#Its phase 4 of the Radiance that gets me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boarix · 4 years

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Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XX

Call My Name

Trigger Warnings: canon violence/gore/language/gun, drug and alcohol use.

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Deacon and Wraith had finished placing the MILA at the construction site in Cambridge and were taking stock of ammo and equipment before heading back to Railroad HQ. Deacon was especially eager to move along as the building was tall and they were still at the top. Wraith was nonchalantly lounging in a chair with its deposed super mutant owner lying at her feet. She had no idea he was acrophobic, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“You almost ready, boss?” He kept his tone light, “You’ve been staring at you’re Pip-Boy for a few days now.”

She made a circular motion with her right hand, “I’m trying to see if there isn’t a quicker way back then there was to…” She interrupted herself by laughing, “a few days?” She smiled up at him, “You in a particular rush?”

“My rush isn’t so particular, just feels too open here. If I were a sniper I’d be there,” He pointed helpfully, “or there, or there. Isn’t this fun?”

“Okay, okay…” She continued to stare at her screen.

“Whisper, it’ll be dangerous to climb down in the dark. Which is soon…” He shuffled closer to her while purposefully dragging the soles of his sneakers, “I’m also starving. Can we stop at the Fast Food?”

She chuckled, “We have food at home.” She stood and stretched, “I think there’s a way to get over to the freeway from here. I want to go check it out real quick.”

He frowned dramatically at her, “But I’m hungry.”

She reached into her pack, grabbed a small package wrapped in cheese cloth and tossed it to him as she walked, “Here. It’s fruit leather.” She pulled one out for herself but rather than eat it she sniffed and frowned at it, “This batch is too heavy on the carrots. I miss bananas. These would have better with bananas. Or I could make chips! Mmm, banana chips.”

Distracted by her melancholy, for a brief moment he forgot his fear. Balling up the entire strip, he clowned for her by shoving it into his mouth, “Mmfp. Sfo… thereshf im brogdgg nofp wha?”

She snorted and laughed, “If you’re asking me about a bridge… kinda?”

His fear was back.

The gap between the building and the freeway was only about 6 or 7 feet. It was bridged by road sign that looked fairly secure, but to Deacon it might as well have been miles. His arms twitched up reflexively as Wraith skipped across.

“I’ve been meaning to see if there was anything good up here. Since it’s so out of the way I thought there might be an armored truck… Are ya comin’?” She leaned back in to view, eyebrows tented and lip sticking out, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’ just… how long do you suppose this has been here?”

“It’s pretty solid, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You didn’t hardly step on it.”

“You’re just as light on your feet as me. Don’t try to jump it.” When he didn’t immediately move, she offered him an out, “Or, you can just hang tight for a sec, I shouldn’t be long.”

“No, no. We’re partners; I go where you go.”

He tried to take it in two large strides, but with his vision marred by vertigo, his second step landed heavily on a rusted edge and the whole piece gave way. Wraith lunged to grab his hand, yelling his name. Swinging forward, he yelped in pain as his right hip was punctured by exposed rebar. Hearing his cry, Wraith didn’t immediately pull him up for fear of causing further damage.

“Are you hung-up? Can you free yourself?!”

“I’m… going… grragh… to try…” Though he knew it would cause a flash of intense pain, he reached up to hold her hand with both of his. He took a few deep breaths to recover. When he tried to pivot to push off with his left foot, the pain was too intense and he felt a surge of panic. “I can’t!”

“Are you cut?! I can’t … I can’t see.”

Screwing his eyes shut he tried to calm himself, “I got stabbed. It’s not super deep but this… I don’t think I’ll be able to talk my way out of this one. Ha hahaha!”

“Deacon, look up at me. You are going to be okay. I won’t let you fall. Let go with one hand and see if you… don’t shake your head!” She smiled and lowered her voice, “I’m very strong, Deacon. I promise I won’t let you fall. Trust me.”

“I…” He swallowed hard, “believe you.” Bolstered by her smile he let go and set his free hand against the girder. Screaming through the pain he brought his foot up and pushed off with both limbs. “GGGAAAARRRKKKK FREE!”

Wraith yanked him up next to her as if he were a prized catch at the end of a fishing line. He immediately dropped to the asphalt and was very noisily sick off the side of the bridge. Wraith ignored his retching but made assorted unhappy noises at the hole in his hip that was in fact very deep and bleeding a lot.

“You liar, you’re a goddamn shish kebab!” Quickly she gave him a one-two punch of Med-X and a Stimpak. When he made a small noise of protest against the painkiller she growled at him, “You hush! Being in pain slows healing.”

“And being on chemsh makes me shlow everything!” The lightning-fast med already had him stumbling over his words.

In the midst of her tying a temporary bandage, yellow-green lightning split the sky which set the Geiger counter on Wraith’s Pip-Boy to ticking madly. A rad storm was approaching fast. “Oh, for crying out loud!” Glancing around fearfully, she spotted a semi-trailer. Popping Deacon up and over her shoulder she made for the truck and set to work picking the lock.

“No, noooo NO! Danger! DANGER AGENT WHISNMPERS!”

“Yeah, yeah; ‘never open a new can of worms while cleaning up the first’. Look, I need to get you inside someplace!”

Tipped on its side, the trailer’s interior was narrow but devoid of monsters. Wraith gently lay Deacon down atop the scattered shipping tubs and glanced around for an additional light source to supplement her Pip-Boy, “Keep pressure on it, I’m going to hop back and grab some of those lanterns…” Once she returned she pulled shut the truck’s cargo door and got out her knife. However, when she turned back to Deacon he was nowhere to be seen. “Did you just… are you using a Stealth Boy?!”

“I don’t want you t’ cut my jeans!”

Blinking rapidly, she looked down at her combat knife and then back up to where his voice came from, “Deacon… you might bleed out! I’ll make you new pants!”

“Imma try to get out… OW! Huuurrgn… of them…” Failing, he phased back into view with a miserable expression on his face.

“There’s nothing wrong with showing a little leg. Or… a lot… damn, Deacon.” She made an attempt to school the worry from her face as she worked, “Looks like you’ll need to wear skirts for a while.”

“I have the calves for it.”

She couldn’t disagree, “Actually, you have better legs then me. Turn a little more on your side…”

“Why don’t you like the way you look? I think you’re pretty.”

“Well, I think you’re pretty too, Deacon. So I’ll throw that right back at you; why do you want to change your face again? Seems a more… dramatic solution than sticking on a false mustache. What’s th’ matter? Can’t grow facial hair?”

“I grow the best bneards you’d ever shee!”

“I’ll take your word for it. Anyway, I like the face you’re currently wearing.”

He was touched and even with his chem addled brain he knew the conversation was getting dangerously close to things he wasn’t sure he wanted her to know. It was time to change the subject, “What’s that? Brobzzs… Brave… Bavarian… Bob’s Best Moonshine?”

Wraith had pulled what looked like a liquor bottle out of her pack, “Oh, no. Curie gave me a lecture on how terrible alcohol is for wounds. So, I’ve been trying to carry soapy water instead. Buuuut,” She soaked a clean rag and gently wiped at his injury, “I don’t think she realizes that soap is way more rare out here then booze.”

Satisfied that the bleeding had stopped, she helped the now shivering spy into a sleeping bag and made for the door. “I’m going to go see if there is a quicker way down from here. I want to get you back to HQ and Carrington ASAP.”

“Jump down would be fastnerest.”

“You tried that already…” Her spirits sagged as she jogged along the short span of crumbling road. Then, they suddenly skyrocketed when she noticed there was a scaffolding lift on the very edge of the partially destroyed highway, “Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!”

The storm had passed so when Wraith returned she put Deacon’s pack in the sleeping bag with him and cinched the opening until only his face showed. She shouldered her own pack and then bent to pick him up as well. She had thought he was asleep until he started giggling.

“He heee; imma worm.”

“Oh, Deacon, you’re my favorite.”

……

“HANCOCK!” MacCready watched in horror the ghoul dropped to the pavement and writhed about while clutching his head. Fearing he’d been shot, the sniper pushed away from the feral citizen he’d been trying to subdue and rushed to the mayor’s side. “What?! Tell me…”

Hancock gaped; opening and closing his mouth like a fish trying to breathe air. His eyes bulged and were completely unfocused.

“She’s attacking him! Radiance!” Fahrenheit wanted nothing more than to throw herself off the balcony and rush to her father, “Pick him up or drag him if you have to but move him away from the bar!”

MacCready stooped and hooked the ghoul under the armpits while Magnolia grabbed his legs; both calling for the Watch. They only made it a few steps before multiple ferals burst from the Third Rail and charged them. The sniper dropped to a knee and set Hancock down as softly as time would allow. Telling the singer to pull Hancock toward the Memory Den he unholstered his sidearm and started an attack of his own. Aiming for their legs as he dodged their swinging arms, he lured them away. Twisting and turning, he danced just out of their reach and quickly cut them down.

“HELP ME!

Surprised by Magnolia’s desperate cry, MacCready whipped around and then stood frozen by what he saw. Hancock had lifted the singer off the ground to chest height and was viscously shaking her back and forth in the air. Like a terrier with a rat.

Thinking quickly, the young man took aim with the syringer and hit the ghoul in the neck with a dose of Pistol Whipped. The effect was almost instantaneous; Magnolia was released and the two dropped to the pavement. As he jogged toward them past the entryway to the bar, MacCready was hit by a powerful shockwave of radiation that swept him off his feet and hurled him through the window of the offices across the street.

Radiance seemed to almost float above the ground as she moved to where Hancock lay. Determined to claim him as a prize, her blazing eyes were fixed on his face. She was confused why she lost her hold on his mind and curiosity drove her to edit her own plan, act directly and leave the relative safety of the Rail. As she crouched and reached out to touch his brow, a shot rang out and she felt burning pain as a .44 bullet tore through the palm of her clawed hand.

When MacCready stepped back through the shattered glass, he was terrifying to behold: blood steamed down his face from a multitude of lacerations, and his cerulean eyes were a promise of death, “You can’t have him.”

The glowing one rose to her feet, turned up the heat and sent out another blast of energy. MacCready suddenly found himself in the midst of revived, legless ferals. They pulled themselves after him, snarling. Dodging, he continued his assault on their mistress but found that her radiation was both acting as a shield as well as healing any damage he managed to inflict. He was getting dangerously close to cursing loudly.

“MACCREADY, GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Fahrenheit had returned to the balcony, this time armed with a minigun.

Even as the gun began its spin up, Radiance decided to make a tactical retreat. Sending out a psionic call, she dashed back into the Third Rail with her few remaining minions trailing behind.

……

“Hey, Glory; think fast!”

The Railroad heavy easily caught the beer that Wraith tossed to her. “It’s cold! Where’d you get this?”

Wraith set a cooler on the floor and pulled a chair up next to where the synth was sitting, “I’ve a buddy in Goodneighbor.”

“Oh, ha ha.”

Wraith held up another and gently rocked it back and forth in Tinker Tom’s direction, “TT, come have a brewski with us!”

The Railroad engineer’s eyes lit up and he quickly walked over to them, holding both his hands up toward the booze the entire way, “Oooh, presents!” He took a swig and made several, almost inappropriate, noises of appreciation. “Well, don’t that beat all?” He smiled down at her, “Where’ve you been, Whisper? We missed you.”

She did a quick survey of the room, “Doc told me that Deacon needed some time and Hancock had mentioned a friend of his needed work so I’ve been dragging this kid around with me while I do Minutemen stuff. I see my partner isn’t here resting, like he’s supposed to be.”

Glory made an indelicate noise, “Nope. Though if Carrington catches him out, working with that injury…”

“Doc’s just itchin’ for an excuse to holler at our boy D.”

“You called?” With an almost imperceptible limp, Deacon, dressed in Gunner camo, crossed the room from the backdoor tunnel and leaned rather heavily on the center map table. He set down the sniper rifle he’d been carrying and frowned at the three of them, “Doing some day drinking, are we?”

Wraith flashed him a bright smile, “It’s gotta be five o’clock somewhere.”

“Yeah, D! Don’t be such an old lady, man.”

“You know, I briefly was an old-lady man. It worked out pretty well too.”

Glory laughed, ��I admit that was a good one. No one ever suspects a little old woman. I’m surprised you didn’t keep her going longer.”

“It was hard on th’ back.”

Wraith popped her chin at his gun, “What have you been up to?”

“Now that I know that lift is stable, it’s a great spot for… observation.”

“I think someone had told me that area was a good spot for a sniper.”

“Well, whoever that mysterious stranger was they sure were brilliant as well as handsome.” He felt a flutter in his chest when Wraith smirked while giving him a toe to crown look of appraisal. She smiled into her beer and blushed slightly when she saw that he caught her and this in turn caused all matter of mental alarm bells to start shrieking at him.

NOT GOOD! VERY BAD! STOP FLIRTING!

“So what brings you in today? You want me back on deck, huh?”

“Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Yup! Fit as a fiddle.”

Glory rocked her beer back and forth at him, “That’s not what Carrington said.”

“Pfft, Carrington… I’ll have you know that I went to Amari for a second opinion and she said ‘Deacon, please leave. You are underfoot and I am too busy.’”

Wraith laughed, “You were probably in Goodneighbor the same time I was.” She paused for a second when she saw Deacon’s brow twitch. “Actually I came to let you know that I need more time. Desdemona says there’s nothing for us right now and this kid, MacCready, I think he might really need my help.”

“Yeah. Help. Right.” Deacon shouldered his rifle and turned brusquely away, “I’m going to report to Dez. See you ‘round, Whisper.”

Tom patted Wraith on the back, “Don’t take it to heart; he’s just sore he has to share you.”

……

The Minutemen had made it to Goodneighbor in record time. A temporary field hospital had been erected and several of the Dragoons, wielding Gatling guns, were stationed in and around the Third Rail. Hancock was still unconscious and MacCready was holding one of the ghoul’s hands while a medic worked on the lacerations on his face.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about scarring. The derma-fuse works really well on glass cuts like these.”

MacCready mumbled his thanks, his eyes on Hancock.

The medic tried to reassure him, “Dr. Amari says his brain looks no worse than usual… erm… I’ll make sure you have a dose of Radaway…”

“No need,” Magnolia interrupted, “he’s the Mayor’s boyfriend. I’m sure he’s on a suppressive dose of Rad-X.”

MacCready chuckled, “That’s really funny, actually.” Then, when he realized the medic hadn’t gotten the joke he rolled his eyes, “She’s kidding. Yes, I need a bag of Radaway.”

Magnolia was wearing a neck brace and had dark circles under her eyes. She sat on the ghoul’s opposite side and took his other hand in hers.

“You’re not scared of him?”

She frowned at him, “Of course not.” She smiled tenderly down at the sleeping mayor, “I owe Hancock my life. He’s protected me here for years, and I know he would never hurt me willingly.” Her face hardened, “Am I crazy or did that wretched hag go for him specifically?”

“That’s what it looked like to me. I think this whole attack was meant to secure him.”

“Why?” Fahrenheit had ducked under the tent flap and stood at the foot of Hancock’s gurney. She looked tired and worried, and it carried in her voice, “Also, no Wraith? Why would Radiance come here herself without her strongest piece? It’s a move that makes no sense.”

“Not everything is chess.” MacCready had a warning in his voice, “Wraith isn’t a queen and we aren’t all pawns!”

“I never said you were all pawns; Hancock is at the very least a knight.”

“THIS ISN’T A GAME!”

“Uuhhg, MacCready, are you yellin’ some more?” Hancock made a halfhearted attempt to sit up before collapsing back onto his pillow, “Someone catch the brand on the brahmin that stamped my head last night?”

MacCready, all but sobbing in relief, embraced the ghoul and kissed him soundly, “I had to shoot you with the syringer. It scared the sh… crap out of me!”

“You shot me? Why?” He brought a scarred hand to his forehead, massaging it as he tried to remember, “What happened? How long was I out? I remember I was holding Curtis… damn. Everything’s all backwards.”

“You’ve been unconscious for about four hours. Radiance came up through the Blue Line into the Rail. We all seem to agree that she intended to leave with you.”

“I saw Wraith!” Hancock sat up quickly, his headache momentarily forgotten, “It was just a flash but…”

“What do you mean? She was here?!” MacCready stood up and made as if to leave the tent.

Hancock waved him back down, “No. No, I saw her in… she was someplace dark… her eyes… I think I saw her when the glowing one had me.” He shook his head, wincing, “That sounds crazy, even for me.” He gave MacCready a wan smile, “I’m sorry I’m no help…”

“What does she want with you? What does she want with Wraith?” Frustration gave an edge to Fahrenheit’s voice, “If we could figure out what the hell her endgame is, we could make a more efficient counterstrategy. Wraith is in the dark? Well, so are we!”

Hancock nodded, “We need to be proactive and not reactive. Right. Call Curie. She might want adjust the dosage on Pistol Whipped and I want to brainstorm with Nicky so better call him too. Oh, and give me the names of all my people who didn’t make it or are still feral.”

……

“Are you trying to sneak up on me, Whisper?”

“Well, kinda.” Wraith sat cross-legged next to Deacon. She had gone to Railroad HQ in search of him only to find that her partner was once again AWOL. The broken freeway was the next place she checked.

“Trying to impress me?”

She stuck out her lower lip and dipped her chin, “Yeah.”

Her admission surprised him as well as stoked his ego, “Well, I’m sure with a little more practice you’ll be half again as good as me.”

She laughed, “Thanks, teach. I love what you’ve done with the place, by the way.”

Deacon had set up a small lean-to on the upper level, tagged with the railsign for “cash”, “Yeah, I’m glad I found it.” He had brought up a beach lounger and now, in an attempt to appear casual, leaned back with his arms folded behind his head, “So, what’s up?”

“I’ve gotten a really good lead on Shaun…” She paused when Deacon abruptly sat up and leaned toward her, “Hancock and I are going to look for an Institute scientist… in the Glowing Sea…”

“The Glowing…” He didn’t even bother to hide the concern on his face, “You’re taking Hancock?”

“Yeah, well, he’s…” She floundered, looking for the right words, “a ghoul.” she finished, lamely.

“He’s also not exactly Mr. Dependable.”

I should not be this jealous!

“I don’t know, Deacon; he’s been really supportive and helpful. He’s a good friend. Besides, I know how much you hate power armor. I promise I’ll share any information I get with you and Dez.”

“My hip is all healed, Whisper. I want you to know that you can depend on me too.”

Shut up! Shut up, shut up shutyourstupidmouthyoumoron!

Wraith’s forehead creased and she leaned away from him, “Oh, no! It’s not that! Hancock was with Valentine and me… he asked to go. I know I can count on you. Really!”

“Regardless of power armor, I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor.”

Wraith sputtered for a moment before tilting her head back and laughing, “That was just perfect! You know, I think you and Hancock would get along really well if you tried. You both like the same books, apparently.”

……

Infamy watched Radiance leave with an escort of ferals. Having firmly established where the other glowing one’s limit of irresistible influence was, Atom’s Assassin hid in the caves the host was occupying; waiting for just such an opportunity. With most of the ferals left to wander freely throughout the expansive catacombs, Wraith’s guard consisted of only one bloated glowing one and a few reavers.

“If I can pull you away…” At war with themselves, the ghoul couldn’t decide if they were there to try and rescue Wraith, or destroy her. “Hmm, what would Atom do?”

Pushing their will onto the reavers, they caused them to swarm the bloated one until the assassin could put their knife through its eye. As they turned back to Wraith they jumped involuntarily because she had stood up and begun to growl.

“You’ve smelled better, Sister Wraith.” Another choice popped into their head, “Or… you could be mine. Perhaps the Mother has chosen you to be a harbinger for Infamy!” They cackled wildly in excitement, “Ha! Ha haha! Hmm, mustn’t get carried away, now. First things first…” Filled with narcissistic confidence, they sent a blast of psionic energy at Wraith’s mind. Fully expecting her to be knocked off her feet, they were shocked and irritated when they hit a solid mental wall. “What is this? We should be well outside of mommy’s range!”

Wraith flexed her hands menacingly as her growl deepened and grew louder. Then with shocking speed she sprinted for Infamy. When the ghoul tried to sidestep away, she anticipated the movement and hit them with backhand that nearly sent them across the room. Recovering quickly, the glowing one sent their captive reavers to trip her up, giving them time to put more distance between them. Strangely, Wraith didn’t kill the attacking ferals but only pushed them down and away.

“Hmm. Mommy doesn’t want you to kill your siblings, ey? Well, that works for me. Let’s see if we can’t tear down that wall, hmm?”

For several long moments the group danced back and forth across the rocky floor. Wraith seemed tireless and occasionally she would knock the ferals down long enough to attack Infamy. Regretting having destroyed the bloated glowing one, the assassin found that their utter lack of progress was filling them with fear. It dawned on them that without the reavers, they may have already been killed.

“Damn you!” They hissed, “Damn you, you beast!”

Suddenly the ferals and Wraith looked up at the cavern ceiling and froze. They stood motionless for a few moments before they all started snarling. Then, Wraith put her hands up to either side of her helmet and cried out. Still clutching her head, she stepped away from the reavers and began groaning what sounded like a name. Infamy edged closer to try and hear.

“Hann… Hn… Han.. Hancock…”

……

“Remember, Wraith’s appearance will most likely have changed and she will undoubtedly attack us. Do your best to evade and aid MacCready in lining up his shot. If injured, fall back immediately! We cannot afford a bottleneck or blockage that may prevent access to the cages.” Danse took a deep breath, “Do not exit your power armor for any reason! Assume the radiation levels to be at lethal levels throughout the vault. You few have been chosen for your exceptional levelheadedness and steady aim. If spotted, you are to shoot the glowing one known as Radiance on sight. Do not hesitate, and shoot to terminate. There isn’t a soul here who hasn’t been saved or comforted by Wraith. Now, ARE YOU READY TO RETURN THE FAVOR? ARE YOU READY TO SAVE THE COMMONWEALTH’S SAVIOUR?!”

“WE ARE READY!”

“COMMONWEALTH HEAVY DRAGOONS, ADVANCE!”

After much deliberation and investigation it had been decided that Vault 88 was the most likely location of Radiance’s stronghold. A large Minutemen battalion, arrow headed by a small taskforce of the Dragoons, MacCready and Strong, led by Danse, stood just beyond the rim of Quincy Quarries finalizing the plan of attack. However, the operation was as much recon as it was rescue, due to the simple fact that there wasn’t a way to enter the vault without one’s presence known to the possible hostel force within.

Hancock had been furious when MacCready had told him to remain in Goodneighbor, “Like hell I’m going to sit at my bar while all of you are out here…”

“If I have to shoot you again, I will!”

A compromise was reached when Hancock agreed to hang back with the main force. Though, he watched the preparations like a hawk and made several of the Minutemen nervous. And he wasn’t the only one. Strong had taken to pacing back and forth through the encampment, swinging his super sledge, Smashy, while muttering murderous things to himself.

Hancock stood next to Preston with his arms crossed, tapping his foot irritably as Danse’s group disappeared into the cave that led to the vault’s entryway, “Not a bad speech. We sure nine of ‘em are going to be enough?”

Preston frowned at him, “Nine? There were only eight assigned including Strong.”

“Well, I know I have fewer brain cells than when I was a smoothskin, but I can still fucking count! There were eight suits!”

……

She could feel something. Something that wasn’t Radiance. Her mistress’s light shown so bright in her mind that normally that’s all that there was. But now, there was a smaller light. It annoyed her. Like the incessant whine of a mosquito just outside your window. You know that it can’t get in, but your skin crawls nonetheless.

She growled at it. It persisted.

She pushed it down and threw it away from her. It persisted.

She could feel something. And there was now a crack in her shield.

……

Infamy was furious.

They had fallen back when it became apparent that Wraith couldn’t be obtained by head-on force and when Radiance returned, they had found themselves a protected nook just outside of the danger zone. There they meditated: focusing all of their will onto one spot in Wraith’s protective barrier. And just when it seemed that they had a breakthrough, Danse’s team came stomping by.

“Never a moment’s peace!” They pulled their hood close and dimmed their light as much as possible to avoid being spotted. “So close. Well, I can’t follow them… we will see how this plays out. Dammit.”

……

The ferals seemed endless as Radiance sent wave after wave at the Dragoons. Because she had sentry ferals posted at the entrance, her response had been almost instantaneous. The group was equipped with rifles rather than Gatling guns to avoid accidentally mistaking Wraith for an enemy and mowing her down. MacCready hung back, spotting for them as much as possible in the near darkness, grinding his teeth in anxious frustration. Strong repeatedly called for Wraith, the desperate cries for his alpha echoed throughout the vault. Though it adding to the bedlam, no one shushed him.

The suits of Danse’s team were modded for melee and with Strong clearing multiple enemies with each great sweep of his hammer, conserving ammunition wasn’t their highest priority. As such they initially pushed forward with relative ease.

Well past the area that had been developed for settlers, the floor’s slope angle pitched sharply and as the taskforce descended their Geiger-counters began to tick with increasing rhythm.

Danse checked the map on his integrated Pip-Boy, “There’s a large, open area coming up. Don’t let them flank you.”

The tunnel banked ahead of them and the group could see an ominous glow from the chamber beyond. Rounding the corner they fanned out across the entrance in the face of a sea of powerful feral ghouls.

“STRONG SMELLS ALPHA!”

As if on cue, a group of charred and bloated glowing ones separated from the main host and rushed the taskforce. All but unseen, Wraith was in the center and using the brutal attack as a screen, she slipped behind the group and started ejecting cores. She got through half of them before they even realized she was there. Once she pulled MacCready’s core she threw it into the middle of the chamber, and as if it was a signal, the rest of the feral mob began its swift advance.

They hit the group hard. Not anticipating the loss of fusion cores was a crippling oversight. Literally. There was some attempt to close ranks as they fought to put a wall at their back. Danse, having more experience maneuvering in depleted cores than most, called out encouragement and direction as he reduced feral after feral into green goo with his plasma rifle.

Strong left the group; foraging ahead in an attempt to locate Radiance. Less concerned about securing Wraith, his goal was to kill the glowing one who had taken her away.

Wraith’s appearance was shocking: her fast-growing hair was already long enough to protrude from her helmet in a filth-ridden fringe and her once silver-grey armor was blackened by blood, offal and fire. Snarling viscously, she turned back to MacCready after throwing his core and hit him in the back of the knee before leaping into the air and double kicking him in the chest. As he crashed to the ground she straddled his breastplate and punched him repeatedly in the helmet.

Bringing his arms up to shield his head was all MacCready could manage, stunned and low-powered as he was. He had no way of engaging the tesla field now that his fusion core had been ejected and no hope of throwing her off let alone righting himself. As she swatted his defense away, his vision blurred and the metallic taste of his own blood blossomed on his tongue, an image of Duncan flashed in his mind.

Suddenly, Wraith was whisked away as a taskforce member grabbed her from behind and lifted her off of him, “MACCREADY, GET UP!” They struggled mightily with her as she braced her feet on their breastplate and tried to kick off. When it became apparent she couldn’t free herself that way she tried slamming the back of her head into their helmet. Shock caused them to loosen their grip enough for her to free her arms and she began pounding on theirs. Realizing that they could potentially kill her if they held on any tighter, they took her to the nearest corner and dropped her in it.

Her retaliation was savage. However, the team member still had their core and so was able to block her lower leg and knee attacks. Even as she rolled between their legs, they turned quickly enough to prevent her from ejecting their core. Adapting quickly, she leaped, grabbed their gorget and used the leverage to pull herself up and onto their shoulders. Hooking her fingers underneath the edge of their helm, she tried to remove it; pulling and twisting as if trying to unscrew the lid on a particularly stubborn jar of pickles. They reached up to grab her but she grabbed their arm instead. Then, throwing herself toward the ground, she was able to pull them off balance enough to cartwheel them over her and send them crashing to the cavern floor in an unceremonious heap.

I’M LOSING! I’M IN POWER ARMOR AND SHE’S GONNA KILL ME! FIGHTING WAS A POOR CHOICE!

“PIPPA,” her name ripped from him in anguished desperation, “PLEASE!”

She stopped mid-charge. She tilted her head slightly then brought her bloodied hands up and briefly rested her fingertips against her temples before slowly lifting her helmet.

“Oh… oh, no.”

Her face was greatly emaciated and she had large, deep scabs where her helm had rubbed her skin away. Her sunken eyes, made all the more pronounced by her now jutting cheekbones, were missing their normal inner light and flickered back in forth as she searched for something recognizable in the armored figure before her.

“Pippa, it’s me. I…” he choked on a sob, “I came back.”

“De… Deac…” Wraith stopped and crumpled to the ground; a syringe of tranquilizer protruding from the back of her neck.

……

Radiance’s self-preservation had won out. Retreating further into the connecting maze of sewer and metro tunnels, she was escorted by a dwindling pack of her ferals. Strong had got her in his sights and was on her like a bloodhound. Taskforce team members had made attempts to call him back but to no avail.

“Leave him be.” Danse waved their concerns away, “Let us hope, for Wraith’s sake, that he is more than up to the task.”

MacCready carried Wraith out of the vault but hesitated when it came to putting her in a cage, “I know I said this was a good idea…”

“If she wakes up and you’re still holding her she’ll tear your head off.” Deacon’s eyes were red rimed and there wasn’t a trace of his normal humor in his voice, “Put her in the cage or give her to me and I’ll do it.”

“You don’t get to touch her.” MacCready stared him down, “You. Left. Her.”

Hancock, unchecked tears streaming down his scarred cheeks, held his arms out, “Let me. I want to hold her first anyway.” He kissed her forehead and gripped her tightly to his chest, “It’s alright now, sunshine. She… she don’t hardly weigh nothin’.” His legs gave out and he collapsed to the earth; rocking her back and forth, sobbing.

Once secured in a cage, they used brahmin and moved Wraith to the basement of the former Peabody home. Now a fully equipped Minutemen safe house, it was far enough from settlements they were somewhat less concerned if Radiance was able to evade Strong and launch a counter assault.

Curie, with Piper acting as nurse, carefully cut Wraith out of her armor and bathed her. All the while making sad little gasps and sighs at her sores and how terribly bony she was.

“Oh, Blue…”

Curie hooked her up to IV fluids and was able to get a few bags into her before she woke up. Naturally, the first thing Wraith did was to pull the catheter from her arm and throw it away from her.

“Oh, Madame! Why must you always pull out my lines?!”

Wraith, her eyes wild and unfocused, snarled at her and rushed the bars. She pulled on them experimentally to the point where the metal groaned in protest, but when they proved immovable she stepped back and stood in the center of her cage. Her eyes dulled and she was motionless except for the occasional owlish blink.

Over the next several days her friends came to see her and each time a new person came into the room she would hiss, snarl and try the bars. The exception seemed to be Hancock. Instead of her usual violence, she tilted her head back and forth as if she was trying to see him better. She wouldn’t move closer to him nor let him touch her and MacCready yelled at him for putting his hand in her cage to try.

The only one who hadn’t been in to see her was Deacon. He had disappeared soon after Wraith was secured. Hancock was surprised and a little disappointed and MacCready felt guilty. The sharpshooter wondered aloud if his outburst had “run him off”.

“I doubt it. He’s gotta be skulking around here someplace. Heh, now he’s back we’re never gonna be fully rid of him, you feel me?”

Deacon hadn’t been by because he was hunting. Harkness’s report had contained a description of Infamy and unfortunately for the ghoul, Deacon placed 90% of Wraith’s condition squarely on their narrow shoulders. He had spotted them in the caverns of Vault 88 and again when they followed the rescue team to the safe house. He lost track of them soon after but now he stalked the haunted ruins of Quincy like a vengeful ghost.

Infamy was torn. They had very much wanted to follow Radiance but knew that, lacking the strength to resist her, they’d end up much the same as Wraith. They had followed the rescue caravan with no clear intention and retreated to the Quincy ruins to meditate. They settled themselves in the church there for some serious introspection. It dawned on them that they may have slipped from Atom’s path and been following the light of their own hubris instead, “Mustn’t stray like Marie did. Oh, no! Who is Wraith to you, hmm? Should I save her? Should I kill her? Hahahahaha!”

“Laugh while you can.” Deacon’s disembodied voice reached the ghoul a half second before his knife did. Although buried to the hilt, the strike pierced their bicep and wasn’t intended to be a killing blow. He wanted them to hurt.

Infamy instantly cranked up the heat and sent out a blast of radiation. This in turn caused Deacon’s Stealth Boy to malfunction and he phased back into view on his next attack which allowed Infamy to dodge. Dressed in a hazmat suit, he pursued them out the doors and into the street, taking several shots at them as they ducked into Guns Guns Guns, and cursing softly when he missed. Fully expecting an ambush, he ran in after them anyway. He blocked their knife attack with his own blade and shot them point blank in the shoulder. They sent out another blast that staggered him backward and pushed him off his feet. Rolling sideways, he tried to shoot them from the ground but his pistol misfired.

“Oh, what’s wrong? A little radiation got you down? Toy doesn’t work? Too bad.” They threw a knife and exalted when it stuck in Deacon’s blocking arm, “Should know better than to bring a gun to a knife fight!”

Their victory was short lived. Deacon pulled their weapon from his forearm as he vaulted to his feet and threw it right back at them. Using it as a distraction, he closed the distance between them. Easily ducking under their knife swing he slammed his fist into their ribs. They flinched backward, bringing a knee up before stomping down toward their opponent’s foot causing him to involuntarily back away.

Deacon knew he only had a few seconds before the glowing one could hit him with another pulse and he wanted to capitalize on the delay by staying close and inflicting as much damage, without killing them, as possible. As such he appeared to step into the ghoul’s roundhouse, but in a blur of fluid motion, blocked their hand down and brought the back of his hand back up and into their chin. Hard. This resulted in two things: one, their teeth to sliced into their tongue and two, they decided they didn’t want to fight him anymore.

“I gggan haave her!” Their irradiated blood flowed freely from their mouth and they could hardly speak around the ruin of their tongue, “I gan ring her ack.”

……

“ABSOLUTLY NOT!”

“NOT ON YOUR LIFE!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”

Danse, Preston and MacCready’s protests overlapped as they shouted at Deacon. The Railroad agent sighed and turned to Hancock, his pale blue eyes pleading.

“I think I want to stab them in the neck more than I want to…” he turned to face the glowing one directly, “How many goddamn people have you fucked over to mess with Wraith?!” He pointed at Danse, “You see him? He’s a friend of mine and you shot him in the fuckin’ face!”

Infamy’s mouth had already healed and they pouted like a child being scolded, “Oh, poo. It’s no fun to have your failures thrown back at you. Besides, I didn’t actually pull that trigger…”

Danse leveled his plasma rifle at them, “Yes, well, you damn well better believe I’ll pull this one.”

Deacon held up his hands and boldly stepped between them, “Whoa there, big dragon. We all know how tough you are.” He brought his palms together as if praying, “This could be the only way to undo what Radiance did to her. I want my friend back.” He swept his hands out to either side, including all of them, “Don’t you fellas want her back?”

Danse looked at the bandage on his arm and lowered his gun. “For the last time; it’s ‘Dragoons’. And of course we want her back. The entire commonwealth wants her back, but we have no guarantee that this villain will actually help her. There is no promise they can make that I will trust.”

“I am but a humble servant of Atom. If it is His divine will that Wraith be spared…”

“Stop. I don’t want to hear it.” MacCready put his hand on Hancock’s chest, “I can’t listen to this crap anymore. I’m gonna go and feed her and relieve the girls. Whatever you decide, I’ll follow.” He glared at Infamy as he left the room.

The ensuing argument gained volume when Piper and Curie joined in and lasted for the better part of an hour. Curie’s sticking point centered on whether or not they would be able to get an accurate reading from a memory lounger if Wraith was doped out of her mind on chems.

“We simply must learn the extent of any and all damage to her brain!”

Piper had her face in her hands, “Yeah, doc, but how are we going to do that if she’s trying to kill us the whole time?”

“I don’t want to see her strapped down, but…”

“Hell no, Garvey,” Hancock folded his arms, “the cage is bad enough.”

In the end no real decision was made beyond incarcerating Infamy and shelving the argument until Dr. Amari arrived. They radioed Fahrenheit to ask that the doctor join them and locked Atom’s Assassin in the spare cage in an outbuilding. Afterward each went to their separate corners to stew.

“Shaved th’ beard but you haven’t changed your mug yet.” Determined to not let him sneak away again, Hancock had followed Deacon outside.

“My guy’s in Boston. Hadn’t worked out a new one yet.”

“Sunglasses are off, yet yer still lying.” The ghoul took a long drag on his cigarette and blew an exceptionally large smoke ring at him, “I’m thinking you can’t bring yourself to do it.”

Deacon folded his arms and forced a smile that would have been convincing if it had reached his eyes, “Oh? Is that right? So tell me, oh enlightened one, why that is.”

He brought his hand up, index finger extended, to eye level and then slowly tilted his finger down and out to point at him, “That face belongs to someone that Wraith loves.”

Hancock might as well have shot him in the heart. He stood shocked into speechlessness.

“Now, I see that got ya.” Hancock’s eyes softened, “Things been different… well, they ain’t. You screwed yourself, son. But if she loves ya, there must be something good about ya. I gave Danse a chance and I gotta say I kinda love that kid.” He flicked his cigarette away, buffed his fingernails on his waistcoat and examined them as he continued, “You’re an asshole, but I’ll put up with ya for her sake.” He slowly brought out his knife and started juggling it; rotating and spinning around and through his fingers expertly, “You need to go and see her. Don’t try to run away again. I’ll find ya.”

Deacon stood outside on the small lawn while the sun went down. He remained until the lights in the house had been extinguished and he could hear the various snores and sighs of Wraith’s sleeping friends. He turned to leave but on his third step he stopped.

There was a lantern in the corner of the basement. Its low light cast a warm glow on the cold steel of Wraith’s cage. She had been lying in the nest of blankets she had made on the mattress they gave her, but stood up when she heard Deacon come down the stairs. She didn’t rush the now slightly bent bars, but stood and tilted her head back and forth much the same way that she did for Hancock. The bath and a few days of heartier food and clean water had done her some small amount of good and she no longer looked undead. He stared at her hair; now just long enough to curl, it appeared bronze when a ringlet caught the light.

“It’s almost like it was when you came up…” He stopped and swallowed hard before trying again, “I hate that you love me. I hate that I allowed myself to fall in love with you. I hate that I left the lean-to up on purpose, knowing that you’d find it. Knowing that you were smart enough to know what it meant. So that even though we loved each other, we would never be together. Because, how could you forgive me? But..” His breath caught as he sobbed and tears ran freely down his cheeks, “but… you did. You did. But now things were different. You thought that the tension between us was a lie. You thought that any minor flirting comment I made was just… another kind of lie. That I never imagined kissing you freely or holding you in my arms because, we were ‘just friends’. That I winced when we touched because I had Haphephobia, and not just because that I cannot allow myself to enjoy it.” He sat on the floor next to the cage and reached out to her, “Pippa, please hold my hand.”

She flinched when he said her name. And after blinking rapidly for a few minutes she open and closed her fists and then sat down facing him. She came no closer but her eyes we fixed on the bandage poking out from his sleeve.

“I thought that if I left I would stop thinking about you. But, it turns out I lie to myself more than I lie to anyone else. Harkness told me to retire, but if I can’t have you and I don’t have work then I have nothing.” He sighed deeply, climbed slowly to his feet and headed for the stairs, “Hancock was right; I screwed everything up.”

“De…”

At first he wasn’t sure he had heard her and when he turned back she was still sitting on the floor and staring at where he had been sitting, “Wishful thinking…”

“Don’t… leave...” She lifted her chin and met his eye, “Deacon… don’t… leave… me.”

......

Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see my master link post: pinned or under the tag Wraith in the Ruins. My ask is open for any questions/concerns/comments and I would love to hear from you. =^..^=

#wraith in the ruins #fallout 4 #fallout companions #fallout fanfic #fallout fan fic #fanfiction #hancock #john hancock #rj maccready #maccready #deacon #danse #curie #preston garvey #strong #piper wright

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theseerasures · 4 years

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@counterpunches submitted:

Once again there are too many to choose so I’m going to pick too many, but really it’s your fault no I won’t be taking any criticism.

how me that solvable problem

ethically sourced kid!Elsa

well this prompt feels custom made to talk about self-harm

she drops the silver chain of sound

a love sTRONGER THAN BLOOD SISTERS r u kitten me

oh hey! you picked some that actually ended up too unwieldy to keep writing in longhand

show me that solvable problem: post-Frozen II canon divergence where Arendelle sank under the sea like a good little metaphor on sins of the father. kinda your typical “but what does it actually MEAN to step into ur power, mum” thing on both Elsa and Anna’s side, with a side helping of Honeymaren/Elsa, Kristoff discovering ~his past, and uh. a lot of political talk on indigenous knowledge and politics of redress (Arendellians are refugees now, Northuldra have been settler colonized for decades, what do?? that kinda stuff)–almost too much, but ultimately a reasonable amount!

ethically sourced kid!Elsa: stems from my…uh. inability to understand the appeal of present day Elsa meeting a POST-Incident kid!Elsa when obviously her meeting a PRE-Incident kid!Elsa has so much more inherent drama. kid!Elsa steps into an idk portal and shows up at the castle in the post-Frozen II world. it’s been a few years; Anna is VERY comfortable with her current life and is expecting her first child, so um. the child version of her older sister showing up out of the blue throws her into a not-insubstantial tailspin. present!Elsa superficially is more capable of keeping it in stride, but the elephant in the room of “well do we TELL her what’s coming” just looms larger and larger until it all ends in tears, because Elsa and Anna disagree about what to do, and it ends up being their first no holds barred FIGHT, where they both accuse each other of being selfish and they’ve somehow turned into the worst parts of their parents. Kristoff, Sven, and Olaf spend most of their time basically being Bow from season 4 of She-Ra; Honeymaren meets the kid version of her now-girlfriend, immediately and justifiably is like “wow! weird vibe,” grabs Ryder and leaves. poor, poor kid!Elsa is a) kind of a hellion, pre-Incident, which everyone forgot about, and b) comes to a whole slew of horrible realizations, beginning with the fact that her parents are both dead now, Anna is being weird and closed off around her, her present self is being less weird but apparently did something HORRIBLE that no one will talk about, and it’s. it’s bad. if someone has any advice on how to tag dialogue with two characters that are the same character, just time-displaced, that would be lovely, because the closest i came was that kid!Elsa would be called Kid Elsa ala Kid Flash and obviously present!Elsa would be The Elsa (and they fight crime! jk they cry a lot and kid!Elsa ends up throwing hands with her older self, by which i mean Elsa gets a nice taste of what being shot to the heart with ice magic feels like)

well this prompt feels custom made to talk about self-harm: the prompt was “angst, loss, scar,” so. five times Elsa didn’t scar. the self-harm part comes in a few times, but the reason i approached it at all was because i imagined Elsa going through a ~phase as an adolescent where she tore through every medical text she could get her hands on to find out what’s wrong with her, and it…spiraled into thinking some dark thoughts about what would happen, since the magic mostly comes out of her hands, if she…hurt them in some way. she ends up being too chickenshit to go through with it because she’s THIRTEEN, ELSA WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK YOUR THUMB. it ballooned out into a longer meditation on Elsa grappling with her not-quite humanity, where she’s never entirely sure what rules of mortality apply to her (all of them actually! Elsa u fucking melon), going all the way to post-Frozen II, where she’s…weirdly maudlin about her death leaving no trace on her physical body, until Anna shows up. they actually end up talking about Mattias, and the ways he’s visibly aged from his portrait (Anna commissioned a new one for him)–it all ends with something about how, like. yes living does leave its marks on you but maybe Elsa should stop thinking about it in such extreme ways, and also see a therapist

she drops the silver chain of sound: another *sigh* RWBY fic, this one charting Winter and Robyn’s relationship in universe, from Academy years to post-canon. i haven’t been able to find any fic about them that responsibly handles the nuances of Winter a) being abused a lot of multi-layered ways, but also b) being complicit in war crimes and her own transformation into an instrument instead of a person, and (as of V7) STEADFASTLY COMMITTED TO IT. basically starting from the place of “Robyn doesn’t owe Winter jack shit and is Busy, it’s Winter’s responsibility to change herself,” and trying to be realistic about the ways Winter would and would not let herself change. truth kink! it’s a thing with them. a lot of talk about agency and identity, and weird detours about how Cartesian dualism is a tool of the colonizer–but honestly, you can’t make one of your main mechanics be “an extension of the soul” and not expect me to inject some woo

a love sTRONGER THAN BLOOD SISTERS r u kitten me: to answer your PS about which fires i’m embleming: i started with Sacred Stones and then moved through Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn (still have no idea what a Fire Emblem is, which i think is v sexy of me). Radiant Dawn has some BONKER-TASTIC sapphic moments–your standard “i’m queen but i’m shy” archetype has a ladyfriend who is the CAPTAIN OF HER GUARD. Captain gets taken hostage, gets her hair lopped off (…by a professional hairdresser i guess, since this is what she looks like after) and sent to Shy Queen in a VERY STANDARD “i have your precious” moment and then has to debate over saving the Captain or the Kingdom and it’s just. so

anyways of course the extreme gayness goes blithely unacknowledged for the rest of the game, and the epilogue has the AUDACITY to say that their bond was “stronger than blood sisters,” which is…fine! it’s fine. the fic is mostly just about actually ADDRESSING the intimacy that they have through some hair washing.

PS: i’ve started Awakening, which a) looks promising re: knowing what a Fire Emblem, and b) has caused me to start a new WIP called “NO YOU’RE NOT YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY LAURA BAILEY”

PPS: appreciate the recurrence of Standard Nintendo Plot Pattern Sigma (gender fuckery to stop a bad time thing), which i THINK is what’s happening in Awakening–no one tell me if i’m right tho!!! i wanna keep speculating about whether ~~~Marth is my daughter or my grandma’s niece or Taylor Swift’s second cousin

#self harm tw #just in caseys #submission

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kurenaiwataru · 5 years

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Victor Grantz Observations

I’ve been playing Victor Grantz the Postman for 4 days now, and I’ve decided to compile some observations and headcanons into a convenient post for my own benefit. If anyone else finds this interesting, that’s cool, but this will be mainly for my own personal use. Check the Read More for my humongous paragraphs filled with Victor Grantz observations and headcanons. They’ll probably show up in my fics at some point, whenever I get around to writing again. Until then, enjoy all of this nonsense.

1. Firstly, Victor is a lot quieter than the other survivors. Yes, he pants and moans and makes ghastly noises from time to time, but on the whole, he keeps his mouth shut. Quite literally. The voice recorded for him, in addition to being extremely soft and light, has mainly an array of muffled throat noises to pair with the fact that his mouth is sewn shut. Even when he gets sent off on the rocket chair, he doesn’t scream but lets out a muffled cry. It’s very cute and I do enjoy it.

2. Victor is a genuinely good boy. Despite how he seems to not enjoy people in face-to-face settings, he has a deep rooted belief in the morality and goodness of people, finding that humanity’s moral goodness is merely hidden beneath the veneer each person shows to the world. This is in contrast to how Aesop views people, where he would rather interact with a dead thing rather than a living person. In that way, Victor has a charm that reminds me of Kurenai Wataru from Kamen Rider Kiva. I mentioned this on Twitter, and I still hold to it now that I’ve had so much time with the character. Wataru was also one to think that humanity was depraved and unclean, yet he believed in the hidden goodness of mankind and fought for them as Kiva. That is also Victor’s charm, only with handwritten letters instead of vampire armor and a demonic horse motorcycle.

3. Victor’s empathy shines through via his in-game actions. One of his traits is that he is empathetic, and I feel it whenever I play as him. I’m sure it’s because I’m a weirdo, but whenever I send off a letter, I hope it arrives safely. When Wick barks to indicate the letter has been delivered, relief washes over me and I feel so much joy that it was received safely. I’ll often get thanked for the letters, which isn’t necessary but greatly appreciated. It makes me feel like I’m doing a good job, even when I’m not utilizing the benefits of the buff. And Wick the Post Dog is very cute and hardworking. I always feel bad when he can’t deliver a letter or I send him off and it’s too late.

4. Speaking of Wick, here are some observations about him. He’s a weird mix of the seer’s owl and the wildling’s boar. When you use owl sight, the observed character can’t see the owl until it’s needed, which is how Wick is sometimes. Wick isn’t seen unless he’s needed, making him invisible until you’ve decided on the letter you wish to send. Once you give Wick a letter, he will appear visibly on the field like the boar and you can crash into him if you’re not looking. I think hunters can hit Wick, too, but I’ve never seen it since I give Wick letters and don’t see him until I send another letter. The only other times I see him are if we happen to be running in the same direction or if I accidentally crash into him while we’re going opposite directions. He’s very small and hard to see if you’re wearing The Embrace, since it makes him black. I’ve been using Victor’s base skin since Friday after crashing into Wick several times during one match. He’s a lot easier to see when he’s a bright yellow dog. Darned good doggo, 13/10, would pet infinitely.

5. From here on out, it’s headcanons. While playing Victor for… 4 hours… yesterday, I started to wonder what exactly was inside the envelopes he sends out. I then envisioned him writing each letter by hand before his matches, making sure he has a surplus to send to people. Sometimes he gets so excited about how well he’s written a letter that he wishes to read it again, which is why he opens letters surreptitiously during matches, as though to remind himself of what good writing skills he has.

Anyway, after thinking about that, I decided to try my hand at writing such letters given the letter types he has available as prompts:

Urgent Letter

Farewell Letter

I am writing you this to inform you that I am leaving. The time we spent together was beautiful, but it had to end. To part ways is a normal experience, as people ebb and flow from our lives like the tide. Each new phase of the moon brings new people for us to experience and love, just as it takes people away, and I now must away with the tide.

Should we see each other again someday, I hope that you will remember the happiness we felt. There is no malice in this parting, for farewells are hope for a bright future apart. May time be gentle as the waves of change flow over you.

Victor

Tranquility Letter

I hope this letter finds you well, for now there is peace, though its tranquility I know is fleeting. Time will find us, and when it does, hardship will prevail again. The waltz of time dances around us, and we are in one upward beat of its musical rhythm. The next beat will fall upon us, and time will rage with its horrors again. Yet now we can ease ourselves into this momentary peace.

Do not think to darkness. Do not think to tragedy. If famine and war and violence befall us, we will be together in it. We will persevere and strive towards living, to find that beat of tranquility again.

Time dances on to its own beat, and we can join its dance if we are surefooted.

Be safe and at peace,

Victor

Bravery Letter

Rise up, my friend and ally, and throw yourself into the fray! You are strong and brave beyond compare; have confidence in yourself and we shall not lose. Fight on, brethren! Victory shall be in our grasp should we merely strive to obtain it. Reach out your hand and grasp victory! Hold it firm in your hand and never let go. We must survive to another day. Be like the sun, rising and setting in glory with each turning of the Earth. Do not think to failure. Do not think to the endless bitter outcomes. We can win the day.

Stay safe, my dear friend and ally.

Victor

Inspiring Letter

Have you ever looked to the sky and thought of its brilliance? On a summer day, bright and warm, we are treated to bountiful warmth and beauty. Each day sprawls before us in splendid colors, radiating their joy endlessly. Everything is verdant and rich, succulent in its glory each day. Even in rain and gloom, colors shine to warm even a dull day.

That is you. You are the summer. When you smile, birds sing of its radiance and send those songs to the wind. You are the brightest and the warmest. You are brilliant in intelligence and warm in kindness. You exude life and color to all who see you, even on days when you lack the confidence to shine. I have seen you shine, and you are stunning.

Shine for everyone. Be brilliant and bright. You are resilient and true willful. Use that willfulness to your advantage and become a beacon in the dark. The path you forge blazes only for you. Cleave the darkness before you and shine towards a brighter tomorrow.

Ever faithful under your light,

Victor

Hope Letter

Do you believe in anything? Do you believe in God? Do you believe in science? Do you believe in the morality of humanity at all? Belief is what drives us to be so resilient and adaptive. We drive ourselves toward betterment because we simply believe that we can be better. What an incredible drive we have!

Tantamount to this drive is a simple belief in hope. A hope is like a wish, but more tangible and real. A hope can be so simple. I hope that you will see me. I hope that you will smile for me. I hope that you will say my name. Such simple desires can keep us motivated for short intervals. On a day that drudges on, one can merely hope that it will be lunchtime soon. On a day when the air is cold and the sky is dark, one can hope that the clouds will part and bring the sun back to smile on us. Hope isn’t as lofty as wishing. I could wish for something unfathomable, such as a giant swimming pool filled of ice cream and chocolate pudding, but wishes rarely come true. With hope, there is a flicker of reality in them and with enough hard work that hope can be obtained.

I hope that you have belief in hope. I am sending you this in the hope that you receive it. I am sending you this in the hope that it will aid you in some way. I know not how, but if it is helpful to you in anyway, that is all I hope for.

I hope to see you again. I hope that we will share a knowing smile between us. I hope that you will say my name and that the word is filled with your gratitude that I helped you, even if my aid was so small.

Those are my sincerest hopes and I have put all of my belief into each one.

Stay safe, my friend, and return to me.

Victor

These are just quick samples that I whipped up, but I’d like to think that he is feverishly writing, knowing that his letters inspire hope in the hearts of those he sends them to. I feel like it’s a lovely sentiment that he endeavors to bring just a modicum of inspiration to his teammates, even if he fails in the match. Especially if he’s sending out the permanent buffs. That’s his last wish, essentially. He wants you to succeed where he has failed because he has faith that you can triumph.

Those screenshots are mine btw. If you want to see them all in tweet format, you can find them on my Twitter account. Feel free to RT if you think it’ll help someone.

6. Victor is quiet, meek, and a nervous wreck, but he has a heart of gold. Much like Aesop, he’s shy and not the most forthright with his emotions. He hides himself behind a mask of silence, as I enumerated in How Do You Explain Love? I wouldn’t say that he’s afraid of intimacy, but more that he worries that intimacy may shatter his worldview. I doubt that having his world be shattered in such a way would leave Victor in a poor situation. He already has belief in the goodness of humanity, as witnessed by his introductory video, yet he could be left shaken by the thought that not all people wear such reprehensible masks. To know that there are people who wear their honesty plain as the nose on their face would be a shock to him, but I think he would readily accept it. Despite how he hasn’t experienced much kindness in his life, he’s always open to giving kindness to anyone he meets.

7. And I believe that that kindness could be extended even to hunters. Though they pursue him daily for death, he likely understands that it’s merely their job and laments not being able to give them letters as he can for his allies. Perhaps if the hunters got warm, heartfelt letters like the survivors do, then they would not be so cruel and heartless. He knows that many of the hunters were human once, and he would likely want to appeal to the remainder of their humanity by offering them comfort in the form of a beautiful letter. A wonderfully crafted letter can bring even the strongest men to tears, and I’m certain that Victor would feel that the hunters are deserving of that kindness despite how terrifying and terrible they are.

…Okay, I think I’m done. Sorry this is so long. If you see me in game, I’ll try my best to be a good letter fairy, delivering hope and inspiration to all!

#identity v #victor grantz #idv postman

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sealer-of-wenkamui · 4 years

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I got another good bolt gem and went to fight Laurence! I started with the church pick, but ended up switching to cane and it worked a lot better (also my visceral did more) It turns out accursed brew could stagger him with one hit to the head, so I ended up starting the fight with it each time

It took.... forever... I did it in one night but how many hours..... this is what I get for being only level 60 something.....

First third is easy, he always starts with the same attack twice, and its readable enough, and similar to the cleric beast

Second third is the fiery death hell zone in which his moves become more desperate and the combos all start the same only for him to fling himself around and kill you.... I died MANY times here

Third phase is....... easy. Like really easy compared to everything else. It was the same the previous two times as well.... Got him the second time I got to this part.... its just sticking to the left (smaller claw) and staying close and hitting him. The only bad attacks are the slams/flailing.... lava isn’t much problem, just let him circle around you....

Still the second hardest boss just because of that second part.... Ludwig is pretty hard too but I thiiiink Laurence might be a bit worse.... maybe. On NG+ he certainly was

I really like him as a character though so I love that you get to see him in the DLC, and his theme is GORGEOUS, I love organs...if only you could hear it....

Fishing hamlet is really easy with arc build, everything is weak to fire, and Brador is weak to all sorts of arc damage too.... I got a good look at the buildings under the sea this time (The nightmare I suppose, since you see the snail woman fall into it)

And then....it was time for the hardest boss of all who reminded me exactly why that’s the case....Orphan of Kos.... this fight was HELL as a pure arc build, there’s nothing that he’s weak against, fire is just the best option of the three..... It took me several days... which has never happened before, the previous longest time it took me to beat a boss was the first time I fought OoK, at 3 days..... but this time I was much lower leveled and arc.... my viscerals did nothing.... I leveled a bit more (to 75) and the biggest problem I think was my blood gems (8.4 and 10.5 fire) so I sped through central pthumeru and got lower pthumeru, and happened to find two fire enemies, one that dropped a cursed 16.5 fire gem that boosted my fire attack from 168 to 190..... and tonight I got another 16.5 with a workable curse and that did the trick..... I’m SO RELIEVED.......

Runes I used were clawmark and the two metamorphosis ones, as well as radiance

I’m also a MASTER of phase 1 orphan. I only used 4 vials there. Then I used 16 in phase 2 (hell phase) and you can tell where I start panicking because I’m so close.... those multiple slam attacks are the real killer.....

Phase 1 is basically stay close and dodge to the right when he attacks, or stay far and try and get him to do the jump. Always lure him into the water. Backstabs are key here even with arc. The jump you just step forward (not dodge) and stab, when he swings the placenta for a long time after a scream you can walk around and backstab, the one arc circle you can walk around and stab, and sometimes the two handed slam you can get one off with too. During the transformation, if you time it right you can get one, I got better at this as time went on (and on... and on....)

Phase 2 is really just GOOD LUCK!!!!!! And try and spend as little time here as possible! Transformed cane for range, then just... uh. Try and get a hit or two in whenever, its easiest during the lightning attack before you have to run.... I found being close and dodging to the right sorta worked..... he’d sometimes have his back turned then... but not long enough for a stab.... I panicked at the end and started trying to blacksky eye off the last bit of health (it doesn’t work great but...) but what did it was when he used the lightning and I could run and get the last hits in even if the lightning hit me.... IM SO RELIEVED ITS DONE........

I love how the ending narration echos the words of the man at the beginning... a bottomless curse a bottomless sea, accepting of all that there is and can be...

I tried out the parasite too, and while I like being able to use tentacles like that, its far too slow for my tastes so....hm. Also I like seeing my pretty face

Oh and I got up to 99 insight! The best number to have, though I don’t have blood rocks available... I bought bone ash though... And I’m sure this will be fine for me, who always wears the Choir set as I’m about to go into Mensis... (sedative time...)

But since I just beat OoK I’m feeling invincible.... I mean who’s gonna kill me after orphan? Micolash? I think not.

#bloodborne blogging #i actually didn't have the choir set for these two fights because i was maximizing defense #because they're the two hardest in the game and I was SUFFERING #but now...#oh im close to the end though.... and with this I'll have the platinum too...

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poetry-yet-bitter-blog · 6 years

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The Durian: Symbol Of Mystique

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You will only know what's inside the durian after you pried open the fruit and feast your eyes on the fleshy yellowish pulp. 0 of 8192 characters usedPost CommentNo HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Since many of the durian trees are very old and very tall, nets are erected beneath the trees to catch the ripe fruits and prevent them from splitting on impact with the hard ground. 22. When two hippos are about to fight, they point their anuses at each other, wag their stubby little tails vigorously, and flick feces at each other. Compared to the era of our parents' childhoods -- wedged between two world wars and chastened by The Great Depression -- ours was a lucky time to be a kid. Some new durian-lovers compared the durians to "cupcakes with icing on top". Actually this encounter with the durian is just the beginning of a truly intriguing adventure of discovery. 48. The English invented football (soccer in America) when kicking around the heads of slaughtered Danish invaders. Women invented all of them! Let me share an experience here. Updated on November 23, 2014 Pete Michner moreContact Author Here we go! A play on a word perhaps? Thanks so much for coming along and getting the answer with all of us. So informative. Thanks again! Thanks RunAbstract - nice to meet you by the way and I am already a fan/follower! Google is no longer a mere search engine! 1. Disconnect anger from violence. I just don't understand their attitudes anymore. Plus it is fun! LOL LOL a vibrating lower body . I do not refer to my list as a "bucket list". Arthouses international Co.,Ltd. was established in 1976. which has long estabished good reputation for manufacturing high quality of products exported globally. 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tipsycad147 · 3 years

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Real Love Spells for Modern Witches! 17 Spells That Work

Love spells can be a really powerful source of self-empowerment. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, and loving someone deeply gives you courage. These words were true when Chinese philosopher Lao-Tze coined them – over two thousand years ago – and still ring true today.

Some of us would do anything to recover a lost love or to attract someone new, but it can be hard to know where to start [psssst! Start here!]. Past and present can get in the way, certain experiences make it hard just to try and move on. But spiritual healing is easier than you think. These simple love spells are a free DIY option that you can use at home to promote love in all aspects of your life. 💏

On this page, you’ll find:

Do Love Spells Work?

Free Love Spells

Tips for Casting Better Love Spells

FAQ

Spells to Attract Love

Spells to Forget an Ex

Love Spells For Couples

Reconciliation Spells: Bring Back a Lover

Love Spells for a Specific Person

Do Love Spells Work?

Love spells have existed since the beginning of civilization, when Witchcraft was used to increase fertility or to favor marriages and relationships. This type of Magic was usually performed by shamans and healers. It was an early form of religion and science. This experimental skill has been passed down for hundreds of generations.

If you have never worked with spells of Witchcraft before, here’s a quick guide that will get you started:

The most effective love spells that work usually involve love chants, prayer, mantras, or affirmations that reinforce our confidence. Before manifesting anything in our reality, we must first believe and feel that this is possible, that we deserve it. To cast a love spell, you have to be ready and open to receive that kind of love. ❤

The ritual aspects of the spell are less important, but they will help you to get into the right mindset. So prepare an atmosphere with dim lights or candles, and a silent place to work without interruptions. Let the energy flow through you and concentrate on your desire. If you haven’t already, read this lesson on the First 5 Steps to Becoming a Real-Life Witch.

Bookmark this site and especially the free love spell recipes. Come back later and print them out or copy them to your Book of Shadows. All spells on this page can easily be cast at home, even if you are a Beginner Witch. You can use Magic for:

Channeling self-love and confidence

Improving a romantic relationship

Recovering a lost love

Attracting someone closer to you

Tips for Casting Better Love Spells

Here are some keys to the proper casting of spells, so if you are a beginner and would like to practice Witchcraft at home, you can maximize the effectiveness of your rituals without having to pay for a professional spellcaster.

1. Clearly define an intention

One of the basic rules for doing any type of Magic work is to understand exactly what your desires are. The clearer your goals and intentions are, the easier it will be for you to materialize those goals and get good results in your spiritual work.

When casting any spell, your thoughts must be directed towards your goal like a laser beam, without any interference. 🎯 Love spells that work best for beginners are those that focus on changing your outlook on life and improving yourself, instead of trying to change what others feel.

2. Choose the right spell

If there are several spells that could fit your need, then choose the one that immediately draws your attention or that you liked at first sight.

Don’t overthink, rely on your intuition and keep your confidence levels high. If you like candles, cast a spell that uses candles. If you like to work with herbs, crystals, or any ingredient in particular, use that ingredient as much as you can. Witches tend have affinities to certain elements because they symbolize a connection to an aspect of Nature or the Universe. With the help of these symbols, a true Witch can manifest anything they want. Find the ingredients and spells that speak to you personally, experiment and have fun! 🍀

If you’ve never cast a spell before, start with easy spells, or look for one that seems simple enough for you. Don’t have big expectations for your first rituals. It’s a slow learning progress and little by little you will become more confident.

3. Practice through trial and error

If a spell does not work for you, wait for a month and re-cast it. Use your intuition to try and find the reason why it didn’t work. If you felt good while casting the spell but you didn’t get any results, it’s preferable that you try casting the same spell again instead of moving to a new one. It takes practice. 💪

Do not combine a love spell with another trying to enhance it. Unless you are experienced, your attention will be dispersed and the spellwork will become useless. It is much more effective to focus all your energy and attention in one goal. Wait until one full moon cycle has passed (about 28 days) before casting another spell. You can still perform, for example, baths and cleanses for unblocking and opening paths. There are plenty of other daily rituals and meditations you can still perform.

If you are a beginner, it’s best to following a written spell step by step, without changing anything. More advanced practitioners should adapt and write their own spells.

4. Give thanks every day

Give thanks because the people and circumstances that you have asked for are already on their way. Allow yourself to daydream and remember what your goal is every morning. Use the Daily Ritual Page to practice devotionals, positive affirmations and mantras that will keep you in the right mood. 🙏 Thought creates reality: Watch your thoughts!

5. Work with the Universe

The Full Moon and all other lunar phases have energies that can enhance your Magic. Full Moon love spells harness the symbolism and power of the lunar radiance to amplify your intent. Find more Full Moon Spells to Workout the Witch in you.

🌒🌕🌘

Remember: There are 8 lunar phases and we can group them into 4 stages: New Moon, Waxing Moon, Full Moon, and Waning Moon. If you’re new to Moon Magic, read this post now:

When you make a petition or a request to any entities or to your Higher Self, pretend that you already have what you are asking for and that you are just giving thanks for it. Never say “Help me because I’m tired and lonely” or anything like that. Focus on positive thinking, which naturally attracts positive energies. For example, say: “Thanks for filling my life with love and joy”.

The Universe will always interpret your call as a reaffirmation. Whatever you have now, you will get more. Try giving thanks because the man or woman of your dreams is already in your life. Try to feel like you are already surrounded by love and happiness, because you deserve it. Part of learning how to make love spells is visualizing yourself being embraced, loved and letting those emotions surface. ❤

6. Be patient

Don’t let doubts and fears take away your Power. Don’t talk with others about the spells you are casting or about your petitions to the Universe. They will see for themselves when it happens. For now, be patient. Let the energies do their job and trust them. Work every day towards your goal and do not hurry.

7. Support your desires with action

Besides what’s in your head and in your heart, you should be doing things that tell the Universe what you want. Use your new boost of confidence to go out and become more active. Make friends. Establish contacts and open up to new opportunities.

The manifestation of what you want comes much more quickly when your words are supported by your deeds. Do what you say you will do. Show the Universe that you are a powerful creator by being what you say you want to be. ☀

Never get carried away by envy, jealousy or negative emotions when it comes to casting spells. I wish you luck in all of your love spells, and remember that you deserve the best, right now.

1. Are these spells of Black Magic?

Answer: They can be, depending on your intentions.

If your wishes entail tampering with another person’s freedom, then that can be considered Black Magic. In other words, spells or rituals of Magic that aim to change someone’s free will or that might affect it as a side effect are undoubtedly rituals of Black Magic.

If your intentions and methods aren’t evil, then you shouldn’t worry. Spells are not “bad” or “evil” by themselves. Evil can exist only in a person’s heart and intentions. When you chant a spell, invoke a certain deity, or contact any spirits, you and your Higher Self know exactly what you are doing. If you have the wrong intentions, or if you are seeking to cause harm or manipulate something that you should not be fiddling with, then it is your own subconscious that will make your spell backfire. Develop your intuition so you can read your own intentions better. Practice your Magic safely, click here to learn about Safety when Casting Spells.

2. How long do love spells take to work?

Answer: Love spells act on people, behaviors, and emotions, which can be very erratic. This is why there is no exact number or mathematical formulas you can use to know this. In general, you can wait to see results within one full moon cycle, but remember that the harder your goal is, the longer your spell will take to work.

If after 28 days ⌛ you haven’t seen any signs of manifestation, you can cast the spell again. Remember to keep realistic goals: If you are looking for free love spells that work in minutes, you should know that such a thing cannot be guaranteed by anyone because Love has its own timing and patience is key.

Avoid scams! Do not trust any spellcaster that promises immediate results or “love spells that work overnight”.

3. How do these love spells work?

Answer: The simplest love spells work by the Law of Attraction. That’s essentially you, your faith and your thoughts. In a more advanced stage of your path, you will learn how to work with deities, spirits and other entities.

These love spells work by creating and raising scpecific energies that sometimes can’t flourish naturally due to blockages, fear, sadness or insecurity. Spells of Magic can make it easier for a person to open their heart and receive, but also give, positive and lovesome emotions.

4. I don’t have any experience casting spells, can I still try them?

Answer: Of course you can. Click here to learn How to Cast Spells When you’re New. Many people visit this website searching things like how to do voodoo love spells, but if you don’t have any experience working with metaphysical energies it can be hard to make love spells work simply following the steps in a recipe. Read as much as you can, and start with easy devotionals and guided meditations.

5. I am LGBTQ, can I do these rituals?

Answer: Yes. All of these spells should work whether you are a man, woman, straight, LGBTQ, or however you identify. You also don’t need to go searching for “gay love spells”, use them and know that wherever there can be love, Magic will help. Work on your rituals until you feel confident enough and you will be able to modify the spells to fit your needs and all your personal circumstances.

6. Can you cast a love spell for me?

Many people are searching for “free love spells cast for you“. The reality is that they are looking for an easy way out of their situation. If you want real change in your love life, you will have to put in the work and make some real changes in your attitude and behavior.

Even if a spellcaster could cast a love spell that worked instantly for you, the results wouldn’t last long because you haven’t changed yourself. The problems will eventually resurface, leaving you back to where you started. Casting a love spell that works for real means investing your own time and energy, making your own decisions, and evaluating the progress you make all the way.

If you feel stuck or can’t make any progress. it’s recommended that you talk to an expert who will be able to address the specifics of your situation.

https://spells8.com/real-love-spells/

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tothelasthoursofmylife · 7 years

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Kuroshitsuji Tarot (Minor Arcana)

And here’s the Minor Arcana!

Unlike the Major Arcana, I made sure to put in more side characters. (Ha!) But that is not the only difference - for quite a lot of cards, I thought certain parts from the manga were more fitting than characters. I linked them to the first page of the particular part because they often span quite a lot of pages so that you know what I mean with my card titles. Sometimes, I linked the titles to two different scenes.

Just like with the Major Arcana, the meanings may not be 100% accurate.

To the... Major Arcana of my life

SUIT OF WANDS

1. Ace [The Return of the Earl]

success, assertiveness, starting something new, creativity, passionate phase

2. Two [To Be a Butler; To Be an Earl]

planning phase, stamina, approaching something with serenity and care, no desist from goal/aim

The rest is under the cut.

3. Three [N. McMillan]

a positive view of the future, turn towards new goals/aims, solid fundament

4. Four [The Easter Hunt]

peace, stability, joyful time, festive activities

5. Five [Grelle Sutcliff]

challenges, standing up to the opposition

6. Six [Sapphire Owl]

victory, fame, glory, enjoying of popularity, success despite opposition

7. Seven [The United Kingdom (Queen Victoria & John Brown & Charles Phipps & Charles Grey (& Cecily))]

fierce oppositions, permanent defence, enmity everywhere

8. Eight [“I finally... found you... !!”]

change in limbo/hanging in the air, an event impends, good change

9. Nine [Sieglinde Sullivan & Elizabeth Midford]

worries, bravery, anxiety for existence, contrarious instance

10. Ten [Our!Ciel Phantomhive]

worries, depression, carrying a big burden

11. Page [Gregory Violet]

a passionate person, but doesn’t commit oneself to someone, youthful/juvenile mischief, heart-breaker, adventurous, vanity

12. Knight [Herman Greenhill]

a militant person, needs an opposition to feel comfortable, looking for conflicts, hard shell, soft core

13. Queen [Lawrence Bluewer]

a very confident person who likes to command, support of family and friends; if you accept her and her ways she will always support you; if you disappoint her she will get vengeful

14. King [Edgar Redmond]

imperial person, noble and polite behaviour; public morals, in the case of rivalry he can, however, forget any civility, strong assertiveness; very tolerant, however, if you defy his ideals he won’t be merciful

SUIT OF PENTACLES

1. Ace [Lau & Ran-Mao]

visible success, material well-being, wealth, plenty

2. Two [Irene Diaz]

mobility, flexible, give-and-take, no problems with vicissitude of life

3. Three [Rian Stoker]

recognition, successful test/trial, proud of own handiwork

4. Four [Azzurro Vanel]

compartmentalisation, abruption, an exaggerated security requirement

5. Five [Joker & Beast & Dagger & Doll & Jumbo & Wendy & Peter]

crisis, loss, poverty, dependency on charity

6. Six [Looking Different]

tolerance, lordliness, benevolence, justice and helpfulness

7. Seven [Tanaka (OR Undertaker)]

patience, thoughtful decisions

8. Eight [Vincent Phantomhive & Diedrich (von Weizsäcker)]

erection phase, developing of a solid headstone

9. Nine [The Blue Miracle/The Miracle of the Sapphires]

a sudden stroke of luck, unexpected wealth, overabundance

10. Ten [Arthur Conan Doyle]

wealth, plenty, stability, wages of work

11. Page [Joanne Harcourt OR Grelle Sutcliff]

a generous person, loves money, but isn’t aware of its value now, loves wealth and security, but has to learn how to get them

12. Knight [Cheslock OR Undertaker]

a persistent person, knows exactly what he wants and would do everything to accomplish his goal/aim, schedules everything, but has to remember than reaching his goals/aims isn’t everything

13. Queen [Edward Midford OR William T. Spears]

an objective person, reliable and indulgent, down-to-earth, loves sensual pleasures but isn’t extravagant

14. King [Clayton OR Ronald Knox]

a successful person, good business sense, values the good sides of life, but isn’t averted towards work, helpful but doesn’t let someone use him

SUIT OF CUPS

1. Ace [Angelina Dalles & Vincent Phantomhive & Rachel Dalles]

luck, love, mercy

2. Two [Etiquette Lessons]

it’s time for a new love, beginning of friendship or love, a new acquaintance, meeting someone new

3. Three [The End of the Tournament]

lightheartedness, festivity, cheerfulness, having a reason to celebrate, celebration

4. Four [He came back.]

a new and unnoticed chance, not noticing something good, not wanting to let go of everything you already have/remaining in the present/remaining everything like always

5. Five [“Father... Mother...”]

loss, melancholy, grief, pain

6. Six [Doll/Freckles]

infantile joy, openness towards other people without ulterior motive

7. Seven [Nightmare Sequence]

illusions, living in a dreamworld, good imagination

8. Eight [Sieglinde Sullivan & Wolfram Gelzer]

departure for the unknown, leaving everything behind, a shift in the direction of your life

9. Nine [Harold West Jeb & Mina OR Maurice Cole]

swank, greed, possessive mentality, stinginess

10. Ten [Aleistor Chamber, the Viscount of Druitt]

hopeful future, everything’s fine, collective luck

11. Page [Edward Midford]

a witty/keen/spirited person, good in flirting, no serious feelings, can capture everybody’s hearts

12. Knight [Elizabeth Midford]

a romantic person, honest heart, idealist, would do everything for the person he/she loves but can become quite jealous

13. Queen [Francis Midford]

an empathetic person, calm, understanding, listens to everybody(’s problems)

14. King [Alexis Leon Midford]

a profound person, great life-experience but isn’t embittered, believes in the good aspects of persons, puts mercy before the law

SUIT OF SWORDS

1. Ace [The Solution]

clarity, insight, understanding, sense of justice, analytic mind

2. Two [“I, for one, cannot return to that side!”]

doubts, insecurity, not being able to make decisions

3. Three [She’s... gone.]

painful experience, love-sickness, a feeling of guilt, bad conscience

4. Four [Radiance]

hold-up, stagnation, withdrawal from life for thinking, meditation

5. Five [Real!Ciel Phantomhive]

furtiveness, cleverness, evilness

6. Six [“Does he mean... me?”]

worries, unwound future, reluctant departure for the unknown

7. Seven [The Revelation]

fraud, malice, anxiety for direct confrontation, being able to give someone a false sense of security and then to deceive them

8. Eight [William T. Spears]

only being able to feel comfortable in regulated activities/process/procedure, anxiety for taking risks

9. Nine [Our!Ciel Phantomhive]

nightmares, unsolved problems, sleepless nights, worries, being depressed because of something

10. Ten [Elizabeth Midford & Soma Asman Kadar]

optimism, indestructible hope (even if everything has turned against you), recommencement after a painful end

11. Page [Real!Ciel Phantomhive]

challenging person, loves to provoke others, bragging, anxiety for serious confrontations, shallow

12. Knight [Our!Ciel Phantomhive]

a brash person, can be very cynic, militant, loves serious confrontations, fights eagerly, unstoppable

13. Queen [Rachel Phantomhive]

a careful person, makes wise decisions and only makes them after she regarded every side, sense of justice, doesn’t make decisions based on sympathy but on facts

14. King [Vincent Phantomhive]

a sagacious person, very intelligent, a quick thinker, loves brainy conversations

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httpsung · 8 years

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I’m no Tinkerbell

pairing: reader x jungkook

genre: fantasy, fairy au

word count: 3,364

next: pt.2, pt.3 , pt.4

note: this is something that had been started months ago and I feel proud of myself for actually getting it posted now. This piece is definitely open for continuation. Inspired by a favorite manga. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Every child has an idol whether it’s the local fireman, a robot from the future, or simply their mother or father. . .

Every child had at least one idol growing up and yours just so happened to be a cute fairy by the name of Tinker Bell. You were first introduced to the fictional character when you were just able to sit up as a baby. It was a breezy summer morning, the wind causing the crisp white curtains to flutter gracefully in the living room while the television displayed colorful visuals that you had never seen before in your little life. You sat situated on the lap of your mother while the famous Disney film Peter Pan played. Your mother’s delicate voice spoke of each character that appeared on the screen, none of them getting your attention like the small blonde with the leafy green dress.

Your tiny hands extended forward, eyes glowing as if you could just grab the small woman from the television and when you realized you couldn’t your wee lips jutted into a pout, eyebrows crinkling as you cried. From that moment on your mother saw the connection between you and the little fairy. When you were three your room was covered from head to toe in all things Peter Pan, the star being Tinker Bell herself and when you were four you met her at a theme park only to be told from your snotty best friend at age six, that the one you met wasn’t even real. It didn’t cause doubt; you shoved her and told her no matter what you would meet the real one soon. It never happened though, even when you hatched out a plan to catch the tooth fairy, to get her to show you to Tinkerbell, your eyes met nothing but sleep against your soft pillow with money appearing under it the next morning.

As you grew older it was sad to say that your love for fairies had begun to diminish, the words of your friend from long ago sticking to your mind that they just weren't real.

Light snoring could be heard floating among the shadows of his room, his body buried in crisp sheets of cream illuminated by moonlight. A faint noise from a distant window made his body stir but not awaken, pouty lips filtering out soft grumbles. "Oh, light be thy anchor, oh stars be still. Invite thee malice and wish him ill..." A voice loud and vaguely familiar interrupted his dreams, bed glowing from underneath as a strange symbol formed around it. "The time has come Jungkook!" Maniac laughter could be heard but not seen as the boy who once laid sleeping tried to hurry away from the strange happenings in his bedroom.

"Jungkook this way!"

He took the hand of his blond companion who appeared and hastily led him away from the disturbance. "Jin... what's going on?!" The boy questioned, trying to steady his footing as the two careened down the corridors of his castle. "Your brother is trying to cast a spell, Yoongi is up to no good this time." The two came to a halt at a dead end, stopping in front of an old mirror. "As your caretaker, I have to keep you safe." Jin murmured.

He touched the mirror's glass and it emitted a soft glow of light. "Spread your wings prince and please pass through. When Yoongi has been caught, I will come to get you." Jin pushed the younger male forward, Jungkook looking back to him with a worried gaze.

"Hurry!" Jin urged him and Jungkook did as he was told, a pair of translucent wings emerging from the blades of his shoulders as he phased into the mirror, losing himself in a deep darkness.

Sunlight filtered through the blinds of your window, grazing over your skin and urging your lids to peel back to get a good look at the morning that awaited you. You stretched your arms above your head, relishing in the feeling of loosening your limbs. A light sigh escaped you as your alarm clock blared on the nightstand next to you, this was the second time you awoke before it could wake you, and you wished you could get the back the few extra minutes to sleep, though it wouldn’t matter much. You reached over to silent the chimes from the clock, your eyes opening to stare at the ceiling of your room. Getting up was always tough, you had to convince yourself that sleeping a little longer would only result in you missing a college lecture or two, though the dream you had of your childhood sent comforting feelings inching throughout your body.

"Just get up..." You murmured to yourself, your voice groggy as you rubbed your eyes and yawned.

"Yeah get up, you don't want to be a lazy woman, do you?" A faint voice spoke back and you were sure it was in your head. "I'm not a lazy woman... though there's nothing wrong with lazing around a few hours more." You sighed.

"Pathetic." There was that voice again which made you frown this time, glancing down at your chest.

You noticed a small boy sitting atop of your breast, your eyes blinking several times in confusion. Your mind wondered if what you were seeing was real as the little person stared back at you with a raised brow. His hair was a split between brown and pink and he wore odd clothing that you've never seen before on an action figure or doll. He was a doll, right?

"Can I help you?" He spoke again and you could feel the faint poke as he reached out to lay a hand on your breast. You sat up quick in a panic causing the tiny guy to roll forward.

"What the hell?!" You freaked, holding your hands up as if you were afraid to touch what was now resting in between your legs.

"I must say you're really rude!" The little person yelled up at you as he climbed onto your thigh and rubbed his head, a scowl settled on his features. "I'm dreaming right...?" You stifled out a laugh, shaking your head. You even pinched yourself in hopes the miniature boy would disappear but sadly he didn't.

"I wish I was, but I'm not so that means you're not either." He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. You leaned forward to get a better look at the little person who sat frowning at you, much calmer than a few moments ago, finger hesitantly moving forward with an itch to touch him.

"What are you...? And where did you come from?" You questioned, eyes marveling at how unreal he seemed. There was a little glow in his complexion that you couldn't quite explain. Suddenly, in a blink of an eye the tiny boy sprouted wings and flew up to your face now eye level with you.

"I'm Estiliel Eun Jeon from the kingdom of Estiliel but everyone calls me Jungkook." You blinked in confusion, mind trying to process the lengthy name while the words sat on the tip of your tongue. You had a late reaction to the fact that he was indeed floating right in front of you, his wings a bit transparent with a faint radiance of color.

"K-kingdom?" You stuttered, trying to keep up with him as he flew around you a couple of times before landing back on your thigh again. "Yes, kingdom. Can't you hear? And I'm a fairy." He said with a smug look settling on his face, hands at his hips.

"Fairy?!" You laughed, almost falling back against your sheets, your mind reeling through the past when you once thought fairies were real. What a time for one to show up, when there was no hint of magic and childlike innocence in your heart. "I don't see what's so funny, giant woman." The fairy boy spoke as if it were an insult. "My name is Y/n... not giant woman, Tinker Bell." You snorted, moving to throw your legs over your bedside, prompting him to fly again. "

"I'm no Tinker Bell!" He shouted and you waved your hand at him dismissively.

"Clearly, but you are pretty like her." You laughed and hurried into the bathroom to clean up. Some part of you still thought that this fairy was a part of a strange dream you were having, but as you continued with your usual morning routine, it started to become a little more real. He wouldn't disappear.

"Look Jungkook I have to go to class alright? You can stay here until I get back." You smiled down at him as he stood on your kitchen countertop. If he were truly a real little being, you would be sure to question him when you arrived back home.

"No take me with you." He spoke once you made it to the door, it was amazing how loud his voice was for him to be so tiny and you thought about all the strange looks you would get if anyone saw him. "Jungkook people don't just see fairies every day, they might freak out seeing a little person flying around me." You explained, slipping into your shoes, hand already on the knob of the door.

“Then I’ll be quiet!” He shouted with a huff and a stomp of his foot. “You can’t leave me in this strange place alone!” You sighed staring back at the little guy. He tried to keep a firm expression, but you could tell he was a bit uneasy. “Alright, alright...” You muttered and unzipped a pocket on your tote bag. “Since you’re so scared of being alone…” The corner of your lips tilted in a teasing smirk as you motioned for him to get inside. Jungkook scoffed, spreading his wings to take flight. “I’m not scared. Only curious.” He replied sharply, fluttering into the bag’s pocket.

You ignored his words with smile, looking down at him as he peeked over the ridges of the zipper waiting for you to exit.

There was a cool breeze that nipped at your nose the moment you stepped foot out the door. More trees had begun to bloom since the last time you noticed them, signaling that Spring was indeed on its way. You glanced down at Jungkook who was particularly quiet, noticing how his little eyes gaped at your surroundings, lingering on every person and everything in sight. Another smile danced at your lips, eyes fixating forward until you made it to your college.

“Hey Y/n!” A shout from behind you had you turning around and Jungkook ducking into the depths of your bag at the male who spoke to you. “Tae!” You shouted back as if you hadn’t seen the same boy with chestnut tresses just yesterday and in most of your classes. Tae, Kim Taehyung was your closest colleague who always knew how to brighten your day with silly jokes or his signature box-like grin. He threw his arm around your shoulders as the two of you strolled campus halls, Jungkook peeking up at him with a glower settling on his prominent features, a look you didn’t notice too much.

“Ready for that physics test?” Taehyung asked, free hand scratching at his ear. “Hardly.” You groaned at the thought of testing later in the day. “How about you sir?” You asked him, nudging your elbow lightly into his side. Taehyung responded dramatically, rubbing at his ribcage as if you damaged him severely, a pout forming on his lips.

“No. I hate this class so much…” He whined. You let out a small giggle, nodding your head. “Agreed.” You both disliked how much of a tough grader your physics professor could be. “But we’ll get through it!” Your face settled with a determined look, holding your fist out to Tae who bumped it back with his own.

The day went by smoothly and you hardly noticed Jungkook at all which had you really thinking that maybe he was just a figment of your overly active imagination due to the remaining sleepiness you felt earlier. That was until you heard him speak and his voice seemed so loud as if it echoed throughout the room, kicking your heartbeat into overdrive with hope that no one heard him.

“Shhh!’ You must have looked silly hushing at your bag, but your classmates ignored you, too lost in conversations before they had to cease when the next professor arrived. “But I’m hungry, I demand you get me some food!” Jungkook yelled this time, causing a pair of eyes to look your way. You belted out nervous laughter, pulling out your cellphone swiftly, trying to pretend that you accidentally had a video playing.

“Can you please, wait until we get back to my place? I have an important test to take.” You whispered harshly to the little man who glared up at you. “No! I’m hungry now.” He answered, wiggling around as if he were trying to escape. “Jungkook stop it! I don’t want to zip you in.” You warned him as you dug into the main part of your bag to open a bag of chips. With a sigh, you broke off a tiny piece and gave it to him, hoping that would calm his attitude since you were starting to get more looks in your direction.

The fairy boy accepted the potato chip piece and bit into it, eyes lighting up at the flavor. You hoped that was enough to keep him quiet until your test was over and were thankful it worked. When you checked on Jungkook again at the end of your class you noticed he had fallen asleep, arms wrapped around one of your pencils in an adorable manner. You were starting to get use to him as the day passed.

“Hey Y/n! Wanna hang now that the test from hell is over?” Taehyung’s deep voice startled you, your hands moving to protect the pouch on your bag which may have come off as suspicious and yet he hadn’t acknowledged it. You shook your head flashing him a smile.

“Thanks Tae but the test from hell completely drained me, I’ll just go de-stress at home.” It was sort of a small lie you told, if it could be considered a lie at all. You were indeed going home but to de-stress was another story, your night was going to consist of getting every bit of information out of the fairy in your bag. Why was he in this world? And why did he come to you?

The moment you made it inside your home, like a quick bolt of lightning Jungkook burst out of your bag, flying circles around the room.

“Finally, it was getting stuffy in there.” He said as he landed on your kitchen counter top.

“Well it was you who insisted that you tag along, you could have had more freedom just staying here alone.” You laughed, on your way to your bedroom. Jungkook floated behind you with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I could have been attacked you know.” His words had you arching a brow curiously, now was the time to question him.

“Oh really? And who would have attacked you?” You asked, plopping down on your bed. Jungkook landed on your thigh, sitting with his legs crossed, not making eye contact with you. “My older brother, he’s been bitter lately because I am to take the throne.” He muttered.

“Throne?” Both of your brows had raised at this point and you remembered earlier that he said he hailed from some Kingdom. “Wait… Jungkook are you some kind of Prince?” You asked, eyes slightly wide in amusement.

“Some kind of...?” He frowned. “I am a Prince.” He said with emphasis as if you offended him greatly.

“Whoa no way!” You exclaimed, leaning down to examine the little man’s features more closely. Jungkook did have a princely look to him, no wonder he seemed so demanding in the little time he’s been around.

“Can you back up please…?” His tiny had pushed at your nose, and you could see the red flush spreading across his face. You had forgotten how close you were to him. “Sorry.” You apologized with a light giggle. “Anyways prince… how did you get here?” You leaned back on your hands, waiting for another interesting answer.

“Through that mirror…” Jungkook pointed at the vanity mirror sitting across your bedroom. It was a gift passed down from your mother and her mother before her. You were told the old vanity set had been around for generations and you had always been surprised how well it held up. “I was sent here by my caretaker Jin. He helped me escape from a curse my brother tried to place on me.”

“Wow…” That was the only response you could give him. It was like some sort of fantasy novel or film was unfolding right before your eyes and you were now in the middle of it. “That’s some serious sibling rivalry.” Your smile was brief, trying to lighten the mood that became a little dim as he stopped speaking.

“So how will you get back?” This was the last question on your mind. If he passed through the mirror there was a way to get him back through it, right? “I have no idea. I’m stuck until further notice.” He answered you. “Oh noooo!” You pretended to whine. “So, that means I’m stuck with a little meanie like you for a while.” You laid back on your bed with a dramatic huff, causing Jungkook to land on your stomach.

“Hey! I’m not mean and if I could leave I would!” He snapped.

You laughed at his response, you could tell you hurt his feelings a bit and he was just trying to play tough.

“Calm down little man, I was just kidding around.” You grinned, nudging him with your finger off your stomach and onto the bed. “Stay here as long as you need, we’ll figure something out soon.” You assured him.

You spent the evening showing Jungkook what watching television was like, breaking off snacks to keep his appetite under control and explaining to him how a cell phone worked. Every little thing was new to him and you appreciated the excitement he tried so hard not to show. When it was time for bed you pulled out a second pillow just for him to sleep on, noting that this would be the first time a guy has slept in your room. It didn’t count too much since Jungkook was only a few inches tall and you would barely notice that he was there.

“Sleep well prince.” You yawned as you turned over on your side, drifting off to sleep as soon as you closed your eyes.

“Sleep well…” Jungkook responded, eyes closing and unaware of the light glowing around him.

The next morning you find yourself latching onto warmth, your nose nuzzling smooth skin. There was a weight around your waist and a sweet scent urging you to open your eyes. You snuggled closer to the warmth, eyes opening slowly to meet a set of lips slightly parted. You blinked away the grogginess and pulled back examining the strange body in front of you, eyes widening at the realization that a full-grown man was lying next to you with his arm around your waist. You screamed, startling him awake while you almost fell out the bed.

“Why are you being so loud woman?” His voice was heavy, hazy with sleep.

“J-Jungkook?!” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Just last night he was so tiny, just fluttering about and now he was sitting up in your bed, staring back at you as if you were insane. “Y-you’re a man…” You stammered, face flushing as your eyes quickly scanned his features. Honey like hair with a hint of strawberry, a rounded nose and big doe eyes. His jawline was sharp and his body… You grabbed your pillow and threw it at his face, hitting him dead on.

Why the hell was he naked?!

#kwritersnet #bts writing squad #bangtan bookclub #noonanet #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #sorry for the half assed editing too nsakjslkd

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elyonbeats · 8 years

Text

Just Like a Dream

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Based on a true story* It’s a story that explains what’s been happening in my life recently and the special burden which I am voluntarily carrying.

The hot summer breeze was lingering in my hands. My mind was bombarded with symphony of bird's chirpings and California's unforgiving heat in May. I was sitting by the cafeteria, tuning my guitar, preparing for my upcoming performance, which was going to happen in about an hour. My friend, Choong Man, who goes by "DK," was sitting next to me, going over his rap verses for the upcoming said performance. "Are you ready, bro?" I asked DK as I was finishing up tuning the last string of my guitar. "Yeah bro, it's going to be so sick!" DK replied with his never ceasing, consistent, high energy. DK is a rapper and I am a singer. We are two Christian musicians who gets invited by church retreats / camps to do shows and guest speak during summer breaks. This time, we were invited to an "Awake Conference," which was a huge revival camp for Mongolian Christians from all over America. It was one of the biggest show we had the opportunity to perform in. Naturally, I was nervous, but DK always had this "cool" look on his face, not showing a single ounce of nervousness –– perhaps I thought this because he always wore a pair of dark shades, hiding his eyes from the outsiders.

It was 30 minutes before the show. DK finished up his tea and I wore my guitar strap around my neck. We entered the big conference room where everyone was waiting for us. We got up on the stage, embracing the overwhelming volume of the crowd cheering. DK and I stood under the stage light, positioned ourselves in front of our microphones, and started our performance. The show was incredible, people were dancing, jumping, and singing along to the choruses. After the show, we all went to the cafeteria to get some snacks and talk to people. I was fairly tired from all the adrenaline crumbling down at the speed of light. I was playing my guitar among the crowd of people, when suddenly, a mysterious girl approached me with a sweet gentle voice. "Hello, Jung" she spoke with a bright smile. "You were really awesome and I was wondering if you were interested in collaborating with me sometime." She possessed such captivating radiance, the type that provided stronger kick than quadruple espresso shots, stronger kick than all the whiskeys in the world combined into a single shot glass –– neat –– making one question the credibility of the drink's title: water of life. I never had a girl approach me asking if I wanted to collaborate on a song with her before. "Collaboration? How do you mean?" I asked with utmost interest. "I play the piano, maybe you can sing and I can play the piano?" "That sounds awesome! It'd be my pleasure, my lady." I answered with an English accent, presenting my silly side and to help rid the tension in our conversation. "The pleasure's mine, my good sir" she replied with an innocent laugh. This was the beginning of our friendship.

Despite how well we got along at the conference, there was a barrier when it came to us becoming close friends. Her and her family lived in Denver, Colorado –– whereas I lived in Sacramento, California. The more I talked to her, the more I began to develop feelings for her. I figured, this was just a "phase" I was going through and it's nothing I should analyze or invest too much thoughts in. The more affections my heart developed, the more I rebuked it, telling it that it cannot work and I am just setting myself up for a heartbreak. She was 19 years old, an age of "confusion" as I always called it. I believed 18 and 19 were these "transitional period" where we would slowly surrender our identities as 'teenagers' and slowly (and often times, awkwardly) transition into a young adulthood. One night, I found it extremely difficult to keep my affections for her suppressed. Confessing your affections to someone you like is not an easy thing to do –– especially if that person means so much to you. The fear of causing detriment to our friendship, fear of creating awkwardness between us, the fear of not being able to "undo" any actions, were terrifying me and has been inspiring me to suppress my feelings for awhile. However, no matter how great my desires of killing these feelings for her were, eventually, I got to a point where I could no longer keep it inside. I called her on her phone and we proceeded to have our usual "evening call" sessions. We talked for about an hour when I told her "hey, I have something I need to tell you..." Not knowing anything, she asked me to reveal what was on my mind. I couldn't think clearly anymore. Even though she wasn't the first person who I've ever developed feelings for, and even though this wasn't the first time I've ever confessed my romantic feelings to someone, my heart was racing and my hand was struggling to hold my phone still. "I really like you... I've been suppressing these feelings for you for awhile now, but it's killing me inside and I can't take it anymore." "..." ...What have I done? "I am sorry to bring this up randomly, but you mean so much to me and I want to get to know you better..." "..." Still no response. "If you think this is not right, then I'll understand. I'll be fine, but please, I pray that my confession will not cause any awkwardness between us." "I like you too, Jung. I've been feeling the same way about you" she spoke after a short brief silence. This was the beginning of one of the happiest time of my life, and at the same time, the beginning of one of the toughest time of my life –– of course, I was unaware of this at the time.

How can you explain to someone what "liking someone" is like? When someone asks you "how do I know if I like you?" how can you answer that question? It's been about 4 months since we've revealed to each other about our feelings. We started talking more freely, more frequently, more personally, and more intimately. I was even able to save up to go visit her in Colorado in November. We both spent an incredible time together while I was there. Holding hands, sharing food, cracking jokes, teasing one another, singing along obnoxiously to whatever songs that was playing on the radio –– I thought everything was going well. On my last night there, I took her to "Red Rocks Amphitheater" which was about 40 minutes drive from Denver. It was a huge amphitheater, built on top of a hill, overlooking the cities of Colorado. We sat on one of the steps and opened up our hearts and minds; we breathed in hope and spoke out sincerity. Time was acting like an escaped convict, running away from me so desperately, without even giving me a chance to try and catch it. The chandelier of stars were silently blessing us with its light, providing us with infinite topics and memories to talk about. We were just two people falling in love with one another. We gazed upon the millions of scattered city lights, and after a brief silence, I opened my mouth to speak. "Hmm... Those city lights remind me of this one story." "What story?" She asked with a curious tone. "Legend says the stars in the night sky were created when the goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, accidently spilled her bag of jewels on her way to mount Olympus." "Her jewels?" She asked, but wasn't really a question, but more of a little "check point" for me to see that she was listening. "Yeah... But I feel like the city lights look more like the bag of jewels than the stars... See? The red lights are the rubies, blue ones are the sapphires, the green ones are emeralds and gold lights are the gold." I'll be honest, I sounded like a sophisticated, poetic, badass when I said those words. "Hmm... Aphrodite's jewels... I like that!" She exclaimed with a bright smile. We continued to talk the night away and decided to leave when the time has successfully escaped from our hands. While I was driving to drop her off at home, I asked her if she would be my special "companion." For some reason, the word "companion" sounded less corny than "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." The drop of that question summoned ripples of thoughts in her mind, which led to creating an awkward silence in the car ride. After about 3 minutes of silence (which felt like an eternity), she answered "I would really like to, but can you give me some time to think about it?" I replied "of course" and we decided to put that topic behind us.

Soon, the month of December came and created silence in our lives. She was uncertain about her feelings toward me, mainly because she didn't know what it was like to be in a relationship or to develop feelings for someone. We decided that we should take some time away from one another, for it could help her (and myself) think more clearly and not make any decisions impulsively, regarding us becoming a couple. We decided to take this "month of silence" to think, pray, and reflect on our hearts for each other. I suggested that we should keep a journal, writing down our thoughts and what we wish to tell each other, daily, and at the end of the month we can exchange our journals and see what our month was like. She agreed to this idea and we started our "month of silence." Cutting off communication wasn't too difficult, because we both had a lot of things that kept us occupied –– such as preparing for the finals, working, church ministries, family time, etc.

January came and we broke the silence when we talked on the phone. I was so overjoyed when I heard her voice after a month of not talking. We took some time to catch up and exchanged our addresses so we could mail out our journals to each other. I thought everything was going great –– until about an hour into the conversation, she broke my smile when she said "I am so sorry, Jung... but I don't think I am ready for a relationship." I felt like the world was turning upside down and I was quickly losing my balance to stay standing. My mind was trying its best to process the words she was telling me. She continued, "I invested a lot of thoughts into this, I thought about it from so many different angles, but in the end, I am just not mature enough for a relationship... I don't think I even understand the concept of liking or loving someone. How can I commit to a relationship when I can't even understand my own heart for you?" Her painfully gripping words –– accompanied by her soft-melodic voice, were choking my throat, preventing me from speaking any single word. "I am so sorry, I hope my journal will explain everything to you, clearly. I tried, I really did, but I think this is for the best. I will forever cherish the memories we've made together..." I suppose she was choking up as much as I was. Those were her final words and our phone call abruptly ended.

It was tough, bearing this excruciating pain, bringing myself into chronic depression and state of denial. My heart was heavy and my soul was dragging, but finally, I was alone –– there was nothing I could do but let her go. If she said she's not ready, can I be arrogant enough to try and do the time's work? There was nothing I could do, for she had made up her mind and was already walking away from me. From us.

Her journal arrived in my mailbox later that week and I was having a hard time getting past first few pages. It was difficult, mainly because the first few pages started out very hopeful, but I already knew how this book was going to end. The more pages I turned, the more I began to feel broken, and finally I got to her entry for "Day 28." The entry read

I don't think I will be able to be in a relationship with you, Jung. I sound cruel, I sound harsh; I sound like some playgirl who mercilessly end things like this. Yes, while I know me saying stuff like this won't make you feel any better, but I think this is the best for us. At one point, I got so emotional I thought maybe I should just say "yes." But no matter how much I think about it, I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't think I would be ready anytime soon. So instead of waiting for me or pursuing me, I think it's best if you moved on and meet a much better, more cooler, more spiritual, more beautiful girl. I don't think I'm right for you, Jung. I thank you so much for everything you've done for me and I absolutely know I don't deserve any of it. Thank you for making my life exciting but I think this is where we should end. It's hard for me to be blunt like this but I'm trying to be as honest as I can be and I hope you don't get too heartbroken when you read this. Don't cry too. Don't cry for someone like me. I still wish we can talk and keep in touch but it will hurt if we talk as if nothing had happened. Because we know what happened. I don't want you to get hurt by me or continue to suffer, so it's best for you to not wait for me. Everything you've done means so much to me. I was never 'fake' or took them lightly. Every minute was cherishing. I feel so guilty for putting you into this mess. I'm so so sorry, Jung.

Ladies and gentlemen, I cried that day. This was more than just a 'break up,' I lost someone who I considered so dear and close to me. I lost a piece of my heart. I lost the ability to be carefree and joyful. I lost my bag of jewels. They say, "Time heals all pain" and I am in the process of being healed. It's funny, past couple of months have been a crazy experience for me. I've reached one of the highest point in my life and also reached one of the lowest. Looking back, it all started with a couple of songs I sang at the conference. Now, I sing a different song –– a song of healing, a song of hope, a song of longing. You see, I've decided to wait for her. Yes, I am aware this may sound foolish, especially given that none of us know what to expect in the future with certainty. Friends, families, and other various people within my circle have given me the cliché "there are plenty of fishes in the sea" speech; but I find it a bit ludicrous for them to say that without knowing anything about this special girl of mine –– No? Well, I've decided, even if this decision I've made is wrong, even if her and I don't work out in the end, as long as there's 1% chance of possibility, I've decided that she's worth it. She doesn't know that I've decided to wait for her, and frankly, we haven't been talking for over a month now. We both need some time to heal and settle before we can even think about starting a new relationship, or better yet, amend this broken relationship.

#Elyonbeats #Story #Nonfiction #Heart Broken #Love

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