#I’m sure there’s like a bunch of stuff I’m missing rn too

[ereawrites]

Hey gurl✨ I’m in my wife era rn so maybe some Shisui and/or Tobirama husband/jealous husband hcs?🫣 I loooovee your writing and tbh your thoughts are my thoughts so no pressure😩 If you not feeling it feel free to ignore me babe🧚🏻‍♀️

YOU HAVE FED ME SO GOOD MISS GIRL! under the cut for length

shisui

this isn't too relevant but I have to include it. it's too cute. I definitely see shisui getting married pretty young, like early 20s. if he finds his person he's going for it. probably gets a lot of shit for it from his family, but he doesn't care

loooong honeymoon period. in part because they're still a young couple but also... shisui is just a really devoted husband. he loves the married life. insists on kissing her goodbye every morning, eating together every night, stuff like that

LOVES DECORATING THEIR HOUSE are u kidding me. let's say they get a kinda shitty place right after they get married, and put a tonne of work into doing it up. he gets so into painting, building the furniture, even starts up a little herb garden in their kitchen

finds so many ways to drop his wife into conversation lol. he's down bad even after the honeymoon period ends, so he wants to show her off. his FAV is when she swings by his workplace to bring him his 'forgotten' lunch. he turns around to the rest of the guys like. yeah. that's my WIFE. isn't she hot.

very much a believer in keeping the romance alive. he wants to keep making the effort with her until the day he dies. veryyyy good at remembering anniversaries, scheduling regular date nights, etc. always makes sure she has fresh flowers in the house

obviously it isn't all perfect though. especially while they're young (and presumably both still active, high-ranking shinobi) their schedules keep them apart a lot. and this hits shisui really hard tbh. he hates coming back to an empty home after a long mission, knowing he might not even see his wife before he has to leave again

work is probably where most of their arguments stem from, actually. I don't see it being a regular thing, but it's easy for resentment to build in those kinds of situations. shisui is very torn between his love for his village, and his love for his wife, and the fact he can't prioritise both. thankfully shisui is a good communicator so they make things work.

in terms of jealousy... I don't see it being a common thing. maybe before they get married he tends towards it a bit more, but once she's his wife, why would he worry? she's his entire world and he knows she loves him just as much

the only way I rly see him getting jealous at all is if they're going through a bit of a rough patch for the reasons mentioned above. maybe they haven't seen each other in weeks, and they both get back from a mission on the same day. and there's some kind of event/function that evening that they have to attend

so they barely have a chance to acknowledge each other, before they're pulled apart again by the crowd. so if shisui sees some random guy getting a little too close and flirty with her, he gets more annoyed than he'd like to admit

even then though.. he's not necessarily jealous as much as he is upset. like goddamn just let this poor man have his beloved wife to himself for a night. in this situation he's more likely to behave more rashly than usual, and he might just make some excuses and take her home lol. he gets a little bit pouty until she gives him some attention

overall, though, he's very chill. he trusts her implicitly, and expects the same from her. they need to have a very honest, respectful relationship if he's going to wife her up

god okay and in old age they're so cute together. I bet they have a bunch of kids (probably accidentally tbh lol) so then they end up with a whole squadron of grandchildren. he's that fun grandpa who sneaks them sweets when the parents aren't looking. all the grandbabies want to sleep over at their house. and they LOVE it.

to sum up: very good husband. very relaxed, communicates well, makes her feel loved every day. why did he have to die I want to throw myself off a bridge.

tobirama

first of all. good job to this woman. wrangling tobirama into marriage is not an easy job. he's so fucking ANNOYING. it probably takes him years to confess he even has feelings for her, let alone ask for her hand in marriage

but once he gets there. it's pretty cute. he doesn't really act very differently for the most part - he'd already decided his heart belonged to her well before they married, and wholly committed. so his behaviour doesn't change much, and there isn't much of a honeymoon period. sorry. he's like marriage is just a contractual agreement why would it change anything between us

he does make a few little indulgences though. he gets this smug little look every time he introduces her as his wife. he's actually just a lot more prone to 'showing her off' in general, and more likely to show some physical affection in public. for tobirama that's maybe a peck on the cheek lol. but it's progress

he's definitely a lot.... gentler?idk. with her once they're married as well. he makes an effort to be more patient and less snippy, and shows his appreciation for her in a lot of quiet little ways. for example, he'll be sure to leave work on time no matter how busy it is if he knows she's putting a lot of effort into dinner that night. or if she spends a second too long looking at a new dress in the store, he's buying it for her

on that note. tobirama is such a provider once they're married. he does have that traditional idea of providing for his wife. he'll probably ask her if she wants to become a stay at home wife tbh. if she says yes, he still expects her to get out in the community of course. he'd love if she did volunteering work, maybe at the hospital or with kids or something. but he's also equally happy for her to keep working. power couple vibes very strong

they have a nice, quiet little house away from the village where no one bothers then and they loooove it. especially tobirama, his wife and their home are his sanctuary. everyone else gtfo

other than that, not much is really different from before their marriage. they probably actually lead quite independent lives, to the point where people don't even know they're married until tobirama drops it into conversation a few months later. they're very private and lowkey.

unfortunately for her, tobirama's paranoia also persists. he's a bit delulu sometimes lol and she knows this going in. but it does inevitably cause some issues, especially if she's headstrong (which is definitely the type of woman he ends up with)

he trusts his wife more than anything. he would never doubt her for a second. but other men? the enemy. not to be trusted. they're all dogs. it drives him absolutely batshit crazy to watch them ogling her, or god forbid trying to flirt with her. which is actually kinda common bc they're such a lowkey couple, so people assume she's single

tobirama isn't one to make a scene per se, but this definitely leads to a few awkward situations in public, and she probably ends up embarrassed a few times. and there's 10000% arguments behind closed doors. I don't see either of them being good with this lol. he acts like she's his political enemy he's ridiculous

but because he loves her so much, and he actually really wants to put work into the longevity of their marriage, he'll come around. he's a lot softer and more willing to compromise when it comes to her. but she can't point that out because he's mortified

over time, he chills out a lot more. they're one of those couples that just get stronger and better with time. they grow a lot together, and although they probably continue to disagree a lot throughout their marriage, it's always in a way that leaves their relationship stronger. and he only gets softer for her. people (hashirama) even start to point out how devoted he is and he can't even deny it. cute

overall a kind of difficult husband, because he is an exceptionally difficult man, but my god he loves her so much. he would do anything to make her happy.

[20doozers]

★Birthday boys★

TW: fluff, a bit of arguing (sorta), 2005 bill and Tom, birthday stuff, overall just some silly fluff for their birthday

A/N: THIS IS SHIT

It was the twins birthday, which meant a little party with family and some friends plus a hangout with the band. Yet this year Tom and bill decided to spend the night with m/n, having a movie night of sorts where the three just relaxed and hung out.

Tom sighed and he plopped down on the couch, looking up as bill eagerly dragged m/n into the living room. The twins had set up a bunch of blankets, cushions, snacks, etc, the only missing part was the popcorn, but m/n said he’d make it while the two picked some movies for the mini movie marathon.

“Ow- bill seriously you’re hurting my wrist.” M/n huffed as bill pulled him along, his manicured grip tight on m/n’s wrist.

“Oh shut up I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Bill rolled his eyes, finally letting go as he sat on the couch near Tom. Tom rolled his eyes as well, lightly swatting Bill’s shoulder, the action slowly resulting in the two full of slap fighting. To which m/n just turned and walked towards the kitchen to make some popcorn for the three of them.

When m/n got back to the living room the twins had already picked a movie and started it, earning a small huff from m/n as he sat between the two of them.

“You started it without me? Seriously?” He teased lightly, setting the bowl of popcorn in his lap and watching as the twins both instinctively reached for a handful at the same time.

“Oh whatever.“ Tom huffed, rolling his eyes as he leaned slightly into m/n, all three boys focusing on the movie for now. By the end of the first movie Bill’s head ended up on m/n’s shoulder, his soft, quiet snores making him all the more adorable as he slept on m/n’s shoulder. M/n didn’t mind of course, just letting bill sleep on him. After all that’s what friends did, right?

After their small movie night m/n decided to not go home since it was dark, and the twins clung to him anyway for him to stay. The three eventually settled in bed, m/n being in the middle sine the two fought about who got to sleep next to him. The bed was a bit small, m/n practically being squished with how much the other two spread out but he didn’t mind too much.

“Bill… bill let go I need to pee..” m/n grunted, trying to pry a sleeping bill off of him. Bill only whined in response, clinging to him tighter as m/n sighed and laid back down. He could hold it, it’s not like he’d force the twins off of him. It was about 2am, and he needed to go to the bathroom, but with Tom and bill clinging to him he couldn’t. He eventually fell back asleep, one arm around Tom and one arm around bill.

Tom groaned as a someone shook his shoulders, cracking an eye open to look up and see bill shaking him.

“Maus! Cmonnnnn..” Bill whined, shaking Tom once more and letting go when Tom sat up.

“M/n is making breakfast! Cmonnn!” Tom just grunted in response, rubbing his eyes before being rudely dragged out of bed by bill. The two eventually made it downstairs to the kitchen, greeted with the sight of m/n setting out plates of pancakes and syrup for the two twins, and the same with a bit of bacon for himself since the twins didn’t eat meat.

“Ah, there you two are. Happy birthday to my favorite twins. Now eat up birthday boys.” M/n hummed, watching as the two clearly food motivated boys sat down and started eating, only chuckling before sitting down and beginning to eat as well. He still had a cake to make, but he could start that later, he had plenty of time before tonight.

YAYYYY! First post in three weeks how’re we feeling?? Anyway, this is for the twins birthday since it’s the first for me rn, also I’m sorry for not posting I’ve been busy. And sorry if this is shit but it was a bit rushed since I only got the idea three days ago. LUV YOU GUYS!!

Tags: @itsmealaiahh @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @d0wn-in-the-morgue @billskeis @divinelolita & @cherry-rawr ofc

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

YN Bakugo: Big Sister

Bakugo featuring Class 1-A and various cameos x female! Yn Bakugo (she/her pronouns)

Warnings:light swearing, 99% fluff with mild angst, Bakugo being soft 🥹

AN: This is an anon request!

Ahh good ole UA high

A wonderful place for training up the future hero’s of the world

It also happens to be the home to our resident boom boom boi, Katsuki Bakugo 🥰

Ahh how we adore this little fire ball

Katsuki might be rough around the edges, but deep down inside we all know he has a soft side

And you know who knows that better than anyone?

That’s right, his lovely sister, YN Bakugo

Now, looking at you, one would never guess that you were related to Katsuki

Why you might ask? 👀

It’s definitely because you look and act just like your father, Masaru Bakugo

Your calm, cool and collected

While your brother and your mom, Mitsuki Bakugo, are more outgoing and loud

You prefer to keep a level head, especially in high pressure situations

You got along well with your parents, unlike your brother who was more arrogant and self-centered

“Katsuki you should act more like Yn! She’s an amazing hero!” Your mother would say

“The queen of the nerds? I will absolutely NOT be like YN!” Katsuki would argue back

You and your dad simply ignored them at this point

You quirk and calm ability helped you in everyday life

Which is perfect because like Katsuki, you followed down the path of becoming a hero

While you were a few years older than Katsuki, you still made a name for yourself

However Katsuki did his part to distance himself from you

“Bakugo, how is Yn doing?” Aizawa would ask after class

“No clue who you’re referring too,” he’d say, walking out

You were essentially the nerdiest of the nerds

And while Bakugō did love you, in his own Bakugo way

He also didn’t talk about you

He liked that his family life was separate than his school life

However that was all about to change 🙃

Now Katsuki knew Sibling Day was coming up but he simply chose to ignore it

He managed to intercept all of the flyers that were going to be sent to your parents home

He made sure that there was absolutely NO WAY you could find out

The last thing he wanted was for you to show up

Thank god a certain noisy someone would never tell you 😅

Right…

RIGHT????

“Hey YN, did you hear about the sibling even at U.A. this weekend?” Hawks asked you on one of your nightly patrols

“No, I had no idea! Katsuki didn’t mention it,” you said, figuring your brother probably didn’t want you to go

“You should definitely go YN! It would be cool for all the kiddos to see your quirk and stuff. I’m going to be there because it’s open to all pros,” Hawks said as you nodded

The night came and everyone was dressed and ready to mingle

A bunch of Bakugo’s classmates siblings showed up

Some of them were hero’s, others weren’t

It was really a great opportunity to get to know everyone

“Hey Kacchan!” Midoriya said : D

“What do you want nerd!” Bakugo responded

“I figured since neither of us have siblings, we could hang out!” Midoriya : D

“Like I’d ever hang out with you Deku!” Bakugo scoffed as he turned, stopping in his tracks when he saw you

Bakugo 👉🏻😠😐😳

You 👉🏻😁👋🏻

Bakugo 👉🏻😐😠😡

You 👉🏻😌🥰

“YN what the hell are you doing here?!?” Katsuki growled as you went in to hug him 🫂

“Suki it’s so good to see you! I missed you!” You said hugging your brother as he stood there, stiff as a pole

Everyone around you started murmuring

“Hey that’s Yn! She’s a huge pro!” Mina gushed

“She’s gorgeous and super popular,” Denki added

“Is anyone wondering why she’s hugging Bakubro?” Kirishima asked

Everyone 👉🏻😐🤨

“Ahh YN! It’s good to see you again!” Aizawa came up, giving you a small hug

“Erased, great to see you! I’m so glad I get to be here!” You say 😊

“I’m surprised your here Yn, I was sure Katsuki would have tried to stop you,” Aizawa said

“Oh I’m sure he did but hawks told me!” You said

Bakugo looking at Hawks rn 👇🏻

“Well I’m glad you could come!” He says as Bakugo stands there, glaring at you

“Did you ever think maybe there was a reason I didn’t want you to come?” Katsuki says as you stare at home

You 👉🏻 Nope : D

“Bakugobro whats up?” Kirishima says and him, Denki, Sero, Mina and Midoriya approach

Bakugo rn 👉🏻😐🤦🏼 why me

“Omg hi!! You must be Katsuki’s friends! I’m Yn Bakugo, his big sister!” You smile

“His… SISTER?!?!?” They all shout as you just smile and wave

Sero looks at you both, so confused, “umm I don’t get it. You two look and act nothing alike.”

“I know right? But it’s true, we are brother and sister,” you say, hugging Katsuki who is totally stiff as a board

You 👉🏻🥰🥰🥰

Katsuki 👉🏻😐🙄

“I gotta say, this is super weird,” Denki commented

“Try being related to her,” Bakugo adds

“Awe Katsuki, you know you love your big sister! Now come on, say it!” You sing

“Absolutely not,” he says

“Come on,” you say : D

“No,” Katsuki 😐

Suddenly, you hear an explosion happen right outside

The entire hall rocks with the aftermath of the loud boom

“Shit!” Katsuki yelled as everyone tried to get their footing

“YN let’s go!” Hawks yelled

“Katsuki, stay here and protect everyone! Leave it to your big sister to handle this!” You said, taking off before he even got to respond

“Alright nerds! Everyone stay put!” He screamed

“Uhh Kacchan, I don’t think calling everyone a ‘nerd’ is super reassuring,” Midoriya adds

“Well it got everyone to shut up didn’t it?” Katsuki shouted back

Midoriya 👉🏻 noted 📝

Meanwhile, you were outside, fighting off the criminals who caused the explosion

“YN look out!” Hawks shouted as suddenly your works went black

“Holy crow YN got hurt!” Someone shouted as Katsuki turned and ran towards the window

“What happened?” Mina asked

“She was fighting when someone threw a car at her!” Someone answered

Katsuki’s blood ran cold, he had to get to his sister

“Move nerds! Kirishima, make sure nobody leaves and protect everyone!” He shouted as he took off towards you

When he entered the steer, he saw you weren’t moving

He needed to get to you

“Bakugo no! We don’t need you to get hurt too!” Aizawa said as Katsuki watched hero’s race in to help

Someon grabbed you, quickly whisking you to an ambulance and taking you to the hospital

“Get out of my way!” Katsuki said before blasting off into the air and heading towards the hospital

Your parents were there, waiting when he arrived

“YN’s ok right?” He shouted

“Katsuki this is a hospital! Will you keep it down?” Your mother whisper yelled

“They are looking her over now Katsuki, but the hero that brought her in said she was conscious,” your dad said as Katsuku let out a breathe he didn’t know he was holding

Later, your parents went in to see you

You were pretty battered up but thankfully, you were able to protect yourself from any major damage

Katsuki stood by the doorway as your mother fawned over you

“Katsuki! I’m so sorry I ruined your night with your friends!” You cried

“Yeah whatever nerd, im just glade your ok,” he scoffed

You 👉🏻👁️👄👁️

“Katsuki got here as fast as he could Yn! Aizawa said he tried to get to you while uou were still knocked out!” Your mom said

“Mom will you be quiet!” Katsuki growled

You 👉🏻😐🥹

“Get over here and give me a hug?” You shouted as Katsuki looked at you like you had two heads

“I don’t do hugs nerd!” He said as you wiggled your fingers

“Come on, bring it in!” You said, still extending your arms

Katsuki 👉🏻😐🙄 fine!

He came over, giving you the worst most lack luster hug ever

But it didn’t matter, you knew your brother loved you ♥️

[crypticmillipede]

[percy jackson spoilers here up through Trials of Apollo and TSaTS]

listen i LOVEE the percy jackson series and its extended universe . BIG FAVORITE so trust me when i say i mean this with the UPMOST love:

gawd damn rick riordan keeps making these little choices in his writing that have me tweaking. like the way this man forgets his own lore. EGREGIOUS. pulls me out of the story. it’ll be the tiniest, most innocuous thing but it gets me everyyy time. happens more especially as you get into the later series, probably bc there’s just more stuff to keep track of. i loved TSaTS but it was especially bad there😭😭 wdym nico started playing Mythomagic in the 1940s ?? why is bianca here ?? and nico, who spends most of his time in the underworld, doesn’t know what the phlegethon is??

it’s other stuff too, i love the series but there so much missing potential for these characters that was just never fully explored.

Jason’s character had SO much potential. hello ???? child soldier trained by wolves since age 2, pressured with unwanted responsibility, forced to suppress emotions, remain stoic, be a leader. Rick could’ve done sooo much with that material. jason should get to break down, as a treat !! instead he comes off as a bit undeveloped, sort of hollow, not nearly as fleshed out as some of the other characters. he’s probably the least-liked main character in HoO, but i firmly believe that’s because Rick didn’t do his character idea justice, not because his concept was ACTUALLY boring. Not even going to go INTO what happened to him in ToA, bc i’ve GOT opinions about that but it’s too much rn.

and don’t get me started on Piper, man. the reveal in Trials of Apollo that [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER] Piper was queer? GENIUS. SOOO much potential there. but now i’m going back and rereading HoO and it’s making me mad bc we GET Piper’s pov and it’s not foreshadowed or hinted at at all. and it could’ve been SO GOOD you guys😭😭 imagine a version of HoO where Piper’s struggling with Hera-induced comphet, warring with the false memories implanted in her brain vs the way she’s expected to act as a daughter of aphrodite vs the way she actually feels ??? UGH it could’ve been so good. but instead, it’s so obvious that this was not Rick’s original plan for Piper’s character, and it was something he threw in later on. missed opportunity for sure.

in general, a lot of missed opportunities in HoO. So many missed character interaction opportunities, so much that could’ve been delved into but wasn’t! Like I wish we could’ve gotten more about Percy and Annabeth post-Tartarus, see how they’re holding up after that dumper fire.

and i LOVE HoO, it’s my favorite out of the bunch! but i think i love it for what it could be, yk?? anyways yes thanks for coming to my rant, feel free to disagree with me that’s totally fine!! this is so unserious anyways lol just me sharing some thoughts about a series i love

[bright-and-burning]

thank you for the tag @albonoooo <333

star sign: leo (attention whore signs 4 the win)

favourite holiday: my neighborhood does neighbor day every year and that’s a solid percentage of my favorite childhood memories. my neighborhood is very very close (very much so an “it takes a village” mentality) so i grew up with essentially twenty aunts and uncles. and also like ten dogs and thirteen vaguely cousin-esque figures on my block. anyways it’s like a massive potluck barbecue thing, it goes from like noon to whenever the last person heads in (which can be quite late). think like. potluck barbecue to casual day drinking to big bonfire w smores as the day goes by. as a kid i spent the whole day roaming the neighborhood and coming back every so often to grab food from the tables before heading off again. as an adult i got to get drunk on seltzers with a bunch of 50 somethings and it was incredible

last meal: omg it was my last ohio meal… i got it from this really special like local version of sonic’s (like a drive up food place). they make their burgers w a little bit of brown sugar and mashed banana (they’re the best burgers i’ve ever had). so i had a double hamburger w fries and a mint shake w brownie spindled in. if you’re ever driving through ohio PLEASE hit me up to get this place’s name it’s GLORIOUS. 1980s pricing (admittedly 80s portions too lol). neon signs everywhere. what i will miss the most

current favourite musician: i tend to just hit play on my liked songs so whatever i liked most recently gets played wayyyy more. a lot of the backseat lovers rn

last music listened to: mama’s gun by glass animals (BANGER OF A SONG!!!)

last movie watched: the muppet christmas carol i think . yeah according to letterboxd that lmfao

last tv show watched: i just binged monarch: legacy of monsters w my parents (amazing godzilla tv show but godzilla’s only in it for like. 10 minutes total lol. gay people <3) and then we started lockwood & co tonight on a whim

last book/fic finished: the invisible library by genevieve cogman !!! so good. librarian spy thieves…

last book/fic abandoned: oh gosh. i am such a completionist that i don’t think i ever leave books unfinished. technically i won’t be able to finish the masked city (the sequel to the invisible library) bc it belongs to the library and i am moving. but i will be picking it back up as soon as i have a library card in my new area so? does that even count? yeah i don’t really dnf things

currently reading: the masked city by genevieve cogman technically. lol. i’m trying to read at least a page a day in january. some days that means literally reading a page other days it’s reading 300. since i started the masked city like four days ago ive only made it through 30 pages bc moving is a nightmare so.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: hm. technically for the last thing i like posted that would be the drug testing guidelines for f1 (tldr fun fact party drugs are fine out of competition). i read like. 60 pages of legalese. and a bunch of medical stuff and then several wikipedia pages and guides for athletes. the last wikipedia article i opened was for NATO and i have no idea why LOL

favourite online fandom memory: i have the memory of a goldfish… i’m also pretty sure f1 is the first time i’ve been involved w a fandom like. as it’s happening. i’m usually a latecomer . i did enjoy whatever the fuck went down w supernatural and putin that was fun second hand (literally thru a groupchat bc i was in my significantly less terminally online era aka i was in college)

favourite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: newsies (1992) my beloved… i plotted out a fic that would stretch over like. 40 years. i went INSANE on historical accuracy research. and then i got depressed… someday my magnum opus (slice of life polyamory through turn of the century nyc) will come to fruition

favourite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: i feel like there’s been a million times i’ve walked out of a movie (or finished a book, or a tv show) and gone to ao3 and then it has like. 4 works. the rivers of london series by ben aaronovitch only has like . 1k fics on ao3. and not a lot of ppl posting on tumblr. so maybe that?

tempting project you're trying to rein in/don't have time for: all of them tbh… runners au really (it’s spawned into like three different fics of plot lines Plus an epistolary type companion…). i literally constantly come up w ideas (usually hyper specific aus) all the time ask dees it’s a PROBLEM for me. bc i have no time for any of them…

no pressure tags if u wld like <3 @userkritaaay @leclercenjoyer @drivestraight @oscarpiastriwdc @eyes-likepilotlights (i have not paid a ton of attention to who has done this/been tagged sorry)

[ralofofriverwoods]

3, 4, 16, 22, and 42 from the wholesome ask game, for virthik? (if he has friends????)

plus full permission to add on with any other oc you wanna talk about :3

He has friends! He’s just bad at being close friends with ppl. Very nervous and very inexperienced in that

3 what is something they really like about themselves, and what’s something you really like about them?

Hmmmm. Virthik likes his hair a lot. It’s arguably the nicest thing about him, in terms of the amount of care put in. He also quite likes that he’s finally at a point in life where he can actually do things that he wants to do, and have a say in what may happen to him. The thing I like most about him physically is his dragon horns :3 overall I like that he does his dead level best to help people when he can, even if he doesn’t know he’s doing it :)

4 What is the thing they like the most about their friends, and what is the thing their friends like the most about them?

For friends that are my ocs, he likes that they’re kinda used to his whole thing(pretty much just automatically) so they don’t end up getting terribly worried when he says out of pocket shit on accident(at least not visibly). Should they prolly be worried? Absolutely. He has a 50% chance of a therapist resigning after the first 2 visits, it’s like a status effect.

For npc friends(like Serena) he likes that she also kinda doesn’t mind hating on one’s own parents. Like ‘ayyy! Mine are shit too, what a coincidence!’ And of course that serana is kind of ok with just. Not chatting, but being around each other as a way to hang out. Burnt out chosen ones 🤝 not talking constantly bc honestly wtf. How

I’d list more canon characters but the only others I can think of rn are either government officials or gelebor. Sooooo

For something that they like about him, I think all of them have a general appreciation for his skill in combat. Learning how to fight early on has its perks! Especially the ones that have low health, it’s very nice to have a bit of a tank as a teammate

Otherwise I think they like that he’s always up for pretty much anything. Wanna go to that old abandoned crypt that’s definitely full of cultists? Why not! Wanna rebuild an entire town from the ground up? How hard could it be! Wanna talk about our feelings? Ok maybe not that one very much but he’ll get back to ya!

16 What was the happiest moment of their life?

I think it would have to be a few days after the dawnguard questline tbh. Hasn’t killed alduin yet but honestly? It’s good to know that he CAN kill him, or at least that he’ll have a chance. He’s still got a long way to go, sure, but knowing that you’re doing something right is always nice.

22 If they had to pick up an instrument, what would they choose? 

Ooh that’s a tough one. In Skyrim he’d prolly do a lute, for lack of any other really interesting instruments(other than a flute but like. Meh). If he could choose a modern instrument it would either be the drums or an electric guitar. Why? Cause he’d look cool.

42 Let them vent for a second, without the fear of being judged. What would they like to say?

“Ughhh well. I’ll admit I’m not feeling great. I mean like just in general I’m not but I really am not feeling great right now. Feel like I’m missing a bunch of stuff I should have known a long time ago, I don’t like it. Just a lot of things are happening and I don’t really want to mess it up if I can help it, I guess? I guess it’s a little like spinning a bunch of plates and making sure none of em drop and shatter? I think that’s the saying… umm I think it would help to just curl up under a rock for a little while haha. Maybe after I clear my to do list…”

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 20

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You have to drink that weird potion from the game that makes you trip out and stuff lol have fun with that sucker

Author’s Note: I know a lot of you are here for Seb, which makes me nervous to say this: For the next few chapters, Seb will be around, but not the main focus like he has kinda been.

I really hope I don’t disappoint, and that y’all enjoy this anyway ^^"

(Also, here is your reminder to see chapter 18 for a visual reference of Ras if you need a refresher, since he's visually based off of a mod in my story!)

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

My dumb ass feels guilty about sorta kinda going behind Seb and Sam’s backs and visiting the tower in the woods on my own. The fact that I’ll be going back again at some point is gnawing away at me.

I knocked out pretty soon after hitting my pillow last night, but I’ve spent the whole day after meeting Magnus moping around. Using snacks and cozy Ghibli movies in bed to cope. Couldn’t be productive even if I wanted to.

It’s just like… I have trust issues, whether it’s not trusting enough or over-trusting. What gives me the right to betray someone else’s trust, y’know?

I’m a monster.

Or, I’m totally making this a bigger deal than it needs to be… Maybe. Ugh.

Maybeee if I just come out and tell them I went there – or at least tell Seb – it won’t be too bad? Yeah? 

I sigh for the upteenth time today, very dramatically. Pausing Howl’s Moving Castle (y’know, maybe watching a movie about a wizard isn’t helping…), I flop my head back down to the pillow, accidentally causing Cannoli to stir next to my feet. Then, I crack my knuckles, and grab my phone from beside me.

< hello 🕺

Sebastian > hello yourself

Sebastian > what’s up

< are you busy rn?

Sebastian > not particularly

Sebastian > miss me already? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

< shut up

< i just wanna talk about something i guess

< it’s not like

< serious or anything

< i don’t think

Sebastian> that’s not at all comforting

Sebastian > wanna come over?

< sure, i’ll head there in a sec

< love u 🖤

Sebastian> gross (love you too 🖤)

_______________

Head fuzzy and pits sweaty from my nerves and the heat, I slog my way over to Seb’s house. I should get, like, a bike or something. Or a car, once I finally have a steady income from crops. I haven’t driven in a while — used to love it, for the small amount of time I was able to.

Then again, there’s like, no roads I could even take to get around town without ruining shit. I wonder how Robin manages to get around with that big ol’ truck of her’s.

“You look like a mess,” Robin immediately points out as I enter the workshop. Rude… but understandable.

I groan, shuffling over to the counter and leaning atop it. “I was up later than usual and now I’m grumpy.” That’ll be my excuse, sure!

She stands up from her custom-made, fancy-ass wooden chair and leans across from me, lowering herself to eye level.

“Everything alright?” she asks, seeing right through me. Reaching out to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, she gives me a soft, lopsided smile. I tend to forget how quickly Robin’s motherly instincts can flick on, considering how much of a little shit she typically is.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, I think,” I nod, “I’m just a big dummy.” “You’re not wrong,” she teases with a cheeky smile.

I laugh in response with a snort. “I’m outta here.”

“Be safe down there,” she sings out as I start my descent to the basement.

“Ughhhhhh–” 

“Is mom being a creep again?” a muffled Seb calls out behind the door, having heard my pained groans.

As I enter, I answer, “When isn’t she at this point?”

“Fuck,” he mutters. 

He was playing something – dunno what – but I’m assuming that was a response to whatever just happened. He clicks a bunch and leans back in his chair, takes off the headphones that were only half-on anyway, and brings his eyes up to me, indicating that he’s quit out of the game. I notice as he gets up that I’m still just awkwardly standing at the door, so I promptly make my way to the sofa, where he joins me.

“So?” he prompts. Shit, right to business.

“So, er…” I fiddle with some of the callus on my hands. Why am I so nervous?

“You went to that tower, yeah?”

I meet his eyes in shock. How the fuck did he know? Unless this new theory, that he can read minds, is true. “Y-yeah.”

“I had a feeling you would,” he smugly grins. This fizzles away my previous worries, but introduces the fear that he’s actually so goddamn perfect because he’s had a backstage pass to my motherfucking brain for the past several months that I’ve known him. 

“And you’re not, like, mad?” I question, trying to push my paranoia aside.

He shakes his head. “I trust that you wouldn’t do anything that you think is unsafe.” I sigh, and lean on his shoulder. He wraps me into a warm cuddle. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

I nod shyly. “I felt so bad for lying to you guys.”

“There are worse things to lie about, kid,” he laughs.

“‘Kid?’ We’re basically the same age,” I protest. As if I’ve never called him “kid” before.

He lightly noogies me, and I frantically flap my hands against his tummy until he stops.

“I had a feeling you were gonna go there yourself,” he claims. “You’re normally too stubborn to give up on something so quickly.” I whine, not liking how easy I am to read, but I don’t defend myself. Because he’s right. 

Only further supporting my theory. 

“Find anything cool?”

“Yeah, actually.” I wonder if I should tell him about all the magic stuff for a sec, before opting out. “The man who lives there is really nice, and his house is gorgeous. Suuuper talented plant-dad,” I enthuse. “He agreed to let me bring Abby over sometime, too. We have plans to meet up again beforehand. Ya know, so we can really win her over without it seeming like some predisposed thing.” 

And so that I can, like, learn magic or about magic or have something to do with magic. 

I look up to check Seb for a reaction, and he’s frowning. “What’s up?”

“Why ‘we’? What does he want with her?” “Long story. It’s nothing creepy,” I promise, “but I’m not sure if he wants me just… telling people his business. So I’d rather not get into it, if that’s okay with you.”

Seb nods, but his features don’t falter as he looks blankly across the room. 

“What’s up?”

He seems to shake away a thought before placing a kiss on my forehead. “It’s nothing, baby,” he tries to assure me.

I don’t believe him.

I groan under my breath, “Sebastiannn.”

“Hm?”

“Seriously,” I pry, “I can tell you’re bothered by something I said. If you are, I wanna fix it, or help, or something.”

“No. Um…” he thinks for a sec, as my eyes scan his face for answers. If there was anything I thought he’d be upset about, it would have been me going to the tower alone. “Fuck, whatever. Yeah.”

I sigh. I’m about to ask him what I said or did, when—

“So you know about all that arcane shit now, yeah?”

My eyes widen again. “Oh my god you are a telepath, aren’t you?”

“What? No,” he shakes his head. “Well… I mean. Yeah, I am, actually.” !!! “But I don’t use it, like, ever.”

My stomach drops.

What if he’s lying to make me feel better?

I push my insecurities aside again. “Then how’d you know?”

Seb leans his head against the top of mine and sighs, playing with the ends of my hair as he speaks. “I went there once when I was younger – had to have been, like, 20 or somethin’ – and met Magnus. Haven’t seen him in ages… it was all too weird for me.” Wow. The last thing I expected to hear was that he actually knows the wizard himself.

He continues, “I didn’t want anyone finding out about it exploiting him somehow, and it also just, like…” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “I figured all that fantasy sorta shit is best kept as a genre, and nothing else, ya know? I’ve been into it in games, manga, everything, as an escape from real life for as long as I can remember. The idea of living and experiencing all that stuff firsthand freaked me out. So,” he shrugs slightly, lightly jostling my head. “I just kinda kept it to myself, eventually deciding to abandon it all together. Ghosted Magnus, which obviously was a dick move, but I’d figured if I was needed or anything, he’d reach out. Aaand he never did. So… yeah.”

He puts a big hand on mine, bringing awareness to the fact that I’m clutching onto his black t-shirt so hard. Whoops. I ease up my grip.

“I’m sorry if this, like, triggered anything for you,” I say, looking up to meet the rich indigo of his eyes. “I had no idea anyone knew about him and what he does, really.”

“No, don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault,” he reassures me with a dry laugh, “I didn’t think I’d still feel this bitter about that stuff.”

“Do you have bad blood with Magnus or something?” “No, not at all,” Seb rejects. I notice a tiny smile forming on his features – one that I don’t think even he knows is there. “He was a really great friend for the few months that we knew each other.” “Just mourning a loss, then?”

“Yeah,” he sighs with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Something like that.”

A few beats pass before I softly offer, “I can give him your regards when I see him again, if you want. Just for closure if nothing else, y’know?”

He shakes his head as he replies. “Nah, no thanks. I’d rather do it myself if I ever feel like it.”

I slowly nod. “So… would you be against me learning magic?”

Seb doesn’t answer for a little, but I don’t prod. I want to give him time to think. I consider the question, too. I really, really want to get involved in this stuff, if it’s actually, like… in my blood or whatever the fuck. I want to respect Seb’s past, but I haven’t been this eager to learn something new in forever.

He breaks the silence, finally. “Kinda, honestly.” I can feel myself deflate. Fuck me. “But I wouldn’t stop you from trying it.” …Oh?

I raise my eyebrows, a little surprised that he’s so chill about this, given what he’d just told me. “You sure? ‘Cause I’m pretty stoked to do it, honestly,” I confess, not able to keep a grin from forming as I think of what’s to come. “But you’re more important than becoming a wizard or witch or whatever the fuck.”

“I think so,” he responds, scruffing my hair a bit. “If it’s something you want, you should go for it, as long as I don’t have to be directly involved or anything.”

“Of course not. I’d never want to put you in a situation that could hurt you.”

Seb kisses my forehead, muttering something about me being a big sap, then wraps his thumb and forefinger around my chin, bringing my mouth up to his. I ignored his cheeky remark in our texts earlier, but god, I really do miss these lips when I’m not around them. I deepen our kiss and reach up to take his face in my hands, thankful that this went relatively well.

_______________

About a week and a half has passed since I’ve really left the farm. My most recent ~off-campus~ excursion was when I visited the wizard again for a small overview of what I’ll need to do in order to start this weird, magical journey of mine. That was a few days after I met with Seb to apologize for being a sneaky lil’ rascal.

I’ve been balls deep in preparing my farm, hoping I can get some more land ready for crop-growing by autumn. I knew that it would be in my best interest to use the sudden hyperfixation as fuel to work. I can only live off of Grandpa’s inheritance for so long.

A few mobile Discord calls with Seb, Sam, and Victor, with strict instructions not to come over until further notice, have been keeping me motivated as well. I always find it easier to get things done when someone other than myself is there to hold me accountable, but get distracted too easily to have someone else physically present.

The downside to this, though, is that I missed a supposedly important town event: some beachy potluck luau… thing. It sounds like it was boring, but I kind of wish I got to experience it for my first year here. I had no idea it even existed until Seb and Sam called me from the party itself, and at that point, I didn’t want to show up covered in soil and empty-handed.

After that, I realized I should touch some grass that isn’t mine, deciding to leave the house at my next possible opportunity.

This morning I received a letter from Magnus, telling me to go see him in his tower at my earliest convenience. I wonder if he could read my mind from all the way over there… 

Coincidence or not, my excitement about all this fancy magic stuff hasn’t fizzled away whatsoever — unfortunately taking precedence in my mind over what I’m now calling Mission: Abominable (Heh, get it? Like, Mission: Impossib– sorry.) — so I made his task my duty for the day. 

Going to Magnus’ house this time is a lot… friendlier on my body than the past two. I still feel that weird connection to it, but it seems like it’s eased up. As if the spirits know I’m mentally locked-in on fulfilling some weird destiny of mine, and decided to cool it with the obnoxious straining. 

I jog up the stairs, my favorite skirt swishing around with each step I take. Noticing his lack of telepathic intrusion as I slowly waltz up to the door, I knock. 

“You home, Magnus?” I call out.

“Yes,” he shouts, verbally, from what sounds like a far room. “One moment, please!’

Upon his confirmation, butterflies float around my tummy. I promptly start fidgeting with the sleeves of my tucked-in henley. 

The flutters are probably just there because I’m excited to learn more about myself, and magic, and whatever.

The door opens in front of me, and Magnus looks a little disheveled. “Apologies for the wait,” he grins, “Please, come in.”

“Everything alright?” I ask, eyes trained on his messy tresses. Noticing this, he reaches up to flatten it all back into place.

“Yes, I was just struggling to find something I’ll be needing today. I’ve acquired it, though!”

“Cool,” I respond. I wonder if that “something” even has anything to do with me… I hope I didn’t interrupt his original plans for the day. “By the way, is it okay that I just sorta… showed up?” I begin to stim with my sleeves again as I speak. "I can give you a call or we can set a date next time, or something.” 

“Don’t worry about that,” he reassures, guiding me over to the cauldron. “I foresaw your arrival.”

“So you can predict the future, too, huh?”

What sorta shit can’t this guy do? I mean, I guess if he’s powerful enough to constantly maintain a magical barrier around the valley, he’s gotta be a strong and talented wizard. But still.

“To a certain degree, yes.” 

“For how long did you know that I’d be coming here the night we met, then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he muses with his back turned.

He’s setting up a bunch of ingredients on the counter. I peek around him from my place on the opposite side of the pot and see a few crushed leaves of some sort, some flowers that I dunno the name of, mushrooms, bearberries… ooo, I wonder if he’s making a potion today! Excitement brews (Really, I am so sorry for all these puns) within me as I realize that this is all real.

I muffle a laugh. “No shit, that’s why I asked.” 

“Ah, of course. That makes perfect sense.” 

“...So you’re not gonna tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Fucker, I think, rolling my eyes despite the big dumb smile plastered on me. 

“Language, miss,” he exclaims as he turns to face me, his amusement closely mirroring my own. 

So “shit” is fine, but you draw a line at “fuck?”

“Sure,” Magnus replies. I palm my face, shaking my head, as my body shakes from giggling so hard. “I’m kidding, of course,” he confirms.

“Respectfully, get out of my head,” I sigh. “Seriously, how many of my thoughts have you heard?” 

“No matter!" Ah, great. More ambiguity. “I’m brewing for you today a potion that will help you hone your potential skills,” he explains, mixing his ingredients into the cauldron. It smells funky… hopefully it at least tastes okay.

“It won’t hurt, will it?” I worry out loud, moving closer to his side now.

He peers down at me and shrugs. “Well, no, but you may feel a little nauseous. That’s more of a byproduct of the taste, than the properties of the mixture itself.”

“Ugh. So it’s gonna taste as, like… musky as it smells?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” he grins apologetically. “Fear not, I have a solution!” Magnus leans his stirrer – I haven’t seen the bottom, so I’ve got no idea whether it’s a spoon or not – in my direction. “If you’ll be so kind as to take over, for a moment.”

I take the device from him and continue to mix the elixir. It’s not as… pretty as the one I saw a few nights ago. Just as green, but more bubbly and sloppy than it is shimmery. I wince, trying to imagine what the texture is going to be like.

Magnus rummages through a drawer underneath the surface he was working on before. “Ah-hah!” he whispers.

He spins around, and is now holding a sealed stick of rock candy in his hand. The full display of his ever so slightly crooked teeth, and the way his little mole scrunches underneath his eye crinkles as he beams at me, is just as sweet as the treat he’s holding. This man is precious.

“T-this should make it more bearable,” he prompts. 

His eyes flashed pink for a quick second, and he stuttered for the first time since I’ve met him. Please tell me he didn’t hear me calling him precious. Or… thinking of him as precious? Agh. 

He holds out the treat for me, and we swap places again. I grin down at the candy, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. It feels a little juvenile… like, if you eat your veggies, you’ll get to have some dessert!! I don’t think it’s intended by any means – Magnus has been nothing but pleasant to me, and apparently to Sebastian too. 

And it’s not that I don’t like it... I fucking love rewarding myself with snacks.

Why am I so self-conscious about this? Get it together, lady.

I shyly thank him, fumbling around with the white ribbon that’s neatly tying the candy’s plastic wrapping in place. “Is this gonna be as… chunky as it looks?” I question, scrutinizing the liquid.

“Indeed it is.”

“Gross.”

I look up and see him nodding, a pained look on his face. “Luckily, it should go down quickly, so long as you don’t gag.” 

He smiles again, this time more lopsided and not-so comfortingly. He knows it’s gonna suck. He knows that I know it’s gonna suck. I think he’s slowly realizing that his attempts to dilute my worries are pointless.

I groan, prompting a chuckle from him. “Just think of the candy, (y/n),” he softly encourages. As if he isn’t laughing at my pain right now. 

I nod curtly. “Think of the candy,” I quietly repeat, soothing myself. Glaring at the dumb, bubbly goop in front of me.

Magnus lifts his stirring device – it’s just a long-ass ladle – and pours some of the contents back into the mixture. “It looks like it’s ready!” 

…Good lord. I really don’t do well with big textures. This is going to be a nightmare, if that sludgyness is anything to judge by.

“It looks like it’s disgusting, you mean?”

“If sweets aren’t enough comfort for your psyche, think of the results!” he says while scooping the potion into a small, glass vial. Looks to be about a shot glass or two worth of liquid. 

He hands it over, and while I inspect it, he continues, “Regardless of whether or not you have the capability to create magic, you will be more in tune with nature, which will help in your profession. You should feel less fatigued from hereon as well, and–”

“Ah, that’s right! We don’t even know if I can be a wizard or whatever, yet.” I complain, nose scrunched.

A moment of uncertainty passes, before he breaks the brief silence. “...Think of the candy?” He winces, smiles, and shrugs, his eyebrows upturned.

I take a deep breath in and out. “Think of the candy.”

_______________

“Fucki’g shit, Magnush!”

“I’m sorry, (y/n)! I promise you that I have never heard of a reaction quite like this!”

From the ground beneath him I moan in pain, rock candy hanging out of my mouth, my arms around my stomach and knees tucked to my chest. My eyes are pouring with tears – not of sadness, but of pure agony. 

“It hurtsh sho bad, oh my fucki’g god!” I slowly lean forward, resting my forehead on the surprisingly cool iron of the cauldron.

The potion was just as disgusting as I’d imagined it would be, but that shouldn’t have been my main concern, apparently. I’ve never felt so bloated or crampy in my life. 

Think: worst period cramps you’ve ever had, perhaps with endometriosis, but then cranked up, and also it’s in your stomach too. I have no idea what childbirth feels like, but I can’t imagine this being far off. This is fucking awful.

I’m almost positive that I’m allergic to one of the ingredients he’d used, because neither of us know why else I’d be reacting like this... Unless my body is just that resistant to the arcane.

Magnus, blue-eyed with guilt, hastily drained out his cauldron and began crafting a new tonic upon the realization that I wasn’t just super icked by his concoction. This new one should (hopefully!!) have healing properties. He’s anxiously mixing new ingredients above me with one hand, partially leaned over so that he can keep his left palm comfortingly atop my head.

“I’m sorry, my dear, truly! I’m working as quickly as I can.”

I know he didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but in my pained delirium, I feel so betrayed. I whine out in response, letting the rock candy fall from my mouth and onto the floor where it shatters.

“I’ll clean that up later, I’m sorry,” I sob. 

“That is the absolute least of my worries, (y/n)!”

He murmurs a quiet spell of sorts, gives the mixture one last stir, and softly rubs my head, before going to grab a vial for the new potion.

Wiping away the tears that obstructed my vision, I lean back slightly, swivel to the side, and look up, watching him pour the new elixir. This one is pretty, which hopefully is a good sign: cerulean, thin liquid with specks that resemble a prismatic glitter floating through it.

Magnus kneels in front of me, ready for me to receive the potion. But noticing the self-soothing death-grip I have on the fabric of my no-longer-tucked shirt, he instead takes matters into his own hands.

His blue eyes become rosy as he focuses on my pout, bringing the vial to meet it. I sniffle and open my mouth slightly to wrap my lips around the glass tube, craning my neck as he puts a large hand partially on my face and partially on the side of my head for support.

This potion is a lot colder than the last, and feels slightly fizzy going down. It’s soothing. I’d say it’s almost as sweet as the rock candy I’d destroyed earlier, too. And luckily, the instant it hits my stomach, I feel better…

But now I’m painfully aware of his thumb softly brushing my jawline, the blush on his cheeks, the blush on my cheeks, the faint warmth of his breath, his fingers in my hair, the— 

He pulls his hand and the vial away, smiling. His eyes are their base shade again.

“Better?”

Heat grows up to my ears and down my neck, as I nod. “Much,” I squeak out. 

An uncomfortable pit forms in my stomach as I notice that the ghost of his touch is still lingering on my skin like static.

[neyxmessi]

to the last anon i’m sorry but please shut up. there’s no way you’re a long time barca and MESSI fan saying that HE is the one who messed up psg’s dynamic when it had absolutely fucking nothing to do with him. psg got messed up because mbappe’s contract was so large that they had to sell and/or loan important players like parades and di maria, hence the bums currently on psg. it has nothing to do with leo and i’m sorry but that genuinely genuinely just pissed me off. and no, barca may be doing good right now but they actually have a glaring amount of issues specifically in attack. they’re 15 points ahead because of some lucky 1-0 wins GIFTED by pedri that were lucky. they’re immensely static creatively and offensively and that’s where leo would fit in. clearly you don’t know what you’re talking about but sorry i will not have anyone dare saying or insinuating it was leo that messed up fucked up psg. it had nothing to do with him. and i find it hard to believe that any MESSI fan would say this, must be an anti in disguise because huh?

yea kylian really knew what he was doing with his contract and wage demand bc he knew psg would literally die without him LOL 😭

but definitely. tuchel leaving after PSG’s almost CL win also played a huge role for that first season. and like you said, the loaning out of players like di maria and paredes (ugh i miss them sm) caused them to for whatever reason get a bunch of bums💀 also galtier just doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time. so I agree (and i think i made that clear hopefully from my last post) that i don’t think leo is at fault for whats going on with psg rn

and that’s a fair point too. pedri really does make a HUGE difference w Barca.

and an aside: i have to be honest that im horrible when it comes to knowing tactics so that’s what im kinda neutral when it comes to ppl arguing ab whether leo would fit back into barca or not bc im still learning 😭i don’t want it to seem like im just agreeing with everyone to be a people pleaser. i learn every day from reading stuff online and what my moots/followers tell me since my family and friends don’t watch football, so that’s why I’ve always disclaimed that when it comes to that stuff I’m not fully sure of what I’m talking ab.

[a-kaash-me-outside]

Fck Tori, holy fuck TORIIIIII. The epilogue that you have served to us all???? IMMACULATE I AM CRYING MOANING GAGGING LIKE fuck bo-kun.

Thank you for writing a beautiful series of twrt AHHHHH I can’t. You know that feeling when your fav novel or show just ended and you don’t know what to feel and do after that? Yeah, that’s how I feel rn.

I’m a bit late reading the last chapter of twrt, busy week aha :’D I hope you’re enjoying the rest you’re taking rn!! You REALLY deserve it. Mhmm, for sure. Idk if I’m seeing this way too deep but I feel that you have been down lately after that anon message where they “criticize” your work. I also feel down just by reading that and idk how such person was SO entitled to say such things 😂 at that point I was like ??? They’re just being mean at this point ://

I want to comfort you so bad, but I don’t know what to say other than I wanna hug you and just say fck them. You still have us – the horny bitches – at your side tori. We love your writings and your ideas/plot always surprised some of us (including me). I didn’t expect yn able to fck bo-kun. Like no, really, I really didn’t expect that. Like no shit yn just fck bo-kun and tsumu is the one OFFERING bo-kun? Damnnnnnnn (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

So yeah, you really deserve that break, even if it takes months I’ll stay bcs I can’t find another who writes tsumu, my king and bo-kun, my adorable sweet sweet fcking machine like you. Ily tori <3 i hope you’re able to wind down with your loved ones during your break !! <33

- sn

hello baby!!! <3 thank you sosososos much. omg. thank you for the kind words and always in-depth thoughts. i've loved reading them and chatting with you smsmmsmsms. <3 <3 <3 i am enjoying the rest and stuff i'm taking (though it's not really a rest, i've been going and going and going with travel and everything but it's been really nice to take a tiny break from tumblr and such even though i've missed you all!!!!)

yeah!!! i felt a bit shit reading it the first time, but then the more i thought about it i was like... hmmm. not really my problem that they didn't like it. it wasn't for them anyways. BUT thank you so so much and i appreciate it a bunch. all of the kind words and loving asks have really meant the world to me. <3 <3 <3

i'm back with my samu fic tomorrow hehee. so you don't have to wait too long. (though i did say i wouldn't post it until it's finished and it ISNT but it's fine. i'll finish it before it's all over. so!)

<3 <3 <3

[flwoie]

hiiii~! i'm back! i was worried abt u but i'm glad u took a rest! im happy ur back~~ i missed sending u stuff! ooh and thank u for all the wonies!! im so happy, i'm still having an enhypen fever (see what i did there lol) rn!!! i'm enha-dazed!

(as per usual, long ask ahead! scroll at ur own risk!)

but i’m so excited for the fic! im really conflicted cuz i am TERRIBLY attached to the main lead cuz he is too precious and didn’t even do anything wrong 🥺 his friends and family just deserted him and everyone thinks he’s a terrible person for no reason which is so 😩

like,, 2378 words and IT HASNT EVEN REACHED THE PART WHERE THE READER ACTUALLY *SEES* THE ML AS A GOOD PERSON!!

okay but fr ive been going through the WRINGER these days, but my wonnie boy has helped me A LOT! he makes me smile sona 🥹💖 like no matter how bad a day im having,,, jungwon makes it feel better~ ( ,,,help im down bad, but i think we already established that lol)

okay also i think its so fun how u were doing some investigating lol! i actually feel like im being SO obvious but i guess not lol and OMG should i unveil myself rn? I CAN, NO CAP I WILL DO IT—

okay, time for the qotd!

would u rather be confessed to under the light of the moon in a secret garden where your partner gently pushes you on an old, childhood swing as he sung an ode to his love (aka you)

OR 

would you rather be confessed to along lit garden walkways, your partner leaning in closer to pick a crimson rose from a rosebush behind you and kissed you as he leaned you back and cradled your head from the thorns?

….this decision will directly affect the outcome of ur fic so CHOOSE CAREFULLY LMAO

i adore you, have the best day or night!

-3

three!! i missed u and ur enha dazed asks LOL

JHSKSJJ HOW LONG IS UR FIC GONNA BE 😭😭 IT MUST BE REALLY GOOD IF ITS LONG

oh noo are u okay tho :( i’m glad that won makes ur day better but i just wanna make sure if ur okay <3 i’ll send a bunch of wonnie pics 🫶

EEE IF U WANNA UNVEIL URSELF GO AHEAD !!! i actually have a few blogs in mind but if you’re not the blogs that i have in mind, then wowie, you’ve done a really great job at being anon ^_^

answering time, my fave!! this one was so hard to pick cause they both sound so JSKSKSJKJ

i might have to pick the first one, i think it’s really cute and the moon is my fave (ahah fun fact, i named myself after beethoven’s piece, moonlight sonata i think i said this many times but it’s a great piece!)

love u moree three, you have an amazing day or night 💗💗💗

[pop-punklouis]

Hi Hopeee 💗

Sorry I missed a couple days (oops) been really busy!! Oooh I wanna say I wish I were you (like doing things WAYYY in advance instead of at the last minute) but I can also see how stressful and annoying that tendency can be. Both the extremes suck 😩

Re: shows, I mean, I just think it's ways of trying to cram our brains with content so you have something to do, y'know? And as for stranger things, I see your point about they should've stuck to original lore but I also kinda like all the stuff they brought in, it was a little messy but it also felt huge and in some ways it seemed to tie up with the rest of the lore for me so I quite liked it. Even if it's a little bit of an extreme leap. I need them to make more black mirror and I'll deffo get back to you when I watch midnight mass AND 1899.

Re pasta: I like all kinds of pasta dishes. We make a lot of creamy garlic penne pasta with chicken. We also kinda just modify it a lot sometimes to fit our own cultural tastes and make it spicy. It's just good no matter what.

Masters in film and media sounds so cool! And it's totally okay and valid to not have any really future plans rn, I've been there tons and I still don't really know what I actually wanna do. You deserve a couple months rest! I'm sure you'll find the right fields in it's own time and I hope you find all the opportunities you desire! There's time, and you'll get there 💗 working in an antique sounds like THE life tbh. A small, simple life.

My weeks been okay! Busy with work and other events but also yes, definitely been Christmas shopping and stressing over gifts and them getting here in time rip I should've done this earlier 😩 we did however have our tree decorated since Dec 1st I think? Maybe earlier? Dunno. Hope you've been having a good couple days!

For today's question: if you could pick a color palette (or a bunch of colors) that you feel captures you/your vibe, what would they be? Feel free to include pictures of the colors if you want!

Sending you much love and the bestest vibes 💫

~🌱

no worries bb!!! it’s been such a busy time for me too so i’m just tryna find time relax in the middle of all the holiday season 🤧

re: shows. i think i just really fucking hate the vecna character as a villian he’s so lame and i wish they didn’t try and make it where he was the main dude of the upside down and created all of the monsters we’ve come to know throughout the seasons like mind flayer baby i’m SO sorry they did this to you :/ in my mind stranger things canonically ended after season 2 and these are just bonus seasons for fun fjfkfkfk but yes please can’t wait for you to watch those shows 👐🏼

re: pasta. oooo that sounds super good honestly. i love any kind of pasta that throws chicken in fr i just love chicken. i need to start cooking more. i baked a lot during the pandemic but got away from that too rip

re: degree. yeahhhhh i’ve done so much in my field and nothing has really jumped out at me but i’m a big believer in trusting your own timeline and just trying not to stress too much about the unknown (even though as a capricorn that’s so hard 💀) one day i aspire to be a mountain mama who owns an antique store. truly the only life i want at this point i’m tired of the rest rip but thank you for the words of encouragement it’s very kind of you 💕

godddd christmas shopping is gonna kill me i think lol my whole family just thought we had more time and all of a sudden it’s the week before christmas and we were scrambling to get gifts and paying for expedited shipping so they arrive on time 💀 i feel like the family on home alone the day they leave for vacation but instead. it’s just us trying to christmas shop. and i love that about the tree! do you guys have a fake or real one? this is the first year i’ve ever known us to have a fake one. the real ones were just super expensive this year which made me sad :/ christmas never feels the same if we don’t have the smell of a real tree in our living room 🤧

and oooo i think earthy colors are a big one for me. olive greens. burnt sienna. browns. taupe. but also i love pastels like lavender or powder pink or jade green etc. it’s definitely depending on mood i think lol how about you? ✨👁

and i hope you have a great day yourself babe!! x

[reverie-starlight]

{streaming with kenma thoughts}

this is literally just a bunch of plot points for myself for a full one shot I want to write using some of these details later. but i’m super busy rn and don’t have time to write the full thing, so this is just so i don’t forget anything!! but i thought i’d share them with you :)

major time skip spoilers! idk if I still need to add a spoiler warning at this point but I will just in case

you, kenma and kuroo have all been friends since you were kids, but you and kenma were the same age (and you were nekoma’s team manager at his request)

you started dating in university after years of pining and lots of teasing from kuroo

obviously when kenma said he wanted to start streaming, you were supportive. it was something he really loved after all, so you knew he’d work hard

and work hard he did

it made you so proud to see what he had accomplished and how far he’d come from when you were kids

and like, that’s a lot of stuff- you were dating a YouTuber, stock trader and the CEO of Bouncing Ball Ltd (his own company)

all of that and he was still in college

like kenma how do you do it 😐

and he always supported you, too, obviously- you never had to doubt that

anyway

you didn’t normally love being in his videos or on his streams, but sometimes you would make an appearance at either his request or his viewers’ 

your presence was especially appreciated on streams where he played horror games

you guys just got so into it and the commentary was hilarious

and the yelling and purposefully scaring each other, too

“what are you doing?!” “what do you mean, I’m running away!” “yeah and leaving me behind, why am I the sacrifice for this monster?!”

no major pda on stream or in videos, but everyone can tell you’re head over heels for each other

whenever kuroo joins in he makes sure to point it out when you lean into kenma a bit more

kenma will either remove him from the call or flick his arm when that happens

one time you were on a work trip or something and you had to be away from him for a bit

so you kept up with everything he did of course, cause you missed him

kuroo helped you surprise him a day earlier than you told kenma you’d be back

so when he’s streaming that day he takes a water break and leaves the stream running

so everyone sees you rushing into the room to sit in his chair

when he comes back he’s surprised but he’s very happy and he gives you he biggest hug, which is like??? the most amount of affection he’s ever shown online

kuroo’s kinda just there

but all in all streaming with kenma is never a dull moment

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

I felt like barfing out my thoughts

Hi, hello, long time no see. This isn’t really any sort of update or anything; like the title says, i just have some thoughts and i want to put them into words lol. And i’m putting it here instead of twitter cuz of the bigger word count fa;ewiofna;e

THIS IS A WHOLEASS JUMBLE OF WORDS THAT DON’T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST SKIP PAST

Anyways, um... i feel like i’m kinda losing the thread on bnha. It doesn’t really have anything to do with how the story is going or anything (though i will admit my focus is stronger whenever there are major moments with aizawa and mic, which,,,, there haven’t been much lately fla;oewfnwai), but more to do with the fact that i’ve been here for 4 years straight, which is,, the longest time i’ve been in one fandom at a time??? i’m super impressed of myself by that, but also?? kinda burnt out and honestly kinda super lonely?

Since finishing my multichap, i’ve actually had a little time to try and catch up on fanart and fanfic i’ve missed, and,, i dunno. none of it’s really getting me; even content that has all the tropes and ships i’m super into hasn’t been really grabbing me. It’s nothing to do with the quality of said works; they’re all well-crafted. Idk i’m just not feeling as enthusiastic as i once did.

Not to mention like 95% of the people who were in the em fandom back when i first joined have all moved onto other fandoms, so a lot of the time it kinda just feels like i’m t-posing and screaming silently in a very big and empty room lol. And this isn’t meant to throw shade at anyone!! I genuinely hope all my mutuals are having the time of their lives with whatever series they devote their attention to. It’s just hard for me to keep being invested in a thing when everyone i know that was there with me have all moved on lol. And then also i feel like i lost a good 2/3s of my audience cuz of my extended hiatus, so that also puts a damper on things.

Ideally, I want to stay with bnha at least until the story concludes. But i’m not sure how long that’s gonna be, and how invested i can keep myself until that point. Right now my focus is being pulled in like 4 or 5 different directions: bnha, OC stuff, real life stuff, and a few other small interests i dabble in every now and again like botw. So it’s been uhhh... tough... to keep one stable thread going rn lol

Now that I’m graduating, I want to try and post more often, i’m just,,,, not sure what i would be posting. Again, ideally, I would love to get some spark for erasermic and rooftop squad stuff. But my brain has just been mush when it comes to coming up with any sort of art/story ideas lately. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like i just can’t come up with any sort of semi-to-fully fleshed out plot anymore. And not even just with fandom stuff, but with original stuff too. Over this past semester, I managed to come up with an original story and characters that i actually kinda like and want to pursue, but i just keep running into these blank spots that, no matter how hard i try, i can’t find a way to fill them in. I can’t bring myself to blame depression for my mental fog, just cuz in the past i was going through a bad depression bout, and that time ended up being the peak of my creativity, so idk what’s really going on with me right now f;aoweifn

I know a good portion of it is probably cuz i restrict how many stories i consume cuz i don’t like the threat of potentially jumping fandoms. I have a whole list of anime recommendations waiting for me and other shows/stories/whatnot that i’ve been passingly interested in, and i hesitate to watch any of them, cuz there’s always that chance i’ll get too invested. Unfortunately, i’m not one of those people who can have a bunch of hyperfixations lying dormant until someone speaks the magic words and suddenly i’m all about it again. The way my dumb brain works is that I have 1 Big interest and a few very small interests. The small interests are basically always there, and i can consume them quickly and briefly without ending up consumed by them. But once that 1 Big interest changes, it takes a lot of time and effort to try and keep up the enthusiasm for that previous Big interest, and often times, it doesn’t work out and i get to the point where i basically don’t want to see anything pertaining to that old Big interest anymore (if that makes,,,,,, any lick of sense at all omfg)

Idk. This is a whole mess and a half of words lol. Guess what i’m trying to lament is my inability to consume new media without fear of it taking over my brain af;oewina. I want to find new stories, I want to expand my horizons, but i always dread the possibility of jumping ship to a different fandom. And I know i know it’s a really stupid thing to be worried about, but idk. I invested a lot of time into bnha, a lot of which got lost when i went on my hiatus, and a part of me is just like “bro you’re not DONE here”, but like,,, brain no worky. And i’m not entirely sure what to do or how to feel lol

TL;DR:

- I’m getting kinda burnt out on bnha but i don’t really know whether to try and hold on or just let go; and if i let go, i don’t know what will happen lol

- i want to try and post more, but i’m not sure what i’ll be posting

- my brain is Big Stupid and it’s frustrating

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

With all the recent VOD asks - and as an interested person in the topic of archiving - how many old VODs have you managed to find? And do you have any tips for finding downloads / archives?

It varies a lot per streamer.

You’ll find a few specific ones on archive (and usually pretty important ones! That’s where I found Karl’s November 16 vod and I think Niki’s birthday party might be there iirc?) 

Maybe I’ll make a proper guide post at some point on how to find ‘em with recommendations for channels, but for now I’ll just make a way-too-long answer to this ask and dump this here for the time being, since I know every time I say “I’ll make a proper post” I never get around to it lol

Okay. So.

You can usually find vods spread out on YouTube over multiple different archive channels. Some, like Fundy and Badboyhalo, have extremely well-organized and thorough unofficial archive channels that have everything laid out super easily. 

Pro tip! Don’t search “Fundy VODs” on YouTube because that will only get you to Fundy’s official channel, which -- no offense to Fundy -- is...lacking...

Instead, search “Fundy stream archive” and you’ll find the comprehensive unofficial channel. Fundy stream archive my beloved -- it has everything. 

It’s a bit of an unfortunate and ironic situation whenever a streamer’s official VODs channel accidentally makes the more extensive unofficial ones harder to find :’)

Others, like Jack Manifold and Tubbo, are more difficult to locate since there aren’t really any single-streamer archive channels that are super extensive (though recently, a new JM one has popped up, so if that one continues it could be a good resource -- it just doesn’t have a lot yet)

(Also I swear if I get ONE more person coming to me because of this post saying that Tubbo has a VODs channel I’m gonna punch a wall /lh)

(I love you all and I know you mean well but akj;ldfshgslka;as;fjkldghtubbopleasegetapropervodschanneliswear)

The Karl Jacobs VOD playlist is now unlisted for whatever reason but still accessible as long as you have a link! (pssst...just gonna slide it here real quick)

Tommy’s first-day Dream SMP VOD got privated for some reason. I luckily had a copy downloaded so I tried uploading it to YT, but it got blocked worldwide :/ So not entirely sure what to do about that. I’ve still got the file at least?

Tommy’s VODs channel is amazing, though, and including the first day VOD I can only think of a couple other VODs that have gone missing due to specific reasons, so you can find Tommy’s POV extremely easily. Same with Quackity, Awesamdude’s VODs channel is great too.

Phil and Techno are both A-ok in the archive game. Techno’s got a playlist that’s easy to find, and Phil's got archives of all his VODs directly on Twitch. No problem finding any of theirs.

Antfrost and Puffy are the only two that I’ve really run into problems finding. A helpful anon let me know that thankfully, Antfrost’s bathwater lore stream VOD is available on archive and it looks like a few others are on there too. More recently I’ve found people who are archiving Puffy’s VODs (thank goodness), but I made sure to start trying to preserve Puffy’s VODs and Ant’s Eggpire lore streams myself from January 14 onwards. I’m not the best at it so the VODs are kinda scuffed, but it’s better than nothing and I’m trying to figure out a good system. They’re currently unlisted rn but if you need a stream link, just lmk

I believe Flypaw? has a bunch of Eret’s old VODs saved, but not sure if they’ve been able to upload them anywhere

Other than that, Eret, Tubbo, and Jack Manifold’s August VODs are pretty much Void Zone unfortunately. I put together one of Eret’s VODs from clips alone and got around an hour of footage recovered, but piecing everything together is extremely time consuming and I haven’t done it for any others since :/

(Tubbo literally put a six-minute clip of one of the most important Disc War VODs from August on his VODs channel but not the actual full thing...

Tubbo...Tubbo why...causing me nothing but Pain :’)

As long as you have the date located, though, you can usually search up the date with the streamer on youtube and find that specific VOD, if it’s not one of the Void Zones. The hardest part is just knowing what date to search for tbh, since stream titles can be kinda vague sometimes.

Which is where the fanbase comes in!

Not just recaps or word-of-mouth, even livetweets on Twitter can help you figure out the specific date that something happened.

Hope this helped some? This is a mess of a post, I’m so so sorry, I just kinda spit this out out of nowhere huh

Anyways, this goes for everyone -- by all means, send me asks n stuff about VODs! I might not be able to find everything or respond to every one, but there’s not really an easy system for finding this stuff, so I don’t mind doing a bit of searching for you all! 

(PS: if anyone knows where you can find Sapnap’s storytime stream, because it’s gone missing yet again...I would be so very grateful)

[wesokkasimp]

general zuko relationship headcanons

-hmm

-so i’m writing these for a post-war relationship

-don’t mind me projecting my crush on firelord!zuko

-this boy def doesn’t ask you out right away

-too nervous for that

-i know i said in my long distance h/c that he would propose right away, but that was for an established relationship

-if y’all aren’t already dating expect to be waiting a lil while

-once things have kinda… settled in the world? like it’s still rather unstable, but at this point most passive aggressiveness between nations is gone

-that’s when zuko would finally take some time for himself and his personal relationships

-if you had left the Fire Nation after the war to do other things, he may have realized he missed you more than the others

-and he missed you in a different way

-with the others he just missed interactions and the good times they had as team avatar

-and he missed that with you too

-but he also just kind of craves your presence

-your scent, your warmth, your touch, your voice

-he could probably sit in a room with you silently all day

-taking in the very essence of you

-because there’s just so much to take in

-when he realizes this, he doesn’t peg it as a crush at first

-zuko’s the guy that can read his friends and loved ones like a book but cannot decode his own feelings for the life of him

-poor kid :(

-he probably just pegs it as knowing you better than the others

-especially if you grew up in the Fire Nation

-ESPECIALLY especially if y’all grew up around each other

-but he starts to question his line of reasoning when you come to visit

-he hasn’t seen you since the southern water tribe drama

-and it’s been two or three years since then

-so you get off… the boat? idk wtf they use for transportation

-he’s waiting at the bottom of the harbor

-he knew when you stepped off the landing and he saw you for the first time in years

-he knew when all it took for him, a very focused person, to become distracted was you paging through a file of things for your work, a furrow in your brow

-when he can normally work through various natural disasters (the Fire Nation is an kind of an archipelago so i assume they get lots of hurricanes/tsunamis and stuff like that)

-THAT was when this boy finally came to his senses and realized he had a thing for you

-but him acting on it? that’s a whooooole different story

-HE’S SO SHY AND NERVOUS OMFG IT’S CUTE

-but it’s also a little annoying at times

-because for years he’s been loud and boisterous with you

-and now that he knows he has a thing for you he doesn’t know how to act

-you don’t catch on tho (thank god for him)

-like you know he’s acting different, but you don’t know why

-he knows you’re gonna figure out what’s going on if he doesn’t fix his behaviour soon

-so he keeps an air of normality around you

-but on the inside he’s still super shy and nervous

-zuko doesn’t have a ton of experience with relationships in general but especially romantic ones

-i don’t think he would’ve gotten with someone after mai broke up with him

-it took him a little bit to get over her, as seen in smoke and shadow

-he’s also a busy guy in general; not tons of time for dates

-iroh may have set up a few dinner dates but nothing substantial has grown from those

-so… in conclusion… king has no idea what the fuck he’s doing

-mai was a pretty special case as she was ridiculously low maintenance and showed zero emotion

-aka exactly like zuko

-i feel like them being so alike was probably one of the reasons their relationship didn’t work out

-like… i’m showing no emotion, you’re showing no emotion, i’m not gonna coax emotions out of you, you’re not gonna coax emotions out of me, we both bottle up anger at each other, ourselves, the world, etc, aaaand cue huge screaming match

-getting off topic whoopz

-since mai was so much like zuko, he had an idea of how to court her

-if he thought something sounded stupid, mai would probably think that too

-but it’s a different story with you

-you might have similarities to zuko but you’re not EXACTLY like him (if you are sorry but i had to make y/ns persona less generic)

-so… romantically? has no clue what the fuck you’re looking for in a relationship

-even if he knows you really well platonically, he thinks that doesn’t translate into romantic relations because he’s clueless ok

-so zuko decides on the subtle approach

-would he confess? no! of course not !!

-but do his touches tend to linger?

-does he let you catch him staring at you?

-is he suddenly very invested in the dating scene wherever you’re living?

-...yes

-and you’re not stupid, you catch on

-and… honestly, there’s no big confession from either of you

-things just sort of evolve on their own

-you end up staying in the Fire Nation a lot longer than you originally planned

-fun excursions that were once platonic turn more and more sensual and flirty

-pats on the back and high fives slowly become back rubs and hand holding

-but... HE STILL HASN’T ASKED YOU OUT

-at this point no one know what the fuck your relationship is

-friends? lovers? fwb? 

-no one can figure it out

-least of all you

-i wish i could make zuko super smooth and have this super romantic confession but that would be so ooc for him

-HE TRIES HIS BEST BUT ROMANCE IS HARD FOR HIM OK >:(

-what probably happened was he took you out to dinner

-and you’re tired of not knowing what you are to him

-so you’re like zuko? what are we to each other?

-and he has been DREADING this question

-he knew it was coming eventually

-and to be honest he’s not quite sure either

-he knows he likes you as more than a friend

-and he’s pretty sure you feel the same way

-so he decides to go out on a limb and speak his mind (finally omfg)

- “More than friends, I think. I mean, I think of you as more than a friend… I think you feel the same way? Or-”

-“Zuko, it’s fine. I like you as more than a friend too, but we don’t have to label ourselves right away.”

-the boy is RELIEVED

-it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders

-he’s not the kind of guy that says “i don’t like labels” as an excuse to fool around

-even though you never really talked about it, it’s a silent agreement that you’re both exclusive

-so… i mean that’s basically dating 

-our boy just has commitment issues ok 😔

-eventually you start kissing him in the cheek

-when i tell you he was FLUSTERED when you did that the first time

-i honestly can’t decide if zuko hates pda or loves it 

-he’s touch starved, so idk if he really craves or is really hesitant to physical contact

-if it’s the former, expect hand holding, cheek/forehead kisses, him wrapping his arm around your waist, etc 

-even if he likes pda he keeps it professional

-if it’s the latter…

-the only consistent pda you’re gonna get is hand holding

-if ANYONE gives you shit for something like your socioeconomic status before you started dating zuko or if you came from somewhere outside the Fire Nation

-he will get annoyed and tell them off as politely as possible 🥰

-as for marriage…

-he wouldn’t really think it out that much if he was trying to decide if he wanted to marry you

-by the time he would be considering marriage, he knows right away that he does in fact want to marry you

-his PROPOSAL, however

-he definitely plans this big thing and then somehow messes it up after practicing it a bunch of times

-you still say yes ofc

-zuko is pretty dedicated to the Fire Nation, so he will most likely follow most traditional aspects of the Fire Lord and Lady’s wedding

-he’d integrate important wedding traditions if your culture if you’re from another nation

-married life would be pretty similar to pre married life

-he just gets to call you his wife now :)))

-so it’s canonical that people try to assassinate zuks

-like ALL the time

-he felt like he could handle it but once you moved in with him he started to become very worried :(

-so he beefed up the security around his quarters. even if you also have training in combat he just wants to sleep a little sounder

-hngh if y’all want kids that can be another post this is already kinda long

-that all folks :)

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AHHHHH HI THESE ARE VERY LATE BUT THEY ARE HERE,,,,, anyways might have to turn off my inbox because,,, uh,,, very angry anti semites and zionists in there rn don’t really feel like getting death threats today