#Iconic queer history is dying

[redacted-gay-username]

guys, the Yuri on Ice movie just got canceled and the tgcf artist left……THE GAYS ARE DYING!!!! SOMEONE SAVE THEM!!!

[that-ari-blogger]

Iconic (Defying Gravity)

If you look up "iconic Broadway songs", you get lists upon lists of musical numbers, but there are a few constants. Beside One Day More from Les Misérables, Don't Cry For Me Argentina from Evita, and Seasons Of Love from Rent, you will usually find Defying Gravity, from Wicked.

If you think about it, this is actually rather weird, right? The aforementioned songs are about preparing for death, dying, and looking back on life, respectively. Defying Gravity is about a witch deciding to fly. A story that is objectively fantastical (it depicts magic and flying monkeys in a place that definitely does not exist) stands next to stories of real-world history and events, and nobody bats an eyelid because... well... because it's just that good.

This is like a corgi winning a race fair and square against a ton of cheetahs.

I think it's worth examining just what Defying Gravity does to stand beside giants, and what story it is telling.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked)

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

When you examine a piece of media, the first thing you need to understand is what it is that that piece of media is trying to achieve. For example, if you examine a commercial for toothpaste through the same lens as a commercial film, that commercial will fall short. Similarly, if you examine a song that is trying to get stuck in your head through a classical, technical lens, things get funky.

You can, of course, apply those different lenses if you want. That's the fun thing about art, there are few rules. But even then, you need to understand the purpose of the text.

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

It is a song that calls to arms its listeners. It says to Oz that things will get better, if Elphaba has to tear down the world to make it so. And it tells the audience to get excited, because someone has just started shaking things up.

The song is a turning point in the musical. It is the end of act one, and it sets the trajectory of the second half of the story. It defines how the characters will behave going forwards. But also...

Defying Gravity is a breakup song.

I don't think the two are disconnected at all. Wicked is about reality and dreams colliding, and it follows the seeking of freedom. The twist is that for freedom, you have to give up your safety, and Glinda isn't prepared to do that, but Elphaba is.

This is a piece by @abd-illustrates (Youtube, Deviantart). Although I believe it's technically about No Good Deed, I feel it's relevant here and a spectacular feat of artistic merit that I had to put it in.

Wicked has been accused of queer bating by fans, and while I see that angle, I don't quite agree. I think that the romantic relationship between Glinda and Elphaba does happen, but the fact that it doesn't work is key to the story. They are doomed lovers, and this song is that breaking point.

What is more valuable to our protagonists? Autonomy or stability? Both characters pick different options, and that incompatibility tears them apart.

"Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once? Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how

you've hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever"

Glinda's perspective here is clear, she believes in the system she is a part of. She sees its flaws, but because they work for her, she sees them as strengths. And this is understandable, the system has only benefited her, so she is blind to its faults.

But understandable is not the same as agreeable, and I am inclined to follow Elphaba's logic here. The system is unjust, and directly in opposition to her goal of fairness and equality. She wants to make the world a better place, and now that the system's lies are revealed to her, she needs to take things in a different direction.

"I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition"

So, the sides are established, and this song serves as a battle of ideas. Both characters want their friend to join them, and its notable how they go about doing that.

Glinda falls on aspiration and references a previous song to get her point across.

"You can still be with the wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted"

I feel the need to point out that Glinda wasn't present when Elphaba sang The Wizard and I, and yet she matches the tune and meaning almost perfectly. Elphaba hasn't merely told Glinda her dream, she has shared her dream with her, and confided in her that incredibly vulnerable side of herself.

Elphaba acted so differently in The Wizard and I than in the rest of the story, she was less guarded, and more childish with that naive hope that she holds onto throughout the entirety of the show. That hope just becomes less naive and more relentless.

Elphaba has shared that naivety and hope and whimsicality with Glinda, and it's that relationship that Glinda is calling on now. Remember us, remember our dream.

However, for all Glinda's canniness and understanding of the world, she doesn't understand people, and she doesn't understand Elphaba.

Elphaba wanted to meet the wizard for a reason. She had a motive behind her dream that superseded the specifics of how it would play out.

"But I don't want it

No, I can't want it anymore"

Notice the vernacular that Elphaba uses. She can't want to be with the wizard. In her mind, doing the right thing isn't a choice. To Elphaba, good is a force that has pushed her to where she is right now, and forced her to sing this song.

Essentially, Elphaba is a paragon hero and is actively unmaking the grey morality of the setting. Often in media, "realism" is shorthand for everyone being either selfish or misunderstood. It's a pessimistic worldview of life that I don't entirely agree with.

That does happen in real life, don't get me wrong. The vast majority of the world is made up of people who are capable of actions that are good, bad, or neither.

But there are people out there who are truly cruel and evil, trust me, I've met some of them. But I've also met their opposite, people who are kind and compassionate and do what they think is right because to them, there isn't another option.

Elphaba is that second type of person, and the musical has got its audience to take this for granted at this point. But it's worth remembering that this character is the Wicked Witch of the West, the cartoon bad guy of an iconic work of literature. The musical hasn't made her more morally nuanced; it has made the world more nuanced, and that has reframed this character entirely.

The song even reminds the audience of this fact through the ensemble, just to make the juxtaposition more obvious.

"Look at her! She's wicked, get her.

No one mourns the wicked! So we've got to bring her

Down"

This is actually foreshadowing for a later song.

Back to this part, the backing of the song has spent the majority of its run time playing elaborate movements, but for Galinda and Elphaba's talk about dreams, it simplifies. Galinda gets a bare trickle of that floaty harmony, but Elphaba gets next to nothing for her line. Mostly.

This, combined with the slowing down effect brought on by the fermata (the symbol that looks like an eye), gives the conversation an intimate tone. The two have just each other to hear, and nothing to get in the way. It also frames Elphaba's line as reassurance. There is a storm coming and she is telling her girlfriend that things are going to work out ok in the end.

However, the big chords come back in on the "anymore" and lead into the key change that covers the rest of the song. This is a metaphor for the change that is happening in Elphaba's mind. As she makes her decision on how to proceed, and recognises that things are now different, the slow build up to this song's finale is finally got underway.

The rest of this song is just a build up to a final crash of sound. It rises in a few beats with the choruses, as Elphaba tests her wings, so to speak. And the song gains momentum slowly as more instruments are added.

If you thought I wasn't going to at least reference Glee's multiple performances of this song and how in that series, Defying Gravity is explicitly synonymous with queerness and pride, welcome to the blog. I make analysis posts, maybe stick around if you like this kind of thing.

"Too late for second guessing,

too late to go back to sleep"

There are two separate ideas being intertwined here. First up is the reiteration of Elphaba's inability to stop. Once again, she is doing the right thing because someone has to do it, and soon it will be too late. But the duality of this phase links that idea with the revelation about Oz. She can't go back to sleep, she can't go back to ignorance. Now that she knows what she knows, she has to act.

"Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost.

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost."

This isn't particularly complex storytelling, but it's effective none the less. Elphaba is saying her realisations out loud to keep the audience up to speed. In this instance, she has been chasing acceptance, and now understands that she was never going to get it from Oz, and that what she would have to do to obtain a facade of understanding is not worth it.

The fact that my analysis of that phrase is just saying it again but slightly differently is a pretty good example of how effective the storytelling in the line is.

"I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down"

The first chorus of this song is remarkably understated. It doesn't have the confidence of latter verses, and I will discuss why I think that is in a moment. The orchestra pulls back to a few instruments, and the drum plays a light rhythm on one of its... ok I my musical knowledge is a bit limited here. The bit of the drum that goes "tss tss tss", you know the one.

This gives it a light feeling that adds to the unsteady feeling of the chorus as Elphaba tests the waters and learns to fly. But she needs guidance, and support, and who does she turn to for that?

"Glinda, come with me."

This is the first time Elphaba has been thinking on the spot. Usually, she thinks everything through before she says it, but now she is running entirely on a single train of thought. I cannot stress enough how this thought process is literally: "love, kiss goodbye, Glinda". Historians will say they were close friends.

A leitmotif is a recurring musical phrase that represents a certain theme. For example, earlier in the musical, Galinda's "you deserve each other" musical phrase was repeated to show false relationships and false promises, and was also used in The Wizard and I to foreshadow the false promise of the Wizard and his gifts.

The Unlimited Leitmotif is used exclusively to symbolise Elphaba and Glinda's relationship. You can read that as platonic if you want, but there are some context clues that I would argue suggest otherwise. For example, it's called the "Unlimited" leitmotif for a reason.

As I have kept harping on about, the most valuable thing a person can achieve in this musical is freedom. This is a song about defying the laws of physics themselves. And the thing that Elphaba is offering Glinda here, the thing that is so defining for their relationship that it is literally the shorthand for it, is complete and total freedom.

Together, the two are unlimited.

The second chorus is sung together. Glinda gives Elphaba the strength of spirit to continue and is quite literally the reason she can fly in the first place.

But Glinda doesn't want that. She wants to feel in control of herself more than autonomy, and that's why the relationship falls apart. The two are doomed lovers, and it's not because one of them lies or cheats or any of that soap opera nonsense, but because they want different things out of life.

"Well, are you coming?"

"I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this"

"You, too

I hope it brings you bliss"

All in all, I think this breakup goes remarkably well. The two realise that their lives are taking each of them in a direction that the other cannot follow, and so they offer their goodbyes peacefully and get ready for the finale of this act.

Glinda even gives Elphaba a cloak to protect her from the elements as a final goodbye gift. Which, if you are keeping track, means that both the hat and the cloak, the Wicked Witch's most iconic visual elements besides her skin, were gifts from a very close friend.

I don't need to explain why the final chorus of this song is so good, do I? The music is phenomenal, the vocal performance is unrivaled, and it outright says half of the points I have been trying to make in this post.

I do think that the sheer skill on display here is important for the theming as well. Yes, the high note symbolises the flight and escape, yes it's synonymous with rising above petty grievances, and yes the rising is literally a reverse Deus Ex Machina. But it's also just the actress who plays Elphaba showing off and having a blast. There are no limits on her vocal performance, she doesn't have to rein in anything, and she can instead belt out a number as loud and powerfully as she wants because nobody is stopping her.

"As someone told me lately,

Everyone deserves a chance to fly"

This is a reference to something that the Wizard said to Elphaba, but when he said it, he was completely talking out of his arse. The Wizard, and a significant portion of Oz as a whole, parade around saying nebulously benevolent things, but they don't actually mean it. The Wizard has created a nation based around surveillance and oppression, there is no way that he believes in everyone getting a fair go.

The important thing to understand is that the Wizard's worldview is wrong. Everyone does deserve fairness. So his lie to appease Elphaba was in fact true. Elphaba's role in this is making that lie into a reality, by giving the people someone who will say things honestly and try to actually make the world a better place.

Finally, however, as the lights prepare to shut off and Elphaba rises into the distance. Glinda stands beneath her, looking up. She is now just another face in the crowd, but her sentiment stands in stark contrast to the rest of Oz.

Simultaneously, Glinda says goodbye, and wishes Elphaba good luck on the road ahead.

"I hope you're happy."

Final Thoughts

It needs to be understood that part of why Defying Gravity stands beside historical giants like Don't Cry For Me Argentina is the fact that it is fantastical.

Wicked is a musical about the relentlessness of hope. It is set in a world where anything is possible, and it brings that to life. Through the application of some truly impressive stagecraft, the actress who plays Elphaba genuinely flies for all to see.

This is a story that takes the impossible and makes it possible, and this is the song which cemented that theme in the minds of anyone who watched it. This song fully deserves its place as my second favourite in this musical.

That's right, my favourite is yet to come, and I'm enjoying watching y'all guess at what it is in the replies.

Next week, I will be looking at Thank Goodness and how it sets up the plot of the second act. So, stick around if that interests you.

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[grassbreads]

I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga

This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.

So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.

However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.

The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.

This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.

Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:

D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:

The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.

Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.

Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.

Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:

TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.

And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.

Then came the Alma Karma arc.

This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.

To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.

Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.

Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.

Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.

The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.

Have you figured out the twist yet?

9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.

After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.

So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.

Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.

If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.

On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.

You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.

Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.

Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:

Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.

At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.

However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.

Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.

You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.

So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.

Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):

[saltpepperbeard]

What are your top 5 Ed x Stede moments? 😊 I’m curiously asking several blogs to see how many of us share favorites!

MAN, anon! I tried to give this one some thought to see if the choosing would get any easier/become any clearer. Spoiler alert: IT DID NOT HSDLKS I AM STILL JUST AS TORN AS I WAS BEFORE. But let me see if I can at least ~*~attempt this~*~. My first three were easy but then the LAST TWO HAD ME PACING SHDLKS:

So okay, obviously have to put their first kiss in the ranking because it's so iconic and it's the thing that got me into the show in the first place! Like, literally the FIRST scene I laid eyes upon. And it had me crying full blown tears at work because I was just so floored that we weren't queer baited and that it was so sweet and tentative and cautious and just,,, The rest was history of course lol!

Like really, the Power it has. Didn't even know the characters or the story that much at all, and was already crying LMAO.

Then of course I have to put the second beach kiss(es) because good god lol GOOD GOD!!! I think I adore it so so much mainly because Ed and Stede are finally on the same page. No more doubts, no more worries, no more anxieties, no more questioning if they have the same feelings or are going too slow/fast. Just them and their strong, solid love--their good bones.

Not to mention Ed dropping the double "I love you" ??? I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that we heard a legitimate "I love you." And Ed being the one to say it after all the hurt, all the pain in feeling unlovable, all the fear that he'd die completely alone, all the worry that his strong feelings were too much...Man. MAN.

And thennnnn the reunion scene because yeah. Yeah. I've said this before and I'll say it again: watching this at like 4:30am for the first time almost gave me an out of body experience HSLDSHS. Like, I think there's just something about the fact that we were all going through so many different iterations of possible reunions during the s1-s2 gap. We envisioned angsty, silly, romantic, and everything in between.

But this lol THIS,,,

I feel like it just surpassed expectations in such a beautiful, fantastical way. Like genuinely, I never EVER anticipated Ed being stuck in purgatory about to die and Stede coming to him as a mermaid because the real Stede is sitting with his body begging him not to succumb.

Also, Stede begging and screaming at Ed not to die/to wake up/to come back to him always makes me feel some sort of way. Something something he's normally so silly and so theatrical but he's so choked up and so serious in that moment that it PUNCHES ME IN THE KIDNEYS. Like it really just goes to show how utterly desperate he is. And that last, whispered, strained, "come back to me..." ??? Homie............

ALSO also, obligatory "This Woman's Work" mention because I knew that song and nothing else for like two months straight HSKLDS. Or two months gay, rather.

...

see this is where i start Dying because i'm being pulled in so many different directions lol DO I GO FOR ROMANTIC, OR SILLY, OR EARNEST, OR,,, SKLDJHLDJKDKDA

Okay okay I think I'm going to have to go earnest because I adore that they actually talked things through together. FLEETING LMAO, BUT STILL GLAD THEY DID, EVEN IF IT WAS JUST FOR A BIT. I just love that they actually expressed some frustrations, that Stede actually talked about his fears/his panic, that Ed set a boundary, and that Stede respected it. And then Stede gently navigated around and expressed his love in different ways and it folded Ed in half almost immediately hsdkljs YOU LOVE TO SEE IT.

But yeah no--if me rolling around Atticus' fics and me writing my own stories is any indication, I really REALLY LIKE IT WHEN THESE TWO ACTUALLY TALK LMAO. BECAUSE THEY HAVE SO SO MUCH BOTTLED UP, BOTH INDIVIDUALLY AND AS A COUPLE, SO IT'S JUST HSLDKS TALK IT THROUGH AS A CREW OF TWO MY BELOVED!!!

......

oh god oh god what do i pick for the last one lol WHAT DO I PICK FOR THE LAST ONE,,,

mmmMMmmmMMMM,,,,,,

SUCCUMBED TO MORE TALKING IT THROUGH LMAO.

I love so many of their other moments, and honestly, so many things could have made this list. But the bathtub scene...man. Taika saying it's more vulnerable and even more romantic than their first kiss is shdljks yeah. YEAH. LIKE HE'S COOKING A BIT WITH THAT BECAUSE IT'S JUST,,,

I feel like it's such a pivotal and important step in their relationship. Ed has literally never told that secret to anyone else, but he entrusted it with Stede. He feels safe enough around Stede to expose the darkest parts of his past, and he's entirely right to do so, because Stede doesn't view him any differently at all. Stede is right there, wanting to be his friend--loving him still.

And I think it's also good for Stede because of that vulnerability. He gets to see how much Ed trusts him and feels safe around him. He's getting to see Ed and Ed alone, which can't be said for so many other people.

It's just the two of them in that moment and I adore it so much.

...I just adore THEM so much, anon, so thank you for spreading this sweet little ask around! It was super fun to consider, aLBEIT SLIGHTLY RGGHGHGHH INDUCING BECAUSE I COULD INCLUDE SO MUCH LMAO. But thank you kindly! <3

Also, for the record, if I had to rank them from most favorite to still favorite but not AS favorite, I'd go Double Beach Kiss, Reunion, First Kiss, Love Everything About You, and Bathtub.

[jigokurakuzine]

Happy Pride!🏳️‍🌈

We wanted to leave Pride Month with a small gift! There was a bit of a wait, but our celebratory flowers have fully bloomed.

Check out 7 flowers with a history and meaning to LGBTQ+ people worldwide, featuring Lord Tensen!🪷

Lilies appear as a prominent symbol in media, representing WLW romances. They hold a meaning of beauty, purity, and convey the idea of happiness with another.

Forget-Me-Not flowers can blossom into colors reminiscent of the transgender flag. They bear a meaning of faithfulness and remembrance. Recently, they've become a symbol to some for Transgender Day of Remembrance.

The rose is a notable symbol for love to all, but is also a symbol specifically for MLM love. Tie-dyed roses are a common feature at Pride events too! Roses can signify love, healing, and passion.

Green carnations first became an LGBTQ+ symbol at the opening for "Lady Windermere's Fan" in the late 19th century. Oscar Wilde and several friends wore the flowers on their lapel to the premier and the rest is history! Carnations symbolize admiration, pride, and deep, true love.

Lavender is heavily associated with queer culture and history. For over a century, the flower was largely used in writing and phrases as a reference to LGBTQ+ people. Today, lavender is embraced by the community as a symbol of love and devotion.

Pansies have a long history with queer culture. The "Pansy Craze" was coined during Prohibition, when drag performances had become a huge sensation. The wild pansy can also bloom with colors the same as the nonbinary flag. Pansies symbolize togetherness and fond memories.

Violets have been associated with WLW since the poet Sappho, who used the flower often in her works. Violets have been a huge queer symbol and carry a meaning of affection, loyalty, and thinking of another.

We're happy to send off Pride with you all! As an extra little gift, all of the Tensen icons are available to download here!

And don't forget that our contributor applications will open on July 8!🪷

🌱 Carrd 🌱 Twitter 🌱 Instagram 🌱 TikTok🌱 Retrospring

[qnewsau]

Catch these Melt Festival 2024 highlights at Brisbane Powerhouse

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/catch-these-melt-festival-2024-highlights-at-brisbane-powerhouse/

Catch these Melt Festival 2024 highlights at Brisbane Powerhouse

Melt Festival 2024 is the ultimate celebration of LGBTQIA+ artists and allies, featuring over 220 dazzling performances and events electrifying Brisbane/Magandjin from 23 October to 10 November.

Artists and performers from across Brisbane/Magandjin, Australia and around the globe will wash the city with art, glitter and colour for three mammoth weeks.

This celebration of the vibrant river city and the LGBTQIA+ community will be hosted across dozens of Brisbane venues, including iconic Brisbane Powerhouse.

See thirteen of this year’s Melt highlights at Brisbane Powerhouse below, with tickets to the entire Melt Festival 2024 program on sale now.

Rainbow History Class Live

It’s time to brush up on the LGBTQIA+ history not taught in school with TikTok sensation Rainbow History Class. In the Rainbow History Class live classroom, teacher Rudy Jean Rigg and writer/researcher Hannah McElhinney leave the internet behind and bring the history of the LGBTQIA+ community to life IRL in an evening of celebratory storytelling.

From the origins of Mardi Gras, to the reason Alice Springs became a lesbian hotspot, and the time gay slang sent the US military on a wild goose chase, Rainbow History Class live classroom is one class you don’t want to skip. Homework: optional. Detention: never. Glitter: always.

Thank God You’re Queer

Thank God You’re Queer is a fabulous gay twist on Australia’s most successful improvised show. Join Brisbane’s finest LGBTQI+ improvisers at the Melt Festival as they bring to life a kaleidoscope of scenes inspired by the real-life queer experiences of the audience.

But here’s the exciting twist: each scene features a special guest improviser, all of whom may be exploring queer territory for the first time. Yes, they’re all straight. It’s stupid, silly, and a whole lot of gay fun!

Scout Boxall

Arrive thirsty and leave quenched; arrive tired and leave renewed; and arrive lonely and leave among friends. Drawing on their last three sold-out, award-winning solo shows, Scout Boxall sandwiches fresh new comedy material in between their all-time favourite bits. Only the finest and crispiest treats for the children!

Jessi Ryan: Functional Bottom

Hot off the back of their Melbourne International Comedy Festival season Jessi Ryan, returns to Melt Festival for the first time since 2018. A fusion of storytelling, performance art, filth, provocation and tears, Functional Bottom is a darkly humorous exploration of a year in the life of Jessi Ryan – artiste, journalist and hot f#%king mess.

How else do you to respond to an ‘anus horribilis’ in the era of the neo-Nazi, including nearly dying on the emergency room table, colon removal and the death of their fetish-loving sugar daddy? Strap yourselves in, raw, unapologetic, messy and chaotic, nothing is off limits, and rubber gloves are optional.

Alex Hines is Juniper Wilde – Demon Slayer

Juniper Wilde is dead. The High Priestess of Pop makes a desperate deal with the Devil to return to the mortal plane. Her wish is granted, but at what cost? It’s absurdist satire meets Gaga at a seance, a camp horror comedy like no other – YOU WILL GAG!

TINA – A Tropical Love Story

Enter the enchanting realm of First Nations drag performer Miss Ellaneous (Ben Graetz), as he shares his deeply personal tales of growing up in Darwin and the profound impact Tina had on his life. In 1993, amidst the sweltering atmosphere of the Darwin Amphitheatre in the Northern Territory, a young First Nations boy found himself swept away by the legendary Tina Turner’s mesmerising performance.

Little did he know that fateful night would ignite a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Tina – A Tropical Love Story blends storytelling and cabaret in a heartfelt tribute to the indomitable spirit of Tina Turner.

Helios

A lad lives half way up a historic hill. A teenager is on a road trip to the city in a stolen car. A boy is driving a chariot, pulling the sun across the sky. A story about the son of the god of the sun, HELIOS transplants the Ancient Greek tale into a modern-day myth wound round the winding roads of rural England and into the everyday living of a towering city. A story about life, and about the invisible monuments we build to it.

Leather Lungs: Shut Up & Sing!

It’s time to shut up and sing! Experience the power of a voice spanning over four octaves in this hilarious cabaret romp. With the flamboyance of Prince, the force of Aretha, and a vocal range as mind-blowing as Freddie’s, this daring deviant will blow audiences at the Melt Festival away!

Hans: Disco Spektakulär

Step into the glittering world of Hans Disco Spektakulär! Berlin’s beloved cabaret superstar, Hans is bringing his sensational show to Brisbane’s Melt in 2024.

Prepare for a dazzling extravaganza, where Hans will light up the stage with his trademark blend of comedy, music, and mesmerising dance moves. Backed by his live band, The Ungrateful Bastards, and the fabulous dancers known as The Lucky B*tches, Hans promises an unforgettable night of sequins and spectacle.

Old Friends

Old Freinds Mark Trevorrow, Rupert Noffs and leading musical director Bev Kennedy share their love of Broadway legend Stephen Sondheim in an intimate evening of cabaret celebrating the late, great composer and lyricist’s songs.

Featuring solos, duets, mashups and medleys, with light-hearted banter and stories in between, it’s a classy, superbly played and sung show with a cheeky queer bent.

Frankie van Kan: A Body At Work

Serial nudist Frankie van Kan (AKA Frankie Valentine – Stripped Queer, Club Briefs, Baby Got Back, Seen & Heard Cabaret) achieves the improbable task of exposing more of herself than ever before in this deeply intimate piece of confessional theatre at Brisbane Powerhouse during Melt.

Beginning in a strip club, with insightfully refreshing antics of strip club culture and the perceived power dynamics between workers and clients, Frankie unpacks her own whorephobia and the unravelling of boundaries. A Body At Work is the tale of a queer woman’s sixteen years – and counting – in the sex industry.

Sunday’s Child

With cheekiness and play, Hannah Brontë queerifies an old nursery rhyme that describes the temperament of a child, based on the day they were born. Brontë uses this term to celebrate queer happiness, joy and intimacy through her portraiture series which shows us contemporary relationships amidst nurturing backdrops, embedding diverse genders and sexualities in the natural world.

Fountain Lakes In Lockdown

What did Australia’s foxiest morons get up to during the pandemic? It’s August, 2021. Kath is up to pussy’s bow in sourdough bread, Kim’s been asked to work from home (though that happened long before the pandemic started) and Sharon has had a severe reaction to all the hand sanitiser.

Relive the uniquely Australian pandemic experience through the eyes of these uniquely Australian characters hilariously parodied with quick wit and camp tunes by Art Simone, Thomas Jaspers, Leasa Mann and Scott Brennan.

Tickets for these Brisbane Powerhouse shows and more at the Melt Festival are on sale now.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[hanna-portfolio]

Drag king performances are not only about toxic masculinity, yet all drag kings experience it

Drag kings have been around for ages. As a matter of fact, they have a very strong presence in Britain`s theatrical history, even as early as the early modern period. 

The year 1660 marked the first time that women were legally allowed to perform on stage, and they did so under the appearance of men. Aphra Behn, for example, created plays about women wooing men at gatherings while dressed as men!

Fast forward to the Music Hall tradition of the 19th and 20th centuries, when a sea of female performers were toying with masculinity on stage. Not as a subculture, but in front of the King and Queen at the first royal Variety Show in 1912. Even though the Queen grew a little fussy about it, they laid the framework for drag kings to explore and expand gender in whichever way they saw fit today. 

Christian Adore is a drag king, performed by Francesca Forristal. Together with Eaton Messe, they make up the iconic double act Dragprov Revue. 

Christian plays with masculinity on stage, using makeup and illusion to mess with gender. He says drag kings are often labeled as the “opposite of drag queens” however to him drag kings can be cis women, trans men and non-binary, there is no “opposite” about it.”

He adds: “We are all sick of gender being a total dick to everyone. Telling us how to dress, how to act, who “can” or “can't” do whatever. 

“And there are some seriously toxic men out there that drag kings are DYING to sink their satire teeth into.”

Christian is rooting for drag kings rights to have fun parodying all the things that might infuriate them about cis-men. Yet, personally, Christian favourite drag kings have characters which dig a little deeper than direct imitation of toxic stereotypes.

He says: “There is equal room for celebration. Trans masculinity, beauty in masculinity, confidence, vulnerability, different body shapes and body positivity. 

“Try to see what complex qualities you can bring to masc-identity and imagine drag as a space to dream big. What could masculinity look like, if society was more open minded?”

Drag kings have been around forever, long before RuPaul entered the drag stage. Though drag is not all about Rupaul's Drag Race, quite the opposite actually, it should be acknowledged how the show and Rupaul has boosted drag`s overall popularity. 

However, what should also be acknowledged is the fact that RuPaul only allows queens on his show. No kings, no femme-queens. Imagine The Great British Bake Off, but with only cisgender men as contestants.

As a result, corporate or high-profile events scatter after drag queens, sounding like spoiled kids who want “glamorous queens like the ones on Drag Race”. The gender pay gap has followed drag kings, even when they are dressed as men…ironic isn't it? 

LoUis CyFer is a drag king. He performs drag as a way to express his identity as a queer artist. 

He says: “I perform on stage the complexities of my relationship to my gender in front of an audience that maybe connect with it on some level or don't. 

“I get to experience the excellence that is punishing and playing around with the opposite gender.”

He explains how not all drag kings challenge toxic masculinity, but he thinks that they all have experienced it. 

He adds: “I think it's always in some way or another found within their work. Some of them replicate that toxic masculinity in their characters and some of them try to wrestle with it. 

“Trying to create different perspectives of masculinity and trying to destruct what it is, what toxic masculinity is and how harmful it can be.”

When talking about what it is like to be a drag king in relation to the entertainment industry, drag king LoUis CYfer says “it is like being the one at a party that no one wants to talk to.”

“There are a lot of very good drag kings, but a lot of the venues are not giving them the opportunity to have a full show because they know now, because of RuPaul and the last 14 years, that drag queens will sell tickets. People with power, producers and managers, are frightened to take a risk because they think their audience won't like it. 

“Whenever I or some of my drag kings friends have performed, people have absolutely loved it and been like “yes! Something different!”

LoUis explains how he thinks the difference in popularity comes down to the “patriarchal chokehold” that exists in the western world and opportunities are always coming second to people who “are not born with a penis.”

“We have to sort of wait for our opportunity and I think that is because a lot of men are in power and so what would happen if they offered women power.” 

He goes on to talk about RuPaul and how they have offered themselves, as well as being able to have these opportunities because they are “privileged gay men”. 

“There are a lot of privileged gay men in the entertainment industry and they are very highly represented. 

“In many ways, being a queer woman or cis female, those opportunities are not given to you because they are not celebrated as much. Particularly, buchness isn't celebrated because it is not desirable to men. So why would it make its way into television and mainstream media?”

It is safe to say that RuPaul's Drag Race has made a lot of drag queens very rich as well as given them fantastic opportunities and excelled through their craft. However, it is exclusionary. 

LoUis says: “It's such a shame. RuPaul`s comments about only men being able to do drag was very silly.

“I think that for all the good that the show has done, it has done quite a lot of damage as well to the queer community. 

“It has sort of told people to be a good queer you got to be like a sassy, nasty gay who's clicking fingers and popping ‘yas queen’ in order to be seen as powerful, by reclaiming these ways of being.”

[crashdown]

for anyone who wants to claim that jim's story was unrealistic, that nonbinary people didn't exist in the 1700s, i'd love to introduce them to one of my favourite queer icons:

the public universal friend

so the puf was born in 1752 in cumberland, rhode island. their parents were quakers, and they grew up surrounded by religon. they were quite smart, athletic, good with horses, and could quote the scripture from memory.

in 1776, at the age of 24, they fell ill and became bedridden. they nearly died but made a miraculous recovery, and insisted that their soul was taken to heaven where god sent down a new spirit, tasked with preaching his word. this spirit was named the "publick universal friend" and was entierly genderless, rejecting the women's clothes worn by their body before and refusing to respond to their old name or any gendered pronouns. they dressed androgynously or leaned to masculine styles.

many people found this strange, but for the most part, the friend was respected in terms of their prefrence. when asked if they were male or female, they would simply respond "i am that i am". in text, people would either avoid using pronouns at all with the friend or simply use "he".

they began to travel just as they had been assigned, preaching the word of god and gathering followers as they did. they did not bring a bible with them, but preached from memory, just as they did as a child. they grew a group of followers known as the "universal friends" as they traveled, which makes them the first american to found a religous community.

they beleived that anyone with free will, regardless of gender, could gain access to god's light, and they preached celibacy, though in the end they expressed the right of their followers to choose whether or not to marry or obstain from sex. they valued peace and humility to everyone, and in this they condemned slavery, urging those who followed them to free their slaves. many followers were also black.

they said that women should "obey god rather than men", and there were four dozen women amongst the universal friends known as the faithful sisterhood who remained unmarried and took on leadership roles usually reserved for men.

in 1785, the friend met sarah richards and her husband. her husband died shortly after and sarah began to live with the friend, dressing in a similar androgynous fasion and dubbing herself "sarah friend". sarah friend continued to live with the puf for the rest of her life, eventually dying and leaving her daughter in the friend's care.

at 2:25 on july 1st, 1819, at the age of 67, the friend died after a long period of illness. it's often debated on whether or not the friend would have identified as nonbinary or even trans in any fasion, but their legacy remained one of peace, tollerance, oportunity, and equality regardless of sex or race.

our flag means death takes place in 1717, and though it's before the birth of the puf, there's no doubt that gender non-conformity (or gender fuckery, if you will) has existed in some fasion for a very, very long time. i don't find the way people treat jim unrealistic for the time period at all. people love to nit-pick when it comes to history that they know nothing about.

this is only a fraction of the friend's story, so if you're interested i highly reccomend looking into it further. they were a very interesting person, and trans history is undertaught yet so, so important to know.

[grubloved]

Lily Alexandre is speaking to the camera, mouth close to the microphone, tone even and measured:

LILY A: "We turn movements into logos. We turn real people into icons, and erase their human-ness in the process.

No one has been more thoroughly mythologized than Marsha P Johnson and Silvia Riviera, leaders of Street Transvestites Action Revolutionaries (S.T.A.R.) and participants in the Stonewall uprising -- especially Marsha, whose image has taken on an almost messianic weight in the years since her death. An invocation of everything holy.

A widely spread account presents Marsha as the heroic black trans woman who threw the first brick at Stonewall, igniting the gay liberation movement. The truth is more complicated, as truths often are.

Marsha never identified as a trans woman, she showed up to the riot hours after it started, and it's unclear whether anyone threw a brick. Outside her activism, Marsha was also a whole person, and a fascinating one. She was a performer, and deeply religious. She was a caregiver to a man dying of AIDs complications while herself HIV positive. The myth of Marsha is an all-timer, and we can learn from it, but the full story offers so much more insight.

If anything, I think that's actually why younger white queers avoid engaging with it, and avoid engaging with our history in general. With her life history fleshed out, Marsha doesn't seem so far away anymore. These details that were peripheral to the myth become impossible to ignore. How she was a sex worker. How she was described as mentally ill and prone to lashing out at people. How she was intermittently homeless.

Suddenly, Marsha and Silvia remind easily scandalized white queers of people we know and treat poorly. Transfemmes of color. Sex workers. Homeless addicts. Heavily traumatized people. People who speak out and don't take shit, even when it would be polite to."

[ Clip of Silvia Riviera, a mic clutched in one hand, bent forward slightly, shouting into the mic with all her energy, "I have been thrown in jail, I have lost my job, I have lost my apartment -- for gay liberation! And you all treat me this way?!" She jabs a finger at the crowd with her free hand. "What the fuck's WRONG with you all?!" Her audio fades out as she straightens, tosses her hair.]

LILY A: And Marsha and Silvia's detractors, those who marginalized them, jeered at them -- suddenly they remind us of ourselves.

[Silvia switches hands, has gathered herself upright, one hip cocked. She gestures again. "You're all very brave now," she says. She turns away, lowers the mic for a moment, as the crowd erupts in boos, hisses, and yells.]

LILY A: "The space between past and present collapses. It becomes obvious that when we villainize traumatized members of our community, we're also villanizing our trailblazers. That complaints about drag queens and the male-assigned among us are complaints about Silvia and Marsha, whether or not they mean to be. That the queer internet's puritanical, optics-above-all moral code would condemn these militants as a "threat to children", and ban them from any Pride events we have a say in.

Lily Alexandre, "Why is Queer Discourse So Toxic?", June 30, 2022 <- click for link

[theshedding]

Lil Nas X: Country Music, Christianity & Reclaiming HELL

I don’t typically bother myself to follow what Lil Nas X is doing from day to day, or even month to month but I do know that his “Old Town Road” hit became one of the biggest selling/streamed records in Country Music Business history (by a Black Country & Queer artist). “Black” is key because for 75+ years Country music has unsuspiciously evolved into a solidly White-identified genre (despite mixed and Indian & Black roots). Regrettably, Country music is also widely known for anti-black, misogynoir, reliably homophobic (Trans isn’t really a conversation yet), Christian and Hard Right sentiments on the political spectrum. Some other day I will venture into more; there is a whole analysis dying to be done on this exclusive practice in the music industry with its implications on ‘access’ to equity and opportunity for both Black/POC’s and Whites artists/songwriters alike. More commentary on this rigid homogeneous field is needed and how it prohibits certain talent(s) for the sake of perpetuating homogeneity (e.g. “social determinants” of diversity & viable artistic careers). I’ll refrain from discussing that fully here, though suffice it to say that for those reasons X’s “Old Town Road” was monumental and vindicating. 

As for Lil Nas X, I’m not particularly a big fan of his music; but I see him, what he’s doing, his impact on music + culture and I celebrate him using these moments to affirm his Black, Queer self, and lifting up others. Believe it or not, even in the 2020′s, being “out” in the music business is still a costly choice. As an artist it remains much easier to just “play straight”. And despite appearances, the business (particularly Country) has been dragged kicking and screaming into developing, promoting and advancing openly-affirming LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 artists in the board room or on-stage. Though things are ‘better’ we have not yet arrived at a place of equity or opportunity for queer artists; for the road of music biz history is littered with stunted careers, bodies and limitations on artists who had no option but to follow conventional ways, fail or never be heard of in the first place. With few exceptions, record labels, radio and press/media have successfully used fear, intimidation, innuendo and coercion to dilute, downplay or erase any hint of queer identity from its performers. This was true even for obvious talents like Little Richard.

(Note: I’m particularly speaking of artists in this regard, not so much the hairstylists, make-up artists, PA’s, etc.)

_____

Which is why...in regard to Lil Nas X, whether you like, hate or love his music, the young brother is a trailblazer. His very existence protests (at least) decades of inequity, oppression and erasure. X aptly critiques a Neo-Christian Fascist Heteropatriarchy; not just in American society but throughout the Music Business and with Black people. That is no small deal. His unapologetic outness holds a mirror up to Christianity at-large, as an institution, theology and practice. The problem is they just don’t like what they see in that mirror.

In actuality, “Call Me By Your Name”, Lil Nas X’s new video, is a twist on classic mythology and religious memes that are less reprehensible or vulgar than the Biblical narratives most of us grew up on vís-a-vís indoctrinating smiles of Sunday school teachers and family prior to the “age of reason”. Think about the narratives blithely describing Satan’s friendly wager with God regarding Job (42:1-6); the horrific “prophecies” in St. John’s Book of Revelation (i.e. skies will rain fire, angels will spit swords, mankind will be forced to retreat into caves for shelter, and we will be harassed by at least three terrifying dragons and beasts. Angels will sound seven trumpets of warning, and later on, seven plagues will be dumped on the world), or Jesus’s own clarifying words of violent intent in Matthew (re: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” 10:34). Whether literal or metaphor, these age old stories pale in comparison to a three minute allegorical rap video. Conservatives: say what you will, I’m pretty confident X doesn’t take himself as seriously as “The true and living God” from the book of Job.

A little known fact as it is, people have debunked the story and evolution of Satan and already offered compelling research showing [he] is more of a literary device than an actual entity or “spirit” (Spoiler: In the Bible, Satan does not take shape as an actual “bad” person until the New Testament). In fact, modern Christianity’s impression of the “Devil” is shaped by conflating Hellenized mythology with a literary tradition rooted in Dante’s Inferno and accompanying spooks and superstitions going back thousands of years. Whether Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist or Agnostic, we’ve spent a lifetime with these predominant icons and clichés. (Resource: Prof. Bart D. Erhman, “Heaven & Hell”).

So Here’s THE PROBLEM: The current level of fear and outrage is: 

(1) Unjust, imposing and irrational. 

(2) Disproportionate when taken into account a lifetime of harmful Christian propaganda, anti-gay preaching and political advocacy.

(3) Historically inaccurate concerning the existence of “Hell” and who should be scared of going there. 

Think I’m overreacting? 

Examples: 

Institutionalized Homophobia (rhetoric + policy)

Anti-Gay Ministers In Life And Death: Bishop Eddie Long And Rev. Bernice King

Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with Conflicts

Harlem pastor: 'Obama has released the homo demons on the black man'

Joel Olsteen: Homosexuality is “Not God’s Best”

Bishop Brandon Porter: Gays “Perverted & Lost...The Church of God in Christ Convocation appears like a ‘coming out party’ for members of the gay community.”

Kim Burrell: “That perverted homosexual spirit is a spirit of delusion & confusion and has deceived many men & women, and it has caused a strain on the body of Christ”

Falwell Suggests Gays to Blame for 9-11 Attacks

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

Pope Francis: Gay People Not Welcome in Clergy

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

The Pope and Gay People: Nothing’s Changed

The Catholic church silently lobbied against a suicide prevention hotline in the US because it included LGBT resources

Mormon church prohibits Children of LGBT parents to be baptized

Catholic Charity Ends Adoptions Rather Than Place Kid With Same-Sex Couple

I Was a Religious Zealot That Hurt People-Coming Out as Gay: A Former Conversion Therapy Leader Is Apologizing to the LGBTQ Community

The above short list chronicles a consistent, literal, demonization of LGBTQ people, contempt for their gender presentation, objectification of their bodies/sexuality and a coordinated pollution of media and culture over the last 50+ years by clergy since integration and Civil Rights legislation. Basically terrorism. Popes, Bishops, Pastors, Evangelists, Politicians, Television hosts, US Presidents, Camp Leaders, Teachers, Singers & Entertainers, Coaches, Athletes and Christians of all types all around the world have confused and confounded these issues, suppressed dissent, and confidently lied about LGBT people-including fellow Queer Christians with impunity for generations (i.e. “thou shall not bear false witness against they neighbor” Ex. 23:1-3). Christian majority viewpoints about “laws” and “nature” have run the table in discussions about LGBTQ people in society-so much that we collectively must first consider their religious views in all discussions and the specter of Christian approval -at best or Christian condescension -at worst. That is Christian (and straight) privilege. People are tired of this undue deference to religious opinions. 

That is what is so deliciously bothersome about Lil Nas X being loud, proud and “in your face” about his sexuality. If for just a moment, he not only disrupts the American hetero-patriarchy but specifically the Black hetero-patriarchy, the so-called “Black Church Industrial Complex”, Neo-Christian Fascism and a mostly uneducated (and/or miseducated) public concerning Ancient Near East and European history, superstitions-and (by extension) White Supremacy. To round up: people are losing their minds because the victim decided to speak out against his victimizer. 

Additionally, on some level I believe people are mad at him being just twenty years old, out and FREE as a self-assured, affirming & affirmed QUEER Black male entertainer with money and fame in the PRIME of his life. We’ve never, or rarely, seen that before in a Black man in the music business and popular culture. But that’s just too bad for them. With my own eyes I’ve watched straight people, friends, Christians, enjoy their sexuality from their elementary youth to adolescence, up and through college and later marriages, often times independently of their spouses (repeatedly). Meanwhile Queer/Gay/SGL/LGBTQ people are expected to put their lives on hold while the ‘blessed’ straight people run around exploring premarital/post-marital/extra-marital sex, love and affection, unbound & un-convicted by their “sin” or God...only to proudly rebrand themselves later in life as a good, moral “wholesome Christian” via the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage with no questions asked. 

Inequality defined.

For Lil Nas X, everything about the society we've created for him in the last 100+ years (re: links above) has explicitly been designed for his life not to be his own. According to these and other Christians (see above), his identity is essentially supposed to be an endless rat fuck of internal confusion, suicide-ideation, depression, long-suffering, faux masculinity, heterosexism, groveling towards heaven, respectability politics, failed prayer and supplication to a heteronormative earthly and celestial hierarchy unbothered in affording LGBT people like him a healthy, sane human development. It’s almost as if the Conservative establishment (Black included) needs Lil Nas X to be like others before him: “private”, mysteriously single, suicidal, suspiciously straight or worse, dead of HIV/AIDS ...anything but driving down the street enjoying his youth as a Black Queer artist and man. So they mad about that?

Well those days are over.  

-Rogiérs is a writer, international recording artist, performer and indie label manager with 25+ years in the music industry. He also directs Black Nonbelievers of DC, a non-profit org affiliated with the AHA supporting Black skeptics, Atheists, Agnostics & Humanists. He holds a B.A. in Music Business & Mgmt and a M.A. in Global Entertainment & Music Business from Berklee College of Music and Berklee Valencia, Spain. www.FibbyMusic.net Twitter/IG: @Rogiers1

[mafianoir]

have you seen rebel without a cause bc people equate james dean with his character in that movie or rather pop culture's ridiculous misconception of said character and the entire movie and i could go on about this but if i think about it too hard i might combust

HAVE I SEEN WHWHWHWHHW-- YES OF COURSE I'VE SEEN REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE DO I LOOK LIKE--

i could never put into words how i feel ab james dean's stardom better than the post i just reblogged but also,, i feel similarly about audrey hepburn (kinda, not to the same extent bc of different circumstances) bc i absolutely adore her to pieces but i feel like when people conjure an image of her or her persona/character in their head, it's either a) holly golightly or b) angelic manic pixie dream girl who was innocent and never did wrong

i'm ranting ab audrey in particular bc i love her ik this has barely anything to do w the ask

and i felt like this was too much to put into the tags but it almost pains me bc yes audrey was this wonderful, sweet, beautiful and kind larger than life woman who always strove to help others and was selfless- but she was also so agonisingly and wonderfully human, and she suffered so much and also harbors some of her own (very human) flaws, that i feel are glossed over in order to put her on this impossible pedestal. of all old hollywood icons, audrey is one of my very favourites (if not for lauren bacall, she'd be #1) and part of why i adore audrey is BECAUSE of her flaws, sometimes she was selfish, sometimes she simply yearned for things beyond her reach. i don't have an opinion on bill holden but her whole affair with him fascinates me to no end, and it is all so very.... human of her. she simply wanted, just like the rest of us. and often she might have behaved 'immorally' because of it. we all do.

same thing with marilyn monroe- to people today she is only ever Marilyn Monroe™️, never norma jeane, never the bright, well spoken and emotional woman, only the dumb, sexy curvy blonde, only an archetype. (there's also discussion of her being lgbt, but i feel with a lack of her own actual input, it's impolite to assume. correct me if otherwise ofc) same with frank sinatra and those who aren't aware of his alleged (real) mafia ties. so many old hollywood icons that are misunderstood and misrepresented as the image they portrayed on the silver screen, their real selves kinda just... lost to time. it's not even bittersweet. just bitter.

this is not to say james dean was flawed in a problematic way or anything- i kinda went off topic and went on my own rant. it's just that these real, very human individuals are constantly shadowed by what people want them to be. james dean is a particularly special case bc of clear lgbt erasure. like 90% of old hollywood were fruity as hell and of course there's no wondering why we don't hear about that facet of them now. as an lgbt individual myself, it's so lovely to know that these icons (that i cherish far more than our modern celebrities) were just like me. but the fact i have to dig through articles and cross reference books merely hinting about their queerness- it aches to know that history would rather replace you with a character you played, than celebrate you for who you really were. like dying isn't enough, they kill you again. ugh

anyway sorry for the long essay reply hhhh cringe i didnt even say anything substantial im just here to be annoying

and lbr if half of what these old hollywood starlets got up to were posted to twitter they'd all be cancelled sksjsjsksjdj cancel culture is so stupid

also speaking of misinterpreting a movie. breakfast at tiffany's is a whole other thing hhhhrhhrhgrfhfnfnhrhr

tldr; celebrities are human and over half a century later we still haven't learned

[princesssarcastia]

Just wanted to say I love your tag "the last great american queerbait" bc yeah. It really does feel like we'll never see this level of bait in a major media property again. Which is probably a good thing, but it makes spn all the more unique...

thank you! that's from @biggersons on this post here. excuse me while i now ramble about this bullshit

i'm sure someone else has said this before on this hellsite, but YES. supernatural is one of the last of a dying breed, certainly one of the most iconic. supernatural was thee CW show to end all CW shows before it was cool. one of the last shows with such a dichotomous fan base, with dudebros vibing with all supernatural's surface level masculinity and violence on one end, and queer people screaming into the void about intricate rituals dean creates to touch the skin of other men on the other. hell, it was one of the only popular shows on TV in 2020 that still did 22 episode seasons; certainly nearly the last sci-fi/fantasy shows to do it.

remember that post about the difference between queerbaiting, queer coding, and subtext? FOR 15 YEARS SUPERNATURAL DID ALL THREE SIMULTANEOUSLY. its a work of art. homophobic, homophobic art. also racist. and sexist. why am i enjoying this content again?

There were so many different writers and directors and showrunners and camera operators even, that you have:

the showrunners and the marketing gurus running a long-con advertising will-they-or-won't-they-(they won't) queerbait on the queer people screaming into the void because the execs want their money AND the dudebro money but hate the queer identity and the fact that they kept rubbing their queer little hands all over supernatural's manly man masculine characters...

the writers who Been Knew queer coding dean and cas and getting it under the homophobic execs' noses, to the delight of their queer audience...

and the writers who were just monkeys at typewriters churning out nonsense with moments of shakespeare who kept loading on more and more subtext that made the queer audience want to take them by the shoulders and shake their heads right off.

frankly given this mess the only person left who gets to speak with any authority is misha collins, which—

this combined to make a show that is near incomprehensible as a whole but can be sanely consumed in smaller chunks or through fanfiction that burns out the stupid stuff. There's NO way it makes sense if dean and cas aren't madly in love with each other. none. the plausible no-homo ship sailed in like season 7, or like the second time one of them watched the other die and grieved like a widower.

and yet. those dudebros, with allll their money and viewership, are still there. still watching. and so the CW tries to have its cake and eat it, too. for fifteen, fucking, years. because they fear the homophobic backlash if they just fucking commit.

they were too afraid that they would stop making something profitable to realize that they could have made a work of art, that they could have made HISTORY.

no one else will do it like them again. no one will ever even get the opportunity. i can't see anything ever again coming close to having the kind of cultural impact supernatural has, that weird mix of americana and masculinity and brief flashes of themes that make your breath catch and crave more. supernatural was a mirror of american culture in the best and the WORST way, and I don't know that TV creators have the range or the desire to ever reflect us back to ourselves like that again.

there are more explicitly queer shows now that are so much better and more heartfelt, with production teams that aren't remotely predatory. I adore them all! we need them! we deserve them! I want more of them! supernatural should not be a template for anyone ever because it was objectively terrible!

but their was something magical about the tentative hope in the air while it was still going, that little voice in the back of your mind that says, it's been fifteen years!, maybe it will grow beyond its origins, maybe they can learn from their mistakes, maybe they can reach for the happy ending that is right in front of their faces if only they would look past their prejudices long enough to see it. to see us. that's why the show blew up again in the fall of 2020, during the U.S. election, because on a meta level it was reflecting our culture and the moment back to us once again.

of course, in the grand american media tradition, they set that hope on fire. one last queerbait for the road.

so. yeah. its the last great american queerbait.

[carriagelamp]

The tops books I read over the 2020 – you know, what I could fit in between the entire world collectively losing its mind and a literal plague being unleashed on us.

This is ridiculously late, but my new year was just too busy to get this done and fight with tumblr over uploading x.x so here it finally is. I won’t go into detail about them, because I did that in my various monthly reviews, but (with the exception of Crave which was unspeakably bad but made the list because it was strangely iconic for my summer this year) this assortment of novels, novellas, comics, and manga were all fantastic reads that I would recommend people check out!

The list in a not-picture form:

A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood by Fred Rogers – a collection of illustrated poems from Mister Rogers

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller – most recent queer novel by one of my favourite authors, about magic and science and war and medicine

Behind The Scenes by Bisco Hatori – a manga series by the creator of Ouran Highschool Host Club, a great coming-of-age story about a students in the theatre prop department

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor – a scifi novella about the first of the Himba people to leave for space after being accepted into the most prestige university in the galaxy

The Bromelaid Trilogy by Terry Pratchett – a series about a dying race of nomes who discover there’s more of them than they thought and more to the world than they imagined

Crave by Tracy Wolff – worst paranormal romance book I’ve ever read, derivative of, somehow, everything, do not fucking bother

The Deep by Rivers Solomon – a novella about a race of deep sea mermaids and how they cope with the traumatic history of their people

Doll Bones by Holly Black – a story about a group of kids as they struggle with growing beyond playing make believe and a ghost that may or may not be haunting them

Flawed Dogs by Berkeley Breathed – a story about dogs and how they survive in against the human standards of perfection and beauty, both hilarious and traumatically brutal

FRNCK by Olivier Bocquet & Brice Cossu – a French graphic novel series about a boy who accidentally falls back into prehistory and is adopted, somewhat reluctantly or at least with great confusion, by a family of cavemen

Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and the Secret of the Grand Chateau by Dr Cecil H. H. Mills – a Hardy Boys satire written by the Game Grumps which was probably the funniest book I read all year, I would highly recommend it even as someone with zero interest in the Game Grumps.

Gregor the Overland by Suzanne Collins – Gregor discovers a hidden world under New York populated by giant animals and strange humans that are determined to draw him into their political turmoil

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson – I feel like I read this ten years ago. The novel that the Netflix series was loosely based on, a very cool horror with fascinating themes built into the subtext

Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens by Tanya Boteju – a Canadian slice-of-life novel about a young queer teen falling into the LGBT scene for the first time and figuring out friendship, love, and who she is

The Last Book On The Left by Marcus Parks, Henry Zebrowski, and Ben Kissel. True crime stories with a comedic twist, adapted from their podcast The Last Podcast On The Left.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3 by Monkey Punch – anyone on this blog knows I fell hard for Lupin this year. A goofy series about a world class thief and his team.

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline – probably the best book of the year for me. A post-apocolypse story based around the horror of residential schools, climate change, and illness

Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyers – look I loved the Twilight series too much as a teen when it was first coming out not to have gone head over heels for this. Unabashedly loved it.

No Fixed Address by Susin Nielsen – a Canadian novel about child poverty and homelessness, more light-hearted and hopeful than it sounds

The One And Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate – a gorilla that’s spent his entire life placidly living in a tiny mall exhibit meets a new friend and suddenly has something bigger to live for and protect

Our Dreams At Dusk by Shimanami Tasogare – one of the best queer manga series I’ve ever read, super artsy and focuses on the different complicated experiences by a number of different characters

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey – alternative history novella about a gay gunslinger and his team of hippo-cowboys in Louisana as they go on the biggest heist of their careers - so worth the read, this was tons of queer fun

Sanity & Tallulah by Molly Brooks – a graphic novel about the hijinks two young children (and aspiring mad scientists) can get up to on their space station home

The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski – can you believe The Witcher came out this year? Anyway, the novels were fucking amazing, some of the best high fantasy I’ve read in years

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

The Wizard of Oz and tjlc - more thoughts

Edited to add in a link to this meta  by @bug-catcher-in-viridian-forest which inspired these thoughts - v wonderful eye for detail in these parallels and would definitely recommend reading it before this!

Entirely indebted to @bug-catcher-in-viridian-forest​, whose post made me think about this - I have no idea how recent this post is, because the time stamp says 2016 but it contains details from s4, which suggests a tumblr fuckup! But my 2c based off this -

I’m a big EMPer. And - as I mention in every meta I write, not just because it’s a hyperfixation but because it’s super important to tjlc - I’m a huge David Lynch fan. David Lynch is the guy who defined the dream-movie genre, who made it more than The Wizard of Oz and turned it into the most self-referential meta psychological thriller possible - and won huge critical plaudits for it. (Incidentally, except from Tarantino - his response to imo Lynch’s most underappreciated film, Fire Walk With Me, is hilarious. Look it up. But anyway.) Lynch is obsessed with The Wizard of Oz, and has stated it’s his favourite movie, and even went so far as to remake it as a very loosely adapted thriller in Wild at Heart. My meta on TAB (x) talks about how indebted Mofftiss are to David Lynch, and how making a dream based piece of media is basically impossible without using him as a reference point. Like a fool, I forgot Lynch’s own biggest reference point - The Wizard of Oz.

@bug-catcher-in-viridian-forest​ makes a lot of excellent parallels, but I want to pull on them in the light of EMP theory! The biggest one is that Eurus is Dorothy - red shoes, pigtails, blue and white dress. This is also, crucially, something Lynch does with his characters who are meant to parallel Dorothy - see Dorothy Vallens in Blue Velvet and her red shoes, for example.

Only the most iconic costume in the history of film. Anyway. Red shoes are also seen on the girl on the plane, although her costume is stripes, so not a perfect link - we do know, however, that they are the same person. Parallels with flying the plane and flying the house - lovely. Parallels with the name of the east wind - obviously this is derived from ACD canon, but it’s nevertheless lovely. However, where I want to jump in now is the plot of TWoO, because this is really important.

Everybody knows that Dorothy has a dog (making child!Eurus playing with Redbeard even more striking in resemblance) - but what is really important in TWoO is that her dog is going to die. That’s the reason she runs away from home, which is what leads to her getting knocked unconscious and having this mad dream. @sagestreet​ has pointed out exactly why dogs are connected with homosexuality, and I’ve elaborated in my EMP series on the idea that Sherlock realises he needs to wake up because John is suicidal without him. This ties in beyond well. Incidentally, the bit about TWoO that never works for me is that when Dorothy wakes up, Toto is still destined for death. Everybody just conveniently ignores it. What Sherlock has right - if we’re right (we may never tell, but I assure you guys that the series 5 I dreamed the other night was fantastic. is that reality shifting?*) - is that the dream can actually make a difference to the situation, because the dream is the difference between life and death. Think of If I Stay. Or something like that.

Okay. But here’s the deal. TWoO is all about home. When Dorothy is asked what she has learned from her dream (the knowledge that she needs to wake up), Dorothy says:

If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with.

If I may say, that is a terrible mantra. And I love that film. But anyway. (MGM movies are a hyperfixation - come and talk to me about them.) Mofftiss know that this is a fucked up end to a fantastic film, not least because it leaves Toto dying. In queer terms, this is a terrible end to the movie - queer film icon John Waters famously said:

So Mofftiss, with Gatiss being the good queer writer that he is, don’t take the backyard literally. Just a Dorothy’s heart’s desire was literally to be home on the farm, and that’s where she finds the impetus to wake up, what does Sherlock need to do to wake up?

I’m incapable of finding images on the web (my metas are so sparse in comparison to everyone else!) but it’s literally in his backyard, as he pushes down the fake wall to get into the garden where the answers are. And this time, home is much more complicated - the ancestry that is built up in Musgrave hall, which is metaphorically connected to the history of Sherlock Holmes as a character, is pushed down just like a wall in Sherlock’s mind, instead helping him to find an internal home, a unity with Eurus, the other part of himself. That’s the necessary home here, not the home-as-absolute-normality that TWoO seems to espouse, which is inevitably exclusive of queerness. And then we get that literal scene of Eurus waking up inside her bedroom from this nightmare scenario she has invented.

The original post also points out comparisons between John and the scarecrow and Sherlock and the tin man, but I think it’s more helpful to understand the theme linking the three friends of Dorothy (no pun intended ;) ). The idea here is that all of them are convinced that they lack something because of the way they are made, but of course they learn throughout the dream that they have it intrinsically. As I’ve mentioned above, Dorothy is where that logic falls down - it also doesn’t work as nicely thematically with the lion, because lions are not supposed to be cowardly - scarecrows, on the other hand, are supposed to be brainless, and tin men are supposed to lack hearts. The idea that you can go beyond the role assigned to you and still find the love you’re not allowed to have - that is peak EMP theory. Nothing better. And the fact that it ties back into the original dream movie - !!

I genuinely haven’t given this a huge amount of thought - these are cursory thoughts. I want to go and watch Wild at Heart and get back with more thoughts, because I’m pretty sure there will be a lot more parallels on overlaying TWoO onto a much darker story.

Anyway! @sagestreet​ @sarahthecoat​ @lukessense​ @therealsaintscully​ @possiblyimbiassed​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @raggedyblue​ @helloliriels​ if you’re interested!

[meret118]

"Book of Queer" How to watch: Premiered on Discovery+

The most appropriate way to kick off Pride Month is with a celebration of LGBTQ+ history, honouring the heroes who likely never imagined there would be a month-long explosion of rainbow merchandise and corporate statements.

With the help of queer historians and experts, "The Book of Queer" aims to shed light on historical figures whose contributions have been overlooked, or their queer identities erased, by mainstream society. Narrated by queer icons and featuring an entirely LGBTQ+ ensemble cast, the five-episode series will include stories about Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bayard Rustin, Josephine Baker, Harvey Milk, Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson and more.As conservative lawmakers across the US attempt to ban educators from even acknowledging the existence of queer and trans people in classrooms, this series, infusing facts with comedy and musical fun, is a vital reminder that LGBTQ+ people have existed throughout history.

"Dead End: Paranormal Park" How to watch: Premieres June 16 on Netflix in the US

Fans of queer cartoons should make sure to clear their schedules for the arrival of "Dead End: Paranormal Park." The animated horror-comedy, based on creator Hamish Steele's graphic novel series "DeadEndia," follows trans teen Barney (voiced by Zach Barack) who gets a job at the local haunted theme park where an encounter with a demon gives his dog Pugsley (Alex Brightman) the ability to talk.

The coming-of-age story will see Barney, along with his pal Norma (Kody Kavitha), encounter zombies, ghosts and other supernatural beings while also navigating family, identity and even crushes.

The current political climate is especially hostile toward queer and trans youth, so an LGBTQ+-inclusive kids and family series in which a young trans protagonist (voiced by a trans actor) finds a space and friends that let him embrace his true self and laugh along the way cannot premiere soon enough.

"First Kill" How to watch: Premieres June 10 on Netflix

If you’re dying for a dose of delicious supernatural queer teen angst, look no further than "First Kill." Based on a short story by V.E. Schwab, the series puts a young lesbian twist on the classic forbidden romance between a vampire and a slayer.

Teenage vampire Juliette Fairmont (Sarah Catherine Hook) has hit vamp adolescence and is finally expected to kill and feed on actual humans. Although she has been pushing back against this rite of passage for as long as possible, Jules can't help but be drawn to her crush, Calliope Burns (Imani Lewis). Cal, a recent transfer student, has a secret of her own: She's the youngest daughter of a family of monster hunters.

Cal is eager to prove that she can take down a demon by herself, but she quickly discovers that killing Juliette is as impossible as denying her feelings for her. The series should appeal to anyone who thought "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Twilight" would have been better if it were gay.

"Queer as Folk" How to watch: Premieres June 9 on Peacock

The men, the sex and the city are hotter than Hades in Peacock’s multicultural, New Orleans-set remake of the pioneering soap, this time without the same over-reliance on white, cis men to propel the narrative. (Whether you see its depiction of a mass murder reminiscent of the Pulse nightclub shooting as a strained device or an apt reflection of current affairs and LGBTQ history is another matter.)

Still, carving out new terrain by moving Babylon to Frenchmen Street, and queer Southerners — especially queer people of color — to the foreground, this "Queer as Folk" conjures its share of carnal pleasures. As Brodie's (Devin Way) move home upends the lives of his ex (Johnny Sibilly) and a talented young drag artist (Fin Argus), you can have your bourbon ginger and drink it too. As for the rest, painfully earnest and more than a little pained do not read, in this particular political moment, as terribly far off the mark.

More at the link.

[fyeahwaywardvictorians]

Alternatives to Emilie Autumn, Part 6/?: The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

If you liked the asylum story itself (or just felt like it didn’t live up to it’s potential) try:

American Mc’Gee’s Alice/Alice: Madness Returns:

I actually got into the Emilie Autumn fandom because her music reminded me of this game. Also--that whole incident where she changed her last name to Liddell and told everyone that her parents died in a fire?--my theory is that she was lowkey kinning the protagonist of this series, and quite frankly I can’t blame her.

Be forewarned, however, that the fandom has no shortage of drama--to the point that I avoided any involvement with it altogether for a few years. Still, a beautiful series of games that I highly recommend.

A Series of Unfortunate Events:

I’m a little biased because this is my other obsession, but in many ways it’s exactly what the asylum book was trying to be: a darkly comedic satire about the experiences of abuse victims and the societal conditions that allow abuse to happen unchecked.

I’d recommend the books first and foremost, although the Netflix adaption is pretty faithful, aside from the wonky pacing. As for the movie... well, the costumes are kinda neat (although the last time I said that on tumblr i totally got vagued lol).

The Knick:

A hospital drama set in turn-of-the-century New York, centering around the scientific innovations of the time, with my favorite subplot focusing on the struggles of a talented Black doctor to establish himself in the medical community (even though he’s not in this trailer for some reason). Note that I’ve only seen a few episodes because I don’t have HBO. So far, it’s a bit gratuitous at times (really dude? did you have to inject cocaine right into your dick?), and the racism exhibited by much of the ensemble cast makes them... not entirely sympathetic. Still, it’s worth a watch if you’re half as obsessed with medical history as I am.

The Town of Light:

A woman (ghost?) wanders the abandoned remains of the Italian asylum where she spent her youth, telling her story in cryptic flashbacks. Although something of a slow-paced “walking simulator,” it provides an unusually realistic and nuanced depiction of the abuse that often took place in such institutions, with a striking art style (I’ve included a still image because the trailer doesn’t really do it justice). Be forewarned, it’s very bleak, and left me feeling pretty bummed out for a day or two, as well as having depictions of sexual abuse.

Edward Gorey:

Writer, illustrator, queer icon, goth king. Best known for his his unsettling and very sarcastic neo-victorian picture books.  His best-known work is probably The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a rhyming alphabet about children dying in various absurd ways. If you’re looking for something a bit lighter (but still very Gothic), I personally recommend The Doubtful Guest, a quirky picture book about an Edwardian family inconvenienced by a weird little penguin thing that eats dishes.

Ten Days in a Mad House:

The nonfiction account of undercover journalist Nellie Bly, who, in 1887, posed as a patient at a notorious New York asylum. There she uncovered terrible living conditions, physically and verbally abusive nurses, and utterly clueless doctors. Notably, she found it far easier to get in than out. Read it for free here.