#Id like to have more usual and everyday experiences with relationships I would like to be not this sensitive and move on easily

[irascible-iridescent]

Why is it every time I try to sleep I feel like I want to be loved and Id like at least one chance to experience some real love? Gonna be alright in the morning tho

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT.2 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

WC: 2.892

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

I am awoken by the blaring sound of my alarm. Why do I always have to wake up when my bed gets so comfy? I groan, fighting the urge to snooze my alarm, checking the time while at it. It's six now, two hours to make this face look like it has seen more than four hours of sleep.

I check my messages before washing up. Walking out to the bathroom to put on my outfit. Some 90's style jeans and a body hugging cropped shirt. Nothing too much, I'll have to wear my scrubs anyway. I make my bed and do some breathing exercises to calm my nerves, meeting new people was still a big challenge for me. I finish eating breakfast and turn on the coffee machine for a nice frothy cup of coffee. Admiring the view behind my window as I sip the last bit of my coffee. The city is not entirely up yet, people still enjoying their last minutes of sleep before going to work or school.

Walking back to my room for the best part of my morning, doing my make up! I apply my base carefully. First day means first impressions, I can't go overboard, not yet. I curl my long lashes, coating them with mascara. Lining my lips with brown liner, some lip balm on top for a subtle look. I take out my jewelry box, grabbing my usual gold necklace. It was custom made, adorning my name, a graduation gift from my mom. I look into the mirror, humming a song in satisfaction as I do my hair. I grab my bag, stuffing it with things I might need throughout the day. Finally, putting on my Nike dunks and leaving my house.

I walk downstairs to my car. Thankfully my dad had arranged for it to be imported from Spain a couple weeks ago, when I accepted this job. My dad had a thing for paying for my things, maybe it  was to make up for our strained relationship or something. Either way, I wasn't going to refuse his help, it benefited us both anyways. He'd feel like a present father, and I'd feel like he cared.

I jump into my car, the dashboard lighting up. I run my hands around the steering wheel for some comfort before I hit the road. The leather soft as I trace the Mercedes logo, I loved this baby. My G-class never failed to make me feel like the bad bitch I am. I told you working hard and spending hard had its perks. I turn on the navigation system, hoping it would take me straight to the training grounds without any issues.

I turn on some music, trying to drown out my nerves and thoughts. It was never too early for some Drake. I try to pay special attention to my surroundings, since the more I memorize, the faster I can get used to this route. My navigation system pings as it tells me I've arrived. I scan my surroundings, being greeted by a security post. I drive up to it, turning my music off and rolling my window down.

"Good morning, I'm here for the new physiotherapist job." I flash the security guard a smile, he is an older man, his hair graying slightly. I might as well get friendly since I'll be here almost everyday from today onwards. "Morning to you as well. Could you some show me some sort of identification, please?." I can't help but stare at the man, his scoucer accent making it hard for me to understand right away, I should get used to it quickly. I nod quickly pulling my ID from my wallet. He looks at it, scanning through a list, probably a list of staff? His eyes light up as he, I presume sees my name on the list. "Welcome, Dr. l/n, I'll call up the head coach so he can greet you at the door." He gives me a kind smile, handing me my ID back. "Thank you, I appreciate it." I shove my ID back into my wallet, driving into the training center parking lot as the gates open for me. I park, collecting my bag as I jump out of my car. Though, not before fixing my hair and make up.

I take in my surroundings, so this is what I'll be partially calling home now. I notice some other, what I presume to be staff walk into the training center. I walk in as well, immediately being greeted by the huge Liverpool FC emblem. I hold onto my bag tightly, trying to contain my nerves.

I look to my right, the reception. The woman behind the desk looks up, flashing me a smile as I go up to her, sitting down on the chair in front of her desk.

"Hi, I'm y/n l/n. I'm here for the physiotherapist job." She stares at me for a moment, before typing something on the computer. "Nice to meet you! I'm Clara, welcome to our family. I'll call down our head physio, just a second honey.”

Her response warms my heart as I nod. So far, I think I'll feel quite comfortable here. She picks up the phone, though her expression changes into one of surprise as she looks behind me, over my shoulder. "Oh, he is here already."

My eyes follow hers, being greeted by a man, around his 50's. He walks up to me, extending his hand to me. "Welcome Dr. l/n. I've heard a lot about you, nice to finally see the woman being so highly spoken of by my colleagues." I smile and grab his hand in a firm handshake. "It's an honor to finally meet you, Dr. Woods."

He chuckles, before letting go of my hand. "Let's talk more inside, the boss wants to meet you as well." I turn back towards Clara, mumbling a quick thank you to her, before following Dr. Woods inside the training center. I glance around, it’s is even bigger in real life. I had watched some YouTube video's of the club just to prepare and calm my anxiety, but seeing it in real life was very different. We stop in front of an office, the label reading 'Manager'. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I'd already be meeting THE Klopp. I rub my hands together trying to get rid of that anxious feeling.

Dr. Woods knocks on the door loudly, the door is opened a couple of seconds later, revealing Klopp.

"Hey, I'm here to introduce our new physiotherapist." The doctor informs. Klopp looks at me, giving me one of his famous smiles. "Right of course, come in." He opens the door wider, we both walk in. He ushers us to sit down on his red sofa's. He sticks out his hand, we shake hands as he introduces himself, with that all too well known German accent. "It's always nice to greet new members of our big family. Welcome, I'm Jürgen Klopp." I introduce myself as well, his eyes light up in recognition as I tell him my name. "I've heard very great things about you Dr. l/n. I'm very happy to see you here."

"No it's an honor for me, this club is amazing and I'm happy to contribute to the team." I reply, my worries and nerves had been washed away just like- that. I just know that this was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We start chatting about how I've adjusted to living here, my education and my experience before they start asking different questions.

"So that means you speak how many languages?"

Dr. Woods asks curiously.

"Well my native tongues would be Dutch since I was born and raised in The Netherlands and Turkish, since I'm half Turkish. I'm also fluent in English as you can hear." We chuckle. "Though I do speak some Spanish and Catalan since I worked at FC Barcelona for two years, as you know."

"Great so you'll have no problem with speaking to the players huh? Especially our very loved Dutch players." We laugh at Klopps comment. I secretly hope that too.

Our conversation comes to an end as Klopp suggests I meet the players. He checks his watch, before looking at me. "Players will come in any moment now. They'll start with warming up." Dr. Woods chimes in. "It will be a recovery day since the team played a match yesterday as you may have followed."

Oh yeah I did. I watched it just so I could take notes on the players, the draw at the end was kind of disappointing. Though, it was better than losing.

"Right, I did watch it. Just to study a little before I do see the team play in real life."

"You're impressive Doctor, doing homework before even starting to work." Klopp says. "Oh it's nothing really, just prepares me for what I might encounter as I start working here." I dismiss.

We stand up after a short while, Dr. Woods taking me to put on my scrubs. I mentally pray they have pink ones, both of my former clubs did have them. He walks up to a machine, telling me exactly how the scrub dispenser worked. I nod, pressing some buttons before choosing my size. The scrubs are a- dark red? Well, at least they are part of the club colors. Dr. Woods leads me to the woman's staff changing room. I walk and change quickly putting my hair up in a claw clip.

I walk out of the room after putting my stuff in my locker, and installing a code on it. "I'm ready."

I tell him, he looks at my scrubs for a second. "Red looks great on you Dr. l/n, part of the family already." We chuckle before he leads me to the gym.

A sudden wave of nervousness hits me. I had known that the players were very friendly, still I couldn't help but feel like an unsure inexperienced intern again. We walk into the gym, it's big with plenty of space for calisthenic training like, push-ups and burpees. I look around seeing some the worlds best star players. I've worked some of the best football players like Lewandowski and Frenkie de Jong, but this still felt super insane.

I notice Klopp walking in as he calls for the players to gather around to introduce me. I glance around, they all give me a kind smile as Klopp tells them I'll be their new physiotherapist starting this new season, and of course he couldn't help but mention I'm Dutch. "Nice to meet everyone, I look forward to working with you all." I give them a smile, my dimples on full display. Suddenly, one of the players walks up to me, I immediately recognize him, who wouldn't? It's the caption of the team, well of his national team too. Virgil towers over me, sticking out his hand, his tall frame couldn't be compared to what you see on TV or the pitch. "Welcome to our team y/n, or should I call you doctor." He flashes me a beautiful smile, making me shake his hand and smile in respons. "Hi, y/n is fine, it's good to be here." Other players come to greet me as well, not to forget Robertson, who has to crack a joke about another Dutch person joining the club. "You'd think it was planned huh." We laugh and chat for a bit before Klopp redirects the attention back to him.

"Alright everyone, it's recovery day so take it easy and tell our doctors if something's up as they assist you."

Dr. Woods turns to me, telling me to follow his lead as I slowly start getting the gist of how everything works here. I nod at him, watching as he talks to the players about any soreness they're experiencing.

The day progress quickly as lunch time hits, we walk into the canteen. Seems like players and staff eat at the same time just like in Barcelona.

I walk through the the buffet as I'm greeted by Gakpo.

"Dus je bent echt Nederlands?" (So you're actually Dutch?) he asks in Dutch, full of curiosity. "Natuurlijk, geboren en getogen. Net als jij." (Of course born and raised. Just like you.)

He gives me a cute smile before we continue speaking in Dutch as we fill up our plates with healthy and delicious food.

He invites me to sit with the team. I glance at him wondering if it is a good idea. Well I did sit with the players at Barca too. "Are you sure?" I ask. "Yeah, look around players sit with staff at every table." I take a glance around, he was right staff and players were sitting together at every table. Chatting and laughing together. "Okay then, I'll sit with you guys."

He leads me to a table, already occupied by Trent, Virgil, Joel, Andrew and new star transfer Dominik Szoboszlai. "Doctor, very nice of you to sit with us." Virgil chimes in. "Well I couldn't refuse when Cody offered, we're practically already family based on the fact that we're Dutch hm." The table erupts in laughter, as we glance at Cody. "Of course the Dutch lad steals the doctor before we get to know her." Trent teases, his Scouse accent thick. "Where did you work before joining us?" Robbo asks, shoving a spoonful food into his mouth. Everyone at the table turns to me for my answer.

I clear my throat before answering. "I first interned at Ajax, I got a three year contact there after graduating. Then I got offered a position at Barcelona, worked there for two years." They nod in acknowledgement. Before Cody mentions something. "Oh you're the famous pretty doctor?!" I stare at him confused. "What do you mean?" "Well the national team players used to always talk about a pretty doctor working at Ajax." I raise a brow at his words, glancing at Virgil to confirm, since he also is apart of the national team. "Can't lie Doctor, they did talk about a pretty Doctor." I give them an impressed look. "I guess that would be me?" I chuckle.

We chat some more as everyone chimes in, though some of their faces turning confused. "Wait how old are you then?" One of them asks. "Oh I'm twenty-five." I reply. "Wow, you're pretty impressive for someone so young." Joel says. I thank him as we all continue eating and chatting in between bites.

Recovery training had gone by fast. I had gotten much more familiar with team and how they operate. Klopp dismisses everyone, as we all walk back into our designated changing rooms. Though, I'm quickly stopped by Dr. Woods. He tells me he'll make sure someone adds me to the staff group chat, as well as the group chat the entire club is in. We then bid each other goodbye as I enter the female staff changing room. I take a minute to sit down and to take it all in, that really just happend huh.

I change quickly putting my outfit back on and discarding my scrubs into the laundry basket. I do a quick make up refresh and hair fix before I grab my bag and take out my car keys. I walk through the hallways slowly, looking around for things I might have not seen yet. I’m totally in my own world before I hear my name being called. I turn around, I'm greeted by both Trent and Dominik, seems like they had been getting along nicely since Dominik had transferred here.

"Are you going out?" The new star asks. "Yeah, you guys aren't?" I lift a brow at them. I can see small smirks on their faces, they look like schoolboys hiding something. "Oh yes, we're leaving just now." We chat a little before we walk outside, saying goodbye to Clara at the reception. I notice other cars had parked right next to mine. "Bye doctor, we'll see ya tomorrow, right?" The Scoucer says. I nod "See you guys!" They wave before they both get into their respective cars.

I unlock my car, climbing in before closing the door. I place my bag onto the passengers seat, leaning back for a second. First day: survived.

Sadly, my peace is interrupted by a loud car horn. I raise my head and lower my window, it's the car next to me? I squint, it's an English car so I can see who it is from my seat. The person lowers down his windows as well. It's Virgil?

"What's wrong?" I half shout, so he can hear me through the loud engine of his car. "Nothing just wanted your attention." I chuckle, man these football players never got tired of teasing people. I roll my eyes playfully, before starting my car. I wave at him, before driving my car out of the parking slot.

I get home rather quickly, my speakers playing my favorite songs loudly. I enter my house, feeling fulfilled. I throw myself on my couch after washing up. I reflect on the day, the players and staff were amazingly kind. Though, that small interaction with Trent and Dominik was weird, why were they so smirky?

[mackeydoodledoo]

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 6

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: None for this Final Chapter!

A/N: I thought I was going to make this series longer, but I decided to end it here! But, I might make some smaller stories branching off from this series if you guys are interested in that! But, thanks for enjoying this series!

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As you stepped through the locker room doors, you were face to face with many people you weren’t familiar with. However, you immediately spotted Dean Dimitrescu, Cassandra, Daniela and your folks.

“Now, we would like to welcome Dimitrescu University Women’s Swim and Dive Team!” The announcer announces through a P.A Box

Aside from the cheering ringing into your ears, you also felt your heartbeat; not only in your chest but also in your ears. You often don’t enjoy that however, it being your first College state finals, you both felt the emotions of happiness and anxiety.

“First up is the 200 m Freestyle Event!” The announcer blurts out

You strip off your swim team jacket and hand id to Bela as you put on your goggles, the back straps hitting the back of your wrapped head as you step up onto the block.

“Take your Marks,” A referee announces

Lifting your bottom into the air, you use as much force to leap into the water when you hear a ‘beep’ go off in the arena. Like the watching your first initiation on your first day on the swim team, Bela watches your muscles flex every time they broke the surface of the water. From under the water, you could hear the cheers of your teammates and everyone around you. However, you begin drowning them out unconsciously.

What’s going on?... Why can’t I... Hear them?

When your fingers dive back under the water, you could feel a current ‘splitting’ between your arm. You remembered that feeling, when you went to the beach for the first time in your life when you were 5. Of course, you were in the shallow end but, you experimented the same thing you had just done with your arm.

Everything’s... Peaceful.

You weren’t sure what had happened in the last several laps however, when you spread your fingers to touch the wall of the pool, you, again felt the same current you felt when you were 5. You lift your head out of the water and look up at the time board, Dimitrescu Swim team came first.. You could hear Cassandra, Daniela, your folks and your team cheer for you as Bela helps you out of the water. You looked up at the time board again and noticed you were a whole two seconds ahead.

“How did you do that?!” Bela asks

“I don’t know...” You say, but still smiling

You watch the other events go down and you do a couple of other Freestyle events. It came to Bela’s Butterfly event, you we’re basically on the sidelines, hoping to get the best out of watching Bela. 

“Take your marks,” The referee announces

Once the usual ‘beep’ echoes through the arena, you watch Bela’s form dive into the water like the graceful woman she is. You cheer her on like the rest of your teammates but you also watch her back muscles flex as she breaks the surface of the water to breathe and propel herself through. However, you look at another team’s butterfly swimmer and they’re gaining on Bela. They manage to pass her as she smirked at Bela.

“You got this Bela!” Your scream of encouragement echoes through the arena

She seemed to have heard you as she began to pick up her pace, Like a butterfly in the wind, Bela turns the round and begins feeling the water ‘fly’ past her. 

Why do I feel like I’m flying all of a sudden? Where’s everybody?

Just as Bela’s palm hits the end of the wall, she looks at the time board for her event; she was also two second ahead of everyone else.

“Bela!” You scream happily for her, running over to her to help her out of the water

“How did you do that?!” You ask her this time

“I have no idea,” Bela gives the same answer as you do

You and Bela decided to have some alone time while your diving team was going on.

“So, let me get something clear,” You start, “You felt like you were flying as you felt the current of the water become wind-like?”

Bela nods, “likewise with the way you were swimming in your event, you felt actual water currents?”

You nod, “I just feel so at peace with water and when I’d feel a current, I have a tendency to swim faster, against or with the current.”

“You sound like a fish,” Bela teases you

“A fish you fell in love with,” You tease back

Bela leans over and places a few fingers under your chin to lift your lips up to hers. The both of you share a small kiss before the both of you hear knocking.

“You two, it’s time for the final event!” Your guide calls

Bela exits the door first, with you in tow.

“Show e a sight I’ve never seen before,” Bela teases you one last time

As your heart races, you see the first two teammates ahead of you. You were going last. You watch your backstroke swimmer plop into the water to grip onto the bottom of the block to prep her backstroke. 

“Take your marks!” the referee announces

They all lift themselves slightly; arching their backs like perfect arches at a museum, diving into the water. Your breast stroke swimmer preps herself onto the block, taking her mark; leaping when she touched the wall. You watch Bela prep for her butterfly however, he turns to look back at you and you swore your heart skipped a beat, again.

“Go captain!” You cheer her on when Bela leaps for the butterfly

You take your mark on the block, prepping for your freestyle. You take a big inhale, holding it.

“Go y/n!” Bela’s head emerges from the water

To her, you became a dolphin. You swam a whole lot faster than at practice or other meets. 

“Captain you need to get out,” Her teammate says

Bela snaps out of her daze when she notices you rounding the corner. You feel the similar current between your fingers and you begin feeling the current beginning to drag you behind. However, you begin flexing your muscles to push yourself even further.

“Go Y/N!” Bela and your team cheers

You could hear them from the other side of the water. Your hand breaks the surface of the water and you feel the wall on your palm. You finally get to stand in the water and you yank off your swim cap and goggles. When you open your eyes you could hear cheering. You jolt your head up to the scoreboard and notice Dimitrescu University Swim and Dive in the first place slot. You get yourself out of the pool and group hug with your team. 

“We did it!” Bela yells

She meets with Coach Donna to receive the first place trophy and you just stare in awe when Bela is holding the trophy, slightly showing off her muscles.

You and Bela finally decided to break the news to both the team and to both of your families after state finals during the banquet. The whole team were teasing the both of you how the both of you finally decided to make the move on each other. Dean Dimitrescu became supportive of you and basically welcomed you into the Dimitrescu family. 

“So... It was obvious?” You ask both Daniela and Cassandra

“It was,” Daniela answers for both her and her older sister

“We just didn’t want to say anything to make you guys feel pressured.” Cassandra adds

When finals hit it was a living hell. However, Bela, being the supportive girlfriend she was, got you through them all. 

“Thank you Bela,” You smile, grabbing a coffee mug from her, “Do you want to get lunch after today’s finals?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Bela answers you, “My treat though.”

“Bela-”

Before you could argue with her, she tugs on your scarf and pulls you in for a kiss. You feel your cheeks heat up once she pulls away.

“Whatever you say princess,” You say breathlessly

“Now get to class kid,” She teases you

You finish your first half of freshman year with some A’s and some B’s and you couldn’t be prouder of yourself. However, you were grateful for Bela’s help.

“I wouldn’t have passed without your help though babe,” You smile, leaning back into your chair and sipping on a glass of water.

“But you were the one who managed to ace every single study session love,” Bela smiles from her mug of coffee, “How many more do you need to do?”

“Just one more, that’s tonight,” You answer, “After that I’m all set.”

“Come back to your place after,” Bela smirks

You blush, “O-Okay...”

When you finished your last final, you had decided to spend your winter break with the Dimitrescu family, of course inviting your own family for Christmas at the request of the Alcina.

“Glad you’re getting friendly with the dean y/n,” Your mother smiles, “It’s not everyday a student would find themselves doing so.”

“But, I did tell Ms. Dimitrescu to not give me any special treatment while I study at her university,” You say 

“The only special treatment I will give you is my eldest daughter,” Alcina says

You choke on your drink as your folks let out an uncontrolable laughter. You look across the table and notice Bela had given you a wink as she sips her wine. 

“Mother isn’t wrong,” Bela vouches for her mother’s words

You continue choking on your drink while everyone at the table breaks out into a laugh.

“I’m glad you finally found yourself a girl too kiddo,” Your dad pats your head again

“She absolutely swept me off my feet,” Bela continues teasing you

You try to hide your blushing, to no avail. 

Your parents leave for the rest of your winter break as you wanted to spend new years with Bela and her family. However, Alcina had to go back on campus early to prepare her university for the Winter Semester. You and Bela were snuggling against each other underneath Bela’s silk sheets and lavish blankets. 

“What’d you think of my parents?” You ask out of curiosity

“I think they’re so much like you,” Bela smiles

“Are they now?” You ask, smiling down at her

She nods as she lifts her head up as you dip your down, meeting each others’ lips halfway.

“Swim season is over,” You add, changing the subject entirely, “What do you normally do after the season?”

“Study my ass off,” Bela sighs, “But, right now, be with you.”

“What are you studying?” You ask, realizing you never asked Bela that question before

“Environmental Sciences,” She answers

You know... That actually fits her...

“That’s pretty interesting,” You say, “Anything specific you’d want to do there?”

“Not at the moment,” Bela says, “I’ll figure it out when I graduate this spring..”

You almost forgot that Bela was a Senior college student. However, despite that you were a college freshman, the both of you didn’t really care about the decent age gap.

“Are you going to go for the Captain position when I’m gone?” Bela asks

“I’ll try out,” You say, slightly unsure, “But, there has never been a Sophomore captain.”

“You’ll never know,” Bela says, “Maybe Coach Beneviento will see your potential as a leader.”

“Hmm,” You sigh, “You’re right, but I’m going to worry about my next season of indoor percussion.”

“Hoodie’s mine,” Bela mumbles against your chest

“Babe, we don’t even have that stuff yet,” You yawn

“Doesn’t matter, it’s mine,” She yawns, “I love you.”

I haven’t told her I love her yet... But she should know right? I’ve always shown her through physical affection...

You prop yourself up on your elbows, catching her off guard. You cup your free hand against her cheek and dip your head down to meet her lips again. The kiss was gentle and light but when you hear Bela let out a gentle moan, you begin growling and making the kiss more heated. 

“Damn,” Bela sighs when you pull your lips away

“I love you,” You finally bring yourself to say

Epilogue

[rivetwrites]

kaito fluff alphabet maybe? apologies if you already did it lol

//of course i can!! this is also for the other anon who asked!!

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Kaito Momota Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Kaito loves going outside with you after sundown to look at the stars! He can go on and on about which star is which, when the solar system was created, when the sun will explode! If you get too cold, he would wrap you in his jacket and carry you inside to watch some space documentaries! He really loves showing his passion with you, and hopefully you can learn stuff from him!

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He’s a very stubborn and boisterous guy, so patience is a virtue. You’ll also have to be stubborn as well, making him shut up for once before he talks off his head. On you, he loves your eyes! He loves looking at them under the starlight whenever you two go outside during the night.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Kaito is horrible with comforting. He feels like a good workout with your friends is a good way to get rid of your bad feelings! Sometimes he’ll have to be reminded that it doesn’t work like that, and he’ll start to get serious. He’d bring you candy and sugary drinks, bringing you to his chest as he lets you talk it out. 

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has many dreams for the future! He would like to have a family too, but after he’s gone to space and have a stable job, of course. He wants to be able to provide for you and the family!

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Definitely the dominant one, he’s the man of the house! ....Until you tell him that you and him should have equal parts in the relationship, then he’ll begrudgingly accept. He’s never been in a proper relationship before, so the two of you together will learn new experiences! 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Kaito is very carefree, and would sometimes never see if you’re upset or not. He’s optimistic, so whenever he makes you upset, he’ll see it as you getting fired up for workouts! When that’s not the case, he’ll get embarrassed and apologize to you. Whenever you make him upset, he’s very stubborn and would give you the silent treatment. Until he’s not able to keep his mouth shut anymore, then he’ll accept your apology.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s extremely grateful for you and how you’ve helped him and his friends! He’s more on the smooth brain side when it comes to noticing what you do for him, but a good reminder from Shuichi and a smack on the head from Maki, he’ll return the favour ten fold.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Insanely honest, and he never really hides anything from you. He’s an open guy and he trusts you! He’s not the very best at keeping heavy secrets, since he tends to overshare to his friends, but a good smack on the side of the head will knock some sense into him.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve probably helped him be able to cope with his emotions in a more healthy manner. He was taught that men shouldn’t cry or feel any sadness inside. That they should be “real men.” With you, he was able to be vulnerable and slowly lose the old fashioned way of thinking. You’ve probably learned how to be more positive and look at the more positive outlook on situations!

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Whenever he even spots someone even attempting to flirt with you, he gets defensive and aggressive. He’ll make sure that they know that you two are together, but if they persist, he’ll punch them in the face. You’d have to drag him off before he seriously hurts the person. Afterwards, he’d apologize for being so careless and say that he just doesn’t want to lose you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

The first kiss with him would be slightly awkward. He’s tall and clumsy as he smashed his lips into yours. He’s not embarrassed by it though! “Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to practice!”

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Usually, he would try to play off his feelings as “amazing friendship,” but Shuichi and Maki would have to tell him otherwise. At first, he wouldn’t want to be in a relationship, since he’s too busy trying to get into space, but the feelings would become too much for him. He’ll drag you off into somewhere private, trying to play it off as going to train, and confess to you. When you accept, he’ll have the biggest grin on his face, lifting you up to give you a big hug.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’d love to get married to you! He would pop the question while you two would be eating, or in the most random moment. The wedding will be pretty big, inviting his friends and family! He wants it to be the night to remember for the both of you.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Anything space related! “My little star,” “sunshine,” or just “babe,” when he wants to be more classic.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kaito would scoop you into his arms, carrying you back to bed as he wrapped the both of you into the blankets. He would confess (loudly) his love for you over and over again until you giggle. He won’t leave you alone for awhile, stealing kisses from you every now and again.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Kaito always has his arm around you in public, silently telling everyone around you that you’re not for the taking. Small cheek kisses would be often with him too! He’s not embarrassed at all! Sometimes he’ll gloat, as he feels like the luckiest guy in the world to be with you!

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s very optimistic! He always finds the light in a bad situation, which sometimes can be annoying when you just want to complain, but he tries his best! He’s also very protective, so if anyone is ever hurting you, he’ll hurt him twice as bad!

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s a bit of both. Sometimes he’ll be cliché and give you cheesy little dates, but usually, he wants excitement! His biggest dream date would be to take you to space with him! 

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Biggest supporter out there. If he can get into a college level test with a fake ID, he can do anything for you to reach your goals. He also has goals that he’s still working to, so he’ll help you with yours too!

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Definitely wants to try out new things with you! Everything happens spontaneous with him, so there’s never a routine with him. Sometimes you’ll need to slow him down, since he’s always so excited to do stuff with you.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He doesn’t really understand your feelings that much, since he doesn’t really know how to healthily deal with his own. But if he even sees you the slightest bit of sad, he will scoop you into his arms and do his best to try to make you laugh!

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’ll say it until the end of time, that you mean more to him than space itself! He makes sure that you know that he loves you everyday.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

You and Kaito watch documentaries a lot, which they’re mostly about space. He’ll talk and talk into detail about what’s going on. Usually you’d fall asleep, since he can go on and on. When he notices, he turns off the TV, wrapping you in a blanket and carry you to bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He loves kissing and cuddling you any chance he gets! He always has his hands on you, no matter where you two are. His favourite is having you lay on his chest as you two lay on the couch and watch TV!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Usually being with his friends or working out will help him forget about you being gone, but Shuichi and Maki would be extremely annoyed, since he would never shut up about you. Once you return, he’d scoop you up into his arms, peppering you face in small kisses as he confesses how much he missed you.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

If he was able to get a fake ID just to take a college test about astronomy, you damn well know he’ll go all out for you.

[muwur]

hii :-) ur writing is so cute!!! could i uhh get some super fluffy mayb a lil suggestive one shot or scenario about being quarantined with oikawa post-time skip? 🥺

quarantining

✩ oneshot ✩ for oikawa

❧ gn reader

✎ 2.2k words

a/n: gotchu! hopefully i didnt take too long ;(( i have trouble getting inspo, it usually will hit me all at once or neverr. hope you like cx

wishin i got some quality times during quarantine, y/n out here rlly living their best n domestic life smh

also, i hope this was fluffy! ik i made it a bit silly and playful so i hope thats ok! lmk if you would like me to attempt again and id be more than happy too cx

requests: open!

So far, it’s been a month into quarantine. Despite having lived with Oikawa’s needy self for the past two years, being stuck at home with him all the time definitely tested your patience, especially when he was bored, seeking attention, and missing volleyball.

“Oikawaaa, hold on, I’m almost done with work. Maybe talk to Iwa for a bit until I’m free,” you suggested as you typed away at your computer, not even sparing your whiny boyfriend a glance as he lamented about his boredom.

“Iwa’s already asleeeppp and there’s nothing to do hereeeee,” he complained. He pulled up a seat next to you and poked your cheek repeatedly. “Having a long distance best friend and an s/o who doesn’t care about you is harddd, why does life give me such a hard time?” he despaired, referring to his best friend who lived in another country, and you, his partner, who was trying to do work so you both could be financially stable in the middle of this pandemic.

You rolled your eyes in response and turned in your chair to face him, grabbing his cheeks in your hands and giving them a squeeze. “Boohoo, I think someone’s gotten a little too used to having fan girls entertain him all the time.” You gave his pouty lips a quick peck. “I’ll be done in 20 minutes, max. Go watch some tik toks or something.”

After you returned to doing your work, Oikawa settled for wrapping his arms   from behind you and resting his chin on top of your head. He hummed to himself some trendy tik tok song he discovered the other day as he played with your hair, and you found the vibrations from his throat and the soft tugs on your scalp strangely soothing.

As much as you rolled your eyes or scoffed at his antics, you loved when he would go out of his way to catch your eye. Oikawa knew what would get to you. He could make you smile, laugh, piss you off, or comfort you in an instant.

You felt your heart soften at a memory from not too long ago.

“Hmmmmm,” Oikawa thought aloud, stroking his chin with his thumb. “Put that one... here.”

“Yes ma’am,” you responded, placing a pillow in the gap between two other pillows. Then, you both took opposite ends of the same blanket, draping it over the array of pillows you arranged on the living room floor and thus completing your pillow fort.  

He eagerly slid inside the castle and patted the spot next to him. “y/nnnn, hurry up and lay here with me so we can watch our favorite show while we cuddle and I feed you~”

You couldn’t help but smile as you obliged, easing into the spot next to him. You both lay on your stomachs, supported by a single, long pillow stuffed underneath your chests. Oikawa hooked an arm around your waist, closing the gap between you two. His free hand reached for a bag of your favorite snacks. He opened it, picked up a piece, then held it up to your face.

Just as you were about to take a bite, your face contorted into an expression of shock and betrayal when you saw him quickly seize the piece into his own mouth. Looking at your gaping face, he raised a mischievous eyebrow. “Oh, you thought that was for you?”

And that was how he ended up face down and star fished on the floor, with you sitting cross-legged on his back and triumphantly munching on your snacks, surrounded by a chaotic mass of fluffy pillows and blankets.

“I win,” you giggle through your bites.

“No fair! That pillow to my face came outta nowhere!”

15 minutes passed by when you finally finished, closed your laptop, and hugged his arms. “Alright, I’m all yours now, what’s up?” you tilted your head back and glanced upwards to meet his gaze, the corners of your lips turning upwards in a small smile.

“Wellllll, I was thinking of sharing a nice dinner together, maybe a fragrant bath...” he trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Pffft,” you spit out, shoving his face away playfully and getting up to your feet. “Only if your highness will make me dinner. I’m hungry after a long day’s work of breadwinning. What have you even been doing all day?”

“Uhhh...” Oikawa pursed his lip and looked at the ceiling in faux thought. Then his eyes landed back on you sheepishly, “Nothing.”

Laughing, you gave his cheek a soft pat and took his hand, leading him to the kitchen. “Of course, I expected nothing less of you, Lazykawa,” you jibed, well aware you were using one of Iwa’s classic nicknames on him.

“Fine, fine, I’ll get something ready for us. You just sit your pretty self at the table and watch.”

"I want a close up view, though,” you remarked, snaking your arms under his own from behind as he was investigating the fridge’s contents.

“Works for me,” he winked.

You clung onto him and followed his steps around the kitchen, taking in his refreshing scent and observing judging his meal preparation.

“Mm, yes, instant ramen, quite the challenge, Oikawa. What’s your strategy?”

“Divide and conquer. Watch and learn, y/n.”

He exaggerated his movements throughout the cooking process, which made clinging onto him a bit of a struggle, to say the least. He finally poured the cooked noodles and soup into a large bowl, adding in some boiled eggs, seaweed, and green onion for embellishment. “Voila!” he bragged, carrying the dish slowly to your small dining table as you continued to follow him. Oikawa set the bowl down, “Dig in, honey.”

Unlatching yourself from his back, you took a seat next to him and lay a head lazily on his shoulder. His heart fluttered at the sight of your cheek nestling comfortably into him, and he mentally kicked himself for letting your proximity make him experience those first date jitters all over again, even though it’s been four years since that time. He took in the details of your face, feeling his heartrate quicken when your eyes slowly flickered upwards at him from underneath your eyelashes. Your sweet lips parted slightly, looking like honey could drip from them at any moment. They were captivating, but tread the wrong way and he could be left stung. He wanted them to say his name, longingly--      

“Well, are we going to eat or just sit here and let the food get cold?”

“O-Oh, right,” he stuttered out, taking a pair of chopsticks and dipping them into the bowl. How had his mind strayed so easily? He might act like he could keep his cool all the time, but with you, that was a different story. Four years whipped by quickly, but the thought of you never failed to bring him a sense of comfort, anticipation, embarrassment, and intrigue all at once.

He picked up a few strands of noodles and blew on them gently. The steam from the bowl rose to warm both your cheeks, marking them with a dewy, rosy tinge. Oikawa brought the noodles up to your open mouth, which you received with such delight that he had to refrain from gushing over how cute it looked. He continued to feed both of you, listening as you talked about work, how your friends were in quarantine, and what you wanted to do when things got back to normal. Although he was attentive, making sure to acknowledge your words with some sort of response such as a nod or a reply, he could feel a knot in his stomach begin to tighten ever so slightly. When his mind wandered, he couldn’t help but think about what the future held for you both.

You were one of the most supportive people in his life. You decided to move here in order to stay close to him and support his career and passion for volleyball. You found yourself a job in order to help make a living and adjust to your new lifestyle. You put effort everyday into your relationship, making sure you looked after one another and communicated your needs. Your empathy and understanding were unmatched, and he couldn’t imagine what his life would have been like for the last two years if you never came along with him. Reaching back farther, he was almost positive the last four years of his life and all the good that’s come his way since then was thanks to you.  

“To be honest, that ramen hit the spot more than I expected it to,” you sighed with satisfaction. Then, you looked over at him and noticed the slight furrow of his brows. “Tooru...? Helloo?”

You waved a hand in his face and jolted him from his thoughts. He took your hands and looked into your eyes with a spark of determination. “Y/n.”

“Uhhh... Yes?” you asked, a bit confused.

Closing his eyes briefly and taking a deep breath, he proceeded. “The years we’ve been together have been among the best in my life. You’ve never failed to make me feel safe and happy, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you by my side. I need you to stay with me, to look after me while I also take care of you. I know we’ve only fantasized and shared jokes about the future, like when we tell our children stories, you’ll make fun of me and share with them some of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. When we get a pet dog (or cat, or any other pet you prefer), I’ll have to compete with it for your attention, and I’ll probably lose. When I’m old and my knee finally gives out on me, you’ll lug me around on your back. But I don’t want those things to remain little jokes; I want to experience all those moments with you, no matter how big or small. That said...”

Once Tooru realized what he was about to suggest, his cheeks flushed and he accidentally bit his tongue. “Ow, fuck!”

Startled and still caught off guard from his sweet words, your eyes widened as you choked out, “H-Huh?? What’s wrong, what happened?? Tooru?” You tried to convince yourself the heat you felt was due to the hot ramen and your concern for Oikawa.

I was just about to ask for your hand in marriage.

He held his hands in front of his face, waving them around in frantic dismissal. “N-Nothing, I just bit my tongue..!” Gotta think, gotta think of a cover...! What else could I even say that would make sense after having said all that..?!

He took in another deep breath and held up both your hands again, bringing them close to his mouth and giving them a kiss.  “When this is all over... W-Why don’t we take a trip somewhere? We’ll go anywhere you like! Just us two, going on adventures, having drinks, doing fun things.”

You sighed out in relief, releasing your pent-up anxiety. “T-That’s all?! I-I mean, ah yes, of course! That sounds amazing, I’ve always wanted to go to *insert place here lol* and this would be the perfect chance!”

You cupped his face gently and brought him in for a warm, soft kiss. His lips meshed with yours as his hand reached for your jaw. His thumb caressed over your right cheekbone, pulling you closer and giving you a sense of security.

Though, at the back of your mind, you had suspected, Was he about to propose? But then you thought, Nah, if he was considering it, I don’t think he’d do that right now, stuck at home during quarantine. Now, what if I proposed before he did.... Hm...

And his mind was filled with, Oh thank god I caught myself, I don’t know what I would’ve done, I don’t even have anything ready, I never thought about it as seriously as I did in that moment, what was I thinking, also ramen tastes kinda good on their mouth...

A few minutes passed when you broke apart. He spent a few seconds looking into your eyes, which glistened with passion and love. “You’re really sweet, Tooru, you know that?” you said with a smile. He smiled, giving you a kiss on your forehead before standing up abruptly, much to your dismay. But then he offered to wash the dishes, much to your content and appreciation.

He finished not too soon after, then walked into the living room to find you splayed out on the couch and browsing your phone.

“I made dinner like I promised, so into the bath we go!” he yelled, hooking his arms underneath your back and legs to lift your body. You yelped in surprise, dropping your phone on the sofa. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him, laughing as he rushed towards the bathroom.

“Fine, I’ll keep up my end of the deal,” you said, reaching for the bathroom door’s handle and turning it open. Once inside, he kicked it shut with his foot and set you down on the sink counter. He moved towards the tub to turn on the warm water, then came back to the counter and held up two bath bombs. “So, you want rose or lavender?”

But instead, you hooked onto him once more and pulled him into a needy kiss.

Someday soon, when this is over, you’ll be mine forever, y/n.

Despite having lived with Oikawa’s dorky self for the past two years, having to be stuck at home with him all the time had definitely its perks. There wasn’t anyone else you would’ve rather spent your time with, that’s for sure.

a/n: fihuofiejmcg i tried LOL, i hope you liked, honestly was just typing ad goign along till i got ideas! I wouldnt let myself sleep until i finished this sdfghjk anyways. we luv oikawa. also i hope that last thought of his dont sound creepy LMAO

ps i shoulda been filling out my job application but lmaoooo

[megamikethomson]

SOHBA DIGITAL

Digital Marketing Services 24×7 have advanced Digital Marketing Programs which helps you to increase your business revenue.

Our Services:

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Social Media Optimization (SMO) Content Marketing Digital Advertising (PPC) Email Marketing Website Analytics Online Reputation

Search Engine Optimization (SEO)

sohba digital marketing company search engine optimization expert with almost a decade of industry experience. Along with our team, sohba's goal is to help our customers dominate the search engines, and surpass their competition.

Few other consultants have the level and depth of experience that I have acquired. I’ve worked across all industries. From local search optimisation agencies, to extremely competitive service niches and national e-commerce. Clients widely consider our approach very different from many less-diligent SEO’s, many of which fail to incorporate simple necessities such as CRO (Conversion Rate Optimization). In short, that is the ways in which your website can be modified to improved to target an increased amount of sales for a given amount of traffic.

sohba digital not one to try and promote my services by highlights certifications and awards from unknown internet academies. I prefer to carefully walk you through example of my own online successes and search engine rankings of businesses that have used my services. To learn more, please get in touch. If you to quickly know why your website still isn’t ranking on the first page of Google, enter your URL for an free website analysis. The report will explain how you can improve your website in order to gain improved rankings in Google.

Social Media Optimization (SMO)

One of the biggest struggles brands and marketers have with content marketing comes from a lack of direction with their content strategy. All too often, we see brands fall into the trappings of making posts that do not connect with the audience, or otherwise fail to stand out in the feeds of their fans. The best remedy for this issue is to develop a standardized editorial calendar to bring consistency to your content strategy, and a base for recording activity and performance.

Here are some basic steps for getting started with creating an editorial calendar for content marketing.

Part 1 – Content Marketing

The first step with your editorial calendar is to decide on content that you will be sharing. This content should be a mix between materials produced in-house (e.g., blog posts, infographics, videos), and relevant materials created by other bloggers or content producers. To find sources of inspiration and material, research the thought leaders and social communities in your niche, and become active in them. Once you find sources that drive the trends in your industry, you’ll be able to deliver that message to your audience.

After you’ve found your content source, you need to switch gears and put yourself in the mindset of your audience. Ideally, you should have a basic knowledge of their pain points, consumption habits, and what makes them take action. With this knowledge, you can set the tone for your calendar by determining  how much content is needed to drive growth and interaction of your brand, what topics make the biggest impact with the audience, and how frequently will you will need to deliver content to the audience.

Part 2 – Build Your Calendar

Now that your content strategy is solid, you can focus on the mechanics of publishing. An editorial calendar can be as basic or detailed as needed for your business, but like everything else, more information will lead to better results. The best tool to use for your editorial calendar is an Excel Spreadsheet (or Google Docs Spreadsheet); if you are working with a team, you may want to consider collaborative tools like HiTask to manage assignments by person.

No matter what tool you use as your primary calendar host, you should include fields or sections that outline these specific details about the promoted content:

Title or Headline General content description Keywords or Tags Call to Action Assigned to Status of Post Where to Publish (blog, Facebook, Pinterest, etc)

Part 3 – Fill in the Gaps

At this point, you have a source of content, and a framework for distributing it across your website and social networks. With this in place, you have everything you need to begin a long term content marketing strategy.

Set aside one hour at minimum to plan the content you want to highlight in the upcoming days, weeks, or even months. By including all of the information and links in your calendar, you’ve made a single resource that you can refer to when deciding what to post. If you are delegating your social management to an employee or agency, they also should have access to the calendar to make sure that the strategy stays on track.

When planning for a long term content marketing strategy, be sure to take major events into consideration. Holidays, special business events, local events, conferences, major product releases, and other low-hanging fruit that will have a strong social buzz are perfect places to begin planning for in advance with direct content for your audience.

Creating an editorial calendar is the first step to elevating your brand’s caliber on social media; you’ll quickly discover that social media is not just “a place to be,” but a system to gain and interact with your perfect client or customer.

Digital Advertising (PPC)

Over the last few years it’s been hard to ignore the massive shift in the way brands can communicate with consumers and this has thrown up a lot of confusion as to where to start and how to implement. Everyday Sales and Marketing Managers are being approached by traditional and digital agencies touting their skills in new media but are becoming increasingly dubious as to who they should entrust with their strategy.

sohba digital marketing agency now have a multiplicity of platforms through which to promote their products and interact with their prospects and their existing customers, including mobile, email, websites, downloadable content, social media, retail technology etc. As such, the choice now available to customers teamed with their past experiences of brands means that in order to become a key differentiator in the market, Social Technologies have actually thrown up a further challenge to agencies and brands, with many brands unhappy with the advice they are getting on how to create effective ROI from their social media campaigns. At top didital marketing agency, we are shifting the focus from the social networks to the data that they provide. When one has access to this rich, new set of data, the ability to target the individual needs of a particular consumer grows considerably, therefore opening up a whole new level of return.

For those brands that are at the early stages of developing their contact strategy, the good news is that there are lots of ways that multi-channel can be delivered. Implementing this kind of approach does not necessarily mean that a brand must encounter a substantial cost outlay on channel development and/or Social CRM (sCRM) systems. By using profiling middleware, a brand can identify the best course of action for each customer, avoiding unnecessary communications costs. If delivered appropriately, the use of digital content and fulfilment in multi-channel activity can in fact save money.

However I would recommend taking a step back to look at the overall commercial approach. At soe company in pakistan we are changing the relationship between client and agency. Combining the best thought leadership of the consulting world with the leading capabilities of the marketing services industry, we provide our clients with a process to move from the olde r integrated model to the more relevant multi-channel experience model, delivering relevant customer experiences through technology. Built on the premise of the 3 R’s: Reputation, Relevancy and Recommendation, we differentiate the customer experience through our reservoir of analytical insight about each customer, leveraging it to foster engaging customer dialogues and learning from these interactions to make improvements in the future.

Email Marketing

The largest email database in pakistan - approx 1,300,000 double opt-in subscribers.

Whether your marketing objective is instant sales, brand awareness, new customers or member acquisition, our targeted email lists enable you to effectively & affordably promote your products & services to pakistani consumers nationally for a fraction of the cost typically associated with traditional "normal media" and regular direct marketing channels.

With the largest database of opt-in pakistani consumers, we can target and segment your campaign to provide you with an end list which gets results to produce the best possible results for your email marketing campaigns.

This is a highly customized and targeted list that has specific categories which may be highly beneficial to your financial growth.

Website Analytics

Website analytics is widely used by business to business and business to consumer online merchants to examine various markets and track their customers accurately. Web analytics is also becoming increasingly popular with webmasters of other websites as well. Since tracking visitors accurately is very important for most websites, most webmasters use web analytics to get customer conversion rates and other important data. Usually, web analytics software tracks visitor behavior by inserting a small piece of tracking code on each page of the site. The tracking code transmits information to the analytics software vendor’s data collection facility using a tiny gif image or a small JavaScript code. To identify returning visitors tracking ID stored in a cookie is used.  

Over the past decade, e-commerce retailers have become proficient with web analytics and have improved their website design to help customers navigate and complete the purchase process easily. Having completed this process, many retailers have become overloaded with additional data that adds no further discernable value. It is difficult for most companies to process the data to extract important information and understand what to measure next. Going forward, e-commerce companies are discovering that they need to be highly innovative and respond to the latent needs of customers. Web analytics software applications provide a wealth of information which can help them do that.

Interestingly a recent report by Jupiter Research sent shockwaves through the industry when it stated that increasingly high rates of cookie rejection and deletion by internet users makes third-party cookies, which is the default method for hosted analytics solutions to measure visitor activity, an unreliable method for collecting and reporting on web marketing results.

Focusing on finding new ways to improve the customer experience will simplify e-business and increase the customer conversion rate. Only by using web analytics and usability testing together can companies get a complete picture of user behavior and experience on an e-commerce site. This is a very powerful method to understand customers and make improvements to the site based on customer needs.

Online Reputation

Business Reputation Management Your Business Reputation Online

YOUR SMALL BUSINESS REPUTATION

Reputation management is big, and it’s going to get even bigger in the near future

Reviews for businesses are now posted online, and they are visible for anyone to see. They come up when searching for a niche/location and when potential clients/consumers search for your business name.

Bad reviews will keep those same people from setting foot inside your business.

So where do these bad reviews online come from?

Research has found that the majority of consumers will never leave a review.

The two types of people who leave a review:     1. Those that are super impressed by a company’s service or product.     2. A few in the populous that feel they were put out or slighted by a business (maybe legitimately). Many times this type has a chip on their shoulder and are looking for a way to exercise it. The majority of people are happy with a business’s services, but just don’t take the time to let the world know about it. If these people were put into the mix, then the people who weren’t happy would be outnumbered by 20 to 1.

[ripellisdee]

Wrong way

if life was a street that sign at the peek said wrong way

ain’t no ground beneath atleast not one I can see

the edge kinda steep if I trip and fall 100 feet might pass a bird a tweet

right before I crack my head on the pavement

wake up like it’s all just a dream

still hanging in there with help from the rope under my chin

and if I kick the chair don’t think there’s any last words I can spare

just a gasp from lack of air

not trying to be cinematic or dramatic

usually keep it short and sweet

I don’t think in death that’d change anything

be how that saying goes well I guess that’s all she wrote

except there was no long note

just a sticky note in place on my chest where my heart used to be

no words that were shown just a drawing of a heart that’s incomplete

still a wasted sheet you could’ve used to roll some weed

too blow smoke over me

while I’m hanging out in basement

I’m not complacent but what happens after don’t faze me

afterlife prolly full of other engagements

only playin all I’m trying to say is some shit make me loose patients

and faith

cause this place can feel so Jaded

like do people really need more free entertainment

but don’t judge the story

I know It gets old and slightly boring

it’s just me trying and struggling to succeed

disagree if you disagree

Debris is all that’s underneath 

but when concrete cover me

I can never sleep

unsettling I hope this isn’t fate

this shit needs to get of my chest to even out the weight but

I’m just a human

I’m assuming

I’m sorry if I’m confusing

hoping it's amusing

watching me abusing

all the drugs I’m consuming

losing bucks on gas while I’m cruising

wondering why my brains not computing

commuting to some kind solution

but I can’t move Choking on pollution

that these streets are producing

introducing a man who shouldn’t be reproducing

but I do what I can for a seed I’m recruiting

boosting then Saluting off into a world so far away from soothing 

again maybe history repeats itself

even through generations

there’s no demonstrations on how to find yourself

just some shared observations

from there Experience

a sequence that stays the same

all I can say is you can’t get aid from a relationship thats transactional

or Irrational

 cause some will never change

but I hope for a seed thats not the case

I hope it grows into a better place

then the one that I have faced

and that’s just fact

but some people can be so impractical

don’t have Common cents too many thoughts in the brain

can leave there chatter sounding like someone shaking change

let it all come outta pocket and leave you to pick up what remains

this life ain’t a game that give you updates

and if it did it would say

no new alterations to scenery and conversations

also images might be blurry and outta place

ideally that would be okay

we’ll always be a population in a nation

with bad shit that happens everyday

like a constant state of camera shake

but what you do if it stays the same

I can take my part of the blame I never claimed to be a saint

I’m someone who commonly makes mistakes

but if shit keeps going the same way

ima stray away and say

fuck an obligation to society

no privacy so I’ll build a small dynasty out of rubble

far away

anything better then this shit so I’d rather stay away

be off the grid in my own bubble that I create

maybe hidden in a jungle

wiping my ass with leaves 

starving my ass dragging my feet

would still be less trouble

then living in a world where we feed on each other’s needs

only if I could make that possible but with my luck id probably get mauled by a bear before I even reached a jungle

so I’ll just keep it on track

try to stay humble

find that connection with my reflection

gripped selection

of things Ill never mention

embrace my imperfections

host to my own infection

with a need to heal

that far exceeds my depression

cause it’s hard to fight

for a world that’s dying

so full of lies

why bother trying

I’ll just close my eyes

let the cover of night guide me

to a place where I

can hold my son laughing

and just feel

home

[combat-wombatus]

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

[ill-will-editions]

Against Pandemic Capitalism. An Interview with Milan’s Emergency Volunteer Brigades

Interview conducted March 21, 2020. 

1. How are you all? Are you managing to keep in touch virtually? Are you still managing to exist as a "group" or to keep to a "common position" despite the isolation?

We are fine. The situation here in Milan has been building into a crescendo. After February 23rd, there were weeks of uncertainty, during which there were contradictory orders from the government. During the first week the government closed some businesses, then they reopened them; later the awareness of the epidemic grew, and the more drastic measures were then applied. Now that everyone is pretty much isolated, although we are keeping in touch with each other frequently, it is more complicated to come up with  common positions and to exist as a group. At the same time, various communication channels and types of reflection and action have opened up,  yes. Some of us have focused more on the conditions in prisons, while others are engaged in translating or sharing thoughts. Some others converged in the local Solidarity Brigades, and others are looking for more contacts with comrades abroad to have a broader picture of the situation.

At the beginning everyone had their own perception of things; there were those who panicked and those who claimed that it was yet another way to instill fear in the population, since in any case politicians and medical experts seemed to espouse different opinions. From the governor of Lombardy, who published a selfie video locked in his house with a mask, to the mayor of Milan, who made a video entitled #milanononsiferma (#milanwillnotclose), in which he tries to show that the hyperproductive city would keep going; to virologists, who were insulting each other on various TV programs. Then the number of infected increased and the red zone was extended from Codogno (where the so-called “patient zero” was found) to the whole of Lombardy. People started to develop a different perception of risk: by that point, we all knew someone who had been infected. As I mentioned, nobody had really understood what was happening and we continued our everyday collective routines (collective football training, meetings, assemblies, and so on). From March 9th, the government took a unified national approach; the red zone was extended across the whole of Italy. Orders were given not to leave the house, unless you had a certificate provided by the authorities. The restrictions have been very strict: an evening curfew begins at 6pm is in place. Since then, all of Italy has been “online”.

Many initiatives were born, from tutorials about how to defend against COVID-19, to new radio and streaming sites, meetings (especially on Zoom) filled with people who often have never even met, some from all over the world. The absurdity of it is that we are experiencing a more conscious use of our devices. While before we perceived them as instruments of alienation and distraction, we now use them better as ways of sharing knowledge.

As for our group, we had been facing a period of great fragmentation. Ironically, the work of the brigades and the presence of a common but invisible enemy now involves everyone, since we are all touched by the same problem.

2. What is the situation in working-class neighbourhoods? How are the cops and the army behaving? In Milan, as we know, the police are generally very aggressive, but their attitude can change according to zone, acting civil enough and "teacherly" in more well-to-do neighbourhoods, and with the arrogant and violent "colonizing" approach in more working-class neighbourhoods. 

The situation in the working-class districts of Milan changes depending on the area. In the densely-populated areas, filled with small and overcrowded houses, and mainly inhabited by foreigners, life continues to take place in the streets. Walking around in neighbourhoods like Giambellino or via Padova, you might see smaller food shops still open, creating spaces to meet for people who seem unconcerned with the directions issued by the authorities to stay at home. The police patrol the streets, but not in an overly dominating fashion, mostly trying to limit these numerous gatherings. The army was already present in some areas with an anti-terrorist function. Since the 23rd of March we've seen their number increasing and they have begun to patrol as public officials with the possibility of stopping and asking for documents or ID. It seems that for now, they don’t seem particularly comfortable in this role, showing a certain reluctance in being aggressive. In neighbourhoods where the presence of the police is usually regarded with hostility, the discouragement of gatherings and “dangerous” kinds of behaviour becomes difficult to put into practice.

Other working-class neighbourhoods on the outskirts, where people normally only go home to sleep, seem deserted. After the closing of the shops inside the shopping centres (the only places in these areas where social life takes place), life has died out, and everyone hides in their own apartments. In the last few days, media-induced fears of the dangers of walking and doing sports in parks have spread, with people looking out from their balconies and railing against neighbours who go out to take a walk in the yard, or even call the police.

And it’s obvious that the slogan #iorestoacasa (#Istayathome) is not considered relevant to everyone. Those who can afford to pay rent and have a job are locked in their homes, doing online shopping, while the rest of the population, either precarious or unemployed, working in logistics or infrastructure, experience a quite different situation. A very wide gap between the classes has opened. Confindustria (General Confederation of Italian Industry) forced workers to keep on working in factories without any health and safety precautions.

So in working-class neighbourhoods, many people are continuing to work. The increase of police and military in the streets is considerable but there isn’t a huge gap between neighborhoods: they are simply everywhere. We are seeing another phenomenon too, which is the becoming-policemen of normal citizens, which is perhaps stronger in bourgeois residential areas: there have been many episodes of people denouncing others to the police, or just people shouting “Go home!” to people walking in the street. Those who have been most affected by these severe measures have been homeless people and migrants.

3. How do the volunteer Brigades work? How do you handle the relationship between institutions (the state, local council, NGOs…)? How do you train those who participate? Where did the idea originate? How many people are involved? Are you trying to extend the idea to the whole of Italy?

The Brigades were born out of an idea that circulated as word of mouth on social media and it quickly became viral. The idea which came out of it is that we can obviously talk about who are responsible for all this, and they will have to pay the consequences, but in our current situation in which there is a diffuse sense of fear among people, we have to look out for the community, especially those of us who have experience with many different forms of organization, since we have learned in these years to manage with “extreme” situations, to act with courage, for the sake of everyone. We were inspired by several examples of mutual aid and organizations which worked throughout Italy after the earthquakes in the center of Italy (in the 2000s).

We understood pretty quickly that this situation was much larger than us, and that it wouldn’t be sufficient to do things autonomously or even on the national level, so that we would be vulnerable from multiple sides, especially vis-a-vis repression. If you’re found out of your house without any particular reason they can sanction you.

We looked for an organization that could give us the possibility of having an official status, and found Emergency, the humanitarian organization which provides aid in war situations and which has its offices in Milan. Through this we were able to construct an infrastructure which legitimates us and which mediates between us and the Milan local council. In the same way that we created the “Brigades” through our personal involvement, which began from social media and word-of-mouth, we also found individuals for each area to coordinate the groups. This structure has organized training sessions, first of all for the group leaders, who in turn started training the people in their own groups. The structure also allowed us to have passes in order to be able to move around the city freely. Currently we have more than 200 volunteers and many people on the waiting list to be trained and many others who continue to write saying that they would like to join. We are managing to cover all the 9 districts of Milan and the calls are increasing daily. In some areas we are connected to social centers or self-organized spaces which make up the base of the Brigades.

Our structures are being tested daily but it is still small and spread out, and we are being contacted by people from other parts of Italy who are beginning to organize themselves in the same way. Our goal is to create an infrastructure across the whole of Italy.

4. Can you update us on the situation in the prisons? Are there ways to stay in contact with people inside? (Here they gave a “bonus” of €40 for every inmate, which allow them to make more phone calls, and they gave free TV access to everyone, hoping in this way to placate unrest)

After the riots, and the deaths in prison, and the first case of Covid-19 in the Voghera prison, the “Cura Italia” (“Heal Italy”) decree established new orders on how to confront the pandemic in penitentiary institutions: house arrest and electronic tags for those serving less than 18 months; those under 6 months and minors are to be directly sent home, without tags.

Beyond this, it was established that those accused of having participated in the revolts of March 9th/10th will not be allowed to benefit from these alternative measures. Following the protests many sections were destroyed, and for this reason there has been a decrease of 2000 prison places, due to works that have to be carried out immediately.

News reached us (from allies and family members) of many reprisals in the Opera prison: the inmates report going hungry and fearing for themselves, they describe being denied TV, food, showers, phone calls; having only half an hour of air, and being beaten, hands and bones broken; “riot police entered the cells and beat us up in the dark”; the guards took away cooking materials and gave the inmates only water and cigarettes.

After the events of March many inmates were separated in order to put down the unrest; this was the case in Ferrara and Alessandria; 60 inmates in Melfi, 500 in Modena, 107 in Foggia, and 60 in Naples, were transported on a military boat belonging to the Italian navy to the correctional facility on the island of Procida; 650 from Poggioreale were separated and put into different jails in Brindisi, Messina, Bari, Lagonegro, Melfi, Potenza and Reggio Calabria.

Day after day the numbers of guards and inmates infected and testing positive increases.

At this link you can find the account of Nicoletta Dosio on the situation in the prison of Vallette in Turin here [in Italian].

5. Do you have any advice on how to manage – emotionally, psychologically – the fact of having to stay inside all the time? Here it is only the third day and many are still experiencing it almost as though it were a game. What are your reflections after ten days?

The first thing we believe is important is not to allow oneself to be infantilized, but to assume responsibility. Despite the state wanting the former, it is important to understand that this situation concerns us all, our loved ones, and the more vulnerable members of our society both on the social and physical level. Staying inside all the time with this awareness can really notably help our sense of self-discipline. Moreover, moments like these, which people who have experienced house arrests know well, are moments to keep oneself occupied to the utmost. It is almost redundant to say: study, train, reflect. In the end I maintain that it is important to treat it as a kind of “suspended time” when we can finally concentrate on our collective strategies (or the lack of these), also in the light of recent events, without the stress or the lack of time caused by the frenetic pace of our normal daily routines (work, militancy, etc.)

At first it seems like a game, especially for the many of us who have for a long time been trying to flee hyper-productivity. We have found ourselves obviously amused by the hysteria of people, who in the first hours became enraged at supermarkets and shops who sold face masks. Added to this is the sensation of living in an episode of Black Mirror – the streets are empty and the few people on the streets are walking around with masks on.

At first we passed the time reading, discovering things on the internet or having dinners restricted to a small number of friends, where obviously the main theme of discussion was the virus. Slowly as the days passed we began to understand the seriousness of what was happening: people are now all stuck at home and our contact with the outside world has been reduced to three or four people, which is, the people we were always in contact with. Further contact was avoided for good reason, and those with family over a certain age stopped all contact with others. For now, on the emotional and psychological level we keep struggling, perhaps because the Brigades give a practical sense to these days, and also because we are seeing the exasperating effects of the virus on capitalism: people fighting outside supermarkets in queues, or because social distancing is not being kept up, or other kinds of unrestrained egotism.

At this point the question has a global importance and we have the possibility to turn this into a potential and to grow the network we have been building for years, though, on the other hand, power also has this potential. It is not incidental that in these days we have been able to have virtual assemblies with comrades from many different places, where we have been able to discuss the experience of the Brigades.

The idea is that when our methods will have been tested a little we will also be able to go further than just helping out those who need it most. Maybe one day on the streets there will only be the brigades and the police and this could be an interesting scenario. We have to consider however that the state and global capitalism are using this moment as a kind of experiment on a massive scale and we cannot underestimate this; we have to remain attentive and to study the movements of power to try to understand what will happen afterwards. Perhaps certain things could enter into the daily lives of people, for example this question of sociality and work. The experiment that is happening is moving on different levels; from the repression of those who leave the house to “tele-working”, the many working from home. Schools are continuing to conduct courses online, thus in part people at home are being employed to “produce” in a new way.

Further, the virus, being immaterial and invisible, seems insurmountable and so it legitimates the state even more to project a voice that everyone necessarily listens to, keeping us all suspended since no one has any idea when this will end. There is an extreme pressure exerted upon individual responsibility so as to move away from all kind of social tension which might allow a realization of who the real people responsible for this are.

It’s a strange feeling leaving the house alone to go to the supermarket. Even if people don’t talk to one another, many people exchange complicit looks, since we all now have this in common, even if we’ve never known these people as friends, in the sense that they’ve never been this side of the barricade. This should make us reflect. We have to remain immersed in this situation and be strong in order to turn the situation in the right direction when the time comes.

6. Given that protests, demonstrations, and street presence are now impossible, what are ways of maintaining pressure on the authorities, in order to give voice to objections to the discourse that says “let’s save the economy at all costs”?

In this respect the most combative elements have been the militant unions such as SI COBAS (a small communist union operating on the national level), which are also the most directly involved given that, as we said, the majority of factories remain open undisturbed, in flagrant disregard of all the warnings to stay at home. So the voice of opposition has for now been principally represented by strikes, in which however, most of us don’t have the occasion to physically participate. The situation in prisons is different; groups of comrades are trying to get organised even if also here the difficulties are not at all few. After the first wave of protests in prisons, protests are continuing but they have been repressed with impunity, and the main task now is getting news out from inside, and to circulate it as much as possible.

We have to take account of people’s emotional reactions to what is happening, and acknowledge those people who have lost a relative or loved one to the virus. It’s difficult to imagine a movement exploding as yet, in this context. On top of this there is the fact that in Italy over the last years movements have suffered many setbacks and steps backward in terms of confronting power, and there is no united front, nor strong position from which to begin. Everything is very fragmented and so what we manage to bring forwards in struggle is a reflection of this pacification.

One practical example was the 8th of March – the global trans-feminist strike. Already being in the period of the quarantine we had to think what actions people could do. Hundreds of initiatives came about around the city; a new radio program, and many actions, from banners and posters, to writing, to whatever other form of protest which allowed people to feel involved. But nothing that meant direct conflict.

It’s moreover clear that contradictions have emerged; from one side the politicians who have  made many gross errors, the public health system which is falling apart (as a result of the cuts over the last years), the fact of the middle class being at home, while delivery workers are in the streets delivering food, Confindustria deciding not to close down production and the larger unions which are playing around, the logistics workers who continue to work without any safety measures, the workers with unprotected faces who are risking their lives; on the other side, the campaign emphasizing individual responsibility of #iorestoacasa (#Istayathome) which is, of course, a way of concealing the truth of the situation.

Anger is coming to the surface, the autonomous unions have begun their strikes and are distributing provisions and masks to those in need, trying to impose a stop on production; the precarious workers have opened disputes in the hope of obtaining an income during the quarantine; and people are making appeals trying to stop online shopping because it puts those people who are making the deliveries at risk. The workers at the Amazon offices in Milan went on strike. As yet it hasn’t been possible to construct a strong position on how to give a positive sense to economic failure. 25 million unemployed people are expected once this is all over, and fear is high. For now it is very difficult but we think that with the work of the brigades it will be possible to construct a strong common position.

7. Have you noticed any new forms of solidarity among generations and in neighborhoods? What’s happening out of town? Do you have any updates from comrades in the countryside?

Our comrades living in the countryside describe a much quieter picture, free from the anxiety about contagion that one feels in the city. It’s easier for people to move around because controls are limited. You can buy food and any kind of “essentials” without difficulty, and farms that are still operating still receive the supplies they need. They’re dealing with labour shortages though.

8. Have there been moments of panic, people fleeing from big cities? Leaving Northern Italy to go south? (We had a huge flow of "bourgeois" migration here. Many people have left to be isolation in more comfortable conditions in their countryside or seaside holiday home – thus threatening remote areas, typically inhabited by the elderly, with the risk of contagion)

Yes, panic broke out on the evening of March 8th. A lot of people took trains from Milan and left Lombardy. All because of leaked news about the government's decision to isolate the region. Obviously, having hundreds of people crammed into a train certainly didn’t help prevent the virus from leaving Lombardy. Sure enough it had the opposite effect, leading to an increasingly higher number of infected people in Southern Italy in the following days. This kind of panic-induced internal migration continued for some days, with such intensity that some Southern regions decided to close their borders. At the beginning many people perceived the quarantine as a holiday, rushing towards ski slopes, beach resorts and second homes.

Yes, as I said, it has been a crescendo. In Northern Italy, for example, the start of quarantine took place when lots of people were on holidays, so many were stuck in the mountains or in their country houses. We witnessed great panic when the government decided to quarantine the whole of Lombardy  – creating the so-called “red zone”. When the news came out, there was an exodus. Southern people who work or study in the North traveled back home en masse. This was a totally irresponsible thing to do, insofar as they risked bringing the virus to other areas, especially since young people can be healthy carriers with often no symptoms at all. The sheer selfishness of this gesture brought out all the counter-revolutionary power of the Italian family.

9. How does the contrast between the North and South feel now? Can we say that the tables have turned regarding the famous "Southern question"? Any thoughts?

This is not about the classic, even ironized, North-South opposition. The issue must be considered in relation to the different healthcare systems. Of course, we are not happy that the crisis broke out in the region where we live.  Still, Lombardy is the richest region, with the best healthcare system in Italy and probably Europe (despite a succession of administrations cutting its budget). So we can be kind of relieved that it happened here. The Southern healthcare system has many more issues. Some problems are related to the staff, but the biggest issue is the inadequacy of infrastructure. A crisis like the one we’re having in the North would probably have brought the South to its knees.

In the last few days, the number of new patients in other regions – mostly Puglia and Campania, respectively South and Central Italy – has been increasing. We don’t really know how they’re facing the crisis (I mean, whether there is a network of mutual aid organizations and how they work), we’d need to ask people and healthcare personnel in those areas to get a better picture of it.

Some friends and relatives told us they’re very afraid, as though the epidemic had broken out there, as though Bergamo were a Southern city, so they respect the "safety" measures carefully. I don't think we can say the tables have turned on the "Southern question”. Many thought they could get away with leaving the North and going back home as soon as the lockdown was imposed – they proved to be very selfish and harmful to those who had a chance not to be as affected by the epidemic. Because of this grave error we risk having ten Codognos instead of one. People who left the red zones are likely to infect relatives in isolated areas.

There is still a great economic and social divide between the North and the South, we know that pretty well. In Sicily, in Calabria or in Basilicata, people are very aware that hospitals do not have adequate means and tools to face this kind of emergency. As long as people have to stay at home it will be impossible to discuss these issues – we’ll probably have to wait until everything is over.

The North is the new South! Or not. Originally, the North of Italy (great center of production on an international scale) was floored by the epidemic and showed its weaknesses. It became the laughingstock of countries all around the world – nobody accepted tourists or travelers from Northern Italy. A great blow that hurt the pride of the colonizers, who had always been free to roam around the world. For once they found themselves on the ‘not welcome’ list. Obviously the North-South relationship in Italy has changed and become an object of humor. But what is actually very worrying is that the healthcare system in Lombardy, which is despite all one the most efficient in the country, is collapsing. So if the virus were to reach the South, the situation would be truly dramatic.

10. What is the general feeling about what the government is doing? Is it considered partly responsible for the situation, or are its efforts to face the crisis appreciated?

For what our perceptions are worth, the government is generally receiving good support from the people. Prime Minister Conte is considered a wise politician, and the fact that Italy acted immediately and firmly made people forget many doubts they had at the beginning. In fact, until the first weeks of March, most Northern politicians were pressured by business leaders into keeping the borders open and letting Milan run at full capacity. Moreover, the government has taken strong measures concerning healthcare and movement of goods and people, but gave in to the pressure of Confindustria. So big cities are under great restrictions, whereas in the rest of the region industries and businesses, even the non-essential ones, continue their activities adopting only laughable safety measures. No decision has been made on the issue of overcrowded prisons, despite many judges and courts asking for new policies. But people have become more aware of the situation – the current climate of emergency makes everyone more sensitive, even past the issue of hospital capacity. The stern but inspiring campaigns in favor of prisoners have moved many people as well. We should consider in this respect the old nationalist cliché about Italians selflessly coming together during hard times to fight for the community, which has resurfaced in this situation. “Sovereignist” leaders like Salvini and Meloni, surprisingly, are at the moment managing to act under the radar. Their beloved game of finding someone else to blame for every single problem and identifying an enemy cannot be played so easily in times when there are these appeals to unity, so they’re clutching at straws. The feeling is that they’re preparing for the aftermath, when the emergency will be over and we’ll have to rebuild everything from the ground up.

As I said, the situation is controversial. At first the government made some incredible mistakes, and revealed that it wasn’t able to respond to this emergency adequately. We’ve seen this in every crisis that affected the country in the last decades, from the earthquakes in central Italy to the collapse of the Morandi bridge in Genoa. There are many issues we have to deal with, most importantly budget cuts to the healthcare system and the lack of protections for logistics workers. We are talking about people dying here not because they are crushed by a crane, but because they are attacked by a virus, which actually affects everyone without distinction. People are therefore intensely focused on the issue but are “waiting for instructions from above".

Many political collectives have highlighted the link between the capitalist system and the virus, and how it is transmitted. But for the time being, unfortunately, this is all talk, with a kind of academic character, especially given that we can’t even leave our homes.

11. How are people reacting to the plans for generalized digital surveillance (as already implemented in Israel or Iran)? Is it perceived as a "necessary evil"? Are there any ideas to counter these policies? Is the issue being addressed or is the health crisis preventing it?

So far it is not being addressed that much, certainly not at the level of general public opinion. As far as activist groups are concerned, it’s a bit complicated because the debate is now quite mixed up. From the beginning, philosopher Giorgio Agamben focused on the measures relating to the “state of exception”, and their possible consequences. Maybe he did so with a certain smugness and without caring too much about being understood correctly, so he was accused of minimizing the health crisis. The result is that now most of the comrades have slipped into a somewhat sterile debate between supporters and critics of the imposition of the state of exception. The critics accuse the supporters of being too abstract in front of real emergencies such as safety conditions in factories or prisons. As a result, it’s not easy to focus on the whole picture and avoid ideological squabbles.

We can talk about what has been happening in the last weeks. On March 19th, AgCom (national regulatory authorities for Italian communication industries) issued a press release asking social networks like Youtube, Facebook and Twitter to remove videos reporting false information or information from unreliable sources. It is the first time in Italy since 1948 that some fundamental freedoms, such as the freedom of movement, of assembly, and of expression, have been suspended. We will witness the effects of this measure in the upcoming days. The risk is that, the state taking advantage of an "emergency" situation, we could emerge from the catastrophe in much worse cultural conditions than when we entered it.

Personally, I’m very worried about this question. Many people are working from home and online 24/7, and are wondering about the future of our society. We fear that our movements will be GPS-tracked to check who is respecting the quarantine and who is not. On the other hand, many people see this situation as a positive change for the environment – since traffic has slowed, we experienced a significant decrease in air pollution, which is a major issue in Milan. So many now believe that this could also solve other problems. For the time being we need our devices to remain connected, but this situation will certainly have a significant impact on our lives.

12. What’s the general opinion on how other countries are approaching the situation? Were people angry at the thoughtlessness of countries still untouched by the pandemic?

Surely one of the most widespread feelings is disbelief and amazement. Italy had watched from afar the Chinese government dealing with the pandemic, a country that seems far away but is of course not so distant in our globalized world. However, we can’t understand how it is possible that European countries did not act as soon as they sensed what was happening in Italy. The example was there, before everyone's eyes, even sometimes just a few kilometers away. This highlights once again the inadequacy of our leaders as well as our lack of preparation, awareness and independent sources of information.

Anti-European and Eurosceptic feelings are as always resurfacing. Some see the EU as a mindless bloodsucker that refuses to support Italy during this emergency. The best thing is probably the general discredit that people like Trump or Boris Johnson are suffering. In the midst of the crisis, their bullshit now sounds dangerous and crazy even to those who previously admired them as strong and charismatic leaders.

This is significant. We were very angry at first, when we couldn't understand why they kept the information about when the virus first appeared concealed. Many people were disappointed in how Germany and England responded to this emergency. There’s also fear that if the pandemic breaks out in a serious way in the US, a huge number of people will die as a result of the private healthcare system. The only positive news we saw was that Bolsonaro came into contact with someone infected with Covid-19. That could save many more lives! However, at the moment, attention remains focused on our country, with 900 deaths per day and new outbreaks.

13. Can you imagine things on a longer scale? Do you think it’s possible to predict how things will be in the longer term? It almost seems like there will be no return to normality. What do you think will happen in the next few months?

It's hard to say. It’s very difficult to make predictions while all these different newspapers and media throw news at us. It’s hard to reflect while isolated. Everyone knows that the more you stay at home, the less fresh air gets to your head. One day we experience pessimism and the next day hope, or at least you see new chances for some unexpected turn of events. Surely the months to come will be harder and harder. We’ll have to be ready to go out again and see how this situation has changed things. But how they will have changed, as I said, is impossible for us to know.

It's hard to imagine what will happen now because we don't know how long the lockdown will last. The whole world will change for sure. It's also difficult to express “cynical” or critical ideas as many people are very sensitive about the pandemic. Some issues will be affected – the Mediterranean geopolitical scenario, Italy’s alliance with China for the new ‘silk road’ in Africa, the war in Syria that brings millions of migrants to Europe. It is no coincidence that borders are now closed all over the world, this seems to us as well to be a form of experimentation. 10 years ago we were studying the NATO Urban Operations in the Year 2020 report, and now here we are.

An interesting scenario could open up for us. We spent years traveling the world to build networks wherever people tried to confront the government, often getting in trouble with local authorities. Now we are experiencing a worldwide scenario that unites us all, especially in the West. We have the opportunity to create a common model that can apply to many places in the world. Once the emergency is over, that can legitimize us to speak up against those who have created these problems. For the time being, we can’t say what our next steps will be. We know that some activist groups from all over the country are planning to mobilize, inspired by the Volunteer Brigades. In order to create a common trajectory, we will need to connect with this broader viewpoint.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok uhhh claia, lukemaryse and malec superhero au headcanons

first of all, id just like to say that i love this new trend of u guys sending me really vague prompts and giving me complete creative freedom to do whatever i want with them. i think it really shows that u trust me to create good, interesting content, and that means a lot to me. second of all, that trust is entirely misplaced. why would you ever think that id make something good. have you met me. what im trying to say here is basically: this is your own fault

behold:

In a world where everyone has a superpower, the world is bound to work a little different. No one knows what determines people's superpowers; some are fairly common (like teleportation, which led to a lot of ppl working as cabs, taking ppl to and from wherever they need) and others are unique and particularly powerful (and also dangerous, which is why particularly powerful people are part of an elite squad dedicated to keep the world safe; our very own superheroes)

Alec's superpower is definitely unique: he can sense trash. That's it. Hes just going around, living his life, sensing trash. He knows when people are littering. He can sense it from a pretty far away distance. Everywhere he goes, he knows where all the trash cans are. His life is just. Him and the trash, everywhere, haunting him

No one's ever heard of this before. Alec's mom, maryse, can bend all four elements, and is part of the Elite Squad; so is his father, although he retired from action and works behind a desk now. His sister izzy has superspeed and was trained to perfect combat in the hopes she would follow their footsteps, but ultimately decided to give it up and become a biologist instead. And Alec. Can sense trash

This was the source of a lot of Family Drama, since alec's parents were pretty strict and held their position as elite superheroes with pride, expecting nothing less from their children. But after many years of trying and failing to somehow make up for it, Alec decided to say fuck them and fully embraced who he is, refusing to live in apology. Once he finally left their house to live on his own, maryse realised he meant wanting to cut them off his life for real, and came around. Robert's lack of understanding was one of the factors that led to their divorce

Alec became an architect and works to build better and efficient waste collection systems in the country. Due to his power, he knows which places need the most infrastructure investment, as well as the problems that lead to the littering. He also knows which companies are illegally discarding their waste and how, the exact effects of that on the environment, and a lot of stuff that would otherwise only be possible through extensive research. He is an activist for both a better public, free, universal waste removal system, and stricter regulations on companies that profit from environmental destruction.

And the thing is, he likes this life. He's passionate about it. Everyday at work he gets to do a little something to make the world better and fight against injustice and use his place of privilege that comes from his education and his so-called "useless" superpower for change. He wouldn't trade it for the world and he's really passionate about what he does, even if it does take up most of his time

So when his mom comes in one day saying that a new villain named Trash Man is going around and killing people and they need his help to track him, Alec is not. amused.

First of all: Trash Man? come on

But he kind of has no choice, since this is top priority at the moment and the very ministery of security is calling him or something - every citizen is required to register their powers so they know exactly when they're needed

So he goes, and for the first time, he meets the rest of his mom's Top Secret team; first of all, there's the leader, Luke: his power is persuasion and hes very good at de-escalating events to guarantee minimal damage and better solutions, making him the most valuable asset of the team. Then there's Maryse, and under them, a team of relatively young, but very powerful, heroes: maia, a shapeshifter; clary, who can summon weapons and is very good at Stabbing; and Magnus, who can bend time and space

Magnus is also kind of the Group Genius; his power also got him an special interest in physics and chemistry, meaning that he is not only able to use his power intelligently and creatively, but effectively enhance it; he's also very good with tech and responsible for a lot of their non-power-related assets. Honestly, he likes that part way better than the crime-fighting blah blah blah, but he kind of has no choice over what he does because he's an orphan and extremely powerful, meaning he's viewed as a threat by the government while simultaneously being dependant on them, and would pretty much have nowhere to turn to if he didnt start working for them

But really, he wants to be a scientist. He wants to do good things. He wants to create stuff that will make people's lives, and the world, better. He doesn't even believe in this whole "crime fighting" shit; he believes in a just world crime would be minimal and using their resources to fight bad guys instead of working on crime prevention is an absolute waste. But it's not like anybody asked for his opinion.

Alec and Magnus immediately hit it off; Alec was kind of tense at first because surely these guys would have the world's hugest chip on their shoulder, right? But instead everyone welcomes him, and Magnus kind of jokes that he envies him, which takes him by surprise

Because Maia and Clary are both Magnus' great friends as well, Alec also gets closer to them; Clary can be a little self-centered and annoying, but she's cool and Maia always calls her out on it. Maia is a fierce, amazing, smart girl and Alec can totally see why she and Magnus are so close, with their similar sense of humor, shared experiences (Maia is not an orphan but she ran away from home when she was pretty young), and gleaming, almost mischievous intelligence and talent. Alec can hold a conversation with them alright, since as an architect he needs quite some knowledge of physics and as an activist he can also hold pretty good and deep conversations with them about the system and its flawed, unjust logic; but there are some topics they get into that just kind of escalate and seem to get them in their own little world. Alec finds himself watching from the sidelines sometimes, and while he admires that - and doesnt miss the way clary will sometimes sit beside him and watch them as well, a small smile on her face that tells him everything he needs to know - he finds himself... a little upset by it, too

Not that he has a problem with them, but he finds himself wanting to feel like he belongs, and that's kind of- new. It's not like his life is a sad wet sock of loneliness or anything, he has his sister, he has some friends, but he's a private kind of guy and he finds himself more comfortable at the sidelines than the spotlight, except when it comes to his work, because hes good at that

It's just his luck, then, that Trash Man turns out to be really smart and hard to track due to [vague plot noises], giving him all the time he needs to, well, figure this out

So he spends more time with them, particularly Magnus. The both of them will sometimes sit talking for hours, and soon learn a lot about each other. Magnus listens, enraptured, whenever Alec goes on a passionate Trash Rant™ and Alec is always in awe by Magnus' smart solutions. They begin some sort of camraderie that's also laced with Magnus' oh-so-smooth flirting, which started strong and eventually died out as Magnus began to realize he really liked Alec and his usual confidence and devil-may-care attitude vanished. But Alec mistakes this as Magnus losing interest or him seeing things. Cue lots of mutual pining

At least once Alec gets thrown through a wall by some villain; but, little did he know, it wasnt just a normal wall that he broke; it was the fourth wall. Alec looks straight into the reader's eyes, and goes: "I can sense trash. That's why, in this AU, i was never friends with jace". Then Magnus comes in and takes him back to the other side of the wall, and Alec blinks, confused, not remembering what had just happened. This is never mentioned again

Idk theres some gay shit in here, Alec introduces Magnus to Izzy and Magnus is absolutely in awe with her work. Izzy specializes in pollinators and works trying to restore the bee population and guarantee a more sustainable environment. Her work crosses with Alec's a surprising amount of times, and Magnus, who loves both animals and the incredible amount of knowledge her research requires, and they become super good friends almost immediately, which makes Alec very pleased.

More gay shit, Alec and Magnus decide to team up to try and get Clary and Maia together, only to be knocked sideways when they find out they're already dating. Maryse is like "do the four of you ever work" and Alec is hit with the realisation that his mom, too, kind of lives in the sidelines when it comes to things that arent work; luke seems to be kind of the mediator between her and the rest of the team, which is kind of sad. She does seem to have a good relationship with Luke, tho

Eventually they defeat Trash Man and Alec is no longer required to work for them and can go back to his trash activism; and when he does, so does Magnus, who is invited to work with izzy's team, which he gladly accepts

Somehow Alec confesses? And Magnus is in awe because he of course never expected Alec to like him back but. It turns out Alec is the most confident out of the two of them despite their exterior telling most people otherwise. And Magnus just says that yes he likes him back and will go out with him and they kiss passionately in the middle of the lab surrounded by bees but there are also flowers so theres that. And then they get married. I mean not right after but some years later

Magnus leaving inspires the rest of them, in some ways; Maia, Luke and Maryse start actually fighting to change the crime fighting policies to investment in crime prevention because new supervillains will always keep coming. The romantic tension between them finally snaps and they start going out. Maryse seems like such a different person now, more open and happier. Alec is pleased

They save the bees and the trash and the impending environmental apocalypse that looms over us is avoided idk that's all Ive got

Again this is your fault

The end

[order-progress]

I used to have a really entitled outlook on life. In my mind though, I was entitled to my thought processes because it was where my mind existed in the place having had come from a once far more turbulent era. Back then I didn't question things that werent outwardly obvious. I didnt question the unremarkable identities of things that exhibited no distinctions amongst one another. Life was a stream of experience, and I just did the best of choices I decided to arrange, or really actually, more like shuffle choices into a messy pile and pat myself in the back cause I could squint at it my mismatched pile of non related events and not feel guilty for putting off routine, structure and goals.

I guess it isnt so surprising to anticipate that like all my other experiences, disicpline would present itself when and if I needed it to be summoned out of wherever creative and yet very hard to imagine location i would imagine it arriving at some future, ambiguous date, just in time to make no work look like fancier no work and with ribbons on it.

Something very common happened to me, something that is happinning right now all around the world, no matter how many days, or years after i first posted this here.

My boyfriend broke up with me.

I wore my entitlement pretty high that day, because somehow, despite there having been no carefully executed plan made on ky end--some masterpiece scheme of genius where one could really see there existed some reasonable and healthy attention to tackle to fucking problem.

Nope. My mother fucking entitled ass decided id actually be shocked. Not even fake shocked. Thats how you know you have lost touch with your surroundings, because big things happen in your wake..while your awake and yet somehow your stuck on who killed the butler in the library with the candle stick.

What makes this one of the most significant event despite its occurance being fairly common globaly, is that his presence had caused me to become more aware of more of the things I would have otherwise taken in stride, none of these events were remarkable on their own, but collectivelly, I had inadvertantly cleaned up my mindspace to find neatly organized clusters of thoughts no longer blending into the subconcious like 70's urban grafitti.

I didnt hold that moment to some disporportionately skewed sugar coating scale just to get ribbons on them after they were organized,I just acknowledged them, like a breath,where as before, they were simply obstacles or pit stops that would perpetuate the chronic attention deficit I had welcomed into my head. I like to think of ADD as the worlds most innefective street sweepers, they sweep alright, but they just make a bigger mess and then you got things in places they have no business being in.

I was in a place of low self worth because of an accumulated collection of short lived and half assed adventures, disastrous endeavers and the nefarious presence of something so obscured, so black and forboding, made me avoid certain places for simply not wanting to deal with the house keeping it wouldve required to mitigate its destructive intentions.

I kept myself busy to not force the acknowledgent that this would become a source of not only my insecuruties, but then in addition to its ever increasing interconnectedness, its complexity. Its chambers that hardened like a mystical kight of armor, whose drawers were full of destructive objects and thoughts that rattled in their confinement as a means of foreshadowing something so sinister, I could not then yet fathom the destrutive ways its icy talons would engulf and twist into my everyday life simply to create chaos, and it didnt register that this was a problem because amidst this battle royale of fragments and bits of poorly put together patterns, Francisco's presense was a light whose emimation lulled me into a complacecy I hadnt anticipated

It wasnt that in this period, that I conciously made a decision to disregard the growing issue, it was the novelty of being in a loving, beautiful and mature relationship with someone that as each day grew, so did my conviction that this person was becoming the brightest fixture in an ever cramped confined hallway of possibilities.

As I stood there aware of this moment, feeling a satisfaction and a gratitude I had never felt before, I realized that I had come so far on autopilot, it was a move that was almost instinctual, I rolled my sleeves up, put on the rocky theme song, got my gym bag ready, went and bought like every stupid unessecary stupid trinket shit people buy to feel like their getting a handle and a good start on some shit, but really it just becomes the infuriating bag of junk that is now the obstacle between you and the door handle to exit your car and actually start your project.

I felt a sense of urgency, I saw how unequipped I had been and while I was and it was this moment that taught me how much I loved him. I reckognized that somehow I was one of those fucking weirdos that jumped through those seedy ass short cut type scenarios in life to give you the same effect of the real thing in less the time, kind of like a GED vs high school diploma, or plan b instead of condoms.

I recognized that there was an innate element of unneccesary risk involved in many of my accomplishments. The risk was usually always a concious decision that I would accept a certain amount of totally unnecessary consequences that typically would define the life of those people who you catch specific glimpses of in mysterious times like dawn or dusk. And be like..yea i could totally see that guy having to figure out what to do with the llama he inherited as a result of some gamble.

This was no longer an acceptable risk. It wasnt that i thought it was dangerous or scare him away, its that I am not the kind of man that wakes up and sees the problems his factory has and finally knows how to fix it and then just be okay with going to bed and put it off.

This is where I get annoyed again. I knew that I wasnt capable of actively doing something against him, because we both agreed on things, and also neither of us was completely high as fucking kite on methamphetamines while operating a forklift to tune a paino yet.

I couldnt ever feel bad about atheletes who ugly cried after being disqualified for juicing to get an unfair advantage in the sports world.

Yet once again my overwhelming confidence, my lovable man mentality of "fuck a map or tools you got grit, spit and teeth". Prevailed.

Im mad because it was this moment right here. In a sea of me being happy to grow and learn and doing the rignt thing. I saw a place i overlooked, its presence was almost like a marker that there were many other areas i needed to work on, and i got sad.

I didnt feel good enough. I felt like a mess. I felt dissapointed at the pride in nothing I had taken so many times. I was finally proud of the changes i was making again, only to be reminded in a very real way of how I never had structure, never had a fail safe implemented effectively to instead of adopting either anxiety or no fucks about an event that could have been in my power to mitigate, i either didnt even notice I missed it, or didnt care.

As I started seeing the mountain of work I had to do, I wondered what it meant about how effectively i could handle other things moving forward, it was an irrational fear that I had that I would dissapoint him because I wanted us to be happy. But i am an artistic person, people who work with details to make a larger picture learn early on how to work details, and I never evaluated just how shoddy my altertanitive crash course was like getting PlAN B instead of putting a condom on.

I can handle pressure effectively. I can be okay with my decisions. What I cant do is open up a factory, see everything that was negelcted when I now know how to fix it, and then go to sleep like nothing bothered me.

I never in my life found myself in a place where i came face to face with old life and it made me feel sad or humilated. I felt like a fraud for just having gotten lucky that everytning worked out, while he worked hard.

I suddenly felt something I never experienced before, fear in love. The moment where you realize your not a piece of shit because you actually dont want to let someone down, the moment when you feel bad because you walked around in life with luck you didnt give a second thought to and passed it off as hard work. And here was this beautiful man, whose life was suffering and hard work, and you realized all of it at once, and there I was, eager fucking beaver captain america man of the house cause now i feel like a god damned engineer since i could assemble an ikea 3 piece wrench-back the fuck up motherfuckers.

I just felt humbled and i felt driven. I also felt the pressures rise up around me and I dont know why I couldnt look away from the sight of the realization of how id been. And its not like i did it all on purpose, but from that moment on, it was as if I had something to prove to myself that at that time I couldnt understand yet because I hadnt reflected yet. And as I was taking the scenic route on ways to "punish yourself is actually how we fucking motivate ourselves around here cus were fucking men" the bigger I created something inside me that wasnt ever there. And then as the places that I had been tendering to and growing in started to not be kept, pressure in my life at home happened. And for the first time in my entire life I was embarrassed at my life.

I remember the moment I felt it, my mom leaving me at work after I lost my car. I walked 2 miles in the cold because i was infuriated that I allowed another event I could have forseen to happen.

I never in my life reflected this intensley on my actions before. Having him in my life made me realize I had been holding myself to a higher standard because I am at my best when I when I am actively building towards something. I opened a place in me I never saw with those eyes and it hurt me. I tried to let him in, and to be honest, the insecurities of him seeing all that mortiified me..not because I would be seen as a slob or this or that, i was just dissapointed that I for a time during when I needed it the most in my early life, I wasnt necessarily taught healthy ways to do things. Mostly because I came to this country at 10, didnt know english, parents worked all the time until i was 16 and then dad got sick with brain cancer and we caught it after he had a seizure cause dad apperently loved moonlighting as my biggest fan when he would go reading my journal at night.

I didnt know how to explain it to francisco. I was feeling. New concept, i was feeling out of sync, i didnt understand why it hit me so hard. I was trying to look away and orient myself on the present.

I could have just dealt with that. But i suddenly felt raw and vulnerable. My boyfriend and I were getting into arguments because I just wanted us to be closer due to this need i didnt know how to vocalize about what I was going through, and he hesitated because he probably thought id leave him if i saw his dirty secrets.

That was the one thing he really never appreciated about my love. I just knew. If everything else was as evident ..like this feelings and where they came from and how to process them healthy while ...it just all got too much. I didnt know how to tell him what I needed. I just needed him.

I started to feel like i wasnt tethered to the focused areas I was so eager to work in. I just kept telling myself communication is key we will get through it.

Then I the drugs did something I didnt expect them to. They turned off this guilt and switch. They gave me the quiet to make them come down to a more manegeable place where I wasnt overwhelmed anymore.

Because I couldnt process this in words at the time, i didnt know how to express that to him. It led to me feeling guilty for not understanding why i enjoyed doing the drugs aside from the stimulant effect. When i tried to explain it to him, it was like trying to coin a cheesy motto for a doomed cereal commercial in french, basically everuthing sounded like something he had no understamding or could relate to.

I started feeling depressed because i could see that although from his perspective we were fighting..

I was even more frustrated becauese we werent fighting. I was pretty much crying, trying to tell him in french something he didnt understand while he was yelling at me in english about me not respecting him by not speaking english.

This was the worst fucking part. Because part of the issue that led me here was accountabiliyy and communication.

I kept telling him in the only way i knew how.please im sorry i know things are getting worse. But this isnt how we are.

I thought we could get through anything.

In his mind he saw a piece of something, he ignored my emotional attachment to it..and i mean i cant blame him, other people never quit.

But even in those moments i knew i wasnt going to be other people.

And suddenly i was alone. I was depressed. I had realized that it wasnt us that was th issue so i tried so hard to communicate more effectively that he got frustrated and said i talked in loops. I felt so alone because i understood his frustration and i just needed him to trust me. But that was the perfect storm when i just got so alone feeling from his inability to just not look at me how i felt at myself. And i honestly tried to fix it in the middle of him running away and the most painful thing was that he couldnt understand and i didnt know how to say it.

I dont blame him for leaving

But a part of me breaks to my very core to know that if he just literally lookrd at me like yes i was going crZy but i was just hurting and overwhelmed.

All i wanted and needed was him.

The worst. Pain was that he didnt see that.

And i needed to explain it. And he didnt let me.

I felt like i was desperatly trying to express something of real explaination. I just honestly was desperate to because he was running.

I

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[gojayson-blog1]

Autobiograpy by Jayson R. Gomez

              I am Jayson R. Gomez , I was born October 13,1999 at Brgy of Mulanay, Quezon Province . We are two siblings in the family . I am the first child . My father’s name Valentine Gomez he’s from Mulanay quezon province and my mother’s name is  Editha Rejano  and she’s from Mulanay,Quezon province . I took my elementary education at Teodoro Yangco Elementary school located at Dandan St.,Tondo,Manila and highschool at Dr.Juan G. Nolasco Highschool located at Tioco St.,Tondo,Manila.  When I was 3 years old we moved to Tondo,Manila to lived permanently .

           During weekends, we usually spend our time with bonding or hangout with family and friends . During my high school days I spend my free time playing basketball or playing online games with my friend outside of school . I was a sacristan in school who loved and serve to God everyday . Our school was only a public .

          My hobbies are drawing , playing basketball , listening any kinds of music , watching movies and playing billiards . I spend my free time with my friends . when I was a kid I had a lot of dreams that one day I become a pilot or become a captain of the ship but I have a financial problem that’s why I took business administration for my college education .

         There a lot of things I like to do , I like to fun  with my friends and playing computer online games , I like painting Im essentially interested in creating works, and theres a lot of things I don’t like to is like eating fish that I don’t know what is, I also don’t like people who smoke on front and side of because I don’t like the smell and I have a headache when I smell the smoke of cigarretes .

         And right now I shared many some of my personality and tell you some more , my personality is im friendly to anyonelse , and im a joker to class because im also funny i also had a lot of jokes , I love singing also and jamming with my friends , some of my badpoints im quite forgetful and sometimes I had a bad mood well every personality

                  We lived in manila because my grandfather’s  had a poperty in tondo , we use to lived here because its would be a great experience to work and lived in manila. Its easy to find job here because manila is land of many opportunities theres a lot of companies and the education is good as well , mostly that suit to your courses . The difference here and province that’s its hard to commute here because of a heavy traffic happens every day and every night and the bad effect of pollution is very bad in health so its hard to breath . because of traffic mostly ive been late to go to school

              Theres a lot of obstacle in life happen some of them I still have , like time management . Im quite forgetful sometimes I memorized words and after a minute I forgot the words that I memorized . And also the biggest obstacle happen in my life is lack of focus , I don’t know why but happens to me sometime but its okay because the greater the obstacle the more glory overcoming it .

            For a long time its seemed to me that life was about to begin in real life . But there was always some obstacle in the way . something to be gotten through first. Come unfinished business, time still to be served ,a debt to be paid at last it downed on me that these obstacles were my life

           Being a student is not easy, being a student is all about studies , school life requires hardwork and discipline but it can also be fun being devoted student . I have developed a routine of getting up early in the morning . The life of me being a student is a combination of joy and challenges because of the requirements  in school that need to be fulfilled , but it is also a place where things can be learned

          I am a good person as the youngest child and honest . my family raised me to be a kind, honest and have fear with god . my mother told me that never give up in my dreams and fulfilled my ambition that’s what give me strength that they trusted me and giving my guts to continue exploring things . when I was on high school I thought its easy to live but many problems come so do I do my best to become successful in the future to give my parents give all the sacrifices they gave to me .

         My biggest achievements in life is , when I walk with my mother  to stage and accept my diploma in front of many people in graduation day . That day is so special and very memorable to me , the day that im very proud of myself , because the achievement that achieve specially being an honored student is very worth it . my parents are very proud of me the joy in their face is joy to me . the achievements , successes or accomplishments we gain in school  life years . Those achievements in middle, highschool or college student life that include my personal academic achievements . it may be the greatest the best or the bad  but I never forget .

        My mother is the best mother of all time she is a cheerful,kind,and beautiful. She is never afraid to speak her mind and can be very convincing when she want to . She sometimes upset a bit too easily , but she is just as quick  to forgive and forget. I love my mom for all that she is – even when she’s angry. For all that she has done for me and for all that she’s taught me . My mom has been through a lot throughout the years, but she always kept fighting.She taught me to never lose hope even in the direst of moments, and she showed me how to look for happiness in the small things. She’s been trying to teach me to be more organized as well, but hasn’t succeeded yet. I love her for that too.

       My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. I may not always find his jokes that funny, but I love him for trying. Dad almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprizes. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes, but he runs a large company witha firm hand. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. He’s worked day and night to ensure we afford good education and have a rich, wonderful childhood, and he has passed up many great opportunities for the benefit of our family. I love dad because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

            Mom and dad may be very different people, but they complement each other perfectly. Together, they formed a super-team that was always there – and, thankfully, still is – to provide comfort, nurturing, and support and help me grow as a person. Their complementary personalities bring balance in our family, and each of them steps in whenever they are needed the most. Together, they taught me to believe in myself and have turned me into a fighter. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that.

         I love my parents because they are my parents, my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe haven, my pillars of strength.I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in the future.All I can hope is that, when I have children of my own, I will be half as good a parent as they were to me.

         Life is  a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges. Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take. In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize that at the time. Along our journey we will be confronted with a lot of obstacles and hurdles that we will have to jump over and pass.  What we go through our life and how we react to life situations determines the outcomes of how the rest of our life will be. At times in our life things won't go how we want it to go so we have two choice to either accept the fact that things didn't go the way we want it to go and let it pass or we can learn the lessons being taught by our mistakes, we should just accept the fact that life is not permanent but temporary and we just have to live one day at a time.  we should realize that time wait on no man, it does not owe us.

        As the only son in the family I was very hardworking person , That is shown through my determination and harkwork  because id I didn’t believe myself I wouldn’t try as hard . I was taught to be caring anf thoughtful . I wasn’t taught anything elsa from anyone other than not to trust people .

     I worked hard to get to this point of my life and working even harder to get to the successful and graduate part of my life.

[chewiewrites]

@bluesrgcnts sent: 📱 + mainik / eric&kc 

SEND 📱 TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S PHONE. 

w/ MAINIK

What ringtone my muse has set for yours: Hang on to your uwus for this one. I think her ringtone for Nik changes… not constantly but as their relationship grows and changes. Her autonomic ringtone for everyone is definitely the Pokemon theme song. During their time as friends, I can definitely see her having Total Eclipse of the Heart because she really loves the song? Probably sings it too often, #prayfornik’sears. And later she changes it to Something About The Way You Look Tonight; and her final ringtone for him is definitely Can’t Help Falling In Love. Oh, did I mention that all of her ringtones for him are the violin version of the original song? Because that’s canon. 

What contact photo my muse has set for yours: Full disclaimer, Mai changes Nik’s contact photo SO often, it’s ridiculous. 

What my muse thinks of the way yours texts: Mailan.. finds it amusing that Nikita texts almost the same way he speaks? She could hear him saying what he sends her and it’s funny yet intimidating at times? Especially considering the way she texts? She sends so many emojis and a sentence at a time whereas I can see Nik sending her one block or line as a response and that’s it? No emojis or uwus or any of that sort of thing. And while at times Mai thinks it sucks, since she has NO idea how to take some things he says, she also loves it. The way he texts is just so him she couldn’t imagine it any other way? Because of how stoic-y he texts, Mai usually asks him questions such as “what do you mean by that?” and such. She feels bad doing so and sometimes avoids asking questions but other times she’s too scared of the meaning of what he says to keep quiet. That being said, I feel like she just grows used to it? To his stoic responses and such? I feel like at one point in their relationship, she no longer needs to ask questions and just feels much more calmer in regards to understanding him and such. Growth™️, I guess. 

How quickly my muse responds to your texts: Is it a surprise to anyone that she responds to him almost immediately? The minute she gets a notification and sees the bunny emoji, she’s unlocking her phone to answer him. Mailan often waits for his response in suspense or simply out of excitement. The only time she doesn't reply to him immediately is if she’s actually busy, think of work, schoolwork, showers, cooking, gardening, and sleep. And even so, there’s been instances were the notification from his text wakes her up and she responds and falls back to sleep (I can’t guarantee that those messages make any sense, some may have been in Vietnamese).

How often our muses text: Often, like I’d say daily. Mai definitely enjoys texting him every day, I can see her sending him good morning and goodnight texts every day without missing a beat. Even if he doesn’t reply to her, she still sends him so many messages? It’s almost a monologue and I’m embarrassed. But she means well with her texts and I’m sure Nik gets used to getting spam almost every day. 

How often our muses call: Depends? I’d say that if they are close to each other, think of school, camp, or wherever—I don’t know what other universes they may meet on, but if they are close and can see each other often or almost every day then the phone calls rarely happen. However, if they are in their perspective homes? The phone calls happen weekly if not more often. I’d like to think Nik is a busy boy considering his career of choice, so that’s why I don’t say daily.. Although if it were up to Mai’s clingy self.. that’s how it would be. But yeah, they probably schedule calls to have weekly. It’s funny to think of these fools as organized but again, Nik is a busy boy. And I’d imagine that when Mai is on break or home she’s doing a million things at once? Getting transfiguration classes plus violin classes. I somehow feel like she would also help her mother with her job? 

Does my muse purposefully miss calls from yours: Knowing Mai, no. She doesn’t have it in her to purposefully miss his calls UNLESS they’ve had a misunderstanding or she’s crying over something. I think Mai purposefully not answering his calls is so RARE, like.. I would be shocked when it happens. But I can imagine them having disagreements and she just kind of needs time? So she doesn’t answer his phone call—sometimes she lets him know, like “hey, I don’t think we should talk right now. Can you give me an hour or so?” Once they become.. a couple and have a some bumpy ass experiences she becomes so much more vocal about when she doesn’t understand what he means, or whether she does or doesn’t stand with it, etc? But them as friends? Mai just doesn’t answer his calls and then gives such a Lame excuse about it? Think of “sorry I was feeding my cat” even though Nik called her like five hours ago.. Additionally, Mai would purposefully miss his calls if she’s having a hard time and is crying, she sometimes texts him saying she’s struggling or other times she doesn’t.

Last text(s) sent from my muse to yours:

( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) that moment when your day is completely ruined!! ( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) i was just about to eat my breakfast right?? as i do everyday ( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) and when i go to get peach juice?? there is none left?? like WHO TOUCHED MY PEACH JUICE ( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) ..no one did. i had the last of it yesterday, i’m so upset.. it’s not a complete breakfast without peach juice  ( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) anyways, i hope your morning is going better… morning or day.. or night. what are time zones drafted! ( ✉️ – con thỏ tai to ) i miss you so much

w/ ERIC & KC

What ringtone my muse has set for yours: I’m so sorry to disappoint everyone but Eric doesn’t bother with ringtones? Like at all. This boy lets his ringtone be the basic af iPhone ringtone.. He doesn’t even change them to the other options it’s the one the phone comes with. 

What contact photo my muse has set for yours: You best believe KC took this photo and added it himself.. because otherwise, he would have no contact picture. Eric doesn’t bother with that either. This demon doesn’t bother with ANYTHING and I hate him for it. 

What my muse thinks of the way yours texts: Eric.. has seen people text worse than KC. It’s not that KC texts in a weird way.. it’s just A Lot™️ for Eric? Like he can just cringe at what KC sends him? I don’t know why but I feel like KC is an uwu sort of guy so he would use that and lots of periods or commas, maybe even a lot of line breaks? So that and the memes? And keysmaches? It just feels like a lot to Eric but he can.. see KC’s personality come through? He doesn’t know whether he hates it or is amused by it. Maybe he simultaneously hates it and finds it amusing. (The only bright side of KC texting habits is that it keeps Eric up to date with the memes). 

How quickly my muse responds to your texts: This dumb demon child takes his TIME getting back to KC! Unless it’s about business or it’s leading up to it in which he would reply sooner.. He still doesn’t reply instantly. At the beginning of Eric trying to charm KC, he definitely took a specific amount of time before replying to KC, like yes this demon calculated it. He wanted KC to wait, learn to at least. His goal? For KC to anticipate his response. To see whether KC would send more text messages instead of waiting. But Eric can take days or weeks to get back to KC.. good thing they live in Camp so they can at least see each other and talk then.. yikes. 

How often our muses text: As said previously, Eric is a slow ass texter but they probably have.. somewhat decent conversations. I’d imagine Eric would also text KC, it can’t all be one-sided because it might discourage him and Eric needs KC to still cave into his dumb demonic methods and ways. 

How often our muses call: Not.. that.. often? I feel like there’s different answers to this. When Eric’s manipulation was at its Peak™️ they probably had phone calls often, usually during the night. I can imagine Eric playing Fortnite (because.. he would) and having an hour conversation with KC, leading him on. He probably grows quiet when the match gets hard but.. I kind of works on his favor? You know that whole “let’s fall asleep on the phone” thing? Eric accomplishes it accidentally because he gets quiet id he’s really focused and KC eventually falls asleep. But after Eric calls them off? It’s just.. not a Thing anymore? KC can still call him.. but Eric doesn’t make the effort to have an hour conversation with KC. I imagine Eric and his dumb self calls KC when he’s highly intoxicated though, so good luck with that. 

Does my muse purposefully miss calls from yours: Yes, all the time. Though Eric sometimes doesn’t pay attention to his phone? He’s the type to not charge his phone for days because socializing is too much and seeing so many idiots face to face daily is Bad Enough for him. But Eric.. purposefully misses everyone’s calls, he can’t be bothered. If KC is insistent enough he’ll answer I guess or send one of those automatic(?) messages like “I’m busy, call later.” 

Last text sent from my muse to yours: 

( ✉️ – kc ) if you’re awake you should meet me near the entrance of camp in 5. i’m going to get legit chinese food from the city.

[katie-----luv]

ANSWERING QUESTIONS FROM THORAYA MARONESY

Can you describe someone you love?

He’s tall. He’s so dumb sometimes. Very very handsome. He makes my heart beat so hard that i feel like i’ll throw up if i stay around him. Even if I'm just thinking about him or have something of his, i feel absolutely crazy about him. I can't tell anyone who it is, but i want the whole freaking world to know how much i love this person because of how amazing he is. He wears his heart on his sleeve and gives up so much to make others comfortable and happy. He matches his clothes well haha and when he smiles, he makes me wanna stare forever. I could literally look at him all day. He asks me things that no one else cares about and he makes me feel so welcome. Even though I literally cannot be with him for so many reasons, he will always be the one that i will love more than anyone in the entire universe and i hate it but it is reassuring that I can love someone so much. He’ll never leave too. And the best thing about him is he gives the most amazing hugs. Long, amazing hugs. Middle of the night or 4 am, he always wants a hug from me. And no matter why or what happened, i will always want a hug from him. Because he just makes me feel everything. I love him so much that even if it's indescribable, i still try because it's worth it for him. Even if these words barely light the candles on the cake. 

What's the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

I think my sister. We’re sisters, ya know, we hate each other one second, but the next, she is as amazing as she was before. I think she is the most beautiful because of how she deals with life. She always questions, she gets deep. She isn’t simple-minded at all, very talented in art. She is the smartest person I've ever known personally. And I love how free she is. In a sense where she doesn't want to be like everyone else. She deals with her own crap like everyone else but at the end of the day, she is still getting back up and laughing. And she is so weird too haha. She likes things like care bears and wants to move to a billion different places and do a billion different careers and marry an Australian man. Her goals and personality just crack me up.

Can you define love?

Love doesn't really have a definition in my opinion. If you really love someone, you’re left speechless, you don't have the words to define what you feel because of how overpowering it is.

Can you define hate?

Hate is a major pain that is..like it feels like someone put a blanket on your heart and took swings at it until whatever or whoever you hate walked away. It's a pain that makes you feel more angry at one thing than anything else i guess.

What's your biggest regret?

I have plenty but I guess the one that sums them all up would be ever lying. Lying is what gave me more regrets. If not lying then maybe falling in love. No one really thinks i have ever been in love but i was in love with someone and they were in love with a made up version of me pretty much. I miss them everyday and i lost them bc i lied. So yeah, goes with lying but i hate that i ever fell in love with them whether it was real them or just a lie too.

Kindest act?

When i was in 3rd or 4th grade, I had a bunch of money saved up, close to $200 from birthday money and other holiday money. I spent some. I didn't know what to do with the rest, so I gave it to my school counselor to give to the leukemia charity that they were funding for the month. When they announced on the announcement that i was the biggest donator, they got my name wrong and called me Kayle instead, but I didn't care because I knew I did something good. It was $97.

Wildest dream?

I’ve had some crazy ones so it's hard to choose or remember all of one.

Biggest fear?

I used to think it was being murdered or kidnapped or maybe even spiders. Now i know that it's of being hurt. I've been hurt by lots of people before and ive cried so many times alone but didn't wanna tell anyone and pushed it down. It ended up making me do some things that i shouldn't have because I didn't wanna think about being hurt and i feel like if i have to keep pushing things down, ill continue to be afraid to speak out and be sad for a long time again.

Best and worst quality?

That's kinda hard because i have a lot of both. I guess I'll just pick at random though because i can't chose. I have a quality that can be good and bad at the same time. It's that I'm forgiving, i don't know when to give up on people. It's good because I can give people chances which makes a good friendship bc i dont just drop them. But it's bad because sometimes i give the wrong people too many chances and get hurt over and over. But when i try to figure out when to let go and give up, i do it at the wrong time and make more issues. So it's complicated.

When have you felt the most alive?

If I'm choosing a whole time period, up until 4rd grade. A moment in the times I remember, when I dropped someone holding me back. I say up until 4rd grade because all times before then, I didn't care what people thought. I was never hurt like i have been since. I was a happy kid who played with littlest pet shop and had a billion besties. And i say when i dropped someone holding me back i mean that i was hung up on someone I thought loved me unconditionally and I loved them so much. He ended up not caring about me anymore which was understandable. But later on when I finally told him to go away because all he did was make me hurt, I stopped talking to him, and I was so so so SO free.

What's the best advice you’ve been given? 

You have to love people for who they are. My mom told me this. I don't like judging people or making people hurt or uncomfortable. But sometimes people have qualities that I just can't stand but they are some of my closest friends. So when my mom told me this, I felt like if i can't love them past these qualities, maybe i need to realize whether or not i love them really, because I can't change them to fit my needs or wants.

What's been your biggest obstacle?

Trying to get passed drama whether it was created by me for myself or drama with everyone. I made mistakes, I'm human, but it's been tough trying to learn from them. Now, I'm starting to see where I went wrong and moving past it to grow. 

Most embarrassing story?

I have a lot and I physically can't make myself type any bc they're so bad.

Your perfect life partner?

Someone who doesn't care when I'm being a bum. Someone who loves me and respects me. I'm not big on too much PDA. every once in a while, i'll kiss or hold someone's hand but usually, i feel embarrassed for whatever reason. So id like them to remember that and ask or hint first. I dunno.

What does beauty mean to you? 

Beauty means personality and looks to me. It doesn't mean hot or pretty. To me, beauty is how you describe someone that's indescribable.

Favorite memory?

Well i have a lot of memories that make me smile so much. But the one that I can think of off the top of my head is probably when I went up to Ohio where my cousins live around x-mas. The year before, my little cousin Silas passed away on New Years eve. We all went to this thing where they sang xmas music, had santa, and lit up some building. Me and all my cousins had our arms around each other and we were all singing together. It felt good that even though only a year before, we lost someone so young, we could all still smile and stay strong, together.

A moment that moved you?

I was at bob evans once with my mom and sister and a random old man paid for our meal and came to us saying he just wanted too. I never forgot that old man and that happened back when I was maybe 5 or 6 and i'm way now.

What would the title of your movie be?

hm...Self-inflicted because i self inflict too many issues for myself.

How have you changed?

I’ve learned so many lessons that I needed to learn.

What do you wish you said?

I wish i apologized about so much. I also wish I told my parents why I made so many mistakes. If i had done both of those things then I wouldn't have so many regrets because I would have had less drama and maybe some support or help.

Your last words?

I'm sorry i pushed it all down.

One thing you would change about yourself?

Maybe some of the things that go through my head. I can be really rude or sound super depressed. I would change how I handle that in my head.

Biggest pet peeve?

Matching and lint/hair on clothes. If you don't match or are covered in lint/hair, it makes me feel so anxious.

What's your purpose?

I think I may actually be too young to answer, but i'll tell you when i know.

Your one simple rule?

I think I have too many to answer that.

What are you looking forward to next?

Moving away. I have so many bad relationships with friends and ive lived in the same place for my entire life. I feel like i live in a box and i need to experience other places. I want to grow in life but is hard when i'm in the same place everything has happened. So moving will help me grow a lot.

What are you most proud of?

My academic achievements. I still suck at math but I'm hoping that I can fix that and maybe I'll really have all honors classes. As of now, I have almost all honors, just missing math.

What do you miss most in life?

Feeling happy for more than a short period of time. I'm not as sad as i used to be. But back when i was always depressed, i was the definition of pushing it all away around my family. I never told my parents and still haven't told them how sad I really always felt, only the jist, because of school and life. And now, i have better things that make me happy but at the end of the day, I always feel worthless and drained.

How would you like to be treated?

I would like to be treated like i'm as equal as everyone else. My close friends know that I haven't been in a good place for a while, i went through family drama because of me for a while and i'm starting to finally fix my mistakes but it's tough because they all treat me like i can't be told about their problems since it might make me worse i guess. And I think that's also why they treat me like the ‘leader’. Out of pity. It's been that way my whole life. Even as a little kid. And i hate it. I just wanted to be treated like i'm a friend not like what i need matters more than anyone else's needs because i have ‘issues’.

What do you want to let go of?

Everything that's been put in the past. I know it's been put there for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. I want to let go of the mistakes I made in the past because I opened my eyes and saw that that's what they are, mistakes. And even if it happened yesterday, i wanna let go, because it's time to move on if it's not happening.

What does the world need?

A big slap of sense. So many are oblivious to the issues we cause to the world and what issues are just happening to the world. While some things are serious, there are bigger problems than what celebrity slept with someone last night. Things such as suicicide and global warming are real and everyones too busy worrying about chris hemsworth’s abs and so and so’s herpes. I'm guilty of it too, but more and more I realize that there's serious things happening and no one is doing much. 

What makes you happy?

There's a few things but for some reason, my cousins makes me unbelievably happy. When I'm around them, they're not my cousins. They are the best best friends I could ever ask for. I have never loved anyone more than I love all of them. When i hear i get to see them, I'm on it! I hope for the words ‘we’re going to ohio’ every second. I absolutely love them to death, even the ones who are slower than turtles. If they were my siblings, I would want to be home daily with all of them. I cant even explain how much my heart screams to be around all of them and i have no idea why. They're all so amazing. And so are their parents and grandparents and all of them. When my family is with them, i see how much fun they have and it makes me even happier because my parents don't hangout with too many friends or close family. But with them, they talk and laugh as much as I do and I love seeing them so happy.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

OH YEAH! By friends, crushes, family. I guess if I chose one from each category, friends would be when one of my closest friends told my whole school that i had leukemia and i was getting treated. So many kids asked if I was okay and I was all, ‘what?’ when I found out, I confronted her and she lied about it. And when i didn't accept her apology, I did say some uncalled for things, but she made me feel like she could just throw away friendships left and right and she didn't care what happened. But when she lost all her friends, she cared, and she put us all on a bully form because we decided we didn't need a friend who would do something like that. And it was hard watching it happen because we’d been friends our whole life. For crushes, when I was in 5th grade, I was finally in class again with a life long crush. But he played me a bunch of times and bullied me along with his friends. That stuck with me, everything they said and did, but i only cried about it alone because I didn't think it was that serious that they bullied me. Now i see it was. For family..i think when my little cousin silas passed, I realized how serious death was because I was in 6th grade at the time, I understood it all completely. It broke me big time because id met him once and he was a sweet kid. While it brought our entire family together because of his funeral, I bawled the whole time because i felt like i could've done more to interact with him even though I never had the actual chance really. 

The hardest question I've asked?

Thats hard to answer. I think when I had to ask myself if I thought being alive was worth it. I never thought i'd be the person to have to ask myself so when i did, it hit me hard and I had to take it seriously. 

What's beautiful about you?

I think it's that i always want change and am almost always willing to change. Yeah, i'm a person so sometimes I don't want to change anything. But to me, change is so good and the fact that I'm always growing because I'm constantly needing change is beautiful because it makes me mature rather than be naive forever.

How did you find out Santa isn't real?

Oh haha. My sister. We had an elf on the shelf and her and I touched it to test if it would move still. It did. So i question if Santa was real because the elf wasn't. And i would hear people moving all the time when i went to bed x-mas eve. Yeah, i took it easily. But in the back of my head, i was always kinda salty that my sister ruined the fantasy for me. But better now than never.

How do you get through hard times?

I cry. I don't like talking about problems, I feel embarrassed and alone when I have them. So I write and I cry. Which is probably one of the worst ways to deal with it all, but music also helps and I think plenty use music to get through things.

When did you realize you weren't like everyone else?

When i realized how sad i always was. And maybe when i saw how i wasnt a super skinny kid. I'm not fat. But i'm not a stick like all these girls. And i noticed that. But yeah, when i started to feel more and more sad as I got older. And I saw how not too many others were like that.

Worst decision?

Lying because it only made life worse.

1 strange fact about me?

I have a weird birthmark where my leg starts to lead up to my underwear line on the left side. I hate wearing swimsuits like underwear because of it. It's dumb.

Most complicated question ive asked?

I honestly don't know about that one.

What do you look for in a man?

I look for a deeper part of them. I look for things like the nerdy vibes. I like nerdy or depressed guys. I don't like depressed dudes because they're depressed but because they’re the ones with the deep, interesting thoughts. And nerdy because i think dorky guys are adorable. But either way, I like when they listen and their understanding and sweet. I like when they talk a lot, but not more than me. When they make dumb jokes and do more than play video games, i like that. And when they have fashion sense. And shower.

What are you scared to share with people?

Probably what my mistakes actually are.

Earliest memory?

I have a few that I remember being super young but i don't know which one was the first one but one that I like a lot is when I was really young my mom would throw my sister and i big birthday parties and I had a close friend named Gavin Bush. he and I were close because his sister Emma was besties with my sister. But i remember at my birthday party, we were eating rice krispies together and laughing. He had a huge crush on me for the longest time and I always feel bad that I didn't notice much. But i mean, laughing with him was one of my favorite things to do back then. 

Most painful thing you've ever been told?

That i lost all trust. I lied too much and my parents told me that i lost any trust they had in me. But i try everyday to build it back up.

Kindest thing you’ve been told?

That i keep people happy, even when I'm going throw something myself. My friends have told me that even when they're mad or upset, I still make them laugh and while it pisses them off, they love that about me.

What are you ashamed of?

My body. I love some things about it and hate others. I hate my thighs and stretch marks but i remember that someone out there could care less and only cares for my mind and i feel better.

Worst thing you've done to please someone?

Lied about my whole life pretty much. Or said someone said one thing when they said the opposite to protect their feelings.

[maribelsawyer]

- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc. 

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know. 

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u  h h h h 

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.