#IDK WHY I FEEL SOOOOO EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT

[fratboykate]

Hey papi, how is it going? We miss you around here

just finished rereading all of cfau like two seconds ago. ngl...i kind of hate it but...again...im my own worst critic so 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️. ironic that the only chapter i wouldn't tear to shreds and do a page one rewrite on is the shooting chapter. the one that kept this from being done for years and that i ended up randomly writing on impulse last year is genuinely the only one that isn't absolute hot garbage from top to bottom lol funny how that worked out

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday 💗💜💙(7x04 coda?)

tagged by @tizniz 💖

hi! how are we feeling after 7x04 bc I feel like I'm dreaming and I've been crying the whole day today, my bi heart is sooooo happy😭😭 I wasn't gonna start new wips until i finish the cheating fic, but I opened a new doc and things happened lol - idk what this is, where I'm going with this, or if I'm even gonna continue, I just wanted to peek into Buck's head for a moment haha

___

Oh. Oh. Oooh. So that’s- that’s what it was. Huh.

That’s the first thing going through his mind as Tommy kisses him. It’s like- it’s like a piece of the puzzle finally sliding into place, after years and years of searching, looking for something to fill that space with, that feeling of something being missing. It’s almost weird, really, how easy it feels, how he’s more relieved than freaked out. Because this- oh, this makes so much sense. He’s into guys. He’s been into guys. And right now, at this moment, he’s into Tommy. 

Holy shit, he’s into Tommy.

Buck’s mind has been a whirlwind of chaos and confusion and frustration for days, but now, when Tommy kisses him, it all silences. Just to start anew as they part, butterflies in his stomach so intense he feels like he might float, as a slow smile spreads across his face when Tommy pulls away. 

This is the part of himself he’s been looking for, he’s been denying himself, he’s been silencing for so long. He doesn’t know why now, why Tommy, what it all means and where it’s leading. But he knows that now he feels almost... complete, feels like himself, feels at ease. Feels like Buck.

He feels giddy when Tommy asks him out, and finds that as soon as the door closes behind him, Buck already can’t wait to see him again. Jesus, he has a crush. He’s a grown man in his thirties, just now finding out he’s into guys, and he has a goddamn crush on a guy, and that’s why he’s been acting like a teenager. It makes so much sense now, and Buck feels- well, he’s embarrassed because of his idiotic behavior, and guilty for maiming his best friend, but most of all he just feels relieved. Because he knows now, knows why he’s been so bent out of shape about this whole situation, and can put a name to those feelings.  It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest, that he didn’t even know was there.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @thebravebitch @canonbibuck @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @bidisasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck

[factual-fantasy]

30 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🌊

😅Ah, well this is awkward-

I haven't drawn Gravity Falls in quite a while. And with this sudden fandom resurgence following the book of Bill.. I actually went back and privated a huge chunk of my Gravity falls posts. :x

My reasoning for this is that looking back, a lot of those old posts are rather embarrassing for me 💀 now I respected them all as stepping stones to where my blog is now so I didn't actually DELETE any posts!! But now with the fandom coming back people are finding them aaaannddd.. when ever I get a notification of someone liking an old cringey Gravity Falls post of mine? I just go beet red. uhhg they're sooooo embrassingggg...

SO! For my own comfort, I privated lot of those embarrassing posts. I didn't delete them in case I change my mind and want them back in the future- but they should all be hidden.

Now that that's explained, the comic you're talking about is likely one that I privated parts of out of embarrassment. But if you happen to have a link to one of the parts or can remember the what the comic was about... mayyyybe I could go back and un-pivate it.? <XD But just that comic! It depends on how beet red I turn when I see it-- :x

I've heard of cult of the lamb, seen a lot of fanart for it- and several of my friends play it!... But I still don't know much about it <XD Isn't it like a cult simulator or something..? Idk-- the cult imagery just didn't really feel like my thing 😅

XDDD THANKY IU SO MUCH!! :)))))

@i-v-y67 (Hiding the image because its not my art! <:D )

Sorry man, <XD Maybe someday I will! But for now I got Welcome home, FNAF and Pokémon on the mind 💀

DUDE I LOOOOOVE THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL!! That show has absolutely no right to be that funny XDDD

XDD Aw, thank you! Truly the highest compliment my version of Wally could receive. 😌

Idk how Bibi's name is actually supposed to be pronounced.. but I personally pronounce it as "bee-bee" <XD

And for his little sister Cici, its the same. "see-see"

While I'm at it, Gerald's name is pronounced "erald". The G is silent XDD

Aw man.. Ingo couldn't cope.. 😔😔

No that's not me saying that Emmet loved Ingo less or was emotionally stronger than him- but Emmet sees Ingo as his strong and capable older brother. With some comfort from Elesa, he believed at his core that Ingo could handle what ever he was facing out there.. although his body was wracked with worry..

If the roles were reversed.. I mean.. man..

Ingo sees Emmet as his precious baby brother. Despite them being only minutes apart in age. He knows logically that Emmet is just as strong and capable as he is.. but just imaging his baby brother out there.. wounded and all alone.. he should have been there. he should have done more. He's all alone. What if he never sees him again? What if he dies alone out there?

The separation would quite possibly destroy Ingo..

@anikakitty11

Boop!! :DDD

@cat7890

I'm feeling pretty rough, but doing my best to rest! <:D and thank you!! :)))

@katjustvibinglmao

XDD EGGDOG!!

I don't have many clear ideas for Home yet.. I'm thinking that its pretty sentient. Home can problem solve, make assumptions and learn..

What does it think of everything... I'm not quite sure. I imagine Home to be curious though, and that's why it watches Wally sleep and why it watched Eddie at the Christmas party..

I also pictured Home to have been in an almost coma/zombie like state back when it was dilapidated.. but then I wonder if Poppy would still be spooked by it.. hmm..

It couldn't have been comfortable in that state at least. So when Wally fixed it up, maybe Home was grateful? Or maybe Home is just kind'a coming to and doesn't know how to feel about the neighborhood springing up around it.. overall I kind'a want to keep these general malicious undertones to Home... 👀

Yeah, I didn't have them crushing on each other because I don't like writing romance stuff for characters that are not my own.. <XD

But this doesn't mean that Eddie and Frank cant have a strong platonic bond in my au! :0 One thing I imagined for their friendship is how they met/how it started.

I had this picture in my head that Frank used to butt-heads with the other neighbors a lot more than he does now. Frank had a certain way of talking and expressing himself that some of the other neighbors didn't really understand.. and since Frank can be irritable at times.. well.. I guess the best way to put it is that Frank had a hard time making friends at first..

I imagined that on a particularly bad day, where nothing seemed to be going his way.. Frank was huffing and puffing and just grumbling to himself.. attending to some chores around the house and just overall feeling down. At some point, he realized the package he ordered should be here any second now.. so he stepped outside to check the mail.

When he went outside, whaddya know! The new mailman was here right on time and putting his package in the mailbox. Well FINALLY something went right for him! That's a nice change..

I imagined Frank went out in a huff to grab the mail, not intending to chat.. but 10 minutes later and he was still stood outside talking to the new mailman.

I thought that when Frank spoke to Eddie, Eddie listened intently and waited patiently for his turn to talk without interrupting. When Eddie talked to Frank, he basically asked all the perfect questions in the perfect tone to get Frank to simmer down.

Eddie told him how beautiful his garden looked, and with his tone and bright smile, you could tell he meant it! Well that's a nice thing to say..

Frank asked how he feels about the neighborhood. And Eddies responses were relatively quick and to the point. Huh.. its nice to have no filler in this conversation considering how grumpy he was today..

Eddie makes a comment about Franks nice clothes, Frank chuckles and comments that his grumpy expression probably doesn't make them look any nicer.. Eddie is a little taken aback, "I didn't think you looked grumpy.. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down today neighbor.." Huh.. someone who doesn't just see his frown and assume he's a grump. That's a really nice change..

By the end of their conversation, Franks day had been completely flipped on its head. He had a nice chat with the new neighbor and got his mail right on time. Eddie was respectful, interested in what Frank had to say, and had plenty of genuine compliments to spare.

Since that excellent first impression on Eddie's part, their friendship would grow and grow into what it is today. Not a romantic relationship, but definitely a best friend situation for sure. :)

@viennaarttt

A phone call? :0 Is this one I talked about happening in my at some point and forgot or was this something that happened in canon? <:0 Forgive my poor memory- today is not my day! 😅😅

WAAAAGGHH WAAAA THIS IS SO SWEETTJJA WAHAGHAGGG CANONCANONCANONCANON!!! 😭😭🥺😭💞💞💞💞

@glitchhayden418

AWWWEE!! the little babeee.... 🥺🥺💞💞💞💞

(In response to this post)

Thank you! These past few days have been pretty rough but I'm hangin in there! <:D ...

ALSDO WAAAARRHRHHHAAAA!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THATS SO SWEEETTT RAAAHGGAA!!! 😭😭🥺💞🥺💞💞💞💞

Man I really gotta work on the story/personalities for Julies siblings <XD These ideas for them are just wonderful! Him meeting Julies brother/sisters sounds like a fun drawing idea!

B-But.. with no return address... how am I supposed to send a thank you..? <:'(((

@holly-opal

It is one of my all time favorite shows.. 🥺🥺💞💞💞 I love it to bits. Stanley is my favorite character.. I watched it like twice and I would have watched it a third time but I couldn't watch it without crying so I had to quit <XDD 100/10 would recommend Gravity Falls.💞💞

(Jangles birthday post)

Ahh don't worry, his birthday was actually on the 6th. I was late too! <XD

Also thank you! I'm glad you like the details I added! :)))))

😔😔😔Man, it never ends. Thanks for letting me know though..

I kind'a pictured it being similar to Sans and Papyrus. Well, if Papyrus loved puns that is- XDDD

Their personalities are kind'a opposite. Barnaby is relaxed, laid back and always cracking jokes. Howdy is always on the move (in the warmer months). Always darting from shelf, gotta stock stock stock! Gotta go go go! Got so many things to do!

Barnaby usually hangs out in the shop and chats with Howdy. They like to talk about life, their opinions on different topics. And of course exchange jokes back and fourth XDD

I imagine their friendship is strong enough that they've opened up about some darker things. About their pasts and what not..

Sorry if this wasn't super descriptive and/or didn't answer your question 😅 brain is not braining today!

She's thought about telling someone else. The people she would trust the most would probably be Wally, Barnaby, Poppy and Sally.

Though she's afraid if she shows Wally, he'll be afraid of her. Just like all the other humans were...

She thought about telling Barnaby because he's so laid back and easy going.. perhaps he'd accept her for who she is.. but Barnaby really values honesty.. maybe he'd be upset that she lied to him about who she really is and wouldn't want to be her friend anymore..

She almost told Poppy, but backed out last second. She doesn't want to scare poor Poppy..

She's considered telling Sally.. and since Sally has a similar story to her.. maybe she'd be really understanding and accept her.. but she wasn't sure. So she never told her..

I'd like to imagine Home does, but Wally either doesn't notice them or thinks they're just normal old house things :0

For example, the first picture in this post shows Home before Wally restored it. The peeling paint was supposed to be like rotting flesh, showing a pale red wood underneath.. bright red wood exists in their world, but its not usually that shade of red...

I thought about there occasionally being a faint blowing sound somewhere in the house. Accompanied by drawn out rise and fall in temperature though all the rooms. Wally would say the windows don't seal that well or the walls have poor insulation.. Other's would say it feels like breathing..

I've considered that when Wally tries to hang a picture, the walls leak some kind of thick fluid. Obviously meant to be blood- but I miiiight not go with that one. Since that would be a big glaring problem that would grab Wally's attention-

KSJLJSJK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HOWDY?? XDDD

Also I'm actually pretty thin on ideas for Howdy.. although I DO have these headcannons about Howdy not liking winter/the cold! :0

I imagined that Howdy can't handle the cold at all <XD In the wintertime howdy is constantly cold, hungry and sleepy. This makes him move really slowly and show up late to everything 😔Thankfully he has his good pal Barnaby to lend a hand around the shop. But it just sucks that he's so exhausted in the wintertime and can hardly get anything done..

(In response to this post)

Thank you so much! :DD And ooooo! Yellow and black could work really well! :000

ALSO NOOO DON'T TUMBLE DRY THE CATERPILLAR- XDDDD

@neo-metalscottic (Chandelure post in question)

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! :DDD

And as for Julies sisters/brother, I actually haven't thought about them much.. BUT THIS IDEA IS SOOOO GOOD AND SPOOKY!!! U GOTTA FIND A WAY TO ADD IT TO THE AU!! :DDD

I would like to draw that comic, but its just a huuuuuge project for me to pick up atm <XD

@problematicskeleton

Thank you so much!! :DD Although unfortunately I don't know what image you're talking about.. I don't remember seeing Eddie hurt with Wally carrying him, and I don't have any intentions for Eddie to get seriously hurt! <:0

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[homokommari]

Bruce Wayne for the "send me a character" thing :3

First impression: i dont know, since he has been big in popculture before i was born. he is a bat? very serious?

Impression now: he is sooooo serious. very tsundere of him. given how big dc is and how many different iterations on his character there are, there is very big range of "who bruce wayne is". i have my favorites, which i try to replicate in my stories.

Favorite moment: when he kisses clark- what do you mean that hasnt happened in canon? idk i dont read/watch/play anything.

Idea for a story: a major injury has bruce benched from being batman for a long while. months. recovery is slow. he is sooooo mad at himself and lashes out at everyone. clark cant stan being completely cut off by bruce and eventually he worms his way back into bruce's life. and everyone is soooo relieved bc clark occupies a lot of bruce's time and seems to take his lashings like a champ.

as months pass and there is doubt if bruce is going to suit up ever again, they start talking about what the future might be. bruce isn't saying it, but he fears that without batman, missing this connetion with clark/superman, clark would eventually drift away from his life. clark can tell it's what he is thinking. and one day he just says it all. abt how deeply he cares for bruce, how connected he feels to bruce, batman or not, and how he doesnt want to even imagine a life without bruce. it's embarrassing but rewarded in the end with bruce kissing the breath out of clark. the rest of bruce's recovery is spent in second base. the family learns to knock before entering bruce's room. (bruce and clark's room.)

and then bruce is recovered. clark walks into the cave and is greeted there by batman. it's awkward for clark because this isn't bruce who he has been making out with for the past weeks. this is his collegue who he hasn't been face to face with in months. should he go in for a kiss still?

as clark hesitates for just a moment, bruce's mind is kicked into anxiety overdrive. his face sours and seeing that makes clark not lean in for a kiss.

"...good to have you back, batman."

"hmh."

clark cracks. "can you take the helmet off so i can kiss you?"

bruce tries not to show how hearing that relaxes him. "my lips aren't the part covered up, clark."

"fair enough, i guess. haha." clark chuckles a little self-consciously and leans in for a kiss.

this is canon dc comic. the dark detective: from gotham with love issue #17

Unpopular opinion: he should be tsundere. he masks his love and affection with being aloof and cold and distant. being verbally affectionate with him will make him just want to respond with insults. also he has a vagina. i think thats more controversial. also he is not skinny. uwu

Favorite relationship: idk if this makes any sense but him with... superman? i know its weird, they are aesthetically very different, but you'd be surprised to see how much they have in common in their ideals and how well their personalities come together.

Favorite headcanon: him being trans means so much to me idk why. coping character.

[s4pphic-sh3nan1gans]

Welp I just re-read Zame, si čisti dopamin because of your WIP post even though it ends on a cliffhanger and I shouldn't do that to myself😭😭😭 please tell me Bojan ends up kissing him

awwww thank you so much for re-reading!!! I know cliffhangers kinda make me wanna tear my hair out, so I'm immensely sorry for leaving it on one for so long aksjsksh 😭

so, I had a dive deep into my notes app and I realised that I actually wrote a decent amount of the final chapter?! like... over 1000 words?!?! which I was NOT expecting at all. it just makes me wonder why I lost motivation, usually if I have a big chunk of something done it just makes me want to finish it even more but gosh, idk 😭 sooooo perhaps I should finally finish it after all these months? 👀 it seems like a tragedy to leave it as is.

anyways, for your commendable bravery of reading an unfinished fic, I now gift to youuuuu (drumroll pleeeeease) the start of the final chapter, so far unseen... until now! enjoy 😌

Chapter 5 - Have I ever told you?

The next couple of days raced by for Bojan. Of course, he spent most of his time simply with Jere enjoying his company, but also getting to know his friends and being taken sightseeing around Finland.

If he was being perfectly honest with himself, a solid (and embarrassing) 70% of the time was spent over-thinking every single interaction and wondering if his sentiments were returned, and how he would even begin to bring it up.

(And if the other 30% was spent stealing glances and touches whenever he could... well. That was no one else's business but his.)

The day of the Tavastia concert was finally upon them, and Bojan had never felt so much anticipation in all his life. He simply could not wait for the atmosphere that he knew would feel like liquid electricity injected straight into his veins, heightened even more when he would step out onto stage with Jere, to a crowd not expecting him.

And yet... something was nagging at the back of Bojan's mind. Because as much as he was looking forward to sharing a stage with Jere - with Käärijä - it was also tainted by the fact he knew that he wore his heart on his sleeve and was as easy to read as a book. Maybe not by Jere himself, (because that man had proved himself to be clueless even at the best of times) but by the hundreds of people watching, and the countless thousands more inevitably watching videos online afterwards.

He knew that the fans were perceptive, and he knew that he didn't trust himself enough to keep his reactions and his goddamn smiles under control whenever he's around Jere, and as much as he might try, he knew there would be absolutely nothing he could do about it. To his eternal annoyance, he was in way too deep.

However, despite his worrying, a part of him really didn't care. It was highly likely that any embarrassing, lovesick moments on his part would be seen as a performance, simply fan-service and nothing more... but that simultaneously filled another part of him with dread and nausea, as he feared that is how Jere himself would view their antics. Playing it up for the crowd. Evoking reactions. Getting people talking.

"Bojan?"

He jumped. Jere was looking straight at him and... oh. He was shirtless. Clearly, Bojan had been too inside his own head to even notice him losing an item of clothing. Great, and now he was staring.

ask me about one of my wips!

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

hello! 🐎 anon here. I'm not Dutch lol but close enough, I'm German. The average person isn't quite as tall as over there but literally no one looks at you twice for your height unless you're like 1.90+ meters. anyway what I came here to rant about was that I keep seeing ts releasing new variants of her album, with one extra song or fucking voice memos or whatever it is she's doing. And oh my god how does she not feel embarrassed for ripping off her fans like that. I'm loosely into kpop and even they have more shame when it comes to albums. At least with the group I mainly follow there's usually three versions of the album (lately a digital version and US/UK/Europe exclusive albums too, which is just greedy bullshit imo). for each version there's a different photobook with idk maybe 40-70 pages?, there's stickers, sometimes random other shit and of course the collectible photocards of the group members. And then they all get released the same day and you know its a cash grab lol but at least you get something for your money (25ish euros per album, 3-5 when you buy them second hand later without the photocards. yes thats crazy) and you know there won't be any random other versions appearing after the album dropped. so I just feel like paying money for music and pretty pictures and stickers even though then you own the cd multiple times is of course still a waste of resources, but at least you get something that isn't just EXACTLY the same thing + 1 new song. at this point I'd just like to say fuck capitalism.

i sooooo agree abt the kpop album releases bc kpop groups releasing multiple versions of the same album makes more sense to me because its usually in diff languages (japanese, chinese) to appeal to a wiser audience (and their new us/uk/etc is probably inspired by taylor’s greedy ass). and sooo true kpop albums come with so much content it (almost) justifies the price (it used to before inflation exploded in USD)

HOWEVER

taylor is fucking crazy. i think its hard for vultures to be ashamed! that woman is the epitome of why girlboss capitalism is never going to free us. where’s the NFT anon because if taylor could sell her albums as NFT’s she WOULD

[tinimmyweek]

@jimmyjrsmusoems ranks Tina/Jimmy Jr. kisses (from worst to best...kinda?)

We are officially two weeks out from Tinimmy Week!!! (can you hear that??? me, screaming in the distance???) @babsvibes actually sent me an ask on my own blog about my favorite Tinimmy kisses, but we thought we might as well put it here instead. Obviously, this ranking is just MY opinion, and I would love to hear yours! (Also, if I forgot any...sue me!) Anyway....

10. "The Gene and Courtney Show" Season 6, Episode 7

Listen....while I love that he brought her a rose, I cannot handle the second-hand embarrassment I feel when I think about how Tina is wearing a diaper in this scene. Like...I know she's dressed as cupid, but it's all I can focus on!!! If she wasn't wearing one, I think I would rank this kiss higher.

9. "The Bob's Burgers Movie"

I feel like some of you might be shocked that I didn't put the movie kiss higher (I shocked myself with it when I was making this list), but there are just other ones that I like more! I do love the "Woah." "Yeah." afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I saw this scene in theaters lollll

8. "Every Which Way but Goose" Season 9, Episode 14

*giggles and kicks feet* <3 <3 <3

bonus :

7. "Pig Trouble in Little Tina" Season 10, Episode 4

I know that the first one is supposed to be part of Tina's dream, but they look so cute that I wanted to include it. The actual kiss in this scene is made for me by Zeke's "Oh hell yeah!" after and Jimmy Jr.'s dazed reaction. Also, these poor kids that aren't apart of the friend group were probably soooo confused

6. "UFO No You Didn't" Season 9, Episode 9

The way that she SPRINTS down the hall in this scene kills me, and I love Jimmy Jr.'s (and Jocelyn's) reactions after. If this wasn't immediately followed by THE Zekina kiss, it would probably be higher up on my list! (That's what I get for being a multi-shipper, oops)

5. "Gene it On" Season 4, Episode 20

THEY WERE ON A DATE!!!!!! HE LOVES IT WHEN SHE'S MEAN!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

4. "Ex Machtina" Season 7, Episode 8

Obviously, I'm biased...but this is arguably the best Tinimmy episode overall, and this kiss is just...magical??? Idk??? The fire in the back??? The vibes??? Also, I considered adding the scene where Jimmy Jr. kisses the robot while the entire family watches, but I can't watch that scene without physically recoiling, sooooo

3. "The Quirkducers" Season 7, Episode 6

THIS HAD NOOOOO RIGHT TO BE AS STEAMY AS IT IS. WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG???? THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INTENSE KISS WE SEE FROM THEM AND THEY'RE DRESSED LIKE THAT!!!! I NEED TO KNOW HOW SHE TALKED HIM INTO THIS!!!!! WAS IT SPONTANEOUS??? HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FROND TO BREAK THEM UP??? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY

bonus angle :

2. "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" Season 1, Episode 6

The first kiss!!! Honestly, this is the one I struggled to rank the most. I think they've had better ones since this, but there's something so special and nostalgic about this one??? I think part of it is that I love the window scene right before this. IDK!!!! <3

"Bob Actually" Season 7, Episode 9

Was there ever any doubt about which one would be #1??? I am never NOT thinking about the sky kiss. He planned this!!! For Valentine's Day!!!! FOR HER!!!! He was so excited about it!!!!! Also, Sky Kiss is my favorite Bob's Burgers song, so it gets extra points for that. The "Jimmy Jr. kisses Tiiiiiiiiiina" part scratches my brain just right. <3

(As a side note, after typing these all out, I realized that they kiss SO many times in season 7???? If you took out the Xmas episode, there would be three episodes in a row where they kiss. They need to bring that momentum back for me personally)

If you read this entire thing, just know that I am giving YOU a (virtual) kiss on the cheek <3 Happy almost Tinimmy week, I am so so excited to see what everyone comes up with!!!!

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[shinnie-kinnie-numbah1]

why.... why are you so handsome and cute yet so evil... GAHHHHEJKDDJ

Idk anymore, he's sooooo pretty to look at to the point I feel embarrassed about liking him alot, it's so weird 😭😭😭 *peels my eyes out*

[rescue-ram]

hawktrap, and if someone got there before me, beejhawk

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) TrapHawk ✨

Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

Waugh, the first MASH episode I remember seeing was Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde, and the funny-turns-touching caretaking instantly set off the little shippy bulb in my brain. I love best friend ships, I love the love and affection between them, I love that they're a paired set and the support they show, and I feel like there's a really special quality to their friendship that makes them feel Very Important to each other. Plus they have great chemistry.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Kfksjsj low key got ahead of myself there. But the thing that keeps me hooked is how flexible they ss characters and their dynamic is. I feel like there's lots of angles you can take and lots of scenarios to explore while still keeping the characters in line with what we see in the show. I love that they're in sync 95% of the time, but those little gaps leave just enough room for drama or angst. I love that they're inveterate kinksters AND softboys who care for each other. They're just great.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I mean there are certain common takes on both characters, especially Trapper, that make me cuckoo bananas rageful. The whole Trapper Abandoned Hawkeye and Broke His Heart thing 🔪🔪🔪 I will also die on the hill that Trapper Is Much Softer Than People Give Him Credit For and Hawkeye Is Much Stronger. Trying to think of how to phrase my gripes and opinions such that I don't come off as unnecessarily bitchy lol. But like, it is SO HARD to find stuff for these two that Works for me. I think they're more interesting and complex than they're given credit for.

Annnnd BeejHawk 🍵

Don't Ship It

1. Why don’t you ship it?

I feel like you articulated this at a deep level beautifully in your meta a few days ago lol. I mean fundamentally I am a Trapper Girl TM and TrapHawk is my One True Pairing, so this was always doomed to at best second tier "I like it fine" ship status tbh. But there's just too much friction in the relationship on screen, there's some genuine meanness and anger, they misunderstand each other at key points, and I don't see the chemistry between them. Being extremely petty and subjective for a second, I just don't like BJ as a character very much, I find him frequently mean and petty and annoying and unfunny. Hawkeye can do better.

2. What would have made you like it?

Augh. Okay, I think in a lot of BJHawk interactions that others read as shippy, I see an edgy clinginess that makes me Uncomfy. So BJ being less "repressed neurotic" and a little more ease in their relationship. Also the fundamental biggest barrier to BJHawk is BJ Loves His Wife and Child, and I don't want to like. Get rid of that aspect of his character because it's vital to him, y'know? But maybe more of Hawkeye corresponding with Peg and building up a friendship with her- it could even be comedic, where he's planning a surprise for BJ who's getting increasingly suspicious then is amused/embarrassed/fond when he figures it out, but just like a sense Hawkeye could be included in the family dynamic without being wildly unfair to Peg, or even just BJ being a little more liberated sexually such that it's easier to imagine them conducting an affair that doesn't IMMEDIATELY implode his marriage. I mean, BJ is the deuteragonist for 2/3 of the show, obviously I have thoughts on their dynamic and how it would change with a romantic or sexual element to it, but I frankly don't see Gay BJ at all, I don't see Bi BJ at all, he's sooooo heterosexual to me, so a more sexually ambiguous or chill BJ is necessary lol. Also more BJ taking care of Hawkeye, more buddy vibes and funny coziness! And like this is probably me ragging too much on BJ... IDK it's hard to say how Hawkeye would need to change, he's already trying to be a good friend given the circumstances... I mean, for my subjective ship tastes 90% of my personal turn offs come from BJ, so Hawkeye is not really the problem in this ship for me. I guess something that really bugs me about the BJHawk fic I've tried that turns me off the ship is Sad Sack Hawkeye, so maybe more content with spunky prankster Hawkeye and co-conspirator BJ, or a proactive seductive Hawkeye pursuing BJ, romancing him, making it more of a "I want this because I want you" than a "I'm clinging to this because I need you" thing, which isn't sexy to me.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Jfkdndkdn. Yeah, I guess. It's not like. A bad ship. I get it. They were The Pair for 8 seasons, they have many many moments to build a ship on, it's not without merit or something. They're friends who've been brought together in horrible circumstances, they go through a lot, they're close, there's some great scenes for them. I think you can get some interesting scenarios out of their dynamic, though my brain runs a little darker and angstier than shippy. But it is just so very much Not My Cup of Tea in either the show or in the fan works I've tried. Even fics that were otherwise interesting and well-written and in character, the BJHawk elements were pure 😬 to me. Truly truly "Your ship is not my ship and that's okay" situation.

[incubum]

okay so hear me out -

one night (post-s1 pre-s2) richie is sitting in a bench down by the pier having a teeny tiny existential crisis reading the book he told carmy about in ep1. a crying or maybe cried-out woman comes to sit next to him and after couple minutes of very awkward silence he asks her if she’s doing okay and regrets it very quickly because she is/was crying for fuck’s sake obviously she’s not okay. fortunately the question doesn’t backfire and she’s actually grateful cause she’s got so much bottled up so everything just sort of spills out. at the end of her rant she’s kind of embarrassed that she’s bothering this complete stranger with her whining but richie, who was also having a night full of self-pity himself, is feeling rather sympathetic and takes a chance on this strange woman and trauma-dumps in return. they spend the night wallowing and eventually end up feeling the tiniest bit better by morning once they get everything out there. surprisingly, a pathetic night turned out pretty good after all. eventually once the morning comes she has to leave to go to work. they exchange “see you later”s but forget that they haven’t exchanged names or numbers but this only hits richie later on when he goes to pick up his phone to talk to her and tell her something funny he’s heard that he thought she’d crack up at. which throws him back to square one, all sad and shit. a few days later they cross paths and richie thinks he has used up all his luck in the world on this moment, finding the one person he wanted to see again despite how fucking huge and crowded chicago is. this time they exchange names and numbers and it eventually turns into something serious. she travels a lot due to work so they’re always either texting or talking (mostly talking because richie doesn’t quite get texting). she texts him a photo of herself in his devry university sweatshirt that he left at her place and he makes it his lockscreen because that’s the sort of thing I KNOW he’d do okay don’t judge me. one day carmy sees his lockscreen and he goes “richie why the fuck is (character’s name — let’s call her roman roy because that’s the sort of thing i had in mind) your lockscreen?” and richie is so confused because although he has talked about her before he never gave them her full name so he says “how the fuck do you know jesse?” and carmy just laughs and goes “cousin that’s roman fucking roy she’s that asshole logan roy’s daughter, she’s a fucking billionaire” and richie is just so fucking shocked but obviously he dismisses carmy saying “why shouldn’t i know roman roy” and trying to act chill but the second he’s gone he’s immediately googling roman roy and his mind gets sooooo fucked and calls her a bajillion times while she’s in a meeting

okay that might be absolute crap but i was thinking abt succession and the bear happening in the same universe and this came out — it’s totally self-indulgent but i kinda wanna write it and see where it goes??? idk you’re my favourite richie writer and i guess i just wanted to tell you about it

never seen succession but i finally sat down and read this ask and i was vibing and jiving with it the whole time. you should DEFINITELY write it my dude

[seospicybin]

OKAY I just finished it and I have ALOT on my mind.

1ST I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVVVVVEEEEEEEEEDDDDD IT!

The family dynamics were soooo cute and I think you made me like children just a little bit more! You have such a satisfying writing style and you're really really really good at describing styles I don't know if I'm tripping but every scene made me feel some sort of color. Like- hear me out. The beginning was like lemonade, skz concept, yellow and his birthday was like coquette, bubble gum, pink and every scene with Jeongin was spotify, quillbot, forbidden, love green and the spice scene was Microsoft spelling error, Netflix on a dark night, taste red. AND I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY!! I've always been able to see colors in a story based on description but some aren't clear because of bad description so basically I'm saying you're really good!!

OKAY 2ND OF ALL THE THOUGHTS I HAD READING THESE ARE CRAZYYY

First, and this is rlly rlly random but you know the child's doll Its name is like poppipo or smth but I read it like poopy-- yk like Ice spice poopy like poop-- then I realized and I read it as pop-po and then I just completely gave up.

Second, lets talk about how BOLD Y/N is esp during the end like bro love you taking the initativeee!!!!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME Idk but personally I think I got an ick(?) when Hyunjin was like 'you're perfect but Felix is the most perfect' LIKE BRO I WOULD'VE SNAPPED OUT OF MY DELUSION REAL QUICK. Idk why like it wasn't a bad scene but the second hand embarrassment was thereee like -------

Lastly, JEONGIN WAS SOOOO CUTEEE like honestly I would like it of they ended up together instead cause like Jeongin was the cutesttt and I think they have a chance!

ANYWAYS THATS ITTT I ABSOLUTLEY LOVED IT!! KEEP IT UP BUT STAY HEALTHY AND HAPPY!! 🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿

-🥂

Okay but this is so interesting 🤔

I believe the term is synthesia? Where people can sense colors or tastes when they listen to music. I heard Felix has it, he sees colors when he listens to music, I think I do too cause I can sense textures when I listen to music.

But I think it's the first time I ever heard someone experience the same things but on writings and that's just so fascinating like wow.

From now on, I demand you to write your feedbacks on every fics I wrote with those kind of descriptions. It's mandatory. I won't take any excuses. 😂😂😂

Anyway, thank you, bb. You're always sooooo sweet to me. Do I even deserve you? I don't think so 🥺

Ily, stay safe, take care and mwah mwah mwah 🥰❤️

[sabworks]

Ok…ok I have this idea at the back of my head for some time now and it’s sooooo embarrassing but imma relay it to you anyway

Id like to think some pharmaceutical company copies dna for cloning out soldiers/doctors/engineers/etc and mix and max out dna as well in order to make a “perfect” clone better for people to either adopt or use for personal use so in this scenario the assassin android that tried to kill the carte Blanche that one time (I think it was shadows of the ship back in season 3 idk tho might be wrong) actually sent in copies of the crew dna and now have probably made clones of the crew. And so Jupeter love child is born along side his sisters who are twins and they were all made in various ages the oldest being 15 and the youngest being 9 as the kids are being trained off camera during true out the rest of the season they finally get hired and meet Peter Nureyev first and then meet Juno steel both Peter and Juno feel a sense of paternal love towards said kids and don’t know why but Juno eventually realized that the kids look vaguely like him and Peter so Juno ask them this and the eldest would confess that their clones and share the same dna as him and Peter so Juno uses this as a excuse of some sort and is like “Peter! Get your ass here you are papi now” and Peter was like”hold-up I don’t remember you having a pussy-“ and eventually the eldest like falls in to debt like Peter and peters like “you can’t do that alone” and the kids probably gonna go “but your doing it already” then peter promptly realizes what Juno has been doing this whole time to him and relents and ask Juno’s help with his debt

Look I know I sound like Rita trying to explain the plot of some stream she’s currently watching but I just got to tell some one about this ehshdhjwjwjdb I might actually start writing a fic about this too….

Where’s the fic anon??

I’ve often thought back to the clone drone and how weird it was and how they even got Nureyev’s DNA or likeness in the first place. Love the idea that it could be a way of creating new life! It would bring up very interesting questions of these kids’ sentience and free will. Would they truly have free will? Would they choose to use it and join forces with Juno? Would they feel similarly attached to their parents? Is the tendency to gather crippling debt genetic? Is Juno a milf?? That’s for you to decide.

Very cool idea and a completely unexpected way for Jupeter to have offspring. Always send me your Rita Rambles guys! <3

[domorebemore]

literally like that's why i kind of try to be a little off-putting when i date people and say weird shit right off the bat because i want to see how much they're willing to put up with at first. but then that backfires because then they get to project a manic pixie dreamgirl thing onto me like wow this girl is sooooo weird that's so funny and epic. and then they get to talk to me and it's just like. wow this bitch is annoyingly obsessed with a lot of weird shit isn't she.........................

also a lot of it is because until recently, even though i've always been very in-tune with my emotions (i'm extremely emotional always have been i'm a triple water sign babey), i felt like it was cringe and embarrassing to show it to others. so like i always had to do some sort of Bit around it. which is why i've fully embraced my dps love now because i used to be like wow it's embarrassing how much i love this movie. because it's so earnest and unironic and i usually would call that corny. so i have to do a bit about liking it instead. and pretend it's just because i was horny or whatever.

idk none of this makes any fucking sense i'm literally just like trauma dumping on my own blog (i'm jk this isn't trauma lmao) but anyway ............ i just always had to turn all of my emotions into a Bit because i've turned my entire life into a performance art piece essentially by putting myself out there online for my whole life. like everything i do is so performative bc i feel like i have to put on a show for others. and if i feel a genuine earnest emotion i have to immediately turn it into a joke and put it online for others to see bc i can't stand to be alone with it for a single second LOL......... BUT NOW I'M TRYING TO NOT DO THAT!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THAT'S PART OF THIS ENTIRE NUMANDA MOMENT IS I'M LIKE TRYING TO BE A GENUINE EARNEST HUMAN BEING BUT IT'S HARD BC IT IS EMBARRASSING TO BE A HUMAN