#IT HAS EVERYTHIIIIING

[elegyofthemoon]

love relistening to a fave song and then you realize something new about it that gives me even more appreciation >:O

[lalkasdom]

Lmaoo the amount of blunts about to be smoked in this bathroom. Ugh imagine I build in an ash tray that would be everythiiiiing, but that extravagance should be reserved for my master bath. Along with a bidet. My lil belgian tiler was COVERED in dust today his whole head and hair were caked in white powder. I just vacuumed and put in an air purifier in there for him because it was absurd. Anyway i’m struggling to decide which shower head and handle color to get. The shower glass that’s being installed has matte black accents so the easy choice is to match, if the shower glass didnt have black features I think my mind would say brushed nickel/silver but silver and black will look cheap. Gold and black can be either super chic or super ghetto so im torn. This is calling as the right choice because the white little accent is bringing it all together for me. It’s retarded that that little white dot is selling me but.

[96crewlove]

i have never listened to an artist that i relate to as much as halsey like oh . my god.

that album shook the life out of me. i crashed out listening to NEARLY EVERY SONG (as you have probably seen). the lyrics, the production, the compositions, EVERYTHIIIIING about this album was so so so good like you could FEEL EVERYTHING FROM TRACK 1 TO THE LAST AND HALSEY HAS BEEN LEAVING ME LIKE THAT SINCE ROOM 93 LIKE HOW DO THEY NOT HAVE ALL THE AWARDS ? 😀 (the global music industry is rigged asf)

i say with every album of theirs, but i will be making this album my entire personality now (because, like i said, i relate to halsey mad heavy and therefore am a great impersonator too) and will most probably be deaf by christmas 👍🏾

1000000000000000 to infinity out of 10 album. halsey, i love you and i pray you live forever and have a long long life. fight relentlessly to the end, you absolute badass.

[anderstrevelyan]

Inspired by @mightymizora to post about my bg3 fics so far with some lines from comments as reviews—because self-promotion of things you're proud of is good!! You should do this too if you want, any fic writers seeing this.

My Blood Your Paint

(BG3; 3k, one-shot; M for violence; one-sided The Dark Urge/Enver Gortash) Most simply: the Act 3 coronation from Gortash's perspective. Otherwise: the joy of realizing his partner lives, the horror that he doesn't remember, the twisting knife of hope that he remains more than just a faint echo of himself. Plus some patriar murder. (This is the one all this was in service of.) "I am in pain :’) this was excellent!!!" "This is EVERYTHIIIIING that I've been thinking about in my head and heart about this ship"

The Heart

(BG3; 2k, one-shot; M for violence and sex; The Dark Urge/Enver Gortash) This one started with the mental image of them together holding a struggling, still-beating heart in their hands, and turned into a little snapshot of the horrifying intimacy of their pre-canon relationship. A little murder for breakfast. "I thought i was getting over Gortash but nvm i guess, this fic has it ALL" "Everything in this story is just so incredibly hot to me I aslkdlaksfjlksdfslk"

And this one isn't out yet, but is probably the next on the publishing horizon and I want to talk about it, sooooo:

Haunted One (forthcoming)

(BG3; 20-25k; four chapters; M; The Dark Urge & Jaheira, The Dark Urge/Enver Gortash) This is Valas DeVir's origin story, told in four days: the last day of his childhood and his first day as Bhaal's, then the first day he meets Enver Gortash and the last day before...you know, Orin. With one chapter in each pair from an outside perspective (Jaheira's, then Gortash's) and the other from Valas'. aka how the son of Gorion's Ward goes on to become the Dark Urge There's also a little character study about Viconia DeVir—going from refusing to sacrifice a child to Lloth, to having a child of her own, to sacrificing a Selûnite child's future to Shar—that I'll likely publish separately simultaneously. "honestly the entire description is just heartbreaking and beautiful I could quote it all" "WHY IS THIS HOMICIDAL IDEATION SO PORNOGRAPHIC WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND ALSO WITH ME"

[wordstro]

the way i’m tearing up 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 over the fact that reader won’t ever see yunho and wooyoung again and has to live the rest of her life dead 😞😞😞😞 the last line i feel so bad for hongjoong and reader but anyhow the moment i was on my phone and i got the notif that u had posted the final chapter i had literally dropped everythiiiiing to read it so sorry for the fast response 😭😭😭 will u be writing little snippets of life after or wooyoung and yunho and the rest of the boys reaction to readers “death” but !!!! i’m also very excited for ur other works :)

omg so this is actually a happier ending, i really did want to make mc’s fate similar to elia martel’s and had the line “you were four-and-ten again, realizing you were never meant to set foot in dorne again.” but i was like i swore this would be a happy ending!!! 😭

hongjoong was just so heavily messed up and his control/power/sense of ownership trumps everything else. even if he did love mc he’s a terrible person.

i’m so sorry for making u sad :((( i might write more snippets if i get the urge to but just know that the rest of the story lowkey plays out like the characters they’re inspired by - wooyoung is oberyn martell and he makes it his life mission to get vengeance for his sibling’s death and we all know how that ended in the game of thrones series 😬 and yunho is like doran martell which is just so :(((. also yeosang is like jaime lannister and that’s another shit show. i might write a wooyoung one shot though as the sand viper!! that’ll be fun

thank you!! i’m excited to write the next series (mingi sector 1) because i’ve been thinking about the story a looot

[mercury-and-scry]

HI MERC. I HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT SEVERAL CHATACTERS:

KONNER: 7, 18, 28

MICAH: 10, 15

CLAIRE: 18, 22, 39

YOU: D, G, J

SMOOCHES YOU

ok THIS IS GONNA BE FAT SO I THROW IT UNDER A READ MORE

for Konner:

18: What embarrasses them? Konner is someone who can tend to make a lot of presumptions, and for all her ego, she can be quite embarrassed on the occasions she's proven just dead wrong. Just pointing out to her face that she's been totally proven wrong makes her QUITE humiliated if you do it right. 28. Do they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? Of course!!! thats the spiral avatar for you baby!!! For Micah: 10: What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? that he doesn't see """imaginary""" monsters Micah lies to his parents a lot about what his line of work is, he generally claims to be a scholar and researcher- which isn't totally untrue but its not "I'm a paid paranormal investigator". He isn't prone to shame or guilt without STRONG reason, so the lie doesn't haunt him (but the possibility of them finding out and going "hey what the fuck?" does). 15: How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? Talking to Micah, it's very clear he considers his words very carefully. It's all very deliberate, and you get the sense it's not so much what he's saying, it's what he's careful to not say. For Claire: 18: What embarrasses them? Claire has a very thick Irish accent and strong dialect, which she got mocked for a lot in school, so she's semi-self conscious about that. 22: How does jealousy manifest itself in them? She gets stabby. 39: How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? It genuinely just depends on whether these flaws impede her or not. If someone is the absolute worst but in a way that doesn't impact Claire, that's just fine. But if she doesn't like someone she'll find EVERYTHIIIIING to dislike about them. For ME (there's three questions so ill do one for each of these guys) (<lazy) D: Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? (for Konner) Beta Konner was actually wayyy more of a self insert, so she looked a lot more like me and her physical appearance was very different lol. I changed her up on her redesign when I made her a more independent character and since then I've pushed and pulled a bit with stuff like facial structure, but nothing major. G: Which trait of theirs bother you the most? (for Micah) Micah is incredibly secretive. I don't rlly believe in character traits that are "bad" in context to story, but it can be annoying to write a character who never wants to speak about himself because.....son....your lore.....I also form a lot of characters by feeling like they speak to me/tell me ab themselves, so Micah is ACTUALLY secretive to ME. Which is SO fake of him. J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create your character? (for Claire) Well, Claire is still kind of in beta as far as her lore is concerned but god knows I'll have to do some more research into the Slaughter, since on paper its not a top entity for me. I find it hard to figure out at what point you stab so much it counts as supernatural, lol. SMOOCHES U BACK

[dreamwritesimagines]

No bc I totally get why everyone is telling Clover to apologize to Benedict bUT ALSO THE ANGST???? LIKE UGH IDK DO I WANT THEM TO KISS ALREADY? OBVIOUSLY BUT ALSO THE WRITING?? TO REMIND US THAT CLOVER CAME FROM AN AB*SIVE HOMELIFE AND LIKE HOW THAT AFFECTS HER IN HER FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PPL? UGH JUST SO GOOD

That's a really good question, do we want them to kiss already? 😂

Trauma affects everythiiiiing! 💔 And Clover has a lot of it💔

Thank you so much love! ❤️

[ray935sworld]

🐢 I feel so bad to only now get to write this because it's been a whole DAY but I wanted to reply when I have the actual time because everybody (you, the other anons, Pedrenzo, list goes on) deserves it. And I am SO EXCITED about all this. First of all, yes yes use everything we've come up with for this au when writing it, I can't WAIT to read more about this au and them in general. (Btw that Marcmarc one killed me so freaking much and it was so adorable and perfect and aaahhhhh, I can't even put into words how my heart skips a beat everything I get a notification that you've posted a new fic, lots of love to you, hugs, forehead kisses, everythiiiiing).

Okay and now to Pedrenzo. The fear of being left you've mentioned. It's like, it's so fragile everything they've built up for themselves. It's been hard work to let the other close again (for Dani to let a new version of Jorge close and for Jorge to come clean with the fact that their intimacy has changed radically from one moment to the other). And they're both so afraid. Afraid of being left by the other person. And while it's not really miscommunication, it definitely has some bits of it.

I haven't read 🐱's ask yet but: I love the roles reversed thing for their first kiss. Like maybe they're lying in bed and Dani is vibrating with how badly he wants to find out how the kiss will feel. But he's also so scared that maybe Jorge won't ljke it. After all, Jorge knows how they kiss, but Dani doesn't - what if it will be bad? What if Dani will act weird? And for Jorge, he doesn't want to overreact even though his heart is killing him, he can't think straight, he can't breathe, he wants to kiss Dani so badly but what if Dani won't like it again? What if this will not only be their second first kiss but also their last kiss ever? There is so much on the table, and so much pressure surrounding them. But maybe one of them then is like okay we need to calm down now and then they hold hands and get closer to the other and then they kiss and it's all perfect- and I've decided to skim over the recent ask and maybe it's something different to that but now I've written it already haha oops.

I will go and read the other asks now and then come back with a second ask. AND much love to all anons who have spread the love to me as well, you are so sweet 😭❤️

Oh my love no! No, no, never feel bad for taking your time! Really, I'm just happy you're here. So please, take your time and say as much/ little you want to say. ❤️

Yes! Also the change over the fic with the fear is GREAT. Like at first you have Dani pushing Jorge away and trying to get away from him. But then he more and more developes the fear of losing/ being left by Jorge. While for Jorge it would be the constant fear of thinking that Dani decides he (Jorge) isn't worth trying to remember and he gives up on their relationship or fear that Dani won't love him again.

And you're right, it's not excatly misunderstanding but the level of understanding for tbe other is completely different. I mean Jorge knows Dani very well and he can almost perfectly react to his emotions but Dani knows barely the basics about Jorge and only over racing. He has no real idea how Jorge acts in a domestic setting. He doesn't know what triggers Jorge has or anything like that.

And I LOVE your version of the second first kiss. Especially with all the anxiety building up to it and with what depends on it. It's great. And yeah it's differing from 🐱s version bug tbh I think it really depends on how tbe story goes and which is more suitable so no promises. I think both versions are fitting in their own way.

[bvidzsoo]

YAH despite knowing what happens I STILL—😫😭

No but really, this is also one of my favourite chapters, it’s just SOO good😭😭🫠 the feels, the writing, everythiiiiing. (Ngl Hongjoong kinda pissed me off with his bipolar ass and claiming her AS IF HE CAN JUST DO THAT👁️ but anywaaays) this conversation was long overdue and I’m so sad for her that she has to face everything alone while Yunho has both Hongjoong and Mingi (hehe ikyk) there for him, and she just needs to figure things out on her own. (Not that Mingi isn’t making Yunho suffer AS HE SHOULD lol)

In conclusion, Hongjoong needs a therapist—alongside everyone else in this story lol.

Also, this is her whenever Hongjoong “chokes” her:

Will I Ever See You Again? CHAPTER 4: Everything I Wanted

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Warning: cursing, violence

Word count: 4,4 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far. A lot of actions happening so be ready. The truth unfolds. Please listen to this song, it plays an important role in the story. Enjoy, reading! (sorry for the late update, if anyone is still interested at all lmao). Byee!

(Series Masterlist)

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 @chatsgotmytongue

@xiang-zalea @cookiesandcreammy (taglist is open)

I felt my heart in my throat as I listened to the loud bangs coming from the doorway.

I looked at Hongjoong, panicked. "What should we do now? We can't fight them."

He slowly faced me, stood in front of me, grabbed the sides of my upper arms, and leaned down to be at my height. "Listen very carefully!" His tone got lower. "You have to leave the house as soon as possible, Y/N!" His face went dark as I saw that some stupid plan was playing in his head.

"No fucking way I'm going to leave you here, Hongjoong!" I told him, looking into his eyes desperately.

"Sugar," he cupped my face. "I'm going to follow you as soon as I've won enough time for you to leave safely." He looked back at the door as the outsiders got more impatient.

I held his hands still holding my face. "No, Joong, we fight with them together, or we leave together. I'm not going to leave you here. Please, Hongjoong!" I started to sob as my voice got quieter.

"Fuck, Y/N, it's not the time to be stubborn." He stepped away from me, getting angrier. He went to the window to peek outside.

I stepped next to him, so I could see five men standing in the dark, shouting for us to let them inside. "You know you can't do anything against five men. Please think a little bit, Hongjoong." I reached my hand towards his upper arm, to make sure he knew I was by his side, not the enemy. "Look, if we sneak out through the backdoor that leads towards the ocean, I'm sure we can leave them behind and call for help." I had an idea as I tried to convince him to come with me.

He looked stressed as he ran his fingers through his messy hair, then brushed his palms against his face, trying to think clearly. "Okay, then I'm going to call Yunho to speak to the rest of the gang, and we're going to trap them." He looked around the living room, still thinking.

"Help me gather some things in front of the door. I have a feeling they're going to break it in no time." He went near the armchair, lifting it as if it were a feather. I quickly ran to the kitchen to grab the chairs, and we put anything we could in front of the door.

"That's it. Now run!" he suddenly said, grabbing my right hand and pulling me along with him.

I had no time to think as I just focused on not falling. We quickly escaped through the backdoor. The chilly air of the night hit me like a rumble of thunder; I was wearing one of Yunho's purple hoodies only. The moon was up in the sky, showing the way towards the ocean with its brightness as we were running in the moonlight. We climbed over the fence, just to arrive at the neighboring street. Hongjoong still held my hand and didn't let it go, not even for a second.

I think I might need to start jogging because recently, I've been running for my life every day, it's not even a joke. My breathing started to get heavy. I looked behind me quickly to make sure no one was following us. I started to slow down as I thought I might throw up at any second.

"Sugar, don't slow down, we need to reach the ocean." He looked back at me, holding my hand stronger, pulling me along. Two streets remained until we reached the coast. Suddenly, I felt the need to look back again, and when I did, I saw two black shadows far away running after us.

"They are—following��us," I said heavily, my breathing becoming more uncontrolled. This wasn't the time to panic, so I tried to gather myself.

Hongjoong looked back. "Okay, sugar, they aren't that close. Keep going, we're nearly there." He tried to motivate me.

The houses were slowly disappearing as the air got saltier, whispering danger. The scenery changed into a darker scene, the sun barely visible, and the golden hour disappeared just minutes ago. After running without stopping, we were near the ocean, and I started to hear the loud crashing of the waves against the cliff. It wasn't a normal coast; there wasn't any sand slipping through your fingers—the only thing that could slip through your fingers was your life, as these waves were killers, crashing you against the cliff with the power of a boxer's stroke, multiplied by ten.

We arrived at the edge of the cliff, my legs shaking. I didn't know how I was even able to stand still. I hunched over as something in my throat wanted to escape. I breathed heavily, feeling like I was on a roller coaster. Hongjoong did the same. He was trained, but this much running could defeat an athlete as well. The sound of the crashing waves never stopped, making an unnatural beat. I straightened up when I felt a little bit better and looked down at the ocean. Not much distance separated us from the ocean.

"How the hell did they find us, for fuck's sake?" I heard Hongjoong behind my back.

I was no longer there. I fucking lost my mind. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, as I was so sick of this, sick of the constant running. I couldn't do it anymore. My legs gave up as I fell to the ground, trying to breathe in some air, but it just couldn't reach my lungs. Hongjoong stepped next to me as soon as I fell, to grab me. I felt like I was in a never-ending dream, where I had everything, I wanted, but suddenly it turned into a nightmare.

"Hey, sugar, look at me!" He grabbed my wet cheeks, and I didn't even realize I was crying. "Look at me, please, Y/N, stay with me!" His voice was like the ocean, but softer, more concerned. He was blurry, as I didn't see him because of my tears, but I looked at him.

"Good girl, now I need you to breathe in and out slowly." I heard his voice from the distance; it felt like I was hearing that familiar melody I always heard in the back of my mind. I felt as if my body obeyed him. I inhaled as the salty air reached my lungs finally, spreading like veins, then I exhaled, finally letting out the stress I had been through, coming back to Hongjoong, to the real world, where we were at the edge of a cliff and some fuckers wanted us dead.

I reached my hand to Hongjoong's hand, which was still holding my head. "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you, sugar, I promise." His face was full of something I didn't recognize; his words hugged me, keeping me alive with every second.

I nodded as he helped me up from the ground, some sanity coming back to my mind. I looked behind Hongjoong and saw two figures coming our way. They didn't even run, as we were trapped here like rabbits. Hongjoong took out his phone from his pocket and quickly typed something on it, then switched it off just to throw it on the ground.

"Now, listen to me, Y/N, you have to trust me. Do you trust me?" I shouldn't, why would I? But he wasn't the enemy; he only wanted to protect me. I nodded, words not coming out of my mouth.

"We need to jump—they think they trapped us, but I know this place like the back of my hand. When I was a kid, we jumped from here all the time, it's really not that bad." He grabbed my upper arms to look straight into my eyes.

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you kidding me? You ask me to jump straight into those killer waves?" My voice was weak, barely escaping my lips.

"I'm going to be there, next to you, Y/N. We don't have time. They are going to think we are dead. But trust me, please, with only this thing." He tried to convince me, his voice sounding weak just like mine.

"Fuck…" I looked behind him at the two evil shadows closing the distance between us, then back to the waves that lured me like they promised life to me. "Okay, fuck, let's do this," I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"I'm proud of you, sugar, we can do this." He wiped my cheeks with a careful touch, scared not to break me. "I'm right by your side, I'm not letting you go, okay?" His voice was so soft, he could've convinced me to burn the whole world; I would've done it in a second.

I just nodded. He reached his hands towards me, and I accepted them, interlocking our fingers, our hands becoming a padlock with no key. He slowly leaned towards my face and pecked my cheeks.

"Together, on three. Are you ready?" He looked at me, his eyes giving me the power to do this fucked up plan where we could easily die.

"Ready," I said, nodding my head.

Hongjoong looked behind him for the last time and shouted, "GOODBYE, FUCKERS!" and he lifted his free hand in the air, just to show them his middle finger.

I would've laughed at that, but I was so fucking stressed I couldn't think of anything else other than the fact that I'm going to jump into the ocean.

"Okay, sugar, remember, don't let my hand go. I'll be there to protect you." He looked at me for the last time.

"Three, two, one!" He shouted as he stepped towards the edge, pulling me with him into the crashing waves, looking at us like some monsters waiting for their food, open-mouthed. The seconds were longer than hours; everything felt slow, like in a movie. I felt like I left my body. I felt the air in my lungs leaving me and the only thing I could focus on was Hongjoong's hand, making sure I didn't lose it. I heard a loud crashing noise, feeling the icy water hit my body. I closed my eyes as I felt the salty water entering my lungs, almost like it whispered to me, “Welcome to your last journey.”

≫ I would sink with you until we reach the bottom

Not letting the monsters catch us above ≪

Darkness was surrounding me, my body was numb, I didn't know where I was exactly, was I dead or was I alive? I didn't know it anymore, as my lungs were full of something salty, I didn't recognize. It was hard to breathe because something heavy, pushed me down into the dark, not letting me go. Chains choked my neck and my wrists, it became one with my skin, locking me down. I just couldn't escape.

Dim light hit my eyes, but still, I didn't see anything. I felt like I was blind, I was still in the dark, not letting the lights in. I inhaled the air, which wasn't salty anymore. It was fresh and warm.

The music hit my ears and I started singing. That was the moment when I realized I was standing on the familiar stage, curious eyes watching me, waiting for me to let my voice out so it could slowly crawl into their ears, possessing their brain as if it was some kind of superpower of mine.

♪ I had a dream,

I got everything I wanted ♪

My voice was so far away from me, that I felt like I was still underwater. I felt like all of this was a dream.

♪ And if I'm being honest

It might've been a nightmare ♪

That turned into a nightmare.

♪ Thought I can fly

So, I stepped off the Golden ♪

Suddenly I felt, as if I was on the edge of the cliff, ready to fly straight into the crashing waves.

♪ But when I wake up, I see

You with me ♪

I saw Hongjoong next to me, when I stepped closer to the edge, I felt two hands pushing me down into the waves, sending me down, alone.

♪ And you say

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you

If I could change the way that you see yourself

You wouldn't wonder

"They don't deserve you" ♪

The familiar hands caught me, while falling, just to protect me from the waves, just so we fell into the ocean together. I felt safe around those arms, I felt like I was drowning but he still brought me back to life.

♪ I tried to scream

But my head was underwater

And it feels like yesterday was a year ago

But I don't wanna let anybody know ♪

Where was the reality? Where was the reality, where we escaped from the ocean, which felt like an eternity? I felt like we were locked down into the depth of the ocean forever.

In reality, it was only a few seconds as Hongjoong helped me out from the crashing waves, being the helping hand, that I needed my whole life.

Something changed there inside of me and nothing was the same anymore.

My eyes found him in the crowd, but I only saw him, everything was black, but he was shining. He was the light in my darkness. Just when we were in the ocean I opened my eyes for a moment, just to see him, holding me like his life depended on it.

I locked my eyes with him. He looked at me like I was the shining moon in the dark night.

♪ If I knew it all then, would I do it again?

Would I do it again? ♪

The melody ended, and I felt like my heart was pumping blood into my body fast, I was afraid I might explode. I wasn't myself; I couldn't recognize the strange people around me. I felt empty inside, my body was there, suddenly dancing in the crowd, I don't remember if I drank something, but probably I didn't have to, because I felt dizzy enough from this strange feeling that wasn't even a feeling. Something pushed my chest so hard; that I couldn't breathe. I felt strange hands around me, touching me. I wanted them to stop, but I couldn't let out my voice, it stuck halfway in my throat. I wanted to escape from there, but I was still in the dark.

I felt one, now familiar hand, grabbing my wrist. Two fiery eyes looked at me like they could burn me alive right there, I wouldn't even care. He dragged me along, through the moving bodies, through a door. Shining light hit me again, dragging me out from the dark, as we reached the bathroom. Hongjoong pushed me inside, letting my wrist go.

"Get the fuck out!" He shouted at the pair who were making out innocently in the bathroom. When they saw Hongjoong’s furious face they were running for their lives.

His furious voice brought me back to the real world all of a sudden, and I started to feel my surroundings, as the air got into my lungs finally. Chills ran through my body, and I started to feel the numbness escaping my body, as I was myself again. What the hell was happening to me?

Suddenly, I was standing in front of Hongjoong, trying to remember what happened in the last few hours, as I wasn't really myself from yesterday.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" Hongjoong's voice was dark, it sounded like he was furious and I didn't know the cause of it.

I stepped back a little, as he stepped towards me, we played this game until my back reached the cold wall of the bathroom.

"I'm not doing anything." I let my voice out finally, I felt like I hadn't been speaking for at least a year, and my voice came out weak and quiet.

"I saw as that fucker touched you and you let him? Are you really that desperate for attention?" His eyes were full of desire, with jealousy. He leaned closer to my face, his right hand on the wall next to my head.

My blood started to boil. Why was he acting like this? I was in a state where I just didn't understand anything at all and to be honest I didn't even care.

I looked at him furiously. "Why the fuck do you even care of what am I doing? You didn't even look at me since yesterday.” My voice came out unfazed. “I don't have the energy for this now, Hongjoong." I said, as I stepped out from his cage and went to open the door. But as I opened the door it was shot back right then, as I saw a hand on it pushing it back with a force.

"Don't you dare to run away from me, sugar!" He said stepping close to my back, whispering it into my neck.

I slowly turned around, looking at him sharply. "What if I am?" My voice came out a little teasingly.

He suddenly pushed me against the door by my neck, his hands around it like a chain.

"You can't run away; I won't let you." He leaned closer to my face, his hands tightening around my neck. It wasn't hurtful, he had got me in a chokehold but still, I felt like it was the most caring touch I have ever experienced.

I stayed quiet, I couldn't really say anything at all, because of his hands around my neck. My heart was racing quickly as I tried to breathe.

"I think about you all the fucking time, you drive me crazy, and I just can't watch standing still as someone else is touching you." He said with a tone I never heard from him, it whispered possession and safeness.

"Why?" This was the only word I could somehow push over my lips.

His hands got loose around my neck, as he slowly started caressing the two sides of my face. "Because you are mine, and mine only." His lips were almost touching mine as his voice came out so demanding I felt like I'm going to melt right into his hands.

I wanted to kiss him so badly, I felt like I couldn't breathe without him anymore. But I had one last question.

"Why are you doing all of this? This protective side of you and shit." I tried to explain my question as I wanted to know why was I this important to him.

"I promised your dad I'm going to protect you at all costs." His eyes were now on the wall next to me, he looked like some memories were playing in front of him. Some bad memories, because his eyes started to water.

"Hey, look at me." I cupped his face, lifting his head towards me to look into my eyes.

"What happened? Do you know something about my father's death?" I looked at him my eyes full of concern as I saw how suddenly Hongjoong got influenced by some memories.

"I—It's…yes." He looked into my eyes, but he seemed like he wasn't there, it felt like he was in a memory at this moment.

"Tell me Hongjoong, please. I don't fucking know a thing about how he died, about what happened. Does Yunho know?" My voice got weaker as I was on the verge of crying.

He just nodded. "We didn't tell you because we didn't want to put you in danger. All of this shit is dangerous, as your dad experienced it on his own. The gang, that attacked you two weeks ago killed your father." He was looking at me, trying to explain all the things that happened in the past. But as he said those words 'killed your father', everything went quiet for a moment, I thought I might die right there. Tears started to appear in my eyes.

He continued. "He was part of that criminal gang, it was a trader gang, still is, doing some illegal trading shit, with guns and even people. We didn't know how your father got into that gang, we only found it out the day when he died." Hongjoong's voice cracked a little, getting weaker and weaker. My breathing started to get quicker as I was listening to him.

"It was one morning when we were in the kitchen. You and Yunho were already in school, and I was alone with your father when suddenly some people broke into the house and kidnapped both of us. I didn't know what the hell was happening, and your dad said nothing at all, just to shut up.” His face looked full of emotions, as if he was back on that day, experiencing it again. “They took us somewhere, I don't know, it looked like an abandoned factory. They tied us to a chair. And suddenly they were arguing about some stolen money and a man who got saved by your father, so they couldn't trade him. I didn't really understand what was happening. They started to be rough, they threw your dad on the floor. I have only some memories about the whole thing..." He suddenly stopped; his eyes were as empty as a black hole. "...I—I saw as they—" His breathing started to quicken, tears rolling down his face. My heart was aching, seeing him like this, my tears blinding my eyes.

"Hey, hey, look at me, Hongjoong." I cupped his face, forcing him to look at me. Now it was my turn to help him out. "It's okay, it was a long time ago." I tried to bring him back here, into the present.

He grabbed my wrists, looking into my eyes with so much guilt, that his eyes were screaming at me. "I— couldn't do anything, Y/N—they killed him right there…and I couldn't do anything at all." He started to sob, hiding his face in my neck. "His last words were to protect you no matter what. And I promised—I promised I'd never let anything happen to you." He mumbled into my neck, his voice barely recognizable. I was frozen; I couldn't perceive what he just said. Suddenly I didn't know where I was. I only felt Hongjoong against me, as he let his heart out, confessing his sins to me, without fear. The fact that my father was killed also killed half of my heart, leaving emptiness on that side. And the fact that Hongjoong saw it all and blamed himself killed the other half of my heart, leaving me heartless as my thoughts flew at me like furious birds, killing every part of me.

I was suddenly a bird in a cage, not even wanting to leave the emptiness.

My subconscious reached for my hands to bury them in Hongjoong's black and blonde hair. Trying to calm him down, as I couldn't even calm myself. "It's okay, Joong. It's not your fault." I said quietly.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at me with red eyes, tears still on his face. "We tried—alongside Yunho, we tried to get revenge for him. We entered that gang with pen names so they didn't know who we were. They didn't recognize me, as I bleached my hair like this back then. At first, the plan was working really well, they didn't know who we were. Then somehow, they found out, and that's when they started to attack you and us too." He looked down at the floor, looking guilty, looking like he already accepted his fate.

I slowly buried my face in my palms, as I needed to process all the things he said. This was fucked up; the whole situation was so fucked up, I didn't know what to do.

"You knew… you knew the whole time how my father died and you didn't tell me…" I said as little tears rolled down my face, without my knowing. "Yunho pretended he didn't know it, he lied to my fucking face, kept me like a bird in a cage…" I didn't feel anything at this point, I never felt this heartbroken. My chest was hurting, I felt like my heart was burning at that moment, leaving only ashes behind.

Hongjoong looked at me with wide eyes, trying to say something, but words didn't come out. "I could've helped if I knew…We could've avenged him, together. But I was a fucking princess closed in a tower that had no exit, Hongjoong. I lost all of my feelings." I was crying now, tears rolling down my face like a waterfall. "You two were there for each other, but who was there for me? Huh? No one." I was angry at him, at Yunho, at myself for letting my anger off on Hongjoong. "Yunho got into this shit because of you." I pointed at him, losing all of my sanity. He couldn't say anything as his face told me too many things. Disappointment, sadness, guilt, regret. Anger took me over, so I said some things I didn't mean at all. "My father died because of you, Hongjoong." That was the stupidest sentence that had ever escaped my mouth, but I said it, and there was no turning back, as Hongjoong's face returned to its emotionless position, where I just couldn't read anything.

I couldn’t look at him anymore, as I turned over, opening the door. I wanted to disappear from there, I didn't want to be near him. I just wanted to disappear from the world. As I realized what I had said to him, my heart was clenching, and I felt shame crawling into my heart, not wanting to leave it. I went out into the dark, chilly night, I just wanted to clear my head, and the only solution was to go as far as possible from here. I sat in my car, turned on the engine, and drove away from this shitty town, running away from my problems, as this was the easiest thing to do.

≫ The red string connecting us now bleeds, 

Leaving drops of blood behind, 

Showing the way towards me ≪

-Previous Part- Next Part>

[go-forth-and-live]

[sailorhyunjinz]

Hi! How have you've been?

-cowlicious anon🐄

OH HIIII <333

i've been in a rollercoaster emotionally the past like month but yeah it's getting better and im coping well, trying to be nice to myself everyday, just finished a 10 k fic and HSHSHA I DONT KNOW IF OTHER WRITERS CAN RELATE TO THIS BUT LIKE when you're done writing a longer fic that has a storyline it's the same feeling you get when you've just watched a movie and it ends or a series that has a end-season finale, like that emptiness of being like "OK WHAT TF DO I WATCH NOW???"

i usually only work on one piece at a time because my brain cant multitask, im literally changbin when it comes to multitasking so now im just like "ok,,, i have nothing to write,,,, i wan immerse myself in a plot,,,, but im too tired,,,," we'll see if something inspires a storyline to a fic but i honestly dont think that im gonna get much writing done anyways because uni always gets fucking insane during november/december so uhm,,,, BUT IDK MAYBE CHRISTMAS FICS??? THATS KINDA CUTE???

enough about me, how have you been my lovely anon?? tell me everythiiiiing~~

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

allen walker for the character ask, please. I'm very curious to hear what your thoughts are, if you don't mind

awesome!

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them oh my god everythiiiiing hes SUCH a good character! hes my FAVORITE MC TROPE a guy who seems so sweet and so nice but is actually very fucked up inside and SURPRISINGLY manipulative like hes charming because HE WANTS TO BE??? holy shiiiiiit. the blueprint for me!!! no mc has ever done what he did ever since

least favorite thing about them nothing hes peak fiction

favorite line very early in the series where he met crowley at the first time and he was like "haha dont kill urself killing monsters can be your reason to live :)!!!!" or something like that. he said it so sincerely like as if he thinks its a fucking normal mindset to have because this is HIS own mindset because hes literally crazy

brOTP kanda and him. MY blueprint. like :) >:/ pairing. this is my favorite dynamic forever. the contrasting ideologies the fire and ice of it all literally theyre the IT duo. i also love him w the rest of the cast :)) him and lenalee omg i need to see them together again 😭😭😭 him and lavi too.. theyre the brotp4 fr. him and johnny! him and LINK! hes great with everybody.

OTP idc

nOTP idc

random headcanon very artistic :))) in another life he wouldve been an artist, a performing one. likes sentimental stories. its been established that hes good at tricks, i think hes the kind of person whos good at random shit, like a true jack of trades-- like he'd trying doing something and got it right on the first try and then he goes "im just lucky :)" because hes annoying like that. given the chance he would be able to play every musical instrument. he would've enjoyed comic books as well, i really believe that.

unpopular opinion its been such a long time since i was active in dgm fandom (if i was even active at all) and since i read dgm fics but people should really write him meaner and faker hes the #1 fake bitch who is ALSO, at the same time, a genuinely good person with a good heart. the duality. hes literally the ideal mc the layers of him omg. like depicting him as naive is not wrong per se but like understand that whenever hes naive he CHOOSES to be naive. if u get it u get it

song i associate with them im not okay (i promise), the black parade, kill all ur friends, na na na yes yes the whole mcr treatment i dont give a fuck!!!! linkin park too like in the end, LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST,,, PARAMORES BRICK BY BORING BRICK....just 2010s rock treatment do you understand the vibe???!!!!!!!!!!

favorite picture of them the chokehold this pic has on me when i was in middle school like this was THE picture i loved this picture so much its in my 14 year old mind rent free

also this is my favorite hoshino art phase :)

[mozaikrolez]

SEND ME A FANDOM / accepting !

@kisumshi​​ sent :  Tokrev AND Bnha

tokyo revengers

The first character I first fell in love with: takashi mitsuya!!!! as soon as i saw him i knew i was gonna love him sm. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DADDIED TAIJU UP??? iconic, no words. 

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: izana kurokawa! when he first came i was worried for obvious reasons (he appeared to be a big threat) but now i just… i want the best for him– lol. i still don’t like kisaki tetta but my big bro had me look at him differently (& want to write as him as well). he just reminded me that he cried while he shot takemitchi & since i read it kinda fast, i overlooked that seemingly small detail. i don’t think he was crying fake tears & while it could be thrown off as ‘obviously he’s gonna cry killing his longtime friend’ n shit, but i guess i think there may be more to it on his part that we don’t know. i wonder what that is & i want to understand it a bit more, ya know. 

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: i don’t hate any characters at all, which is shocking — well not enough to put it here BUT — k CONTROVERSIAL OPINION! drakken over mikey… emma lets make a trade (i’m joking).

The character I love that everyone else hates: dunno? maybe shion madarame?? he’s everyone’s punching bag, especially in the series but he has a sizable group of ppl that like him. so everyone that ‘hates’ him in this case is solely from tokrev LOL

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: i used to LOVE mikey but i’m clutching my pearls. i feel like by the time it’s all over i’ll love him again. i’m just going through the emotions that revolve around the current situations, ya know (am i making sense)?

The character I would totally smooch: this whole fandom is filthy & i ain’t no better, tf! the haitani bros, imaushi wakasa, bonten haruchiyo akashi, izana kurokawa & let’s stop there (i’m staring directly at u south)

The character I’d want to be like: takashi mitsuya! need i explain myself, he’s EVERYTHIIIIING!

The character I’d slap: mikey! get ur shit checked (i’d give him a hug after, it’d be like those anime scenes- lol)

A pairing that I love: takashi mitsuya & hakkai shiba

A pairing that I despise: aside from the incestuous ones (cuz that’s obvi), hajime kokonoi & seishu inui

boku no hero academia

The first character I first fell in love with: mina ashido! she was my first muse & i picked her up as a challenge in 2016 cuz my friend suggested i try rping as a side character & make her my own with hc’s! i did & it’s funny looking back at my old hc’s & threads, even some notes that survived & how close they ended up being to canon things from recent times. i also like stain!

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: dabi. he was always on my radar but he creeped up behind me & became one of my favs, he’s even the reason why i continued reading bnha. the whole todoroki family interests me in general!

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: i’m starting to notice that not many ppl like this character but a good chunk still do, i’m talking bout u izuku midoriya! (lowkey tired of his ass)

The character I love that everyone else hates: idk actually??? i like mirio togata, not a whole lot but i think he’s cool.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: izuki midoriya & i can say that with confidence.

The character I would totally smooch: overhaul, midnight, miruko & dabi — 🥵spicy!

The character I’d want to be like: miruko, she’s so badass & i love her sm!

The character I’d slap: i don’t want to go for the expected answer, so i’m gonna saaaaay… katsuki bakugo.

A pairing that I love: none, i care for none of it. mostly a rare pair person & i’m scared to say (it ain’t bad but the fandom is feisty)

A pairing that I despise: the bnha fandom scares me, i’m keeping my mouth SHUT.

[javid-shamash]

if u still doing the playlist ask…. cyrus kiki and aeon!

Cyrus: High Tide Rising by Fox

There's a big storm comin' And I don't care

literally tempest cleric moments. also depression + post-apocalypse vibes. just. all of cyrus’ vibes in one neat package

Kiki: String Theocracy by Mili

Maybe we're all cold machines Stuffed in the human skin With human sins Sewed up by the gods of city

bro this song has EVERYTHIIIIING for kiki. being controlled by other people. dehumanization. experiments. its the theme song for a game about turning people into books for a traumatized AI. what more could you want

Aeon: The Only Heartbreaker by Mitski

So I'll be the loser in this game I'll be the bad guy in the play I'll be the water main that's burst and flooding You'll be by the window, only watching

aeon’s relationship with echo was very very healthy. for both of them. completely. 100%

[sword-and-lance]

((Y’know what, fuck it, I’m itching to do this one and I’m in a Mood this morning, so have one of those Hot Take memes totally unprompted:

🔥 What is your hottest take on your fandom?

I mean, @aetherstitch covered one of the Hottest Takes, but mine personally outside of that?

The weird emphasis on having to be “objectively correct” about literally fucking everything is...something that needs to fucking stop, jfc. Everythiiiiing is Totally Right or Totally Wrong, and god forbid you go against the prevailing opinion on it, even when you’ve practically written a whole damn essay on it and even kept it in your own space and everything—yes this is about the two characters you’re probably thinking about and no I am not letting this go.

Can’t just dislike a character, they have to be Problematic! Can’t just like a character who actually is problematic, have to go excuse everything they did as Good, Actually!

Can’t write anything not sunshine and rainbows, that makes you as a person Bad! Can’t write anything not grimdark, that makes you a naive dumbass who “can’t handle the REEEEAL world”!

Can’t just have a plain ol’ argument, one of you has to be Abusive! Can’t just avoid some people for your own reasons, you have to provide a thirty-page essay on why you don’t wanna interact with them!

Like holy shit most of you are fucking insufferable please to be stopping and thinking once in a while, thanks))

[superkitten-poison]

I am bored so I'll awnser every question here heyyy (by @sapphichours)

1. Lesbian :D

2. Mostly. My close family, my friends and my whole school know, my dad doesn't tho haha so that's fun.

3. 12

4. Honestly some of it was loving to play lesbian characters in RPGs kdhskhs. But really really it was this girl who went to my dance class with me, every time someone asked me who I liked or who I wanted to kiss, I always ended up thinking about her, and once I cried because she canceled meeting with me so ya know, I realized there was something there

5. I did consider being demiromantic for a while

6. No, but I want to!!! And there's one this weekend in my city!!!! I hope I'm able to

7. Yes! I bought the classic rainbow pride flag this month. I reeeeaaally want a lesbian one (the most popular one) tho

8. I have dated for two months but it was more of "i really want a girlfriend and you're awesome" than actually falling in love :[

9. She's my best friend, she's really funny and is great with people, she's smart and really uwu. I wasn't in love with her (sadly) but she's a catch

10. Haha, yeah, about that. No real kiss yet. But I dream about it every damn day. Every damn day.

11. Single

12. 🤠

13. I didn't with this was my type but one day I realized most of the girls that made me go "bdhdjshkahxkansbdkahsj" on the street 1. Had shoulder-lenght hair 2. Had pointy noses 3. Tall ❤️💞💝💖💗 4. Not all of them had it but dyed hair is also soooo pretty

14. The appearence is probably what I described in the previous question. I'd like a girl who dresses well cause I'm like that I guess. Someone who's nice and understanding and kind of cheesy, and who'll give me space to be alone when I want to. Also someone who's a good listener and who'll watch my favorite shows with me (as I will watch hers with her) and let me rant about them. Also ya know, not be a TERF or a biphobe, aphobe or racist and shit, pretty important.

15. No, which is really homophobic. I could at least have a girl to daydream about and send anonymous flowers to but noooo

16. They're so soft,,,,, their skin,,,, their hair,,,,,, also we can share clothes

17. In real life, it's being kind. But also in theory,,,, being cocky,,,, makes me kdhdjxhakxh

18. We're alone in my house for a day, we bake cookies, sing our favorite songs, watch the sunset, cuddle watching a couple of episodes of a TV show I've already watched, then slow dance to a romantic song, feeling the wind of my huge window on our hair and hearing the world's sounds and being happy. Also a lot of kisses. Like, a lot.

19. Eve Polastri

20. Taya (@strange-aeons), she's really funny and nice and shit

21. Dodie!!! Luv her!!!

22. Maybe "She" by Dodie. Maybe "When It's Right" by Alyson Stoner. Also "Mine" by Taylor Swift is not in itself a gay song but Naya Rivera made it so in Glee and now it almost makes me cry every time.

23. P R I C E F I E L D (also natsuri)

24. I don't know. Probably James Charles??? Mayhaps

25. I don't shave my legs (sometimes I do my armpits), I love cats and I REALLY want a girlfriend

26. Kitty

27. Throught text kinda, face to face I don't think so, bro

28. Actively engaging in conversation with me. And dyed hair.

29. Everythiiiiing. First kiss. Cute overnight dates. Being in love and being loved. Dinner with her and my family. the devil's tango. Everything.

30. Be bolder. If someone has a problem with you, they're in the wrong, and they should now it.