#I've never found a site like this before so it was kind of exciting

[herd-reject-arts]

Found an illegal dump site today. Only took the one photo, but there were 5 partial whitetail deer skeletons across maybe a quarter mile of the road. All were shot (shotgun shells present and pellets in some of the bones/on the ground near the bones). Found two doe skulls, and I'm pretty certain it's illegal to kill female deer. Processing the bones I recovered over the next couple of weeks. There were so many vertebral disks, so I'm gonna have a field day making heart-shaped stuff from those :3

[running-with-kn1ves]

hii! i wanted to ask if you could do a yandere kidnapper x yandere darling? like rich depressed yan that can't imagine living without their darling and ended up taking drastic action, only to find out that darling is way more insane and obsessed passionate than they thought

A/N: I've never been super big on the yan x yan trope but I think this came out kinda cool! Hope this is what you were looking for <3

Synopsis: Sneaking into your beloved's bedroom bent on getting pictures for your stash, you're quickly found by him, who's surprisingly enthusiastic to find you breaking in.

CW: Kidnapping, mutual obsession, shrine dedications, murder (offscreen lol)

WC:3000+

“Nice… new pics for the blog.” 

Your camera click click clicked with a shutter noise each time you rapid fired its capture button, eye so close to the screen you might as well be looking through the viewfinder solely itself. 

“I can see it now… his unkept bedroom revealed, beautiful little face plastered beside this… heap.” 

You looked at the pile of dirty clothes that had yet to be picked up by the estate's cleaning ladies. Well, if you were as filthy rich as he was, you’d probably do the same. Who would waste time cleaning their room when you have the whole world to see? Or in his case, a million press conferences to attend. 

Your eye was drawn to a slightly ajar closet, an odd lock seeming to have been hastily unfastened, now leaving the doors peeking open. Something red was inside. Oh boy, you could hardly contain your excitement. 

What kind of secrets would the famous, wealthy heir Elijah Walsh have in his teensy private closet? Mayhaps some drag dress up that no fan would expect? Dead bodies? Or even, the rumored cocaine stash his poor daddy was accused of hiding? 

You knew Elijah like the back of your hand, unable to imagine any kind of hidden truths that you haven't already discovered. For you, a superfan, (and ultimately, the soulmate he doesn't know about yet) were aware of far more than the average tabloid who didn’t cross trespassing boundaries for love like you had. 

You ripped open the doors without hesitation, snapping pics before even turning the light on. 

But what you saw, was something you weren’t sure you’d want to keep on camera. 

It was you. Well, a picture of you, from some yearbook or singled-out group shot that you couldn’t pinpoint the exact year from. Around your awkward grinning face was a series of items, pinned on a pretty red board like it was a crime scene of sorts. Or maybe… a shrine?

“What the f… is that my underwear??” You looked at the old pair of stretched out undies you had since middle school. Definitely not the pair you’d want some kind of stalker or investigator to get their hands on. 

You saw a few old chapsticks taped to the board, one of which you had been searching for in some old bag you swore you left it in. “I was looking for those!” You grabbed the chapstick and a broken brush, the exact same you thought you had thrown away months ago. 

Out of all the things you hoped to find-- used Q-tips, one of his musky jackets, maybe even some dark sex toys-- this wasn’t on your list. But you couldn’t help the spike in your heart, the flutter that made your toes point inward. 

You had been running this journalist (really a stalker-ish) blog on Elijah since before he got big in the press. You went to the same elementary school and for a short time in middle school, and ever since you couldn’t get his name out of your head. Now, you had a justified reason to keep tabs on him, since his family was currently in the public eye for a variety of deeds. 

Along with professing your obsession with him since childhood, your blog dated the shocking events of his controversies--  keeping it all under an anonymous pen name, of course. You had information news sites couldn’t get their hands on; the dedication you put into watching him was a trait of pride you could never let go. 

Memories of him comforted you at night, and seeing his pretty face in the grocery store magazines hoarded under your bed made you drift off to daydream land where, maybe, you’d be more than just some heavy breathing keyboard jammer fawning over him from a distance.. 

And here was, you. Your things. In his room. Even from the times you climbed the tree beside his window, you never saw this… anomaly of items. 

“What’s this even… mean.” You whispered, dumfounded and growing antsy. Elijah would be coming back now any second, the route of his driver dinging on your phone. 

‘Wait.. does he, know? That I’ve been watching him? Is this all evidence to… incriminate me??’

Worry was creeping up inside of you. But there was no time, not when a heavy vase clunked against your head from behind, letting out a resounding ‘crack!’ from the contact. The chapstick fell from your fingers, camera sliding with you as it lingered loose around your neck. 

The last thing you could think of before darkness hit, was ‘man, I hope I don’t fall on my camera… can’t replace it again. ‘

The unconscious darkness blinding your eyes was snuffed out what seemed hours later, replaced by a buzzing yellow light hanging from the ceiling. You groaned outloud, feeling groggy; an aching pain throbbed in your slumped neck and a sore bump on your scalp. 

‘Got a killer headache…’ 

You tried to pull your hands up to the bump to feel for a bruise, but fell flat with your arms tucked behind your back. You jerked them around, not realizing that they in fact were stuck together-- tied by rope, or some kind of fabric. 

“Thank god, you’re awake. Thought maybe I hit you too hard-- I don’t know what i’d do if that happened.” A familiar voice rang out in the musty, echoing room. 

“What…?” You croaked, trying to look up without facing the wrath of your headache the more light entered your eyes.

“Here, drink some water.” 

A bottle came in front of you, so close to your lips all you had to do was bend down to touch it. You did so without thinking, tasting the sandpaper of a tongue you were stuck with. As soon as the cool water touched your throat, you thought about potential poisoning. Who was this person bottle-feeding you water, why couldn’t you do it yourself?? 

You were too thirsty to care about the consequences, gulping it down as the bottle lifted higher to accommodate you. 

Letting out a pant, you sat back, trying to rub water off your lip with a shoulder shimmy. 

“Where am I? What’s going on--” It all started to come back to you, being in Elijah’s room, trespassing on private property, seeing the closet hoard of you. “Wait, please don’t report me, I promise it isn’t what you think it was…”

“Report you?” The masculine tone scoffed, a hand falling to your shoulder. “I was worried I’d never get a chance like this… you made it so easy, how’d you get in? The window?”

“...Yeah.” You sheepishly replied, looking up at your captor. “It’s not as easy as it looks.”

Oh shit. That was Elijah right in front of you. In the flesh, pretty pearly teeth grinning only inches away from your face as his hand rested on your left shoulder, gently massaging it.

“Is your head okay? I feel bad but.. I wasn’t thinking, could only think about how to keep you here.”

Keep you here? Oh no, does that mean the police are on their way??

“Now.. I don’t have to worry about sending people out to your apartment anymore.. No more security cameras, no more blackmail… just you.” He stroked the side of your cheek that was inflamed from falling against the floor. “Damn. I thought i’d have to go through the trouble of taking you in the middle of the night, I had just sent my driver out for my tools too- but, looks like that’s not even an issue anymore!”

Well, sounds like your fears about the cops was no where near the truth. But now, you were even more confused. Taking you? Stalking? Blackmail? It almost felt like you were listening to yourself talk for a second. 

Behind the dark glare covering his eyes, you could see Elijah’s trademark dimples, his pinkish lips covering the slight overbite he had, constantly showing off his front few teeth. You knew those downturned eyes were there somewhere, even with their shine dulled by the shadows of what looked to be a dark cellar around you. 

His hair was unkempt, thick, dark strands covering his ears and going so far to the base of his neck. Wow, you had never seen him look so scruffy, even when watching from outside, seeing him brush his teeth in shirtless pajamas. He looked worried, shirt untucked and pants wrinkled as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“And I’m sorry to say.. But don’t even think about trying to run away now. I made up my mind long ago, and if I find out that--”

“Urk, I wasn’t planning on it. I saw, the uh, dedication board. Or, shrine?”

At that, Elijah stopped. His baby blue eyes went wide for a moment, forgetting that was where he originally found you until now. 

You hid your head down in discomfort.  

“I have the same one…of you, in my apartment… in a box under my bed. There’s even a piece of hair from middleschool that I c..ut, from you.” You held back a nauseous gag at the admission. But here you were, this was your chance to prove how much you loved him, how much dedication you put towards understanding his every move, every like and dislike, the intricacies of his family history. “Do you know why I was in your room?” You asked, wondering if he already had seen your worship blog. 

Elijah took a step back, lowering to sit on a pulled out fold-up chair across from you. His knees touched yours, still dressed in his black slacks and matching loafers, rolled up sleeves on his cream-colored button up that showed he had taken liberties to get more comfortable for the night. 

“I’ll be honest I hadn’t contemplated that… just about how perfect of a chance it was, that you-- my uh, small, obsession since fifth grade.. Was here.” He looked down, a small red tint creeping from his cheeks to the rest of his face. He was bright crimson, like a kid again confessing to his crush behind the bleachers. “But you remember me?? From so long ago? I can’t… Its hard to imagine, i’ve been watching you for years and thought you had completely forgotten about me.”

“Are you kidding?” You watched Elijah rub his eyes, trying to hide his face behind his knuckles. “You’re all over the news, even if I wanted to avoid you. But I haven’t stopped following your every move since, I can’t remember. Every house change, new school, shopping trip with your mother… anytime I was free I dedicated it to watching you, or my--”

You cut yourself off, stepping one foot off into the deep end on a subject you desperately wanted kept hidden. 

“If I knew any better I’d say you sound like a bit of a stalker.” Elijah tried to hide his grin behind his hand, leaning forward to get a closer look at you. “What were you going to say?”

“My…blog.” 

“Blog?” He parroted. 

“It’s a…. Dedication blog. To you.”

“Oh, like an obsessed fan?” He jeered, laughing with bright teeth as he braced his shaking from on his knee.  “Don’t tell me-- you snuck in here for content to your blog?”

“No-! Well, yes. But some of it was going in my private stash…” You pouted, knowing you’d never get that chance again now that you’ve been discovered. Your days of fawning were going to come to a close. 

“So you must be the one who keeps finding a way to get pictures when I never see any reporters around. By, breaking into my home.” 

“That sounds really bad.. But I promise I wasn’t going to try to steal, or hurt you!”

That only made him laugh harder.

“I can’t… can’t believe I never saw you..” He wheezed, face flushed as you sat rotting in embarrassment and shame. “I had drivers chase after you for hours when you disappeared-- but you were five steps behind me the entire time!”

Drivers… your brain clicked two and two together as he tried to stop from giggling while hunched over. 

“...Drivers?” You question. No way this is what yout thought it was.”So you’ve been spying on me?”

“Don’t sound so offended, little stalker,” He settled down, a permanent smile still on his mouth as he dragged the steel chair somehow closer. “ You’ve been hard to catch, but i’ve been keeping tabs on you, as unseemingly as it is. I couldn’t do it myself but I wanted to make sure you were, okay. Before it was safe to bring you home. Though I had nothing to fear about you forgetting me at all!”

You swallowed, mouth having gone back to a dry desert as you contemplated what this all meant. YOUR Elijah was spying on you in your home? Sending out underlings to watch and make sure you were safe? The man who you’d lay your life down for? You fantasized, imagining him at your window, you-- freshly out of the shower…

“What do you mean by home? You don’t mean.. Here, in the estate, right?”

Elijah observed you so fully, it made you nervous. He had never given someone this much attention in interviews, nonetheless in the photos and videos you managed to snap of him alone. And he was looking at you, with those eyes. 

You didn’t know how much longer you could take it. Smelling his sandalwood with his knees pressing against yours, his finely ironed shirt toned against him-- right here, in the flesh. You always thought you’d be at a distance, never able to come in contact with him.. And now, you were tied up in his family’s wine cellar. 

“Of course my darling. Where else? I can’t possibly send you back to that dungeon of an apartment. And you,” He stood, intent on coming closer. “Came in so willingly, huh? Didn’t think you’d return my love so… earnestly.”

“W-well who said anything about staying?” You sputtered, looking at his eyes glower in an exceedingly dark fashion. “I mean…. You love me? I’d accepted I’d never be seen by you but… you’ve been watching, the entire time?”

He stood up from his chair with a slight creak, causing your neck to strain upwards to look at him. A small touch caressed the end of your chin, his finger smoothening as it lifted your head to meet his gaze. 

He hummed, Elijah’s eyes full of an expression you’ve never seen him wear before. Something in the mix of a sentimental possession, and a lover. But it was so tender, you couldn’t look away. It was so safe, so familiar. You recognized that look in the mirror, visible in your own eyes when you planted kisses on his printed photo taped to your vanity. 

“Haven’t been able to keep you off my mind since you plucked that leaf off of my spoiled head. Love doesn’t even begin to describe it. I need, you.” 

His gaze was so genuine, your eyes soothed by the glazed over grin he gave you, leaning down to hunch on his knees to be closer to you. 

“I…” You breathed, wondering if this was a dream. “I’ve wanted you to see me.. for so long. Is this real?” 

You stopped working. There was no chance that he had been watching you, wondering and waiting for you to recognize him, when you were longing for his attention, having convinced yourself long ago you’d only be able to possess him from a distance. 

Soft fingers that hadn’t worked a day in their lives creeped up your knees, Elijah’s face only inches away as his eyelids lowed, looking sultry as he watched you squirm. 

“I pray it’s not.” He exhaled. 

“...Well, I’m not staying tied up in this chair, no matter how much you beg. Though… I can’t say I’d mind staying with you. Being with you.. Here, together.”

“Good. It wasn’t really a matter of choice, anyway.” He grinned, pressing a slow kiss to your cheek. 

You involuntarily hummed in content, pressing closer to his lips as you arched out of the chair, longing to touch his warm body. He was kissing you; somebody get you out of these ropes before you jump the man. 

Elijah couldn’t help but grin like a maniac, drugged on the way you relished his touch and pressed your chest forward to him. He rushed kisses to your chin, bites to your ear and licks to your neck with a groan. 

But a sudden stop brought your blissfully closed eyes to an open. 

“I’m sorry… want you too much, it’s getting to the better of me.”

“I’m not sorry,” You mumble, hoping that if this was a dream, you wouldn’t ever wake up. “Please, don’t stop.. I’ve killed for this, don’t stop now.”

“You tempt me too much,” He chuckles, gripping the sides of your chair seat to stablize himself leering over you. “So lucky you were my little creepy stalker, and no one else’s. Wouldn’t be able to control myself otherwise.”

“Stalker, murderer of your old lovers… I have many names.” You joked, but the bitterness on your tongue remembering those placeholders you got rid of was sour. 

“Many talents, too.” Elijah’s eyebrows furrowed. “You’re the one that caused my fiances to dissapear? I wondered how they kept doing that,” He looked keenly, seeing right through your little ‘joke’. “Even I couldn’t shoo my mothers’ arranged partners away.”

You tried to look away, embarrassment showing on the way you bit your lips clean and your heartbeat wrapped. “I did it in your name….  I couldn’t stand them thinking they were worth being so close and casual with you! It was infuriating every time I saw it I-- I just  couldn’t take it anymore. Even if it meant I’d never have you.” 

Elijah buried himself in your hair, holding you tight. The squeeze was so personable, hungry and desperate to hold all of you.

 “You have me now, you have me completely. I want you-- what a favor you have done, and you hadn’t even known.”

It felt so good, praised for such hard and hateful work you carried out. Their bodies were mangled, your rage manifesting in the corpses buried under the old golf course near your dingy apartment complex-- and he was happy you did it. Oh, you wanted to hold him, to smell him fully. These binds were stopping you from caressing the lover, the dream you had fantasized holding you to sleep so often, spooning the jackets and dresshirts of his musk in replacement for comfort. 

Elijah still snickered in your ear, playing with the tips of your hair.

“But now, I have to see this blog. I’m too curious-- though I can’t say seeing it will help my small obsession for you. A stalking blog-- too cute.”

You were still so shameful of it, now that he brought it up. You didn’t want your soulmate to see the virtual shrine you had dedicated to him, your unseemly thoughts and hungry urges that were far too detailed and graphic to be shared with their perpetrator. But what choice did you have? He’d find it, one way or another. 

“F..fine. But you’d you atleast untie me now? My arms are getting sore.”

That seemed to cease his light-hearted expression, frowning against your skull as he inhaled the sweet scent of your hair. It was the same as he remembered, now a decade later. 

“You’re not gonna try to leave, are you?” He murmured, caressing pinching your ear with a light tone. But something dangerous was held behind it. It was frightening.. But oh, as if the possessiveness didn’t fuel how much more your insides craved him. 

“Do you think I’d really try to go anywhere? Not when you’re so accessible to me now.” You looked over. Elijah’s lashes looked so long up close, sweetly deadpanned eyes watching as if you were being tested, hunted. 

He seemed to find your answer appealing, getting up and pulling something out of his back pocket. Leaning down once more, you saw the switchblade bobbing between his hands, a pretty and simple hunting blade. He leaned over you, pressing it against the knot above your wrists. 

You focused on feeling for the blade as to not get cut, only for your attention to be pulled back to the spoiled one-percenters lips pressing yours directly. It was a shock, more than anything. You wished you had seen it coming, wish you had been better prepared to share your first kiss with your darling! 

Elijah left your mouth nowhere to run as he pressed up against you, fervidly ensnaring your lips between his.

You gladly accepted the pull away for a second kiss, leaning up as much as you could while hiding your desperation. He was so soft, lips gentle and big as they enveloped your bitten ones. 

“Sorry,” Elijah broke away slowly, not straying far. “I’ve wanted to do that for ages.” You watched his eyes stare wonders at your lips, fingers brushing against your trapped ones from behind as the task at hand was forgotten. 

“Me too.” You uttered, pulling forward to kiss him again with an open, insatiable mouth. 

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Freefall Masterlist

Grid, Meet Lynn. Charles, Meet Diana.

f1 shhh, don't tell their trainers, but parts of the grid went on an adventure today to a local bakery, and from what we've heard, it was amazing!

user16 don't gatekeep, tell us what bakery!

user002 it looks like the one that is in my town! it's owned by a really kind woman named diana, her daughter is dating charles_leclerc !! it's called dianamaes_bakery

"Charles, why are we outside a bakery?" Max is the one to question, glancing around the quaint english street that's buzzing with people. "I'd have expected Lando or Lewis to take us site seeing, but you?"

"I have someone who I'd like you to meet," Is all Charles uses as an explanation, Lando and Logan smirking from off to the side, the friendship that had gone primarily unknown surprising some of the group around them, other than Charles and Carlos.

The bell rings from the front of the shop, but I can't even take the moment to glance up with Mrs.Kline talking my ear off about how exciting she finds the car races that have come to town. It's when I finally get her order boxed up and in her hands that I glance up, a bright smile taking over my face upon seeing what is almost the entire Formula One grid, Charles approaching the register as Mrs.Kline leaves.

"Mon amor," He smiles, taking my hands and pulling me around the counter.

Oh, he's really putting on a show.

"Hey Charlie," I smile right back, getting on my toes to peck him on the lips, letting him pull me into his arms.

"Charles, do you have something you'd like to share with the class?" George Russell questions, prompting Charles and I to pull away, his arm staying around my waist.

His eyes meet mine, silently asking if I'm prepared for what he's about to do, but after kissing in front of all of them, we can't just leave it at that, so I nod.

"Boys, this is Lynnleigh Earnhardt, my girlfriend for the last two months," He introduces, the boys eyes getting wide. "Lynn, these are the men from the grid I am closest to. Pierre Gasly, George Russell, Alex Albon, Carlos Sainz, Max Verstappen, and then you know Lando and Logan."

"Finally, took long enough for L3 to be reunited," Logan states, coming up and hugging me tightly, Lan doing the same. "We blame you mate."

"Yes, blame the student, not the F1 drivers that travel the world. If you were both in London more often..."

"Yeah yeah that's enough out of you, where's my favorite Hamlin woman?" Lando questions, looking around dramatically before making his way behind the counter to the kitchen.

"I'm going to assume you three knew each other prior to Lando being Lando?" Alex asks, picking up on the dynamic in front of him.

"Lando and I met during my summers here as a child, and Logan and I met at a race in the states that his parents brought him to when he was considering driving for a living," I explain, the fellow American at my side nodding along.

"Her dad is Dale Earnhardt, a NASCAR driver. Took an hour out of his day to chat with me about the different options for driving professionally and carting differences," Lo adds, messing with my hair.

"AND LOOK WHO I FOUND," Lando's loud voice yells, coming out of the back with his arm wrapped around my mom's shoulder as she blushes wildly.

"I'm sorry about him Diane, you know how he is," Lo apologizes, going up and hugging her.

"Is this your mother?" Charles whispers in my ear, his body having tensed. "She looks like you."

A compliment of the highest nature, I take his hand in mine, pulling him towards Mum and the boys.

"Mum, this is Charles, my boyfriend, and his friends Pierre, Carlos, Max, Alex, and George. "Charles and boys, this is my mum Diana Mae Hamlin."

"Oh I've heard so much about you boys between L3's different rants over the years," Mum acknowledges after shared hellos, "Although my daughter is the one who can just never stop talking about you," She adds, looking at Charles and making me want to shrink inside myself and away from his eyes that I can feel.

"Mum," I can't help the groan that I release, no matter how much it makes me sound like a child. "Would you stop?"

"Fine, fine," She relents, holding her hands in surrender. "Don't worry, I won't embarrass you much more my love. Would you boys like a treat?"

"Oh, ma'am, we have have strict diets as professional -"

"Drivers, yes, yes, I know, I had a child with one, I know the diets you boys go on," Mum reminds, making me shake my head once more. I don't know why meeting everyone here felt like a good idea. "But you can certainly take a treat for after your race tomorrow," is her insistence, and it's only a moment later that all the men are nodding slowly, agreeing freely that yes, I suppose that won't be a problem.

"You're a lot like your mother, stubborn," Charles whispers in my ear, arms wrapped around my waist as we watch his coworkers actively defy their trainers.

"Hey now-"

"Beautiful, kind," He adds, chuckling. "You had to let me finish before you freaked out, mon amour."

I smile now, leaning up to kiss his cheek, "She is, isn't she?"

But he just shakes his head, and all of this makes me feel like I'm living in a dream.

"And the point of my words were, so are you."

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

[nattravn-art]

In regards to these news, I'd like to precise that I've opted out of "third party sharing" (AI scraping) on this blog, my main @nattravn-stuff and my other secondaries.

I'm no big artist, but I still do not want my work to be used for AI purposes.

Following is personal feelings. The TL;DR is: I don't think I'll keep posting my personal art on tumblr/my socials any longer. That doesn't include zines/promo art and occasional fanart.

Quite frankly, it hurts and I'm tired of this all.

Drawing has always been a way for me to express myself and share what I love, drawing characters I love whether it's mine or other people's, whether it's fandom characters or OCs. However since a couple of years now, I've gradually lost the joy of sharing it on social sites, hence why I've posted less and less here.

I know I briefly mentioned it before but my mental health is not always the best, to put it simply, it never really was. Nearly two decades ago, finding online art communities was a lifesaver. First it was on forums. Then, after a wrecking art school year, I'd promised myself I would never draw again. I did pick up a pencil after a bit of not drawing due to OCs and fandom characters. Despite my art being bad at the time, I joined Deviantart. I'd found a community full of fantastic people there, and this community encouraged me to draw more of what I loved and post it online. I don't know where I would be artistically nowadays, or if I would still be drawing at all, if it wasn't for this community. Then I'd found tumblr, which was a fun way for me to share art among other things. DA was about to decline so I just stayed on tumblr, even if there was less engagement there for me aside on some specific fanart pieces.

I never was a popular artist and honestly, I didn't intend to be one. I just drew what I loved and appreciated the engagement. During DA days, I used to be more excited to share my stuff with the world than drawing, then the joy became equal between creating and sharing. That source of joy started vanishing for me, and it has affected my art. It affected it first because it felt that art only became "content" to be "consumed", it felt that it lost its personality and meaning. Then AI generated "art" and "artists" happened and it feels that it finished killing that joy for me. Today's news was the last nail in the coffin.

Not is all negative thought. Over the past year, I feel that I started regaining joy creating by telling myself that I don't need to share my art. It feels kind of stupid to type that tbh, but making art had been so tied to posting it online to me that I'd almost.. forgotten that. I started liking drawing for myself again. I started liking getting an idea and figuring how to express it visually again, even though the process could be so frustrating... I guess these are pretty words for me to just say "I love OCs and characters and want to draw my, my spouse's, my friends' and strangers' brains blorbos and the blorbos from my games too. I'm not sure I enjoy posting them on socials though."

All this to say that I've come to terms that I don't think I want to post my personal art on tumblr/my socials any longer, as long as it doesn't bring me joy. I will continue drawing and partaking zines and art events that bring me joy (such as Art Fight, or art challenges). I will also share art for promotional purposes + and I may post occasional fanarts if my brain gets in hyperfocus.

Eventually, if you're here reading this and liked seeing my personal art on your dash, I'm sorry and I hope you understand.

PS: if we're mutuals and you're on TH, shoot me a message I'd love to see you there!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Hold tight guys we're getting some turbulence -Danny Words: 1,812 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Running Up That Hill' -by Kate Bush

XLI: Source(s): Dude, Trust Me

A whole day goes by and Hades is nowhere to be seen, but I've made up my mind that I won't care anymore. I've fought and killed monsters, but it isn't enough.

"I feel like we should've told someone about this..." Lily mutters.

"Jake's helping us, we're fine."

"Ara..."

"What?" I snap at her impatiently.

Lily's worried, I'm not as giddy and positive as when the fight started, so she thinks I might do something reckless. But it's not like I'm announcing our impending deaths, it isn't that kind of change. I have a fierce disposition to keep going no matter the outcome.

Which of course, could be seen as "being reckless".

You see, an hour ago we found my parents in their Prius, right in front of where we'd fought that day. Percy almost lost it, it was the second time I had to absorb half of someone's breakdown in less than two days, so I'm pretty tired, but I refuse to take a break.

"I'm just making sure..." Lily pauses. "That you have the remotes to these things."

I point at the dino bag hanging on my shoulder. "'Course. C'mon, before Percy realizes I left."

I burst into tears pretty often, but I have an advantage over demigods like Percy and Lily: I process feelings faster. Right now it's like I'm in the zone, with all these people feeling all kinds of ways, I have the clearest mind.

Mom's right, feelings give me power.

We go back to the camping site where Percy's already looking for me, and he's angry.

He pulls me away from Lily. "Let's talk."

Everyone throws curious looks at us, Percy's never harsh with me, not even when we're training together.

"You're pinching me!" I whine.

Percy stops and stares at me, his eyes are like Greek fire. "What did you do?"

"I-I just went to place some bombs—"

"Not today," he interrupts me. "The other night—Jake said you disappeared for a whole hour. Spit it out."

"...I'm helping you win the war," my voice gets quiet.

"What did you do?"

"Judging by how you're acting, I think you know."

Percy's hands go to his hair as he turns away from me, his face red. This feels like being scolded by my dad. "You made a deal with Hades?" He asks in an angry whisper, turning back to face me. "What were you thinking?!"

I don't ask how he knows. Maybe he saw it in a dream. "He's been insulted, Percy. He doesn't want to help you, and we need him."

"You're stupid," he says like he's just realizing this now. "Mr. D told me..."

"What?"

"He asked me to tell you," Percy scowls. "That he wants to be considered too."

I can't hide the excitement in me. "I'm listening."

He grimaces at my reaction. "He said that having madness on your side is useful too."

"Will you look at that," I mumble, my gaze drifting as I take in the news. "The gods really are paying attention to me..."

"Ara," he grabs my shoulders. "Stop. Whatever you're doing, it's a bad idea."

"No."

"Didn't you learn anything from—?"

"The prophecy says you have to die," I state bitterly. "I heard Jake and Will talking about it," I push his hands away from my body. "You're not dying if I can help it."

"They don't know anything!" He says in frustration.

"It doesn't matter, this isn't about just you, I promised Mike I would do this," I press, my voice cracking when I pronounce my friend's name. "I've made up my mind."

"What did you promise?" He demands. "What are you doing, Ara?"

"I'm bettering myself." 

Before our argument escalates, a roar and several short explosions reach us from the street I just arrived from. Percy's brows knit together. "That's my dream..."

"And those were my bombs," I point out. "Hopefully, we just killed a few dozen there."

He moves me to the side, urging me to safety.

"Take cover, Ara. They're bringing a Drakon."

Ara's standing in the middle of a field, and she doesn't know how she got there. She looks around anxiously, and for a moment fears she's been taken just like her brother, but then she hears his voice.

"Cyclopes. Centaurs. This is wrong. All wrong..."

Percy. She's found her brother!

"We need to get him back to the boat," a new voice utters. Ara realizes Percy's not alone, two kids are with him, a boy and a girl. "The sea will make him feel better."

"No argument," the unknown boy says. "There are too many of them. The camp... we have to warn the camp."

"They know," Percy whimpers. "Reyna knows."

Ara rushes to meet him and then freezes in her place. An army of monsters is passing by downhill, ahead of them. 

Ara concludes that she's dreaming a horrifying, but long-awaited demigod dream.

"The camp, yes. Vengeance!" Ara takes a moment to confirm, but it really is Ma Gasket in the crowd of monsters. "The orange and purple ones destroyed my home. Now Ma Gasket will destroy theirs! Do you hear me, Leo? Jason? Piper? I come to annihilate you! I will kill you, Arae Jackson!"

"Jason!" The girl next to Percy gasps, she's wearing a purple shirt, and Percy is too. "She fought Jason. He might still be alive!"

"Do those other names mean anything to you?" The unknown boy asks.

"I..." Percy closes his eyes. Suddenly he breathes in harshly, like someone punched him in the gut. "My sister!"

When the Ares cabin arrives, something feels off. Clarisse is glowing pink. I've seen Clarisse's soul light before, and hers is purple. 

Silena's was pink.

I feel dizzy once I understand what's happening. "That's not Clarisse."

The drakon attacks my sister, and Clarisse and Chris arrive soon after. I run towards them, if someone calls after me I can't hear it, everyone's screaming either way. The drakon doesn't see me, I'm nothing to this creature. 

When I reach Silena I fall to my knees crying. Clarisse leaves her side for just a moment, kills the drakon, and comes back. We carefully take the helmet off my sister's head and she confesses to being the spy.

She dies a hero anyway. Did what she had to, to make up for her wrongdoing. There is nothing else to say. 

It's lucky I wasn't given Pandora's box, cause this is my lowest moment, when I finally lost my girlhood. "Get up," I command Clarisse. "You'll help me fix this."

The older girl picks up a sword and a javelin. I grab Almighty but waver, something stops me this time, it feels like the wrong option. Instead, I search through my dino bag and pull the little square panel that controls the traps and bombs we've left scattered around the site. 

I climb into Clarisse's chariot. "Go that way," I point to the left.

"On it," she growls.

I use charmspeak to make sure the monsters follow us. Once we have them all in the alley, Clarisse makes the chariot fly over their heads and I press the square buttons, blowing up every creature below.

We get rid of 60% of the enemies that way. The 40% left is taken by the centaurs, the hunters, and some Ares campers. Only 10% manage to escape us, or at least that's what Lily tells me once I leave Clarisse so I can tend to the wounded.

Clarisse glows red by the time I leave her. I glow pink. Mom's sending a message: This is what an Aphrodite brings to the table, how we win wars.

I run into Pollux as he walks out of the Empire State. "Hey, man," I smile. "You look tough with that cast. How ya feeling?"

"Like a million bucks," he replies sarcastically.

"That's great dude, 'cause I need you."

He raises a brow. "Percy says I'm in no condition to keep fighting, he wanted me to go back to camp."

I try not to look annoyed. Percy knows Mr. D wants me to use Pollux, why is he trying to take him away from me? "I don't want you to fight," I respond. "You got your daddy's mad powers, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you make monsters have some kind of shared hallucination?"

He seems to like where this is going. "I can try."

"Good," I draw out Almighty. "That's all I can do too."

The semester ended faster than Ara thought possible. She's worked hard to keep her mind busy, but now that June has arrived, she's having palpitations.

After she told Annabeth about her dream, the older girl managed to hold some kind of dream communication with Percy thanks to the Hypnos cabin, and that seemed to jumpstart a domino effect of sorts, cause now all Ara sees in her dreams are Percy's bizarre adventures with the horse girl and the archer.

It isn't promising, every dream shows Percy in a different location, and she tries to assist Tyson so he finds their brother, but he isn't fast enough.

When Jason finally gets all of his memories back, he goes to Ara. "What's the name of that Hades kid you're friends with?" It's the first thing he asks.

Ara looks up from the control board of the ship, she's making sure everything works as it's supposed to. "Nico Di Angelo? He's not—"

"Him," Jason interrupts her. "Last September, he visited my camp."

Ara pauses, thinking she heard wrong. "What?"

"Nico Di Angelo," Jason says. "He came to us, and he wasn't alone. He brought his sister to live with us."

The girl's heart skips a bit. "Bianca?"

I don't have a hard time convincing Annabeth to let us use her Yankees cap, I don't even have to use charmspeak on her! Lily's waiting for me with Michael's bow and backpack, and a few trick arrows I made for her. She gives me a bedsheet that I wrap around me as a cape, and a large javelin.

I give Pollux Annabeth's cap. "Stay behind me and Lily at all times."

"You got it."

I whistle (meaning I use a whistle, I can't whistle on my own, remember?) and Blackjack comes down to help me. We just need him to make an entrance, but the amount of sugar cubes I had to promise so he wouldn't rat us out to Percy is outrageous.

"What are we doing, Ara?" Lily asks me, watching as I climb on top of the Pegasus.

"I'm playing dress up," I reply. "If you don't wanna, I can always ask someone else to be my right hand—"

"That's not an option." Her expression hardens, she reaches back and grabs an arrow from her quiver.

I gallop confidently into battle, Lily following right after. Behind me, I hear Pollux whispering in ancient Greek something about blurry thoughts and bending realities.

"Stand down!" I shout at the enemy. "Or I'll kill you all!"

Chiron makes a face like I personally stabbed him in the back. Everyone else starts to yell at me to retreat, but I don't go anywhere that it's not forward. 

If the monsters hadn't been tricked by Pollux, they would've killed me right away, but they were, and it's scared them to death for a good reason: 

The people they see standing between them and the Camp Half-blood army, are Achilles and Odysseus.

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @ash-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles

[scabopolis]

fic recs: l/v fic fest, "I love a man in uniform"

In anticipation of the upcoming 2023 Logan x Veronica "New Year, New Fic" fest, I bring you a small selection of fics inspired by the site of Logan in uniform. Again, the kind of uniform is up to you. The sky is the actual limit.

Day 1 of the challenge is February 1, 2023 so be sure to check out the #2023 LV New Year here on tumblr or the AO3 collection for more fic and art.

As a reminder, there are so many fics that fill these tropes. These are just a smattering, so make sure to make note of the ones you love the most and next week, when the challenge starts, maybe go drop those you love a kudos, a comment, or both to share the joy.

To begin, let's start with the inspiration fic for the prompt and then we'll add a few more.

These are mostly all Logan in a Navy uniform, so I'll be excited to see if there are ways we can open that definition up in the next week!

Fic: Metal Under Tension by @machawicket (AO3 account required to read) Rating: T and/or M depending on your POV Tropes and Themes: Reunited after 180-days, Veronica climbing Logan like a tree, these two are OBSESSED with each other Read if: You want to be transported back in time almost 9-years to that post-movie time when macha kept us all very well fed with fic inspired by the movie and what came after. This fic is romantic, and funny, and touching, and man. WHAT A TIME!

Fic: The Long Way Home by @absolutelyiris Rating: E because of those two-weeks of bliss iykwim Tropes and Themes: Idk, man, this fic is perfect to me - (but also it's a movie compliant fic, with chapters 1 and 2 showing snippets throughout the film, and chapter 3 post-Logan's deployment) Read if: This fic messes me up in the best way and somehow I'd FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT which is why these kinds of challenges are the best. The part of the chapter when they're back together but he's about to leave for 6-months. AGGGH! I can still feel it in my gut.

Fic: Every Belt That Hit Someone (is Still Made to Hold Something Up) by @igrockspock Rating: E for sex and for some violence and some swears Tropes and Themes: This fic is perfect (I've said that twice now and idc), snapshots of Logan's life pre-movie, some of the most developed Logan/Carrie dynamic, THE BOOK SCENE Read if: You've somehow managed to never read this before and you're curious what all those weird fragments I just mentioned even mean.

Fic: The Crowd by @ghostcat3000 Rating: M for "genteel smut" as GC calls it Tropes and Themes: Another reunited after 180 days fic (I CAN'T HELP MYSELF I LOVE THEM ALL), they don't have sex in public but it's a close thing, appropriate (as in inappropriate) jokes about the uniform Read if: Look, this fic makes me happy. Do you want to be happy? Then read it.

Fic: Waste of Breath by @bryrosea Rating: M Tropes and Themes: It's called growth!, starts one year post-s3 through Logan returning from deployment, every single moment makes me want to set myself on fire and then read it again to experience it all over (too much?) Read if: You want to feel like you're inside Logan's heart and head.

Fic: Blackbird by AliLamba Rating: T Tropes and Themes: AU where Logan and Veronica are at ballet academy, battle couple but in the art of dance, found family and friends as family Read if: Okay, technically Logan wears ballet costumes not uniforms, but again, I hope this goes to show how open to interpretation these tropes are. Also, if you're looking for a completely alternative world fic, then this one is top notch. Romantic and clever and takes me right back to being teenager and loving Center Stage.

[spacexcowgirl]

20 questions for fic writers

here's some stuff about me, thanks for the tag @magswrite <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Four!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

169,069 (double 69 this is so embarrassing)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only the marauders, but I've written for other fandoms in the past. On this account, my old Weasley fics can be found, and then I've written for a few other fandoms in other places.

4. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

just like Maggie I do not have 5 fics lol so this is just my 4 from highest to lowest !!

we'll be just fine (even when I lose my mind) : 16k words, James loses his memories after a quidditch fall and doesn't remember his relationship with Regulus.

Foolish One : 5k word one shot. friends with benefits. miscommunication. mutual pining.

Mutually Assured Destruction : 113k word WIP. a "how to lose a guy in 10 days" au.

where milk and honey flow : 34k word WIP. band/fame au, multiple pairings, multiple tropes. this will be a long one.

5. Do you respond comments? Why or why not?

oh yes! I try to always reply, but sometimes it slips my mind and I forget. Most of the time I get to them, though! I love comments, and I appreciate when a reader takes time out to comment, so I want to show that appreciation by replying.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

so, I only have 2 completed fics, but it's no secret that all of my stuff is happy endings. if I had to pick, I'd say we'll be just fine. it's still a happy ending, but everything isn't perfect, you know?

7. What is a fic your wrote with the happiest ending?

again, only 2 completed fics, so at the moment, probably Foolish One? I think my long fics will beat that in the end though lol.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I have very nice commenters

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hmmm hard to answer. have I in the past? yes. have I in any of my current fics? no, not yet. but wm&hf will have smut in it eventually.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest you’ve written?

nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

mmm at most I've had it reposted without my permission and without credit on another site, but have never had like a fic idea stolen.

12. Have you ever has a fic translated?

mmm no, but I have had one turned into audio format for accessibility?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

eeee as Maggie said, we have something in the works ;) something fun, very excited about it, but it's neither of our first priorities so it'll be a bit before its done!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ooooh that's so hard. maybe my judgements clouded bc I'm so hyper fixated, but I do think it's jegulus. maybe that will change tho.

15. What’s a wip you what to finish but doubt you ever will?

the only thing I have started that I don't think I'll ever go back to is this mcd fic that's like a plane crash situation? everything else I fully intend to finish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten comments praising my prose and characterizations a few times, which really means the world to me. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on grammar and clear ideas of what I want to happen.

17. What are you writing weaknesses?

okay, two things I think: first, I feel like I meander too much. takes me too long to get to the point, like I'm so fucking wordy so everything is always so slow moving. second, I feel like I'm so bad at like... describing surroundings and stuff.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I use google translate and I take any and all comment suggestions and make changes!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh my god I don't even want to say. (hints: RPF, a dance crew, I was in 6th grade). After that one, I kinda abandoned reading/writing fic until I was 19? and when I came back to it, I started in The 100 fandom!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

just going off of the ones I'm currently working with, wm&hf is my favorite. I've been brain rotting about it since like February, I have so many plans, and it just feels a lot more like something I'm really writing for me.

[holllandtrash]

Hiiii

So this is gonna be a looong one, so stay with me.

I gotta say I'm thrilled that I've found your blog. I found it bc of the Lando fic (which I adored very much 😍), and later on, I discovered you have a podcast and an insta account. I don't know which you had first, tumblr account and then everything else f1, but it's amazing that someone that I found on tumblr, I can then see on other platforms.

So for me tumblr was an escape to let my fantasies run wild and to not feel bad about liking the guys in f1 and there are a lot of great writers here on tumblr so I indulge my inner f1 wag. And then I see you on insta, and you talk about the racing and the drivers in such a diverse way.

I started watching f1 bc of DTS just before the 2021 season, and I got into it because of Lando, Carlos and Mclaren. As I started getting into it more (my dad has always been a fan and since we watched dts together we've been watching the races together) I learned about the sport on my own and I love the racing part as much as I love anything else in the sport. I've listened to other podcasts, and I follow other influencers, but you guys are just something different.

Today, I watched your reveal about crushes, and I swear I have the same ones. I found out about Pato O'ward when I saw him in mclaren videos with Lando and since then I've followed him (even though I haven't watched indy cuz it's hard when I'm from Europe). I love that you guys are doing this, and I relate soooooo much to everything you're saying. I feel like I'm watching best friends sitting in a cafe, casually talking and fangirling about everything f1. I usually stay anonymous on tumblr asks, but what the hell, I just feel comfortable in everything you put out, and I shouldn't be ashamed in loving everything that I do about f1.

Sorry, I said this is gonna be a long one 😅

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

my goodness i can't believe i didn't see this message until right now!! never apologise for such kind words i genuinely want to cry thank you so much for making my whole year and for the support on all of my platforms. im so so glad you find track talk and my tumblr such a safe space, we only ever wanted to give off the bestie vibes because at our core we are fangirls and we're not going to shy away from that. i def use tumblr as an escape too and honestly, everyone on this site does. never feel ashamed for loving something the way you do, its your type passion and joy that is just so pure and exciting to see and i love it, i love u ♡

[plantrelated]

Watch out for an illustration/design scam on Indeed

TL;DR if you don't have time/don't want to read the whole thing: If you apply to a job on Indeed and they're asking you to do an illustration job worth $6800 for a "Pandemic: Precaution and Prevention" class: refuse the job.

I wouldn’t normally make a post like this, but I just had the weirdest 2 weeks. I applied to, what seemed to be, a pretty standard designer/illustrator job (I won't mention the name of the company it was posted under since it's a legitimate company that had no idea their name was being used.) A lot of very similar beats as most other art/design/illustration jobs on pretty much every job site out there. I applied, didn’t think much of it, had surgery a few days later, and woke up after sleeping off anesthesia to a text from a supposed representative of the company. We got in touch via email and this was the rundown I was given:

He also noted in a later email that, while they would reserve the rights of use, the art could still be used in a professional portfolio, no worries--totally fine with me. For the most part, this doesn't read as anything particularly strange--in fact, it reads as pretty great. In a sea of the literal hundreds of jobs I've applied for, this is probably one of the few times I've seen a truly solid paycheck for this kind of work (lots of folks out there either don't know what kind of budget their projects actually require or there's the Ye Olde I Just Don't Want to Pay You What You're Worth.)

There's a standard back and forth, things seem okay, and the job itself seems fun. I'm always down to do some art for education and especially for pandemic stuff. He emails me this:

Up front is also cool--I've been ghosted before getting paid in the past, so a "good faith" payment is okay with me. And while it's a little unusual to get a cashier's check, I understand that they're often used when larger funds are involved. Rarer now, with online payments being so common, but not wildly unheard of. Tbh I'm getting kind of excited by this point. I'm thinking this is my first "big job." This is money I could really use right now. And this is probably something they were betting on: there are a lot of desperate artists looking for a paycheck and this one is an amazing one. Especially considering how hard it is to find art jobs, in general, but also to find ones that pay you what you and the job are worth. Then, about a week into pretty consistent correspondence, I get this:

By this point, I've only had the official green light to start working for about 2/3 days. Barely any time to do anything, really. So, obviously, he hasn't seen anything yet. Even if he had looked at my portfolio and liked what he saw enough to trust whatever I came up with, I just found it odd that he was so willing to immediately hire me on for "phase two" (which I also wasn't aware was even a potential factor in the job.) And to also double the payment--even if it was an accurate calculation for the workload added--without having any idea of what you're getting felt weird to me. But I really, really wanted it to be legit. Thankfully, by this point my sister had made me aware of some similar scams going around on Indeed, so I started looking a little deeper into this. Eventually, unable to find much, I went directly to the site of the original company and contacted the owner. I gave him the rundown of the job and the name of who I was in contact with (Clayton West.) Within an hour, I got a reply back that said his business hadn't posted any sort of job and that he would be contacting the authorities. I emailed Clayton to let him know that I was severing ties, authorities had been contacted, and that I was going to shred the check. Unsurprisingly--despite his faithful correspondence up to now--I never got a reply. About a day or two later, I got the check in the mail and found it had been written for $13,600. And note: the check had been sent to me before I had even known there was a "phase two." Into the shredder it went and I thought that was it. Then today, less than a week later after this whole thing dissolved, I applied to another job on Indeed. A different type of business (a school, which is also a real and legitimate place), different info, different application parameters; different country, actually. Within 45 minutes of applying, I got a text from someone claiming to be a rep from the school (Anthony Toochio) saying they were hiring for an illustration job that was worth $6800. Immediately, I thought that was a weird coincidence. Surely, I was just burned and overthinking, right? I look up the school, confirm it's legitimate (no one named Anthony on their staff, I saw), and eventually decide to check the link. Guess what I see? Guess. Yup:

And the header, as mentioned in the doc, is one of the exact examples I was sent by Clayton in an early email. They post the jobs under the guise of being legitimate businesses and institutions (specifically small and/or relatively unknown ones, as far as I can tell) and it's not limited to a singular country or one type of industry, either. The first job listing was posing as a sign shop in North Carolina, USA, and the second was as a secondary school in the Southwark district of London, England. I'm sure there are more. So, all that to say to be careful when you're applying to jobs, as a general rule, but if anyone contacts you with this specific job: cut off all contact before you get your hopes up, time wasted, and involved in a scam of some kind. I have no idea what they hope to gain, and I'm so glad I didn't have a chance to find out. So, just be wary out there. As a freelancer without a company to back you, you've got to be super protective of yourself. I'm definitely learning that, myself, right now. Additionally, here's an article from the The Graphic Artist Guild about other sorts of scams out there, just so you can be aware.

Be safe!

[cdmagic1408]

Highlights from The Art of Onward book!

alright so I've decided this week for Onward Fan Art Friday that I'd do something a little different...

tbh I kind of had a hard time deciding on a theme for my 11th edition—or "up to 11" I should say—post, so hopefully that'll be decided by next week (it most probably will)

so what's this week all about you ask?

well believe it or not, I had never owned ✨The Art of Onward book✨ until yesterday! i know...crazy, right? but I found my opportunity to finally get it when i saw that it was 45% off on Amazon. so instead of paying the usual 40 bucks, I only had to pay $21! it was good deal, I'd say. but yeah I had ordered it a couple days ago, it came in the mail yesterday, and as soon as I got my hands on it I read through the whole thing, carefully looked through every page, did some excited squealing every now and again lol...cue my daily I absolutely love this film, its world, and its characters so much speech...

it took me like three hours and all I can say is WHAT A RIDE. this is such an amazing book!!

Now I've seen a good number of the art in this book from previews or elsewhere on the internet, but there are also a ton of really cool pieces in here that I'd never seen at all before that I am just blown away by! it reminded me of the amazing onward fanart I only ever see on Instagram, and in turn—the purpose of my onward fanart sharing series

so whether you own the Art of Onward book or not, tonight I'm going to spotlight pieces from within it that caught my eye, deserve more recognition, and perhaps some analyzation (this is OFFICIAL onward art after all...)

and let me tell ya, picking just 10 pieces for this wasn't easy...everything from everyone in here is SO GOOD!

Artists

just a few quick pre-notes...

I did happen to catch the names of the artists in some of the angles, but others not so much, so I'm gonna credit them all down below like I always do anyway

I won't, however, put in links to instagrams this time around because some members of the fabulous onward crew don't have insta and instead either don't have social media at all or are on lots of other social sites (primarily LinkedIn), and/or have their own portfolio websites—all of which you can easily find by looking up their name in a Google search!

lastly, all the images above are taken from The Art of Onward book, specifically my Art of Onward book, and were captured using my iPhone 13 Pro

Noah Klocek, Production Designer - ahhh I love this! The gang's all here! Ian and all his friends, including Kagar it looks like! I've always wanted to see a character line up of these 6! and a 3D model of Kagar too!

Madeline Sharafian, Head of Story at Pixar - ok this gives off major levels of sassy Ian and I just love it! I wonder what he's being sassy about tho...like, is he telling someone off? is he claiming he can do anything he sets his mind to with his magic? I NEED CONTEXT

Chris Sasaki, Art Director/Character Designer - awwwwww young Barley reading young Ian a storybook! emphasis on AWWWWWWWW!!! this is a very small drawing but it really doesn't matter how big it is...this is absolutely precious!

Maria Yi, Character Designer - I really love all her character drawings of Laurel, but I also really enjoy what she made here! This is something every artist needs a reminder of every once in a while: that all characters are made up of simple shapes and it's a great place to start when going about drawing them!

Kristen Lester, Storyboard Artist - 🎵 wouldn’t you like to quarter own a beautiful vacation home? 🎵 i swear...that song, and these lyrics in particular, from the deleted scene just started playing in my head the moment i laid eyes on this piece! i think cause the sirens themselves are holding contracts lol

Grant Alexander, Character Designer - this drawing seems to imply that Ian and Barley were once going to meet the pixie dusters in an actual swamp instead of the swamp-like aesthetic that ended up in the final film...but I love this idea of them hanging out in a club or bar when they're not riding their motorcycles!

Nat McLaughlin, Art Director/Set Designer - this concept looks very epic but also very dangerous at the same time...while I wouldn't want to risk being in a train accident inside a volcano, the idea of looking out a window and watching lava bubble and boil while riding in a subway sounds like a very fun attraction!

Don Shank, Set Designer, and self-proclaimed to draw and paint - OH MY GOSH KEVIN!!! Kevin from UP is in this drawing!! I love Kevin! if they were thinking of giving her a cameo at the time the phoenix was going to be the final villain that would've been interesting!

Zaruhi Galstyan, Freelance Character Designer - this is a piece from Jenny's set of pages and all I wanna say is I really love this beautiful character design! she looks like an ancient nature spirit! and now I have to ask: do these creatures exist in the onward-verse?

Dan Scanlon, the creator of all that is Onward! - who better to save for the best for last than our man Dan himself? I love all three of these drawings he made! I really enjoy drawings that visually set the scene and point out where everything is going to go, like actually pointing out with arrows who or what goes where

[rcsplendent]

for muses of your choice ! <3 🤡💋🥵⚖️💔✈️🦁🩰🚨😈🚫

answers under the cut bc i'm insufferable & added gifs to every single one. also i used a randomizer to pick who got each prompt so this was xtra chaotic !

🤡 ... a time where they felt guilt / embarrassment.

𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐊𝐒𝐄𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐎𝐕 :  " guilt ? ... "  ( he's silent for a while, thinking. )   " i'm not sure. i — well. what i mean by that is there are too many to choose from. but, erm ... i suppose the first one that comes to mind is ... when i was a child, i used to pretend to be sick to get out of lessons. and, um. one day, i pretended to be ill so i would not have to do my mathematics lesson that day. but that meant my father was unoccupied for the morning, & so he made viktor do extra training. i ... think viktor must have trained for eighteen hours that day. and i wanted so badly to tell the truth so viktor could rest. but ... i knew the consequences for lying would be ... disastrous. so i never confessed. i think viktor collapsed from exhaustion. i felt awful. i still do. "

💋 ... their first ( or simply a very special ) kiss.

𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐆𝐎 𝐃𝐄 𝐋𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐀 :  " it's a funny story, actually ! i was sixteen, maybe. i spent most of my time at sea, but i had stayed home one summer to help my father with a construction project. he was building an orphanage. and there was this girl, angelica — her mother was supposed to run the orphanage, so she was helping out, taking care of the kids while it was being built. but she kept feeding these damn cats all around the build site. it drove me insane — we were already behind schedule, and the cats were really throwing a wrench in things. so i confronted her, you know — told her to cut it out or find somewhere else to take the strays. she called me a selfish pendejo & got up in my face. we were bickering, you know, going back & forth, and suddenly she just ... grabbed my face & planted one on me ! i was so shocked i didn't even react. she ran off & i went on with my day, & she avoided me for the rest of the summer. we didn't talk about it until we were older — she doesn't know why she did it, either. she's got a wife & four beautiful kids, now. good friend of mine. "

🥵 ... a sexual experience.

𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐑 :  " i - i've never done anything like that. or, well ... "   ( he glances off to the side, thinking, before shaking his head quickly, his face bright red. )    " nevermind. that's all. "

⚖️ ... a time where they judged another person ( correctly or incorrectly ).

𝐘𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈 𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐎 :  " the only time i ever make incorrect judgments is when i overestimate my opponents. i've got to stop doing that, honestly. i'm too kind. "

💔 ... a time where they experienced heartbreak.

𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐍 :  " oh, well ... there was this girl, last summer. we were exchanging letters back & forth. i was always so excited to read hers, & she always wrote back so quickly, so i thought we were ... i don't know, honestly, what i was thinking. she stopped replying after a few months, & then i found out she'd gone & gotten married. she'd been betrothed the whole time. "  ( he smiles, albeit a bit sadly. )   " not a big deal. "

✈️ ... a time where they traveled to a foreign place.

𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐑 :  " well, after i got booted from boarding school — unjustly, might i add — i went to france for a bit to study. some little all-boys school down in nice. lovely city, right on the water. the people there were kinder than the fucking assholes i was at school with in england. i spent most of my nights sneaking out to go to the beach — don't tell rhysand i said that. "

🦁 ... a time where they felt truly proud of themselves.

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎 𝐏𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐈 :  " i went out with a hunting party a couple of weeks ago & took down this absolute beast of a stag with one arrow. kept the hide, but i had my men deliver the rest to a butcher in a village nearby. had it been smaller i might've had it preserved, but with this one ... it would've been a waste of resources. & god knows i'm not hurting for food. it's only right. "

🩰 ... a hobby / passion.

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐀 :  " well, i haven't got a lot of time for hobbies ... but when i do have a rare evening to myself, i quite like making things. leatherwork, metalsmithing, woodworking. sometimes, when i'm on patrol, i'll pick up a branch if i see one that looks like it's got something interesting going on under the bark. that's not always the case, but sometimes i get a real gem of a thing, sturdy & strong. i'll whittle them into walking sticks or staffs, or i'll cut it into pieces and use the wood for knife handles. i make the blades, too. the general before me insisted i learn how to make the weapons i use to be able to fully appreciate them. he was right — i've taught theo the same thing. i've got a few blades i'm quite proud of. i don't use them in battle. couldn't bear to lose them. "

🚨 ... a time they got in big trouble.

𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐍 :  " yeah, yeah. everybody always wants to know about the times i've gotten caught. hate to break it to you, but it's all confidential information & i am not legally allowed to share. "  ( he rolls his eyes. )  " it's always because some fucking snitch got caught & squeaked because they thought it'd make them go easy. it never fucking works. "

😈 ... a time where they did something devious.

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 :  ( he smiles coyly. )  " i am a god-fearing man who's never done anything devious in his life. have some faith in me. "

🚫 ... a time where they experienced rejection.

𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐐𝐀𝐉𝐀𝐑 :   " i cannot think of a single time anybody has ever dared to tell me no. except my wife, perhaps. "

[paimonial-rage]

i've never used ff.net before, but i get that feeling of people interacting with your fic from ages ago. i used to write on wattpad and i occasionally get emails of activity. boggles my mind.

i love Sharing A Drink They Call Loneliness. the title itself is already chef's kiss. i mentioned in my tags that reader is a great foil for zhongli. teaching him that a life forgotten is not a life wasted is so interesting, especially for someone who lived for thousands of years and has mentioned concerns of stories being lost to time. there is an ounce of truth in it for a human: just because they are forgotten it didn't mean they didn't live their life wastefully.

kind of jealous at people who can just "hear" characters in their head. i have a lot of difficulty with that but maybe i haven't put enough effort? i can vouch that your dialogue is entertaining, kekek. is there a specific reason why you can't write kaeya?

you're right about vilifying people who have hurt you. life is never that simple as much as we want it to be. not that oversimplification is bad, but oversimplification without acknowledgment of complexities is just wishful thinking--to me. i think that's also the area of mental illness people can't romanticise, so it's rarely talked about even though such mental states and its effects are very real.

you briefly mentioned writing a thoma x reader exploring this theme and i am so down bad for it. i AGREE. i've shared this with my friends but thoma is very lucky he found himself in a loving family. his sense of loyalty can go so wrong in bad hands, and i don't think the kamisatos are that innocent either. i mean, hyv probably want to portray them as such, but fanfiction is transformative work for a reason, haha.

omg 4 goals... i wish you all the best with yae's fic. it's definitely a double-edge sword not having a clear picture of what you're going to write. may 2023 be a year we finish a portion of our wips, haha. -- @milkstore

It just boggles me. Why are people reading fics from so long ago? Are they that deprived of cringe content??? I don’t have any works on Wattpad though… which probably is a good thing. There’s a lesser chance of them being found on a dying site… :’)

And despite whatever I say, Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness is actually my favorite fic. I love having convos like that with my friends. You’re completely right about reader being a foil. Whenever I see Zhongli, I always felt that like… he needs a friend, one that only knows him as Zhongli, and one that can give a different frank point of view. I’m excited to write the companion piece to that one, But It’s Better Than Drinking Alone. But I’m still trying to work out everything in my head. It takes place after his second character quest.

While I can hear character’s voices in my head, I’m definitely not the best at figuring out how they’ll even respond in the first place. If I know how they’ll respond, I can figure out how they’ll word their response. For Kaeya, I NEVER know how he’ll respond to things. So reading your Kaeya fics, it’s just so fascinating. You write him in a way that has me like, “I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!!!” It’s so in character. I love it!

And you’re completely right about the oversimplifying without addressing the complexities. With mental illness too, it’s easy for people to whine about how much it affects them, but it’s rare people look at the effect their mental illness(es) have on others. Or at look at it objectively and not in the eyes of “oh I hate myself so much I’m a burden :’((((((“

For that Thoma story I want to write, you’re completely right. I don’t think the Kamisatos are as innocent as they make them out to be. I feel Ayaka is aware of everything, but Ayato… Have you ever read his line about preferring dogs? I’m sure all of his servants and the Shuumatsuban are extremely loyal, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be raised like that. Children naturally want praise and they’ll try their best to achieve it. So to devote their life so loyally only to be treated as nothing better than a dog in the end. And then on top of that for such a favored position of housekeeper and close confidant to be given to a foreigner? I imagine it’d break a person.

And thank you for the best wishes!!! Not having a clear view is killing me. I may write it and then put in a deleted scene…… Idk…. orz DO YOUR BEST TOO.

Answering two asks in this haha

I know right??? People that can write a full story with only a few words… It’s a power that I do not possess. Especially one that has a very satisfying ending and achieves the right level of emotional impact. Even though you deleted your Kaveh fic, I really loved the way you illustrated the reader’s mental state. You didn’t state it clearly, but painted the scene clearly of anxiety-induced stagnancy and how it gets worse the more you stay stagnant.

I really need to do research on romance tho haha. Like… When I first started writing that Zhongli fic, people sent messages wanting there to be romance and I remember sitting there like… “I didn’t write this with romance in mind….” Honestly I have a hard time seeing him pursue a romance with a mortal, let alone any romance in the first place. As of right now, I still am not sure how I want it to end or if I’m capable of having it have a more intimate end. I’ll have to just see where it takes me. orz

And thank you for the offer for beta reading! I actually will take you up on that. I just need to find the time to message you. I swear I have a discord but I always forget to hop on it. I know I said I’d message you a while back, but I still plan on doing it!!!! I just have to get over the fear of sending a message and being like, “Hello, sorry my wips are a tangled mess…. :’))))” I’m just shy lol orz

You mentioned love triangles in your reply to my ask and like… Harems and love triangles are on the same level for me. I will respect your right to torture yourself with harems. LOL I’ve actually lowkey seen a harem irl for myself and like… In love triangles and harems, the person everyone falls in love with are always clueless, but like… THAT JUST AIN’T REALISTIC IRL. Those people know exactly what they’re doing. They just like the attention too much to give it up.

…

That being said… That being said……….. When I see those things happening irl, I don’t really care. I can interact with all of those people just fine. They’re all usually very fun people. But somehow when it is in written format, my brain just explodes and I just, “AAUUUGHGHGHGHGH”

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

You have absolutely ruined smut for me! So much of the stuff I’ve read now is pale and dry compared to your writing!! It’s like I’ve been eating plain bread all my life and I just ate a feast!! I can’t go back now! You raised my standards too high!!

In all seriousness I love your daemon x reader series! I’m not even very into the got and its universe, but your writing is so compelling (not just the smut!) Your write the characters in a very compelling way and I love how we get multiple perspectives! You are an amazing author! Sorry!! For!! All!! The!! Exclamation!! Marks!! Your writing is just so good.

Do you have any steamy fanfic or book recommendations? This also extends to your followers. As I said, my standards for x reader smut fics have rise, and I don’t really know any good steamy original works....

Thank you so much for the update! It made my day! I hope you have a great day!!

AAAAH, thank you so much! I'm so honoured that you enjoy the filth that comes spewing from my grotty little mind, haha! It's always fun to write depraved shit with flowery prose, gives it the illusion of being classier than it actually is. I really appreciate how kind you are, my writing is something I've definitely developed over the course of this series so it's awesome to hear such lovely feedback!

I'm so happy you like the series! I've found that HotD seems to be a little more accessible for people than GoT was, as there's plenty of fans who've come in completely fresh with no real interest in GoT and that's awesome. I think the plus is that it's centred on a single family, rather than darting around all these different places and confusing the hell outta people. I'm glad I can write stuff that people find interesting enough to read, honestly, so thank YOU for sticking around to read it! I've never been called an author before, that's fucking WILD. And don't worry about the exclamation marks, lol, I do it too. Sometimes I wonder if it makes me look really manic in text form. But I'm always so EXCITED!

Oof - I'll be the first to admit that I don't actually read original smut, literally ALL of my encounters have been fanfic-only. For that, I'd quite literally recommend the whole of AO3 (Archive Of Our Own); I know a lot of people read Wattpad, but from what I can tell the overall quality of AO3 is so much higher, and the site itself is set up really well. There's plenty of smut there, and it's also a place that doesn't regulate the type of content it contains - so, like, they don't delete stories that contain dark themes or incest, non-con, etc. So if you're into that kind of content, it's definitely a place to find it.

Thank you so much for this, nonnie! I'm so glad you enjoyed the latest update!

[wandapinkay]

HIIIII it's friendly anon back again!! ヾ(ゝω・)ノ

the pleasure is all mine, i assure you! :D i was a bit apprehensive to drop in your inbox at first - since i'm not well-versed in self-shipping culture and ask culture on this site is tragically dead - but i got a cool new parasocial friendship out of it and i discovered a new and exciting way to consume media and enjoy characters, so i'm glad that i did!! \^o^/ it took me a long time to realize it, but i truly think self-shipping was the last piece of the puzzle that i was missing in my previous hyperfixations. so what if that man is fictional, what do you mean he can't be mine??

in other news, i've already gotten four of my friends to watch steins;gate and i also recently convinced my sister and her husband to give it a try! i have rewatched the entire show three times alone this month, i am fully insane 🙏

WAITTTT THOSE CATBOY EDITS ARE SO CUTE ACTUALLY 🥺🥺i'm so impressed with how authentic they look, how did you capture the steins;gate style so well?? the second one on particular looks so real, suddenly i'm convinced daru was a catboy the whole time and i just never noticed lol

MAD respect for that 200-unit daru pic collection btw, i've been deep-diving in the darkest corners of the internet for fanart of okabe and i have found some amazing comics featuring daru that made me think of you ( ¯ ³¯)♡! on that note, i've also seen some very sweet drawings of daru with baby suzuha which, out of curiosity, made me wonder what your thoughts on them are together as father and daughter! i adore them honestly, but i'm curious to know if you feel differently about them since you self-ship with daru! i've seen a couple selfshippers in another fandom i frequent who have drawn fankids with their f/o's before and that got me wondering since suzuha is a unique case :)

ASDFJAKSFKSF YES THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE VN idk why i called it that, i think someone else called it that in a reddit post-

nevertheless, my point stands. i cannot even begin to express my disappointment that we didn't get to see daru OR okabe in a maid outfit. heck, we didn't even get to see daru in his penguin suit (though the fact that he was really popular in it made me cackle)! i mean it when i say that if the devs hadn't been cowards and gave us frilly daru and okabe, i would not have looked even twice at the girls. the men yearn for the frills!!! \o/

wahhhh you really are so nice, i appreciate you a bunch :) :) and wow, i thought for sure you'd been part of the community for longer than a year, you seem so comfortable here! was it easy for you to get settled in the community? you've been so nice, but i'm a bit scared to dip my toes in the self-shipping tag if you have any advice👉👈 (thank you again for being so kind and accommodating!! ^^;)

I DID, I SAID THE LINE!! WHERE IS MY PRIZE

your message has been delivered and summarily ignored except for the kiss which he accepted with dignity :3

to sign off, i am blowing both you and daru a pair of friendly kisses! i wish you both a very good night AND OH MAN I ALMOST FORGOT IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY IN TWO DAYS??? in that case, i wish you both a good night AND a wonderful valentine's day if you have any plans!!

thank you again for reading!! i will most assuredly be back if i am still welcome! (ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

OMG HI ONCE AGAIN!! SO SORRY IF I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER YOUR ASK, I WAS BUSYY 😭 Still so happy for the fact you're enjoying your new hobbie, I think everyone should try selfshipping at least once in their lives.. and woAHH amazing steins;gate propaganda you've done there! Wish I could do that to most of my friends but some have already seen it ages ago and some aren't just interested so I just kinda gave up HFH ALSO HOOOLY and I thought finishing the series in like,, 2 months was mental but you got me there I'm honest /lh I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT?? I just kinda went with it by using a small brush with no pressure and blurring out everything a little bit so it matched the og pic's quality I suppose?? I'm happy you think they seem legit, I did my job well then ; u ; <3 OMG THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU THOUGHH 🥺🥺 now you got me curious on which ones you're referring to waa.. ALSO UMM.. ABOUT SUZUHA- I had a few concepts for how my relationship with Daru would work in-universe.. so I made a couple of them: one is the "good" ending I guess, while another is just "angst™"

.. yeah, can you tell I felt awful while coming up with the second one? GDGSFGFSD IT'S FINE THOUGH, I'M OK NOW But this is besides the point; I actually really love Suzuha's character and I prefer her over the other girls.. and my favorite dynamic is hers with Daru and Yuki (ironically).. seeing Daru being a dad melts my heart because sometimes I wish I had a father figure as sweet as he is aaa I prefer to see myself with Daru than project myself onto Yuki though, because I'd treat him differently than he does sometimes if I gotta be honest Still, hope you like the silly ideas- WAIT,, UH?? DARU HAS A PENGUIN SUIT?? I NEED TO SEE IT SO BADD 😭😭 Also fr, why can't they just satisfy the boy's fans for once,, I feel like they're leaving us out on purpose at this point- /j

Btw, for the selfship community part, I didn't really do much! I just started to post my artwork in the tag and started following and interacting with some peeps, although rarely because I'm still akward about it, but the people in it are so nice!! In my opinion, it's worth a shot!

Also thank you so much!! I hope you had a great Valentine's day with Okabe as well, sending you kisses as well! I posted a fanart that is kinda vday themed but nothing selfshippy unfortunately, but me and Daru would have probably chilled at home, exchanging eachother chocolates and stuff like that! Idk, I'm not a very "outside" person but if we had in plan to go somewhere like the May Queen to get something together, I wouldn't have minded either!

Of course you're welcome to come back, it's always a pleasure! Since I don't get asks often, it brightens up my day to see something in my inbox once in a while, so thank you still for feeling comfy enough to come back! Have a great day/night! 💕💕

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Inertia Creeps

Cennis

Summary:

If everyone but you believes you're mad, who is wrong? Ciel Phantomhive, patient D18, is not mad. Sebastian Michaelis, new orderly at St. Victoria's Asylum, agrees. Eventual light Sebastian x Ciel, AU.

Notes:

ArgentNoelle made a cool as fuck trailer for the fic, thank you so much!!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWx-TzynuCs

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

۞

Chapter One

۞

Dust billowed in the scorching air, the sun raining down mercilessly upon the packed dig site. The archaeologists sped around from section to section of the small land, the excitement positively tangible. Every person on the site was grinning from ear to ear as discovery after discovery was unearthed, and each of their pay-cheques got that little bit fatter.

All except for one.

Sebastian Michaelis was bored.

Sebastian Michaelis, the man who was single-handedly unearthing each of the awe-inspiring discoveries, was bored.

Sebastian Michaelis, who may very well have become a millionaire over the last three weeks, was so mind-numbingly bored that the second his watch alarm went off signalling the end of his shift, he cast aside his brushes and left the dig site without a single look back.

He'd been so excited, at first. Archaeology, something he'd never tried his hand at before, something new, something interesting... for the first five minutes. Digging all day under the hot desert sun, being choked with dust and debris, all over some poxy little bones that belonged to some ancient three-legged rat that obviously hadn't been able to run fast enough.

As you may have guessed, for Sebastian Michaelis, the novelty wore off fast.

That was true for any job the man had ever had, however.

His first job, fresh from high school and rearing to go, had been a simple shop clerk role. A nine to five kind of thing. Getting tired of that was perfectly reasonable, especially for a man of many talents such as him. He found out early in life that he could get pretty much any job he wanted as soon as his application was seen. Unfortunately, every job he wanted tended to get tedious awfully fast. Builder, plumber, blacksmith, lion tamer, waiter, candlestick maker, nothing could keep him interested, and as soon as he felt even a smidgen of boredom, his two weeks notice was handed in. Usually met with sobbing and begs of not leaving, but handed in none-the-less.

Sebastian fancied he'd discovered his problem. Every job he was going for was too flashy, too obvious. He hated flashy, he hated obvious. So, desperation seeping in, Sebastian went to the most level-headed person he knew.

Agni.

Agni and he went way back. They'd met in high school, become fast friends and even went to college together, sharing a dorm room. Then Agni had gotten some obscure job and disappeared off the face of the planet. Luckily, he still sent annual Christmas cards to Sebastian, rather cute considering he didn't even celebrate the holiday, and had given an address.

It had only taken a week to hear back from St. Victoria's Hospital, though that didn't surprise Sebastian, and within two days he'd packed up his life from the small Soho apartment and was on a plane to England.

“Mr. Sebastian Michaelis?”

Stepping out of the airport, Sebastian looked for the source of the voice, and met the eyes of a tall, tan woman waving him over.

“That's me.” He gave his usual charming smile, amused but not surprised as pink flooded her cheeks. She offered her hand.

“My name is Hannah Anafeloz, I'm a nurse at St. Victoria's. I've come to pick you up,” she stated meekly, as though reciting a well-practised line, eyes looking everywhere but at his. Sebastian shook her hand, holding on to it for longer than necessary if only to see her squirm, before she led him towards her car.

The ride from central London to whatever obscure location the hospital was at was more exhausting than the plane ride. Endless fields of green and sheep darted by the window for three hours straight, like the animation budget had run out, and Hannah was apparently incapable of driving a car and conversing at the same time, two mangled fences and a missing wing-mirror evidence to that. This job wasn't shaping up to being a boredom-killer so far, though that may have just been England's influence. He'd always found the country rather lacking in excitement.

He must have dozed off at some point, one minute the sun barely risen and the next it was high in the sky, noon.

“We're here, Mr. Michaelis,” Hannah said, climbing out of the car. Blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Sebastian got out of the car too, almost treading on a spectacularly small man under his feet. He apologised, catching himself before he stumbled, but the little man just chuckled, grasping Sebastian's hand tightly.

“Welcome to St. Victoria's, Mr. Michaelis. I am Tanaka, one of the Chairmen of the Institute.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tanaka. Thank you for taking me on so quickly. I won't let you down,” the usual speech, Sebastian almost struggling to actually make it sound sincere. Tanaka's grip on his hand tightened almost painfully.

“Letting me down will get you killed, I'm afraid, so make sure you don't,” he chortled before tottering towards the big oak doors. Sebastian wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. Was that a joke?

“I apologise over the mysteriousness of the situation, Mr. Michaelis. Standard procedure, I'm sure you understand. You will be living in this building, an old dormitory, with the other members of staff. I'll show you to your lodgings first, then a tour of the place seems fitting, hmm?”

It was a question, but Sebastian was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to give an answer.

The building was like some horror-movie cliché, with it's long draughty hallways, dark and dreary colours, everything coated in dust and looking like it hadn't been touched since the Victorian ages.

Working here was becoming less and less appealing. Sure, he'd been looking for something unflashy and unobvious, but this was just ridiculous.

A dozen hallways and several flights of stairs later, the two came to a stop.

“This is your room. We supply the necessities, any luxuries you'll have to acquire yourself. Unfortunately the rooms are adjoined, but I doubt you'll have to worry about anything. We're all respectful of privacy here.”

Tanaka dropped a key into Sebastian's palm.

“Inside you'll find your key-pass. With it, you'll be able to open any door in the institute, though bear in mind that all uses of it are recorded by the system.”

Sebastian nodded, luckily taking in the information load.

“There's something I need to attend to for a little while, so why don't you get to know your colleagues? I'll be back shortly.”

As soon as the little man tottered off, Sebastian entered his room, and blanched.

Well, it certainly wasn't The Plaza, that was for sure.

No bigger than the closet back at his old apartment, the room was bare apart from the rickety-looking desk, god-only-knows how old bed and minuscule cupboard. The faded wallpaper was torn in more places that in wasn't, revealing petrified wood. There were two other doors besides the one he'd come in through, presumably to his colleagues' rooms, and Sebastian noted that neither appeared to have a lock on them.

What was that Tanaka had said about privacy?

With a sigh, he resigned himself to his fate, and begun unpacking the bags that had somehow beaten him to the room. Being a traveller, Sebastian never really bothered with 'luxuries' as the man called them, taking only things like clothes. He had a few random books too, but apart from those, he was travelling lightly this time. A good thing, considering how little room he had to work with here.

It didn't take him long to get settled into the room, little over a half hour, so bracing himself for the worst, Sebastian knocked on the closest of the two doors.

The worst was exactly what he got.

No sooner had his fist met the wood did the door swing open, and if Sebastian had been a man with slower reflexes, he'd have been minus a head.

Crimson eyes wide, Sebastian turned to look at the thing impaled in his wall, mouth opening in surprise. A knife?

“You must be the new person,” a sharp voice noted from inside the other room, footsteps coming towards the open door.

A man not much shorter than him strode into the room, striking hazel eyes fixing him with a glare. He plucked the embedded knife from the wall with ease, using the blade to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian blinked at the expectant man, weighing the chances of losing a digit if he offered his hand.

“Yes, I'm Sebastian Michaelis. You are?” He tried not to sound shirty, but the guy had nearly done a Sweeney Todd on him. Not exactly a great first impression.

Apparently he wasn't making a great one either, as the man's eyes narrowed further.

“William T. Spears. You may call me Mr. Spears. Now that the pleasantries are over,” Sebastian really didn't want to see the man when he was being unpleasant then, “there are some ground rules you need to make yourself familiar with. Firstly, you do not enter my room. Don't even knock. Secondly, you do not touch my things. I do not like people touching my things. Thirdly, on the chance that the two of us have a shift together, you will arrive at the exact time specified. I do not like to be made to wait. Fourthly-”

“Geez, Will~ Which poor unfortunate are you lecturing now?” Another voice cut through the rant, a very unwelcome one if the look on Mr. Spears', Will's, face was any indication.

“I am not lecturing! Merely making myself clear to avoid any unnecessary disputes,” Will snapped to the redhead sauntering into the room through the other door.

The complete opposite to Will, the new man... woman... person flashed Sebastian a grin. Not so much a welcome to the neighbourhood! grin as a sleep with one eye open! one. Flaming red hair fell to their waist, matching the rest of the red they were wearing, and not that Sebastian was one to judge, but somehow he doubted that their hair was all that was flaming. It may have had something to do with the way the man, definite lack of a rack there, swung his hips as he walked, or tossed his hair over his shoulder, or punctuated each statement he made with a wink.

Or it may have been the ass-pinching.

Yeah, probably the ass-pinching.

Before Sebastian had a chance to punch the guy into next week, he danced out of the way with a giggle.

“Ooh, fresh meat! And a handsome bit at that~ How do you do, I'm Grell Sutcliffe, and if you need anything, and I mean anything, just ask.”

Twitching at the blatant come-on, Sebastian plastered on his business smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Sutcliffe, I'll bear that in mind-”

“Oh please, Sebby, just Grell is fine!”

“...Alright. Grell. I prefer to be called Sebasti-”

“Ooh! I'll introduce you to the others!”

Sebastian could almost see the sheer amount of punctuation marks as the other spoke.

Before he could decline, Grell had attached himself to Sebastian's arm and was pulling him out of the room with a lot more strength than he looked to have.

It took all of five minutes for the annoyance with Grell that would last Sebastian's entire stay at St. Victoria's to be borne. It took the same amount of time for Grell to decide that he wanted Sebby to be his babies' daddy, despite Sebastian's insistence of common sense and science.

When Grell said others, he really only meant two people, since there had only been four Orderlies to begin with. Grell, Will and Agni being three of them. The fourth was a youthful man by the name of Ronald Knox who was clad in identical glasses to Grell and Will and was too busy flirting with the receptionist to learn more than Sebastian's name. To his annoyance, the boy was calling him Sebby too.

That was going to have to stop.

Then Grell had dragged him to meet Agni.

“Sebastian!” The white-haired man had pulled him into a hug, which Sebastian returned despite Grell's pouting, beaming. “I didn't know you'd be arriving so soon!”

“The sooner the better, I figured. You look well, Agni.” Sebastian smiled, a rare genuine one, as he looked over his friend. The man hadn't been faring too well the last time they'd seen each other, shortly before Agni had been hired here, exhausted and the weight dropping from him.

“Thank you. Have you found your room yet?” Agni pulled him over to a table, both ignoring Grell who was whining about being ostracised.

“Yes. I'm already unpacked. They're rather...”

Agni chuckled.

“Basic? Mmm. I knew they'd be different to what you're accustomed to. You'll get used to it soon enough, though. It's just a place to rest your head, really.”

“...You never mentioned in your letters that the staff were mental too.”

“Oh dear. What happened?”

“Well, I was almost skewered, then violated by someone who wants me to bear his children... or he wants to bear mine... It wasn't clear. If this is what the staff are like then the patients will be a breeze.”

“You haven't met the psychiatrists yet,” Agni laughed.

۞

An hour later, Sebastian could see just what Agni meant.

Tanaka had come to fetch him from the dining hall he'd been with Agni in, his business apparently taken care of, and the tour began. They left the boarding house and went to the actual building . First they'd gone to meet the Head Orderlies, Sebastian's direct superiors, and the experience was not a promising one. For reasons he couldn't pin down, Sebastian couldn't stand the two of them. They'd not so much as said their names, Ash and Angela, when Sebastian decided there was just something about the two he didn't like.

To be fair, if the looks he was getting from the two were any clue, it was a very mutual feeling.

After a tense and all together awkward induction, Sebastian was relieved to be led out of the shared office.

The next meetings weren't that bad, to be fair. Tanaka took him to the Infirmary, where he introduced him Doctor (whether that was his name or not, Sebastian had no clue, but that was all they called him). Sebastian was relieved to find that, unlike most of the staff he'd met so far, Doctor actually seemed sane, which is always a good thing. A very amiable man, confined to a wheelchair but clearly not bothered by the fact, who was very passionate about his job. Along with him were his aides, a set of triplets named Cantebury, Thompson and Timber, and Hannah, the woman who'd picked him up from the train station.

Unfortunately, the meeting after that did nothing to reaffirm Sebastian's suspicions of whether the staff were secretly patients, and this was all some big test before he actually got the job.

Tanaka took him to the psychiatrists wing of the building, informing him along the way that unfortunately the Head Psychiatrist, Claude Faustus, was with patients all afternoon, and sent his greetings.

There were three other psychiatrists, however.

The first was a man by the name Charles Grey. He was a boyish-looking man, with a plastered on smile and a sharp, if not rather sarcastic, wit. Their entire meeting he'd been grinning, yet somehow managing to still look at him like he was a bug crawling along the man's freshly-cleaned floor.

One of the other men was also called Charles, Charles Phipps. Apparently they went by their last names to avoid confusion. He was polar-opposite to the other Charles, tall where the other was small, quiet where the other was loud, stoic where the other was hot-tempered.

The third and final person was probably the oddest of them all. Barely looking old enough to be out of school, never mind working at an asylum, John Brown was a middle-ground between Grey and Phipps. Calm, though not exactly poker-faced, and seemingly very polite. At least until the handpuppet came out. The handpuppet, apparently called Albert, that, according to John, had taken a very big dislike to Sebastian, and constantly insulted him the entire time he was in the office.

The staff sanity debate aside, Sebastian was more than a little concerned that people's mental health were in the hands of those three. He could only hope that Claude Faustus had more marbles rolling around in his head than them.

Relief flooding through him when Tanaka told him that the tour was pretty much over lasted as long as it took for the explosion beneath them to hit.

“Ah! Of course! I almost forgot to introduce you to our chef.”

If that wasn't foreboding, Sebastian didn't know what was.

When they got down to the kitchens, they were on fire, but this didn't seem to be anything new. A tall man coated in ash was wrestling with a fire extinguisher, cursing loudly as he tried to pry the nozzle free.

“Bardroy? Have you got a minute?” Tanaka asked as though there wasn't a raging fire where Sebastian was pretty sure an oven was supposed to be and... was that a flame-thrower in the corner? That explained so much yet so little.

The man, Bardroy, looked up from his battle with the inanimate object and flashed them a grin, cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth.

“Sure thing, boss! What's up?”

“I'd like to introduce you to our new member of staff, Sebastian Michaelis. He'll be joining the Orderlies. Mr. Michaelis, this is Bardroy, the Institute's Chef.”

“Hey! Nice to meetcha, Sebastian. Call me Bard, everyone does,” the ash-coated blond said, outstretching his hand. Sebastian accepted the hand, returning the man's smile.

“A pleasure, Bard.”

“B-Bard! The alarms going off!” a high-pitched voice exclaimed, a redheaded woman stumbling into the room. A petit blond boy jogged after her, blue eyes wide.

“Whoa, big fire today.”

Sebastian cocked a brow. So this was a daily occurrence?

“Good timing. Guys, this is Sebastian, the new blood. Sebastian, this is Finny, the Gardener, and Meirin, the Housekeeper.”

The little blond, Finny, beamed. Meirin, on the other hand, took one look at Sebastian, all the blood in her body rushing to her face, and promptly collapsed.

Watching the commotion going on in front of him, Bard resuming his battle with the fire extinguisher as said fire continued to blaze, Finny prodding the unconscious woman, and Tanaka watching on with a chuckle, Sebastian decided that he'd been right before. If the staff were like this, how bad could the patients be?

۞

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

۞

Chapter Two

۞

Sunlight filtered through the curtains, warming his face. His alarm clock continued it's monotonous beeping, but he just couldn't be bothered to hit the snooze button. His bed was far too cosy, and there was a comfortable warmth pressed up against his back, an arm hanging loosely over his waist, that made it clear he'd had an enjoyable night. He must have picked her up from a club... though... he couldn't remember going to a club the night before. In fact... surely there were no night clubs in the English countryside-

“Mmm, your sleeping face is adorable, Sebby~”

…

“Argh!”

Sebastian's eyes snapped open, leg shooting out to expel the unwelcome intruder from his bed. Grell crashed to the floor in a blur of red.

“Don't be so cold...”

“What the hell are you doing in my bed?!” Sebastian demanded, his usual civility forgotten in the early hour.

“I thought you might be lonely on your first night in a new place,” the obviously mentally-challenged redhead crooned, resting his chin in his hand and looking far too comfortable sprawled on Sebastian's floor.

It was a fact known to very few, his mother and Agni possibly being the only ones, that Sebastian Michealis was not a morning person. Low-blood pressure and all that. His usual polite composure was no-where to be seen if his temper was remotely shaken any time before ten o'clock.

Unfortunately for Grell Sutcliffe, it was just gone seven thirty.

“Whoa, Sebby, so rough!”

Sebastian, dragging Grell by the scruff of his scarlet nightdress, grasped the door handle and threw it open.

It should also be known that Sebastian's usually impeccable smarts were somewhat dulled by early mornings too. If it had been ten oh one, he probably would have realised that the door he'd just flung open wasn't Grell's, but Will's. The mistake was quickly realised as a home-made harpoon narrowly missed lancing him through the chest.

Just another morning at St. Victoria's Asylum, as Sebastian would soon come to realise.

۞

Sebastian thought his morning couldn't get any worse. Then Agni took him to breakfast.

The dining hall was pretty empty, though apparently it was never particularly full. The number of staff working at St. Victoria's was quite minute. Sebastian had assumed there would be quite a lot of people, so was surprised. Apart from the people he'd met the previous day, there were only a few faceless cleaners and nurses.

Ronald, Will and Grell were already there, Grell more than a little worse for wear after Sebastian had shoved him into Will's room and shut the door. Will was cutting what might once have been an omelette into squares meticulously, obviously ignoring Ronald, who was trying to start a food fight.

Food being used roughly, here.

Agni concealed a chuckle behind a cough, watching Sebastian's eyes widen as he took in the spread.

Charcoal was apparently the theme of the day.

“You get used to it, Sebastian, honestly. It tastes better than it looks,” the Indian man tried to reassure, choosing odd bits of blackened things and putting them on Sebastian's plate. He sympathised, he really did. Agni knew perfectly well what a picky eater Sebastian was, especially considering he was such a good cook that other people's food just didn't match up. He probably would have been better taking a chefs role rather than an Orderlies.

“You met Bard?” Agni asked, steering clear of Will & Co's table. You could practically see Will's fuse shortening.

“Briefly. He was... preoccupied.” Sebastian poked at what he assumed was bacon, half-expecting it to oink.

Agni laughed, “He usually is. He does like to experiment in the kitchen.”

The experiments should have stayed in the kitchen, Sebastian thought, as he took a brave bite and almost retched. Agni was right, it did taste better than it looked, not that that was much consolation.

Once they'd choked down enough to prevent starving, Agni led Sebastian towards the main building. Despite himself, Sebastian was actually growing nervous. If he was having this much trouble with the staff, how was he possibly going to handle the actual patients?

Agni must have noticed his tension and assured him it was probably going to be a quiet day, that it had been relatively calm for a while now.

That soothed Sebastian for all of five seconds.

As soon as they stepped through what must have been the hundredth security door, a blaring siren almost deafened them. Those nameless nurses he hadn't nor did it seem likely that he would meet were rushing by, panic clear in every movement. Agni grabbed one in passing, asking what was going on.

“A-Alois!” she gasped before sprinting away. Apparently this meant something to Agni, who's eyes widened, and he sped after her. Sebastian, clueless and curious all at once, was following him before he even realised it.

Agni skidded to a halt in a doorway and Sebastian almost crashed into him, just about managing to catch himself.

“Not again,” Agni hissed, actually hissed, before slowly going into the room.

A knot formed in Sebastian's stomach, the 'food' he'd eaten before almost making a comeback.

In the middle of the room, amidst the squealing nurses and hesitantly approaching Agni, was Hannah. She was silent, lips pressed tightly together against the building scream begging to be let free. Blood streamed down her alabaster skin, staining her once pristine dress. Trembles shook her, but she didn't move, not an inch, in fear of unbalancing the boy straddling her.

He was grinning. A completely mad grin, unhinged laughter bubbling from his lips every now and then, burrowing his fingers further and further into Hannah's left eye. They were buried straight to the knuckle, her blood running down his fingers.

Agni was approaching him like one would approach a wild animal, and maybe that's exactly what he was. The boy's head snapped around, striking blue eyes pinning Agni to the spot, and he twisted his fingers sharply making a pained gasp escape the woman.

Agni froze, “Alois, you're only making things worse for yourself. Please. Get off her.”

His only response was to twist his fingers further, another bark of laughter.

It was sick. The look in the boy's, Alois', eyes. The sheer joy at the pain he was inflicting. He was completely relishing every whimper she made.

With a defeated sigh, Agni retreated, addressing one of the several weeping nurses, “Go get Ciel Phantomhive. He'll listen to him.”

The woman nodded, fleeing the room as though the hounds of hell were after her.

Sebastian had assumed this Phantomhive person was another Orderly he had yet to meet, so was more than a little surprised when the nurse returned with a young boy.

He couldn't possibly have been any older than Alois, and was dressed in the same plain white shirt and white pants, the standard clothing for the patients of St. Victoria's. With dark, almost blue, hair grazing his shoulders, and one sapphire eye, the other covered by a plain white patch much in keeping with the hospital's clothes. He didn't walk into the room so much as he strutted, not in an obnoxious way, but in a way that exuded nothing but pride. He held a regal air, unfitting to someone so obviously young.

His name was Ciel Phantomhive, and even though Sebastian didn't know it at that moment, he was going to change his life irreparably.

The blue-eyed boy paused at the entrance of the room, raising one slender brow as he took in the sight before him. Like everyone else bar Sebastian, he didn't seem remotely surprised.

“Ciel! I'm sorry to bother you, but... well, we can't get him to stop,” Agni murmured, walking to Ciel's side, gaze flittering between the newcomer and the eye-gouger. The boy, Ciel, just looked at Agni, as if to say 'so what?'.

“He listens to you,” Agni continued, tone pleading. Agni wasn't a weak man by any means, he could have bodily removed Alois with ease. He was, however, a pacifist. He didn't want to exert his strength over another, especially someone he considered a child, at least mentally. Besides, if they did have force Alois off Hannah, he could hurt her even further.

Ciel donned a contemplative look, gazing over at the blond boy, “What's in it for me?”

Agni faltered.

“W-Well... what do you want?”

Ciel shrugged.

“Nothing in particular.”

The Indian man was obviously resisting the urge to tear his hair from his scalp, though if Sebastian had been in his position, he'd probably have wanted to do it to the boy rather than himself. He may have been new to the job, but he was fairly sure you weren't supposed to negotiate with patients.

“There must be something. I can't promise I'll be able to do it, but I'll try! Surely there's something,” Agni insisted, desperation seeping in as another choked sob escaped the floored woman.

“Hmm... well, I guess there is something...”

Agni visibly brightened.

“Ash took my marble set off me. Decided it was hazardous,” the boy sneered, obviously he didn't agree, “Will you try and get it back to me?”

“S-Sure! I'll do my best. So...?”

Ciel heaved a ragged sigh, glanced back over to the pair in the centre of the room, and bit out, “Alois! Off her!”

As though a switch had been flicked, the boy's head shot round and, as soon as he saw the other patient, the manic grin melded into a bright, almost innocent smile. He jumped to his feet, fingers sliding out of Hannah's socket with a slick pop that nearly made Sebastian wince, and skipped over to Ciel.

“Ciel~ I thought you were ignoring me!” Alois said, the words sounding like song with the boy's musical lilt. Ciel just shrugged again, neither agreeing nor disputing the claim, folding his arms across his chest. He virtually radiated indifference. At least until the blond outstretched his arms, as though to hug the other, and vivid disgust flashed in the one visible eye. Before Alois' touch even brushed him, Ciel had lashed out, slapping the other's hand away.

“Don't touch me with such filthy hands,” he snapped before turning on his heel and leaving the room with the same swagger he'd entered it with.

The smile slid from the other's face, an almost-pout reaching his lips, and Agni shot forward to place a hand on his shoulder. As though fearing another eye-plucking incident, Agni steered the visibly depressed boy from the room, shooting Sebastian an apologetic look, “Can you take Ms. Anafeloz to the Infirmary, Sebastian?”

Sebastian nodded, walking over to the shaking woman.

“Can you stand?” he asked gently, kneeling beside her and taking her arm. She gave a jerky nod and, with Sebastian's help, lumbered to her feet. The blood was caked across her nose and chin, already dried onto the now-ruined dress. Despite that, she was walking quite steadily once she found her feet, and Sebastian had to wonder whether this type of thing happened often. Seeing that she was surprisingly lucid, he didn't bother holding back, and asked what exactly had happened.

She stayed silent for so long that Sebastian thought she wasn't going to answer, making him jump when she did.

“I was giving him his usual medication- that's one of my responsibilities as Head Nurse, though usually Dr. Faustus takes care of it... His name's Alois Trancy... He's one of our more... volatile patients. But he'd been so well-behaved lately! I-I let my guard down, I suppose...” she muttered, more to herself than Sebastian, and he had to strain to hear her.

Alois Trancy, he made a mental-note of the name, and to never 'let his guard down' around him.

“He's quite bi-polar, you see... He seemed so content, I just didn't think...”

He'd noticed the bi-polarness himself, actually. One second, sunshine and daisies, then the Ciel boy rejected his embrace, and you could practically see the raincloud hovering above his head.

They finally reached the Infirmary. One of the triplets, he'd have to learn to differentiate between them at some point, took Hannah's arm and led her over to Doctor.

“Oh my! What on Earth happened to you, darling? You poor thing,” he cooed, as if to a child, gesturing for her to sit before him.

Sebastian stood off to the side, watching Doctor's hands move around Hannah's face skilfully. He liked this man already, the sheer professionalism he held about him, his obvious passion for his work.

The man tutted, shaking his head regretfully.

“Completely destroyed, I'm afraid. Nothing much I can do but bandage you up. And they're such a pretty colour too, such a pity,” Doctor chuntered, placing a piece of gauze over the former-eye. Hannah didn't seem too fussed over the loss, Sebastian thought, as she merely nodded her head at the diagnosis.

“So careless,” an unfamiliar voice scolded from the doorway. Sebastian watched as Hannah tensed all over, fisting clumps of her ruined dress and casting her eye resolutely to the ground.

The man who walked into the room was as tall as Sebastian, with slick black hair and odd amber eyes, a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles resting on the bridge of his nose. He could have been Will's brother, Sebastian thought offhandly, as he strode towards him, back rim-rod straight.

“You must be Mr. Michealis. I apologise for Hannah's error, you shouldn't have had to escort her.” His voice matched his appearance, carefully free of all emotion. He ignored all the others in the room, even when Doctor attempted to address him, as though they were beneath him. “I was with patients yesterday, so unfortunately I missed your induction. I am Dr. Faustus. You may call me Claude.”

Sebastian stared at the offered hand before him as though it would bite, unsure why. It was like Angela and Ash all over again. This instant, unexplainable dislike. He remembered himself though, his professionalism taking over, and plastered on his for-the-boss smile as he shook the offered hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Claude. You may call me Sebastian, if you like.”

This first name business was making him uncomfortable already. They were all insisting on it, as well. It was like when he was at school, and there was that one teacher who always tried to bond with the kids by letting them call them by name. There was a line drew between people, be they students and teachers or workers and their superiors, for a reason. Sebastian, a worker to the core, always found it uncomfortable when that line was broached.

Nevermind that it was usually because the person, and he'd had this experience with both teachers and bosses, wanted to bond in a very unprofessional way.

“Sebastian it is, then. Come along, I'll introduce you to the patients.”

Claude left the room and Sebastian reluctantly followed, almost wanting to stay in the Infirmary if only to disobey the man.

The atmosphere on the hospital floor was drastically different than what could only have been an hour before. The alarm was no long screaming, the nurses were walking calmly down the halls chatting amiably with one another, it was as though Alois' attack hadn't even happened.

It was forgotten already.

“Every patient has their own room, which is locked at eight o'clock, and isn't opened again until eight o'clock the next morning. They spend most of their time in the leisure room. That is where the group sessions are held too, every Wednesday morning.”

Claude held up his I.D card against the electronic panel as they reached another security door. It swung open immediately, and he ushered Sebastian in.

“Nearly all the patients here only answer to nicknames they've donned. We've found it easier to go along with it, they grow aggressive otherwise.”

Sebastian nodded his understanding, following Claude into the leisure room. It was semi-full, and Sebastian frowned. These were the patients, and none looked any older than early-twenties. No-one had mentioned St. Victoria's was a children's institute.

All eyes turned on them as they walked in, all openly curious, and the loud chatter petered out.

“Everyone. This is Sebastian Michealis, a new member of staff. Introduce yourselves.”

Claude was even shorter with the patients than with the staff, it seemed.

No-one offered their names, real or otherwise, glancing and whispering to each other conspiratorially. Eventually, one of the older looking boys snickered, lazily sticking his hand into the air and giving a lop-sided grin, “I'm Joker. Pardon our rudeness, we're pretty shy.”

This was obviously some sort of inside-joke, and the other kids broke out into giggles.

The boy, Joker, stood from the chair he was lounged across, stretching like a cat.

“Riiight, lemme see. This lovely lady here is Beast, you'll wanna watch her,” he winked at the curly-haired woman, who flushed deeply, “And her equally lovely brother, Dagger.”

Dagger grinned broadly at Joker, relishing in the minor praise.

“Here we have Peter and Wendy, our resident Neverland couple!” the spiky-haired man announced with flourish, earning a mass groan from the others, Peter swatting at him. They looked the youngest in the room, couldn't possibly even be in their teens yet, true to their names.

Joker swaggered towards the other couch, draping himself across the back of it, “Over here we have Freckles. Don't let her pretty face fool ya, she's a feisty one! And this is Jumbo, our very own B.F.G.”

The huge man rolled his eyes, almost fondly, and shoved the man off the couch.

“Over in the corner there is Snake and Drocell. Quiet ones, them,” he whispered to Sebastian like it was a well-kept secret, pointing to the table on the far side of the room where two teens murmured to each other beneath their breath, apparently oblivious to the newcomer.

“Well! It's not afternoon yet, so Soma won't be up for a while. Smile'll be in his room, he doesn't come out much, aaaaaand you know about the whole Alois-debacle so no wonders there. That's pretty much it. Say hi to the fresh blood, everyone!”

Well, if that wasn't reassuring...

“Hiii, fresh blood,” they all chorused with the enthusiasm of a sentenced convict.

“Come along, Sebastian. Let's get some fresh air,” Claude not so much suggested as demanded, striding from the room before he'd even finished speaking, as though loathe to even be there. Sebastian turned to follow him but paused as a hand rested on his arm.

Joker's exuberant grin toned down to an amused smile.

“Welcome to the circus, mate, and good luck. You'll need it.”

۞

Leaves crunched beneath their feet as they furthered down the garden paths. Even by Sebastian's standards, the gardens were quite magnificent. Flowers he didn't even know were blooming all around, the grass was perfectly trimmed, even the fallen autumn leaves were in perfect placements as though there intentionally.

It took a lot to impress Sebastian, but he couldn't deny that these gardens were truly something else.

His charming companion did not share the sentiment.

“I told Finnian to have these leaves cleaned away by now,” Claude muttered beneath his breath, semi-scowling at them as though they'd killed his puppy. Unlikely, since he seemed more likely to eat puppies than own them.

Claude gestured to a bench across from them, taking a seat and raising an eyebrow when Sebastian didn't immediately follow his lead. There was just something about the man that irked him, made him want act petty, like staying standing even if he didn't want to just because the man had sat first. Remembering himself yet again, Sebastian sat down.

“I was surprised. I'd expected there to be more patients,” Sebastian said when the silence became stifling. Claude glanced at him askance.

“They're all rather high-maintenance. Given how much care each of them need, and how difficult it is getting staff, we only take the serious cases. While we're on the subject, Sebastian... a word of caution. You saw what happened to that woman this morning.”

“Yes... that was quite awful.”

He'd also seen how dismissive everyone else had been, especially Claude, who even went so far as to scold her for it. Not to mention how shaken she'd been when Claude had entered the room.

Sebastian had certainly seen.

“I'm rather glad actually.”

“...I beg your pardon?” Sebastian asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

“I'm glad you saw that. Now you will have no silly misconceptions. They may seem like harmless children, Sebastian, but that's part of what makes them so dangerous. As they say, the devil's greatest trick was convincing everyone he didn't exist. Those people will try to convince you they're normal, it's what they do, and they will play on their childish looks and actions to trick you. You mustn't be fooled!”

Claude grew fervent as he spoke, cat-like eyes intense on his own, and Sebastian felt himself growing uncomfortable beneath the other's gaze.

“You mustn't be gentle with them, either. They'll see it as a sign of weakness, and they'll use anything they can against you. Never forget this; they're here for a reason.”

And Sebastian realised just why he didn't like this man.

Dr. Claude Faustus was trusted with the role of Head Psychiatrist. All of the patients mental health was in his hands, and yet... he seemed to hate them. He looked on them with nothing short of disdain, and spoke of them with sheer disgust.

Sebastian wasn't a terribly compassionate man, by definition. What happened to other people was just that, as far as he was concerned. It happened to other people. It was none of his business, and he like to keep it that way. His dislike for Claude stemmed not from compassion for the patients he seemed to zealously hate, but for the blatant disregard of what his post so obviously called for.

Sebastian may have had many many jobs over the years, and he always left them just as quickly as he'd started them. He was damn near promiscuous in his work. However, if there was one thing Sebastian Michaelis prided himself on, it was that when he was doing a job, that job was him. He gave the work his mind, body and soul. That was a worker's aesthetics. His creed.

That was why he disliked Claude Faustus.

۞

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

۞

Chapter Three

۞

A week had passed since the day in the gardens, and the dreaded had happened.

Sebastian had fallen into routine.

The word was damn near blasphemy to him. Things going by schedule, no spontaneity, going through the motions, Sebastian abhorred the very idea. It usually took much longer than a week for it to happen, and it was usually about the time that well-used letter of resignation was handed in.

A part of him was irked that he was even considering throwing in the towel after a mere seven days. Then again, boredom simply could not be tolerated.

Sebastian didn't even blink at the intruder in his bed, grabbing the flaming redhead and tossing him back into his own room. With ease, he dodged what could have been a mini homemade axe (Will, feeling particularly loathing for the time being, wasn't limiting his traps to his own room any longer, determined to catch Sebastian off-guard at least once), and got dressed. Agni, as usual, was waiting outside the door for him and the two went down to 'breakfast'. As with every day so far, Ronald came down later than everyone else, was scolded by Will for being a waste of space, and promptly began using his spoon as a catapult to launch his food at Will's face. Meanwhile, Grell would be trying to feed Sebastian, managing to inappropriately touch Sebastian so much that the dark-haired man was thankful restraining orders were always an option.

By this time, Sebastian had also gotten to know the patients. At least enough to know how to handle them. They were very fond of teasing, though after not getting the rise they wanted from him during the first few days, they reverted to tearing Agni a new one, who spluttered and blushed almost non-stop.

“Mornin', Agni! Oh, and you too, Sebastian!” Soma, one of the few patients that had been missing during the initial introductions, jogged over as they entered the leisure room, face split in a grin.

Sebastian wasn't sure what he'd been expecting from the patients. Maybe after seeing Alois and his apparent hobby, he'd been expecting an entire ward of mutilators. They were, for the most part, quite friendly actually. Especially Soma, and especially towards Agni.

Sebastian didn't miss the light dusting of red across Agni's face as Soma's blinding smile was turned on him.

And Sebastian had been under the impression that Agni was completely asexual. Good for him.

“Good morning,” the Indian responded with a light smile of his own, and as was becoming the norm when he was near the two, Sebastian couldn't help the feeling of being an intruder.

He didn't have to feel that way though long, as a hand sharply tapped his shoulder, and a familiar administrative voice called for his attention.

“Sorry for the abruptness, Sebastian, but I need a favour,” Angela stated, ushering him towards the door and out of hearing range from everyone else.

“No need to apologise, what do you need?” Even if quitting was on his mind, Sebastian would be professionally polite to his (bitch of a) superior until the two-weeks notice was on her desk.

She gave him a tight-lipped smile, “I'm afraid Ash has fallen ill- he's rather prone to sickness- so I was hoping you could cover his shift tonight.”

The tone made it clear that she was telling, not hoping.

“Of course. I hope it's nothing too serious.”

The sincerity was positively dripping from his words.

Angela smirked then, and warning bells rang in Sebastian's mind. Hers was a smile that could make Satan cry for his mommy.

“No, nothing too serious at all. He should be over it in a day or two.”

Sebastian would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed at that.

“Go back to bed and rest up then. Be back here by eight.” With that she stalked away, and he almost had to resist the childish urge to flip her off behind her back. Knowing her, she'd probably still manage to see it. He wasn't entirely unsure that her head couldn't turn a one-eighty.

“Agni, looks like I'll be doing the night shift instead. I'll see you later,” Sebastian called over, managing the impossible task of taking Agni's attention away from Soma.

An almost imperceptible look crossed Agni's face, though it was quickly dismissed.

“Really? Why?”

“Apparently Ash is sick.”

Agni frowned then, a rare thing for the usually cheerful man.

“...Oh. Alright. I'll see you later then.”

Well, that was odd, Sebastian thought as he left the ward. It was almost as though Agni didn't believe him. Angela had said that her brother was prone to sickness, so surely this wasn't the first time someone from the day shift was asked to cover for him? Surely, working there was long as he had, Agni himself had done so.

“Ooh, a slacker~”

It took him a moment to place the disembodied voice.

“Hello, John.”

The puppet actually looked offended.

“Arthur, idiot. Thought you were meant to be smart. That's what Charlie said. He's an idiot too, though, so can't really blame him there.”

“...Which Charles are you talking about? There are a few.”

“Grey, of course. They're both idiots, but Phipps is practically a mute, so it's hard to tell.”

The guy probably called himself an idiot too, if his liberalness with the word was any indication.

“Well, as charming as it is talking to you, I-”

“Claudey'll be mad if he finds out you're skipping work already~”

“I'm not skipping. My shift's been switched.”

“...Pardon?” the puppet was pulled back through the crack of the door, and John Brown's head popped out, the sunglasses still present even though he was inside. Sebastian almost sighed as he realised he'd actually been talking to a puppet.

“I'm covering for Ash tonight.”

And again, like with Agni, that unreadable look flashed across John's face, disappearing as quickly as it appeared. As did John, slipping back behind the door.

“Then get your lazy ass to bed, Stretch,” 'Arthur' dismissed, one mini-cloth hand waving goodbye.

۞

It was just gone eight, and Sebastian was back on the ward. All the doors were locked, the patients inside their rooms for the duration, and he readied himself for a night of wandering empty halls pretending to be doing something. If this was seriously all Ash did, he had it pretty easy.

The place was pretty creepy at night. It was certainly no Gothic castle with portraits that watched your every step and phantom screams echoing the halls, though that probably would have been more interesting. No creaking stairs or tree branches scratching along the windows here. Still, it was almost eerie. It was kind of like being in a school at night. That feeling you get from a place that is usually filled with people and noise, that should be loud and bustling, and the absence of those things is so obvious it's painful. It was like it was wrong. The entire place just felt wrong in it's stillness.

“Who're you?”

Sebastian jolted, resentfully caught off guard at the unexpected voice. He backtracked a few steps to the entrance of the leisure room he'd just crossed. Somehow he'd missed that a light was still on in there, and that there was the faintest shuffle of movement. A single sapphire eye watched him, almost accusingly, and it was the type of look that made you want to apologise even without knowing what you were apologising for.

He was lounged across an armchair, back against one armrest, legs dangling languidly over the other. He was wearing the same thing he'd been wearing the first time Sebastian had seen him, though he probably had a wardrobe filled with those same clothes. The baggy and unflattering long-sleeved shirt, so white it made the already pale person look even more drained, and the drawstring pants that swamped him. His hair was all in a disarray and practically begged for a good combing, that little fact somehow annoying the well-groomed Sebastian.

“It's rude to stare,” Ciel, Sebastian remembered that, stated, visible eye narrowing. Again, the look brought with it the urge to apologise for whatever unknown slight had been committed.

Sebastian wasn't the type to apologise, though.

“I'm Sebastian Michealis. I started working here last week,” he responded smoothly, stepping into the dimly-lit room. A single lamp was the only source of light, leaving most of the room in darkness. The shadows almost seemed to move.

Ciel gave him a once-over then turned his gaze to the table he was sitting before, murmuring offhandly, “I had a dog called Sebastian once,” then looked back at him expectantly, as though Sebastian was meant to respond to the random statement.

“I'm more of a cat-person myself.”

Distaste was evident on the boy's face at that, before he gestured to the chair across from him.

“Are you going to sit or not?” he asked, exasperatedly.

“...If you don't mind my asking,” Sebastian began, sinking into the plush armchair across from Ciel, “how is it you're not in your room?”

“Black or white?” Ignoring the question, Ciel busied himself with straightening out the carefully placed marble chess pieces before him, absently brushing a stray lock of teal hair from his eye.

“Angela told me that rooms are locked at eight, and it's eight thirty now-”

“My room is never locked. I'm less... high risk than the others, so my door stays open. Now, black or white?” he said in the same way you spoke to the kid who just couldn't seem to grasp that crayons are not edible, and Sebastian was further irked.

“I'm sure Angela would have mentioned-”

“You're black.”

Ciel moved one of his pawns, not seeming to think through movements or strategies at all.

“I'm not playing,” Sebastian informed, ignoring how childish the sentence ended up sounding. Alls that was missing was a pout.

“Yes, you are.” Ciel wasn't asking.

“...No. Now, I think you should go to your room.”

“You're covering for Ash-”

“Angela would have said if-”

“-And he always plays with me, so-”

“-there was anyone exempt from the curfew-”

“-now it's your job to play with me-”

“-which she didn't, so-”

“-make your move.”

“-go to your room.”

Sapphire and crimson eyes clashed over the chessboard. Sebastian crossed one leg over the other, raising one brow expertly. Ciel, if possible, slouched further into the chair, lips pressed tightly together in disapproval. Was this man seriously telling him to go to bed? As in, bed time, sleep tight, bed bugs and all that? They stared each other down, neither willing to submit.

Sebastian blinked as Ciel's lips curved up in a ghost of a smirk.

“Afraid to lose?”

Now, Sebastian was no fool. In fact, one could argue he was something of a genius. So he could certainly see bait when it was being dangled before his face. However, it was unfortunate that that particular quality often contradicted another one; Sebastian Michealis did not like to lose. Whether it be a game of chess, sports, cooking, even knitting, he never lost. He may have been graceful in his victories, but he did not let his challengers forget that victory either.

After all of five minutes of 'conversation', Sebastian had decided that this person was someone who was in desperate need of tasting defeat, and who was he to deprive the boy of one of life's vital lessons?

Sebastian gave a smirk of his own.

“You should know, I've never lost a game.”

Ciel sat up straighter in his seat so as to reach the board better, “We'll see.”

۞

The shadows retreated to the deepest corners of the room, chased away by the first few rays of sunlight breaking through the window. The lamp was now rendered useless, but neither moved to turn it off, all eyes trained on the marble chessboard sitting on the table.

Sebastian's face was creased in a very rare frown, index finger of his left hand still resting atop his Rook, other hand poised to his lips. Concentration was obvious in every fine line of his face.

His opponent had, over the course of the night, sunken further and further into the cushions of his chair as Sebastian had gotten more and more into the game, face completely calm, his several victories over the older man coming with ease.

The click of a door opening in the distance and the familiar beeping of the security panel startled them both, and Sebastian's finger slipped from the Rook.

“Checkmate.”

Ciel pushed Sebastian's King down across the chequered panels, no small amount of smugness in his voice.

Sebastian bit back a curse.

“Good morning,” Angela greeted, coming into the room, and Sebastian floundered a little before realising that she didn't look at all surprised to see Ciel there.

So he'd been telling the truth then.

“The next shift starts soon, so you can go get some sleep, Sebastian,” she offered, putting away the chess pieces, apparently oblivious to the scowl that sprung upon Ciel's face when she touched them.

Sebastian rose from the chair with a sigh, suddenly realising just how tired he was.

“You... actually weren't so bad to play against. Ash loses within five minutes, every time. You actually lasted almost an hour at one point... not bad,” Ciel relented, looking loathe to do so, before what could have passed as a childish excitement shone in his eye, “Play me again sometime. Who knows, with more practise, you might actually win one.”

Well, wasn't that almost a compliment.

“I'll definitely win next time,” Sebastian stated, lips curling upwards.

“Heh. I'll look forward to it, Sebastian.”

۞

As it turned out, Sebastian would be waiting for that next game longer than he'd thought.

The next day, he returned to his regular hours. The usual morning routine went ahead before he made his way to the ward with Agni, who was immediately latched on to by Soma, chattering animatedly about something or other. Sebastian glanced around the room and it's residents, surprising himself when he was a little disappointed by Ciel's absence.

As the morning crawled on, Ciel still didn't appear, and Sebastian was starting to grow impatient. The numerous losses still stung. He'd never lost before, not to anyone. Especially not at chess. While he had to admit the game bored him to some extent, he was still proud to say that he was something of a reigning champion.

At least he was, until the one-eyed brat usurped him from his throne.

How was he supposed to take back his title if the kid wasn't showing?

“Soma? When does Ciel usually wake up?” He eventually buckled, and asked the purple-haired man, who Sebastian had learned knew a lot more about all of the other patients and even the staff than was probably good.

“Wake up? Hmm... I'm not too sure, to be honest. But he doesn't really come out here much when Alois is in the room,” Soma replied, fiddling with the string on his pants, pouting when one of his fingers got caught in the knot.

Sebastian glanced around the leisure room, “But Alois isn't here.”

Soma giggled, something someone his age should not do, “Not this room. The Room.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Agni~ I got it knotted again!” Unfortunately, as much of an information-bank as Soma was, he also had the attention span of a squirrel, and he didn't seem to hear Sebastian's question as he shot across the room to the waiting Agni.

۞

It would be another three days before Sebastian would see Ciel again, and even then, it was only for a few fleeting seconds. During those three days, however, it wasn't Ciel he was thinking of much, but rather where exactly Alois had disappeared to. It hadn't occurred to him until Soma had mentioned the boy, but after that incident with Hannah, Sebastian hadn't seen the boy once. Agni had led him from the room, then nothing. Almost two weeks later, and he hadn't returned to the ward.

If Soma's vague words were to be trusted, and Agni would protest very strongly that they were, then Alois was in some room. The Room. Whatever or wherever it was.

It was half way through the afternoon, around the time when the patients got lethargic and quietened down, and the staff relaxed a bit, that Claude entered the leisure room. Behind him, clinging lightly to his sleeve, followed Alois.

Sebastian had to look twice to even realise this was the same boy.

On the first time he'd seen him, although blood-stained and deranged, Alois had given off an effervescent air, with gleaming eyes and face-splitting grins. Maybe he only appeared so happy when he was gouging women's eyes out.

Now, he was meek, skin pallid, eyes dulled, hair hanging lankly around a cadaverous face.

The room went even quieter than it had already been, all eyes turning to the pair in the doorway. Claude, hand resting on the boy's shoulder, leant down and muttered something into Alois' ear. The blond nodded, pulling away from the bespectacled man, and stumbled further into the room. Eyes glued to the floor, he made his way over to the same door Sebastian had been waiting to open, and rapped on the wood.

There were only two people Sebastian had noticed approached Ciel's door; Soma and a girl who called herself Freckles. Any time they knocked, the door had never been opened. This time, however, not long after Alois' fist had met the wood, the door swung open.

No words were exchanged between the two. Alois dragged his eyes from the floor, meeting Ciel's stony gaze, and Ciel stepped aside. Alois darted into the room, the door slipping shut behind him.

Noise rose up again, an almost forced chatter amidst the patients, and the tension in the air dissipated.

Claude caught his gaze and gestured him over. Reluctantly, loathe to even be in the same room as the man, Sebastian obliged.

“Sebastian,” Claude greeted, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

“Hello,” Sebastian replied.

Claude looked towards Ciel's closed door, “Keep an eye on those two, Sebastian. Alois is very easily... influenced by Ciel. I'm fairly certain the incident with Nurse Anafeloz had something to do with him.”

He didn't even wait for Sebastian to respond, turning on his heel and striding from the room the second he'd said his piece.

Despite himself, Sebastian found that he did keep on eye on that closed door throughout the day. A wasted effort, however, as it didn't open again. Not once. They didn't leave the room, even when Soma knocked and jauntily announced it was dinner time. And Sebastian could have sworn that, as he passed next to the door, he heard sobbing from inside.

۞

Sebastian Michealis had worked at St. Victoria's Institute for two weeks. After the first week, he'd begun to feel boredom in the work, and considered handing in his resignation. By the end of the second week, resigning was the last thing on his mind.

Questions were beginning to surface.

Why had the other Orderlies reacted so oddly when Ash had fallen ill and Sebastian had had to cover for him?

Where had Alois been those two weeks, and why was he in such a pathetic state when he'd returned? Even though Sebastian didn't really have a basis for comparison, something told him that that wasn't how Alois generally was.

What exactly was that room Soma had mentioned?

But more than anything, just how damn sane Ciel Phantomhive had seemed when they had played chess throughout the night.

۞

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

۞

Chapter Four

۞

He'd only been in bed all of half an hour, sleep alluding him as usual, when his door swung open and hit the wall with a crash. Half-heartedly, he wondered if the nuisance would leave if he pretended to be asleep, but dismissed the idea. If he pretended to be asleep the brat would probably just sit on him or something.

“Go away, Alois. I'm tired,” the lump under the covers sluggishly snapped.

“Nuh-uh! It's Wednesday!” the blond announced, back to his exuberant self, bounding over to the bed and tugging on the quilt. He dodged the leg aimed at his stomach without even a blink, face-splitting grin not faltering, and finally succeeded in tearing the sheets from Ciel's death grip.

Ciel's temper only worsened when Alois lacked the decency to spontaneously combust beneath his one-eyed glare.

“Come ooon. If you don't come out now, Grey'll just come in and annoy you out anyway, and you know how you hate it when he comes in your room,” Alois reasoned, holding the sought-after sheets and dancing away from Ciel's outstretched hand.

Ciel frowned.

“...He touches my stuff,” he agreed, remembering the last time that damnable psychiatrist had had the gall to come into his room. It was ages until Ciel was satisfied that his models were germ-free.

Not to mention the imbecile had called them toys. They were not toys, they were collectables, dammit!

“Exactly!” Alois thought he'd won the weekly debate until Ciel just shrugged and flipped over, burying his face in the pillow. Annoyance surged up, he was this close to pouting.

“Ciiiel, I have candy~”

If Ciel had been a dog, his ears would have shot up.

Suspiciously, he looked over his shoulder at the newcomer in the doorway, brows furrowing.

“If it's that home-made stuff you tried to fob me off with last time, Soma, I swear to whatever God you believe in...” he trailed off when the purple-haired man opened his palm, a handful of wrapped sweets revealing themselves.

Five minutes later, Ciel was dressed and closing his bedroom door behind him, chewing a mouthful of toffee. Everyone else was already in the leisure room, all the chairs being arranged in a semi-circle in the centre. Both his self-proclaimed best friends flanked him, bickering between themselves about just who would be sitting next to Ciel, neither noticing when he meandered over to a waving Freckles, settling into his usual armchair beside her.

“Mornin', Smile,” she greeted with a bright one of her own. When he only frowned at the stupid nickname, she snickered, snatching one of the wrappers and playing with it.

“Whew, full house today,” Grey began, his ever-present grin plastered across his face. Phipps sat silently beside him, scribbling something onto the clipboard in his lap, looking forever-bored.

“So, let's start with the regular. Go round the circle and tell me how you're feelin', don't be afraid to express yourselves, guys.” No matter what the man said, it always sounded so sarcastic. God, Ciel hated even being in the same room as him. Conversations with Grey never failed to bring up the unhealthy urge to punch a baby in the face.

Peter was the unfortunate sitting directly next to Grey, and snorted, “I'm feelin' like I always feel when you make us do this; like this shit is stupid.”

Grey leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and adopting a look of intense fascination at Peter's words, “Uh-huh. Yes, I'm feeling a lot of pent-up aggression here. Did you get that, Phipps? Make sure to get it word-for-word, we've made a big break through here.”

Peter just rolled his eyes at the obvious mocking, folding his arms across his chest and glancing away from the source of annoyance.

“Alright, Wendy, what about you?” Grey turned to the small girl sat beside Peter, who instantly looked flustered, and shrugged, muttering something about feeling fine. Peter flared up instantly, his temper not good at the best of times, and barked, “Stop makin' her feel uncomfortable!”

Grey just laughed.

Soma was next, and just cheerily responded with a Great!, and Ciel almost smirked as he expertly gave Grey nothing to work with.

Eventually Grey got bored of that, luckily before he got to Beast who would have given as good as she got, and then they'd all have to put up with Dagger rushing to defend his sister's honour for the next hour, which got old quick.

Ciel was pretty sure Phipps was just doodling at this point.

“Alright! Enough of that. Today's key word is self-control.”

Everyone laughed at that, even Ciel couldn't help snickering a little. Grey's amused gaze was upon Alois as he said it.

“Now I know we've discussed this many times before, but because of a certain someone, the higher ups are making me sit through it again. Thank you for that, Trancy. Anything you'd like to say?”

Alois' grin turned feral.

“You talking about what happened with that whore? Pfft, that had nothing to do with lack of self-control. I did exactly as I meant to do.”

It would have been alright if the patients had been the only ones laughing at that. They were insane, right? Things like that amuse them. However, an appalled Sebastian thought as he watched the session from the other side of the room, what the hell was Grey doing, cracking up just as much as Alois? Even Phipps let out a chortle at the boy's words. They... It was like they were encouraging the blond's actions.

Sebastian's gaze caught with Ciel's, and the same disgust that Sebastian felt at the psychiatrists was reflected in the eye that met his. He was almost relieved, but with that relief came yet more confusion. Because yet again, this patient was appearing as more sane than yet another member of staff.

۞

Ciel had disappeared into his room at some point during the session when Sebastian wasn't looking, and his faint hope of maybe catching a game was dashed yet again. A part of him was annoyed that he'd allowed the kid to get under his skin so easily, so quickly, but he was mostly annoyed that he hadn't had his rematch yet.

“Sebastian, there's someone I'd like you to meet,” Tanaka said, pulling Sebastian away from his work and out into the hall. There waited a man. Or a woman. It was impossible to tell beneath the dozens of layers of black. Shaggy gray hair hung across the man's face, hiding his eyes from view. An impossibly wide grin stretched across their face, showing all their teeth and giving the impression more of a vicious snarl than a smile.

“This is one of my fellow Chairmen, his name is-”

“Call me Undertaker,” the man, no woman could have a voice that deep, cut in, a hand appearing from the depths of his overly-large sleeves to grasp Sebastian's in a firm shake.

Undertaker? These people weren't even trying anymore, were they?

“As I'm forced to travel often, if you ever need anything, feel free to go to Undertaker. He resides here year round, and his door is always open-”

“Only if you pay the toll, of course,” yet again cutting across Tanaka, the man laughed, arguably the most unhinged laughter Sebastian had heard to that day.

Tanaka chortled himself.

“Ah, of course. Our Undertaker here does insist you share a joke before you can enter the office. Ah well, just make him laugh and he'll help you with anything.”

A joke toll.

...a joke toll.

Sebastian made a promise to himself as he walked back to the ward to never need Undertaker's help.

۞