#JENSEN IS SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIS BOY

[lightofraye]

Debunking Nonsense Against Jared

There's apparently some crap about Jared that is just absolute nonsense. Full of lies and bullshit.

It'd be one thing if people just didn't like him. It happens. Not everyone is likeable. You're not expected to like him. But don't pull up lies to explain why you don't like him. Especially when they've been debunked again and again and again.

1. The "racist" tattoo. Y'all, this is nonsense. It's been debunked over and over and over. It's not a racist tattoo. For one, it's lacking the logo of "Come and take it", which would make it a racist tattoo. But a lone star above a cannon does not a racist tattoo make.

Jared is a proud Texan. He also donates to many a charity and organization that help people, speaking out about them often. Not to mention, prior to pro-gun rights appropriating the symbol and logo, it stood for a proud history in Texas. Jared would've known.

So how about instead of focusing on a mere tattoo, come up with more proof that Jared is a racist? Hmm?

Besides, if you're mad at Jared's tattoo, are you then mad at Jensen's t-shirt, which did show the saying as well?

2. Fighting with fans online. Oh come on. Misha's done it. (Misha's done worse, in fact.) Danneel's done it. Jared doing it does not a bad person make. And I don't think he's done it in a long time.

And of course, people will go "Danneel was hitting back!" And? What's the difference? Jared was hitting back too. Danneel went a step farther most of the time, siccing her followers on them, threatening them with Clif, even ran crying to Clif because people were being "mean".

3. RE: Prequelgate. Give me a fucking break! Jared was right to be upset! He called and texted Jensen for hours before he gave up and responded to that tweet about The Winchesters announcement. Jensen also lied about not being allowed cellphones on The Boys set. When they weren't filming, they were allowed. (Of course they can't have their cellphones on their person during filming, unless it suited the scene!) Besides all that, Jared honestly didn't know about it! Kripke was even shocked when he learned Jared didn't know! Supernatural and its legacy is as much Jared's as it was Jensen's! The whole freakin' industry gave Jensen a massive side-eye for his unprofessional behavior. Kevin Smith, a man who has directed, written, and acted in the industry, thought it was uncool. Also, Jared wasn't drunk.

4. Supposed bully accusations. I'd need to see more of this to believe it, but outside of occasionally putting Misha in his bullshit place, I've never heard of Jared bullying anyone. Everyone he's worked with has sung his praises. The only one who hasn't is Misha and that's because Jared won't let Misha put him down. And in fact, has had to step in to stop Misha from torturing Jensen. So fuck off with your noise.

5. His fanbase. Is he now responsible for his fanbase? I never knew that. What about Misha's fanbase sending Jensen death threats for denouncing Destiel? Has Misha ever stopped that? What about AAs hoping for Jared to suicide after Walker was cancelled?

6. What about Genevieve? Oh come on! Do I like that Gen is featuring the kids a lot? Myself, no. But if Jared was truly bothered by it, I'm sure he would've spoken to Genevieve. And Gen isn't any different than many other mommy influencers. I'm not keen on exploiting the kids like that, but would you say the same about Danneel abruptly grabbing the kids at Wales Comic Con and dragging them out for a photo op? All because she had no one in line for her autographs and desperate for attention?

7. Jared's Hair. Apparently there are some claiming Jared had gotten hair plugs. My response to that is: So what? Misha's had plastic surgery (trust me, it's obvious--his eyes and clearly lip fillers). Danneel's had worse--her hair is fried, bad extensions, plastic surgery galore that has ruined her hair line because of facelifts, fillers, Botox, and breast implants (twice!). Jensen's likely had a bit of work too.

So. Fucking. What. About Jared's hair?

--

Come up with truthful reasons to hate Jared, hmm? Not bullshit.

[wellofdean]

So, it's come to my attention that calling The Winchesters 'fanfic' is something that a cursed segment of the SPN fandom is doing to denigrate TW.

I have gleefully called it fanfic, and that's because it is clearly a transformative work based on the original show. Jensen Ackles literally said: I hate this ending for the blorbo inside my heart (and body), I can't let him go, and I'm gon' write him a new ending. Then he threw his money at it, and suited up. Good boy.

For the record, I think that is fucking awesome. Let me be very clear: fanfic is something I love very much, something that is of genuine intellectual interest, and a thing you will pry from my cold, dead hands. Calling something fanfic is not, to me, a denigration of any kind. Believe me, when I tell y'all that I never expected to take Jensen Ross Ackles into my heart like I have thanks to this amazing turn of events, but THIS HAS DONE IT. I love that dude. He looks so fucking cute when he is fixing that dog's dinner of an ending to a show and a character that I got 15-year slow-burned into being over-invested in. He has never looked cuter.

That said, my calling it a fundamentally transformative work doesn't mean I'm saying it's not canon. What happened in TW is canon in the SPN universe, and the haters can die mad about it. Dean is canonically actively searching for his "family", or like, the one member of his family he doesn't know exactly where to find... I'll give you a hint:

...and dealing with his trauma while driving his magic car through portals in the multiverse to hang out with his baby parents and their awesome friends.

Jensen's privileged position as both the owner of the intellectual property and the producer of a transformative work based on previous canon means that TW hits an interesting sweet spot in the shared space on the fic vs canon Venn diagram of my dreams. I love it, and I hope someone is writing a dead-serious dissertation somewhere, although probably not, because it's not like it's a new situation that something is simultaneously transformative and an original work.

So tl;dr -- TW is clearly a transformative work, and it is also canon. Jensen Ackles is a goddamn delight, and I love him for this. I hope he is very proud of himself. Jensen, you're doing great, honey! Finally, calling something fanfic is not a denigration, because fanfic is legit and awesome. The end.

[iightbringer]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲. ︱ introduction.

hello all, thank you for taking the time to read this silly little blog intro!  my name is lucifer and you may use any pronouns you feel fit for me, i’m not picky in the least. i am twenty this year and a proud virgin— i mean .. virgo. i’m terrible at writing bio’s, so here’s just a few things to know about me — i come from a land down unda, i sow chaos, confusion and mild amounts of concern in the hearts of everyone i meet and oh, did i mention how much i fucking love frogs? like, i can’t get enough of those funky little guys. that muppet has inexplicably and irreparably ruined me. and now, moving right along with a word from our sponsor, who just so happens to be the most beautiful, amazing girl in the entire world — my darling girlfriend! love you, boo <3

❝⠀⠀ hi. i'm lucifer's 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 &. today i'm here 2 talk abt the one nd the only: lucifer. first, they vvv friendly. it's almost scary bc who tf is that nice. well i have news for u. they are. i'm still shy to approach them even if we're tgt bc they like. rly talented. they modest asf but they're rly good at everything they do. esp writing. nd art. like girl i can't even begin to tell u. u hve to see for yourself. also: charming. so playful but in endearing way. and. that dumbass never fails to make me smile. 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭: so. protective. their loyalty is absolutely. shocking. nd they dn't just give that away. next slide: observant. and so focused on details &. ideas. constantly thinking abt smth. seeing them brainstorm or voice their opinion will never not be fascinating. furthermore: they genuine &. best believe they'll keep it 𝟏𝟎𝟎 w u. they dn't play w bs yk. it took a lot for me to understand they hve good intentions. they're good to me, &. they treat me so well. but now ik it's bc they truly love me. to close: i'm not the type to say sappy things. even tho that's all i did. but meeting them would be so worth it. it was for me. but u better not hurt them. or i'll hve a nice chat with u. anyway. ty for reading this far. if u need me, i'll be busy planning lucifer's demise. farewell.⠀⠀❞

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ signed, 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖆. ⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲. ︱ interests.

  ⠀⠀⠀these are the things i enjoy doing⠀…

★ ⠀⠀writing. cosplaying. crafting. roleplaying. drawing. gardening. painting. gaming. singing (badly).

  ⠀⠀⠀and these are a few of my favourite things⠀…

★ ⠀⠀horror movies. fizzy drinks. the colour white. jensen ackles. stuffed animals. religious imagery. vintage music. zombies. andrew scott. musical theatre. mod fashion. imagine dragons. aussie representation. theology. gore. trixie mattel. rainbows. mental stability. pokemon. cats. shopping. crime shows.

  ⠀⠀⠀shows i’m into ⠀…

★ ⠀⠀house m.d. supernatural. the walking dead⁺. banshee. you. hannibal. dexter. sherlock. american horror story⁺. criminal minds. scream queens. lucifer. squid game. the boys. the last of us. hazbin hotel. fallout.

  ⠀⠀⠀games i’ve played ⠀…

★ ⠀⠀bioshock⁺. mass effect. resident evil⁺. outlast. beyond: two souls. telltales the walking dead⁺. undertale. alice: madness returns. the quarry. detroit: become human. baldurs gate 3. batman: the telltale series⁺. heavy rain. alien: isolation. we happy few⁺. the last of us. until dawn. death stranding. corpse party.

and for a comprehensive list of horror & marvel movies i’ve seen, click here. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲𝓲. ︱ information.

if you’re interested in a roleplay with me, please do feel free to send me a message and i’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. i do not & will not roleplay with anyone under the age of eighteen.

  ⠀⠀⠀ do not follow this account if you ⠀…

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are sexist, any sort of phobic, racist, etc. 

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ promote/post about drugs, alcohol or smoking oorp.

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are a nsfw blog or frequently post nsfw content.

and i think that’s all, folks. thanks for stopping by and have a lovely day, wherever you are. peace!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 262

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Another day, another night I fucked around to much to watch more than one show before going to bed

“Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox”

Plot Description: an assortment of hunters gather to commemorate a fallen brother, but Sam and Dean soon realize that a demon has come to kill them all

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I don’t know. I don’t even understand when this is supposed to take place. I’m piecing together that it’s before Dean was born but the only thing they did to make Mary look younger is put her hair in braids. I swear there’s a whole other actress who plays young Mary, but….k, so it was about how Mary influenced this kid and he grew up to be a hunter and then died. Yeah. I wouldn’t become a hunter. That is not the life for me

Please let this be a running joke this season. PLEASE let Dean tell EVERYONE “oh, yeah. Just to catch up since the last time we saw each other? I killed Hitler” it WILL hit every time. Omg he’s so proud

(Ok I had to go back a few seconds because I couldn’t believe Sam said what he said to Jody. I’m now gathering that Dean HAS been telling everyone who knows them this so I’m not surprised when) Sam really just aired out his brother’s hentai habits to Jody. Dean’s very grateful that phone rang omg

Ohhhhh, Jody, you LIKED him. You liked Asa

(Weird question, are Cas and Crowley just…hanging around Cleveland still?? Are we gonna hear from them again??)

Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. This guy who’s asking Sam about having been possessed by Lucifer is such obvious “this is the demon who’s here to kill everyone” bait, like it’s TOO obvious. But because this IS supernatural, it actually could be him

And then sometimes…you know, you could be wrong because a hunter just died and that guy was still in the room with everyone else. I did say he was TOO obvious

Oh, Mary’s here now!

Oh…the amount of parental troubles in this house has shot through the roof. Like, on so many fronts. Jody, who’s a bit of a surrogate mom to the boys (even though she’s not that much older than them. Yeah, the actress who plays her is only 9 years older than Jensen) has chastised Dean for not telling her Mary’s back but also is now thinking about if she had the chance to have her husband and son back…at her kind of boyfriend’s wake. Then there’s just the awkwardness between Mary and Dean. Not to mention Mary and Asa’s mom, who’s mad at Mary because she’s the reason Asa didn’t grow up to be an astronaut…but if Mary hadn’t saved him from that werewolf all those years ago, he wouldn’t have grown up at all. It’s not Mary’s fault she left an impression on this kid she saved. She had no idea

Fascinating that they’ll still say w****go but will refer to a First Nations girl as that (this episode takes place in Canada)

Oh, so EVERYBODY’s getting possessed tonight. This demon’s body hopping like there’s no tomorrow. Ah shit, they just killed off the obvious bait guy

Mmmmmmm, not trusting whoever got a hold of the angel blade…this is like watching Clue (1985) but way less funny

The thought to make a large devil’s trap for everyone to stand in is a good TEMPORARY idea, but it’s not a permanent solution unless you all plan to die there

THIS must have been a fun scene for Kim Rhodes. Any time someone gets to play a fun chaotic demon after being a no nonsense character….ooo, I just love that for them. She is just airing EVERYONE’S laundry here.

Wait…Asa’s friend killed him????? (It was an accident, but it’s the coverup that reallyyyyyy sucks about it)

Ohhhhhh nooooooooo, when Billie got Dean back in the house she said he’d owe her one………she meant Maryyyyyyy because Mary’s not supposed to be heeeeeere

Ok, she’s not going yet…but also…she’s not going with Sam and Dean yet either

[walker-290]

BONUS: EXCITED ACKLES TO MAKE THE AUDIENCE STAND UP FOR HIS BOY!!!

[jawritter]

Hey Jen! Congrats on 3k! Well deserved because you are one of my absolute favorites. So here's my submission.

Tell me about being married to Jensen and finally its summer which means loads of time together after he's been away doing press and traveling for The Boys. Knowing he's going to be home he finds the reader sitting by the pool, sucking on a Popsicle. Teasing him definitely. He of course can only take so much given having been away from the reader for to long and he just snaps leading to him taking his wife, the reader.

Baby, Let’s Put On A Show

Warning: Smut, Somewhat public smut, teasing. Written in Jensen’s POV. Language.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 343

Jens3Kcelebration    Masterlist    

Jensen felt as if his every nerve ending was on fire, and it had nothing to do with the extreme Texas heat. It did however have everything to do with his wife, who was stretched out on a pool chair, a deep cherry red popsicle sucked deep inside her red stained lips, her tongue wrapped around the frozen treat as she hummed in delight. Clearly she was proud of herself for teasing him, because he was sure he was doing a piss-poor job at hiding the torment he was in. 

She made quiet a show of pulling the fucking thing almost completely out of her mouth, all but the dripping tip, and sucking it back in slowly, sending drops of red liquid down her chin and onto the swells of her breast, and he damn near whimpered audibly. His cock heavy and swollen, his swimming trunks doing little to hide anything from view at all. 

“Can I help you with something babe,” she smirked at him, pulling what was left to the popsicle from the stick with her dampened lips with an exaggerated slirp, and that was it, it was all he could take. 

He doesn’t remember continuously telling his feet to move, but before he’d realized it, he’d crossed the small distance between pool chairs and was on her like some primal, sex deprived animal, growling as he claimed her mouth with a rough kiss that was all tongue and teeth, the kind that left them both panting when he finally pulled away, ripping her bikini bottom off with one pull of the dainty little string on her side, bring a victorious squeal of delight from her. 

“Wanna fucking tease me,” Jensen growled as he fisted his thick cock from his shorts, lining up to her already dripping entrance. “Wanna put on a little show?” He continued as he thrust roughly into her, bringing his hand up to cover her mouth and muffle her scream. “Then baby, let’s put on a show. Give the neighbors something to talk about at the next PTA meeting.”

Forever Tags:

@spnwoman

@stoneyggirl2

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@deanssliceofcherrypie

@stixnstripesworld

@fullwattpadmusictree

@meela86

@maggiegirl17

@nancymcl

@christycreature

@whiskey-infused-dreams

@leigh70

@supernatural79impala

@deandreamernp

@forgetthisbull

@miraclesoflove

@slamminmine

@deanwanddamons

@rvgrsbrns

@chevyharvelle

@i-love-superhero-movies

@lyss-dw79

@magssteenkamp

@lemondropirwin

@squirrelnotsam

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67  

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@defenderrosetyler

@screechingartisancashbailiff

@thecreatiivecorner  

@vicmc624

@busy-bee-angel-misska

@justanotherwinchester

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@idksupernatural

@lyarr24

@amandamdiehl

@emoryhemsworth

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel

@flamencodiva

@coldmuffinbanditshoe

@itmejado

@supernatural3002

@teresa-67

@thoughts-and-funnies

@hearteyes-j2

@peaches007

@bobbie3939

@lunarmoon8

@vulgar-library

@writercole

@fairlyspnfanfic

@sexyvixen7

@spngi

@b3autyfuldisast3r

@donnaintx

@maliburenee

@the-family-business67

@agirlwithdemonblood

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@impalaslytherin

@perpetualabsurdity

@msmarvelouswinchester

@akshi8278

@love-jackles

@irmcpar

@pink-sparkly-witch

@siospins2

@herstarburststories

@mimaria420

@deanwinchesterswitch

@shawnie74

@charred-angelwings

@pascal-rascal424

@myloversgone

@fortheloveof-jackles

@eevvvaa

@bts-spnlvr12

@jxackles

@lassie-bird

@samsgirl93

@slytherinlyn341

@kaz11283

@mlovesstories

Jensen’s Babes

@smoothdogsgirl

@sexysirius

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

OMG! OMG! OMG! Episode 5 You Guys!!

Immediate spoilers below!

His name is Ben!! That scene between him and Crimson Countess was EVERYTHING!! I feel like I need to know more about SB before I can decide whether it was understandable that the CC hated him. That they apparently ALL hated him. I need to find out what really went on with SB and MM's family.

But no matter what, when he was talking to CC about waiting for her to come save him, I was teary. I mean, maybe he's a bastard, I don't know, but he seemed sincere there.

And in the beginning when they were doing the fucking experiments on him, I just couldn't take it. They tried to slice into his BEAUTIFUL EYES!!! FUCKERS!!

And then his like, PTSD when he heard the Russian music. There's no doubt in my mind that he suffered horribly for like nearly 40 years (holy shit - Dean suffering in hell for 40 years! 😭😭 I wonder if that's just a coincidence or if Kripke wrote it that way on purpose!) So, depending on what he did in his past, I feel like he's maybe paid his debt? I don't know - there are still so many unknowns about him!

This episode was also incredible! Other plot points that I loved:

Homelander being completely out of his depth when it comes to running Vought

Frenchie and Kimiko's dance number 😍😍

Where did Frenchie end up?!! 😬😩 (And Kimiko looked like she thought he left because she kissed him! 😭😭)

I was so proud of MM saying no to the V - he's 100% right. But I do completely understand where Butcher is coming from. Though, I feel for Hughie the need for the V comes less from a place of desperation about the Supes and more a need to feel "manly" and like he has something to contribute. I wanna smack him and hug him.

Butcher and Maeve's *ahem* "love" scene was hot af!! I actually really love them together. I think they're both too fucked up to actually work out as a couple or anything, but I totally ship it!

Maeve!! Wtf did Noir and Homelander do to her? (Oh, and did anyone else piss their pants when Maeve turned and Noir jumped on her?)

The whole storyline with A-Train and "Blue Eagle" or whatever the fuck he was called was infuriating beyond belief! And his poor brother. I wonder how that's gonna affect A-Train going forward.

Another brilliant episode and I already need it to be next Friday!!

And then here is just another moment of Soldier Boy being hot af! The way he fills up the fucking doorway!!!

And finally this incredible acting moment from Jensen, and the fact that his voice gives me all the goosebumps!!

[hintsofhoney]

alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg? 

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great!  Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao 

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))

[sortasirius]

“Carry On” and...Yikes.

Well clowns, looks like the clown calls were coming from inside the house this entire time.

I so desperately wish I wasn’t writing this right now.  I so wish that I could be writing something better, something joyful, something happy about this fifteen year journey with these characters.  It seems as though the show had other ideas, so in we go.

So...the dog was cool.  Also interesting that Dean was back to his breakup/grieving coping mechanisms: not making his bed, messy room, beer all over the place, Sam making breakfast, etc.

So I guess I better just start off with how...off this episode felt in regards to Dean specifically. Idk why he suddenly wanted a dog and Sam had no real interest in one, since the opposite has been true for, idk, fifteen years, but whatever, I was willing to let it go.

I thought the pie thing was a sweet scene, it was funny and nice and a good button on Dean’s pie thing.

Weird to, you know, bring up Cas and not mention his tragic ass deal and why he got got, but whatever.

I cannot physically believe that this MOTW aspect was, quite literally, so much of the plot.  Like...we figured that it was going to be an aspect, but for it to be SO MUCH?  Bruh.  I am such a fucking fool lmfao.

Again, cool to see Cas’ coat in the back.  Too bad it wasn’t addressed.

Jenny.  Bitch.  Come on.  Of ALL the villains in the FIFTEEN YEARS of Supernatural.  Jenny.  Who was in....one....episode.  Ok.

I mean that line about the high school thing was funny, I did laugh at that moment.  Fuck I love Dean Winchester.

I cannot believe I specced so much about the barn scene.  Are y’all telling me that “The Night We Met” is being claimed by......Sam and Dean.  Fuck off.

I mean, I thought Dean was going to die, and the scene actually did play out pretty similarly to how I thought.  It was probably the most powerful moment in the episode.  I am very glad that it was Dean’s choice, his choice and his peace to let go. 

“Let me look at you.  There he is.  I am so proud of you, Sam.”

I do love this, I love this because Dean is able to look at his work, the man that he raised, and tell him these things.  He was Sam’s parent, he raised Sam into the man he is today, and he should be damn proud of that.

I do love this most of scene, I really do, I love my boys, these brothers so damn much, and at least, at the very least, I have this scene of them.

Forehead touch was weird, I’m just gonna say it.

I feel like most of this episode was montages lol.  I mean I always hate sad Sam but at this point I still fully felt like we were going to get closure and we just...didn’t.

The Austin number was a cool detail, I liked that bc I picked up on it right away (since, you know, my phone is a 512 number lmao).

What a lackluster goodbye to the Bunker.  I had no clue that was going to be the last time we saw it ever.

FUCK AT LEAST I GOT MY DAMN HEAVEN BAR.

The scene with Bobby was nice, it was good to see him.  We did get our remade Heaven, that’s also nice to know.

“It ain’t just Heaven, Dean.  It’s the Heaven you deserve.”

He does deserve this.  An open Heaven, the people he loves, finally some peace, he deserves that, and I am glad that he got it.

Our second Cas mention.  Great.  Thanks guys.

I mean thanks Jim and Jensen for the microexpressions I guess lmao.

So I am supposed to believe.  That Dean.  Whose entire arc has been speaking his truth, specifically speaking his truth to Cas.  Where he has been stopped twice before this season.  Is going to just drive around in circles for forty years until Sam gets there?  Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

And Sam gets married and has a kid that he names Dean, and the unspecified dark haired woman in the back of the ten minute montage is supposed to be enough for me to buy that it’s Eileen?  Bruh.

Also it’s BACK TO BACK MONTAGES???  WITH TWO VERSIONS OF CARRY ON WAYWARD SON?

Sam’s age makeup????  Hello????  AT FIRST THEY DIDN’T EVEN AGE HIM THEY JUST PUT HIM IN A WIG?????

That cover of Wayward Son did slap but was it enough?  No.

Even that bridge moment didn’t hit right because Sam didn’t cross it?  He was just suddenly there.

It just fucking sucks.  It sucks that their reunion doesn’t land right because they...didn’t do anything when they were apart.  Sam had his kid sure but Dean literally just drove around.  No mention of Cas or of Eileen.  Nothing.  So the last moment of this show I love feels tainted and hollow and just wrong.

It sucks.  I’m not going to lie.  But the worst thing about it?  Is that it doesn’t make any sense.  I have not spent two years of my life picking apart the writing rooms in Supernatural, lauding this current team for what they’ve accomplished for it to end like this.  I know many of you will regard me as a complete tinhat freak right now, but this, to me, does not feel like an episode that Andrew Dabb wrote.  Hell, it doesn’t feel like an episode of Supernatural.

None of the arcs were completed: Dean didn’t get to speak his truth to Cas, Sam never got to become the leader, the legacy hunter he was meant to.  We don’t see them with Cas or Eileen, we don’t even hear about them.

Listen, there’s a lot that...simply doesn’t add up to me.  First of all, the episode was SHORT, and most of it was montages. They had four montages AND the episode was only 38 minutes.  The series finale of the show was shorter than any other episode and had four multiple minute montages.  Okay.  Make it make sense.  Newsflash: it doesn’t, there is simply no way I can believe that there weren’t massive cuts and reworks done to this episode on an executive level.

I know there are people who will tell me that the writers are just bad and I need to accept that they gave me a shitty ending, but after all this time with this story, especially with Dabb’s arc, he just...doesn’t do shit like this.  His arcs are always complete, always tied up well, always have a button.  But this mess?  This confusing episode that left everything hanging with a cover of Wayward Son hanging in the air?  It just doesn’t add up to me.

This wasn’t the story they were telling, this hasn’t been the story they were telling all season, and I stand by that.

So, I sure do wish I could give you a better post. I wish that we had gotten something better.  I still, after everything, love this show, and will still be here in the morning.

Thanks guys.  Love y’all.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs. 

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around. 

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear. 

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth. 

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said. 

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass. 

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning. 

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked. 

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch. 

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said. 

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked. 

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said. 

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said. 

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye. 

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car. 

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said. 

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said. 

“Sorry,” you said. 

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said. 

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said. 

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it. 

“Please forgive yourself,” you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours. 

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it. 

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.” 

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said. 

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said. 

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin. 

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes. 

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly. 

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved. 

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 168

A Little Slice of Kevin/The Girl Who Waited

“A Little Slice of Kevin”

Plot Description: Castiel suddenly appears back on Earth with no memory of how he escaped from Purgatory. Mrs. Tran enlists a witch to concoct a demon bomb

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I think so. Unless everyone at that park got pseudo-raptured

Where’s…oh, he was driving TO wherever he and Sam are kinda hiding out

This poor angel from the auction is being tortured by Crowley. Poor bby. Is he looking for other prophets??

I am in fact wondering that, Crowley.

I trust Mrs. Tran but I don’t trust this witch she’s working with

Omg Mrs Tran is so proud of herself 🫶🫶🫶

I know those are your routine questions but like….does a FIVE YEAR OLD HAVE ENEMIES???

Did you think you saw Cas again? I look away for ONE second

Omg. I love people. They think they’ve been abducted by aliens. You have rights other places, not in hell

Castiel is BACK back…sort of. He might not yet be at full power, but at least he’s topside and with the boys again

Oh. Oh there he isssssssssss, the Cas we love

If they ever actually kill Mrs Tran I’m gonna be so mad. She’s wonderful. She’s resourceful. Crowley sentenced her to die after kidnapping Kevin, and she grabbed her super soaker full of holy water and absolutely blasted that demon. I love her so much

I love how no one really says much when Dean goes into his minutes long flashbacks

I can’t take Jensen’s yelling seriously. It’s just not believable 💀 he’s so much better at angry whispering

HE’S BEEN BLAMING HIMSELF FOR NOT GETTING CAS OUT OF PURGATORY THIS WHOLE TIME BUT CAS NEVER BLAMED HIM ONCE

Mrs Tran KIDNAPPED THE DEMON LEFT TO KILL HER. She’s so wonderful

Oh. THAT’S why it’s called a little SLICE of Kevin ☹️

A farewell note from Metatron?? But we’ve yet to even meet him!!

Oh. Guess the demon bombs work

Oh. Cas IS…….using his powers recklessly despite not having all his strength back

Omg the Trans and Garth are going to be hanging out? I want THOSE episodes

He didn’t blame him…because he…stayed on his own volition. He stayed to atone for everything he’s done

Oh no. I don’t like this. I don’t like him being forcibly brought back to heaven…

No no no noooooo, I don’t like this for him. HE GOES THROUGH SO MUCH. At least with the Winchesters they kinda alternate seasons who’s gonna do something super fucked up and/or die

“The Girl Who Waited”

Plot Description: Amy is trapped in a quarantine facility for victims of an alien plague

Couldn’t he have told her WHICH button to push? Sure, but then we wouldn’t have an episode

The number of times she gets…not REALLY left behind by the Doctor but I’m sure it FEELS that way 😭and the fact that they keep pushing the not-really-even-there love triangle is silly. They haven’t done it this episode YET, but it could definitely happen

Ok but Rory DOES look good in the glasses

Oh no…oh it’s zero to one hundred in seconds flat with these robots. I get that the whole planet is under quarantine but there’s gotta be a step between “let me help you because you’re carrying unknown germs” and “I’m going to basically blow dart this medicine at you without actually knowing that you’re sick”

At first glance, at least, I would like to visit this garden Amy’s in

That was a RISKY MOVE making the robots high five, effectively deactivating them, though maybe only temporarily

“I don’t care that you got old. I care that we didn’t grow old together” 😭😭 he loves her so much

Oh….amyyyyy. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be that touch starved for that long. Or I can only BEGIN to imagine it

She named her reprogrammed robot Roryyyyyy.

She LITERALLY disarmed it

Goddddd that CRUSHING LONELINESS she went through

This is a horrible position to put Rory in. He’s only just seen his Amy earlier today. This Amy hasn’t seen ANYONE in 36 years. If they save this Amy, the Amy we know has to wait 36 years to be rescued, but if they rescue the Amy they know, this one effectively dies…and she’s making Rory choose which version of his wife matters more to him

And SHE loves Rory sooooo much back 😭

I think the Doctor might be lying about if two Amys can exist at the same time even in something as impossible as the TARDIS.

Karen Gillan should always have a sword. Just saying

Having watched Glass Onion, the Mona Lisa could not be destroyed THAT easily

What is it with today’s episodes and one half of a ship choosing to stay behind while the other blames and chastises and guilts themself over the other person’s choice?? Both Cas and older Amy CHOSE to stay where they were and Dean and Rory beat themselves up over it

I was also right about the Doctor lying about being able to take both Amys

[that-sarcastic-writer]

The Boys s3 finale spoilers below

So I finished the finale, and I have a lot I thoughts I will express here. Read if you will, or dont, whichever.

So first of all I was surprised to see that soldier boy didnt team up with homelander like I, and everyone else on the internet thought he would. I honestly didnt expect him, the homicidal trauma riddled piece of shit soldier boy to realized how fucked up and sad homelander actually is. Like I expect sb to be proud of homelander, to be like yeah that's my boy, you're doing fucking great. Now idk if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Like is that just hypocrisy on sb part because in many aspects they're the same? Or is that sb realizing that vought created a monster riddled with attention seeking and narcism who got sbs worst traits and some more? I have no clue, but I was definitely cheering him on when he told him he wished he had been there to raise him better. Would he have? No idea, he probably wouldve been exactly like sb with less inclement to murder everyone at will. But i was just happy sb wanted to fuck him up.

But then he got his ass handed to him by everyone like he was the bigger threat. Like yes, he would've blown up the entire building with everyone still in it, but the fuck were they expecting him to do to begin with? They acted like he was a bigger threat than homelander, which like maybe in the long run, but then? They should've let him fuck up homelander, but then again, the writers need homelander to be invincible for the next season, so they said hey you soldier boy, I know we talked you up big name for an entire season, but you're too much a threat so were gonna take you out instead. But not kill you, in case we want to end the show and only you can kill homelander now that maeve is gone. So were gonna keep you in storage keeping for now, also everyone likes you so, we might keep you around.

But I find it kind of ironic that the second the feds found him they put him back under, no hesitation, like he was this big threat. When they let homelander do whatever and kill as many people as he wanted for years. Like do yall not see homelander has been out of control for years??? Where's your energy with him? At least sb doesnt laser people's head up out of entertainment. But hey, again, we need homelander to be untouchable. So hey sb killed a a few dozen people on accident? Were gonna lynch him bc hes a threat, but when homelander lasers and kills people out in the street were gonna cheer him on. Fuck yeah.

The ending really did piss me off. Fucking Ryan tho. Like I bet you my left ovary hes gonna try to be a mini homelander, homicidal and psychotic tendencies and all. Like the way he smiled after homelander lasered that dudes head off? Fuck, SB was right to want to torch him too.

Lets take a second to honor noir, he deserved to least throw punches with soldier boy. I didnt want either to die, but it wouldve been cathartic to see him fuck sb up a bit. BUT NO, the writers once again said, fuck any character who can be a threat to homelander, and fuck any character you've remotely liked this season. He dead. And maeve? Oh yeah no she gone too. Tho at least she didnt die, and also she went out in a badass way. Fucking tackling the shit out of sb mid radioactive blast? Shes a fucking queen for that. Tho I'm happy shes finally happy with her girl and away from homelander, if anyone deserved it was her.

Speaking of queens, definitely happy Starlight is one of the boys now. It's what she should've done since s2.

Overall, pretty interesting ending for sure. Like I expected so many things for this finale and it was all the complete opposite. It definitely sets up for a fourth season which I'm obviously excited for. I'm really hoping Jensen comes back for a fourth season now that we saw Benny Boy is alive and well, sort of. Honestly he quickly became one of my favorite characters, they gave him some pretty solid background (the real one, the one hes told, not the bs we were told seasons prior) like he has solid potential to be a great character (great character writing wise, hes still shitty and awful, but hey, bad guys can be fun sometimes). And I'm glad all of our faves are alive and well. Except noir, rip my beloved homicidal maniac. And fuck you homelander and your devil spawn.

That's all thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[random-fireworks]

Supernatural really did that

Writing this post hurt so much.

The domestic montage that we’ve I’ve been craving for for years

For years, years, I have been asking for the Winchesters doing their laundry and we just got a whole adorable montage of domesticity 

Soft Dean waking up and cuddling Miracle (uwu)

tHE BREAKFAST???? “It’s hot” and Dean burning himself when taking the toast anyway?? It’s such a rom com scene and I am here for it.

Dean mouthing the words as he reads on the laptop 

Soft HAPPY Dean at the pie festival 

Dean calling Sam’s expression “sad Sam face” (he knows his little brother so well and I love when we get a glimpse of that)

Dean getting pied

Basically this whole first part where we get to see the boys being happy and domestic

Dad’s journal!!!

Sam is so fucking soft for his brother when he says “Vamp-mimes” and honestly who wouldn’t be???

Psycho Winchesters about to torture the vampire (‘See, we’re the ones you should be afraid of’ flashbacks)

I can’t believe we got both soft domestic Winchester and psycho serial killers Winchester vibes in the same episode, this is Jack’s work

Soft Dean with his ninja stars awwww

Not talking about that scene, nope.

Okay, here we go anyway.

The whole dialogue. (just. kill me.)

Jared and Jensen in this scene delivered the best acting I’ve ever seen on television. 

s o f t  d e a n 

“Can you stay with me please” (man I was already sobbing when he said that)

Dean is so proud of his little brother, it’s his greatest accomplishment and I’m just. Dead. :)))

Dean saying “saving people, hunting things, it’s what we do” and not adding ‘the family business’ because it’s not about the family anymore, it’s about him and Sam only

Dean’s smile when he says “it’s okay, it’s good” because hejfszkzd and his brother is there i’mqs kdjdhdslhqd

“We had one hell of a ride, man.”

“Yeah, there he is” There he is, my everything.

How the music goes so soft when Dean starts to talk about the night he came for Sam

The music was so good and beautifully completed the scene. Thank you Jay Gruska.

The way Dean says “The woman in white, that’s right.” fuCK ME. All that nostalgia. The happy and the sad feelings, god, I am tearing up just thinking about it.

I’ll never get over Dean waiting for hours in front of Sam’s door.  1. That’s straight from a fic (not complaining) but 2. It’s actually so coherent with Dean’s character in season 1??? Continuity, we love to see it.

“It was always you, and me. It’s always been you.....and me.” 

Pilot parallels as if I still had enough tears left to cry without risking dehydration

“I love you so much. My baby brother.” And validating all our ‘baby brother’ lines in our fics (THANK YOU, I KNEW IT)

Dean being the one to leave this time and asking permission to

But also “I’m not leaving you” skqbdqbk

Jensen Ackles deserves all the awards possible for this scene. How you could see the pain but also the pride, the peace of mind and the love in his eyes. 

Fucking caressing hands 

Dean is fucking dying and he still moves his head slightly so he can lean on Sam’s forehead. JHQFDKSHDJS. 

Sam wearing Dean’s hoodie :((

I can’t even. Jared’s performance? Never seen anything like it. God, that was heartbreaking. 

And Brother in arms????? aRE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME?

The fucking single toast fucking broke me :))))

SOFT DEAN in Heaven 

“Almost perfect.” Dean is supposed to be at peace because he’s in literal heaven but still misses Sam AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH (it’s about the longing)

Also, Bobby been knew. Can’t fool him.

Dean being like, ‘Ah, I’ll just go for a ride and wait for Sam :)’ Look at my codependent boys even in Heaven, what the fuck, we love them for it

BABY. KAZ 2Y5.

How the montage showed how Dean is still very present and a focal point in Sam’s life. The only other character we see is a Dean and Sam is only living because Dean would have wanted him to (it’s the codependency)

Sam raising Dean Jr seemingly mostly on his own just like Dean raised him 

Okay so Sam sitting in the Impala and crying made me lose it like-

Sam wearing Dean’s watch :(

Dean knowing when to stop and sensing Sam behind him azjhjdzahjzadjzbdz FUCKING SOULMATES

Dean grinning so hard when he feels Sam behind him and then trying to play it cool ayqshudldzfhjf

Obviously the Pilot clothes and me bawling like a baby even though I knew it would happen 

“Heya Sammy” (Dean saying this always makes me so fucking soft but this time I was like...a soft weeping mess)

Dean glancing at Sam’s clothes and the big smile that follows

That hug. This freaking hug. Dean hasn’t seen Sam in like an hour and he gives him a hug that is so fucking tight.

And Dean does not let go of Sam

Dean looking at Sam like he is the most precious thing he has ever laid his eyes on, because he is

Did I mention how much Soft Dean we got in this episode?

It was literally an episode about the codependency of the brothers

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

I trimmed my own hair tonight (it probably looks awful at the back, but it feels okay 👀)

BUT it got me wondering...

Bryce canonically loves/is proud of his hair... But what about Jensen? Does he put much effort in? Would he be likely to potentially butcher it like me 😆 Any other fun headcanons about it?

And how do the boys feel about each others hair/styles?

asdfghjk im sure its fine!! lmfao

as far as jensens hair, he at least makes sure it looks nice and generally put together. hes more willing to let it stay fluffy with messy curls when hes not at work, but he tries to look a little more professional when hes on the clock (often keeping the sides neater and wetting the top before work so they stay a little more organized). he has a decent but not extensive routine just to keep his hair healthy and the curls nice :)

while his mom was working a hundred odd jobs to make ends meet, at one point she was cutting and styling hair for friends (and friends of friends). she had always cut his hair at home, and he started doing it for himself when he got into his teens and has continued the habit since. he knows how he wants it and she taught him how to do it, and thats enough for him (also he isn't a fan of people having scissors and razors that close to his head). hes let it grow longer and shorter over the years, but sticks to a few similar styles just because it can be difficult to find styles that work with curly hair like his

for how they feel about each others hair/styles: jensen loves playing with bryces hair. he likes how it's styled, and appreciates that bryce maintains it well, but that never stops him from touching it and messing it up. at first bryce thought it would be annoying with how often jensen touches it, but eventually he realizes it doesnt bother him at all (i talked a little bit about this in this fic). jensen waits until bryce is about to shower or go to bed to play with it so it doesnt fuck up the effort he had already put into making it nice. it takes him a while, but bryce eventually trusts him to do quick trims or just fix up parts here and there!

the only thing jensen doesnt like about bryce's hair is that he sheds like a fucking dog. jensen finds his hair on all of his clothes, even when they just come out of the dryer

bryce also absolutely fucking loves jensens hair. he especially likes when its super floofy just after jensen wakes up. ofc he likes how it looks other times (he absolutely has a Thing for super professional jensen when its all nice and neat and he has shmancy clothes on, but ill get into that another time), but when its all soft and nice and fluffy he absolutely Loves it. also, one of the products jensen uses smells like vanilla and its one of bryces favorite things ever

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Honey & Sweetheart

Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale

Summary: The reader talks to Jensen and a special friend about struggling with parts of the finale...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,700ish

Warnings: language, spoilers

A/N: I wrote this one more for me than anyone else but if you feel similarly to how I do, I hope it helps you a bit like it did for me...

______

“Honey,” said Jensen as you stared out the window over the kitchen sink. “Oven’s going off.”

You spun and heard the beeping from the timer but he was already pulling on oven gloves. He took out the dish and set it on the counter, taking off the mitts with a strange look.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” he asked. You shrugged and he stepped behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist. “Still thinking about the finale?”

“It was a few days ago,” you said.

“Honey. I thought you said you liked it Thursday night.”

“Oh course I said I liked it. This thing has been a part of you for so long. You’ve been with the show longer than we’ve even known each other. I am so proud of you and the guys and everything you did.”

“But.”

“But I’m so angry and sad at what they did to Dean. I wish I’d asked you to tell me the end over a year ago when you found out instead me wanting to be surprised. I’m so mad because there was a sign all over your face about how it would go and I ignored it because I thought you were upset they would both live quiet normal lives and not go out blaze of glory. I should have said something. I would have called somebody.”

“Honey no one would have listened,” he sighed. “That was the ending always.”

“They should have listened to what you thought about it.”

“It was decided before I walked in the room.”

“I get it. It’s just not fair you had to do what they said with no say of your own. No one on earth knows Dean better than you and they ignored you and that’s wrong.”

“I’m not a writer, Y/N. I didn’t have a good idea.”

“Why the fuck did we just make a production company if you don’t have the ability to come up with ideas then?” you shot back. He stepped away and started to walk out of the kitchen when he paused. “I’m sorry. I know you had no choice. I’m sorry you’re telling me it’s okay as much as I’m telling you lately. I should be taking care of you. He deserved so fucking better though.”

“I know he did,” said Jensen quietly. “I know some people liked it. Some hated it. The general consensus I’ve gotten one or the other is that yeah, most agree he deserved better. I knew he did. But it’s done and I can’t change it.”

“I know, honey,” you said. You nodded and he stepped closer again, resting his hands on your arms and cocking his head.

“Sweetheart,” he said, voice lower and you looked up at him. You stared and he smiled. 

“Jensen don’t-”

“That’s not my name,” he said, still smirking at you. “You do realize I’m like right here, sweetheart. Anytime you want me I’m right here.”

“No you’re not. You died a stupid death. I would have taken a stabbing, a bite, a shot, a sacrifice, so many other ways. A fucking accidental death for you was stupid. Some think it’s poetic and realistic but I don’t,” you said. He shrugged and you bit your bottom lip. 

“You were always gonna be upset if I died though.”

“Because your character grew the fuck up and knew he could have more in life. You should have gotten to have more than a dog for a week. You deserved everything Sam got too. I deserved to see that was Eileen he ended up with. I deserved to see that Cas and everyone Dean cared about was in his eventual heaven when he was an old, old man. I deserved so much better than a premature death.”

“I was forty one.”

“Jensen’s forty two. So if he keels over I’m supposed to say aw shucks he lived long enough, it’s cool? I wanted you to have everything you fucking deserve. What was the fucking point of you growing all that time for you to die from fucking rebar on a run of the mill hunt? You died just like you thought you would as a kid and I fucking hate that. Just because it is how you thought you would go out does not mean it-”

He leaned down and kissed you hard, resting his forehead against yours as he broke off.

“I never said it was a perfect ending, sweetheart. Write your own story. Write how I come back. Take it from me, I know a guy, hot guy, you may be acquainted with him and he really wants to come back in a few years once he’s gotten some space. He wants to take more control if that happens. He will he promises. He wants someone that cares as much as he does to help him figure that out. So you gonna help him out and figure out that perfect ending for me? That way to bring me back? You know this world. We break the rules all the time. You could have me back in a heartbeat. What do you say? Gonna help him and his friends out?”

“Yes,” you said quietly. 

“I know you see yourself in me, sweetheart. I know you look up to me. I’ve heard from our mutual friend,” he said. You turned your head away and felt tears build up again for the millionth time in the past week. His fingers grazed your cheek and turned you back to face him. “So I deserved better. I deserved a long and happy life. Just because I deserved it and didn’t get it doesn’t mean that your story ends up like mine.”

You blinked and he smiled, stroking your cheek.

“You can have your happy ending. Keep going towards it. Don’t ever stop. You deserve your happy ending too. But you’re writing your story. You can take control in a way I couldn’t. You deserve happiness and you’ll get it. Don’t be scared it’ll go away, sweetheart.”

“I hadn’t thought of that until just now,” you breathed out.

“I know. Don’t be scared for you is all I ask. Go figure out my comeback story and figure out how to give me some kickass hunter wife and I get the kids and house and whole nine yards. You figure that out for me cause you need it and I’m not opposed to it. In the meantime, I’m gonna hang around with our mutual friend. Well I’m always gonna be around him but I’ll be around if you want to talk. Just say so. I’m gonna tag along the ride of his happiness for now okay?”

“You’re such a dork,” you said as you nodded and rested your head against his chest. “But I fucking love you. Both of you.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m okay. I promise. I want you to be too. If our friend tries to take care of you, do me a favor and let him? He’s not the only one allowed to feel so strongly about this.”

“Okay, Dean,” you said with a smile. “I think I feel better now.”

“It’s okay, honey,” said Jensen, his voice lighter as you hugged him.

“Thanks for doing that. I needed it,” you said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he chuckled. “But maybe listen to our friend. He made some good points.”

“I’ll still be upset about it all, maybe forever, but I’ll be okay,” you said. He kissed your temple and you shut your eyes, holding onto him. “Would it bother you if I honestly said there was parts of it I didn’t like at this moment?”

“It’d only bother me if you pretended to like it because you think that’d make me happy. You can support me and be proud of me without loving 100% of it. I have my own thoughts and opinions on it all, you can have yours too...plus I wouldn’t mind seeing your way of mixing it all up...you gonna pull the boys out of heaven?”

“Maybe. A few years from now, if you’re ever really serious about what you said, own it. Make those choices yourself.”

“Yes mam,” he said, kissing you again. “Want to go see if the new coat rack I put up in the mudroom earlier looks alright? I think I really nailed it.”

You stared at him and he giggled as he broke away.

“Too soon. So too soon,” you said as he pulled you with him towards the far side of the house.

“You cry and stress bake. I use bad humor and talking to Dean to cope. We all got out methods,” he said. “But seriously, I think I nailed it.”

“Jensen. You need to stop.”

“I’m gonna take a selfie with it and make that joke on instagram. Everyone’s gonna love that,” he chuckled.

“You need to calm down with the shitty jokes on instagram young man,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“You laughed. I won,” he said, booping your nose. “Thanks for telling me how you really feel about the end though. The end for now at least.”

“Just gotta keep teasing me with that don’t you,” you smiled.

“Not a tease, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink. “Maybe we can get Dean with a beard and some swearing, what do you say?”

“Maybe I could get a preview of that?” you asked.

“You certainly fucking can,” he smirked, voice low again.

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely on the list,” you laughed. He cocked his head and kissed you gently, picking you up off the ground. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

______

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch8: Same Old, Brand New You Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: Jake and Stella spend a bit of time together at home, rekindling their same old, brand new romance.

 Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson

Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW, 18+) Word Count: 6.5k ish

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: So enjoy this fluffy smutty chapter as from the next one, shit starts getting real...

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 7 Part 3

Jake woke a few hours later, his face buried in Stella’s hair, one arm draped over her waist, the other was beneath her, laying just below the pillow. He shifted slightly, before he sighed a little at the pressure in his bladder telling him he needed to pee. As gently and as quietly as he could, he untangled himself from Stella, who was sleeping soundly and turned, swinging his legs off the side of her bed.

The clock on the dresser was telling him it was only five minutes to midnight, but all things considered they had gone to bed fairly early, both of them wiped out after an emotionally and physically charged few days, or weeks even, since Pooch’s wedding. He cracked his neck, rolling it across his shoulders as he padded into the bathroom, yawning. Once he’d sorted himself out, he washed his hands and ran them through his messed up hair, scratching at his bare chest, before he made his way to the stairs. He headed down, blinking himself awake as he went. He couldn’t see particularly well without his glasses which lay on the bedside table, but it wasn’t like it mattered all things considered. He knew his way around the Stevenson house with his eyes closed. However, as he reached the bottom he immediately noticed the sliver of light coming from the kitchen meaning that someone was in there, and given that Stella was in bed, it could only be her mom.

Unless they’d been broken into. But then, what kind of burglar turns on the lights?

Jake opened the door and peered in. Sure enough, Jules looked up at him from where she had just finished folding some ironing and she smiled.

“Hey, Jake. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just wanted to grab a drink.” He nodded. “That okay?”

“Course it is. In fact, I was just about to make myself a camomile tea before I headed up to bed. Do you want one?”

Jake could have quite happily grabbed a bottle of water, he wasn’t all that bothered about the tea, but something on Jules’ face as she waited for his answer told him to take her up on her offer. So he did with a thanks, and she then nodded to a smaller piles of clothes on the table. Jensen noticed that in true mom form, she had indeed washed and dried their soaking clothes from before.

“Put your T-shirt on.”

“Me being topless in your kitchen making you nervous, Jules?” He grinned as he reached for it and she scoffed, folding away the ironing board.

“The pair of you came back soaked before, I don’t want you catching a chill.”

With a smile Jake pulled it over his head, the familiar smell of Stella’s laundry detergent hitting his senses. It was one she used herself, she’d never changed it, not once, always saying it reminded her of home.

The kitchen fell silent as Jules boiled the kettle and made them the tea, before she returned to the table and placed one down in front of him.

“Thanks.” He smiled at her as she sat in the chair opposite him. He yawned a little before he took a sip of his drink.

“Am I keeping you up, sweetheart?” Jules asked and Jensen shook his head.

“No, it’s just been a long few weeks that’s all.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jules looked at him. “Stella’s been exhausted.” She took a sip of her drink, her eyes not leaving him. “And upset.”

Jake sighed, “I know.”

Jules studied him again for a moment before she leaned back in her chair. “Suppose it doesn’t matter, it’s done with for now but, are you sure the pair of you know what you’re doing?”

Jake frowned a little. “In what way?”

“Well, I mean she was with Evan for six months,” Jules held her hand up to stop Jensen as he was about to cut in, “she might not have loved him, yes, I heard all about that, but she was fond of him. To be honest we all were and I certainly don’t approve of her cheating on him with you in Mexico.” She looked at him, her eyebrows raised and Jake felt his cheeks flushing with heat. “You should know by now, Jacob, there are no secrets between me and my girls, well, not many that is.”

“I’m not sorry about that night.” Jensen shook his head. “I mean, I’m sorry it upset Stella as much as it did and I’m not particularly proud of my behaviour, any of it over the last few twelve months or so if I’m honest but…”

“What’s done is done. I guess I’m just a little worried that she’s finished it with him and barely a fortnight later the pair of you are back together.”

“I know how it looks, Jules. Honestly I do. And I’m not stupid enough to think that things can just go back to how they were. We got a lot to talk about, a lot to work through, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try again. And she’s given me a second…or third…whatever, she’s given me another chance here and I wanna give it the best shot I can.”

“Well, Jake, you never do anything half-cocked that’s for sure.” Jules gave him a soft smile as she sipped her drink. “And I don’t need to ask you if you love her, because I know you do, you always have. But please, show it to her. Don’t take her for granted. Ever again.”

Jensen sighed and looked at Jules. “I know, I fucked up and if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t be happy about her taking me back either…”

“I’m not unhappy about it.”  Jules cut him off. “How can I be? She loves you, and you make her happy. But I just don’t want to see her hurt again. Because if you do, Jake, then we," she pointed between the two of them, "will fall out. Big time.”

The threat might have appeared to anyone else as innocuous, but Jake knew the undercurrent it held. He’d never fallen out with Jules before, even when he and Stella had split up, and for her to threaten that made him uncomfortable. Momma bear was in full on protective mode over her cub, and he couldn’t blame her one single bit.

“I promise you, I don’t ever want to lose her again.” Jake shook his head, giving a little shrug. “She’s my Stel.”

“Good because you’re my little boy, you know this.” Jules smiled. “I watched you grow up as much as I did her, and I didn’t like seeing you both fall apart.”

“I know. And that’s on me.” Jensen hung his head a little, his hands wrapping around the now almost empty mug in front of him on the table as he swallowed and raised his head to look Julie in the eyes. “But if I have to spend the rest of my life making it up to her, I will.”

At that Julie smiled, and nodded before she cleared her throat and made a point of looking at the clock on the wall. “It’s late.”

It was her way of telling him the conversation was over, Jake knew Julie well enough to understand that, so he nodded and stood up as she did the same, collecting his mug. He watched her deposit them in the sink and as she turned back to him he cocked his head slightly to one side.

“Jules?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I hug you?” He grinned, holding his arms out.

The woman chuckled, “there’s always a Julie hug waiting for you, Jacob.”

With a grin Jake stepped towards her and wrapped his arms tight around her as she did the same, her hands softly rubbing at his back in the maternal manner she had off to a tee.

“Now, go on.” She stepped back as he released her. “And take those dry clothes up with you.”

With a smile, Jake collected the items in his arms and looked at Julie. “You know, it’s only since leaving home I actually appreciate how great moms are.”

“Huh,” Julie gave a low huff of a laugh, “you’re growing up my dear Jacob.”

“Had to happen eventually I suppose.” Jensen wrinkled his nose.

“Well, better late than never.” Julie arched her eyebrow, the resemblance between her and Stella in that moment was striking, even though from photos Jake had seen, he’d always thought Stella took after her dad mostly. Same colour eyes, nose shape, hair colour, but now…well, there was no doubting Julie was her mom.

With a smile he patted the jeans on the top of the pile in his arms. “Night Jules.”

“Night Jake, oh, usual for breakfast?” She asked and Jake paused in the doorway, turning to face her.

“You know, I was actually thinking I’d make Stel toast in bed, it’s been a while since I have.”

Julie smiled “Well you know where it all is.”

“I do. Hey, might even make you some, you know I’ve always wanted to get into your bedroom.” He quipped and at that she laughed.

”Get lost before I slap you.”

Chuckling to himself, Jensen headed back upstairs and into Stella’s room, placing the clothing down on the dresser. Stella had turned over whilst he’d been gone, facing the side of the bed he’d occupied half an hour or so previously and with a smile he pulled off his tee-shirt and slid back into the covers, as Stella gave a little murmur and reached out for him. He slid his arms around her, pulling her close, her head tucked under his chin as one of her legs slipped in between his, wrapping herself round him with the manner of a koala bear.

“Where did you go?” She asked, her voice rough with sleep, her eyes not opening.

“I was reconnecting with my future mother in law.” He replied, dropping a kiss to her head.

“What?” she asked, giving a little yawn and Jake chuckled.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

Jensen closed his eyes, his hands softly rubbing at Stella’s back over the top of the thin camisole top she had on, and eventually he felt her completely relax in his hold and it wasn’t long before he too drifted back off into a peaceful sleep.

****

When Stella woke up the next morning, the sun had barely started to peek over the horizon. Her face was pressed into Jake’s back, her arms wrapped around him from behind as she curled around him, her leg tangled between his. She pressed a soft kiss on his back before she stirred, stretching a little.

Jake gave a soft sigh as she moved a little behind him, his arm reaching up to hers which was slung over his hips, hand resting on his abs. “Morning, Stelly.” His voice was raspy, thick with sleep as he raised her hand to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of her wrist.

“Morning Jakey. Did I wake you?”

“Not really.” He yawned. With a stretch of his limbs he moved and Stella shuffled back a little to allow him the room to roll onto his side, facing her, that adorable goofy grin spreading across his face.

Stella gave him a shy smile, her cheeks tinged ever so slightly with pink. “Hi.”

“Hi, baby.” He chuckled, instantly understanding why she was feeling that way. Whilst this sure as hell wasn’t the first time they’d woken up together, it felt different, like this was something new that was just starting. And in a way it was, their second shot at something serious. And just the mere thought of that filled his chest with warmth.

“You sleep well?” She continued and Jake smiled softly, reaching up to tuck her sleep mussed hair behind her ears.

“I always do when you’re with me.” He whispered and her eyes sparkled in the early morning light as she looked at him, a soft expression on her face as he felt her react to the intimate touch, her body shivering ever so slightly, her chest hitching. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Sorta, I erm, I was dreaming all this wasn’t real, that you and I had fought really hard and had gone our separate ways and... I was so relieved when I woke up next to you.” Her words were hurried and Jake shook his head, his eyes locked into hers.

“Not a chance, Stel. I told you, I’m not gonna let you go again, I love you.”

At that he leaned in, his lips pressing to hers in a slow, gentle kiss as his strong arms wrapped around her, one sliding under her neck, the other over her waist.

She grinned against his mouth. “Say it again, I like to hear you say it.”

“I-“ kiss, “love-“ another kiss, “you.”

Her body melted into his as his tongue dipped into her mouth. With a soft, yet strong movement he rolled them gently so Stella was on her back, hovering over her, caging her with his legs as his arms continued to hold her close.

“I love you too, Jake.” She whispered as she broke the kiss, her nose bumping his gently and he smiled, his lips gently pecking hers again before he moved down, nipping at her jawline softly.

His lips softly moved down her neck, gentle kisses, like the flutter of a butterfly's wing. Jake wanted to enjoy each and every place on her body, from her cheeks to her sweetest parts, he wanted nothing more than to feel the way her body would cling to him. To feel something more than what he'd been feeling for so long. And he was going to take his sweet time in showing Stella just how much he truly loved her.

His gentle kisses moved back up to that spot where her jaw met her ear and he softly nudged it with his nose in between kisses. "Let me love on you, Stelly."

Stella gave out a squeak at the deep baritone of his words, the hot breath in her ear and she tilted her hips into his as he led over her. Jake pulled away, a slow and soft smile spreading over his lips.

His arms moved from where they had been holding her and his hands gripped at the hem of the oversized tee she was wearing and he tugged it upwards, Stella arching her back, just enough so he could pull it over her head. Caging her in with his arms, he bent his neck down and captured her lips again in a kiss, long and languid, slowly rolling his tongue around with hers. Breaking free, and using his strength to stay over her, Jake continued to kiss down her neck, reaching her collarbone and giving the protrusion a nip, before kissing the sting away.

One hand covered a breast, kneading the flesh with his palm while his mouth took in the opposite nipple. His warm tongue lolled over her hardened peak and he gave a little tug between his teeth, drawing a quiet groan from her mouth. He kissed between the valley of her breasts and up her sternum before his mouth replaced his hand and paid the same attention to her other nipple and breast, his opposite hand now kneading the other.

Stella's breathy, soft moans were music to Jake’s ears. Her noises were soft, delicate because they both knew where they were and how quiet they had to be. As Jake took his time with her, Stella relished on this soft moment. Her skin felt like she was in a bath of fizzy bubbles, tingling and popping with each touch or stroke.

Her hands gently gripped at his spiky, sleep messed hair as she sighed with pleasure, her head tipped back against the pillow as she arched off the mattress into his touch.

Jake continued to make moves downward along Stella's body, her tummy his blank canvas to work her over with. Sporadic kisses over her taught middle, a dip of a tongue in her belly button had her whispering for release but Jake wasn't through with her, no, this was all about Stella and giving her all he could and more.

He was rock hard, his dick visibly straining his sweats and he was grateful he hadn't worn his boxers to bed thanks to them being in the laundry due to them being soaked to the skin the previous night. His body moved along the mattress, as he moved downward over Stella's body, his broad chest now hovering over her hot and wet centre as his lips kissed in a horizontal pattern along the waistband of her panties.

Thick fingers curled around the hips of Stella's underwear and pulled the material away, Stella tilting her hips upward to assist. Jake sat back on his knees as he finished the task, tossing the panties to the floor of her room. It was now, when all he could do was fight back the knot in his belly, the swell of his chest, that his deep blue eyes looked at all of her. And suddenly, he was a little nervous, but desperately needed to feel her.

He toyed with taking his time with her or just going for it, and when Stella spoke to him at just above a whisper he knew his answer.

"Jakey, please."

His sweats were down to his thighs in a snap and he palmed his cock in hand, stroking himself just a little as he lined himself up with her. The feel of her wet outer folds against the velvety head of his cock felt so good and with a brush of pressure to her throbbing clit, Stella gasped and bit her lip.

Jake slipped right inside of her, his arms coming to rest on each side of her head as he pushed deeper in. Both emitting a moan louder than they should have.

"Shhhh," Jake whispered, hovering above her lips. "We gotta be quite, Stelly."

She nodded underneath him, and his hips pulled back and thrust forward, a slow and lazy roll to them. His movements were deep and strong, her body moving with his as his chest slid along her skin with each powerful drive into her he made. 

Stella tilted her hips upward along with her head, capturing Jake's lips so they could swallow each other's calls of desire. With her hip tilt, Jake was able to rub the head of his thick cock against that soft spot inside that made her melt.

There was no hurry but there was a deep intensity to the way they continued to connect. Thrusts and breathy pants, moans swallowed by deep kisses. Stella's walls began to flutter around Jake's shaft as he began to pulse against her insides.

"Oh fuck, Stella," he croaked at her ear. He was close and so was she. 

"So close," she whimpered, as if to affirm what he was already feeling as her hands ran over his spine and back up his neck, her fingers scratching at the base.

They came together with a white hot flash, stars flooding their vision, their cries of love crashing over that cliff swallowed up by a beautiful kiss.

As Jake emptied inside her, he buried his face into the crook of her neck, thankful for the ability to mask the pooled eyes he squinted shut. When he felt he could, he leaned back and saw the two tears that leaked from her own eyes and with the cradle of his palms against her face, his thumbs wiped them away.

Stella saw nothing but tenderness and true love reflected in Jake's eyes. This moment would forever be in her memory bank. Sleeping and being together had been a common occurrence for the two of them, even when they weren’t a couple, but this had felt as intense as it ever had. The way she felt, the way he made her feel, it was her Jakey. The goofy, weird, sarcastic beautiful Jake Jensen she had always loved. The man who made her feel things she could never with anyone else, no matter how hard she'd tried. He was home, he was safety, and his promises for forever had re-stolen her heart.

"I love you." Stella whispered to him.

"I love you, too." he replied softly.

With himself still inside her, he managed to roll the two of them so he was on his back and she led over his body, her knees in either side of his hips. Stella laid her head against his sweat sticky chest, her cheek pressed right against his heart. His fingers ran through her hair as they both fell back asleep for just a little while longer.

****

Later that day, just after lunchtime, Jake walked the short distance back to his parents. He hopped up the steps to the front door and removed his keys from his pocket and let himself in. His timing perfect, as ever, saw him step into the hallway at the exact moment his dad walked down the stairs.

“Oh, you decided to show up then?” John scoffed as he stood looking at his son.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you little shit, your sister told me everything.” John replied, his voice carrying a hint of amusement as he folded his arms.

“Define everything.” Jake grimaced a little and his dad snorted.

“I know exactly what happened in Mexico and why you came home.” John shook his head as he walked past Jensen into the lounge. “Don’t worry, we’re not offended in the slightest you didn’t come here first.”

Jake rolled his eyes as his dad sank into the arm chair, reaching for the TV remote. “It wasn’t on purpose Dad. In my defence, I didn’t really have a grand plan. I had like an hour to make the flight, I didn’t even bring a bag.”

“Yeah, well, by the expression on your face I assume it went well.” John looked at him, a smirk flickering across his face and Jensen grinned.

“Yeah, yeah it did.”

“So, when are you heading back?”

Jensen shrugged. “Not sure, probably in a few days or so.”

“Great.” John pressed a button on the remote, waving his hand towards the door of the room. “Now go tell your mother, she’s gonna be over the moon when she finds out.”

“You didn’t tell her why I was here?” Jake frowned, removing his jacket and tossing it over the arm of the sofa.

“Nope.” John shook his head, his eyes fixed on the Sunday Lunchtime show on the TV. “I didn’t want her to be disappointed if you fucked up. Again. I told her you were doing exercises nearby.”

“Nice to see you had so little faith in me, Pops.”

“Yeah, well, you have a history of colossal fuckups.” John mumbled.

“I know.” Jensen scratched at his chest over his T-shirt. “Hey, Is this the part where you give me the big father-son talk. Again?”

At that John laughed. “I will give you the talk as many times as needed, which in your case is a lot.” His eyes flicked up to Jensen’s and Jake sighed a little.

“I know I was a dick, I still am but I don’t wanna fuck this up again, Dad. She means the world to me and she’s given me a second chance. There won’t be a third, not least because she wouldn’t give me one but she’s not gonna need to.

John turned his eyes to Jake and levelled him with a stern look. “I hope so, son. Your mother and I love that girl as if she was our own kid.

“I love her too.” Jake shrugged. “And that’s all I can say.”

“That’s everything, Son. I’m happy for you.” John smiled, before he nodded towards the door. “Now go tell your mother.”

“She’s totally gonna slap me for not coming here first and going straight to the fake exercise, isn’t she?”

“Straight up murder you.” John nodded. “You know,” he rolled his eyes, “mothers.”

Jake grimaced. “Say nice things at my funeral.”

With his dad’s chuckles ringing in his ears, Jake headed into the kitchen and through to the small laundry room where his mom was busy shoving clothes in the dryer.

“Hey Ma.” He said and she gave a little start of surprise before she spun round, pointing at him.

“Jacob Calvin Jensen!” She blazed and Jake recoiled a little, wincing at her tone. “Why on earth you didn’t come see your mother before going to Exercise? And why aren’t you wearing your uniform?”

“What, why would I be wearing my uniform?” He frowned. ”That’s…whatever, that’s not important. Look, Mom, I didn’t come for an exercise.”

“You didn’t?” His mom frowned as she folded her arms. “Then where the hell have you been?”

“With Stel.” He replied simply.

“Stella?” His mom’s frown deepened. “So is all the team in the area?”

“No, just us.”

“Jake, what’s going on?” His mother demanded, her tone laced with frustration and he sighed.

“I err, well something happened when we were in Mexico and I had to make it right so, I did.”

“In Mexico? What did you do this time, Jake? And what is that you had to make it right? Oh my GOD!” She stuttered as she pressed her hand to her mouth. “Tell me you didn’t get a random Mexican girl pregnant, Jake!

“What? No!” Jake exclaimed, shaking his head. “Besides I was there like two weeks ago, how would I even know if I had?”

His mom immediately started rambling on about him being a dirty little shit and Jake let her continue for a while as she railed at him for whatever imaginary sins he had committed, but when she started on some long winded accusation about him sleeping his way around Cancun he groaned.

“Mom, you’re…you know what, the only person I slept with out there was Stella!”

At that his mom stopped dead, her eyebrows shooting up into her hairline. “What? I thought she was dating that guy she brought for New Years?”

“Look, it’s complicated but I made it right.” He shook his head, wanting to avoid that particular line of questioning. “I told you I came to fix something and I did. Stelly and I are back together.”

Instead of the smile he’d been expecting to spread on his mom’s face at that revelation, instead her brow furrowed once more into a frown and she shook her head, holding up her hand.

“Wait, wait. Back up!” She shook her head. “So you went to Mexico. Had sex. And now you’re back together?”

Jake groaned, “Mom!”

“Don’t ‘mom’ me!” She hissed. “You slept with her whilst she was with that other guy?”

“Yes, but they were breaking up, they have broken up!” He implored, dropping his head a little. “I thought you’d be pleased about it.”

“Of course I am, the pair of you belong together but that doesn’t mean I approve of what you did! You broke them up, on purpose?”

“Oh my God, are you even listening to me?” Jake looked at his mom, shaking his head and at that her face softened a little and she laid a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, yes, I am listening to you sweetheart, I’m just a little confused.”

Jake wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, it is…it’s complicated but, well, it doesn’t matter how and why, Mom, it just happened and, well, I love her. I love her so damn much and she took me back.” His voice dropped a little as he gave his mom a smile, popping one of his shoulders and to his relief he saw her finally smile back at him.

“You’re a lucky little shit you know that?”

Jake grinned. “Yeah, I do. Jules pretty much told me the same thing.”

“And did Jules tell you that if you fuck this up again she’ll kill you with her own bare hands?” His mom looked at him and he nodded.

“Yup. Dad also made his feelings perfectly clear a moment ago and I suspect you’re gonna join the club too.”

“You guessed right.” Janet raised her eyebrows. “And it won’t be a quick death either. It will be slow, and painful.”

“Gee, thanks.” Jake looked up at the ceiling before his mom scoffed a little.

“Well then for your sake you better heed said warnings then, hadn’t you?” She demanded and Jake dropped his eyes to hers before she smiled, and held her arms open. “Come here.”

******

The next day, Monday, was Jules’ birthday. Both families celebrated together as they always did, this time with a meal at an Italian joint and a chocolate cake Stella had made with Janet’s help. They had all chatted and laughed cheerfully over dinner, everyone trying to convince Jules she wasn’t hard to look at for her age and Gracie giggling every time Jake stole a kiss from Stella. Aubrey, however, spent most of the night shooting daggers at Jake before she collared him again when he emerged from the bathroom to issue one final threat. When he assured her said threat was received and understood she’d merely eyed him for a second before she shrugged and wrapped him up into a hug.

Tuesday was a bright sunny day and Jake suggested to Stella that they head out with Sirius for the afternoon and then caught a movie, just the two of them, later that evening before getting an early night ready for their morning flight back to Virginia. As such, the pair of them made their way to the park not far from Jake’s mom and dad’s, Sirius happily trotting besides them until they reached a less busy area and Jake let him off his leash for a run.

“You finished packing, baby?” Jensen asked, before throwing a stick for the large, black dog to fetch. He watched the dog sprint over the lawn of that side of the park before he turned to look at Stella who had remained silent.

“Yes, I guess I am.” She replied softly once she realized he was waiting for her answer.

“You guess?” Jensen wrapped his arm over Stella’s shoulder, pulling her to him before leaving a gentle kiss on her head. “What’s bothering you? You seem concerned about something.”

When she hesitated, Jake suddenly found himself worrying a little as he saw she was clearly unsure of what to say.

“Are you not ready to go back to base again?” He asked, trying to coax the answer out of her, trying to keep his face passive as he asked her out-loud what he was thinking. “Are you worried about Agent Shit-Name?”

“No, not really.” She answered, not a flinch at the mention of her former boyfriend, nor did she bother to pull Jake up on the use of his shitty nickname for the man. Instead, she took a deep breath. “Does this feel different to you? Like us?”

“Different?” Jensen frowned as he looked down to her. “In what way?”

“I really can’t explain it.” She shrugged, her eyes still fixed on a spot beyond the path ahead of them. “Like… there’s more riding on it maybe. If it doesn’t work out this time, then where do we go from there?”

“Is that what is worrying you?” Jake looked at her and she shrugged again and he sighed. “Hey, look, don’t think it won’t work babe, please. I promise you if it comes to me, it will.”

And it was then that Stella looked at him finally, his arm still curled over her shoulder as they walked round the lake with Sirius prancing and sniffing every tree, rock and creature a few meters ahead.

“I mean it, Stelly.” Jake pressed, desperate to get his point across that he wasn’t going to let her down again, to reassure her. “I love you baby and I wouldn’t do anything that risked what we’ve got.”

“I just don’t want this to go the way it did last time, and I believe you, I really do and I love you too.” Stella paused and swallowed before continuing, her eyes studying Jensen’s features. “It’s just, well the reason me and Evan didn’t work was because of you.”

Jensen then opened his mouth to protest but Stella cut him off with a movement of her hand. “I had no chance of being happy with anyone else not whilst you were there and this, well, if we end up that way again then…”

Jake needed no more words, he understood instantly what she was saying. That that was it. If they ever fell apart again, mind you, if he ever fucked up again, there would be nothing left for them. No friendship, no working partners, nothing. And, if he was being honest, that scared the shit out of him.

“This really is our last chance Jake. And that kinda freaks me out.” Stella continued, her voice bringing Jake back from his own thoughts. “But, we gotta try right?” She shrugged, making it look like a casual comment and trying to appear as collected as possible, but her eyes filled as she spoke that last sentence, telling Jake she was anything but.

Jake then stopped them both, and shook his head as he turned to face her. “Then don’t think about that happening.” At that he took a deep breath and cupped her face in his hands. “Look Stel, if anyone’s gotta be scared that would be me.” He felt his voice beginning to crack so he paused for couple of seconds as he softly rubbed Stella’s cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs. “I fucked up so many times before. I know that much and I also know I am a lucky bastard because you took me back.”

Stella shook her head, making him drop his arms to his sides. “We both did stuff that, well, with hindsight was dumb. But, it’s not even like we can take this slow, is it? Not with everything that’s happened, all the history we’ve got.”

“Why not?” Jake shrugged. “Let’s do exactly that. Let’s go right back to the beginning. We’ll date, do fun stuff, build it back from scratch.”

She chuckled, her features finally softening and her eyes sparkling at Jake’s so familiar giddiness. “Back to when?” She grinned. “To you helping me with my books the day we met?”

“Well... maybe not that far.” He grinned back at her as the memories of that day so many years ago warmed his chest. “But, let’s look at this as new. I kinda feel like it is anyway, I mean the other morning…” he trailed off and Stella watch him swallow hard, his throat bobbing slightly. “Fuck Stel, I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing that was. It just felt so special and that spark was there and…” he then paused to take her hands in his. “I don’t know, let’s work with that.”

“It was special, Jake.” Stella nodded, her eyes boring into his. “It was just us loving on each other, knowing that was where we belonged.”

“Exactly.” Jake breathed in as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and made them start moving again. “So let’s just run with it. We can’t keep dragging over all the shit that’s been before if we wanna make it work.”

“I do, I do wanna make it work.” Stella assured him, looking up at him. Her face split into a smile and she beamed at him, all traces of her trepidation seeping away. “Me and you, Jake. No matter what.”

He nodded as he grinned before leaning down to gently capture her lips on his, thanking his lucky stars that conversation had gone the way it had. “Now, I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Wanna head to the bakery and grab some food? I’d kill for a slice of red velvet cake.”

“You’re obsessed with that stuff.” She chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

Jensen shrugged and gave her his signature cheeky grin. “My two weaknesses in one place babe, you and cake.”

He watch her smirk from the corner of his eye as he called Sirius back and clipped on his leash. They headed out of the park and walked a few blocks down to one of their favourite bakeries in their town. The main lunchtime rush was over so thankfully it wasn’t busy and Stella didn’t have wait long outside with Sirius whilst Jensen headed in and grabbed them a sandwich each and then a large piece of his favourite cake and an eclair for her.

Once they’d got their food, they headed back to the park and found a little spot on one of the lawns and settled down to eat. They made small conversation as they ate their sandwiches, which they split as was usual when they were together the first time, Jensen commenting on how he had called Clay that same morning to tell him they were heading back the following morning and to fill him in with the latest update on the so-called “Operation Petunia”.

Despite their earlier decision to start new, they spent most of the meal reminiscing about the highlights of their relationship beginning with the day they met and ending with one of the most infamous moments they had lived together.

And no, contrary to what anyone who knew them might pinpoint, it wasn’t their first break up or any of the last month’s events.

“You have no idea how embarrassing it was to see photos of my boyfriend all over the fucking Army College campus wearing a whipped cream bikini with a banana up his ass.” Stella groaned at the memory, as she unwrapped their sweet treats.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Stel! How many times do I have to tell you it was a bet?” Jensen protested as he lay back on the grass as he thrust his arms dramatically in the air, making Stella roll her eyes.

“How would you feel about seeing photos of me like that?” She smirked as she leaned to poke her index finger on his chest as he cringed at the thought.

“Stel, just don’t, baby.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Stella grinned.

“You would have looked better than I did though.” Jensen quipped as he raised his head and chest, using his elbows now to rest the weight of his body upon, propping himself up.

“Well that goes without saying.”

“Okay, let’s not talk about my most embarrassing moments anymore.” He sat up, reaching for his cake. He took a large bite and groaned, swallowing, before he shoved more in his mouth. “By the way, this red velvet cake is delicious.”

“Is it?” Stella swallowed her own mouthful of éclair and nodded to the cake in Jake’s hand. “Let me try.”

Jensen broke a piece off for her and held it up as if to put it in her mouth but then before thinking twice he shoved it straight at her, mushing it round her nose.

There was a moment where Stella blinked, before she gave a shriek and grabbed a napking. “I fucking hate you.” She spluttered, wiping at her nose.

Jensen was cackling, but he soon stopped when she rammed what was left of her chocolate éclair into his face.

“You know, Estella,” he began to say as he wiped his face and licked the cream off his finger, smirking a little, “you really shouldn’t play with your food.”

“Oh, fuck off Jacob!” She snorted, using his full name as well.

“Oooh so angry, baby.” He mocked her as he dodged the napkin she threw at him.

“Shut up!”

“All right, all right.” He laughed and then looped his arm round her neck pulling her down with him as he leaned back on the grass again, his lips catching hers in a searing kiss.

“God, I love kissing you Stelly.” Jake sighed once they broke the kiss.

“Yeah?” She smiled. “Kinda like kissing you too.” 

**** Chapter 9