#IM SORRY IM VERY DUMB AND MY MEMORY IS GARBAGE !!!!!!!!

[martyrbat]

I NEVER ANSWERED THAT ANON....

[destinymoon33]

The Ups and Downs of being a DBH fangirl :D

Ups:

First Detroit Become Human OC

An AX400 bought to clean and take care of the home of Arman Court. As a normal android she cooks and cleans around the house. Arman is part of a drug gang dealing with red ice pockets and trading it for cash. One day Arman got so upset that he wanted everyone to die and get away from him. Since The AX400 was the only humanoid thing in the house, besides form himself, he told her to kill herself. As a gang member of course he has a gun near by and she had taken the gun. As an obsidiant machine she took the shot to the side of her head. Her lifeless plastics body was taken the to Veta garbage dumb and destroyed with the other broken android pieces.

(These were only sketches a long while ago. The time when I barely even got into the DBH fandom)

Downs

(It’s not really a down it’s more of a I made a stupid thing and I wanted to share it type situation. Also I’m a self shipper. Soooo-)

Self shipping OC (kind of) of DBH

On a nightly investigation, Gavin Reed and his partner RK900 were trying to solve the murder of an old lady in a lone hotel building. The perpetrator was still on sight and Nines caught the eye of the investigation. He had found the perp and chased them onto the very top of the hotel building. On the rush to catching the murderer, Nines had fallen off of the building and the pieces of plastic and connectors for his limbs broke off completely. Reed was devastated finding out that his “partner” had fallen off of the hight and “died”. Since it was the end of the piecefull revolution for all androids, Nines was sent to Kamski to be repaired and put back together and stronger than before. He had warned Gavin that it would take a long while for fixing a prototype android. Gavin just scoffed off his warning and grows distant form his co-workers in the police station. Kamski saw how sad his half brother was so he sent an older moddle of a DM600 that was never used in production to replace for Nines for he time being. He had put all of Nines’ memories and programs onto the old moddled android and sent her off wearing the RK900 uniform.

(​I hate myself for doing this because i also ship Reed900 so bad and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE AMAZING but i also like Gavin too sooooo- I had to make a solution and making a story and a design was he only thing I could think of ;-; trust me I still ship Reed900 SO BAD!! LIKE ITS SOOOO GOOD!! I LOVE THEM but my fangirl decided to like Gavin of all people soooo YEAH IM SORRY I DID THIS ITS STIPUD LOL)

(Lol I hope you guys enjoy my cringe. I have my own opinions for my own head-canons of the DBH universe so yeah this isn’t one of them unless I draw more XD)

Forgive me Reed900 fans ;-; I am one too. Would you hurt your own kind?

[newyorkcittysworld]

Part 2 of uhh I'm gunna call it: Sugarbaby!peter (bc I'm basic)

Peter ran into his dorm room,threw all his belongings on his bed and swiveled in his chair to his laptop. He opened it and began transferring all the notes he took. After a while of doing work and analyzing tony's, he couldn't help but notice the folded up piece of paper with tonys number on it he kept trying to distract himself, tony did say not too blow up his phone he decided he at least needed a reason to text him. Peter was looking back at tonys work when his phone caught him off guard. His heart was beating as he prayed it was tony but sadly no,

*new message from aunt may: hey petey pie! Please take the chicken out the freezer. How'd the stark interview go today*

He unlocked his phone and replied  *no problem, it went great! So dreamy up close*

His aunt knew about his bisexuality and encouraged it so this lighthearted joking was not only normal but expected. May was young and progressive and didn't mind at all. *haha I better not catch you in his suit pete!* peter sent back hurts and got back too tony's work, he can't lie it would be pretty cool to ride in tony's car, wearing high end clothes and tony having peter living the lavish lifestyle, completely opposite from his own. He didn't care for material things but like any normal person he dreamed of doing it big. Hours passed as peter looked at tony’s work . ugh it was flawless no questions needed. He considered playing dumb but he didn't want the possibility of tony mocking him. He figured he could try to add comments or upgrades and could ask for tonys help on that, he smiled and started getting too work when a facetime ring interrupted his train of thought. Eh it's probably ned he said picking up without looking.his face went red when he saw tony on his screen looking back at him from a bad angle. (well let's be honest there i no bad angle but imagine looking down at your phone and facetiming someone). “H-hello Mr.Stark!! Wh- what's going on” peter choked out in a squeaky voice. He tried to sound as chill as possible. “Hey kid i need you for something but i can't tell you what, you'd say no, you down?” peters swore he was gonna pass out but held it together “where are we going is i-” he was cut off by tony “ ahh no questions im afraid it would give hints just let me know can you meet me on 45th and lex? In about an hour?” tony smirked, he saw how red the kids face was and he knows damn well that twink doesnt do exercise. Peter hesitated for a moment but figured even if tony straight up killed him, he'd say thank you in the afterlife “sure thing, do i need to change?” he panned the camera down at what he was wearing being very stealthy about moving around his crotch area which would give away his current state.”there goes the questions again but i'll see you there kid” the phone hung up before he could even ask his question again. Oh well as far as he knows he gets too see stark again and that's the only thing he's focused on

Peter arrived slightly early at the exact location tony told him too in order to insure the older man wouldn't leave him there. He was standing there in the nicest clothes he had (to be fair it was from old navy it looked pretty clean) he heard a car blasting ac/dc through his ear buds but thought nothing of it ‘just regular nyc’ he thought to himself. That was until the bright yellow car pulled up next to him honking, it was tony in a nice lo rider. Peter nearly nutted on the spot. Tony looked amazing, his hair was slicked back clean, his expensive color tinted glasses matching with his three piece suit that was probably worth more than his apartment, his legs froze as he waved nervously, tony lowered the music to talk too him. “Hey!! Hop in i got a suit for you in the back” peter could feel himself swooning so he quickly walked too the car and reached for the handle to open it. Tony shot out of the car and ran around the other side and opened the door for him. Peter wasn't quite sure how much of this he could take. He sat down on the expensive leather and saw a long black coat bag and stood as still as possible as tony closed the door for him, anxiety making it difficult to be comfortable. “Am i allowed to ask where we are going Mr.Stark?” peter said trying to take his eyes off of the other man and just trying to sneak quick looks.his heart was beating he really didn't know what to expect “Fine fine turns out i need a date too this really boring and expensive event” the older man leaned back in his chair taking long looks at peter at stop lights. “And you chose me because???”  peter said generally shocked and lowkey fiddling with all the expensive material, everything just felt lavish. “Well you like boring stuff and your cute,and you where fresh in my memory your smart.i need someone like that next to me so i look good” tony smirked knowing damn well peter is melting right now. “Sooo im your arm candy?” he choked out smiling widely not even trying to hide it “essentially, that's why i brought the suit. No offense that uhh no brand cardigan is,nice but unfortunately it's not in the dress code” peter was so over the moon , he drew his attention too the coat bag with a big tom ford logo on it. Peter was living out his teenage fantasy, the only difference was he wasn't wrapped around tony's arm holding one hand that slumped over him while the other drove.

He quickly snapped his head up when the car stopped moving after a while. “Ok we're here you can change before we go into the main hall there's a bathroom right on your left” peter nodded and got out of the car walking next to his date trying his best to contain his excitement and not geek out in front of stark, pete did as the man said and changed into a nice burgundy suit, the material was orgasmic and he had too admit he looked sharp, and tony thought so too, he was smiling watching the (somehow)smaller man come out holding his arm out, peter walked up to him handing his clothes too another one (of what seemed like endless) assistants. “Ok so here's the catch” tony whispered faking smiles and waves too look natural as he spoke.”your gonna actually pretend to be my boyfriend and i'll give you $7,000 for compensation” he gave peter a smile as he turned around to greet some mit students. Tonys words had peter nearly spinning, "relax i'm not gonna make you sleep with me” tony whispered seeing how red peter was, his heart was racing so fast he couldn't bring himself to say any words but tried to signal tony he was completely okay with this idea and has been fantasizing about it for what seemed decades, he stood next to tony while he spoke giving off small waves at the people staring at him. He wrapped his arm around stark and stood up tall.

The kids dispersed which left the two of them walking around in silence.”bold of you to assume i don't WANT to sleep with you” the doe eyed boy whispered under his breath with a smirk.stark looked at him with a puzzled look on his face “what kid?” he said acting clueless knowing damn well what he said (which is all the proof he needed to know peter was into him as if it wasn't obvious enough) the ‘kid’ (who is 23) shot up as his cheeks went red “n nothing Mr.Stark!! J-just a uh self reminder” *wow peter really good excuse* he thought to himself smiling nervously. Tony smiled and pulled peter in for a half hug as he saw a photographer approaching. “the talking of boring science*ahem* future technology should start soon,you need anything kid?” he looked down at the man on his arm “n-not to take advantage, but you think we could grab like fries? Maybe just a quick burger” he looked up at stark with puppy eyes. Tony scoffed sarcastically  “i won't let you spoil your stomach with that garbage “ and in the snap of his fingers three different waiters with trays approached him. “Go ahead kid don't be shy” peter was most definitely shy but starks words encouraged him,this was very different for parker, usually he's the one giving out the fancy trays but now he's on the flip side. He plucked out some fancy meats moaning at the flavor..this was all very new for him but he'd be lying if he said he couldn't get used too this./ the meeting began and the two took their seats peter being daring and resting his head on tonys shoulder, the lecture was actually pretty interesting he found himself taking notes on his phone and sneaking in pictures of him laying against tony, which was easy since tony knocked out after the first ten minutes.

After what seemed like years,Tony startled awake eyes opening wide only too see that they were still at the conference he let out a groan as he saw peter standing above him.”hey uh mr stark, everyone's leaving im sorry! Should i carry you out or” he was so cute when he gets all pent up like this “you couldn't lift me if you tried but come on let's get out of here” tony chuckled. Standing up and exiting with peter “Mr.Stark i saw some ladys taking pictures so i put your glasses on, ya know so you don't look bad?” tony touched his face and realized there was indeed glasses on his face”huh that would explain why everything is a light brown color, thought i was just hungover” peter giggled at the taller man's response. They walked to the car arm in arm as reporters were standing around his car.”no time for questions i'm tired” tony said, once again opening the door for peter who couldn't help but nervously laugh through the second hand anxiety. They drove off it was getting kind of late,

            But peter didn't want this too end.

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[roboticspacecase]

Tagged by @everyday-im-preaching like, DAYS ago and I’m just now remembering to do this lmao

Ten random facts about me. AKA Way too Much Info About my Life

One time I ended up dating a friend because I was on the bus to a cross-country running thing back when I did sports, and a creeper dude on our team was trying to ask me out. I panicked and turned to my guy friend and was like, “Sorry, he’s actually my boyfriend. Started dating last week.” And turned out he actually had been wanting to ask me out so he went along with it and we dated for like two months before he moved.

This is gonna sound fake but I ain’t bullshitting y’all when I say I had MOST of the school giving me some sort of death threat or just general “I’m going to beat you up” threats in Jr High because I started a food fight once and the principal was NOT afraid to tell everyone who it was. She punished the entire school for it. Everyone had to walk in-line to the cafeteria for a month and my two friends and I were banned from it for an entire year. Had to eat lunch in a classroom in complete silence. She even tried to have me arrested and charged with “inciting a riot”, but my parents were like “it was just a food fight, calm tf down you old hag” so she got mad and just sent me to court instead. I went to a charter film school because I didn’t wanna be in the same high school as the other kids again lmao

I started writing when I was 11 and had written an entire book ((it was fucking garbage lol)) before I gave it up for a while because my dad read part of it and I was so mad and embarrassed. I started again a year after when I got a laptop and could put passwords on everything and wrote several more shitty books before stopping again in high school because the laptop broke. After I moved out for a while and was able to get another laptop I started again and haven’t stopped since, and I hope I never will again.

I have exactly NO fuse when it comes to getting angry. Like the Hulk, I am pretty much always angry but I manage to find chill because being mad all the time isn’t fun and if I let myself get too angry I get physical, which is never good.

More often than not I’m a pretty mature person who sits at home and takes care of my daughter, but on the weekends when I have a sitter I’m a fucking party animal that’s often been told I’m the life of the party because I make sure everyone is turning the fuck up. Any stupid party drama dies when I get there because everyone knows I’ll put an end to it anyway.

My second/third career choices are being a psychologist or a baker of some sort.

I forget things very easily and have memory problems that only seem to go away when it comes to remembering plots/ideas for stories.

I’m hella dyslexic AND I need glasses, so reading is actually very difficult for me unless I’m reading on Chrome with certain extensions for text.

I’m allergic to most perfumes, lotions, detergents, and shampoos and conditioners. I have to be hella careful with what I use because some stuff eats at my skin like some sort of slow-acting acid and it itches like a bitch.

Thinking of these is harder than I thought so this last one is gonna be something dumb lmao hhmmmm how about my fave video game? It’s Super Mario Sunshine :p

Now I’m supposed to tag ten people but I doubt I’ll get ten :p

@ciphertext-x , @smilecentaur , @spiritedopal , @featheredkit , and anyone else that wants to can say I tagged them.

[burnafterreadingx]

I finally closed the door.

Dear you know who, 

“Im never good enough.”

“I feel like I lost control. Im shaking my body is actually shaking. My insides. My heart.” “I’m so weak and I fucking hate myself for it. “ “All I ever want is someone to fight for me. All I want is for someone to be afraid to lose me.. no one ever is.” “He got up and called me a stupid dumb bitch…. I just put my clothes on and got back into bed.” "He texts me he wants to break up. He doesn’t love me. I’m miserable to be around.” “He snap chatting multiple girls…slid in multiple girls dms. & I cried. The next day he apologized… he was off his meds. I FORGAVE HIM. “i just wanted to do or say anything to hurt you. I didn’t mean it thou” ….. I accepted that because maybe i’m not enough for him.” “I saw a DM “yeah you keep hitting me up while you have a full gf” …… I sat in the car and cried as he stood there and said to me.. word for word “i had more fun being single” “you are a nuisance to my life” “i hate paying double everywhere we go” and told me it was nothing and he had no idea what the girl was talking about. (Later I found out he was snap chatting her all summer) (not the only girl either) …. I didn’t even bring it up again. I didn’t want to lose him.” “He’s texting me about how much he’s depressed and stressed and really just making me nervous. Despite everything I’m still in love with him and I still care for him. So I ask him if he wants to come here and talk. He does… he gets into bed he’s cuddling me loving on me, talking to me. He was my old Matt..so I thought.” "He doesn’t need me anymore… so why reach out.. why call me.. why come over. I made him feel better and now I’m…trashed.” - “I lost all my strength. I broke down. Completely broke down. Bathroom floor unable to be consoled and unable to function. I called him… I called him crying. He was already supposed to be here hours ago. He picked up he said okay I’m gonna come over soon…. He never showed up. He never called. He went to sleep.”

How does any of that make you feel? Does that make you feel anything at all? Does it sadden you? Is it funny? Do you think it's nothing?

I made excuses for you, and gave you one too many chances, even though you didn’t deserve them. I put your needs before my own but enough is enough.

You have no idea how my fucking January was. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I was sick everyday. I was unstable and completely gave up on anything and everything in my life. I called out of work. I stopped watching tv. I kept my phone off. I didn’t leave my room.

Who called to check on me? Who was there for me? Who reached out?  No one cared when I lost 15 pounds and couldn’t stop shaking. No one cared when I couldn’t breathe in jrs cause I was having a panic attack. Did it not phase you that I was holding on by a piece of thread. Did you not realize? Or did you.. and you just didn’t care? Was it funny to you and all your friends that I was breaking down not only mentally but physically???

You’ve called me in need twice. Without question I was at your side picking you up and giving you anything and everything from my heart to make you better.  I took care of you for days…. My ex boyfriend.  You have treated me like a piece of garbage but I fucking chased after you and brought you back here you know why? Because I know what it’s like to be alone and drained and fucked up and sad and lost and fucking broken. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Especially someone I love.

I fucking have been there for you like no one ever has in ur fucking life even AFTER you making me look like a god damn fool to everyone. To fucking everyone. & you had the nerve to text me that now you’re getting shit that I found out you’re all a bunch of immature  phony friends who rather see people down because you’ll do anything for some entertainment? I WAS STILL THERE FOR YOU.

After we broke up I had to beg to come by for one single conversation. I just wanted a hug and comfort to know I still had you as a friend. You wouldn’t touch me , all I wanted was a hug. I gave you your Christmas presents….You kicked me out.

I hope one day you will realize I did truly care for you. I promise you, you will miss me being there, putting up with you, and refusing to give up on you. You’re going to regret everything you’ve done to me, including all the damage you caused. Someday, you’ll look back and wish things could be different I’m sure of it.  I might have been worthless to you, but I know I will already be valued by someone else.

I hope people ask you about me. And you look back and think of our memories. I hope you fill with regret and hits you in the gut that I in fact loved you more than anyone else ever has and all you did was try and destroy me.

I hate how you made me question myself when the problem was you all along. I hate that I looked in the mirror and I didn’t  see the worth in myself because of you.

But you didn’t break me **** I broke myself because I believed in something so much that wasn’t real.

Throughout our whole relationship I only have one apology to give you. I stayed through all of the bullshit, the disrespect, the hurt, the pain… and called it love. I am sorry for teaching you how to “love” me wrong and blaming you for following through.

I lost someone who didn’t love me. But you.. you lost someone who truly did love you.

I am done with it. With us. With this one way fucked up cycle. With words that mean one thing and actions that say another. Every part of the dishonesty and indecisions. I very much see clearly that if you genuinely cared about me, you would be there for me selflessly as I am for you. But you’re not that person and I’m not sure you ever will be. That makes me sad for you.

I told you. I’ve grown so much in only a month. I’m at a place in my life where I’m standing on my own and I am confidently fine alone. I warned you….you didn’t listen. I couldn’t try and turn you into a man because you’re still a child. I cant raise a child. I was fighting so hard for you but I was fighting to be lied to, fighting to be taken advantage of, to be disappointed, to be hurt again. Once I realized that the fight was over. theres a big difference between the me you dated and the me now. I dont put up with the same bullshit. At this point you’ve only played yourself.

I have one more thing to say to you. After everything I’ve learned and read the past couple of days… you fucked up. You’re sorry I get it. But being sorry wont change anything you said or did. Being sorry doesn’t change the way I look at you now. It wont change how I feel about you now. Everyone has limits ****… there are lines that people cross & they no longer can cross back over. I had a line & you crossed it.  Now *** you have to stay on the other side.

I hope you grow and learn from this and end up being the man you can be. The man I have mistaken you for in the past. Because you deserve to be happy and loved and comforted and safe. Because I have grown and learned and I’m so proud of who I am now because of what you put me through. I know i'll find happiness with someone because I found happiness with myself. But fuck I wanted it to be you. I really fucking wanted it to be you.

[prompt-master]

Dear Evan Hansen Headcanons

- Jared once bought heelies because as the school funnyman it’s practically his job- but then he rolled down a ramp and crashed into a fountain

- when Connor was alive he punched a kid who made fun of his black nail polish

-Evan has both a fidget cube and spinner, but uses the cube more often. Jared used to tease him for it but then he saw how much it helped Evan and let the boy be free

-Evan has actually been handling his anxiety a lot better since the whole Connor project incident, and it makes Heidi and Jared so happy because: you’re doing great sweetie look at you go

-it took Evan a really long time to tell Jared how he actually broke his arm and when he did it was very a random very fast word vomit while they were hiking.

-Evan falling out of the tree is now the one thing Jared will not make fun of

-Jared once tried to ask Evan out and ended up screaming “YOU WANNA GO” at him and Evan instantly thought Jared wanted to fight and was Afraid

-things were incredibly awkward with Zoe for a long time. Most of the time they accidentally met in the orchard and Evan would always, without fail, start apologizing. Zoe is so used to it that whenever she sees Evan she instantly says “it’s ok.”

-Heidi takes as many days off as she can but she’s still really busy, whenever she’s home she’s making all of Evan’s favorite foods and they chill out and watch cop shows

-Heidi usually asks how Evans day went and if he’s doing ok, and Evan makes sure she’s not over exhausting herself

-One time in the middle of Evan’s routinely “I’m sorry I fucked up so bad” speeches Zoe suddenly asked “so you wrote that letter?”

-Evan didn’t go to the orchard for a week after that he was so shook

-whenever someone accidentally steps on the back of Evan’s shoes he loses his shoe, everything in his pockets, and face plants

-Jared is gonna make fun of Evan until he dies but if anyone else does Jared will personally show up to your room that night and end you

-Zoe actually helped to mend their very awkward relationship by making stupid jokes before Evan could open his mouth and after that they were able to just have a comfortable silence

-Jared is the living embodiment of “I made you a friendship bracelet” “lol that’s so stupid” “you don’t have to we-” “NO IM NEVER TAKING IT OFF”

-he may or may not have a few of Evans friendship bracelets around his ankle

-after middle school Jared actually got really afraid of being bullied, so when high school started he upped his teasing to the next tier

-Evan tries really hard to comfort Jared when he feels like shit- which is more often than you’d think- but it’s just so hard to tell when he is and he always throws it off with a dumb joke

-one time Jared teased Evan about the Connor project, and went too far, Evan didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day, Jared almost cried

- sometimes when he can tell Evan is having a rough day he invites him to places randomly- “hey so all my totally awesome friends bailed on me for the mall, and I figured you’d wanna go since you have no life or whatever”

- alternatively Evan sits by Jared and makes awkward small talk, and just gives the boy a chance to tell him what’s wrong. He’ll give him his cube if Jared seems especially anxious

-Zoe once asked Evan if anything he told her was true, and he told her about the printer story. She seemed somewhat happy that Connor cared she was in the letter.

-Zoe once stabbed Connor in the eye with mascara and still finds it one of the funniest memories of him

-Zoe is a music depression person, she sits in her room with music full blast a lot

-“wait Zoe you know that you don’t have to like forgive me and be friends with me right like that’s totally ok i know I screwed up so-” “I know, I also don’t have mourn Connor” “…so why are you at the orchard so much”

-she never explains this

-one time Jared jumped on Evans back and they both ended up in a river

-he knows Evan has the strength to hold him up and dammit he’s gonna prove it

-one of the things Evan doesn’t regret about the Connor project is his speech because he still gets messages of the video thanking him and telling him how helpful it was

-Evan really wants a hamster, like really fucking badly

-Jared constantly greets people with “sup I’m gay” or “sup Hereros”

-Jared also constantly points out hot guys in hopes that Evan will agree because he can’t tell if Evan really is bi or not he just gets bi vibes from him

-“hey can you help me find updog” “what is..updog…?”

- this happens with Bofa too

- Connor used to be the master of avoiding situations. If you tried to have a serious conversation with him he’d either distract you or you’d turn around and he’d just be gone.

- he also does this thing where he pulls his hoodie up and pulls the strings whenever he just can’t deal with how stupid this is

-Jared was the first to drive and oh god what a mistake that was, he’s terrible

-Zoe once laughed really hard and spat gum at a teacher by accident

-one time while hiking with Evan he reached over and ate a leaf and Evan can’t even look at him the same way- what is wrong with you, Jared

- operation ask Evan out part 2- Jared tried to let Evan come to him because who wouldn’t you know? Then Zoe explained that she solidified the relationship- so he took Evan to the park but ended up eating too many chili dogs and throwing up on the curve when he got nervous. He was still trying to ask him out while hurling

-Alana becomes Number One Leader, she’s great at it, she’s learned to listen to other people more often.

-she hangs out with Jared and Evan a lot, she usually organizes the hangouts

-was voted most likely to succeed in life and honestly? It was probably unanimous

- Jared and her are in the “Evan was a dick to me” club and have tshirts

- eventually they let Zoe into their club

-one time they were hanging out and invited Zoe without Evan knowing and Evan nearly jumped out a window he ran away so fast

- Alana saw Zoe’s stars on her jean cuffs and got so happy “oh my god that’s such a great idea it looks so cute!” “Oh thank you it’s just-” “do you mind if I do it too?” “Not at all but why-” “do you have a marker?”

- Evan can’t tie his shoes

- Alana ends up uploading a bunch of videos of Zoe playing songs, and they get some good attention. Zoe was shocked but Alana just explained that it was inevitable

-Jared goes through everyone’s phones and changes people’s contact names to memes

- “Evan stop apologizing so much” “I’m sorry-” “Evan no. None of that. Please” “ok ok I’m sorr-” “EVAN”

- Evan and Alana hate litter. Like a lot. Jared will never understand it but whenever the two are out they’re just picking up all the litter they find and throw it out.

-Jared once made a joke “maybe you guys should just carry around bags to carry garbage in”

-After they started doing this Jared made another joke: “why don’t you two make a recycling project”

-after Alana and Evan become save the world co-presidents Jared learned he really needs to stop joking.

-Jared cried when he graduated

[divorcedfiddleford]

i know this is random, but do you have any tips on writing ford and fiddleford? you do a really good job on their characterizations and even though i'm very familiar with their characters i always write people out of character when i'm writing, lol! thanks !!!!

ghhhgg i Kid but anyway im like super distracted so i just made a list of a bunch of common mistakes i see when people r writing themedit: i was so wrong i made such a long fucking post im sorry this was a Mistake (rip mobile users)

first things first everything in the journal was Fake

fiddleford:

“fiddleford is a poor precious cinnamon roll who is helpless and did nothing wrong uwu” fuck off he built all those robots and probably killed a bunch of people in the process he isnt some innocent sunflower he’s more like a rowdy dandelion

yes this applies even if you’re writing young fiddleford he was just more patient and less open with his life of crime because he didnt want to go to jail

his eyes are blue. theyre fucking blue. theyre fucking b

“he doesnt like swears/he’s soft-spoken” wrong he’s literally the only character to have sworn on-screen

“he started the society because he was traumatized by what he’d seen” no, where did you get that idea. he literally says he invented the gun because he was “haunted by the thoughts of what I’d done” >literally stating that it was guilt not fear that was bothering him. eventually yes he used it for erasing scary memories but that was not his initial intent

he’s not bald anymore

really any idea that fiddleford is pathetic is grossly ooc i can think of one situation in the show that he wasn’t able to get himself out of and thats because he was turned into a fucking arras

what is this southern belle bullshit… he chews tobacco and wrestles pigs please stop woobifying this force of nature

a banjo is not the same as a guitar. a banjo is not the same as a guitar. a banjo is not the same as a guitar.

if youre going to write accents don’t be obnoxious about it

EX: “How are y’all doin’ this fine evening?”NOT: “Hower y’all doien’ this fain evenin’?”you don’t have to use the mannerisms in every sentence and you don’t have to drop the g in every -ingphonetic spelling is a pain to read like at the most you should be using apostrophes not respelling words (“Stanferd” more like kill me now)

also make sure your mannerisms are geographically accurate he’s not from texas i never want to see him say “sugah” again

his accent isnt even that strong in the show …what……….

tip: fiddleford is salty as FUCK he has NO MERCY and holds onto grudges like a lifesaver in a storm

tip: he loves being around people and will talk to them about fucking anything such as his multiple cases of manslaughter but doesn’t usually open up about his insecurities unless prompted

further reading: 1 2 3 4

stanford:

“everything that happened to fiddleford is ford’s fault” did ?? you even watch the show??? fiddleford did all that shit himself ford had nothing to do with it

“ford was manipulating dipper and con-” im gonna stop you right there. ford loves his niece and nephew. he agreed to leave the kids alone because stan thought he was too dangerous to be around them. stan only let dipper hang out with ford after dd&md. ford loves dipper and mabel equally and never wanted them to split up or anything. bill fucking knew this hence why he threatened ford with killing them. he made the proposal to dipper about the apprenticeship because he genuinely thought that was the best thing for dipper. he was wrong but he didnt know that

in fact while we’re at it - ford literally always does stuff with the best of intentions he’s just dumb and unlucky as shit

deal with the devil? he thought the devil was his nerdy buddy not the devil. he just was so happy to have a friend who appreciated him he didnt realize he was the fucking devil

abandon your brother? he thought his brother had sabotaged his dreams and that the only person he’d ever trusted had betrayed him. he was wrong but it’s not like stan apologized or denied it. also what was he supposed to do? challenge his dad? in case you didn’t notice filbrick was a fucking terrible dad

building a doomsday device? too bad you’re literally being manipulated and abused by Lucifer The Triangle

“ford didn’t want to make amends with stan” um, no, like obviously he’s still mad and stuff but in dd&md he stops himself from getting super mad and asks stan if he wants to play with him and dipper

“ford wanted to kick stan out” ?? when did he say that??? the closest thing he said to that was that he wanted his house back and while i GUESS you could interpret that as he wanted it back to himself he follows it up directly with “this mystery shack junk is over forever” so its pretty obvious he means he wants the tourist trap that makes a mockery of his entire life’s purpose out of his house

“fords a grumpy guy” he is the opposite . he is overflowing with love and pride for those he holds dear. he might be a little gruff but who wouldnt be after living in hell for 30 years

remember that one asshole whose kink is “ciphord abuse”. dont be that guy. dont write kink shit

just. don’t make ford the villain. dont do it.

this may come as a surprise to you..but….he DOESNT have to bring up his intellect all the time! a shock i know

tip: ford is very excitable he loves getting up and doing things and going on adventures!! he loves interacting with the creatures around gravity falls like the gnomes and steve (see: every gotdamn episode)

he’s also very sympathetic; if someone he knows/cares about is struggling he does whatever he can to help them and comfort them (see: the last mabelcorn, damvtf)

he tends to think more big picture as opposed to worrying about individual details. the priority is always solving the larger problem unless a loved one’s life is ostensibly in danger in which case that takes priority (see: damvtf, wmg1, wmg3)

tip: ford is gay

tip: he’s also anti-social and wouldn’t be very forward with romantic notions like it would take him months before he even THINKS about kissing someone and even then its like a 10 hour loop of beach boys’ wouldn’t it be nice

tip: he is the king of infodumping and explains everything in excruciating detail

tip: he likes to have a good time! don’t be afraid to let him have fun!!

further reading: 1 2 3

for both:

enough of the angst. enough. enough

if you’re going to make them trans don’t milk the dysphoria

tip from my pal rudy @blue-dipper​ (im not trans)

same kinda goes for if youre doing romance dont overplay the internal/external homophobia i made that mistake so many times its just clunky and gets in the way of the characters

the whole idea of “the innocent one” vs “the sinful one” is garbage. abandon it. you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders

realistically if it’s a reunion thing don’t make them hook up automatically this shit takes time

in general avoid stereotypes. some examples being “the hippie” or “the nerd” just write them like they act on the show its easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved

ALEX HIRSCH ≠ WORD OF GOD only the stuff in the show needs to be considered 100% canon you can pick and choose all the other stuff or ignore it entirely

in conclusion all fiction is subjective and writing someone “in character” all depends on how you perceive the character. these are my perceptions of the character and yeah i get really frustrated when people don’t agree because i believe mine are those that make the most sense and that good representation of neurodivergent and lgbta+ people is important also im petty and annoying. the most important thing is that you be consistent with your portrayals (unless your perception of the character is inconsistency in which case good luck)