#IM SO STUPID FUXK

[tiredinwinter]

I am so upset that all my friends have started vaping

[insanecreetur]

Life is seriously testing the fuck out of me today. I'm quite ready to fucking end it all.

People are fucking monsters. I don't want to exist in this society. Just let me fade away..

[lowcallyfruity]

IM GONNA CRY I HATE HIM I NEED HIM TO BLOW UP IM GONNA cry

[effervescentdragon]

OH. OH VODON IS ODIN OH I DIDNT GET IT OH MY GOD!?!?!

[napsaps-archive]

.

[bpdummy]

hi

[mejomonster]

Being on dating apps makes me wanna tear off my skin

[boartits]

men will always be inherently less attractive than women simply because they are incapable of yuri and therefore incapable of true love

[peapod20001]

Ouuu why do I gotta be blind and need glasses that are fucked up and won’t fix no matter how much you adjust them

[sensitivegoblin]

Really need to sext to cope rn✨️💕✌️🥹 help please

Tw for venting tags

[hyperexplosion]

I need to just shut up forever

Idk if Dad has good news at the doctor I'll try talking to mom

[cloudedcari]

why does every music streaming platform hate you

[halfdeadwallfly]

why am i so afraid of polo+khakis men

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[philosophicallie]

all of the weather has lost its charm and whimsy it is simply now the land's purposeful torture for me

[sick-as-a-dog]

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