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[thefallennightmare]

Fika-Joakim 'Jolly' Karlsson: 2/2

*made by @madomens. check her out!*

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Joakim 'Jolly' Karlsson x OFC.

Warnings: some angst, swearing, lots of fluff, smut, mentions of death.

Summary: To appease her dying father’s wishes, Astrid takes over the family coffee shop: Fïka. Plans to restore it to its former glory: setting her dreams and ambitions aside- that is until she meets an unexpected stranger. This very stranger changes the trajectory of her life.

Authors Note: Here is part two my lovelies!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @sammyjoeee @somewhere-diamond @concreteemo @ladispo0p @to-be-written @lilmonster218 @whenthesummerdies @lizzieseveride @blackveilomens @malice-ov-mercy @lma1986 @klutzy-kay24 @baddestomens @cncohshit @jilliemiw86 @cookiesupplier

ASTRID

Straightening out my black floral sundress, I knocked on the front door and waited patiently. Surprisingly it was a warm February evening in Los Angeles but I still wrapped my jacket tighter around me and then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, opting to leave it down tonight. Exhaustion crept into my bones after a long day of running the cafe but at about seven, I left Jessica and Tori to close up so I could come here. 

All day, I could only think of mine and Jolly’s kiss and the way it made me feel so alive. Yes, it made it harder to work today but it was worth it when I remembered how his lips tasted or how he smelled. Every part of him had absorbed into me with our kiss and I craved more. 

Earlier today, Jolly texted me the address to his house and a time of when to show up. So here I was six p.m. on the dot shaking out the nerves just as the door opened, the music from the house spilling into the street.

“Hey, Astrid!” 

I smiled at Jesse. “Hi!” 

He waved me inside. “Come on in. Make yourself at home. 

Stepping over the threshold, I did my best to calm my nerves again when I noticed a lot of unfamiliar faces and I felt very out of place. I was two seconds away from turning on my heels and leaving until Y/N stepped into the living room from a hallway. 

“Astrid, hey!” Her cheery voice waved me over. “Jolly told me you were coming. I’m so glad because I’m so over being the only girl at these things.” 

“Yeah,” I chuckled, then held up a bag. “I-uh-brought some sweets from Fika. It was the batch that didn’t sell today and I figured you guys would enjoy them more than being tossed out.” 

Y/N’s eyes lit up as she took the bag. “Oh my gosh, you know the way to my heart. Let me introduce you to everyone.” 

She linked her arms with mine, and that simple action washed away every anxiety I had tonight. I couldn’t explain it but Y/N seemed to be the sunshine in a dark room, making everyone forget the bad in their life for a few moments. 

First, she pointed to a couple that was leaning against the kitchen island, hand in hand. 

“This is Malcolm,” Y/N motioned to a tall man with long auburn curls and hazel eyes that mirrored my own. 

“And his boyfriend, Chase,” then she pointed to a man next to Malcolm. 

His head was buzzed, only fuzz of his blonde hair, but his bright blue eyes were striking. 

“They’re also my best friends and roommates,” Y/N informed. 

“Nice to meet you, Astrid,” Malcolm smiled. 

Chase nodded. “Jolly hasn’t stopped talking about you all night.” 

I shuffled my feet, wondering what exactly Jolly had told them about me. “Oh?” 

“It seems as if someone is smitten,” he smirked behind the cup as he brought it to his lips, taking a sip. 

Y/N waved them off before leading me toward another group of guys that sat at the kitchen table. 

“Geez, you weren’t kidding about being the only girl here,” I joked with a smile. 

“Tell me about it so if I seem a bit clingy, I apologize. It’s just nice to have another female here.” 

I patted her arm reassuringly. “You’re fine, Y/N. I don’t mind at all.” 

As we stopped in front of the table, six sets of eyes stared at me. All of them had a wide variety of tattoos but warm smiles. 

“Okay so,” Y/N started rattling off names as she pointed to everyone. “That’s Nicholas, Nick but you can call him Folio, Matt, Davis, Michael, and Bryan.” 

“Sorry, it’s a lot of names thrown at you at once,” Folio apologized. 

“If I couldn’t remember names, I wouldn’t be good at my job,” I shrugged with a laugh. 

“Oh, that’s right! You own that cafe on W. 9th? Fika?” Matt asked. 

I wore a proud smile. “That’s the one.”

For the next few minutes, I chatted with all of them until movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Peering up to the sliding glass door of the house, I noticed both Noah and Jolly standing outside on the back deck, grilling some sort of food. It seemed like they were having a deep conversation, Noah running his hand over his face a few times and Jolly listening intently. 

Almost as if he felt me staring, Jolly glanced away from the grill, his dark eyes immediately finding mine. I gave him a small wave, one he returned before going back to his conversation with Noah. 

“I hope you’re hungry,” Nicholas said, pulling my attention back inside. “Jolly insisted on cooking tonight for all of us.” 

I played with the straps of my purse. “He cooks?” 

“Out of all of us, he’s one of the best. Noah likes to cook but if it were up to either of them, it’s always Jolly,” Matt said. 

“The rest of us just eat,” Folio finished with a chuckle. 

As I continued to talk with all of Jolly’s friends, a genuine smile on my face, I felt someone's warm embrace encased around me as a gentle hand rested on my lower back. 

“Käraste,” Jolly’s deep voice breathed into my hairline.

Gazing up at him, my breath caught in my throat when I met his dark eyes. I’d seen them up close many times before but every single time, they took my breath away. The tan long sleeve he wore did wonders for his skin and half of his long hair was tied back into a bun so I was able to fully see him. 

“Hi,” I turned towards him. 

He motioned to everyone behind me. “Are they being nice?” 

I patted his chest, fingers messing with his necklace. “Yes, very welcoming.” 

“Good,” he hummed and laced our fingers together. “Are you hungry?” 

Suddenly the smell of fresh food filled my nostrils and my stomach growled, something Jolly picked up on because he chuckled. Pulling out the stool at the kitchen island for me, I sat with a smile of thanks and watched as he grabbed a plate. 

He motioned to the wide spread of chicken and steak shish kabobs with a variety of different veggies. “Anything a no on this list?” 

“Nope. I’ll have a little bit of everything please,” I said. 

While Jolly filled my plate with food, Noah motioned toward the open fridge. “Would you like something to drink?” 

“Water is fine, thank you.” 

After he set down a bottle of water in front of me, Y/N was trying to make herself a plate of food but Noah quickly smacked her hands away. 

“Noah, I can-,” she started. 

“Not a chance, angel. Sit down and I’ll bring it to you.” 

I watched the two of them interact with a faint smile, Noah brushing back Y/N’s hair after he brought her a plate and lay a soft kiss on her lips. 

Jolly set down my own plate and I thanked him with a wide smile. “Thank you, Jolly.” 

We sat in silence for a few moments as we ate while everyone else had their own conversations but when his rough fingers grazed over my knee, I turned my head to look at Jolly. 

“Did you ever figure out why the alarm went off last night?” 

I groaned while setting down my fork. “I’m not sure. When I checked it out, every door was locked shut so I’m unsure why the alarm went off.” 

“Maybe a glitch?” Jolly suggested while taking our plates to the sink. 

“Hm, maybe,” I tapped my fingers on the edge of the counter. 

He quickly returned to my side to grasp my hand and led me toward the evergreen sectional couch. He pulled down with him and I crossed one leg over the other and his hand immediately rested on my knee, tracing random shapes on the skin there. 

“You look beautiful,” Jolly mused. 

I tried to hide behind my hair so he couldn’t see the way I blushed at his comment. But he brushed it away, tucking it behind my neck to fully expose myself to him.

“Don’t hide, Astrid,” he said. 

I ran my hands over my thighs. “I’m a little nervous.”

“Because of me?” Jolly wondered, almost removing his hand from my knee but I placed mine over it. 

“Of dating in general, I suppose,” I admitted with a long breath. “This is the first time in a long while that anyone has shown any interest in me.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” he said while turning his body inward towards me. 

I shrugged, not wanting to meet his gaze. “I’ve been so busy with school before having to drop out to take over Fika that dating took a back seat.” 

Jolly’s fingers grazed over the back of my neck and I leaned into his touch. “So you never had time to focus on yourself?” 

“I guess, yes in a sense,” I agreed with a shrug. “I’ve never put my feelings first before anything so it’s a bit new.” 

“What are those feelings telling you right now?” He wondered, one hand on my knee and the other resting on the back of my neck. 

Swallowing thickly, I turned my face up towards him so our lips were meters apart. I watched as his gaze bounced from my eyes down to my lips to trace every movement of my tongue as it glided over them before resting on my eyes once again. 

“I would like to kiss you again,” I breathed while tracing a finger over the stubble on his chin. 

Something flashed in Jolly’s eyes before he peeked over my shoulder to see that everyone else had been preoccupied with other things then he linked our fingers together and gently but quickly pulled me up from the couch. 

“Would it be alright if we go up to my bedroom?” 

My heart skipped a beat at his question. While it was clear that Jolly was filled with anticipation for kissing me again, he still wanted to make sure I was alright with going up into his bedroom with him. 

A little too eagerly, I nodded which caused him to grasp my hips and lead me up the stairs, away from the small group of friends that pretended to ignore us slipping away. But quickly glancing back, I saw Y/n who was sitting on Noah’s lap on the couch, giving me a playful wink. 

In the seclusion of the upstairs hallway, Jolly stopped in front of a closed door but made no effort to open it. Instead, I felt his warm breath over my ear right before his lips pressed a tender kiss to my neck. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

With his hands still on my hips, I turned in his embrace to lock my arms around his neck. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day.” 

Not saying anything but keeping me in his embrace, Jolly opened the door and led me backward into his room. It was dark but my eyes quickly adjusted to his face as I heard him kick the door shut. There was an eerie silence in the confines around us but our heavy breathing seemed to break through it. My name was hushed on his lips as his hand grasped my cheek, the roughness of his fingers tracing over my bottom lip. I pressed a kiss to them causing him to suck in a breath. 

Jolly swallowed hard, his chest heaving with shaky whispers as he spoke again. 

“Nu när jag har dig vill jag inte släppa dig.”

Blinking up at him, I was rooted to the ground, spinning while standing straight. Dizzy in my blood and my soul. I was breathing like I was Icarus when he finally felt the air between his wax wings as he flew towards the sun like I’d been inhaling a special kind of oxygen you could only find in the clouds. I was trying to keep myself from breaking the spell between us to ask him what he said in Swedish. 

With his hand still caressing my cheek, Jolly leaned in so carefully all while breathing but yet not breathing. Our hearts beat between us and he was so close now, I could almost feel the softness of his lips. While our first kiss seemed to have a rushed start, it was as if Jolly wanted to enjoy the build-up; and take his time with me. 

I couldn’t feel my legs, my fingers, or the cold emptiness of this room because all I felt was Jolly everywhere, filling everything in and around me. Then all at once, Jolly’s lips were on mine, softer than anything I’d ever known. My hands found his chest, grasping his necklace between my fingers while one hand tangled in my hair and the other grazed up the bare skin of my thigh.

His lips were soft like the first snowfall of the season. They tasted like biting into cotton candy for the first time and the explosion of sweetness filling your mouth; so effortlessly sweet. I felt weightless while floating in the water when his tongue slipped between my lips and I moaned as our kiss deepened. Slowly, Jolly backed me up towards his bed and when I felt the edge of it smack against the back of my knees, the two of us fell into a heap of tangled limbs and tongues. 

I giggled into the kiss as he muttered a slew of curses. 

“I meant to be more suave with that,” Jolly admitted while marking my neck with tender teeth. 

I titled my head to the side, giving him more access. “I appreciate the effort.” 

Leaving the mark on my neck, he attacked my lips once again with such fever it made my head spin. Our teeth smacked against each other as our tongues devoured each other with such hunger. Jolly’s calloused hand grazed up my leg to my thigh before resting at the end of my dress. 

“Astrid,” he breathed when my hands slipped underneath his shirt. 

His skin was a blaze as my fingers danced across the waistband of his jeans which made him break away from our kiss, resting his forehead against mine. 

“Hang on,” Jolly muttered before untangling himself from me. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried. 

Suddenly, a lamp clicked on, painting the room in a faint golden hue and it was then that I got a good look at Jolly. He was standing at the end of his bed now, while I lay on his bed on my elbows, and his dark eyes stalked me like a hunter with prey. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath and his lips were swollen from the force of our kiss. When I trailed my gaze down the long length of him, I nearly choked on a breath when I realized that I had done nothing wrong; his cock was prominent in his jeans, straining for release. 

Licking my lips, I locked eyes with Jolly again to see him take out the top half of his hair from its elastic, the strands falling to his shoulders in waves. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, käraste,” he ran a hand over his face. “I just want to slow things down in case this isn’t something you wanted.” 

I sat up now and shook my head. “Jolly, if I didn’t have the slight inclination something more than just making out might happen tonight, I wouldn’t have agreed to come up here with you.” 

He nodded but still made no move to come back to bed, instead stuffed his hands deep into the pocket of his jeans. So briefly, I faltered and pulled my knees closer to me. 

“Unless this isn’t something you want?” 

“Käraste, all I want is you. The thought of you has overtaken every one of my thoughts the last few days,” Jolly admitted while taking a tentative step towards me. 

My heart beat wildly in my chest with his admission so I extended my hand towards him, inviting him back to his bed. The familiarity of his hands grasped mine as he knelt on his bed, towering over me. The knuckles with tattoos grazed over my cheek just before his lips met mine again. I allowed him to slip his hands now underneath my dress to pull it up over my head then tossed it to the floor. 

Pulling away from our kiss, Jolly sat back on his knees to gaze down at me wearing nothing but a pair of black panties; me kicking off my shoes when she tumbled to the bed together. 

“Fuck,” he sighed, eyes going dark with lust as he continued to stare at me. “You’re beautiful.” 

I cast my eyes downward with a blush which made Jolly lift my chin with a knuckle so I could peer up at him. 

“Don’t hide, Astrid. I want to see all of you.” 

I wasn't sure why I was nervous in front of him. I’d never been shy when it came to sex, knowing what I liked and being vocal about it, but now sitting in front of Jolly like this, I couldn't stop myself from hiding. 

He was gentle as his lips found mine again, this kiss slower, more sensual, as I leaned up into him while rising to my knees. I made quick work of taking off his shirt, only breaking our kiss for a moment, and scratched my nails over his chest, up to his shoulder. Jolly hissed in pleasure and then began to lie me back on his bed, the warm comforter bringing a sense of comfort to my chilled skin. 

Jolly began kissing over the tattoos across my chest, his hums of approval etched into me, and I leaned farther back into the mattress, exposing all of him to me. My pussy ached with such force, I needed some sort of pressure to alleviate the pain, so I grabbed Jolly’s hips to bring him closer to me, the rough material of his jeans brushing over the thin material of my underwear. 

“Shit,” I groaned.

Breaking away from littering my chest with tiny marks, Jolly sat up to quickly remove his jeans, joining the growing pile of our clothes on the floor. As he stood at the end of the bed, I assessed his tattoos the same way he had done mine. His entire left arm was covered in a sleeve of various designs. His chest had a woman with a mask and winged helmet, roses, and directly in the middle of his chest was a shining diamond. Gazling lower, I noticed he had a tattoo on his right knee. 

I licked my lips when I took in the full sight of Jolly, standing in front of me in his gray briefs, hair a disheveled mess from my hands running through it, and lips bruised from the force of our kiss. 

“Astrid.” His deep voice made my eyes snap up to his. “Are you sure?” 

“Please,” I nodded once, my voice hushed due to being lost in lust. Weeks of flirting, stolen glances, and soft touches had led up to this moment and I was in dire need of release. “I need you, Joakim.”

Darkness shadowed his eyes and slowly began crawling up my body, leaving small kisses along each of the tattoos on my leg, the one on my thigh, and my ribs. He linked his hand with mine which had the Medusa tattoo and locked it above my head. 

“Say it again,” he groaned into the crook of my neck, his cock pressing to the inside of my thigh. 

My nails raked down his back. “Joakim.” 

His chest rumbled low with a noise I’d never heard before as he quickly slipped off my underwear so now I was completely bare for him. Jolly’s finger brushed between my folds, gathering up the wetness between my legs, and I shivered underneath him. 

“So wet.” 

He slipped one finger inside of me then began a languid pace of fucking me with his finger. My eyes fluttered shut only for the briefest of moments until Jolly’s deep voice rasped in my ear. 

“Look at me, Astrid.” 

Snapping my eyes open, I watched him through hazy vision as Jolly peered down to my pussy, watching his finger disappear inside of me. 

“Faster,” I breathed. “Please.” 

All at once, Jolly’s pace quickened and when his warm mouth covered my left nipple, tongue and teeth teasing, I bucked my hips into his hand. My knees buckled when he added a second finger, spearing me wide open. 

“Joakim,” I moaned while grasping at the back of his head, keeping him in place. 

His actions on my nipple halted briefly. “Fuck, say it again. I need to hear you say my name again.” 

I did, like a mantra when my orgasm began to crest then all at once washed through me in a tidal wave. Just before I could scream out my release, Jolly swallowed them with a kiss so spellbinding, I couldn’t feel the pad of his thumb on my clit to work me through the aftershocks. With the heat of a second orgasm building, I ran my hands down his stomach to pull on the waistband of his briefs. Jolly understood because, with my help, he shimmed out of them before kicking them off to the side. 

Breaking away from the kiss, I stared down between us and let out a groan. His cock was long but thick and I licked my lips, suddenly wanting a taste. Using my strength, I pushed Jolly on his chest so he was lying on the bed now. 

“Käraste,” he warned. “I’m not going to last-.” 

I hushed him by grabbing his cock with a tight grasp. “Just a little taste.” 

Jolly jerked when my hand started to move up and down, spreading the precum around the head with my thumb. Glancing up at him through the strands of hair that fell into my face, my breath stuttered at the sight. His head was buried in the pillow, long forearm covering his eyes, but his lips were parted. The muscles in his stomach contracted as he forced himself to not let out a breath, anticipating my mouth sinking around him. 

So that's exactly what I did. 

Wetting my lips, I hollow my cheeks before taking Jolly in my mouth all at once, never once gagging. His guttural groans broke through the otherwise silent bedroom when I held myself there for a few seconds, my tongue pressing on the underside of his cock. Then my lips parted around his thick, veiny cock, tasting the salt of his precum in my mouth. I hummed in sheer approval, loving how he tasted and needing more of him. I slid down his shaft until my nose was buried in his dark hairs and his crown struck the back of my throat. 

“Fuck. Shit,” Jolly choked out and held my face in place with his hands before he began fucking my throat. 

I moaned around him as the tears gathered at the corner of my eyes and drool dribbled down my chin. But I refused to let him know I couldn’t handle it because I knew I could. 

“Astrid,” my name was strangled on his lips. 

Suddenly, his hips writhed underneath my nails as I clawed at him before I was pulled off of him with a loud pop and I squealed when he shifted our positions so now he was kneeling between my legs. Jolly leaned over to his bedside table to rummage through the drawer, immediately pulling out a condom. I swallowed thickly when the realization of what was about to happen sunk in. 

We’d already come this far, there was no way I’d deny us this. I wanted it just as much as he did. 

I needed this. 

But the fear of how it would change things between us lingered in the back of my mind while I watched Jolly roll the condom on his cock, hands shaking slightly. I noted that he was also nervous but opted to not say anything. 

Spreading my legs wide for him, Jolly angled the head of his cock towards me, and with a fast gaze up at me, I nodded. My back arched off the bed as my hands grasped at anything I could to keep myself centered when he sank his entire length inside of me. 

“Oh,” I whined a moan when the thickness of his cock filled me. 

“So tight,” Jolly grunted as his hips stilled, nipping his teeth on my breasts. 

We stayed like this for a few steady beats, our breaths syncing as soon as our bodies did. He lifted my thigh to my chest so he could bury himself deeper and I squeezed around him. 

“Please,” I husked while moving my hips. “I need you to move.” 

His eyes were blown wide with lust as leaned down to crush his lips to mine, immediately forcing his tongue in my mouth. Jolly’s hips began to move with such fever that the mattress beneath us began to creak. 

“Fuck, I forgot how loud my bed is,” he chuckled into the crook in my neck as he sucked on the tender skin there. 

In turn, I giggled but then hissed in sheer ecstasy when the head of his cock hit that perfect spot. The fire spread from my gut through my veins and when I clenched around him again, Jolly’s teeth grazed my ear, hips still holding his sensual, steady pace. 

“Touch yourself,” he urged. 

My fingers quickly the swollen nub between my legs and worked in the pattern I knew all too well; the one that would grant me the release that was about to break free. But I sensed that Jolly was holding back so I brushed the sweat-matted hair away from his face with my free hand, his dark eyes gone from pure bliss. 

“I need you to go faster. Please,” I sighed. 

While my body reacted in the most euphoric way to him, I needed him to hurt me in a sense. The harder and faster his cock slammed into me, the better it felt. 

Jolly laid a kiss on the inside of my palm. “I might not last long, käraste.” 

I paused my fingers against my clit to press a tender kiss on his lips, one he returned without a missed beat. 

“Neither am I. I’m so close, Joakim.” 

His head fell to my shoulder and nuzzled the side of my neck with his facial hair for a brief moment before pulling himself completely out of me. Before I could whine in protest, he flipped me to my stomach and dug his nails into my skin to hoist my hips up in the air. One large hand pressed against my back to keep me against the mattress while his other lined up his cock again however this time when he slipped inside, he was anything but gentle. 

My screams were muffled into the pillow when Jolly slammed into me from behind, over and over again with such force the headboard banged against the wall. Neither of us cared if anyone heard downstairs; only we mattered at this moment. The sound of skin slapping on skin tangled with the sounds of our moans of ecstasy and I thrived in the way his cock seemed to perfectly fit inside of me. His thickness filled me up completely. 

Reaching around, Jolly’s fingers found my clit and matched the pace with his hips, drawing fast circles in both directions and when his cock twitched inside of me, I knew that this was it. 

“Du är underbar, Astrid. Jag kan inte få nog av dig,” Jolly spoke into the skin of my back as he left a variety of kisses along my spine. 

I was gone in a haze of ecstasy that I didn’t even pick up my name in between the Swedish words. My toes curled with a scream when my second orgasm slammed into me without warning; without care to who heard us. 

“Joakim,” I writhed underneath him, my arousal coating the condom. 

Wrapping an arm around me, he lifted me so now I kneeled on the bed so he could fuck up into me. His fingers pinched and pulled on my nipples and I rested my head against his shoulder. 

“So warm. So perfect. Mina,” he promised with a kiss to the side of my head before Jolly finally emptied himself inside the condom.

We fell into a heap of exhaustion onto his bed then slowly, he slipped away from me so he could dispose of the condom. I lay there, clutching the pillow close to my chest as the exhaustion weighed heavy on my eyes. With all of the Swedish words Jolly had spoken to me, the last one was one I recognized. 

Mina. 

Mine. 

The bed dipped behind me and strong arms pulled me into a warm chest and I sighed in content. 

“Are you alright?” Jolly asked, pressing a kiss to the back of my shoulder. 

“More than alright,” I hummed while shifting closer to him; his cock twitched against my bare ass. 

His fingers traced up and down the skin of my ribs while we lay there in complete but comfortable silence. I looked around his bedroom noticing for the first time how boxes were scattered about and it was vaguely decorated. 

“We just moved in a few weeks ago. Haven’t found the time to unpack everything,” Jolly answered my silent question. 

“Well, maybe if you weren’t coming to a certain cafe every day, maybe you would find the time,” I teased while linking our hands together and kissing the tattoos on his knuckles. 

“I can’t help it. She makes the best kanelbullars,” Jolly retorted. 

“You know,” I began. “Never mind, it’s silly.” 

He tilted my head back so I could look at him. “Nothing you say is silly, Astrid. Go on, tell me.” 

Biting my lip, I turned in his embrace so now I was laying my head on his chest and my left leg was thrown over his hips almost locking him in place. The touch of his fingers along my back brought chills to my skin so he covered us with a black throw blanket that honestly, only covered me but he never complained. 

“When I first took over Fika after my father passed away, I had every intention of selling it. It took a toll on my grandparents when they owned it and they nearly got a divorce. Thankfully they were able to make it through but my parents weren’t so lucky,” I admitted. 

Jolly remained quiet as I continued. “They divorced when I was young and my mom wanted nothing to do with me or Fika claiming it was cursed, so she left. I stayed with my dad and helped out there every day until I went away to college.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hairline. 

I shrugged. “College wasn't for me anyway so when-uh-when my dad got sick, I came back home to help him. His mind wasn’t right so he nearly went bankrupt.” 

“Sick?” 

Resting my chin on Jolly’s chest, I looked up at him. “Alzheimer’s. It took him pretty quickly so he didn’t suffer but as a result, he left me with Fika which was days away from closing. If it wasn't for my mormor investing more of her money into Fika, there’d be no way we’d be open right now.”

The corner of his mouth tilted up in a smile. “Mormor? So you do know Swedish.” 

I patted his chest with a snort. “Very little.” 

Jolly brushed a kiss along my forehead. “I’m sorry about your father.” 

With a tight-lined smile, I decided to continue with my original train of thought, not wanting to go into too much detail about my father and his death. 

Since you were the one who found him slumped over in his chair, pill bottles askew. 

“When my grandparents moved back to Sweden, all I had was my dad. It was the two of us for a long time so when he died a few months ago, I felt lost and alone. It made me realize how afraid I’d always been of being alone. I’ve trusted people too easily because of this fear and ended up getting my heart broken.” 

Jolly’s body tensed underneath me as I continued speaking, running my fingers over the tattoo on his chest. “With you, though. It’s been a nice breath of fresh air; something different. I haven’t had that fear since you walked into Fika that morning.” 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’ll always be here for you.” 

I glanced up at Jolly. “But what I was getting at originally was that I had every intention to sell, ready to get rid of the place that held too many negative thoughts.” 

“But?” He caressed the side of my face. 

“But,” I smiled. “There have been far too many positive thoughts lately that outweigh the bad.” 

I kissed his chin, the stubble scratching my lips, and Jolly squeezed my hips. “I’m glad, Astrid.” 

Now I pressed a kiss to his lips, suddenly finished with talking, and straddled him. I pinned his hands above his head with one hand while I reached for his cock with the other. 

“Jolly!” 

Persistent knocking on his door made me hastily crawl off of him and reach for the first piece of clothing I could find; his tan long sleeve. Jolly sat up in bed to now cover both of our bottom halves with his large comforter. 

Giving me a quick glance, I nodded as he ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah?” 

Tentatively, the door opened and in walked Jesse, who had a container of blueberries in his hand, popping a few in his mouth as he stared at us with raised brows. 

“Oh, shit. Am I interrupting something?” 

Jolly ran a hand over his face with a groan. “Do you need something?” 

“Astrid left her phone in the kitchen and I think someone’s been calling her,” Jesse informed while tossing my phone on Jolly’s bed. 

Thanking him with a smile, I reached for it and sucked in a breath when I noticed all the notifications and missed calls; Jese and Jolly having a conversation amongst themselves. 

“Noah wants to know if you’re still up for working tonight.” 

Jolly nodded before looking at me, running a hand down my back. “Everything alright?” 

Ignoring him briefly, I looked towards Jesse. “How long has my phone been going off?” 

“Just a couple of minutes,” he said while popping a few more blueberries in his mouth. 

Glancing over at Jolly, I sighed. “It’s the cafe. The alarm has been going off the last few minutes. I disarmed it but should go over there to look to make sure everything is alright.” 

“I’ll come with you,” he said. 

I rested a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. It seems like you have work to do. Plus, Tori and Jessica are there with the police officers. I won't be alone.” 

Just then someone walked past Jolly’s room and scolded Jesse who was still leaning against the wall, stuffing handfuls of blueberries in his mouth. 

“Jesse Cash! What is your obsession with not only fruit but interrupting people?!” Y/N scolded while crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I was bringing Astrid her phone,” he defended. 

It didn’t matter to her because she waved him out of the room. “You’re unbelievable.” 

I did my best to giggle at the two of them but the worry about what could have tripped the alarm weighed heavy in my mind. Eventually, Jesse left the room but Y/N briefly peaked her head in. 

“Not trying to interrupt because I understand the feeling,” she chuckled before speaking to Jolly. “Um, Noah is ready to get to work whenever you are. Just because of the deadline-.” 

“I know,” he nodded. “Give me a couple of minutes. I’ll meet him there.” 

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t bother to ask Jolly what kind of work pulls him away this late. 

“Astrid?” 

Glancing away from the text I had been working out to Jessica, I smile at Y/N. “Yea?” 

“I’m leaving in a few minutes. I can walk with you to your car if you’d like,” she offered. 

“I’d like that, thanks Y/N,” I nodded with another smile. 

Closing the door behind her, both Jolly and I slipped out from underneath the blanket to get dressed back into our clothes. While I was stepping into my vans, I finished the text message I’d been trying to send Jessica for the last few minutes. 

Me: I’ll be there as soon as I can! I’m so sorry I wasn’t near my phone. Any idea what set off the alarm?

Jessica: No idea! We checked every single sensor and door, there should have been no reason for it to go off. Thankfully, Tori and I were still in the parking lot when it went off. We didn’t see anyone. 

“Käraste.” 

Glancing away from my phone, I hummed in response to Jolly who was handing me a sweater. “Take it, it’s cold outside.” 

When I reached for it, he pulled me into his embrace to lay a kiss on my lips. His tongue briefly brushed against my bottom lip before he pulled away. 

“Be careful,” he muttered to them. 

“I will,” with another peck, I stepped away from him to slip on his sweater. 

But before I could leave his bedroom, his fingers wrapped around my elbow to stop me. 

“The next few days I’ll be busy but maybe we can officially go on a date this weekend? Friday night?” 

“I’d like that,” I said with a wide smile but cursed under my breath. “I forgot Friday is my late night at the cafe. Saturday?” 

Jolly’s shoulders fell. “I have this thing for work. But I can bring you dinner Friday if you’d like. Keep you company.” 

My heart fluttered in my chest at the thought of that and I answered with a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’d love that. I’ll text you when I’m back home tonight.” 

With a small wave, I finally slipped through his bedroom door to make my way over to Fika. 

JOLLY

I lounged on my bed with my phone on my chest, aimlessly flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch on the television. It'd been a long day of media press so I wanted to spend a little while decompressing before heading out to dinner tonight. 

For what seemed like the third time this last minute, I checked my phone to see if Astrid had texted me back. 

She didn’t. 

She hadn’t texted me back in four days. 

And it was all my fault. 

We texted earlier in the week almost non stop when we weren’t busy with work, talking more about our date for Friday. However by Wednesday afternoon, it ceased when I had to cancel because of last minute media press that showed up. With the recent debut of our third album, Bad Omens was one of the most sought after artists for podcasts and interviews. Hence what we’d been doing all weekend long. 

That wasn’t the reason why she stopped talking to you, though. 

Groaning at the thought, I looked back at the text thread between Astrid and I. 

Käraste: Oh, that’s okay. I understand that work comes first. I’m free most nights next week since Jessica is comfortable with closing up the cafe for me. 

Me: I’ll let you know what my schedule looks like. 

Käraste: Okay :)

Read at 3:32 pm on Wednesday. 

Käraste: I made a fresh batch of kanelbullars if you were planning on coming by tonight. 

Read at 5:03 pm on Wednesday. 

Käraste: I thought I’d let you know that I made it home safe and the alarm company fixed the glitch with my system. So finally, it’s all figured out. 

Read at 10:21 pm on Wednesday. 

Me: 👍

Käraste: Not sure if you’re planning on coming in today but I have a lot of office work to get through so if I don’t see you that's why. 

Read at 10:00 a.m. Thursday. 

Käraste: I could always work in your booth, if you don’t mind my company. 

Read at 10:03 a.m. Thursday. 

Then with a shaky breath, I read the last message Astrid sent. 

Käraste: Message loud and clear, Jolly. 

Read at 11:47 p.m. Thursday. 

It was Monday now and I had every intention of replying back to her with my schedule for next week. Y/N mentioned in passing that she and Astrid had been texting and while she was hurt about me canceling our date, she understood why I had too. 

Did she though? You still haven’t told her who you are or what you do. 

The guilt of lying to Astrid and having to cancel ate away at me that it hindered me unable to respond. I found myself deep within my own head on if I’d be enough for her. Especially after our night together, I knew she deserved someone that would be home all the time and not on the road most of the year. 

That night replayed in my mind all the fucking time. All I could think about was the way she felt underneath me, the way she smelled; her scent still lingering on my pillows days after. The way she looked coming apart on my cock was stuck on a loop, so much so that a little while ago I was in the shower with one hand leaning against the wall and the other wrapped around my cock. 

A stern knock echoed in my hotel room and with a sigh, I turned off the television and dragged my feet over to it; already expecting who it was on the other side. 

“You have some explaining to do, Jolly,” Y/N scolded as she pushed her way inside my room, Noah trailing behind with a sorrowful smile. 

“What did I do?” I asked, shutting the door behind them. 

“What did you do?” Her eyes widened before she ran a hand through her brown hair. “Astrid told me you’ve ghosted her?” 

I stuffed my hands in my sweater pocket before falling into my computer chair with a huff of breath. “It’s complicated.” 

“How?” Y/N demanded while tapping her foot on the ground. “Because from the outside looking in, I see someone that was hurt by the choices you made. You hurt her, Jolly. She thinks she did something wrong and pushed you away. ” 

“She didn’t,” I sat up, resting my elbows on my knees. 

Noah sat on the edge of my bed but Y/N instead let out a long sigh before sitting next to him. 

“We know that,” Y/N pointed between her and Noah. “But Astrid feels that since the two of you slept together, you got what you wanted and now you don’t want anything to do with her.” 

“That’s not-,” I began. 

“Hang on,” Noah spoke up for the first time, shaking his head. “You and Astrid slept together?” 

My cock twitched in my sweats when the memory of the two of us tangled in the sheets came to mind. 

“The night of the housewarming party,” I admitted. “How did you know?” 

Y/N shrugged. “Girl talk. She needed someone to confide in and with my own experience, I felt like I could give her the advice she needed.” 

“Your own experience?” Noah raised her brows at her. 

“Ok while I don’t have experience of being ghosted, per say. I do have experience on what happens when you don’t talk about the things bothering you,” she said while rolling her eyes

“I didn’t expect for it to end up like this. But with how busy we’re going to be the next few months, it won't work. This is a perfect example. We have been busy the last few days with media bullshit. Astrid doesn't even know who we are. I had you guys keep Bad Omens a secret from her the night of the party. What kind of relationship starts off with lies?” 

“So you think it’s better to ignore her after having sex with her?” Y/N’s voice was raised. 

I winced at her words. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“Jolly, while you didn’t physically leave her to go somewhere, you left her emotionally. You ignored her and expected what? To have a positive outcome?” 

“No,” I shifted in my seat. “I just don’t want to disappoint her with always having to leave for a tour. She’s had a rough life from what she told me. She’s all alone.” 

“Exactly why what you did was a dick move,” Y/N said sternly but then apologized when Noah gave her a look. “I’m not trying to be a jerk, Jolly. But can you see it from where Astrid is coming from?” 

“I understand,” I nodded. “It was wrong of me to ignore her the last few days. But I was afraid of not being enough for her; being what she needs.” 

“You’re projecting a feeling that doesn’t even exist,” Noah said.

I snorted. “The two of you see a shrink once a week and all of a sudden you have PHD’s.” 

“We’re just-,” Y/N began while leaning forward. 

I waved her off. “No, I know, I’m sorry. You’re right. The irony of all this. Here I thought I had it all figured out, when I tried pushing the two of you together and now here I am doing the opposite of what I thought.” 

“You’re only human, you know. And that’s okay if you might have not learned from your mistakes.”

“I know. I’m not usually the one that wallows in my mind. I’m the one that helps people out of these situations. So, thank you guys for being here; pulling my head out of my ass.” 

Y/N smiled while resting her head against Noah’s shoulder. “It’s what we’re here for, Jolly. Think of it as returning the favor.” 

Noah left a gentle kiss on top of her head before looking at me. “You should at least call Astrid. Let her know that you’ll explain everything to her, but you just need time because this way of thinking or feeling is new for you.” 

To lighten up the mood a smidge of guilt in her chest. “Calling the kettle black here, it doesn’t have to be complicated. You deserve happiness too Jolly, don’t- don’t do that. Call her.”

I sighed while leaning back in the chair. “What you two did, whatever you went through to get where you are, it’s different. I’m not sure if this, whatever it is, will work. It’s easier for you both because you understand this life, Y/N. I can’t expect Astrid to drop everything like that to come with us, or be with me like that. Fika is her life, she cant leave that behind.” 

“You don’t know that,” Y/N reassured me with a warm smile. 

Noah rubbed her back. “We can’t sit here and say anything that hasn’t already been said. But, if we can say one thing; communicate. Talk with Astrid and tell her the truth. You’ll never know if you don’t. You deserve happiness, just as much as anyone else and I think she really adores you. So just at least if anything, talk to her.”

“Just don’t take 6 months to say something,” Y/N added in with a chuckle. 

I snorted while rising to my feet, going about my room to gather my phone and wallet since we were about to head out to dinner.  “Your telenovela was enough for me. I’ll use my words.” 

“I’m shocked you even pronounced that word so well,” Y/N mocked. 

“Kiss my ass Joakim, we use words,” Noah nudged my shoulder when he stood. 

“Yeah, most of them start with don’t and end with stop,” I shot back with a smirk.

Y/N gasped while smacking the back of my head. “Okay now you’re being an ass for real.” 

“Don’t pry in my love life,” I playfully pushed her. 

“Oh, I see how it is, ” Noah chuckled. 

For the first time in a few days, I felt lighter in my steps and felt as if things would be alright with Astrid and I. Just as soon as I talked to her. Making a mental note to swing by Fika after dinner, I retreated down stairs to the living room where Nicholas and Folio were waiting for us; the five of us meeting the others for dinner. 

“Jolly,” Y/N grasped my wrist to stop me from following everyone outside. “Don’t let your worries ruin this because you deserve happiness too. You do.” 

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders in a hug, pressing a peck to the top of her head. “Thank you, Y/N. But who’s to say she’ll even want to talk to me after how I ignored her.” 

“Don’t start that. I know that kind of thinking all too well. Just go with the flow. Let it happen naturally. You’d be surprised to find out how Astrid feels about you,” she patted my cheek before running to catch up to Noah, jumping onto his back. 

ASTRID

No. 

No. 

No. No. No. 

Glass crunched underneath my boots as I walked farther into Fika, everything in disarray at my feet. Plants overturned with dirt spilled everywhere, glass from the front door shattered into hundreds of little pieces, coffee machines and the turbo ovens were destroyed. The safe in my office was broken into with $5000 missing; I planned on going to the bank tomorrow morning to make the deposit; like I did every Tuesday. 

But through all the destruction, there was only one thing that I was the most upset about. 

My grandfather's guitar. It was stolen. 

I continued to stare up at the guitar wall, four out of the seven guitars missing, and I swallowed the burning tears, refusing not to cry. 

When I got the call at about eleven this evening from the alarm company that yet again it was tripped at Fika, I thought nothing of it so I disarmed it from my phone and took my time getting here. So when I walked into a scene of pure chaos and destruction, immediately my heart sank to my stomach. Someone had broken into Fika by breaked the glass of the door and stepping through it. They trashed the entire place; cups and plates thrown against one of the walls and couches ripped apart by what I assumed was a knife. 

I had been in such a state of shock that I had yet to call the police to report it because as soon as I saw the missing guitar, I became in a catatonic state. The last few days had been incredibly rough with Jolly ignoring me so when I walked into this scene, it was the very last thing I could handle. 

I’d been plagued with the worry that I’d done something wrong to push Jolly away, even saying my thoughts to Y/N. But she tried to reassure me that he didn’t mean to do what he did and I should talk to him about it. 

But the thing was, I did try to talk to him. I continued to text him for days after he canceled our date but even though he never sent a message back, I received it loud and clear; although it didn’t stop me from continuously checking my phone and almost sending a few texts to him. 

The noise of glass crunching caused me to swirl around in defense, holding my breath. However when I saw those dark eyes staring at me with shock, the tears I’d been holding finally broke free. 

“Käraste.” 

I shook my head widely. “N-no.” 

Jolly took a tentative step farther inside, doing his best to step over the destruction at his feet. “What happened?” 

I scoffed and outstretched my hands. “What the fuck does it look like, Jolly? Someone broke in and vandalized the place.” 

“Are you alright?” He asked while reaching for me. 

“Oh, now you give a shit about me? Where the hell have you been the last five fucking days?” I sneered, taking a step away from him. 

“Kär-.” 

“Stop!” I snapped, pointing a finger at him with tears falling. “Stop fucking calling me that. You don’t get that right anymore.”

He scratched at the facial hair on his chin, it was thicker than the last time I saw him, but I tried my best not to fall into his embrace again with one look into his striking eyes. 

“I know. I owe you an explanation,” Jolly ran a hand through his long hair.

I wrapped the sweater tighter around me; his sweater. The one he gave me that night. 

“You don’t owe me anything, Jolly. You made it clear how you felt about me after fucking me.” 

His jaw ticked. “Don’t say it like that, Astrid.” 

“It’s clear that’s the only thing you wanted,” I shrugged. “So now that you got it, you can leave.” 

Turning my back on him, I went to work cleaning up the mess, but when gentle fingers wrapped around my elbow, I ripped myself from his grasp. 

“Don’t touch me,” I seethed with a choked breath. 

The depths of Jolly’s eyes faltered as he gazed over my broken appearance. Hair thrown up into a very messy bun, his gray sweater, bright green sweats that were my pajamas, and my black rain boots; literally rolling out of bed to come here. My tears were red and cheeks blotchy from crying. But I didn’t care how I looked in front of him because my livelihood was destroyed. 

Fika was destroyed. 

Jolly’s eyes glanced away from me up to the guitar wall behind me and I could see the air leave his chest. 

“You’re grandfather’s guitar,” he noted. 

“Yep,” I popped the ‘P’ while kicking a knocked over plant. “Whoever did this also took the bell above the door; the one my grandparents brought over from Sweden.” 

He looked over to the front door, the glass from the panes shattered so the cold air seeped inside, and let out a sigh when he noticed the missing bell above the door. Then when Jolly turned back to me, I quickly averted my gaze to the mess around me. 

“Astrid, please,” Jolly begged. “Let me explain.” 

I narrowed my eyes. “There’s nothing to explain, Jolly. I bore myself to you physically and emotionally that night. I felt betrayed by you!” 

“I didn’t-.” 

“I told you how afraid I was of being alone. You told me that you’d be here for me but you fucking left. You lied,” I blew out a shaky breath while running a hand through my hair. 

“I trusted you and you still hurt me.” 

Jolly went to reach for me again but I smacked his hands away, the sound of skin on skin echoing around us. 

“You need to leave; now,” I motioned to the broken door yet again. “I want nothing to do with you anymore.”

“Astrid-.” 

“GO!” I pushed his chest, tears streaming down my face. “There’s nothing else between us. We fucked and that’s it. You can leave and forget all about me.” 

Jolly grasped my hands on his chest, keeping me close to him. “I don’t want to.” 

“I don’t care, Jolly. How can I trust that you won’t do that again?” I slipped my hands out from his hold and hastily wiped away the tears. 

Even though he looked so inviting dressed in his sweater and sweatpants, I kept myself from not stepping into him and running my hands through the waves of his hair. 

“Please leave,” I sobbed. 

Jolly didn’t move. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, I pushed him again towards the door. “Fuck you! I trusted you.” 

Another push. 

“That’s all you wanted, right? Just sex?” 

Another push. 

“Well congrats. You got it and now you have no other obligation from me, so you can leave!” I cried with the final push out the open door. 

Not once did Jolly fight me, simply letting me get my anger out with my force against his chest. When he was finally back on the sidewalk outside, I slammed the door in his face, which did absolutely nothing since he could walke through the part of the door where the glass had been broken. But it was the sentiment before the slamming of it in his face. 

With my back to him, I ignored him calling after me with my nickname and disappeared into the back area of the cafe to wallow in my miseries before figuring out what the fuck I was going to do now. 

ASTRID

Humming a tune to myself, I tapped the sign to the newly fixed front door and tapped it for good luck. 

Closed for a private party. Will resume normal hours tomorrow. 

I stepped back inside of Fika and gave a small smile to the blonde man as he paused setting up tables to meet me halfway. 

“I really do appreciate you letting us use your place for this, Astrid.” 

I waved Matt off before stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. “Oh, don’t even worry about it. I’m glad I’m able to help out for this pop up event. You said it’s for a band you manage?” 

“Yep,” Matt said while adjusting his hat. “They recently released their third album and we wanted to promote it so we invited fans to this event to meet the band, buy some merch, and get a signed poster.” 

“That’s pretty fucking sweet,” I smiled. “Which reminds me, I had my manager Jessica put together a playlist for today. You said the band's name is Bad Omens?” 

He shifted on his feet while clearing his throat. “Yeah.” 

“Perfect, just let us know when you want us to play it and I’ll have it come through the speakers.” 

With a small wave, I missed the look that Matt shared with Bryan, who was also here helping set up, as I met Jessica behind the counter while she adjusted her new nametag to make sure it was perfectly straight. 

Jessica. Manager. 

After the break in a few weeks ago and realizing how much work I’d been putting on my shoulders, I decided that I needed help for the back of house things. With Jessica’s prior experience at management, she was perfect for the job. 

Jessica, Tori, Sean, and I spent a few days putting things back together and replacing what we could in Fika. And once news hit the city that someone had broken in, people donated items or showed up to help fix things that I couldn’t. I remember trying my best not to cry at the sincerity of the people from this small community. Fika opened a week after the break in and business had been insane since.

But when I received an email from Matt last week wondering if he could rent out Fika for a private event, I immediately agreed even though he was friends with Jolly. The money Matt offered to book out the entire cafe was exactly what I needed to build up the savings that were stolen from the safe. 

Jolly. 

I hadn't heard from or seen him since he stopped by that night of the break in and I knew I should have been fine with it since I told him to leave; to never speak to me again. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurting on the inside. 

Jessica, Sean, and Tori often wondered why he stopped showing up and not wanting to go into much detail about what happened between us, I kept my answer simple. 

“He’s busy with other things.”

Other guys tried to flirt when they came in, tried to get my number, but every time I declined and told them I wasn’t interested. Which was true. But another reason was because none of them were Jolly. He was all encompassing, always on my mind even when I forced myself to think of something else; anything else. 

My mind wandered to Jolly and the darkness of his eyes. The way his lips tasted or the way he sounded when I had my mouth wrapped around him. I found myself missing the way he smelled, the way he tasted, and the light that encompassed around him whenever he walked into Fika. My heart yearned to see his smile once more and my soul was desperate for the connection it missed. 

He fucked you then ignored you for five days. 

Yeah but-.

No buts. You told him how afraid you are of being alone and he did the exact same thing.

Deciding not to argue with my thoughts any longer, I forced a smile at Jessica. “How are things going?”

She nodded. “Good. Sean is in your office finishing up the playlist and Tori is helping Matt and Bryan set up.” 

“Perfect. The three of you can head out if you’d like. There’s no need for you guys to be here today.” 

Jessica’s eyes lit up and Tori popped up from the front of the counter. “Wait, really?” 

I chuckled at Tori. “Yeah. It’s a beautiful spring day outside. You guys should go enjoy the rest of your Saturday.” 

Tori and Jessica shared a look before they scurried to the back to gather their things, their giggles echoing far behind them. Shaking my head at them, I decided on running a fresh pot of coffee for Matt and everyone else who was here setting up for this event. Sean came bounding up to the front counter with a wild look in his eyes until they landed on me. 

“Jeez, where’s the fire?” I joked with a hand on my hip. 

“Astrid,” he took a few deep breaths. “I need to tell you something.” 

“Hey, Astrid?” 

Pointing a finger at Sean, I turned around and smiled at Bryan. “Do you guys need something?” 

He adjusted the camera that hung around his neck. “I was going to snap a few shots and wanted to make sure you were ok with it? Since it’s your place.” 

Immediately I nodded. “Definitely. You don’t even have to ask, Bryan. Although, any bad shots you get of me you delete right away.” 

“Deal,” he chuckled. “Is it alright if I get a shot of the guitar wall? The lighting from the sun casting over it looks sick.” 

I nodded again and watched as Bryan walked over to the wall, a stinging pain digging deep into my heart. Over the last few weeks I’d been able to replace all but one of the guitars that was stolen; my grandfathers. So there was still this empty spot still in the middle, like the empty spot in my heart that was left due to Jolly’s absence. 

“Astrid,” Sean urged. “I was looking into this band, Bad Omens. And you’re not going to believe what I found. They’re huge in the rock scene right now; super popular since they released their third album.” 

“Fuck, that reminds me. Can you go hit play on the music? I think they’re going to be here soon and want to make sure it’s perfect,” I said, turning my attention back to the coffee. 

“The members of the band, there’s four of them-,” Sean tried again. 

I tilted my head at him. “I didn’t realize there was going to be a pop quiz about them?” 

He ignored my sarcasm and ran a hand through his bright blonde hair. “The guitarist is-.” 

“Better late than never! Fuck, you do realize that this thing starts in like ten minutes? We have the fans lined up in the back parking lot,” Matt chastised the group of people that just walked through the door; I was still getting used to not hearing the bell go off every time the door opened.

“Look, Sean, you can tell me all about them later. But I have to get to work. Go enjoy the rest of your Saturday,” I tapped his shoulder, dismissing him. 

His eyes darted to the group gathering in the dining area and with a sigh, Sean nodded before retreating to the back. 

As the conversations were hushed over the music that began to play, I moved along to the lyrics, finding myself drowning under the hypnotizing spell of the voice from the vocalist of Bad Omens. I set up a row of paper cups and with the pot of fresh, hot coffee, I turned on my heels ready to offer everyone some but froze in place with what I saw. 

Noah. 

Nicholas. 

Folio. 

The three of them were gazing at how everything was set up, smiling with pride. But none of them had my attention, it was the man that stood directly on the other side of the counter in front of me. His long hair was pulled back in a tight bun, those dark eyes and sharp cheekbones on display. The faint nose ring caught the overhead light and I bit my lip at how gorgeous he looked. 

“Käraste.” 

I blinked, breaking free from Jolly’s spellbinding gaze and glanced over to where everyone else was watching us. Next to the table where Bad Omens would be sitting was a large banner behind them that had a picture of all four of them. My mouth ran dry as I continued to bounce my eyes back from Jolly to the large banner, my brain slow to catch up that he was part of this band, along with his friends. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I spat with furry. 

My grip around the pot of coffee slipped causing the burning liquid to spill on my hand before crashing to the ground. 

Glass shattered and I hissed out in plain while clutching my hand to my chest, quickly scurrying to the back in such a haste. Tears brimmed at my eyes for not only the pain but also seeing Jolly again, finding out that he was part of this band. A pretty popular one according to Sean yet I had never even heard of them. 

Had they all lied to me about who they were when I went to their party? 

Well, technically you never asked what any of them did.

Ripping open the freezer door with force it slammed against the wall, I rummaged around for an ice pack to apply to my hand.

“Astrid?” 

“No! No!” I spun on my heels to face Jolly and dropped the ice pack in the process. “I don’t want to see you.”

“You hurt yourself. Let me help you,” Jolly’s comforting voice carried in waves as he stepped farther into the back area of the cafe as I fell onto the stool that was in the break area. 

I wanted to cry so fucking bad because of the pain in my head, it red and angry because of the burn, but I refrained. I couldn’t.

“I don’t need your help, Jolly. Please. I’m still upset with everything and now finding out about-,” the words died on my tongue when my bottom lip trembled. 

“I know.” He bent down to pick up the ice back and a towel from the rack, wrapping it up. 

Slowly, almost afraid to push me farther off the edge, Jolly closed the distance between us. Then he reached for my hand, calloused fingers turning it over to inspect the burn. I was in too much pain to fight him and frankly, exhausted from arguing with him. 

I missed him. His presence. His aura. His smile. The way the room lit up when he stepped in it. The positive aspect he had on everything. 

But I was still upset with him. 

I hissed in agony when he gently pressed the ice pack to the burn but grumbled a thank you under my breath. Silence fell between us for a long moment and I kept my gaze straight past him at the door that blocked us from everyone up front. 

“I know you’re surprised, and unhappy to see me here today,” Jolly’s voice broke through the tension.

“Understatement of the fucking century,” I snorted while bouncing my knee up and down. 

He sighed while setting the ice pack down on the table next to me. When I realized he was looking around for something, I pointed to the rack of shelves behind him. “First aid kit is on the third shelf. Burn spray, ointment, and wrap should all be in there.” 

I was glued to his form as he closed the distance with two wide strides to do his long legs and I couldn’t stop the way my bottom lip caught between my teeth when I realized how perfect his shirt hugged the muscles in his back or the way his jeans fit the perfect curve of his ass. 

Focus, Astrid. You’re supposed to be pissed at him. 

Jolly set the first aid kit on the table and began rummaging through it to find what he needed to wrap up my burn. Once he applied the spay, his warm breath fanned over my skin and I shivered at the feeling. 

“Can I explain everything?” He asked as he began wrapping my hand, after applying the ointment.

I kept my gaze on my feet. “What’s there to say, Jolly? You were pretty clear when you ignored me.” 

“And that was a mistake.” 

I sniffled. “Ignoring me or having sex with me because it feels like the entire thing was a mistake.” 

Once my hand was wrapped, Jolly cupped my face so I had no choice but to look up at him. “No. Ignoring you was a mistake and I’m very sorry. When I had to cancel our date for work, I felt so guilty because I knew with my career that it won’t be the last time that happens.”

“Why did you?” I asked, meek and quiet. 

“Well as you see out there,” he threw his thumb in the direction back outfront. “I'm the guitarist in Bad Omens and with how often I’m gone on the road touring or doing media, I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” I held my injured hand closer to my chest in a way to protect myself from Jolly. 

I couldn’t allow myself to open up to him again if his intentions weren’t pure. 

He hesitated while holding his breath before letting it out and running a hand over the thick hair on his chin. “Well, these things-romance. They can be complicated for people like me. I didn’t want to start something and then have you find out I won’t always be around.”  

“Jolly, you could have just talked to me. I would have understood,” I said. 

The corner of his mouth lifted as he chuckled, his hands now grazing up and down my arms. “I know, you’re right. I should have. I’m sorry, I never meant to ignore you. It was wrong of me to do.” 

“If you talked to me about it, be honest with me, we could have figured out the logistics of us later on. You didn’t have to hide who you were from me. I would have still fallen for you just the same,” I admitted. 

It was true. 

Now knowing that he played guitar in one of Los Angeles’ most popular bands, I didn’t think differently about him. My heart still beat wideley in my chest as his dark ember eyes drank me in. 

Jolly brushed a few strands of hair away from my face, fingers lingering on the side of my neck. “I liked being Joakim for a little while, not Jolly from Bad Omens.” 

“You’re still Joakim to me.” 

He smiled then lifted my injured hand. “How does it feel?” 

“It’s better than what it was. Thank you,” I did my best to smile despite the pain. 

Moments before he dropped my hand back in my lap, he pressed featherlike kisses across the bandage and I sucked in a breath, his name falling from my lips.

“I hope you can forgive me, Astrid. That night was special, it was one of the best nights I’ve had in a very long time. Being with you has been a breath of fresh air that I didn’t know I was looking for.”  

“It was for me too,” I bit my lip. “ I-I forgive you.” 

“Really?” Jolly eyes snapped up from the ground, full of light and hope.

I wrapped my good arm around him while opening my legs so he could step between them as I was still sitting on the stool. Almost quickly, his hands clasped around the back of my neck. 

“I’m fine with figuring things out as we go, Jolly. But, please don’t hurt me like this again. Just talk to me,” I rested my chin on his chest to peer up at him through my lashes.

“I can do that. I swear I can,” he brushed his lips over my forehead in a kiss. “Thank you, käraste.” 

Stepping up to close the distance, I pressed my mouth to his and breathed in content as the feeling of finally being home crept deep into my blood. I missed him so much, more than I’d ever admit. Yes, he may have hurt me but he apologized and proved that he was willing to change. 

We’ve all made mistakes but our mistakes didn’t make us. 

Jolly’s tongue brushed along my bottom lip before meeting mine in a lazily fight for dominance, one I was quick to win; not that he was complaining. He hummed into the kiss and his large hands skidded underneath my shirt to set the skin of my back a blaze. 

“Astrid?” 

Swiftly pulling away from Jolly, I wiped my mouth before glancing over to Noah, who was resting against the wall next to the door with a smug smile. 

“I see the two of you made up.” 

Giggling, I buried my face into Jolly’s chest to breathe him in, his voice vibrating against my cheek. 

“Do you need something, Noah?” He asked. 

“I’m sorry to kill the mood but the police are here. They want to speak with Astrid.”

Jolly tilted his head down towards me. “The police?” 

I nodded with a sigh. “I filed a police report because of the break in. I wonder if they finally have some news for me.” 

With a kiss to my cheek, he let me jump off the stool and hooked his fingers with my good hand as we made our way back up front; not before Noah ruffled Jolly’s hair as we walked past. 

Two officers were excitedly chatting with Nicholas and Folio when I walked up but turned serious when they saw me. 

“Astrid Akerman?” The taller office asked. 

I nodded while still holding onto Jolly’s hand. “Yes?” 

The bald officer spoke next. “We just wanted to stop in to tell you we found the group of kids that broke in here a few weeks ago. Turns out they trashed a few other places around here the last couple of months. We were able to arrest them last night as they tried to break into the therapist office next door and we found the items you claimed were stolen.” 

My heart leaped into my throat. “Wait, does that mean you found my grandfather's guitar?” 

The taller office points to the table behind us where there lay my grandfather’s blue Teisco Del Rey ET-312. Choking on a sob, Jolly went about thanking the officers while I hastily reached for the guitar, afraid it would slip through my fingers. 

“Astrid,” Jolly’s fingers grazed over my lower back. “Do you want me to hang it back up?” 

With tears in my eyes, I nodded. “Please. It hasn’t felt like Fika without it.” 

Standing in between Noah and Nicholas, I grinned watching Jolly as he stood on a chair with Bryan’s help to hang the guitar back on the wall. Once he was back on his feet, he pulled me back into his arms and I swung on my feet with him. 

“Thank you,” I pressed a kiss to his chest. 

“Anything for you, käraste.” Jolly breathed me in. 

When I first took over Fika months ago, I had every intention of selling. That was until one of my regulars not only changed my mind but also changed the trajectory of my entire life. 

“Jeez, the crowd out there is insane!” 

Spinning in Jolly’s grasp, I beamed at Y/N as she stepped inside, the ends of her olive green sundress trailing at her feet. She took one look at Jolly and I before breaking out in a wide smile. 

“Well, this is a sight to see.” 

Rolling my eyes at her, I stepped up on the tips of my toes to leave a tender kiss on Jolly’s cheek. “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to get settled before opening the side door for your fans.” 

He gently patted my ass to dismiss me and I squealed before walking over to Y/N, hooking my arm through hers after she greeted Noah with a kiss. 

“Would you like some mochis?” I asked. 

Her eyes widened with a bright gleam. “Yes please.” 

[colindotpdx]

Oregon Elder Illegally Imprisoned By His Legal Guardian

For those at the back of the room, here is a quick recap of the story of my old buddy Maynard Orme.

In January a friend and I visited Maynard at his assisted living facility near Portland. We found him uncharacteristically miserable. His finances were in crisis despite having a conservator in charge and he told us that he had not been able to visit his daughter and grandkids for Christmas. He was very upset and not in good health. We checked that there was no legal restriction on his travel and arranged for his trip to California. We subsequently learned more about how badly his medical state and his finances had been managed by his conservator and caretaker; treatment that was abusive, neglectful, and manipulative of an 87 year old elder.

Once in California, he was happy as a clam with his family and his physical and mental state has improved dramatically. I’ve been to visit him regularly from January and, when I saw him a few days ago in Los Angeles, he was more spritely than I had seen him in months since his daughter has been looking after him. We asked him about his new residence and his new girlfriend and he said "I love it here. It doesn’t get any better than this"

But his guardian and former caretaker had other plans.

This week, the day after I saw him, they arrived at his residence with a court order and spirited him back to Oregon.

We don’t know what they told him, whether he agreed to go with them, or how they got back. They left behind his cell phone and his clothes and personal possessions; such was the haste in which he was removed. His attorney in Oregon was as surprised as anyone as he had not been informed of their plans and was not even informed when his client was back in Oregon.

But we do know where he was taken.

Maynard is now back at the assisted living facility in Charbonneau from which he escaped but, when friends show up to see him, he is “not taking visitors” on orders from his guardian and her lawyer. He was apparently interviewed by law enforcement upon his return for reasons that were not disclosed but he could not have been provided assistance of counsel.

His lawyer then tried to visit Maynard at his new residence but he too was denied entry. He was referred to the guardian and then her lawyer who gave orders to prevent him visiting his client.

Outrage Level Turned up to ELEVEN.

A US citizen is being jailed by a fiduciary professional and her lawyer. Even an arraigned murderer would not be denied assistance of counsel. In what world can one lawyer refuse to allow an opposing lawyer access to his client? This is insanity.

I bet there’s something in the US Constitution that covers this.

When the guardian and her lawyer are acting “in colour of law” by waving a court order, they are taking on the authority of the state; like carrying a badge or wearing a black jacket with FBI across the back. But, guess what, law enforcement would not get away with this bullshit.

Maynard is being denied his basic civil rights by a out-of-control guardian under guidance from a conflicted lawyer; the two of them are running amok.

The facility in which Maynard is now imprisoned and the caretaker that IS allowed to see him, have both demonstrated a track record of neglect and abuse - financial, mental, and medical. Neither his friends, family, or lawyer are now allowed to talk to him. We have no idea of how he is being treated, of what he is being told, or how he is being threatened.

This isolation is seriously compounding the abuse of this respected Portland elder for reasons that are hard to fathom.

How it Started: How it’s Going.

This whole adventure started with a pleasant lunch and an arranged flight for Maynard to see his family and enjoy their mutual love and caring in sunny Los Angeles. Joy was restored to Maynard's life.

It has now turned into an extra-judicial nightmare with an inconceivable level of fear and darkness for Maynard and his family who are beside themselves with worry. A crisis driven by fiduciary professionals in breach of their legal duties to protect Maynard, and whose firms have failed to rein them in.

Shame on all of them.

This is not over.

Photo: When Maynard retired, AARP did an article about him and took this picture of him at the Oregon Rail Heritage Center where he was a huge supporter and booster.

[prestige-fashion-world]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Susana Mercedes Couture Vintage 80’s Jacket 2.

[laresearchette]

Sunday, January 08, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: MAYFAIR WITCHES (AMC+/AMC Pilot Only - 9:00pm) ALERT: MISSING PERSONS (CTV) 8:00pm EAST NEW YORK (CTV) 9:00pm NCIS: LOS ANGELES (Global) 9:30pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT?: BOB’S BURGERS (FOX Feed) FAMILY GUY (FOX Feed) ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL (PBS Feed) MISS SCARLET AND THE DUKE (PBS Feed) VIENNA BLOOD (PBS Feed) MY SISTER'S SERIAL KILLER BOYFRIEND (TBD - Lifetime Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

DISNEY + STAR TOKYO REVENGERS (Season 2 premiere)

NFL FOOTBALL (TSN) 1:00pm: Ravens vs. Bengals (TSN/TSN3) 4:00pm: Cowboys vs. Commanders (TSN/TSN3) 8:15pm: Lions vs. Packers

NHL HOCKEY (SNPacific/TSN3) 3:00pm: Canucks vs. Jets (SN) 3:30pm: Panthers vs. Stars (SN1) 5:00pm: Blue Jackets vs. Capitals (TSN4) 7:00pm: Leafs vs. Flyers (SNWest) 7:00pm: Flames vs. Chicago (SN/SN1) 8:30pm: Bruins vs. Ducks

NBA BASKETBALL (TSN4/TSN5) 3:30pm: Trail Blazers vs. Raptors (SN Now) 7:00pm: Mavericks vs. Thunder (TSN5) 9:00pm: Hawks vs. Clippers

HEARTLAND (CBC) 7:00pm: Tim goes after the person responsible for Jack's accident; Lou struggles to reconnect with Katie; Amy agrees to let Logan take the lead with a new client...HORSE!

WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS WALLACE? (CNN) 7:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Chris Wallace is joined by filmmaker James Cameron and actor Hugh Jackman.

THE CASE AGAINST COSBY (CBC) 8:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Of the more than 60 women who accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault, only one was able to gain a conviction; this is her story.

SCENTED WITH LOVE (City TV) 8:00pm:  Rosalie returns home after training as a perfumer in Paris and tries to rent a store to sell her own perfume. The only space available is shared by the local furniture store, which is owned by the previously geeky-now handsome Jason.

DIRTY JOBS (Discovery Canada) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE):  Mike Rowe joins a second-generation pool fixer in West Palm Beach, Fla., and cleans dirtiest pool in America to clean 17 years of accumulated filth; in Orlando, Mike and a Soap Whisperer recycle dirty hotel soap in an effort to Clean the World.

IRREVERENT (Showcase) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): An American criminal on the run from the Chicago mob loses all of his money and is forced to hide out in an Australian beach town, posing as their new reverend and becoming dangerously involved with the locals.

SEWER DIVERS (Discovery Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): In North Jersey, N.J., Dirty Water Don dives into a toxic sewer line; In Mt. Vernon, Va., Ramone and George try to fix a sewage-filled basement; In Cleveland, Josh tries to break down a rock-solid formation before it leads to catastrophic flooding.

CHEF DYNASTY: HOUSE OF FANG (Food Network Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Chef Kathy Fang plans to use a modernized menu to take her San Francisco-based restaurant to new heights; she hosts a dinner for influencers, as well as her father, business partner and toughest critic Peter Fang, to put her new ideas to the test.

A ONCE AND FUTURE PEACE (documentary) 9:00pm:  Based on Indigenous peacemaking circles, a restorative justice approach brings healing to families and communities.

THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND (History Canada) 10:00pm: The team returns to the swamp and immediately uncovers more evidence of a sunken ship; in the money pit, the discovery of a collapsed structure could mean they have finally located the off-set chamber.

TUT'S TOXIC TOMB (Nat Geo Canada) 10:00pm:  Paleoanthropologist Ella Al-Shamahi explores the gripping science behind an astonishing Egyptian legend as she investigates whether toxins inside Tutankhamun's tomb and among the pharaoh's treasures could explain a number of mysterious deaths.

END OF THE ROPE (Discovery Canada) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): The Extreme Heights Repair Team heads to California to place 13 targets on the Bullards Dam in just three days; they install bird sensors on a wind turbine.

[fur-claws-and-eyeballs]

2021 Teen Wolf ReWatch - S1E1

My Take from the episode Including: Info-Dump, and Questions & Concerns

Info-Dump:

Wolf Moon: the Wolf Moon is the Full Moon in January and is said to be named for the wolves that would howl outside of the village as a result of mid-winter food scarcity. The first episode centers around the first day/week back to school in Spring Semester of 2011 (January). Fun Fact: In this episode the full Moon occurs on Friday...the actual 2011 Wolf Moon occurred on Wednesday, January 19th.

Beacon Hills Preserve: No Entry After Dark: (Preserve - to keep safe from injury, harm, or destruction.) Similar to state parks in that they protect natural landscapes, but the emphasis is more on plants and animals, or specific geological features. They generally have fewer facilities and less development than state parks. Nature preserves can be operated by federal/state/local governments, private trusts, or even funded through public donations. Private nature preserves also exist, with land excluded from private land trusts and maintained at the sole cost of the proprietor. Fun Fact: I checked, and it’s not, but that font really does look like the Jurassic Park font, and honestly...equally filled with tragedy and dumb decisions. 

Beacon Hills High School est. 1941

Wolves in the West Coast/California: “The last wild wolf was documented in California in 1924, when it was shot in Lassen County. The last breeding wolves in Washington were eliminated in the 1930s, and in Oregon the last wolf was killed for a bounty in 1947. Today the West Coast is a region crucial to wolf recovery.”

“Kafka’s Metamorphosis”: Written on the whiteboard by the English teacher. “The Metamorphosis tells the story of salesman Gregor Samsa, who wakes one morning to find himself inexplicably transformed into a huge insect (ungeheures Ungeziefer, literally "monstrous vermin") and subsequently struggles to adjust to this new condition.”

Lacrosse: BHHS won the State Championship for the past three years.

Inquiry-It: The Google-like website that Stiles uses to look up werewolves. If you watch closely, his research montage is cyclical. When he first enters “Lycaon” Stiles is already in the search results for “Silver Bullet”. So his search terms in order are: “Silver Bullet, Lycoan, Wolfsbane, Silver Bullet.”

Lycaon (of Arcadia): “was a king of Arcadia who, in the most popular version of the myth, tested Zeus' omniscience by serving him the roasted flesh of Lycaon's own son Nyctimus, in order to see whether Zeus was truly all-knowing. In return for these gruesome deeds, Zeus transformed Lycaon into a wolf and killed his offspring; Nyctimus was restored to life.”

History of Lycanthropy (Book): “The change can be caused by anger or anything that raises your pulse.”

Stile’s Jeep: California Plate QGM387

Questions & Concerns: 

Why did Stiles climb on the roof? Is he just being a dramatic bitch? I don’t even think Melissa is home for him to be sneaking around, because surely the both of them screaming like girls would have alerted her right?

How did Stiles even get on the roof? How is he hanging upside down from it? How did he not break his neck jumping down???

Does the Sheriff have a landline? Does that mean then, that Stiles has access to another phone in the house through which he can listen to the call? And the Sheriff expects him NOT to listen in?

Uh-oh fandom, it’s Scott in the woods with the red hoodie. 

Did...Did cellphones not have flashlights yet in 2011??? Surely we had the app for that by then? (Christ, I graduated High School in 2011, kill me)

Scott absolutely should have lost his phone in the fall he takes when he spots Laura...

I’m not saying that Victoria Argent nearly creamed Scott before he even turned...I’m just saying he was nearly hit by a red SUV that didn’t pull over to help him, and at the end of the episode, Chris Argent is driving a red SUV...just saying...

I wonder if the Argents were in San Francisco for any particular reason? (and for longer than they normally stay in one place, by Allison’s account.)

Note: Stiles already knows that the Full Moon is on Friday even though he has yet to do any research on werewolves. I wonder if he keeps up with the moon phases due to the common believe amongst law enforcement/emergency responders/ER staff that people act out more on full moons?

How much of Scott and Stiles’ conversation did Derek overhear? I mean by all accounts he absolutely could have heard the discussion of enhanced senses and infections. Did he immediately suspect or know that Scott had been bitten at this point? And did he just happen upon Scott’s inhaler or did he look for it?

YOU CANNOT JUST SAY “YEAH IVE SEEN A GUY SPLINT A COUPLE OF BONES, I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS AND PRESCRIBE DRUGS WITHOUT XRAYS OR ANY HELP WHATSOEVER” SCOTT, SCOTT PLEASE, THIS DOG NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP.

Stiles says that the “fiber analysis came back from the lab in LA” Its at least been generally agreed that Beacon Hills is near-ish to San Francisco? Of course the show started out being filmed in Atlanta Georgia before moving to...Los Angeles, California. I don’t really know where I’m going with this...

Someone please god tell Stiles that a Jacket/Button-up/Tie is not proper house party attire. Save my poor socially graceless son.

ALLISON IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THE STRANGE MAN SAYS HE’S FRIENDS WITH THE BOY YOU MET 3 DAYS AGO, YOU DO NOT GET INTO STRANGER’S CARS.

Christ on a Cracker Chris Argent is a DILF. 

Chris says “Take him” which I take to mean “capture”? Like as in, not kill on sight? Was he going to attempt to determine if Scott was actually responsible before killing him?

Did Stiles drive around all night looking for Scott? It’s daylight, so surely if Scott had his phone to call him he would have been there sooner. (He hasn’t even loosened that damn tie.)

Also does Chris recognize Scott at the end of the episode??? Or is that just normal dad-mode leering? 

[1962dude420-blog]

Today we remember the passing of Peter Fonda who Died: August 16, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.

Peter Henry Fonda (February 23, 1940 – August 16, 2019) was an American actor, director, and screenwriter. He was the son of Henry Fonda, younger brother of Jane Fonda, and father of Bridget Fonda. He was a part of the counterculture of the 1960s. Fonda was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Easy Rider (1969), and the Academy Award for Best Actor for Ulee's Gold (1997). For the latter, he won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama. Fonda also won the Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor – Series, Miniseries or Television Film for The Passion of Ayn Rand (1999).

Fonda was born on February 23, 1940, in New York City, the only son of actor Henry Fonda (1905–1982) and his wife Frances Ford Seymour (1908–1950); his older sister was actress Jane Fonda (born 1937). He and Jane had a half-sister, Frances de Villers Brokaw (1931–2008), from their mother's first marriage. Their mother committed suicide in a mental hospital when Peter, her youngest, was ten. He did not discover the circumstances or location of her death until he was 15 years old.

On his eleventh birthday, he accidentally shot himself in the abdomen and nearly died. He went to the Indian hill station of Nainital and stayed for a few months for recovery. Years later, he referred to this incident while with John Lennon and George Harrison while taking LSD. He said, "I know what it's like to be dead." This inspired The Beatles' song "She Said She Said".

Peter attended the Fay School in Southborough, Massachusetts, and was a member of the class of 1954. He then matriculated to Westminster School, a Connecticut boarding school in Simsbury, where he graduated in 1958.

Once he graduated, Fonda studied acting in Omaha, Nebraska, his father's home town. While attending the University of Nebraska-Omaha, Fonda joined the Omaha Community Playhouse, having been recruited by Marlon Brando's mother.

By the mid-1960s, Fonda was not a conventional "leading man" in Hollywood. As Playboy magazine reported, Fonda had established a "solid reputation as a dropout". He had become outwardly nonconformist and grew his hair long and took LSD regularly, alienating the "establishment" film industry. Desirable acting work became scarce. Through his friendships with members of the band The Byrds, Fonda visited The Beatles in their rented house in Benedict Canyon in Los Angeles in August 1965. While John Lennon, Ringo Starr, George Harrison, and Fonda were under the influence of LSD, Lennon heard Fonda say, "I know what it's like to be dead." Lennon used the phrase in the lyrics for his song, "She Said She Said", which was included on their 1966 album, Revolver.

In 1966, Fonda was arrested in the Sunset Strip riot, which the police ended forcefully. The band Buffalo Springfield protested the department's handling of the incident in their song "For What It's Worth". Fonda sang some and in 1967 recorded "November Night", a 45-rpm single written by Gram Parsons for the Chisa label, backed with "Catch the Wind" by Donovan, produced by Hugh Masekela.

Fonda's first counterculture-oriented film role was as a biker in Roger Corman's B movie The Wild Angels (1966). Fonda originally was to support George Chakiris, but graduated to the lead when Chakiris revealed he could not ride a motorcycle. In the film, Fonda delivered a "eulogy" at a fallen Angel's funeral service. This was sampled by Psychic TV on their 1988 LP recording Jack the TAB. It was later sampled in the Primal Scream recording "Loaded" (1991), and in other rock songs. The movie was a big hit at the box office, screened at the Venice Film Festival, launched the biker movie genre, and established Peter Fonda as a movie name. Fonda made a television pilot, High Noon: The Clock Strikes Noon Again, filmed in December 1965. It was based on the film High Noon (1952), starring Gary Cooper, with Fonda in the Cooper role. However, it did not become a series.

Fonda next played the male lead in Corman's film The Trip (1967), a take on the experience and "consequences" of consuming LSD, which was written by Jack Nicholson. His co stars included Susan Strasberg, Bruce Dern and Dennis Hopper. The movie was a hit. Fonda then traveled to France to appear in the portmanteau horror movie Spirits of the Dead (1968). His segment co-starred his sister Jane and was directed by her then-husband Roger Vadim. For American television, he appeared in a movie, Certain Honorable Men (1968), alongside Van Heflin, written by Rod Serling.

Fonda produced, co-wrote and starred in Easy Rider (1969), directed by Dennis Hopper. Easy Rider is about two long-haired bikers traveling through the southwestern and southern United States where they encounter intolerance and violence. Fonda played "Wyatt", a charismatic, laconic man whose motorcycle jacket bore a large American flag across the back. Dennis Hopper played the garrulous "Billy". Jack Nicholson played George Hanson, an alcoholic civil rights lawyer who rides along with them. Fonda co-wrote the screenplay with Terry Southern and Hopper.

Fonda tried to secure financing from Roger Corman and American International Pictures (AIP), with whom he had made The Wild Angels and The Trip, but they were reluctant to finance a film directed by Hopper. They succeeded getting money from Columbia Pictures. Hopper filmed the cross-country road trip depicted almost entirely on location. Fonda had secured funding of around $360,000, largely based on the fact he knew that it was the budget Roger Corman needed to make The Wild Angels. The guitarist and composer Robbie Robertson, of The Band, was so moved by an advance screening that he approached Fonda and tried to convince him to let him write a complete score, even though the film was nearly due for wide release. Fonda declined the offer, instead using Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild", Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" sung by The Byrds' Roger McGuinn, and Robertson's own composition "The Weight", performed by The Band, among many other tracks.

The film was released to international success. Jack Nicholson was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Fonda, Hopper and Southern were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. The film grossed over $40 million.

After the success of Easy Rider, both Hopper and Fonda were sought for film projects. Hopper directed the film The Last Movie (1971), in which Fonda co-starred along with singer Michelle Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas. Fonda directed and starred in the Western film The Hired Hand (1971). He took the lead role in a cast that also featured Warren Oates, Verna Bloom and Beat Generation poet Michael McClure. The film received mixed reviews and failed commercially upon its initial release, but many years later, in 2001, a fully restored version was shown at various film festivals and was re-released by the Sundance Channel on DVD that same year in two separate editions. Fonda later directed the science fiction film Idaho Transfer (1973). He did not appear in the film, and the film received mixed reviews upon its limited release. Around the same time, he co-starred with Lindsay Wagner in Two People (also 1973) for director Robert Wise, in which he portrayed a Vietnam War deserter.

Fonda starred alongside Susan George in the film Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry (1974), a film about two NASCAR hopefuls who execute a supermarket heist to finance their jump into big-time auto racing. The film was a box-office hit that year. It led to Fonda making a series of action movies: Open Season (1974), with William Holden; Race with the Devil (1975), fleeing devil worshippers with Warren Oates; 92 in the Shade (1975), again with Oates, for writer-director Thomas McGuane; Killer Force (1976) for director Val Guest; Futureworld (1976), a sequel to Westworld (1973), financed by AIP; Fighting Mad (1976), a reuniting with Roger Corman, directed by Jonathan Demme.

Outlaw Blues (1977) was a drama, with Fonda playing a musician opposite Susan Saint James. After some more action with High-Ballin' (1978), Fonda returned to directing, with the controversial drama Wanda Nevada (1979), wherein the 39-year-old Fonda starred as the "love" interest of the then 13-year-old Brooke Shields. His father, Henry Fonda, made a brief appearance as well, and it is the only film in which they performed together.

His final portrayal was in the Vietnam War movie The Last Full Measure. The director of that film, Todd Robinson, has recounted that Peter Fonda was able to view that film in its entirety, and got emotional upon viewing it.

Fonda died from respiratory failure caused by lung cancer at his home in Los Angeles on August 16, 2019, at the age of 79.

Following Fonda's death, his sister Jane Fonda made the following statement: "I am very sad. He was my sweet-hearted baby brother. The talker of the family. I have had beautiful alone time with him these last days. He went out laughing."

[buffyversefanfiction]

Twisted Tristan

Chapter 3 - Our City (Volume 3)

Warnings: I do not own or claim to own the original content to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “Angel”, the comics or any of the original characters from the “Buffyverse” all rights belong to Joss Whedon.

15 plus, displays of Violence, Gore, Torture, M/M, F/M, F/F.

Drusilla and Darla found themselves walking down a dark alleyway in Los Angeles laughing sinisterly amongst themselves when they suddenly came across a baby boy wrapped in a jacket, Willow’s jacket to be precious and the baby in question was none other than a much younger Tristan, Buffy’s biological son.

“And here was me thinking about having a little something to eat.” Darla said to Drusilla while ascending her vampire face.

“No mummy this child is far too precious to be wasted as a snack.” Drusilla told her off before lifting the quiet baby child before showing the boy her vamp face which amused him as he smiled at her much to Drusilla’s delight.

“Drusilla the last thing we need right now is for you start getting sentimental about killing babies.” Darla snapped at Drusilla who began rocking the baby back and forth.

“I see a great darkness set to descend within this child a bitterness that will only ripen with age and an incredible amount of chaos he’ll inflict on this world.” Drusilla replied joyfully while dancing with the baby boy in her arms.

“Drusilla, I don’t have time for these games ever since Angelus set us alight last week you’ve been acting even more like you than normal.” Darla moaned as her face returned to its normal state.

“Mummy don’t be mad this baby will be the answers to all your prayers one day,” Drusilla revealed to her while continuing to keep her eyes on the baby with pure adoration. “This little child will be the cause of Buffy’s downfall once and for all finally the preppy little cheerleader will get what’s coming to her.”

“You get all that from holding a child?” Darla asked her. “How can you be so sure?”

“I see a future where this child is fully grown a future where he will inflict immense pain onto others especially little miss Buffy, and I will have great joy in seeing it unfold.” Drusilla promised her vampire grandmother/granddaughter.

“Hm, I still say we eat the little rat just in case what your saying is just another of your episodes.” Darla replied. “Besides I’m really hungry.”

“Buffy sunk her pretty little manicured nails into my father Angelus taking him away from you and then she came for my darling Spike,” Drusilla moaned as her face returned to normal while she continued to cuddle into the child. “It’s no fair that she still lives but if we spare this baby she won’t be living for much longer.”

“So, you’re seriously telling me that if we spare this little rodent than we ourselves will be having a hand in that perky bitch’s demise?” Darla asked her interest in the child being more than just a snack rising. “Well I’m not bloody raising the thing vampires were not made to be mothers and quite frankly I can’t think of a ghastlier task.”

“All we have to do mummy is deliver him to the right destination and then just wait as he grows to be the man who destroys Buffy’s entire world.” Drusilla made herself clear.

Tristan and Dante stood behind the counter of their somewhat restored demonic dive bar with new demonic, monstrous and vampiric clientele filling their pub as the two lovers made out passionately while groping each other as a vampire bartender walked around the bar handing out drinks and weapons to the customers making it clear these two were getting ready for a big battle in their own way.

Dante feared this fight would be his and his lover’s last, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying to get the love of his life what he wanted. They often say that without a soul a vampire can’t love but that’s never been true.

A soulless Drusilla and a soulless Spike were in love for centuries until a still soulless at the time Spike fell in love with Buffy, a soulless Darla was besotted with Angelus for centuries even somewhat loving Angel in her own way and a soulless loved Dante with every inch of his un-beating a heart and if that meant dying to give him what he wanted then he was ready for it.

Tristan was a truly twisted violent man who cared for very few but Dante was his other half, Dante not only understood the darkness residing within him but he loved it and because of that Tristan truly loved him but there was something Tristan loved even more than his vampire boyfriend and that was the fight.

Faith pulled out a rucksack from underneath her bed opening it to reveal a bag full of weapons while she stood in her motel room with Angel and Illyria as Faith pulled out her infamous knife from season three of Buffy looking the blade up and down with a sense of nostalgia and euphoria that you’d easily be fooled into believing that blade was first Faith’s first love.

“Do you need some time alone?” Angel asked her before the three of them were shocked by the glass on the window of the motel room exploded into pieces onto the ground as the curtains fell to the ground forcing Illyria to rush over to Angel and push him into a corner of the room which was shadowed from the glaring sunlight now coming into the room.

“Your more than welcome.” Illyria said to Angel while Faith walked over to the shattered window to see a vampire standing outside her room in thick black robes protecting him from bursting into flames because of the sunlight.

“My masters have told me to inform you of their disappointment for you Faith Lehane they expected far better things from you and yet you align yourself with the treacherous vampire and a former goddess.” The vampire informed her instantly igniting Illyria’s fury.

“There’s nothing former about me you blood sucker,” Illyria snapped at the vampire. “I have no trouble in showing you that.”

“My masters want you to return to the place where all this started tonight.” The vampire continued to tell Faith while ignoring an infuriated Illyria before he began to remove his robes and by doing so his body caught on fire the flames quickly beginning to burn his body. “Dante will drink from the bloody of the redeemed rogue slayer while Tristan will burn this city to the ground.”

Faith, Illyria and Angel watched as the vampire’s body which was on fire quickly turned to nothing but dust.

“I guess the dramatic flare clearly runs in the family,” Angel scoffed. “My evil self-taught Dante more tricks then I realized.”

“Ugh, why do vampires go out of their way to be more dramatic than humans,” Illyria moaned while rolling her eyes. “This world was so much easier to enjoy when humankind was enslaved, and blood suckers were kept as pets.”

Dante and Tristan sat alone in their bedroom on the edge of their bed above their demonic dive bar the curtains were closed due to the fading daylight which would set Dante on fire but what you could see of the window you could tell the sun was setting and the battle was drawing nearer.

“I know our plan is to wipe all slayers and obviously Faith’s one of those said slayers, but I can’t help this feeling inside that is yelling at me that this isn’t going to end well for either of us.” Dante admitted his fears to Tristan. “If we run now Drusilla herself wouldn’t even blame us, they have a freaking goddess on their side.”

“Dante my darling we have fought for years to get to where we are now, we can’t just give up and let these people take it from us.” Tristan replied as he stood up from the bed. “After everything I’ve been through everything, we’ve been through I refuse to just run from the storm I am going to embrace it with or without you by my side.”

“I will ride out any storm with you my love you know I’ll never leave your side.” Dante said as he stood up from the bed to face his lover trying to reassure him of his loyalty. “I want nothing more than for you to get the revenge that you deserve but not if it means you killing yourself in the process.”

“You know I love you Dante I’ve loved you from the first moment met.” Tristan admitted to the undead love of his life. “You found me when I was lost in darkness with no-one by my side and you taught me how to master that darkness but as much as I love you, I can’t walk away from this. This is everything I’ve lived for everything I stayed alive for and I won’t stop fighting until my last breath is taken from me.”

“I will stand by your side even if it means it will lead to our deaths and then I will stand by your side in the flames of hell.” Dante promised him before kissing his love one last time before they got ready for the fight of their lives.

Faith, Angel and Illyria were stood in the alleyway outside of Tristan and Dante’s demonic dive bar ready to deal with their New York problem right there and then.

“You guys can take whoever you want but I want Tristan.” Faith told them as they noticed large groups of vampires, demons and creatures appearing from out of the bar, out of the shadows and around the corners.

“I am very displeased with these opponents they have chosen for this fight it’s going to be far too easy to the point where this battle could bore me.” Illyria informed her teammates as Dante and Tristan walked out of their demonic dive bar ready to fight. “So, to accept your request Faith I can only agree to leaving them till last and if you’re not done by then I’ll simply finish them all.”

“Okay ladies let’s stop discussing our kills and actually get to the killing.” Angel told them before the trio charged towards the army of evil that was determined to kill them all.

Illyria wasted no time in taking down vampire after vampire by ripping their heads of before going for the demons and ripping their hearts out with such ease as Angel launched himself towards his foes that proved a little harder for him but in fairness Illyria was an all powerful goddess so in any other fight Angel’s strength would be considered rather impressive and still was holding his own with the goddess herself.

Meanwhile Faith wasted no time in charging towards Tristan beginning a fight between the two of them that they both had been waiting for since their first meeting. Tristan managed to hold his own against the reformed slayer for quite some time, but it was clear she was gaining the upper hand before beating him to the ground leaving the twisted man with little fight left.

Dante noticed from afar that his loved one was in fatal danger at Faith’s hands and charged towards the slayer only to be stopped in his tracks by Illyria who grabbed the vampire by his head at the same time Tristan had sucker kicked Faith to the ground and jump back on his feet just in time to see Illyria ripped Dante’s head from his shoulders turning Tristan’s vampire lover to dust.

“No!” Tristan screamed completely devastated by what he just saw causing the war in front of him to instantly stop as he ran over to the remains of his loved one and fell to his knees holding the ashes of Dante in his hands while he began to sob uncontrollably. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this you were never supposed to leave me.”

Angel continued to finish off the remaining of Tristan and Dante’s evil army while both Illyria and Faith stood still while watching Tristan continue to sob into the ashes of his fallen lost one and in that moment Faith realized this man no matter how twisted was in fact just a man a heartbroken man to be exact.

Following their battle against Tristan his vampire lover Dante and their army of minions Faith, Angel and Illyria were victorious Dante was dead and Tristan was defeated but Faith couldn’t help but feel sorry for the young raven-haired man.

She found herself reluctantly forming a strange bond with him from the start and she knew how much Tristan loved Dante which made her feel guilty for being part of taking him away from Tristan.

Things were far simpler for Faith Lehane when she just killed without caring and never had to answer to anyone but at the same time she had something now that she never had before friends which helped her come back from the darkness the same darkness she was determined to pull Tristan out of knowing he was human and believing like her he could be redeemed.

Faith, Illyria and Angel kept Tristan hostage in Faith’s motel room until Rupert Giles arrived at the motel with several female slayers who took Tristan from Faith’s room and into the back of the truck before chaining him up and sitting down with him before closing the doors as Faith, Illyria, Angel and Giles stood in the motel parking lot next to the truck in which had just become a high security prison for Tristan.

“I’ve got to admit when I saw a truck I got immediate flashbacks to the watchers council G but I suppose having slayers on side to handle slayers it’s a bit of a step forward even if you are still following some of the council’s rules I’m glad your making it your own because quite frankly most of that council were asses with too much power.” Faith admitted to Giles. “If anyone can handle us girls the right way it’s going to be you.”

“Thanks Faith it really means a lot that you of all people agree with what I’m doing because no slayer should or will ever be treated the same way you and Buffy were treated by the council.” Giles promised not yet noticing the irony of those words.

“So, what exactly happens with Tristan now?” Angel asked, clearly nowhere near as trustful of Giles as Faith was. “I mean how do you redeem someone slayer style when they’re not even a slayer?”

“Well I like to believe that anyone can be redeemed as long as their willing to seek out redemption and if not when then precautions are in place a prison of sorts you could say for unreformed slayers.” Giles admitted quickly losing Faith’s trust in the process with Faith not exactly being too much of a fan of prison following her stint in the place.

“This mere mortal is not a slayer why are we treating him like one?” Illyria asked Angel, Faith and Giles. “If you ask me you should’ve let me eliminate him straight after I eliminated his lover.”

“I’m well aware that Tristan is not a slayer yet somehow he requires many of the training and slayer like strength strong enough to take down several slayers in fact.” Giles reported to Illyria. “His origins will probably reveal how he is the way he is, but he is still human, and every human has a soul which means he has a chance of being redeemed.”

“Redemption is a lot harder than it sounds,” Faith admitted before going on to say. “I’ll need to check out this rehabilitation center of yours sometime G and not as a patient before anyone gets any ideas.”

“You’re more than welcome anytime.” Giles told her with a sincere smile on his face.

Angel and Faith remained standing in the motel parking lot long after Giles drove off with his slayer bodyguards and the twisted Tristan and long after Illyria made her own way out of New York City in search of her next battle.

“This was some seriously good nostalgia for the good old days when you and I were a team.” Angel admitted to Faith.

“You, Illyria and I do make quite the trio I’ve got to admit but what’s the latest on Fred is she still in there because I couldn’t help but notice she never made an appearance the whole time Illyria was here.” Faith wondered, worrying about her Fred’s fate.

“Don’t worry Fred’s still in there they’ve kind of come to terms with the whole-body sharing dilemma and it seems to be working out quite well for them both.” Angel explained to Faith about Fred and Illyria sharing the same body.

“Yeah I’m sorry but that whole situation is never not going to be weird.” Faith admitted with an awkward laugh. “I do miss you too big guy.”

“I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what your about to go and do Faith.” Angel told her with a sincere smile. “You’re going to check out this rehabilitation thing Giles has going and check up on your little frenemy Tristan.”

“Here the kid clearly has some issues but if he can be the upset for Dante’s death, he must’ve loved him which means he feels something other than just his murderous tendencies.” Faith said in defense of the slayer killing man.

“It’s not often you like anyone this little psychopath must be pretty special to break Faith Lehane’s armor.” Angel teased her before sincerely admitting. “With you on his side I’m sure his soul will be saved in no time.”

“Don’t be calling me a hero or nothing I’m not exactly the saving type.” Faith replied, attempting to brush off Angel’s compliments towards her.

“You saved me from myself when everyone turned against me for my actions as Twilight.” Angel admitted to the redeemed slayer. “Not to mention the time when you literally almost killed yourself in order to take down Angelus without killing me.”

“Yeah well you saved me first I was just returning the favour.” Faith scoffed before Angel kissed her much to her surprise.

Faith looked at Angel for a moment as she looked at him the two realizing in that moment the feelings that had grown between them over the years all leading to this very moment as they gave into their emotions and began passionately kissing within the motel parking lot.

[kgstoryteller]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE “Kindness / The Murmuration of Starlings”, by Rachel Kann

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Philo of Alexandria

Have you heard of murmuration?

Listen, it’s breathtaking. Google it…but, like…later. it’s basically bird-flocking quantified to the awesometh power.It’s starlings—communing through flying and swirling—like one transcendent entity.They move in a fluid choreographic flux on the constant edge of next shift, next shift, next shift, and each of these shifts is called a critical transition,a murmuration of thousands of starlings, tuned into each other’s movement through the phenomenon of scale-free correlation, following neighboring velocities, each bird affecting the next seven birds nearest to them, and then the next seven and the next seven.Look, even Charles Darwin said survival of the fittest was a misapprehension of his findings, even he believed in the holistic, was awed by the elaborate and elegant interdependence of nature.From abiogenesis all the way to present-day, from subatomic particles to the entire biosphere, it’s emergence that encourages evolution. Kill or be killed is a lie of the mind. An outdated paradigm. A flak jacket that can’t keep out light.Let us take flight toward our final destination of wild and untamable kindness.The voyage is long and travels forward and backward in time. It’s a bumpy ride, but the upshot is, we can’t not try.I’m talking directly to the tiny little you who lives inside of you, reminding you of all the truth you once knew you knew, implicitly, returning you to your previous innocence, restoring your clarity, because kindness is your true nature, and I promise, anything beyond that has been inculcated.Truthfully, separation itself is an illusion double-brewed in the hateful culture-stew of roiling cruelty we have all been cooking in.And despite the desire to stay in denial, it’s bubbling up to the surface.What I’m saying is, there’s way more work for us to do.Don’t get lulled into complacency by that fact that you feel compassion. Kindness is action.Not just that, as a matter of fact, kindness is actually a radical act in this hardscrabble and roughshod crapshoot sneak-attack of a life spilling with inner demons and double-dealings.Kindness transcends mere feelings, it digs in the dirt, is braver than hurled insults, is rebellious enough to be vulnerable, is vulnerable enough to rebel, is confident enough to be patient, calls forth the great recalibration, an attunement to the taste of sweetness that starts within.If you’re currently in life’s trenches, please get this: kindness is your weapon, your best defense, your greatest defiance. This ain’t rocket science. I don’t care what your tribe is.The surprise is that kindness does not equal weakness.Actually, it’s meanness that requires an Achilles’ heel to sting.Do not be deceived, meanness preys on your insecurity, offers false surety, walls off and masks, distracts from the little voice inside that’s calling for acknowledgement, is needful of healing.All of this neglect and emotional starvation based on pattern repetition so ancient, it’s tread raw and bloody crop circles upon your throbbing heart.Behind every protective wall of defensiveness is a frightened child fearing for their very life.Do not withhold the kindness that is longing to flow through you.Give it away. Now.Be courageous enough to topple your facades, repurpose them as bridges, span the divisions.Once you’ve been on the brink, stared into the abyss, no matter the flavor of your personal chasm of darkness, kindness becomes your soul’s own prerequisite.Once you’ve been to the bottom, you can recognize salvation in simplicity, the merciful intoxication from the swoon-perfume of orange blossoms.The awe possible from a sky ablaze with the murmuration of starlings.The heartrending generosity of unguarded eye contact.This injurious journey is filled with hair-triggered- human-ticking-trauma-bombs, who only want love in a way they can understand it, waiting for someone to say show me where it hurts and give them the chance to answer.Do not withhold the kindness that is longing to flow through you.In this very moment, you could choose to say yes,You could remember gentleness, even toward you, even though you like it rough, even though life’s made you tough,You could choose to stop all the naysaying. Who are you to discourage anyone, yourself very much included?You could choose to be grace. You could choose the alchemy that awaits your bravery, spin your entire existence into endless golden thread.In this very moment, you could choose to say yes, you could put your hand on your chest— on your heart, on your throat, on your cheek, you could let that little voice within you speak, and this time, you could listen, give yourself the gift of presence,In this very moment, you could choose to say yes, let this newfound gift of presence warm like caramel taffy in your hands, let it expand wider to encompass the person in front of you, behind you, to each side of you, the seven people closest to you, then the next seven, and the next seven, and the next, then this whole room, let it grow in your inclusion, past human, past all blooming, past every last murmuration of starlings, until your soul is a whole swarm of moonbeams, filling the universe with your unique, super sweet and deeply-needed illumination.***Photo: “Starling Murmuration” by Tanya Hart***This piece had its world premiere 4/9/18 at Write Club Los Angeles.

[prestige-fashion-world]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Susana Mercedes Couture Vintage 60’s Green Jacket 6/8.

[faisalkhanlove]

Is there any free whiteboard animation software?

You wish to pick the very best computer animation firm for your company video clip, yet there are loads of choices. You can surely locate off-shore options for a few thousand bucks, and also you can surely discover premium carriers for numerous hundreds of bucks. Between there are some terrific (and also some simply great) alternatives at differing cost factors. Just how do you choose which one to deal with?

Spending plan is a great area to begin. That is why we have separated our suggestions by rate groups listed below. Company designs differ from group to group and we have defined the subtleties there too, so you recognize what to get out of each computer animation firm.

Why Do Intend to Aid You Locate the Ideal Computer animation Firm?

In the past we dive into a  worth and also profile contrast, we need to attend to the elephant in the room—isn't it odd that we are offering shouts bent on our competitors?

Many individuals could assume so. Yet we desire you to be certain that you are production the correct choice when you pick IdeaRocket. Our objective is to develop top quality computer animation that releases your message into orbit. We're respectable at it, if we do state so ourselves, however we're not the appropriate suitable for every service. When that is the situation, we desire you to discover the most effective computer animation firm for your spending plan and task. Why? Since we rely on the power of computer animation as well as we believe there is space at the table for everybody to prosper.

Nevertheless, we have not drawn punches. This listing consists of just the worthiest firms in each rate vary as well as we have been sincere regarding their toughness as well as weak points. Oh, and also we're leaving the home enjoyment firms off our listing entirely. Certainly the majority of organisations cannot manage to collaborate with Pixar.

Exclusive Agency-Client Workshops - $$$$

These firms commonly obtain their function from marketing and also advertising and marketing companies. Although they may periodically function straight with a firm, generally they do not market themselves straight to organisations. Their charges normally vary from the top 5 numbers to well into the six-figure range; the variety of individuals on their manufacturing groups can be as high as twenty or more.

Dollar Create: With workplaces in Brand-new York City, Los Angeles, and Sydney, Dollar Create was an computer animation giant for many years. They do not simply do computer animation, either, yet product packaging, tee shirts, publish, whatever. Here is a peek at the collection of brief movies they provided for Mailchimp Offers

Psyop: Established in Brand-new York City in 2000, Psyop currently has workplaces in Los Angeles also. Their specialized is premium, extremely outlined CGI work. They're the workshop behind Chick-Fil-A's well-known Xmas industrial "The Trigger" and also Coca-Cola's 2019 Extremely Dish Industrial highlighted listed below. They've ventured into web content and also video pc gaming systems as well.

Scholar: Started by Will certainly Johnson as well as William Campbell, Scholar began in Los Angeles previously increasing to Brand-new York. They operate in a range of strategies from online activity to CGI to standard computer animation. A number of those designs get on show in their advertisement for the 2020 Porsche 922.

These workshops do modern, stunning work that can possibly often go viral simply on the toughness of its awesomeness. Nonetheless, they run out allocate several brand names. These exclusive workshops usually function from ideas offered them by firms instead of functioning straight with organisations. Frequently, they'll do specification operate to win a large or respected job - and obviously, the set you back of their fell short specification pitches is amortized into task expenses.

Bottom-line: Exclusive workshops bill an exclusive cost and seldom work straight with brand names.  

Costs Direct-to-Business - $$$ This is our group. These business like IdeaRocket may occasionally deal with firms - in our situation, it is regarding a quarter of our organisation - yet are more made use of to functioning straight with organisations. That suggests we are concept-to-delivery homes, offering calculated recommendations as well as copywriting along with computer animation manufacturing.

The common job charge for these firms remains in the reduce 5 numbers. Normally, their manufacturing groups are tiny - normally 2 to 6 individuals.

IdeaRocket: That is us! We have innovative workplaces in NYC and London sustained by first-rate manufacturing solutions in Buenos Aires. While lots of international firms are making use of the unbelievable computer animation ability in Argentina by outsourcing, IdeaRocket is the just US-based computer animation workshop with its very own long-term manufacturing center in Buenos Aires. Our management and our society is both multilingual as well as multicultural, enabling a one-of-a-kind international fluency and also mixing of ability from all over the world. We're additionally an employee-owned business, so you can felt confident that every participant of our group has actually a rate of interest in your success.

Trial Duck: Trial Duck is a Chicago-based company that frequently obtains superb outcomes by outsourcing to exclusive musicians all over the world as well as providing excellent imaginative instructions. Established in 2011, they began off developing trial video clips as well as screencasts. Today, they provide both computer animation as well as real-time activity for a range of sectors.

Epipheo: Cincinnati-based Epipheo Workshops was among the initially business in the Explainer video clip market in 2009. They expanded a customer base thank you partly to a top quality articles program. A lot of their design was imitated to fatality by others yet Epipheo has continuouslied restore itself and also produce engaging function. They additionally very own Video clip Brewery, a lower-cost manufacturing system coordinating up manufacturing groups with consumers.

All-time low line: Costs companies assistance your video clip development procedure from idea to distribution. We function straight with brand names to provide costs video clip web content.

Mid-Tier Direct-to-Business - $$

These business usually (however not constantly) work with tiered cost frameworks: various rate degrees for various high quality degrees. If you can not manage a costs top quality item, these are the following ideal best alternative.

Demoflick: Started by Albert Berry in 2011, Boston-based Demoflick was just one of the leaders of the explainer video clip area. Their streamlined computer animation design is the appropriate selection for some brand names and also messages. They provide custom-designed computer animations along with application/software application demonstrations, educating, and business interaction video clips.

White boards Computer animation: Focusing on white boards computer animation, Whiteboardanimation.com is centered in Brooklyn, NY as well as Union City, NJ. They occasionally integrate white boards with various other methods such as 3d, to develop crossbreed techniques. Rates is based upon the intricacy of the video clip. You will pay a costs for shade and also smooth scene shifts. Their moms and dad workshop, ideaMACHINE supplies various other computer animation designs.

Yum Yum Computer animation: Buenos Aires has ended up being a hotbed of computer animation, with a lot of workshops (consisting of ours) touching the amazing skill there. Regarding I understand, Yum Yum is the just Buenos Aires-based workshop trying to market itself straight to US firms, although they likewise do some white-labeling for various other workshops.

Economic situation Direct-to-Business - $

Firms in this rate complete greatly on cost. The set you back here's 3 to 4 numbers each min. Although several of these service companies make believe not to, the majority of contract out their computer animation to India or Pakistan. The operate you access this rate vary is commonly common, as well as the develop has the tendency to be thin.

Broadcast2World: Broadcast2World is centered in India with a sales and advertising workplace in New Jacket. They use infographic computer animation along with typical 2D computer animation. You may see their item in mid-priced studio's portfolios since they white-label a great deal of their operate. They supply great worth, yet you may wish to care for the creating on your own.

Kukuzoo: Kukuzoo was started by Wear Radhay in Toronto, Canada. They began by aiding tale authors to develop personality layouts and also computer animations. In 2014, they transitioned to explainer video clips. Unlike many workshops, they are clear regarding their rates. Their create is threadbare, however their creating benefits the rate vary.

Freelancer Systems - $?

Can possibly you go more affordable yet? Certain, if you utilize a consultant system such as Upwork or Fiverr. Occasionally, business will search for organisation on these websites, yet regularly it's solo professionals. It's truly hard to discover a person that incorporates the abilities to compose a manuscript, create, and also animate a video clip, so you may should contribute some creating or at the same time, cobble with each other a group on your own. Yet indeed, it's feasible to produce a video clip this manner in which will set you back hundreds as opposed to hundreds of bucks.

As you can possibly see, picking the greatest computer animation firm for your company depends mainly on your spending plan. In my eBook, Being successful With Computer animated Video clip, I discuss how you can establish an allocate your computer animated video clip based upon anticipated expenses as well as predicted returns. Sign up with our e-newsletter to obtain your free duplicate!

Find out ways to handle an computer animated video clip task for your company:

How you can choose just what does it cost? to invest Getting buy-in from your company Selecting a service provider and design for your video clip Collaborating with your stakeholders Dealing with the innovative group How you can determine ROI on your video clip task Ways to advertise your video clip Maintaining metrics so you can possibly find out

Leading Messages

3 Means to Utilize Gifographics: Change Information Into Interesting GifsExperience Annecy 2021: A World Best Computer animation EventSpecialists Share Just how the Pandemic Modified the Form of AdvertisingOur Computer animated Video clip Manufacturing Procedure: From Suggestion to Orbit

[kaijuzilla]

My Pokemon(Fakemon) Story Idea? (Core Series)

MOD: So the you might be wondering what this post about? Well to tell you and I just wanna let this out. I’m just making just my own Pokemon region base off Coast of America meaning there will be lot of water types (maybe). So I’ll just tell you what it’s about and stuff under this link. (this is my idea and no I didn’t steal anything) (this is a practice and just wanna know how the story goes)

(Chances this will be separate partly) Pt.1

“Pokemon Spirit”

“(Pokemon belong to Game-Freak, Nintendo, The Pokemon Company, and Creatures. This isn’t a real Pokemon game and not a prediction to any new version later in the future. Pokemon name mentioned that are made belong to them while fakemon are just made.)”

Professor Maple: *webcam is on* WOAH! *fall over and look messy* S-sorry about that kiddo. You scare me for second there. *ahem* My name is Professor Maple and welcome to the world of Pokemon. Pokemon are magical creatures that live on Earth for many years. You can see them in jungle forest, murky swamp, beautiful grasslands, the ocean, and even up in the skies above us.  I study Pokemon natural environments by watching them through cameras making sure their habitats are nice and secured on the Census Region where I take care of wild Pokemon in my lab. Because long ago this region have trouble with the Pokemon population (rarities) back then so I decided to help restore their populations. Now..um..I’m sorry but are you a boy or a girl?.....Well then (player name) I hope to see you very soon at my lab today! And tell your mom I said hi! I’ll see you soon~. *wave goodbye then camera crash seeing slime on screen* AAAH!! GOODRA NOT NOW!!! *webcam off*

You’re starting town is Samara Town. In this town you’re next to a beach where people in your town and your neighbor town go to have fun and relax. You walk downstairs meeting your mom who knows everything upstairs. She know you’re getting your Pokemon to start off your journey by her childhood friend Maple. She is proud how you’re going to start off your journey that she tell you that she use to travel back then with Maple as her rival. She’ll be readying your bag as you walk out to the professor lab which is on top left of the town. When you’re about to enter a Goodra pops out the door with bird like Pokemon flying out the door. The professor walk out slowly looking tired as if she hasn’t slept in days. She see’s you and comes in with a slimy hug covering you in slime. She laugh and is happy to see you’re here just on time.  Both you enter seeing her lab windows open with two trees for Pokemon to climb and rest on as so many wild Pokemon are playing outside as you look out the glass wall. You heard three Pokemon cry as your turn and see nothing but something on your face which felt wet and stuck. You see the light and surprise to see the starter Pokemon.

- Kuttlish “Cuddle Pokemon” (Water) Lv.5 “It show it’s affection to it’s trainer by jumping onto their face and hug them for awhile. They’re also known to change color to camouflage from preys. Their break are strong enough to break the rocky surface of a Geodude.” (Atk/Def/Sp.Def) (Torrent/Suction Cups)

- Vinmodo “Komodo Pokemon” (Grass/Poison) Lv.5 “Their spine like thorns are very sensitive so they don’t like other people touching them. They warn them with a scary hiss. The saliva they have in their mouth are very venomous. One bite will cause the prey to lose muscle movement. This make catching their prey easy.” (Atk/Sp.Atk/Spd) (Overgrow/Poison Touch)

- Puprus “Guard Dog Pokemon” (Fire) Lv.5 “The collar around their neck are very special too them. If the trainer chosen this Pokemon, they will protect it’s master for it’s life.The collar then burns for what name you given to Puprus. It’s jaws are strong enough to rip off the water pipes and chew on it like a bone.” (Atk/Def/Spd) (Blaze/Strong Jaw)

(evolution work in progress that goes for other pokemon new to the region while there are returning ones)

Maple said these Pokemon where never seen before and she has no idea where they come from. They suddenly came to her lab all injured and beaten badly that she help recover them back to health. After that they decided to stay making her thinking that you can take really good care of them. When choosing the starter a sudden door burst open showing a out of breath person who is your rival. (the playable character) Your rival will see that you choose that starter that he/she gonna choose so instead he/she chosen the type advantage starter and ask for permission to battle outside. Your rival step outside then your mom came in seeing you and talk about the person that pass by her. She see you got your starter and gave your bag which is filled with 10 Poke Balls. (she the giving you options on how to catch you can say yes or no since we all know how to do it). Maple then give you the Pokedex (haven’t design it yet). After all that as you went outside, your rival battle begin! Beating your rival will see that the Pokemon she didn’t want to choose is not bad and he/she became liking his/her starter more. Your rival wish you luck and said next time he/she will be stronger than before. When your about to leave you heard a huge cry and a bells ringing. The trainer then felt relieved and so does the Pokemon around the lab feel calm too. You have no idea what that is till your professor came out rushing to see the ringing bell. Turns out she explain it was from a legendary Pokemon that it ring it’s bell across the region to calm the spirits, people, and Pokemon. She also said hearing the bell can bring huge luck to people as well. She then return to the lab and wish you lots of luck on your journey. 

You then make it to Route- 30, seeing two trainers ready to battle and some new Pokemon along the way. (No new Pokemon ideas yet but will be soon or later on) Along the way you made it to South Rim Town which has a Pokemon center/market and have two path leading to routes. Right path leads to Route 31 while the left leads to Dusty Whirl Canyon which is after you have two gym badges. As you go to Route 31 you bump into a very young trainer name Kitz who is being chase and follow by two mysterious people with an “R” logo on their back jacket. One of them say to hand over the kid but Kitz tell you that they lie to her saying they knew the champion but they’re trying to steal her Pokemon. The man shouted to keep her mouth shut and ask you one last time to hand over the kid. You refuse and the man was angry that he challenge you to battle. Beating them makes them even more angry. They retreat for now but they say that they’ll be back and you will regret ruining their hunt. Kitz said that they’re “Team Raptor” who hunt down Pokemon for money and fame. It is illegal in regions to hunt down Pokemon for money or sports since last time this happen a bunch of Bouffalant population were almost out of this region. She thank you for saving her and gave you an “Exp. Share”. As she saw you in battle made her more excited and inspire to become stronger one day so she can one day meet the champion and challenge her. She went back to South Rim Town and you go back to your journey.

You finally made it to Angeles City (Los Angeles)! Your rival saw you and wanna see how much stronger you gotten. After the battle your rival he/she would see how you gotten stronger then with great idea he/she said you should try take on the gym leader that is in this part of the city. You then meet the first gym leader Scrooge (“The Luckiest Man That Ever Live”) who specialize dark type Pokemon. He said he is busy so he ask you to go to his gym and he will be there soon or later. His gym is a quiz game which you must guess tot he trainer how much this item is in the market if guess wrong you battle and must answer the right answer. Once you beat 3 trainer you finally made it to Scrooge who happen to be there the whole time. He never tell you how he got here on time and he hope your lucky enough to beat his dark type team (Lv.10-13) (Sandile, Markrouw, Meowth(aloan) new dark type pokemon). He will use confuse ray and embargo to keep you from attacking and using items in battle and then use sucker punch to gain the speed advantage. (This technique will give trainers a hard time) Once you defeated him he will give you TM# Sucker Punch. He has never been defeated like this before and he is surprised and proud of you trusting your Pokemon when it’s in serious condition and tricky position which he than give you the Token Badge (Pokemon Lv.10-20). He hope he can battle you again to test your luck later on once the building next to him is finish construction. Your rival see that you got the gym leader badge and congratulate you on getting it. He/She will go challenge the gym leader now but the trainer you fought came out unexpected to tell you that Scrooge want to give you a “Battle Coin Case”. There is no explanation except that he’s now out the gym to help out and check on the construction that’s going on making the rival felt down missing the gym leader and must wait till he returns as you continue to the next gym.

You reach to Marshwood Swamp (base of Florida swamp)! This area is just like the mushy water area in Sinnoh Region (Diamond/Pearl) But there are rivers which needed a Pokemon to surf on. Since the swamp water isn’t that deep but will suck you in getting you stuck you decided to go with it. You hear a women voice yelling, “Now get out of me swamp ya filthy varmints!” as you see a group of Team Raptors running away seeing a girl with her (new fakemon) tired out as she whip her sweat off her head. She see you checking if your team is alright from the grunts. She see your fine and introduce herself as Hazel and she’s from Marshwood City. What happen is that the grunts where just hunting a bunch of other Pokemon for money when they are her best friend being tortured. After the conversation you see her swing on the vines that swing her over the river. This made going over the swamp more easily but you may bump into some trainers along the way. As you finally reach to Marshwood City your rival finally catch up to you. He/She complaint about how muddy and how many time he/she got stuck in the mud so much to get here. He/She wish that she would have the rider page but he/she doesn’t know where to get it but then explain what it is (was introduce in Sun/Moon(UltraSun/UltraMoon)). Your rival then go to the Pokemon Center just to rest for awhile from how hard it is to get to you. As you look around town you learn that the people around here live here because this area has very good fertilize dirt that it made farming very easily around here. It also been said that one of the elite four member live here as well as chief of the town and his granddaughter lives here too which she came from another region. As you got to the gym you found out the gym leader is actually Hazel (“Tomboyish Construction Girl”), who specialize Water type Pokemon which made electric type useless due to some of them being half ground type. She surprise to see that you arrive to her gym and she hope that you can handle her team (Lv.15-24) (Shellos (East Sea) and Barboach. They will have advantage too electric type pokemon so it's better to use grass type and watch out for mud-slap and mud bombs to lower the Pokemon accuracy. Beating her will earn you the Vine Badge (Lv.20-38) and will be given a TM# Mud Bomb. After the battle her grandfather name Lumber appeared in front of her gym surprising her.  He wanted to check on how the gym going and seeing you with her gym badge embarrass from her grandpa seeing that she lost. Meeting the trainer tells you if you want to be stronger with your Pokemon you could try Route 33 which lead o Everest City and to the restricted Area 51. It’s also full of rare Pokemon as well. Before you leave your rival came to fight you again. When you defeated him/her both you and your rival are given a “Rider Page” by Lumber. Since he heard some people are having trouble with the swamp lately he decided to give you the device that also hold the “Quagsire Swamp” rider page that can help . He also tell the story that Hazel have a Pokemon that she love so much before becoming gym leader. He know that a couple of Team Raptor was just hear today till Hazel kick them out of the swamp he know that might happen because she hate what Team Raptor when they took her Mudkip long time ago which is a gift for her when he went to the Hoenn Region to help do constructions in the forests. So he wants your help to help find her Mudkip for him because she just want her Mudkip back so much as they’ve created a great bond with each other. As you accept the request he thanks you and went off the road.

(this all I got but there will be Pt.2 someday)