#Jack Aubrey the love of my life

[softly-and-suddenly]

I watched Master and Commander for the first time yesterday and this is all I have to say for myself

[thiefbird]

writing bad sex is at least 3x harder than good sex

[thekenobee]

So that's what it is now? obsessing over people who don't exist with a bunch of people you'll never meet okay I'm in

[aestheticaltcow]

What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

A four-part series about a drunken mistake and realizations starring our favorite neurotic chef.

Part 1 - Those are legal?

“I’m sorry, what do you mean ‘I’m married’?” Ellie questioned the FBI agent in front of her. “Well, with Jack’s security clearance, we took his marriage license application very seriously. Elanor Marks, you’ve been married to a man named Carmen Berzatto for the past eight years.”. Ellie turned to look at Jack, who was just as dumbfounded as her, “You two got married in 2016 at Quickie Vows in Las Vegas.” the agent handed Jack a folder. “Here’s all the information, sir.” Jack nodded without saying anything. 

“How did you not know you were married?” Jack laughed as he got into bed that night, “I didn’t think those Vegas weddings were like real marriages.” Ellie sighed, sinking deeper into their mattress. Jack frowned, realizing just how upset his fiance was, “Hey, get over here.” he opened his arms. Ellie sighed and scooted closer to him in bed, “This is one of the things I love about you, Ellie. You’re spontaneous and eclectic. You love life and have never said no to anything.” he kissed her head making Ellie sink deeper into his chest. “When I met you in Germany, I knew you were goin’ be my wife one day. This whole Vegas marriage thing is just a hiccup. I’ll call Bren, and we’ll get all of this figured out… you’ll get your spooky October wedding, I promise.” 

Ellie opened her locker the next morning and shoved her backpack in before sitting on a free chair to change into her non-slip shoes. “There she is, the blushing bride.” Ellie rolled her eyes at her friend’s greeting. “Hey, Maddie.” “You good?” “I’ve been better…”

Maddie shot her a quizzical look. “Wanna talk about it?” Ellie sighed “Do you remember Carmy Berztto?” “Wow, that’s a blast from the past…” “Yeah, that’s what I said… we’ve been married since that Vegas trip.” Maddie was lost for words, “You know what I have to feed my sourdough…” she awkwardly laughed, scratching at the back of her neck. “Lunch break?” Ellie laughed, knowing Maddie wanted to know what had happened that trip “Yes. I have so many questions.”

“CAB, you’re like the best.” “I don’t know ‘bout that, El.” Carmy laughed, taking another swig from his bottle of tequila. Ellie snaked her arm around his waist as the two walked down the Vegas strip. The two found themselves separated from the main group of friends they’d come to Vegas with; it wasn’t something unheard of for the two of them. “You’re a kid but got the fuckin’ James Beard! You’re the best.”Ellie hiccuped. Carmy rolled his eyes, “You’re only like a year older than me, babe.” Ellie giggled and playfully hit his chest. 

The two ended up sitting on the edge of a fountain, exchanging stories of childhood trauma and fears of the future between kisses. “My mom used to call me a whore back in high school-” “You’re my whore…” Carmy whispered as he kissed down Ellie’s jawline, making her giggle and hit his shoulder “You’re so stupid.” “Fuck I love you.” Carmy laughed, burying his head in her shoulder nipping at her collarbone. Ellie giggled and gently tugged at his hair “I fuckin’ love you too.”

In New York, this evening would end in sex on the kitchen floor or the ratty old couch in Carmy’s bare apartment. In Vegas, it was a different story. Neither Carmy nor Ellie realized who’d suggested it, but they found themselves at Quickie Vows. They both went through the motions, thinking it was the funniest joke in the world. The two returned to the group’s Airbnb and went to the backyard to get into the hot tub. The next day, Ellie got the call she’d been waiting for.  She was going to Europe to be a commis chef. After a quick stop in New York, Ellie was off and thought she’d never be back in the States, at least until she met Special Agent Jack Aubrey.

The two met in Germany five years ago; it was love at first sight for Jack. Ellie took a couple of months to warm up. He was everything Carmy lacked; he actively made time to be with her. They weren’t together out of convenience; Jack was proud to be seen with her. He encouraged her to be herself and grow as a person. But of course, Carmy needed to make one last appearance before Ellie could live happily ever after.

[earthtoharlow]

;) SERIES MASTERLIST

PERVIOUS

THESHADEROOM

liked by 19,578 users

theshaderoom: Oh Lord! #JackHarlow opens up in a new interview about where he stands with #Drake and on his marriage to Stacey James!

When asked if they have spoken since the news broke that he had a baby with his famous ex Y/N Y/L, Harlow says “No, we haven’t spoken at all. Frankly, I still don’t have anything to say to him. It’s a fucked up situation but you know what they say “Never meet your heroes” They won't last anyway.

When pressed on if the dms to Y/N were actually him, he says “Not to believe everything you see on the internet, especially from someone as attention seeking as Y/N. For a new mother, she has a lot of time on her hands. "

view all 10,573 comments

user: he do everthing but drop good music ;/

user: boy is sooo hurt

user: it stacey not concerned that her man keeps talking about his ex he claims he hates??????

user: what happened to him? He used to be so sweet

user: This all could've been avoided if he didn't cheat on Y/N

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

liked by selenagomez, icespice, dojacat, meekmill, saweetie, sza, urbanwyatt and 1,031,278 others

champagnepapi: my baby momma realer than a lot of you niggas

comments on this post have been limited

celeb: dude just called us all pussies

celeb: shots to harlow 👀

nickiminaj: look at my baby 😍

celeb: dude won at life

yourinsta: realer than real 🤭 love you daddy

celeb: HIS LOSS

YOURINSTA

liked by icespice, summerwalker, justinbieber, stormreid, chloebailey, drakereated, and 56,026 others

yourinsta: Talk about a throwback! Who would’ve thought this man would be the father of my daughter🥹

view all 10,589 comments

user: it’s the leg kick up for me

user: I hate seeing people live my dreams

user: look at baby Ariel 😍

champagnepapi: Aw man I’ve never seen this 🤣

druski: I thought I had a chance

yourinsta: why would you think that

user: love seeing you so happy

urbanwyatt: haven’t spoken in a while but it makes me smile seeing you so happy

yourinsta: twin 4lyfe 🫶 no matter what

BALLERALERT

liked by 17,073 users

balleralert: uh oh! Drake dropped a new song last night and he had some things to say about Jack Harlow and his wife Stacey James. If you weren’t aware, Jack and Stacey have been shading Y/N Y/L since the news dropped that she was dating and had a baby with the megastar rapper.

view all 6,036 comments

user: aye drake funny as hell

user: nigga said sidebar your husband a groupie 🤣🤣

user: draaaaag him!!!

user: glad he finally said something!

user: Jack deserved this

user: there’s levels to this bar, Jack growing up a huge fan of Drake and then Jack not being able to stop talking about Y/N

user: well, Drake did say he would spin bout y/n

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by kimkardashian, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, joeywagner, yungskylark, urbanwyatt and 686,456 others

thatgirlstacey: No one can break our bond.

Sidebar, Aubrey don’t let have to tell your baby momma that you and I go WAY back.

view all 12,036 comments

user: oh shit

user: bruh y/n will never have peace

user: ok but look how big Willow is now!

user: wish Y/n never got involved with Jack and his messiness

druski: uh 😳

saweetie: if you gonna talk shit about my friend then put a name to it.

user: you a messy bitch fr

user: y’all both groupies

yourinsta: you rang?

user: how y/n name taste since it stay in your mouth

champagnepapi: unlike your husband, I tell my girl the truth about everything 🤨 so she knows everything about me

champagnepapi: oh and @jackharlow who was that white girl you were kissing at the club last weekend in Miami?

user: OMG!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

SURPRISE! I recently hit 600 followers so i decided to make this for you guys as a thank you! Can't believe I have so many of you reading and enjoying my work. I love you guys so much!

this is being posted while i'm on vaction so this is queued post, I can't wait to read all of ya'll reactions when I get back!

I know I said this series was over but let's just pretend I didn't. I'll post a new one whenever I think of more messy drama haha

ENJOY!

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @macey234 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby​ @xxkoolkatxx @itsyagirljaz

NEXT PART

[faustandfurious]

Master and Commander liveblog: Chapters 1-2

Apparently the Locatelli C major quartet that kicks off the entire series isn’t even a real piece of music??? Locatelli exists, but his C major quartet sure doesn’t

I’d honestly forgotten how young they both are at the beginning of the story

I love that the first interaction between these two is Aubrey being excited about music and Maturin being a bit of an asshole. Truly excellent golden retriever/black cat character dynamic

Aubrey’s first impression of Maturin is extremely funny in light of everything that is to come: “The ill-looking son of a bitch, to give himself such airs”

Honestly my only frame of reference for money in this time period is Mr. Darcy with his ten thousand a year, so Jack making 5 pounds 12 shillings per month really puts that amount of money into perspective

Implication that Jack Aubrey slept with Molly Harte?

“I am to be found any morning at Joselito’s coffee-house” Maturin being broke and hanging out in coffee shops is a vibe

“the velvet softness of the April night, and the choir of nightingales in the orange-trees, and the host of stars hanging so low as almost to touch the palms” I’m absolutely in love with these small snippets of atmospheric writing

Teniente (Spanish) = lieutenant

I’ll have to pay more attention to the dates this time around, to keep track of the progression of time and the historical events. Anyway, we have our first time point: 1st April, 1800 - Jack Aubrey is made captain, though he receives the news later the same month

I won’t go into all the naval terminology here, because I don’t actually think that you need to understand every single word in order to get the overall gist of what is happening on the ship, but I’ll try to make some notes every now and then

First-rate = Royal Navy term for the largest warships

“May I propose a cup of chocolate, or coffee?” AUBREY/MATURIN COFFEE SHOP AU

These two being nerds about music gives me so much life

Boccherini (which I’ve actually played on violin at one point)

Upupa epops

Maturin remarking on Aubrey wearing only one epaulette and asking if he has forgotten the other one, and Aubrey saying that he’ll put them both on by and by, because you’re only allowed two epaulettes with at least three years seniority as a captain. Stephen knows jack shit about naval ranks

Well, Captain Harte is a piece of shit

Mr. Baldick really said “there’s too much buggery on board” and Jack is like “I don’t want people to be hanged for being gay”

And here comes the naval terminology

“It’s the price that has to be paid” I don’t know why Jack reflecting on the way his new role as captain sets him apart from the rest of the crew, hits so hard, but it does

Stephen being a language nerd <3

Meanwhile Jack gets putain (whore) and patois (nonstandard language) mixed up

“looking at Stephen Maturin with candid affection”

Stephen does math in Catalan because of course

Phthisis = pulmonary tuberculosis, apparently

“‘Surgeons are excellent fellows,’ said Stephen Maturin with a touch of acerbity” average internist describing surgeons tbh

“and when I told you, some time ago, that I had not eaten so well for a great while, I did not speak figuratively” Stephen Maturin poor little meow-meow confirmed

For the ominous way James Dillon is mentioned by Stephen here, I can’t actually remember from my first readthrough what that was all about

“‘Christ,’ he said at last. ‘Another day.’” Stephen continues to be a mood

The way Stephen thinks Jack sailed without him, as if he would ever do that

First appearance of nickname “Goldilocks”

Jack giving Stephen money in a way which leaves his pride intact is such a sweet moment <3

[randomfoggytiger]

Scully and Matters of the Heart: S1-4

Scully's thoughts on love and relationships.

Fire

So, she shows up knowing the power she has over you and then she makes you walk through fire, is that it? ...Mulder, are you sure you don't need me to help you out on this one?

Gender Bender

Hard to imagine in this day and age someone having sex with a perfect stranger.

Lazarus

We dated for almost a year.... But it was always hard for Jack to relax, it was impossible for him, really. He was always so intense, so relentlessly determined.

Tooms

Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone else but you.

One Breath

Mulder? I had the strength of your beliefs.

Firewalker

["He stopped taking his pills. Yeah, he said that they were polluting his brain. And, he said I was polluting his body.... I just want to go home, now."]

Where's home?

["Anywhere but here."]

Aubrey

Things must be difficult for you now. I've had... feelings for people I've worked with. Inner-office relationships can be complicated-- especially when he's married.

Fearful Symmetry

["Whatever... connection he and I had was over long ago."]

But you asked him, anyway. To help you.

D.P.O.

Well, you don't have to be afraid anymore. You and your husband are safe as long as we can count on your testimony.

The List

Woman gets lonely. Sometimes she can't wait around for a man to get reincarnated.

2Shy

You're more than a monster: you didn't just feed on their bodies, you fed on their minds.

War of the Coprophages

Her name is Bambi? ...Her name is Bambi?

Syzygy

["Must be Detective White."]

If that's the reason we're sticking around, that's your business.

Jose Chung's From Outer Space

["...For, although Diana Leski is noble of spirit and pure at heart, she remains, nevertheless, a federal employee."]

Avatar

["He lives under this misguided notion that silence is strength. He's built a wall to keep everyone out."]

Including you?

["Especially me."]

Is that why you were separated?

Home

["I can tell you don't have no children. Maybe one day you'll learn the pride... the love."]

Unruhe

Why did your sister kill herself, Gerry? What did your father do to her?

The Field Where I Died

["Dana, if um... early in the four years we've been working together, an event occurred that suggested or if somebody told you that we'd been friends together... in other lifetimes, always... would it have changed the ways we looked at one another?"]

Even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day.

Paper Hearts

["You do this full-time-- telling people this kind of news?"]

No, sir, not full-time.

El Mundo Gira

He didn't kill her, Mulder.... Mulder, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think the aliens in this story are not the villains but the victims.

Never Again

This circle: it usually starts when an authoritative or controlling figure comes into my life; and part of me likes it-- needs it, wants the approval-- but then at a certain point along the way I just... y'know.

Memento Mori

For the first time, I feel time like a heartbeat: the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning. The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth but only in its passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart-- look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you-- is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose....

Kaddish

And through all this he hid the ring?

["Even after the war, he hid it. Even from my mother."]

Why?

["Because to him it was a dead relic from a forgotten place. Until the day I told him I was getting married; and for the first time in fifty years, he took out this ring. He said he felt his village was being born again. He knew how much I loved Isaac."]

Unrequited

Mulder, what she has is a simple... hemorrhage brought on by her emotional state.

Max

["Can I buy you a drink?"]

No, it's okay-- I'm with somebody.

Synchrony

Lisa, if you're leaving anything out-- if you're hedging the truth, you could be held accountable if Jason committed a crime.

Small Potatoes

No, I'm seeing a whole new side of you, Mulder.

["Is that a good thing?"]

I like it.

Elegy

I mean, maybe in some drug-addled way she was trying to kill happiness-- Harold's happiness. His love for those women. Trying to destroy something she never thought she'd have again.

Demons

["Why shoot herself and her husband?"]

I can't say definitively; but judging from an almost identical suicide... I believe that the victims were suffering....

Gethsemane

Hey, look, just because I haven't bared my soul to you or to Father McCue or to God doesn't mean I'm not responsible to what's important to me.

["To what? To who? This guy Mulder?"]

Thank you for reading~ Enjoy!

[ilostmyhat-lilkittygirl]

Welcome HAI :3

Hello! I am so glad you're here!!!

🐚-My age is private, all you need to know is that I am under 18.

🐚- I am Filipino but born in America :D

🐚- I can speak fluent English, I can understand Bisaya/Cubeno but can't speak it :,( Same with Tagalog.

🐚- I am a Leo INFP!!!

🐚- MULTISHIPPER :))))

🐚- I am in A LOT of fandoms, but here are a few (Emoji meanings at the bottom)

🐚- Panromantic Asexual :3

🦋= I know A LOT ABOUT SAID FANDOM

🌻= I either dipped my toes in it for a little bit or have already left it (Which basically means "I forgot/don't know a lot of that fandom") BUT I STILL LOVE IT WHEN I SEE IT

⚜️= Either I REALLY REALLY WANT TO JOIN SAID FANDOM or I just joined!!!

SCP Foundation 🦋

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K 🦋

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Welcome to the table 🦋

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I am 1000000000000000000000% sure I am in a million more I don't remember so just ask! I will respond!

My favs (Mention their names and I will go feral) : Jack Bright (NOT ADMIN BRIGHT FCK ADMIN BRIGHT) Alto Clef, Dr. Iceberg, 035, 187, 2085, Kusuo Saiki, Reita Toritsuka (Season 2), Aiura Mikoto, Kokomi Teruhashi, Link, Sans, Chara, Frisk, Undyne, Asriel, Dreamtale Dream Sans, Dreamtale Nightmare Sans, Noelle, twilight, fluttershy, sunset shimmer, starlight glimmer, Natsuki, Bill Cipher, Dipper, Hunter, Marcy, Austin, Basil, Aubrey, Mari, Pavitir, Hobie, RoyalMelon, Pasta man (Clone riggy(Yess, you all suck for hating him)) Rosey, Dark Danno, Alastor, Vox, Stolas, Micheal Afton, Clara Afton, Guiding light, Flashlight, Cure Sky, Cure Prism, Dark Sky, Iris, Carissa, Lyna.

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[johannestevans]

Pirate Media Recommendations

Along with Ryann Fletcher, Kate Heartfield, Juliet Kemp, and F.D. Lee, I'm going to be on the Queer Pirates panel at 3pm this Friday at EasterCon 2023!

Our Flag Means Death and other pirates: a panel discussion including fandom and canon of Our Flag Means Death and other series such as Black Sails. This item will start around 15 minutes after advertised start time to minimise clash with the Opening Ceremony.

You can still sign up for virtual membership of EasterCon here if you'd like to attend online, as there are going to be a great many panels and discussions throughout the con, which are gonna be great.

Coming up to the panel, I thought I'd make a list of some of my favourite pirate and nautical media to point people to, as I'm probably going to mention a bunch of it on the panel and this is a particularly fierce interest of mine!

So for Our Flag Means Death, we know that it's an interpretation of the historical relationship between Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet as a romance - two other famously queer pirates were of course Anne Bonny and Mary/Mark Read. I'm personally super excited to see if these figures will feature in Our Flag Means Death S2.

Podcast Episodes & Videos:

Ching Shih: The Pirate Queen, from Puppet History

The True Story of a Pirate Queen, from Ruining History

A History of Gay Pirates with Rebecca Simon, on the PRIDE Podcast -

Sailing Through Queer Pirate History with Rebecca Simon, on the PRIDE Podcast

Pirate Queens with Rebecca Simon, on the PRIDE Podcast

Were Some Pirates Poofters?, from the History is Gay Podcast - Going through Anne Bonny, Mary Read, Calico Jack, and Pierre Bouspet.

Queerness in the Golden Age of Piracy, from Queer as Fact

Books & Essays:

FICTION: The Aubrey-Maturin Series, by Patrick O'Brian - The Aubreyad is not about pirates, but is a nautical-historical series of 20 books set in the 1800s. I love these books a lot, they're ridiculous and very homoerotic with a lot of background gay dynamics - you can absolutely infer a romance between Captain Jack Aubrey, a hot slab of beef, and his doctor, Stephen Maturin. They're funny and they're rich with nautical descriptions, really immersing you into the language and feel of the period and the sensation of being on these vessels. While I'm not holding these books up as a bastion of queerness compared to other texts, Maturin is a fervent abolitionist and despite being a member of Aubrey's crew is actually vehemently anti-colonialist in his views, and those discussions do play out on paper again and again. Because of their realism these books do kind of poke a hole in the naval officers being held up as inherently noble or honourable, and particularly regularly criticises the actions and ideas of the state.

FICTION: J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan - I love Peter Pan, and obviously I talk and blog about it a lot. What's particularly dear to my heart is the relationship between Hook and Smee, which is such an intimate marriage even though it's not explicitly described as such, and it makes me very emotional. This book was written at the beginning of the 20th century, and I do want to warn anyone before going in about the racism inherent - the text treats the existence of the Natives to Neverland as part of an "adventure", and there's also anti-Black racism toward many of Hook's crew, as well as the description of Hook himself as "swarthy" despite being a white Etonian. Peter Pan is a story about working class white children in London whose parents has dreams of them ascending to middle class, and the children's fears of growing up are heavily influenced by economic anxiety, but also they desire a return to a time when as young white kids "adventure" would have been more accessible to them, as is typical in the classic adventure novel.

FICTION: Peter Darling, by Austin Chant - The Lost Boys say that Peter Pan went back to England because of Wendy Darling, but Wendy is just an old life he left behind. Neverland is his real home. So when Peter returns to it after ten years in the real world, he’s surprised to find a Neverland that no longer seems to need him. The only person who truly missed Peter is Captain James Hook, who is delighted to have his old rival back. The oft-recommended trans man!Peter Pan/Hook romance novel. Please don't talk to me about this one as I haven't and can't read it for some personal trigger readings, but it's recommended all over and is well-loved for a reason!

FICTION: Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island - Treasure Island is of course, one of the archetypal adventure novels. What a lot of people might not know is that the TV series Black Sails is a prequel to Treasure Island! If you enjoyed Our Flag Means Death, you might be delighted to realise that the real life pirate Israel Hands features in Treasure Island, and fights with Jim Hawkins, the protagonist.

NON-FICTION: Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition: English Sea Rovers in the Seventeenth-Century Caribbean, by B.R. Burg - In Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition, historian B. R. Burg investigates the social and sexual world of these sea rovers, a tightly bound brotherhood of men engaged in almost constant warfare. What, he asks, did these men, often on the high seas for years at a time, do for sexual fulfillment? Buccaneer sexuality differed widely from that of other all- male institutions such as prisons, for it existed not within a regimented structure of rule, regulations, and oppressive supervision, but instead operated in a society in which widespread toleration of homosexuality was the norm and conditions encouraged its practice.

ESSAY: Our Flag Means Death and Queer Utopias at Sea, an essay by Seth LeJacq

TV Series:

Our Flag Means Death - Of course, duh! Our Flag Means Death, a queer romcom interpreting the historical relationship between Stede Bonnet, the Gentleman Pirate, and Edward Teach, Blackbeard, as a romance.

Black Sails - A "gritty" and brutal prequel to RL Stevenson's Treasure Island, exploring the tales of Long John Silver and how he came to be what he ultimately is in Treasure Island. There is a lot of gay shit in this and it's extremely anti-imperial in its outlook - with that said, I'm personally not a great fan of Black Sails to watch, for me personally it's either too upsetting or too dull to stick with, oscillating between the two extremes. If you haven't tried it and do want to, I do recommend sticking through at least the first season and seeing if you get into it! With that said, it's got particularly brutal onscreen treatment of its WOC, especially Max, a Black woman who is violently raped onscreen (as well as onscreen abuses of other women), and I would recommend treading with caution if this is something that will be difficult to watch.

Neverland - This miniseries is near and dear to my heart - it's not huge on the pirates, but it actually has Bob Hoskins reprising his 1991 role as Smee, and I find it to be an interesting and quite different exploration of the Peter Pan prequel that really explores class some. More importantly, it actually has Natives playing Natives, and features Q'orianka Kilcher as Aaya!

Movies:

Love, Death, & Robots: Bad Travelling (2022) - This is a short film that's part of the LD&R series, and it's really good nautical horror. That's all there is to it.

Master and Commander (2003) - Taika Waititi said this movie is his favourite romance movie, and he's so fucking right. Anyway, this movie is based off the first five of Patrick O'Brian's Aubreyad, and it's so loving and so gay.

Treasure Planet (2002) - There are so many adaptations of Treasure Island, but this is my favourite every single time, it's just so well-done, it's so full of care, it really captures the wonder and excitement of sailing and the sense of freedom, and honestly? Jim Hawkins is sooooo transmasculine, he even has an ugly shitty mullet haircut and a little gold earring, he is the blueprint, he is perfect. If piracy in space tickles your fancy, I also might recommend Space Pirate Captain Harlock (2013).

Pirates of the Carribean: The Black Pearl (2003), Dead Man's Chest (2006), and At World's End (2007) - Listen. Are there technically other POTC movies? Yes. Should you watch them? Oh, fuck no. I have seen On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales/Salazar's Revenge and let me tell you: you do not have to, you do not need to, and you do not want to. On Stranger Tides tried to tell me that Hector Barbossa fell in love with a woman. My man. Hector Barbossa. A woman!? Please! Anyway, I grew up on these movies and unfortunately they are overwhelmingly and unrealistically white - there are some really cool characters of colour and I especially love Tia Dalma. Remember not to watch these movies legally, by the way - watch them on an old cheap DVD or do some piracy yourself. Fuck Johnny Depp.

The Pirates of Penzance (1983) - This is an adaptation of the Gilbert and Sullivan opera, and it is so over the top, so ridiculous, so much fucking fun. Kevin Kline has some of the sexiest fits in this movie and so much thick, thatched chest hair, and the music is good, many of the jokes still land, and it's just fun.

Peter Pan (2003) - Don't watch the Disney Peter Pan. Never watch it, it's garbage, it's ugly, it invented a bunch of anti-Native racism that isn't in the already racist original text, and you know, fuck Disney. Is the 2003 Peter Pan perfect? No. But is it better? Yes. Jason Isaacs is so hot as Hook, and while I am not the biggest fan of PJ Hogan's take on the book that's all about Wendy wanting to fuck her own dad on top of cutting the Hook/Smee dynamic back significantly, the Neverland aesthetics and the silly piratical ones are a lot of fun.

Hook (1991) - Spielberg's sequel to Peter Pan is glorious for one reason and one reason only: Dustin Hoffman and Bob Hoskins were like, "hey, these two dudes are married. They're old queens in love!" and they played it like that, and they were so fucking right. Hoffman's Hook is so queer and so effete and so incredibly mentally ill and he is the biggest mood throughout, as is Smee trying to keep them both alive. I adore this movie to death, I really do.

Down Periscope (1996) - Okay. So. This movie is a little bit different. It's not set in the Golden Age of Piracy or even just after it - it's set in the 1990s, and is about a Yank Naval Captain doing wargames with other members of the navy. With that said, it's got a lot of pirate hijinks and a lot of found family dynamics with a lot of freaks and neurodivergents packing the crew - note that there's some misogynistic harassment in this for the only female crew member, but she's one of my favourite characters and she's so much fun, much like the rest of the crew. Listen. The captain has a tattoo on his dick. They all dress up as pirates while making one of their crew members walk the plank. Their ending credits feature the cast dancing and singing along with the Village People, to the iconic gay anthem, In The Navy. It's good, I swear.

And I've tried a bunch of pirate videogames, but none of them has measured up to Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag. Unfortunately, this game is an Assassin's Creed game and all the AC plot stuff sucks, because that's what AC games are for.

When it's not doing their terrible meta plot in the "real world", though, this game has such excellent gameplay, it's great fun, and the soundtrack is tremendous. Even if you don't play the game, absolutely consider giving the sound track a listen, because it's just great!

An old album I would recommend is also the Robert Shaw Chorale Sea Shanties one! It's from 1960, and they do some really fun arrangements of different sea shanties - their Drunken Sailor is one of my absolute favourites!

If you'd like to see a different take on the sea shanties and would still love some more space piracy, I would also recommend Once Upon A Time (in Space), by the Mechanisms!

My Stuff

And separate to the general rec list above, here's some of my work that's relevant to my takes on queer pirates, and why I'm on the panel:

Communicating Want, by me, DictionaryWrites - 75k, rated E, Frenchie/Izzy. Izzy's just so buttoned-up, how is Lucius supposed to resist the urge to seduce him? It doesn't go well. Just a silly thing exploring sexual trauma and stuff with Izzy Hands! Love that bitch.

Our Flag Means Death S01 E01: Close Textual Analysis — Examining OFMD E1: Pilot in close detail and liveblogging/analysing the text. On Medium / / On Patreon.

Gerald Poole and the Pirates - A distinctly queer adventure full of internal conflict ensues when a gentleman and a sailor are captured by pirates. Read on Medium: Part I / / Part II / / Part III / / Part IV / / Buy as an eBook on SmashWords, $2.99 / Buy as an eBook from Amazon.

The Coffin at Sea — 400w. A vessel picks up a coffin afloat at sea. On Medium / / On Patreon.

The Pirate Accountant — 4.5k, rated M, MB. A quartermaster works up the nerve to finally mount a seduction on their accountant. Dark humour and biting banter throughout, between an exceedingly cautious and paranoid accountant and the quartermaster who’s finally worked up the courage to ask him out. On Medium / / On Patreon.

Saint Jude’s Kitchen — 20k, Rated M, MB. After an injury stops him working, a failing deckhand gets a new lease on life. Themes around cooking and nurturing, identity and sense of self, and complex family dynamics. Adapted from a TweetFic. On Medium / / On Patreon.

[windermeresimblr]

OC Obscure Associations Tag

I was tagged by @treason-and-plot! Thank you, Pru! Of course I chose Alasdair.

Animal: Badger. Colors: Green, blue, and red. Month: May (he's a softie and loves to see flowers blooming and the world returning to life, shhh.). Songs: I always associate him with the Master and Commander version of "Musica notturna della strade di Madrid," because it's just such a lovely piece and he originally began life in my head as a companion to Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin. (And perhaps one day he might play a duet with a certain Spanish bluestocking…) And--this is a touch self-indulgent--"Chì mi na mòrbheanna", specifically for a loose translation of one line that goes "in the hunts of the deer shall I roam." Never mind that poor Alasdair doesn't like deer! Number: 8. Plants: Tulips. Smells: I'm hopeless at smells, so consider this a freebie! Gemstone: Freshwater pearls. Time of Day: Early morning. Season: Spring. Places: The loch by the McCarrics' house; his mamma's townhouse in London from when he was a boy; in the forest when sun shines through the canopy. Food: White soup, as in Pride and Prejudice. Drinks: Mulled wine. Element: Earth. Astrological Sign: Aquarius. (This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius / Age of Aquarius / Aquarius…) Seasonings: Mustard, ginger, marigold blossoms Sky: Dawn breaking through the clouds, followed by a wild stormy sky. Weather: Clear and bright; whether sunny and mild in the springtime or brisk and chill in the autumn, he doesn't have much preference. Magical Power: Time travel, of course! (Also he has some psychic ability…he is a very, very good guesser.) Weapon: A claymore. Social Media: He doesn't have one. If he were in the modern era, he'd have an Instagram focused solely on his beloved, spoiled rotten Scottie dog Wee Lassie and her antics, where he would make appearances only as a hand giving her treats or petting her. Make-up Product: None, though as a teen his mother would hold him down and wash his face with all kinds of concoctions to "fix his pimples." This did not work, but fortunately our Alasdair is a handsome man anyways! Method of Long-Distance Travel: Ship. Art Style: He's in the weeds of the 18th and 19th-century Academic style, but I think he'd like the Preraphaelites. I think he'd also love the Fauvists. Fear: Deer (though he'd never admit that), losing control (sorry buddy) Mythological Creature: Centaur. Piece of Stationary: Sealing-wax. When he was a child he would play with bits of sealing-wax, rolling them into balls, squashing them, etc. More than once he burnt his fingers trying to melt it. Three Emojis: He's from the Regency. Modern Alasdair: 🦡🐴🐶 Celestial Body: The Pleiades.

[lonesomedreamer]

‘How lucky I am: sometimes it terrifies me. Dearest Jack…’ Her inner eye filled with a brilliant image of Jack Aubrey, tall, straight, cheerful, overflowing with life and direct open affection, his yellow hair falling over his post-captain’s epaulette and his high-coloured weather-beaten face stretched in an intensely amused laugh... Never was there anyone with whom she had had such fun – no one had ever laughed like that.

☸

Stephen would have seen Sophie only a few weeks ago, perhaps even less; he would certainly have messages from her, perhaps even a letter. [Jack] put his hand secretly to the crinkle in his bosom, and lapsed into a reverie.

☸

Sweetheart, We drank your health three times three on Monday; for the fleet tender brought us orders while we were polishing Cape Sicié, together with the post and your three dear letters, which quite made up for us being diddled out of our cruise. And unknown to me it also brought a copy of The Times with our announcement in it; which I had not yet seen, even.

I had invited most of the gun-room to dinner, and that good fellow Simmons brought it out, desiring to drink your health and happiness and saying the handsomest things about you – they had the liveliest recollection of Miss Williams in the Channel, all too short, were your most devoted, etc., very well put. I went red as a new-painted tompion and hung my head like a maiden, and upon my honour I was near-hand blubbering like one, I so longed for you to be by me in this cabin again – it brought it back so clear.

☸

‘Mend your pace, Sophie. Come come. You would never grow fat as a scrivener. Cannot you spell hyperbole? Is it done at last, for all love? Show.’

‘Never,’ cried Sophie, folding it up.

‘I believe you have put in more than ever I said,’ said Stephen, narrowing his eyes. ‘You blush extremely.’

☸

Jack handed Sophia out and cried, ‘Sophie, my dear, jump in. God bless you.’

‘God bless you and keep you, Jack. Make Stephen wrap himself in the cloak. And remember, forever and ever – whatever they say, forever and ever and ever.’

☸

...Stephen walked into the cabin. It was filled with a rosy smile, with contentment and the smell of porter; Jack sat there at his table behind a number of opened letters from Sophia, two glasses and a jug. ‘There you are, my dear Stephen,’ he cried. ‘Come and drink a glass of porter, with the Irish Franciscans’ compliments. I have had five letters from Sophie, and there are some for you. […] What a splendid hand she writes, don’t you find?’ said Jack. ‘You can make out every word. And, really, such a style! Such a style! I wonder how she could have got such a style: they must have been some of the best letters that were ever wrote. There is a piece here about the garden at Melbury and the pears, that I will read to you presently, as good as anything in all literature.’

☸

‘[A]nd then again, you know, I do so long to be married! The idea of being married drives a man, by God: you can have no idea. Married to Sophie, I mean…’

☸

‘Ah, that is Sophie from clew to earring,’ cried Jack, with such a radiant smile. ‘Can you imagine a sweeter thing to say? And such modesty, do you see? As if anyone could look at Diana after – however,’ he said, recollecting himself and looking deprecatingly at Stephen, ‘I don’t mean to say anything wrong, or uncivil. But not a reproach, not an unkind word in the whole letter – Lord, Stephen, how I love that girl.’ His bright blue eyes clouded, ran over, and he wiped them with his sleeve.

☸

He is a deep old file, and I do not pretend any great penetration; but I love him more than anyone but you…

☸

He was sitting at his desk in his cabin… writing to Sophie ‘the sword of honour they have presented me with is a very handsome thing, in the Indian taste, I believe, with a most flattering inscription; indeed, if kind words were ha’pence, I should be a nabob, and oh sweetheart a married nabob.’

☸

Sophie dear, here is the prettiest thing in the world – John Company is stuffing the ship with treasure – you and I are to get freight, as we say… No vast great thumping sum, but it will clear me of debt and set us up in a neat cottage with an acre or two. So you are hereby required and directed to proceed to Madeira forthwith and here is a note for Heneage Dundas who will be delighted to give you a passage… Lose not a moment: you may knit your wedding-dress aboard. In great haste, and with far greater love, Jack.

☸

‘Good morning, Jack. I have Miss Williams here. Will you come across?’

The boat splashed down, half-filling in the choppy sea; it pulled across; Jack leapt for the side, raced up, touched his hat to the quarterdeck, crushed Dundas in his arms, and was led to the cabin, wet, ablaze with joy.

Sophie curtseyed, Jack bowed; they both blushed extremely, and Dundas left them…

Endearments, a hearty kiss. Endless explanations, perpetually interrupted and re-begun…

☸

‘I tell you what, Sophie,’ cried Jack. ‘I have a parson aboard! I have been cursing him up hill and down dale for a Jonah, but now how glad I am: he shall marry us this morning.’

‘No, my dear,’ said Sophia. ‘Properly, and at home, and with Mama’s consent, yes – whenever you like. […] The minute we get home, you shall marry me in Champflower church, if you really wish it. But if you don’t, I will sail round and round the world with you, my dear.’

☸

Breakfast, with Dundas…insisting on a rehearsal of the action with Linois, was a long, rambling meal, with dishes pushed aside and pieces of toast representing ships, which Jack manoeuvered with his left hand, holding Sophia’s under the table with his right, and showing the disposition of his line at different stages of the battle, while she listened with eager intelligence and a firm grasp of the weather-gauge.

[softly-and-suddenly]

[thekenobee]

Girls, forget about Mr Darcy's proposal

This is the only way I could find the offer acceptable-

[thiefbird]

🌹

Here are a few snippets of dialogue from My Heart and Eyes Have Erred, a far-off addition in So Long Lives This 'verse where Diana and Sophie find out that Jack and Stephen have been carrying on an affair since before either of their marriages (ik this is stretching the game but you're not getting such well-written stuff bc its just dialogue also i do what i want)

First, a snippet of Sophie and Jack's conversation:

Sophie: I know you love him. You’ve told me yourself countless times - “I love him more than anyone but you” you wrote me, from India, even! - am I so very foolish? [more upset again] Did you pride yourself on pulling the wool over my eyes?! Jack: Sweetheart… Sophie: [turns back to face him more slowly] I will not ask you to choose between us, Jack, but by God if the children must see you hanged-! [chokes on a sob] Oh, I could not bear it…

and second, for comparison, Diana and Stephen's:

Diana: [voice deadly quiet, hissing through clenched teeth ] Did you tire, my dear, of playing a man? Did it lose its charms at last? You are rich enough; you could fund Aubrey’s divorce and annul our own bonds, if you wanted to be his wife. I should respect you more if you did - give up this absurd freemartin act and accept the hand you were dealt, like every other woman alive. Stephen: [stricken] I would never - you are my wife, Diana. I would change nothing of our life together, were it in my hands. Diana: And therein lies the problem - you want to have your cake and feed it to Aubrey, too. God-[cuts herself off to smother a sob] -I hate you.

[hotchbian]

criminal minds Q&A (Qs from @/concretemercy on twitter)

who’s your favourite character? hotch, emily and spencer are my big 3 but if i had to choose between them.. i think hotch

which season is your favourite? early seasons >>>>> but more specifically i think season 4! although 3 and 5 are close too, that whole era has some of the most interesting cases and as devastating as it is i love the focus on hotch’s home life both pre and post haley’s death

who (in your opinion) is the most underrated character? i’m not mega attached to any of the characters who filled emily’s place in the seasons she was away but i did rly like kate callahan!! i’m surprised she’s not talked about more, she’s such a cool character imo and her storyline with her niece is also underrated!

who (in your opinion) is the most overrated character? this is a hard one but i think i’d have to say rossi? there’s several reasons why i dislike him a bit compared to other characters but he just felt like quite a step down from gideon and i just feel like his personality and backstory have less substance and are less interesting compared to the others’?

who’s your favourite cast member? SOOO difficult i love them all 😭 i think thomas’s acting skills are seriously underrated, i rly don’t believe many actors can achieve the duality between hotch and david from love and human remains as successfully as thomas does,, equally i loveee paget she’s such a sweet incredible soul 🫶 also bonus: aubrey plaza one of my #1 celeb crushes 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 she plays cat so well 😫

if you could change one thing in a plot what would it be? rossi being canon racist in his youth.. but if we’re talking more major (?) plot points i think maeve’s death - everyone agrees spencer suffers by far the most trauma throughout the years and i think it would’ve been nice for maeve to have survived and for her and spencer’s relationship to have progressed further, just to add a little sprinkle of consistent joy into his life :(

your favourite canonical ship? does garvez count as canon or not.. bc it is in my mind

your favourite non-canonical ship? i’m not much of a shipper i think bc the team feels like such a found-family i cant imagine their relationships to be anything other than platonic but.. i might go niche and say elle x emily (ellily? emme? emelle? idk) bc i think if they ever met emily would have the maddest crush on her lmao (i need them to meet, pls let them meet one day 😫)

favourite episode? again crazy difficult but i have to say 100.. literally not a day goes by where i don’t think about that episode, it’s television and acting perfection (thomas being the most talented actor ever strikes again) bonus #2: seven seconds (the one where the aunt is the unsub of the girl that goes missing in the mall) is also perfection, the tension throughout it is insane, i could write essays about it

favourite quote? the scene where hotch and will are talking about a victim who was the will’s closeted co-worker and will says “icb he flew hundred of miles to be someone else” and hotch replies “no he flew hundreds of miles to be himself” 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 hotch my little ally

why did you start watching the show? one of my school friends loved it and convinced me to watch it bc a family friend had given us her prime video log in but i only got through season 1 until i got logged out so i went two years without watching it until i subscribed to disney+ at the start of this year and picked up where i left off

have you watched criminal minds more than once? i finished my first watch-through a month ago and i went straight into rewatching it all the next day! so i’m currently at s3 on my first rewatch :)

what is the most heartbreaking scene from the show? the entirety of 100 is the obvious answer for me but also when derek faces his abuser (both times) and ofc “he was alive yesterday?”.. mgg your directing destroys me

favourite scene? too many.. any moments between hotch and jack, jj’s wedding, emily’s return from death, derek telling spencer that hank’s middle name is spencer ❤️‍🩹

when did you start watching the show? watched s1 in late 2020/early 2021, had a two year break and picked it back up in early 2023

favourite cast photo? my bffs 🤭

17. have you watched the spin offs? cm: evolution (if that counts as a spin off?) yes, the others no, i was planning on watching beyond borders but it’s not top of my watchlist priorities

18. who’s the best unsub? cat.. i feel so evil for loving her (that’s just what aubrey plaza does to me ig)

19. what was the most terrifying case? the only case i’ve been so genuinely scared of i’ve had to look away from my screen is the capilanos (the mgg directed killer clown episode), but i also love that ep bc spencer mentions a village near my hometown lmao

20. whose death was the hardest to watch? haley’s ofc and maeve’s

21. is there a character you can’t stand? when he was first introduced i didn’t like will and i was like.. why would jj like him of all ppl (i think i just found his accent and bad flirting annoying 😭) BUT i love them together now, they’re rly cute especially in s16

this took way longer than i expected 😭

[peonierose]

Rosé all Day

Characters involved: Luna Auclair (F!OC), Keiki Lahela (F!MC), Evie Auclair (F!OC), Soraya Auclair (F!OC), Meilani Leahi (F!OC) and Bryce Lahela (M!MC)

Summary: It’s Maxines birthday on February 14th, but Luna knows that Maxine doesn’t like Valentine‘s day. So she and the girls spend some quality time together. Drinking eating, and playing some games.

Words: 3,600+

Rating: General. A few innuendos but nothing too bad.

A/N: I’m participating in the Valentine’s Day celebration by @choicesficwriterscreations 💓

Side note: Thanks to @annieruok94 for proof reading 💚

I’m getting ready to host a night of games and drinks. Sadly non-alcoholic for me. Yeah, the story of my life. At least for the next remaining month.

Tonight’s Maxis birthday. Yes,my best friend‘s birthday is on February 14th. On valentine‘s day. She doesn’t like Valentine’s Day so we’ll have a quiet night in with the girls. I did make her something. Even though she said no birthday gifts.

I stare at the rectangle gift I wrapped up earlier. All in pink. With a glittery satin bow on top.

I grin to myself as I hear the doorbell ring and put down the basket of freshly baked pizza bites and garlic bread I made earlier.

I open the door. And see it’s Maxi in leather shorts and a burgundy shirt, topped with scuffed up red Dr. Martens.

Some of her colorful tattoos peeking out. She’s holding a bottle of rosé in her right hand and a box of fruit for me in her left one.

”The woman of my dreams brings me a fruit bowl. Thank you milady.“

”Seriously? Another Bridgerton reference?“

I grin at her.

”It’s a great show. Even Adam likes it. Maybe on your third date, you can subtly suggest tuning into Bridgerton?“

Maxine just snorts.

”Yeah sure. I’ll suggest it, but no promises sugarplum.“

I sigh and hold the fruit bowl close to my chest. Ever since I got pregnant, I’ve been craving fruit. It’s insane. One night I had Bryce run out in boxer shorts to buy some watermelon and bananas. He was like here you go and went back to sleep. I grin at that memory.

I smile at Maxi.

”You’re a godsend you know that?“ I say and together we walk toward the kitchen. Me at a slower pace than Maxi.

”So who’s coming tonight?“ she asks and hops on the counter stealing a grape from the charcuterie board.

I slap her hand.

”No trying the goods. Those are for later,“ I say laughing.

She grins like the Cheshire cat and takes another one.

”To answer your question. Soraya, Evie, Meilani, Keiki and I. I asked Aubrey too. But she has a surgery so she can’t make it. Keiki will join us later,“ I say grinning.

Maxi catches on.

”Does she have a new guy in her life?“ Maxi hops off the counter and goes to the fridge to get herself a bottle of mint water.

I shrug.

”I have no idea. If she does? Then she’s keeping it to herself. I think she’s still hurt after Dylan broke things off over a text on her prom night. Sure Bryce took her and they had a great time. But I think she’s just careful,“ I say, pouring the rosé into glasses and assembling them on the counter one by one.

Maxi nods.

”Yeah that was a dick move. Seriously. I don’t get it. But hey Keiki is an amazing girl. Who’s in her second in college, to become a vet. And she’s going to find an amazing guy I’m sure,“ she says.

I glance at Maxi and then get the gift and put it behind my back.

She eyes me with suspicion.

”What? I swear to god if that’s a present behind your back…“

I wiggle my eyebrows.

”You’re going to what? I’m pregnant you can’t do jack shit.“

Maxine almost chokes on her bubbly drink.

”Why do you keep insisting on giving me presents sugarplum?“ Maxine asks me, her tone gone softer.

I shrug and reveal the pink glittery wrapped present behind my back.

”Because I love you and I wanted to give you something. It’s nothing big I promise.“

I give her the gift and she puts her mint water to the side.

She stares at the pink wrapping paper and then tears the wrapping to reveal a photo album I made.

She looks up at me. At a complete loss for words.

”Oh Lu.“ She asks and opens the photo album and goes through all the pages.

It starts with a quote

”There are many people to be close to. But no one is like you. That’s why I love you.“

She smiles and turns the page.

It’s pictures from all the years we’ve been friends. From bubble baths together, complete with champagne and chocolates. To us eating pizza and malasadas. Acting like complete dorks.

When she doesn’t say anything and just keeps turning the pages of the photo album I get a little nervous.

”I looked everywhere for the perfect present, so when I came short I just printed out all the photos we’ve ever taken together and put them together in an album.“

I nervously play with my engagement ring.

She looks up, puts the photo album aside and gives me a hug, careful not to crush me since I’m 8 months pregnant.

When we break apart she looks at me. Her eyes radiating joy and happiness.

”I’m so glad we’re friends. You have no idea. And this gift you made me? It’s so special, it’s the most beautiful gift I’ve ever gotten.“

She picks up the photo album again and points to a page with a hand painted sunset at Waikiki beach, where we sit side by side with our backs to the camera.

”You hand painted this. That‘s incredible. The time you took to make this. I said no presents but boy am I glad you still gave me one. Damn I love you sugarplum.“

”Love you too Maxi.“

We hug again and smile at each other. I’m happy I could make Maxi happy on her birthday.

We talk amongst each other when I hear the doorbell ring again.

Maxi waves me off before I can get it.

”I got it. You just finish whatever that is,“ she motions to me.

I’m making the fruit into star-shaped little snacks. So what? It looks cute.

Ever eaten a piece of mango or watermelon that looks like a star or a heart? Adorable.

When Maxi comes back I see Evie in a green spaghetti strapped dress.

Soraya in ripped jeans and a shirt, followed by Meilani who looks super cute in a flower print dress.

Meilani is also my Ob-gyn, she works together with Bryce and Aubrey at the Kuakini Medical Center here in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Both Soraya and Meilani are holding hands and stealing looks when they think no one is looking. So cute.

I smile at everyone.

”Hi guys. I’m so glad you could all make it tonight,“ I say and hug everyone.

”Sor I gotta say you’re perfume is quite strong. But you look very pretty,“ I say.

Sor groans.

”You know I changed my perfume twice because you said it’s too strong. I’m not changing this one,“ she says grinning.

”That’s okay. I think this one is less strong than the other two,“ I say and everyone gets seated around the table in the kitchen.

”Thank god for small miracles,“ Soraya grins at me.

Evie who’s holding a pink box in her hands gestures to Maxi who’s standing next to her and groans.

Everyone smiles.

Soraya and Meilani come closer too.

”You didn’t think we’d forget your birthday did you? You’re family. So we’re going to celebrate whether you like it or not.“ Evie grins.

I get out plates for everyone in the kitchen.

Maxi smiles reluctantly and opens the box.

Inside is a round cake. The cake is adorned with pink, purple and yellow edible flowers and topped with white frosting. And the cake says ”Happy Birthday Maxine.“

Maxi looks up and she’s close to tears I can tell.

”Aunt Grace made the cake. We just put it in a box.“ Evie says and winks at me. I grin. My mom sure knows how to make a good cake.

Meilani gets out matches and birthday candles.

She and Soraya put them on the cake and light the candles.

”Make a wish babe.“

I say and Maxi holds her hair to the side so it doesn’t catch on fire. She closes her eyes and blows out her candles in one go.

We all cheer and give her hugs and kisses.

”Thank you. You really know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday. Which happens to be on February 14th.“

We all grin and take out some bubbly and cake, and some snacks from the charcuterie board I made, and move to the living room.

I love the charcuterie board I assembled. I have to say I’m pretty proud of all the cheeses, fruits, and crackers. It looks like, dare I say it, a piece of art? I chuckle.

Comfortable is all I really need these days. Sitting down on the couch? Yes please! Carrying twins is a lot more straining than I thought, but I wouldn’t trade it in for anything in the world.

The others find a comfortable sitting position too. Keiki and Maxi were on one end of the couch, and Evie joined me. Soraya and Meilani sit together.

I look at my friends and family and am so happy we‘re all here together.

”I’m really glad we got to get together,“ Evi says while taking a sip of rosé and a bite of cheese.

”So any juicy stories? What have I missed?“ I ask around.

Maxi splutters her drink on herself.

”What your sex life not entertaining enough?“ Maxi asks.

”Oh it is. The other day we tried…“ I say and hear the door slam as Keiki walks inside just to catch the last sentence of our conversation.

”Can we please not talk about your sex life? Please. I’m already spending way too much time at my friend's Lexi’s house. Aubrey said it’s as if I’m living at their place. So please no sex stories,“ she says and joins us.

Keiki grabs a ball of cheese and a glass of rosé and moves to Maxi to give her hug.

”Happy Birthday Maxi.“ She says and Maxi hugs her back.

”Thanks Keiki.“

I smile at Keiki out of the corner of my eye.

”Yeah. What’s up with that? Anything you want to share Keiks?“ I ask innocently.

”Bryce warned me about that look,“ Keiki says.

I grin.

”What look? I’m just asking. About your not-boyfriend?“ I say grinning and sipping on my hibiscus lemonade.

”I…went on a date. But it was just one date. Please don’t make a big thing out of it,“ Keiki says and looks at all of us.

”We’d never do anything that’ll make you feel weird,“ Meilani says and the others nod.

”Mei is right. You’ll tell us when you’re ready. And when you do? We’ll all want to meet him. And I can’t wait to ask him all the questions,“ I say.

Keiki sighs.

”No! You and my brother will turn it into the Spanish inquisition,“ she says.

I laugh.

”We’ll be nice. Maybe,“ I add.

”Just stop it, Mooney,“ Evie interjects while munching on a star fruit.

We sit and laugh for a while. Enjoy the food, drinks and company.

”How about never have I ever,“ Maxi suddenly suggests and I grin at her.

We played that on Christmas two years ago and I got so drunk. I even asked my cactus if it was taken. Bryce recorded the whole thing. He still laughs about it. He said my flirting was cute.

”I’m not playing, never have I ever. I always lose clothes in the process,“ I say remembering the times B and I played.

”That’s not how you play,“ Sor says after taking a sip from her drink.

”It’s the dirty edition,“ I explain.

Keiki groans.

”Can I be excused for the rest of the evening? I do not want to hear about you and my big brother making out all the time. And FYI you’re not as quiet as you think at night,“ she asks and the others laugh.

I flush red.

”Oops. I’m sorry,“ I say. Maybe B and I should buy a soundproof door? Hmm. Maybe we can talk about that next time.

Maxi sighs.

”I need tequila shots for this,“ she says.

Soraya clinks her glass to Maxis.

”Yes. Please,“ she replies.

Evie chuckles.

”I think it’s nice,“ Evie says a longing in her voice.

I look at her. And she sighs lost in her thoughts.

”You okay Evie?“ I put my arm around her shoulders.

”Peachy. No, I’m not. I feel lonely and sad,“ she says but her voice sounds sad.

Soraya nods knowingly.

”I knew something was wrong. So what’s going on?“ she asks her sister.

Evie sighs, picking at invisible lint on her dress.

”Everyone got someone and I don’t. You know I love the job we have Sor. But seeing all these couples get married and start a family, it makes me want to have that too. Guess I’m unlucky when it comes to love,“ she says and sighs.

That gets me thinking.

”You’re not unlucky you just haven’t met the right guy, but you will. Any guy would be lucky to have you in his life. Don’t get discouraged.“ I say and she smiles quietly.

I grin suddenly when I remember my conversation with Aubrey from a few weeks ago. She said her brother starts his new job at the University of Hawaii. His name is Emry. Maybe he and Evie would be a good fit. We’ve talked a couple of times, and he’s extremely nice and has a great sense of humor. Someone who’d be perfect for my cousin Evie.

”I think I might have someone in mind,“ I said, munching on a piece of mango.

Everyone looks at me.

Maxi grins.

”How did you find him? Did you set up a tinder profile for Evie?“ she asks.

I stick out my tongue at Maxi and she blows me a kiss.

”I didn’t. He teaches at the University of Hawaii,“ I say.

Maxi raises her eyebrows.

”Really? What does he teach math?“ she chuckles.

I shrug.

”As a matter of fact he does,“ I say.

”Tell us more about him,“ Meilani chimes in.

”His name is Emry. He’s Aubrey’s brother. As I said he’s a professor at the University of Hawaii. He teaches math and molecular biology. He’s extremely nice and polite. Also, he’s very hot,“ I wink at Evie.

”Why don’t you use your old tinder profile, Eves?“ Soraya says.

”That’s a great idea,“ I say snatching Evie’s phone from the table before she has a chance to take it.

”Lunes don’t,“ Evie says.

I smile at her.

”Oh come on he’s hot and single. Give it a try maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll be a match,“ I say.

Evie looks unconvinced.

”I don’t know looney,“ she says.

”Come on. Let’s just try. We could even go on a double date. Bryce and I will be there for moral support,“ I said nudging her.

Evie relents.

”He better be cute,“ she says.

”He’s very handsome,“ I say.

I unlock her phone.

”How did you know my password?“ Evie asks.

I bite my lip.

”I…uh…remember it from that last time you asked me to reply to a text because you were getting your nails done,“ I say and add.

”I’ve never looked through your phone pinky promise,“ I say and Evie nods.

We try and see if she can match with Emry.

Suddenly I see his pic and swipe. Crossing my fingers it’ll be a match.

The sound of a match makes me grin and let out a whoop and shimmy on the couch a bit.

”What happened? Did they match? Let me see,“ Keiki peeks over my shoulder.

I show her Evie’s phone.

”Woah Evie he’s so good-looking. I know since Lexi, Aubrey’s sister told me about her brother but I’ve never seen a pic of him. And that guys a professor? Suddenly I’m very interested in molecular biology. Maybe I could take a class?“ Keiki says thinking out loud and we all laugh.

Soraya clears her throat and we all look at her.

When I see Sor grin like the Cheshire cat, I know she’s up to something.

”What?“ I ask cautiously.

”One word. Jenga.“

I groan and Evie breaks out in laughter.

She and Sor high five. While everyone looks at us as if we’ve gone mad.

”Anyone want to clue us in?“ Maxi asks.

Evie is still laughing together with Sor. So I answer.

”When we were seniors in high school, we got bored during the winter holidays. We wanted to play board games but all the board games we had sounded boring, so we invented our own Jenga styled game. By drawing and painting things like truth or dare, take a shot or worst date versus best date on the Jenga pieces. Ever since then we always play it together when we get the time,“ I explain to the others.

Sor gets her bag and puts out all the pieces on the floor and nods at us.

”I can’t believe you still have it and that you brought it with you tonight.“ I shake my head grinning.

Sor grins.

”Come on, let's play.“ She says and we all agree.

So we all build the Jenga tower together and then Soraya turns to me.

”Hosts honor.“ Evie points to me to pick the first Jenga piece. I sigh and take the one in the right corner.

I turn the Jenga piece so that all can see what I’ve got.

It says ”2 truths and 1 lie“.

They all look at me expectantly.

I breathe out and try to come up with two truths and one lie.

”I have three tattoos. I used to work as a nude model during college sometimes and I did body shots at a party once. What is the truth and what is the lie?“

They look at me as if they’re seeing me for the very first time.

Keiki eyes me from left to right.

”Okay the second one has to be a lie.“

I shrug. No emotion betraying my face.

”I’d say the first one is a lie.“ Maxi says grinning.

When I start smiling they grin and know that the first one was a lie.

Keiki leans forward.

”Wait, didn't you say you bartendered during college?“

I smile at Keiki.

”I mean I did bartender throughout college.“

Maxi grins at me.

”Is that where you did body shots?“

I grin. ”I did.“

Then I get serious for a moment.

”But from time to time I stood in as a model. Nothing to r-rated. I could reveal as much as I liked. Because let’s be honest, scholarships don’t cover everything. So bartending and posing as a model paid the bills too.“

They all nod and then I nod in Maxis direction.

”Maxerella it’s your turn.“

She sticks out her tongue at my poor attempt at a nickname.

Maxi takes one from the top.

It says. ”Dance like a Ballerina.“

She groans.

”Uhhh. I like it. You can relive your glory days.“

She rolls my eyes at me.

”Let’s see a pirouette babe.“

”As milady wishes.“

”Ha! Bridgerton reference.“

I point my finger in Maxis direction and grin. Everyone just laughs. I get my phone ready to record this moment for eternity. Seeing Maxine dance ballet is a precious and rare moment, so I want to remember it.

Maxi gets her shoes off and makes a pirouette for all of us. When she’s down she bows slightly.

”Your mom would be so proud of you.“

Maxi laughs.

”Yeah I know. She says I still got what it takes to be a ballerina.“

We all grin and drink.

Meilani pulls out a Jenga piece and she gets ”sit on lap“.

Meilani looks at Soraya and Soraya grins.

”Have you popped the question yet?“ I ask and Soraya throws a raspberry at me, it lands on my face making me laugh. I pick it up and eat it.

Soraya blushes furiously, while Meilani grins.

”Luna!“

I shrug.

”What? Luna loves love.“

Keiki sighs.

”You’ve got to stop speaking in third person like Terry from Brooklyn 99.“

I smile and lean into Evie who sits next to me.

”Terry is great.“ I say not ashamed to love Terry, who’s amazing by the way.

We keep playing until late into the night.

As the night is dwindling down I start yawning and almost fall asleep on the couch nestled into the cushions.

”I think it’s time we wrap this party up. Because it looks like sugarplum is getting tired,“ Maxi says and stands up and covers me with my favorite green blanket.

I sigh, eyes closed.

”Sorry guys. But I’m just more tired than I would normally be,“ I say almost half asleep.

Meilani chuckles.

”You’re 8 months pregnant with twins. It’s normal to be tired,“ she says and I smile.

I fall asleep to the sound of the others cleaning up and putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

The next thing I know is being carried upstairs.

I open my eyes and see a tired but grinning Bryce carrying me to our bedroom.

”I fell asleep didn’t I?“ I ask nuzzling closer.

I sense him chuckle.

”Yeah you looked like a baby pygmy goat,“ he says and lays me down on our bed.

”I love pygmy goats. I’d name her Daisy. B can I have a goat?“ I ask into my pillow.

He covers me with his body and turns on my nightlight illuminating the whole room in shades of blue. The night sky is literally in our room. So pretty.

”Sure I’ll get you a pygmy goat. We’ll let her run around the house. Chewing on everything. Sounds great,“ he says kissing me on my shoulderblade.

Too tired to comment on his sarcasm.

So I just smile and count small itty-bitty pygmy goats.