#Im so stupid I should've just done this from the beginning

[persephone-writes]

Moved from @persephone-writes2

I made a new account so I could actually like/follow/receive asks! So, this is where all future works will live!

My main account - @persephone-nymph

On the Streets of Coruscant: Part One, Part Two

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[anzulvr]

idrk how to request— BUT WHAT ABT READER AS HIS SPARRING PARTNER ?? above average strength but obv he would win though he ended up hurting u, what do u think would he do? LIKE DOES HE DISREGARD THE FACT THAT THEY'RE IN PHYSICAL ED AND JUST CARRY HER AND THEN WHOO—

Summary: Karma × Reader getting hurt while sparring// fluff 🎀// I luv him pls sorry this took so long it deleted 😭😭

❝ sect. 01 pre fight ❞

— There weren’t many reasons you got paired up with Karma in to begin with,

One: you begged Karasuma- (he said no)

Two: Korosensei pulled strings for you, only because you're his favorite couple. (You’re literally the only official couple in class so he doesn’t have many options to choose from but still.)

You were so sick of Karma going easy on you. You're just as capable as anyone else in class, sure you came into eclass with zero fighting experience but you've been progressing over time. Even then, he didn’t budge on his stance on not wanting to throw hits the times you were paired up.

Karma wasn't one to underestimate people, anyone who wanted a good fight could get one- he'll even offer them a head start but you're a different story.

He wouldn’t lay a finger on you even for class, wouldn't that make him a shitty boyfriend?

Anytime you spare he guides your hand, takes your hits and high-fives you if you do it right, he does anything but retaliate.

So much so Karasuma refuses to pair you up together because the most Karma will do is dodge.

Luckily today Korosensei managed to convince him.

You spend half the class time begging Karma to just throw a jab swearing up and down you could take it.

"You nearly broke Nagisas nose but you can't hit me once? I'm asking you it's fine!"

"That's different, that's Nagisa, you're you."

he dodges as you swing your anti-koro knife

"So what?! Are you saying Nagisa can take it but I can't?"

"[Name] you know that's not what I'm saying. I just mean I can cope with giving Nagisa a nose bleed, I don't want to hurt you."

you swing again, this time getting the side of his torso

Karma grabs your fist and yanks you towards himself

“Got you.” He sticks his tongue out

"Im not saying you have to go ballistic— I'm just saying you can put up more of a fight."

"Alright fine, but if you feel like I’m being too rough tell me to stop.”

“Deal!”

❝ sect. 02 aftermath❞

— You should've kept your end of the deal but you didn't say anything cause he’d feel bad. The pain all over your leg and thigh was killing you.

He hadn’t even hit you — he kept tripping you over and over again, in his mind it was pretty harmless but enough of a jab to keep you happy except it wasn’t harmless you kept biting your tongue every time you fell on a rock and it burned even harder than the last time.

He didn't notice until you struggled to stand up and he saw blood trickling down your leg, he crouched down to where you were at in an instant.

"[Name]..! Why didn’t you say anything— , are you okay?"

"I didn't want you to regret sparring me! It's fine it's not bad just a little blood, plus I got you a few times too.”

"I’m so stupid. Sorry [Name], can you stand?”

Your leg was fine it was more of a big scrape that worsened each time you fell on something sharp and didn’t tell him, disinfecting it and wrapping it up would fix it.

He pulls you up from your hand, "I'm pretty sure Korosensei has the shed packed with medical supplies let's go there."

Karma’s willing to carry you on his back if you want him to.

❝ sect. 03 at the shed❞

— He has you sit on a stool inside the shed while he looks for bandages, "Towels... paper... Korosensei's weird stash of Magazines... where the hell are the bandage wraps?!"

You point behind him "Karma isn't that a first aid kit?"

"Oh yeah- good job [name]! Wait let me take a picture of his stash to blackmail him with first"

(He has his priorities straight)

He quickly takes a picture of Korosensei's pile of Magazines and returns to the issue at hand. He gently cleans your wounds and wraps them, something he's done plenty of times for himself, not much of a difference.

You swing your other leg, "this is kinda weird… I'm usually the one doing this for you."

He smiles for a moment "I thought the same thing!"

Once you’re leg is all wrapped up he asks you to stand up to see how everything felt.

“Thought of how I can make it up to you yet?”

"It’s not a big thing! Plus this is the first time I've gotten injured in a fight so I feel pretty cool.."

"Pffft yeah?, you look cool too— imagine the crazy stories you can make up when people ask how you got that."

"Im gonna tell people I survived a lion attack."

"Sounds good, I'll tell people I saw it go down so it's more credible."

With one hand still on your bandages he kisses you and for a moment you forget where you’re supposed to be, he pulls back and laughs for a second.

“Ditching class to kiss a guy [name]? Wouldn’t expect that from you.”

“We’re not ditching- and you initiated it, let’s go before Korosensei finds us and lectures us again.” You shivered at the thought.

When you come back to class Korosensei was frantically looking for you.

“Karasuma told me he looked away for a second and you too were gone! I looked everywhere- where were you?!"

Funnily enough Korosensei looked everywhere except the shed he was so worried he forgot to check the area yet flew internationally 10 times.

"We went to look in the shed for medical supplies."

"The shed of course! Why didn't I think of that... anyway I'm glad you're alright, what happened to your leg [Name]?"

"A lion... it's alright I took care of it."

"A lion..?"

"Yeah- you should've seen her teach, she won a fist-fight with a huge lion, all by herself."

Korosensei’s face flashes green “full points!”

He didn’t actually believe that but from the look on his face he got the hint Karma was the one who took care of your injury and that’s all that mattered to him.

a/n sorry if this is bad😭, tell me if there’s any spelling mistakes pls !! And sorry for the late post :)

[optimist-pine]

When Skies Are Gray (Ch.1)

Summary: You cross paths with someone from your past on the worst day of your life (which is saying a lot).

Warnings: Typical TWD content! Injury, death, suggestions of SA, language, etc.

Word Count: 1,661

Era: Between seasons 3 & 4, before Rick stops going on runs

A/n: I convinced myself that Daryl Dixon and coffee shop AU could totally go together...

One mistake. Very likely your last one at that. However, judging by the look in the man's eye, you may have just enough time to squeeze in another before your life comes to a permanent close. A grand finale of utterly screwing up. Seems fitting.

    Despite everything, you don't actually desire the finality of death yet. The adrenaline surging through your bones reminds you that hope isn't completely gone until your body starts walking around, y'know, without your soul attached.

    Past the end of your revolver, the man's pistol aims back at you, a cruel, sordid smile crawling across his face as his gaze roams around your figure. "Came in here lookin' for somethin' to ease our appetites... Looks like we found ourselves some dessert instead." He sounds quite pleased with himself, and you can only imagine what terrible thoughts are filling his mind.

    You can't withhold the cold shiver that slips down your spine, cursing inwardly. Stupid. There were so many things you should've done differently to prevent this exact scenario from happening, but you'd gotten comfortable. 

    The small shop held the slightest promise of ammunition; that's the only reason you'd even risked investigating it with the encroaching threat of dusk at your heels. But you'd been sloppy in scoping the place out, and careless enough that when a cold hand grabbed you from behind you'd shot without a second thought.

     Now you're reaping the repercussions of your foolishness. The lump of a body lay bleeding on the dirty linoleum floor. And you stand trapped between two men with guns who have worse intentions than using them on you.

     "Dammit, man, she shot Jed!" The second man cries from behind you.

    The first man doesn't even spare a glance. "If he let some bitch shoot 'im, then he d'serves it." He spits

    "Duke, I dunno man." His boots shift nervously. "Let's just get tha' hell outta here." Please, please do your mind pleads.

    The man named Duke begins to saunter towards you slowly, toying with you. "My pal an' I here are gonna have a fun night courtesy of you, doll. Then, after, we'll kill ya." Your arms are beginning to feel the strain from holding out your own gun for so long. You readjust your grip, but what's the point? He's almost to you now. "How's that sound?" Your thoughts are swirling, there's no way you can escape without getting at least seriously injured. But if that's the only option besides giving up willingly... well, you'll take that chance. You have to.

    On the count of three... one... tw

    BLAM!

    You drop to the ground in a crouch, expecting the inevitable overwhelming pain of being shot to take over your body - but it never does. You lift your head to find Duke... dead. You whip around to see the other man with an arrow through his eye. Your gun's back out in an instant, aimed at a new target that emerges from behind a rusty shelf.

    The new man holds a crossbow, posture rigid and shoulders sturdy. A good portion of his face is blocked by the bow except for feathers of brunette hair shrouding a blue eye. 

    "Whoa, there." The sound of a hammer being cocked at your back sends a rush of fury through you. Was this some sort of sick joke? Held at gunpoint by two men, then being rescued only to be held at gunpoint again by two different men? If you were honest with yourself, it wasn't all that surprising though. As far as luck went you were permanently scraping the bottom of the barrel.

    The crossbow in front of you lowers suddenly. "Lav'nder?"

    Now that you can see both of them clearly those blue eyes look awfully familiar. "Dixon?"

    BLAM!

    A blinding pain floods through your right shoulder so quickly that you collapse, sharp waves of heat blooming and spreading and taking over your whole body. You can see your gun lying in the dust and dirt. Huh, you hadn't realized you'd dropped it. You study the weapon as the daylight dims; the sun must not be wasting any time in its descent this evening. You think someone is talking but their voice is fading, the pain is numbing, the darkness is turning to black. There's never been a colder place than the floor of this cursed little shop.

    One last stop before heading back home. An old hole-in-the-wall gun store on the off chance they'll find anything to help replenish the resources depleted in the fight against the Governor. 

    What little promise the place does have dissipates the moment a solitary gunshot rings through the air; all senses immediately on the alert. It isn't hard to discern the situation, the lead man's intentions are unmistakable. And so, they do what they've had to do too many times before.

    But when the woman turns around, what he sees takes him a minute to process. You. He knows you. The word sounds stupid, but it escapes him nonetheless. Then again, maybe not completely stupid because you do remember him.

    BLAM!

    "Dammit!" Daryl shouts, unleashing his arrow into the skull of the third man. The man they'd mistakenly presumed was already dead. He rushes to your side, inspecting the wound. Clean through the shoulder. Good. He removes his vest and sheds his long-sleeved shirt, tying it around your shoulder, holding pressure. By the time he manages to bring himself to look you in the eye, you're already out of it.

    Rick rifles around the men's belongings, gathering up their weapons and anything else that's useful. "You know her?" He asks, skeptical, with that particular cock of his head.

    Daryl nods. "M'yeah. I did." He replies softly. You looked so different now; ragged, weary... alone. But still, he would recognize you anywhere. "C'mon, we gotta get 'er back to Hershel and Dr. S."

    Rick's checking out your belongings now, snatching your gun off the floor to inspect it. "D'you trust her?" He asks.

    Daryl hefts you up into his arms - it's easier than it should be. "She's a good one." An understatement.

    "Heh, yeah." Rick chuckles, holding your gun out for him to inspect. "Cylinder's empty. Held off four men with a gun that wasn't even loaded." He gives Daryl a nod. "Let's get 'er home."

    Daryl sits with your head in his lap, the rest of your body carefully draped across the backseat of the truck, hair spilling haphazardly across his pant legs. His fingertips hover nervously above your face, the overwhelming urge to physically reassure himself that you're really here growing by the second. He's terrified though. Why? Jus' do it. Rough fingers ever so gently brush dirty locks behind your ear, revealing sun-worn skin gone pale.

    It's like he can't look long enough or hard enough at your face to make it feel true. To make you feel real. Are you? Out of anyone who could've found their way here from his past... Out of all the deadbeats and scumbags he would be unsurprised to find thriving in the lawlessness...

    It was you.

    The town had one lonely cafe, which was unfortunately sandwiched smack dab between the tattoo parlor and the pub - aka, Merle's playground. Once Merle had left for the military and then landed himself in prison, Daryl had kept to the same old routine more out of habit than desire. 

    He was on his way to the tattoo parlor late that afternoon - he can't remember why he was using the front entrance because he almost always went in through the back - but that day he had to walk past the happy little cafe to get there...

    It's a warm spring day, the air beginning to fill with the scent of flowers instead of just dirt and cold. Which also means that people are sitting out front of the little coffee joint straining to soak up the last rays of sunshine. The shop windows are open to let in the fresh air, making the place seem noisier than usual.

    "Lavender latte!" A barista shouts around the clamor from inside.

    The screech of metal on cement to his left as a girl pushes out her chair. Just as he's about to walk past, he hears the scuff of a foot against the sidewalk and suddenly she's falling toward him. He reaches up to brace himself and stabilize her shoulders as her palms thud against his chest.

    She pulls back, quick as a whip, eyes huge as pink begins to sprout on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry!" She blurts, gaze flickering around. It's weird, but he can't help but notice that she smells good, like really good. Flowers and citrus and earth, real things, not just some overpowering canned perfume like he's used to being around at the bar. She's cute too, feminine but not girly or gaudy, hair wind-whipped, hands and feet with remnants of dirt like she's been outside working. The pages of a paperback flutter in the breeze on the table behind her, the stem of a flower peeking out the bottom of the book.

    "Are you okay?" She asks, eyes focused surely on his now, irises deep and unwavering and... Idiot. He's staring and he hasn't said a thing and you're waiting for a response.

    "M'fine." He says with a grunt, crossing his arms. He almost tells you off for being so clumsy but the barista shouts again:

    "Lavender latte!"

    She brushes her hair behind her ear as if it's a nervous habit. "Oh, okay. That's good... I'd better go get that." She laughs, the corners of her lips just barely pulling up. She starts to walk away but then quickly turns back around. "Thank you!" A full smile this time, and then she disappears behind the door.

    He shakes his head. Entertaining thoughts about a girl like that is ridiculous. At least, that's what he tells the rapid drumming of his heart. Shut up.

[uniquezombiedestiny]

im so normal about vera. anyways heres working for the knife lyric analysis (TY MIKA)

---

I cry at the start of every movie - she's a passionate/emotional person (not the biggest reason for it, but it's related, and does tie into the main reason).

I guess 'cause I wish I was making things too - she wishes she could make permanent or big things, like pursuing art as a career. she also just wants to be childish and carefree, bc she never truly got a chance in the index. she was kidlike and happy, but never really a child.

But I'm working for the knife - the timeloop prevents from this, and so does the nature of l corp. everyone ie exposed to terrifying horrors, people die, people become jaded. she was just naive with her hopes.

I used to think I would tell stories - she did storytell as a hobby in the index <:)

But nobody cared for the stories I had about

No good guys - everyone has changed. none of c127 were really good people. and at the same time, noone cares for happy stories. noone cares for fairytales and only happiness. just kids would.

I always knew the world moves on - people change, grow, etc.

I just didn't know it would go without me - everyone in c127 changed drastically. she wanted everyone to stay together, be friends, be happy. everyone became unhappy and cold and cynical. she's the only one left behind. the only one wanting to go back (this is probably a lie honestly. even she turned cynical, just only on the inside).

I start the day high and it ends so low - she begins in her magical girl persona and ends as her true self - how she really feels beneath the blinding positivity.

'Cause I'm working for the knife - because of l corp's nature and the timeloop. really, because of self-hatred.

I used to think I'd be done by twenty

Now at twenty-nine, the road ahead appears the same - guess what? its the timeloop baby. she's repeating things over and over to try and find her happy ending.

Though maybe at thirty, I'll see a way to change - but maybe it'll change, even slightly. maybe she'll have an epiphany. maybe she'll change herself in the way she needs to to fix this. she cant just go back, after all!

That I'm living for the knife - she's bound by the timeloops. she binds herself to it of her own will because she cares so much. she's living for this. this is all her life is anymore - lobotomy corp. is all she has. if she left, she'd just have the index... and she can't be wrong after all this time!

I always thought the choice was mine

And I was right, but I just chose wrong - a part of her says it was wrong to care. she should've known her hopes were just naive fantasies. leaving the index was a stupid decision. she's just been wrong the whole time! like a kid!

I start the day lying and end with the truth - she starts with the happy magical girl persona, the childlike naivety, and ends with her hopelessness and anger. it's unfair - both in the way of a kid's yelling and a parent's teaching. life just isn't fair! yep. life's not fair, kid.

That I'm dying for the knife - the timeloop has killed her thousands of times and she will die a thousand more times. she is living and dying for this. she's dying literally, but also in the sense of like. eagerness. she wants this. because one day it has to work out. one day things have to change. one day she'll be right and it all will have been worth it. she lives exactly by the loops' rules, returning to it night and day like a lover.

[beatbawksradio]

vent about having my accomplishments undermined

just feeling melancholy today about smth that happened literally 12 years ago, that has ended up still sticking with me today. it kinda sent me on this spiral of thinking about other scenarios like it and how often ive been trapped with people who treat me like this.

see, back in 2012, i went to my first and only ever convention. I've never gone to another mostly bc ive struggled financially all my life and can't afford the tickets for such a social luxury that im too anxious to even properly enjoy. but, its also bc of how... conflicting my first experience was. there was a panel for pokemon fans basically, which my friends was excited to bring me to, and during this panel, they held a tiny little drawing contest. it was like, you got small dry erase boards, and 15 seconds to draw the pokemon described. being an artist and also young (still in high school), i was super pumped to volunteer for it- i have always had very extreme stage fright, as evidenced by me being red as hell and sweating the whole time, but i powered through that for the sake of having fun in my Element. the final challenge was a 60 second chance to doodle mewtwo, and this was right when the y mega was revealed so i went with that, and the crows went insane. i won the contest, by a landslide, and it was such a genuinely amazing and unbelievable moment in my life. it was just a stupid local 15 second drawing contest with a small crowd of people, but hearing everyone be so excited about my art was so. just incredible.

but... afterwards... the friend who brought me there, while i was excited and celebrating that id actually, yknow, won something for the first time in my life, instead just. told me "well it wasnt really fair bc those other people weren't actually real artists like you are"

and that completely took the wind out of my sails. it crushed me. i felt like i had cheated, like i had stolen a victory from people more deserving, and that i should've never have raised my hand to begin with. id won a little prize from it but couldn't even feel all that happy about it. i felt like i didnt deserve it. i felt like people were mad at me for being decent at art

12 years, and that experience has still stuck with me. i remembered it bc my job is doing this funny little "daily stretching" challenge, and i was going to sign up for it bc i already stretch all throughout my work day, but i ended up holding myself back. bc i thought, well, is it really fair when i already do this as a daily habit? this challenge is to get people who don't stretch often to do it more, and reward them for it. would it be right to reward someone who doesn't need the extra push?

so i didn't. i thought itd be unfair. i thought people would be mad at me if i won bc i have such an advantage already.

and its just sent me down this spiral of remembering all the times ex-friends and past abusers have done this. how I've never been able to just feel proud of myself or happy that ive accomplished something or that im even just decent and capable at whatever the thing is. i can't talk about my meta-raised pokemon bc it isn't impressive when meta specialized mons plow through things. i can't talk about my art getting big numbers bc it isn't impressive when you bandwagon something and it gets spread around bc of that. i can't talk about defeating a tough monster in monhun bc its just my leveled up equipment carrying me. I'm not allowed to be good at anything, bc I'm either just cheating or i dont deserve the win bc i work harder than others. and me winning makes everyone mad that they didn't win instead

so i just accepted being a loser. being stupid. being bad at everything. bc it was easier to be a loser and let my friends always beat me at everything than to make a loser out of my friends, even though i was never trying to compete to begin with, i just wanted to have fun. but I'm not allowed to have fun bc me having fun makes other people upset and mad. and that sucks. id rather just lose. then everyone else can be happy

but. yknow. obviously that's not healthy. and what it ended up leading to was me just, isolating. i didn't wanna show my art to people anymore, i didn't wanna play games with anyone, i didn't want anyone to see me and be negatively affected by my existence. so i just started doing things by myself, and trying to live off self-sustained validation and happiness. and there is some merit to learning how to validate yourself and make yourself happy, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your ability to socialize entirely.

bc the problem was never with me. it was the people i was surrounded by. bc real friends talk you up, cheer you on, and celebrate your accomplishments. they dont see themselves as losers just bc you've won, they see themselves as teammates who have won simply bc you're happy. they don't make life a competition. that's how friendships are supposed to be. it was never about there being something wrong with me. i wasn't the problem

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

A summer wedding p.1

An insane amount of Angst heart break

A little fluf if you can call it fluff, a character calling herself names NO self harm though Ari is a warning in himself.

P.s. a jury is a performance final for musicans reblogs are welcome no posting or publishing online or print

Rachel and David's wedding was beautiful. In begining of it I imagined it was me and Ari. I loved seeing him in his suit and standing rhere next to the groom. Hair just so. Posture just so. He even mouthed I love you." And in reply I said "I love you too."

He looked so hansome I hoped one day maybe we'd  have a summer wedding

In the reception. I didn't mind being away from him as the wedding party was sat together. He had come to me and we were dancing together. He first came to me when they put on  Ella firzgerald's Our Love is Here to Stay. Which now seems like like a cruel joke. Even more that he wispered the lyrics in my ear. I don't even know what happened. How it happened it just erruptrd. Like mt. Vesuvius. They didn't  have a word for volcano before that did you know that? And I dont even have a word to describe what happened.

We had a big fight... huge!

Bad. I was crying. He was crying. Things weren't thrown but we were banging on things.

The poor dog, well our dog, technically his  but I take him when hes been on assignment hut he hasn't left lately.  Anyway our Pup was just standing there his head like a tennis ball as we went back and forth. Doors were being slammed. I dont think I ever saw him cry before. I've never seen him. Ari never cries. I mean never. Not at funeral of other agents, Not even after the that custody agreement or lack there of hurt him knowing his ex wife had full custody of Maya and Maya was being taken to live in Austria with her Mother... and Ari could do nothing but hope to see Maya whenever he could fit it in. And I was more than supportive. I didn't care if Ari had gone to see Maya but he iften brought me with him but I loved staing at the hotel so they could have time. Unless Maya specifically asked for me to come and sometimes she did.

He never cries but that night he did.

I don't even know what what happened just that did. But I waited. To give him his space. The air still felt charged the next day. I left him a note in th kitchen. "I'm  in the guest bedrrom and I taped it to the microwave he had to see that. But he didn't say a word that day. At lesst not to me. So I waited another day to say something but that was it I couldnt wait 2 days. It seemed he couldnt either.

"I'm  sor-                   ry"          

"I want to break up"

We both said at he same time but I had the last syllable. Like the other night I had th le last word but he slamed the dooor last.

"Ok I mean not ok i mean im not-" I sighed and took a breath.

"If you want to break up. I, " I breathed in. "It's not something I want but you obviously have a right to call it off. But I still want to apologize first. Before I go I mean."

He said  "Ok" so calm so cool so colleected that I almost completely lost it. Ari...was like he didn't care maybe he didn't. Days ago we were go happy laughing and kissing and just dancing looking into eachothers' eyes. We were so happy.

"I've just been under a lot of stress and I took it out of your and that wasn't fair of me, at all. It was stupid. And I'm  sorry. I should've appologized that night or the next morning. I just thought i should give you time to not exactly cool off but we were both emotional I thought I was doing the right thing by giving you a day."

"I still want to-"

"That's fine. I'll  respect that. Can I um have a few day to get mt stuff together. Which guest room- I mean I can stay in a guest room right? MeanIfYouWantMeToICanGoToAHotel ThisWholeThingIsMyFaultI shouldGoToAHotel.

He reached out and I immediately went silent. He reached out like he's done so many times before but his hand cupped my face it veared at the last second, falling on my shoulder not on my face.

"Breathe. You can take the main."

"No really I don't I should I-"

"Take it." He said wih a nod of encouragement.

"OK"

I stood there. Breaghing heavily. My heart beating out of my chest. Tears I was blinking back. I didn't know what to do. It was like a faceoff. Then he move first. I swollowed hard-I thought he was going to kiss me on the forehead but no, I mearly felt his hot breath on my forehead as he got a little too close steping around me.

I don't know if he was being cruel and teasing me or of my maybe it was for himself, not completely letting go of me yet. I get it it takes time if I do at all.

I spent the rest of the day outside mostly crying, I put somethings together sobbing and that night but when I came across rhe Star of David he gave me before he left on a mission for two and a half weeks, the first mission he'd been on since we had been together. I was so scared and he told me he promise he'll come back to get it, come back to me.  Holding it in my hand I

just lost it. And I never got my composure back

The poor pup, well not a pup but I call him pup. Had gone back and forth between the two of us, I suppose as he had dissapeared for some time and then came back. I don't exactly know where my now ex was. I only came inside if I didn't see him or come out of the bedroom if he wasn't

I only stepped out of the room if I knew he wasnt around. Peaking out quietly making sure I didnt hear his voice or his feet or anything to things easier on both of us.

I fet bad taking anything to eat or drink. None of it was for me anymore. So I just took a bag of chips and a sleeve of crackers and a bottle of water.

But he has those big bottles so that'd last me a while. But, that night...that night was worse. I had tried to orginize my things but I did what I could do until it became too much and I just collapsed in tears. Crying so hard and so much giving myself a migraine.

I had no one to call, no one to talk to. I didn't have very many friends and I know the ones I did wouldn't care to talk to me about this at all. They were mearly serface friendships. Hair makeup gossip shit not like this. Although I had talked to them about our relationship, this wasn't  something they'd ever help me with. His friends were nicer to me but I wasn't going to go there. So that night I called my own cellphone left myself a rediculousy long voicemail I'd deleate in the morning.

"I can't believe I was so fucking stupid. I shouldn't have just done what I normally do, I know I said I wouldn't but i didnt and then this happens. I just I don't even know what I'm  doing anymore. I don't even feel right taking some water or food.  had some crackers some chips so I think that'd  be ok. I mean I know I should but it just doesn't feel right to eat more.

I have 3 essays due on the same day each 10 pages long. My jury to prepare for and Im still haveing trouble with pronouning some German, I planned to ask Ari for more help he was good with a German accent. And then my boss wants me to put together some 22 odd powerpoint presentation together for him. My family is just ugh I feel like I'm drowning underwater eor being strangeled and now this. I want Ari back ll i know he could pul me out if the water- he always did. Now Im alone J want to quit everything and just live in a hole. Nothing is going right. Maybe in a few months after I recover from all this I can just hit the reset button and start over what I can and just whatever I can't, just screw it. I have to try to find a way to live with myself now. I mean I want to talk to him, to tell him that I don't want to do this. I don't want to leave things like this I want to just fight for us but it's what he wants. Who am I to just say "no" that's selfish of me horrible of me. I mean if its the otherway around I wouldn't want him forcing anything on my or feeling like Im trying to. I hate myself so much right now and theres nothing I can do to stop it or to feel better. I'm a horrible person for just causing all this. He was crying I've never seen him genuinely that sad or that mad before it wasn't some movie or scene he was right infront if me and it was because of me. I just feel like I lost everything. Like I lost myself. No, It's true he is everything to me. If I lost him I -," I scoff at myself if I lost him who am I freaking kidding I who did lose him, I lost everything and I have no one to blame but myself." I sobbed into my pillow.

"I just want Ari. He means everything to me and I just feel like I'm worthless peice of shit for making him cry. He never does I can't imagine how much I hurt him for him to cry. I'll never forget that. I just feel like everything is numb because... I lost him for good... the one good thing I had in the life my only is gone."

In some wacked out tripped up vision in my mind he was sitting right outside the door listening to me pour my heart out. listening to me cry for hours. And he'd give me another chance realizing I'm  punishing myself far more than he ever could. Or that

Maybe he'd  come in and wake me up or stroke my hair or something like he used to do to wake me up sometimes I dont know if it always would wake me up since he'd say i tried to wake you. But he'd  come in and I'd say that. "I don't expect to be forgiven. I just want another chance. To A chance to again to make up for it. To say let me show you I'm worth something...anything...I don't know I don't even think he could look at me. You should've seen him when he said ok so cool and calm and collected. He hates me. So much. I don't blame him. Even I hate me." 

I cried myself to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept for or what time it even was when there was a knock on the door. It wasnt quiet but it was quiet enough for me to not be sure if I heard it or not. It had gotten louder and louder again. I finally got out if bed shuffling to the door and I turned the handle but I stopped, giving him time to leave if he wanted to.

I opened the door and nothing. There was nothing. Great I'm imagining, hearing things now.  I happened to look down and

There was a sandwich with a note "I noticed no food was missing. Eat. Please."

He made me a sandwich. It was nice of him considering everything.

Ari's P.O.V.

"Sammy you should have heard her,"To be continued....

Tag list

@sparklybarbarianninja @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sapphire-rogers @nana1000night

[ashiemochi]

Ok ok hear me out,

Y/N and Leon at a bar. BUTTT they ‘drunkily’ make their way to the bathroom and start making out and things get a little steamyyyy 😏 and then Leon is like “don’t cover your mouth, I want them to hear you.” AHHHWHEHGSBW

😩😩 RE4 Leon lets go- commissions are a bit tiring so im taking these little blurbs as some in-between breaks <3 (they also keep my writing skills a bit active so bigger fics don't turn out slobby-)

Leon was fresh back from a mission, and you guessed it was a bit difficult as he headed straight to the bar. You should've realized from the beginning that the DSO top agent was irritated by specific pent up feelings.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT and stuff (AFAB bc im a gal)

You went from having a drink and barely a two before being pressed up against the obviously dirty bathroom wall, his mouth on yours, one of your arms pinned to said wall and the other hanging onto his shoulder. His free hand was gripping your hips and pulling it flush against his, groaning against the sexually frustrated kiss.

A string of saliva connected both of your lips when Leon pulled back just a little to breathe, panting against your swollen red lips. His once soft sharp blueblue eyes were dilated to hell, utterly lustful.

"Fuck, I should've done this sooner..." Leon murmured, pressing his wet kisses under your jaw and neck, forcing a muffled whimper from you which he picked up on.

His hand hoisted your skirt up to easily reach the spot you really needed touching, and that he gave. His fingers instantly found your clit through your pink panties, rubbing you gingerly as he marked you with a hickey after a hickey.

They were going to be hard to cover and explain tomorrow at the DSO. You just hoped your concealer was going to do a good job.

"Shit... Mmh-" You slammed your free hand to cover your mouth and Leon stopped his little painting session but his other hand was still busy toying with you.

"What do you think you're doing?" Leon asked rhetorically, tilting his head low to eye you down, making you feel intimidated.

How could you even respond with his fingers are close to making you cum through your thin underwear?

He could see from your eyes that you didn't want to be loud. And you never admitted that you were always kind of loud during sex. It's why your apartment had thick walls. Leon knew that.

He was there.

"I need to hear you, baby." Leon almost ordered, tugging at your hand to join the other pinned down one in one big grip. He had big hands, something you were obsessed with.

"But - fuck!" Your voice hitched up in your throat when he shoved the panties aside to thrust in two fingers. A grin tugged at the corner of his lips, pressing his forehead against yours as he began pumping his fingers in and out, receiving small moans and whines from you that were gradually growing louder.

"Atta girl," He praised, pressing a peck right under your eye, something so innocent yet so sinful, "Let them all hear you cum on my fingers."

Being friends with benefits with Leon wasn't such a stupid idea after all.

[buckyjamess-archive]

𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

a/n: keep writing reader as the villain of the story, about time this man screws up • wordcount: 1.3k • warnings: kids, babies, parenthood, cheating, alcohol, bucky being an idiot, mentions of sex, blink and you'll miss it.

summary

going through rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

masterlist

He shouldn't be here. He promised himself to never wake up in this bed again, ever and yet he finds himself sitting on the edge of the memory foam mattress, soft lilac blankets underneath his naked thighs. The smell of the room is familiar but it's not you, not Rosie, not JJ, not home.

He should've stayed home, told you he didn't need a boys night out because he deserved just that– for taking care of the kids while you were a mess, not available and not there when he needed you the most. Yes, he deserved that but maybe the pub his friends had dragged him too was not the right place to be. 

She worked there. She who he had ended things with weeks before meeting you. She with a head of brown curls bouncing around her face, bright green eyes through thick lashes and the cute little dimples in her cheeks whenever she smiled so bright, nose covered in freckles on a sun-kissed canvas and god, if only her personality matched her looks, he would have fought for this one the way he's fighting for you and his family.

God, he was in love back then, one of the firsts he saw a future with. Like a bunch of teenagers, making the eyes of his friends roll with the lovey-dovey behavior– looking back at it made Bucky cringe. The first six months were amazing before her attitude took a 180 and changed for the worse. Possessive, jealous, lowkey crazy.

He wished to never bump into his ex Melissa ever again.

But he did and with the beers coming, alcohol running through his veins and the lack of real intimacy made his mind foggy. The hugs, the cuddles and stolen kisses were not cutting it anymore, he missed you in all other ways and Melissa was there to fix it, like an angel with a halo above her head and rays of light casting from behind her – guiding him straight to what he desired most. 

He shouldn't have been here. Your relationship was taking the right turn, amazing, a do over, like the beginning. The acceptance letter to that nursing school you applied for and your weekly visits with your therapist did wonders for you. Giving bucky back the girl he so deeply fell in love with and he put it all on the line for some sex. Sex he would've gotten if he just had asked you and even then he didn't have a reason to complain. His 7 months old son asking all your attention and a jealous rosie hanging around your leg nearly every hour of the day– you had the right to fall asleep as soon as your head hit a pillow.

"You know what they say; once a cheater, always a cheater."

Bucky clenches his jaw and bites the inside of his cheek, nails digging half moons in the skin of his palms as his hands turn into fists– god, all the reason why he dumper her coming back up.

"I never cheated on you." He hisses through gritted teeth, back still turned to her. 

Melissa snorts "pretty sure you left me for that baby mama of yours." 

"We were long done before that," bucky spats back "for reasons. You being a pain in the ass being one of them." 

"That's not what you said last night." 

God, he didn't even call you or send a text. A shit excuse of staying with a friend for the night, too drunk to get home while he knew damn well he wasn't going home with them.

"I can ask her you know- ask her why she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore." 

Bucky nearly gives himself a whiplash with the force he turns his head around to meet with the green eyes of the half naked woman on the other side of the bed with a smug smile on her face. Playing with her phone in her hand. 

"Don't you fucking dare." 

"She has a right to know bucky." Melissa smiles wickedly "she has the right to know you slept with your ex." 

"I'll tell her myself." Bucky hisses again "I don't need you for that." 

"y/n, right?" Melissa quips, phone stills in her hand as she unlocks it with a swipe of her finger "I think I've seen her Instagram before– gotta say Barnes, the boy looks like you." 

"Melissa, I'm begging you." Bucky sighs "please, I'll tell her myself." 

I'll tell her myself– only if he believed that lie himself. 

A date night, some one on one, some time alone is all what was needed to fill the missing gaps in your relationship. Both kids off to spend the night with bucky his family; just you and him. 

Dinner at your favorite sushi bar before strolling through the city hand in hand, catching a movie the both of you were dying to see followed by a round of beer at the first bar you stumbled upon and right back home– a trail of clothes leading from the kitchen, too desperate. Hands on each other and whispered sweet little nothings. Skin to skin. Raw. Real. Perfect.

But his mind couldn't help and wander to last week; tangled up in his ex her arms under thin sheets in a familiar bed. Mind wandering back to that night, not because he couldn't get Melissa out if his head but the regret– he'd done the same thing tonight but with the real love of his life, the mother of his kid, his future wife but it eats him alive; you can do better than the lying man he is. He needs to tell the truth, it's the least you deserve but he can't. He can't lose what he has now, a future.

He wants that white picket fence outside of the city with a big garden for your babies to grow up in. He wants another mini him or mini you running around, maybe even two if life is that kind. He wants to be by your side through thick and thin, in sickness and health, the bad and the good. He wants to see you stroll down the aisle in that perfect dress. He wants to be a good father figure for rosie, the perfect father and perfect husband– he's put it all on the line for some bad sex with a woman he despised so much.

He can't but he needs to tell the truth. No lies.

The smell of sex is still stuck in the air and the rays of moonlight cast through the crack between the curtains, the sound of the city a background noise– his arm is asleep from where your head rests but bucky runs his hand through your hair and presses a kiss to the crown of your hair, taking in the warm fruity smell of your shampoo. Your naked body cuddles up to his, soft legs entangled with his and a soft and warm hand laying on his chest right near his heart.

you're asleep, have been for a while but he can't; his eyes on the ceiling, following the small cracks in the paint and the cobweb he missed earlier this week. 

Bucky once again finds himself preparing himself a.nd his stupid apology 'a drunken mistake' and 'it won't happen again' followed by a pathetic 'forgive me?' 

He hopes you're getting angry at him, call him names, cursing him, wishing you never met him, a big mistake– bucky simply cannot bear the thought of you crying over him, he doesn't deserve your tears, doesn't deserve you. But above all, he wishes things will turn out okay in the end; see you happy even if it means without him. You deserve that.

God, he needs to tell the truth. You'll find out one way or the other, if not from him it'll be Melissa herself. 

'Hey doll, we need to talk.'

taglist; @farfromshawn @Nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth @winterberryfox @ahahafudge

[multifandomingmess]

The One That Got Away (Sonny Carisi x Daughter!Reader) Part 1/2

anonymous inquired:

Hii do you fanfics, imagines for SVU? If so can you do a Sonny x reader where you are his daughter and you try to kill yourself after being raped. The team finds out and hunts the rapist down. If you could make it middle length maybe? It’s ok if you can’t. If you can thank youuu

Trigger Warning(s): mentions of rape, description of rape, suicide attempt, self-harm, language, etc..

Reminder: Spoilers from recent episodes of SVU - so Carisi is ADA now. If you don't like spoilers, please watch/start on Season 22 beforehand. Thank you.

You could still feel the touch of him. How he threw you around like garbage. When you look down at your legs, you see reminders of him. That night was horrifying for you. However, you weren't surprised that you were targeted since you're the daughter of ADA Carisi.

Y/N Carisi - you were born on M/D/Y - having e/c eyes and h/c hair. Despite all that, you grew up near the SVU, so you knew the signs but you felt like you were stupid and deserved this. Like it was meant to happen. You haven't told anyone because you felt ashamed. You know (for a fact) that your dad will literally kill the guy - but you don't want him to risk his job for you.

(POV CHANGE - I/IM/ME/FIRST PERSON)

I came home from school and immediately went to my bedroom. My dad wasn't home yet so I just lay in my bed - and do what I've been doing. I just look at the wall and think. I think about the things I've done, the things I've wanted to do, the things I want to do, and the things that I wanted to do but was too scared to do so.

It's hard being an ADA's daughter because I've seen the threats he's gotten. People have cyberbullied me a lot, which isn't a surprise, but it's still not pleasant. Through my dad, I've felt unsafe because of threats I received - and some of the things that have been done to me.

A few weeks ago, I was raped after my dad won a case. The convicted man's family, who is apart of a mafia, seemed to convey hatred against him. I'm not sure if it's one of them that raped me but I just want to block it out. I want to forget it ever happened but it's not that easy. The past few days have been even harder because the thoughts have gotten worse. My dad knows I struggle with my mental health, in general, but he doesn't know why it's worsened lately. He doesn't know that I've started self-harming again.

It's hard to be alone with all these thoughts - because it's getting harder. I look at the belt nearby and place my hand against the leather. I just want this pain to be gone.

(HOURS LATER; 3RD PERSON POV)

Sonny finally arrived home. He had been trying to get a hold of Y/N but he had no luck. He opened the front door to a silent apartment. He was used to the silence but he felt a different feeling - like something was - like a gut instinct. He knew something was up.

He began to call Y/N's name, "Y/N! Are you home?" Silence. Just pure silence. He looked around the apartment and noticed her backpack on the kitchen counter - so she was home.

He went down the hallway and saw her bedroom door barely shut. He opened the door and he felt his stomach turn. Y/N was hanging from a belt. He rushed to her and unbuckled the belt carefully, so she would fall down, but he grabbed her in time. She placed her on the floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak but she had a pulse.

He took his phone out and dialed 911, before putting the speakerphone on and placing it on the ground. He immediately began chest compressions.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"This is ADA Sonny Carisi of Manhattan. I just came home to my daughter who attempted suicide. Please, send some paramedics and SVU here."

He continued the CPR, "Are there signs of sexual abuse?"

"I don't know but something isn't right. I'm doing CPR right now. Her pulse is weak. Please, hurry."

"Yes sir, just keep doing what you're doing. They're on their way."

Sonny continued to do the compressions, hoping she'd wake up, but she was still unconscious.

"Come on, baby..." He mumbled under his breath, as he continued the compressions.

Minutes went by and the paramedics arrived, along with SVU. They rushed into the house and Sonny stood by, as they began to take her vitals and placed her on a stretcher. Sonny felt like his whole world was turning upside down.

Olivia rushed in there, along with Amanda. "Sonny, what happened?"

"I came home to check on her because she wasn't answering her phone, so when I got here - something felt off and went to her room and found her like this..." He explained, trying to contain his emotions.

"Do you think she was raped?" Amanda questioned, causing Sonny to look down to the ground.

"I don't know but she hasn't been suicidal... I've been with her and something isn't right about this."

Olivia watched them take her out on the stretcher, noticing scratches on her arms, before sighing. Sonny was right. Something was wrong.

Hours had passed and Y/N awoke in a hospital bed, looking around to see her dad and some of his friends. "Dad?"

Sonny immediately rushed to his daughter's side and gave a kiss on her forehead. "How are you, sweetheart?"

She remembered what she did and regret filled her eyes. She placed her palms over her eyes and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, dad..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." Sonny assurred but she shook her head, throwing her hands down on the bed.

"I do, I really do, Dad." Y/N sobbed out, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Sonny looked at her and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of her hand gently.

"Honey, why are you sorry?" She began to tug at the IV, trying to take it out. Machines began to beep uncontrollably, "You're safe, Y/N!"

"Dad, you're gonna kill me..." She yelled out in hysterics, nurses beginning to barge in.

"Sedate her!" One of the nurses shouted. Sonny was forced to get out of the room as he watched her fight off nurses.

"What happened to my babygirl?"

"Sonny..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his back. "I think she's been raped or assaulted."

Sonny felt himself becoming numb and in shock. Olivia had it wrong, or did she? It would make a lot of sense, though. The huge question was why? Why would someone hurt his babygirl? That question ran through his mind.

Hours passed by and Sonny anxiously paced the halls of the hospital. Olivia had gone in there to talk with Y/N. Sonny knew he couldn't do it and just knew that she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not yet, at least.

"It's going to be okay, Carisi..." Amanda reassured, standing up after sitting in the chair for some time. "We will figure this all out but you need to sit down, you'll make yourself sick."

"I already feel sick and disgusted. I should've known something was off. I should've taken off work when her behavior started changing but I thought it was just teenage things. We've all gone through it..."

Amanda tightened her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. It was really unfortunate. The creak from the hospital room's door interrupted the two. Olivia came out with a clipboard, approaching Sonny at once. "I need you to sit down, Sonny..."

Sonny knew exactly what Olivia was going to say. Either way, nothing would stop the anger evolving inside of him. He didn't protect his daughter like he was always promised. He was already blaming himself.

"She was raped about a week ago. His identity is unknown but she said he had green eyes, black hair, pale skin, and dressed very neatly - but she mentioned that he said it was a warning for you..."

Sonny curled his eyebrows together, bringing eye contact with Olivia. He began to shook his head, grabbing the sides of his face, burying his face into his lap. "No..."

"She said he supposedly was a relative of a case you beat recently."

Carisi pounded his fist into his legs, screaming out, "Damn it!"

He jumped to his feet immediately, rushing toward the exit of the building, anger overcoming him.

"Sonny, you can't pursue this case!" Olivia yelled through the distance. "I have the authority to arrest you and I don't want to do that..."

He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. "You won't let me pursue this but you pursued your buddy Stabler's wife's case..."

"Excuse me?"

"If you can help your old partner out, then you can have my back on this... Either way, I have a feeling on who this is, and no one's stopping me - not even you."

With that, Carisi rushed out of the hospital building, leaving Olivia speechless. She looked at Amanda and audibly sighed.

Carisi got home and skimmed through each case file thoroughly, especially recent cases.

Brown v. Powell

New York State v. Senator Graham

Little v. Brewster

Jackson v. Gallagher

As he went past the Jackson v. Gallagher file, he pulled up the list of relatives for the Gallagher case (the opposing side). He saw Michael Gallagher. He was 35 and had all the features his daughter reportedly claimed. He clenched his hands into fists for a moment before hearing the doorbell ring. He snapped out of it and went to open the door.

In the pouring rain, Olivia stood there. Carisi found himself surprised but grateful.

"I'm sorry..." She gently apologized as she dug her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat.

"We don't have time for that. I think I found a suspect..."

Olivia widened her eyes a bit as he led her to his office. He began to explain the case to her, which was complicated but expressed how one of the relatives had been sending threats since the trial completed. In which, we have Michael Gallagher.

"This is good... He looks just like the guy she described. This is a good sign, Sonny." Olivia admitted as she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to have them test Y/Ns DNA samples and possibly other DNA matches as soon as they can."

"Thank you, Liv."

She flashed a sly smile at him before she headed out. However, Sonny wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, so the night would be interesting.

[lastbluetardis]

POV [Elsa]. Yes I'm partial.

Hahaha! I'd expect nothing less 😘

I got a little carried away, but I didn't think you'd mind 😘

~ ~ ~

Rose was... off. And that was fine. We all had bad days. But when Elsa saw her friend sitting alone in the back corner of the dining hall, painstakingly sorting M&Ms by color while the rest of her lunch sat uneaten in front of her, every single warning bell clanged in her head.

Where the fuck is James?

Elsa scanned the crowded room for a gangly mop of brown hair, but Rose remained alone with her sad little piles of candy. Elsa didn't think twice; she cut in front of everybody else waiting in line to pay for their food, with a hissed, "There is an emergency that needs my immediate attention!"

Most of her peers still looked pissed and skeptical, but they could all suck her ass. Elsa took her now-paid-for chicken tenders and fries and half-ran to Rose's solitary table. The M&Ms were color-sorted, but now that Elsa was closer, she could see that Rose was flipping them all around so the tiny m was visible and right-side up.

Jesus Christ.

"Hey!" She flashed her best smile and sank into the chair opposite Rose. Affecting her best British accent—which really was quite awful—she trilled, "Fancy seein' you 'ere!"

The fragile, twisted smile that Rose forced across her face broke Elsa's heart.

"Oh, Rose," she murmured. "Babe."

Rose's eyes shone, and she dropped her gaze to her candies. "Hi. What's up?"

"What's the matter?" Elsa asked instead.

Rose stiffened, and sniffled. She moved her hands to her face and scrubbed at her eyes once, twice, three times. But Elsa still saw the tears.

"C'mon," Elsa murmured, standing. She plonked her food atop Rose's tray next to her friend's pitiful grilled cheese sandwich and picked the tray up. "Grab your M'nems. Let's sit outside. Up we go. Somewhere quiet."

"I fucked up," Rose croaked, not moving. She lifted her head, and Elsa felt like she'd been punched in the chest to see Rose's swollen, blood-shot eyes and devastated expression. "With James. I fucked up. He hates me. God, he hates me!"

Rose's face crumpled and she whimpered out a sob. Elsa set the tray back on the table and scooted her chair to Rose's side. She didn't hesitate to go in for a hug, and was glad when Rose melted into her rather than recoil.

Her friend was nearly hyperventilating as she tried to quiet her cries, and Elsa was helpless to do anything but stroke her back and make useless little shh sounds.

"We got into a huge fight," Rose hiccupped. "I'm so stupid... I didn't tell him about Jimmy... but Jimmy sent me a letter... and James saw it... you should've seen his face... I broke his heart... I broke his heart... he was bein' a twat... but so was I... and I said things I didn't mean... and I'm so fucking stupid..."

"Breathe," Elsa whispered, holding Rose tighter. "Just breathe. You're not stupid. He doesn't hate you."

"I wanted to talk to 'im," Rose continued as though Elsa hadn't spoken. "I waited outside his morning lab... but he wasn't there. He didn't come to school... he's avoiding me... as he should."

"I don't think that's the case," Elsa reasoned, nuzzling her cheek into Rose's hair. "Do you know what you need? Stress baking? You're done with classes today, aren't you? Let's go to your apartment and bake something. And you can tell me exactly what happened. From the beginning."

~ ~ ~

Thanks for playing again Sae bae darling!! 💜💜

writing game/meme/thingy

[m4ycrowave]

OKAY THAT'S IT

listen fellas I am fed up with this it's time for a quick rant

WHY'D YALL DO THIS TO MY BOY TOMMY

(Before I begin I'd like to clarify that this is talking about the characters btw, not the real people, I love them all to bits! But this is abt their characters in the SMP)

Listen, this might seem like I am about to shit on Tubbo and the rest of the smp BUT IM NOT SO HEAR ME OUT

Do I think tubbo was right to exile tommy?

Yes, but also no. Let me explain.

So I think we can all agree that tommy burning down george's house was stupid of him, yeah? Yeah.

(Although, the fact that the house could be rebuilt that WAS NOT worthy of an exile. But okay, whatever, it happened anyway)

Tommy acted selfishly by burning down George's house, Tommy DID deserve greater consequences cuz Tommy IS the vice president, Dream is not. Which is why Tommy's actions have greater concequenses than the green bastard's, and by logic almost everyone else's.

The discs are just discs. Like, literally they are.

But to Tommy they're not. We all know that Tommy's discs mean a lot to him emotionally and we've established that the reason dream wants them is to have power over Tommy. To Tubbo, I believe they're not just discs, either. He just doesn't have as much emotional attachment to the discs like Tommy does.

Tommy thinks emotionally, he's impulsive. Which is why he did what he did.

Tubbo thinks logically, and to him, the most logical thing to do was exile tommy. To him, the discs were too insignificant to decide the fate of an entire nation.

Tommy acted selfishly, however, he is NOT selfish. He does care about L'manburg(berg? Jfc idk) and THE ONE TIME he decides to go "okay, enough nation for a day, it's me time!" HE GETS FUFJFKIN EXILED.

Like he's said, he's put the discs to the side EVERY SINGLE TIME, it's just that his way of getting them back was incredibly stupid.

I might be getting confusing, but basically,

I agree that Tommy had the right to get the discs back for himself, I just believe he should've gone about it differently. and while the exile seems like to severe of a punishment, Tommy is the vice president, and he did fucking put the nation at risk Because of his selfish actions, so people have the right to be mad at him.

Now, that must mean that I DO agree with tubbo exiling him!

And you'd be right! Exiling tommy was the best thing Tubbo could've done for the nation, BUT, the way I'm which he did it was HORRIBLE.

Tubbo didn't want to exile tommy but he did it for the nation, and I can respect that!

WHAT I DO NOT RESPECT, HOWEVER, is the fact that Tubbo did it in such a way that he really DID BETRAY TOMMY

again, hear me out, Tubbo exiling Tommy was for the best, I agree! But he could've just done that from the start instead of cowering out of the god damn plan at the last second by going "WAR!" "n..nevermind..EXILE!"

He should've VOICED to the others that he WAS NOT on board with this plan instead of doing it in the moment, because those kinds of decisiones CAN'T BE MADE IN THE MOMENT!

I Don't CARE if he says he didn't know he was going to do that, you agreed to a plan to take down dream, YOU SHOULD'VE STUCK WITH IT!

Those kinds of decisions CANNOT. BE. MADE. IN. THE. MOMENT.

So okay, Tubbo exiled tommy in exchange of peace, that's great! Isn't it?

No.

Because afterwards he literally WENT ON WITH THE PLAN TOMMY HAD SUGGESTED FROM THE START.

Are you KIDDING ME?

you exile your best friend for peace and then proceed to do the one thing you ended up exiling him for. What the hell?

Literally nobody seemed to be concerned to have exiled Tommy and left him alone. The only one who actually seemed to care if just a BIT was QUACKITY AND RANBOO.

"do you think tommy's okay?"

"Tommy..he's not here anymore."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?"

"I can't be there with you right now, but know that if you ever need anything, I'll be here."

LIKE

WH

Listen to be, they are just kids, I understand. I am upset with tubbo, but not because of the decision he made! Just how he went about it, but I still want what's best for him.

Now, more about Tommy and why I made this post in the first place,

Everyone, or at least from what I'm seeing, keeps shitting on Tommy for being hurt, UH, WHAT???

I've seen so many posts of people complaining about how "Everyone else is in the right and Tommy is just being a big baby" LIKE-

I don't like to say "they're all right" because they're not. So I like to phrase it as, "they're all wrong, in their own ways." Because they all did something wrong, wether we want to believe it or not.

What Tommy is NOT doing wrong, however, is feeling HURT and BETRAYED.

Like I've explained earlier, we all know the discs mean something more to Tommy than just "oh lmao this is a kick-ass song", I don't think they mean /power/ to him, because while Tommy does like power, he seems to value something more,

Friendship.

Whoops we're going into mlp territory-

Okay, but really, he seems to value his friends more than almost anything else,

He'd rather stick by his friends and die, than have power. Which is why I truly believe that he wouldn't have exiled Tubbo if the nation depended on it.

He cares about L'manburg, however, he cares more about his friends.

Now, who's Tommy's best and closest friend?

Tubbo.

The discs, I believe, are a symbol of friendship between him and Tubbo, which I think is the reason he values them so much.

Tubbo saying the discs don't matter to Tommy was basically screaming at him that their friendship doesn't matter to him.

Tommy cares about friendship more than L'manburg, which is why he can't seem to understand why Tubbo cares more about L'manburg than their friendship.

Throughout the wars, Tubbo has been the one and ONLY person to stick by him, not even Wilbur did that (ghostbur did but that's another post for another day)

So it's understandable why tommy would feel HURT over Tubbo exiling him.

Because by Tubbo exiling him, he's made it clear that he doesn't care about him or their friendship, at least to Tommy.

And I'm not even mentioning the fact that Quackity and Fundy were so damn quick to blame him and put everything on /HIM/ when everything wasn't going according to plan

Or how his whole family basically betrayed and then left him.

So,

No, Tommy being hurt isn't him being a big crybaby, he has a REASON, many reasons to be.

Let's stop calling them crybabies and horrible people and just accept the fact that they all did something wrong

#poor tommy he does not deserve this.

[vodkanrainbows]

Xefros' Daymare

Well my dudes, I already wrote a fanfic about Dammek having a daymare, so this time Xefros is the one to have a daymare.

Some Background Information: This takes place after the events of Hiveswap, wherein Xefros and Dammek leave their lives on Alternia behind to start fresh (Joey is the one to persuade Xefros into coming back to Earth with her) and stay in Earth. They are now living at the Half-Harley Manor with Joey and Jude. Now that Dammek and Xefros don't have to do Dammek's rebellion, Dammek now devotes his life to spend time with Xefros and has learned how to treat him right (especially after getting yelled at by Joey).

Additional Notes: Dammek and Joey are kismesis, and Xefros and Dammek are no longer moirails, but matesprits instead.

Characters: Dammek, Xefros, Joey (mentioned), Jude (mentioned)

Ships: Xefros ❤ Dammek, Xefros ♦ Dammek (mentioned), Joey ♠ Dammek (mentioned)

Warnings: Red Dammek/Xefros, since some people don't like them being shipped red.

Story below the cut! Enjoy me writing at 4 in the morning :)

Ever since Joey was able to convince Xefros to come to live on Earth with her and her brother, Jude, he has been much happier with his now matesprit, Dammek. The two were able to reconcile after Xefros broke off their Moirallegiance for a few months. They recently got back to dating and officially became matesprites. Xefros had flushed feelings for Dammek since the very beginning, but decided to never tell him in fear of being told that Dammek didn't feel the same and would reject him. So Xefros was extremely surprised (and relieved) when Dammek revealed to Xefros that he indeed felt the same. Since they're no longer having to rebel against Trizza, Dammek now treats Xefros right and they spend a lot of time together.

---

It was a peaceful night at Half-Harley Manor. Everybody was asleep and the manor was a quiet as can be. Dammek and Xefros share a room together and share a bed. Dammek was sleeping just fine, but Xefros was whining softly under his breath in his sleep.

---

Dammek: xeFros, we have to talk.

Xefros: sure! what is it?

Dammek: so i've been thinking...

Dammek: about our relationship together.

Xefros' bloodpusher sank. Uh oh...

Xefros: oh... uh...

Xefros: really?? X:O

Dammek nodded.

Dammek: yes.

Dammek: i think...

Dammek paused for a sec, breaking eye contact with Xefros.

Dammek: we should break up.

Xefros covered his mouth in shock.

Xefros: what?

Xefros: w-why?

Dammek: xeFros, you know i like you a whole lot, but i'm not always gonna have time for you!

Xefros: b-but you said youd always have time for me...

Dammek: that was then, xeFros. things change, y'know?

Xefros' eyes started to well up, burgundy tears threatening to run down his cheeks.

Dammek: i'm sorry, xeFros, but we're done.

Xefros: dammek please

Xefros: dont you DARE leave me!

Xefros was full on crying now, grabbing Dammek by his hoodie sleeve. Dammek was refusing to make eye contact.

Xefros: i-i love you!!! im IN LOVE with you!

Xefros: please!

Xefros: i dont want you to go

Xefros: i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i lov-

Xefros was interrupted when Dammek suddenly yanked his arm out of Xefros' tight grip, which made Xefros fall backwards onto his back. Xefros yelped in pain.

Dammek was now crying as he leaned over Xefros' body currently on the ground.

Dammek: enough!

Dammek: i said we're done! what part of that are you not getting, huh?!

Dammek: just leave me alone, dammit!

Xefros was still laying on his back, looking up at Dammek with blurry vision. Burgundy tears are now violently falling down his cheeks and onto the ground below him. Xefros only whimpered in response to Dammek shouting at him.

Dammek: ...goodbye, xeFros.

Xefros' eyes widened when he heard this, swiftly jolting up into a sitting position, ignoring the pain in his possibly broken back. Xefros suddenly started to scream at Dammek's now disappearing form as Dammek was walking away from Xefros.

Xefros: DAMMEK!!!!

Xefros: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMEK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE!

Xefros stopped screaming when he realized Dammek probably can't hear him anymore. He lie back onto his back as he cried silently to himself.

---

Xefros awoke with a scream.

Xefros: DAMMEK!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, Dammek started moving frantically in the bed, jumping to his feet.

Dammek: xeFros?! what the Fuck happened?!

Xefros was crying.

Xefros: d-dammek?

Dammek turned around to look at Xefros with wide eyes. Dammek got back up into the bed and nestled next to his matesprit. Dammek grabbed Xefros and held on tight.

Dammek: yeah, i'm right here babe

Dammek: what happened?

Dammek: tell me everything, ok?

Xefros was still crying, but he felt a little better with Dammek holding him tightly.

Xefros: i...

Xefros: i had a daymare

Dammek pulled back from Xefros slightly, looking at Xefros with his beautiful eyes. He had no sunglasses on, which gave Xefros a good chance to look into his eyes, which were glowing green because of the pitch darkness that they are sitting in. Xefros is the only one Dammek allows to see him without his trademark shades on. Dammek is extremely insecure about his eyes, which is why he wears them, but Xefros thinks Dammek's eyes are beautiful. Xefros even prefers seeing Dammek without the shades on. "my eyes are only for you, baby," Dammek has told Xefros.

Dammek: a daymare? about what?

Xefros: y-you dumped me...

Dammek: ...what?

Xefros nodded.

Xefros: you said you no longer had time for me...

Xefros: i-i tried to atop you from leaving me a-and you...

Xefros had to gulp and take a deep breath. Dammek rubbed Xefros arms up and down in reassurance.

Dammek: it's okay. tell me more baby.

Xefros: ...y-you started to scream at me telling me to leave you alone and i screamed and screamed for you but you wouldnt come back no matter how loud i screamed...

Xefros: i just...

Xefros: dont want you to leave me!!!!

Dammek jumped at Xefros' sudden shouting, but quickly recovered and sat up a little and straddled Xefros' lap. Dammek put one finger underneath Xefros' chin, forcing Xefros took look at him. Dammek was scowling.

Dammek: hey.

Dammek: look at me, baby. listen carefully For me, ok?

Xefros nodded.

Dammek: xeF, you know that'll never happen. i'll always have time for you. i will not leave your side, no matter what happens.

Dammek: i am not perFect, but i really am trying. i love you so much, always have. even when i was treating you like shit.

Dammek: of course joey would try and convince you that i didn't care about you, and you believed her and you dumped me. you realized that we were meant to be together, so you came back to me and we started the relationship from Fresh.

Dammek: but joey was right about one thing. i was not a good moirail to you. sure i cared about you, but i was too caught up in that stupid rebellion to give you the time we should've spent together. i was selFish. i was bossy and put you through dangerous shit, not caring about the consequences. i hurt you so many Fucking times but you never realized it because of how much you looked up to me. i took advantage of that because i knew you'd always come back to me. jude helped me realize a lot of things, xeFros. he helped me realize that a TRUE Friend wouldn't do the things i did to you. i am glad i came to earth. if the portal wouldn't have activated, we would still be rebelling and i'd still be treating you like shit. hell, we wouldn't even be matesprits right now!

Dammek: so in short, i was a shitty person who didn't treat you right.

Dammek released Xefros chin, putting his hand on Xefros' waist.

Dammek: you are literally the best person in my liFe, you always have been. even back then.

Dammek: i love you so Fucking much, baby. you have no idea.

Suddenly, Xefros shifted and pushed Dammek down into the bed and into the mattress. Xefros was covering Dammek's face in kisses. Dammek laughed.

Dammek: xeFros!!

Xefros made his way from Dammek's face to Dammek's throat, splaying kisses all over there too. Dammek gasped a little, wrapping his arms around Xefros with a growl and bared fangs, as if to protect him. Joey and Jude didn't wake up to Xefros' screams. Dammek didn't really have a reason to growl and show of his fangs like that since Joey and Jude mean no harm at all. He still kinda thinks Joey means harm, but he guesses this is normal since they're now in a black relationship. But Dammek still does this whenever anyone harms his friends.

Xefros stopped kissing Dammek's neck. Dammek still has his arms around Xefros. Damnek buries his head in Xefros' neck, purring.

Xefros: thanks, dammek

Xefros: i feel so much better now...

Dammek's reply was slightly muffled, but Xefros understands him anyways.

Dammek: anything for you, baby.

Dammek and Xefros part.

Dammek: wanna go back to bed?

Xefros: sure

Dammek smiled as he got under the covers with Xefros. Dammek opened his arms for Xefros so they can cuddle. Xefros purrs and quickly accepts Dammek's embrace. Dammek pulls Xefros close to him, kissing Xefros on the lips. They locked lips for a few seconds before they broke the kiss. Xefros buries his face into Dammek's neck before finally closing his eyes and falling asleep. Xefros is so grateful to have Dammek in his life.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 1:First Life of Many

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔

Pairing Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Tag: @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

The bus finally pulls up breaking the tension between you and Hitoshi you let out a sigh of relief as the doors to the bus opens.

You both step onto the bus and try to find a seat, Hitoshi nudges your arm gentle "Hey you wanna sit in the back?"

You don't respond to him....I mean how could you with that stupid question you asked him still looming over you like a vengefulspirit. "Maybe I should've stayed quiet" "Did I say to much?" "H-how much did I say?!" .

Your mind begins to think of the worst possible scenarios but then you snap out of it as you feel something warm cover your hand.

It's Hitoshi's holding your hand as he takes you to the open two seater in the back.

Y/n suddenly feels her face heat up as her cheeks blush red this feeling is something that can happen only once in a life time so....you enjoy this short tiny bit of contact like it was your last.

Shinsou hold out his hand giving you access to the seat next to the window "Here you go I know you like sitting next to the window so-" he stares at you and notices your blush and can't help but to do the same.

Seeing you look up at him with genuine happiness makes his chest feel warm and his throat tighten.

"Thanks Hitoshi...". Y/n sits down and scoots over to the window while Shinsou sits down next to you.

Shinsou takes out his headphones once again and puts them on resuming his paused music however before he puts his phone away he receives a text from Izuku Midoriya.

" Hm? What does Midoriya want?"

The Promblem Child🥦

Izuku: Hey Toshiiii~😜

Shinsou: ......kaminari why the fuck do you have Izuku's phone......

Izuku: MY PHONE DIED🥀😪 so I swiped Midoriya's phone while him and Bakugo are arguing in the living cuz bakugo sucks a uno and his sweaty hands are fucking up the cards but they not important rn

Shinsou: ok so what do you want with me

Izuku: Me and and guys are gonna go bowling tomorrow and we wanted to see if you wanted to come 🥺

Shinsou: I don't know I'm kinda busy after school🤷‍♂️sooooo....

Izuku: COME ON YOU GOTTA GO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHUTDOWN BAKUGO'S YELLING

Shinsou: Sounds like I'm baby sitting 😑

Izuku: YOU WON'T BE! YOU CAN BRING Y/N IF YOU WANT SO YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY ALONE PLEASE ANAJHSHSHAJJS

Shinsou: Ok! Ok I'll go but I'll have to ask y/n about what she thinks

Izuku: I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND TOSHI!

Shinsou: Dumbass go put your phone in your mouth you doofus🥱😴

Izuku: I-

Shinsou turns off his and focuses his attention towards you as your head is resting on his shoulder. Shinsou tries his hardest not to ruin the moment so he obviously he stupidly asks " Y-you wanna...hold hands again? I'm getting cold over here".

You normally brush off Hitoshi's stupid flirting because he sucks at it but hearing that he wants your warmth....he need your warmth...Hitoshi needs you.

You and Hitoshi locks hands together both completely quiet but internally freaking out.

Shinsou's brain starts going into overload as he starts think about every romantic movie and think about how they would fuck up a situation like this "Oh no she's really close shit! SHIT DOES MY BREATH STINK?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO FIND OUT,DAMMIT HOLD YOUR BREATH!" Shinsou does just that but you see him oddly do this.

Then you start thinking,"He's holding his breath? Why...did he sniff me...DO I STINK OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T IM SORRY HITOSHI!!!".

The bus hits a speed bump to causing all the seats to jump and it cause the two dummy's to bump heads.

"OW! DAMMIT! Hey are you ok?" You both say in unison then there is a short pause before the both of you burst out laughing.

"We're both so stupid haha!".

"Nah were not stupid great minds think alike " Hitoshi snickers.

You lean in closer to Shinsou as you poke the bump he got on his forehead from crashing into you " OW! HEY!" "That's what you get".

Sometime passes and the bus finally reaches the home bus stop in front of your house. Hitoshi and you get off watching it leave. "Hey Y/n are you busy tomorrow?"

"Umm no actually I'm free why you wanna hang out?"

Hitoshi beams as he scratches the back of his head just then a creepy smile form's on his face " Oh that great! Denki invited me to go out bowling and I wanted to bring what bakugo would call an extra"

You playful punch Hitoshi in the arm " Hey! Don't call me an extra! Ohhhh I swear I'll go feral on Katskui!"

"Oh I know you will... you always do but before you go in I wanna ask are you really ok...?"

Once again you ignore his question he notices and sighs "Y/n i won't use my quirk to make you talk....i promise ...".

Y/n stops smiling as she turns her back on Shinsou walking to the door.

"H-hey did you hear me y/n come on talk to me what wrong?", " I'm really glad I got to meet you Hitoshi Shinso.....You're such an amazing guy and... I just-."

And with that the tears began to fall down your face you look back at Hitoshi to see he's completely shaken up bye your sudden rush of sadness.

" Everything you've done for me there no way words can describe how happy I've been being friends with you and how much you left a impact on me"

Shinsou stops her " what up with all this crazy talk y/n? why are you acting like one you walk through that door I won't see you again?"

You think it would be better then wasting away until you day in 9 days then maybe your heart wouldn't be hurting so much like it is now, hell this pain feels like it's hurts more than the pain the quirk will bring.

Hitoshi brings you into his arm embracing your body in hug. "I promise you that we will be together always and besides-...."

"We got all the time in the world"

Hearing that one line....it finally sinks in that y/n is gonna die...so she does the only thing she can.

You clench Hitoshi uniform as you bury your head in his shoulder and began to breakdown in Shinsou arms. "Y/n?! Hey hey don't cry it'll be ok"

You scream and beg Hitoshi not to leave " You can't leave please don't! I don't wanna lose you Shisou!". "Woah woah lose me? Y-you're not gonna lose me...let's go to my house and clean you up I don't want you parents to see you like this".

Hitoshi takes you to his house right across the street. He quickly opens the door and sits you on the couch "I'll be right back just stay here ok", you nod and Shinsou leaves.

"I don't wanna bring Hitoshi into this and get him all worked up because of me he does so much for me as it is...you know what I mean right?" Shinsou's just meows back at you.

"Of course you get it Kabuki...Hitoshi is always taking care of both of us" you say while petting Kabuki. "I guess liking Shinsou isn't the only thing we have in common huh...".

A few minutes go by and Hitoshi is sitting on the couch wiping your face "Hitoshi come on I know how to whip my own face!". " If you stop moving MAYBE me can get this done quicker!".

Shinsou sighs and lays back on the couch "There now you're all clean up, you're welcome". You lay ontop of Shinsou patting his chest "Looks like the day is saved thanks to pro hero Mind Freak~". He pushes your face smushing it with is hand.

" Ew I told you I'm not calling myself myself mind freak!"

" IT'S COOL!"

" IT'S SCARY! IM TO TRYING HELP PEOPLE NOT TO SCARE THEM OFF" "We'll I'm here and I'm not scared of out you!".

Hitoshi softly puts his hand on your cheek "what I said out there wasn't a lie, Y/N I'm here if you need me...every step of the way...."

You hold Hitoshi hand as your hearing starts to diminish and your body begins to fell light that you begin to wobble and sway back and forth.

"Yeah.....we got all the time in the world...."

Y/n suddenly fall sideways onto the floor lying there motions while Hitoshi eyes widen as he screams " Y/N!!!!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔 As the the first day has come to an end so has 1 of the many lives. And so far Y/n has lost her first life.....🥀

[soldierallen]

Married 9

Summary: you're in love with Sebastian and you're one of his three best friends however he finds a women he loves and marries her.

Disclaimer: I have a Thanksgiving chapter that will be out a week after Thanksgiving YIKES I didn't time this right am sorry! Anyways heres the next chapter.

Warnings: none, probably some cursing, and arguing but that's usually what happens in this story, mentions of sex.

Part 8:

Three days, no phone call or text since the wedding from him Henry's been very supportive of the whole thing he said I look better and to be honest I feel better.. I wonder how sebastian's doing I think I should give him a call

"Stop I know what your thinking about" Henry said looking out the window eating food at my office this time, "what am I thinking about" she stabbed her food with a fork not really interested in eating lately, she did that often nothing filled the void nor food or sex nothing.

"You want to call him" he looked at his food and back at her and she stared at him from across the table "Henry" "no y/n! It's not your job!" He explained

"But if I want to pursue a relationship it should be-"

"Two sided?, well explain to me since the past three days has he called?" He threw a napkin onto the table waiting for her answer "no.."

"Texted?, a dm on Instagram? Maybe even a Facebook message?" She stayed silent "he never calls" he got up putting his hand on her shoulder "give up" he finally let the words out of his mouth, wanting to stay them for so long.

Give Up, give up the fight for a love that doesn't exist for a love that can't truly be fixed because it's one sided. She stood up "I know.." she had to stop feeling sorry for herself it's been years I think it's time to really give up for real this time, Henry was right and she knew he was it was just hard to actually stop everything and end it, a 14 year relationship down the drain..all because of a stupid wedding!

"I have to go, please don't call him"

She nodded her head knowing it was wrong knowing it needed to end once and for all.. he kissed her forehead "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" "Okay, uh text me when you get home so I know you're okay" he smiled with a small nod and went on his way, she saw Robert her boss about to knock on her door when she went to it opening it "Mr Downey how are you" she smiled, he gave her a nice smile back "hey were having a going away party for Martin, do you want to come? It's gonna be at my place" "I don't know I'm not feeling to well-" "y/n, please come" she felt bad to say no she just didn't feel like going she never felt like doing anything anymore.

She made an excuse, not really interested in going to a party she wasn't in the mood taking a nice wall home when she stumbled upon a bar... going in for a few drinks and a date possibly

×

She unlocked her door with the spare key that everybody used checking her mail taking the few pieces that she had in there, carrying them up the stairs she opened, reading some and finally getting to her door someone was laying by her apartment door she looked carefully

"sebastian?" He was asleep? Was he here all night?.. he slightly opened his eyes she unlocked her door "unfuckingbeilevable" she twisted the door knob letting herself in, he always has to fuck it up? I had one good night with some guy and he had to be at my house that morning?

"Y/n what time is it?" He said with a yawn stretching his body coming into her house "it's 6am on a Wednesday, what the hell are you doing here?" she slammed her door shut she had nothing to say to him, she started stripping off her clothes "I know your mad-"

"Mad? Oh mad is an understatement!, I'm fucking furious" her blouse on the floor, her heels off she was left in a bra and a skirt she went into her bedroom sebastian watched from her door

"I know I'm sorry for everything for messing up your life for everything it's my fault and I know I didn't know you wanted me" he lied, he tried so hard to not lie to her but it just slipped out

"Just because you had a bad childhood doesn't mean you could act like a prick whenever you want, you hurt people seb and for some odd reason you always choose me" She took off her skirt changing into sweatpants and a t shirt, she wasn't done with the argument that she felt erupting in her stomach

"I spent my whole life waiting for you, maybe one day he'll break up with Maggie and see I'm the one who truly cares for him, maybe one day he'll break up Ally and want me maybe one day he'll leave his cheating fiancé for me, Robbie amell had to stop the wedding and not the man who claimed he wanted me"

she left her bedroom facing him for the first time in a few minutes he was in her living room sitting on the couch his hands folded together his head down, once she walked into the room his head shot up

"If he didn't make his big fucking entrance I was doing it, I was going go take you by the hand and fucking leave y/n do you know how much it killed me?" He said pointing to himself "to see you leave with Henry that night when I knew I was suppose to leave with you that night I've never been so jealous of Henry in my whole life that he got to take you home"

"You should be jealous of Henry he's been there for me, and you aren't you never are and you know what -" he cut me off

"I love you I love you so fucking much that i spent years watching shit boyfriends break your heart and the next day I wanted to beat the shit out of them for breaking your heart, making you feel unimportant you've always meant the most to me don't you even think for a minute I stopped caring I never did and I never will you're a part of me y/n." His voice was loud at first and than became so soft, she loved him, however she couldn't take hurting anymore and take Henry's words 'Give up'

She folded her arms over each other on her chest looking across at him he was farther away he kept walking one step closer trying to reach her

"I love you, how many times am I going to say it I've never loved any other women the way I love you the connection is so core deep I feel it I feel the electricity running through my veins just hearing you speak, give me one more shot we need this one time" he grabbed her hand putting it on his heart "I want you"

"i think i should let us go for real this time, take these pictures down throw away the vase give you back your shit and take you out of my life, all you've ever done to me was make me feel I was never good enough like I never had a place in your life, yeah I never felt left out of your life but there was never a place for me in the beginning"

"I'm not leaving until we fix this I don't want to fight with you I want to resolve this" he said he was calmer than before, she let out a shaky breath not even knowing what to say what's gonna fix this? Absolutely nothing.

There was a knock on the door, she looked at sebastian and he nodded at her to open the door

"You never called me last night when I texted you I got worried" Henry said, his deamour turned as soon as he saw sebastian, he got a protective look on his face and a stare that meant what is he doing here, kinda like a "did you call?" And she nodded no

"I'll tell you everything later." She tried to calm down however she was getting more nervous having both men in the same room with each other when Henry was angry at sebastian for ghosting her

"No he needs to go" Henry walked Into the house "I came to apolgize what are you two fucking behind my back" sebastian said it startled the both of them

"guys please don't do this" she tried to be calm and then that's when the two started bickering she tried to make them both stop and they wouldn't what would throw them off?

"IM PREGNANT" both men stopped and looked at her with wide eyes "I'm not pregnant but you both need to fucking stop arguing I'm tired of arguing" she said

"We're gonna act like adults and settle this" she went into her kitchen and pulled out a quarter in her cookie jar, she never put cookies in it only change and buttons? Why did she have so many buttons.

"Alright heads or tails" she said

"Tails" sebastian said

"Yeah because you're a rat" Henry said

"Henry" she said in a voice that only a mother would use

"Okay" he backed off, she flipped the coin and it landed on heads

"Henry make your argument no interruptions." She sat down on her couch right next to sebastian ready to listen to Henry's argument.

"You've used us, played us, and haven't supported any of us in the things were doing." Henry said, he nodded

"You know y/n's getting really close to being chief executive?, you know Anthony's daugther is the best player on her team? did you know that Chris and jennie are planning to have kids soon? Not after the wedding but right now as we speak" Henry was trying to calm his self to actually say everything he's wanted to say since months

"You're not in our lives anymore and you expect everyone to forgive you because we "know" you? I can't do it anymore, sebastian I'm a 25 year old man that can't handle bullshit excuses anymore" he air quoted "know" because well we don't know him anymore, the person we knew left? He isn't himself he knows and hes trying to fix it sebastian let a breath to say something when Henry stopped him with a hand "I waited for months, for an apology from you for the shit you put me through the invitations and the writing speeches and and just everything.. I got a phone call that night from you asking if you should apologize to y/n" she knew, she knew everything Henry was going to say he was right.

"Didn't you know in your right God damn mind that she was the FIRST person you should've called to apolgize to, and you didn't you asked ME didn't apolgize to me but asked me if you should apologize?" Henry was getting angry "Henry" she put a warm comforting hand on his bicep

"I have so much to say and I'm just so in my head" he sat down on the couch opposite of them and y/n went over to him she put her head on his shoulder "it's okay" she rubbed his arm "say it with love in your voice and not anger, you love him I do to" she said in a low voice

"I know what I did I don't expect anyone to forgive me I'm trying" Sebastian tried to sympathize looking at the both of them "make your argument" y/n said, Henry was getting super stressed out laying back and looking towards sebastian "don't lie or make any shit excuses I'll know" Henry said he took his hand and rubbed his forehead ready to hear sebastian.

"You're an asshole did I lie there?" Sebastian said Henry threw a pillow at him forcefully "start talking dickhead" sebastian's reflexes moving fast enough for him not to get hit and he smiled, he sild the silver ring off his right hand holding it in their eye view "if you never gave me this ring I don't think I would of ever realized how much you all mean to me, Henry specifically without you I wouldn't of gotten through this year without all of you including Chris and Anthony who aren't here on a Wednesday at 7am in y/n's apartment" he shallowed thickly watching the two people he cared about stare at him in depth having all ears & eyes on him.

"Henry I'm sorry I am, i promise to be in everyone's lives again and fix all of our relationships it may take months maybe even years but I'll try my best, i'll really try for all four of you" he sild the ring back on his finger "I want you both to forgive it will take time I know I just need reassurance that you both will forgive me one day" here it was sebastian. Finally got to core of all of our problems

Apologizes.

I don't think anyone ever understands what it takes to apolgize to someone you love, time out of your day to apolgize to the people who love you & support you all the time it takes courage because you know you were the wrong one the one who started it the one who made these situations he knows and hes genuinely sorry I don't think the two could ask for more from him

"We'll think about it" Henry said as a joke still holding onto y/n's thigh, sebastian wasn't too fond of that he shallowed thickly joining in conversation with the two but he just couldn't keep his eyes off Henry's movements with her she was this person Henry had to touch and protect it felt so different for him because Henry was never this close with y/n before, it was a lot of flirting & playing around Henry always had girlfriends and this is the longest Henry's been single for a while....is he falling for her two? His brain starting a wildfire in his mind.

An hour passed of talking together, sebastian went home leaving Henry and y/n alone, sebastian didn't even know how to feel hes trying to mend his relationships with everyone but he thinks he's now losing his chance with y/n because of Henry he asked once and he didn't get an answer, he wasn't going to ask a second time, life was weighing on him once again maybe it's over for real this time he felt it he kind of knew it to.

"What am I gonna do" she looked at the television from across her home, Henry laid his head in her lap her hands mindlessly touching his hair, he loved the feeling "Thanksgiving is coming, is he the person you want to take?"

Her mind leaving her no choice but to not answer.

×

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[threethirtynine]

I feel crowded. Like the space around me isn't big enough. It's like I'm afraid to breathe or I might fuck something up. The last few days didn't go at all how I anticipated. I'm disappointed by that to say the least. Boosting all of the way there and back turned into making 4 stops altogether. Because of my inability to get things done, I decided to take bigger risk when the opportunity presented itself. That only caused more conflict though. It sucks because I had this entire plan in my head and it just didn't happen. I'm trying not to be bitter because I didn't get my way, but I can't stand not pulling my weight or not having the ability to help anyone else when they need it. As if that wasn't enough added stress, I got thrown another curve ball. Another booster. I understand the benefit of it, but it makes my job even harder. Another booster means each stop becomes twice as long, otherwise it creates a risk of bad timing and getting caught up. It also means having to wait twice as long or fight twice as hard to actually go to the places I need to go to get what I need done. And then there's the stress of being replaced on top of everything else. I made statements from the very beginning about having limited space with another person in the truck, but now I have another person and everything they boost too. Right when I considered holding off on getting a vehicle for myself, this happens.. I should've just went for it and got one, but I was afraid that would cause things to go back to how they were. Only seeing Chevy once every month or so. I was afraid it would cause us to drift apart again. He just came back into my life. I'm already going to lose him when he goes to jail next month. I just wasn't ready to lose him again already. Idk it probably all sounds stupid. I probably just need to sleep. Maybe none of this is a big deal but to me it is. It's what I bring to the table and who I eat with. That's everything that's important to me as it is. So it's hard for me to just pretend like it's no big deal. I walked away from everything else because I saw the chance to have everything I wanted. I had the chance to get back what I couldn't have 8 months ago. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's like I'm stuck in between my rock and my hard place. I can't even understand why he'd even want this to work at this point. All I seem to do is piss him off or get in his way. I'm also steadily worrying that my shit is gonna walk off. The hardest part of this is simply being forced to share my personal space. I just got to a point where I was comfortable in this space, and I have to share it with strangers. I just need to have somewhere I can go thats mine. Somewhere I can hide from the rest of the world when Im overwhelmed. Somewhere I can escape. A place where I feel like I have a say. There's no place in the entire world that I belong. I feel out of place. I just need the reassurance that I'm where im supposed to be and that you want me here. I feel like a charity case and I absolutely hate feeling that way. Right now, I'm so fucking uncomfortable in this space. It's not okay. Having someone tell me that I need to get the fuck out of the front seat. That theyre going to throw all of my shit out and that they don't like me. They're only dealing with me for you. The second you walk away, I'm being harassed. This is supposed to be our space. I feel like I'm in the wrong for just being here. And I can't do anything about it whatsoever. I can't speak up and stand up for myself otherwise I'm the bad guy. I just have to take it. It fucking sucks. I hate being in this position.. I hate that you put me in this position. That's why I question if you really want me here or not..