#Jalapeno Records

[britishhiphop]

The Allergies ft. Ohmega Watts - No Flash [Video]

Continuing a new gold run of releases, The Allergies are back with a video for the latest rap banger No Flash from their forthcoming album. Spitting over the hard funk backing veteran New York MC Ohmega Watts gets busy on the mic. No Flash is out now on Jalapeno Records. The single is taken from The Allergies next album, Freak The Speaker, dropping on September 20th. The…

[funkypatoche]

(Jalapeno Records)

[fooltofancy]

i've been using the angel hair shampoo bar from lush for a few months at this point and dude idk what it is about this shampoo but good fucking lord has it been in my eyes more times than any other shampoo i've ever used and also. also.

it's not as bad as having jalapeno oil in your eye but that's like. the only comparable thing i can think of lmao.

[priokskfm]

#FREEDOWNLOADS #FREEPROMO #RADIOCHART Max Sedgley - What've I Got To Do Classic funk meets drum & bass cut. This one always rocking the dancefloor. DJ Mix by Jalapeno Sound System: http://bit.ly/JalDnBDJMix Full Jalapeno D&B tracklist here: VA.lnk.to/JalapenoDnB Скачать: https://ift.tt/G2uzDof https://ift.tt/Tg5NhaP

[tpwk-formula1]

haii could i please order a pizza with sicillian crust with red sauce, and jalapenos, chicken, and tomatoes and my drinks are mtn dew(dom), beer and diet coke. Served by Max Verstappen please!!

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

sicillian crust dating red sauce rough sex jalapenos "always such a fucking brat" chicken "awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" tomatoes "do you enjoy pissing me off?" mt dew dom (reader) beer edging diet cock recording kink served by Max Verstappen

Max Verstappen x Dom reader

AN: I am so pleased with how busy the Pizzeria has been! I work at night today so I'm gonna get a couple fics more pizzas done before I have to go in.

TW - edging, sub max, dom reader, begging, unprotected sex, filming, taunting

WC 2100+

Y/N POV

I've been watching Max from the other side of the bar for the past 15 minutes while he talks to Checo about something having forgotten about the drink he was supposed to be getting me.

Another 5 minutes pass before Max is finally waving the bartender down to orders drinks and another 3 minutes before I watch Max approaching with his puppy smile trying to sweeten me up once he saw the cold stare I was giving him.

"Max it's been almost half an hour since you told me 'I'll be right back just gonna get your drink' right back my ass" I saw while rolling my eyes and talking the drink he was offering me.

"M'sorry, Checo was talking about the car," Max tells me sheepishly. I could tell he was sorry so I decided to brush it off and pull him to my side before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"It's fine, just stay on task next time," I tell him softly whispering into his ear.

I don't know how or when it happened but there had been a shift in max and I's relationship. At one point in time, Max was a young curious boy doing any and everything he could to dominate me and 'keep me in check' but as the years progressed there was a switch and he was no longer the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Most people just assumed Max was whipped but the very few who actually knew about the dynamic just understood it. To them it all made sense, on track, Max was a dominant force that instilled fear in his fellow drivers but off the track, he just needed an outlet to be taken care of.

"I promise," Max whispers before placing a kiss on my lips.

"Love you," he says when he pulls back. "Love you too"

As the night progressed Max had done really well about doing what he's asked but then Lando showed up and I knew instantly I was gonna lose him in the crowd.

I trust Max and I have no issues with him going off but being left at a table by myself surrounded by people I had never met was making me grow more anxious than I would like to admit.

It was about an hour later when I finally saw Max approaching the table with a dopey smile across his face letting me know he had definitely had another drink or two.

"Hi baby," Max says while plopping down right next to me not picking up on the annoyance radiating off of me.

"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" I ask back watching as the smile on Max's face instantly falls.

"Wha- huh? Wait, what did I do?" Max stutters, struggling to try and figure out what to say.

"You just disappeared for over an hour. You left me alone at this dan table and you didn't even tell me where the fuck you went or ask if I wanted to join," I tell him back piching his thigh slightly under the table.

"M'sorry. I promise I've been trying to be good. Don't wanna make you mad, schat" Max mumbles clearly feeling the shame of the verbal lashing he was gonna get later when we got back to the apartment.

"You're gonna be in tears tonight," I reply back straight faced not cracking a normal smile.

"Please just one more chance," Max begs knowing I meant every word.

"I gave you a chance with Checo. I don't understand how you hanging out with Lando somehow always results in you getting punished. Maybe we should send him a video of you tonight to let me know he's a terrible influence," I tell him while looking into his eyes before placing a soft kiss on his cheek to throw him off.

"You wouldn't" Max says with wide eyes of the threat of sending a sex tape. I just shrug my shoulders playing along with the bit.

"I don't know, I think he would love to know that the man he's fighting to get the World Driver Championship is just a needy whiney little bitch," I reply back making Max whine.

"You're a meanie," Max mumbles.

"And you're a brat. Don't we make a perfect pair," I saw with a smile on my face.

When we finally get back to the apartment for the night Max was pretty much sober knowing I would wait until morning if he wasn't sober. He chose take his punishment now versus the morning when he would be nursing a hangover.

"Go into our room, make sure the cats are out of the room, then strip down and be laying on you back in the bed. I'll be there in 5 minutes," I say the second the door is closed.

Max makes quick work of disappearing into our room where I assume he listened to every word I said.

In the 5 minutes, I stripped down into the lingerie set I had chosen to wear under my outfit before making my way down the hallway where I find Sassy sitting by the door staring up at me curiously. I give her a quick pet before slipping into the room to find Max exactly how I told him to be. I look around the room and found a neatly stack of clothes letting me know that Max had folded them up instead of throwing them arounf our room.

"I see you remember some of our rules," I saw while staring at the clothes so Max understood what I was referencing.

When I start climbing into the bed with Max I can see him tensing slightly in anticipation.

"You know how embarrassing it was tonight?" I said before spitting onto Max's cock and starting to jerk him off making him instantly grow hard under my hand.

"I was sat there all alone for over an hour. I looked dumb as fuck. I'm sure the Monaco gossip is gonna eat that up "Max Verstappen disappears leaving his long-time girlfriend alone at the table' You know how media is, they're gonna make it seem like there's trouble in paradise. When in reality it's just little Maxie being a brat. Oh! I almost forgot," I stop my teasing to grab my phone which I brought with me into the room.

"Say hi to Lando," I say while pointing the camera at Max's face. He's giving the camera such a pained yet slutty look it makes me laugh at his desperation. I wait a couple seconds before my voice booms through the room, "I said, Say hi to Lando." While verbally reprimanding Max I send a quick slap to his inner thigh close to his dick before pinching the same spot making Max squirm a bit.

"Hi, Lando," Max mumbles barely audible.

"Try that again. I hear the way you yell at your engineer. Such a disrespectful boy," I tell him with a raised brow.

"Hi, Lando" Max finally says in a loud enough voice to be heard.

"Good boy," I tell him while moving my unoccupied hand back to his dick making sure I have the perfect angle to get Max and his already wet with precum ccok.

"So needy. You're already dripping for me," I say with a smirk on my face.

"So good, schat" Max whines making me speed up slightly just to watch Max's breath hitch.

"I love it when you get like that," I mumble while squeezing Max's cock a bit harder.

"M'close," Max mumbled making me speed up just slightly before pulling my hand away and watching Max's eyes roll into the back of his head and tremble slightly from his pleasure being ripped away in a matter of seconds.

"No," Max whines dragging out the O sounding so desperate.

"Awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" I tease while starting to jerk Max off again while zooming the camera in on Max's cock dripping with precum.

"Schat, please," Max says already starting to beg.

"Oh come on, you can handle more than one," I tell him while leaning down and kicking softly at his tip collecting a bit of his precum.

I shuffle down the bed slightly to start pulling Max into my mouth and down my throat taking all of Max's length into my mouth making sure to bob my head slightly before bringing Max to the edge all over again.

I could tell when he was getting close again because his thighs started tensing under my hands making me rip away from Max's cock to watch him thrash around while bucking his hips to try and gain some kind of friction.

"Fuck no," Max whines staring straight at that the camera that I angled perfectly on his face.

"I love watching you get progressively more needy," I say with a smirk while gripping onto his cock and giving it a rough couple jerks before pulling Max into my mouth again.

I didn't give Max much time to calm down so he was on the edge rather quickly.

"Please, I'm gonna cum," Max says making me bod my head a bit faster before pulling away and watching Max try and chase his orgasm on his own by moving his hand to go and finish himself off but I quickly get a grip on his wrist and giving Max a look that says knock it off.

"No more," Max whines making me smirk slightly.

"Can you give me one more?" I question with a raised brow making Max whine but slowly start to nod his head.

"Yes, I can give one more," Max mumbles softly making me smile softly.

I started jerking off his cock softly making sure I'm filming everything again. I loved it when Max got like. The noises, his hips bucking, and the pure desperation in his eyes always seemed to turn me on.

I could tell Max was getting close but I wanted to push him farther than previous so I continue my movements till the second I know Max will cum I rip my hand away and watch as Max lets out a roar of desperation while jerking his body around not being able to gain any friction as I moved away slightly.

"Please, I need it. I can't do it anymore. I need to cum baby, please," Max begs making me smile softly.

"I'm gonna let you cum in a minute," I tell Max softly while rubbing his thigh in a soothing manner making Max whimper at the touch.

I turned the video off and tossed my phone away from us. I was still sitting in my lingerie set which is completely soaked through both from just witnessing Max get to the point of begging and also because I had snuck a couple fingers into my folds and teased my clit while giving Max head.

I stand from the bed softly and strip down completely before climbing back into the bed and climbing on top of Max before instantly sinking all the way down on Max.

"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Max stretch my tight walls. I knew neither of us would last very long but looking at Max's face he was completely blissed out.

"So good," Max mumbled making his accent come out a bit thicker.

"So big baby," I moan while softly grinding my hips to gain some friction but not enough stimulation to bring Max or I to an orgasm.

"More, please" Max begs and I give him exactly what he wants because I start bouncing my hips slightly making both Max and I moan at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.

It doesn't take me long for the knot in my stomach to grow alerting me of the incoming orgasm. I look at Max's face and can tell he's trying to hold his orgasm off until I was cumming.

"Cum for me baby," I whisper out bouncing harder on Max's cock throwing me off the edge and into a violent orgasm.

The way Max's hips were erratically thrusting and the feeling of him filling me up sent me over the edge into a shaking orgasm. I'm shaking on Max's cock trying to ride both of our orgasms out.

"So good baby," I whine softly still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm I just had.

"Thank you," Max says softly through staggered breath still trying to catch his breath again.

"You did good for me," I tell Max softly while pulling off his cock and laying down on his chest.

"You're not gonna send that to Lando right," Max mumbles softly making me chuckle a little and shake my head no.

"You know I would never, but I did love watching you get desperate on camera. Might start having to do that more often," I tell him softly looking up to watch his face. I could see the conflict in his eyes but he still nodded his head letting me know it was something he would be willing to do again.

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

As I see the word around me turning pink (or, in some cases, purple), I've decided that it's time to make a sequel to that tma post. Yes, I'm at episode 20. No, I'm not okay (I promise). Perhaps, I need therapy. Anyways, enjoy:

The Magnus Archives but I've met the fandom (and am even more confused)

There's an Archivist (you have to use the capital letter if you want to survive), his name is Jon,sometimes Jonathan and sometimes Jalapeño.

He is also somehow the author of the podcast, and the guy speaking. I don't know how. Nothing feels real anymore.

Apparently, he brings the romantic side of the podcast. I'm glad. He should think about bringing the "makes sense" side too.

#JusticeForMartin2024

Get. Sasha. And. Tim. Some. Fucking. Representation.

There's Gerard Keay, who doesn't have anything to do with Gerard Way (I checked), and I love him.

He's also very dead. My point still stands.

WHERE IS THAT FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC VASE WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME TO UNDERSTAND YOUR INSIDE JOKE, WHY?

There's a guy named Evan Lukas, whose name reminds me of another guy. Was it James Lukas? Peter Lukas? George Lukas? Not a single idea.

Five people told me to be scared of the Mikes.

Who are they?

Is that a sect? A typo? A secret level you unlock once you understand what that vase joke refers to?

There's a secret link between everything.

Is it that every one of the stories involves being scared of something, and being alone?

Wait. Nevermind. That's a horror podcast, people are usually scared in these. I'm trying to be logical here.

I miss Gerard Keay.

OH WAIT WAIT SORRY I DIDN'T TELL Y'ALL THAT JALAPENO CAME OUT OF HIS RECORDING CLOSET TO TALK TO A MADAM. THAT REALLY DISTURBED HIM AND HE HAD TO LOCK HIMSELF AGAIN TO RECOVER, BUT I'M PROUD OF THE PROGRESS HE MADE

Michael is not okay. Do they need help?

I don't know their pronouns, and people answered with really disturbing and unhelpful things. Could someone help?

I kinda like Michael. Even if they're blonde.

Unless they're part of the Mikes. I have a bad feeling about the Mikes.

Uhh lots of blood, spiders, worms, death, spooky nights, people being alone, eyes everywhere, insanity, blood sacrifices, the Unknown, and evil books.

Oh, and drugs. Very important, the drugs

Leaving you with that, hope I didn't miss a very important point. May the stars shine in your direction, or whatever.

[theesirenteller]

Grocery Store Paternity

↫↫↫ 𝕸𝖎𝖌𝖚𝖊𝖑 𝕲𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖔 𝖝 𝕺𝖈! 𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖘𝖙 𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖑𝖊 ↬↬↬

"D'elia? ¿Cómo estás?  Ha pasado mucho tiempo."

Who would've thought that going to pick up a bag of frozen plantains would have the average person end up running into the devil? Most wouldn't think so. But for D'elia Wren, she should've known this day would come. Especially being in Santo Padre. Miguel Galindo was the devil to many. and D'elia was no different. Even since she was fifteen, he terrorized her body and mind. His love for the gringa was the only thing that saved her. Funny how now that didn't feel like such a blessing. 

D'elia stared at him wide-eyed with a clenched jaw. Her throat dry as she bit at the side of her bottom lip. Her hands shook against the cool rod of the cart's handlebar. She could feel the warm and wet sensation of tears start to form in the corner of her eyes. 

"Mom, can I have these, please! It's watermelon and jalapeno flavored!" The familiar squeaky voice felt the comfort of an angel. Which caused D'elia to snap out of her frozen state and turn her attention to the child at her side.

"Uhm, yes of course." D'elia agreed with a forced smile. She nearly snatched the candy bag out of her daughter's hands due to how fast she grabbed it before tossing it into the cart.

Miguel raised an eyebrow as he looked at the child. Watching the two in both curiosity and amusement. When the girl turned to face him and offered the man a polite smile; he felt his world stop and his blood run cold. She had the same smile and eyes as his mother.  She had her mother's vibrant, golden-umber brown skin, full lips, and nose. Everything else screamed Galindo to Miguel. An uncanny resemblance that couldn't be ignored. 

"Hola! I'm-"

"Excuse us." The poor girl was cut off by her mother before she had the time to be polite. D'elia lifted the child up with little to no distress and rolled her cart with her other hand. "Mommy, I'm not a baby!", the child pouted and squirmed. Her whining could be heard through the aisles as well as her mother's hushing.

"Get Davante to pull up her records over the last eight to ten years. Have Chino and Mateo follow her." Miguel ordered Nestor before continuing on with his shopping. 

D'elia and the nameless child haven't left his mind since that day. Days turned into three weeks and three weeks turned into three months before Miguel decided to take action and make a trip to confront D'elia. He hadn't informed Emily of anything and he doubted she would care about his sudden coldness and distance from her. Cristobal was all that he focused on when inside the Galindo home. The thought of his son having an older sister and him having a second child, a daughter. One that wasn't from his wife was…complicated. Both joyous and frightening. He could've turned a blind eye. And a part of him wanted to. Cristobal had been in enough danger and Miguel didn't want to put another child through that. But, then again the girl was his child and D'elia. Well, she was damaged goods and one of four of his deepest regrets. The things he'd done to her in his early twenties whilst she was only a minor…made his stomach turn. But in a distorted way…he cared for her. The way a pet owner cared for its dog. Now, it was too late to turn a blind eye. Miguel was now in San Francisco, standing in front of a brownstone building with Nestor and Davante by his sides.  

The tumblers of the locks clicked open and instead of a look of surprise, D'elia stood there with an indifferent look across her face. "Three men for one woman? Gee, I really must be a lot to handle." she greeted with dry humor before stepping aside.

Miguel sent her a subtle smile before ordering Nestor and Devante to wait in the car. "You're hard to tame but not hard to handle." He replied. The two story apartment was more spacious than he imagined. Downstairs, the living room where he guided into was subtly minimalistic. Painted a deep shade of purple with various accents of burnt orange lingering around. Like the couch that he sat on.

"What do you know? What do you want, Miguel?" D'elia immediately questioned as soon as she was seated. 

"Do you welcome all your guests this way?" Miguel chastised. 

"You ain't no damn guest." She shot back.

A rasped chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head "Fair enough." he then smoothed out his black suit jacket, "I know Alejandra is my daughter. I know she's eight years old and was born in Iowa. Mainly, one of those witness protection programs. I know you ratted out that whorehouse on the outskirts of Santo Padre to get you and her out of their…and away from me." his thumbs brushed over the gold ring on his fingers.

"She might be your daughter by blood but she's not your kid." D'elia replied stubbornly. "And your deep dive turned out to be right. That whore house and bitch Maria were the reasons kids like me were offered up to assholes like you. Just because you brought a little designer and some expensive jewelry around me doesn't mean you weren't as sick as the rest of those bastards who came around." her tone seething with venom and disgust.

"Fifteen was hardly a kid and don't you forget anyone one of those girls would've been happy to take your spot." Miguel argued.

"And I wish it had been one of them." D'elia hissed.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the two of them. The pair now glaring at one another with mixed emotions.  Miguel's left eye slightly twitched and his expression sat cold until he smiled. 

"Look, I don't want any trouble D'elia. I simply want what every man wants…his family together. You don't have to be in Santo Padre but Alejandra will know I'm her father and she'll know her brother and all of the Galindo family." The smile across his lips never matched the dark expression within his eyes.

 He stood up from his seat and stalked his way towards her which caused D'elia to tense up. "And I'd hate for her to be brought into the family without you. A girl needs her mother and well..step-mothers can be a hard adjustment at her age." His large palm patted against D'elia's shoulder as he placed a kiss on her cheek, "You look beautiful by the way."  his warm breath hit the shell of her earlobe.

D'elia tightly gripped at the sides of her loveseat as her blood ran cold. She fought back tears of anger and instead nodded her head. "Okay." If he wanted to play…then they could play.

"Great," His smile now dazzling and bright, "I'll be in touch so make sure to answer your phone." with that Miguel made his way to the foyer before letting himself out. The thought of getting rid of Emily and starting his family over was fresh in his mind.

[true-blue-sonic]

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, Blue!!

☆ - happy headcanon

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

☼ - appearance headcanon

ൠ - random headcanon

For Sonic & Silver for the Ask Game

Good evening! ^-^

Sonic:

☆ - happy headcanon

Though he won't brag about it, he's happy to hear from people who he helped out, and I can imagine he's always willing to stop for a quick chat when he's out in a town or city somewhere!

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Afaik Sonic doesn't have his own house, but I figure in Tails' workshops there's always a place he can crash: be it a bedroom for himself or simply the couch. For the latter, Tails is always left annoyed with the sea of blue quills on it in the morning, though.

☼ - appearance headcanon

Doesn't like appearing dirty or sweaty, so on his runs he stops occasionally at a pond or spring to freshen up a bit. This is also how he keeps stumbling into Chao gardens, since those need to have clean water for the Chao to grow. But that's his secret, so everyone is left wondering how he doesn't appear muddy in the slightest when they come across him, haha!

ൠ - random headcanon

Probably holds the world record for the spiciest chili dog ever eaten, considering he eats his with jalapeno peppers and he also doesn't shy away from a challenge...

Silver

☆ - happy headcanon

His friends collect postcards and stuff to give him when he comes to the past, so he can see what beautiful scenery and stuff the world has to offer <3 In turn, he might take pictures of what those places look like in the future and compare them together with his friends.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Is actively juggling the cultivation of and care for about one million plants, with hundreds of ideas on how to keep them all hydrated and protected when it's hot out but he's gone for a period of time. In other words, the whole room is a tripping hazard of wet ropes connected between a bucket of water and the dozens of plant pots XD

☼ - appearance headcanon

I like to think he'll grow taller and a bit more strong-shouldered in the future; if he ever outgrows Sonic in a noticeable way, he'll probably be very smug about it, haha!

ൠ - random headcanon

I think Silver might enjoy learning, assuming it is not the "locked for 8 hours in a school" kind of learning. In order to learn, he mostly travels around and tries to make sense of things his own way, with the occasional book or conversation with someone to help guide him further.

[tiredpandaportfolio]

What spice tolerances so you think the sparda boys have?

Oh, as a spice fiend, I always have a lot of thoughts about this :D

All Three

So, being part demon means they have hypersensitive... well, senses. They can smell and taste even the most subtle aromas and flavours. Of course, this is a double-edged sword, as it means that while they can savour foods in ways normal people can't, they are all also very sensitive to spices, among other things.

It does help that they all have stomach acid that could melt stones, so they aren't really prone to stomach aches.

They all have rather different tolerances and reactions.

Dante

Dante has an alarmingly high spice tolerance. Despite the sensitivity, he actively enjoys the burn, as long as it has some flavour to it. Specifically, he really likes some sweet with his fire, so he enjoys hot sauces that incorporate fruit.

He won't eat spicy foods often but once in a while he gets that craving and will find the absolutely most mouth-melting hot sauce or spicy dish to have. He treats it as some kind of unhinged challenge to satisfy his adrenaline-junkie ways. Since even mild spice hits harder, he's always trying to see how far he can push it. He doesn't react too strongly too it, pushing himself to try and no-sell the burn. At most, he'll sweat a little bit and sniffle for a bit.

At the moment, he's sitting somewhere around the ghost pepper range (1 mil Scoville and change) and is already itching to find the next challenge.

Trust me, he'll balk at the Trinidad scorpion. The sensitivity/tolerance balance will tip too far, and he will have no regrets.

Nero

Nero likes spicy foods, but his tolerance range is tempered by his reactivity to it. He prefers tangy spicy sauces and dishes, with a lot of salt and lime.

Nero will go for spicy foods whenever he can get them, and tries to make them himself, with varying results. That sticky note in Nico's van is evidence of a poor understanding of cooking... I mean, steak and jalapenos in the oven? Come on... There is a degree of testing his limits rather than enjoying the food for it's sake and frankly, he's still learning to adjust his flavour palate to more "adult" preferences, like pasta all'arabiatta.

He is not above trying to shotgun an entire bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos just to prove he can.

He unfortunately has some very visible reactions to spice. He sweats like a pig, sniffles for up to thirty minutes afterwards and, after a certain threshold of spice, drinks water and other liquids constantly, to the point of almost making himself sick.

His current record is Thai pepper sauce (about 50-70k Scoville) and that was already a bit of a stretch of his limits. He's one double-dog-dare from Dante away from a trip to the hospital.

Vergil

Vergil does not handle spice very well. At all. His tolerance, much like with alcohol, is rather embarrassing. He actually prefers rather bland food but there's some signs of improvement as he reintergrates into society. He's not even a bit shy about his inclination towards burgers.

He may scoff at Dante, but his own diet is really just as bad. He won't seek out spicy foods but if he's around Dante or Nero, the goading will eventually get to him and he'll try something. Sometimes he ends up liking what he's eating, sometimes not. It's terrible whenever he feels he needs to compete with them because then he'll try something beyond his tolerance and that never ends well.

His reactions are the most extreme; he sweats, his face gets very red, he gets a very runny nose and cannot stop drinking whatever liquid he gets his hands on. He'll get stomach cramps soon enough.

The best Vergil can do is Serrano peppers (about 10-20k Scoville) and that's a stretch. He actually doesn't want to try anything hotter but again... daring/challenging him proves to be his undoing every single time.

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First.

part 4.

Zoe managed to find her bearings, call an uber, and get home in one piece.

It was early afternoon by the time she got out of the shower. She took an extra long shower, staying under the hot water longer than usual. Nothing could make her feel clean enough after the night she had.

She stepped out and into a fluffy towel, and wrapped her hair up in a 2nd towel. She Ordered Chinese off UberEats, put lotion on her legs and put on the baggiest pair of sweatpants she owned. She pulled on an old Columbia T-Shirt, and started combing her hair. She made her way into the living room, lit a candle and grabbed her laptop and recorder. She placed them on the cushion next to her and grabbed her phone and her charger, setting up camp in the living room. By then, she received a notification her food had arrived. She settled back onto the couch with her laptop in her lap and a plate of chicken and broccoli on the coffee table in front of her. She pressed play on the recorder and took a deep breath.

Let's begin.

5 hours later, she was done.

She was proofreading for the 10th time, making sure everything was perfect. Believe it or not, she had a lot of material on her recorder. After a drink or two, he really opened up and became comfortable talking with her. He let his guard down and was candid, talking about his hesitations with taking certain jobs and his struggles adjusting to life under a microscope.

It was hard for Zoe to listen to, as what she heard on the tape recorder was not the asshole she woke up next to. The man on the recorder was just that; a man who had a very public job, but also had fears, concerns, hobbies, a family, etc. He was human. She learned about the man Cillian Murphy, Irish native who was a failed musician. Who likes to pour jalapenos on top of his popcorn. Who reads poetry in his spare time. And isn't that what Zoe went into journalism for? To learn and connect with people?

Zoe sighed and saved the doc and attached it to an email to her editor. Holding her breath, she typed a quick "Cillian Murphy Piece" in the subject line, and clicked send.

She exhaled. Done.

She rolled her neck, normally she would treat herself to a beer but her stomach churned at the thought. She grabbed her remote and turned on Netflix and selected Suits, picking up where she left off.

She took a bite of her food, now cold.

Ok, so maybe I slept with Cillian Murphy, She thought. Best case is, no one will ever believe it. Worst case is, people saw. and they do believe it.

"My life is a fucking joke" Zoe said out loud, to absolutely no one.

Zoe heard her phone go off, the notification she assigned for a new email.

Zoe assumed it was her editor confirming receipt of the email, like he usually does. However, she stared at her phone.

Something was nagging at her. An alarm went off in her head; this wasn't a confirmation. Her father always said trust your gut, and her gut - although currently a little bloated and full of Chinese - was never wrong. This wasn't a confirmation email.

She opened her phone and sure enough she had an email from her boss with the subject line "Tomorrow"

Zoe,

Just got an email that concerns you - can we please meet at 10am tomorrow? Ms. Hannah Woods will be joining us from Elite.

Thanks,

Donna

Who the fuck is Hannah? Elite? Elite what?

Zoe loved her boss, but she was so vague. She had a habit of talking about people as if Zoe knew them.

Was Hannah an employee? She opened up linkedIn and typed in Hannah woods. Zoe found her page - Hannah was a publicist at Elite Talent.

Zoe closed out LinkedIn and opened up google and searched Elite Talent, finding their page. She poked around the website, and found a list of publicists and their contact info. She found Hannah's and clicked on her. It brought her to Hannah's own page on the Elite Talent website, her picture filling her computer screen along with a little blurb about herself. On the side, it had a list of clients that she managed. Zoe's heart dropped.

Hannah was Cillian's publicist.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He told his publicist. Zoe thought, heart beating out of her chest.

"is this because I insulted your stupid Guinness??" She groaned out loud, her head in her hands.

Zoe begrudgingly responded to Donna's email, saying she'll be there.

Zoe slammed her laptop shut, stood up, and made her way to the kitchen.

So much for not drinking" she said out loud, grabbing a beer.

tags: @lau219

[urfavstargirl1]

I'll be Home for Christmas - an e.m. series

Part 2: Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

Summary: Y/N pays a visit to the ghost of Christmas past, in the form of Eddie Munson

Cw: drinking, swearing, Nancy, Robin, and steve makes an appearance, the Hideout, the chaos in the days leading up to christmas, angst, reader takes a chance on herself, second chance romance, best friends to lovers, set in the future, latina!fem!reader

word count: 10.2K

AO3 | Spotify Playlist

a/n: not much to say other than this was a hastily written and edited chapter with way too much soul, (ps. this chapter is influenced by the Smiths songs of the same name)

Part 1

“What the hell man?” I angrily hiss at Alex and my brother who are nonchalantly taking items off the shelves of the baking aisle. I glance at the cart that is already filled with cinnamon, rice flour, brown sugar, limes, cilantro, jalapenos, and various sodas.

“What’d he say?” Alex smiles at me. 

“What’d he say? What the hell Alex? You knew he was gonna call me, didn’t you? Was this his and your big plan, to drag me out to the Hideout?,” I frantically ask as he crosses an item off the list and pushes the cart forward, making me follow him.

“Seriously, is this a prank or something? Who else is in on it, huh? First my parents and siblings, now you. What’s next, everyone at grandma’s house?”

“Chill out,” he says while looking at the list. 

“Look, it’s up to you if you want to come with us tonight. But, for the record, Eddie wanted me to ask you, but I refused. Told him, if you really want her to go, you’re gonna have to ask her yourself. Now, help me find the masa,” he commands, ignoring my tirade.

My feet are glued to the floor and my body is rigid.

“C’mon,” Alex says as he bends down to check the lower shelves.

I’m not usually this paranoid or irritable. In the courtroom, I am calm and collected, fierce and strong. With my friends, I’m stylish and sophisticated, friendly and sweet. With my family, I’m nothing if not batshit crazy.

I take a deep breath and scan the shelves for masa, the maize dough made of corn we use to make tamales, a savory dish consisting of masa filled with succulent meat and spicy chilis wrapped in a steamed corn husk.

I used to hate eating them every year, but now that I haven’t had them in so long, I’m actually kind of craving them.

I find the masa at the bottom most shelf and put a few bags in the cart. 

“Look, we can talk about it more at the house, for now we gotta get everything on the list ‘cause it’s flying off the shelves,” Alex calmly says as he crosses another line on the list.

“Okay,” I huff, already embarrassed at the minor scene I just put on the display.

“You seriously need to relax,” Alex laughs at my state of disarray. “We need to make a stop at the liquor store anyway, so we’ll get a head start on the drinking when we get back.”

“Say no more,” I say exasperatedly. A shot of tequila is just what I need to take the edge off.

As we turn the corner to the next aisle, we almost T-bone my brother who has nothing but candy in his hands. He tosses in the candy canes, chocolates, and gummy candies.

“For the stockings,” he shrugs. 

“Uh-huh sure they are,” I cock an eyebrow at him. Even though he’s just a sophomore in college, he’s always been a kid at heart. I guess that’s one of the many perks of being the youngest. 

We continue to shop and run amok the busy grocery store, splitting up and coming together again with all the different food items and paper products on the list.

Once everything on the list has been found and we exit the store, my brother insists on racing Alex to the car. Meanwhile, I have to push the heavy ass shopping cart, but it was all worth it to see him slip on some leftover snow. Most of the roads have cleared up, but that didn’t save my brother from tripping and falling flat on his face. 

“Fuck,” my brother screams loudly, garnering the attention of a few bystanders. Some  gasp in shock while Alex and I burst out laughing. From a few cars away, I see Alex help him up. My brother nods to something Alex said and smiles.

By the time I reach them, I ask if he’s okay to which he says yes. Alex and I tease him the entire way to the car and even while we load the groceries into the back. 

“Shut up, it wasn’t that funny,” my brother playfully scolds.

“You should’ve seen yourself. You slipped and fell like a Looney Tunes character or something.”

We laugh about it in the car some more as we head over to the liquor store.

“Close your eyes, it’s illegal for you to be here,” I tease as I wrap one arm around my brother's shoulders and place the other hand over his eyes.

He shakes my hands away and rolls his eyes. “Relax, I literally turn 21 in four months.”

“Bet that doesn’t stop you from having fun at the University of Michigan,” Alex teases. “Rumor has it you almost died getting your stomach pumped your first semester.”

My brother's skin turns white and his eyes widen. He shivers at the memory and shakes his head. “We don’t talk about that day. I almost never wanted to drink again”

Alex and I laugh as we grab a cart and fill it with the obligatory tequila and beer.

Once all of the errands have been run, we return to my grandma’s house. The men in the living room are shouting at the football game and the women in the kitchen are gossiping over the stove. 

The sight of peak gender roles would normally spark a rage in me, but right now, it’s more comforting than anything. Home for the holidays as I’ve always known it. 

Just as long as they don’t make me do anything in the kitchen though, then we’ll be good. 

As we transfer the groceries to the dining room table, the ladies in the kitchen start unpacking them. I run over to the living room to chastise the men into helping too. Solving the centuries long conundrum of machismo a little bit at a time.

They come help unpack the groceries and get the bright idea to start pouring the tequila shots. It’s only 2:00 but we’re on holiday time now.

Multiple arms are flying across the kitchen to simultaneously put food away and distribute tequila shot ingredients.

Alex passes me the salt shaker first. I lick my hand and pour salt over it and pass it to the next person. Someone else hands me a lime and then a shot glass filled with the clear liquid.

I look at some of my younger cousins around us who have plastic cups filled with juice to join the festivities.

We all quiet down so my mom can give a small toast. She repeats it again but in Spanish and then we all raise our shot glass and shout “Salud”, the Spanish word for cheers.

I lick the salt off my hand, take the shot and instantly scrunch my face. I bring the quartered lime to my lips and suck, chasing the bitter flavor. 

“All these years and you still can’t take a shot like a champ,” Alex whispers. 

“Fuck you,” I hiss and smile. I weasel my way into the kitchen and sneak a bunuelo, a sweet dessert consisting of a flat piece of dough fried crispy golden brown and topped with cinnamon and sugar. 

The house starts to feel hot with so many people and the kitchen appliances I’m sure have been running nonstop all morning, so I go outside to the backyard for some fresh air. Alex follows me and I’m instantly reminded of our conversation in the grocery store earlier. For a second, I actually forgot about it. 

We sit down on the patio furniture by my grandmother's garden and clothesline.

“So what’s the deal with you and Eddie,” Alex asks as he takes a bite out of his own bunuelo that he managed to sneak out. They’re making so many, I doubt they noticed a few were gone. I frown at the sugar crystals that fall onto his jacket.

“What’s the deal with me and Eddie? What’s the deal with you and Eddie?”

“I asked you first,” he says nonchalantly before taking another bite.

I shake my head and shrug, “What do you wanna know? I mean, it sounds like Eddie’s already told you a lot.”

“Yeah, but I wanna know your side of the story.”

I press my lips together and without thinking, sigh in relief. No one’s ever asked me that before.

“What’s to tell? I mean, he was just some guy I dated in high school,” I say, but the words feel bitter and false as they leave my tongue, making me scrunch my face like I had when I took the tequila shot earlier.

“Doesn’t sound that way. Doesn’t look like it either,” he replies, jutting his chin out at me. I look down and realize my shoulders are hunched over and my arms and legs are tightly crossed. I subconsciously uncross them.

I shrug. “It’s… complicated.”

“That’s fine. I can handle complicated,” he calmly states with a small encouraging smile.

I take a deep breath and look down at my lap. I reluctantly take a bit of my bunuelo and let the sweet fragrant cinnamon sugar disseminate on my tastebuds.

“I, uh, I have a lot of history with Eddie.”

“Alright, so where does the story begin?”

“Um, high school. Sophomore year. We were in the same health class. In all honesty, that’s probably the only way I could have ever met him, you know. A state mandated class everyone had to take,” I laugh nervously. 

“But um, I got to class first, and he got there late and the only place to sit was in the seat next to mine. And… you know the first thing he said to me? 

He arrived right as the teacher started talking. And after a few minutes she had us start some bullshit assignment, as they always do, and Eddie whispered, ‘Hey, can I borrow a pencil?’ and so I’m thinking, ugh, here's some loser who’s late to class and doesn’t even have a pencil. But whatever, I’ll lend him a pencil and be done with him.

So I reach into my backpack and pull out a spare pencil. I say sure and am about to offer it to him when I look up at him. It’s the first time I ever really looked at him. A real square in the eyes kind of look, and my stomach dropped. I had no idea why. 

Here was this weird kid with buzzed hair who was suddenly making me nervous. I instantly hated him for it. So just as he’s about to grab it, I pull my hand back and say, ‘Only if you can give me a good reason why you should’.

And then he said, ‘Oh sweetheart, I can give you plenty.’

So I said, ‘Okay, let’s hear ‘em.’

Then he asked, ‘Do you smoke?’

To which I replied ‘No’

So he goes, ‘Well, I can get you a good discount on… wait, you don’t smoke?’

So of course I had to tell him ‘No, it’s not really my thing’ 

And then he started struggling to come up with something to offer me in return. He ended up digging through his very empty backpack searching for something. And you know what he ended up bartering for my stupid pencil? His most prized possession: Black Sabbath’s Paranoid album on cassette.

He had brought it to show off to his friends or something, but insisted it was the only thing of value he had on him. 

At the time, I didn’t listen to anything like that so I basically told him I didn’t want it. But then he reversed the trade on me and said he’ll loan me the tape. He said I had to listen to it all the way through and if I still didn’t like it, then I could give it back to him and he’d come up with something better tomorrow, but if not, I could keep it.

In the moment, it felt stupid, but fifteen year old me decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. So later that night, I listened to the album all the way through, just like he said. I’d never heard anything like it. It was the first time I’d ever fallen in love. Eddie was the one that made me fall in love with music.”

“Eddie never told me that story,” Alex laughs and I smile at the memory.

“Yeah, Eddie kind of snuck into my life that way. We got really close that year and practically inseparable the year after. By the time senior year rolled around, we’d both fallen head over heels for each other. 

But, you know my parents. I mean, now, it’s all ‘when are we having grandkids’, but back then it was, no dating, no boys that are friends, and practically breathing around a boy was barely allowed. And being the oldest, they were always the strictest on me.”

“But you still dated him?”

“Yeah,” I smile, “His Uncle Wayne was cool with it, so it was really just my parents we had to worry about. Anytime we hung out I always said I was with a girl friend. 

We got away with it pretty easily when we were just friends, but once we started dating, we were going out more often, staying out longer, and getting home later. 

We had a few close calls in the beginning, but like most teenagers in love, we thought we were invincible. After a while, the close calls started becoming more frequent till one day, we finally got caught.”

“So what happened?”

I gulp and look down at my lap. It was easy to talk about the good stuff. To look back on the fond memories I had of Eddie. What my cousin is asking of me, I’d rather not relive.

“My parents were so mad. I almost thought they were going to have a heart attack. They wanted to kick me out of the house. They wanted to call the cops on Eddie. Ironically enough, there were plenty of reasons for the neighbors to call the cops on us. Domestic disturbance and all, but no one ever did.

But anyway, my parents wanted nothing to do with me. 

Their perfect daughter became the perfect disappointment. And as much as I hate to say it, if it weren’t for my siblings, I don’t know where I’d be. They were the ones to calm my parents down and convince them to let me stay.”

“Man, that’s fucked up.”

I shrug, “Yeah, I… It was hard. But it made things easier for my siblings, in terms of dating, so at least something sort of good came of it.”

Alex and nods and contemplates my words. I start feeling nervous about all that I’ve just shared, so I change the subject on him. 

“So how did you and Eddie become friends?”

Alex goes on to tell me how him and Eddie were the new guys at the garage for a while. And since they were the youngest, they naturally had more in common than with any of their other coworkers.

They would go to car shows around the state, check out local bands, and go to bars together. Since Alex was new to Hawkins, Eddie introduced him to his friends and became part of their friend group.

“If you come tonight, you can meet them all. They went to Hawkins High too.”

I consider his offer. I consider it for the next couple of hours as we talk about Eddie between holiday family duties.

It’s like I can’t help myself. I want to know everything. I didn’t realize how much I felt like I missed out on his life and I want so desperately to catch up, even if I don’t have any intentions of still being a part of it. The curiosity gets the better of me.

And somehow, explaining all of it to him is like breathing air. I didn’t realize how understanding he would be or how easy it would be to talk to him about it all. 

I almost felt bad for taking up all the time just talking about myself and my past relationship with a boy, or maybe a man now, that I hardly even know anymore.  But he never made me feel guilty about anything I had to share. 

And in an odd way, Eddie has become the bridge between us. Even though I wasn’t particularly close with Alex growing up, I’m surprised to learn just how much more we have in common now than we ever did as kids. 

“Yeah, I mean you guys are both good kids. I’m sure whatever’s going on, you’ll find a way to deal with it.” 

For the remainder of the day, I end up hanging out in the living room or running off to help in the kitchen. At different points in the day, other family members show up. We switch between playing card games, sharing family gossip, and commenting on whatever’s on tv. 

Somehow, it ends up being some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. I didn’t realize how smart or interesting or funny my family is. 

Have they always been like this? In brief moments through it all, I feel a tinge of guilt for constantly looking down on them, on this town. Maybe it’s not so bad here after all.

It’s not so bad when you have good times, for a change.

Around 7:00 the tamales are ready and we start eating dinner. 

My siblings, Alex, and I get stuck at the kids table, as per usual. My siblings discuss their plans for the night and Alex explains my tentative acceptance to his offer. 

“Just go Y/N, you know you want to.”

Of course I want to. I want to see Eddie, but does he even want to see me? After everything that happened?

“You’ll regret it if you don’t go,” my sister says and I know she's right, but somehow it still feels wrong. 

“Let’s just go. I promise, if you want to leave at any moment for any reason, I’ll take you back home. No questions asked,” Alex offers. 

My siblings look at me expectantly. I avoid their gaze by looking down as my plate and messing with the empty corn husks.

“Fine,” I grumble. My siblings and Alex cheer aloud, catching the attention of the adults in the next room.

As the clock ticks closer to 9:00, I attempt to nonchalantly let my mom know that I’m going out with Alex and a few of his friends. I pray to God she doesn’t know that Eddie is one of them. 

She smiles at me endearingly and tells me that she’s glad I’m going out, that she wants me to have fun. 

I feel a sharp pang in my chest at these words because she’s never wanted me to have fun. Why now?

Alex and I walk out the door and into the cold crisp night. We pile into his truck and head out to the bar. He tries to give me a pep talk on the way there, but I’m too distracted, wondering what’s going to happen next.

What will he look like? On the phone, he still sounded the same. Will he be excited to see me? Will I be excited to see him? What will his friends be like? Do they know about me?

We get to the Hideout and make a beeline toward the bar. The place is just like Eddie said. It’s filled with bright colorful lights, tinsel and ornaments galore, and booming with loud Christmas music. The stage is set up with amps and equipment, but no one’s there. 

Turns out none of Eddie’s friends are here yet either. Alex and I order our drinks and talk. My cranberry Christmas cocktail isn’t half bad. I keep taking nervous sips to avoid having to say anything and am soon on my second drink. 

Slowly, the churning in my stomach goes away as I consume more of the drink. But I can’t help looking at the main entrance and eyeing other patrons.

“Relax, he’s gonna show up.”

I swallow the tiny remainder of saliva and pride down my throat. God, I’m a grown ass woman, why am I feeling like a nervous sixteen year old?

And then I see Alex smile and nod at someone behind me. Oh no. It’s time. 

“Steve! Nancy! Over here,” Alex waves.

I look over and see a young man and woman sauntering over to us. I sigh in relief.

Alex greets them and introduces them to me. We make small talk as some of the band members enter the stage.

A woman with cropped blonde hair, in a bob that reaches her chin sits at the drumset. She pulls out drumsticks and tests the instruments.

“Oh, look, it's Robin! Robin!,” Nancy exclaims loudly and waves over to the blonde girl. The girl makes eye contact with Nancy and smiles.

A tall man with dark brown skin and a flat top haircut enters the stage and sets up his guitar. Another man, who is noticeably shorter but with much longer hair joins in and tunes his bass guitar.

Where’s Eddie?

The nervous churning in my stomach starts ramping up as the clock keeps ticking and Eddie is nowhere to be found. For a second, I think I can distract myself with the chit chat from Alex and his friends, but I know nothing about them so it’s all hard to follow.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I declare. Alex is the only one that acknowledges me. He raises an eyebrow at me and I nervously smile before turning on my heel and making a beeline for the restroom.

Just like any other dingey bar bathroom, there’s pictures and posters and crayon markings? The walls are plastered with them. 

I stand in front of the sink and grab ahold of it. I look at my reflection for a moment before closing my eyes and breathing in deeply. 

What if I just left? What if I just got out of here and never had to–

“Ladies and Gentlemen, The Hideout presents a Hawkins favorite, the new and improved, Corroded Coffin!” A voice announces from outside the bathroom walls.

The crowd cheers and a charismatic voice announces into the mic, “What’s up Hawkins, how we doing tonight?” 

The crowd goes wild. Oh God.

“We’re gonna get this Christmas party started, but with a little twist,” the same voice adds. 

There’s muffled noise before the sound of live instruments disseminates through the building. 

Here goes.

I slowly make my way out of the bathroom and weave through the crowd, making it my mission to find my cousin and his friends who are leaning against the bar. 

“There you are! Almost thought you got stuck on the toilet or something,” Alex yells into my ear. I shove him lightly and smile.

And then I turn my head forward and see him. It’s Eddie. My Eddie.

He’s wearing ripped black jeans with their signature chain and a black sleeveless shirt. It must be to show off all his new tattoos because otherwise only an insane person would wear something like that in the cold. 

But they really do draw the eye. His pale arms are now covered in tattoos. Practically full sleeves.

I let my eyes travel upward and land on his hair. His beautiful, beautiful hair. It’s still long and shaggy, but not the wannabe Kirk Hammett way I last remembered. It’s sort of like a poofy mullet in an Uncle Jesse from Full House kind of way. It’s undeniably hot.

My eyes settle on his face. He has earrings now and a lip ring too. 

I look into those familiar brown eyes, which are staring right back into mine. He sees me and he smiles. I nervously smile back and shyly wave. 

He closes his eyes and pulls the mic closer to his lips. You would’ve thought that microphone was a person and he was going in for a kiss the way he does it so seductively. It makes my heart feel 

Eddie Munson, once a weird boy with a buzzcut, is now a confident man who’s an absolute rock god.

It makes something stir in my heart. I love seeing him like this. It’s just like I always imagined. But it also brings in this deep wave of regret. It makes me realize how much I missed all these years being away.

I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could turn back time. Maybe things would’ve been different.

I’m so lost in thought that the audience applauding when the song ends is the only thing to snap me out of it. I clap, but I have no idea what song they just played or how any of it sounded. All I noticed was Eddie.

“Looks like we have a special guest in the crowd tonight,” Eddie exclaims into the mike and I can feel the blood drain from my face. 

“This next song is dedicated to her,” He says as he smirks at me. I can feel my cousin look at me, but I can’t take my eyes off Eddie. The way his fingers wrap around the fret of the guitar. Or the way his strong arms hold the precious instrument.

And then he starts strumming, and I instantly recognize the melody. The other guitar player and bass player join in and the girl on drums starts adding to the beat.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away,” Eddie closes his eyes and wails into the mic.

“This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special,” he sings as he opens his eyes and winks at me. 

If it weren’t for the darkness of the bar, I’m sure everyone would be able to see the raging blush on my cheeks. 

“Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me,” he sings.

His voice is just as beautiful as I remembered. It takes me back to the nights he’d sing me Black Sabbath in the back of his van, or hum Metallica at his uncle’s trailer.

“Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it, with a note saying "I love you", I meant it. Now I know what a fool I've been, but if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again,” his lips purse before the head of the microphone.

Between each verse and chorus, the members of the band absolutely shred, perfectly turning what originated as a perfectly pop song into a heady, sentimental, rock song.

The band plays the rest of the song, and as they finish, I end up being the loudest one in the room, clapping and cheering them on. Eddie blushes and smiles at me. I even accidentally look at the guy on bass, who looks back at me a little too devilishly for my liking.

It ends up making me drop the smile from my face and subconsciously scoot closer to Alex.

Corroded Coffin play a few more songs, mostly metal sounding renditions of popular Christmas songs, before Eddie closes out the set and the audience cheers for them all.

I wolf whistle, earning his attention and he smiles and shakes his head. The band gathers their instruments and slowly get off the stage. 

“That was incredible! After all these years, Eddie still has it,” I smile sheepishly at Alex.

“They were so good! Robin was the perfect addition to Corroded Coffin,” Nancy squeals and pats Steve’s chest. 

“I kept telling her. Eddie said they needed a new drummer when Gareth left for college and she was the only other musical genius I knew,” Steve says.

“Did she even play percussion in band?” Nancy asks.

“Nah, but it didn’t even take her that long to learn. According to her, learning another instrument is like learning another language. Whatever that means,” Steve shrugs.

I smile and laugh at his statement when the strong scent of cigarette smoke and cologne fills my nose. I turn my head to the source and find the bass player standing right in front of me.

“Hey there,” he gruffly says with a smile, displaying lines around his mouth.

“Hi,” I reply questioningly, looking around to make sure he’s actually talking to me and not someone nearby.

“I saw you out in the crowd earlier. A pretty thing like you is hard to ignore,” He smiles and leans forward, making me lean back.

I nervously laugh, not knowing what to say back.

“Is this your first time here? I swear, I’d remember if a girl like you ever came around.”

“Um,” I look over at Alex, Steve, and Nancy who are too engrossed in conversation with the tall boy on guitar and the drummer who I guess must be a Robin, a mutual friend of all of theirs that I've never even met. 

“It’s been a while,” I nervously reply.

“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” He asks, outstretching his arm and holding onto the part of the bar that’s a little too close to my arm for my liking.

“Uh,” I look over at Alex who has finally noticed my plea for help.

“Watch out Simmons. That’s my cousin you’re hitting on,” Alex says as he greets the strange man. They do that handshake to hug thing guys always do. 

“Alex buddy, c’mon, why didn’t you tell me you had such a hot cousin,” the man asks as he moves his hands outward. 

“Because hot and cousin should never be in the same sentence,” Alex jokingly punches him in the arm. 

I laugh nervously and scan the room, but he’s nowhere to be found. The stage is clear and all his bandmates are here. C’mon Eddie, where are you?

“Tell me baby, what are you drinking,” the creepy bass player asks me.

“Um,” I look from him to Alex and back to my empty glass on the bar.

“Hey bartender,” Bass Boy barks to the older man behind the bar. “Give the lady whatever she likes, on me.”

“Oh, no, that’s really not nec–”

“Y/N?”

I turn over my shoulder, in the direction of the voice that called my name. There’s a sea of people, but only one Eddie Munson trying to weave his way through them. 

“Eddie?”

And then without thinking, my body lurches forward and once he’s in arms reach, I wrap my arms around him. His body is warm against mine. I’m surprised to feel more muscles under my fingertips, but he still smells just like cigarettes and Irish Spring soap. 

He hugs me back just as tightly. I fit in his arms perfectly, and for a moment, the world stops. The earth stops spinning on its axis. At this moment, it’s just us. No one else. Just me and Eddie, like no time has passed at all.  

It feels so good. It feels so right to be back in his arms like this.

But then, the moment ends and he’s the first one to pull away, but only enough to still hold me at an arm's length distance.

“It’s you, I can’t believe it’s you,” he exclaims with wild eyes.

“I know! I can’t believe it’s you either,” I reply, still holding onto him too, like an anchor. As if letting go of his arms could mean letting him go metaphorically too. Can’t have that happen again.

“Munson,” someone whistles. We both turn to look at Bass Boy, Alex, and the rest of the gang gawking at us.

Eddie brings an arm around my mid back and ushers me over to the group.

“Great set by the way,” I whisper to him as we make our way over.

“You liked it?” Eddie smiles.

I nod and smile sheepishly, “Yeah, of course I did. You played our song. I loved it.”

“Good. I was worried it was either gonna be really cool or really corny,” he says and I laugh as we reach the group.

“Hey man,” Bass Boy says to Eddie, smiling, but the rest of his face is scrunched in anger.

“Hey Jim, this is Y/N,” Eddie introduces me.

“Yeah, looks like we got a head start on the introductions Eddie,” I smile at him and wink at Jim, the creepy bass player.

Jim nervously laughs and shakes his head, “So, uh, remind me how you two know each other?”

Eddie and I look at each other and smile which turns into giggling. 

“We, uh, we go way back,” Eddie smiles at me and nods before looking back at Jim.

I shyly look at Jim and decide it’s only right to bust his balls a little bit more.

“Hey Jim, can I still take you up on that free drink?” I ask in a sweet innocent voice.

“Um…” Jim looks nervously from me to Eddie. I look over to Eddie and he’s rolling his eyes, turning into a fit of laughter.

“C’mon man, you really offered to buy my girl a drink,” Eddie teases him.

“I didn’t know she was your girl man,” Jim huffs and crosses his arms.

Now, technically, I’m not Eddie’s girl, at least not in the way one might assume from hearing that phrase, but god does it sound so good to hear them all calling me Eddie’s girl.

“But he did learn I was Alex’s hot cousin. Didn’t you Jim,” I smirk at him and wink. Eddie bursts out laughing. He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his back to help prop him up.

“Hot cousin. Oh god Jim, c’mon man. The least you can do is buy her the drink, for her troubles,” Eddie laughs.

I bat my eyelashes at Jim and smile innocently. “Pretty please?”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. I order my drink and Jim actually sticks to his word and pays for the drink. When he leaves, I take a sip and ask Eddie if he wants one too.

“Hell yeah! Free drinks always taste better.”

I laugh and smile at him. He hasn’t changed a bit.

“I can’t believe how long it’s been. I mean, just look at your hair? Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s just so different from the last time I saw you. What happened to looking like a wanna be Kirk Hammett?”

“How dare you suggest I’m not still a wanna be Kirk Hammet?”

I take him in and he looks broader, stronger. Eddie’s never been the type to work out, but maybe after fixing cars all day, it’s had an effect on his body. 

And even in the way he smiles, there’s almost a glow to his features that I haven’t seen in a really long time. I’m glad it’s still there.

I laugh, before telling him in an earnest way, “You look good Munson.”

He returns the same look and says, “You look good too, sweetheart.”

The moment lasts for so long before he clears his throat. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but uh, I brought some friends with me,” Eddie says as he ushers me closer to the group.

Eddie moves aside and the girl on drums smiles at us. 

“Hi, I’m Robin,” She greets cheerfully. 

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” I  nervously smile. 

“Oh, so this is the legendary Y/N we’ve heard so much about,” Robin comments and I can feel myself turn ghost white.

“You probably don’t recognize me or Steve or Nancy for that matter, but we all went to Hawkins High too.”

“Class of ‘85,” Steve smiles.

“‘86,” Nancy, Robin, and Eddie say in unison.

“You’re right,” I laugh, “You were all juniors and sophomores when I graduated in ‘84. Although I think I remember Steve. Even though he was a grade below us when I met Eddie, I distinctly remember hearing about some kid with the hair all the girls in the grade below us would fawn over.” 

“Guilty as charged,” Steve blushes as Nancy brings a hand up and musses with it.

We smile and laugh as Steve cringes out of her touch and moves his hands up to fix his hair.

“Well, I say we propose a toast,” Eddie says and I look at him in confusion.

“You don’t even have a drink Eddie.”

“I’ll just share yours,” he shrugs as if that were the most obvious thing ever.

“Tonight we celebrate the homecoming of our New York superstars Y/N and Nancy, who have graced us with their presence this holiday season,” he says in that silly albeit formal voice he used to always use for D&D campaigns.

Nancy and I look at each other and in the same breath say, “You’re from New York too?”

“Yeah, I went to Sarah Lawrence and fell in love with the city! I’ve been doing internships at different publishing agencies across the city since, but my dream is to be a reporter for the New York Times.”

“No way! I actually have a friend that works at the Times. I could always put in a good word for you if you like.”

Nancy looks starstruck. “Oh my god, that would just be perfect. Are you a journalist too?”

“No, um, I’m a,” I nervously say and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m a lawyer, actually. But, my roommate in undergrad was a journalism major. She’s the one who works at the Times. Now that we live in the same city again we try to get coffee once a month. Maybe you can join us sometime.”

“Yes! That would be a dream come true,” Nancy exclaims with a twinkle in her eye.

Robin and Steve look at each other and they make this offputting face. Like they hear us and comprehend the words we’re saying, but because they can’t relate in any way shape or form, they don’t really understand.

“So how long have you been living in the city,” Nancy asks, completely unaware of the look that just transpired between Steve and Robin.

“Um, for the past two years. After law school, I passed the bar and made the move to work at a law firm there.”

“Holy shit,” Nancy and Steve say in unison.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eddie looking at me in awe. The newfound spotlight put on me makes me want to run out of here.

“Shit,” Eddie claps a hand on my shoulder and I flinch from surprise.

“Finally put all that stubbornness and fierceness to good use huh? I heard you’d done it all, but goddamn, it’s something else to hear it from you. You really went out and did everything you said you would.”

I look at Eddie and see the amazement and pride in his eyes. For a moment, I feel like I’m too big, bigger than everyone else here. I want to make myself smaller.

But it’s only when Eddie looks at me, like he’s looking at a movie star or an angel sent from heaven, that it goes away. Like nothing else matters. Because if Eddie Munson is proud of me, then I must be doing something right.

“Guys, this girl right here was one tough cookie. She could talk her way out of practically anything. Forget bullies or hardass teachers. She was a fighter, that one.”

I look at him and I could cry. To hear myself be described in this way, is endearing but it’s not the whole truth. I was a fighter, but not in the moment it mattered most.

“Thanks, haha, but um, enough about me. How do you all know Eddie?”

“That’s a long story,” Steve chuckles as he runs a hand through his stupid hair. 

“So I've heard,” I reply, slightly annoyed that none of his friends will explain to me how they know each other. 

“Let’s just say we were all at completely different corners of the high school cafeteria who somehow managed to find each other,” Nancy adds. The four of them all smirk like they’re in on some inside joke. It infuriates me. 

The rest of the evening, I try to fit in with their group but find myself feeling like an outsider looking in. Even my cousin has managed to seamlessly incorporate himself into their friend group. Which is good for him, but inconvenient for me.

All throughout the night, I find my eyes drawn to Eddie, like I’m some compass and he’s the goddamn North Star. I distract myself with sips of my drink and busying myself with getting a refill. 

I scan the wood planked interior with neon signs and coca cola decorations scattered about. The scent of tobacco and haze of cigarette smoke fills the air. Patrons select songs on the jukebox, but a certain one won’t stop playing Don’t Stop Believin by Journey and it’s starting to make me hate the song. 

“This old place hasn’t changed a bit,” Eddie comments to me while the rest of the gang are concentrated on a game of pool. Steve is waiting for his turn while Nancy strategically positions herself for her next move.

“No, not really,” I neutrally say. “They even have the same band that’s been playing since 1984.”

“Yeah, I heard they had to replace a few players though, just never sounded the same since.”

“You think so?”

“After Gareth and Jeff left for college, I tried to find a few replacement players, but no one wanted in. Corroded Coffin actually went on hiatus for a little while.”

“What? Oh Eddie,” I place a hand on his bicep. He looks down at my hand then up at my eyes. 

“I can’t believe that happened. That really sucks. I know how much it meant to you.”

“It’s okay. I ended up finding some new people who really kick ass, so it was worth the wait.”

“Even if some of those players are super skeezy,” I look over at Jim who’s cornered some poor girl at the bar.

“Sorry about Jim. He just got out of a relationship so he’s been really… on the prowl lately.”

“He was so creepy Eddie.”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him. He’s a beast at bass though. Got a lot of energy. Just doesn’t know how to channel it sometimes.”

I nod, understandingly. “So things are all good with the band now?”

“Yeah, they are now. Back at home base, just having a good time.”

“That’s good. I’m really happy for you Eddie.” I say, and I mean it. 

“Thanks. You know I could never give up guitar though. Whether I’m playing alone or with a full band by my side, the day I stop playing is the day I die.”

I laugh at his theatrics.

“Seriously, I’ll never stop. Even after you left, I couldn’t stop playing those stupid songs by The Smiths you always liked.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he nervously fidgets with the rings on his fingers.

“I always liked hearing you play. Even when your uncle complained about the noise because he had to get some shut eye before his next shift.”

“God, I forgot about that. I was such a little shit back then.”

“Back then?”

Eddie laughs and I smile at him.

“How has Wayne been?”

Eddie’s eyes widen. “Oh yeah, Uncle Wayne’s doing alright. A lot better, now.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, the doctors found a hernia in him about a year or two ago.”

“What? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, he had to get surgery but he’s fine now. He’ll be retiring in a few years so that’s kinda been his saving grace.”

“Aw, that’s great. Your Uncle Wayne’s always been a good man.”

“Yeah, you’re not the only lady who thinks so.”

I wrinkle my nose, “What?”

“He’s got a girlfriend now.”

My eyes widen and I nearly spit out some of my drink, “Shut up!”

Eddie nods and chuckles. 

“No fucking way!”

“Yup. They’ve been together since the hernia stuff happened.”

“Wow, way to go Uncle Wayne. How’d they meet?”

“She was one of his nurses.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet. Do you like her?”

“Yeah, she’s a good woman. I can tell she makes my uncle happy.”

“That’s good. I’m glad things really turned around, for the both of you.”

Eddie nods with a pained look on his face. Oh no, did I say the wrong thing?

“What about you, how’s the old parental unit?”

“Um, they’re doing alright. Been taking care of the restaurant while my siblings and I all go off and do our own things. Once my brother graduates, they’re looking to get an RV and travel the country or whatever. Typical middle-age shenanigans.”

“Nice,” he laughs. “You know, sometimes I still go out to the restaurant. Usually with Alex. He’s a pretty good buffer. After all this time, the food never dispapoints.”

My heart stops for a moment and I grab him by the arm. “You… You still go to my parents restaurant?”

“Yeah.”

“Do they… you know, see you?”

“Yes, they see me,” he laughs, “It’s kind of hard not to.”

I gulp. “Do they ever… say anything?”

“Nah. They’re cool. Eddie, the customer, they like. Eddie, the former love of their daughter's life, not so much.”

I tighten my grip on his arm to anchor myself. I think I might faint.

“How’re your siblings doing?”

To my luck, the change in subject subsides the bubbling wave of anxiety about to crash on me.

“Oh, they… They’re doing good. My brother’s still in undergrad and my sister’s in grad school.”

“Wow,” Eddie nods, but he looks at me like he understands, even though he can’t relate at all.

“What are they studying?”

“My brother’s doing business and my sister wants to do aerospace engineering. She got a little too obsessed with Top Gun if you know what I mean,” I snort and Eddie laughs.

“I swear, you three are every parents wet dream.”

I shrug, “Yeah, we are aren’t we?”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Eddie reassures me. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… you know how my parents were. It wasn’t just me who got pressured into having a lucrative, stable job.”

Eddie reaches outward and grabs my hand, “Yeah, I know.”

I look at our intertwined limbs and frown. Accidentally admitting a shameful truth feels weird, but just like when we were kids, he’s the only one that’s ever understood how I felt. 

“They’re proud as hell, you know. Got tons of pictures of you at the restaurant. Sort of looks like a shrine actually, with a candle and everything.”

I laugh and roll my eyes, “Ugh I know. I’ve been trying to tell them to take it down but they won’t listen.”

We laugh in unison, but when we stop and catch our breath, something overcomes me and I feel compelled to be a little too real with him.

“You know, sometimes I think they’re just relieved I got my degree and haven’t gotten pregnant. I think that’s all they really wanted from me. I don’t think they really cared what else I do.”

“What? I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Um, you’re right, it’s not true anymore. Now that I’m the same age my mom was when she had me, all she can talk about is how much she wants grandkids.”

“What?” Eddie snorts.

“Yes! She went from, sex is a forbidden act of the devil to an absolute necessity we will incessantly encourage you to have.”

Eddie chokes at my words. “That is… mental.”

“Yeah, I finally got to the point where I’m comfortable with sex, but kids, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.”

Eddie blinks and lets go of my hand, “Yeah, um, I’m sure your boyfriend probably appreciates that.”

“My ex, um, yeah, I wasn’t afraid anymore with him, but that’s all in the past.”

“Oh,” Eddie replies. The clanking of pool balls catches our attention.

“What about you? I bet your, uh, girlfriend probably loves watching you perform live.”

“Yeah, uh, she did, before she dumped me and skipped town to Indianapolis.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “Like you said, it’s all in the past.”

And then he grabs my hand again and looks at me. I look back at him and without saying a word, his eyes tell me something. 

They say to me: those relationships might be in the past, but ours doesn’t have to be.

“Hey uh, I know this might be kind of weird, but uh, do you maybe want to get out of here?” Eddie asks me.

I look over to Eddie’s friends and Alex who’s sitting at the bar with some girl. 

I don’t know what to do. Instinctively my body screams yes, I want to be alone with you Eddie, but the angel on my shoulder says it would be wrong.  

“Um, let me just check in with my cousin real quick.”

I make a beeline over to my cousin before Eddie can say something.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but Alex, uh, sidebar?”

“Side what?” 

“I need to ask you something.”

The girl looks at me irritatedly. “Sorry, he’s my cousin, we’re here with mutual friends, this’ll take thirty seconds.”

“Make this quick Y/N,” Alex commands with raised eyebrows.

“Eddie asked me if I wanted to get out of here!”

“Ok then, what are you still doing here? Talking to me?”

“Because I’m…What? I can’t go!”

“Why not?”

“Because… because… it…”

“Do you not want to?”

“I-I… It’s not that I don’t want to…”

“Y/N it's a simple yes or no question, do you want to go with him?”

I inhale deeply, “Yes.”

“Okay, then, it's as simple as that.”

“No, it's not that simple.”

“Why not?”

“Because, because… what if my parents find out? What if I get in trouble again?”

“Y/N, you can’t be serious. This isn’t 1984. You have a masters degree and you’re still afraid of your parents?”

“Well… I also need to get home and be there for them and grandma and everyone.”

“Y/N, we literally spent all day with them, what more could they want from you? You’re an adult. You can do what you want. This is your life to live. You’ll literally be fine. Now c’mon, go home with Eddie,” Alex gently nudges me away. 

 “Everything okay,” Steve asks as I approach the table.

“Oh, um, yeah. I was just telling Alex that I’m ready to head out, but he’s gonna stay here for a bit longer, so I’m gonna head out with Eddie.” 

I look over at Eddie and he smiles shyly

I nod, physically aware of several sets of eyes on me. 

“Ok,” Eddie says as he sets his drink down and straightens his jacket. ‘Let’s get going then.”

I nod and move over to give everyone a hug goodbye. “It was really nice meeting you all. Nancy, ask Eddie for my number and give me a call when you’re in New York.”

Once Eddie has said goodbye to the girls, he gives a final goodbye to Steve. They do a weird handshake thing where it looks like Steve is passing something to Eddie, but I can’t quite see what it is. He pockets it quickly after, and I can only assume it’s a little bit of weed or something.

“You ready to go, sweetheart,” Eddie asks and if those exact words don’t make me feel seventeen again, I don’t know what will.

I nod and he places an arm around my waist and leads me out of the bar. The cold blast of night air hits us and I shiver. Eddie holds me tightly against his side. We walk over to his car in silence, only the sound of the pebbles and grass crunching beneath our feet to fill the air.

He leads me over to a small forest green sedan.

“Oh no! What happened to the van?”

“I had to say goodbye,” he says as he opens the door for me. “She finally gave out back in ‘89.”

“The end of an era,” I comment as he slides into the driver's seat.

He puts the key into the ignition and starts the car. He pushes around a few buttons and a warm and welcomed heat is released from the air vents. 

A Metallica tape roars from the dash. Eddie lowers the volume and mutters a quick “sorry”. I guess some things never change.

He pulls out of the parking lot and turns onto the main road.

“Hey,” Eddie looks over at me, “Do you want to go touch the stars? For old times sake.”

My eyes light up and I grin. Going out to “touch the stars” was our code for going stargazing at Lovers Lake. Just the two of us, alone, away from all our problems.

“I’d love that.”

The drive there is silent, in a comforting way. Eddie knows these roads like the back of his hands. And being in the passenger seat like this, by Eddie’s side, even in a different car, feels familiar, in a surprisingly good way. 

You can feel the passage of time in the new car and the new hairstyles and new clothes we wear, but otherwise, it feels just like it did in ‘84.

Eddie even takes us to the same spot we used to go to. 

God, have I just gone through a time machine? 

I look over at Eddie as he puts the gear in park. The light from the moon illuminates his features, skin more sturdy and with a few more creases than it did in ‘84, but just as beautiful.

We get out of the car and proceed to lay on the hood of his car. The warmth of the car welcomed in the cool of the night.

“It’s easier to climb on this thing than the van was, but it’s so much smaller! One wrong move and I’m gonna fall off.”

“Sorry we don’t all have fancy lawyer money to buy us fancy lawyer cars.”

“Well, this fancy lawyer doesn't need a fancy lawyer car in New York, but she does have quite a lot of fancy lawyer debt,” I retort.

“Debt?”

“Yeah man. I was lucky to have had enough scholarships to cover undergrad, but law school was all out of my own pocket.”

“Shit. You holding up okay?”

“Yeah, the fancy lawyer money’s been helping a lot. Even though living in the city costs quite the pretty penny.”

“How’re you liking it?”

“The city?”

“The city, the job, everything.”

I exhale, “I love it. It’s everything I hoped for and more.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how different things are than what I was used to growing up. But in a good way, like, I can’t believe this all exists. I can’t believe how big this world is.”

Eddie turns his head over to look at me.

I look back up at the sky and see the most stars I’ve seen in years. It’s like glitter.

“But other times, when I’m in a room full of people, I feel sort of alone. Like even though I connect really well with my friends or coworkers, I don’t think they really understand me or the kind of life I came from. 

I mean, by Hawkins standards my family is doing well, thanks to the restaurant, but Eddie, you should see these people. 

I mean they grew up in big cities with things like lake houses and beach houses and fancy private schools and summer trips abroad and family members that are also lawyers or doctors or engineers. 

Meanwhile I…I’m the first in my family to even go to grad school, let alone graduate from it. But it’s weird because even when I’m back here, I feel out of place. Like I’m too much for Hawkins, but not enough for New York.”

“You were never too much for me.” Eddie says in a low voice as he keeps looking up at the stars.

“Not then,” he turns to look at me, “And not now.”

I’m starting to blink rapidly. It’s one of those rare moments where someone says just the right words at just the right time. Like I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect moment. 

I don’t really know what to say, so all I can think to do is reach out and grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. Even after all these years, I still feel just as safe and protected by Eddie. Like I could say my deepest darkest fears and he would still be by my side.

“Do you think you would ever move back to Hawkins?”

I sigh, “I don’t know. Never say never I guess, but I really don’t see myself coming back. Do you think you would ever move out to the city?”

“I tried the city thing for a bit after high school actually. I tried kicking it with Gareth in Indianapolis. But I had a lot of unresolved issues that got in the way of it so I had to come back. And now, I feel like I’m finally at a good place, a stable place. I’ve got a good job, steady paycheck, good friends, family, music. It’s more than I had as a kid, so I think I’m gonna keep riding this out for as long as I can.”

“That’s fair,” I muse, contemplating the ever-widening gap in our life choices and dreams.

I snort at the impending realization, “Wait, I almost forgot to ask, how’s the old side business coming along?”

“Actually, I uh, closed up shop a while ago?”

“What? You did?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“A bit of a drug bust,” Eddie chuckles.

I shift my torso to face him and look at him with concern, “Eddie.”

“With Wayne.”

“Oh… Wait, what?!”

“Yeah, turns out he knew the whole time. But it wasn’t until a particular deal I had at the trailer while he was home that he finally called me out on it.”

“Shit. What did he say to you?”

“He wasn’t even mad at me, he just said he was disappointed which was about a thousand times fucking worse for some reason.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah and it made me think about how you weren’t a big fan of it either. So I made a promise to myself that when I had the money and could land on my feet, I would stop. Sure enough, I gave it up after I started working at the mechanic shop and had enough money to move out.”

“Oh, Eddie. That’s-Wow.”

“I mean, I’m definitely not opposed to sharing the occasional joint with Robin and the gang, but otherwise I’ve been trying to distance myself from that whole thing. Helped me get through a lot of stuff when I was younger, but now, I kinda don’t need it as much anymore.”

“Wow, you’ve really mellowed out over the years,” I shove him teasingly and he chuckles. He rests his head against mine. 

“I’m proud of you Eddie. And not just for walking a cleaner path, but for everything. For graduating, being there for your uncle, finding your own family, and–”

“Growing up?’ he asks, but it’s teasing. “Yeah, in a way. Even though l liked immature Eddie, maturity really suits you too.”

“I’m proud of you too babe. Even though we were miles apart, I was always rooting for you.”

I turn over to face him, this time turning my entire body to face his. “You were?”

Eddie mirrors my movement and turns his whole body to face me. “Yeah, of course I was.”

I close my eyes and lean my head into his chest. “I think I want immature Eddie back.” 

Eddie strokes my hair. “I know, but I wanted you to hear it. And deep down, I think you needed to hear it too.”

“Eddie, “I prop myself up on my elbows. “There’s something I think I need you to hear too.”

“Yeah,” he asks, propping himself up on his elbows too. 

I inhale, breath shaky. I look at him, and the moonlight is bathing his pale skin so perfectly. He looks like a prince, like a beauty. 

And then it hits me, in this moment, it’s everything I wanted. Everything I couldn’t have with Eddie as a teenager, I can finally have now. And I want it, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

Please, please, please, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.

“I’m sorry.”

------------------------------------------------

taglist: @tayhar811@all-time-otaku

[priokskfm]

#FREEDOWNLOADS #FREEPROMO #RADIOCHART John Turrell - Won't Get Fooled Again (Basement Freaks Remix) A longtime collaborator of John’s on various projects and with a recent feature on his album in place meant that Basement Freaks was the first to petition his involvement. ‘Won't Get Fooled Again’ was without a doubt the perfect choice and it has been given an electro boogie makeover, reinvigorated by a bassline so infectious it would make Bootsy Collins bounce in funk heaven. Buy/Stream: JohnTurrell.lnk.to/TheKingmakerRemixed Скачать: https://ift.tt/Ni6SEQW https://ift.tt/VY0WZiD

[rayless-reblogs]

Thank you for the tag, @wsancho! I love memes like this.

*People I want to get to know better

Last song I listened to: "Vox" by Sarah McLachlan, off the Mirrorball album. That used to be one of my very favorite songs, and it still has a killer hook.

Favourite colour: It changes, but right now rusty red. I just got some new sunglasses with rust-red frames and I love them.

Currently watching: The Dick Van Dyke Show. It's definitely a comfort show for me, not very realistic but extremely funny with some very talented old-school actors.

Last movie: I think it was the 2005 Pride and Prejudice? I'm not a huge Austen fan, or even really a Pride and Prejudice fan, but that movie is just so beautiful to watch.

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Definitely not spicy. I'd like to develop a better tolerance for spice because there are so many delicious foods that are spicy, but it's been an uphill battle. (I feel proud when I eat a single jalapeno.) I really like the combination of sweet and savory together, like chocolate and salt.

Relationship status: Instead, I'll go with what I'm playing right now: Final Fantasy 16. I have a lot of very mixed feelings about it, some good, some bad. I'll be curious to see what others fans' takes are once I'm through. (I'm about halfway, I think.)

Current obsessions: With Fate/Extra Record being released next year, I'm definitely zeroing in on that. I wouldn't say I'm exactly a fan of the Fate franchise as a whole, but I've always loved the little Extra corner of it. I've also been on a Tanith Lee kick lately, and fortunately there's still a lot of her bibliography I've yet to read.

Last thing I googled: I've had to search the definitions of a lot of words lately -- I read Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr and he kept throwing around words I've never heard before, like Parousia and mephitic.

No pressure, if you feel like jumping on the bandwagon, I'm tagging: Anyone who sees this and wants to do it, go for it!

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

Reading ep 13 and OMC A PERSON IS SPEAKING OMC OMC THEY FINALLY MANAGED TO FIND JALAPENO AND HIS TAPE RECORDER GUY IN HIS LOCKER OLG I'M SO PROUD OF HIM FOR FINALLY SOCIALISING.

[jordie-gvf]

dont you ever grow up, sammy

a fluffy dad!sam fic for you!

summary : it was your daughters 16th birthday and sam hates the idea of his babygirl growing up

word count : 1.9k+

warnings : Safety Sam 🫠, mentions of getting pregnant, i cant think of anything else, let me know if i am missing any!

enjoy

It was your daughter, Elodie's, 16th birthday today. You had woken up before Sam had, you read and waited for him to wake up. When he woke up, he cuddled into your legs and said, “Do we have to celebrate her birthday?” You looked at him and frowned. “Yes baby, it's her birthday.” He frowned and kissed your thighs. 

You both showered and went downstairs to see Elodie sitting on the couch with Rosie and Odette, the cat you had got for your birthday. Atlas, your 5 year old, ran downstairs and went straight to his older sister and yelled out, “Happy Birthday DiDi!” She hugged her brother and said, “Thank you Atlas!”

You and Sam both had not grown up getting handed everything, but Elodie on the other hand, had. She was very fortunate and she knew that and was very thankful for it. Her birthday gift was a Volkswagen Beetle. She had always talked about them and how much she loved them. You got her the blue one, her favorite color, and some accessories you knew she would love. She hadn't known she was getting a car, but you knew she would be very grateful. 

She didn't really want a themed party, but you knew what she wanted on her cake. You had gotten her a pink and black cheetah cake and had “Elodie’s Sweet Sixteen!” written on it. You already brought  it home and put it down, Sam took one look at it and started crying. “It feels like yesterday when you had her. I can't believe we were 19.” He put his head on your shoulder and put your hand on his cheek and kissed his head. Elodie got up from the couch and hugged her father. She whispered to him, “I'll always be your little girl. I love you Daddy.” She truly loved her father, she loved him more than anything. 

She had wanted finger foods for her party. You had made spinach dip, jalapeno dip, cocktail weenies and meatballs, and her favorite, a charcuterie board. You had water and sodas arranged in a drink tin. Her decorations were retro 70s, thanks to her uncles. She quickly got up and said, “It's time for me to change.” She went upstairs to get into her party wear. She came down with a floral bell sleeve shirt, daisy earrings, bell bottoms, and white chunky heeled boots. She walked down the stairs and Sammy took one look and said, “Look at my munchkin! Happy 16th.” She looked at him and smiled. She looked amazing. 

When everyone was done eating the food you had out, it was time for presents. Josh got her a record player and a lot of his favorite records. Jake got her some more floral jewelry, flowers were her favorite. Danny got her a hydro flask, rings, and a bluetooth speaker. She thanked all of them and gave them hugs. You looked at her and said, “Alright it's time for our gifts.” You handed her a big box with a blanket in it. When she was younger, you made her a fleece tie blanket. She had lost the one you made her when she and Sammy went overseas for a tour. She was devastated when she told you she had lost it. You got the exact same fabric and made her a new one. She opened the box and started to cry. “Mama, you made me a new one?” She said, and hugged you tightly. Sam handed her a big box, containing smaller boxes, but the last one contained a car key. “Why is it so big, what the hell did you get me?” She asked, and Sam looked at her and said, “You'll see, open it.” She tore at the paper and opened the box, she said, “Really, one of these” She smiled and continued to open the box. Kelly had gone out to the dealership and had put the car in the garage last night. She got to the last box and opened it, and her brown eyes widened and she jumped up. “Daddy! You guys got me a car?” She ran out to the garage and fell to her knees. You both walked over to her and hugged her. She got up off the floor and said, “You didn't have to get me a car. I love it so much. Thank you guys.” She looked at her dad and her brother and held up the key, “Want to come with?” as she took the car for a spin. Safety Sam had got in the front seat and said, “Belts on.” Elodie and Atlas both listened right away. She backed out of the driveway and took them around the block. 

When they got home, Elodie went to you and hugged you again. “Seriously Mom, thank you. I love you. Thank you for the best birthday ever.” She ran to her friends who were in the backyard in the pool. She told them she would be right back to go put her suit on. She came down in a bikini. Sam looked at her and said, “And where do you think you're going with that on?” She smiled and said, “To the pool, with my friends, who are girls, who are straight. You don't need to worry.” You put your hand on his shoulder to say, let her go, and he backed off. 

Atlas came over to you and said, “Mamma she didn't open my gift” and frowned. You told him that she will open it tonight after dinner. After everyone had left and Sam helped you clean up, it was dinner time. Taking after her father with the love of pasta, she requested Olive Garden. She asked if she could drive by herself there and that she would meet us there. She pulled you to the side and said, “Mamma, do you think Daddy would get mad if I picked up a girl and brought her with us to dinner?” You looked at her and said, “Probably, but it's your birthday. I won't even tell him anything. Go” She smiled and hugged you and told her dad, “I'll see you guys there.” and went off. 

When you had arrived at Olive Garden before she did, he was in a panic. He checked Life360 at least 5 times before he called her. She picked up and said, “Sorry, detour.” You heard the Addie, the girl Elodie had a crush on, say, “Sorry Mr. Kiszka.” Sam looked at you and said, “Is that Addie? The Addie?” You nodded and he said, “That's alright Addie. I look forward to meeting you. Elodie, drive safe. I love you, see you soon,” and hung up. He walked over to you and said, “Addie is the one she's had a crush on since middle school right?” You nodded and said, “Mhm, Addie.”

You had sat down in a booth and ordered breadsticks and drinks, knowing both girls liked water. Elodie and Addie showed up and sat down in the booth in front of you. Elodie pulled out her phone, and you heard a vibration in your purse. You pulled out your phone and saw a message from her

Elodie Girl <3

Mamma

She asked me out

And I said yes!!

I'll tell him later

Not knowing what to say, you looked over the table and smiled, happy for your daughter. Elodie had asked if her and Addie could get ice cream on the way home, and you said yes. You handed her $20, but Addie said, “Dont worry Mrs. K, I've got it.” You smiled at her and said, “Are you sure? I have no problem paying for it” She nodded her head and assured you that she would pay. Elodie had driven them to Jeni’s, Elodies favorite ice cream shop. You kept checking Life360, she had texted you saying she dropped Addie back home and that she was on her way home. You were already in her room, sitting in her papasan chair, waiting for her to come home. She had gotten home and came upstairs yelling for you. She figured out where you were, let Rosie and Odette in, shut and locked the door. She went into her en suite bathroom and showered and came back in her pajamas

She sat down, and you said, “Tell me everything. Dads with Atlas in the basement.” She laughed and gave you the rundown of the ice cream date. It just so happens that across from Jeni’s is a playground and they went on the swings together and ate their ice cream. 

She had your full attention, something you never had from your mother. There was a knock on the door and Rosie was ready to attack whoever was outside her door. Elodie got up and unlocked the door, Atlas had walked in with his gift in his hand. “I never got to give this to you today.” and handed her the gift. He sat on her bed as she opened the gift. It was a small locket, with a picture of the two of them together. She looked at him with adoration and said, “Thank you, I love it.” and she put it on. 

Sam had walked into her room and told Atlas it was bedtime. You told him you would take Atlas to his room and put him to bed. You grabbed him and winked at your daughter and shut her door. 

You brought him to your bathroom and put him in the tub. You grabbed all his water toys and his shampoo. You put bubbles in the water and gave him a bath. When you were done, you brought him out to your bed and saw Sam on the bed watching tv. You helped Atlas put his clothes on. You told Atlas to go pick out books that you would read to him. Sam looked at you and said, “She told me she was scared to tell me she liked girls. She was scared.” You looked at him and said, “I was scared to tell my father, but he was also slightly homophobic.” He looked back and said, “Yeah, but I'm not your father. I told her she didn't have to be scared to tell me and she started crying.” You felt for your daughter, you were scared to tell your parents you liked girls, but you got over it and did, when you were 25 and Elodie was 6. “When she told me, I told her I liked girls too, and that you were very accepting of it. I left the part out about what else you said” and he smiled. He grabbed your waist and put you on his hips. He kissed you and said, “I want another one. Let's make another one.” and winked. Atlas walked in and said, “I picked out my books Mamma.” You smiled and nodded. He walked out and Sam said, “He can wait 15 minutes, right?” You shook your head and laughed. “Go ahead Mamma.” and sent you off to his room.

You finished reading to him and walked into your room. When you walked in, Sam was nowhere to be found. He came out from behind the door, picked you up by your waist and said, “Come on, showers on. Let's make more.” and brought you to the bathroom.

What a way to celebrate a birthday, that wasn't even yours.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-11-27

Snow

Listening: Someone on IRC linked me to 3Blue1Brown's Hallelujah Parody about the vicissitudes of apparent patterns in sequences.

Reading: You Want My Password or a Dead Patient:, a paper about information security and the lack thereof in medical contexts. Paper linked here, but I first heard about it in this Choast.

A very good deep dive into the extremes of classic reasons why information security is bypassed: it's just much more important that you have access to resources Right Now in a hospital context than it is that they are secure against hacker, most of the time.

Hospitals process a lot of private information, so they are often beholden to the security standards imposed by regulations agencies. If you've engaged with mandatory security regulations you'll know a lot of them are, uh, bad?

(Famously if you want to meet US FIPS Government Standards you cannot use the Good Elliptic Curve ed25519 and instead you have to use a different, less well secured curve.)

Anyway what this means is that you have a significant conflict between the very high stakes and fast paced world of hospital medicine, and a system that wants you to log back in every time you step away from the x-ray machine.

Watching: Nothing.

Playing: As you may know if you're following me, I started Dark Souls this week. I am having a great time in Dark Souls! It's a lot of fun. I am still where I was yesterday, having just beaten the Belltower Gargoyles.

There are definitely notes that I have. It is for sure a 12 year old game. Some of the opacity is definitely intentional difficulty, like requiring you to just feel out the parry timing, but I it probably wouldn't make the game any easier if it had reliable indicators of when you're in position to backstab or riposte someone and it would make parrying much more fun. I like parrying but so often you parry someone and then just hit them normally instead of going for the cool finisher riposte.

Making: Like ten minutes ago I reopened Cinnabar and Calcite and did a little hardware swap, moving a new network card into Calcite and Calcite's old network card into Cinnabar. Everyone is settled back in. Wifi card upgrades are not really essential but it is nice to have wifi on a desktop even if you don't use it because a) someday you will and b) it's free bluetooth.

Also: Wrote some very bad bash to use my motherboard RGB as a tally light for recording these Dark Souls clips, since I've lost a few clips to hitting the wrong record button a few times.

Tools and Equipment: Original Tuesdayposter @girlfriendsofthegalaxy had a video on marinara sauce this last Tuesday and I was inspired to try some tomato pasta bakes. I usually make Mornay sauce based pasta bakes because it's what my parents usually made, but you gotta try a really spicy tomato pasta bake.

I got some habaneros and jalapenos from the farmers market and made a big pot of spicy tomato tuna bake and especially with the weather being How It Is that was great, I'm making a mushroom one sometime soon it kicked ass. That recipe was loosely based on this one, although I put in a bunch of extra vegetables.