#Comprehensive shoe care in LA

[jester-lover]

She's in Parties

Twisted wonderland characters with a goth girlfriend feat. Trey, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, Rook, Silver, and Lilia cw- fem! reader, confident! reader, fluff, goth author freaks out about goth music, very long post

I notice how often the fanfic community focuses in on the clothing/makeup relating to the goth subculture, and while there will be a lot of that in this post, I want more people to experience the music. I left a goth song recommendation I think fits each character, from gothic metal to softer new wave. No gatekeeping here.

Trey

Trey is definitely not knowledgeable about the goth scene, he listened to a few songs here and there, and probably had a minor emo phase in middle school

He does however enjoy the slower more melancholic goth songs you play for him, or more sweet/romantic songs

Trey is usually the one keeping law and order in his dorm, so sometimes he likes having calming activities like baking and picnics to get away from it all

Having a goth girlfriend, someone who can really understand his perceivable struggle of mundanity, and bring a spark of excitement to his life is a gift he will always appreciate

He would love body mods, like tattoos, piercings etc

Tattoos especially if they have meanings behind them, he thinks they’re like stories on your skin

This man has no clothing comprehension (fedora), he straight up doesn't care what you're wearing 

He does however, really like when you wear funky jewelry, and leather jackets

Something is just so sweet about your caring attitude towards him, contrasting with your look that tends to terrify people

We would make you bat shaped cookies 100%

A song that you and Trey listen to together would be Ecstasy by Strawberry Switchblade

“Maybe if you pair the red leather pants with the fishnet top, it’ll match your makeup.”

Jade 

You might look like the dark, mysterious part of your relationship, but we all know that title goes to Jade

This boy is, unnerving to say the least, but you’ve always been a fan of strange things

He absolutely adores your aesthetic, even if you tone it down for school, or wear trad goth makeup every day, he’s obsessed

I feel like jade would enjoy gothic films, like The Crow, or Nosferatu, along with a long list of horror movies

“The movie itself is a bit overwhelming, but the plot is so delightfully dark, I think you would really like it dear.”

He probably does listen to goth music, more post punk and new wave type stuff, like The Cure, so a part of your music is not new to him

But he’d love to be introduced to more vibrant gothic music (it makes for a good hiking playlist)

He loves all types of gothic makeup on you, but especially enjoys 90s’ goth makeup, with tight black eyeliner, and burgundy red lipstick

Something about the simplicity of the style, along with the somber tone of the music you listen to makes Jade’s heart flutter (if he has one)

A song that would remind you of Jade is Heaven or Las Vegas by the Cocteau Twins

Floyd

He’s a lil creepy guy himself! You guys are two peas in a pod! 

Floyd loves having a goth girlfriend, the fashion, makeup, music and general aesthetic are right up his alley

We know our boy loves shoes, so he would absolutely adore it if you had a funky shoe collection, from tall and heavy platforms, to cute yet sharp winklepickers 

He would love loud gothic rock, extreme music hypes him up before a big game

I read in floyd’s wiki that he dislikes restraint, so the loudness and brashness of gothic rock would be something he really enjoys

In terms of fashion, Floyd is one of the few boys who would definitely allow you to give him a makeover 

Tease and gel his hair, layers of silk over fishnet and leather, you can really go all out

Be careful though, because he’s also the type to come running for hugs and kisses right when you've finished getting ready

Floyd thinks that the best looks on you are the ones that require layering, he loves seeing you look like a shapeless bat creature

His most favorite part about having you as a girlfriend is how easy it is to find you in the stands during a basketball game

Floyd definitely gives you some freaky fish nickname, like ‘anglerfish’ just because he’s a meanie like that

"Anglerfish! I found a sweater you'll love, Its got bats all over it!"

A song that Floyd would like is Head like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails

Jamil 

Jamil caught your eye due partially to his dancing skills, and his hair

I mean look at it, the boy is a walking shampoo commercial 

He really is clueless about goth music, you really have to keep him on the shallow side before throwing him off the deep end

“So, you like music about coffins and funerals then?”

He really does enjoy your aesthetic quite a bit, every time you come home from a day of shopping (at a thrift store most likely) he encourages you to give him a little fashion show

Kalim might have been mildly terrified the first time he saw you, but then he realized how happy you made Jamil, and accepted you!

Pre-overblot, he enjoys more angry, loud gothic rock, but after, he asks you to introduce him to some softer goth music

Jamil has always dreamed of giving his significant other a life full of joy, so sometimes he likes fantasizing about a future with you, and dancing to romantic goth songs

A song you and Jamil dance to is Heaven by The Cure 

Rook 

Ooolala a mysterious figure shrouded in darkness? He is intrigued

You definitely notice him, and you definitely ask him out first

(he swoons)

Rook is a perplexing character, he never really shows any interest towards your music, before suddenly turning up with a full playlist

Turns out, he’s been keeping track of the songs you mention in passing conversation and blast in your room

He loves you in long flowy black skirts, with full trad makeup, he thinks you look so beautiful

“Mon petit ange, you look absolutely breathtaking, villainous beauty like yours is dangerous!”

Rook is most definitely the of boy who goes out in the middle of the night with you for an impromptu photoshoot, or walk through a graveyard

You two have a very ‘Morticia and Gomez’ type relationship, considering just how obsessed this man is with you

He writes poems about you

Rook probably also adores romantic goth songs, especially the weirder ones

A song you two would listen to together is Temple of Love by the Sisters of Mercy

Lilia 

Scene bf x goth gf

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t avidly listen to My Chem? You can’t.

You two are two birds of a feather! (a crow’s most likely)

He absolutely adores your sense of fashion, and how it aligns with his own, just be aware that if you have any cool hoodies/jackets, he will steal them from you

Speaking of clothes, he loves any of them on you, especially bat-like clothes, like black shirts/dresses with long flowy sleeves and flared pants

“Hehehe we match in both clothing and personality!”

He also listens to goth music, and considering he’s ancient, he’s probably experienced some classic bands in concert 

Would love to share his most macabre stories with you, if you want to hear him ramble

Lilia is a fan of all genres of gothic music, especially the funky kinds of music often blasted in goth clubs

You two are very like minded individuals and that keeps you both very happy

A song you and Lilia would dance to is What’s Inside a Girl? By The Cramps

Silver 

He’s so soft for you

You just cause fear wherever you go, and Silver’s just there, softly smiling

He doesn't listen to loud music unless he’s trying his best to stay awake, but when he is trying to sleep, he prefers the more mellow stuff

“Do you have any really calming music I can listen to?”

He cares so very little about what you wear, but he likes you in velvet so you're soft to cuddle with

Silver cares a lot about you, so if he sees people making bad remarks about you, he’ll confront them, he’s scary when he’s mad

He enjoys watching gothic movies with you too, but might fall asleep mid movie

Since the Diasomnia uniform is all black, he gets a little kick out of matching with you

A song Silver and you listen to as you lounge about is Lorelai by the Cocteau Twins

Bonus! More alternative songs that remind me of the boys :)

Trey-  Linger by The Cranberries

Jade-  Nocturnal Me by Echo and the Bunnymen

Floyd-  Nasty by The Damned

Jamil- Kiss me, Son of God by They might be Giants

Rook- Gentlemen take Polaroids by Japan

Lilia-  Time by David Bowie

Silver- Sacrifice by London after Midnight

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Angst with a Happy Ending, Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Another day, another stupid man to deal with. You run into a familiar face when you go to meet up with the face and person that's been on your mind all day.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Nancy Drew and the Instagram Account

You start your Sunday early to beat the sun and the heat. Your cycling group is meeting up on the San Diego waterfront just as the sun rises. The day is clear and just a bit crisp. You revel in the chill now as it will heat up soon, especially with the hilly route on deck for today. The ride starts easily with the Bay Shore Bikeway up to La Jolla then it heats up with a trip to the top of Mount Soledad, the ride down is fast enough that you can feel the moisture in your eyes being wicked away by the arid dry air. The rest of the course skirts around the eastern edges and suburbs of San Diego. After a few stops for water and some snacks to keep you energized, the ride winds down at about 2 pm where you started. You start packing away some of your gear and sit to change your shoes to get on the ferry. As you're tying the laces on your shoes, a shadow looms over you.

“Elsa, how’s it going?”

Bill asks. Of course it’s Bill, he does this every time the group meets.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me tonight, like a date?”

Bill is nice, but he’s also a good 20 years older than you and more like your father than is comfortable in the dating scene.

“Sorry Bill, answer’s still the same, no. Besides I have plans tonight,” the thought of Jake brings an unconscious smile to your lips.

“Come on, Elsa, you’ve got to give in sometime, I’m just trying to be a nice guy. It’s just one date, I’ll cook you dinner at my house, a little wine, it’ll be a nice night. You gotta say yes.”

You sigh, knowing that what is going to come out your mouth next is going to make the next meet up the group awkward as fuck, but you can deal with akward.

“Bill, how many times have you asked me out?”

He shrugs,

“A lot, I guess.”

“And I always say no. What makes you keep asking when you get the same answer? That’s the literal definition of insanity.”

“I figure persistence pays off and besides I’m a nice guy, give me a chance.”

“Bill, the answer today, tomorrow, and every time in the future is going to be no. N. O. I don’t want to date some overbearing guy who has no respect for what I say and what boundaries I draw. Being a “nice guy” doesn’t entitle you to a date.”

By this time others in the cycling group are starting to notice the exchange. Millie, who is a retired Navy Captain, steps over to see what’s going on.

“Jeez, Elsa, you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

“Bill, if you think this is me being a bitch, buckle up buttercup, you haven’t seen anything yet. I can’t help that your sense of language comprehension and pattern recognition is that of a four-year old, you sad old man. No means no. We’re done here.”

You start to walk your bike towards the ferry terminal and Millie runs over to catch up.

“You okay?” she asks, giving you a side hug.

“Yeah, just tired of dealing with Bill’s bullshit week after week. I just want to come ride and hang out with friends. Not ward off old dudes trying to get into my pants.”

“We’ll take care of it, Bill’s out of the group, easy peasy,”

Millie says. Millie is one of the founding members of the cycling group and part of a kick-ass group of older retired military women who deal with exactly zero shit from anyone.

“Thanks, Millie, I appreciate that. I gave him so many outs, but he kept coming back into the danger zone.”

She shrugs,

“Some people are just dumb. You did good back there. Do you need anyone to see you home in case he gets weird about it?”

“No, keep him occupied for about 15 minutes while I get on the ferry and I’ll be good.”

You give Millie a hug and wave goodbye as you get on your bike to ride the last little distance to the ferry. When you get home you jump into the shower to rinse all of the day’s gross parts off, real and metaphorical.

As you're getting out of the shower you hear your phone ding:

Lydia: So you and Hangman, becoming a thing? A baseball game (glad you found a dork that likes baseball) and dinner at what I know is your favorite restaurant (the tapas place in the Gaslamp Quarter.) It's like you’re putting your best moves on him.

You: I'm not putting my moves on him, you and I both know I have exactly zero moves. He offered up the baseball game as amends for being a jackass the other night at the bar. I was hungry after the game so I invited him along.

Lydia: Liar. Liar. Pants on fire! 🔥 You asked him on the dinner date. I pressed him for the deets when he mentioned going to the Padres game that I saw on your Instagram. And he crumbled like a lovesick fool. Between asking for your number and him coming back practically skipping and whistling I figured it out.

You: Alright, Nancy Drew, Girl Detective you got it right. It was Colonel Mustard in the library with a wrench.

Lydia: What are you even talking about?

You: How have you never played a game of Clue?

You: Nevermind.

Lydia: So…..how was he in the sack? These Navy guys are fucking built.

You: We only made it to my porch.

Lydia: Ooh, outdoor sex. Adventurous.

You: Not that! We just had some really nice kissing that ventured into a bit of heavy petting. And then I said good night.

Lydia: Right. And you have plans with him tonight. You like like him!

You: How did you know about that?

Lydia: The walls here are hilariously thin. You can hear everything that happens here.

You: So Jake mentioned. How was that mustache ride?

Lydia: De-fucking-lightful. 10/10 would highly recommend.

You: I'll remember that yelp review when I'm in search of a mustache ride which will be…..never. Seriously, what's up with the stache? Did he lose a bet?

Lydia: Didn't come (heh heh) up in conversation.

You: You are the worst. Talk to you later, remember to keep hydrated with all the sexing you’re doing.

Lydia: Smooches & Byeeee!

You shake your head at the conversation you just had with Lydia. Before you put your phone down you text Jake to set up the now infamous drink date tonight.

You: So, we still on for drinks tonight? How does 7 at the Hard Deck sound?

You don’t expect a reply right away and put your phone on the charger and head over to the couch with a giant jug of water and make plans to watch some TV and chill for the rest of the afternoon. Somewhere, around an hour later when you've already watched two documentaries on WWII aircraft your phone dings. In what can be described as an all out sprint you rush to your phone.

Jake: That sounds like a date. See you there. Maybe this time I'll get to buy you more than one drink, (my turn.)

You: See you then.

It's about 4 pm now, which gives you enough time to whip up a nice curry for dinner and still have time to gussy up for your date. This is actually date date.

Getting ready to go out has become more of a challenge than you anticipated. You've pulled out every dress you own and rejected each one twice. You're looking for that "Oh just drinks, you just threw on whatever to come here." Your goal is effortless grace, not "I totally overthinked every aspect of my appearance and maybe had a slight panic attack." In frustration you call Lydia, breathlessly shouting out as soon as she answers,

"You actually have fashion sense, what should I wear?"

The cackle comes out of the phone speaker first and then her reply,

"Just drinks, riiight. You’re actually trying to impress him aren't you? This is adorable, Elsa has found someone to melt her frozen heart or other parts."

She snorts at her own terrible joke and you can practically hear her eyebrows rising up and down on her forehead.

"Don't overthink it like you usually do. Wear the magenta dress with the nice flowy skirt. It'll be easy to get off later."

There's a muffled male voice in the background saying something like "Come back to bed, baby."

"Are you still at Rooster's? How are you not chafed or unable to walk?"

"No, we actually ventured out for some beach time and came back to mine, a whole lot more privacy. By the way, I might have heard a certain someone moaning another person's name last night when he presumably was taking care of his blue balls courtesy of you. Well, have fun, do something I would do, Byeeee!"

You, for some reason, follow Lydia's advice and wear the suggested dress. Wearing a bra with this dress is impossible due to the plunging back. Lydia knew exactly what she was doing when she suggested this particular dress. Scanning your underwear drawer you spot a pair of black lace boy shorts that you know make your ass look really good. After setting a light curl into your dark brown, almost black hair, you leave it down to cascade down your shoulders and back. Minimal make-up, you're always going for the natural look, but for some reason you pick a darker magenta shade of lipstick that complements the dress. You grab a light sweater and your purse and you're out the door. The walk over to the Hard Deck is nice and cool and calming. The butterflies in your stomach start to flutter as you approach the door and it hits you that you actually want to impress him tonight. It's an exhilarating and terrifying concept at the same time, what are you getting yourself into?

You don't really have time to delve into your brain after that idea as I've arrived at the Hard Deck. You push open the door and pull your sweater off. Despite it being a Sunday night the place is pleasantly buzzing with a steady hum of voices and glasses clinking together and onto tabletops around the bar. You scan the crowd and don't spot Jake anywhere so you make your way up to the bar. At the bar there's is a familiar bomber jacket and black head of hair.

"As I live and breathe, it's Maverick. And in one piece,"

You say as you sit on the open bar stool next to him. He's halfway through a swig of beer when he turns and makes the connection that it’s you sitting next to him.

"Elsa! What brings you to this place?"

"Meeting a friend for a drink."

Penny comes over and asks,

"The usual?"

You nod yes. Maverick says,

“Put that on my tab, I owe this gal a drink for stepping in as my temporary guardian angel."

Penny looks a bit confused at the statement but shrugs and goes to make your drink.

"I should be asking you the same thing, what brings you down to North Island? I thought you were just going to carry on at the Skunk Works."

He takes a swig of his beer and shrugs, "The usual pissed off an Admiral. They weren't overly impressed with me breaking "the project" apart." He uses air quotes to reference the Darkstar hypersonic stealth jet you were both working on and he was serving as the test pilot.

"I'm teaching at Top Gun for a few weeks. While the Navy decides your fate for me."

He leans over to whisper,

"Thank you for saving my life, there's no other reason I'm alive other than your life pod."

"How did it perform?" you ask quietly.

"Like riding a mattress down and landing on a marshmallow, so perfectly. Next time can you get it to drop me off near civilization rather in the middle of an orange grove near Fresno?"

You laugh,

"Jeez, so needy, not only do I save your life and give you a gentle ride back to earth, you want door to door service. I'll see what I can do."

You glance over to the door to see Jake coming through the door; he instantly scans the crowd and locks in on you. You catch his eyes and then turn back to Maverick and say,

"I'd love to get together to pick your brain on other impressions on "the project". Thanks for the drink. I’m glad you’re alive."

You lean in to hug Maverick.

Your drink has appeared on the bar and by the time Jake has jostled his way through the crowd to the bar you can see that the expression on his face has turned from that panty dropper smile to confusion and a bit of jealousy.

He swaggers up to the bar and gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Both Maverick and Jake are looking at each other confused and startled.

"Hey, Captain, didn't think you'd be back here after the other night." Jake says with that patented smirk.

Maverick winks and says,

"I like the company and the scenery."

He nods his head towards Penny. You cock your head with a questioning look. Maverick sheepishly replies,

"We have a complicated…history.".

Jake asks, his signature smirk in full force,

"How do you know Elsa or are you hitting on women who are half your age and out of your league, now?"

Chapter 6

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

[lavida01]

Extracurricular Activities in Faridabad Daycare Centers: Enhancing Child Development

In the bustling city of Faridabad, daycare centers are not just facilities where children spend time while their parents are at work; they are vibrant hubs of learning and development. Recognizing the crucial role these centers play in early childhood development, top daycare facilities like La Vida Montessori School have incorporated a broad range of extracurricular activities designed to enhance children's physical, cognitive, social, and emotional growth. Here’s a deeper look into how these activities contribute to a child’s overall development and why they are vital in selecting a Day care in faridabad.

Physical Development Activities

Sports and Physical Fitness: Many Day care in faridabad prioritize physical activities, understanding that good health is foundational to children's overall development. At centers like La Vida Montessori, children might participate in structured sports, yoga, or simple daily exercises that promote physical health, coordination, and motor skills. These activities are crucial not only for fitness but also for teaching children about teamwork and perseverance.

Outdoor Play: Engaging with nature through outdoor play is another essential activity offered by quality Day care in faridabad. These sessions can include anything from playground time to structured outdoor explorations, like nature walks and scavenger hunts, which encourage children to explore and understand their environment.

Cognitive and Academic Enhancement

Language Workshops: To boost cognitive development and language skills, some dDay care in faridabad provide workshops in storytelling, reading, or even basic second-language classes. These activities enhance vocabulary and comprehension skills, setting a strong foundation for future academic success.

Creative Arts and Crafts: Creative activities stimulate mental development and allow children to express their individuality. Crafts, drawing, and painting sessions help develop fine motor skills while also fostering creativity and imagination.

Social and Emotional Growth

Group Activities and Teamwork: Day care in faridabad are ideal settings for children to learn about social interactions and relationships. Through group activities that require cooperation, such as team sports or collaborative art projects, children learn valuable social skills such as sharing, empathy, and communication.

Drama and Role-Playing: These activities are fun ways for children to express themselves and understand the world around them. Role-playing can help children develop empathy and emotional awareness by putting themselves in someone else's shoes.

Cultural and Environmental Awareness

Cultural Activities: In a culturally rich city like Faridabad, top Day care in faridabad incorporate activities that celebrate diverse traditions and festivals. These can help children appreciate their own cultural heritage and that of their peers, fostering an inclusive environment.

Environmental Education: Understanding the importance of sustainability and conservation from an early age is crucial. Activities focused on environmental education, such as recycling projects or learning about wildlife, encourage children to be conscious of their surroundings and the impact they have on the planet.

Conclusion

The range of extracurricular activities offered by daycare centers like La Vida Montessori in Faridabad is indicative of a shift towards comprehensive child development. These centers understand that development extends beyond academic achievements; it includes nurturing a well-rounded individual capable of thriving in social, emotional, and environmental realms. For parents in Faridabad, choosing a Day care in faridabad that offers such a diverse array of activities is pivotal. It ensures that children are not only safe and well-cared-for but are also engaging in activities that foster their development in holistic and enriching ways.

[aaatourcostarica1]

Planning Your Perfect Costa Rica Vacation: A Comprehensive Guide

Costa Rica, known for its breathtaking landscapes, rich biodiversity, and vibrant culture, is a top destination for travelers seeking adventure, relaxation, and everything in between. Whether you're a first-time visitor or a seasoned traveler, planning the perfect Costa Rica vacation requires careful consideration of your interests, budget, and travel style. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you navigate your way to an unforgettable Costa Rican getaway.

1. Best Time to Visit

Costa Rica boasts a tropical climate, with the dry season (December to April) being the most popular time to visit. During this period, you can expect sunny days and minimal rainfall, perfect for beach activities and exploring national parks. The rainy season (May to November) offers lush landscapes and fewer crowds, making it ideal for those who prefer a quieter, greener experience.

2. Top Destinations

Arenal Volcano and La Fortuna: A must-visit for adventure seekers. Enjoy hiking, hot springs, and the stunning Arenal Volcano. Don’t miss the La Fortuna Waterfall and the hanging bridges in Mistico Arenal Park.

Monteverde Cloud Forest: Known for its unique ecosystem and biodiversity. Go zip-lining, take a guided night tour, or walk through the misty cloud forest reserves.

Manuel Antonio National Park: Perfect for beach lovers and wildlife enthusiasts. Explore pristine beaches, hike through lush rainforests, and spot monkeys, sloths, and exotic birds.

Tamarindo: A vibrant beach town famous for surfing, nightlife, and stunning sunsets. It’s a great spot for both relaxation and water sports.

Osa Peninsula and Corcovado National Park: For the intrepid traveler, this remote area offers incredible wildlife encounters and unspoiled natural beauty.

3. Activities and Adventures

Surfing: Costa Rica is a surfer’s paradise with popular spots like Tamarindo, Jaco, and Santa Teresa offering waves suitable for all levels.

Wildlife Watching: Visit national parks like Tortuguero and Manuel Antonio for a chance to see turtles, monkeys, and a variety of bird species.

Zip-lining and Canopy Tours: Monteverde and Arenal are top spots for zip-lining adventures through the treetops.

Hiking: Explore trails in national parks such as Corcovado, Arenal, and Rincon de la Vieja for a mix of easy walks and challenging hikes.

Water Activities: Enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, and boat tours in areas like the Papagayo Peninsula and the Gulf of Papagayo.

4. Accommodation Options

Costa Rica offers a range of accommodation options to suit every budget and preference. From luxury resorts and eco-lodges to budget hostels and vacation rentals, you’ll find something that fits your needs. For a unique experience, consider staying in a treehouse or a beachfront bungalow.

5. Travel Tips

Health and Safety: Costa Rica is a safe destination, but it’s always wise to take precautions. Drink bottled water, use insect repellent, and avoid leaving valuables unattended.

Currency: The local currency is the Costa Rican Colón (CRC), but US dollars are widely accepted. ATMs are available in most towns.

Transportation: Renting a car offers the most flexibility, but Costa Rica also has a reliable network of buses and shuttles. Domestic flights are available for quicker travel between distant regions.

Packing: Pack light, breathable clothing, sturdy hiking shoes, swimwear, and rain gear if visiting during the rainy season. Don’t forget sunscreen and a reusable water bottle.

6. Cultural Etiquette

Costa Ricans, or "Ticos," are known for their friendliness and hospitality. Learn a few basic Spanish phrases to enhance your interactions. Respect local customs and wildlife, and always practice sustainable tourism by minimizing your environmental impact.

Planning a vacation to Costa Rica promises an adventure filled with stunning landscapes, diverse wildlife, and rich cultural experiences. By considering the best times to visit, top destinations, and various activities, you can tailor your trip to match your interests and preferences. Whether you’re lounging on pristine beaches, exploring vibrant rainforests, or immersing yourself in local culture, Costa Rica offers something for everyone. Start planning your dream vacation today and get ready to experience the Pura Vida lifestyle!

[carmenized-onions]

Ad Interim. | No Service

logline; The days and doubts and desires; the air, underneath the shoe.

[!!!] series history, this is the ninth; the amount of links are getting nauseating just go to the landing LMAO.

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. I listen to this playlist too much in my day to day now, fr.

portion; 3k+

possible allergies; you're almost ten chapters in, you know very well by now that these two are rife with anxiety and insecurity.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (gets she/her'd mb)

fun fact: i finished this one 19 hours after the last chapter, whoops, but let it sit in my drafts to give some breathing room and do some rework

It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life.

But today’s Tuesday, and though you feel a touch uneasy, you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— Or, at least, hope it is.

You’re at home, sitting on your couch, pensive, haggard, leaned over. Elbows to knees, prayer hands to face, staring at your phone on the coffee table in front of you.

Just send it. Just send the text. Don’t be a fucking wuss. You’ve re-written it in your notes app like five fucking times— He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— Okay, that’s mean— But it’s just not that deep. Just fucking! Send it!

Actually no, no, upon sixth review, the paragraph you had written out was way too intense, way too presumptive. Backspace, backspace, backspace—Just say hi. Let’s just start with Hi.

‘Yooooooooo’

Are you fucking possessed? Good Lord. How is he already typing he never used to reply this fast, what the fuck—

‘Are u fucking haunted?’

‘Fuck is yooooooo’

‘Yooo to you too, cousin’

Faster texter now, but Richie is still the same guy, at the end of the day.

‘this is a loaded fucking question’

‘but do you think you’ll be free any time this week?’

‘not unless ur dead or dying’

‘are you dead or dying?’

‘not that I’ve heard’

‘but I was thinking maybe we could like, get food or smth’

‘chat one on one. Been a minute, yknow’

That was too much. You didn’t need to do all that. Now he’s gonna go well who’s fault is that? And it’s yours. You know it’s yours. And then you’re gonna have that fucking conversation— Which is what this whole meet up thing was supposed to be about in the first place—

‘heard’

‘can’t get time off but fak needs to have his training wheels ripped’

‘could have dinner at the bear this week? Like 2 hours. Then I can watch him and keep him from shitting the bed’

‘and still get to do a fucking one on one, you corporate speak ass’

‘I didn’t know how else to fucking say it alright!!!!!!’

‘Dinner @ bear sounds good to me’

‘but probably ask carm/syd first if it’s cool’

‘yea yea I’ll fuckin check in with daddy don’t worry’

‘that sucked for me. That sucked to read. Go to jail.’

‘already have.’

‘I’ll let u know a time when I know. See u chip’

You heart it. The classic signal that it’s the end of a conversation. Holy shit. You did it. You actually texted someone that you miss that you miss them— Not directly, but you know Rich knows. And specifically, to book a dinner, to talk about what happened, to apologize for it. That’s pretty fucking huge. Which means—

It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. You’re absolutely at your social limit, for the day. Maybe you’ll talk it through with Mikey, actually. To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing.

You’re gonna get dinner with Richie. You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. And it’s not gonna be awkward or weird, at all.

It is t-minus two days, until the worst Friday of Carmen’s life, so far, at least. There’s always next year.

But today’s Wednesday, and though he feels a little nerve-wracked, he’s pretty sure it’s just because the kitchen was so fucking dysfunctional this morning, and now that their prep’s off, the tempo of the whole fucking day is off, and they're behind on two tables. And fucking seriously this time, can someone get him a fucking marker that fucking works.

Okay, maybe it’s a little more, than nerve wracked.

Sydney is ever the intuitive, and always correct, at the station next to him— Because yes, they’re still down a hire since the meth guy, so now Carmen is on line.

She can tell, that somethings wrong with him, something’s always wrong with him. “Take your ten, Chef.”

Carmen shakes his head, obviously, there’s still prep to catch up on. And if he doesn't do it, it's not gonna get done, and even if it does get done, it's not gonna get done right. He’s pressing the dead sharpie down on the tape, like if he just brute forces it, it’ll start to work. “M’good, Chef.”

“Carmen.” She turns to him fully, stopping her work. And so, he does too. “Take your fucking ten.” She deadpans, she’s not taking no for an answer. She rubs her fist over her heart.

Carmen takes a beat, before nodding, doing the same. “Heard, Chef.”

He needs to look over expense reports that he can’t quite comprehend, anyways.

He really needs his sister. He steps into his office. Despite the fact that they re-constructed just about everything in the restaurant, this musty office remains the same. Untouched. After caving down walls, they had to cut the budget somewhere. He’s glad though, that it's untouched. It might be crowded, poorly organized, have an off smell (probably because of the birth in here, just a few weeks back), but it’s exactly as his brother left it, and that helps him feel… Connected, somehow.

What the hell is Var vs Budget? He’s googling every other word, here. He’s more than grateful, that before going home on mat leave, Sug set up a good enough automated Excel sheet that he could just plug in numbers and it did all the calculating for him. Doesn’t mean he knows what any of the numbers mean, but, they’re there.

He knows that red equals bad. Natalie told him that very specifically. Which did seem like she was calling him fucking stupid, but he let it go. There’s a lot of red. That’s a lot of bad. Well, not a lot, but like, a third of this is red. That’s probably more than it should be. How many months do they have again? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He is never gonna get to pay himself, he’s never gonna be able to pay Syd, he's never gonna get her a star, she’s gonna live with her dad for the rest of her life, you are never gonna get to work here, you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life, he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his, he’s gonna have to hand the deed to Cicero and then fucking everyone is gonna to lose their jobs and he’s still gonna be him. He’s still gonna be him. Carmy Berzatto, the chef that lost everything, little brother to everyone's hero who blew his brains out. Starless in Chicago, unable to feel anything more than sorry for himself. Carmen’s gonna die as Carmen, and nothing more. At the end of the day.

Take a deep breath, Bear. Relax.

He’s catastrophizing. You told him that. He forgot to look into it. He googles that, instead of another business term he doesn’t understand.

‘Fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not.’

Well, it does seem pretty fucking likely that he’s doomed to fail and fall into a Sisyphean nightmare of opening restaurants and falling on his fucking face, dragging everyone he loves down with him with his stupid failed pipe dreams. He's no better than his brother.

He tries his best to think of whatever level-headed bullshit you'd give to him, right now, tries to taste the hot chocolate, the lavender and cardamom coffee. He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps.

Maybe, maybe it’s just been a bad week. Maybe there will be a lot of bad weeks, maybe there won’t be. Maybe things will be fine, maybe they won’t. You and Syd will still succeed, even if he fails. Everyone will, even if he fails. He has a very capable crew. And while he cannot escape the thought that failure is around the corner, at the very least, he is comforted by the idea that at least he will be the only one sinking with the ship he commands.

The thought of drowning alone is still impossible to rid of. Though.

But you’ve sent a text. And isn’t that a wonderful distraction?

Your connection results in response to his, from this morning, of course. You actually got it today. He swells with what feels like pride, and despite the fact that no one's looking at him, he has to hide his smile with his hand, embarrassed by how happy he is, when he sees the photo you’ve sent, just now. A selfie, sitting next to an oven, Other Tony’s oven. You’re holding a fried wire in your hand.

The text below it is a wonderful salve, ‘If you ever fuck up your ovens, I’ve got like, 10 thermocouples in my personal stock now :))’

So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone. ‘Heard.’

Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. You’re only two blocks away, at La Mattina. You’d come, if he asked. He knows that. But he also knows that even if you calm him down, in the long run, it’ll set his day even further off tempo, he’ll be distracted the rest of his shift, and that’s the last thing he needs. He can handle this himself.

‘:)’ For levity. Or something. He’s trying. You give it a heart, so that means he’s done something good, he’s pretty sure.

There’s a knock at his door. Richie does not wait for an answer before coming in. His knocks are more like warnings, really. Carmen’s quick to tuck his phone away, he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion.

“Aye, cous—”

Carmen does not let the man get a word in inch wise, “Who’s on expo?”

Richie grimaces, this fucking song and dance, again. “Syd.”

“Who’s on her station, then?”

“T.”

“And hers?”

“She’s doin’ fuckin’ both Carmy— And—” Richie pulls a sharpie out of his breast pocket, throwing it at him. Carmen catches it. “Fuckin’ works. Alright?”

Marker works, and the system works. He catches the double meaning, too. Carmen nods, “Heard.”

“Christ.” Richie looks to high heaven, looks to his best friend, really, to give him strength. “Can I take my fuckin’ turn now?”

“Yeah, yeah, go ‘head.” Carmen turns to his desk, looking over the excel sheet, again. He can’t imagine Richie needing all of his undivided attention, right now, he’s not you.

Speaking of you, he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. He needs to text Sug, about that. No, she’s got a fucking baby, he’ll at least look for a physical copy, first.

“I need to take two hours, on Friday.”

“Huh?” Carm’s head snaps up. Okay, maybe he does need to give his full attention to Richie, right now. “Eva got a fuckin’ recital, or somethin’?”

“No, no, uh— Chip wants to get dinner.” Rich scratches his nose with his thumb. “Thought since Fak's been training to host f'like, the whole fuckin’ month, could do dinner 'ere, let him do a run on us. Two birds, one bullet, y’know.”

“It’s stone.”

“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” “No, it’s— Alright.” Carmen closes his eyes, hand over his face, deciding this is not the fight he wants to choose. “Tony’s getting dinner with you?”

“If I’m allowed, your fuckin’ Majesty.”

If it were up to Carmen? He wouldn’t be. But you specifically asked. Why, he has no idea. Carmen crosses his arms. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine. Just start at like, a not peak time. Like 4:30? Then when rush starts after 5 Fak’ll have a lil' momentum.”

“Heard. I’ll tell ‘em.” Richie nods, turning to make his way out.

Carm’s leg bounces, a tick that he’s pretty sure he’ll never get rid of. “… Ey Rich?”

He stops, turning back to Carmy, “Yeah, cousin?”

Carmen taps the end of the sharpie on the table, not looking at Richie, “What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?”

Ever so slightly, Richie’s brows furrow. “Did'j'ya ask her?”

Carm shakes his head, “S’why I’m asking you.”

Richie takes a beat, head rocking to the side, “Y'should ask her, she’ll tell you.”

Carmy squints, at that, “Is it fuckin’ dark or somethin’, cousin?”

What’s so secretive about Chip? He figured it would be some stupid inside joke with chocolate chips, like Sug with the salt mix up. Richie swallows, frowning just a bit. He clearly does not know how to answer this question, which just makes Carmen even more curious.

“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” Since when the fuck did Richie have respect for personal? Probably since he sent him to stage. Goddammit.

“Did you not coin it?”

“Mikey did.”

Oh.

Huh.

Mikey got to do that first, too, eh?

“But, y’know, ask her, she likes you well enough to tell you, I think.” Richie shrugs, palms out. “Kinda tells stories like that better than me, anyways.” That's high praise— Not in the sense that Richie's a great storyteller, but that he's willing to admit it, for you.

“Oh, she doesn’t bury the fuckin’ lead?”

“Oh, fuck you.” But it’s true, so Richie’s amused. There’s something nice, about being known. Even if it’s to tease.

There’s a lull of silence. Quite frankly, Carmen’s hoping that Richie’s general disdain of silence will force him to confess your nickname backstory, just to fill the void. It doesn’t. Instead, it just gears him up, in the worst way, able to read the look on Carmen’s face.

“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. Carmen groans. Oh dear god, why him. “Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.”

“Shut the fuck up, Rich—”

“Aye, Chip’s a real catch, I gettit— Works hard, plays nice, cleans up good— Y’have my blessing.”

“Didn’t ask for it.”

“Aye,” Richie snaps his fingers, pointing at Carmen like he could smite him. “Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right? One bad word from me, n’ your lil’ fantasy—” He gestures an explosion with his hand, making a ‘pop’ sound with his lips.

“Gone, cousin.”

Carmen leans back in his seat, playing with the sharpie in his hand. He’s essentially Kubrick staring down Richie, but the guy is unaffected. “Friday, 4:30, two hours. If Fak fucks up, you’re on deck.”

“Heard.”

“Jeff, can I please get an all day, baby?” Baby is Tina’s new HR approved version of ‘for the love of fucking god’ She’s definitely at her limit, meaning Syd’s definitely at her limit on expo. Richie starts to step out, walking backwards.

“You comin’ cousin?”

Carm scratches his nose, straightening up back to his desk. He wishes he could go back to the kitchen, where he knows he’s good, instead of in here, with some goddamn spreadsheets that he cannot comprehend beyond bad. “Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.”

Richie nods, tapping the doorway on his way out. “Heard… g’luck.”

Carmen does not look at the spreadsheets. No. He thinks. He doesn't think about business.

That wasn’t true, was it? A phone call from Richie wouldn’t be the end of him, end of you, would it? Carmen is on the losing playing field here, practically everyone here has more history with you than he does. If he had a… lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? God, even his work family ruins things for him. Or could. Which means they will. Catastrophizing.

Whatever. What the fuck ever. He needs to find your invoice. After some flipping through last month’s file, he finds a sticky note from Sug between loose pages.

‘reminder: ask carmy 4 tony invoice’

He squints. You said Nat took care of it. Maybe it’s an old sticky note, he’ll text her about it, it’ll be a solid forty hours before he’ll get a response, anyways. Mom stuff. He really needs to go visit his niece again, soon. Maybe this weekend. Take Richie’s car. But then he'll probably will be forced to take Richie, too. Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice.

Yeah. Yeah. He’ll ask you on Friday, when you come for dinner. He grabs a pad of paper, biting the cap off his sharpie. He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday.

He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday.

Tomorrow, you’ll be getting dinner with Richie, and it’ll be the worst Friday of your life.

But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear. You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed.

One big white canvas.

Nine perfect squares, perfectly equidistant from each other at all angles.

Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated.

Each image, something new. Starting at the top left, it’s The Original Beef. Then, the inside. Then the booths.

Then the second row, the sandwiches, held in hands.

The center photo. You've taken almost all of these photos on a disposable from yesteryear, but this is the one you like the most.

Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times.

Both specifically the one’s that mentioned Carmen, winning Best Chef and the James Beard.

Mikey was so proud. So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. No one does. You hope this piece will act as the catalyst for you to be able to talk about the elephant in the room you’ve yet to open for him.

Right next to Mikey, is a balloon on a pipe— A photo you grabbed from Sydney and printed. You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test. C’est la vie. Fak got to prove himself.

And on the last row, the new, ritzy, booths. The Seven Fishes dish— Also a photo you stole from Sydney. And finally, The Bear’s sign. Taken at night, lit up in all its neon glory.

Though the images are disconnected, starting from Mikey in the center— Clean, the flaring and staining grows more intense at the pictures in the corner. Just bordering on illegible. It all feels interconnected, woven.

It’s Carmen. Or, at least, you think it is. That’s what you were trying to achieve. You took inspiration from the way his brain works, the way he cooks messy but produces orderly, the way he’s grown something out of what was barely more than nothing. The way love and grief is at the center of everything. He’s awfully inspiring.

You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, you’ll probably have a little time to talk, on Friday. You won’t be able to get into everything, no, you’ve promised most of your bandwidth to Richie, but you’ll make a good start, on Friday.

You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday.

Tomorrow.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

i've still got 2k of beats to cover for the next chapter, and have 7.9k already written out, for it. This is going to be fun. lmao. I'm genuinely very very excited for you to see it, when it comes out. Cannot believe I thought like 4 chapters ago that'd this next chapter would be the one to be released next. I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter, I would never forgive myself if i went through with that plan, fr.

Anyways, no time for the future, this is NOW!! I hope I described Tony's paintin' good. I think it'd be nice. MBMBAM reference in the intro, are you fucking HAUNTED? ARE YOU FUCKING POSESSED? Love griffy, had to. Carmen CANNOT stop having anxiety attacks, someone get him on prozac frfr.

Tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my hat, I'm gonna need some words to chew on while I write, anyways. Hitting a wall choreographing this back half of chapter ten my GOD. Also oh yeah, silly aesthetic thing. I dunno if anyone noticed or cared, but i do a different ombre banner when it's carmen's perspec-- Did it last chapter too, aint that cute?

Also, I must finally give in, I was lazy to do taglists, but have folded, so here u are mfs. If you'd like to be added, you gotta leave me an essay somewhere. It's the RULES! Well, leave an essay and also ask to be added to the taglist that is but IT'S THE RULES!!

@anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @slut4supersoldiers @sinceweremutual @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101

fully added people that never asked to be on here, you're just like, top fans, so i thought it would be nice, but if you WANT TO BE TAKEN OFF LET ME KNOW I'LL DO IT IMMEDIATELY ALSO IF I'M FORGETTING ANYONE WHO ASKED PLEASE DO REMIND ME

Next Part

[lavascularspecialists]

Stride Confidently: Managing Diabetic Footwear in Los Angeles and Post-Thrombotic Syndrome Treatment through Exercise

 Enhancing Mobility and Wellness: A Comprehensive Guide to Diabetic Footwear and Post-Thrombotic Syndrome Exercise in Los Angeles

In the bustling streets of Los Angeles, where every step counts, individuals managing diabetes and post-thrombotic syndrome face unique challenges. post thrombotic syndrome treatment exercise From ensuring proper foot care to addressing the complications of vascular health, the journey towards wellness requires attention to detail and tailored solutions. This comprehensive guide delves into the importance of diabetic footwear in Los Angeles and the role of exercise in post-thrombotic syndrome treatment, empowering individuals to stride confidently towards better health.

Diabetic Shoes in Los Angeles: Stepping Towards Comfort and Safety

Living with diabetes necessitates meticulous attention to foot health. The risk of foot ulcers, neuropathy, and poor circulation underscores the importance of wearing appropriate footwear. In the vibrant metropolis of Los Angeles, where the pace is fast and the streets unforgiving, finding the right diabetic shoes becomes imperative for maintaining mobility and preventing complications.

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[lilsdesk]

Ketamine Clinic are Reshaping Mental Health in Los Angeles

Step into a realm of innovative mental health care at the Ketamine Clinic in Los Angeles. This cutting-edge facility offers a transformative approach to treatment, utilizing ketamine infusion therapy to address conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain. Under the guidance of experienced professionals, patients find a compassionate and personalized journey towards mental well-being. The clinic's state-of-the-art facilities and commitment to patient comfort ensure a supportive environment for those seeking relief from the burdens of mental health challenges. With a focus on individualized care plans and the latest advancements in ketamine therapy, the Ketamine Clinic in Los Angeles stands at the forefront of progressive mental health treatments.

A New Dawn of Mental Wellness in LA

In the bustling metropolis of Los Angeles, a paradigm shift in mental health care is underway with the advent of Ketamine Clinic los angeles . This section serves as an introduction to the innovative landscape of ketamine therapy, exploring the unique approach and cutting-edge treatments that these clinics bring to the forefront of mental wellness in the City of Angels.

The Rise of Ketamine Infusion Therapy

Delve into the evolution of mental health treatments with a focus on Ketamine Infusion Therapy. Unravel the reasons behind the growing popularity of this non-traditional approach and how it is reshaping the mental health care narrative in Los Angeles. From depression to anxiety, discover how ketamine infusion therapy offers a beacon of hope for those seeking transformative solutions.

Why Ketamine Clinics Stand Out?

Explore the unique advantages that set Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles apart in the realm of mental health care. This section examines the city's dynamic environment, the expertise of healthcare professionals, and the personalized approach to patient well-being that collectively contribute to making these clinics stand out as beacons of progressive mental health care.

A Day in the Life at a Los Angeles Ketamine Clinic

The shoes of individuals seeking mental health support as they embark on a day in the life at a Ketamine Clinic in Los Angeles. From arrival to infusion sessions and post-treatment care, this segment provides a firsthand glimpse into the patient journey, emphasizing the compassionate and supportive environment that defines the clinic experience.

How Ketamine Clinics Reshape Mental Wellness Services?

The ways in which Ketamine Clinics actively contribute to the innovation of mental wellness services in Los Angeles. From state-of-the-art facilities to groundbreaking research initiatives, explore the dynamic landscape where innovation meets compassionate care, fostering a renewed sense of hope for those navigating mental health challenges.

Ketamine Clinics' Impact on Mental Health in Los Angeles

Hear the voices of individuals whose lives have been transformed by the impact of Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles. Through real-life success stories, this section sheds light on the tangible and positive outcomes experienced by patients, emphasizing the clinic's role as a catalyst for change and a source of renewed hope in the journey towards mental well-being.

Comprehensive Services Offered by Ketamine Clinics

The holistic approach to mental health care provided by Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles. This segment delves into the comprehensive services offered, including therapy integration, psychological support, and the integration of mindfulness practices, providing a well-rounded and patient-centric approach to mental wellness.

The Ongoing Role of Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles

As the landscape of mental health care continues to evolve, this section looks to the future, examining how Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles are poised to play a pivotal role. From ongoing research initiatives to community outreach, explore how these clinics are actively shaping the future of mental wellness in the vibrant cityscape of Los Angeles.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles stand as beacons of innovation, compassion, and transformative care in the realm of mental wellness. With a commitment to reshaping traditional approaches, these clinics have introduced a new dawn of hope for individuals navigating mental health challenges. From groundbreaking treatments like ketamine infusion therapy to a holistic and patient-centric environment, the clinics offer a unique blend of cutting-edge practices and personalized care. As success stories unfold and the ripple effects of positive outcomes resonate, the role of Ketamine Clinics in Los Angeles becomes increasingly integral, shaping not only the present but also the future of mental health care in this dynamic cityscape.

[off-page-activities]

LA's Top Shoe Care: Quality Repairs for Footwear & Accessories

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[organizedbyginger]

Transform Your Living Space with the Help of a Home Organizing Consultant

Simplify Your Space: Professional Space Organizer Services for Streamlined Living: Experience the transformative power of a clutter-free and organized environment with our professional space organizer services. Our expert organizers bring efficiency and aesthetic appeal to your space, ensuring that every room becomes a harmonious blend of functionality and style. Simplify your life with our tailored solutions for a more organized and stress-free living space.

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Home Harmony: Consult with a Home Organizing Consultant for Expert Advice: Embark on a journey to create a harmonious home with the guidance of our home organizing consultants. Whether you're starting from scratch or looking to revitalize your current space, our consultants offer personalized advice and strategies to optimize your home's organization. Achieve a balanced and inviting atmosphere with the expertise of our home organizing consultants.

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[lamodemens]

“Elevating Your Style: A Comprehensive Guide to Gentlemen’s Fashion – La Mode Men’s”

Introduction :

Gentlemen style is more than just clothing; it’s a reflection of sophistication, poise, and timeless elegance. At La Mode Men’s, we understand the significance of embracing a gentleman’s approach to fashion. In this article, we embark on a journey into the world of gentlemen’s style, exploring its essence, key components, grooming tips, and the crucial role it plays in modern fashion. From tailored suits to impeccable grooming and beyond, La Mode Men’s offers insights to help you elevate your style with confidence, ensuring you exude a refined and distinguished aura in every aspect of your life.

The Essence of Gentlemen Style :

Defining gentleman style: We’ll delve into the core principles of gentleman style, emphasizing values like respect, confidence, and attention to detail. A historical perspective: We’ll explore how gentlemen’s fashion has evolved over time, from Victorian era dandies to modern interpretations of classic style.

Building the Gentleman’s Wardrobe :

Tailored Suits: We’ll discuss the significance of well-fitted suits, highlighting their role in projecting confidence and professionalism. Classic Shirts: We’ll delve into the importance of crisp dress shirts, emphasizing their versatility and timeless appeal. Accessories: We’ll explore the world of accessories, from ties and pocket squares to cufflinks and watches, showcasing how they elevate your look. Footwear: We’ll discuss the role of quality leather shoes in a gentleman’s wardrobe, emphasizing craftsmanship and comfort.

Grooming and Personal Care :

Haircare: We’ll offer insights into hairstyling and grooming tips, ensuring that your hair complements your overall look. Beard Maintenance: We’ll provide guidance on beard care, discussing trimming, shaping, and grooming products. Skincare: We’ll emphasize the importance of a skincare routine, addressing common concerns like acne, aging, and sun protection. Fragrance: We’ll explore the world of fine fragrances, explaining how to choose and apply cologne for a lasting impression.

Mastering the Art of Etiquette :

Dining Etiquette: We’ll discuss essential dining etiquette, from table manners to wine pairing, ensuring you’re comfortable in formal settings. Social Grace: We’ll explore the importance of social grace, including proper introductions, conversation skills, and polite gestures. Professional Conduct: We’ll emphasize professionalism in the workplace, discussing attire, communication, and leadership.

Confidence and Demeanor :

Building Confidence: We’ll provide tips on boosting self-confidence, emphasizing the connection between self-assuredness and personal style. Demeanor and Body Language: We’ll discuss the role of body language, posture, and eye contact in projecting a gentleman’s aura.

Traveling in Style :

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[volturiwolf]

Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Haven't Been Caught - A Quil Ateara x fem!Reader Imagine

That's a small story for Quil who is always overlooked, but we stan all of the wolfpack here (almost)

Based on the song "Good Girls" (previously known as "Good Girls are Bad Girls that haven't been caught") by 5SOS

She's a good girl, she's daddy's favorite

He's saved for Harvard (he knows she'll make it)

She's good at school, she's never truant

She can speak French (I think she's fluent)

Quil’s POV

(Y/N) was the perfect girl. Beautiful, confident, ambitious, probably the best student you could ever come across. She was quiet; she never got into trouble; she was always participating in extracurricular activities, and she always volunteered for every project that was happening around the school, La Push, and Forks.

She was known for being a goody-two-shoes, never going against authorities, never objecting to the teachers. She always arrived 20 minutes before the first bell, just to check her books once again, having small talks with the teachers who all seemed to adore her. She was the easiest person to get around with, always willing to help everyone, whether that was homework, advice, or money.

She was the pride of her family, the golden kid, their future. Her parents were always praising her, and always bragging to others about their daughter’s achievements. Her father wanted her to attend Harvard, being one of the prestigious colleges in the country. (Y/N) could definitely attend Harvard, having achieved perfect scores, and with a rich background in athletics, volunteering, and languages.

Apart from English, (Y/N) could speak German, Italian, Spanish, and Greek, but her favorite language was French, which she spoke fluently. She had an affinity for learning new languages and learning about different cultures. In my eyes, she was the perfect girl for me.

But that meant I could not get close to her. I could only look at her from afar. I was a good student too - probably one of the best around, but (Y/N) was the best among everyone. I had my circles and friendships, but not (Y/N)’s friends or personality. For her being the best student around, she was also extremely sociable and friendly. (Y/N) was a good girl.

Something which shocked me beyond comprehension was when she started hanging out with one of the worst guys around. Damian was probably the worst guy I had ever seen. He was a bully, a gang member, the worst guy you could ever meet. Yet, (Y/N) saw the best in him. She was always hanging around him, laughing and having genuine fun with him. She would tease him all the time, and he would go crazy for her, licking his lips and all. 

I was disgusted; (Y/N) deserved someone better, someone sweet and caring to treat her like the queen she was, not someone who she should have avoided all along. And she wouldn’t see that she didn’t need Damian in her life. They weren’t really a couple, but there was definitely something going on between them, though (Y/N) would always remain the sweet, pure girl she had always been. I just wanted him to leave her alone; he wasn’t a good influence to have around, and I was worried about (Y/N) following his ways. 

'Cause every night, she studies hard in her room

At least that's what her parents assume

But she sneaks out the window to meet with her boyfriend

Here's what she told me, the time that I caught her

She said to me, "Forget what you thought

'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught

So just turn around and forget what you saw

'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught"

(Y/N) lived a couple of hundred feet away from my own house. (Y/N) would never go out at night; she would never go out on the weekends. She would always spend her nights studying in her room, until late at the night. She would start early in the afternoon, have dinner in between, and then study until 1 or 2 am. (Y/N) was only focused on school, and she was aiming high.

Her parents were worried about her, sleeping late and waking up early, but she would always convince them that she was doing fine and that she had to make a few sacrifices if she wanted to get into a good college. Her parents were satisfied with her attitude, believing their daughter was a good girl who only focused on school. But, that’s what they thought. Because I knew that wasn’t true at all.

I was out late one night, patrolling around the area. I was really tempted to see how (Y/N) was doing. I imagined her focused on her books, studying under her desk lamp, writing and studying her notes, and solving complicated math problems. I couldn’t help myself, so I decided to go by her house, and look at her from afar.

Before I could even come close enough to see her through her window, I heard a small window open, and a few rattles. I hid behind a bush and looked closer, to find out it was (Y/N), leaving the house through her bedroom window. She was all dressed up, makeup on, with a few bracelets and an intoxicating perfume emitting from her body.

She turned around to look at me and then smiled and winked. Everything around me narrowed around her as if she was in the center of my new galaxy. I could not see anything but her; she was the only thing that mattered to me at that moment. It took me a few moments to realize I had imprinted on her.

When I came back from my vision, (Y/) was standing right in front of me, looking at me with worry and curiosity. “Quil? Are you okay? You zoned out for a few minutes and I got worried.” 

“You… You know my name?” 

She chuckled. “Of course I do, Quil. Now tell me, what are you doing here?”

“I…” I had to think about something quickly. “I was out walking. I have terrible insomnia, and walking really helps me sleep at night. Then I heard a small commotion around your house and I thought someone was trying to break in. I got scared, so I hid behind the bush.”

“Oh, okay. Don’t worry. It was just me.” She quickly took her phone out of her purse and looked at the time. “Oh, I have to go now, or I’ll be running late.”

“Wait! It is quite late. Where are you going?” I sounded, and probably also looked, worried.

“I’m going out with my boyfriend. He’s waiting for me at his house, and then we’ll go out. I don’t know where yet.” She smiled.

I was shocked. “Wait. What? Why are you going out? I thought you would be studying at this time. I… I... I don’t know what to say.” I was clueless and lost. “I thought you were supposed to be a “good girl”, you know?”

She took my hand in hers, and I could swear I felt my heart flying away. “Quil, don’t believe anything you hear. I think you should forget what you thought, ‘cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught. I think I may be one of these girls; being a goody-two-shoes to everyone’s eyes, but a rebel at heart. Please, do me a favor, just turn around and forget what you saw, and maybe, just maybe we could hang out a few times. You seem like a cool guy.” She smiled again and kissed my cheek lightly before walking away.

I could only stand still and watch her mesmerized, as she walked away to meet her lover, who, sadly, wasn’t me. 

She's a good girl, a straight A-student

She's really into all that self-improvement

(I swear she lives in that library)

But if you ask her, she'll say, "That's where you'll find me"

But if you look then you won't find her there

She may be clever, but she just acts too square

'Cause in the back of the room where nobody looks (nobody looks)

She'll be with her boyfriend (she's not reading books)

Another day, another A for (Y/N). Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. All the teachers called her a role model for everyone else, but she insisted that grades do not matter as much as character and personality do. She certainly had both in surplus, but maybe that was just the imprinting talking.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her. (Y/N) was too good for me, she was too good for everyone, and, especially, too good for Damian. Yet, she somehow could not spend a moment without him. She was with him on our lunch break, sitting on his lap and cuddling; she was with him during our study break, at the back of the library where nobody could see them, making out and cuddling.

I was so jealous of Damian for being with (Y/N) all the time; for being able to cuddle, touch, and kiss her. I wanted to be with her; to be able to do all these things with her; to show her a world she would have never imagined. I didn’t want to force her into this world, so I decided I wouldn’t tell her anything unless I had to.

The pack was always nagging and pushing me to tell her, but I wouldn’t do it. It had to be with her own conscience and her own will. If she ever felt the same way I feel for her, then she would come to me. I could only wait, hoping that she would see and would come to me. 

She said to me, "Forget what you thought

'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught

So just turn around and forget what you saw

'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught

Day after day, it became harder to stay away from (Y/N). We would occasionally spend time together at school or be partnered up in projects together, but it wasn’t enough for me. It didn’t feel right to stay away from her, even if I couldn’t get close to her. She was with someone else, and, as long as she was happy, I was happy with her.

And days would go by like this: me wishing (Y/N) was mine, and (Y/N) being with someone else. Though, lately, she seemed sadder and lonelier than before, and I was wondering if Damian did anything to upset her, as she did not spend as much time with him as she did before, at least in front of others. 

I was really curious to know, so when we partnered up one day for a Physics project, I gained enough courage to ask her. “Hey, (Y/N), don’t misunderstand me, but has anything happened between you and Damian? You don’t seem fine lately. Has he done anything to you?

“Quil, I...” Her mouth trembled, and her eyes started watering.

“Hey, hey! You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t feel like saying anything. I’m really sorry for asking.” I tried to sympathize with her, caressing her hand.

“It’s not that. I do want to talk with you. It’s just… Lately, I’ve been feeling some way about someone else, and I couldn’t keep on doing this with Damian anymore. He looks like a scary guy but he’s a good person deep down. I couldn’t stay with him when I was only thinking about a different guy. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or me.”

My heart sunk. Her mind was already in someone else. “Oh, yeah. That was nice of you. So, how are you feeling after the break-up? Are you okay? Do you need some time? We can stop now with the project and you can go home if you’d like that.”

“No, no. I like it here. I like taking my mind off of everything by focusing on homework. I like spending time with you.” She smiled shyly. (Y/N) was never shy. 

Something sparked in me, an unfound confidence, and I leaned in to kiss her on the lips. I thought she would pull away, but after a small shock, she kissed me back harder than I did, and caressed my cheek with her hand. After a few minutes, we pulled away to breathe.

“Just in case you haven’t realized it yet, you are the guy I’ve been constantly thinking about.” She leaned in to kiss me once again, and all I could think about was…

Good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught

[dontshootmespence]

Through It All

Part 26

Summary: Now married, Spencer & Y/N navigate the D/s lifestyle. How will their relationship change?

Words: 1,083

Warnings: None

A/N: Fluffffff

Now she wants all the control. It feels like you and Spencer are doing twice the laundry because she wants to feed herself, but she’s a total mess. At first, the mess bothered Spencer - he likes his things neat and tidy and in the right place - but eventually he just let it go and even started joining in messy eating just for the fun of it.

Charlotte even wants to pick her own clothes and help herself get dressed, which is difficult when you’re in a rush and just need her to put her legs in the leg holes and fucking move, but you let her do as much as she can anyway. You want to foster an independent little girl who’ll ask for help when she needs it. Thankfully, today is a slow day. It’s a Saturday and your only plans are to go get her some new clothes because she’s growing out of her 18-month clothes already.

When Spencer brings her outside, you hide your laugh. She’s chosen a pair of bright blue sweatpants and an orange shirt with pink shoes and a purple hat. “Ready to go, Charlie?”

You and Spencer gulp down the rest of your morning coffees, which are now cold and grab a banana for the trip to the store. “You want one?” Spencer asks her.

“Nanner!”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughs, scooping her into his arms. “Away we go!”

----

In the store, Charlotte  takes the lead, bringing you in all different directions. Sometimes it’s toys. Sometimes it’s bikes. Sometimes it’s food. Eventually, after saying hello to everyone she passes with a tiny little wave, you find yourselves in the clothing sections. First, she drifts toward the ‘boys’ section and grabs a shirt with Mario and Yoshi on it because ‘dino,’ before quickly grabbing a shirt with Captain America’s shield on it, probably because she recognizes the one you wear at home.

After sauntering through the boys’ section and trying (with varying degrees of success) to instill in her that she couldn’t buy everything in the store, Spencer runs with her to the girls’ section, careening the shopping cart in and out of aisles like a madman. But she’s loving it, so you just shout at them to be careful, stopping long the way to get her a new pair of sneakers and a pair of slippers that look a lot like Spencer’s that she loves to try and steal.

When you finally catch up, you see Spencer holding up two different dresses, telling her to pick one. “I figure every two things she picks up she can choose one.”

“Sounds good,” you reply. “Probably more comprehensible for a 20-month-old to choose between two things rather than ‘you can’t have everything.’”

“Exactly.”

With Spencer’s method, she makes a few choices of her own - a rainbow pastel dress, light green sweatpants, a pink sweatshirt and a sparkly green dress with Ariel on it - and then chooses between some outfits that you and Spencer pick out. You make it a game to see which one of you can put together the best outfit, best in this case meaning Charlotte picks it over the other. Spencer wins twice and you win once. Then Spencer sticks his tongue out.

“Is she the 20-month-old or are you?” You laugh.

He sing-songs that he won as he carts her out of the aisle and toward the food section for the few staples you need to pick up. Charlotte asks for Daddy to ‘race’ again, and Spencer’s more than happy to oblige, using a few empty aisles to just run the cart in circles for a few minutes while you answer your phone.

Minnie’s warm voice floats over you. “Hello, dear. How are you and Spencer doing?”

“We’re doing okay. Just taking Charlotte for some new clothes.”

“Well, I have some news for you. You’ve been chosen again.”

“Really?” Your hearts races a mile a minute as you flag Spencer down and beckon him to come over. “Who is she? How far along is she?”

Spencer’s mouth drops open, his breath hitching in his throat. You’re both afraid of getting your hopes up again, but you also can’t help the excitement. Charlotte’s too busy with a sparkly heart wand she found to care, plus you and Spencer made an agreement not to say anything until you were reasonably sure your birth mother was in this for the long haul.

“Well, she’s 19. She and her boyfriend are both in agreement on this and they both love your profile. They’re on their way to prestigious universities and they don’t think they can be great parents and great students at the same time. You and Spencer could meet them both. She’s been with us since she found out at just five weeks. She’s 10 weeks along now. But there’s a catch.” Her voice trails off and your heart sinks and rises in quick succession. You can hear her smile.

“What’s the catch?” You ask.

Spencer quirks an eyebrow and he’s white-knuckling the handle of the shopping cart.

“She’s having twins. And she insists they be adopted together.”

“Twins?!”

The mixture of excitement and undeniable fear makes you want to vomit. Two at once? “Now, I know this is a big commitment. Two at once is no joke, but I wanted to let you know so that you and Spencer could talk it over. Do you think it’s something you’re interested in?”

You spoke softly, trying to still the quiver in your voice. “I think so. Spence and I need to talk things over. We can call you back in a couple of days?”

“Absolutely. If you have any questions let me know.”

A quick goodbye and she disconnects the call, leaving you to stare in amazement at your husband. “Twins. Spence, two of them? Can we do that?”

“Why not?” His smile is a mile wide. As he tousles Charlotte’s hair, tears well in his eyes. “I mean there would be an increased financial burden, but I think we could handle it, especially with the flexibility in my work schedule. I could add online classes too. I’m sure your parents could help us those first few months. And I know Penelope and Luke, Emily, JJ and Will, they’d all help us with babysitting.”

“Are we gonna have twins?” You ask, a sob bubbling up from your toes.

Spencer pulls you close and kisses the top of your head. “I think we’re having twins.”

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[mariephillipswriter]

Square Eyes

Do they still say that if you watch too much television you'll get square eyes? Or is that an expression that went out of fashion when kids started spending all their time in front of the internet? Putting aside the obvious riposte (televisions aren't square, they're rectangular) I can report that I have been doing extensive research in this area and have come to the scientific conclusion: no, you won't. I have been watching so much television. SO MUCH TELEVISION. I never believed that I could watch such an immense quantity of television. On the whole I don't watch it during the day except for sometimes when I am having my breakfast and also when having my lunch, but in the evenings, when I have finished pretending to work, I might start watching television at about 6pm, or 5pm, or 4pm on a bad day, and keep going until, say, 11pm or midnight. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. HOW CAN A PERSON LIVE THIS WAY. Well it's easy enough, it turns out, if you're under lockdown in London in December and it's dark from 4pm and raining most of the time and you have the emotional resources of a gnat and reading is too demanding and talking on the phone is too exhausting and the light in the living room is not good enough for doing a puzzle in evening hours and you quit social media a month or so ago because it was driving you out of your mind with anxiety. I don't watch six or seven or eight hours of television every night. Don't be ridiculous. Some nights I only watch about three hours of television because I have a Zoom call or I'm cooking dinner or I've got stuck into a good cryptic crossword, maybe the Saturday Times Jumbo one because the Guardian ones are too gimmicky, or at last I've found a book gripping yet easy enough that I can't put it down (thank you Robert Galbraith, thank you Marian Keyes), but I would say that three hours is the minimum and my god that is a LOT. EVERY DAY. THREE HOURS. MINIMUM. But you don't need to me to explain that to you because you are all watching three four five six seven hours of television every day and when you are not watching television you are phoning your friends and first of all talking about the specific way that your own personal lockdown is terrible but then eventually saying 'what are you watching on television' because what else is there even to talk about? At the start of lockdown there was quite a small pool of television that everyone was watching (that thing about the Tiger King, which I didn't watch because by the time I got back from my early lockdown in Costa Rica you'd all seen it, and Normal People which I didn't watch because I was too embarassed to sit through all the sex scenes with my flatmates, and I May Destroy You, which I didn't watch because about five minutes of it was enough to send me into a massive panic spiral, but I hear was very good), but once we had all (other than me) got through that and Covid dragged on for months, our conversations began taking on the tenor of Vikings crowding around one another as a boat returns from a foray, WHAT IS OUT THERE, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT THERE, IS THERE SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT I MIGHT DESIRE? And the Viking says yes, there is this thing called Schitts Creek but you really have to push on through the first season because I promise you it gets better and better and you will start to love that obnoxious family. And then we all watched Schitts Creek. (Including me, it's wonderful, you have to push on through the first series you will start to love that obnoxious family, Dan Levy is a divinity in human form and if you want more of him you could do worse than checking out the lesbian Christmas-themed romcom Happiest Season, which you can rent from Amazon Prime.) And now we are beyond even that and all our lives resonate with the screeching sound of a televisual barrel being scraped and now this is when things get really interesting (or put another way, VERY VERY BORING) because everyone has fractured and we are all watching different kinds of random stuff found in the dusty corners and unloved algorithms of our streaming services. There's the friend who has got into watching obscure French crime series on Netflix (The Chalet! La Mante!) and the friend who is watching every episode of Poirot on Britbox (thirteen series, 70 episodes) (though that pales in comparison with the friend who did a total rewatch of Friends from beginning to end (236 episodes) and finished it ages ago and is starving for more) and the friend who calls me up seemingly every week with a new old show nobody else has ever heard of (such as the early 1990s Nigel Havers and Warren Clarke comedy spy drama Sleepers, which he is watching old-school-style on DVD, and which apparently is like The Americans only with Nigel Havers and funny, and also, you should watch The Americans.) When I look back on the amount of television I have watched this year it defies comprehension. There were the things I would have watched anyway like the whole of Strictly Come Dancing and His Dark Materials, and the things that took me by surprise, like the stealthily hilarious Danny Dyer gameshow The Wall that was on straight after Strictly and drove me into a total obsession with the way that Danny Dyer says "Drop 'Em" (he's talking about the balls that are dropped down the wall, it's hard to explain, you can find it on iPlayer, but meanwhile if you only click on one link in this whole newsletter PLEASE click on that one), there were the things that were created especially to get me through lockdown (the wonderful David Tennant and Michael Sheen Zoom comedy Staged, which is not only extremely funny but allows you to see inside David Tennant's house which I'm not sure I am technically allowed to watch because of the restraining order? Anyway, new series coming on Monday, fellow DT fans) and the familiar things I watched to soothe me when it all got too much (Doctor Who, starting before Tennant even gets in on the action, right at the begining of the New Who seasons with Christopher Eccleston, because armchair space travel is the only kind of travel we are going to be getting for a while) and the exciting things I watched when I could no longer bear the tedious repetition of every identical day (Line of Duty, in which the famous-for-the-far-inferior Bodyguard writer Jed Mercurio delivers ludicrously compelling twisty-turny stories about police corruption that cannot be predicted for even a nanosecond) and the things that I watched just because I loved them (Fosse/Verdon, the Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon bio-series starring the breathtakingly charismatic Sam Rockwell and Michelle Williams, which is one of the best-made pieces of television I've ever seen, Love Life, the Anna Kendrick romantic comedy series which was surprisingly touching and truthful about the relationships that make up a life and which didn't make me want to open a vein as a single person the way that many looking-for-love shows do, and Better Things, a sort-of-comedy sort-of-drama written, directed by and starring Pamela Adlon, which began as a collaboration with Louis CK and initially reflected the sensibility of his show Louie, but became far more experimental and interesting once, after CK's disgrace, Adlon took over completely - the fourth series is maybe the closest thing I've seen on TV to a representation of the rhythms of real life, with long scenes of Adlon just cooking a meal on her own, or contemplating the rain, of having arguments with her children that explode from nowhere and end just as suddenly with tears or laughter or nothing at all.) And this entire paragraph is just things that I have watched on the BBC. Not even everything that I have watched on the BBC. The BBC is INCREDIBLE and my license fee has been serious value for money, before you even count all that time spent watching the news [Munch Scream emoji]. But overall, it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of television that I have watched this year. Though while we're here, have you noticed that sometimes it's more relaxing to watch something bad than something good? Have you noticed that a vapid, cliched show like Virgin River (heartbroken city nurse with a secret moves to small town and falls in love with battle-wounded bartender with a secret), a show that makes This Is Us look like Succession, has the same effect on your brain that taking off your work shoes and putting on your slippers has for your feet? You can rest now, it says, there is nothing more for you to do. Have you noticed how easy it is to chug down, say, four episodes in a row of Designated Survivor - a show designed by a committee charged with taking elements of The West Wing, Homeland and 24, and making something similar but, crucially, much more ridiculous - without your mind even noticing that anything has happened at all? And if you're really ready for something utterly idiotic, might I suggest The Bold Type, in which three twentysomething girls in bonkers designer outfits "work" at an aspirationally "feminist" glossy magazine, and by "work" I mean constantly leave the office in the middle of the day to take care of personal business, and by "feminist" I mean "empowering women by for example having them post selfies of themselves looking perfect but without makeup on social media", a feminism so very feminist that they called the magazine's parent company Steinem in the first series and then had to change it to Safford, I can only presume because Gloria Steinem threatened to sue them. A couple of episodes of that is the televisual equivalent of having a nice relaxing full frontal lobotomy. Don't get me wrong: I love these shows. I owe them more gratitude than I can say. I would be unable to survive without them. I've managed to watch five hours of television just since starting this post24 hours ago (three episodes of Doctor Who, half a really cheap and very bad Sky Arts documentary about the musical Hamilton, and a travelogue in which Torvill and Dean go in search of a frozen lake in Alaska on which to dance Bolero but can't find one for almost the entire show because of global warming, which made me simultaneously and conflictingly want to give up air travel, fly to Alaska immediately, become obsessed with Torvill and Dean AND wonder how they managed to skate together all these decades without killing each other especially Torvill but also especially Dean). Five hours of TV, sounds like a lot, but with eight hours of sleep, that still left me eleven hours to fill in this boring boring boring boring BORING BORING BORING boring boring BORING boring BORING BORING lockdown. I think I am being incredibly restrained, all things considered. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some time to kill, having finished writing this post, and with at least five hours to fill before bed. I wonder what's on TV?

***

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[eternally-drifting]

La Mariachi (Kim Seokjin/Jin FF) 1

“I don’t know how you did it, but you’ve made this foreigner, immensely in love with you - to the point I don’t ever want to go back to Korea. I want to stay here, with ‘La Mariachi’… with you.”

Or

A broken heart leads Seokjin into leaving Korea under the guise of taking over one of his fathers business over seas - leaving everything behind - and start over. Never did he think - that walking into a Cantina, would lead him into sharing his broken heart with the main attraction of the establishment.

KEY (please read first)

pairing: Seokjin / Jin x OC (named original character)

genre: AU, fluff, angst, comedy

word count: 2636

Masterlist

Playlist

Chapter 1/? next>

A/N: All translations - depending on how many there are - will be at the top unless stated otherwise . Also this isn’t edited so bare with me. Salud!

© This work is copyright just-slowly-drifting 2020, all rights are reserved. This fic can not be modified, re-posted or translated without my permission.

—-

“Seokjin!”

The yelling and pleading voice of a woman is heard all throughout the hallway. Echoing off the walls and tall ceiling. Joined along with the clacking of heels, and the slight squeak of black dress shoes. Trailing behind the two are three men, all calling out to the man stalking at the front.

“Seokjin, w-wait! Please stop and let me explain! P-please!” A chocked sob stops her from speaking any further. She tries to clear her eyes from the tears, wanting to catch up to him. Only to stumble on her heels as they tugged on her big, white, wedding dress.

They say that the bride is always the most beautiful woman in the room on her wedding day. She, however, looks the complete opposite. The once perfect makeup, ruined, mascara running down from her eyes, as the tears leave streaks across the foundation. Her hair falling out of place from all the running.

“Jin, calm down!” Yoongi’s voice is heard shouting from the back. It’s of no use, the man has already decided.

“Seokjin, don’t, not here in front of everyone!” Namjoon tries to reason with him. Hoping to bring some sort of logical reasoning to his mind. “Think rationally for a moment, Seokjin!” Jimin huffed as he tries to keep up with all of them as he talks on the phone to Hoseok on the other side.

“-mn, what’s wrong? Where is Jin? Everyone’s starting to look uneasy.” Jimin could hear the people in the background, no doubt wondering the exact same thing Hoseok was. The ceremony was supposed to commence an hour and half ago – and with no appearance from the groom or bride – the guests were starting to get antsy.

Spearing a glance up, he notices how little distance is between Jin and the double doors leading into the venue. Jimin’s eyes widen with panic, quickly, he rushes to warn Hoseok. “Hoseok, you, Tae, and Jungkook need to block the doors off, right now! Don’t make it too noticeable, but make sure that Seokjin doesn’t get past them!” Before Hoseok can even question him, Jimin hangs up. Sprinting towards the others as they try to hold Jin back, but it was futile.

Pushing past the double doors, blocking Jungkook’s intent on keeping him outside the venue, he calmly walks up the aisle, smiling at every individual sat in the rows confused on the situation. Reaching the alter, he turns to everyone with a ‘friendly’ smile. Looking around, he spots the man he’s looking for, the man that he so happily named his best man… his own brother.

‘Why, Daejung?’

Seokjin’s eyes sting with tears, so many emotions coursed their way through his body. He could feel the rage running through his veins and gaining control over him.

All heads turn towards the double doors a screech is heard. Everyone witnessing the bride tripping on her dress as his groom’s men try to drag her out. They struggle with trying to remove her from the sight, avoiding every swing of her arms aimed at them.

“S- seok- seokjin… let me explain, p-ple- plea-se!” Her chest heaved as she slowly tried to catch her breath.

He can see her hands profusely shaking. How her lips tremble every time she tries to talk. The only thing he can think to do is glare at her, and slowly direct it to his brother.

Everything is quiet except for the shaky breathing of the bride. No one dares to say anything, the atmosphere is so tangent, so nerve wrecking. It leaves everyone feeling like a fish out of water.

The stare down continues, and it isn’t until Daejung bites his lip, and ducking down his head down in shame.

‘At least he had the decency.’ Seokjin thought fighting a scoff.

Clearing his throat, he calls all the people’s attention. All eyes are on him, each one hold confusion and questions, wanting answers to the situation at hand. All wanting to know what ‘gossip’ they can tell everyone after this all ends.

He isn’t given much of a chance as the rest of his groom’s men come to stand in front of him. Blocking him off from the crowd. Each of them wanting to deescalate the situation at hand.

“Seokjin, please. Don’t do this here, not in front of everyone. Not in front of your parents!” Jimin could only hope that his reasoning would work in bringing Jin back into his senses. He understands, they all do. He’s hurt, and no one can blame him for feeling that; but causing a scene isn’t going to help anything.

“Why shouldn’t I?! After what these two did to me – I think it’s only fair!” His voice was filled with such venom, it sent a chill down everyone’s spine. All the men looked at each other, quickly trying to come up with a plan on calming their friend down just enough to get him out of the venue and into one of the empty rooms.

“You’re angry and we unde-“ Seokjin scoffed out a laugh, face lifting upward towards the ceiling. A sarcastic smile was etched at the corners of his lips. Shaking his head as he looked at Namjoon in the eye. They were dark, cold, and oh so emotionless. The light that once shone through them, was now eclipsed.

“No, don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say you understand, don’t dare to stand there and tell me you know what it is that I’m feeling right now! You don’t, you have absolutely no idea, about how I feel!” He was quickly shushed by everyone as he growled out.

“Out of my way.” Jin quickly shoved through his members, fixing his blazer, and clearing his throat, he calls for the guests’ attention. Completely ignoring the protests behind him and the presence beside him, he ignored the sensation of eyes burning through his head on the other end.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would first like to thank you for coming to celebrate… what would have been a very… very lovely wedding.” He jerked his arm away when he felt it being grabbed.

“Seokjin, please, let’s talk! Let me explain!” She pleaded with all her might – he could hear the desperation in her voice, and he hated to admit it; but it hurt him to hear her like that. The pain, the pain in his chest, the ache of his heart, was just too much at this point. He closes his eyes for a quick second to recompose himself.

‘It hurts, it hurts beyond my comprehension… why Young Mi?’ No, he won’t cry, not here, not in front of everyone. Not in front of them.

With his newfound determination, he was going to give them what they both want. What they have wanted from the beginning. So, he’ll be the kind and caring brother. He’ll give DaeJung what he wants, let him have what he has. Like always.

“I’m afraid that there has been a change in plans.” Young Mi had her hands pressed against her lips as begged for Jin to stop and hear her out. “Please – for one moment! Let m-“ her begging only hurt him more. Because he knew that she was only doing this to protect DaeJung.

“But seems that the groom has been replaced. Isn’t that right DaeJung?” Jin sneered as he turned to face his brother. “It appears to be that the bride and the best man are the ones that should be getting married today. Correct, Young Mi?” She looked at him with glassy, red eyes. Her lips trembled as she tightly shook her head ‘no’. All he did was watch as she mouthed out ‘please’ and ‘don’t’. Each of which made the sadistic side of him pleased with her humiliation.

“I apologize for wasting your time, but don’t worry, there will still be a wedding. The groom has just been swapped.” His eyes hardened with each word, hands clenching and unclenching. Looking back at Young Mi, his eyes focus on the ring she wears, his ring. Seeing her still wearing it, filled him with such disgust. So much so, he could feel the bile start to rise.

He reaches out for her wrist, holding it with a vice. The sudden move scared her, and she let out a yelp at the way Jin was holding onto her. She looks up at him, and instantly shrinks back into herself. Seokjin slowly leans his face down to hers, nose a hairs breath away that she stops breathing. He grabs her chin with his other hand and forces her to look him in the eyes.

“You have no use for this now.” His snarled words caused the others to attention. Jimin and Namjoon quickly coming up to the pair right as Seokjin tears his ring off her finger. Throwing it to the ground, he watches as Young Mi bends down, crawling to reach the ring before it could roll any further. Scoffing, he turns marching towards his brother.

He didn’t get far with Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok blocking his way. “Move!” Try as he may, he couldn’t really push past the youngest. He could hear all the gasps from the crowd as Jungkook held him back from strangling his brother to death. “Stop it Jin, it’s not worth it!” Jungkook whispered.

Seokjin shoved Jungkook aside and stalked up to DaeJung, getting face to face with him. Giving one last hard glare at him “You always want what I have – well – now, you can have it.” Jin bumped into DaeJung’s shoulder, making way out of the venue. Once again, followed by shouts of his name and this time, six pair of feet chasing after him.

The room was packed with instruments, guitars, violins, trumpets, etc. Each of them scattered about. The bench, lockers, chairs, and even the vanity had a trumpet or two splayed across it.

The stomping of footsteps slowly ascended in noise. Following it, could be heard the chatter and laughter of various people. The door is roughly pushed open, boots scuffling along wooden floors, espuelas clinking as they walk along.

Amongst all the laughter and cheers, there are uneasy looks spread amongst all of them. Nail biting, lip chewing, legs bouncing up and down. All indications of anxiousness.

“Oye, I’ve had enough of this beating around the bush, shit. Where is s-“

A bottle of tequila slammed down onto the vanity, causing the trumpets to shake and nearly fall. A rough voice cuts through the silence “Will you relax! Mira, she’ll be here. Calmado.” The other men in the room start protesting, being annoyed with the situation at hand, they begin to come up with ‘backup plans.’ All of which sounded just as ridiculous as the last.

“All I’m saying, is that if she doesn’t show up, we put Mejillas over there – front and center. Let all the mujeres have their way with him.” Claps and whistles burst all around as Mejillas stood up and slowly started to ‘strip’. Followed by the chanting of ‘tubo, tubo, tubo, tubo’.

Refugio leaned back against the vanity watching them all fool around, taking their minds off everything for a minute or two. Pulling out his phone, he checks the time, only for him to frustratingly tug at his hair. He doesn’t know whether he should inform them of the timing or not. Looking back at the time, he bits his lip.

‘Seis minutos left’. His eyes close, brows furrowed in frustration. They left the house together, juntos! Where is she? She doesn’t ever leave the house! So why does her little aventura, need to be tonight! Licking his lips, he breaths in deeply, ready to deliver the news that she might not be here.

“Muchachos” Clearing his throat, they all give him the undivided attention, waiting to hear what he has to say. “We might just have to use Mejillas after all.” The onslaught of groans and whines echoed within the dressing room. All Refugio could do is look down and tap his espuela on the concrete floor.

“Cuco, you sa-“ the door slammed open bouncing back from hitting the wall. With her back faced towards them, she dragged something in. Huffing, she let the rest of what was being dragged fall to the floor. Brushing off the dust on her jeans, she turns around, eyes widening when she notices the unamused looks and glares directed at her.

“Que?” She starts to make her way towards the vanity, wondering if she had anything on her face for them to look at her like that.

“Come que ‘que’. You’re late that’s what, where were you?” She looked down and sighed, picking at her nails as she made her way and sat down in the chair. Turning to face the vanity, she looked at Refugio through the mirror as she got ready.

“It’s a long story and we need to get out there for tonight, you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up when I’m done.” Directing her eyes at the rest of them through the mirror, she bites her lip and nods. With no more time left, they all agree and leave for her to get ready. “What songs do we start off with then? Which one are you gonna perform first ternura?” She connects her gaze with the guitarron, slowly trailing them up to meet with hazel eyes, hooded with thick eyelashes. Her heart skips several beats.

Quickly regaining her composure, she grabs the makeup stuffed in the draws, pretending to be focused on getting ready. “You guys can start off with whichever songs you’d like, pero the crowd seems to be filled with a lot of heartbroken souls esta noche. Why not start it off with ‘De Que Manera Te Olvido’ just to share the sentiment.” All seemed to agree with the option, some even giving her a smirk.

“Never took you for estafadora, Soledad.” She can see his gaze on her through the mirror, watching as he laughs, smile so wide it causes crinkles at the corner of his eyes. Her heart continued to skip beat, after beat. She could possibly die and wouldn’t give it a single shit. If something as simple as a laugh and smile can nearly cause her cardiac arrest, then she doesn’t know how she’ll stay alive.

“I’m filled with surprises, Cesar.” Internally cringing at herself she claps her hands. “Ahora si, go and give the crowd what they want, show them what they came for.” With that said, an eruption of cheers and gritos followed. All of them trailing out of the room.

“The song, ternura?” She looks up, and shyly smiles. And he instantly knew which song she was thinking about. “Luz De Luna”. He smiles once more before nodding and walking out of the dressing room.

Now only leaving her with her interrogator. Mentally, she comes up with a clear explanation, but before she can even think of one, he cuts to the chase.

He walks up behind her, standing behind the chair with his sombrero held in one hand and his trumpet in the other. The stern looks in his eyes is enough for her to shrink down into her chair. He points at her through the mirror. “I’m not gonna ask right now because we’re behind on schedule. But you and I will have a talk later, don’t think I’ll forget.” His espuelas jingling as he walks back.

“I’m sorry Refugio. I didn’t mean to ge-“

“Not now, Soli. Like you said, let’s just go and give the crowd what they came here for. You, need to give them what they came here for.” Refugio is stood in front of the door, back faced towards her he tilts his head to the side, softly, he reminders her of who they truly came here for.

“La Mariachi.”

[writingisbetterthandying]

empathy - ch

A/N: I was listening to Youngblood as a whole and I got this idea and its kinda angsty but enjoy! I literally wrote this in like one sitting. (highkey a 5sos fic cliche but do I care? yeah, I do.) also "hearts ain't gonna lie" by arlissa kind of really helped this out so if you want, take a listen. this is also not only my first official 5sos fic, but also the longest thing I've written in a while so 😎🤪

hi! this is like three years old soz

Warnings: angst, a lil alcohol, sad times, cursing

Word Count: 4.7k

Your POV

Calum and I have been dating for almost a year, and everything has been perfect. I've always been friends with the guys since they originally came to LA, but until a barbecue at Mike and Crystal's about a year ago, Calum and I had been nothing more than friends. The boys and the girls had a little bet going and much to everyones' dismay, Luke took home way too much cash.  A little excessive, but they had been pooling it for months.

We've had our issues, as any relationship does, but it has been nice having them here, in LA, together before tour starts. We officially moved into our house three months ago, and it's been a dream living with Calum. Every morning we have our routine, one of us lets Duke out in our backyard and the other starts the coffee and gets to decide breakfast. We don't live too far from everyone else and the city, but far enough that we aren't in the middle of it all, all the time. Sometimes little fights start when someone forgets to turn off the light in the hall, or the studio door isn't closed, the AC is left too high, no more coffee is left in the pantry, but other than that, we pride ourselves in our open communication and our happy relationship.

That is except for one thing. I know for sure that I love Calum, and that there is no one else for me, and I know he feels the same, it's just that those three words hang over our home like a dark cloud. Every morning I wake up and I feel grateful, and I would love to just profess my love to him, but of course I know how that word makes him feel. As their tour dates start to get closer, the more ready I feel to say it, almost to have that assurance while he's away.

As I had lunch with the girls, I had to bring it up.

We were at a small cafe somewhere on Abbot Kinney, just the four of us (myself, Kay Kay, Sierra, and Crystal). We had all ordered and were making small talk when Crystal said, "Y/N, you feeling alright honey? Do you need some water?" I was consumed in my thoughts, only half listening when I just blurted out, 

"Were any of the boys weird about saying 'I love you?'" As soon as I said it, I looked down. "I know it's weird, but I just can't help thinking that something is wrong." I was about to say something to cover it up but Sierra spoke up.

"I know that right now it seems that Cal might not, but he loves you ok? Everyone can tell, and I know what you're talking about, the same kind of thing happened with Luke, but he came around, didn't he? It’s just the words that are missing right now."

 I knew that Sierra was right, but some part of me just kept on doubting.

"I know Lu took a while, but some times when I say the word 'love,' if it's about Duke, or a movie, or it's something completely irrelevant, he freezes up, and I don't know, does he love me, not even love, but does he really even care about me?" I felt tears start to prick a the back of my eyes but I knew that I shouldn't be crying over my devoted boyfriend. It really was only three words.

"Sweetie, it's okay to feel this way, but trust us, Calum loves you, he might just need some time to say it," Kay Kay said. She always knows how to reassure me.

"Thank you guys, now enough of this icky boy talk, let's eat!"

The rest of the lunch we didn't mention the whole thing, we just enjoyed each other's company before planning to meet again next week.  

It had been a couple days since the lunch, and I didn't worry myself thinking about the whole thing. 

I got home from work, put my keys in the bowl, placed my bag down, took off my shoes, then called out for Duke. The small fluff ball yapped at me as I crouched down to his level before checking to see that I wasn’t some intruder, then proceeded to give me kisses.

I was so caught up in the puppy love that I hadn't realized Calum leaning against the counter.

"Hi babe, how was your day?" He asked.

"It was fine, but much better now that I'm with my two favorite boys." He let out a short chuckle at that. 

"How about you go change out of your work clothes, and I start on dinner. How does pasta sound?" The thought of a home cooked meal sounded amazing.

"That sounds amazing Cal, I'm gonna go take a shower and then I'll come and help." With that, I walked up the stairs to the master bedroom. I picked out a pair of pajama shorts and then grabbed Calum's empathy sweatshirt from the closet- it was just too comfy for me not to. I checked my phone before I stripped, seeing a couple of Twitter mentions and some Instagram updates. I turned off my phone, got undressed, and started the shower.

After my shower, I went downstairs to see Calum in his "Kiss the Cook" apron that I had bought for his birthday, singing to a playlist we made over summer, stirring the pasta. I leaned against the counter and admired him, so domestic and cute. 

God I love you, I thought.

"What?" The music was now paused, and the burner off, Calum now looking straight into my eyes, expression cold, now not as domestic and cute. 

"What do you mean 'What?'" I asked.

"What you just said," he asked slowly. "What did you just say."

My face paled as I realized that I had said the L word out loud. 

"Is it okay that I said it?" I asked cautiously, not knowing what his response could be.

"What do you mean 'Is it okay what I said?' Why would you think that?" He let out a sarcastic chuckle. I had never felt scared around Calum, but the frustration in his voice was something new. 

"I just thought-" I felt that we were in a place where it would be okay to finally say those words, but Calum obviously did not. 

"No you didn't, Y/N, you obviously weren’t thinking when those words came out of your mouth." The venom in his voice caused tears to start pooling in my eyes. He took off his apron and started walking towards the door.

"Cal, what do you mean?" 

He scoffed.

"I mean that I can't do this shit. Don't wait up." 

As he said those words the tears started to flow. He grabbed his keys and left. He unlocked the door, and slammed it straight after him, too frustrated to really think. With the slam of the door my first sob was released, so ugly, so wet, so broken. I didn't realize when I had gotten on the floor, but since I was already there, I laid down, letting the sobs rack through my body. With shaking hands, I was able to call Sierra and make out a few comprehensible words to tell her to come over. 

Calum's POV

What did she mean, "I love you?" She can't just say that kind of shit. I didn't care, and I know I should've but what could I do? I saw her tears, and even though I promised to never make her cry, I just had to get out of there. I couldn't be in our house at that moment. I got in my car and drove straight to Ashton's. The less time I spend near our house, where she is, the better.

Just that word, and just all the shit that I’ve seen inevitably comes with it, it's just not something I really wanted to think about. I was happy where we were, I mean moving in together was already a big deal, how about we wait a little more time before we go around saying that. As I walked up to the door, these thoughts ran through my mind, and it briefly crossed my mind how she must be feeling, but I just thought we were in a good place without needing that.

After I knocked on the door, a very angry Ashton opened it, as an equally pissed Kay Kay shoved passed me to get to her own car.

"Mate, you're a complete douche," he stated. He obviously found out, how, I don't know, but I didn't really care.

"I know, but can I come in?" I know that Y/N is his friend too, but as my best mate I just need him to support me right now.

With an annoyed huff, he let me in.

"Make yourself comfortable I guess, I'll grab you a beer," he said as he locked the front door and went to the kitchen.

I nodded in acknowledgement and sat on the couch, resting my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands. Ashton just placed the beer in front of me.

"You obviously came here to talk, or whatever, so talk." He sounded beyond annoyed and disappointed, but I knew he was just trying to help, so I talked. I told him about my weariness around the word, and what was said, how it all went down, and then he was quiet. It felt nice, to be able to feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. It was quiet for a while before Ashton spoke up.

"You still are a massive asshole, you know that right?" I let out a sigh of frustration.

"Yeah, I know." This whole situation was not good.

"At least you know. Mike and Luke are on their way." More people telling me that I'm not a good person, just what I needed.

The doorbell rang not long after, and as it was opened by an unsuspecting Ashton, Luke immediately beelined to Calum, ranting his ear off as Michael closed the door and greeted Ashton.

"My girlfriend just left our house with my dog to cheer yours up! What the fuck is wrong with you, man? She had to bring fucking Petunia to Y/N, you ass! We had to bring out Petunia when her asshole of an ex broke her heart and her grandma died. You fucked up big time, Cal. Also, I had plans tonight, and that isn’t exactly relevant but whatever, man, what the fuck! Y/N is our friend too, so what the fuck did you do and why did you do it to the poor girl?"

As he finished he let out a deep breath and Ashton made sure to stay in between us so that no fighting would happen. Luke was right, as much as I didn't like him right now, Y/N really only needed Petunia when it was really bad.

"Crystal took Southy too," Michael mumbled.

That relieved some tension as we all laughed. That, however, did not last very long.

"She told me that she loves me," I barely whispered.

"And so you bailed," Mike stated simply. As much as it was true, I hated the way it sounded coming from his mouth.

"Yes, okay? I bailed, I didn't know what to do, so the asshole I am I left my girlfriend crying in our kitchen, I feel so great about it," I stated sarcastically.  As I admitted the part about leaving her there, crying, I felt the guilt seep in. I started to feel like crying, and I think that the boys could tell too.

"Hey, Cal, it'll be okay, we promise. You just need to talk to her." Luke's tone was a lot softer now, especially since I started to cry as he started to talk. His hand and Ashton’s rubbing my back like I was some child. Not that it wasn’t nice but their pity just made me feel worse. The few tears and sniffles eventually led to big fat, elephant tears, rolling down my face, and hiccups escaping every once in a while. I know it isn't very macho, but I really fucked things up.

I was barely able to get out, "One of the last things I said to her was that 'I couldn't do this shit.'"

At that they all looked at me with sympathy, realizing that it was a lot worse than they originally had thought. I started to sob. "She probably thinks that I broke up with her, that I don't want her, but I love her." The last part slipped through my mouth without me thinking, and I could tell the guys definitely noticed.

"You're in some deep shit, my guy," Mike stated plainly. Everyone else just nodded in silence.

Ashton was next to speak up, "I think you should tell her, because she deserves to know, but let us talk to Sierra or someone first okay?" I hated the way he sounded like he was talking to a first grader, a child, but I hated even more the way that it comforted me so much.

"Sounds good." Something in me was still hesitant as I wiped my sleeve across my face. This was not at all what I had anticipated for tonight. We were going to eat our pasta, drink some wine, watch an old movie that we've probably seen way too many times, play with Duke, make out a little on the couch, then head up to bed. However, all because of me, we would have to save that for another night. That nice evening plan has been completely thrown out the door when I left.

Your POV

It had been a while since Calum left. At least I wasn't alone, I had three very supportive friends, and three very cute and dogs, too.

But now isn’t the time to admire my friends and their wonderful dogs. Right now is the time to cry and just shout and yell and be mad at the whole fucking world and share a bottle of wine and just let go and not care about the consequences. I had always been an emotional drunk, and a lightweight, having been told many times, but tonight, instead of being angry, I just felt sad, and tired, and weak, hopeless even, just completely drained. All that ran through my mind was his words over and over again, and how angry he was, his face so cold. "I can't do this shit." It was draining, picturing it so vividly over and over again. Sure, I had had a little too much to drink, but no one wanted to be the one to stop me.

Sure, there was anger, maybe in the middle, but it lasted maybe ten minutes, and then everything just felt sad. I cried to Petunia, telling her how much I loved her, and when she grunted back at me, I broke down. I broke down because here I was, sitting on my kitchen floor still, my three closest friends standing at my counter watching me tell a dog I love them for them to actually reciprocate at least something. How ironic. 

 I sat there, Duke in my lap, Southy staring at me from the couch, and Petunia lying on my right, two empty wine bottles on my left. I sat there petting Duke and Petunia, silent tears falling as I mumbled sweet nothings to the two of them.

"This fucking hurts. A lot," I stated simply. Calmly too, but after a couple seconds a fresh wave of tears came, "This really hurts. I miss him already guys. I know I shouldn't but I do." I could feel their stares as they all came to sit down on the floor with me.

"This hurts a lot, and I know it does, but let’s drink some water and get some food in you, okay? Can you do that for us?" Crystal said. I stared at her with wide eyes, and I knew that the wine couldn't always be there, and God knows it made everything a little less terrible, but I nodded in agreement. Time to be a grown up. 

Somehow I made it to the couch, now having a blanket and all three dogs in my lap or at least near enough for support. Most of the tears had dried when I realized I was still wearing his empathy sweatshirt. I put the hood up, and took in that smell, that Calum smell that was just so distinctly him, and I cried. These were full on sobs, and I'm sure I looked hysterical, crying into a sweatshirt, but here I was. This jacket just held so many memories, and although it seems like something so insignificant, he wore it on our first date, a night with so many good and pure memories attached. He had asked me to move in with him wearing that sweatshirt, it was that jacket when we talked about our dream home, the one that feels so cold now. Just the thought of his face, his cheeks, his eyes, the kindness they hold, and his smile, I couldn't help wondering if that would ever be directed at me again, and the thought just ripped me in half.

Kay Kay gingerly handed me a cup of water. "I just want you to know that we love you, and I know that word is sensitive right now, but the girls and I, Ashton, Luke, Mike, we all love you okay? And the dogs." That alone brought another wave of tears, although mainly sad, I did chuckle a little at the mention of the dogs. I nodded and gave her the best smile I was able to produce. As I listened to everyone's supportive words, his harsh ones came back. "I can't do this shit. I can't do this shit. I can't do this shit." That and the painful slam of the door just kept on haunting me, I felt hopeless.

"At least some people love me." I mumbled. I could see that my friends had started to get teary, "I didn't tell you guys what he said, before he left." I swallowed thickly, the room so tense I felt like I was drowning.

"He uhm he- he said that he couldn't do this shit anymore." As I spoke, it felt like pushing a big fat rock through my throat, just painful and so heavy. I felt so stupid, and that there was nothing else for me to in that moment, but cry. I saw my friends shed a tear or two as they listened.

"I hope you know that none of this is your fault, okay sweetie? We love you, and we know that this hurts but we're here for you," Sierra said. At some point they all came to the living room and were sitting with me. All I could do was nod.

Although their words were comforting, I couldn't help but feel selfish, so fucking selfish that I still wanted Cal to be with me. For him to be saying I love you and for him to be the one giving me cups of water and saying everything will be alright. As selfish as it was, I knew that I couldn't do that. I knew that the girls knew. That despite all the hurt, I still needed him. I knew that it was my fault, and that he might never come back, so I did all I had done in that past hour or however long it had really been, and I pulled the dogs closer to me, and I cried myself to sleep on that couch in his stupid green empathy sweatshirt.

As I was asleep, the girls talked a little bit, Crystal saying that Mike texted her telling what was going on at Ashton's, and them planning on how they would deal with Calum. They knew that he was a somewhat mess, but they knew that Calum was not nearly as physically crushed as the girl asleep on the couch was. She looked small, and so tired, and they wanted nothing more than to protect her as best they could.

Calum's POV

The boys had put on a movie some time ago, but I didn't bother following the plot. Looking at the screen gave me a headache, but looking anywhere else all I saw was her, crying on the floor. I swear as I left our house, after I slammed the door and I heard her sob, I have never wanted to leave anywhere faster. I knew it was stupid of me, and that I was terrible and should never had done that to to her, and I know that I love her. I felt a tear slip past, but I wiped it away before anyone could see. 

"I know I acted like a major asshole, but I love her guys. I just know for sure that I love her, and there sure as hell isn't anyone else for me; I just really need to see her," I said suddenly.

I think this surprised the guys, but he got a response.

"The girls texted, said she fell asleep crying, but also that she wanted to see you," Ashton said, still annoyed, but understanding.

Luke however, interrupted, "Well she never said that she wanted to see you but apparently she was crying into your hoodie and never took it off, so we assumed that she wants to see you. She really fucking loves you dude."

"Well thanks for that wonderful speech, Lucas, but let's just get our boy here to his girl," Mike said. We all nodded and went out to Ashton's car, and for the most part we were silent all the way to our house. As we went up the driveway I started to feel more nervous. I saw the girls' cars parked outside, and it was comforting to know that at least she wasn't alone.

Ashton turned off the ignition and turned to look at everyone.

"Calum will be the last of us to go inside, capeesh? We’ll talk to the girls, 'cause from what it seems she was asleep. Once the area is secured, Calum can come in and he will talk to the girls first, and then maybe talk to Y/N. If not, we drive him back to my place for the night." I appreciated how much control over the situation Ashton took, although I really hoped I would be able to talk to her. I don't know how it would feel, not falling asleep next to her, probably a lot of hurt, and pain, but that's what I caused in the past hours.

We all nodded and the boys went in, and I stayed in the car. They had been gone, inside of my house for 15 minutes when my phone buzzed.

Luke US:

Coast is clear, we are a go for eagle, godspeed.

Seeing that terrible text, I turned off my phone and got out of the car. I had never really felt nervous to enter our house. Every day, opening that door, and just feeling the warmth, regardless of who was there. We prided ourselves on that homey environment we had worked to pull off. Really, a beautiful home, but as I opened the door, hesitant for the first time, as soon as I stepped in, that warm environment was gone. I felt a chill run down my spine, and I felt some tears collect back in my eyes.

The emptiness of our home, despite the eight people and three dogs, and the countless number of small plants and all the decorations, and everything we worked so hard to have in our shared space, came as a shock. I knew I was at fault, but if this was how our home felt, our shared physical space, I had no idea how she could be feeling.

I knew she felt terrible, and probably responsible, and that she probably thinks that I'm officially the worst boyfriend ever. She probably is second guessing most of our relationship and her actions, and I know the way she thinks, and I hate that I caused her this much pain.

I stepped closer to the couch, where I could see a happy Petunia clutched by her arms, Duke cuddling into her side. If I hadn't known the reason, it would've been the perfect picture, but I knew that know wasn't the time. I leaned over the couch, and Duke sensing my presence started to get antsy, so I picked him up and greeted him as I would any other day. It was almost deja vu, and I realized that this was almost how we started our night.

My puppy love woke up Y/N, and despite looking so small, and so fragile, she still looked as beautiful as ever.

"Hi babe," I said carefully, I decided to sit at the end of the couch, where her feet were. I saw the way she tucked Petunia closer to her, and tried not to take too much note of it. "I just wanted you to know that I love you."

A small gasp escaped not only her mouth, but Sierra's, Kay Kay's, and Crystal's too. Obviously shocked to hear my words. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone's enthusiastic fist pump. All six still in the kitchen decided to go outside, to give us some privacy. I then looked at her, her eyes watery again, and she nodded.

"I know that I made you feel shitty. Hell, shitty isn't the right word, even. I broke you down, and I never should've reacted the way that I did, it was immature and irresponsible. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, but I think that we can work through this." I felt my own eyes get watery, I mean I know that what I did was wrong, but if we couldn't work through this, I don't know what I'd do.

I was so consumed in my thoughts that I barely heard her release a sob. I was immediately at her side. I shifted so that her head was in my lap, and it was slightly awkward, but it felt so much better. She was still holding Petunia, and Duke went back to his place next to her side. I played with her hair, my fingers soothingly going through her head. It had been a nice silence for a while, before she spoke up.

"I love you too," she barely whispered. Her voice was hoarse from all the crying, and it broke my heart. "I-I just, I don't know if I could function without you Cal. I just, I know that this was all stupid, but I love you, and I'm sorry we couldn't talk about it properly." Hearing her voice break made me look down at her face as she was still crying. I shifted her, and made it in a way that it was comfortable for me to hug her, and for her to hug Petunia. It was nice, comforting, just overall a nice moment.

"Don’t apologize, okay? It’s on me. I swear babe. I don’t think I could live without you, seriously. There is no one else I’d rather have this life to share with, and I love you, forever okay?" With my last words I held out my pinky finger. It was something we did when we had first started being friends, we always made pinky promises, and pinky promises were never broken.

"Forever," she said as she linked our pinkies.

Of course we would need to talk about it more, but with our current mental states, the pinky promise and the light kisses to the forehead were enough reassurance for tonight. She fell asleep, on the couch, again, this time with a smile on her face, and I smiled too. I smiled as I returned Petunia back to Luke, and then picked her up and brought her up, Duke happily following us. Laying in bed next to her, the tears dried away, it felt right again, our house was definitely back to being a home, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[smoothshift]

Comprehensive coverage of the Ford Explorer Carbon Monoxide problem - and the fix that didn't work. via /r/cars

Comprehensive coverage of the Ford Explorer Carbon Monoxide problem - and the fix that didn't work.

Hi. This story is long, so I will include a TLDR; at the beginning. If you or someone you know is included in the title subject group, I encourage you to read this. In-text citations are included and a reference list is at the bottom (APA6 for those who care). While I see there are links to certain articles about this subject, I believe my article is more comprehensive in coverage. Mods, if you feel this falls too close to the duplicate rule, I understand. This is something I'm dealing with currently and I wanted to share the results of my findings. I have put a great deal of effort into researching and citing this, so I hope it meets the standards.

TLDR:

Fifth Generation Ford Explorers have a problem dating back to 2011 with exhaust leaking into the cabin. Ford claims to have fixed it but it hasn't. This has caused accidents, lawsuits, and a large potential scandal to be swept under the rug. Get an inexpensive Carbon Monoxide detector to keep in the car if you fall into this category, it may save your life.

INTRODUCTION

I am writing this post as a precautionary tale to others who may be in my shoes. I own a 2013 Ford Explorer Limited 4WD with 110,000 miles on it. On Friday my wife complained of a migraine, which happens from time to time. On Saturday, the migraine was so bad she had to go to the ER. Her Check Engine light came on by Monday, at which point she took it to a trusted mechanic who read the code and told her that one of her catalytic converters was going out.

For those that don't know, "a catalytic converter is a device that uses a catalyst to convert three harmful compounds in car exhaust into harmless compounds" (HowStuffWorks, 2019). According to Popely (2019), a catalytic converter should last 10 years. This equates out to around 160,000-185,000 miles. The fact that this was failing after 6 years and 110,000 miles was a big problem. If a catalytic converter fails, it's usually a severe symptom of something else in the engine going wrong.

That same Monday, she noticed an odd smell in her car, something she described as a permanent marker type smell. The mechanic informed her that this was carbon monoxide and extremely dangerous. For those that don't know, according to The Mayo Clinic (2019),

Carbon monoxide poisoning occurs when carbon monoxide builds up in your bloodstream. When too much carbon monoxide is in the air, your body replaces the oxygen in your red blood cells with carbon monoxide. This can lead to serious tissue damage, or even death. Carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless, tasteless gas produced by burning gasoline, wood, propane, charcoal or other fuel. Improperly ventilated appliances and engines, particularly in a tightly sealed or enclosed space, may allow carbon monoxide to accumulate to dangerous levels.

The symptoms of CO Poisoning include:

Dull headache

Weakness

Dizziness

Nausea or vomiting

Shortness of breath

Confusion

Blurred vision

Loss of consciousness

Carbon Monoxide does not simply leave your body as soon as you hit fresh air. Brain damage can occur and effects can happen even after leaving the CO filled environment. My wife was a sufferer of migraines but had taken steps to mitigate them, so it startled us that they had been reoccurring in recent months. I was looking online about this and found this was a systemic problem to the fifth generation Explorer that Ford simply doesn't know how to fix.

Known Cases

Since 2016, the National Highway Safety Traffic Administration (NHSTA) has been investigating this problem. As far as I can tell, the problem was first detected in the Police Interceptor model of the Ford Explorer (in commercial use) with incidents such as (Martyn, 2019) :

A Newport Beach, CA Officer passing out while driving, which led to him crashing into a tree.

An Auburn, MA officer also passing out while driving, rear-ending another vehicle (the department claims 4 officers have experienced CO poisoning).

A Henderson, LA officer losing consciousness and flipping her vehicle.

Five Austin, TX officers experiencing CO poisoning over a period of four days, leading to the department pulling 400 Explorer patrol vehicles from service.

Additionally, a Fall River, MA officer was hospitalized for CO poisoning in his cruiser (San Miguel, n.d.).

Furthermore, six Washington state troopers filed suit against Ford after receiving CO poisoning (Howard, 2019).

HOWEVER, the actual discovery of the problem dates back to 2011, when a Ford employee discovered this. Ford stated that they found "the circumstances needed to recreate the problem to be outside of typical customer use," (Hyatt, 2019).

For its part, Ford blamed the Police Departments, citing modifications found that were not factory standard. However, Ford does not have an explanation for the over 1,300 civilian complaints made to the NHSTA regarding the same problem.

Furthermore, "Captain James Thibodeaux of the Henderson Police Department responds that Ford has never inspected the Explorer involved in the crash that injured his officer. He says that the automaker contacted the police department’s insurer about arranging an inspection, but has yet to do so. As for Ford’s blaming the carbon monoxide leak on vehicle modifications, 'they can’t make that determination from this point at the case because they haven’t looked at the vehicle,'" (Martyn, 2019).

The Center for Auto Safety has pressured Ford to initiate a recall for the 1.3 million Explorers sold in that period, citing the over 1,300 documented cases. The NHSTA has stated it has received over 2,000 complaints as well that might be related to the exhaust problems because they mention "an exhaust smell, burning eyes, drowsiness, headaches, and nausea" (Riddle, 2019).

Although Ford has repeatedly denied responsibility, "Ford has reportedly issued technical service bulletins that pertain to the issue. The manufacturer acknowledged in a deposition that there appears to be a “design issue” that is still being evaluated" (Smith, n.d.). This slipped out in arbitration for one of the more than 50 legal grievances filed against the company (Beene, 2019):

Ford representative Bob Gray testifying in January 2015 that the Cassidys (one of the plaintiffs) couldn’t pursue warranty claims because the company had tried but couldn’t solve the problem. “It’s a design issue, not a defect,” Gray told the arbitrator, according to a transcript of the proceeding. “The fact that it’s being reported across the large number of vehicles would show that it’s not a defect in this particular vehicle.”

Ford quickly backpedaled, distancing themselves from the representative and saying that he misspoke and there were no design problems.

HOWEVER, another Ford representative in the Washington State Trooper lawsuit said this:

"During a Florida Better Business Bureau proceeding on Jan. 2, 2015, Ford's representative said, "We do feel that it's a design issue, not a defect ... It's simply a vent leading somewhere where it doesn't need to be; and, you know, it's just being set in a certain way that's — that's allowing it to draw it into the — into the vehicle," according to a transcript cited in the Washington State lawsuit" (Howard, 2019).

Ford backpedaled on this as well, once again citing the safety of their vehicles and a representative misspeaking.

What is this design issue? TO be honest, no one is exactly sure.

While Ford says that its vehicles are perfectly safe, "a police department in Montgomery County, Maryland has found that some vehicles have cracked exhaust manifolds, which is a part of the car that goes from the engine to the tailpipe" (Eklund, 2019).

This is supported by the NHTSA, according to Levine (2019), "In July 2017, NHTSA indicated the most likely culprit for the exposure of Ford consumers to potentially lethal amounts of Carbon Monoxide was cracked exhaust manifolds."

"The leaks were mostly found in the exhaust manifold and the catalytic converter, which in the Explorer are welded together to form a single part. Problems identified in the records included porous welds, cracks and poor fits with other components that allowed exhaust to escape before exiting the tailpipe," (Beene, 2019).

Furthermore, the probe into this from the NHTSA has not included 2018 models, although complaints have been registered about those as well.

Did Ford do ANYTHING?

Ford implemented a program in 2017 that it said fixed the problem, with Explorer owners complaining of exhaust odors being able to bring their vehicle into a Ford dealership. Dealers will reprogram the air conditioner, replace the liftgate drain valves, and inspect the sealing at the rear of the vehicles, Ford said. All work will be done free of charge. This program expired on 31 December 2018.

According to Levine, (2019), "Ford issued a Customer Service Program (CSP-17N03) focused on less expensive and potentially less effective repairs such as reapplying weather sealant and reprogramming the climate control in order to give customers “peace of mind” but stated the “vehicles are safe.” The CSP did not vary dramatically from previous technical bulletins Ford has quietly been issuing since 2012 to address the same issue (See: TSB 14-0130, and TSB 16-016.)."

Additionally, if you didn't know (we sure didn't) (Beene, 2019):

As part of a 2016 deal to resolve a national class-action lawsuit alleging carbon monoxide problems in 2011-2015 Explorers. That nationwide settlement, which was finalized last September, provided $175 to $500 to customers who paid for repairs that didn’t work; extended warranties for the exhaust issue; and required Ford to issue a new bulletin to dealerships recommending repairs, which it did. In the settlement agreement, Ford didn’t admit to any liability. Drivers of 2016 and 2017 Explorers not covered by that settlement filed a separate case seeking class-action status in federal court in Detroit in October 2017. That case is ongoing. Meanwhile, proposed class-action suits have been filed in federal courts in New York State and New Jersey, both on behalf of law enforcement personnel who used Police Interceptor models.

Ford also did a buyback on approximately 100 of these Explorers as a "goodwill gesture", although they are not all completed and the owners are still using the Explorers, albeit with CO monitors.

Why not a recall?

While NHTSA has not finished its investigation and has not ordered a recall, other aforementioned groups have called on Ford to execute one. However, this recall would be in the seven figures and likely cost Ford somewhere in the hundreds of millions of dollars neighborhood.

As an example of how costly recalls are, (Beene, 2019):

Recalling the 1.3 million fifth-generation Explorers would be costly, but precise estimates are hard to come by—chiefly because it’s unclear what any fix might entail if NHTSA requires a new one. For context: Ford said in September that it would take a $140 million charge to recall around 2 million F-150s for faulty seatbelt components that could cause fires. In 2017, the company took a $267 million charge to recall 1.3 million F-Series pickup trucks in the U.S., Canada and Mexico to correct faulty door latches.

Did the "Fix" work?

Short answer: No. The Center for Auto Safety has received multiple complaints from consumers after they got the "fix", according to Levine (2019). Jason Levine is the Executive Director for the Center for Auto Safety and says that " Ford owners continue to file complaints with NHTSA about exposure to exhaust and carbon monoxide in their Explorers. Scores of consumers, even after receiving their “peace of mind” fix, continue to report experiencing the same symptoms as before their visit to the Ford dealership."

If you fall into this category of driver, I highly suggest you keep an inexpensive carbon monoxide detector in your vehicle.

Silver Linings

According to Hyatt (2019), "the good news, if there is any in all this, is that Ford is introducing an all-new Explorer for the 2020 model year, and the powertrain and exhaust setup are not being carried over wholesale." Even still, this is a company that is actively choosing to ignore a problem it discovered in 2011 and not do a recall. I know that I will never trust Ford again, and I am trading it in (with full disclosure to the dealer) tomorrow.

Caveat: While some reports have said this resolved the issue (Beene, 2019), further reading states that complaints persist (Hyatt, 2019). The free fix program concluded on 31 December 2018

REFERENCES:

Beene, R. (2019). Ford Explorer Owners Say Their SUVs Are Making Them Sick. Retrieved from https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2019-ford-explorer-owners-say-suvs-making-them-sick/

Eklund, J. (2019). Carbon Monoxide Leaks In Ford Explorers May Lead To Large Recall. Retrieved from https://thomasjhenrylaw.com/blog/product-liability/carbon-monoxide-leaks-ford-explorers-may-lead-large-recall/

Howard, P. (2019). Police lawsuit alleges carbon monoxide poisoning from Ford Explorer. Retrieved from This link has been removed from this post on this subreddit due to the blacklist domain rule. The article can be found by googling the headline.

HowStuffWorks. (2019). What is a Catalytic Converter and How Does It Work?. Retrieved from https://auto.howstuffworks.com/question66.htm

Hyatt, K. (2019). Ford Explorer owners getting carbon monoxide poisoning in their cars, report alleges. Retrieved from This link has been removed from this post on this subreddit due to the blacklist domain rule. The article can be found by googling the headline.

Levine, J. (2019). On Second Anniversary of NHTSA Investigation into Carbon Monoxide Leaks in 2011-2017 Ford Explorers Center for Auto Safety Renews Call for Ford Recall Based on Consumer Complaints the Ford Fix Does Not Work. Retrieved from https://www.autosafety.org/on-second-anniversary-of-nhtsa-investigation-into-carbon-monoxide-leaks-in-2011-2017-ford-explorers-center-for-auto-safety-renews-call-for-ford-recall-based-on-consumer-complaints-the-ford/

Martyn, A. (2019). Ford blames police modifications for carbon monoxide leaks that sickened officers. Retrieved from https://www.consumeraffairs.com/news/ford-blames-police-modifications-for-carbon-monoxide-leaks-that-sickened-officers-013018.html

Popely, R. (2019). How Often Should I Replace My Catalytic Converter?. Retrieved from https://www.cars.com/articles/how-often-should-i-replace-my-catalytic-converter-1420683869829/

Riddle, G. (2019). SHOULD FORD EXPLORER CARBON MONOXIDE LEAKS SPARK A NATIONWIDE RECALL?. Retrieved from https://justicecounts.com/auto-accidents/ford-explorer-carbon-monoxide-leaks-spark-nationwide-recall/

San Miguel, M. (n.d.). Fall River officer exposed to carbon monoxide in cruiser. Retrieved from https://turnto10.com/news/local/fall-river-officer-exposed-to-carbon-monoxide-in-cruiser

Smith, C. (n.d.). Cop Sues Ford Over Carbon Monoxide Poisoning In Patrol Car. Retrieved from This link has been removed from this post on this subreddit due to the blacklist domain rule. The article can be found by googling the headline.

The Mayo Clinic. (2019). Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/carbon-monoxide/symptoms-causes/syc-20370642