#I’ve been having the funniest dreams lately

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Good morning!

[archivalofsins]

Oh yeah the funniest shit ever-

Mahiru being entirely disinterested in Shidou-

2023/10/24 Shidou's birthday

Mahiru: Shidou-san, you have a family...right? Having family, having children, how does it feel...?

Shidou: ...Yes, it's a wonderful thing. Children are... Well, they're hope itself. When you have children, growing older becomes enjoyable. The more you age, the more your children grow.

Mahiru: Ah...how wonderful. It was my dream to become a bride. It may be a little old-fashioned but, I wanted to make it come true...

Shidou: It's not too late. I will keep you alive, Shiina-kun. Let's get out of here and make that dream come true. ...You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Meanwhile, with Futa-

2024/01/17, Mahiru's birthday

Futa: ......Hey, Mahiru. Are you...doing alright? Isn't there any way you can get better...?

Mahiru: What's wrong, Futa-kun? Yeah, I'm not feeling great... But Shidou-san has been taking care of me all this time. I'm sure if I keep getting treatment like this, I'll get better...

Futa: I see. Continue the treatment, huh... How can you truly be saved, I wonder?

Mahiru: Saved...?? Are you worried about me? ……That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already.

Despite Shidou constantly helping her- She has a more positive response to Futa showing concern for her. When he tries to give encouraging words with an undertone of flirting. Since he said let's get out here and make that dream cone true crickets. Again probably because he's not her type and she's stayed this.

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

You know who's good with kids reportedly liked by Amane? Mahiru. You know who is a good communicator and on good terms with most in the prison? Mahiru. You know who was able to guess that what Shidou said was due to advice from his wife that helped him because he's usually careless when it comes to personal matters- Mahiru!

"Let's get out of here and make that dream come true."

Meanwhike despite that clear come on when Futa shows comcern someone whom she complained about as no good for being a bully. Well, she started really giving-

"I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

Energy if I'm being honest.

"That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already."

Meanwhile, Shidou proposing to start a new family like there's still time. Their are lives that need saving mine. I've accepted I can't bring back the dead but maybe I could just start a new family. Meanwhile, Mahiru is just here like "Sorry, I like reciprocity. I want to receive too. So, no... You're still too thin for me on top of that. Meaning I'm just going to politely ignore your advances." And going I already feel saved just from your concern alone to Futa.

These timelines have so many funny implications.

[st4rwon]

for the 300 event:

glue song x jeongin 💕💕

glue song

jeongin x reader

contains: lots and lots of fluff, light angst, friends to lovers

word count: 1k

a/n: ty so much for the request, this was extremely fun to write! sorry for how long it took i’ve had a lot going on TT hope you enjoy <33

you and jeongin have been by each other's sides since you were in diapers. you don’t think you've ever been apart from him; he was always there for you, during your greatest successes and your failures. the two of you had a special bond, something you have never felt and would never feel with anyone else.

though sometimes you wished that wasn’t the case.

you loved jeongin with your entire heart, and you know he did too; the only difference is that your love was romantic while his was platonic. but how could you stop yourself from having feelings for him? he was the funniest, kindest, and most understanding person you had ever met. but you could never dream of doing anything that would harm the friendship you had with him, so you kept your lips shut.

it was a typical friday afternoon. you and jeongin typically went to a cafe together before heading to your favorite local arcade. you both ordered your usual before sitting down at a small table by the window.

"so anything interesting happen this week?" jeongin asked, tapping his fingers on the table while waiting for your drinks to arrive.

"hm nothing much really, just the usual," you answered, trying to recall anything from your week, but the only thing you could think about was the way that the sunlight landed on jeongin’s frame perfectly.

"what about you?" "well you know that one guy i’m partnered with?" you nodded, remembering his complaints to you "well he finally decided to put in some effort towards the project, but i’m still pissed. i mean, he could’ve put some work in during the start." jeongin huffed. "well at least the project is over now, and i doubt your ever gonna see him again" you said, trying to brighten his mood. "yeah you’re right" he replied, smiling back. you always knew how to make jeongin feel better. he thought about the stressful nights where he would rant to you for hours about how upset he was, but you were always there to comfort him through it all. though you weren’t aware of it, jeongin loved you the same way you did. he had been in love with you for a while, but he only realized it recently.

the worker placed the drinks on the table, snapping jeongin out of his thoughts. he said a quick thank you to the server, pulled your drink towards him, and took a sip. "i still don’t get why you buy this drink; it tastes gross" you giggled at the look of disgust on the boy’s face. "then why do you have to take a sip every time i get it?" "i don’t know, maybe one day it’ll taste good" he answered, but he knew that the words that were coming out of his mouth were false, jeongin knew that the only reason he would even put that concoction drink near his mouth was because he loved to see the smile on your face, followed by the laughs about the expression he made.

after finishing your drinks, the two of you headed to the arcade, which was conveniently just a 3 minute walk away.

once you got there, you got a card and started playing. first,  you started with basketball (where you brutally defeated jeongin), followed by some space invaders.

"jeongin what are you doing? THERE IS ONE AT THE BOTTOM!" you said, frantically trying to kill it, but it was too late. "funny how we’ve been trying to do this for years but have never been able to beat this level" jeongin chuckled.

though the communication between the two of you was great, two-player games were never something you could both do together.

you took turns picking out games to play until both of you wanted to take a break, so you both found a table to sit at.

you thought about all the days you had spent here, it brought you so much joy. "kinda random, but i really enjoy spending time with you" you said, looking up at jeongin, he moved his hands across the table, placing them over yours. "i do too, even if you suck at games" he replied, earning him a playful slap on the side. "though in all honesty, i don’t know what i would do without you, without us. what we have is really special to me" he said, making your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"gosh i love you so much innie" it took him a minute to process your words, there’s no way you meant it in the way he hoped you did.

"do you love me the way i love you?" he mumbled, "what?" you questioned. did you hear that right? "oh uh, never mind" he dismissed "jeongin, do you like me?" you said, tilting your head a bit, "yeah… i do. but if you don’t reciprocate my feelings that fine, i’m sorry if i ruined our relationship-" "innie shut up for two seconds" his eyes opened wide "i like you too stupid, clearly we were both too dumb to see it" you laughed as he shoved you

"you made me so scared" he frowned, you got up from your seat and walked around the table over to him, slowly moving your face towards him before finally placing your lips over his. the kiss was short but sweet, you pulled away and saw the grin on jeongin’s face, "that make you feel better?" you questioned teasingly, "hmm i don’t know" he pondered "i think your gonna have to do it again" jeongin smirked "already hooked on my kisses?" "i missed out on years of kisses, you’re gonna have to make it up now" you giggled at his response, "we’re literally in public you baby, i’ll give you kisses some other time" but before you could pull him to get up so you could both play some more games, jeongin turned you towards him and cupped your face, giving you a small peck before getting up to go find some games to play. "ooh this one looks fun!" he pointed out, still wearing a smirk on his face. you laughed and headed over to where he was.

if you were to be stuck with anyone, you would always choose jeongin.

please don’t spam like posts, repost, translate, or use my work without my permission. all work is fictional and only used for entertainment purposes. © azurez 2023

[apinchofm]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by the lovely @lavellenchanted

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Ooh, 196!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,162,137! A lot of nonsense.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I currently write for Bridgerton, A Discovery of Witches/All Souls Trilogy. Also Merlin, House of the Dragon!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Always give me more!

The Sea and Sky - 506 kudos

That's the kind of love I’ve been dreaming of - 422 kudos

Arranged - 392 kudos

watching you burn - 383 kudos

Sister of the Bride - 333 kudos!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to! I love interacting with readers, and getting comments is always so cool!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably this fic Too Late - in which Miriam and Baldwin are in love but like, her husband is in the way.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have fluffy endings - I'm an optimistic cynic, I like a happy ending. I would probably recommend vowed i would always be yours that I wrote for @lavellenchanted, because it's such a sweet ending and part of a series.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hahahahaha yep.

Funniest hate comment I've received:

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, it varies! I kind of like writing for different couples and I hope my readers like it!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't! I don't know if I would be good at it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of lol. Please let me know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if you want to translate my fic do let me know! I'd want everyone to be able to read my fics.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I really need to.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ooh Arthur and Gwen. One of my first ships and always my favourite.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, I have four lol. I really need to finish the witch!Kate fic.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can put words on paper? I have no clue, I'm not good at recognizing my strengths, I just write things.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh goodness, I forget things, I'm terrible at long descriptions (I always feel like I'm either vague or too descriptive), I edit but will definitely forget something in the edit.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Always do it, I hope I do it well!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Panther! My fine, fine man.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm an insufferable Brit who hates all of her work, so I never have a favourite per se. I did enjoy writing price tag

Tagging/annoying my lovely moots - @waterlilyrose @dreamstone28737 @angel-starbeam @formerlyir @mimix007 @phantomphaeton @orangepeelshortbreadcookies

[dreamsister81]

Fan Alasdair Dickson on seeing Jeff at Rough Trade Records in London March 19, 1994 via his blog alasdairdickson.wordpress.com, December 14, 2017:

When I caught the No.12 Routemaster into town from Camberwell Green, then descended Slam City Skates’ spiral staircase to the Tardis-like Rough Trade shop in its basement, I’d not yet heard any of Buckley’s music, acting solely on a brief but enthusiastic NME review of his set at the New York Music Seminar the previous year. The article mentioned how a frantic-looking Alan McGee had been spotted running around, trying to sign Buckley to Creation Records before his performance had even finished. Three years earlier I’d fallen in love with the music of his father, Tim Buckley, thanks to a landlady who’d left behind a pile of records she didn’t want, including his debut. I’d hopped on that bus fully aware that I didn’t have money for the return journey, so determined was I not to miss this show.

When I reached the bottom of that staircase I was greeted by an apparently comatose, stupidly handsome man standing roughly a metre away, his hands by his sides, a stratocaster hanging from his shoulders and wearing a fashionably oversized Houses of the Holy t-shirt. Taking my place amongst the modestly sized throng of punters, I realised that I was still in daftly close proximity to the performer, although this was quite normal for gigs in that shop. Buckley’s eyes remained closed and he was motionless, his head hanging slightly forward. One of Rough Trade’s familiar staffers came clunking down the metal steps, holding a polystyrene cup of coffee from Neal’s Yard Bakery. Buckley opened his eyes and took a sip, then placed the coffee on the floor. Very gently, he began playing his guitar, except he was playing so quietly that I initially thought he was just tuning up. Eventually, the circular melody he was playing was accompanied by a high, distant hum that slowly grew in volume. I now know this to be the beginning of Mojo Pin but then I had no idea what it might develop into; I certainly didn’t anticipate the extraordinary vocal range he was about to unleash on us all. It was surreal to witness this human statue yawn himself awake with the aid of his music. In retrospect I’ve often wondered if this was all part of the performance (although he did request a second coffee very soon after the first!)

Buckley pretty much played the mini-album he was promoting, Live at Sin-é. I am, however, adamant that the second song he launched into, with its memorably clanging guitar chords, was Grace; five months later I would hear it for only the second time, when he and his band appeared on BBC2’s The Late Show. (It’s worth looking out for the singer’s reaction when Tracey McLeod mentions his father during her introduction.)

What was striking about Buckley’s performance was how funny he was in between songs; his set could have even been viewed as a stand-up comedy gig bookended by music. If he’s to be compared to his father at all, his comic sensibility should be included alongside any musical parallels; just listen to ‘Dream Letter: Tim Buckley Live in London’ and you’ll hear the funniest comedian in town introduce his next song. The tragically early deaths of both singers, and the mythologies that have grown around them since, are in danger of erasing the light and shade that was abundant at their concerts, ditto Nirvana’s frequent larking about onstage. (”I’m a standard lamp!” – Krist Novoselic.)

The Rough Trade show was punctuated by a running stream of banter between an unnamed Melody Maker journalist, his girlfriend and Jeff. Buckley and the scribe traded faux insults with one another, while the singer pretended to flirt with his partner.

Shortly before launching into his cover of The Way Young Lovers Do, Buckley gulped down more coffee and, in his sharp-toned voice, murmured ”Coffee overdose.” The journalist blurted out ”Kurt Cobain”, in gallows humour reference to the painkiller-induced coma the Nirvana singer had survived earlier that month. ”That guy?…”, retorted Buckley, "…Lightweight!” We all laughed. ”No seriously,” he continued, ”I was so shocked, I wanted to call him and say ‘Oh Kurtis!!! I was so worried!!!” (I shall now lapse clumsily into present tense and describe how, at this moment in my recollection, Buckley has grabbed the mic by its stand and is lurching forward and wailing into it, in a camp and melodramatic send-up of himself.)

That was the only time I got to see Jeff Buckley play live. When his death was confirmed in May 1997, I kicked myself for never having seen him with his astonishing band. I should have counted myself lucky that I got to see him at all and in such an intimate setting, despite the 4½ mile walk home. (📷 Nicola Dill)

[hay-389]

Yes, hi, I would very much like to share with you the dream I had last night. Stay with me…

So, I’ve been watching a lot of Avatar The Last Airbender lately, more so The Legend of Korra, and so my dream started off with characters from that show getting up to no good…you know, doing their bending/fighting stuff.

Apparently all it takes is watching one episode of 9-1-1 right before bed last night to combine the two shows.

Tell me why the dream suddenly turned into Maddie being the Avatar, and her and Buck being from another world, where bending was the normal, but it was too dangerous for them to stay so they went through a portal to a new one where I guess the 118 was???

Then suddenly there was like this big bad guy the 118 and like, a bunch of other people were trying to take down but couldn’t. Maddie and Buck are already close with the 118 at this point, but they’ve kept the fact they’re from somewhere else to themselves and no one knows what Maddie can do. She’s the only one who can stop the villain tho, so she steps in between the guy and the 118 and goes I got this…which of course confuses them, so she’s like just have an open mind. (Her and Buck also make eye contact and he knows what she’s about to do and nods.)

She then proceeds to bend air and like totally kicks ass and saves everyone.

Then somehow after, everyone gathers around and Athena approaches Maddie as Athena but also the Queen of Wakanda. (Probably the funniest part about the dream can’t lie.) Maddie’s like worried they all hate her now for lying but Athena and everyone thanks her for saving them and assures her nothing has changed.

And then I just…woke up.

Like…what?

[charlesanthonybruno]

Please talk to us about wine and the domaine Tariquet?! And about your job if you want to? It sounds dope!

Woopsie, late reply, apologies!

All right, I would love to, but the funniest thing about all this is that, yes, I work for a wine estate, but no, I can’t talk to you about wine because I have zero practical or personal experience with it. I have been working there for years now and I *drumroll* ………don’t drink alcohol *applause, crowd cheering*

See, I used to work in hospitality and it was….not great. So, I took a week off and I decided that during that week off I’d find another job. Found an ad for a wine estate looking for someone who spoke english and knew how to spell. It sounded doable, so I applied. I’d never heard of Tariquet before, didn’t know shit about wine, had never worked in an office doing anything sales related, had no clue what the position would entail except what was written in the ad. Went to the interview with an amount of confidence that I have never been able to replicate since and somehow, long story short, got hired and have not been fired yet. And you know what? I love it there.

I started in the administration section of the export sales dpt, had to learn everything from scratch: the job itself and everything related to the making and selling of wine and just. Wine in general. (I like tea and hot chocolate, what can I say.) We also make and sell Bas-Armagnacs, so I had to learn about that too. Am also now working in marketing as part of a team, so more things to learn! (using photoshop and indesign and illustrator as part of my job?? 😍😍😍 hello yes, I am living the dream)

I cannot stress how great it is to find a place that will hire you even though your profile is not at all what they would usually go for, that will give you a chance to try and prove yourself instead of dismissing you out of hand. And I love learning things, so I guess it worked out.

Anyway, it turns out that while I’d never heard of it, Tariquet is actually quite big and famous? Which is hilarious because we are in the middle of nowhere, Gers, south-west France, where you wouldn’t expect anything to be, yet here we are. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely region, nicknamed the Little Tuscany (which, in hindsight, should have been a hint), all rolling hills and open skies, but it’s also one of the only two « départements » of the country with no highway and I don’t have enough hands to count the number of times I got stuck behind a tractor or another kind of agricultural vehicle on the road. It’s very rural. (I love it. the night sky over my house is gorgeous.) So yeah, it is quite big and famous and has wines and Bas-Armagnacs and bees?? so we even make a little bit of honey as well, which is dope. I mean, the estate is in the middle of vineyards and forests and meadows and things, it’s all very green and lovely and so nice. The view from the window of my office is lovely, it’s trees and vines and a part of the castle.

Anyway, um. I’m part of the lucky people who love their job. It is horrendously stressful at times and of course I wish I worked less and spent more time with Marcus (who is getting bored and looking for mischief as I type this. I see you, Marcus) but the work is interesting, my coworkers are great and have come to accept me and my idiosyncracies (there are a lot and they have been a source of issues in the past, so it wasn’t a sure thing), and the general atmosphere is the healthiest I’ve ever encountered in a work place.

…this is a lot longer than I anticipated, i am so sorry.

tl;dr: i couldn’t tell you whether Tariquet wines are good or not but I can tell you that working there is great :D (now I just hope this post won’t show up on any search or google alert or thing like that because if my bosses were to find this dumpster fire of a blog i’d be mortified 😅😅😅)

[anonymous-dentist]

hi you do t gotta answer this btw but I was just wanna what’s gonna happen to your books? like if you’ll delete them or you’ll stop updating? bc you’re one of the best and funniest writers in the fandom and id be devastated if you were gonna stop writing. you don’t have to if you don’t want to , don’t take this as me pressuring you sorry, I just wanted to know.

Here’s what I’m planning as of today, the 18th of October:

I really don’t think I’ll finish any of my wips that include c!Dream. That’s gross. CC!Dream is a piece of shit human being and that’s what I’ll say on that, I’m not even remotely caught up on any of the controversy and, frankly, I don’t need to be.

This is a goodbye to You’re Dead, most likely, among… pretty much every other dsmp fic I’ve ever written. Is it perhaps performative to stop writing dsmp fics because of something horrible the creator did? No, because fuck that guy. I’m extremely attached to my stories and my worlds, but not only do I want to stop supporting him even tangentially, but it would just make me feel gross to even look at his name.

This sucks! But I’ve been thinking about this really hard for the past weekend plus some days, and I’ve decided that, while there is a vast disconnect between character and content creator, it’s truly impossible to separate the two entirely.

Do I still love the characters? Yes! Not even gonna lie, talking about c!karlnapity and the Las Nevadas and Kinoko gangs helped me get through a lot this past year. So as of right now, as you may have noticed, I’m still talking about those characters. I just can’t morally allow myself to write about anything involving that universe at the moment. Until we hear from other content creators if they’re ditching that shitbag or not, I can’t bring myself to write about their characters, as much as that sucks. Plus it is the Dream SMP. Can’t exactly avoid the connotations there, can I?

Not to detract from the victim(s?), but this whole situation sucks for a lot of people. This is a huge community that has been impacted. A lot of talented artists and writers are gonna be gone.

The way I’m seeing it as of right now as I answer this ask in a Starbucks five teas into a book on late-stage Populism is that I’ll finish the two dsmp projects I am obligated to finish. You’ll see my work in those, but from there? I don’t know. We’ll just have to see how it shakes out, I guess.

I am keeping everything up, though! And I’m always willing to talk about my works (Soap has been hearing a Lot about you’re dead recently)! I just don’t think I’ll ever update them again.

That being said, this gives me a chance to work on writing for other fandoms I’ve been avoiding. I wanna write for Empires! I wanna write for Hermitcraft! I’m not done writing, I just can’t work on what… most of my followers know me for. Which sucks. But everything about this situation sucks.

Also I’m working on two original novel concepts I’ve been toying with since 2018 AND I’m actually gonna turn I thiiiiink You’re Dead or my unnamed vigilante au (the one I was gonna post on Friday and never did) into an original piece of fiction, so! That’s cool!

Sorry if this isn’t the answer you wanted, and this is all I’m gonna say on the whole situation. It’s a tough time for a lot of people, and I’m staying well out of the whole situation for personal reasons.

Signed, A.D.

[tommystonsils]

tagged by @westerberg thank u so much!!! 💜💕💖💞💗

1. relationship status: single :(

2. favourite colour: oooh lots!! lavender, forest green, bubblegum pink, and seafoam to name a few!

3. favourite food: I also don’t have a straight answer to this bc i Love Food. Pierogi are a big one, but so is kimchi ramen. Also a rly good hamburger is the way 2 my heart. Oh and I’m a fan of figs. Figs w goat cheese, roasted, w herbs, in jam, YEEEAAAHHH

4. last thing i googled: literally the word seafoam bc “seafoam green”, seafoam is one word and not two……

5. dream trip: listen man i have been trying to plan a trip to minneapolis for like three years now and all sorts of shit always came up and i had to make a whole new plan every time. i love the midwest with my whole heart, if someone asked me “hey we could either go to chicago or italy” bon voy-a-gee i’m taking chicago every time. also i’m supposed to be going to mpls next summer so FINGERS CROSSED. also a huge ireland/scotland/wales trip would be so fun.

6. time: 7:52

7. last book you read: oooh it’s a boring book for school BUT i am currently reading The Hobbit and it’s rapidly becoming one of my favorites ever.

8. last book you enjoyed reading: Lemon Jail by Bill Sullivan. it’s about an hour and a half read, super short, probably some of the funniest Replacements anecdotes and it also gave me an even bigger appreciation for what Bill went on to do after being the mats’ right hand man. I’ve also read this like 5+ times now.

9. last book you hated reading: my case studies textbook for applied learning theory because my professor wrote the book and the structure of the case studies are extremely bloated and the dialogue is comically bad. anyway

10. favourite craft to do: paint + also i have a bedazzler……..

11. most niche dislike: when “new vinyl” comes out and you buy this overpriced reissued record and put it on your record player and it rains rice krispies on your stereo w all them snap crackle pops. stop trying to make new records sound old!!! i have literally had new records skip parts of songs bc the grooves were pressed incorrectly!! i’m not a fan of newer reissued records bc they all have that “we’re trying to make this sound old and beat up for your vintage vibes” thing

12. opinion on circuses now and in history: do not like them. many of them were once human zoos, the whole “freak show” with traveling circuses still happens at state fairs and it’s just rly gross and ableist. not to mention animal abuse which was literally the reason my family Never went to the circus. although i completely agree w @westerberg on ur comment about Paul bc yes!! i rly appreciate stagecraft and the art of show business.

13. do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you ever got lost: sense of direction is REALLY BAD. i live on the east coast (floriduh) so I’ve tried the whole directional thing with looking at where the sun is but nope! worst way i’ve gotten lost was in middle school trying to find a class in a hallway that wrapped around, so I was speed-walking, panicking in a circle for a few minutes after the late bell.

tagging @kelly-jeanne @awesomgrlgr8job @nettys-girl !! c:

** i just realized i numbered this wrong LMAO im fixing it

[alltonguenocheek]

desert-rat poison

Great wide nothingness is a hell of a cradle, all rotting churches, poisoned pipelines, asbestos dusted hair. But still, I find I’m thankful - for roadside daydreams, midnight joyrides, tasting stratosphere. but every flights gotta crash sometime, every up paired with cement sourced cigarette lows. And with my cold hand in yours, we aimed for the best grade in dropping out, dropping bodies, dropping bombs - digging pits as deep as we were able. They found us passed out at the park in the back of your moms car, just cause mine had a bumper held on by duct tape and my driving always scared you. I swear you never gave me enough credit, I’ve been behind that wheel since I was eight. Isn’t it weird how that number haunts us? Eights the count of friends we’ve got who’ve all long gone to rot. Eight coffins lined up like dusted mirrors, drugs and pains and broken brains, I pray we go the same way. I hope they bury us together, since I know that’s how we wanted it. And though this time we slipped by gods grip, we’re all the better for it, heaven wont take damaged goods anyway. The only regret I have is that sunset wasn’t the last. The dying daylight warmed your frostbit lips, glazed eyes cut through me like glass, and right before my eyelids got too heavy to lift, I had the funniest thought: You were pretty enough to snap a picture of and have it fastened to the lid of my casket, I just didn’t have the strength to hold a camera. We can try again if you’d like. Never on purpose of course, neither of us could be that crass. We’d settle into the dirt under that cross on the hill, write wills that say “don’t bother with the blessings, we both know we’re going to hell," but say it’s an accident for our parents sake, when we take one or two too many pills and settle for gutter vows at the wake. Did you know that around my eighth birthday was when I first thought I should be dead? Funny how they put me behind the wheel then, gave me all the tools a kid would need. But that idea never occurred to me, I just dreamed of drive-by shootings, playgrounds painted with undeveloped brains. Somehow, despite our straight A GPAs, we’ve never been smart enough to try to answer the question of life with a trigger pull of our own. So, I guess we’ll learn together. We’ve taught ourselves everything this far, why stop at how to check bodies into the morgue? It’s the kind of library they don’t make cards for, and though there’s no late return fees either, I think we both know we’re long overdue. How about it then? We’ll round the count up to ten, collect dust next to our friends on the shelf. God never bothered to lend us an ear, so that's how we answer our own prayers.

//n.thorne//

[innocencefactoryblog]

NOVEMBER 2023 FILM DIARY

A few days late, but here is my NOV23 film diary!

Welcome to the season of new releases! Bottoms! Anatomy of a Fall! Dream Scenario! How To Have Sex! May December! Saltburn! Woweeeee! I could talk about each and every one of these films, but my two standouts were May December (cos it was great) and Saltburn (cos it was shite). There is not much to say about Saltburn that hasn’t already been said. Film is a game for the rich, and many directors are born into privilege. However, I can think of few directors who throw their lack of empathy at anyone who wasn’t born with a silver camera in their hands back into their audiences' faces like Emerald. It is a distinctly English view of class, a dystopia where class mobility is impossible and where the ultra rich should be in no position to help. The generous rich are punished for being far too nice, and the not even poor are leeches. What would Emerald do if she was faced with a rock and a hard place (50p instant noodles or 50p cup of soup for dinner)? Ah well, at least everyone who thought the peach fucking in Call Me By Your Name was scandalous had a good time. 

What else happened? I FREAKED OUT about having not seen enough films! Literally up in-bed at-night-talking-to-my-partner-at-5AM-about-why-I-haven’t-seen-Citizen-Kane-yet kind of freaked out. I went to a party and all I did was talk about how bad it is that I’ve never seen The Godfather for fucks sake. I’m starting an MA in January, so naturally my imposter syndrome is through the roof. To rectify this, I made a big list of all the films I need to see before I start. Caught right in between Douglas Sirk and Fellini was David Cronenberg’s The Fly. WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING?! I thought to myself. More importantly, why the Hell have I seen eXistenz but not The Fly already this month? I sought to rectify this almost immediately, and luckily The Fly was as fab as I expected. I also finally saw After Hours, Hardcore and There Will Be Blood, all of which were obviously great. 

I ended the month with Evilspeak, a video nasty about a bullied boy in a navy academy who discovers he can contact Satan via dial-up. Now THIS is an internet horror film! It stars Clint Howard, of Gentle Ben, The Waterboy and Ice Cream Man fame, as the poor boy who just can’t catch a break. Even his teachers bully him! Instead of dropping out, he researches black magic online and performs a ritual to conjure Satan, who can enact revenge through the power of the computer screen. Pretty nifty no? Clint Howard wears a toupee throughout, the costs of which were not covered by the film's producers, although surprisingly being the only boy with a hairpiece is not the reason he is bullied at school. AND the founder of the Church of Satan considers Evilspeak to be ‘very satanic’, whatever that means. It’s slow for the first forty minutes, but the final scene is one of my favourite things I’ve seen all year, so seek it out for a fuuun party movie. 

Now it is officially winter, brrrrrr. Staying inside with old films is maybe all that's on the cards for me this month. Gotta write some short stories, gotta get some editing done, gotta send some emails but even buying a train ticket is too much forward planning right now! November was long and exhausting, but now the festive period is just around the corner maybe I can rejoice? Time to dust off that Criterion of the Magnificent Ambersons and mull some wine, Molly Miles you WILL go to the movies!

DIARY 

5th - Hardcore, Paul Schrader, 1979. 

8th - After Hours, Martin Scorsese, 1985. Possibly the funniest film ever made.

8th - Ratatouille, Brad Bird, 2007 (REWATCH). 

9th - Hellzapoppin’, Henry C. Potter, 1941. No more seasonal depression for me! Anarchic fun! 

9th - Night On Earth, Jim Jarmusch, 1992. 

10th - A Former Cult Member Hears Music For The First Time, Kristoffer Borgli, 2020 (SHORT). 

11th - Bottoms, Emma Seligmann, 2023. WHERE IS LESBIAN GREGG ARAKI?! Watched in Rio Cinema.

13th - Anatomy of a Fall, Justine Triet, 2023. Watched in Ritzy Brixton.

14th - eXistenz, David Cronenberg, 1999.  

15th - Dream Scenario, Kristoffer Borgli, 2023. Watched in Ritzy Brixton. 

16th - How To Have Sex, Molly Manning Walker, 2023. Watched in Rio Cinema.

20th - There Will Be Blood, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007. 

20th - The Fly, David Cronenberg, 1986. 

21st - May December, Todd Haynes, 2023. Watched in Rio Cinema. 

26th - Phantom of the Paradise, Brian De Palma, 1974 (REWATCH). 

27th - Saltburn, Emerald Fennell, 2023. Watched in Rio Cinema. 

28th - Birth, Jonathan Glazer, 2004. 

28th - Evilspeak, Eric Weston, 1982.

Favourite First Time Watches: Hellzapoppin’, After Hours, The Fly, There Will Be Blood. 

[ponds-of-ink]

I posted 1,204 times in 2022

861 posts created (72%)

343 posts reblogged (28%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@calcium-cat

@rowan-m-ravenwood

@ponds-of-ink

@burnt-basement-bunny

@partnersatfazbear

I tagged 1,204 of my posts in 2022

#william afton - 267 posts

#reblog - 223 posts

#pond chatters - 157 posts

#fnaf security breach - 137 posts

#scraptrap - 88 posts

#fnaf fandom - 69 posts

#five nights - 67 posts

#glitchtrap - 59 posts

#springtrap - 50 posts

#fnaf 6 - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#(but also something to consider as a “bad ending” for whole scraptrap trying to be a better dad thing i’ve got as a running gag concept)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Considering the animatronics in SL thought Michael was William at one point…

That must mean “I know it was an accident” was referring to Liz getting scooped. And “Isn’t this why you came here? To be with me/her again?” was a guilt trip lure for William, not Michael. Ennard was using lines that could cloud William’s judgment, if things were different.

It could have worked for Michael, if he probably wasn’t trying to figure out what in the world happened in this place. I can actually see him processing things while trying to keep them at bay. Absolutely confused as to what “Liz” is referring to, since she might’ve been too young/wasn’t there during the Bite of ‘83. Then it hits him.

His father wasn’t innocent when it came to robotic accidents either.

122 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#4

Quick OSD… Trashpost?… Storyboard: “Brother Knows Best”

This is inspired by a series of posts by @calcium-cat and friends about the Nightmare and Dream bros unintentionally recreating the plot beats of Disney’s Tangled.

With the last of my braincells, I contribute this to the OSD fandom. Enjoy.

124 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#3

Henry and Will trying to come up with Fredbear and Friends stuff probably was like…

Henry: So, what do we do for a Winter episode?

William: Well, bears hibernate, right?

Henry, shrugging: Sure.

William: But rabbits don’t.

Henry: That’s what you told me, Mr. Bunny Expert.

William: I know that, you know that… But does Spring-Bonnie?

Henry: …Where are you going with this, Will?

William: Spring-Bonnie tries to hibernate because of Fredbear going away for the season.

Henry, while facts rush through his head: I can’t tell if that‘s the most genius idea you’ve ever had or the stupidest.

126 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

William Afton knowing some ‘80s slang but refusing to say it is the funniest headcanon to me. Like, he’s proper and calm most of the time, trying to either save his voice or remain ominous. Then, when he gets lost in the vents as Scraptrap, six words come roaring through the entire maze:

“OH, GAG ME WITH A SPOON!”

Needless to say, everyone else is stunned. Especially Michael, since I’m pretty sure he was raised on not using many of those phrases.

324 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wanna sleep, but I can’t. find. a specific PM Seymour. Late Night Tumblr Clip.

It’s been like this for two days now (I think). I even know how it even goes and (maybe) the post read right before it. The only thing that’s stopping me is not remembering the title of the video.

452 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[skernerd]

Waking From Dreams

is there a part of you that hates me still

and how big of a part of you is it

is there a part of you that loves me still

after all this time

like i think

and how big of a part of you is it

i spent eons in love with you

lifetimes

i feel we were a soul connection of sorts

i burned the cord

broke that bond between us

your flame raged against the breakage

i wonder if i mixed the candles up

and there’s a seventeen year old in my head

who never ages

but she loves you as you do

as you grow older, 24,

she’s always seventeen,

groin sore,

staring like a goldfish out

your truck window.

she thinks about you, all the time. she lives with you, sometimes. she has the life you envisioned for us.

it’s jarring to come back to normalcy

to someone who loves me and shows me what love truly is

shows me the flowers growing in the

what you called broken bits

makes me dinner

you told me to move on.

that’s the funniest of it all. move on?

move on? a beautiful tragedy. a beautiful— what did you call me?

you always found a way to uproot me.

how long had you been planning that,

that question?

can’t let it show how much it hurt me,

can never show you until it’s too late,

can never let you win.

hitting me where it hurts,

and you didn’t even take my girlhood—

you wanted to take her away. make her yours. i can’t blame you. you’re lonely.

i’m lonely too. all the time.

the loneliness never goes away

no matter how many people are in the room,

you and i got that. the autism, i think.

did you know? or am i telling you now, for the first time?

years ago these poems about you,

and there are easily hundreds now,

i’d imagine,

turned into letters to you.

conversations to you,

the things i’d scream at you. the things i

have words to say now.

i wonder if you ever read them.

you always wanted me to write about you.

let me know. i do wonder.

i have everything i’ve ever wanted, now,

but call it an academic pursuit.

post mortem.

a “where are they now” segment.

you’re now the lore of my life,

like i know i am yours—

that’s something i always had over other bitches.

being someone’s first is something you

can never take back.

i learned that the hard way.

you said we weren’t really engaged—

and maybe i am delusional.

maybe i am the crazy one.

does that make you feel better? i’ve thought about it. spent months and years hating myself for it. taking pills to make the soul crushing guilt go away.

i’m 2.75 years sober now. by the by.

over 2 years since i’ve self harmed, too,

and almost 11 months into recovery from

the latest bout of my eating disorder.

by the by. in case you wonder.

what’s the point of keeping my socials private? if i’m hiding from you?

maybe it’s not just you anymore.

there’s more ghosts than just you,

more monsters than you,

under my bed and in my closets

and in my hallways and mirrors

and bathtubs and hotels and cars and

parking lots, i am a shell of a ghost now,

and does that give you satisfaction?

you always thought i was doing

so much better than you

and maybe i am, but maybe you are,

maybe you are. maybe you are. i’ve thought about that too.

everything you’ve thought, i’ve thought.

i see you in my dreams, even still.

i wake up gasping for air.

the seventeen year old inside of me

the girl who’s everything you ever wanted

me to be,

she wants to let you know,

she understands, and forgives you. hopes you the best, under all of this. hopes to see you in the grocery store one day.

i have to protect her. i’m sorry. i can’t let her see you. i’m sorry.

[jupitermelichios]

So I’ve been playing a lot of skyrim lately, because it’s video game comfort food, and I decided it was time for my Redguard Dovahkiin to settle down. (Actually I specifically just wanted to be able to adopt some of the random orphans you meet because I felt guilty about them, but you need to be married before you can do that so that there’s someone at home to take care of the kids while you’re off galivanting).

So I travelled around a bit, chatting up likely looking npcs until I found one I both liked and didn’t feel guilty about marrying (I feel bad if I marry one of the warrior adventurer types, making them be a stay at home mum) and settled on an obnoxiously cheerful argonian called Shavee because her life was frankly shit, and I thought she’d probably be good with kids.

So off I go to Riften to the Temple of Mara to arrange the wedding. I book it in for the next day, realise I didn’t bring anything nice to wear, and spend the night before the wedding robbing every house in the city in the search for something to wear. Eventually decide everyone in Riften has terrible fashion sense and break down everything I stole into raw materials and use them to craft myself an outfit and some jewellery that i’m pretty happy with. I even carefully pick out my fanciest looking sword to wear.

(don’t know why I bothered, frankly, shavee turned up wearing a shirt covered in suspicious stains and weilding a pickaxe, it’s like she doesn’t even care about this marriage)

(also for comedy purposes, bear in mind I play with survival mods that mean my character needs to eat and sleep to live, and I literally spent the entire ingame night on this and forgot to eat and drink anything either and then just downed four bowls of wolf stew right before entering the temple so I didn’t starve during the ceremony. also I discovered during the wedding that I am dying of rockjoint, which I contracted from sleeping in a pile of hay on the floor of a skeever infested cave, so even being six foot tall and jacked can’t make up for the fact that I am exhausted, running a fever, and probably covered in wolf which I spilled because my joints are slowly atrophying, and even the fanciest clothes in the world aren’t going to cover that up)

so I enter the temple, and my finance is there, and Lydia my housecarl, and some random NPCs the game thinks are my friends because I did fetch quests for them

One of the random NPCs is Lisbet. Atfter I did her fetch quest, I then did another quest in which I discovered Lisbet is secretly a cannibal and part of a demonic cult that worships the daedric prince of decay by kidnapping priests, sacrificing them, and then eating their corpses. Raw. I think the raw meat is the sticking point for me here honestly.

I ultimately decided not to sacrifice the random priest to a daedric prince in exchange for one magic ring and all the raw human I could eat, because frankly, that doesn’t sound like much of a deal to me. I was expecting there to be some kind of dialogue choice where I could nope out at the last minute, but it turns out there isn’t one, so after they drugged the priest and tied him to the altar, I just got out my sword and started swinging.

I killed most of the cult (including the town butcher, because I had brought meat from him before and was extremely pissed off that he might have been secretly feeding me humans) but a couple of them got away, which I figured was fine because they weren’t trying to kill me.

Except it turns out, if any of them escape, then every time you see them in the future there’s a random chance that they’ll fly into a violent rage and try and murder you.

Lisbet is at my wedding. Lisbet decides that clearly me marrying this random argonian woman with two lines of dialogue is the happiest day of my life, and she cannot allow me that happiness, when I’ve taken so much from her.

So she tries to kill me. Only she can’t, because I’m stuck in a pre-rendered wedding animation, and also she’s sitting next to Lydia, my faithful retainer and owner of a really big axe.

It also turns out that Lisbet is essential, meaning she can be knocked unconcious but not actually killed because she’s needed for some quest or other. And the minute she wakes up from unconciousness, she tries to kill me again, so Lydia knocks her unconcious again, and I’m stuck, I can’t move, because I’m supposed to be in the wedding animation.

Except Shavee has, not unreasonably, see all this and decided that she doesn’t like me enough to risk getting murdered, and has done a runner, leaving me at the altar, but more importantly, leaving me trapped in a broken pre-rendered animation, so all I can do is stand there at the altar, staring at the space where my fiance was supposed to be, listening to the sounds of Lydia trying and failing to beat a cannibal to death behind me.

Okay, I think, clearly this wedding isn’t going to happen, I’m going to go for the registry office option and complete the wedding using the dev commands. I do this. The priest gives me a wedding ring, and I can finally move again. I chase after Shavee, who has an impressive turn of speed on her, and eventually catch up right by the city gates. I try to talk to her.

Apparently using the console has completed the wedding for me, but not for her, because she still only has the same 2 lines of dialogue she usually has.

Clearly this is working, I can’t leave my kids with someone who can only say 2 things and doesn’t even know she’s their mum, that’s irresponsible.

I try loading from inside the temple. I get the same problem.

Eventually I figure out that I need to use the dev controls to disable Lisbet’s entire existence in the universe.

Shavee and me get married. As the priest reads the vows, I stare at Shavee and wonder why she couldn’t even be bothered to put on a clean shirt. I wonder what kind of mother she’ll be.

Once the ceremony is over, and I’m happily married to the dirty green lizard of my dreams, and we’ve agreed that until I can make her recognise my extremely nice modded house exists I will share her single bed in the unheated flophouse in Windhelm she calls home, I re-enable Lisbet, because I’m worried I’ll forget if I leave it too long.

Fun fact about skyrim, it loads in quite a lot of npcs and objects by dropping them from the sky. I have no idea why this is the case, but it’s objectively the funniest way to load in objects.

I re-enable Lisbet. She falls from the sky, clips through the roof of the temple, and lands in the pew beside Lydia, stands up, draws a knife, and is immedately beaten unconcious.

I no longer care, because Shavee now has all the exciting new spouse-only romantic dialogue options like “Could you cook something for me” and “have you made any money lately”, and I know she’ll be a great mother.

I limp to the door of the temple, while around me the guests not involved in the Lydia-Lisbet murder cycle scream and duck for cover.

I open the door to the temple, immediately collapse and ragdoll down the steps, which is how I discover I am dying of rockjoint.

I limp to the orphanage down the street, adopt two kids, and then finally remember that I’m carrying garlic bread, which as we all know, cures all known illnesses.

When I emerge back into the street, full of the joys of motherhood and garlic bread, I find the town in disaray. Lydia is chasing Lisbet through the streets with an axe and a dragon is circling overhead, burning npcs to death. People are running for shelter, screaming, while the guards try to take down an entire dragon using only the worst bows and arrows in the game.

I decide that as a parent, I have to think of my own safety first and leave them to it.

I head out of the city, intent on returning home and figuring out why Shavee refuses to move in with me. A man hanging around the stables challenges me to a boxing match. For want of anything better to do, I agree.

Halfway through the fight he dodges at the wrong moment and I punch one of his horses in the head.

Two guards attack me while I desperately try to surrender. My kids will miss me, but I’m prepared to go to jail for my horse crimes, I’m an honest citizen. Also my horse crimes seem somewhat less important than the dragon.

The guards refuse to accept my surrender. I am stabbed to death. As I collapse in front of the indifferent horse, Lisbet exits the city, followed by Lydia. The last thing I see before I die is Lydia swinging her axe at Lisbet’s face.

[runwithwolvcs]

Right Where You Left Me

Part Five: Wildest Dreams

No Warnings

“You coming to Gracies party tonight?” I hear the familiar voice from behind as he places his hand on the small of my back.

“Nope.”

“Come on, live a little.” Paul teases.

Rolling my eyes, I tell him, “I have to watch my sister.” 

“Bring her.”

“Shes thirteen.” I remind him, even if she was older I wouldn’t bring her. Gracies parties were always full of booze and drugs and I am not going to be the one to enable my sister in teen drinking.

“Right.” Paul nodded, before asking “How long are your parents going to be out for, maybe you can come later?”

“They’re in Seattle for the weekend.” I shut my locker, turning to face him, “Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah, lets talk about how good you look in these jeans,” Pulling me against him by the belt loops

“We’re at school.” I whisper harshly, gripping his wrists to stop them from traveling anywhere else. Though we were currently the only ones in the hall, the bell was due to ring any moment and the halls would be flooded with students. I’d rather not be known as one of Pauls conquests.

“So? I know a place.” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses along my neck.

“Of course you do.” Removing myself from him as the bell rang, “See ya tomorrow.”

“Tonight?”

“I told you--”

“My window, I won’t be late. I promise.” The boyish grin he wore so well appearing on his face as he cut me off.

“See you tonight,” I say, shaking my head laughing as I continue to my next class.

Spending the night with Delta was, in my opinion, better than any party Gracie has ever had. We may be four years apart but she is wise beyond her years, and the funniest person I know. We baked cupcakes for our mom, although I know my dad and I would be eating most of them to make it look like she could stomach them, but I don’t mind. My sister loves baking, so I supervise and let her be a kid. She deserves it.

My phone dings, signalling a text message and I see its from Tessa.

I open her text, reading quickly, “Paul and Rachel are all over eachother tonight. Get tested, babes.”

I can’t say I’m  surprised, only a little disappointed. They saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks plagues my mind.

Silencing my phone, I clean up the rest of our mess before heading to bed myself.

It’s not long before I hear him knocking on my window, but I ignore it, hoping he thinks I’ve fallen asleep. The knocks get louder and I can’t have him waking up Delta over this nonsense.

I hurry to the window and open the curtains, then the window. Crossing my arms over my chest, “What?”

“I sent you a text.” Is the first thing Paul tells me. His shirt is off and showing off the muscles he’s gained from soccer. His tan, smooth skin looks warm and inviting but I know he just had Rachel under him, and I’m not gonna be his sloppy seconds of the night. Even if he’s wearing those damn grey sweatpants that make me swoon.

“I know.” I admit, I read it. Then swiftly deleted it.

“Coming?” Gesturing to his room, with a smile. 

“Nah.”

“Seriously?” Paul asked, shocked written all over his face.

“Seriously.” I mock him, “What? I just figured you’ve gotten your fill with Rachel.”

“We kissed once. Well, more than once.” His excuse was terrible, but we’re not together so I can’t be mad. I know that. “But I didn’t fuck her, so it’s no big deal.”

“You should’ve because you’re not fucking me again.” But maybe I can hold a grudge.

“Baby..” Paul says, and I know theres not point arguing with him about this. Only a drunk Paul would call me baby.

“And you’re drunk and wont remember this in the morning, goodnight.”

“I am drunk” he confirmed with a lopsided grin, “But all I’m saying is that if you were at the party it would have been you, and not Rachel.”

I open and close my mouth, speechless. It was if the wind had been knocked out of me.

Oh, I’m sorry I had to take care of my little sister while our moms away in Seattle getting treatment for a cancer that is going to kill her sooner, rather than later, I wanted to say. 

But I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to.

“Go to bed, Paul.,” I quietly say, moving to shut my window.

“Wait, wait, I didn’t.. Fuck…” Reaching over and holding the bottom of my window to keep me from shutting it. I wanted to laugh, or maybe cry.

I think a lot about what my life would  be like if my mom hadn’t gotten sick. Would I have been at Gracies party with Paul? Would I even have taken him up on his original offer and gotten in to his truck that very first day? 

My dads not particularly fond of him or his father, not that I have any idea why. They seem like every other family in La Push.

“I’ll see you Tuesday, at our tutoring session.” I move his hand and slam my window shut, closing the curtains quickly.

I turn to shut off the lamp by my window and see a flash of red out of the corner of my eye, gasping I turn in the direction it was in. The room suddenly feels frosty and the eerie feeling of the darkened forest becomes me. I don’t see anything, I furrow my brows.

I take a step forward, and the another, the air around me gives me goosebumps.

I notice the book I had left on my bed was now on the side table. I didn’t put it there.

The feeling of a hand gripping my shoulder painfully, it felt like stone as it turns me to face them and I can’t help but gasp at the wicked grin I see before me.

I open my mouth to scream for help but nothing comes out as it lurches towards me and I--

I sit up covered in sweat as I gasp for air, shaking as I look around my room in the dark for whatever the hell I had just dreamt about. 

No red hair.

No pale skin.

No wicked grin.

I’ve never felt such relief in knowing I was all alone. I kick my covers off of me and rush to turn on every single light in my room, making sure there was nothing lurking in the shadows.

The red numbers of my alarm clock read, 4:28 in the morning. Not bad. Only three more hours until I need to get ready for school.

I can’t sit still, the antsy energy stemming from the anxiety of my nightmare has me pacing my room, looking over my shoulder just in case.

Jumping as a flick of light catches my eye, but it’s just from Paul’s room next door. I can’t tell if he’s just gotten home, or if hes waking up for whatever Sam’s got for him today. It’s been two weeks since I watched him run into the woods. He’d kept his word, leaving me alone.

My feet drift me towards the window, I want to feel what I felt in his arms in the woods. The sense of security was one I had never felt before in my life.

But I can’t bring myself to open the curtains, let alone the window.

---

The day dragged on longer than any boring movie Delta had made me sit through and all I could think about was my nightmare. I spent the entire day looking over my shoulder as if whatever it was would snatch me before I could scream. 

The last bell rang and I practically ran to my locker, tugging the lock off of it and ripping the door open.

A book, that I did not leave there sat with a note attached to it. The anxiety of this morning creeping back into my mind.

Picking up the note, I held my breath as I read, 

I know how much you love history, enjoy it.

Tu lobo 

“Your wolf? Who's that from?”

“Not sure.” I say quickly, stuffing the note in my bag. I turn to see Jacob grinning at me.

“You coming over afterschool today?” He asks, leaning against the locker beside mine.

“Can’t.” Shutting the door to my locker, “It’s Friday.”

“Right, sorry. I forgot you spend Fridays with your sister.” Jacob says gingerly and I’m glad he’s never pushed back on how I spend my time. He gets it, I guess.

“All good. Monday, maybe?” I suggest with a smile. The bikes were almost done and I had to admit, I was excited to see if they would actually work. I didn’t doubt Jacobs ability, but they were basically scrap metal the first time I saw them.

He nods enthusiastically, “ Yeah, maybe we can take my dads old bike for a spin if the weathers nice.”

“I don’t think three people would fit on one bike.” I tease him. I had gotten use to being the third wheel to Bella Swan. I didn’t mind it. It was a non-committal situation.

“I was thinking, just you and me.” Jacob avoided  my gaze, rubbing his arm nervously. I wasn’t sure if this was a pity thing, or a Jacob thing. Nonetheless I agreed.

“See you Monday, Jake.” I said, giving him a side hug before heading off to the freshman wing to find Delta. 

I find Leah Clearwater outside before I find my sister and stop to give her a giant hug, 

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, where the hell have you been?”

She laughs and returns the hug, “Says you. Jacob Black, huh? Guess it’s better than Paul.”

Letting her go, I shake my head, my hair flying around dramatically, “No, no, no. We are just friends. Thats it.”

“Mhmm. Said that about Sam’s lackey as well. Then you called me crying.”

“Speaking of Sam,” I change the subject, “ I was at his house--”

“What?!”

“Let me finish.” I whine. “Paul asked me to hangout and I thought I’d give him a second chance and thats where he brought me. I don’t know what you ever saw in Sam, he gave me the creeps.”

“First of all, why would you agree to hang out with him knowing he’s in a gang?” I cringe at her question, but she continues, softly saying, “Sam wasn’t always like that.

I give her an empathetic smile, now more than ever do I understand the complexity of what happened between Leah and Sam.

“Can I go to Seths tonight? It’s Friday.”  I hear from behind me, turning I see a smiley Delta, though Seth wasn’t with her.

“Did you and Sue have plans to bake something? I feel like you’re trying to make me fat with all these baked goods you keep bringing home” I joke and she giggles. My smile brightens at the sound.

“No, Seth wants to show me this new video game he got.”

“Oh. Seth, huh?” I tease and I can hear Leah hold in her snicker. We’ve talked so much about how they were going to end up together at some point, and it looks like that point is now.

“Paul, huh?” she mimics and my eyes widen as I turn to look at Leah who let out a genuine laugh.

“Seth overheard you and Leah gossiping one night. Is he really in a gang with Sam Uley?” She asks quietly, but I don’t answer her question, only giving her one of my own.

“How much homework do you have?”

“He hecho mi tarea.” Delta says in Spanish.

I raise my eyebrow at her, Spanish was not a class I had ever enjoyed and as soon as I could drop it, I did. Delta clarifies that she has already done her homework just as Seth approaches our little group. I agree to let her go, telling her if she’s staying the night she needs to let me know before ten o’clock.

“You two go, I’ll catch up.” Leah tells the two younger teens head towards the carpark.

“Now my sister thinks I’m into a gang member.” I say grimly, that’s the last thing I want her to worry about.

“You kinda are.”

“Leah.” I whine, shoving her playful away from me.

“Its the truth!” She laughs.

“I’m just worried about him. He said he would never join Sam.”

“I think you’re the only person who didn’t see this coming, the fact that you even let him in between your legs was shocking to me. The kids got a temper and its even worse now.” she reprimands like a mother. I never saw that side of him though, but we never hung out outside of study room or his bedroom, there was really no reason for him to get angry.

“Pauls temper isn’t that bad.” I try and defend.

“He beat the shit out of his bestfriend.” Grimacing at the reminder that he only did that because Shiloh was saying things about me.

“Well I’ve told him to leave me alone, I just have to return something to him.” The book that had been left in my locker belonged to him, I know it did. Who else would give me a book on wolves?

“Return something, uh huh.” Leah says with a cheeky grin.

“I do, he gave me this book about wolves. I dont want it.” I explain, but she clearly doesn’t believe me.

“I dont care if the sex is mindblowingly good, Kia, don’t let him in again. You’re smarter than that.” Shes not joking this time and I nod in agreeance, if one of my bestfriends is telling me to stay away, I’m going to listen.

Right after I return the book.

[elizabethsaige]

Not So Subtle

Request: Reader x Flo where they're in a movie together and fans have been editing them staring at each other when in interviews and they go to Ellen for an interview and Ellen shows them a compilation of those videos pls :)

Florence Pugh x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: I swapped Ellen for Jimmy Fallon because I don’t like Ellen, but I hope you still like it!!

*gif not mine

“I found another tweet today while getting ready, it said ‘if i don’t get a girlfriend that looks at me the way y/n looks at florence, i’ll puke’, how funny is that?” You and Florence were minutes away from going on to The Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon to promote your new film together.

Throughout filming, you and Flo have gotten closer the more you worked together. Spending 12-16 hours a day has forced you two to constantly be in each other's company and it’s not like you’re complaining. Florence is genuinely the coolest, funniest, most dedicated actor you’ve had the chance to work with, not to mention, she’s extremely beautiful.

And Florence has grown to be so attached to you. You’d always find her touching some part of your body every time the cameras weren’t rolling, whether it was her hugging you or holding onto your arm. Even in the trailers, Flo insisted on cuddling during every single movie night you two had, on the rare occasion you didn’t have to be working late into the night.

It was inevitable that one of you would catch feelings for the other. In this case, you had developed quite the crush on your costar, even though you have a strict rule against it. There’s just something about Florence that makes you want to break all of your rules and boundaries.

It’s no wonder fans started to notice the connection, it’s not like you guys were subtle about it. There were many many videos on the web like interviews and behind-the-scenes videos showing the way you two interact. It was no doubt that someone would eventually figure out you two had developed crushes.

You also weren’t great at picking up on all of Flo’s subtle yet not-so-subtle hints about her feelings for you. The way she looked at you when you talked, casually glancing at your lips every few seconds. She looked at you like you were the most perfect person, she was in awe of you. Every time you’d make a joke, she’d laugh and grab your hand, which you made no effort to let go of, not helping the rumors that were floating around.

“I swear I find new ones every day, these fans really can’t get enough,” Florence replied, shaking her hands to ease the nerves she was feeling. Noticing, you grabbed her hand and gave it a tight squeeze before the man behind the stage was signaling for you two to get ready.

“-and here to promote their new movie, I welcome Florence Pugh and Y/N Y/L/N!”

The pair of you walked out onto the stage, blinded by the lights pointing at you, seeing many people in the audience, clapping. Jimmy Fallon was getting out of his seat to greet you guys, embracing each of you before all three of you took your seats.

“Girls, it’s such a pleasure to have you on the show,” Jimmy said as the clapping died down.

“The pleasure is all ours, we couldn’t wait to come out here to promote the movie,” Florence replied, looking out into the audience and flashing her dazzling smile.

“The movie was absolutely fantastic, the chemistry you two have is so amazing. What was it like working together on this project?” Jimmy looked between the two of you to see who was going to answer.

Looking at him and then Florence, you decided to speak first. “Honestly, it was a dream come true, I’ve wanted to work with Florence since I saw her in the show Marcella. I think she’s such a fantastic actress, so dedicated and brilliant in everything she does. And she’s an expert cuddler.”

Florence looked at you, squinting her eyes and shaking her head at you.

“You’re too kind, really. She’s the one that’s the brilliant actress, let me tell you I learned so much about acting from this one, she doesn’t give herself enough credit,” Florence responded, patting you on the arm. A smile formed on your lips as you looked away, making sure neither of them saw the blush creeping up on your cheeks.

“Well, I know the fans really loved seeing you two on screen together, so much that a lot of them have noticed the chemistry you two have off set. What was that like, did you guys become close friends off set as well?”

You and Florence both looked at each other and chuckled.

“Oh yes, we became very close while shooting this film. At one point Y/N had to take a few days off of filming because she became very ill after filming one scene in particular and the whole 3 days she was gone, I felt like I was missing my other half, it was crazy,” Florence explained. You nodded, laughing at the memory.

“I kid you not, I received a call from Florence every 2 hours, she’d blow up my phone with text messages while I’d be trying to rest, saying how much she misses me. I got very little sleep because of her constant texts and calls.” Florence looked at you and shrugged, “What can I say? I needed you.”

Jimmy laughed, along with the crowd. “Well it sounds like you two created a relationship that will last for a long time. Now, we have a video here that was sent in to us from one of your fans, I think her name is Samantha. It appears to be some sort of compilation of the two of you during different interviews where you seem to be acting a little more than ‘just friends’. We’re going to play and see if you two can debunk these clips for us,” Jimmy said as he hit a button on the remote in his hand.

A compilation of clips from various interviews and videos from the internet showed up on the screen, many of which you and Florence are shown to be staring at each other as the other is talking, looking totally in love. A few show how affectionate Florence is, set on the set of the movie from behind-the-scenes videos that got leaked.

As you watched, you could feel Florence stealing glances of you, causing you to blush a little. This would definitely end up on one of these compilation videos.

As the video came to an end, the audience erupted in cheers and hollers, making you and Florence smile, hanging both of your heads in embarrassment.

Jimmy quieted the audience and looked back at you two. “So? What did you think of this cute video?”

No words came out of your mouth so Florence spoke up. “It’s no surprise to us that this video exists, we find tweets about our relationship all the time. It’s just a little confusing to me how so many people out there can realize the hints that I’ve been throwing at Y/N, but she can’t even see them.” You snapped your head in her direction, staring right into her eyes.

“Oh wow, so you’re saying you have feelings for Y/N? That’s amazing!”

You shook your head and chuckled a little, turning to face Florence. “Are you serious?” She gave you a little nod and turned back to Jimmy.

“Yeah, it’s crazy. I never met someone that I connected to so much in such a short period of time, but Y/N just gets me. And she’s fun to be around and has the kindest heart. She’s my comfort person,” Florence explained, looking between you, Jimmy, and the audience. The crowd broke out into applause as tears filled your eyes.

Careful not to let them slip, you blinked them back and looked away from Flo, knowing you’d start crying if you looked at her. But a smile was permanently planted on your face.

Jimmy turned to you to get your attention. “Y/N, how do you feel about this? Is this really the first time you’re finding out?” You nodded and smiled, careful not to show your excitement too much.

“Yeah, this is genuinely the first I’m hearing about this. I mean, I know how we act when we’re together, I just never knew that my feelings for Flo were being reciprocated,” you said. “I just kind of thought it was one sided.”

Flo looked at you with a shake of her head as she grabbed your hand and gave you a tight squeeze back, like you did to her before the show. Once again, the audience was on their feet, clapping and cheering for the two of you. Jimmy rose to his feet and clapped along with them.

“There you have it folks, a budding romance between Florence and Y/N! Ladies, it was incredible to have you on the show, everyone at home, watch the movie, it’s great I swear you’ll love it. Goodnight everyone!” You and Flo made your way to hug Jimmy one last time before making your way backstage.

Once you were out of the view from cameras and the audience, you grabbed Florence by the arms and spun her so she was looking at you.

“Did you mean what you said out there?” She giggled and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a big hug.

“Of course I did, Y/N. You really are my favorite person, I just wish you would have noticed sooner how I felt, I’ve only been hinting at it for 3 months,” she replied, rubbing your back and letting go of you.

“Yeah, I wish I did too,” you said as you pulled her in for a kiss, grabbing her back by the waist. Man, if only the cameras would have caught that.