#I'm trying to stretch my writing

[broiderie]

Lost Princessa: Meet the Reaper 5

Well... here's 5. Don't steal my shit. You don't want to be me. Promise. I just typed a lot of this up in a hallway closet while tornado sirens were going off.

Warnings: talk of injury, gun talk, happy Hank (he's a warning okay?), gets a little hot and heavy at one point. Oh... and cursing. Always cursing.

Please be easy... I don't write steam very often and I've never published any of it.

The clubhouse in Oakland wasn’t nearly as remote as the one in Santo Padre. It was a compound - but it was right in the center of town.

As they rolled up to the gates - a chain link Megan noted, not steel like at home - a lone man in a prospect kutte rolled them open. Hank parked the car in a spot near the pit where Bishop, Taza, and Coco parked.  Both Bishop and Coco unloaded duffle bags since they’d stay there at the clubhouse for the night.

Megan sat in the seat of the car taking deep breaths as Hank turned to her. “Easy, mi amore. It’s just like at home.” He reached for her good hand again and placed gentle kisses on each knuckle. “No different. You are la Princessa, your papa and your padrinos will be with us, and I will be right here the Tentire time.”

Megan nodded. “Right. Arthur and Guinevere.”

Hank smiled. “Arthur and Guinevere, mi princessa. Deep breath and straighten that crown.”

Megan smiled and he leaned over to kiss her deeply before breaking away to get out of the car. He came around to help her out of the passenger side.

“Can you help me?” she asked. “I want to take my sweatshirt off if that’s okay.”

“Of course. Here. Let me help with the sling.”

Together they maneuvered to remove her sweatshirt, leaving her in a deep green shirt with short cream lace sleeves. The v-neck showed off her jewelry in a very strategic way. The ripped light wash jeans and white sneakers were mild compared to what most women in the clubhouse would be wearing.

“Is this okay? I can put the sweatshirt back on if I need to…” Megan asked Hank, tugging at the neckline of her shirt so it didn’t show as much cleavage.

“Princessa - you look beautiful. We can take your jacket if you think you’ll be cold, but I really love you in green.” Hank reached and grabbed her leather riding jacket from the back seat. He kissed her softly again before guiding her to the stairs of the clubhouse where Bishop and the others were greeting El Padrino.

“Ah. There she is!” Marcus opened his arms to offer Megan a hug. “Your Tío and Papa said you had a rough morning. We don’t have to stay if you get tired, Poquito.”

Megan gladly went to get her hug from her godfather. “I’m okay Tío. Hank let me sleep a lot on the drive.”

“Good. Come in. It’s just a few of the guys tonight. I sent one of the prospects for your dinner. It’s just burgers.” He cuddled Megan close, kissing her hair. “I missed you bebita. I haven’t had anyone to teach to dance.”

“Missed you too Tío.” She smiled up at him. 

Marcus released her enough to guide them all inside so the men could greet their brothers. Hank stayed close. He knew anyone who wanted to talk to him would come to him.

Marcus herded Megan to a table that was very obviously reserved for El Padrino. His preferred beer was on the table along with an ashtray with a cigarillo already smoldering in it. “Prospect!” he yelled. “Bring mi ahijada that food.” He smiled as he guided Megan into a chair. “Would you like coke or water, Poquito?” he asked.

“Coke please, Tío.”

“And a coke!” he bellowed to add. 

Megan giggled as Hank joined her at the table. 

The prospect hurried over with a giant burger and fries on a tray and a glass bottle of coke in hand. “Dinner for the princessa,” he said with a flirty smile.

“You better tuck that shit in Prospect. She has a caballero and he won’t hesitate to take you to the ring.” Marcus said, smiling evilly. “And I’ll let him.” He picked up his cigarillo and puffed as he sat back in his chair.

Hank slid a heavily tattooed arm along the back of Megan’s chair pointedly. 

The prospect straightened up. “Yes sir.” He turned to Hank. “What can I get you?”

“Dinner and another coke.” Hank told him gruffly. “And my President and VP will be here in a second for theirs.”

“Any idea what they’ll want to drink? I can have it waiting for them,” the kid offered.

Megan smiled gently at him. “Probably two beers, Prospect. Tío might want something stronger, but I doubt Papa will.”

The prospect nodded. “Assuming the other burger is for the member who rode in with you. I’ll keep it in the oven until he’s ready for it.”

“Thank you,” Megan said politely.

Marcus snorted as the kid walked away. “You’re going to spoil him, Poquito. He’s a prospect - make him earn it.”

Hank chuckled as he pulled Megan’s chair closer to his. “She’s the same way with EZ. Unless she’s bossing him in the bar that is.” He kissed her hair. “Need some help, Princessa?” he asked as Megan gauged the size of her burger carefully.

“I might need a knife…” she giggled and looked at El Padrino. “This burger is huge.”

Marcus sat back smoking with a grin. “I may have gone a bit overboard when your Papa mentioned getting dinner when you got here.”

The prospect returned with Hank’s order and the things they’d gotten for Taza and Bishop.

“Get one of those steak knives from the kitchen and bring it too, Prospect,” Marcus ordered.

Megan munched on fries as she glanced around. Taza and Bishop were headed their way, but Coco was already involved in a poker game across the room.

Over dinner, Bishop and Taza caught up with Marcus about plans for Megan’s party that was coming up once she was healed. Hank cut Megan’s burger into fourths so she could pick pieces up one handed. She only got through half of the meal before declaring herself stuffed.

“So, Poquito, I know you don’t want a big deal made here about your birthday, but I do have a few things for you.” Marcus said once she was done eating. He smiled at her where she was leaned up against Hank’s side as he finished eating one handed so she could cuddle close. “I don’t have them all here though.”

Megan sighed, but smiled a little. “That’s more than okay, Padrino. You didn’t need to get me anything at all.”

All the men around her snorted.

“All the same -” Marcus said. “Marco,” he called. When the man who had been his pacificador came over, he indicated a stained glass door similar to the Templo door at Santo Padre. “Marco, will you get the case I brought in today from the safe for me?”

“Si, Padrino.” Marco said with a wink in Megan’s direction. “Be right back.”

Megan perked up a little. “What kind of case?”

“A gun case.”

Megan perked up a little more. “Gun case?”

Hank chuckled. “Oh, so that’s what it takes to get you interested in a gift.”

Taza snorted. “The girl likes her guns. Remember the shooting range… I still think we need to get her shooting against Coco one day soon.”

Bishop grinned. “Poquito is a good shot and knows how to handle her fire power.” 

Marcus just smiled and puffed his cigarillo.

Marco returned with a hard gun case and set it in front of Megan at Marcus’ wave. “I checked it over myself,” he assured Hank.

“Open it, sweetheart,” Marcus said, blowing smoke away from the table. “I know you have the one from the armory, but…”

Megan popped the catches holding the case closed open one at a time and opened the case. Inside was a 9 mm pistol with mother of pearl handle grips. It had been polished to a high shine and smelled of fresh gun oil. She traced the silver crown inlaid on the grips gently. “ Tío… it’s beautiful. It must have cost a fortune.”

“It’s the perfect gift for a princessa with your skills, Poquito.” Marcus smiled, satisfied. “I knew it was perfect when I saw it last week.”

The members nearby had gotten quiet when Marcus had sent Marco for the case. Coco noticed and came to peek. “How’s it shoot?” he asked.

Marco answered him. “Like a dream. It’s got a smooth action. A little small for my preference, but El Padrino said la princessa preferred a single stack.”

Coco whistled, impressed. He had a healthy respect for Marco’s opinion on weapons. It was something that they shared.

Megan smiled brightly at Marcus. “It’s beautiful, Tío. Thank you.” She stood and gave him a one armed hug.

Hank smiled as well. He knew Megan preferred to be armed. He’d tested her proficiency himself. It really was the perfect gift. “Mind if I take a closer look, mi princessa?”

“Of course I don’t mind, Hank.” Megan giggled.

The gun was examined by Hank before being passed to Bishop and Taza with Megan’s permission. After everyone got a chance to look it over, Marco offered to put it back in the safe for the night since Megan couldn’t really carry it at the moment. She could shoot left-handed, but it wasn’t her preferred draw and there wasn’t a reason to carry when she never left Hank’s side.

The group broke up as Coco got Bishop to come be his second in a pool game. Taza wandered off to talk to old friends after glancing to be sure Megan was content with Hank, as did Marcus.

Hank guided Megan to a set of couches in a quieter portion of the bar to relax for a few minutes as it got later. He’d had a few conversations and some drinks with some of the guys he knew from the Oakland charter, but he could tell Megan was getting tired. He settled down and let her cuddle into his side. “You okay, mi Princessa?”

Megan nodded. “I’m okay. Sore. I think I just need to rest a few minutes.” She fiddled with the zipper pull of his kutte. “Sorry you’re stuck with me and not able to mingle properly.”

“Hey.” Hank tugged her onto his lap facing him firmly but gently. “I’m not ‘stuck’ anywhere, Princessa.”

Megan kept her eyes on where her good hand was still playing with his zipper. “I only mean that I know it’s not normal for you guys to bring your girls along on runs. Papa explained the Run Rules the day after he met me.”

Hank frowned. “Run Rules? What Run Rules?”

“What happens on a run, stays on a run.” Megan said quietly as she shifted a little like she was going to get up. “I don’t want you to feel like me being here is your burden…”

Hank tugged her close to straddle his lap and used the other hand to lift her chin until she met his eyes. “Look at me.” He said firmly. When she finally met his gaze he saw tears on her lash line. “Megan, there is nowhere I’d rather be right now than right here. With you.” He gently wiped her eyes with his thumbs. “I don’t care where we are, or who we’re with. There is no ‘Run Rule’ with us. Do you hear me?”

Megan nodded a little. “But…”

“No. No but. You are MY princessa. I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone else but you and my brothers and Mama.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “No one else, understand?”

Megan nodded again and he kissed her gently. He pressed more kisses to her face and lips and pulled her against his chest to tuck her under his chin. “I never want you to feel like you’re holding me back, baby.”

Megan rested against him and let her heartbeat slow as she settled down. “You’ll tell me if it changes?” she asked quietly, tracing the round patch that tributed his brothers. 

Hank nodded. “But it won’t.” He waited for her to calm down before he nudged her gently into a position where he could kiss her.

Megan kissed him back, jumping a little when he deepened the kiss. She shifted her weight until she sat more on her knees and had the height advantage to kiss him properly.

Across the room, Taza chuckled. He and Bishop were leaned against a wall watching the charters mingle. Other charters would join them tomorrow to prepare for the big meeting with SAMCRO. Taza had been looking to check on Megan when he saw Hank pull her into his lap. It looked like a serious conversation, so he’d kept an eye on them - until it suddenly became a make out session.

Bishop nudged him with a smile. “That looks like it’s going well.”

Taza laughed. “Yeah. I walked in on it this morning too. Embarrassed the hell out of Megan.”

“She doesn’t look too embarrassed now, brother.” BIshop chuckled. “I’m glad he’s doing it right though. Best way he’s got right now to make it clear she’s off the menu.”

Taza nodded. “I honestly think he’d mark her tonight if his mama wouldn’t murder him.”

“Really? He’s that sure of her?” Bishop asked, sipping on a beer.

Taza sipped his own. “Yeah. He’s that sure. Doesn’t let me do shit for her at home. I offered to sit with her one night so he could sleep and he refused outright.”

“Hmmm. What about her?” Bish asked.

“Oh she’s completely in love. She doesn’t know quite how to handle that though. Keeps trying to do things like she used to for Jimmy.”

Bishop winced and glanced sharply at the man under his god daughter. “Hank shutting that shit down?”

Taza chuckled. “Hard, but he’s careful about it. Doesn’t make her feel stupid. Apparently she even had a freak out last night because she couldn’t cook for Mama Loza. Hank told me after he put her to bed.”

Bishop sighed and shook his head. “Those bastards really did a number on her head, huh?”

Taza nodded again solemnly. “But that -” he indicated where Megan and Hank were. Hank was shifting her closer to his body and kissing her at the same time. “That will do more good that any head shrink.”

“Truth, hermano.” They clinked bottles and then turned back to the pool game Coco was playing.

Meanwhile, Hank shifted to press kisses to Megan’s jaw and neck and let her catch her breath. He nuzzled the small patch of skin behind her ear with a chuckle. “Told you we’d find time, didn’t I?” he whispered.

Megan giggled and pressed a kiss to each of his cheekbones. “You’re still a tease. Got me all riled up…”

He smiled against her skin and rubbed his hands up and down her jean clad thighs before gripping her hips to hold her close. “Told you - only a tease if you don’t plan to follow through.” He bit ever so gently on the side of her neck.

Megan gasped softly and tilted her head back to give him more access to her neck as her hips pressed tight to Hank’s. 

“Mmm. Mi Princessa likes that.” His hands slid around to rest on her back pockets as he took advantage of the skin exposed by her v-neck shirt. He pressed kissed to her collar bones and the tops of her breasts. Then he gentled his touch with a groan. “Easy, baby. Easy.” He drew her back into a kiss with his hand cupping her neck. “We’ve got to slow down.”

Megan whined and slid her good hand up to cup his neck. “Don’t want to…”

Hank chuckled and nudged her jaw with his nose before kissing her again. “I know mi Princessa. Me neither.” His other hand slid under the edge of her t-shirt to stroke the skin at her waist. “But we are on the couch in another charter’s clubhouse with your papa and both of your godfathers in eyesight. I’d like to keep my dick attached until I can show you how I can use it, Princessa.”

That made Megan snort with laughter and bury her face in the side of his neck. She struggled to muffle her giggles.

Hank chuckled as well and wrapped both arms around her soothingly. He pressed kisses to her hair and rocked gently back and forth as he smiled. “You know I want you, right mi princessa?”

Megan nodded as she calmed.

“Good. I promise, I won’t start something that I can’t finish - eventually,” he whispered.

Megan relaxed into him with a sigh. “I know.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “I trust you, Hank.”

Eventually, people started to settle down. Marco had been sitting with Megan and Hank for about an hour when the elders came to join them.

“How you doing, Chica?” Taza asked as Megan yawned widely.

Megan shook her head. “I’m fine, Papa. Hank just gave me another dose of my medicine.”

“I wasn’t asking for your pain level, sweet girl. Are you exhausted yet?”

She shook her head stubbornly. “I’m okay.”

Bishop chuckled. “Sure you are. Give it a few minutes, Marco, and she’ll be sound asleep.” He sipped his whiskey. “Only girl I know who sleeps soundly in the middle of a biker bar.”

Marcus grinned. “She’s safest there, right Poquito?”

Megan smiled. “Can’t be safer than in the middle of all my favorite people.” 

Marco saluted her with his own bottle. “True enough.”

She snuggled down close to Hank’s side and listened as the men discussed the weird places they’d found each other sleeping throughout all the years they’d known each other. All in all, she decided that her sleeping on Hank or Taza at the clubhouse was very tame in comparison.

A few minutes later, Marco chuckled and pointed a finger at a sleeping Megan. She’d been leaned up against Hank’s side with his arm tucked safely around her as he stroked her skin while they talked. “And… she’s out. Does that a lot, huh?”

Hank smiled and shifted to let her pillow her head on his though while Taza pulled her feet into his lap. “Enough. She has nightmares a lot. PTSD shit. Keeps her up for hours after one sometimes even with me there.” He stroked her hair gently. Bishop started looking for her jacket to cover her with. “So when she gets quiet and still - she falls asleep for a bit.”

Marco nodded. “I did the same after my stint as a P.O.W. Makes sense from what you’ve told me about her situation.” He sipped his beer. “At least she’s safe now. Both those bastards are dead.”

Marcus smiled. “She’s getting better though. Even just in the week I’ve been here - I can see the difference. She doesn’t flinch at loud voices now.”

Bishop came back with her leather riding jacket and draped it over her. “You can thank Angel’s loud ass for that. He about gave her a heart attack a few days ago at the ranch, but he fixed it.”

Taza chuckled. “And earned himself more yard time at the same time.”

Marcus chuckled. “At least you didn’t have to take him to the cage again. Is he just about healed up from that?”

Bishop grinned. “Yeah. All the superficial shit is healed. Ribs are still sore though, I imagine.”

“Good. Maybe it’ll make the lesson stick.” Marcus looked at Marco. “You spread the word about Poquito to our guys,right? They all know the markers and that she’s off limits?”

Marco nodded. “Si Padrino. And I let them know who they’d be in the cage with if they fucked up. Oakland will guard la princessa well.”

“Good.” Marcus let his eyes rest on the sleeping Megan for a moment before he looked at Hank. “Tranq - hermano - I know she fights you on it, but she needs spoiling.”

Hank chuckled and tucked a strand of hair back into her braid. “I know. We just haven’t left the ranch in days because of her pain levels. Did Taza tell you she was refusing pain medication?”

Marco hissed. “With a broken wrist AND collarbone?”

Taza nodded. “And cracked ribs and head trauma as well.”

Marco cursed quietly in Spanish. “No wonder she didn’t fucking sleep.”

Bishop sighed. “Yeah. And we - “ he indicated his club flash, “didn’t check in enough to know she needed different meds or Taza and Hank would have had her in better shape by now. She’s only been on pain medication for about 24 hours.” He sipped more whiskey.

Hank snorted. “And Taza and I were too tired to think to ask for help. She’s much easier now. We just had to find something she’d take.”

Marco frowned. “What do you mean ‘something she’d take’?”

Taza explained, as he patted her legs. “Megan doesn’t even drink. Not even a beer. She hates not being in complete control of herself. Anything that makes her ‘floaty’ is a no go with her. Even the pain meds when she’s got broken bones.”

Bishop nodded. “So when we found out she wasn’t taking her meds, I talked to Creeper to see what she might take and got it from our street contacts.”

Hank smoothed a hand down her side as she shifted with a whimper. She quieted at his touch. “Now we just get to ride herd on her to make her rest while still keeping her pain levels down.” He chuckled and looked at Marco. “Man, she’s a fucking FORCE when she gets going. You caught a glimpse of it with that asshole that night, but that’s not the half of it. She did that cold. No training.” He smiled down at her softly with pride. “She’s learning to box now. And she can already shoot any fucking thing with a trigger - and shoot it accuratly.” 

Marco chuckled. “A true badass chick. Just what you need brother.”

Hank grinned, but never took his eyes off Megan. “Just what I need.”

Bishop sat back in his seat and looked at Hank thoughtfully. “When will you mark her?”

Hank looked startled. “Mark her? We said at the table that was for wives.”

Bishop looked at Taza with a grin. “No. We said that was for Ol’ Ladies - no one said a fucking thing about wifing someone being a requirement.”

Taza chuckled. “He has a point. We said the tattoos were for wives - doesn’t mean you can’t mark her with jewelry, hermano.”

Marcus laughed. “That’s true - and don’t tell me you don’t have her tattoo planned, hermano.”

Hank brushed careful fingers along her hairline at the back of her neck. “A few actually.” He thought it over before looking at Taza. “What do you think, Taza? I won’t do it if you say no. You’re her Papa.”

Taza smiled. “I may be her Papa, Hank, but you’re her caballero. Her knight in black leather. The Arthur to her Guinevere. We’re headed into a meeting with Samcro - you claiming her will mean a lot more than any claim the rest of us have on her. Only the ones who respect us,” he indicated himself, as well as Marcus and Bishop, “will respect her as Princessa. As your reina though -”

Marcus smirked. “Tomorrow, la princessa becomes tu reina. I have just the jeweler too. We’ll go see him tomorrow while Taza and Bishop distract Megan with birthday shopping. I need to pick up one of her gifts from there anyway.”

Hank smiled a little and looked down at Megan sleeping in his lap. 

Taglist:

@jemmakates

@msjava1972

@drabbles-mc

@delightfulheroshoeflap

@xeniarocks

@iamthegraham

@lyly00

[jazzfordshire]

you're in my blood, like holy wine (COMPLETE)

At long last, Practical Magic AU is complete. We have magic! We have love confessions!! We have a happy ending!!! Dive in at your leisure my friends

“I know you said you shouldn’t get too close to me,” Kara murmurs, holding Lena tightly against herself as their swaying slows. “That you’re afraid. But I can't do the same. I can’t stop myself.”

“Neither can I,” Lena admits in a whisper. “Not with you.”

Lena’s eyes are closed, letting the song and the closeness and the pure feeling of the night wash over her.

Some tension leaves Kara’s body.

“I am so in love with you, Lena.”

Kara’s breath shudders as she says it. Almost a laugh. A sound of relief, of anxiety, of inevitability. The song ends, and their swaying comes to a stop.

Lena wants to say it back. She feels it. She does love Kara, so deeply that it feels like it’s embedded in the marrow of her bones. Why is saying it so different? Why does it stick in her throat?

There’s no pressure or expectation in Kara’s face when Lena pulls back slightly to meet her eyes. Just pure adoration. But she deserves to know that Lena feels it, too.

Lena does everything she can to show Kara in a kiss.

Read it here!!

[uncanny-tranny]

I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):

Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry

You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.

If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible

When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps

If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry

Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences

Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)

Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start

The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough

Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them

While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least

Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly

Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"

If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.

If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though

If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)

These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.

Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.

More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛

[rockethorse]

Should I be allowed to include Sims 2 Store/preorder/exchange content in Calcinidae Bay

There are several reasons why I'm keeping Calcinidae Bay CC-free but first and foremost it's to see "how far can I get with only TS2 Maxis content?" and so there's always this nagging voice in the back of my head saying "but this is TS2 Maxis content".

Lots that I share will remain CC-free, and I'm not including Stories conversions. Only things made by EA, for TS2.

[muirmarie]

these are from different stories, but can I just say how nice it feels to have the words coming - not easy, per se, but definitely easier than they have the last couple of years?? i am definitely having more fun, put it that way. i think i get too in my head sometimes re: trying to make something good, and forget to just personally have fun with the process without worrying about the result. and the worst is that i'm actually confident in my writing! so it's not that i'm worried about creating something not good, tbh, just. not perfect. oof it's the perfection thing again isn't it. of course it is. ughhhh.

ANYWAY. these (again from different stories) made me giggle:

“Wooing? No, no, Mr. Spock, I don't believe Dr. McCoy would take too well to being wooed. That's why I intend to trick him into a relationship with us.”

“I did try to evacuate the ship, Captain. They...” Scotty winces, “they may have committed a wee mutiny. Although as I was already committing a wee mutiny, I suspect the two might actually cancel out.”

[charismaquark]

Finally watched Goncharov (1973) and while I’m not generally into mafia movies... the Fruit Stand Scene???!!!

THIS LIVES RENT-FREE IN MY MIND NOW.

Katya gives Sofia the apple. Sofia hands Katya the pomegranate. The Eve-Persephone parallels (women whose destinies changed irrevocably after being tricked into eating a piece of fruit) are SPECIFICALLY invoked. But the real question is, which one is which?

The framing of the scene suggests that Sofia is Eve (about to lose her sense of innocence and be inducted into the knowledge of evil), and that Katya is Persephone (trapped by a marriage that binds her forever to the (criminal) underworld). Except, that also makes no sense because we don't see them eat the fruit. How could they reap the consequences for an action they didn't actually take?

I would argue that it's not about the fruits they RECEIVE... it's about the ones they OFFER. The fruits they have already eaten, and been doomed by.

Sofia doesn't need to learn about evil. She lost her whole family. She knows enough about evil already. And Katya doesn't need to be bound to anything, when her own choices have left her so deeply entrenched.

"That’s the first lesson. Always blame the Devil for your crimes." (0:15:24)

Katya is Eve. Katya got roped into this mess a long time ago and has so many regrets now that she understands what it all means. Katya plays her piano in the room next to a murder, not because she doesn't know what's going on, but because she DOES. Katya wishes more than anything that she could turn back the clock to some idyllic time before her daughter died, before she joined the mafia, before she ever had to steal a purse or put a gun to a man's head. She tries so hard to end that cycle of violence... and it doesn't work. It was never going to work. The Apple of Eden isn't part of a cycle; it's just the beginning of the story.

"Don’t you dare speak to me about Cosenza." (1:20:41)

Sofia is Persephone. Sofia is constantly arguing that murder isn't necessary- but she also nearly drowns Katya, and shows a bizarre fascination with death when Katya threatens her with the knife. Sofia is linked to nature (the green dress, the sunset motif, the vase of flowers in her first scene) but in paltry, disconnected ways (her dress has metal buttons, the sunsets are over the city, the flowers are halfway to wilting). Sofia is part of a cycle; moments of happiness and joy, interspersed and defined by recurring instances of death and violence. Her childhood in WW2. The incident where she lost her leg. Whatever happened that made her learn how to use a gun. Her whole bloodied dynamic with Katya now. But Sofia CAN escape... for a time. She can walk away from the violence and have her summer in the sunlight. At least until tragedy strikes again.

Which makes the ending of the movie really bittersweet. Sofia sails away on the boat (Charon's Ferry, making a reverse trip across the River Styx). And the scene closes as the first snowflakes start to fall. Winter comes to Naples, because spring follows Persephone when she leaves.

How long until she comes back?

[sysig]

Go play, ambassador, go play ambassador (Patreon)

[girlscience]

Okay, obviously I have some body image issues. This is very clear to pretty much everyone who knows me. I have had them since I hit about 10 years old I think? That gives me 15 years of disliking the way I look, for one reason or another. I have tried a lot of things throughout that time to change my perception of myself. And currently, I feel like I am stuck in a weird place that I can't figure out how to escape.

I understand that there are studies now showing that dieting and working out don't actually work long term for most people. I know that getting into that mostly causes things like yo-yo dieting and circular weight gain/loss. I know that being fat is being shown to not actually be unhealthy in the ways it has often been shown as and perceived to be. I know that literally all the media everywhere is blasting me with idealized bodies that pretty much do not exist or only exist through extremely unsustainable/unhealthy means.

I have tried for so long to believe in and promote body neutrality or positivity for myself and other people. I constantly refuse to let myself think about what I see in the mirror or in pictures. I tell myself to get exercise for the physical and mental health benefits, not for my physical appearance. I try to view my body for what it can do and not how it looks. I tell myself to live the life I want to live now, rather than waiting to live it till I have the body I imagine living that life. Without exaggeration, I am fairly certain I think about these things every single day.

And none of it is working.

I actually feel I dislike my appearance now more than I did even a year ago. I feel like I am constantly noticing things about my body that I never did before or new changes to my body, and I am deeply uncomfortable with them. And I want to do something about it, and clearly simply changing my mentality isn't doing anything. I want to diet and exercise. But I also know it likely won't be a permanent change. I am concerned that I would give myself an eating disorder. And I'm also concerned that I would be feeding into diet/exercise culture. I am worried about hurting the people around me who are also fat. I am anxious about the fact that I am not actually that large so I don't want to talk about it with other people because I know it will make people who are larger than I am feel terrible. I don't want to make other people who are gaining weight feel bad for that. But, I hate the way I look.

This is not sustainable. At some point something will break and I think it might end up being my brain. I am worried about how that would end up. The things I do for my brain and my body shouldn't be about how it might affect other people, it should be for me. But I don't want to be bad for the things I do. I want and have wanted for so long to look like a powerbuilder/warrior/dwarf/strongman lifter/crossfit athlete/etc. I want to be big. I want to be visibly strong and powerful. And I am absolutely not. And I know I struggle with commitment and discipline and all of that, but I also know I struggle a lot with how this desire appears to other people.

Really, I think what this is all coming down to is other people's opinions. I dislike the way I look and am told that's bad. I want to change the way I look and I'm told that's bad. I do nothing and get told that's bad. I have to want these things for the right reason, in the right way, and have to talk about it right all the time. And I just can't. I don't like the way I look and I wish I looked like a brick shithouse and everyone else can fucking suck it.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

it is with a Heavy Sigh that i must report: microdosing on the pomodoro method fucking WORKS, for typing purposes

[electronerd47]

Hihi !! ☺️ Can’t remember when we last chatted 😅, but I wrote relationship headcanons tn, and thought they might be comforting to you. 🥺🫶🏽 Hope you + your son are doing alright, and that winter’s treating you well. ❄️

i wish I could put into words how much it means to me that you continue to reach out to me, even if i'm not doing too much reaching back 💜💜💜 i'm terrible at this stuff 😭 so thank you so much for thinking of me!!

winter has been hot and cold lol, it's mostly been fine but my, my son, and his dad all got sick!! dad's over it, me n baby are still going through it. like ugh 🙄😂 i'm handling it like a total baby bc my ears keep getting that plugged up feeling and i just CANNOT deal!! my son is taking it like a champ. aside from coughing, snot nose, and some bad moods, he's still raring at 110% all. the. time. 😂 toddlers!

I'm going to read these headcanons as soon as possible. your writing is always so comforting, even when it's angsty. you're just an amazingly skilled and super-talented author!! ilysm ❤️

[commonwealthoccurences]

im aro (who just has a weakness for your fics which is peculiar for me bc reader inserts don't normally interest me but yours oof hits just the right spot) and i have an intense discomfort for valentine's day so i have almost every varient of it blacklisted. unfortunately, that means tumblr hides your nick valentine fics which i find both funny and annoying lmaoo however it does somewhat help me bc when i actually catch the 'post hidden bc blacklist' im like !!!!! oh shit!!! time to catch up and i binge read including going back to some of my faves ahahah

anyways this ask was just to say hi keep being amazing i love your work and i hope that life treats you as kindly as you treat your readers!!!!! 💛

Ohhhh this is so lovely!! I'm glad that you enjoy my writing and I'll definitely make a note to put out more platonic stuff in the future for all of my aro followers (: It's too bad about the tag thing I didn't even think of that! Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's any way for me to work around it otherwise I definitely would. But I'm glad you find your way back here when you can and enjoy what I write (which, I will fully admit other than BTE, is few and far between nowadays). This blog and anons like you have been invaluable as writing for fo4 and getting feedback on my writing has helped me build my writing skills for my original works and I hold my original project very close to my heart. In a roundabout way, y'all have helped me out with it, and I try to give as much love back to everyone who reads my fanfic in return (: I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!! (And don't worry about your other ask, no offense was taken and I definitely agree on the way that games like fo4 can function as character or player inserts (: )

[jorvikzelda]

the note in the jorvikpov masterdoc next to the prompt/summary for the next one saying July 19th vs. the date on my computer saying 2023-08-06: fight

[i-am-become-a-name]

but see, there’s still so much I need to know about the holograms. Thirteen created them only to activate in the direst circumstances, via the wee implants she oh so subtly transferred to Tegan, Ace, and Yaz. But what powers them? surely something implanted by static electricity doesn’t have the presence for a power source. But light requires power, and where are the holograms drawing it from that they’re so restricted to stay within a certain distance of the companion? (Are they harnessing the electricity that runs through humans? are they parasites, each moment they’re active slowly draining away seconds from their host’s lifespans?)

And why does she implant them in Tegan and Ace at all? Yaz is integral to her plans, being her current companion, but those two were unexpected elements. Is it an act to aplogise? to make right the bad partings they had shared? or is it an act of manipulation, in making right these wrongs to ensure in them an impetus to do what is right, to throw themselves right back into danger after 35+ years of no contact to save the world (and her.) And of course they do, they were companions, they have that steel and moral strength and duty to do what they can to save, but were the holograms implanted without that surety in the mind of the Doctor? Because neither really explain the plan to their past companions - Tegan and five have that heartbreaking exchange, but he doesn’t reveal anything to her she didn’t already know plan-wise (and lbr, she knew he cared deeply about Adric’s death and his friends, but hearing it from his mouth was something different. And following on for the manipulation point, wasn’t ‘brave heart’ what he would say to her in the past as encouragement for something fatally dangerous that was about to happen?) and Ace and Seven have their moment, but none of it is directly to follow whatever the hell plan thirteen is fumbling together- both Tegan and Ace are already in the middle of their parts of the plan. And sure, for the audience it’s cathartic and heartbreaking all in one, but as part of the plot it’s thirteen making sure her chess pieces are all where they should be and playing their parts.

also it’s not necessarily only when the doctor’s dying that the hologram appears. Yeah she starts it off with “if you’re seeing this, I’m dead.” but later clarifies “it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I’m no longer around” but buddy, I do not trust the Doctor. Oh the gravest circumstances. Oh this a test for you Ace, tell me about this house. JK it’s the house you burnt down in a moment of grief and trauma as a teenager and I want to know why. Hold this button in the TARDIS, Rose. It will help us conquer the daleks (jk it’s sending you home.) The Doctor’s been manipulating their companions ever since The Daleks, if not even in An Unearthly Child. If I’m no longer around is not if I’m dead.

[muirmarie]

hey quick question why do I keep ending up with plot. where is all this plot coming from. I do not Want this plot. I specifically requested a no plot story next. someone please come take this plot away from me.

[remyfire]

Now that chapter 4's out and the aforementioned narrative shift I made and hinted at in the summary is explicitly stated (that Beej is, in fact, allowed to fuck around with men), I can officially say that when I rewatched WTK the other day while introducing my friend to it, I recontextualized it in the sense of local lonely codependent man who has never done well with long distance has walked off this plane instantly looking for whoever is going to be his intimacy rock while he's here, and he just happened to be lucky enough to find him in the first 30 seconds, and he KNOWS it, and so instead of it being a long game to find a man he feels chemistry with, it becomes a question of seeing if he's safe with him or not, and it made it a much more devastating watch.

Just a whole extra layer of honey, you've got a big storm coming, in addition to, you know, the USUAL bullshit he has to live through over the next year or two.

[dameronalone]

staring at a rogue one afterlife fic I started writing a couple years ago trying to figure out where I was going with it