#I’ve been listening to this song for the past 2 hrs

[vivaladarwin]

sweet honey buckin tho 🤌🏽

[specialagentsergio]

only if you knew

summary: Spencer’s in love with you, but you’re in love with Emily.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: description of a panic attack, mentions of bullying and homophobia, swearing

a/n: my take on a fic inspired by heather by conan grey. writing is a hobby i've had for years, but this is the first time i've posted any of it. i hope you enjoy it.

a/n 2: bi!reader, fem!reader bc emily is a lesbian

word count: 3.5k

song: heather by conan grey

series masterlist || masterlist

Spencer isn’t looking for a relationship when he meets you. He wants a relationship someday, but he likes his life the way it is for now. He doesn’t want it to change yet. He thinks that’s why it took him so long to realize he was in love with you.

You join the team a few weeks after Rossi does. Hotch has been wanting to add another profiler to the unit for a while. The fiasco with Gideon’s loss of Sarah and subsequent disappearance, then Emily’s sudden resignation, finally convinces the board that it might not be a bad idea to have more than five profilers on the team.

Morgan and Hotch already know you. You come from the sex crimes unit, and the BAU had worked a case with them a month before he joined. You were just an agent trainee at the time, but Hotch saw promise in you, and has kept an eye on your work ever since. (Spencer wonders how he never ran into you at the academy; you’re only a year older than him and you both joined the Bureau in 2003. Eventually he realizes it’s because you weren’t remediated.)

Despite an awkward introduction (he gives you his spiel about handshakes and how it’s safer to kiss, and you respond with, well, if you insist, prompting laughter from Morgan and Prentiss, and leaving him at a loss for words as his face turns red), you quickly become friends. Your mutual love of reading is how you initially connect. Then he notices you only ever cut off his infodumping when you’re working on a case, and it’s always with a gentle, “redirect, Spence.” Outside of work, you seem genuinely interested in what he has to say, even going so far as to follow up on things you had to interrupt earlier.

You also bond over your shared love of Doctor Who, and begin to join him at Penelope’s place each time a new episode airs. It’s not long before he considers you his best friend.

Spencer tells you things he rarely puts a voice to. He tells you about his kidnapping and subsequent Dilaudid problem (he still struggles to call it what he knows it was—an addiction) after the South Padre Island case, when he doesn’t pick up on Adam’s dissociative identity disorder until it’s just a bit too late.

On the one year anniversary of his solving of the Riley Jenkins case, he recounts what happened the day his dad left in a wavering voice and you run your hand up and down his back when he cries.

He even tells you about the goalpost incident and the real motivation behind that act of bullying, a detail he omitted when he told Morgan about it. (He didn’t have a crush on Alexa Lisben, the prettiest girl in school. He had a poorly concealed crush on the football team’s quarterback.)

You also open up to him in a way you seldom do to anyone. You tell him about the bullying you experienced in high school over your shared sexuality. You tell him about the worst cases you saw in the sex crimes unit, and on a day when you’re struggling, you tell him what the worst day of your life was.

He’s had great friends before, and still does, but he’s never had one quite like you.

Spencer can’t say what the moment he fell in love with you was. He can’t pinpoint when your friendship became something more to him. But he knows the moment he realized he was in love, and he doesn’t need an eidetic memory to recall it perfectly.

It’s such a small thing, nothing big and grand like film and literature portray. He’s showed up to the roundtable with a new haircut. Hotch asks him if he’s joined a boyband, which he doesn’t quite get, but Morgan finds very amusing. You catch up to him on his way out of the bullpen and say, “I liked your hair long, but it looks great like this, too.”

That’s when he knows.

The realization is like a punch to the gut, yet it’s not unpleasant. His world feels turned upside down, but upside down is looking like a fine place to be.

And you just carry on like nothing’s happened, like you haven’t just irreversibly changed his life with twelve words.

---

Spencer spends a few weeks sitting with this new information, mulling over his feelings and weighing his options.

Does he tell you he loves you? The FBI holds annual seminars discouraging fraternization between employees, but it’s mostly aimed towards preventing relationships between supervisors and their subordinates. There’s nothing in the regulations preventing two agents in the same standing from dating (which he knows because he’s read the entire handbook). A visit to HR and a form filed away makes that perfectly acceptable.

But as much as he wants to be with you, he’s terrified of losing your friendship. It’s one of the most important things in his life. If he confesses and you don’t return his feelings, it very well could ruin it. Things would never be the same between the two of you again. He can hardly tolerate the thought of that.

He has everything to lose, yet also everything to gain.

All of his speculation is operating under the assumption that you’re single, but he’s confident in that. You tell each other everything—there’s no way you wouldn’t mention seeing someone. You’ve always told him about any dates you’ve gone on in the past. And if, for some reason, you’d keep it a secret, he’s a profiler. He studies human behavior. He’d notice something going on.

Spencer finds out he’s wrong in what he thinks must be the worst possible way, because you don’t tell him yourself. He finds out you’re taken by accident.

It’s only a few weeks after JJ’s forced departure. They’ve just wrapped up a case in Connecticut, and Hotch postpones their flight home to the next morning so they can all get some solid rest after a grueling three days. Rossi offers to take them out for dinner at the hotel’s restaurant, and everyone takes him up on it.

You and Emily excuse yourselves a bit earlier than normal, but he knows he’s not the only one hurting over JJ, so he chalks it up to that. He finds himself following suit not even five minutes later when he fails to stifle his seventh yawn of the night. He steps off the elevator to the fifth floor and hears some quiet giggling from down the hall, but doesn’t think anything of it, just heads towards the room he’s sharing with Derek. It’s the door right after the one leading to the room you’re sharing with Emily, so there’s no way for him to avoid seeing what breaks his heart.

Emily has her hands on your waist as she presses your back against the door. You’re trying to scan the keycard and open the door from behind, a task you’re struggling with because she won’t stop kissing you.

Spencer freezes, his own keycard dropping from his fingers onto the plush carpet.

“Emily, Emily,” you whisper against her lips, trying and failing to suppress your laughter. “You have to let me open the door.”

“Mmm, fine,” she relents with an exaggerated sigh. She presses a kiss to your nose before taking a small step back so you can turn and scan the card.

Your eyes leave Emily’s face and land on his. You just stare at each other for a moment, unmoving.

Emily notices, of course, and asks you, “what’s wrong, baby?” before following your gaze to him.

That finally snaps Spencer out of his daze and he blurts out, “Sorry!” His voice cracks and he clears his throat as he bends down to pick his keycard back up. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to, to—disturb you. I’m just, just really tired and I’m gonna go to bed now.” He keeps his eyes on the carpet as he passes by the two of you, ignoring you when you say his name.

“Reid—” Emily starts, but he’s already letting the heavy door fall shut behind him and pressing his back against it. His breathing is shaky and he grips the strap of his satchel tightly. He doesn’t bother to turn on the lights—he knows they’d be too much right now—and starts to sway from side to side in an attempt to self-soothe.

It doesn’t work, so he begins pacing across the room, back and forth and back and forth until he stumbles over Derek’s go bag and any semblance of control he had breaks. His tie feels too tight and the way his bag is thumping against his thigh as he walks is maddening. He pushes his satchel off of his body as fast as he can, then claws at the knot of his tie, pulling on it until it’s loose enough to slide off over his head. He throws it across the room.

He starts pacing again, unable to stop one of his hands from flapping as his breathing grows erratic. He trips over Derek’s bag again and kicks it in retaliation, just barely holding back a shriek of frustration and agony and panic because oh god oh god I can’t breathe it’s all too much, too much, I can’t breathe.

Spencer can’t breathe because he loves you, he loves you, he loves you, and you don’t love him back.

---

He loses time.

It happens, sometimes, when he has a shutdown.

One moment he’s pacing across the hotel room floor, trying in vain to catch his breath, and the next he’s letting out an involuntary whine when the room lights turn on. Whoever flipped the switch turns them back off immediately.

Slowly, Spencer comes back to himself.  

He’s sitting on one of the beds, hugging a pillow to his chest as he rocks back and forth. His back thumps lightly against the headboard with each motion. He can breathe again, but they’re the wobbling breathes that come after crying. He touches his face and it feels wet.

“Reid.”

It’s a whisper from across the room, and he tenses on instinct.

“Reid, it’s Morgan,” it continues, and Spencer relaxes. He recognizes his friend’s voice now. He makes a small humming noise to indicate that he’s listening.

His eyes have adjusted to the dark now and he can see the vague shape of Morgan walk forward and sit on the bed across from his. “Are you okay, kid?”

Spencer’s breath hitches as he tries to respond. “I.... no,” he whispers. He hasn’t remembered what happened yet—something else that can happen when he spirals—but he feels all hollowed out inside, like someone has scooped out everything that’s him and left behind only a deep, aching pain in their wake.

“What happened?” Morgan asks quietly.

“What happened,” Spencer repeats under his breath. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes as he thinks. What happened.  What happened, Spencer?

“You left dinner,” Morgan prompts. “You said you were tired and were going to go to bed.”

That’s right. He left the table and headed to the elevator. Got off on the fifth floor. Walked down the hallway to their room and found—

It comes back in a rush, without warning.

You’re laughing as Emily kisses you, the hand not struggling with your keycard tangled in her hair. Emily places an affectionate kiss on your nose when she pulls away. You freeze when you see him, and Emily calls you baby.

The memory takes his breath away again, and he feels hot tears falling down his cheeks.

“Reid, Reid.” Morgan’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Stay with me. You’re okay, kid. You’re okay.”

All Spencer can do is shake his head, because he’s not okay, he’s so terribly far away from okay right now.

“Tell me what happened, kid,” Morgan urges. “Then I can help you.”

Spencer lets out a humorless laugh. Can’t Morgan see that there’s nothing he can do, can’t he see that Spencer’s in a thousand pieces on the floor? “You can’t help me,” he says, his voice hoarse from countless tears he doesn’t remember shedding.

“You don’t know that. How about you tell me what’s wrong, and then I can decide?”

“No, I do know that, Morgan,” he snaps. His rational brain recognizes that he’s acting out, that Morgan doesn’t deserve his anger; he’s not who Spencer’s actually angry at. But his emotional brain is the one running the show right now, so he continues, “Did you know?”

“Did I know what?” Morgan asks calmly. He’s keeping his cool, trying to deescalate the situation, and that makes Spencer even more upset. He doesn’t want to calm down, he can’t calm down, not when his world is falling apart.

“Did you know that Emily and (Y/N) are—are fucking?” he spits out. He can’t bring himself to say that you’re in love, despite the fact that the way you were looking at Emily can’t mean anything other than that.

“I... No, I didn’t, Reid,” Morgan replies. He’s not lying, but Spencer almost wishes he was, just so he could have someone to yell at right now. “Why is that upsetting for you?”

Spencer doesn’t answer. He’d never admitted his feelings about you out loud before, not even to himself, and he sure as hell won’t do it now. He knows the moment Morgan figures it out, because he can hear him sigh.

“I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I know how you feel.”

“Oh, right,” he scoffs. “Derek Morgan, god’s gift to women, knows how I feel right now.”

“Come on, Reid. Being able to leave a bar with someone on my arm doesn’t make me immune to the pain of liking someone who doesn’t like me back.” Derek’s voice is gentle, so much more gentle than he deserves right now, considering all Spencer’s done since he stepped foot in their room is lash out at him.

“I don’t like her, Morgan,” he says quietly. “I love her.”

Derek doesn’t say anything for a while. He doesn’t try and reassure him that he’s okay, that he’ll get over it. He doesn’t use that awful line of there’s plenty of fish in the sea. He just sits in silence with him. It’s exactly what Spencer needs. He doesn’t know how Morgan knows this when he didn’t himself.

Derek always seems to just know.

---

The morning comes before he’s ready to face it.

He wakes up to the sound of the shower running. His head hurts and his eyes feel puffy and sore. A beam of light is cutting through a gap in the curtains, landing on his face.

Spencer rolls over in bed and curls in on himself as his memories from the night before catch up to him. He stays like that, a lump under the covers, until Morgan comes out of the bathroom freshly showered.

“Hey, kid,” he says. “You awake?”

Spencer just grunts in response, unwilling to do anything that isn’t staying wrapped up in this cocoon of blankets. You’ve always called him a “Spencerrito” when he does this. He pretends to hate the nickname, but really, he finds it endearing. Now, though, it just hurts.

Any thought of you and the little things you do, the special things you do, the things that make butterflies sprout in his stomach, things that just yesterday made him feel warm inside, now make him ache all over.

“The jet’s set to take off in about an hour,” Morgan tells him. “If you don’t wanna fly, we can drive back together.”

The offer is tempting; spending an hour in close quarters with you and Emily knowing what he knows now, is not his idea of a good time. But he knows what he has to do. He’s known from the moment he saw the way you looked at Emily last night.

About a year ago, you’d come to his apartment on a Saturday night, looking truly downtrodden. You had been on a date, but it didn’t go well. “I’m scared I’ll never find someone,” you’d confided in him, your eyes filling with tears. “What if there’s no one out there for me, Spence?”

He hadn’t been sure how to answer. After all, he often felt the same way. So he’d put your favorite movie on the TV, dug some ice cream out from the back of his freezer, and stayed up late with you, watching one movie after another until you both dozed off in a tangle of limbs and blankets on his couch.

Slowly, he pushes himself into a sitting position on the hotel bed and looks at Morgan through the strands of hair hanging in his eyes. “You can’t tell her.”

Morgan raises his eyebrows in surprise. “I wasn’t going to, Reid.”

“I mean it,” Spencer insists. “(Y/N) can’t know. Emily, either. They... I don’t want to ruin this for her.”

“Hey,” Derek says, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “My lips are sealed, kid. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Spencer sighs. “Thanks,” he mutters, then attempts to rub the sleep from his eyes. “An hour, you said?”

---

He sequesters himself in one of the corner seats on the jet. He gets multiple worried and confused glances from everyone, including you, but no one pushes, as his body language just about screams, “leave me alone.”

Twenty minutes into the flight, someone slides into the seat across from him and he reluctantly looks up from his book. It’s Emily, looking properly nervous, folding her hands in front of her on the table.

He’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed that it’s not you.

He is sure that he doesn’t want to be talking to Emily right now, though. She took you, she took you, she took you, she took you, runs relentlessly through his mind. He pushes the thought away, glancing down at his book and running his finger across the pages to try and keep himself calm.

“Reid,” she starts hesitantly, and he drags his eyes back up. “I know you’re mad that (Y/N) didn’t tell you about us.”

Well, you’re not wrong, he thinks bitterly. It’s just not for the reason you assume, Emily.  

“But, um, that’s not on her,” she continues. “I asked her not to. And it wasn’t just you. We didn’t tell anyone. Only Hotch knew before last night, and that’s because we had to tell him.”

“Why?” Spencer asks bluntly. He does, technically, know the answer. Emily is very private when it comes to her life outside of work. It makes sense that she wouldn’t want to go around announcing her relationship status.

But Spencer doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t understand how she can be in love and not want to shout it from the rooftops. It doesn’t make any sense to him that she wouldn’t want to show you off and introduce you as my girlfriend. He can’t comprehend how she can have you, be loved by you, and not want everyone to know it.

Emily’s slightly taken aback by his question, and she bites her lip as she considers how to answer. “I just... really prefer to keep my work and personal life as separate as possible,” is what she settles on.

“Kinda impossible to do that when you’re seeing a coworker,” Spencer shoots back, then mentally scolds himself. You said you wouldn’t ruin this for her, Spencer. Don’t ruin this for (Y/N).

Her chuckle is nervous. “Well, yeah,” she concedes. “But we make it work.”

Spencer then asks a question he doesn’t really want to know the answer to before he can stop himself. “How long?”

Emily’s eyes fall to her hands as she poorly hides a smile. “Eight months.”

Eight months. Eight months. You’ve been with Emily for eight fucking months, and you never told him, never even hinted at the fact that you were seeing someone. You kept him in the dark for eight months.

You let him fall in love with you when your heart already belonged to someone else.

He doesn’t want to be mad at you. He knows he’s not being fair. He really, honestly, wants to be happy for you, happy that you found what you’ve been searching for, but reality seems hellbent on making that as difficult for him as possible.

“Please,” Emily says, “if you’re going to be mad, be mad at me. I was the one who asked her to do this.”

He stares down at his book for a full three minutes before finally muttering, “Alright.”

He sees her shoulders slump in relief in his peripheral vision. “Thank you,” she whispers, and then she leaves.

Spencer watches her walk across the jet to the couch and sit down next to you. He looks down before you can look at him because he knows he won’t be able to handle what he’ll see in your eyes. It’ll be love in your eyes, but love that’s not directed at him.  

Emily took you from him, she took you, she took you, his mind repeats until Spencer makes the first of what’s to be many attempts to accept the truth.

Emily didn’t take you from him. You were never his to begin with. 

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

[princessconsuelapark]

my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me.  Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what.   Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat)  You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

[gigslist]

34+ Voiceover Roles & 3 Musician Open Calls - Work From Home - Paid

'F*cking Sober' Podcast

22 + Roles

3 Open Calls for Musicians With Their Own Music

PAID WORK FROM HOME NON UNION

Deadline : September 15, 2021 2:00 PM

Somehow9am Productions // F*cking Sober: the first 90 days Podcast

Katie Mack, coord.

:"A call for artists in recovery for the 2nd Season of The Webby Award Winning Podcast Series 'F*cking Sober: the first 90 days.' We are looking for voice over talent and musicians/music producers for 'FS: Shadai.' 'F*cking Sober' is a semi-comedic mostly non-fictional narrative podcast following Shadai’s first 90 days of getting sober. Thirty-five year old Shadai is the black, queer, strong female in advertising— so what if she keeps shots in her bra for between meetings, right? But after a shitshow holiday party, a fuzzy cop encounter, and a disaster presentation with the new big account, Dry January doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Maybe Dry Forever is better. This is what it looks, acts, and feels like to get f*cking sober. This 8 episode serialized show features music by artists with their own story with recovery. F*cking Sober Season 1: Anita has received 15k downloads since it’s release in Nov 2020, and received a 2021 Webby Nomination for Best Limited Series, and a Webby Win for Best Writing for a Podcast. At this time we are only looking to work with artists who have a relationship/understanding of recovery. Please follow instructions for submitting and what to include in the cover letter to be considered! Thank you! Listen to Season 1 to get the vibe: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/f-cking-sober-the-first-90-days/id1538804959?i=1000499155627 And check out: www.fckingsoberpodcast.com @fckingsober90_podcast More information about Somehow9am Productions & Katie Mack (Producer): www.somehow9amproductions.com www.mackstage.com"

Roles

Shadai (Voiceover): Female, 18+WORK FROM HOMEproduction states: "Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! 35 year old, black, queer, cis gender female attorney with a dry sense of humor, who has strong opinions and shares them sometimes, is a powerhouse and knows it all… until… until she doesn’t. Please note your experience with improv/comedy in your cover letter If you have writing experience or are interested in writing please note this in your cover letter. We will be giving writing credits to the right candidate who desires to contribute to the molding of this character."Required Media: Voice Reel

Other Characters (Voiceover): 20-70

"Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! We are looking for diversity in every sense of the word, from all genders, to ages, to ethnicities, to lived experiences, to food preferences!! In short, we are looking to cast dope, interesting people. Looking to cast various characters through out the S2 Shadai, including but not limited to:

Dad (black, army veteran, a dad’s dad)

Mom (black, hyper critical, the opposite of Shadai)

Dana (any ethnicity, work enemy)

Coco (white, work bestie)

JewBoo aka Therapist (Jewish, confidant, motherly, with a special sense of humor)

Miriam (black, best friend and ex-lover who tells it like it is)

Galen (white, gay, best friend who is warm and caring and pushy)

15 other characters Please note any experience you may have with comedy/improv if any. Please submit your reel along with your cover letter."Required Media: Voice Reel, Cover Letter

Musicians (BIPOC Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from BIPOC identifying artists.

Musicians (Queer Identifying Artist in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music by Queer Artists.

Musicians (Non-BIPOC/Non-Queer Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from non-BIPOC or non-Queer Identifying Artists in recovery.

"To be produced over the course of October 2021 - January 2022 Shadai’s commitment is estimated at two hrs/wk. Other characters 30mins. Musicians, all work should already exist. Please be prepared to send stems or stripped down tracks."

Compensation & Union Contract Details

Stipend: $25 - $75Production states: "Shadai (Lead Character), $550 for full season. All Other Characters: $25-$50 per episode. Musicians: $25-$75 per song per episode. Sync license contract."

Seeking talent: Nationwide (United States)

Website:http://www.fckingsoberpodcast.com

======================================

'Rain: Series III'

12 Voiceover Roles

PAID WORK FROM HOME NONUNION

Deadline: September 14, 2021 8:59 PM

JKPRising James Klim, filmmaker

Seeking voiceover talent for "Rain: Series III," a web-series, created in the video game Halo Reach on MCC via Xbox/PC. "This series will have a total of 13 episodes. I have many characters to cast, 12 specifically. If you wish to learn more about the show, you can check out my documentary series regarding the show. You can view the first episode here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlzPQvJS3og A little bit about me, I am a freelance filmmaker who actually got into film through making Halo videos as a kid when I was younger. You can check out some of my work here - www.jkprising.com/ I've always wanted to return to my roots & finish a series I was never able to before, but now I have the time to focus on it. This is a paid position. Rates depend on each character as some have more lines than others & vice versa. I am not the wealthiest person in the world, but I will to compensate each voice actor for their performance. My budget per character is between $100 - $300. This again, all varies per character. In this post, there is a video of what the character will look like in the series. I have also attached a single page from a random episode script from the show. The highlighted lines are what the character will say. There will also be non verbal lines highlighted, this is meant to be voiced kind of like an anime, where every movement usually has sounds. Typically, how would you make a sound if you did any of the following, head turn, turns around, surprised gasp, sighs, etc. Since this a paid gig, I am expecting a professional voice audition & if hired, continued professional audio. This means minimum to no background noise. The audio needs to be crisp."

Roles

Chloe Moody (Voiceover): Female, 18-35WORK FROM HOME29. Voice type: English/United Kingdom accent, polite, doesn't get mad often but when she does, she loses it, anxious, low self esteem, hopeful. Chloe Moody used to be a psychiatrist, but after the death of her soon to be husband, she spiraled into insanity. She met someone later on in life named Tom Rains, who looked exactly like her dead boyfriend. She became obsessed with him & tried to get with him, which sunk her further into a deep depression. She finally hit rock bottom, which causes her to seek out help from the very people she used to serve. Chloe meets a psychiatrist named Jennifer, who is able to help herself almost fully recover. Chloe eventually accidently runs back into Tom, which triggers Chloe to try one last time. After a final rejection, Chloe comes to the realization that she is not redeemable & decides to take her own life in front of Tom. Chloe's death, triggers a massive event for Tom Rains, which has massive ramifications for the series. Chloe is a major character and will appear in a couple episodes.Languages:

English

Accents:

British

Australian

Voice Styles:

Soft

Softspoken

Crazy

Compassionate

Sad

Angry

Required Media: Voice Reel

Dark Daryl (Voiceover): Male, 18-40WORK FROM HOME

32, voice type: Very dark presence, evil. sadistic, look at examples like Yami Marik from the Original Yu-Gi-Oh - www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xaa_ycud6o, manic, darkness. Dark Daryl is the darkness of his original persona, Daryl. Daryl accidentally acquired a powerful technology known as an imperium. This caused Daryl to lose himself to it at some point & was taken over by an alternate personality named, The Professor, which caused tons of damage. When Daryl came back to his senses, the damage had been done & others abandoned him, which caused him to grow angry at something that he didn't consciously do. Daryl once again loses himself to the imperium, which turns into Dark Daryl, a representation of all the anger & hatred he endured over the course of his past uncontrollable actions. Dark Daryl is very aggressive, sadistic & wants to destroy the people who wronged him in the past. Eventually, he comes face to face with Daryl & fights to stay as the one who remains in control, even if that means killing Daryl & anyone who gets in his way. Dark Daryl is a character who appears in the second half of the show, & becomes the series main villain. He will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Aggressive

Angry

Evil

Commanding

Straightforward

Scary

Dangerous

Intimidating

Demonic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Nikki (Voiceover): Female, 18-35 WORK FROM HOME

25. Voice type: Energetic, passionate, caring, open-minded, loving, positive, independent, fighter. Nikki used to date Tom Rains. She didn't really have much going for her, as she had no ambition at all during that time of her life. After Tom broke up with her, this was quite the shock to Nikki. It caused her to really dive deep within herself & from that moment, she tried to learn more about herself. She discovered a love for storytelling, & so went into journalism. Nikki is now dating Jennifer & they have been together for almost a year. Nikki eventually gets wrapped up in a major conspiracy, which drags many of her friends in with her. She is in for the story of her entire career. Nikki is a major character and will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Comforting

Compassionate

Caring

Amusing

Animated

Brave

Heroic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Talent works remotely with professional recording equipment.

Professional Pay: $100 - $300Pays between $100-$300 depending on character.

Nationwide (United States)

Additional Materials

Website: https://www.jkprising.com/

Nikki Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/7f95c65b-ab53-43d3-a66b-9e59d1041acb.pdf

Dark Daryl Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/00cfdf46-84c1-4da6-9dee-91c7bcdeed3d.pdf

Chloe Moody Audition.pdf https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/186cbe9e-9c7e-4ce5-bcbe-2407a9dec00b.pdf

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[kayliemusing]

33

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? - If you're talking about aliens or ghosts, yes lol

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? - 3. I can manage but sometimes I get unnerved, especially if I'm alone in the dark outside

3. The person you would never want to meet? - Anyone who could hurt me

4. What is your favorite word? - Wonderstruck. I also like the word 'elegance' bc I like the way it sounds.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? - cherry blossom tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? - 'Ew'

7. What shirt are you wearing? - I'm wearing a blue sweater

8. What do you label yourself as? - A few things: a romantic, writer, daydreamer, perfectionist, etc

9. Bright room or dark room? - Bright

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? - Heading to bed

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? - I think I liked being seventeen, but I can't really remember

12. Who told you they loved you last? - My mom probably lol

13. Your worst enemy? - My sister's abusive ex

14. What is your current desktop picture? - A forest

15. Do you like someone? - No one in my real life, but I've developed a sudden crush on Evan Peters in the last 24 hrs lmao

16. The last song you listened to? - The Last Great American Dynasty by Taylor Swift, I think

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? - My sister's ex

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? - My sister's ex

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? - Idk if I'd have a slave tbh lol

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) - My hair, I guess

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? - I'd probably look like myself, but maybe taller and obviously more masculine. I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd be a writer, because maybe my experience would be different. So...not sure.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? - This is weird and if anyone asks me, I'll deny it, but I can make stomach grumbling noises without opening my mouth. Honestly not hard to do, but I think I'm really good at it lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? - I don't really have a unique fear. I think what I'm afraid of is normal. I'm super afraid of failure, loss, and getting older bc I feel like growing old comes with loss. Terrified of spiders and most bugs. Deep water bc I can't swim well. So...Pretty basic I think.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. - A standard PB and J.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? - I'd probably just take it to the bank and put it in my bank account, which would most likely end up going towards makeup, books, skincare or clothes.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? - Maybe NYC? Or totally the opposite and going somewhere super quiet and beautiful, like a countryside in England or France lol.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? - I feel like an angel wouldn't offer me that, but maybe a dessert wine. I'm not really a fan of alcohol so Idk what else I'd choose lol.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? - Everyone listens and loves Taylor Swift, if not, you're going to jail

29. What is your favorite expletive? - 'bitch' I think lol

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? - My laptop

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - Probably an embarrassing moment. I would want to erase traumas but then I feel like that would actually end up messing everything up. i.e., would lead to confusion or misunderstandings about love, etc.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! - Interesting. I'm not sure what the question is, but if I could move anywhere else in the world, I'd probably move to a big city like NYC, Vancouver, or LA OR I'd go the opposite and move to a super cozy cottage in a countryside somewhere.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? - My dad

34. What was your last dream about? - Last night I had this bizarre dream that I was camping with Matthias from YouTube and he was being super mean to me lmao. Then all of a sudden I was in Calgary with my sister and we were just like wandering around.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - I feel like you're asking if I'm a good person, to which, I think yes.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? - No

37. Have you ever built a snowman? - Yes

38. What is the color of your socks? - I'm not wearing any, but they're usually white or black.

39. What type of music do you like? - Pop, Alternative/alternative pop, folk, country, country-pop, some 80s stuff, acoustic, etc. I span through a few genres, but I think I like something with a catchy melody and good songwriting.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? - Sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? - Vanilla, bc i'm basic

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) -I don't watch football oops

43. Do you have any scars? - A few. Mostly acne scars rip, but also a big scar on my elbow from when I fell off my bike when I was a kid. I have a few chickenpox scars on my forehead that like to peak out every now and again too.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? - I already graduated High School, but I just applied to college so the plan is to be a Copy Editor and a novelist on the side.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? - That I had a flat stomach

46. Are you reliable? - Tbh no. I think I'm pretty flaky :/

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? - How did it turn out?

48. Do you hold grudges? - Yes, unfortunately

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? - Maybe like a bird and a chinchilla or a fox or something so it would be like this flying fox thing. Idk. I saw a fantasy drawing on pinterest of a bird/something-else and it was super cute.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? - I don't know actually lol

51. Are you a good liar? - No, because I get super nervous and can't make eye contact or I start smiling. Even worse, sometimes it's both.

52. How long could you go without talking? - I'm pretty quiet, so a long time. Maybe a day, but not two days lol.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? - I got a perm when I was in the sixth grade and everyone laughed at me so.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? - Yes

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? - Not well, but sometimes I like to butcher a British and Australian accent. Usually happens when I'm alone which is worse.

56. What do you like on your toast? - Usually I'll just put margarine on it or jam. If I feel like being fancy, I'll put brown sugar and cinnamon on it.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? - I probably doodled some hearts not too long ago

58. What would be you dream car? - Probably a red 1960-70s chevy convertible.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. - I talk to myself in the shower a lot which is weird but i'm just kinda processing my thoughts out loud lmao. Sometimes I'll sing or hum to myself.

60. Do you believe in aliens? - That would be a hard no.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? - No, unless it's in a fun meme like the signs as tv shows or something

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? - I have never thought about this before tbh. Maybe S? or R? or C? Idk

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? - Dragons

64. What do you think about babies? - Cute

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[ikevampeventarchive]

[Event Info-SE] Once Again, I Will Fall In Love With You ~ Pt. 2

Event Overview:

The second part of the 2nd Anniversary Story Event, [Once Again, I Will Fall In Love With You], is here! It’s certainly shaping up to be a busy month of July for IkeVamp, with events being released left and right. Not to forget, IkeVamp JP Anniversary on July 31st!

We’ve also hit our 200 Followers milestone, so please look forward to those bonuses being released as soon as we’re able to finish them. ^^

Announcement: 22 July 2019 | Duration: 25 July (4:00 PM JST) ~ 6 August 2019 (9:00 PM JST)

What awaits you, who happily lived out your life till the end in 19th century France, is a reunion with him in the current era. However, you seem to have lost your memory….? Part 2 will be a reunion with him in modern day France—

—From IkeVamp Twitter.

[This is an unofficial work based on fan-translation. Copyright belongs to Cybird.] 

Warning: Spoilers Below

Prologue:

—Unknown memories, a forgotten promise. Led by fate that transcends time, once again I fall in love with “you”….—

(..Ah, this dream again.)

—Ever since I was a child, I’ve seen this dream countless times. In a mansion hidden deep within the forest, a place that I do not know, I spent my days with “those men”….—

**(Napoleon): (yawning)….’Morning, MC. You prepared breakfast for me? Thank you.

(—….You’re calling my name in such a familiar way. Who are you?)

(Mozart): While I was gazing at the sunrise this morning, a new melody formed in my mind.

(Jeanne): It’s a good song. When I listen to your piano, it calms my heart like magic. MC, you think the same, right?

(Mozart): Ha…My first audience will be you and MC. Make sure to stay and listen ‘till the end.

(Even though this scenery should all be unknown to me, but somehow, they feel painfully familiar…)

(Dazai): How about it, Miss Toshiko? Won’t you partake in an apple as well?

(Isaac): I’ve told you already, stop mentioning apples!

(Arthur): This again? It seems like you never learn— You agree of course, MC?

(Even though this is a dream, it feels just like reality—)

(Theo): Hey, MC. Why is he here?

(Shakespeare): My, “he” is a bit cruel, isn’t it. I am here because your older brother invited me so.

(Vincent): I wanted to have tea with everyone, so I invited Will, but… MC, did I mess up?

(Theo): That’s not….you didn’t do anything wrong! C’mon join in, Mutt!

(…Every day was lively and fun, repeating over and over.)

(Comte): …Hm, it has a lovely scent. The coffee you served was amazing.

(Leonardo): Making something that even we would praise, cara mia, you’re quite talented, aren’t you? Or is it due to being under the tutelage of a genius butler?

(Sebastian): I would disagree. MC has been extremely quick in picking up everything and assisted me greatly.

(I want to stay here. And I came to wish for it desperately. But…. Dreams will always have an end — it is the inescapable truth of parting.)

???: I love you…MC. …If there is such a thing as being reborn, I will search for you. No matter how long it takes.

(…I’ll wait for you. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes.)

Embracing my beloved’s words in the final moments, I slept for a long, long time…—

Opening my eyes to my ordinary bedroom, I let out a small sigh.

MC: ….What in the world was that dream….?

(The place…was an old, foreign country, and I lived with someone in a large mansion….That’s it. I can’t remember anything else.)

The dream that was so vivid in my mind becomes obscured by mist the moment I open my eyes. But even so, my heartbeat races, and overwhelming feelings of happiness and pain remain.

(In my dreams, I feel like I made an extremely important promise. An important promise, with an important person….who was that person…?)

It was merely a dream, and I’m not sure if there was any meaning held within. But deep down, I had a feeling our meeting was seared into my heart.

** - The nameplate is blank but there are sprites that appear to signal who is talking.

Event Info:

If you’ve been playing other IkeSeries games, Secret Endings are nothing new. For this event, players must first clear the same character’s Sweet End and Premium End consecutively (it doesn’t matter which End is chosen first), and only upon completion of both Ends, will they unlock the Secret End.

There is a Secret End for each route, with the amount of points needed to clear One route, all Ends, is 28,396. Projected Full Clear amount is ~64,000. 

Upon completion of the first end for each route, players will be prompted to buy the Epilogue, with the Epilogue bonus being the speech bubble accessory item shown below.

Visit the links below for ERS (Event Route Summary) of each event route.

Routes: Mozart | Leonardo | Vincent

Fever Schedule

*Time listed in PDT (Pacific Daylight Time) | GMT-7

Battle 2x: 7/25 12:00 AM ~ 7/26 12:00 AM | (24 hrs)

Battle 2x: 7/26 08:00 PM ~ 7/27 02:00 AM | (6 hrs)

Battle 2x: 7/27 04:00 PM ~ 7/28 04:00 AM | (12 hrs)

Battle 2x: 7/30 02:00 AM ~ 7/30 07:59 AM | (5:59 hrs)

Battle 2x: 7/31 02:00 AM ~ 7/31 07:59 AM | (5:59 hrs)

Battle 2x: 8/2 02:00 AM ~ 8/2 07:59 AM | (5:59 hrs)

Battle 2x: 8/2 04:00 PM ~ 8/3 04:00 AM | (12 hrs)

Battle 2x: 8/3 04:00 PM ~ 8/4 07:59 AM | (15:59 hrs) 

Battle 2x: 8/5 08:00 PM ~ 8/6 05:00 AM | (9 hrs) 

Event Rewards

Early Clear Bonuses

Early Clear Bonus Gold: Clear 2 Premium Ends within 24 hours of entering the event.

Get [ Ash Grey Party Hair] (Beauty: 200)

Early Clear Bonus Silver: Clear 3 (All) Premium Ends within 48 hours of entering the event.

Get [Glittering Party Makeup] (Beauty: 200)

Early Secret End Clear Bonus: Clear all Secret Ends by 8/4 at 11:59 PM (248 hrs).

Get [Gorgeous Flower Chandelier] (Beauty: 200)

Early End Clear Bonus: Clear a total of 6 Ends by 7/30 at 11:59 PM (128 hrs).

Get [Gorgeous Party Room Sofa] (Beauty: 200)

Ranking Bonuses

Ranking Bonuses:

Ranks 1 - 100

Sexy Off-Shoulder Party Dress (Beauty: 280)

Mature Sex Appeal Party Suit (Beauty: 260)

Sexy Colored Corsage Ribbon (Beauty: 180)

Diamonds x 50

—

Ranks 101 - 300

Mature Sex Appeal Party Suit (Beauty: 260)

Sexy Colored Corsage Ribbon (Beauty: 180)

Diamonds x 50

—

Ranks 301 - 800

Sexy Colored Corsage Ribbon (Beauty: 180)

Diamonds x 50

—

Ranks 801 - 1500

Diamonds x 50

—

Ranking within the shown borders will also grant you an extra accessory item!

Purchase Bonus

Set Purchase Bonus Present: Purchase the [Event Specialty] Set within 7/25 at 4:00 PM to 7/30 at 11:59 PM and receive [2nd Anniversary Celebration Chibi].

Set Info Post [Link]

Epilogue Bonus

Purchasing the Epilogue will give you these bonus accessory items! 

Mozart: “I’ll definitely make you say ‘I love you,’ so prepare yourself.” 

Leonardo: “In the past, and into the future as well, I’ll always love you, cara mia.” 

Vincent: “I keep falling in love with you. Over and over, hundreds of times.” 

Clear Bonuses

All Clear Bonus: Clear all Ends.

Get [Mansion’s Shining Party Room] (Beauty: 220)

All Premium Clear Bonus: Clear all 3 Premium Ends.

Get [2nd Anniversary Party Ms. Bunny] (Beauty: 200)

Mozart Secret End: Frilled Collar Sexy Cropped Top (Beauty: 60)

Leonardo Secret End: Gorgeous Fringe Sandals (Beauty: 60)

Vincent Secret End: Glittering Frilled Mermaid Skirt (Beauty: 60)

Mozart Premium End: Mature Crossed Ribbon Cuffs (Beauty: 60)

Leonardo Premium End: Sexy Gold Hoop Earrings (Beauty: 60)

Vincent Premium End: Gorgeous Frilled Barrette (Beauty: 60)

Love Point Bonuses

10,000 Points - Closet Space x 2

20,000 Points - Gacha Token x 1

30,000 Points - Closet Space x 2

40,000 Points - Gacha Token x 1

50,000 Points - Closet Space x 2

60,000 Points - Gacha Token x 2

70,000 Points - Closet Space x 4 and [Party Room Candles] (Beauty: 80)

80,000 Points - Gacha Token x 2

90,000 Points - Closet Space x 5 and [Party Room Curtains] (Beauty: 100)

100,000 Points - Gacha Token x 4

—

And that concludes the [Once Again, I Will Fall In Love With You Pt. 2] event! It’s been a very busy July, and a very busy year for Ikevamp so far. Please look forward to the election event coming up as well. 

--- Ikevamp Event Archive Contributors

[omarandjohnny]

22Qs.

Tagged by @whipmyhairlikebangbang <333333333333333333333333

Name/nickname: Johnny/JONATHAN!

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5’11

Hogwarts house: Slytherins dress like trad goths, can I be in with them?

Last thing I googled: 'baphomet pin' Life has been garbage, so I've been cheering myself up by looking at pretty things. THIS is also on my must-have list.

Favorite musician/s: DEPECHE MODE FOREVAR (also any 80s goth/post punk stuff, 70s glam, filthy 80s hair metal, horror punk, oldies, etc) But DM will always be the numero uno.

Last song I listened to: Dark Entries/Bauhaus

Song stuck in my head: If You Have Ghosts/Ghost

Followers: 760

Following: 420

Amount of sleep: 4 hrs and then another 2 later in the day, or 7 straight.

Lucky number: 69, DUDES!

What I’m wearing: black tee and black shorts. QUELLE SURPRISE.

Dream job: Fry-cook on Venus!

Dream trip: A sleepy week exploring James Dean’s hometown. (I only live a few hours away, but poverty + elderly parents + tiny vehicle= no long car trips. C’est la vie.)

Favorite food: Beef Lo Mein usually, but in the past month or so I've been making a lot of chicken legs. Plain chicken legs from the store, with some season-all, and then let 'em bake in the oven until they're done. It takes forever to cook in my little convection oven, but it's easy af. Plus, I'm the only person in the house that likes dark meat, so I gets them allll to myself ;)

Instruments: Not anymore, but I used to be a band kid (drums), and before that, I was a Suzuki student (violin and piano).

Languages: English

Favorite song/s: too many to count, but #1 will always be Enjoy the Silence

Random fact: I can’t stand flowery scented perfumes/soaps because of a knuckleheaded stunt I pulled when I was about 10. I was nosing around in Mom’s makeup samples and found one of those perfume vials. Didn’t know how to pull the top off, and was putting all my strength into it…not aware of the fact that I had it right in front of my face as I struggled with the tiny pull tab. The lid gave way, and I ended up with a mouth full of VERY strong perfume. I could taste the ghost of it for ages, and since then have developed a strong aversion to any scent that reminds me of it. Yikes. (recycling this answer from an older q. meme, because of course)

Aesthetic:

[thepatchworkcrow]

21 Questions Tag

@thebasildruid has tagged me; thank you, friend!

RULES: Simply answer the following 21 questions and then tag 21 (or however many) people you’d love to get to know more!

1. Name/Nickname: Real name is Rachel, but I’ve gone by Rach and Rae in the past and have been gifted nicknames such as Bowie and Sunshine

2. Zodiac sign: Cancer

3. Height: 5’ 5″

4. Hogwarts house: Slytherin

5. Last thing I googled: “Stardew Valley on Steam”

6. Favourite musician: David Bowie

7. Last song I listened to: The last song I recall hearing was a Ninja Sex Party song (my bf’s music) though I can’t for the life of me remember which one.

8. Song stuck in my head: Strangely enough, I don’t have one stuck in my head at present.

9. Followers: 1,402

10. Following: 452

11. Amount of sleep: 5-8 hrs usually

12. Lucky number: 6 or 13

13. What I’m wearing: long-sleeved NASA shirt and pajama shorts

14. Dream job: Full time tarot reader / writer; more “realistically” though an English teacher.

15. Dream trip: A self-led pilgrimage to various sacred sites in England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland.

16. Favourite food: Man, I can’t really choose... homemade pumpkin bread, fresh raspberries, chicken alfredo.... not all together, but some that come to mind. XD

17. Instruments: Alto Sax, and my own voice

18. Languages: English, some French, and currently learning Welsh on Duolingo

19. Favourite songs: “Rock n’ Roll Suicide” by David Bowie, “Half Jack” by The Dresden Dolls, “Birds of Rhiannon” by Damh the Bard

20. Random fact: I did 12 different musicals in high school and literally sing and play music almost constantly.

21. Aesthetic: Warm caramel coffee, copper mugs, tie-dye tapestries and fairy lights, cool nights spent stargazing, the rustling of cotton wood trees in the breeze, the smell of autumn leaves decaying, soft Celtic music, grey mornings and golden afternoons, sitting in coffee shops during a thunderstorm and writing poetry, ink-stained hands and hand-written notes.

I Tag…. @laughtermagick, @prettyandextant, @aesir-thor, @orderofthedruids, @tea-and-antlers and anyone else who wants to play along.

[starchild--27]

85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake .  This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening  

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone 

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much 

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends 

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do. 

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long 

36. do you have a crush on someone -  if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.     

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD     

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.  

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus -  no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

[weaponized-mathematics]

21 Questions

I was tagged by the wonderful @inaudibledaisy forever ago lol. 

1. Nicknames? Panda, Bear.. uh.. idk other than that

2. Zodiac? Leo

3. Height? 5'11″

4. Last movie watched? Lethal Weapon

5. Last thing you Googled? “C++ linear algebra library open source” 

6. Favorite musician? I don’t really have a “favorite.” I listen to pretty much everything depending on my mood. I guess Corey Smith is the CLOSEST to a favorite? 

7. Song stuck in my head? Forgot about Dre by Dr. Dre Ft. Eminem. I blame NPR for talking about Eminem the other day loll

8. Other blogs? Nah

9. Do I get asks? Occasionally, but it’s been a while

10. Following? 461 blogs

11. Amount of sleep? Depends on the day, but usually about 7 or 8 hrs. 

12. Lucky number? 13

13. What I’m wearing? Jeans and a blue polo shirt. I gotta go into work after I take Cort to her appt so I gotta look somewhat professional :(

14. Dream job? Computational physicist. With more focus on PHYSICS as opposed to COMPUTATIONAL. Like my current job, basically? Though I’d do less computer science-y type stuff if I could lol. 

15. Dream trip? Somewhere with mountains, and fresh water. Getting a cabin somewhere secluded! 

16. Favorite food? Mashed potatoes I guess? Especially fully loaded. 

17. Play any instruments? I play guitar, but I’m not that good. I’ve also played violin, cello, and flute in the past. 

18. Languages? English fluently, Russian a few words here and there. I lost way too much unfortuantely :( 

19. Favorite song? See If I Care -- Gary Allen (currently)

20. Random fact? I have an obsession with buying books that I will NEVER read because I DON’T HAVE TIME.... 

21. Describe your aesthetic? Camo, Big Sweatshirts, Jeans, Work Boots, and dirty chalkboards. 

I tag:

@lifeloveandbs, @bisexual-bifurcations, and anyone else who wants to do it! 

[mattyslittleworld]

Snowbirds & Townies

1:42 am / Tick Tock Diner 34th & 8th Ave New York City. I don’t know what keeps bringing me back here. I was in Hoboken and grabbed my skateboard and hopped the path into the 9th street station in Manhattan. As soon as I got above ground it was snowing. Blizzard shit. I skated in the snow over to Union Square to see the punks but it was ghost. So from there I got lost in my headphones and skated all the way up 20 streets to 34th. The most free I’ve felt in awhile. I want to be so far from music. So far from anything and anybody I’ve ever known. It felt like I was a different person. Music isolates me, especially now, and it leaves me depressed and alone. During these dark lows I would stay at Bepa’s and talk to him in the kitchen over coffee and then hop the train to the ferry - into manhattan and get lost in a fake identity. Be whoever I want. Start over just for a little. But here I am, again. At the same diner that I lived above before I started touring heavy as a kid. Right before I took my first swing. The same closet sized room I’d leave late night and meet all my friends and just run wild in the city spray painting, skating, and terrorizing. But secretly deep down, hurting. Wanting something more. Edge of offing myself. Wanting companionship. Wanting love. Wanting to get the fuck out. Wanting everything I have now - and will have. I’m back here only difference is I worked with Cage. I sang for Shai Hulud, I’ve gained the respect and shared the stage with everyone I looked up to, I toured 14 countries, I worked with every top respectable rapper from the east coast, I’ve sold out shows, I released the album I wrote here, I did a song and video with Danny Clinch, I did a song with Jesse Malin, I played with HR from Bad Brains, ive played a sold out show at The Stone Pony (without an album), ive played a sold out show at The Bowery Ballroom, ive sang Clash songs with Brian Fallon and Craig from The Hold Steady  - I’ve done everything I ever wanted to do sitting in that room. I fell in love then out of love then back in love with my high school crush. I’ve been heart broken. Shooting the music video with Danny Clinch was intense for me. He’s become my bro and I’m mad grateful for his friendship, but damn was that wild. I was on a 3 day run. I hung out with a beautiful lady and passed out in my jeans after she stuffed my face with orange soda and candy and made me watch Ryan Gosling fuck a doll. I stayed up till like 5 am. Woke up in my clothes at like 7 am two hours later. Had the video shoot at noon and I was mad far from my house. Woke up shot up north with my Dunkin and picked up Rob. SOOOOO TIRED and sick from the soda and candy. Changed real quick and went to the studio where we shot the video. We set up the scene for 2 hours and got angles and then Danny got there and I’m tipping over tired and flustered from this pretty girl. We shot for a half hour then took a break and I was nodding off on the floor during the break. Came back and killed off the video by a piano. After that me and Rob were mind blown over this goal being accomplished. Gratitude isn’t even the word. Next day I get hit by Tsu Surf with a time and place for a session last minute so me and rob drop our shit and shoot over and bang out this hit song that’s got a summer vibe that I made off the influence of this pretty girl. He killed it. I’m an actual fan of him so it was mad cool we could get in the room together and knock this out. That was the first time ive ever collabed in a “Industry” setting where its all bout business - very corporate. I had to adjust to that environment and put a suit on. Times like those make you realize your love for music, your passion, and your “art” simply just don't matter. These managers and shit just don't give a fuck about your grandpa dying and the song you made out of it, or the girl you love and the song you made out of it - they're like yeah fuck yourself lets get money - and you have to jump in or jump out. I jumped in and learned my place. It’s wild to think of what he’s been through over the past few years. Getting out of prison for attempted murder then getting lit up 5 times, surviving, and then while you’re healing you make a tape and it goes up the charts to number 2 in a day, unsigned. Mad funny seeing local level bands desperate to get signed - they don't even know what that means now. My pleasure to work my man, I salute you with honor and respect. After that session I went home and took a week off, after non stop grinding for the past 2 years. The Danny Clinch video shoot right into the Tsu Surf session killed me off. In Surfs studio I couldn’t even keep my head up. I’m so burnt out. What am I searching for here at this diner? What is my soul lacking? What is my heart lacking? I spend many nights here alone, staring out this window drinking coffee. Missing Bepa. Missing people. Missing a certain time of my life when everything was free. But not in a I need to get a life and move on kind of way. It’s not pathetic. I have moved on. I did get a life. I did pretty damn good on my own. I got it from the mud. So why look back? It’s hard for me to mix my social personal life with people I know from music. They don’t know the memories I have, they don’t give a shit. They don’t know anything about me. They don’t want to find that liberating freedom that I am searching for when I come to this diner - that I had when I lived here. I still don't want to get drunk or high. I don't want to watch you get drunk. You could be sober and grinding with a clear head. I want to spend time with people like that. Gorilla promotion. Animalistic work ethic. The snow is coming down fierce and I gotta skate back to the path to go back to Hoboken, then drive all the way home. I won’t be home for awhile. Hopefully till the sun comes up. I want to be lost. I want to be gone. I want to be bliss. I want to walk into this pharmacy across the street again and get cherry coke 12ozs and just sit on my bed and watch blacklisted videos on YouTube. I want to go to pen station and grab a soda and a magazine and take the LIRR to a hardcore show and not get home till the next morning. Strung out after a night of fucking mayhem and laughing. Love, friends, and just fucking beauty. We can still be beautiful. After the money - you can still be whoever the fuck you want. Let’s be beautiful and reckless and never sleep. I love my life. I hate my life. I’m happy. I’m depressed. I want to live. I want to die. I am alive. I am dead. Now on the train back home, braved the blizzard. I noticed a void in how music has been touching me lately. Anything hip hop related seemed stale. Any Americana or folk seemed dead and expired. Rock n roll boring. Even heavy hardcore was horrible. I ended up in a wormhole of bands like Thursday and From Autumn To Ashes. Poison The Well, even weirdo shit like It Dies Today. Folly really hit me hard. I have specific memories to these records and they’re so beautiful and god damn I miss these people. Being in middle school and debating the differences between FATA and PTW. As I’m typing this I just got noticed on the path train for music and they complemented my shattered realm hoodie and I showed him I was listening to from first to last and he died laughing. He said he heard my career was “bumping” and I’m sitting here soaking wet freezing and hungry on a train in all black curled up in a ball around my skateboard. Emily by FFTL is the best song ever written. Even better than Bob Dylan. Fight me. 

[grimelords]

​My March playlist is finished and posted on time for once! Please enjoy three and a half hours of my new and old favourite music. A lot of post-hardcore, country of a few different flavours and a thirteen second long song that goes beep beep boop. Enjoy.

Old Money - Omar Rodriguez-Lopez: Who among you will join me on my podcast ‘Omar Podriguez-Locast’ where we discuss one of Omar Rodriguez’s 60+ insane solo albums every week and grow gradually infuriated with the very existence of each other until listeners are just tuning in each week for the episode where one of us finally snaps and attacks the other with a microphone?

America’s Most Blunted - Madvillain: It’s weird that this song about the wild and wacky world of jazz cigarettes opens up with a Steve Reich sample before moving into some real Reefer Madness type lameness at the end. Songs from so long before any type of legalisation are so lame like 'recent research shows that it’s not so darn harmful!’. This song is still very good though. I only found out that Lord Quas was just Madlib recently but I really respect the idea of having a rap alter-ego that’s just you with a pitch pedal.

Love My Way - The Psychedelic Furs: An underrated part of Call Me By Your Name is when Armie Hammer hears this song playing from a car and sprints over to dance with a woman who looks like she’s doing the monster mash.

Seven Stop Hold Restart - Bear Vs. Shark: Despite their bad name Bear Vs. Shark are a very good band and the best lyric in this song is when he says 'I am nine years old with short legs and arms.’ What I like about this song, and this band, is that the screaming is not the sort of affected scream-singing of a lot of their contemporaries it’s just a stocky guy absolutely yelling his guts out, which I appreciate.

Turncoat Revolution - Hot Cross: I think that’s close to what I like so much about Hot Cross too, I’ve never listened to Saetia either (the other band this guy sings for) but maybe I should because I just love this guy’s voice. The central hammery riff is so appealing to me but my favourite part of this song is the ending where the three chords just shrink away as the whole thing mellows down, it feels like realising you’ve been mad at something that happened in a dream this whole time.

Mag11 P82 - Venetian Snares and Daniel Lanois: Venetian Snares is apparently doing an album with Daniel Lanois who produced a bunch of U2 albums so my dream of a Bono/Venetian Snares team up is one step closer to reality. I like collaborations like this where you can very clearly tell who did what part. It’s hard to mistake when and how Venetian Snares is involved in a song a lot of the time. I really like this team up because freeing Snares from any kind of melodic responsibility allows Lanois to give the song a huge amount of space, unprecedented in a Snares song where the melody is often just as frantic as the rest of it.

Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos: Do you remember when Tori Amos had that album called American Doll Posse where she was doing a bunch of characters or something and it’s got one of the worst covers of all time in my opinion and I think about it a lot. Had a song called Big Wheel on it that I get stuck in my head a lot. But this isn’t that song so never mind! I was thinking about the production on this song, and how crazy it is to have whistling as a big part of your song while avoiding having everyone think of it as 'that whistling song’. All the instrumentation on this is great, the mandolin and acoustic next to each other making a huge bed for the piano to move under, then the harpsichord sounding keyboard and the guest vocal near the end, there’s just so much happening I love it.

The Field That Touches My House And Yours - Sarah Louise: This is probably the upcoming album I’m most excited about right now. Sarah Louise (who’s one half of House And Land who I’ve posted about before) is pulling a real James Blake by releasing a lot of amazing instrumental music and then suddenly revealing she’s an absolutely incredible singer and songwriter as well.

Jezebel - The Drones: The Drones have a lot of good songs about how it’s the end of the world and we’re all fucked and we’re all gonna die but this is one of my favourites. The sort of wide ranging scientific nihilism of an opening line like 'strontium 90, removed from milk’ really sets the tone for the rest of this song as it lays out every war like an ongoing nightmare that you have no option but to participate in as your body and the earth turn to muck in their wake.

How Sweet It Is - Karen Dalton: Everyone always talks about Karen Dalton as this mercurial folk phenomenon but I really love her second album where she just does standards with a full band. Hearing her bring her insane, complete chaos sense of rhythm to these regular-ass songs is such a delight to me. The way she just swoops in on the first line with absolutely no regard for whatever else is going on really cracks me up. That the song has backing vocalists for the chorus just makes it better, I imagine them singing while glancing at each other with panicked eyes as she just wildly darts around the microphone and sings absolutely whenever.

Bang Bang - Vanilla Fudge: Pitchfork had some video about the origins of heavy metal and I lasted about ten seconds becuase they mentioned a 60s psychedelic metal forerunner named Vanilla Fudge and my brain went 'funy’ so I looked them up instead. This song is a nightmare I absolutely love it, there’s simply not enough organs around anymore. The organ sounds absolutely immense and balanced against their cursed harmonies it sounds even bigger, what a jam.

Ride For Me (feat. Young Thug & 24 Hrs) - A-Trak and Falcons: Young Thug has finally brought back his insane Harambe voice and I for one couldn’t be happier. I have no idea who 24hrs is but he for real sounds like when Justin Beiber first came out so that’s a thrill.

Space Song - Beach House: This might be the platonic ideal of a Beach House song, it’s just beautiful and I don’t think I really have anything more to say about it. Beach House put out two albums in 2015, they put out the on that this song is on and then like three weeks later they surprise released another one and I was so shocked by the deluge of content that I have never listened to the second one. A powerful lesson for Beach House.

Anna - Will Butler: This song is so good I have no recollection of what the rest of the album sounds like, I just listen to this song over and over and over. Every part is good. The brass, the 'ba ba ba’s, they way he says 'you Got to get Mo-nay’, the piano breaks that sound like he’s just slamming it with flat hands. What a gift.

Hawkmoon 269 - U2: Here’s the straight up truth that nobody wants to hear: Rattle And Hum is U2’s best album. It’s literally just The Joshua Tree except better. It’s every bad instinct of U2 turned up to 11, which is what makes it good. He mentions preachers like twenty times on this album and there’s a gospel choir on two songs, it’s all happening all the time.

Silver And Gold - U2: Here also, is the straight truth: this is U2’s best song. A proper straight up political song about a specific idea, incredible instrumentation and Bono realising halfway through his speech that the crowd unfortunately does not care about Desmond Tutu’s request for economic sanctions against South Africa.

Hunting For Witches - Bloc Party: Post 9/11 war on terror indie is such a good genre. Kele’s always been a bit of a lame-o and he’s really on display here but when the instrumentation bangs like this it’s forgivable. Bloc Party have always seemed like a band where absolutely everyone is pulling their weight and doing the most in every single song and this is a good example. The drums! Matt Tong deserves a trophy!

All Of The Lights - Kanye West: I literally remember where I was the first time I heard the drums in this song, that’s how good it was. I can’t believe I only just found out that every single famous person features on this song. I thought it was just Rhianna but it turns out it’s La Roux in the 'fast cars shooting stars’ bit, Cudi in the 'getting mine’ bit, and fucking Fergie in the 'unemployment line’ part PLUS Elton John and Alicia Keys in the outro? This song is ridiculous. It’s almost a shame that such an incredible song in every aspect features some of Kanye’s most boneheaded verses but I suppose that’s what I love about him.

Let’s Hear It For The Boy - Deniece Williams: I’d like to invite you all now to stand and give a round of applause for my dipshit miser boyfriend that dresses like shit and can’t sing, I love him. I love this song a lot because I feel like she’s talking about me. This is a great song that’s right at the top of my long list of potential wrestling entrance themes.

Hey! - The Go! Team: I was premature when I said that new Go Team album wasn’t that great because it is in actuality very very good. This song would make a good wrestling theme too now that I think of it.

Monument - Royksopp & Robyn: I put the T.I.E. version of this song on my list last month and that prompted me to give the original another listen because it’s honestly just as good in a totally opposite direction. A long bit of space-jazz instead of a monolith threatening to crush you.

Merrymaking At My Place - Calvin Harris: My friend sent me this song and said it reminded him of Mother! which is very funny in my opinion. Loads of people come to my house, they take stuff inside of my house, and smoke stuff outside of my house, lots of people at my front door, lots of people in my front door, trying to get into my house. At my place [leaning into the mic] Baby. [panicked] Baby at my place.

Precious Lord (Take My Hand) (Parts 1 & 2) - Aretha Franklin: I was searching spotify for a good version of The Day Is Past And Gone and ended up finding this Aretha Franklin album that is absolutely incredible. It turns out it’s her first ever recording from when she was 14, which is mind boggling. It sounds like it was recorded from the back row of the church so it has this incredible amount of space to it and she just completely fills it with immense power. Even her piano playing is amazing. The whole thing is just an astonishing piece of music.

Big Iron - Marty Robbins: I was camping this month and thinking about country music, and so this and the next few songs are the result of that. I think Taylor Swift should not only pivot back to county for her next album but pivot back to this kind of cowboy story-song country. She should, in fact, just cover this song. This is The cowboy album and I feel like Marty Robbins may have been the most American man that ever lived, he used the money he made from cowboy songs to finance a NASCAR career.

Country Dumb - Josh T. Pearson: I spent a long time on the fence about Josh T. Pearson because music like this always raises the question of authenticity. He sort of feels like the country version of Nick Cave to me, straining for a very very authentic thing but in actuality a Berlin art boy. The main difference between Pearson and Cave though is that Pearson is actually very good. So I reconcile it by telling myself he’s a sort of Lana Del Rey character singer or something like that. This song is so great and I especially like his guitar style of letting the words lead and the guitar follow, where the lyrics are at the forefront and every part of the music is purely in support of them. 

Angel From Montgomery - John Prine: I’m so glad that John Prine is enjoying a bit of a late life resurgence in popularity among the Youth right now because he really deserves it. He feels like the songwriter that every songwriter loves but nobody else has ever heard of. I love this song, it feels like it was custom built to be some 70 year old country woman’s 'Hurt’.

Bogota Affair - Kid Creole And The Coconuts: A good and tropical song about getting cucked on an island and absolutely loving it.

Mientras La Veo Sonar - Rx Bandits: I figured out the reason I like this song and it’s honestly just that it sounds like watered down Mars Volta and I’ll take all of that you’ve got.

Joan, I’m Disappearing - City Calm Down: The way the first line of this song is an unexpected anacrusis makes me laugh cause it feels like the guy from The National just suddenly stepping into your room and collapsing into a seat to complain. I absolutely love this song, I’ve been listening to it on repeat. It’s melodically brilliant in the chorus, it just keeps giving, and structurally it never gets boring by just getting bigger and expanding the entire time to this huge emotional outpouring. I love the lyrics to this song because they’re so pathetic, which sounds like a strange and cruel thing to say but it’s true. It’s such a specific misguided melodramatic plea for a childish love that went on for too long and it’s just so heartbreaking and pathetic, and when it’s turned up to the emotional peak it’s believable and you sympathise. I wish this song went for five minutes more.

Footsteps - Dardanelles: This album was the critical darling of Australian music in 2006 and then this band just totally disappeared and I couldn’t find it for a long time before someone added it to spotify last year and now all their songs have <1000 plays. Very mysterious. I go through stages of being totally obsessed with this song, every part of it is just my favourite kind of pretentious art rock shit. 'This trail of breadcrumbs below your feet whispers like muscle cars on heat’? That’s good lyrics!

Queen Majesty - Techniques: I heard this song late at night when I was listening to ABC RN to fall asleep and some old guy was explaining how rocksteady was better than reggae and now I agree with him.

Opal (Four Tet Remix) - Bicep: The way this song builds around the central strong chords is just incredible, it’s a really simple motif and the way it comes back and sits foundationally through the whole piece. I love in the later half how the extra off-time melodies that seem to have no relation at all to the just come swooping through and almost destabilise the whole thing before those strong strong chords come through again. Also I have a strong suspicion that the snare sound in this is just Four Tet slapping his desk which I respect.

Jesus Came To My Birthday Party - The Middle East: I can’t overstate how much this song is directly wired to my brain stem. It is just perfect. This song is so simple but it feels like it came from another dimension to impart wisdom to me. It honestly makes me feel crazy. This whole album feels like the long lost brother of In The Aeroplane Over The Sea thematically and it really deserves a similar spot in the canon in my opinion. Please listen to it.

Eden - Talk Talk: The dynamics in the guitar playing is what really gets me in this song. The huge crescendo where it feels like the sound is being pulled apart from the inside dissipating to steam as soon as the groove kicks in. I don’t know, there’s not much to be said about Spirit Of Eden that hasn’t already been said, it’s transcendental music. It’s cliched but this is great driving music, music to space out and think about the universe to.

Outlaw Blues - Queens Of The Stone Age: What a treat to suddenly discover that one of my favourite bands has covered my favourite Bob Dylan song and done a great job of it too!

No Condition Is Permanent - Marijata: Ok this is embarrassing but the way I found out about this song was some goober on the overwatch subreddit had made playlists for every hero (Torbjorn’s was all electo-swing and pirate metal so who knows what the fuck was going on) and this and the next song were both on the Doomfist playlist, which was a lot of 70s afro-funk and highlife music which personally isn’t really telling the full story of Doomfist but that’s a whole other post. Anyway this song is great, and I’m glad I listened to this whole dumb-ass playlist to find it. I have a real affinity for songs like that that feel like the recording only ended cause they ran out of tape or the singer collapsed from exhaustion. This song could go for another 20 minutes and I’d only love it more.

Love And Death - Ebo Taylor: The groove of the drums in this song and the melodies of the horns are just hypnotising, and combined with the lyrics this feels like some very dark magic that I completely love. The guitar is really amazing in this as well actually, especially the solo where he switches back and forth between jazz soloing and just frantically strumming open chords.

Automatic (12" Version) - The Pointer Sisters: Huge fan of the extremely powerful megaman synth that comes in about halfway through this song and just charges the whole place up. I love how rich and deep her voice is, how it’s built on by the harmonies in the prechorus and then unleashed in the chorus. I also love how simple the chorus is, it doesn’t overshadow the rest of the song and the verses are just as good which is exactly what you want from a long mix like this. Huge fan of the deep guy’s voice just saying 'au-to-ma-tic’ during the fade out too, give that guy some more to do.

White Girl - Soul Coughing: Lyrically most Soul Coughing songs sound like somewhere between echolalia and reading out every street sign that you see, which is very appealing to me because that’s essentially how I communicate, but this one feels like a dire warning about an approaching conqueror. Also the ending of this song make me laugh because it’s the same as at the end of New Noise by Refused where he just screams 'THE NEW BEAT’ over and over and over after the instruments have all finished and in my eyes that’s a very very funny thing to do with the phrase 'white girl’.

Tone Tone Tone & Tone Tone Two - Shuta Hasunuma and U-zhaan: This album feels like some real Tiny Mix Tapes-core; a collaboration between two Japanese composers - a found object orchestra composer and a tabla player but against all odds it’s actually good. Unfortunately my favourite part of it is this 13 second piece of music that sounds like the brand ID for a very high-end podcast network.

I Won’t Be Found - The Tallest Man On Earth: I listened to this song eight times in a row and sang along the whole time on my drive home from work the other day. His voice is so uniquely good, a cowboy yodel with a slight swedish accent. I’m hooked right from when he sings 'morning’ as 'morning-AH’.

Now U Got Me Hooked - A.A.L: I can’t get over how good this new Nicolas Jaar side project album is. It’s just wall to wall bangers, a perfect party album. I love the really raw sound of a lot of the drums in this song; the huge clap that’s on the edge of being over-distorted mixed with a huge rumbling kick blowing out the low frequency that eventually cleans up and brings the sample back in and almost eliminates the bass entirely before it drops again and the sequence starts over. I love how long a lot of the songs on this album are, every idea is given so much room to completely stretch out.

Ride - Lana Del Rey: I saw Lana live last night and as soon as the first notes of this song played the girl in front of me absolutely screamed 'BITCH!!’ and I felt a real kinship with her. I really think this might be my favourite song of hers. It makes me so emotional every time and I can’t even pinpoint why. The way she sings 'fucking crazy’ the huge, sweeping chorus. It’s just amazing, I love her so much! Bitch!!

listen here

[wall-e-gorl]

Aaaaaaah! I was tagged by @i-drifting

Rules: tag 20 followers who youd like to get to know better (i,,,, will be tagging the ones who are in my notes a lot if that's ok)

Nicknames: Tori (family only), Vic (friends only)

Gender: Cis gorl

Star sign: Capricorn (imma goat mermaid)

Height: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh 5 ft 2? I think?

Sexuality: Im Ace if you can't tell by everything I blog about

Fav animal: Real, tie between cat and dog, "Not" Real, Dragon for sure. (I've been playing a dragon pet site for a year I better like them lmao)

Avg hrs of sleep: well. I usually go to sleep like 1-2 am, and wake up 10-11, so.... that's 8-9 during the summer (It's less during school.)

Cats or dogs: UHHHHHHHHHHH Dogs. Just cause of Luna but o love them both

# of blankets: 1-4, depending on when I sleep the temp if there's an animal with me and how I slept the night before

Dream trip: uuhhhhh I have no idea

Dream job: I think it's a vet tech? But I've been thinking too much recently so maybe something with numbers and less people or artsy and less people

Song of the week: I mean, it's a always song but I've listened to Africa by Toto a lot the past few days

Things I find comforting: being Covered by blankets, petting soft things (like my new pillow test imma ramble about in the tags), music drowning out everything or quiet, uhhh pretty things

Tagging! These people (if you want to!) and anyone who wants to do it: @dramallamaping @confectionerygarbage @natwolfender @homosexual-et @fingergunss @starrys0ul @slushiebi @bluethisisforyou (8 is close to 20 right?)

[pensivespacepirate]

I've been noticed and tagged by @desertcryptidgay and I'm screaming!!!!!!!

In fact I've not stopped screaming from yesterday and just doubled the volume

1.) What is on your mind right now?

Screaming and realizing I've dragged my friend down into existential dread

2.) Who are some of your closest friends?

Friend from Q1! Let's call her A for now and she does stupid stuff with me!

3.) Where’s somewhere you want to travel right now?

The TARDIS because I want to explore!!the place!!!

And maybe the penumbra hotel??????????

And night vale but will prob break laws in minutes

4.) Favorite 📺 show/cartoon/anime/movie, and why’s it your favorite?

Cartoon has to be gravity falls!

And maybe doctor who the new season is coming up I'm exciteddddd

I liked ready player one & big hero 6!

I can't pick a fav from a lot of things!!,!I have issues with choices,,,,!!!,,!!!,

5.) Is there someone you’re missing?

I guess my sister I think we're further and further apart but she's relistening to night vale so yeeeeeeeee

also nuREYEV WHERE'S MA BOI

and dr maxwell I've just finished the 2 hr long special ep

6.) What are three goals you have for your future?

Survive cuz i am willing to give up at any second and it's kinda not good for my existence

Finish/get in the shows/podcasts and stuff I've wanted to watch/listen and it's a looooong list

Decide what to do with my life???????

7.) What are three goals you have for yourself?

Those up there in Q6!

Or be the first person to fly into a black hole

Or be a secret agent????gonna do a bad job tho I can tell

Stop sneezing

8.) What are some of your deepest fears?

Hmm idk....bugs??dying without knowing truths???

9.) Favorite song at the moment?

Flamingo by kero kero bonito!

Or the day goes on by bill wurtz!!

10.) Do you believe in the supernatural/paranormal?

Yes and no????I like the idea of it and hopes it can be real but I also want scientific explanations??.????

11.) What experience haunts you to this day?

Idk i have a shit memory

Maybe my past self???

Here're my questions! Feel free to answer even if I didn't tag you! And feel free to not answer if I tagged you!

Where are you from?

Favorite name? If they are a real person what are they like

Favorite element in the periodic table?(or compound)

hot or cold?

Abyss or void?

Do you believe in mountains? Are they alive?

What your definition of life?

@desertcryptidgay if you don't mind doing it! @allhailthevoid @teeth-crown @theconfusedbabelfish @everyoneprotector @purple-cherry-blossoms