#Jesus christ you women are genuinely so fucking gross

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I don't think any female person obsessed with gay men, gay porn, and gay relationships should ever have her desire to be called a man (ESPECIALLY a gay man) respected. Nor do I think any male person obsessed with lesbians, lesbian porn, and lesbian relationships should ever have his desire to be called a woman (ESPECIALLY a lesbian woman) respected.

[munamania]

this post had to turn off reblogs and stuff bc of all the people calling this biphobic. we’re literally in the worst timeline

[weabooweedwitch]

Most women your age are getting married and starting their families and you've never even had a bf 🤡 it's so over for you better get used to coping with ur crippling loneliness with maladaptive daydreaming, yandere asmr videos, drugs and self-insert fanfic because that's all you'll ever have now. Your youth is gone and you're still fat af even after you lost weight (probably gained it all back by now lmao). You could have made something of urself whem you were 20 by losing weight and going to college but instead you laid around and wasted all of your youth and now it's too late. No man will ever want to deal with your baggage of being poor, old, unwanted, uneducated (lmao how do I have more education than you and I'm 10 years younger? dumbass doesnt even have her GED), cringey age-inappropriate hobbies, mentally ill and not even having the decency to go to therapy and take meds, fat, ugly face, loser and loner with no irl friends, crazy family, looking old for your age, whored yourself out on a sugar daddy website, rotten teeth due to your own laziness, thinning frizzy hair and gross bulky glasses, drug addicted alcoholic who's probably going to be homeless for the majority of her life, mean person attacking minor aged rape victims like jesus christ you're so fucking worthless SO many red flags so much baggage no-one will ever want to deal with that. You don't even know how worthless you are

You know, every time you send me a message like this, I think of the person from your friend group who came forward a while back. You know, the one you don't like to acknowledge tried to apologize on your behalf. Anyways, every time you insult my appearance I just think of what your friend said

So i get it sweetie, youre mad at mommy and daddy and you're lashing out. That's why half the time you're repeating things i previously said back to me and parroting shallow insults with a very small vocabulary. The second i call you fatherless, you call me fatherless. I use thw word maladaptive and, suddenly you know that word too and juat HAVE to use it as well. I get it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

You're honestly just making yourself look so pitiable. You realize you've already painted yourself as such a dumb jackass that every single time you do this I basically just laugh and ignore you, and then people who know me and are friends or WANT TO be friends with me see how you treat me publicly and they all say "yeah wow who's this absolutely demonic little cunt acting like this without any reason". Like. What is the end goal here. Making yourself look as petty and stupid as possible. Meanwhile, what did someone else in your friend group say? The ones you lied to? Including Callie, the actual victim whose trauma you're basically trying to appropriate for yourself

Anyways yeah I just wanted to like show you the actual screenshots of the conversation I had with your friend back in June, which also to everyone else, yeah June, that's when she lied to her own friends and said she would stop doing this. She lied to her friends because all of them told her this was making them massively uncomfortable, so now she's. Being an internet troll in secret behind their backs 😂 they were going to tattle on you to your mom so you lied so they wouldn't check tumblr anymore because you're such a weird angry little freak that this has become a hobby for you

I'm sad? I'M sad? I don't even know your fucking name meanwhile you've scrolled through all of my blogs repeatedly for months cataloging details about me for the sheer purpose of trying to poorly insult me.

Like genuinely 90% of the reason I'm answering this is to basically wave a flag saying "hey everyone if you've ever seen or received weird asks of photoshopped porn of me or pictures of my actual family taken from their facebooks or saw the transphobic racist fake dating profile she made with one of my selfies or you ever received a bitch lasagna or Zalgo text, it was this cringey little lolcow right here"

But I also wanted to show you screenshot proof that you make your own friends super uncomfortable and that they started talking about your personal business to defend me over you. So. Yeah I guess that stings huh?

[fingertipsmp3]

Fuck it I’m catatonically bored and I can’t justify starting to make dinner at fucking 3:52PM so I’m going to rate every Stephen King book I’ve read out of 5 stars. If the readmore doesn’t work I can only apologise

Carrie: genuinely iconic although I do think the concept is better than the execution. 3.5

‘Salem’s Lot: immaculate, literally got me into horror, I will always have a soft spot for it. 5

The Shining: iconic. Better than the movie. Argue with the wall. 5

The Stand: really really ridiculously long but I swear to you EVERY PAGE is necessary. 5, would give higher if I could

The Dead Zone: I read this when I was like 19 and I can’t remember much other than that I liked it but it made me sad. 4, marked down because of the scene with the dog

Firestarter: looooved this. 5

Pet Sematary: the first time I read this (when I was 17) it scared me so much it kept me up all night and the second time I read it (when I was 27) it gave me night terrors. 4, marked down because it is lowkey stupid I have to admit

Cycle of the Werewolf: I’m sorry but it is kind of boring. Great illustrations though. 2

It: THE scariest book I have read, haunts me in my dreams, put me through every emotion known to humankind. Sad and gross. 5

Misery: damn near a perfect thriller novel tbh. 4.5

Dolores Claiborne: I remember liking the stream of consciousness style but also thinking “Jesus Christ can we get to the point please”. 3

Insomnia: the first third of this book is fucking wonderful. The second two thirds are a hot mess and should’ve been edited significantly more. 3

The Green Mile: the story is so so good I feel like it came to SK through divine wisdom or something but I am SO sorry, I prefer the movie. I just think it made the dialogue so much more compelling and the changes made were an improvement. Still, 5

11/22/63: one of my favourite pieces of time travel media ever, I think about this book constantly. 5 (6 if I could)

Doctor Sleep: unpopular opinion but I genuinely like it I’m fucking sorry. Like it’s definitely not good but if you don’t look at it as a Shining sequel and you’re entertained by villains with stupid names it’s fun. 3.5

Mr Mercedes: fun and tense, although why SK had to write Jerome Like That I will never understand. 3.5

Finders Keepers: honestly I found this to be just okay. 2.5

End of Watch: a pretty good end to the trilogy tbh although I nearly cried at the epilogue for my own reasons. 4

Sleeping Beauties: another unpopular opinion but I liked parts of this, but I wish SK would learn how to write women… honestly I just wish this book had been written by a woman or someone who understands women. 2.5

The Outsider: if this had been edited significantly fucking better to keep SK from yapping on and on it would’ve been an absolutely brilliant supernatural thriller, but it is in fact 200 pages longer than it needs to be. 2

The Institute: SK should stop writing about women and instead write about kids. 4

Fairy Tale: maybe this was good or maybe I am just a sucker for ‘boy and his dog’ type stories. 4.5

Different Seasons: Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption & The Body are easy 5 stars, Apt Pupil is like a 3.5 because the constant gratuitous violence is just not for me, The Breathing Method was boring and a 2 at best

Four Past Midnight: honestly I liked all of these novellas. The Langoliers was my favourite and I was kind of sad to find out that’s not a popular opinion. 4 overall

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: stupidly good. Like it’s hard to list my favourite stories because there are too many of them. The Ten O’Clock People, The House on Maple Street and Popsy would have to be my top 3. 5 overall

Full Dark, No Stars: messy but good. 1922 is my favourite overall. 4

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: think I gave this 4 stars on storygraph but honestly it probably deserves more like 3. Top 3 were Ur, Obits & Bad Little Kid but I also have a soft spot for Drunken Fireworks

If It Bleeds: ughhhhhh I’m sorry but I was epically bored reading most of this. The Life of Chuck was good once it came together and Mr Harrigan’s Phone had a decent payoff, but the title novella had basically the same problems and plot as The Outsider, and Rat just felt pointless to me. 2

[calvins-dad]

i kept my mouth shut through all the summer hype. all the halloween costumes. all the memes. BUT. i genuinely think the barbie movie/bow girl aesthetic/soft feminine/ etc renaissance happening rn is fucking evil. why the fuck and am i getting bad instagram poetry about how you hated pink when you were a girl, and now embrace it and for some reason that means you can’t voice your opinions as loudly as the boys anymore??

“i’m embracing my femininity. i can be smart and strong while being soft and other girls should see that too.” yeah ok. you think little girls need MORE media telling them they should be quieter and worry about being soft? in this day and age?

and before anyone gets mad at me i’m also on a journey of like. buying dresses again for the first time in like 5 years BUT (and the but here is huge). one of the final nails in the coffin for that fucking job doing gis was when my boss called me adorable and got all the other engineers to laugh at me when i said they should organize their files. and obviously workplace microagressions are not at the top of the gender liberation list but jesus christ if i ever see another one of these fucking reels…

girl ur right that they try to make being female “boring” but they do that BY making it so u can’t be loud or assertive or have a big personality. sorry but i will always and forever be pro women being gross and loud i do not care for any of this new “embrace your femininity” shit when femininity is code for “put on a coquettecore outfit and shut up”

[jilyesplz]

Hi, sorry for what is most likely a very weird ask 😢 but I've never read TLAT since physically I don't have the circumstances to commit to such a long abandoned and unresolved fic, but i love all your stories and writing so I read your TLAT fics too! I loved them, especially the fluff dribbles because you give them such delicious dynamic 😍. I read the first chapter of Potter and Evans too and I think I understood most of it even without knowing the backstory, but I have one question if it's OK? I know this must be selfish of me but could you tell me what's the deal with James and Carlotta? Was she the prettiest girl in school? Did he really love her and then she dumped him?! 😱

Hi! First of all thank you so much for reading my stories, especially the continuation when you haven’t read the OG? :o I’m honored! This ask is not selfish at all, although I do really, really, really recommend reading TLAT! It genuinely is such a beautiful work of art. With that said...spoilers are definitely available, so I don’t ~think~ it’s evil of me to answer this?? i honestly feel kinda guilty abt this lmao but...below the cut!

Hoo mama. Strap in for this fuckin ride. (This got unbelievably long so TL/DR at bottom lmao, but a lot of it is actually relevant to P&E)

First off, yes, Carlotta Meloni is the prettiest girl in school. That is her main character trait. Her main personality trait is knowing it. 

We....hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Everything’s fine lmao.

So in July before 7th year, James and Lily almost kiss. It’s...wow. Just...WOW. But Lil is drunk and scared of her own feelings, so she calls it off at the last second, which James takes as 'nothing is ever going to happen between us.’ Then he pops off to his beach house as The Rich are wont to do. Carlotta is there, she flirts, he flirts back, she kisses him, he kisses her back, she asks him out, he says (Lily will never love me so) yes.

MEANWHILE, Carlotta’s best (only) friend Shelley Mumps has been in love with James since 462 BC, which Carlotta knows, but Shelley isn’t pretty and he barely knows she exists. It’s very high school. (TLAT starts with its main characters as very immature teenagers, and they grow a TON and become these lovely, insane, completely fantastic people, and then this plotline comes along to be like But Lest You Forget, Wow Are They In Fucking High School. It hurts. Jules is an evil genius.) Shelley hears that Carlotta is dating James, is furious at the betrayal, so she gets a tan (and a weight loss potion and much sluttier clothes) and starts trying to sabotage James’s relationship. 

Important background here: Pre-7th year, Carlotta was pretty universally despised by Hogwarts’s female population for shagging all of their boyfriends. So as soon as Shelley starts talking shit, a slow-motion school-wide catfight breaks out...which Mundungus Fletcher decides to monetize. Dung starts taking bets from the student population on whether James will dump Carlotta for Shelley. 

Ew. 

But again: high school. 1970s. James wants to shut it down, Carlotta says don’t because she prides herself on not caring what other people think (which James does too, but he understands that this is gross and awful. Car doesn’t care). Betting turns into voting on whether James “should” dump Carlotta for Shelley. What the fuck this actually means is left intentionally vague, and it of course becomes a popularity/fuckability contest. 

Up to now, Carlotta hasn’t really done anything wrong in this story except (debatably) date her BFF’s crush. That’s about to change. 

James wants to end the voting. Carlotta again says don’t, now because (Jesus Fucking Christ, get ready for this one) she has made a secret bet with Shelley: if Car wins, Shelley will leave them alone. If Shelley wins, Carlotta will break it off with James. 

Quick note: the whole time, James essentially lets Carlotta make the decisions, acting as if the women are the wronged parties, which, yes, the school is doing a super shitty and sexist thing. But if the roles were flipped and a girl were in James’s situation, we would feel AWFUL for her. I just think it’s important that the school is doing a really horrible thing to James too, and the fact that he’s the James Potter, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Universally Beloved Most Popular Bloke in School doesn’t change that. Just because he acts unaffected doesn’t mean he is. James Potter is human. And God, what a human. <3

SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG.

Anyway. Vote’s coming up. James rigs it for Carlotta to get everyone to leave them alone. The Marauders, without telling James, rig it for Shelley (because they hate Carlotta for a long list of reasons, and they love Lily, and they know Lily fancies James) (oh, yeah! Lily realized she fancied James on the platform back to school, right before finding out he was with Carlotta. Quite a gut punch). 

Carlotta...fucking rigs it...for Shelley. 

Fucking.

I cannot. 

I cannot.

Twat. 

In her defense: James is in L* with Lily, and it would be really, really hard to be his girlfriend. Also, she misses her BFF.

Not in her defense: Literally every decision she makes in this process!!! Talk to him you idiot bitch.

So then Car confesses rigging the vote to Lily and they have a heart to heart (well, more of alternating rants. They’re not mates). L says Car should tell him, but doesn’t tell him herself because she’s Lily, and because she’s worried she would be telling him because she wants him rather than because he really should know...really, she doesn’t tell him because she’s Lily. Car initially doesn’t tell him, they almost kinda get back together. She commits her greatest crime here: once upon a time, Lily told Carlotta and Shelley all the “little things” about James that she’d noticed...it’s one of the story’s first ‘oh fuck, L REALLY likes J’ moments, but way before Lily has come to terms w that. Carlotta....then uses....Lily’s little things speech....to convince J to get back together with her. Dude, she’s worse than Umbridge. But then she changes her mind because Lily has made her feel guilty so she confesses, and they break up.

Wowza. Sorry for the fucking novel. I have...a lot...of feelings.

TL/DR: J started dating Carlotta after L rejected him, while still v much in L*ve with L but trying to deny it. Lots of high school bullshit happened, ending in a school-wide vote about whether J should dump Carlotta for her ex-BFF Shelley who also fancies him. Ew, David. Carlotta and Shelley make a secret deal that Carlotta will dump J if she loses, then Carlotta rigs the vote so she’ll lose. She loses, tells him about the bet and he’s like ‘OK I’m done with you.’ She then changes her mind, tries to get him back, but Lil’s goodness guilts her into telling him the truth about the bet and they break up. So to your questions...yes, no, yes and no. Lil thought maybe he loved Car, and in Potter and Evans, she now thinks he does because she dramatically misinterpreted what Libby was saying—teasing James about how unsuccessful his attempts at moving on were—as bro-y congratulations/teasing for how fast he found a rebound.

[tricktster]

Hey, follow up to my post about The Satanic Temple because @wrexie asked and I realized I hadn’t fleshed out this thought: I mentioned very quickly that I wasn’t including legislators who identify as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in my breakdown of the numbers of self-identified Christians in the House and Senate, but then I totally dropped that thought and failed to explain why I didn’t include them.

I promise, that was not weird gatekeeping about who gets to be considered part of the Christian faith. I ommitted LDS members when I was discussing the relative Christian/Non-Christian makeup of the legislature specifically because, historically, the LDS church has been a target of religiously motivated legislation, and boy oh boy do I have a yucky example for you:

It’s 1878, 31 years since Bringham Young and the 148 other members of the nascent Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints arrived at the Great Salt Lake in Utah, and per the LDS registration numbers, there are now 125,046 people who belong to the church. Now, the total US population at that time was roughly 50,000,000 (not counting indigenous people because racism), so LDS members were not threatening to overrun the country by any means, but, you know, 125,000 is starting to look like a pretty significant religious movement, and that relatively significant religious movement became An Issue in the eyes of the law, because as of 1878, 20%-30% of LDS members practiced polygamous marriages in accordance with their religious doctrine and beliefs. (To save you the google, LDS Church didn’t formally renounce the practice of polygamy until 1890.)

Now, there’s a lot of reasons to criticize the concept of polygamy as it is practiced in patriarchal communities, chiefly: holy shit that is not a fun position to be in if you’re, for example, a woman or alternatively a boy who’s throwing off the gender ratio. So when the first LDS polygamy case (Reynolds vs. US) went to the Supreme Court in 1878, the court could have easily decided that while there was nothing wrong with having a religious belief in the merits of polygamy, the harms that it caused on vulnerable people in practice were sufficient grounds for the practice of polygamous marriages to be abolished.

But let’s get real, it was 1878, women and children weren’t fully people in the eyes of the law, and the Court had a bigger and shittier argument to make. Here’s an excerpt from the decision:

“Polygamy has always been odious among the northern and western nations of Europe, and, until the establishment of the Mormon Church, was almost exclusively a feature of the life of Asiatic and of African people. At common law, the second marriage was always void (2 Kent, Com. 79), and from the earliest history of England polygamy has been treated as an offence against society. After the establishment of the ecclesiastical courts, and until the time of James I., it was punished through the instrumentality of those tribunals, not merely because ecclesiastical rights had been violated, but because upon the separation of the ecclesiastical courts from the civil the ecclesiastical were supposed to be the most appropriate for the trial of matrimonial causes and offences against the rights of marriage, just as they were for testamentary causes and the settlement of the estates of deceased persons.

I’ll parse that shit for you, and spoil what happened to Mr. Reynolds. The Supreme Court essentially decided as follows: America is a white, Christian nation and we do not tolerate the religious practices that we associate with uncivilized places like ALL OF ASIA AND AFRICA BECAUSE WE’RE EXTREMELY RACIST. Anyway, we, the Supreme Court, intend to Keep America Great (and Christian!), so in conclusion we have decided that the LDS Practice of Polygamy Is A Crime Now, Please Go To Jail And Pay A Massive Fine, Thank You!

Reynolds is still the law of the land; it’s never been overturned, and that’s not great (even though the decision had the effect of protecting a lot of women and children over the years). It’s a gross decision and it’s a bad decision - not because it’s the wrong outcome but specifically because justice is not the point here; the Supreme Court in deciding Reynolds used the concept of the American National Identity to smack down a minority religious group strictly because they challenged the status quo, and that, my dudes, is basically the judicial equivalent of wiping your ass on the Bill of Rights.

So, yeah, I deliberately omitted the LDS legislative members when discussing the prevalence of Christian beliefs among American lawmakers because until like... remarkably recently in American history, the LDS church was not the motivating factor behind religiously motivated legislation, they were the target. Jehovah’s Witnesses too, boy oh boy did the JWs ever bring a lot of lawsuits to be able to practice their faith as mandated by their religion, and they actually scored a few big wins.

Again, I’m not saying “join the Jehovah’s Witnesses!” or “actually fundamentalist polygamy isn’t all that baaad.” I’m just pointing out that the effect of religious legislation and religiously motivated jurisprudence isn’t just a threat to the athiests and godless commies among us. The deeply religious should give just as much a shit about this as the non-religious, because if you let these rights erode in furtherance of promoting your own religious beliefs, all it takes is ONE demographic shift before it’s your religious practices getting outlawed.

Also, again, there’s a way for the Court to reach the right decision if a religious practice is genuinely harmful, and that’s to recognize that everyone has the right to their own faith, but that the State has an interest in preventing harm caused by religious practices. I mean, the Court has historically fucked that analysis up too (because racism/sexism/homophobia, etc.), but it’s still way better than the Sir, This Is A Christian Nation approach.

Final note: the religious makeup of the current Supreme Court is notable because three justices, Ginsburg, Kagan, and Breyer, are Jewish (everyone else is Christian). If you’re interested, start paying attention to how they rule on religious cases. Better yet, read Breyer and Kagan’s dissents in Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby, where they opposed one of the worst Supreme Court decisions of all time. (In Hobby Lobby, the majority ruled that Hobby Lobby [company motto: Michaels, But Shittier] didn’t have to abide by the contraceptive mandate of the Affordable Care Act because it was somehow a violation of the corporation Hobby Lobby’s religious beliefs!!!!!!!!! to provide their employees with insurance that covered contraceptive health care. It is absolute horse shit.)

Anyway, the Christian male conservatives made the decision, overcoming the women and Jewish justices’ dissenting opinions, and from that outcome and the well-reasoned dissents from Kagan and Breyer alone, one could probably posit that increased diversity on the bench is a GREAT IDEA to protect against oppression from a religious majority.

....That’s not happening while a republican is president, though, so for the love of god get your vote by mail done EARLY this year.

[incarnateirony]

I went off on a rant to a friend about things like Gamble Era, and miscellaneous idolized past authors, and you know what, fuck it. I'm going to say it out loud. And listen, listen this is NOT going to be my normal "Whatever you like :)" post like, this is literally an accumulation of horse shit I've seen talked about in any and all lanes for years that have been driving me fucking bananas for years. Don't just read this going HAHA I HATE GAMBLE TOO and then be shocked when I slap at inexplicably favorited authors in this fandom beyond that.

------

God how can anyone genuinely like Gamble, like, literally, legitimately and 1000%, not even about her killing Cas or whatever, what kind of pure trash TV do these people intake in mass that they think Gamble was good at her job I can not emphasize enough how cripplingly disappointing the shift from S4-5 to 6-7 was I know art is in the eye of the beholder or whatever but JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

Fuck constructivist theory there's a point when things are just clearly trash Benefits S7 had: Just da bros uhhhh *flips through pages* Anything else? Are dick jokes art?

Her era was overrun by plot holes you could fly boeing jets through -- and I don’t mean shit like when fandom goddamn made up in their own damn head about an angelreaper retcon even though the reaper in the same episode they said was a retcon said the deadass opposite of what everybody fucking wound themselves up about, just deadass yawning voids -- it had unstable mechanics on previously established species shit, the villain plot was one giant monster of the week that tried desperately to go back to how they handled shit like Azazel as a threat but miserably failed, the monster had the dumbest weakness possible, the characters themselves were unstable in their characterizations and not even in that general "I don't like what the show is doing with them" but episode to episode Sam flipping from ripping Dean with laughter over gay jokes to woke-sounding sentiments

The cinematic style was gone and just vacant, it was neither the overexposed horror desaturated film nor the vivid fantasy of Carver, it just sat there like an unpolished lump

While later seasons also lost the classic rock vibe for budget reasons, that too disappeared in her era so we had no film energy, no story energy, no character energy, no villain energy, no structure energy, and we didn't even have the fucking cool tunez but we had dicks allergic to windex

It even lacked the elements that gave Kripke era value

Dusty americana died, all we had left was teenage girl fuckin emo sad boi drama And even that was miserably piss poor

I have never seen such a visionless fucking disaster successfully air an entire season on my fucking TV

I will never, EVER be able to outline what a fucking disappointment it was to go from S4-5 level show maturation into this negative embarrassment by season 7.

S6 Kripke was still around to some extent and that's the only reason I can deduce, S7 minded, there was any substance to it, even if her writing and editing crew at the time were a goddamn tire fire. And then people turn around and yell feminism if you criticise the giant fucking blazing slag heap that was her era and blame anyone and everyone but her and here you FUCKING go and she does half the shit all over again in the Magicians

(The friend replied: "The season only works in reverse, which is a crime on serialised TV (and just bad screenwriting)." )

That's just it though, it's like S7 we were suddenly back to fucking episodical TV like S1-2 because enough fuckbats yelled about Good Old Days. Only instead of ʷĤε𝕣є'𝓼 đα𝒹 or 𝐓Ħⓔ DεᗰＯᶰ 卄𝓐ｓ Ƥl𝓐𝓝Ş ℱⓞｒ Ⓜ𝔢 it was   ħ𝔞ⓗａ 𝓓ＩＣ𝐤ᔕ  🍆

I mean fucking sure this show started targeting late teenage women but Kripke had started maturing it forward and then Gamble fucking rolls along and it's like she's writing for 13 year old boys suddenly

Well I say that's what she seemed to be writing for but at the time the marketing was gross objectification going LOOK PRETTY BOYS WITH GUNS and that was it, that was the substance of what they gave a shit about and apparently the kind of demographic they thought constituted the sum of the SPN audience which, go get fucked guys, seriously. No fucking wonder the ratings got gouged in half over the course of a year. And fandom yells BUT FRIDAY DEATH SLOT but go sit and spin, S6 was friday deathslot too but before Kripke disappeared as the last thread holding SOME kind of cohesive value in the piece together in S6, that went to shitfuckhell in a handbag at light speed. People migrated to SPN Fridays S6 just fine. They LEFT season 7 and then people plug their ears if they don’t like that. And Carver had to fight all S8 to get it back, /but succeeded, and then-some./ 

oh and lemme head off fandom dumbfuck argument #72 about “well Dabb’s ratings are lower than Gamble’s were so he sucks and ruined it worse” go take your fucking ass and google “national primetime ratings decline” and enjoy exploring the last fucking 70 years of TV history. Pointing out a show crashes within a year because of massive failure is not the same as people being intentionally fucking daft sods to the TV universe’s decline over the last decade so like, don’t. Don’t be that person. Because you’re still embarrassingly wrong.

(The friend replied: "That's why I don't get why people care about what the vocal minority have to say. They *already* got what they wanted. It crashed and burned. Nobody in their right mind in corporate world is gonna be like, let's try that again, let's throw more money into that burning pit That's just not happening. Gay angels or no, it just ain't." )

I mean that should have been obvious when 1. Carver brought back Cas and pretty much immediately promoted him to Regular 2. Misha then got promoted to lead credits in S12, no matter what circles of intentional, willful ignorance fandom argues about what the credits mean for petty piss fights

"LOL & MEANS HE'S LESS IMPORTANT" Shut the fuck up and sit down you basement dwelling shitlord, go watch the A-Team, tell me how Mr T is the least important character

Also unpopular fuckin opinion Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are not That Great. Compared to what they were SURROUNDED with they were exceptional but Berens and Yockey could run circles around them both. They just happened to give fandom shit they liked during dark times so it made them fun. Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are basically the baseline value of our current writing team on random names. Give me Robbie Thompson and give me Davy Perez and I see no fucking difference. People compare Edlund to Yockey because of certain shit he pulled off but like, no? If there WAS a comparison it’d be like, Meredith, and even then I can’t see any way Edlund is substantially better than Meredith but could list the other in reverse?

But if we're talking about being able to write pieces with more than 1 or 2 layers of impact I'm sorry, it's rose colored glasses that makes people idolize them

Like if people seriously objectively fucking sat and reviewed the methodology and substance of their past idol authors to the demonstratable level of the current crew where I am DEAD ASS HAVING DISCOURSE WITH THE EXEC PRODUCER ABOUT BAUDRILLARDIAN CONCEPTS AND DELILLO in the middle of a hypercomplex postmodern two-directional commentary piece on some scaffolding of sociopolitical representation commentary that SAILS past the level the ‘activists’ in this fandom think about, literally, what people like is Gay Shit They Got lobbed at them or shiny visuals. And you know what, whatever, sure, like what you like IDGAF but don't sit here like Thompson was some fucking Shakespeare. No, your fucking "meta" you -- you, in any lane, anyone, any ship, anywhere, ever -- wrote by COMPLETELY randomly associating whatever storyline you could staple on to try to pretend the text was doing what you want at the time -- is not the same as author intent and actual weight and merit to the cohesive structure of what they build.

YES YES I KNOW, Death of the Author, someone just popped that up in their head, like the ten thousand posts I've made over the last 209349 years addressing how people abusive the fuck out of the term and that's fine, interpret shit however you wanna make it do jumping jacks but don't sit here entering the time you attached Little Bo Peep as some sort of intrinsic value to Dean trying to find Sam in 1492 and act like that's some deep critical shit the authors thoughtfully laced into the piece, these are not the same fucking conversation.

Big hollow voids of statements doesn’t make a better author, it makes you bust your ass harder to actually give any sort of consequential meaning to the piece, and that has nothing to do with the quality of the author or text themselves, that has to do with your interpretation in a piece devoid of genuine thematic subtext so people desperately try to bobby pin some bullshit together. Which also is probably why this fandom can’t tell the difference between coding, interpretation, subtext, and text for their fucking life anymore.

Protip the entire goddamn writing room is pouring that gay shit in your cup that's been triple brewed above Robbie or Edlund’s pots and people are still complaining it isn't enough

Another point that drives me up a wall, "LAZARUS RISING IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER" okay like lmaooooo what the fuck are you smoking Was it impressive as fuck at the time yes it was. But again, fucking perspective. I literally went back and watched it like a month ago and I realized it was a fucking void of content compared to our modern writing, it just had one of the most impressive entrances, it DID have good directing (YES MANNERS WAS GOOD, NO DISRESPECT), and it introduced a character everybody loved. Dean was still a halfass caricature

You wanna know why everybody made that shit gay right away Because there was no fucking substance around it it was a wallpaper of a cool looking episode that was otherwise blank space to run around in on dialogue they should have thought to construct better if they didn't want it to be gay

And sure since then the author room has picked up the big gay ball and started actually turning it into some shit which, great, but this is yet again a matter of structure and intent versus throwing rotten pasta at the wall and seeing if the mold makes it stick. I don't care if you have a vegan recipe that converts the fucking mold on the pasta into a healthy sauce base that isn't what it was thrown at the wall like, and no amount of complimenting the original chef's moldy pasta means it was some tasty shit before you added 10,000 ingredients they never fucking thought about or at least a second chef came along and figure out what to do with the pile of goo.

Fandom would stop being this miserable fucking putrid stinkhole if people would collectively apply some goddamn perspective to the content they argue about before even bothering to engage with uwustiel/cest dot tumblr dot com in irrelevant argument #9238428934 they use to fence off whether they should enjoy the content or try to explore it for its value or not because there is NO. MORE. PERSPECTIVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S FINE TO EVEN ADMIT YOU LIKED THINKY-FREE TV, THAT’S FINE, THAT’S YOUR RIGHT.

But don’t SIT here acting like a lot of these former train wrecks were “better authors” or somehow objectively “better content.” No like, you like not thinking about shit that much and staring at pretty boys or whatever, good on you, but you literally like, objectively, some of the shit I’ve seen go down is like genuinely trying to compare a toddler’s fridge art to a Vasarely and hold them both up in front of people who do art for a living. They ain’t gonna shit on the kid’s fridge art, but they’re gonna go “awwwww she’s gonna grow up to be a great artist!” before breaking down on Vasarely’s vector illusion shit, sorry, that’s just how it be. I’m sure the kid had some sort of vision to drawing the triangle over the square that kinda looks like a house but the hypercomplex thought processes simply aren’t there. 

Just people STUCK in weird idolization of shit that is so far past irrelevant to the current piece in play and fighting to win arguments while trying to convince themselves they're right and secretly dreading how titanically failboat wrong they are ignoring the sound of the glacier having ripped through their hulls SEASONS ago. The ice water has already leaked onto the fucking DECK and people are still arguing about completely ridiculous shit or fancying things that were 1/10th of the value of the current content they're claiming isn't good or enough or valid compared to the shallow specters that birthed them out of old aeons. 

Dead-ASS Kripke picked shit because it “sounded cool.” I’m sorry if there weren’t some model guys fandom wanted to hump everybody would be making fun of the fedora-tipping mindset that probably is where the fucking trenchcoat came from and may have debated giving Cas -- sorry, “CASS” because “COOL” -- katanas. But sure. Way, way deeper and more intricate than the Jungian intertextual post modern piece that’s so tightly knit it’s making fandom unwittingly comment on themselves.

I thought people grew out of that shit when they were like 16 unless they were incels

(My spidey senses detected someone unironically preparing to inform me about stealing borrowing the imagery from Constantine on reflex, because you know, that’s some peak intertext right there.)

Dead ASS that writing logic is that motherfucker that wanders into your freeform RP server with Spawn knockoff miasma chainsaw arms under his leather trenchcoat shooting twin Deagles with a vague story of wanting to face his demon overlord father that’s written like a looney tunes villain, in the middle of you cowriting with your lit-savvy friends trying to make a fun fantasy adaptation rendering fascism and corporate america and then he gets upset when nobody wants him to shit lightning -- /fight me/.

SERIOUSLY FOLKS. WANNA ENJOY THE SHOW AGAIN? GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. LET GO OF FETISHIZING WEIRD WARPED MEMORIES AND LINES OF ARGUMENT INSIDE YOUR OWN HEADS ISTG IT'LL HELP.

The day I find an argument that makes season 7 legit good TV rather than, at very best, “fun junk TV I had a cool ride on”, that does NOT involve evoking arguments distinctly born out of petty shipping culture arguments and/or (generally the same) attaching their own shit with a stapler to MAKE it have some sort of meaning at the time it was airing (rather than later showrunners making it add up to something), I’ll eat my fucking arm.

𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴. Carver era had already gone through dramatic changes that deepend the scope of the show and even then, 15.09 Bobo’s The Trap held more ACTUAL commentary on this fandom than Thompson’s Fanfiction episode did as a supposed fandom-commentary episode much LESS 15.04 as an actual meta framed episode. Fanfiction was like 4 years behind and completely fucking unplugged, whereas the base of the show itself is more integrated now in these dynamics than any attempt at meta episodes back then were.

old days it took one goddamn episode of dreaming for people to 1. start talking about Freud and 2. pretend the whole everything after that was some Freudian masterpiece even when, if it were, it would have been an entire avalanche of dropped balls. But two seasons of direct citations and literal manifest avatar-bodies of Jungian psychology elements and it’s hard to pull more than a peep out of the fandom about it because they’re too busy yelling about tulpas or sirens from before most of the people around here hit puberty.

𝓕 𝓤 𝓒 𝓚

furthermore why does anyone that idolize season 7 for what they think fits their bill think season 15 is gonna end how they want when they’ve been taking the piss out of season 7 over and over and over and over again IN THE TEXT as being dumb as SHIT

𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋

WHY SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT

TO WIN TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS? THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY LOSING FROM START TO FINISH?

actually you know what

rolling back to the whole “empty/subtextless stuff making people bust their ass” seems to be what you miss. Saying, “I miss empty, shallow, shitty writing” doesn’t really sound as good though so we change “what I like” into “this is talentless trash” it postures better, but it seems to be the people who have objectively fucking refused core tenets the show has evolved over the last 7 years, most explicitly the last 3-4, and absolutely refused to soak them in the form they deliver in. And they’re mad. Because it isn’t hollow. They can’t run around in fucking blank space and plug absolute horse shit into the voids and then posture like they’re supreme in this noncommital wasteland. Because everything’s built out and structured in and loud as fuck and people are debating the actual installed and even dogmatically cited work of philosophers driving the ideology of the show now and they can’t get away from it, and/or actually have to pay attention to the whole show and think about it all as a picture instead of the parts they want, so it’s “bad.”

I just sensed like 50 readers shoving their foot into that shoe. Good.

Jesus christ I’m pretty sure that’s what it is in hindsight after yelling all of this. These characters can’t be used as sock puppets anymore that people can win bullshit arguments unless they literally delete the entire principle of the modern show -- and this goes for MULTIPLE lanes really, each in their own way -- so now it’s “bad.” And that’s just not how this works.

[vorish-musing]

Always Here to Help

Holy shit this took me forever! I’m sorry this took me so long, I was so busy the past week or so!

Summary: a continuation to ‘Dirty Little Secrets” The losers go out to dinner, but Eddie notices Richie is acting strange. the man isn’t eating, and looks like he was in pain. Understanding what was going on, Eddie creates a plan to help Richie.

Warnings: this story contains Vore, g/t, cursing, a worried Richie, an annoyed Eddie.

A special thank you to that anon who sent this idea in, I hope this I did your Idea justice!

Richie sighed as he turned off the engine off of the car, he stared up at the big bright letters that read ‘Jade of the Orient’. He was honestly a little nervous to go inside, since the last time the losers went there, there were decapitated heads singing in the fishtank and eyeballs in the fortune cookies, not something he’d rate five stars on yelp.

But pennywise was dead, they killed him, turned him into a fucked up balloon baby and finished him. Nothing like that would happen again, and he kept telling himself that. His head hung low and he held the steering wheel tightly, so much so that his knuckles turned white. 

A knock on his window alerted him into lifting his head up, his demeanor changed completely seeing who was there. 

Eddie knocked once more on the window, trying to get Richie to leave the car. It wasn’t a hard task, seeing the man get out almost instantly seeing him. Richie stood up, pulling Eddie in for a long hug, holding on tightly to his boyfriend. 

“I missed ya’ Eds”  he spoke, though a bit muffled due to his face being pressed up against the other man. 

Eddie hugged back, his face in Richies shoulder, “It’s only been a few hours Richie.” 

It had been a few days since eddie was almost killed by pennywise, and Richie was still on edge about the man going anywhere alone, he was almost overprotective of the man. Eddie too was nervous about being left alone, knowing how vulnerable he really is by himself, but Richie was taking it to a whole new level.

Richie chose to ignore eddies remark, instead holding the man's face up, and kissing him. Eddie immediately kissed back at this notion. Since it had been a few days since they started dating as well. 

It felt like an explosion in Richie when he kissed Eddie, years of repression gone, he could finally feel happy about who he is and who he loves. 

The two let go of each other, Eddie still holding Richies hands tightly “Wanna go inside and eat?” Eddie spoke 

‘There's something right here i’d like to eat’ the thought passed through his mind, but he just held it down, he knew Eddie hated talking about it, and he couldn’t blame him. His boyfriend can eat people for god's sake! He knew it was uncomfortable for eddie, since he was terrified out of his mind when it happened, still probably is and just hiding it. But at least Eddie wasn’t scared of him. That would destroy richie. 

“Y-yeah, I’m starving”

Eddie tensed slightly at Richies words, but calmed a second later, Richie eating him was always on his mind, but he could never tell Richie that. 

The two of them entered the restaurant, reuniting with the other losers. Bill and Mike sitting next to each other, Ben sitting one seat away from Bill. Beverly sat between them, Ben grabbing a hold of her hand lovingly. The only other seats were next to each other, which Eddie and Richie gladly took.

Ben looked over at Richie and Eddie, “We were wondering when you’d show up.” Ben turned to look at the other losers “thought you’d try and leave again without us knowing.” 

Richie shrugged, looking simultaneously Innocent and devilish. “I had to cancel dinner with your mom, so don’t worry about it.” 

The table erupted into laughter as well. Eddie laughed into his drink, spilling a bit on himself, he wasn’t the butt of the joke this time, so he could actually enjoy Richie’s jokes. 

Though it felt weird when Richie made jokes about women, knowing Richie was gay. It almost made him feel bad, he never noticed it before but now he could just tell it was a wall to hide himself.

“Beep beep Richie” Ben spoke, holding back his laugh too, he didn’t mind the comment, he knew Richie was just playing. 

As the food arrived, the whole table began to chatter again, it felt nice hearing everyone talking and being genuinely happy again. Everyone began eating, the only acception being Richie, who sat and listened to every conversation. . 

All the loud chatter and light banter soon died down when a low growl from Richie’s stomach interrupted them all. 

Richie paused at the noise, grabbing a hold of his stomach. Something wasn’t right, his cravings were stronger. Richie was in pain holding back the urges. Being around so many people and their smells everywhere, it was almost overwhelming. He hated how sometimes it was heightened to an insane amount, like today. He never understood it, and he probably never would.  

“J-Jesus Ch-Christ Richie” Bill broke the silence with another laugh “h-how long has i-it been since y-y-you’ve ea-eaten?!”

Richie laughed awkwardly, probably for a second or two too long, “I mean I was going to eat something… but again, I cancelled my date with Ben's mother”

It took Ben a moment to realize what Richie was implying, But when he realized he had turned a deep red “oKAY” he said, trying to move on as the other losers erupted with laughter once more at Ben’s embarrassing demise.

The losers began piling their plates with food, all accept Richie, who sat and listened to everyone talking and having fun. He was there physically, but mentally he wasn’t paying any attention, he was just trying to keep the hunger pains down. He held his stomach as it quietly gurgled hungrily.  It just smelled so good, but when he tried actually eating, it almost tasted bad to him. 

It took richie a moment to realize that he wasn’t smelling the food in front of him, but the scent of the losers around him. It made him feel worse, he couldn’t even control himself around his friends. 

His stomach made another low, but loud growl, which he masked pretty well with a fake coughing fit, but he couldn’t mask the pain any longer, he groaned to himself, quiet enough for him to notice… or so he thought.

 Eddie had been keeping an eye on Richie for a while, and noticed every little thing, and he sympathized with the man. He couldn’t control the fact that he had... cravings. The thought sent a shiver up Eddies spine, remembering the fear he had felt when he was…gross, don’t think about that, he interrupted his own thoughts, pushing that particular thought down. 

He wasn’t ungrateful for what Richie had done to him, not at all. He pretty much owed his very life to the man. It was just a bad memory for him, he almost died, so of course it wasn’t the nicest thing to think about. 

But when he saw Richie hold himself in pain, he couldn’t let this go on for any longer. He noticed the losers noticing, but not saying anything to be polite. He grabbed his phone, pretending he had a text, then sighs loudly to get the attention of the rest of the losers 

“Shit… sorry guys, I have to go, I gotta get on a call with my boss in like” he looked at his watch, pretending to look at the time “Twenty minutes”

Richie laughed “What's wrong, everyone fall asleep at your boring job?” he teased lightly, the losers chuckling.

“That sucks Eddie, we gotta go out tomorrow to make up for lost time.” Mike spoke, Ben and Bill nodding. 

“Absolutely” he agreed with the men “Richie? I parked next to your car, can you show me where that is? I don’t remember” Dumb idea, but he was thinking on the spot, can’t exactly make a mastermind plan in only a few seconds.

Richie looked confused, and just nodded and got up. Pointing to let Eddie lead the way. Eddie turned, walking out, the losers letting out a chorus of goodbyes. 

Richie followed Eddie quietly as he could out of the restaurant, he was quiet, his stomach was not, it gurgled loudly, begging for him to eat, he covered his stomach the best he could to muffle the noise.  He looked away from Eddie, his mind creeping to places he didn’t want to go to.

He smells so good. Richie didn’t notice until now, his smell was so inviting, and delicious. You know he would taste good. Richie looked back at Eddie, his mouth watering looking at the man, he remembered exactly how the man tasted, Granted there was a lot of blood, but underneath all of that was amazing. 

But he couldn't. He promised himself he would never do it again without Eddies consent, and the man didn’t seem like he wanted to be eaten ever again. Hell, the man didn’t even want to TALK about it. 

When the cold air hit the two of them as the exited the building, Eddie stopped in his tracks, Looking around. Richie thought it was to find his car, but Eddie was making sure nobody was around. 

“This way Eds” Richie beckoned for Eddie to follow, walking to the parking lot behind the building. Richie could already see his bright red car, but no cars beside it, he turned back to Eddie, about to ask what was going on, when Eddie ran to him, giving Richie a surprise kiss.

Richie jumped back in surprise, but kissed right back, he smiled this is what he wanted. He wanted to kiss me, what a fucking nerd...I love him so much 

He tastes good. 

Richie pushed back quickly as that thought hit him like a bullet, and as if on cue, his stomach let out another loud gurgle. Richie let go of Eddie, pinching the bridge of his nose “Fuck...sorry”

Eddie turned a slight red at the noise,his arms around Riches shoulders, “I took a taxi here, y’know” 

Richie looked back at eddie “so you just wanted to make out in the middle of the street for a bit? Wow ed’s you’re more of a freak than I thought.”

Eddie laughed softly, before turning extremely awkward. “Listen, This is going to sound fucking weird… but I know you’re in pain, I can see it.” 

Richie turned red, he was caught, he made it too obvious and Eddie was afraid, fI fucked up goddammit. He had to say something “Eddie listen I won--” 

Eddie hushed him when he was Richie's fear, dropping his hands to his sides “Shut the fuck up and let me speak tozier” his tone was jokey, but he wanted Richie to actually listen. The man shut up immediately.

“I know what you’re feeling, fuck I can hear it,” Eddie pointed to Richies stomach, making richie turn a darker red. “I want to help, and if that means you have to…” He paused, am I really going to offer myself as a meal? What if I’m wrong and Richie just has food poisoning? No, I know whats happening, I’m not stupid.

“If that means you have to eat me...I’m okay with that.” 

Richie was at a loss for words, he never expected this in a million years “You...You want me to do that?” He wanted to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating

“I wouldn’t say I want you to,” Eddie turned red “But...for you…I want you to be okay, the other losers could tell something was up, I don’t want them to find out the hard way about your...power” 

Richie wanted to deny that he would ever do that to them, but he knew Eddie was right, He was holding back that feral part of him that would Eat anyone in sight,  he wasn’t at that point in this moment, but he was close. 

“Eddie, you know what you're asking me to do right?” 

“yes, and I’m okay with that” 

Richie smiled, wrapping his arms around Eddie, embracing the man in a hug “I love you. I love you so fucking much”

Eddie hugged Richie back, holding him tightly. He would never say it, but he was scared to do this, but he kept telling himself it would be different this time.

The two men let go of each other, “we should go to my car. It’d be more private.”

Eddie just nodded, following Richie to his car, the two men getting in. Eddie sat in the passenger seat, playing with the cuff of his jacket nervously. Richie sat in the driver's seat, sighing deeply.

Richie was nervous as well, he had never had a willing participant before, and it seemed so bizarre. He always wanted someone to willingly let him do this, but never in his wildest dreams would it actually happen!

“So…” Eddie broke the silence after a few minutes, to Richie it felt like hours.”Do I uhh...do anything?”

Richie shook his head “No no, I just didn't want to jump into it Immediately” he smiled nervously, I didn’t want to scare you…. You’ve been through enough. 

���Just fucking do it Richie” Eddie crossed his arms, his tone stern, but not mad “Before I change my mind” he almost felt impatient with Richie, if the man was hungry, he should just do it. 

Richie, Shocked at how serious Eddie was being, just nodded, adjusting himself so he was turned to face Eddie completely.

“You’re gonna feel a bit dizzy, so I’m told, so… Sucks to be you” He smirked, getting a silly smug look on his face. He held out his hand, Eddie took it carefully, intertwining their fingers. Richie’s smile faded a bit “Are you ready?”

Eddies stomach dropped, realizing he was actually doing this. He was going to allow himself to be eaten by Richie. He wasn’t nervous, he was just shocked at how absurd the situation was. I’m about to be eaten by my boyfriend, and he's asking me if I’m ready? 

“Yes.” Eddie let out the breath he was holding, he wasn’t going to go back from this, even if he was given the chance, he wouldn’t “I trust you”

Richie was about to start shrinking Eddie, but paused, He trusts me. The words never hit him that hard before, but nobody had ever trusted him this much.

Richie Squeezed Eddies hands, and Eddie got a dizzy feeling hitting his head, the inside of the car slightly spinning. He watched as Richie got bigger and bigger to him. 

When Eddies head stopped spinning, he was about 4 inches tall. Eddie backed up to look at Richie, who let go of the tiny man. 

“How you doing?” Eddie jumped slightly at the Volume richie was speaking at, the man noticed, speaking a bit quieter this time “Sorry” 

The two just stared at each other for a few minutes, Eddie was waiting for Richie to pick him up, Richie waiting for Eddie to change his mind.

When Richie realized Eddie wasn’t going to say anything, he carefully put his hand down beside the shrunken man who climbed on quickly, quicker than Richie expected. 

He Lifted his hand slowly, bringing it up to his face, Eddie sat as still as possible, nervous he could fall off. 

“You know” Richie spoke, softer now that Eddie was right by his mouth “You can back out at any time--”

“I’m not going to so shut the fuck up about it” 

Richie put his other hand up in defense “Okay! Okay!” he sighed, bringing Eddie closer to his mouth, half expecting the hypochondriac to change his mind.

But Eddie wasn’t going to do that. He made up his mind and he wasn’t going back, no matter how gross it was. 

Richie’s mouth opened, and before he could bring Eddie in himself, Eddie climbed into it on his own, Richie let out a surprised yelp. 

“What the Fuck” He spoke, the words slurring around Eddie. The tiny man didn’t say anything in response. 

Richie’s thoughts were pushed back when he began tasting Eddie. It was a whole different experience than last time when the man was covered in blood and dirt. This time, he was sweet, almost like vanilla, but mixed with something that he had never tasted before. The two flavours worked beautifully together. 

It was actually pretty hard to not swallow the man immediately, he had to hold his instincts down for the time being. 

Richie rolled Eddie around in his mouth, tasting the man all around. He was getting a bit carried away, but he didn’t care, Eddie was insistent, so he was going to give the man what he wanted.

Eddie barely moved after entering the mouth, he laughed at Richies surprised noise. He was half expecting the mouth to be terrifying like before. 

But It was just a normal mouth, and the tongue was slightly soft, and actually comfortable to be on top of, he laid with his head facing outward of the mouth, and his legs near the hot, red throat. 

He gasped as Richies tongue pushed him around, rolling him underneath and overtop of it, Eddie let out a yell out of disgust, not expecting this at all. It took him a moment to realize eddie was playing with him 

“Fuck off Richie!” he yelled, pushing back on the spongy tongue, which only resulted in it pushing him back up on top of it. Richie laughed, making eddie move around in his mouth involuntarily. “Hey dickweed! Can you fucking hear me? Cut it out!”

As Richie teased Eddie in his mouth, it got harder and harder not to just swallow the tiny man up, his own mind was taunting him to do it, and he couldn’t hold on anymore. His stomach gurgled loudly and painfully, signaling that he had to swallow now. 

And without warning, Richie's head tilted back and the man Swallowed. Eddie let out a gasp as he was pulled back, his lower half pulled into Richies throat. He tried to move his legs, but the throat was too tight to even to that. He yelled out to Richie “Dude!” 

He at least expected a warning before it happened, but he wasn’t surprised Richie wanted to swallow out of the blue to freak him out. 

Richie swallowed again, this time the rest of Eddie was pulled into his throat, traveling down. He brought his hand up to the bulge in his throat as it passed down his esophagus. It just felt right. It felt so much better when someone wasn’t struggling and fighting back. He could actually breathe when swallowing. 

Swallowing…

“Shit!” Richie finally realized what he had done, he didn’t mean to swallow so soon! He didn’t even give Eddie a chance to get used to the surroundings. He hoped that Eddie’s stillness was because he was calm and not frozen in fright. 

Eddie heard Richie's heartbeat quicken instantaneously as he made his descent down. He focused on the muscles massaging him down, they pushed and relaxed on his body, it was almost rhythmic. It wasn’t as horrific as he remembered it, it was soft, and it felt so...comforting. Eddie felt so stupid for being afraid of this, it was actually nice. 

As he entered the stomach, he heard a deafening gurgle around him, almost as a welcome to him. Eddie began moving once his whole body was released by the esophagus, trying to get in a comfortable position. 

Richie put a hand on his belly, feeling Eddie moving around “Jesus Ed’s, are you okay?” He asked, his voice at a normal volume now 

“Thanks for the warning trashmouth” He pushed on the stomach wall, making Richie let out a small ‘oof’

Richie put a hand on his forehead, “Yeah… I got a bit… carried away” He turned red, laughing uncomfortably.

“I could tell” Eddie laughed “how are you doing?” 

Richie smiled “What can I say, You’re delicious”  when he swallowed eddie, the pain in his stomach was immediately gone, replaced with a feeling of being full. “I feel actually...great. I’ve never felt this good after before.”

Eddie blushed, taking richies words as a compliment “You should go back inside, they’re probably worried.” 

Richie looked at the time, ten minutes had passed, but to him, it felt like an hour, “But it feels too good!” He spoke, dragging out the o’s in the word good. “I think I’ll sleep” Richie moves around, placing his hands on the bulge in his stomach,, squishing eddie a tiny bit, nothing that would hurt the guy, but enough to annoy him.

“No, NO!” Eddie yelled, trying to push Richies hands away from him, which only resulted in being squished even more “you are NOT sleeping with me in here!” 

Richie Laughed, letting go of his stomach. The walls around Eddie vibrating and jumbling him around. “You’re cute Ed’s” He sat back up, “But yeah, I’m gonna go back inside, I know this is hard for you, but keep your mouth shut” 

“Says you trashmouth!”

Richie chuckled, getting out of his car. As he walked to the restaurant, he could feel Eddie moving around, not in a panic, but it almost seemed like he was exploring. It brought a smile to his face. He had always saw himself as a monster, and his ability as a curse, but having someone willing, and not scared to be in there, made him feel… like he was a protector.  He always wanted to keep eddie safe, and now he could. 

Eddie stayed quiet as he felt Richie walking. He started moving around slowly, trying to see anything in the darkness that surrounded him. He crawled, pushing at Richies stomach walls, feeling the wet, squishy walls. 

It was extremely fascinating, he was probably the only person to be able to explore a stomach while it was still in process. 

Well, not the only person, Richie had eaten people before. He felt his face flush as he thought about it. Am I jealous? Why the fuck am I jealous of this?! Eddie sighed, it was probably because Richie was his boyfriend, and his boyfriend eating other people besides him doesn’t sound that great. 

Maybe I should ask that he could only eat me from now on, besides stuff like emergencies.

He entered the building, waving to the Waitress, who took him back to the table. The rest of the losers were still chatting, being loud and eating. 

“Holy shit finally!” Beverly spoke “I don’t even take that long to have a smoke” She laughed, “What were you two doing?” 

“Did you get L-Lost?” Bill jokingly asked. 

Richie shrugged, sitting back down at his seat, “Well I have to give my boyfriend a decent goodbye right?” 

Eddie froze at Richies words, before pushing on his stomach wall “What the fuck!” he wispered to himself, he didn’t expect Richie to say that, he expected after a few months Eddie would tell them, but no. he just blerted it out right then and there. 

He wasn’t mad richie told them, far from it, he was proud of the man for coming out now, for taking a stand and being true to himself.

The losers chuckled at Richies words, but Richie didn’t laugh, he just smiled slightly. Beverly’s eyes went wide, followed by the other losers.

“You’re not Joking?” Ben asked, Richie shook his head. Beverly looked like she was about to happy cry, Bill and Mike were just smiling like idiots. 

“It's not a big deal, come on guys.” Richie laughed awkwardly, “You guys didn’t cream yourselves when Ben and Beverly got together” 

Beverly stood up, and made a Beeline to Richie, giving him a huge hug, “I’m so happy for you both.”

Eddie Smiled, feeling Beverly hugging Richie, it was almost like she was hugging him too. He pressed a hand against Richies stomach wall, giving it a pat. 

“Why didn’t you say anything when Eddie was here?” Mike asked

“I don’t know, It didn’t come up”  Richie smirked, Beverly let go of him, going back to her seat. 

The losers quickly dropped the subject, moving on to other topics, other things to make fun of in Richies case, and Eddie listened in on all of it.  It was almost like he was there with them, when a question was asked he pretended to answer it. 

The best part is when he could hear Richies heartbeat quickens when he was embarrassed or energetic, and his voice all around him. Sure he would have to cover his ears when the man got too loud, but that didn’t bother him.

He felt so...safe. Even with the noises the stomach made every once in a while were more calming than scary. Before there was this fear in him, that one wrong move would turn him into human soup but now...they gave him a comforting feeling. 

It almost made him laugh out loud, how could a stomach be so calming. He wouldn’t be okay if it was anyone else's. Even if it was safe.  Maybe it was just Richie, being as close as possible to the man he loves. He lied against the stomach wall, massaging the organ as he did. 

The movement made Richie jolt, surprised at the feeling, it sent a chill up his spine, but in a good way. Discreetly, he brought his hand down to his stomach, massaging Eddie back. Who seemed to respond well, since he didn’t move away. 

“Alright” Mike spoke, bringing Richie out of his head, looking up at the man “I think it's late enough, I’m going back to the library to pack for Florida” 

“Woah Already?” Richie asked, it never occurred to him that they were gonna go back to their lives, he didn’t even think of what him and eddie were going to do, they lived in different states!

“Time waits for no man” Mike smiled, grabbing his things “we can all meet up for breakfast tomorrow, but after that, I’m on my flight” Richie nodded. 

“I know the best place to go” Ben smiled, looking at Beverly. 

The losers made plans for tomorrow, then said their goodbyes. Ben and Beverly going off on their own, Mike leaving with Bill, and Richie was left alone.

Well, not completely alone. 

 He walked back to his car, Patting his stomach with a cheeky grin on his face.“You awake in there Eddie Spaghetti” 

It was a moment or two of silence, then Eddie spoke with a sour tone “Never fucking call me that again”  Richie laughed, getting into his car. He didn't start the ignition right away, he just laid there with one hand on his belly. 

“What, you don’t like being compared to food?” Richie continued to tease “You basically are--”

Richies words were cut off with a kick to his spleen, Making him yelp out in pain, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t anywhere close to a love tap. 

“That was a warning.” Eddie spoke, Sounding childlike “do it again and I’ll kick you in the liver, trashmouth” 

Richie Laughed, he knew Eddie was bluffing, Eddie wouldn’t do any more damage without feeling bad. 

“Aw man, My livers gone through enough over the years”

As Richie drove home, the two bickered playfully, hurling backhand compliments and downright calling each other crude names, Richie probably looked crazy to everyone else on the highway, yelling and laughing to himself in all, but he really didn;t care. 

When Richie parked, he froze, a thought popping into his head, one he should have thought of before. “How are you gonna get to your room” 

“What?” Eddie crossed his arms at the strange question “What do you mean?” 

“How are we getting you to your room.” 

“You're gonna let me out dumbass” Eddie pushed on the wall, thinking Richie was messing with him. 

“Yeah ed’s, Just walk in covered in my saliva. Good idea” Richie hit his forehead, why hadn't the thought crossed his mind. 

The relization finally hit the tiny man, “fuck” he wasn’t thinking of that either  “Maybe just get me out in the bathroom? No, they wouldn’t see me enter… that would make them curious of where I came from… maybe you could distract them and I can sneak in quickly?” 

“Bold of you to assume you can enter a building quietly, you take 5 minutes to untie your shoes man. And if they didn’t turn around then, they would when the Stairs creaked, that place is like a hundred years old!” 

“Okay then what do we do?! I can’t walk into the house covered in slime, they’d think that...that there's another monster in Derry, I can’t let them stress like that.” 

Richie’s head lit up with an idea. “Eds say still.” 

“What?!”

“I’m getting you out, stay. Still.”

Eddie was quick to stop moving, letting Richie cough him up, as he was squished through the esophagus once more, he wondered what the man's plan was, and if it would even work. 

Richie cringed as Eddie entered his mouth once again, taking a deep breath and taking the man out of his mouth with two fingers. Eddie wiped the saliva off of his face, looking up at Richie with a skeptical look on his face, then shivered at the change in heat. 

“Okay” Richie whispered, his breath warming up Eddie in the process “I’m gonna bring you back to normal size, and you’re gonna play drunk, like whatever meeting you were at got you fucking wasted” 

“Okay what does that have to do with me covered in--” 

“As I was driving home I went by the barrens and saw you in the river, you were trying to walk home by yourself and fell in” 

“Wow, make me look like a total idiot” He crosses his arms, not liking the plan, but it would have to work. He didn’t have a better plan after all, begrudgingly, he agreed “fine.”

Richie placed Eddie onto the passenger seat, keeping a hand on him. Eddie felt a wave of dizziness came over him, and his eyes pulling shut, his brain felt immense pressure as he grew back to normal size. 

As soon as he was done, Richie hopped out of the car and moved to the other side door, opening it for Eddie

“We have to use your state as an advantage”

“What staTE!?”

 Eddie spoke as he got out of the car… or at least tried to. His legs had gotten used to the squishy, ‘ground’ of Richies stomach, he couldn’t walk right. As he slipped, Richie caught him, helping the man stand up normally by puting Eddies arm over his shoulder.

As richie slowly brought eddie to the door, he quietly spoke “Action” 

The doors to the town house opened, and just as Richie suspected, the Losers were in the main room, drinking and talking loudly, though they paused at Eddies state. 

His legs shaking, hair sticking out in random places, he was soaked. His eyes were semi-closed due to the amount of light hitting his face, which helped with his facade. 

“Holy shit” Ben broke the silence, “what happened to you?!” 

“Oh hey Ben” Eddie spoke, faking a slur in his words, making ben look to richie for answers with a confused and worried look. 

“I found him in the barrens, drunk off his ass”  richie shrugged with a half smile on his face, he hoped it looked normal and not what it really was, him trying not to laugh

“What the hell was he doing there?” Bill chimed in “did you see anything Eddie?”

Eddie panicked at the question, how was he supposed to answer that? Bill was alluding to IT being back, and Eddie didn’t want to falsely worry the losers. 

“I was TRYING to get home!” Eddie spoke louder, right in richies ear. He pulled Eddie to the staircase, helping him up them slowly 

“Okay well I’m gonna get him into bed.”  the losers just shared looks, nodding and saying goodnight.

When the losers voices slowly died down as they went upstairs, Eddies walking became more normal, and he didn’t need Richie to hold him like a ragdoll. The two started laughing at each other quietly. 

“I can’t believe your stupid plan worked” Eddie whispered, opening the door to the bathroom, he couldn’t wait to get cleaned up and be slime-less again. Richie let go of Eddie, letting the man go and take a shower, which Eddie did, closing the door quickly and the shower turning on a second later. 

Richie just went to his room, Laying down on the bed, placing a hand on his stomach, he wasn’t even hungry anymore, but he still wanted Eddie in there. Was this going to be their new normal? Or was this just a one time thing? 

His questions flew in his mind going a mile a minute, and he didn’t even realize when Eddie came to Riches room, In sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. 

“Richie” Eddie spoke, but the other man seemed to be lost in his thoughts “Richie!” 

Richie jumped out of his thoughts, turning to Eddie with a smile “Oh...hey” Eddie crossed his arms, walking over to Richie.

“So… tonight” Richie sat up, holding himself up with his arms, laying back.

“Richie I’m tired can you make fun of me tomorr-”

“Thank you.” Eddie paused at richies tone, the last thing the man expected was richie thanking him “I probably would’ve gone crazy without you. And you don’t need to do it again if you don’t want to.” 

“Who said I don’t want to?” Eddie blurted out, turning a bit red. “I mean, it's not terrible, and I want to be there for you.” Eddie slightly pushed richie, crossing his legs as he sat down on the bed next to richie “And If you wanted to do it again, I’d be fine with that.” 

“Really?” 

“Well, yeah. It's not bad,” Eddie laughed as he said this, knowing it was absurd to say being eaten was not bad, implying that it was good “ sure it's a little gross when you let me out, but I can deal with it, I’ve been covered in worse” 

Richie nodded, but didn’t speak, truth be told he had no idea what to say. thanks? No thats dumb. Cool? That's too casual. 

Kiss? Yeah fuck it.

He gave Eddie a small kiss, the man returning it instantaneously , the chill of Eddie's soft lips sending a shiver down his spine. Eddie’s stange vanilla taste  combination was back, and it made Richie's heart flutter 

“Y’know, you taste really good”  Richie pulled away licking his lips, still really close to Eddies face. Eddie gave him a look of confusion, but also curiosity.

“Does… everyone have a taste?” 

“When they’re not covered in dirt or sweat yeah.” then Eddie asked what other people taste like “Mostly just dirt and sweat, I never really got anyone willing, so they were either running away and getting dirty, or sweating out of fear.” 

As he spoke, his voice went down, sounding a bit guilty “I didn’t like scaring people, but i knew the consequences if I didn’t do anything. At least you’re weren’t scared” he let out an exasperated laugh.

Eddie just nodded, grabbing hold of Richies hand, “so...What did I taste like?”

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

@glennatohowerton

42. “Why are you shaking?”

64. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.”

It was 3:27 am, the last time Dennis checked his watch, which meant that Mac has been out for approximately 6 hours.

 He was on a date with some  asshole named Sean, who appeared from the grindr profile that Mac had gleefully waved in his face over their shared cartons of Chinese takeout earlier that night, to be all of 25 years old, and, undeniably, a total beefcake. When Dennis  had made some snide remark about the kid probably needing to be home in time for curfew, Mac had just laughed it off in between mouthfuls of vegetable lo mein (stolen from Dennis’s plate), his eyes scrunching up at the edges. It made him look younger, somehow, vulnerable.  Dennis had stared at the table.

Mac had bounced out the door donning a dark green t-shirt, sheer and fitted so it clung to his muscles.  Mac’s hair was soft, ruffled, and he looked more confident and at ease than Dennis had seen him in  years, casting a bright  smile over his shoulder while Dennis not to wait up for him.  Dennis had nodded. Dennis had counted the beer stains on the beige living room carpet. Dennis had thrown a mug against the wall. Dennis had cut his fingers picking up the tiny pieces of china that covered the kitchen floor. Dennis had paced the length of the apartment over and over for approximately 45 minutes.

Inevitably,  Dennis finds himself awake in the middle of the goddamn night, taking generous swigs from a bottle of whiskey he had unearthed from the depths of the kitchen cabinet, and flipping aimlessly through channels featuring scantily clad women on a quest to find their soulmate while jump-starting their model careers and rich housewives whose faces were more plastic than flesh and bone- who talked too much but said nothing. He ultimately settled on some nature channel showing a series that documented different species of birds. Tonight, they were talking about blue jays, he noticed, watching as one of the stern-looking little  birds soared across his screen to settle on a tree branch next to another.

Blue jays mate for life, apparently. Dennis hadn’t known that.  The soft drone of the narrator served as adequate background noise for Dennis’s increasingly loud, alcohol-fueled thoughts.

It was fucking ridiculous, really. Dennis knew Mac had been with men in the past, so he really shouldn’t be so fixated on the happenings of Mac’s date. For all the grief Dennis gives him, he realizes that Mac is an objectively attractive man, and now that he’s happily out of the closet,  there’s no reason he shouldn’t be out playing the field, catching up on the feelings and experiences he’d pretended not to want for the past thirty years, embracing the parts of himself he’d tucked carefully away from the outside world (or only acknowledged in the dim backrooms of seedy bars, caught in the middle of glittering crowds of moving bodies on the dance floor, drunk enough for a moment that he forgot what he was so afraid of in the first place, under some spell  that inevitably broke the next morning. This thought makes Dennis’s chest constrict sharply, a dull, aching feeling he can’t quite pinpoint).

But now, Mac was healing. Mac was growing. Mac was out with a man with dimples and a six pack who was probably laughing at all of his stupid jokes, touching his arms lightly as he leaned in to whisper something in his ear, making Mac’s cheeks flush and his eyes gleam in the same way they would whenever Dennis would dole out a rare compliment or words of praise.  Mac was out with a man who presumably had a career and goals and real adult relationships, who could wake up in the morning and eat three meals a day like it was nothing, who would probably call Mac baby when he’s sober and let Mac hold his hand; someone who wouldn’t lash out at him with unnecessarily sharp words, but would make him feel good about himself,  who would give him Valentine’s presents and stay to make him breakfast in the morning. Mac would like that, Dennis thought.

Dennis pictures Mac as he always looked first thing in the morning padding quietly out of his bedroom blurry eyed and sleep-soft, expression warming when he lays eyes on Dennis. Imagines someone else seeing him like that every day. Dennis thinks of getting drunk with Mac, leaning heavily against his shoulder on countless late night walks home from the bar, peering up under his lashes to catch a glimpse of Mac’s face; his gelled hair falling messily across his forehead, mouth open in concentration on getting them both home in one piece. The smell of his old leather jacket mixing with his dollar store shampoo and cologne samples ripped from men’s magazines, his arm tightening around his waist when Dennis inevitably stumbled over an empty beer bottle or groove in the sidewalk.

He thinks of Mac as a teenager: the two of them sitting silently in his room after his father went to prison for the second time, Mac’s arms circled tight around knees, his gaze fixed vacantly on the paint peeling off his bedroom wall, sitting closely enough that the outside of their thighs just touched. He thinks of Mac as he might be when he’s older, with more specks of gray painting his dark hair, more wrinkles around his eyes, but with the same unchanging, almost childish smile.Thinks again of Mac dating, maybe even getting married, someday. Growing old with someone.

At this point, Dennis realizes he is having difficulty breathing, his breaths coming out shorter and quicker than they normally would, his heart beating so loudly  he swears it echoes in his ears. The adrenaline sets in. Dennis goes to take another swig of whiskey to calm himself down, before he notices the bottle is empty. Fuck.  He immediately senses that has to get out. He has to get out of this fucking apartment and flee to somewhere, anywhere else. He is vaguely considering going to the 7-11 down the street to pick up a 12 pack of beerbeer, and at least burn off all this weird fucking nervous energy when his thoughts are interrupted by sound of the front door opening.

Mac’s moving as quietly as possible, as if trying not to wake anyone up. Painted in the yellow light from the hallway, he kicks his shoes off and gently sets his keys on the kitchen counter, before he notices Dennis sitting on the sofa.

“Jesus Christ, Dude!  I had no idea you were awake,” he all but squawks “Fuck, man, you almost gave me a heart attack”

“Sorry,” Dennis offers, tonelessly.

Mac exhales through a tired grin, stifling a yawn with his fist as he steps closer to Dennis,  flinging himself into a chair opposite the couch and stretching his arms over his head. Dennis’s gaze lingers the curve of his upper arm, his fingers resting lightly against the back of the chair.

“Oh man, at first I was super worried I was gonna get catfished, and it was gonna turn out to be like a  gross old woman or some shit like you see on tv, you know?” Mac makes a disgusted face, lip curling up dramatically before laughing. “But then I get to the Rainbow and it turns out Sean is like. An actual personal trainer, and he sells his own line of like, protein shakes, I think?  And like, I’m pretty ripped dude, but I mean this dude is absolutely shredded, like way more bigger in person than the pictures.”

As Mac proceeds to talk more about his date (who apparently had been very interested in watching Mac’s Project Badass tapes, though Dennis expected this was mostly to get into his pants), Dennis finds his focus drifting.  Mac has a stray piece of glitter decorating the skin just above the collar of his t-shirt, Dennis notices absently, glimmering mildly in the faintly lit room, and drawing attention to the part of his body where the meat of his neck meets collarbone, surprisingly delicate.

Dennis looks down at the floor, then forces his eyes back on the tv screen, barely registering  the shapes of the tiny, brightly colored creatures collecting twigs to build their nest together. Vaguely, Dennis wonders what would happen  if something went wrong. If nature maybe fucks up now and then and one of the birds can’t figure out how to build nests properly, was born without the instinct, or just doesn’t know what to do when the time comes, and he fucks it all up? What happens to him then? Does he just fly away?

Mac must notice that something is off, because he stops talking.

“Dennis. Dennis dude, are you okay?” He looks genuinely confused, as his gaze skates across Dennis’s face. Suddenly his eyes widen, his brow creasing with worry.

“Dennis? Why are you shaking?”

Was he? Dennis hadn’t noticed.

“I’m going to get you a blanket, man. Just wait here a second.” Mac’s wringing his hands, biting his lip as he stares at him earnestly,  like he does when he realizes Dennis hasn’t eaten all day or when Dennis finally emerges from the bathroom after having locked himself inside for the better part of the night.

The softness, the sincerity of the expression makes something in Dennis snap, and all he hears is static electricity, all he sees is red.  Just as Mac  turns to go get the blanket from his room, Dennis calls out to him:

“So fucking typical isn’t it? You’re so desperate for affection you’ll open your legs for  the first decently attractive person who gives you the time of day, as if they actually give a shit about you” he punctuates the sentence with a cold, strangely strangled sounding laugh, schooling his expression into one of mock pity.

“ Anyway, this guy was probably just bored, looking for a quick lay to kill some time. Absolutely pathetic.”

Mac freezes from his position in the doorway, his back stiffening, and Dennis’s entire body goes suddenly cold with dread. But Mac just stands there, with his back to Dennis, as the seconds tick unbearably onward.

“Come on!” Dennis croaks, desperate now to evoke some kind of reaction. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything!”

Mac turns slowly back to face Dennis, and when he does, Dennis sees an array of emotions plastered on his face; there’s pain etched into his features, and anger, but worst of all there’s this strange acceptance, like he had half expected Dennis to lash out like this, like he’s had years and years of practice. His voice is carefully controlled when he speaks next.

“Yeah, well, if I’m so pathetic, if I’m so desperate, then why the fuck did you come back in the first place? We were finally starting to get back to normal or like, I don’t know maybe an even better version of normal when you waltzed back in without any kind of explanation or apology for leaving us alone for over a year, Dennis.” Mac’s voice cracks, the way it does when he talks about his dad in prison, the way it does when he can’t but help but allow his carefully maintained facade of toughness to drop for just a moment.

Dennis sits frozen still, stunned. He wasn’t expecting this. He doesn’t know what he expected. Dennis doesn’t know if he’s imagining it, but Mac’s eyes are glossy when he continues

“There were… weeks, Dennis. When I couldn’t get out of bed, when Charlie would come to make sure I was….” he flounders  “to make sure I was okay. And even after that I was trying so hard not to think about it I did so much stupid shit just trying to forget about y-to forget about it ” He clears his throat, raises his head slightly to look Dennis in the eye. “I was in a really bad place, man.  You leaving didn’t just affect you.” He pauses, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes. Dennis swallows, suddenly, against, a growing lump forming in his throat.

“And now you’re back and you keep talking about how much you hate me, or how annoying I am, or how much you wish you didn’t live with me?” he chuckles bitterly. “So what I’m having a hard time understanding is- why? Why, Dennis? Why did you leave your kid and your cushy life with Mandy and come back to Philly, back to our home if I’m so goddamn terrible?”

Mac has these bright pink splotches  high on his cheeks, his chest heaving with barely restrained emotion.

Dennis is paralyzed. He wants to flee. He wants to reach out and touch Mac. He wants to become as small as humanly possible, so small that no other person can ever see him again. He feels wetness forming on his cheeks, has no idea how it got there.

Mac’s body visibly deflates as he takes in the scene before him. He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck for a long moment, features softening. Moving quickly, he steps closer to Dennis, reaching out to touch him, hand  hovering near his shoulder before he thinks better and it drops to its side.

“Fuck, man. It’s late.” he forces a watery laugh, hand running through his own hair. “We’re just tired, saying shit we don’t mean.” He won’t quite meet Dennis’s eyes. “I’m going to go get you that blanket.”

Mac exits the room, and swiftly returns with the soft blue flannel blanket from his own bed, wrapping it loosely around Dennis’s shoulders with gentle, careful movements. He sits next to Dennis on the couch, leaving enough space that their legs don’t touch, but Dennis can still feel some of the warmth radiating from his body.

“Did you know that blue jays mate for life?” Dennis asks, abruptly. Mac pauses in his fussing with the blanket to lean back enough to look into Dennis’s eyes, cautious and confused. His whole face shifts, like he’s on the brink of something, but can’t fully bring himself to understand exactly what’s taking place.

“What? I don’t-” he starts

“Their whole life,” Dennis manages, feebly maintaining eye contact, his nails digging into his own thigh as he forces himself onward. He chokes on his words for a minute before continuing.  “ It’s just the one.”

“Dennis,” Mac breathes, his eyes wide with confusion, and fear, and something that looks suspiciously like hope. He reaches out and this time grabs Dennis’s hand where its curled into his thigh, squeezes it tight. “You’re okay. Dennis,  it’s going to be okay.”

And for the first time,  Dennis thought, maybe it was.

[jlf23tumble]

1D Day: Hour Four

Over the past few years, I’ve seen people try to insinuate that Zayn wasn’t into 1D Day, that he was moody or distant or some other adjective that implies he was on his way out the door, and to those people I ask, did you actually watch any of this, especially hour four? I mean, seriously, watch Zayn over the course of the whole day, but hour four is a revelation if you’ve ever had that notion. He’s witty, charming, happy, smiley, completely on board with every stupid game, and so professional with the fans and the rest of the team that he makes Liam look like an asshole (and Liam is so very far from being an asshole, like, ever). 

In fact, both Zayn and Liam are naturals as hosts; they’re a dream broadcasting team, and for all the (justified, mind you) attitude Louis and (especially) Harry throw down as the day progresses, it’s the complete polar opposite with Ziam. I could watch hours and hours of these two because they manage to convey that fake on-air TV personality chirpiness with a sincerity that’s endlessly compelling. They’re also off-the-charts HOT on this here day (Louis, too, but Jesus CHRIST have mercy on us in hour four). Let’s break it down under the cut.

Hour four kicks off with Zayn and Liam skateboarding onto the set, and Liam is honestly me with his plaintive “I’m really rubbish at skateboarding” as he basically stands on a board that somebody literally pushed in a straight line into the shot.

Zayn’s all excited that this is his first hour (like, he’s literally pumped up for it, and some could argue that he’s as coked up as Harry appears to be, but he’s not as aggressive, he just seems legit happy to be there). Liam’s an old pro by now, and the general mood is positive and calm, in spite of the mega fuckups in hour three and the immediate in-ear issues they’re both already experiencing. Help, they're so hot:

The first segment is about invention ideas from fans, and joining them in the Google+ Hangout (lmaoooo) is Peter Jones (Liam: “a very rich man”) from Dragon’s Den, aka the UK’s Shark Tank, and for all of his cash and presumably all of the D’s, this feels VERY low rent. Way to sell this Google ad, team…maybe that’s why Google+ is a total failure, hmmmm, makes you think. Anyway, the first invention is a 1D Kube, and noah fence to this fan, I’ve made better merch, c’mon, people think outside the box:

Because Peter’s gross, he suggests using nude body parts of the boys instead of their faces, and me as Liam, completely creeped out by that suggestion. The next idea is a 1D pillow, where you go to sleep, and the pillow pipes two 1D songs directly into your brain before powering itself off, but Liam wisely says this might be more distracting than soothing. Peter’s right there with the idea that it should instead offer up soothing pillowtalk (Zayn, take notes!), which instantly worries both me and Liam because it’s weirdly sexi instead of sexy sexi.

The final invention is fart pants, which boils down to deodorized boxers for people like Niall who practically shit themselves when they fart in closed tour buses (paraphrasing). Naturally, Peter likes this idea a LOT, and asks Liam a low-key invasive question about someone stealing his underwear, which leads to a riveting tale of the missing pants and a nervous Liam asking Peter exactly how he knew about this incident. Peter laughs it off as something he found online to embarrass Liam with, but try harder, asshole…they answer worse questions than this before breakfast.

Next, we get Julian “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name,” one of the D’s cowriters, in a cringe VT about picking up girls with 1D lyrics. It’s so fucking gross that only Ben Winston could have come up with it, and it goes on FOREVER, even though nothing about it is interesting or cute or witty or anything other than tedious yikes for the women involved. Even Julian knows it’s creepy, and he seems like a guy who’s pretty comfortable with creepy.

We get back in the studio to some actually attractive people who have chemistry together, and, no, it’s not Julian and John “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name either” (they make sure to sit far enough apart to maintain their extreme masculinity):

Liam has some good interview questions for these two, such as, “What’s your favorite song that you wrote on for this album,” and John thinks he’s clever by saying it’s both “Little Black Dress” and “Little White Lies,” but the real gem here is the audio of Liam creating “Better Than Words” out of thin air. Look at this fondness while we all listen to Liam’s genius (it’s kind of embarrassing, this whole bit):

We move to fan selfies, and Liam does a terrible Irish accent to request potato selfies for Niall. Moving on to the call box of doom, the two Larries currently rocking out in there seem to dig “Strong” the best (as you do), and Zayn, valiantly battling someone in his ears, politely whispers, “You can crack on listening,” before shutting the door softly.

The VT of randomness from New Zealand prompts Liam to ask, “Zayn, what did you get up to in New Zealand?” (the answer is getting a snake tattoo that’s one of Liam’s favorites on him, in case you’re wondering). But before we can ponder any of that too closely, it’s time for opera singer Rebecca to return for the excruciating opera version of tweets.

Scott’s on the scene to point out the obvious, i.e., Ziam makes it all look so easy, but this next segment is not for the faint of heart. The boys have to blindfold each other (!!) and then feel up crew members to see if they can identify them. Whyyyyy is this so tender:

Someone else blindfolds Liam after he does Zayn (Liam, after it’s done: “Nobody touch me”), and there’s a brief moment where they can feel each other, and Zayn says, “That’s you, Liam,” and fuckkkk me up, wowwww, it’s a lot to take in:

 Anyway, they go on to feel up a lot of doughy white guys to see if they can blindly identify them, and AGAIN, it’s gross because Scott keeps encouraging them to feel this person up below the waist, too (note, they don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl). Fortunately, it’s a parade of doughy white guys until they get to Lou Teasdale, and Zayn identifies her immediately because she’s so fidgety.

We head over to another Google Hangout, and god, words cannot express how good Ziam is at this because even though the same shit happens here as it does in the last hour, these two handle it all like pros. I live for Zayn’s, “Have you been watching the whole show? Are we doing a good job?” with an intense amount of sincerity, and thank god these girls give him the thumbs up because they truly are.

My fave part of this segment is the girls who ask them what their first CD and concerts were. Liam says Linkin Park for CD and Gareth Gates for concert, which earns him boos from the homophobes in the studio, but warm hugs from me. Zayn, who answers this fan question to Liam instead of the girls who asked it, says he can’t remember his first CD, but his first gig was JLS with the boys, and wow, the first date realness here:

Zayn’s genuinely sweet throughout all of these fan segments, asking questions and being invested in the answers, dawwww. The last question is about where they get the inspiration for their dance moves, and Liam says he blags its, but Zayn is here to kill us all by saying, “My inspiration for dancing comes from you, Liam (Louis in the background: “hahahahaha”) because you’re such a good dancer,” and god, I’m not ready for this right now, tbh.

There’s a BSE VT from the fans before a bingo spin to figure out who to follow (again, just follow them all, what does it even matter at this point, ratcha fratcha). But the most annoying part of this bit is that even *I* can hear the in-air buzz of chatter from Ben’s team, so I cannot even imagine how annoying it is in actual ears, holy fuck.

Next up is a live link to Finland, to say hello to the fans who created a massive fanbook that Zayn carefully flips through and sincerely thanks everyone for creating. The VT he introduces next is Louis playing footie, and YES, look at this angel who’s only 22:

Naturally, there are LOADS of technical problems and fuckups, but it’s so refreshing to hear that “hahahahaha” in a massive, empty arena, and to see him practicing a sport he clearly loves.

We’re back with the poor bastards running the Guinness Book of World Records, this time with Liam’s ass smashing balloons (Zayn: “If he wins, do we get our names put down as well?”). The first time is a bust (ha) that ends up hurting Liam’s balls (how, I don’t know):

Everyone agrees they can do better, but Zayn’s not having any further fuckups as he literally coaches Sandy in the background about how best to hold the balloons so that Liam’s ass can smash them in the most efficient manner:

Sadly, it’s not enough to smash the record, much to everyone’s chagrin, but there’s no time to fret or redo, we're off to Stan teaching Zayn’s school to sing (ooops, the VT is incorrect, it’s Scott teaching the X Factor staff to sing “What Makes Your Beautiful,” and they’re the shittiest singers ever, so go off on judging people, I guess).

As per usual, the highlights are fucking horrific. Can’t wait for hour five!

[ninjacat1515]

Can this site stop hating men so much? They’re not the evil, irredeemable trash you claim them to be. FUCKING STOP IT.

It’s gross and abhorrent. According to this site, every man and boy is a horrible rapist and abuser who should die, and I’m so fucking tired of it.

Women are not perfect, flawless angels who can cause no harm. Stop acting like it. Hold women accountable when they do horrible things. Hold them accountable when they abuse. Hold them accountable when they cross lines.

Stop coddling them and turning the other cheek when they do shit. And shut the fuck up about how much you hate men. You’re a terrible excuse for a human being.

I wouldn’t put it past the OPs of those posts to laugh at male victims of violence, abuse and rape. They would cheer it on, while praising the abuser/perpetrator if said person happened to be a woman or girl.

They would see a boy being beaten and dragged by his mother or older female sibling and most likely smile. Saying “he deserved it because he’s a male”

I’m genuinely curious as to what those fucking OPs would do in a situation like that. This site is horrible on many levels...Jesus fucking Christ.

[frankierohugejorts]

ALSO i rly can't get over how fucking misogynistic Natasha's treatment was in that movie. ik this has been talked to death over the last 4yrs, but like Jesus fucking Christ. the scene where Bruce falls on her and lands face first in her boobs for laffs and she's just a prop the fact that she is repeatedly damsel in distressed despite being pretty much the most capable operative in the entire world the "I can't have children. you think you're the only one who's a monster?" bit (bc, as everyone knows, motherhood is the only thing that gives women humanity) the fact that they show flashbacks to her childhood where she was brainwashed and tortured and trained to be a murderer from as far back as she can remember, and basically the only thing she's shown to be upset abt is the fact that she was sterilized the fact that for some reason she's the one in charge of calming down the hulk (bc she's the only woman on the team, therefore she must be the nurturing one) even tho in a1 the hulk was literally the ONLY thing she expressed fear of the fact that they shoved her into a weird foundationless love story for absolutely no reason the fact that for some reason, hyper-practical Natasha was like "hey Bruce ik that the extent of our romantic relationship is some flirting that u mostly thought was a joke, but what if we ignore this world ending disaster that only we can prevent, and just run away together instead?" the fact that they made her go from vague flirting that was probably a joke to weirdly genuine sounding "I wish I could've joined you in the shower" with literally nothing in between to bridge that gap during the main fight tony made a joke abt Nat and Bruce running off in the middle of the fight for a quick fuck!! and it was gross! and unnecessary! and rly seemed even less necessary based on what stage their relationship was in at that point the fact that they straight up tried to force the bed sharing trope! apparently enough ppl were at the farm that they'd have to double up on rooms (which I don't buy) and laura was like "we should stick her and Bruce together bc clearly they're into each other" which is like. they've definitely not reached that point yet. and then Clint somehow agrees to that? and apparently it's Clint and Laura's choice who rooms together, instead of allowing the group to decide who's actually comfortable sharing? (also like this is just me, but it seems like Nat and Steve would probably be better roommates? bc they're coming right off the tail end of catws now, they are officially Bros. or maybe (assuming the bed's big enough) Steve and Thor? they've got that like brothers-in-arms both-from-a-different-time bond developing, they'd probably be chill abt it. or like. lbh nat's small so she's probably the one most likely to fit comfortably on a couch so give her the couch. hell u can even make Bruce and tony bunk together if u gotta, since they're the ones who aren't huge dudes who're too big to share a bed but they're also both bigger than Nat and more likely to not fit on the couch. by size alone they're probably ur best bet for bunkmates. really there were so many options besides forcing Nat and Bruce into a situation they both seemed weird abt) the fact that the moment where she was most forthright with her feelings was when she was manipulating Bruce to pull out the hulk? and like. the part where she was being flirty but also seemed like she was joking around was described as "I've seen Natasha flirt. that wasn't it". and like. I get it. Natasha's a spy. she's rly good at making fake emotions seem real and probably v bad at making real emotions seem real. that could've been a neat little bit of character development. but like. the only time it seemed like she was expressing genuine with no ulterior motive it came off fake as hell! and not even like she was faking it, just like the writer had written it w/o caring if it was ooc or not. also we somehow never get her actual thoughts on it??? a good chunk of the time on the subject is just other ppl being like "wow she's totally into him." the first flirting scene and the "i adore you" scene are both times when her motives/real feelings can't be entirely parsed bc of context. the main scene where she talks abt it is so weird bc part of it still sounds like she's kidding around and the other part is ooc nonsense where the woman who just wants to wipe out the red in her ledger wants to just run from a fight for the continued existence of the world that can't be won without her? where's Natasha's little chat where she considers her relationship with Bruce, like Bruce has with Steve? we don't get any instance of Natasha's feelings outside the context of her interacting directly with Bruce, and even then we don't have an ic instance of her guard being let at all down. idek I'm just really mad and I'm going to fucking throttle joss whedon

[dorksideoftheforce]

It really fucks me up how people always check other people’s crotches now to see if they have a dick print or not like this is really random and gross but I’m so serious. Like I was pantsed the other day or dick checked and it was ridiculously obvious and they lost their shit about it and changed the subject to how when they went to church last weekend or whatever, there were transgender people in the pews and the pastor literally called them out and said “you transgender people need to get out of the house of the Lord” and I’m over here like O.O First of all, we are all children of the Lord. He wasn’t just for the people who go to church because a lot of the time, the people who claim they follow God are actually false prophets who have a second adgenda and Jesus was there for the immigrants, the poor people, the LGBTQIA people, women, everybody. More and more there are people out here who are doing their hardest to separate others from who Jesus actually is. Throwing people out of spaces where you claim to believe in Jesus is not a place where Jesus would be. Dick checking people is fucked up and people are really fucked up but what’s really fucked up is that people are out here trying to make other people afraid and not go to God anymore because of who they are.

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Don’t let anybody out there make you feel like you don’t belong here. Protect your souls. The Devil is working overtime to turn people against one another. I know this is random and a lot of people will either skip this because you don’t believe in God but please, understand that Jesus isn’t awful. I literally attempted suicide and felt my soul leave my body and I can’t stress enough how I should have been either dead or a vegetable but I felt like I was wrapped up in the most loving hug I’ve ever been given in my entire life and I felt calmer than I’ve ever felt too. You are loved. You are not a mistake. You are not a burden. You are meant to be here. You are meant to live a life where you are free to make the choices you choose to make. Believe and be, it’s up to you. We only control so much but your reaction and stuff is up to you but just learn from things and grow and be kind to others because the most important thing to take away from all of this is simply to love others which is actually both the hardest and easiest thing to do because a lot of people don’t know what that means to truly Love one another but I pray we all figure out what hat means and that are able to experience real, genuine, healthy Love that makes us all want to be the best people we can be. That we heal from everything and Love, really Love. Don’t let anybody take your soul. Protect it.

Much Love to you, always.

[anaomynous]

Imagine: James McAvoy

Request: James McAvoy falling in love with you, his director for the new X-Men movie.

Getting into this industry, I never knew how difficult some aspects of it was. I was told 3 things, 1) Always have everything under control 2) Keep a professional distance from everyone 3) Never, ever, ever, ever fall in love with your actors. How did I manage to obliterate all 3 of those rules in one movie. This movie was going to be amazing, one of the best in the X Men series and I knew that. I was smug about it, to be quite honest with you, however, I never expected myself to fall so madly in love with the famous actor; James McAvoy in the process. Him and I were so flirty with each other. every second of the day. when we were around each other. It had always been that way since day one. Him making glances at me from over his shoulder, him buying me coffee and remembering just the way I like it. He paid such careful attention, to every meticulous detail of my life. He was also one of the most, genuinely nice men I had ever met, it took me back a bit. Everyone said he had that “Scottish charm.” Which was annoying to think that he possibly was just a natural flirt, and not interested in me by any means. He was gorgeous, he could have anyone he wanted really, so it wouldn’t make any sense for him to waste his time with me, now would it? After a long day of shooting for 12 hours, we finally got a few days off. James had invited me out with him that night and I had assumed that it was just something that the crew was doing, getting together at a bar. I walked in, to see Jennifer Lawrence, and Michael Fassbender all sitting at the bar with James. “Y/N!” They all said in unison, lifting shot glasses up at me. I could tell that all 3 of them were buzzed. Jennifer immediately coming up to me and putting her arm around my shoulders “You are doing so well, and we wanted to show you that we love you, by celebrating!” Both Michael and James cheered, after Jennifer’s announcement “To Y/N and being the best god damn director in the industry! She’s also the coolest, and drinks with us!” They all clinked their shot glasses and threw them back. My face turned as red, as a tomato. “James will not stop talking about you, get it,” Whispered Jennifer into my ear, before gently bumping me into James. “Oh, sorry!” I exclaimed, widening my eyes at Jennifer, who winked at me. James chuckled “Oh it’s quite alright, Y/N, sit next to me,”  I sat in the empty bar stool next to him, and he handed me a cocktail. It was a Blue Hawaiian, which was my favorite. My jaw dropped and I smiled at him “How did you remember this was my favorite ?!” I exclaimed. He chuckled, “I pay close attention to a lot of things you would not expect. I started to sip my drink as James got closer to me, to speak over the music “Did I tell you look absolutely stunning,” My face felt warm, wasn’t sure if it was from the compliment, the alcohol, or a little bit of both. I shook my head “Me?! Don’t you tease me, I look awful and I know it.” James shook his head in response to my answer “Stop it, you’re beautiful,” “James this room is full of beautiful women, I mean, look at Jennifer fucking Lawrence right there. You could have your pick of any of them,” “But I’m only looking at you,” He said, staring at me with his intense, sky blue eyes. We both looked at each other in silence, before I broke it to drink down the cocktail I was given. After about 6 drinks in, I was on the same level as everyone else. This bars drinks were good, but way strong. James put his hand on the curve of my spine, him noticeably drunk more so than earlier. “Tell me this love, how come you and me never went on any dates? Or have yet to,” “Oh you stop it,” “No seriously! How come? Am I ugly, is my nose too big?” “Jesus Christ, hell no, you are incredibly handsome,” He smiled at me not expecting that answer “Well, thank you, that’s very flattering.” He said as he became very bashful, avoiding eye contact with me for a moment, then continued on with his statement,

 “Anyways, is it because I am annoying?” “No!” I yelled out “I’m too skinny, is that it?” “No, you have the perfect boy type!” “Aww thank you, but still. Then why not, Y/N?” I noticed his hand still lingered on my back, and I blushed. He was totally coming onto me. And he wasn’t being a gross, flirty, pig with everyone else who had a pussy in the room. He had his eyes locked onto me, watching every movement I made, smiling at me, laughing at all my jokes, listening to every thing I said effortlessly. He was truly being sweet, and really was expressing an interest. “Well,” I started, grabbing onto the new drink in front of me “I mean you’re so beautiful, like a model, way out of my league, I’m just a director. I’m no movie star, or model. I don’t have thighs that don’t touch,  or a belly that isn’t perfectly flat. Plus, actors and directors getting together? Hollywood sees it as a little taboo. It just… I don’t know. I didn’t want to dim your shine if you were truly interested in me, being seen with me would probably rouse a few questions of your sanity.” I said, taking a long sip of my drink after I finished. “Y/N, how ridiculous. That’s total bullshit. Listen to me, I’m not like that at all, and besides you are way more than you give yourself credit for. You’re way prettier than most women that are around in Hollywood, and it’s a natural beauty, a classic beauty. You’re so beautiful, that you remind me of Marilyn Monroe, some sort of pin up girl, with beautiful, hourglass curves. How could you ever see yourself as less than that? I wish you would see yourself, as I see you, it would change your mind on everything you just said, just now,” I didn’t know what to say, or if I should say anything,  and before I could respond, I felt my eyes welling up with tears. I had never had someone describe me like that before, this is someone who had taken the time to pay attention to my appearance… "But what would people think?" I asked James in a serious tone. He got closer to me "I don't give a fuck," We were cut off, when Jennifer started to get obnoxious, before I could speak we were both surprised by her loud laughter. “Jennifer you need to quiet down, people are staring,” “Fuck them, I don’t care! Don’t be the ruiner of fun, Michael Fassbender!” She yelled, with a loud laugh. “I am not! I just want to prevent your career turning into Lindsey Lohan’s darling! Let’s go back to the hotel!” James and I both laughed at Michael’s answer to how Jennifer was being before Paying for everything and walking down the street to where we were staying with Mike and Jennifer. It was way early in the morning, hardly anyone out on the streets, lucky for us. We had no body guards with us, we could totally get mugged out here. Goosebumps covered my skin, as I realized how awfully cold it was out here. “Oh, my goodness love. Here,” James hurriedly placed his jacket over my  shoulders, then put his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him. “It’s really unnecessary we are literally right down the street,” “I don’t want you to be cold!” He said with a smile, “Plus it gives me an excuse to hold you close,” He winked at me, as I laughed, a smirk going across his face, him biting his bottom lip. We arrived at the hotel, Jennifer was in tower 1, I was in tower 2. “We gotta take them in 2 separate elevators,” Said James. Michael nodded and pulled Jennifer into the elevator “Say 'bye, bye, Michael is saving my reputation and acting career!'" Jennifer pushed him away from her, and waved at us with a smile, we all laughed at them, before the doors closed and they were gone. James helped me into the elevator to get to my room, both of us staying a bit quiet the whole way up. I went to walk right out of the doors, as I said a quick goodnight to James quickly. He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me back inside the elevator “Where do you think you are off to without telling me a proper goodbye, miss? And stealing my jacket?" He said with a huge smile. I looked up at me, and he walked closer towards me, backing me up against the wall of the elevator, getting extremely close to me, so close I could feel his warm breath on my lips. The elevator doors closed and he smirked at me “Can I please kiss you?” He asked his voice in a whisper, his lips brushing mine as he spoke. I slowly nodded, his eyes darted from mine, to my lips, 2 or 3 times, before he finally pressed his full lips, into mine. 

He placed his hand on the side my neck, intensifying the kiss, pulling me closer into each movement he made. My lips moved with his, fitting together with them perfectly, like a puzzle piece. His breathing got heavier, as my own did as well, before we parted from each other. “Well, I better get you to your room, Y/N,” He said with a teasing smile, grabbing onto my hand and letting me lead him to it. I sloppily, stumbled as I found the room, and fumbled with the room key, sliding it into the door, before letting him and myself in, He looked around the room “Wow, you have such a nice view!” He said excitedly, looking through the big window I had, a perfect view of all the best parts of Hollywood. “I’m fairly certain I’ve seen about 5 drug deals with my beautiful view of the dumpster and parking lot,” He laughed, turning around to me. “I think I have the most beautiful view of Hollywood right here in front of me though,” He walked closer to me, and moved a loose hair from my face. My heart swelling inside my chest, he was such a sweet man, and around him I actually felt beautiful. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, love. I will see you tomorrow though, right?” He said raising an eyebrow at me, moving his tongue back, and forth, over his teeth. “You don’t have to leave you know, you could stay here,” I said with a sweet smile. “Oh my darling, I would love nothing more, than to stay the night with you. However, with how drunk you are, and how worried you are of publicity, imagine the TMZ headlines of me walking out of your room in the morning, oh the horror!” He said teasingly, rolling his eyes, a grin spreading on his face. “I thought you were the guy that doesn’t give a fuck what people think, Mr. Scotsman, was that a lie?” I questioned, raising my eye brow at him in teasing suspicion, “I. Fucking. Don’t!” He muttered, exaggerating his Scottish accent on the words, and leaning down to peck me on the lips. I chuckled and looked up at him, caressing his face, feeling the stubble from his growing beard. He put his hand on mine. “Then stay, fuck what they think,” I said shrugging my shoulders. He kissed my forehead and pulled my head to rest on his chest. “I don’t want you to do anything you regret later, especially in the morning when you are horror struck to see me lying next to you,” I rolled my eyes “Whatever, James. I would be thinking about what God decided to grant me this wish,” “A wish, aye? A wish for me to be in your bed?” He teased, laughing and shaking his head, before resting his chin on my head, and running his fingers through my long hair. “A wish just to be around you, or for you to like me.” I muttered. “Well, you don’t need to wish for that, it’s already beyond a like, to be honest with you, love,” We both stood there for a while before James sighed deeply and let me go “Alright, I will stay. I just need to run back to my room, to get all ready for bed and I will be back. Okay?” He said, with a smile. I nodded with a grin, excited for his company. He kissed me quickly and walked out the door “Won’t be long!” He hollered, before the door shut behind him. I got myself into pajamas, peeling off my false lashes, taking off my jewelry, taking out my contact lenses and replacing them with glasses, wiping off my makeup, and brushing my teeth. James soon enough was knocking on the door. I answered, my tooth brush still in my mouth, as I looked him over. He was now in his pajamas, and his breath smelled of winter mint. He smiled at me and walked inside. He stared at my reflection in the mirror, with a smile on his face. “What?” I asked after spitting the toothpaste out of my mouth, echoing in the bathroom, then being drowned out by the sound of water, as I filled my mouth with it to rinse it before using mouth wash. “Nothing, you just look cute without makeup and in glasses is all. I just wanted to have a look at you and take all of you in,” He said, licking the inside of his bottom lip, before walking over to the bed. My face turned a bright shade of pink, as I felt the aggressive butterflies go crazy within my stomach. I had to stop myself from running into my bed to cuddle up with James, and he laid there waiting for me. “Why hello there, beautiful, I saved you a spot right here.” He said, removing the blanket, and patting on his chest, and reaching his hand out to me. I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me into the bed, wrapping his arms around me, and laying my head on his chest. He ran his fingers up and down my arm, drawing figure 8s and circles on my skin, stopping here and there to kiss me on the top of my head. I inhaled his scent. He smelled so masculine, and clean. I looked up at him, and he smiled at me, pushing his lips out at me, and making a soft kissing sound with them. I leaned up and kissed him on his lips, him kissing me back with passion. He held me there, his hand on the back of my head, tangled in my hair. His kisses started to become more frantic, with hunger in each one. I sensed his change in body language and followed along with it, also feeling myself get more into it. I bit onto his body lip and pulled back, gently, letting his lip snap back into place. His breath hitched, and he immediately sighed deeply “Now, easy there,” He said with a chuckle and went back into kissing me, letting his tongue eagerly explore my mouth, rubbing my own against his. I bit his lip again, sucking on it as well this time. A quiet moan escaped his lips this time, and he closed his eyes, stopping kissing me for just a moment “You’re being really unfair, Y/N,” He said with a laugh “Why is that?” I said, in a nonchalant voice. “I have no idea what you are talking about,” “Uh huh, I  am so sure you don’t, love, so fucking positive you are being so innocent,” He said as flipped me around, and put himself onto of me. I let out a small yelp, surprised by what he just did. “Oh you weren’t expecting that, were you?” He exclaimed his eyes growing wide. He kissed my lips once, before peppering kisses all over my jaw line, and my neck, sucking, licking, and biting on the skin along my collar bones. I let out a moan in response to the attention he was paying to my skin, and he chuckled, his voice vibrating into my tender flesh. “Oh how the tables have turned haven’t they?” He joked, he came back to your lips and kissed me one last time, before turning back over and laying beside me “What?” Was all I could manage to say, before looking at him. “Oh, oh that? Yeah, we’re not doing that, not while you’re drunk,” He said, innocently smiling and closing his eyes “I’m not even that drunk,” I protested. He opened one eye and looked at me through the corner of it “Yes you are stop lying,” “I’m not lying!” I said, glaring at him. He laughed and pulled me closer to his body. “I’m not going to do anything to potentionally ruin this right here, so I would rather hold off on that, especially while you have been drinking, lovely woman. I want to keep you as long as I can now. You’re trapped, I’ve claimed you,” He said, kissing me on the forehead, with a loud, exaggerated “MUAH!” I laughed and closed my eyes “You’re right, you can have all of me, it’s all yours. I’ve claimed you too though, so, we’re both pretty fucked,” I said with a nod. “Super fucked, whatever shall we do? Go on a date tomorrow? That’d be dreadful, wouldn’t it?” He said with a laugh “Oh it’s dreadful, what time should we do this?” “At 6, I’ll take you someone horrible, like the McDonalds,” We both laughed. “I would love to go McDonalds, because I’d be with you, James,” He laughed, “With this type of behavior, you’ll have me falling in love with you, quicker than I already am,” I stopped and took in what he said, that he had been falling in love with me, that was it then, we both felt the same way about each other. “Well, I mean, you couldn’t be falling for me any faster than I’m falling for you, I’m sure,” “Wait, wait just one fucking second, wait. You mean to tell me, we had mutual fucking feelings this whole time, and we never made a move until now. 6 months after meeting? We could have had sex by now.” He said furrowing his brows, before laughing “No for real though, I’m bothered that we both mutually felt this way and failed to express it to one another.” “I am too,” I responded with a deep sigh following my statement. “Well, what is important is that we have each other now, and we can makeup for that lost time now,” I answered looking at him with a smile. He nodded with a giggle, “You are correct there, my dear. You are indeed correct,” After that being said, I fell asleep in his arms, lulled by the sounds of his beating heart, and quiet snores. I was truly, and whole heartedly in heaven now, in a serene dream I never wanted to wake from.

[rhyzsuxz]

ww84 confused the fuck out of me. i genuinely enjoyed watching it and I think most of the criticism is pretty valid, but like it wasn't,,, that bad. A lot of the stuff I have a problem with is things that I was able to put in the back of my head and still enjoy the movie so I don't like the vehement hate and shit people are saying (unless it's about the racist shit, i’m am not uncomfortable with vehemently hating on the racist ass shit in this movie) but other than that like,,,, idk it was pretty good.

Spoilers for ww84 below

the plot wasn't amazing but compared to Infinity War? Endgame? Jesus christ is call ww84 a masterpiece compared to anything marvels put out in the past five years. I didn't enjoy the entire oil barron middle eastern/egyptian plot point. That was completely unnecessary and racist. Pretty much the entirety of what happened in egypt was,,,, not,,,, okay,,,, i’m not going to go into it but like that's a completely genuine criticism because what the fuck were they aiming for there??? The non-white and clearly middle eastern dude wishing for nukes while holding a gun??? What???

Next one isn't "racism" but like who decided to write, cast, produce, and film the scene where the woman wishes to deport all irish ppl and the irish dude wishes to kill her??? What the fuck was that??? It needed more context and if ur criticizing a movie and you say "needed more context" it means it probably didn't need or shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Uhhh what else,,,, loved kristen wiig. omg. But,,,, why was the entire plot line between her and diana just pitting them against each other?? The entire subplot didn't even result in any character developed that it showed Barbara doesnt "learn to love herself" or anything she's just like "wow having superpowers is stressful, nvm" and she barely even does that??? Also the part where it's showing her losing her "humanity" and she beats the shit out of her attempted rapist. Loved that part EXCEPT. Why is that how she loses her kindness? Like i've seen people say the part where she actually loses it is when she tells her friend to mind his own business, but anyone (esp straight dudes) watching that and even a lot of women could take it as framing her beating up the asshole as bad?? Like my dream would be to beat up ppl who've assaulted me or made me uncomfortable so the fact that they even left room for the audience to question which part was her losing her humanity made me iffy about it. Overall it's one of the things I think they could cut from the movie and it wouldn't make any difference.

something I liked about it was the cgi. It's been getting a lot of shit because it's cringey at points but like,,, I loved it. The parts where she's flying just felt like a comic book and yeah maybe it's not realistic, world changing cgi quality but it made me happy and I think trying to go for the ultra realistic shit would've taken away from the whole theme they were pushing with Diana's character which was truth and love. I've never read the comics or seen any other DC movies (other than the first gal gadot wonder woman) but she just felt like a cool character and watching her I really understood her falling in love with humanity. Her whole character might not had grown much in the movie in terms of a formal arc, but watching her grieve and mourn the loss of Steve and then go through the cycle of falling in love with humans again was genuine and just fun to watch for me personally. Was it a little repetitive to being steve back? I mean yeah, but like,, they played up the fact that she was still mourning him and hadn't let go yet so I didn't mind it at all.

I didn't understand the whole him possessing another person thing tho. Like them fucking in that random dudes apartment and taking his stuff just felt wrong??? And it's not even addressed?? They could've just brought Steve back in his own body like they made the porsches and nukes appear out of nowhere and completely avoided the rapey, gross, tones it gave off. Add this to the list of things this movie did that made me uncomfortable and were there for seemingly no plot reason I can think of. They made such a big deal out of Barbara getting cat called and sexually harassed/assaulted just to completely violate a male character? Male sexual assault already doesn't get enough attention and you can't tell me that it's weird and unnecessary that the writers have steve possessing this guy while also stressing female sexual assault and going as far as beating up an abuser. And then not even MENTION the guy steve is possessing other than saying he's hot?? Seriously just take out that entire section of the movie and you've got a plot that's starting to make sense, but instead they just don't.

I had to filter the tag for the guy who played max lord because jfc,,,, first of all not looking for madalorian spoilers and I just don't understand this obsession with his character. The acting was good but the writing was eh. It feels like the Max Lord in this movie was really complicated and had the potential to be a cool character with looking into the abuse, his child, being a single dad, the want to make his son proud and that relationship, like he just seemed like he could be a cool "villian" who's misunderstood and needs to calm down, but it was too much. I didn't even realize he was the kid being abused until I read a review after the movie and there was so much going on with the plots of developing Steve and Dianasa relationship, showing Barbara's character arc, and the entire world falling apart, that it really took away from Lord. Instead of cutting any of it to make Lord a well rounded and explained character or make him more stereotypical villian and expand on the Cheetahs character, they crammed everything into one and failed at both. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching the movie, but it just feels like they just bit off more than they could chew but didn't realize it. I would much rather see a Max Lord villian centric movie that goes into Wonder Woman vs Lord and his character and then a separate Cheetah movie that went more into Diana and Barbara's friendship and saving her from losing her humanity, even if it writing that movie means completely taking her out of the Max Lord plot line. Over all id really like to see a good movie about two women struggling with power, loss, and existing in society where the writers don't pin them against each other with little to no plot explanation and a confusing fight scene that brought in a whole new subplot (asteria or whatever) out of NOWHERE.

In conclusion just do better next time. I enjoyed watching the movie. I enjoyed criticizing the movie. I would watch it again. I feel like the writers really got stuck between the desire to make the worlds greatest superhero movie that blows all of the others out of the water with a complicated plot and tons of characters and just the desire to make a good, entertaining movie. Not every piece of media has to be the new best thing since sliced bread and the cheesy cgi, flying, and "love and trust" references really got back to the roots of a good superhero movie, but then they went so far with the subplots it's like they couldn't decide what they were going for and turned what could've been that genuinely good superhero movie into a fucking mess with racist undertones, a convoluted plot, and a whole bunch of shit that genuinely made no sense.