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#I’m so tired and kind of in a mood tbh
jocelynships · 1 year
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Finally made it home
Tonight was a fuckin’ mess
But at least my coworkers were as supportive as they could be and I really do appreciate the fact I seem to have some good people around me
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flutterby5 · 1 year
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#some days are so hard like I am very not okay a lot of the time these days but rn I’m actually okayish so I can’t put it into words#but like basically I’ve been have trouble sleeping recently and it’s only gotten worse…to the point where I’ve been waking up every single#night and it’s so hard to get my brain to be sleepy again and go back to sleep#and it’s ruining my life like being exhausted makes life sososo hard I’m miserable and everyone around me is laughing and lighthearted and#I just wallow in my own misery…like when I’m okay I’m okay but when I’m not I question everything#I should really just quit my job and focus on dealing with this chronic insomnia I have now but I’ve been trying different things and#nothing has stuck..part of me probably isn’t trying hard enough but how can I with a full time#job and the need to feed myself and chores and getting my mind of everything and trying to workout more like??#that’s why I need to quit but I am hesistant to move home like I don’t have to but still then I wouldn’t need to pay for rent yknow but I#I also kind of don’t want to move home bc it’s quite nice not to and for covid reasons bc I’m like the only one I know that still cares#about covid lmaooo but like there are definitely pros too like I’m glad I still have the option tbh#but I wish I could just sleep and didn’t have to fight my own brain every single night why can’t I just be normal like I know no one is#normal but also why does everyone else do such a good job hiding it while I just feel like I’m just bringing the mood down by struggling so#much..like also my dept so small rn and I actually do lie my coworkers they really already take a lot of weight comparatively and are#reliable that I feel bad idkkkk why can’t I just sleep like seriously. wtaf is wrong with me#random thoughts don’t mind me#I’m so fucking tired
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moneymartin · 4 months
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nika hcs? anything tbh…… maybe things she’d do in a relationship! :)
gf!nika hcs ✧.*
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warnings: suggestive content and smut at the end under the divider :p
afab!r
a/n: anonie this is so kyoot thank u 🥸 kind of long?? i got carried away 😣
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my beautiful croatian baby where do i even start with you…
this girl is the definition of ALL THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
defff loves having conversations. could talk to you for hours on end and never ever get tired of hearing you talk
long talks = a good relationship w her
you two 100% play basketball together
promises to go easy but goes absolutely batshit crazy on you when shes playing defense
will literally break your legs if she has to just so she can score when shes on offense
when you guys go to the gym you spot her sometimes and her shirt always rides up andddddd and
ok what i’m saying is you love her abs
they’re great.
LOVES being touchy
esp in public… has no shame whatsoever and isn’t ashamed of it
keeps her hands on yours, grabs your arms, or always holds your thigh when she has the chance
also really super possessive and protective over you. if she sees someone staring at you for more than a second she’ll start to make out w you in front of them so they scram
hugs you in front of them too with her head over your shoulder so she can stare them down while you’re incredibly oblivious to what or why shes doing it 😭
she marks you up in easy to see places so ppl know that you’re taken…
also gave you a bracelet or necklace with her initial on it and a heart charm or something like that😇
when you guys cuddle shes 100% big spoon no debate abt it
loves seeing you all tired she thinks its adorbs 😢
plays with your hair while you try to fall asleep or does it while you’re on the phone trying to sleep
but if she’s in a really bad mood she’ll switch and be lil spoon
makes you scratch her back so she can relax before she sleeps
and you gladly do it!!
love love lovess doing the little things for you
if you’re sick she will cook you up something good asfk for breakfast in bed
babies you the whole time too cause she can’t help herself ☹️
when she’s at an away game and you can’t make it she has this little notepad and writes love letters on them for every day she’s gone (iykwim)
i feel like she’d spoil you too !
mention one small thing and she’s already ordering it off of amazon
if you mention an artist she’s buying you tickets to their concert already 🙇‍♂️
new clothes like every week i swear
acts of service is her thang too
will do the dishes or the laundry whenever you need her to
she doesn’t even say no either like she’ll stop whatever she’s doing and will do what you ask
drives you all over the place even if its in a wholeee different state 🥲
when you can’t make dinner she’ll do it for you
i feel like she’s also very open to trying new things
maybe new foods with you or new date ideas when you get bored of the reused ones
i think she’d LOVE roller coasters
thats probably the one place you two would never get bored of
cooks you croatian food 🥹
in summer she takes you there too and you get to go to all the places she went to when she was a kid there 🙁
loves talking abt her home country. she’s so proud of it
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soft dom. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
your pleasure is incredibly important to her
she doesn’t care about what she feels, she cares about what you feel
def uses a strap i can tell… she’d use it most of the time
LOVES overstimming you though its something she can do for hours but will stop when it seems like too much and you’re practically sobbing 😭😭😭
rough unless asked to be soft and gentle
service top is what i mean
10000% cusses in croatian 😩
like she’ll be face deep in between your legs and she’s mumbling curses under her breath and its SOOO HOT
when she tops too her face will be right next to your ear and every time she moves she’s grunting something in croatian
honestly i feel like she’d be a scratcher if you ever switched it up
marks and dots of blood ALLLLLL OVER YOUR BACK
you try to show them off afterwards so she knows how pathetic she ended up becoming 😇
MY GOD
I NEEDDDD HER
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ratlikeclown · 1 month
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WIP Wolverine x femReader 18+
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“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”
He leaned in close to your ear and growled,
“Ya lookin to find out Princess?”
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x Deadpool kinda eventually lmfaoooo
FemY/n is mid 20’s - early 30’s
Tw for depression and like drug use mentions ig
🌶️🫵
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello 👋 This is the first fanfic that I have written in over 10 years the brain rot is so unbelievably real for wolverine and deadpool rn
its a little embarrassing tbh lmfaoo
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I’m not really sure how to tag this tbh. I’ve never posted on tumblr. . It’s a little spicy and will get more interesting later. I just wanted to toss this small part out for readers to test the waters. Anyway um I’m not experienced writing y/n pov so please be nice.
Your friend, Wade Wilson, couldn’t take no for an answer. You knew that and yet you still had the audacity to tell him ‘no’ three times tonight. And about thirty minutes after you ignored his last phone call there he was, practically knocking down your door. It wasn’t like he couldn’t actually kick in your door, he was just being polite. 
The apartment buzzer went off. You sat up from your position on the couch, hoping he’d just give up and leave if you didn’t acknowledge him. Like a stray cat. Or a crackhead.
“Knock knock~” you heard his voice through the door. “I smell Hot Pockets and sadness I know you’re in there”
Gripping the arm of the sofa you waited hoping he’d have the common courtesy fuck off .You heard the door knob rattle. Dumbass.
With a click of the lock, your door swung open revealing Wade, grinning as he shoved his Baby Knife back into his coat.
“Wade, what the fuck? I told you-“
He clapped his hands loudly, interrupting you.
 “Let’s go Funshine Bear, the nights young and I’m not going anywhere without you” Wade marched past you, straight to your bedroom humming to himself.
“You look awful by the way, we’ll fix you up though.” He clicked his tongue and crooked a finger in your direction. You huffed angrily, sliding off the couch to follow him. 
You stopped in the doorway, almost refusing to step inside. He was elbows deep in your closet drawers, throwing clothes onto your bed, muttering his disapproval at every item he tossed.
You crossed your arms as you watched him. 
“Do you have anything that doesn’t look like you took it from the Walmart dumpster?” He pulled a drawer out from the dresser and dumped it on the floor. “You know the one I’m talking about, right? Where all the coke addicted bronies go to have a bone sess before band practice.”
You crossed your arms as you watched him. “Wade, I’m not in the mood to go out.”
You heard him sigh, but continued to riffle through your things. 
“That’s nonsense, the plot can’t continue with out you. Annnd we made these plans last week.”
He peeked at you from behind the open closet door. “I’m a little worried about you. You aren’t your chipper self lately”
“I’m just tired” You replied dismissively.
It wasn’t like Wade hasn’t been trying to cheer you up in his own way. For the last few weeks he’d text you obscure and quite frankly disturbing memes at 3 AM. Excitedly offer you drugs that he’s pilfered from the his blind roommate- (he knows you don’t do drugs, he just wanted to brag about stealing coke from Blind Al)
He’s also been sending you the strangest X-Men fan fiction. (His favorites were ‘old man yaoi’ including Professor Xavier and Magneto) Usually you eat that kind of stuff up, finding it funny that you knew some of the people that the fanfiction was written about, like a private joke between you and Deadpool. But worst thing he’s done has beencalling you almost every day and attempting to make plans with you, but you always seem to cancel last minute. So yeah, he has been trying. It just.. didn’t help.
Your eyes flickered to your wall of photos next to the closet door.  Pictures of your closest friends and family. Their arms around you laughing, smiling. Pictures of trips and silly outings that meant the world to you. You felt so much guilt and regret looking at them.
Depression was a bitch. It was like a rabid dog that wouldn’t let you get back on your feet. You felt it gnawing at you, causing you to lose interest in everyone and everything. You felt alone. Your eyes fell back to Wade, you watched your friend hard at work trying to match your shoes with a dress he had found. He was clueless. You couldn’t tell him any of this though, it would just make him worry more.
There was someone you did want to talk to though. To tell everything to. Someone that you had grown so close to the last few months.
You missed Logan.
This realization caused your face to heat and anxiety weld up in your chest. You balled your hands into fits thinking about that arrogant jerk. You’ve tried to be a friend to Wolverine. After all this wasn’t his reality. He was your timeline’s replacement. (Idk you should go watch the movie. I’m not explaining it.) and for a while, you thought you were friends.
Lately, if he wasn’t drunk and depressingly moody, he was angry and a massive dick. 
“Y/N? Look a little pink at the cheeks are you feeling OK?” Wade was now standing less than a foot from you, his brows furrowed. You hadn’t noticed him move.
Snapping back from your thoughts by Wades voice, you ran hands over your face as you turn towards the attached bathroom.
“Dude, I told you I’m just not feeling good-” You stepped into the bathroom and turned on the faucet “I don’t wanna hang out with-“
“Logan?”
“Your friends.” You finished. You felt your face flush deeper at his name being mentioned.
“That’s what I said” Wade followed you to the bathroom, but thankfully didn’t come in. He stood outside while you closed the door. 
“Trust me honey, I know he’s the embodiment of a sentient happiness starved cactus whose father never loved him but-“
You groaned, trying to avoid Wades ramblings you turned the water on full blast, drowning out the remainder of his sentence. You splashed water on your face and ran a comb through your hair. You heard Wade continue talking, almost to himself while also sounding like he was talking to someone else in the room  as well. Someone you couldn’t see. He did that often. It was creepy.
You swung the door open frowning.
“-sometimes he stabs me through the face to shut me up, but I know he does it because he’s not good with words.”
Wade smile faded when he saw your face. 
“It’s kinda hot”
“I don’t want to talk about it Wade.” You sat down onto your bed with a huff despite the pile of clothes and plastic hangers. You stared at your hands. You felt the overwhelming weight of your anxiety in your chest and stomach. Maybe you should go out. Maybe he won’t show up tonight. Maybe-
“You look like you wanna talk about it Friendo.”
Wade joined you by dramatically pushing all the clothes off the bed, making an even bigger mess of your room. He flopped down onto your bed stomach first, propping himself up by his elbows. He kicked his feet and smiled at you.
“I’m all ears.”
“I don’t know how to start” You admitted.
“Start with an ‘I feel’ statement” 
Another sigh escaped your mouth. How did you feel? It felt complicated. You met him a few months ago. At first he was rude and closed off. Then he slowly began to open up, sure you still bickered and fought like cats, but it had playful undertones. (‘Sexy undertones’ Wade had joked) When he was being genuine and open, it felt like you could talk to him for hours. Though he never spoke for too long, he would to listen to you earnestly. Up until a few weeks ago, that is.
“I feel like Logan hates me. I feel like he would rather huff paint thinner than have a decent conversation with me.”
Wade laughed. “Well that’s not true, I can’t get him to huff anything.”
You shot him a look.
“Listen, I invite Mr. Grumpy out every time. But he’s too busy sulking to get fucked up with us. He would rather get drunk and pass out in the floor of the apartment. He probably won’t even show up.” Wade gave you a reassuring look.
“If he does you’re gonna be there with me. We’ll leave if you feel uncomfortable at all.”
He rolled over and sat up, putting an arm around you.
“I’ve just noticed your mood lately I need you to know that I love you.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze.  “-and I miss getting fucked up with you.”
“Will you stab him for me if he’s mean?”
“Of course. I always have Baby Knife on me.”
“Fine. Let me get ready”
He jumped off the bed excitedly.
You pushed Wade out the door to get dressed, pausing in the doorway. “Wade?”
“Yes Friendo?” He turned on his heel
“I love you too bud”
He squealed as you closed the door.
~~~
You never understood why Wade wouldn’t just buy a car. He makes decent money (he doesn’t) and could probably afford a nice one. (He couldn’t) At one point you recall him having a weird hyperfixation with the Honda Odyssey (he fucked Wolverine in one) (allegedly)
Instead, you were climbing into the back of a dirty beat up taxi cab that his friend, Dopinder, drove for a living. At least you didn’t have to walk. Dopinder was a sweet guy, if not a little unhinged every once in a while. 
“You look quite beautiful tonight Miss Y/N” He complimented you as you settled in the back seat. You smiled at him, appreciating the comment. Wade had picked out your dress and you felt a little exposed and out of your element in it. It wasn’t anything crazy, just a slick black dress with a low neck line. The dress was short, ending a little above the knee. The problem was the slit up the side. You wanted to wear tights under the outfit but Wade insisted on fishnets. ‘You look like a goth baddie’  he had assured you, ‘Like a Hot Topic clearance rack version of Morticia Addams.’
Wade hopped in the front and immediately started to flip through the radio channels. Dopinder usually had on pleasant sounding Indian pop music but Wade settled on some heavily censored 90’s hip hop. 
The drive was rocky. Wade, who almost never kept his hands to himself, would grab poor  Dopinder while dancing along to the music causing the cab to swerve. A lot.
Having made it to the bar in one piece, you quickly scrambled out of the back, thanking the young man for the ride. 
Wade waited for you at the door.
~~~
The bar was loud and dark. One of those typical bars you see in movies, filled with moving bodies and cigarette smoke. Music pumped through the speakers with some people lingering near the bar while others swayed on the dance floor. Wade bounced through the crowd pulling you along towards the bar, where his group of friends took up half the bar area. You scanned the crowd nervously. No Logan. Your muscles relaxed, and you moved with a little more energy.
Wade greeted his friends with various enthusiastic greetings and crude gestures. You smiled in greeting and waved at a friend you recognized but sat down on a stool next to where Wade stood, him blocking you from most of the other bar patrons. There was a part of you that was a little disappointed that Logan wasn’t here. It made sense if he didn’t show up here, this bar was honestly more like a club, upbeat and energetic. He’s used to dark depressing dive bars, places you can drink yourself into a coma and not be bothered. But the few times he had shown up here you had thought that he enjoyed your company, for a little while at least. During times when the others were off doing dubious shit somewhere, he’d sit with you at the bar. You even managed to get him to dance with you once. That all changed recently. Something happened that caused him to be distant and often rude for seemingly no reason.
Everyone seems to be so happy to see Wade and he, them. You didn’t really know why you were here. It already felt overwhelming. You used to love coming here. Drinking and dancing, playing pool badly and belting out shitty country music karaoke with everyone. Lately, things have felt different. You’ve lost interest in a lot of the things you use to enjoy, spending your days just working and rotting in your apartment. This was too much.
Wade touched your shoulder causing you to jump.
“Hey we’re off to play some darts you in?” 
You smiled at your friend. “You really wouldn’t want me to play, you’d end up as the dart board.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time Sweetheart” Wade laughed, “we’ll be over there if you change your mind.” He made a heart with his hands and turned toward the group already making their way to the play area.
You sat quietly at the counter with a glass of something sweet and strong. You wanted to feel a buzz but you needed it to taste good. Your eyes scanned the crowd, people watching. You watched people dance and sway to the newest Kesha song blaring through the speakers. You witnessed a near fight over a pool game. You heard Wade’s laughter from across the room, his friends echoing along. You felt alone. It was your fault you told yourself. If you wanted to feel better you would’ve gotten up and joined your friends. But here you sat, being miserable on purpose. 
“Hey beautiful, mind if I joined you?” Your head snapped up meeting the face of someone you didn’t recognize. He was good looking, in a vanilla frat boy kinda way. With his backwards hat, sleeveless tank, skinny jeans and all.
But he smiled like a wolf.
“I’m sorry.” You tried to smile politely, but you had a twinge of anxiety growing in your chest. “I’m not really in the mood for company” 
The man smiled motioning to the bartender for a drink. “Can’t I just buy you a drink? “
“Really, I’m fine” You turned back to your drink, your eyes unfocused, hoping that if you just ignored him he’d leave. Your gut flipped when you heard him pull out the stool next to you. He wasn’t leaving.
“Come on babe, I can show you a good time”
“She said she ain’t looking for company bub.” A low voice growled behind you. A beer bottle came down heavily in between you and the creep. Your eyes trailed the hairy but beautifully sculpted arm to its owner, though you already knew who it belonged to. Logan. Even in this lighting you could see his rugged face. His hair was styled in its iconic cat ear shape. His beard was trimmed nicely combined with his thick muttonchops. His eyes were a little hazy but beautiful and dark. You met those eyes for a brief moment, he smirked at you before his gaze flickered to the other man.
 “Well?” He rumbled, barring his teeth.
“Naw, I was here first grandpa, you fuck off.” The frat guy stood up straight, trying to look intimidating.
“Trust me” Logan chuckled. He straightened cracking his knuckles before raising his fists and extending three razor sharp Adamantium claws from each hand.
“You don’t want none of this”
~~~
“You didn’t have to do that” you looked down at your glass avoiding Logan’s gaze. You heard him land heavily in the bar stool next to you. He tapped the counter signaling the bartender who was very clearly avoiding your side of the bar.
“I wasn’t going to have some limp dick creeping on you.”
“I was handling it” 
“You didn’t seem like you were handling anything Princess.” He scoffed.
You shot him a look. He smirked as he chugged his remaining beer, you couldn’t help watch his throat bob as he drank. He finished and loudly set the bottle down. He met your eyes and you looked away feeling your face heat violently.
“You thirsty princess?” He asked as the bartender set down two shots of something before scurrying away. He slid one glass your way.
“No thank you. I have my own drink”
You pushed the glass back his way. He eyed your almost empty cocktail and shrugged.
“Suit yourself” he took the glasses and knocked back both shots simultaneously slamming the glasses back down. After a few moments of silence, where you clearly felt Logan eyeing you the entire time, you sighed.
“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight Logan.” You admitted. Another beer had appeared in front of him, he took a swig. He eyed you, his eyes slowly trailing from your face down your body. They rested at the slit in your dress, exposing most of your fishnet covered thigh. You felt a ping in your lower belly, causing you to cross your legs uncomfortably. His eyes followed to movement. He licked his lips and met your eyes again smirking.
“Why didja miss me?”
You looked down at the growing piles of shredded napkins you had been anxiously ripping apart. 
“Yes” you said at last. There was no point in lying. You did miss him. Even seeing him now, clearly drinking away his problems, you couldn’t help but feel glad he was there with you. You were glad he scared away that creep, despite his now passive aggressive demeanor. You met his eyes again.
He snorted and tipped the beer to his lips.“You’re a fucking liar”
You felt your gut squeeze with anger. Why was he treating you this way? You didn’t ask him to step in to a play hero. You didn’t ask him for anything. You just wanted to get out of your shitty apartment for one goddamn night. You balled your fists and spun to face him fully.
“What. The. Fuck.” You clenched your teeth annunciating each word bitterly. “Is. YOUR PROBLEM”
“My PROBLEM,” he practically spat the word,
”is that I have to deal with your moody ass attracting the eye of every fucking creep in this place when you very fucking clearly don’t want to be here.” 
You threw your hands up angrily and gestured around the bar. 
“I didn’t want to deal with any of this Logan. I just wanted to go out with my FRIENDS, which I used to think you were one. I don’t fucking know what prick you had up your ass lately, but you sure as hell don’t act like you like me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”
He was silent for a moment, studying your face, making it turn even redder. Then he laughed. He shook his head laughing and sloppily chugged his second beer.
You had enough. You needed to get away from him. You shoved yourself back, tipping the stool over in the process.
“Come find me when you figure out what you want.” You turned to leave. You made it a few steps before you heard Logan’s voice call mockingly.
“Nice dress by the way” 
You didn’t turn to look at him.
“Fuck you, Logan”
~~~
You ran your hands under cold water, leaning over the sink you splashed the water into your face and sighed. You looked into your mirrored face. This was a disaster.
Maybe if you just stayed in the bathroom you can avoid everyone until Wade was ready to leave. You felt bad that you ran off instead of finding him. You would’ve felt safe with Wade.
Your head was swimming, from the alcohol or the interaction with Logan you couldn’t tell.
The speaker above you crackled playing the opening notes to ‘Dirty Diana’, a favorite of yours. A banger Wade would say.
Without warning the door sung open and Logan stumbled in. 
“You’re in the wrong bathroom you drunk asshole” you snapped. His eyes met yours from a brief moment before he swayed slightly and took a step forward.
He pushed past you wordlessly and began kicking open the bathroom stalls. They were all empty. 
“Dude get out” You gripped the sink behind you, watching Logan warily. You knew deep down he wouldn’t hurt you but you obviously didn’t want him in here with you. He turned to you, taking a step forward.
”I needed to talk to you”
“Yeah, you could have waited til I got out of the ladies room??” 
“No.” he growled before in one swift movement he was in front of you, his arms on either side of the sink trapping you between them. Your breath came out in a shudder and your knees wobbled. This honestly was a thing out of a fantasy, something that you were embarrassed to admit you’ve thought about. You had been fighting your feelings for this big stupid man, stuck between thoughts of friendship and lust. God, he wasn’t helping with the latter.
“Logan”
“I’m sorry” he said looking as remorseful as he could under the circumstances.
“What did you need to talk about that couldn’t wait Lo?” You swallowed, gently lifting your hand and placing it on his chest, pushing lightly. His hands moved to your legs keeping you from pushing him further.
“Ya told me to find you when I figured out what I wanted”
“Yeah” You scoffed. “Enlighten me”
~~~
“I want you”
Logan leaned over you, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His fingers dug in lightly, the movement making your legs feel like jelly. You gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. He was so firm and warm under your hands.
His face was inches from yours, his expression unreadable in the low lighting. You smelled the smoke and alcohol on his breath.
“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”
He leaned in close to your ear and growled, 
“Ya looking to find out princess?”
You felt a ping of desire sink into your lower belly as his hand moved from your waist.
Shivers went down your spine as his hands slid up your torso coming to a stop right below your breasts. One of his thumbs brushed upwards lightly, teasingly.
You sucked in a breath as he lowered his face to your neck and brushed a kiss to the sensitive skin. His facial hair tickling your jaw.
“Logan, you’re drunk.” You croaked out, pulling away slightly, your hands sliding from his shoulders. He moved with you.
You felt his lips brush your skin again, another kiss, before his thumb slid upward against your breast. Fuck. The wet heat between your legs was unbearable. You needed some sort of friction. You definitely noticed the pressure from his pants pressed against your stomach. So close, you just needed anything. You bucked your hips against his, almost involuntarily, causing a rumble to escape his throat. His thumb stroked again.
“That’s a good girl” His head bobbed lower dragging his tongue down as he kissed your neck. You could feel him smile as he sucked the skin of your collar bone in a way that would definitely leave a mark. Holy Hell. What was happening.
You were sick of your neck getting all the attention as you reached up to take his face in your hand. He practically melted at your touch, his breath hitching as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. You wanted him, needed his mouth on yours. You pulled his face up, a little roughly, to meet your gaze. You thought you heard him let out a little surprised chuckle from the movement. His eyes were half lidded as he met yours. He was drunk, and you realized, so were you. You leaned in, your lips feather light against his-
You jumped at Wade’s voice from the other side of the door, calling for you.
Shit. You dropped your hand away from his face.
Logan growled, low and angry. He abruptly took his hot hands from your body and leaned his head to your ear, you felt his lips against your skin.
“Some other time then, darlin’.” He pulled away from you swaying slightly, before grabbing his beer from the counter and yanking open the bathroom door.
~~~
Anyway, thanks for reading. I guess I don’t know if this is any good and I will be posting the rest on Ao3 eventually
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jinkiezzsstuff · 6 months
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I absolutely loved the Emily and Charlie ideas you wrote so I was hoping to request another Charlie x male reader with some smut (but not the main focus). Idea being everyone going out for an evening with Charlie staying at the hotel to work, secretly wanting some company but telling everyone to have fun anyway. Reader didn't go out and found her later in the evening (maybe can tell how she's feeling) so offers some company/someone to cuddle. The main smut I'd like to include would be her leaving some scratch or kiss marks and her being quite touchy/hands on.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the others teehee i tried my best with this so i hope you enjoy it but im not too happy with how it turned out tbh, idk why, i guess it could be because i didn’t feel like during the smut scenes i did charlie justice, lmk what you think.
Charlie x male!reader
After Party
warnings: creampie, biting, scratching, kinda rushed smut, angsty charlie, possibly ooc charlie but i can’t tell, charlie n vaggie are friends, im not sure if there’s anything else, oh swearing, NOT PROOFREAD beware of errors.
word count: 2K
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Charlie was tired. Between her father disbelieving in her, Alastor picking a fight with him, the failed meeting with Adam, and finding out Vaggie was an angel? She was over and exhausted. She tried to keep up her mood but she just couldn’t stop the spiralling thought process of handling everything on her own. It seemed like every step forward she had to take four steps back, nobody believed or respected her.
“Cmon, we needa little par-tay.” Angel whined pushing himself over the back of the couch dramatically. Charlie hummed, barely listening as the crowd of sinners lingered in the little living room-like area. “We don’t need anymore fuckin parties, spider.” Husk muttered before taking a big swig of his drink. “I don’t know, I think a little bit of recreational activity could really brighten the spirits!” Alastor exclaimed, and as much as Charlie would like to join the fun, if she didn’t finish up the work she had she knew it would only stress her out further, but she knew the others worked hard too and deserved a little treat.
Reaching into her pocket she pulled out some cash and beckoned over Alastor. “Here, why don’t you take everyone out to relax?” She said softly, despite her desire for company and hope that one of the few would stay back to assist. “Aren’tcha comin’ toots?” Angel who jumped up the moment Charlie pulled out money asked, putting one of his hands on her shoulder. “Oh no, i’ve got sooo much to do here, you guys go on without me! Bond a little!” She smiled as brightly as she could, although anyone with a keen eye could tell it was forced. In the back of her mind she was hoping for more punch back, more of her friends to beg her to come out with them, but instead they shrugged her off and left rather quickly.
Sighing Charlie rung her hands together and walked up the stairs slowly, vacant and alone, the hotel now seemed so eerie. She made her way to an office one that had been used by the whole team she had, so herself, Vaggie and Alastor. She plopped herself lazily on the ripped leather office chair, air slowly escaping the cheap foam as she did. Charlie couldn’t help the bitter feelings stirring around in her; she was always happy to help her friends and wanted them to have fun and relax, she just wished maybe they cared a little more about her? It was a confusing sensation, she knew Vaggie cared, but at times she felt more like a personal body guard rather than friend, and Alastor, she knew deep down, didn’t actually care.
Opening her phone she decided to try and ease her mind before sorting out the paperwork she had piling, unfortunately the universe wasn’t kind to her. Opening Sinstagram the first sight she was greeted with was Angels varying posts and stories which included all the crew members piled into a booth enjoying their drink of choice. It made a scorned yucky feeling of jealousy tangle within her stomach. Groaning she pulled open a drawer and stuck her phone in it, slamming it shut after. “It’s better to just work.” The princess mumble pulling the first stack of papers near her; the billing’s for their failed comercial.
After an hour of word Charlie sat back in her seat and messaged her sore neck. Pulling her phone from the drawer she checked the time. 23:48. Having no idea when the others would get back, she shuffled from the office to the second story balcony for some air. “Oh sorry I didn’t know you were here!” Charlie exclaimed, seeing you leant over the balcony railing. Looking over your shoulder you gave the little devil a warm smile. “You can join.” You say beckoning her forward, with a sigh and a forced smile Charlie came up alongside you, mimicking your stance. “What’re you still doing here?” Charlie questioned eyeing you from her peripheral. Your brow quirked and your face turned to confusion, with a quick hum you replied. “Just relaxing..?” The statement came out uncertain and wobbly, but you weren’t quite sure what she meant.
“No, i mean why didn’t you go out with the others?” Your head tilted back as you let out an ‘ah’, now understanding what she meant. “I just, well, this is the only time i get free yknow, always gotta be doing something so it’s nice to be alone, but i also want to have fun with them, but that drains me yknow?” Charlie quickly nodded her head at that completely understanding where you were coming from. “Yeah i know what you mean. I wish somebody stayed back with me.” Nudging yourself lightly into her, she met your eyes with curiosity floating in her own. “Well I stayed back, why don’t we relax together?” You suggest warmly, smiling fondly down at her. Charlie momentarily stuttered, blushing at the way her mind wandered to naughty places.
“Ahem, uh, sure! Yes! Let’s do that!” The princess fumbled, pushing herself away from your hold. You could tell she was flustered as she walked off leading you to whatever part of the hotel she’d choose to relax in, you felt a little voice in the back of your head egging you on to tease her, and who were you to deny your great mind. “Alrighty this it my room! Uhhh, why don’t we watch a movie or something..?” Charlie trailed off leading you into her bedroom.
You took a quick look around enjoying the aesthetic her room held. Charlie kicked her shoes off and pulled her jacket from her shoulders. “You can lounge on the bed if you want, i totally don’t mind!” You grinned and got onto the bed, watching as she frantically ran around “Calm down hun, you look real stressed.” You urged her frantic pacing causing loose hairs to tangle and fly out from her ponytail. “Ugh, i know!” Sighing she finally plopped on the bed beside you and laid back hands folded on her stomach and eyes closed. Leaning over slightly to look down on her, you observed her somewhat relaxed face as you watched her slow her breathing down. Assumably trying to cease the slow crawling panic that was clawing at her. “It may be a little forward but I heard compression and hugs can help stress, you wanna cuddle or some shit?” Your voice came out slightly tight a little unsure of how to go about the request. Charlie’s eyes fluttered opened and blinked toward you, after a moment of silent contemplation Charlie sighed happily opening her arms. With a huff and a smile you scooted down, wrapping your arms around her while laying beside her.
She scooted up into your side, her right hand sliding up your chest and around your shoulder. It sent shivers down your spine, and blood straight to your dick, embarrassingly so. Ignoring the sensation, your hand gently traced shapes into Charlie’s side where your arm was placed. Charlie’s head slowly lifted and shifted from the bed to your chest, tucking herself under your chin. Her hair tickled at your nose and chin, you could smell her shampoo and the perfume she’d used. You tightened your grip subtly, enjoying the warmth she let off, and with a hum she swung one of her legs over your hips, twisting her body entirely against you.
You took a deep breath attempting to calm your heart and the tightening sensation in your pants. Like the devil spawn she is, Charlie began tracing your chest, flattening her palm against your chest and trailing down from your neck, to the hem of your jeans, and back up to your neck again. Taking a deep breath you brought your hand up to you with her hair in attempts to distract you.
“Thanks for this.” She mumbled nuzzling her face further into your chest. You hummed eyes lazily dancing around shapes your eyes made up on the canopy above. “Any time.” You replied after a moment. The two of you laid there silently, softly the two of you let your hands drift across eachother innocently. It wasn’t until charlie’s hand ducted under your shirt to touch your bare chest that the air in the room got thick and heated. Breath hitching you zeroed in on her claws softly scratching down your chest. “Charlie,” You warned as her claw nicked the waistband of your jeans. Charlie knew good and well what she was doing, could you blame her? You’ve always been so attentive to her feelings and emotional state, the first to check on her after a stressful situation and give her the best advice you could.
With sudden need shooting through Charlie she straddled your waist bracing herself against your chest. Your hands reflexively went to her hips, eyes shooting up to meet her own attempting to figure out what the hell she was doing. She traced her claws down your tshirt covered chest, and when she made it to the bottom her hands wiggled underneath the fabric to paw at your warm skin. As she did you traced circles on her hips, and quirked a questioning brow at her. “Whatcha up to princess?” Charlie smiled shyly, trying to hide her face in her shoulder. “I just want to repay you for your kindness towards me.”
Your face twisted with worry, abruptly you sat up, making her gasp and tucked your hands behind her back to keep her from falling. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me,” You quickly say, however Charlie pushed you back down, shushing you as she did. “It’s more then just that, i think you know they though. Let’s relax, desttress.” With that being said, you tossed aside your tshirt while Charlie eagerly undid your pants, hands shaking as she did. Your hands decided not to diddly saddle and undo her pants simultaneously, needing to feel her speedily.
You were already achingly hard, precum dripping down your shaft as Charlie shakily gripped you giving your head a soft squeeze. Pulling her hand away Charlie kicked off the pants that clung underneath her knees, and readied herself against you. You hummed out in pleasure relaxing into the mattress as she sunk down onto you, above you Charlie whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut, clenching onto every vein and ridge. It was delectable, she couldn’t understand why she’d never gone for this before. Bottoming out, Charlie’s legs shook, her body would involuntarily convulse every now and again as she attempted to adjust to the size of you. Falling forward unable to keep herself up she sunk her nails into your chest making you groan deeply, bucking your hips up into hers.
Nuzzling herself into your neck as you took the reigns, thrusting up into her at a steady pace, she began to leave teeth marks and hickies along your neck, desperate moans broken out between nips and bites. Your arms encased her pulling her near as you roughly fucked up into her at a brutal pace, her juices dripping down you. Erotic, loud slapping noises were all that you could hear in the room accompanied by Charlie’s whimpers and please. “Fuckkk, yknow how long i’ve waited for this? They don’t know what their missing not staying around someone like you.” You say splaying your fingers through her hair as you do, at this point Charlie’s body laid limp atop your own, your knees up and angled to continue your rapid pace.
“Please,” Charlie begged clenching tightly around you, you huffed out a moan that you attempted to cover and slid your hands down to squeeze her ass. Groaning loudly, you pushed her over, still inside you hovered over her, pulling her legs up over your shoulders to gain new access. With this angle you were able to hit different areas making Charlie squeal. “Oh fuck Charlie,” You groaned as your balls slapped against her ass, finally you felt the band snapping and slowly you filled her with cum, pumping all of what you had inside her. Charlie cried out clenching, and convulsing against you. She tried to inch away screaming your name loudly as she road out her high against you. When the two of you had finished, catching your breaths, you laid beside her, pulling her into your chest.
She rolled her head from one side to face you, her eyes glazed over barely seeming like she was there. “Didja mean what you said about wanting this for so long?” You nodded at her, the softness in her voice was music to your ears and made goosebumps crawl against your skin. “Yeah, since i got here, you’ve had my eye.” Humming softly the princess said nothing, but buried her head in your chest.
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simp999 · 7 months
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Hello! I’m so happy to see that your requests are open~
If it’s okay to ask, I’m currently experiencing serious overworking at one of my two jobs, and tbh TF2 x reader content has been my comfort through it.
Could you have either medic or scout (completely up to you) just being there for an overworked y/n that comes back from their job frustrated and tired?
Asking anonymously cuz I’m nervous lol
Medic x Overworked! Reader
A/N: Hello! Sorry for taking so long my dear, I haven't really been doing requests lately! I hope your jobs are going well, and you aren't still too overworked! I was very much in the mood to write some medic, and your request felt perfect- sorry if it's too short! ^^
Wc: 850
Masterlist
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You sigh as you shut the door, tempted to sit down and fall asleep right then and there. You manage to drop your bags and completely forget about the kitchen entirely, going straight to your room. Most of the mercs were sitting in their game room playing poker or some card game. For once, Medic was there too. Usually, he's caught up with work or some surgeries, but he wanted to make sure he was there when you came back, expecting some kind of acknowledgment from his beloved.
He wasn't sad that you didn't even seem to notice him- no, he was sad at how exhausted you seemed, and it only became worse by the day. Your shoulders were stiff, back slumped, and those eyebags surely weren't any good. He swiftly made his way over to his lab, grabbing anything he needed and shed his gloves and lab coat, leaving him in his vest.
A soft knock on your door rang out, but there was no response. He carefuly opened it only to find you almost completely out, half stirring as the light from the hallway hit your eyes. He pushed a few things on your side table out of the way so he could place his things down. His brows knit even further together seeing how much of a mess your room was. This couldn't be good for your health. You were about to sit it, finally recognizing the person in front of you. Before you could, he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb and then checked your temperature on your forehead. While gently caressing your skin, he subtly checked your pulse too, then traced his thumb over your lips, checking your breathing. All your vitals were fine, maybe your heart was a bit fast- but you two have come to realize it's just because your heart always raced a bit in his presence.
The first time it happened and he noticed was during a routine checkup- it was cute, really. Right around the time you got together, he planted an absentminded kiss on your forehead right before checking your pulse, and you had to wait a few minutes before even bothering to try again. It didn't calm down all that much because your heart sped up every time you even thought about that kiss, but he managed to get a reading anyway.
Back to the situation at hand. He gently picked up your hand in his large one and began to ask you some questions. How much sleep you've been getting, how much and often you've been eating and drinking water. You knew not to lie as he'd see right through you, and you didn't want to make him unhappy. All of your answers were... not healthy ones, to say the least.
"Do you think you'd be able to eat a bit right now, or is food too tough?"
"My legs are too tired to-"
"Not what I asked, Liebe."
Ah.. was he gonna go get you something? What a sweetheart. You smiled and nodded, and he asked if he could leave just for a moment.
He found you once again resting with your eyes closed. This time you weren't almost knocked out, just waiting patiently for him. He brought you some fruit cut into cute little shapes- stars, hearts,- he really is adorable. He placed the plate on your lap before eyeing you up and down- you were still in your work outfit. While you ate, he walked over to where you kept your clothes. You gave him a questionning look before he pull out your most comfortable pijamas; some he gave you a while back.
Once you were done eating, leaving a few pieces, he helped you onto the ledge of the bed. He helped you take off your clothes with such gentleness, buttoning up your pijama top and letting you pull your cozy pants on. All of this was done purely out of affection and kindness and you felt nothing but safe and comfortable with him- nothing sexual whatsoever. He offered you a "warm" smile as he adjusted the collar of your top. (He's not that good at smiling but you've learned to love that small quirk. You knew what his intent was.)
He helped tuck you in and grabbed another leftover piece of fruit to bring to your lips after he did. Back to caressing your skin and gently tracing shapes all over your arms, collarbone, upper chest- it didn't take much to get you all sleepy, so it was definetly doing its job.
"Ich liebe dich, mein lieblingsengel."
You groggily answered him, just below a whisper;
"Ich liebe... dich auch..."
He melted at the sight before him. He adjusted your hair, pushing a few strands away from your forehead.
He never liked that you had a job on top of being a mercenary- being a merc was tough enough on the body and mental health as is. But that's why he's there.
To be your doctor,- to be the one to take care of you.
.
.
.
Mar.4.24
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AITA for not saying goodbye to my husband’s friends from childhood?
I (24F) am a white American, my husband (25M) is a black immigrant from a country in the Caribbean. Where we live, there aren’t many people from his country and he has few opportunities to speak his native language. But a family friend from his childhood came here recently and he invited the friend over for dinner. The friend and his wife said they’d come over a few days in advance and I was excited and made plans for dinner, but the day of, they canceled. I was a little annoyed because I already had all the food and everything but I was like “ok whatever.”
Well the following Saturday, I was stressed about work and stuff and in a bad mood, and was looking forward to catching up on a show I liked. When I finally sat down to watch, my husband said his friends who canceled the week before were going to be here in an hour and asked me to clean up. I was annoyed bc they canceled when I was planning on them and rescheduled last min when I wasn’t planning on hosting or spending the evening with anyone, but I helped clean up and prepare. They got here, and I tried to be a good host, but I admit while I wasn’t rude, my attitude wasn’t super warm and friendly. They didn’t want dinner so we offered juice and stuff. I tried to be present in the conversations but 1) I’m very shy and 2) they were talking about 60-40 their native language to English, so I didn’t know what was going on more than half the time. (I do love that language and am trying to learn on DuoLingo but it’s hard. I’m also glad he has people to talk it with, it just leaves me unable to participate much). Also, tbh most of the conversation was suggestive jokes and joking about each other’s sex lives and as an ace person I don’t really feel comfortable with that kind of conversation particularly with people I don’t know very well. So I kinda just zoned out, and I kind of have an RBF so I guess I looked not happy to be there. Anyway, we watched a James Bond movie I wasn’t interested in so I was on my phone a lot, then I went upstairs to get ready for bed because it was almost midnight and I was tired.
After I was ready for bed, I wanted to say goodnight to the friends, however one of them had to record a video for an online class and send it in before the deadline in like an hour. So he got on the computer and went into the stairwell and his wife got on her phone and went to the kitchen so they could record the conversation and submit it. Which meant I was stuck upstairs (unless I wanted to pass the guy in the stairwell and show up on his video) and I’d have to wait for them to finish recording the call before I could go to bed. Well, I was tired so I just lay in bed and ended up falling asleep. Around the 12:45, my husband woke me up by coming into the room and turning on the light to give the friends a tour of the house and I grumpily growled “I’m asleep! Turn off the light!”
The next morning, my husband was livid at me. He said the way I treated them was horrible and rude, I wasn’t paying attention during the movie, I didn’t even say goodbye (which greetings and goodbyes are a big deal in his culture), I growled at them when they came into the room for the tour, I was “acting like a bitch” to them the whole night, and he felt like he invited them to his house only for me to act racist and like I’m better than them. I feel terrible that my actions could be perceived that way when in reality I was just tired, shy, a little grouchy because these plans were sprung on me last minute, and out of the loop (because I didn’t understand a majority of the conversation). But I think the whole cancelation and then last minute rescheduling and expecting me to be a good, present host late into the night wasn’t cool. If it had been last week, I would’ve been prepared with dinner and also mentally, since I’d be planning on hosting people. Also would’ve been nice to be made aware beforehand that we would be entertaining guests until 1 AM, so I could be planning on it.
So AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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Rory Keaner dom and sub headcannons
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-a/n- hey hey long time no see. i’m back for now but i probably still won’t be writing as much. my friend begged me for this though so i guess all do it
warnings- nsfw, dom and sub rory, normal smut/suggestive stuff
here’s my opinion on dom and sub rory! ALL FAKE AND A PART OF MY IMAGINATION!!
made for @memog1rl
——————
SUB RORY
-sweet
-WHINY OMFG IM TELLING YOU
-honestly, rory is probably a lot more freaky than you’d think.
-some of his kinks:
-mommy OR daddy kink (depending on his partner)
-he likes having his partner handcuff him idk why
-BLINDFOLDS!!
-soft sex because it’s rory. when he’s a sub, he’s all needy and whiny(bratty) and just needs your affection or anything to satisfy his
-PRAISE KINK!!
-DEGRADING KINK!!
-others
-be nice to him, be respectful. even if he likes being degraded, just don’t be extremely mean about it
-he’s a really emotional person and you can tell
-depending on his mood, he can be very BRATTY or OBEYING. just depends on how freaky he’s feeling lmfao
-if he’s bratty, ur in for a ride!!
-if he’s very obeying, make sure you let him know he’s being your good boy
-pet names like baby, babyboy, cutie, sweetie, etc. gets him going!!
-call him a good boy!!! (unless he’s being bad, just don’t be too mean)
—————
DOM RORY
-well shit… have fun!!
-just because he’s on the smaller side doesn’t mean he can’t manhandle you
-he’s still really soft and caring but yk.. yeahhh
-HE IS SO POSSESSIVE OMFGGGGG
-when he’s a dom, it’s usually rough sex unless he’s tired and he just wants to make you feel good, he doesn’t care abt his release
-some kinks:
-BITING!! yk, since he’s a vampire, ofc he has a biting kink duhhh
-not really a blood kink but it is cuz he’s a vamp, but when he kind of sinks his fangs, he’ll always suck the blood duh. but not too much, like barely because he really really doesn’t want to hurt you. if you don’t wanna be bit, he’ll NEVER EVER force you AT ALL
-HICKEYS OMFGGGGG. he loves it so so so much. when you guys are done, you’re definitely COVERED. if you don’t want them noticeable, they’ll be where usually only he can see them. or on your thighs and stomach, maybe even your back. but always expect to have hickeys no matter what
-SHOWER SEX!! he’s a lot stronger than you’d think. so he’s able to hold you so you don’t fall. but you’ll always be left sore no matter what
-others:
-bite marks everywhere. kind of like hickeys but bite marks. sometimes he’ll use fangs but he also no fangs
-when you’re wearing a dress, he’ll make you sit on his lap
-or he’ll 100% always have his arms around you. hands on your thighs, hips, arms, yeah
-he’s a really good brat tamer tbh… so make decisions wisely!!
-he loves when you’re so obeying. like you’re his and he’s glad you’re so sweet and listen to everything he says
-he calls you his good girl (or boy)
-if you’re comfortable with it, he loves calling you his slut. like it’s just natural instinct tbhhhh
—————-
anddd done!! i hope you all enjoyed it and thanks for reading❤️❤️
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charmercharm3r · 1 year
Note
thinking about fluffy seungmin watching halloween movies with his partner
like the past week he had been working super hard with filming and rehearsing and such and he’s just so tired and wants to spend time with his lover and what’s better than watching halloween movies and relaxing??
i’m in a super fluffy mood recently
-🌙 <3
aww seungmin would be the best movie buddy tbh. like if ur the kind where u like to think aloud as u watch, he’d add onto the commentary. but if u like silence, he’s gratefully sit there holding ur hand feeding u snacks cus u can’t be bothered to do it urself. HALLOWEEN THEMED PAJAMAS. LIGHT UP JACKOLANTERS FOR MOOD SETTING. PUMPKIN SCENTED CANDLES AND THOSE HALLOWEEN COOKIES BAKING IN THE OVEN. seungmin is so fall coded.
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vacantgodling · 2 months
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thank you @sergeantnarwhalwrites for tagging me to do this i looooove talking about myself PFF. i’ll leave this as an open tag for anyone else who wants to do it! tag me if u do i wanna hear ur responses 👀
about me
When did you first start writing?
i’ve been writing pretty much my entire life—making stories since i was like 3 with my grandmother and then transitioned to writing them down pretty soon after. i can’t think of a time in my life where i wasn’t story crafting tbh. but i think if you want a “traditional” start time, wherein i started writing anything that could resemble a Proper wip, then that was when i was 12 in 8th grade lol.
Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?
nah, they pretty much go hand in hand. i love reading gothic lit nowadays and a lot of my recent wips have sort of dove in that direction. in general, you can tell what was really intriguing me or what i was reading based on the wips i made at the time. vdtrt was super inspired when i was in my percy jackson era, purple haze (started) when i was into more comic/slapstick kid humor (like captain underpants or diary of a wimpy kid or that one journal book with the girl with the purple pen… i can’t remember what it’s called tho), but then transitioned into what it is now when i started getting more into romantic dramas. etc etc.
Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?
not one that i’m often compared to, but the great gatsby did a number on me beginning to take prose and description seriously. that book is gorgeous to me (prose wise) and i really think between that and the goth/1700-1900s books that i’ve read really influenced me to put more emphasis on prose than on dialogue, tbh. i used to be a more snazzy, ya style writer—and while there’s nothing wrong with that per se it never sparked as much joy as me nailing an overly complex description does nowadays.
in terms of comparing myself or wanting to emulate someone specifically i don’t really. i think my friends are all amazing writers but i’m pretty self centered when it comes to my writing (both positive and negative connotations besides) so i tend to try and focus being the best version of myself and what i’m trying to write. this isn’t to say i don’t get jealous of how some of my friends write occasionally lol. i just don’t particularly want to be like them when the inner demons aren’t being shit, if that makes sense.
Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)
tbh, a lot of times i write at work. i tend to finish my tasks early and no one tends to bother me so i kind of write to keep myself from falling asleep. i need silence and no distractions to write lol so its easier for me when im there. so its at my work desk and on my work laptop a lot of the time LMAO. when it’s not there i tend to write on my phone when im out and about or on the bus or whatever—same principles of wanting to be by myself and have no one bug me so i can think lol.
What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?
ngl, and this is gonna sound kinda bad, i kinda force myself to. lmao. like when i write at work esp i kinda just decide “what am i gonna work on today” and i sort of do it. it doesn’t always work mind you, like if i’m not in the mood or im tired or distracted or whatever then i’ll just end up doing something else.
when it comes to making new ideas i don’t force those, they just kinda come. i’m always thinking about stories and ideas tbh so it’s a matter of if i get obsessed with an idea enough to make it into an actual thing.
Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?
nah with 2 caveats. purple haze specifically is a more fictional retelling (split between 2 mcs) of when i was 18-20 years old. lots of details changed but some of the main bits are shit that happened to me then that really fucked me up at the time that i wanted someplace to work through. as i’ve gotten older and healed from things, or taken to poetry to talk about stuff, emphasis on that wip has taken less precedent bc it doesn’t hurt me as much as it used to. secondly, the town braebrooke, where jenna lives in jenna the reaper is actually named after a street name that drivers always get lost going down near where i grew up. but i don’t tend to like to live in reality and real life. it sucks and it’s boring. stories have always been an escape for me so i don’t like to base things on real life if i can avoid it.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?
honestly i would say yes, i have recurring themes in my writing but no they don't really surprise me. i tend to write about things that are important to me and because i'm quite introspective i'm acutely aware of the things that i tend to gravitate towards. fucked up/complicated family dynamics where people care about each other (toxically in many ways) but express it horribly, queerness (as a whole, especially when it comes to the masculine), focus on the individual instead of the whole (in most cases) etc... it's all things i think about quite often. stories are just the vehicles to explore it.
my characters
Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?
because i have so many wips it should be "hard" to sit down and say that this (or these) are my favorite characters. but from every single wip i definitely have a brain rot character, and so from my "main wips" the brain rot characters are:
PARAMOUR (tfog) -> hyacinthus shrapnel, obviously. if i had to pick a favorite character of all my ocs its definitely him. he just DOES SOMETHING for me he is literally every obsession i have rolled up into one beautiful, piece of shit.
TCOL -> this one is more difficult because i have a few contendors bc the cast is ENORMOUS and still growing, but clear brightendale will always be my number one frfr. love of my life. my SON. i birthed him, and i'm obsessed with him. he would be followed closely and tied with lath, guardian of valor as well as MIZDARR in terms of other faves tbh.
VDTRT -> darren de leon, also somewhat obviously. he's my favorite guy. what a lad.
BTAF -> sjaak de witte. the first time i truly understood the appeal of a pathetic wet meow meow character archetype because he is all of that and i'm obsessed with him.
Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?
conceptualizing being friends with my ocs is weird to me because i hate percieving myself, and i'm kinda weird about friendships. i think i would be actually genuine friends with either the friend group in vdtrt (consisting of: darren, olice, vlad, moonglend, gabe, demi, marco, and awilda) or the friend group in sixteen candles (consisting of: ranger, nanette, vani, roger, and tucker). but overall, i actually don't tend to make ocs with super similar interests to me a lot of the time and bc of the 'ism i have a hard time making friends?? so like take this with a grain of salt. i'd rather observe my ocs and play with them like dolls frfr.
Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?
there are SEVERAL but if i go against the grain and i don't pick overt villainous characters (like tagetes, madja, silvano, etc)... probably the entire cast of btaf in some way or another tbh, like they just make decisions that while i (the creator) understand and think are fun in a "look at this shit" kind of way they would piss me off in a common sense kind of way. they are all dumb.
Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.
characters kind of take a few basic routes for me. either: i like a preexisting character (or am fascinated by them cuz lbr i don't like twilight lmao) and i want to make 'my own version' in which i have control of them or i can amp up/explore other aspects of their personality with free reign bc they're mine now (ie: darren/percy jackson, sjaak/jacob from twilight, kirsi/magda from helix waltz, etc) OR i come up with a plot and i need a character to fill that plot so they start as a utility, then become their own character as i develop them more. (ie: jenna has a crush on someone in school, so i made chloe mathilders and now she has her own personality. the entirety of donut wip existed bc i wanted to make a horror wip and so they kind of came with the stereotypical horror archetypes; juls as the final girl etc).
it's actually not quite often that i have characters appear directly out of the aether for me to just have to deal with. jenna is honestly a rare exception to this because she is the ONE character i can think of who straight up manifested herself. i think that's why her power is manifestation bc she broke the grain of how i usually come up with ocs so. good on you girly lmao.
Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?
yeah, i definitely have character types i gravitate towards, especially when it comes to characters who are my faves-though i do try my best to make it so all of my characters feel like distinct people, even though i do have 'archetypes' that i fall into with them. off the top of my head i can think of:
beautiful asshole (always masculine) -> hya, toph, dove, ranger, aenlin
masc femmes/adjacent that should break my neck -> nyseah, beki, piper, erecia, azelie, almine
"healing" characters, aka has never done anything wrong in their life ever -> aloe, karenza, vani, iole
resourceful underdog -> kirsi, julissa, darren, dagmar, nevaeh, chidori, noh, n
god just help them -> sjaak, di, clear, quill, prosper, hue, graves
i could go on but yeah like most of my characters can fall into some kind of archetype of some kind
How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)
honestly i don't have much of a visual imagination. the ocs that i can picture, i tend to draw out on my own characters so i picture them mostly in a more... stylized and what i wish i could draw version of my own art. otherwise i don't really picture them visually altogether. but this is mostly bc i can't visualize lmao.
my writing
What's your reason for writing?
i love stories, and i love story telling. there isn't really much beyond it. i've been doing it for so long, its literally just the fabric of who i am as a person. my literal first word was book lmao. like i just can't imagine existing without writing or storytelling in some form.
Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?
honestly i'm greedy. i want to hear specific reactions and i love when people go into deep depth to react to what i've written and really take in every single detail and then kind of give me a play by play of how they felt and things they liked. it makes me want to write more to get that reaction <3
How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)
um. idk if i want to be thought of in a particular way, but i guess i just want my stories to resonate with people. as long as they resonate and i can see how they do/the reaction people have to what i'm written then i'm happy. i think my stories should preceed me, if that makes sense. i don't necessarily need to be remembered for who i am but only for the stories i create. i guess?
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
prose and description
What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?
pretty much the same thing. a lot of people tend to like my more poetic and winding prose which makes me happy lol. i've also been told i'm really good at depicting complex emotions.
How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)
i love it, i think i'm talented asf. shame that the timeline and the state of the publishing industry won't let it be shown to more people but y'know. i would be lying if i said i didn't think that the only real talent i think i have is writing lol
If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?
YUUUUUP. writing is for me first and everyone else second. i like sharing bc i like validation, but i would be so hype to just be able to create stories on my own with zero interruption. tbh in that scenario i would probably make up so many stories that i would just die eventually bc i forgot to care for myself.
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?
if i wrote what others enjoyed, i would be publishable. i only write for my own interest.
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zeawoo · 1 year
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[20:34] ! park jongseong
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GENRE ▸ established relationship, fluff
WORDCOUNT ▸ 693
DISCLAIMERS ▸ mentions of food, not really good tbh 💀
TAGS ▸ @soobin-chois @enhacolor @yyunari @ethereal-engene
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“God I’m so tired.” You make your presence known as soon as you enter the small apartment as if the beeping from the door and the rustling aren’t a clear enough sign.
“Y/n?” Jay’s head pops out from behind the wall that separates the entrance from the other parts of the house. He sees you struggling with your gym bag thanks to your shaking arms. Out of reflex, he grabs it and waits for you to kick off your shoes.
Jay goes to put the duffle bag away and comes back to find you collapsed not on the couch, or the floor. It’s somewhat a combination of both; your arms dangling off the leather material and your legs sprawled on the ceramic floor. He almost laughs at how ridiculous you look, but he reminds himself that he isn’t any better post-workout, either. So instead, your boyfriend picks your body off the floor up onto the couch and takes a seat on the edge. He takes it upon himself to place your sore legs on his lap. And without even being asked, Jay starts massaging the pain away just like magic.
You’re lucky to have a boyfriend like him. And even though the man is quite literally head over heels for you and folds the moment your eyes meet, you love it when he puts his knowledge to use not necessarily to impress you. Just genuinely out of the kindness of his heart.
“Leg day?” Jay’s voice disrupts the silence in the living room. Your arm that's covering the upper half of your face moves away for you to slightly lift your head to meet his gaze.
“Dude you don’t know how much pain I was in when I was on the stair master.” An exhausted breath overtakes the last part of your sentence, but you’re confident Jay can decipher what you said considering how much you talk about the gym.
At first, you weren’t the type to care about doing exercise or anything of that sort. It only started once your close friend made you take advantage of Jongseong’s premium gym pass when he was off on a schedule. You didn’t necessarily enjoy it, but when you found yourself yearning for that last rep, you knew you were starting to get hooked on this new hyper fixation.
It was almost like a blessing in disguise because, before that, you had lost all your motivation and had hit a point in your life where everything seemed to be boring. Your attention span was horrible, the mood swings were pretty bad and your sleep schedule was even worse.
After going to the gym a couple of times and developing some sort of love for it, though, it seemed like your life was slowly getting more colorful day by day. Of course, you still had bad days but exercising was like a soft cushion that was there to catch you whenever you had a setback.
Your boyfriend caught on quite easily. It was pretty obvious seeing as you suddenly started talking about working out so much. And so like the star boyfriend he is, Jay started looking into workout routines you said you wanted to try and personally trained you. 
Jay won’t say it, but he’s glad that you’ve found something you’re so passionate about.
And so he looks at you endearingly, admiring every part of your face with nothing but love in his dark eyes. “Go shower, I’ll make you something to eat in the meantime.”
“A yogurt parfait?” You suddenly spring up, big eyes blazing with a sudden craving for something sweet.
“With granola, honey, and semi-sweet chocolate chips. The minis 'cause I know you don’t like the original ones.” A smile picks at your boyfriend's lips seeing you lick your lips just thinking about your post-workout meal.
“And then-“
“Yes, we can watch King the Land with your Doraemon plush.”
Your face can’t be any brighter at this point. “And-“
“Yes, I’ll give you a full body massage afterward.”
“Park Jongseong, I love you a ton.” You lean in to kiss his lips, giggling when he mumbles something along the lines of L/n Y/n, I love you 3000.
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sword-dad-fukuzawa · 2 months
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ok ngl i sent you several asks now but im pretty sure you're the reason why i've accepted that i am actually a guy with a pussy (i just had a mini breakdown abt that today and i found your blog like. a day or so before?)
(and tbh i do like being a girl but sometimes im just. not. and i dont have to force myself :) also. i love that you dont like transmasc hcs bc same lmao i thought i was like. transphobic but no. there's something going on here but it's not bigotry idk ig it just hits too close for me?)
I’m blinking at you like a stunned owl right now. Congratulations man I’m glad I could’ve helped in some way :] this is such a crazy ask to wake up to LOL (sorry if I’m not too eloquent, it’s buttfuck o clock in the morning but I thought I’d answer this as quick as I could)
You really don’t have to force yourself. I think every trans person has a complicated and deeply personal relationship to gender and at the end of the day it’s whatever makes you happiest, at least to me. Personally, my conception of my own gender fluctuates; presentation and androgyny are strong influences on how I feel; transmasc and genderfluid are just the simplest (and thus most useful for my purposes) labels even if they’re not 100% correct for me. Queerness is one of those things that can be hard to catch by the ankle and wrestle into a label. Although for some people it is! Not to be wishy washy but it’s all different.
Anyway. I didn’t talk at length about why I don’t really fuck with transmasc headcanons (I’d rather not get accused of transphobia on tumblr) but it’s really just that transmasculinity is my real actual life. A lot of my life already centers transness by default, which is not, you know, a bad thing. It’s just how it is. And again I have a complicated relationship with gender.
So while I’m a firm believer that other people should make their paper dolls look and fuck how they want, my paper dolls will almost always be cis guys. Something about the fantasy of having a dick, something about me personally finding dick on dick action hot (points at myself. fujoshi.) something about not wanting to write about all the intricacies of transness and worry about if I’m “portraying it correctly” or “representing the community well”…it’s too much and quite frankly I’m an erotica writer having too much fun on the internet, and that’s how I like it. A mutual described all that as “the politics of pussy” and that sums up the aversion I have to writing about transmasculinity when I write for kicks and giggles. I want to do it “right” even if I simultaneously hold the belief that there’s no “right” way to write most things and that kind of cognitive gymnastics is tiring.
As always I have exceptions. You’ll find at least a couple works on my ao3 that feature explicitly transmasc characters or are vague about the sex of the characters on purpose. This is either because someone paid me to write those (which is not a dig, I wouldn’t have accepted the commission if I didn’t want to!) or because I was just in the mood to write trans porn, lmao. It’s difficult to be specific about What Exact Flavor of Transmasc is the kind I’m willing to create or eat on the internet, which a. kills nuance and b. isn’t obligated to cater to me specifically.
Trans erotica played a large part in helping me accept myself and my sexuality as a trans person. Trans headcanon also tends to be close enough to home that engaging with it 80% of the time is not fun. I think, too, that headcanon doesn’t reflect your beliefs as a person; what matters is how you treat real actual people.
But yeah, sorry for going on for so long. I have terminal yapper disease LOL. Congratulations on the realization and I’m sorry about the breakdown, hope things get clearer and easier for you in the coming days :]
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powerin · 2 months
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I wonder how would you compare and contrast Miguel's love interests and his treatment of them? Somehow, I get the feeling the third movie in the Spider-verse trilogy will take him to task for his treatment of women over the years.
this better not be bait. kidding, but there’s some dude who likes to victim-blame and slut-shame dana in my tumblr DMs and it is Very Tiring to ignore him. hope you understand if this reply comes off as combative. 💖
dana’s obviously my favorite. “the virtuous and beautiful whore who sacrificed herself for the one woman she didn’t like.” she will always be my One True Love.
but i wish dana was smarter, less naive, and wasn’t preyed on by tyler stone. i wish dana and gabe stayed together and she didn’t cheat on him (miguel was not worth it). i wish miguel didn’t call her “stupid, deaf, worthless” and throw plates at her. clearly their relationship deteriorated after miguel became Spider-Man (a toxic entitled egomaniac becoming a superhero is a Bad thing? pinch me im getting megamind flashbacks). but dana saying that miguel should leave his toxic company and that she didn’t want miguel to feel any more pain… it hurts me deeply.
especially since dana was right: miguel should leave alchemax. and miguel is the one who causes dana so much pain.
moving on, i should like xina because i am ALSO a brainy tomboyish chinese woman. plus she’s miguel’s childhood sweetheart.
but more to the point, xina’s NotLikeAllGirls internalized misogyny irritates the shit out of me, and she forcibly changed lyla’s personality so lyla would talk badly about dana. lyla even says some misogynistic homewrecker bullshit like “ruin any relationships today dana?” and then says right after, “im sorry… i don’t know why i said that.”
plus when xina and miguel are alone… xina undresses in front of miguel to get him to sleep with her. but he just says (paraphrasing here), “not in the mood for romance plus you’re not that pretty.”
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miguel literally calls xina ugly to her face. and xina still thinks dana is the problem. she irritates me to no end. if xina isn’t interested in romance, why is she so upset about the cheating and the engagement? me thinks she’s a dishonest actor. tbh, if i’d be more accepting if the cheating was just a one time mistake and miguel can Move On with xina. but given these panels:
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dude did not cheat once. he did not cheat twice. he cheated over the span of 1-2 years (i’m glad you shaved like i asked, years ago). how much can miguel love xina if he’s always cheating on his childhood sweetheart?
keep in mind, when they meet, miguel rubs it in xina’s face that he’s engaged to dana. HE NEVER PROPOSED TO XINA AND HE DATED HER FOR OVER 10 YEARS. but suddenly dana comes along and he’s like “gotta wife that girl”?
you’ll never get me to be a miguel/xina cheerleader, but i don’t hate xina. i understand xina’s mad at dana for “taking miguel away from her” but miguel didn’t slip and fall on dana and whoops they’re together now.
for the majority of the 2099 fanbase to portray dana as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making miguel marry and have kids with her is taking a tragedy and twisting it into something that is frankly, deeply misogynistic and disgusting. they should be ashamed of themselves.
(not meant for you, by the way. i realize you’re here to have a discussion in good faith.)
lyla is lyla. she is cute, but she is also an AI. she cannot consent to a relationship nor sex. but idk. she’s okay when her programming isn’t being messed with by xina. she shouldn’t end up with miguel though. weird non-consensual things abound with robots and AI and cyberpunk that I Would Rather Not Talk About. but miguel treats lyla disrespectfully in the comics and the movie (played for laughs in the movie though? lyla does get him to say please.)
aaaaaaaand I haven’t read anything with tempest. i know she’s miguel’s canon baby mama and wife, and tyler stone fucks with tempest with some kind of mind-control parasite and forces miguel to kill her. i don’t know enough about tempest to have an opinion, but her design is… all right. i don’t dig the pink hair or the wings. maybe she’ll grow on me? does miguel cheat on her or throw plates at her or neg her? if not, she’s already doing leagues better than xina and dana.
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helloo !! I miss you !! Have you drank enough water today???? I hope you have a wonderful day, and if it isn’t going too good, then here’s some extra warm big hugs for you!!! 🖤🩶🤍 smooch on ur pretty head, i wish i could wrap u in a blanket burrito 😤
i hope all the other anons are doing well~ aaaaa i noticed 🥝 anon is more active recently and i’m living with her brainrot on Pretty tbh 😩 and the new anons asking more questions about WR is just so precious to me 🥹 i hope they discover your other universes too (Please read our queen Safe Haven, our beloved Herbie, and our darling Five Star and and and—)
anyways!! i hope our dear Raven is being her chaotic self~
~🍓
hi bby!! you sent this quite a bit ago, so sorry for getting to it so late!
i'm alive, that's for sure 🤭 been tired and in a weird mood, but i'm hoping it'll pass soon. what about you??? how's school??
Pretty induced brainrot is real. We're all Christopher sdjfbskjfdf
you're too kind, bby. i hope you're doing well. here's a void pic for you:
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the-feral-gremlin · 8 months
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The volunteer thing did not, in fact, help with my shit week.
This week has been so shitty. Like so fucking shitty.
The insurance shit is taking forever to go through which means I can’t get a refill on my meds. It’s been literal months and I’m so fucking miserable and tired of being miserable. Why do I have to be dependent on stupid ass meds. My anxiety (and literally everything else) is so fucking bad and I can do nothing about it none of my coping mechanisms work for some reason. I’ve been snapping and yelling and exploding at almost everyone lately because I’m so overstimulated (the autism kind) and just done so not only am I feeling shitty but I’m being shitty. I eventually had a meltdown that had me crying so hard my mom spent probably forty minutes just rubbing my back as I sobbed (like almost vomited type of crying) and then I just dumped how guilty and shitty I’ve been feeling (and still feel tbh.)
On top of it half of everyone in my family is also miserable and shitty because the insurance is also being shitty for them so that’s just fucking great!! We’re all miserable and shitty and taking it out in each other because none of us can pay for therapy to unlearn shitty generational trauma!! Also everyone’s mood is defined by everyone else’s mood (if that even fucking makes sense idk man I’m so fucking tired.) so that means that my mood is dependent on my mother, my father, a fucking teenager, and a whole ass toddler’s emotions and their emotions are dependent on mine as well.
I feel so fucking ignored by my family (which obviously I can’t blame) and my friends (who have their own issues and lives.)
Going to my volunteer thing usually helps and I get to be around people and talk and stuff. But today felt just wrong. All of my usual people (and myself) were busy planning this event that’s coming up (which I’m excited for) so everyone spent half of the time doing that but they fucked off halfway through and just fucking overwhelmed my friend who’s kind of in charge of it all. I fucking embarrassed myself because I almost started talking RIGHT when one of our (kind of) boss (not the friend I was talking about btw) thankfully someone shushed me. Then I spent a good couple minutes just sitting there after everyone already split up to do their own thing and I was alone (again, all my friends have their own separate groups and stuff, plus the friend who’s kind of in charge of it all went with the other kind of in charge guys to brainstorm and I obviously couldn’t follow them after that) and then our other (kind of boss) fucking asked me if I was okay after he saw me sitting there pathetically. I told him I was fine and then I asked a table of people I kind of knew if I could join theirs and they said yeah so it was fine after that. Then when I was leaving I went to say goodbye and no one except for the kind of bosses heard me or said bye, which is fine but it just made me feel shitty.
It’s 6am now and I haven’t slept because of shitty anxiety and yeah, like I said I’m just so done. (Not in like, a “death way” but in a “it’s been a shitty time lately and everything’s starting to hit me in the face” way)
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Something has been up with my hormones lately. My period hasn’t been on time for the last two months (and it’s ALWAYS on time), my sleep is horrible, my energy levels are insanely low and my moods have been kind of up and down. I feel like crying just thinking about it. I have therapy in two hours but I’m gonna have to cancel because I didn’t sleep all night. I did let him know about my energy levels in the last session but he didn’t seem to have any real insight except “you should come to therapy more regularly”, so canceling today makes me feel shitty tbh. I feel so weird going back and telling him “I was tired” when the first thing he asks me is why I missed the last session. Overall I feel guilt, anger at myself, tired tired TIRED, anxious and worried about my hormones and my late period.
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