#I'm so self conscious and worried about everything and i am so hungry and still sore and exhausted from birtj

[xxlelaxx]

I feel like the worst mom ever and I've only been at this for a day.

[m0chitown]

🕷 Redback Spider | EARTH-90605: Manila, Philippines, 1968.

It's a change of scenery, hm? Welcome to Manila. It's 1968, and it's as hot as you can imagine it to be in a tropical nation. Oh, yeah, no, don't expect yourself to be slick and sneaky with your arrival-Word can get around everywhere in a second! And within those seconds, you're already family.

"Anak, meron kang alikabok sa ulo mo, halika dito, aayusin ko lang your buhok mo."

(My child, you have dust on your head, come here, let me just fix your hair.)

"Ang ganda mo talaga!"

(You're so totally pretty!)

"Foreigner ka ba?"

(Are you a foreigner?)

"Gutom ka ba? Gusto mo ba ng Halo-halo?"

(Are you hungry? Would you like some Halo-halo?)

I love Halo-halo...Anyways, allow me to introduce myself! I am known as RB. I was bitten by an extraterrestrial Redback spider. His name is Kanan, and what makes him extraterrestrial is his Symbiote form he injected on the right side of my neck, hence his name. He bit me when I got caught in my own web, being cornered by my boss and his subordinates from a mafia I work for...

Let's rewind a bit...

I work as a sketch artist for the police department. Can't do much with the pay that I have, especially with my circumstances of being both a woman and of a lower class. my Tito(Uncle) Aaron, works as a bartender at a pretty okay saloon. Our pay is enough to allow us to sustain ourselves in this grand, lively city despite the state of our economy so, it works out. Thing is, my Papa, my grandfather, was KIA during WWII and left me and my uncle a large sum of money we keep for absolute emergencies. As far as we knew, we were the only ones who knew about his inheritance until a little later down the line when I'd get surrounded and pinned to a wall by men in suits in a dark alleyway. Cliche, I know, I told them that too. They introduced themselves as Papa's former subordinates who were left with distasteful lives because of Papa's business with them. Until this day, I have yet to find out what tainted my Papa from being someone other than a sweet military guy but they threatened to hit the nail on my own coffin and harm my Tito in addition if I declined their offer to not only provide my Papa's old documents but to become their hitman. Someone who could do their dirty work for them in order to take down other mafia rings and eventually rise to the top as millionaires.

...

So...I took the option to withdraw those threats. I joined the mafia as their new hitman, all while having to keep this all from my Tito. It was rough, I couldn't take anyone's life just like that, and that is where we left off. With Kanan, such a transformation as such into a Spider-Person was gorey and unsettling, to say the least.

Kanan told me not to worry about it. Not to worry about them.

And the next thing I remember was my vision blacking out and gaining my own conscious back to shaking my boss' hand surrounded by the pools of mixed blood around us.

I'm still a sketch artist, and I'm still a hitman. And I'm still the RB. Needless to say, I've grown desensitized to my double life. I've gotten to be a better hitman, but it's not something I'm proud of and it's never going to be something I will be proud of. And one day, I'm going to bring this entire mafia down with me.

I'm just glad I'm not alone.

And, well, you know the rest!

Thanks, Kanan.

AAAAA This was super fun to write! And I'm so excited now that my Spidersona is finished!! :,,] It was a tough process seeing as I had to do a lot of self-reflection within myself as I don't typically have a reason to study myself and how I'm structured. It was especially difficult before as I used to shy away from analyzing myself too much due to past insecurities so putting everything I have in a character and realizing how pretty she truly is makes me want to cry :,0 I can't change the way of how I look much, not like I can play Tetris with my bone structure LMAO but it feels really good to be able to put my insecurities off and make a character I now love a lot :,,]

Translations of Baybayin: "Kanan," "Grabe...," "RB"

[spookybias]

[ attractiveness everywhere, stupidity everywhere ] — kang taehyun

pairing: kang taehyun x gn! reader. genre: fluff, crack. warning: mention of bugs, mc doesn't have any friends. for: @ficscafe's dialogue prompt event. word count: 1960 note: obviously i wasn't sure how to end this T_T

prompts: #22: "stop staring, it’s creepy" + #23: "what the hell are you wearing?" + #25: "you got something on your face." "what? where?" "your stupidity. it’s everywhere."

You shrieked at the sight of a tick crawling up your leg, and immediately began swatting at the skin in an attempt to slap it and any comrades that might have kept it company off of you. As a cold breeze passed, you brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around yourself in a hug. The thought of more ticks crawling all over you, consuming your blood and body in their tiny, red glory, sent shivers to your spine. The wait for your guardian to come pick you up from school was beginning to feel endless, and although the sun was shining, the warmth was certainly not existent on this particular day.

The thought of having to wait longer in the chilly weather only produced more thoughts of ticks and ants and other bugs finding the time to crawl on you. Anxiously, you dusted off your tutu skirt and legs once more, and even your jean jacket every few minutes. You thought that waiting at a nearby cafe instead of at the high school grounds was a better option, considering you refused to let any of your peers find out that you were still being picked up by someone. But you weren't expecting to become the seven course meal for some ticks.

The sunlight began to beam down. You were gracious for the heat to finally be hitting your shivering physique, but immediately became irritated at the brightness that you were sure would blind you if you sat at the table for another half and hour. You rose a hand to your head, trying to block out the sunlight, and caught sight of a boy from your school making his way over.

You realized who it was, and your knees began to tingle. You were eighty-five percent sure that the tick hadn't bit you, and that the twinkling panic in your body was due to the pretty guy plopping down in one of the seats across the table. Taehyun shuffled through his backpack, pulling out some snacks.

The desire to impress one of the cool kids from you school flew in like a pigeon at the sight of bread. You leaned back in your chair, legs crossed in what you hoped was a sexy angle, and twirled a piece of your hair around your fingertips. Before you realized what you were doing, you made a mental note of everything that was attractive about taehyun; his half brown, half blonde hair, his pearly whites, and his gentle but assertive hands. overall, his face was amazing. You mumbled to yourself as you watched him eat his animal crackers, unaware of just how creepy you appeared.

"Is there something you need?" Taehyun looked up from his notebook and sighed. He picked up his pack of crackers and held them out to you. "Are you hungry? Do you want some?" He waved the food in front of your face.

You were left dumbfounded. The tone of his voice made you feel like you were some kind of wild animal trying to prey on him, and he was trying to distract you in order to escape. You knew you weren't the best around people, but never predicted that the boy you'd seen people swoon over for ages talked to others like they were beneath him. "No, I don't want anything from you." It came out much more rude than you had intended. perhaps you were something feral, and your defensive instincts had kicked in.

Taehyun blinked twice before setting his pack of crackers back down. "Stop staring, it's creepy." Then he looked down, taking note of your appearance. He had never seen someone combine a jean jacket and a tutu skirt in forty degree weather. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Feeling self-conscious, you pulled your knees up to your chest again, tugging at your skirt. "What? You think I'm weird or something?" You weren't trying to sound so targeted, but you were used to people picking on your taste in everything, and attacking first had become your immediate reaction to others. "You don't have to sit here."

"Calm down," Taehyun held his hands up with a look of so much disbelief that you wondered if you seemed like you were about to shoot. "You seemed cold, even from all the way over there." Your eyes followed his thumb pointing over his shoulder to the nearest crosswalk, the direction he had come from earlier. "And it's no wonder. You're wearing a skirt in weather like this."

"I thought I looked cute..." You mumbled into your arms crossed over your legs. "Besides, you have no control over what I wear. I can show as much leg skin as I want to." You ended your sentence with a pout.

"I'm not saying you don't look cute." Taehyun looked directly into your eyes. "It's nice seeing an already attractive person in a strange, but nice outfit." Your face started to feel hot. "And you're right, I have no control over what you want to wear. I was just concerned is all. It's freezing and I know you're cold in that skirt."

"So you care?" The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could catch a hold of what you were saying. You weren't exactly used to people who weren't your guardian worrying about you.

Taehyun rolled his eyes and flipped to a new page in his notebook. "I would rather you don't pass out from the temperature right in front of me."

"My guardian usually tells me if it's hot or cold," You went on to say, no longer remembering that Taehyun was one of the cool kids, and instead eating up the idea that someone seemed interested in you. "The sun was out, so I assumed it would be better weather today."

Look at me, you thought to yourself, talking about the weather with someone handsome.

"You have a phone right?" Taehyun suddenly questioned.

Your eyes widened, a tiny bead of sweat dripped down the side of your face. You managed to stutter out, "Y-yes. I do. W-why?"

"Phones have weather apps, idiot. Start checking yours." Taehyun didn't bother to look up from his book. You wondered if he was still interested in what you had to say, if he had more questions after this one. "If you don't have the mental capacity to do that, then at least open your window and stick your hand out."

"Oh ok." You screamed into your skull. You had let yourself get a little too excited about Taehyun's question. You were brought back to reality. Taehyun was a cool kid, and you were a weird new student, an outsider. There was no way he'd give you his number.

The clouds moved in, blocking the sunshine that had previously been annoying you. Taehyun's appearance had made you forget about your irritation entirely, though. It was silent except for the occasional sound of the cafe door a few feet away swinging open joined by the sound of a customer's footsteps as they power-walked out with whatever they had bought. You wanted to talk to Taehyun some more, but wasn't sure what you could possibly say that hadn't already been said to the boy a million times —that day.

He was just that popular.

Taehyun jumped at the sudden sound of a slap on skin. You shrieked at the sight of an ant on your leg. Taehyun could distract you from the cold and the sunlight, but not from your worst nightmare coming true.

"Oh my gosh, they're eating me!" You wailed.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Taehyun closed his notebook and put it away. It was impossible for him to get some studying (and snacking) done with you around. "You really are crazy."

"There was an ant, and earlier there was a tick. Am I gonna die? They've been attacking me all day!"

Taehyun squinted. He wondered if you were mentally okay. Maybe the lack of social interaction was the cause of your eerie behavior. "Ants aren't much of a problem, but did the tick bite you?"

"No, I don't think so." You patted down your clothes.

"Then you're fine," Taehyun started to pack up his things. "I mean, if the tick did bite you, it's possible that your legs could go numb and you'd never walk again—"

"WHAT?!" You weren't sure if your life was flashing before your eyes or if the sun's demonic brightness had finally gotten to you.

Taehyun stared blankly at you. "You got something on your face."

"What? Where?" Panic began to strike again at the thought of a bug crawling on your cheek.

"Your stupidity. It’s everywhere." Taehyun grabbed his bag and stood up. "And I'm starting to believe it might be contagious, so I'll go now."

"You're leaving?" You scrambled around for your bag on the back of the chair and followed suit.

"Yeah, my ride should be here in a few minutes. I'm just going to stand by the corner." Taehyun walked off. You stood frozen in place.

"T-Taehyun!" You called out.

"Yes, ____?" He looked over his shoulder expectantly. "I don't have all day," He reminded as he took a look at the invisible watch on his wrist.

"You know my name?" You didn't think anyone at your school knew your name. No one talked to you unless they hadn't been paying attention to what the teacher was saying and needed a recap.

Taehyun turned around and looked at you. "Of course I know your name. We're in the same grade."

Oh. You had gotten ahead of yourself again. "Taehyun." You fiddled your fingers and lowered your voice. "Can I stand next to you while you wait for your ride?" It was silly, really, but that was the kind of person you were.

Taehyun continued walking. "Yeah, sure. Stop being creepy about it." There was a hint of teasing in his voice and a growing smile on his face. You were so stupid and weird, and that made him want to learn more about you.

And so you stood beside Taehyun for the next three minutes, utter and comforting silence surrounding you both. You thought you looked like two strangers who talked to each other and stood next to each other like they weren't strangers at all. You shook your head, letting the desire to be close to Taehyun shake. He'd probably let anyone stand next to him on the sidewalk.

A black van with tinted windows pulled up to the curb. It looked suspicious and you wondered if Taehyun was quite the suspicious character. You also wondered if you should probably run as far away as you could from the van. Then the door opened, and you caught a glimpse of an older guy with red hair sitting inside.

"Hurry up, Taehyun. We're gonna be late to game night, and I just know Beomgyu and Kai are hiding all the good cards." The guy peaked his head out and eyed you. "Taehyun you have an interesting taste."

"Your hair is weird," You immediately shot back.

Taehyun turned around. "Do you need a ride?" You gulped as you watched him put his bag in the car.

"Uh, no my guardian should be on their way. And I'm not allowed to take rides from strangers." You scratched your head awkwardly. "Not that I would want to ride with that weird guy in the back," You managed to finish.

Taehyun chuckled. "I'll leave first. Don't wait here on the corner by yourself, though. Someone might mistake you for a prostitute. It's not exactly safe," Taehyun warned. "See you at school."

"Got it." You retreated back to your empty cafe table, and watched from afar as Taehyun's car drove our of sight.

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

Hiiiiiii! I have been a fan of your blog for long and you seem like a nice and sweet person and i love everything you write especially for Kita, Suna & the Miya twins!♥️ (I super loved that married series about Atsumu 😭). And maybe one day when I am less shy I would love to talk to you off anon hehehe. Also you got me into Sangwo! I didn't know what KS was until you started posting about it and then I realized I actually kind of like Sangwoo and maybe I'm actually secretly psychotic 😂

Umm if your headcanons are still open though can I make a sfw request for Sangwoo? How do you think he reacts to his shy s/o who can sing and hit like super high notes? He comes home one day and just hears something and he never knew. I don't picture him as a hypeman type of bf so I wonder how he is w/ a talented partner 😂

I really really love ur work and thank you so much for your writing!!

Hii!! I’m so glad that you enjoy my content!! Kita is so fun to write for (I have a fic coming for him tomorrow!). Suna is, of course, the love of my life. Oh, ‘Tsumu and ‘Samu 😭 I love writing for Atsumu a smidge more, but writing comfort with ‘Samu is so much fun! The “A Month” series was such a blast to write, I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed it! No worries, you don’t have to go off anon if you don’t want to, this is perfectly fine, it’s just nice to hear from you whenever you message if you do again!

Sangwoo 😏 if only the villains of series didn’t own my heart maybe I wouldn’t always fall for those damn psychopaths, but there’s something about them. Why do they always have to be the hottest characters? 😭💔

So, I hope you enjoy this little headcanon I wrote up for you! Singing is one of my favorite things to do, but I too am insanely shy about it 😫

When he comes home, he’s tired, he wants to eat dinner and just relax. He doesn’t even want to do so much as touch you outside of cuddling and resting his head on your shoulder, but when he walks inside, he’s silent, and when he hears your singing voice, he stops himself from announcing his presence as he always did since you moved in. There was a distinct smell of his favorite food that damn near made him salivate, but as he shut and locked the door behind him, your voice seems to lure him in.

It’s… not bad.

He searches the house, finding you with a duster in your hand as you pause for a moment to really get into the song— it’s one of your favorites, he knows that much, but your high note ends abruptly with a screech when he speaks.

“I didn’t know you could sing.” In shock, you ignore his words, hand grasping your chest over your heart as you yell that he almost gave you a heart attack, but he ignores you, too. “Why have I never heard you sing before?” And now you have to explain yourself because you know he isn’t going to lighten up, but you’re expecting nothing more than a soft hum to your words before he moves on and starts to talk about dinner.

“I, uh… I’m just self-conscious.” You say, fiddling with the duster in your hands. Your nervous demeanor doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but he only blinks. He wants more, you know he does, so you continue. “I’ve always loved music, but I’ve always been too shy to sing in front of people.” Just as you expected, he gives you a soft hum in acknowledgment, but much to your surprise he speaks again— not about dinner.

“You should do it more often. It wasn’t bad.”

It really wasn’t a compliment, but you can’t help from looking down as your ears burn. By time you peek back up, he’s already in the kitchen, checking on dinner and licking his lips at the thought of eating it. He was hungry, and as if you just knew he was having a shitty day, you made one of his favorites. What would he do without you?

Well, realistically, he was perfectly capable. He was a self-sufficient man, a smart man. He knew how to get along, he had no issue cleaning and cooking for himself, but he doesn’t like it when you leave. Dare he think he gets a little bit lonely when you’re not around.

Later in the night, he really shocks you. He’s laying on your chest, your fingers massaging his scalp while you stare at the ceiling. It’s as clear to him that you’re awake as it is to you that he’s awake, but instead of talking about your day or starting a random conversation he feels like starting, his voice and words both surprise you.

“You should sing something.” He says it so softly you wonder if you mishear. “Just quietly. No crazy high notes.” You can’t help but laugh a little as the man cuddles closer to you. So, you do as he asks. You sing him a song, as soft as you can— a song you know he likes. The mere fact you remember something about him makes him smile a bit. He expects you to, and yet after all of the things he learned about you, he questions sometimes if you remember him like he does you.

By time you finish the song, he’s drifting off to sleep, a soft murmur coming from him to tell you that you have a pretty voice before he falls asleep. It isn’t a boastful compliment, it isn’t a big deal he makes out of it, but it makes your heart pick up in your chest as he falls asleep. It’s just what you want, a small compliment from the man you craved affection from so badly about something that you were so shy about.

Sometimes, he asks you to sing to him, nothing more than a soft kiss to your head while you do. More often than not, he asks you to sing him to sleep. Compliments are rare, but if he’s in a good mood, he’ll occasionally tell you that you have a pretty voice again.

[bozowrites]

My Brain Just Won’t Shut Up

Imagine

↳ When your brain just won't be quiet and his comfort is all you needed.

Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou × Fem!Reader

TW: Anxiety kinda

Word Count: 1.9k

My mind won't quiet itself. It never stops shouting. I can hear their laughs. Their mocking words and threats.

I shifted in my bed again, trying to find a comfier spot. Maybe it'd quiet the voices in my head. It was almost five in the morning and I couldn't find myself in the blissfulness of sleep. Instead, I lay in bed, wide awake.

"Hey, Loser."

"You're so stupid and weak."

"Why are you still here?"

"No one loves you. Even your mom left you."

My mind won't quit. The events of the past kept popping up. Embarrassing moments, dumb things I'd done, mean things people have said and so on.

I felt tears fall down my cheeks and past the bridge of my nose. I just wanted it to stop. I don't want to remember. I curled myself into a ball, covering my ears as I whispered to myself, "Shut up." Over and over again. Nothing seemed to make it stop.

It was a never-ending battle.

The only pro in this disaster is the fact it was Saturday. I could sleep till three in the afternoon if I pleased. That was if I could fall asleep.

I let out a shaky breath as I sat up and rubbed my eyes free of tears. The room was dark, except for my nightlight in the corner outlet and the dim sunrise light coming through my closed blinds. I let my feet carry me to the door and down the corridor to the elevator.

Perhaps a drink of water would help. Or a snack. Something to occupy me.

As I left the elevator, I cursed at the loud ding. Rather annoying. I heard the clatter of dishes being moved and the small curses accompanied with it. Peering over to the kitchen space, I found a shadow in the low light of the sunrise scavenging through the cupboards.

"Hello?" I questioned. The shadow jumped, knocking over the cup beside them. "L/n?" Kirishima's red hair came to my view. I smiled slightly. "Hey. What are you doing up so early?" I asked, walking over to help with the small mess of water made after the cup fell over.

"Uh, I was a little thirsty. Thought I'd get some water. What about you?" I avoided his gaze and shrugged. "Same here." Though it wasn't the full truth, it wasn't a full lie. I was a little thirsty.

And hungry.

"Ah, okay." I grabbed my own cup of water and an orange and walked over to the table to sit. Kirishima soon joined, sitting right beside me. I smiled over to him and sipped at my water.

"What are your plans for today?" he asked, letting his cup clink against the table. "Uh, nothing much. Do some studying, maybe, What about you?" He smiled wide. "I was hoping to have a movie marathon tonight with the squad."

"Sounds fun. Which series are you guys planning to watch?" I asked as I peeled my orange. "You guys? Are you not coming?" I chuckled. "I thought you said it was the squad. I'm not part of the bakusquad, last I checked. I'm a loner in between everyone else's gangs."

Kirishima let a small whine out. His lips pouted out and his eyes teared up. Fake tears, of course. "I-I thought you were apart of our squad! L/n? Do you not love us?" I laughed. I loved small moments like these. "Of course I do! How could I not love you guys? I just didn't think I was part of it."

"Well, you are. Deal with it." Kirishima pouted his lips out and giggled. "Okay, okay, I surrender. I'm part of the oh-so-amazing bakusquad." Kirishima laughed lightly. "Well I'm gonna head back to bed. See you later, L/n." I waved goodbye as he left to his side of the building.

I sighed. This was nice.

It was already five in the evening. I had gotten in five hours of sleep after my conversation with Kirishima. He let my mind drift to more fun, better moments in my life. I even got an hour-long nap before diner. I had a strange dream during that hour, though.

My father told me a man was crushed to death by an overly large baby. Weird.

Now, I sat in Ashido's dorm room on her bed as we prepared to watch a bunch of our favourite movies. Kirishima sat beside me on the bed sharing a blanket with Bakugou on his other side (It was a miracle he was here). Denki, Ashido and Sero shared a few blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the bed.

"What movie first?" Sero asked. "Doesn't matter to me," Kirishima said. "Mine first!" Denki shouted, going to play his movie on Ashido's computer. "Please don't be anything stupid," I muttered. "Don't worry, Cutie! It's a great action, car chasing type movie. Very funny."

"Cutie? The fuck? Who you talking to?" I snickered. He smirked at me. "Well, of course, the finest woman in this room." I chuckled. "Mina, he's talking to you." She blushed, laughing. "You sure? I think it's you. I mean, have you seen yourself? You're a total hottie!"

I laughed. "She's right, you know," Kirishima whispered. I giggled bashfully. "Well, guess I should say you're pretty hot too," I whispered back, smiling at him.

"Shut the fuck already! Do your flirting elsewhere." Bakugou grumbled. I giggled sheepishly. "Sorry, Sparky. Anyways, on with the movie!"

The third movie came to an end. I was wrapped in a burrito-like blanket barrier. I munched on chips as I watched the credits. "That was good," Sero stated, yawning. "but I'm exhausted. Anyone wanna go to sleep now?"

Bakugou had left after the second movie, so Ashido had joined us on the bed. "I could go for some shut-eye! I need my beauty sleep, you know." She said and leaned into me, sneaking a few chips from my bag. Rude. "Why don't you guys stay the night, just for the hell of it? A slumber party!"

"That's genius," Denki mumbled. I shook my head. "Iida will be all over us when he finds out." Denki groaned. "What's the worst that could happen? There's five of us. What would we do? Have a fivesome?" I snorted.

"Or cause a hell load of trouble and noise, waking up all of Japan and maybe be the reason the world ends." Denki glared. "That's a little excessive." I shrugged. "It could happen."

"Come on! Please! It'll be fun!" I sighed. "Okay, okay. I'm in."

"I'm in too!"

"Me three."

"Me four."

"Yes! Should we get Bakugou?" I huffed. "He'd kill us in his sleep. And I highly doubt he'll want to." I pointed out. "I'll still ask." Kirishima said. "So kind." I muttered. He chuckled.

"He said no." He stated after a few minutes. I laughed. "Called it." Ashido raised from the bed. "Well, if you guys are staying the night, I need to go do my nightly routine first. I'll be right back. L/n, coming with?" I growled. "I'm comfy, though."

She giggled, trying to unwrap me from my burrito blanket. "No! Stop! Mina!" I let out whines as she dragged me from the warmth of the bed and blankets. "It's so cold!"

"You're such a baby."

It was well past three in the morning and the other four had already gone to sleep.  

Denki snored from his spot on the floor with Sero. Ashido was on her bed puffed out in a starlike position. Kirishima was beside me, a bit of drool falling from his mouth. I giggled. The light from the pink lamp illuminating his face nicely.

"So cute," I whispered. I pushed away a stray hair from his closed eyes and sighed. He's so beautiful. "L/n?"

I shrieked in surprise as Kirishima's eyes cracked open. Kirishima shushed me quickly. "You'll wake up the others!" I glanced around and sure enough, the others shifted in their sleep, though none of them showed signs of being awake.

"What are you doing up?" He asked in a whisper, sitting up. "Couldn't sleep." I shrugged. After rubbing his eyes and giving a yawn, he stared me down. "Why are you staring?" I asked, feeling myself become self-conscious.

"Wanna talk about it?" I raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" He gave a warm and gentle smile. "L/n, I'm dumb but I'm not stupid. I can see you're clearly bothered by something. You've been tired a lot more these days. I almost started mistaking you for Mr. Aizawa."

I muffled a giggle behind my hand. "I'm not that bad, am I?" The redhead nodded. "You still look cute, though." I blushed. "You really wanna know?" Kirishima's hand rubbed my thigh slowly in a show of comfort. I placed my hand on his and leaned closer to his body. I want his warmth.

He gently grabbed my arm and placed them around his waist. I did the same with my other arm and fell into his chest. His hands rubbed slow circles onto the small of my back now. His body radiated warmth and comfort. I could smell his shampoo from the shower he had yesterday. His breath tickled my neck as he dipped his head into the crook of my neck.

"Take your time." He said against my skin. The contact sending a small shiver down my spine. The things he does to me.

"My brain won't shut up," I said quietly. I eyed the three others in their spots. Denki pulled Sero into his arms and let out a small snore. Those two were only friends, but they had more chemistry than my aunt and uncle.

"What is it saying?" Kirishima asked. I sighed. Maybe it's time to confine to him about my troubles.

"It's shouting about every mistake I've made." Kirishima's hold tightened on my waist and his breath tickled my ear as he whispered, "Everyone makes mistakes, you know. It's okay. You should have told me sooner. I'd stop everything I'm doing to help you."

I let out a small cry. "I'm sorry." My heart was loud in my ears. I've wanted him to hold me close like this for so long, but not in this type of situation. "Don't be." I leaned in more (if that was possible) and tightened my grip on him. It was a miracle none of the others woke up.

My tears stopped and I pushed back from his embrace. "Didn't realize I needed to vent that out." I laughed quietly, relieved. "I'm happy to help. Whenever, wherever." I caressed his cheek. He leaned into my touch and smiled a toothy grin. 

My heart pounded in my chest. His gentle gaze and warm smile was so comforting and beautiful and perfect.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, almost too quiet even for myself to hear.

"Not as beautiful as you."

[lihikainanea]

Could you write about BFF!Bill finding out about Tiger being insecure about her stretch marks and/or scars? This may be a bit of a self-insert but holy fuCK I'm in love with BFF!Bill and I need more of him 🥺 I just recently started getting into the fandom and I honestly??? Could not have fallen harder for him than I did reading about BFF!Bill, so thank you, amazing author, thank you

Baby thank you so much for the kind words

Look man, tiger is like all of us and she definitely gets insecure about her body. But I feel like there’s this whole other layer here too, because she’d be a little insecure regardless, but she’s literally hooking up with a dude who makes a living off of his looks. Yes, Bill is talented. But there’s no way he’d be a Hollywood actor if he wasn’t ridiculously attractive. And his costars are ridiculously attractive--women who literally just look perfect in every way--and he has to do all these lovey, sexy scenes with them and seriously sometimes it just gives tiger such a complex.

And maybe she always had stretch marks on her thighs or her breasts or her stomach, maybe she’s always been a little uneasy about them. Or maybe it’s after that wonderful sun-filled vacation they took (check the extensive blurbs in my Masterlist :-P) and it was full of rum cocktails and too much food. And I don’t know about you guys, but I always gain a shit ton of weight on vacation. I don’t work out as much or as intensely (or uh, even at all) when I’m away and I literally just eat whatever I want so like, when I came back from New Orleans I legit am still carrying around a little buddha belly filled with crawfish boils, beignets, and hurricane dranks.

But like, look. Tiger’s got some extra cushion for the pushin’ that really only she’s noticing, but she’s poking around a lot and kind of cringing whenever she gets a glimpse in the mirror before a shower or something. And it’s a little easier to ignore on vacation because as soon as she starts to get a little down about it, somebody (Bill) is shoving another rum cocktail in her hands. But it’s a bit of a different story when thy get back home and all the magic of vacation is just...gone.

And it doesn’t take long for Bill to be shootin’ his shot. It never takes long. But the plane ride back was torture because she was cold so he bundled her in his sweater, but there she was looking all cute and cuddly in his gigantic pullover and she curled up into him and put her head on his shoulder but they were on a plane surrounded by their friends, and all he wanted to do was snuggle her and kiss her but he couldn’t do shit. So they get home and haul their suitcases up, and tiger’s probably all bloated from the plane and not really feeling her best self. It’s stupid, right, but it happens--hell something so insignificant as just my yoga pants rolling down a tad and giving me a muffin top is enough to really put me in a bad mood.

Anyway, Bill asks her if she’s hungry and it’s an immediate, pretty grumpy no. And that’s fine, but when she mentions she’s going to take a shower he smirks, hugs her from behind, starts walking with her to the bathroom--she tries to smile and shove him away playfully, but there’s an ounce of worry and seriousness to it. She was around a shit ton of people today, she says, and kinda just wants to be alone for a few minutes. Bill’s not hurt by it, he knows she likes her space so with a final peck to her lips, he pats her butt as she closes the door behind her.

And he’s not worried until she emerges from the bathroom in a towel, and when he playfully goes to grab it and pull it from her, she legitimately panics a little--he doesn’t like the fear he saw on her face, the way she desperately grabbed it and held it to her. He offers her food again because she really didn’t each much today but she quietly refuses, so he fixes a snack and plops it on his lap, pulling her to the couch to cuddle. She doesn’t nibble on it despite him handing it over to her every now and then. When he’s done he puts the plate on the floor, pulling her over and plunking her in his lap, her back to his chest. He loops his arms around her and lifts her shirt a tad to rub her tummy, but she immediately grabs his hand and loops hers through it, keeping it to the side instead. Bill frowns.

“Everything okay, kid?” he murmurs in her ear. She nods, turns her head a bit to kiss him.

“Just tired bud,” she says, “Tired and a little grumpy.”

“Do you want to go to bed?” he asks, and she nods. And listen, Bill really wants that closeness with her, just wants it to be all soft and slow and needy because god he’s feeling a little possessive and protective over her, but it’s not going anywhere tonight and he knows it. So instead when he lies down he just tucks around her, and he frowns when she keeps her (his) shirt on.

“Off with it tiger,” he mumbles, tugging at it, “Skin, please.”

But tiger is feeling way too self-conscious to be topless.

“I’m cold,” she says as an excuse. He tugs at her shirt again.

“I’ll keep you warm,” he says.

“Bill...” she growls in warning, and he sighs.

“Fine, grumpypants,” he mutters. And he curls around her more, but when he lifts the shirt just a tad to trail his fingers along her bare stomach, she grabs his hand again and moves it away. He doesn’t like it, but trying to talk to her about it when she’s grumpy and snappy will likely get him dead--so he lets it go.

But listen, the next morning? We all have those few seconds--moments, if we’re lucky--of sleepy bliss. The first 2 minutes when you wake up are the most glorious of the day because you literally can’t remember a single thing that would make you stressed. So maybe when Bill hugs her a little closer, nibbles on her neck, maybe tiger stirs awake and pushes back a little into him. He groans softly, rolling his hips into hers and when she whimpers a little, reaches her hand back to run through his hair, he turns her over onto her back and eases on top of her. She pulls him down for a kiss and tilts her hips up into his again, so he reaches for her shirt--this stupid fucking shirt that stopped him from feeling her soft skin pressed to his last night--and pulls it up over her breasts.

But it’s like the alarm button, and suddenly she remembered all the stupid issues she’s having lately. So she grabs it and pulls it down, sitting up and pushing him away. And that’s quite enough, for Bill. He’ll let her stew all she wants if that’s what she needs, but she got herself into a bad place and she’s just staying there...which is a no-go in his books.

“Tiger, what’s going on?” he asks softly.

“Nothing,” she tries, “I just don’t want to.”

“You wanted to a second ago,” he says, as he reaches out and tucks her hair behind her ear. Her eyes go hard.

“What, I’m not allowed to change my mind?” she challenges. Bill’s jaw ticks, because he knows what she’s trying to do. But her eyes flit down to her lap and she pulls her knees up to her chest, curling in on herself.

“Tiger, look at me,” he commands, but she just keeps her gaze averted and she bites her lip.

“Now, tiger,” he says more sternly and she sighs, closing her eyes for a brief second before she looks up at him. He puts his hands on her knees, pushing them down so she’s cross-legged and he can lean in closer.

“You can change your mind at any time and you know that,” he says softly, “But that’s not what this is.”

She goes to look down again but he tucks a knuckle under her chin, keeping it up.

“What’s going on?” he tries again. She huffs, but he keeps a hold of her chin.

“It’s stupid,” she mutters.

“If it’s bugging you, it’s not stupid,” he murmurs, “Please, kid. Is it...us? This? Do you not want to anymore?”

And you know, tiger has her faults, but Bill does too. And whenever she pulls away a tad or shirks his affections, his mind immediately goes to the fact that maybe she doesn’t want him anymore. And it breaks her heart. So she closes her eyes, cups his face gently in her hands and kisses him.

“No bud, it’s not this. I still want...us. It’s just that I..” she trails off, swallowing hard, “I gained a lot of weight vacation.”

“Tiger, it--” but she puts two fingers gently on his lips, silencing him.

“No. Don’t do that thing where you say it doesn’t matter, or that you didn’t notice, or that you don’t care,” she says but it’s not unkind, it’s just honest, “Because I notice, and I care, and I’m really uncomfortable about it.”

She lowers her fingers from his lips but he’s just watching her, taking it all in and trying to read her.

“I want...you. I want--shit, I need--that closeness with you. But I’m just really, really self-conscious right now and I don’t want to be naked,” she says, “I just have all these new soft bits and these marks that weren’t there before and--”

Tiger still has a lot of issues she needs to work out for sure, but sometimes her honesty and candidness still completely fucking flattens him and god he loves her for it. There’s a fine line, though, between honesty and self-deprecation, and she’s crossed to the other side when she starts listing off what she hates. So he gently puts a hand over her mouth, silencing her.

“Can I say something now?” he asks, raising his brows. She kisses his hand, pulling it from her mouth to thread with hers as she nods.

“As long as it’s not--”

“It’s not,” he cuts her off. He goes silent for a minute, waiting for her to meet his gaze and when she does and holds it, he speaks.

“I’m only going to say one thing,” he murmurs lowly but sternly, “I love you, tiger. You. Got it?”

She bites her lip, doesn’t say anything.

“Hey, am I talking to myself kid?” he flicks her nose,”Got it?”

“Yeah bud,” she says, “I got it.”

“Good,” he says and pecks her lips, “Do you want to continue?”

And she does, god she does, but shit she’s overthinking it all.

“Yes,” she admits, “But Bill I--”

“Hush,” he cups her cheeks with his hands, “Are you more comfortable with your shirt on?”

“Yes,” she mumbles, and he could tell there’s more but she goes quiet again.

“And?” he prompts.

“And,” she sighs, “Can you just....keep your hands up here? Hold mine or something. I’m not ready for you to be grabbing...stuff.”

“Sure, kid,” he says. And he wants to tell her that he hates it, that it’s the worst idea ever, that all he wants to do is run his hands all over her body and make her feel good. Wants to shake her and tell her that he doesn’t give a shit if she’s skinnier or thicker or softer or harder or any of that. But he knows it’s not the time, and that it won’t help. So instead he weaves his hands through her hair, pulls her head up for a kiss.

“And if you change your mind? At any point?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you,” she promises.

“Good,” he pushes her back down on the bed and juts his chin at her waist, “Take your panties off for me, kid. My hands will stay right here.”

“Oh,” she mumbles and blushes a little, “Uh, you can do that.”

He quirks a questioning brow at her, and she blushes deeper.

“I like it when you do that,” she admits, embarrassed. And she squeals when he grabs the waistband in one hand and all but RIPS them off her in one fluid motion.

And you know what? I’ll bet there’s no immediate fix to this, because it’s so deep in her head. And Bill hates it, hates that she’s so self conscious, but the only thing he can do that will help is to just...not push her limits. To give her all the affection she needs and wants but in the way that she wants it. If that means sex with a shirt on for like a month, then that’s what he’ll give her. If it means no soothing tummy pats or rubs, no hands running over her glorious body--it’s fucking torture for him, but that’s what he’ll give her. And he’ll go heavy on the praise, he’ll be really loud and enthusiastic about how good she makes him feel whenever she does want him a little closer, and it’s a slow process but eventually it’ll just help get her feeling a little more comfortable and safe again.