Tumgik
#I’ve been wanting to draw this all week but had to work on commissions
thenamesblurrito · 2 years
Text
🫠
4 notes · View notes
yandere-daydreams · 7 months
Text
Title: Mesmerized.
Pairing: Yandere!Lyney x Reader (Genshin).
Word Count: 0.8k.
TW: Hypnosis, Unhealthy Relationships, General Lose of Autonomy, Implied Kidnapping, Implied Stalking, and Obsessive Behavior.
[Commissioned piece. Donate to Palestinians in Gaza here.]
Tumblr media
“You’re getting crueler, brother.”
Lynette watched you stir at the sound of her voice, nearly identical to that of your dearly beloved, but you slackened as soon as you realized it was only his sister, melting back into place against Lyney’s side. Your expression was one of vacant bliss; all glassy eyes and careless smiles, worry only visible in the dark circles laced under your eyes, the pained creases folded into either corner of your mouth. A poor imitation, altogether. You looked more like yourself when you were angry.
Lyney hummed, resting his head on your shoulder. As if trained to, you cooed softly and raised a hand, carding your fingers through his hair as he spoke, self-satisfaction heavy in his voice. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Is it cruel to want to spend time with one’s dearly cherished?”
“Father said not to let the public see them until—”
“—until we’ve fallen in love,” Lyney finished. It was a clipped summary, to say the least. In reality, Lord Arlecchino’s order had played more closely to the tune of ‘until you’ve collared your pet properly’, but admittedly, Lynette might’ve missed something. She and Freminet had been listening from the other side of a steel door, and Lyney hadn’t been eager to discuss their conversation after her lecture ended. “And I’m sure, if you bothered to ask, you’d already know that we’re quite in love. Aren’t we, beautiful?”
“Quite in love,” you parroted. There was something strange about your inflection, as if you were trying to speak in a language you hadn’t yet mastered, but Lynette chose not to dwell on it.
“And I’d hardly call this the public,” Lyney went on, when Lynette made it clear that she had yet to be impressed. He made a quick, sweeping gesture to the rest of the backstage area – as if the technicians and stage-hands rushing between lighting rigs and half-assembled props were no more real than the silhouetted figures painted onto the set dressing they were hauling into place. “Think of it as… a trial run, to see how much we’ve improved. If everything goes well tonight, perhaps we’ll be able to attend Father’s next banquet together, too. I’ve been dying to introduce them to the rest of our family – preferably without all the screaming and biting, this time.”
That, Lynette could admit, would probably be for the best. She still had a bruise in the shape of your teeth on her left wrist from the day she’d met you, but Lyney still claimed it’d been one of your better first impressions.
“I’ve always wanted to see one of your shows.” You were cupping Lyney’s face, now, using your thumb to draw tender circles into his cheek. “I’ve always loved the opera. You’re playing the male lead, right?”
Lynette pursed her lips, her eyes widening slightly as she turned her attention pointedly towards her brother. He looked away. “I’m still working out the kinks. By this time next week, it should all be right as rain.”
Reluctantly, Lynette let her attention shift back to you. Your sleeves were long, dense with lace and tulle, but a patch of reddened, raw skin where the shackle had been wrapped around your wrist was just barely visible underneath the frivolous material. There was a slight tremble in your stiff shoulders, and when she looked closely, she could see that you were swaying; your legs weak from disuse, barely able to hold your own weight. Her brother, on the other hand – she could remember the last time she’d seen him smiling so widely. He been in a state of pure, untethered euphoria since the moment you were dragged, kicking and swearing, into one of the Fatui’s lesser-used underground holding facilities, and she rarely saw him without a glint in his eye and a light flush painted over her cheeks. It was almost upsetting, to see a face so much like her own so distorted. If she hadn’t been so used to his sudden flurries of passion, she might’ve been disturbed.
“It can’t last.” Lyney straightened, but she didn’t give him a chance to cut in. “The—the trance, I mean. You’re a magician, not a hypnotist. It’s going to wear off, eventually.”
“I’ve always hated stage magic,” you muttered, dreamily. “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I hate feeling like I’m the only person who doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“It doesn’t need to last forever, just long enough.” This time, it was Lyney who caught your chin in his hand, pulling you just close enough for a quick, shallow kiss. Lynette looked away before she could be forced to endure yet another unabashed show of affection, but she could still hear him far too clearly when he spoke seconds later, his voice now nearly distant as your own.
“Until we both manage to forget how we could ever live apart.”
1K notes · View notes
jyoongim · 7 months
Note
Hiii
Alastor X human!reader where she is desperate to make a deal for fame and glory.
She tries to summon a demon, accidentally conjuring Alastor. Beside her feisty facade she’s quite innocent and naive. He’s intrigued by her and toys with her, like a prey,tricking her into him, she signs the deal. He’ll come back after 1yr to collect his pretty little prize…her body and soul. 🌶️🔥
Tumblr media
Title: A Price to Pay
part 2
You frowned at the check your boss had handed you.
Too little. You looked at your boss, a nervous smile on your lips as a laugh bubbled out of your throat ”haha this is half of what i should be getting. That’s funny, where's the rest? Am i getting that in cash or some?” Your boss laughed “HA! No thats what you’re getting for the week‘
Your eyes damn near popped out of your head.
 For the week?
This was your pay for the entire week?
Oh hell no!
You poked a finger into the mans chest “What?! The whole week? I’ve been singing my ass off in this shit hole for two weeks! Where are my commissions?” You were angry! 
He gave a low laugh as he pulled out a cigar ”You think just because you’re my best in this joint that I wasn’t gonna get the Final Cut? You better take it before i hand your ass nothing”
You sniffled as you wiped at your runny nose.
The yellow paper with EVICTION stared at you as you felt another wave of tear hit you.
Why? 
Why couldn’t you just make enough to stay afloat?
Why did you have to suffer?
Why didn’t fate grant you mercy?
You had been busting your ass for months trying to make enough money to just pay the damn pills.
You were the best singer on your side of town and that shit hole needed a singer almost every night and when big shots went there. The money wasn’t terrible, it beat standing out on the pier at night, waiting to be taken to gods know where.
You laughed dryly, you would gladly get pimped out if it meant that you could still afford food to eat.
Why was life so cruel?
You had worked so hard and it felt like it was all for nothing.
You could hear your momma in your head
”You wanna dream big? Then never let life beat you down. Take it by the balls and make your dream a reality”
The next thing you know, you found yourself pulling out your mother’s old grimoire and drawing symbols on your bedroom floor.
what the hell were you doing?
You used to scoff at your mother when she did spells. 
Because magic wasn’t real…right?
But it felt like you had no other option as you threw some herbs into the small fire pot.
Momma used to tell you about all types of things that were possible with a little magic. That you always had friends on the other side who could help if you knew what you doing.
And you indeed had no fucking clue.
But you were tired, angry, and desperate and wanted to do something about it.
This was your life!
You felt your body tingle as you chanted the incantation.
The room turned cold and the fire from the candles blew out. The building started to shake as you spoke the last verse and suddenly you were thrown back from an explosion in the middle of your pentagram.
You watched in terror as the floor glowed red and rising from the smoke was a very large demon.
You panicked as it began to stand, gulping at its full height.
Oh what did you just do?
—————————————————
Alastor blinked as he stood. Fanning the smoke away from his face, he grimaced once he saw the pentagram, candles, and herbs. Who dared? His ears perked at the sound of heavy breathing. He turned his head and red eyes caught sight of a mortal woman standing against the wall, eyes wide.
He took a step towards her, head tilting as she cowered away. He huffed as he got to the edge of the protection boundary. He gave her a smile, sharp teeth glistening with narrowed eyes 
“Hello my dear”
——————————————————————
You took in the tall demon that stood in your bedroom.
He was dressed like one of those fancy gents.
Red and black tailored suit with a cane.
You watched as he curled his lip when he saw your protection boundary. You felt your body freeze as his eyes met yours.
Red.
Glowing red. 
He was rather handsome looking for a demon. 
He reminded you of-
“Deer” you squeaked, causing Alastor to tilt his head, ears flicking.
oh come on! You can’t be scared of something that you’re in control of!
”Hello my dear” you heard him say. He stood on the cusp of the salt boundary giving you his full attention.
That smile of his was very uncanny.
You shivered.
You found your nerves and puffed your chest out
”Hello demon-sir”
”Alastor” you blinked at him “w-what?”
He never lost that smile “The names Alastor. Pleasure to meet you” you were at a lost for words.  Alastor took your silence to look around, your spellbook caught in his attention before he took you in.
You cleared your throat “I summoned-” “conjured” “You to um make a deal?” You said uncertain
Alastor smirked “oh reallly? And what makes you think Ill make a deal with a human like you?”
You frowned ”You don’t have a choice! I summoned YOU here you have to do what I ask!’
He laughed darkly “Oh my dear that isn’t how things work” he looked back at the salt ”lets chat”
You didn’t trust him, but he seemed friendly girl don’t do it
you inched close and with a sweep of your foot, dusted a bit of the salt to let him through.
Alastor stepped through and now you were being towered over.
Alastor took you in.
what a small thing you were. He was sure you had no idea what you were doing or dealing with.
But if it was deal you wanted, he will grant that.
”What do you want?”
You wrung your hands nervously as you spilled your sad excuse of a life and your far fetched dream.
You felt a surge of determination as you finished your little rant “That’s why I need a deal! I deserve to rise to the top! I’ve worked my ass off for years and nothing! Why-Why should I settle for this? My life deserved to be full of glamor and money! I deserve that right? Right! S-s-so what do you say”
Oh what an innocent thing you were.
Such a fire that had nowhere to burn.
Perfect 
Alastor feigned mulling it over, your face dropping as he walked away from you.
”A deal works both ways my dear”he started as he turned back to you “What will you give me in return?” His smile stretched across his face as his calm facade faded.
You gulped but you were not gonna back out “Ill give you anything j-just please I don’t care what I have to do!”
He was in front of you in a flash, making you take a step back nervously 
“Anything?” A clawed hand squished your cheeks hard as he leaned his face to yours
”prove it” he purred
You blinked.  How the hell were you suppose to do that?
Nothing in this world is free. Your momma taught you that and your warning bells were screaming.
His thumbs was running over your lips and you opened your mouth to suck it.
You could die right now. Was this worth it? To give up your dignity to a demon?
Alastor growled and in a swift motion, you were on your bedroom floor, heart thumping in your ears as you looked up at the demon on top of you.
Alastor’s free hand swiped down your body, tearing your clothes to shreds, leaving you naked.
You felt a soft heat curl in your stomach.
Alastor laughed darkly as he took in your naked form. His hand dipped down and thumbed at the small bundle of nerves, causing you to jolt.
Oh he was going to have fun with you
”One year.” He said as he dipped a finger into your tight heat.
You gasped around his finger.
”You’ll get your fame. You’ll have riches and power beyond your imagination. A top star. It’ll all be yours. But in one year you are mine. Your soul and body. Do we have a deal?” He was slowly fingering you, relishing in the softness your cunt offered as it squeezed around him.
Your body and soul in exchange for glory.
Did you still want this?
”yes” you whimpered
A green glow emitted around the two of you. Alastor eyes glowed and his antlers grew as he plucked his thumb from your mouth and slammed his lips onto yours as he rubbed your clit as he slammed his fingers into you.
”mmmhmm hmmm!’ You cried into his mouth as your orgasm hit you.
Your cunt clenched around him, creamy slick drowning his hand.
Your body buzzed as he retracted his fingers, watching in bliss as he licked your cum off his fingers.
”Oooh such a sweet cunt” He Purred at you as he scooped you up into his arms to lay you on your bed.
”Ill always keep close watch my dear, so don’t think you can back out of this” he said, you blinked sleepily as you felt the coldness of a necklace clasped around your neck.
“One year my dear”
Your world faded to black.
pt 2 coming soon..hehehe
@thewinchestah @catherine1206 @stygianoir @jellibean2018 @markster666 @strawberrypimp666 @3verlark @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @alastwhore666 @gojosaturos-wife @tojirights @polytheatrix @dennsfz @horrorartsworld @prosciuttosblog @yourdoorisunlocked @dievia3 @alastorsdarling @t0byisher3 @mneferta @purplecatsandhearts @alishii @okay-babe @danveration @absurd-ash @peachedtv @simphornies @fatnug @alastorsdear @alastwhore666 @stawberrypimpsimp @altruisticalastor @queenariesofnarnia @scaramoochiie @rradio-static @someonethatsnotimportantplshelp @squeekycheesecurd @squixythebee @catmunist @lbcreations-blog @coleisyn @bratty2bunny @v0xsw1fe @alstorloml @fizzled-phoenix @siiv3r @k1y0yo @yunimimii @wisteria-seal @kassa-stardust
1K notes · View notes
nattcatart · 5 months
Text
Emergency commissions!!!
0/612$
For some background I’m a 22 year old trans guy who is currently trying to make it through nursing school. I’ve had a really rough go financially and in life the last few months- I had to get emergency thyroid surgery in the middle of my first semester of nursing school- and my grandmother was murdered just two weeks after my recovery. This has led me to being out of work for a extended period of time due to the stress of surgery recovery- now having hypothyroidism and grief- all ontop of school. So I’ve been surviving this semester paycheck to paycheck without getting to get a lot of money in savings.
So my college just informed me that my scholarship will not be able to cover my summer semester- I am required to take summer classes to stay in the nursing program. The total that I’ll have to pay in two weeks is 612$.
I don’t typically ask for help like this but I’m at a loss at what else to do- so I’m going to open up emergency commissions.
Here are some examples and starting prices. The way I’m doing these commissions is the starting price is the lowest price I will accept for that commission style- and if you want to pay above that feel free! These commissions will be discounted due to the urgent need of this situation
I can draw pretty much anything! I mostly do dnd character art- and flight rising dragon art- but I’ve done a wide range of commissions in the past! I’m comfortable with furries- robots- humans- animals.
Prices start from highest to lowest!
Full scenes: 45+
Tumblr media
Painted fullbody basic background: 35+
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Character reference sheet/ fullbody with no background 20-30+
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Half bodies: 15+
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Headshots :5-10$+
Tumblr media Tumblr media
These commissions will have a long turnaround time! Can’t start working full time on them until after finals on may 13th. I will try my best to provide sketches before then ! Please don’t commission if this timeframe does not work with you!
Can do PayPal/cashapp for payment
If you can’t afford any of these options feel free to message me! I’m willing to do sketch commissions as well!! Thank you for reading this far down and let me know if you have any questions
220 notes · View notes
Text
Hidden embers
Chapter 3
Tumblr media
Chapter summary: Joel needs help with his yard, you need help with figuring your feelings out
A/N: Im so excited you guys have been liking this!! last chapter was a good one, but this is my favorite so far. I also started a tag list so if y’all want to be part of that comment down here <3 Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: No outbreak AU, Age gap, DBF!Joel, Mean!Joel if you squint, some accidental physical contact lol, sexual tension but no smut
Series masterlist
Tumblr media
“You can’t spend your whole summer doing nothing. You should really find something productive to do while you’re back home.”
Four years of college, every summer break, and most holidays spent working to cover tuition and other expenses—a lifetime of never catching a break until now—and that’s what your mother tells you after just two weeks of "doing nothing"?
You knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time before she decided to insert herself into your life and dictate your every move. It’s nothing you haven’t dealt with before. “I’ve been helping out around the house,” you say, trying to sound casual.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, “that’s not what I meant. You can’t be locked up in here all day. People will think you’re wasting your life away. I’ve been asking around at the town’s pageant commission, and they would be absolutely delighted to have you around to help us organize this year’s Teen Country Queen Pageant.”
There it was. Nothing your mother did was ever for anyone’s interests other than herself. If she had no interest in parading you around her pageant organizer friends, you were absolutely sure she couldn’t care less what you did with your days.
Right on cue, just before you’re about to give her a piece of your mind, your dad walks in. “What’s the long face for?”
“Oh, Hank, great! You can back me up here. I was telling her she needs to find something to do with her days. All this lazing around can’t be good for her. My friends at the—”
“Actually, I was thinking the exact same thing,” your dad says, surprising both of you.
“Really?” you ask incredulously. For all his flaws, your dad has never been one to meddle in your affairs.
“Yeah, Joel has been complaining about his front and back yard looking like shit since Cindy left.”
“Hank! Language!” your mom’s voice rises to that ear-shattering pitch she uses when she’s trying to be stern.
“Sorry, looking terrible since Cindy left,” your dad corrects himself, laughing it off. Sometimes he forgets he can only be that relaxed when he’s alone with you; your mom is a whole different ballgame.
“Um… Cindy?” you ask, drawing a blank on the name.
“The ex-wife. That’s not the point, kiddo. The point is he’s been whining about it for the longest time but is always too lazy to figure out gardening by himself. Then I remembered you were in the gardening club back in high school. It’d be nice of you to offer him some help. Poor man doesn't know how to keep a cactus alive.”
“Dad, that was ages ago. I don’t know if I remember much of it anyway. I only joined for my college applications,” you retort.
“It’s just a few plants and flowers here and there. How hard can it be? He even said he bought everything he should need for it but never got ‘round to actually doing it, so it’s all laid out for ya.”
Your choices were clear: spend however long it took to finish Joel’s yard while pretending you don’t have a massive crush on your dad’s best friend, or run around town with your mom organizing a beauty pageant. The decision wasn’t hard at all.
“I’ll go over and check it out.”
Tumblr media
The walk to Joel’s house should’ve been short—barely a five-minute stroll up the road—but a nasty crack in the pavement had other plans. You were so lost in your thoughts today that you missed it entirely, stepping right into the trap.
Alright, maybe it wasn’t just today. You’ve been in your head ever since you first saw Joel standing at the bottom of your stairs. The way his hands had gripped your arms, steadying you, had left an imprint that you couldn’t seem to shake. And now, here you were, back in that same position, your mind consumed by this man who seemed to be as bad for your sanity as he was for your attention span.
So what should’ve been a walk up the road turned into a drawn-out pause as you sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the sharp pain in your twisted ankle to dull.
About ten minutes later, you finally make it to Joel’s lawn. You brace yourself to climb his porch stairs, pretending your ankle wasn’t bothering you, when you notice his garage door open. You hadn’t seen him from your previous angle, but as you got closer, the view of Joel's back muscles came into frame. And what a view that was. He was leaning over his truck, completely absorbed on whatever needed fixing under that hood.
For a moment, you just stand there, staring at the way his shirt clings to the sweat glistening on his skin. It takes a few seconds to remember that it isn’t socially acceptable to ogle someone from their front lawn, so you clear your throat and take a few more steps toward him.
“Hey” he greeted you, looking up from his work.
“Hey, yourself” you say back, playing it as cool as you could. It wasn’t a particularly hot day, but Joel's face glisten with sweat, as do his arms and you don’t not even want to think about what’s going on under that t-shirt.
“Come to pay me a visit?” he asked with a smirk
“My dad didn’t tell you? I’m your gardener for the day… or however long it takes to make your front lawn and back yard pretty.”
Joel’s response is a breathy laugh, followed by him dropping his head between his forearms resting on the truck.“My gardener, huh?” he finally brings his eyes back up to meet yours. “Your daddy don’t know how to mind his own business, do he, sweetheart?”
Let’s unpack that. This motherfucker didn’t just throw in a new pet name you’d be replaying in your mind at any random moment of the day, but he also said it in that tone he seems to reserve only for you—or so you hoped, at least.
And that other word coming from his lips… you were aware people in the south used it more casually, without the connotation it had in your mind, but the way it sounded coming from him…
Oh, it made you think of a million ways Joel Miller could say the word Daddy in plenty of different contexts.
You quickly drop your gaze, hoping to hide the intense blush creeping up your cheeks. “I uh… I’m afraid not.”
The sound of his boots on the garage floor pulls you back to reality as he steps closer. “You don’t gotta do this, y’know?” His tone shifts, becoming more serious. “It’s no big deal, I’ll get to this mess eventually.”
You look up at him once again, more desperate than you’d like to admit. “Joel, I’ve been cooped up in my house with my mother and her pageant friends for weeks now. Please, give me an excuse to be anywhere else.”
A chuckle. You could live for those, make it your entire profession to earn them. You really need to calm the fuck down and get a grip if you were to spend the entire day around this man.
“Alright, then. If it’ll make you happy, I’m not gonna say no” says before turning back into the garage. He returns with a small crate filled with gardening tools and a few potted plants, setting them down on the grass. “Got most of what you’ll need here. Not much, but it’s a start.” His gaze drops to your ankle. “You doin’ alright? You’re limping.”
You wave off his concern, not wanting to admit just how much your ankle is actually bothering you. “It’s nothing, just a little misstep on my way here . I’m fine, really.” You flash him a smile you hope is convincing enough.
Joel studies you for a moment longer, then nods. “Alright, but if it gets to be too much, you let me know, okay? Last thing I need is you hurtin’ yourself on my account.”
“Deal,” you lie. There’s no way in hell you’re backing out of this now.
He gestures toward the mess of overgrown grass, weeds, and flower beds that haven’t seen attention in who knows how long. “I guess that’s the worst of it. Clearing out the weeds should leave enough space for these plants. Don’t overthink it, I trust your instincts.”
You take your first good look at the pots he brought from the back of the garage. “Oh, daisies! They’re my favorite.” You glance up at him, sweetness lacing your tone.
He pauses, something unreadable passing over his face. “ ‘Course they are.” He says, the corners of his mouth tugging up a bit. “Well, let me know if you need anything else. I'll be working over there.”
With Joel back under the hood, you set to work on the lawn. Despite the dull throb in your ankle, you find a steady rhythm in the repetitive motions—pulling out stubborn roots, digging small holes for the flowers, and patting down the soil around them. It’s oddly satisfying, watching the neglected garden start to come to life under your hands. You’ve always had a knack for taking rugged things and making them pretty.
Every so often, you glance over at Joel, who’s completely engrossed in whatever he’s tinkering with under the hood. The way his muscles flex as he works, the concentration etched on his face and how it makes him look a lot more serious than he ever is when talking to you—it’s hard to not get distracted.
There’s something about him, something that pulls you in despite your better judgment, despite every self-preservation instinct in you. Maybe it’s the way he makes you feel grounded, even when your mind is spinning out of control. It’s such a foreign concept for you, you’ve always been the one who has to defuse tensions, be the bigger person, manage the chaos. It’s never like that with Joel.
You’re careful to keep your ankle steady, not wanting to give Joel any more reason to worry. But as the hours pass and the sun climbs higher, you can feel the strain starting to build. Ever the overachiever, you push through it, there isn’t much left to get done in the front lawn anyway.
By the time you’ve planted the last of the daisies, you’re more than a little proud of yourself. There are still a few bare spots here and there and a handful of marigold pots waiting to be planted, but the lawn is starting to look less like a jungle and more like somewhere you’d actually want to spend time in. You wipe your brow, satisfied.
Joel must’ve noticed you slowing down because he calls out from where he’s working, “How’re you holding up? You thirsty?”
You hadn’t realized how parched you were until he mentioned it. “Yeah, a drink sounds good.”
Joel gives you a quick once-over, his eyes lingering on your ankle for a moment longer than you’d like. But he doesn’t say anything as he leads the way into the house, holding the door open for you.
The cool air inside is a welcome relief from the midday sun, and you sigh as you step into the kitchen. Joel pulls a couple of glasses from the cupboard and fills them with ice water, handing one to you. You take a sip, feeling the cold liquid soothe your dry throat.
You lean against the counter, trying to take some weight off your bad ankle. But as soon as you shift your weight, a sharp pain shoots up your leg, and you can’t hold back the small whine that escapes your lips.
Joel’s eyes snap to yours, his brow furrowing with concern. “You sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, Joel. I’m fine,” you insist, even though you know you’re not fooling him. “It’s just—”
“ ‘S that why you’re whining every time you put weight on it?”
“It’s just a bit sore. Don’t—”
Before you can finish, Joel’s on you in a flash, closing the distance between you. He’s careful but firm as he lifts you effortlessly, setting you down on the kitchen counter. “Let me see.”
“Joel, really, it’s not a big deal,” you start to protest, but the look he gives you silences any argument you might have had.
“Humor me,” he says, his voice low and steady. There’s a note of authority there that makes your heart race. There’s no disobeying him when he uses that tone.
You sigh dramatically, letting him gently take your injured ankle in his hands. His touch is warm, and the way his fingers graze your skin sends shivers down your spine. He inspects your ankle with a seriousness that makes your heart flutter, his brows knitted in concentration.
“This is more than a ‘little misstep,’” he looks back up, his eyes stern and serious. He slowly drops your leg, turning back to reach into the freezer and pull out a pack of frozen peas. He presses it against your ankle, holding it there with one hand while his other hand lingers on your calf.
It doesn’t take long for his thumb to start brushing up and down in a way that feels more comforting than it should. He starts adding a little pressure to his touch, the lingering touch from before turning into a massage up and down your calf.
Your breath catches as you look down at him, the way he’s so focused on taking care of you. The tenderness in his touch is at odds with the roughness of his hands, and the combination is making it hard to think straight. It’s even harder to keep the little sounds his touch arises in you contained, some of them escaping out of your parted lips despite your best efforts.
“Joel,” you start, your voice softer now, almost hesitant.
He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken. His hand is still on your leg, his face overtaken by a dark expression you hadn’t seen on him until now.
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The air between you feels charged, like something unspoken is hovering just out of reach. You can feel it in the way his grip on your leg tightens ever so slightly, in the way his breathing seems to sync with yours.
And then, as if realizing where his hand is, Joel slowly pulls back. “I should get you back home, let you rest that ankle.”
You frown slightly, the way he spoke such a stark contrast to the tenderness of his touch still lingering on your leg. “I’m alright. I’m gonna have to be kneeling down for most of what’s left anyways, so I won’t be putting any weight on it.”
“No, it’s best if you just go. I’ll sort the lawn out later.”
The words hit you like a bucket of cold water. You’re left staring at him, confused by the sudden shift in his demeanor. Normally, your pride would keep you from asking, but something about Joel makes it impossible to let this go. “Did I… do something wrong?”
Joel pauses, his eyes softening for a split second before his expression hardens again. “No, you're fine. Thank you for your help, but I’m taking you home.”
He doesn’t leave room for discussion as he brushes past you, heading into the living room to grab his truck keys. Your chest tightens, the shame of the moment crashing down on you all at once.
Except… you didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t the one who was running her hands up and down his body, or pulling him close and throwing him on the counter like it was nothing. He did all that. He made you feel like something more was happening, and now he’s treating you like some desperate girl who threw herself at him, needing to be ushered out of his house as quickly as possible.
The ache in your heart is quickly overshadowed by a fiery rage, building more and more with each passing second. You turn sharply in the kitchen, your mind made up as you march toward the open door leading to the garage.
“Don’t bother,” you snap, your voice cutting through the silence as you head for the exit.
“What?” Joel turns around just in time to see you storming out.
You don’t even answer him, your steps quickening even as pain shoots up your leg with every movement.
“The hell are you doin’? You can’t walk home with that busted ankle,” he calls after you, his tone much harsher than it was just moments ago.
You laugh bitterly, not bothering to look back. This man clearly doesn’t know you and your stubborn ass well enough yet. “Oh, I’ll fucking live.”
Without another word, you push through the pain, taking it one torturous step at a time. Each step feels like defiance, a middle finger to your own pride and to Joel’s sudden coldness. But it’s better this way—better to feel the sharp sting in your ankle than the dull ache in your heart. The whole way home, you curse yourself for being so goddamn stubborn, even as the fiery rage keeps you moving forward.
Tag list:
@yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @untamedheart81 , @mellymbee
68 notes · View notes
vacantgodling · 22 days
Text
tl;dr i need help paying rent and health insurance this month. with the money from my recent paycheck, all i need is $263 (usd) to cover these expenses.
i hate to ask for money all the time but idk what else to do.
this month (august) was supposed to be great for getting my finances in order. i would be getting paid 3x, and i had a system that worked.
unfortunately things didn’t work out that way. this month has been the worst month this entire year:
the main issue is i caught covid (after 4 years of never having it once, i succumbed to people’s uselessness and having to go in person to work) and that kept me out of work for a week. the mini vacation was “nice” because my symptoms weren’t too bad, but the looming fear that i wouldn’t have enough for rent has now reared its head.
the week before, i already took 2 days off because my partner was informed their abusive father had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that sent them spiraling. he hasn’t kicked the bucket yet (ig cockroaches don’t die easily), but from what they said that week they thought he would pass by that sunday.
this past wednesday, the stress of their not so great extended family reaching out + grappling with this ended up with my partner having to go to the hospital for (tw) excessive vomiting—unable to keep water down and extremely dizzy. we were discharged that night thankfully once things calmed down and they are technically fine, just still resting and trying to slowly get back to eating normally. the drs weren’t able to determine what caused any of that to occur, but our current theory is just stress and not eating enough so stomach rebellion. i had to miss 4 hours of work to take them to the hospital so, my next paycheck is also gonna be short but not too terrible overall. i’m not really worried about it.
i don’t want to bore you all to death with all the details of all my other debts and struggles that i’m dealing with rn. i just want to illustrate how this week just fucked me over really badly. i’m currently the only one working between us bc my partner is disabled (and got denied disability for them last week so cool cool. love this country love it here).
and if it helps you feel more inclined to donate to me i’m black, queer, and transmasculine. marginalization bingo etc etc.
if you can’t spare anything i understand, i know we’re all broke and struggling and there’s other causes that are definitely more pressing. this isn’t a matter of life and death. just would really help to not have to get screwed over by this.
i offer commissions so if you wanna check my ko-fi -> https://ko-fi.com/vacantgodling/commissions
(just know there’s a small of a list rn, i haven’t been drawing as much as i need to for the commissions i do currently have and i’m sorry for that i’ve just been stressed out. thanks to everyone who’s ordered for their patience i’ll be getting to stuff as soon as i can)
but if you’d like to just donate to my paypal -> https://www.paypal.me/pinkpurgatory
if you don’t have anything to spare (which again, totally fine) please spread this around if you can i’d appreciate it.
thanks for reading and i hope you have a good day 💛
60 notes · View notes
nejis-desk · 7 months
Text
Jack Jeanne Complete Collection - Interview with Ishida Sui and Towada Shin Translation
This interview is from the Jack Jeanne Complete Collection art book, it’s available on CDJapan and Amazon jp. You can also purchase a digital only version on bookwalker jp. I encourage anyone reading to purchase the game (if you haven't already) or the art book itself to support Ishida and Towada directly. 💕
This is a VERY long interview so I apologise for any typos or errors I may have missed.
~ ~ ~
Tumblr media
An interview with Ishida Sui and Towada Shin, who both worked on writing the story of Jack Jeanne. In this interview they reveal what went on behind the scenes during production, rejected story ideas and much more. This interview was conducted remotely on the 9th of February 2021.
Interviewer: Yui Kashima
How did Ishida Sui end up making an otome game?
—How did the production of Jack Jeanne begin?
Ishida: It was sometime around Autumn 2015 I think… On an old personal site that I used to run, I received an email from the company Broccoli to an email address that I no longer use. It was a commission request for character designs.
—In 2015 Tokyo Ghoul was still being serialised wasn’t it?
Ishida: Yes. Usually job offers like that go through Shueisha first, so I contacted my editor asking why this one was sent to my private email…  At the time, in addition to working on Tokyo Ghoul, I was also drawing illustrations for a tear-off calendar and very busy with various other things, so when my editorial department heard about the offer they seemed very shocked like "What!?".
—Why did you decide to accept the offer even though you were so busy?
Ishida: I would often receive offers asking for me to draw manga or illustrations, so I figured that this one was a similar case. However, some words in the email caught my eye. Like ‘Gender Swap’, ‘Takarazuka’ and ‘All Boys Opera'. When I saw these concept ideas, a dream began to swell in my chest and I felt like giving it a try.
I think if it had just been a normal character design job, I would have turned it down. However just from reading the short brief in the email my interest was piqued. While in discussions with the Young Jump editorial department, I also casually mentioned the kind of offer I’d received to Towada-san.
Towada: Yeah, Ishida-san asked me for some advice. I was also drawn to the ‘Gender Swap’ and ‘Opera’ concepts. I could easily visualise the setting of the story. Additionally, it seemed like it would be a story that included many different themes such as gender. When I thought about that, I figured that Ishida-san would be a good fit, since I knew he would be able to draw something that went beyond all genders.
Ishida: I’ve been drawing androgynous characters for a long time, so Towada-san and I talked and wondered if that's what they must be looking for. After that, I created my own proposal and submitted it to Broccoli.
—You created your own proposal, Ishida-san?
Ishida: When I looked at the original proposal that Broccoli had sent me, a lot of it differed from my personal tastes. It was a very upbeat and dazzling story. It would’ve been hard for me to match my art style to that, so in my proposal I noted things like ‘if it were me, I’d do something more like this’. I was interested in this unpolished gem of a story, so I thought it would be a waste to turn it down altogether. I wanted to at least try throwing my own ideas into the ring, so I spent a week creating the six main characters and sent them in.
—At that time, I heard that the game wasn’t titled ‘Jack Jeanne’ yet, but was instead called ‘Jiemarie’.
Ishida: At first, I wanted to try creating a word that doesn’t exist. So using French as a base, I came up with ‘Jiemarie’ as the game's provisional title. But then a month later when I was reconsidering the title, I looked at it again and thought, damn this looks lame. So I hurriedly called Towada-san on Skype and we entered a discussion that lasted about ten hours over what the title should be.
That’s when we decided on ‘Jack Jeanne’. The male roles take the name from the knight, or the ‘Jack’ in a deck of playing cards. And the female roles ‘Jeanne’ take from the word parisienne and Jeanne d’Arc. When these two terms are put together, I feel like you can comprehend what the game is about with a bit of nuance. Plus you can shorten it to ‘JJ’… That’s also the title of a magazine though (lol).
—Taking on another job whilst your manga was being serialised sounds like it would be tough on you both physically and mentally.
Ishida: I think I must’ve been a bit unwell (lol). My body was fine, but being able to work on something other than a serialised manga was a lot easier on me mentally. I may have seen it as a way to escape, so I didn’t feel that working on two projects at the same time was difficult. When it comes to game development, I can only create what I’m capable of, and there was no set release date yet. Of course, I would work on and submit things whenever I could though.
—What kind of things would you submit?
Ishida: I would sketch character designs, discuss and create story elements with Towada-san and try to put Univeils history into chronological order. Then I would share the progress with Broccoli and have meetings and such with them. In the beginning, rather than having to draw anything yet, it was mostly just brainstorming and planning. That’s why I think I was able to do it all concurrently with the serialisation of my manga. 
~ ~ ~
How Ishida Sui and Towada Shin know each other
—Do you chat with Towada-san often?
Ishida: Well yeah, she is my older sister after all.
Towada: We talk a lot. When we both have the time we chat over Skype.
Ishida: Once we start the conversation can last up to five or six hours. We mostly talk about things that happened throughout our day. When I’m talking to someone I often bring up something that’s happened to me and ask their opinion on it. She became someone that I could chat with whilst working on my manga. Ever since my student days we’d talk until early morning, I usually told her about storyboards I’d drawn.
—At the Ishida Sui exhibition it was revealed that Towada-san had even given you advice on some of your earliest works.
Ishida: Yeah that’s right. It was a work I’d prepared for a 'bring your own work along' induction course in Tokyo that I attended back in my student days. It was a manga about two characters who eventually became the prototypes for Tsukiyama and Hori Chie in Tokyo Ghoul. It was only about 30 pages long, however when I showed it to Towada-san the day before the presentation, she told me that she thought my linework was too thin.
Towada: Yeah, the overall linework of the manga was thinly drawn. Once I told Ishida-san this thought, he began tracing over his linework and making it thicker. And then when he looked at it again, he said “Yep, I need to redraw the whole thing”.
The linework being too thin was only my personal opinion and the presentation was in Tokyo the next day, so in horror, I began hastily telling him, “You won’t make it in time, stop, stop!”
Ishida: All I could think about was that the lines really were too thin, so I wanted to redraw it. All of the screentones had already been affixed to the panels, but I didn’t want to bring something along with me whilst knowing it wasn’t the best that it could be.
Towada: Ishida-san handled the linework and I helped with redoing the screentones. We worked throughout the night and finished redrawing the whole manuscript. Once it was done, it wasn’t even comparable to the previous version, the lines were powerful and the characters' expressions conveyed a lot. I was seriously worried though (lol), I didn’t know if we’d complete it in time.
Ishida: I couldn’t think about anything other than the lines being too thin, so I wasn’t even worried about whether I had enough time or not.
Towada: I fell asleep halfway through, but you continued and boarded that Tokyo bound flight without having slept a wink, didn’t you?
Ishida: Yeah. I let Towada-san sleep and continued applying the screentones myself right up until the very last minute. I was still applying them whilst on the plane and also after my arrival in Tokyo. I used screentone number 10 a lot, so I remember the scenery around me gradually began to look grainy like the screentone. It felt as though I was hallucinating.
—Sounds like it was a tough manuscript to complete. Towada-san was also the author for the Tokyo Ghoul novels, has your relationship always been one akin to work partners?
Ishida: When it was decided that Tokyo Ghoul would be getting a novelisation, I was given other authors' works to look at. However, none of their styles really clicked with me, and they didn’t seem right for the series. I knew that Towada-san wrote, so I tried reaching out to her.
Although back in the days of Tokyo Ghoul’s serialisation, Towada-san and I didn’t talk as much as we do now. If I had any concerns I would just try and sort them out by myself. We’d always gotten along as brother and sister, however we didn’t really start to have a ‘work partners’ kind of relationship until we started working on Jack Jeanne together.
Towada: That’s true. Back then, we only occasionally conversed regarding the novelisation of Tokyo Ghoul. Before :re we only spoke once every few months over Skype. As Ishida-san said, it wasn’t until I started working on Jack Jeanne that we really started properly talking to one another.
—How often would you contact each other?
Towada: Depending on what stage we were at, we would bounce ideas off each other once every three or so days. Ishida-san would make a request like “I’d be happy if this part of the script was done within the next two weeks.” And then I’d present what I’d written and we’d discuss it and then I’d return to writing again. This process was repeated until Jack Jeanne reached its completion.
—Was Ishida-san the one that reached out to Towada-san to write the script of Jack Janne?
Towada: He didn’t ask me specifically to write the script, early in development he’d ask me to help with some research like “I’d like you to look up some information on this, could you help me?”. I’ve always liked ikusei games and within that genre I also enjoy romance and otome games. So I think that’s why it was easy for Ishida-san to consult me about it. We’ve had a common interest in games ever since we were kids.
Ishida: Back then I played games like ‘Pinnochia no Miru Yume’ and ‘Angelique’. I wanted to try and conquer Marcel in Angelique but it was one difficult game, so it was a tough task. Before I could even raise any flags with him, the training aspect of the game was so hard that no matter how many times I played I never got any good at it.
Towada: I’m the type that loves playing games, so after talking with Ishida-san, I went on to play every popular otome game that had been released around 2015, as well as every Broccoli published otoge. I completed every single character route in those games. I began analysing otome game trends and Broccoli’s brand identity and relayed my findings to Ishida-san. After that, I went along with the Jack Jeanne production team and Makasano Chuuji-san from Shueisha, who was the scriptwriter of the Tokyo Ghoul anime. We all visited the city of Takarazuka for research.
Ishida: I was also supposed to be there for the Takarazuka trip but since I had my manga to worry about, I had Towada-san go and take in the atmosphere in my place.
Towada: I did have to gather material but I think I visited Takarazuka a total of five or six times. From morning I would watch the Takarazuka theatre from afar and simply watch the guests move about, soaking in the atmosphere of the city.
Along with the Takarazuka plays, I also watched student plays, in total I probably went and watched one hundred shows. Theatre shows that are performed by professionals are fully realised and flawless. So getting to see the contrast to student plays, where they progress and improve until the show is complete was a very helpful reference.
I’ve always enjoyed watching plays, so everything I had to research overlapped with my own hobbies. I still shared my own input with Ishida-san though.
Ishida: I’d never formally been asked to write a script before… I felt like a fraud (lol). I think it’s because I’m not very good at being considerate of other people. I don’t think I’d be able to work with anyone other than Towada-san on something.
—Why is that?
Ishida: Well, for one I don’t want to talk to anyone for long periods of time (lol). Because Towada-san understands what aspects of a story are important to me, she’s also able to comprehend what I mean when I talk in abstract concepts. We could save time by not needing to have any pointless discussions.
Towada: Back then Ishida-san was still very busy publishing his manga, so bringing in all sorts of new people to work on the project probably would’ve put quite the burden on him. That’s why I wanted to help him out in some way.
After researching all sorts of things, I ended up participating in a production meeting for Jack Jeanne, but I was not expecting that I myself would end up being in charge of writing the script. Rather, I was more just looking forward to getting to play a game made by Ishida-san. As things progressed though, I was asked to try plotting things out, or to write part of the script to be used temporarily. Eventually I came to think, why don’t I just write the scenario myself?
I’d never written the script for a game before though, so that’s what had been holding me back. Unlike novels, it’s commonplace to not have to write descriptively. Novels are made up of dialogue and descriptions, like describing the setting and characters' expressions or emotions. So I had to spend a lot of time working out how to write to properly convey a story through dialogue alone.
When I first started getting the hang of it, I tried writing a script that still included descriptions but I quickly stopped. Jack Jeanne is about theatre, so I figured that it would be easier to convey the presence and narrative of the story through conversation. I usually write novels, so I was uncertain, but since Jack Jeanne has sprites of the characters on screen, I thought that I could do it. I suppose it’s closer to writing for a manga rather than a novel.
~ ~ ~
The rejected character routes
—Before Tokyo Ghoul was completed, what kind of things did you work on?
Ishida: The first two years were mostly spent creating the game’s world and mechanics. Like deciding how many performances there would be, how the plays would be presented. Would it be a dialogue drama? Would there be mini games? Things like that. We also had to decide whether summer break would be included or not, how raising affection would work and how the choices would be presented. Those are the sort of things that were talked about first.
—You got to watch over the entire game’s development then.
Ishida: At first, I got carried away and envisioned a stage play game full of skill mechanics that I personally enjoyed. A busy game full of specs you can raise and improve in mini games, however when I explained these details to a friend of mine, they were like “You’re just imagining a game that you would like, right?”.
They asked me if that’s what the eventual players of Jack Jeanne would be looking for. That same friend said that since it’s a story that deals with the theme of theatre, it would be better if the player could witness the performances themselves. So I took that advice and the prototype of the current Jack Jeanne was created. I told all of this to Towada-san and had her handle the script.
Towada: You can’t write a script without knowing how the game’s system works after all.
Ishida: Now that I think about it, before Tokyo Ghoul was finished, rather than build the game's foundation, all I was really doing was scattering the sand to prepare for said foundation.
When Tokyo Ghoul entered its endgame especially, I really had to concentrate on it, so I took a six month break from Jack Jeanne. Ending a story requires a lot of energy and attention, so I left the practical work of Jack Jeanne to Towada-san and only supervised the music production and attended any important meetings.
—So during serialisation you were making preparations to jump right into it afterwards?
Ishida: Yes exactly. I wasn’t able to do much practical work, so I had Towada-san prepare the script in advance for me. And for the time being, create one character route.
—Which character was it?
Towada: It was Shirota. I wrote about the equivalent length of a short book and it was more or less complete. In the end, we scrapped the entire thing though… Because the atmosphere in the beginning was quite dark.
Ishida: It was dark because I was too used to Tokyo Ghoul. It included issues like a troubled household and severe bullying. Reading something like that wouldn’t put the player in a happy mood.
Despite it being a story about the theatre, my attention drifted to other topics which didn’t fit. And it was me who had asked Towada-san to write something like that… A couple months after the Shirota route had been completed, I read over what Towada-san had written for me once again and realised that it was a bit too gloomy. I’d forgotten what prompt I’d even given to her in the first place (lol).
The first character portraits and CGs that I created were for Shirota too. The reason being that Shirota is the only second year student and he was already a complete individual, so he was easy to create for. As for the third year students, there’s three of them, Fumi, Kai and Neji. Along with Kisa, Suzu and Yonoga are also first years, so continuity and character relationships need to be taken into account in order to create them, so they were a little more complex.
—How did the other characters come to be?
Ishida: At the proposal stage, the first character that I created was Kai. It’s a game where characters will be falling in love and confessing to one another, so first off I wanted a character that was handsome. Then I made Fumi who would be Kai’s partner. After that, I think Shirota was next.
Towada: At first you created the characters by basing them on plays didn’t you?
Ishida: I’m a fan of Yamamoto Shugoro’s work ‘Kikuchiyosho’ so Shirota was created using that as a base. In Shirota's case the genders are swapped, but Kikuchiyosho is a story about a girl who is born into a samurai family and raised as a boy. It has an element of androgyny and portrays the confusion and anger concerning gender quite well.
—How did you select the plays to base the characters on?
Ishida: I chose plays that lots of people are familiar with and would be easy to assign characters to. Kai is ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, Fumi is ‘Salome’, Neji is ‘Faust’ and Yonoga is ‘Shintokumaru’. Kisa and her classmate Ootori are ‘Don Quixote’. Ootori ended up becoming a side character though.
—So Ootori was originally meant to be a main character?
Ishida: Yeah. If I were to compare it to Tokyo Ghoul, Ootori is in the same position as Tsukiyama. I wanted a pompous character like that in Quartz. However I may have made him a little too unique (lol).
I received feedback from Broccoli that they want the main six characters to be an elite group, so a more easy to approach character would be better. So I moved the bright and cheerful character that I had originally made as Onyx’s Jack Ace over. That character was Suzu.
Making the characters personifications of plays started to become difficult to stick with though, so I abandoned the idea entirely halfway through.
—Despite appearing glamorous, the characters are all dealing with their own issues, like certain complexes and family troubles. I think that they’re all conflicts that are easy to sympathise with, how did you decide what the backbone of each character's conflict would be?
Ishida: First I created the character's appearance and then decided what personality would match them. Like with Fumi, when I began to think about making his story about the unique struggles that come with being born into a respected family, if becoming a successor was going to come into question, then he needed to have a brother.
In this way, I worked backwards from the vibe of his appearance and created his home life. I did the same with the other characters too, thinking things like ‘to have a personality like this they must not have parents, or they must struggle with expressing themselves’.
I think that if you let your characters do human-like things, then aspects of them that are easy to sympathise with will be born.
Jealousy, setbacks due to failure, inferiority complexes… Each and every character naturally ended up having some form of theme attached to them.
—I feel as though Kisa had a different sort of personality than that of a typical heroine.
Ishida: To put it simply, I want my protagonists to be fighting something. If they’re not giving it their all, then it’s no good. If they’re just standing around, then you can’t empathise with them.
—There’s times where she draws others towards her or supports those around her. She also has some masculine aspects to her.
Ishida: I think that I’m moved by characters who make me think “This kid’s really admirable”. That’s why I made Kisa a girl who works hard no matter the difficult situation that she’s in. I like Kisa and I’m sure Towada-san feels the same way.
Towada: She’s the result of both of our preferences. While due to the game’s setting, she of course has struggles related to being a girl, but I was careful to write the main thread of her story in a way that transcended gender and instead simply showed her charm as a human being.
—Regarding gender, I was impressed by how neutrally it was portrayed.
Ishida: Yes. Originally, I was going to make Shirota a character with a feminine personality, but I ended up scrapping the idea. In the end, he ended up having more of a masculine mentality. The premise of Jack Jeanne is that boys also play the female roles on stage, but it’s not a metaphor for anything and I didn’t want it to raise any questions. I simply wanted to give it my all creating plays with that setting and create something new and refreshing.
I don’t struggle with any gender related issues myself, so it’s not like I can fully understand what it’s like, but in general I’ve never considered gender to be a very big deal. If someone born male were to tell me “I have the heart of a woman” then I’d just think ‘ok cool’.
To me it feels strange to place so much weight on such an issue. I don't see why others need to be bothered by someone else's gender, I'm not since I myself am not able to speak for such experiences.
Towada: At first, it was possible to take that direction with Shirota but as I continued to write, I came to realise that there was no need to exaggerate any emphasis on his gender identity.
To those looking from an outside perspective, it may seem like a unique identity such as that is a person's defining trait, when in reality it's only just a portion of their whole self. If you consider it to be all they are, then you end up denying the other aspects of that person.
Whilst considering the individually of each character, I kept in mind to write them in a way that seemed natural for them.
—The side character, Tanakamigi Chui of Amber, had a very striking presence. How did you go about creating him?
Ishida: I wanted someone that’s easily understood to be the antagonist, so I went ahead and tried to draw someone who looked like an unstoppable genius. Despite being a second year, it’s as if he controls the school. I wanted an enigmatic and intriguing character like that. Once I named him Tanakamigi Chui I felt as though he was complete and his inclusion in the story was quickly decided on.
—On the flip side, were there any characters that you had a hard time creating?
Ishida: I had to think a little harder about the other members of Amber. They needed to have the aura of the enemy but since they’re only villains in the context of the stage, they’re not actually bad people. So it was hard to find that balance between them.
Visually they’re edgy and have a talented vibe, but they also have their own individual quirks, they’re not all homogeneous. I struggled with Kamiya Utsuri especially, I wanted him to visually look like he could be a Jeanne while also still looking like a boy, so it was difficult to get him right. I didn’t have to do many redesigns though and all the other characters came to be without much trouble.
What I actually had more trouble with, was the fact I made the cast too large. I initially created almost double the amount of first year characters, but when I looked back over the script that Towada-san created, I told her “There’s way too many characters, please cut some of them out.” To which Towada-san replied, “Ishida-san, you’re the one who created them in the first place.” (lol).
Towada: That’s because the cut characters had already appeared in the script (lol).
Ishida: I feel that when there’s too many characters a lot of them get wasted, so just like that I end up creating and scrapping a lot of my characters. I think even Broccoli were surprised by the amount of times I’d suddenly tell them “Oh that character doesn’t exist anymore.”
—Apart from characters, were there any other aspects of the game that were abruptly discarded?
Ishida: The performances I suppose… Originally I had wanted there to be a larger variety of shows, but if you were to put all of them in the script it probably would’ve ended up being three million characters long.
In the beginning of development, I had originally planned for each character's route to have a different final performance. There’s six main characters, and including Kisa’s route, that would total to seven unique shows.
Before that there’s the newcomers, summer, autumn and winter performances, so I arranged to have a script written for each. Basically I wanted to include more shows and increase the amount of sub stories, but that would be confusing to play through and development would never end. The game engine has its limits too, so I decided to keep it simple.
Towada: It would’ve been difficult to play through all that as well (lol). For the final performance, we settled on it being one show and letting the player enjoy it from each character’s perspective instead. And even then, there’s still over 20 different endings to the game, so it still took a long time until everything was fully complete.
—Newcomers, summer, autumn, winter and the final performance, were these five show’s scripts all original?
Towada: Yes. However at first, like the characters, we had planned to base them on famous productions. Like Shakespeare or fairy tales. We figured that players would find it easy to get immersed in plays that they were already familiar with.
Ishida: For the newcomers' performance, I thought we could have a show called ‘House of Biscuits and Candy’ based on Hansel and Gretel. I had also originally planned to use each character's motif to base the plays on.
Towada: Like Shintokumaru, right?
Ishida: Yeah yeah. I even went as far as getting permission to use it, but if the show were to be following a story that already exists, then the script would be bound to it. Once I understood that it would make it difficult to relate the stories to Univeil, we decided to create the plays ourselves.
Since I acquired the permission to adapt Shintokumaru though, maybe I’ll have to make a manga about it someday…
By the way, the one who was saying “Let’s do this” and then changing it to “Nevermind let’s not” was all me. I’ll start on something wholeheartedly thinking that it’s the right choice before realising halfway through that I can’t actually take it anywhere and stop. Jack Jeanne’s development was full of trial and error.
Whenever I’m about to start something, Towada-san will express her concerns with my ideas but I always end up pushing on with them only to ultimately scrap it.
I probably have at least ten books worth of scrapped drafts alone. I had no real knowledge of how to properly craft a story. I hadn’t drawn anything other than Tokyo Ghoul, so even though I had no idea what the fundamentals of storytelling were, I misunderstood that I could write other kinds of stories too. This time around I studied and revised each time… I really learnt a lot.
Towada: You learn things by doing them, so I think I just got used to it (lol). Also, you don’t commonly see stories presented within stories, I thought that it was a rare case for a game especially.
~ ~ ~
The story behind ‘Lyrics: Ishida Sui’
—You also wrote the lyrics for each of the songs used in the performances didn’t you, Ishida-san?
Ishida: Yes, that’s how things ended up. It goes without saying, but no one, including myself, thought that I’d be the one writing the lyrics.
Originally Broccoli brought in several professional lyricists and had me look over what they’d written. However I couldn’t help but feel that they were lyrics I’d heard somewhere before, or they at least didn’t leave a unique impression on me. I did feel the finesse of a professional, and they were beautiful lyrics that fit the story in one way or another… But the words used didn’t touch on the core of the story. 
The songs in Jack Jeanne are stage songs that Neji wrote for the members of Quartz. So unless you’re familiar with the setting and understand how the characters are feeling, then you won’t be able to write lyrics that perfectly fit the scenario.
While I knew that my lyric writing technique would be far from that of a professionals, I thought that no one understands and loves these characters more than me, so I approached Broccoli about it. I’d poured my heart into not only the character designs, but also the story and system of the game, so I didn’t want to compromise on the lyrics and have them pale in comparison.
So, to the best of my ability, I wanted to at least try my hand at writing them. I had Broccoli check whether or not what I’d written was viable and asked them “If there are no problems, then please let me write the lyrics.”
—Did you sing the temporary vocals for the songs too?
Ishida: When I submitted the lyrics to Broccoli, I got the normal response of “Thank you, we’ll leave the temporary vocals to you.” Along with this message they also wrote “You can hire a professional vocalist if you’d like, or you could record the temporary vocals yourself.”
Because of this I started thinking that maybe I should record them myself. Similar to how one wouldn’t be able to write lyrics for the songs without a deep understanding of the story, if you weren’t the one who wrote the lyrics, you wouldn’t know how they’re supposed to be sung either.
So, after deciding that I had to be the one to do it, I made preparations to acquire some audio recording equipment and downloaded some editing software. I divided up the parts and harmonised with myself and over the course of three days, I finished recording the temporary vocals. That’s more or less how I did it.
—When recording yourself singing, being self conscious about it can interfere, can’t it?
Ishida: I don’t think I was possessed by him or anything, but… When I tried to go all out, as expected I felt a bit hesitant, so I began recording whilst imagining I was Neji.
In the game, Neji is the one who writes the scripts, so surely he would also write the lyrics and subdivide the song and do everything himself. So I got through it thinking like that. In that pumped up mental state, I sent in the temporarily recorded songs but all Broccoli said back was “Alright, let us know your upcoming schedule”, I got so carried away that I was somewhat bewildered by the cold response (lol).
~ ~ ~
Recruiting via DM, gathering specifically selected creators
—It appears the creators you gathered to handle things such as the concept art and music are all people whose work you enjoy.
Ishida: Yes. Almost everyone was sent a targeted offer. For example, I’ve always loved the concept artist Lownine-san’s work ever since I was a student. I suppose you could say I was jealous of how high quality their artwork is… They’re someone who I thought I'd never be able to beat in my entire life. Lownine-san is an amazing artist who is especially good at blending characters into their backgrounds.
When we were creating Jack Jeanne, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to pull something like that off, so I definitely wanted to recruit Lownine-san for the job. After getting permission from Broccoli, I reached out to Lownine-san myself through Twitter DM’s. I had only appreciated Lownine-san’s work from afar, and we’d never actually interacted before, but we did both follow each other. I received a reply that Lownine-san was fully on board to accept the job.
Towards the end of Jack Jeanne’s development, I got the chance to speak with Lownine-san, so I asked them “Could you teach me how to draw?” They gladly accepted this request and taught me how to draw whilst screen sharing over Skype. However, in about 10 minutes, they’d already drawn such an amazing piece that I felt I should just put my pen down (lol).
Towada: You were a little down after that, weren’t you?
—Had you been a fan of Kosemura-san, who was in charge of music, since you were a student as well?
Ishida: Yes, I’ve listened to Kosemura-san’s music a lot since I was a student. When I was brainstorming what kind of music would fit Jack Jeanne, Kosemura-san’s ‘Light Dance’ immediately came to mind, since it fit perfectly. Because I didn’t have any personal connections to Kosemura-san however, I didn’t know how to get in contact with him, so I made the request through Broccoli. I only found out about this recently, but apparently Kosemura-san almost turned the offer down*, I was quite shocked to hear that (lol).
*When the initial request was sent, it was under wraps that the game was being made by Ishida Sui, and since Kosemura-san didn’t have much experience in writing game music, he wasn’t optimistic about the offer. However, later, when he learned that it was a game being made by Ishida Sui, he readily accepted the offer.
—How did Seishiro-san, who was in charge of the choreography, get chosen for the job?
Ishida: A very long time ago I saw the group Tokyo Gegegay appear on a program called DANCE @ HERO JAPAN and I remember thinking ‘this group is crazy good’ and I was immediately charmed by them. After that, whilst I was looking through more videos of Tokyo Gegegay on YouTube, I happened upon a studio workshop video and discovered Seishiro-san.
—What about him caught your eye?
Ishida: Whilst first and foremost his dancing was super sexy, it also had a certain strength to it. I remember thinking that he danced in a way that embraced the best elements of both masculinity and femininity. And that had stayed in my memory ever since. When Seishiro-san was recording motion capture for the game, he allowed me to interrupt and even taught me some of the choreography.
(note: you can watch Seishiro dance here, he is also the choreographer behind this RADWIMPS music video!)
—I hear you’ve known Gyudon-san, who was in charge of making the movies, since your Tokyo Ghoul days. 
Ishida: Yes. Around the time volume 13 of Tokyo Ghoul was set to be released, we held a still image MAD (Music Anime Douga) contest. The grand prize winner of said contest was Gyudon-san, who at the time was still only a student. The way they made a video by manipulating the manga panels to move so fluidly was really cool and stood out from the rest. 
Around when Tokyo Ghoul had ended and :re was about to start, I had Gyudon-san make a minute long video for me. After that, Gyudon-san grew in popularity and became someone whose work is in high demand, so they seemed very busy.
However when Jack Jeanne was announced, we were able to have them create a promotional video for us. Since I’ve known them since Tokyo Ghoul, I figured I couldn’t go wrong entrusting the job to Gyudon-san. They didn’t just deliver their finished work without a word either, Gyudon-san also made a variety of suggestions and worked on the project with a positive attitude. For the videos used in the performances, I was asked to provide materials and became very involved in the process. I think it took about two weeks… Despite the really tight deadline, Gyudon-san allowed me to catch up and was super helpful.
I was also the one who reached out to Touyama Maki-san, who was in charge of creating the in-game chibi characters and the 4koma manga used for promotional purposes. During Tokyo Ghoul’s publication, Touyama-san would draw short comics for the series as a hobby, I thought they were a nice person for doing so. Their art was great too and I was very thankful. So when it was decided that we’d be displaying chibi characters during the game’s lesson segments, I wanted to leave it to Touyama-san and sent them the offer.
(note: this is the MAD that gyudon won the contest with, they now regularly make moving manga CM's for jump titles, they make the Choujin X ones too!)
~ ~ ~
The winter performance moves into Quartz’s ending, and the divergence in the story since the beginning of the year drastically branches off
—The performances, packed full of each of the character’s skills, continue for a year and pass by in the blink of an eye. Once the new year breaks, it feels as though the atmosphere of the game drastically changes. What were your intentions behind this?
Towada: That’s when the character route specific endings begin. So we packed all the needed material to set them up into the winter performance.
Ishida: The winter performance is like an ending for Quartz as a whole, so we packed it full of good lines and scenes without holding back. I may have used up all of my cards but by using them all without compromise, we were able to make the story reach a nice peak. After that, the story switches to focusing on each character's individual ending.
Towada: We used a lot of great material in the winter performance, which meant the final performance would have to be even better still. In a good way, it gave us a higher hurdle that we now needed to overcome.
—So you needed to create even more anticipation heading into March?
Towada: From January to March, each character’s route is completely different. From the new year onwards I needed to create seven different scripts, so it was very challenging. The amount of text for the last three months of the game alone just about eclipses the amount of text from up until the winter performance. There was so much to write that I began to fear I wouldn’t even be able to finish it.
Ishida: Having more choices that drastically change the ending of the game makes the player feel more involved. So, despite it making things tougher on ourselves, around the time we were working on the autumn performance is when we began thinking about how the game’s big branches should work. Along with the main routes, we also planned for there to be the option to deepen your bonds with the side characters.
—How did you go about creating the confession scenes?
Towada: Before the winter performance, to some extent each character has already grown closer to Kisa, so I kept in mind not to disrupt that flow. Since if I didn’t make it a confession that respected both Kisa and her suitor’s feelings, then I felt it would spoil the fun.
—Is that how you approached the ‘realising Kisa’s a girl’ scenes as well?
Towada: Yes, I suppose so. As I was writing the script, I knew that a point was going to come where Kisa would have no choice but to acknowledge the fact that she’s a girl. There’s characters that realise her true gender once their bond deepens and on the flip side, there are some who don’t realise it at all. There’s also the case of Yonaga, who knew Kisa’s situation from the beginning. I guess you could say each reveal followed one of these three patterns. Those who came to realise it, those who didn’t notice anything and those who knew from the start. I think they ended up being nice variations and I put careful consideration into writing them to make sure none of the realisations felt forced.
Also, the beginning half of the story is akin to that of a sports drama about teenagers putting on shows together, so the room for romance to be added is limited. That’s why, when I first started adding romantic elements to the character routes, it felt strange to me, so I discussed it with Ishida-san. I wasn’t able to effortlessly soak the story in romance. I think I had to rewrite Shirota’s ending at least three times…
Ishida: Shirota was who you tried writing an ending for first after all.
Towada: Shirota and Kisa aren’t the sort of people who’d be all flirty, and Shirota’s initial route was already muddy, so it was difficult to pull everything together. However, once I stopped trying to write in a way that forced romance on them and instead wrote them becoming closer as partners, things went more smoothly.
It may not be a stereotypical sort of love, but it was a human love. I thought that the natural way these two would be drawn together wouldn’t be through whispering sweet nothings to one another, but instead by coming to understand one another without having to exchange words at all. Once I’d completed Shirota’s route, to some extent, I continued writing the other routes in a similar way.
Ishida: While it’s true Shirota acts like that, the other characters all act differently. To the point some aren’t even comparable. In contrast to Shirota, Suzu’s route ended up being more of your stereotypical kind of romance. I thought that it would be nice for each character to have their own unique form of love.
Towada-san’s strong suit is writing a love story with your more classic otome guys like Suzu and Kai. I have no idea about that kind of thing, so I left Towada-san to pour her own ideas into their routes. On the flip side, characters like Fumi and Neji were dyed more with my own ideas. Neji’s way of flirting especially were mostly lines that I requested.
Towada: He’d say “Make him say something like ‘Try seduce me!’ Because I want this CG to appear.” (lol).
Neji especially plays with his words a lot, so unless Ishida-san told me what wordplay to write, I wouldn’t have been able to expand on it. Ishida-san has a very unique way of phrasing things, so I asked him for advice a lot to make sure I was making Neji speak in a Neji-like way. I then arranged the lines and created events in order to reach the intended goal. I constructed the route in a way that wouldn’t disrupt the flow of the story. As for Fumi, Ishida-san wrote his route himself.
Ishida: Yes, I wrote it all myself.
—Well isn’t this quite the exciting plot twist?
Ishida: I turned into quite the young maiden myself (lol). Even though I’m clumsy at it… I began wondering why I ended up loving writing it so much. I added some lines that have more of an adult and deeper meaning to them, so when I played the route myself I was like “Woah!”.
Towada: It’s more interesting if at least one character is that way. From the early days of production, I’d quietly wanted Ishida-san to write a character himself, so I was happy. I was unsure how to deal with Fumi too, so it was a big help that Ishida-san took him on. His route ended up being a lot sweeter than I’d been expecting though, it got my heart racing (lol).
Ishida: I was also the main writer for Kisa’s solo route. There’s no romance in it, but it’s an ending where long lasting friendships are born and it ended up being the kind of story you’d see in an uplifting shoujo manga.
Towada: It’s full of Ishida-san’s flair, I loved it.
Ishida: If love is a lie, then how do you face that lie? That’s the sort of thing I thought about. Kisa is lying about her gender and pretending to be a boy, but Neji, Suzu, Fumi, Yonaga and so on, are also hiding lies within themselves.
The fact they’re all hiding their true motives is something that they have in common with Kisa. Whilst hiding, the two grow closer. I think that a confession is a scene where all these lies intersect and burst open. Everyone is lying, and I thought that was like a play, without realising it I think that slowly became the theme of the work. 
As people, we meet others whilst lacking something and some people end up becoming a necessary part for someone else. I wanted to see a drama like that. Despite it being a game with confession scenes, I wanted it to be a story that both women and men alike are able to identify with.
~ ~ ~
From thorns to rounded edges, how the style of work transformed 
—If there was a small novels worth of rejected material, then how many books worth of words made it into the final game?
Towada: In terms of paperback books, probably about twenty volumes worth.
—Because as well as the main scenario, there’s also the sub scenarios and the stage plays?
Ishida: As much as time allowed, I put my all into creating the game. However there was a deadline for things like the voiceline recordings, so I was working both day and night to get things done in time.
Towada: I was only getting around three hours of sleep. I feel like at one point Ishida-san didn’t sleep for four days.
Ishida: I was in a serious pinch so I don’t remember it well, but when I was writing the script I would hole myself up in a manga cafe for around thirty hours at a time. Multiple times a month. Once I felt as though I’d written to a good point, I’d go home only to return to the manga cafe again. Why? Because I was sleeping in the manga cafe. I mays well have been living there…
Towada: Once Ishida-san had finished writing his part of the script, he’d have me check it. So at the same time, I’d have Ishida-san check what I’d written.
Ishida: For a period of time it seemed like Towada-san was always awake. Whenever I would send a check request she always responded right away regardless of the time, so I figured she must not be sleeping.
So that my productivity wouldn’t be affected, I made sure to sleep at a regular time, however I’d be awake for like 30~40 hours at a time and then sleep for 10 and then be awake again for another 40. My sleeping patterns would repeat in this cycle. During Tokyo Ghoul’s serialisation my sleeping patterns were similar, so to some extent I might’ve gotten used to it.
—That’s just like Neji-senpai, isn’t it?
Ishida: Yeah yeah, I worked in a similar way to him. However in Neji’s case, he can complete a script just one day after coming up with the idea for it, so he works way faster than us. It took us around two months to write parts of the script, so Neji really is a genius isn’t he? I was writing whilst wishing I could be like Neji.
After experiencing writing a script, I’ve come to have a lot of respect for authors. Writing is completely different from drawing. When writing I need to really concentrate on it, I can’t multi-task or think about anything else. Whereas with drawing, there are some things that can be done as long as you can move your hand, so I can talk to someone whilst drawing or watch a movie in the background or work whilst thinking about other things. I can’t do that when I’m writing though, I was starting to wonder if I really had to think so deeply about everything I wrote.
—During the production of Jack Jeanne, as you worked on the script or the lyrics etc, did you notice any changes in how you worked?
Ishida: For Tokyo Ghoul, I was always consciously adding things, meaning I would draw everything that I came up with. I thought that it was fine to only put 20% of my output into the characters and dialogue. However, when I was working on Jack Jeanne, I began to think that my method of just adding things was incorrect and that I should also consciously remove things. It’s ok to just be left with what’s necessary. My way of thinking ended up being the exact opposite to before.
—What brought about this change in thinking?
Ishida: It was early in production, when I had asked Towada-san to write Shirota’s route for me, I got concerned about the ‘sharpness’ of the story. As I mentioned earlier, I ordered Towada-san to add this and that and sent her walking on a long journey. Except, what lay completed at the end of that road was such a painful story that even I myself was shocked by it. When I looked down at the world I had created it was as if I’d received a psychological shock. I think I even smelt the faint scent of blood.
—From thorns to rounded edges. I still remember the comment you made during a press conference saying, “I was careful to not kill off any characters”.
Ishida: Stories where characters die are usually fast paced with high stakes, however, the kids at univeil are living a different kind of story. I had to consider the best way to create drama in that kind of setting. I thought about it a lot and it may have only ended up being possible because of the fact it was a game.
—Why is that?
Ishida: Because of the flow of the dialogue, backed by Kosemura-san’s music while it's being read out by all of the voice actors. It all comes together as one… That’s what I think at least. Writing and illustrating are Towada-san and I’s main domain of expertise, but I think that it was thanks to all of the other various creators involved that we were able to create something new.
—Do you think anything about yourself changed, Towada-san?
Towada: It came down to the fact I wanted to create something for Ishida-san whilst there were also things that I wanted to add myself. This dilemma caused me trouble at times, however when I started to consider what components I should add, or which ones I should remove, I began to discover what elements I liked and what my own skillset was. 
The way that Ishida-san and I go about creating stories is different. I came to understand that Ishida-san’s strong point is creating impactful scenes, whilst mine is plotting and world building. Ishida-san being in charge of the pivotal scenes would make things more exciting, so I concentrated on writing everything else whilst keeping the balance in mind. Through working on Jack Jeanne, I’ve become able to say that my strong suit is being able to create a story that flows well.
It may be true that by working with other people, you come to understand more about yourself. Starting with Ishida-san, I also looked at what the other creators were doing and thought ‘so this is how they interpret the story.’ Seeing what they came up with made me notice different approaches that I hadn’t thought of.
I’d write whilst listening to Kosemura-san’s music and decide which way to take a scene. Or I’d watch Seishiro-san dance and think about how I could make the performances more exciting. We were all connected in some way. Novels are usually written alone by one person, so I came to learn the thrill of working on something in a team.
—The way you all came together as gears to create a single work sounds similar to the story of Univeil.
Towada: True. I never thought I’d experience something straight out of my youth again at this age. Being helped by other team members or being supported by them, being motivated by simple phrases like “It was great” or “I like this idea”.
For example, when I was working on the final phases of the story, I was just writing and writing with no end in sight, I couldn’t take it anymore and my pen just stopped moving. During this dire moment so close to the end, my proofreader messaged me saying, “You’re almost done.” And with that simple message alone, it was as if a burst of light appeared before my eyes. Everything had gone pitch black, but they lit everything back up again. Ishida-san also wrote some of the script, so I didn’t feel as alone.
Ishida: At that time I left all my drawings alone and decided to solely focus on the scenario.
Towada: Yeah, because I hit a point where I wasn’t able to write it on my own anymore… When Ishida-san sent me the script he’d written, it was interesting and I let out a breath of relief. I felt the joy of being able to see someone else's work. I was the same as the Univeil students who find joy in performing with others. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to do it if I was alone.
Ishida: You’ve got that right. I think that if anyone was missing from the team, it wouldn’t have worked out. Not to mention that in my case, everyone’s contributions were directed to me, and they were all people that I’d personally gathered.
With manga, even if it comes to the worst case scenario, at the very least it would all just fall on me. However this game isn’t just something I made on my own, I need to contribute as much as I can or the efforts of everyone around me will go to waste as well. There was a moment where I felt afraid of having such a heavy responsibility placed on me. However, if I had tried to do it all on my own, I think I would have given up.
By listening to wonderful music, reading interesting scripts and moving forward together with everyone, I was inspired. Coming together with fellow creators to make one work came with a lot of challenges, but it was fun. It was refreshing being in an environment working alongside other people, and because of it I was able to experience something new.
—Has working alongside other people changed the way you work at all?
Ishida: Right now I’m still in the state immediately after being swept away by the raging waves of a storm, so I’m not sure how I really feel yet. I’m in the phase of just watching what becomes of Jack Jeanne as the waves subside.
Even though the script and illustrations were done, like bonus stages lots and lots of new tasks kept popping up. So I was still busy with work up until the beginning of October last year. When I looked at some of the thoughts people had on the demo version of the game, it felt as though what we’d all been working so hard on had finally taken shape, and I was relieved.
Working on this project I’ve come to learn both the hardships and the fulfilment that comes with creating something with others. So, I suppose I’ve started considering working on something by myself again… I’m not trying to say that it’s in my nature to want to work alone, I think I’m just experiencing some kind of aftershock. I think the waves are returning.
Towada: I’m still working overtime and supervising Jack Jeanne (lol). Like checking content that will be posted on social media, as well as the 4koma manga. Content is still being released and there have been bug reports from some people who played the demo… Meaning that my journey is still not over yet. I think that things should calm down once the game has been released for a while.
Ishida: Yeah, probably after around five months (lol).
—After their final performance, the members of Quartz all threw a party to celebrate. Did you and the rest of the creators do the same upon the game's completion?
Towada: I celebrated with Ishida-san as siblings. And then afterwards we got swamped with work again (lol).
Ishida: Yeah, we didn’t end up meeting with the other developers or the voice cast. Big project after parties aren’t as common these days, but I do want to hear everyone’s stories of any struggles they had.
Towada: There were way too many people involved in total for me to be able to speak with them all, but I’d still love to convey my impressions to them. Like letting them know what I thought was good, or letting them know that a certain thing really helped me out.
Ishida: Ideally I would like to gather everyone and really have it feel that ‘this is the team of people that created Jack Jeanne’ and I’d like to express my gratitude to them all in person. I hope that an opportunity like that will come one day.
~ ~ ~
125 notes · View notes
hotpinkstars · 7 months
Note
Yooo!! Ummm can I request Albedo x Reader with like them being pen pals or writing to each other?? And like one day meeting up??
Love youuuuu<33
-> pen pals
synopsis -> you and albedo have been pen pals for years, and you two finally meet up!
warnings -> none! pure fluff
w/c -> 739
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
you lived in inazuma, while your pen pal, albedo, lived in mondstadt. 
the main reason you two started to write with each other was when you needed a favor from an alchemist, and the one around your region wasn’t all that great. rumor had it that there was a pretty good know-it-all alchemist up in mondstadt, so you gave him a try.
he got back to you right away with the elixir you needed, and you wrote a thank you note right back to him. he’d continue to write you letter, and it got to the point where the two of you even sent each other pictures of your respective regions, some things about your personal life (on his end, klee, and on your end, your pets or something), and soon even your faces! 
it’s officially been three and a half years since you two started to write to each other, and a new note for you would come into the mail every couple weeks. they usually consisted of sayings like...
“dear y/n,
i hope life out in inazuma is doing you well over these last few weeks. hows the weather there? i’ve come to understand that your archon isn’t the fairest. the traveler told me all about the vision hunt decree, and i had mentioned you, and the traveler seemed to recognize your name. i worry sometimes and i hope your vision is no victim to her schemes. stay safe, and write back soon. 
sincerely, albedo.”
while that topic wasn’t the only thing he’d write about, you’d write back with a similar response. maybe talking about mondstadts issues that have reached ears overseas, or simply just how different life was in inazuma than over in mondstadt. but then the day came, and he was going to come to inazuma for the irodori festival! he was an artist as well, which is what you found out through a few photos of his works, and even a drawing of you he sent over for you to see. he wrote that he was invited and he wants to take the opportunity to not only meet you, but to see something knew. 
you subtly waited by the docks, pretending to look over cargo that was just carried off of other boats. you noticed that some were yoimiyas fireworks, and some were just random festival decorations that were ordered in by the yashiro commission- probably kamisato ayato ordering in things that he thought would look good to be hung up around the city. 
when you saw captain beidou up at the front of the boat that was pulling in, your heart started to beat incredibly fast. you knew albedo was on that boat, and this would be the first time in three and a half years you get to meet him.
the first person off the boat was klee, who recognized you instantly. without hesitation, she ran up to you and jumped in your arms, yelling “mx. y/n!” over and over again. a few other people had gotten off, and then you saw albedo. 
klee would not let you out of the hug, so you both just waited for albedo to walk over. when he saw your face, and saw how well you bonded with klee, he smiled before picking up his pace. when he got over to you, he kneeled down to where you and klee were hugging. when albedo told klee to take dodoco back and go explore (safely!) around inazuma, she was off, and you and albedo were left alone.
you got up at the same time he did and immediately drew him into a hug. you smiled into his shoulder, and he laughed a little before hugging you tighter. you spent a moment like that before you both pulled away.
“you look better than in photos,” you laughed, ruffling his pretty blonde hair.
“i could say the same to you,” he nodded, grinning lightly. “i will have to say though, i didn’t expect you to sound the way you do.”
“i didn’t expect your voice to be so mellow,” you agreed, before looking him up and down. “you seem like the type to not be worked up over anything.”
he chuckled, taking your arm in his and walking up the docks and into ritou. 
“would you mind giving me a tour? i’d have to assume you know this place much better than i do.” 
you laughed, before squeezing his arm a little tighter, and starting your hours-long tour of your home region.
77 notes · View notes
bearlyfunctioning · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
Don’t panic ‘The Bear Minimum’ will still show up every now and again, just a lot less than it used to. This is a continuation of my thoughts on the comic I posted here last. I’m just not enjoying making art anymore, like -not at all- & it’s really getting me down. Art is an intrinsic part of my identity, so not wanting to do it feels awful. This reticence has been building for at least 4 years now & as of last year I have been acting on my desire to leave art as a career, before I burn out to a crisp. Please note this is the first time in a long time I am feeling mentally healthy & have the resources to go without my portion of our income for some time (while I try to get IRL work). So, I really need to seize this moment of security to make big life changes. Even if it means we’re going to have to tighten our budget a lot while I try to find work. Some of you may remember that I am attending school full-time for an assistant administration diploma, ideally to have a broad skillset to bring with me while job hunting. I’ll be graduating from that course at the end of May if everything goes as planned. I have been on a commission hiatus since the start of this year to put schooling in action, continuing only with the weekly comic & monthly Patreon exclusive work. This brought my monthly income down to 1/3rdof what it usually is, but that was all I could manage alongside fulltime school. Doing so much less drawing has been incredibly beneficial to my RSI hand pain! For the first time in years, I can go to sleep without restrictive arm braces & I don’t need maintenance from the physiotherapist. I honestly thought that was permanent so I can’t even convey my relief there! However, despite drawing a lot less, my love for making art did not return. I enjoy making comics, but they are a whole lotta line-art & that can be a very repetitive process. Being a comic artist has been extremely good for my growth online; to the point where I owe half or more of my current following to it. Some people don’t even know I draw other things, that’s how good their reach is compared to my other art. Despite that I am going to be taking the comic off schedule. Even if it means sacrificing most or all my Patreon income and kneecapping my reach on every platform. I’ve been making the comic 4 times a month, with little break for 6 years. It started as a good outlet for my thoughts & an exercise in consistency, as I had never had a schedule of any sort prior. Doing the comic weekly was a great lesson in self motivation, but no one is forcing me to continue with it other than me. Plenty of times the deadline came I didn’t have a good idea & just made something I wasn’t proud of, because it was income and because I had just done it every week for so long. If you don’t enjoy my non bear/comic art, then I suppose we’ll part ways. In the end I must do right by me though & I feel like this is the best choice right now. Patrons have been notified on what will be happening over there in their own post.
150 notes · View notes
roebeanstalk · 19 days
Text
general commission info/process update
Howdy y’all!
tl;dr:
-Commission prices are increasing to account for cost of living, increased quality, and more. -Those with colored sketches currently outstanding are being upgraded to my new "Standard Commission" as a thank you for your patience. -A new Patreon tier has a 5% commission discount as a perk. -I've adopted a new workload management system where I focus on 5 pieces at a time, and reload the workbench on Mondays. My Trello has been updated with general info on this.
The whole update:
I am raising my commission prices. This has been an incredibly difficult decision to make, but it is ultimately for the best for myself, my clients, and more.
Since I’ve started doing commissions regularly, the amount of time I want to spend on any particular piece has grown, but I haven’t had the time due to a large workload. With this price increase, I’m able to spend more time on each commission and create work at a quality that I am happy with. I’ve found myself working back and forth with clients more, creating more technically sound drawings, and being happier overall with my work. That being said, the prices I have been charging are not enough and often work out to less than minimum wage.
I have added a new tier on Patreon that gives a 5% discount on all commissions from me, in addition to all the perks on my $5 tier.
Pay What You Want commissions are something I have loved doing, and I want to be able to continue to do them moving forward. I love being able to offer a more affordable, sliding scale commission. This allows access to folks who might not otherwise be able to commission artwork from me. The price increase on my commissions will also make this more sustainable.
In addition to the price change, I have recently adjusted the way that I handle my queue. I have a “Workbench” which contains five things that I am working on currently. This allows me to focus on a smaller amount of projects despite how many pieces are in my queue. I can specialize and give each piece the attention it needs. Each Monday, I refill the workbench to 5 pieces by pulling them from the queue.
I’ve been doing this system for the last few weeks, and it has been a revelation. I am much calmer while working, and I am able to work back and forth with clients in a more personal way that feels really fulfilling. I’m also less likely to be super worried about everything I have on my plate, by focusing on a smaller portion. My work quality has increased from this alone.
My new Standard Commission is an upgraded version of the colored sketch commissions I was offering before. Those who are on my queue for colored sketches have been waiting for a bit, and I am so grateful for their patience. It will still be a little bit, but I am excited to deliver them good quality commissions. As a thank you for their patience and to slightly make up for the time, I’m upgrading all colored sketches on my queue to the new Standard Commission. This means a bit more back and forth, making it a piece we’ll both be happier with.
With all of these changes, I am hopeful that so many other things about my work, my life, and more will improve. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me through commissions, donations, kind words, follows, reblogs, everything. It means the absolute world to me, and I am so excited to keep pushing forward.
<3 Robin
12 notes · View notes
oooocleo · 1 year
Note
how did you find the courage/means to do full-time freelance? it’s something i’ve been thinking about for a long time (i take comms in between college work) but i just. don’t know where to begin? i’d really appreciate any advice. thank you!
ill start this off w a disclaimer that i live in a country thats considered a social security state so i've received rent support from the government ever since moving out when i started uni (bc i dont make that much, prolly below min. wage, meaning my taxes are also relatively low), as well as student loans that aren't so horrible here as there are in the US for example - i'm sure if i had to get a job next to my studies i wouldn't have had nearly as much time/energy for establishing myself as a freelance illustrator over the yrs...
for me my uni yrs were when i really started doing more private commission work, because i had a lot of free time outside of exam periods, and i was p motivated to do that bc i was studying history which u know.. doesnt rly lead u down a secure career path lmfao... as for courage i would say it might be more fear of the alternative? i have depressive tendencies sometimes and i think i would be very unhappy having to spend 40 hours of my life every week in a job that wud likely feel unfulfilling compared to making art for ppl... so i took those student loans and drew and drew and drew until it became Actually Feasible to live off of my labour
i would say... Really try to minimize ur expenses if ur wanting to get into freelance illustration, bc any amount of time u need to spend on say a diff 'regular' job uve got to make ends meet will make things harder - this might seem like kind of scary advice but moving somewhere where the rent is cheap is an option u shouldnt overlook (i lived in social housing before moving to a rural area), bc kind of all u need rn is a freaking internet connection to find folks thatll hire u fdjgdfg - also in the same vein moving in with friends and sharing costs🤔
besides that, all i can suggest is find things that inspire you, draw as much as u can manage and post a lot so that ppl can discover u !
55 notes · View notes
mrakobulka · 5 months
Text
I don’t normally share personal stuff on my socials as it makes me feel awkward talking about myself knowing people are here for my art, but I'm at a point where I need to let things off my chest and make some changes to how I go about my work. This is going to be a long rant.
I’ve been a commission artist for years and I cherish people trusting me with their characters and paying for my work. I set up rules for myself to ensure that I'm trustworthy, like prioritizing commissioned art over personal and completing each piece in a few weeks to a month. Despite having depression for several years, I’ve mostly managed to stick to those rules and felt proud about it, but it’s been increasingly hard to do so in the last few years due to my country’s politics and aggression. It became even harder now when personal matters got in the mix as well
Last October my grandpa suffered a stroke, which led to him passing in December. As if that wasn’t enough grief, around the time of his funeral I also found out that Marusya - my loyal feline companion for the last 19 years - is suffering from kidney failure. As I began adjusting to the new rhythm of life dictated by her condition, the universal cat distribution system decided not to wait for her passing and threw Anfisa my way - a stray that hid in the common hall of my apartment complex while temperatures outside went as low as -16C.
I know taking another pet when already struggling with a sick senior cat wasn’t the smartest move, but at first I planned to find Anfisa’s old owners or get her new ones. Unfortunately, the stray problem in my city is huge and I ended up keeping her as I couldn’t throw her back into the street. While I understood that taking care of a stray would bring more vet bills into my life, I felt confident at the time that I was financially able to handle it, but Anfisa brought with her a surprise pregnancy that I had to eliminate to avoid adding to the stray problem. In order to do that I had to dig into my savings.
Even though I still manage to juggle vet bills and my basic necessities, the last few months have been incredibly draining for me financially, mentally and physically. Taking care of my cats’ health, I’ve completely neglected my own and ended up having to deal with several medical issues that surfaced as a result of stress. On top of that, I’ve also completely neglected the need to create for my personal enjoyment, which has led to my mental health worsening as well. I felt like I couldn’t afford drawing for myself as vet bills kept piling up and I needed to take more and more work to manage while sticking to my rules and keeping my commissioners satisfied. 
I’m sharing all of this just to explain my current situation and the mindset I ended up being stuck in. I don’t want anyone to feel bad for giving me work as I wouldn’t be able to make it this far without the support you give me <3 Still, I realized that my own relationship with my art and my workflow became detrimental to my physical and mental health and, if anything, damaged my ability to complete commissioned work in time more than helping it. Add to that the infestation of genAI that’s been happening recently and the horrible algorithms killing engagement that slowly destroy my motivation to share my art at all (some of you might have noticed that I barely post on twitter now and completely neglect my other platforms).
With all that said, all I want to do is let people know that my commissioned work will be taking longer than usual to be completed for the foreseeable future as I don’t want to force myself to work on art in the moments when I’m struggling with either physical pain or mental turmoil. I would also like to ask you to be understanding if you see me post personal art, make adopts or take more commissioned work before yours is completed. Unfortunately my current circumstances demand emergency funds every now and then and I can’t help it + I need to take a breather every now and then. All I can promise is that I’ll never bite more than I can chew and will deliver everything I owe in due time.
I know this was a long read, but thank you if you stuck till the end and I hope my ranting won’t turn you off my artwork : ‘ D 
And to add some positivity to my rant, here's cat tax:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Calico one is Marusya and white/grey one is Anfisa
11 notes · View notes
v0jelly · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Akari and Her Team: Legends Arceus
Hisuian Decidueye, nicknamed Roothoot
Gardevoir, nicknamed Joan
Raichu, nicknamed Mjölna
Walrein, nicknamed Maru
Hisuian Arcanine, nicknamed Roscoe
Alpha Garchomp, nicknamed Hammerhead
I've been a fan of Pokémon all the way back since it first came to the US In that time, I've played every mainline series game that have come out over the years. My interest in the franchise has waxed and waned over the years, but it hasn't gone away completely.  Every so often, just when I feel like I've played my last Pokémon game or that I'm ready to move on, a new game will be released that will completely reinvigorate me and get me excited about Pokémon again. It happened not too long ago with the released of Sun and Moon back in 2016, and it happened again this year with the release of Legend Arceus.
If you're like me, you might not have been terribly excited by any of the entries in the series that have come out on the Switch. Let's Go was fine and Sword and Shield were ok, but I was incredibly disappointed in Brillant Diamond and Shining Peral and honestly think they are a strong contender for the title of Worst Games in the Series. So, after being let down by BDSP, I was not really looking forward to Legends Arceus. It was actually the first Pokémon game in years that I didn't pick up on its release day. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I started to tune into the buzz around the game and heard people talking about how fun it was. So, I decided to eventually give it a try and see if it lived up to the hype.
In the end, I put over 100 hours into it, so you can say that I enjoyed it. Is it a perfect game? No, far from it. There are so many issues with it, it makes it hard to believe this was released as a AAA game in 2022, made by a company that is part of the largest media franchise in the world.
Was it fun? I thought so. Sure, it might not have been the best game ever, but it really got me engaged and interested in the series again. After being satisfied with how much of the game's content I had completed, I knew I wanted to make something to commemorate my playthrough. I decided a portrait featuring my custom trainer and her team would be the most appropriate, though I wasn't sure on how to proceed. I considered just commissioning someone else to draw it for me. I follow a lot of talented artists and I know they could have delivered a final product that would have been leagues ahead of anything I could make. But, as good as those commissions could have been, they wouldn't have been personal, and that's what I really wanted.
So, I got to work. I planned out how I wanted each Pokémon to look, and I collected a lot of references to help me. I work incredibly slow, mainly since I draw everything with my mouse instead of a stylus, and since I have to spend my days at work where I can't draw, so it took me about two months to make my way through the team. Finally, though, I am happy to say that I finished up everything and put them all together. I am incredibly pleased with how it all turned out, and I'm now able to move on from this and get started on the next few projects I have lined up.
150 notes · View notes
mistysblueboxstuff · 2 years
Note
Hello, first of all, I’m really sorry for bothering you with this. I’m a person who other people consider an artist. I’ve made things all of my life with whatever tools I could get my hands on. My family was too poor to afford paper and pencils so I burned wood engravings with magnifying glasses. My handwriting is tiny and precise because I loved writing but had to squeeze every inch of space out of a page. Over the years I’ve done a lot of other things that caught my interest, including sculpture, 3D modeling, modding, making dolls, decoupage, graphic design, oils, watercolor, lots of stuff. I won awards, got into some magazines. People paid unreasonable amounts for my stuff. I even spent two years in college majoring in drawing and painting before admitting to myself that I hated the process and though I had some technical skill, I wasn’t a real artist and didn’t have the inspired creative spark real artists had. I was okay with that; I don’t want to express myself.  I’ve always made things because I wanted to learn things and see something I wouldn’t have been able to see otherwise. 
I’ve always thought of myself as someone respectful of artists. I’ve spent so much on commissions that I don't have a savings account. I’ve always paid artists as well as I can afford and sometimes more if I thought their rates were low or if I knew they were putting extra work in on a piece. I’ve also bought a lot of fan made merch. Almost a thousand of that has been on prints you’ve made. I love your art.
I’ve been passionate about text and art AI for years. At first I was excited when the public became aware of my hobby and I thought that I’d finally be able to talk about it with people. Except, it turned out that everyone hates this thing I’m passionate about and would hate me if they knew I used it. I’ve had to hide it and keep it bottled up inside, away from the people I want to share it with. Everywhere I look, I see words like AI bro and AI clown and lazy and that people like me should just die.
I’ve heard all of the arguments for and against it. I do get why people are scared and discouraged and feel like they’ve had something taken from them. But I also know that I can't stop loving AI. I can't stop making things and learning new skills in things that interest me. That’s who I am. If I know anything about myself, it’s that.
I have one enormous print of yours of Aziraphale hanging over my bed. It has given me so much happiness for the past two years. I’ve felt love and beauty when I look at it. It’s been a source of comfort and joy. Having grown up lesbian in a religious household that thought I needed an exorcism, there’s something about seeing him turn his face away from God that resonates.
It’s been eating me up inside for weeks because every time I look at the picture above my bed, I don’t see Aziraphale any more. I don’t feel that love. I can only think about the person behind it that I respect and how they’ve said I should die, and the community behind them that I want to be part of but would hate me.
Am I the bad guy? The pain feels like a festering boil that needs to be lanced, so I guess I’d like to hear you say that what I’m doing is unforgivable so that I can take the picture down, grieve and move on. I know that's a lot for a stranger to ask of you. It's probably messed up that I'm even bringing this to you. I'm sorry.
Hiya. Thank you for messaging me. first I'd just like to say I don't think anyone should actually die. I know I say AI folks should die but it's something that I don't actually mean or want, I'm just angry. I don't like being told to "adapt or die". I don't appreciate AI folks saying I should "get on with the times and use the AI". I don't appreciate being told to "learn a new skill" by people who by all accounts have none themselves. I don't appreciate being told to "go work at McDonald's bozo". Being told to "get a real job". These are the things said to me personally, not just to artists in general.
Have you seen the vile things artists are being told by the AI tech bros? How we are being treated? They call us "drawslaves", "paint pigs", but at same time we're the "elite" keeping the poor masses away from their god given right to be able to make art without putting any effort into it.
We have every right to be angry and I'm really sorry me saying they should die has hurt you. I'm hurting too. I haven't been in the best place mentally and I won't go into details but this whole AI thing has only made it worse.
I don't think artists are just scared or discouraged, they're angry because their art is being stolen by this thing made to replace them. It really really hurts, I can't tell you how much. It's also infuriating. A lot of the time it makes me want to just stop making art because what's the point? It'll just get stolen and chopped up, bastardised into some AI monstrosity and soon I won't even be needed at all. I spent my whole life trying to figure out what to do with it, finding one thing i love and managing to make a living off it, only for it to be taken away from me by a machine. Might as well just stab me to death and get it over with. It would hurt less. One of the things that hurt me the most is when people question if my art is AI or not. I hate that I also question every piece of art I now encounter too.
Your story is inspiring and it sounds like you enjoyed making art, so what happened? I can't understand how any artist would actually feel accomplished by generating images via AI. I do understand it's fun and brings joy to people I guess. As for being a part of the art community I don't think most artists will ever accept AI folks as being a part of it. There is a huge AI community though, as I'm sure you know.
Personally I find it really difficult to look at AI images, for many reasons, seeing them treated as art pains me. It's why I left ArtStation and why I'm no longer active on DeviantArt either.
I don't think you specifically are the "bad guy". The bad guys are the people who are pushing for this thing to actually replace artists. The bad guys are the hedge fund billionaire man babies behind it. I do think people using AI are helping it get better at stealing though. The support the AI has been given by folks using it has made people behind it more aggressive as well.
But like I said many times before I don't hate AI specifically and if it stops stealing and starts being used more ethically then it's fine (sort of). But I think everyone knows the AI would be nothing without actual artists' work, that's why they're gonna fight for their "right" to keep stealing from us. Wonder who they gonna steal from when most of us abandon art because we'll have to do something else to survive and there won't be time for making art anymore.
I'm really sorry my stance on AI is making it difficult for you to enjoy my art though, I never really thought about that so thank you for making me consider your perspective on this. I'm happy my art has brought you joy. For what it's worth I don't hate you, I don't think using AI is unforgivable, I don't think you're a bad person for using AI and finding joy in it. But as an artist I will never support AI. AI stomps all over everything art stands for, to me at least. It's a travesty. It mocks everything I've been through as a person to get where i am now. There are so many artists i love and seeing their art stolen and used in this way makes me so mad. It's easy to make the issue sound simple by saying "artists are just scared because AI is better" but it's so much more than that.
I'm sorry you feel like you need to take my Aziraphale painting down. I can't help but feel the way i feel though. i hate AI as it is now but that doesn't mean i hate every single person who uses it. I'm sorry though. i wish i had something smarter to say and something to make you feel better :(
53 notes · View notes
prevalent-masters · 9 months
Text
Hi all,
I’m having a bit of a hard time again. Work and money have been a struggle for the last year or so as I left an old position, moved, and started a new job. This job was mostly seasonal but was meant to have some winter hours and the opportunity to draw unemployment as a job attached worker over the winter.
The hours I was supposed to have have been cut due to budget reasons and I have been unable to draw unemployment because I’ve had to get two other jobs to make ends meet, which means I’m working over twenty hours a week, which is the cutoff for drawing unemployment in my state. However, both of these jobs are low paying and one hasn’t paid me at all for the last month of work—which I’m currently fighting my boss over. Supposedly I’ll be paid after the new year. It’s frustrating and I want to quit entirely, but I feel trapped in it because I don’t currently have a backup. I live in a very very small town without a lot of employment options and am feeling pretty stuck in a multitude of ways.
Despite working full time, the ends are not meeting. The holidays are always a rough time—the expectation to be around family, the pressures of gift giving, higher utility costs because of the cold—and that combined with some outstanding doctors bills from my bout with Covid this summer and it’s lingering effects means I’m dead broke right now.
So, as I’ve asked before—if you’ve enjoyed my writing or work in the past, consider donating to my Ko-fi. Every little bit makes a big difference to me. A donation gets you access to a few bits and pieces I have posted there, including some sneak peaks of a new Old Guard fic and a chapter of a follow-up to my VLD fic The Open Space of Desire that I might be trying to finish before Christmas. I can’t promise regular updates or any exclusive content right now—my creative juices are dried up and I’ve been too busy with work and some lingering long Covid effects to write much lately. But I hope you can enjoy what’s there.
I’m also willing to do writing commissions starting in the new year. If you really want that old VLD fic, or the sequel to my Old Guard assassin series, or a steamy follow up to my wtFock WWI fic, message me here or on Ko-fi and we can talk!
Thanks to everyone who sees this or donates. It’s hard asking for help like this and I appreciate that so many people are in a hard place right now. I don’t have a huge following so reblogs help too.
Thanks everyone.
My Ko-fi.
14 notes · View notes
anaquariusfox · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
No shade towards this user! But I would actually love to address this statement or thought process.
(And its actually £37 for you!)
But nonetheless, there are many things to consider when you’re criticizing an artist for the price of their works and here are a few!
How much time goes into the process of a piece(s)!
For example, I made not only one zine, but two in the span of 7 months. While working a 40+ hour a week active job. So all my free time was consumed with this zine. You may think $43 is a lot for a zine, but I am just one person make a whole NSFW zine. I wasn’t one of 20+ artists and fic writers putting one piece into a whole zine. And I won’t undervalue myself and my time! Also, most of my commissions, for one custom piece, cost more than not only my nsfw zine, but both my zines combined.
How much time goes into the technically side of the piece(s) (I.e. creating the actual zine with printing companies and sizing and resizing, and shipping and handling artists usually handle themselves)
For myself, it was hours and hours of file converting and resizing and in the end it still didn’t look good in zine previews, that’s why I decided to go digital.
The exclusivity of the artwork(s)
You’ll find a lot of things of this nature are either limited time products or exclusive to the product itself! For example, all my pieces in my NSFW zine, are for the zine supporters only, as well as my SFW being half favorite pieces and half new, zine exclusive pieces!
The content of said artwork(s)
My zine for example, is a “taboo” type of artwork, it’s basically a book full of porn. Not a lot of artist draw porn and even less nsfw artist, share it on social media! But here I am, sharing a whole exclusive zine of porn for two lovable characters! Oh, and as trans characters haha. They’re t4t in my zine because I draw the representation I want through my favorite characters!
* And in the end really! *
You’ve got to understand, as artists, we are putting out so much free content on social media. Whether it’s every day, every other day, once a week or once a month. You, as a consumer of our work, get free content (both old and new), all for free! Is that not wild?! For example, people pay $10 a month to see all the porn I’ve ever drawn on Patreon on then get to see the latest porn and sfw stuff I post! Ive been told by so many friends that I should charge more even! But that’s not the point of this post.
Artists could never share again, or put their craft and skills behind a massive paywall, but we love sharing and putting art into the world, cause fuck, a world without art would kill me. I literally love scrolling through my social media and seeing all my mutuals and artists I follow share their work and interests through art. I love seeing their minds work and what they felt so proud of to share it with the world.
And on top of that, if you think something is a bit too high in price, just remember all the free content the artist puts out, remember what art piece you love the most from them and why you followed them in the first place maybe! And by purchasing an item(s) from them, is a way of showing them support for all the joy their art has brought you 🫶😊 and just supporting artists in general vs large corporations who usually underpay their artists or just straight up steal art.
**In the end, I won’t undervalue my time and skill for a quick sale cause I’ve had people happily support me at the prices they are and I’m so grateful te for them.**
*** No artist should undervalue their work! We have a skill and took time to create this skill and study our skill to become better and better 🫶***
I do hope that anyone with the same mind set as this user, might have a new POV on the artists side/ BTS side of an artist and content creator when judging their prices.
42 notes · View notes