#Jack Perry does this shit to me

[coderedblood]

Lemme begin by saying I don’t know why people keep saying JBJP is going to turn heel. (Now as I say this, I am aware that a. it will probably happen now and b. surprise heel turns are both AEW’s bread and butter when they don’t have meaningful storylines for their talent and is almost always a good way to rip out the fans’ hearts. Seth Rollins’ 2014 heel turn is a master class of this instance and while there have been many attempts to replicate it, very few have succeeded.)

I sincerely hope AEW doesn’t turn Jack Perry heel. Ricky Starks is completely sexy correct when he said that the Pillars thing is sort of dumb (he didn’t say that, I’m simplifying his remarks), though not exactly from a storyline/kayfabe perspective, but if they’re gonna persist with it till one or more of them doesn’t renew their AEW contract (since MJF’s and Jack Perry’s contracts are up for renewal next year), then turning JP heel would imo be a foolish move on AEW’s part. Here’s why:

Sammy Guevara is not over with the fans outside of Texas and he can’t get over as a face. (I wonder if his habit of talking shit is the reason. Ah hell, who am I kidding? Of course it’s the reason!) He is booed to the heavens and back no matter how much they try to get him into face territory. Bluntly put, Guevara isn’t a face no matter how hard he tries to be one. (Sorry, Sammy.)

Darby Allin (fuck I hate saying his name), while he is a face currently, his status as one feels extremely artificial on his end. The fans are behind him (for some oddball reason), but he isn’t a very believable face at all. He acts very much like a heel - his vibe is very much “the world’s treated me like shit, the world owes me, and I don’t care about the world”. I’ll admit I was a fan of DA for a short time in the beginning bc I thought he had a cool look but that’s where it ended. Bluntly put, I think they’re taping twenties under the fans’ seats to get them to cheer for and put Allin over as a face.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman. He is probably the most well-known heel in professional wrestling today behind Roman Reigns. ‘Nuff said.

Jack Perry is the most natural face of the Four Pillars. With his pleasant out of ring personality (recent rudeness notwithstanding and there’s a whole other post on that here on why that isn’t a cancellable offense), the difficulty of losing not one, not two, but three of the closest males in his young life making him a sympathetic person, and his affection for his friends in and out of ring making him relatable, he’s got it. Although, it is time for a gimmick change. I’ll forever love Jurassic Express and the man and his dinosaur and wild friend gimmicks, but it is time for a change. (My mom made the excellent suggestion of some kind of rockstar, which I’m all for!) Plus people are unfortunately bored of the Jungle Boy gimmick, which I believe is the root of why people are calling for a heel turn.

What I’m saying is, you lose Jack Perry as a face, you’re losing a vital power dynamic. What is wrestling in its barest form? Good vs. evil, a human fascination that’s been around since the beginning of humanity. Turning Jack Perry heel would shake this dynamic (more than it already has been) in AEW and frankly not for good, since there is in an influx of heels in AEW. This isn’t exactly a good thing in itself because while wrestling has changed significantly since it’s become popular and faces and heels are much more expansive, you still have to have identifiable traits as one or the other, and when you have more heels than faces (and vice versa) your potential for storytelling is greatly limited. More heels, your storylines amount mostly to “who’s worse, me or you”. More faces, it’s mostly “friendly competitions, yeah!” (Neither of these are bad, but it gets boring seeing this stuff week after week.)

In a perfect AEW, the women’s division would be much more utilized beyond the Outcasts and Britt Baker and the women’s titles would mean something, Best Friends would finally be tag champions, Darby Allin would be fired and blacklisted, the Jericho Appreciation Society would go away, the Dark Order would get a storyline dedicated to rebuilding and strengthening them, and Jack Perry, Hook, and Danhausen would be trips champions.

[clairenatural]

Dean doesn't like the word "boyfriend." He decides this the second time Cas says it–the first time it was new, shiny, exciting. The second time, he fights the urge to cringe.

It's not the "boy" part. It's not. It would have been, for a long time, but he's dug all that shit up and unpacked all the suitcases. They hold hands in public. They kiss goodbye in front of his coworkers at the garage.

It's just–not enough. Not nearly. Jack comes home from hanging out with his friends and fills Dean on the gossip and his boyfriend and her girlfriend and–that's not them. "Boyfriend" feels like a cheap mockery. Like how demons used to tease.

He's heard "partner." He's heard it from Sam, to Eileen, but he doesn't know how he can stomach it. He's said that word too many times. I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Perry. This is my partner, Agent Page. My partner, Agent Stills. All lies. Sam says he likes it, that he's making it mean something real. Besides, Eileen loves it.

Good for them, Dean thinks. It makes his skin crawl.

So he sticks with “boyfriend” and he shrugs off the funny urge to protest every time Cas says it. It makes him happy, and honestly, it’s not like he has an alternative.

It’s a Sunday when he realizes that somehow, Cas does. They’re at the farmer’s market, like Cas is every weekend, but Dean had picked up weekend shifts and missed the past few. Cas is excited the whole way there, telling Dean about how he’d manage to befriend the local honey vendor in his absence, how she’d invited him to a beginner’s apiarist group she helps run. They beeline (heh) to the honey booth as soon as they get there, and the woman--Judith? Janice?--smiles up at them both, hands Cas a jar of honey like she’d been expecting him, and says “Oh, this must be the husband! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Dean stares at Cas. Cas stares at the honey. Judith/Janice stares at both of them, smile fading as the silence goes on a beat too long. 

Dean clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. The husband, that’s me! Ha ha.” Beside him, Cas relaxes, just barely. In front of him, the woman breathes an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry,” Dean shifts. “Just didn’t, um. Realize I was such a hot topic.” 

The smile he gets is almost sympathetic. “Oh, only good things. Here,” she hands him a business card. “You should also come out to our meeting on Wednesday. Lots of people bring their partners.” She leans in, almost conspiratorial. “Beekeeping can be wonderful for couples.”

It’s at this point that Cas clears his throat and finally looks up from the honey in his hand, evidently giving up hope on escaping this conversation. “Thank you, Janet.” (oh. Janet.) “Dean works late on Wednesdays, but I’m very excited to see you all.” He’s pulling out money as he says this, apparently deciding to just go ahead and end the entire interaction. He hands her the bills, grabs Dean’s hand, and is already moving away from the booth by the time Janet calls “See you Wednesday!” after them.

Cas drags him all the way back to the car without stopping for tomatoes, or Sam's carrots, or the free-range eggs that are way too expensive but Cas buys anyway because you can taste when the hen is well cared-for, Dean (whatever that means). They slide into the car, still not talking, and sit in silence for several long seconds. Dean stares at Cas, who stares out the windshield at the parking lot.

"I can explain," Cas speaks, finally, right as Dean was about to open his mouth and say anything to break the silence.

Dean pauses. Can you? Cause I feel like I missed a few chapters, he thinks.

"I don't work late on Wednesdays," he says instead.

"Oh." Now it's Cas staring at Dean, and Dean staring out at the asphalt.

He turns the keys. He drives them home.

Later, making dinner, Dean rolls the word around in his head. Husband. He's making his husband pasta (It's missing the tomatoes. He's made more with less).

Husband doesn't feel like a costume, like an ill-fitting suit and scratchy tie. It doesn't feel like high school gossip, or a monster trying to hit him where it hurts. It settles in warm in his chest.

It's just the two of them that night, and they're eating in the comfortable silence of the bunker until Dean clears his throat and brings it up. "Why does Janet at the farmer's market think we're married?"

Cas pauses, fork of pasta halfway to his mouth. He puts the fork down and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad," Dean hurries to clarify. "It's just that there's usually, uh. Steps, you know. Like a whole....thing."

"I'm aware." Cas sighs. "She assumed, seeing us around - the first time I spoke to her without you, she asked where my husband was. And I..."

"You didn't correct her?"

"...No. I, um." Cas is looking down at his plate again. He picks up the fork, still half-full of pasta, then puts it back down again. "I didn't want to?" He says the end of the sentence like a question but looks back up at Dean and squints just a bit, and Dean knows he's watching for a reaction.

"Uh huh."

"It felt trivial."

"To tell her we're not married?"

"To call you my boyfriend." For the first time, he stumbles over the word.

Dean blinks. "You--" he stops, brain processing too much information to finish that sentence. "Okay." He leans back in his chair. Sighs. Rubs a hand across his eyes and lets it drag down his face. "Okay, listen. I don't like boyfriend either, but we gotta...talk about it."

"We are talking about it. You don't like it either?" Cas leans forward as Dean slumps back, following him across the table.

Dean snorts. "No, man." He shakes his head. "It's been a decade. I've seen you die." Six times. But who's counting.

"I agree." Cas pauses, and then, as if it's the most natural conclusion in the world, "Will you marry me?"

Dean actually laughs at this. "You're asking me that now?"

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. "I've grown quite fond of calling you my husband at the farmer's market. I'd like to continue."

Dean stares at him in disbelief. It's not how he'd pictured it going, but he also can't think of it going any other way. Slowly, he nods. "Yeah, okay. Let's be husbands."

Across the table, Cas grins at him.

"But we're getting rings," Dean points a finger at him, because something about this is going to be normal.

"If you'd like. Although I already told Janet that you can't wear a ring because of your work at the garage, and I don't wear mine in solidarity."

"Rings," Dean insists, and decides to overlook the rest of that sentence. For now. He stabs his fork into a pile of the pasta. "And let me stop for the damn tomatoes next time."

They get rings and wear them on chains around their necks. Cas puts a beehive on the hill, and there's a small ceremony in the summer - a "vow renewal" to Cas' beekeeping group, who all receive invites attached to little jars of honey. Janet gets the nicest one.

[westofessos]

We really as a society need to just fucking get over it and have the men and women wrestle each other. There can obviously be separate divisions and titles but thinking of how much potential for great storylines is being wasted physically hurts me. How great would mixed tag titles be (obviously we need women’s titles first)? For the first one they could have a big tournament and have all the couples compete and have the finals be on Valentines Day or some shit, it would be adorable. Who wouldn’t want to see Toni Storm and Juice Robinson team together? Or Britt Baker and Adam Cole, Anna Jay and Jack Perry, Penelope Ford and Kip Sabian, etc. I know I would.

Or they could have a blind eliminator tournament like they just did for the men, and pair up men and women who otherwise never would have spoken to each other. You never know, they could very well strike gold like they did with the MJF/Adam Cole pairing. I think they would.

Not to mention the great singles matches we could have, the feuds they could be put in. Plus you have someone like Kris Statlander who’s with the Best Friends and has such great chemistry with them but can never be part of the feuds they’re in if the other group doesn’t have a female member, and they can’t ever help her out in her feuds, it’s just dumb as fuck.

I think it could also help with the sub-par booking of the women’s division, too. They would get more time to shine. Obviously we need more matches with just women, but I would love more than anything to see those women kick the asses of some of those men. Those matches and storylines could be epic.

Anyway, sorry if that was messy or slightly incoherent I’m just really passionate about this particular issue and just heard that Rey Fenix wouldn’t be able to go to Wembley, prompting me to practically scream “so just let Stat join them for fucks sake!”

Edit: I wasn’t really clear in the post originally but I meant this this as strictly about AEW! I am aware that intergender wrestling does exist and has been done, I just meant that it should become the norm for the big companies (i.e. AEW. I don’t follow WWE so I can’t speak on what they’re doing over there. Someone that watches it regularly can speak on what they’re doing in this regard).

[bray-washed]

Some of you are gonna hate this, disagree with this, get mad at this. Whatever.

Let me say from the jump: CM Punk, 100% should not have assaulted his coworker. Should not have. That’s a fact.

HOWEVER, and this is in no way excusing the actions but this is not ALL his fault like everyone is saying. This entire scenario was building because TK cannot be a boss, that’s not to say TK is a bad person - by all accounts TK is known to be a good person just not a good boss. In TK’s defense (& being in the wrestling business as a booker & promoter myself) it’s hard to be a boss to your friends, because that’s what happened his employees became his friends and that’s a hard position to be put into; however, that does not mean he needs to neglect his duty as a boss and he clearly has. (& in my opinion, is being taken advantage of by people who are using him for his money but that’s a different conversation)

Watching that footage, it’s clear to see that CM Punk was telling the truth. Point blank, what he said happened that night, happened. So that leads me to believe that everything else leading up to that moment also happened. We can’t (conveniently) hear what’s being said but I would guess Jack said something that angered Punk - neither were really showing aggressive behavior, maybe when Jack went to turn away from Punk in the beginning & Punk pulled him back - but like? Jack was turning away mid conversation if I, as a veteran, was trying to talk to a new kids about something & they turned away from me? Yea, I’d pull them back… cause the entitlement is not happening absolutely now.

Seems to me like Jack Perry was being uncooperative from the get-go. Why? Who knows. That’s the real speculation, Punk will say it’s cause of his “friends” (the Young Bucks) influence which is a fair speculation but it could be anything. Jack Perry is young & dumb & is probably forming some kind of ego of “I know better than the old timers” every wrestler gets that mentality for a little while and they need to grow up & out of that mentality.

Punk comes from the era of wrestling where if you talk shit, you get hit - fuck around & find out, if you will… and I as well come from that era & mentality, being a professional is first on my list so I’ve never gotten into a physical fight but it doesn’t shock me or fill me with rage when it does happen - not saying it should but some people need to have those consequences come to light. Jack fucked around and Jack found out.

Now, whatever Punk said to TK, no clue… I don’t think just watching that that TK can say that he feared for his life there was nothing to fear there. Now, we can’t hear anything & I’m sure yelling was happening… but fearing for his life? Be so for real right now Tony, honey, you run a wrestling locker room… arguing is bound to happen… relax.

Genuinely, this showed most of us nothing & I don’t think it did anything to benefit AEW. AEW is just trying to fight fire with fire, for no reason. If TK wants to run a “business” then… do that. Want to know what WWE 100% would never do? Show footage of a former employee in a fight backstage. When all that nonsense when Punk left happened… did WWE show footage of Punk leaving to “prove a point”? No. Ditto for Steve Austin - who ALSO famously took his ball & went home and WWE has camera crew literally everywhere… there have been TONS of fights most likely caught on camera but we’ll never see them why? Cause they are a business.

I think this was a bad idea all around… but that’s just me.

(But also can we please talk about Samoa Joe just pacing back & forth, minding his business, getting pumped for his match…. I don’t know why but that just made me love him more.)

[junglemax]

Friend tell me about Jack and his character arc! I remember very lil apart from how I need to rip him apart like a mango

aw man my brain is fried as fuck but i will try

the character arc to me goes from jungle boy -> jungle boy jack perry -> hollywood jack perry -> scapegoat jack perry which. to some ppl the first two are one in the same but to me they’re not??

like jungle boy has NO knowledge of city life. only jungle life. boy doesn’t even speak much at first. he’s still very reliant on others helping him through life. very positive, and I believe lost a lot bc others would cheat and take advantage of his kindness

when he finally adds his real name to things, it shows that he’s fully acclimated to normal society. no longer does he need help from others. he can live in society like a normal person. still kind, but way more wary of all the bad shit that can happen. he’s trying to hold onto the good parts, though

then we get his hollywood phase when he turns heel. basically hes lost hope in everyone due to increasing frustrations of never being good enough, pushing his faults onto others, and is very insecurity based. he’s basically a weird mix of mjf and christian cage

and ofc we get scapegoat jack perry, reborn in japan, more wise of people who have faulted him. though it’s interesting that he trusted people after all that, especially the bucks. he is not immune to being lied to + gaslit i guess, because one day that friendship w the bucks is all gonna go to shit and i think they’ll be the ones causing it.

this probably isn’t fully what you wanted so here’s a 3 hour video explaining jungle boy’s story by @tacodemuerte

[gothicprep]

in december, many of us watched a 4 hour long argument about plagiarism on youtube, and how bad this is for creativity more broadly. but here's another thing that bugs the hell out of me, that i'd argue is just as bad for creativity online: influencer circle-jerk. luckily, i can make my case for how disheartening this is in under 4 hours.

there's a podcast i listen to sometimes called otherworld. it's aiming to be the "this american life" of ghost stories, but its secondary purpose is also to give advertising plugs to the host's insufferable LA transplant friends. it's incidentally good when it's not doing that, but it's insufferable to listen to when it is.

some of the podcast guests include:

bonnie mckee, songwriter for the worst things that plagued your ears in the early 2010s, such as "california gurls" by katy perry and "dynamite" by taio cruz. poor bonnie's solo career never really took off – can't imagine why that is – but she's still giving it a go. incidentally, she started re-recording some songs that were left on the cutting room floor for an earlier album of hers in 2022, which lines up with when she appeared on the pod.

kareem rahma, also known as kareem on instagram, host of a tiktok series that's basically just bothering people on the subway for content. he's also co-founder of something called "nameless network", with some ex-vice employees (put a pin in vice, we'll come back to it later). the purpose of the company is making viral hack shit: "i promise this made for instagram pizza museum is more than a cynical waste of your time. pwomise 🥺". hmm, what do you know. vice is the outlet covering it. the host says they met at a dinner party thing in los angeles.

two episodes about a married couple named sean johns and gina. they're psychics but the real deal! there's definitely a real deal for this sort of thing! the wife is, as you may have already guessed, big on tiktok, and you should listen to her because she uhhh knows what she's talking about for real. not like those other fraudulent people on witchtok (which is all of them, including her, but whatever). unfortunately i forget what her handle was, but i'm sure someone who has more time on their hands to dig for it can dredge it up.

two more episodes with, what do you know, a clairvoyant. did you know that she's the real deal and not one of those fake ones? she's referenced in the episode series prior to this, and what a fucking coincidence, the host of the show had an appointment with her before he began this project. oh, and someone from a more recent episode happened to be a client of hers too. (side note: one episode has a recorded reading of hers, and it'll come as no shock to anyone, but she's just as vague as every other hippie con artist who does this shit for a living)

one guest named alex doesn't outwardly seem like he's an influencer or trying to be, but it's probably worth noting that he's told the same story on at least one other podcast, so who knows what this guy's motivations are

gabi abrao, another influencer and one of the countless writers riding rupi kuar's coattails. i probably don't need to elaborate further.

actress and comedian sarah sherman guest hosts one of the episodes for no clear reason.

jack corbett, who makes bad tiktoks about economics for npr, is another guest. i'd be more forgiving of him, because i don't think it's possible to make good tiktoks about economics, but sadly his episode was one of the worst on the show. guy gets drunk after a bad breakup, fucks his leg up, blames it on tiktok astrologers cursing him. whatever dude. and get this – he and the host both say that they met at the same dinner party that the kareem guy i mentioned earlier was at.

bear in mind, this is only nine episodes out of a 65 episode show, but i think that's enough to say that there's at least some clout-sharkery going on. it doesn't help that the "official" subreddit – meaning, the one moderated by one of the show's producers – has a tendency to go dark when the fans complain about one of the guests. this happened with the psychic married couple and the npr tiktok guy. it's one of those things that makes you wonder if the motivation behind the blackouts is that the complaints give away that this is a bad avenue to plug your shit.

i'm not the only one who's suspicious of this. see this post on the fanmade sub, which asks, "what are the odds that this podcast is total bullshit?" OP defends this in part by saying, "Jack [the host] literally got famous from being a troll/social media guru/guy who’s good at making things go viral"

about that. you might remember this dumb thing that went viral in 2018 of a mural in LA that only influencers could take pictures at. it ended up being a publicity stunt to promote a webshow that jack from this podcast was attached to. what makes that vice article i linked to, imo, really unethical is that the author, justin caffier, is friends with jack. or at the very least, well-acquainted enough that jack was a guest on an episode of caffier's podcast that was published a few months earlier.

i don't know. when you dig shit like this up, it just seems like there's so much content out there that's mostly created as avenues for the worst people alive to network with one another. or if not that, this is the foundation for an argument that those vice pieces like "some fucking idiots took 20 tabs of LSD in the desert" solely exist for whoever wrote them to advertise their vapid friends' social media whatever. and nothing good ever comes out of it. it's a shallow gambit for quick money and attention, designed to be thrown away and forgotten about in 2 weeks. it's depressing!

jack holds that "otherwold isn't a show about the paranormal, it's a show about people". and given all this, that statement feels revealing.

[730spitz]

Finally watched aew all in! So here will be all my thoughts for the card and results.

I'm upset that the young bucks won, I feel like acclaimed deserved the titles, or soon the young bucks should let go of them because they've had them way too much. And another tag team deserves to hold them and actually consistently defend them or something like that.

I don't mind that Claudio, yuta, and pac won the trios. I think it'll be good development for yuta plus I'm a Claudio lover so it's a happy day for me to say the least.

I don't care that Mercedes mone had won tbh, not really big on that match. Loved Mercedes entrance tho-

Toni storm and Mariah May put on a phenomenal show, and honestly Mariah did well I think she'll do good for the title. And I cannot wait to see what the timeless toni storm does next.

I am actually upset Christian cage won the casino match ANYONE else would have been more deserving. Luchasaurus, Nigel, Zack, Kyle, orange Cassidy, Adam page. literally anyone else when we have seen SO many short term runs of titles with Christian already. I love him but goddamn we needed someone new.

GO HOOK, YAY, YIPPEE 🎉. Ahem I love hook and he deserves that title so much, I bet Taz is proud of his son. And the fact taz came in?? EVEN BETTER. I'm just super happy he's the ftw champ again and looking good as ever.

Darby and Jack Perry, ngl I'm happy Jack won I hope they don't kill this story yet because the chemistry they have in ring is fucking amazing. They could do a lot with these two, also sting coming in??? Amazing shit was happy to see sting help Darby out and beat the evps asses.

MJF and Will ospreay, wowee I wonder what I'll say omg. anyways I love MJF, before ospreay he was the profile theme so I would have been thrilled with either yet I think they are going to do bigger things with MJF again and let ospreay have a title like that for the moment, I think they'll be using MJF a lot again soon y'know.

Lastly I believe Bryan Danielson and swerve Strickland, Bryan earned that win he will treat the title well and I wish him a good last year before retirement. Though also I wish swerve would keep his title longer I think this match could have been a great end to his career even if he had lost, it would have been bittersweet but also very sweet and such if he actually retired in aew all in.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Girl! Omg listen

So I was just at this little punk show with a lineup of bands I'd never heard of and knew nothing about. It was the kind of place for real punks, not a Hot Topic poser like me.

Only the headliner had a table with merch. And I swear to god they were selling cassettes - not CDs, tapes. The t-shirt designs were really cool, though, and it was being manned by this guy with shaved, bleached hair, who was cute in that way where if you only saw a picture of him he'd only be a little cute but because I was in the same room as him, he was reeaally cute. A homeless man came in and asked people around to buy him a shirt. I was really slow on the uptake but once I understood I tried paying for him. After he left, the cute boy manning the merch table abandoned his station to give me my $15 back. I was like, "Oh. 😳 If you're sure. (Wow, cute and kind)"

My first assumption about him was that he was, you know, the band's funky little friend, as usual. But when I saw him helping set up and test equipment, I thought maybe he worked for the venue. (Maybe he was a local. Maybe I could invite him to a planetarium show and bring him flowers. No I'd never be so brash in a million years.)

So we make it to the headliner. He's fixing the mic chord. He doesn't go back to his folding table. Lights go down...

He was the frontman. HE WAS THE LEAD SINGER! He threw his jacket off to reveal a cropped t shirt and got the only moshpit of the night started with barely a word. ???

????????

All this oversharing to say......

Shit that would happen to Jack Perry.

EMMA OH MY GOD LMAO okay first of all I am so fucking charmed by ALL OF THIS because this is the cutest shit, YOU are adorable, and you are not a Hot Topic poser and also I happen to think that Hot Topic punks are adorable and I love them so much I DIGRESS anyway YOU ARE SO SWEET AND SO WAS HE AND THIS IS THE MOST ADORABLE MEET-CUTE I HAVE EVER HEARD??????? THE CROPPED SHIRT ON THE LEAD SINGER IS A VITAL DETAIL AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU INCLUDED THIS also this would absolutely happen to Jack Perry, I'm putting this on the AU list LMAO I am in love with this entire ask, you have made my whole night I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING TIME AT THE CONCERT WHILE STARING AT THIS SWEET, CUTE LEAD SINGER 💚💚💚

(who the fuck even has a cassette player anymore????? how does one even play cassettes in almost the year of our lord 2024???? I am ENTRANCED)

[himbos-hotline]

The Baby AU - Tell me more about it

Literally is just a non-wrestling AU with some OCs but mostly wrestlers as like infants-little kids and its the first Au in a series where its baby, middle school, high school, college. Some wrestlers are adults so like parents adn shit cuz you cant have a bunch of kids running around unsupervised. The adults all have non-wrestling jobs and most of the AU revovles around the children going to a daycare/educational place and its going to be written like a series, a different character to focus on each chapter

Madelyn Orton [OC, cousin of Jay] // 5 years old

Finn Balor // 6 years old

Samuel 'Sami' Zayn // 5 years old

Generico // 4 years old // NOT Sami Zayn

Kevin Owens // 7 years old

Malakai Black // 6 years old [physically]

Aleks Page [OC, not related to hangman] // 5 years old

Balor // literal manifestation of finn balors demon persona // 7 1/2 [physically]

Randall Orton // 10 years old

Seth Rollins // 4 years old

Jon Moxley // 5 years old

Rhea Ripley // 8 years old

Darby allin // 4 years old

adam page // 4 [nearly 5] years old

MJF // 4 years old

Matt Jackson // 7 years old

Nick Jackson // 5 years old

Kenny Omega // 7 years old

Eddie Kingston // 9 years old

Wheeler yuta // 2 years old // mute

Danhausen // 6 years old

HOOOK // 3 years old

Luke Gallows // 8 years old

Karl Anderson // 7 years old

Orange Cassidy // 7 years old

Chuck Taylor // 6 years old

Trent? Baretta // 7 years old

Adam Cole [baybay] // 6 years old

Jack Perry // 3 years old

Jayden Jackson [fostered by Regal] // newborn/1 years old

Julia Hart// 4 years old

Ruby soho // 8 years old

~~~

There is little to no rhyme or reason for the families. My big sibling and I just played "what people do we like/does this make me laugh?"

Leonie Balor + Finnatan Balor: Finn. Brodie King: Balor Mick Foley: Eddie Kingston Sting: Darby William Regal: Mox, Wheeler, Jay [fostering] Excalibur: Generico, Orange cassidy Tripe H/Shawn Micheals: Randy, Maddie, Finn Taz: HOOK Lita: Rhea Ola and Michael Page: aleks Edge and Christian Cage: Sami zayn, Jungle boy Chris Jericho: Kevin Beth pheonix: baby hangman AJ styles: Luke and Karl Stephanie Macmahon: MJF Don Callis: Kenny mama and papa buck: Matt, Nick, evantually adopting Jay from Regal AJ Lee: Malalki Aubrey edwards: Ruby soho RJ City/ Claudio: Adam Cole [this was funny to us- solely based on the hey EW episode] Sue: Trent ? Tony Shavione: Chuck

I love this AU so much, come send me a lot of asks about it

[tacodemuerte]

sorry i know you probably get this ask a lot but!! how do you figure out how you want to draw new people/characters?? or like how do you manage to keep up the steam of drawing them even if they dont turn out exactly how you want the first go around... your arts always been such a massive inspiration to me and ive always wanted to be able to stick with drawing the same people as devotedly as you do!!

hello! and no worries about it i love answering this kind of question! and thank you!

lately i kind of just got into the habit of like, accepting that the first few times of drawing someone new, is always gonna look a bit like dookIE,,

like earlythis year i think was the first time i drew jungle boy, and these were the initial drawingS..

there's a lot of stiffness in these bc i had to try my hardest to not just make 'luke perry' . but like he DOES have some resemblance..but still has his own like.. facE NDIOSHFDSIF. it was hard trying to figure that out

so a lot of the drwaings of him came out kinda stiff or just clearly insecure. usually i'd let it ruin my month but now i only just let it ruin my week (HEHE..JOKES). i kinda of just let it go and accept that it's gonna be ugly and move on to the next attempt!

i do this over and over and over until i finally reach an 'aha!' moment for the face. and once i have it i RIDE IT TILL IT'S DRY BABYY

it helps a lot to doodle as much as u can! use doodle time to just attempt the face and let that me the moment you allow the ugliest shit you've ever witnessed..ive been recently doing this with christian cage, since my weakspot is older people..CRINGE

so with enough scribbling and mindless doodling (YES.. MINDLESS DOODLING!) , i eventually get to a point where im confident enough to draw these guys without reference or with an easier grasp on how to simplify them in my style!

(with jack i realized he sort of has luke perry's face but has a big cabbage patch head. but i also take note of his eyes which is something that stands out to me a lot!)

(with cage.. we are still working on that, but i know ill get it eventually, just need some more time and patience!)

i hope this helps!! remember, just don't stress too much about it. it only really matters for a guy to look consistently good if you're literally doing hand animation at disney in 2002 NFOIHJSFIODHIGOD have fun!! compare contrast and accept the uglies!

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Just some quick thoughts on All In. There will be spoilers.

Zero Hour

I, 100% did not expect Adam and MJF to win, at all. I expected there to be the initial start of a betrayal or something. I was pleasantly surprised, since I love the two of them.

Aussie Open seems really good. I should probably check out ROH.

Hook is one of my favorite anime protagonists, and Jack Perry has improved so much by being a complete piece of shit.

Also, Taz being hyped up for everything Hook does will literally never get old. Dude just sounds so proud every damn time.

CM Punk vs Samoa Joe

I don't really care a whole lot about CM Punk. I've seen a few of his pre-AEW matches, and I think he cuts a fun promo. I also think he's clearly enjoying himself, which makes watching his matches more enjoyable, in their own way.

That said, watching Samoa Joe just beat the absolute fuck out of Punk for most of the match was beautiful. I missed Joe in the original ROH and TNA/Impact, but his NXT and WWE stuff was so fun. Joe works at such a great pace, too. He literally always feels like a threat.

Seeing "real world championship" in quotes every time they mention CM Punk’s belt always reminds me of when AJ Styles was being announced in WWE as "The Man Who Would Like to be Announced as 'The Face that Runs the Place'"

Golden Elite vs Bullet Club Gold w/ Takeshita

Juice Robinson is my favorite feral little gremlin in pro wrestling.

Jay White is a beautiful piece of shit and I love him for it. He's also so fucking good in the ring.

Takeshita is also fantastic and has been consistently great.

I love how much everyone hates Don Callis.

Golden☆Lovers OTP

Hangman Adam Page is one of all-time favorite wrestlers. Just always happy to see him out there.

Ibushi tried to murder people with his kicks and it was fantastic shit.

A shitty surprise pin on Kenny Omega is absolutely on brand. I was peeved in a good way.

FTR vs Young Bucks

Fuck the Revival. I also like FTR a lot. Been a fan of theirs since NXT, and I loved seeing them draped in gold not that long ago.

I don't always feel like watching a Young Bucks match, but I always enjoy the match when it's done.

FTR and the Bucks were top-tier tag team wrestling today.

I legitimately expected FTR to lose, given the legal troubles that Cash could be facing. Seeing FTR win was a nice surprise.

FTR having arm bands for Brodie Lee, Bray Wyatt, and Jay Briscoe was so sweet, and so sad.

Stadium Stampede

Find someone who loves you as much as Eddie Kingston hates Claudi Castagnoli.

Mox looked so fucking cool walking out.

Oh my god, Trent, why, what the fuck. Please stop.

Someone getting skewers stabbed into their heads will always make me wince and laugh simultaneously.

Penta being walked backstage by medics only to return as Penta Oscuro was amazing shit. Penta is great.

Wheeler Yuta is the perfect person in BCC to be a bloodthirsty little goblin that you want to see eat the pin. He does his job well.

Also Best Friends hugging Yuta only to beat him up was gold.

I lost track of what was happening at least 400 times during the match and I don't care. I was thoroughly entertained.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD v. Toni Storm v. Saraya v. Hikaru Shida

I assumed Saraya was going to win as soon as I saw her come out to Queen with her entire goddamn family walking out.

Toni Storm is a beautiful disaster.

In the event that Saraya wouldn't be winning, I didn't want Britt to win.

But that's also primarily because I *wanted* Shida to retain. Also, I love that Shida's theme has big 90s X-Men vibes.

Shida in general is just great. She should win every match.

I also just had no real investment in Brit for this match. She just kinda felt like she could have been nearly any other woman from the women's division. She wasn't *bad* by any means, just not someone I was pulling for or against.

I'm curious to see what happens with this implosion of the Outcasts now that Saraya and Toni aren't on good terms.

I dislike Ronnie Radke musically and as a person, so I'm not really thrilled at the idea of hearing Saraya's music more now that she's the champ.

At the same time, given all the shit she's been through, I can't be too mad about them giving her a run.

I still want Shida to have an actual good, long run though. I love her matches.

Christian Cage & Swerve vs. Darby Allin and Sting

Schiavone shouting "IT'S STING" is one of my favorite things in wrestling.

Joker Sting is fun as hell.

Swerve is actually the coolest motherfucker on the entire roster, and it is a literal crime that he doesn't have a belt.

Christian Cage is a menace and I can't get over that he wrestles in a sleeveless turtleneck now.

Darby is here for a good time, not a long time.

Sting is SIXTY-FOUR GODDAMN YEARS OLD AND SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS STUFF.

Darby shouldn't either, but I'm fairly certain he's not even human anymore.

I love Swerve.

I also love Prince Nana.

Getting all of Wembly to shout "Swerve's house" probably felt cool.

This was fun as hell.

Will Ospreay vs Chris Jericho

bruv

Ospreay is so fucking good, dude. Like he's absolutely up there as one of the best to do this. Every match I've seen of his just blows me away.

Jericho is also absolutely one of the most versatile wrestlers of all time. I've seen this man reinvent himself like a dozen times, and every time feels just as natural as the one before it.

If they had Jericho win, there was going to be a riot.

Plz give me more Ospreay matches. Dude can fucking go.

I'm curious to know what happens with Jericho and Sammy now

House of Black vs The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn

HOB walking out with a lantern 😭

The Fireflies 😭

HOB looks so cool in white, holy shit.

I love Julia's hats.

I am not a cop, so obviously I love The Acclaimed.

Billy Gunn coming out in full-on Badd Ass Billy Gunn trunks made me feel like I was 12 again.

I love HOB, but if The Acclaimed didn't win this, after their whole mini arc of Gunn retiring, and Gunn bringing back BABG, I was gonna be mad.

Is there a rule that someone has to wreck Julia's shit every match, because lmao

A lot of fun.

Brody King scares the hell out of me.

Adam Cole vs. MJF

I went into this expecting heartbreak

Adam Cole, who took character inspiration from Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2, comes out sporting some definite Broderlands-vibe gear.

MJF is still wearing BTYBB gear.

MJF as this babyface-leaning thing is actually some of the greatest shit I've ever seen. The whole turmoil over using a weapon feels like Roddy Piper vs Bret Hart.

Cole being a desperate POS to the confused, hurt, and mad MJF was wonderful.

The tombstone onto the announce desk with metal reinforcement was brutal on my knees as a viewer.

lol Roddy. lmao.

MJF and Cole almost having a total falling out after the match was amazing.

Cole opting not to slam the AEW belt into MJF's head after the match, and they hug instead? Cinema.

Was I still deeply concerned that there was going to be a betrayal literally up until the PPV feed stopped? Oh hell yes. I watched Ciampa turn on Gargano after the little copyright stuff showed up in NXT. I will *still* be concerned about that until the moment it happens.

That said, I genuinely don't want it to happen because these dudes work so well together. They're just so fucking dorky in the best way.

Misc. Other Thoughts

I missed whatever happened with Miro and Hobbs, because I just missed the whole first hour of Zero Hour.

Apparently there was Drama involving Punk and Jack Perry-- I guess related to the use of actual glass in the windshield of the car that Hook and Perry wrestled on? Whatever. Punk isn't why I watch this stuff, but I would rather Perry not get screwed.

Why did they keep panning over to Mercedes Moné if she wasn't gonna do anything other than vibe to The Acclaimed's theme?

That being said, I was loving the wig she had on. I've been liking the shorter-cut wigs compared to the long-ass stuff she was wearing as Sasha Banks

A lot of people kept expecting Edge to show up at some point. I'm pretty sure I saw somewhere that his contract was extended.

Overall, this was, in all honesty, probably the best wrestling PPV I've ever watched. And, thanks to the invention of VHS tapes in my youth and the WWE Network as an adult, I have seen a *lot* of PPVs. This felt bigger than any Wrestlemania I've watched. I can't compare it to Wrestle Kingdom because I've never actually seen one of those all the way through. But it had numerous people who have been in Wrestle Kingdom matches, which were great.

I'm just annoyed that All Out is next goddamn week, because I don't want to shell out $100 in two weeks for this stuff.

Regardless. I love wrestling. We are in one of the greatest eras of pro wrestling, if not *the* greatest. What a time to be a fan.

[buttdawg]

The Devil

I think everyone knows by now how things turned out at Worlds End, but just in case, I'll put spoilers under the cut.

I'm not sure how big a surprise it is, since he was the prime suspect all along, but Adam Cole revealed he was the Devil at the end of the PPV. His "henchmen" were the three Kingdom guys, along with Wardlow.

I feel like there were probably more henchmen than this running around in this storyline, but that's not a big deal. We've seen The Devil directing traffic during beatdowns and leaving his mask behind as a calling card, and it's hard to see Cole doing that with his broken foot, so it makes sense that this group would rely on proxies and intermediaries when necessary. They clearly cut a deal with Joe, so it's not hard to imagine them getting a guy to wear the mask for a few minutes to throw off suspicion. And wrestlers have been hiring themselves out as anonymous cannon fodder for decades. They probably got some of the Dark Order goons from 2019 to pitch in.

I found the reveal kind of strange, since it didn't seem like Cole got anything out of this whole ruse. Joe's the champ, his buddies got the ROH tag belts, but why go to all this trouble for that? Then it finally hit me that he may have been angling for a world title victory of his own, but he had to change his plans once the foot injury happened. After that, it became more about taking the title off MJF, since he couldn't get it for himself.

Why didn't he just let Jay White finish off Max? I dunno, fuck Jay, I guess. For whatever reason, Samoa Joe was his pick.

I suppose this really started after Wembly Stadium, when MJF beat Cole to retain the title. They hugged it out and everything, but that had to be the moment when the wheels started turning. Everything since then has been this long-term plot to wear Max down. The ROH tag title matches, the weird drama with Roderick Strong, Cole acting conflicted over whether or not to cut ties with Roddy, Cole convincing Max to do dumb shit like jumping out of the ring. All of it took a physical and emotional toll on Max until he couldn't hold onto the title.

I found the reveal anticlimactic, but the more I look at it, the more ridiculous the other suspects would have been.

Britt Baker. At first glance, this seems like a cool thing for her to do, but her sole motive would be some sort of jealousy over Max monopolizing all of her boyfriend's time, which could work except she's barely been on TV this whole time, and no one's ever brought up how she felt about the Max/Adam bromance. And how does being the Devil help her career? Fucking over MJF doesn't set up a big match for her, unless AEW's going to do intergender stuff.

Jack Perry. Again, this guy's been away for months, which means there's not a good way to introduce him as a suspect. Fans seemed to think his absence from TV made him more likely to be the Devil, because... it would be more surprising? Also, what's his motive? I think fans wanted this to tie in with his backstage fight with CM Punk, but... how?

Roderick Strong. This guy was already doing a psychological war against Max with his squad of goons. Why would he switch to a secret identity and do the same thing?

Wardlow. Again, this guy made no secret of his grudge with Max, so the bigger question was why he didn't just make his move a long time ago. Wardlow being part of the Devil's conspiracy makes a lot more sense than him being the Devil himself.

Hangman Page, Swerve, etc. These were all pretty big reaches, and I think they only threw these names out to make the point that Max has a long list of enemies, rivals, and challengers. But Swerve wouldn't waste his time on a secret identity. The dude filmed himself breaking into Hangman's house for crying out loud. Conversely, Hangman would never muster the creativity or gumption to come up with a plan like this. He would find the mask, think about putting it on, and then spend the next six months moping about the latest slump he's in.

In hindsight, it really couldn't be anyone but Adam Cole, although this whole reveal still begs the question of how they're going to proceed, when both guys are too injured to have a blowoff match. I guess Cole might be fully recovered by now? Maybe MJF isn't as badly hurt as everyone thinks? I mean, Cole will probably do some "why I did it" promo on Dynamite, but what's the difference? We know why he did it. MJF's a giant prick. Everyone was waiting for them to turn on each other and now it's happened.

The real question is: What does Cole do now? He's got his revenge, and I'm sure he'll get some big match with MJF eventually, but what's he do in the meantime? I guess if his foot's healed up he can chase some other title, but it seems kind of anticlimactic.

[westofessos]

Now watching Collision! Here we go (under the cut cause it got really long):

Tony’s on commentary for Collision? Okay, I’m cool with that

Metalingus is a fantastic fucking song

Oh wow does Christian look good in that shirt. Goddamn.

The ‘Christian will you be my father?’ sign 😂

“Hit the bricks” “get to steppin” loving these coming from Christian

If not Luchasaurus or Jack Perry or whatever, I’m gonna need Adam to be the one to take that TNT belt off of Christian

Bryan!!

Luchasaurus and Nick Wayne banned from ringside. Fantastic

Ricky and Bill?? What the fuck do you two have to do with any of this

Oh right his whole thing with Bryan

“It’s your stupid silk slacks dumbass” “and you took it from the Rock” oh shit Adam

“That really sent me over the edge” I will never get tired of the dumb Edge jokes

I would absolutely love a Bryan/Adam team up. LOVE.

FTR? Really?

Oh cry me a fucking river you idiots

Oooh it’s brawl time

Well this inevitable eight man tag match is gonna be interesting

Oh I love that they played MJF’s Stand Up to Jewish Hate video package

CJ Perry is so gorgeous, my god

I do not like the ROH ring announcer at all

DANHAUSEN!!!!

Oh my god he said it’s almost time, I’m so excited

Juice!!

That son of a bitch needs to give Max his belt back

Wow, all of the tape on Cardblade. Poor Cock Strong

Oh my god the ring

Down on one knee and everything

“Nigel you don’t think-” 😂

The MJF chant 🥹

I swear to god if he takes the ring from Max I will lose my shit

And if Jay fucking White takes the belt from him I might actually have a breakdown

That motherfucker saying he has no friends, I swear to god I hope Max kicks his ass so hard

Dustin’s back!! It would be so fucking fantastic if he (or honestly anybody else) beat Juice in the battle royale

Don’t really like adding him to the long list of people trying to kill Max though

The “we’ve been trios champions for ___ days” thing is so good

“If it’s a thing to you, it’s a thing for all of us” awww

BILLY AND ANTHONY TRYING TO HELP CASTER 🥹 “just be a gentleman” I’m dying this is so sweet

Renee losing her shit was so funny

I adore Daddy Magic and Cool Hand Ang but Daniel Garcia can fuck off

. . . I do not care about Skye Blue at all

But never mind about that because IT’S STAT TIME!!!!

I’m pretty sure she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen

“What’re you doing? This isn’t you” oh Stat 😢

I love that Stat is out here just giving literally everyone she wrestles the best matches of their careers

Okay they can turn Skye Blue heel all they want but they cannot turn Willow heel, that’s ridiculous. Her joy is stronger than that black shit

And you’ll have to pry Staturday Nightingale out of my cold dead hands

OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS TONY

Oh Kenny vs Kyle is gonna be good

Yeah I’m really not in any hurry for Rush and his buddies to come back

Turbo Floyd is definitely on the list of worst wrestling names of all time

I really like that they have storylines from ROH progress (or even just reference them) on AEW TV

Sting on Wednesday?? Fuck yeah

Oh my god the render for Nick Wayne’s mom

Ooh that Mistico video package was fantastic

Time for Bryan vs Christian, this is going to be awesome

‘Christian did nothing wrong’ 😂

Oh shit, no time limit? Is that the first time they’ve ever actually said that? I feel like it might be. Like sure, they always ‘go as long as it takes’ but I don’t remember ever hearing them say that

“Necks by Christian Cage” “Who’s gonna sun this match, and why is it Christian Cage?” “Doesn’t need to mat wrestle a clam digger” Nigel is the best

I really need Excalibur on this show because I have no idea what so much of the stuff Bryan is doing is called and I would really like to

Love seeing Nigel on his feet in the background just losing his shit

That was a great match

Oh brawl #2

That was a really great show! Can’t wait for Wednesday

[randyortonofficial]

title: light behind a forbidden door (click here for the ao3 version) pairing: christian cage/hook, past christian cage/jungle boy word count: 1576 description: After Jungle Boy turns on Hook at the Forbidden Door pay-per-view, Hook finds an interesting way to get back at him.

Christian may not have a match tonight, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the grimy piece of shit known as Jungle Boy, also known as Jack Perry, also known as great big bitch boy, was going to lose his match tonight and he wanted to be there in person to smell the sweet despair of his defeat.

As always, his suspicions turn out to be right.

It is damn good to be Christian Cage, also known as the one and only TNT champion, also known as the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be, also known as the best in the world despite what CM Punk calls himself, and what the fuck does CM even stand for? Chick Magnet? Cock Magnet? Christian Magnet?

Definitely not the last, because nobody has ever magnetized Christian’s attention ever.

That is, until Christian is pushed up against the wall in the hallway by Jack’s former best friend. Maybe they were boyfriends. It’s totally possible, but Hook isn’t Jack’s type, no, Christian is, and now Jack will never find another man like him ever in his sad and disappointing life filled with uninspiring trunk designs and stiff speeches. Tragic for Jack Perry, not for Christian Cage.

He supposes then that it would make sense if Jack and Hook were dating, since Christian clearly ruined his favorite type.

Anyways, he’s being pushed up against the wall by some twink and he is just gobsmacked.

“Hey kid, what the fuck is your problem?” Christian demands after hitching the title higher on his shoulder. “Don’t get all shitty at me because that piece of shit out there was being shitty to you.”

Hook continues to stare at Christian, for long enough that it actually makes Christian uncomfortable. Such dark brown eyes that tap right into that bit of light to be found deep within the blackness that is Christian’s soul and makes him feel, dare he say it, a hint of sympathy for the boy in front of him. He wouldn’t wish a betrayal by Jack Perry on anyone.

Suddenly then, Hook is dropping his title to the ground and sliding onto his knees to very quickly begin undoing Christian’s pants.

“Holy shit, what the fuck?” Christian chuckles and furrows his eyebrows. “You all turned on cause I’m calling you out-”

He is cut off by his own loud moan as Hook swallows him down to the very hilt, nose pressed to his crotch and his wisps of air ghosting against Christian’s skin as his hands grip tight at Christian’s hips.

Christian hasn’t the slightest idea as to why Hook is sucking him off in these halls where anyone could walk through-

Yes, that’s just it, anyone can walk through here. Oh, that is just fucking genius, no wonder this kid is so fucking good for being a rookie.

Christian huffs out a laugh and drops his head to watch Hook pull back to the tip. “Fucking damn,” he breathes out. “We tryna make your ex-boy toy jealous, huh?”

All Hook does is grin at him before pressing his tongue to his balls to begin a slow, tantalizing stripe all the way back to his head to begin suckling at it, and Christian hums his approval.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Christian says lowly as a hand threads into Hook’s hair to force him down further onto his cock, another moan sounding from his lips. He’d do both hands, but he wants to cherish his title and keep it safe on his shoulder. “C’mon, you wanna make him jealous, don’t you?” He pulls Hook to the tip again before pushing him back down. “Wanna make him suffer? Make him watch his two least favorite people have all this fun together?”

Jack was always so enthusiastic with him, but fuck, he isn’t taking it like Hook is right now. He’s letting Christian fuck his face so hard, balls slapping constantly against his chin and the head hitting the back of his throat, over and over again, and he’s not fussing or gagging one bit. He’s right there on his knees and looking up at Christian with dark brown eyes that are even prettier and more soulful than Jack’s could ever be.

As Christian stares down at him, groaning with each second his thick cock stays stretching his pretty mouth, he thinks he might have found someone that will be infinitely better than Jack Perry, in every single way.

Granted, that’s not a hard achievement, but Hook is definitely the prettiest and that isn’t a platitude he gives so lightly.

Hook’s fingers drag down Christian’s hips and thighs to squeeze hard and Christian furrows his eyebrows at him. He opens his mouth, ready to ask this twink why the fuck he’s making him stop, but Hook is looking off to the side and when Christian follows his sight, he can see Jack Perry himself coming down the hall texting away on his phone with no wonder in the world as to what’s transpiring in front of him.

With a grin as wide as the day he won his TNT championship with absolutely no help from anyone, Christian whistles his way. “What’s up, you piece of shit?”

Jack tiredly looks up from his phone and it takes a few moments but once he finally registers the sight in front of him, his lips are parting open and his dark brown eyes are widening to survey the two men. “What are-”

“He’s so much better than you, Jack,” Christian sighs with relief as he pushes back into the wet heat of Hook’s mouth. His hand relaxes in Hook’s hair to let him suck Christian at his own pace, and Christian is laughing when Hook decides to take him in quick, almost desperately, the way he does it. “Hook doesn’t - doesn’t bitch or complain at all.” His hand rubs over the TNT title on his shoulder as he looks Jack over. “He’s just perfect, fucking takes it so good too.” With a hum, his steel blue gaze dips back to Hook’s fervent sucking. “If it’s so good now, just imagine how good he’ll feel when I take him back to my locker room and fill him up all over again.”

Jack is speechless watching the two men, especially Hook. His eyes are dull and almost lifeless watching Hook let Christian do what he wants to him, that fucking snake, and after all the shit Christian did to him and all the times he told Hook about the unforgivable ways Christian treated him-

“Why don’t we give Jack here a little show, Hook?” Christian pats his title before tugging Hook back by his hair. “Let’s make that pretty face of yours even prettier, huh?”

With a wide mouth, Hook sticks out his tongue and lids his eyes open to watch Christian as Christian begins to jerk himself to completion. As the last waves of heat flare through him, Christian is finishing with a long groan all over Hook’s face, his eyes boring into Hook’s as he does so to watch the first drops beautify his face even more. Each drop brings to light another gorgeous feature that Jack doesn’t have, will never have, and as he clutches tighter to his title, he looks over to see the absolute fear and betrayal still spread across Jack’s stupid face.

Even better than winning the TNT title or coming all over Hook’s beautiful face is getting to stick it to that piece of shit, Jack Perry, over and over again.

With a moan, Christian pumps out that last drop of come from his cock. His tongue swiping along his lips, he looks back down to Hook and leads him up with fingers under his chin until he’s licking the mess from his face; chin, cheeks, and forehead, his eyes moving toward Jack every so often but to his dismay, Jack scurries off before he can finish.

It’s just such a shame for Jack that they all work together, so there’ll be even more opportunities to accost Jack with what Christian hopes will be endless escapades, until Jack is deeply buried under the ground.

After taking that last drop from his cheek, Christian licks his way into Hook’s mouth to ravage the inside. Every crevice and every ridge, he explores it and takes it for his own, and it won’t be the only thing of Hook’s he takes. He’ll take over every single part of him until he’s the perfect protege, until he’s molded into the perfect successor for Christian, until it drives  that grimy piece of shit known as Jungle Boy also known as Jack Perry also known as great big bitch boy absolutely crazy with rage and jealousy and hatred.

Christian drags his lips away so slow that it could be teasing. His eyes flutter open to drink upon Hook’s dark gaze, and the slightest smile hanging off Hook’s lips clues Christian into the fact that Hook might want the same thing.

With a grin, Christian nods his head down the hall. “Buckle my pants back up and we’ll figure out how to take down that piece of shit together.”

As they head down the hall together, Christian’s hand never having left his TNT title and the other gripping firmly on Hook’s ass that he will, no doubt, fill up over and over again, Christian has never seen his future light up so bright in his life.

[kasey-writes-stuff]

AEW anon here- i’m glad I found you too! I love your headcanons for OC and Kenny. Thank you for writing them :) I love the idea of Orange being the most unbearably casual ler ever. like just wrecking your shit and not saying a word just smirking down at you as he puts in the least effort possible but you’re still dying. He’s one of my faves at the moment so I was delighted to hear your thoughts about him! I think it’s so adorable to think of him as a lee too. I feel like he’d have one of those silent laughs where you can’t tell he’s laughing at first especially with his sunglasses on. His shoulders just bounce and he’s all squeaky until his true laugh comes out. What are your thoughts on Danhausen? And who are some of your other favorite AEW wrestlers? Thank you again for taking the time to post hc’s!

Aahhh yes yes yes so true he really would but he’d have the biggest smile on his face and he’d like still be trying to act sooo casual like nothings happening even though he’s literally shaking with laughter

DAN I MISS HIM I MISS HIM SO MUCH HELPP

He gives me ler vibes for sure maybe ler with just barely some switch but mostly ler

He will only let a very small group tickle him but even when he does they never get away with it

Said group is best friends, OC, Kris and Ethan page (my beloved)

Dan is ofc a very very silly ler he definitely leans playful ler but can be rough when needed or wanted

He definitely makes a lot of silly noises when tickling his lees

He’d use teases like “oh yea I can tell you’re definitely not ticklish here at all” when the lee is denying being ticklish

He’s definitely one for sneak tickles at anytime anywhere

But he does keep the more drawn out tickles to more smaller settings like between you and the group mentioned above

But he’ll definitely still sneak up and give some squeezes or pokes or maybe even a quick scribble just as he’s passing you no matter what you’re doing

When he does do the more drawn out tickles he definitely is asking as its starting “hmm should I be very nice danhausen or should I be very evil danhausen?”

Sometimes he’s genuinely asking what you’d like other times it’s a rhetorical question and he’s most definitely picking and just using it as a tease

Hmm I feel like he’d like hips and sides a lot because of like how jumpy they usually make people

As for himself he doesn’t have a favorite spot to be tickled really but if he had to try and choose one it would be his ears cause they’re not really bad they just get a few giggles

Worst spots umm hmm see since I can’t really picture him being tickled it’s hard to get an idea for his worst spots

I’m gonna say ribs

Some other faves of mine are

Jon moxley

Wheeler yuta

Sammy Guevara

Britt baker

Adam cole

Hook

Jack perry

Bryan danielson

Hangman Adam page

There’s probably others I’m forgetting but those are the first to come to mind

Aahhh I’m so glad you’re enjoying the HC’s if you have any requests I’m totally open to it and to discussing your thoughts on them

[sydsaint]

Below you will find my run-down and thoughts on the AEW All-In card. Before you read, I'd just like to remind everyone that these are MY opinions. If you don't like or agree with them then that's fine. But I don't want to see anyone give me hate or anything negative for what I'm about to say. If you disagree with something that's fine with me. And if you'd like to discuss said difference of opinions in a polite manner then please feel free to reply or DM me with your opposed opinions. I'm always down to talk about wrestling with other people. Thank you for your time, now let's proceeded with the run-down.

ZERO HOUR -

(Adamjf v Aussie Open)

MAX AND ADAM BEAT AUSSIE OPEN!! THE BOYFRIENDS ARE TAG CHAMPS

The whole match was great.

Max hitting the kangaroo kick and just the general shenanigans were a great way to prelude to main event of All-In.

Adam getting to be his goofy self was wonderful.

Mark and Kyle looked great as always. They are a great tag team.

Good match 7/10⭐

(Jack Perry V HOOK)

Another zero hour banger

That limo spot into the windshield was great

Jack is so dramatic, truly Christians child

HOOK looked phenomenal as always

Jack having the belt for a bit was cool, but I'm glad that Tyler got it back

I'm looking forward to seeing what Jack does next with this heel solo run

Great match! 8/10⭐

Main Card-

(CM Punk V Samoa Joe)

The Punk pop was insane. Cult of Personality is ingrained in my brain

Punk in his slutty little trunks was ❤️

Joe also looked fine as hell 😩

Match was good for what it was

I really don't care for the whole separate title that Punk has but eh

That spot where Joe slammed Punk into the bottom of the announce table was great

Plus the classic Joe walk-away spot was good

Punk supporting Trans rights with that girl in the crowd after the match was wonderful king shit

Joe should have won in my opinion but eh

Good opener match 6/10⭐

(Golden Elite V Bullet Club Gold and Konosuke Takeshita)

Juice Robinson is a little gremlin and I love him for it

Jay looked fire in the white tho 🥵

Heel Konosuke is gonna be the death of me tbh.

Ken, Adam, and Kota also looked great

Jay activated no-sell Ibushi with those chops which delighted me

Ken hit a nasty knee at one point

Juice was on some gremlin shit the whole time as he should be

Takeshita looked phenomenal the whole match I'm loving his heel run

Great match! 7/10⭐

(Best Friends with Eddie Kingston and Penta V Blackpool Combat Club with Santana and Ortiz)

Eddie being on-sight with Claudio was great

Yuta was being an evil little gremlin and I love him

Santana and Ortiz looked great and I can't wait to see them back in tag action

Jon was being mean as usual. Great stuff

Penta scared the fuck outta me when he got taken out only for him to come back all evil and hitting one hell of a ladder spot

All the chaos was great

That ending with Jon and Eddie all covered in blood next to one another. Truly two divorced husbands trying to salvage their marriage 🥺🥺

Stadium Stampede was so fun! 9/10⭐

(Young Bucks V FTR)

Kinda a lackluster match for me tbh

Matt and Nick looked great in yellow

Dax Harwood is eww

We love Cash tho

The action was pretty good tho

Bucks should have won!!

Okay match overall 6/10⭐

(Jericho v Ospreay)

Will was looking mad good

They made me listen to a live Judas performance which was ew

Props to Jericho for still cooking in the ring tho. He hit some good spots

Will was way better tho. That mfer was hitting some wild moves in the ring

Truly the Aerial Assassin

The pop for Will was so nice to hear. Tony Khan better sign him when he's done in New Japan

Plus Jericho lost so yay!

Solid match. Good spots. 7/10⭐

(Darby Allin and Sting V Swerve Strickland and Christian Cage)

Coffin matches are always fun

Joker Sting was dope AF

Darby hit that coffin drop into the coffin TWICE!!! The madman

Poor Nick Wayne got bullied again. Tony Khan leave that little boy alone!

DILF CHRISTIAN LOOKING GOOD 😍

Swerve Strickland is also mad fine 🥵.

The ending with Darby hitting the coffin drop while Swerve was in there was great

Sting you are old. Please stop making me worry about you in every match with all the insane shit you do

Great match! 8/10⭐

(Hikaru Shida V Saraya V Toni Storm V Britt Baker)

All the ladies were looking good 😍 (minus Saraya cuz no)

The disrespect of letting that despicable women Saraya not only come out to we will rock you when Emi is RIGHT THERE and letting her win??? Tony Khan will pay for his crimes.

Toni, Britt, and Shida all we're great in the match.

Saraya can't wrestle for shit and her and her racist, sexist, transphobic boyfriend are disgusting. Tony Khan you can do better

I feel bad for Shida because Tony basically used her as a placeholder for two weeks and she deserves so much more than that.

Worst match of the night but still okay I guess 🫠 4/10⭐

(The Acclaimed ✂️ V House of Black)

Casters rap was 🔥🔥 as usual

Bowens looked so happy to have Daddy Ass back

The whole place scissoring was great

HOB looked great in white. Especially my queen Julia Hart

The action was great and Billy looked good

The Acclaimed winning and the speech after was great. I'm so glad that Billy isn't retiring like we all thought

Great match! New champs! 8/10⭐

(MJF V Adam Cole)

THE DRAMA!

THE CINEMA!

Oh my gosh that match was so good

The draw had me out of my seat!!

Then Max gave Adam five more minutes this time!

Roddy came out but Adam ultimately decided that he'd rather have Max as a friend. My heart 😭

This match was so dramatic and I was eating it up lemme tell you

Adam's Panama Sunrise is a thing of beauty tbh

I can't wait to see what's next for these two boyfriends now that they're tag champs

Match of the night! 10/10⭐

Overall- Great PPV 9/10 rating ⭐