#I'm mean to my beloved trash son | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-obiwan-for-me · 2 years

Text

A master list of just a bunch of Kryzes (and a little bit of other things)

I recently finished “More Than Blood,” the sequel to my ridiculously expansive Obitine AU “She Said the Word.” I may be taking a break from fic writing for a little while, but I’ve been thinking about organizing all my titles into a master list to make finding certain things easier. Below is a full list of all my writing, broke down into AU, characters, and/or ships.

Here’s a key to help streamline the process if you’re looking for a particular thing:

Author’s Favorite = *

BoFenn = ^

Beautiful Trash, aka BoPre = +

Bo being sad about Satine/sad in general = $

My beloved, complicated duo, Bo and Korkie = &

The New Republic/Mandalorian Era Bo/BoDin = %

She Said the Word AU

An alternative universe where, when it is time for Obi-Wan to leave Mandalore as a padawan, Satine says the word- stay. So, he does. And the universe changes, yet stays the time.

I will list these in chronological order as best I can. Since the one shots almost all overlap SSTW, I will include what chapter to read through prior to reading the one shot to avoid spoilers.

She Said the Word (68 chapters, 253,008 words) - In one universe, Jedi padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi is not asked to stay by the love of his life, Duchess Satine Kryze. We all know how that story goes. In another, she said the word. How is the galaxy effected when the great Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi never existed? What does a galaxy torn to pieces look like with family man/consort to the Mandalorian Duchess Obi-Wan Kenobi in it?

Bright Light of a New Day (one shot, 780 words. Best read after Chapter 1) - Obi-Wan Kenobi reflects on the birth of his son. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Let Go (one shot, 3250 words. Best read after Chapter 4) - Anakin Skywalker, just shy of his thirteen birthday, travels to Jedha with Obi-Wan and their guide, Quinlan Vos. While there, Anakin seeks out his kyber crystal for his lightsaber, and learns a valuable lesson.

Everything You Need (one shot, 3783 words. Best read after Chapter 8) - On the cusp of his 13th birthday, Korkie Kryze-Kenobi makes the trip to Jedha to find his kyber crystal. While there, he learns he possesses everything he'll ever really need.

Who Will Keep Me Safe?+ (one shot, 5496 words. This runs concurrently from the time of Obitine’s year on the run through chapter 19. Best read after chapter 19 to avoid spoilers in the main story) - When Bo-Katan is all but abandoned by her Clan in the middle of a war zone, she is taken in by a dangerous group led by a brutal man.

Gone Soft (one shot, 2251 words. Best read after Chapter 30) - Bo-Katan begins to truly appreciate the family she's been missing. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022

Honor Bound^ (one shot, 1327 words. This reads a bit like a flashback and can realistically be read at any point. It will probably hit the hardest if read sometime between Chapters 39 and 45, especially after 45). Bo-Katan Kryze and Fenn Rau face the cruel realities of war and duty, and struggle to come to terms with what it means for their young love.

Orbit* (one shot, 3432 words. This was written as a “deleted scene” and takes place roughly during Chapter 46. It is best either read around that time OR, if you want to avoid spoilers that really aren’t spoilers- you know what’s coming, I'm sure- read it at the end of SSTW, or at least after Chapter 61) - "He was fairly certain he was a satellite trapped in her gravitational pull, his orbit slowly degrading until one day, and soon, he would crash into her, certain to make a mess of them both."

More Than Blood (25 chapters, 143,996 words) - A sequel to “She Said the Word.” Eight years after the actions of Mandalore prompted the end of the Clone Wars; the planet, its people, and the ruling Clan Kryze are learning how to deal with their new role as a prominent voice in the Republic. Thrust into a leadership role in a galaxy wide initiative, while also being everyone's favorite planet to love or hate, has its challenges and benefits, and Clan Kryze must work together to navigate them, all while dealing with the personal trials of a growing and maturing family.

Deep Roots (multi chapter, ongoing) - Post “More Than Blood” anthology of one shots.

Canon(ish) Obitine

A list of one shots written to fit, more or less, into canon, centering around Obitine. These are fics with actual interaction OR the focus is on them and their thoughts for each other. I have a lot of fics tagged Obitine, but they’re really more Satine and Korkie centric.

Turmoil* (871 words) - Obi-Wan Kebobi brings a variety of turmoil into Satine Kryze's life the first time they see each other again after over fifteen years apart. And she's not quite sure what to make of some of it.

A Note (453 words) - Satine Kryze considers how to send Obi-Wan Kenobi some vital news. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Damn Fool (526 words) - Satine Kryze and Obi-Wan Kenobi reflect on their first impressions. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Shared Grief (762 words) - Obi-Wan Kenobi and Satine Kryze reflect after the death of Qui-Gon Jinn. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Just One More (1650 words) - Satine Kryze comes to terms with decisions she needs to make as her year with her Jedi protectors comes to a close. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Pretend (441 words) - Obi-Wan Kenobi and Satine Kryze barely escape with their lives from Pre Vizsla and his Death Watch commandos. Now they take a quiet lull to regroup.

A Moment of Levity (1813 words) - It's been six weeks since Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi left Mandalore with the young Duchess Satine. Tired of listening to his apprentice and the Duchess bicker, Qui-Gon sends them off to enjoy the latest village's summer festival.

Damn That Man (2164 words) - When Duchess Satine Kryze finds out that Obi-wan Kenobi is in fact NOT dead, despite having attended his funeral, she is left feeling angered and betrayed. Will she and Obi-wan be able to move past the lies forced on those closest to him for the sake of his mission? (Fun fact: this is my first ever attempt to write Satine and got me hooked on her).

Canon(ish) Satine

Here is where to find one shots of Satine without Obi-Wan trying to hog her limelight. Some have significant undertones of Obitine (some less so, but I think it’s hard to be Satine and not have him at the back of your mind, even a little). A lot are focused on her and Korkie.

Life Without Regret (1133 words) - Satine has no regrets in how she is changing Mandalore for the better. But that doesn't mean she is without regret. Written for Satine Week 2022

Two Martinis (196 words) - A young Satine attends her first senate gala on Coruscant with a trusted friend. Written for Satine Week 2022

Peace For The Children* (1254 words) - Two moments in Satine Kryze's life bookend why peace and pacifism are vital parts of her ideology. Written for Satine Week 2022

Water the Seeds of Hope*$ (1424 words) - A short biography of the late Duchess Satine Kryze is published anonymously in the age of the Empire, and risks watering the seeds of rebellion on Mandalore and the galaxy at large. Written for Satine Week 2022

Ner Ad’ika* (605 words) - Satine Kryze prepares Korkie for his long trip away from her and reflects on what it means for them to be family. Written for Obitine Week 2021

Reunion* (1072 words) - Satine Kryze welcomes her adopted baby boy into her home. Companion piece to “Ner Ad’ika” and written for Obitine Week 2021

Canon(ish) Bo-Katan

Writing Bo-Katan, particularly TCW and post TCW Bo-Katan, is a particular favorite pastime of mine. I am enthralled by her complicated nature and the trauma, grief, and anger that motivate her, especially in the Empire era. There are some fairly rough, traumatic moments in some of these fics, so I will note when tags should be carefully minded. Most of these are one shots, save for one.

Recite My Regrets* (880 words) - Claiming the Darksaber forces Bo-Katan to face her many mistakes, and how they all tie back to the ancient weapon.

Bait^& (3 chapters, 7257 words) - Mandalore is lost, and along with it, Bo-Katan Kryze and Fenn Rau. OR, how a silly crack headcanon on why Bo-Katan seems to never age turned into a serious and angsty fic.

Yet still there is hope*& (1266 words) - In the wake of destroying the Empire's killer weapon, the Duchess, and accepting the darksaber, Bo-Katan receives two very unexpected pieces of news. (Note: this truly is a particular favorite of mine and just now re-reading it made me cry. Again).

Clan of Two& (1538 words) - Bo-Katan and Korkie sort through their emotions together in the aftermath of Duchess Satine's death.

Intention*&^$ (1469 words) - Shortly after taking up the Darksaber, in the middle of a bloody battle, Bo-Katan Kryze faces a decision she had hoped not to face.

Weak+ (1550 words) - Bo-Katan Kryze will do a lot of terrible things for Death Watch, but she finds a line she just can't cross. And worries she may pay the ultimate price when she refuses to cross it. Mind the tags.

Sisters’ Lament*$^& (1929 words) - Bo-Katan finds herself thrown right back into her grief and guilt over Satine's death when she and Fenn Rau stumble across yet another insensitively named weapon.

Gamble+ (558 words) - Two small moments in Bo-Katan and Pre's complex relationship.

Promises, Promises$ (1636 words) - Bo-Katan is always amazed at her sister's willingness to forgive. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022

Bite your tongue until you bleed+ (1256 words) - On the eve of storming Nal Hutta, Bo-Katan voices her concerns with the path Death Watch is taking. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022. Mind the tags.

The Stories Our Scars Tell*^$ (1512 words) - Bo-Katan has many scars- on her body and heart. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022

No Matter What$& (1935 words) - Birthday wishes from Bo-Katan to Satine. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022

Hopes Up*^+ (3167 words) - The chances of Bo-Katan getting pregnant are low, but never zero. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022. Mind the tags.

Jealous+ (1374 words) - Bo-Katan contends with emotions she doesn't quite fully understand in her relationship with Pre Vizsla.

Keeping Company with Ghosts$% (1908 words) - After too many years of death and destruction, the weight of Bo-Katan's grief, guilt, and anger send her into self exile in her family's ancestral home.

Dormant$% (1894 words) - After meeting the strange little child accompanying the Mandalorian in too shiny beskar, Bo-Katan reflects on paths not taken.

Worthy$% (9436 words) - Bo-Katan seeks out Din Djarin and Grogu after they abruptly leave Mandalore.

Other Things

A handful of fics that either don’t quite fit anywhere above because of the perspective they’re told from, or they are just completely different.

Burn Bright* (1198 words) - Leia takes a moment to herself to reflect on her loss after the destruction of the Death Star.

Best Kept Secret& (1383 words) - Korkie Kryze takes a moment to reflect on one of the galaxy's best kept secrets. Written for Bo-Katan Week 2022

Liability+ (1768 words) - Pre Vizsla is a practiced hand at knowing just what to say to each of the Kryze sisters to keep them just where he wants them.

Blame the Jedi (1173 words) - When chaos ensues after the arrival of the Jedi to Mandalore, Captain Tol'ket isn't sure he wants the man around the Duchess. Written for Obitine Week 2021

What Must Be Done (unfinished AU long fic) - Duchess Satine Kryze survives Maul's attack and witnesses the rise of the Empire while once again rebuilding her home, this time with the help of her long lost sister, and the son that she calls "nephew." Along the way, she meets an unlikely ally of sorts, and finds herself questioning everything in the name of Mandalore's preservation.

56 notes · View notes

nityarawal · 15 hours

Text

9/21/2024

Orphan States

(DEAD-NAMING; NOT A PROBATE)

Morning Songs

Are You From California

The Orphan State

Or New York

Stolen From Paris

By Jewish Parents

Are You From Another

Universe

My Beloved Orphan

You Belong

Forty Thousand

Bartered And Sold

Annually

In California

Attys Couldn't Get

Enough

Forty Thousand

Bought And Sold

California Has A

Gluttony

They Want Our

Babies

They Want Our

Moms

Got A Fuzzy Bunny

From The Universe

And It Says No

Robert Presley Detention

Center

We're Filling Up

With Fluff

Mommies Caged

After Gay Rapes

Starved For Wholesome

Love

Diana Zeppeda Was Kicked

Around

Like A Chihuahua

Naked

A Dyke Cop Poked

Out Her Glass Eye

Ball

Diana Was Trafficked

In Prison

Whilst Her Kids

Were Raped

Groomed By

Gays

Incest

She Got Conjugal

Visits

Every Weekend

From Her Abuser

X Husband

Kicked Around

Naked In

An Apartment

For Court

Amber Got Raped

In A U-Haul

By A Gay Officer's

Son

She Bloated To Over 300

Pounds

On Big Pharma

Serving

As A Jail Maid

Trying To Go Home

To Her Marijuana

Farm

A Jewish Teacher

Lost Her Baes

To A Principal

Only Toddlers

We're They Invitros

Did He Have Buyers

Remorse

In Trans Gender Affirming

Terrorism

Like So Many

Attys In Divorce

Court

We Couldn't Believe

My X Got A Pound

Of Meth

Fed Exed

But Trans Vampires

Will Seduce The Best

Of Them

A Slave For Beyul

Club

Chris Attwood

Christopher Stapleton

And Christopher

Sunnen

What's With

Defaming The Chris

Club

Christopher Gannon

Chris Lord

Chris Hall

Chrissy Dear Heart

My Marine

Bro

In Braids

You Gonna Trans

Widow Me

Already

'Cuz I'm Not A

Probate

Chrissy In French

Braids

Did You Get A

Marine Job

Feeling Like A Big

Man

On Your Own

Marijuana Farm

Chrissy I Saved

You From Fires

Prayed On My

Past Birthday

Visits

Chrissy I Saved

You From Fires

All You Heathens

Trashed My Family

For Princess

Bribes

Chrissy I Saved

You From Fires

I Went Skiing

Chrissy How Could

You Get The

Dyke Discrimination Dammers To

Terrorise Me

Chrissy I Had

Your Back

After The Cage

Chrissy You Sold

Out The Likes

Of Me

Chrissy You Tried

To Sabbotage

The Sisterhood

Chrissy The Girls

Spoke

And Will Be Free

Chrissy

You Broke My

Heart

Baptizing Sunil

In Your Boys' Club

With Stirling Bros

Chrissy

These Attys Gotta'

Be Put To Rest

Chrissy

Get The "T"

Back In Your Name

Chrissy

We Mean It

Christopher

Where's The

Christ

Chrissy Get The

"T" Back In

Your Name

Please

Chrissy Get The Tea

Back For Us

Today

Peace

Chrissy Let's

Go To Nitsa Pizza

Chrissy

Send Hollie

Isha June

And Whomever

You've Dead

Named In My

Family

With Anjali

And Put The Seance

To Rest

The Dojo Failed

At Best

Put The Doje

To Rest

Rapes Are No

Tribute

"O" It Out

And Refund

Moms First

And Foremost

For The Ultimate

Karmic Love

Refund Moms

First And Foremost

Leave Britney

Spears Dad's Legs

Alone

Refund Moms

First And Foremost

Stop Substituting

Heroines

Like Melinda Gates

With Tranny

Ghosts

No Bargains

No Pleas

No Deals

With Ella Emhoff On

Her Knees

No Bargains

No Deals

The Pope And

I Demand

Cease

Fire Please

Sunil Christopher

Rawal

Catholics

Leave Our Families

Alone

From UK

To Encinitas

Alan Silverman

And Whomever

You've Deadnmamed

With The Cohen

Clan

Release Us

Merci

Peace And Love Eternal,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

Encinitasbeachhome.com

0 notes

xojaxoffxo · 15 days

Text

Ugh I'm so pissed!

My bf (who I'm living with now) finally admitted last night that he can't actually afford to take care of me and I need to go back to full time (I work part time). And I was sitting there like yeah I've known this since you got here. Pisses me the fuck off cuz he swore up and down that he'd take care of me. That he could afford to take over the bills and I could be a stay at home girlfriend for a while. And I don't trust him worth a lick and I genuinely enjoy working, so I still got myself a part time. The secret third reason was cuz he was in the middle of letting me down big time and I didn't want to admit it.

Basically, sure, yeah I sound like a spoiled brat, but like I kinda earned like six months off of working my ass off. I've been running fucking hard since January, taking care of my grandmother and working so much over time. I enjoyed the work so it was fine, but like from the end of January to May, I have been barely sleeping, working as much as I possibly could, running back and forth from the central valley to the bay damn near daily, cleaning someone else's house, attending doctors appointments, dealing with actual grief because I thought I was watching my grandmother die, and still maintaining a household. And then in May, I took a month off of work and moved back to my grandmother's to be her live in maid caretaker. All while dealing with her violent alcoholic asshole of a son and micromanaging the most self centered Lowkey egotistical jackass of a boyfriend. While still trying to manage something of a social life, advance my position at my job, and manage my poor mental health and shit finances.

So I stayed with her from May to July and it was absolutely awful. First I got laid off from my beloved job (company went under). Then my uncle started attacking me. Then my boyfriend got kicked out. And then my grandmother and uncle started literally withholding food. I fallen behind on bills. That fucker literally choked me out and the police didn't believe me. Then the bitch literally kicked me out! I don't have a car, I'm working in the bay, and I live an hour away. But it gets better! She kicked my brother out too!

So now I'm responsible for 23 year old legally blind brother who just isn't getting his shit together and my 28 year old lame ass boyfriend who's fucking damn near addicted to videogames and making me feel insignificant. And I can't kick my brother out cuz he doesn't have anywhere to go and I feel guilty thinking about it and I can't kick my jerk of a partner out because I cant afford to support myself without him. So I'm trapped. I'm perpetually trapped! I work my ass off, dig myself out of the fucking tar pit, and turn around and find out I'm in a different one!

Ugh and it still gets worse. My guy planned to move in with me in May, right? But he didn't have a car at the time and he didn't get one until after I went home and was struggling and unable to pay rent and at risk of being kicked out. He only did that because I put my foot down that I didn't want anything to do with him until he got a car. And I'm the one who fucking found the car too!!! So this mother fucker basically told me that yeah our relationship is trash but like I really love you and I want to be with you and we can make this work and I know you're stuck in a really dangerous situation and you're scared and I promise you that when I get a car I'll come save you. And I actually fucking believed him.

He fucking said he was going to save me. And I've met a man who said that before and he didn't save me either. If anything, my ex ruined me. And I'm the fucking idiot who believed both jackasses and I'm so mad at myself. I know that there isn't a damn person out there who legit is gonna say that and mean it. And I know you gotta save yourself too. Im a fiercely independent woman, I just was crumbling. I needed someone in my corner and it just isn't a thing I get. And that's fine. I just am tired.

But like everything is a fucking fight. My guy lies all the fucking time. He ignores me all the time. He makes it so clear that he's rarely interested in anything I wanna do. My brother literally keeps interrupting sex. My libido and reproductive system is wack, so I'm like extra emotional lately. Every little thing that goes wrong just goes the worst way wrong. I'm constantly tasked with running the house and caring for everyone. I'm constantly being brushed aside and hurt. The sex is 15% great, 75% pretty mid (I mean it gets the job done), and 10% awful. And that's not including the amount of times my brother will hear us screwing around (we're on different floors so it's not like it's intentional) and then just sit out there until we're done and he can come into my room or just keep fucking walking down the stairs while we're scrambling to get dressed.

Ah and the lying is ridiculous! Like I'm not kidding, for like three months, the man said he was gonna buy a car when he got paid, but when the two weeks were up and money got dumped into his account, he didn't have anything! But he was screwing around buying crap for everyone else. I literally called him crying because the drunk choked me out and the cops did not fucking care and he said actually I won't be able to buy a car this check. And I don't know, call me stupid, call me lame, whatever it's true. But like I barely see a fucking man when I look at him. He has never once put me first and actually protected me. Let his best friend and cousin talk all kinds of crap, saying im toxic and mean and all that shit when they're fucking cheating on each other! And I call him freaked out in the middle of the night and I get nothing but voicemail and he doesn't understand why I'm pissed and hurt. Dude can't even remember my birthday! He gave me an unsigned card for our anniversary and pissed all his money off the literal week before and then just was like welp. That one hurt bad. I literally made him something by hand and I had skipped meals and buying groceries so I could buy the supplies to make it. I put so much work into it and hurt myself in the process, and he bought every last minute and you could tell. Like the dude literally just handed me a card and said I was gonna sign it but I didn't think you'd care. And our two year is next month! Fuck no I'm not doing anything. I just don't care anymore. And tonight we go out cuz I need to buy supplies for work, and were talking about something, and he cuts me off in the middle of my paragraph, and starts talking about something else. It rightfully pissed me the fuck off! We've been fighting all week about his treatment of me, and then Wednesday he does this really cool sweet thing and I let the anger go. Like a dumbass. Anyways, we're in the car and he damn near gets in a wreck and when I obviously panic and tell him, he fucking snaps and yells at me! And I must admit, I snapped and I laid into him. I am usually really good about not being mean, but I just ripped the bandaid off and yelled back. I told him I'm sick of how he treats me and I'm not a fucking dog! He can't treat me like this! I am so fucking sick of it! Every fucking time I need him to be a fucking adult, he hurts me or pisses me off! Ahhh he brings out the worst in me, I swear.

And this fucker wants me to call him Daddy! Two fucking years and I'm still having to struggle to get him to choke me properly! Half the time he slaps me, my teeth click together! And my teeth have about $14k worth of damage and somewhat regularly send me to the ER. Anal should not hurt that much. Where's the restraints he keeps promising??? I got a ring gag a year ago and we used it once and he fucking hated it. Does not understand CNC. Not to mention how shit he is about my sexual abuse past and hangups. Like I wanted hardcore fucking and I literally have had that like once and I miss it. I'm so sick of shitty doms and people who use, especially for sex. My brain is literally broken. I got fucking molested and groomed and now I measure myself worth in how much pleasure I can give someone and I use sex as a way to self harm a lot more than I care to admit.

I have zero social life now. And I am working probably a better job, but it's not making me enough currently and my heart just isn't in it. I haven't seen my girls since maybe July? I'm not sure. Maybe June? And all my other friends, I dont see anymore cuz I'm constantly running around taking care of everyone else and we don't work together anymore. And I've never really been the person who people like call 🤷🏼‍♀️ I keep getting UTIs cuz I'm running so hard I legit forget to eat, sleep and even pee. And I'm tired. I was actually really looking forward to resting. I didn't want to be some princess. I just wanted time to rest. I can feel that I'm overdue for an attempt and I don't have health insurance and I cant just check myself into a 72 hour hold or even get medicated at the moment. I'm just tired. I could sleep for days if someone let me.

I just wanted to be loved, man. I'm at the point where I just don't care anymore. It's not fucking fun to follow after anyone anymore. I just wanna erase all the dating and sex and abuse and just be normal for a change.

#unsexy #personal #im trapped #im tryna figure it out #i just wanna go home but there isnt a home to go to

1 note · View note

theharpermovieblog · 1 year

Text

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2023

I re-watched Clash Of The Titans (1981)

In 2010 they made an unremarkable, unmemorable remake of this film, full of bland CGI effects. Fuck that movie. Here's the original 1981 version.

Perseus, son of Zeus and a mortal woman, must defeat mythical monsters and the satyr Calibos in order to marry his beloved Andromeda.

Ray Harryhausen's stop motion special effects are an endlessly interesting piece of talent and film history. Dated in some respects, but full of the charm and wonderment that fantasy cinema is all about. That's why, when you ask me why I prefer the old version of this film to the newer soulless CGI laden trash heap, the answer is simply, because I like film not budgets and technology.

The 1981 version of Clash Of The Titans is the last flicker of an era of films, most of which involved Ray Harryhausen's effects. Films about classical myths and fables, Gods and Goddesses, a hero's journey and lots of claymation monsters. The best of these films are usually considered to be The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts. The former coming out in 1958 and the latter in 1963. That means Clash of the Titans is, on average, twenty years older than both films. But, despite it's '81 release, Titans has more in common with those older films than anything made in its era. Making it dated in style.

It's actually beautiful to see stop motion so heavily used in the 1980's. It was certainly still used in films at the time, but not in the heavy way it is here. What's so fantastic to me about it's use here, is that it still works so well. Yes, it's not all perfect and it's obviously fake, but I'd argue it's just somehow more magical than CGI is ever going to be. It's incredibly human and beautifully flawed.

It's 2023 and we're all still so glad to see a director of any film use practical effects over CGI, because seeing the work that went into something and the winking trickery on screen is part of the fun.

(I wanna be clear that CGI does have its place and that I do see it as an artform, so don't come at me lol. But, it's overuse over every other time tested style, is ruining filmmaking a bit.)

Clash of the Titans isn't perfect. You could blame the original myth for that. Greek and Roman mythology isn't exactly deeply written and is more about life lessons and spectacle than character growth or development. But, this fact doesn't really distract from my ability to enjoy this movie. I'm here for the pompous stage style acting, the story or heroes and monsters, those fun special effects. I'm here because I love Ray Harryhausen's work and believe he should be celebrated for what he gave to cinema. I'm here because I love movies.

I honestly don't know how you could not like this one, unless you really hate cheesy fun movies.

There's a really great cast, fine direction, some interesting sets and shots, good pacing, Maggie Smith looking pretty hot, etc...

Watch this with your kids, and if your kids don't like it, get new kids.

0 notes

lettersofsky · 6 years

Text

Never Gonna Be Alone

I finally finished this thing for @pttucker for ‘Fandom Trumps Hate 2018′! Woo! They wanted some Post AC/DoC SFW Genesis and Cloud stuff so I hope you enjoy how this turned out! I’m very mean to my beloved trash son here, he doesn’t deserve it probably.

Fandom: FFVII Post-DoC Characters: Genesis Rhapsodos, Cloud Strife, Weiss the Immaculate, Tifa Lockhart | Pre-Strifesodos Warnings: Angst, Disease and Off-Screen Minor Character Death

Enjoy!

Ko-Fi/Tip Jar

Weiss was dying.

Worse; Weiss was dying and there was nothing Genesis could do about it.

Where was the magical aptitude he’d built his entire identity around? The abilities that had earned him his place as a Commander of SOLDIER, able to stand next to the great General Sephiroth?

He couldn’t even summon a simple flame to his hand, something he’d been able to do with ease since he’d been a child in Banora, given his first bit of Materia by an unapproved-of uncle. What a disgrace he was!

The fact that Midgar was a deserted ruin only made the situation worse; they were alone in this wreck of a city, no one around to help them. And the nearest bit of civilisation was miles away, too far for Genesis to move Weiss, not that he felt safe to; Midgar may have been destroyed but that didn’t mean that Shinra had been too.

Genesis was sure that the company would not be happy to see him again. And he didn’t want to chance either of them being captured once again; Shinra had never been kind to those that they believed had wronged them, he doubted that whatever had occurred here had changed that attitude.

But Weiss was only getting worse as the days passed; Genesis was quickly running out of time if he wanted to save this brother. He needed to do something, he was quickly running out of options.

Weiss started coughing again, the rasping, rattling sound breaking Genesis from his thoughts. Turning his gaze towards where he had settled the other, a nest of old, tattered blankets and pillows on an old mattress he’d found amongst the nearby ruins, he’d elevated the sleeping man’s head once the coughing had started, fearing he would end up choking himself on phlegm while Genesis was away.

The sounds were too much for Genesis to stand and he fled their shelter, escaping into the ruins until even his enhanced hearing couldn’t hear the hacking any more.

He didn’t know where he had ended up; the destroyed city was too similar, the topmost plate had dropped onto the slums, leaving nothing but indistinguishable rubble surrounding him. The only way to properly navigate Midgar now was from the air, else one was reduced to wandering aimlessly through the once great city, senses trained on your surroundings to avoid being ambushed by the monsters that now roamed here.

He took a few moments to simply breath, filling his lungs with the scent of rust, dust and decay, slowly forcing himself to calm down from the panic that had driven him from their shelter. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to be so influenced by his own uselessness, enough so that the mere sound of coughing had caused him to flee their place of safety.

He really had become useless hadn’t he?

The muted sounds of monsters fighting somewhere in the ruins reached his ears, soft, distant noises floating on the breeze and grabbing his attention. He welcomed the distraction, focusing on the far-off sounds, most likely monsters fighting over some newly-discovered scrap of food.

He froze suddenly when a foreign sound reached his ears, the telltale sounds of sparking lightning. His wing materialized within a moment and he shot himself into the air, turning towards the sounds of combat some distance away.

He recognized the sounds of Thundaga anywhere; someone else was within the ruins of Midgar.

Lightning singed the air a few miles away from where Genesis hovered and he turned towards it immediately, covering the distance within a few moments and diving down towards the figure standing alone amongst the remains of a battle. He dropped onto the stranger, sending them both to the ground, his chest heaved with his laboured breath, hope and anxiety warring in his chest as he lifted his head to meet the other’s gaze.

The sight of glowing mako-blue eyes nearly brought tears to his eyes; a SOLDIER! Could he get anymore unlucky? The man under him would surely inform Shinra of his presence ehre, leading to an inevitable capture…

But Weiss needed help and Genesis just couldn’t do it.

“Help me,” he begged, voice scratchy and hoarse from disuse, having not spoken to anyone other than Weiss’ unconscious form for quite some time. He tightened his grip on the man’s jacket, forcing himself to continue speaking despite the shame that threatened to choke him. “Please, help me. He’s sick and I can’t -” his voice cut off, the words suddenly becoming stuck in his throat. He swallowed heavily, forcing the words out. “And I can’t do anything!”

Then there was quiet, the stranger just stared up at him with wide blue eyes. He grit his teeth, frustration and wounded pride combining to create wetness in his eyes, moisture he desperately tried, and failed, to hold back.

Oh, how he had fallen. Reduced to tears and begging a stranger, someone who was most definitely beneath him. His parents would have been so disappointed in him, but then again, when weren’t they?

He had been about to open his mouth and say something more, beg the other once again, but the man stopped him, a single word freezing him in place.

“Ok.”

What? No, it, it couldn’t have been that easy… There was no way it was that easy!

But, he couldn’t afford to second-guess the kindness offered to him, not when Weiss needed it.

“Thank you,” he breathed, lifting himself from the other’s chest and standing on shaky legs. The stranger followed, standing shorter than any SOLDIER Genesis had ever seen, even shorter than he himself was barefoot; Shinra certainly must have been desperate after the mass desertion if they had diverged so much from their preferred body type.

He let the stranger pick up his oversized weapon, at least Shinra kept that particular stereotype, before he moved, wing appearing in a flurry of ruffled and damaged feathers as he grasped the man’s sword harness tightly, lifting them both into the air. The stranger shouted, a shocked, panicked sound, his instincts causing him to struggle in Genesis’ grasp as he lifted them further from the stability of the solid ground below. His struggles quickly turned to white knuckles fisted in the tattered remains of Genesis’ clothing, holding onto him for dear life as he turned towards where he and Weiss had taken shelter.

The SOLDIER’s panic would only aid them in remaining safe, if he was too focused on keeping a hold of Genesis to memorize their surroundings then he wouldn’t be able to lead others back to them.

They landed at the rubble that acted as his shelter only a few minutes later, the stranger dropped to his knees, spiky blond hair falling into his face as he took several deep breaths, relieved and disorientated. Genesis allowed him a moment to compose himself before grabbing him once more and dragging him bodily into the barely standing makeshift shelter, into the muggy heat trapped by the twisted metal and concrete.

Weiss had thankfully stopped coughing while Genesis had been away though his breathing was still laboured and uneven, chest heaving as he struggled to get air into his lungs. Each breath was audible in Genesis’ ears, a continuous rattling that set his nerves on edge.

He stopped them both once they were inside, jerking the SOLDIER to a halt before releasing him, continuing to Weiss’ side on his own. He knelt next to the nest of pillows and blankets he’d left his brother on, sweeping limp, filthy white hair away from his face, forcing his frayed nerves into compliance before addressing the stranger.

“He’s been like this for weeks,” he informed the man behind him, voice low and hollow. “And he’s only been getting worse. I, I can’t do anything to help.”

There was silence, the sound of Weiss’ breathing providing an unsettling backdrop to the tension slowly growing with Genesis. He didn’t know what he would do it the man refused him now, he sincerely doubted anyone else would be foolish enough to wander into the ruins and that was only if the blond didn’t report them to Shinra

“I’ll see what I can do,” the SOLDIER promised, approaching them hesitantly and seating himself directly across from Genesis. He could see the subtle glow of materia under the other’s clothing and could taste the Cure being cast over Weiss’ form, mingling with his brother’s energies to encourage his body to heal.

His eyes remained focused upon his brother’s form, watching the magic seep into his skin and spread out inside of him, the tendrils of soft green reminding him of his own healing several years previous.

He relaxed, a deep sigh of relief leaving his mouth as Weiss’ breathing began to even out and the horrid noises he was making ceased, leaving the man between them breathing easier than he had since DEEPGROUND fell. He could still sense that the other wasn’t completely healed but the stranger had done something for him, which was far more than Genesis had been able to manage.

“I can’t do much more here,” the quiet voice broke Genesis from his thoughts, causing him to turn his gaze away from the easy rise and fall of his brother’s chest to the man across from him. The blond was watching him with soft blue eyes, imploring with Genesis to see how sincere he was being. “He needs to be taken to Edge, at least to get away from here.”

“What is ‘Edge’?” He asked instead of answering the man’s veiled question, it had the added bonus of giving him a moment to quell the panic that threatened to rise in his own throat at the suggestion. He knew that Weiss needed more than he could provide him here, he needed actual food and someone that could heal him; things that the ruins, that Genesis, lacked.

“It’s the settlement of Midgar’s survivors,” the other explained calmly, seemingly unfazed by the fact that Genesis didn’t know that little bit of most likely obvious knowledge. “It’s a few miles from here, but I can have a friend bring a truck around in about two maybe three hours? If they ignore the speed limit.”

“There’s no speed limit in the wastes,” Genesis mused weakly, barely paying attention to what he was saying as his own thoughts consumed his attention. There were so many things that could go wrong for them if he allowed the SOLDIER to take them to this ‘Edge’; they could be captured, they could be separated, they could be executed. But Weiss was guaranteed to continued to deteriorate if he didn’t get the help he needed, help he could only get if he took the chance the man offered.

He heard the surprised chuckle from the other man but he missed most of what came after, only focusing back on his voice as he finished speaking. “ -hing like that.” Genesis blinked slowly, emerging from the haze of his thoughts, giving the other what he could only assume was a blank, unimpressed look, par for the course with him really. “Right. Well… Do you want me to call them? Or would you rather stay here?”

“I do,” he answered steadily, forcing himself to remain calm and focused. It would not help Weiss if he panicked, it would not help him if he panicked, panicking was the worst thing he could do in this scenario. He just needed to get his brother help, he could figure things out from there, but first; “what has become of Shinra?”

He needed to know, to prepare as best as he could.

“Pretty much gone,” the other answered, pulling out his PHS and manipulating it until he opened his contacts, or so Genesis assumed. “There’s Rufus and four Turks left now. But they’re not really effective at much of anything anymore, the WRO keeps him in check.”

“That is good to hear,” he replied, the words acknowledged but not responded to. The stranger moved away from him and Weiss to make his call, though Genesis could hear him as clearly as if he were standing next to him. Rufus had never been impressive and Genesis was confident in his ability to dispose of four Turks, even without being able to use Matiera.

They’d both be fine. If Weiss was able to pull through whatever was affecting him.

He kept an ear on the PHS conversation going on a few feet from them, ensuring that the other was trying anything despite evidence pointing towards the contrary. Whoever the SOLDIER, well ex-SOLDIER if Shinra truly wasn’t a thing anymore, was speaking to called him Cloud, presumably a nickname if not his actual one; he couldn’t judge if it was, his own name was rather exotic.

Weiss’ breath stuttered in his chest, drawing his attention back to the unconscious form lying before him. He reached out and shifted the pillows behind his brother’s head so he was propped up a bit more, hoping to alleviate whatever was causing the difficulties in Weiss breathing.

Cloud had helped quite a bit but Weiss was still ailing, he’d only deteriorate even more if they remained. Leaving was the best option for them, was the best option was Weiss. He couldn’t doom his brother simply because he was worried about the last vestiges of Shinra or this new organisation ‘the WRO’, that would be selfish of him, and he’d already hurt too many he cared about with his selfishness.

Cloud returned to them soon after, having finished his call and alerted his friend to needing their assistance. He dropped down across from Genesis once again, inspecting Weiss as he addressed him. “A friend’s coming with her truck,” he said, materia starting to glow as he swept it over Weiss’ form once again. “We’ll need to get him out of the city and somewhere she’ll be able to find us.”

“Of course,” taking Weiss from the safety of their shelter filled him with trepidation, anything could happen to him out there and there was no guarantee that he’d he safe out there. “It’ll be difficult to carry the both of you.”

“You don’t need to carry the both of us,” Cloud suggested softly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye. “We should be able to carry him out between the two of us.”

“No, we’re far too deep into the city,” he stated, shaking his head in a sharp jerk. They were miles away from the edge of the ruins; they’d have to go too far in order to get somewhere Cloud’s friend could reach them, around mountains of rubble and past numerous monster nests. The way would be near impossible if they had to carry Weiss’ dead weight between them.

“It’ll be too far to fly with the two of us.” Cloud insisted, turning to face him full on.

“You underestimate me,” he scoffed, mind already racing with figuring out the best way to carry both Cloud and Weiss while he was in the air. He’d have to hold onto Weiss to ensure he didn’t fall, but Cloud would be able to keep a hold of him in the air so he didn’t have to worry about the SOLDIER meeting an untimely end viat dropping from a great height onto the rubble below. “I’m far superior to your expectations.”

His words caused Cloud to chuckle, a deep, pleasant sound that resonated in Genesis’ ears. It’d been so long since he’d heard such a sound, even longer since he’d been the cause of it, there hadn’t been much of a reason for laughter when he had been on the run from Shinra and dying from Degradation.

“Just, don’t get us killed, then.” The amused words drew Genesis from his thoughts and back to the situation at hand. Cloud’s laughter lit up his face, brightening his eyes immensely and soothing something in Genesis’ chest; it was all too similar to when his SOLDIERs had accepted hi hair-brain schemes in order to achieve victory over a seemingly unbeatable enemy.

It was beyond reassuring, achingly familiar in a way he hadn’t realized he’d missed.

“I will do my best not to,” he responded, making himself sound as confident and unaffected as he could. He lifted himself to a crouch, sliding his arms securely under his brother’s form before standing to his full height, cradling the heavy, unconscious body against himself. “You’ll have to hold onto my back, unfortunately.”

Cloud nodded, noticeably nervous at the notion, but trusting him and his abilities all the same. He followed him out of the shelter, into the open air of the ruined city surrounding them.

From there it was just a moment’s pause for his large, hideous, double-jointed wing to emerge from his shoulder with a single strong beat, the feathers fluffing under Cloud’s heavy gaze. He wasn’t used to his wing being inspected so intently, he’d never given it more than a second’s glance and knew that anyone else who’d seen it was only able to bare a moment’s look before becoming sickened by the sight of the monstrous limb.

“Up you go,” he coaxed, crouching enough for the other to climb upon his back. His wing extended, the muscles stretching until the limb was spread nearly flat, as he waited for Cloud to move.

The first touch against his shoulder was obvious in how hesitant it was, barely there at first but slowly growing more confident as Genesis remained still under his touch. Cloud was soon pressed to his back, though clear of his wing so it could move unencumbered, clinging to him tightly with his knees against Genesis’ waist and arms crossed over his chest. He lifted himself to his full standing height once Cloud was holding him securely, feeling the other tighten his grip as he shifted.

“Ok,” Cloud said, the words brushing against Genesis’ ear and nearly causing him to shiver. He contained himself though, this was neither the time nor the place for him to focus upon the man clinging to his back. “I think we’re ready to go.”

“Good,” Genesis said, wing beating at the air a number of times as he prepared himself to take to the air. “Hold on tightly,” he reminded the other, tightening his own grip around Weiss where he cradled him safely to his chest.

Cloud may have said something, but Genesis didn’t hear him as he took to the sky with a leap and a final strong beat of his wing. The rush of wind covered all sounds other than that of his inhuman limb cutting through the air, muscles working in tandem to keep them airborne.

He turned back towards where he had discovered Cloud fighting the monster, hoping to find the vehicle the other had travelled to Midgar upon, believing that to be as good a place to wait for the other’s friend to arrive. It was a quick journey, his wind easily carrying them over from their shelter towards the remains of the battlefield.

He touched down upon the lightning scorched ground a few moments later, wing folding in on itself as he landed in a crouch. Cloud stepped onto the ground heavily, stumbling a few steps as he put a bit of distance between himself and Genesis. He ignored the sting of disappointment at the action, focusing instead on dismissing his wing as he stood ot his full height.

Weiss groaned within his grasp, the first real response he’d gotten from him in a number of weeks, and shifted within his hold. He shifted his hold on his brother to ensure that he didn’t drop him, keeping his hold tight and secure until Weiss settled.

He relaxed once Weiss had finished moving, turning towards Cloud, who was watching them with a concerned expression of his own. “My bike’s this way,” he informed him, gesturing towards an area where the rubble and ruin opened up to the dead, empty wastes.

Genesis nodded, following Cloud out of the destroyed city for the first time, emerging from the dust and rust into the fresh, open air. Cloud’s bike rested, untouched, mere feet from where they stood, a large, looming display of sleek, grey metal.

The wastes around them were still as dead as they had been when Midgar had been whole and complete, the Reactor’s impact lingering even after they’d been destroyed. The drab, emptiness allowed him to see for miles, and the beginning of civilisation that Cloud had called ‘Edge’.

“And now we wait,” Genesis muttered, striding forward until he could set Weiss down next to the bike, propping him up against the vehicle. He swept filthy, dirt-stained white hair away from the other’s forehead, watching the gentle rise and fall of the other’s chest.

“Now we wait,” Cloud parroted, joining him at the bike. He could feel the man’s gaze upon him, but kept his own on his brother, needing to reassure himself that the other was alright. “Is there, something I can call you?”

That stunned him for a moment, his eyes snapping to meet Cloud’s own. How, didn’t he know him? He had been one of Shinra First Class SOLDIERs, standing next to Sephiroth, how didn’t the younger know who he was?! Had Shinra swept him under the rug like all their other failures? Wiped him from existence and records so they didn’t have to admit as to what had occured?!

He forced himself to take a deep breath, not wanting to jeopardize Weiss’ health by snapping at Cloud in his anger and frustration. “My name’s Genesis,” he answered, voice void of emotion. “Genesis Rhapsodos.”

“Genesis?” Cloud repeated, sounding out the name on his tongue. His anger dulled at the sound of his on the younger’s tongue, enjoying it perhaps a bit more than he should have. “That sounds, familiar.”

“It should,” he forced emotion back into his voice, clearing his throat a bit. “I was one of the best of SOLDIER, once.”

“I’m sorry,” the apology caught Genesis off guard, more so how genuine it sounded and Cloud’s slumped posture. “I, can’t remember much before four years ago.”

Oh, well that explained why Cloud didn’t know him. “Mako Poisoning?” He asked softly, remembering a number of his own SOLDIERs who’d suffered similar side effects from their own treatments. It had been a sad fate, losing years of memories, some had even been left as fresh slates, missing their entire lives and having to build from the bottom up once again.

“Something like that,” Cloud’s eyes dropped away form his own, lips tightening into a thin line and arms crossing tightly across his chest.

Genesis nodded silently, letting the subject drop as it was obviously making Cloud uncomfortable. Instead he searched his thoughts for another topic, not wanting to pass the long wait in silence and waste his first opportunity to speak with someone since he’d awakened. Questioning what had actually occurred within Midgar to put it in such a state, seemed too big for the current point of time, so he settled for something a bit easier.

“What happened to SOLDIER? To the rest of us?”

Cloud relaxed, but not very much, shoulders slumping as the smallest amount of tension drained from his frame. “SOLDIER disbanded when Shinra did,” he said, shifting awkwardly on his feet. “What was left mostly scattered to the winds, trying to find somewhere new to belong.”

“”But, not you?” The words had escaped him before he could stop himself, curiosity over the man who had decided to help them beating out his self-control. He decided to continue with his tactless question, having already given it voice. “Why did you remain in Edge?”

“I’ve got a reason,” Cloud answered, avoiding the question as Genesis thought he would. Silence passed between them, an extended moment of nothing before Cloud decided to break the silence with a question of his own. “What about you? Why were you two in Midgar?”

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he admitted softly, the words quiet and barely audible. “It was the safest option after,” he stopped himself before he could utter that name, aware of the horrors the former prisoners had wrought upon the surface and that there was a definitely possibility that Cloud would not treat them kindly if he knew they were affiliated. “The world has changed since the last time I knew it.”

He felt Cloud’s heavy gaze upon him but the other didn’t respond, remaining a silent presence at his side as they waited.

Cloud must have underestimated his friend’s concern for him when he gave his guess as to how long it would take them to arrive, as a vehicle sped towards them at a breakneck speed less than two tense hours later. A woman exited the truck, obviously a fighter from her defined form and confident stance amongst the monster infested wastes.

Her confidence flickered when she turned her gaze to them, the poorly disguised pity twisting something unpleasant in Genesis’ chest. He didn’t care for her pity, not at all and having it focused upon him rankled his already frayed nerves.

Thankfully, she quickly turned her gaze onto Cloud and addressed him, giving Genesis a moment to collect himself and calm his nerves.

“I got your room ready for them,” she said, though her tone implied that she wasn’t saying everything she wanted to. “It’ll do the job.”

“Good,” Cloud said, standing from where he’d been feeding healing magic into Weiss’ form. “I’ll ride with you, then.”

The woman’s brow furrowed at the words, confirming Genesis’ thought that this was an unusual offer from the blond, but she nodded slowly, choosing not to comment on the odd occurrence. “Alright then,” she said instead, cautiously moving around the truck towards them. “We better get moving then.”

Genesis dropped to his knees next to Weiss’ form before picking up the man and cradling him to his chest, feeling his steady breath fan across his neck as he stood to his full height. The woman was watching him again, gaze trained on how he held his brother to his chest, expression still softer than he wished to acknowledge.

He kept Cloud between the woman and himself; while it was unlikely that she would attack him, it didn’t hurt to be wary of her. Neither commented upon his behaviour if they noticed it and he soon had Weiss in the truck, held securely to his chest and head resting against his shoulder.

Genesis forced himself to take steady, even breaths as he waited for Cloud and his friend to join them. He hated being so enclosed, especially without the use of his magic, he wouldn’t be able to escape the vehicle with Weiss safely if the two did turn against them. But, Weiss needed their help, so he had to trust that they wouldn’t turn against them.

The woman, to his irritation, pitied them, making it more unlikely for her to act on any prior plans to do them harm. And Cloud had only been kind to the two of them, causing his fears to seem even less likely to occur.

His rational and logic didn’t cause his fears to fade though, they lingered and kept him stiff and tense as the two others entered the vehicle and the woman started the engine.

She kept the truck moving at a steady speed, fast though nowhere near the break neck speed she’d used to reach them, keeping her attention focused upon the road before them. Genesis did notice her shooting glances at them in the mirror but didn’t bring attention to it, no, he kept his senses trained on Cloud’s purposefully steady breaths; the other’s breathe was audible in the quiet of the car, deep and even in a way that was obviously unnatural.

It was almost soothing, in a way; the other man was as uncomfortable in this situation as Genesis himself was, though he was certain it was for a different reason than he himself was.

He allowed his mind to quiet itself as the trip continued, letting Cloud’s and Weiss’ breathing consume his senses and blanket his awareness. He was blind to the passing of time and the majority of the journey, only coming back to himself when the sounds of civilisation reached his ears and pulled him from the state he had found himself falling into.

He blinked and the muted noises grew in volume and clarity, filling his ears with the sounds of a thriving town; the indistinguishable sounds of people talking to each other and the rumble of engines a familiar mix of noise after so long without it. He found that he’d missed the sounds of the city, odd, considering he hadn’t missed Banora at all once he left; even now he couldn’t bring himself to feel much in regards to his destroyed hometown.

The truck came to a stop before he could fall too deep into his thoughts, parking in front of a simple two-story building. This, couldn’t have been the new organizations headquarters, he didn’t know where they’d taken them but it wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

Cloud removed himself from the truck within moments of it stopping, taking a few deep breaths before opening the door to the backseat and addressing him. “Do you need help getting him out?”

Genesis swallowed, hands tensing where he’d been holding Weiss to himself. He did need the assistance, as much as he wished otherwise, so he nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

“It’s alright.” Cloud reached into the backseat with steady, gradual movements, allowing Genesis to see and judge each shift as it was made until he could take a hold of Weiss and lift him from the vehicle.

Cloud looked awkward, holding his brother’s much large form in his arms. Weiss’ frame dwarfed Cloud’s own, dwarfed them both really, the image would have been amusing to him in a different time and place.

As it was, he was more concerned with removing himself from the vehicle and taking his brother from the smaller man, holding him securely to his chest.

The woman was already within the building, leaving the door open for their own entry. Genesis followed Cloud inside, senses trained for any abnormal sound and ready to escape if he needed to.

The interior of the building revealed a bar, simple and plain but obviously well maintained. The wooden floor and counter was clean, though they showed signs of wear and tear, reminding him acutely of Gillian’s kitchen and dining room, a place he’d spent a majority of his time during his childhood.

Cloud lead him through the bar towards a set of stairs that lead up to the second story, ushering him into a small sparsely furnished room. Genesis gently lowered Weiss onto the plain sheets before beginning to fidget with the pillows behind his head, elevating his head in an effort to make breathing easier for the unconscious man.

Cloud had entered the room behind him, crossing to the bare desk near the window and opening one of the draws to retrieve something from within. When his hands reemerged holding a few pieces of materia, Genesis found irritation rising in his chest once again. He should have been able to identify exactly what they were especially from this distance, but he was unable to gleam anything from the orbs, even as Cloud drew closer.

Cloud sat himself next to Weiss, placing the materia he had retrieved on the side table by the bed and focusing on the unconscious man. He picked up a green orb and Genesis was forced to stop him before he could feed any energy into the orb, reaching out and grasping the other’s wrist in a tight grip.

“Wait,” he said, holding Cloud still as he forced himself to continue. “What is that?”

Cloud didn’t act like the question was an odd one, just handed him the materia as he answered him. “It’s Heal,” he gestured towards the other piece resting on the table, naming it for him. “I’ve also got my Mastered Cure.”

Genesis nodded, hair shifting to fall into his face as he released Cloud’s wrist and pulled his hand back to his chest. He watched intently as Cloud activated the ‘Heal’, prepared to launch himself at the other if the magic that escaped the materia proved to be anything else.

Thankfully, there wasn’t any need to attack Cloud as the bitter tang of Poisona blanketed his tongue.

He breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing as he watched the noticeable glow from the magic as it covered Weiss’ form. The glow diminished within seconds though, indicating that whatever was afflicting the unconscious man, it wasn’t a poison of any kind.

Next came the sweet-sour zest of Esuna, the magic practically dancing on his taste buds as it was cast. Unfortunately, it lasted as long as the Poisona before it had, leaving Genesis despairing Weiss’ chances to recover.

Cloud’s eyes furrowed in confusion at the results, standing up and grabbing a yellow piece of materia from the desk drawer before returning to the bed. Sense was a subtle citrusy taste, the magic moving over Weiss and hopefully informing Cloud as to what exactly was affecting his brother. The look on the other’s face told him otherwise.

“You can’t tell what’s wrong with him.” Genesis said, the words dull and hollow even to his own ears.

“No.” Cloud agreed, voice dripping with honest guilt and frustration. The man didn’t know what was affecting his brother, and nothing was telling him either, leaving whatever was wrong with him to be something natural.

But that left the question as to what could affect an enhanced person in this way? This wasn’t anything like the Degradation that Genesis had suffered through himself, nor was it anything like what had happened when Angeal began taking on the genes of monsters into himself.

Shinra would have known, but Shinra was dead and gone and even if they weren’t Genesis wouldn’t trust them with his brother’s health. No, as painful as it was to watch Weiss waste away and be unable to do anything to help him, it was far better than handing him over to Shinra and allowing them to do as they wished with him.

Genesis didn’t realize that his form was shaking with ugly, heaving sobs until Cloud’s hand on his arm pulled him from his spiralling thoughts. He was pulled against the other’s chest, ducking his head down to hide the tears that were streaking down his dust and dirt stained face, finally breaking from the sheer overload of the past few weeks.

Cloud remained quiet, letting him grieve against him, until he was leaning against him in exhaustion, utterly drained and slumped against the solid chest in front of him. He tried to steady his breathing from the rapid, rise and fall it had become from his release of emotion, pulling away from Cloud’s chest once he felt he was controlled enough.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, clearing his throat at the roughness of his voice. “Thank you for all you’ve done for us, it means quite a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome,” Cloud offered, looking him over with concerned eyes. “You two can stay as long as you need to, there a shower down the hall if you want it.”

“I believe I’ll have to accept your offer,” Genesis answered after a moment’s pause, turning away from Cloud and picking up Weiss’ limp hand in his own. “But I might wait a bit for that shower.”

“Alright,” Cloud said from behind him, his weight lifting from the mattress. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

He nodded, listening to Cloud leave the room. He kept his gaze focused upon Weiss, mind already racing as he forced himself to come to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t be able to save this brother either.

Eventually, the layers of filth on his skin drove him into the shower, where he spent just enough time to rinse the dirt, dust and stench from his skin and hair before getting out. He was rubbing the water from his skin when he realized that he had nothing else to change into and the very idea of putting on his own clothes was one he didn’t wish to consider, thankfully, a knock at the door saved him from having to make a decision.

“Hey,” it was the woman’s voice that called through the door, soft and quiet. “I’m leaving some things for you out here, ok?”

“Thank you,” he returned, ears now focused upon her movements on the other side of the door. He opened it once he felt she was far enough away, picking up the bundle of clothing and bringing it into the bathroom with him.

They were large on his frame, obviously belonging to a man both taller and broader than Genesis himself was. But, they did the job and he emerged from the bathroom garbed in the items he’d been given, attempting to towel his long, matted hair dry.

As focused as he was on his brother’s unconscious form, he almost missed the fold out bed that had been set up in the middle of the long wall. But he did notice it, along with the pillows and blankets that were folded on top of the frame, waiting for him to use.

They looked to be of good quality, thick, warm and well-made, not something he’d expected to be offered. There was even one folded next to the foot of Weiss’ bed, ready for him to cover his brother with, how kind of them to try to make them comfortable.

He listened to the sounds of life on the lower levels, the sounds of footsteps and of soft, ineligible words as Cloud conversed with his friend. He ducked out of the room again, returning with a wet cloth in the hopes of washing most of the dust and dirt from his brother’s skin before tucking the blanket around him. With that done, he relaxed a bit, allowing himself to take a few breaths and just bask in the calm of the moment.

He didn’t realize that he’d fallen asleep until he awoke hours later, thankfully unmoved from his position by Weiss’ side, the soft taste of Curaga upon his tongue. His head shot up and his gaze landed on Cloud sitting across from him, directing a flow of curative magic over his brother’s form.

He relaxed at the sight of Cloud, turning his gaze to Weiss to see how the magic was affecting him. It wasn’t a good sight, the green glow of the magic painted Weiss’ skin a sickly colour in the light of the dimly lit room and his chest was rising and failing in uneven bursts.

Genesis forcefully turned his attention away from his brother, to the man casting the magic, focusing on him instead. “Evening,” he greeted, voice rough with sleep. “How long was I out?”

“A few hours,” Cloud answered, glancing at him from the corner of his eye. “You looked like you needed it, so I didn’t wake you.”

“How kind,” Genesis muttered, rubbing at the crust that had built up in his eyes. He still felt exhausted, even after his nap, countless days of snatched moments of rest had left him with a bone-deep weariness that wasn’t likely to fade anytime soon. “Truly, it was very kind of you to allow us to rest here.”

“You needed the help,” Cloud explained and Genesis could have sworn he saw colour flush the young man’s cheeks.

“Yes, but many wouldn’t have given it,” Genesis knew that well enough, the world was a cruel and cold place to those that needed kindness. And he was not proud to admit that once, in his most desperate moment, he’d been just as cruel.

“I’ll just be special then,” Cloud said in return, the glow of magic fading from Weiss’ form as Cloud moved to stand. He turned to him with a soft, kind smile, a light sheen of perspiration on his skin. “Try to get a bit more sleep, alright?”

Genesis nodded, watching Cloud leave the room before turning his attention to the fold-out cot he’d been given. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but next to the ground it was as soft as feather-down.

He awoke late the next day, closer to midday than morning, some of his previous exhaustion freed from his form. Weiss was still resting undisturbed, though Genesis noticed that his breathing had changed from its steadiness of the previous night.

It seemed that Weiss was already beginning to deteriorate, despite Cloud’s best attempts otherwise. His heart ached at the realization, falling to the pit of his stomach and remaining there as he continued to stare at the unconscious man, lingering under the comforts of his blanket for a moment.

He lifted himself from the cot, folding it and setting it to the side for later, before pausing, lingering by the other’s beside. He forced himself to continue past the bed and out of the room, cautiously making his way downstairs and towards the soft, muted voices he heard below.

He saw Cloud speaking to his friend at the bar’s counter, steam wafting gently into their faces from the mugs between them. He forced himself to continue moving into the bar proper, keeping himself calm as the woman’s gaze shifted over to his approaching form.

Cloud, following the other’s gaze, turned towards him. Genesis found himself freezing under the other’s gaze for a moment, breath stuttering in his chest in a manner he hadn’t experienced for years. The spell was seemingly broken, though he would need to consider his reaction later, when Cloud offered him a kind smile.

“You’re up,” Cloud stated, turning more fully towards him as his friend placed another mug on the counter before turning to grasp the pot of coffee. “How do you like your coffee?”

He blinked slowly, still slowed from his initial reaction to the other ex-SOLDIER, responding after a moment of stillness. “With milk, no sugar.”

The woman behind Cloud nodded, fixing his mug as he continued to approach them and setting it before him with a soft, welcoming smile of her own. Now that he wasn’t moments away from a panic attack, he noticed that she was indeed a beautiful woman, and the muscles on her frame confirmed her as a fighter.

“You’re looking better today,” she noted, gaze sweeping over him in a searching manner. “I’m glad the rest did you some good.”

“It did,” he agreed, wrapping his hands around the warmth of the mug in front of him, not drinking from it quite yet. He was savouring the heat seeping from the mug to his hands, the comforting heat giving him something to focus on as he conversed with the two. “Thank you…” He trailed off purposefully, reminding them that they had yet to be properly introduced.

“Tifa,” she offered, holding out one of her hands towards him. “Tifa Lockhart.”

“Genesis Rhapsodos,” he returned, shaking her hand within his own. Her fingers was calloused beneath his own, telling him that she was used to working with her hands. She also hadn’t seemed to recognize his name, something he’d have to get used to now; he didn’t doubt that Shinra had done all they could to sweep his existence under the rug like the rest of their mistakes.

“Welcome to Seventh Heaven, Genesis,” her words were genuine in his ears, lacking any lies or hesitations. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.”

“I’ll try not to be a burden upon you,” he replied, practically feeling the contentment coming from Cloud, who’d been standing next to him and listening to their exchange quietly.

Tifa grinned at him, a wide, bright thing that warmed her wine-coloured eyes. “Oh, I’ll make sure of it.” There was promise in her voice and he heard Cloud chuckle beside him, Genesis found himself pleased at the suggestion he’d be put to work; looking forward to distracting himself with whatever task she provided him.

Days passed quickly from there; Tifa kept him occupied and though it wasn’t anything like what he was used to, he appreciated how busy the work kept him and the opportunity to interact with other people again. The civilians were nervous around him but they were also nervous around Cloud, a result, he assumed, of Shinra’s influence. Afterwards, he’d retire to the room he was sharing with Weiss, which turned out to be Cloud’s room, the other was bunking in Tifa’s son’s room while he was traveling with her partner on a trip to his hometown of Corel, and spend some time conversing with Cloud before retiring for the night.

At first, they spoke only of small matters; how Genesis was handling his new occupation and Cloud’s own delivery service, the man’s custom made bike and his very unusual set of swords, which, of course, lead to questions about Genesis’ own peculiar weapon. First Tsurugi and Rapier were beautiful examples of craftsmanship, tailored to fit their individual fighting styles and capitalize on their strengths, though Genesis couldn’t use Rapier properly at the moment due to still being unable to call upon his magic. The late night conversations were a lovely way to avoid thinking about Weiss’ steady decline in health, something that wasn’t likely to change if the doctor Cloud had managed to find was right, and how useless he felt being unable to do anything about it.

But he had something else planned for tonight, he’d been living in Seventh Heaven for a week and felt that he was finally ready to hear about what had happened while he’d been asleep. He wasn’t going to mention anything about what had happened to him, he didn’t want Cloud to think differently of him, but he wanted to know how Midgar fell.

“It’s not the best story,” Cloud warned him, frowning down at the glass in his hands. They were out on the roof, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering they were both drinking, away from the bustle of the open bar and the stench of decay that clung to Weiss’ skin more and more as days passed. “You’re not going to like it.”

“Perhaps not,” he agreed, pressed closer to Cloud’s side than he would have been if he’d been sober. The alcohol in his veins making him bubbly and affectionate, not helped by how long it’d been since he’d been with literally anyone else. “But I wish to hear it, all the same.”

“Ok,” Cloud said, shifting next to him and staring up at the bright stars above them. “We’re gonna be here a while then.”

“Good thing we’ve got more drinks then.”

Cloud snorted, shoulder shaking with his amusement. “You’re right, there,” he said, turning to grin at him. Genesis felt warmth flare in his chest at the expression, returning the grin with a soft smile of his own as he tucked the feeling away for the moment to revisit later.

Cloud was right about his story being a sad one, Genesis almost regretted asking him to tell it, his thoughts ran wild in his mind as he processed everything that Cloud had told him. Seems even his detainment in DEEPGROUND hadn’t stopped him from ruining the world further, and he’d driven his last remaining friend into insanity in his desperation and insanity.

How ironic that he was the one to survive the whole ordeal. It should have been either of the others; they were far more deserving of being here, alive and free to choose what to do with their life now.

Cloud must have noticed the turn his thoughts had taken, as a warm hand landed on his shoulder, turning him to face the other’s concerned expression. “Hey, it’s ok. Let it out if you need to.”

Genesis hadn’t realized there had been tears leaking from his eyes until Cloud’s thumbs brushing them from his cheeks brought attention to them, causing him to drop his gaze from the other’s concerned blue eyes and focus upon the ground below them. Dammit, he hadn’t wanted to dissolve into tears in front of the other, he wasn’t usually such an emotional mess!

But, how else was he supposed to react? Knowing that he was at fault for the death of so many people at the hands of what had become of his friend, that it was his actions that had lead to the horrors that Cloud had had to face the the friend he’d lost to save the world?

He couldn’t give voice to those thoughts, Cloud would certainly hate him if he did and Genesis certainly wouldn’t blame him if he choose to throw both Weiss and himself out on the street. That only added to his distress though, his tears continuing to leak from his eyes in an ugly show of emotion, that Cloud reacted to by winding an arm around his shoulders and drawing him closer to his form until he could rest his chin upon Genesis’ head.

Neither of them spoke afterwards, they simply remained silent as the weight of everything that had happened, and the role he’d played in it, crushed down upon Genesis’ shoulders.

The next week found Genesis back in the wastes of Midgar, perched upon a pile of rubble and staring unseeingly at the death and ruin before him. His mind was eerily silent, a fog had descended upon his thoughts and left him thankfully blank for the moment.

He’d been here for the last hour at the least, ever since his brother had drawn his last pained, laboured breath, the wet, gasping sound echoing in Genesis’ ears. Cloud had tried to ease Weiss’ final few hours but Genesis doubted he’d even been aware enough to know he was free of pain at all, the actions more to ease Genesis’ mind than whatever they did for his brother.

He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten out here, the familiar ache of his shoulder told him he’d flown but he didn’t know if he’d flown straight from Seventh Heaven or if he’d had enough foresight to wait until he’d cleared the city to reveal his inhuman nature. Either way, he was here now, the corpses of the monsters that had thought him fair game littering the surrounding area.

He remained still and unaware until a hand grasped his shoulder, pulling him from his empty haze. He snapped towards the person touching him, focused on nothing else but them, and had his weapon knocked out of his hand as if it was nothing but an afterthought.

His reaction was as instinctive as it had ever been, palm thrusting forward uselessly without the flames that would’ve once curled around it, only to be gripped by a strong hand. He snarled at the man holding him in place, trying to jerk himself free of the other’s grip but finding himself unable too.

He slumped after struggling for a few moments, curling into himself as frustration coiled in his chest. First, he couldn’t save his brother and now he couldn’t even free himself from the hold on him, some First Class he was.

“Let go of me.” He demanded, form trembling now that he’d been pulled from the comforting silence that he’d descended into. He didn’t want to deal with this now, he wanted to not think, he wanted his magic back and, most of all, he wanted to go back to before he’d started to degrade.

He wanted his brother back.

He wanted…

He wanted Angeal and Sephiroth back.

“No.” That was Cloud’s voice, come to his aid like the hero so many thought of him. No wonder he couldn’t break the other’s grip; this was the person who’d defeated Sephiroth, a feat Genesis had tried and failed for years to achieve, he couldn’t match up to that.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He insisted, jerking himself away from the other again and failing once more. He kept his gaze focused below them, adamantly not looking Cloud in the face. He didn’t deserve the other’s attention, nor his kindness, nor after what he’d caused to happen to him.

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Cloud said, causing him to freeze in place. “Nobody deserves that.”

Cloud wouldn’t say that if he knew what he’d done, he wouldn’t. He needed to tell him so it wouldn’t hurt as much as it would when Cloud left him later on, he needed to save himself that small amount of pain. “You’d hate me if you knew what I’d done.”

“I don’t think so,” Cloud disagreed softly, loosening his grip on his arms now that Genesis wasn’t actively trying to attack him. “I think things have been pretty hard for you and that you’re doing your best to keep things together even though you’ve been through a lot, and that you’ve made mistakes, just like everyone else has. I don’t hate you for that.”

“But it’s my fault!” Genesis finally exclaimed, snapping his gaze up to meet Cloud’s warm and forgiving eyes. “All of this! All the lives ruined by Meteor, by Sephiroth, were my fault! I couldn’t help anyone! I couldn’t even save my brothers!”

“I know.” That froze Genesis to the core; those two quiet, confident words were too much for him to comprehend.

Cloud knew?

How did he know? How long had he known?

How could he still stand to be around him if he knew?

“Tifa remembers you,” Cloud explained, shoulder moving in a shrug. “She told me about what happened at the Reactor and the rest filled in on its own, I’ve known everything since the night I met you.”

Genesis shook his head weakly, not knowing how to react to the fact that Cloud had known everything and still wanted to spend time around him, still felt some kind of affection towards him if the previous few days were anything to go by. It was too good to be true, he didn’t deserve it.

“Then why…?”

“Because we both deserve to be happy after everything that’s happened to us.” Cloud answered, filling in the blank of his trailed off question. “And I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

“How noble,” Genesis muttered, the words wet and heavy. He slumped against Cloud, all his energies drained from the day. There were things he needed to do back at Edge but for now, he was tired and wanted to rest.

He’d let Cloud support him while he needed it.

Ko-Fi/Tip Jar

#FFVII #Genesis Rhapsodos #cloud strife #Pre-Strofesodos #Fandom Trumps Hate 2018 #pttucker #Angst #Post DoC #TW: Minor Character Death #tw: disease #I'm mean to my beloved trash son #Hope you all enjoy!#This took me a long time to finish #And it's finally done!#Lacking in Magical Might #Skyee Writes

15 notes · View notes

johannestevans · 2 years

Text

Update 24/05/2022

Good evening!

I've been pretty chill this week, just working through a lot of old serials and cross-posting things, and also finishing up an Our Flag Means Death fanfic!

Alongside my original work I'll also be participating in the Our Flag Means Death Big Bang, which is a challenge for fan artists and fan writers to match up and work together on a longer-length project! Definitely check it out, and sign-ups for artists are still open, so you can definitely jump in.

Media Recs

Spontaneous (2020, dir. Brian Duffield) - Okay, don't let the posters for this put you off, because it's actually surprisingly good and heart-felt, and I really appreciated the humour in this. It is a cishet love story and the two MCs are both pale blond people, which is obviously a turn-off, but for all that, it's weird and kooky and genuinely funny. There's an epidemic in a small US town where high schoolers keep exploding with not explanation and no known cause. It's about teenage trauma and survivors' guilt, broadly, and it's very ridiculous and OTT.

Newark, Newark (2022, written and cr. Nathan Foad, dir. Amanda Blue) - I've been meaning to watch this for a little while because it's created by Nathan Foad, who plays Lucius Spriggs in Our Flag Means Death, and I love it, and I hate it. Everyone in this is so cringe and so terrible and so horny, 5 stars for the show and 5 extra stars just for Foad, I hate him, this is excruciating viewing, I will probably rewatch it many times, it's excellent.

New Amsterdam (2018--) - A friend of mine repeatedly recommended this to me and I resisted because none of the main cast are hot, but now I'm actually watching it and it's, infuriatingly, really quite watchable. It's basically about a doctor at a big New York hospital who's attempting to introduce "socialised medicine" (Yanks) despite working under a for-profit system, and it's fun and easy. I will say that the writing is not irregularly saccharine, and it's very much an attempt at a utopia where there's almost always an easy fix at the end of the episode (in one episode, for example, two parents have to divorce so that the mother can apply for the cost of their son's medications as a single mother, and they're serious Catholics, so at the end of the episode to set their son's mind at ease a cardinal literally is like "this divorce is okay, the Pope says it's cool"), but if, like me, you like nonsense soaps like these to watch in the background, New Amsterdam fits the bill, and it does good character work that's a lot more consistent than my other beloved trash show, Chicago Med. No Oliver Platt though, so lose a mark for that.

Bulat Blues (2019, Daniel Kahn & Vanya Zhuk) - This isn't a new album, I've just been relistening to it a lot the past few weeks and it's really good - Daniel Kahn is a favourite artist of mine, and he does a lot of Klezmer and other Jewish folk music; Bulat Blues adapts a lot of the music of Bulat Okudzhava and translates to English with a little of the original Russian still in, and it's good.

New Works Published

Erotic Short: Piercings

A man plays with his trans boyfriend’s nipple piercings.

Rated E, 350w. Nipple piercings and vaginal sex.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Tentacles

Tentacles in a hot spring! Rated E, cis M/tentacles, 450w.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Super

Rated E, cis M/M, breeding kink and dirty talk with anal. 500w.

On Medium / / On Patreon

TweetFic: At Sea

An anxious Irishman catastrophises and a much calmer sailor soothes him... somewhat.

Read on Twitter

Our Flag Means Death Fanfic: Sink In

Rated E, 500w, Blackhands. Piss kink. Ed pulls Izzy onto his knees and puts him to work.

On Ao3

Our Flag Means Death Fanfic: Communicating Want

75k, complete. Rated E. Gen with Frenchie/Izzy, Izzy/Lucius; background Blackbonnet, Lucius/Pete, Oluwande/Jim. Izzy's just so buttoned-up, how is Lucius supposed to resist the urge to seduce him? It doesn't go well.

Playing with both the crossover of genre conventions between Stede's universe and Izzy and Ed's original one, but basically doing a deep dive into trauma response and navigating complex relationships between the crew and Izzy when Izzy is forced into a position where he has to share revealing and intimate things about himself. Lots of focus on the aftermath of abuse and trauma, playing with freeze responses and the way the different crewmembers navigate all this.

Read on Ao3

#weekly summary #our flag means death

7 notes · View notes

takaraphoenix · 2 years

Note

Pjo for the fandom asks

Thanks for playing! <3

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with: Nico di Angelo! When the movie was first announced, I got curious and went onto the wikipedia page of the books and read the name "Nico di Angelo, son of Hades" and went "that's the one, that's the character I'm gonna love"

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: none

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Leo/Percy

my ultimate favorite character™: Nico and Percy, both

prettiest character: hard in a franchise without much visual aid, so I'd go with movie!Clarisse

my most hated character: Gabe?

my OTP: Nico/Percy

my NOTP: Percy/Annabeth

favorite episode: uuuh let's say that means "book" so I'd go with "Battle of the Labyrinth"

saddest death: Charles and Silena both made me cry A Lot

favorite season: let's say that means "series" so I'd go with "Percy Jackson and the Olympians"

least favorite season: "Trials of Apollo", it's so bad I'm not even gonna touch it at all :D"""

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: got nothing

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: OCTAVIAN MY BELOVED TRASH SON

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: ALL OF THEM NONE DESERVED TO BE IN HEROES OF OLYMPUS THEY DESERVE BETTER

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: I got none. Like, I love my ships, they don't make me want to "cleanse my soul" that is such a weird way of thinking about a ship, I don't need to love it "despite" the nasty and wrong. The nasty and wrong is what makes it intriguing? xD

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Grover/Juniper probably like yeah I'll bring up that he's dating her but I've never gone outta my way to give them a plotline either

#PJOverse #Fandom Ask Game #send me asks

11 notes · View notes

youllgetawayeventualy · 4 years

Text

We All Owe Britney Spears An Apology:

"2007 belonged to Britney Spears. The year that saw the world's most famous singer get pushed from her pedestal with a throng of thirsty paparazzi waiting below. That year, against Britney's will, her personal life became public property. We were welcomed into the life of an icon on a downwards spiral without her permission; asked to comment on it, make up our mind on whether the world's most beloved pop star was worth saving... If we were to take everything fed to us by tabloid media at the time at face value, we would be led to believe that she was a victim of her own making - brought down by her actions rather than the ones of those who stalked her every move."

"Spears has come to represent something - something important enough that it keeps rearing its head. As has been pointed out, she emobides the disdain in which this culture holds its young women; the desire to sexualize and spoil them while young, and to degrade and punish them as they get older... What happened to Spears this weekend (VMA 2007) was actually pretty hard to watch - a gross example of exactly how much malicious satisfaction we get out of the embarrassing weakness of an addictive, postpartum, out-of-control mess of a human being... She was hired by MTV to attract viewers eager to see her make an ass of herself... Sarah silverman took the stage after the performance, she sated the public's appetite for girl on girl evisceration, unfunnily identifying Spears as a 25 year old who's "already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life," calling her sons "the most adorable mistakes you ever will see,"... It was spectacularly painful, mostly because it violated one of the rules of dirty mean comedy: don't shared your talons on the weak. Imagine Spears' having come off a stage where she had been invited to humiliate herself only to hear a crowd roar in whooping, derisive appreciation for the woman narrating her breakdown... Spears, it seems, two children and five years of self abuse later, no longer pleases the public with her house glass shape... Sure, she looked better in a bikini than probably 98 percent of the Americans sitting on their couches and howling at her, but she was no longer porn star perfect"

"Pushed into show business by a striving mom, molded into a confusing vamp-virgin and told to sing songs about being hit while wearing a schoolgirl outfit... Offered no moral structure or opportunity to build a personality of her own... A victim of grotesque class expectations that chucked her back into the cheetos-and-trucker-hats ghetto as swiftly as erotic expectations plucked her from it"

"Just what this world needs is another trailer trash baby from a trailer trash mama"

"Oops, did she do it again? Reproduce that is"

"Sympathy is lacking from most conversations about Britney's body, babies, and mothering. Also missing is responsible discussion of possible mental illness, emotional distress, medication side-effects, or that Britney might have needed help."

"I noticed her hair was gone. I remember asking here, 'why do you shave your head?'" She replied "It was, you know, 'I just don't want anybody, anybody touching my head. I don't want anyone touching my hair. I'm sick of people touching my hair.'"

"Britney Spears was a symbol for her entire public life. And, even in her seclusion, we can’t stop seeing her as something more, and less, than simply a person... life, as teen-pop blank slate or isolated object of devotion, would be a lot for any person to have endured. Both in one lifetime makes Spears both a fascinating living document of how our culture treats those we purport to love, and a deeply sad case."

"She managed, for just about one second, to embody every contradictory message about female worth out there - wholesome, but sexy, but pure, but dirty, but "girl next door," but glamorous - and we venerated her for it. Then she slipped up, and we took great joy in tearing her to pieces. See? She's actually having sex now! See? Her innocence was an act! Look! The girl we encouraged to be an unthinking, largely unspeaking body didn't turn out to be a nuclear scientist! My God! Her body is capable of gaining weight! SHAME, SHAME. At a certain point, Britney Spears lost her worth, in the public eye. When she had children, gained weight, lost the fascination of the new. When she became a grown-up; when she became publicly known as a flawed, suffering person instead of a cartoon; when she stopped pretending to be a fantasy."

#Britney spears #Britney #free britney #Britney 2007 #2007 #Vma 2007 #Gimmie more #Mental health #post partum depression #Addiction #Framing Britney spears

146 notes · View notes

veliseraptor · 3 years

Note

Top 5 villains!

oh lord but my entire villain sectional??? how am I supposed to choose, they're all my children and I love them very very much okay I guess I'll just go with... "currently, as of today, but don't worry my villain beloveds I love you all very much"

also going to limit this to one per fandom because it makes it somewhat easier for me

1. Xue Yang. if this wasn't obvious by now I don't know what to tell you. adopted within about five seconds of his first CQL appearance and I just keep getting worse

2. He Xuan. BEEF!!! He Xuan in TGCF and the Black Water Arc was like. boy!! didn't see that coming but thanks for coming for my entire fucking life. I love a vengeance-obsessed, extremely patient, meticulous planner who ends up putting vengeance above other relationships but finds that...not entirely satisfying. Just...the climax of the Black Water Arc is so good for me and I'm never going to be over it. good fucking shit.

3. Loki. Haven't been talking about this boy as much but I've left my header on my blog the same for a reason and it's because I Still Love Him. a mess and a half in so many various ways, and especially the way so much of his story (in both comics and tbh the MCU) has to do with narrative and being tied up in narrative and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, and performative villainy, and. Look I wrote a lot of Loki fic for a reason, is all I'm saying, there's a lot to dig into there.

4. Maeglin. Waffled between Maeglin and Celegorm for this one as my two main antagonist squeezes from The Silmarillion but ended up with my trash son because he's more straightforwardly a "villain" I'd say, and he is my treasure because he is a disaster and also just like...doomed. So fucking doomed. I mean, same with most everyone in the Silmarillion but there's something particularly miserable and tragic to me about the way in which Maeglin's fall happens and I will always have feelings about it, and about him, and about my feelings on his relationships with both Aredhel and Idril and how those relationships are connected to each other.

5. honestly this was hard picking a last one because I was like Catra/Medea/Clytemnestra/Morgana but ultimately I think I'm going to go with Clytemnestra for the purposes of this list because she is the one I wrote an impassioned 10 page academic essay about and I do just. love her very very much. dear to my goddamn fucking heart.

#top five meme #lise memes #ilthit #conversating

28 notes · View notes

athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 4 years

Text

Of Ice and Blood

Part 3

Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read this

There are so many left out details here that I did on purpose for future explanation within the fic for the element of mystery I'm trying to brew . Hope you don't mind! Enjoy reading❤

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

1.7k words.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury and fighting.

Without thinking, I drove my fist towards the voice, regretting it the instant I recognized who it was.

Tai'chi.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found my fist encased in his hand. He seems unfazed by my reaction, seemingly expecting it.

“Oh shi— I’m so sorry!”

How the hell did he sneak up on me without making a sound??

“Feisty- I mean, I should be the one sorry, for startling you...And for following you. I just wanted to, make sure you were alright.”

I blinked. He was concerned?

He spoke up when I didn’t respond.

“So, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Just, disappointed.” I breathed in and sighed as he gently let go of my fist.

Oh, and his scent helps right now. He smells so...wonderful I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by disgusting odors my entire life. I swear I’ve inhaled appealing scents like lilac, sandalwood, cinnamon, even rain has its particular smell! But Tai'chi, he—he’s something else entirely.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else like, I don’t know, maybe getting lunch with some of your friends or in a classroom?” I asked. I wonder why he would even bother to be in my presence. Anyone should be creeped out by the way I spoke up earlier. I mean, who does that? Plus, I did throw a stranger down to the floor. But part of me knows he deserved that.

Definitely.

“Want to talk about it?” He ignored my question. Tai'chi was now sitting cross-legged beside me, the oak’s root in between us. His deep azure eyes studying, watching me carefully.

“What?”

“What you did back there, wasn’t something a plain, timid college girl would do.”

Wait. He knew I was pretending to be one?

“Yes, I knew.”

“You can read minds?!” I stammered out. He can read my mind this whole time?! Shit.

He held up for a second before a boisterous laugh broke out of him and echoed through the circling trees, scaring away some birds perched above. I don’t know if I should be offended or flustered by his guffaw. It was so, so deep and rich and —

What the hell Pearl? What if he's reading your mind??

Tai'chi faced me again, sighing once he calmed down.

“To answer your question, no, I can’t read minds. But like I stated before, your face gives it away. Or your brows since you’re wearing a mask, but I can imagine your expression.”

I let out an incomprehensible noise.

“How did you find out I was pretending to be…you know,” waving my hands around.

“The moment we made eye contact this morning when you entered. And the way you shifted your body at the last second to prevent yourself from plunging into the trash bin, I knew you were something more. Your eyes and your actions show your experience in combat. A skilled warrior would notice these little things right away.”

My jaw fell open, and I’m sure he knows. He left me speechless.

Should I tell him I am a trained martial artist and a weapon wielder?

But we just met like 5 hours ago!

He seems trustworthy. And he’s an orc, didn’t they have a code of honor or something?

My thoughts ran wild I swear Tai'chi could hear my mind, screaming.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wish to. And I must’ve sounded, creepy when I admitted I’ve been observing you. But before anything else, will you allow me to introduce myself, for real this time?”

“You mean your name isn’t Tai'chi?”

Letting out a chuckle, he replied, “I swear to you, my name is Tai'chi. What I mean is, I want you to know my full name. Do you understand what this implies, Pearl?”

I racked my brain for a moment, trying to recall what my parents said about orc traditions when my uncle, papa’s brother, married the orcess he fell in love with. Something about an orc’s real name being reserved only to those they’re close to?

“I guess so? But what exactly?”

“I want to become your friend.”

I couldn’t help the slight warmth creeping into my cheeks behind my mask. He can’t see it, can he? A friend, he says. A friend!

“Oh,” was all that came out. A pause and;

“Uh, I mean, I’d love to be your friend! I never had an actual friend before. I mean, have cousins, but we aren’t acquainted enough to consider myself their friend— I mean— uh, what should I do?” I blurted out a little rapidly.

He smiled. He actually smiled! Oh, damn, it was adorable!

Tai'chi was about to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and grimaced. I was confused by his sudden change of mood, along with his scent.

Then it struck me.

The two of us shot up when multiple smells filled the air, making my stomach clench.

We were followed, not just one but six individuals. One of them was the pretentious human from earlier.

My day can’t get any better. And is that a baseball bat? Great. Fucking great.

I swear. I’m cursed to find trouble anywhere I go.

“Hello, freaks.” The guy in the middle began. “Whatcha doin’ out here in the forest?”

The others began spreading out and surrounded us.

“Planning something nasty I bet.” A human to my right spat.

“You will pay for what you did to me, you bitch. Just so you know, my father is the dean of this university. No one will ever hear a word of what I did here and what we will do to you.

'Dean’s son, David Silverstone, assaulted by an insane student in the woods within campus grounds. His friends graciously helping him fight off the lunatic until she passed out and was carried to an isolation chamber for monitoring, later finding out about her severe psychological disorder.’ Now wouldn’t that be a hit in the papers!” The bastard and his companions cackled and snickered, some of them stealing glances between my legs and I felt my skin crawl.

Tai'chi growled lowly, silencing them for a brief moment. He was getting mad but held his ground.

“And you,” the human pointed, “you beast. It won’t be hard antagonizing you, people will no doubt believe you were the one who violated the schoolgirl and left her in the woods to die.”

This fucking—

I felt a hand on my shoulder just as I was about to start, gently gripping, in hopes of trying to calm me down. He knows they were baiting us on making the first move. He shook his head, and an idea popped up.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to make my voice as girly as possible, sounding so hilarious, like those overdressed, flashy high school girls with flowery perfume so strong I wrenched every time I get a whiff of it.

Provoking them would do.

“Oh, I’m so scared! Should I get on my knees and beg for mercy? Oh please, great and noble one, have mercy on my poor soul.” My voice laced with mockery and sadness, with my legs fake trembling and my arms flailing.

And did Tai'chi just snort?

“If you beg nicely, I will perhaps give you a chance to— ”

My sudden wheezing interrupted him and I laughed. Hard. I can’t believe he bought my terrible acting! I expected him to straight-up be offended rather than actually bite the false bait. He is dumber than I thought.

I was holding my middle by the time I was done. Tai'chi’s shoulders were moving slightly, probably chuckling and trying to hold back his amusement.

“Did you honestly take it seriously??? I can't— oh my God!” I choked out once more before I went on.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna bow to you, not even one degree of an angle, you foolish, idiotic, spoiled, bastardized son of a bitch.”

His face was turning red out of rage and oh! Wasn’t that a sight to behold?

“You brat!” Turning his head to the others, he yelled, “What are guys standing there for?! Get them!”

Good.

Perhaps they didn’t catch my hands slipping on my beloved crimson knuckle dusters out of the bag when I was laughing then, tugging down my hoodie’s sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t move.” I told the orc, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“But—”

“Just don’t.” I said with my voice firm. I will take them on my own. I can’t have him getting in trouble and people blaming him for being an orc. Imagine that. The ones who attacked him will be viewed as victims because they were up against him, an orc. Numerous humans will jump at the chance to throw dirt at their race, a single act of self-defense treated as a one-sided assault to humans, the thought of it being enough to somehow remove all of them from the city, but everyone knows it's not that simple. Dimwits.

I strode forward without earning his response, waiting for the first person to come at me.

I took my stance, although it was more of preparing half of my body since I was still hiding both of my hands.

They all seemed confused and hesitant, which was what I was going for. To me, and those with experience in hand-to-hand combat, this is one of the most basic stances, but fundamental, nonetheless. A simple form that can determine the outcome of a fight. With my right foot forward, left foot back, both firmly planted to the ground, and my dominant hand wearing my dusters. In their eyes, it was…wrong, foreign. Some may even say it’s an open vulnerability, showing how inexperienced the opponent is, but oh, it is the exact opposite.

I didn’t see Tai'chi’s expression, though. I was on alert and getting into my zone to peer at him, one motion that can put me in a compromising position. Did he notice my brass knuckles? Likely.

“Scared to hurt a little girl like me?” I enticed.

Finally, the one beside their alleged leader charged at me.

A typical amateur approach.

The guy, about two inches taller than me, threw a right punch, which was a huge mistake.

Predictable.

I smirked under my mask and dodged it not a second before it connected. Making him falter as I grabbed his arm and brought it down to my knee, dislodging his joints.

A high-pitched scream of pain broke out of him as he dropped down on the forest ground, gripping his bent-off arm, cursing, but refused to rise and fight me again.

I gave him one last glance before I looked back at the others.

“Who’s next?”

****************************************

Those human shits just can't leave them alone! Interrupting their supposed-to-be official introduction! There's more to the orc that meets the eye *wink* Who is he exactly? Why was he so... observant?

Part 4 is actually on its third revising— and I'm still trying to come up on HOW to phrase my next words to lead to part 5. I let me brain take a break from spewing senseless words for now so I'll probably post the next part of this later or tomorrow

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I'd appreciate it if you have some advice for me, or just point out some mistakes I made! Thank you

Ps. This is really not perfect formal writing if you're wondering. I just type away whatever comes into my mind, and then proofread it to the best I can. And I hope you don't mind me using a lot of spaces. It... sort of makes my mind clear and continue moving forward, and it helps me when I'm reading it again, mentally taking note that with every line between spaces there's a slight pause and again, read it clearly like you were the one thinking it. I don't know how to explain how my own brain works but I guess that's that?

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

58 notes · View notes