#IT WENT INTO THE SHOWER BUT I DONT WANT TO LOOK IM GOING TO CRY

[weaselishmcdiesel]

a house centipede just fucking barged into the bathroom from under the door fucker im going to be SICK HOWD YOU FIT UNDER THERE

[lethalchiralium]

All I Ask | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: hi. PLEASE GIVE ME REQUESTS FOR THIS IM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS AND I DONT WANT TO START THE ANGST ARC YET PLEASE

warnings: TALKING ABOUT SIMON’S TRAUMA (which includes physical abuse)

summary: Simon tells you why he feels ashamed, plus Mellie decides to be a comforting little baby.

PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

Simon could not get you to slow down, it was worrying him. He had taken the night to just sleep, fighting nightmares and waking up just as tired as he was when his head hit the pillow. He got up, took a shower without having to let Mellie into the bathroom to play, got dressed and made his way downstairs to find you.

The TV was on, the stupid show about those blue dogs playing that Simon secretly enjoyed, Mellie bouncing around in her little walker as you sat on the couch; Winnie’s hair between your fingers, making much prettier braids than he ever has. Though, Winnie has never complained; she said that he braids her hair ‘nicer’, whatever that meant - but it meant everything to him.

The baby in the bright yellow walker looked to him, her hand in her mouth as she smiled and began to coo at him - her free hand making grabbing signals. He smiled, walking straight to her and plucking her from the walker, settled her on his arm while both of her hands gripped his shirt. Her little head rested on his collarbone, a happy little giggle leaving her lips as he turned to his wife and oldest daughter.

Winnie shoveled fistfuls of Cheerios out of the box and into her mouth, infatuated with the blue and orange dogs while you smiled to him, radiant. He almost took a step back, in disbelief of how content you looked.

“You okay?” You spoke, looking back to Winnie’s hair. He gazed down at Mellie, her face looking at the TV too.

“Fine.” He answered, moving towards the couch to sit beside you. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder before draping his free arm on the back of the couch, eyes falling on the TV. “You doin’ okay?”

“I’m more worried about you than I am me.” Your answer made him frown a bit as you looked back to Winnie’s hair.

He looked to your hair, wishing he could see you beautiful face. “You don’t need to worry ‘bout me.”

“I always worry about you.” You murmured, fingers slowing as you continued the one of two Dutch braids. He opened his mouth to say a rebuttal, but you continued, “But this is a whole different kind of worry. This is really hard, and I need to make sure that you’re going to be okay. And that I can help you in any way you need.”

“I should be saying that to you.” His baby tugged on his shirt while the hand not on Mellie settled on your closest shoulder, the girl cuddled on his chest began to coo again. He looked down to her, noticing that she wasn’t even looking at him - she was looking at you.

You turned your head to kiss the hand on your shoulder before turning back to your daughter’s hair. “Did a lot of thinking. A lot of crying.” A moment of laughter came from the TV, his eyes flickered to it. He watched the show just for a second before you began again, his eyes went back to you. “Families don’t go according to plan. When I was a kid, wanting two girls and two boys of my own and a loving husband was my plan; but then you crashed the party and you stomped all over it with the most wonderful little girl I’ve ever met.” You leaned forwards a kissed Winnie’s hair, to which she grumbled as the cereal box kept rustling with her grubby little hands digging out Cheerios. “Nothing I planned for my whole life has ever gone as planned. Adopting my daughter and hoping I’m raising her how her birth mother wants wasn’t a part of my plan. Having a surprise baby while you’re off protecting the world wasn’t a part of the plan.” He squeezed your shoulder. “We wanted another, but it just wasn’t in the cards. We drew a bad hand.”

“Wise girl.” He smiled, moving forwards to press a kiss to the back of your head. “I’ll be fine.”

“You say that.” You murmured. “I don’t want to push you, Si, but I want you to actually be okay. And it’s not an overnight decision-“

“I had a dream about my mum.”

You looked surprised. He has never told you about his dreams, even when she’s waking him from the nightmares which had him screaming.

The weight in his chest was lifted because of that dream, even if he knew she wasn’t real. His mom was dead, but he dreamt and talked to her as if she wasn’t. He couldn’t tell you what he had told his mother in his dream.

“I hope you were able to bring yourself comfort.” Your voice broke him from the memory, head still faced forwards towards Winnie. “There’s no reason to feel ashamed about missing your mom. I miss mine all the time.”

Mellie’s hand gripped what little stubble he had on his chin, he looked down at her. Her eyes that matched his, wide and warm and accompanied by her two toothed smile. His hand gently pushed back her barely their hair that looked like yours, the girl cooed.

“She’s supposed to be talking soon, right?” He mumbled, her little baby nails dug into his chin but he didn’t care. “Keep forgetting to get her to talk.”

“She will when she’s ready.”

Mellie smacked his chin, he frowned at her. She giggled back, the sleeve of her blue onesie riding up her arm.

“Say Dada.” He whispered, the baby furrowed her eyebrows. “Dada.”

“Simon Riley, don’t you be turning her on me.” Your voice held warning, but full of playfulness. He glanced to you, you still faced away. “Her first word is gonna be ‘Mama’ and there will be hell to pay if it isn’t.”

He looked back to the baby on his chest, a sudden clench of his heart made his smile drop. The little baby was looking to you now since she heard your voice.

“I didn’t want him.”

His free hand gently patted his baby’s back, she kept her eyes on her mom.

“I didn’t want our son and I don’t know why.”

There was a moment of silence, save for the TV, where neither of you said a word. He couldn’t look at you.

“Winnie, baby, can you go eat in the dining room for me?” Your voice was soft, Winnie hopped off of the couch, loudly crunching on her Cheerios as she passed by Simon - her hair in two neat little braids. He kept his gaze on his baby, watching as her little smile grew bigger as you turned to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your hand was gentle when it rested on his chest, Mellie’s grip disappeared from his chin, moving to your fingers. The little chunky hands grabbed your pointer finger, trying to pull it to her mouth.

His words failed him as he watched Mellie begin to chew on your finger, you were completely unfazed. How could he have told you? It would’ve only hurt you.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Your head then rested on his shoulder, his hand still patted Mellie’s back. “I don’t need to know, I’m just trying to help you.”

The tears weren’t purposeful, yet they still fell - just short of Mellie’s head. The girl looked up to him, her little eyes widened and she immediately pulled your hand from her sharp teeth. Her little baby hands then smacked themselves onto his face, directly in the way of the streaks of his tears.

“Daddy’s okay, baby.” He whispered, his other hand tried to move her hands from his face, but she let out a grunt in disapproval. “It’s alright.”

You curled your body into his side, arms wrapped around his left arm - head nestled on his shoulder. Silence fell again, his daughter staring directly into his eyes and refusing to move her hands as he silently cried. Her little fingers curled uncurled against his cheeks, little nails scuffing up his face but he didn’t care. He could stay like this forever.

Mellie blinked at him, cooing a little as the tears began to stop. Her eyes grew tired, her hands moved from his face and to his chest, keeping herself sitting up so she could stare at him. She scrunched her nose just like her sister, and without warning, slammed her head into his collarbone. He winced in pain, his only free hand coming to cradle her head.

He’d be lying if he said that he wanted time to keep moving, so he could watch his daughters grow. He just wanted to stay like this, his baby cradled on his chest and just as sassy as her older sister.

“My father,” His voice was quiet, just above a whisper. “He hated that he had boys. Hated that he had children in the first place, never once told me that he loved me. Always told me that he never wanted me.”

Your hands squeezed his arm.

“And I know I told you that I would be okay with a boy, but I don’t think I could look my own son in the face. All I’d see is me, that little boy who was so terrified of his father that he hid in the cabinets for days. The little boy who was forced to watch his father beat his mother.” He took a short breath. “I couldn’t look a carbon copy of myself in the face and act like I loved him, because he would be a reminder of how I failed my family. That I would end up like my father.”

“You’ll never be that fucking bastard.” Your voice was certain, he knew you were looking up at him but he couldn’t move his eyes from Mellie as her little face turned to look at you. “Simon, please, look at me.”

He couldn’t deny you a thing - not in this lifetime, or the next. His head turned, his face looking to you - his heart shattered. There were tears in your eyes, your hands squeezing his arm.

“You never will be like your father,” Hands gripped around his arm, you pulled his arm even further into your chest. “That girl on your chest has never been anything but love from you. Winnie has only ever been loved by you. Have you hit her?”

He stared at you. “No.”

“Would you? Has the thought ever crossed your mind?”

“No.”

“You’re already miles better than him.” Your voice grew softer, your hand moved to rest on his cheek. “And I know you’d never think of hurting me.” The tears stung his eyes, the tiredness that welled in his shoulders began to hurt as you whispered to him, “I know you’re scared of becoming him, but I doubt you ever will. You have so much love to give, Simon. From what I’ve heard, your father only had hurt to give.”

“I don’t ever want to hurt you.” His eyes fluttered closed, leaning his head forward to settle his forehead against yours. “I don’t want to hurt my girls, I just want to love all three of you.”

“That’s all I ask for.”

A little hand smacked his cheek, he opened an eye to look in the direction of Mellie. He opened both of his eyes, pressing a kiss to your forehead before looking to his baby.

“Say Mama.” He spoke, the little baby scrunched her nose again. He smiled through his tears, his eyes flickered up when he saw Winnie creep into view. Her little green bear settled in her arms, she rubbed the back of her hand into her eye. “C’mon, Winnie.”

The chestnut haired little girl instantly climbed her way onto his lap, narrowly avoiding the baby on his chest and plopping in between him and you. You instantly moved your arm around her, grabbing the blanket that was set on the arm of the couch. He helped you with his free hand, pulling the blanket to cover his family.

“I’m proud of you, Si.” You spoke, hand resting on his chest as your arm laid on Winnie’s side. His oldest daughter’s head settled just under yours, you placed a kiss on her head.

Those words made him smile, the tears falling down his face - Mellie looked back up to him after curiously watching you and him cover everyone with the blanket. He pressed a kiss to her face before leaning his head back onto the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You moved one leg over his lap, sleep began to gnaw at his head.

“Daddy.”

“Yeah, Winnie?” He answered.

“That wasn’t me.” He heard Winnie as clear as day, his head shot up to look down at Mellie, who still kept herself sitting up and looking at him - a smile on her little face. He could instantly feel your head pop up from his shoulder.

“Mama.” He said, hushed, “You say Mama, Mellie. Not Daddy.”

“Daddy.” The little baby on his chest cooed, louder this time. “Dada.”

“She said her first word.” You whispered, hand squeezing his arm. “I’m so mad at you for being first.”

“I was rooting for her to say mama too,” He whispered, his hand gently patting Mellie’s back.

“Say Mama, Mellie.” The baby looked to you as soon as you spoke, she stared at you. “She has your staring problem.”

“I know. I kind of feel bad.” He commented as he watched Winnie’s hand reach out to pet her sister’s head, the baby cooed again. Mellie looked back to Simon, her little hand reached back for his face. He pressed a kiss to her hand before letting her grab his stubble again, almost wincing as she pulled on it. “Gentle, Bug.”

“Dada.” Mellie answered, then let go of his chin - settling her head gently on his chest this time.

“I love you, Bug.” He whispered, kissing her head before moving to Winnie, placing a kiss on her head too as he said, “I love you, Duckling.”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek before he could get to you. “I love you.”

He wasn’t sure he could ever live without you.

taglist: @sigynxlokiwifelover @lumpypoll @multitargaryen @chloeforde @blueoorchid @vir-tual @lolis-pikt @theverycelestialgemini @simpingforleoandnico

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[jackmanbj]

happy wife, happy life

summary: your pregnancy mood swings are killing jack, he tried everything to get you happy but everything he tried fails.

requested by a lovely anon!💕

jack had just left the house to go get you some food, you wanted to stay home because this baby was kicking your ass.

jadore went with jack to go get your food so she could get some to.

stinka💕-baby what do you want?

you- i told you, canes.

stinka💕- i know baby, what do you want from canes?

you- oh sorry, can i get a 3 piece please?

stinka💕- of course

you put your phone down and started watching me before you.

not even 10 minutes into the the movie, you in tears, but it was to good to turn off.

jack helped jadore into her seat and placed her food down.

he quickly went to go get you so you can eat.

jack opened the door to seen you crying, eyes still glued to the screen, tissue in one hand and remote in the other.

“baby whats wrong??”

jack made his way over to you and wiped your tears off with his thumb.

“nothing..the movie is so sad though jack..” “baby, lets go eat mmh?” “ok..”

jack helped you up and started helping you make your way down the stairs to jadore and your food.

“whats wrong mommy?”

that made you cry even more, just jadore making sure her mommy was ok made you cry.

jadore noticed you starting to cry once again so she hopped out her set as fast as she could and ran over to hug your leg.

you bet down to pick her up.

“mommys ok sweet girl, lets eat eat?”

“yes!”

you brought jadore back to her seat and your both started eating.

“mm jack this is so good, want some?”

jack walked over a took a huge bit of your food and you just looked at him.

“really jack? i dont even want it anymore.” “baby finish your food!” “no! i dont want it anymore.”

you got up and picked up your phone and started walking back upstairs to watch your movie.

a few minutes later jack walked into the room with the word sorry written on his forehead that looked like it was written by a three year old.

because it was.

“read my forehead babe.”

you looked at his forehead and immediately giggled.

“really? i hope thats washable.”

“it is mamas, now do you forgive me?”

“yes baby boy i forgive you.”

jack had the biggest grin on his face as he walked over to you.

he stood on the side of the bed where you were, arms open.

you quickly got up to hug him.

“jack..”

“yes ma”

“i love you.”

“i love you more baby, more then anything in this fucking world.”

jack leaned down to kiss you and you quickly kissed him back.

jack started rubbing on your stomach, bending down to talk to her and kiss her.

jack planted 3 kisses on you before opening his mouth.

“hi baby, mommy and daddy cant wait to meet you, you’re going to be so spoiled by everybody, i love you so much. you have an amazing mom, sister, and uncles.” jack planted a few more kisses over your stomach before looking up to fine you once again crying.

“babe.”

“im sorry! that was just so sweet!”

jack chuckled and pressed play on your movie.

every once in awhile, sad scenes would come up making you cry but jack would always calm you down.

until the movie ended.

you were right expecting the most happiest ending ever.

but it wasn’t, in fact it was the saddest ending you genuinely ever seen.

and you wouldn’t stop crying, lord knows it was just the baby but jack knew it was hormones and the only way for you to stop crying like this would be for you to go to sleep.

“baby how about you go to sleep.”

you shook your head no then got up and went to the bathroom.

“wheres jadore?”

“taking a nap mamas why?” jack got up and made his way to the doorframe of the bathroom.

“nothing, i was just checking.”

you reached for the shower handle losing your balance but jack was quick to catch you.

“unt unt, mamas go lay down, you can shower later fuck that.”

“jack! i wanna shower now!” “no ‘cause you almost bussed your fucking ass, go to the bedroom.”

jack pointed to the room implying for you to go there.

you simply huffed and rolled your eyes.

at this point, you simply wanted to take your shower and relax, but no.

‘just because i was about to fall doesn’t mean im not capable of taking a fucking shower.’

you thought to yourself as jack finally walked into the bedroom to join you on the bed.

“ma.”

you simply looked at him before pulling out your computer.

jack reached over and took the computer out of your lap and closed it, placing it on his side of the bed.

you quickly pulled on his earlobe.

your nails pressing together slightly as jack whined in pain.

“give me my fucking computer jackman thomas.”

“yes ma’am.”

as soon as you let jack go he reached to grab your computer rubbing his ear in pain.

you took a look at jack to realize he was pouting and rubbing his ear.

“aww come here stinka.”

you pulled jack into your chest as he fake cried.

“jack baby im sorry.”

“you almost killed me!”

“dont you think thats a bit dramatic?”

you moved jack curls out the way exposing that huge forehead and kissed forehead before gently placing them back.

“jack your forehead is huge, i hope sarija doesn’t have a forehead like that, i was so happy when jadore didn’t”

“THATS UNNECESSARY! you know what, i hope they dont have your high. since you know, your 5’5 on a good day.”

jack leaned up to whisper in your ear “its never a good day.”

you push his head off your chest while giggling and jack was full out belly laughing.

“are you finally happy ma? youve been crying all day.”

you quickly pouted.

“im kidding babe.”

jack placed a kiss on your lips and you quickly smiled.

“im going take my shower jack.”

“take it in the morning, lets go to sleep.”

“fine.”

you laid down once again slightly agitated, jack reached over to rub your bump and of course you let him but you let out a angry huff

jack realized you were once again upset but decided to let you sleep and not speak on it.

‘im going to have to deal with this the whole rest of this pregnancy’ jack thought as he kissed your cheek rubbing your belly.

[atinyniki]

stay with me...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with an angsty ending, fluff at the beginning

warnings + additional info: pt 2 of “instant ramen”!, reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, felix is referred to as lix, and lixie, petnames, pregnancy, miscarriage, post-loss depression, crying, vomiting, death.

authors note: all i can say is sorry. i dont know why exactly i thought of this but im planning on making a pt 3. hopefully this doesnt break your heart :( ending was a bit rushed bc i didnt feel like crying anymore :( this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2407

(pt. 1) || (pt. 3)

HUGE TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: miscarriage, pregnancy, blood, and the pain that goes along with it.

“lixieee im home!”

you came home with such a big smile on your face. you were a little grumpy about work, your mood swings not making things any better, and you felt a little sick. nonetheless, you were still excited to come home to your boyfriend.

“hey pretty! i’m making some brownies, just give me a bit yeah? they’ll be done in 20”

you walk over to him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and thanking him before leaving to your room to go shower. 

throwing off your clothes, you enter the shower rather quickly, hoping that it will refresh you enough. you run the vanilla shampoo through your hair, the feeling of the bubbles running down your back relaxing you. 

all of a sudden, the scent of vanilla hits your nose, an uneasy feeling washing over you. you finish your shower as fast as you can, putting on your clothes and then rushing out the bathroom. maybe you were just hungry?

“hey lix”, you said with a weak smile, sitting down at the table where he was waiting with leftovers from yesterday and his brownies. 

“hey angel, you hungry now?”

“mhm…”

he dumps the food out onto your plates, but you grab a brownie before even looking at the food. felix’s brownies could never get old. you take a bite, the warm fudge practically melting in your mouth.

you enjoyed the brownie, and felix began to pick one up, when suddenly your eyes went wide. the same terrible feeling was back, except stronger now. you tried to fight it by swallowing the part of the brownie that was already in your mouth.

the feeling didn’t leave, and you found yourself scrambling to your feet to stand up. “baby… what’s wrong?”

you couldn’t answer, afraid that the bits of your brownie would end up on him, and instead ran to the kitchen sink. felix made sure to follow behind just as fast. the second you got to the sink, you were letting go. 

felix watched as you vomited out the brownie and the rest of the food you had today, quickly grabbing your hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. his other hand ran soothing circles around your back, hoping to calm you down.

you threw up with such force that bile shot out your nose, felix now becoming even more concerned. once you’ve calmed down and washed your face, felix finally speaks up. “let’s get you to bed baby.���, he sighs lightly.

he quickly picks you up bridal style, setting you down on your bed carefully. you let out a little whine when felix left, but quickly returned with an emergency bucket. “just in case”, he said with a sweet smile.

he brought the hair dryer from the bathroom, not wanting you to get sick from the cold, and quickly blow dried your hair. he didnt work on styling it, wanting you to get rest as soon as possible.

he quickly runs to grab you a jug of warm water to place on your tummy. you loved that he was so attentive to you, especially on days he was back at home. “i love you lix. i’m sorry for what happened”

“it’s not like you could control it dummy, go to sleep now. i love you”

that morning, felix woke up to an empty bed. the bucket next to you was filled to the brim with bile, felix instantly darting to the bathroom. his heart broke seeing you on the floor, vomiting into the toilet as you shook violently.

he quickly held your hair back again, rubbing the soft part of your tummy to soothe it. “baby what’s going on? did you eat something?”

you shook your head, not trusting your own words in case vomit came out instead. you’re tired, completely worn out. it feels like all the energy in your body has just left you. 

suddenly, a wave of realization comes over you, and you begin to panic. you’re constantly vomiting. you have terrible mood swings. you didn’t get your period. everything lines up perfectly.

your breaths become labored, soon becoming large gasps for breath. “felix- i…”

he begins to become extremely worried. “what baby? what’s wrong?”

“i…”; you can’t go on. you’re exhausted. it’s the last thing you remember saying before you black out, almost falling into the toilet if felix weren’t holding you back right now. 

“shit- y/n? stay with me okay? i’m calling an ambulance.” 

felix struggled to stay calm, tears running down his face as he tried to stop his voice from quivering. “my girlfriend, she needs help. she’s been vomiting like crazy and- she’s passed out right now”, he said it so fast the dispatcher almost couldn’t understand him.

the ambulance was at your house within minutes, felix holding you in his arms again while he waited. he could still feel your breath fanning over his neck, a sense of comfort washing over him. quickly, you guys took off to the hospital.

“felix?” 

“oh god baby! you’re awake? are you feeling okay?”

your head hurt a little, and you were incredibly confused, but you decided to tell him anyways. it was probably important. “my head hurts a little bit, but that’s okay” 

he holds your hand, clutching tightly, afraid there’s actually something wrong.

the doctor opens the door, sitting on one of the chairs next to where all the machines are hooked up. “okay so, we’ve figured out why you’ve been vomiting so much.”, she pauses.

felix is practically squirming in his seat, afraid for the words about to come out of her mouth. “congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

all of a sudden, his hand lets go, instead using it to slap it over his mouth to conceal his squeals. you jerk your head towards him, afraid of his reaction until you see the tears in his eyes and his bright smile.

you smile back, turning to the doctor who hands you a paper with an article about pregnancy and the symptoms that go along with it. “thank you so much”

“of course, the release forms are at the front desk. call if you need anything. once again, congratulations you two”, she says with a smile.

once she leaves, felix couldn’t hold back, kissing your face practically everywhere. “oh my gosh! y/n!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. you were so happy he wasn’t upset or anything. you’ve been wanting to start a family with him for as long as you could remember, but you’re not even married yet. 

suddenly, your thoughts hit you like a boulder. “felix… what about the media. what do we tell everyone” 

he paused for a moment, he didn’t even think about that aspect of it. “i’ll call them. i’ll call management. if they say it’s not acceptable then fuck it. i’ll quit my job. don’t worry about them, please?”

you smile at felix’s dedication for you. you knew he was going to be such an amazing father.

“wait seriously?! she’s pregnant?”, changbin giggled excitedly.

“seriously. she’s pregnant!”

felix is at the dorms right now with the boys, and he couldn’t be any happier telling them about it. management was very happy for him and understanding of his situation, but he didn’t want to release it to the media just yet.

it’s nearing your third month now, your exhaustion becoming more unbearable by the second. you believed you could push through it though, waiting patiently for felix on the bed.

felix makes it home that night in an exceptionally happy mood. he smothers your face in millions of kisses, holding your hands tight and giggling into your neck. “i love you so much. i can’t wait for our little sprout”

it was difficult to keep his excitement contained around you, but he knew he didn’t have to. you are just as excited as he is.

you slice open the cake, a myriad of pink candies falling out the center. you were so excited to have your baby girl, you could already predict how well she and felix would get along.

“see?! she’s a girl. i knew it.”, seungmin said smugly.

“shut up, we get it. you were the only one that predicted she’s a girl anyways”, jisung replies, jokingly aggrivated.

“yeah, meaning i’m also the only one that was right”, he retorts with a wink.

jisung rolls his eyes, moving to you to give you a hug. it felt awkward hugging all the boys with a baby bump in the way, but it wasn’t all that big yet, so it wasn’t too bad. you continued having fun at the party, singing with the boys the entire time.

you’re so happy your girl is being born into such a good world. you’re lucky all the boys love you so much, you know they’ll all be amazing to your little sprout.

minho looked at you with an incredulous look on his face. “so you want me to make you tteokbokki, but instead of gochujang you want me to use… nutella?”

“i told you man, her pregnancy cravings are fucking crazy”, felix chimes in.

you quickly nod at minho, who instantly gets up to prepare it for you. there’s not a lot that minho wouldn’t do for you or your daughter, considering the fact that you’re best friends already. 

“so did you just call me here to cook because felix sucks at anything without a recipe?”

“for the most part yeah”, you let out a giggle. felix walks over to you, kissing you again and peppering them all over your face. a particularly loud groan leaves his lips, and minho jerks his head towards you both.

felix gets off you not too long after, but only to wrap you in a hug from behind, holding your bump up to ease the weight of her. minho visibly gagged at the sight of you two, “okay can you guys stop making out and actually talk to me now? i don’t feel like third wheeling”, he joked.

all three of you began to laugh, you were so excited to start this new chapter with felix.

fuck. what is happening? why does your heart feel so heavy? why do you feel so uneasy. maybe you’re just upset, you’re fine right? you sit on the bed, watching some edits of felix- your guilty pleasure.

all of a sudden, a sharp pain hits your gut. you groan out in pain, tears flooding your eyes. you begin to get up, trying your best to make it to the bathroom. you’re suddenly throwing up again, and you didn’t think anything of it since it was pretty normal. 

once you clean yourself up a little, you make your way back to the bed. the sharp pain hit you again, this time making you sink to the floor as you clutch your stomach. “fuck…” 

the feeling in between your thighs becomes uneasy, becoming excruciatingly painful. you feel something dripping down your thighs, taking a quick look at it. there’s a pool of blood dripping down onto the hardwood floor, when the pain comes back.

the tears leave your eyes in heavy sobs. you can’t pick yourself back up, the pain becoming unbearable. you’re too weak to make it anywhere, so you try to scream.

you attempts fail, crawling to the bed to grab your phone. you didn’t make it in time. your body gave out on you, blood pouring out from you. you didn’t want to die. you just wanted your sprout. why did this is have to happen?

“y/nnie! i’m home!”

your head jerked up in the direction of the door. you let out a guttural scream. “felix… h-help… please…”

your voice got weaker, not even being able to find the strength to talk. felix rushes to your room, and the world around him stopped. his heart shattered in his chest, immediately calling an ambulance.

“baby… no! stay with me… please. deep breaths okay? you’ll be okay.”

he listened to the dispatcher for instructions on how to help, your eyes slowly fluttering shut. you’re too weak to carry on.

you woke up in the hospital, your baby bump suddenly gone. you touched around your tummy, looking for your little sprout. you noticed felix right next to you, eyes red and incessant tears pouring down his face.

he’s trembling as he grabs your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. “if i had just gotten there sooner-“

“no felix i… im so sorry. i failed you… i failed our sprout.”, loud sobs filled the room, not being able to contain your emotions anymore. you had lost her for good. she was gone. 

“it’s… not your fault. rest now okay? you lost a lot of blood. we can talk in the morning” 

he gave you a quick kiss to your forehead, and you shut your eyes. the sleep never came.

you and felix are in bed again, just like you always were. but things were different now. everything felt empty, depressing. you felt empty. you didn’t have your sprout with you.

felix asked to go on hiatus now, wanting to be there for you in every moment. he became hyper-attentive towards you, scared that you might go down a bad path.

the miscarriage took a toll on him just as much as it did you, except you were focusing on the physical parts more. felix watched at night as you stared at your own bare breasts after a shower, producing milk for a baby that wasn’t even growing inside of you anymore. you ran your fingers along your many stretch marks, the skin on your tummy becoming flabby and soft. 

you felt ugly. felix was still there to reassure you through everything, but you didn’t know what to do. you blankly stare at your messages from time to time, getting many from your family, close friends and the boys, checking up on you frequently.

felix doesn't know what to do anymore. he doesn't know if he can live with the pain, knowing what could’ve been. it hurts you even more to see felix like this. the sunshine in him has been dulled out, the only thing left are his eyes, swirling with only pain now. 

the guiltiness overtook you most nights, felix holding you tight as you both cried again and again. you haven’t slept properly since it happened. seven fucking months.

so close, yet so far.

</3

[chrissturniolosbitch]

WORK

a/n- this is a cute short lil smut!

summary- y/n has a bad day at work, then comes home to a messy house and shit goes down.

another a/n- most my shit is short and straight to the point... get used to it!! and ily 🎀

--------------------------------------------------------

Today has been a stressful day. All day at work people were being such assholes to me, even my co-workers, and boss. i just wanted to cry.

I knew i couldnt just leave, so i had to go a whole shift listening to everyone bitch and complain about how much i suck.

I just wanted to go home and be with my boyfriend.

When i got off work, i sped home. I knew i just needed Chris. But, nothing today was going good for me.

I pulled into the driveway, and went to the front porch. As soon as i unlocked the door i saw chris, he was just sitting there playing fortnite while the house was still a mess. He had all day to clean up for me, and i even asked him to, 'Why.. Just why.' i think to myself as i started to crazy clean,

"y/n? Hey baby!" I ignored him and continued to clean, "What wrong? Are you okay?" He said trying his best to put 2 and 2 together. I lost it in that moment everything today just sucked.

"Christopher i fucking asked you to clean before i got home. Is this all you do? all fucking day while i slave away at work you just play fortnite?" I said holding back the tears that wanted to spill out of my eyes.

Chris frowned.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a spray bottle so i could wipe down the counters when chris decided to speak again, "Im really sorry baby.. i know youre frustrated and im seriously really, really sorry y/n"

He said a he slowly opened his arms, and started walking twards me, "No! chris dont fucking touch me im not in the mood right now!" I warned him, but he still walked twards me with his arms out.

When he finally got to me he wrapped his arms around me tightly, no matter how much a tried to get out he always knew how to calm me down, "Its okay baby, im here for you. Ill always be here for you." He said petting my head, squeezing me tight.

In that moment i bursted into tears. I cried, and cried, and cried.

"Please chris im sorry, today has been such a stressful day, everyone just hates me, and acts like im a lazy peice of shit, im so sorry chris pl-" I said sobbing into his chest leaving his shirt wet, when chris suddenly cut me off, "Its okay y/n. And i dont know what there talking about, you are the most hardworking, independent woman i know!" Chris said trying to make me feel better.

For the rest of the day chris, and i
cuddled, watched movies, ate dinner, and showered.

After we got out of the shower chris took off my robe leaving me bare, i shivered at the cold touch of the air hitting my skin, "Wow. You are so beautiful ma" Chris said scanning my body, "I think youre petty handsome myself!" I said pulling chris in for a kiss, the kiss started of slow, when suddenly chris gabbed my waist, and slipped his tongue into my mouth.

I tried my hardest to fight for dominance, but Chris obviously won.

Chris pulled away and suddenly pushed me onto the bed, "chris." I said giving him doe eyes, "I know baby." He said pulling his towel off his waist, his dick was already hard with precum dripping out off his tip, and down the sides.

I scotted back on the bed opening my legs to let chris know im ready. He looked me in my eyes for approval and i just nodded, "Words baby, speak up" He said innocently, "Yes fuck chris, plea-" Before i could even finish my sentence chris punded his dick into me, I moaned at this sensation, and started to cried from pain, and pleasure, "fuck christopher" i practically screamed grabbing onto his biceps.

Chris kept on slamming into me at an ungodly speed, "ngh. ughh" I said unable to get my words out, "Do you like this baby? huh? do i make you feel that good you cant even speak?" Chris said chuckling, "Yes chris you make m-me fuck.. fell s-s-so good ugh" i said barley able to get my simple sentence out.

I felt a familiar knot start to for in my stomach when chris suddenly started to slam directly into my g-spot, "FUCK! please chris dont stop im so close" I said about to release, "I wont stop baby, i got you. Always" He said as he started pound even faster and harder into me.

I felt my legs start to shake, when suddenly i released all over chris, "fuck baby can i cum in you?" Chris asked looking you in the eyes, "yes please fill me with your babys" His eyes widened as he grunted out my name and busted a whole load inside of me.

i let chris stay inside of me untill he softened up.

"thank you chris, for always making me feel good" I said pulling him in for another kiss, while he started to pull out.

"always mama" he said kissing my back.

[celefrfr]

hiii!! can i get an angst to comfort joost fic where the reader is just having a really hard time lately w everything. like family, work, and just everything in general is stressing her/them out so they get really distant bc they feel bad about burdening joost and joost jusr shows up at their apartment and is like “why” and they break down in tears and it ends all fluffy?

February i almost died.

notes: this is actually a bit gotten from a real story, i removed the happy part of it , made parts different , and i just added joost lol, im good now, dont villanize my mom, she was very sad too because she knew i was always crying, shes a good person

summary: literally look at the request 👍

relationship:joost×fem!reader

WARNING! theres a part where Y/N commits sh (head banging)

Reader was always a very clingy person to Joost, always texting him, asking him to hang out, going to restaurants, but, november came, her mental health started to go down, she felt lonely, like nobody wanted her, like she was a burden, she never spoke, whenever she did she'd get ignored, she always argued with her parents, she made each of them cry at least once, she was guilty, she was close to running away from everyone and never coming back, the only thing stopping her was that she didnt have any money to use, one day, she was in her room listening to music, bawling her eyes out, in fetal position,her mom came in, she kinda screamed "go shower, and do your room." her voice cold "CANT YOU SEE HOW DOING RIGHT NOW?" Y/N screamed back "Y/N, youre never happy." her mom left and closed the door, Y/N got up, and slammed her head into the wall twice, she got white flashes each time, joost lived in an apartment, attached to hers, he could hear the banging, the crying, the screaming, as Y/N was pacing back and forth in her room just crying, joost was trying to find her , she didnt want to be a burden to him, so she ran to a public bathroom and just cried there, her eyes were already puffy from the day before since she cried everyday, when she calmed down, she went back to her house and into her room, just to find joost talking with her parents, he was almost screaming, arguing "YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER IS ON THE VERGE OF KILLING HERSELF OR RUNNING AWAY AND WHAT DO YOU DO? OH YEAH, LETS SCREAM AT HER A BIT MORE, MAYBE SHE WILL BE HAPPY, WHERE IS YOUR COMMON SENSE?" he yelled, her dad yelled back "SHE TRIES TO MAKE HERSELF A VICTIM,SHE NEVER LISTENS" joost didnt even answer, he noticed her rooms door closing so he ran and found her on her bed, staring into nothingness "what happened?" he asked, his tone concerned, he was almost gonna cry too, Y/N didnt answer, she just fell into his arms,crying, she showed him the mark of her head on the wall to him, he didn't say anything, he just packed her bags and got her to his house, made her favorite tea, atleast attempted to, since it was an ethnic recipe, put it near his bed, and got with her, trying to comfort her, he held her to his chest, she gave him a faint kiss on the cheek, the stubble hurting her face a bit, she didnt care, since it was him "Why didnt you tell me anything?" he asked "i didnt want to be a burden to you." she answered, he didnt say anything, just hugged her, he saw her eyes getting heavy, almost falling asleep on him, she looked so cute but so miserable, the only things keeping her alive were him and her phone, he kissed her, and told her "just know that if you even ran away i would find you and come with you.", the period of her life that went from november to february finally ended, she was there, felt happy, loved, for once.

[msxrik]

MORE MASACRIK SMUT?? YALL WERE BEGGING FOR THIS I SWEARR.

ill never get tired of this man i swear.

Nsfw under the Cut

Someone asked for the Elevator man Masacrik so i delivered. This one may be a little more toxic guys dont cancel me. also my req's r open!!!

Warnings: porn with little plot. Not read proof. Stalking, toxic behavior, dubcon, mentally ill reader istg, drugging, aphrodisiac used, stalker!masacrik, yandere, kidnapping, mention of needles (onky one time) oral, blood kink, squirting,

It was a normal day. You just checked in the new dorm you got and oh boy it was perfect. Too perfect. It was clean and tidy but.... you had that awful feeling of being watched. Ever since you met that guy in the reception. Masacrik? Was his name. You know the one that makes sure everything's fine in the building. He was also responsible for the elevator there. It was old and rusty so you thought it was normal that he got in there with you. You could swear that you still felt his eyes on yourself even after locking the door.

You unpacked then took a shower, it was a long day so you wanted to rest. There were vending machines in the lobby so you decided to go there and get yourself a snack. It was too late to go to a store anyway.

When you walked out of your room you jumped. As the elevator was already on your floor. Open. It was empty. But the moment you stepped inside you felt someone behind you. There he was. His tall figure hoovering over you as you slowly turn around.

-Hello miss. Where are you headed at this ungodly hour?

You could recall his face from somewhere but you had no idea from where

-uhm. I was just. Going to buy something from the vending machines down stairs.

-Ah. I was making sure everyone's in their dorms by now.- he said as he pressed some buttons and the elevator moved with an ungodly screetch.

-im sorry i didnt want to cause trouble.

-its nothing dear. Just get what you want and lets hop you back upstairs shall we?

You felt your heart skip a beat. As you were deciding on the food you want. You looked up at the reflection in the glass of the vending machine. it hit you like a bus. You've seen him. Yesterday. And the day before. He always was near you. Following you around the town. You felt a shiver run up your spine as you were deciding what you should do. As you were ready to take off to the exit he grabbed you by your hand pulling you close to him. One of your hands was now on his shoulder. And one of his on your waist. You blushed a little. Yes he scared you. But he was so handsome. And his embrace was nothing but comfort for some reason.

-I've finally caught you sweetheart- he purred as the elevator doors closed and he sat down pulling you on his lap.

You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

-oh honey-his tone was so sweet it made you melt into his embrace- dont cry. We're going to be happy. I'm the only person you'll ever need alright? I'll treat you well sweetheart. Not like the other people in your life

Tears started rolling down your face as he was telling you about the smallest details of your day to day life for like 2 years back into the pass.

Was this scary? Really. But did somewhere in that twisted deprived mind of yours you found this cute? Also yes. Nobody cared about you that much as he did. You lost yourself in thought as you felt his cold hand brush away your tears. Then the elevator Stopped and he pulled you into his room. As you walked in the only thing you saw where pictures

A t o n of pictures.

-Pardon the mess princess-he said looking for something.

You looked around a tad shocked. Then you felt a sharp sting in your neck and everything went black.

You woke up in some room. You didn't recognize it. The thing you did recognize tho was the warm embrace of the man behind you. You turned around to look at him

-where are we..?

-somewhere no one will find you doll. You hungry? You were out cold for two days.-he said Giggling

-a bit

He picked you up carrying you to the kitchen. Then gave you some food and then some weird looking pills

-for the headache. Trust me Baby- he purred at you

You DID take them. And when you were washing your hands you felt them kick in. The warmth spreading through your body as you gripped onto the sink. You felt so woozy you barely walked out of the bathroom.

-Doll could you come here please?

You did. You aren't that stupid you wouldn't disobey him he was being so nice to you. You came up to him and he made you sit in his lap

-You know i love you dearly sweetheart right? -he whispered into your ear stroking your head.

You only nodded smiling like a fool

-That's why you trust me right?

His hand started stroking your inner thigh going a little under your skirt. Then you felt a tingle in your lower stomach. You got so aroused that you shivered all over. Was that normal..?

-Right...-your breath hitched. Nothing mattered to you at that point. You didn't know him at all. But he knew you. More than you knew yourself. You leaned into his touch shifting in place

-needy are we?

You nod trying to roll your hips against his fingers

-A aah don't move. -his hand held you in place as the other one was creeping up your thigh. Just to gently brush over your clothed pussy. Rubbing your clit gently as you spread your legs more resting them on the comforters of the armchair.

-mhmm~ i will make you feel good. I know how you touch yourself.. -He purred into your ear as you blushed.

And he did know. the moment he took off your panties two of his long fingers were inside of you. And his thumb was rubbing your most sensitive part.

You moaned. the aphrodisiac in your veins making you way more sensitive to his touch. You were putty in his hands.

-if you'll be a good little girl ill reward you. So obey.

He lowered his pants making you palm his dick through his boxers You did and oh. The reward? He had you sit at the edge of the armchair with your legs spread as he ate you out. Him, in front of you on his knees. As you tug and pull on his soft red hair. You cried his name as the coil in your lower stomach was threatening to snap really fast.

-Im.. uhg~! -you threw your head back as you felt the sharp pain in your thigh. His nails dig into your thighs drawing blood from them as he smeared it all over you. Making you snap. You came all over his face and he drank every last drop of it. He did not stop, making you shake and close your legs trying to make him pull away.

That was your greatest mistake. He looked up at you his face coated in blood and your cum.

-Get up. Now.

You did. You tried.. actually your legs were giving out. He sat down there pulling you to his lap again this time lining his hard dick with your entrance.

-wha-wait b-but..

-You'll handle this. -he said as he lowered you on himself. You grasped at his hands whining

- 's too big.. fuck.. wai-MnGh!~

-i Told you you'll live. Now behave love i would hate hurting you.

After a moment of discomfort you relaxed the aphrodisiac taking over your mind again. He was scratching that itch you had deep inside you forever. He kept a steady pace as he whispered into your ear

-look down princess you see how well you're taking me? Fuck i love you so much baby you're so good ugh~ -he moaned tightening the grip he had on you.

-mnGh~ i needed t-this.. uhghh..~ -you purred out. The sweet words of affection spilling from you as he gets more worked up from each and every one.

He quickened the pace losing himself inside you. Chasing his own high. He started hitting that one spot. It made you want to squirm away with only a few hits he had you cumming on the spot but when he kept hitting it not caring about your cries of overstimulation he made you squirt. And the sound you made and the feeling of your slick and cum running down both if you dragged him over the edge. He came inside not caring to pull out.

You both tried to calm your breathing as you curled up on his chest hugging him. After a moment of comfortable silence you sleepily asked

-what if they come looking for me?

-No one will look for you, and no one will ever find you have me and i have you. Not a single soul more kitty, now sleep -He said as he picked you up to wash you up a little and carry you to bed.

And you do, you do fall asleep hugging him tightly.

Rmemeber. He Love's you deeply~

//////////////

THANK YOU GUYS FOR SUCH ACTIVITY OMG

[thesadboisguidetolife]

My sweet angel @iamanimaginarybeing tagged me to post a selfie and answers some questions so here we go!!

Had to pull the shirt down because these trunks leave NOTHING to the imagination lol also because this shirt is one of my favorites

Are you named after anybody? I was actually given my name BECAUSE my mom didnt want me to have the "family name" lol

Do you have any kids? i do! i dont talk about it much though because its not my place to put out my kids info like that unless they're comfortable with it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooooooooo. Not at aaaalllllll.

When was the last time you cried? Oh babe, i cry a good amount lol. there was a post i reblogged about the guy who went back to retake this picture in this old timey place that had me misty eyed. If we're talkin like haaaard cry..... a couple of weeks ago my depresso got kinda bad and i had me a little cry in the shower. but im good now 🥰

Whats the first thing you notice about people? oh God im gonna come across SUPER LA but, the vibes. Whether someones timid, loud, how they talk, body language, just the whole thing.

Eye Color? Brownish?!?! Ive been told i have little bits of green in them but please don't look into my eyes. I get embarrassed and feel uncomfortable in a comforting way if that makes ANY sense at all

What sports do you/have you played? Soccer and Basketball in teams growing up. Nothing much other than that lol

Any Special Talents? I can knit, crotchet, play guitar, bass, ukulele, im decent with a sewing machine, i can cook, i would like to think that im getting better at photography, i can pop my left shoulder out of my socket (?) haha this ones hard for me.

Where were you born? In the Antelope Valley, Southern California.

Scary Movies or happy endings? Scary Movies WITH Happy Endings. FUCK The Strangers. I love/hate that movie so much and i know it goes against my answer because it has one of thee most fucked up endings but.....damn lol

Do you have any pets? 2 cats

How Tall are you? a humble 5'6". lol

Favorite subject in school? Cooking, followed by French, followed by Weight Training lol

Dream Job? Cook at the Queer Commune lol honestly, i think im currently working on something id LOVE to do till the end of time but we'll see. I dont want to jinx it

Imma tag @sucker-for--anything-acoustic @campcrow2 @adamsmasher @floofiest-doof @beast-0f-lavendertown @circle-of-power @odeada-nightspawn @jambos6 @spider-boy1989 @skiingcows @snikt-yip @penismage @traumadumpling @chibi-masshuu @kaleidoscope-cosmic-power for now 🥰

[oscpaistry]

Misunderstood.

You and Kylian have been in a relationship for 4 years now. But you feel unheard and misunderstood by him. The media is causing you two stress and argument. At one moment Kylian had enough and he thought it would be the best if you two broke up. But all you wanted from him is to be heard and understood. You went out off the house and told the whole media that your taking a long break and why. About your mental health and much more.

Kylian and you were finally back home from the red carpet. Kylian was scrolling through his phone while you were changing out off your dress.

"Are you actually fucking serious?" You hear Kylian telling himself.

"Whats wrong Kylian?" You ask him while coming into the room he was in.

"Tell me the truth Y/n. Im sick and tired of the lies." He says with a stern voice.

"What do you mean Kylian? What have i done this time?" You say with a sigh in your breath.

"I saw on Instagram that your mental health is at risk again!" He says with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

You sigh. "It is Kylian. Im so stressed and mentally drained. I dont have any motivation to do anything at this point. And i-" you tried to say but he spoke through your sentence.

"Pff Y/n. Don't be so dramatic. You have it simple. You only have to sit at home, do the groceries, model, get clothes, get your nails done and much more." He says while laughing at you.

You look down and feel something in your throat. It feels like you can't swallow.

"Mhm" you say and go back to the bathroom.

"Okay if you wanna act like that and act as if you have so many problems go ahead. Be my guest. But not in my house Y/n. Go somewhere else and cry about it. I dont have time for it. And besides. I dont see your stress and see that your sad or some shit." He says while throwing and bag at you.

Your eyes started to swell up and you pick up the bag. You pack some stuff and went downstairs. You took a glas of water and drank it before you left. You two didnt speak in those 30 minutes of packing. You grabbed your car keys and went outside to go in your car.

You went to a hotel somewhere in Paris. You asked for a room for one. The front desk lady gave you the room card 267. You went up with the lift and went onto your phone. You left the lift and went to your room.

At the end of the hall you see room 267. You entered and as soon you saw the bed you just feel into it and cried.

Your eyes were already swollen and red from crying.

Your phone was going off none stop. You check it and see texts from Neymar, Achraf, Messi and Ramos. They were asking why you were acting like this and were shaming you. You sighed at the messages. Those people were the ones you trusted with your heart. And then in one snap they turn their back at you. It broke you into million pieces. You decided to post on Instagram that you were taking a break bcs off your mental health. This is what it said in your post.

"Hey guys, there is something i want to clear up and say. So the media is spreading rumors around of me. Those are completely not true and are lies. Kylian saw those posts. And because of those posts Kylian and i are having alot of arguments. Im not at Kylian's right now. That doesnt really matter right now. But those posts have me giving stress. But ive been already suffering with bipolar disorder. Ive been so mentally drained fir he past few months it isnt really okay anymore. I havent got any motivation to do anything anymore. Im physically so exhausted. Ill be taking a break from social media for now. I dont know for how long. I hope you guys understand. I love you guys. Im sorry."

You read it again and again. You took a deep breath and posted it. You put your phone in the drawer and went to unpack and to take a shower.

After the shower you went to change. You heard the vibrations from your phone. You went to grab your phone and saw texts off Kylian, Neymar and Messi.

"Sorry Y/n. I didnt know you were struggling with all that."

That is what Neymar, Kylian and Messi texted you. You sigh and leave them on read...

[melshome]

hii~ congrats on 89 followers ^-^ 💓 I REALLY LOVE UR WRITING i can't wait for your account to grow even more

can i request scenario where reader feels like they are not good enough for scara so they TRY breaking up or smth basically angst with a good ending 🗿

helllooo!! thank you so much 😭💗 im so happy and glad to have support from you 💗💗 i tried my best as im.. well.. not that good with angst.. but since its for you, a follower, i tried my very best !! ⚈ ̫ ⚈ i hope you guy's weeks go well ❤❤

[also very sorry this is a late upload.. i was hoping to upload it yesterday but i was busy (┬┬﹏┬┬)]

cw fluff, angst character scaramouche

even though scaramouche may seem to be a rude, ignorant person, he's actually very kind and considerate to you, his girlfriend.

you dont ask for it, but he helps you when he can

he checks up on you when you're just a bit too quiet

scaramouche.. just cares about you, so much, it makes you feel so special

but you feel as though.. you're not.. good enough to be his girlfriend..?

the thing you've done for him are.. well..

making his lunch for work, baking things for & with him.. and some other things couples usually do

but you just feel like.. its not enough, compared to the things he does for you.

he does so much more meaningful things

maybe.. we should break up?

scaramouche comes back home to find the house quiet

usually he finds you baking up something or watching some sort of drama on tv

he drops his shoulder laptop bag onto the ground, and rushes through the house, searching for you

"[your name]?!"

he goes into the bedroom, and finds it in a mess

clothes and things everywhere, with a half open suitcase and the closet half open

"you stupid little idiot.."

scaramouche rushes out of the apartment, calling the place, where he immediately knew where you went to.

he grumbles, before banging on the door.

"childe, let me in right now."

the door opens and stands there is childe with a hoodie and sweatpants on

"do you need anything, ScArAmOucHiE?"

childe pinches scaramouche's cheek, before scara pushes childe's arm away and storms into the house

he walks up to childe's bedroom, and sighs.

"[your name]. can you please let me in?"

no reply. you didn't want to reply. you were too scared of what scaramouche was going to say to you when you open it.

"at least.. please tell me what i did wrong.. and i'll fix my mistake."

he sounded so.. desperate to see you. he really.. sounded sincere when he said he'll fix his mistake.

"you didn't do anything wrong," you say, wiping your nose on your sleeve.

"then what's wrong? we can fix it together,"

scaramouche places his hand on the handle when you didnt reply for a few minutes

he slowly walks in to find you standing up, about to open the door

you freeze, embarrassed

"[your name]. just remember that i'll..."

scaramouche looks to the side, wondering how to word it.

should i say.. 'i'll love you whatever you do' or..

you run up to him and hug him as you start crying again

"i dont know.. i just feel like.." you start, before scaramouche gently puts his arms around you

"w-well..cry for.. as long as you want to.. i'll be here.. waiting until you're ready to head back home.."

EXTRA

the both of you went back home, after drinking some tea childe offered

you said yes, and of course, then had scaramouche said yes

on the drive back home, with all the windows open, you explained to scaramouche why you were crying. why you ran to childe's house

all scaramouche did was listen, he didnt speak at all, not even when you both came back home.

you showered first, then scaramouche.

once in bed, scaramouche pulled you towards him.

"dont think those stuff [your name]. if i didnt want to be with you, i wouldnt be with you in the first place."

you rolled around to face him, before snuggling into his chest, falling asleep.

[mattyssluttt]

And it’s not even like you?

Matt sturniolo x reader.

:))

-Matt soft-

So your running late…

The time going past on your phone screen as you sat in the restaurant waiting for you boyfriend for this ‘date’ that HE organised not me HIM! And he fuckin’ forgets again.

All because of his stupid youtube career,what about me? hm,i have no attention now.

You had enough texting him.

To:Mattt🙏🏼❤️

Where tf ru matt!?!

I sent with frustration,i was angry but i wanted to cry,i held it in,ding! I looked down at my screen.

From:Mattt🙏🏼❤️

im lit at party with chris nd nick,influencer party?

And its not even like you..

To:Mattt🙏🏼❤️

So not at your ‘date’ u fuckin’ organised,again matt.You ignore our date for a fuckin party filled with whores??Fuck you.

Warm,salty liquid running down my face combined with the mascara i wore.

From:Mattt🙏🏼❤️

Well i forgot. ok?Just stop yapping at me 24/7.

To:Matthew.

wtv.

I sobbed,yanking my stuff,storming to my car throwing the stuff in.

From:Matthew.

k.

You were doing so well…

I just started driving back home,the triplets house unfortunately i got undressed leaving myself bare,turning on the shower thats connected to mine and matt’s bedroom.

The warm water trickled down my body,soap covering my hair,i washed my hair throughly letting out a big sigh.

I heard the front door shut as i breathed out but a shaky breath came out.

I heard laughs from downstairs. Drunk laughs.

I huffed drying myself and getting ready into my pjs quickly,even if i did hate matt at the moment hes still my boyfriend,i need to look after him when he is drunk.

I went downstairs then stopped as i saw matt trying to get up the stairs but nearly falling.

Cm’on

I tried to pull him upstairs making our way to the bedroom letting him collapse on the bed.

Mhm as-lo?

I looked at him dumbfounded,hes just mumbling.

Mhm matt.

I took his airforces off along with his shirt and his jeans,leaving him in his boxers then tucked him into bed.

I next him on his side,well hardly i was sat on the edge.

I looked at him,god i can’t he’s too i dont even know.

I softly stroked his hair out of his face.

I cant help myself..

I kissed his nose as he flinched slightly,scrunching up his nose.

I giggled,he looks so cute when he does.

No. You’re mad at him shut up.

I can’t stay mad at him.

I don’t want to lose him

You know you’re just saying that..

Oh matty,what am i going to do.

I sniffled quietly,i felt that wash of sadness come over me.

I let out a sob quickly then slapped my hands over my mouth,sitting against our bedroom door thats near matts side of the bed.

looking at him then down to the floor at my feet,sobbing to myself.

I heard a groan,trying to shut my self up.

Too Late.

Y/N?

If i spoke id cry so i just hummed in response.

He got out of bed sitting next to me.

I am sorry about today,i dont even remember sending them texts,just Chris wants us to go to parties all the time so we do then i get drunk and get angry with you.

Whats that supposed to mean?

He huffed,looking at me while i looked at the floor,his eyes burned into me.

Y/N.. I-i..

He pulled me closer to him,wrapping me in his embrace.

Sobs.

Thats all could be heard.

Sobs from one another.

Even though i did hate him sometimes i love him too much.

I Do Not Want To Lose Him.

[webginz]

i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.

well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)

im so scared :(

[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]

then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead

okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.

she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.

after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)

she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD

im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!

whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.

she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)

but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)

ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.

so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")

she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.

at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)

so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!

she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!

i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!

im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.

the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.

i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???

god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.

every things going wrong today and forever

pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting

[jackmanbj]

only for you

18+ smut!

AN: this is my very first smut fic, EVER! so i apologize if its bad or not what you expected.

summary: jack noticed you had been spending a lot more time with urban, jack gets jealous and tries to argue with urban.

requested by a lovely anon🌸

jack had been in the studio for over 6 hours, the only time he has came out was to get some water and snacks and would head back to the home studio.

at this point you were getting bored so you went to go knock on the studio door.

when you knocked you heard a loud huff and an aggressive, “come in”

“hi baby, you need some food?” you started walking towards him and started playing in his hair.

“no but i need you out because i cant fucking focus.”

“uhm jackman!!” “what now!?” “i.. never mind, sleep on the sofa. i dont want to see you tonight.” “yeah whatever.”

you left the room with tears brimming in your eyes, you went straight to urbans room and knocked and urban said a quick “come in”

once you walked in urban immediately asked you what was wrong.

“jack has been being the biggest dick, i get hes working but he yelled at me because i asked him if he wanted some food..”

“its ok mamas come here”

urban pulled you into his chest and he let you lay there and cry.

after a few minutes of you crying urban put on a tv show he knew you loved and your attention went straight to that, forgetting about jack.

after a couple hours of you and urban talking, you and urban were laying in bed, urban had his shirt off and you had your sweatpants on and an undershirt, you were both just watching tv.

until jack walked in.

“hi ba-“ “what the fuck!” “what??” you looked at urban in hopes he could answer your confusion.

but of course.

he couldn’t.

“jack whats going on baby??” “why the fuck are you in bed with urban??” “you were working so me and urban were just watching tv?? its not like we’re cuddling or naked or anything.”

“y/n come here” you slowly got out of the bed and made your way to jack.

“y/n go upstairs to your room” urban told you not wanting you to watch your boyfriend and your best friend about to argue.

you quickly went back upstairs and on your way up you heard jack and urban screaming at each other.

after a little while you heard a loud thump.

you immediately ran back downstairs to find jack and urban fighting.

“JACKMAN AND URBAN!!”

as soon as they heard there names they stopped fighting.

“jackman thomas. go upstairs and go take a shower i’ll be up there in a minute.”

jack hesitated but went upstairs and when you heard the water running you started talking to urban.

“what the fuck happened??” “he started yelling at me talking about how i was trying to get in your pants or whatever, we started arguing then i guess we fought.” “..when jack gets out go take a shower please.” “alright.”

“i swear im like yall damn mother.” you said under your breath as you walked out of urbans room.

you walked back upstairs into the bathroom, “jack hurry up and get out the shower, yall i act like yall have no fucking home training.”

once jack got out you started putting bandages and bruise cream wherever he gotten scratched or whatever he had gotten hit hard.

once you were done you started putting your things back in the box and gathering the trash to throw away.

“i’ll be back im going tale care of urban.

“hes a grown ass man he can take care of himself.” “jackman! stop acting like a 13 year old, hes still your best friend, he did nothing wrong, and your lucky im even letting you sleep in the bed ‘cause you were supposed to be sleeping on the couch. now like i said, i’ll be back.”

you went upstairs to urbans room to find him in her sweatpants smoking.

“let me hit” “you’ve never smoked before, maybe another time” “yea whatever.”

you searched urbans body for any scratches and bruises, once you found some you put some bruising cream and bandages on them.

“thanks mamas” “your welcome urban.”

you went back to the bedroom and found jack laying on his back, one hand behind his head and the other one him strolling on his phone.

you climbed into bed and jack quickly placed his phone down to cuddle you but you were quicker and pushed him off.

“ma..” “no jackman, you acted like the biggest asshole in the world, tomorrow your going to apologize to him by the way!” “WHAT!!?” “you heard me loud and clear.” “fine but lose that fucking attitude.”

“i dont have one.”

“you clearly do. lose it for i fuck it out of you.”

“jack leave me alone fuck.”

jack raised up and grabbed you by your neck squeezing it lightly.

“lose it. now.” jack voice was getting raspy, you could tell he was getting impatient and was ready to fuck you until you couldn’t even say your own name, and you couldn’t wait, so you played the game with him.

“jack, fuck me. please..” “dirty ass slut.”

jack let go of your neck and watched you scramble to take off your clothes.

once you were fully naked jack took your chin in his hand and pulled downward so your mouth was facing right were his cock was, covered by a thin piece of cotton.

with his free hand he lowered his pants enough for his cock to spring free, lightly slapping his stomach.

“suck.”

you put his tip in your mouth using your tongue to draw light circles around it.

you reached you eyes up to look at jack whos head was all the way back, after a while jack got sick of your teasing.

“stop trying to tease me and suck this dick.”

you put as much as you could fit of jacks cock in you mouth and grabbed the rest with your hand.

jack was quick to pop your hand away though.

“nuh uh, put that pretty little mouth to work, suck the whole thing. without your hands.”

you took his whole cock out your mouth “its to big, i cant fit the whole thing in!” “i dont care.”

you huffed and tried to place the whole thing in your mouth, jack was grunting every so often. you could tell he was trying to hold back moans.

jack noticed you struggling and took his hand and pushed your head further down his cock, jack let out a loud moan as you gagged on him.

“faster.”

you immediately started sucking him faster, jack letting his sweet moans eco all around the room, his hand found its way into your hair, jack twitched in your mouth, you got ready to swallow knowing jack wouldn’t let you up until you he knew you swallowed ever drop of his cum.

“FUCK!” jack threw his head back and came into your mouth.

you took him out your mouth and swallowed the cum, showing him your tongue when you were done.

“good girl, face down ass up.”

you got into the position jack just had told you to get into, jack went behind you looking at your glistening pussy, jack ran his fingers through your folds making you shiver.

jack chuckled at the way you looked, he knew he had full power over your body at this moment.

and you knew it to.

jack took his thick cock into his hand and rubbed in through your folds, teasing your throbbing entrance.

you wiggled your ass on him to try and slip his cock in, but all you got was a harsh smack on the ass.

“what have i told you about trying to rush me huh?” “hurry uppp!”

jack pulled your hair, pulling you up to his chest. “stop getting fucking smart with me, im done playing with you.”

“sorry jack.”

jack let go of the grip he had on your hair and roughly rammed into you.

you grabbed into the sheets as your face duh deeper into the soft fluffy blanket.

jack waited a few seconds to let you adjust to his size.

once you were ready you wiggle your ass back and forth while jack put his hands on your hips and started to thrust in and out of you.

“mm jack..”

jack took his hand off your waist and but a harsh smack on your ass, making you whine and jump from the sudden contact.

“whats my name when im inside of you?” jack asked thrusting into you harder, letting a few grunts slip out

“baby please”

“i asked you a question answer me slut.”

“DADDY!”

“act like you got some sense when im inside of you.”

jack thrusted into you harder, she sounds of sweet moans leaving your lips as jack grunted into your ear.

your face was pushing harder and harder into the sheets as jack pounded into you.

“fuck, you have such a smart mouth to have such a good pussy, i shouldn’t even let you cum. when i tell you to lose the attitude, lose it.”

“jack please.”

once again jack stopped moving in and out of you and pulled you back by your hair into his chest.

“y/n, you got one more fucking time to call me by my name. next time your dumbass won’t cum.”

“yes sir.”

jack pushed you back down letting go of your hair, pulling completely out of you.

“get on your back.”

you quickly started to get onto your back, you propped your legs up and jack started holding them to make sure they would stay.

jack let your legs rest on his thighs as he rubbed his cock against your glistening folds.

you wanted to whine or push back but you knew jack would just punish you for it.

jack roughly pushed into you, jack didnt give you anytime to adjust, he kept ramming into you, your perfect tits bouncing up and down every time jack thrusted.

jack reached down to take one of your tits in his mouth, he played with the other one with his thumb and index finger.

“daddy please. its to much!” jack released your nipple from his mouth “you can take it mamas, be a big girl for me.”

jack put his head in the crock of you neck, jack was becoming unable to control his moans, he was panting and whining in your ear, and you loved every second of it.

you felt yourself about to cum. “FUCK! jack im about to cum!!” “let it go mamas, cum all over me.”

jack lifted his head up so he could look at your face while you came on his pretty cock.

after 7 more thrust, you came all over jack.

jack knew he wouldn’t last longer, the feeling of you clenching all over him, and him looking at your pretty face whine and moan had him in a trance.

jack started to twitch inside of you, you got ready to take his cum, jack came inside of you but kept thrusting, trying to keep your and his high going.

you tried running from him, but of course he pulled you back.

“nuh uh, where you going?”

after a few more thrust jack pulled out and collapsed on your chest.

you both laid there for a few seconds looking around till you felt jack get up.

jack came back with a wet wash cloth and some water.

jack handed you the water and started to clean you off.

“i love you mamas.”

“i love you more jackie.”

you drunk half the water and put it on your nightstand, jack lifted you up and brought you to the bathroom to pee while he cleaned himself off.

jack brought you back to the room, he put his hoodie on you and walked back to the bathroom, you laid there waiting for jack to cone back.

you seen the lights switch off and seen jack walk out, he only had on a pair of boxers.

jack laid down next to you and kissed you goodnight. he laid on top off you and fell asleep to your chest rising up and down with every breathe, making him feel more comfortable.

[enamation]

if it’s okay can i request nightcord with a reader who’s peppy yet serious and caring and they want to join the group because they’re friends with kanade and what is their reactions?

Hello hallo hello !! Im literally gonna cry I had written this the second i saw the ask and right before i was going to post it i left the app since my parents had texted me and now its ALL GONE :(((, so this has been rewritten, i hope you enjoy !!

Type: Multiple Headcannons

Warnings: None

❥ NIGHTCORD at 25 + Reader: New Member?

headcannons start utc !!

KANADE YOISAKI

You had known Kanade for a while now, actually

You two had met at the music store, when Kanade was looking for a new CD to get inspiration from, she picked one that was made by your favorite group, and you started a conversation from there!!

You learned about what had been going on with her, and how she can get so immersed in music she forgets to take care of herself sometimes

This causes you to always text Kanade and remind her to do certain things for herself

Once you find out about 25-ji, it takes you a few days, but you decide to ask her if you could possibly join

She hesitates and stiffens up slightly once she reads the message

She compared the sekai, the vocaloids, and Mafuyu, to lively, sometimes serious, caring, well.. you

She first thought it might be a recipe for disaster, but she decides to ask the others first that very night before she makes her own decision

Lets find out how they react to you 🤔

❝ Ah- well, it might be a bit difficult, but I'll make sure to mention you to the others. ❞

MAFUYU ASAHINA

I mean, she didn't think that much of you, just kinda saw you as someone Kanade mentioned

When she first met you, she found you a bit annoying..

But as time went on, she suprisingly didnt mind your presence, you were just sort of something brighter than everyone else, and admired (she obviously doesnt know that) the way you can easily switch and become serious when needed

Mafuyu appreciates how you do your best to take care of Kanade and make sure she takes showers, eats, etc.

She doesnt trust you too much yet, so until Kanade decides to show you the Empty Sekai, you'll have to bear with her and her good girl persona

She doesnt mind you becoming a member at all.

❝ Welcome to 25-ji, Y/N. Its great to have you here. ❞

ENA SHINONOME

When Kanade tells the group about you, she doesnt see a reason for you being there

Whats your role 🤨❓ Kanade already is the songwriter, Mafuyu lyricist, She illustrator, Mizuki the video editor, so..... 🤔

As she hangs out with you more and understands your character, she finds comfort in you

Youre lively, youre serious, youre caring, and most importantly, you willingly act as her reference

Drawing around you calms her down alot more, and she loves talking with you even though sometimes you can get a little too happy for her liking

She would love for you to be in the group !!

❝ Thats amazing to hear !! Welcome to 25-ji Y/N !! Dont let Mafuyu scare you away, okay? ❞

You have no idea what she means by that.

MIZUKI AKIYAMA

Mizuki is the only one that thought it wouldn't hurt to have another member! That doesnt mean they don't need to meet you first, though.

Once you two finally met, they almost immediately took a liking to you!

You didnt eye them weird when they teased you, you two could goof off together, and you could take them and other things seriously immediately. Mizuki sees you as (from what they call) a 'focus point'

When they need a break from the group or the world in general, you're one of the first people they go to.

Similar to Ena, they also find comfort in you

Youre such a great person to be around, it was a yes from them before you even spoke.

❝ Yaha! I'm glad to hear you're one of us now! We're gonna have a good time together, Y/N. ❞

[skyechild]

Wont let go

𖤐 pairing: Hyunjin x reader

𖤐 genre: angst :D

𖤐 warnings: just angst

𖤐 wc: 1.5k

𖤐 summary: You cant let go...

𖤐 notes: this hurt me writing, like i actually teared up. this is inspired but Till I Let Go by NEFFEX

𖤐 network and tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @spooo00oky / @stravvberrymilksan /

You stare at the little flowers in your hand, sitting on the wet grass infront of a pile of rocks. Your gaze turns up towards the sky, smiling weakly as the clouds opened up and the rain drenched everything, mixing with the tears on your cheeks. “Is this you telling me not to cry?” Eyes closed as you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes. “You always hated it when i cried. Especially if it was over you.” You choked on a watery laugh, placing the sad bundle of flowers next to the rocks.

“I cant move on Jin, i cant move on cause i cant let go. I just-” You looked down at the pile of rocks, the clearing in front of you filled with soft pink tulips. “You always said that we would live forever. But now...” You bit your lip, eyes burning. “Now you arent...here...” You let out a heart wrenching cry, covering your face. “Your jokes you pulled on everyone.” You sobbed, adjusting to lay down, facing the sky. 

“The pain makes it real, i dont want to feel...i just wanna kill the bad thoughts and steal a good thought.” You whispered, smiling at the faint feeling of a brush against your cheek. “I hate feeling broken.” You clenched your fists. “I drown in our memories, Hyunjin. I wonder if you can hear me.”

“I feel so lost, im never at home. This is the first time ive been out in two weeks.” You smiled softly. “You always were such a good listener.” You giggled wetly, watching the sky get darker. “What i just lay here with you?” You turned onto your side, hair sticking to your neck and forehead. “Just for tonight. We can stargaze together? Sounds good right?” You smiled, bringing your legs up to your chest and playing with the ring on your finger. “You promised we would get married...you remember that right?” You smile softly. 

“Jisung and Felix have been trying to talk to me, trying to get me out of the house. The bed still smells like you...” You whisper, stroking the wet grass . “Ive been wearing your clothes.” You thumbed the stem of a flower. “You would be nagging at me to take care of myself...dont worry ive been trying. I’ve been eating and taking showers.” You breathed deeply. “But i spend most of my time in our bed, surfing through memories. The ones we have on our phones and on the computer.”

You cried softly. “I just...i miss you so much Hyunjin.” You hiccupped, gripping a patch of grass. “Im never going to let go.” You sniffled. “Im not going to move on.” You sobbed, curling into yourself. “I knows its not healthy but I made you a promise. You made it to. Its us against the world. Us forever.” You smiled. “I just wish you wouldve opened your eyes. Let me hear your voice and your laugh. Hold your hand and hug you.” You cried softly, resting your head on the grass.

“I just want to see you again...” You whimpered, closing your eyes. “I need time to heal...” You whispered, gripping your chest. “Hyunjin...” You choked out his name. “I hope they dont take me away from you again...i wouldnt be able to take it. Chris will probably come though. He seems to know where i am all the time.” You joked through tears. 

“Remember when we went on that Ferris wheel? I was so scared and you thought rocking it would be funny?” You chuckled, sniffling. “We had our first kiss there...its also where you said you wanted to propose.” You smiled. “Since we had so many memories there.”

“I cant forget how you some how lost me that day. im not even that much shorter then you. But you found me, like you always do.” You hiccupped softly. “Remember when we took that trip to Australia?” You smiled, giggling at the memory. “You got so scared when we went to the rescue sanctuary. All the dingos and the roos.” You sighed. “Of all the animals, you got scared of the Tasmanian devils.” You chuckled. “I can imagine your whine to that.” You let your clothes soak in the water, leaving you soaked in the clearing you and Hyunjin had claimed as yours. 

“I would have done anything to keep you here. To keep you with me and alive.” You whispered, already hearing the sound of tires on gravel. “After you, its always Chris that would find me. I can hear him now y’know?” You chuckled lightly. “Hes almost here, they probably got into my apartment since i wasnt answering the door. You gave him an extra key remember.” You wiped your nose on your wet sleeve. “Why did you leave me.” You whispered, shifting to curl around the pile of rocks. “I know you wouldnt hang out at your grave, you said you would always be here, roam around in this clearing.”

You heard the tires get closer. “I can feel you around sometimes.” You looked through the tulips. “Barely there touches, a could pressure on my cheek.” You smiled. “You never did leave me, just physically. Youre here with me.” You heard the car stop a bit away, not wanting to ruin any of the flowers. “Chris is here now. He is probably coming to get me.” You touched one of the rocks, stroking the smooth surface. “I hate emotions my love. Why did you leave me with these?” You could hear Chris’ steps coming closer.

You sighed, closing your eyes and taking a breath. “I guess he wont let us stargaze huh.” It was still pouring rain and you could barely hear your last words through the rain. “Probably going to storm tonight.” You whispered, not wanting to leave your place as you heard the squish of Chris’ shoes against the wet grass.

“I knew id find you here.” You could barely hear Chris over the rain. He came and kneeled next to you. “Lets go home Y/n.” You shook your head. “This is my home, hes my home Chris....ill never be home again.” You murmured and the rain started to let up. “He wouldnt want you to get sick.” You stayed quiet. “Youve been gone for a few hours....the others are worried.” He spoke, placing a warm hand on your head. “I cant even see his parents Chris.” You cried softly. “He looks just like them and my heart hurts everytime.” He nodded, stroking your head. “How about we come back tomorrow ok?” You shake your head. 

“Baby i hate to say it but...i dont trust you alone...” You sniffled. “I know you miss him love. “Im not going to move on from him. Or let go of him.” You whispered. “I dont want anyone else.” Chris sighed. “I know love, and i can reassure you that he knows too. But we have to go, youve been out here too long and i know youre going to get sick. Meaning the kids are going to come and baby you.” You smiled slightly before moving and slowly getting up. “Take a warm shower then change into warm clothes. Felix and Jisung are already there, Felix is probably stress baking. Jisung is probably slowly losing it.”

You nodding, letting him help you up as your legs wobbled. “Chris?” He hummed, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you up. “Why did he leave me?” He smiled sadly. “Love, he didnt do it on purpose. He was just driving.” You shook your head. “Why did i survive and not die with him?” Chris shook his head, getting you into the car and turning it on, letting the air slowly warm you up. You stared out the window, jolting when a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Chris smiled as he starts to drive you both back to your house, your eyes watching the clearing til you could no longer keep it in eyesight. You stared out the window, quiet.

Thats the most you had talked to someone since the time Hyunjin left your side. Radio silence is what everyone had been getting from you since it happened. You stayed in your seat once he pulled up to your house. “We are home.” You shook your head. Its not home if Hyunjin isnt here. He smiled faintly before coming over to help you out as your front door swung open. His head snapped over to the door, giving them a look. They stopped in their spot, watching as he led you into the house. “Go shower, change too and we will be here.” You turned your gaze to Jisung and Felix. “Can you guys stay?” They nodded rapidly.

You looked back at Chris then towards the others. “Can one of you...stand by the door while i shower? I dont...I dont like how quiet it is now.” Chris nodded. “Ill be right behind you.”

[sappygentlemen]

PART FIVE. to my beloved, basement dweller

you know the drill.

TW: DARK, GORE DESCRIPTIONS, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS/ATTACHMENTS/BEHAVIORS. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION ☝️‼️

beep. beep. beep. beep.

".... do you think Sam will wake up today?.."

".......I dont know Quincy... im doing everything I can, but between, all their current injuries, their lack of a leg, the mass amount of VERY old injuries it seems, that never healed right..... i... i dont know Quincy."

".....its been 3 weeks........"

Quincy wanted to ask if Sam would EVER wake up... but he knew he couldnt handle the potential answer to that question. He chose to hold his tongue. even though Nate knew exactly what he wanted to ask.

sigh "i know Quincy. Im sorry.....Your welcome to stay, but i suggest you go hom-"

"Id like to stay.. please.... please nate.."

Quincys voice was wavering, cracked at the end. His previous sobbing evident in his hoarse throat and sniffles. The eye bags proved the lack of sleep hed been getting these past few weeks, but Nate didnt need them to know.. Nate had been Sams doctor since Quincy bravely rushed Sam to his mentor.. their next door neighbor.. Dr. Nate.

As Quincy stood, wobbly, but standing, Nate could do nothing but look at his usually lively and strong assistant, with sympathy, and concern. Hed promised not to look into the situation that caused Sams state, under a promise he made Quincy, that possibly went against everything Nate stood for, but a promise Nate intended to keep ,for Quincys sake nonetheless.

"very well. please have a shower though.. i know this is hard but, im sure your friend wouldn't want to see you suffer like this."

Silence fills the room. Quincy walks to the white, clean, neat hospital bed. Sams hospital bed. The same bed, hed been laying, un-moving, for 3 weeks. Sams condition was stable, and he was healing well, but he had remained in the coma, causing Nate to be concerned... concerned that maybe he would never wake up..

Though, he was interrupted and his attention was stolen, as he got an urgent code, not being able to say a proper goodbye to his former assistant, before he was rushing and running down the halls of the hospital. Quincy was understanding, he knew no matter how much Dr.Nate cared, he still had a job to do.

He calmly pulled a small book of poems out of his bag, as he pulled a chair up next to Sams bed, making sure to avoid all the wires. He had read this book to Sam everyday, since the second day of Sams hospital stay, when Quincy made a trip home, to pack a bag of stuff.

"this was always your favorite book.. you used to read it to me, remember?... i hope you can hear me reading it...im trying my best to do get all the voices right.."

The silence in the room is interrupted, by a cracked, hoarse, sob escaping Quincy's throat, as he chuckled lightly, whipping away his tears with his jacket sleeve.....more specifically.. Sams jacket sleeve...

"everyone knows you were always the best at that...i hope im doing just as good for you."

Quincy sighed, putting the book down. he hated crying while he read the book of poems, afraid to get his tears on the precious pages. Quincy held onto Sams larger hand, before laying his head on s\Sams lap. letting the tears flow silently as his mind recounted these last three weeks.

He had visited his house, and his Brother, once every week. to grab supplies. The first time he went home. he was bombarded by his older brother, though, he couldnt bear to look Declan in the eyes. He fought Declan, proving he could hold his ground, and that he was no longer the little baby brother Declan once knew. Instead, he had grown into a man. A man who promised himself to be better then Declan or his Father could ever hope to be. He loved Sam like a father, and losing Sam gave him all the strength he could never muster, to finally stand up to Declan. When he left Declan, he had made sure to leave his mark on that house, and Declan himself, without even being physically violent. he had destroyed every gift hed ever received from Declan, including, the most valuable, and meaningful... his beloved piano.

Declan was of course, devastated by Quincys absence, and "betrayal", but Quincy could care less. Quincys last piece of pity to his older brother, came in a promise, a promise to never spill Declan and Sams, dark secret. But, the promise came at a cost. Declan could never speak to him or Sam again.

As Quincy laid his head on Sams soft lap, covered in a soft fleece blanket, that Sam had loved dearly. Quincy finally looked up, and out the window. it was dark outside.... he hadnt realized hed been here this long... maybe he would take a shower in the morning.... just a quick one. but for now. he need to sleep. Crying for so long made his body weak and his head heavy. Quickly setting up a little space beside Sam, on the bed, as he did every night, and began squishing his small body, into Sams side, not moving Sam, too afraid to worsen his condition or mess up a wire. Eventually, as Quincy calmed down, next to Sam, he began to slowly drift off.

Not noticing the figure behind the hospital curtain.

I slowly blinked my eyes open, met with an entirely sore body, a weight on my side, and a horrible migraine. There is an extremely annoying in my ear. god damn beeping.

I slowly blinked and looked around to my left, seeing Quincy laying in my side, peacefully curled up, head on my chest. so thats where i was. a hospital. such a smart boy, i leaned my head down, pressing a kiss to his forehead, slowly and painfully moving the hand underneath him, out from under him, and then draping it over his body, instantly relaxing his tense form, as, even in his unconscious state, he began to uncurl and wrap around my side, head snuggled deeper into my chest.

even as a growing young man... hes still my little boy..

After a few seconds of staring at Quincys obviously disheveled and weak body, i turned my head to the right, trying to take in my surroundings. but before I could. I was met with a sight i never expected.

Declan.

Declan was standing about 6 feet away from my bed, no emotion, just a blank stare as we made eye contact. I was un-phased. I did not care if he wanted forgiveness. i did not care if he was was "right" or if i "deserved" this punishment. i was no longer his. he was no longer my soulmate, and im starting to think he never was.....

Declan and me made eye contact as his gaze turned from blank, to one of remorse, opening his mouth. but before he could, i shook my head. turning away from his form. I could hear his hesitant and heavy footsteps as he walked towards me.

"youre still mine. youll get better, and then we can be better again... all of us... we can be a family.."

a deafening silence filled the room

.............

i cleared my dry, hoarse throat as i attempted to whisper. Quietly pressing the "doctor" button, on my hospital bed remote.

"no. I am not yours anymore. I may have been, once upon a time... but that twisted fairytale, has long since ended. Goodbye."

Declan must have heard the hurried footsteps too, as he quickly left the room, but not without one more scowl my way.

very Soon, a very.....handsome? man hurridely stepped into the room, body obviously tense and in a panic as spoke quickly, without looking up....oh.. so this was my angel.. how cute

"QUINCY!! you called?? what hapened??? Are they coding?!?!........oh. um, hello?"

The short, nervous doctor, let out a small chuckle as he came closer to me, at a slower, calmer pace now.

"its good to see you awake.. mr. sam... im sure Quincy will be elated by the news"

"hello... yes, im sure he will be too... thank you.. for saving me that day.....but um.. speaking of days.... what day IS it"

"Its the 30th. youve been in a coma for 3 weeks. its good to have you back."

To my concerned displeasure, Quincy woke up, likely at all the noise. quickly stiffening, when he saw my wide, tired eyes. He quickly sat up before launching himself into my arms, with wide eyed, smiling sobs.

"SAM!!! YOURE AWAKE!! OH GOSH I WAS SO SCARED!!!!"

his voice trailed off, as he laid his lower body, between my legs, and his upper body, on my chest and stomach, arms wrapped around my waist. I slowly stroked his hair, hoping to offer some comfort

"....i thought you might never wake up......i was so scared"

The handsome doctor, pulled up a chair next to me, smiling and began explaining things to me, such as the next steps treatment wise. I would receive a prosthetic leg, and daily walks/physical therapy. but i needed to stay under their care, to monitor all my other injuries.

MONTHS LATER

I had been officially released from the hospital two weeks ago, though i received daily physical therapy sessions. my new prosthetic leg was helping a ton, Quincy had gone back to working as an assistant for Dr- i mean.. Nate,, just Nate :)

Nate had moved, recently, to a bigger space. Allowing me and Quincy to move in with him. He was a kind, gentle man, and he was incredibly sweet to me.... even when i had my strongest PTSD episodes... he and Quincy were always there.

I had been diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, during my time at the hospital, with the help of my amazing therapist and psychologist. Life had been hard to manage with those two together.. the meds.. the physical therapy.. the healing process... it was all incredibly hard.

But it wasnt all bad!! I had gotten closer to Dr.Na- i mean. just.. Nate :)

And i had begun working at a nearby bakery, to help pay the bills and my medical expenses. Quincy deserved a childhood, and i was prepared to give him one, always trying to take him places with my extra money, or give him cute little gifts. he was a sweet kid, he deserved the world. Nate and I had gotten close, and i had developed a mini crush on him, though i wont act on it yet.. my therapist says i need to differentiate fiction from reality, so i dont potentially hurt Nate. so, im gonna do my best.

however.... Declan also hasn't left me alone.... ive been getting weekly letters.. dark letters... letters with pictures of me in different places. it was all concerning.. though id decided to ignore it.. surely he wouldnt try anything again?

......right?