#I'M GOING TO EAT... AND THEN I'M GOING TO POST CH2...!!!

[dataframe]

holding qingyuan in my palm. more of my au

[accirax]

Analyzing DRDT's Ch2 Motive Diction

The fuck do I think I am, a time traveler? Why am I posting a theory about DRDT's Chapter 2 motive secrets now that Chapter 2 is finally complete? What's even the point in analyzing a motive that's over and done with?

Well, believe it or not, this is actually a theory I wanted to write before Chapter 2 Part 2 came out, I just never got around to it. And now we have more confirmation as to which secrets actually go where! So, really, it's all according to keikaku.

The point of this theory is to look at the language used in presenting the motive secrets, and see what it can tell us about both the secret's owner, and possibly the mastermind/whoever wrote them. What subjectivity did the writer inject into the secrets' phrasing, and could any of the secrets be better or worse than we originally thought? Put on your best scrutinizing glasses, and we'll take a look!

The usual CWs for Chapter 2 motive discussion: death, suicide, eating disorders, self harm, and implied homophobia/transphobia. Oh, and spoilers for DRDT through the end of Chapter 2, naturally.

Also as usual, I'll be assuming that all of the secrets are correctly attributed as they were in canon, other than that Xander and Teruko have swapped such that Xander has survivor's guilt and Teruko has the killing game is all your fault. I'm gonna look like a real fool some chapters down the line if I'm wrong about that, but I feel like most of the fandom has consensus agreed that this is the case.

I'll be dissecting the words of each secret through the lenses of the three Fs-- factual truth, flavored truth, and forced opinion. If those categories aren't as inherently comprehensible as they could have been due to my want for a snappy moniker, let me explain them further.

Factual truth is just that-- a literal statement that must be taken at face value. Under the assumption that all of the secrets are the truth (and it's not that J isn't actually Mariabella's daughter or whatever), there isn't much to be analyzed here. The writer presented the story with no flavor.

"You are reading a DRDT theory."

Flavored truth comes in two main forms. The first refers to emotional truths. Someone's secret describes that they feel a certain way about a certain event. It's likely base-level true, but do they feel that way due to their own opinion, or were they forced to feel that way due to someone else's opinion? And, what exactly does that opinion mean?

"You were happy to read a DRDT theory."

The other option is for when what's written is factual truth, but overlaid with a weird emotional layer. Said layer might make the truth feel overexaggerated, therefore implying a subjective take on the subject. Basically, it's anything that logistically should have been factual truth, but that subjectively I felt had something more to it.

"You prioritized reading DRDT theories over your other responsibilities."

Combined, purple means fact-adjacent, but with a little something injected into it.

Forced Opinion is content injected directly from the writer's perspective, and it's what initially caught my eye and got me thinking about writing this analysis. There are a couple of instances in which the writer speaks directly to the reader without feeling the need to provide any level of verifiable fact. These statements exist only to convey the writer's desired tone.

"Why do you even enjoy DRDT theories?"

Some secrets use only one of these Fs, some use two, and some use all three. On that note, we'll be examining the secrets in reverse spiciness order, with the most straightforward secrets first and the most interesting ones saved for last. So, who has the most sauceless secret?

Charles

"Your older brother died, but you don't remember him at all."

Okay Elliot fans, don't kill me for inadvertently calling your boy sauceless.

It's not that Charles' secret doesn't contain intriguing information, but that the way in which that secret is presented doesn't tell us anything about the person who wrote it. It's not phrased as "how could you have forgotten your dead older brother?" or anything as dramatic as that. Both phrases are presented in a manner devoid of emotion or judgment. They're just two facts!

Rose

"You took on your talent to earn money for your family. But you've since put them in a lifetime of debt."

"Lifetime of debt" feels kind of accusatory, but it is true when the sum total is in the millions of dollars. I think this could have been written a lot more judgmentally than it was, which is why I ultimately left it as factual truth.

Whit

"Your mother is dead. You always omit that truth."

The use of "always" in "always omit that truth" could be called into question, but based on Whit's behavior so far, it seems to be pretty straight up. Honestly, if anything, I think the bluntness of this statement speaks more to the writer's opinions and goals than anything else.

J

"You hide your name and birthright to pretend that you aren't the daughter of Mariabella Rosales."

"Birthright" is defined as "a particular right of possession or privilege one has from birth," if anyone was curious. With the way our society is set up, J should inherit a large amount of money and soft power just by being Mariabella's daughter, so I think this is legit. It has a bit of an emotional tone of superiority to it, but nothing drastic.

Arei

"Blackmail, rumors, lying, stealing, slander. You did everything you could to ruin your sisters' lives."

Ooh, our first instance of flavored truth. We're welcoming it in with a pretty bland example, though-- one that I went back and forth on for a while with whether it should count as factual or flavored.

Ultimately, I decided that, if we hadn't had Arei spell out her backstory and secret for us, I'm sure I would have been speculating about what "ruin your sisters' lives" really meant, and to what degree it was true. I shouldn't disqualify purple text from being purple text just because it was proven true. However, because this really was proven to be Arei's main motivation, we can basically take it as fact.

Levi

"You're a murderer, and you hold no remorse."

A secret which obviously has both a factual and an emotional component, but is also pretty straightforward in how it presents that emotional component.

When I was originally scheming up this theory (before it was revealed to be Levi's), one of my big talking points was going to be about how the divide in this secret opened up the possibility for it to actually be two secrets in one: that the secret's owner was both a murderer, and, separately, held no remorse. That turned out to more or less be true, which was fun!

Eden

"Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships."

Eden's secret has a pretty obvious factual part-- that she kissed a girl (and she liked it)-- and a pretty obvious emotional component-- that she was afraid it would ruin her friendships.

Much like Levi or Arei, the emotional component is very likely accurate. In this case it's not very dramatized: they didn't go as far as to say "ever since you kissed her, you knew it was a matter of time before your friends would leave you" or anything along those lines. Still, as an emotion-based secret, so there's always room for debate.

Ace

"Your body is falling apart, but you'll still refuse to eat."

"Your body is falling apart" is (probably) a fact, but it feels really emotional. That "probably" is what sold me on this needing to be purple, though. It's hard to say how much Ace's body really was falling apart prior to his death. I'm sure the situation wasn't great, but we know that Ace was still capable of overpowering Arei, lifting ~60 pounds, launching a slingshot, and cutely climbing up swingsets on top of the running, swimming, and general obstacle-course-ing featured in his execution. Ace surely wasn't healthy, but "falling apart" seems like a bit of an exaggeration, based on the knowledge we currently have.

If nothing else, the "but" and "still" paint a picture of Ace being aware that his body is malfunctioning but choosing to limit his calorie intake anyways, which is an emotional layer far beyond the likes of a blunt "you have an eating disorder."

Nico

"No one accepted you because of your identity. You were constantly mocked by your family, your peers, and everybody else."

Does this highlighting make sense to people? Nico being bullied for being nonbinary is (sadly) the truth, but there's a lot of emotional coding to it that isn't necessarily 100% accurate. Like, is it really true that no one Nico met previously ever accepted them? I'm not going to pretend like there aren't deeply transphobic places out there, but "constantly mocks" further makes it sound like not only did everyone hate them, everyone did so physically and/or vocally, as opposed to simply judging in silence.

The weirdest thing about Nico's secret to me is that the writer took what otherwise could have been a factual secret and turned it into a largely emotional one. The only straight up fact we can garner from this is "Nico was mocked by their family and peers because of their identity." What happened to "people threw rocks and laughed at you because of your identity"? That would have been a (more or less) concrete fact that illustrates the exact same idea. But instead, the writer went all in on dramatizing that everyone was against Nico. Is there a reason for that?

Veronika

"You only took on your talent to distract yourself from your incessant need to harm yourself for fun."

Veronika's secret is kinda like Nico's plus Ace's, so it's nice to be able to put it here. Like Nico's, it interweaves factual truth and flavored truth in a way that makes distinguishing between them uncertain. And, like Ace's, it deals with a factual mental illness combined with its subjective motivations.

The core truth of this secret is "you took on your talent to distract yourself from your need to harm yourself," which is what can be seen in blue. However, that has very different implications than "you only," "incessant," and "for fun" add. Of the three, I would rank "incessant" as the most factual, "you only" as the least factual," and "for fun" in the middle.

I do think that Veronika's need to harm herself did feel incessant, but whether it was really for fun is up for debate. It's even more debatable whether distracting herself from self-harm was her ONLY reason for becoming a horror fanatic, as there are many other potential motivators out there, such as a genuine interest in the craft, or even the generalized boredom Veika describes as opposed to just the self-harm angle. In the end, I don't know how helpful making that distinction is for Veronika, but I'll throw it out there.

Arturo

"Your younger sister killed herself because of you. You never should have left."

Our first instance of forced opinion marks where things really start to get juicy. Although, uh, before you interpret my analysis in a way I didn't mean, just because something is marked as opinion doesn't mean it isn't an opinion I agree with. If Arturo sticking around would have saved Felicity's life, then, yeah, he probably shouldn't have left. However, in essence, "you never should have left" isn't a fact, it's an opinion-- one that prioritizes Felicity's life over whatever benefits Arturo gained from running away.

Again! I would also prioritize Felicity's life over whatever motivation Arturo had, assuming that they wouldn't have just, like, both died if he'd stuck around. However, the fact that I hold that opinion tells you something about me and my beliefs. I'm someone who holds the popular opinion of valuing others' lives. And therefore, from the pink text, we can also surmise that the secret writer values others' lives, or at least is willing to leverage that common opinion in order to make others feel guilty.

The only concrete fact present in Arturo's secret is that his younger sister killed herself. The idea that she did so because of Arturo, to some extent, is probably true, but it's based on the emotions of a person that the secret writer probably never even met. Especially when combined with the pink text, the secret gives the vibes of repeating Arturo's dark thoughts back to him to make him feel even worse about the situation. The writer's embellishments of a simple fact were designed to hurt Arturo.

Hu

"You were quite the hopeless child. Dying once wasn't enough, so you attempted suicide three times."

Hu attempted suicide three times: true. Hu's emotional state while doing so was pretty abysmal: yeah, probably. Dying once wouldn't be enough to counteract what she did: ????????

Much like Arturo's, I imagine that the pink text in this case is supposed to mirror an emotional "truth" that Hu holds in her heart. Still, I can't call it anything close to a "fact," given that it's completely based on individual interpretations of penance and morality. And it's an absolutely buckwild thing to say, especially while providing no context as to why anyone would hold that opinion.

It's hard to know what further motives the writer may have had beyond making Hu feel bad when we don't know what Hu did that made her feel as if she needed to die. For instance, if Hu accidentally killed her childhood friend, then we could use that as a data point that the writer was harsher towards murderers. Or, if it was putting her family into financial trouble, we could contrast how the writer treated Rose's secret versus Hu's. However, as we currently have no leads on what Hu's done that she needs to pay for (as her secret quote tells us), there's nothing more to be gained here.

Min

"You always treated the competition with ruthlessness, but poisoning them to win was a bit too far, wasn't it?"

One interesting facet of Min's secret is that it contains one of the most obvious uses of the writer injecting their own opinion into the secret. Like, the entire secret isn't even a statement, it's a rhetorical question. You can feel the writer raising their eyebrow at Min challengingly.

Once again, the pink text is being used to judge and/or shame Min for what she did. I really can't see any other purpose for the pink text beyond doing that.

Xander

"You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them."

An even more interesting facet of Xander's text is that this is the only instance in which the pink text is... sort of nice? I mean, not really, as it's still majorly playing to his survivor's guilt in a way that I'm sure would have made him feel awful had he ever read it.

No, what I'm talking about is the "it's not your fault" aspect. I really struggled with which of the Fs to assign to it. From Visiting Graves, it seems like the cause of Xander's family's death was drinking unpotable water, which was likely infected by the Spurlings. Therefore, factually, it isn't his fault, and should be blue.

However, Xander certainly feels like the weight of his family's death was on his shoulders. His secret quote defines his "feelings of guilt for having survived a catastrophe in which others died," and he says in the Bonus Episode itself that "the worst part of it all was that [he] wasn't there." Technically, Xander's family's death being his fault is subjective-- no matter what Unnamed Student says, we can never know for sure that he couldn't have done something if he was there. He is an Ultimate, after all. For those reasons, I felt like maybe the immense emotional connection for Xander should make those words purple.

But then I thought, if the secret was supposed to reflect Xander's beliefs, it would say that the incident was his fault. The writer breaks form in this secret. As opposed to Arturo, Hu, and possibly Min (we don't technically know how she feels about the incident, but I'd imagine that she would agree it went too far), instead of judging the secret's owner in a way that appears to mirror the way that they judge themselves, the writer goes against what Xander would say of himself, injecting their own opinion. That's weird.

Of course, I could definitely be blowing this out of proportion. It could just be that Xander acknowledges that, factually, the incident was not his fault, and therefore he would actually agree with the "it's not your fault." Furthermore, the writer still follows this up with the "just that you didn't go with them," which matches with their usual judgmental attitude. They can't be that soft on Xander when they're still saying it would have been better if he died.

Still. You'd think that the writer would want to play up Xander's insecurities that he was at fault for his family's deaths. If Xander were alive and the motive had been handled properly, Xander would have picked up a paper that told him that his family's deaths were explicitly not his fault. Is that really what MonoTV would have wanted?

David

"You exist to manipulate others. Everyone else exists to be taken advantage of."

You might be surprised to see David's secret all the way down here, given how relatively simple it is. Just like Charles' secret, it's two pretty blunt statements, and it's all written in one color. The difference is that literally nothing in this secret is objective fact.

Disregarding 1) any arguments of determinism ("David was always destined to be a manipulator because he has no free will") and 2) the possibility that this is a soft confirmation of DRDT being in-universe fictional characters ("David was always destined to be a manipulator because he, as a character, is reading his scripted lines"), there is genuinely no way to historically or scientifically verify anything that's said in these secrets. It's based on emotions and emotions alone.

But, whose emotions are they? David certainly believes this to some extent, given that his admission that he's a "lying, manipulative, scumbaggy piece of shit." The sentence "everyone else exists to be taken advantage of" is really aggressive, and, in combination with his Ch2 heel turn, it's very easy (and potentially correct) to believe that these are David's home-brewed feelings.

However, keep in mind the writer's propensity for intentionally stirring up the secret holder's most hurtful thoughts (like Hu) and things they'd rather forget (like Arturo). There's nothing in the secret itself that tells us that David enjoys being destined to be a manipulator, even if he believes in that idea.

David: You were right. I'm a good for nothing liar. But I call those lies "motivational speeches" and everyone eats it up.

Much like how the secret itself could be David's opinion or someone else's, we don't know which parties hold the opinion that David is a "good for nothing."

Look, I'm not trying to say that David has done nothing wrong in his entire life, even if villain apologism is my side hustle. I just think it's important to ask ourselves what entity is declaring this secret as "fact," considering that nothing about it is actually provable. At the very least, it's sure hard to accurately tell the group the exact contents of your secret when it's not based on anything factual.

Arei: Why did you lie about your secret? David: I'm sorry? I don't quite understand.

(Can you tell I was convinced to finally put this theory to paper whilst working on a David analysis...?)

On that note, though, I'll leave further speculation about David for another post, lest I go too far down the rabbit hole here. I just think there's a lot of room for interpretation when it comes to the manipulator secret.

Teruko

"How could I even select what secret to make your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."

And, surprising no one, Teruko's secret is at the very bottom. I don't even know where to start with this one.

We'll start at the beginning, I suppose-- Min's secret has one of the most obvious examples of the writer injecting their own opinion into the secret's text; this is the other. They even both have rhetorical questions! Twinsies :D

The first sentence has legit nothing to do with the "factual" contents of the secret at all. The entire sentence is 100% the writer's opinion. They even refer to themselves with the "I" pronoun!!! And the second sentence isn't much better. What's regarded as "worth killing for" is entirely up to the reader's opinion, and "just about" is incredibly vague. Is what Teruko's done 80% worth killing for? 90%? 100%, with a single exception?

I've also always thought that "killing for" was a weird choice. It should be "killing over," right? Killing for is like, "oh, I'd kill for a sandwich." Generally, it's seen as a positive thing, something you really want. If Teruko's life is worth killing for, that would put Teruko's life in place of the sandwich (lol). AKA, "oh, I'd kill for Teruko's life." Given what we know of Teruko's life-- that she's faced being orphaned, poverty, extreme injuries and more-- it's hard to imagine that anyone would willingly want that for themselves.

However, there are two ways I thought of to explain the word choice that don't involve assuming that the phrasing got messed up. The first is that the writer really covets Teruko's capacity to survive. As Teruko herself told us, she's the Lucky Student, so she can't die. "Kill for" could indicate that, despite all of the hardships Teruko has faced, the writer still believes that Teruko's constitution makes her life enviable and/or desirable.

The other is the more literal interpretation: that whatever Teruko has done has made others want to kill on her behalf. We already saw this once with Min, who felt compelled to attack Xander if it meant potentially saving Teruko's life. There's also our usual throughline from Prologue Hands Guy that ending the killing game and killing Teruko might be linked. Therefore, conversely, if there's anyone out there who's interested in the continuation of the killing game(s)-- XF-Ture Tech?-- it might stand to reason that they would be willing to kill in order to keep Teruko alive.

Both of these interpretations struggle with the lead-in of "just about everything you've done in your life," though. It's because both of them directly relate to Teruko's luck, which to me seems less like what she's done and more like who she is. But, the origins of Teruko's luck are undefined enough that I don't think I can use that to shoot either possibility down.

On to "the killing game is all your fault." I was tempted to make this sentence entirely pink, due to how likely it seems that this sentence is overexaggerated. Teruko is still a totally viable mastermind choice, to be clear. There are a lot of things that become a whole lot more convenient if Teruko is the mastermind, this secret included. However, if Teruko were a self-aware, despair-loving mastermind, why would she put a secret basically accusing her of such into the killing game?

You could argue that, if MonoTV were competent, no one would have seen this secret other than Teruko herself. It's still kinda weird to write that down for herself, though. It would have been a lot safer to just leave the secret off at "How could I even select what secret to make your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for." And, I don't think anyone who happened to see the secret would think too much of it. Perhaps Teruko wanted others to know she was the mastermind? If that were the case, why not correctly claim her secret when David asked her in 2-13?

(Once again, I really hope I'm right about this secret being Teruko's.)

In the end, I decided to just flag the "all" as being the writer's opinion, as an endeavor as grand and complicated as the killing game surely has more than one thing behind it. Every canon killing game, despite having a main instigator, had many other individuals aiding in its creation. And, the writer clearly has a vendetta against Teruko in this secret, so I'd be more surprised if they weren't overexaggerating her involvement to some degree.

However, "the killing game is your fault" remains in blue, even though we can't verify it to be true at the moment. If you recall, at the top, I decided to make the assumption that all of the secrets were true to at least some level, and this is where that kicks in for Teruko. Plus, if the writer (who is quite possibly the mastermind) believes that the killing game is at least partially Teruko's fault, then that's likely the case, no?

What Did We Learn?

Now that we're done with all of the secrets, let's turn it back to see if we can figure anything out about the writer. The ways in which secrets were handled can kinda be broken into tiers, like this:

Charles, Rose, Whit, and J all had 100% factual truth.

Arei, Levi, and Eden had some factual truth and some flavored truth, but the emotional truth was pretty easily verified as correct.

Ace, Nico, and Veronika had a mix of factual truth and flavored truth in a way where it was harder to parse what was feeling or fact.

Arturo, Hu, Min, and Xander had some factual truth, some flavored truth, and some forced opinion, all of which had some elements of assigning blame.

David and Teruko were struggling to present anything certifiably factual at all.

Meanwhile, if we try to categorize the secrets themselves:

Levi, Arturo, Min, and David all had secrets regarding harming others.

Ace, Veronika, and Hu all had secrets regarding harming themselves.

Rose, J, Arei, Charles, Whit, Arturo, and Xander all had secrets about their families, with the latter four relating to dead family members. (Levi also technically counts for this, but it's not explicitly mentioned in the secret.)

Eden and Nico have secrets relating to their identities and the crises they face because of them.

Teruko has a secret that's hard to define :/

What does this tell us? Well, honestly, not much. All of the people in the "straight facts" tier have secrets that relate to their families in non-violent ways, but that may just mean that the lower-stakes secrets were harder to dramatize. Everyone who dealt with a negative effect on a large group of people (Min with the competition, Xander with his large family and by extension town, David with... everyone, Teruko with those in a killing game) is near the bottom of the ranking, but it also follows that those with more grave secrets would face further scrutiny for it.

There's nothing as simple as "everyone whose secret referred to a death was harshly judged" or "everyone who harmed themselves was treated more kindly." Therefore, we can't really assign any of those straightforward beliefs to the writer. Alas.

However, assume with me for a moment that 1) the mastermind is the one who personally wrote out the secrets and 2) the mastermind of the killing game is one of its 16 contestants. Nothing too crazy, but those are both (kind of) assumptions.

(I know that, technically, MonoTV said "the real mastermind is one of you" at the end of the Prologue, which would mean that one of the 16 students has been confirmed to be the mastermind. However, I personally don't believe that's necessarily the case. You can read more about that in Mai's section of my (albeit outdated) Mastermind Ranking, if you wish.)

If the secret-writer is a mastermind hidden amongst the cast, that means that they must have written a secret about themselves. Which category would be the most likely category to find our mastermind in?

Well, the obvious answer is in the top tier, as they're the least suspicious. If you want to fly under the radar, give yourself a secret that won't be the talk of the town if it comes out of the bag. Veronika has already primed us to recognize that someone's secret doesn't have to be the worst thing they've ever done, which could be foreshadowing that we'll later learn that the mastermind's secret works the same.

In terms of the mastermind's specific identity, it's also interesting to consider which secrets had the most information packed into them. Most-if-not-all of these students attended Hope's Peak together as friends for a little while, but some were certainly closer than others. All of the secrets are secret, naturally, but to write a secret like David's, you have to know a lot about how his mind works, which implies closeness. The secrets that include something about how their owner thought or felt-- the "why," so to speak-- include Levi's, Eden's, Veronika's, Xander's, and David's. Conversely, you largely don't need to know anything about how Charles, Rose, Whit, J, Arei, Ace, or Nico thought or felt about their various circumstances, just that they happened. Arturo, Hu, Min, and Teruko are in sort of a weird place where the secret seems to reveal how they felt, but could also just be the writer feeling the same way.

In terms of the ones where you don't need to know anything, the results are a toss-up. You could argue that, if Whit were the mastermind, he could have hurt Charles way worse than he theoretically did, but you could also argue that Charles' secret was left more vague on purpose as a form of protection/favoritism.

However, the fact remains that, somehow, the person who wrote the secrets had to at least get into Levi, Eden, Veronika, Xander, and David's brains in order to transcribe how they felt about doing their various deeds. Who knows those five super well? Honestly, my first thought was Teruko, but it's also undeniable that a talent like David's or Whit's would lend itself well to understanding how others' minds work. And, of course, there's Mai, whose main talent thus far seems to be understanding others.

As a final note, I want to list a couple of secrets that I feel have anti-mastermind energy. Secrets you read and ask, "now, why would that person have written and released this information about themselves?" The level to which this is the case varies, but I'm going to include everyone I had the thought for. These people include:

Whit. Why would he tell everyone about a truth he prefers to omit?

J. Same thing: if she doesn't want everyone knowing she's Mariabella's daughter, why would she make that her secret? Why would she even create the opportunity for someone else to read that?

Eden. Less so than others (as, if she's in a supportive crowd, she might want this secret to get out), but if she's afraid of how people will treat her after learning she's a lesbian, why would she say it?

Nico. Same as Eden, basically.

Arturo. He really seems to want to forget this. Unless he's a mascohist-ermind (Ellis, is that you? /j /ref), I don't know why he'd remind himself, especially with such strong wording.

Teruko. Again, assuming she wants to keep this under wraps, why release that secret into the world?

You could also count Charles and/or Levi for this category. However, I decided that just because they seemingly forgot about the contents of their secret wouldn't mean that they would have no motivation to write it, which is really what I was judging.

Sorry if that wasn't as conclusive as you were hoping for! (/gen) If it were more conclusive, I probably would have made the theory earlier, or someone else would have had the same thought. As we learn more about the secrets in future installments like whether the Teruko/Xander swap thing is actually correct, these are the sorts of questions that I want to be keeping in mind.

And, of course, please take this analysis with a grain of salt! I always assume that everything in DRDT is 100% accurate to real-world logic because I really respect DRDTdev's storytelling. However, much like my note content analysis, I understand that going so far as to say "Charles can't be the mastermind because there's no way he'd know about how Veronika felt about her self harm" is quite possibly going too far. The most important facet of the secrets is that they made for an interesting story development, which they did! Any logic about how the in-universe secret-writer found out this information is just a cherry on top. But inspecting those cherries for quality is what we get up to 'round these parts.

Thank you for reading! And hopefully I'll find the time to write more DRDT stuff in the near future :)

[theamityelf]

What would it be like if the rest of class 78 had gone through rehabilitation and now had to take care of/rehabilatate despair makoto also kinda want hiro to be his main caretaker as he would be the most use to any criticism plus hiro should have a moment to shine

Yeah, I definitely see this being one of Hiro's moments. Especially given how he reacted to Taka being at his lowest, in THH, by trying to reach out to him and stuff.

Despair Hiro's role in the despair stuff was more of a bystander role than an active atrocity-doing role, and he's really good at burying that kind of trauma, so I could definitely see him being the one to try to comfort the others.

In particular, I like to kind of hearken to the dynamic in this Mini Makoto post by making Taka and Hiro both really supportive of Makoto's recovery. What I'm imagining is, Taka takes things the worst, once the rest of the 78th class (besides Makoto) turn away from despair, and Hiro initially stays close to him to encourage him to keep going. (Normally that would be Mondo, but Taka and Mondo did a lot of that stuff together and they need to kind of work on themselves in order to be around each other again.)

So, Taka just kind of tags along with Hiro in almost the same state of traumatized dissociation as the one he entered post-ch2 in THH.

And Hiro and Taka are the ones who find Makoto when he's reached a state where he doesn't care about being found.

Some kind of arc will have happened at this point. Maybe he successfully flooded the world with his version of despair, and just seeing the results of that overwhelmed him and he had to run away again, at which point he stopped somewhere and shut down. Or maybe something else, but basically, Makoto is over running from his friends.

Hiro figured out where he was, partially based on premonition and partially because it's someplace significant to him.

"Hey," Hiro says cautiously, as the pair of them approach Makoto, who is dirty and alone.

"Hi," Makoto says.

"Are you...gonna run?"

Makoto shrugs apathetically. "Do you want me to?"

Hiro takes another step closer. "We're not gonna...y'know. Anymore. We're, uh..." He tries to think of how to phrase it.

"Are you happy?" Makoto asks.

What a question. The innocent question of a friend, or the embittered question of a victim? Hiro didn't personally do anything to Makoto, even as despair, but it's not like he was exactly a refuge either.

"We're...trying to do better," he says.

"Does that make you happy?" Makoto asks again, not missing a beat.

"I think...maybe it will. Later, I mean."

"Is that okay, that it's later and not now?"

"Yeah. That's fine. I mean, I think Taka would say it's better that we're working for it." (Looping Taka into the conversation, even though Taka has shown no interest in talking for maybe-weeks by this point.)

Makoto looks away, and there's an eerie finality to it. "Good."

"Good?"

Makoto nods. "As long as you're happy."

The utter lack of emotion in Makoto's demeanor is honestly giving Hiro the creeps, but he's scared for Makoto, not himself. "Happier if we were all together. How 'bout it? Class reunion? They'll be totally relieved to see you're okay, for serious."

"Okay," Makoto says. No resistance. No particular care.

It's at least a couple days' journey back to the others, on foot. During that time, Taka starts to come back to life. He still doesn't talk right away, but he starts taking the initiative where Makoto is concerned. Any self-destructive behaviors Makoto has picked up get met with silent hall monitor energy. When Hiro portions out food for everyone, Taka adds a little more food for Makoto and just stares at him sternly. Makoto eats without showing any resistance.

When they reach the rest of the group, Hiro walks ahead to inform everyone that he's bringing Makoto and warn them about the state he's in. Taka stays with Makoto.

He stays with Makoto after, too.

When Taka starts talking, it's in defense of Makoto. Maybe Sayaka keeps going up to him to apologize, and Taka shakes his head and says, "Mondo." What he means by it is, "You should stay away from Makoto right now, for the same reason I should stay away from Mondo right now," and Sayaka's the kind of person who might get all that without further explanation.

Hiro is determined to keep class morale up, and as Taka recovers (largely emboldened by the fact that Makoto is still pretty lost), his role as moral compass starts to come back into play. He sees that everyone is on a journey of recovery and penance, and he's committed to helping them stick to it!

Junko is still alive and active, at this point, but her classmates keep her in check. Secretly, the only reason she's still doing stuff is to give her classmates something to focus on that isn't their own guilt. Sakura, in particular; if Sakura didn't feel needed, there's a possibility her feelings of culpability would drive her to heroically sacrifice herself, helping a lot of people at the cost of her own life. But with Junko still being a rascal, Sakura needs to be there to help wrangle her (and Mukuro, maybe; I haven't decided what's up with Mukuro yet).

So yeah, Hiro and Taka are both towing Makoto around, trying to bring him back to himself.

[yinyuedijun]

the "SoW shaped throat" thing is a new copypasta where you're basically acting as a cartoon villain looking at something really good (which SoW IS!! love you miss mao) and going "hmmm that's alright i guess.. 🙄🙄😒😒" but then when nobody's looking the villain hides/eats it and scurries away with a suspiciously shaped throat

idk if i explained it well 💔💔💔 but love your work so much!! i always appreciate the thought and care put into each character and dynamic and world building <333 can't wait for ch2

NO YOU EXPLAINED IT PERFECTLY!!!!! thank you I truly appreciate the explanation as im literally too old to understand new memes now.... i am very aged 💀💀💀

AND WAHHH I'm so glad you enjoyed SoW <3333 love u dearly anon!!! I hope you'll enjoy ch2 when I post it!!

[p1a9u3]

PeepHole Ch2: Disturbances

Masterpost Ch.2 - Ch.3 Pairing: Dylan Matthews x Fem Oc

Rating: 18+ (mdni)

Genre: Neighbors/Strangers to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Slow-burn

Summary: First impressions are always important, luckily Amoya didn't fuck her's up...right?

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: (This story takes place in 2024) Mental illness (anxiety, OCD), Language, Age gap (5 years), nothing really happens in this chapter.

Status: Unedited

Authors Note: I am so sorry, this took forever to come out, it's not even a long chapter. There happened to be a lot of shit wanting to happen as I was trying to finish this chapter, so things got pushed back. I will try my best to not be so lazy and get shit written and posted in a timely manner, but for now, here is the second chapter, I hope you enjoy

"Hello?"

You silently cursed yourself for waking up your neighbor at six in the morning. You step to the side to apologize profusely. Looking up from the floor your eyes trail up seeing black socks, grey sweatpants, a plain white t-shirt, finally reaching his face to see round glasses and messy hair.

'He looks familiar'

"I am so sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just tripped and this thing is really heavy, I hope I didn't damage your door, I'm sorry if I did and I'm sorry for waking you again." You spewed out

Dylans POV- Tuesday, February 27, 2024 Time: 5:57AM In a deep sleep, Dylan rolled onto his side, dreaming of himself as a best-selling author. He signed books for his fans, gave speeches about how his book was several years in the making, and how happy he was that his fans stayed long enough to see it finished.

-thump!-

Dylan jolted up from his sleep, looking around his room, thinking maybe someone was trying to break in,

"The fuck?" He sits up straight letting his eyes adjust to the dark and looks around the room, not seeing anything.

Or maybe it was in his head. Laying his head back onto his pillow, he closed his eyes slowly falling back to sleep.

-thump!-

Dylan's eyes shoot back open, grabbing his glasses from beside his bed and turning on his side lamp, he looks around his room. Getting out of bed and exiting his room, he quickly and quietly searches around his apartment. Not seeing anything out of order, he silently steps to his front door to look out the peephole. Seeing what looked like a large wall instead of the door that faced his, he also saw fingers wrapped around the side facing him. Letting out a sigh he opens the door

"Hello?" placing his right hand on the door frame and holding the door open with his left, waiting for a reply from the person who woke him from his dream.

Dylan wasn't really the type to get all flustered over a pretty girl, he'd acknowledge a good-looking face but then move on. But he couldn't help himself, you were gorgeous, he almost forgot why he was standing there in the first place until he heard your voice.

"I am so sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just- I tripped and this thing is really heavy, I didn't damage your door- I hope I didn't, I'm sorry if I did and I'm sorry for waking you again." You spewed out, fumbling over your words.

Why did he think that was kind of cute? He's gonna blame it on the fact that he just woke up and is still delirious, he didn't notice how your eyes slowly dragged up his body before, too busy dragging his own eyes over your body. When his eyes finally met yours the first thing he thought of was a siren, not one of those magical mermaids, but a siren, the ones who sing to sailors and drag them to their deaths and eat away at their drowned bodies. He's not going to lie to himself, he definitely thinks it's sexy, your eyes included. If he wasn't supposed to formulate a response to you he'd just keep staring, but he's been staring for too long.

"Ahem- You're fine- it's fine, you're good. Are you ok, that was pretty loud, did you hurt yourself?" If he could slap himself right now he would for sounding so stupid. -End of Dylan's POV

"I'm good, just hit my head a little, again I'm really sorry. You can go back to sleep, I'll be sure to not disturb you anymore." You apologize again, feeling like you probably ruined his routine.

'He really does look familiar'

-click-

You hear your own door open this time, turning to see your mom step out with a worried look on her face until she notices you standing away from her.

"O moj Bože, What is taking so long? Why are you just standing there?" Your mom steps out of your apartment, finally noticing the tall man standing in front of you. (Translation: oh my god)

"Sorry Mama, I tripped and woke him up, the thing is so damn heavy I dropped it twice." You motion to the man standing in front of you finally breaking eye contact with him

You hold onto the bed frame, bracing your shoulder against the side of it and sliding it down a little so it isn't blocking your door anymore.

"Oh we're sorry, please go back to bed we'll be sure to not bother you anymore." Your mom apologized for again you as she looked up at the man.

"Yeah- no it's ok, I wasn't even sleep. I- Do you guys need help?" He lied. He was asleep, having a nice dream too.

"Nonono- you don't have to do that we can figure it out ourselves, please don't let me bother you anymore." You look back up at him, giving him a small smile before turning to your mother.

"Amoya, maybe let the man help. My back is killing me anyway." Your mother looks back at the man smiling up at him. "I strained my back bringing these boxes up here, you wouldn't mind helping my daughter bring this one thing in would you"

Stepping next to you, your mom sly whispers to you. "He's cute" Sighing to yourself, you pinch the bridge of your nose

"No no, not at all." Dylan steps up grabbing onto the headboard. "It's just this right?"

You nod your head as you step to the other end to help him carry it inside as your mom holds the door open "Thank you, again I'm so sorry for waking you up."

You know you're apologizing a lot but you can't help it, you feel like an idiot.

"And again it's fine really." Noticing you stepping to the other end of the headboard "I got it, just hold the door for me, yeah?" Crouching down Dylan lifts the headboard from the middle letting it lean against his chest

'I- oh ok" You step back letting him carry it, stepping next to your mom you hold the door open, your mom stepping inside and out of the way.

Turning to the side Dylan steps into the apartment

"Second door to the left, you can set it against the wall" your mom instructs watching him effortlessly walk to the room. You follow closely behind.

Setting the headboard against the wall. Dylan stands up straight with a huff pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. You stood at the doorway, unintentionally gawking.

"Is there anything else I can help with" Turning to you, he takes a few steps toward you looking down at you.

"I- uh- no no, that's it. Please don't let me keep you any longer." Snapping out of your daze and breaking eye contact, you take a step back and to the side getting out of his way. “I’ll be sure to pay you back sometime soon”

Dylan nods with a smile stepping out of your room to the front door, your mother not far from it smiling to herself. Getting closer

‘I’ve definitely seen his face before’

You trail behind as he approaches the front door “I’m Dylan by the way, forgot to introduce myself” he spins around before stepping out of your apartment.

‘The name’s familiar too’

“Amoya, I’m Amoya.” You replied back meeting him at the door “I won’t apologize again cuz I’m sure it’s annoying but I promise I will pay you back.” Your mom steps next to you placing a hand on your shoulder

“You should let her cook for you sometime, you two could get acquainted with each other” Nudging you slightly she smiles back at Dylan pleased with her suggestion

“I’ll keep that in mind when thinking of my payment, I’ll uh- I’ll go now then” Stepping back to into the hall he gives a small wave before turning to his own apartment and steps inside.

You shut the door after seeing him shut his, turning to your mother who simply smiles back at you playing innocent as she walks into your living room. Sitting on a folded chair you had brought with you, she crosses her legs giving you a look you know well enough.

“I’ve already ruined my first introduction and apologized profusely like a babe who just stole some candy” You already knew what she was thinking; you usually do.

“I didn’t say anything Ini, Znam da misliš da je sladak” She smiles slyly standing up and walking into the kitchen to unpack spices. (Translation: I know you think he's cute)

Walking back into your bedroom, ignoring your mother’s comment you enter your room to set up your bed.

prev. - Ch.2 - Ch.3

Authors Note: Again I am so sorry, this took forever to come out, I wish this chapter was longer to make up for the amount of time it took to be published. I hope I haven't pissed anyone off, and that people are still interested in this story. I genuinely want to write this story, my life just gets really hectic sometimes and I lose the motivation. If you are reading this, Thank you for coming back, or if you weren't here when I uploaded the first chapter. Hi, thanks for checking this story out. This is nowhere near done which scares me a little, but fingers crossed it doesn't take me a lifetime to finish.

[machiroads]

anirevo 2024 con report belooooooow

THURSDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 8TH

Left my office at 4:30. Took the bus to the ferry straight from work except the GODDAMN BUS DIDN'T ACTUALLY STOP TO PICK ME UP so I had to wait for the next one and missed the 6:00 ferry so I didn't get to my hotel in Vancouver until after 10pm oof

The slow bus was very nice once i got over being mad about the fast bus leaving me on read by way of listening to linkin park. It goes through some very quaint rural areas.

I purchased a can of wine on the ferry which was like $15 for 8.5oz. I don't know how I feel about this but I do feel like I got ripped off because the wine was only ok

I edited and posted ch2 of WTBL&W entirely on my phone which may or may not have been a mistake. Getting the html formatting right wasn't too bad, but editing the splash image for twitter and bsky on photopea was uhhhhhhhhh a mistake. FAFO

FRIDAY AUGUST 9TH

My hotel had one of those fancy toto washlets so you bet your ass my butt was squeaky clean all weekend

My hotel also had a room service menu that had a bowl of oatmeal for $14 as an offering. Which. No.

I got an actual breakfast at a tiny hole in the wall crepe place staffed by a single old man, then trundled over to the con to pick up my badge at like 10ish. I was in line behind a cute couple in horimiya cosplay

The first panel I actually wanted to see wasn't until like 12 so I sat on the seawalk, finished my coffee, watched floatplanes, and replied to AO3 comments. 11/10 banger morning.

I watched an improv comedy D&D skit, which was fun, then traipsed down to the exhibition hall to do Some Shopping

MERCH REPORT: nobody really had heroaca stuff? Or if they did it was just the main kids. Still lots of people with HQ stuff, which I'm encouraged to see years after its ending. I'm happy with the pin selection this year tho, I picked up some nice stuff (but I think i will need to find additional capacity on my button collection because it's p much full oops)

BONUS COSPLAY REPORT: There also weren't really any heroaca cosplayers either, i saw like 1 shinsou, a couple bkgs, and a handful of people in nonspecific UA gym uniforms. Very strange. I did, however, see like 3 Nanamis within the span of 2 minutes on Saturday. (i don't even go here re jjk but he was the basic white boy cosplay of the year)

I spent like 2 hours in the exhibition hall and my brain hurt so I got poke for lunch, went back to the hotel to eat it, then took a nap

I went back for another couple panels on Friday night (a panel with vancouver VA graham hamilton, and another improv advice panel)

SATURDAY AUGUST 10TH

I went bra shopping on saturday morning because i accidentally overstuffed my backpack last week and zipped my bra into the zipper and tore the liner whilst trying to extract it. This is not relevant to the con, however it was an important part of my weekend

There wasn't anything I wanted to see at the con in the morning so I didn't get there until like 2:00 so I could line up for the cosplay contest. I'd never been to one before, and I don't really cosplay mself, but I've recently been watching some sarah spaceman videos, so I thought it would be fun to go see a contest for the first time.

On the schedule the contest is supposed to start at 2:30. There's like 6 down-and-backs of queueing space for people waiting to get in. When I got there around 2ish there were people milling about saying they'd cut the line. I loitered a bit longer until some admin looking folk went around telling people to disperse because queueing outside of the taped off area was a "fire hazard", and to come back at 3:00 when the event started. At this point, the line of people illicitly queued for this event wrapped probably halfway around the building, and the VCC is a Large Building.

I assume the delayed start time was probably due to pre-judging going long (thank u sarah spaceman for this education i now know how cosplay contests work), so i wasn't too fussy about that, but the fire hazard thing was a little silly to me because I'd been in the exhibition hall already which to me seemed like waaaaaay more of a fire hazard than a generally orderly line. Regardless. I bummed around on the seawalk for a bit and then went back just before 3 and managed to snag a seat. The contest itself ended up being really fun, and I'm glad i stuck around for it.

I went to another 3 panels on Saturday night, all 3 of which had similar queue capacity issues, and all 3 of which started late. Again, when the panels themselves started, they were all really fun, but logistically it seemed like they had some challenges. It does feel a bit silly to complain about though when I have literally nothing else to do that weekend tho haha

I attended the Philosophy of Science in FMA and Dr Stone (TIL epistemology is a word), a panel about adaptations that are superior to the source material, and...............yaoi bedtime stories. Which was a hoot.

SUNDAY AUGUST 11TH

Kind of a chill morning. Got some goodies at a bakery for breakfast / lunch / to bring home, checked out of the hotel, then trundled over to the con.

I went to a panel that was just a bunch of tables set up with colouring sheets and books and stuff and that was super what I needed. I coloured the eeveelutions from memory (and only forgot half of their colour schemes), and then there was a little time left so I also coloured in a cardcaptor sakura.

I thought about attending cosplay life drawing afterwards but ended up just heading home after colouring since I was kind of Done after a full weekend. There was another improv dragon ball tribute scheduled, but not until like 6:30pm and if I stuck around for that I wouldn't have gotten home today lol

No bus mishaps on the way home fortunately

ANYWAYS that's all folks thanks for reading about my dramatization of what was actually a pretty chill weekend.

[colormepurplex2]

Even though you JUST posted the first part to your new jk story YOU ATE THAT TF UP.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE UPCOMING PARTS

Thank youuu! I, too, am excited for the next parts because it's going to be such a ride and I'm glad you're along for it 😂 may we all eat well in Ch2 👀

[llycaons]

vs manga ch2

askeladd is so fucking ugly in the manga 😭 he has this shit-eating grin CONSTANTLY. he's mostly just irritating so far - I think the anime did a better job of making him fun

HIS DREAM DAD IS SO MEAN TO HIM...

after this first appearance, we get a shot of thorfinn suddenly again as a young child - just heartbreaking

I've seen a few posts like 'haha I'd just kill askeladd in his sleep rip thorfinn but I'm different' and I feel like the unwillingness to sympathize with this relentless stubbornness of a child soldier with nothing left of his entire world but an ingrained sense of pride and a dagger is similar to how thorfinn responds to hordaland here. she can't fathom hurting anyone, and she shouldn't have to in order to live a live free of abuse and servitude. and the unwillingness to try to understand their perspective and openly mock them for doing something unfathomable to them...idk it feels cruel. killing askeladd wouldn't have healed thorfinn from his years of trauma. and hordaland doesn't want to see or enact any more violence, she just wants to live in peace. she has the RIGHT to kill her slaver, but she's not stupid or weak for not wishing to do so. and where would she go, anyway?

well...I guess that's answered next

I liked the art on this a lot. the characters look a little janky, but their emotions are conveyed REALLY effectively, the fight scenes are solid, and the nature/snow scenes are lovely

this mini-arc worked fine in the anime, but the fact that it was originally the first few chapters slotted in so nicely with the overall story

[dofnup]

REAL TALK QUESTION I’m working on starghans but the inner vertices of my star keep wandering (like the inner corner holes don’t line up)

Did you use a pattern? How are yours so perfectly even?

(I used a YouTube video)

I gotchu fam!

Ok, like I mentioned in the notes of the original starghan post, the pattern I'm using is no longer available, don't know why. It was called Beth's Baby Starghan. I first used it 15 years ago (!) to make a starghan for my firstborn. I have since made many starghans and I memorized the pattern. So I don't need to refer back to it. Along the way I have also made 3 key mods, which I will go into.

Let's do this!

A star is made up of peaks and valleys. Peaks are 3dc,2ch,3dc shells. Valleys are skip 2 stitches.

Round 0: magic loop, 5 3dc clusters separated by 2ch

Tighten loop. This should form a pentagony shape. This was my first mod, the original started with just 5 dcs in the loops, which made for a very hole-y center.

For Round 1: join to top of ch3 from previous row, and here's my second mod: instead of immediately doing a ch3 to start the next round, slip stitch twice to get to the next peak (2ch space). Then do a ch3 there, counting as the first dc in the shell. Finish the shell.

This helps "hide" the ch3s in the peaks, rather than having them at the valleys and sometimes causing something that looks like a double hole.

Once you have made the first shell, go straight to making the next shell in the next ch2 space. Round 2 is just 5 shells.

At the end of the row, join with slip stitch to first ch3, and again slip stitch to the ch2 space.

Round 3: ch3 (counts as first dc), finish the shell.

Note! Tricky bit coming up!

When you have completed the shell, you will need to dc into the first dc from the previous round. Sometimes the loop for this dc is "swallowed" or hidden by the shell. So you may need to scrunch the shell to reveal the loop. This is important so you have the same number of dcs on each side of the peaks.

For this round, you will do 2dcs. Then you come to middle of the valley. You will skip two stitches.

Then you will make 2 dcs again, and you should be at the next 2ch space to make the next shell. Round 3 is shell, 2dcs, skip 2 stitches, 2dcs, shell, around.

(Oh no I have another picture but I've reached the limit)

Round 4 and the rest: this is where I usually stop counting. I just do shell, dcs until the middle 2 stitches (which should be visible as the 2 skipped stitches from the previous row), skip 2 stitches, dcs until the next shell. But for reference, Round 4 should be shell, 4dcs, skip 2 stitches, 4dcs, shell. If you want to count, every subsequent row should increase each side by 2 stitches, and you always skip the middle 2 stitches.

And there you go. For babies I usually stop around 20 rounds. That's how big my firstborn's first starghan is and it's still their lovey. But you can make them as large as you want. Just keep in mind that every round eats more yarn than the previous! i made a huge starghan for myself and it was really slow going on those last rounds. The baby ones are more of an instant gratification ;)

[9haharharley1]

The Proposal, Ch2 teaser!!

He placed his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers in front of his face. He looked at Walter with serious brown eyes. Walter shrunk in on himself as he finished eating.

"I don't like this," Lance finally admitted. "I like the idea, and I like the program! And you know I stand by you one hundred percent, but this..." He threw his hands up, shaking his head. "Killian? Why him?"

"You were there, man," Walter muttered back. He fidgeted with his fingers in his lap. "They're finally listening to me about my gadgets, a-and they found all my old files! I never thought I could get Director Jenkins to listen to my rehab program, and this was the perfect opportunity! If this works, and we can reform Killian, then just think of all the other people we can help!" He stared at Lance with wide eyes, leaning forward in his seat as he tried to get his point across. "All those people who have been locked up, most of them with no other choice than to turn to a life of crime... This could be the program they need to get back on their feet! To integrate back into society without worrying about falling into old habits! To start fresh!" He looked away from those scrutinizing eyes. "Everyone should deserve to have a second chance... Killian included."

Silence fell over the room. Lovey flew over from the counter, landing on Walter's shoulder and nuzzling into his neck. Walter smiled, reaching up to stroke her gently. Beside him, Lance released a heavy sigh.

"Kid," he started, "one day your bleeding heart is gonna get you killed." Walter sunk further into his chair. "Luckily, I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon." Walter peeked up at him from under his bangs. Lance was giving him one of those rare soft smiles and his insides started to squirm at the sight. Walter blushed, but he smiled back.

"Thanks, Lance..."

---

I think I like posting these little excerpts for my fics! Even if I never finish them, I can still put a small portion out there just because I can, and that feels good to me. I feel like I'm actually getting some writing done and after having gone so many years with just writing in spurts, it's nice to remind myself that, hey, I can post these short things and that's awesome! Because I'm writing more now than I have in almost 8 years with a few exceptions here and there, and there's been noticeable improvement! And I'm pretty proud of myself ngl.

[ddelline]

friday fic f*ckery (wip wednesday 2 days late)

blurb | she returns! with updates! later than promised! new cv/sm snippet, after ..... six months :,) well, work kicked my ass, ch236 certainly didn't do any of us any favors, and then I f*cked off to latam for a month of vacation. but I'm back!!! rested, tan (for ca the 2nd time in my life) and freshly (re)inspired. so we can have some cv/sm ch2 snippet, as a treat ;a;

premise | we're entering culling game territory. that's all imma say for now. well ok, not much happens here, I mostly just wanted to show signs of life lol

Satoru is falling.

He’s falling, rapidly dropping from at least half a kilometer skywards. Cursing the inherent capricious fickleness of Prison Realm—Prison Realm, Buddha, Hell incarnate, whom- slash whatever has stuck him in this never ending loop—he rights himself midair, fumbling his graceless way through multi-seals of Red and Blue until he’s maneuvered himself from horizontal to upright. He cushions a dense amount of amplification/reversal beneath the soles of his feet, puffs an audible breath, and looks down.

Beneath his feet stretches a silver-black, opaque barrier. By cursory glance he estimates its radius to at least a handful miles. The skies above are overcast, though bright; the light spearing through the banks of cloud bounces off the barrier, giving its matte gray hull a sheen which flickers and wobbles in stretches of paces and tracts.

The barrier is an obvious giveaway: this is a Culling Game colony. Satoru’s well enough familiar; remembers a stretch of eight sleepless hours in which he’d devoured dossier after dossier of news clippings, incident reports, stat compendiums and autopsies, two weeks into the Culling Games, and a scant forty eight hours post-unsealing. He remembers boring naked eyes into a painstakingly noted, three-dimensional map-cum-graph of the Culling Game territory; affected regions: Tohoku, Kanto, Chūbu, Kansai, Chugoku and Kyushu; confirmed colonies: Aomori, Iwate, Miyagi, Saitama, Chiba, Tokyo, Tokyo, Kanagawa, Yamamashi, Aichi, Shiga, Kyoto, Hyogo, Osaka, Hiroshima and Kagoshima.

Satoru has taken in the broad sweeps of Tokyo’s metropolis from far above one too many times to mistake wherever he is for anywhere closeby. What he chances: a large city along the coast; given his current proximity to an Eastbound shoreline, as well as a considerable expanse of forested areas and roiling, yellow fields eating into the scenery, he’s going to assume he’s either a few hundred kilometers North or South of Tokyo. Maybe Miyagi. Or Chūbu. 

The barrier is too dense and too cleverly constructed to allow Satoru to peek through and glean more than the most base information: cityscape and skyline are barely visible, the shapes and contours which oscillate beneath the ripples of the sky-in-the-barrier appear like a mirage out of focus. There is vague movement far below, tiny prickles of dots which move every which way. Every few intervalled seconds reveal noiseless, sepia-tinted flashes. Explosions.

Well. There’s only one way in which he can proceed, unless he’d planned on hightailing it out of there. Which he hadn’t. Satoru, at this point past the point of expecting the worst—and somehow, cyclically, living (dying, really) through it—makes his way downwards warily.

He doesn’t know what to expect, in truth; twenty nine years, an indeterminate number of days, weeks or years inside Prison Realm, plus an unknown bout of days cycling through iterations of timelines which may or may not have actually occurred—he’s been exposed to shoddy veils cracking around the density of his own cursed energy; written tests covering the cursed fundamentals of purification barriers; barrier techniques specifically tailored to keep him excluded from what’s outside, safely contained within.

He doesn’t know what to expect here.

Satoru touches down on the barrier.

“Yo! I’m Kogane!”

If he weren’t blasé about the most outlandish of jujutsu techniques being shoved in his face by now, Satoru wonders if he wouldn’t have reared back into guard. He squints at the cursed spirit which has materialised in his face out of thin air. He’s read himself to the basics of this, but it’s his first time seeing it.

He’s about to reply ad hoc when it continues, voice tinny and clearly electronically scrambled. “The death matches known as the Culling Game are underway inside of this barrier!! Once you step in, you’re a player too!!”

“I—”

“Knowing that, will you go inside anyway!?”

“That’s morbid,” huffs Satoru.

The cursed spirit, Kogane—its structural composition isn’t all curse, atom constellations mashed down somewhere halfway between cursed spirit and inanimate object—undulates and flicks its tail. It doesn’t go on, seemingly content to wait for his reply. It’ll have to be in the affirmative or negative, Satoru guesses. A game interface, then. Curse based, but all in all a tool.

“Sure, I’ll tap in.” What’s adding some more death, decay and public property destruction to his already considerable tally?

Kogane’s tail whips twice, ceasing when it’s a perfunctory line, its arrow-like tip pointing straight into the glassy dome beneath. Beware, ye who enter—but here’s a map, lest you get lost en route to the deathmatch arenas. “Tch, sick bastards,” he mutters.

When it next speaks, its delivery is robotic, flat: “Gojō Satoru has joined the Culling Game. Would you like to review the rules?”

Satoru has already reviewed the rules. Most cold, factual data obtained and recorded on the Culling Game had been cursory at best—and guess work and estimates at worst—Ijichi plus Nitta times two had managed to patchwork sorcerer’s statements, CCTV and aerial scans, and classified government reports into a general debrief: the (probable) how’s, when’s and why’s of the game. 

“I’m  good,” he says.

Kogane tuts. Mechanical and rote though it may be, it sounds chiding. Then it disappears, flickering twice, its shape disrupted by something static-adjacent until it bleeds out of sight and mind.

“Huh.” Satoru waits on the spot for a few seconds—parses out a few seconds, in case there’s more incoming.

Nothing else happens. He rights himself, and sinks a foot through the barrier.

[xiaokuer-schmetterling]

bonus materials (take 2 lol) for You Are What You Eat

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ch1 stuff

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lwj arriving. graceful like a crane

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ch2 stuff

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wangxian: FREAK4FREAK ✨✨✨

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ch3 stuff

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so around min 18 of ch3, i expressed some opinions on sex ed. if you happen to be looking for a "good" sex ed resource (and by that i mean uncoupled from guilt and/or shame, queer&trans friendly, feminist but not hateful about it, and more than just an anatomy lesson)

-> please check this out www.scarleteen.com

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gotta listen to it and remind myself of the other ch3 stuff lol

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ch4 stuff

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@xxmiserysmilesxx says: go the fuck to sleep and it makes me think of this

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ch5 stuff

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https://www.tumblr.com/xiaokuer-schmetterling/779406498405171200/podficcer-ao3-fic-author-life-hack

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wwx about to FUCK SOME SHIT UP if they harm lwj

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a joke I was reminded of (i'm not old but i am gross--john mulaney)

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ch6 stuff

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pics of NORBERT ON HIS RAMBLE

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by xkspods9 (@xkspods9)

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ch7 stuff

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john mulaney--prove you're not a robot

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reddit post on georgette heyer books as an intro if you don't know them

my favorite GH novel: the grand sophy

favorite GH novel quotes

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end post

[bearsinpotatosacks]

I feel like I'm going through a bit of a shift in my writing recently, so I'm constantly asking people about how they do it. In the past, I've mostly written one shots, so for them I just work through the fic quite quickly. But I'm still figuring out longer things. For some other things I started out trying to get things prewritten, then get impatient and start posting. For 6 days it's been different, I started writing it as a one shot that I wrote out different bits on based on what I wanted to write. Then I realised that I wanted it to be multi chaptered so split it into three distinct sections: Richie relapses into his eating disorder, it gets worse, and then people finding out/recovery.

One thing that's helped is that I use Ellipsis to write, now, and it's quite useful. I did a list of all the scenes (eg. Tina makes Richie eat family, then Ebra gives Richie a sandwich to eat etc) then make it into a heading. That makes it into an outline so I can see how many bits I have left to write.

Anyway, back to 6 days. For the first 2, I set myself a goal of trying to get 2 scenes written a day, which turned out to be quite difficult when the scenes turned out to be quite big, what the scenes were was more about how I felt on the day. Some days I'd do it chronologically, others I'd write one current timeline scene and a flashback etc.

I realised I had a bit of a stressful Christmas as well as my birthday around the same period, I was crocheting a blanket for a Christmas present, so basically gave myself a few weeks off as I was so burnt out from writing non stop for 4 weeks straight.

Now I've kind of hit a block. I'm very very slowly writing chapter 3, but I'm also working on a flashback chapter that's going to be in between ch2 and 3 where we saw what everyone else was doing and thinking about Richie outside of his POV (since chapters 1 and 2 were solely in his POV, and chapter 3 starts to bring in other's).

I've also reached the stage where I keep getting side tracked with other new ideas. I've got 2 Mikey Lives AUs already planned out (one where Richie stops Mikey ending his life and they fall in love after and another more heartbreaking one where they were married but are on the verge of divorce). I've got my version of season 4. I've got a few ideas that I planned out a while ago.

But I'm also pressuring myself with how season 4 is getting closer, so any ideas I've got that are set post season 3 may be null and void by June. And to top it all off I keep pressuring and putting myself down about not writing enough (despite how I've been ill on and off since before Christmas and I work a full time job)

I love your writing, I was just curious about your writing process? Do you go chapter by chapter? Or do you pre-write then post? I like finding out how other people write, it inspires me

thanks for asking :) yeah, I feel like everybody does it differently. For Failure to Thrive, I have a massive google doc containing the whole fic in a draft stage, which I then edit and sort into chapters as I go. So pre-write then post. Some parts are really fleshed out and basically fully written, other parts are much more bare-bones, just ideas. I updated the New York chapters so quickly because I had it written and ready to go for over a year haha.

The scenes I write first are the ones that come to me the most clearly, and the ones that really excite me. I started with this idea of Hell Farm, so I wrote a big draft right up to Carmy getting injured there, and then I jumped right ahead to the New York scenes and everything beyond, leaving a big gap in the middle. I then did the middle part of the fic chapter by chapter, seeing what people responded to - which characters they liked, what scenes, etc. I didn't have a very fixed idea of what I wanted for that part, so I kinda just wrote about my own experiences in different cities and countries, but through Carmy's eyes.

So yeah basically, I wrote the beginning and the end simultaneously, knowing how I wanted those parts to align and maybe feeling more confident about them, and left the middle to be a lot more open to exploration. I think I did that because it's important to write the parts you're excited about first - forcing a chronological chapter-by-chapter method might kill the momentum. I'm still editing and making revisions, right up until posting.

I hope this helps! I'd be interested to hear if you do something similar?

[goldrushzukka]

aidays playlist breakdown: chapter 2

ryan buzzfeed unsolved voice let's get into it

here's the fic (spoilers ahead)

here's the playlist

careless whisper by george michael

this is the only song mentioned by name in the fic. it’s in the chapter. it’s canon. i talked about this in this post about zuko’s taste in abba, but in my mind aidays zuko is very much a classic gay icon enjoyer. like he is a friend of dorothy. anyway i put this song in the fic mostly as a joke (saxophone sexiest instrument of all time) but it is also a little bit about them.

(ID: "To the heart and mind / Ignorance is kind / There's no comfort in the truth / Pain is all that you'll find". End ID)

obviously this is like a silly little meme song whatever whatever IS THIS NOT THEM? IS THIS NOT THEM? let's lie to ourselves and each other about what this means and what we feel because it's easier. it's safer. ignorance is kind.

(ID: "Should've known better than to cheat a friend / And waste a chance that I've been given / So I'm never gonna dance again / The way I danced with you". End ID)

a little bit of liberty taken with that first line bc they're lovers and not friends and there's no "cheating" except for breaking the rules of their arrangement by developing non-casual feelings but. the rest of it is sooooooooo. ougugh. like. for the whole "breakup" period of the fic (ch5-9) both zuko and sokka are trying to deal with the fact that actually, there is no one else. there will never be anyone else. they have ruined each other for anyone else. zuko goes on these little dates with jet and the whole time he's wondering when he's going to feel it, that thing he felt with sokka. when is it going to feel the same? when is it going to feel anywhere near as good, as right?

sleeping in by all time low

the first few chapters of the fic are so funny bc pretty much every song on the playlist is saying the exact same thing in a slightly different way.

(ID: "Tell me that you got nowhere to be / Can we stay all day (All day) / Lay low in our lazy luxury / Sex in a rosé daze (Daze) / All day, it's a real good thing". End ID)

this is very much what the start of aidays is about: sex so good you don't want to do anything else. can't imagine wanting to do anything else. getting so wrapped up in the euphoria of someone who just understands what you need like no one else does, that before you know what's happening you've already fallen so fast and hard you'll never recover.

summer love by carly rae jepsen

ohhhhhh when i say every carly rae jepsen song is about aidays.......every carly rae jepsen song is about aidays. and she is so right all the time.

(ID: "I was down for the first night / And now I'm down for a second try / When you touch me, I wanna fly / I'm so down for you all the time". End ID)

this song is so sexy and flirty and fun and that's exactly the energy i wanted to bring to this fic. it's light it's breezy it's so simple and casual except it's NOT!!!! but sokka and zuko don't know that yet. for right now in ch2 all they know is they can't get enough of each other. at this point in the fic, and going forward, they could eat each other whole and it would not be enough.

father by the front bottoms

ok ok. the front bottoms are so bad. but also i love them. and this song is so good. like it's awful it sounds terrible but it is so good. to me.

(ID: "I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat / And he is screaming and crying for help / And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him / Than it ever did protecting myself / And I believe that yeah, Dad, maybe no one is perfect / But I believe that you are pushing your luck". End ID)

it can't all be fun little sex songs. this verse was not necessarily an inspiration for the tragic backstory reveal in ch2 bc that was always coming, but i do think it fits well with what i'm trying to do with zuko's trauma in this fic. i think canon zuko should've had the opportunity to beat ozai up but maybe that's just me.

(ID: "But you look good tonight, girlfriend / Can I sleep in your bed? / And when I crawl out in the morning / Can I stay inside your head?". End ID)

this for me is about like. wanting to impact someone the same way they impact you. the anxiety around reciprocation. pretty much immediately post-ch2 zuko has his first oh moment (I Am Writing It. Calm Down.) where he realises that he might have some real feelings for Sokka, that this thing might not be as casual as it was supposed to be. and that's where this little bridge comes in. "can i stay inside your head?" in the sense of, will you still think about me when i'm not in front of you? will you think of me the same way i think of you? are you in this, are you with me, wherever we're going?

sin by tomberlin

shoutout to rena @dreamrena for putting me onto this one! it makes me want to eat dirt

(ID: "Boyfriends, what are boyfriends, what are boyfriends when I have you?". End ID)

i mean. this is the thesis statement for chapter 2. who needs a relationship with labels and commitment when whatever the fuck this is feels so much better? (spoiler alert, it feels better than any other relationship either of them have ever had bc they are soulmates.)

(ID: "And we never should've left that room / And we never should've said hello / 'Cause I miss you when you go". End ID)

this idea of wishing you never met someone bc the way you feel is So Much is touched on in chapter 6 when sokka and suki have their big feelings talk. at that point everything has gone to shit and sokka thinks he's never going to be happy again (he is stupid) and he's cursing the day he ever met zuko, because, yeah, what they had was fun, but was it worth this? was falling in love with zuko worth all the pain of not getting to keep him? did sokka ever have him in the first place? (he did. he does.)

[sagemoderocklee]

...and that's another year of writing done!

Happy New Year's, everyone! Can't believe we've gone through yet another year of a pandemic (despite what government's around the world tell us about it being over).

This year was a strange one. The later half of the year feels like such a haze for me, days bleeding together, much like they did in 2020. Why? Because, after two years of being as safe as possible, I caught Covid. And not only did I catch Covid in early May, I was one of the lucky ones to get Long Haul Covid, and with that I have spent the last half of 2022 on a medical leave.

It's been a difficult year for me. There are very few things about 2022 that went according to plan--between catching Covid and simply not having the money, my plans to move to Ireland at the end of this summer didn't happen, and while the plan is to postpone my move, to when is still to be decided. I have also let my sewing and portfolio building fall to the wayside, largely--again--because of my health.

However, there are some things to be happy about and this post is my chance to look back and celebrate my writing victories.

sagemoderocklee's 2022 Fic Wrap

Absolution: Part IV (WiP)

While the goal had been to end the year with another update, tragically it was not in the cards. My health being what it is and my focus being on completing other projects, and Absolution being the huge piece it is, I felt it made more sense not to try pushing out Part V. However, I am very happy I was able to start the year with an Absolution update as this fic is very much one of my faves. The fourth part of this fic was a bit of a challenge to write, especially in the middle, but I finally hit on the beats I really needed. A big complication with Absolution was that the remaining 6 chapters, which I had fully planned and plotted, needed tweaking... which is to say Absolution needed to be longer. So I had to move all the plotting I had from Part IV on and rebuild and entirely rewrite each chapter/scene-by-scene breakdown. I'm pretty solid at the moment with Parts V through VIII in terms of plotting, and now I think I can safely say this fic will be a total of 13 chapters (the last one being an epilogue), but that could change since I still have to finish all the restructuring. I know all the key beats and the end goal, but sorting out the getting from one point to the next is really the big issue. However, all that being said, I do want to start the new year with Absolution, so that will be my top priority for January!

Pomegranate Sun: Ch1 (WiP) Co-authoring with @ghoste-catte

The first chapter of this fic I started writing a couple years ago, sometime after I got the prologue from @ghoste-catte. And then, of course, I stopped and didn't touch it again for... ages. But with the Naruto-Run last December and @ghoste-catte wanting to have a special fic for the big milestone of 100 GaaLee fics, it was time to work on this baby again. It is absolutely no surprise that when I get to worldbuild I'm in my comfort zone, so even though it took a while, once I got into working on this (while sick with covid, no less) I was happy. And this is going to be such a fresh piece of worldbuilding since we're bringing in OCs from the far west of Wind Country!

Plus One (COMPLETE)

So, I signed up for a bingo challenge and ended up writing a slightly spicy one-shot. Certainly not the spiciest thing in the world, but I very much enjoy writing flirty!Gaara. I have a LOT of feelings about the way fandom and even the canon blank period treats him surrounding sex/sexuality, and it's really informed a lot of how I view and approach Gaara as a gay male character. This wasn't like a huge piece (though I have an even sexier sequel planned), but it was so much fun.

It Eats Your Heart: Ch2 (WiP)

Chapter 2 of IEYH took me about a year to write. I was struggling. It gave me writer's block. It made me wanna throw my computer. My roommate helped me workshop it a bit. And it still took me forever to finish it. Then finally--FINALLY--I hit on what was missing. This chapter was a fucking bitch, but gotdamn was it worth it. I'm so happy with how this turned out and I'm so looking forward to finishing this fic in the new year.

Pearl-Filled Lungs: II, III, IV, Epilogue (COMPLETE)

My beloved enemy. This fic sat for three years, untouched and miserable. I'd started chapter two... last year? The year before? I don't remember, and it languished. I think it was just the first scene--maybe just part of the first scene. But god it was a struggle. I signed up for the WiP BB last year, but dropped. Signed up again this year and... committed. Largely because of the artist who, though unable to complete art for this fic, was such a huge inspiration. The WIPs they sent me... I wish I could share them because they were stunning. When they were unable to continue, I really thought I'd give up, but once again @ghoste-catte inspired me to continue, thanks to their generous offer to make banners for my fic--and the banners are truly such a work of art! And someone... I got through this fic. I think my original vision comes through, despite how much I bitched and moaned during the process. I wanted to write a fairy tale, and I did. And honestly, I am happy with P-FL. It's not my most popular fic, by any means, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.

My Home is Your Home: Ch1 (WiP)

And here we have a fic that was meant to be a one-shot. I was gonna try and get this done in under 10.5k for an event challenge, but then I talked with my roommate and... they looked at me like 'bitch who the fuck do you think you are' and you know what, they were right. I was foolin myself. This fic wasn't a one-shot. I'd come up with an idea for something much bigger than a one-shot, and I'm glad I listened to them. So instead of an event challenge, I reworked everything and turned this into a fic for the @puregaalee Horror Fest, and I am sooooo excited that I did. Paranormal Romance isn't a genre I've dabbled in, and I'm stoked to try weaving the horror genre with RomCom elements. This fic not only ended up being a much bigger piece than I'd intended, but it also has a planned sequel! Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't add more WiPs to my docket than I subtract.

Blood on the Branches: Ch1 (WiP)

Talk about a fic that was pulled out of my ass at THEE last minute. For Horror Fest, I was struggling to come up with an idea. I knew what prompts I was vibin with, but damn I couldn't think of a single thing. And then one night, laying in bed I came up with an idea.... An entirely different idea from this because with only days left to finish, I scrapped everything I had (and by scrapped, I mean moved to a different document) and came up with something completely new! And so instead of straight horror, I leaned into what I'm good at and now I have a horror/adventure story! While the original concept for this fic is good, I am way more excited about this! Once again, taking my worldbuilding to new heights as we leave Suna and head to the south of Wind! I don't know exactly when I'll be able to get the next chapter out, and I really need to sit down and plot this in full, but I am so excited to write this story!

The Corn Maze House (COMPLETE)

Well, it was a bit of a slog towards the mid-point, but I got through it. I honestly worried I wouldn't, but in the end I'm really glad I didn't give up or give in to feeling negatively about the writing process for this piece. I'm not fully happy with it, but I am happy it's done. The premise for this fic, in my entirely unbiased opinion, is very good, even if I'm still not sure of the execution. I may end up going back over this fic in the future, but regardless I'm happy to have a completed horror fic under my belt, and also to not be adding another WiP to my roster. Definitely very light on the GaaLee, despite being an established relationship, but that was kind of how it had to be, so I'm sure this won't be like a crazy popular fic, necessarily. But I still think this was good practice with the horror genre.

Return to Sender: Ch1-11 (COMPLETE)

Talk about a fic I never expected. RtS was meant to be a simple, cute lil RomCom. A dash of miscommunication, a whole lot of comedy of errors, and just a smidge of drama... The ask prompt that started this definitely did not make any indication that I needed to write a 90k+ drama about homophobia in the shinobi world or about the mistakes you make when you're terrified of losing someone important to you. But I simply am the person I am, and I am the writer I am. This was the direction that felt right, and honestly, I'm so glad because I am so happy with how this story turned out and the reception this fic has received is truly astronomical. I dove into it following completing chapter 1 of PomSun and in between working on P-FL because P-FL was the struggle it was. RtS gave me a much needed break and the first three and a half chapters were such a breath of fresh air. When I say those first three chapters were a breeze to write, I mean I think it took me less than a week to write them. This was (sort of) the first time in over a decade I've had a fully completed multi-chapter fic that I can post on a schedule, and GOD it felt so good to just post chapters weekly. RtS Sundays were the highlight of my week, and even though towards the end there were a lot of complications, it was truly such a joy and has made me want to work harder to get fics done before posting. Also! Not only did I have a ball writing this fic, but I also had a lot of fun making the images that I included in it and the soundtrack to go with it. While some of the images are... less exciting than others, this fic just felt like the perfect opportunity to do some mixed media stuff, and I do really enjoy making soundtracks for fics. I have to say, though I love so many of my fics, RtS will now have a very special place in my heart. The reception, surpassing 1million with it, and just the way it all fell into place... I am truly so filled with joy by how this fic went.

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Total WiPs at the start of 2022: 16 Total completed works: 4 Total new works: 5 Total updates: 21 Total new words: 186,296 Total words (Ao3): 1,011,369 (-2,521 PomSun = 1,008,848) Total WiPs at the end of 2022: 17

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2022 Resolutions

The difference between this year's writing and last year's is kinda wild ngl. All that time on medical leave and not sewing really gave me a lot of time to write, (though I do wish I'd been healthy enough to sew more). Looking back at my writing resolutions from the start of the year to now, I can definitely say I'm proud of what I've accomplished, even if it seems like I didn't reach that many resolutions. The two biggest resolutions (1million words and finishing P-FL) were reached, and honestly hitting those two goals was the greatest accomplishment of the year.

So, while most of what I'd had planned for this year was updating fics from last year's Naruto-Run to 1K which didn't happen, I still think this year was a success!

Reach 1million words--168,358 words to go!✅So, the math I did at the end of last year for how many words I needed was actually wrong. I needed closer to 178k, but despite this minor math mishap, I not only reached 1 million words, I surpassed it! I have been trying to hit this overall word count for the past three or so years, and I am utterly shocked, amazed, and proud of myself for making it happen this year! Admittedly, I think this goal was reached because I ended up getting long covid and have spent June through the end of the year out of work and home. Still, this is by no means a small feat, especially given the number of words I needed to reach this year while also being disabled by covid. Long haul is no joke and the brain fog--ohhhh lemme tell you! that shit got me so fucked up, so managing to power through and find joy in writing in spite of that struggle was really important. Writing was one of the few real joys I had in my days these past months, and I could not be more thrilled to finally say I've surpassed 1 million words. Truly, I owe most of that to RtS, the most unexpected fic of 2022.

Write the sequel to Flyweight Love❌Not Reached. Part of me was sure I'd get this done at the end of the year, following Horror Fest, but RtS became priority #1 instead, so HB3 will be on the docket for next year!

Finish IEYH❌Not Reached. While I didn't reach this goal, I did manage to update this fic, finally. Chapter two was a difficult journey and actually caused a lot of writer's block for me between the end of last year-early this year, so while I didn't finish this fic I did still make progress and for that I am very happy. My hope is to accomplish this goal in the new year now!

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs✅REACHED! This is a pretty big one because it's been hanging over me for... long time. Three years, in fact. But I signed up for the WiP Big Bang and managed to actually get all four chapters written, edited, and published! It always feels like such a relief to be able to cross something completely off my list, but especially something that's been weighing on me the way P-FL was. In many ways, I wasn't happy with the journey, but I am happy with the end of it. I think P-FL is a lot better than I give it credit for, so I am really proud of it and proud that I got this finished.

Finish The Passing of Things❌Not Reached. I was actually really hoping to get this done, so I'm going to make this a goal for next year!

Update Absolution (Ch 4-6)✅❌❌Partially fulfilled. While I did not get three updates in for Absolution, I still got one so that's a partial win for me!

Update TAoL (Ch12)❌Not Reached. Sadly, this update was not in the cards for me this year, which is truly a tragedy for me because it's been two years since the last time I updated. But unfortunately, this next chapter has a lot of issues that need fixing, so getting through has not been easy. However, it is a top priority in the new year!

Update TBotDatP aka the Ballad❌Not Reached. Another fic I was hoping to update, but alas, not this year. But the first chapter is very much underway, so with any luck, I'll be getting a Ballad update out in short order!

Update WNNBYT aka the Hanahaki fic❌Not Reached. While this is a fic I'm excited to work on, it has lost priority in favor of other fics. Maybe next year, but I don't want to make it a resolution since I have fics I'd rather focus on over this.

Update Pomegranate Sun (Ch1)✅ Reached! Amazingly, I was able to get chapter one of this fic out, though it did take a while. However, I'm very proud of how that first chapter turned out and excited to continue this fic with @ghoste-catte in the new year!

Update 13S❌Not Reached. I did get a good chunk of the next update for this worked on, but tragically the amount of worldbuilding needed for this chapter put a wrench in my plans to move forward. However, the worldbuilding has been done in large part, so I am looking forward to getting this fic updated next year!

Edit Alliance❌Not reached. In general, Allied Nations has not been on my mind or at the top of my list. I think, more than likely it won't be until I get TAoL finished, as that's a similarly huge project, even as a stand alone story.

Update Honor Bound❌Not reached. Similar to the above. And while I do have the first three chapters written, I don't want to dive into posting any more chapters of this fic until I've edited Alliance and made the changes to it I know are needed.

Resolutions Reached✅: 3.5 Resolutions Not Reached❌: 9.5

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2023 Resolutions

With 2022 at an end and a lot more writing done than I expected, I'm hoping to carry that energy into 2023, regardless of other things. I do hope to move to Ireland and get back into sewing regularly, but as my health has changed much of my life, I'm also anticipating more time at home as I shift into working from home. So with that, I hope I also find more time and energy to focus on writing.

This is a lot, and I do not expect to get all of this done, but the goal is to get as much of it done as I can. I have a lot of motivation, so here's to a successful writing year in 2023!

Complete IEYH

Complete Absolution

Complete MHiYH

Complete TPoT

Update 13S (3-6)

Update TAoL (12-15)

Update PomSun (Ch3)

Update TBotDatP aka The Ballad (Ch-4)

Update TEA (Ch1)

Update TCoS (Ch1)

Update BotB (Ch2)

Publish the sequel to Flyweight Love, HB3

Publish The Beautiful Beast of Cāngdì (Ch1)

Publish A Cat's Guide to Finding Love

Complete at least three more MFBingo squares

[surely-galena]

Notes on Main Story 6.1

Excluding 6-01 and 6-15 because I didn't really have anything to say there

6-03

Neil left a month after Artem joined the NXX, which he says was Oct 2029

And oh I've only just realized this, but the dub I listen to has the voice actors pronounce NXX as "N-two-X" when I've been saying each letter (like DNA). I'm... probably still going to continue saying it as NXX though

At that point, he tells MC it was only Neil, Vyn, and Giann -- so we can assume the order of member accumulation goes Vyn -> Artem -> Marius -> MC -> Luke

Whoa Neil and Giann disappeared within two weeks of each other? Ouch

Oooh MC did know Neil 'personally' in the sense that she was in one of his classes! Nice to have that confirmed

Okay okay also I knew that Artem's father was a judge because spoilers but the highest title? *immediately adds Artem to the list of practically Stellis royalty*

Huh, Artem's parents' English names are Kimberly and Bryan? Okay, cool

"if we get into anything dangerous during the investigation," artem says. ha. foreshadowing (and then MC saying his identity makes him a target ohhh)

But also it kinda makes you think, if Artem hadn't been brought up as this kind, respectful person, he might have ended up as someone who'd have no issues using their parents' names to get what they want

North Stellis is a no-go area. Got it.

6-05, 6-07

MC getting mad over Jovi trying to guilt trip Artem (even if she didn't actually say anything due to the current situation) is so sweet

Also MC wanting to laugh over the idea of Baldr's involvement is so funny to me

6-09

Oh? cutting to Marius for a quick second, cool

Nooo not MC forgetting to eat again!! I love that she's dedicated to her work, but she needs to take care of herself or we'll get SR 'In Sickness or in Health: the Sequel'

MC: we need to do this now! and this! and this!! It's very urgent!!

Artem: no.

MC: ???

Artem: we need to eat 🤨

"regarding nutrition intake, you currently have a reputation of 0" OOF

Artem telling MC to prioritize self-care? I can respect that

Also him telling MC he'll take care of her work meals is tugging at a found family fic idea for me... I'll just throw that into the ToT fic google drive folder

6-11, 6-13

Artem? With Velcro sneakers? GOOD CHARACTER AMMUNITION, I'll find a way to sneak that into a Marius insult somehow (also Sam if you're reading this, I see what you mean by your light up shoes post and I nod enthusiastically in agreement)

Note for future reference: Artem's books consist of law, philosophy, filmography, sci-fi, and foreign books (not too sure what the latter means but he speaks German I think so they're probably just books in another language)

The Artem Swimming Thing (slightly later addition because I forgot I had thoughts on this) (is this 6-15? maybe I do have thoughts on 6-15 after all)

3 minutes 42 seconds? THAT'S VERY SPECIFIC FOR *cough* PLOT PURPOSES

Artem swimming a lot actually might explain the broad shoulders! I swam a lot when I was younger -- less so now because covid -- but you can tell because my shoulders broadened as I grew up (maybe possibly due to genetics but swimming was at least a partial factor as well). So that's interesting!

Other thoughts

Chapter 6 has a very clear focus on Artem. Nothing wrong with that, but it's interesting to me because the story so far has taken the time to make sure MC has at least one case with each boy so far (partially to introduce the reader to each of their characters)

We have ch1: Luke, ch2: Vyn, ch3: Artem, ch4: Marius, and ch5: Luke again. This led me to believe that it was a cycle and character focus would go in that order, but this chapter proves that is not true at all

Which means the character cycle is broken (perhaps slightly ironic, considering the chapter title is 'A Vicious Cycle')

I have my own theories as to which of the remaining two (Marius and Vyn; the order of the cycle may be broken but for equality reasons the story can't favor one character too much -- and thus all four must be covered before the cycle restarts) ch 7 and ch 8 will be focused on, but that's spoiler territory so nothing to say there

Also here is my Zak ToT bingo card so far (link to the plain template)

Overall 6.1 was fun! Looking forward to 6.2 in two weeks :D