#I'm almost done with classes for this semester... my freedom is so so near...

[paperstarwriters]

Muriel with a face full of kisses

Just saw someone else do this for a different character lmao but like, it just SCREAMED our lovely ol' Muri lmao <3

Just crawling into his lap while he's reading a book or just sitting by the fire, taking his face into your hands, cradling his cheeks in your palms as you lean up and spatter his face with kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss.

He's startled, confused, and red as a tomato, sputtering half words as you keep kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. His hands are raised, startled at the intrusion, but when they finally settle, it's to pull you closer, even while he's still trying to ask you what the heck you're doing. All it takes, however, is a kiss to his lips, longer than the rest, held against him like a finger asking to be quiet. Only your request, is matched, with the gentle little lick of your tongue, testing the waters of how much both you and he were willing to go for this kiss, as well as teasing and taunting your so dearly beloved.

And one of those hands cradling you close slips up to catch you by the neck, pressing you close and keeping you from escaping as he all too eagerly reciprocates. Kissing you in the way you know he loves to do, swapping between tiny needy licks at your lips and chaste kisses that he's so so eager to dole out.

If at any point you push away from him, he'll release you willingly, staring at you with droopy almost dazed eyes, awestruck and lovestruck smiling, faint but warm, like the sunbeams of a dying sun slipping between the trees. It'll take him a moment before he remembers to ask, too busy basking in the warmth of your affection. Keeping his arms tight around you, cuddling in your shared embrace. Hell, he might never ask, honestly, thinking that his chance to has long since passed, or that he would rather not run the risk of making you hesitate to do that again.

Maybe one day he'll ask. If you haven't graced him with another session of sporadic kisses all over his face. He'll ask you why you did it in the first place, after asking of course if you even remembered doing it at all.

and maybe you'd tell him that he just looked like he needed some kisses, or that he was so so pretty by the firelight that you couldn't help yourself. Or maybe you'll just shrug and say you did it on a whim. And a look will cross his face, all too familiar to you as he hesitates to ask.

You however, beat him to the punch, reaching up on your tip toes, to cup his cheeks and guide him down to you, spattering his face with your affection once more, much to his quiet delight, visible only in the way you can feel his lips twitch upwards as you kiss the corners over and over again; at the feel of his arms snaking to hold you tight against him, lifting you up so he can enjoy your kisses without giving his back a hard time, and the way he reciprocates, at every chance he gets, trying to catch up and futility drowning in all the kisses you give him.

Be warned, though, the moment you lean away. The moment you give him an opening, this former gladiator turned soft hermit would seize any opportunity he's given, and be quick to enact his affectionate revenge all over your face and neck. Kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss.

And when he meets your lips again, he'll whisper a soft confession, drowned out by the wind rustling through the trees, drowned out by birdsong and animal chatter, drowned out by the rushing river not too far away.

Simple words, that only you would ever be able to hear.

"I love you."

[certifiedbitch777]

The Concept of Intention

Entry Date: 2/12/2024 2:52pm

Today is Monday, and I'm supposed to be working right now, but everything in my body was fighting me from doing so. I did what I thought was best and called out, and god, am I glad.

I hate my job. I hate corporate culture, but I'm stuck here since this is the only thing that allows me to pay my bills. I would love to just write for a living. I don't care if it's to be an author, creative writer for a magazine, songwriter, or poet - I want any and all of it. It brings me peace.

These past days of trying to break bad habits and being consistent have made me deeply introspect. All I've been pondering is my purpose and what I want my life to look like, and I just end up back in the same spot. 

I want the freedom to express myself. I want the ability to carve out my own daily schedule and to follow the beat of my own drum. I want to be authentic. I want to be happy.

I just want to be happy.

In the world that we currently live in, it almost seems as if those in power are doing their best to prevent this from happening, but it's all I crave. I do my best to find joy in the little things, but it's just not in my nature to settle for crumbs when I know I can and deserve much more.

Over the past 5 years, what I wanted to do and be in life has changed dramatically. I honestly feel like I choose and hyper-focus on a vocation every 2 to 3 months. If I'm being honest, in each sprint, whichever career path I chose was never due to my genuine interest in them. It was all due to social, family, and financial expectations and pressure. 

My interest in all things linked to healthcare and technology was due to my family saying that it would be a reliable source of income. 'There will always be jobs for nurses or cybersecurity.' 'It would be a steady flow of income.' Obviously, my studying in those things lasted only a short time. My reason for indulging in it wasn't sustainable.

I also majored in Psychology for about 2 semesters in college. I actually really love the concept of psychology. The complexity of the human psyche completely fascinates. As much as I loved taking classes on it, I eventually dropped out of college due to my school requiring my broke ass to pay out of pocket because I failed 1 class :|. I was devastated, but a part of me always knew I wouldn't stick with it for long since school was never for me despite my academic success in my younger years. For background, I dropped out in 10th grade and got my GED shortly after my 18th birthday without studying :).

Between all of this exploring, I worked in various retail and warehouse jobs. Honestly, I quit those jobs at the drop of a hat because the pay would never match the stress. One thing I did enjoy was the amount of free time I had. The schedule was flexible, and I could get a lot done in a day or week since I sometimes did double shifts to have more days off. As much as the scheduling for the job was compatible with my dream life, the pay and terrible benefits nowhere near offset the latter.

Last but not least, I currently work at a top corporate company. I got in due to an apprenticeship, and they offered me a full-time offer. I will forever be grateful for that, as I was sure I would be fucked as both a high school and college dropout. They've provided me with stability I could only dream of, along with excellent benefits. However, what makes me not willing to settle for this is the lack of work-life balance I have. I work at least 6 days a week and over 12 hours most days. I have no life, happiness, or drive for anything anymore. It's as if I had to sell and exchange my soul for this life. And now I live the life of a corporate zombie with my world being filled with black and white instead of vibrant colors.

Why am I giving all this context of all my different career changes? Because I was never genuinely intentional with each path I explored. As a result, nothing worked out the way I thought it would. 

I've been applying to random jobs with mid to high salaries for over 2 years now, and I've gotten a rejection for every single one. Although that could be a result of how terrible the job market is, the way I view it, it didn't work out for a reason. It wasn't meant for me, and I only applied to them for superficial reasons, not because I was genuinely interested in them.

I want to be more intentional in everything I do in this life. Whether it's the food I eat, how I present myself, my morals and values, or even the line of work I want to pursue. I want to be the best version of me and only me. 

This is why I want to write for a living. It's been a common denominator in my life since I was as young as 5. I've always loved writing. Whether it was storytelling, music, or even something as simple as journaling, I felt aligned with what I was supposed to be doing. Even when I am blogging to absolutely nobody, I feel happy. I feel fulfilled spreading my truth no matter how ugly or beautiful.

The concept of intentional living was spoken about long before my mother was born. I thought I was doing so, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I challenge and hope that anyone who comes across this post begins the journey of self that will lead to a life of fulfillment.

[ginhawatranslations]

The Story of Unit 24-C - Chapter 3

Read the previous chapters here.

TITIG BY JANINE TEÑOSO AND MC EINSTEIN

I hurriedly ran and searched for our room. I wiped my sweat first before knocking.

"Hello, Sir, may I come in?" I asked. When he nodded as a go signal to enter, I walked to Valeen’s side and sat down.

"Where have you been?" Valeen asked.

"I had to finish checking some test papers for Miss Cheska, I didn't notice the time," I admitted as I took out my iPad to catch up on note-taking. "Has a lot been discussed?" I asked.

While I was checking, Miss Cheska was also telling me stories about her funny Engineering students, which made me enjoy the checking process too much.

"You're lucky, Sir Ramos just arrived too, so the class is just starting." I sighed in relief. I focused on the discussion about Culinary Nutrition. It’s a major subject this semester, so failing it would be a disaster.

For the whole three-hour discussion, I lost count of how many times I fought off sleepiness. Damn, at first, I was really eager to learn, but as time passed, Sir Ramos' voice started sounding like a lullaby in my ears. Well, I knew I wasn’t the only one because even Jaypee got special mention for letting out a loud yawn in class.

"Okay, we will have an activity by pairs, and you need to submit the output to me next week." I quietly groaned at Sir Ramos' sudden assignment. "I will give you the freedom to choose your partner. You need to discuss the primary reason for undernourishment and malnutrition here in the Philippines. You will also provide your insights on how malnutrition can be combated in the country. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir," we responded, though not in unison.

As soon as Sir Ramos left, the class became chaotic as everyone searched for a partner. I looked at Valeen, and she smiled back at me.

"Should we pair up?" I asked.

"I'm already partnering with Jaypee," she replied, and my smile disappeared.

"Damn, I thought your smile actually meant something," I said, shaking my head.

"I wanted to be your partner, but I owe Jaypee because he paid for our meal at McDonald's last time. That idiot has been guilt-tripping me, so now we're partners," she explained.

I scanned the room, looking for someone to partner with. My eyes landed on Eya, and she waved at me. I smiled back.

"Do you have a partner already?" she mouthed. I pointed at myself to make sure she was really talking to me. She chuckled and nodded.

"Not yet," I replied in a whisper, but she could read my lips.

She pointed at herself, then at me. "Partner? Do you want to?" she asked. She grabbed her bag and walked toward me. "We look so dumb whispering like this."

"Exactly," I said, laughing. "If it's okay with you to have me as your partner. I just thought you might already have someone from your circle of friends." After all, Eya was undeniably beautiful, so many guys would probably want to partner with her.

"None, you idiot," she laughed softly. "We're partners now."

**********

The past few days, Eya and I have been spending more time together because of the assignment Sir Ramos gave us. She is really fun to be with, and she contributes a lot of input. Slowly, I'm starting to enjoy her company.

"Kelvin, aren't you coming with us? Jaypee and I are heading to the library to research for our assignment," Valeen invited me.

"I'm meeting Eya at Starbucks near the school. We're almost done with the assignment anyway," I informed her while packing my things.

Valeen smirked teasingly, and I shook my head. "Damn, what kind of smile is that?"

"Nothing." She walked beside me. "It just seems like you and Eya have been enjoying going out together lately. Are you guys dating? Is there something happening between you two that I should look forward to in the coming weeks?" She bombarded me with questions.

"Idiot, your mind is going too far. We’re just together because of the assignment." We sat on an empty bench near our department with Jaypee. "And she’s fun to be with. I won’t deny that."

"And she’s beautiful. Think about it - out of all the guys in our class, you’re the only one she actually has long conversations with," Jaypee added, fueling the teasing.

"You guys are so annoying. We are just friends...for now." They both grinned and teased me even more. "I mean, I’m not closing any possibilities. But right now, I just enjoy our company. I’m the guy, so it's up to me if I want to pursue something more than friendship."

"Kelvin, if I were you, I'd make a move fast because a lot of guys like Eya," Valeen warned.

Our conversation was cut short when I received a text from Eya.

From: Eya

Hello, Kelvs. I'm already at Starbucks. Do you have a drink in mind? I'll order now so we can start the assignment as soon as you arrive.

To: Eya Just hot chocolate for me.

I adjusted my bag and stood up. "I'll go ahead, Eya's waiting for me."

The two teased me again as I walked away, but I just shook my head. Honestly, Eya is a really nice person, and I can see that if she ever gets into a relationship, she’d be caring and loyal.

When I arrived at Starbucks, she texted me that she was on the second floor. I quickly looked for her and found her sitting by the window, looking out at España.

"Have you been here long?" I asked as I sat across from her. She was wearing a white crop top and high-waisted jeans, layered with a red jacket that suited her outfit well. One thing was for sure - she knew how to style herself.

"No, I just got our order from downstairs," she said before sipping her Caramel Macchiato. "You're not a coffee person?" she asked.

I glanced at my drink. "Ah, I don’t drink coffee in the afternoon or evening. I have a low caffeine tolerance, and if I drink coffee now, I definitely won’t be able to sleep later," I explained. She nodded in understanding. "How much was this? I'll pay you back."

"No, this is on me."

"I insist." I took out my wallet and grabbed some cash.

"Do what you want," she said playfully and laughed a little. "But I won’t accept it. You already paid for our food last time. It’s my turn today."

I sighed and shook my head. "Fine, but next time, it's my treat," I assured her.

We chatted for a few minutes before finally focusing on our assignment, which was the original reason for our meet-up.

**********

We exchanged insights, and I can say that Eya isn't just beautiful - her words have substance, and all of her ideas make sense. Well, considering she's the daughter of a businessman, it makes sense that she had broad knowledge of the topic.

"So, as a possible solution to combat malnutrition, we should provide affordable food with high nutritional value. Most of those who experience hunger are from the marginalized sector, so we need to ensure that the food we list fits their budget," I explained to her, and she nodded in agreement.

"I agree with this one. I'll do some research on it tonight and send it to you. Who’s making the PowerPoint, by the way? Me or you?" she asked me.

"I'll do it. I don’t have anything to do in the unit anyway. It'll keep me occupied," I replied. Up to now, my roommate and I haven’t talked. We were like idiots treating each other as if we were invisible.

But he was rarely in the unit anyway. It seems like he only comes home to sleep and then leaves again. That works for me! It was like I had the unit to myself, with just a bedspacer around.

"Alright, but if you need assistance, just chat or text me. We can have a screen-sharing session so we can finish the PowerPoint faster," she said before looking at her phone. "Sorry, Kelvin, I have to go. I have plans." She put her iPad into her tote bag.

I quickly finished the chocolate drink I ordered. "I'll walk out with you."

"I'm just across the street. I'll book a Grab," she informed me.

"Then I'll wait for you to book a Grab before I head back to the condo. It’s just one jeepney ride away for me," I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder as we walked out of Starbucks.

We stood next to each other while waiting for her Grab. I kept glancing at Eya and shaking my head with a smile. Damn, I came to Manila to study, not to flirt.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked curiously. "You look crazy."

"Nothing, I just remembered some memes," I said as a red Innova stopped in front of us.

"This is my Grab. Take care on your way home, Kelvs!" she said as she opened the backseat door.

I waved my hand. "Alright, take care. Message me when you get home."

She gave me an okay sign, and I watched her car drive away before walking to the jeepney stop.

"A crush is just a crush, man. Nothing wrong with having a crush. You won’t get distracted just because of that," I muttered to myself. "Damn it, this is dangerous - Eya’s starting to make me smile."

**********

I hopped onto a jeepney heading back to my condo. As soon as I arrived, as usual, my varsity player roommate wasn’t there. I quickly freshened up, cooked some rice, and then headed to the gym to lift weights for a bit.

I usually spend about 45 minutes in the gym since I’m not really trying to bulk up - I just work out to relieve stress and avoid boredom in the condo. Today was arm and chest day, and right after finishing my bench press, I received a text from Eya.

From Eya:

Got home. Thanks for the chit chat at Starbucks! In case you need assistance with the PowerPoint, you can share the file with me so I can edit it too. :)

To Eya:

Got it. Get some rest. :)

After my workout, I bought sisig from a pushcart stand near the condo. There’s a street behind Sun Residences with vendors selling cheap home-cooked meals, street food, and dishes in food carts. Most of the time, I buy food there because cooking is a hassle, especially when I’m eating alone.

I think my idiot roommate assumes I’d cook for him too. He can starve for all I care.

After eating, I changed into my sleepwear and started working on the PowerPoint presentation. I glanced at the time on my phone. "10:45 PM already? That idiot still isn’t home?" I muttered. Well, next week is the start of UAAP, so maybe their training is getting more intense.

I focused on finishing the PowerPoint. From time to time, I rested my eyes when they got too strained from staring at the laptop, which is why it took me a while to finish.

1:04 AM.

My eyes were getting heavy with sleep, and I had yawned multiple times. I couldn’t go to bed yet because I still had three slides left to complete. I also had to be at the university early tomorrow since I’d be proctoring an exam for one of Miss Cheska’s sections. Whatever - I'll leave it up to fate.

I was startled by a loud knock on the unit door.

"Open the door!" a voice yelled rudely.

"Hold on!" I shouted back and locked my laptop before stepping out of my room.

"Are you deaf?! I said open the fucking door!" Based on his tone, the idiot was probably drunk.

"Damn it, I’m coming! Do you need to take a shit or what?" I opened the door and was greeted by Noah’s face. "The way you’re shouting, it’s like you own the whole floor. If the condo management scolds us, I’m reporting you."

He leaned his head against the doorframe, his face flushed from alcohol. He smiled. "Hi, roommate."

"Just come inside already! You’re disturbing me. You have a key to the unit."

"I forgot. I think I left it in my car earlier," he said, stumbling toward the couch. "My head hurts."

I ignored him and was about to head back to my room.

"Hey! Hey! You’re just going to leave me like this?" he whined like he was pitying himself.

"What do you want me to do? Give you a bath?" Why am I even talking to a drunk person?

"That works too. Come on, roommate. I am weak right now," he chuckled, smiling like a baby.

"Idiot," I muttered.

"Tsk. So grumpy," he said, frowning. "At least help me stand up."

"Hey, you managed to throw yourself onto the couch just fine," I said, irritated. Did he think I was his personal assistant? "You’re just drunk, not disabled."

He tried to stand up on his own but couldn’t. I knew how that felt - I had a similar experience when I turned 18 and went out drinking in El Nido.

"I can’t. My body feels so heavy, and I’m so dizzy," he said, annoyed that he couldn't even stand properly. Then he looked at me again. "Can you assist me, roommate? Just this once."

I let out a deep sigh and walked over to him.

"Next time..." I grabbed his arm and tried to lift him. "...only drink what you can handle. Don’t be a burden to others."

He laughed even though nothing was funny. "Thanks, roommate." His grip on me tightened, and his face was suddenly too close to mine.

"H-Hey, what are you doing?"

"I feel like I’m going to-"

He didn’t even finish his sentence before throwing up.

"Son of a bitch!" I cursed loudly as I took in the smell and the disgusting mess he just made all over me.

He passed out on my shoulder while I stood there, horrified by the vomit covering my sleepwear. Damn it, this guy is a walking disaster.

Translator's Notes

Titig is the Tagalog word for stare/staring.

Due to Spanish influence, some Tagalog words have the enye (ñ) letter.

In some Philippine universities the professor, not students move between classrooms.

Kelvin insisted to pay for the meal as Filipino men are expected to pay for dates (even if his meeting with Eya isn't really that.)

Grab is a taxi-booking app partly-owned by the American company Uber.

Sisig is a Filipino dish made from chopped pork and chicken parts, seasoned with calamansi, onions and chili peppers.

We need to warn you, drunk driving is dangerous and is a grave traffic offense. It's surprising Noah wasn't caught as local policemen often check drivers for alcohol consumption at night.