the place of his mentor, one of many legacy heroes.  

The Flash, with Wally as the lead, was a much more interesting book than it ever was under Barry Allen (whom I found rather dull and colorless).  It was great to see Wally’s progression from sidekick to hero to family man.  And it was the first time I actually became a regular reader of The Flash.

I was saddened when a new regime came to power at DC and Barry Allen was resurrected, because it meant that Wally was ignominiously shuffled off to comic book limbo.

Anyhoo, if you want the full story of Wally’s journey, I suggest you get a hold of Back Issue magazine #128 from TwoMorrows. 

With that long-winded introduction out of the way, let’s just say I’m a fan of Wally as The Flash, hate what DC has done to him lately, and very happy that he’s headlining again.

Writer Jeremy Adams seems to be a fan of Wally, too, and is having fun with him in this storyline.  In a previous issue he had Wally catapulted back to the dinosaur era, and there was a clever bit of Wally channeling Fred Flintstone as he slid down an apatosaurus’ back.

This issue Wally has leaped into fellow speedster (and original Flash) Jay Garrick’s body during the early years of World War ll.  Jay and fellow superhero Happy Terrill (aka The Ray) are tasked by FDR to go to the Philippines and acquire the Spear of Destiny before Hitler can get his hands on it.

A few quibbles here: Jay is depicted as having gray hair, but he was a young man in his prime in WW2.  With a veritable army of superheroes (called “mystery men” back then) to call on, why does FDR only send these two?  Why and how is the Spear of Destiny in the Philippines?  Where is it now that Wally/Jay and Happy stole it from Hitler?  Also, it seems that writer Adams has either forgotten or ignored the role Hitler and the Spear played in the formation of the Justice Society of America.

Of course I know DC’s answer to all these questions: don’t worry about continuity, it’s the Omniverse.

Those quibbles aside (I don’t want to seem like a continuity-obsessed fan boy), I did enjoy the story for what it was, especially since it gave Wally another chance to shine.  It’s also a lot of fun (the running gag of Wally/Jay talking to his “support team,” and Happy’s reaction to it, made me smile).

And did I mention the artwork by Jack Herbert and Brandon Peterson, with colors byMichael Atiyeh?  I didn’t?  Well I will, because it’s phenomenal!  Don’t take my word for it; buy this issue and see for yourself!

And did I say that this issue was fun?  All, that’s nothing compared to what’s planned for Wally’s next leap:

Oh, yeah, baby!  It looks like we’re going the Super Friends route, with Kevin Maguire doing his best Alex Toth-riff (look at Luthor’s face!)!  I can’t wait!

Post Script: why does it seem that whenever the Spear of Destiny is in a story it looks like it was drawn by a first grader?  I mean literally just two parallel lines for the shaft connected to a simple, small triangle at the end.

There are plenty of pictures of the actual spear, or at least the spearhead.  Would someone at DC please Google “Spear of Destiny” or “Spear of Longinus”  and then forward the photos to the artists?  Thank you.

[dykexion]

What are some of your favorite horror movies? I feel like the ones you reblog are super interesting ones I haven't heard of before!

oohohohoho okay thank u so much for this ask i am basicaly always willing to go a little off the rails abt my fav horror films :) this got a little long so i'm putting it under a read more!

i'll mention some of my probably less well known favs here because i think talking about movies like that is more interesting and it's always fun to find a good movie you'd never really considered before. i tend to mostly gravitate towards horror comedies and films with interesting practical effects, so that helps lead me to stuff that's not quite so mainstream

ok so first off, probably my fav horror film which i DEFINITELY recommend is behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon (2006). it's a meta horror comedy that's two parts mockumentary and one part actual slasher - the first 2/3 of the film is a student film crew following a guy (named leslie vernon) who wants to be the next big slasher a la freddy or jason (who are real people who existed in this universe) as he shows them the tricks of the trade and how he's setting up the place where he plans to make his killing debut, and the final part of the film switches to a more typical slasher type setting as the crew's conscience sets in and they get involved to try and stop leslie. i think it's a really fun film that you can tell had a lot of love and effort put into it. it's funny and the characters are enjoyable and it includes a character played by freddy krueger himself, robert englund which is always a bonus. my one friend who's really into horror films (including some really weird obscure shit) actually hadn't heard of the film before i convinced him to watch it with me and he loved it, so it's always something i try to recommend to people - especially since you can find the whole film on youtube. they also did a comic a couple years back which i haven't been able to read but it seems pretty interesting!

another fav of mine which is kind of a guilty pleasure is slumber party massacre 2 (1987). this one isn't actually a particularly good movie per se (it had a budget of $500,000 and grossed $1.3 million) but i personally find it really enjoyable due to some good practical effects, decent characters, and just how batshit crazy it gets - the killer is literally a leather-clad rocker who kills people with a giant drill attached to the end of his guitar, and he gets a musical number. where else am i going to get that but in this film? despite the kinda sleazy sounding name it's really not that bad and i personally think it's the best out of the spm trilogy (which iirc was created as satire), all of which were written and directed by women! also just look at this dude. i am obsessed with him.

probably my second favourite horror and also likely the most well known on this list as it's absolutely a cult classic is re-animator (1985) which i've been posting about a lot recently lmao. it's a (very loose) modernised adaptation of hp lovecraft's story herbert west - reanimator and i just think it is a delightfully fun movie to watch. it's just this gay little mad scientist and his well-meaning assistant/roommate (oh my god they were roommates) dan doing fucked up little experiments with this serum herbert made to try and bring the dead back to life, except it really doesn't work as he intended it to. it's funny and quite gory and has some pretty good practical effects which is always a bonus in my book. herbert west is a little fucking asshole and at one point he vibe checks a dude with an oversized shovel and then uses it to decapitate him with blood splatters galore. warning for a brief but very distasteful scene including aforementioned severed head (which has since been reanimated) and a naked lady, in case you haven't heard of that infamous scene which was really Not Necessary.

there's also from beyond (1986) that i've been reblogging stuff from recently which is another lovecraft adaptation (from a story with the same name) made by the same people as re-animator and starring mutlitple of the same cast members as well, including the actor who played the titular herbert west playing a main character in this film too. this movie is fucking weird man, it's just strange. my fav horror youtuber (scaredy cats) called this film "a horny puppet nightmare" in the video he did on it and that's definitely an apt description. there's uhhhh a lot of things wrong with this movie and it is DEFINITELY not for everyone but i enjoy it mostly for the cast, how batshit crazy it is, and also the effects. every monster in this movie (and there's a few) is so wet and slimy looking and i am obsessed with it. one dude basically turns himself into a gooey almost penis shaped monster it's so ridiculous there is so much going on in this movie like what the actual fuck.

leaving off this post here because i think if i say anything more it'll be completely unbearable and i think i've already said too much lmao so uh

tl;dr i largely love weird and funny movies which are often low budget and of....questionable quality that aren't as well known as more mainstream movies and i def recommend behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon, slumber party massacre 2, and re-animator in particular if you're into this kinda thing!

[batsforbadones]

Okay so in your love at first sight fic for Herbert West you said you didn't think he would be a love at first sight kinda guy unless it was with one of his creations. So now I'm wondering if I can request a fic where Herbert brings someone back to life successfully and this boy is just hooked instantly on her?

I was really hoping someone would ask about this just so I could talk about how I kind of think Herbert is a necrophiliac. I know that’s pretty rough but I mean-  Heyyyyyy if y’all want to hear about how I think Herbert West is loweky a necrophiliac, I’m down. That won’t be this post though.

He didn’t know ‘your’ name . He didn’t need to. To Herbert West, you were the fifth and final trial of this kind. To him, ‘you’, or what was about to become you, was a pile of dead limbs he hand picked from the nearby cemetery with one certain thought in mind. Perfection. Your hands would be that of a writer, as told by the callouses on both the left and right hands he’d acquired. You’d be ambidextrous, once he taught you basic motor skill again. Your hands would desire to move in graceful strokes of poetry and rhyme. Your legs were that of a soccer player who was crushed at a nearby construction site, her legs the only salvageable part of her. They were toned- Strong. A tattoo of a serpent winding its way down from the peak of your calf to your ankle- Stopping just before the feet of a trapeze artist. Years of balance and performance poured into your lower body alone.  Your breast and arms were that of a prudish college student a couple of universities away. She had passed from a simple concussion. A waste of a very attractive upper torso. She came into the morgue with ever sliver of skin covered by thick, scratchy fabric, laced in cat hair. Herbert West took the personal liberties of taking her untainted womb as well. The only concern Herbert had about this trial was the circumstances unto which he came into ownership of your heart. It was the only liability. He had managed to make you look as truly human as possible. Your tightly stitched skin hid meters of tubing deep within your body- He’d be able to test drive you in public, nonetheless. All it would take would be hiding that beautiful, stitch ridden torso- But the heart. It was such a volatile organ. One at such high demand- He couldn’t exactly fuss when one was practically handed to him. But there were so many concerns to be had. It was the human motor, after all. One wrong thing with the heart- even the most minor thing- Would cause you to implode before your eyes could ever reopen. Herbert was willing to take that chance. And here you were, air rushing into your lungs, and then back out again to scream at the top of your lungs- Pain. Inevitable, revitalizing pain. Your skin burn, your eyes watered, and you began sobbing in tandem with the shushing of the man beside you.

You - You- there was no sentience in you mere moments ago, and as if the world, God, to make up for that lack of time, gave you far too much. Voices- all crumbling down onto your brain- Screams of agony in the moments of death- A rage setting itself thickly beside a fear. You lunged at the man, knocking him back roughly against vials and beakers and packets of gunk and goop and blood- CRASH CRASH SMACK SPLAT.

Herbert starred upon you, your hair matted, smoke billowing off of your form- Upon his creation. And, much like your heart had moments ago, his began to beat. Violently. Sporadically.

“ Your name. “ He asked immediately. “ Do you have a name- ‘

“ Who are you?! “ You wailed, lip quivering as you took guard behind the table you once laid dead on. As you struggled to find a sense for the body, you did your best not to peer down at your hands- the ones you could remember crafting the story of mad man just last week- To look down at yourself, nude in front of a man you had never met- Oh what would your mother say if she saw your skin like this- To not peer down, at the ground, for if you did, there would be the inevitable plummet off of the tight rope that had led to your death- “ Dear god, who am I? “ You croaked.

“ I’m Herbert West. “ The man said, shakily. He slowly stood, hands tight on the wall behind him. He shoved his glasses up quickly. You’d turned out better than he had ever imagined. Better than he had ever hoped. And you were- stable. For the most part- Standing. Not leaking. Not oozing. Not decaying before him. There was color in your skin- Life in your terrified eyes.

Crying, is all you were. A crying mess of- Limbs. A beautiful, crying mess of limbs he made. 

A hand pressed to his mouth. He struggled to hide a shaking smile as tears sprung to his eyes. He couldn’t stop them from flowing, from feeling the weight in his chest evaporate at the mere sight of your crumbling form. You truly were his everything in that moment. The most precious human being he’d ever had the euphoria of laying eyes on.

He could sleep at night again.

“ I made you. “ He whispered, taking in a rough breathe of air, trying to calm himself down. “ My name is Herbert West, and I made you. “ He extended a hand that you flinched back at, tugging the gurney back toward you in a weak attempt at self defense. “ What’s your name? “

Emma Delilah Sophia Mary Melanie- Many names came to mind- Many fought to introduce themselves at various levels of vigor. Anger. Fear. Worry-

But a calling in your chest, the most dominant voice, tore its name from your voice box,

“ Y/n. “ It wept. 

[whiskehorange]

My Inbox is Open!! (24 hours)

Here are my “rules:”

❗️Please Read this!❗️

I do not have a character limit on a request, ask for as many as you want!

Make sure you look at my masterlist so that you know what prompts i’ve done before, I’d like to not have any repeats.

Please make sure you take into account who I have in my No NSFW and Platonic Only sections!

I will be leaving my inbox open for 1 day (24 hours!)

❗️If you could take the smallest break from Hellboy, Abe, & Prince Nuada that would be great. About 75% of my inbox before was only them and like the same request just worded a bit different and it gets tired writing for them sometimes. I’m not saying you can request for them, but just try to see what else I’ve written for them first!

It would mean a lot if you guys actually looked through this and read it. Of course, you can ask whatever you’d like, but maybe just to humor smaller fandoms, request some simple or basic asks for smaller characters, but that’s up to you!

Take your pick! (I’m splitting this into 2 groups: who I’ve written for and who I have not based on category)

Slashers:

Jason Voorhees

Michael Myers

Freddy Krueger

Bubba Sawyer

Thomas Hewitt

Pinhead

Billy Loomis

Jeepers Creeper

Hannibal

Otis Driftwood

Baby Firefly

Brahms Heelshire

Vincent Sinclair

Bo Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Harry Warden

Mayor Buckman

Chop Top

Nubbins

Pyramid Head

John Kramer

Amanda Young

Mark Hoffman

Jack Torrance

Norman Bates

Art the Clown

Stu Macher

Doom Head

The Man (Hush)

Carrie White

❗️Small/ unwritten for:

The Chatterer

Will Graham

Alana Bloom

Francis Dolarhyde

Vanita “Stretch” Brock (TCM 2)

Adam Stanheight

Lawrence Gordon

Wendy Torrance

Danny Torrance (Doctor Sleep)

Victoria Heyes (Terrifier)

Sidney Prescott

The Auditor (Hellraiser: Judgement)

John (He’s Out There)

Lizard (The Hills Have Eyes)

Leslie Vernon

Pennywise

Candyman

Herbert West

Tiffany Valentine

The Look-See

Non Slasher:

Hellboy

Abe Sapien

Liz Sherman

Prince Nuada

Princess Nuala

Beetlejuice

Yautja

Pavi Largo

Luigi Largo

Nathan Wallace

Graverobber

Bishop (Aliens)

Eddie Gluskin

Anton Chigurh

❗️Small/ unwritten for:

Johann Krauss

Ben Daimio

Alan “Dutch” Shaefer

Amber Sweet

Blind Mag

Graham Hess (Signs)

Merrill Hess (Signs)

Hexxus

Xenomorph

Ellen Ripley

Nick Jakoby

Richard Trager

Chris Walker

Lucas Baker

Mr. X

Llewelyn Moss

Jareth The Goblin King

Jack Skellington

Arthur Fleck/Joker

Morticia Addams

Gomez Addams

Debbie Jellinsky

Eddie Brock

Venom

Hopper (A Bug’s Life)

Stanley Ipkiss/ The Mask

Dorian Tyrell

❗️TV Shows (All unwritten for/small):

Jason Gideon

Aaron Hotchner

David Rossi

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Jennifer “JJ” Jareau

Penelope Garcia

Emily Prentiss

Holden Ford

Bill Tench

Greg Smith

Wendy Carr

Olivia Benson

Elliot Stabler

Alex Cabot

Casey Novak

Donald Cragen

George Huang

Amanda Rollins

Odafin Tutuola

Dominick Carisi

Rafael Barba

John Munch

Nick Amaro

❗️Anime (Small & Unwritten for)

Jiraiya

❗️No NSFW:

Hopper (A Bug’s Life)

John Kramer

❗️Platonic Only:

Barbara &/or Adam Maitland

Aziraphale &/or Crowley

Lydia Deetz

Shile Wallace

It would be appreciated if you took a look at what characters also don’t have much written for or have nothing at all, I’ve added these guys for you to enjoy, so give them love!

tag list, as requested!

@teen-lyoko-fan7777 @bowlovercat @tinalbion @veinsplitter @coffeeandslashers @trans-asshole @okamiredfoxx @boneshine @fnksensitivebri @kola95 @milk-rat @cth-uwu @fooisakiratrash @0-squid-0 @neuro3-17 @michaelmyersisdaddy6969 @fierysins @infernaltigris @im-a-lady-of-rage @divineslipcast @kitsuneoni-hime @lucifers-trash-stash @multifandomtrashempress @jae-writes-fanfiction @fvckyeahfanfics @n-kin-ururu @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @ladycignettacorvinus-blog @stewie-castle @fuckilived @joys-fandom @slasherscandoanythingtome @msmcqueenies @mysecondcarisa67chevyimpala @ruinofkings @proxy9301 @horrormomshoe @littlewierdalien @thatonespicytwink @flamingmace @soullessentity @hot-stickzz @stabby-sinclairs @strvw-berry @sowitchjellyfish @batsforbadones @scpdragon @youngcroissantturkeyworribler

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

Just...Hold Me: Herbert West x Male!Reader Drabble!

(okay, so i guess this is going up TONIGHT rather than like a week from now. i hope you enjoy!) (also i’m sorry this got fucking angsty i got too caught up in writing touch-starved herbert that i made this sad) (i promise it wasn’t on purpose)

     Tired. That’s all he felt at this moment. Just tired. Herbert had sworn to you that he would stop injecting himself with reagent after you confronted him in the lab downstairs, and there was no way in hell he was going against his word. He’ll just go upstairs, take a little cat nap, then get right back to work without having to bother you. Just like he always did. But this was a new kind of tired for Herbert. Hell, if anybody knew what tired felt like it was Dr. West. Psychical exhaustion was nothing out of the ordinary for the strange scientist, but this felt different. Like his brain just couldn’t work properly anymore, even though his body felt just fine. Herbert had thought something was wrong with him. Was he dying? No, that’s not possible. You had been coming down to check on him, making him eat and drink at normal times just like a good boyfriend should do. Then it hit him, after pondering what could possibly be the matter. Deprivation. He had kept something from himself, something that he couldn’t possibly be without for long. For weeks, Herbert had locked himself down in the basement away from you and he finally had enough of it. He wanted you to hold him again. No, not wanted, needed. Herbert West needed to feel loved again. He needed to make sure you were still happy with him.

     It didn’t take long for Herbert to find you sprawled out on the mattress of your supposedly shared bedroom, he was never in there enough to understand why you insisted on saying you shared it, drooling on your pillow and clinging onto Herbert’s like it could replace his presence. Herbert again stood and thought about what to do. He couldn’t possibly wake you, no that would just be cruel. He couldn’t interrupt your sleep just so you could fulfill his wants just so he could go back down to the basement and not even speak to you for another few weeks. Herbert couldn’t keep doing this to you. He felt bad. He felt guilty. The thought of you being better off with another man entered his mind and it made his stomach lurch while tears prick his dark green eyes. Herbert didn’t deserve you. You were perfect. You were handsome, smart, kind, brave, thoughtful, compassionate. Thanks to Herbert’s overactive mind, he just kept thinking about how much you could do without him holding you back. Without him being a burden. He tried to stop the tears, he really did but they just kept coming. Sobs racked the poor man’s body until he crumpled to a heap on the shag carpeting, hugging his shoulders while he rocked himself back and forth. His weeping was so loud, so upsetting, that it woke you. It was a rare sight to see Herbert West cry, and by god it was not a welcome surprise.

     Quickly scrambling to kneel next to Herbert, you quietly asked him what was wrong. What had happened that made him this upset? Nothing but desperate wailing was heard in return to your questions, and his rocking just got faster. You had no idea what had occurred, but you did somehow know that Herbert needed to be held. Wrapping your arms around his much smaller frame, you held his head to your chest. His tears soaked straight through the old t-shirt you had stolen from him, and soon enough you started to hear Herbert whisper “I’m sorry” over and over again. Even though it was muffled by your body and his crying, you still managed to catch him saying it.

     “What are you sorry about, Herbert? What happened?” The latter part of your sentence would go unanswered as you cupped Herbert’s jaw, looking into his bloodshot eyes to try and find a solution to this problem. Herbert’s lips trembled as he tried to speak to you and nothing came out but a very shaky, very incoherent explanation as to why he was crying.

     “I...I just...you deserve....and I can’t.......just.....hold me.” As soon as Herbert got those last two words out, he collapsed into your arms with yet another round of tears and the tightest grip around your waist he could muster. Petting his hair, you leaned against the bed, whispering about how everything was okay. You would find out what was wrong when he was finished with his breakdown, but for now you were going to listen to him. You were just going to hold him.

[jinxthequeergirl]

maybe smth with the moment herbert realises that he has feelings for the reader? only if u want to tho!!!

God I do love this man And I'm sorry If this is kinda like shitty? The ending is kinda cute tho

So enjoy! And thanks for the request!

You yourself were unsure how you managed to get yourself a quiet seat in Herbert West's lab, but you had managed it. 

And Herbert, to begin with, was not at all a fan of it. You would sit in the corner minding your business, until you would look up to see what he was up to and always, always seemed to have some sort of input. 

It drove him crazy. 

Until It didn't so much.

He found that he enjoyed your company and found you actually had some good insight on the work he was conducting. And instead of the previous loathing he felt towards you to begin with, he found that instead he looked forward to the time the two of you spent together. 

"What if you tried this?" You asked him, noticing he was struggling particularly hard today. "Pardon?" 

You stood up from your spot and Bumped him out of the way with your hip, picking up the pen and scribbling a few things on the page in front of you. 

The corners of his mouth twitched upward in a light smile at the playful move but was quickly replaced as he peered over your shoulder, slightly annoyed as he attempted to get a glimpse of what you were doing. You tossed the pen down and gestured to the page, stepping aside slightly for him to look. 

You tapped your fingers on the desk as you watched him look it over he finally glanced up at you. 

"This could work…" You grinned and stood up straight. "Really?" 

He nodded slapping the notebook on the desk and moving around in preparation to follow your work. The look of pride that filled your face made his heart jump in his chest. It made him sick, it's true he tolerated you as a friend so he found it odd that he was acting this way. 

"Is that Dans cat?" You asked a few hours later when you found Herbert making his way down the steps with said animal in his hands. 

"Yes." You frowned as he placed it on the table. "What happened to it?" You asked taking his place in front of it as he moved away, you looked at it sadly. 

He watched you do so carefully, calculating how to put his next words carefully as If not to hurt your feelings. why he cared? he couldn't tell.

"He suffocated while rutting around in the trash, ready?" He asked looking up at you. You nodded scooting over so he could take over new and hopefully improved Reagent in hand. You watched him carefully as he injected the reagent to the cat. 

"Ti-"

"Ten seconds." You said cutting him off and glancing at him with a smirk. "Thirteen seconds." On cue the cat began to twitch and move, letting out small meows. "Holy shit." You breathed out. 

"It's working…" He said softly both of you leaning in closer. Within a second the cat swiped at Herbert's face, scratching it. He stumbled back slightly as it stood up hissing at the both of you. 

"Hey, easy kitty...easy…" you reached out to pet him but he hissed again and bit your hand, wrapping it's paws around your arm. 

"Ah! Get off!" You shook your arm frantically tossing it from your arm. "Are you ok?" He asked coming over to you, taking your arm. 

"Just a few flash wounds, nothing I can't handle." You said smiling reassuringly.

 "Where did it go?" You asked, slowly pulling your hand from his. He frowned slightly as you did so and began searching the room for the Re-animated creature. 

Herbert following your action shortly after. You grabbed a shovel from the nearby wall and  held it tightly. 

There was a loud hiss from behind the both of you and it jumped onto Herberts back. 

"Shit! Herbert, stand still!" You yelled at him before finally getring a good enough angle 

To batting it across the room sending it straight into the wall.

You breathed heavily  huffing as you stood up straight and began to laugh lightly. 

"Holy shit...we did it!" You dropped the shovel and turned to herbert. "Herbert we did it!" 

He stared shocked for a second before laughing with you. "We did it!" He reapted after you. You happily tossed your arms around him to hug him, you both pulled away for a moment and He looked at you briefly before kissing you excitedly. 

You were shocked at first but kissed back,happy to do so. He pulled away but you chased his lips in a slight daze. He cleared his throat once the two of you broke apart. 

"Sorry."

"No, no it...it was uh good..good…" you chuckled brushing a finger over your lips with what he hoped was a smile.  

"Heat of the moment...ya know...whatever…" you cleared your throat. "Anyways Imma go it's late...We can pick this up tomorrow, NOT the kissing thing...th..the scientist thing!" You chuckled nervously bumping into the table behind you. 

He watched you grab your things and quickly head up the stairs. He stood there for a second in shock trying to put together what had happened. 

"Heat of the moment...right...that's all it was." He reassured himself turning to the now, once again, dead animal on the floor. 

As he did he thought, thought about how happy and excited you had gotten when it worked, how much he enjoyed your company as of recently, the feeling of your hand in his. 

He groaned and hurried up the steps thinking he could catch you, luckily Dan had caught you on your way out. 

"Oh, Herbert I was just saying goodbye to-" 

You froze in shock for the second time that night as he held your face in his hands and kissed you again You hummed lightly against his kiss and pulled away with a dazed smile. 

"Uhh...wh-"

"I don't want to call this Love, not yet Y/n but I definently feel something for you."

You stared at him in shock but laughed and nodded your head. "Dinner? Tomorrow Night, we can discuss it further?" You asked and he simply nodded. "Ok, uh tomorrow night then...Uh good night Dan...Herbert…" You slid out of the door and shut it behind you. 

"Wow...nice going Herbert.." Dad said from beside him with a smirk.