#It's just such a foreign feeling because outside of my blog I NEVER talk about my hyperfixations irl.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Today was a good day :)

[cannellee]

Love this blog fr <3 wish their was more omegaverse on tumblr..

I have a request! Any alpha tokyo revengers characters x tall! Omega reader !!!

Can you imagine reader from far away looks intimidating because of their height but is actually a sweet heart !! I love this trope sm

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★

୨୧ alpha! Tokyo revengers x tall!omega! Reader (pairing : mikey, draken, baji & sanzu)

— a/b/o tokyo revengers headcanons

tw : slightly pervy mikey (?) & unhinged baji.

my masterlist : ☆

(aaah thank you sm!! I hope you like it🫶)

MIKEY

when mikey first met you, he never once thought you were an omega. a beta for sure or a submissive alpha at least, but definitely not an omega.

you had that intimidating look and an overall quietness that is so foreign to an omega. he was surprised when you first talked to him about a school project to smell such a sweet aroma around you.

probably thought you were carrying some sort of snacks and asked you to share.

your usually unexpresisve features softened instantly and you explained quickly that it was just your pheromones.

seeing a flustered look on your face was new for mikey. he might be slow at times but he understood immediately what you meant and that he was mistaken.

your height never phased him. he was an alpha, and didn't need his omega to be shorter than him for him to have confidence.

when you started dating, he was actually amused by the reactions you would give him.

mikey loved to tease you. you just seemed so sure of yourself, even though all he needed to do to make you loose your composure was his pheromones.

it seems you were very sensitive to smells, more than your average omega. and mikey knew it.

he couldn't help himself! you were just so cute crouching down to dig your nose into his neck to moment his scent hit you.

your scent also drove him crazy. with little to no care for time or place, mikey would often bury his nose into your chest. it's not his fault if your boobs were always right in front of his eyes!

he doesn't care if you're shy, you can't stop him from getting a good sniff. you might be taller but mikey still is stronger than you.

would then sweep you off your feets and carry you bridal style to yours or his house.

mikey loves it when you're both inside his bed or your nest, that way he can kiss you without having to ask you to bend down. that face you make when you weren't expecting his kisses is adorable!

forces you into his clothes. he loves when you smell like him, especially when you both go outside. his sweaters are often too small for you, but insists you look good with tight clothes regardless.

buys a few oversized shirts a while after...

mikey felt a sense of pride to have such a beautiful omega submit to him & accept him as her alpha.

he might tease you a lot, but never about your height, and those who dare act up in front of you are met with a fight, no exceptions.

mikey is unsurprisingly protective and takes his role as your alpha really seriously.

people often mistake you as a beta and that sometimes lead you to uncomfortable situations. others don't think much of it and think of you as an assertive type of person, they often disregard your feelings as a result.

that's not mikey's case. and his instincts and genuine care for you make him able to read every one of your reactions, even though he doesn't look like the observant type.

if you don't feel at ease, he will gently drag you away and take his time to calm you down.

DRAKEN

being taller than any omega, people would often subconsciously treat you with less care than your counterparts.

believing the perfect omega is someone shorter than them, most alphas never even looked at you as a potential mate.

you kept repeating to yourself that it didn't matter, that you would fine someone worth it one day. but you couldn't change the fact that you were deeply insecure.

you tried everything to make you look smaller, less intimidating, being sure you would attract more alphas, but to no avail.

when you met draken was the first time you didn't feel out of place.

being pretty tall himself and an alpha at that, he was unexpectedly the taller one out of the both of you.

he is also surprised about your height but doesn't think twice about it.

you're a sweet thing who needs an alpha's attention, and good for you, draken is just soo ready to give you that.

the more he gets to know you, the more delicate you appear in his eyes. your every moves are so captivating, slow and soft.

draken's protective instincts are always on when you're near.

he enjoys the fact that he doesn't have to bend down to kiss you. he will look at you in the eyes and tenderly put his lips on yours. it's just easier and more romantic that way!

being almost the same height as him is very practical too! he's your personal stress reliever, and you find yourself burying your face into his neck with ease at any time of the day.

draken lets you do anything with him. he loves making you happy and comfortable.

knows it's useless but draken will still try and help you around the house or when you're doing groceries to grab the higher items before you do.

says it's to avoid you dropping it on your face and hurting yourself, you tell him you can easily do it yourself but you find his motives very touching.

draken knows how previous alphas have treated you and hates himself for not meeting you sooner.

would give them the beating of their lives if he ever got his hands on those who hurt you.

how could someone possibly harm you, physically or mentally, you're such a kind omega, and so docile at that. your desire to please your alpha is so strong it drives draken mad.

you're lucky you found him. draken knows how to look after you the way a reliable alpha should. you can always count on him!

BAJI

baji is completely devoted to you.

I still can't get off my head how he's toman's n.1 boyfriend.

when baji first saw you, he knew he was going to make you his.

he thought you were the prettiest omega he ever saw and never once doubted your second gender.

most people would agree baji is a bit clueless but there are stuff that don't escape his eye.

the way you carried yourself so softly, your soft spoken tone, your natural kindness and the terribly sweet and fruity smell that followed you everywhere, there was no way you could be anything other than an omega.

while baji has his smart moments, he also is a bit dense.

probably thought he would've to assert dominance first, in order to make you look at him.

people couldn't possibly get the attention of an omega such as you, elegant and graceful, without proving themselves.

can you imagine how shocked he was when he found out you didn't like his present.

turns out burnt cars with your name carved on them isn't your thing.

baji starts to court you like a normal alpha would after that.

when you both finally decide to date, he's the most doting alpha you've ever had.

people sometimes look at you funny. you both form and odd pair, with a feral alpha baji and his tall and shy omega who's trying to calm him down.

when that happens you drown him in you scent and hug him like a baby.

he loves it when you do that, but when he cools down, you're back into his arms and he's the one scenting you.

if you were to ever kindly make fun of him for being shorter, he would waste no time in tackling you to the bed and making you understand that he doesn't have to be your height to be the one in control in your relationship.

baji has the upper hand in your dynamic, his abundant confidence is what keeps him away from insecurities.

he knows he's very much capable and can protect you if danger arises.

has such a soft spot for you, he thinks you're genuinely the purest and most loving person he knows.

when he wants to look at you in the eyes, he carries you with ease to the nearest low wall and makes you sit on it. places himself in front of you, between your legs and starts scenting you.

scenting is a big part of your couple's life. baji is all about claiming you in that way.

showers you with kisses and attention. your height doesn't matter to him.

SANZU

sanzu takes dating you as a way to prove himself as an alpha.

you're tall, confident and really beautiful.

he thinks he's way out of your league.

tall omegas like you are so rare, countless of alphas must have tried to get their hands on you but you still chose him?

that's it, you're bound for life.

the first time you interacted he was swept off his feet, he thought you were really pretty, sure, but your kind-hearted and humble personality was unexpected.

you were a breath of fresh air in his life of delinquent.

growls and threatens anyone who dares offend you, if they can't appreciate the person you are then there's no reason they should stay around you any longer.

sanzu with a tall omega mate gives off major guard dog energy. he feels like you're so precious you could be snatched away instantly if he were to turn his head, even for a small second.

probably a bit paranoid, but that's why he protects you so well. sanzu will unknowingly make you feel the safest you've ever been.

now his wardrobe is your wardrobe, he will buy clothes too big for him just so you can wear his stuff.

sanzu is always with you, insists that you need his constant care, that your unusual height makes you more desirable and that he can't let another alpha gets his hands on you.

acts all big and fierce when you're both out, he needs to keep the danger at bay, but gets all pouty at home and engulfs himself in your embrace.

he loves it when you're the one who takes care of him at home.

complains about how you didn't look at him enough earlier when you were with your friends. he's just mad he has to grab your chin to make you notice him more.

he will use his pheromones if you keep teasing him, spreading them so much your heat start and he has to carry you home to take care of you just the way you need it.

sanzu just worships your every being. thinks your height is the most attractive part of your body.

[celiciaa]

CHEVALIER MICHEL SEQUEL ROUTE....

CHAPTER TWO.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

Once we arrive in Obsidian, the land of military and ores, a sense of uneasiness begins to drift.

Chevalier seemed grateful to Prince Gilbert for welcoming us.

However, there seemed to be no intention of peaceful diplomacy.

Gilbert: Jeez…I got a bruise on my hand.

Prince Gilbert, who offered to guide us to the guest room, walked to the front while rubbing his wrist.

I could sense Chevalier’s seriousness when he turned red, not in jest.

Gilbert: How can you work for foreign affairs when you’re so bad at diplomacy?

Chevalier: It doesn't matter as long as I get the results I want.

Gilbert: So cold….little rabbit, what did you like about this man?

I suddenly got caught up in the conversation and braced myself.

Prince Gilbert’s red eye color seemed to be lit up with interest.

Gilbert: Who doesn't know the story of "Beauty and the Beast" at Rhodolite?

Gilbert: I heard that your love for him changed the beast, but I don't see any change at all.

Emma: I can't talk about Chevalier in a day, can I?

Gilbert: Ahaha, is that so? Well, let's just get the gist of it.

(…I wonder if there is some aim to this.)

When I glanced at the side, Chevalier made a soured/disgusted look on his face.

It's proof that it's all just an idle chat.

(Then I guess that's okay.)

Emma: Chevalier——

Emma: Is a very loving person.

Emma: He cared for me more than I could ever ask for…..

Emma: He is also a wonderful person who tries to come to a compromise even with values ​​that are never compatible.

Emma: Ever since I met Chevalier, every day is filled with happiness.

Gilbert: Because of Chevalier. Are you happy?

Chevalier: You didn't say that to make me feel better.

(The way Chevalier speaks is less tense…it’s embarrassing.)

Gilbert: But….I can see that you think more highly of Chevalier than I thought.

Gilbert: They say love is blind, and that's exactly what you are now.

Gilbert: However, do you know how cruel and heartless that beast truly is?

Emma:…What do you mean?

Gilbert: It means exactly what it says. You used to be selected as "Belle" to choose the next king.

Gilbert: Belle’s role requires an eye for character, and I think you saw right through the essence of Chevalier's nature.

Gilbert: But you know. What you saw was the tip of the iceberg….

Gilbert: Humans don't show their true nature unless they're thoroughly cornered.

Gilbert: If we’re talking about the infamous genius Chevalier, who is difficult to reveal his true nature unless he is driven into a crisis beyond what ordinary people do.

Gilbert: You won’t understand him as a person until you know something about him that you’re not aware of, right?

Prince Gilbert's smile was as fresh as the blue summer sky,

My heart, on the other hand, beats heavily as if I have swallowed poison.

(….Sounds like a declaration of war to me.)

(He said he was going to hunt down Chevalier…..)

Chevalier: That's a very interesting thing to say.

The air was so heavy that it made my breath shallow, but Chevalier snickered and brushed it off.

Chevalier: Don't talk like you know me. // You talk like you know about me.

Chevalier: Generally speaking, is this Obsidian’s way of hospitality to meddle with personal matters?

Gilbert: Ahaha, you’re wrong. That was just idle talk.

Gilbert: It's selfish to read too much into it, but there's no meaning beyond words, right?

(….Really?)

Gilbert: Anyway, here we are. The rooms in this row are your guest rooms.

Prince Gilbert opens the nearest door and invites us in.

The rooms are decorated in a subdued black tone, and there is nothing unusual about the interior.

Gilbert: You’re free to roam outside the restricted areas of the castle.

Gilbert: Forgive me for this, but there are no servants in the castle.

Gilbert: If anything happens, you can ask any right soldier around, okay?

(There are no servants?)

Yves: Come to think of it, everyone we passed on the way here was soldiers.

Yves: No nobles or servants of any kind were to be seen.

Leon: Obsidian is also known as "the land of deceit and corruption". I thought there were a lot of aristocrats in the center….

Gilbert: That was a long time ago. But now it's different.

Chevalier: That's quite an interesting mechanism.

Chevalier: Except for the absolute barriers between the royal family and the rest of the population, all people are equal, yes?

Gilbert: Correct.

(Such a dreamlike tale that it is impossible to come true.)

Chevalier:….I never thought that's what the emperor actually wanted.

Gilbert: Ahaha, I know.

(….Before coming to Obsidian, I, too, gathered as much information as I could about the Emperor.)

━━FLASHBACK━━

The current emperor of Obsidian is a self-proclaimed fighter.

His outstanding swordsmanship was as if he was from the realm of the gods, and although he was spotted on the battlefield, in the end, he is no longer alive.

He’s probably the most notorious villain on the continent who has killed more people than any other man, and he has a different kind of fear than Prince Gilbert.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

(I have heard that he is a man who spends his time fighting wars without regard for his people….)

(As Chevalier pointed out, there is no way they would deliberately correct the disparity.)

Gilbert: I got permission from the emperor to do whatever I want.

Prince Gilbert readily admits it as if it was nothing.

Gilbert: The hierarchy called power is the cause of corruption, isn't it? That’s why I decided to demolish it in court.

Gilbert: I don't want any unnecessary power struggles dragging them down.

(It's easy to say that, but is it really possible?)

Chevalier: I suppose it's possible in Obsidian.

As usual, Chevalier read my mind and snickered.

Chevalier: Obey or kill. That’s Obsidian's ironclad rule.

( ——……You mean all those who resisted were killed?)

Gilbert:…Hehe. I'm good at cleaning.

I was horrified by the sight of him smiling without a trace of apology.

(Now that I think about it, I remember when Chevalier said that there was a lot of blood in the square….)

(He's always smiling, but Prince Gilbert is the true beast here.)

My wariness continues to grow.

Gilbert: Oh, right, I didn't tell you about my plans.

Gilbert: First of all, I have prepared a welcome party for you today. Allow me to entertain you there.

Gilbert: Once you’ve rested well enough, we’ll start our meeting the next day.

Gilbert: You guys should have come to me with an answer to whether or not to join forces with Obsidian.

Gilbert: Tanzanite, Achroite, Kogyoku…..

Gilbert: In exchange for cooperation against this alliance of three countries, Obsidian will offer its full support.

Gilbert: I hope we can discuss the detailed conditions at the meeting, but our support includes our country's inspection.

Gilbert: Once we formally cooperate, I will allow you access to prohibited areas, including military installations.

Gilbert: Any objections?

Chevalier: No problem.

Gilbert: Well then. I've invited some of our country's influential aristocrats to the party.

Gilbert: That way, we will welcome you with our Obsidianite hospitality…?

("Obsidianite hospitality", he says….)

Prince Gilbert smiles and left the room.

The only ones left in the guest room were Chevalier, Leon, and Yves.

Then there is Cyril, the leading knight of the foreign faction, who is accompanying me as my escort,

And, Chevalier assigned Lucien as my personal bodyguard.

Leon: Welcome party.

Chevalier: I knew it would come in the first place. I guess that's to be expected.

Leon: Well, yeah. But from the looks of it, it's almost certainly malicious.

Yves: What part of "welcome" is this? Is he planning to fight us?

(Everyone seems to be wary of the welcome party.)

(….I'm also pretty sure there's something fishy going on, too…..)

Emma: But doesn't Prince Gilbert want to cooperate with us?

Chevalier: Indeed. As I said before, he wants to use Rhodolite to get information about other countries.

Chevalier: Diplomacy doesn't matter as long as he can achieve his goals.

Chevalier: Obsidian's "let's get along" is almost synonymous with "obey or I'll kill you."

Emma:…That's not fair.

Leon: This country is cowardly.

Yves: But it's okay, when one of us is killed, the negotiations/deals are off.

Yves: If the peace treaty that Chevalier had previously signed was destroyed...

Yves: Then Benitoite and Jade won't be silent about it.

Chevalier: With Tanzanite, Achroite, and Kogyoku all in play, I’m sure he wants to avoid any unnecessary conflicts.

(In other words, something bad may happen, but it's not life-threatening….?)

Though the situation is not reassuring just because it is not life-threatening.

Chevalier: For now, let's see what the other party is going to do. It's not like we're jumping in without a plan either.

Leon: Yeah. …..For the time being, why don’t we head back to our own rooms?

Yves: Right. We'll meet again when the time comes.

Emma: All right. Then——

Chevalier: You stay here.

As I was about to leave the room, Chevalier quickly hugged me around the waist.

I was enveloped by the scent of roses, and despite being in the land of ores, I felt a strong sense of Rhodolite.

Emma: By your side?

Chevalier: You know this is the safest place in enemy territory, don't you?

(….Of course I know. No matter where I look in the world, I will never feel more at ease than next to the Chevalier.)

Chevalier: In Obsidian, you must always stay by my side. Don't leave me even for a second.

(I didn't want to say anything because I thought it would come off as spoiled….)

Emma: Yes!

(I’m so glad to be by his side.)

Leon:….I always think that seeing Chevalier in this way made me have this uneasy sensation creeping on my skin.

Yves: You’re not the only one.

Chevalier: Nonsense. You guys should get the hell out of here.

Leon: Talk about different attitudes.

Yves: No, I'd get goosebumps if he’s going to be nice to us too.

Leon: Good point. Well, it is good that His Majesty the King and his fiancé are on good terms.

Leon: Keep her safe, Chevalier.

Chevalier: Who are you talking to?

(…Chevalier…)

When I clenched my hand, I feel something hard on my left ring finger.

The ring has a rose base and is set with small diamonds,

Chevalier gave it to me when we had our engagement ceremony.

(Truly, I am loved.)

━━FLASHBACK━━

Chevalier: I have and always will give you all the love I have for you.

Chevalier: Because I, whom you love and believe in, do not consider love unnecessary.

Chevalier: ——…Stay loved by me, as you will always be.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

(Just like those words you said to me on the day of our engagement ceremony——…..)

━━FLASHBACK━━

Even if you’re happy now, it doesn't mean it will last forever.

It only takes one little misstep to turn that love into a curse and make you a beast.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

(Huh….just now….)

(It's like something crossed my mind.)

(It must be…all in my imagination.)

After parting with everyone, I started to get ready for the welcome party.

Emma:…Hmm….

(I can't tie my hair right.)

As I struggle to put on my hair ornament in front of the mirror, a shadow falls from behind me.

Chevalier: Give me that.

Emma: Ah…

Chevalier took the hair ornament from my hand, and skillfully tied up my long hair.

Even though I was struggling so much, to Chevalier, it was nothing.

Emma: Thank you very much.

Chevalier: If you're that nervous, you won't be able to do the things you normally do.

Emma:…As expected from Chevalier, I can’t hide it from you.

(As the time for the welcome party approached, my heart grew louder and my hands and feet got colder.)

(This must be a bad feeling. And It is also unprecedented….)

Chevalier: It means that you understand the situation correctly. You don't need to think that this is no good.

Chevalier, who has read my emotions, wrapped his arm around my body as if he is embracing me.

His fingertips were holding something hard.

(This is….)

A pin badge is attached to the lapel of his new attire for diplomatic use.

(Chevalier’s…exclusive tiger crest.)

Those under the direct control of Chevalier —— for example, Mr. Lucien always wears a white tiger badge on his chest.

It is a sign of absolute trust from Chevalier.

(Not only as his fiancée, but as a companion to face difficulties together….)

Chevalier: Keep it on. It will only make you feel better.

Emma: Rather than making me feel better….I actually kind of admired it.

(The crest is a proof that you are a direct subordinate of Chevalier…..)

Chevalier: I know.

Looking through the mirror, Chevalier smiles humanely.

Attracted by that smile, I felt like I was able to smile/laugh for the first time when I arrived at Obsidian.

Chevalier: As always, you should be dignified // You can stand tall like you always have.

Chevalier: Don’t let the worldwide disaster get the best of you.

(….As if he’s casting a magic spell on me, I feel lighter.)

Emma: Thank you very much, Chevalier.

Turning around and kissing his cheek in gratitude, Chevalier’s eyes soften even more.

"Love is a curse" — I shook off the echoing voice in my head and squeezed the tiger's badge.

Once everyone had gathered on time, Mr. Roderich led us to the party venue.

The Obsidian Castle, or a fortress, is not originally associated with splendor,

But it was still eerily quiet.

In the unpleasant silence where the sound of my heart ringing to my ears,

Mr. Roderich finally stopped in front of the door.

The jet-black door was opened, and what lay before me was——……

(Amazing...it's a starry sky.)

Except the floor, the huge glass-walled space was filled with stars.

Unlike the fortress, this place seems to emphasize beauty over utility.

Gilbert: I’ve been waiting for you, Rhodolite.

Prince Gilbert greeted us with a refreshing smile at the center.

Surrounding him were many men and women in formal dress, not military. // There were many men and women in formal attire, not soldiers.

(But, I wonder. ….There is a sense of discomfort.)

( ——That’s right, they are not smiling. None of them have any facial expressions.)

Prince Gilbert called it a "welcome party",

But the people giving us piercing glances are not giving me the vibe.

Contrary to the beautiful space studded with stars, there is only a bleak atmosphere.

(And it's not just that they’re not smiling. ….I feel like they’re out for murder.)

Gilbert: Obsidian welcomes you, our neighboring friends.

Chevalier: Is this your way of welcoming us in your country?

Gilbert: Ah, sorry? You don't like it? Then I’ll just kill them all off.

(Eh….)

Chevalier: No need.

Gilbert: Is that so? Good.

(….What do you think of human life?)

Whatever I think about Prince Gilbert’s behavior, I am more concerned about something else at the moment.

Emma: Thank you for the invitation. By the way, about gathering us here…..

Gilbert: Hehe....you know what they say. Chevalier is the "cruel and merciless beast."

Gilbert: He’s a beast just like me, ruthlessly slaughtering his enemies to defend his country, Rhodolite——

Gilbert: We are all here because we have some connection to the cruel and merciless beast.

(…….)

What I sense is clear malice.

There is nothing but malice swirling in this place.

Gilbert: We were your enemies. And you were enemies to us as well.

Gilbert: Both are perpetrators and victims. But that logic doesn't apply to those whose family members were killed, does it?

My hands almost trembled, and I clutched them desperately.

Gilbert: To you, Chevalier is a kind, good-looking, loving man, isn't he?

Gilbert: But, you know, there are a lot of people out there who don't see it that way.

Chevalier:…..

Gilbert: To build a cooperative relationship, shall we start by getting rid of our grudges, Chevalier? // Shall we start with eliminating grudges to build a cooperative relationship, Chevalier?

 ▸       [  previous / next ]

[pokemontrainerevan]

Hi, hello, I'm Evan! (Introduction)

(This is a Pokemon RP blog, RP rules are in a Caard linked in my bio)

Hello! I'm Evan (he/him), a Pokémon Trainer from the Galar region! I'm currently travelling Paldea, taking on the Pokémon League, but I've been to a bunch of different places in the past too. My dream is to become a member of the Galar Elite Four!

Despite my being from Galar, my first gym challenge was actually in Alola, on a school exchange trip. That's where I met my starter and eventually ace Pokémon, Rowlet, who is now a Decidueye. I've done gym challenges in Kalos, Galar and Alola but I've never beaten the elite four...

I don't really have a favourite Pokémon type! I like all different kinds of Pokémon, but if I HAD to pick... I think I like the most Fire types?

I'm very passionate about making sure my Pokémon are all comfortable and doing what THEY want to be doing rather than what I want. I use Pokeballs for registration and Pokémon Centre reasons, but I find that travelling with my Pokémon outside of their balls helps to form a greater bond! I've been obsessed with Pokemon since I was little, and I can't imagine doing anything else! I also like cooking and travelling though - the latter of which is why I tend to move on from regions rather quickly. Galar will always be home, though!

I'll mainly post random thoughts about my experiences and my Pokemon, and what we get up to!

I've had many teams throughout the years, who I all adore dearly, but there's a few who have stuck with me on many of my journeys.

Archer, my beloved Decidueye, who was handed to me as a Rowlet by Professor Kukui almost 6 years ago now. As a novice trainer working my way through a foreign region, he was my emotional (and sometimes physical) crutch, and I consider him my very best friend to this day. Archer is a very kind-hearted and gentle Pokemon and will take other Pokemon under his wing in times of need, but he can be rather arrogant sometimes! As an experienced, fully-evolved Pokemon, Archer gets a lot of attention and he basks in it. Little do they know, despite his appearance and noble pride, Archer is a big softy, and will often fall asleep nestled into my side. He wakes me up early on Saturday mornings demanding to watch cartoons. He likes to think he's some mystical serene being of mystery - he is not, he still gets chow on his beak when he eats.

Scorch, my Scorbunny, is by all accounts, my real first Pokemon. My dad gave him to me after the bullying at school got particularly bad. Scorch has never evolved - he doesn't seem to want to, and that's totally fine! He's got, unsurprisingly, a very fiery and passionate personality. He'll cheer anyone on when they're feeling down in the dumps, and is great with kids - but behind closed doors, Scorch is an absolute menace. He'll chew on the corners of tables, empty Pokeballs (how, I don't know), and never leave any vegetable lying around because he WILL immediately eat it. This includes vegetables that get him sick - that was an embarrassing trip to the Pokemon Center. "Hi yes my Scorbunny ate an entire onion while I was in the shower, please heal this little idiot". He's great company and a fantastic friend but he has the IQ of a rock (affectionate).

My Vaporeon is called Link, and I won't get into how he evolved for personal reasons, but he's what my mum would describe as an "old soul". I feel like, if he could talk, he'd be incredibly wise. He's very graceful and polite - he chews his food carefully and slowly (unlike somebody, Archer), and walks with a tremendous sense of purpose. When he was an Eevee, he always had my back on my Alolan journey, and he still does to this day! If I forget my wallet, he'll nudge my bag, and he seems to always know where the house keys are when I don't. I always joke that he might be part Espeon, with how much he seems to just know! In battle, Link is not to be messed with. Despite his appearance, he ended up being the tank of the team, taking hits like an absolute champ while I healed up other Pokemon, and his Water Gun wiped Olivia's entire team. An old lady on the train in Galar once commented "Ah, you've got yourself a wee protector there, haven't ye?" and I think that describes him perfectly.

I never understood the "bratty Pikachu line" stereotypes until I actually got one myself. My Raichu, Nariku, would demand I wait him on hand and foot if I could. I caught him as a Pichu during sunset in Alola, and he's been a right thorn in my side ever since. He seems to change what type of chow he likes on the daily, and will refuse to eat from anything except his own special bowl at home - which is inconvenient when we're travelling. He HATES baths and will shock you if you try to clean near his ears, and he spends at least 3 hours straight cleaning himself after a fight. He's a right brat, but dammit, he's MY brat! He likes to be close to me, and will demand cuddles and carries at any given opportunity. Given that he evolved into a Kanto Raichu and not an Alolan Raichu, I think it's unfortunately safe to say that he was either smuggled or abandoned, and I'm leaning towards the latter, given his response to certain stimuli. I'll pamper him all he wants to make up for what is probably a terrible past. He's very agile and hard-hitting in fights, and prefers to end things as quickly as possible - he isn't a fan of stat boosting moves.

I met my Lucario, Jackal, on a rainy day in Galar's wild area. He was on his own, so I asked him if he'd at least accompany me to a Pokemon Center so I could get him some help. Lucario are smart Pokemon, so he understood me. I have a soft spot for Lucario - my mum had one when I was little. He joined my team shortly after that, and he's been fiercely loyal to me ever since. He can border on overprotective sometimes - if Link is a gentle and calm protector, Jackal can border on overreaction sometimes. He takes battling and protecting me and his team VERY seriously, and will stay up late into the night training by himself. I often have to threaten him with time out in the Pokeball just to get him to go to sleep. He likes to carry the littler Pokemon around if they get tired walking. He sleeps at the foot of my bed with his head on my feet.

I have a very goofy Lycanroc named Fenris. Similarly to Archer, he comes off as this very proud and noble beast but throw a ball for him and he turns into your average Lillipup! He goes absolutely nuts for belly rubs and neck scratches. He's also responsible for 90% of my email spam. Because he's a rare Dusk Lycanroc, I keep getting offers from Pokemon modeling agencies for him to fly out to Unova or Kalos or wherever for a photoshoot. Problem is, travelling that far would require him to be in a Pokeball for at least some of the trip - and he HATES his Pokeball. Nowdays, the Great Ball I caught him in is covered in bite marks and scuffs from when we've used it as a normal ball. Fenris has lots of love to give, and is great at calming both people and Pokemon down.

[dweemeister]

2022 Movie Odyssey Awards

And now to (finally) cap off the 2022 Movie Odyssey, here is the annual awards ceremony. To remind you all, the films eligible for the Movie Odyssey are only those that I saw for the first time in their entirety over the last calendar year. Rewatches do not count. Other eligibility rules (such as whether or not a “TV movie” versus a “streaming movie” can count can be found here).

All of these films that were nominated or won (except for Worst Picture) are worth your time and are worth seeking. Even though some of them might be deeply flawed, there are redeeming elements to them that make them wonderful watches. And some, like our ten Best Picture winners - I never distinguish one above the other nine because it’s just too damn hard - are my highest recommendations of the year.

Best Pictures

La bestia debe morir (The Beast Must Die) (1952, Argentina)

The Doll (1919, Germany)

Drive My Car (2021, Japan)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

The Ladykillers (1955)

Nightmare Alley (1947)

A Patch of Blue (1965)

Petite Maman (2021, France)

Sidewalk Stories (1989)

The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)

With the fewest movies I’ve seen on record in a calendar year since the blog began, this probably would mean that Best Picture would skew newer, as it does here. For the first time ever, Best Picture has more than three films from the current decade. Drive My Car seems to herald a return to form for Japanese cinema (whose live-action industry has lacked much appeal for international audiences until recently). EEAAO is an Internet favorite, and its fearless filmmaking has proven emotionally resonant while ridiculously entertaining. Little-seen Petite Maman is a low fantasy movie that looks at grief through the eyes of a child - and it is one of the finest films about children I have seen in years. The Tragedy of Macbeth was a stunner for its loaded cast and its deeply atmospheric black-and-white 4:3 aesthetics.

Outside of the current decade, Argentinian noir strikes again with the deliciously deranged La bestia debe morir, saved from oblivion thanks to collaboration of Fernando Martín Peña, the Film Noir Foundation, the UCLA Film & Television Archive, and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. The Doll represents Ernst Lubitsch at his early silent film best. It is an uproarious time complete with Lubitsch’s sly visuals, but I’m not sure if I could recommend to it folks who haven’t seen a silent film. The Ladykillers drips with British wit as hideous violence threatens to burst through its comedic facade, all thanks to a stupendous ensemble performance. Edmund Goulding’s Nightmare Alley is superior to the Guillermo del Toro remake in almost all the ways that matter. Tyrone Power’s perhaps career-best performance powers a moody noir that always feels a little off-kilter. A Patch of Blue is understated, but intelligent filmmaking by Guy Green. Compassionate performances from Sidney Poitier and Elizabeth Hartman will steal hearts. And lastly, Sidewalk Stories is a neo-silent film from African-American filmmaker Charles Lane as a tribute to Chaplin’s The Kid (1921). But it works beyond as a tribute to Chaplin.

What a slate of ten this was.

Best Comedy

Father Goose (1964)

Glass Onion (2022)

The Ladykillers

A Mighty Wind (2003)

Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday (1953, France)

9 to 5 (1980)

The Oyster Princess (1919, Germany)

Pillow Talk (1959)

See How They Run (2022)

Start Cheering (1938)

As I say every year, this category is not so much looking for the “best” movie as it is awarding the movie that made me laugh the most. The Oyster Princess is the lesser of the two early Ernst Lubitsch movies I saw this year, but it was the more outrageous watch. This farce comedy sees an American heiress’ father attempt to purchase a husband for his daughter, but it does not according to plan. The Oyster Princess contained the best title card I saw in any silent film this year: “A foxtrot epidemic suddenly breaks out during the wedding.” Trust me, you have to see the film to get it. Just behind are Pillow Talk, The Ladykillers, and holiday phenomenon Glass Onion.

Best Musical

Babes in Arms (1939)

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)

Big Fella (1937)

The Gang’s All Here (1943)

Ladies of the Chorus (1948)

Le Million (1931, France)

Love Me or Leave Me (1955)

Meet Danny Wilson (1952)

Oliver & Company (1988)

The Wiz (1978)

This category advantages original musicals, not musical adaptations. If it’s a musical adaptation, it better be superbly filmed/adapted or else I’m gonna have a hard time making a case for it. The Gang’s All Here is a 20th Century Fox musical that combines both original songs and songs from other films from Fox’s back catalog (which, before and after the studio’s acquisition from Disney, was always difficult to access). A musical riot, big splashy fun, somewhat thanks to Busby Berkeley’s direction and signature choreography (see: the reprise of “A Journey to a Star”). I also considered Babes in Arms and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (an adaptation) for this award.

Best Animated Feature

All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

Belle (2021, Japan)

Flee (2021, Denmark)

Fortune Favors Lady Nikuko (2021, Japan)

Hilda and the Mountain King (2021)

Lightyear (2022)

Oliver & Company

The Rescuers (1977)

The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

Turning Red (2022)

No contest here. Nominated at last year’s Oscars for Animated Feature, Documentary Feature, and International Feature Film (the first time any movie had been nominated for that combination of categories), Flee is about a man who shares, for the first time in his life, his experiences about fleeing Taliban-controlled Afghanistan shortly after the Soviet withdrawal from the country. A pseudonym is used to protect his identity. Some might have quibbles with the film’s artistic style, but I’m of the opinion that the way the story is told far outstrips any concerns I have about the animation itself.

None of the other nominees came close to matching Flee. But I would consider The Rescuers (the 1977 original) to be the runner-up here. In a stronger year, no way would the scattershot Belle, emotionally unengaging Lightyear, and narratively lacking Oliver & Company stayed in this category.

Best Documentary

American Revolution 2 (1969)

Antonio Gaudí (1984, Japan)

Children of the Mist (2021, Vietnam)

A Crack in the Mountain (2022)

The Donut King (2020)

Flee

The Murder of Fred Hampton (1971)

Spellbound (2002)

Three Songs for Benazir (2021 short, Afghanistan)

Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom (2015, Ukraine)

Flee does the double. The competition here, however, is much closer than in Animated Feature. To me, the very close runner-up is the Grand Jury Trống Đồng Award for Best Feature winner from Viet Film Fest 2022 (yours truly is the Artistic Director), Children of the Mist. Hà Lệ Diễm’s feature debut follows the life of a 12, later 13-year-old Hmong girl living in far northern Vietnam. At 13 years of age, she might be subject to the tradition of bride-kidnapping in Hmong culture. The director is mostly an observer to what happens in the film. One wonders what would have happened to the film’s subject if the cameras were not there.

Next up after Children of the Mist would have been The Murder of Fred Hampton and the experimental Antonio Gaudí.

Best Non-English Language Film

Ala Kachuu – Take and Run (2020 short), Switzerland/Kyrgyzstan

La bestia debe morir (The Beast Must Die), Argentina

Buffalo Boy (2004), Vietnam

Drive My Car, Japan

Flee, Denmark

Ganashatru (An Enemy of the People) (1989), India

Loves of a Blonde (1965), Czechoslovakia

Memoria (2021), Colombia

Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday, France

Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom, Ukraine

Let’s spotlight a few others here I haven’t mentioned yet. Nguyễn-Võ Minh’s Buffalo Boy is a coming-of-age tale in far southern rural Vietnam that goes about its drama methodically, capturing a place and time so unlike anything you will find in the movies. Like an American Western, Buffalo Boy asks questions of morality and masculinity in an unforgiving landscape. Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot or Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday is Jacques Tati's introduction of his iconic character - the silent, pipe-smoking, behatted, clumsy M. Hulot. The best Hulot movie would come later, but so began the legend of one of the most important silent comic protagonists in filmmaking.

Best Silent Film

The Doll

The Oyster Princess

Sidewalk Stories

Three Women (1924)

I wasn’t too much a fan of Three Women, but I wasn’t able to get to many silent films in 2022. Hopefully that changes for the next year.

Personal Favorite Film

The Ballad of Cable Hogue (1970)

Drive My Car

Glass Onion

Go for Broke! (1951)

Hilda and the Mountain King

The Ladykillers

The Masque of Red Death (1964)

Misterios de ultratumba (Black Pit of Dr. M) (1959, Mexico)

A Patch of Blue

Time After Time (1979)

I’ll always point out that the films I considered to be the best of what I’ve seen in a calendar year aren’t necessarily my favorites. Too many film critics conflate the quality of the films they see with their personal preferences. There’s a strict separation for me. This year, Roger Corman’s The Masque of Red Death - starring Vincent Price and distributed by American International Pictures (AIP) - takes the cake as my personal favorite. AIP made eight Edgar Allan Poe adaptations from 1960-1964; each one directed by Corman and starring Price, each one not strictly keeping to Poe’s text. I’m a fan of Poe, and don’t expect a strict adaptation from the AIP/Corman/Price movies. The garish Technicolor? The complete commitment to character from Price though he’s surrounded by other actors who can’t act half as good as him? The sumptuous costuming and production design for this gothic horror movie? Couldn’t get enough of it.

Close behind were Glass Onion and the delightful sci-fi Time After Time, which imagines what would’ve happened if H.G. Wells actually built a time machine and transported himself to late ‘70s San Francisco. Now only if they can get a home media release of Misterios de ultratumba with English subtitles, because what a treat that movie was.

Best Director

Román Viñoly Barreto, La bestia debe morir

Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog (2021)

The Daniels, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Edmund Goulding, Nightmare Alley (1947)

Ryûsuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car

Ernst Lubitsch, The Doll

Alexander Mackendrick, The Ladykillers

Céline Sciamma, Petite Maman

Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans (2022)

Jacques Tati, Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday

This category usually aligns pretty closely with Best Picture. Never nominated in this category and having never won before, it’s Ernst Lubitsch who takes Best Director this year for his saucy and vivacious silent romantic comedy. Lubitsch was a foundational director when it came to comedies in cinema, and I don’t a lot of contemporary filmmakers know enough about him or appreciate him enough. What an achievement too, to have made The Doll only a year after the conclusion of the Great War and the economic turmoil Germany was facing then.

Runner-up would have been Hamaguchi, and perhaps Mackendrick after that.

Best Acting Ensemble

The Ballad of Cable Hogue

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Drive My Car

Everything Everywhere All At Once

The Fabelmans

Glass Onion

The Ladykillers

A Mighty Wind

Nightmare Alley (1947)

9 to 5

Hats off to the gangsters played by Alec Guinness, Cecil Parker, Herbert Lom, Danny Green, and Peter Sellers. And a huge ovation for Katie Johnson, who plays the old lady who gives their “string quintet” lodging. She is incredible and terrifically funny in this. Perfectly cast, incredibly acted, dripping with comedic sensibilities threatening to explode into violence (at least from the men’s side of things), they take Best Acting Ensemble.

This was a close call though, as several others had a shout to win here.

Best Actor

Austin Butler, Elvis (2022)

Soumitra Chatterjee, Ganashatru (An Enemy of the People)

Cary Grant, Penny Serenade (1941)

Alec Guinness, The Ladykillers

Narciso Ibáñez Menta, La bestia debe morir

Hidetoshi Nishijima, Drive My Car

Sidney Poitier, A Patch of Blue

Tyrone Power, Nightmare Alley (1947)

Jason Robards, The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Arguably Tyrone Power’s finest few hours in any movie. As the scheming con man who stumbles his way into a carnival, this film is extremely removed from Power’s roles as crowd-pleasing, romantic, dark-and-handsome, swashbuckling heroes at his home studio 20th Century Fox. Power said later in life that Nightmare Alley was his favorite of all the films he made, and it is easy to see why.

I was also strongly considering Chatterjee, Menta, Nishijima, and Washington as well here.

Best Actress

Joan Crawford, Johnny Guitar (1954)

Doris Day, Pillow Talk

Irene Dunne, Penny Serenade

Elizabeth Hartman, A Patch of Blue

Katie Johnson, The Ladykillers

Frances McDormand, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Tôko Miura, Drive My Car

Barbara Stanwyck, No Man of Her Own (1950)

Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans

Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All At Once

So often the talk around Doris Day is to liken her to that “prudish innocent blonde that your mother/grandmother wanted to be”. That is reductive, and ignores her incredible dramatic (I almost double-nominated her here for Love Me or Leave Me, which was a dramatic role) and comedic talents. And she is something else here in Pillow Talk - a raunchy (for the time) romcom that helped contribute to the demise of Hollywood’s self-censoring Hays Code. Comedic timing? Perfect. Facial and bodily acting? Exactly what the part calls for and then some. Pillow Talk was the first of three groundbreaking romcoms she made with leading star Rock Hudson and supporting Actor Tony Randall (1961′s Lover Come Back and 1964′s Send Me No Flowers).

So many choices here, with almost every actress nominated here having a case to win it. This was a difficult decision.

Best Supporting Actor

Guillermo Battaglia, La bestia debe morir

Lyle Bettger, No Man of Her Own

Bobby Darin, Pressure Point (1962)

Troy Kotsur, CODA (2021)

Masaki Okada, Drive My Car

Nathán Pinzón, El vampiro negro (1953, Argentina)

Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Tony Randall, Pillow Talk

Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog

David Warner, The Ballad of Cable Hogue

As I joke every year, this is the category that favors villains. The winner this year is no different. If you have seen Fritz Lang’s M (1931, Germany), then I don’t have to say much other than that Nathán Pinzón plays the Peter Lorre character in this adaptation of M. Pinzón was a longtime character actor well-known to Argentinian audiences, but virtually nowhere else. In Latin American cinema at this time, “melodrama” is not a pejorative term when it comes to the acting style. The default in this era is to be histrionic. So how startling it is to see Pinzón play his role - a serial killer - quietly, with sadness and pathos to spare. 

His countryman, Guillermo Battaglia, also has a loathsome part to play in another Argentinian noir, and was close to notching this win. So too were Quan and Warner.

Best Supporting Actress

Gloria Castilla, El vampiro negro

Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin

Aunjanue Ellis, King Richard

Kathryn Hunter, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Julie London, The Red House (1947)

Mercedes McCambridge, Johnny Guitar

Nina Meurisse, Petite Maman

Edna May Oliver, Drums Along the Mohawk (1939)

Park Yoo-rim, Drive My Car

Shelley Winters, A Patch of Blue

Fiery, antagonistic, scene-stealing. That’s Mercedes McCambridge in Johnny Guitar for you. In the battle of feminine Western intelligence and will, McCambridge’s character may be the loser in the end, but the performance is an absolute winner. Colored by repressed sexuality (which has lent many queer interpretations between her character’s relationship to Crawford’s) and a stiffness that works in the context of the film, this was a memorable performance from McCambridge. Condon, Ellis, Hunter, and London were my next choices.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Nguyễn-Võ Minh, Buffalo Boy

Hanns Kräly and Ernst Lubitsch, The Doll

Ryûsuke Hamaguchi and Takamasa Oe, Drive My Car

Satyajit Ray, Ganashatru (An Enemy of the People)

Miloš Forman, Jaroslav Papoušek, Ivan Passer, and Václav Šašek, Loves of a Blonde

Jules Furthman, Nightmare Alley (1947)

Guy Green, A Patch of Blue

Jane Campion and Thomas Savage, The Power of the Dog

Nicholas Meyer, Time After Time

Alberto Etchebehere and Román Viñoly Barreto, El vampiro negro

A touching, meditative from Hamaguchi and Oe gets the Adapted Screenplay crown, over very stiff competition. Closest competitors, to me, were Loves of a Blonde and Nightmare Alley.

Best Original Screenplay

Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin

Ron Shelton, Bull Durham (1988)

The Daniels, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner, The Fabelmans

William Rose and Jimmy O’Connor,The Ladykillers

Colin Higgins and Patricia Resnick, 9 to 5

Jordan Peele, Nope (2022)

Céline Sciamma, Petite Maman

Stanley Shapiro and Maurice Richlin, Pillow Talk

Charles Lane, Sidewalk Stories

Steven Spielberg has become so legendary, he’s come full circle: audiences and critics and historians now take him for granted. The Fabelmans remains in theaters as of the writing of this sentence, and it’s going to make very little money (blame COVID, a moviegoing culture that only goes to theaters when it’s mainstream American animation or superheroes, etc.). But it’s a beautiful screenplay from him and Kushner, exploring how filmmaking was a means that allowed him to understand his friends and family, and all the childhood trauma that emanated from both.

After that, I might have given this to The Ladykillers or Petite Maman on another day.

Best Cinematography

Alberto Etchebehere, La bestia debe morir

Yves Cape, Buffalo Boy

Hidetoshi Shinomiya, Drive My Car

Bert Glennon and Ray Rennahan, Drums Along the Mohawk

Harry Stradling, Sr., Johnny Guitar

Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, Memoria

Victor Herrera, Misterios de ultratumba (Black Pit of Dr. M)

Lee Garmes, Nightmare Alley (1947)

Ari Wegner, The Power of the Dog

Gabriel Figueroa, The Scapular (1968, Mexico)

In his first appearance in this category, arguably Mexico’s greatest cinematographer ever takes the prize. Figueroa started out as a still photographer when, in the 1930s, he was introduced to filmmaking by his friends. He took some time in the late 1930s to earn a scholarship and study under Gregg Toland (1940′s The Grapes of Wrath, 1941′s Citizen Kane) for one year. He came home to Mexico and became a black-and-white cinematography specialist. And in The Scapular comes some of the most evocative, terrifying, and awe-inspiring images I’ve seen in a black-and-white film. All this after that format was already losing momentum in Hollywood itself. Fantastic work.

After Figueroa, I was thinking  perhaps Mukdeeprom, Garmes, or Cape.

Best Film Editing

David Brenner, James Cameron, John Refoua, and Stephen E. Rivkin, Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Paul Rogers, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Sarah Broshar and Michael Kahn, The Fabelmans

Ray Curtiss, The Gang’s All Here

Bob Ducsay, Glass Onion

José Serra, La bestia debe morir

Pamela Martin, King Richard

Miroslav Hájek, Loves of a Blonde

Nicholas Monsour, Nope

Joel Coen and Lucian Johnston, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Best to watch it yourself and see what I mean. EEAAO would be an absolute mess without its terrific editing. Avatar, The Gang’s All Here, and The Tragedy of Macbeth were next considered.

Best Adaptation or Musical Score

George Burns, Babes in Toyland (1961)

Carol Hall, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Charles Henderson and Alfred Newman, The Gang’s All Here

George Duning, Ladies of the Chorus

George Stoll and Robert Van Eps, Love Me or Leave Me

Eugen Illin, Loves of a Blonde

Tom Halm, A Mighty Wind

Ernest Irving, The Proud Valley (1940)

George Parrish, Start Cheering

Charlie Smalls, The Wiz

In a category that advantages original musicals over adaptations and combination scores or original and adapted musical, it’s an original musical mockumentary that wins here. If I learned anything about my followers over MOABOS, it’s that many of them don’t like American folk music. Alas, for the amount of songs composed for this film, and for the instrumental fidelity to the American folk tradition, A Mighty Wind blows the competition away.

Well, mostly. The Gang’s All Here and Love Me or Leave Me had a decent chance, too.

Best Original Score

Terence Blanchard, The Woman King (2022)

Elmer Bernstein, The Black Cauldron (1985)

Bruce Broughton, The Rescuers Down Under

Simon Franglen, Avatar: The Way of Water

Michael Giacchino, The Batman (2022)

Jerry Goldsmith, A Patch of Blue

Marc Marder, Sidewalk Stories

Miklós Rózsa, The Red House

Miklós Rózsa, Time After Time

Victor Young, Johnny Guitar

Okay, some of my friends, family, and followers didn’t like “Johnny Guitar”. But Victor Young’s score to that movie incorporated the central tune gorgeously across the film’s runtime. A rumbling, dramatic dynamo of a score fits the action and dialogue scenes beautifully, and wins for the second time in this category in as many attempts (in 2013, Young won for his score to another Western, 1953′s Shane).

Rózsa for Time After Time, Blanchard, and Franglen were also under consideration as the winners here.

Best Original Song

“I’ll Never Stop Loving You”, music by Nicholas Brodszky, lyrics by Sammy Cahn, Love Me or Leave Me

“Island in the Sun”, music and lyrics by Harry Belafonte and Irving Burgie, Island in the Sun (1957)

“Johnny Guitar”, music by Victor Young, lyrics by Peggy Lee, Johnny Guitar

“A Journey to a Star”, music by Harry Warren, lyrics by Leo Robin, The Gang’s All Here

“A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow”, music and lyrics by Michael McKean and Annette O’Toole, A Mighty Wind

“Love Survives”, music and lyrics by Al Kasha, Joel Hirschhorn, Mike Curb, and Michael Lloyd, All Dogs Go to Heaven

“9 to 5”, music and lyrics by Dolly Parton, 9 to 5

“Someone’s Waiting for You”, music by Sammy Fain, lyrics by Carol Connors and Ayn Robbins, The Rescuers

“Tomorrow is the Song I Sing”, music by Jerry Goldsmith, lyrics by Richard Gillis, The Ballad of Cable Hogue

“Why Should I Worry?”, music and lyrics by Dan Hartman and Charlie Midnight, Oliver & Company

My thanks again to those of you who participated in the Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song’s (MOABOS) tenth edition. I certainly hope you all had a lot of fun listening and watching, and that you might have learned something or became interested in a film along the way.

Details for this category here.

Best Costume Design

Christof Roche-Gordon, Death on the Nile (2022)

Catherine Martin, Elvis

Shirley Kurata, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Eugene Joseff, The Gang’s All Here

Uncredited, Ladies of the Chorus

Laura Nightingale, The Masque of Red Death

Luis Sequeira, Nightmare Alley (2021)

Uncredited, The Oyster Princess

Kym Barrett, Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

Gersha Phillips, The Woman King

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Pat McNalley and Ruth Sandifer, Babes in Toyland

Pete Altobelli, Cindy Baggett, Marvin G. Westmore, Irene De’Atley, and Barbara Lorenz, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Michelle Chung and Anissa Salazar, Everything Everywhere All At Once

Guy Pearce, The Gang’s All Here

Helen Hunt, Ladies of the Chorus

Uncredited, Le Million

Evangelina Garibay and Agripina Lozada, Misterios de ultratumba (Black Pit of Dr. M)

Carolyn Cousins, See How They Run

Lesley Vanderwalt, Three Thousand Years of Longing

Babalwa Mtshiselwa and Louisa V. Anthony, The Woman King

Best Production Design                                        

Kurt Richter, The Doll

Catherine Martin, Karen Murphy, Ian Gracie, and Damien Drew, Elvis

Rick Heinrichs and Andrew Bennett, Glass Onion

Jim Morahan, The Ladykillers

Lazare Meerson, Le Million

Tamara Deverell and Brandt Gordon, Nightmare Alley (2021)

Rochus Gliese and Kurt Richter, The Oyster Princess

Wilfred Shingleton, The Proud Valley

Roger Ford, Nicholas Dare, and Sophie Nash, Three Thousand Years of Longing

 Stefan Dechant, Jason T. Clark, and Christina Ann Wilson, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Achievement in Visual Effects

Avatar: The Way of Water

The Batman

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Nope

Robin Robin (2021 short)

Worst Picture

The Ancestral (2022, Vietnam)

The Black Cauldron (1985)

Don’t Look Up (2021)

Please no.

Honorary Awards

Aardman Animations, for their innovations in stop-motion animation

Sidney Poitier, for his trailblazing artistic and human accomplishments (posthumously)

FILMS WITH MULTIPLE NOMINATIONS (excluding Worst Picture; 56) Eleven: Drive My Car

Ten: Everything Everywhere All At Once

Nine: The Ladykillers

Seven: La bestia debe morir (The Beast Must Die); A Patch of Blue

Six: The Gang’s All Here; Nightmare Alley (1947); The Tragedy of Macbeth

Five: The Ballad of Cable Hogue; The Doll; The Fabelmans; Glass Onion; Johnny Guitar

Four: Ladies of the Chorus; Loves of a Blonde; A Mighty Wind; 9 to 5; The Oyster Princess; Petite Maman; Pillow Talk; The Power of the Dog; Sidewalk Stories

Three: Avatar: The Way of Water;The Banshees of Inisherin; The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas; Buffalo Boy; Elvis; Flee; Ganashatru (An Enemy of the People); Love Me or Leave Me; Le Million; Misterios de ultratumba (Black Pit of Dr. M); Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday; Nope; Oliver & Company; Three Thousand Years of Longing; Time After Time; El vampiro negro; The Woman King

Two: All Dogs Go to Heaven; Babes in Toyland; The Batman; Drums Along the Mohawk; Hilda and the Mountain King; The Masque of Red Death; Memoria; Nightmare Alley (2021); No Man of Her Own; Penny Serenade; The Proud Valley; The Red House; The Rescuers; The Rescuers Down Under; See How They Run; Start Cheering; Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom; The Wiz

WINNERS (excluding honorary awards and Worst Picture; 25) 3 wins: The Doll; Everything Everywhere All At Once

2 wins: Flee; La bestia debe morir (The Beast Must Die); Drive My Car; The Ladykillers; Nightmare Alley (1947)

1 win: The Batman; The Fabelmans; The Gang’s All Here; Johnny Guitar; The Masque of Red Death; A Mighty Wind; Nope; Le Million; The Oyster Princess; A Patch of Blue; Petite Maman; Pillow Talk; Robin Robin; The Scapular; Sidewalk Stories; Three Thousand Years of Longing; The Tragedy of Macbeth; El vampire negro; The Woman King

83 films were nominated in 26 categories.

[baolinagasy]

I posted 1,259 times in 2022

That's 1,224 more posts than 2021!

5 posts created (0%)

1,254 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

yellow-yarrow

revacholianpizzaagenda

brennisteinnexe

spectrumcore

doodle-shenanigans

I tagged 1,254 of my posts in 2022

#disco elysium - 504 posts

#fanart - 276 posts

#harry du bois - 243 posts

#art - 236 posts

#text - 220 posts

#kim kitsuragi - 186 posts

#inspiration - 115 posts

#capitalism - 86 posts

#news - 72 posts

#mood - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#remember when in the sea fortress he'll scold harry saying he told him not to turn on the music even tho he didn't? what an ass lmao love it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

crash

0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

Perception, composure!

Oh, thanks for asking! Always happy to ramble about that game. I'm going to put it under a read more, because I'm looking at it and it's a bit long haha.

perception: what (quote, character, moment) made you feel most Seen?

My God, there are so many... Let's start with moments. Eastern european fans of the game often mention how they never felt like they ever had true representation in media until they played that game. I'm not eastern european at all, but I feel the same. I'm from a third world country and there is something about Martinaise, well Revachol in general, that feels like home. It's the little things, like seeing old men playing pétanque outside (something I literally saw all the time growing up, pétanque is one of our national sports and one of the few where my country has won international competitions lmao), buildings that no one care if you break into, or the fact that nothing really gets cleaned up so people just learn to live in rumbles, or that quiet feeling that you don't really matter. Idk, I guess I just know what it feels like to live in a country that is governed by a foreign power, a country that will never matter much on the international scale. History is being made by important, larger-than-life people and you're not one of them. A soft feeling of nihilism that other people find sad but you are just used to it. That's life! It isn't so bad.

This goes for the characters, too. Almost all of them hits a chord in me. I could write a fucking essay about what Harry means to me. Same goes for Kim (his aloofness, the way he takes care of saying as little as possible about himself, his difficulties to connect with people or with emotional matters, ... aaaaaaaaa). But honestly, even the NPCs are just... god fucking dammit. I know them! I see myself in them, and even if I don't, I see people I know in them! Klaasje reminds me of a girl I deeply care about (but had to ultimately stay away from), the Hardie boys talk and act like the guys I went to high school with, my childhood bestfriend can be bitchy with everyone just like Cindy (she is also an artist practicing in vandalism)... They are all so fucking human! None of them are really good, but none of them are completely bad either. They are humanly imperfect, the rising ape meeting the falling angel.

As for the quote... Again, so many speak to me (I always get chills when I talk with the Deserter, for example). But I will just leave this one, since it is one that made me feel seen, and this is what this ask is about. It's a dialogue Harry can have with Adele about her tape recorder:

"I'm sorry you have to sit here on the ice with the drugs wearing off. At your age -- or at any age -- in this weather... waiting for it to get dark. [...] The people who built this world intended it to be better for you, but they failed. It is easier to live in their failure with this by your side. (Tap on the tape recorder.) It is not a childish fantasy. It can be a real weapon against what's coming for you now." "What is…?" Her shoulders shake a little. "Nothing, if you got this. Don't be scared."

I guess Disco Elysium is my own little tape recorder now :)

composure: would you rather sit on an anthill for an hour or stand in a river of leeches?

Probably the anthill. Most ants are chill, they would just come out from another hole in the ground. Also, I find them cool. I wouldn't mind having them crawl all over my body. Leeches, on the other hand, WILL suck your blood and I hear they are hard to remove. Such an interesting question, but I wonder why it's in a DE ask game haha

6 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#3

Encyclopedia, Interfacing?

Hey, thanks for asking! Wasn't expecting an ask so soon, haha

encyclopedia: what’s your favourite niche piece of lore?

There are so many tidbits of lore that just get off-handedly mentioned and then you don't get to know more about them... If I had to choose one, it would be Ubi Sunt? Just the name is funny to me, but also to know that there is an island that is just floating in and off the pale... makes me insane. What does it look like? People live there, how are their lives impacted by their close proximity to the pale? I'm fascinated by Elysium in general tbh.

interfacing: what’s your favourite aspect of the game mechanics?

Definitely the skills. I love how much they impact the game, both in a good and a bad way. On my second playthrough, I could really feel the absence of the skills I had in my first one. I'd rather have a skill failure than no skill check at all. It feels weird when they don't chime in. Also I love them and their little personalities. I never want them to shut up. I'm considering making a playthrough where I cheat and get all the skills at level 6 so I could have them argue non-stop in Harry's head.

6 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#2

I am legit heartbroken over this news... They put their heart into this, they created something so good, so sincere, and it was stolen from them.

I am thankful that this game was made at all, that at least this little miracle exists and will never stop existing. But I’m also so upset, so mad to once again witness talent and passion getting crushed under the heel of capitalism.

I will still look forward and give support to whatever projects they make next. I wish them all the best. And I’ll try to stay inspired by their work and keep creating myself.

11 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“I see the capital making statements and thus I am compelled to make statements in turn, which gives me a wonderful opportunity to discuss the story, the ‘making of’ of the game, the characters and destiny central to it in a more sombre manner than may be customary for the industry.

[...]

In short, Robert was fired from the company whose heart and seed he was due to claims of ‘creating a toxic workplace environment’. Having worked at the company remotely in the summer of 2021 I can say things were truly not all right at the company, but I would say it is much more plausible that the toxic environment was created instead by the upper management and blamed on Robert. I have seen a similar situation before. The idealist workaholic does not pay attention to people’s psychological needs as the conspirator does and thus he will at most times be outplayed.

[...]

What happened to Robert was what happens to most talented people that get any recognition in our age — he got manipulated by psychopaths. And the people that have been railed up against him and his entourage, they have also been manipulated by psychopaths so it doesn’t really make anything much better if we get mad at them. Robert trusted people that got him fired completely before they got him fired. He thought they are his friends. This is a major ‘red check failure’ really. 

[...]

To end on a more positive note, Robert said some months ago that he is confident about one day writing Elysium again. I would take him at his word. Many have also asked me how they could contribute. There are two main resources any person has, which are time and attention, and any ‘Disco fan’ has already chosen to give them to the game and its creators, the situation around the game. Be confident that you will do what needs to be done when you see it.

Revachol forever.

The full article is very interesting to read, I just tried to highlight the most “important” information, but really the whole post is worth a read.

Also Kaur Kender and Tõnis Haavel are directly mentioned by name.

60 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[travis-and-jodi]

FEBRUARY 18, 2007

Abe & Jodi

Dabbling in Mormonism, Magic Underwear & Abe (Part 2)

Abe Abdelhadi gave 6 media interviews, authored a blog and wrote an essay on this case (Souce: Monica Lindstrom, 27 Jan 2016).

Interview on Jan 16, 2013: Abe met Jodi in August 2006, they had lunch and one date in December 2006. He was 17 years older than her. After dinner, they were kissing in a parking lot, and Abe felt Jodi’s underwear. The defense portrayed Abe as “a sleazy middle-aged guy trying to pick up a younger woman” (Source: Steve Kraft, 27 Jan 2015).

Jodi felt guilty about seeing Abe, and didn’t see him again. Travis was jealous, and called Abe “Soul-less” in the sex tape. Jodi wrote an email to Abe ending the relationship, but it was sent to Travis and not to Abe, apparently in an effort to placate Travis’ jealousy.

Abe testified about the date they had in the penalty retrial on Jan 27, 2015. In one of the HLN interviews, Abe says he called Jodi in June 2008 after he learned of Travis’ death, suspecting she killed him, and Jodi called him back.

Jodi’s “Dear John” letter

Hi Abe

I’m writing you for a few reasons. Let me get the more trivial ones out of the way first. I tried reaching you by phone during the week without any luck. Probably because I’ve been calling at ridiculous hours of the night after I’m off work. Like the last three months, I find myself once again near the end of the billing cycle of my cell phone, out of minutes, and paying through the teeth to talk on the phone during daylight hours. But I digress. The reason I’ve been trying to reach you is to let you know that I was listening to the online version of “Never Before never again” at freedomvideos.com (?) and some thoughtful jerk laced a voice over on Mr. Stonecipher toward the end of the video. He says “there has never been a better time or a better opportunity than right now at Pre-Paid Loser” I am not joking. That’s what you hear. If you want to hear it for yourself, go the video. It’s about 11 minutes and 45 seconds into it. Just thought I would make you aware of that, since you use that on occasion for your prospects.

Jodi Arias & Mr. Stonecipher

The other, and more important reason that I am writing to you is regarding our friendship. You have been a wonderful source of information on many levels and I appreciate your insight and perspective. I’m glad that we met, and I’m glad we are friends. But after considering a few aspects of our friendship, such as the conversation we had the other night revisiting the dream you had to the hug we exchanged at the last AFT in Anaheim. I think we should re-think our conduct toward each other. I know that between you and me those things are simply gestures of a functioning friendship between a couple of single individuals. Up until recently I’ve considered myself single, and I never would have considered it to be inappropriate or even given it a second thought. Although I’m not married and I’m not Travis’ girlfriend.

From now going forward I feel that you and I should keep a friendly distance. I’m certainly not suggesting that we ignore each other, but even something as simple as a hug can be misconstrued as something it is not. You and I and everyone are hugging everyone else in this business. We are like a big family. So it may seem somewhat like a foreign request on my part, but you’re a pretty savvy guy, so I know you’ll understand.

“Break Up” by Agnes Trachet

I’m aware that you like me, and you’ve made that pretty clear. I’m flattered by that. I hesitate to tell you all of this only because I am reminded of the stories you’ve shared with me about women taking it the wrong way (like when you prospect them, for example). Your internal dialogue is less than friendly (“Look, lady. I didn’t ask and I’m not interested in you anyway!”) So in considering that, please know that I’m not assuming that you’re still pursuing me or that you see me as some kind of prize that you’re striving (??) for. We rarely talk outside of PPL events, and I am fully aware that you have a life completely outside the realm of “Jodi” which involves a blossoming business, a large social circle and network of people, and most likely many other female interest as well.

You already know that I’m seeing Travis. I’ve never divulged many details about our relationship simply because I consider certain details to be sacred and private, and should be kept between him and I anyway. I know I’ve told you that we are not in a committed relationship, but regardless of our status, I care so deeply about his. I often ask myself, how would Travis feel about this? Or, how I would I feel if Travis were doing what I’m doing right now with someone else? In fact, this reasoning has been a compelling force behind all of my actions, decisions and conduct as of late.

Now I’m sure you’re already aware of this, but when we hugged at the Grove a few weeks ago, my intention was nothing more than to warmly greet a friend and business associate. But I’ve since given this further thought and I’ve asked myself, would I have acted the same if Travis were there that day? In truth, I would not have. And this leads me to question my own character. I don’t want to be inconsistent, especially not when it involves something and someone that is so important to me. Granted, human behavior is often modified and adjusted under various circumstances. Everyone does this, it is natural. But at this point, none of that matters to me. What matters to me is how that which I am accountable for would make Travis feel. I care more about him than I ever have. His happiness is of cardinal significance to me, and his feelings and opinions I value more greatly than gold.

I didn’t write this email to expound upon my secret worship-Travis-agenda. I only wanted to clear a few things up, if not for you, then for myself. For I’m sure you already “get” all of this anyway. But at least now I’ve said it, and I can rest easier knowing that we are on the same page about things. I think you’re a great person who’s never had a single bad intention toward me, and I appreciate all of the time you’ve taken to impart to me your knowledge, perspectives, and experiences. I will certainly see you around at events, to which you bring a lively energy.

Take care until then, Jodi

Take care until then, Jodi

Abe Abdelhadi, a man who dated Jodi Arias and was a colleague of Travis Alexander recalls his experience with Jodi. His name was mentioned in the infamous phone sex tape. In previous interviews Abe has described the story of his date with Jodi one night in Pasadena. He said the date eventually involved kissing and as they were kissing he noticed that Jodi wasn’t wearing “magic underwear” (a term used for garments worn by Mormons). After mentioning this to Jodi, to his surprise she replied, “No but there’s magic IN them.” Abe made the argument that this experience shows that Jodi was not as sexually “naïve” as she may have portrayed to have been to the court.

In this segment Abe says that the date was “fun” and that he didn’t know she was going to kill anyone. What’s haunting is that this is probably the same way Travis Alexander felt about his relationship with Jodi, right up until the moments before he died.

(PK Report)

FROM THE SEX TAPE:

Jodi: I know you don’t like Abe (she waits)… 

Travis: Yeah, well he’s soulless. He’s like at the top of the list. He’s… 

Jodi: (Interrupting) I wouldn’t call him soulless, I would just call him like focused, like business… 

Travis: He’s not focused on business. 

Jodi: I don’t know… 

Travis: If he was focused on business, he’d be a solid E.D. (executive director, I believe), for starters… 

Jodi: He told me the other day that he hopes you get your ring. 

Travis: HE told you the other day? 

Jodi: Yeah. 

Travis: (After a pause) How the hell did that come up? 

Jodi: Ummm….because I went to, I went to leave him a comment on his MySpace, because I haven’t talked to him in like…four months, and I was just…and he left one for me after not talking to me for four months saying, who, what, where, or something, and I was going to say the same thing back, just to throw it out there, kind of thing, and I went to put ‘add comment’, and it said, you must be this user’s friend in order to make comments about them. So, I was like, he’s always been my MySpace friend, so I texted him. I said, hey Abe, I’ve got a bone to pick with you, and he wrote back, what, and I said, you’re not my MySpace friend anymore, and then the phone rang, and it was him, and he was like, hey listen, and this is why, because I deleted you from my friends. I just didn’t want to be any part of your drama, your drama with you and Travis, and I was like, uhh, uhh, okay. And he was like, it’s nothing against you, I think you’re both great people, I just didn’t want to be associated with that, and he was like, I hope you’re gonna understand that it has nothing to do with you. I think you’re a great girl. I think Travis is an awesome businessman; in fact, I hope he gets his ring, and I think that would be awesome because that would just be more stories I could tell, and he said, and just said it in passing, but he was like, I hope you understand, and I was like, well, okay…(pause)…and… 

Travis: It’s either that, or… 

Jodi: Heheheheh….what? 

Travis: That’s dramatic, right there. 

Jodi: Yeah, I know. I thought it was too. I thought it was too. He’s like, I mean, I see he, he did bring that up though. He said, you know, I don’t understand. I see him in the bathroom, and I’m like a ghost to him. Like he doesn’t, he looks right through me, he doesn’t even see me or say hi to me. He said, I have no problem with that; if it’s gotta be that way, fine. He’s like, I have nothing against him, and that’s when he said, in fact, I hope he gets his ring. That’s what he said. 

Travis: (Inaudible)…I’m glad he felt intimidated in the bathroom. 

Jodi: He said nothing but nice things about you, but he didn’t want to be a part of my dramas. I was like, okay. 

Travis: He’s a ghost to me? Because what am I supposed to say? Hey, you kissed my girlfriend? You wanna talk about that? 

Jodi: (Very loud and very excited – so much so that I can’t make out the first few words) HEH! That was before I was your girlfriend! (She calms down and lowers her voice dramatically) You’re cute… 

Travis: Nah…ahh… 

Jodi: Ehh-heh-heh… 

Travis: You know, what am I supposed to say, ya know what I mean? (Jodi says, “uh-huh”). Ahh, hey, I just got ripped a new one 'cause some drunk chick frikkin’ fell on me, and, uhh, now you’re drunk, and you’re trying to frikkin’ hook up with my girlfriend frikkin’ five minutes later? Uhh, you know? 

Jodi: When was that? 

Travis: Oklahoma, remember? I was gonna go beat his ass? 

Jodi: Oh, he said something not so nice. It was a compliment to me…it was meant to be a compliment to me, but it was an insult to you, and I should have stuck, I should have stuck up for you. I was timid, and I was still like that. I needed to work on my… 

Travis: Yeah, you (inaudible)…gave me (90% sure those two words are correct) so much crap over Clancy, and maybe you didn’t stand up for me, and you were getting picked up…(inaudible)… 

Jodi: But (inaudible) he was hangin’ all over me…

CROSSTALK 

Travis: Nah…no…A: Not true, not true. We don’t even need to go there. Don’t even go there. 

Jodi: (Pause) Let’s not go there, then. Eh-heh! (Very forced laughter) We already said the other night we were never going to go there again. Let’s let it go. 

Travis: (Silence) 

Jodi: Okay, back to the Team Freedom thing. Umm… 

Travis: I’m glad I intimidated him in the bathroom. 

Jodi: (Uproarious laughter) Ah-hahahahahahah!!! You’re funny! 

Travis: I was seeing him, too. Cause I was right next to him, and I put out the, I’ll whip your A vibe, if you say one word to me… 

Jodi: Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. 

LONG PAUSE 

Jodi: I think you grabbed my ass, like right in front of him, like when we were walking through the casino in Las Vegas, in 07. We walked by, and you grabbed my butt, and you were like, there goes Abe, and I was like…WHAT??? I love it when you grab my butt, but you only do it when you’re trying to prove a point to somebody else. 

Travis: That’s not true, but I always do when I’m trying to prove a point to somebody else… 

Jodi: That’s true… 

Travis: You can’t say that I don’t work that booty. 

Jodi: Oh, never mind, you do know how to work the booty…eh-heh-heh-heh…

(Behind the Words: A Logical and Satirical Guide to the Impossible Defense of Jodi Arias Volume 2 by Kim Anne Whittemore)

I’m also wondering how a man who said goodbye to Green Jodi by giving her the middle finger with both hands, trusted this type of woman with recorded phone sex conversations in which he was a party. Beyond that, if he had been angry that she had failed on three attempts to record their phone sex conversations, then why didn’t we hear him, even once, tell her to press the save button during the taped conversation the defense just played? The answer? Because Travis never knew he was being recorded.

Predictably, Nurmi asks, “So, you recorded it at his request?”. Green Jodi answers, “Yes”. Nurmi continues, “I wanna ask you about some of what we heard on the tape. Early on there was a discussion about Abe and a compliment that he was making to you that was an insult to Travis that you should have corrected. Do you know what that was in reference to?”. Sure, Nurmi is going to pick the portion of the tape that is incomprehensible. During those critical parts of the conversation, Travis sounds as if he is under water. If this tape was going to be entered into evidence, there should have been a print-out of the dialogue. Some of these portions, including the one to which Nurmi just referred, were inaudible. Whether the defense deliberately muddled the recording is unknown. I was very frustrated with this portion because it told me nothing beyond the fact that Abe was disliked by Travis, Clancy held onto Travis at a PPL event, gossip, gossip, and more gossip.

Green Jodi is about to tell the jury about some of the non-sexual things they heard on the tape. Nurmi says, “I want to ask you about some of what we heard on the tape. Early on, there was a discussion about Abe and a compliment he was making to you that was an insult to Travis that you should have corrected. Do you know what that was in reference to?”

Remember, this part of the tape was difficult to hear. This part of the tape is also completely irrelevant in terms of the slaughter of June 4, 2008, but Nurmi will do anything to keep us from getting to the kill. It’s ironic that it was Green Jodi who raised the issue of Abe Abdelhadi during the taped conversation, and it was clearly a subject Travis would have preferred to avoid. It was Green Jodi who reminded Travis that Abe complimented her and insulted him. Despite the fact that the dialogue is muddled, the mood is crystal clear – Travis was upset at Abe, not at Green Jodi. Travis did not rail against her because she didn’t stick up for him in the face of Abe’s indirect insult to Travis. I suspect that Nurmi and his client are about to rewrite history – again.

Green Jodi answers, “Yes, that was when we were in Oklahoma City in March, 2007, and that’s when Abe said you deserve better, and he didn’t mean it in a way like you deserve me instead of him, just that he thought I deserved better, to be treated better, and I took that as a compliment because that meant to me that he valued – that he saw me as enough value – that I needed to be treated better, and I didn’t say anything to change his mind or anything, and I wasn’t even going to tell Travis until he demanded to know what we were talking about, and I wanted to be open and forthright in our relationship, so I…”.

There are a few things worth looking at here. When referring to this incident, Green Jodi says she wanted to be “open and forthright” in her relationship with Travis, but she prefaces that assertion by saying that she was open and forthright because Travis “demanded” an answer from her. So, which is it? It can’t be both ways. In one scenario, the information is freely and immediately offered, yet in the other scenario, it is extracted by verbal force.

Additionally, someone is not being open and forthright in their relationship when they get angry because their boyfriend is holding onto a woman who has had too much to drink at a public event, and instead of speaking to her boyfriend about her jealousy, she chooses to lock herself in the bathroom for a half hour sob-fest. These incidents happened on the same night. Open and forthright? Perhaps Green Jodi should revisit the dictionary.

Secondly, Green Jodi should not be permitted to infer what was in the mind of Abe Adelhadi when he allegedly said that she deserved better than Travis She has no idea if Abe was implying that he would be a better match for Jodi, or if Abe was being passive-aggressive toward Travis because he had his own issues with him. There is, after all, little doubt that Travis did not like Abe. This is what happens when someone is allowed to write their own script – they get to fill in all the thoughts and motivations of the other characters.

Nurmi interrupts, “And by demanding to know – that was when he grabbed your arm by the elevators?”. By the elevators? Didn’t Green Jodi say that this non-event happened in the ballroom when she went to grab his hand in the middle of a crowd of people, but he got her wrist instead? When did this become an arm grab by the elevator?

Green Jodi replies, “It wasn’t near the elevator. It was outside the crowd, right near the edge of the crowd – yes, yes, that’s when…”. That’s when? What happened? Nothing. I still find it hard to believe they were allowed to categorize this as an incident of abuse. It helps that Green Jodi is really playing up the abused woman demeanor right now. She did not correct Nurmi when he said it was her arm that was grabbed. In fact, according to her earlier testimony, it was her wrist that he grabbed, and that goes a long way to prove that he intended to grab her hand.

Nurmi says, “There was also – just so we’re clear, we’re talking about Abe Abadahla, right?”. Green Jodi replies, “Abdelhadi”. Nurmi continues, “Abdelhadi, excuse me. And Mr. Abdelhadi was also mentioned, um, that Travis made a comment, something about he was gonna kick Abe’s ass in the bathroom. He said I gave a 'whip your A’ vibe to him – related to kissing you. Can you explain to us what the back story to that is?”.

Green Jodi says, “Yes. Um, when Abe and I went on a date in January, 2007, prior to Travis and I, we were in Barnes and Noble and looking at books, and he said something, and I went to look at him, and he leaned in and kissed me, and I wasn’t expecting it. I was kind of shy about it, even though he was nice, it was nice, but it threw me off a little, so I pulled away, and I was shy, and we went to dinner, um, I don’t know what else we did. He was walking me back to my car, and he began to kiss me more near my car, and after that, Travis had interrogated me about the dates I had that day because I went to lunch with John, and I went to dinner with Abe, and then I hung out with John afterward. And so, I liked John a little bit more than Abe, but I was getting a platonic vibe from him, so when I described the dates to Travis, he said he picked up on that – that I liked John, but he asked me directly if either of them kissed me, and, um, I said that Abe did, in Barnes and Noble, and I kind of trailed off, and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was not happy, and so I never told him about the parking lot, and I, after, when I was getting ready to move to Yreka, we had a conversation in his bedroom a few days before I moved, and we, um, kind of took, we kind of came clean about some things we were keeping from each other, and that was one of the things I never told him that I should have…”.

What did Green Jodi say to Travis on the phone the day she went on two dates? We are now being asked to believe that Travis was initially upset about a kiss in popular book store? How passionate could that kiss have been? Besides, she was not officially dating Travis at the time of this date (late 2007), and saying that Abe had tried to kiss her in the parking lot would have been the preferred tactic for a woman trying to trap a man who already appeared to be jealous. Is she expecting us to believe that she only “came clean” about Abe Adelhadi kissing her in the parking lot a few days before she left Mesa for Yreka? I believe she “came clean” about her date with Abe the day it happened. Here is the exact interchange in reference to the day of the two dates:

Nurmi: “And it was at this time that you said Mr. Alexander called and you were unable to take his call at that moment?”

Arias: “Yes, he wasn’t angry, just inquisitive”.

Nurmi: “And that inqui…inqui…inquisition, if you will, led to you describing the fact that you were with Mr. Dixon”.

Arias: “Yes”.

Nurmi: “And how did that sit with Travis?”.

Arias: “Umm he, it wasn’t warmly received, he didn’t appear to get angry, but he, I could tell he was upset in his, just in the way he, his tone, his tone changed”.

After asking how Travis learned of and received the news of the additional date with Abe Adelhadi, Jodi answers:

Arias: “Same conversation, because both of those dates were in Pasadena on the same day”

Nurmi: “Was his distaste for your date with Mr. Abdelhadi, was it different than, um, than with John Dixon?”.

Arias: “It appeared to, it seemed to me, well, it was over the phone so I didn’t see him, but from the tone of his voice, he seemed upset”.

Nurmi: “Was that at a different level than it was with Mr. Dixon?”.

Arias: “I think it was all sort of cumulative, um”.

Nurmi: “Well, you mentioned the fact that as far as being encouraged to date, you said there were certain people, initially you thought it didn’t matter what types of people you dated, but then you said later on you were encouraged to date a particular type of person. So, what I was asking if there is some difference between Mr. Abdelhadi and Mr. Dixon that caused, to your understanding, extra anxiety with Mr. Alexander?”.

Arias: “I think it was that they both weren’t church members. I was sort of reprimanded for that”.

If Arias “came clean” about this date with Abe just days before she left Mesa, it had nothing to do with kissing; it had to do with a clip that was played on Dr. Drew Pinsky’s show:

ABE ABDELHADI (as quoted on the Dr. Drew Pinsky Show): “I made a little reach to find out – candidly speaking – if she was wearing thong panties or not. So, when I realized that she was, I made a little joke, and I said, that`s not magic underwear, and she said, but there’s magic in them. And so, I thought, OK, this is fun. She`s going to be fun”.

Before we leave the topic of “coming clean”, let’s not forget that Green Jodi has already admitted that she gets her information about Travis’ personal life by hacking into Travis’ email accounts. Coming clean? She doesn’t know the meaning of the phrase.

Back to court. Nurmi was about to interrupt, “That was kind of a come clean conversation before you moved, right?”. Green Jodi says, “Yes. And after he told me some things, and I told him those things, he felt like I had lied to him about our entire relationship, and our entire relationship was, um, based on lies, and I was a fraud, and I was just, that the whole relationship was fraudulent because I never told him about that incident prior to us getting together, and he thought one thing about Abe, and then he was just, and then he was oh, you know, he was kissing out, kissing more with you in the parking lot, and he was just, he was just mad about it”.

Nurmi asks, “When you told Travis about this, was he violent with you that day?”. Green Jodi answers, “Yes, he was that day”. Nurmi asks, “What happened?”.

Green Jodi pours it on: “Umm, Well, he was already…(long pause)…he was already upset because I had given him a pamphlet earlier, about the one that I talked about yesterday…”. Nurmi, on cue, interrupts, “Was this the same day, or a different day?” Green Jodi responds, “Same day. Same conversation, pretty much. We had just moved onto other subject matter, and at that point, he just flipped his lid and blew up, and he thew me on the ground, got on top of me, and started choking me.”. They’ve obviously rehearsed this because Nurmi allows a long, silent pause to elapse. Finally, he says, “When you say choking you, were you conscious the entire time?”. Green Jodi says, “I was conscious for…not long. He squeezed my neck, and I couldn’t breathe, everything turned gray really fast, and it went black, and…uh, uh…”.

Nurmi asks, “Did you fear for your life that day?”. Green Jodi answers, “It went so fast I didn’t have time to think, oh my God, he’s gonna kill me. The only thought I could think was, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I didn’t have any air, and before I really thought about it, I just started to get – he was on top of my waist – and my arms were free, and I thought, I’m trying to push him off, but he weighed over 200 pounds at that point and, uhh, I just remember getting my arms, they just felt like lead, and they just fell back on the carpet, and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up”.

Nurmi allows a long pause to go by before he says, “And when did this incident occur?”. Despite the fact that he’s already asked this question, he asks it again. Green Jodi responds, “It was sometime in the first week of April, 2008”. Nurmi asks “Is this sometime after the incident you said, you felt like you were one of those battered women who didn’t speak up?”. Green Jodi responds, “It was about three months after that”.

Green Jodi just told the jury that Travis choked her in early April, 2008. She claims that everything went gray before it went black. Notice the raging Travis didn’t actually kill her. Now I can understand all of the references about his love of MMA fighting, the Friday night socials at his house to watch fights, and the references to him being a wrestler. It’s all an implication that Travis knew how to choke someone without killing them. In any event, I don’t believe for a second that Travis Alexander choked Jodi Arias.

Nurmi asks, “Is this after the incident you were telling us about yesterday when you said you realized you were one of those battered women that didn’t speak up?”. Green Jodi answers, “It was about three months after that”.

Nurmi continues, “There was also talk on this phone call about a drunk chick hanging on Travis. Is that the story you told us before?”. Green Jodi, trying to sound as though she is on the verge of crying, answers, “Yes”. Nurmi asks, “There was a lot of sexual activity discussed on this tape. Did all that sexual activity, did that take place before you moved back to Yreka?”. Green Jodi is staring at her little desk and playing with something small. She answers, “The things we were talking about? Yes. Well, some things we were making plans, future plans, but a lot of it was references to prior (sigh) experiences”. Nurmi asks, “So, when you’re talking about things you did, all those things happened before you moved back to Yreka, right?”. Green Jodi puts her big hand on the side of her long face and says, “Things we did. Yes”.

Nurmi says, “One of the things that was brought up is that Travis always grabbed your ass to prove a point. Now, earlier in your testimony you told us about an incident in a truck stop in Ehrenberg. Were there other instances in which Travis grabbed your ass to prove a point?”.

Nurmi isn’t even trying to be professional. He isn’t quoting anyone when he uses the word “ass”, so I guess it’s fine for him to use this type of terminology because his client is a slut. He can also stop pretending that the Ehrenberg trip offended Green Jodi or her ass because we all heard her talking about this trip on the tape. According to the “survivor” on the witness stand, the Ehrenberg trip was filled with jizz, and Green Jodi was recorded saying how much she loved the fact that it was all over their motel room.

Green Jodi thinks about her ass, and then she straightens her glasses. She nods her head, then replies, “Yeah, there were other instances”. Nurmi says, “Tell us about those”. Juan Martinez, the individual who reminds us that this is indeed a court of law and not The Jerry Springer Show, objects. Once again, he wants the pesky foundational gaps filled in. He wants dates, times, and places, and Nurmi will probably respond in a contemptuous tone of voice while telling the judge what his client will and will not say. Nurmi drops his pen on the podium (for what must be the fiftieth time today), and says, “She’s telling us, judge”. Judge Stephens reminds Nurmi that she has to provide foundation. I don’t even know why this is a matter of debate. What difference does it make whether or not Travis Alexander grabbed Green Jodi’s butt? Who cares? He wasn’t a stranger who ran through the mall grabbing women inappropriately. Jodi Arias was a woman who had given Travis free access to her “ass”.

Green Jodi, the traumatized survivor, can remember all the instances in which Travis grabbed her butt. She says, “Once was right after the executive director banquet (something this in-name-only PPL associate was lucky to be attending) in Oklahoma City – that same weekend. We were just discussing, we were walking out of the banquet area, by the restrooms, and he grabbed my butt, and then he said…”. Juan Martinez raises a hearsay objection. Nurmi gives his “not being offered for the truth of the matter asserted” response. The judge tells Nurmi to restate his question.

It’s interesting that Green Jodi is now going to refer to an incident in Oklahoma City, because the ass grab on the phone sex tape happened in Las Vegas. I understand why Juan Martinez wants foundational information. They are deliberately bouncing between events, dates, and cities, and they are hoping to confuse everyone. Whatever Green Jodi may say at this moment, let’s all remember that on the phone sex tape she said the same thing happened in Las Vegas. When we heard her talking about that incident, she said, “I love it when you grab my butt”. I suppose she’s going to have a different opinion on ass grabbing in front of the jury.

Nurmi says, “He grabbed your butt. For what purpose did he grab your ass, to your understanding?”. Green Jodi, with her mouth hanging open, stares at Nurmi, and then replies, “My understanding was that he grabbed it because there was a guy named Mark standing by, and Mark had expressed an interest in me (oh, right…), mmm, two months earlier. He was also an associate. We like never went on a date or anything, but there was an interest there”.

Why, when ass grabbing was discussed on the phone with Travis, wasn’t this mysterious Mark person in Las Vegas mentioned? This is what Green Jodi said on tape about Travis’ habit of engaging in felonious ass grabbing: “I think you grabbed my ass, like right in front of him, like when we were walking through the casino in Las Vegas, in 07. We walked by, and you grabbed my butt, and you were like, there goes Abe, and I was like…WHAT?”.

Nurmi takes the obvious road and asks, “So, the point he was proving was that you belonged to him?”. Juan Martinez raises a leading objection. The objection is sustained, but Nurmi just moves a few words around and asks the same question again. Juan Martinez raises a speculation objection. He says he doesn’t even know what Nurmi is asking. Nurmi says, “What does SHE believe?”. Juan is good for the brain. He breaks up the monotony of the two boring key players now dominating the stage. He also made it clear to the jury that whatever answer comes out of this defendant’s mouth, it is purely her opinion, not fact. That is an important distinction. Green Jodi answers, “Just that he was claiming me. It was usually the only time he claimed me in public, when there was another guy around or something”.

Nurmi says, “I guess you weren’t wearing your T-shirt, huh?”. Wow. Nurmi just sent a clear message to every person listening that he doesn’t believe the strength of his client’s testimony is winning the war. That was a completely unprofessional, desperate thing to say. If he actually believed what Green Jodi was saying was true, he would never traumatize a victim by being sarcastic about the level of humiliation and abuse she suffered. That was a bad, bad move.

Juan Martinez is brilliant. Without a hint of emotion, he sits with his hands folded and says, “Objection. Which T-shirt are we talking about?”. Nurmi makes the same mistake each time Juan Martinez embarrasses him; he gets louder, more sarcastic, and more ridiculous. He looks like an angry Disney foe who doesn’t like the way things are going. He looks like he has no respect for the process or the court. As predicted, he swaggers around, and says, “I guess you weren’t wearing the T-shirt that has Travis Alexander apostrophEE (big accent on the end of that word with a waving hand gesture) S on it, Right?”. Green Jodi answers, “No”.

Nurmi is right in front of Juan Martinez, and he continues, “You probably weren’t wearing the shorts that said Travises with an apostrophe, oh excuse me, an exclamation point”. Green Jodi is a fool. She is answering rhetorical questions seriously. She says, “No, I never wore those in public”. Nurmi is on a roll (a downhill roll, but a roll nonetheless). He says, “There’s no other way to claim you as his property but to grab your ass, right?”. Now, I’m laughing. In the middle of this charade, Juan Martinez says, “Objection, speculation”. The objection is sustained.

Nurmi asks, “Did he prove this point – of you being his – on other occasions by grabbing your butt?”. This is all rather ridiculous. Green Jodi spent a good deal of time telling the jury that Travis ignored her at these events. Now, the man who is embarrassed to be seen with her is grabbing her butt in a public display of ownership?

Juan Martinez objects again. He says that it is speculation as this practice has been proven to be an act of ownership. He’s right, of course, but his objection is overruled. Now, Nurmi is free to continue his search for other instances of the ass grabber grabbing asses. It’s ironic that the woman who plunged a knife into human flesh 29 times can’t remember inflicting even one of those injuries, but she does remember each instance in which her butt was squeezed. Oh, and just for the record, let’s remember that we just heard her on tape – she told Travis she liked it.

I’m about ready to shove that pen up Nurmi’s….never mind. If he drops that thing on the podium again, I’m going to yell at the screen. He does it for effect, but because of the microphone, it’s just jarring. After he tosses his pen, he asks Green Jodi for more ass grabbing examples. With her face down, Green Jodi mumbles, “Well, there was the occasion in the rest…uh, no…the truck stop restaurant, it was like a convenience store in a restaurant, joining the convenience store, moreso near the registers (her hands are moving all over the place as she attempts to give the jurors a visual on the set-up of the truck stop), and he did that, and umm…the other occasion was the one I referenced on the tape, which would have been in Las Vegas (the one she said she liked), at the convention in 2007, where he did that again in front of Abe, the same guy we were talking about”.

Now, as long as we’re being specific here, isn’t it important that we know whether Travis grabbed her left cheek, her right cheek, or if he used the more aggressive and less stealthy double handed grab? That would tell us a lot about how physically abusive Travis Alexander really was. Truthfully, wouldn’t an abuser actually slap her ass? This trial may go down in history as featuring the most useless, pointless, irrelevant direct testimony on record. As if listening to tales of ass grabbing isn’t insulting enough, we now have to hear that the murderer’s ass wasn’t just grabbed in a regular truck stop – it was grabbed in a truck stop that had a convenience store kinda/sorta joined to it. It is becoming painfully obvious that the defense has literally nothing to work with. Frankly, the bigger issue for me would be that he slept with her and took her to a truck stop for breakfast. If I was trying to prove that Travis Alexander used and degraded Green Jodi, I would certainly mention that a nice brunch would have been a sign of respect toward your lover, while a truck stop is, well, a truck stop.

(Behind the Words: A Logical and Satirical Guide to the Impossible Defense of Jodi Arias Volume 2 by Kim Anne Whittemore)

Green Jodi was just given free reign to recount every time Travis’ hand grabbed her butt in public. She came up with three examples. Instead of moving on, Nurmi asks, “Was this a fairly persistent pattern with him? If he thought a guy might be interested, he would grab your butt?”. Three times in less than two years does not a persistent pattern make, but let’s see if Green Jodi can come up with some other examples. She answers, “Well, in public, he only did it around, when he perceived other men to be watching us”.

[feli2003]

WOAH

Woah or Wonderlust, Offbeat Adventures, Amazing Horizons.

The word "WOAH" grabs the attention and conveys a vence of excitement and wonder, which is aligned with travel and exploration in the tourism industry. Represents the desire to travel and explore focuses on unique and unconventional experiences white chowcasing breathtaking rights and destinations anywhere in the world.

Hi, it's Feli. Come and join me in many different adventures highlighting different scenarios, foods, and even culture in this blog. This blog is your gateway to the world of offbeat adventures and amazing horizons in the tourism industry. Here, we embark on a journey to explore the hidden gems, untrodden paths, and awe- inspiring destinations that will ignite your wanderlust and leave you craving for more. My mission is to inspire each and everyone of you to step outside your comfort zones and experience amazing adventures in life. WOAH is not just a blog; it's a community of passionate travellers, explorers, and dreamers.

In this article, I bring you to my personal favorite country. A country that has captured the world's attention with its remarkable achievements in various fields. The one and only, Singapore! In this blog, I will be talking about how Singapore truly is unique and a destination worthy when it comes to first time foreigners who are planning to travel outside their country. As a tourism student, I was looking for a country that focuses on its surroundings. Luckily, Singapore is one of those countries that is Clean and Green Environment. From my experience of staying in Singapore for a few days, I watched how people are well mannered and how they looked after it's environment to the point where you wouldn't even see trash anywhere. No wonder Singapore is renowed for it's cleanliness and green spaces. You can really see how they take care of their green environment from the pictures I have provided above. If you are into greenery and just nature itself, I can recommend you to go and explore Singapore's Cloud Forest and Flower Dome. Just keep in mind that they do change their theme every year and for the Flower Dome, they change the flower depending on the flower that is in season. Another reason why Singapore is destination worthy, is because of it's cultural diversity. No matter what you do, you maybe taking a scroll, buying snacks from a convenience store, or even dining in a restaurant, you will be seeing a lot of Arabs and Indians who are working. While visiting Singapore, I experienced and seen foreigners of different ethnicity like Chinese, Malay, Indian, and especially Western nationals who are businessmen in the country. They are so diverse where most of it's restaurants offer different cuisines from all over the world. A lot The last one is the safety and security. As a tourist, our top priority is out safety not just for ourselves but also those people we are with. I'm not gonna lie setting foot in an unknown country really is nerve wracking especially when it's your first time. However, upon researching, I found out that Singapore is a low crime rate country and this made me less worried. As far as my experience, I can truly say that you won't feel any danger whether you're taking a walk at night, or alone in the streets, the good thing about this is that sunset in Singapore is around 7pm- 8pm and the sunrise is around 8am. And even though it is beyond 8pm, you will never feel unsafe because the streets are filled with lights. My mom and I experienced getting lost around Singapore, we didn't have data since our sim card wasn't registered as an international sim card, and it was a bit of an hassle to wait for a taxi since Singapore is a rich country and people there has their own car. We had no choice but to ask the people and they were friendly. We ended up walking from Bugis Street to Clarke Quay for almost an hour.

So yeah, that is my experience as a first time traveller outside of my country. I can say that even though I haven't been to other countries before, each country has their own Pros and Cons, it's really up to the tourist on how they make the most out of it. A few tips for travelling in a country you're not familiar with is...

Number 1- Always do your research before making decisions

Number 2- If you are travelling alone, make sure your family/friends knows where you will be travelling and staying. And the most important tip is

Number 3- Make sure to always have fun

I encourage you to share your own adventures, tips, and recommendations. And if ever you want a part 2 of my Singapore experience, don't hesitate to reach out for any questions and feel free to share this with your friends and leave a comment or feedbacks.

Til' next time!

Xoxo, Feli❤️

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 9]

“Who just writes about their life on a blog?”. A person who is talking to themself. I also am aware that one day I’ll draw in a following. Not on the app, the 0 notes are evident. Most people want jokes, depression recovery and fan fiction. Also, since my stalkers never heard me speak about my personal life, they can keep the notifications on and keep reading.

Assistant Coach: “Since you only work _ hours, you can take your break after this if you want!”

Me: “*Me pretending I don’t understand what he’s saying* Oh, I can take it right after this, I’m already done :)!”

Taking a walk off the clock? I THINK NOT!

THAT BITCH WAS PACKED! I almost felt bad for my coworkers. They were so busy that made my own salad today. Which we’re totally not supposed to do, but on my break? HEAVENS NO! I restocked what was running low that I had to use for my salad (because I hadn’t started my break time yet). So technically I WAS working still. The walk was great! Took pictures…AGAIN! Walked north on Wabash today. It was great. Even got a full break because I made the salad myself.

Anyways, there are some sexy girls with foreign accents. They honestly are some of my favorite people, I even have some regulars now. I hope some of my baby mommas have accents. Like almost don’t speak English. I know it will be hard for us to communicate at first, but I think it will be fun. It’s so interesting seeing people of this nature. The southside and suburbs have plenty of different ethnicities/nationalities, so I’m not really that interested in those types of interactions since they are extremely normal (for me). Only in my older years though, mostly teens.

I’m getting so anxious about this architecture thing, like I stress about it almost daily. Space, structure and interior is so hard to get it mentally mapped out because I don’t need too much for any of those, but I can’t afford to overshoot and undershooting would be ridiculous because I’d more than likely go over, but I’d hate feeling like I don’t need something.

More sinful combinations, new coworker #2 mentioned putting a snickers in a salad. Sounds disgusting but I’d be willing to try it. Whoever said Wendy’s fries in a frosty was good. Shit is disgusting. Literally just tastes like a frosty and a fry. Doesn’t feel like the flavors mix even remotely. Currently eating ramen noodle pack 2/4. Said fuck it and will starve for most of Friday and Saturday. I look forward to Sunday though.

Also, these posts are so any dumb ass questions an interviewer of any kind would ask, are off the table. I will not be communicating with anybody outside of my community if it does not concern increasing my earnings, my life/career. Meaning if you are doing some sort of business or not a life long PUBLIC supporter of mine. You will not get anything more than content from me. Social media/actual media. My words will not make my enemies, the envious, etc… money. Your interpretation of my thoughts via social media posts is your best shot because you’re not getting anything from me in person, face to face, video chat, replies via social media, etc… if you don’t like me. STAND ON THAT SHIT!

- MH (2023)

[tartglias]

diluc, kaeya, albedo and childe when they’re in love

“ahh ok i just discovered ur blog and this is my very first ever request to a blog. so uhm can i req diluc, kaeya, albedo & childe headcanons on what they'll do when they're in love? like, will their attitude change when they're around the reader HAHAHA it's ok if u remove a character <3 if u don't want to write it feel free to ignore hehe”

Diluc

Even though you both decided to keep the relationship away from the public eye, it’s not shocking that certain people come and ask if you can deliver a message to Diluc. It tends to be Kaeya or even Jean, whenever the Knights of Favonius are too busy to handle something a little too dangerous. Sometimes it’s even Venti, trying to persuade you to convince Diluc to lower the dandelion wine price.

Whoever the person is, they come to you because they know that Diluc has a soft spot for you. If something catches your eye, expect it on your doorstep the following day. He loves to spoil you, to the point in which you have to tell him to stop gifting you things, and that his love is and will always be enough.

And obviously, they know that if someone can convince him of doing something, that someone is you. It’s amusing how the normal situation switches when it comes to you. If Kaeya approaches him and asks for a favor, expect a very angry Diluc rolling his eyes and turning around, completely dismissing him while trying to not make a scene in front of you and the other costumers at the tavern. But, if it’s you who delivers the message, he just sighs and meditates it, eventually giving in. You see him smile slightly once you quickly kiss his cheek and thank him.

“Why do you always decline these requests but accept them once I ask you?” You once asked, looking up to face him as you cuddled him in bed. His hair was messy and untied, but he still looked beautiful, specially under the moon light.

“Because you’re not annoying” he simply said, caressing your cheek. You stared at him, unconvinced. This earned you a soft laugh from the man beneath you.

“I don’t know, I just can’t say no to you. Which is funny because now everyone knows you’re my weakness” He said.

It was then and there that he understood how much you meant to him. You could ask him to pick up every single Cecilia flower in Mondstadt and he would not hesitate to do it. It was dangerous, and he knew that, but his feelings were too strong.

“Kaeya will definitely use this for-“ “I love you” he said, interrupting you. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips. It was the first time he said the big “L” word, maybe the first time in his life.

“I love you too” you whispered, still in awe from his previous confession.

He kissed you deeper than ever before, transmitting every single feeling he had into the kiss. You meant the world to him. He was in love.

The rest of the night was filled with quiet “I love you”s and cuddles, eventually falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Kaeya

One thing that helped him understand his feelings for you was that he could just be himself.

His past forced him to wake up and put on a facade as the flirty Cavalry Captain that had every person in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger. But you were different. When he was with you, he was Kaeya. No fancy titles, no social etiquette. Just Kaeya. Not only he felt comfortable enough to be himself around you, but you also seemed to like his true self as well. And that’s how he realized.

After long days filled with commissions and some paperwork, he would come home exhausted only to find you already waiting for him. Without need for words, he would wrap his arms around your waist and hide his face on your neck after leaving a small trace of kisses.

“Long day?” you asked as you gently hugged him, untied his hair and started brushing it with your fingers. He would reply with a small “hm” before looking up and kissing your lips.

This sight could confuse an outsider, since Kaeya, with his oh so flirty social title, is usually the one calling out for you or keeping his hands on you at any moment. Kaeya is not afraid to show his love to the world, and he makes that very clear in public. Yet, this sight made him look vulnerable, and that was something he reserved just for your eyes. You made his walls fall down, you made him vulnerable in the best way possible. He felt at peace when he was with you, and that feeling used to be so foreign to him due to the secrets of his past. But here he was, in your arms as he rambled about his day without care in the world.

His attitude towards you in public never changed much, always finding his way to make you swoon and fluster you. He loves to let everyone know that he is yours and you are his. But, once the doors close behind him, he would let his guard down completely with you. He would cling to your body as he seeks for advice or talk about his worries.

“I think that it’s best to ignore Pallad from now on since he always gets-“ you started saying, but noticing how Kaeya was looking at you made you lose your trail of thoughts. “Wh- Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You make me feel better about myself” Kaeya said, snuggling closer to you. He let out a chuckle when he heard you mutter a “huh?”

“You make me feel at peace, and I haven’t felt like that in a long while”

Albedo

Relationships were kind of new to Albedo, he wasn’t certain about the right way to show affection. But one thing he was sure about was that every time you came to visit him in his research room he felt funny inside. Funny in a good way, he felt a sudden urge to hold your hand or make you smile. 

To understand this feeling more, he started doing research on couples in Mondstadt. Was he the only one that felt this way at the sight of someone he cherished? Or was this the beginning of him becoming a monster and destroying the city of freedom at last? Lucky for him, he realized that it was considered normal to smile whenever you see your s/o. 

While he was doing his research, Klee appeared holding one of her treasures. She wanted to show Albedo her newest creation, but instead she found him staring at some old couple sitting by a fountain. She thought it was a strange sight. “What are you doing?” she asked, startling him. “Research” he simply said. “On old people? Why don’t you do a research on me? I’m young! And I have treasures!” “I don’t think you can be of use in this research” he said, sighing. 

It took Klee a while to understand what was happening, but when she did she started giggling uncontrollably. Albedo just stared at her wondering what was wrong with the child. “Albedo are you in love?”

Love, such a strange concept. He read about it, and now that Klee mentioned it, he realized that it made sense. He felt funny every time he managed to make you smile or laugh, and even more when he saw the blush on your face after complimenting you. He realized that the “funny” feeling happened because he loves you. He loves when you visit him, he loves when you ask him questions about his research and when you offer to help him. He loves you.

He immediately started searching for you, he felt the sudden urge to see and tell you about this discovery. Once he found you, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. You looked beautiful, and you weren’t even trying. You just came back from a commission and your hair was messy, and he noticed that your clothes were a bit dirty too. Yet you looked mesmerizing to him. 

“Albedo! I was on my way to visit you!” You greeted him once you saw him, kissing his cheek. 

“I made a new discovery today, dear.” He said, taking your hands in his. “I discovered that I’m in love with you”

Childe

If there’s something Childe is gonna do, is spoil you to no end. Similar to Diluc, if he noticed that something caught your eye for more than 3 seconds, expect it by your doorstep soon. And don’t even try to stop him, he just won’t listen.

Since he has to go away for weeks due to his line of work, he wants to spoil you so you don’t forget him. Not that you could anyways, you always thought of him and even prayed for his safe return. When he comes back, expect little souvenirs from his travels and stories he may or may not exaggerate a tiny bit.

He loves whenever you wear things he gifted you, and loves to tease you about it. “May I know who got you that beautiful necklace dear?” he would ask with a smirk on his face. “You, Childe” “That’s right, the best for my favorite person in the world”

But his love doesn’t come in material things only, he also loves to spend time with you. There are times that he has to go away for long periods of time, and after a few weeks he starts missing you so much he just has to send someone to pick you up and bring you to him. On those occasions he makes sure to do everything he has to do in the morning so he could spend the afternoon exploring with you.

His line of work is dangerous, and you know that. There are times in which you’re exploring some ruins with him and treasure hoarders appear. In those cases he asks you to close your eyes, and only open them when he tells you to. Under no circumstance he wants you to witness this side of him he tries so much to hide.

Once it’s over, he would reach to you gently and tell you to open your eyes. When you do, the sight in front of you breaks your heart. He was alright, not a single scratch on him, but his face was filled with worry and fear. “I’m sorry” he would say, closing his eyes and taking your hand. “Why are you apologizing?” “I’m a monster” he said, not daring to look at you.

It would take you a few minutes to convince him that he actually is not a monster. Those treasure hoarders appeared out of nowhere, and threatened you. He was just protecting you. “This is what I do all the time, how are you not scared of me?” He asked. You hugged him very tight, not wanting to let go of him until every drop of fear and guilt leaves his body. “I know you would never hurt me”

He knew you were right, he could never hurt you. He may think he is a monster unworthy of your love, but he knew that he could never lay a finger on you. And as you hugged him tight in front of some random ruins you were exploring, he realized he was in love and swore to himself he would do anything to protect you.

[straighttohellbuddy]

once you say it out loud it can’t be undone {Corpse Husband/Fem!Reader}

Summary: Non-Fatal Hanahaki AU. Feelings are fair game for nine months out of the year, but God forbid you develop a crush during Hanahaki Season; three months of coughing up petals just because you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back? It’s a damn inconvenience. You haven’t had an active Hanahaki Season in the four years since you started YouTube, and you think that since you’re in quarantine, not going outside, not meeting new people, you’ll be fine this year too! Except that you start playing Among Us with a group of people you’ve never met before, friends of friends, including the elusive Corpse Husband, who’s kind, and funny, and may be flirting with you, but you’re not quite sure. The point is, you make friends with him not expecting much beyond a streaming buddy, but then you get talking more often, chatting and joking at all hours in DMs, and he’s calling you sweet nicknames on stream, and you wake up on the first day of your Season coughing up flower petals and cursing yourself for falling for a man who’s first name you don’t even know! 

{ p l a y l i s t }

A/N: 17,511 words. hello i wrote and ~mildly~ edited this in 24 hours because my adhd said ‘u will write a terrifying amount of words about corpse’ and i said ‘YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY’. anyways, hi, i don’t write a lot for the YouTube fandom anymore because rpf is a trick grey area, but unfortunately i don’t control the hyperfixation and  the boy’s sweet personality + his edgy aesthetic hit all of my buttons. this has GRATUITOUS pop culture references, and if you don’t know what Stardew Valley is, it’s essentially a farm simulator but you also make friends with the NPCs in the nearby village. lots of different youtubers are mentioned, but Ethan (Crankgameplays / Eef) and Sean (Jacksepticeye / Spedicy), and I guess Charlie (Cr1tikal / Greaseball) and Mark (Markiplier) are the other more heavily featured folks. god there’s so many words. You’ll have to excuse me for not knowing the others too well, I’m embarrassed to admit that I only really watch Ze and Corpse often in terms of Among Us streams. ANYWAYS, please let me know what you think, I hope you like it! if this ever gets to corpse himself im going to delete this entire blog, just as a warning. no backups. yeet.

Warnings: Swearing. Mentions of illness, of coughing/throwing up flower petals, and foreign objects in the mouth and windpipe, but there is no risk posed beyond an inconvenience, just thought i should warn you. 

Citrus Scale: 💚 LIME 💚

Taglist: @slashersdream @divine-artemis​ @realmejay​ @lovemelikepercy​ @balla-deer​ @miniritzcrackers​ @loraleiix​ @ppopty​ @easygoingtheatre​ @insanedeathwish​ @siriuslystupid @losvertown @janiathecat​ @wineandionysus​ @moonlightsimp​ @allylyew @chokingonflxwers​ @sicnesa @xxniksxx​ @mishisamess​ @preciousskye @yashinosakura​ @meleekabenjamin​ @whatamievendoinghere01​ @lxurxn-02 @liljennyx3 @the-fusionist @benjaminka

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Hanahaki Season was different for everyone. No-one’s quite sure what evolutionary advantage there is to coughing up flowers for three months out of the year as the body’s way of dealing with perceived unrequited feelings, but, much to the entire world’s collective irritation, it was what it was. It begins for everyone when their first romantic feelings arise and aren’t reciprocated. That could be as early as kindergarten, wanting to hold hands with one of the kids in your class more than any other person, but watching them share their launchable with someone else, though middle school is most commonly where those feelings become strong enough to actually activate the bloom. Some people on the aromantic spectrum don’t activate it until their late teens, or college, or even later, and even then they may only experience it once or twice, since the situation in which they find themselves developing romantic feelings like that doesn’t occur often, or doesn’t occur during their Season. You’re kind of jealous of aromantic people who have never had to deal with it. 

Hanahaki Season lasts for three months, starting every year on the same date; the date you’d first ever had romantic feelings strong enough to start hacking up flower petals. You’re free to catch feelings for the other nine months without consequences, but watch out if you catch feelings around your Season, because your house tends to look like the opening of Ouran High School Host Club. The amount of flowers really varies depending on your feelings; you’d spent days putting professional florists to shame in the month leading up to your senior prom when you realized you had feelings for your best friend, right up until they asked you to go with them, and the petals had been gone the next day, but your smile hadn’t been.

Your body doesn’t care if they have feelings for you, all it knows is that you think they don’t, despite the feelings you absolutely, definitely have; it needs either a confirmation, or for you to get over it. 

You and your high school best friend had dated for about six months after prom, but decided that you were better off as friends, and thankfully, in the years since you’d started college, your Seasons had been a non-event; no romantic feelings, so nothing to worry about. It’s not that you didn’t go out, or didn’t date, it’s just that there was nothing serious enough to warrant an active Season when it actually came up.

You’ve had your YouTube channel since your Freshman year of college, something to do in your spare time, mainly playing videogames without a face cam. During your first year, you managed to develop a modest following of a few hundred, thousand subscribers, thanks to your long, gentle Stardew Valley videos. Even now, four years later, you’re still posting updates and playthroughs of it, which your long-time fans appreciate. 

After a year, you quickly gained a lot more traction, mostly because you joined Twitch, and finally added a face cam to your setup. Suddenly everyone knew what you looked like, and holy shit, they loved you! Your aesthetic surprised a lot of people; for your streams and videos, you put a lot of effort into your look, but the look itself was surprisingly in line with the pastel goth aesthetic, when people had clearly been expecting your attire to favour cottagecore. Despite it being unexpected, the look was definitely not unwelcome.

A little into your third year of YouTube, you graduated college, and hit a million subscribers, with a majority of your content still being either stream highlights, or long playthroughs with your gentle commentary over the top. Someone once likening you to Sykkuno in terms of wholesomeness, and after checking out his content, you were more than flattered by the comparison. Being called ‘SFW Cr1tikal’ was less flattering, though that was more to do with how calming your delivery was to listen to, and how your commentary sometimes came a little out of left field, or carried off on = unrelated tangents. You’re the YouTube gaming community’s darling, soft spoken with a kind attitude, someone who makes friends easily, finding yourself fitting in with the big dogs on the platform, despite how abrasive their own playthrough styles may be. 

So you hadn’t really thought about playing Among Us, it wasn’t exactly your brand. Oh, you’re well aware of it’s meteoric rise in popularity, and you weren’t against playing it with friends, but it’s not exactly something you’d seek out in your own time. Some of your followers wanted to see you play it, but a surprising majority were hesitant to watch you try it; the game was built on lying and backstabbing, and you, well you weren’t ruthless or cut-throat. You got upset when you gave a villager a gift they didn’t like in Stardew Valley, there’s no way you could kill and lie to your friends! Surely you were far too sweet to be good at Among Us.

The thing is, you’ve worked hard to make your online personality a kind and gentle experience, because for the most part, you are a kind and gentle person. You like to give people the benefit of the doubt, try to see the best in people, and treat others with kindness, because you’re well aware how difficult it is exist in modern society. That being said, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have depth; you’re a human being, one who’s been through college and had your fair share of weird and wonderful experiences. You’re neither as innocent nor as fragile as the world seems to expect, and you know you can be as deceitful and cunning as the next person if the need arises.

In the end, it’s Ethan who invites you to play with a few other YouTubers, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, and ChilledChaos, to name a few, people you’ve spoken to occasionally and would probably consider acquaintances, though their reach far outstrips your own. Ethan’s one of the first people you reached out to when you were starting to get a following, and since you graduated college, and moved to LA, he’s also been your closest friend. So of course you agree.

Unsurprisingly, as soon as the lineup and streaming time had been announced on Twitter, confusion arose within your own fandom. You tweeted out a reassurance that they shouldn’t be concerned that you’re trying new things, that it’s an adventure, a chance to diversify, and that you’d still be making the content you’re known for. For now the fans seemed placated, and obligingly waited to judge for themselves, trusting your judgement in the meantime.

Before the stream starts, everyone’s joining the voice chat, making sure they’re all at the right levels, all recording, before you all go live. The very first thing Ethan announces for all of you and your collective audiences to hear, is that he can’t wait to see you play Imposter.

“What do you mean?” You played up your innocence in the voice chat, since as far as anyone else was aware, this was your first experience with the game.

“Glad to know I’m not the only one flying blind here,” Mark announces, and you tried not to let the guilt you felt show on your face, to your audience, for having mislead him.

Now, it’s not as if you’ve come into this completely blind; in preparation you’d watched a few Among Us streams by your friends, most notably Chilled’s. At the very least, you knew how the game worked theoretically, which you hoped would translate when you actually played, though you still weren’t certain it would. Ethan’s interest in seeing you in the Imposter role, however, appeared to stem from the fact that your kind persona didn’t seem to betray the conniving streak that you knew ran deep within you; none of the others had ever encountered it, and half even seemed to be convinced you didn’t have it in you. That, at the very least, you knew you could use to your advantage. Showing compassion to single-player horror game monsters was one thing, survival in a multiplayer competition that relied on deceit was something else entirely, and something you were more than capable of, even if the others didn’t realise it just yet.

When the others explain the game in brief, it’s mostly for Mark’s benefit at this point, though you’re glad to get a refresher on the mic-muting system before the game begins.

You’re a crewmate for the first game, doing tasks, keeping quiet during most of the meetings since you’re genuinely not sure of the names of the different areas of the ship. When you can, after spending a full round with him, you vouch for the little red one, Ze, during the second meeting, which only made him murdering you the very next round all the more surprising.

“Betrayal,” you gasp as you unmute your mic. Your chat immediately started blowing up with ‘BETRAYAL’, while Tesh and Wade made noises of agreement. Even as a ghost, you try and finish your tasks, however it’s not long before -

“Who murdered Y/N?” Ethan shouted into chat at the top of his lungs the minute he discovers your body, which is quickly followed by the remaining, living players bursting out laughing, gently ribbing him for making it seem like anyone would just admit to the murder on the basis of it being you. 

Poor Mark, not that he’d even killed anyone, is the next to be voted off after venting in front of Sean, since he was still yet to get a handle on all mechanics of the game. Ze, your murderer and relative veteran of the game, still managed to survive, pulling the Imposters through to a victory.

“J’accuse, Ze?” You ask, when you’re all back in the drop ship lobby, and his answering chuckle is coloured by a hint of guilt, before he’s apologising half-heartedly, though you’re quick to brush it off and put it behind you both.

“She defended you!” Ethan pointed out, and to his credit Ze admitted that’s why he felt bad about killing you only minutes later. You tell him that there’s no hard feelings, all water under the bridge, and the next game begins.

You keep getting crewmate for most of the stream, which lasted several hours, though at least in that time you gotten an understanding of the mechanics and controls, as well as the people you were playing with. After everyone concedes to a final round for the night, that’s when the word Imposter appears above your character’s head, alongside Ethan. 

You chat is going nuts. 

You fake card swipe in Admin, and kill Sean as he’s doing wires, immediately calling a Reactor emergency and venting into Medbay to then run out, alongside Tesh coming from Cafeteria, towards Reactor. After reactor, however, Sean’s body was found, and that’s when you discover Ethan’s killed Wade too.

Discussion follows, where you’d point out you’d come from Medbay and saw Tesh coming from Cafeteria right after the Reactor emergency began, not saying as much as you were implying her guilt. Immediately guided by the sincerity in your voice, the remaining players start grilling Tesh on her movements, not even thinking to question yours. 

When Tesh was voted out, sent careening from the airlock, your chat couldn’t seem to believe how earnestly you’d thrown an innocent under the bus. You give a half-smirk, taking in your audience’s reaction, but you don’t feel the need to comment, just plan your next attack. 

You find yourself meeting up with Ethan on your way out of Storage, as he comes from Communications, and the pair of you find Tyler by Shields. You and Ethan pause by Tyler, who wiggles at you both once he’s finished his task, and you quietly mutter to chatter, asking whether or not Ethan’s going to kill Tyler, or if he’s waiting for you. As if answering your unspoken question, Ethan hits the lights and you go in for the kill. The pair of you take off immediately, heading north to fix lights and flee the crime scene. 

“Holy shit,” Chilled announces when he calls a meeting, only to see that there’s only five of you left, since the lights being off meant no-one had found Tyler, Ethan had presumably killed Ryann in Communications before the two of you had met up.

“I don’t trust Y/N,” Mark said slowly.

“Mark?” You did your best to inject as much betrayal and disappointment into your voice as you could.

“You seem too sweet,” he went on, and okay that was kind of valid, but still, there was no supporting evidence that he could point to for that being valid in the eyes of anyone else.

“Y/N and I were together for most of the last round, we fixed the lights together,” Ethan pointed out; Tyler was probably yelling with his mic off.

“That’s true, I had just jumped on cams and saw Y/N and Eef meet up outside of Comms and go through to Shields just before lights went off,” Chilled confirmed, and Mark hummed, loud and thoughtful.

“Mark, why are you sus on Y/N?” Bob asked, and Mark began to splutter loudly, reaffirming that you just seemed too sweet to be innocent, like you were hiding something. Ethan points out that you had plenty of time to kill him, but didn’t, which only has Mark’s spluttering growing louder as he defends himself.

“Well maybe you’re both imposters!” But it doesn’t land with the sentiment he probably hopes it does, as both Chilled and Bob seem to be convinced that Mark is just throwing out accusations to save himself, and you and Ethan are more than happy to follow their lead and vote him out. 

The minute the screen shows that the imposters won, the voice chat is a riot. Loudest of all, unsurprising, was Mark’s vitriolic yelling about how he was right, and to never trust the nice ones, with Tyler asking how you could both betray him like that. All you could do was laugh and offer apologies as the stream was ending. 

You’d had a good time, enjoyed yourself, and it seems like your subscribers enjoyed it well enough. If you were to be invited back, you knew you’d be more than happy to jump at the opportunity. That opportunity arose sooner than you’d expected, with Sean sending you a Twitter DM asking if you wanted to play with him and a few friends on a stream in a few days time. 

Of course you said yes.

Once news hit of you joining Sean’s usual Among Us crew, a new series of speculation began to occur, most notably people worried about seeing you interact with people like Cr1tikal and Pewds, while others were excited to see more of the Imposter-side of you that they hadn’t realised had been there before you’d played a genuinely competitive game. Until the actual stream, however, you just played your usual Stardew Valley stream, spent another few hours trying to get through more of Star Wars Jedi: The Fallen Order on it’s Grandmaster difficulty.

You enter the Among Us lobby under the name 2sweet, an idea that had come curtesy of Mark’s speculations and ranting last time you’d played, and it managed to get Sean to laugh as he was introducing you to the others over the voice chat. A lot of them had nicknames like that, Greaseball, Spedicy - Charlie and Sean respectively - and CORPSE, all capitals, though you had no real frame of reference for him beyond that.

Your chat was begging you to say hi to him.

“Chat wants me to say hi to Corpse,” you say tentatively, to which you heard a heavy laugh, Corpse’s microphone image lighting up in the corner of your screen at the same time.

“She hasn’t played with you before, has she?” Pewds was snickering, and you reminded them that this is technically only your second time playing.

“Come on, Sean, this isn’t fair on her, you’ve brought her into a big brain server for her second time, no prep, no lube, that’s just cruel,” Charlie piped up, and while his wording left you a little shocked, Sean was quick to defend your skills from your last game, warning them not to underestimate you.

“Anyways,” you gave a laugh once he’d quietened down, feeling a little abashed at the show of support, “hi Corpse.” You returned to your chat’s original request, and there was that laugh again.

“Hi 2sweet,” came his response, and oh okay, chat’s interest makes total and complete sense. You know the suddenly flustered surprise reads on your face because the chat is suddenly spamming the 😳 emoji and ‘GIRL SAME’.

“That makes sense,” you find your voice quickly, trying to play it cool, “I didn’t understand why they were so adamant when like, there’s more than one person in the lobby, but,” you nod, clicking your tongue, “yeah that makes sense.” And almost everyone is quick to chime in with amused agreement. Sykkuno then greets you with enthusiasm, which you return in kind, excited to be finally playing with him after so many people had drawn similarities between the two of you. 

The game gets underway, and you’re a crewmate first up once more, but this time you don’t have to wait until the final game to play Imposter. 

Maybe it’s because they don’t know you, maybe they’re taking you simply at face value, the kind voice and earnest tone of it all, but you manage to pull through to a victory without anyone seriously suspecting you. The other Imposter is Charlie, who is unfortunately voted off after the third round, however, each time you were asked about your movements, or motivations, or opportunities, or whereabouts, you were able to bullshit your way through an alibi and turn suspicion on someone else without hesitation. 

“I was sus on Pewds since the start,” finally, it was down to you, Corpse, and Pewds, the final three; you’d just killed Sykkuno and self-reported. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Pewds hollered while you were trying not to laugh, “2sweet, what the -”

“Pewds, I literally walked past you in Cafeteria like you were coming out of weapons, and then found poor Sykkuno’s body in weapons!” You told him, tone even and sincere, while he screeched in frustration.

“Sykkuno was alive and well and doing the- the pew pew- the laser weapons task when I left! You probably vented in there and killed him and then vented to Admin to run into me leaving Cafeteria,” he accused.

“I don’t even know where Admin is!” You argued back, playing the dumb and innocent card. Even so, the bubble popped up above Pewd’s character saying that he voted, and you knew he’d voted for you before he even announced as such. You voted for him in retaliation, “how could I big-brain like that without even knowing where I am?” You countered, despite the fact that he had guessed your play exactly. 

“Corpse, please man, don’t- don’t kill us all; don’t vote for me, I’m innocent,” Pewds finally was the one to addressing the third remaining player, the deciding vote, and Corpse, who for his part, had been quiet during your argument, hummed thoughtfully.

“I wouldn’t kill Sykkuno over Pewds, if I was the imposter,” you lied, in an attempt to play on the loyalties that a few others had teased him about before the round. At least it got him to snort a laugh.

“That’s a good point,” Corpse mused.

“No it’s not!” Pewds scoffed, and you had to press your hand to your mouth to keep from laughing. 

“Gotta go with my gut here guys, I was in Electrical so I didn’t see any of this shit go down,” and Corpse voted, without actually saying who he’d voted for. The three of you waited with baited breath as the votes were counted. Pewds was out.

“You doomed us all,” Pewds told him flatly as it showed him getting ejected, followed by the Imposter winning screen. 

“Ah, fuck,” Corpse muttered, but he didn’t seem too mad about it as everyone else began unmuting themselves.

“Holy shit, 2sweet, you had me half convinced Pewds was imposter and I was the other imposter, what the fuck?” Charlie snickered, sounding almost proud.

“2sweet’,” Corpse muttered, as if he couldn’t quite believe that he’d fallen for it. You give a soft, sincere apology for lying to him, “too sweet is definitely right.” Your actual name isn’t 2sweet, so why did it send a shiver down your spine every time he addressed you like that?

But you keep that to yourself.

The rest of the stream goes well, several hours and a few more imposter runs, getting to know the other streamers and developing the basis of a few friendships, and getting invited to future streams, much to your delight.

“Bye 2sweet’s chat, bye 2sweet,” Corpse adds as the session is ending, amusement clear in his voice, to which you snort.

“Bye Corpse,” you respond, before adding, “bye Corpse’s chat who didn’t ask about me.” That gets him to laugh, the sound of which fills your ears and warms something in your chest, strangely enough. The rest of the streamers also say goodbye to your’s and Corpse’s audiences after that, before you all go your separate ways. 

You finish editing the footage from your first Among Us stream the following day, and upload it under the title ‘AM I TOO SWEET FOR THIS GAME? | AMONG US WITH FRIENDS’, right around the time that the rest of the people that had been featured in the stream begin uploading their recordings of it also.

Suddenly, you seemed to be gaining an influx of followers, you assumed from several of the other big-name YouTubers that were part of the stream. This, of course, also also meant new Twitter, Instagram, and Twitch followers, which, while lovely, was also concerning. Your followers were generally as chill and kind as the content you produced, and of course there were a few bad apples, but you made it known that bullying and harassments was unacceptable within your fandom, and you tried to personally see to that as best you could. But newcomers, viewers used to Mark and Ethan and Sean, who don’t know your content and your vibe, you weren’t sure how they were going to perceive you. While you were hopeful they’d fit in easily, you couldn’t guarantee anything. So you were waiting to see what happened.

With the release of the videos also came a lot of fellow content creators following you too, other gamers who you hadn’t been aware of until now, including the folks from your second stream, last night. 

An hour after the video has been uploaded, you check your twitter, only to see that @Corpse_Husband has replied to you tweeting out your Among Us video, replying to the title specifically. 

@Corpse_Husband: Yes.

Several people have commented under his tweet, including Pewds, Mark, and Chilled, all in agreement. Sean just comments that Corpse is mad that he didn’t think you were sus when you were the imposter. You respond to the whole thread with a blushing smile and sparkling heart emoji. 

Soon enough, fan art began popping up of your Among Us video, a few of which you retweeted; you really liked the ones that made you and Ethan look like a terrifying murder duo, watching Tyler do his little dance of friendship at Shields, while the two of you were holding knives behind your back. 

Ethan retweets one that you tag him in, adding that he’s never been so happy to be terrified of himself. The two of you then spend some time in DMs making plans to play something with a few other friends in the near future. You check Discord, and see Sean’s messaged you about another stream in a few days with the crew from last night, and Chilled was messaging you too, about a potential session with Ze, and a few folks you hadn’t played with before. It’s easy to agree to it all, to fit it into the schedule you’d developed at the start of quarantine after your job had made you redundant. Now with nothing but free time on your hands, it was streaming daily; Stardew Valley once or twice a week, single-play streams of whatever took your fancy every other day, and now hopefully two Among Us collabs. Seven days a week, editing when you’re not playing, and keeping up your friendships online when you’re not editing. It keeps you busy, it keeps your mind active so you’re not going stir crazy in quarantine. 

“Hey 2sweet, hey 2sweet’s chat,” has become something of a ritualistic greeting from Corpse whenever the two of you played together, which you would return in kind, greeting both him and his chat with a smile in your voice. You’d now played with him in a few streams over the past few weeks, chatting in DMs, and from time to time you found yourself watching his stream highlights, if only to see what had been really happening whenever he had been shady and evasive in the stream. There was something easy about talking to him; for reasons that seemed lost to the rest of the crew, the two of you just seemed to get along. Maybe it’s that he had a growing appreciation for your surprisingly varied set of interests, which he admitted to not suspecting when he’d first spoken to you, given your demeanor. 

You also shared a fondness for Sykkuno, and spent two full games attempting to bodyguard him together, leading Charlie, and subsequently a dedication portion of your fans, to start calling you the Sykkuno Simp Squad. 

And okay, yes, something about Corpse’s voice, the kind way he spoke to you, the way he seemed to be quick to defend you, it set your heart aflutter, but you could keep that to yourself. You hadn’t even realised it would be an actual problem until someone had brought up -

“Yeah, like a year ago I had to wait, like, a full half an hour for a coffee, I wasn’t mad or anything, it’s not like I had anywhere to be, but it turns out the barista had straight up, like, Kill Bill style blood-sprayed petals all over the coffee machine and they had to clean it off,” Charlie had mentioned; you’re not sure how the conversation had gotten to Hanahaki, but suddenly a cold sense of dread was pooling in the pit of your stomach. Suddenly your harmless feelings became far less harmless.

“Aren’t there, like, OH&S issues around that?” Toast asked, and someone else made a vague comment about paid time off varying from company to company, but Pewds cuts in quickly.

“That’s gotta be one of the best things about quarantine; I mean, I haven’t had to deal with that shit since like, high school, and Marzia and I got together before either of our Seasons hit, but like, going outside less means meeting less people, right? That’s gotta mean active Seasons have been low,” you wished that was the case, and according to Sean, you’re not alone.

“Yeah, you’d think,” Sean muses, “but I don’t know if you saw, Ethan was coughing up petals from March, just because he’s got a thing for one of his local baristas and he keeps wondering if they’re okay in the pandemic, even though he’s not seeing them,” it wasn’t that Sean was outing Ethan, since he’d been taking part in Unus Annus he couldn’t exactly hide what was happening. 

Ethan had explained his situation as vaguely as possible, as to not out who this person specifically was, but with enough descriptor that his online friends wouldn’t be harrassed for possibly being the object of his affection. It worked. Mostly. You’d gotten a few weird DMs during those months, but they were easy to ignore.

He and Mark had spent a good few videos actually studying the petals and their properties, as well as Ethan himself. It had even lead to the meme of Mark yelling at the top of his lungs ‘this is what you get for having feelings’ while Ethan made a comically upset face, tongue out with a few petals still sticking to it. 

“My Season hasn’t been active since, like, my senior year of high school,” you heard yourself saying, not quite sure why, “I’m dreading my next one, I think I’ve forgotten how irritating they are,” you laugh but there’s no real humor in it, and the conversation quickly moves on.

Your stream chat, however, did not. When did your Season start, they wanted to know, why had you even brought it up, could it be active this year; what does it all mean - ?!

Imposter, first round, with Toast.

The crew votes you out during the second round, and with good reason. Your mind was elsewhere, still on the earlier Hanahaki conversation; you can’t come up with any sort of convincing alibi, and suddenly you’re watching yourself get thrown into lava. 

“Warm up round,” you’d laughed, hoping your audience would buy it, hoping you could play off your weirdness as first round jitters, sticking with following Toast for the rest of the game, helping him sabotage. Eventually, and unfortunately, he was voted out during the final round, and as everyone’s unmuting themselves in the lobby, he asks you what happened.

“Head wasn’t in the game,” you sighed, “what team? Not Wildcats, apparently,” you sounded so disappointed in yourself, but thankfully the reference and your dramatics got a few people to laugh.

“’s okay, Sweets, you’ll get ‘em next time,” Corpse adds, and you think you can feel your heart skip a beat at the nickname. 

“You’re just being nice because I didn’t kill you,” you responded after a moment, trying, once more, to play it cool.

“Only ‘cos you didn’t get the chance,” he snickers, something in his tone that you can’t quite decipher, but it makes your pulse race, “I know you’d have killed me if you could.” 

“On a good day, 2sweet would kill us all and make a delicious fucking pie, Sweeny Todd style,” Charlie adds, giving you time to calm your erratic and traiterous heart, “and be all cutesy about it, too.” 

“In real life?” Sean asks, clearly amused.

“Of-fucking-course in real life,” Charlie’s adamantly doubling down, completely sincere, “she sounds like she’s all sweet and innocent, but you guys have seen her on Instagram, she looks like she bites; like a colorful poisonous toad, it’s a warning. I know Mark warned you about her and I think he’s damn right; beware the nice ones.”

“It’s so cute you think I’m nice, Charlie!” You couldn’t help yourself, rejoining the conversation with your tone bright and chipper, only to be suddenly met with silence.

“Fuck,” Corpse breathed, tone on the edge of amused and strangely dazed.

“I’d like to go on record to say that I am afraid,” Charlie added, but you could hear he was grinning. 

“You were a little angel before you started playing Among Us,” Sean points out, and now your grin is all teeth, not that any of the other players can see. Chat appreciates it, though.

“Then blame Eef, he’s the one who invited me,” you reminded him, “and for the record, this is the first game I’ve played that’s required lying and backstabbing in order to win; Mario Kart’s not exactly asking people to gaslight their friends,” the comparison, while amusing, does help your point, “just because I never told you I was capable of evil, doesn’t mean I’m not.” 

“I like Evil-Y/N,” Sykkuno says with complete sincerity, breaking the silence that had followed your words.

“I like you too, buddy!” You coo, sitting back in your chair, wearing a grateful little smile, hand pressed to your chest, strangely touched by his words as the conversation picks back up right before the next round starts. 

During the next round, in which you’re a crewmate, you’re doing your download task in Cafeteria when you chance a glance to your chat, only to see people excitedly spamming ‘Sweets!’ or talking about how they ship you and Corpse. It’s weirdly validating, not that you’d give any indication that you’d seen those particular messages, however clearly it appears that your crush hadn’t formed on the basis of absolutely nothing.

But you’re desperately trying not to think about it, especially not with your Season starting in less than a month. 

It’s difficult to not think about when you’re editing footage, listening to him defend you, pay you occasional compliments, joke with you, and it’s like you can already feel the familiar ache of the petals in your chest, your windpipe. There’s no way around it, no way to will these feelings away now that you know they’ve taken root. This Season is going to be Hell.

It’s easy to turn your mind off when you’re streaming Stardew Valley, vibing out to low-fi Spotify playlists. You take care of your farm, give villagers blueberries and jugs of milk, and try and romance Shane, the sad chicken man. Again. This is not your original farm, but you’ve been playing for four years, so it’s understandable that you’ve had a few in that time. 

“He likes chilis,” you’ve been quiet for almost fifteen minutes, working quietly and diligently to water your crops, check your crab traps, and collect the produce from your farm animals. Now, you’re in your greenhouse, plucking chilis from the vines so you can gift them to Shane, “it’s why I have literally hundreds, I never want to run out for my sad chicken man,” and as if anyone was doubting your claim, you open your inventory to reveal, among other things, a stack of four hundred normal-quality chilis, and several hundred gold and silver starred chilis right beside them. Point well proven. 

“I would like to collect four-hundred chilis for a real person,” you’re not even fully aware of what you’re saying, speaking without even registering the words as they come out of your mouth, “but unfortunately we are in a pandemic and I don’t know what I would collect for...” and you trail off, suddenly coming back into your mind, closing your mouth as a frown creased your brow. Catching yourself before you admitted your feelings, you think that perhaps you have to turn your mind off a little less, lest something slip out that you don’t want the whole world to be aware of. As it currently is, your chat is yelling at you, asking who’s name you were about to say, but you change topics quickly, ignoring their invasive questions for the time being.

Tomorrow, ‘four-hundred chilis’ would be the new, hot meme in your fandom, it will mean love, it will mean forbidden romance, it will mean a relationship kept secret, but for now you’re quiet, humming along to your music, watering your crops. 

But still, you can’t deny the fact that it’s gotten you thinking; gift giving was one of your love languages, but you have no idea what you’d get Corpse if -

If.

You’re thinking too far ahead.

You’re starting to think outside of the hypotheticals. 

Fuck. 

You try to tell your foolish heart to calm down, but it doesn’t seem to want to listen, and now that the fandom has started to connect the dots - you mentioning your upcoming Hanahaki Season, the fact that you’d heavily implied that there’s someone you’d like to ‘collect four-hundred chilis for’ - they won’t let you forget that they know. Part of the fandom is very vocal about how it’s invasive to try and figure out who you have feelings for, but there’s still a few that try and persist, nosy and desperate for information. 

When someone brings it up in another one of your Stardew Valley streams, you laugh it off, playing coy, telling them that it could very well be a cute mailman for all the fandom knew. While that did dissuade most of them, the few painfully persistent ones kept at it, albeit much quieter than they had been before. It’s a step in the right direction, but not a big one.

Meanwhile, you’re still talking to Corpse almost every day, through Twitter and Instagram DMs and the occasional Discord message, and by now you’re friendship is truly solid. He’s still calling you Sweets, despite knowing your actual name, though it’s more a pet name than anything else at this stage, and it’s not like you want him to stop.

He messages you once, a few months into your friendship, without warning, halfway through a Stardew Valley stream.

[just wanted to see your reaction live]

It takes a few moments. You read it, then read it again. Surprise blooms across your face as you’re looking at your phone, live, in front of your audience, and apparently Corpse. Quickly, you pause the game, and look directly into the camera, schooling your expression into something that at least looks less flustered than you feel.

“That’s how you tell me you’re watching my stream?” You ask out loud, addressing him without saying as much, much to the confusion of chat. Somehow, you know he’s probably laughing. 

[its relaxing as fuck 😂 but i feel like i know too much about a game ive never played]

“Hey, sorry guys,” you say, smiling sweetly into the camera, trying to preserve your composure with you phone held tight in your grip, “a thing has come up, just give me a few minutes and I’ll be back.” And with that, you mute your mic, turning up the low-fi playlist that had been running in the background so you could leave the stream running and move out of frame.

Part of you really wants to scream in frustration. How is he so oblivious to the effect his words have on you?

[dude how long have you been watching? and more importantly WHY]

[i watch a lot of streams when im editing]

[yours are chill as hell tho, like asmr or smth]

[good background noise]

[why’d you message mid stream??]

[idk im taking a break from editing just been watching u fish for eels]

[you’re a menace]

[i can turn it off if you want, p sure ze and chilled are also live]

[they’re rowdy tho. its why im watching u]

[i just can’t believe u messaged mid stream 😂😂😂]

[sorry sweets 😂🖤]

After taking a deep breath, you feel like you can return to your stream. The moment you’re back he sends into chat ‘hey sweets. hey sweets chat’. Neither your name, nor your channel name, is anything close to Sweets, but something about him sticking by the habit, by the pet name, warms your heart. Not that anyone’s allowed to know that.

[if you wanna chill in my stream, feel free 😘]

[if u ever play the game i will happily come to ur farm and water your crops and silently judge your plant choices]

[you’re too kind haha. i might consider it]

“Corpse Husband,” in a tone that implies that you’re addressing him by his full name, yet still somehow as sweet and kind as you’ve ever been, as his name pops up on your screen, along with the little animation for new subscribers, “you are a menace.” You tell him, almost comically deadpan, though right before you sit back, you stop holding back your little smile as the rest of the chat is losing it’s collective mind.

The first fanfic appears on tumblr two days later.

Menace (Corpse_Husband x Y/N)

No matter how intrigued you are, you tell yourself you’re not going to read it. Something about it feels like an invasion of privacy, like someone else has picked up on your feelings and is doing their best to craft a fantasy for you, without them even realising. It feels too... personal, to see how someone interprets your relationship with the person you’re actually harboring secret feelings for.

Except this isn’t the first time you’ve had fics written about yourself and your friends; you and Ethan had been collabing closely in person for about six months, a year ago when you’d first moved to LA. It had been out of necessity, for lack of a better word, since you’d been crashing on his sofa for a chunk of that time while looking for an apartment of your own, and, at least at first, he had been only person you actually knew in LA. So your friendship had been very close, in fact it still is, and it had been the source of a bunch of edit-based Instagram profiles, fanfics, and YouTube edits. You found them endearing more than anything else, even though you and Ethan thought of each other more as siblings rather than anything romantic. Yes, you’d read and watched and consumed the fan content for you and Ethan; there was something enjoyable about seeing how other people interpreted your friendship from the fleeting glimpses of it that they had been given. Both of you were secure enough in your friendship that you would even share your favourites with each other privately.

But with Corpse, it feels.... too real. 

Too much like wish fulfillment that you hadn’t earned.

But you’re still streaming with him, and a rotating cast of others, about once a week, despite your feelings, despite your Season looming ever closer.

The messages pop up halfway through a game where you’d been Imposter, following Corpse as an alibi, marinating him. You try to act like you hadn’t seen it, but the knowledge of him apparently using a somehow more endearing pet name for you, without you even hearing, is already burned into your brain. Suddenly it feels like you’re too close in the game, like you can’t stay there knowing what you know, what you think you know, so you run. The reactor emergency is set off as you enter Medbay, and you swiftly kill Rae on the scanner, then proceeding to vent to security to help out with the emergency before the body is found.

[HELLO HI IM HERE FROM CORPSE’S STREAM]

[HE CALLED YOU SWEET PEA]

And when a different body is found, you keep your mouth shut about what you’d read in chat, but vouch for Corpse as he vouches for you.

And you keep your mouth shut about it when the round is over, you win, and he asks how you could betray him. Someone else accuses him of having a soft spot for you, so of course you’d trust him to help you with your alibi. Chat is spamming ‘SWEET PEA’. He doesn’t say anything about it either, so you’re not quite sure if it’s true; you keep it to yourself just incase.

And when he uploads his highlights of the stream, you watch the whole thing through, only to see both of you walk into Admin like you so clearly remember, seeing yourself hover by the wiring while he goes to card swipe. Then you hear ‘I think she’s good; if she wanted to kill me, she probably would have, this has been a long round’ followed by a deep breath, and you think it’s over as he fails the card swipe once, that the chat had been teasing you, but then; ‘okay, Sweet Pea, I’m really trusting you here’. The gentle laugh he follows it with as he fails the tasks a few more times, has your mind reeling. His tone had been so trusting, so sincere, the nickname - Sweet Pea! - sounding so natural. You can feel your heart beat in your throat.

And in a few days you wake up gasping and coughing and spluttering, petals blooming in your throat, escaping your lips, vibrant and purple against your bedspread as a strange sense of embarrassment sits heavy in your chest.

You don’t even know his first name.

It’s so stupid. 

“You’ll have to forgive my rough voice and occasional cough, I promise it’s not COVID, I just started my Season yesterday,” you admit at the start of a Super Mario 64 stream the following day, choosing the game for primarily nostalgic, comfort reasons. Chat is spamming chili emojis, dedicated in their quest to never let you forget how you’d almost outed yourself. In return, all you can do is give a faint, pained smile; it feels a little like adding insult to injury, but you know they don’t mean it maliciously.

Now your name’s splattered across blogs that keep track of public figures’ Seasons; it’s like all the requests you’ve made over the past few months about not speculating, about leaving well enough alone, have been forgotten. The comments of your videos, of your streams, of any posts you make, are flooded with questions and speculation, and you’re so tired.

It’s not something you’ve ever wanted to discuss on your channel, it hadn’t ever been relevant before, but you’ve spent years discussing the ethics of confessing during your Season, seeing as you’ve always found it to be a tricky grey area; on the one hand, there’s the lucky ones, whose feelings are returned, and the Season ends early. On the other, however, telling people that they’re in-part responsible for your discomfort, letting them sit with the weight of your confession if they don’t return your feelings, it feels cruel. So you’d long ago, before meeting Corpse, even before your last Season in high school, that you’d rather keep quiet about who it’s about, wait it out until your Season is over, and maybe, maybe, bring it up after. But mostly you just hoped your feelings would fade, to spare yourself the possible embarrassment. Perhaps by next year, you’ll be doing something completely different, with a whole new group of friends, and this will just be a fond memory. Was it cruel to hope that? All you wanted was the least pain and embarrassment for everyone involved. 

Corpse messages you before the next Among Us stream asking if you’re feeling up to it, and you remember too late that he may have witnessed you hacking up little, dark purple flowers on your livestream. The flowers are always different, depending on the person, but this time around they’ve left you confused. Last time had been yellow roses, since you’d been in love with your best friend, but little purple flowers? Beyond a vague association of dark colors with his aesthetic, you’re not sure what relation they have. You try not to think about it. 

You tell him you’re fine, as long as the group doesn’t mind you being muted more than usual, so they don’t hear you coughing. 

Everyone in the stream is sympathetic to you when you explain your situation, and thankfully they don’t ask any questions beyond if you’re okay. You tell them you’re as well as can be expected

Someone in your chat posts the Unus Annus ‘this is what you get for having feelings’ meme right as the round begins and you start laughing so hard you start coughing, and miss the entire first round, doubled over a wastepaper basket.

“2sweet, you doing an AFK-strat?” Charlie asks the minute the body is reported. Reaching over blindly, you unmute yourself while still coughing, and once he makes a noise of comprehension, you mute again, listening to them arguing about the body found in Electrical. 

“Okay, I’m back,” your voice is rough after you take a long drink of water, “who - oh Lily, sorry.” You see that it had been Lily who had been killed, and everyone else had voted to skip, and you follow suit, back in the game at last. 

You’re killed quickly after that, and attempt to do your tasks, but the Imposters end up talking circles around everyone else, getting innocent people voted out with ease, getting a pretty clean win, and then you’re all back in the lobby.

“Can I ask what kind of flowers they are?” Lily asks, voice sweet and earnest, “if that’s too personal that’s okay, I just think it’s interesting, you know?” And you hesitate for a moment, but decide that there isn’t exactly anything you know of that could be a tell for the object of your affection. You’re gonna go out on a limb and assume that the others don’t have the depth of knowledge about flowers that would mean they could identify a flower from a rough, oral description and nothing else. Hopefully. 

“They’re uh, they’re purple,” you say finally, “they’re not lilies,” you add as a joking aside, and she plays at being disheartened, but laughs after a beat, “but they’re like, little and purple, dark as hell, but with white near the base of the petal? I don’t know what type, I should look into it,” you muse, before continuing, “last time I had these big, irritating, yellow rose petals, because I had feelings for my best friend; these are much more manageable.” Despite your laugh, you couldn’t help the self conscious feeling from suddenly settling in your chest, like you’d already said too much. 

When your turn as Imposter comes around, you try to hold in your coughing as much as possible during the round itself, keeping your mouth closed and eyes focused as you moved around the map and tactically killed your friends alongside Sykkuno, only bending over to spit out the petal buildup once a body had been found or a meeting had been called. It’s taking a lot of effort for you to keep your mind focused on the game, but something about it must work, since the two of you end up winning, despite Sykkuno being tossed out into the sky on the second last round.

“Can I just say,” Sean begins when you’re all back in the lobby, “and I mean with with the utmost kindness and affection, and Y/N, you know I love you like a friend, like a sister, like a -”

“This is a lot of buildup, why do I feel like I’m about to get roasted?” You smirk, to which a few others laugh.

“All I’m saying, is that you play this game with us, and with- with Ze and his crew, right? So twice a week?” And you confirm as much, confused, “I play, and I know several others of us here play, what some might consider ‘too much’,” but his tone is joking and kind, “and yet you waltz in here, with only, what - let me do a little math here -” he muttered, before announcing loudly, “with about twenty four streams, and you’re literally hacking up lungfuls of flowers as we speak, and yet you’re still a little whiz at this.”

“It’s called talent, Sean,” Corpse comes to your defense without missing a beat, and Sean’s right back in after him.

“It’s called witchcraft, you bloody simp!”

Yet again, you find yourself laughing so hard you’re coughing up another set of petals for everyone to hear - this is the worst it’s been all Season, you find yourself musing. When you come back to reality, to the stream Sean is apologising, while almost everyone else is reprimanding him for setting you off coughing again, though Corpse himself is thankfully laughing too.

“My chat keeps sending me the Mark and Ethan meme, the ‘this is what you get for having feelings’,” you tell them, voice rough but amused, and that’s enough to get everyone off of Sean’s back, knowing, at least, that you could laugh about the situation, rather than be pained by it. You don’t think you need to mention the sporadic chili emojis that also populated your chat, most of them wouldn’t understand.

After the stream ends, you’re surprised, however, to get a message on Discord from Corpse.

Your fingers fly across the keyboard, writing the words that had formed in your mind before you’d actually had time to think about them, only realising what you’ve said once you’ve sent it , once you’ve seen he’s read it. Panic builds in your chest for all of the two minutes it takes him to respond with several smiling emojis. All you want is to not draw attention to it, for him to think you’re too invested in this friendship, which you think you are, but you don’t want him to know that. So you ask what time works for him.

[you said if i downloaded the farm game you’d help]

[and also judge me but im ignoring that part for now]

[but my farm looks like shit and my tools are garbage. can’t even break a big log]

[how long have you been playing?]

[not long? im in the first week i think?]

[how does yours look so nice?]

[ive been playing for five years, and this farm specifically has over a hundred hours put into it]

[yeah that would be the difference 😂]

[you doing anything tomorrow? care to help me out?]

[if youre not up for it thats totally cool]

[i always love spending time w you so i think i should be up for it 😊]

The following day, you find yourself in front of your computer, setting up your impromptu stream, tweeting out about it, mentioning Corpse would be attending as a special guest, as the two of you had discussed. In comfortable pajamas, blanket wrapped around your shoulders like a cape, and no makeup, it’s far from your usual efforts for stream, but you were going through some stuff right now, so you didn’t care about being dressed down. Greeting early birds, you’re doing a little routine maintenance on your own farm before Corpse joins.

The two of you sit in the game’s menu to discuss how to go about it, before Corpse announces that he holds no love for his shitty, little seven day farm, and is more than happy to just start a completely new co-op world. He hosts, and you’re quick to join, excited at the prospect; it’s been a while since you’d started a new farm. 

It’s nice, to have his voice in your ear as you work through the familiar routine of cleaning up the farm, so comforting and relaxing to be able to just talk with him that you almost forget that you’re live while you’re chattering away, talking through the tasks, accidentally going on tangents, before remembering to tell him about what the game has to offer. He seems more than happy to just listen to you ramble, and tells you there’s no need to apologise, that if he had something to say, he’d say it, when you mutter about how you think you’ve been talking for too long. There’s a smile in his voice as he reassures you, and you spit out a few petals, hoping that you look like you’re focusing on the game, and not that you’re thinking about how kind he is to you.

“We don’t have that whole sprinkler situation you had set up in your other game, what do we -” he asks at one point, presumably looking through all his different menus for something that may resemble the high-level iridium sprinklers you had everywhere on your main farm.

“We have to level up in farming to build sprinklers, for now we just water the crops ourselves every morning -”

“Every morning? Weren’t you talking about three hundred things of wheat? You don’t water three hundred things of wheat yourself, do you?” He seems baffled at the prospect, which has you lightly coughing where you had meant to laugh, and you inform him that yes in fact you had watered three hundred things of wheat each morning in several of your playthroughs.

“Do you think that’s maybe too many things of wheat?” He asked, tone trying to be skeptical but just sounding more amusement, and you snort a laugh, petal going up your nose in the process.

“I think it’s the perfect amount of wheat,” you countered, “excuse me a minute,” and you mute your microphone, ducking out of frame to grossly blow the petal into the bin.

“You okay, Sweets?” 

“Petal up my nose,” you responded flatly when you’re back, “I’d rather have a bad cold for three months.” And he goes strangely quiet in response, before softly, albeit a little awkwardly, apologising for your discomfort, despite him not needing to at all. Of course your instinctual response is to brush it off with a ‘it’s not your fault’ except that kind of feels like lying, so instead, you go with, “it is what it is,” and quickly move on to telling him that you’re more than happy to water the wheat if he doesn’t want to.

“This farm isn’t a dictatorship, I’ll help water the wheat,” he offers, keeping up as the mood shifts back to something light, a smile in his words.

About a week later, you post about how you’d like help finally identifying your flowers, but that you’d rather do it in DMs. Most people were more than understanding; identifying Hanahaki flowers can be very personal, and you found yourself with an influx of messages, overwhelmed, until you spotted one from an actual florist offering to help. You send a photo, and it takes less than five minutes to get a response.

[listen, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure you’re coughing up Sweet Peas. colouring that dark isn’t super common, but yeah.]

Immediately, you’re googling, hoping that that isn’t true, that it’s been mis-identified, but no, the abundance of images on Google of Sweet Peas all seem to look like the petals in your waste paper basket. 

You feel like you’re going to lose your mind. Also you officially realise that the rest of the world is never allowed to know; you’re coughing up a dead giveaway. For the moment, you’re allowing yourself to be petty, wishing the universe could have given you a more subtle flower this time around.

Right after that, however, you post on Twitter that you’re taking a few days off from streaming for personal reasons, and immediately follow it up by texting Ethan.

Though you and Ethan don’t hang out in person as much as you once did, that’s more due to how busy his schedule had gotten, rather than the two of you growing apart, for in reality, you still considered him one of your best friends. You’d always be grateful to him for letting you crash on his sofa for a those few months, and despite how your content has branched out from one another’s in parts, there was no-one who understood what you were going through quite as well. 

[eef im having feelings and im sad abt them]

[having an active season in quarantine fuckin sucks]

[wanna come over and hang out?]

[ur too good to me]

So you drive to his apartment, still in your pajamas with a blanket wrapped around you. When he greets you at the door, he he wraps you up in a hug without question. He’s assuring you that you’re going to be okay, and asks you if you want any food or drink; you decline, just glad to be here, glad to flop on the sofa, glad for his company.

“Did anything happen between you and that cute barista?” You asked, face half-mashed into a cushion where you’d curled up on the sofa, mentioning the woman who had been the reason for Ethan’s own active Hanahaki Season earlier in the year. In response, he heaved a sigh, moving your legs so he could sit by you on the sofa, but moving them back across his lap once he’d settled in his seat, brow furrowed.

“I haven’t been to that Starbucks since lockdown, it’s like an hour away and I don’t wanna risk anything just to get a glimpse of a girl I barely know, you know?” He pointed out, picking up the TV remote from where it had been wedged between you and the sofa, “but what about you; you wanna tell me what this is all about?” He asked. As you start coughing, he reaching down beside the sofa with his free hand to pick up and offer you a little bin. He puts on The Good Place while you’re still coughing, curled on your side, head hanging over the edge of the sofa; he’s not rushing you for an answer. 

“It’s stupid,” you mutter finally, face still in the bin, though he can hear your pout without needing to see it.

“Stupider than a cute barista I only saw once a week for three months whose name is escaping me right now?”

“Much,” you told him, dejected, though it seemed to intrigue him, “at least you know what she looks like, at least you knew her actual name at one point.” At this, he shifts how he’s sitting, turning to face you fully with one foot tucked beneath his thigh. Finally you look to him, twisting awkwardly so he could see your full, dejected expression, legs still in his lap. Judging by his expression, he seems to have already figured most of it out, but you can’t help putting the final nail in the coffin; “I’m coughing up fucking Sweet Peas, Eef.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs, wiggling so he can wrap you in the least awkward hug possible, without you needing to sit up that is. If he finds your dramatics a touch amusing, you don’t mind, he’s put up with you long enough that he’s earned that right. 

“I don’t blame you, dude,” he mutters from where his face is pressed against your shoulder, “Corpse’s voice is out of this world; if he was as nice to me as he is to you, I would be in love with him too,” he assures, and you groan in frustration, but appreciate the comfort nonetheless. The two of you binge through half a season of The Good Place before switching to Disney+ to watch Ant-Man with the pizza you get delivered for dinner. 

You take a photo of Ethan with a mouthful of pizza, smiling so wide it’s unflattering but full of joy, and you show it to him, asking if you can post it on your Instagram story, to which he agrees. It’s captioned ‘get u a bes fren whose house doubles as a hanahaki recovery center’. It’s followed by a video you take immediately after, of Ethan looking directly into the camera that is slowly zooming in on him as he whispers ‘this is what you get for having feelings’.

Then, an unflattering selfie of yourself, captioned ‘the flowers are a pain but its the yearning that’s messing me up tbh’. 

Then, an even closer selfie, ‘am i allowed to talk abt this??’, immediately followed by a blurry selfie of you pulling a face like you’re shouting; ‘its not eef!! thas my bes fren boi!! no romo!! stop askin me!!’. 

Then, a black screen; ‘im in my feelings tonight sorry lmfao. coughing up flowers as a constant reminder will do that to you. feelings are gross. like i don’t regret them, but i just dont want to be a pain to the person who they’re directed at, you know? im in my feelings :/ ‘.

The final video is taken by Ethan, and is of you holding his phone and facetiming Mark, who hollers ‘this is what you get for having feelings’ across the line, as both you and Ethan cackle with laughter. 

At his insistence, you spend the night on Ethan’s sofa, which you’re quietly glad about; you hadn’t realised how much you’d needed this familiar comfort until you’re lying in the dark living room and it feels like your second home. The following morning, the two of you swing past your apartment to pick up a change of clothes after you’re invited you to hang out at Mark and Amy’s while they’re filming a few Unus Annus videos for the next few days. 

Last night, you had put your phone on airplane mode after posting to your Instagram story, and the moment you take it off, sitting at Mark and Amy’s kitchen island, your phone starts buzzing for what feels like a full minute, going off with responses and messages on every and any social media platform you were a part of.

But there only one you really cared about. He’d liked your Tweet. He’d seen your full Instagram story. He’d messaged you on Discord.

You message Corpse back, telling him that you’re fine, and it only takes him a few moments to message back a thumbs up. 

[you okay?]

[sweets]

[seriously]

[you alright?]

It says that he’s typing for a very long time before he responds with a very short sentence.

[sorry to worry you]

[thought for a moment that you’d fucked off to live as a hermit in some european mountains]

[then i remembered they wouldn’t let you in over there]

[once again my plans are foiled by covid]

[you okay otherwise?]

“Are you messaging him?” Ethan calls out from the backyard, startling you out of your texts, your thoughts. Looking up, through the open kitchen windows, only to see Ethan squinting rather dramatically at you, and Mark standing a few feet behind him, head cocked to the side in confusion. Honestly, you’re a little confused too, but to how he knew, “we can see you spitting up petals and grinning,” Ethan, however, seemed to anticipate what you’d been wondering, and Mark makes a sudden noise of understanding, going back to whatever they’d been fucking with before Ethan had decided to call you out. When you look down at the counter you see a small pile of delicate, purple petals that you hadn’t even realised had been fluttering from your lips out with each breath. Damn. 

[woke up with a cold]

[if there’s a low register that human ears can’t hear, i think my voice is gonna get there]

“Go back to carpe-ing the diem!” You call back, to which Mark beams, giving an enthusiastic thumbs up, and Ethan shakes his head with fond exasperation. 

When filming is done for the day, you help out with cooking dinner for the four of you, and Ethan drives you both back to his place.

“Listen, you’re more than welcome to go home if you like, and you know we’ve loved having you at the Ethan Hanahaki Recovery Facility, but,” he paused, “if you wanna stay, you’re also more than welcome to do that too. I’ve missed the hell out of you, and you know my sofa is always open.” He paused for a moment, giving you a slight frown, which you mirror, confused at his sudden concern, “and dude, you know I love you and your dedication to your work, but I also think you’ve been in self-imposed isolation for possibly too long.” 

He wasn’t wrong; thinking back, you realise that this might be the first time you’d left your house in the past month. At this point you were getting all your groceries delivered and focusing on your stream and upload routine, mainly getting your steps up around your apartment while you waited for videos to render.

“One more night,” you agreed softly, taking his words to heart, thankful for his company. Once back inside, he does mention that he had been planning to stream for a few hours, but is quick to assure that you’re more than welcome to join, or just hang out on the sofa and watch TV if you’d rather just relax. Instead, you ask if, you could not play, but still provide commentary from beside him. It’s doable, it means you don’t have to focus on actually playing while trying to hold in your coughs, and it means you’ll get to spend time together, which is always a bonus. 

You’re half-draped on Ethan to fit into the face cam box, even though he widened it as much as possible. With your chin on on his shoulder, you find yourself leaning heavily against the left arm of his chair, eyes trained on the screen, watching intently. Since you’re not playing, you’re able to keep track of everyone’s movements as they pass, feeling as though you’ve got several players’ voices in the back of your mind, Charlie and Ze and Chilled, all chiming in with theories to consider as you watch other players dart around while Ethan works on tasks. 

“Ross is sus,” you mutter quietly to Ethan as the game is still going, “he was still doing card swipe when we left from Admin, through to Storage on the way to Lower Engine, but then he comes out of Electrical ahead of us? He had to have vented in there. Check for a body,” you direct, expression uncharacteristically serious and alert, and Ethan, unused to, but respecting your laser-focus, follows your instruction, doubling back to look in Electrical, sure enough, finding a body. 

As soon as Ethan relays everything you’d pointed out to him, Ross huffs a defeated sigh.

“I don’t like that you’ve got a second pair of eyes on your team,” but it’s clear he’s not truly upset, more upset that he was caught out so clearly.

“Not even gonna defend yourself?” Dan snickers.

“He’s got a fuckin’ one-thousand IQ lobby regular actually watching what’s happening for him, and I’m a little pea-brained idiot, used to playing with other pea-brained idiots;” he laughed, and more than a few of the others snorted in self deprecating agreement. Clearly Ross wasn’t actually taking issue with the situation, “I did it, okay? And she definitely caught me, without even seeing me slit Arin’s throat.” And he proceeded to vote for himself.

“That’s my girl,” Sean sounded like he was beaming with pride, “Charlie would be so proud.”

“Just watch; next time we play I’ll be in Security reading the logs better than Charlie, and he’ll either try and fight me for superiority, or bust a nut right there on stream,” you snorted, to which Ethan’s eyes widened, unused to such directly vulgar implications coming from you, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“Can I ban you from ever playing with them again?” Ethan’s tone is scandalised, much to Sean’s amusement.

“Not a fan of hearing about Greaseball nuts?” You smirked in response, and Ethan choked out a laugh, asking Sean who was responsible.

“Blame Charlie,” Sean offered without missing a beat, before conceding, backpedaling a little, “and probably me and Corpse,” he says with a self-deprecating laugh, and Ethan’s eyebrows raise somehow even higher at that, right as you move away to cough up a few petals.

“I fully intend to! Y/N in my ear talking about Greaseball nuts, never thought I’d see the day -” he’s muttering over Sean’s pleased cackling, even as Ross is ejected into space. You sit back, half out of shot and catching your breath, holding the little bin in your lap, frowning at Ethan.

“You waxed Marks pubes and have drunk your own piss, what is so bad about-?”

“I know, I know, it’s just... it’s you, Y/N,” is Ethan’s only defense, focusing back on the game as he heads to Lower Engine to refuel the ship, “you’re like a soft bunny rabbit -”

“I crashed on your sofa for too long last year for you to say that like you genuinely believe that,” that gets him to shut up, turning pink around the ears. Nothing scandalous had happened between you in the time you’d lived together, but living with someone did tend to expose their less personable traits. In the silence that followed, you relax back against him after making sure he was okay with it, that he wasn’t weirded out, and he gives you a fond glance, assure you that it was fine.

“All I’m saying is that I’m not used to you, like, publicly saying risky stuff. Like I know you, but hearing you talk all banter-y about- about Charlie’s nuts,” he stumbles over his words, like he was surprised he was even saying them, “was like seeing a woman’s ankle back in, like, Victorian times; felt like I should be clutching pearls or something,” he laughs, and you hum in understanding, resting your head against his as best you could while you were both wearing bulky headphones. 

An hour into the stream, you take off your headphones, simply resting your head against his shoulder, writing down your thoughts on the game instead of saying them out loud, since you couldn’t hear anyone’s response, but your eyes are growing heavier as the each moment passes. You’re not sure when you fall asleep against him, but when he gently jostles you awake and tells you it’s time for you to go to bed, the team in-game is waiting patiently, running around the lobby. He helps you up, walks you out to the sofa, and petting your head gently as you curled up with the blanket you’d brought from home before he goes back to the remainder of the stream. 

By the following afternoon, you’re home. The morning had consisted of making a pretty solid breakfast for Ethan as a thank you before the two of you parted ways, Ethan heading off to Mark’s to keep filming, and you heading back to your apartment. The drive home is short, you do a face mask and have a shower, and graze on some snacks in favour of an actual lunch before you decide to message Corpse. No matter how much time you spend questioning what in the world had possessed you to reach out, you can never quite figure out the answer beyond some indescribable, masochistic yearning.

It comes of far sketchier than you’d intended, but unfortunately the message is sent by the time you realise this. At least he’s quick to answer, to agree, with no comments about your final message, thank God.

[how’s your cold]

[persistent and irritating]

[you up for playing something?]

[im not up for streaming anything, kinda just wanna lay low for a few more days]

[yeah understandable]

[still, you wanna hang out and play something?]

[noone else has to know]

When the call connects, he’s yawning down the line, giving a quick apology after he clears his throat, voice lower and rougher and sleepier than you think you’ve ever heard it. 

“Farm work?” He sounds tired, and you shrug before realising he can’t see it, quickly filling in that you don’t mind, happy to play whatever. Honestly if he’d just rather watch something and have company you’d be cool with that too. You hadn’t considered how much you’d missed hearing his voice until he’s humming with consideration, though even the thought is enough to trigger a coughing fit in you, muting your mic so he doesn’t hear most of it. 

“Sweets, you okay?” He asks, all kinds of concern in his voice, and you mutter to yourself about how he’s probably going to be the death of you before unmuting. 

“I’m about as okay as can be expected,” you say, far more candid than he’s probably used to you being, but he takes it in stride.

“Yeah, I feel that,” and it’s his turn to mute himself and cough for a few minutes. In the meantime, you open up a new browser tab to look through what shows and movies seem interesting on Netflix.

“Hey, actually, I’m kinda working on this song and I’m just in the middle of editing it -” he comes back, sounding actually a little sheepish.

“Oh,” your stomach sinks but you hope he can’t hear it in your voice, “if you wanna go and do that instead -”

“No, I mean, it’s just the minutiae at this stage, little edits, I can do them while you’re on the line that’s not an issue, just if you wanted to do something else, but keep hanging out, honestly I could use the company,” he admits, and you can feel your heart swell in your chest as you agree, asking if he’d be okay with you cleaning up the farm and starting to set things up without him, “you’re the expert,” you can hear his smile - and you’re coughing up petals again. It’s relentless. If he could stop making your heart race from the simplest kind words, that would be great. 

He’s humming as he works, the same few seconds over and over again you’re pretty sure, concentrating, and it’s nice background noise for you to be planting crops too. You’re not quite sure how long the call’s been going on for, but it’s not a short amount of time, when you finally work up the courage to ask what it’s about. He is very hesitant to answer. 

“I’ve been working on it for a while now with a friend of mine, Savage Gasp, but like, the s in Gasp is like a dollar sign,” he’s explaining as a way to put off actually telling you about the song. You keep quiet, giving him time to work up to telling you about the song itself, “I can send some through to you to listen to if you want, just a bit, it’s not done yet.”

“I’d love to hear it!” You’re quick to answer, and he goes quiet again, though you can hear him frantically typing. 

“I feel like I’m about to show, like a nun or something,” he mutters with a surprising touch of self consciousness, followed by a small cough. Unfortunately, however, you’re more than a little tired of everyone thinking you’re a prude, or a nun. 

“I’m not going to be offended,” you tell him, trying to keep the sudden irritation out of your voice, “I’m not some pearl-clutching Victorian woman,” you mutter, Ethan’s words fresh in your mind too. Corpse does try to backtrack, tries to say that’s not what he meant, that he’s just got this idea of you stuck in his head from when he first met you and that it’s hard to shake that -

“I went to college,” you tell him flatly, “had the full college experience too, and all the less than sweet things that implies,” He’s very quiet at that, “is it because you’ve never heard me swear? That’s a choice, I can swear, I used to swear a lot; fuck, Corpse;” you give a breathless laugh, not quite believing the words tumbling from your mouth, “fuck; is that better?” You tone is final, but for the barest moment you’re terrified that you’ve scared him off, which is baffling considering who he is, but the fear lingers, that he prefers the idea of you that he’d had in his mind, and with each word you’re straying from her. Instead, he mutters something under his breath that sounds amused, but that you don’t catch, right before he mutes himself, you assume to cough.

“I don’t think you’re a prude, Sweets,” despite the roughness of his voice, you can hear the notes of fondness in it. You slowly, quietly, let out a breath that you hadn’t realised you’d been holding, “but I think why I’m, like, hesitant and shit, when you hear it, okay? I don’t know what you’re tastes are like, but just...” He trails off, not quite sure how to finish that sentence, and you the thought hits you, ‘oh, he’s nervous’; it’s more endearing than you had thought it would be. Moments later, you get an audio file sent over Discord.

E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE.mp4

You click play.

Nothing in the world could have prepared your for the visceral, unholy feelings that passed through your body as the song, his voice, those lyrics, filled your ears. You let out an audible gasp, only to smack your hand to your mouth. When the clip he’d sent ends, you press play again immediately, heartbeat embarrassingly erratic in your chest.

“You okay there?” He finally asks, voice almost lost amongst the music. You give a muffled noise of affirmation from behind your hand, nervous as to what noise would come out if you took your hand away. The clip ends, and you resist the urge to play it again.

“Sorry, just had to listen to it twice,” you say with a breathless little laugh, surprised and dazed and how in the fuck were you meant to deal with this. You’re pretty sure you should tell him it’s good and hang up, to save yourself from potential embarrassment, “it’s... fuck dude,” the words fall gracefully from your lips as you rest your chin in in your hand, still trying to process, “that’s cool as hell.” And you’re far too aware that you probably sound all dazed and dreamy, barely registering the faint coughs that had been steadily covering your keyboard with rich, purple flowers. What reaction he could be hoping for with that? From you? You hope the one you’re currently providing will suffice. Pressing play again, you ignore the voice in the back of your mind urging you to end the conversation, instead letting your eyes glaze over.

“Sorry, I’m listening to it again,” you explain your silence midway through listening to the clip, and you hear his faint laugh just beneath the music. When you resurface, the words in your strangely awe-fogged mind tumble from your lips before you can even think about stopping them; “I think I’m jealous of the girls who get to know you IRL - e-girls -” you correct yourself quickly with a snort, “after hearing that.”

“Fucking hell, Sweets,” there’s something in his tone that you can’t quite place, something raw and strangely familiar, amid the amusement and pride, “you can’t just say shit like that!” 

“And you can’t just send me something like that with no warning!” You’ve given up all pretense of hanging up, grinning from ear to ear, “how was I meant to react?”

“I don’t know!” He’s laughing now, surprisingly sounding a little flustered, like he wasn’t the one who had just sent you a song about incredibly rough and kinky sex, “I didn’t- I didn’t expect you to fucking relate,” he splutters, and you rolls your eyes, you can’t help yourself.

“Dude, I wish I related, believe me, no-one in college knows how to choke half as well as that song implies,” you dismissed with a smirk; perhaps part of you was trying to disprove his earlier nun comment, but he didn’t seem to be particularly unhappy about learning these things about you. He does, however, mutter that you’re killing him, while sounding both like he was wearing the biggest grin in the world, and like he’s covering his face with his hands. 

And then he’s muted himself, and you take the moment to do the same, sweeping up the considerable pile of petals that had managed to make it’s way from your mouth without you really realising. Putting the petals in the bin, you take a good few moments to cough, trying to dislodge a few that had been stuck and irritating the back of your throat. 

“Wait, this might- like, this might be a weird question, but I have to ask, you know?” He’s back in your ears, and there’s a sudden nervousness in your stomach, “were you being forreal when you said you were jealous?” He’s laughing a little, like he’s ready to play it off as a joke at any minute; you hesitate.

“Not if it’s weird,” you hear yourself say, and something’s starting to make sense in the back of your mind, but you’re not quite sure what. He does not seem deterred by your answer, which kind of surprised you.

“Okay, another super weird question, but bare with me, your flowers, the little purple ones, could you send me a photo?” 

Before you even pick up your phone to take a photo, you act on instinct, on a hunch that had formed only moments ago, finally starting to make sense of the dots connecting in your mind.

“Counter weird question, and if I’m reading this right, you’ll know what I mean,” you prefaced, stomach twisting into knots are you psyched yourself up, “did you call me Sweet Pea on a stream a while ago?” And when you ask, he’s dead silent. You swallow your pride, fully ready to be told you’re reading this wrong, to be let down, but still choosing to go all in on this hunch, letting the words spill from you unrehearsed; “because those little purple flowers I’ve been coughing up for the past month are Sweet Peas, if you get what I’m trying to say here.” 

The moments that follow feel like the longest of your life, convinced that you’ve completely misread the situation -

“Sweets, I’ve been into you for months,” he confirms frankly, though you’re pretty sure you can hear him smirking. Internally, you are screaming. 

“Oh fuck,” the words come out breathless and hopeful and disbelieving, “for real?” Voice soft, you can’t quite believe this is happening, that this is real; he confirms with one word, laughing faintly, “this is not how I thought this conversation would be going,” you admit, dazed and pleased and elated all at once, “where do we go from here?”

The high that that conversation, that confirmation, gave you is something you’ll be riding for at least a full week, you think, waking up the next morning with a grin as you recall the previous day’s events, not a hint of a petal in sight. The smile doesn’t leave your face while you’re editing through the morning, or when you start streaming Borderlands 3, fully intending on trying to get through the Shatterdome on Mayhem Difficulty 2 in one sitting. 

Someone asks how you’re feeling, noting how happy you seem, and you can’t quite answer, all that leaves you is a little giggle, an actual giggle, and you tell them you’ve never been better.

[SHE FOUND SOMEONE TO GIVE 400 CHILIS TO]

Someone else posted that in the chat. You ducked your head, if only to hide your embarrassed, elated smile, which served as confirmation enough in your current state. In the next moment, a Discord notification to pop up;

They’re calling your mystery person ‘chili boy’, and there’s a strange sense of contentment that settles in your chest as you read through the supportive comments, holding your phone to your chest.

[youre gonna melt my fuckin heart you know that]

[you can’t send me things like that mid stream]

[not my fault youre being cute as shit]

[it LITERALLY is]

“Yes, I spoke to...” you hesitate for a moment, “chili boy,” you chose to go with, before opening your mouth wide and sticking out your tongue, “and see, no more petals!” And the chat is flooded with congratulations, and people demanding to know who it is, to which you respond coyly, “who it is is my business; could be a foxy mailman for all you guys know.”

The chat is a wellspring of kindness and positivity, and you’re pretty sure it’s personally one of your favourite streams of all time, despite the few people still demanding to know who it is; you didn’t owe them shit. 

And the next day, you message the Among Us Discord in the morning and tell them you’re back and ready to jump into a game whenever they’re up for it. More than a few suggest an impromptu gave, feeding off of your enthusiasm and with nothing better to do. 

“Hey Sweets, hey Sweets’ chat,” you can hear Corpse’s damn smile the minute he joins the voice chat.

“Hi Corpse, hi Corpse’s chat that didn’t ask about me,” you manage your usual response through a grin of your own.

“They ask about you,” Corpse says, playing at being a little defensive. If you smile any brighter you’re gonna give yourself away to your audience.

“About time,” you responded loftily, nose in the air, and then muted yourself to say hi to a few folks in your chat, people who were donating or subscribing. 

Just to be able to hear his voice, knowing that all the kindness he’s shown you, all the offhanded flirty remarks and messages, they were all leading here. On purpose. All the flowers you coughed up had not gone to waste, the feelings you’d been embarrassed to harbor had not been in vain. There’s something different now about how he calls you Sweets, something knowing, something... more. Your heart sings to be able to call him yours, even in some small way, even if it can’t be loud. 

Thankfully, no-one else in the stream catches on.

But after the stream ends, he messages you privately, asking if you want to come over, and suddenly it’s like your nerves are alight with nervous anticipation. Of course he prefaces it by saying he would have preferred to take you on a real date first, but the world’s kind of shut down, so he’s working with what he has.

As soon as you send him your number, your phone buzzes with a text. It’s a photo. An actual photo. Of Corpse. Followed by his actual name.

[you’re not gonna murder me are you?]

[what??]

[i still dont know you from a bar of soap; if u murder me, noone will ever find me, noone knows what you look like]

[ah]

[yeah i see what youre saying]

[no im not going to murder you]

[whats you’re number]

Ethan swears solemnly that he will guard this secret with his life, and that he’ll message you every so often to make sure you’re okay. But then he also gets all fond and sappy when he tells you he’s glad everything worked out. 

[send those to someone you really trust]

[if they dont hear from you in a few days they can call the cops]

[legit tho im serious abt the trust thing]

[like 3 people in the world know who i am so im putting a lot of trust in u and whoever you pick]

[you invited me to your house dude. i have your address.]

[......]

[my statement still stands]

[i appreciate that]

[im sending it to eef, is that okay?]

[you trust him to keep it to himself unless i murder you?]

[i trust him with my life]

It’s early evening when you leave your apartment, sky turning from gold to lilac, to something as dark as the petals that had filled your throat, the last rays of sunshine like fingers of light reaching out to turn the clouds a glowing pink as you get into your car. 

You’ve showered, dressed nicely, your heart’s in your throat. You’re doing this. You’re really, truly doing this.

His place is about half an hour away, closer than you’d been expecting, even though you were vaguely aware that he was in Southern California too. You’re fidgeting with your fingers once you ring the buzzer on his building, nerves building in the elevator ride to his floor, hesitating before you knock on his door. A few moments pass, and the door opens, and - you smile as relief floods through you. Corpse, bright eyed and seemingly effortlessly handsome, is standing before you.

“Hi,” you breathe, and his whole expression brightens at your voice.

“Hi,” he grins, and steps aside, welcoming you in. The butterflies in your chest seem to calm at the sound of his familiar voice, and you step through. You don’t want to move to fast, or touch anything, for fear that this is all an illusion, that one wrong move could shatter at any moment.

It’s awkward at first, of course, finally seeing each other in person after knowing each other online for months, developing far more serious feelings than either of you had anticipated, and then actually admitting to those feelings. It’s awkward as hell, but there’s no pretense set for tonight, no expectations, and the awkwardness fades thankfully fast. 

It’s lowkey, watching movies and eating take out; he’s so warm, so nice to be close to, his arm around you, curled up against him on the plush sofa. You’re trying to pay attention to the show, but there’s a thought in the back of your mind that just won’t leave you alone. To be in such close proximity, but not - Wanting so desperately to -

You act on impulse, pressing a kiss to his jaw. His lips twitch, as if he’s suppressing a smile, but he doesn’t look away from the TV. The hand that had been resting on your shoulder begins tracing patterns on your upper arm, but that’s the most of a reaction that he gives. Undeterred, you trail kisses down his throat before pressing your nose to his shoulder, before the reality of it all overwhelms you and it’s all you can do to grin against the fabric of his shirt, simply basking in the moment, in the fact that you’re actually, really here with him. 

When you look up, he’s looking back at you, faintly amused, but with something gentle and affectionate in his eyes as he studies your face. He takes careful hold of your jaw, leaning in slowly to kiss you, giving you time enough to push him away if it’s not what you want, but you meet him halfway instead, kissing him. You wonder if he can taste how much you’ve wanted this, wanted to just be close to him, how even now it doesn’t feel close enough, though you’re terrified to push too hard, too fast, terrified of wanting too much - But he seems to know, seems to understand, because he’s nudging you, gentle but insistent, and you follow his guiding, suddenly in his lap, sitting back for a moment to check in, to make sure this is okay. His hands are on your thighs and he’s smiling so fucking wide at you, before, without even saying a word, he beckons you back to him, and you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him hard.

Something had been unlocked in your chest, want and need so insistent you think you can feel it in your blood. You’re far too aware of the fact that you’ve known him in person for all of a few hours, but it’s hard to tone down your feelings, to pull them back, when you’ve got his voice in your head ‘I’ve been into you for months’. You don’t want him to think you’re just using him for his body, but these feelings have been with you for months too, and knowing now that you’ve both been wasting time, too scared to be rejected, you can feel those months like an ache. But his hands are on your hips, fingertips just beneath the hem of your shirt, barely scandalous until he’s digging his nails into your waist and you gasp against him.

“Too much?” He asks carefully, so close, so intimate, your forehead pressed together, your nose nudging his - all you can do to answer is to kiss him again, to tangle your fingers in his hair and give and experimental tug as a noise of appreciation escapes him. 

You both decide that it’s probably for the best if it doesn’t go too much further, seeing as how it’s technically only the first date. When you sit back, heart fluttering and lips tingling, you curl up beside him like you had been before, but a little closer, his arm around you a little tighter; you bring your hand up to rest against his chest, and you can feel his pulse racing too. 

He sounds pleased when he admits that he’d underestimated you. 

How are you already so gone for him? 

It’s about one in the morning when you decide to head home, quietly disappointed to leave. He reminds you that you’re always welcome over, and you extend the same invitation to him, writing out your address. 

“This was fun,” you grin, far more comfortable now that when you’d arrived, and he agrees easily, wrapping his arms around you as you step into his space to kiss him goodbye. 

You feel lighter than air on the entire drive home, and when you flop into bed, you’re so giddy you can barely get to sleep, before texting Ethan to reassure him you were fine.

[definitely not murdered]

Things fall back into a routine after that, albeit with a few new elements. You’re still streaming almost every day, editing and uploading as much as you can, but sometimes you take a night off to hang with Corpse, either at his place, or at yours, depending on the night. You try not to hint at anything when you stream together, but sometimes you can’t quite help yourself, though thankfully any playful banter between the two of you can be played off with an eyeroll and a mention of ‘this is how we’ve always talked to each other’. The rest of the world has thankfully taken that at face value, and so they still have no idea that now you get to wake up some mornings to the sight of him, sleepy and gorgeous, next to you. They don’t hear the love in his voice, or see the warmth in his eyes, none of them know how content you feel in his arms. It’s ridiculously sappy, but you’ve never been happier. 

One night, a month in, he’s playing a game with Sykkuno and a few others while you’re editing some footage on your laptop next to him, when you stand and whisper so his mic won’t pick it up, that you’re getting yourself a tea, asking if he’d like one.

“Thanks babe, would love one,” he says, apparently forgetting he was still live. Whatever was being said in his headphones, however, must have reminded him, because he swears quietly. You gesture awkwardly, as if asking if there was anything you could do to help, but he looks to you with an expression that was equal parts amused and hopeless, shrugging; there was nothing that could be done now.

“My girlfriend offered to get me tea,” he says by way of explanation, refusing to elaborate further. It’s still early days, neither of you want to confirm anything to the public just yet. If something goes wrong, not that you hope it will, there’s so much more at stake. The weight of the world’s expectations and assumptions is a heavy thing to bare; with someone by your side to help bare the load, somehow it becomes both easier and harder simultaneously.

Later that night, curled up in bed, you’re scrolling through your Twitter mentions when you come across ‘is it weird that im kind of disappointed that @Corpse_Husband and @Y/N aren’t together? glad theyre happy but they would have been cute’ and you know you can’t like it because that would absolutely give too much away, but you desperately want to. You’ve got a quiet appreciation for the dramatic irony of the whole situation. 

Some time later, almost three months in, you’re streaming Among Us with Ethan and his friends when there’s a knock at your door. It doesn’t surprise you when you come back from letting him in, to find that you’ve been killed and a meeting had been called, but you jump on to say you had been AFK before you mute yourself, and move out of the frame to properly greet your boyfriend. 

“Sorry guys, Chili Boy arrived,” you said, the settling back into your chair as you were all in the lobby waiting for the next round. The nickname had initially been used by fans to refer to you ‘mystery partner’ but soon it became the widely used nickname among your friends.

“Keep your disgusting feelings away from me!” Ethan responded dramatically, to which you stuck your nose in the air, matching his energy.

“Absolutely not; I’m in love and I’m making it everyone else’s problem,” as your words settle in, as Ethan’s retching into his microphone, you hear Corpse’s laughter, followed by him telling you that you’re cute as shit. 

He doesn’t whisper it.

“I know that voice, who was that?” Sean’s voice is the first to break the silence. Meanwhile, you’re chewing your lip, suddenly nervous, before you turn your gaze on your boyfriend. He’s sitting a few feet away, carefully casual in your spare gaming chair, looking right back at you, seemingly nonplussed about the whole situation. You mute yourself, both on Discord, and on the stream itself, much to your audience’s surprise as you’re addressing someone off-camera.

“They heard you,” your words don’t seem to phase him, “Sean wants to know who that was.”

“Do you wanna tell them?” He asks, voice heavy with the implication of what that would mean for you both. You blink quickly, processing what he’s asking. 

“Are you sure?” 

In your ear, the others are asking questions, though Ethan is thankfully being very quiet. Finally, you beckon him over. Now or never.

Corpse joins you, taking his place right by your chair, tall enough while standing that his face is out of frame for your stream, but he’s resting a hand on your shoulder, half his torso visible before he’s out of frame. He gestures for you to unmute your mic with the hand the audience can’t see. You plug in a second pair of headphones so he can hear what’s happening before you unmute youself on both the stream, and on Discord, and lean your head against him for some sort of support, nerves suddenly spiking.

“Hi Sweet, hi Sweet’s chat,” at the sound of Corpse’s well known greeting to you, everyone on the voice chat was dead silent, “hi Sean,” he added pointedly, smirking, “I’m Chili Boy, if you couldn’t guess.”

In the silence that follows, you’re holding your breath. His hand move to the back of your neck, thumb rubbing a gentle, comforting rhythm there that goes a ways to calming your nervous heartbeat. Then;

“Oh shit!” Sean announces at the top of his lungs, and you hear a crash, and then Sean yells again, “Corpse, my boy!” Though that sounds much fainter, like he’d stood up fast enough to send his chair cascading back and onto the floor, now pacing around like he couldn’t quite process this sitting down, “good for you guys but I was not expecting that,” he laughed, loud and bright and fond. You turned to press your forehead to Corpse’s hip in an attempt to hide your smile, and to finally breathe again after the anticipation has passed.

“This was the biggest secret I’ve ever kept in my life!” Ethan yells, somewhere between proud and exasperated.

“You knew?!” Sean’s gasp of betrayal is loud enough for the whole voice chat to hear, right as Corpse himself offers Ethan a sincere thanks for his discretion.

“She’s my best friend! What was I meant to do?” Ethan cries, and Sean concedes on that, before he huffed a disbelieving laugh.

“Sweet, eight-bit-farm-simulator fuckin’ wunderkind Y/N, and ‘E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE’ Corpse,” Sean mused, still turning over the information in his mind, “just unexpected, is all.”

“It’s cute that you still think she’s sweet -” Corpse was grinning mischievously, not that anyone else could see, to which you leaned back, leveling a warning look at him.

“You keep your dirty little mouth shut,” you ordered. He just laughed, while both Ethan and Sean made loud, horrified noises at the implications. The others in the stream were voicing their own disbelieving reactions amid the other two, but you mute yourself for the moment, expression softening as you looked up to him, to see his faint, contemplative smile.

“I guess it’s out there now,” he mused as he considered what this will mean for you both. The future is terrifying, but something about letting the world finally know who had been making you happy, it feels right. You hum, pleased, nerves melting away to contentment, to a strange sense of serenity. You don’t have to hide how much you love him anymore. 

Standing, you step into his space, wrapping your arms around him with nothing but pride and adoration in your gaze; he was actually blushing.

“Stop looking at me like that,” but even in saying it, he couldn’t stop smiling, voice going all quiet and uncharacteristically bashful, “you’re such a fuckin’ sap.”

“Yeah, but you love me,” you teased in return. When he looks at you this time, his expression is almost painfully unguarded, searching for any hint of insincerity in your voice, your face, your words. He finds none, you can see it in his eyes, can see the realisation him him in real time, the slight smile -

“God fuckin’ help me, I do,” he leans in to kiss you, even as the next game starts, even as Ethan murders you right by the emergency button; you don’t notice and you don’t care. 

In about an hour, after the stream finally ends, your respective corners of the internet were going to be losing their collective minds as word will be starting to spread. For now, to see his smile, to be the cause of it, to be able to make him laugh, and fall asleep next to him, that’s all that matters in the world.

[hanazou]

So um .. I just recently found your blog and even though you haven't written that much but you really have a unique writing style and I'm in love 🥺💞 .

So may I please request fyodor and/or sigma headcanons or scenario (whatever you're feeling comfortable with ) being on a date with their s/o and getting lost somewhere trying to find their way back home ? I mean it's just so adorable and been on my mind for a while.

And thank you 💚

𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭.

— how did you end up here? getting lost wasn't on the agenda.

Book : Fyodor | Sigma

Genre : Fluff with romance or implied romance

Category: Scenario

Word count : 0.8K | 1K

Bookshelves : Leatherbound

Note : I love this request! Thank you so, SO much for requesting Fyodor and Sigma! Truthfully these are far from being my best works, but I hope you enjoy this, love! It took me a while since I had to make sure these are in-character :") Thank you for the patience!

I hope you enjoy these! 💛

“This is quite the view,” Fyodor smiles to himself, fingers treading around his chin like creeping vines. “Yokohama has a sophistication to it after all.”

“Fyodor,” His name from your mouth rolls out slower compared to the cars on the road near you both to give the impression that your patience is unscathed. “We’re lost.”

Yokohama isn’t too huge of a prefecture for you and Fyodor to get lost in while exploring for the sake of the upcoming Cannibalism scheme, but since you both insist to check out even the smallest of details because one can never be too perfect, exploring took the whole day. Outlining the landmarks on a map would have sufficed, but you and Fyodor agreed that travelling in first-person is more helpful in discovering things that can trick the enemies, and that agreement led you travelling together.

It wasn’t hard for someone to get drunk in this cozy atmosphere and forget why they were here, especially if they’re with someone they trust and are fond of. For you, that person happens to be this pale and sickly genius.

The foreign building structures, the bustling unfamiliar crowd, the compact scent from street food vendors you've never tasted, and the crunch of dry leaves under your feet, they are all different from home, but the striking allure and exoticness are undeniable. Hence, you and Fyodor lost track of time and direction. Not to mention his needy eye for aesthetic slows down the pace.

You don’t want to say this aloud, but this atmosphere and mood, doesn’t it feel like going on a date?

Never mind that—you both were having too much fun brainstorming for ideas, too many alleys to check out, too many manholes to note, too many dead ends to utilize for you to recognize both of you have strayed off the planned route. On the bright side is, Fyodor found the ideal, secluded, dead-end alley for him to station his sniper to attack a certain detective, but the bad side is, while chatting with him about how and where to allocate your pawns, you and Fyodor didn’t pay attention to where you’re going.

Where in Yokohama are you now?

Neither of you planned to walk this far around the prefecture, so you can’t pinpoint your position on the map inside your pocket.

“I have great confidence in my memory,” Fyodor gazes around. “I can find our way back.”

“Then why are we still here after—” you look at your watch. “—half an hour?”

“I thought that while having the opportunity, we should take our time to know this area better. There’s artistry in any form of structure even in those we will decimate soon.” He pivots his head to you. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

He sounds like he’s beating around the bush. He won’t admit he got both of you lost.

You hum. “You still don’t know where we are,” You bring the focus back to your point. “Let me take my turn navigating our way back home,” You reach for the minimap in your pocket. “You’ve had your share of getting us lost.”

You wonder how in the world a prodigy like Fyodor affords to get lost. You consider the possibility of him being distracted by this little trip (that feels like a date) itself since you caught yourself doing that, but you shake off that thought. You ought to stop being delusional.

“As you wish,” He smiles at your proposal. “But only because you insist.”

You make wild guesses of your current position by observing the buildings and shops, try to figure out where you are on the map, and take the lead in guiding yourself and Fyodor back. He follows your headship without any protests, taking the same turn as you elegantly. 

You catch Fyodor also observing the map with you while he matches his legs in coordination with yours. His eyes turn to you and his raised dark brows ask you why you’re staring at him.

“Is it because you’re not confident I can take us back that you’re watching the map with such focus?” You bait, half smiling.

You want him to admit that he trusts you. It’s a pleasant feeling, hearing someone like him value your judgement.

He made a soft chortle from his chest. “Impossible, my dear,”  Fyodor says.

He stops in his tracks.

The sudden halt makes you pause too, and you lower the map to look at his whole face.

You jolt when he takes your hand with his icy pale fingers, guiding your palm to rest on his chest. His coolness mixing with your warmth creates a perfect state of equilibrium that mirrors both your difference yet similarity with him.

“I simply enjoy our mundane little detour.” His voice's vibration from his chest rumbles your hand. His smile is like cotton, but the sharp violet in his eyes holds power over you. “Allow my heartbeat to be the witness of honesty in my words.”

His heartbeat thumps in an orderly calming pattern, his chilly skin still sheathing your hand to press it against his chest.

Ah.

So maybe getting lost isn’t so bad after all.

Your eyebrows quirk when you notice the same scenery outside the car window, forehead matted against the cold glass. “Are you sure this is the right way?”

Sigma’s lips tense down, still staring at the road ahead. “Uhm, yes?” His eyes dart at you for one second.

The two of you, Sigma and yourself, are on your way to visit the last potential location for Sky Casino to expand its branch down below. He demonstrated more than enough faith in your judgement when he invited you to travel to the cities under the sky, offering you a ride in his lavish car. If it were with another person, you wouldn’t see too much into this situation. But with Sigma, it’s a whole different story.

It was the having a luncheon together in a prestigious restaurant of a five star resort with him ordering the best dish for you with a warm smile when he described your order to the waiter. Another being his gentlemanly mannerism, he made a shallow bow when allowing you into his car and opened the door for you, also holding your hand as you got in. The hospitality and elegance from his demeanour excites your heartbeat.

In Sky Casino, he may be your employer and you his employee, but with just the two of you, he makes you feel like the most treasured royalty.

Sigma clears his throat, his fist in front of his mouth while the other around the steering wheel. “I’m certain I’ve memorized every route for the casino’s potential branches.” He glances at the note on the dashboard where the addresses are.

You raise your eyebrows seeing a tower ahead. “And I’m certain we’ve passed that tower in front of us at least twice.”

The expression Sigma makes is made of mild surprise, frustration, and gloom.

"Let's face it," You slouch down your seat. "We're lost."

Sigma repeatedly looks from the scribbled map on the dashboard to the road back and forth, fingers squeezing the wheel in uneasiness. “I could’ve sworn we took the right turn this time…”

Your shoulders deflate at the expression Sigma makes. You feel bad for putting it bluntly. “How about I drive while asking for directions from the locals? You must be tired since we’ve been travelling for hours.”

His head turns swiftly at you, long dual-coloured hair whishing. “You know where we are?” He asks before quickly turning his sight back to the road, stealing glances.

“Not exactly, but I’m familiar with the local dialect and I can ask for directions easily.”

The hesitation and disappointment are still evident on Sigma’s face. You purse your lips, hesitant in how to phrase your next words. “Employers employ people to be assisted with the workload and to have someone to share concerns with. I’m not here just for you to treat me like royalty, I’m also here to assist you.”

Sigma huffs a smile, taking chances to look at your face now and then. “Do you mind the treatment for a royalty?”

“No.” You deny a little too fast. You clear your throat, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. “Absolutely not,” You speak slower. “But even royalties have to give back, right?”

He fails to hide his laughter. He sounds so free, unrestrained, and possibly the most relaxed that day, making your cheeks swell with a prideful smile. As long as he gets to laugh, you don't mind sounding silly. “By asking for directions while talking using a local dialect?” He asks.

Sigma lightly giggles. “Alright, you win.” He slows down the car, eyeing the rear mirror to make a quick stop at the side of the road. “I’m afraid to crash us from feeling exhausted anyways.”

He makes a parallel park and the car comes to a full stop, engine still smoothly running and vibrating the interior.

You ruffle his silky dual-coloured hair as smooth as the leather seat. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” You say, tinting his cheeks pink. “Allow me to treat you like royalty from now on.”

When you retract your hand, Sigma’s head automatically follows with the yearning to get more touch.

Your eyes enlarge and so does his. He whirls away, hands hiding his face. Loud and uncontrolled laughter erupts from your belly despite you covering your mouth to tone it down. You want to stop—but your chest keeps heaving out the joy, raising your shoulders to your ears.

Sigma shrinks in embarrassment, his long hair curtaining his face as he buries his head to his knees. He looks like a tulip in that driver’s seat. With his fair pale skin, even from your distance you can see the red on his face. “Please don’t tell anyone about it…” His voice can be barely distinguished from your untamed laugh.

“The secret’s safe with me.” You wipe a tear as your laughter slows down. You exhale a wide smile, unbuckling your seatbelt. “Alright, let’s switch now before the sun sets.”

“Wait!” Sigma springs out from his position and hurries his hand to land on yours before you open your door. You tilt your head, and he responds with “Don’t open the door yet.”

He dashes out and jogs to get to your side of the car. He opens your door and stands on the side with a shallow bow, his empty hand offered to you. You stifle a giggle when you accept his hand that gently helps you up until you fully stand outside.

You grin for the umpteenth time at Sigma’s chivalry that reminds you of the demonstration of romance during the regency era. It’s simple things like this that boosts your confidence and comfort around him. You can definitely get used to this.

That is until Sigma’s bow deepens so his lips kiss your hand.

You tense. You expected a normal escort when stepping out. The unforeseen princely kiss and his smile send you on haywire—why are you even there? Why did you go all this way into an unfamiliar city? Just to get kissed? To have him act like your Prince? Why is he even kissing you?

“Even without disembarking a journey I still get lost in your touch and laughter.” He straightens his body, elevating your hand to stay on his lips and chin. You feel his breath on your skin. “Thank you for giving me the honour of getting lost with you.”

Then you remember.

You're there to be with him.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[thefallennightmare]

Hard to Love [21/21]

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Words: 1621

Warnings: this story will have mentions of abuse, mental and physical so please read at your own risk. Some swearing, angst, and a good amount of fluff. Maybe some smut if I'm feeling frisky.

Summary: After moving to a new town all on her own, Reader would do anything for a stable job and income. Even if that means housekeeping for one of Boston's eligible bachelors. What she didn't expect was finding herself falling in love with him and finding him out about the past that she was running from.

A/N: I cannot believe the ending is here. I also cannot thank you enough for all the love that you guys have gave this series. I really do appreciate it and love seeing all the comments! Your words of encouragement are what kept me going for this story. I’m so so sad it’s done. 

Lets finish this story with a happy ending! 

Tags: @kelbabyblue @patzammit @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @jennmurawski13 @divadinag @cosmicbreathe @thevelvetseries @capstopavenger @chris-butt @denisemarieangelina @im-a-stranger-thing @jennamarieee623 @introvertedmouse @lharrietg @thejemersoninferno  @breezykpop @instantbasementtimetravel @rodgersteves @michaelscotfield-blog1 @40srogcrs @wonderingshawn @bellaireland1981 @katelyneannxo @lady-x-red @sare-bare93-blog @annmariek8​ @raabrakha​ @stxvercgersslut​

ONE YEAR LATER

“Where’s my cutie pie?!” I shouted, entering the home. 

Four feet trotted down the long hallway from the kitchen to the living room where I stood, hanging up my jacket and bag. Bending at the knees, I allowed all of the kisses and whines of happiness, scratching the furry ears. 

“How’s Dodger doing today?” I cooed. 

He followed me into the kitchen as I searched the fridge for something to ease my stomach. Munching on a piece of cheese, I checked my phone and saw a new message from Chris. 

I’ll be home in a few hours. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t think these interviews would take so long. 

Don’t be sorry! I’ll wait up for you xx. 

The last year, I had grown incredibly; putting everything that happened to me in the past, locking it away. The scars still remained on my body but I never let it affect me. Chris would always make sure he showed extra love to them, telling me that he loved the way I look. 

The first time Chris had to leave for work was a couple of months after everything and it was hard to get adjusted to sleeping in the bed alone but Dodger was the best replacement, keeping me safe every night. Chris tried to turn down movie roles but I quickly shot that down. I wouldn’t let him lose out on a possible great job because I missed him. 

I ended up seeing the live video he posted when I was missing and the amount of outpouring coming from his friends and fans also helped me heal. There were a good amount of people who at first weren’t happy that Chris was in a loving relationship but eventually, when he kept posting pictures of us on Instagram, they got used to it. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I saw a new message appear from Chris. 

Our weekend starts in less that two hours. I can’t wait to be alone with you. 

I smiled fondly at the message. 

The past couple weeks were filled with either him working almost every day or me continuing my schooling. We had his family and friends over a few times last week as well so we were practically begging the Gods above for some alone time. 

Which is why this weekend we had zero plans, just the two of us in our home. 

And Dodger. 

“OH COME ON!” Chris yelled at the T.V. 

A giggle erupted from my throat from my spot on the couch, my feet placed in his lap, as we watched the football game. 

Our weekend together was coming to an end, school for me and another press conference for Chris’ upcoming movie tomorrow, meant that reality was about twelve hours away. We spent the weekend in multiple different rooms of the house, our moans vibrating off the walls. 

I’ve had sex more in this weekend than I had in my entire adult life. 

Now, we were exhausted, so we decided to spend the rest of our Sunday in our lazy clothes on the couch; Chris wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats and I ended up stealing his shirt and a pair of his boxers. 

Even though his eyes were transfixed on the game, he still made an effort to show me attention by rubbing the soles of my feet. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at this man in front of me. He let his beard grow this weekend, too lazy to shave it, which I didn’t complain one bit. The red marks on my thighs from earlier were an indication of that. His hair was short because he decided that he needed to buzz it last night; he was sick of it getting in his face. 

I marveled at the way the muscle in his jaw tightened when I rubbed my feet into his lap, purposely pressing into his soft cock. 

“If you keep that up, I’ll miss the last half of the game,” he threatened in a low voice. 

“But I’m horny!” I whined, lifting my shirt up and over my head. “Please?” 

I pinched my hard nipple between my fingers, hoping that would be enough to get him on top of me. 

It was. 

I yelped when Chris pulled my ankle towards him, his body on top of mine in seconds. His gold chain was dangling in front of my face as I looked up to him, our chest rising with heavy breaths. 

“So naughty,” he muttered against the crook of my neck. 

“Enough small talk and fuck me already, Evans,” I purred into his ear, fingernails digging into his bare back.

I couldn’t help but gnaw nervously on my bottom lip, tasting a bit of blood, while I paced the floor of our bedroom. Chris was out running errands but with the text I sent him, I knew that he would be on his way home asap. 

Can you come home please? I have to talk to you. 

My hands shook with nerves, feeling my cardigan being weighed down with the pressure that was in the pocket. I couldn’t help but worry about what Chris’ reaction would be. We never talked about this and I didn’t know if this would be what broke our relationship. 

“Y/N?” 

Hearing his voice, I made my way down the stairs and into the living room where he sat with Dodger on the couch. 

“Hey, everything alright?” He asked. 

I nodded and sat across from him. “Yeah, I think so.” 

He knew in the way my knee bounced and sucked in my bottom lip that whatever I had to talk to him about made me nervous as hell. Placing a hand on my knee, he gave me a warm smile. 

“Tell me,” he begged gently. 

Words were so foreign to me, not knowing exactly how to say it, so instead I handed him what was in my pocket. 

“I know we haven’t talked about it much but I couldn't not tell you. I mean you deserve to know. If you’re angry I understand. I’m confused too on how this happened,” I rambled. 

Chris didn’t hear a word I had spouted, his eyes trained hard on the stick in his hand with the two solid pink lines. 

“You’re pregnant?” His mouth twitched. 

I nodded and handed him my phone that held an email from the doctors office, confirming the pregnancy. Yesterday morning while Chris was out with his mom, I secretly had an appointment. 

“The doctor says I’m about six weeks,” I spoke softly. 

I was unsure of what his reaction would be, his gaze still stuck on the pregnancy test in his hand. 

Dodger knew something was different, sniffing the test in Chris’ hand. 

Finally after what felt like forever, Chris looked into my eyes and his mouth curved into a smile. 

“We’re having a baby?” 

The smile he had was a giant one, where you could almost count all of his teeth as he smiled down towards Dodger, showing him the sonogram on my phone as if Dodger could tell what he was looking at. 

The joy in his voice brought tears to my eyes. 

“You’re happy?” I asked. 

His hands snaked around my waist, pulling me into his lap. “I’m fucking ecstatic.” 

Our lips met in a rushed kiss, his hand finding its place on my stomach. His forehead rested against mine and his eyes shone with so much love that my heart leaped into my throat, knowing that his reaction was the complete opposite of what I was prepared for. 

“Stay here,” He mumbled against my lips in another kiss. 

I waited patiently as he rummaged for something in the desk of his office and he returned, hand behind his back. 

“I was saving this for when we went away next month but I don’t think I can wait.” He spoke before handing me a small box. 

A small velvet box. 

I gasped, watching him get down on one knee, and pried open the box. Inside was a gorgeous oval cut diamond on a plain gold band. The sunlight from outside had caught the ring in a warm glow of light. 

“This isn’t the most romantic idea of a proposal but I don’t want to wait any longer to ask you this. I first met you in this room when you came to work for me and in that moment I knew I wanted you; I needed you in my life. Y/N, you know I love you so fucking much. You have changed my life in so many ways and now we’re having a baby. You’re having my baby and somehow I love you even more. Y/N, will you marry me?” The tears welled in his eyes and he blew out a shaky breath. 

“Fuck yes!” I cried, hormones causing my eyes to pour tears down my cheeks. 

After he slid the ring on my finger, he picked me up with ease as he walked us towards our bedroom so we could celebrate the rest of our lives. 

I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed in two years since I first drove up to this house, nervous about what the job was that I had an interview for. I never imagined that I would face my past again, not letting it define who I was anymore. And I definitely never thought I would find someone who would love me with his whole entire heart and soul, knowing how hard to love I was. But he did; Chris vowed to me that night in hushed moans that he loved me then and forever. 

Along with the baby I was growing in my stomach; our baby. 

AND FIN!

[walkerismychoice]

Queen of My Heart - Chapter 36

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake X MC, Liam X Olivia, Hana X OC Lydia

Rating: NSFW (I didn’t intend it but it just happened

Summary: Liam finally clears the air with Constantine, and we go to the Fire and Ice Ball at Lythikos, the final social season even before Liam chooses his future Queen.

A/N: Umm, I don’t even want to know how many years it’s been since I updated, but it is with the encouragement of you readers that I was compelled to finish.  My tag list is probably way outdated and I’m sure I’ve missed some poeple who’ve asked to be tagged along the way. Feel free to let me know either way if you want to be tagged or removed from the list.

Tag List: @khakie4 @dreadpirateemma @ritachacha @blackcoffee85 @choices-fanatic @boneandfur @butindeed @simplyaiden-blog @bobasheebaby @traeumerinsworld @theroyalweisme @umccall71 @lizeboredom @debramcg1106 @enmchoices @jadedpixiescribbles @withice @viktoriapetit @mfackenthal @drakesfiance @drakelover78 @speedyoperarascalparty @silviasutton1989 @krisnicjack @devineinterventions2 @choiceswreckedme @notoriouscs @blackcatkita @hamalu @akrenich @drakewalkerfantasy @jamielea81 @andy-loves-corgis @jlouise88 @jovialyouthmusic @sleepwalkingelite @i-miss-trr @dragonball-luver @gkittylove99 @lovingchoices14

Word Count: 2861

Queen of My Heart Chapter Index

“Hello, Father.” Liam greeted Constantine as he walked into the hospital room. He noted the King's color was back to normal and he seemed in good spirits.

"My son, I knew you'd come!" Constantine reached towards Liam with arms outstretched.

Liam just shook his head and held up a hand to stop him. "This is not that kind of visit. I'm here because I know... I know everything."

"What-" Constantine choked out before a coughing fit ensued.

Liam fought the instinctual urge to comfort his father. "Enough with the theatrics. I know about Madeleine...about you threatening the show if they didn't help her win...as if me choosing the woman I plan to spend my life with is some political game to be won."

 "How did you find out? I gave strict orders that my demands were confidential."

Liam scoffed. "Seriously? I just told you I found out you tried to have the producers manipulate me into marrying a woman I don't love, and that's all you had to say for yourself?"

"You have to understand," Constantine pleaded. "Madeleine is what's best for Cordonia, and what's best for Cordonia is what's best for you."

"Unbelievable!" Liam felt the anger rising in his chest like a simmering pot ready to boil over. "You may have told yourself that to feel better about choosing your commitments to Cordonia over happiness, love, family... Maybe you’ve lied to yourself for so long you’ve actually started to believe it, but it's one hundred percent bullshit. I know I'll be a more effective leader if I get to choose the woman I want by my side, and that woman is Olivia."

Constantine's jaw dropped and there was a long pause before he gained his composure to protest. "Absolutely not. You know her family's history. I'd rather have you on the same page as me, but I am still King-"

"Save your breath," Liam shut him down. "You should know that your perfect candidate Madeleine has displayed some behavior quite unbecoming of a future queen, and it is all on film. I know Cordonians are generally flexible with their views on monogamy, but I don't think Madeleine sleeping with the host of the show while she's trying to compete for my affection will look good in anyone's eyes. She has been eliminated from the show and is no longer in the running. That leaves only Riley aside from Olivia, and I know you know what's going on there."

Constantine's face fell momentarily in resignation, but then he perked back up again. "Well, then you can bring back someone else. Kiara is quite lovely and is fit to play the part."

"Enough!" Liam practically shouted much too loud for the thin hospital walls. "Not that I owe you an explanation, but Olivia is stronger, smarter, and more capable of ruling a country than anyone you could hope to pair with me. You seem to forget that I am the son who stuck by you and am now the rightful and only heir to the throne. Your reign is coming to an end, and you have no choice but to accept my decision."

Unexpectedly, Constantine's demeanor changed, a sly grin creeping across his face. "My boy, I've always been a bit worried you were too soft to be king. However, seeing you stand up for yourself today gives me hope. I still don't approve of your choice, but I will no longer stand in your way."

Liam shook his head and let out an incredulous laugh, reeling from Constantine’s sudden change of course. "Bastien will take you back to the palace. We can talk more when I know it's not just the medicine that's gotten to your head."

-----

“Well, this place certainly explains a lot about Olivia.” Riley mused aloud as she scanned the ballroom. Ornate floor to ceiling windows with deep alcoves were surrounded by walls with intricate, gilded accents leading up to a hand-painted ceiling measuring at least 3 stories high. The grandeur of the space was both intimidating and beautiful at the same time, much like its owner.

“Has she shown you all the toys in her armory yet? That too says a lot about Olivia," Drake chuckled at his own joke.

Riley laughed along. “No, but she does constantly remind me she keeps a dagger hidden under her skirt. Are you sure Liam knows what he’s in for?”

"Heh. Better him than me, that's for sure. Liam's warm and fuzzy exterior can make him seem like a pushover, but he can hold his own when it matters. Olivia needs someone who can roll with her mood swings but still call her on her bullshit when needed."

"You know, I admit I had a little trouble wrapping my brain around Liam choosing Olivia, but when you put it that way, it makes sense. Now I suppose I need to find Kat so I can figure out if I need to dance with Liam or something. Ugh, I cannot wait until all these balls are over.

Drake almost doubled over laughing. "Oh, Bennett, I hate to break it to you, but this shit never ends. Next will be the coronation, then some charity gala, Liam's wedding...the list goes on. Welcome to your life as a noble woman."

Riley stared ahead blankly as a giant wave of realization washed over her. It was all so much, so fast. She'd never had time to think past the next day to consider this was all ending soon, and then what? Did she stay with her new-found family and live this life that was still foreign to her in so many ways? What about her life in New York? Sure, she didn't have much going on at the moment, but she still had her aunt Susan and best friend Sarah along with some good friends at work like Daniel. Becoming a therapist was still one of her goals, at least it was until the day she left for Cordonia. Now everything was so unclear, and she could hardly breathe.

Drake must have noticed her face looking some kind of way because he placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her to an open doorway to a nearby balcony. "Why don't we get you some air before you go off and do your thing for the show?"

Once outside and around the corner of the wraparound balcony, Drake pulled Riley into his chest, holding her securely, and she was almost instantly calmed. All the what-ifs fell away, and it was just them. All she needed was the be with him, wherever that turned out to be, and everything else would fall into place.

But what if Drake didn't quite feel the same? They'd been talking as if they'd be together indefinitely, but in reality, they'd only known each other two months. The anxious fluttering in her chest started up again.

Drake pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Riley, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You know, we're both still half American. We can move back to the states....or uh, I mean you can move back to the states if that's what you want." His eyes darted bashfully to the ground.

Riley's face lit up, the nervous thumping in her chest giving way to excited butterflies. "I like the sound of 'we' better if that's what you really meant. You'd really move back to the U.S. with me? I mean I've hardly had the chance to think about what I want, so that may be irrelevant, but you seriously see a future with me?"

"I do." Drake smiled earnestly. "I'm sure anyone who knows me will think I've gone mad, but whether it means being in New York City and putting up with cramped apartments and way too many people, living a quieter, simple life in Texas, or stealing moments away at dreadful Cordonian events such as this, I know we can make our own happiness...together."

"Wow, the Drake Walker I met two months ago would not believe what's coming out of your mouth right now." Riley touched the back of her hand to Drake's forehead in jest. "Are you sure you aren't running a fever?"

"Haha, very funny." Drake swiftly but gently pushed Riley back again the stone wall. "I'm not feeling ill, but I know how to make your temperature rise.

"You pushing me against duchy walls is becoming a thing, huh? Must have really enjoyed the almost public sex last time."

"Possibly," Drake teased as he slipped his hand through the side-slit in her icy-blue gown, gently gliding his fingers up her thigh. Riley braced herself as Drake neared the place she wanted him the most. Goosebumps gave way to a burning need before she remembered where they were.

"Wait." She pushed a hand against his chest. "We're not exactly alone here, and we've gone to such lengths to keep this under wraps. Someone could walk out here at any moment."

Drake shrugged. "I know it may be a bit reckless, but honestly at this point, I don't care. I just want you."

Riley opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out before Drake swooped in for a searing kiss. She instantly melted into him, Drake continuing his earlier action and deftly plunging two fingers inside her, his eyes widening slightly in surprise when he noticed there was no fabric barrier to work around. A strangled moan escaped Riley's throat as he stroked the exact spot he knew always left her at his mercy.

Drake pulled back with a satisfied grin. "Do you want me to stop? Just say the word and we'll go back in right now."

Instead of answering, Riley yanked him by the collar and crushed her lips to his. Drake responded by hoisting her up and over to the balcony. He perched her atop the railing, one hand grasped firmly around her waist and the other making quick work of undoing his pants.

Teetering on the narrow ledge two stories high, Riley clamped her hand tightly to the railing on either side of her and Drake noticed. "I've got you Bennett, no need to worry. I won't let anything happen to you. I'm just doing my job after all," he said with a smirk.

She smiled at his reference to what was now an inside joke between them. But all joking aside, he always made her feel safe. She released her grip, flinging her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

Drake eased his cock free and Riley could tell how hard he was just by sight, the skin stretched taught from his perfect proportion of thickness and length. He lifted her dress and she couldn't wait any longer. She pulled him in and he took the invitation to thrust inside her. Even as wet was she was, his size created just the right amount of fullness and friction to take her breath away.

Riley moaned and gasped with each thrust, which in turn seemed to turn Drake on even more. The thrill of being up so high with nothing but him to hold her only added to her excitement and when he began rubbing circles over her clit with his thumb that was all it took to push her figuratively over the edge. She tightened around him everywhere, her orgasm eliciting immense heat and pleasure with every pulse, resulting in Drake picking up his pace until his own release followed shortly thereafter.

Drake carefully set Riley down before putting himself back together. "I'm almost a little disappointed we didn't nearly get caught this time."

"If I don't get back in there immediately, that's still a possibility." Riley had no idea how much time had passed but it was probably more than she thought. "Fuck, Kat is going to be pissed." Riley straightened her skirt and started towards the ballroom door.

"Wait!" Drake puller her in for a quick kiss. "I love you. Just so you don't forget."

Riley rolled her eyes but smiled. "You know you have nothing to worry about. If Liam's charms haven't wooed me yet, I think you’re safe. But I love you too. Now go do your job." She smacked him on the ass before hustling back to the ballroom, Drake following shortly thereafter.

As expected, Kat was frantic when Riley found her. “Where the fuck were you? You were supposed to meet up with me twenty minutes ago?”

Overhearing Riley’s scolding, Olivia smugly sidled up next to them. “I mean, I didn’t mind getting extra time with Liam, but you know Jo and Kat and there ‘ratings’, Olivia said while gesturing with air quotes. She scanned Riley from head to toe and then glanced over to Drake on the perimeter. “Ugh, I can tell you exactly what, or rather who she was doing. Gross. I guess that just makes my position more secure, but really, couldn’t you have waited until after my ball to fuck him?”

Riley sheepishly smoothed her hair and adjusted her dress. “I just needed some air, that’s all. I was having a moment.”

Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever you want to call it. Although I still cannot fathom why you chose Drake, I suppose I should be a little easier on you for eliminating yourself from the competition and allowing Liam to break free of his distraction of the shiny new object.”

“Aww, Olivia, that’s so sweet. Next thing you know we’ll be best friends,” Riley replied sarcastically.

 “I don’t know about friends...but I do dislike you less than the rest of them.” Olivia tried and failed to hold back a smile.

“I’ll take it,” Riley said with a laugh before turning to Jo. “Okay, now tell me where I need to be.”

Jo set Riley up with Liam on the dance floor. It still wasn’t hard to pretend to be into Liam because it wasn’t all pretend, but there was no lingering pining between them.

“Well, I spoke to my father this morning.” Liam spun Riley around and brought her back to face him.

“Finally!” Riley exclaimed. “How did that go?”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it to be completely honest, but it went surprisingly well. I told him I knew everything, and he no longer had a say in my decision. He tried to argue with me at first, but somehow something I said made him respect me. He still may not agree with my choice, but I think this is finally all over! I am free to choose who I want without any threat or blackmail hanging over my head.

Riley pulled Liam in and hugged him tightly. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you, and for all of us.” The weight on Riley’s shoulders was suddenly ten times lighter. She hadn’t let herself think too deeply about how much was at stake, but now that the air was clear, she realized how stressed she had been. “Now all that’s left is for you to tear my heart to pieces on national television, and you get your fairy tale ending.”

Liam chuckled. “I’ll try to let you down easy.”

-----

Drake stood in his usual position off the side of the dance floor. This may not be the last of these events he’d have to endure, but at least it should be the last time he’d have to stand on the sidelines watching Riley dance with someone else. He was secure in what they had, but it still didn’t stop that twinge of jealously seeing her and Liam together talking, touching, and having fun. But it wasn’t a bad thing that his best friend and girlfriend get along so well. Girlfriend...that’s the first time he’d used that term for anyone he’d “dated”, even if only in his head. It was hard to believe everything was falling into place.

Drake took his eyes off Riley to scan the perimeter. What he saw didn’t immediately register as out of the ordinary, but then he quickly recalled this person walking towards the dance floor wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Bastien, check out three o’clock.” Drake altered Bastien via his radio earpiece. “How did she get in here without security clearance?”

“I don’t know.” Bastien replied. “I’ll check with the other guys to see who let her in. Keep an eye on her.”

Drake watched in concern as Madeleine marched towards the dance floor. She’d been banned from the rest of filmed events after her stunt. Not wanting to let her cause a scene, Drake was about to stop her from getting any closer, when she pulled out an unmistakable object. She had a gun and it was pointed right at Riley and Liam.

Before Drake could alert the rest of the team, people started to scatter. He heard a familiar click and knew he had to disarm Madeleine immediately, but it was too late. A shot went off and he didn’t hesitate. Drake dove between the bullet and his two best friends on the dance floor, and that would be the last thing he remembered before he hit the floor.

[nctsjiho]

Lost Boy

warnings: none

era: fall 2018

❀ JiHo and Winwin go on a little mission to find a lost child’s parents

“I don’t know who’s idea it was to leave an 18 year old and an awkward foreigner boy alone in a foreign country, but the idea doesn’t sound the brightest.” JiHo noted while she scanned her surroundings. Winwin took slight offence to the comment and pushed her arm. “Hey! I’m not awkward.” The girl only sent him a smirk before looking around again.

The pair were outside in a less busy area of LA, while their manager went inside a store to grab some essentials. Normally something like that wouldn’t be allowed by the company so the manager had made JiHo and Winwin promise they wouldn’t tell anyone about it. Of course JiHo took advantage of the situation by requesting the manager would buy them some snacks - which also wasn’t allowed during JiHo’s diet, but the manager had to choose between potentially loosing his job, or just getting told of for letting JiHo break her diet. The decision was easily made.

While Winwin and JiHo immersed themselves in a casual conversation, JiHo suddenly felt a tug at her jacket. A little shocked at the unexpected movement, the girl looked down to see a small boy looking up at her. He must have only been around 5 years old, which made JiHo confused about who would let such a young child alone. But by the looks of the boy’s wide and teary eyes, it was definitely a case of a lost child, probably scared out of his mind.

JiHo’s features immediately softened, not wanting her underlying panic and concern for the boy affect the kid. “Hey little guy, what are you doing here alone?” JiHo asked in English and crouched down so she was at eye level with him. The little boy, however, didn’t respond. His lips were slightly trembling and his tears pooled at the corner of his eyes.

Winwin, who felt as shocked to see the lost child, crouched down as well and when the boy faced him he waved. “Hello.” He greeted in Korean, which had JiHo roll her eyes. “You weirdo, he doesn’t understand Korean. We’re in America.” She scolded, hitting her friend’s arm lightly. “You don’t know that.” Winwin retaliated. 

Before JiHo could fire back, the “arguing” friends heard a little giggle from the young boy. They both looked at the boy with smiles growing on their faces. “We sound funny don’t we?” JiHo asked and the young boy nodded, causing JiHo to laugh. She quickly translated to Winwin who found it endearing as well.

“What’s your name?” “Jonas.” The boy started to feel shy and casted his gaze on the floor. “Hi Jonas.” Winwin’s sweet tone completely stole the young boy’s heart as he now confidently smiled at Winwin. “No matter where we are, no matter who it is, everyone always falls in love with you.” JiHo snickered to which the older boy shrugged and then continued to wave at Jonas.

“What happened Jonas? Where are your parents?” The boy looked up at JiHo before explaining that they were with him at the park nearby and then suddenly he couldn’t see them anymore. “Did you cross the street all by yourself?” Jonas nodded as his eyes began to fill with even more tears. “Hey, don’t cry. We’ll go find your parents, but you should never cross the street by yourself okay?” Again the boy nodded and JiHo stood up.

Not really understanding what JiHo had just said, Winwin followed her lead and stood up as well. “What are we doing?” Winwin asked and JiHo’s eyes fell on the store their manager walked into about 5 minutes ago. “We’re going to find Jonas’ parents.” She looked at the small boy who was holding onto her hand and looking around the street, hoping to find his parents.

Winwin felt a bit uneasy, even though he wanted to help the child, their manager had no idea what was happening and had “ordered” them to wait outside and not move until he was back. JiHo noticed her friend’s inner turmoil and groaned. “If I have to I’ll go alone, but I’m not letting a kid go and find his parents alone in the late afternoon.” “But can’t we wait till hyung is back and go together?” Winwin tried to compromise. “We don’t know how long he’s going to be in there, and I don’t know how long his parents have been looking for their son. They must feel devastated.”

JiHo noticed how cold Jonas’ hand was so she took her jacket of and wrapped it around the little boy’s shoulders. “I’ll carry you.” She crouched down and Jonas wrapped his tiny arms around JiHo’s neck as he let her pick him up. “I’m going to look for his parents. You’re free to come or stay here, but I’m going.” JiHo told Winwin and then left in the direction of the park.

Winwin did a double take of the store before running and catching up to JiHo and Jonas. “I’m not letting you go alone.” He mumbled, to which JiHo felt a smile creeping on her lips.

Once they enter the park, JiHo asks Jonas a few questions like, “Where was the last place you saw your parents?” and “Did you see in which direction they left?”. Jonas wasn’t much of a help since he didn’t remember much. Yet JiHo completely understood, the boy lost his parents, he must have been so scared and panicked.

5 minutes went by, but they felt like at least half an hour and still they hadn’t found Jonas’ parents. Noticing how the small boy started to become a bit more restless Winwin came up with an idea. “I’ll carry him and you can run around and ask people if you have seen his parents.” Winwin suggested to which JiHo agreed. She handed over Jonas to Winwin who tried his best to entertain the boy. His English skills were very minimal, but Jonas seemed to prefer him saying things in Korean anyway. Each time he did, it elicited a giggle or a smile.

All Winwin had to do was keep Jonas calm, so JiHo could run around and hopefully find Jonas’ parents as soon as possible. He hated the fact that JiHo was running around alone at 5 pm on a particularly cold day, in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. Her jacket was still wrapped around Jonas, who seemed to appreciate the warmth it provided.

Winwin’s mind was clouded with so many thoughts, what if they didn’t find Jonas’ parents? What if something happened to JiHo? She was only 18 - technically speaking 17, her birthday was in a few months -  in a foreign country, with no supervision. Speaking of supervision, how was their manger going to react? Had he already left the store? Had he noticed him and JiHo weren’t there yet? How-

“Jonas!” “My baby!” Winwin’s head snapped to the direction of the screams. There he saw JiHo and two adults running towards them. “Mommy! Daddy!” The little boy screamed, happy to see his parents again. Quickly, Jonas was scooped out of Winwin’s grasp by the little boy’s father. “Thank you two so much! Oh my God, I was so scared!” The mother cried and pulled JiHo in a hug.

Once the mother stopped crying and had hugged her child, they turned to the two idols. “Thank you again! Thanks for taking care of my little boy.” The father said, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart. “No worries, your son is such a nice boy.” JiHo explained while she got her jacket handed back. “How could I ever repay you?” JiHo held up her hands explaining that they were okay and didn’t need anything. “Did they take good care of you?” The father asked Jonas who then excitedly started telling about how nice JiHo was and how funny Winwin and JiHo talked to each other. It melted both their hearts and then they waved the family goodbye after getting a last hug from the boy.

“He was cute.” Winwin smiled to which JiHo agreed. She then poked his shoulder twice. “We should head back, oppa isn’t going to be happy-” “YOU TWO!” As if on cue, their manager appears, sweat was dripping of his temples as he approached them. “I told you to wait in front of the store! I could already see my career- no, my whole life flash in front of my eyes!” JiHo and Winwin look at their manager with a sheepish grin. “Why are you here?” Winwin then explained what happened and their manager’s gaze softened.

“Next time, don’t forget your phones in the hotel okay? I was worried sick, but thank God you’re both fine.” The manager patted both idols’ shoulders. “And you did something amazing. I’m happy you found that little boy’s parents. I think I almost can relate to his parents.” JiHo cooed at their manager and looked up at him with big eyes. “Aw~ You care about us like we’re your own children?” JiHo teased which caused Winwin to laugh. “Never mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to find you.” He groaned.

“Me?! Why are you looking at me only? What about Winwin?!” JiHo asked offended. “What do you mean, JiHo? Didn’t you say everyone always falls in love with me?” The boy wiggled his brow as he mocked the girl. She rolled her eyes while looking at the manager. “Yeah, I think I prefer Winwin right now. Here you go buddy.” He hands him the snacks he got for him earlier. “What about mine?” The manager laughed. “I stress binge ate your snack while I was looking for you guys.” JiHo stopped in her tracks, mouth fallen open while the other two continue to walk. “That’s so unfair.” JiHo mumbled but quickly rushed to catch up with the others.

“Be careful what you say oppa. I can tell SM about how you left us alone outside-” “Here!” He shoved a bag of snacks into JiHo’s hands which made her smile sweetly. “Have I ever told you, you are my favourite manager?” JiHo beamed while opening the snack. “Shut up and eat.” He grumbled.

---

Side Note: Long overdue Winwin writing, there’s still a few members that I haven’t written for, so I’m slowly getting there. The member’s I haven’t written for, funnily enough, are some of the ones that I want to write for the most, but I’m having a hard time finding the perfect stories for them. Just letting you know, so you know that I love them as much as the other members. I know Haechan and Doyoung appear on this blog the most, (and I might have another Doyoung angst in my drafts) but that isn’t because I like them more, I love all NCT members equally. <3

Also posting 2 days in a row because I felt inspired and I might have given up on an assignment for this

[imerdwarf]

Love At First Crash

Summary: your car gets taken to the repair shop where you meet the man who will repair it for you.

Prompt:

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: flirting, mild angst, idiots in love, happy ending 🥰

Word Count: 2,128 (I AM SO SORRY)

Author's Notes: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club's Drunk Drabbles 💜 my first time writing for mechanic!Bucky, thank you so much @jobean12-blog for checking it and giving me your thoughts 💜

It's been just a few days since you've visited the repair shop and met the owner Bucky Barnes. His charming smile made your tummy feel like you had a swarm of butterflies fluttering around inside.

His tight white tank top was pulled so tightly across his chest that his pecs could be seen. His black jeans that sculptured around his thick thighs to show off those thigh muscles, his mechanical outfit was matched perfectly with his black boots.

Your footsteps echoed off the bare concrete walls and floors as you entered the repair shop back from the back entrance. The metal shutters with a dangling chain link was rolled halfway up and a dozen of motorcycles parked next to the doors.

The distant quiet music from the digital radio did very little to quieten your footsteps. Bucky had heard you and rolled himself out from underneath your car. He smirked up when he saw you approach him.

"Hey there doll." Bucky showed off his perfect pearly whites and that was the same smile that gave you the butterfly feeling.

"Hey Bucky," you smiled back and sheepishly shoved your hands in the front of your pockets. You had originally opted to call him James, but he beefy man insisted on Bucky since his close friends and family called him by that name and James had sounded so foreign to his ears.

Bucky stood up, his biceps flexing under his movements and you couldn't stop the creeping flush. You cleared your throat and looked at your car.

"She's looking good!" Bucky's smile grew wider by how excited and happy you were.

"Yes you are," he muttered under his breath but you heard him say something. Your head snaps towards him and grin.

"What did you just say?" Bucky blushed and now it was his turn to clear his throat and rub the back of his neck, unknowingly with his greasy padded fingertips which left a black streak.

"I said she is, she won't be too long in here actually, a few more days." He wanted to exhale his sigh of relief when you nodded your head and looked back at your car.

"Great, you're the best Bucky!"

Bucky was absolutely beaming from the praise but it wasn't a lie, Bucky really was the best. He was so the best in fact that you found yourself daydreaming about the beefy mechanic days after you visited him at the shop.

You were laying on your couch listening to the birds singing outside and staring up at the white ceiling with your hands resting on your stomach thinking about that gorgeous smile of his. You loved the way his hair was always slicked back into a bun and how his shirt was always grease stained, a sign of a hard working man. You knew he was working hard to get your car back on the road as soon as possible, he kept in touch to let you know how everything was going.

You were falling for him, fast and hard. He was all you could ever think about, he was all you dreamed about and he lived rent free in your head.

Your gut clenches from the thought that realistically, he is probably in a serious long-term relationship with a much more beautiful woman, one that must make him happy because he was always in a good mood and always smiling.

Your chances of ever being with him were really slim, and it was such a bitter pill to swallow. He was just a crush and that is all he would ever be. But it didn't stop you from creating scenarios in your head with him. What your evenings would look like cuddled on the couch watching movies, listening to music or just talking to each other. What kind of food you'd cook him, would he kiss you as a compliment? In your head he does.

You wonder what it would be like to have him underne—

"Y/N!" Wanda's voice suddenly breaks through your thoughts and you blink back to reality. You mumble a response and Wanda finds you laying on the couch staring up to nothing, again, "still daydreaming about your hot boyfriend?" She teases and you scoff, sitting up to glare at her.

"He is not my boyfriend. Never was, never will be." Your face drops when you said it out loud, as though it suddenly dawned on you.

"But you have a crush on him right?" Wanda pushes and you regret ever spilling the beans to her in the first place, of course she is never going to let this go.

"No." You lied.

"Then why does he make you look so sad?" Damn it Wanda, "look, I'm not here to pressure you but my brother is back in town and we are meeting at the bar tonight! He misses you and wants to see you!"

"Bucky misses me?!" You may have zoned out again thinking about Bucky. Wanda rolls her eyes and laughs lightly.

"No! Pietro! But I'm sure Bucky does kiss you... I mean miss you!"

You smiled, great now another thing to add to your scenarios.

"What time?"

"8pm sharp! Don't be late!" She kisses your cheek in a friendly manner before skipping out of your door and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You had a few more hours to lay here and do nothing but think about him.

***

The bar was crowded when you arrived and you headed towards the bar to order a drink when Pietro came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You screeched out when you turned around and saw it was him, pulling him into a tight hug and keeping your hands on his forearms as he kissed your cheeks.

It might have been innocent, but from where Bucky was stood, it seemed like the two of you were an item and his heart dropped into his stomach and his mood turned sour.

He had no idea you were with Pietro, he knew him because he's a well known lawyer with a lot of successful cases under his belt so he couldn't blame you for being with someone with a clean job while he went to work everyday in a greasy repair shop.

He's only met you a dozen times but he doesn't remember you ever smiling that brightly at him when you were in his repair shop.

"You're brooding." Natasha, one of Bucky's oldest friends told him as she sipped her dry red wine. Bucky rolled his eyes and swished his beer around in his hand.

"I'm fine." Bucky scoffed and turned his angle away from Natasha.

"You're in love." Bucky again rolls his eyes and tries to ignore her. He tries to ignore you both, he tries to contain the jealousy that desperately wants to come out and say something about the way you're not even pulling away from Pietro.

"I'm leaving," Bucky tells Natasha, chugging the rest of his beer before slamming the bottle down on a nearby table, he turns to Nat and points a finger in her face, "and don't follow me."

The catch-up with Pietro was nice, it's been a few years since you've seen each other and he was telling you about his new wife when you saw Bucky storm out of the bar over his shoulder. Your eyes widened, never even noticing he was here and oh god, how this must have looked. Your heart sunk when you saw a redhead follow in his direction, that must have been his girlfriend.

Your mood to stay in the bar any longer was diminished and now all you wanted to do was go home and be by yourself.

You excused yourself from Pietro's grip and bid Wanda a quick goodnight before making a quick exit out of the bar and heading straight home.

Your thoughts kept you up the whole night. You couldn't sleep and tossed and turned throughout the cold night. You kept thinking back to the way he stormed out of the bar, if only you had seen him sooner.

Wanda entered your home early the next morning to find you already sitting up at the kitchen table nursing a hot cup of coffee. You looked exhausted and she could tell you haven't slept.

"Hey." She whispers, putting her hand on your shoulder, "are you okay?" You nod your head and sigh, not being in the mood to talk about things right now.

"I'm fine, just tired from last night." It's a lie that Wanda seems to accept for now.

"Barnes called." Wanda sighs and your head snaps up, "your car is ready to be picked up. I'll go and get it for you so you can rest." You feel upset that he couldn't or didn't want to call you but called your emergency contact instead.

"O-kay."

"I'll be back in a bit!" Wanda leaves quickly, jumping into Pietro's car and rehearsing the conversation in her head before she confronted Bucky.

Bucky was wiping his dirty greased up fingertips on the rag he had stuffed in his back pocket when Wanda arrived with Pietro. He saw him drive off shortly after she got out and Bucky refrained from rolling his eyes.

He was probably going home to you. He thought selfishly to himself. He mustered the biggest smile he could but it didn't fool Wanda.

"Wanda."

"Barnes, you called?"

"Yeah, Y/N's car is ready."

"And you couldn't inform her why?" Wanda queried, noting the disappointing look that swam in his eyes.

"I didn't think Pietro would like that."

Wanda bent over and held her stomach as she laughed. Bucky's eyebrows pinched together in confusion, "What's so funny?" He snapped, angry at how this whole thing was completely unfair.

"I'm sorry- it's just- it's just- oh god- Pietro is my brother and he's married." Wanda said between breaths.

This only infuriated Bucky even further, "good for him but I don't need to know how happy they are together!" He needed to chill and calm down. Jealousy was not a good look.

"He isn't married to Y/N. She's single, has a crush on you, maybe even hopelessly in love with you but that's fine if you want to-"

"She's what?" Bucky asks shocked, there's no way a pretty dame like yourself could love him. He's too basic, too plain.

"Why don't you drop me home in Y/N's car and take her car back to her yourself and you'll see what I mean." It was an offer he couldn't refuse. If Wanda wasn't pulling his leg, and you really were single, he needed to get to you before someone else did.

***

It's been well over an hour since Wanda left to pick up your car. In that time, you managed to take a shower to release your tense muscles, take something for the pounding headache and change into an outfit.

You were really excited to get your car back, making a promise with yourself that you'll be a lot more careful this time and try not to get into more car crashes.

You heard the engine in your driveway and you leapt towards the front door with a smile on your face, your smile growing even wider when you saw it wasn't Wanda behind the wheel, but Bucky. You couldn't put your finger on why you were so happy to see him, maybe it was a little hope he didn't hate you after all.

He got out of the car and strolled up towards you with a matching smile on his own face. His hands were in his front pockets and he looked amazing dressed in all black with a black leather jacket.

"Hi!" Your dam almost breaks, you were awake the whole night worrying about what would happen and then he didn't call you himself this morning about your car, it was easy to jump to conclusions, "I'm so happy to see you."

"Doll, I'm sorry I didn't call- my thoughts- well, I mean my feelings got in the way and I let my jealousy shine brighter than the sun." He chuckled shyly.

"Please you don't need to explain, it's me who owes you an explanation. You see, Pietro and I are—"

"No need doll. Wanda told me everything. It's a pretty warm day, Steve is covering for me back at the shop and I wondered if you'd like to head down to the beach with me?"

You grinned and looked down to your feet before looking into his eyes again, "I can make a picnic?"

"Sounds like a date!"

"A date it is."

Taglist: @smokeybluebrooke-lyn @pinkdiamond1016 @whatrambles @bestofbucky