#ITS LIKE IF EVERY PIECE OF MEDIA WAS ONE PIECE EXCEPT IT DOESNT GET GOOD AT CHAPTER 407 THEY ALL LIED

[cowboy-robooty]

i go on novel updates i find something that fucking sucks i read 300 chapters of it and i quit before the ending that i read the entire thing for (it ends at chapter 304) then repeat. sisyphus grindset

[surpriserose]

i cant get over how fucking fascist the dark knight rises is which like...i knew going in it would be if only because its based on frank millers the dark knight comics (and also no mans land???) And frank miller is the biggest piece of shit in comics whos not alan moore or garth ennis but christ i think nolan managed to go even more mask off

Okay grain of salt im not the biggest comics guy i just read the good stuff sylvie sends me so im not as knowledgeable about comic stuff but i stay silly anyways im gonna go character by character thats easiest for me

So batmans barely here except to become disabled and then practically heal overnight so very cool point number one 😐 but half of the movie hes stuck in the scary pit prison (because the Lazarus pit is too silly for nolan) with all the arab guys who didnt get whitewashed and its so boring and it sucks and only white people made it out of the pit ever basically who gives a shit it sucks honestly the only reason im mentioning this is because i honestly forgot bane wasnt the main character about an hour in because like? He should be? and ill get to that

Joseph gordon levitt is there and his character has a name and i do just want to call him joseph gordon levitt instead but thats long as fuck and hes robin so im just gonna call him robin even though he sucks ass. the whole point of his character is to be the good cop to gordons bad cop but it doesnt really work because thats a shitty fucking thing you see in media all the time because they always just go for the its just some bad apples approach look at this good apple dont you love apples approach but honestly nolans deepthroating the boot so much its even worse here. and yeah dudes robin but hes like.... nolans oc as robin because thank god i dont want dick in this movie (which would bring the whitewashing count up to 4 characters) or god forbid jason todd but i think its really telling how even robin in this universe has to be a fucking cop instead of like any of the disadvantaged kids bruce actually takes in like yeah this robin is still an orphan but thats way less important to the narrative and to nolan than being a cop.

gordons also barely here and i dont give a shit about him i wish he died i mean i always wish he died because hes a cop he is THE cop in every batman piece of media (except when he was jack the ripper one time or something?) and why even the most benign batman media is copaganda because theyre fucking besties. really i just want to talk about one scene before I get to the bulk of this post bane. late in the fucking almost THREE HOUR LONG MOVIE theres a scene where gordon is rallying the cops and goes to some cops door and hes like "why did you let your wife answer the door dont you know whats going on out there?" as if women are being raped on the streets of gotham which we never even see a fucking hint of??? the actual main issues affecting gotham at the moment are food issues and even thats not a problem because aid is getting in slowly and thats actually how gordon gets MORE FUCKING COPS into the city its insane and im gonna come back to this again with bane but while we're talking about the misogny -

-lets talk about catwoman who just kind of exists doing the catwoman thing of oh im on batmans side but not really and im on banes side but not really and it sucks but lets start with the misogyny before i talk about catwomans spineless centrism. when catwoman is caught by joseph gordon levitt shes taken to prison and the cops specifically point out shes taken to a mens prison (?????) because of the new laws because shes such a risk that a maximum security womens prison cant hold her but a mens prison can because womens prisons are all knitting circles i guess. This is really just an excuse so she can be in the prison that bane stages a prison break on (based) and come back for the climax and also have a hashtag girlboss moment where she does a sexy flip attack against a man threatening to sexually assault her which is just so classy nolan. and i want to fucking point out that this is blackgate prison which in most batman media is ALREADY FUCKING COED this shit was so unnecessary and gross and i just...its still pissing me off obviously so lets get to catwomans shitty fucking robin hood shit and why robin hood narratives are rarely ever radical. yes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is cool but here and in most narratives its really only cool because its..one person or a small group. A society wide redistribution of wealth? out of the question thats too scary just go back to helping one kid steal an apple lady and hating that bane is literally crashing wall street (based) and breaking into rich peoples homes and bringing them to sentencing trials for crimes against humanity (based). Catwoman will have no part of that thank you and will instead just kind of...hang out until batman gets back.

side note what the fuck is up with the timeline in this movie batman gets his back broken and taken to the pit which is located in....an "ancient part of the world" the batman wiki tells me which holy shit okay the racism continues forever. but batman is not in gotham and again his back is literally BROKEN until it gets healed because he....was hoisted into a standing position with a rope? and idk how long that takes whether its months or a day because the movie seems to suggest both???

okay lets talk about talia al ghul and ras al ghul really quick before i get to based bane. Ill start by saying they're really fucking whitewashed like probably the worst example ive ever seen? Talia (or miranda tate as she's called for most of the movie) is played by a white french actress and Ra's al ghul is played by white irish actor and racist liam neeson. Because the comics are also racist ras al ghul never is really given a clear country of origin besides vaguely arabic slash east asian partially because hes so old but also again the racism but hes certainly not white again...because of the racism. and neither is talia who is only slightly less vaguely chinese and arabic. nolan gives even less of a shit than most batman writers though which is a high bar. talia was so boring and poorly written i barely remember her but they gave her half hearted attempts at environmentalism (incremental and done by begging the rich for everything though of course) before saying oh its actually because she and bane want to blow gotham up with a bomb which...god its all so stupid i honestly forget the bomb shit exists because it makes no sense and seems to have a detonation timer of 24 hours which again is why i literally have no idea what the timeline is. this shit is so stupid and unnecessary except to be the secret reason banes populist revolution of gotham (based) is actually bad but its so fucking tacked on even beyond most reasons why communist characters in media eat a baby to show theyre actually bad and so is communism because communists love neutron bombs.

BANE TIME! I'll also start out by pointing out that bane is whitewashed since hes supposed to be from a fictional south american slash caribbean island prison which......man. He's just tom hardy here though. Lets keep talking about communists eating a baby so theyre bad now. I think this is a trope people associate more with the mcu which is fair the falcon and the winter soldier pulled some shit because of course it did but i think we should consider the dark knight rises as a prime example instead. Not the originator since anti communism didn't start with nolan although i wish i could blame him for that too. Banes list of crimes batman has to stop him for are killing cia agents (based), crashing the stock market which he didn't even kill anyone at (not as based as he could have been), stage a prison break as previously mentioned (based), revealing police corruption (based), forming a militia to govern gotham while theres a transition of power from the rich and the police to the people (based), killing a bunch of cops (based), exploding some of gotham including all but one of the bridges out of the city (really just a strategic decision since hes about to have the american military on his ass and needs to counter that), and blowing up the pittsburgh steelers (extremely based). hey why is this guy the villain again? hey why does gotham have a wall street now why is this such a big deal is it possibly because the occupy wall street protests happened before during and after production of the movie? no that certainly couldnt be the case theres no way nolan would hate peaceful protests and create a movie where god forbid they werent peaceful and cops were instead treated like they treat protestors so we feel bad for them instead of people who are literally sick and tired of their labor being exploited by capitalism for the benefit of the rich. like jesus christ this movie is so blatantly fascist explaining the plot should have anyone going hey wait a minute. and you may say im biased in favor of bane as a communist but jesus christ are you seeing the shit nolan is pulling im being even handed in comparison i mean the fucking climax is batman showing up to rally the cops against bane and the mostly citizens militia of gotham like jesus fucking christ. banes not even a fucking dictator hes literally just some guy in most of the scenes after gotham is taken back by the people hes not even the guy sentencing and killing the rich and the police thats scarecrow! hes just on the sides like everyone else. and while im on scarecrow (jonathan crane hes not called scarecrow in the movie but he is that judge guy) nolan treats it as unreasonable that these are not hearings to determine the guilt of the police and the rich they protect because the people have already determined that theyre guilty but they just fucking are by definition. you dont get rich under capitalism by working hard you get rich by exploiting hundreds of thousands or millions of people out of their labor and livelihoods these people are fucking guilty even if they havent killed anyone with their own hands. but because bane does kill people on screen we're supposed to think hes worse but he only kills rich people and cops and the pittsburgh steelers!!!! like holy shit i hate this fucking movie i hate christopher nolan

[angelwiththeblue-box]

aight so here's the thing

episode six, "the sound of her wings" is important to me for three reasons. one i've just thought of and is comic related so i'll get to that later.

FIRST!

its portrayal of death. not only is she a black woman, she is also endlessly kind. in most media, death is portrayed as either evil or resentful. always coming to take us away in our prime, or hating us for making them do their job, face all these upset people. and here's the thing -- Death of the Endless had a phase like that. she talks about it in e6. she says that she used to think she had the hardest job of all of them (being the endless), and that she was always so upset by it. she felt forever alone, like she had to do her job all on her own. but then she came to a realisation -- one that most portrayals of death are never seen reaching.

she realised that not only is her duty inevitable, she can also make it beautiful. they are so afraid to enter the sunless realms, she says, and she isn't there to make it worse. in the end, all we need is a kind smile and an outstretched hand. neither of them (death or the dead) are alone.

SECOND!

god. just. hob gadling's whole thing. disregarding the dreamling, his entire storyline is amazing. he's a human being gifted immortality. what could go wrong?

the first time they meet up, in 1489, you have expectations -- the same ones dream has. you expect hob to be begging for death, because that's what's been shown to us. every piece of media that shows someone being given immortality has them inevitable on their knees begging to be taken to the sunless lands. so that's what you expect of hob.

but when dream asks him what he thinks of the world, of his extended life, what does hob say?

"it's fucking brilliant!" he's amazed by how far they've come in so little time. he's so madly in love with the world around him. (also, the way the sCORE PICKS UP WHEN HE SAYS IT IS FUCKING WICKED)

the next time we see him, in 1589, he's a bit of a prick. he's rich and he's mean and he wants dream's attention -- attention that he doesn't get. not much to say about this one except that it's where hob's eternal hatred of william shakespeare began.

but 1689. oooh boy. golly gee. my oh my. i have SO MUCH TO SAY about this one.

in 1689, hob gadling comes crawling into the white horse tavern, starving, having hated every moment of the last eighty years. he is at his lowest -- lower than he was when he started out. do you know how hungry you can get? when you can't eat but you can't die?

and dream, so sure of himself, so sure he'll prove his sister wrong, asks this starving, dirty, 300 year old man in so much pain if he wishes to die, yet.

and what does hob say?

"are you crazy? death is a mug's game. i've got so much left to live for!"

and. oh my god. i cried when i got to this part today. because. there is a reason why such a popular headcanon for him is as hope of the endless (forgiving the lack of alliteration).

he has been beaten and bloody and starving. he's lost everyone he's ever known. his wife and unborn child at the same time. his son.

dream is offering him escape. he's giving him a way out of it all.

but hob still hopes. he still finds joy. he still knows that things can change on the head of a pin. he still wants to live.

theres 200 more years but honestly i just wanted to talk about 1689

also in 1889 he tells dream he doesnt think he'll ever want to die which is like. HHHHHHHHH YES

point is, e6 (and death and hob's storyline beyond that) breaks down two very prominent media tropes - evil death and begging for death. it's important to me.

and THIRDLY

in the comics, dream is the one narrating death's bit of e6 and he marks down every time she takes a soul to the sunless lands as "the sound of her wings" and its SO GOOD because it doesn't focus on anything except the transportation. he doesn't hear the pleading or sobbing or cursing. he comments on the sound of his sister doing her job as best she can and nothing else. something special about that to me

GOD YES I LOVE THIS

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[kevin-day-is-bi]

idk this might be a ☆controversial opinion☆ or something, but just because something is popular or controlled by a megacorp doesnt mean it’s “bad”. this goes for media and pretty much anything else. basically don’t shame people for liking things, specifically media. there are 3 mindsets i see pretty often, all of which are fairly toxic to varying degrees. 

(Note: all of these are my own beliefs and thoughts. i dont want to speak for everyone; this is my moral stance. also this got long)

(Note #2. i am fully guilty of doing all of these at some point in time)

the first is cancel culture. i am of the pretty firm mindset that you’re the only one who should control what you consume. if you know that, lets say a musician is advocating for something homophobic, but you absolutely adore their music, listening to it doesnt make you a bad person. buying their albums doesn’t make you a bad person. being touched by their music doesnt make you a bad person. just because they are doing something against your morals/beliefs/identity, doesnt mean you should instantly cut off all contact with their media. why? first off, people make mistakes. that person might have a change of heart, or be educated on why what they did was wrong, or something else. if everyone immediately stops consuming their media, a teaching moments might never happen. #2, the more obvious reason. it’s your media experience. by listening to their music, you are not saying you support every single thing they’re saying. all it means is that theyre good at their job. ie producing music

the second mindset: cringe culture. ohh boy i dislike cringe culture. lets roll with the earlier example. let’s say you really like a musician. their music helped you through a rough time, or you really connect to it, or it just bops. this musician is really mainstream, like everyone has heard of them (think Taylor Swift kind of big). lets say you go to your friend, vibrating with excitement, and tell them you’re excited about the musician’s new album. they scoff, and call you basic for liking them, and say you jumped on the bandwagon. why was that bad? 1, my point earlier, its your media experience. you like the music. there is literally nothing wrong with that. 2, which is the point that always awes me. if the musician is really popular, and you like them, it doesnt mean youre basic or that you jumped on the bandwagon. it means one thing and one thing alone. they’re good at their job, which is producing music multiple people like. 

(supernatural, sherlock, doctor who, hunger games, etc are not bad because theyre liked by a lot of people. it’s the job of the creators to make them be popular)

which brings me to my third mindset. this one is a lot less toxic, but if you push it on people as a necessity or hold yourself above others cause you do it, it’s toxic. Consuming media critically. it’s good to consume media with an eye out for negative messages, but it’s not always necessary. I’m going to use a new example. if you read a book that has a fairly non-diverse cast (ie mostly white, men, able-bodied, straight, cis, etc) and you like it, and use it as an escape or just a fun read, you are not required to go read or write a dissertation on how not-diverse it is. you are not required to know the full motivation of the writer. as a not cis, not straight, disabled girl, i do not see myself reflected in media often. i can still consume media that doesn’t feature characters like me, and i can do it without having to defend it as Reading With A Critical Eye. If you like doing that, props to you! it’s sometimes interesting to read your dissertations and think of things i hadn’t before. but if you say everyone should do it, or that they’re a bad reader if they don’t, that’s toxic. why? because 1, for some, consuming media is an escape from a world where they must constantly view things critically. 2, if a piece of media is very near and dear to someone’s heart, informing them all the ways it could be problematic is hurtful. 

tldr, a person controls their own media consumption, and is not required to demonstrate they regret it’s popular, may have problematic content, or that the creators may be reprehensible

And y’all, have fun! enjoy your shows and movies and books, let yourself be lost, and try not to let the negative parts of fandoms get you down! There’s good bits in everything, and don’t be afraid to block people who give you a negative experience. 

(ps, i know there are exceptions to every rule. i go through life and try not to involve myself too heavily in these mindsets, but sometimes there is media where you have to consume it critically, or where you have to state the fact that the author very firmly sucks)

(pps, I’m sorry for inconsistent grammer or spelling, i cut my thumb and typed this mostly one handed)

[thesharondefenseleague]

mlm imo werent sexualized to the degree that wlw were in most canon media mostly because of the male gaze. Gay and Lesbian relationships or moments got very limited representation. One was probably more sympathetic but also heart breaking like say brokeback mountain. One was explicit but depicted as grotesque or twisted or perverted or immoral in some way. And the last version was the titillating version. In western media because of the assumed straight male gaze lesbians making out to titlate guys was a common thing like say in Jennifer's body. The equivalent of that with guys wasnt really that common not in western media. Not that wlw couldn't like that content but it was made to be fanservice for men .

So thats what I kind of mean by wlw were sexualized at least in western media. This equivalent with mlm in fandom never really existed they never made out for girls to find hot in the same way. It was never marketed like oh look hot guys making out. Fandom did that but not canon.

As for comic book men being sexualized kind of. There is definitely the unrealistic beauty standards but theres that debate of was it for the purpose of titillating women? Or a result of toxic masculinity putting this unattainable unsustainable goal for men. Maybe both? But both in comics and the movies they are based on the posing and clothing and moments with women get made to clearly sexualize them . It especially ovbious with comics with them twisting their bodies so their boobs and butts are jutting out. Or like movie moments like Bruce landing in Natasha's clevage. Or angles where you are staring down a female character's shirt or she has a boob window for some contrived reason. Or just reasons to give full page spreads of them in skimpy clothing.

Its rare men get depicted like this or posed like this. And when they do it often stands out because its not the norm. It's something unique. Not true with men. Even in form fitting spandex they are often posed and framed to make to make them look powerful or intelligent or to reveal things about their character.

Again not that men never get sexualized or that fanservice is always bad. Or that its not a concern that men are having these terrible body image issues. But just that for women for the sexualization its so pervasive and constant was my point.

Its just as bad in wlw in canon as it is for women in relationships with men in canon when it comes to that sexualization but i hear so much more about the problems about the wlw ship than the mlw ship. Like to use DC as a example i hear so much about how people sexualized or mishandle harleyivy but compared to that i hear very little about batcat in comparison even though Catwoman is often just as sexualized in that ship.

As for misogyny in shipping wars yes it definetly exists and is a problem as is racism and homophobia. But my issue is mostly that the problem isnt because the main popular ships are mlm. But so often I see the argument framed that way.

Like shipping wars existed between m/w ships and still do today. And they are still often pretty misogynistic towards the woman in the other ship. I don't even have to look at other fandoms I remember Steggy vs Starton getting real ugly.

Mysogny in fandom doesn't uniquely pop up when mlm are the more popular ship. Its often just as bad in fandoms where m/w is the popular ship. But people just bring it up alot more they make it bout valuing the men over the women .

Well i mean that goes both ways you could say its homophobic for valuing the straight ship as better than the gay one or liking it more. But either way its stupid they dont care bout sexism or homophobia only that their ship is more popular.

Thats the sentiment of all ship wars the gender dynamics and racial make up change nothing. Nothing except the bullshit you use for the ship war.

The problem is that people are being homophobic and mysogynistic and racist not just in regards to fictional characters but towards real people just to win a ship war. It comes out so easily. Thats the problem imo.

Mysogny for example i think isnt discussed as much when its a m/w vs m/w ship war or drama because as both ships have women it can't be used to slander the other ship. But when its drama between fans of a m/m and m/w it comes out alot again not because anyone really cares but because now because one ship lacks a woman it can be used as fodder for what people actually care about. Tearing down the other ship.

Again not that mlm fandom doesnt have mysogny. They definetly do. But they aren't mysogynistic because they ship two guys together. Thats not proof they hate women. Having a ship with women isnt proof that you aren't sexist towards women. There might be homophobia in fandoms of mlm ships and mysogny in fandoms of m/w ships.

But in the drama between a m/w and m/m ships that doesn't get brought up because no one cares if that problem can't be used to show that someone only doesn't ship your ship if they are bigoted against it. Who cares about misogyny if your ship is two guys? Who cares about homophobia if your ship is straight?

No one because they cared about the popularity of their ship not the actual issues.

Gonna under under the cut for length again.

This is a lot to read so I'm gonna respond paragraph by paragraph and hope for the best in terms of comprehension.

When it comes to media made about the LGBTQ+ community, you have to keep in mind when it was made, who made it, and who was it made for. And that it's been shown that straight women have had the same reactions to mlm content as straight men to wlw content. QaF was dumbfounded to find that the majority of their audience was straight women when the show's sex scenes were 95% between two or more men and yet that's what they ran with because hey, it got the views. The views of mlm and wlw content in the mainstream media before then was minimized, despite how fucked a lot of the other content could be. If by "most canon media" being directed at the male gaze being summer blockbusters, and more specifically comic book movies, then sure. If we step out of that box, then not really. The film examples you chose are interesting because BB is portrayed exactly how the author of the original short story wrote it which was meant to be heartbreaking since it was a tragic dramatic piece while JB has a woman who wrote and another woman who directed it while purposefully trying to allow to actress to have a level of sexuality without exploiting her as past directors have (also neither of the main characters are lesbians - one is bi, the other I think is straight but maybe questioning?).

The sexualization of wlw in modern western media is definitely a thing. I mean, the first Iron Man film has stewardesses on the private jet pole dancing if I remember correctly. It took until 2016 to stop sexualizing Scarlett in every movie: the changing scene in IM2, the lowered zipper in A1, the ass shot in Cap 2, the boob faceplant in AoU (in your third paragraph, but mentioning it here anyway). It's a joke that you know when a man directs a wlw indie film during the sex scenes. But the mlm equivalent did exist alongside it, and it's what kicked off the century.

Comics and their movies were always for men. The male bodies are male wish fulfilment for their physical appearance. The women are male wish fulfilment for their dream girls. Funnily enough, one of the least sexualized women in comics I've ever read is Sharon. She's rarely, if ever, drawn to be sexualized for the audience. I'm not even sure she's even been in those swimsuit issues Marvel did years ago. And it shows heavily that Marvel struggles to know how to appeal to women without being aggressively in your face about it. The best example of them appealing without pandering is WV, and the worst is the group shots the Russos did in IW and Endgame, especially the latter.

But the men get those poses in the movies too. Thor bathed shirtless for no reason in TDW. There's a scene in Endgame dedicated to talking about Steve's ass. Pratt in GotG. Rudd in Ant-Man. Most actors are expected to look good shirtless and put themselves through intense shit to look that way. So do the women, but they aren't doing it to have the glamor shots of their muscles. And the MCU is not the only film franchise like this. Most, if not all, franchises with majority or entirely male leads expects them all to look like bodybuilders. And I'm gonna take back that it's just for the male audience, because these bodies are meant to appeal to women who are intended to thirst for these actors too. They think these bodies is what will bring women to the theaters.

None of this will change, as you say, that women's sexualization is "constant and pervasive". The film industry is just a part of the larger whole of media. Television and advertising have a treatment of women that's beyond whatever you or I say because there are decades worth of shit to go through that would take dozens of essays worth of writing to fully divulge beyond "please stop it's gross".

Now DC is a whole other ballgame. They're pretty infamous for their artists' sexualization of heroines and villainesses. Harley, Ivy, and Selina are definitely pretty bad, but when I remember what I've seen drawn of Kara, Kori, or sometimes Barbara... But outside of one artist, I think Harley and Ivy as a couple have been drawn tamely. Can't say the same for Selina, because they just can't not draw every part of her body even when she's fully clothed.

I think it's hard not to talk about fandom misogyny outside of m/m ships because of how often popular m/m shippers have rooted their shipping into misogyny. And even with m/f ship wars, a lot of the time the "faulted" character is always the woman when majority of the time it's the man who sucks. I don't get why everyone is fighting for who should kiss Steve because Steve sucks and they'd be better off without him. But because Steve is the object of affection for our fave, we have to fight off everyone else.

Don't look at other fandoms for m/f ship wars. We don't appreciate how tame we were, even at our worst. I'm serious, I've seen so much worse.

I think why the topic of misogyny comes up more with m/m ships is because they follow a similar principle of the male characters being more developed in canon and fanon so it's who people gravitate towards.

There is definitely layers of homophobia in fandom, but there's many versions of how we see it. Homophobes who won't ship anything that's not m/f. Homophobes who ship m/m but won't support IRL rights. People who love m/m but abhor f/f, and vice-versa. The shippers who use them for personal fodder. But the sexism is more prevalent than the homophobia. And the racism way more than both combined.

And it does cause a lot of ammo, and much of it severely unjustified, in ship wars. Literally the bullshit I've seen pulled out of thin air to accuse Sharon of not being worthy because someone said she's a racist for [they literally had no reason just called her one because we said Sam and Sharon are friends because they are] and other nonsense.

The real world repercussions of the homophobia, the sexism, and the racism in fandom... there's just so much. Like we are all still people, and yet we decide because we hide behind screens to be antagonistic, and use homophobic, sexist, and racist shit to attack each other over ships just because we want to paint the other person as crazy, I guess? If you can't see that there are no enemies in ship wars and that the other side is still people, maybe you need to sit out and log off. It's baffling how often it still happens to people. Then it's no longer about ships, it's about who is an asshole.

I will say that Steve and Peggy vs Steve and Sharon is probably the only m/f ship war I've seen where misogyny is talked about. Is, not was, because it still is. Both sides call the others misogynistic. I don't think either side is, but you can see in individuals. Those who tweeted at a certain actress that she was a slut for kissing her costar certainly are though.

You are right that shipping m/m isn't inherently sexist. But tearing down women in those ships to prop up m/m has made me stop shipping certain characters altogether. People, seriously, we don't have to justify why we like them! We can just like them! And other characters can still exist! It's never been that deep.

And you're right, the popularity of the ship helps people ignore any deeper issues within them and this is a power used to silence valid criticism if it pops up.

(I hope I answered everything well for you.)

~Mod R

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated

[oceanflowerrs]

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood for the anime ask meme!

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

fav characters: i relate so much with edward (as lesbians are known to do), winry is very pretty, i like ling yaos character a lot, greed is very very good, etc etcleast fav characters: kimblee. i hate how they try to like redeem him a Little bit at the end by being like Woah Hes BadAss! sucks.fav relationship: edwin is one of the only het ships that i can stand and is also very cute! but everyone knows winry x paninya x lan fan is where its atfav moment: the ending. i absolutely love how much it subverts expectations and stereotypical stories. i know people call random shit subversive media all the time just because they like it, but fullmetal alchemist very legitimately is one of the best pieces of subversive anime i’ve ever seen. throughout the entire anime, the theme of sacrifice being necessary for gain is shown over and over again. the viewer begins to take this obvious theme, and come up with something. edward and alphonse need a philosopher’s stone. hohenheim is a walking stone, and he probably wants to die seeing how he’s lived several lifetimes and the only person he truly cared about is gone. so then, at the end, it’s like: alphonse is trapped in the truth, and there’s no way to get him back. hohenheim says he’s willing to sacrifice himself for alphonse’s return. he’s finally being the father he never could be, doing anything he can for his children. this would bring his character arc to a kind of obvious, but fitting conclusion. everyone there, every character, even the viewer has accepted this is the only way it can happen.

everyone except edward. ed can’t even believe what he’s hearing. he actually gets angry at him for even thinking of doing something as selfish as that. then, for the first time, edward calls hohenheim his father. he also stops holding back his emotions, and cries for the first time as well. (he cries before but its like silly jokey stuff so it doesnt count shut up)

he ends up sacrificing his alchemy, once again subverting the theme of alchemists being basically better than humans. i always loved the exchange “you’d give up your alchemy and go back to being a regular human?” “i’ve always been a regular human.” god i just fucking wrote an essay didnt i. god fullmetal alchemist good

headcanons/theories: nothing besides trans headcanons and stuff hdfsjhdfkunpopular opinion: none reallyhow’d you find it: on my first day of high school i decided to look in the library for any interesting books, and found out that they put in a manga corner. there was stuff like random, scattered volumes of naruto and i’m pretty sure the only series they had the first issue of was fullmetal alchemist. i had heard about it scarcely and decided to read it. i was quickly hooked. like, REALLY quickly. i read the whole thing front to back probably 5 times or more. i wanted to read the whole thing, and quickly found out about the anime. after hesitating a bit, i gave in and watched the whole thing, and loved every second of it. i mentioned it on my tumblr and a SUPER popular mutual at the time decided to watch and liveblog it because of my post. after that, everyone on my dash started talking fma. anyway i’m like 90% sure i’m the reason fma resurgedrandom thoughts: i prefer fmab over fma03, and i probably always will. fmab was hiromu’s intention from the beginning, while the latter half of 03 was more or less improvised. while i do think it’s very interesting to see someone else’s take on the story, i just can’t get into it. i see people say they prefer 03 and i just can’t agree. i guess it really depends on which one you watched first.

god i fucking talked a lot. fma good

[writeremblem-blog]

My Response to EruptionFang’s ‘An Honest Opinion Regarding Bumblbee’

To start, I think that everyone in this thread should watch the video, regardless of your opinion on EF or BMBLB, just so you can be sure that I'm being fair to EF's arguments and not putting words into his mouth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tVXh03kFCs&feature=youtu.be

Opening

Fang opens up with talking about his problems with relationship plots or subplots within fiction. This is actually a fair argument to make, and one I do find myself agreeing with. Relationships in entertainment are almost always forced into stories for the sake of having a relationship. Movies that are otherwise about fighting killer aliens or whatever will inevitably end up also having two characters- usually a goofy, snarky male and no-nonsense, stoic badass female- end up falling in love and kissing at the end. I could (and actually have) write an entire paper on why there are problems with A) relationships being forced into every piece of entertainment, and B) the problems with how its usually portrayed. So, yes I do think EF has a good point in this critique. (Also, I know that Blake/Yang obviously doesnt fit the dyanmic I described on how relationships in media are usually portrayed).

Volume 2 and Ship Baiting

Fang then discusses how V2 introduced relationships between characters- both romantic and platonic- as being important to the plot. He especially focuses on what he describes as 'ship-baiting' with Blake and her relationships with Sun and Yang. He spends a bit talking about how the show teases whether or not Blake will be "Straight... or is she maybe gay? Oh wait heres another gay girl- but wait heres this straight guy!"

Now, as a bisexual. I already have a problem with him deciding you have to be one or the other, but thats not really the point. His main issue hes talking about is how RWBY supposedly played up Blake's love life as being teased by the writers for "six years". Which I honestly don't see. Yes, Sun flirts with Blake from time to time, Yang's interactions with Blake are on a level that many see as romantic, Ilia is confirmed to have had (juries still out on if its still there) a crush on Blake, and Adam used to date her. But this was never the main part of Blake's character arc. Her arc has always been about her identity as a faunus and the White Fang, not how many people she can bang over the course of the series. He also talks about how the show wastes time on Blake's relationships with these characters (I guess his point about RWBY foocusing on character relationships doesn't get to apply here), which feels like a weird argument to me. If Blake didn't have such a close relationship with these four mentioned: Yang wouldn't have lost her arm, which lead to her character arc from 4 and 5 in a way; Sun wouldn't have followed Blake, which was why Blake's arc turned out the way it did; Ilia wouldn't have turned good, which means Blake's parents would likely be dead now; and Adam wouldn't have been as interesting an antagonist is he didn't have a personal connection to Blake.

Fang ends of this section talking about how lesbians are a 'safe' LGBT representation for writers in fiction, which again I agree with. This is another critique of entertainment at large that is sadly true- lesbians are 'hot' and fetishised so much by straight men esepcially that yeah, you're less likely to get backlash for that than for making a man gay or for having someone be trans. This is still a form of homophobia- lesbians aren't really allowed to be a normal couple, they have to be doing 'hot' stuff to appeal to men. So again, I agree with Fang on a critique of entertainment at large. And once again he says Blake and Yang are gay, as if us bis don't exist.

Main Argument

Fangs main thesis on why Bumblebee is a bad thing to become canon is that it "takes away from RWBY's dynamic". As he puts it:

"Now all of a sudden you have two people who care for each other more than they do the other team members."

He talks about how Yang grabs Blake's hand in the Apathy episode to lead her away from danger, and says this is bad because Yang ignored the others still in the room. I have two problems with this argument.

First, Yang was directly next to Blake, but farther away from Ruby and Weiss. She grabbed the closest hand, which was Blake.

Second: consider what had happened just before that scene. When the apathy were in the cellar with everyone, who was clearly the most affected by them? Not Weiss, and certainly not Ruby. Blake was literally unable to even stand for a while, and was hit by the apathy much harder. She was in a weaker state than anyone else, so Yang grabbing Blake's hand does actually have a reason within the show outside of shipping.

"Am I honestly to believe that Ruby or Weiss would do anything similar to what Yang is constantly doing... Its impossible to say that [Ruby] would risk her life for [Blake]."

YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT THE APATHY ARC. It wasn't Ruby herself being attacked by the apathy that set off her silver eyes- it was Blake. At the end of V6, Weiss and Ruby both share a moment to comfort Blake after she was still reeling from having killed someone directly. 6 in general deserves props from me for really showing every relationship between these friends- Ruby and Blake hugging at the end, Ren hugging Yang when he sees they're still fine, etc. Now, would I like to see Ruby and Blake interact more? As a ladybug fan, yes I would. But that doesn't mean we've not been shown that they do care a lot for each other. Fang is in my opinion being disingenuous when he says this.

He then says that Renora is an okay ship because "They're not main characters." Except that wasn't his argument about why BMBLB was a problem. He is being inconsistent here. Why doesn't he care that Ren and Nora now have someone they have a much deeper relationship with than Jaune? What is the difference?

And on that topic- does Fang think Ruby and Yang shouldn't be on a team together? As siblings, they care more about each other than say, Yang about Weiss. So doesn't that hurt the team dynamic? What's different there?

He spends a bit at the end just sort of ranting that having them be gay is forced diversity which is... a very dangerous stance to take, honestly. He's basically throwing out all of his 'I don't mind them being a thing because they're gay...' arguments because, he is pretty much now saying 'Well its different for them because they're gay...' I know this sounds nitpicky, but it is a blatant disregard of everything he had been saying up til now. I don't think EruptionFang is a homophobe or that he outright hates gay people- but I do think this specific part at the end just sort of sounds like the sort of rants you hear from far right homophobes.

He finishes up by talking about how all shipping in a show is fanservice to the audience- which, again, I agree. Shipping is fanservice and done for the audience to enjoy, so yeah he's right.

Overall, it feels like Fang is holding BMBLB to a higher standard than he does other ships and relationships. He outright admits that Renora is different to him, but the reason he gives for why it's different is a reason that wasn't connected to why he dislikes BMBLB. This makes his arguments seem dishonest, or at least as if he doesn't know himself what his reason is.

I want to reiterate- I don't think Fang hates gay people. But I do think that subtle homophobia- assumptions that everyone is gay or straight with no room for bisexuals, for instance- is influencing his opinion.

[frigfridge]

just finished rewatching toy story 1 thru 3 over the past few days, wanted to share my thoughts:

i love these movies a whole lot. the first 2 hold a bunch of nostalgia for me because i was A Baby when 2 came out and when i was also A Baby i would just watch our VHS copy of toy story 1 over and over again. this also makes me the exact age group to be emotionally destroyed by toy story 3, which came out just as i was entering high school and hit really close to home

individual thoughts:

toy story: the first thing i noticed was it still looks really nice even watching in 2019!! which i think is kind of spectacular for the first feature-length computer-animated film. it no doubt helps that the plot is mostly focused on little plastic dolls without realistic hair or clothing to animate but the semi-”cartoon” art direction means the human characters also look pretty nice without going too far into the uncanny valley.

also, the plot is WAY darker than i remember?? not because of sid and all the body horror toys, but because for like half of the movie woodys friends think hes an actual (toy) murderer carrying around the severed arm of his victim (!!) like, its hilarious, but also wow theres a LONG way to go between there and the climax of toy story 3.

the soundtrack is probably my favorite of the bunch. part of that is probably nostalgia but i just really like the consistency of having randy newman singing every song. it sort of elevates him to part of the story, like an omniscient narrator singing woodys (and later buzzs) inner monologue. 2 (and especially 3) didnt have as many musical numbers, which i can understand with a shift to a larger-scale approach to storytelling, but i really like the feeling it gives number 1. “you got a friend in me” is an obvious classic thats been remixed and brought back in just about every piece of toy story media im aware of, but “strange things” and “i will go sailing no more” deserve just as much recognition and praise. there just isnt a weak number among them

toy story 2: heres where the story started getting bigger and more existential, which basically becomes the new direction of the series. which makes sense! this one released 4 years after the first, and while theres no real timeskip in the story (maybe 6 months?) it had been a little while since we last saw woody and the gang. everybody in the real world had gotten older, and with the turn of the millennium approaching, the theme of impermanence loomed large in the collective unconscious. well, maybe not in my unconscious, because i was 2. but its really interesting as kind of a “time capsule” to what people were thinking about as the 90s came to a close.

so toy story 2 was a little more grounded, a little more focus on the human world, but it was also more fantastical in its presentation. the opening “video game” sequence (which still looks amazing!!) and woodys nightmare (”i dont wanna play with you anymore...”) show the animators at pixar really found their groove and started getting experimental. and to great result!! the fantasy sequences are a lot of fun and help 2 really stand out.

i would be remiss not to mention jessies flashback song here. its something else they hadnt really done in the first film and i think it really works. jessie in this film unfortunately doesnt get to do much other than fight with woody about whether he should stay or go (except for when she saves him in the end) but this song makes her character work. it also helps that it destroys me every time

also i think this is the movie that gave me an appreciation for the acting of kelsey grammer. i dont really agree with his politics (i also dont know specifically what they are) but he is a damn fine actor and gives the prospector a very genuinely intimidating edge after his heel turn. the casting really makes the character here, but thats nothing new for toy story-- every voice works. if i were the casting director, i probably wouldnt have pulled erudite kelsey grammer for a character named “stinky pete,” but as it is now i couldnt imagine him voiced by anyone else.

the last thing about toy story 2 is it feels like there were a lot more pop culture references? at least as far as i noticed. there are apparently even more than i noticed but i caught on to the “also sprach zarathustra” riff in the opening, and the jurassic park rearview mirror gag. and of course the extended star wars reference with zurg vs. utility belt buzz (and i guess zurg in general.) the references are cute and mostly unobtrusive but really i could take or leave them.

oh yeah also al is hilarious. just this rude, neurotic businessman whos incredibly self-important for the owner of a minor(?) toy store chain. hes such a puffed-up jerk, every time hes on-screen is a delight

toy story 3: this one kills me to death. i always get misty-eyed during “when somebody loved me” but the ending of 3 where andy introduces his toys to bonnie and plays with them one last time made me sob the first time i watched it. and it still does! thats the long game right there, thats the payoff of over 10 years loving these characters. its an emotional ketchup bomb, everything gets all messy and soggy and sweet. hopefully 4 can follow up, but im not really worried about that-- ive heard some good things. damn, its been 9 years since this movie came out, though! it really doesnt feel all that long, but i guess i havent been doing all that much

i actually dont know if i have much else to say about 3. the opening with the re-imagining of the previous films openings (woody versus one-eyed bart, buzz and woody vs. the evil dr. porkchop) is a highlight, although theres a conspicuous lack of bo peep. ive heard she has a big part in 4, but it was kind of weird to see a lot of toys missing and their absence (mostly) glossed over after the first few minutes. i miss r.c. and lenny, but i get they wanted to narrow down the cast so all of them could get in on the plot.

speaking of which, the escape scene is great too. its kind of a crystallizing moment of how close these characters are, and how well they work together. it reminds me a lot of the escape from sids house in the first movie, but there woody was working with sids body-horror toys and seemed to strike up a rapport with them bizarrely quickly. (speaking of which, i miss those toys! their designs were super cool, but i cant imagine they got much merchandise, especially babyface with the sharp, metal spider legs.) here, though, woody and the gang cooperate the best they ever have, and it really paints a picture of how close theyve become over the years, and justifies the emotional climax in the landfill. this is what i was talking about when i said i was surprised how dark toy story 1 got! these toys all hated woodys guts back then for what they thought he did to buzz. they kicked him out of a moving truck! its just weird to think about that conflict between them when you know how long they end up sticking together. but thats, like, neat, so its ok. it feels earned, its just kind of crazy in hindsight.

toy story 3 was also obviously made long after the first two-- by comparison, the lighting is way more sophisticated, the humans are a lot more detailed. theres just a lot more detail In General. the main cast is, like, super dirty for the middle 90% of the film, and it feels like, yeah, We Have This Technology Now. we can render so many individual glitter sprinkles suck to hamms ass and they will be in every single scene. the “fur tech” on lotso and buster is also an obvious clue, especially in the flashback to lotso trudging through the rain back to his owners house. its like “look! we can make this teddy bear SO wet!” and wow! yeah! you did! so wet!

lotso himself is also an interesting villain in terms of sheer bastardness. he is just a huge jerk. he could have hit that button so easily! and he was so mean to the baby! but at the same time hes a great character in how he slowly “changes” throughout the movie. he is kind of an obvious “pixar ‘twist’ villain” but again, the amazing performance by ned beatty really saves him. also he does get a nice comeuppance at the end, which was necessary because hes really the biggest villain in the series so far. hes knowingly malicious and doesnt have any greater motive, hes just an embittered megalomaniac who (apparently) has sent other toys to be broken, thrown away, and incinerated at the landfill. he honestly deserves worse than being strapped to the front of a truck but it works for a family movie.

i have a couple more thoughts on 3 (i guess i did have a fair amount of stuff to say about it) but im getting tired of writing. the music is good as usual, but the vocal stuff being entirely back-loaded (in the credits) is a bit disappointing since ive always been a fan of the songs, but i get that they were going for something different. the jokes about ken being, uh, ‘flamboyant’ felt out of place, mostly the one at the end (”uh, buzz? barbie didnt write this”) because it comes from one of the gang and not unnamed lotso goon #3, but i guess its pretty tame in the scheme of things.

overall im really looking forward to seeing what 4 does with the series. whew!

[twiddlebirdlet]

Post Digest

I had so many posts yesterday, and I could not possibly answer them all in this lifetime. My apologies for not addressing these, but here they are.

The words belong to the anonymous original writers. They do not reflect my opinions. My posting of them doesn’t imply any endorsement.

· Anonymous said:

Chris really is trash for ruining another relationship maybe him and Jordyn woods can join the home wrecker club

·  Anonymous said:

Mood, give up. People will blame you, the girl, the weather, everything but Chris, who could have easily avoided any assumption by not taking the pics. Pics with kids, pic of dog, hospital visits, videos for sick children all this is good PR and he used in the past. But where is the good on taking pics with dancers? They were not fans. He is not helping to make them being respected or less objectified. He is not bringing any discussion about their work conditions to the table.

·  Anonymous said:

People saying this is nothing how do they explain her boyfriend deleting all of her pix? If it was nothing if she wasn’t with him why is boyfriend reacting that way?

·  Anonymous said:

That girl was so completely lusting after Chris in her pics and posts that I think she absolutely would jump out of her current relationship if Chris so much as blinked her way. She was going to go anywhere he was. I will wait to see what happens but it looks like Chris may have made another poor decision. Why is this man so intelligent in some things but when it comes to women he is just so way off? If he thought SSH was bad, just wait for a young social media millennial. Disaster.

·  Anonymous said:

Bella & her bf are still following each other on Instagram. Maybe he deleted those photos of her as a way of protecting her? Maybe he didn't want to make his Insta private & thought this would be a better way of doing things. In any case, he doesn't seem angry enough at her to unfollow her. But I don't think they broke up before the Chris thing, as he still had their professional couple photos up & they were still posting gushy comments to each other. So it's still weird and suspicious.

·  Anonymous said:

What is up with Chris and taken women

·  Anonymous said:

So I guess Chris really is a home wrecker

·  Anonymous said:

I just want to say thank you for all the information you're providing about this whole Chris situation. I'd rather have the full (or as full as we can get it) story with all the pieces together so I can make up my own mind what to think, vs bits and pieces and people misreporting information that they heard third hand, etc. So your summary post with receipts was very much appreciated by me.

·  Anonymous said:

To me the whole intern thing just seemed like she was trying to be linked to him judging by the times the ig pics went up. I guess everyone has their own opinions I know people who have basically said it was nothing and refused to talk about it but if it was someone else they would be all over it. It seems with him people pick and choose what issues of his they want to discuss. All of just seemed iffy especially know knowing that her bf deleted her pics. Hope you're have a lovely day.

·  Anonymous said:

I’m worried about the people worried about your health. They’re so invested in this celebrity that they are policing your blog. He’s a successful, famous actor. He has a whole team of people to handle this. And, none of those people are contacting you...

·  Anonymous said:

I don't get anons coming in here and complaining that you answering asks about the saturday night events is somehow blowing this thing up and causing drama. This anon should go to twitter where there are accounts that tag CE, JS, enty and provoking more and more ridiculous accusations, including Chris roofying Bella's drink etc. Twiddle at least sticks to things we can prove so if you wanna complain, go there and set these people straight. They make real damage not anonymous tumblr

·  Anonymous said:

The boyfriend could just be fed up with her throwing herself at ce and then getting comments forcing him to go private. That would be enuf for a 20 yr old in a long distance relationship. Doesn’t mean she is shaking up with ce. He’s too paranoid to do that

·  Anonymous said:

From what I've seen on Twitter, there's a little bit of talk about the burlesque aspect of it (mostly "Ugh, you're all such prudes, get over it!") but no one seems to be picking up on the intern part of it except for like 3 people. I'm torn. I kind of want to see him get shit for this, because he was very stupid and irresponsible, but OTOH I'd hate to see what kind of PR crap his people will pull up to distract everyone. A PRomance with Brie Larson, perhaps.

·  Anonymous said:

Just a funny coincidence but it appears her (ex) bf and Chris share the same birthday lol. But either way not looking good. We can only speculate but it looks like her ex bf/bf didn't like her behavior towards him or something really did go down. 🦊

·  Anonymous said:

I think everyone needs to accept their portion of responsibility in this situation. The people that harassed or contacted the interns, the girl and the performers need to respect boundaries. I understand you posts Anons, but you also decide which and how many. Yesterday you provided a platform and it had consequences, people felt emboldened and crossed lines. I think everyone can learn from this experience and correct their future behavior.

·  Anonymous said:

So you keep saying your not sure if mark was there when multiple people keep saying he was.YOU keep saying that the pics were taking at the same or about the same time but theres no proof that they were. YOU keep putting out info that isnt accurate or just coincidental. that girl bf realise his gf is a thirsty ass and she got what she got but it doesnt mean anything happen between her and chris. NOTHING HAPPEN WITH THE INTERN STOP SPREADING SHIT!!

·  Anonymous said:

I think the bf just wanted people to stop harassing him about her so he did that instead of privatize. Seemingly less like a breakup.

·  Anonymous said:

It’s possible and probable her boyfriend deleted any pictures of her/them because he was tired of being harassed and getting bombarded with comments. He still follows her. He could have just muted the comment section, but maybe he was hoping by doing that it would help this all die down, and for people to lose interest. Which is laughable, because this particular fandom has a hard time letting go. Either way, I don’t necessarily think this is the beginning of a new relationship for Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

Sending you love! I truly enjoy your blog and your commentary. What you wrote about your struggles with OCD resonates with me (I had anxiety issues as a teenager. Mild in comparison to some, but they dominated my life). I will try not to clutter your inbox from now on, but, please know you are appreciated and I love the discussions we have here.

·  Anonymous said:

I think that putting the blame on this or other blog is a total waste of time. You know what would have avoided all this? Not taking those pics. How hard would be for him to STOP doing something that is doing no good to him? As you said, nothing positive comes out of this. He is not attending the ask of a cute kid. He is not visiting a hospital. He is helping a club to promote their name, something totally uncessary for an actor who reached his fame.

·  Anonymous said:

The intern thing didn't make the rounds in the internt, but the meeting with Dan Creshaw did. Chris is being criticized for that and for the twitter interaction.

·  Anonymous said:

Oy, its looking like she really did risk it all. Dumb childish mentality, what did anybody honestly expect from this situation? That poor boyfriend.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't think it's a proof that something happened between her and Chris but for sure her bf (probably now ex) didn't aprove her behaviour and probably he thinks that some limits were crossed. I have to admit that I would not like to have a bf acting like that around a famous woman or any other woman and leaving traces in SM which is worse. I really, really hope that Chris is smart enough to stay away from that or another kind of fame will get attached to him besides the "f*ck boy" image.

·  Anonymous said:

WHOA! Deleting all her pics? Does that mean Chris successfully ruined another relationship??? Whuut!?

·  Anonymous said:

You are very kind and your head is definitely on straight. You’re less of an “opinion” blog and almost more of a news blog anyways. Don’t listen to the haters. You aren’t being overly invested, cruel, silly, or anything else. I’ve always found you to be fair.

·  Anonymous said:

I looked at mark’s following list and he followed one other intern (a girl) who was also in the city but didn’t post from the box!

·  Anonymous said:

Tbh, good for her bf-her behavior (the comments) were completely inappropriate IF in a relationship, long distance or not. Unbelievably disrespectful to him. Hope her thirstiness was worth losing a relationship and (maybe) an internship. I am several years older, but there is no way I would have behaved that way during my college internship. Morality clauses apply to personal time as well.

·  Anonymous said:

Omg he deleted every pic with her. So now we know for sure that something happened that night lol

·  Anonymous said:

And now apparently twitter thinks harpy was there with Chris and they're back together. Oh for fuck's sake!

·  Anonymous said:

It's funny because many Chris instagram fan accounts just share the pic of him and the black singer/stripper but skip posting the other with the women group with clothes close to the nothing that they find I guess too trash for share with their followers in saying Chris with a fan in NYC without details.

·  Anonymous said:

In the name of everybody sorry for the large number of asks we sent you and the tiredness we,people agree or not agree, have caused you. We don't think when we send you an ask that you will receive many, everybody, after seeing one and your answer, wanting share their opinion about what an anon or you said even if it's for exprime our agreement. It's a circle without end. I hope you had a good night. Let's forget that,this girl is history now,the fire is extinguished now. Kiss

·  Anonymous said:

I've been seeing this gifset on my dashboard lately from Chris' interview captioned "I'm smarter than I look". No idea if the quote is real because I've never seen this particular interview but I think given the turn of events of the past few days it's appropriate to say "no, Chris, you aren't" LOL

·  Anonymous said:

Ok, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this whole messy situation really turns me off. I've always known Chris isn't a saint, that he's NOT Steve Rogers irl, going to clubs like The Box is not a new thing for him, but he should've known better. I want to believe he's not that dumb, but he's THAT dumb. This is really upsetting and I'm so disappointed. After all those good days working on a serious project in DC, does he really not care about his image being sleazy like that? Damn it, Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

So Chris alone went to greet the dancers? From what Manuel submitted, that’s what it seems like. She wasn’t there with him and his friends exactly, but somehow found out where they were and met up with them? I’m so over talking about this. Idk how you’ve done this all day Twiddle. My bedtime prayer is dedicated to you tonight.

·  Anonymous said:

Thank you Twiddle for taking your time to answer here and on DM. I know you also do it so that you will be best informed to answer any questions here, we appreciate that some took the time to gather more information for the rest of us. It seems like at the end of these gossip we all end up confirming our first guest. I feel we shouldn't give this girl more room. My conclusion for the day is either he never thought that girl was that thirsty or he's really just dumb. I'm going with cute but dumb

·  Anonymous said:

It's not a great look for him to be pictured at places like that, particularly when he's employed by a family-friendly company like Disney. He's been obsessed with protecting his image ever since he got the role of Cap. Btw, I am not surprised he goes to places like that but you'd think he'd be smart enough not to get his picture taken.

·  Anonymous said:

Have people forgotten that one of these thirsty hanger-on types (just like this intern seems to be) is someone who sent a video of Chris to tmz? I mean, he wasn't doing anything bad-just partying it up after a super bowl and he looked like a drunk frat boy. But even that got a dodger pic response. My point is that he should be smarter about people around him, especially when he's drunk.

·  Anonymous said:

Denying pics comes with its own risks. You don’t want to piss people off because that can have its own dangers. This has happened with other celebs. There have been several occasions where his pics have been in return for free bottle service or other perks. I am not saying that is the case here though. Not trying to argue with you mod, just saying it’s not black and white. A lot of mistakes were made here and the worst part is how avoidable it was. But most seem to hinge on Bella’s actions. 🐩

·  Anonymous said:

Mark follows a few of the interns from DC, 2 of whom (Bella & another woman) posted from NYC Saturday night & this evening. Also a few of Mark's friends are NYC as well. It's not far fetched that going to The Box was his idea. Also Mark would've needed to make a reservation to ensure they got in.

·  Anonymous said:

I think you hit the nail. What Chris gets from taking those pics? For sure he is being polite and the people involved get happy but taking how society works and how many people think and what they can do with that information, he got nothing good on posing for those pics. And saying that is just pointing out and realising how society works. People are hypocrite and mysoginist.

·  Anonymous said:

I feel you on the eating away at your Sunday. It’s not my blog and even *I* can’t believe how much time I’m devoted to this, much less the swamp you must be dealing with. Really appreciate your views and your time. I feel so silly that I’ve gotten so caught up in it but it’s like a car accident you can’t turn away from. Get some rest and lots of love. 🐩

·  Anonymous said:

People been posting Info but clearly no one believes it. That tree anon mention it.

·  Anonymous said:

People who are saying Mark was there and that she was there with a group of friends are just assuming as much as anyone else who says Chris and the girl were there with each other. The only thing we know for sure is that they were both on the same place, at the same night, around the same time, after meeting the day before. We can't deny that.

·  Anonymous said:

I’d like to say this girl blew her chances but this is the same guy who gave MK & JS multiple chances despite their fame whoring ways. Whatever it is it won’t last long but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re seen together again. Too bad. His political project was exciting. Now it’s tainted because he’s proven what a lot of people thought of him to be true.  

·  Anonymous said:

You need to let it go now. This is a non story. It’s looking more like two separate trips were in the works and it was a “oh hey us too maybe we’ll see you we were thinking of checking out this club” now apparently you think because he’s ancient and she’s an impressionable child and burlesque shows are akin to live porn he should have shut it down. But those of us in the common sense world see this for what it was. Which is a giant nothing. So tip to TMZ. Guarantee they will think the same.

·  Anonymous said:

For gods sake. Read and post my second ask to you. Stop all this madness. Yes they know each other. That is it. They were at same club and of course hung out a little. So what They met at first dc meet I think. He was nice to her She was nice back. Nothing wrong with people meeting and being cool. Even if famous

·  Anonymous said:

Maybe I should rewrite this but Your acting as they were they in DC together. They MET and photographed but wasnt there together as Your wording puts it. Like I said you dont know of they were backstage together. Pics can be upload at any time of the night . Your just jumping to conclusions like everyone else.

·  Anonymous said:

The way some of you talk about women is so damn depressing ugh this fandom is on one today.

·  Anonymous said:

Liked what the PR/crisis anon mentioned, that it's wrong to think Chris was uninvolved in JS and MK's stunts when he dated them. It's naive to think he is that helpless and easily controlled.

·  Anonymous said:

What i really don't understand is how chris could have been so so dumb and didn't think of the consequences. Also his pr underestimated the whole situation. The girl was blatantly seeking attention and a story to tell, and any person with a brain would have got the danger of the all situation. I know that he loves partying but he was so superficial i can't even put into words. In my opinion the project has been hurt by this and everything happened today showed that.

·  Anonymous said:

2/2) as if he wanted to do that. I doubt he asked, but was asked to do it. 3) The girl jumped on the chance to go backstage after the invitation and took the pic. 4) People put the pieces together because the girl was thirsty the day before and liked the attention she got from her friends but now there is a chance she ruined the trip a little as people ran to protect their privacy.

·  Anonymous said:

I think if Chris wants to be taken seriously in what ever he decides to do. He needs to grow up and act his age and stop drinking as much and hang around different people that includes his friends from Boston. I feel most of his friends are just there for the ride including Tara. If he does ever get married she will have to trust him to no end.

·  Anonymous said:

"it's not at all weird for people here on a blog that is predominantly about Chris to talk more about chris' antics than about anyone else's. It doesn't mean they're more worried or think what he's done is worse, it's just that this blog is a place to talk about him more than anyone else. Nice try though." Nice try what? If you read the full ask, as Chris's fan, I'm more concerned that's he's doing publicity pics with treasonous Nazis than hanging at a burlesque show w/ an intern. But you do you

·  Anonymous said:

Hi! Sorry for this question but I just don´t understand what is going on here with Chris and this intern? I try to scroll down your page but I still don´t understand what has happened.

·  Anonymous said:

Some who don't have problem that Bella flies to NY and post the picture at the same place where was Chris was the first to be offend that Jenny posts pic when she was at the same place that Chris whereas she was dating him. Be careful anons I'm not a pro Janey but people were rude with her when it was normal(even if she trolled), she was spending time with his boyfriend but when another women did the same, without dating him, they think it's okay. Why?

·  Anonymous said:

I'm genuinely curious about what kind of impression he was trying to make on her? like you wanna hook up with this chick & you're letting her know that you like to gawk at other half naked chicks in your free time? Unfortunately this will never blow up, if his PR team can bury homewrecker scandal then they can bury anything.

·  Anonymous said:

He seems to unconsciously be attracted to attention-seeking women who view him as a prize. I wonder if it’s a defense mechanism to prevent him from entering a serious relationship? Also, seriously, why wouldn’t you just make it clear to her that she shouldn’t post their escapades on social media from the start? Has he learned nothing from the Jobby debacle????

·  Anonymous said:

Okay, from her comments and that pose, that's a girl that has no problem pushing someone out the way to get noticed. Like the pic, the side she was on was trying to get four people in, compared to the 3 on the other, so they had to turn sideways. I can see her making sure she was the one next to him. She didn't have to put her hand on his shoulder or stomach. She was trying for his attention. Did she get it? Don't know. Don't really care, but that's a college-age Janey. Just want that fame.

·  Anonymous said:

Now that there are pics of them together and seeing the way she's posing with her hands on his chest and shoulder (it is very reminiscent of SSH, isn't it? Which would hurt if I was js lol) taken with the comments from her and her friends, all I can say is YIKES. And also, SMH. I am not a prude and I actually like burlesque and have been to The Box and fully expected him to hook up with somebody in DC ~on the low~ but even I can say this is not a good look for him. This boy will never learn.

·  Anonymous said:

I’d like to think that he’d cut all ties to Bella now the he’s created a PR nightmare for himself, yet again. But considering for almost 3 years he was involved with a woman who was married when they originally met & got involved, I don’t think he will care. At least Jenny was almost the same age as him. He’s looking like an upgraded version of Dane Cook. For anyone who doesn’t know, Dane Cook’s girlfriend is 19, they started dating when she was 18, but were “friends” before that 🙄🤢

·  Anonymous said:

The more I see from this girl the more I think she’s just a thirsty very immature little girl. And has no idea what she could potentially cost Chris. But he’s not innocent as she found out where he was going somehow.. And then posted it everywhere. Him or his team should have warned them to be cautious. And once they arrived not continued to entertain them and allow them backstage. An adult would have said nice to see you I’m going over here goodbye. Just another dumb d*#k brain decision.

·  Anonymous said:

Oh, man... the boyfriend. I didn't even think about him. Can you imagine if the situation was reverse and her bf was acting that way towards a famous woman? I can imagine myself on that situation and I wouldn't like it. Even if she was just joking, which i don't think she was just doing that, it would be disrespectfull. I hope he is not hurt.

·  Anonymous said:

Tks for the clarifycation for don't hate the player. So the girl had no shame to run after a man who has close the double of her age just because he is famous. Not sure she is again with her boyfriend but if she is, he would be very happy. It's clear,even if Chris makes bad choices in women, he wouldn't do nothing with her, discretion level he couldn't count on her. 5min with him and she shared and tried already trash things.

·  Anonymous said:

And Chris, wearing that Red Sox cap in NYC will bring you a lot of unwanted attention ;)

·  Anonymous said:

He was probably advised to stay away from twitter or he decided to do that.

·  Anonymous said:

"He doesn’t deserve to be placed on a pedestal. " Literally no personal should be put on a pedestal. NO ONE. Mothers, fathers, friends, siblings, celebrities, every single person does stupid shit or has 'problematic' opinions. If you place anybody (family, friends, celebrities) on a pedestal, you're only looking to get disappointed.

·  Anonymous said:

Lets be real-Chris is charming, he is a schmoozer. He was working the crowd in DC. If you are nice to someone, than you get your interview. This time he snagged a desperate fan girl & hung out with her. Not the type of guy I would ever want to be involved with. I could not be w/ a guy that wanted to go to those types of clubs. I think SSH didn't like it either. If this is the life he wants to live he will either have to find a person ok with it, change or be single. 10 steps back for me.

·  Anonymous said:

I think she is just a fan with a crush and people are reading into this way too much. I don’t think that’s her hand on his shoulder and the pose is also something we’ve seen in comic con pics. Her “way good friend lol” to means she is joking because he isn’t. The “don’t hate the player hate the game” is again joking and means don’t be mad at her because she got to meet him and her friend didn’t. Was there flirting ? Maybe but we know he does with everyone and she might thought it was just her.  

·  Anonymous said:

I don't know how publicits work. Do they keep track of the mentions of their clients in SM? I wonder if Chris' publicist is already checking the situation. TIME FOR A DODGER PIC IF YOU ARE READING HERE!!!!!

·  Anonymous said:

I find it hard to believe Chris would use this venture to go fishing for a college aged hookup or girlfriend. He mentions age and sneaking into bars in that video, so he also knew her (Bella’s) approximate age. I have no doubt he gets plenty of action and isn’t a saint, but this truly seems like she is playing up something that doesn’t exist. I question her more than him here, again, because he knows this is an important project with “real life” important people, not hollywood actors.

·  Anonymous said:

Chris seems so immature. I know we want to put the blame on Janey and MK and all the other girlfriends but honestly am I the only that thinks maybe it’s HIM who’s the problematic one? Idk I’m young so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about lol

·  Anonymous said:

All this shot is crazy. I’m know Chris is no saint but come on! At least let her be in her late twenties or early thirties! That’s nasty because she’s two years younger than me!

·  Anonymous said:

I’m not down for slut shaming in any regard. If anything happened, Chris was most definitely down for it. I just think it was dumb on her part, because she posted about it. Any potential employers could see this as a red flag. They don’t want to deal with the fallout of an employee causing a potential PR scandal, especially in the political world. Like if she did this once, she’ll prob do it again. I don’t think she’s gunning to be Mrs. Evans, but she def wanted to party and maybe hook up.

·  Anonymous said:

There was another video of him sending a message to a different person on a different day. I don't think the fact she ask him to do that means anything

·  Anonymous said:

For someone who seemed smart enough to get near a HW star, she sure was pretty naive and had no clue on how this fandom work LOL

·  Anonymous said:

But what damage could be done ? It’s not like he did something bad. There is no need to excuse his behavior because nothing illegal was done it’s not like he was caught with a 17 year old in a “massage parlour”. You guys also need to stop with this “he is almost 40” like he was supposed to stop having fun and living his life at 35. If you don’t like it fine don’t live YOUR life that way but don’t be mad at him for refusing to just settle and die because he is “almost 40” .

·  Anonymous said:

Not be agree with the places Chris frequents doesn't mean we think he is Cap. I have enought to hear this explication, like we are too much stupid to make the difference between the actor and the role he plays. With the conversation we have here, the majority of anons aren't teenagers i guess. A lot of people don't feel comfortable with the sex industry(porno,stripclub or the one night stand). It would be my brother,my neighbour,my cousin,it's a vice we don't understand not naivety about Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't have much to say about this situation but I wouldn't be surprised if it does turn out to be something sleazy. I mean, this is a guy who had an affair with his married co-star and just a few weeks after she actually left her husband for him, he was going to strip clubs & she was tweeting about how that upset her. So he's not always a stand up guy. Mostly I find it funny that even when the girl is a young intern not in HW, she's STILL an attention seeking type. His picker is so broken.

·  Anonymous said:

Well, Chris definitely has a type.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't think that people are being judgemental but more worried about the consequences that this could create. Internet can make things scalate too quickly and even change the facts. But let's be honest. Chris is white, male, straight, rich. He will be ok. But he has to stop taking pics in those places. Remember when he was dating JS and he went to a certain place in Canada? No pics, people left it behind. That's the right thing to do. No pics, so it's as if it didn't happen.

·  Anonymous said:

Burlesque clubs in NYC are often listed in magazines as “things to do” in the city. They are seen as touristy activities. I can see a young girl being excited to go & asking for a hookup to get vip treatment. The place is not what you guys are making it out to be.

·  Anonymous said:

Oh please. How should he have celebrated international women’s day ffs. This is starting to get ridiculous. Women. Including 20 year old ones are allowed to go to burlesque clubs. Get out of here with that comment. And if you’re going to invoke a feminist day maybe consider the fact that she went of her own volition? I mean this insinuation that he took a naive child to a strip club. It’s starting to get a bit unhinged up in here.

·  Anonymous said:

Are we forgetting he got involved with a whole ass married woman? Lmao, this whole situation is not much of a stretch as people are making. I wish he’d grow up like all of you. He talks the talk of wanting to be a husband and father. He paints himself as a family man. Which yes, he is family oriented. But then he does things like this, which are unfortunately also on brand given his past. Megan, his publicists names I believe, better be getting paid time and half putting out these fires lol.

·  Anonymous said:

Right but this is like barely a scandal. We’re just focused on it and there are some social media comments. So for all those saying he should be seen doing serious things umm he is? For the casual fan his serious image is 100% in tact. And my guess is will stay that way. This will blow over in 48 hours tops. It’s not getting any traction other than gossip corners of the internet. Being seen seriously doesn’t mean living like a monk ffs. He didn’t do anything wrong, y’all just dramatic and judgy.

·  Anonymous said:

I think we can all agree no matter what the reality might be, the optics aren’t great. If him &his friend are trying to get this new project off the ground in DC, and hes being photographed in a burlesque club in NYC in the same vicinity as DC interns, the DAY AFTER giving interviews, the optics are awful. Politicians would be quick to distance themselves from their project and with those hes already met, potentially wouldn’t give him their time again, especially if their interns are involved.

·  Anonymous said:

fans saying he should live his life however he wants-nobody is saying he shouldn't. But people shouldn't be naive enough to think that optics don't matter. They matter a lot.

·  Anonymous said:

If the other interns were there they were smart not to post about it. Like that other anon said I imagine the people in D.C. will not be happy about this I’m sure there are social media rules about how to behave.

·  Anonymous said:

Mark's been to The Box before, he's posted stories from his trips there.

·  Anonymous said:

Some are ok to see a 38 years old man having habits in strip,nightclub and before Playboy party. Good. Some women don't like men like it!Chris or not Chris! I find it perverse,it's all. Frat boys aren't my type of men and great my man isn't like it. And i don't see Chris change when he will be married. There will always be a Mark or an Adam for ask him to go. Scott seems to enjoy trashy club but Zack too so they go as a couple. Maybe am i too prude 😒

·  Anonymous said:

This truly blew up fast. Not a Pats fan, but a few years ago, Edelman hooked up w/ a girl he met out partying & she posted a pic of them in bed the next morning on Snapchat. I’m not saying that Chris hooked up with her, we will never know & honestly it’s no one’s business. But both situations definitely seemed opportunistic, but at least with this one people are holding Chris accountable too. The other girl got slut shamed majorly. Like girls, you don’t have to post everything on social media.

·  Anonymous said:

Even if there were more interns there, even if Mark was there with Chris... if they went with the interns it's still not a good look. They are both near their 40's. It's a no to rang out with 20's, principally in that kind of enviroment that revolves around sex. This could be used to damage his image, his career, this could be used to damage their initiative about the political site. It just take one article or one tweet from a Trump supporter with many followers for that.

·  Anonymous said:

She may or may not have been the only intern with him. She may or may not have ended up with him last night. This time it’s slipped on social media. Imagine all the other times it hasn’t! Disappointed if he’s on the same Leo, Cary Fukunaga and Jake train but are we surprised? Women around his age think differently, and clearly he’s not settling down this minute. Wonder what else would leak. I’ll be here with my tea and popcorn.

·  Anonymous said:

This doesn’t look good, but at the same time I feel bad for this girl and her BF, fellow interns, friends, etc. Suddenly a rabid fan base is combing through their every move trying to play detective. I get the curiosity, I’m curious too, but I know how people overreact. And while most are fine, already people are crossing the line and commenting. Not a kick on you, just kinda crazy the lengths that some go to. I’m so glad I grew up without social media for most of my life.

·  Anonymous said:

don cheadle once saying on a talk show that the cast of the avengers(including chris of course) all went to a burlesque bar in london. ALL of them. it's not a crime...or is it??? and as for that bella chick going wit him?? who the hell wouldn't go if we were invited? good for her.

·  Anonymous said:

I feel that a conveniently timed Dodger video (or photo) is imminent. Or will we go really old school with a video for a sick child? Some sort of distraction from the current (I agree ,totally inappropriate) drama. Thing is that sort of tactic will only work for so long, less and less people will forget each time. While there's no problem visiting a burlesque club,hell I've been myself, it's the company you take to the club that should be more carefully considered. Not a smart move.

·  Anonymous said:

Of course he has pr. But people don’t understand how pr works. He doesn’t clear every private dumb decision with them and ask for professional pr advice. He lives his life (and makes dumb mistakes clearly!) but typically a professional pr team isn’t involved unless it affects him professionally, like blows up into a scandal affecting his image and work. They don’t babysit his private life. We’re all fired up about it on our corner of the internet but we’re not really at a true scandal.

·  Anonymous said:

People were rightfully dragging Cavill for dating a 19 year old.Chris went to a strip/ burlesque club with a young girl (since one woman posted about them on the birthday video we know they were there together) and there are people still thinking this is ok? (Not saying you do mood) He is stupid many times: one for doing it, one for thinking that is ok, one for leaving traces of it.Oh, wait.The girl is the one who left the traces. That remember me of someone else who used to leave proofs behind.

·  Anonymous said:

Ok. I remember when him an Janey broke up, and a few weeks later he was in Houston for the Super Bowl. Him and his friends met some girls at a party, and he invited some of them back to the house with them. Some videos were uploaded. I don’t think this is that different. He went away for a trip, met a girl, and invited her along for the ride. More than likely this is nothing, and this girl is just being opportunistic. He really needs to pick ladies who can use discretion in the future.

·  Anonymous said:

I think this is just an example of how celebrity image works. If you aren’t part of Chris fandom or gossip you have no clue. Just a basic google news search for him right now shows his DC rounds and Captain Marvel tweet. And that’s the image he wants to have (and I think genuinely does to a point). But isolated Instagram pics that don’t fit easily into a narrative are never going to get traction. Sure they’ll always be there because internet, but give it another week and it’ll barely be a blip.

·  Anonymous said:

Chris is this guy who invite strangers during party/games night in his house or girls who his friends and him met to à bar for partying in friend's house(the tmz video after the end of round 1),it's seem to be how he is but he is the guy, in doing that who trust in everybody and after there are these kind of pic/video not flattering in not flattering place. I see some say he is single so he's enjoy it but he did it when he was with JS, her tweet where she was upset to his bf going to stripclub.

·  Anonymous said:

This would not be blowing up if this bella girl had seemed to be in the company of the same friends at the box as she went to NYC with but that is not the case. Mark might have been with them too but why would this rocky lanes person only follow bella's IG and not Mark's too?

·  Anonymous said:

All of this stuff is already on twitter and instagram tagging Chris, Megan and even Josh for some reason...

·  Anonymous said:

Maybe i missed something, but what’s wrong with Chris taking pics in that club or wherever he was & why couldnt the girl(s) put the pic on her ig

·  Anonymous said:

I haven't heard the video but the "my way good friend" comment seems like a joke. Like "this is my very famous friend who I just met and we're already close" And I think that if he denied those girls of taking a picture he'll be criticize, and considering what they work in and those outfits, seems to me like he ows them that little courtesy 🙄 cause

·  Anonymous said:

My phone was acting weirs so I don't know if my last ask got through: this bella girl is in NYC with friends from DC and a guy named doug, who works in DC, and has also met Chris is with her. If you go through their IG stories they spent the day together but she is the only one of them to post from the box something.

·  Anonymous said:

High end club or not, I checked the pic bellanovemberr posted with the women in her stories and their room seems cheap and have holes in the ceiling. It doesn't matter how expensive those places are, I always at least side eye how they treat women. Their employees deserve better and more respect.

·  Anonymous said:

C'mon! It is one of the most exclusive night clubs in NY. I read the reviews of The Box on the web and there’s nothing wrong with attending such a place. It is not absolutamnete a local “hard”. as he quotes a review I found: “It’s definitely not a local hard if any of you are asking, it’s fun, crazy and weird … it totally reflects New York.”

And, maybe, it was the birthday video girl who invited Chris to go there.

·  Anonymous said:

Do you think it’d be weird if Chris hooked up with a 20 year old...I mean look at Leo Dicaprio and his girlfriend

·  Anonymous said:

Some people have serious problems with celebrities (here: Chris), pedestals, and managing their own fantasies and expectations. They build them up up up, and inevitably get SERIOUSLY broken hearted, hurt, and bitter, when the celeb in question obviously fails to live up to them. I mean, how can they? They're human, and almost never actually aware of these expectations. And I wish I could say that these fans are young and inexperienced, but a lot of them are adults, so...

·  Anonymous said:

"Her IG is also followed by Mark Kassen, who is also in New York." Mark followed her the same day she posted that video.

·  Anonymous said:

I'm not naive to think single/married man and other famous actors don't go to those places but how many of them have pics taken there? None. I checked the club and it's a sort of freak show club too and celebs are part of the customers. A Vanity Fair article mentioned some names. But no pics. So it doesn't stick with them. It can be said that it's hipocritical go there and refuse pics but it would be the best decision for his image. Let's bet he will post a pic of Dogder?

·  Anonymous said:

Recently I came across this Don Cheadle interview on Seth Meyers, where he talked about him,Evans,RDJ,Hemsworth & Renner going to Burlesque club in London & nobody recognising them on street so I guess they all are into this kind of entertainment but only this guy is dumb enough to take pics

·      Anonymous said:

That girl’s comment about SSH made me laugh! Hope he had fun at that burlesque bar! Establishments like those are sooo nice.

                                                                                                                                 ·      Anonymous said:                                                 

The fact his boyfriend(ex now) deleted all the pics of her means himself discovered how is she is: at the same time she was dating him she doesn't have qualms to touch too much a man who has the double of his age, play like she said and pursue him in NY in a burlesque show, that imply naked women and alcohol when he was in far away of her. She didn't do all the things without have something in mind. She lost her boyfriend for have the attention of Chris for few hours. Well play girl.      

·     Anonymous said: 

I don’t think that one who makes a happy birthday video like this to a girl for her twenties, surprising her age so young, then he decides to have fun with a girl of the same age or little more.

[mits-archive]

Could you please do 22, 26, and 29 from the "Hi I'm not from the US" ask game?

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

I am proud that our social system is good actually, compared to others. We dont have to pay uni fees at all except for our public transport ticket and uni books. we have services that help even with these expenses if ur parents cannot cover it for you. unemployed people get a place to live and money. everyone has a health insurance (or, technically) and health care doesn’t cost thousands like in the USA. everyone is paying a bit so everyone can go to the doctor or hospital or call the ambulance without paying anything. the only thing u gotta pay for is maybe expensive dental stuff (like for example, some fillings are for free, some prettier fillings u gotta pay yourself.) Your therapist is free too as long as they diagnose u with depression or a disorder. our currency is doing pretty great rn, but that’s just a bonus. I also am proud of some other parts of our history, the politicians, writers and artists who stood up against fascism.

oof. I’m from Germany so there’s this particular part in our history I am very mad about. But that, everyone knows. What I am ashamed of TODAY is that some people want or seem to forget and that people are, much like in the usa today, still xenophobic. We have a ‘refugee’ situation, taking in a lot of Syrian people, and the right wing is spreading its usual modern propaganda, a lot of videos and pics on facebook, u know the procedure, its the same in the usa. Maybe my family is just a bit bigoted, but some of them are lowkey against Muslims, or at least, are afraid of them, and I cannot tolerate that either. A classmate once said with an eye-roll that everything is about the Holocaust- and I am like, well, rightfully so! We have to create a remembrance culture so THINGS LIKE THAT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

LOL IT’S BAD. We’re always the Nazis and bad scientists or sth- also everyone thinks that bavaria is germany, which IT ISNT- its just one of our states and NOT ALL BAVARIA IS LEATHERPANTS AND PRETZELS AND BEER. its ur typical stereotype, like when ppl think of usa only as cowboy hats, hamburgers and guns. imagine having this image in every piece of mainstream media. 

our country is very much modern and globalized so I never identify with any german rep in media. 

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

ok so yes, everyone doesnt like bavaria for a reason? XDDD and bavaria I think even had a political party to be independent?? I personally have no beef with anyone. I think Berlin and Hamburg are sort of Rivals but in a sexy way?? They like each other but still think they are better than the other LMAO Enemies with benefits, I ship it. also new states and old states are still not very friendly. at least here in berlin, and remember it was split up for decades, u still hear phrases like ‘thats the east for u’ - ‘typical easterners’ in a slightly negative way, but only by older ppl who witnessed this history (id say 40 and up)

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say!  it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell!  lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!!  cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies).  what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them. 

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else).  however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby.  DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees.  Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies???  well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining.  i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time!  but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people.  to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about.  so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival.  both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s.  when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound. 

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean?  u catchin my drift???  u takin what im dishin out????  the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics.  which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic.  the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing.  i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther.  this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago.  so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start!  we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch.  it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy.  theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast.  in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well.  thats fuckin huge my guy.  and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time.  and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way.  like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable.  however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me.  the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered.  i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations. 

so.  best picture.  this is where i feel the most conflicted.  cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters.  usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film.  ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well.  passable.  it was ok.  but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like.  okay.  michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird.  and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well.  not great.  every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside.  and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative.  and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes.  but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????).  and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise).  its just, u know, a good superhero movie.  nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom.  i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies.  and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen.  but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying. 

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think.  really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design.  so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting?  idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

[anarchocannibalism]

What do you hate about philosophytube/etc? No h8, just curious 😅

I dont hate philosophytube, i think shes a great actress with a really nice aesthetic sense, i just think shes not very good at making video essays. They do not interest me at all.

I do HATE theneedledrop, that guy who made the icarly 10-hour “””””””””dissertation”””””” (its not a dissertation unless you actually do it to get a phd, i understand that its supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek-joke, but a guy blowing up his ego by calling his icarly vlog a dissertation rubs me the wrong way), every single person making video essays about anime (except one really good one about elfen lied called why did we like elfen lied?), “”””philosophical and political””””””” video essays…. (Example: its bad to be a wage slave…. Really? What online infographic did you read to understand that piece of elusive information?), all people who review books like twilight by simply saying its BAD (ex: “i read blablabla so you dont have to”), “film critics” whose idea of critiquing film is saying something that they skimmed through in the book story by robert mckee and just touched on wikipedia… but claiming that its the one truth ( example: “the hidden sadness of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”, wow, I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT THAT ITS A SAD MOVIE MYSELF THANK YOU FOR EDUCATING ME) and finally, the Sarah Z type, the tumblr expats, who pretty much summarize several tumblr post over a period of like two hours (god forbid they could CUT THE VIDEO) and then give an opinion that is not based on anything, no research, no interviews, just their feelings that they present as fact. The tumblr expat isnt a bad person, just doesnt know what is interesting to keep in the video and what isnt. They also have no idea what research is. This is a recurring theme for video essayists in general.

Oh!!! And ANYONE who writes about r/nosleep seriously, anyone who writes about reddit fights seriously, anyone who loves bojack horseman, videos like “the medias obsession with the royal family is super weird” and bo burnham

Do you know that you can actually call people who are experts and interview them? Did you know that you can ask people about things or actually read essays and dissertations and books about a subject? A feeling isnt a fact UNLESS you have something else to back it up.

There are two ways to make a video essay interesting: 1) if the subject of the essay is personal to the person making the video in an INTERESTING and engaging way then supplying information to back that personal statement while using actual film language to get that feeling across (ex: lindsay ellis’s video about rent) OR a video essay with the persons ACTUAL research, an actual compiling of INFORMATION that is hard to access, not a widely know term or fact and with a well made and interesting film language. this could also include someone who, for example has worked with cutting, grading and doing sound, foley or props for an actual movie (not a student film!). s good example of this is folding ideas video about the snowman.

Thats it, PEACE!