#I'd be like bitch you're delusional

[nostalgic-shamefest]

I feel like if I told 2014 me about today she'd laugh her ass off and call the psych ward

[astonmartinii]

fresh out the slammer [guilty as sin part five] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x sainz!reader

no court cases, no ferrari PR jail... i'm sure nothing will happen, right?

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,289,405 others

tagged: olliebearman, francocolapinto & pepemarti

f1: THERE IT IS!!! The 2025 grid is set with Ollie Bearman at Haas, Franco Colapinto at Williams and Pepe Marti at Sauber.

view all comments

user317: HOLY SHIT

user318: i hate to celebrate someone losing their job in this economy but FUCK THAT MAN WOO HOO WELCOME TO UNEMPLOYMENT CARLOS SAINZ

olliebearman: can't wait to get started (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user319: when are you going to recruit pepe and kimi to the leclerc family agenda

pepemarti: y/n has been my celeb crush since i was like 13 (sorry charles) so trust me idc about the spanish guy

olliebearman: he fully doesn't play about y/n, he even tries to read poetry (key word being tries)

pepemarti: you can shame me all you like but i think y/n would appreciate the effort

yourusername: you would be correct !

pepemarti: OMG ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

charles_leclerc: i'll take you in if you promise you're over your crush on y/n, it would be very inappropriate

pepemarti: I AM I SWEAR

user320: i know carlos gotta be sick seeing the spanish youngster freak out more about his sister

yourusername: i fear he has bigger fish to fry right now

user321: @carlossainz55 BOO! did i scare you? i'm a job application

user322: being on the internet as a sainz fan gotta be torture at this point

user323: former delusional carlando fan here! he brought this upon himself lol

maxverstappen1: evil may be conquered but these three and kimi look like prime candidates to join the united front of hating

yourusername: we gotta get them started while they're young

charles_leclerc: i fear we don't have enough room in the house for all these kids

francocolapinto: do we really need the aussie?

oscarpiastri: i was here before you ???

yourusername: we can get bunkbeds?

olliebearman: does leo really need him own room

charles_leclerc: WATCH THAT TONE

kimiantonelli: i'm quite small if that helps

yourusername: looks like we have a new favourite

pepemarti: ????????

user324: see? carlos loses his job and suddenly all is good in f1 again... coincidence? i think not.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,945,209 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, olliebearman & kimiantonelli

yourusername: and the pieces all fall into place ...

view all comments

user326: this is a level of motherism we have yet to see in f1

user327: and mother in a literal sense these ones take her up to like five grid kids and one dog

maxverstappen1: don't erase her cat godson and goddaughter

yourusername: leo is almost fully cat trained ( ≧ᗜ≦)

albonpets: do not even think of coming for our brand

yourusername: which one am i talking to?

albonpets: HORSEY

yourusername: ... okay then

charles_leclerc: seriously?

yourusername: i'm not going to fight a (my favourite) albon cat charles, i may have the sainz last name but i'm NOT carlos

charles_leclerc: it'll be leclerc before you know it

yourusername: (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)

user328: no because at this point i can fully picture carlos having an argument with a cat

albonpets: we're down to tussle for y/n

user329: i'm dying, carlos lost so bad ALBON PETS ARE SHADING HIM

user330: guys are we ready for monza tho? y/n and charles fully back, the united front of hating back, italy don't play about charles... carlos girl i'd sit this one out it doesn't even matter that you're driving the red car

maxverstappen1: at least it won't be me being booed for once

carlossainz55: i'm not a bitch. if people want to boo me they'll only expose themselves as sheep

oscarpiastri: BAAAA

olliebearman: BAAAA

francocolapinto: BAAAA

kimiantonelli: BAAAA

pepemarti: BAAAA

charles_leclerc: parenthood is so precious

carlossainz55: you think i care that these little runts like you guys? they'll be out the sport faster than your other little pet american

logansargeant: at least i'm pretty

francocolapinto: sorry i can't hear you over my williams seat - you really thought that was gonna be yours huh 🤔

user331: obsessed with how carlos has just resorted to name calling because his only 'ammunition' against y/n is that she always wanted to marry charles and didn't want to work

user332: if that's illegal LOCK ME UP BABY

yourusername: they nearly did 😭

user332: oh yeah my bad g

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 4,398,400 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: fresh out the slammer

view all comments

user333: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

francocolapinto: VAMOSSSSSS

user334: this was actually insanely poetic, ferrari i'm still angry at you but thank you for this genius strategy

user335: today you are excused, tomorrow we go back to hating

user336: the north remembers

yourusername: never in doubt starboy - i love you, you deserve this so much

charles_leclerc: i love you more, this win is for you after everything we've been through

yourusername: you're too sweet - it's all you baby and the win is all yours, my prize is being. yours

charles_leclerc: so glad we could have all of our REAL family around us today

yourusername: i love you all ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

oscarpiastri: i guess if there's anyone to lose to here, it would be my grid dad

francocolapinto: if you don't want the P2 i'll gladly take it off of your hands

yourusername: okay babies let's calm down and celebrate that we ALL scored points today

olliebearman: thanks mum and dad

pepemarti: did you guys see my F2 podium (๑>◡<๑)?

charles_leclerc: we did!

yourusername: well done pepe :3

pepemarti: hehehehehehheheheheehehehe

maxverstappen1: oh boy got out of ferrari jail and now we're ALL being subjected to the conjugal visits

charles_leclerc: stay outta my business

maxverstappen1: BROTHER 4 MILLION PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS

yourusername: and four million people know my man is off limits

yourusername: @carlossainz55 stop paying instagram models to flirt with my man

charles_leclerc: @carlossainz55 what money are you using for this i had to close my DMs

user337: HE'S PAYING INSTAGRAM MODELS TO TRY AND FLIRT WITH CHARLES THE VERY GUY WHO HAD HIS CHILDHOOD RIVAL DELIVER LOVE LETTERS WHEN HIS PHONE WAS TAKEN ???

oscarpiastri: we never said carlos was smart

f1tea

liked by user339, user340 and 11,943 others

f1tea: the ramifications of the sainz civil war may be a lot worse than previously feared. carlos sainz does not have a seat for the 2025 f1 season and doesn't look like he'll be chosen for a reserve role either with bridges with red bull firmly burnt. however, one of the biggest effects of this 'war' has been on those who still choose to associate with carlos. it's been reported that mclaren have had to turn down a number of sponsors after they asked that it is only run on oscar's car and that lando norris is not seen with the brand. do you think we'll see lando jump ship from carlos or will mclaren become a safehaven for sainz?

view all comments

user341: mclaren? a safe haven for carlos sainz? the same mclaren that houses the first child of y/n and charles? i'd like to see them try

user342: finally the carlando PR spin is dead

user343: they way they both thought that was their ultimate get out of jail free card and now it's like incriminating

user344: isn't this all getting a little petty now? like y/n and charles are together and carlos doesn't have a seat? what's the point of keeping all of this drama going?

user345: tbf this 'drama' was never going away the moment they exposed themselves for trying to use their daughter/sister as bait to further carlos' career

user346: if that wasn't downright criminal then unlawfully suing your daughter/sister for everything she rightfully earnt WAS

user347: yeah just because 55 fans and the sainzs themselves want to bury that loss doesn't mean it's not like one of the first things that come up when. you google carlos - of course sponsors are not gonna want ANYTHING to do with that

user348: poor lando getting caught in the petty crossfire

user349: i mean he was shit slinging at y/n after austria and that girl has levels of voodoo only taylor swift can better

user350: he's also a grown man who has seen this all go down behind the scenes so he's made his bed and has to lie in it

user351: the way the sponsors are just piling up for charles as well karma really is doing a number right now

user352: his charm is so universal that oscar is becoming one of the most marketable drivers as well

user353: no but as someone who was on the ground at monza, it's BAD like people were wearing their sainz merch with the 55 or spanish flag covered up

user354: oh he got them acting like middle aged football fans it's BAD

user355: at least they haven't started burning stuff yet

user356: if he takes out charles i fear it won't take long

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,452,097 others

yourusername: my new poetry and letter collection, the alchemy, is out today and you guys already made it a new york times bestseller. my heart is so full! the last couple months made me feel like i would never get to love so thank you for showing me that everything is possible x

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user357: ma'am i am in love with you

user358: get in line buddy

charles_leclerc: i will run all of you over

maxverstappen1: thank you for the dedication, it was a traumatic time for us all

yourusername: you simply could've not read my private letters to my lover?

maxverstappen1: and where's the fun in that?

yourusername: a pigeon wouldn't have done this to me...

maxverstappen1: yeah well a pigeon also hasn't been your best friend for years and doesn't have a couch and cats to comfort you

yourusername: you make a good point

user359: she's really out here making me believe in love

charles_leclerc: the most talented woman in the world, i'm blessed to be on the receiving end of such words

yourusername: writing is so much easier with a muse like you

charles_leclerc: you're making me blush

user360: sure if my boyfriend was a greek god i'd also write good poetry

charles_leclerc: no you couldn't, not like her

yourusername: (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

lewishamilton: congratulations y/n, what an achievement! however, i do think the real achievement here is getting this grid to read a book

georgerussell63: excuse me?

alexalbon: ... you got me but i wanted the tea ☕️

charles_leclerc: APPRECIATE THE POETRY PEOPLE

alexalbon: funny how the letters were back and forth... but none of yours made it to the book

yourusername: ALEX :(

charles_leclerc: i didn't want my sad ramblings to drag down her shine - i thought you would get that seeing how bad you are at golf compared to lily

lilymunhe: oop.

user361: where are the children

yourusername: eating my cake :(

maxverstappen1: they're actually being really cute and are all sat in a circle reading it (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

charles_leclerc: gotta make sure they can read none of us finished school

f1

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 2,309,450 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & carlossainz55

f1: LAST LAP SHUNT! Carlos Sainz takes Max Verstappen out in baku and the two did not mince their words on the radio

view all comments

user363: not to be dramatic but that's lowkey attempted murder

user364: at this point carlos is trying to ACTUALLY recreate that list of crimes meme

user365: let's get his ass in JAIL then

oscarpiastri: if i speak i'm in big trouble

carlossainz55: speak it big man - if you wanna act like a big guy back it up

oscarpiastri: okay you are a narcissistic misogynist who can't bear being told no. you are a talented man but without your name you would be nowhere but you lack the selfawareness to be grateful for where you are which is why you don't have a job. you are reckless and dangerous and the very few friends you have will drop you when you no longer serve a purpose in f1

user366: oh shit babe came out swinging

oscarpiastri: i'm hearing a lot of CRICKETS?

oscarpiastri: exactly - pussy.

user367: thank you franco colapinto for bringing back drivers with zero media training

user368: once again i am asking for proximity chat in f1

user369: the sweet souls on twitter would NOT be able to handle it

yourusername: bro tried to assassinate my best friend but i'm the problem

carlossainz55: stop being so dramatic, if anyone was to purposely hurt someone it would be max - look where he came from

yourusername: first of all FUCK YOU

yourusername: second of all, max is stronger than you ever will be, how dare you try and use his childhood against him when you know he's nothing but a gentle soul

yourusername: thirdly, by this logic the reason i'm such a 'gold-digging back-stabbing whore' is because of YOU GUYS

user370: i am absolutely losing it at the fact that carlos is furiously typing these at the fia HQ

user371: i know his PR officer is TIRED

francocolapinto: sorry our uncle got sniped but we did also get points @olliebearman

olliebearman: JUST TO SAY WE WENT TO SEE MAX AND HE IS OKAY BUT YES THANK YOU FOR THE POINTS

yourusername: guys lets keep the inside thoughts inside

francocolapinto: so you're not proud of us (╹ -╹)?

yourusername: I AM, I AM, WE ARE (charles is on the podium he'll tell you later)

francocolapinto: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

olliebearman: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,387,300 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i lived bitch

view all comments

user372: they're gonna have to do a little more than that to take down the united front of hating

user373: 50g can't stop the grind for these dudes

maxverstappen1: i would call that man a bitch with my last breath

user374: them celebrating the end of carlos' career by doing a mukbang is killing me

user375: when the funeral food be good as fuck you be forgetting who died

carlossainz55: you guys really are so pathetic

maxverstappen1: i didn't try to pimp out my sister, make her homeless then sue her but that might just me be

maxverstappen1: also the data will prove what we all know btw

carlossainz55: that you're reckless just like your daddy?

maxverstappen1: at least i can admit my dad is an asshole and i distanced myself, your dad is just as much a bitch but you gotta parade him around because no one else can bear being around you

carlossainz55: the only bad thing my dad ever did in his life is help bring the spawn of satan into the world

maxverstappen1: whatever, enjoy your race ban bozo

user376: is max suggesting ... it was on purpose

user377: if it was carlos might just be as dumb as they all say because fool was about to get a podium

yourusername: THEY CAN'T GET RID OF US BITCH

maxverstappen1: you're a sick motherfucker if you're enjoying this sainz disasterclass well i only just got out of the medical centre 🤧🤧🤧

charles_leclerc: no but deadass we're sorry you got taken out

maxverstappen1: someone had to be the mercutio to you people's romeo and juliet

maxverstappen1: PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELVES AFTER I'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR YOU

yourusername: we can't leave you with all these kids

charles_leclerc: yeah that's a lot of kids to inherit

user378: christian horner i hate you but you gotta get on your zoom

oscarpiastri: where's my congratulations 🤨

maxverstappen1: @yourusername @charles_leclerc yeah you can keep your kids

charles_leclerc: we're proud of you oscar (don't beat me again)

yourusername: well done oscar (your verbal takedown was particularly impressive as well)

oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭

fin

note: lol i'm back. i was busy with work and then in hospital. but we all love guilty as sin? will get to tagging soon one sec

[lunavrse]

WHAT YOU HEARD pt 2

LANDO NORRIS

summary ★ : streets are saying yn finally broke up with her loser boyfriend and guess who couldn't be happier? if you guessed lando, you'd be wrong, it's actually her (but lando's a really close second).

category ★ : smau.

notes ★ : as always times and dates are irrelevant and spelling mistakes are intentional. longer than the last part but worse 🫶. and when i use those harry styles and taylor russell pictures again, mind your business🤫 poll at the end!!!

pt 1

tagged: visavni

Liked by landonorris, monaspencer, zendaya and 1 154 748 others

yn_ln back to your regularly scheduled content of my face 🤗 did a fun little shoot with with a friend

View all 4 755 comments

user ugh face cardddd

user it's giving retro realness

user ur face card rlly is sum serious

visavni this was sm fun!

yn_ln thank u for always delivering

user always something amazing when y'all collab

user 1st slide is giving scream for some reason

user real "please don't kill me Mr Ghostface, I want to be in the sequel" vibes

user serving 70s editorial

user Already added to my Pinterest board 💞

user gagged, died, dead

user And I eat it up everytime.

landonorris real

user ofc instagram user landonorris on a yn_ln post

user not even f1 driver💀

user seeing different concepts from you is my absolute fav thing ngl

landonorris you look leng.

user anyone else side eye at this comment?

user honestly? not really, i'm sure he's said worse things

user legs are legging...

user what does this even mean

user the girls that get it, get it💋

user gah dam why are you legs so long🤤

user she's so overrated

user now why are you manspreading 🤨 do you want people to sit in ur lap???

user me wondering if that seats taken

monaspencer you've done it again! it's giving everything it's supposed to give🔥

yn_ln tysm ml🫶🏾

landonorris so she gets a reply but not me🫤

yn_ln now what was i supposed to say?

landonorris thank you?

yn_ln you're welcome.

landonorris oh that's no- ykw, you're right, i should be grateful

user damn right

user if he's not like this i don't want him

user He really said when a bad bitch tells me to shut up, I do it.

user i just know that ezra is somewhere sick to his stomach

user personally, I'd never recover

zendaya your shoots are always so good

yn_ln tysm queen. means a lot coming from you<3

user girl you do damage to me🥴

user amazing shoot 😍

yourfriend7 slenderman proportions🤩

yn_ln and if i kill myself, what then?

yourfriend7 😘

yn_ln spawning in your room🔜

yourfriend7 not beating the allegations pookie

user 😭😭😭

user love seeing your face pop up when i open insta

user the only reason people care about you is bc of ezra

user you're joking...

user you're delusional just like ur fav

user and yet here you are, on her page

tagged: landonorris, yn_ln

motormouth Lando and Y/n spotted out and about via friends and fans. New wag or just friends hanging out? Let us know what you think!

Liked by user, user, user and others

View all 854 comments

user tagging them is so messy.

user well it is a gossip page

user but still... the audacity

user man like lando norris yeah

user friends can't hang out?

user The way that one picture looks really romantic until you realise Mona's cropped out

user Ezra was right to dump her😒 She never deserved him and she's mid anyway. Never did and never will get the hype.

user stacy why aren't you watching your kids instead of commenting on things that don't concern you? user yeah stacy, why aren't you being a mom to your kids? user stacy is a man who, instead of paying attention to the kids he only gets to see certain times, is out here dick riding someone who doesn't know he exists. user damn, someone named a baby boy stacy? user Well, my mom wanted to be Stacy's Mom but only decided on having one kid, and unluckily for me, I was that kid user born in 2003, named stacy and has kidS (multiple!), yeah, no wonder he's on a gossip page instead of watching those kids.

user he really wasted no time

user i hope he knows he's probably a rebound

user the way y'all purposely hid the fact that mona was also there in the 3rd slide 😐

user this the type of timing i need to be on

user i just know that one twitter user is laughing rn

user she's just using him😕

user he's so weird for this, like she just recently got out of her relationship and now this??

user love the fact that they get to hang out more

user It's still too soon since her last relationship, so I'm thinking they're only friends.

user she probably broke up with ezra just to be with lando 🤢

user did she or Ezra tell you that? no? yeah, shut up

user and who would blame her? NO ONE

user mona erasure, i will not stand for this!

user the way he's looking at her😵

user fellas is it weird to hang out with your friends?

user only if your friends are the opposite sex, it seems

user they're probably laughing at this (if they even see it)

user i just know lando is giggling

user fr, like dating rumours with her?

user mans is kicking his feet

ezragallagher has uploaded to their story.

user: what you over here being messy for ???

user: bro move on!!!

user: i support you, toxic king🙌

user: ezra, baby, you can do better

sashabardot: really ezra? what the actual fuck is wrong with you

user: bros going through it

user: this is kinda pathetic don't you think?

user: someone's paying attention to their ex

user: babes this isn't your cf

user: don't you have work to focus on?

user: the way this would make me get back with you

user: ☕☕☕

user: this feels targeted

user if only i had half the confidence and audacity that you did🙂‍↔️

user: this is an... interesting song choice

user: see, me personally, i would never show my face on the internet but you do you💪

user: better as in you?

user: hope you guys get back together 🤞

user: God, I see how you've given some people the courage of lions😂

user: might as well have tagged her

user: just how i like my men... toxic and pettty 😍 *pretty but petty works just as well

user:

yn_ln has added to their story.

user: uhhhhh

user: is this what i think it is?

user: oh!

user: please tell me this is in response to ezra

user: beabadoobee mention!!!

user: I love this song.

user: the way fucking batman wouldn't be able to get this out of me

user: this is wild

user: stop being so cryptic! is this about ezra or not

monaspencer: messy asf😭

yn_ln: he started it, so idgaf also, it could've been worse

monaspencer: true, you could've posted to still your best

yn_ln: lmaooo, can you imagine💀💀

user: taste>>>

user: have you ever thought that maybe you were doing something wrong if he cheated on you?

user: oh no

yourfriend: do you ever wonder...

yn_ln: YOU'RE FUCKING SICK😭😭😭

user: You know what you're implying w this right?

user: publicizing the fact that you've been cheated on is insane

user: ezra fucking gallagher, count your days.

user: ok i alr know this is about ezra but who is the girl???

user: are you not embarrassed?

user: 🤨

user: ik you guys dated and everything but he wouldn't cheat🙄 you're just making up lies to slander him

tagged: lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and 3 others.

Liked by lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and others

monaspencer spent some time with some of my favourite people... and lando

View all 1 787 comments

user you and luka are so 🥺

lukacyr that's my baby!!!

monaspencer 🩷🩷🩷

user dare i say... couple's trip???

yn_ln hot girl alert!!!

monaspencer love youuu

user lando catching strays?

lukacyr so gorgeous, im so lucky🩵

monaspencer i love you pretty boy🩷

user wish i was that cat

landonorris and lando? damn i thought we were besties😔

lukacyr we all know she loves you

monaspencer 🤥

landonorris thanks luka, knew i could count on you for the truth❗

user wait, whose cat is that?

user love how they're all just living their best lives.

user oof uno w yn and luka? I just know there was lots of yelling

user them making up their own rules and frustrating those of us who play the game properly 😭

lukacyr sorry you guys are boring 😔

user ughhhh miss spencer you are looking teww damn foineee 🤤

user sprinted to this post when i got the notification

user mona + yn = the prettiest friends. ughhh, love them

user you and Luka make me feel so single and im in a relationship!!!

user that's -

user just smile and wave

user game night is back baby!!!

user adding the song to my playlist immediately

user slayyy

lilymhe can't wait for the next dinner!

monaspencer you and alex are hosting nexts babes

yn_ln i have a meeting that night

landonorris me too

lilymhe alex will be cooking

yn_ln i will be in attendance

lilymhe hey! i'm not that bad

lukacyr sureeee

alex_albon you are not talking, mr i once set fire to water

user how tf

user i love tht Luka buys her flowers whenever he can

user i have so many questions

user do you and Luka want a third?

user 🔥🔥🔥

user your nails in the first slide is everything to me

user not mona and yn having matching rings,,, i love them😭😭

user very on brand for them

user they all look so cool, I wish i was apart of their friend group

user real, they all look like so much fun

user TV girl>>>

user face beat is so FAB imo

user wait what's happening to me... 🧍‍♂️🚶‍♂️🧎‍♂️🐈🐾

user the dress from the last slide is EVERYTHING

Liked by monaspencer, landonorris, lilymhe and others

yn_ln 1st slide is me after thirdwheeling my (girl)friend and her boyfriend 😴 and the last slide is literally them, I'm sick😞

View all 1 853 comments

user girlll

user this said so much and nothing at all

user how can someone be so cute and hot at the same time???

monaspencer ik you're not talking lol

user what does this meannn

lilymhe i would never treat you like that bbg

landonorris don't you have a boyfriend? matter of fact ﹫alex_albon come get your girl

lilymhe snitch😒

alex_albon lily???

maxfewtrell dinner was great, sending mine and p's thanks again

yn_ln tell her she needs to join us for game night next time and you're invited too ig

maxfewtrell im starting to think you like my girlfriend more than me

yn_ln i do!

maxfewtrell fairs, i like her more than you

user last slide unlocked a memory

lukacyr and proud of it

lukacyr you're just mad she likes me more

yn_ln thats so funny considering she's in my bed rn

landonorris should've been me

user I jus know Lando took that 5th photo

user and you know this how...

user idrk but you can always tell when he's the one taking her pictures bc something about it just makes her look.. especially stunning ya know? like you can tell someone who's in love w her took the pic

user you're actually so right

landonorris a whole slide of just me? yeahhh you want me so bad

user i aspire to be this type of delusional

yn_ln oh absolutely

landonorris so glad you're admitting it to the world😌

user i cannae tell if this is sarcasm or not

user it's ok, neither can lando

user in the words of one troye sivan, "face card, no cash, no credit"

user when he sang "look, look at you", he meant her

user and when he sang " baby, I'm first in place" he was singing about Lando

user swear i saw you guys at that restaurant but was too nervous to make sure

user i would have said hello ngl

user i didnt want to disturb and like i said, i was so nervous.

user have i mentioned that i love everything that is happening here, bc i do

user genuinely thought the 2nd slide was y'all eating sushi and was amazed that you got lando to eat it

user same! but i didn't even question it and just scrolled

user would honestly be flattered if i was compared to arnaz and breanna, they were such a cute couple

user true but i still can't get over the fact that her dad was called Flex lmao

user eye cant get over the shows theme song, like i still think it's good

user not to mention Breanna was in her fashion bag, girlie was serving LOOKS.

user Check out my profile for art of your favourite artist's favourite artist!

user omg that's crazy haha, i have 10 lambo's btw, like i am super rich and you'd never be tired around me bc i'd make sure you get 10 hours of sleep (2 extra hours bc you deserve it, must be exhausting being so gorgeous)

landonorris this person literally set fire to my house and is stealing from their job. please report them so i can have some peace of mind🙏🙏

user YOOO, this is NOT TRUE, NOBODY REPORT ME FSTHSNTH

user idk man, why would Lando lie :/

landonorris exactly, for what reason?

user ik this is a lie but imma do it anyway lmao

landonorris why would i lie?

user bffr.

user: i know we're all focused on yn's beauty(and rightfully so) but can we take a moment to appreciate that picture of lando???

user: like hello, he looks so hot

user 💖

user LIVING it up

landonorris: you ever see someone so beautiful you start barking violently? cause thats me rn

landonorris: got me acting unwise❗

yn_ln: please calm down you freak

landonorris: mmm call me a freak again😩

user: what the

user: he's so real for this

user: jesus h christ

user: think i've had enough of instagram today, peace out✌

landonorris has added to their story.

user: mona's miss steal your girl well not really your girl🤣

landonorris: blocked

user: i want someone to look at me like that

user the art in the background is so pretty

user: damn, you're never making it to relationship status

user: she's wearing orange... interesting...

user: art and art/two masterpieces in one photo

user: guess i need to ask Mona and Yn if they want a third instead

user: i'd say deserved 🤷

monaspencer: you're both such liars

user: waitt,, the fits are eatinggg

user: they literally look like they're in love

user: women *sighs dreamily*

yn_ln: damn, i look good wait when did you take this picture

landonorris: yeah you do. orange is really your colour, you should wear it more often

monaspencer has added to their story.

user: not them getting "this you"-d💀

user: they are never beating the dating allegations

user: exposed in a single photo

user: you're an absolute legend for this

user: this just in, yn ln is a LIAR!!

user: i don't know why you're friends with her🙄

yn_ln: you make my ass itch

monaspencer: funny, i was thinking the same thing about you

yn_ln: why do you do this to me?

monaspencer: suffer x

user: my otp!!!

user: ugh, what a eyesore(i'm violently jealous)

user: They look so good together, they should just date already smh.

user: now it definitely seems like y'all went on a couple's trip👀

landonorris: send me this🙏🏻

whatyouhe4rd has posted a new article, based on your likes, this may interest you. check it out?

landonorris has uploaded a story.

user replied to your story: you're jokinggg, this is a joke

user replied to your story: you didn't actually post this, im clearly just seeing things im just gonna pretend that it didn't happen since you deleted it

user replied to your story: When I tell you I burst out laughing seeing this, I'm not lying.

maxfewtrell replied to your Close Friends story : you did not delete the 1st one just to post it on your CF

landonorris: it was an accident?

maxfewtrell: an accident that's going to end up on hundred's of gossip sites

landonorris: rachel is going to kill me, isnt she?

maxfewtrell: seriously surprised she hasn't already

yn_ln replied to your Close Friends story : Rachel is going to kill you

landonorris: i just told max the same thing, we're soul mates fr

yn_ln: i'm being serious

landonorris: so am i but did it make you smile?

yn_ln: yes?

landonorris: then it was worth it and i'll die happy

yn_ln: you're so cheesy🙄

landonorris for you i will be mozzarella, parmesan, chedda, gouda, brie, cottage, feta, swiss, burrata, cream, etc.

user replied to your story: this is iconic, lando norris, my fav malewife

randomfriend replied to your Close Friends story : i think you've been on tiktok too much

charles_leclerc replied to your Close Friends story : your head must be a fascinating place to be in, how do you do it?

landonorris: my brother in christ and racing, you can not be talking

user replied to your story: you're so right and you should say it

user replied to your story: Sometimes we don't have to share what's on our mind with the world

user replied to your story: I'm fucking creasing

⤷ end note ‧ ★ : heyyyy, how y'all doing🧍... sorry for the wait, i really did have most of this done and in my drafts but then writer's block hit and i left it for a while. also, i kinda suck at making articles lmao. thank you to everyone who reads and/or interacts with my smaus, ily<3.

taggingᯓ★ : @firelily-mimi and @appl3-0rchard

[pedroshotwifey]

So, yeah, ummm.. hello. I'm not sure how to explain what I'd like to request cause I'm a bit shy and whatever, but I kinda have this need... Bought a skirt the other week, retro, midi, lots of volume, high-waist, a dream! Got so many compliments and I was always a DUFF and I felt confident for like 3 seconds...And then I thought, imagine Javi seeing you in that skirt for the first time, like at a work party or whatever and fucks you while you're wearing that skirt while everyone else is in another room. Like, IMAGINE, how that skirt would bunch up around the waist, and ooof

Long request made short: Why yes, a shy, innocent person here who was never hit on by men that wants to have chair sex with Javi in some janitors closet or whatever.

Is this too much? Feel like it's too much but anyway...18 from prompt list 4.

Bye.

Hey, babe, so sorry this took a while! I actually started working on it a couple of months ago and just got stuck 😅 Anyways, I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted! (Our girl ended up getting fucked over Javi's desk, but hopefully the smut will make up for that oversight on my behalf. If not, I'll gladly write something else for you ♥)

Pairing: Javier Peña x coworker!fem!reader

Tags/warnings: smut, unprotected PIV sex, mentions of fingering, Javi's huge dick™, semi-public sex, anon's skirt™, self-deprecating thoughts, but javi fixes that right up, dirty talk, getting caught (kind of), pet names (baby, hermosa, etc.), stuff I'm probably forgetting

W/C: 2.7k

Summary: You start thinking down on yourself---luckily, Javi's there to lift you back up. Nothing some praise and a good fuck in his office can't fix.

Mini Skirt

You glance at the clock on the wall from where you’ve been perched on your desk, watching the office mingle. You’ve only been at this party for an hour and you’re already getting the urge to leave. You’d thought it was such a good idea at first, but now you just think you’re an idiot. It was all because of that damn skirt. You sigh and glance down at it. Yeah, that’s why. 

It’s fucking gorgeous, you’re not even going to lie. Retro, short as hell, high waisted, fluffed with luscious volume, and the perfect fit. You’d only worn it once before this, but that was before you’d moved and gotten a job with the Colombian DEA. It had given you a boost of confidence unlike any you’d had before, and had gotten you an absurd amount of compliments. Hell, you’d been confident coming in here with it on.

Now you’re thinking that may have had something to do with the fact that you’d known those people for much longer. Or maybe you’re completely delusional, and the skirt really just isn’t that cute. Not on you, at least. Not a single person has approached you yet. It’s a little humiliating if you’re being honest. You’d waved to Steve when you came in with the intention to talk—and probably ask about where you could find his gorgeous partner you’ve been harboring a crush on since you got here—but he pretty much blew you off. 

It had stung a little bit, but you’d shaken it off and kept going in hopes that someone else would pull you into their conversation. How wrong you were to think that. Everyone has ignored you so far. You’re not sure what you did wrong. Maybe people just don’t like you. That realization hurt like a bitch. You thought these people were your friends by the way they’ve acted toward you during weekdays

You only realize your eyes are tearing up when you look up at the clock again and find it blurry. That’s it. You’re out of here. You’ve learned your lesson. You hop off the desk and start making your way to the door, your face heating as self-deprecating thoughts race through your head a million miles a minute. You don’t look at Javi’s office as you pass it just in case he’s in there. Out of everyone here, you don’t want him to see you like this. You’re not dumb, you know the relationship the two of you have is bordering on flirtatious, but this is far too vulnerable of a state for you to be in to be around him right now. 

Yet you still stop when you hear his voice calling your name as you’re pushing the door open. It’s a bodily reaction for you to halt and start to turn. Of course he would spot you the one time you’re wishing he wouldn’t. You turn all the way, watching him as you try to hold your tears in. Hopefully you can play this off right and be on your way. 

“Yes?” you ask. You hear the waver in it, and you can tell Javi does too by the wince he tries to hide. 

“Where are you going?”

You’re almost taken aback. Why does he care? 

“Home,” you say, about to turn and reach for the door again.

“But you’ve only been here for a little while.” You watch as his eyes drop down your body, slowly taking you in. He licks his lips when they land on your skirt, and it makes you squirm.

“You look good,” he tells you, his gaze back on yours. His voice is raspier than it was a minute ago. It makes you weak in the knees, if you’re being honest. 

“Thank you.” It’s a quiet sound. Your cheeks feel hot. 

“Why are you leaving, carino? Is everything okay?” 

You have to focus hard on holding back tears, as well as embarrassment now. Do you really want to tell him what’s bothering you?

“Everybody’s been ignoring me since I got here,” you blurt before you can stop it. Javi takes a step forward, sympathy flashing in his warm brown eyes for a moment before giving you one more once-over. 

“In that outfit?” he asks. “On top of being the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of, that’s a damn shame.” 

You look down towards the floor, though a smile starts to tug at your lips. 

“Why don’t you come back in for a while.” His gaze darkens. “My office, maybe?”

Your mouth feels like cotton as you gravitate toward him. Your hand falls into his and you allow him to lead you back into his office as his mouth comes down by your ear. “What are you gonna do, Javi?” you ask, lust clear in your question. 

“Someone needs to ravish you in that fucking skirt before you leave,” he whispers, making you shiver. “And I know nobody else has the balls to bend you over their desk like I’m about to do.”

Your head snaps to look at his smirk. Your eyes are wide, your lips parted with both shock and desire. He chuckles slightly and glances around before stepping into the office with you at his side. You’re dreaming—you’ve got to be dreaming. But the way his hand slips around your waist feels too real.

“And after that, I’m gonna go out there and try to understand what the hell could have been blinding all those people to not want to talk to you.” 

You’re stunned, yet you keep your eyes on him as he shuts and locks the door behind him. Everything is happening so quickly, but you’d be damned if you tried to delay or stop it. 

You’re the one to meet his lips as soon as he turns your way, backing him towards the door as he hungrily reciprocates. His big hands travel down to your skirt, smoothing down the fabric to cradle the flesh of your ass. He’s dangerously close to the heat brewing between your thighs, to the wetness you know is beginning to seep through the seat of your panties. 

But all you can focus on is how intoxicating his tongue mingling with yours is, the plushness of his lips against yours. He tastes faintly like whiskey and cigarettes, just as you would have guessed, but somehow better. 

You moan against him as he squeezes your ass, bringing you flush to him so you can feel his erection against your abdomen. You groan against his lips upon feeling it, your mouth dropping open for a second in surprise. 

“Oh, god, Javi,” you moan. “Please, I need you,” you beg, one of your hands trailing down to gently brush over his covered cock. 

“Shit, baby, alright, I’ve got you.” He starts walking you back, keeping his lips on you until the backs of your thighs hit his desk. As soon as he feels the resistance, he pulls away just enough for you to start to protest, but you quickly stop when he grabs your hips and spins you around to face the desk. His open palm pushes firmly but gently on your back until your chest is flush to the top of it. 

Just the action in itself makes you moan, so when he flips your skirt up and pulls your panties down to your ankles within the next second, your skirt bunching around your hips, you nearly lose it. “I know, hermosa, I know.” His hand makes it way down to your cunt. 

You swear he growls as he strokes you gently, just barely teasing you. “Dios mío,” he mutters. “Fuckin’ soaked for me, gorgeous.” 

“Thought about this a lot,” you breathe. “Thought about your fingers, your cock.” 

Javi groans behind you. 

“Gonne be the fuckin’ death of me, sweet girl.”

“Please, Javi,” you beg again, not sure for what at this point. Something. Anything. 

This time, he puts more pressure on your folds, parting you and letting your wetness smear obscenely on his fingers. You moan as he starts to rub up and down again, teasing your clit with every stroke. 

“Yeah, you want to take my fat cock, hermosa?”

“Yes, Javi, please!” You sound borderline whiny as you push yourself back into him, trying to entice him into giving you a few fingers. 

“Okay, baby, come for me first. Need you ready.” 

You nod, and his fingers move to pay attention directly to your clit, starting to rub tight and fast circles. You can already feel the tension within you rising, getting you close to the edge faster than you previously thought was possible. So when he takes a step forward, pushing his clothed crotch into your ass, and his fingers get harder and faster against you, you fall apart. 

Heat races through you as you arch your back, moaning his name too loud, which prompts him to cover your mouth with his free palm. You settle against it, aftershocks making you shiver as he helps you through your orgasm. 

He removes his hands from you, and you barely have time to settle down before you hear the clinking of his belt being undone, and then the broad tip of his cock nestled at your entrance. 

“You ready, angel?” 

Out of breath, you frantically nod your head, your cheek pressed to the desk as you watch him. 

He chuckles lightly at your enthusiasm. “Words, sweetheart.” 

“Yes, Javi, please fuck me with your big cock,” you plead. 

You Think you hear him mutter something along the lines of “good girl”, as he pushes himself into you, your walls splitting around him. Your mouth drops open, your hands sliding across the desk as you try to grip on to something. Javi holds your hips firmly as he slowly feeds you every inch. 

“God dammit, baby, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Javi grits through his teeth. 

He waits until he’s fully seated, and then rubs a hand gently up and down your back, soothing you as you adjust to him. He’s so big—long and thick. You think you can feel him in your lungs. But you only wait a few moments before pushing back to him, his cock nudging your g-spot as you signal for him to move. 

Your toes curl when he pulls out the first time, leaving just the tip before smoothly sliding back in. There’s a lewd squelching sound when his pelvis meets your ass, and it only spurs you on. You clench around him, more turned on than you’ve ever been in your life. 

The friction as he builds up a steady pace is absolutely heavenly, his dick dragging deliciously against your soaked walls with each thrust. He’s stretching you out so nice, making room so he can fuck you good and fast. It’s by impulse that you reach one of your hands down between your legs, not to play with your clit, but you spread your fingers and feel the way he’s shoving himself in. 

The soft, wet skin of his cock skims the skin between your fingers, making both of you moan. 

“You like that, huh, honey? Like the way I stretch you out so good?” 

“Yes, Javi,” you keen. “S’ good.” At this point, you’re slurring your speech, growing delirious with every press of his tip to your cervix. It’s a gentle punch, giving you the perfect amount of stimulation to have your second orgasm building. It’s an overwhelmingly addictive feeling, the heat bubbling within you, the way your muscles tense up and make you shake. 

Your mind can only focus on the steady build up, the way his pace gets faster and more frantic with every second, the way his grip tightens on your hips and he lets little grunts slip from his lips. You almost wish you could be turned around so you could kiss him again, hungry and desperate to convey everything you’re feeling right now. 

But even if you did have that option, you probably wouldn’t be able to hold yourself up with the way he’s making your legs feel like jello—absolutely useless at this point. Your head is starting to get dizzy again. You swear you grow wetter as you get closer to coming. 

It happens so suddenly, the words don’t make it to your tongue before you’re gushing around Javi, a silent scream falling from you. It’s intense and long. You only realize your ears have been ringing once they stop and Javi’s praise hits them instead.

“Oh, fuck! Just like that, baby.” 

“Shit, I’m gonna come, where do you want me?” His words are as sloppy and rushed as his thrusts.

“In-Inside,” you blurt, using what little strength you have you reach the hand that had been on your cunt earlier to hold on to his hand still on your hip. 

“Oh fuck,” he grunts before thrusting a few more times and then stilling within you, burrying himself deep and holding you flush to him. He bends down over you, groaning into your ear as his cum paints your walls. 

When he’s finished, he slowly stands back up, pulling himself out of you. His seed drips out, falling down your thighs and pussy. You’re a bit jealous that Javi can see it and you can’t.  He stands there, just admiring for an extra second, before helping you up as well. You watch as he opens a drawer on his desk and pulls out a spare tie. He gives you no time to protest before he starts to wipe your spent cunt with it. 

You study him as he crouches down and cleans you the best he can, admiring his eyes, nose, lips, his sweaty brow and the way his soft curls cling to it. When he’s done, he stands back up, pulling your panties into place. He kisses you again, slower this time, savoring the moment.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. You both look at each other with panicked expressions, which only worsen as a set of keys begin to jingle as whoever it is unlocks the door. Javi barely has time to fix his pants and shove you half-way behind him before Steve’s stepping in like he owns the place. His eyes widen when he looks up, immediately clocking what just went down in here. 

“Shit, sorry, Javi, I thought you’d gone home—” 

His eyes catch on you, apparently just realizing who is in here with him. You swear he almost smiles as visible relief floods his features. 

“Fucking finally. You’ve been killing us.”

Speechless, you just gape at him. What is even going on right now? Javi says nothing either, probably more embarrassed than shocked, though, judging by the red hue crawling up his face when you take a glance at him. Apparently the two of you weren’t as discrete as you had thought.

“Whole office steered clear of the both of you in hopes this would happen and put us out of our misery tonight.”

Steve stays in the doorway, waiting for one of you to say something else. When you don’t, he raises his brows and retreats, calling out as he closes the door, “Also, I’m out twenty bucks now, so feel free to leave that on my desk at some point, Jav.” 

The door shuts and the two of you slowly turn to look at each other. “Did you know they would do that?” You immediately ask. 

Javi shrugs. “They’ve done it before, but I guess I didn’t think about it happening to us.”

“I thought people just didn’t like me, you asshole,” you throw out in a teasing tone. Javi raises his hands in defense. 

“Hey, carino, I didn’t tell anybody to ignore you. That was all them.” 

You shake your head. “Scared to get near me,” you mumble, chuckling slightly. “Bunch’a bullshit.” 

Though you have to admit, it does feel a lot better knowing that the entire office doesn’t hate you. Obviously it’s not their first time playing collective matchmaker. A little harsh, but clearly effective. 

Javi winks at you, as if reading your thoughts. “Alright, baby, let’s get you cleaned up and out in the office to mingle. I think you’re owed more than a few apologies by now.”

You snort and take a step back from him. “After what just happened,” you say, “I think I’m gonna call it even.”

**********

Want to request your own fic or read more like this? Try this link!

[dave-me0wstaine]

PLEASE LMEADE PLEASE!!!!!!! mean dilf dave bro.... dilf dave is too fine for this world.

IM BEGGINF foe him to be the kinkiest bitch on the planet (not too crazy js like size, degration, praise, daddy <maybe>) AND since he's so mature now he knows exactly how to make u feel good. ALSO I SAW A INTERVIEW OF COWBOY DAVE CALLING HIMSELF DADDY AND I CANT STOP THINKING OF IT GOD HELO ME.

OMG SAGE YOUR BRAIN!!!! and first off WHERE TF IS THIS INTERVIEW??? PLS PROVIDE A LINK (for scientific research purposes ofc <33)

secondly i love love LOVE dilf dave simply for these reasons!!! also ik realistically it's unlikely he’d like it but something about calling him daddy.... omg it just does it for me. ESPECIALLY when he's older, i feel like he'd be into it more because it seems more reasonable a title for a man his age, as compared to when he was young. like i feel if you tried to call 80s/early 90s dave “daddy” he'd just kinda laugh it off. but late 90s/early 2000's dave??? oh he's into it.

like i imagine he's already into degradation/praise, etc., but you accidentally unlocked the daddy and size kink for him. maybe you two are going at it, and dave's fucking you so good you're damn near delirious, and the word accidentally slips out. you're so fucked out you don't even realize you said it until he stops in his tracks, only to plunge his cock deep inside you while he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"you like my cock that much, huh, you whore? you like that? calling me daddy?"

after this all hell breaks loose. he insists you call him daddy during sex, usually while you beg him to touch/fuck you. he refers to himself as daddy, saying "daddy loves you, baby" while he's fucking you into oblivion, and whispers praises of how you're such a good girl for him. the size kink follows soon after, as he realizes just how small and submissive you get for him.

also ik im being extra delusional but i'd like to think that at some point he’d start occasionally referring to himself as "daddy" outside the bedroom. like you're trying (and failing) to get something off of a high shelf and he's brushing behind you, saying in a soft voice "daddy's got it, baby."

oh dear lord i just love dave with a daddy kink

[howlsofbloodhounds]

cjskncks murder/reaper anon here 😭

the idea started as a crackship. i was joking with my friend how murder's name is murder, and reaper's representation animal is crow, and the saying about "a murder of crows" and stuff (i nicknamed the ship "crowshipping" lmao). later on, it became more serious as i think about how murder's story and possible endings will always revolve around death. he is a reluctant murderer trapped in a constant cycle of killings because his story ("fate") decides it to be so. canonically he can/will never escape his universe. he doesn't have the reset abilities to turn back time, so he will forever be haunted by his empty universe if the human decides to quit. that type of loneliness, his only eternal companion is death, metaphorically of course.

but what if it's not metaphorical? what if death - reaper - is there to witness what murder has done over and over again? to reaper, murder is like the harbinger of death. everywhere he goes, death occurs. reaper has to come to dusttale time and time again because the murdered souls call for him. both murder and reaper are tied together in that sense, by their stories and roles/functions.

i don't know if this is a fluffy ship/duo or not, since i don't know if murder can even see reaper normally? i'd imagine you can only see reaper if you're close to death, and murder refuses to die. but i'd like to imagine murder kinda knows someone (other than his phantom brother) is watching over him in a way.

That’s a sorta adorable dynamic I’ll admit. Someone watching over you, although with the type of person murder is, it might lead to more paranoia than anything at first. Especially if he can’t tell if the feeling is real or a hallucination.

Itd be interesting to imagine their first meeting, or if murder ever manages to leave his timeline and gain an answer. perhaps even from killer, whose whole deal with Resetting has likely managed to meet reaper a few times.

and escape him but thats not that important. killer is a spiteful little bitch, nothing new.

anyway the potential dynamic between murder and reaper is honestly kinda fantastic, especially if you lean into the idea ive seen floating around that murder kinda delusionally believes himself to be the Angel in the prophecy, liberating the Underground and bestowing mercy upon them by not allowing the human to kill them first. a sorta justification for himself.

and hell, reaper is an actual death god, people in real life already worship the gods. it’s only fitting for the supposed Angel of Death to leave offerings for the death God(s), yeah? crow bones. crow feathers. dead leaves and plants. animal skulls already dead.

Reading any myths that Reaper and Grim (Reapertale Papyrus) have told about them. ways to worship and venerate them if you wanna go that route with a murder sans who has managed to somehow leave his timeline.

hell maybe thats how murder manages to cope with what he does to other timelines in aus where nightmare kidnaps him and forces him to work for him. make it dedicated to the Death gods themselves, and maybe his victims who he never wanted to hurt or kill will be lead safely into whatever afterlife exists.

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/748392902553649152/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy748386443834048512?source=share

Let's make one thing clear i wasn't the og anon who asked you about the "did jungkook said all those vile things to jm" but i did saw it so i commented on it and i stand by the fact that making fun of someone's looks when the said person is insecure about his looks is "evil" cause it is. The male treat e/o differently bs you can keep to yourself cause teasing is one thing but making fun of someone's insecurity is not the same get that fact clear.

Did i anywhere said jungkook is not jimin's friend? NO i did not so idk exactly what y'all are yapping about. Did i say "And jk is the standard of love for jkkrs" refering to his past self which jkkrs romanticize and glorify? Yes i did. so now what all it means is i said jungkook is not "the partner" for jimin and i never commented on their friendship and there's difference between friendship and romantic relationship. You can't always chose your friends or even best friends as your romantic partner cause you don't feel it and it doens't work like that. Just because someone's friends with you doens't mean you see them as your partner cause you want more and different. Also the ppl who says we make jm looks pathetic nahh bro fact here is it's you who love the "jm fell first jk fell harder" edits not us. Jm is sweetheart with everyone and he especially takes care of his younger ones, he babies V too who's literally 2 months younger than him. Just because jk learned how to be nice over the years doens't mean it can erase what he said when he was 18-19-20 yrs old. He did say all those things to jm it is what it is.

About the anon who said you have been waiting for jm and jk to reveal their partners from 2017 cause ppl said so then you and those people both are dumb cause why on earth would you think they're gonna reveal their partners at their peak?? By revealing their partners i completely mean them officially introducing and CONFIRMING their partners which is also not the case with taennie (i know they dated but they never confirmed so doens't fit in what i mean). Like they debuted in 2013 and you were expecting their partner's official reveal in 2017 cause some ppl said so? Lol. But here i say wait for some more years. Let them get to the age of 35-40 and you'll see. And the list you posted to show how jungkook treats jm can be applied to how jungkook treats other members too then, so maybe he's dating them too (again except one gcft yet). Btw we all did saw jungkook with a woman at night in his apartment, back hugging her....yes he doesn't have a gc now but does that earse the exsistance of that video? The times when jkkrs were like "he's missing his love of life jm" while the guy was having women at his home? Sure. He was missing jm so much that rather visiting jm at any of his sets or anything like other members jungkook was at home doing lives singing songs live..i see how much he was missing. I'm not telling this because i expected that from him it's because y'all make big deal out of nothing.

Anyways, idt y'all gonna be here after those many yrs but if y'all stay I'd love to see that reaction.

Again with the anachronisms

I'm running out of patience here-

When did you find out Jimin was insecure about his looks??? 2013, 2014? 2015 when he was in his hypermasculine state doing 360 flips in the air, flexing his biceps, talking bout girls chasing him, when he was strong confident in his masculinty and showing it off- is this the same year he opened up about his vulnerabilities???

In fact when did Jimin discuss this self image issue???

And when was Jungkook teasing Jimin????

Making fun of his insecurities bitch you're crazy. Lost it. Pulling stuff from your ass get a life cos your whole existence is an illusion.

In your crazy delusional head what did you think was happening???

Poor poor insecure Jimin walking around shy hiding from people explaining to everyone he has body image issues while his younger maknae followed him around pointing to him telling the world his biceps was fake his abs had been drawn on????

Same Jimin who had the hyung line busting their ass off to catch up? Same Jimin whom the company used as a model for the others to emulate Same Jimin whom the company preferred him showcasing his gorgeous body and the others had to work had to attain his level of physique but even that they were still passed over for Jimin???

Same Jimin?????

Use your brains for a sec, with the way he looked and the way he carried himself around who could tell he was feeling insure??? You only know that NOW years forward into the future when he opened up and not the actual moment it was happening.

You think Jungkook would play like that with him if he knew any of that ? And ever since he'd become like that- well as you put it, he's been "nice".

Well well well

Again confirming my diagnosis of you and your kind

"Just because JK has learned to be nice over the years don't erase what he said and did when he was 18 19 20

Actually he was 15, 16, 17 you creep.

Also you are not saying anything we don't know. Like I said WE KNOW HOW YALL WORK you not difficult to figure out.

At least you admitting he's a nice person others of your kind have a hard time admitting that.

If you want to Judge a grown man you claim is nice over his playful ribbings with HIS FRIENDS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR that's your crazy to deal with.

But do tell that to your new recruits and the impressionable minds you try to twist and brainwash like the fine Tuktukker relative you are.

I simply disagree with you. That's all.

I don't see any of what he said and did as malicious. He did it with everyone and especially Taehyung. Jimin simply wasn't comfortable with that which is fine because he's after all not a very typical or traditional male in every sense of the word and how was Jungkook to know he couldn't just toss him around and throw him in the air and break his back like he was doing his other friends.

We all have our idiosyncrasies and I think BTS work so well because they have learned to respect eachother's boundaries- well some of them.

I think if that was Jimins boundaries he is entitled to his boundaries and all anyone can do is respect those boundaries.

But I'm starting to also appreciate why JK solos would equally hate Jimin and Jimin stans like you.

I mean for one he was also constantly disturbing that dude trying to kiss him and bug him when CLEARLY JUNGKOOK ALSO DIDN'T WANT THAT especially as it was done publicly. For an introverted fella I can see how stressful that whole experience must have been for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor poor guy 🥲

Respect goes both ways Anon.

You can't insist on your boundaries while also constantly pushing someone else's. Especially since Jungkook was the shy type and didn't like being the center of attention. If someone doesn't want to be bothered or doesn't want to be friends with you you leave them alone. You don't act sad about it on camera and inadvertently put your fans on their back.

I'm open to discussing all the toxic things Jimin did as a teen with you since you enjoy living in the past but ll rather redirect you to another toxic Jk solo who is equally stuck in the past as you so you two can take each other out.

For me, jikook grew and I grew with them.

Take care.

[that-girl-glader]

JWCT SPOILERS FROM THE TRAILER BELOW

BRO WTH OMGOSH. SO FAR THIS ARE THE THINGS GOING ON IN MY HEAD FROM THAT TRAILER

FIRST OFF...... OMGOSH WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOK SO HOT. AND WHY IS BEN SO BEAUTIFULLY BLONDE AND PRETTY BOY😭😭 DARIUS IS KILLING ME WITH HIS STANCE IN THE BOAT. THE FU???

Okay now for business. "I'm not the same Brooklyn you knew before" Bitch no you FUCKING AREN'T. BECAUSE YOU HAVE GROWN UP. AND have trauma. But babes....what do you mean by that???? Brother. You're gonna get yourself ACTUALLY killed. Why did you burn the photo....there was no reason. ALSO LOVE THE HAIR WTH.

I think the other girl in the trailer we didn't see is either Mae or you know BEN PINCUS' GIRLFRIEND. AND IF IT IS.... I'M SO OVER MY LIFE. BUT THE GAYS CAN'T WIN. AND....I have the sneaking suspicion that benrius (yay) or Benji(bluh ew ew burns...jokesssss) is never gonna happen. I hope he breaks up with her if that ends up true.

I will sue if Brooklyn and Darius end up together. And no it's not because I want Darius and Ben or whatever. Heck they can all stay single except for yasammy for all I care. I just don't see it. It does not compliment each other in any way, and doesn't make sense to me. And I'm a hugeeee Kenji x Brooklyn because it was a very fair balance of differences and similarities. And it was so requited. I just don't see why if you can see she wasn't committed to being with Kenji that she'd be committed to be with Darius. I think she just can't immediately jump into a relationship.

Darius just had his first love it doesn't make sense for him to get with someone. The field of romance is unfamiliar to him. I think he needs to heal first too. They both do. Before anything happens. But guys...it would mean so much to me if benrius in a future skip ends up together because I NEED THIS WTH...And their dynamic just makes me so happy I can't lose that. I'd be borderline sad. Even if the bond was queer platonic. I'd take it. Even if they never kiss or hug or whatever I'd take it. Even if nothing happens with brooks or Ben I'd take it!!! Better non canon than canon am I right. Pull a gustholomule so I can stay delusional.

If anything and I mean ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YASAMMY IM THROWING ROCKS. NO ONE IS DYING THEY ARE LITERALLY IMMORTAL. IT CAN'T JUST BE THE WHITE CHARACTERS WHO CHEAT DEATH.

WTF did Ben keep it a secret that Brooklyns alive?? Delusional version: He doesn't want his chances with Darius to blow....ahahahaha. Real version: He doesn't want his friends to be upset with how much Brook has changed. Or their grief to be invalidated. Or for them to give her a chance when she has changed so much in a very not moral way. Welp. Maybe he just feels like Brook kept it a secret for a reason, and I might as well not call her out. Anywho you guys help me too. I'm insane.

Bye guys. Stay prehistoric!!!!💚🤎🦕

[melanodis]

NAVIGATION arc.txt — incoherent rambling art.psd — art tag others art — art I reblog that isn't mine. I try to tag these by the original poster as well for sorting. archive — what it says on the tin - better for searching since it shows everything whereas tumblr search does not.

Arc / Michael | 18 | he/him | fan artist #1 undefeated champion of being strange and off-putting. don't call me they. personal: @lainps1 for all my bitching

Cohost | Discord | Twitter | Bluesky

REQUIRED READING. LIKE IF YOU GOT TO THE END 👍

I'm autistic and super annoying about my interests. I block who I want when I want and I will not negotiate on established terms. I openly say and frequently use words such as faggot and queer, along others. If these bother you, the unfollow and/or block button is right there. I am incredibly delusional and schizophrenic. I am not the type to "jump in" on a group conversation, I need to be cordially invited in or asked questions order to do anything like a vampire. You have to understand that being told "haven't you ever noticed that you're always the one starting conversations? nobody wants to talk to you lmao" does some FUCKED shit to your psyche. If you can't accommodate for something as simple as that, then you're simply ableist. There's no way around it. Not interested in being mutuals with you if you genuinely don't like me as a person. I would rather have and deeply appreciate if people ask for me to follow them. I try to keep things quiet. I am very social but I'm cautious about following people back and I try to be kind to the best of my ability. One thing I am adamant about is not rewarding aggressive behavior. If you call yourself mean or a hater I'll simply take your word for it and assume I fall under the category of those you target.

TL;DR: I love making new friends and don't mind interaction but it needs to be known beforehand that I suffer from delusions and can be erratic at times. I will not associate myself with self proclaimed "haters" and you will be blocked on sight. Feel free to talk to me, tag me in anything, ask me anything, I really do love human interaction but I'd appreciate if you ask me to follow you back instead of doing it on my own.

minors please filter #n/s/f/w and #rent lowering gunshot

[mysticficti0n]

Heyyy! I know you haven't written in a while but I was wondering if you could write a story on like Tom and Y/n having an argument because Y/n saw him flirting with one of the girls in the bar and her band (yes y/ns in a band) and Tokio hotel don't know they're baso together so they're egging it on and then Y/n storms out and is followed by tom and they carry on in a screaming match until Tom kisses her and then Blah blah the bands find out

luv you n merry Christmas! we miss you B

love this idea!!

(but first let me explain my absence 😬- so I have literally been lacking in the creativity department and really had just no energy to do anything, which I am sorry about ive been so stressed with work and family- but guess who's back bitches- me, its me- also I hope you all had a good Christmas!)

It was meant to be secret

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- swearing, smoking, drinking, cheating(ish)

words- 1000

I swayed my body to the music, throwing my head side to side with my eyes closed just feeling the rhythm, it was the first time in a while I'd had a night off from tour, It was great though being on tour with not only my band but with Tokio Hotel too, they're like the male equivalents to us so we worked amazing

"Y/n!" a voice broke me from my music trance and my eyes snapped open to see Rosa grabbing me "look over there" my head followed where she pointed and there was Charlie. Charlie making the biggest fucking heart-eyes at Tom "they're so cute!" Rosa smiled sipping her drink

"aha yeah" I frowned- nobody knew... they couldn't know for now. I went to the table where I felt my drink and bag and snatched it up finishing whatever vodka shit I had left "I'll be back" I smiled, I pushed through the crowd but it wasn't long till I saw other familiar faces

"where you off?" Georg called grabbing my wrist pulling me closer to whisper in my ear so I could hear him "not leaving are you?"

"no no- just gotta call someone quickly" he gave me a look to which I gave a smile to and he let go of me. I carried on my way out but decided to turn and just look back and there he still was, closer than ever with Charlie "dick" I spoke before I walked out.

I unzipped my purse and pulled out my cigarets, lighting one and holding it to my lips- why would he be so close with her, I mean I know they're friends but surely... thats to close, one cigaret turned into the pack each puff helping stop any tears falling from my eyes. "Hey hun you okay?" a voice asked, I looked up to see another girl, bleach blonde hair, circles of mascara under her eyes and lipstick smudged on her cheek

"yeah just seen my erm... boyfriend I guess getting cozy with another girl" I laughed stamping out the bud

"ugh boys are the worst- you're beautiful so he's making a huge mistake" she slurred but I could tell it was all coming from a nice place "keep your head high beautiful" she came over and wrapped me in a hug- who knew a hug from a random drunk women would make me feel better?

"thank you" I breathed watching her walk away, I stood just staring out at the street until I decided I should probably go back in. I fixed myself and went to push open the door and as I did- who appeared

"oh babe I've been looking for you everywhere" Tom smiled but all I could do was sigh and try and walk past "woah whats up?" he spoke but I had no time to hear him out, not now. "Y/n" I felt his hand wrap around my forearm and bring me back out with him and pulled me to stand in the alley with him

"Tom not right now" I complained trying to get past him and his face dropped "just let me go in"

"no what the fucks wrong you've been out here for ages, obviously something isn't okay!" he said sternly and he wasn't wrong "did someone do something?"

"yeah- yeah they did" I said looking him dead in his dark eyes "they got to fucking close to someone who's meant to just be a friend- didn't they Tom" I spat shoving him off me

"What! what are you on about you're fucking delusional"

"oh fuck off Tom, like you don't know- you and Charlie should just fuck on the floor huh, you know I really thought you liked me being that I'm your fucking girlfriend" I watched as his tongue poked his cheek, hands dropping to his side "yeah I saw- so go fuck yourself Kaulitz"

"yeah- I'll fuck Charlie while I'm at it as well then?" he taunted

"I dare you" his eyes flicked looking me up and down, his tongue now playing with his lip-ring "you're such a fucking cunt- how could you do this"

"your hot when your angry" he soothed

"fuck you" I yelled going to walk away before hands on my waist dragged me back and he pressed his lips against mine, my hands went against his chest to push away but I quickly melted

"you know I don't want anyone but you right" he spoke between the kisses I nodded "you're the only one I care about and the only one I want to do everything with" my arms now wrapping around his neck pulling him back in "you're so beautiful Y/n" he moaned

"thats great but please just kiss me" I grinned seeing a smirk appear on the boys face, he snaked an arm under my leg and spun us around my back against the brick and him between my legs, I felt him push on me "fuck Tom" I groaned as his lips moved down my neck

"I have no clue where- Oh Tom! To- HOLY SHIT" I herd the yell of Megan and me and Tom broke away "NO WAY!" I looked to Tom then back to Megan who was now with Charlie, Rosa, Bill, Gustav, Georg too

"shit" I whispered hiding my face in his chest

"whats happening here then?" Bill quipped with a laugh, Tom looked to me and back to his brother "wait really?" Tom nodded and we all stood there confused

"wait you guys haven't even spoke what the fuck is it?" Gustav asked sipping his beer

"can I?" Tom looked down to me and I nodded, he pressed a kiss to my head before looking back to the crowd of our friends "Me and Y/n... well she's my girlfriend" he smiled and everyone yelled and ran over asking question after question

"can't believe you never said anything!" Rosa laughed shoving me

"it was meant to be secret!"

[rametarin]

I hate it here.

Communicating when I don't feel well is absolutely pointless when I live with a fucking delusional narcissistic piece of shit. No matter what my symptoms or how I'm feeling unwell, it's always whatever stupid bullshit she has on her mind at the time.

"Oh you feel sick [in this way]? You must just be hot. Lets do something about the heat. Because clearly your problem is you're just hot. You don't have a problem, you're just hot. It's easily solved by spending no money and doing nothing, you just have to deal with the heat."

The air conditioner is on, it's only 70F in the house, and there's a fan blowing in my room, you fucking psychopath. I tell you I'm feeling unwell with breathing problems, you proceed to ignore my actual symptoms and then turn the AC off the dry setting.

And it has always been like this. It doesn't fucking matter what the illness or the problem is, it has to be whatever she wants it to be or it doesn't exist. She's quite sincerely one of those fucking assholes that saw Oprah Winfrey's "Power of Positive Thinking" and The Secret type bullshit and decided she could bend the universe backwards to make it whatever she wanted it to be, if only she gave into her delusions and tried to force reality to be whatever she wants. Just, trying to browbeat the universe.

I absolutely hate women like this, because only a sheltered being can think this way. To be a man that thinks this way, you have to have a certain degree of wealth and people working under you that feel the heat and friction and destruction before it gets to you, to insulate yourself from consequences. If you're a woman with men around you, you have people between you and the consequences of your actions that are socially obligated to do the shit you aren't on the hook to do. And that translates to someone in more of a moderator position that can try and stubbornly close their eyes and "BLAHBLAHBLAH UNIVERSE IT'S A CERTAIN WAY I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and think they're somehow beating back causality and entropy, while the men around them are burning alive.

We could stop spending money on frivolous shit and she could help me. She chooses instead to buy troves of bullshit that will rot in a week and refuses to buy or invest in anything else. But if I have any spending cash on me, suddenly my money goes into HER expenses. And there's fuckall I can do about it but go live by myself in a fucking gutter. I can't afford to leave, but I can't make any money staying. It is MARGINALLY safer than living in a ditch in any season but I can't make any progress while here.

And she refuses to stop buying enormous piles of shit for the simple reason she's too proud and indignant that SHE would have to help ME. From her perspective, she's supposed to have access to all my income and then if she spends it, I'm unable to escape. I can't make income in my condition until I'm well. She refuses to help me get well, for the simple fact that if I have to do it, then I'm on the hook for thousands of dollars of medical debt that I need a hole to live in to save money to pay off. Which she intends to pioritize herself first in my spending, so I'd be stuck paying TWO FORTUNES on minimum wage.

Despite my vocabulary and despite having nigh infinite space to write, I can't quite verbalize just how much I despise this cunt. I'll be happy after she dies of natural causes and she's no longer a pain in my ass. She has deliberately destroyed my life, my entire life, just for vanity and pride. Just, over and over again, chronic and sustained. Unfailingly. Choosing to be a fucking monster when she could just fucking stop at any point. But having absolute control and a noose around my neck and the fucking abyss if I try and just fucking leave is how she's decided to control my life. Threatening me with homelessness and implying she'll trump up stories about fake ass domestic abuse just to sic the state on me if I try and up and leave.

This worthless bitch uses denial as a weapon to manipulate everybody, including herself.

[kayla-marie-writes]

Episode 10 of My Demon:

My dislike of Star Jin has intensified. I've never understood the TV trope of delusional manipulation in the hopes of getting who you want. If anything, it devalues the love the manipulator thinks s/he/they have for tbe object of that affection.

"Oh, I conveniently found out that the love of my life did XYZ, and you're the CONVENIENT witness! Let's be together!"

Bitch, no.🤨

Six episodes left. Will we finally see what happened to Do-hee's parents, and see Madam Ju's connection?? Will DO-HEE ever find out?? I'm going to be honest, I'm not phased by her having to die, because there's always a dramatic way to fix the situation, with a lot of time to figure it out. If this was pulled out, like, with 2-3 episodes left, I might sweat a bit before remembering that I'm in KDramaLand.

Okay. The cute way Gu-won tried to spare her about the cake is so cute. The demon with puppy-like tendencies is wreaking HAVOC on my feels.🥹 Ah, confessing while your love is asleep..🥰

HOLD THE HELL AWN!!! No wonder little brother is so messed up!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! Forcing him to go to therapy is long-term gaslighting. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!!

And FUCK STAR JIN FOR MANIPULATING MY SEOK-HOON!! I am so damn sick of her. Nothing she does or nothing anyone tells me will redeem her at this point. Nothing. You got my baby involved. For a man who DOESN'T WANT-Oh, my God...

All of this for a job and some money?! Again. As I've said in other posts, there has GOT TO BE MORE TO IT THAN THIS! See, that bitch hoped he would still choose her. She makes me SICK!!

This...is admittedly a lot, considering that the show isn't over. Are-are we going to sweat for six episodes? WAIT THEY HEALED?! AHHHH HE GOT THE TATOO BACK BECAUSE SHE DIED!! OMG!!

That wrapped up faster than I'd thought?! Hmm. Why do I feel like Seok-hoon is joining that side to get information...and why do I feel like it's gonna cost him? I'm not ready for that.🥹 Aside from Star Jin...existing...it was another good episode! (Kudos to the actress, BECAUSE I CANNOT STAND THE CHARACTER!!)

[cringeandproudx3]

dude. your an embarrassment to real systems. mixed origins and endos not real, it's ableism and appropriation. It was literally coined on tiktok. Also you can't make headmates, that's literally racist. and fictives are not a thing that's delusionil. Also, the creator of that song Mezmeriser is probably not liking that you have a ""fictive"" of them.

TW TW this stupid ass ask is anti endo and ableist Also swearing in my answer bc I do that⚠️⚠️⚠️

GUYS GUYS!! I got my first anon hate!! Are you proud of me??

Anyways, let's unpack how fucking wrong this is.

First of all, you're* fucking cry Abt it whiny bitch

Second, we're not an embarrassment to real systems because we are a real system.

Third, mixed origins and endos are real! It's not ableism, we literally are disabled. We're physically disabled, which I'd prefer to not dump on that since it's a bit personal to some of us including me, and we're neurodivergent. It's also not ableism because it's not hurting other disabled people; we're not claiming to have a disorder when we dont. Which, we don't btw, we're a nondisordered system. Also not appropriating, bc wtf are we appropriating exactly?? NOTHING.

Fourth, the term "endogenic system" wasn't coined on tiktok at all. C'mon, you're embarrassing other anti endos, I actually kinda feel bad for them. Surface level knowledge.

Fifth, you can make headmates, and how tf is that racist?? I assume you're talking Abt the age old "tulpamancy is appropriation!!" Panic, but we don't even have tulpas.. (also tulpamancy and tulpagenic systems ARENT appropriative or racist??) Our few created headmates were made utilizing other ways.

Sixth, fictives are real?? Even other anti endos know this, bitch. Also okay okay, being blatantly ableist after accusing us of being ableist, nice approach dumbass! Literally, fictives arent inherently delusional, delusional should not be used as an insult either because there is nothing wrong with being delusional!!!!

Seventh, satsuki/32ki doesn't know who the fuck we are, who Mezku is, and probably never will because the world is big. He also probably doesn't even know about/that much about plurality at all, and he certainly doesn't give a shit that some random Internet bitch discreetly has a fictive from their MASSIVELY POPULAR song. Also, your wording sucks, because Mezku isn't a fictive of Satsuki himself, zris a fictive of Miku from the song.

Tldr; this fucker doesn't even know shit about plurality AT ALL, not just endogenic plurality, is ableist (intentionally or not), a hypocrite, and is probably an embarrassment to anti endos as well. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk!

Ares 💿

[anadrenalineslut]

What annoys me about the whole terf position is that cis men do not need to "dress up" as women in order to rape us and the whole hate filled bigoted position that trans women need to be "gatekept" from women's only spaces is that it necessarily assumes cis men are not already raping us dressed as well... CIS MEN.

Like a man has never put on a dress in order to rape a woman, it doesn't happen. Every terf "trans predator" can be disproven by realizing half of them are gnc cis women or their transness has nothing to do with the crime they committed and they were trans loooong before they ever committed a crime. That's like holding up a black criminal and saying "see this proves ALLLLLLLLLLLLL black people are criminals" its fucking bigotry, point blank period but their examples are hoaxes that are disproven by a quick Google search into their examples and it's very easy to recognize propaganda if you start assuming that every "infograph" of "dangerous" groups of minority predators is white supremacist behavior, point blank period.

And even if you grant this INSANE ILLOGICAL AND SCIENTIFICALLY WRONG STATEMENT that ALLLLLLLLLLLLL (100%) trans people, both men and women, are sex predators you are still left with 99% of rapists at large.

If you exclude trans men and focus on ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL trans women, you still are left with 99.6% of all rapists at large.

Like, the position does not in fact keep women safe at all and to pretend like it does is ridiculous.

If men could wear a dress and get away with raping a woman, they would be doing it in DROVES mother fucker.

Stop pretending like your TRANSPHOBIA is based in "science" or is "logical" because it is FACTUALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY WRONG AND INACCURATE.

If you want to be a fucking bitch, say it with your whole chest. Don't hide behind your vagina or uphold rape culture in order to fear monger and oppress 0.5% of the population, 1% if you're a terf who focuses equally on all trans people, because of some DELUSIONAL notion you have that trans people have "all the power and privilege" in this society and they're "evil rapists" who are coming to get you.

Just fucking say you're ignorant and value your emotions over the facts in order to act like your assumed superiority grants you the right to OPPRESS A FUCKING MINORITY.

You're disgusting trash, but I'd respect you more if you spoke the truth behind your illogical fear of trans women/people instead of pretending like statistics or the fucking facts agree with you they dont.

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

NEW GAME ALERT 🫡 Assign a song to each of your tumblr friends?? 💪

IM SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER W THIS AOUGHGHGHHGHGH im rlly bad at answering asks on time 🤡 anyways without further ado (buckle up for mostly kpop)

@pernonix: cliche but it has to be cast me a spell by mili! perno is like The mahoyaku mutual for me so it's only natural that i associate the mhyk theme song w them AHAHAHA if i had to give a non-mhyk song, it'd be in&out by red velvet!

@pocasu: AOUGHGHGH ion my beloved 🫶 suit dance by onlyoneof is the song i'd give them! it's got the suave elegant #swag that i associate with them <3 keep serving all that cunt bestie bae we love to see it

@ai-kan1: (grips ai) i give you boy by the boyz! it's super cheerful and fun, which is genuinely the vibe u give off hehe i also think the song is super ace-core which works perfectly well for one of our resident acekissers xoxo

@anzepanpan/@venushotline: i'm giving you new by yves (loona)! this is actually my favorite loona solo and i stand by it when i say yves only makes music for hot girls <3 it's classy, it's girly, it's got the pretty girl energy dia embodies perfectly!

@senqv: your song is sunny side up by red velvet! i kinda associate you with a sweet, lackadaisical energy, and i think this is the perfect kaiserkisser enemies to lovers thing (pov im delusional) im thinking of <3 we love to see it nyehe

@tartppola: im giving you by other ace anthem, which is we must love by onf! our taste is impeccable and our shady smut peddling dms are even more tasteful. keep kissing adeuce and letting me beat u up w love &lt;3 also liar liar by oh my girl is my deuce anthem so im tacking that onto u as well

@scornelious: hello tv :] my song for you is meddle about by chase atlantic! this is what u get for being my resident aikukisser. im sorry i have to. i didnt want to assign you a machine gun kelly song, so ur getting chase atlantic instead. love u to pieces muah hehe

@pearly-elain: elain my bbg (fuckboy lipbite /j) i'd be doing u dirty if i didnt give u a girlboss anthem! so im giving you snapping by chungha <3 please dont grill kaiser too hard i still need him sort of alive if i wanna continue by whiteboykissing

@sophiethewitch1: im assigning you villain by stella jang! it's so preppy and mature, and i think that suits you very well! i love seeing u in pitlock, and i think the nuanced nature of the song is very sophiecore in my opinion :]

@takumipineapplexd: taku babe u are love o'clock by wjsn! it's the perfect teenage-girl daydream heartthrob crush song, and it fits your vibe to a T! love seeing u being delulu and love smacking u into the ground with said delulu

@spadecentral: im giving you hula hoop by loona! it's such a cute, fast-paced bubblegum song, and that's generally the vibes i always get from you when we talk! thanks for always being supportive of my interests, and keep brightening my day lovely!!

@antiv3nom: POPPET <3 you are getting wow by loona! it's another banger song, very cute very fun very dancey! i wanted to give u smth more creative than slapping on some videogame-themed kpop song, so loona it is 🫡

@yaakultt: aough anyone who has been on my blog for like . longer than 3 seconds knows that i am Not the biggest fan of newjeans but i truly mean this when u give me immaculate hype boy by newjeans vibes! it's the girlypop, chillax big sis vibes yanno? only the cool girls get assigned newjeans songs by mac :]

@katasstrophy: ur song is so what by loona (can u tell im an orbit ADKGKJSD)! it's so loud and unapologetic and layered, it's the perfect bad bitch song for none other than the baddest of them all <3 thank u for feeding me so well w kaiser thoughts always hehe

@leiqi: ur getting superhuman by nct! idk why but i keep associating nct with u 💀 and this song for some reason but its ok!! its a super fun song that fits a super fun person, and i love how u always indulge in my delulu ass tbz x bllk thoughts HAHA

@kruinka: hello kaiserkisser :) you're getting picassO by onlyoneof! it's such a beautiful sensual artsy song, which is perfect for The kaiserartist of tumblr dot com! i love seeing ur art, and i cant wait till i get to commission u again!

@torufilms: im giving u the One and Only heart attack by chuu! it's cutesy and fun and so so so huggable, which sums up everything about you so well! even ur acc theme is adorable, so i think heart attack rlly is the cherry on top <3

@gloriium: your song is to heart by fromis9! it's a super heartfelt coming-of-age song and i cant help but think abt how well it'd fit ur yumeship w sebek :] it's so pure and catchy and innocent, and it's definitely a song i associate with you!

@earthtooz: my song for you is change up by seventeen! you're like a spark of joy to see, so naturally, my song for u is something that matches that high-tension energy! you never fail to make me crack up, so i adore having u around!

@aanobrain: every time i see u, all i can think abt is the tag u left abt me almost making u like kaiser, so i just Have to give u gaslighting by onlyoneof! the enemies to lovesr arc before becoming a fullfledged kaiserkisser is a rite of passage <3 u'll become like us soon enough

@hammannii: man there's like . a bajillion songs i cld give u, but i am assigning you with begin by jungkook! i think it's a good testimonial song to our . unconventional friendship, and i hope we continue indulging (read: bullying) each other!

@notaliarr: hello kaiserkisser :) your song is the stealer by the boyz! it's such a slutty yet like . oddly yearnful song? and if that doesnt sum up kaiser–and by association, you–then i dont know what does <3 i love seeing ur art, and i always gobble it up

@hyomaluvr: my song for u is rococo by iz*one! i remember u mentioning them being ur ults, and rococo is one of my favorite songs by the group :) have fun with ur dangans and ronpas or whatever, and ill be back to smack u over the head w kuroo at some point

@chaosinanutshell: your song is dkdk by fromis9! can u tell im a sucker for cutesy pop? it's so whimsical yet endearing, and that's the sorta vibe i get from you! i love seeing u pop into my inbox and im so so sorry for being so bad at answering ur asks, but ur effort doesnt go unnoticed here!!!

@itshis: i'm assigning you get it by pristin v! it's such a good song, and it's so pussyslay just like u <3 i look up to u a lot, so im always excited to see u on my dash and to see whatever it is ur up to! im cheering u on zari!!

@by-moonflower: i salute to the backbone of kaisernation 🫡 my pick is velvet by exid! it's such a chill, sensual grown-woman-ass song (im so sorry i wish i cld be more elegant) which is genuinely the kind of vibes i always get from u. like the red-wine-rich-aunt-poetry-night sort of aesthetic, yanno?

@aiixen: your art is sOOOO cute!! i love seeing ur oc smmmmm im giving u flash by rocket punch! ur art is always so smooth n yummy n i wanna shove it into my mouth like taffy (pov i have the impulse control of a toddler)

@echarie: your assigned song is orbit by jonghyun! your bllk takes are so big brained (like u deadass predicted lorenzo being a major character before any of us did, and im excited to see what role drago might play!), and i love hearing ur input!

@daiseukiis: my pick for you is eve, psyche, and bluebeard's wife by lesserafim! it's the "it girl" song, the boss bitch song, the hot girl summer song if u will :3c keep doing ur thing and slaying, cuz we love to see it!

@00fabulous/@doki-doki-imagines: your song is love on the floor by nct! our dms are . A HOT MESS so to say, and it's uncanny how well our thoughts match up HAHAHA it's real genius to genius (read: clown to clown) communication up in this bitch

last but not least @ayushipop: my sharty bae, my babagrill, my mark to my lee <3 your song is irreplaceable by nct! it'd be illegal of me to give u any other song after ive heard u going apeshit over teehee go drown oingo boingo in a vat of water for me <3 hope u get unbanned from twt soon and have a safe trip <3

if i missed anyone, pls dont take it personally! as u can tell, this was a longass list, so im bound to accidentally let a few people fall thru the cracks 🤡

[childotkw]

Can we have a snippet for 'dichotomy of loyalty' AU, Jordan? Pretty please?🥺

Sure thing, darlings 😉

--- -- --- -- ---

Aemond took one step into the room and was immediately on the defensive. He dodged the attack, moving smoothly to avoid the swipe, and then twisted again so the follow-up missed him by a mile.

He grabbed that thin wrist, wrenching his assailant off his feet and spinning in a tight circle to slam him into the wall.

Luke cried out, both in pain and anger, and Aemond's blood was singing.

He stepped closer, flattening the younger man against the wall and pinning his hands beside his head. "Drop it," he ordered.

"Fuck off!"

Aemond took great pleasure in pulling Luke's right arm forward and then ramming it back into the wall with enough force to rattle the shelf above them.

His nephew hissed but clung to his makeshift weapon all the more desperately. Aemond took a moment to appreciate that strength, and then began to squeeze. He could feel the delicate bones in Luke's wrist shift under the pressure, until finally he shouted out and let go.

Aemond instantly released some of the tension, and quickly darted his eye down to see what Luke had attacked him with. It was a shard of glass, the end wrapped in a bit of fabric to provide some protection - and despite everything he felt a tiny spark of admiration.

"Did you break the mirror in the bathroom?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Luke's silence was petulant, and he had to chuckle.

"You know," he murmured, leaning in closer just to make this brazen boy squirm, "the last time you came at me with something sharp, I lost an eye."

He expected a flinch, or a glimmer of unease, or even just confusion given Luke's unfortunate lack of memory of the incident.

Instead he got fire.

"I wish I'd fucking blinded you fully, you son of a bitch!" Luke thrashed in his hold, nearly clocking Aemond's chin with his head when he thrust it forward. "Let me go!"

Maybe he should have seen it coming, but the weeks he had spent getting to know this older version of his nephew, seeing the gentle way he handled his patients and the genuine kindness he seemed to radiate, he'd forgotten the savagery that had been there in their childhood.

Foolish of him, really.

"Calm down, nephew," Aemond told him, then jammed his knee into Luke's side, soft enough to not damage him but still wind him.

"I'm not your nephew, Aemond," Luke coughed, slumping back with a grimace. "I didn't even know you a month ago."

And somehow it was that reminder, more than anything, that infuriated him the most. "You are and you did," Aemond insisted. "You were taken from us, but you're home now, and soon you'll learn."

"This isn't my home and you aren't my family," Luke snapped. "You're all delusional. You kidnapped me."

"We took you back," Aemond said, his ire cooling rapidly, replaced with a small thread of wonder at that truth. Years and years of not knowing, of questions and fear and sheer anger at Laenor's audacity, and yet here they were.

Luke and Aemond, face-to-face and with the sharp edge of a makeshift blade on the ground between them.

Like nothing had changed.