#If someone sexualizes this I’m suing

[palesweetscherryblossom]

Little two legs

Over the couple weeks you spent with the two nagas who claimed themselves as your parents, you had learned quite the interesting things. For instance, the blue haired one was utterly obsessed with your body. Often squishing your cheeks or peppering your face with kisses. Shigaraki was currently fretting over your legs, he had giddy delight as he squished them.

You winced as Shigaraki smiled. “Aww, you’re like a little cherub.” He cooed, you whined with annoyance. “Stop it!” You whined, Shigaraki retracted his hands and frowned.

“Stop being so stubborn and let me love you!” He said, picking you up and nuzzling your face. “My cute little two legs.” He crooned, admiring you. You flinched as Tomura continued his analysis on your legs.

He frowned at seeing little scratch marks on them, Shigaraki tisked before snuggling you closer. “I forgot humans had such fragile skin! I’ll have Dabi smooth out the nest and get more blankets.” He muttered. You tried to worm out of his grip before he held you tighter. “Hey now! Our bonding time isn’t over yet!” He said firmly before laying you down and joining you. “Apparently, skin to skin contact help forage a bond between parent and child.” You frowned uncomfortably as Shigaraki plopped you on his chest.

“There, we can start bonding with papa once he comes home.”

[heavenlyraindrops]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 | 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail Dr. Ratio x Reader Warnings: Profanity, Smut (sexual content), oral (f recieving), fingering . Word Count: 1k

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

It wasn’t a secret in your class that you were struggling with the course, some people even wondering how you had managed to be admitted to the Intelligentsia’s university in the first place. It was also no secret that you were acquainted with the great Dr. Ratio himself, which, again, made people wonder what sort of good deeds you could have committed in your past life to be struck with so much fortune in this one.

It was your friend Aventurine who had introduced you two in the first place- You had met Aventurine in a casino, and after a few months of friendship and upon hearing you attended one of the Intelligentsia Guild’s schools, he had decided to introduce you to Dr. Ratio.

The truth was the two of you weren’t particularly close- there was always some weird tension between the two of you that you couldn’t put your finger on. The stares that lasted too long, the way your skin prickled whenever he looked at you. You’d met his hand with yours once, and the sensation of his skin on yours had burned trails of fire on your palm- you had always been conflicted whether he made you uncomfortable or whether you simply wanted to see him

So when you had met him again and accidentally blurted out your academic shortcomings- watching him fall silent, eyes languidly sweeping across your face- his next words shocked you.

“Meet me in my office, and I’ll help you with whatever you’re struggling with.”

“I- what? Are you su-“

He waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t think I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart. You know I can’t stand to be in the company of someone ignorant.”

Ignorant might have been pushing it, but you clamped your lips shut and took the offer. You needed to catch up anyways, and he was the best tutor you could have gotten.

So here you were now, hovering nervously around his office’s door, wondering if you should knock or if he was even inside.

It swung open without warning. “Ah. [name].” His eyes flicked up and down your figure, and you almost shrank back, before forcing yourself to stand straight. “Come inside.”

You did.

It had barely been half an hour before you could sense his growing frustration with you. No matter what you did, you couldn’t focus- the thread on your clothes would distract you, or maybe the ticking of the clock. Or perhaps his handsome face- You flinched at the sound of a book slamming closed, glancing up quickly to meet Dr. Ratio’s hard eyes. You licked your lips nervously, and his eyes immediately flew to the action, making your face heat up.

“[name],” he said slowly. “If you think you’re going to magically learn by simply staring at my face and zoning out, you’re delusional.”

You flinched, licking your lips again, and the crease between his brows deepened. “Sorry.”

He tapped his fingers against the desk, a sign of his growing impatience.“Sorry? Is that it?”

You fidgeted with your fingers, chuckling nervously. “I-I’ll focus this time- promise.”

He stood up abruptly, his chair screeching against the floor, the sound making you flinch as he advanced towards you. He leaned down to whisper, so that you could hear him.

“Oh, I know you will.”

-

The pages of your book slipped through your trembling fingers, every muscle in your body tensed. You tried to focus on the words on the paper which were almost swimming across the page, you being unable to focus on anything except Veritas’s head in between your legs.

“Why did you stop reading?” He murmured, and you could feel his hot breath skim across your skin. You bit your lip as he forced your legs open wider, licking one long strip across your entrance, making you flinch and squirm. “Do you want me to stop?”

“N-no,” you choked out, hands fumbling with the book. You felt his shoulders move against you, in a silent, amused chuckle.

“Start reading again.”

You swallowed. “The first principle of the- ngh!” You pulled your hand away from the leather to bury in his hair as he pressed a kiss to your clit, before swirling his tongue around the sensitive area. His teeth grazed it, dangerously, like a warning.

“Read.” And this time the vibrations from his voice trembled through your body. Your eyes fluttered a shut for a moment from the white-hot pleasure before snapping open again as you felt his nails dig into your thigh.

“The first-“ you cut off sharply again as he thrust his tongue in between your wet folds, sending another electric jolt through your body. “I can’t,” you cried out, voice bordering on sobs, “it’s too much-“

“Shh,” he whispered, pushing himself up towards you in seconds to press his finger to your lips. Even through your lidded eyes you could make out the smirk he was wearing. “Did I invite you here to mess around?” His breath was hot on your ear. “Or to work?”

His voice was firm and even, betraying no arousal, but you could still tell by the shaky way his chest rose up on down, by his boner pressed up against your leg. You whimpered again as his hand slipped in between your thighs.

“Read,” he breathed, voice so low only you could have heard it. A finger curled inside you, and you buried your face in his neck, mumbling a muffled ‘I can’t’ into his shoulder. You rolled your hips against his crotch in one subtle movement to rile him up, and felt him tense immediately.

He exhaled slowly- you could feel his chest deflate, his breath skim against your hair before pulling away from you. You sniffled, looking up, barely registering what had happened before he pulled you up sharply, pushing you onto the couch before climbing over you. You bit your lip to suppress a smile. His eyes narrowed.

“Do I really still need to teach you a lesson?” He hissed, voice strained. His hands dug into your hip. You cocked your head to the side, eyes glittering.

“Maybe.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

A/N: idk why i suffered writing this but enjoy. Also my ask is open if you want to request a specific oneshot :) BYEE

[hlizr50]

Can someone clear this up for me? I’m a bit confused.

Apparently, Gwyn would never be able to have a satisfying and potentially kinky sexual relationship with Azriel because *trauma*.

But Elain could, even though she was apparently IMMENSELY traumatized by being thrown into some water and being made young and strong and even MORE gorgeous for literal eternity (let me just gather a tear for you, love)… not to mention she blushes at the mere mention of a menstrual cycle.

Shipping Gwyn with Az because she’s a strong warrior woman means that we hate femininity.

But deciding Elain will be a spy with Az only means that she’s strong and capable, but she’ll definitely remain a delicate feminine flower, at the same time.

Gwyn mentioning the Dread Trove to Merrill to try to get more information is “sus”.

But Elain sneaking about town where nobody knows exactly what she’s doing is nothing worth mentioning.

When Gwynriel shippers reference the bonus chapter, it doesn’t mean anything because it’s not actually a “real” chapter.

When Elriel shippers reference the bonus chapter, it means EVERYTHING because the fact that they’re both hot and want to bang clearly means that they’re meant to be together forever. And it’s a VERY REAL CHAPTER.

Make it make sense!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking what happened to friend experiencing a post-traumatic response while trying to sus a situation out?

So my dear friend Danielle is in a bad spot. Her living situation is physically threatening and verbally abusive— she’s living with a friend’s family member with significant physical and mental disabilities and substance abuse problems. She has been threatened physically and sexually, been degraded, and been locked out of the room she rents, split between her and a really wishy-washy, uncaring, and bitchy friend. Multiple times, I’ve offered to let her couch surf with us short term.

She calls me one night when I’m head to toe in fetish gear, and there’s fetish stuff strewn around my house. No shit. And it’s not as simple as throwing a vibrator under the bed, not by a long shot. This was her time of need…I was also under the influence. I told her I was engaging in sexual activities and asked what happened to try and sus the severity of the situation out and it absolutely triggered her. Full stop. It was bad that night, for sure. She needed an out, and was sobbing before she could go through what had happened. I immediately felt awful and told her to come by. I ran around my house cleaning up then waited for two hours… she ended up in the care of another friend (presumably someone who could have helped her sooner.)

I feel awful that I didn’t immediately embrace her, but I doubt she would have wanted to see me like that while recuperating and re-establishing a sense of safety. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[blondelover2772]

The Book

CHAPTER 1

Larissa Weems x (adult) Wednesday Addams

WARNINGS: angst, drama, romance, comfort, fluff, Christmas, age difference, adult Wednesday, lonely Larissa, sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering, sexual inexperience, love, cat and happy ending :)

WORD COUNT: 20,000+

about conscience, about forgiveness and about love

First of all, I’m not a native English speaker so excuse me for all my mistakes.

Secondly, this story has three chapters, which are already written. I’m just struggling with translation right now :)

And finally, Wednesday is adult enough to have a relationship with another woman.

Enjoy.

The permanent principal of Nevermore Academy Larissa Weems drummed her fingers boringly on a mug with already cold hot chocolate, watching raindrops quickly flow down the huge windows of the Weathervane café, obscuring the cozy streets of Christmas Jericho with their bizarre patterns. After another glance at her wristwatch, the woman was about to leave, when suddenly the ringing of Chinese bells, hanging on the front door, announced a new visitor. The blonde didn't even have to turn around to find out who it was. Only she could have dared to come to the Weathervane when nature, deciding to give people a pre-holiday surprise, brought down a real downpour on the city.

“I'm sorry I'm late.” The familiar voice of Wednesday Addams was heard behind the woman.

Finally, turning around, Larissa discovered the girl, soaked from head to toe in the December rain, was quickly squeezing the remnants of water from her long hair.

On closer inspection, Wednesday turned out to be unexpectedly much older and matured. Instead of the two usual braids and bangs, the girl's face was framed by a shock of wavy wet hair of the same pitch-black color, her lips, neatly emphasized with scarlet lipstick, looked even plumper, and the figure, hidden under a tight dark turtleneck and matching jeans, now looked like the figure of a real young woman. The two years since their last meeting had clearly benefited Wednesday.

“Miss Addams,” Larissa nodded her head politely. “I was already beginning to think that your letter was someone's stupid joke.”

The woman watched Wednesday closely, waiting for some sarcastic remark. Surprisingly, there was no remark. Instead, the girl was diligently wiping raindrops from a large black bag with paper napkins, as if it contained something so fragile that it could disappear from simple contact with water. Finally satisfied with the result, Wednesday looked into Larissa's eyes for the first time that evening.

It was not the look that the woman remembered in Marilyn Thornhill's greenhouse, where they saw each other for the last time. Then the frightened eyes, frozen in genuine shock and horror, seemed to beg for help. Now, there was a subtle softness mixed with atypical shyness in the girl's black eyes.

“I did it.” Wednesday said without preliminaries and not taking her gaze off Larissa.

“Of course, I understand that brevity is the sister of talent, but could you be more specific, Miss Addams?”

Taking a deep breath, the girl took the menu, lying on the table, and began to study it intently, either from a desire to really order something, or in an attempt to take a break.

“It has been two years since I’m not in Nevermore and you are no longer my principal. I see no reason not to call me just Wednesday,” throwing the menu aside, the girl looked at Larissa again and added uncertainly, “I think it's fair for me when I talk to you.”

Larissa grinned softly. Still, some things never change.

“Well, just Wednesday, I guess discussing such formalities was not the purpose of our sudden meeting. The letter said there is something so important that it couldn't even be discussed over the phone.”

“Although I have a phone, not by my own will of course, it is much more pleasant to invite another person on a date by a letter.” Leaning her chin on her hand, Wednesday looked attentively at the woman.

“A date?” Larissa couldn't hide her surprise at the girl's words.

“A meeting of two people, if you like,” Wednesday looked down at the menu again, “but before we continue discussing semantic subtleties, I need to drink a hot espresso. For all my love for water and cold tortures, I wasn't ready for these today.” The girl waved her hand at a bored waiter at the bar.

And only now did the woman realize that in her rain-soaked clothes, Wednesday was probably chilled to the bone.

The barista guy came up, kindly took the order for a quadruple espresso, and went to the coffee machine at the bar.

Larissa noted that apart from her and Wednesday, there was not a soul in the whole Weathervane. The subdued light from the Christmas garlands, hanging on the windows, gave an incredible comfort, and the jazz music, playing from the speakers, created a truly romantic atmosphere. Really, it looks like a date. Larissa immediately pushed the thought planted by the girl out of her head. What kind of a date can we talk about with Morticia's daughter? On top of everything else with a former student. Even with the smartest, most daring, brave and, as it turned out now, very sexy, but still the former student.

From a string of not very decent thoughts, the woman was distracted by the friendly voice of the waiter with a cup of fragrant drink for the frozen girl.

“Would you like some more hot chocolate, miss?”

“No, thanks.” Larissa rewarded the barista guy with a polite smile and turned her astonished gaze to Wednesday. The girl greedily gulped down the strong espresso, as if it was not a ninety-degree drink, but simple water at room temperature. Setting the nearly empty cup aside, Wednesday sighed with relief.

“As I said, I did it.” With these words, the girl reached for her bag. A few seconds later, a thick pile of yellowish sheets appeared on the table, fastened with a black scorpion clip. “At the moment, I'm eighteen years old, two months, three days,” Wednesday glanced at the clock hanging in the Weathervane, “and twenty one hours. I broke the record of Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein at the age of nineteen.” A satisfied smile appeared on the girl's face.

Larissa looked curiously at the first sheet, on which a single word was printed in small typewritten letters — the book.

“What an original title for the first book. It's definitely going to succeed.” The woman said with a hint of sarcasm.

A look of resentment appeared on Wednesday's pale face, quickly replaced by self-confidence.

“This is an ideal title for intellectually developed individuals whose inquisitive mind is not afraid of the unknown. Only the superficial ignoramuses need to chew the essence of the book immediately from the cover.”

“Your words, but in the ears of the classics.” Larissa retorted with an ironic smile. How she missed sparring verbally with Wednesday.

Finishing the remaining espresso in one gulp, the girl slowly pushed the manuscript closer to Larissa, caused slightly confusion in the woman.

“May I ask why did you brought this to me?”

“Before I send the manuscript to the publisher, you must read it.” The girl said in a commanding tone, without taking her black eyes off Larissa.

“Do you really think that the principal of Nevermore Academy has nothing better to do than read the manuscripts of former students?” Larissa tried to hide her growing interest behind her pretended indifference.

“Do you have anything to do? All the Nevermore students went home for the holidays to pay tribute to the silly Christmas tradition. There is no one left in the academy, except for a couple of workaholics like you,” the girl bit her lip thoughtfully, “as for your personal life, as far as I know, you do not have and have not had a woman for a long time, whom you would prefer to fascinating reading of my manuscript,” Wednesday looked intently at Larissa and she added quietly, “your presence at the café on Saturday evening with a former student only confirms this.”

Larissa's cheeks flushed. Fortunately, behind the thick layer of foundation, it was hard to notice Wednesday.

This brazen girl, having not seen a woman for two years, somehow inexplicably managed to sum up her whole boring life to date in a few sentences. The question, which should have slightly pricked the girl, turned against Larissa herself. And if you don't need a lot of intelligence to understand the obvious state of affairs at the academy, then how could Wednesday find out juicy details about a woman's sexual preferences? Had Morticia told her everything? The mere thought made the woman unbearably painful. Morticia was the first to whom Larissa once opened up, and she mercilessly trampled on her love and ran away to Gomez Addams. No, Wednesday can't know that. Wednesday shouldn't be discussing her failed love life with such equanimity at all.

But unfortunately, Wednesday can do anything and Wednesday doesn't owe anyone anything. She has proven this more than once during her studies at Nevermore.

Now, with her straightforwardness and outright tactlessness, the girl has crossed all imaginable and unimaginable boundaries. And if a minute ago Larissa was seriously thinking of acting as a literary critic of Wednesday's debut book, now this is out of the question.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me? Can I go now?” The woman said coldly, getting up from the table and not wanting to continue listening to the humiliating monologue of a young self-taught psychologist.

“No,” grabbing the manuscript, the girl immediately jumped up after her, “even if it contradicts my principles, my phone number is written on the back of the first sheet.” Wednesday handed her book to the woman, as if she sincerely expected her to take it.

Once again, Larissa was surprised by the amazing audacity and self-confidence of the girl. Does Wednesday really think that after saying that she will take the manuscript and then call to give a detailed review?

After taking one last look at the soaked girl with the damn book, Larissa headed for the exit with only one desire — to forget about tonight and about Wednesday.

Torrential rain with sharp gusts of wind greeted the woman warmly on the street. Taking a blue umbrella out of her bag, Larissa regretted that she had agreed to this meeting with Wednesday. But deep-seated guilt and nasty pricks of conscience simply left her no other choice. In her letter, the girl insisted on a personal meeting, the importance of which could change their lives forever.

Taking a deep breath, Larissa opened her umbrella and prepared to meet the nature, as at the same moment the instigator of the ill-fated “date” appeared from the doors of the Weathervane. She slung her bag over her shoulder and looked at the woman helplessly, if such a word can be applied to Wednesday at all.

Larissa Weems has always been famous for her fairness and toughness. But no one would dare to call her cruel. As much as she was offended by Wednesday's words, leaving the girl on the street in such weather is too inhumane.

“Judging by your clothes, you don't have a car or an umbrella. I can give you a ride and then our paths will part.” The woman said dryly.

Assessing the hopelessness of the situation, Wednesday silently climbed under the large umbrella, as far away from the woman as possible. Larissa clearly felt that the girl was uncomfortable, either from a sudden awakening of guilt for what she had said to her, or for some other reason, known only to Addams.

It seemed to rain even harder, and the thunder, alternating with bright lightning, grew louder by the second.

Gracefully avoiding puddles of liquid mud and finally coming up with a parked car, Larissa opened the passenger door for Wednesday, who climbed inside without further ado.

Once again thinking about how just one letter from an obnoxious girl changed her perfectly planned Saturday night with old movies and a bottle of red wine into a painful reflection on her unenviable life, the woman got behind the wheel.

“I'm staying in an apartment near yours,” the girl began, watching the wipers vigorously struggle with the water on the windshield, “considering that the purpose of my arrival in Jericho was to meet you, this is the most convenient option.”

Not wanting to comment on the practicality of Wednesday, the woman abruptly pressed the gas pedal, and the car roared off.

In the silence that followed, Larissa's thoughts, however, were not silent at all, being replaced by logical questions and unpleasant memories. What was this meeting really so necessary for? Is it really all about Wednesday's simple desire to amuse her ego? And why should Larissa read the manuscript before sending it to the editorial office? None of this made sense. After all, one terrible autumn day, their paths parted forever. Replaying the events leading up to their last meeting in her head, Larissa could not help but feel a disgusting sense of guilt. She had to protect Wednesday from all the dangerous and terrible things that could await her within the walls of the academy. But, unfortunately, Larissa did not succeed. On the other hand, this is also the fault of the girl herself — Wednesday is so on her own mind that she would not listen to woman's instructions anyway. Therefore, succumbing to the persuasions of the girl, who confidently believes that she has finally figured out the true face of Hyde, Larissa, along with Wednesday, went to the Marilyn Thornhill‘s greenhouse. And she couldn't save herself, much less the girl. Being by her nature an invulnerable shapeshifter, the woman could not have imagined that Thornhill would decide to use belladonna — the world's most powerful poison, which is able to temporarily disable even such a poison-resistant organism as Larissa's. The woman woke up in the hospital the day after Wednesday's famous victory over the pilgrim Joseph Crackstone. Although Larissa did not see the hell that the girl had to experience, the woman heard stories one worse than the other. How did Wednesday manage to move on after all this nightmare and even write the book? The girl, despite her young age, was smarter than any adult, with whom Larissa had to communicate on a daily basis in Nevermore. It was thanks to this quality that the girl then became an unexpectedly close and dear person to Larissa. Now Wednesday, who has noticeably honed her sharp mind, has turned into a very beautiful young woman who needed a meeting with Larissa, who was unable to protect her once.

As she approached her street and slowed down a little, the woman looked at the hushed Wednesday and arched an eyebrow questioningly.

“Building 221b,” the girl answered the unspoken question and added, “apartment 27.”

Larissa quietly grinned, in a building with what number could a young Sherlock Holmes stay? And indeed not far from her own.

Deftly maneuvering between huge puddles and finally catching up with the cherished complex of apartment buildings, the woman turned off the car and examined still wet Wednesday.

“You can keep it for yourself.” Larissa handed the umbrella to the girl in another outburst of care, which, by the way, Wednesday did not deserve at all with her behavior today.

“Thank you. “ With sincere gratitude in her eyes, the girl reached for the umbrella, and their fingers touched slightly. Suddenly Wednesday froze. This is how, according to Larissa's memories, the girl always began to have visions.

“Wednesday, is everything okay?” The woman asked anxiously, looking at the girl's changed face.

“Yes.” Snatching the umbrella from Larissa's hands, the girl opened the door and quickly jumped out of the car, not even bothering to say goodbye.

Before she could fully understand what was happening, the woman only saw the front door closing behind Addams.

A sudden flash of lightning, like a powerful searchlight, illuminated the car, and Larissa noticed the manuscript lying on the passenger seat. That's an impudent girl! Nevertheless, she managed to give her book to the woman. Of course, she won't read it, but it can't lie in the car, can it? After a little hesitation, Larissa still put the work of the young writer in her bag and, taking a deep breath with the thoughts that there would be enough adventures for today, the woman went home.

Taking off her shoes and coat, Larissa went straight to the shower to literally and figuratively wash off the remnants of the past day. The hot water made the woman think again about the frozen Wednesday, whom, despite her disgusting behavior, she wanted to warm up. Closing her eyes, Larissa imagined how she hugged a fragile figure, seductively emphasized by wet clothes, pressed closer to her, stroked her wet hair. Every curve of the young sexy body seemed to beg to be caressed. A sudden wave of arousal swept through the woman's heated body, which made her feel both pleasant and sad at the same time. As Wednesday said in her humiliatingly accusatory monologue, Larissa really hadn't had a woman for a long time making her heart beat pleasantly and her mind distract from the affairs of the academy. The only living thing that faithfully waited for Larissa from Nevermore every day was Donut. A black cat with a white breast in the form of a tie followed the woman immediately after being discharged from the hospital. Such a stereotypical life of a single woman over forty, whose entire thoughts and time were occupied the academy. This, in principle, was quite acceptable to Larissa. But after today's meeting with Addams Junior, who so openly threw the truth in her face, the woman realized that her life was not so rainbow. And to be honest, it's not rainbow at all. In frustration, Larissa opened cold water to cool her body from unexpected arousal, and her thoughts from introspection.

Wrapped in a snow-white bathrobe, the woman got out of the shower and went to the living room. After pouring the food to the cat, which immediately began to devour it appetizingly, Larissa took out a bottle of red wine and went to the sofa next to the fireplace. The only thing the woman wanted right now was not to think about anything or anyone. Quickly disposing of the wine stopper, Larissa poured the ruby liquid into a glass and took the first sip. A pleasant warmth instantly spread through her body, slowly leaving behind the worries of the past day.

Suddenly, the woman's gaze caught on the bag lying on the chair, from which the sheets of Wednesday's manuscript were treacherously sticking out. Deciding that today couldn't get any worse, the woman took the ill-fated manuscript out of her bag and returned to the sofa, where her furry friend was already waiting for her. Putting Donut on her lap, Larissa turned over the first sheet of the manuscript, on which, as promised Wednesday, her number was neatly written in Gothic numerals. Who would have thought that such an opponent of modern technology would ever have a phone. Without hesitation, the woman reached for her iPhone. Of course, she will not call or write to the girl. But just in case, there should be her number. Larissa quickly wrote down the numbers on her phone. For some reason she didn't want to write the obvious name Wednesday at all.

“Donut, how do we call the obnoxious girl?” Larissa gently stroked the soft fur of the cat, remembering how once, when coming up with a name for him, she longed for her favorite donuts, which she is strictly forbidden to eat in order to preserve her perfect figure.

Turning the first sheet of the manuscript in her hands once more, Larissa finally signed the soulless numbers with a playful smile and put the phone aside.

Going to the fireplace, the woman threw several small logs into it and, striking a match, lit a fire. Watching the dancing flames, Larissa turned her gaze back to the manuscript. After taking another sip of wine, the woman took the girl's work and, opening the black scorpion clip, pulled out several sheets from the pile. Wednesday will never know about it anyway. The woman was possessed by a simple human interest. After all, the girl was right that the book with such a title could really intrigue.

After reading the first two pages of the manuscript, Larissa grinned. How did Wednesday, with such an unconventional mindset, decide to go such a banal way and turn herself into a “precocious and fearless detective girl”, and Nevermore into a “closed private university for gifted students”?

“How ordinary, don't you think?” The woman stroked the satisfied Donut behind the ear and took the next sheet.

Knowing firsthand about Wednesday's magnificent fantasy, Larissa nevertheless decided not to jump to conclusions from reading several sheets and continued to plunge further into the fictional world of the girl.

***

As soon as the heavy door had closed, Wednesday Addams exhaled either with relief or disappointment. The sky-blue umbrella, exactly matching Larissa's eyes, was the only bright object in the dark and gloomy corridor of the old building. When her heart slowed down its unusually frantic rhythm a little, the girl wearily wandered up the spiral staircase to the third floor. Carefully holding the umbrella like the most expensive jewel in the world, Wednesday took a curly key out of her bag and opened the front door.

A small apartment with a bunch of antique furniture and rare collectibles seemed to have stepped off the pages of vintage magazines. To the left of the narrow hallway was a living room with a kitchen and a tiny oak bar counter, on which was a worn porcelain vase with snow-white roses, carefully left as a welcome gesture. Which, in Wednesday's opinion, was not necessary at all, because the obvious passion of the owner of the apartment, in addition to collecting antiques, were flowers. They were everywhere: clay pots stood on window sills, wicker planters hung from the walls, and the largest exhibits filled the unfurnished space on the floor. Which meant that the main condition for the girl's stay in this botanical garden was taking care of green “pets”. And Wednesday, without hesitation, volunteered to act as a diligent florist, because the wall-to-wall library of books with disheveled spines and a nearby record player with a huge collection of retro recordings simply melted the girl's cold heart. The only modern item in this antique shop was a television, staring lifelessly with its black screen at a soft ivory sofa.

Opening Larissa's umbrella and carefully placing it on the parquet floor in the hallway, Wednesday took off her soaked shoes and headed to a second and last room — the bedroom.

The bedroom was also small: a single bed, an antique desk-secretary and a double wardrobe — everything that could fit in it. But all this tiny constraint simply ceased to exist against the background of the stunning view of the majestic trees, their green crowns smoothly disappearing into the distance and finally completely merging with the horizon.

Wednesday froze in front of the window, in which now only the black blurred silhouettes of something gloomy and unknown could be distinguished. This picture was as if copied from her soul, with the only exception that until now the girl had not allowed wet tears to gush out from overflowing feelings. Feelings. Those damn feelings again! The girl recalled with pleasant nostalgia what she was like before that fateful day when Joseph Crackstone almost killed her, and the principal Weems almost died at the hands of Marilyn Thornhill. Almost. Of all the shocks in such a short Wednesday's life, death of Larissa can rightfully be called the most terrible and traumatic event. Even the death of her faithful scorpion friend Nero could not be compared in terms of the strength of emotional experiences. How could she, with her excellent analytical thinking, calculating everything in advance, not have foreseen a possible catastrophe? How could she, a misanthrope by nature with an overwhelming sense of justice, put the only person in the damn academy, who deserved her respect, in potential danger? And the main question that torments Wednesday is how she, the most insensitive of the entire Addams family, managed to fall in love with Larissa Weems so much?

In another bout of painful reflection that has become an integral part of her life, Wednesday pulled off her wet turtleneck and jeans and headed for the bathroom. Squeezing vanilla shower gel into her hand, the girl began to slowly massage her frozen body, washing away the traces of the passing day. But it was impossible to wash her away from either thoughts or memory. Only she, coming in dreams, and now in visions, is able to awaken in Wednesday such emotions and feelings, the existence of which the girl did not even suspect. What happened in the car was just a climax that miraculously did not cause a heart attack. When their fingers touched, Wednesday's eyes instantly flashed to alabaster skin with snow-white curls flowing over her shoulders, red lips parted in a sweet moan, naked breasts, heaving with every touch of the girl. Turning into the very quintessence of love, Wednesday and Larissa got to know each other's bodies, getting incomparable pleasure.

Putting her head under the water in a futile attempt to erase such pleasant, and at the same time such unreal memories, the girl instead of the desired relief felt only increasing arousal. With a disappointed sigh, turning off the faucet, Wednesday got out of the shower and looked at herself carefully in the mirror. There was a real blush on her dead white cheeks now, and her usually brown eyes had turned into huge black holes. It seems that the sex hormones that have been dormant for so long have finally woken up without even bothering to ask permission from Wednesday.

It all started with a nasty feeling of guilt, which gradually turned into a real fear: just when the girl had already come to terms with the nasty thought that she would never see Larissa in this world again, excited Enid announced that Weems had been taken by ambulance to Jericho Hospital. Then, inside Wednesday, there was almost a hysterics, masterfully hidden behind an expressionless face. Having mastered her unusual feelings a little, the girl decided to go to Larissa in the hospital and ask her for forgiveness. But the fear that the woman would blame her for the death for the rest of her life turned out to be stronger than the desire to clear her conscience. As a result, Wednesday just cowardly ran away from Jericho, from Nevermore and, most importantly, from Larissa's life.

However, the seemingly life-saving strategy failed to the nines. The more she tried to forget that fateful night and the dying Weems, the more she thought about it. Wednesday's entire existence was reduced to running in a closed sadomasochistic circle, in which she, like a squirrel in a wheel, ran for the long-awaited liberation, and it mercilessly fled from her.

This went on for almost a year, during which the girl managed, in infrequent breaks from the pangs of conscience, to deal with other areas of life that really require her close attention.

Wednesday categorically did not want to go to another school, but the prospect of being left without basic education was not encouraging at all. Having convinced her parents, not without problems, that she would certainly graduate, but at home schooling, the girl sat down to books and textbooks, sometimes even distracting from painful memories of Larissa. And already at the age of seventeen, Wednesday passed all the final exams necessary for obtaining a high school diploma, causing the envy of her peers who had never seen her and who were forced to sit at a desk for another year.

Wednesday naturally did not succumb to the persuasions of her parents to get a higher education right after school and decided to devote the next year to finding what she really wants to do. The girl had three outlets in her life: music, mysteries and books.

Playing the cello was rather a pleasant hobby, allowing at least to abstract from the unbearable thoughts about Larissa in her head. After the events in Nevermore, the girl could only imagine herself as a real detective, investigating mysterious crimes, on the pages of her exciting stories. But writing has been Wednesday's strongest and abiding passion since she learned to hold a pen.

With her boundless imagination, she will definitely become the greatest writer. Therefore, before her admission to Harvard University, and the girl had no doubt about it, she had to write a book. And not just a book. But something so brilliant that it would excite anyone who dared to touch her masterpiece.

The plan for the coming months has been determined. Now there was nothing to stop Wednesday from finally starting to put it into practice. The girl did not take into account only one and the most important thing — she cannot write about what did not touch her heart, and she tried to forget what really touched her heart in all ways.

Being introverted to the core, Wednesday did not want to discuss her innermost thoughts and experiences with anyone. But simply unable to deal with her worries and doubts on her own, the girl finally decided to talk to the only suitable candidate — Enid. For some reason, she wasn't so afraid to open up to her. And so one July evening, against all her rules, the girl took the phone, Xavier had given her, and called from it for the first time. There were the expected squeaks and squeals on the other end of the line, but after calming down a little, Enid still listened in silence to everything that had accumulated in Wednesday's soul. Her friend's only advice was the most obvious one — to talk about everything with Weems. To the categorical denial that followed the advice, Enid offered to write a letter, to which the girl also refused. To some extent, talking to the rainbow werewolf helped at least by the fact that now not only Wednesday was the keeper of a heavy burden, but the long-awaited relief still did not come. Until one terrible and at the same time beautiful dream, when her subconscious apparently decided to take pity on the girl and radically turned Wednesday's view of the situation.

The girl always arrogantly laughed at her classmates in love and was cynical about any manifestation of raging teenage hormones. After all, she knew for sure that she would die alone, having experienced neither love, nor tenderness, nor affection. And she didn't regret it at all. Even Jericho's most prominent boys couldn't make her heart beat faster. The girl just accepted that she was not born for feelings, emotions and love. But one single dream made the girl reconsider her well-established ideas about herself. Once again, she found herself in Weems' office and wanted to apologize to her, but instead of an unpleasant conversation, Larissa took the girl's hand with an encouraging smile on her face. At that moment, Wednesday's heart began to beat at the speed of light, and her stomach began to twist pleasantly. That's probably how people feel when they talk about butterflies. The warmth that spread through my body instantly calmed her thoughts, destroyed her fears and defeated her anxiety. She didn't want to do anything, but just hold Larissa's hand and look into her bottomless blue eyes. Clearly feeling that the limit of her emotions did not end there, the girl tore herself away from the woman's hand and touched her red lips with her fingers, and at that moment Wednesday realized what arousal was. Real sexual arousal.

When she woke up, she just couldn't believe that she could really feel this. But a surprising relief finally appeared in Wednesday's soul. As if now she understood the real reason why Larissa constantly owns her thoughts. These are exactly the experiences that classics wrote so beautifully about in their novels, and classmates discussed so vulgarly in class. The fact that the first time the girl had experienced such feelings for a woman twice her age and the former principal did not bother her at all. Wednesday was only bothered by the very presence of these feelings. Is a cold heart really not that cold? While the girl digested the sudden discovery, dreams with Larissa became more and more explicit and intimate: sometimes they are in Weems’ office and chatting sweetly about some nonsense in chairs in front of the fireplace, then the blonde gently strokes her hair, telling the girl how special she is, then Wednesday, sitting on Larissa's lap, whispers vanilla, for God’s sake, words, hot breath blowing over alabaster skin. The kiss that followed all this obscurantism just knocked the girl out of her rut. Her only real kiss with Tyler was nothing compared to it. With him, Wednesday kissed the wall. Cold and rough. The kiss with Larissa made the girl experience the whole range of unusual, but terribly pleasant emotions in seconds: from incredible tenderness to animal arousal. And now Wednesday finally began to understand her parents, who kissed each other nonstop for days on end. After all, she also wanted to kiss Larissa all day long.

After another such dream, Wednesday clearly understood two things: besides hatred in all living things, she has other feelings, and she was in love with Larissa Weems.

This realization only complicated the girl's already difficult life. Work on the book has never started, because all Wednesday could think about now was the beautiful Larissa with her seductive red lips and insanely delicate alabaster skin. So soft and warm. The very thought caused cognitive dissonance in the girl. How could she, who loves cold so passionately, want human warmth with the same passion? But not any warmth. But only Larissa's warmth. Her hot lips and kisses.

And finally, one rainy evening, remembering a conversation with Enid, it dawned on Wednesday how her two problems could be solved at once. She will apologize to Weems and tell her about her emotions in great detail, describing everything she has lived, without saying anything. And Larissa will definitely listen to her, even without listening to the girl. The main thing is to think through the sequence of actions correctly.

Now it was just a small matter to start writing the book, and with the successful implementation of her plan, all the problems would be left behind, and she could safely pack up at Harvard University, where Wednesday would show all the narrow-minded teachers what it means to be a truly talented writer.

The main plot of Wednesday's book was built around Nevermore Academy and the events experienced there. Of course, it was not possible to describe everything realistically using real names, appearances and passwords. After all, the entire academy with its inhabitants was a sealed secret for ordinary Normies. If a pretentious inscription appears on the cover — “based on real events” — this, without any doubt, will bring great popularity to the debut work. But the girl never looked for easy ways. Therefore, revealing the true state of affairs in the academy for the sake of the success of the book is definitely not her way. Having slightly changed the names, the whole story, nevertheless, has retained its primeval, atmospheric and original plot.

A typewriter, a stack of sheets of paper, melancholic music and a huge mug of quadruple espresso have become Wednesday's loyal friends for the coming months. Exhausted both physically and mentally, the girl, however, was already anticipating the approaching relief, which did not come because of the last chapter. Unfortunately, she can’t to come up with anything. A bunch of denouement options through critical reading an hour later suffered death in the form of crumpled paper lumps in the trash: either the ending seemed too implausible to her, then it became too vulgar, then, for God’s sake, too vanilla-snotty. Having already despaired of writing the last chapter, Wednesday finally realized how her book would end.

Satisfied with a sudden enlightenment, the girl began to engage in her second, no less interesting hobby — investigation. With good wit, and the girl has plenty of that, and a competent comparison of facts, you can find out about anyone anything.

The plan to investigate Larissa Weems' personal life has officially begun.

The fact that Larissa preferred the fairer sex was beyond doubt for anyone. Everyone subconsciously felt that she just couldn't have a man. Any man would feel like the most worthless and helpless creature on the planet next to such a powerful woman. Wednesday was sure that despite her magnetic beauty and sexuality, none of the men even dared to ask Weems out on a date. And Larissa obviously didn't need it. The problem with procreation for a woman was not a problem at all: her whole life revolved around the academy with a bunch of “children”, and there was no point in having her own child, so that he would constantly sit with nannies while the workaholic Larissa once again pacifies a raging werewolf or saves a victim of his own powers from accidentally petrifying — a gorgon.

To back up the obvious facts, the first thing that came under the distribution, of course, was Wednesday's mom. With whom the girl, surprisingly, became very close. Apparently, love really changes people and makes them behave atypically. And so, having chosen the perfect moment, Wednesday herself made Morticia to tell the story of Weems' life. According to mom, after graduating from Nevermore, Larissa was in a relationship with a hippie girl from France for a long time. But, in the end, the freedom-loving nature of the Frenchwoman and the windy character took their toll, and the girl drove off with her friends to surf the vast expanses of America.

However, Wednesday clearly felt that Morticia was not telling her something, but she was afraid to even ask, because she was sure that she would hear confirmation of her own guesses.

The second in this detective game was Uncle Fester. He was the only family member who never asked questions, thanks to seven lobotomy sessions. A day later, there was already a stack on Wednesday's desk with the address of Larissa's apartment, the state of current affairs at the academy, and even a list of the best Nevermore students. The woman's minute-by-minute daily routine simply screamed about the absence of any love interest in her life.

Everything was going perfectly and according to plan. Having collected everything necessary and most importantly — her book — Wednesday, accompanied by Larch, headed to the train station to finally meet the ghosts of the past and finally make peace with them. Or completely quarrel

So far, it looked more like the latter option. Wednesday looked at herself in the mirror once again and took a deep breath. Her nervousness and, as a result, inability to use tactful phrases, almost immediately crossed out the opportunities for a normal dialogue. Who pulled her tongue to say that Larissa is lonely, and her whole life revolves exclusively around the academy? It was cruel by all standards. Reflection, love, pity. How many more hidden feelings can the fatal Larissa Weems reveal in her?

Splashing icy water on her face, Wednesday turned off the bathroom light and returned to the bedroom. What to do now — the girl did not come up with. But a small hope that Larissa would read her book nevertheless warmed her soul. Pulling on her underwear, barely covering her rounded charms, Wednesday lay down in bed and stared out the huge window, which was now black. As if hypnotized, Wednesday peered into the darkness of the night to quickly find herself in the long-awaited embrace of Morpheus, but for some reason immediately found herself in the warm embrace of beautiful Larissa Weems.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Have I fallen down the Try Guys drama hole? 

Yep.

But damn. Ned “My Wife” Fulmer, cheating on said wife with one of his production assistants, as if that wouldn’t eventually put the company he is probably part-owner of at risk for a sexual misconduct lawsuit is wild. He thought nothing of how his wife would feel, or how his actions would affect his friends and coworkers at the company he helped create.  

Of course he got fired. There wasn’t any other option. Any way you look at this, this is the cleanest, least painful way to handle this.

If they’d kept him and Alex they would have lost fans in droves.

If they’d kept him and fired Alex, she could have sued for wrongful termination and/or sexual misconduct. And lost fans in droves. 

I don’t know if they’ve let her go as well, but you know what? Good for the other three guys and the rest of the company. 

When you build parasocial relationships with your fans and they find out it is a lie, there are going to be consequences. And I’m not talking about cancellation on Twitter. I’m talking about lost subscriptions and views. They make bank on those Youtube videos. They were popular enough to score a real television show. 

A lot of people are comparing this to what happened with John Mulaney, but as I think about this more, I wonder if Mulaney is the correct corollary to Fulmer. 

Mulaney is a comedian. He spins yarns and tells stories and jokes on a stage. Did the internet take them as fact? Sure. Did he present them as fact for his stage shows? Yes. Did he do so strictly because they were the base for some very funny jokes? Yes. 

And Mulaney is still working, though less popular than he was. Because comedians blur the truth for a laugh all the time. Was it right to do so and exploit those parasocial relationships? Probably not. Is this what comedians have been doing for a long time? Yep. 

But Fulmer brought fans literally into his home and his life. He created a space  that made his wife and children apart of his narrative and his parasocial relationships as a lifestyle brand. Because that’s what Ned’s function in the Try Guys really was. 

Look at the way the videos break down. Eugene’s solo videos often tackle inclusivity and culture, and sometimes civic duty. Keith’s go for music and comedy and food. Zack often goes for education on disability and chronic illness.

Ned’s were lifestyle.

The home redesign. The cookbook. The baby videos.  

However true that persona used to be, it no longer is, and now all of his previous videos ring completely false. No one wants to watch someone gush over their wife who turned around and cheated on his wife. 

So yeah, letting Fulmer go quickly and decisively was the correct move.

[1solone]

This is probably going to tick some people off, and I hope it does. But I’m going to keep on sharing it and saying it. And once again, I am not a Swiftie, but I am a human being, a Dad AND, a Monstrous Football fan.

I am extremely disappointed in so many of you who think that "not being a fan" of someone means you're entitled to shit all over them.

I want to remind you of something.

Your children are watching you complain about Taylor Swift sitting at a football game, being happy, and cheering for a man she loves in what appears to be a very loving, respectful relationship.

Your Children are watching you judge a woman for literally just EXISTING and taking up space happily.

And you know what? Ms. Swift has won 324 awards? How many do you have?

She brought $5 BILLION dollars in consumer spending and boosted the U. S. economy so significantly, that leaders from other countries actually beg for her to play there?

Did you know that there are over 20 college courses about her skills as an artist, lyricist, and musician - including at places like Harvard, Stanford & UC Berkeley?

Did you know that Taylor Swift quietly donates mass amounts of money to local food banks in every city she performs in?

AND DID YOU KNOW …

That Taylor Swift was sexually assaulted by a radio DJ, and she got him fired? When he sued HER for over $3 million for defamation, she counter sued for a symbolic $1 in a court case that took 2 YEARS for her to win. And, she did that just to show women that fighting for what's right has no price tag & to never be silent in the face of oppression.

WELL IF YOU DON’T CARE BY NOW, YOU SHOULD.

Because your daughters, nieces, and your nephews are watching you run your mouth. And they are seeing the world hate a woman who does so much good, simply because she exists in their line of sight.

DO BETTER PEOPLE.

Teach your boys to respect women. Teach your girls that as women - they are ALLOWED to take up space.

Fix it. Become aware of your words. Because we all have the ability and the obligation to fight for the future of our children with simple moments. And we need to consciously choose to be better for them.

[akria23]

Suspect / Character Chart Update:

Nobody:

So this week’s episode moved us off the path of Nuth as he claimed that Nant committed suicide - including some possible flashbacks of the body. This moves my Nobody theory - specifically Nobody: Theory A into sus rank 1.

Do I believe that Nant committed suicide tho? No I’m not convinced yet. I do think he’d have a lot of reasons for suicide - which I pointed out the first time I posted - but there’s so many questions left with that option. Where’s the body? Did nuth hide it? Why? What about a suicide note - not everyone leaves one but it seems strange of Nant in particular to not want to get out to his brother what he’d never been able to say while living.

I do think this does move up other aspects of the Nobody theory tho - they confirmed debt collectors so maybe Nant faked his death & went into hiding, or they harmed him. We still have the possibility of psychological break & Nont and Nant being the same person who just suffered a traumatic experience or drug usage that caused a break in his psyche - I still don’t want this the most but I can see it being this cause it is the safer route to end us off with.

Nuth:

Nuth has moved down in the ranks to the number 2 spot. Hes not lower because while he claims that Nant ruined his life and committed suicide all of his flashbacks of Nant so far hasn’t shown Nant be violent or harmful towards him. He’s pictured supportive, sexualized, and a hurt Nant. That’s not to say Nant couldn’t have harmed him or even made his life worse - it’s just a possibility that Nuth isn’t a reliable source even his flashbacks. We’ve seen him have hallucinations so it’s difficult to say what he recalls or sees as 100 proof of things happening or have happened.

Also…did they ever tell us what the bloody hand print was from… If Nant was selling drugs to pay his debt is it the same ppl Nuth is selling for? Theres also these lines or cages placed over Nuth sometimes and I’m not sure if it’s metaphor for criminality or a metaphor for how trapped he feels. There’s still one of two threads they can pull and circle back around to it being Nuth so he stays on the list.

Prom:

It’s still all vibes no evidence. He doesn’t slip, he doesn’t miss. He’s almost the perfect specimen partner wise in the sense that he has an ability to read Nont in a way no other does. He’s not overbearing, or controlling. He doesn’t try to change Nont’s mind after boundaries are set. Anything Nont says he needs or wants, Prom goes along with - an active supporter (plotting, research, giving him the weapon). But that’s the thing, Nont is more honest with him than he is with any other characters - and he has to see the frayed edges but he doesn’t pull Nont back at all. He enables…he’s supporting his descent.

The question I’m lost on is why. Maybe it’s empathy, relatability- I too am sadistic in my way, I too have rage, I wanna kill someone - and because he’s so good at repressing he admires & desires Nont who doesn’t repress who just acts and reacts. And this is what makes them revenge lovers.

But there’s still always that niggle at my brain that reminds me that Prom inserted himself and then had had influence over the case ever since. The show is always highlighting something off when Prom is in the mix - the music change, the aesthetic of the room, the way they position his def in scenes at the Playboyy with Aob & Puen (which I’m sure is to show us how he’s a source that benefits from the competing nature). He still feels like an invisible hand, still feels like he’s playing chess and seeing moves ahead of his lover. There’s so much mystery surrounding him still that’s it’s difficult to move him off the suspect board.

Porsche:

I still can’t tie Porsche into his death so he stays at number 4 ranking but I still wonder if his sugar daddy had anything to do with Nant that would’ve set them into a competitive nature for his resources and therefore enemies…that’s my mind working theories from what the story has given us thus far tho.

[28dayslater]

good evening to you all and welcome to cockmojo where tonight we will be counting down my personal top ten terror cocks

those unaffiliated with footyblr may be unfamiliar with the term cock as it’s being used here: all will become clear in time

special mention before we start to the netsilik hunter (sexy man, deserved a name and some screentime) james clark ross but only in the first episode when he’s all rugged and his beard’s grown out, and mr blanky, who, much like knife dad, fuccs like a broken train but he runs on time if you know what i mean

in a very respectable tenth place finish, billy gibson. i didn’t see the vision until 1. it was pointed out to me that he looks a lot like pau torres, who is himself very cockable, and 2. i rewatched the scene where he breaks up with hickey. known shagger, massive hater, a very pointy nose, he’s scraped a place on this list.

a surprise entry at ninth is john irving. inarguably cute in a sort of late 2000s british indie band bassist way, and while i’m not sure i could fix him (he probably needs a man for that) i do think i would have fun trying. ultimately he’s not higher because he’s kind of annoying and his eyebrows piss me off.

representing the dilves at eighth is doctor macdonald. he’s entrancing to me he has this vibe of like gentle paternal indulgence... like even if you were annoying he’d be very fond of you. and i need that. when he said “i’d like to run that man through” and rubbed his eyes and looked so tired, i really felt something. the crow’s feet, the widow’s peak, the hair, yes!!

doing it for the feminists, in seventh we have harry goodsir. the loveliest guy on the expedition until he goes nastymode, and i’m fully on board with both versions. this picture was chosen for a reason and it’s bc his long curly hair full beard miserable expression era was simply unbeatable. unfortunately, and this is maybe the most insane thing i’ve ever said about a man, or at least top ten, when his half eaten corpse was laid out face down, and it had noticeable back hair, i got the ick. just to add insult to injury :/

i’m as surprised as you are that he’s not higher, number six, james fitzjames! he is my pretty pretty princess. nails, hair, hips, heels. high femme queen in his cunty little outfits ordering the men around. i want to brush his hair, one hundred strokes minimum. i think this is less sexual than some others on this list, it’s more appreciation. but my god do i appreciate him.

stay alive, number five, it’s thomas jopson. most beautiful haunted doll in the arctic, but that pretty face is covering up a seriously compelling #WeirdGuy underneath. all the shiny hair in the world can’t hide an obsession with his boss that in the modern era would be getting him a very serious meeting with HR. what a character, servicetopson you rock my world. but at the end of the day he loses points because i hate the beard. garrigan looks great with a beard in other stuff, i really don’t know why the scurvybeard was so foul. terror hair and makeup department GET IT TOGETHER. 

number phwoar, henry collins is here! he’s big he’s sweet he’s deeply mentally unstable he needs a cuddle and we’ve all seen that gif of him in aliens. would love to make him a really nice cup of tea (seems like a two sugars man), pet his hair as he rests his head in my lap, then fuck up my hip flexors. 

and now... we enter our top three. who’s made it to the prestigious cock podium?

first up, the winner of our bronze cock medal, which presumably he’ll be flogging for an unreasonable price to someone he’s assured it’s solid gold, “cornelius hickey”! people will bitch and moan about how he’s a violent lunatic who’s killed people like i’m not a cuti romero stan 🙄 i can see beyond that, my third eye is firmly open. the potential for a fun toxic relationship is absolutely off the charts bc that’s the only kind he has. and he’s very pretty when he cries. i can forgive a lot of crimes for a man whose nose entrances me.

in second place, such a close runner up, i have to award this honour to edward little. a pedestrian choice, you might think, if you don’t know the lore. i couldn’t fully explain my feelings towards this secondary character who’s not especially exciting on first watch when i started the show until i googled his actor... although i lacked the words to express this at the time i was cocking this man when i was 13 and he first appeared in misfits with a stupid neck tattoo and a horrible suit, and i cock him again now. this is a cock that’s followed me all my life, even though i forgot he existed for about a decade in between. who else can truly say they’ve EARNED a spot on my list like he has? he’s sad, he’s sopping wet, i could make him cry extremely easily. mwah

and finally...

number one. it had to be him, it was always going to be him. solomon tozer, take a bow and i’ll take ten cranberry pills. sol is thee top cock for so many reasons and chief among them is versatility. whatever you need he can be it. handsome soldier boy in a fancy red uniform that shows off his trim little waist? COCK! hostile violent mutineer throwing his life away in a rebellion? COCK! broken man inducted into a cult who cries about it? COCK!!! sexiest man in the damn arctic i know he was beating the boys off with a stick. there is a certain level of sexiness a man can reach where nothing he does is an ick, and i knew he’d reached that for me once i saw him in that insanely stupid hat at sir john’s funeral and didn’t give a fuck. call him tom jones the way he can leave his hat on. keep thotting it up in heaven/hell king i miss you every day. i know it was huge. my heart hurts.

[rocketturtle4]

Why Kawi Felt Inentionally Ace Coded

This is the second post I am making about this show for this week, the first was about what I think went down around time travel in this ep and I will directly reference those theories.

Also I just think the way this episode was playing with flash forwards and backs (with both Piseang’s conversation with his mum AND Max’s convo with Kawi – ALSO A FLASHBACK FYI) is VERY INTENTIONAL. (for the purpose of keeping us both in and out of the loop)

Okay so, for the record I really didn’t plan to actively engage in BMF this week, I am mid spiral on an entirely different TV show and this show did not have my full focus while I watched it this morning.

HOWEVER

This moment

[Image ID: Kawi saying "Do you think it's possible for two people dating to have no sexual activity at all]

Took my attention and kept it, I was yelling and I made 2 quick reaction posts about the fact that I was yelling (1, 2)

I will add here that @dropthedemiurge posted about Kawi being definitely ace coded LAST WEEK (I couldn't find it sorry but I remember reading it) as well as this week 2 and @heretherebedork had two different posts about this this week.

Also there is legit evidence for this being about touch starvation and intimacy issues (@shouldiusemyname) and if they do this well I wont be mad but…

It Felt VERY ACE CODED To me

And it felt a bit smack in your face ace coded in a way that to me was throwing up giant WE ARE GOING THERE flags. These flags, to me, were primarily in the LANGUAGE that was used more than Kawi’s physical body langue (which was more ambiguous between the two theories), and this is even trickier because of the layers of translation involved.

So lets talk about those flags

(Also I’m demisexual and demiromantic so my own lens is definitely colouring my view)

Max’s convo with Kawi

I actually loved this convo FOR Max’s response, not because he responded well (if Kawi is ace) but because he DIDN’T respond well. This show is doing a really good job of allowing it’s characters to be flawed and I reckon both Max and Piseang got to be flawed in this episode.

Max has been our gay Yoda

Max has been on point with all his advice

Kawi and Piseang are together in part due to Max’s advice,

But do you know what else Max is?

A 20 YEAR OLD

Max isn’t the person Kawi needs to talk to in this moment, because Kawi’s experiences are no longer aligning with his, and all of his advice thus far has been based on HIS OWN EXPERIENCE (which he literally says by the way):

[Image ID: Max speaking while the subtitles translate the start of his sentence as "Personally,"]

Kawi’s language in this convo was REAL SUS

On top of the first line pictured above, their conversation includes

Max: You’ve already crossed the line, what are you afraid of?

Kawi responds

[Image ID: Kawi saying "I'm not afraid. I just don't think it's that significant."]

Then we get Maxs scoff (SCOFF!!): "Right, The word from someone who’s never had sex"

And his positive take on how important sex is for a relationship and an Individual

And the implication that doing it with someone you love is even better

Then

Max: Are you going to sleep next to each other holding hands forever?

[Image ID: Kawi saying "That's good." with an acesexual black, grey, white and purple flag added to the image]

@sparklyeyedhimbo I like the flag one so I borrowed it.

Then Max points out that it will only work out if Piseang feels the same way.

my thoughts:

Max is very dismissive of Kawi in this convo, there is a real disconnect with Kawi’s tentative questions and Max’s certain responses. Again I THINK THIS IS INTENTIONAL as per above. (For anyone who wants to check again its part 3/4 from around the 2 minute mark)

Kawi doesn’t seem afraid, he seems genuinely confused about not wanting sex. And personally, I’ve BEEN THERE.

Back in the bedroom

Now here we get some fear as Kawi finds condoms, panics and pretends to sleep.

Something I find interesting about this is he doesn’t pretend to sleep facing away from where Piseang would lie or curled up, he is still placed fairly centrally on the bed. His body language isn’t overly defensive (in my uninformed opinion). Now this could just be that he trusts Piseang regardless but I wanted to point it out.

[Image ID: Piseang standing at the foot of the bed look at Kawi apparently asleep in bed]

Then Piseang Time Travels (Full clown, I’m committed)

(I just watched the scene again and Kawi opens his eyes and we don’t see Piseang while the music plays, this scene is legit from Kawi’s point of view and we’ve already seen that the travel isn’t visible to the person not holding the magic globe so I AM EVEN MORE CERTAIN)

Anyway back to this post

Piseang goes to bed and looks at kawi like this

[Image ID: Piseang staring at Kawi]

(I’m just putting this here and choosing to interpret it as weighted with future knowledge lol)

Which post is this again?

Ah yes Ace!Kawi

So we get bed in the morning and Kawi pretending to sleep and then Piseang goes

[Image ID: Piseang rolls to lie on top of Kawi]

And Kawi informs him that he’s heavy.

There’s no recoil

There’s no fear

Until

[Image ID: Piseang says "Would you like to get on top instead then?"]

Even then he’s startled more than scared in my humble opinion

Until Piseang tries to kiss him

[Image ID: Kawi making a very surprised/scared face]

Then Kawi pushes him off and leaves

Piseang continues to try and encourage intimacy

HOLD ON I HAVE A SECOND CLOWN THEORY ABOUT THE FUTURE

(I’m less convinced about my projections for what happens in the future, Piseang looks so content, maybe he just get’s a glimpse of domestic bliss…It needs to be next week already. FOR THE RECORD I’m sticking with clown theory 1 if I have to choose).

We get this moment

[Image ID: Two images of Kawi as Piseang wipes something off the corner of his mouth and Kawi's expression goes from anger to something softer]

And Kawi’s change of experession here is so tender, I feel like this could be coded either way intimacy issues or strong romantic feelings, it’s not lust though that’s for sure. (I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be using coded for intamacy but *shrugs*)

(oooo I wonder if the language play came from his glimpse into the future)

I’m going to skip ahead to the theme park or this will go forever

The bits in between feel more ambiguous to me

THESE LINES FELT SUPER ACE CODED

[Image ID: Piseang saying "If you just wanted to eat, why did you ask me to take you to a theme park? then Kawi saying "I just wanted to get the vibes. The thing that can make me the happiest is eating"]

Food over sex is a legit part of the ace community (the same way tucked in shirts and clear phone cases are part of the bi community from what I understand)

[Image ID: Kawi still saying "The thing that can make me the happiest is eating" now holding up a corn cob]

(If Kawi had held up cake here I would be ALL IN)

Then we get the rollercoaster metaphor!

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang both looking at the rollercoarster, Piseang looks excited Kawi looks concerned/apprehensive/is making a woah face]

I’m just going to transcribe here it’s quicker and I’m running out of time before I go out tonight:

K: This is too much. Not this ride

P: Come on, Let’s try it first

K: No, I don’t like it.

P: You haven’t tried it yet. How do you know if you like It or not. You said you’d never been to a theme park.

P: If you don’t try it, it’s the same as if you’ve never been here

e.g. Coming to a theme park isn’t the same as enjoying the ride

Then P holds out his hand

P: If you’re scared, just hold onto my hand, Okay?

[Image ID: Kawi looking at Piseang]

K looks at Piseangs hand, Looks at Piseang, Looks at the ride and says

K: No! I won’t get on it. You can go alone if you want to. I’ll just wait here

And walks off

[Image ID: Piseang looks disapointed]

This again felt to me like a rejection of the fear as the primary motivation, he directly says he’s not afraid but he still doesn’t want to

I’m not sure about this scene in the car, it mostly just felt like Kawi was fed up at this point.

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang in the car]

Possibly this scene highlights the different places there in and how Piseang is open to new experience and Kawi’s not? This feels more intimacy coded than ace.

Restaurant Scene

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang looking tired in the restaurant]

Both Kawi and Piseang look so worn out in this scene, they both spent the whole day not communicating their true wants and fears and it’s left them all worn down

But Piseang doesn’t give up

[Image ID: Piseang saying "Whatever I did wrong today, you can tell me." and Kawi responding "Today was great."]

Kawi responds to this sincerity and reaches out to hold Piseang’s hand.

KAWI is the one WHO REACHES OUT, again this reads as specifically felt to me as a reason against touch starved.

[Image ID: Two images of Piseang and Kawi holding hands in the restaurant]

And then we’re in the bedroom (time skip anyone).

I’m actually not going to analyse this scene at all much. If Kawi is ace then he can still choose to have sex provided he and Piseang have communicated and if it’s intimacy issues then I also think it’s okay provided they’ve communicated first. ( idon't actually currently think Kawi is demi for the record)

(even when Piseang takes his shirt off, Kawi’s eyes stay on Piseangs face)

(although Piseangs do too actually…)

[Image ID: Two images of Kawi and Piseang after they have removed their shirts staring at each other. The first image contains the subtitle of Piseang saying "are you sure?"

(god his eyes are so big here compared to their often squintiness)

He doesn’t pull back but leans into the kiss. He’s clearly sure of his decision. I’m just not sure about his reasons.

[Image ID: Piseang and Kawi kissing]

Both Piseangs hands are on Kawi, but Kawi’s hands are straight down, I think this could go with either theory but personally on the few occasions I’ve made out with someone “what do I do with my hands?” loops in my head lol so I found this relatable.

Make of this what you will!!

Thoughts on Kawi and Kissing Piseang while he’s drunk

Honestly this doesn't feel weird to me, romantic attraction can involve kissing and drunk!kawi is just giving in to his confused thoughts and feelings, Aesthetic attraction can trick you too if you're not aware of your own identity (lol I had sex with someone before I experienced sexual attraction for the first time and felt very confused about why I didn't really feel like doing it again after even though it had been a positive experience, It was WILD), Kawi kisses Piseang because he likes him and is then confused about Why TF it doesn't feel like it's "supposed" to, *shrugs* make of that what you will.

Additional Thoughts

I’m reading into past future events now but I wonder about Pear and Kawi’s relationship.

Did they have sex?

There was clearly something fundamentally wrong with it, and the show talks about Kawi prioritising work, but it’s all a bit ambiguous and we never got any impression of intimacy. The fact that Pear is pregnant and Kawi doesn’t question if he’s the father, how long have they been broken up? Why did Pear seek out Not in the first place? Did Pear assume Kawi was gay because they didn't have sex??

ALSO

The scene where Kawi stares at Piseang while he was sleeping (Ep 9) I'm not going back to find it now or this won't get posted for like another 14 hours but it also felt ace-coded but I shrugged it off.

ALSO I HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT LOL

(@lurkingshan and @clairificusrex since you helped with my thoughts)

[bookscandlesnbts]

Quick facts about me that no one asked for:

Figured since I’ve posted more here and answered some asks, I would share some facts about me on my blog both BTS/Jikook related and non related.

1.) I became ARMY during quarantine era. A friend got me into them. After I watched their MMA 2019 performance I was blown away. She was a Yoongi bias so that is whose content I initially watched and gravitated towards. When I ventured out on my own and watched more performance stages and Run BTS I knew immediately that I was drawn to Jimin. Everything from his stage presence, gorgeous vocals and dance lines, funny and sassy personality, but also super empathetic and caring. He was it for me and still is. But I do love all seven of them. I could probably rank them in order of my “favorites” but Jimin would be number 1 without a doubt.

***super fun fact is that I actually first was exposed to BTS in 2017 :( that’s right, I could have stanned back then. I frequently kind of kidding but not really refer to this as my biggest regret. An undergrad in my research group was obsessed with them. She showed me a clip of them dancing and probably because I didn’t like her that much (she was friends with someone toxic) I chalked it up as so they sing and dance? Who cares. I ended up reconnecting with her later when I stanned and found out that she was a low-key TKK shipper and loved reading their fanfics. By that point, I was already sus of Jikook so we clashed and I don’t talk to her. 🤣

2.) That brings me to point number two. The most important: Jikook. I wish I could remember the first time I was like yep this is a thing but I don’t. I do remember the first Jikook moment that I was exposed to was their Black Swan pas de deux. I remember finding their chemistry palpable and bold of them to perform a romantic dance together but that was it. The more I watched Run BTS and being a Jimin bias I couldn’t help but notice JK too and their closeness. What was the nail in the coffin so to speak? The cliches. GCF Tokyo and Rosebowl did it for me and I’ve been endeared by them ever since.

3.) I’m a sort of Jikook fanfic writer on A03 who I guess is on a hiatus and has been for awhile now. I love fanfiction and have been reading it and writing it a little since I was like 12. I was never a RPF girlie until BTS but I view them as characters in a story because that is what they are when I’m reading or writing fics. Not the actual people.

4.) I’m asexual and probably aromatic to some extent too. Asexuality is so misunderstood, I could go on about it for days, but I’m not the authority on it by any means. I like the idea of sex in the abstract. Fanfics, great. M/M where I don’t feel inserted in the act, even better. I’m not a prude, I just don’t experience sexual attraction. The idea of looking at someone even the tannies and wanting to fuck them makes me uncomfortable and it’s something I can’t relate to and have never felt. I’ve had sex of course, but it’s never lived up to the hype for me. I can definitely live without it. As far as being aromantic that I’m not sure. I love the idea of romance or I wouldn’t be so smitten with Jikook and other cute couples. I don’t actively seek romance in my life. I don’t date or want to date. I haven’t had a crush on someone in like 10 years. I’m not opposed to it. Their gender wouldn’t matter to me but it’s not something I feel like I need in my life. If you are anywhere on the ace spectrum or are LGBTQIA+, hi you are more than welcome here.

5.) I’m educated! I have a PhD in chemistry. I am on the Professor track and I teach organic chemistry. I spent 7 years in grad school combined for my masters and PhD.

So yeah! This way you know a little about me when you send in asks. I am terrible at formatting and use my phone only for Tumblr, so my blog probably won’t ever be pretty. I’m just here for connections and content that is more in depth than Twitter. Yes, I’m still calling it twitter. Sorry not sorry Elon.

[mrs-monaghan]

regarding to the question about km’s sexualities. i’d like to share my opinion, if you are not against it, i just wanted to rant, and its totally okay if you are not gonna post this, i just had to get it off of my chest yk, haha

so, imo, jimin is bi and he was silently screaming about it since 2015-2016, and his photofolio is a tiny coming out. but, i think he is a bi with male preference? like yeah, he CAN fall in love with woman, but he prefers men more (especially one particular man). and yeah, there are a lot of bi people craving for “normalcy”, so they try to choose the safest option — opposite sex partner, but. if you are head over heels and madly in love with someone already (which is jimins situation with jungkook, i assume) you won’t change the love of your life for a safety. it reminds me of how troye sivan said “gave up heaven so we could be together” tbh, because i think jimin is willing to take a risk just to be with jungkook and spend his life with him

and if we come to jungkook, then i’m pretty sure he is gay. i told that to a lot of people and usually they say shit like “have you SEEN jungkook?” or “his ideal type is iu”, like how dumb can people be..? first of all, his looks has nothing to do with his sexuality. he can wear black and be gay, or wear pink and be straight. “iu ideal type” thing is just so funny, when we are literally talking about a man, who described his ideal type as someone with muscles. (and correct me if im wrong, but jungkook said that when jimin was all big with muscles, and when jm became more pale, cute and wasn’t into that “masculine looks”, jungkook said his type is someone who is cute, even without an aegyo and some other stuff that literally screamed “jimin is my type”. isn’t this a lil sus, lmao).

and i’m not saying that they are queer just because i’m a jikooker and i’m sure that they have a thing with each other, but because they both have beated straight allegations yeaars ago.

so yeah, in conclusion: jikook are queer and they are the loves of each other’s lives, thanks for coming to my ted talk!!

All of this anon. All of fucking this. You've put it perfectly.

Can we for a second talk about the different reactions here?

Tweet

Jimin and JK watching Hwasa (love her!) and you're gonna sit there and tell me JK is straight?

He had a bigger reaction with Normani or was it Chloe at the AMAs? Anyway my point is while Mimi looks like he's enjoying the show, JK couldn't care less about Hwasa and her perfect cocacola bottle body. 🤭🤭 But yeah, sure. JK straight. Okay 😂😂

[specialinterestshows]

The wlw Rhea Ripley fans have spoken, and I shall deliver. The first part of what will likely be a continuing Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic for a bit because I have no clear or even vague idea how to end it

Warnings for this section: Mention of alcohol, cannabis (weed), social/crowd anxiety

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 1/?): I Wanna Take You To A Gay Bar

Smoke escapes into the night air as you exhale. A soft, warm breeze makes the cloud dissipate as you bring the joint up to your lips again to take a long drag. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take much more to calm you down. You tried to avoid crowded, social spaces when you could, but a couple of your friends had convinced you to go to the newly-opened queer bar with them. “I guess it’s better than a straight bar,” was your defeated response, unable to argue with a friend who had recently gone through a bad breakup.

The moment you stepped into the bar, your anxiety began steadily increasing. It seemed like the city’s entire queer community was packed into the building; drinking, dancing, and enjoying the night. The cacophony of music and chatter made the bar seem all the more crowded as you followed your friends toward the only available bartender. You looked around at some of the women on the dance floor as your friends order and anxiously wondered if any of your exes were there. After downing your water, you let your friends know you’re going to get some air before pushing past several people to get to the door that let out into the alleyway. Now here you were, cursing the fact that you only brought the one joint to what was already a far more popular bar than you had bargained for.

A loud burst of music and chatter hit your ears as the bar door swung open, depositing an angry-looking woman into the alley. Swinging back around at the door, she kicked it closed with a grunt. Pushing her dark hair out of her eyes, she notices you for the first time. You try to put on what you really hope is a harmless smile that conveys you don’t intend to anger her further and give a little wave.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there,” the familiarity of the Australian accent catches you off-guard.

“No worries,” you pretend to be casual in case this was someone you’d met already, not wanting to deal with more social awkwardness than necessary if she realized you didn’t remember, “I’m sure that door had it coming.”

You re-light the joint you had instinctively put out earlier in response to the sudden noise. The woman sighs and leans against the wall next to you, “It’s not the damn door, it’s…” she watches you take a hit, “Can I have a bit?”

“Sure,” you hand her the joint - it looks like she needs it. You fidget with the hem of your skirt as she takes a hit and you try to remember where you might know her from, “So what’s wrong?”

She hands the joint back and you place your mouth carefully around the black lipstick now smudged on one end as she sighs again, letting out a steady stream of smoke, “My boyfriend is in there hitting on some fucking twink,” she kicks a nearby rock.

You cough despite not having inhaled very much. Whatever you thought you were about to hear, it wasn’t that. Noticing your confusion, she places her open palm in front of you, “Let me have some more of that and maybe I’ll tell you about it.”

Another big hit and she starts explaining, letting smoke come out as she spoke, “So we got together, blah blah blah, it was good, y’know?” - another hit from the joint - “Then one night, he sees me checking out this gorgeous woman and the next thing I know we’re in an open relationship so I can ‘explore my sexuality,’” - she flicks away some ash - “meanwhile he’s always known he’s bi, so he’s off chatting up men while I’m on the sidelines trying to figure out how to fucking flirt!”

She offers you the joint back but you shake your head, “Sounds like you need that more than I do.” It was starting to hit you a bit anyway, and you tried not to stare as the embers of the bud illuminated her features. Suddenly, a light floods out into the alley and the noise returns. You look over to see the silhouette of two of your inebriated friends peering out into the darkness. You call out an amused “Hey guys” in response to your name.

“Come dance with us!” they insist. You shake your head, “I love you guys, but I am NOT going back in there.”

“Ooo, she’s with someone!” one of your friends whispered loudly to the other, “Wait, is that…?”

“Shhh!”

The door slowly closes behind them as they duck back inside, “Isn’t that Rhea Ripley?”

You tried not to let the realization phase you, instead focusing on the relief that you definitely hadn’t met this woman before and didn’t have to keep worrying about remembering how you knew her. A dry cough brings you out of your thoughts and you look over to see Rhea flicking the roach in the general direction of a trash bin.

“Got any more?” she asked.

“Not on me,” the apology was evident in your voice, “There’s more at my place if- I mean you totally don’t have to- it’s just that I have a bong and-and-“

“Are you asking me over?” she seemed surprised.

“Yes?” You held your breath.

“Let’s go, then.”

[end part one of ?]

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/723407742373609472/absolute-smokeshow-part-2-i-call-shotgun

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #157

1. Hello, first of all thank you for all your hard work 🫶 really appreciate! I'm looking for a fic i read about a year ago: unfortunately i can't remember much, so i apologise if it's a vague description. I also think i might be mixing some facts with this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39533883 so i’m sorry if i’m making it hard to find. Trigger warning from here on (depression, su! c!de): the fic was set in the crowley's flat and the characters were canon (im pretty sure it was set a short time after S1's canon events, but somehow C still had holy water). Crowley had just suffered some sort of physical and emotional trauma (r@pe? sorry, i can't quite remember) and couldn't trust neither Aziraphale nor himself. He fell in a state of depression and couldn't see any other way out but use the holy water in his safe. (Spoilers) | remember a scene where he weakly walked to the safe and wrote a note, then tried to reach the thermos but was stopped last second by Aziraphale. Thank you in advance🫶; and if you manage to find it, congrats😅 - anon

2. Helloo I hope it's not too hard to find but I lost a fic on ao3 a bit ago I didn't finish reading and was hoping someone recognise it, it starts off with post apoca-nope Crowley being confronted by demons in his flat who tell him to stay away from aziraphale and summon a screen through which to view him. buuut since there was no audio they all missed a conversation between aziraphale and god in which god gives him a golden string (I think) and explains that metatron has been giving orders independently from god, then asks aziraphale to go to heaven and stirr up trouble. And that's when I accidentally closed the Tumblr app and lost it :( - anon

3. so theres this fic i was reading where its post canon but basically crozira gets locked up in heaven and crowley does his snake thing and releases them both (was in the beginning ish) but thats all i remember 😭😭 im sorry if this is too much to ask for, thank you in advance!!! - @stars-v3ria

4. Hello! I hope y'all are doing all right in what I imagine is a swamp of new asks from season 2's approach. (Writing this in the final few weeks til release.) I'm writing in search of a lost fic--I've scrounged through the Aziraphale's True Form tag but come up empty. It was T, M, or E rated, and more or less a true form sex fic, but may or may not have included genital sex. The part I remember (which I think was the focus of the story, it being a oneshot) was framed as a divinity/grace kink scene in which Aziraphale revealed his true form to Crowley. It was overwhelming to him (verging on pain iirc), but also very beautiful, intense, and possibly sensual or sexual. The part I really remember, though, came at the end-- Crowley, crying, used their safeword, which was "Amen." And after that I think it was more on the tender side. Would you happen to have encountered such a story? Thank you very much for your time, and potentially that of your followers-- I very much appreciate all the work you do for the fandom. <3 P.S. In case this reaches the author, and you with to remain anonymous, please know that the fic really stuck with me and I was merely searching for it in hopes of leaving a comment to that effect. &lt;3 - @elderly-worm

5. Hello! I was recently told about the (cursed) movie script and was told that there is a fanfiction of Book and Show Crowley saving movie Aziraphale from movie Crowley. The person said they're sure they read it on ao3 but cannot find it now and I'm extremely curious. Any help would be very appreciated and thank you so much for the library you're doing here, helped me to find a lot of gems. - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[ingravinoveritas]

Why are people begging for Anna and Georgia to be in GO?! I’m genuinely wondering why cause they don’t fit in their world and if they were there, it wouldn’t be the Ineffable Husbands anymore, it would just be like a family reunion. Also, people wanting the girls to show up in GO as lesbian lovers to each other?? When have they ever been seen or hinted at any sort of affection towards one another? Georgia can barely stand her and Anna is….. meh. Barely on social media except only to post one occasional thing of Good Omens and then disappears into the night. Neil asking if Dottie and Sadie should show up in the next season and people asking if Georgia and Anna can play them…. It’s ironic cause the question was if Aziraphale should have a beard in season 3 and Neil took it as beards, someone used as a romantic partner to cover up the others sexuality. Veryyy interesting to see. Do you think Neil saying Sadie and Dottie are beards and people mentioning Georgia and Anna to play them means something?

It's honestly difficult to know where to start with this, because I have also noticed the uptick in people campaigning for Georgia and AL to be in season 3, apropos of seemingly nothing at all. There seems to be an assumption that Georgia and AL have the same kind of chemistry as David and Michael, when nothing could be further from the truth. By Georgia's own admission, she barely knew AL when the first season of Staged was filmed, and the entire "best friend" dynamic between them was faked.

A few years later, you have Staged season 3, where Georgia dyed her hair red to differentiate herself from AL since everyone kept saying they looked exactly the same. You also have a clearly established "throuple" dynamic between Michael, David, and Georgia that AL Is not at all a part of (and has seemingly been specifically excluded from), and Georgia only engaging with AL on social media when there is something to promote (such as Staged 3 being released on the BBC, to give a recent example) or on posts related to "business" things (Georgia commented on AL's new headshots, but not on the post for Mabli's first birthday, to give another example). Not to mention AL copying Georgia's personality and posting style at every available turn, because she desperately wants to obtain the same level of clout that Georgia has in the fandom. (This, despite Michael seemingly having faded her from his social media/any sort of public connection to her entirely.)

(Also, none of this even touches on what I mentioned in this post, about the sheer audacity in suggesting that AL and Georgia could play Aziraphale and Crowley, respectively, or how insulting that is to Michael and David...)

Now, however, we have this whole "Dottie and Sadie" business to contend with, which is on a level of ridiculousness I'm not sure I knew existed. Context, for those who may not know: "Dottie and Sadie" refers to Aziraphale and Crowley's fictional wives, which Neil started alluding to as part of his exasperated answers to questions on Tumblr. They are not real characters and have nothing to do with the GO novel itself. But it seems the fans have taken the idea of AL and Georgia as Dottie and Sadie and run with it.

Anna (who apparently has also started copying Georgia's habit of searching her own name on Twitter) has now added to the discourse with this QT today:

I'm truly baffled as to how so many people don't seem to see this for the attention grab that it is. This is a clear attempt at remaining relevant, as well as her trying to push her way into GO season 3. Yet it's telling that the part she is seemingly lobbying for is for a character that doesn't even exist, and has no bearing on the GOmens universe whatsoever.

What also bothers me (and I've heard this from a few people who've DMed me as well) is that this very much comes across as "straight girl making out with a friend as a joke." For all we know, AL could be bi, but she has shared so little of herself/shown no outward support for the LGBTQ+ community as to make it impossible to determine. Also the last thing Michael and David have ever done is play what is between them/Aziraphale and Crowley for laughs, so the fact that their connection and experience with their own queerness is so genuine only makes this comment from AL look incredibly fake, and like she is trying to be a pale imitation of them.

But again...and perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious part of all this...is AL apparently missing the entire point that Dottie and Sadie are beards. By saying she wants to play such a role, she is reinforcing the idea that she is only there to make Michael look straight, and that that is the purpose of their relationship. For as calculated as all of her posts/replies are, this almost feels like her accidentally telling the truth in the midst of a bunch of nonsense. Like you said: Very interesting...

I have more thoughts on GO season 3/the casting of family members--Peter worked well in GO 2, Ty did not--to share in my forthcoming analysis of the second season (I'm rewatching all of the episodes right now just to get everything fresh in my mind, but I will start writing/turn Anons back on soon), so I will end this here. But those are my thoughts on all these recent developments. Just hoping that all the fandemonium (fan pandemonium) dies down and we can have an honest discussion about season 3 one of these days...