#Jensen x nanny!reader

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Love You Too (Part 1)

Summary: It’s been six months since the accident. Six months and Jensen can’t stand feeling helpless anymore. He knows he needs to start figuring out how to work again while being a single parent and juggling his concerned family. He absolutely doesn’t want it but he needs help in the form of a live-in nanny to help with the day to day. As much as he didn’t want that nanny or her help, she’s going to make him feel things he never dared to again and in the process, discover that some people in life get more than one soulmate...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jenssen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 9,500ish

Warnings: language, angst, death of a spouse, lying, mentions of injury/death of a spouse/death of a parent, internal turmoil

A/N: Please enjoy the first part of this Jensen POV series! I am SO excited to be sharing this story with you from Jensen’s side! 

______

“Hey buddy,” I heard as the door from the bedroom to the private balcony opened. I didn’t move from my seat, stayed still and quiet as the door shut behind me. A hand ruffled my hair and I turned away from the touch. “Want to come downstairs and watch Christmas Vacation with everyone? Kids are down for the count.”

“No thanks,” I said quietly, waiting for my brother to leave me alone again. The hand didn’t leave my hair and I closed my eyes. “I’m a little beat after a long couple days. You guys go ahead without me.”

“Thanks for the new toolset. I really like it,” he said. 

“You’re welcome.” I opened my eyes slowly, staring at the wood decking, Josh still playing with my hair. 

“Next year won’t be as hard. I promise.”

“Well it was a little hard to try and accommodate my children asking for their dead mother for Christmas,” I said. I held my breathing steady, pulling on all of those little acting strings tucked away in the back of my head to stop myself from saying more. “Maybe we can take all the kids ice skating tomorrow.”

“Sure. Mom and dad would like that,” I said. “Maybe get a real smile on that face.”

I stared dryly at the decking, overdue for a power wash but then again, what did it matter. A little bit of must and dirt didn’t bother me.

“I’m not saying six months is enough time to get over what happened. But find a better therapist for me. This one isn’t-”

“Josh I’m tired. I set up everything all by myself this year. I’m just tired is all. I had fun today. I promise,” I said. 

“Alright. Get some sleep then baby brother,” he said, ruffling my hair one last time.

“Not a baby,” I mumbled.

“Hey,” he said. I looked back and up at him. “You’re my baby brother no matter what, understand?” I nodded, Josh returning it. “Sleep in tomorrow. I’ll handle breakfast.”

“Maybe,” I said, turning away, glad for when the door slid open and shut once more. I looked back, Josh gone, before leaning forward in my seat. I looked up at the dark cloudy sky, rubbing my palms together. “Honey if you’re up there…”

I squeezed my eyes shut, quickly forcing them open, scrunching up my face.

“I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Nothing. Numb. But it’s been too long and everyone wants me to be better and...I can’t let ‘em down. It’s been six months. I should be better. But I just don’t...help me. Please. You have my back. I don’t know what to do except pretend the rest of my life and I’m scared what’ll happen if I do. It’s been six months and I can’t take it anymore. Tell me what to do. Please.”

A gentle breeze stirred through the air, a quiet rumble of thunder off in the distance.

“Dee?” I glanced up only to be hit in the face with hard droplets of rain, the sky opening up and pouring down. I blinked the water away, staring down at my lap. “You’re not up there. You’re just fucking gone.”

It took a moment for me to make myself rise, bringing water into the bedroom. I locked up and ditched my wet clothes in the bathroom, standing in front of the shower absently. I caught my reflection in the glass, turning to the floor length mirror, tracing a finger over the scar on my hip. I narrowed my eyes, breathing deeply. I caught my reflection, quickly looking away.

But I forced myself to look back, to meet the hard green eyes, meet the pink edges to them, to look down at the scar and then back up.

“The one fucking time you’re not driving…” I grit out, clenching my fists. “I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you you worthless son of a bitch. If you were driving you could have saved her. You could have stopped it.”

I slammed a fist against my thigh, hitting the scar again. I forced myself to stop, release my hand and instead step in the shower. I turned the water to warm and stepped under the stream, closing my eyes. My skin warmed after a few minutes and I got out, changing into a fresh pair of briefs after I was dry. I stood in the closet, almost reaching for a shirt to sleep in when I went to the other side, flipping on the light. It was mostly empty, a few boxes in there but most of it was given away to family and friends or donated. 

I stopped at the items still on hangers, grabbing a gray oversized fleece hoodie. I tugged it on, still too big for me even now. Definitely too big when I was a little twenty five year old. I grabbed the collar and tugged it up, taking a deep inhale, narrowing my eyes when all I smelled was a bit of dust. I hit off the light and went out to the bedroom, crawling into the middle. 

I hadn’t worn the sweatshirt in a decade, not long after I started dating Danneel. I pulled up the hood and plopped down, sliding under the covers, turning to face her old side of the bed. It wasn’t too long after that I heard the door crack and hushed whispers filled the room.

“I told you he said he was tired. I mean, he did prep for everyone by himself. I’m tired and all I had to do was drive down here,” said Josh quietly. “Let him sleep.”

I shut my eyes, feeling a blanket be pulled over top of me.

“Sleep good, sweetie,” I heard mom say softly. The door to the room shut a few seconds later and I glanced back at it, plopping back down. I was exhausted. That much was true. I’d been exhausted the past six months. First it was the accident but trying to keep up with different projects and the brewery and suddenly being a single dad was fucking hard.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone, typing into google.

“Ten easy steps to finding a nanny,” I mumbled to myself. “If it’s so easy why’s there’s ten fucking steps…”

I sighed and exited back out, scrolling down the page, finding a more promising one.

“I’m thinking of getting a nanny,” I said the next day while I finished a cup of coffee with my parents and siblings, getting a few stares. “Okay. I see y’all have opinions on that.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” said Jared, smiling as he walked in with some bags in his arms. “You could do with the help.”

“You’ve had nannies before. You have a nanny now,” I said, Jared setting the bags of gifts down by the tree.

“Yeah so I know how useful they can be,” said Jared, getting some quick hugs from everyone. “I need to steal him for like ten minutes. Be right back.”

“Coffee,” I whined, Jared grabbing my hand and dragging me after himself. He pulled me over to the front door, letting me slip into some sneakers before heading outside. “What?”

I was pulled into a bear crushing hug, waiting a beat before I returned it.

“How’d it go, Christmas eve and Christmas and all that,” asked Jared. 

“It was great.”

“We don’t lie to each other.” I rested my chin on Jared’s shoulder and closed my eyes.

“Hard,” I said quietly. “Dee’s parents are coming in today.”

“I know they are,” said Jared, rubbing my back.

“You’re supposed to be down at your parents place with your family.”

“I’m supposed to be with my brother. Don’t start your defensive shit. I thought you and your therapist were making some good progress on that.”

“I know,” I said. I hated that stupid lie I’d told. Hated every time someone brought it up. Especially hated when Jared did. 

A small piece of me wondered if Jared would leave me too if he ever found out. 

“Hey, hey,” said Jared, tugging me around the corner of the garage, holding me up when I started to cry. 

“Don’t tell them or anyone,” I said, wiping the tears away with the backs of my hands. Jared caught my arms, my bottom lip wobbling. “Please. They treat me...if they see me get upset…please.”

“I won’t tell,” he said, wiping off the rest of my face while I cleared my throat. 

“I good?” I asked, rubbing off my face. I blinked a few times, Jared nodding. He caught my shoulder, gnawing on his bottom lip. “Jared you promised.”

“I’m not gonna tell. I just hate that you’re afraid to let your family see you cry.”

“To be fair I hate to let anyone see me cry.”

“What makes me so special?”

“You’re you,” I said, a small smile on Jared’s face. “Our asses our stuck together forever whether we like it or not.”

“Oh I’m gonna annoy the shit out of you in the afterlife, don’t worry about that,” he chuckled. I nodded, glancing down. “I think the nanny idea is really good. You need help getting the kids to school and daycare and running errands. I mean your parents came up when you went out to LA for your suit being built but...you’ve got to be in Canada for The Boys in February. You’re gonna need help working full time again.”

“I know. I’m so tired all the time. I know that’s why I’m upset. I just need some sleep man.”

“How about tomorrow once everybody’s headed home, you guys come hang out at our place. We can help with the nanny stuff. We’ve been through it. We know the good agencies in town. Gen’s got a whole file on all that stuff.”

“I was thinking of a live-in nanny?” I said. “Is that weird? I feel weird enough having some stranger come in.”

“It’s not weird. I mean you got the guest suite near the garage. If anything you don’t have to stress so much. Someone’s right down the hall. It’s a great idea. I’m proud of you.” I raised an eyebrow, Jared rolling his eyes. “What, I can’t be proud of you?”

“Why? I have to hire a nanny because I can’t figure out how to do it alone when there’s only a gajillion other parents on the planet that don’t have a choice of-”

“You’ve been shitty at asking for help since I met you you know,” said Jared. I shrugged, Jared catching my arm. “I know this is the last thing in the world you want to do, admit you need help, but you’re the one that decided you need a nanny. No one talked you into that. You did that even though you don’t want to. That’s why I’m proud of you, jackass.”

“We were going to get one before…to help Dee out more. When I was away,” I said. I nodded, taking a deep breath. “Next year will be better. I’ll get back to acting, things’ll feel more normal.”

“Don’t go and turn into an optimist on me Jackles. I need my grumpy old man,” chuckled Jared.

“Old man my ass,” I said with a smirk. “You headed back?”

“Nope. Sadly your ass is stuck with me all day,” he said. I smiled, heading back around the front of the house with him. 

“Mind giving me some back up in there with all the nanny questions I’m about to get?”

“Duh,” he said. “But first let’s finish your coffee before you bite someone’s head off.”

It’d been three days and I had narrowed it down to three nanny agencies in town. I’d gotten about fifty applications to sort through for interviews, rubbing my hands over my face after reading through most of them.

“Dad! Can I have sugar cookies?” asked JJ, skipping into the office. I glanced at the clock on the wall, an hour past bedtime for all three of them. 

“Gettin’ kind of late kiddo. Why don’t you head up to bed and brush your teeth. I’ll be up to read in a minute, okay?” I said, forcing a smile. She stared me down, a look I recognized all too well. “JJ.”

“I know how to read,” she said with a huff.

“Well I guess you don’t need me for anything anymore huh?” I said without thinking, watching her face fall. “Honey-”

She took off running and I sighed as I sat back and stared up at the ceiling. I shook my head and got up, wandering upstairs, surprised to find the twins in bed asleep. JJ was in the middle of her bed, angrily holding her dog. She shot me a dirty look, a perfect match to my own.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“You put your brother and sister to bed for me?” I asked. 

“Yes,” she grit out. 

“You don’t have to do that, sweetie. That’s my job.”

“You have to do everything by yourself now. It’s not fair.” 

“No it’s not. You’re too young to learn that life isn’t fair, even if you do everything right.” She scooted over into my lap, burrowing herself into my arms. 

“We were good. Why didn’t Santa bring her back?” she asked. I tucked her head under my chin so she couldn’t look up, closing my eyes and scrunching up my face.

“Santa can do a lot. But he can’t do that. No one can,” I said. I stroked her hair, holding her tight. “It’s okay to miss mom still.”

“I know it is. I’m just scared.”

“Scared of what, munchkin.”

“I don’t want you to go.” I looked up, swallowing down the lump in my throat. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. I kissed the top of her head, wrinkling my nose. “How about we save that cookie for a snack tomorrow, okay? I promise we can spend the day playing. I just have to do a little more work tonight.”

“Okay,” she said. She didn’t move and I didn’t have the heart to do it myself. It was one of the rare moments when one of the kids crawled in my lap, crawled all over me playing and poking and kicking, diving into my bed, waking up to one or all three of them having stolen my covers in the night...I could forget for a few seconds. Things were okay.

A few seconds later though she moved and I was biting the inside of my cheek. I put on a smile, tucking her in and turning on her light in the corner before hitting off the overhead one and shutting the door. I went back to my office, staring at the screen. I reached a hand over to my phone on the desk but stopped myself. Jared had spent the whole night before with me.

“You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine,” I breathed out quietly, clicking through to the next nanny profile.

Y/N Y/L/N. 29 Years Old. Home Pair Consultant 3 years. Nanny Core 2 years. Nanny Core Consultant 3 years. Independent Contractor Nanny Services 3 years.

“Certified in CPR and first aid. Homeschool certified K through 2nd grade. You sound like a little over achiever, don’t you,” I mumbled, reading through the rest of the page. “Specializes infants to age ten. Okay what do your ex-employers have to say…”

I found similar comments to some of the previous women, all nice things, got along with kids great, very easy going, etc. But one made my eyes go wide and chuckle.

She didn’t sleep with my skank of a an ex-husband when he pursued her. She brought this news to my attention discretely and regularly took on additional time with the kids while I met with divorce lawyers. It was unfortunate that I could no longer afford to employ her on a single income but she truly cares about the family she works for. My daughters cried for a week when we had to end our services with her but I was very grateful she didn’t brush the incident under the rug.

“Yeah, I think you’re getting an interview for that alone,” I said with a tiny smile. “But what the fuck is a consultant…”

It took a few days but eventually I had the eight prospective nannies lined up for interviews on Saturday. So far all seven were very nice ladies but I just could not stand the thought of occupying the same room for more than an hour let alone have them live in the house. The issue must have been with me if none of them seemed like a good fit. I really didn’t want to be doing this and I must have been putting off some strange vibe. 

“Maybe I don’t need a nanny. Maybe...maybe I just don’t need a nanny. I can do this. I can do this on my own. If I just manage work around the kids schedule...and mom and dad come down and watch the kids while I’m up filming and if I fly back and forth every week and mid week...I can do this. I can do this. I don’t need a nanny. I got this. I so got this.”

I sighed when I recalled the same pep talk two weeks ago I’d given myself. The one that led to contemplating quitting acting that night and then proceeding to lay in bed crying half the night.

“Nope. Nope. We just have to calm down. Calm down. It’s not you. Just didn’t find the right one yet. That’s all,” I said to myself, breathing quietly. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, looking over at the coffee maker. “Oh coffee. At least I’ll always have you.”

The doorbell rang and I sighed. 

“Great. You’re early,” I groaned. I threw my head back and went to the front door, tearing it open. A woman stood there in a pair of dark jeans and sneakers, a plain light gray t-shirt on, hair pulled back in a ponytail, a few strands falling loose and framing her face.

Oh well she was definitely the cutest by and far.

I realized I was staring and blinked, rubbing my face.

“Hi. You must be from Nanny Core,” I said. She smiled and cocked her head.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N from Home Pair,” she said. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the side of the door, contemplating just slamming it right against it. 

“The last girl was from Nanny Core,” I said, opening my eyes, shaking my head. “I’m so sorry. Yes, Y/N. You’re the one that’s a consultant, not firmly associated with Home Pair, right?”

“Correct,” she said, stepping inside when I let her past. She looked around and smiled, seemingly used to a larger sort of home.

“May I ask what the distinction is?”

“Mostly it has to do with benefits,” she said. “Consultants pay out of pocket for their own or negotiate with their client for those to be covered.”

“Gotcha,” I said with a yawn. Great I looked like a fucking asshole. She looked ahead past the front hall towards the back of the house where the kitchen and family room was. I wiped a hand over my face, a pit already in my stomach, the poor girl already probably already waiting for the interview to end so she could leave. “I’m sorry. I must seem like an ass.”

“You seem tired is all Mr. Ackles. Not a crime,” she said with a smile. I wasn’t expecting such a genuine answer, not a bullshit I’ll pander to you cause I want this job, kind of answer. She was different than the other applicants for sure. Something warm and caring to her. I nodded and found myself smiling, probably the first genuine one I’d had in months.

“Mind if we do the interview in the kitchen over a cup of coffee?” I asked.

“Wherever you like, sir,” said Y/N. I started to head over to the table, pausing when she was trying to kick off her sneakers, one of them tied a bit too tightly to go off easily. She hopped once, nearly tripping and I looked away, chuckling quietly before she was by my side again. 

“Uh, for the record, call me Jensen. None of that sir stuff. They must teach that at nanny school or something huh?” I said. I led her over to the table, pulling out a chair. “I noticed all of you do it.”

“Something like that,” she said. She took a seat and I stifled another yawn, turning and blinking my eyes, heading to the coffee machine. I reached for the cap to put some grounds in, the thing falling and bouncing across the counter, straight into a dirty bowl in the sink. Naturally. I leaned over the counter, holding the edge tightly, squeezing my eyes shut. “How about I make the coffee and you take a seat, hm?”

“I’m okay,” I said, popping my head up and turning around with a smile. She looked me up and down, something gentle about her.

“Well making you coffee is probably going to come up in my job quite a bit so consider this part of the interview. It’s alright, really,” said Y/N. I stared at her, a little smile forming on her face. She wasn’t sucking up or trying to kiss my ass. There was a kindness to her that was incredibly attractive. Something in that little smile causing the tiniest little flutter. I blinked, slipping past her.

“Thank you,” I said. She started to make a cup, keeping my back to her. I put a hand on my chest, the flutter dissipating. After a moment I sat down, turning back just as the cup started to fill up. She watched it carefully but with an ease that said she was used to working with that kind of maker. Her hand slipped into her back pocket as she shifted on her feet, her ass rounding out amazingly in her jeans.

What the fuck was wrong with me? God she was only making a cup of coffee for fucks sake.

“I’m gonna ask you the same question I’ve asked all seven other women I’ve talked to today,” I said, forcing a smile when she picked up the mug. 

“Yes?”

“Why should I trust you to watch my children?”

“Honestly?” she asked. I nodded and she had that look on her face again. Soft. Slightly concerned. Still smiling. Beautiful. She set the cup down in front of me, a look to let it cool, the barest glimmer of a smirk when I reached for it anyways. There was another flutter in my chest and I took a long sip, burning the tip of my tongue. Part of me hated it, hated that it was possible to develop an attraction to anyone else. But that other part...it was so happy to be feeling something again, especially something good. “You shouldn’t.”

“I shouldn’t. That seems counterproductive.”

“I wouldn’t trust any stranger with my child. Trust is earned, not given. I think the real question is do you believe I’m capable of earning that trust with you and that’s something intrinsically only you know.”

“How so?”

“You meet a lot of different kinds of people with this job. My gut reaction to you is stressed, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived father who doesn’t really want any nanny at all but is forced into this situation. It’s going to be impossible for you to trust any of the seven woman from earlier or me off the bat, Jensen. You should be thinking of who will you come to trust. Who can you count on.”

“This is why my wife should have been the one doing this,” I said. I took a sip of coffee, biting back a small smile.

“We could always re-schedule for when she’s available.”

“Oh, we’d have to wait a very long time for that,” I chuckled. She looked lost and I realized it was time for that part of the interview again. I smiled, hoping she wouldn’t feel awkward. “She passed away unexpectedly six months ago. Car accident.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” said Y/N. I nodded, pursing my lips, catching her open her mouth after a beat. “My mom died kinda unexpectedly. I know it’s…harder.”

“You’re young. How old?” I asked. She shrugged, glancing down.

“Turned thirty today,” said Y/N. She was cute, still young but she was starting to click. Her kindness, that air about her. Maybe she could sense something going on but was too polite to ask. I let out a small laugh, shaking my head when she started to frown.

“Well Happy Birthday. I meant with your mother though. If that’s okay with you I mean.”

“It’s fine. I was sixteen,” she said. I dropped the smile and took a deep breath. No one deserved that. Especially not a kid. I was a grown man and I could barely handle a loss that close. But she seemed...okay. 

I just wanted to be okay again. It’d been too long though and I cleared my throat.

“That…fucking sucks doesn’t it?” I said.

“So does losing your wife,” said Y/N. I nodded and offered a soft smile.

“Yes it does. I’ve grieved. We all have. The kids are small. They’ll be okay.”

“Is dad okay?” she asked. Not really but that was far too much to put on anyone, especially a stranger.

“Yes. Ready to start moving on with life again,” I said, looking her up and down once. I hope she accepted the offer. She didn’t have to be perfect. She didn’t have the most certifications out of all of the applicants but she was the only one I genuinely enjoyed being around and that was the most important thing at the end of the day. “You’re kind. Not in a I’m trying to get this job kind of way. Just kind.”

“Well being cruel doesn’t sound like very much fun.”

“You’re not trying to impress me.”

“The first rule of nannying, Jensen. You think you’re interviewing us when in reality we’re interviewing you too.”

“How am I doing so far?” I asked, realizing after the words were out how flirty it sounded.

“Nice coffee choice,” she said with a smile. “You respect people. You’ll employ me but won’t treat me like I’m second class. You’re checking the boxes so far.”

“What if I don’t check all the boxes?” I asked.

“You don’t get to know the luxury of knowing the answer yet, Mr. Ackles,” said Y/N. “Interview isn’t over.” It wasn’t arrogance in her voice when she spoke though. Almost careful, protective.

“You got fucked over by somebody, didn’t you.”

“Also perceptive,” she said, rubbing her arm absentmindedly. “Like I said, I don’t tolerate being treated unkindly anymore. It’s why I left my last position.” 

“I have one more question. Would you treat my children like they’re your own?”

“Again, asking the wrong question,” she said. I sat back and crossed my arms, smirking at her. She gave it right back and I nodded.

“What exactly should I be asking?”

“Will you treat my children kindly and with respect but take charge when required?”

“What’s the difference?”

“One is me doing my job and the other is me doing yours.”

“How old did you say you were again?”

“Thirty today.”

“Right. Well I think I know where I stand. Do you have anything for me?” I asked. Hopefully she just accepted the pay offer without a fuss.

“Can you show me a picture of your kids?” she asked. I stared for a brief moment before reaching back and taking out my wallet. “You answered my question.”

“I didn’t show you anything yet.” 

“You’d be surprised how many fathers I’ve met don’t carry pictures of their children in their wallets. That one is just a me thing.”

“Your dad do that?” I asked, putting it back. She made a face, looking away.

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. She didn’t look back for a long moment. Dead mom at 16 and distant dad. It wasn’t a stretch to see how a girl like that wound up nannying straight out of high school. “I think I know where I stand as well.”

“I’d like to hire you,” I said. She smiled and I instantly relaxed, aside from a few flutters stirring again.

“Assuming our negotiations go well, I accept,” she said. We shook hands, hers small and soft, but the grip was solid. Kind but she’d kick your ass if she had to. I smiled, flutters going off stronger now that the nerves of finding someone were dwindling.

“I did come up with what I thought was fair for salary and benefits. Let me go grab the paperwork and hopefully settle on something,” I said. I went down to the office, grabbing the pile of offer papers off the desk and a notebook. I froze when a pleasant chill ran down my spine. 

I was happy because I’d found a good fit. I was excited over a lot of stress being gone. 

That was it. That was it.

I swallowed and went back out to the kitchen with a smile.

“If I’m missing anything let me know. I-”

“This is my weekly rate?” she asked when she reviewed her pay sheet. 

“Oh no. That’s your daily,” I said as I sat down. I swallowed when she put the paper down. “So I think that’s-”

“Jensen. I have to ask, things like insurance, are those coming out of your pocket or mine?”

“I’ll cover the expenses of your health, dental, all of that. You just choose and I’ll subsize it as part of your paycheck.” 

“This is for a live in position. Um…can you just…explain what makes up that daily rate number?” she asked. I cocked my head. I thought I’d spelled it out in the paperwork but I probably missed something.

“It’s simply your base pay. Obviously I pay for housing, utilities, gas obviously. I will get you a credit card to make purchases with for the kids and all of that so it’s simple to keep track of. You’re free to any of the food in the kitchen. I’m guessing the salary is the sticking point here.”

“Jensen,” she said, scratching her head. 

“I can go up fifty more dollars a day,” I blurted out. 

“Jensen. This is way, way too much money. Way too much,” she said. “The average rate around here is about twenty five an hour or two hundred a day. Jensen this is double that. Are you factoring in like time and a half for additional nights and weekends?”

“No. That’d be on top of that. I thought that was a fair value based on the fact you are going to be taking care of the most valuable things in my life. It’s gonna get taxed too so it’s not like you see all of it.”

“You’re sweet, Jensen,” she said, writing down a number at the top of the page. “The average in Austin is twenty five an hour. I would be very happy with that.”

“You have to literally be the first person in existence to negotiate their salary down from the offer,” I said, shaking my head. She was watching my kids. She deserved to be paid well for doing her job well.

“Are you rejecting my offer?” she asked. She stared and I took the paper and crossed her number out, jotting down thirty five and spinning it back. “Jensen.”

“Y/N,” I said, crossing my arms. Why couldn’t she just accept? She scowled and I huffed. Of course she had a stubborn side. “I came down. Now it’s your turn. Do you accept?”

“I will accept on the condition that you get four hours of what we’d call evening or weekend at the normal rate every week.”

“I can agree to that,” I said with a smile, writing that down, happy when she signed the page. “So medical plan. Single, plus one, family?”

“Single for all that.”

“I should mention that there is an in-law suite off to the other side of the garage where you’ll be staying. It’s just down the hall but it has its own small living area and kitchenette. There is a separate entrance to it. If you have guests over I just ask you keep them to your area of the house.”

“Absolutely. I don’t tend to bring people over much anyways while I’m on the job,” she said. “Alright. Everything looks good to me.”

“Awesome. Are you available to start Monday?”

“Sure,” said Y/N. “It gives me plenty of time to move in things tomorrow so I can jump into the kids routine first thing Monday.”

“Perfect. I’ll show you around. We can start with your side of the house.” 

I got up and Y/N followed me down to the guest suite in the front corner of the house. I opened the door for her, Y/N slipping inside and looking around. It wasn’t large but it was decent enough for one person.

“Like I said, I know it’s small. Please like, seriously watch TV out in the family room at night if you want or hang out wherever or the yard or pool. This is just your own space when you want to be away from us.” I said. I got a hum out of her and showed her the rest of the space, Y/N running her hand over the bedding. “If there’s something obvious I’m missing please let me know. A cleaning service does come by every two weeks on Tuesdays at around ten in the morning. They’ll do in here too. Otherwise you can keep after yourself. Cleaning stuff is in the laundry room. Oh yeah. Um, this is probably the last time I’ll like, ever come in here unless you need help moving things in since this will be your space.”

“Thanks. I don’t have too much. I do have one request before we sign all the paperwork.”

“What’s that?”

“I’d like to meet the kids if that’s alright. There’s not much point in hiring me if they hate me.”

“Fair point. We’ll get ‘em over here and then get you all squared away,” I said. “One second.”

“Of course,” she said. I stepped out of the suite and ducked into the garage, Jared answering on the second ring.

“Get through all the interviews?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I uh, hired the last girl. She’s great. Super qualified, really get along with her,” I said.

“Good man. I’m glad you found one. When’s she start?”

“Monday. But she wants to meet the kids, says if they don’t like her there’s not much point in her doing this.”

“Smart lady,” chuckled Jared. “I’ll drop ‘em off in ten. You can tell me how it went when I get there.”

“Sounds good,” I said. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, smiling for a moment when I stepped back in the hall and caught a whiff of her perfume. I went back to the doorway, Y/N fumbling with the curtain in there. “Uh so is there anything I can get you? For your room?”

“No, this is great. Can I check out the rest of the house?” asked Y/N. I hummed and followed her as she wandered around the downstairs a bit, poking her head in the office and home gym, spotting the laundry room and humming. 

“The playroom is downstairs, kids and me are up,” I said. “There’s a loft and little reading room up here too if you like that sort of thing.”

“Your home is beautiful,” she said, walking up the stairs, following me down the hall. She smiled when she entered, looking at the bookcase. “You read these.”

“Hm?”

“Some people buy pretty books for their home libraries. But these are all random, a little messy. You read,” she said. She stopped at the sliding door out to the small balcony, looking out at the yard. “Your house feels homey for how large it is.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Anywhere besides my room is free to use.”

“Of course. I take it you do your own laundry then?” she asked. 

“I’m a big boy. I can do my own laundry,” I said. She hummed, spinning back with a soft smile. “Um. Y/N. Chores and things like that...those are my responsibility, not yours. You’re here to-”

“I have to do some chores. It’s part of taking care of kids. My job is to take care of them but also make dad’s life easier. If I have to wash a bedspread or go get juice from the store or whatever it is, I’m gonna do it. I’ll hang back but I’ll also do my job.”

“Understood. You’ll let me know if I’m stepping into your territory?” I asked. She shook her head and hummed, walking past me and out to the hall, going down to the kids rooms. “I miss the joke?”

“I’ve worked for one other single parent before and three divorced ones. They couldn’t do jack shit for their kids. They barely knew them. I don’t think I’ll have that problem with you Jensen,” she said.

“To be honest I’d rather not be doing this,” I said. She didn’t seem disappointed in that strangely, more, sad almost. “But I’ll get the hang of it.”

“Yes you will,” she said, stopping outside Arrow’s room. “Youngest daughter?” she said, pointing inside.

“I’m sorry. We were looking for what is youngest daughter,” I said. She rolled her eyes and smiled, following me inside. “This is Arrow’s room. She and my son Zeppelin are twins. He’s across the hall.”

“I’m going to guess four years old?” she said.

“How’d you know?” She smirked and pointed at a birthday card sticking out from the bookcase, a large 4 on it. “You’re very observational.”

“I’ve nannined a lot of 4 year olds. Their rooms tend to be organized chaos,” she said. She looked out the window, back to the room.

“Can I ask why you do that?”

“Fires,” she said with a shrug. I blinked, not even considering that for a second. “Never hurts to be over prepared. I’ll learn the house soon. This is your son’s room?”

“Yeah,” I said, following her across the hall, Y/N popping out after a moment. “My oldest is next door. The kids have a bathroom they all share across.”

“What grade is she?” asked Y/N, stepping into the room. 

“First. Second. Second,” I said. “She’s seven.”

“What’s her name?”

“JJ. Well, Justice Jay, but she’s always JJ.” 

“What was your wife’s name, if that’s okay.”

“Danneel,” I said with a quick swallow. She smiled, laughing to herself.

“Should have known with names like that mom had to have something unique too,” she said. “So JJ is in school. What about the little ones? They have daycare?”

“Yeah they go to daycare normally five days a week but sometimes if it’s a quiet day I don’t have them go. Or one goes and I spend some time with the other. They already know how to do shit I didn’t learn until first grade,” I said.

“This one’s a reader too,” she said, picking up a book from the nightstand. “She’s ahead for her age.”

“That’s what the school tells me. If only she was as good at her math,” I said.

“It’ll click for her eventually. She’s smart. Probably a visual learner. I used to draw problems out myself,” she said, setting the book down. “Any after school activities? Sports? Clubs?”

“I have a calendar I’ll show you. It’s the only way I keep it straight,” I said. She went past and to the hall, glancing down the long stretch of hallway, a pair of double doors on the other end. “That’s my room.”

“Okay then,” she said. 

“I mean...you can look if you want.”

“I’m going to give you the same courtesy as well. I won’t be going there unless there’s an emergency.” I nodded, turning to head back downstairs, accidentally bumping her. 

“I’m so sorry,” I said, Y/N giggling and shaking her head at me.

“Dude. Relax. My job is to make you more relaxed so get on that, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“What am I gonna do with you Jensen,” she teased, heading back down the hall and her feet on the steps down after a moment. I glanced down and put a hand on my stomach, sliding it up to my chest. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I was nervous. Or excited. Or something. Happy to have found a nanny. That was all. That was really all.

“Y/N I’ll be down in a minute. The kids should be here soon,” I called, quickly ducking into my room and closing the door. I sat down against it, staring ahead blankly. “It’s a crush. S’just a crush.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing my palms against my head.

“Jensen,” said Jared and I jumped, the door pushing open. I looked up, Jared quickly shutting the door and kneeling down. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Where’s Y/N?” I asked, blinking a few times.

“Playing with the kids in the yard. They kinda love her already. What is going on?” he asked. I held up a hand before shrugging. “No no. You’re not getting off the hook that easy. What happened?”

“She made me coffee,” I said, Jared making a face. 

“I don’t understand what you’re-”

“Do you remember when you met Gen? You couldn’t get her out of your head for weeks. That feeling when...some part of you knows something you don’t?” I said. 

“Jay. What are-”

“Do you remember?”

“Of course I do. Why?”

“I just had it for the second time in my life,” I said. Jared sat down on his bottom, crossing his legs. “I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Y/N?” he asked. I nodded, Jared sliding over next to me. “I mean she’s pretty. She’s beautiful. You might just have a crush. I mean you don’t go anywhere anymore except the store or work or doctors appointments. Maybe it’s just cause she’s new...and you know the difference between a crush and something else. You’re sure?”

“Not to be a complete fucking sap but I only ever felt like this once in my life and that was after that first real conversation with Dee I had when we carpooled. It took me a week to figure out what it was but I knew and it’s that same…” I said. Jared nodded, throwing his arm over my shoulders. “I barely know the girl. It’s a crush. It’s a crush. That’s it. That’s all it is. That is all that it is.”

“Not to be a complete fucking sap myself but when you know dude you fucking know. You’ve been through it once and you know what it feels like. Maybe...maybe it is just a crush. But maybe she’s the one that’s gonna get you to be fucking happy again. Maybe get you back out there at least. Maybe she’s just a jumpstart huh? Not saying you’re gonna marry the girl or she’s your soulmate but maybe she’s what you need right now, right?”

“Jared. I was never going to date again. Ever. Pretty women...I didn’t care about them. I don’t think I’ve even gotten off since the accident. I just wanted to be a good father and be good at my job and that was all that was left for me,” I said. Jared sat up and shook his head but I shook mine right back. “I know that’s not what I told you but you just wouldn’t shut the fuck up about that shit so I told you what you wanted to hear.”

“Ignoring that fucked up shit, which we’re gonna fucking talking about,” he said as I rolled my eyes, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I swore off women forever and now my stomach is doing flips like it’s my first middle school dance but it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“I talked to her for half an hour. That’s the best fucking half hour of my life these past six months. Easily. I don’t feel like shit around her and right now, I don’t feel like shit and I forgot how fucking good it feels to not feel like shit. Do you understand?” I asked. Jared nodded, pulling me into a hug. “What do I do?”

“Not feel like shit,” he said. I groaned and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “Jared.”

“If she makes you feel good and happy when you actively were against those things, what do you think she’ll be able to do for you if you give her a real chance?”

“I’m her boss. And Dee-”

“Dee doesn’t want you to spend the rest of your life being a good father and good at your job and feeling like shit and nothing else. She wants you to fall in love again and fall as hard as the first time.”

“It’s just a stupid crush,” I said. I stood up, walking across the room, putting my back to him. Only a second passed before I felt him behind me, a hand on top of my head.

“Maybe it’s a stupid crush. Maybe she is the start of your life again too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, his hand sliding down to my back.

“Remember the first time I helped you shower after the accident?” he said, curling his fingers around my waist. “Bit my fucking head off the entire time while I helped you stand up.”

“Yes I remember,” I grumbled. I crossed my arms, still not turning around. 

“That was the first day I saw you after the accident that you weren’t loaded up on pain killers and you were different. You’ve been different.”

“Gee golly Jared. I wonder why?”

“Past six months...you’re still that guy in the shower yelling at me that he doesn’t need help.”

“Just because I don’t want to date again doesn’t mean I’m fucked up. I’m forty two with three little kids. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to fall in love again,” I snapped, spinning around. He nodded, smiling to himself. “What.”

“You make it sound like you’re gonna have a choice in whether you fall in love when you meet the right person.”

“I’m not gonna fucking fall in love with some girl I just met. There’s a million reasons why it won’t happen.”

“You’re not gonna have a fucking choice.”

“It’s all my choice,” I grit out. Jared shook his head and I clenched my fists.

“I’ve known you over sixteen years. Better than any other human being. I haven’t seen a real smile on your face in over half a year. Except when I came in here and you were sitting there with the stupidest grin on your face talking about Y/N. It works out, it doesn’t work out. Either way, you’re along for the fucking ride so you might as well enjoy it.”

I swallowed, glancing down.

“Have you ever lied to me in the past six months about how you’re doing? How’re you feeling? Anything?” asked Jared. The therapist lie shot to the front of my mind, logic coming in and screaming shut up, more logic coming in to say it’s Jared, it’s okay. “I’m guessing by the mental gymnastics you look like you’re going through, that’s a yes.”

“Jared-”

“I could have done a lot more to help you. I let you fester on your own and-”

“I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m an adult.” I frowned and walked in front of him, Jared pursing his lips. “Leave.”

“Jensen.”

“Leave.”

“No.” He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I get to take care of you because I love you. If you don’t like that well tough shit.”

“Get the fuck out of my house and stay out,” I growled. Jared looked down, shaking his head and walking away. He was out of the room when my skin prickled, the happy flutter feelings gone, a pit opening up instead. “Jared. Jared.”

I went to the door, catching him halfway down the hall. 

“Jared.”

“I’m going.” He turned the corner, beanie out of view. Fuck. I ducked back in the room, sitting on the bed, toes curling into the fabric. My head was face down in my knees when the door opened softly. My eyes darted over, Jared walking back inside, pulling his beanie down over my head. “I wasn’t going anywhere. Just had to see if you’d ask for help.”

“I’m not very good at it. Obviously,” I said. 

“No. No you are not. But what’s in the past, we can’t change it. Just what’s in front. And for you that is the cute nanny that you may or may not end up falling in love with.”

“Jared I can’t love her.”

“Why not?”

“I love Dee. She was it.”

“I’m not saying to stop loving Dee. Shit she’d never want you to do that. But honestly, does she want you to be like this for the rest of your life? Or does she want you to laugh and smile and find a best friend again?”

“I know she wants me to be happy. I know what she wants. You don’t get it.”

“Then help me get it.”

“Say I fell in love again. Say I managed to find the right person and I fell in love. I gave her everything I have left and I’m happy. Then she gets in an accident one day or she has an aneurysm one day or she gets mugged one day or whatever it is. Say she doesn’t come home one day. I can’t put myself through that again. I just can’t. It would destroy me. I can’t do that again.”

“I won’t tell you what to do, Jay. I’d never say that. But you have a choice to make then from what I’m hearing you say.”

“What?”

“Stay single, be afraid of being hurt again and get by. Or risk being hurt again and maybe you get hurt, maybe you don’t, but you’ll be out there living again. Dude if you never want to date again that is completely your choice. But don’t not date because you’re afraid. It’s like I said before, like you were saying, if you find that girl, the right girl, you won’t have a choice at all.”

“She’s my employee,” I said, shifting my legs, sitting cross legged. “Not to mention I don’t even know if she’s single. You saw her. No way is a beautiful woman like that on her own. Then there’s the age difference and the kids thing and the whole I’m an actor thing and-”

“Didn’t say to propose to her. Just...put out some feelers. Maybe if the topic comes up and she’s single, mention you got a friend that’s like you, see if there’s interest.”

“God I hope she’s single,” I said. He smirked, bumping my shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Tell me about her,” he said.

“I don’t know a whole lot,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. 

“But you like her.” I nodded, getting another bump. “I think you’re gonna marry that girl.”

“What?” I laughed. “We don’t even know if she’s single!”

“Nah, you’re gonna marry her. I got a feeling.”

“Oh I see. A feeling.” 

“I’ve known you over sixteen years and haven’t been able to get through that thick head. She’s known you half an hour and she got in without even trying. I wonder where I got that idea from,” he said. I lifted my head, Jared’s face relaxed. A lump formed in my throat and he reached out, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Jensen. I heard it in your voice when you called me just now. Something’s different.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship,” I said. “I honestly don’t.”

“Maybe she’ll be the one to make you change your mind on that.”

“She’s not even interested in me. I’m a widow with 3 small kids. I’m away from home a lot. I’m the worst person in the world to date.”

“Maybe. But you’re a pretty good person to love and be loved by. Might just be enough, even for a grumpy Ackles.”

“She did make me coffee,” I said quietly, lip twitching up.

“Coffee?”

“I know. But it’s...I don’t know. Something...changed. She was pretty when I opened the door but when she made me coffee, that’s when I noticed that feeling.”

“Maybe she’ll make you coffee again,” he said, smirking as he stood up. “Outside.”

“Hm?”

“Outside with the cute nanny. Let’s go,” he said, dragging me off the bed to my feet. He pulled off the beanie and pushed me out of the room, being a little shit and trying to pick me up. I kicked my feet up and we both went backwards, Jared grinning and giving me that look.

“Oh you’re on little shit,” I said, flipping my leg around, Jared yelping as he got pulled down to the side. I jumped on top of him, Jared rolling me back. A spark of pain shot down my hip, Jared instantly up and off. “I’m alright.”

“You stretching it out still like you’re supposed to?” he asked. I rolled my eyes and he helped me to my feet, waiting as I did a few wide circles with my leg. “Do your at home physical therapy ya idiot.”

“I”m perfectly fine. Just save the wrestling for the rug next time,” I said. “You want to say hey to Y/N?”

“No that’s cool. I’m sure I’ll properly meet her when you’re ready for me too,” he said. “Oh and Arrow and Zeppelin ate way too much candy at my house so have fun with that.”

“I hate you.” He grinned and let out a chuckle. “Hopefully they burn off some running around out there at least.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” he said. “Do you want to grab a drink later? Maybe hit up the brewery?”

“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my arm for a moment. 

“Do you want to be on your own tonight?” I blinked, Jared shrugging. “Might as well be point blank about it. Since you’re never lying to me again, right?”

“Let me call up the neighbors, see if the girl next door can watch the kids tonight. I wouldn’t mind a little fun,” I said. 

“Shoot me a text and I’ll swing by around eight,” he said.

“Jared.” He stopped turning to leave and I sighed. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m...we rarely fight. Rarely. But this is kinda big and I want to tell you the truth but I’m scared if I do you’ll walk out that door and never look back.”

“We can fight, Jensen. I’m sure we’ll have more someday. We can get pissed as hell at each other. But your ass is stuck with me forever and I’m stuck with yours. I know you and I love you and you’re my big brother. We’re not supposed to agree all the time. We’re gonna hurt each other sometimes. That’s just part of being a family though. I’ll never walk out on you just like I know you won’t do that to me. It’s different right now. I know. I don’t want this to stress you out. You got enough of that going on. Tell me when you’re ready okay?”

“I never saw a therapist. I lied to get everyone off my back when I was still...like this after a few months. I thought I could handle it on my own. I’m sorry for lying, especially to you.” Jared nodded, biting his bottom lip for a moment. “You’re angry.”

“Angry at myself, not you. I know what it’s like to feel alone, that alone. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m sorry you’ve felt that alone Jensen. I didn’t realize you felt that badly and I should have. That’s why I’m upset. Not at you.”

“You’ve grown up more,” I said quietly.

“If we can get back to me being the one freaking out over shit and you being the adult I’d prefer that,” he chuckled. He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled. “I got your back. Always.”

“I don’t want to go to one.”

“You’re a big boy. You can decide on your own. Just...call me when you feel shitty next time?”

“I will. I promise.”

“Or to talk about Y/N,” he teased. I rolled my eyes, Jared giving me a quick hug. 

“Dick.”

“But I’m your dick. I’ll see you tonight.”

“See ya.”

______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[deliciousangelfestival]

Nothing Has Changed - 8

Summary: Returning home for peace, you're faced with your tormentor, Bucky Barnes, who is now involved in your family's business.

Character: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warning: Angst, Tragedy.

Nothing Has Changed - Series Masterlist

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Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 💖💖💖

Bucky read the report you made. His expression was unreadable. He closed the book and said, “Thank you. I’m satisfied with your work.” He said it as if he finally got the answer he wanted. He added, “I’ve got all I need.”

His eyes looked at the ground as if he were deep in thought. Then he returned to his cheerful demeanor and looked at his watch. “Let’s go home, it’s already late. Tom has called many times because he can’t get through to you.”

After he said that, you quickly grabbed your phone and saw the notifications of 20 missed calls from your dad. You scratched your head, realizing this was the consequence of being too focused on work, forgetting to eat or sleep.

As you headed back to your car, Natasha blocked your way. “Stop what you’re doing.”

“Why?” you asked, crossing your arms. “Why should I listen to you?”

Natasha’s face hardened. “This isn’t your business.”

You couldn’t believe her audacity. Did her ears clog with earwax when Bucky told everyone he hired you? Of course, it was your business since you were hired as an auditor in this hotel. You ignored her, got into your car, and left.

Watching the sports car get farther away, Natasha clenched her fists. She felt terrible, especially knowing that you were more successful than her. The sports car, the designer clothes, and the expensive bag you carried—gosh, she hated it.

She felt her phone vibrate. She saw the caller ID and hesitated to answer. When she finally did, her voice trembled. “I think…” She took a deep breath and released it. “Bucky has found out.”

👓

The next day, you woke up and went to Bronze Lodge again. This time, you were grateful that Natasha wasn't there. Such a great way to start your day.

As you headed to your office to continue your work, you heard someone call your name. You turned around and saw a man waving at you excitedly. He wore a blue shirt, light brown pants, and a tie. He came closer and pointed at himself with a happy smile. “Do you remember me?”

“Jake Jensen,” you nodded.

“I heard a rumor that you’re back. I thought it was a lie. Glad to see you, old friend. Do you want to grab lunch together later?” Jake asked.

You politely declined, “I’ll have to say no. I have to fix the lousy job of the previous auditor.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, the previous one didn’t work at all. Next time then,” Jake said before leaving.

You smiled awkwardly and quickly entered your office, closing the door behind you. You peeked through the blinds, making sure Jake was gone. With a sigh of relief, you sat down at your desk.

You declined his lunch invitation because you made boundaries after what he did to you.

You and Jake were friends in high school, but "friends" didn’t fit. He was more of a classmate with whom you shared some things in common—both of you were nerds and outcasts.

But the difference between you and him was that you didn’t mind being a loner. Jake, however, desperately wanted to join Bucky’s group, where the popular kids gathered. He thought there was a chance because a guy like Steve was in that group.

What makes Steve different is that he and Bucky are childhood friends. And Steve's mom used to be Bucky's nanny.

Jake tried so hard to be cool but always failed. You wanted to feel bad for him, but you couldn’t because of what he did that made Natasha and her group act like jerks toward you.

One day, when you entered the classroom, Natasha and her minions confronted you, accusing you of being a snitch. You didn’t understand what they were talking about until your teacher said, “I’m glad you saw what they did on the last exam. I’m surprised Natasha and her friends could give answers like that.”

Then it hit you. No wonder Natasha was mad at you; you were seated next to her. But you knew you didn’t tell your teacher about her cheating. You knew who the real snitch was.

It was Jake.

He sat at the back, where he could see everything. He was the one who told the teacher. He then told Natasha’s friend that you had informed the teacher, and her friend told Natasha. Jake did it so Natasha would feel like she owed him and invite him into the group. But she didn’t, and Jake’s plan was futile.

Since then, you have never trusted him. Even now.

🎩

You continued working until you heard a knock on the door. Thinking it must be Bucky, you called out, “Enter,” without even bothering to lift your head. But it wasn’t him.

“I see that you’re busy,” a voice said.

You looked up and were shocked to see the mayor of the town, Mayor Martin Reynolds, standing before you.

“Good morning, sir,” you greeted him, trying to mask your surprise.

“I won’t bother you for too long. I just want to tell you something,” Mayor Martin said.

“Yes?” you replied, feeling a sense of unease.

He rested his hand on your table, crumpling some of your papers in the process. The tension in the room grew as he leaned closer and said, “Stop what you’re doing and leave everything.” Then, without another word, he left.

You were stunned. What’s going on? Why were Natasha and the mayor of the town both telling you to stop?

Did both of them know about the money embezzlement?

🍽️

Because of what Mayor Martin said to you, you lost your focus. Bucky didn’t come to visit you either, so you decided to go home early after work.

You headed to a diner for dinner. It was crowded, and the only empty seat was at the counter. You ordered some food and waited.

A moment later, another customer sat beside you. It was Steve.

You ignored him and looked at your phone.

“I’ve talked to my dad, and I’ve sent an application to art school,” Steve said.

“Hmmm…” you replied noncommittally.

Steve continued, “I hope I can leave this town just like you. This town is too greedy.”

‘Greedy?’ That word caught your attention. You turned to him, surprising him slightly that you finally acknowledged him. “What do you mean by greedy?” you asked, curiosity piqued.

Steve was slightly surprised you wanted to talk to him; he answered, “This town’s full of greedy people. It’s all power and money. I need to get out.”

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[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 3

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: None really. Angst. Dean being a bit of an asshole. A brief, near sexual encounter. Smidge of fluff.

Word Count: 3,654

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: So, here I am with chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for all the very kind comments that this series has received so far. You're all fabulous.

Series Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

The next morning Dean was sitting at the table in his tent, listening to the camp waking up around him, when his tent flap opened and Cas strolled in. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, we gotta put up a piece of wood on the tent poles or something so people can knock.” He said in a surly and growly, early morning voice. When Cas didn’t respond, he challenged him with an even surlier tone. “What? Why are you here?”

Cas walked further into the tent. “I saw you gave Y/N back her daughter.” Dean raised his hand and then dropped it, conceding the point. “And,” Cas continued, raising his hand in the air and waving it slightly, “no more manacles.”

Dean spread his arms wide. “These are all things I already know, Cas; why are you telling me this?”

Cas shrugged slightly. “So, can I assume this means you no longer think she’s going to turn into a monster at any minute?”

Dean blew out a puff of air. “It means, she’s been here a week, and hasn’t turned yet. And since that isn’t really something that happens to people who get bit, I think I can be reasonably certain she won’t turn, randomly, out of the blue one day. And I gave her back her kid so she can look after her, and I can get Risa back as a soldier instead of a nanny.”

Cas wore a very enthusiastic expression as he moved closer. “Come on, even you have to admit that this is exciting.”

Dean arched a brow. “Exciting?”

Cas’ voice became awestruck. “Dean, this is the most hopeful sign we’ve had in…years!”

“Aw, don’t come at me with that hopeful bullshit!” Dean’s scowl and fierce countenance was immediate and slightly intimidating, even to the angel. 

“Hope is nothing but a fucking lie, okay? We know it. We HOPED we could stop Lilith breaking seals and we didn’t, we HOPED we could stop the apocalypse, but we failed at that too. We HOPED we could save everyone, and well, we’re doing a pretty piss poor job of that, aren’t we? Every single time we go out on a raid, I hope we come back with the same number of people we left with, but it doesn’t happen very often, does it? We hoped -” 

Dean cut himself short and swallowed hard, lowering his voice. “We hoped that Sam would be strong enough to say no, but…he wasn’t. I hoped I could save him. And-” He cut himself off again and rubbed a hand hard across his face. 

“So just don’t come at me with ‘hopeful’.” Dean said, sneering the word.

He tapped his fingers against his chest. “Cause I gotta live in the reality of this situation. And look, if you wanna hide away from that reality, you wanna get blitzed and bombed every day, and pretend like you’re some kind of sexual guru, fuck around with dozens of girls, I don’t really give a shit. Okay? Do it. But I,” he banged his chest with his whole fist this time, “I have to live in the reality of our lives.”

Dean stood up and stepped closer to Cas, swinging his arm out sideways. “And the reality is I have no fucking clue why that woman hasn’t turned.” He shrugged dismissively. “Maybe the person who bit her wasn’t fully turned themselves, or maybe they didn’t fully break the skin so it didn’t take completely. Who knows. All I know is that she’s probably not gonna turn and so now we’ve got one more mouth to feed. Two, actually.” He said holding up two fingers. “And two more people draining our resources.”

He stepped back and turned away, giving Cas his profile. “That’s the reality. So you wanna join me in it, great. If not,” He turned his head to look at him, lifting his hand towards the entrance, “there’s the door. Or, you know, the tent flap.”

He dropped down onto the chair he’d vacated and rubbed a hand across his lips. He looked up when Cas spoke softly. 

“I don’t wanna live in this reality, Dean. I just can’t anymore. So I choose hope, I choose to be hopeful that maybe she marks a change, maybe things can be different. I’m telling you, this reality isn’t the only option.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s my only option. I learned a long time ago, and you should’ve too - hope is dangerous. Reality can’t hurt you like hope can.”

Cas’ expression was discouraged and disappointed as he nodded, looking away from Dean. He said nothing more as he turned and walked away.

***

A little while after Cas left, Dean moved out to his campfire and cooked and ate his ration of eggs and potatoes. As he drank his coffee, he was actively trying to push the argument with Cas out of his head. He had a camp to lead, he didn't need this crap clouding his judgment.

It was ridiculous to think the woman represented some kind of new hope for mankind. He rolled his eyes at the very notion.

Still, he found himself calling out to Johnston as the soldier walked by. The man stopped abruptly and turned fearful eyes on Dean. It drove Dean a little crazy that after more than two years of Johnston serving the camp, of protecting it and helping to run the day-to-day work and activities there, he still seemed petrified of Dean. 

I can't possibly be that scary, Dean thought with a deep scowl. Not like I've had him flogged for looking at me wrong or something.

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the fear radiating from the other man.

“You settled Y/N and her daughter?” He asked.

Johnston's blue eyes were slightly bulging and his prominent Adam's apple moved up and down as he swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

Dean waited a minute for him to elaborate before prodding him gruffly. “And?”

The other man seemed at a loss and Dean snapped his fingers impatiently. “And where did you put them?”

Understanding finally lit in Johnston's eyes and he began nodding. “Oh, yes sir. I put them in the southwest corner. Fourth row, the tent on the end.” He seemed proud to get that much out. But then he raised a finger. “Oh, the tent is red.”

Dean nodded and waved at him. “As you were.” 

Johnston saluted (even though Dean had told him a million times not to) and hurried on. Dean sighed deeply and without thinking about it too much, he headed in the direction of the red tent. 

When he got there he shouted out a hello, feeling slightly foolish and vowing then and there to make it a project to put some kind of wood near tents’ openings so people could knock.

The flap opened and Y/N's face lit up with a beaming smile when she saw him. “Hi!” 

Not knowing what to do with her enthusiasm, he just nodded. There was a slightly awkward moment and then Emma, her big blue eyes staring up at Dean, poked her head out from behind her mom, keeping her arms tightly wrapped around her hips and leaning her head into her side.

Y/N lifted her arm a little so Emma could shuffle out from behind her a bit more. She combed down Emma's slightly flyaway curls with her fingers and then settled her hand on the little girl's thin shoulders.

She gestured to Dean. “Say hi to Mr. Winchester.”

The little one just pressed closer and looked away from Dean to bury her face in her mother's side.

Y/N gave him a slightly chagrined look. “She isn't usually this shy.” She said by way of apology. 

But Dean simply shook his head. Unlike Johnston, he understood all too well why this blue-eyed moppet was scared of him. She'd watched him nearly end her mother's life - not something she was ever likely to forget.

Dean hated that that realization came with a trace of guilt. Feeling very annoyed with himself, he straightened up and nodded curtly.

“Good.” He said succinctly, responding to nothing. “I just wanted to make sure you were settled properly.”

He turned in an abrupt about face and started walking away. 

“Dean, wait!” Y/N called out to him. He turned back to see her wave Emma back into the tent and head towards him. When she reached him she wore her bright smile again, and he frowned deeper as a result.

“I wanted to ask you about something.”

Dean said nothing, waiting for her to continue. She seemed to be a little nervous, fiddling with her hair. She finally clasped her hands in front of her and continued. 

“So, I was talking to Eric?” She said as though it was a question. Dean did give her a puzzled look.

“Eric?” He asked.

Y/N had opened her mouth to continue talking, but then closed it and gave her head a shake, pointing to the side at nothing in particular. 

“Eric Johnston? The…soldier that brought us to this tent and helped us set it up.”

Dean nodded in recognition. Yes, he remembered now, that was his first name. He never used it. “Right.” He waved her on. 

“And I was asking about school for Emma, but he said there isn't one.”

Dean shook his head. “No, the parents, guardians, they look after that themselves.”

Y/N nodded. “Yes, but I was thinking…well, I was a third grade teacher in the…before.” She thumbed behind her as though their former, normal lives were just right behind them, around the corner, instead of existing eons ago.

She shrugged. “So, I was thinking that maybe I could start a kind of school for the kids here. Eric figured there were about 35 or 40 of them. So I thought we could hold lessons somewhere outside most days, but if the weather's bad, maybe we could use the main cabin.”

Dean was scowling harder now, so she rushed on. “It would only be for a few hours a day. Wouldn't be anything spectacular, but it could help them with reading and math, and just some basics. Keep the kids' minds occupied and give their parents a couple of hours on their own.”

She shrugged. “It's nothing much, but it might help people feel a little more hopeful about the future.” She finished with another bright smile.

Dean felt his ire rise with that word again - hopeful. This woman was going to upset everything, tip the precarious balance of the camp on its head. 

He shook his head angrily. “We don't do shit like that. This isn't a fucking gated community, okay? These are survivors who get by together. That's it.”

Y/N's eyes were so earnest it almost hurt to look at her. “But, don't you see, it could be a community. Not gated, but open. We could do more for each other than just survive.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, if you're unhappy with being here, we can happily help you on your way.”

Y/N raised her hands. “No, of course not, that's not what-”

Dean cut her off with a cold, hard voice. “And you can't teach kids like this.” He waved a hand towards the red rings encircling her irises. “You'd scare the shit outta them. Take one look at you and freak out, thinking you're gonna turn into a monster any minute.”

That pulled Y/N up short and Dean could see by her slight flinch that his words had hit home. She was quiet a minute and her smile was dimmed as she nodded.

“Right. That's…no, you're right.” She gave an imitation of a chuckle. “There aren't many mirrors around, so I…sometimes I forget about…” she gestured to her eyes.

She shook her head. “I was just trying to find a way to be helpful, you know.” She shrugged. “But yeah…” She trailed off and Dean felt a sick gnawing sensation in his stomach as she gave a final dull smile. 

“Okay, well thanks.” She said as she turned away. Though what she could have possibly been thanking him for, he had no idea.

He thought about Cas’ disappointed expression, and Y/N's bent smile and he gritted his teeth. This morning was not going well for him.

The day didn’t get much better from there. He spent most of it planning their next raid for canned goods. They were running low, and it was September already. Over the next couple of months they’d have to make sure they had whatever they needed for the winter. Once the snow hit, the winter roads were sometimes impassable for weeks at a time. 

They were having to go further and further out from the camp to find supplies. The area was becoming picked clean. There were four or five other, smaller, groups of survivors within about a hundred square miles of their camp. For the most part they all rubbed along together alright, pretty much just leaving a big buffer of space between the camps, and leaving each other alone.

However, Dean was starting to worry about what would happen now that resources and supplies around them were starting to run out. In this last year, they’d started having to drive hours and hours away from camp to find un-ransacked grocery stores and restaurants in the abandoned cities. They could manage it because of their size, but some of the smaller groups had very few working vehicles, making it harder for them to travel. Dean worried what would happen when they got desperate. 

He wanted to be ready for winter.

So, he tried to spend the day planning the best route to hit as many cities as they could without hitting too many known Croat hives, or cleaned out cities. But he kept getting interrupted by his soldiers. The concerns of the camp were unending, and sometimes felt completely overwhelming. 

The morning kept being interrupted by issues and grievances his soldiers brought him from some of the camp inhabitants. He tried to put out as many fires as he could, while continuing to plan the raid.

Then he ended up spending far too much of the afternoon talking about drainage and irrigation with the young guy who used to be an engineering student, and an old farmer who’d spent his whole life in the fields. The two very different men were teaming up to try and see about making bigger winter crop plots this year. They’d grown some winter vegetables last fall and winter, and even that small amount of fresh food had made a big difference in the health of the campers. So this year they were hoping for more. 

Finally the men went off to plan some more and Dean folded up his maps. He hadn’t made much headway into the raid route, but the light was getting low; he’d have to come back to it. He fried up some spam and a few of the cooked, frozen potatoes they’d put up in the spring and sat beside his fire for a while before tossing water on it and going inside his tent. He lit a lantern and started to try and look at the maps again, but he was interrupted by Risa.

Dean lifted his chin towards her by way of greeting. She came forward and dropped a small piece of machinery on his table. “Here’s the piston for that Ford we towed back last week.” She said, referring to the truck they’d found abandoned on the side of the road with no owners in sight. “Should work.”

Dean nodded. “Great.”

Risa lingered a moment and then walked closer to him. “How are you?”

Dean shrugged. “Fine.”

She moved forward to stand between his legs and then reached out to run her hands over his cheeks and down his neck. She bent over and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.

“I miss you.” She said, her voice softer and more intimate than it ever was when they were soldier and commander. “You haven’t been to see me in weeks.”

“Sorry.” Dean said gruffly and then let her kiss him again, kissing her back for a moment before pulling away. 

Not willing to give up, Risa straddled his outstretched thighs and reached for his zipper. “It’s okay, I bet I can find ways to entice you back.” She said, dark brown eyes flashing with heat.

But Dean grabbed her hands and pulled them away. He kissed her briefly to try and ease the sting of his rejection. “Sorry, not tonight.” He nodded towards the maps on his table. “I’ve got shit I gotta finish.”

Risa bit into her lip, looking down at their hands entwined in his lap, and then nodding before she stood up. She lifted her mouth in a smile. “Yeah, sure. ‘Kay.” She nodded again and pointed to the piston as she left. “Let me know if that works.”

Dean sighed as his tent flap fell back into place. And that was the third person he’d disappointed today. Without his permission Y/N’s face floated into his mind. Despite what he’d said to her, he couldn’t deny how beautiful that face actually was. The red pigment in her eyes made no difference to that beauty.

He couldn’t erase the image of her crestfallen expression when he told her she’d scare the kids. That was complete bullshit and he knew it. Five seconds in her shiny presence and the kids would be eating out of her hand.

He growled slightly as he could feel himself caving. But would it really be so bad to let her teach the kids somewhere? They’d have to stay out of the way, and she’d have to keep them all quiet when they were together in a mob. But it might actually free their parents up for more of the endless tasks it took to maintain the camp.

If he let her do it, he’d have to make sure she knew he was only saying yes so that they could have the kids out of the way for a while. This wasn’t some hopeful mission for the future. It was just a practical solution for improving the camp.

He nodded. Yeah, I'll tell her tomorrow. 

But even as he though it, he got up and walked out of his tent, moving towards the southwest corner of the camp. Within a couple minutes he was standing in front of the red tent and again found himself clearing his throat and embarrassingly calling out a hello, like he was the Avon lady.

Y/N poked her head out of the tent and smiled. But she lowered her eyes a little and wouldn’t look directly at him. He wanted to punch himself.

“Hi.” She said softly, and then stepped out of the tent into the cool, late evening breeze. She waved towards the tent. “Emma’s sleeping.”

He nodded. She rubbed her arms and he frowned. “Didn’t they give you a jacket?” Then he noticed she was still wearing the grubby clothes she’d been wearing when she came. “And clean clothes?”

Y/N nodded and even in the dusky twilight Dean could see her blush. “Yes, but I realized…I’m all dirty.” She shrugged. “Nothing but basin baths for weeks. I’d like to get cleaner before I put on the clean clothes. One of your soldiers said there was a place where people went to bathe nearby. But he didn’t have time to take me.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, there’s a river about four miles south of camp. It does the trick. I’ll take you tomorrow.” 

He scowled; he didn’t know where that offer had come from. He could have had one of his soldiers, or any other camper really, take her out to the river. But he didn’t rescind the offer and Y/N nodded happily.

“That would be wonderful.” She said rapturously. 

Dean nodded curtly again. “Yeah. And uh…you can do the school.” Y/N looked directly at him now and her face was surprised, but clearly thrilled. 

“Really?” 

He nodded and scowled. “Yeah, the kids'll get over it." He said with a nod to her red eyes. "But just make sure you all stay out of the way of the work in the camp. And let the parents know we’ll have some work for them during the hours their kids are gone. We can use the extra hands.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be happy to help out where they can.”

Impulsively it seemed, she threw her arms around him, squeezing his arms tight to his sides as she hugged him. Shock coursed through him and he didn’t know how to move. Thankfully it was a brief hug and she was soon pulling away.

“Thank you so much, Dean. I’m so excited. I think it’s going to make a real difference. Just wait.”

As she bid him goodnight and bounced back into her tent, he shook his head, frowning deeply. 

Fuck, he thought, everything is too different already.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @deangirl96

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

[winchesterwild78]

The Tutor part 4

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Warnings: mention of cheating, mention of phone sex, separation, fluff

A/N: Just a quick idea that popped in my head. A short series, maybe 2 or 3 chapters. I don’t know yet. No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction. Jensen has children in this, but I do not use their real names. 

Reader is a teacher and is asked to tutor Jensen’s child. Things develop between Jensen and the reader. I do not condone cheating, again, this is a work of fiction.

This chapter got a little long. Sorry not sorry. 😀 Please overlook any errors. I wrote this fast and edited it fast. 

Minors DNI 18+

Coming out of your room you were still smiling from the video call and the post Jensen made. You were completely in love with him. There was a glaring problem, you both were married to other people. You made the move to leave your husband, but he was still living with his wife. The fear of him never leaving her and you always being ‘the other woman’ was real and kept creeping into your mind. 

The next few days went pretty fast. Jensen called and video chatted with the kids every chance he could, and you would get a special, private video call after the kids were in bed. 

The night before he was due to fly in you were laying on your bed, earbuds in and having video phone sex with him. You were so into what was going on on your screen, you didn’t hear the front door. Jensen was close to his release, and you were right behind him when you heard a knock at your door. 

Your eyes shot open, grabbing your sheet, “Hello? Who’s there?” Jensen stopped and looked at the screen, sweat on his brow, panting. “Baby? What’s wrong?” “Someone’s knocking at my door.” 

“Hey, Y/N. I just wanted to let you know I’m home.” You swallowed hard, “Oh okay, Welcome home Mrs. Ackles.” You looked at the screen as you said it. Jensen’s eyes went wide. “Why is she home?” He questioned. “I’m not sure.” “Well, damn she just killed the mood, I’m sorry sweetheart.” “It’s okay baby. Once you get home we will have to continue this. When does your flight get in?” “I arrive back at 10am. God I can’t wait to see you.” “Me either baby. You better get some sleep. I love you.” “I love you too, Y/N. Sleep well and tomorrow I’ll be in your arms again.”

You smiled and nodded, “I can’t wait.” After you two hung up, you got dressed and laid down, thinking about Jensen and how the relationship would work when he got home. Especially with his wife back. You decided that would be a problem better solved when he got home. Besides, she has a lover, why can’t he? 

The next morning the house was buzzing with excitement. Jensen was due home in a few hours and the kids were so excited. His wife was less than excited. You heard her on the phone talking about his Instagram post, “No, it wasn’t about me honey. I promise. I don’t know who it was about, but it wasn’t about me. Remember I love you.” 

You scoffed as you walked away. You couldn’t understand how she could throw away such a good thing with Jensen. Sure he isn’t perfect, but there was nothing that could tear you away from him. 

She emerged from the office and greeted you with a big, fake smile. “Good morning, Y/N. How are you today? I surely hope I didn’t interrupt anything last night.” She smirked at you. She did hear you. Did you say Jensen’s name? “Oh, Good morning, no you didn’t, nothing that couldn’t be continued later.” 

She nodded, “So, I was hoping I could talk to you about something.” “Yeah sure, what’s up?” “Well, I saw a post on Jensen’s Instagram that took me by surprise. He mentioned finding the love of his life. As you know, he and I are not on the best of terms, so I know the post isn’t about me. Have you noticed any women around here when you’ve been here?” “No I haven’t, well just you and I, and the nanny.” “Hmm, maybe it’s someone he works with. I refuse to let him make me out to be a fool.” “I’m sure that’s not what he’s doing, maybe the post was about you. Why else would he profess his love publicly?” 

“Yeah, but it’s not about me. We haven’t had sex or even kissed in months. We don’t love each other anymore.” 

Of course you knew all this, but you had to play dumb. “Mrs. Ackles, I’m so sorry. That has to be hard.” “I appreciate it, but it’s not that hard anymore. I’m happy with Josh and I want to build a life with him.” 

Before you could say anything else you heard the front door open and saw Jensen walk in. Your heart leaped in your chest. The kids ran to him and threw their arms around him, “Daddy! You’re home!” “Hey my babies. I missed you three so much, were you good for Ms Y/N?” They smiled and shook their heads yes. 

Jensen saw you and his wife standing in the kitchen. He acknowledged her and you. “Welcome home, Jensen. The kids missed you so much.” “Thank you, Y/N, and thank you again for stepping in and watching them. I appreciate it.” You nodded.

“Y/N, would you please excuse Jensen and I, we have some things to discuss.” “Oh, yeah sure. Welcome home, again.”

With that you left to head to the guest house. You decided to start unpacking and get things cleaned and organized. About twenty minutes later there was a knock on your door. “Come in” you called. You looked up and saw Jensen standing there with a smile on his face. “Come here sweetheart.” He crossed the room and pulled you into a tight hug. “God I missed you.” He kissed the top of your head. You leaned back and he crashed his lips to yours. Moaning into each other’s mouths he led you backwards towards the bed. 

As you fell backwards you giggled. “I missed your laugh, sweetheart.” Jensen kissed your lips, “Now, where did we leave off last night?” “I don’t know about you, but I was so close, Jens.” “Me too, darlin’.” 

You and Jensen quickly shed your clothes. Laying under Jensen and feeling his hands on your body was beyond euphoric. He knew how to touch you and make you feel so completely alive. 

About 45 minutes and 3 orgasms later, you and Jensen were laying on your bed, breathing heavily and trying to cool down. Sweat covered the two of you. Jensen held you in his arms as you laid on his chest. “Baby, how is this going to work with your wife at home?” 

“I told her tonight I wanted a divorce.” You sat up and gasped, “What?” “Yeah, I told her I had found someone I wanted to build a life with, someone I was completely in love with, and I wanted a divorce. I don’t care what it does to my image. I want to be with you, completely and without having to sneak around. You deserve so much better than that.” 

Your breath hitched in your throat. No one had ever put you first. Jensen choosing you over his marriage and his image was a true testament of his love and commitment to you. 

“Jens, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want you to lose your job.” Jensen cupped your face, “Sweetheart, I’m not going to lose my job, I promise.” “What did she say when you told her?” “She said she was fine with going through with it. That she and Josh were in love and she wanted to marry him. I told her I wished her the best. She’s moving in with Josh today, and the kids are staying with me.” 

You smiled and kissed his lips, “I love you, Jensen.” He leaned in more, laying you back on the bed, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

“I better get dressed and back inside. We are telling the kids tonight before she leaves. It’s going to suck.” You touched his arm, “I know it is. Should I stay here or do you want me there, to help the kids?” “I’d love for you to be there, but I think it’s best if you stay here. Once she’s gone you can come in and we will help the kids together.”

You nodded, “Okay, Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. My priority is you and the kids.” “I love you for that too. I’m sure if you were in there it would cause questions to come up that I’m not ready to answer.” As he started to climb out of the bed he stopped and looked at you, “Thank you for making me believe in love again. When she’s gone I want you to come into the house.” You nodded and he got up to get dressed. 

After he was gone you laid in the bed thinking about everything that has happened in your life since you met Jensen. You couldn’t believe how fast your life had changed. When you married Jeff you thought you were marrying the love of your life, but you were wrong. Being with Jensen was easy, and you felt things with him you hadn’t felt with anyone, even Jeff. You loved Jensen deeply, and you cared and loved his kids too. He and the kids were home. 

A few hours later you saw his wife leave with a suitcase. You sent Jensen a text.

You: Hey, let me know when you want me to come inside. I don’t want to intrude.

Jensen: You can come in. The kids took it better than I thought they would. There were some tears, but I think they knew it was coming. 

You: I’m glad it went better than you thought it would, I hate they felt it was coming, though. 

Jensen: Me too, now get your cute butt in here. 😙

You smiled and you put your phone away. Walking inside the house you weren’t sure what to expect. Jensen and the kids were sitting on the floor in the living room playing. You smiled when you saw the four of them. Jensen’s green eyes looked up at you with so much love. You bit your lip as you looked at him, and you blushed. 

“Ms. Y/N, mommy left again, she’s moving in with Uncle Josh. We’re going to stay here with daddy and you.” Jensen Jr said to you. “I heard, sweetie, and how does that make you feel?” You asked him. “I guess okay. I love mommy, but I know I get to see her still.” “Yes you do buddy, whenever you want,” Jensen said. 

You looked over at the girls, taking a seat on the floor, you asked them, “How are you two doing?” Jessica looked at you and you snuggled to your side, “I’m okay. I get to live with daddy and you. I love you Ms. Y/N.” You pulled her in your arms, “I love you too sweetheart, I love all of you very much.” Her big green eyes were wide, “Even daddy?” You smiled and nodded, “Yes, even your daddy.” 

Annie sat quietly. You looked at her and then at Jensen. You saw the concern etched in his face. “Annie, sweetie, are you okay?” Jensen asked. Annie looked up and tears were in her eyes. Jensen’s heart broke. She looked over at you and back at Jensen, you noticed her lower lip quivering. 

“Annie, it’s okay, baby. We’re here for you. Talk to us, so we can help you.” Jensen pleaded. The words were caught in her throat. Jensen scooped up his little girl and held her in his arms, tightly. You ushered the other two to their playroom, giving Annie and Jensen some privacy. 

You grabbed the door handle, about to walk outside, and Annie spoke up, “Ms. Y/N, please don’t go too.” You froze in place, turned around and said, “Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere. I was just going outside so you and daddy could talk.” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” You walked over to her and Jensen and sat down, “Okay, sweetie, I’ll stay.” 

She gave you a slight smile. What she said next completely broke your’s and Jensen’s hearts. “Daddy, why doesn’t mommy love us anymore?” Jensen sat speechless for a minute, “Oh sweetie, mommy does love you and your brother and sister. Mommy and Daddy just don’t love each other enough anymore to stay married. That’s not going to change how either of us feel about you three. I promise you that.” 

She nodded and left the room. Jensen sat on the couch and let out a long sigh. “I guess I need to start telling family and friends, oh and my manager. This is going to go over so well,” Jensen said sarcastically. 

You rubbed his shoulder and took his hand, “Hey, I’m here for you, no matter what. I love you, remember?” He smiled, “Yeah, I remember, thank you baby.” He placed a soft kiss on your lips. 

Jensen stood and walked towards his office. He stopped and looked over at you and smiled. You gave him a soft smile back and nodded. He walked into his office and closed the door. 

Taking a deep breath you started to busy yourself around the house. Cleaning the kitchen and thinking about the future with Jensen and his kids. You knew you were in love with Jensen, and he was in love with you. Nothing else going on mattered, because you knew as long as the two of you had each other you could tackle the world. 

Tags are open, let me know if you want to be tagged.

Tags:

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 

@k-slla @jackles010378 

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 

@roseblue373 @cheynovak 

@jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa 

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @deana1245 

@mostlymarvelgirl @i-love-ptv

@iwouldfightforfrenchie @spxideyver

@peachhiz @glenpowellheart 

@lmg14

[onsunnyside]

I personally think we don't talk about Jake Jensen enough so here's a thot I had earlier

Dark best friend!Jake Jensen x naive!reader

Maybe he's always been on the sidelines waiting for you to finally give him a chance and he's constantly sabotaging your relationships under the guise of giving you "good" advice and constantly telling you to just break up with whoever you're currently dating cause "clearly one little fight will just lead to many big fights and that's just to much for my pretty girl to handle"

But of course you don't realize he's the common denominator in all your failed relationships cause its Jakey and you trust him more then anybody else. All your past boyfriends who thought it was weird that you would have sleep overs with your male bestfriend, wear almost nothing when your lounging around with him and constantly cuddling with him just need to grow up 🙄

And so what if you constantly feel like you're being watched when you're in your dorm all alone, yeah it was weird finding one of Jakes cameras hiding on a shelf with a perfect view of your bed, but he's constantly leaving his cameras in weird places 😅

Jake just wants what's best for and if he has to ruin your relationships one after another to make you realize that, then so be it

- 🦔 (I hope this made sense I'm got distracted by The Nanny halfway through writing this 😅)

ah yes !! i actually have something similar: perv bff jake. all your exes had the same concerns about you and jake being too close, you wearing his clothes, sitting in his lap, and ofc those sleepovers that you always chose over a date with your bf at the time. they've watched you giggle in his lap while he played video games, your panties peeking out from under one of jake's sweaters. THE CAMERAS !! you call him up: "you left one of your cameras in my dorm again, you're lucky I found it and not my roommate! They would've thought you were some kind of perv."

the turning point is when you're actually getting quite serious with this new guy, and can't make it to one of your sleepovers. jake decides to go wherever you are bc yes he has your location, and oh my 😳 he sees you sitting on that guy's lap, making out with his hand up your dress 🫡 and doesn't like that one bit

[mysticaldeanvoidhorse]

A Chance at Love

Part 5

Jensen x Reader

Summary:

Having been legal guardian to your niece for almost a year, you land a job on the set of Supernatural.  You become good friends with Jared, doing his makeup everyday but when Jensen gets back from a small break, are you able to stick to your oath to keep your heart closed?

tag list: @streets-in-paradise ​ @nancymcl @lyarr24 ​ @hobby27 ​  @tristanrosspada-ackles @muhahaha303 @kazsrm67

tag list open :)

Masterlist

page breakers curtesy of @firefly-graphics​

      At lunch with the boys, conversation flowed easily.  You enjoyed being able to laugh and have adult interaction.  It was nice to not talk about barbies and coloring pictures.  You couldn’t help but notice you talked to Jensen more than the others, but you tried not to think too much.  Your conversation flowed and you knew he was a nice guy so you took it at face value.

“So next Saturday, would that work Carol?”

“Yes, Jared, I think so.”

“You should come too, Y/N, now that you are part of the makeup crew”  Jared smiled at you.

“No, I can’t crash your special dinner.”  You were surprised and flattered for the invite, but you knew it wouldn’t be possible to go anyway.

“Of course you can, you are part of the family now”  Carol smiled at you.

“Even if I wanted to, I have Morgan and I can't leave her alone.”  You replied.

“My kids can babysit, they nanny after school for the neighbors.  If you are comfortable I can have them come meet you and you can decide if you want them to babysit.”  Carol continued.  It wasn’t that you didn’t trust her or her kids, if they were like her, you just had never been away from Morgan before.

“I really appreciate it but I don’t know if I could leave her, I haven’t before.”  You revealed.

“The first time is always hard but it will only be a few hours and trust me you will feel so much better having some time to yourself I promise.”  Carol pushed.

“You have a kid?”  Jensen interjected, a little surprised.

“I do.”  You stared him in the eye to gauge his reaction.

“Oh, I didn’t know.”  He looked a little put off by it.  You held in a sigh.  And there was the flaw.  You finally found it but you weren’t as happy as you wanted to be about finding his imperfection.

“She is my world but I will meet your kids, I’m sure they would be perfect to babysit Morgan.”  You told Carol.

“That settles it then”  She said triumphantly.  You all got up to leave, having finished your lunch.  The rest of the day Carol talked about how fun it is to hang out with the boys, how it kept her young etc. and though you did your best to listen and be present, you couldn’t help but focus on how put off Jensen seemed about hearing you had a kid.  But it was probably for the best. You had a silly crush and you didn’t know him at all, just your idea of him and he was very nice so a working relationship would be just fine.  It wasn’t like you ever thought you stood a chance anyway, not that you wanted to, right?

      You had met Carol’s daughter who was 16 and she was just as lovely as her mother and you knew she would be a good babysitter.  Morgan had met her too, and she took to her right away.  You were thankful.  You didn’t know how Morgan would react given her shyness and being more clingy with new people.

     The next week went by with nothing new, Jared was a delight as always, making jokes and keeping you entertained while you did his makeup, and Jensen seemed a little off but that was the new normal.

“Y/N do you have a moment?”  Jensen asked you one day as you were just about to leave.

“I am sorry, but I was just heading out to pick up Morgan from school.”  You told him honestly, though secretly you were glad for the excuse.

“Oh yeah, I suspect it probably is that time.  How old is she?” He asked casually.

“She is 4.”  You didn’t know what else to say but answer the question.

“Oh just a little tyke then.”  He chuckled.

“Yes she keeps me on my toes, I don’t know what to do with her half the time.”  You laughed too.

“I am sorry if I seemed surprised I just wasn’t aware you had a child and it was surprising.  You just didn’t seem like a mother to me.”  You took a step back.

“What is that supposed to mean?”  You asked defensively.

“No, not that you aren’t a mom, or a good mother, crap.  I am not coming across well.”

“No you aren’t.”  You said, looking at the time.

“I just meant you are young, and fun and I guess I didn’t realize you had a family is all.”  You could tell he didn’t mean offense but it still hurt because you were insecure about being a guardian to begin with.

“Look, Jensen I appreciate you apologizing but you have to understand it isn’t conventional and I am doing my best.”

“I am sure you are, you give 110 in everything you do here. I have every confidence you take really good care of your daughter.  Sounds like you are a single mom?”  He pushed.  You didn’t know if there was judgment there or not but you had a long day and had to go.

“Yes, it is just me and Morgan, I am surprised Jared or Carol haven’t mentioned more. I am sure my story is good grounds for gossip.”  He went to make what you assumed was another lame apology but you started before he could. “Look I really have to go, I will see you later.”  You walked by him before he could stop you.

“Uh yeah, I will see you at dinner.” He called, and you just put up your hand as a sign of goodbye and continued walking with your back toward him.

Jensen’s POV

“And I called after her like an idiot. I feel like a dick.”  I told Jared, who remained quiet until now.

“You do sound like a dick.”  He chuckled.

“Thanks.”  I glared at him, taking a drink from my water.  We still had a few more scenes that day.

“Look, I don’t know her whole story, I just know up until last year she lived in Minnesota and left it all behind for that little girl.  So whatever she is going through, it’s not a surprise she doesn’t have time for bullshit.”

“Wait, they moved here a year ago, why?”  I asked him

“Well I think the kid lived here already.”

“With her dad?”  

“I don’t know, but you could ask Carol, she knows everything by now I am sure.  She’s good at getting people to open up and she has taken it upon herself to be protective of Y/N.”  Jared said.  “Look I’ll catch you later I gotta go.”

“Alright man, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”  I knew Carol would be a dead end, to her credit she learned a lot about people but she didn’t gossip.  I knew I would have to talk to Y/N and get it all figured out.  There was something about her that made me want to know everything about her.

[abbatoirablaze]

January Updates

So I knew that December was going to be pretty crazy, and very out of wack for my updates...a lot of personal things happened/have happened that are still affecting me, but I'm still working on stuff for everyone.

My schedule should go back to a normal schedule this month.

WIPS ENDING THIS MONTH

MSI-Dream Girl (Pornstar Chris Evans X Reader)

Into The Light (Super powered Reader X Lamplighter)

The Understudies, Season 1 (The Umbrella Academy)

Just Ben (Soldier Boy X prostitute reader)

The Nanny (Dilf! Jake Jensen X Nanny reader)

Big Bad Wolf (Lloyd Hansen X innocent! younger reader)

NEW WORKS

SDAU-The Alpha & The Omega (Alpha Bucky Barnes X Theta Reader X Omega Steve Rogers)

Police Academy (Various CEvans and SebStan characters X female and male OC's)

MSI-Out Of The Closet (Pornstar! Thor X Male fluffer OC)

AOD- All For You (Mob AU/ Bucky Barnes X Shuri)

TM Tragedy Season 3 (SOA Season 3 X OC characters)

[drkcnry67]

Would you like to make this permanent?

Title: would you like to make this permanent?

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Single parent AU

Spn fluff: engagement

Tags: cock in pussy, demonic possession, exorcism by sex(yes I know it's weird but it fits), devils trap, engagement, kids, etc

Summery: not telling.

Created for @spnfluffbingo

Jensen: look I can't go right now, I can't leave my child here by herself she is only 2... my nanny just quit and so did my assistant I have no one to watch my daughter...

Robert: try the local ads for live in nanny, there's one umm her name is YN I already called her references on your behalf and she says she can start immediately. And she is a beautiful one at that...

Jensen couldn't believe it, his friend was being so helpful right then...

Jensen: thank you Rob, did you send her my address!

Rob: yep, she should almost be there... not to worry buddy I've got your back!

Soon as Jensen hung up the phone he was alerted to the sound of tires on the pavement. He carried his young sleepy daughter to the front door to greet whoever was coming up the walk...

Jensen: can I help you?

Yn: hi I'm yn I was told to come here to start Mt new job, are you Jensen?

Jensen snaps his fingers for the gardeners to help you with your bags... you got to the door and shoke jensens hand.

Jensen: you arrived just in time I know you just got here and are tired of driving and you don't have to, you just have to come with me to the office so I can deal with some stuff. And so we can set you up also as my new assistant.

You were confused...

Yn: I thought I was a live in nanny...

Jensen: dammit rob didn't explain everything did he? Course not okay here's the deal, my last assistant was also my nanny... she watched over my precious little girl, speaking of which this little cutie is Justice Jay, but I call her JJ for short! It's nap time plus she hasn't been sleeping well the last bit...

You strap your purse on your shoulder and recieve JJ in your arms. Her soft snores fill your ears as Jensen grabs some stuff and a backpack and leads you back out of the door.

He has you hand your car keys to the gardeners so they can finish unloading your car and move it into the garage.

You follow Jensen to his car, you lay JJ in her car seat and shut the door. You take a moment to breathe but don't notice Jensen coming up behind you.

Jensen: you okay?

Yn: ya I guess its just how do you know your trusting your assistants position and nanny position to the right person.

Jensen turned you to face him... your eyes glistened with the threat of tears to fall... Jensen wiped your cheek before speaking softly.

Jensen: I have a way with people. A way to see the good, a way to see that no matter what happens this is where you belong.

You touch his arms and feel him tense and hear a low hiss rip from deep in his core.

Yn: what's happening to you?

Jensen: im not sure, your the first girl whose made my inner demons react this way.

Yn: well then we will have to see if they make another appearance... now let's go do what we have to do and come back here so we can talk a bit I think we need to discuss some stuff.

Jensen: yes I think perhaps your right.

The trip to the office was long but once there you sat down to continue to cradle JJ who was still fast asleep.

You signed what you needed to, you clocked in for the time you were in the office, you went where you were supposed to you jotted down notes on an iPad while Jensen met with some people.

You clocked out when Jensen said it was time to go pick up dinner... you guys went back down to the car stopped and picked up Chinese and made a liquor store run to pick up some sweet fruity wine.

Once that was finished and you both were on the road back home, Jensen grabbed your hand and you once more felt him tense as you covered his hand with your other hand.

Yn: don't worry I'll help you, fight the demons I can do this and I promise no one else will ever suffer your fate again.

Jensen: so it is a demonic force...

Yn: yes it is and the reason why it keeps reacting to me is cause I can tell what it is and how it reacts, it's not the first demon I've dealt with.

Jensen just squeezed your hand he knew he was gonna deal with this one way or another.

When you guys pulled up jj woke up for a bit, long enough to have dinner, have a bath, play with you for a bit and then Jensen watched as you sat with her and read her a bedtime story and she fell asleep shortly after the story ended.

Jensen no longer sporting a suit now sporting sweats and a muscle shirt very relaxed comfortable look.

Jensen: I'll pour the wine and meet you in the living room.

Yn: I warn you though this treatment is not gonna be pleasant you and i will have to be alot closer and the demon will try to make you feel it as discomfort and displeasure but dont let it... oh and you might wanna get as comfortable as possible. Oh and grab a few blankets and at least 3 towels!

jensen: but how?

yn: just think about how the demon reacts to skin on skin contact between me and you.

you reach up on your tippy toes and place a kiss to jensens lips. and then you scamper off to your room to prepare. you grabbed the rosery, the holy water, the salt and the the devils trp blnket getting into a tank top and shorts removing your bra cause you didnt want to loose your favorite bra.

you then used your phone to text the maid that you and jensen were gonna be curled up in the living room watchin a movie that the maid had to listen for JJ in the morning she texted back saying that would be okay, she would be delighted to help out...

You had to do it this way, You had no choice but to catch this demon off guard, you had to play the coin... the ace as it were, you and Jensen had feelings for eachother that was certain but how strong were these feelings and would they be powerful enough to catch the demon off guard.

yn: alright are you ready for this...

you say as you enter the living room. you catch jensen now in his boxers and no shirt makes you breathe out small slow breaths.

jensen: you said comfortable... now what do we do with the blankets.

yn: well lets just say the demon is not gonna be happy and we are gonna need to build us a kind of nest...

you look at the pile of stuff jensen had on the couch and kinda giggle.

yn: an air mattress will certainly make things a bit more comfortable. ok so first things first we need to move the couch back and the coffee table back as well.

after that was done you had jensen set up the air mattress as you placed the flameless candles around in a circle. you then grab the spare blankets off the couch and place them on each side of the air mattress.

yn: okay the last blanket is for us to cover ourselves with, but i need to hear you say that you understand what i actually meant in what i said earlier.

jensen: i did understand that part of it thats why i wasnt being shy with how im dressed.

Yn: I am a little nervous this is the first time I've found a case where it has to be skin to skin contact.

Jensen: so this is...

Yn: my first time ever yes! And I couldn't be loosing it to a better man, Jensen your one of the good ones, your one of the most honest and decent men I've ever known.

Jensen: I know this is sudden and we only just met and we can't change these events nor can we go back in time to before this happened to me, but we are gonna make things right, I wanna make things right by asking you to make this position permanent and...

You place a finger to his lips and look him straight in the eyes.

Yn: save the rest of that question for after we save your life. Now undress me and remain as in control as you can while our skins connect and the demon reacts.

Jensen slowly traced every inch of your body lowering you slowly onto the air mattress, he slid off your tank top, he then placed soft kisses to your breasts as he slid off your shorts and then he moved to kiss your sweet sensitive wet pussy.

Yn: yes Jensen keep going, once you slide into me give me a few seconds to adjust to you, and then I'll put the blanket over us.

You moaned out as Jensens tongue flicked over your clit, which felt as though it might pulsate right off your body.

Jensen moved to sit up on his knees between your legs as has removed his boxers and is stroking his rock hard cock.

Jensen: get ready with the blanket yn, the demon is fighting me it wants to come out it wants to take over.

Yn: don't worry Jensen I won't let that happen. Do it...

Jensen slid right into you, your entire world shifted, you could feel the demonic force struggling within Jensen, you felt Jensen relax once you dropped the blanket over top of the two of you.

Jensen(demon): excuse me but you know that you just trapped me in this body in this position right...

Yn: yes and I would like you to leave peacefully or suffer the excruciating pain of me sending you packing back to hell. Your choice.

Jensens voice was disoriented dark and cruel.

Jensen(demon): my choice huh, well I choose to fuck you into the middle of next week and to fill you with my demonic sperm.

Yn: eww bitch how bout you enjoy your trip back to hell.

You allow your body to squirm free and you place your hands on his cheeks and start the exorcism...

Yn: Jensen if you can hear me hold on... fight it.. exorciamous te omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii omnis legio omnis congregatio insectas diabolica ergo dracto malidicte ecclesia secura tuam facias libertate te regamos audinos

With that last word you held down the blanket tight as jensens body exiled the black smoke the demon. And it was done.

You pulled jensens face to look at you.

Yn: hey stranger, how do you feel?

Jensens eyes met yours and he kissed you not wasting any more time as he started thrusting into you hard fast and rough, moans and screams of pleasure came as you both met your releases together.

Jensen didn't pull out of you instead he reached behind him onto the table and presented you with a ring...

Jensen: yn, look I know it's only been several hours but after what you just did and what probably happened here there is no doubt in my mind that your the one I want to have beside me for the rest of my life.

You smile but looking at the ring and then back at Jensen..

Yn: but how can you feel this way when we barely know eachother.

Jensen: look at what you just did for me and my daughter, and my company it's also the least I can do since the virginity thing plus if we did create life of our own this will make things right.

Yn: but we hardly know eachother

Jensen: and we will have plenty of time to get to know eachother as we do our long engagement! I want this and I want it with you!

You hold out your left hand and he slides the cool metal band on your finger!

Yn: its beautiful! Thank you for trusting me enough with everything after only a few hours of knowing eachother!

Jensen just pulls you closer to his form so he is proping you up to stare at him.

Jensen: I wouldn't have it any other way now we sleep, it's gonna be a new beginning and plus I'm sure JJ will want to show you all her toys and enjoy the trip to the zoo tomorrow! I know I will!

Yn: I look forward to it, Mr Ackles!

That was the last word you could speak Jensen had your lips captured in a ferocious kiss! After a few minutes you were covered in jensens arms and the blanket and both of you fell asleep.

Little to your surprise you both would be awoken by being jumped on by JJ... the maid running behind her.

Maid: im so sorry you guys, she insisted on waking you guys up early to start the day! Instead of having her bath...

Yn: its perfectly alright. JJ, how bout this, you go with the maid to take a bath and pick out your favorite outfit and we will go to the zoo once we are all ready to go and spend the entire day at the zoo! And there will be an extra special surprise in it for you if you get ready without any hassle. How does that sound?

JJ squeals in excitement as she takes off and running upstairs with the maid to her own bathroom and bedroom..

You turned your attention to jensen.

Jensen: that was very nicely handled...

Yn: it is the oldest trick in the book. Good morning by the way.

Jensen: mmm good morning. I guess we should actually get up and start getting ready if we are gonna keep your promise to JJ.

You kiss his lips and for that moment it was beautiful! You get off him and wrap your form in a sheet, before extending a hand to your man!

Jensen gets up and wraps a blanket round his waist as you both walk up the stairs and to jensens bedroom.

Jensen: Don't worry about the Sheet we Will haveto find you a better wardrobe

Yn: hmm I think I have a sundress in my bag, can I get it?

Jensen puts up 1 finger and you feel giddy as he walks out the door and into the room that was supposed to be yours and you watch as he brings your bags into his room.

Jensen: I don't feel that seperate rooms are necessary do you...

You shake your head as you go into the bathroom to check yourself in the mirror...

Yn: God I have bags under my eyes. Hey Jensen can you hand me that purple sparkly case?

Jensen hands you the bag and then wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

Jensen: mmm you are gorgeous bags under your eyes or not...

Yn: thank you Jensen but honestly this is just my toiletry bag... hairbrush face wash toothbrush etc

Jensen laughs and begins his daily routine, you begin to brush out the rats nest you call hair. Jensen trims his stubble and then uses his aftershave which makes you feel hot and bothered again.

Jensen: really your getting turned on by my aftershave damn, this is gonna make today alot more fun!

Yn: really fun is that what you call it...

Jensen: yes that's exactly what I call it and once we are at the zoo we will do this proposal question again for everyone to see...

Yn: why not a photoshoot for it not ask the question again but a photoshoot.

Jensen: hold that thought let me call a buddy of mine, he loves photography and we will get him to do a family photo shoot us and JJ...

Jensen says as he turns back to look at you as you finish straightening out your short rainbow leopard print dress, jensens eyes scan your form and it feels like he is trying to burn that dress off you with that gaze of his.

Jensen: when did you get this delectable dress

Yn: one of many many first dates that never happened... so it just became a dress I wear when I want to feel like I have a life that matters.

Jensen comes up to rub your arms as he smiles pulling your chin up to look into your eyes.

Jensen: you do and nothing is ever gonna change that again. Now would you help me pick something out.

Yn: show me your closet and then sit on the bed.

Jensen arches his eyebrow then does as told, he then is amazed as he watches you wiggle your ass as you put together a suitable outfit for the days events.

Yn: the black and sky blue will offset my vibrant colors.

Jensen: done. Go relieve the maid and find some drinks for us to bring.

You peck him on the lips before leaving the room. You relieve the maid and walk with JJ into the kitchen and you pack a backpack with a blanket to sit on, a few bottles of water and some snacks for JJ..

JJ: yn, what were you and daddy doing this morning.

You had to think quickly you couldn't tell her the truth, but you couldn't lie to her either though this technically isn't lying it's bending the truth.

Yn: yoga. We were doing yoga.

JJ sits in the booster seat eating a couple pieces of cheese and you finish sealing the backpack as Jensen comes out of the hallway

Jensen: hey monkey are you ready to party with the animals.

JJ throws the piece of cheese she is holding in excitement and you giggle at the sight of jensen now swinging JJ round.

You could feel the love you had forming for Jensen growing more and more by the second. You continue to watch as Jensen now sits his daughter down and asks her a question.

Jensen: JJ how would you feel if YN lived with us permanently?

JJ: does that mean we can go to the zoo more often...

You laugh as you show JJ the ring on your finger

Yn: as many times as you like princess... speaking of the zoo what do you say we get going...

You and Jensen watch JJ happily run over to the door forgoing her sandals and running out to the car.

She gets strapped in by one of the attendants. You grab her sandals, Jensen follows carrying the backpack. Before you both exit the house Jensen pulls you into an enchanting soft kiss.

Jensen: second thought I'd rather take you back to bed...

You chuckle as you tuch your hand to his cheek.

Yn: except we would be disappointing the very very excited little girl in the car.

Jensen sighs and groans as he realizes that your right.

Jensen: ugh fine we will go but you must promise me that we will find a moment or 2 to be alone just us while we are there?

yn: i think i can find one or 2 moments. now lets get this show on the road.

shortly after that you guys were in the car and on the way to the zoo. parking in valet and then seeing the line of people you watch as your fiance now is using the self ticket checkout...

you had to help him of course but once you all had your tickets it was amazing. JJ ran straight to see the first exhibit, course she was so excited she couldnt find the animal.

you and jensen helped show it to her, but you and Jensen were pre occupied by the sight of eachothers eyes. JJ was petting a sheep in the petting zoo, you and jensen were standing in watchful eyes set on her.

jensen: so the photographer should be here in an hour do we want to have lunch before or after the photos.

you had to think about this, you werent sure but you decided you would leave it up to him.

yn: maybe we should see if JJ is hungry that would give us a better answer of what to do about this...

The rest of the outing was pleasant, a nice family photoshoot done around the zoo, some nice couples shots of you and Jensen.

During dinner JJ started to nod off. You and jensen had tuckered her out, well okay she tuckered herself out.

Jensen: I don't think she is gonna make it through dinner.

Yn: JJ stay awake or your gonna miss dinner!

You say as she just groans lightly at you before her small soft snores could be heard clear as day

You and jensen kinda giggled. You got up to go talk to the server who was so good about it and only charged half the price cause your new step daughter was falling asleep.

But you and Jensen were able to bring the ordered meals home. Putting the containers in the backpack which Jensen carried and you carried JJ whose soft snores were ringing in your ear.

Jensen: damn yn you tuckered out my daughter you are getting extra points for this one.

Yn: ya well you sir I believe owe me more attention as you promised to do earlier.

You purr as Jensen pins you to the side of the car after strapping in the sleeping JJ.

Jensen: oh that's right I did didn't I... hmm well how bout this, take off your panties

Yn: what?

Jensen: take off your panties.

You felt him release one of your hands for you to wiggle out of your panties. You hand them to him.

Jensen: good girl, now sit in the car and don't make a sound no matter what happens.

You smile lightly as he opens the door for you and shuts it behind you. JJs snores fill the car before Jensen gets in turns it on and turns on the instrumental sounds he uses for JJ.

Yn: hmm and what kind of mood are we trying to set here...

jensen: one where i can make you cum before we get home... one that stimulates you more than you already are.

you instantly try to cover yourself not sure how to even react. but you feel his fingers tracing circles into your thigh, instinctively you open your legs and feel him slide his fingers across your dripping wet pussy.

Yn: oh my God, what are you doing? What if JJ wakes up?

Jensen: once she is asleep she is asleep throughout the night... she isn't gonna wake up anytime soon...

Yn: then make me squirt, make me know the reason why you are mine!

jensen didnt need to be told twice for he was already starting to play with your sensitive clit. the throbbing sensations through your body were electrifying.

jensen: squirt and cum for me baby, let me feel your juices all over my hand and fingers then when we get home you can ride my cock and we can cristen the car.

you were reaching your peak, you couldnt wait till you got home, you knew you had to do something. you reached over to undo jensens belt and undo his pants, he slid his seat back while the car was not even moving.

yn: fuck waiting till we get home, just make sure the sounds dont stop, now slid off your cargo shorts i need release. now!

you lift up your dress and over to straddle your fiance! the next sound was your stiffled moan as you slid down on your fiances hard thick cock!

this was the first time you guys had sex in a car, it was worse when JJ stirred a bit you both stopped and were ready in case she woke up but she didnt so you continued.

the climax hit you like a sac of bricks, neither you nor jensen knew it hit till you both felt the hot liquid pooling at the bottom of the seat. you got off him and grabbed the stack of napkins and helped kind of clean up the mess.

jensen: guess that takes care of that for now...

yn: i guess so. so we go home and have a glass of wine

jensen: curl up with wine on the couch and watch some sort of movie.

yn: perfect

thats exactly what happened. arriving home you carried JJ in the house and put her in bed once she was in a nightgown. jensen talked to the valet to leave the suv where it was for the night, and then to wash the front seats in the morning.

going back downstairs you find jensen in the living room with a blanket on the couch, wine in glasses on the table and choosing a movie.

jensen: any requests?

yn: nah you choose cause i know you wont let anything bad happen to me.

that was the beginning of your new life, the happily ever after you had desired for so long, the life you wanted it was finally yours.

~thats all for now folks~

[mummybear]

Daddy’s Dirty Little Secret

Words: 4,002

Warnings: Daddy Kink, Swearing, Cheating, Smut, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Lots Of Dirty Talk, Secret Sex, Slight Choking, Possessive Jensen, Size Kink. (Think that’s it!)

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Nanny(Babysitter)Reader

Summary: One night it’s extremely and unseasonably cold and you’re trying to fight it off, when you get a surprise visitor.

A/N: So I know it’s been a while since my last post guys, sorry! Hope this one is worth the wait though! It went from a drabble to a one shot, and almost to a mini series but I stopped myself haha :P Enjoy! 

Today had also been an unusually difficult day, with two of the three kids being ill, even then though they were still completely adorable. You love your job, being a live in nanny is like nothing else, there was just something so rewarding about it. It of course helps that the children that you look after are so good, at least most of the time. Spending all day with them and most of the evening for well over three years now, you had grown extremely close to them, in fact you’d grown close to the entire family. 

Even if you did have some kind of an intense crush on their father, you’d managed to keep it hidden surprisingly well considering. That man was just goddamn ridiculous in your own defence, he was damn near perfect, and you wanted more than anything to find something wrong with him that you could focus on, but nope, not a thing, not one thing in three freaking years.

You pull your duvet up higher around your shoulders, yet again distracted by the cold. It was unseasonably cold for this time of year, and it didn’t seem to matter how hard you tried, you were still freezing cold. Your oversized t-shirt barely reaches your mid thighs, and you really wish that the rest of your pyjamas weren’t still in the wash. You want to get out of bed and wrap your fluffy robe around yourself beneath the duvet, but you can’t bring yourself to get out of bed to get it. 

You’re so tired that you eventually feel yourself starting to drift off, but before you manage it completely you hear your door clicking closed and being locked as someone stumbles inside. You rationalise that it must be one of the kids out of bed, you feel the covers lift and you shiver at the cold breeze which sneaks beneath the duvet with the body. But before you can turn and tell the little one you’ll take them back to bed, you stiffen in surprise. Feeling a strong pair of warm arms wrap around your waist before you're pulled back into a solid warm chest. 

There’s only one person it could possibly be, but that doesn't make any sense, he’d never done anything like this before, maybe he’d gotten into the wrong bed by accident? He had been out drinking. 

You have to sink your teeth into your bottom lip when his warm calloused hands slip beneath your long t-shirt, one hand moves under your body, pulling you back impossibly closer, before the same hand curls around your hip. His free hand continues up your body, moving slowly over the dip in your waist and over your ribs. 

You’re breathing hard, your heart thudding in your chest. You know you need to say something, but he feels so damn good, and the arousal is already pooling in your panties.

“Mmm, fuck you feel so good, baby girl. So soft,” he groans under his breath as he nuzzles against your neck, breath warm against your skin. You can smell the alcohol now, which confirms your suspicions. 

“J-Jensen? I...uh, oh, fuck…” you whimper, feeling his big warm hand cup and squeeze your breast.

“I think you might be in the wrong bed.” 

Jensen chuckles against your skin as he drags his teeth over your earlobe.

“But you’re so cold, don’t you want daddy to warm you up?” he purrs, pressing kisses against your neck and along your shoulders.

Your head is spinning, and you would swear you were dreaming if his skin wasn’t so warm against yours. God you know it’s wrong, and it’s fucked up, but you don’t want him to go.

“B-But, Jensen, you’re drunk… what about if you wake up in the morning and regret being in here with me?” 

“Aww, isn’t that sweet. You worried about takin’ advantage of me, princess?” he asks, and you can hear the humour lacing his tone as he moves his hand slightly, and gently pinches your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. You arch into his touch and press your ass back into the impressive bulge in his pants. 

Jensen’s fingers flex around your hip and tighten slightly, drawing you back against him tighter. 

“I think that all depends on just how drunk you are,” you breathe out shakily, as his stubble grazes your neck and he chuckles quietly.

“Don’t you worry, baby girl. I know exactly what I’m doing, I was just too chicken shit to do it before. The drink was already arranged, so I had to go, but I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, those pretty little noises I heard you makin’,” he groans deeply, dragging his teeth over the patch of skin just below your ear, and it makes your belly flip in anticipation, but at the same time you’re worried about just how much he’d heard.

You swallow thickly, before pulling out of his hold and turning over to face him with wide eyes. 

“Exactly how much did you hear?” you ask nervously, but coming face to him is harder than you’d first realised. God he looks so good, and you find yourself getting distracted, even by the little that you can see that isn’t hidden.

His hair is a complete sexy mess on top of his head, his eyes are a much darker green than you’ve ever seen them, and his lips look just a little more swollen and plump, just begging you to bite them. He’s shirtless, that much you could tell as soon as he’d climbed into your bed, but his boxers are still on. You are extremely aware of the fact that you're staring, and becoming more distracted by the second, when Jensen’s deep chuckle pulls you out of your thoughts.

Jensen bites his lip, clearly trying and failing to bite back a smirk. 

“Like what you see I take it?” he chuckles, looking like a deadly combination between sexy and cocky, and then you feel his hand smoothing up your leg slowly, his thumb pressing in harder against your inner thigh as he moves, and your breath hitches in your throat.

“S-Shut up… A-And answer the question,” you stutter, regretting what you had said instantly and sounding way more nervous that you’d planned to. His eyes narrow, as he looks at you and you swallow thickly, rolling onto your back to try and create a little distance between the two of you, but he only gets closer and you notice the tick in his jaw.

“You wanna repeat that?” he all but growls, and you quickly shake your head. 

“N-No, Daddy. I’m sorry,” you whisper as innocently as you can manage. Trying to go along with what he had said earlier, and going by the deep groan that it pulls from his lips, you’d judged the situation correctly.

“Mmm, such a good girl, you do learn fast, I’m impressed. But since you wanna know so bad, I heard everything, sweetheart. Every perfect little moan, and every single time you begged for my cock. I especially loved hearing you say that you wanted to be my perfect little slut. That still true, baby girl? You still want that?” he asks rasps, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, just as his hand stops between your legs and his fingers brush over the damp patch in your panties.

“F-Fuck… Jensen. We shouldn’t be doing this,” you whimper loudly, feeling his fingers press against your clothed pussy with a little more pressure. 

“You let me worry about that, baby girl. Answer the question, say it, come on,” he demands softly, moving his fingers up and down your clothed slit slowly, pausing as he eyes lock with yours, and he starts circling your throbbing clit.

You take a deep breath before nodding, but he cocks his eyebrow questioningly at you, as if he needs to hear you say it. So decide to risk your voice barely coming out.

“Fuck… Yes, I still want it. I uh, I still wanna be your dirty little slut,” you whisper hotly against his lips, swallowing thickly when Jensen smirks at you in that way that only he can, and you swear all the air has been stolen from your lungs.

You shuffle up the bed, and he follows as you rest your back against the pillows. His plump parted lips are only a breath away, and you can’t take it anymore. You close the distance between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his neck and your lips crash against his, in a needy and heated kiss. Jensen growls against your lips and wraps a fist in the back of your hair in an attempt to pull you closer as he eagerly responds, your scalp stings slightly at the tug, but you welcome the pain. 

It feels like he’s everywhere, his big strong hands all over you. You only break apart so he can roughly tug your t-shirt over your head, then his hands and lips are back on you. The cold in the room is no longer a concern, you’re too hot to even notice it now, you push your fingers into the back of his hair and gently pull his head back.

He nibbles your bottom lip between his teeth, and groans deeply in his chest when he finally lets you pull back so you can both breathe. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for ages, the amount of times I’ve jacked it in the shower thinkin’ about you in those tight little shorts and jeans, baby girl. And don’t even get me started on that perfect little mouth of yours, thinking about how fast I could have you down on your knees is fucking torture.” You whimper at his words, and your fingers tighten on him as he keeps talking. 

“Wanna feel every fucking part of you… take you wherever you stand, and make you scream. And fuck... it’s so hot hearing you say it again. Except now, I can feel how wet your tight little cunt is, not just hear it through the wall.”

You’re in no doubt that you’re blushing hard,it’s an effect he’d had on you from the day he’d hired you. And hearing those words on his perfect lips paired with the tone of his voice, is enough to have your stomach doing backflips. Not to mention he had just kissed every ounce of resolve about this being a bad idea from your mind, now all you can think about is him, consequences be damned.

“I… shit… could you really hear it?” you ask a little nervously, as he tugs your panties down your legs and tosses them over his shoulder. You watch him closely as he crawls between your legs and lays on his stomach, and you swear a new wave of arousal hits you as he looks up at you with those darkened green eyes.

He’s wearing that shit eating grin again when his eyes lock with yours, and he hums quietly, nibbling on his bottom lip thoughtfully. 

“Every single sexy sound, you got yourself so fuckin’ wet thinking about it didn’t you?” he purrs, pushing your legs up the bed, so that they bend at the knees, and then you let them fall open before his eyes. Enjoying the way his gaze immediately drops to your slick heat, but you’re unable to speak, seeing the look that crosses his face. 

“Almost came in here, just to shut you up… didn’t want you waking up the entire house, and believe me, you were close. But I guess Daddy needs to pay the nanny a little attention too, huh?” 

Jensen ducks his head, but his eyes remain on yours as his lips press against your inner thigh, and his stubble prickles deliciously at your skin, when he slowly kisses and bites his way up to where you need him the most.

“Always get wet when I think about you, Jensen. I wish you had come in. I'm sure there are plenty of ways you could've shut me up, or made me louder,” you reveal quietly, feeling your heart jump in your chest when he sucks at your skin and drags his teeth over the mark you're sure he’s left behind.

"Oh baby girl, you have no idea just how many ways I’ve thought about doing it," he all but growls, his lips a mere breath away from your slick pussy. When the tip of his nose nudges against your clit and you can't hold back the whimper of pleasure.

He’s hardly touched you, and you could swear your body is about to catch fire. You have to stop the urge you have to clamp your thighs around his head, when he suddenly flattens his tongue and licks you from your entrance to your throbbing clit with a deep rumbling moan. Your hands fist in the sheets beside your hips when he starts fucking you with his tongue, his big calloused hands move to grip under the backs of your knees and he presses them back against your chest.

“Sonofa…” you gasp, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach, the words get stuck on the tip of your tongue, and the look in his eyes is about to be the death of you.

“Hold your legs back baby,” he instructs you huskily, pulling away just long enough to speak, before he’s back between your thighs, and his tongue is back inside you, sending you closer to the edge as he hits every spot perfectly.

You do as you’re told, wrapping your arms around your legs and holding them back, just as you toss your head back into the pillows and bite your lip. Desperately trying not to cry out like you need to. But then his fingers start to circle your clit, applying just the right amount of pleasure, moving in time with his tongue and you’re so fucking close to the edge that you feel delirious.

“Daddy, please. I’m so close,” you whine needily, you feel Jensen smirk against you and he withdraws his tongue, only to replace it with two thick fingers.

He eases the thick digits in teasingly, watching your body arch into his touch. 

“So fuckin’ sexy baby girl, so tight around my fingers. Can’t wait to feel this tight little cunt wrapped around my cock.”

You drop your legs and grip at the top of his hair harshly as he ducks his head again, and his lips wrap around your clit, everything is steadily becoming too much, and you have to slap your free hand over your mouth to stop your screams.

Jensen growls against your clit when your fingers tighten in his perfect mess of hair, sending vibrations shooting through every nerve and your hips arch closer, until they’re pressed down into the mattress by his strong arm. His fingers are moving fast and hard, scissoring and then curling at just the right times, you can feel his biceps bulging against your leg and stomach with the effort he’s putting in. 

“Gonna… oh God! Please!” you cry out behind your hand, as his tongue starts flicking at your clit in time with his fingers moving inside you. 

Your entire body goes stiff, attempting to arch as your orgasm smashes into you hard. You’re vaguely aware of his tongue lapping at everything you give, with a humming approval, as your body shakes violently beneath him, you’re not sure you’ve ever come that hard in your entire life. 

Before you know it he’s pulling away, and your eyes flutter open just in time to find Jensen flinging his boxers over his shoulder, with a cocky as hell smirk on those plump lips. Your eyes instinctively drop lower, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Your words accidentally tumble from your lips without there being any way to stop them.

“Is that gonna fit,” you swallow thickly, practically choking on the words, quickly catching yourself before you say any more you clamp your mouth closed, but you don’t miss Jensen’s smirk curling at the corners of his lips.

He moves over you, so that his body is covering yours, leaning on an elbow so his free hand can reach for your face. You feel like you can hardly breathe. The look he’s giving you is so intense, he lets his fingers slowly trail along your jaw, and then his thumb rests against your chin and your lips instinctively part.

“Oh, it’ll fit baby girl. Don’t you worry about that, we’re gonna make it,” he purrs, kissing the corner of your lips.

Before you can kiss him like you really want to, he backs off again, onto his knees between your parted thighs. He shuffles forward and drags your ass up onto his thighs, and takes his cock in his hand, his eyes roaming freely over your body as he starts to work his hand over himself. He taps his cock against your clit several times, and you bite your lip as you squirm beneath him, desperate for more, but you freeze when you feel the thick head of his cock pressing against your dripping entrance.

“Make it fit, Daddy,” you whimper, cupping your tits in your hands, and rolling your hardened nipples between your thumbs and forefingers.

“Oh, you just watch me, sweetheart.” He grabs your legs and pulls them against his solid chest, and his hands drop to your hips and you feel his fingers digging into your skin bruisingly.  

His jaw is clenched tightly as he eases the tip of his cock inside you. It’s extremely clear he isn’t used to going slowly, and if you’re honest you don’t want him to.

“Do it, fill me up. Just fuck me, I can take it Daddy, please. I don’t wanna wait any more.”

Jensen’s eyes lock with yours and he bites into his bottom lip, and the thick veins in his neck become more visible.

“No baby, you’re gonna take what I give you. So fuckin’ wet for me, I bet I could just slide right inside you if I wanted to, stuff you full in one thrust,” he grits out, like that’s exactly what he wants to do, but he’s clearly intent on torturing the both of you. You can feel your blood rushing in your ears as you look down your body at him and pout at him. 

You’re trying to push down onto him further, but Jensen’s grip on your hips is unyielding and bruising. 

“Jensen, please,” you beg pathetically, watching the way his eyes flick up from your pussy and lock on yours.

“No, Y/N. I want you to feel every fucking inch of my thick cock stretching out this tight little cunt,” his voice is practically a growl at this point, and you don’t remember ever being this turned on in your life. 

Your hands drop from your breasts to fist at the bedsheets beside your bodies, as Jensen starts to gently rock his hips, you notice the way his eyes are locked on his cock as he fucks into you teasingly slow. 

“Fuck, Jensen. Feels so good, your voice…” you gasp loudly, cutting yourself off as his hips snap against yours and he fills you completely.

“So fuckin’ tight and wet Y/N… shit. You like my dirty mouth, baby girl? You like hearing about how I’m gonna destroy this pussy, use your body for all it’s worth?” 

“Oh God, yes! Always did love your voice,” you pant out harshly between whimpers, feeling your heart hammering in your chest.

Jensen starts to thrust his hips, pulling out almost all of the way, before effortlessly sliding back inside you with a rumbling groan, picking up a steady rhythm that has you gasping for breath all over again. You can tell he’s holding back, but you can’t stop looking at him, or the sweat clings to his tanned skin. Noticing the way his arms bulge with his tight grip on your hips, his plump bottom lip caught between his teeth, and the look of complete pleasure which has overtaken his gorgeous features.

He looks back up to meet your eyes, “Yeah? You like being Daddy’s dirty little secret too?” he groans, his pace increasing, until you can hear the slapping of your skin against his echoing around the room. 

You can’t help the loud moan that leaves your lips, because fuck, you really do. Every precise thrust has him repeatedly hitting your G-spot. 

“Yes, oh God yes, I love being your dirty secret,” you cry out, louder than you mean to, feeling your orgasm beginning to burn hard in your stomach. Jensen shifts suddenly, until his body is over yours, keeping your legs pressed against his chest. 

Before you can let out a pleasured scream at the new angle, Jensen’s big hand covers your mouth. You can hardly think let alone breathe, he’s so deep inside you that every hard thrust has you sure you’ll feel his cock for a week.

Jensen’s head drops into the crook of your neck and shoulder, his breath hot against your skin, he turns slightly, until his plump lips are angled towards your ear.

“Good. Because I ain’t letting this pussy go now, princess. You’re. All. Fucking. Mine,” he grunts out, punctuating each word with a particularly hard and deep thrust. You nod several times, loving how possessive he’s being. He pulls back suddenly and his hand drops from your mouth to wrap around your throat.

“Say it,” he demands, eyes dark and dangerous.

Your pussy clenches hard around his cock and you moan his name, “all yours, Daddy. Only yours,” you manage to rasp out, squeezing your eyes closed as your climax threatens to explode.

“Good girl. Now, fucking look at me when you come all over my cock.” 

Your eyes snap open at his command, only to see the intense gaze in his eyes as he looks down at you. His cock is filling you perfectly, and he’s so deep, stretching you more than you’d ever been before, and you don’t ever want it to end, but you’re so close.

White hot pleasure clouds your vision when Jensen tilts his hips a little more, and those final thrusts throw you over the edge and into the oblivion of your orgasm. You faintly feel his grip tighten on your throat as you silently scream his name, only vaguely aware of him growling your name against your skin as he thrusts deep inside you and his body stills.

When you finally start to come down, you can feel your climax mixed with his leaking out around his cock. He’s still panting hard, and when you open your eyes he’s gently lowering your legs before he pulls out, with a soft moan of his own, and flops down on the mattress beside you.

“Jesus Christ,” you half laugh, turning on your side to face him.

“Fuck, princess, you can say that again,” Jensen sighs contentedly, throwing a strong arm over your waist and pulling you against him as he rolls onto his back.

You smile against his skin, pressing soft kisses above his wildly beating heart, enjoying how his fingers start combing through your hair, which was something that you definitely hadn’t expected from him. You bite your lip as you look up at him and you can’t help feel a little nervous, “you should probably get going, Jay, I don’t want you getting caught in here,” you all but whisper, as you start to remember he’s actually your married boss.

“Oh, so it’s Jay now, huh? No more Daddy, please?” Jensen smirks, brushing the tips of his fingers over the dip in your hip.

“Jensen, don’t tease me like that,” you tell him, barely above a whisper trying to hide the waver in your voice.

“I told you. I’m not letting you go now, sweetheart. Sleep for now, we’ll talk in the mornin’. Besides, like I said you’re all mine.” 

Bolded wouldn’t tag guys sorry!

All Tags:  @chewie-redbird @julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @stiles-o-dylan24 @mogaruke @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @dylanholyhellobrien @desireepow-1986 @lilulo-12 @22sarah08 @negans-lucille-tblr​ @cockslut-padalecki​ @deanwanddamons​ @simsadventures​  @charmed-asylum​ @nicole-lynne​ @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog​ @defenderrosetyler​ @emilyshurley​ @foxyjwls007​ @mylovelydame21​ @sunshineandwings86 @akshi8278​ @peaches007​ @stylesismyhubs​ @peachyyybabyy​ @fantasy-myth1​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @magssteenkamp​

Jensen/Dean Tags: @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @hobby27​ @littlelonewolfgirl @ladywinchester1967​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @maddiepants​ @spnfanfic-reblogs​ @holylulusworld​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @sonofabringmesomepie​ @deans-baby-momma​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @hhiggs​ @pisces-cutie​ @trina44sb @heartsaved​ @matsumama​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @beth-winchester21​ @doctor-hp-mcu​ @mrspeacem1nusone​ @fanddoms4love​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @nihilismworld​ @bxbyizzy @noobwuvsj2 @lyarr24​ @hearteyes-j2​

Pond Tags: @aprofoundbondwithdean​ @manawhaat​  @nichelle-my-belle​ @notnaturalanahi​ @deanscarlett​ @roxy-davenport​ @impala-dreamer​ @samsgoddess​ @frenchybell​ @scorpiongirl1​ @deandoesthingstome​ @deansleather​ @curliesallovertheplace​ @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname​ @waywardjoy​ @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious​ @kayteonline​ @supernatural-jackles​ @wevegotworktodo​ @quiddy-writes​ @babypieandwhiskey​ @supermoonpanda​ @deanwinchesterforpromqueen​ @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog​ @memariana91​ @teamfreewill-imagine​ @chelsea-winchester​ @becs-bunker​ @castieltrash1​ @supernaturalyobessed​ @ruined-by-destiel​ @winchester-writes​ @maraisabellegrey-blog​ @faith-in-dean​ @winchestersmolder​ @bennyyh​ @clueless-gold​ @deanwinchesterxreader​ @winchester-family-business​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @just-another-winchester​ @cas-backwards-tie​ @winecatsandpizza​ @firefly-in-darkness​

[sofreddie]

Nanny No More

Summary: Reader is The Ackles' nanny. She comes home to quite the surprise. It changes everything.

Characters: Jensen x Nanny!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 1,816

A/N: Written for @jerkbitchidjitassbutt. Thanks for the inspiration! GIF above is closest I could find to match the story, though it's not a shower really. 😉 And just in case - this is a work of fiction. No harm or hate intended towards any persons.

Y/N had just returned from dropping the kids off at a sleepover. She was their live-in nanny and had been for years since Jensen's wife had passed giving birth. Jensen was home on hiatus and his restlessness was driving everyone up the walls.

Her attention was drawn to the other room as she heard Jensen muttering and grunting. She curiously moved forward, worried for what she might find, only to be stopped dead in her tracks.

For one thing, there was a terrible leak in the ceiling. A pipe must have burst. But that wasn't what caught and held her attention.

Jensen was stood on a footstool, arms stretched above him as he was attempting to repair the leak. His t-shirt rode up, exposing a bit of his stomach and buckled jeans. His t-shirt clung to him like a second skin, the water leaking from the pipe having gradually soaked through his clothing.

He lowered his arms, grunting in frustration. He quickly removed the soaked t-shirt, using it to wipe off his face, before tossing it aside and getting back to work.

Y/N's jaw dropped open as she watched the muscles in his arms and back flexing and glistening. She reflexively squeezed her thighs together, feeling a sudden, overwhelming swell of desire.

She'd always found him attractive. She'd be blind not to. But even though she had lived with him for so long, it was like a respectful roommate sort of situation. She was the nanny after all.

Seeing him like this…well, this was new.

Suddenly, bits of the ceiling fell down upon Jensen as the hole opened wider, more water spilling forth in a gush. Jensen was drenched head-to-toe. He managed to reach up and find the shut off, stopping the flood of water, albeit a bit late.

He looked like he just got out of the shower, jeans and all. He was literally dripping with water, strands of his hair hanging down into his face. He huffed before finally noticing Y/N standing there.

"Oh, hey," he smiled, that charming and bright smile that was now making her flutter, "Sorry about the mess," he laughed, gesturing around himself.

She still couldn't move, couldn't speak. Her eyes were trailing over every inch of him as she bit her lip, squeezing her thighs once more, tighter than before.

Jensen's eyes shot over her movements, catching her wandering gaze, her bitten lips, and the not-so-subtle neediness she was emanating. He wasn't a fool. He knew exactly what she was thinking.

He'd been thinking about this very thing for a while now. Jared had encouraged him. But Y/N was a good friend and the nanny and she never showed an interest in all the time she had been with them.

He wasn't about to let this opportunity slip.

He took several slow steps towards her, his eyes trained on hers, "See something you like?" he teased. Her breath hitched. The tension between them filled the room. She wanted to jump his bones right then and there. When he licked that plump bottom lip of his into his mouth she just about sprung on him.

Then she remembered why she hadn't let herself do anything before. She was the nanny. If things went wrong...she loved the kids and didn't want to see them hurt or confused. In the end, she chickened out.

"Y-you should probably go shower," she cleared her throat, breaking the gaze between them and gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder as she took slow retreating steps, "I'll go call a plumber."

She turned and dashed so quick. Jensen was cursing himself under his breath. He knew she wanted him. There was no question about that now. But something was holding her back.

He took himself upstairs to shower. He stripped out of the remaining wet clothes and dropped them in a heap to the floor with a squelch. The hot water soothed his aching muscles and washed away the grime.

It wasn't long before his mind wandered back to Y/N downstairs, staring at him hungrily, clenching her thighs. Gen had told him to ask her out on a date, Jared said just go for it. But her body and reaction was making it hard to think straight.

His hand wandered down his body, wrapping around his fully erect cock. He sighed a little in relief at the pressure, before he began stroking himself. This had become routine at this point, jerking off in the shower with Y/N's image in his mind and her name on his lips.

After he came, he quickly finished his shower, feeling less tense than before. He was formulating a way to ask her out and gauge her interest as he made his way back downstairs.

Much like Y/N earlier, he was stopped in his tracks. Y/N was bent over on the floor, her ass in the air as she cleaned up the mess on the floor. He was instantly hard again, as if the shower never even happened.

A groan punched past his lips, catching her attention. She looked over her shoulder at him, smiling sweetly, before rising from her spot on the floor, tossing away some of the mess.

She's a little dirty and her clothes are a little damp in spots, but he's wound so tight and he thinks she only looks even better. He'd love to help her out of those filthy clothes. Maybe with his teeth.

"Can I kiss you?" he suddenly blurted out as he took several steps to stand directly in front of her. He hadn't meant to say it, but in that moment it was all he could think or want.

All his plans flew out the window.

His eyes looked her over fondly as he brushed the hair back from her face, "Can I kiss you?" he asked again. She stood in dumbfounded silence, heart racing. She tried to speak but her throat was closed. Instead, she nodded minutely. He smirked slightly before leaning in pressing his lips to hers.

He instantly felt fireworks explode between them, like nothing he had ever felt before. He tugged her closer to him, his hands finding her lower back. She too was feeling the intensity, swooning under his command.

Everything began to work up quickly, their bodies demanding more from each other. Jensen turned and backed her against the closest wall. His knee found its way between her legs, his thigh pressing against her core.

She moaned loudly into the kiss and Jensen eagerly swallowed it down. Their bodies ground together, their kisses and hands growing desperate. It had been ages since either one of them had been with someone.

"I want you," he breathed out against her lips, barely parting from her and hating even the minute distance required to speak, "Want you in my bed. Wanted you there forever," his lips grazed down her jaw and neck as he pressed himself tightly against her.

"Yes," she hissed out in a breath. He moaned loudly, before scooping her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He dashed up the stairs with her in his arms, surprising her with his strength.

His muscles were more than just show.

He took her directly to his bedroom, closing the door shut behind them. He didn't let her down until they were standing at the foot of his bed.

"You sure this is what you want?" he checked with her again. He had to be sure. If she didn't want this, or might regret it later, then he'd rather not do it.

"Are you?" she blurts out hesitantly.

He grinned broadly, his eyes sparkling, "If I could have it my way, you'd never leave my bed again."

She crashed into him, stealing his breath with her kisses. The urgency picked up once more and they were quickly naked and lying on the bed together.

Then his words truly settled in her mind. Her breath hitched as she met his eyes. Without words he could feel things shift between them. Everything slowed as the mood shifted.

She could feel his passion and want with every kiss laid to her bare skin. She could feel him laying claim with every moan she gave to every mark he left.

When his head sank between her legs, she thought she'd died and gone to Heaven. It took him no time at all to quickly learn her spots and he proceeded to slowly work her into a frenzy.

Just as she was about to reach her peak, he stopped. She groaned and looked down at him. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. His lips were swollen and wet, his hair a mess from her fingers tugging on it.

"Wanna feel it the first time I make you come," he breathed out, working his way up her body. At some point he had slipped a condom on. She was too out of her mind to have noticed. He ground himself against her wet and twitching folds and she nearly screamed.

"Please, Jen, please," she nearly sobbed, desperate for her release, desperate for him. She had dreamed of this moment for so long. Her want and desire had morphed into utter need.

He locked away the sounds of her sweet pleading for another time. He was ready to give her what she needed. What they both needed.

He kissed her deep, letting her taste herself on his tongue as he slowly entered her. When he finally reached the hilt, pressed as deep as he could go, they both gasped.

Jensen moved slow and languidly, making them both savor every movement, every touch, every thrust like a fine meal. There was nothing but pleasure, but he was skillfully keeping them both back from that edge, drawing out the connection between them.

He paused from his ministrations of marking her neck with his mouth to look her in the eyes. He cupped her face, adjusted his hips, and began to thrust a little faster and harder while holding her gaze.

She could feel herself cresting, the edge just out of reach. Jensen felt amazing inside her, around her. Better than any dream she could have conjured.

She was pretty sure she was in love with him.

At the realization, she climaxed hard. Her eyes clenched shut in sync with her walls clenching around his cock. Jensen cried out her name, following her over the edge.

He continued to pump into her, working them both through their highs. After catching their breath, Jensen slowly pulled out and discarded the condom, before returning to the bed.

He laid on his back and scooped an arm around Y/N's shoulders, bringing her to half lay across him.

Tomorrow they'd deal with the plumber, the mess and the kids returning from their sleepover. They'd figure everything out. But for now, there was this and the start of something amazing.

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

RPF:

@smoothdogsgirl

JENSEN TAGS:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Love You Too (Part 2)

Summary: As Jensen struggles to juggle solo parenting, Y/N becomes a safe place for him so he can be more present for his children. The more time he spends with her though, the more he has to deal with if he can or even should love again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jenssen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 7,200ish

Warnings: language, angst, death of a spouse, lying, mentions of injury/death of a spouse/death of a parent, internal turmoil

A/N: Please enjoy all the torture I put poor Jensen through in this one!

______

“Hey, Jensen,” said Y/N the next day when she came back with her things to move in. I popped my head up from waxing Baby in the garage, Y/N giving me a smile.

“Hey. I got your house keys, credit card, garage door opener and sensor for the gate all set in your room,” I said.

“Thanks,” she said, opening the backseat of her car and pulling out a duffel. “Cool car.”

“Yes she is. Do you need help moving anything?” I asked. She shook her head and put the duffel over her shoulder, taking out a large suitcase and backpack before shutting the door. “If you need to make more trips you’re more than welcome to borrow the SUV.”

“Oh this is it,” she said with a smile, walking past and for the the garage door. She must have caught my face before I could make it blank, a little smirk appearing on hers. “I travel light.”

“Alright. If you need help with anything-”

“I got it Jensen,” she said. “But thanks. I’m just going to try and familiarize myself with everything today so I’m ready to go in the morning.”

“But you don’t-”

“You said you’re an actor?” she asked. I nodded and she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Do you wait until you show up on set to read a script or do you do that before hand?”

“Fair point,” I said. She headed inside and I went back to Baby, JJ coming a short while later looking for her chalk bucket. 

“Dad,” she said, bucket in hand as I finished up on the hood. “Will you play with us?”

“As soon as I’m done with chores,” I said, tossing the rag in the bucket and placing the bottle back in the cupboard on the top shelf. She picked up the half full jug of wiper fluid and I quickly snatched it out of her hand. “JJ. You are not supposed to touch anything in this cabinet and you know that. It’s dangerous.”

“I just wanna help you,” she said.

“I don’t need any help.”

“I wish you died instead of mom,” she said. She took off out to the driveway, Y/N walking back out to the garage at that exact moment.

“Jensen she didn’t mean that,” said Y/N as I put the jug away and grabbed a pair of work gloves from the bench. “You know how kids are.”

“They’d be better off with her than me. I know that’s true,” I said. I put on the gloves, Y/N walking around the car over to me. “Do you need something?”

“Why don’t I take the kids to the park for an hour? I’ll watch them. You take care of you, okay?”

“She’s seven. I know she didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah but dad needs to get his shit together after a comment like that. I’ve been in her shoes and believe me, all she wants is the parent she has left to be there. That’s all she wants.”

“I thought your dad…” I trailed off. She looked away and I nodded. “I’ll take the kids. I can ask the lawn service people to add a few things to their list.”

“What chores did you have left?” she asked. 

“Y/N, you start work tomorrow.”

“Jensen. What’s my job?”

“Take care of the kids.”

“Exactly. Me helping you going to play with your children, especially when one of them is upset right now, is my job. That takes care of them. Now what chores did you need to get done?”

“Water the outside bushes and plants. Prep lunches for school and daycare, snacks for the week.”

“Well I will handle the meal prep tomorrow morning. Point me in the direction of the hose and then I want to see your four tushes out of this house and coming back in a little while with smiles. Okay?”

“I’m gonna pay you for today,” I said. 

“Alright. Now go,” she said. 

“I owe you one.”

“Shoo Jensen,” she said. I took off the gloves and held up my hands. Fifteen minutes later the twins were rushing over to the playground to play with a friend from daycare that just so happened to be there and I was unfolding the blanket on the grass. “Do you want to play with me honey?” I asked. JJ stood there grumpily, shaking her head. “Why not?”

“You don’t want to play with me,” she said. She sat down and put her back to me, staring at the playground. I leaned over and picked her up, falling back on the ground and holding her up above me. 

“We can play-” I said before she squirmed and I dropped her. Straight onto my hip. I bit back every word threatening to slip out, JJ kneeling beside me as my face scrunched up.

“Dad?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” I breathed out. I forced myself to sit up, JJ hugging me tightly. 

“I’m sorry. I hurt your hip.”

“It’s alright. We have to be careful of it still is all,” I said, the pain fading away quickly. She still clung to me and I pulled her into my lap, kissing her temple. A woman walking by gave me a weird look and paused. “What’s your problem?”

She scoffed and took off, JJ quiet for a few minutes.

“Dad. There’s a police officer with that lady,” she said. I looked back over my shoulder, spotting a cop walk over to us. 

“Afternoon,” he said. 

“Hello,” I said, standing up, JJ tucking in close to my side. “Is there a problem?”

“Is this your daughter?” he asked. I glanced at the woman back on the path and gave her a glare. “Sir.”

“Yes I’m her father,” I sighed. “Those two twins over on the playground are mine too.”

“Do you have a photo sir?” he asked. I reached behind myself and got out my wallet, pulling out a picture and holding it out. “Is this the children’s mother?”

“Yes.” 

“Dad what’s going on?” asked JJ.

“A misunderstanding, honey,” I said. “Go play on the swings. I’ll be over in just a second.”

“Is this your father?” he asked her. She scowled and stepped in front of me. He knelt down and smiled. “What’s your name sweetie?”

“JJ. I want to go play with my dad.”

“I know. I just have to make sure kids like you are safe. It’s part of my job.”

“You suck at your job,” she said.

“JJ. Apologize,” I said.

“He’s being mean!”

“He’s doing his job. Apologize,” I said. She mumbled a sorry, the officer nodding as he stood up. 

“You can go play now JJ,” said the officer. She grumbled and went over to the swings when I waved her, the officer nodding. “You were seen hugging a small child. This was a welfare check on the child is all.”

“Am I free to go?” I sighed.

“Sorry for the inconvenience sir,” he said. 

“You know single fathers exist,” I said to the woman. The cop spun around and narrowed his eyes.

“You said the children’s mother was in the photo.”

“Yes she is. That photo is the last one I have of us all before she was killed in a car accident last year. Ackles. I’m sure you can look up the accident report,” I said.

“Have a good day sir,” he said. I turned around and ran my hands over my face, JJ suddenly at my side and hugging me again, two smaller pairs of arms joining her. I looked down, all three of them there and hugging my legs.

I took a deep breath. I was okay. I was okay.

“Come on. Let’s go have some fun on the swings.”

“Jesus,” I said, jumping up from my chair on the balcony that night. I walked over to the edge and looked down, Jared mid swing of another bean bag being tossed up there. “Calm down. I surrender.”

“Answer your fucking phone,” he said. I rolled my eyes and I got smacked in the face with a bag. 

“Jared! I’ll call your mom!” I shouted.

“You deserved that. I heard you had a run in with a cop earlier.”

“TMZ tell you that?”

“No. Our friend. Our friend who found out someone in his department was looking up Dee’s accident report. He found out what happened at the park and now I know and you’re being an asshole hiding away up there ignoring my texts.”

“How am I an asshole? It was no big deal. You’re the one breaking into people’s garages and smacking them in the face with their kid’s toys.”

“Because you promised me yesterday, asshole, you weren’t going to lie to me again. It wasn’t no big deal. You’re upset. I’m upset for you! Worst thing is it’ll probably happen again. I just…”

“The cop was doing his job. I just need to spend more time with the kids. Not doing chores or crap for them but being with them. Playing with them. It’s fucking getting to JJ and that kid tears my heart apart more and more every time I see her hurting like that. She grew up too fucking fast and the twins...they might not even remember their mom.”

“Jensen.”

“The things I say and do…they are children. They should never have to hear me say I don’t need help or think I’m too busy to play with them.”

“But you have been too busy and you do play with them. And you got help. She’s inside right now. Tomorrow you start fresh. You have help. You can be more of dad again instead of mom and dad. They’re tough kids. Don’t worry so much.”

“I know,” I said. I leaned against the railing and sighed. 

“Want me to come up?” he asked.

“I need to try and sleep. Y/N’s probably going to get an early start and have questions in the morning.”

“Okay. Call if you need something.”

“Night,” I said.

“Night,” he waved and I headed back inside. It was close to midnight as I locked up, checking the doors and alarm system one more time. The lights looked to be off in Y/N’s room but that was expected. I skirted upstairs quietly, checking everyone’s room, pausing at Arrow’s when she made a whimper. It was probably a nightmare. Thankfully they didn’t seem to bother her as much as Zeppelin and JJ. 

I pulled her door shut and went down to my room, closing the door softly, grabbing Danneel’s hoodie and putting it on before crawling under the covers in a pair of boxer briefs. I tugged up the hood and pulled the covers up, rolling into the middle of the bed. 

“Please let tomorrow be better. Please.”

“Good morning,” said Y/N, already drinking a cup of coffee and dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain maroon v neck when I walked downstairs. I yawned, no idea how she was already so together at six in the morning.

“Morning,” I mumbled. She had her hair up in a cute messy bun and I looked down at myself. Hair a hot mess and only in a pair of black boxer briefs. “I should probably put on some clothes.”

“This is your house. Wear whatever you normally would. Pretend I’m invisible,” she said. She poured me a cup of coffee into a mug, handing it over with a smile.

“Sounds like you worked for some real assholes,” I said, taking the cup. “As long as it doesn’t bother you, me walking around in my undies.”

“No, not at all,” she said with a little smile. I could have sworn for a second she looked me up and down but that was wishful thinking on my part. I wasn’t in shape like Jared and never would be was but I was fairly decent for being almost 43 years old I liked to think. Still, a very recently thirty year old was probably not thinking someone in their forties was the epitome of hotness. 

Epitome of hotness. Fucking hell. This is fucking worse than when I started falling in love with Dee and that was at least mutual.

“Would you like me to drop the kids off at school and daycare this morning?”

“Sure,” I said, popping my head up and away from what constituted as attractive to thirty year old women these days. “Car keys are on the table by the garage.”

“Okay great. I’m used to driving that kind of SUV,” she said. She seemed busy with making up food so I slipped past her quietly and got out the eggs and tossed a few into a pan. I washed up quickly and got out two pieces of bread, buttering each side and setting it down to wait for the eggs to finish. I yawned and stretched out, Y/N spinning around, staring smack dab at me. I quickly wrapped my arms around myself, shaking my head as I went back to the pan. “Would you like me to make lunch for you as well?”

“No thank you. I’m getting lunch with my manager today. You don’t have to make me coffee in the morning either, Y/N. Your job is to take care of the kids, not me,” I said. She rolled her eyes and I cocked my head.

“A cup of coffee is not difficult, Jensen. My job is to help you so if I can make dad’s life a smidge easier it’ll make theirs better too,” she said with a smile.

“You’re not like, a morning person are you,” I said, chuckling as she shook her head. “I don’t do peppy in the morning.”

“Oh no. I’m always a little nervous when I start a new job. I’ll get a rhythm down soon,” she said as I saw the eggs set.

“So what do you normally do once the kids are dropped off?” I asked, pulling a spatula out of the container on the counter.

“On a weekday I’ll review their schedule, see if anything different is going on. An average day like today I will clean their rooms, their bathroom, do some laundry while they’re at school, maybe some shopping. I’ll pick up the twins, bring them home for lunch, a little playtime, a nap. We’ll have some quiet time and maybe a craft or coloring before we get JJ from school. Then I’ll give them all a snack, we can get outside and play to get some energy out. I’ll help JJ with any schoolwork she has while the twins play and then I will start on dinner about the time you’ll be getting home. Since you have no plans currently tonight I’ll leave you guys be at that point until tomorrow unless you ask me for help.”

I blinked, opening my mouth and staring for a solid five seconds while she kept working on making baggies of snacks.

“So when do you take a break?” I asked.

“Naptime. I’ll have lunch with the twins. Don’t worry about me Jensen. That’s my normal plan but if you would like me to run some errands in the morning I can.”

“No, no. Just…” I trailed off. She really didn’t get why she was here, did she? “I still want to make them breakfast and dinner and play with them too is all.”

“We’ll figure out the right mix of things,” she said. “You just gotta tell me is all, okay? It can vary day to day too.”

“Yeah,” I said, taking the fried egg out of the pan and placing it on one piece of bread. I put the other piece on top and made a sandwich, taking a big bite. I let out a quiet sigh. I didn’t want her to do everything. Just help. But where was that fucking line? I was either going to do too much or too little and fuck everything up again. I felt her staring as I looked out the back window, taking another bite of food. “I never asked. How was your birthday?”

“Hm?” she hummed, a glance over my shoulder catching her dropping some carrots into a reusable bag.

“On Saturday you said it was your 30th. You do anything fun that night?” I asked with a soft smile. I dared to spin back around, her back to me while she worked. She probably went out with friends, got drinks. 

Maybe picked up a guy.

I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop fucking thinking about her like that.

“I got a new job. That was the highlight of my day,” she said as she spun around, my head quickly snapping up before she noticed. I couldn’t help but cock it though. It was her birthday. Her thirtieth. She was beautiful. How was getting another nanny job the highlight of it? Maybe she felt self-conscious about it. No idea why, she looked amazing. “I ordered pizza, binged netflix. My normal Saturday routine.”

“I know everybody jokes about 30 but it’s really just jokes. Wait until you’re 42,” I chuckled, Y/N smiling. “Then you really feel old.”

“Most 42 year olds would kill to look like you,” she said. She shut your eyes and shook her head but I smiled when she looked away. Maybe I wasn’t so bad after all. “I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate.”

“It’s alright. I took it as a compliment,” I said. She looked embarrassed and I cleared my throat, taking a bite of food. “So you did nothing for your birthday, huh?”

“Uh, no,” she said, mixing in some grapes into each of the snack bags. I frowned and popped the last piece of food into my mouth. Why didn’t she celebrate? Not even a slice of cake? A little lightbulb went off in my head and I started to smile, Y/N giving me a strange look.

“I’m gonna get you a birthday cake,” I said. She looked mortified and started to shake her head but I held up a hand.

“Mr. Ackles-”

“I thought I said it’s Jensen. I’m the boss so what I say goes. We’re gonna have a birthday cake for you tonight. So. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Whatever you want is perfectly fine.” I rolled my eyes and groaned, swearing I caught a quick smile on her face.

“Y/N.”

“…I like red velvet,” she said. I broke out into a huge smile and laughed. Of course. Of fucking course she said red velvet.

“That was my wife’s favorite,” I said. “Haven’t had that since her birthday. She would have liked you.”

“You think so?” she asked. I took a deep breath and felt calm for a moment, nodding back at her.

“Yeah. You’re quite kind to me. She was always protective of me, even if she was the scaredy cat most of the time.”

“Can I ask how…” she said. The calm quickly left and I swallowed. I told her died unexpectedly in a car accident right? Or just died unexpectedly? No, I said car. Right. Car accident. Fuck, why’d I have to start saying she died in her sleep too. Because that made more sense than the fucking brain aneurysm while driving but that was our shitty luck...she’s staring idiot. Talk. Now.

“Accident. Tractor trailer versus her car. He tried to miss her but it was too late. I wanted to hate the guy too but it was an accident and I couldn’t blame him for that.”

“My father died in a car crash when I was six. It does get better with time,” she said.

“That’s why you didn’t know if he had a picture of you in his wallet or not,” I said as she nodded. She looked away and I shuddered at the thought the kids wouldn’t know things about their mother. “You’re too young to have that much tragedy in life.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not young anymore.”

“You’re young and overly generous,” she said with a smile. She was being polite. Or maybe not. Either way I’d take it.

“Misery loves company,” I said as we both heard a few feet above us running around. “Munchkins are up.”

“You want to make breakfast or should I?” she asked.

“Give me five minutes to get them in some clean clothes. Then I can show you how they like their eggs.”

“Sounds like a plan, Jensen.”

I headed upstairs, catching Zeppelin chasing Arrow up and down the hall, both of them giggling before stopping at my feet.

“Daddy you’re all smiley,” said Arrow. I looked down and shook my head, her eyes lighting up. “Yes you are!”

“It must be because you two are going to run off and get dressed this morning all by yourselves,” I said. They shared a look, that twin look, and both took off running with slightly evil laughs. “I fear the day you two are teenagers.”

“Good morning,” yawned JJ, walking out of her room dressed and giving me a hug. 

“Good morning,” I said, bending down and picking her up, giving her a squeezing hug.

“Okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. Daddy’s okay today,” I said, a thud and Zeppelin running back crying. “What hurts buddy?”

“I don’t know,” he said as I squatted down with JJ on my good hip, picking him up and settling him on the other.

“Well, that’s okay. Sometimes you just gotta cry it out,” I said. He made a face but I smiled, his confusion getting him to calm down by the time Arrow was running down the hall. 

“Daddy,” she groaned. I chuckled and spun around, Arrow climbing up on my back. 

“Who needs a workout when you got a hundred pounds on your back,” I said. “Alright, alright. We can have breakfast in pajamas today. I want you guys on your best behavior for Y/N okay? She’s new and has a lot to learn still, like your favorite eggs.”

“Hot sauce,” said JJ.

“That’s my girl,” I chuckled, feeling her hug me hard for a split second. I kissed the top of her head and went back towards the stairs. “Alright. Who’s hungry?”

“Hey handsome,” I heard as I was walking through the parking lot. I spun around, sighing as Jared walked over with a laugh. 

“Why must you do that?” I sighed.

“Cause seeing that look on your face is funny,” he said, looking me up and down. “Heading in?”

“Finished up for the day. More Batman, some video game and my manager wanted me to record an audition for some animated movie. You?”

“Walker dubbing. Again,” he said. “You’re not going strictly voice acting on me are you?”

“No. Just was kinda easy to do that while I was recovering. Drive downtown, record, drive home.”

“Excited for The Boys?”

“Yeah. Nervous. I never really made a final decision on what to do with the kids. My parents offered to stay at the house and watch them.” Jared cleared his throat and I smiled. “I know you offered too. But I just…”

“I know. You thought things were different when you took the job,” said Jared. “When The Boys is over you know I could get you a recurring guest start spot on Walker. Like anytime.”

“I know,” I shrugged, rubbing my arm. “It’s your show though. I mean we literally ended Supernatural last year. I don’t want to butt in.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. I rolled mine, Jared grabbing my arm, walking between the cars with me. “You are really starting to scare me.”

“Because I want to give you space and let your show be your show? Dude, relax. I didn’t say I don’t want to. I can’t wait to work with you again. But the show is new and it’s your baby right now. I’ll be on someday, I promise.”

“I just-”

“I know. But I have ideas and projects and losing Dee changed things. Maybe I do want to be able to work at home in Austin more. But let me figure that out first?”

“Fine,” grumbled Jared.

“Hey. I’ll make you a deal. I will absolutely direct in season 2 and maybe I can do a guest spot or two if you and me sit down sometime this year and brainstorm that reboot mini-series for like five years from now. Deal?”

“I was gonna do that anyways,” said Jared with a big smile, holding out his hand. I shook it, getting a quick hug. “How’s the hot nanny?”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing him away but smiling. 

“You still like her?”

“Honestly? I think I’m in deep shit.”

“Good,” he said. “I like that dumb fucking smile on your face.”

“I bought her a birthday cake. Is that weird?”

“Not unless it’s not here birthday.”

“It was on Saturday but she didn’t celebrate for some reason.”

“No, not weird then,” he said. “Find out if she’s single yet?”

“Not a clue.”

“Find out tonight buddy.”

“I’ll try. I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later Jackles.”

“Thanks for giving up your night with them. I didn’t mean to have that happen,” I said after Y/N finished reading the kids a bedtime story. 

“It’s no problem. It’s good bonding for us,” she said as we headed back downstairs to the kitchen. She helped pick up the plates at the table and wash them off before sticking them in the dishwasher. She looked a little tired but for some reason that made her look even prettier. I swallowed and went over to the tall cabinet and reach up top, grabbing a bottle of whiskey as Y/N covered up what was left of the cake. 

“Drink?” I asked. She smiled and pinched her fingers close to each other.

“A small one,” she said. I poured a single into a whiskey glass for her, smirking when she took a sip and made a face. “Oh that’s smooth.”

“Very,” I said, pouring my own glass. “Thank you for tonight. JJ’s been…”

“She’s the oldest. She’s gonna have a harder time with it.”

“You were about her age when your dad died you said?” I asked. She nodded and took a deep breath.

“She’ll be okay. She’ll miss her but it won’t be a deep pain. She’ll have nice memories of her mom. She’s doing pretty good, trust me.”

“Can I ask another personal question?”

“I’m off the clock. Shoot,” she said.

“Your mom ever…try again with someone else?” She waited a beat but smiled, nodding a few times.

“Yes. Years later she found a good guy. He actually is who I stayed with after she passed. He’s married now, has some kids of his own but I know if I call him up he’d drop everything for me.”

“Good. I was getting afraid you were a complete Shakespeare tragedy,” I chuckled. Whew. At least she had somebody out there to watch her back if she needed it.

“Nah. I’m not at that level of crazy in my life,” she said. “As long as we’re off the clock, can I ask if you’re asking because you’re thinking of getting back out there?”

I took a drink and smiled. Still perceptive. Still adorable. But her face looked gentler almost, like she’d drop it in a second if I asked.

“I am. My wife kind of insisted on it. When we first got serious we had this deal that we’d go try again if something happened. I mean, I don’t cry everytime I think about her now. I can smile and be happy and that ache doesn’t try to swallow me up everyday anymore. I think it’s time I could get back out there.”

“I’d say it is. The kids are ready. They’ll understand.”

“You think your mom loved the second guy as much as your dad?”

“For sure. She was a bit of a free spirit but she didn’t think you had to have just one soulmate. She told me that after she’d met Ray. She said she got two so maybe I had two out there. I haven’t found either one of them yet so I’ll take increasing my odds as best I can.”

Oh. Oh God she’s single.

Yes!

Fucking yes! I swallowed, thinking what she’d just said and grinned. Two soulmates. I kind of liked the sound of that.

“Well you’re not gonna meet your soulmate sitting at home on Saturday nights, Y/N.” I said, clearing my throat.

“Just a lot of douchey guys,” she said.

“Ah. You need to meet a better kind of guy is all.”

“Yeah see I’m thirty. All the good guys are married by now.”

“Oh all of them are taken. I didn’t realize that,” I said with a chuckle. “What am I then? Another douchebag?”

“You don’t count. You’re…”

“Too old for you?” I laughed nervously. Oh how the hell any woman had ever gone out with me was a miracle. I was a fucking wreck at this.

“My boss. Plus you’re like famous. You can go get like a victoria secret model or something.”

“Looks ain’t everything.” 

“Maybe I ought to try older guys now that you say that,” she said. I took another sip and let it burn in the back of my throat. Go slow idiot. Test the waters a bit.

“Y/N, you gotta be careful with that. I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of.”

“And this is why I watch netflix on Saturday nights,” you said.

“You serious about the older guy crack?” I asked.

“I do find them more…attractive sometimes. I guess it depends on how old. Why?”

Maybe she was looking me up and down that morning...maybe.

“I got a friend my age, might be interested?” I asked, hiding behind a smile. Why the fuck did I say that? All I wanted to know was if she’d consider someone older, not that.

“I don’t know,” she said. “No offense to your friend but…I mean if he’s 42…I want kids and stuff you know? Although a dude it doesn’t really matter how old…I don’t know.”

“It was just a thought,” I said. I took another sip but she was smiling. Okay. Maybe that wasn’t two old for her.

“I’ll think about it,” she said. “He’s not a weirdo, right.”

“No. He’s an actor. Something to think about.”

“I will,” she said, sounding like she meant it. “Thank you for the birthday cake, Jensen. You’re a good person.”

“I bought a cake.” She looked down and finished off her drink, the air heavy for a few seconds, her body tense before it relaxed. 

“Yeah but I haven’t really had one of those in years. You’re a good person.”

“You’re very welcome,” I said as she slid off her seat. “You’re free to hang out if you like.”

“I’m kinda tired. I won’t be getting up that early from now on I don’t think.”

“I completely understand. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jensen.” She headed down the hall to her room and I put the liquor away, checking the hallway after a beat, her door shut. I wanted to give her a hug but that was crossing a line. 

“Daddy,” said Arrow, walking down into the kitchen. I turned and smiled, walking back over. “Can I have a little milk?”

“Okay but just a little. Want it warmed up?” I asked. She hummed and I poured her a small glass in one of her sippie cups, heating it up before popping on the lid and handing it over. “Back to bed now.”

“Why didn’t Y/N’s mommy and daddy get her a birthday cake?” she asked.

“Y/N’s parents aren’t around anymore munchkin. She lost her mommy and daddy when she was a kid too.”

“Oh,” she said softly, pausing by the bottom of the stairs. She stared, the gears grinding in her head. She’d only been three at the time but she actually understand strangely enough what it meant that mom was gone. Zeppelin was the hard case to crack but she somehow explained it to him and one day it clicked for him too. 

“Honey?” I asked, squatting down beside her. 

“Does mommy know Y/N’s parents now?” she asked.

“Maybe,” I said with a smile, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“I hope so.”

“Me too. Go on up to bed now. I’ll race you.” She took off with her cup and I smirked when she got to the top of the stairs. “That one never fails.”

“You think I’m hot,” I said to myself the next day. I hummed as I walked into the bathroom, sweating after working out. Y/N was hopefully enjoying her break. I grinned, looking at myself in the mirror and ripping my shirt off. “She was so staring. She was so staring.”

I started to undress, whistling before I turned on the water, catching myself in the mirror again. My eyes landed on the scar and I quickly looked away, getting under the stream.

“Stop acting like a fucking idiot. She doesn’t even...of course she’d stare. I stare at good looking sweaty men of course she would too.” I sighed and sat down on the shower bench, putting my head in my hands. “Dee tell me what to do. Please. Make me forget this girl exists.”

“Jensen! I’m going to the store!” called Y/N through the closed bedroom door.

“Drive safe!” I shouted back. I lifted my head and stood up, pursing my lips. “Gonna make me figure this out on my own, aren’t you.”

I tilted my head back under the water, swallowing thickly. 

“Jensen! I just took a shower!” said Dee, smiling when I pulled her flush to me. 

“Take another one,” I said, kissing her soft lips, her hands resting on my hips and squeezing them. “Bed.”

“The kids have to go to camp in less than-”

“Fine,” I groaned, throwing my head back. I jumped when she slapped my ass, slipping out of the shower.

“I’ll play with you later,” she teased. She grinned as she used my towel to dry off before she went back to her vanity to do her makeup quickly. 

“Dee?”

“Because I’m over forty and you know how some of the moms are. Fucking little vultures,” she said, putting on some mascara. 

“I didn’t say anything,” I hummed.

“You were thinking it.”

“That you’re hot without makeup? Oh no. I wasn’t thinking that at all,” I said, giving her a bitchface. “Are you ever going to stop giving a fuck what other people think?”

“No,” she sighed. “But I am better.”

“I know. You sure you don’t want to shower with me?” I asked, jutting out my lip. She smiled and winked. “Dee.”

“Later sweetie. I promise.”

I looked over to the empty vanity. That was the last morning she stood there. Fucking worried about looking put together enough for the carpool line. I breathed deeply, looking at the pile of sweaty clothes on the floor, Y/N popping into my head.

“I like her Dee. I really fucking like her. I don’t know what to do.”

Three Days Later

“Hey,” said Jared, already out front of his when I got there. “Everything cool?”

“No,” I said. “Drink?”

He waved and I followed him around to the back table, Jared leaving and returning after a moment with a bottle and two glasses.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. I took a long sip and sighed.

“Y/N got hurt tonight.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine. A scrape. But Jared...this is not a crush. I’m positive of it.”

“Didn’t we already establish that?” I turned my head and glared, Jared giving it right back. “Dude. What are you asking? Permission?”

“No. I don’t need anyone’s permission to date someone.”

“So I take it Y/N is in fact single.” I nodded, Jared leaning back in his chair. “Jensen. Dee can’t tell you that it’s okay. You have to trust that she’d want you to be happy again.”

“I know she does but...it feels wrong. I feel like I’m cheating on her with another woman.”

“Have you told Y/N-”

“No. As far as she’s concerned I’m just her nice boss. Jesus Jare, this poor girl has had a more fucked up life than me easily and she’s so nice and kind and I can’t throw my shit on top of her.”

“Jensen. How old were you when you started to date Dee?” he asked.

“Twenty nine ish. Why?”

“So for twenty nine years before that you were on your own. You dated other people but no one that you loved like that. Do you really want to go another twenty nine years, more than that, on your own?”

“I want my wife back.”

“Spit out what you’re spiraling over. What, you think Dee will love you less if you love another woman?”

“I’m not having this discussion with you.” I stood up, Jared catching my wrist. I tugged on it, Jared getting to his feet and staring me down. “Move.”

“I know you’re not used to being the one with the problems. I know I’m the one always screwing up and always needing you to take care of me but I’m the one in charge this time. Now sit your ass down and talk or I swear to God I will call up every member of your family right now and tell them you haven’t seen a damn therapist at all.”

“Don’t threaten me,” I growled.

“I say we call them anyways. You’re the one that to this day continues to check that Jared doesn’t miss therapy,” said Gen, shoving a bowl of chips on the table when she stepped out there. “Always have to be the tough one don’t you Ackles. Go to fucking therapy and let them deal with you because obviously we’re not getting through that head of yours.”

“You told her?” I snapped.

“He didn’t tell me shit. I’ve always known you weren’t going.” I stared at her and she crossed her arms. “I live with Jared. I know when someone is actually going and when someone is pretending to. I’ve kept my mouth shut because I thought he knew the whole time. Jensen, you need help. Real help.”

“Well I’m sorry. Obviously I didn’t realize how much I was bothering you two,” I said. I took a step, Jared squeezing my wrist. 

“Tell her,” said Jared. “Tell her about Y/N.”

“What happened to your nanny?”

“Jens?” said Gen, sliding a plate of leftovers in front of me a short while later. I looked up, a soft smile on her face. “I’m sorry for snapping. I thought…”

“I’m sorry for being so defensive. Honestly I’ve been hiding a lot from everyone lately, including Jared.”

“She would not love you less if you fell in love again. I can guarantee it,” she said.

“Part of me knows that. The other part of me feels so damn guilty for even entertaining the thought of another woman.”

“But why? Because you think Dee would be upset?”

“Because how is that far to her and the other woman? How can I love two woman completely like that at the same time? It’s not fair to either one of them.”

“You love JJ?” asked Jared, leaning back against the counter.

“Of course.”

“Zeppy? Arrow?”

“Obviously.”

“How can you possibly love three children completely at the same time? It’s not fair right?” said Jared. I blinked, a smirk on his face. 

“That’s…” I started, poking at my food. “Okay that actually kinda makes sense. You couldn’t have said that to me like a week ago?”

“You weren’t being this much of a dumbass a week ago,” said Jared. I pouted, getting a side hug from Gen. 

“You gonna ask her out?” she asked. I shrugged, Gen ruffling my hair. “Well maybe you can hang out like friends at least.”

“Yeah. I can handle that,” I said. 

“Gen,” said Jared, Gen leaving the room, Jared coming over to my side. 

“You’re gonna say I should go see someone.”

“I’m gonna say, try cutting yourself a break. You’re the nicest guy I know. Try being nice to yourself for a change. Deal?” I nodded and took a few bites of food before standing. 

“Jare. Sorry for...it’s just scary you know? I don’t know if I said goodbye for the last time or not to Dee and…it’s just hard.”

“I think life is too complicated for the two of us to figure out the actual answer to that. But I think she’s up there too pulling her damn hair out watching you freak out over all this. She’d be wingmanning you so hard right now. You know, forget how you feel for a second. Just be Y/N’s friend.”

“I will,” I said. “Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Goodnight lover boy,” he said as I headed for the front door.

“Gen! Jared wants you to do that thing with the little black-“

“Shut up!” said Jared, Gen smiling as I slipped into the sitting room.

“Don’t take it easy on him,” I winked at her.

“I never do,” she said. “Night Jay.”

“Night guys. Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Always.”

One Week Later

“Y/N,” I said, catching her washing her car in the driveway on a Saturday morning. “Got plans today?”

“Uh, I was gonna run to the grocery store in a minute but other than that, no. Need me to watch the kids?”

“No. We were going out to lunch and then going to a little car show was all and we were wondering if you’d like to join us. Totally up to you. My treat.”

“You don’t want me to watch the kids?” she asked. I laughed and crossed my arms. “I’m confused.”

“Do you want to hang out with us today? For fun?” I asked. Come on. Just say yes and have some fun. All you ever do on the weekend is chores and stayed holed away on your side of the house anyways.

“Oh,” she said. “That’s okay. You enjoy your time with the kids.”

“How do I make this clearer,” I said, walking over to her and looking down. “I want you to come with us, as a friend, to do something fun, like friends do. This is not work. Come if you want to.”

“You sure you want me to come?” she asked. I rolled my eyes and plopped my baseball cap off my head and onto hers as I walked away. She tilted the brim up, looking up through her lashes, a soft smile on her face.

“Yes. And wear sunscreen,” I said. “We’re leaving at eleven thirty.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you guys then.”

_________

A/N: Part 3 coming TBD!

[mlovesstories]

Generations Part 1

Jared x daughter!reader

Jensen x niece!reader

Summary: Jared loses the love of his life, and he has to pick up the pieces for his daughter. 

Warnings: death, emotions, car accident.

Word Count: 1700

“Jensen! Call me back!” Jared yelled into the phone and folded his flip phone shut.  He pulled his toddler-aged daughter into his chest.  Jensen called him back.  “Jensen, Sarah is gone!” The younger man screamed to his friend.  “I need you, please!” 

Jensen heard his niece crying in the background. 

“What are you talking about? Why is YN crying? Where are you?” 

“At home.  Sarah was in an accident on our street.  She’s gone!” Jared continued to cry.  

“What?” Jensen shook his head even though Jared couldn’t see.  “I’ll be right there,” he wiped the tears away that were starting to roll down his face.  Jensen hung up and took a deep breath. 

How couldshe be gone? What was Jared going to do? How would YN grow up without a mother? 

“Bud!” Jensen shouted over the commotion of sirens and people everywhere.  “Hey, come here.” He crushed YN in Jared’s arms as he gave the taller man a hug.

“Unca Jen?” YN looked up at him, narrowing her eyes in confusion.  “Mommy no feel good.  She’s taking a nap with Jesus.  Dat’s what Daddy said.” YN reached for her uncle.  Jensen took her in his arms and pulled her close into his chest.  YN gripped his shirt into her little fist, wrinkling the material.  Using the angle of her neck, she wiped her face on his plaid shirt as a tissue.   

“I know.  I’m sorry, kiddo.” Jensen tried not to cry in front of her, but he had just lost a friend and his friend had lost his love.  He bounced her little body up and down to soothe her.  Jensen turned to his friend.  “I am so sorry, Jared.  I’m so sorry.” He guided his tall friend to a curb outside the caution tape to sit down.  Jared took a deep breath to control his breathing, but a sob ran through him, and he let it out unimpressively.  Jensen wrapped his arm around his friend while still holding the toddler in his other arm.  “I know,” he tried to sooth Jared.  Jared ended up with his head on Jensen’s chest at an odd angle, but neither cared.  Jensen sighed, trying to figure out how he was going to guide his friend through this tragedy.  

 ONE YEAR LATER

“Bye, sweetcheeks,” Jared grimaced as he left his daughter with a nanny for the ten-thousanth time.

“No go!” YN cried.  “Where Mommy?” The young girl still didn’t understand. 

“The nanny will take care of you.  Mommy isn’t here right now.” He kissed her lightly.  “I have to go to work with Uncle Jensen.  I’ll be back in four days.” 

“No!” YN wailed. 

“We’ll be fine, Mr. Padalecki,” the nanny smiled.  “I promise.” 

“Okay.  Call me if she-” 

“Needs anything. I understand, Mr. Pads.” She nodded. 

The next day, Jared was fretting.  

“I hope she is doing okay,” he paced in the apartment he and Jensen shared.  

“You haven’t gotten a call from the nanny.  No news is good news when it comes to toddlers.  Trust me.” 

“You don’t have kids!” Jared huffed. 

“No, but I have nieces and nephews,” the other man shrugged. 

“I guess you’re right.” Jared sighed.  “She just turned four and being away from her while we are still grieving is not ideal.” 

“So bring her up next time.  She has a passport.” Jensen suggested.  

“Maybe…  I miss her so much, Jensen.” 

“It’s only a few days, dude.  I miss the munchkin too,” he tried to assuage his friend. 

“No.I mean Sarah.” Jared sat down on the couch after pacing the room.  Putting his head in his hands, the dad let out a breath.  Jensen switched gears and softened.  He walked over to his friend and ruffled Jared’s hair.  “Stop it,” he swatted Jensen’s hand away in playful annoyance.  “I’m going to bed.” Jared stood but Jensen gently put him back down. 

“No.  We’re having a living room sleepover.  Your sleep has been shit lately, and I am not going to let you be alone with your thoughts.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not.  And that’s fine.  But I will not let your brain take you through the tangles of that day. Now, relax and turn on a crap movie. I’m getting popcorn and pillows.” 

The friends talked and laughed at the movie until they both fell asleep on their assigned couches.  The next day, Jared was more himself. Both he and Jared were thankful for that.  Jared knew he couldn’t raise her on his own.  He needed his strong circle of friends for himself AND his kid.  Over the next few years,  Jared’s immediate heartache for Sarah decreased, although he still thought about the fond memories they had.  

“Unca Jensen?” Six-year old YN walked into the kitchen just having put on her pajamas.  

“What, baby?” He looked down at the little girl with a smile.  

“Can you tell me about my mommy?” YN offered her saddest puppy dog eyes.

“You missing her tonight?” He put the dishes back in the sink and laid the towel down on the counter.  Jensen scooped her up suddenly, making her giggle.  

“Did she like me?” 

Jensen took the girl into the living room and sat with her on the couch.  

“Oh, sweetheart.  She LOVED you.  More than you could imagine.”

“As much as the whole wide world?” YN searched her uncle’s face. 

“Even more than that.” The man grinned as he whispered his answer.  Snuggling her tightly, he let her adjust on his lap.  “She was kind, funny, she knew how to make you laugh even when you were throwing a tantrum and crying. Her heart was as big as yours.  Your mom loved you and your dad so much,” he trailed off, missing his friend. 

“Did Mommy love you too?” 

Jensen chuckled.  

“We were very good friends.  I loved her so much, and I miss her.” 

“It’s going to be okay, Jensen,” she looked back up at him and stroked his face soothingly with her small hand.  The gesture tickled his five o’clock shadow, but he resisted the temptation to move away from the feeling.  

“You think it will be okay?” He smiled just a smidge. 

“You’re strong. So is me and Daddy.  We’ll be okay.” 

“We will be,” he stroked her hair absent-mindedly.  The next time he looked down at her, she was breathing evenly on his chest with her eyes closed.  While watching youtube videos with closed captions as not to wake her, Jared returned from dinner with friends.  

“Hey,” Jared whispered.  “Brought you leftovers.” He set the bag of food on a side table and walked toward the pair on the couch.  Jared reached for his daughter, but Jensen shook his head. 

“I’ll put her down.” He smiled with pride.  “I got it.” The man came back ten minutes later.  “She fussed for a second, but she is asleep now. “ Jensen looked for approval from his friend.  

“She has a hard time relaxing,” Jared responded.  “YNN would fall asleep so easily with Sarah, but not with me.  She could get that girl to do anything.” The leftover food was pulled out for Jensen, and Jared put the dessert he purchased in the refrigerator.  

Jensen consoled his friend and told him about the conversation he had with YN before bed.  

“That’s so sweet. YN has those questions sometimes.  I don’t know how to handle it sometimes.  Sometimes it’s screaming and then another it’s tears.  You got the best outcome of just a few questions,” Jared laughed.  

“You’re doing fine.  She’s five and doesn’t understand.” Jensen took too big of a bite of his steak and dropped half of his fork-full onto his shirt, stain growing larger by the moment.  “Ugh.” He rolled his eyes. Jared laughed. 

Going back to the conversation, he said, “Six, and I’m trying, man.  I’m trying. YN is starting school in a few months.  How am I supposed to handle homework, her friends, the classmate moms? Can I handle communication with a teacher when I’m in Van?” 

“Woah,” Jensen put a hand up.  “Yes, first of all, you can.” He wiped his shirt with a napkin.  “Second, you won’t be alone.  Besides, maybe she can go to school in BC.  You will figure it out.” 

“You keep saying that, Jensen.  Stop saying it! I won’t!” 

“Oh, that’s crap.  I’m saying it because it’s true.  It’s been a few years and every time you’ve done it, whatever it is that needs to be done.  There is no roadmap for this shit.”

“Why are you so incessant?” Jared sighed, giving into his friend’s logic. 

“What’s my job?”

“Huh?” 

“What’s my job? As your big brother, what is my job?” 

“Ackles…” Jared rolled his eyes, thinking that line was stupid.  

“Well?” Jensen waited expectantly. 

“To protect me,” he huffed with a smile at the show’s inside joke.  “But you don’t have to.  I’m not a baby.” 

“No, you’re not.  But you are my brother, and as an older brother, or close to it, it is my job to take care of you when you feel like you’re not doing a good job.  Because you are.  She has the most amazing dad.  There are so many ways this could have played out.  You could have climbed into bed and not ever left your room, you could have checked out and poured yourself into work- but you didn’t.  You come home with your puppy personality and it’s all about YN.  You’re doing fine.  Excelling, actually.” 

“You don’t mean that.” Jared looked anywhere but Jensen’s face.

“Do I ever say stuff I don’t mean sincerely?” 

“I guess not.” Jared ran a hand through his hair.  

“You have had a fun evening, but I think it’s time for bed.” Jensen grinned, playfully admonishing his friend. 

“How old am I? It’s ten pm.” He laughed. 

“Exactly.  And your kid has dance at eight tomorrow morning in case you forgot.  Go, chillax. I’ll clean up here and head out.  Go,” he shooed his friend.  “When I get back from throwing this plate away, you better be gone and upstairs.  I’ll lock up behind me.” He stood and cleaned up the coffee table in front of him.  When Jared didn’t move, Jensen glared at the man.  “I’m serious, man.  Don’t get lost in your head.  Go to bed.” 

“Yeah, right,” Jared snapped out of his daydreaming spell.  He grunted and he stood to his feet and headed toward the stairs.  “Thanks, bud.” 

“Yep, sleep good, ya lug.”

@metalfangirl​ @squirrelnotsam

Forevers: 

@katymacsupernatural  @unicornblood4ever  

@fangirl-moment-x  @empirialwolf @winchesters-favorite-girl

@super100012  @percywinchester27  @waywardsuns  @supernatural-jackles  

@mcallmestiles @sdavid09  @kingandrear  @bellero @skylarraker

@seality​​​​​ @jaycc7983​​​ @luci-in-trenchcoats​​​

@cherryblossomflowers​​ @because-you-never-know-when​

@sleepylunarwolf​ @choosemyname​

@internationalmusicteacher​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​

@encounterthepast​  @torn-and-frayed​

@giggles1026​ @xiumin-girl99​

@mangueweaschester​

@idksupernatural​  @silverstripe101a​

@thevelvetseries​ @samsgirl93​   @supernatural3002​ *

* @breereadsthings​ *

@vicmc624​ @hookedinto-fictionalworlds​   @beatifuldisaster018​

@miraclesoflove​ @myopiamystical​ 

@waywardnewcomer​  

@akshi8278​  

[wiypt-writes]

25 Days of CHRIS-mas Masterlist

My Masterlist for the WIYPT 25 Days of CHRIS-mas Interactive Advent Calendar

Drabbles/One Shots listed below cut.

Day 1: Jake Wyler (Not Another Teen Movie) x Reader- Suck Me Under The Mistletoe

Day 2: Kyle (Perfect Score) x Reader- Your Presents Is Requested

Day 3: Ryan Ackerman (Cellular) x Reader- Here’s To You, Mrs Robinson

Day 4: Bryce Langley (Fierce People) x Reader- Mince High

Day 5: Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four) x Reader- Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Day 6: Syd (London) x Reader- Home For Christmas

Day 7: James Mace (Sunshine) x Reader- Second Star To The Right

Day 8: Harvard Hottie (The Nanny Diaries) x Reader- These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

Day 9: Paul Diskant (Street Kings) x Reader (Rock N Roll People Universe)- RnR Ch13: Disco Santa Dance

Day 10: Jimmy Dobyne (Loss Of A Tear Drop Diamond)x Reader- Rewrite The Stars

Day 11: Nick Gant (Push)x Reader- It Works

Day 12: Jake Jensen (The Losers) x OFC Stella Stevenson (Too Loose And You’ll Lose It Universe)- Stelly Christmas

Day 13: Lucas Lee (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)- Why Wouldn’t You Be?

Day 14: Mike Weiss (Puncture/Injustice) x Reader (from Sunny Side Up)- Dreaming Of A Weiss Christmas

Day 15: Steve Rogers (Cap) x OFC Katie Stark (Stark Spangled Universe)- Run Run Rogers

Day 16: Colin Shea (What’s Your Number) x Reader (from Witchful Thinking)- Gingerbread Whorehouse

Day 17: Mr. Freezy (The Iceman)- Frostbite

Day 18: Curtis Everett (Snow Piercer)- Oh, Christmas Tree

Day 19: Nick Vaughn (Before We Go)- Christmas In New York

Day 20: Me (Playing It Cool)- Christmas In July

Day 21: Frank Adler (Gifted)- The Night Before Christmas

Day 22: Ari Levinson (Red Sea Diving Resort)- A Wonderful Life

Day 23: Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out) -Dick-ins

Day 24: Andy Barber (Defending Jacob) x Reader (Consciousness Of Guilt Universe) - Spotted Dick

Day 25: Chris Evans (RPF) x Reader- A CHRIS-mas Carol Past/ Present/ Future

[onsunnyside]

❝𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠 𝐸𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑠 & 𝐶𝑜. 𝐹𝑖𝑐 𝑅𝑒𝑐 𝐿𝑖𝑠𝑡❞

☀︎︎ 𝐒𝐎𝐋

ꨄ Author rec at the bottom!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Chris Evans

Characters:

Steve Rogers - MCU

Ransom Drysdale - Knives Out

Andy Barber - Defending Jacob

Curtis Everett - Snowpiercer

Mr. Freezy (Robert Pronge) - The Iceman

Ari Levinson - The Red Sea Diving Resort

Jake Jensen - The Losers

Frank Adler - Gifted

Johnny Storm - Fantastic Four

Colin Shea - What’s Your Number

C.E. Misc.

Including: “Me” (Playing It Cool) - Jake Wyler (Not Another Teen Movie) - Harvard Hottie/Hayden (The Nanny Diaries) - Bryce Langley (Fierce People) - Mike Weiss (Puncture)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes & Stucky x Reader

All Dark Fics (all characters)

All Crossovers

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ꨄ C.E. & Characters Author Rec:

Each and every writer mentioned is talented and I strongly recommended following them and giving them the recognition and gratitude they deserve by reblogging and liking their work!

@afriendlyblackhottie - masterlist

@agentofbarnes - masterlist

@angrythingstarlight - masterlist

@boxofbonesfic - masterlist

@buckyownsmylife - masterlist

@cherienymphe - masterlist

@cloudystevie - masterlist

@cockslut-padalecki - masterlist

@dadplease - masterlist

@darkmasterlistyouneveraskedfor - masterlist

@donutloverxo - masterlist

@geniedetails - masterlist

@gotnofucks - masterlist

@jtargaryen18 - masterlist

@kinanabinks - masterlist

@mypoisonedvine - masterlist

@nsfwsebbie - masterlist

@ozarkthedog - masterlist

@punani - masterlist

@sagechanoafterdark - masterlist

@shellbilee - masterlist

@stargazingfangirl18 - masterlist

@strawbeariefaerie - masterlist & @strawbeariediary

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork - masterlist

@the-iceni-bitch - masterlist

@you-are-my-sanctuary - masterlist

[infernal-fire]

Masterlist

Please do not interact with this blog if you are under the age of 18. Your media consumption is your own responsibility; It is illegal for minors to indulge in my work.

Some stories include dark themes and smut. I do not condone all the actions of the characters I write.

You may not copy, reproduce, distribute, publish, display, perform, modify, create derivative works, transmit, or in any way exploit my content, nor may you distribute any part of this content over any network. I do not claim ownership over any of the characters in my content.

I appreciate reblogs (so much) and love hearing what you think about my stories!

🔥 = popular

❤️ = personal fave

Movie Fic Masterlist

🔥 Just The Benefits (1/2) (Dark!Steve)

Y/N wanted the benefits and nothing more. That was the agreement… right? Steve decides it’s not enough.

     > Just the Benefits (2/2) (Dark!Stucky)

Long Forgotten (Steve)

Your Steve isn’t yours anymore and you’re beginning to understand why. (Includes a surprise character appearance)

🔥 Reverberation of Your Incompetence (Dark!Stucky)

Steve takes it upon himself to ensure the new recruit never makes a mistake.

Easy to be Loved (Steve x Hindu!reader)

Part of your identity has always been notoriously difficult to embrace. Lucky for you, Steve will be there every step of the way on your journey to redefine yourself.

❤️ Compensate Me (Steve)

Somehow, you keep getting caught in the crossfire of Captain America’s battles… Every. Single. Time.

The Price of Stardom (1/2) (dark!Steve)

Your newfound fame awakens a side of Steve that had been dormant for far too long.

     > The Price of Stardom (2/2)

❤️ Love, At First Sight (Ransom)

Love, at first sight, doesn’t exist. And Ransom has never been proven otherwise.

being ransom's f*ckbuddy (Ransom)

If he can’t appreciate your presence, he doesn’t deserve it. 

Training (Dark!Andy Barber)

Andy takes an interest in his new intern. His advantage? Whatever he says will go, which includes some very questionable things.

Pay Attention (Dark!Jake Jensen)

You love Jake. You love him. You love him. You-… do you love him?

Nuanced Nanny (Dark!Robert Pronge/ Mr Freezy)

Suspecting Mr Pronge of engaging in illegal activity, you (mistakenly) refuse to continue to babysit for him.

Reverse Uno Card (Chris Evans)

Chris pranks you, but much to his surprise, you play a reverse Uno card on him.

Stay Under (Dark!Stucky)

Stucky uses your loopy-ness to their advantage.

You’re My Delusion (Dark!Jake Jensen)

5 days; that’s how long it takes him to become fixated on you.

🔥  Suburban Dream (Dark!Jake Jensen)

How do you wake up from a nightmare? Is it a nightmare if you've been asleep the whole time?

❤️ TAU (1/2) (Dark!CEO!Steve)

Steve Rogers traps you inside his mansion. Your only means of escape? The naïve A.I., Bucky, that is designed to kill you if you ever step out of line.

    > TAU (2/2) - hiatus

(NEW!) Hiccup (1/2) (Mob!Boss!Steve)

Steve  Rogers knew that kidnapping the Chief of Police’s daughter from her wedding would be no easy task; what he didn’t expect was your willingness to go with him.

     > Hiccup (2/2) - coming soon

❤️ I Can Save Everyone But Myself (1/3) (Bucky)

Fighting the bad guys comes easy to James Buchanan Barnes. What will end him, is the fight against his will to be with you.

Part (2/3)

❤️ Destiny in the Cosmos (Bucky)

Bucky has an exchange with the mystical forces that govern the world.

Just the Benefits (2/2) (Dark!Stucky)

Reverberation of Your Incompetence (Dark!Stucky)

🔥 Just Wondering (Soft!Dark!Bucky)

Pregnant and lonely, your mind wanders when your captor is away on a mission.

Stay Under (Dark!Stucky)

Stucky uses your loopy-ness to their advantage.

❤️ Arachnophobia (Bucky)

A surprise visitor interrupts your sexy times, but that doesn’t stop Bucky.

🔥 Five Types of Love (Bucky)

You once heard that there were eight types of love. You only knew of the five; the five that caused you to fall for one, blue-eyed menace.

TAU (1/2) (AI!Bucky/ Bucky)

Steve Rogers traps you inside his mansion. Your only means of escape? The naïve A.I., Bucky, that is designed to kill you if you ever step out of line.

     > TAU (2/2) - hiatus

[abbatoirablaze]

October Updates

Hey guys! So we're already a week into October, nearly, and I just realized when I was posting that I forgot to put in my October updates.

WIPS & New Stories this month

For this month's stories I'm trying to do darker tones.

MSI, Black Widow-Nat Romanoff X mysterious/scientist reader

MSI, Caught Red-handed-Steve Kemp X fluffer dark! reader

MSI, Hit Refresh In Fifteen Seconds- Dark! Nick Fowler X Cam girl reader

Running From A Dream, which will be followed up with Falling For a Nightmare and it's a Stucky-ish one about Bucky being a nightmare and Steve being a dream/they get warped and fall in love with the reader.

The Nanny-single dad Jake Jensen X nanny reader. Follow up to Stacy's Mom

Still Currently running are Heaven's Demons, Bad Girl's Club, Down The Rabbit Hole, and Hidden Sisters.

TM Tragedy Season 2 and His Sunshine are both ending this month.

As per usual if anyone wants added to my tag lists, feel free to comment on the story or DM me directly. I'm also open to requests for drabbles/oneshots/minis or full series.

And finally, a great big thank you to everyone who reads, shares, and reblogs. <3 You guys are awesome.