#I've done a few and it's a pain... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago

Text

Learning to celebrate the little wins!

#fersona #While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day #I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!

2K notes · View notes

benevolenterrancy · 8 months ago

Text

("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)

#svsss #bingqiu #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #lbh #sqq #i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss #the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently #and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything #it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg #as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it #everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person #each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it #at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same #and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical #because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING #aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying #but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line #anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series #i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix #i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship #bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once #bizarre #my art

713 notes · View notes

shim-changmin · 5 months ago

Text

DPR IAN + SKINS DEMO MV (2023)

184 notes · View notes

sysig · 1 year ago

Photo

Two skeletons in a trench lab coat (Patreon)

Bonus:

He’s very careful! Everything was fine before you interrupted!

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #FJdlsafjdsf Handplates fuzzes my brain #I cannot tell you how weird it feels to draw Gaster with the Lost Soul head after all this time away haha #It drops me back into the person I was when I first read Handplates - for better or for worse. It's a very strange feeling #Even drawing Sans and Papyrus again sends me back! Not as strongly but certain little details stand out #Sans' eyes especially... Very strange feeling #Anyhow! Since Fellplates sent me back down the rabbit hole and I've gotten back into rereading lightly - still not a full commitment!#Maybe soon tho 👀 I feel like I always say that haha #But in the meantime thinking of the pre-Plates Handplates time period <3 Since that's the one I'm still most familiar with haha #I love when they're still growing and learning ♪ Scaffolded baby talk! Twin language! Love 'em ♥#And fearless* mischievous little troublemakers hehe #They're so cute <3 I love the little ways they interact as young'uns - like when Papyrus will just lift Sans by his arms lol #I'd been thinking about and then had to go read the one of Sans as a the blanket/coat tickle monster and then - this ✨#''Excuse me sir I'd like One Ticket to the R Rated movie I am an adult Monster'' lol #Probably another one of those moments where Gaster is just *nervously sweats in Dad* lol - stop being so cute!#Also there's no particular meaning to when I use WingDings for his text :P Just convenience and if I remember to lol #Comics where he talks a lot are not convenient XP I have enough trouble editing on this paper ugh I will Not miss it when it's done #Even attempted this comic in as few pencil strokes/erasing as possible and it was still a pain to work with! >:0 Rude #Doubly so that I've had a Handplates comic idea for past like - year lol - and /this/ was the first one I finished pfftbl #To be fair to the other I do want to at least attempt making it a look-alike hehe ♪ You know how it is with Ideas™#I can't be too mad about it haha ♫ It did turn out quite cute after all :3

855 notes · View notes

balkanradfem · 6 months ago

Text

I had a dream that I was buying a house high up in the mountains, it was wooden and had a wooden table in it. I woke up happy, and my neck is hurting less than it did yesterday. A good start!

#i'm so happy about less pain #bless #i've developed some new weird issues in the last few weeks #but its so odd i don't even know if i should talk about it #if i told my doctor she would just be like #im done with your bs #stop being weird

25 notes · View notes

tulipfemme · 6 months ago

Text

life is so much more scary when ur in pain all the time im ngl!!!!!

#i've been in bed all week bc of being sick so i wasn't in that much pain #but now im trying to catch up on stuff that needs done before trip (sunday) and i hurttttttt holy shit #i was supposed to be resting the next few days but nooooo some assholes had to come to christmas with a cold!!!!!!#p

13 notes · View notes

destinationtoast · 2 years ago

Text

It's really, really nice to have a doctor say, "Oh yeah, that makes sense" after years of having people tell you your pattern of pain can't be happening and/or is inexplicable!

103 notes · View notes

kandicon · 1 year ago

Text

*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*

#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz #today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz #but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he #trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian #and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses #to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is #(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die #manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside #BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before #I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a #spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into #so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron #but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma #reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis #in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions #of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately #attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the #shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he #round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz #(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)

50 notes · View notes

katya-goncharov · 22 hours ago

Text

ugh, wisdom teeth pain is back AGAIN

#it was so bad last year that i literally had to get an extension on my master's degree dissertation bc i couldn't concentrate through the #pain. and i've been on the waiting list to get them removed for like 3 years now so it's just really annoying that it flares up so badly #every few months and nothing gets done. and i'm worried my teeth will just be permanently pushed out of place by the time they #actually get removed

3 notes · View notes

evreeone · 14 days ago

Text

jesus christ i need a Break

can't tell if the threat of homelessness is real again or if it's just the occurrence of similar events that came up the first time that are triggering those old memories

i've been trying not to stress about it because there's not much i can really do but in doing my Teeth Care routine for the night i randomly spit out small shards of tooth

which i think is the side effect of a complication of a health condition i Do have diagnosed but don't have treated because they don't know the cause

and let me tell u. managing my stress is just that much more different

though it might explain the face, eye and tooth pains that i can't afford to really have tended

anyone know of an entirely online job that requires no skill in anything and is extremely tolerant of wildly unstable availability times asking for a friend

#health talk #and other things #i also walked to an appointment a few days ago and even though it was just 2 miles and i felt mostly fine the day of ive been #basically bedridden in the wake of it #had to explain that to family and was given the advice of 'u just need to push through the pain everyone is in pain get over it'#like idk how to tell you this but i've literally done that already and it makes things worse #one day of pushing through the pain tends to lead to several days with too much fatigue and chronic pain and inflammation to even #tend my basic needs well

2 notes · View notes

vessmar · 5 months ago

Text

update hi, despite everything it's vess again but don't ask about his hair (can't be bothered to detail it what else is new !!)

#moss draws.#vesper.#i've been trying to start up writing again #the last few days mostly #bc my steroid run is almost finished and i am tired and in pain but free #i feel human again and i want to get back to my hobbies so bad #points to vess #like this drawing #i've only done a couple doodles since the end of october #i went from 1 drawing per day to like 2 months without anything #and i am desperate

3 notes · View notes

righteousdelusions · 3 months ago

Text

"fanfiction needs more bad sex!!" ... if you say so. write it then c:

#i won't read it but i'll cheer you up #like it's not even a thing of erectile dysfunction or back pain #it's like.... it's not that it isn't valid for people to want mediocre sex in fanfiction it's just....#why #and if you like it so much as you say you do.... why aren't you writing about it?#get me?#it's like #it's an easy post to make; it makes you seem like you're illuminated; deconstructed; inclusive #but then you still go and read and write omegaverse fics where they are destined mates #like you see what i mean?#personally i like good sex in fanfiction but that doesn't mean there can't be funny shenanigans #and also i have read a few 'bad sex' fanfics that were mostly about character studies #i like those c:#also while i think complaining about mainstream tropes or what the industry sells you is really valid #nowadays i have really low tolerance for complaining about fanfiction #it's not that i've never done it; sometimes i think what's trending in fanfiction circles it's really hecking stupid #but if i want a change in the world (of fanfiction) i have to write it myself and if i have no energy for that then shut up and don't go to #the tag #does this make sense

3 notes · View notes

werewolf-kat · 1 year ago

Text

Going to keep an eye on things while on a newly prescribed medicine for my heart, but occasionally I've been feeling like crying from joy/relief. I didn't know it was possible to live with little to zero chest pain and other issues on a daily basis.

I started feeling its improvements on day 2, and then all day yesterday has been like a literal weight off my chest. Slept a bit for the night, woke up around 4am and I'm just... Breathing so comfortably. I feel relaxed. That feeling of pressure in my chest is hardly there anymore.

This cardiologist said I'd notice changes after just a day or two if it helps. And it's happening!!

Guess it's very much confirming I've had pericarditis for who-knows-how-long. Could've been overlooked since having my cardiac ablation in 2019. Been so freaking rough living with this stuff. All my symptoms were assumed to be part of my WPW Syndrome ('cause the ablation didn't get all of the accessory pathways.) This sort of inflammation can be caused by heart procedures though. -sigh- Why didn't anyone watch out for that or suspect it earlier?

I'll be having a new echo done in a month or two (forgot which appointment date it is among other tests coming up). Crossing my fingers I don't have the pericardia effusion there anymore too if the pericarditis is getting tackled by this new med! 🤞

#for some reason no one could confirm the pericarditis part with all these test and checkups I've done since-#-the WPW diagnosis and emergency procedure in my 2019 hospital stay #everyone assumed my symptoms were from WPW syndrome and that this random bit of fluid around my heart sac was just idiopathic #but this cardiologist I went to on Tuesday questioned me on a few things and got VERY suspicious about my condition #so she took a huuuuge guess of confidence in letting me try a safe dose of some med for pericarditis and other heart diseases #I let myself test that theory too... 'Cause something about my symptoms haven't felt all the fault of my WPW #it's been frustrating for so long man #if this relief and recovery keeps up I might actually get to feel safe exercising again and keeping my heart healthy without pain #I NEED to do physical activity and cardio especially with all the heart diseases that run in the family #but also I genuinely like exercise and wanna do strength training... I've felt so empty and dead inside without my fitness lifestyle I had-#-before my heart problems got so bad at the end of high school #that's how long it's been dude #that in itself is a long story uuughhh #wk speaks #feelings #personal #medicine #physical health #cardiology

7 notes · View notes

overchromatic · 1 year ago

Text

how the fuck am i supposed to focus on drawing when i have minecraft 😭😭😭

#liazrad talks #i just redownloaded it a few days ago and I've been playing in a survival server with my buddies #we've made so much progress but goddamn. i can't focus on ANYTHING ELSE.#like girl i have commissions to do. and i gotta start packing cuz i gotta move out in less than a month #also. playing Minecraft for long periods leaves me with arm and back pain so after im done playing i can't do shit until i recover #the price of funny block game 😔

14 notes · View notes

tea-and-secrets · 5 months ago

Note

Johnanon here, asking that all further asks from me be tagged with "#🛻"

It'd make for easier tracking on my behalf down the line is all. Thank you. I'll put reminders to tag before my asks.

- ASPDanon/Johnanon/🛻

hi! I know i've done this for a few people in the past, but I can't guarantee I can ID-tag asks like this! (the reason being that I would have to keep track of special tags, which gets complicated as more and more people give me ID tagging requests)

I will tag the next ask you submit, ASPDanon, but none after that, regardless of who is sending them! thank you for understanding :]

#there's also the minimal chance of tags being used to back-trace secrets (a negligible fear but i'm not comfortable enabling it in any case)#again i know i've done it for a few people in the past.... but no more!!! slippery slope fallacy. you understand #i'm sorry if this is disappointing! i know it's a pain to scroll through secrets and wait for yours to appear :(#i'm thinking about closing the ask box again to let queue run it's course but not sure yet!#not a submission #🛻

5 notes · View notes

elytrafemme · 6 months ago

Text

the unintended byproduct of having the finch app where the cute bird helps you do self care is that after you open the app she will send you little notifications throughout the day being like hiiii my day is great how are you doing which is great i guess generally but right now i'm like. back in the throes of cptsd issues and also crying over a doctor's appointment so i don't really care how your day is going lychee. and then i feel guilty because lychee the bird has only ever loved me but like i don't. care. right now.

#i should be like. content. all my labs came back normal except vitamin d is a little low #and my mom is trying to remind me that because my labs are normal that means i'm taking care of myself #and because i'm doing that this isn't my fault (i know that's maybe flawed reasoning globally but it's applicable here at least)#and that hypermobility plus vitamin d makes sense for a lot of the pain like. collagen. makes sense #but it doesn't explain everything and my solution is i have to strength train and exercise and like i DO exercise #i take walks frequently and i know strength training isn't something i've done but like. i guess it's my fault i haven't?#like my dad is just going to appear saying i told you so habibti i told you this years ago . i don't know #i didn't WANT to have some lifelong condition that wasn't my desire but. like. this doesn't. feel right to me #i had a lot of ambitions today but i think i've been productive enough. think i'm just going to cry for a few hours #maybe it's the idea that this will just Go Away and i should have made it Go Away #that it isn't chronic pain because it can just go away if i just Get Stronger. that i can't be mad at it because im in control of it #but if it was something else then it wouldn't be my fault because i couldn't control it. but now it's like. i should have known #neg

6 notes · View notes