#It occurred to me while I was listening to the song My Love by Carlos Feral.

[lar-mx]

writing prompt #5

The room fell silent, Steph wasn't expecting the pain filled look they were giving her. The question repeated itself in her head a couple of times as her mind searched for a way to save the situation.

"I see you don't have an answer." The silence was still palpable in the room as well as the cold she felt when she saw those beautiful blue eyes lose their shine. "I should have known it was too good to be true, tell bru… Mr. Wayne that if he wanted to know about the projects so much, he could come ask for them himself instead of using a sugar trap." Steph tried to say something before an alert went off on Danny's phone, at which point she saw the panic that took over his eyes, before he ran to an adjacent hallway that led to a room, in which she was not. I had had the opportunity to enter. As she followed him she could see how Danny took a series of vials and several injections. She hesitated a moment before walking through the half-open door. At that moment she saw how he proceeded to apply several of the injections to a girl of about 5 or 6 years old. Steph knew just by seeing her that she was Danny's daughter. and some of the things they discovered while investigating the Nightingale medical company made a lot of sense.

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[ricksbowen]

one more time | pt. 3

IN WHICH: y/n’s parents are too much, the library’s a perfect opportunity, and ej confesses something in private.

INSPIRATION: best part — daniel caeser, hey there delilah — plain white tees

WARNING: this series will have smut in it and is pretty sexual all around ( read with caution ). there are implications of sex right off the bat, and everyone is 18+ and in their senior year. there’s also family problems mentioned.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6

“Thanks,” you murmured, eyes never leaving your textbook as you took the coffee cup from Ricky.

Five hours of studying in the library. In any other circumstance, you and Ricky would’ve opted to study at either your house or his. But after the new step in your friendship, concentrating was harder. One minute, you’d be listening to Ricky’s thoughts on the subject at hand,

the next you’d be making out on his bed, lips needy and moving quickly.

At least you couldn’t jump onto each other in the library.

You raised the coffee cup to your lips, feeling the hot steam on your skin before you took a sip. Peering past your book, your eyes landed on Ricky’s disheveled form. His hair, wild and completely messed up, was tucked under a dark green beanie you had given to him on his birthday. His black hoodie was pulled over his head, hoodie strings falling loosely down as he wrote in his notebook.

“I got another set at the diner downtown.” You commented, eyes darting back to your book. You could hear him sit up, his chair creaking at every little movement he made.

“You serious?”

“Yeah. Apparently, they liked me so much they wanted me back,” you explained with a crooked smile.

“They’d be stupid not to,” Ricky hummed, his comment making your smile wider as you looked down at your textbook.

The words all felt jumbled up, mixed in a blender to the point where you couldn’t even read them. It was probably the exhaustion getting to you.

Usually, your study dates went like this. You and Ricky, reading in comfortable silence while a few scattered conversations occurred. To you, it was important to have comfortable silences with friends.

“Are your parents letting you go to Juilliard?” Ricky asked, breaking the silence in two and changing your mood almost immediately.

You bit your lip, shaking your head firmly. Your parents were conservative and strict and had always set your sights towards med school or law school since you were born. But sometimes the most rebellious people come from the strictest parents. You wanted to pursue music — you had told them multiple times — but you knew you couldn’t. Not with them breathing down your neck.

“What’re you doing?”

The sharp voice of your mom made you freeze, all hope of going into the school now lost as you turned to her. Your dad stood behind her, his look almost as murderous as your mom’s.

They had always been on the more conservative side.

You shut your laptop quickly. “College applications,” you croaked out despite the feeling of sandpaper in your throat. “Gonna apply for Colombia. Just like I said,” you smiled forcefully, praying that your terrible lie would suffice against their looming look.

“Give me the laptop,” your dad stated, walking into your room and holding his hand out expectingly. You stared up at him, eyes wide as you slowly shook your head. “Don’t make me take it from you.”

“But,” you stammered, eyebrows furrowing and heartbeat picking up. “I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Forcefully, your dad took the laptop out of your hands with one swift move. He opened it, the page not locked and protected by your password. He scrolled up, your impending doom hovering over you like an anvil waiting to fall. Then, he stopped.

“Juilliard? The art school?” he questioned, voice hard as his eyes snapped to you. Your mom walked up behind him, peering at the screen. You could see the anger dawn over her face.

You were in for it now.

“They caught me writing my application,” you mumbled, flipping the page absentmindedly. “They yelled at me for hours; nothing new.”

Ricky sucked in a breath, knowing fully well how much your parent’s words affected you. They were ruthless when it came to you. As an only child, you were their sole focus. But that came with consequences and blows to your self-esteem and your mind.

You stood up, letting out a loud sigh and turning to the shelves of books around you. The need for a yet another book pissed you off, and you cursed quietly under your breath as your scanned for a book you needed. Your fingers toyed with the spines of the various books you passed, and you paused when you came to the shelves that most likely had your book.

Hands crept around your waist, and almost immediately it sparked warmth on your skin. You could feel him kiss down your neck, and you automatically leaned your head back against his chest to allow him more access.

Light as a feather, Ricky’s kisses went down to your collarbone before climbing back up to your ear, where his breath fanned against your skin. “You need a break,” he mumbled, gently kissing at the skin under your ear.

You let out a shaky breath, feeling his hands under your shirt. You turned around, not even blinking before your lips met his. His hands picked you up, gripping your thighs and pushing you up against the tall shelves of the library.

“No one’s in the library,” you breathed, a light moan leaving your lips when you felt Ricky bite down.

“And that means?” Ricky asked, his voice sounding so sinfully innocent as he raised his face back up to yours.

“It means,” you drawled, tugging the beanie off of his head and throwing it behind him. “We can be as loud as we want,” you whispered, the feeling of your lips against his ear sending chills up and down his body.

“Or,” Ricky drawled on, grinding against you and watching you throw your head back in ecstasy. “Whoever makes a noise first,” he continued, helping you tug your shirt over your head. He took a second, mouth slightly agape as he looked you up and down. “Loses.”

You hummed in agreement, pulling his sweatshirt over his head and letting it fall behind him. You kissed him passionately, locking lips as if your life depended on it. You took his bottom lip between your teeth, playfully pulling it as you pulled away. You let go, taking in the needy gleam in his eyes as you smirked. “I’m down.”

—

Sometimes it shocked Ricky how passionate you were about singing.

You had been singing for as long as he could remember. Your love for music was once a secret, hidden behind other hobbies like climbing trees or riding bikes up and down the neighborhood streets. It wasn’t until the seventh grade, when Ricky caught you singing in your treehouse with your guitar, did he realize just how talented you were.

You had come a long way. From having Big Red and Ricky practically push you towards talent show tryouts to singing nervously in front of the whole middle school with a guitar that was a tad too big for your arms.

You had stage fright then. The oh-so-bold and courageous Y/N was always rendered into a sputtering mess in front of crowds. You couldn’t perform in front of them, for you much rather loved watching Big Red and Ricky on stage.

But as Ricky watched you play guitar for a small diner with people crowding in to see you, Y/N L/N, sing. He couldn’t help but beam at you from one of the closest tables from the stage.

Alongside him sat all your friends: Carlos and Seb, Big Red and Ashlyn, Gina, and even Ej. He found time in his busy schedule to see you sing.

“You know, I never knew she could sing. Or play guitar,” Gina commented amongst all the commotion in their table, waves of agreement rippling through the group.

“She had stage fright before,” Ricky explained, stirring his drink with his straw, Big Red nodding his head rapidly.

“We basically peer pressured her into joining,” Big Red added with a grin, making everyone laugh.

“She sang at the talent show in like, the eighth grade,” Ej added, his eyes set on you on the stage. Your eyes met his, a nervous smile on your face that you hid behind a thumbs up his way. Ej sent you one back with more confidence, and in a way it calmed you down.

“Y’know, haven’t heard her sing since then,” Ashlyn commented, chin on the palm of her hand as she looked at you adjust your microphone with shaky hands.

“Shush! It’s starting!” Carlos hissed, excitement evident as he scooted his chair in closer to the table and focused on you. Various shushes went through the group, along with childish lines of, ‘You suck at whispering,’ and ‘Shut up!’

“Hey, I’m, uh, Y/N L/N,” you began, listening to the cheers scatter around you, the loudest coming from your group of friends. You beamed at them, their confident smiles settling your nerves as you let out a shaky breath. “I usually sing originals, but I’ve been procrastinating lately,” scattered laughs erupted from your crowd. “Here’s Best Part.”

You cleared your throat, before plucking the strings on your guitar and beginning to sing. Your voice was soft, resonating in the diner like an echo.

Ricky could see the nerves fade away as you began to play, your eyes shutting in content at the ecstasy singing gave you. It was odd, how much music affected your emotions in a positive way.

“If she doesn’t get a record deal in the future I’m gonna be pissed,” Seb murmured loud enough for the group to hear, scattered sounds of agreement coming from them all as their eyes stayed on you.

How could they tear their eyes away? You looked so simple, in a black long-sleeved shirt and a skirt that made your legs look amazing. That, paired with your guitar, made you a singing enigma for anyone who didn’t know you.

As the song came to an end, claps and cheers echoed through the crowd. You beamed, smile brighter than the stars. You almost let out a laugh at how loud your friends were, their cheers trumping over everyone and their claps loud.

“How she doesn’t have all the guys after her is beyond me,” Ashlyn tutted, shaking her head to herself as she sipped her drink.

“Speaking of guys,” Ej murmured, voice low as a conversation began between them all. His voice was only audible to Ricky, who sat behind him and turned to him with a confused frown.

“What?”

“Is Y/N, you know,” Ej motioned with his hands, trying to signal subtly to Ricky. It took only a second for Ricky to understand, his eyebrows going up in realization.

Since when did Ej like you? It surprised Ricky, but as he looked back on it, Ej always did have a soft spot for you. Not that he cared much; Ej was a good guy.

“Seeing anyone?” Ricky finished with a cocked eyebrow. Since when was Ej interested in you? In retrospect, it made more sense; you had always been pretty close to him. “No, not that I know of,” Ricky answered, keeping the unholy thought of you in his bed literally two nights ago to himself. “Why?”

“I dunno,” Ej mumbled, looking down sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “Just wondering. I mean after Luka, of course she decided to stay single.” His last sentences were quiet, more for himself than Ricky, but Ricky heard nonetheless.

After your performance, you bowed one last bow to the crowd before you jumped off the small stage, making your way to your friends and letting out a laugh at their exclaims.

“You’re telling me that you’ve had that voice this whole time and you still didn’t try out for High School Musical: The Musical?” Carlos scoffed, feigning hurt while you only hugged him tightly.

“My stage fright would’ve gotten the best of me,” you remarked, the smile of your face never ceasing. You hugged Ricky tightly, his smile almost as wide as yours. He opened his mouth to compliment you before Ej shyly tapped you on the shoulder.

“I was, uh, wondering if we can talk,” Ej said, his voice making the sides of your mouth turn down into a worried frown.

“Sure.” You followed him to the side of the diner, away from the crowds and from your friends. You were unaware of your friends’ eyes on you and Ej, theories already popping up in their minds.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Big Red asked, nodding towards you and Ej conversing quickly. He seemed happy; you looked unsure.

“Either relationship advice or actual problems,” Gina responded, sipping her drink as she spoke.

“Or something else,” Seb added, eyeing the conversation as if it was a dramatic movie playing out in front of him.

Ricky only watched on, curiosity bubbling in his chest as he watched you smile hesitantly and nod your head. Ej’s glowing smile grew, and he nodded to himself. You gave him another smile before turning to the group, smile falling when you saw their eyes on you.

You both walked over to them, your movements hesitant and your eyebrows furrowed while Ej wore a satisfied smile.

You all gave each other another goodbye, your hug with Ej lasting a second longer than usual before you walked out of the diner with Ricky by your side. He was always your ride when it came to your performances.

“What was that all about?” Ricky questioned nonchalantly, breathing in the fresh night air as you walked to his car.

“He wanted to tell me he liked me. He said he had liked me for a while,” you mumbled, voice blatant as you walked. You knew Ricky was looking at you, gauging for any kind of reaction, but you only kept your eyes ahead of you. “It was just something he wanted to get off his chest,” you shook your head. “I dunno.”

“Well,” Ricky cleared his throat, unlocking his car and helping you out your guitar in the back seat. “Do you like him?”

“I haven’t liked someone in that way since Luka.” You shut the door, opening the door to the front seat and climbing in. Ricky went into the driver’s seat, hands on the steering wheel yet not moving.

“I thought you got over him.”

“I did,” you said, glancing at him. “It’s just,” your voice trailed off, the memories you blocked out of your own head coming back in waves. You sank into the seat of his car. “I’m not over what he did to me. How much he hurt me.”

Nodding to himself, Ricky started up his car. Hey There Delilah started to play through his speakers, and you looked outside the car window as he backed out of the parking space. Your mood always deflated when it came to talking about relationships. Luka left you scarred in more ways than one.

Ricky knew the friends with benefits agreement allowed you both to see other people. But what you didn’t cover was what would happen if you met the right one while having the agreement with Ricky.

“Are you gonna go out with him?” Ricky found himself asking, eyes never leaving the road for fear of seeing you glare at him. But you didn’t glare like you usually did. You only shrugged, watching the buildings pass by. It was odd to feel so down when you felt like you were on top of the world not even 30 minutes ago.

“I don’t think so,” you said, words unsure and hesitant. “I love Ej — I really do — but I don’t wanna ruin what we have. I know it’ll end badly.” You turned away from the side window, opting to watch the dark road ahead illuminated by the headlights.

“You say that every time someone shows interest in you.”

“You say the same thing,” you fired back, turning to him with a cocked brow as if you were challenging him to continue.

Ricky shrugged sheepishly, eyes snapping to look at you for just a second before returning to the road. “Good point. But if he actually asks you to go out...” Ricky trailed off suggestively, making you snort in amusement and sink deeper into your chair.

“That’ll be a problem if it actually happens. But for now,” you looked at him, managing a smile. “I have nothing to worry about.”

—

TAGS: @tomshufflepuff​, @myrandom-fandomlife​, @softpeteparker​, @sarcarstic-space-weirdo​, @particularcth​, @lifes-a-party-youre-a-boy​, @paniniirae, @supersouthy​, @jointherebellion215​, @gabyer0309​, @hannarudick​, @broken-from-fandoms​, @complete-trash-101​, @ssprayberrythings​, @raven-waheda​, @timelordtardis​, @chubby-cheek-calum​, @nicole-lynne​, @loserr-likeme​, @whoseblogsthis​, @stxfxniexreads​, @cherrydolan​, @allaroundaddict, @of-outerspace​, @blueevelvt​

[seblos]

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach - ch 3/10

chapter title: tornadoes come and go, dance is forever

word count: 1,972

note: it doesn’t occur until close to the end, but italics is carlos, bold is sbe, & both is both!

[one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine (coming soon)]

read on ao3

Seb catches Carlos after rehearsal the day after his… interaction with Mr. Mazzara. They had been talking more in class and during lunch, as well as rehearsals whenever they had time to break and if Miss Jenn didn’t need anything. 

It had been their thing, now, to either drive Carlos home if they end early, or at the very least walk out the door and through the parking lot to their respective cars. It gives them a chance to catch up on whatever drama happened in rehearsal in person before they’re forced to text about it or wait until lunch the next day to talk. 

Seb had been absent the previous day though, and when he had asked Carlos about what had happened, Carlos responded vaguely about running through songs and the new Status Quo dance break with Gina. 

Truthfully, what came to mind was not either of those, but instead the conversation he had with Mr. Mazzara pre-rehearsal. Just thinking about it makes Carlos’s stomach sink as he hears the voice of the STEM teacher echoing in his head, reminding him that maybe you should spend a little less time worrying about your drama teacher and a little more time making some friends under the age 35.

He had only been trying to help, as Miss Jenn looked distressed (how was he supposed to read the conversation?) but that comment hit him like a wall of bricks. 

After Miss Jenn had shooed him away from the conversation and into the bomb shelter to practice Status Quo, Carlos’s head was pounding, only hearing those words over and over again. And of course, that had been that day that Seb was absent, which only made everything feel so much more real. He had put on a happy face for the sake of hopefully having the cast actually listen to him, but on the inside, he had felt like he was going to be sick.

“You ready to go?” Carlos asks, breaking his train of thought as he swings his backpack over his shoulders. He begins to walk towards the door, trying to focus on something else, like how Seb is wearing cute overalls today over one of his button-ups.

Speaking of Seb, though, he realizes the other boy is still planted firmly in place across the room. “Seb?”

“Are you okay, Carlos?” He asks. “You were fine on Wednesday, but I was gone yesterday and you just seem… different. If it’s something I did, please tell me because I-”

“It’s not you, Seb,” Carlos smiles slightly, although his chest feels tight. 

“Then what is it?”

Carlos sighs, walking back over to Seb and sitting down in the nearest chair. Seb follows suit, and he has to admit that Seb genuinely caring about him feels really nice. 

“Yesterday before rehearsal, I was just coming to give Miss Jenn coffee, and she was in the hall talking to Mr. Mazzara,” both Seb and Carlos cringed at the name (neither of them exactly loved him as a teacher) before Carlos continues. “She looked upset, or, like, freaked out about whatever he had said. I didn’t have any context to the conversation so I was trying to make sure she was okay, ‘cuz, like, you never really know, and um,” Carlos swallowed, picking at a fray in his jeans.

Seb, who was nodding as he talked, took Carlos’s hand comfortingly, which sent electric currents through the boy’s body. It was enough to make him continue, though.

“When I kept pushing Miss Jenn to make sure she was good, he told me that I shouldn’t be so focused on her, and I should try and actually make some friends. My own age, I mean,” it stung to repeat, even with Seb rubbing his thumb on the back of Carlos’s hand. 

Seb stopped all of a sudden, as Carlos was finally able to make eye contact with the other boy. “He said that to you?” he asked, painfully calm.

“I mean, not in those exact words, but yeah. Basically.”

Seb suddenly grabbed his other hand, fully tuning his body so he was facing Carlos. “You know that’s not true, right? I mean, first of all, you have friends,” he squeezed Carlos’s hands when he said that. Carlos opened his mouth to respond, but he wasn’t finished. “And not just me, I mean. Natalie, and Gina, and honestly Ricky, and Nini, and Ashlyn, and the rest of the cast. We’re all your friends. And there’s nothing wrong being friends with your teachers, as long as you aren’t friends with him. I mean, you and Miss Jenn are basically coworkers since she’s not technically a teacher anyway,” Seb rambled.

Carlos felt his chest release as Seb defended him and tried to make him feel better. For once since that conversation with Mr. Mazzara, it felt like the weight of the words had lifted a bit from his body. 

“I’m serious, Los,” Seb squeezes his hands again. “That was so mean of him, and its absolutely not true.”

Carlos smiles softly. “Yeah, I’m kinda figuring that out. Thank you, though, Seb.”

“Of course,” Seb returns with a soft smile of his own. 

They sit like that for a moment, ignoring how both of their rides are probably already at the school. Carlos tries not to overthink how casually Seb is holding his hands. 

“Mr. Mazzara did walk in while we were running Status Quo, and the look on his face was priceless when he saw us singing. I guess he assumed we weren’t actually good, but it was the best we’ve ever sounded!” Carlos says suddenly, and Seb laughs. “I wish you were here though, so he could have heard you sing. Your solo in the song is amazing.”

Seb blushes slightly, breaking eye contact for the first time and looking down at his overalls instead of Carlos as he responds. “Thank you! No thanks to your impossible choreo.”

Carlos shrugs. “I only give you what I know you can handle. Even without it, though, your voice is amazing. I love to hear you sing.”

“So, let’s sing!”

“What do you mean?” Carlos laughs as Seb stands up suddenly, still holding Carlos’s hands as he pulls him over to the piano and down onto the bench.

“You didn’t get to hear me sing yesterday, and you had a bad day, so let’s sing!”

“When you say let’s do you mean us?” Carlos asks, but Seb is already playing the beginning of What I’ve Been Looking For.

“You wanted to hear me sing, and I need to practice this song,” he tells Carlos, nodding at him to start out the song. Before Carlos can say anything, the song starts, and he sings.

“It's hard to believe that I couldn't see you were always there beside me. Thought I was alone with no one to hold but you were always right beside me”

Seb jumps in when he’s supposed to, still playing piano as he sings, and Carlos relaxes into the song. He doesn’t usually sing in front of people, but he’ll make the exception here.

“And this feeling’s like no other. I want you to know.”

Seb’s voice is amazing, of course, and Carlos is so stunned by it that he almost forgets to join back in. 

“I've never had someone that knows me like you do (the way you do!)

 I've never had someone as good for me as you (no one like you!)

So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for!”

As he plays the piano break before the next verse, Seb turns to Carlos with a grin. “I’m surprised you know all the words!”

“It’s what happens when you’ve been listening to the soundtrack for a decade!” Carlos replies with a laugh

“Well, it’s cute. And I like your voice!”

Carlos almost thinks he misheard Seb for a second, but they’re both blushing, so he assumes he did it. Before he can figure out how to respond, Seb starts singing again.

“So good to be seen, so good to be heard! Don't have to say a word!

For so long I was lost, so good to be found!

I'm loving having you around.”

Carlos holds a fake microphone in his clenched fist, mocking the moves of Ryan from the movie that play so clearly in his head as he sings the next lyric. “This feeling's like no other. I want you to know..”

“I've never had someone that knows me like you do (the way you do!)

 I've never had someone as good for me as you (no one like you!)

So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for!”

Seb is still smiling at Carlos while they sing, and for the first time, Carlos hears the lyrics. It makes him wonder why two siblings sing it in the show because seriously! Maybe it’s just him, or just the company, but this sounds like the most romantic thing in the world right now. He tries to not think about how close he and Seb are squished together on the piano bench.

They both scat dramatically, still laughing and smiling at each other as Seb finishes the song with dramatic flourish. 

“Too bad there was no jazz square in there,” Seb sighs happily when he hits the last note.

“Oh, don’t worry, there will be,” Carlos laughs. 

Seb sets his hand down on the bench, and for a moment, he glances at their hands merely centimeters apart. Carlos notices it too, and he swears Seb moves his hand ever so slightly closer so that their pinkies are touching. (Which isn't much considering Seb was literally holding his hand a minute ago, but it still makes Carlos’s heart beat rapidly.)

He’s about to suck it up and just grab Seb’s hand, but a notification goes off from Seb’s phone (it’s placed in the front pocket of his overalls. Has Carlos mentioned he’s wearing overalls?) Seb picks it up, glancing at the screen.

“My sister’s here, I should…” he trails off, standing up from the piano and going to grab his backpack.

“Yeah, I’m sure my mom was here, like, 5 minutes so me too,” Carlos grabs his backpack, and they walk out of the bomb shelter together.

They walk down the hallway in comfortable silence as Carlos reflects on the past five minutes. He had never experienced this feeling before, but Seb made him feel dizzy, in a good way. The blonde boy could put butterflies in his stomach just by looking at him, and all of their interactions made Carlos’s heart race and always made him smile.

He thought he had crushes before, but this was so much different. This was so much more real. 

When they walked out the front door of the school, the fresh air hit Carlos’s still burning face. 

Seb turned to him. “Well, this is where I go.”

Carlos nods. “Yeah, same,” he replies, and he’s definitely still blushing. “I’ll probably text you tonight about the chemistry homework.”

“Yeah. Or just text me, like, about anything,” Seb shrugs with a smile, and Carlos feels a little bit better when he notices the pink still dusting the other boy’s face. He reaches his hand out for a second, barely brushing Carlos’s shoulder as he says “See you tomorrow, Carlos!” before he turns in the direction of his sister’s car.

“Hey, Seb?” Carlos calls quickly before he can lose his confidence.

“Yeah?” the boy turns right before he can step into the parking lot.

“Cute overalls!”

Even from the distance, he can see Seb flushing an even darker shade of pink. “Thanks!” he calls back, and Carlos nods, smiling.

And even when he gets in his own car and his mom asks him a million questions about why he’s late, it’s worth it.

[karmarelationship931]

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E-mail this articlePrint this article Other links Businessman prospers along with 'my people'State's Hispanic population doubled in past decadeA sampling of two counties' Hispanic population growth

YAKIMA - A local woman named Esmeralda has seen her future, and it involves a man called Roberto.

So with love on the brain, she does what any modern woman would do: She calls her local radio station and requests a love song.

Matchmaking duties, in this case, fall on the shoulders of Luís Ezequial Muñoz , also known as 'El Cheque,' who at the moment is cooing into his mike: 'Hola! Quién me llama?'

The 23-year-old Mexican transplant and former Los Angeleno has arrived in the state's agricultural heartland, inspired by another sort of bounty: Hispanic radio listeners.

Here in the Yakima Valley and the rest of Eastern Washington, among the hops and apples and wine grapes, Spanish-language radio is the latest cash crop.

There are now at least 11 such stations, broadcasting from the valley, Walla Walla, Wenatchee and northern Oregon, said Mark Allen, president and chief executive of the Washington State Association of Broadcasters.

'Ten, fifteen years ago, there was very little Spanish-language programming,' said Allen.

By all accounts, especially the 2000 census, the airwaves are ripe for the Spanish-language surge.

Call it the Latinization of the nation, if you will. The Hispanic population has climbed by 58 percent since 1990; at 35 million, it is larger than the population of Canada.

In Washington, the Hispanic population doubled in the last decade and now numbers 441,509, about 7.5 percent of the population. Those numbers will keep rising: Hispanics, by far, are the youngest of the state's racial or ethnic groups, with 40 percent under 18.

In Adams and Franklin counties in Eastern Washington, nearly half the population is Hispanic. More than 35 percent of Yakima County is Hispanic.

More Central Americans

The state's Hispanic population continues to be made up largely of Mexicans and Mexican Americans. But community leaders and social-service workers have noticed more and more Central Americans: Guatemalans in Shelton, for example; Salvadorans in Aberdeen.

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There also are more indigenous people from Mexico, who speak neither Spanish nor English but their native Indian dialect.

The number of Hispanic-owned companies in Washington grew 64 percent from 1992 to 1997, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Hispanic businesses in 1997 employed 18,830 people, compared with 8,065 five years earlier.

'There's a maturation of the Latino community,' said Onofre Contreras, executive director of the state Commission on Hispanic Affairs. 'It's the same process you see that European immigrants went through. They start off at the bottom, at entry-level jobs. Then the working class becomes a business class and then a stable middle class.

'Having grown up in California, I see some of the same parallels happening here. It's nothing that hasn't occurred in other places. It's just that it's Washington's time.'

If the surge in population surprises some, broadcast companies have realized the market potential for some time here in sagebrush and orchard country.

All of the Spanish-language stations with the exception of one, Radio Cadena, were once Anglo stations that switched formats and languages.

'It's basic numbers. When you look at a market like Yakima, which is 35 percent Hispanic, you know there's a market that needs to be served,' said Bob Berry, general manager for Butterfield Broadcasting in Yakima, which operates five stations in Eastern Washington and plans to start a sixth by mid-April.

Berry used to run a talk-radio and country-music station in Grant County. It was Faith Hill before Las Tucanes de Tijuana, one of his favorite music groups now.

When his company, Mirage Communications, merged with Butterfield in September, Berry began overseeing Zorro Broadcasting, which plays contemporary music known as regional Mexican: some norteño, some tejano, some grupos, some banda.

Zorro caters to listeners between 18 and 49 years old. In its promotional materials, it estimates the disposable income for Hispanics in the Yakima and Tri-Cities areas - not including an estimated 100,000 migrant workers in any given year - is $554 million.

Granger's Radio Cadena or KDNA, in its 22nd year, is the only full-time Spanish-language public radio station in the United States. Billing itself as a news and educational resource for a vast farmworkers community, it broadcasts programs that touch on everything from labor rights to pesticide safety.

Because its listeners may be illiterate or semi-literate, the station has also produced radionovelas, or dramas, encouraging healthier lifestyles, warning of the consequences of unsafe sex or alcohol abuse.

In the early 1980s, KSVR Radio, broadcasting from Mount Vernon's Skagit Valley College, noticed a flurry of listener response whenever its student disc jockeys would speak Spanish.

The story was that older, non-English-speaking residents would leave their radios on 24 hours a day, hoping to hear something they could understand, said Rip Robbins, the station's general manager.

What used to be a part-time college radio station is now a full-time station with half of its programming in Spanish.

'Our radio is on in virtually every business in this valley, because the people behind the scenes are Hispanic,' said Robbins.

'People setting up in restaurants have us on. At the farms. In the warehouses and packing plants. I know, because our phones ring off the hook with people calling in for dedications.'

At the Zorro studio in Yakima, one mile from downtown, past the Greenway Bingo Hall, Arturo from Pasco is on the line. He wants something for his wife, and Carlos from Yakima wants something for Cristina.

Elite matchmaking in baraboo wisconsin. 'A lot of people who call us work en el campo,' said DJ Martin 'El Primo' Ortiz. 'We've heard stories about people listening on their Walkmans, calling from the fields on their cell phones.

'It's part of our nostalgia, this music. We are far away from our homeland. Our Mexico.'

Whistling while you work is one thing but, if you can, why not groove to Juan Gabriel instead?

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So at La Petunia bakery, the panaderos, arriving in the wee hours to make conchas, campechana, teleras and other pastries, flick on a flour-soaked Panasonic and listen to Julio Preciado on Radio Zorro.

Little bit of Mexico

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At La Doncella, a house turned hair salon with a map of Mexico on one wall and an Aztec calendar on another, stylist Selena Balentínez switches off a telenovela at her customer's request and turns on the radio for a noontime show featuring música romántica.

'There's a saying, `To remember is to live,' ' said Balentínez, a student at Yakima Valley College who is originally from the Mexican state of Michoacán.

'Sometimes I'll hear a song, and I remember it was, say, a song my sister used to listen to. It transports you to another time. It reminds me of my father, say, or el rancho.'

In the broadcast booth, DJ El Cheque, on the air from 3 to 7 p.m weekdays, bellows: 'Gracias, Washington! Gracias, Oregon! Llámame!'

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The phones ring.

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It's Teresita from Milton.

'Que rico!'

Florangela Davila can be reached at 206-464-2916 or at fdavila@seattletimes.com

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Times data-base specialist Justin Mayo contributed to this report.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Carlos Niño Interview: Earth is the Place

Photo by Azul Niño

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Carlos Niño is spiritual and intensely focused on the concrete elements of the Earth, presenting them as in congress rather than in conflict. The Los Angeles-based artist just released More Energy Fields, Current (International Anthem), the latest album under the Carlos Niño & Friends name, and it contains all of the elements you normally associate with Niño, from thematic calls to nature to deep ambient textures part of his New Age-meets-free jazz language. True to the name of the band, Niño is a collaborator, and the record features many folks familiar locally (pianist Jamael Dean, guitarist Nate Mercereau, perucssionist Jamire Williams) and globally (saxophonist Shabaka Hutchings, Dntel’s Jimmy Tamborello). 

Yet, More Energy Fields, Current is probably the album where Niño most focuses on the details present in our every day. That is, instead of just using instruments to remind you of things you see in nature, he includes natural elements themselves as prominent characters. On the fluttering “The World Stage, 4321 Degnan Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90008”, over pitter-patter raindrop percussion and Sam Gendel’s alto saxophone, he actually swishes water around in pans, a constant reminder of our physical connection to an essential entity. Both actual sounds of water and percussion that sounds like crashing waves comprise the appropriately named “Thanking The Earth”. Speaking to him from his home in Woodland Hills last month, he cites the sound of leaves found on a hike in the rolling, layered “Now the background is the foreground.” as exemplary of his new philosophy, taking something the average person might walk by and giving it a pedestal in music and in life.

What’s important, though, is that Niño doesn’t switch the background and the foreground; rather, he expands the foreground itself to include the background. In other words, there’s plenty of room for instrumental association, too. The washy ambiance of the gongs, electric piano, and saxophone on “Togetherness” gives it a feeling of warm familiarity, while the album’s opening and closing track use the same theme and begin and end, respectively, in an almost perfect loop, like the circular nature of the very planet to which Niño feels a deep connection.

Below, read my conversation with Niño, edited for length and clarity. We talk about the record, his relationship to nature, his liner notes call-outs to Shabazz Palaces’ Ishmael Butler and Beastie Boys’ Mike D, and his mentorship with New Age pioneer Iasos.

Since I Left You: What about More Energy Fields, Current is unique as compared to anything else you’ve recorded in the past?

Carlos Niño: I guess, for me, a non-answer to your question is, “It’s all unique,” but also, “It’s not unique.” It’s totally what I do. [laughs] Everything I do is unique because that’s how I’m approaching it. All the records have a variety of creation methods, including excerpts from live concerts. Each record has a big variety of potential ways in which the pieces get made. I’d err on the side of it being unique, but it’s also totally me: It’s how I hear things, see things, how I feel, how I put them together. I’d consider myself unique, but I wouldn’t necessarily say it all the time. It is what it is. It’s just me.

SILY: A lot of the ethos of the album refers to your relationship with the Earth. How has your relationship with the Earth or nature grown over time? And how has your approach to tackling that musically grown?

CN: I’m among the people that would consider their identity as spiritual, a spiritual being, a soul incarnate here on this planet in an earth human body. The entire experience is earthly. I feel totally connected to not only the cosmos but the core source of divinity in every moment. The Earth is really the experience. We’re here, living on, in, with, of the Earth. I find myself to be very reverential towards the Earth. I like to orient my whole experience towards the Earth, as opposed to the way other people might consider themselves an individual that has some sort of separation from their body and their body being separate from the Earth. I see it all as very connected and the point of being here. Why am I here? These are questions that people can talk about in many ways, but your question is very important to me in the sense that, yes, I am seeing this experience, my ability to communicate through music, words, and titles of songs as part of my Earth experience. I’m celebrating that. I love it, I appreciate it, I do most things in my life in an orientation towards protecting the Earth as opposed to neglecting and/or destroying the Earth. That goes hand in hand in how I take care of myself and others. That’s a total point of view for me. There’s always going to be a reference to an earth experience. I’m really into it. I appreciate it. I feel it.

SILY: For a lot of people, including myself, I grew to appreciate nature in a different way during the pandemic, hikes being one of the safer activities to do. Did you experience that as well?

CN: I’m saying all this with the most humility, and if it comes off any other way, please know that I care about everybody’s experience, but I feel like there were less people out, but I was doing the same things I always do. I always hike and end up connecting with nature and friends of mine who are farmers or environmental activists or involved in various projects at that time. I would say that via the particular kind of privilege that I have, living where I live, having the experience and mobility that I have, I kind of side-stepped almost all that was happening in and around [COVID]. I feel like people have had so many different experiences based on where they live, how they feel, how much television they watch, how much they listen to the people around them, whether they live in a big city, small town, or a rural area. There are so many factors on this planet that go into an individual’s experience. 

I would just say that when the shutdown first happened in Los Angeles, and no one was driving, and a good 95% percent of the population did stay inside, when I went outside, the skies, views, colors, depths of clarity were completely amazing and magnificent. I imagine you’ve seen pictures from one year to the next of very polluted places in the planet that all of a sudden became completely unpolluted, almost within a week or two, when human industry, hustle, and activity slowed down or completely shut down. You go from having a completely polluted sky to birds and species of animals that had seemingly died off or been missing somehow return to activity. To me, those are all really signs of how misguided humanity is in what it’s doing. If we cared about the result of what happened after two weeks of a month-long shutdown, we would make adjustments and consider how we could live differently so that was maintained. I feel like people are struggling to deal with so many different things, including poverty, mind control, fear, so many aspects, it becomes difficult for people to prioritize and say, “That was a glimpse of what we could actually have, live in a beautiful and abundant reality on the planet.”

These are very complicated subject matters and there are so many ways you can discuss them. I would just say overall, the simple answer is, “Not a lot changed for me,” but I did really truly appreciate how much cleaner things were for a period of time. I was hugely excited that Los Angeles had record rain last year. We’ve had almost no rain so far this year, which is really a bummer, but last year, during the shutdown period, we had such a massive amount of rain, there was flooding everywhere, but everything was just growing that much more. It was really exciting for the natural world. Like, “It could be like this.”

SILY: There are a lot of water elements on the record, like the sounds at the end of “The World Stage” and at the beginning of “Thanking The Earth”, and of course, the album cover. What’s your relationship to water?

CN: Again, I’m gonna use a word I’ve used in all of the answers so far: total. Water, to me, is the grandest element besides sound, but I also love so much the sound water makes, and the way that it feels. I consider myself regularly in tune with my water body, the elements of water that relate to my consciousness and spiritual being. It’s all involved. I’m frequently, as a musician, interested in creating sounds that remind me of being in a forest near a creek. The end of “The World Stage” is an interesting point because that was water that I poured into a bowl, and ringing the bowl [created] the sound. In other cases, it’s actual field recordings of water that’s occurring in its own natural state somewhere, from the ocean to a creek to rain. That’s so special to me. I’m totally into water, I listen to water, and it’s one of the reasons I wished for more rain. I realize talking to somebody from Chicago, who goes through an intense, profoundly challenging winter, you may have a different relationship with different kinds of water. Here, I’d pray for a week or two of your winter, but not the whole winter. I love referencing water, being water, listening to water, putting water sounds in various ways into my records...I’m not a trained drummer, but I do collect cymbals and other metals that frequently create sounds of waves, sonar, all things that connect to your question. “Total, bro!” It’s very California. Totally that. [laughs]

SILY: The percussion that ends “Thanking The Earth” is almost like waves crashing.

CN: Thank you for noticing that. That’s a goal of mine, if I’m in the forest or having a psychedelic experience, I’m tuning into things I want to report back about, and they’re almost all these natural, spiritual, cosmic, sonic things. “If I could create that sound, the feeling of being there!” Actually, in terms of what’s unique about this record, the song “Now the background is the foreground.”, that’s a very unique concept to be verbalized. The result of what that concept is being named, I’ve been involved with on previous albums. But naming that, I am definitely bringing things that people walk right by, that I tend to be really drawn to, into the foreground. Even the single [“Pleasewakeupalittlefaster, please . . .”]--if you listen to it, the way that piece came about was from a duet that Shabaka Hutchings and I did. We made a couple hours of duets, and I excerpted this one section and created loops around it, with Jamael Dean playing on top of it. When I went to go add my layers to accentuate the loops--a song like that is referencing DJ Premier, and it’s almost a hip hop song, anthemic, repeating a lot. When I’m playing those leaf clusters, which in that case was eucalyptus I found on a hike, I put it way up front. People were asking, “What is that? Why have it up there?” when others would have it so subtly in the back. Now, the background is the foreground. Here’s the stuff you don’t always here that’s a really deep energy. I’m putting it in the front.

SILY: In a way, do you think the way you bookend the record, with almost a perfect loop, gives it a dream-like quality?

CN: It can. That’s a nice way of putting it. It’s not something I intended. The original way that I conceived of the album ended with track 8, “Togetherness”. When International Anthem heard what I turned in as a bonus track, the last song of the record, they said, “Can we please put that on the record?” And if I did put it on, I’d want to have a little bridge, something that took us from “Togetherness” to that. So then I created the interlude there, which is a reference to my mentor Iasos. I feel like it became what you’re talking about, but before, it was shorter and more concise. Now, it has this bookend, which I feel great about, and Shabaka was totally supportive of.

Dream-like? Sure. Waking dream, water dream, earth dream, sleeping dream, whatever. You pick. [laughs] However it’s fitting, I’m with it. It’s accurate.

SILY: Both “Iasos 79 ‘til Infinity” and “The World Stage” reference ways you came up, the latter a callback to where you promoted shows and the former referring to your mentor. What did that mean to you, to call back to different parts of your life on this record?

CN: I don’t think of it so much as a callback, but I like your point of view about it. You’re making a connection/correlation that resonates for me. I’m like, “Good job, bro!” I was thinking it more that this piece is from The World Stage, rather than giving it some title when it was a complete improv and was enjoying it, I thought, “Why don’t I just call it the name of the place?” which I love so much and would pretty much do anything for. I did come up there and still play there and have in fact played there four times this year. I feel like giving it the address was fun to me. Why don’t I have this ridiculously long title, and there’s no way someone could mistake what it was? If I just called it “The World Stage”, some would get it and some won’t, but why not just put the info? Very plainly almost overstating the information. Nothing abbreviated, just boom.

The Iasos piece was the last thing I made for the record. It wasn’t really intended. I was working with something I made with synthesizers that reminded me of Iasos and asked whether it was okay to put a processed version of him talking in his incredible 1979 documentary...but that interlude was a bridge piece. I named it after him partially to your point, to promote him. He’s not on this record but he’s been on my last five. I didn’t feel like he needed to be. But because the piece felt like him, I named it that. It’s [also] of course a hip hop reference to [Souls of Mischief’s 93 'til Infinity], not for any particular reason. Just for the fun of it. If somebody who has insights or particular perceptions makes some connection, I’d encourage it. Anything you see or feel in it, whether I intended it or not, I support that.

SILY: In the liner notes, you mention “Iasos 79 ‘til Infinity” as being “inviting.” I felt that, but it’s also a disorienting track. Was that something you intended, and is that a balance you try to achieve on the record in general?

CN: I don’t want anything to be disorienting, but I think sometimes it is. I’ll relate it back to the nature thing. If you get a massive gust of wind while you’re on a hike, and it startles you, you have the ability in that moment to either enjoy it or run from it. I’m not trying to create anything someone anybody would want to run from, I’m really not--that’s not enjoyable for me--but I do embrace what I would say is more the shadow side of some of those sounds. I wouldn’t say that’s my orientation, but I do embrace it. I’m not trying to negate it. I don’t make dark or disorienting music, but that piece has the sense of you passing through a door with an amount of suction, so you’re partially having to exert a certain amount of energy to get through the door. That’s what it feels like to me. He literally says in that documentary that these benevolent extraterrestrials are around us all the time but won’t impose their feelings or ideas on us to block our free will--they need to be invited in. If you say, “Hey, come in. I do want to interact with you. I do want to communicate with you and learn from you.” That’s what he’s talking about. In those notes where I thank people, I thought it would be cool to say on “Thanking The Earth” that I want to thank Ishmael Butler of Shabazz Palaces, who’s a close friend of mine, because when I was working on the last Shabazz Palaces album, that’s when that piece came together for me. He has a song on his record called “Thanking The Girls”. When I was working on “Thanking The Girls”, I started working on “Thanking The Earth” and thought, “This is a perfect opportunity for me to shout him out,” even though he had nothing to do with the song. I do a lot of that. It’s not a misdirection, but kind of a vibe.

SILY: What about shouting out Mike D on “Salon Winds”?

CN: Mike is just a homie. We have a bunch of mutual friends. We did two salon concerts [with him] and his long-time partner--they’re not together now but have been associated for a long time, Tamra Davis, the director. They have a house with their kids. I put together various salon concerts that were private outdoor very safe open space events all through last year. I did 15 of them. Two of them were at Mike’s house. The “Salon Winds” piece was this moment in what we did that I knew in the moment I wanted to work with. When I got home, I excerpted it, mixed it, and knew it was coming out and was gonna be a thing.

Also, last year, I helped Mike co-host his Sun Ra special for his Beats 1 radio show. He’s a loving supporter, we have a lot of mutual friends. I’ve been up at the house to jam with them a few times. They have a whole thing going with his two young sons who are very active in music. We co-presented this concert, that’s where the song came from, so I gave him a shoutout. Just easy, referencing the vibes.

[nightrainlily]

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DAY FOUR: THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW

I’m writing this post from the land of The Great British Baking Show, and that’s all I can think about since landing in the UK.

but first, let’s backtrack to this morning: we woke up to some blustery wind, but Joelle and I ran anyway to Lerhamn and back (any further and my calves might have split open). after packing up, and while running, I felt the hurt that comes with leaving a place you love, but it was entirely different—it’s the second time, and each time might be my last.

of course I plan to come back to Sweden. but if I don’t make it back for many years, everything, from the people to the landscape to the feeling of the town, might be entirely different. something small: they might convert the loft house where I’ve stayed into an office. something big: Amalia and Erik might move away to other cities or countries. everything about this place which I hold so dearly, and which I was so pleased to find unaltered, is subject to change.

since we’ve been here, I’ve reread my last few posts from my Sweden blog. saying goodbye to my host-family was about as emotional as last time; I kissed Fellini and hugged everyone else with a promise to see them soon. I hope to follow through, and hope to return to Sweden before the changes mentioned above, or ones like them, inevitably occur.

after going through no less than four passport checks, we collapsed into our seats and prepared for the short trip to London. the captain somberly informed us we were delayed an hour due to tarmac traffic. about five minutes later, that time changed to just a quarter of an hour. we’ve unfortunately had bad luck with our flights, but not too bad; both times we’ve heard worse news (possibly no flight, delayed an hour) and come out with slightly better news (flight twenty four hours later, delayed fifteen minutes). I’m grateful every time we touch down in a new city because we almost didn’t make it there at all.

on the flight, I listened to some real bops. I’d like to say some words about a few of them, previously mentioned in my daily playlists, because they’re just so freaking good. here we go:

1. The Body Is a Blade - Japanese Breakfast. I love this whole record, and this song is a more recent favorite off it. the hook goes: “the body is a blade that cuts a path from day to day.” isn’t that just beautiful?

2. Girl - Beck. I love new Beck (Seventh Heaven made my top fives songs of 2017), but I also love old Beck. New Pollution, Debra, Where It’s At are all songs I find myself craving on a regular basis. I rediscovered Girl while searching for a song to round out a playlist with Christine and the Queens, HAIM, and Vampire Weekend. remarkably, it fits like a glove.

3. Nobody - Mitski. I knew this song was gold when I heard it, but my taste was validated by a podcast I’ve been enjoying recently, Wonderful. the two hosts are married, and the show is centered around stuff that they like or enjoy. just, like, nice things. it’s so refreshing and positive and cute and sometimes I hear about great things that I also like. Mitski’s sound is evolving, and I think I like it.

4. I Know - Fiona Apple. another Wonderful recommendation! although I was already a Fiona Apple fan, I’d neglected her ballads, and I’m so glad I took the dive into her discography and discovered this sweet song. it feels like love.

5. Águas de Março - Antônio Carlos Jobim and Elis Regina. the real reason I added this segment is because I wanted to talk about this song. it was recommended to me by a friend who plays jazz guitar and listens to a pretty eclectic range of music, and as soon as I heard it I played it again. and again. every time I hear it I get happy. it never fails to put me in a good mood, and I never fail to smile at the moment in the last chorus when she laughs as she’s singing. it’s such pure joy. all I can do is recommend it to you and beg you to get your Brazilian groove on.

now, back to the real content you’ve all been skimming for: The Great British Baking Show.

although it will always be GBBS to me, in the UK it’s really called the Great British Bake Off, for reasons unknown to me and every other diehard binger of the four seasons available on netflix. the show has been on the BBC, and now channel 4, since 2010, but we’re going to pretend that it simply ceased to exist when it tragically left the BBC. the series begins with twelve bakers, with one elimination each week, until there are just three bakers left to compete for the final. along with a single elimination, each episode one baker is also awarded the coveted “star baker” title. each of the episodes, whose themes range from chocolate to cake to pastry, takes place over the weekend, in three parts: the signature challenge, the technical, and the showstopper. for the signature and showstopper, bakers are encouraged to practice their recipes throughout the week, but the for the technical, they’re presented only with ingredients and a vague recipe written by one of the judges, usually for something obscure. the technical is the only blind judging; the other two challenges are presented by the bakers individually whereas the technical is based on ability to meet the requirements of the dish alone. each of the challenges is tightly timed and harshly judged by the professional palates of Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood, then comically enjoyed by Mel and Sue, the charming hosts.

I’ve thus far neglected to mention the most delightful aspect of the whole show: it’s filmed in a huge white tent in a park. I repeat: in a tent. in a park. whereas shows like chopped or iron chef are filmed in dark, concrete warehouses and are very stressful to watch, GBBS is fun and light and distinctly British. when something goes wrong, they say “crikey! that’s bullocks” and move the heck on. the contestants are supportive of one another and become friends. sometimes, they even help each other out in the tent. if you’ve never seen GBBS, please do yourself a favor and watch it. you’ll feel like a new person. and if my praises of the show don’t at least pique your interest, you don’t have a soul and you can stick with Hell’s Kitchen or Cupcake Wars, you heathen.

I’m delighted to be in the country that produced such wonderful entertainment. I think maybe I’ll watch an episode now.

cheerio,

amaya

1. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves

2. Loves Me Like a Rock - Paul Simon

3. Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush