#Jacob Keller

[overthinkingtaleblr]

My Josh Headcanon Masterlist

Everyone welcome to the table the first character in any media to have me considering broader sexuality and gender than cishet for characters! Josh is a warm and welcoming sweetheart with a frequently-changing story and life, and even seems to contradict themself on occasion... So I decided to complicate things. Occam's Razor? More like I'm going to do the weirdest thing possible.

As I see it, Josh-- similar to the Acachallas-- has some quality that makes it easier for them to travel between dimensions. Josh seems to lead several different lives because they happen to be multiple different people, each with their own personal lives. They are not specifically from any one dimension, and tends to live on the fringes or in abandoned pocket dimensions... with some exceptions.

Who Is Josh?

As I see it, there are several different people co-existing who all qualify as Josh. They are all ten years apart for now to give a consistent difference between them, some have different identities, but they are all Josh. This is because when Josh appears in a video, there is almost ALWAYS a conflict relating to dimensions, so maybe Josh THEMSELF is an inter-dimensional person. This makes the reason why they act so different all the time because... it's different people!!! Specifically four of them!

Josh Davenport, age 47, wife of Aaron Davenport and adoptive mother of an amnesiac Sally Villainchalla, named Cecelia Davenport, who she's attempting to redeem. The trio live alone in a pocket dimension, and are completely self-sufficient without contact to the outside world. This Josh is likely from the Villainchalla's universe, and was hoping to never have to return, and to make something from their world innocent and cheerful.

Jacob Keller, age 37, lives in Greece, the most hectic and chaotic of them all... and also a butch lesbian. Has both worked with Johnny Ghost and betrayed him. Accidentally broke up with Dummy because they didn't know the guy, really confusing the Josh who was dating Dummy. Somehow knows Gregory Gregory. Gregory and does the most dimensional travel out of all the Joshes.

Josh Keller, age 27, native to the main dimension, dating Dummy, works as a pumpkin picker, and went to school with Johnny Toast. They're close with their sister, Taylor, and are trying to reconnect with their brother, Charlie. This is ONE of the Joshes to join PIE in the billion year war. They died by falling off a roof in that timeline.

Josh Stevens, age 17, this is the Josh who would be in a romantic relationship with Jenny Ghost and Jenny Toast if the option was on the table. This is the other Josh to join PIE in the Billion Year War. They died while trying to control a Tripod from the inside.

Four different characters who all happen to be one, the structure of this analysis will likely be somewhat different than usual. I think that they're all friendly to each other if and when they encounter each other, though they never worked out a system for when they encounter someone the other Joshes know.

Relationship HCs

Aaron Davenport

The Husband of specifically Josh Davenport, he hasn't met any of the other versions of his spouse. The two live outside of the standard dimensions to try to avoid getting involved in anything horrible or hectic, and Josh loves him very much. They see each other as a grounding force, and wouldn't trade each other's company for the world.

Charlie Keller

Josh's younger brother and a bartender at a tourist trap hotel. Despite his sibling's abilities, he has nothing that he is aware of just yet, making him frustrated and a little self-loathing. Josh is not aware of the depth of what he's feeling, and accidentally brushes him off more than once. They're trying to reconnect but they've both changed so much that the old methods they used to connect won't work yet.

In the billion year war, they made it their priority to find their brother after finding out he was making up prophecies and going by Action Charlie to sound cooler than he really was. They wanted to get it in his brain how dangerous his choices were, but the wasteland got to them first.

His inferiority complex can be a problem if not considered.

Darth Calculus

Hate to say this, but while I'm not sure which one yet, one of the Joshes has joined the ranks of characters who went to school under Darth Calculus... Which likely says something about where that one's loyalties lie at the end of the day. As it stands now, only one of the four trained under him, though it's possible his influence can reach all of them through his actions toward one... not sure yet.

Dummy

Josh Keller's significant other, the pair have been dating for a long while and met through Johnny Toast. She likes how sensitive but mature he is, and thinks his forgetful nature is a little funny.

Jacob randomly encountered Dummy one day, thought he was ridiculous, and orchestrated a break-up with them for the drama. She thinks the other version of her could do better. She would be disappointed to learn they repaired their relationship afterward.

Gavin Toast

Much to every other Josh's chagrin, Josh Stevens has a bit of an unsubstantial crush on every Toast she encounters, and that includes Gavin. It is also likely to Gavin's chagrin, considering he wouldn't have the time to babysit a child. They would say something, he would roll his eyes and go back to work, they wouldn't notice him shrugging them off, they probably robbed a bank together... y'know, harmless.

Jenny Ghost

Possible girlfriend!

Jenny Toast

Johnny Ghost

Johnny Toast

27-year-old Josh and Johnny Toast met each other through high school.

Same for 17-year-old Josh, but that was a different dimension, and they didn't hit it off the same way.

Sally Villainchalla

Or Cecelia Davenport, the oldest of the Joshes 'rescued' the amnesiac Villainchalla from their universe without realizing she was apart of the problem. They love their daughter, and are doing what they can to grow beyond the evil expectations of their world. Cecelia doesn't have any memories outside of the pocket dimension she's been raised in, and with any luck it'll stay that way.

Taylor Keller

Josh's older sister and someone who Josh heavily looks up to! They trust their sister's intuition and are closer with her than they are their brother.

Trivia

The birth order of Josh and their siblings goes Taylor, Josh, Charlie. They are also all trans and they try their best to be supportive to each other. They don't stay together in every universe, and Josh Keller is the tightest with both their siblings at once.

Josh Davenport gets their surname from Andrew Davenport, one of the creators of Teletubbies.

Jacob Keller gets their first name from a pseudonym Josh used in canon, and they and Josh Keller get their surname from Joe Keller, who played the main character of the 1987 All My Sons made-for-TV film since 21 pilots gets their name from that. That is also their canon original surname.

Josh Stevens gets their name from it being declared in canon at one point... why they don't have the Keller surname... who knows... ;)

[inevitablemoment]

The Aquinnah Chronicles Playlist (so far-- will be updated)

i. a sorta fairytale (tori amos)

like a good book // i can't put this day back // a sorta fairytale with you

ii. the shoop shoop song [it's in his kiss] (linda ronstadt)*

does he love me? i wanna know // how can i tell if he loves me so?

iii. paper rings (taylor swift)

i like shiny things // but i'd marry you with paper rings

iv. dog days are over (florence + the machine)

happiness hit her like a train on a track // coming towards her, stuck still, no turning back

v. running up that hill [a deal with god] (kate bush)

if i only could // i'd make a deal with god // and get him to swap our places

vi. running up that hill [epic version] (samuel kim)

no lyrics

vii. romeo and juliet (dire straits)

the dice was loaded from the start // and i bet, when you exploded into my heart

viii. journey to the past (christy altomare)

heart, don't fail me now // courage, don't desert me // don't turn back now that we're here

ix. magic to do (patina miller, pippin 2013 revival cast)

journey, journey to a spot ex // 'citing, mystic and exotic // journey through our anecdote revue

x. corner of the sky (matthew james thomas)

so many men seem destined to settle for something small // but i won't rest until i know i'll have it all // so don't ask me where i'm going // just listen when i'm gone // and far away, you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn

xi. ocean away (barlow & bear, ft. darren criss)*

am i the one to blame // when we're dancing in the same room // but you're an ocean away

xii. shy (sarah jessica parker)

can't you guess // that this confident air // is a mask that i wear // 'cause i'm shy?

More under the cut

xiii. doll on a music box/truly scrumptious reprise (sally ann howes & dick van dyke)*

you cannot see // how much i long to be free // turning around on this music box // that's wound by a key

xiv. elaborate lives (adam pascal & heather headley)

we all live such elaborate lives // wild ambitions in our sights // how an affair of the heart survives // days apart and hurried nights

xv. feels like this (maisie peters)

uncover secrets // treasure hunting days away // stumbling on diamonds // i'm speechless and blown away

xvi. salvation (gabrielle aplin)

i never meant to fall for you // but i was buried underneath // and all that i could see was white

xvii. medicine (james arthur)

you're my bulletproof vest when it's getting dangerous // always make me feel blessed // you're my guardian angel

xviii. love alone (katelyn tarver)

it's on the line // i'm waiting for a sign // i see it in your eyes, i // i know you really feel the same

xix. another op'nin', another show (kiss me, kate 2019 cast)

another job that you hope, at last // will make your future forget your past // another pain where the ulcers grow

xx. shall we dance? (kelli o'hara & ken watanabe)

shall we dance? // on a bright cloud of music // shall we fly?

xxi. i'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair (kelli o'hara & ensemble)

don't try to patch it up // tear it up, tear it up // wash him out, dry him out // push him out, fly him out // cancel him and let him go

xxii. strangers like me (tammy tuckey)

i want to know // can you show me // i want to know about these strangers like me

xxiii. simple joys (patina miller)

sweet summer evenings // hot wine and bread // sharing your supper, sharing your bed // simple joys have a simple voice // that says "why not go ahead?"

xxiv. morning glow (matthew james thomas & ensemble)

morning glow all day long // while we sing tomorrow's song // never knew we could be so strong // but now it's very clear // morning glow is almost here

xxv. i won't say i'm in love (carrie hope fletcher)

if there's a prize for rotten judgement // i guess i've already won that // no man is worth the aggravation

xxvi. illicit affairs (taylor swift)

don't call me kid, don't call me baby // look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // you showed me colors you know I can't see // with anyone else

xxvii. you belong with me (taylor swift)

i remember you driving to my house // in the middle of the night // i'm the one who makes you laugh // when you know you're about to cry

*Version not available on Spotify

[agender-wolfie]

Fem is not the default for fanfics and it’s not a woman’s only space. It’s also disrespectful not to tag your shit ☺️

[redpool]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[annieqattheperipheral]

behold all your fave players' fave interview:

holy goobers i was not expecting that winner by that score but hells yea boyo!

(more w yandle)

spoilers:

[my-death-trip]

I AM THE KING OF MY OWN CASTLE

[ares857]

internet find

If you want this project to continue, you can use the Paypal donation button on the web page of the blog. Any donation is welcome.

[double-hoe-seven]

May the gods grant me the strength and self restraint to not smack doctor jacob upside the head for those snarky comments and his whole attitude during the game.

[masterthespianduchovny]

I do not dislike Michelle Keller, formerly Michelle Lasso, but I do dislike how the series and most fans either refuse to criticize her or defend her.

I understand that fans, esp women, are compelled to defend Michelle because she’s a woman and women are overly criticized and dragged unnecessarily at times. I get that. However, there would be think pieces about Michelle is she were Michael. And I truly hate this current trend of pretending everything is different when it’s a woman involved.

It’s quite strange how people are so sad for Ted being made to feel like he’s too much—hmm, I wonder who made him feel that way—and are rooting for him to have a happy ending with someone who accepts him as he is. Then when you directly criticize Michelle, it’s a ton of excuses about how separation/divorce is hard, Ted wouldn’t be transparent with her, and so forth.

While this is true, intentionally or not, Michelle still hurt Ted in a major way. And, I don’t know about you all, but I believe you should still apologize for hurting someone even if it wasn’t intentional.

Michelle became short tempered with him and had an issue whenever he tried to do things for her. While her reaction wasn’t malicious, there’s nothing wrong with, “hey, I know you meant well. I just—it’s hard being around you and having this life with you when I don’t even feel like I know you. I shouldn’t have lashed out. You didn’t deserve that.”

Boom!

This NEVER happens.

Michelle never has to take any accountability for the things she’s down, which we know has a major effect on Ted. Essentially, people are arguing he deserved that treatment all while saying, “poor Ted.”

Michelle making Ted feel bad for saying “I love you.” I understand Michelle was going through her own shit, but Christ! Would we defending her if the genders were switched? I’ll need to rewatch the episode to really dig into that, but it felt unnecessarily cruel even if she didn’t intend for it to be so.

Someone will correct me on this, but Michelle and ted separate in February and by March of that same year she’s pushing for ted to sign divorce papers. It’s not like he’s a busy man or anything??? Literally most divorces, esp considering how long they’d been married, take a while to happen. Ted fucking granted her the divorce without her even asking and was kind about the entire thing and Michelle is pushing for a divorce within the month.

Is that not strange?

I honestly think this was just a bad writing choice, but my God, I can’t imagine the discourse if Ted was a woman—Thea. And how “Michael” would be dragged for that and people speculating that either they were cheating or wanted to be with new and different women. Not even accounting for how some would relate to “Thea” and how their ex did them dirty.

But again, we can’t talk about that. No matter how fucked up that was, NOPE!

And this recent shit. I don’t even know.

I don’t know if it’s a case of poor writing or not because I don’t think the series is going to go there. Meaning I don’t think the series is going to say Dr. Jacobs groomed Michelle. But let’s keep in mind that he was her therapist originally, and then their marriage counselor. He was the one who fueled Ted’s dislike of therapists and always sided with Michelle. I don’t think Ted even felt like he could be heard.

When Dr. Jacobs realizes it’s Ted, he freezes as if being caught. As if he was cheating with Michelle. Even Michelle is acting suspicious as fuck. There’s no, “I didn’t want him to find out about this, he may take it hard.” It felt like they’d both done something they were supposed to be doing. Both come off as guilty as hell.

Do I think the actually had an affair?

No.

Or maybe it was an emotional affair.

But people love to skip over the shit Michelle does (or inadvertently blame Ted) and it’s fucking annoying. Not necessarily because they don’t pay attention to her, but because the discussion around her behavior when they actually engage with it is either brushing off what she does or defending it.

[bibliothekara]

I really want to applaud Andrea Anders for that last wordless expression in Ted Lasso 3x04. My reading:

Michelle felt hurt, and called out (maybe for a decision she also has complex feelings about, maybe feels like a mistake in how she handled it )

but that kind of wistful smile I think was also, “wow, that is real progress for Ted, something I wish he could have done earlier, but I’m happy for him that he can”

Like, I am certain that even if she may not want to be married to him again, she cares about Ted- seeing him miserable is not what she wants, even if she knows intimately the reasons he can’t do things like it that often

[alexxmason]

Hanged Man || Chapter 16: Through Rose Colored Glasses.

AO3 || Masterlist Pairing: Jacob Seed x Deputy Teagan Reyes Summary:The deputy gains clarity at Joseph's service. Faith visits the enforcer. Word count: 7200+

Warnings: heavy violence, blood mention, gun violence, minor character deaths, (forced) drowning. SOME FLUFF THO!

A/N: thanks to @hoesephseed for reading this over and supporting me through my ramblings and bs. I had to cut this short, but this is a rough ride even, and the future will be too. Enjoy and excuse errors. 💕

It was a usual morning, even for their planned strange Saturday mass, set in the Holland Valley at an old church the Project didn’t use anymore. 

Teagan didn’t sleep well. Her emotions and anger ran wildly through her mind, but a routine morning walk helped. Only a bit. 

 Her cold mother’s words and the strange encounter with the Eden’s Gate Enforcer fueled her unsettled mind. 

 When she came home, the sound of oil on a skillet and the smell of breakfast filled her lungs when she took in the comforting scent. Jacob was preparing a morning meal for them before their possibly busy day.

 Thankful for the food, Teagan sat at the counter. “You’re just turning into the regular househusband, aren’t you?”

 “Maybe I just enjoy keeping things in order. I can be nice since you work so hard.” Jacob teased her when he joined her. Pointing her plate to go on eating.

 Tearing into the breakfast sandwich, the fried egg bursting when she bit down, and the wonderful combination of the runny yolk and bacon almost washed away her worries.

 With a hum of satisfaction, Teagan responded, “Well, I have to work hard; someone has to bring home the bacon. Sure as hell ain’t daddy..”

 Jacob laughed, “I know, baby, the least I can do in return is cook you a meal. Make sure you stay strong and healthy. All that training can only do so much,” he said when he flung a hand towel over his shoulder before turning his back to her and waltzing to her living space.

Teagan rolled her eyes and continued her breakfast. Sipping her coffee before she said, “You know I take care of myself all the time.”

 “I don’t doubt it, Teagan. But you can humor me.” 

 Just as she was finishing, she heard her stereo system come on. The old one her father gifted her, or just wanted to get rid of it, turning on and Jacob. Fiddling with the knobs. Wiping any dust down, he saw till he found just the right song. 

 It was an older song, an INXS song that he enjoined himself. 

 Jacob motioned her to him. Told Teagan to join him for just a moment. She only rolled her eyes, “What are you doing?”

 “I’m trying to have a moment,” the Soldier smiled, “I need to show you some moves.”

 The flush on Teagan’s freckled cheeks grew, and she dragged her feet when she walked over to her old man, “I have more rhythm in my left foot than you think. You should know.”

 “Eh, I’m old, remember? Remind me.” He responded when he stepped behind her. 

 Jacob’s hands slid under her arms, lifting them a bit and out. Like Christ on the cross, only the wood was swaying behind him.

 Don't ask me

What you know is true

Don't have to tell you

I love your precious heart

 The smooth beat to the rhythm, Never Tear Us Apart, guides them. Teagan moved her hips with Jacob’s movements.

 She smiled when his hands slid down to her hips. Moving and swaying to the beat of the music. 

I was standing

You were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never tear us apart

 Before he could get any ideas, she sighed softly against his cheek, “Jacob, I’d like a shower first.”

 “In a moment,” he was so focused on Teagan. On their rhythm. 

We could live

For a thousand years

But if I hurt you

I'd make wine from your tears

 Jacob always was a music lover. One of her favorite qualities about him. 

 Their song goes on. And Teagan thought about Jacob and their last year or so. She didn’t find peace but confidence and strength. Jacob never belittled her, doubted her, or constricted her. 

 He just pushed her a little when Teagan needed it.

 Before the two can get lost in the music filling their minds and their swaying. Teagan told Jacob, “Maybe if your fast enough cleaning up, you can join me in the shower.”

 “Fuck the cleaning,” he responded, turning her around to throw Teagan over his shoulder as she laughed and to the shower.

 After their not surprisingly long shower, the deputy pulled her hair up and twirled the curls into a bun. Small loose curls framed her face as she continued getting ready, slipping into a long sleeve red henley and some jeans. She pulled down the sleeves a bit, avoiding the faint scars from her encounter with Nelson so long ago. It was easier to pretend she couldn’t pay attention to the scars.

 She noticed Jacob’s eyes on her, sighing to himself as he dressed himself. Dressing into his military fatigues from the clean basket of clothes. 

  “As pretty as you always are, you’re not gonna sport that uniform?” Jacob asked, referring to the shoddy and militant outfit his hunters wore.

  Teagan shook her head, “Not my style,” she answered, “I’m sure the boss will forgive me this once.”

   “Are you so sure he’s forgiving?” Jacob grinned as he stepped closer to her. Standing over her, she sat at the edge of the bed and nodded with a smile. He brushed her freckled cheeks and nose with his rough fingertips to kiss her. Leaning down and pressed his lips to hers.

  She felt the slight tickle of his mustache on her skin, something she had grown so accustomed to. 

  As she sighed and peered up at him, her dark eyes meeting his, Teagan asked him again, “What was the reason for the service today?”

  Jacob shrugged and chuckled softly, “Maybe John wanted to shake things up. Maybe he just wanted to piss you off.” 

  His baby brother made a point for the deputy to be there. Likely to make a show of power or just pick at her some more.

  Teagan didn’t know and didn’t care, pathetic prick.

  She was still enraged with his behavior the day prior and heavy with her own mother’s words and her encounter with Thomas. 

 So much more uncertainty with her place in Hope County. She didn’t feel welcome like before. Her brother was gone, and her mother and father had grown distant from her. Thomas. Nelson Rhodes. 

  It was just Jacob that made her enjoy being in that hellish hick place.

 Teagan foolishly pulled her man by the belt, almost tempting him, “Why don’t we just stay home? And just lay in bed all day.”

  The soldier leaned down to her, putting a hand on her chest and carefully pushing her to her back, “As tempting as that sounds, we’re expected.”

  When she let out a little pouting whine, Jacob pressed into her. He embraced her and kissed her deeply after;  said, “I’m sure we won’t be missed.”

  “Hopefully, it won’t be long,” Jacob kissed her cheek and jaw. Planting small kisses on her neck, “Well, we don’t have to be on time?”

  Teagan smiled and mewled when she felt his hands moving up her shirt while he nipped her neck, “Don’t forget you mentioned something about camping and focus training?”

 His hands ran up her sides and to her bra, smiling against her skin. Still putting kisses to her soft skin. Just pull it down enough to massage her skin.

 Teagan gripped his red hair tightly, moaning softly with his kisses and light sucking along her skin.

_____________________________________________

  The odd couple wasn’t as late as they thought they would be. 

  They were at an unfamiliar location or one unknown to her. A church Teagan had never been to. The bright sun illuminated the crisp white paint peeling from the years of worn and worship. Or just cheap.

  It wasn’t very packed. Some chosen Teagan recognized ones she had tussled with during Jacob’s training; she noticed a few others.

  “It’s a bit dead, right?” But Teagan asked Jacob as she held onto his arm, “I thought it’d be more packed.”

  But he didn’t give much of an answer. Jacob seemed just as confused.

   His blue eyes scanned the room as they stepped inside the church; old and worn, Jacob just shrugged, “Better this way. Means everyone’s working hard.”

  A small scoff slipped out, and Teagan rolled her eyes.

  Jacob left her one at the tall, bright windows illuminating the dark room.

 There were no light fixtures, and the pews seemed older than the compound's. Just a large Eden’s Gate flag backdrop at the end of the church where Joseph stood with his brothers. Speaking to John so hushed and closed his eyes while he shook his head. Some shame in his gaze, but John’s wicked smile made Teagan think otherwise.

   As Teagan tried to make sense of whatever John was mouthing, she jumped when she felt a slim hand wrap around hers. Big and lovely rings on the ring, middle, and index fingers; rings that have come across Teagan’s face once. Or twice.

  Magdalena. 

  “Good morning, mamas,” her mother gave her a firm smile. Then, her dark eyes snapped to a pew next to them, “Sit with your mother.”

  A deep heaviness grew in Teagan’s throat as she sat per her mother’s instruction. Just the two of them in the row while others scattered to their own seats.

  Again, her eyes wandered as she took notes of the people at the Saturday mass. Mainly looking for Jacob to save her.

 He was just off on the other side, in the back, standing with John as they spoke quietly. Jacob seemed just as tense as Joseph, while John smiled like a proud child. 

 Jacob just grinned at her. Maybe to be a comfort as she hated sitting with her mother. 

 While she sat with her, they made small talk. Her mom commented on keeping her curls up while her own braided. Magdalena fussed and brushed her curls out when Teagan took down her hair. 

 Teagan asked about her father, and Magdalena only said he wasn’t feeling well.

 Magdalena spoke about her uncle’s distillery as Teagan scanned the old chapel. It was almost empty compared to other services. Joseph could pack a house, and this day had such few folks. And many had a rifle by them.

 Teagan noticed it quickly. It was odd. Usually, only guards were armed. Not the flock.

 Something in Teagan’s belly stirred, and she felt confused. 

 As Joseph addressed and welcomed his flock, Teagan jumped when she heard the doors slamming closed.

 Joseph’s chosen, armed to the teeth. Prepared like guard dogs.

 Rough and unruly looking ones. 

 Her mother’s hand gripped hers tightly to keep her still, “Did you apologize to John?”

 “What? You’re not serious,” Teagan snapped quietly. She noted a Chosen on the other side of the room, to the far right, carefully going down the aisle along the big bright windows. 

 Teagan didn’t take her eyes off her surroundings, even her mother reprimanding her. 

 “You were out of line!” Magdalena scolded the young hunter in a hushed whisper, “You struck him when he has been good to you and your family. And what did Jacob think?”

 “Jacob didn’t care.” Teagan snapped, “Besides, shouldn’t you be more worried about some random man harassing me all the time.”

Her mother only scoffed and dismissed it. Teagan only said, “Fine. Maybe he is not actively bothering me, but he messes with me every chance he gets.” Then she thought it had to do something with Thomas and how John envied him.

 “Must not bother Jacob since John is ‘messing’ with you so much.” The petty words from her own mother silenced Teagan.

 She could hear Joseph at the front of the church. She was only half listening; her focus was split between her mother and the armed men on either side of the church. She noticed Jacob on the other side of the room. Toward the back, his own eyes watching his brother.

 Magdalena didn’t let up, “You think you’re so tough. Some combatiente, that’s your father raising you like a fighter and not like a lady.”

 When Teagan tried to cut her off, her mother stopped her. The older woman went on, still gripping Teagan’s hand as Joseph spoke about loyalty and strength; she whispered, “You need to curb your anger, your rage; we don’t get to have that luxury to lash out. We’re better than that. You’re better than that. Letting some man rile you up like that…” She scoffed and shook her head. Her brown, greying curls swaying, “¡Qué ridículo!”

 “Joseph did mention to me about you taking up Thomas’s place. An enforcer? I believe he said Jacob suggested it. I don’t know if it’s best. I told him you should be with me.” Magdalena went on. 

 But Teagan turned it out. She didn’t want to think about Thomas. Or even his job; Teagan didn’t know what that was if she was honest. Thomas was secretive, and she just assumed it was a security role. But considering what it did to them, Teagan would make sure to tell Jacob and Joseph she was uninterested if Teagan had the choice. 

 It wasn’t the best time for Teagan to bicker with her mother. She didn’t reply; it was enough to satisfy Magdalena while she listened to Joseph’s words.

 “I have loved you all; I have embraced you children, and we are creating hope for our future together. But, unfortunately, we all suffer when one of our family strays and loses its way.” Joseph’s voice began to strain, “I have never turned away those sinners, those lost children, the ones that need our salvation. So many have found their way into our home. And have grown our cause in return. That is true loyalty, but not everyone is always grateful for our love.. We protect each other.”

 Teagan noticed one man in a grey shirt and a hat a few rows before her. She had never seen him before. He kept looking down when others were fixated on Joseph; it was his row the chosen had stopped at.

 “Mom,” Teagan quietly called to her mother, “Doesn’t something seem off?”

 The question caught her mother’s attention, and when Teagan explained the emptiness of the church and the strange influx of firearms, her mother nodded.

 Confused, Magdalena said, “That’s odd, yes. I don’t like rifles. Usually, it’s packed.”

 Saturday masses weren’t uncommon, but Joseph could pack the house even then.

 No one dared to miss his words. This was different. 

 Teagan patted her mother’s tense hand on hers, but before she could reassure her mother, a squirrely voice greeted the women.

 It was the Baptist. His dark hair slicked as usual and all cleaned up, grinning with pride as he said his hello, “Mrs. Reyes, I am surprised to see you here.” Magdalena returned the grin with a gentle and warm smile, “Yes! I heard there was a service, and I would never want to miss Joseph’s inspiring words; do you know why there are not many of our brothers and sisters here?”

 “And why does everyone seem to be armed?” Teagan inserted her observation, but John’s bright blue eyes only glanced at her. The same petty smirk he gave her when she smacked him for his snide remark.

 John gave her a quick and bitter smile, “Nothing that concerns you, dear. Locals are getting rowdy.” Magdalena just said Ay Dios, then went on talking about how the people of Hope County have no respect. 

 After John agreed with the older woman, he mentioned that his sister requested Magdalena’s services. They were missing a specific compound, and it was apparent that the scientist was needed wherever Faith was. Teagan never knew where this greenhouse was. She never cared.

 Magdalena looked to her daughter, her hand still holding hers, “You'll behave?”

 “Yes, mama.”

 Her mother nodded and kissed her daughter’s hand before leaving the row.

 John only smirked and sighed when he plopped down next to Teagan. Listening to Joseph’s sermon till he told Teagan, “How are you enjoying your weekend, Deputy Reyes?”

 Teagan ignored his question. Her eyes were still scanning the room and at the armed men. She excused herself, “I’m going to talk to Jacob.”

 “Oh, bored already? I suppose you should while you can,” was all he said as he waved Teagan away with a shit-eating grin. Proud and shady.

 The deputy just returned his gloating with a hateful stare, “I’m not bored. I just have no patience to deal with you.”

 When she quietly snaked out of her row, he was by the window as she joined him. Teagan hadn’t noticed that Jacob had made his way to her side of the church. 

 Standing at his side as he stood straight and tall, she peered up at him as Joseph gave a passionate speech about how his flock can only grow with loyalty and devotion. 

 Handsome, his red hair and beard bright as the sun shines through the old paned windows. His scars were more prominent in the light, but Teagan only reached for the scarred hand and held it.

 Jacob just eyed her when she said, “Is something going on?”

 He shook his head, so casual and nonchalant. Sighing, “No. Everything is as it should be.” His blue eyes snapped to hers, “You wanna get out of here?” 

 His question was odd, considering their conversation earlier, “I thought we were supposed to be here. Anyway, why is everyone strapped?”

 Again, he just shook his head. And said, “Let’s just go. Rather spend time with you before I get busy at the compound.”

 Strange. 

 “You wanted us to be here all morning; what’s changed?” the deputy pressed her man more.

 But he just said not now. And said again that they should just head home.

  Joseph took in a deep inhale when he lifted his hand to his small flock, the sunlight on him like a spotlight as he went on, “God demands we save those lost souls whether they want to be saved or not.” His hands dropped to his side, his fist balling tightly. 

 Teagan’s gaze fell on Joseph as he continued his sermon while waiting for her answer from Jacob.

 Again the Father spoke of his most faithful and how they protect their home. Then, his voice booming in the half empty church, he raised his other hand this time, “….and some will wish to harm us. Some will wish to destroy all that we have built here together.”

 Joseph’s voice softened but grew cold. Harsh when his eyes fell toward Teagan’s side of the church when he said, “And some will betray us.”

 As if his words were like a dinner bell, the chosen rows ahead moved quickly. Ripping the stranger from his place as he attempted to struggle, but a rifle to his cheek prevented that.

 His hat fell to the ground, and people screamed to grab him. To purge the sinner.

 Teagan’s dark eyes blew wide at the scene. Gasping quietly as the chosen hit the man again, John's quiet laugh diminished when he stood up from his seat and he ordered the soldiers to tie him and bring him to Joseph.

 Everything felt slow, time stopping as Teagan tried to rush to aid the stranger but felt a quick and tight grip on her arm. 

 Her broken and rapid breathing did nothing for her anxiety when she glanced down at the heavy hand around her bicep.

 Jacob. Her man had a firm hold on her and seethed through teeth, “Teagan. Don’t.”

 “Let go of me,” she pulled at her arm, but he didn’t release her, “What the fuck is going on?”

 She can hear Joseph’s flock shouting wind down when he said, “my children, please.” And the fighting stranger was brought to his knees in front of the father. The stranger's hands were tied behind his back, the deputy couldn’t see his face, but he kept it down from Joseph. 

 “Those in the outside world are blind.”

  Joseph reached out for the man while Teagan balled her fist and repeated bitterly, “Get the fuck off me right now, Jacob.” She looked back to the commotion, “What the fuck are they doing?!” Her voice began to rise when Jacob’s grip grew tighter.

 “They do not believe.”

 Her man didn’t let go. Instead, his other hand grabbed her other arm and held her tightly.

 He was cold and cruel when he ordered her, “This isn’t your fight. Stand down.”

 She tells him again, “Get your fucking hands off me, Jacob.” A deep, engulfing rage boiling when his grip just tightened, “You wanna fight me, Jacob?”

 He was quiet for a moment as he scanned her enraged eyes. Then lifted his chin and said, “Is that what you want? Cause I’ll let you take the first shot.” He answered almost immediately. His tone was bitter. 

 Her freckled face grew hot, “You know what happened to the last man that tried to hurt me?”

 The soldier’s hands still held her in place as she answered her, “Yeah, honey. I buried him.” A cold and terrible answer that shut the deputy up. 

 Teagan felt the familiar bubbling rage build and her face grew hot when she and Jacob kept their eyes locked.

 There was a coldness, a dark nature in his eyes and voice that Teagan had never witnessed; the church felt sick even, and Teagan, for the first time, didn’t feel the comfort Eden’s Gate provided. And she didn’t trust Jacob.

 A twisting and nauseous sensation built up more when she realized that she was afraid of him at that moment.

 Jacob’s hunter and the deputy didn’t move, though. Ignoring the silent mumbling of Joseph’s flock.

 The deputy didn’t want to break her focus from Jacob. She was afraid if she looked back just once, he could do anything to her. Could rush her. 

 “They have no faith.”

 Every instinct told Teagan to bite back, to shove her man to the whimpering stranger on his knees. Helpless while armed men stood over him at Joseph’s side while the pastor’s hands held the man’s face. Hushing him to calm the man’s frantic nature.

 But Teagan made the mistake of looking back at him. Her dark chocolate eyes snapped back and forth to Jacob’s stern gaze and to the commotion up at the front. 

 The yellow glasses hid the terrible look in the deranged preacher’s eyes when Joseph said, “But I will make them see,” and the tips of his thumbs pressed into the stranger’s eyes.

 Deputy Reyes watched in horror as Joseph shoved his thumbs into the man’s eyes with no emotion but a hateful grimace.

 The man’s cries and screams caused the small woman to grip Jacob’s fatigues, burying her hot face instinctively. Whimpering and gasping into Jacob’s chest as his grip grew tighter. Dark, soft curls fell to cover her cheeks. Like a blanket over her as she blocked out the terrible sounds.

 The sounds of the poor stranger’s screams slowly grew quieter, and a body dropped.

 When the stranger’s sounds ceased, the deputy was trembling and trying to keep in her broken gasps when she glanced down at Jacob’s holster. Eyeing his pistol.

 Everything in her, all her little voices and instincts, told her to grab it. She didn’t know what she could do with it. But she only thought of the still stranger at the front. And that Joseph was the cause of it.

 Joseph was at the root, but so many emotions began to stir and mostly ones of guilt. The guilt of not seeing sooner what was going on. John and Jacob’s calm nature, the hate and vague rumors against the Project. It all made sense. It made sense that she was stupid enough not to see the truth. And let herself be fooled and blinded.

 But she needed to act against the man with blood on his hands.

 Teagan hesitated to look at Jacob or Joseph. 

 Scarred hands still held her tightly, even when she found the courage to peek up through her curls. But Jacob was watching his brother. While eyes focused on Joseph, Teagan felt his chest rise with a deep breath against her palms. Inhaling and tensing his jaw, frustrated.

 She was a fool to look back. When she did, Teagan saw Joseph’s bloodied hands raised to the heavens. His expression was tender and grateful, as if God was praising him for his act.

 It was fucking nightmare. Teagan’s knees could buckle, and she collapsed and vomited there. She felt sick watching Joseph bask in his victory, John grinning like the devil, and Jacob’s tight hold.

 Her throat went dry; her stomach twisted when she finally looked up to Jacob.

 The blue eyes she’d grown to adore was dark and cold. His lips were tight when he instructed her, “I’m going to walk you out, calmly.”

 But Jacob should’ve known his woman better. Teagan didn’t move. She only stared up at him. Her dark eyes glared with growing resentment. Her lips parted enough to show her gritting her teeth together.

 Baring her teeth like a rabid dog when Jacob shook his head, “You won’t win this fight.”

 This wasn’t her man. This wasn’t the fabricated boyfriend she loved. And at that moment, Teagan had to act against this new foe. 

 “Get your hands off me, Jacob,” she said in a hushed order. Her eyes locked on Jacob’s when he told her again that she couldn’t do anything and she would lose this fight.

 “I’m doing this for your own protection,” He told her, “I knew you weren’t ready.”

 The last comment only enraged her, and Teagan acted quickly when she threw her knee as hard she could into Jacob’s crotch. Taking advantage when he let go of her arms and hunched down in pain, throwing her forehead into Jacob’s face. She could think of the now growing headache; she had to reach for Jacob’s firearm.

 Everything was a blur after that. When Teagan pulled the pistol from his hip, she didn’t waste time aiming at the Father.

 Her rage took over, and things went black. Teagan could hear shouting, and when she shot the gun, a hard strike to her cheek caused her to miss. 

 Wrestling with a Chosen soldier over the pistol as another went behind the deputy and lifted her up. Teagan shot the gun again, killing the man that tried to pry the weapon from her. 

 It did nothing; within seconds, the man behind her threw her to the ground while another held her hand to the floor. Ignoring her swears and threat when the man twisted her wrist till she dropped the firearm. 

 Teagan’s screams filled the church now, and she could hear some gasps but more so Joseph telling his flock, “Some of our brothers and sisters do not understand. They’re afraid. It’s our place to guide them..”

 Her throat would shred if she kept her shouting up. Whimpering and screaming, “Get the fuck off me!” while she kicked her feet. Pulling at her hands to throw her fist into the Chosen’s jaw, but it only freed her hand for the moment.

 Jacob was nowhere in her line of sight. She wanted to call and plead for him to help her, but she hated him. Hated him at that moment when she didn’t see him or when he held her tightly.

 Staring her down like a snake. Ready to devour her if she moved too quickly.

 There wasn’t any time to worry about Jacob when she saw John from the corner of her crying eyes.

 She swore she could hear him laugh, but she kept pulling at her hands and kicking her feet when she caught the glimpse of a knife.

 A knife that John seemingly played with when he opened it, standing with his men when he hunched down over the deputy. His tacky coat with plains trailed all over, hitting the ground. 

 A commanding voice echoed through the church as Joseph told his unsettled sheep, “Do not worry for our sister. I said some would betray us, and this is our example. Now, we must prepare. Prepare our loyal family for what’s to come.”

 When John waved the knife, Teagan never stopped trying to free her hands and feet, “Now listen, dear, I can’t promise this one will be painless if you keep squirming.” 

She was unsure what the fuck he was talking about, but it only terrified her more. 

 Teagan jumped when she heard a deep, booming, familiar voice, “John. That’s enough.”

 It was Jacob on the ground across them, some of his soldiers tending to his busted lip and bloodied nose. 

 He was huffing and panting to catch his breath, lazily demanding John to stop scaring Teagan.

 Still trembling and her lip shivering as she fought her sobs, Teagan watched John sheepishly collect himself. 

 Pushing back his loose hair, adjusting his shirt, and putting his knife away, “Yes, brother.”

 “Take her to the ranch,” Jacob said with a broken, tired sigh. 

 His hazed blue eyes caught Teagan’s burning dark eyes. They were hateful, tearing into his with the restatement. Fear. 

 Teagan kept her sobs in when she looked at Jacob. She wanted to be thankful, but she did not understand her situation. 

 She wanted just to weep. 

 When Joseph asked his church to join in a hymn, John took it as the go-ahead. Having his people grab Teagan’s limbs, carrying her out of the church as she screamed. 

 Yelling, “No!” and “Get your hands off me!” and more threats. None at Jacob. She couldn’t think of him.

_____________________________________________

 It was closing time at the Marina, and the owner and her young man made sure to head to town for a good night. 

 Naturally, Ms. Drubman tried to get Thomas to join them, but he just denied her. 

 He cleaned up the shop as usual. Hosing the docks down as the sun set on the Montana waters was comforting and serene.

 The atmosphere was just the right amount of cool and hot to allow him to wear a mesh crop top he had just purchased at a garage sale. 

 He was sure they gave it to him for .50 cents to get rid of him when they saw the tattoo on his forehead. His sins riddled along his deformed body. Thomas began to wear his ball cap backward to at least hide the tattoo as much as he could. To feel more normal. 

 It was the day James and Marshal were meant to gather more intel on Joseph. Thomas’s ticket out of Hope. And to make sure Teagan was safe out of harm's way. 

 So close. I’m still a good man. Just a bit longer. 

 The former peggie started looking up the California lifestyle, checking trades he could learn while incarcerated. He was almost excited to work on his GED inside. He even cut down his smoking. 

 He smiled to himself, thinking of all the possibilities his future could have. And just hoped his friend would be there. 

 Thomas owed her that much. 

 When he finished sweeping the floors and taking out the trash, he heard a knock on the door of the marina.

 Knocks grew more frantic the longer he took. When he looked out the glass, he saw the sweet familiar face of Faith Seed. 

 Her light brown locks flipped as she looked around her; she was shaken when she called out to Thomas.

 Thomas told her friend to hold on while he switched off the cameras. Adelaide would kill him if she saw Faith there. 

 “Faith! Are you okay?” He said as soon as she entered when he unlocked the door. Holding her flushed face. 

 Faith was panting rapidly, whimpering when she embraced Thomas, “Oh god! Tom! Something’s going on!”

 He offered her a seat and a drink of water to calm down, “Faith, are you okay? No one’s hurt you, right?” 

 The young woman shook her head. Taking in a deep breath before she spoke. Faith’s words were careful as she calmed down, “Oh, Tom. James is gone! He just disappeared!” 

 His face soured with confusion, twisting when she went on to say that James packed up with a woman and left town. 

 “I don’t understand! He’s gone but… oh god. He’s betrayed us, Tom.” She choked up a sob, “He brought the authorities here!”

 No, no, no. Fuck! No! Thomas’s face went white. He tried to keep a stone expression and to keep himself composed. What about the Marshal? 

 Tom wondered if she was there to beg him to bring James back. To put him down like he did Mr. Collins. 

 He could only guess as he asked, “What authorities, Faith? What are you talking about?” 

 Faith went on to tell Tom about the events at the church. Joseph attacked the Marshall, gouging his eyes out, and had him taken to Jacob’s armory. “He was there recording Joseph! He could’ve had some setup for all we know, and the police could have it.” She wiped the tears from her hot cheeks, “I’m so sorry to burden you. It’s just so scary to think about us losing our home.”

 Thomas didn’t say anything. He just bit his lip and exhaled. His hands shook as his anxiety built at the thought, my way out is gone. A US marshal is dead and the trail leads to me.

 He couldn’t shake his fears and worries when Faith embraced him, weeping and telling him she was afraid. 

 When she asked him why he was shaking, “I’m sorry, Faith. This all so much, and I’m sorry you’re so shaken. I just haven’t had a cigarette for a bit.”

 She laughed softly and smiled, “It’s okay. I’m sorry, too! But I have something else to tell you.”

 This is it. This is when she pins me as the rat. 

  Faith looked to the ground and stepped back, “It’s about Teagan..” 

 Any fear he had, tripled when he heard the name. And he grabbed Faith’s shoulders gently, leaning away to lock his gaze on her, “What about Teagan?”

 “She’s…. She went crazy! Teagan lost it at the church!” Faith started to throw her hands up. Her face red and her hands trembling, “She shot at Joseph and killed Benny! Teagan even attacked Jacob! It took four men to put her down!” 

 Faith's voice cracked with worry, and her hand caressed Tom’s pale face, “John took her to the ranch. I’m sorry.” 

 The ranch was a nightmare for anyone against the Project. John's torture and terrible acts on unfaithful and less cooperative souls were unspeakable. And Teagan was on her way there.

 A sour feel in Thomas’s belly and throat built at the thought, and he realized Faith. He almost wanted to collapse, “When did they send her there?”

 “Uh.. just a bit ago.” 

 “Ok. Ok, Faith. You know what John is. I need to get my stuff from the back, and I’ll head there.” Tom stammered and tried to calm himself, “You’ll come with me?”

 Faith’s thumbs picked at each other, “Do you think that’s wise?” 

 She jumped when he shouted her name and shuddered a “Please. She doesn’t deserve that.” 

 The young woman nodded and said okay. He hugged her tightly and thanked her. Kissing her forehead gratefully and telling Faith he’d be right back. 

 Rushing to the back of the store, to the bait room where they kept tubs of minnows and goldfish. Tom quickly grabbed his backpack and stuffed his grey sweatshirt inside, his hat, and nicotine gum. He heard the front door bell when he reached for the keys to lock up.

 He had called out to Faith, asking her if she was there. But it was a tall wormy face bastard that answered. 

 Jordan Hayes stepped into the bait room, grinning from ear to ear, “Hello, brother. Been a while.” A deep scar was heavy across his cheek when Teagan smashed her cast on his face. 

 Tom shook his head with a bitter smirk, “Fuck. She played me?” He asked, tossing his backpack to the ground, “what is it, Jordan?”

 “Dues,” Jordan quickly answered. The tank standing tall when another two chosen stepped into the bait room.

 Hayes glanced around the room, “You seem like you're in your element. Bottom feeding in the trash like the little rat you are.”

 “Fuck you,” Thomas snapped at Jordan, taunting him “This all some trick to fucking kill me? Do you really need three assholes to do it? That’s sad.”

 There was silence for a moment. The only sound was the filter to the bait tanks going. The innocent fish were oblivious to their hostile environment while the Peggies were staring down their cornered brother.

 “You seem to have forgotten you owe John a favor,” Jordan laughed, and Thomas bit down the urge to rush him. 

 It took Thomas everything not to beat Jodan’s face in when Tom told him to fuck off.

 “Apparently, you owe John for getting your little deputy out of trouble,” Jordan said as he picked at some dirt under his nails, “What our Faith said was true. James bailed with some woman ratting to some cop. The nerve to bring him to the church too, but we knew about that.” A slight grimace appeared on Jordan’s face when he brought up Teagan, hate in his voice when he touched a nasty scar on his face, “And Ms. Reyes is… Incapacitated at the moment.”

 Thomas felt his blood boil and cut Jordan off, pointing to his former brothers, “Enough of this shit. Why are you here?” 

 A foolish question. Tom knew why they were there. Another hunting trip, hunting his friend. Taking James and the reporter out of the picture. And Jordan confirmed it, “Joseph and John have requested you seek out James and this stranger. And… do what you do best.”

  “No,” Tom was firm. He was out, and he refused to bloody his hands anymore for the sake of Eden’s Gate.

It seemed that Hayes was anticipating Thomas’s answer. Jordan looked to his two other companions with a slight smirk, and he hummed to himself, “You see, John was sure you’d refuse. So there is an unpaid debt.. And I have been instructed to make sure it is cleared.” A life for a life. James or Thomas. He couldn’t worry for Teagan yet. He had to hope that Jacob kept her breathing. Tom knew that this was his death sentence. And Joseph assumed he would kill in his name and beg for his forgiveness.

 “Well… John should’ve come himself for this.”

 Jordan shrugged, “Busy..” he let out a deep exhale before scratching his unruly beard before he stepped out of the doorway. The other chosen followed suit, “If you refused your dues and after the kindness the family has shown you, you know what comes next.” After Selena and Rose, the Seeds had no more room for pity. Thomas had to accept it. His life was nothing, he had no future now that Marshall was killed. James could have a future still.

 Hesitant, Thomas stepped forward as the Peggies moved away from the door. Letting him through, only Thomas wasn’t ready to die. Not at the hands of some cultists. 

 When he felt a hand from the shorter chosen reach grab his shoulder, Tom took the chance to throw his elbow into the man’s nose. Shoving him back while throwing a punch into the other lackey’s jaw. Another one quickly before he could fight back. 

 Thomas was fast, and when Jordan grabbed his shirt, he was thankful the thin mesh fabric ripped.

 Tom stumbled a bit when Jordan pulled him, but it didn’t stop him from rushing him. Getting the upper when Jordan struggled to stay on his feet. And slid back on the slick tile, falling on his back. 

 Quick to take the chance, Tom dropped down. Grabbing Jordan’s shirt collar and slamming his tight fist into the man’s face. 

 Over and over, each heavy hit was anger and frustration being released. Tom’s hands going for Jordan’s neck. 

 He felt Jordan’s hands reach you to his face. His sweaty blonde locks fell down as Jordan tried to claw at his flushed face. His neck. Anything as he struggled to breathe. 

 Everything that Thomas had gone through, his pain and suffering, came pouring out when he tightened his grip around Jordan’s throat.

 Tom fought the tears in his eyes from the built up emotion. 

One of the chosen slammed his rifle into Tom’s back and pulled him by his blond hair off Jordan, causing the young man to fall to the side. 

 Tom fell onto one of the bait tanks, the sweet little minnows swimming frantically from the sudden impact. As he tried to pick himself up with his hands on the sides of the open tubs, he felt one of them grab his wrist and his head. Trying to shove him down into the water. 

 When a steady hand slipped, Tom lost his balance. His face was inches from the water before he heard the smug voice behind him. 

 Jordan called a rat motherfucker and assisted his soldier, pushing Tom’s head into the tank. 

 The water was colder than he imagined. An Immediate panic sank in and he began to frantically trash. Trying to push back from the hold, trying to throw his one free hand back against anything.

 But his panicking and fighting back did nothing to save him. It felt like time was slipping by as he began to struggle to keep his breath. His mind slipping away as he tried to fight it, trying to keep awake as the men kept his head under the water.

 Little minnows swimming so excitedly around him. As if terrified while Tom’s fighting started to cease, and his body grew slack as his blue eyes closed as he slipped away. 

 When his body went limp, the three Peggies let go of him. Tom’s body drops to the ground, a puddle of water built up from the fighting and now from Tom’s wet body. 

 Jordan’s bloodied nose and swelling lip aching him. He shoved one of the men when they snickered and said, “Tom always was a fighter.”

 “Throw him in the River. Let him be someone else’s find,” Jordan commanded the men. Proud of himself. Killing Joseph’s favorite, Faith’s favorite. The brother that everyone loved but Thomas was nobody. Jordan cared. He dedicated his life and riches to the project, while Tom was only loved for his pretty smile.

 It was Jordan’s turn for that praise and love.

 “It’s done, Sister,” Jordan told Faith when he stepped outside.

 Faith was weeping and sobbing. She didn’t want to hear how Jordan did it, “He was a good man.” She smiled as tears poured down her face. Jordan fought the urge to cradle the young Seed. She would move on and see this as a show of his devotion.

 One of the chosen rushed out of the store, “Sister Faith! It’s.. well, Thomas is still breathing a bit.” 

 Faith looked at Jordan, shocked and disappointed. A small rage in her face as she glared at the anxious chosen.

 Faith collected herself and lifted her face. Her sweet face turned red as she scowled when she ordered her men, “Take him back to the bunker. I’ll handle this..” 

[there-are-many-ways-to-smile]

Ted Lasso is an amazing show, my only problem was Dr. Jacob Bryanson |<Ted’s and his ex wife couple therapist>| dating Michelle Keller, the show brought up it was unethical but that isn’t enough for me, one can’t help but to think if Jacob could have been sabotaging the relationship a bit. So he could put the moves on Michelle. I just think it’s so icky of him to be dating one of his patient’s. I don’t care how much time has passed. It’s unprofessional, weird and I hate it.

[agender-wolfie]

I’ve noticed something

Fem reader fics: ✨💖Romance, lovey dovey, smut, 💖❤️

Gender neutral reader fics: 😢 Angst, sadness, mean reader, sterile, platonic 💀 ☠️

[andybondurant]

New Post has been published on Andy Bondurant

New Post has been published on https://andybondurant.com/2022/08/23/is-the-wilderness-gods-punishment/

Is the wilderness God’s punishment?

I’ve written about the experience of a spiritual wilderness before. You can find them here, here and here (not to mention the series I just wrote about quitting). Indulge me as I write about it again. First, let me give two quick thoughts about the wilderness, and then I want to share two ways you can prepare to walk through your next wilderness.

2 Quick Thoughts on the Wilderness

First, spiritual wilderness is real. It’s not a matter of if you will enter the wilderness but when. Yet isn’t it always a surprise when we find ourselves there. We know (at least we are aware) the wilderness will come, but we don’t ever expect it.

Second, the wilderness experience isn’t a one time event. Not only will you go through the wilderness once in your life, but you will go through it multiple times. Just because you were in the wilderness last year doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself back there today. Pastor Tim Keller said it like this, 

“Life never goes, except for a few years at a time, the way you want…”

Tim Keller

2 Ways to Prepare for the Wilderness

So, here are two ways prepare yourself for the wilderness. 

1. Remind yourself that the wilderness isn’t a punishment. 

God uses the wilderness to refine you. The wilderness is to prepare you for something more, greater. I was reminded of this when walking through a devotion series last year by Chris Symes. This is what she had to say:

“…if you’re facing a wilderness in your life, know that God does not have you there to punish you. He is not neglecting you; He hasn’t forgotten you.” 

Chris Syme

Our tendency is to be short-sighted. We miss the big picture. God has more for you. He does. What you are facing in your life right now – good or bad – isn’t forever. It is for this moment, and it is for a reason.

God isn’t punishing you; He is refining and preparing you for bigger things.

2. Remind yourself of when God brought you through the wilderness in the past. 

The Jewish people had a curious habit of building monuments or altars when leaving the physical wilderness behind. Among others, you can find examples in the stories of Jacob, Moses and Joshua. These monuments weren’t to remind them of how bad life was, but of how it was God who led them through the wilderness. At times, it felt like they were alone, abandoned and forgotten, but in fact God had been with them all along.

What monuments can you built to remind yourself of the times you were led through and out of the wilderness?

First, as painful as it might be, bring it to mind a past wilderness experience in your life. Next, create your monument. Here are a few ways to practically make a monument: Write about it. Take a picture representing this moment. Tell a friend about the experience. Plant a garden or tree. Hang a piece of art on your wall.

99 Balloons: My Monument

The picture of the balloons in this post is one of my monuments. In fact, scrolling through my Instagram feed, I found one monument after another. In this case, the picture was from the balloon release at the funeral of a good friend from high school. He passed away from a rare and aggressive cancer. He was 38 years old with a wife and two young sons. 

At the same time, I was in the midst of a massive transition in my life. I didn’t know it, but I was about to enter back into ministry. Leading up to that decision (exactly when this picture was taken), I was questioning quite a bit in my life. Everything I had built and known to that point was falling apart. Professionally, Kia and I were both at a crossroads. Financially, we were treading water. Family relationships were strained to the breaking point. 

I was in a wilderness.

Now, I look back at that picture and the memories flood back through my mind. The funeral. My state of mind and spirit. The questions. The heartache. The fear. Then I flash forward 10 years…and I’m amazed at where God has brought me. He has redeemed so much of that pain in helpful and useful ways. That picture is a monument to what God has done in my life. 

He did it then. He can do it now. He will do it tomorrow.

God isn’t punishing you. He’s preparing you for something more and better, so build your monuments – remind yourself of how good God has been in your life.

[equalv]

German tv shows with lgbt* characters

I think it can be quite hard to find queer german tv shows, so I thought I‘d compile a list with the ones that I have watched so far.

✪  = queerness is centered in this show

A-Z

1899 (2022) (mlm) | Netflix | international 

Ángel (Miguel Bernardeau) 

Ramiro (José Pimentão)

Krester (Lucas Lynggaard Tønnesen)

All you need (2021-) (mlm) | ZDF | ✪

Vince (Benito Bause)

Robbie (Frédéric Brossier)

Levo (Arash Marandi)

Tom (Mads Hjulmand)

Andreas (Tom Keune)

Barbaren (2020-) (mlm) | Netflix

Marbod (Murathan Muslu)

Flavus (Daniel Donsky)

Beat (2018) (mlm) | Prime Video

Beat (Jannis Niewöhner) 

Becoming Charlie (2022-) (trans, mlm, wlw) | ZDF | ✪

Charlie (Lea Drinde)

Ronja (Sira-Anna Faal)

Mirko (Antonije Stankovic)

Blutige Anfänger (2020-) (mlm) | ZDF, YT

Michael Kelting (Werner Daehn)

Dr. Claas Steinebach (Martin Bretschneider)

Bruno Pérez (Martin Peñaloza Cecconi)

Phillip Schneider (Eric Cordes)

Charité (2017-) (wlw, mlm) | Netflix

Schwester Therese (Klara Deutschmann)

Otto Marquardt (Jannik Schümann)

Martin Schelling (Jacob Matschenz)

Dark (2017-2020) (wlw, mlm, trans) | Netflix

Peter Doppler (Stephan Kampwirth)

Bennie Wöller (Anton Rubtsov)

Doris Tiedemann (Tamar Pelzig/Luise Heyer)

Agnes Nielsen (Helena Pieske/Antje Trauer)

Deutschland 83/86/89 (2015-2020) (wlw, mlm) | Prime Video

Alex Edel (Ludwig Trepte)

Prof. Tobias Tischbier (Alexander Beyer)

Lenora Rauch (Maria Schrader)

Rose Seithathi (Florence Kasumba)

Dogs of Berlin (2018) (mlm) | Netflix

Erol Birkan (Fahri Yardim)

Guido Mack (Sebastian Achilles)

Dr. Klein (2014-2019) (mlm) | Netflix

Patrick Keller (Leander Lichti)

Kaan Gül (Karim Günes)

DRUCK (2018-) (wlw, mlm, trans) | YT | ✪

Fatou Jallow (Sira-Anna Faal)

Matteo Florenzi (Michelangelo Fortuzzi)

Zoe Machwitz (Madeleine Wagenitz)

Kieu My Vu (Nhung Hong)

Isi Inci (Eren M. Güvercin)

David Schreibner (Lukas von Horbatschewsky)

Yara Aimsakul (Elena Plyphalin Siepe)

Hans Brecht (Florian Appelius)

Eldorado KaDeWe – Jetzt ist unsere Zeit (2021-) (wlw) | ARD

Heidi Kron (Valerie Stoll)

Fritzi Jandorf (Lia von Blarer)

How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast) (2019-) (wlw) | Netflix

Fritzi (Leonie Wesselow)

Gerda (Luna Baptiste Schaller)

Kitz (2021) (mlm) | Netflix

Kosh Ziervogel (Zoran Pingel)

Hans Gassner (Ben Felipe)

Ku‘damm 56/59/63 (2016-2021) (mlm) | ZDF

Wolfgang von Boost (August Wittgenstein)

Hans Liebknecht (Andreas Pietschmann)

Der Kroatien Krimi/Split Homicide (2016-) (wlw) | ARD

Stascha Novak (Jasmin Gerat)

Loving Her (2021) (wlw) | ZDF | ✪

Hanna (Banafshe Hourmazdi)

Holly (Bineta Hansen)

Franzi (Lena Klenke)

Lara (Emma Drogunova)

Josephine (Karin Hanczewski)

Anouk (Larissa Sirah Herden)

Sarah (Soma Pysall)

Mord mit Aussicht (2018-2022) (wlw) | Netflix

Bärbel Schmied (Meike Droste)

Neumatt (2021-) (mlm) - Switzerland | Netflix

Michi Wyss (Julian Koechlin)

Joel Bachmann (Benito Bause)

Polizeiruf 110 (1971-) (queer/gnc) | ARD

Frankfurt/Świecko

Vincent Ross (Andre Kaczmarczyk)

SOKO Leipzig (2001-) (mlm) | ZDF

Moritz Brenner ( Johannes Hendrik Langer )

Tatort (1970-) (mlm, wlw) | ARD

Berlin

Robert Karow (Mark Waschke)

Hamburg

Julia Grosz (Franziska Weisz)

Saarbrücken

Esther Baumann (Brigitte Urhausen)

Wien

Meret Schande (Christina Scherrer)

Vorstadtweiber (2015-) (mlm) – Austria

Georg Schneider (Jürgen Maurer)

Joachim Schnitzler (Phillip Hochmair)

WIR (2021-) (wlw) | ZDF

Annika Baer (Eva Maria Jost)

Helena Kwiatkowski (Katharina Nesytowa)

Wendland (2023-) (wlw) | ZDF

Kira Engelmann (Paula Kalenberg)

Birthe (?)

Queer Eye Germany (2022) (mlm, nblm, trans) | Netflix

Avi Jakobs

Leni Bolt

Ayan Yuruk

Jan-Henrik Scheper-Stutke

Aljosha Muttardi

Notes: I may have forgotten to add some characters, because for most of the shows it has been some time since I last watched them. Please let me know if you want me to add a character or even show:)

[brokehorrorfan]

Originally due out on December 12, The Ring Collection has been delayed to March 19 to provide "additional time to the restoration team to create the best possible brand-new 4K transfer of The Ring, as supervised by director Gore Verbinski."

Scream Factory's 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray box set will collect all three US films based on the 1998 Japanese horror classic Ringu: 2002’s The Ring, 2005’s The Ring Two, and 2017’s Rings.

The Ring is directed by Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl) and written by Ehren Kruger (Scream 3). Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, Brian Cox, David Dorfman, and Daveigh Chase star.

The Ring Two is directed by Hideo Nakata (Ringu) and written by Ehren Kruger. Naomi Watts, Simon Baker, David Dorfman, Elizabeth Perkins, Sissy Spacek, and Daveigh Chase star.

Rings is directed by F. Javier Gutierrez (Before the Fall). and written by David Loucka (House at the End of the Street), Jacob Estes, and Akiva Goldsman (I Am Legend). Matilda Lutz, Alex Roe, Johnny Galecki, Aimee Teegarden, Bonnie Morgan, and Vincent D'Onofrio star.

Both the theatrical and unrated cuts of The Ring Two are included. Special features are in progress and will be announced at a later date.

The Ring:

It begins as just another urban legend – the whispered tale of a nightmarish videotape that causes anyone who watches it to die seven days later. But when four teenagers all meet with mysterious deaths exactly one week after watching just such a tape, investigative reporter Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) tracks down the video … and watches it. Now, the legend is coming true, the clock is ticking, and Rachel has just seven days to unravel the mystery of The Ring.

The Ring Two:

Hoping to leave their terrifying experiences in Seattle behind them, Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) and her son, Aidan (David Dorfman), move to the small town of Astoria, Oregon. When Rachel learns of an unexplained murder which occurred after a teenager watched a strange videotape with his girlfriend, she suspects her past is following her.

Rings:

When a radical college professor (Johnny Galecki) finds the mysterious video rumored to kill viewers seven days after watching it, he enlists his students in a dangerous experiment to uncover the secrets behind the Samara legend. When the deadly video goes viral, they must figure out a way to break the curse and defeat Samara before her evil is unleashed upon the world. But how do you stop her when she’s everywhere?

Pre-order The Ring Collection.