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timextoxhajima · 2 years

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Right Person, Wrong Time [1/2]

members: enhypen jake, jay

synopsis: [1st person/omniscient pov] you begin your first day of work with your boyfriend sending you there but amidst all your first-day jitters, you find out that the new CEO-in-training was your best friend who moved away a decade ago.

genres: bf! jake x fem! reader, childhood best friend! jay x fem! reader, angst, fluff, suggestive material, F2L, angst, fluff, crack, established r/s

warnings: cursing

taglist: @changminurheart @allorysayshi @en-boyz @vantxx95 @from-xero @wooyoung-a @changmin-wrlds @nashionalpotatocorner @sapphydean @haechanhues @axartia @sjakewrld

wc: 16.6k words (this is so fucking long)

ost: sunwoojunga - timing | enhypen - just a little bit | keane - somewhere only we know | the 1975 - robbers | urban zakapa - i don’t love you

you remember how it was back then.

the gashapon station was filled with at least 3 rows of machines and there was a particular one you loved. it was a stereotypical pink and white one with a hello kitty label on it, and your head is tilted, trying to read the faded japanese words on it.

you wanted it, but your parents told you that a dollar for a toy you'll probably lose or forget about wouldn't be worth it, so you had gotten used to just reading the labels or looking at the pictures.

"do you have a dollar to get it?"

you turn, looking at a boy slightly tinier than you. you turn back to the machine, pouting as you pick at your fingers.

"i want it, but mummy and daddy say that i'll probably lose it."

"it's just a dollar," the boy fumbles through a tiny pouch he had clasped in his hands. he unzips it, the clinking between the coins taking your attention again. his tiny fingers cover barely half the surface of the coin as he holds it out.

"really?" you excitedly take the coin from him, grinning at it and even squinting to see your reflection in the metal.

"it's okay! i have too many at home anyway."

you clutch the coin in your palm before rushing forwards to the machine and slotting the coin in. with a considerable amount of strength for a 6-year-old, you finally turn the knob and the pink ball drops into the dispenser's container.

you can't crack it open though, so the boy takes (read: kind-of-snatches) it from you and tries to open it too, but to no avail.

"jay!"

he turns around, and you witness the two adults striding towards him with huge bags of winter clothings. "could you open this, please?"

"ah, did you buy it?" his mother glances at you, then watches as her husband takes the capsule.

"yes, but i'm giving it to her. she didn't have a dollar."

"hello," she squats and grins at you. "what's your name?"

"mm, my parents told me i shouldn't talk to strangers," you sulk and step back.

crack.

the tall man picks out, not one, but two hello kitty keyrings from the capsule and hands it to jay. “hm, must’ve been a packing issue or something.”

the boy takes both, then turns around and holds them out to you.

"here. it's for you."

a moment of hesitation, then you take it and admire the shine in the plastic.

“thank you,” looking up, you see his parents looking down at you and the little boy’s attention had already shifted to scuffling through the bags. “do you want one?”

he turns around, blinking innocently at your offer.

“sure,” he takes one of it. “it’s cute.”

"where are your parents, hun?" his mother squats, looking at you from eye-level.

"in there," you point back into the winter clothings store.

"travelling to somewhere cold this winter?"

"no," you continue looking down at the keychain. "they work there."

with your upper teeth sinking into your bottom lip, your squinted eyes carefully manoeuvre the new keyring of the hello kitty keychain onto your wallet. the details on the hello kitty charm had already faded, but you've used a permanent marker and drawn on her nose and whiskers and used nail polish to paint over the entire thing just to preserve it.

multiple times.

just as you're done, your phone vibrates and you look at the caller ID to read the name: "sim 💕"

"i'm fixing the keychain, just give me a minute!"

"you're fixing it on the day you start work?!" jake laughs. "i'm about 2 minutes away. let's hope your bus comes on time!"

"i'm sure it will, we're already leaving 30 minutes earlier. i doubt a late bus can ruin my morning," you smile to yourself, lifting your wallet and admiring the old relic under the lamp. "i'm gonna be out in a minute so i'll see you then!"

"okay, see you, babe."

the hello kitty keychain looks a little haphazard, but it’ll do. so, you pick your bag up and rush out of your room, hurriedly bidding your mother good-bye and kissing her on the cheek before you stumble out of the flat.

the world seemed a little happier today - the morning sun was bright and high in the sky, white fluffy clouds decorating the blue canvas like little cotton balls. you were excited to start work - school had gotten boring and all you wanted was to start earning your own cash. relying on your parents became more difficult as the years went by.

“y/n!”

your eyes snap away from the view above and down back to earth, immediately spotting jake waving to you from opposite the road.

it’d be a lie to say you weren’t nervous. it was your first full-time job, earned only after a terribly stressful interview. can anybody believe they sat you in a room with a panel of five managers and supervisors?

“hey!” jake greets you with a peck on your cheek. “how are you feeling?”

“nervous,” you snuggle under his arm as he lets you rest on him. the bus stop was relatively packed due to the working-adults-crowd, so you find a little more comfort in hiding under his build.

“you’ll be fine, i promise,” jake dips his nose into your hair and combs down the ends for you. “you said the interview was difficult to pass, but you did!”

“i did,” a wide grin spreads out on your lips. “thank you for sending me to work.”

“of course,” jake shakes his head. “oh! i got you a muffin, here.”

he fumbles through his bag and pulls out a small paper bag.

“thanks,” taking it from him, you reach up a little to kiss him on the cheek.

if jake were a phrase, it’d be ‘happy-ever-after’.

the building looked exceptionally daunting when the bus stops right outside it. not many get off the bus because most people who worked here could probably afford their own private transport. but jake pulls you off anyway, being the only source of motivation and reminder that this could just be any other first work day before everything got better.

right outside the entrance, jake stops you and holds you by the shoulder. it earns some unwarranted attention from old, judgemental employees of the company, which does embarrass you a little, but jake’s smile reassures you.

“just do what you always do, okay?” he pulls you into a hug, patting your back. “you’ve always been able to do whatever it is anybody gives you. don’t doubt yourself this time, okay? got your lucky charm with you?”

your hand instinctively slides down the strap of your bag. the keyring is dangling off the side, uneven dots for eyes staring back at you. “yeah.”

“you’ll be okay,” jake pats your hair and kisses your forehead. “i’ll come pick you up after, okay? give me a call when you’re done, i’ll be around.”

“okay.”

jake watches you walk into the building, shyly approaching the administration counter. with one last wave, jake turns, running after the bus that would bring him to his own job.

“hi, how may i help you?” the lady at the registration smiles, standing and greeting you. her name tag reads ‘nam go eun’.

“hi, i’m l/n y/n and it’s my first day of work here.”

“ah! for the marketing department? thought i saw your name in today’s agenda somewhere,” immediately, she looks down at her computer and clicks away.

“yep,” your hands clasp around the hello kitty keyring.

“found you!” she clicks something else and a printer starts running. she lowers herself in a bid to search for a pen, and her shifting away lets you spot some plaques, pictures, and awards behind her.

none of them really catch your attention - they all looked the same - but there was a photo of a familiar face shaking hands and exchanging an award with another person, and right next to him was another familiar face you haven’t seen in awhile. it takes you a moment to clock both their faces, but-

“fill this up for me, and i’ll get the marketing department head to come get you,” she slides the pen and form across the counter to you.

you contemplate asking, but give in anyway.

“i’m sorry for being nosy, but... could i ask who that is?”

she hums, a curious brow raised, before turning around and notes the picture you’re talking about.

“ah, that’s the CEO and his son,” she turns back to you and smiles. then, her eyes dart behind you and she immediately bows, and a startling jab of anticipation bursts through you.

the urge to turn around is faster than the ability to process his face when he walks in. it’s surprise, shock, heartache, all at once, and you know he’s already seen you.

does he recognise me?

“good morning, mr park,” nam go eun greets, smiling between you and him. she’s a little baffled by how horrified you seem to look, and you can’t blame her.

you’re staring at him like he were a walking statue, yet he’s not really paying you any attention other than taking out a wallet from his blazer and handing her his identification card.

“good morning,” he sucks in a deep breath, eyes glossed and hair done. he’s taller. much taller than you last remembered him. “where’s she headed to?”

“marketing department,” her eyes flit from his card to the computer as she logs in his details. “i was just about to call mr kim to come pick her up.”

“no worries, i’ll do that instead,” he nods, now noticing the pen and form sitting before you on the counter, collecting dust. he lifts a finger and gently gestures to it, “don’t you have to fill that up?”

finally blinking your consciousness back into your body, you clear your throat and look back at the form.

“i... yeah, sorry,” picking up the pen, there’s a lack of energy in your hands.

all of it has gone to your heart, thumping so hard, you can hear it in your ears. am i dreaming? you think to yourself.

you can’t tell if he’s acting like he doesn’t know you or if he’s just ignoring the fact that you had been best friends for years before he moved away.

nam go eun finishes with his ID card and returns it to him, anxiously waiting for you to finish the employment form.

“your father has instructed to send you to his office at 11am for a meeting with representatives from AirAsia.”

“11?” he looks down at his watch. “i can do 11. right after i see her to the marketing department.”

you suck your lips between your teeth.

jay park jong seong. do you not remember me?

with a heavy voice and a lack of confidence to look at him, you say, just loud enough for him to hear, “you don’t have to, i’m sure she can make a call for the department head to come get me, it’s-”

“no, no, allow me,” jay shakes his head, resting an arm on the counter as you finish the form. nam go eun receives it politely, sliding it into a scanner.

for a moment, you wonder if he could tell you’re desperate. how would someone who doesn’t know you’re desperate see desperation? just harsh, meaningless glaring or staring with watering eyes? the apparent presence of an awkward silence?

but jay isn’t looking at you. he’s staring at the awards and pictures behind the administration counter with one hand on his hip. he’s scanning the rows of displays until his eye catches you staring at him, and you hurriedly look away out of hidden embarrassment.

“why, is there something wrong with my face?”

suddenly, you wish he didn’t even acknowledge you were here. you couldn’t decide which was worse: him talking to you like he didn’t know you, or him ignoring you because he didn’t remember you.

“is there something on my face?” you wipe your cheek profusely, because jay’s laughing at you. you yell at him, upset. “what’s wrong with my face?”

“it’s a pen mark!” he squeals, pointing at you.

“you drew on my face?!” standing up, you throw your hands at him, expecting him to break out into shouts and apologise.

but he doesn’t. 8-year-old jay giggles, as if the pen mark wouldn’t take another three days to completely disappear; as if his parents wouldn’t berate him for being a mischievous little boy; as if you wouldn’t do the same to him and get a scolding by your mother.

there’s no way he doesn’t recognise me.

“no, nothing,” you clear your throat and swallow the hard ball. your fingers find the keyring from your bag and hide it in your palm.

he’s moved on from this puppy-like friendship you had with him almost a decade ago. what will he think if he sees that you kept that insignificant trinket for that same amount of time?

“you done? let’s get you to the marketing department,” he pushes himself off the counter and slides his hands into his pockets.

“yup, you’re all done,” nam go eun reassures you, sliding an office tag across the counter. it was a normal white card with a blue lanyard. “here’s your staff access card. CEO offices are out of bounds but otherwise, this gives you access to everything else. just call the admin desk if you have any issues with it.”

“okay, thanks.”

your face is on the card. your full name is on the card. maybe jay would see it and something would click.

but he’s not looking at you again, his eyes drifted off somewhere like a curious puppy in a new environment. hasn’t he been here before?

all the questions you wanted to ask... at the tip of your tongue and ready to fly out incessantly, probably extremely probing, but this urge is forced back down your throat in the form of an awkward silence in the lift when jay gently jabs the button for the marketing department’s floor.

“excited?”

your eyes dart to him for a moment.

that smile. that stupid, stupid smile, that disappeared for a decade. that you’ve yearned to see again for so long. that now not only does not recognise you, but he simply treats you like a polite stranger.

just pretend you don’t know him too.

“yeah, i hope it’s worth it. the interview was difficult so i’d say i scraped through.”

“oh, i heard about that. the interviews weren’t so tough before the company revamp.”

“company revamp? what company revamp?”

a frown falls on your face when jay smiles a little. for a split second, maybe he’d finally give you a hug and tell you how much he’s missed you - but that’s not a correct answer to your question.

“i’m the new CEO-in-training,” he holds out his hand. “so they had to choose the new employees a little more wisely to cater to this... young mess.”

he’s... what?

“you- you’re-”

“level 9, doors opening.”

“oh, good morning, jay! or should i say... mr park?”

“morning, uncle choi,” jay lowers his head and steps aside - the opposite direction of you - allowing three employees to enter the lift.

“heard it’s your first day here,” one of the men gently pat him on the arm. his tag is black, and the lanyard’s strap is yellow.

“it is,” jay nods. “so is hers actually! which reminds me, have you seen mr kim?”

“ah,” the man turns and nods to you. politely giving him a little bow, you read his tag. choi gyeong bok, research lead. “marketing team? heard the intake was alot fewer this year due to the revamp policies. hi, i’m mr choi, but everybody calls me uncle choi.”

“it’s great to meet you, mr choi,” you hold your hand out first - which you assume isn’t very common, because he’s pleasantly surprised, a curious grin surfaces on his lips as he takes your hand.

“hold the hand firm, and don’t let go until they do.”

jay looks up from your hands, eyes bright and excited.

“ooooh, your dad teach you this?” you meet his gaze and grin widely, keeping your hold on his hand.

“yeah, he says that’s how people know you’re serious about business. it’s how you impress people through a handshake,” jay nods, looking back down. “then you give it a good couple of shakes-”

and he shakes it so incredibly and awkwardly harsh, it makes you laugh.

“are you trying to dislocate my wrist?” you giggle and try to pull away, but jay begins laughing as well and suddenly, it’s just a game of whether you can tear yourself out of his grip.

“yeah, you shake it like that and the other person would get a free cha-cha lesson.”

“i’m l/n y/n. i know we aren’t in the same department but i look forward to working with you.”

mr choi leans forward and makes a miniscule effort to whisper. “so you are why the standard for the marketing department intake is so high.”

“too big of a compliment,” you smile and wait for him to pull away, which he does, then he turns to his fellow employees and introduces them as well. unfortunately, their lift ride was shorter than yours - why was the marketing department so high up the building? - and they bid both you and the ‘CEO-in-training’ goodbye as they get off a few floors before yours.

“ooh, already impressing superiors on your first day. not bad.”

a gentle sigh. defeat.

“it’s not like he’s my department head, i’d be kissing ass for no reason.”

and then it clicks - what if jay really doesn’t remember you? the CEO-in-training just heard you cuss about kissing ass.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to-”

he scoffs, waving an absentminded hand in the air. “don’t worry about it. i get office politics.”

turning your head away from him, you mentally berate yourself. the day’s barely begun but you’re already completely pushed off everything you were expecting. it’s like the day was just not meant to go your way.

“level 15, doors opening.”

with a gentle ding, the doors open into an empty hallway. there’s a fancy sign on the wall that says ‘marketing department’. jay strides past you with his hands placed on his lower back, the sight of him making you slightly sick to your stomach.

it’s the first time he’s seen me in a decade and this is how he treats me?

he pauses in his prideful stroll, turning around to blink innocently at you.

“nervous?” he raises a brow.

“no,” clearing your throat, you walk out the lift and walk past him, eyes searching the office doors for a ‘kim ji hyuk’.

then at the end of the corridor, there were two options: turn left or right.

left.

“right.”

by the time you reached kim ji hyuk’s door, you’re slightly embarrassed, very frustrated, and very much wanting to smack him across the face for acting like he doesn’t recognise you.

which CEO-in-training would be so friendly to an employee, much less one on her first day?

“i’m here now, so thanks.”

jay nods towards the door, hands gathered behind his back again. “so, knock.”

a squint at him is only returned with a second innocent nod towards it.

he’s the CEO’s son. he’s the CEO’s son. he’s the CEO’s son.

“he’s just my son, not a CEO’s son.”

that was the exact line you remember jay’s father telling yours. when they had found out their little girl had made friends with the child of one of the richest couples in town, they had scrambled to seem like they had their life kept together. they had refused to invite them over to our place for meals, even though you knew very well your parents loved get-togethers.

so, when jay’s parents made the move, you can only imagine all sorts of things and trinkets they brought to the get-together, even when they knew they couldn’t afford it.

his father’s honesty and transparency brought so much comfort and relief to your parents. frankly, it was probably the only thing that convinced them to let you stay friends with jay, else the amount of money they spent on gifts for their family would’ve been enough to wipe their bank accounts clean.

for the third time today, you wondered just how is it possible for him to forget you?

before you can knock on the door though, kim ji hyuk swings the door open with a phone to his ear.

“oh! you must be y/n! yeah, she’s right outside the door, thanks!” he hangs up the phone and shoves it into his breast pocket. he smells like coffee. “i was just told our new CEO would be sending you up.”

kim ji hyuk had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. his hair and forehead were oily, so the handkerchief sticking out from the inside of his blazer seemed self-explanatory. there was a wedding band on his left hand, and he had a piercing on one ear. his tag was also black, but attached to a matching blue lanyard strap like yours.

“nice to see you again, mr kim,” jay reaches out and shakes his hand.

“hi, i’m l/n y/n,” you proceed right after jay, offering your hand like before. “great to meet you.”

“oh! great handshake!” he exclaims, a wide smile crawling on his lips. “why don’t you come in and we’ll talk about your first day. we have some administration to settle, an orientation and other things aside?”

“yeah, sure, of course!”

“i see you’ve already met mr park over here,” kim ji hyuk gestures to jay, nodding and resting his hands on his hips. “first day on the job and playing the welfare card, hm?”

“ran into her at the administration desk, that’s all.”

ouch.

“lovely!” kim ji hyuk pushes up his glasses. “i’ll take her from here, mr park. thank you for the drop-by.”

“no problem, i’ll see you at the meeting later,” jay lowers his head, and so does kim ji hyuk. then he stands straight and looks at you for a moment, something glimmers in his eyes and that sickening, nostalgic feeling of seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time rushes through you.

he remembers.

you want to grab him by the shoulders and shake a sense of urgency and familiarity back into his head, yell at him for leaving you behind. smack him across the arm and cry about all the years you felt so alone after he left, before you met jake. step on his stupid, sparkly shoes that he was never afraid to get dirty when he used to run in the rain and step in water puddles with you.

was i the only one who kept all these memories?

professionalism and a lack of dignity keeps your fists clenched, jaws locked and eyes down. the questions will probably never see the light of day.

“i’m sure i’ll see you around, miss l/n?” he smiles, and doesn’t wait for you to greet him like he did with his other employees (read: subordinates). turning on his heels and adjusting his blazer, he walks towards the lift like he were in a rush. he checks his watch as he waits for the lift door to open, then turns to face you down the corridor as he slides his hands into his pockets.

but he pulls one hand out to wave to you, and then you see it - a little hello kitty keyring dangling from his pocket that spilled out when he pulled his hand out.

there’s a weight on your shoulders and a cloud of confusion hanging over your head when it dawns on you.

jay is acting like he doesn’t know you.

later in the evening, jake’s laughter is mixed with your mother’s in the background, alongside some clinking between metal cutlery and porcelain. you on the other hand, have been circling the broccoli piece around the plate for awhile now.

there was a resolution to keep this nagging frustration and disappointment suppressed - because you did have a good day at work. mr kim ji hyuk was more than welcoming, in fact, he spoke like he used tiktok and instagram. it was easy to talk to him, and every question you threw at him, he had the answers.

the marketing department team also seemed pretty endearing, so really, all that ruined your day was your CEO-in-training.

but one of your two companions at dinner must’ve noticed your internal suffering, because the laughter dies down and you look up only after realising how much quieter it is.

“hm? what?” you raise a brow and finally put down the fork.

“are you okay?” your mother leans forward. “you’ve been pretty quiet.”

you could tell her about jay if you wanted to. after all, she knew the kid. he was as good as her son for awhile, and you wouldn’t tell her you were there, but you know she cried when jay’s family uprooted and migrated.

“i’m just tired, that’s all,” you decide to wrap it up and leave the table first. “i’ll just wash these and take a bath.”

once you’re in your room, you close the door and rest against it, eyes slowly navigating around the room. there’s a plush sititng on the shelf that was gifted to you by jay. there’s a box of letters written to you, signed by him, packed into the glass cabinet by your table.

why did he still keep the key ring if he no longer remembers me? does he just think he’s had it forever, and that he doesn’t remember where it’s from? did i make a mistake that i didn’t know of? did something happen to him and he lost his memory?

what is a friendship considered, if it’s loved by one and exiled by the other?

the weight has been crushing your heart the entire day, so when you finally push yourself off the door to reach your wardrobe, the weight is shoved up into your face instead. the pressure that had been frustration and disappointment the entire day turned into hurt and betrayal, and then your vision is blurred as you pick your pajamas.

knock knock.

a harsh sniffle as you frantically wipe your face, inhaling back all the snot. “yeah?”

“can i come in?”

you clear your throat, exhaling heavily and fanning your face. “yeah, sure.”

the door knob clicks, and the floorboard creaks a little when he steps into the room. “hey, what’s wrong? do you want to talk about it?”

shutting the door of your wardrobe, you shake your head. “it’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“aw, don’t do that,” jake quickly walks toward you before you can escape into the bathroom. “don’t make it nothing. you’re clearly upset about something, so talk to me about it.”

his hands travel from your forearms to your fingers, gently rubbing the back of your palms as he bends down to see your lowered face.

one look, and he could tell you’re trying not to burst out in tears.

he stands, automatically wrapping his arms around you and dipping his nose in your hair while holding your head into his shoulder. “cry if you need to.”

so you listen, and let yourself sob into jake’s shirt.

jay had waited for the lift door to close before sighing, his shoulders slumping and the lack of sleep getting to him. he blinks, waiting for the lift to move, but then he realises he hadn’t pressed the floor button.

he clears his throat, sucking his lips between his teeth and reaching out for the lift button. he catches himself smiling like an idiot when he thinks about the way you took a left instead of a right.

“she still remembers the handshake,” he mumbles under his breath.

when he’s reached the CEO’s office, he’s greeted by his father’s secretary who was waiting for the lift, looking at a folder in hand.

“oh, jay!” kwon jung hwan closes the folder. “your father was just asking where you were.”

“i thought the meeting’s at 11am,” jay lifts his hand and checks his watch. 1030am. “does he need me for anything prior?”

kwon jung hwan hums in thought, shaking his head and stepping aside for jay to exit the lift. “not that i know of, might just want to drop by his office to check,” he looks down, scanning jay, and spots the hello-kitty keyring hanging from his pocket. a gentle scoff escapes his throat. “gift from a girlfriend?”

“hm?” jay’s eyes widen before tracing kwon jung hwan’s eyes to his pocket. his lips part in startled surprise as he hurriedly scoops it back into his pocket. “ah! no, it’s a... childhood lucky charm. it’s a relic. i’ve had it since i was five or six odd years old.”

“that thing’s an antique then. gosh, that makes it, what, fifteen years old?”

“hm, yeah, thereabout,” jay nods.

“by the way, i suggest you ask your father for a nap before you head to the meeting. you look like you have a sleeping problem.”

“what?”

“you have these little things under your eyes,” the elder uses a pen and gestures to jay’s eyebags. “fix your sleep schedule before you become a full-fledged CEO!”

“thanks for the tip,” jay scoffs. “i’ll go visit my father now, i’ll catch you at the meeting.”

“oh, oh, you do that,” kwon jung hwan nods a little impatiently, already waving him off. so, with a small bow, jay turns on his heels and heads in the direction of his father’s office. on the way, he passes a mirror with a vase before it. he does a double take, and steps backward to stare himself in the mirror.

kwon jung hwan was right - the eyebags were pretty obvious.

he blames you, though.

jay could hardly believe his eyes when he looked at the list of new employees that were coming in the next day. he had thought it was someone else with the same name, but he clicked on the folder and there it was - your face - ten years matured from how he remembered you.

“what is she doing here?” he whispers under his breath, clicking on the link to your interview recording.

“i think persistence is more challenging than hardwork. hardwork to me is a given, but not everybody has the resilience to push on and keep going at it until they get it right. i think i have that.”

the interview recording blacks out at the end, and he sees in the reflection a sweet smile and a longing gaze from himself resting in the palm of his hand. he swallows, heart heavy. pulling away from the desktop, he sucks in a deep breath and clicks on your scanned application.

he runs through the resume and your written application, able to hear you saying every single word you wrote on it despite not knowing how you sound like now.

‘she looks exactly the same’, he thinks to himself, leaning back in his chair. in the corner of his desk was a acrylic decorative tree meant for hanging keyrings, displaying several gashopon ones, and on it was the hello-kitty one he shared with you.

he’s used a marker to draw on her face, and clear glue to seal in the markings. multiple times.

but right next to the keyring tree was his clock, the second hand loudly ticking past 2am.

jay had created this little plan of surprise. he’d walk up to you from behind at the time you came to report at work, watch you cry and he’d happily hug you and ask you how you’ve been, how your parents have been, how has life treated you.

he’d show you the keyring, tell you how hard he’s been trying to preserve it, tell you how regretful he was that he lost contact with you.

maybe tell you how he felt.

but that went to waste when his chauffeur stopped at the pick up point and he saw someone else giving you a hug; a kiss on your forehead. it’s another boy his age, with eyes that only another boy can identify.

a gentle look of love, an obligation to care, the need to protect someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

it’s no longer jay. it has never been jay. someone had already replaced him, even though he had never been in that position.

“jay?” the driver calls out, looking at him in the rear mirror. “we’re here.”

“ah!” jay shoves the keyring into his pocket, clearing his throat and adjusting his blazer. “thank you. i’ll see you later.”

“have fun at work!”

jay nods again, pushing the door open and stepping out. but he turns as he takes a huge step toward the building, eyes stuck on the car that was driving away.

the impact on his arm is heavy, but then he immediately hears an incessant apologising from the person who ran into him.

when the boy stands, jay can instantly see why you’re in love with him.

“i’m so sorry!” he bows, quickly scanning him. “are you alright? are you injured?”

jay blinks, lost competition weighing his heart down. “no, no. i’m alright, don’t worry about it.”

“great, i’m so sorry about that.”

“it’s fine,” jay buttons his blazer. the boy stares at him for a moment, then quickly bows.

“have a good day.”

before jay can say anything else, however, he takes off, rushing to the bus stop.

he turns back to look into the building. there you were, eagerly chatting with nam go eun about your first day.

there’s a moment of contemplation. he looks down and spots the keyring hanging from his pocket.

‘maybe she won’t even remember me anyway,’ he thinks.

the resolution changes. he scoops the keyring back in.

but trying not to look at you is the hardest thing he’s ever fucking done. god, if he knew it weren’t those fucking exams, or the day his father told him he wished jay would take over the company, he wouldn’t have reacted so badly.

all the words were stuck on the tip of his tongue because you were right next to him.

so close, yet so far.

‘she has a boyfriend’, he thinks. ‘i should keep my distance’.

but clearly, he can’t. his instinct to make up for his absence pours out in the form of employee welfare: sending you to your department as if mr kim wouldn’t be able to come down, when he knew the department head would probably be in his office drinking coffee.

he also knows he went overboard with the compliments. ‘already impressing superiors on your first day. not bad’? jay can’t believe it himself.

but he can’t deny how much it hurt when you reciprocated his little act. maybe despite him acting like he didn’t know you, you’d still be you and look at him with bright, wandering eyes and go ‘oh? jay! is that you?’

he waited, and waited, only for it to fall into a painful, awkward silence he cannot understand, yet brought upon himself.

jay knocks on his father’s office door, waiting for an acknowledgement before he enters.

“come in!” jay pushes himself in. “i understand. will you compile these concerns and have it presented at the meeting later? uh huh, good. anyway, if there isn’t anything else, i have something to see to. mhm, bye bye.”

jay takes a seat on the guest couch, reaching over to the desk and pouring himself a glass of lemon-infused water.

“took a tour around the building?” his father asks from his desk. “ms nam called to say you arrived awhile ago but it’s been... awhile.”

“yeah, i dropped by mr kim and mr choi’s offices to say ‘hi’. i also ran into mr kwon at the lift,” he takes a sip of water. his father comes round the couch and sits next to him, keeping his phone into his breast pocket.

“is that so?” he leans back. “you look tired. not enough rest?”

“couldn’t sleep last night.”

his father hums. “just don’t fall asleep at the meeting later. you can nap afterwards.”

jay nods. “by the way, what time do the employees get to leave office? what are their benefits? like do they get off-in-lieus if they work weekends? any idea what the company culture is like?”

jay’s father tilts his head. “why so curious all of a sudden?”

his son shakes his head, shrugging. “just wondering, that’s all. especially since i’m taking over you eventually, i’d just like to know. don’t want to be a CEO without knowing what my employees go through.”

the elder blinks, pouting his lips in slight agreement. “they get off at work 6, sometimes 6.30 depending on whether they are busy. nobody usually stays past 9pm because the security locks up the building at 9.30pm. most staff get enough paid-leave days, we also have a compassionate leave policy for when they just... aren’t feeling it. off-in-lieus only apply for sundays. company culture differs from department to department but i’ve been told it’s been pretty consistently friendly.”

jay nods, slowly absorbing the information. “so... people stay until 9.30 even when the knock-off time is supposedly 6?”

his tone strikes a chord in his father. his son seems to disapprove. “if they are busy and have things to work on, then, yes. “

“and they have to come in the next morning at...?”

“9.30am.”

jay knows better than to pick a fight with his father. maybe the company’s policies wasn’t all that in his control. even if it were, it’s still a corporate body. without the time spent, there wouldn’t be business, simple as that.

“jay, i want you to realise that we are already offering the best we can. it may sound upsetting or unfair but staying past 6 is a choice. maybe the department heads need them to stay for a bigger project, some urgent matters to settle, this is what working is. as a company, we can only offer rest days whenever they need it, make sure our employee benefits go a long way and aren’t inferior to other companies as far as we can, and for a long time now, we’ve managed to do that. but these are little nitty, gritty details that we simply cannot... change.”

jay hadn’t noticed, but his hand is in his pocket, fiddling with the keyring. “i understand,” he nods and rubs an eye.

“good,” his father sucks in a deep breath and stands. “take a pen and a notepad or something. let’s go for the meeting.”

sitting opposite you was yang mi rae, one of the three marketing department newbies. she’s excited, witty, smart, and unafraid to voice out her thoughts. you’d be lying if you said she didn’t scare you on the first day of work. next to her is koo woo shik, a nerd, also clearly a simp for mi rae. he’s got these glasses that make his eyes so much smaller than they actually are, and he doesn’t wear cologne.

then there’s kim ji hyuk, wondering why he’s sitting with his department children.

you hadn’t seen jay since the first day of work, and it’s already day sixteen. after crying your eyes out to jake, you chose to ignore it, dig a hole and throw this nagging feeling of frustration in and cover it up.

maybe you’ll never see jay anyway, considering he’s the CEO-in-training and you’re just a rookie. this thought doesn’t last nor materialise though, for mi rae was aggressively waving her chopsticks about in the air trying to explain something to mr kim when she abruptly stops, eyes widening.

“isn’t that mr park and his son?” she taps on wooshik’s arm, almost wanting to raise her hand and call them over.

“what do you think you’re doing? we’re not in school calling our friends, they’re literally our bosses!” he whispers harshly under his breath, grabbing her hands and holding them down.

“hm?” mr kim finally looks up from his food and turns around. “oh, it is CEO park. or should i say, mr ‘parks’?” he laughs a low, fatherly chuckle that earns a glare of disapproval from mi rae. “ah... i was just joking,” with a slight pout, he puts his chopsticks down. “really cussed at me with her eyes...”

“uh, mr kim,” you clear your throat and gather your wallet and phone. “my stomach’s feeling a little wonky, i’m just going to the washroom for a little-”

“can it wait a minute? we should greet them,” then mr kim turns the other way towards the isle they were walking down. “mr park! jay! mr kwon!”

you hurriedly turn around and face the opposite way, frowning to yourself and gritting your teeth.

“y/n, are you okay?” mi rae reaches across the table and waves a hand under your nose.

“yeah, i’m- i’m fine-”

“oh, mr kim,” a familiar voice greets. one that you haven’t heard for a decade. “how’s the marketing department rookie team coming about? i see you’ve made great progress with bonding with them.”

“hi, mr park,” mi rae stands, offering her hand. “good to finally meet you. i’m yang mi rae, helping out with the local advertisement team for the first quarter.”

“yang mi rae. great to meet you.”

“koo wooshik. creative assistant to mr kim’s project on airport services.”

“very nice.”

an awkward pause.

mi rae kicks you under the table.

“what are you doing?” mr kim turns and hisses into your back. “introduce yourself!”

“uh- dad, i heard the food today is-”

“mr kim, is she not feeling well? does she need to be excused?”

you wince to yourself, fists clenched and teeth chewing down on your bottom lip. a million thoughts run through your mind in a second.

run away and get scolded by mr kim later? then you’d have to explain to your team why you did. hide your face with your hair and introduce yourself without your name? who do you think you are, shin hari?

maybe he wouldn’t recognise me, like his son.

“ah... shit-” with a great amount of courage, you turn and suck in a deep breath, standing up and tucking your hair behind your ear. “l/n y/n, i’m helping-”

“oh?!”

nevermind.

“jay!” the CEO trills, pointing to you and even walking around the table to get a closer look. “it’s y/n!”

in the corner of your eye, you can make out just a tiny percentage of how confused your department colleagues were.

“my god! it’s been so long!” and the CEO throws his arms around you, awkwardly giving you a hug with your hands pressed into your sides. “how are your parents? how are you? oh, my...! did you know she worked here? do you remember her? why are you acting like you don’t?!”

jay lowers his head after catching your eyes.

“i- vaguely remember-”

“‘vaguely’?! how can you forget? you two were inseparable back in the day!”

now, jay looks up. his features are all stressed into the middle of his face and his eyes are wide, eyebrows high on his forehead as he sucks his lips between his teeth.

“weren’t we just talking about sending someone from the marketing department to japan with you for the conference next month? oh! if y/n’s here then that means she’s passed the interview with flying colors! she’d be more than qualified to shadow mrs yoon!”

japan?

“dad-”

“mr kim, have her application and resume sent to me and mrs yoon. i’ll have it seen that her and your team get the best opportunities there are-”

“dad, you can’t do that because you know the employee-”

“weren’t you just talking to me about employee welfare on your first day of work?” the CEO crosses his arms and squints at his son. jay bites on his bottom lip, sighing while he stares at the ground. “i’m doing just that right now, so what is this hypocrisy?”

mi rae, woo shik and mr kim are all equally confused, which is made even worse when the CEO gives you another hug. “oh, it’s been too long. too long! we must have dinner with your parents soon, hm?”

“yes, mr park,” the greeting slips off your tongue. the cringe sets in your fingers as you ball your fists.

“oh...! ‘mr park’!” he pats you on the upper arm. “she used to call me ‘uncle park’ back when she was still just a tiny thing! oh, i would love to stay and chat but we must have lunch and go off to a meeting at the harbour. i’ll have some treats sent to the marketing department later today- mr kwon?”

“uh- yes, of course, mr park. i’ll have paris baguette send over some pastries for tea later.”

“very good. it’s been such a great pleasure seeing you again, y/n. catch up soon,” with a wide smile, the CEO turns to his son. “come, jay. what were you saying about lunch?”

the group of you lower your head, bowing in respect. mr kwon is turning around as he tails jay and his father, squinting at you. he’s confused because he saw you with jay on the first day.

mr kim is also confused because he saw the same.

and then there’s mi rae and woo shik.

“before you say anything-”

“you were friends with the jay park jong seong?!”

“i-”

“why didn’t you tell us? why didn’t the CEO know? what- i- this is so mindboggling!”

you sit back down next to mr kim, who is looking at the embarrassment and conflict on your face fade into resignation.

mindboggling? i agree.

when you reach the office with mi rae and wooshik debating about something they saw on tiktok, mr kim is quiet as he walked alongside you. you know he’s going to say something, probably lecture you for not telling him that you personally knew the CEO-in-training, but this is jay’s fault for not even acknowledging you.

two hours into the afternoon, you were cc-ed an email from mr kwon that looped you into a discussion about overseas marketing. the list of email addresses it was also cc-ed to included a certain mrs yoon se won and kim ji hyuk, followed by jay park jongseong and his father.

mi rae and woo shik weren’t included.

almost on cue, kim ji hyuk shows up at the door with a little box of paris baguette pastries, casually swinging it like it were a handbag.

“food!” mi rae hops off her seat and rushes for the box, which kim ji hyuk gladly lets go of.

“y/n, may i speak with you for awhile?”

the party of four turn to look at you, a brooding weight of shame washing over you like a dark cloud.

you tail mr kim into his office, which he doesn’t even bother to sit you down before he starts.

“how are you and jay involved with one another? ex-boyfriend?”

your eyes are stuck to the floor. “no.”

he inhales sharply, bringing his hands up to his hips, “would you mind sharing? i think it came as a shock to everyone. even you were. i don’t want our department being the source of entertainment for others, especially when it comes to relationships with the CEO and his son.”

hearing it made it worse than it was already making you feel.

“jay and i used to be close. our families were close. back when we were like six... to like- ten or eleven. but he moved and we lost contact.”

vocalising it felt alot more worse than knowing it on your own.

“is that why he was touring you around on the first day?”

a moment of hesitation. “i don’t... know why he did that. i met him at the admin desk when ms nam was handling the administration matters and i recognised him... but he just... treated me like i was just another employee.”

kim ji hyuk sucks in another deep breath, crossing his arms. “so he didn’t acknowledge you as someone he already knew?”

you shake your head.

maybe it was because he had kids of his own. maybe he knew jay on a personal level. maybe he knew something you didn’t.

but whilst you were expecting a lecture or discrimination of some type, kim ji hyuk pats you on the shoulder.

“are you going to ask him about it? they seem pretty serious about sending you to japan. you’ll be stuck with jay for about a week. i’m not talking about sharing a room and whatnot, but you’d be seeing him the moment you sit to have breakfast and until your day’s schedule ends.”

looking up, kim ji hyuk has this look of sympathy on his face.

“can’t you send wooshik or mi rae? i’ll replace them on whatever projects they’re handling now.”

kim ji hyuk’s pupils waver, looking away for a moment as he gives it a thought. he retreats his hand from your shoulder and shoves them into his pockets. “mr park seems to be pretty excited to send you because he knows you and jay know each other, so unless you have a valid reason, he’s not going to allow mi rae or wooshik to take your place. he’d just... not send anybody from the marketing department.”

he pauses, then in a less-corporate-tone, says, ”this is good opportunity for you. if you do your job well, it’ll reflect well on the department. it’ll reflect well on me. but i absolutely do not want to send you on a journey with someone whom you clearly can’t understand did what he did, so i need you to promise me that if you go, you have to remain professional, and if you can’t, then i won’t send you to japan.”

the words echo in your head, like a reminder that somehow, a perfect fairytale from your childhood has turned your professional life into a sticky web of mess.

and yet you don’t know why.

like you, jay had already had this nagging instinct that mr kwon was staring lazers into his back everytime they were in the same room. how dare the CEO-in-training act in such a manner in public, infront of employees? with no ounce of grace and so much shame?

the young entrepreneur thought to use mr kwon’s delivery service to the marketing department to run off into another part of the building ‘in search of company archives so he could learn more’, but the secretary seemed pretty apt in catching his new boss scurrying around like a little rat.

“mr kwon!” jay blinks an embarrassed expression as he literally runs into him around the corridor corner. “i was just... looking for you!”

unimpressed, mr kwon crosses his arms. “looking for me in the cargo lift lobby?”

jay clears his throat, mischievous grin wiped from his face. he scratches the back of his head, looking away and sniffling.

“mind explaining what the hell happened in the eatery?”

jay pouts a little, looking everywhere except mr kwon. “well- it just seemed- like- ms l/n- and my father-”

“talk at this speed and we’ll be here the entire day, jay,” mr kwon tilts his head. “you were with her on your first day. clearly, you don’t hate her. clearly, you know her. why are you acting like you don’t?”

“i’m not acting-”

“your father wants to send her to japan with you to meet mrs yoon. don’t be a disgrace and treat her like she’s invisible.”

“i won’t-”

“so why are you avoiding her? did she step on a wrong toe? is she an ex-girlfriend?”

jay shoves his hands into his pockets so he can ball them into fists.

“your father said you were inseparable. childhood friends?”

a moment.

jay nods.

mr kwon considers the thought processes. he’s known jay since he was a teenager, and he’s not a bad kid. in fact, he knows jay is a mature person, who did things with reasons albeit never really sharing them.

“i’m guessing you have feelings for her and you don’t want to complicate it with work.”

jay looks up from the floor, a small frown on his face.

“i’m right,” mr kwon sighs loudly, turning away and looking around the corridor. he reaches up and scratches his forehead. “your father would rather not send anybody to japan if it’s not her, because he knows her personally. that would leave you with mrs yoon.”

“can’t you send someone else? can’t you go with me? what about mr kim?”

“i have to stay to help your father with his meetings, and mr kim has to stay to oversee what his department is doing.”

jay winces, running a hand through his hair. now that the cat is out of the bag, his frustration pours out in his slumped shoulders and stressed brows. jay can’t fight the urge to scratch his head, messing his hair up in the process.

“i had forgotten about her. i tried to move on... i was waiting for an appropriate time to look for her once i’ve settled here but then i rolled up to the building and saw her and all i wanted to do was to run over and say hi and ask her everything i could but she was with her boyfriend and i just thought i couldn’t get close to her again because she already had a boyfriend and i didn’t want to ruin the company dynamics or make it awkward for anybody or make it difficult or complicated for her because i’m the new CEO-in-training and i thought i could do it but i couldn’t because i ended up giving her that damn tour and bringing her to mr kim even though he could come get her himself and then i managed to avoid her for like two weeks only for my dad to ruin it infront of other people and now she’s being sent to japan with me? what am i supposed to do, ask her boyfriend for permission?”

jay sucks in a deep breath.

“sorry.”

“are you done?”

jay nods.

“firstly, don’t ask her boyfriend for permission. that’s already mixing personal life and work life. secondly, does your father know about your predicament?”

jay shakes his head.

“so he thinks you were just...”

the younger nods.

mr kwon groans, bring his hands up to his face and rubbing his temples. “look, mr kim is already looking into seeking approval for y/n to follow you to japan. if y/n agrees, then you’ll have to work with her for 7 days, see her for most of everyday. would you be able to do that?”

“i can, i just... wouldn’t know how to explain myself if she confronts it.”

“did she acknowledge you on the first day?”

jay shakes his head. “she’s... mirroring me. i know she remembers me, but she’s doing the same as i’m doing to her, and i don’t know why.”

“what do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” mr kwon almost rolls his eyes and reaches out to shove jay. “you act like you don’t know her so why should she be the first to put her pride down and say ‘hi’? think about how hurt she is.”

mr kwon can feel the weight of the atmosphere when the silence falls. he watches jay lean back against the wall, head hung low.

“i know you did it out of courtesy that she has a boyfriend, but do not let this affect your work. if she confronts it, explain yourself.”

“you want me to confess to someone who already has a boyfriend?”

“i want you to explain like the mature man you are. you might’ve done a dumb thing but you can fix it the smart way, even if it means throwing your pride away, even if it shocks her. she wanted an explanation, so she will have it.”

jay looks up at mr kwon through his messed-up fringe. he can’t decide if that’s great or horrible advice.

“i’ll weigh my options,” he quietly pushes himself off the wall. “i’ll go run through some documents. my dad wants me to start prepping them for the japan trip.”

mr kwon lets jay give him a deep bow and watches him turn on his heels, walking back towards the CEOs’ offices.

“thanks for waking up early just to call,” you hold the phone to your ear, passport in your other hand and luggage by your knees. “i’ll text you when i touch down in japan.”

“mhm, you better. please take care of yourself?”

“sure,” you look up from your feet, looking out the entrance of the airport and spot an expensive car stop at the drop-off point. “i’m covered by insurance anyway.”

“you know that’s not what i meant.”

chuckling in response, you watch as mr kwon comes out of the car to get the door open for jay’s father, and jay himself comes out the other side, walking around the vehicle to open the car boot. jay was in a casual shirt with a blazer over and formal pants - and those formal shoes cannot be comfortable - but he probably didn’t have a choice.

“the CEO’s here, i think i have to go.”

“okay, remember to text me when you’ve touched down and reached the hotel.”

“okay,” the party of three make their way into the hall. “bye, jake.”

“bye, love.”

grimly keeping your phone into your jacket pocket, you stand as jay’s father spots you first, and you immediately lower your head as a greeting.

“mr park.”

“y/n! oh, i hope we haven’t been keeping you waiting for long.”

“not at all,” you purse your lips in a tight smile. “i was early.”

“did your parents not send you? i was hoping to meet them.”

“ah, they have to work. i didn’t want them waking up too early.”

“are they still working at the winter clothes shop?”

“they’ve actually opened their own snack shop near a high school a couple of years ago.”

“is that so? what’s the name of the store?”

“‘the uniformed crowd’! i thought of it when they were asking me for ideas,” the excitement makes you look dumb for awhile, so you purse your lips and wave it off. “it’s just something i thought of.”

jay’s father blinks at you for a moment, then turns to mr kwon and says, “google the store name and send some tonic and birds’ nest over.”

your eyes widen, both mr kwon and jay turn to look at the working CEO.

“i’ll have it addressed from the company as employee benefits-” mr kwon clears his throat.

“what? no. address it from me, with my full name on it. i’ll have a card written and sent with the package.”

“mr park, please, you don’t have to-”

“i must. you don’t know how horrible i felt when we lost contact with your family. oh, the days jay spent crying because he missed you-”

“dad,” jay coughs, lowering his head and inhaling a harsh breath. “i think it’s best we check-in our luggage.”

“oh, you’re right, better not be late for your flight!”

once through the departure gates, mr kwon and mr park seem like a comedic pair of husbands sending their children off - they weren’t that far apart in age, so it wouldn’t have been too awkward - unlike you and jay, of course.

hate isn’t strong enough a word to describe how horrible this feels. to be in a place with another person you know, you definitely know, and yet not say a word to each other. it’s fine if it’s someone you’re not close to, that’s natural. that’s how you were with wooshik during the first week of work, and even now.

but you don’t don’t know jay. there’s still a slither of hope that he’d be the one to cave in first, cross his arms and whine at you for keeping up your ‘stranger’ facade for so long.

you look to the other end of the row of seats, only to see him studying the boarding pass as if it were some kind of essay with a bunch of details to memorise.

‘it’s just your name, your seat number, flight number, flight time, destination- what else is there on the stupid thing?’ you think, rolling your eyes to look out the window instead.

“business class passengers, please head to the boarding gate. kindly prepare your boarding pass and passport upon entry, thank you.”

jay stands first, picking up his briefcase and turning to you.

“come on,” he nods his head toward the boarding entry. picking up your little backpack, you tail him and watch as he greets the airport staff.

it’s the usual routine when you get on, but you’re definitely not used to how huge and spacious the business class seats were. jay takes his seat first, calmly looking through the little seat pockets.

so you focus on your own bag, only taking out your iPad, then trying to lift it onto the storage space above the seats.

but of course, it’s too high for you, and you’re this close to stepping on your seat to push it up, until jay suddenly stands, grabbing your forearm.

you can feel the heat from his palm through your blouse.

he’s staring at you intently now. for a moment, you’d think he’d tell you off for wanting to step on the seat because his lips part. but he swallows, bobbing his adam’s apple in the process. jay pulls you down, forcing you to retreat your leg, before he climbs out onto the isle and helps shove your bag into the storage compartment.

he pushes the door down with ease, leaving you to watch him awkwardly from earth.

“tell me if you need it along the way,” he pulls his blazer off and casually leaves it over your shoulder. the scent of his cologne almost immediately swamps your nostrils, but he barely provides you with a smile before lowering his head and plopping himself back down in his seat.

a frown settles on your face, but he’s too busy staring at the stupid brochure he pulled out from the seat pocket.

the brochure’s the last of your worries though, because you had clearly forgotten what it felt like to be suffering from motion sickness.

yep, i’m one of those girls.

“could i get some warm water?” you whisper lowly to the air stewardness when she finally comes by.

“of course.”

“thanks,” you turn back to face the screen. gulp. your stomach growls silently.

the whole cabin looks like it’s shaking. your ears are barely picking anything up. the corner of a paperbag’s sticking out from the seat pocket-

jay’s faster than you when he reaches for the paper bag and almost tears it apart as he tries to open it, then he holds it under your nose as you hurl your breakfast into it. through teary eyes, you spot his free hand fumbling around your seat pockets and he pulls out a second one, taking it and shoving it into your hands.

he urgently jabs the ‘call’ button, and within a few moments, the stewardess shows up with warm water.

“hey, can i get more paper bags and maybe a lemon slice or two?”

“oh, of course! there should be one more in your seat pocket while i go get some more.”

“okay, thanks,” jay takes the cup from her and carefully stocks it into your cup holder. you wait for him to search through his seat pockets.

he doesn’t.

“are you okay?”

“are you okay? you look sick.”

your mouth is consistently salivating, and something feels wrong in your stomach. the view of the sea extended so far out, you thought it was beautiful - that is, until your body disagreed.

“i’m gonna hurl-”

“what? don’t hurl on deck!” jay squeals, turning around and immediately running back indoors. you had assumed your best fried had chosen to ditch you, but he returns right in the knick of time and almost shoves your face into a plastic bag.

“oh, ewwwww,” he whines, looking away as you retch into it.

“y/n? y/n!” jay’s mother rushes out onto the deck, nearly sliding on her knees as she anxiously pats your back. “are you okay? watch her, jay, i’ll go get her some lemonade.”

by the time you’re done regurgitating your breakfast, jay’s more than disgusted when he pulls the plastic bag away from you. he holds it as far as he can, and ties the handles to seal it.

the door bursts open again, and his mother is holding a glass of lemonade with a little bottle of medicated oil.

“come here, sweet,” she kneels, pushing your wind-blown hair out of your face. “oh, you must have motion sickness. i’m so sorry, i wouldn’t have chosen a cruise if i knew.”

she hands you the glass of lemonade, which almost instantly makes you feel better, then opens the bottle of medicated oil and rubs some on your temples.

“feel better?” she waits for you to finish the lemonade before asking. with a gentle, tired nod, you let her take the glass from you. “i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay, i didn’t know either,” shaking your head, you look at the empty glass. “can i have more?”

“can i get lemonade if you have those? maybe lime juice or some sort?” jay requests again when the stewardess returns with more paper bags.

you can hear her hesitate for a moment, before she goes, “i’ll check and be right back if we have any.”

“thank you,” he pulls the paper bag away and holds your chin, tilting your head upwards. the sound of the paper bag crinkling tells you he’s probably twisting the mouth of it and keeping it elsewhere, then reaches into his blazer (that was still on you) pocket and pulls out a bottle of medicated oil.

“hold on to the paper bag,” he instructs, opening the bottle and dabbing his finger onto the tip. the scent of the medicated oil washes away the stench of the vomit, and a sigh of relief escapes your throat when he presses his fingers into your temples. your breath is trembling, but it slowly regulates to a norm with every circle he draws on your skin.

“mr park, one cup of lemonade and some paper bags.”

“oh, that’s great, thank you.”

“please let me know if you need anything else.”

“thanks.”

the sound of her corkshoes step away, leaving you and your haggard breathing alone with jay, who's doubling as a babysitter right now. once the stewardess had gone, you slowly open your eyes, letting your vision return to normal and your heart calm.

in the corner of your eye, you can see jay reaching down to dab more medicated oil, so you sit up and clear your throat instead, “i’m fine.”

he halts in his movements, barely touching the tip of the bottle. without a word, he caps it, then proceeds to wipe his hands.

“thank you.”

he doesn’t acknowledge, simply slipping the medicated oil back into the blazer pocket.

“you know where to get the medicated oil if you feel nauseous again.”

you’re a little embarrassed when you get off the plane and see the same stewardess who ran back and forth for your paper bags and lemonade at the gate, but she does nothing but greet you with a smile. some part of you had expected her to snicker, but she’s a professional, unlike you.

after you’ve collected your luggage and headed for the escalator leading to the exit, jay’s already on his phone and making some calls. only now do you realise you’re still wearing his blazer. so, you begin pulling it off to return it to him.

yet, he stays on the phonecall for a considerable amount of time, and even after getting off the escalator, he’s still on it. you walk by the crowd welcoming the plane’s passengers, tailing jay, until he almost abruptly stops as he greets a lady in a blazer jumpsuit.

he finally keeps his phone.

“mrs yoon!” jay puts on this wide, gorgeous smile, that you haven’t seen for such a long time. there’s this annoying ball of anxiety hurtling about in your chest when you can see his canine teeth and his eyes fold into crescents.

“well, i haven’t seen you for some years and you’ve grown!”

his smile is still the same.

“...me introduce you,” jay turns around and holds an arm out. “this is ms l/n y/n. she’s one of our newest marketing researchers.”

mrs yoon is your height, but she’s in heels. she has obviously-dyed hair, and has definitely spent a significant amount of time on her makeup and curled hair. she looks tired, but also like someone who would hold a cockroach by it’s wings to catch it.

“pleasure to meet you, mrs yoon. please guide me along the way, i’m so honored to be learning from you on this trip,” you hold your hand out.

mrs yoon’s eyes dart down to your hand, and the awkwardness begins to creep up on you. there’s an impending feeling of danger and threat when mrs yoon seems to be refusing your handshake, but then she sighs and her shoulders slump.

“an honor to be learning from me? oh, please! one of the three marketing researchers of park’s?” she shakes her head and tuts her tongue, taking your hand and sandwiching them between hers. she has a wedding band on her finger. “i couldn’t be in your position back then at your age. park must trust you a lot to send you here with his son.”

“and this,” she reaches down to your arm, pulling the blazer off. “why’d you make her carry your blazer for you? she’s not your personal assistant, is she?”

“oh, no, no!” you hurriedly wave your hands, eyes widening as a gentle frown on her face starts to scare jay. “he lent it to me on the plane. i left mine in my luggage.”

“ah, couldn’t you have said that earlier?” she continues to shove the blazer back into jay’s hand, then reaches down into her canvas-sized Dolce & Gabbana bag to pull out a scarf. “you must’ve been freezing! going onto the plane without a jacket! come, let’s go for the 11am meeting, then i’ll take the both of you to lunch.”

and with that, she slides an arm across your upper back, patting your arms as she guides you off. with a slightly surprised demeanour, you turn to jay, searching for any sign of comfort.

which he does provide you - a kind smile, a reassuring nod, as he mouths ‘it’s alright, i’m here’.

the meeting felt like being thrown back into classroom - just without the equations that confused you or the vocabulary that you couldn’t understand. no, you understood perfectly what every word was said in that room, but given the context?

nothing.

but mrs yoon can tell you’re confused, so she takes it upon herself to ask the presenters to dumb the explanations down a little for easier clarification and to ‘minimise confusion’. maybe it was the way she said it, or maybe because she was the company’s representative for Japan.

the presenters dumb the content down, and essentially gave a summary of the 50 slides they had, and whilst you were feeling grateful to mrs yoon for making your job easier, there’s a reminder that you’re lucky you weren’t on the other end of this conference.

“you’ve managed to consolidate all your content into a five minute break-down with much simpler terms. why’d you need half an hour for all that prior?”

yikes.

jay leans back in his seat. he can tell you’re flustered from across the table, so he has this little, sneaky smile on his lips before he looks down at his documents. he definitely finds it amusing to see you react to mrs yoon’s work atittude.

what’s he laughing at? a little grin threatens to surface on your lips. no, i will not cave first.

but if you had to choose a favourite moment admist all these culture shocks and surprises, it’d have to be when jay totally forgets about the fact that he knows you, and that he was pretending not to. it’s ironic, considering you had hated his pretence so much, so hard, since the first day at work.

maybe it’s because you hadn’t seen him for so long - having him speak to you without that barrier and the additional caution of saying something wrong felt more natural than any other thing he’s said to you in the last twenty days. he’s not concerned about bumping hands with you when he hands you a document or when you hand him the glass of water he asked for. he goes ‘check the stats for last year’s quarter for me, would you?’ without even looking at you.

he has no time or space for a problem, a problem that is you, when he is working, and that’s when it feels the least tiring, the least complicated.

but at the end of the day, when you’re back in your hotel room and supposed to give jake a call, all you can think of is: “so why are you avoiding me?”

jay yawns, leaning back in his sofa seat with the documents strewn about on the glass, coffee table. he looks around the room, which was a corner suite, and his immediate thought is, “why’d they give me such a huge room when there’s just me?”

he scoffs to himself, running a hand through his hair, then rubs his palms over his face in tired exasperation. he lets out a long, painful groan, shutting his eyes and letting the last four days of intense working get to him.

he sits up, looking at himself in the reflection of his balcony sliding door. his hair is in a mess and he probably looks like he should get some sleep, but all he can think about is you next door, probably calling your boyfriend and complaining about how distant he is, how cold and confusing his actions have been.

he might just have to jab his own eyes to stop himself from looking at you anymore.

ring. ring. ring.

“hi, mrs yoon,” he tucks his free hand under the other as he holds the phone up to his ear.

“hey, i’m so sorry to call so late. but i just wanted to tell you that the meeting tomorrow with the embassy has been cancelled. your father will have it online next week instead.”

“ah,” jay rubs an eye. “that’s-”

“so that clears up your schedule, right? with y/n?”

jay sits up and leans his elbows on the table. “not on first-name-basis with her anymore?”

“oh, she’s such a joy to guide! but yes, that does clear up your schedule with her, doesn’t it?”

he hums in quiet contemplation. “yeah. might be able to catch a flight home tomorrow then-”

“oh, no, no! take her on a tour around osaka, would you? i have these vouchers and gift cards that i wouldn’t be able to use and my daughter would spend all her time on these cafes instead of studying.”

a small chuckle, but jay is in slight shock. he’s not prepared. “mrs yoon, we’re here for work. i don’t think it’s appropriate-”

“who said you aren’t? you’re going around osaka for recces for future publicity or commercial uses. wherever you go, note the menu prices, note the space and the location, whether they are photogenic and whether they are accessible by public transport or private.”

jay wants to groan his frustration away, but he can’t. he almost slams his face into his palm. “have you told my father?”

“i’ll tell him after.”

“is that a good idea?”

“what’s he going to do, fly here and drag you home?”

“the money spent is technically yours. it won’t be reimbursed.”

“and the company benefits. what seems to be the issue?”

through parted lips, jay sucks in a harsh breath. “i understand that you want y/n to have fun on the trip, but this seems... somewhat unprofessional.”

there’s an awkward pause over the call, and mrs yoon sighs as well. “you and your professionalism. just like your father!”

jay smiles to himself, somehow eased by her little outburst. “let me inform my father regarding the change of plans. i’ll check if we can get the vouchers and gift cards you’ll be giving us reimbursed and logged under expenditure and then i’ll take her out on the tour, okay?”

“will your father even see this by tomorrow morning?”

“my father might not, but mr kwon would.”

another pause. “fine. and if mr kwon doesn’t approve, just take the vouchers and gift cards anyway!”

jay laughs. “goodnight, mrs yoon.”

“...goodnight, jay.”

pulling his phone away from his ear and processing the change in schedule, jay can’t help but sigh again. if he had a dollar everytime he sighed, maybe he’d be a little richer than when he first started on this trip.

back in his office, mr kwon read the email the moment it was sent. the little ding had pulled his attention from packing his briefcase to the computer screen - it was a late night, but only because james park had literally peer pressured him into having a steamboat dinner with him.

normally, he’d refuse, and use the excuse of office hours to stay out of his business, but mr kwon can tell his boss is feeling lonely because his son is out of town, so he usually relents and indulges in the good things that he’s being offered.

but he pulls out his glasses and reads the email, sent directly from jay, and he’s a little more than concerned when it sounds more like an excuse to go on a date with his crush (read: subordinate).

that is, until mrs yoon sends an email as well, in a much less freedom-of-choice tone.

Change of Schedule

Yoon Se Won - Japan Representative and Marketing Executive, Sinar Tours

to: Kwon Jung Hwan

Good evening Kwon,

Following the cancellation of the embassy’s meeting with us, this frees up Jay and y/n’s schedule. Jay would’ve already sent you an email regarding the updated schedule. It was my idea. If I was available to give them the tour myself, I would’ve. But I have a last minute conference with the subsidiaries here.

Let the kids go on a one day trip. Jay will keep log of the necessary details for the overseas department, and I will make sure I’ll have these documents collected. They’ve done well the last four days, one day of rest wouldn’t hurt.

Let me know if you have any issues. Should James disapprove, let him know that the company doesn’t need to cover their costs. Thanks.

Regards,

Se Won

mr kwon groans, pulling his glasses off and scratching his forehead.

RE: Change of Schedule

Kwon Jung Hwan - Secretary of the CEO’s Office, Sinar Tours

to: Yoon Se Won, Jay Park Jong Seong

Thank you for the appropriatedly-timed email,

Please retain any receipts of payment throughout your schedule. We will arrange private transportation for Mr Park and Ms l/n. Please see attached for details and contact numbers of those involved.

Goodnight,

Kwon

“yeah, i know. just frustrating that he doesn’t want to talk me through this. mhm,” you roll around on your bed, hair flared out against the sheets. “mhm. i know. okay, goodnight. call you tomorrow after the meeting? yeah, okay. goodnight.”

pulling the phone away from your ear, you lock your phone screen and sigh, inhaling the lavender scent of the room.

knock knock.

“room service!”

a frown sets in your forehead as you sit up, eyes darting to the door.

“hi, delivery for ms l/n y/n?” the hotel staff, who isn’t even a housekeeper, stood outside with a boutique box in her hands.

“uh... yes?”

“mr park had this sent to your room.”

“mr park...?”

“of sinar tours. isn’t that-”

“yeah, i know...” she hands the box to you. “but which-”

“mr park jong seong!” she smiles. your eyes fall onto the box, and in the corner, you recognise the LV logo. “goodnight, ms l/n.”

“ah, goodnight to you too.”

memory takes you back to that phone call he had on the escalator when you first touched down in japan.

a little wince and groan, before you decide to take the box and throw on a hoodie to leave your room.

jay had just come out of the shower and drying his hair with the towel around his neck when the door knocked. he’s a little stunned to see you through the peephole carrying the Louis Vuitton package he had ordered for you, then he hears a little ding of the delivery message.

he swallows, opening the door after a few seconds.

you thought he’d tell you to go away, that it was just a gift because you didn’t seem to have a nice blazer of your own, but he’s just staring at you the same way you’re staring at him.

the scent of the hotel shampoo and bath gel wafts through your nose, and you can vaguely feel the warmth pouring out from his bathroom. his wet hair is slicked and covering most of his forehead, and it felt like he had frozen in time.

if only you could’ve actually frozen him in time, so that he’d never leave you. his face and his entire being something you wished you could’ve taken a screenshot and kept forever, maybe make a clone that would’ve stayed with you the last ten years; forge his DNA onto someone else, print his face and stick it onto someone else’s head.

anything to have him back.

why are you so near but so far away from me?

all the things you wanted to ask surfaces on your tongue again.

he’s here now, but he’s no longer the little boy you cried to about getting your period.

he’s here now, after disappearing for 10 years, after promising he’d be here for you whenever he needed it.

“pinky promise?”

jay looks up from his little gameboy, confused. “promise what?”

“that you’ll always be my best friend. that if i got mad or sad, i can always go to you.”

jay pouts. “i’m not going to leave, why do i have to promise this? now you’re making me sad.”

“just promise me!” you hold out your pinky finger and jab his tummy with it.

“okay, i promise!”

but he broke his promise. and not only that, he’s treating you worse than if you were a stranger.

“i can’t take this,” you abruptly snap yourself out of your trance. holding the box out to him. “i’m sorry i don’t have a more presentable blazer, but i’ll get one soon.”

jay grips the end of the towel on either side of his shoulders. “that wasn’t what i meant when i ordered it for you.”

‘for you’?

your heart drops, not because you thought this was sweet, but because he’s just being so fucking confusing.

“we have some free time tomorrow before the embassy meeting. i’ll head to the nearby department store to buy a new blazer.”

“um, about that,” he rubs the back of his neck. “the meeting’s cancelled.”

you blink at him. “oh. does that mean we’re going home tomorrow?”

“no, we have to... um, go on a recce. for locations that we can use for future commercial and promotional purposes.”

“i’m... not following.”

jay gulps, sucking in a deep breath. his eyes roll up to look at the ceiling like he were blinking tears away, and the whites under his pupils seem so glaring to you. “we’re going touring for work,” he says, now looking back down at you. “we’re going to cafes and resturants and souvenir stores that aren’t commonly visited by tourists. we need to log their catalogue or menu so that we can promote these places.”

your lips part first before the sound of acknowledgement can come out. “ah...” you want to say ‘that sounds fun’, but you look down and see the box in your hand again. it ruins your slightly-elevated mood. “anyway, here. i can get a blazer when we’re at one of these stores, i’m sure.”

“it’s for you. take it,” his voice settles. you can tell he can’t really look you in the eye now, because he’s looking at everywhere but your face.

but when he does, there’s this strange, magnetic force that’s begging you to wrap your hands around him, ask him where he’s been and why he’s been treating you so horribly. for a moment, you think he’s feeling the same. his lips are slightly curled downwards, tired eyes are begging for you to cave in first, and his grip on his towel is getting tighter, as if he were desperately trying to hold back from-

“it’s late,” he finally sucks in a deep breath, his chest expanding as he looks back into his room. “you should get some rest. be up by 9am.”

the moment has been completely shattered, and you almost want to scoff at the thought of him being such a coward, but you nod and retreat the box.

“okay. thank you for the blazer, nonetheless.”

jay doesn’t even respond. he barely nods. he steps back into his room and closes the door on you.

the sudden emptiness in the form of a door closing on you feels horrible. there’s a little ball stuck in the back of your throat and you don’t know why. or do you? your hands are trembling, holding the box, simply because there’s clearly something holding him back from caring for you like he used to.

but what could be more important than reuniting with your best friend?

jay almost dies once he’s out of your sight. there’s a frown cemented into his face, and he’s biting into his bottom lip for being such a scum.

the moment he had seen you in person outside his door, he wanted nothing but to hug you and cup your face and perhaps kiss you, get everything out of you because he got none of you in the last 10 years.

he wouldn’t consider life without you hard, but it would’ve been so much easier if you were around to listen to his worries, or just... be there. as he grew older and a little wiser, his circle of friends that hadn’t even been around for long began to shrink, and before he knew it, he was yanked back here, a place where he should feel at home.

but that’s the problem.

you were his home, but he wasn’t the only person who thought of you that way.

he clenches his fists, pulling the towel off his neck and almost hurls it onto his bed.

jay would be lying if he said he didn’t melt into a puddle of goop once he saw how beautiful the blazer was on you. he didn’t know if it was because the blazer itself was pretty, or whether you had complemented it.

it was a newly launched piece, and he thought about you the moment he saw it. he was just waiting for the right time.

but there you were, excitably noting down every single thing in the menu and their prices. even without him saying anything, you even made the effort to order a corn cup for him.

was that your way of saying something?

but jay is a little boy with a hopeless, unrequited love wrapped in clothing that screams ‘i am a professional’, so he remains just that. he eats without a word, only every now and then asking how the food you were having was.

you were treating this recce so much more seriously than what it was originally planned as, it tickled him in a strange part of his heart to see you having fun at work, in a company that would eventually be his.

it could be yours too.

should.

would have.

jay snaps out of it, hurriedly looking out the window of the cafe before you catch him staring.

your last location was a restaurant down by the river, and it was a pleasant surprise when the manager personally came to see you and jay to the table. it had the most gorgeous view over the city with the glimmering river just right below, and it was even more of a surprise when the manager began speaking to jay in japanese.

all you could was offer a service smile, nodding and half-bowing everytime he looked at you. but when you whipped out your notebook to write down the menu details, jay stops you.

“we’re not here for work. mrs yoon had a gift voucher for this restaurant, and they’re a long time collaborator with us.”

“ah,” you sheepishly keep the notebook. “so, what did he say? i didn’t know you could speak japanese.”

jay blinks in contemplation.

“good evening, mr park. how’s your father and mrs yoon?”

“they’re doing well. how about you?”

“oh, the same old!” he paused. “who is this? colleague?” a cheeky pause. “girlfriend?”

jay had looked to you in the corner of his eye, but you were too busy admiring the city out the window.

“my best friend from a long time ago.”

“hmm,” the manager somehow maintains a professional smile. “best friend to her, but what about you?”

jay is in slight disbelief. “i-”

“yare yare! let me bring you the new in-house five-course meal, shall i?”

“asked about my parents and mrs yoon and whether we’d like to try their new in-house five-course special or the usuals.”

you nod slowly, feeling the awkward tension settle. if you could put it into words, it feels like a bunch of earphones tangled together.

fortunately for you, the food is a pleasing distraction from jay. mr higasa was more than happy to try his best to explain the food to you whilst you had it like you haven’t eaten in days. his enthusiasm and animated gestures made it all the more worth it.

maybe that’s why jay’s family loved him so much.

but mr higasa held none of jay’s attention, for his eyes were on you the entire night. your little frowns and squints at mr higasa while trying to understand and guess his mangled, unfluent speech made him want to sob. all the small attempts to live up to mr higasa’s energy made him want to smile, until he remembers that all of you already belonged to someone else.

someone else would’ve already been seeing this the last few years, had the chance to tell you how pretty you were when you’re trying; had the chance to admire how you always showed how much you loved doing whatever it was you were doing.

the frustrations builds in his chest, and it slowly wipes the smile off his face.

mr higasa ends the night with a deep bow and a wide smile on his face at the entrance of the restaurant. “thank you for coming. please come again, i make sure the prawn salad perfect!”

“thank you for the food, it was wonderful,” you smile and return the bow.

“heading back to hotel now? when are you going home?”

“our flight is tomorrow morning, so yeah, we should be heading back to the hotel.”

“you must walk along river! in the night... very pretty!”

jay squints at the manager from behind you.

“really?”

jay can hear the excitement in your voice and how beautifully you fell for mr higasa’s trick.

“of course! ask jay to bring you!”

“oh,” you turn and look at jay with a pathetic smile. “i think we’d better not. our flight is early tomorrow-”

“river just downstairs,” he waves a mindless hand in the air. “okay, okay! sayonara, safe flight home! you take ms l/n, okay?” lifting a finger and gesturing to jay, he turns on his heels and walks off.

once in the lift, you’ve returned to your little bundle of tangled earphones. stifling a little yawn, you look away and sniffle, careful not to catch his eyes in the reflection of the lift door.

“we can go back to the hotel.”

jay considers it for a moment. “no, i know where the river is. we can take a walk along it until we reach the road and call a cab.”

“we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to and if you’re tired.”

jay doesn’t respond. the silence cues you to look up, and you immediately knew he had gone quiet so he can look at you in the reflection.

“i said we’ll go, so we’ll go.”

the assertion is a little surprising, but you lower your head in acknowledgement anyway.

the first thing that struck you about the river was how quiet it was - maybe because it was a weekday night. but the sound of the water sloshing against the water banks, the rustle of the leaves in the trees and the occasional frog croaking in the high grass made you feel like you were actually on a holiday.

for a moment, you had forgotten that jay was even there.

but then the sight of a little patch of mimosas catch your attention. even under the dim lamps lining the paths, the patch of darker colored leaves had held its same significance for the last ten years.

jay’s father loved taking you to parks and fields. you remember the day he squatted you down by a little patch of mimosas, tell you how they’d close up when you touched them and how the pink flowers hooked onto your socks for them to spread to other areas.

jay loved prancing about in the grass like a little fawn, searching for them and squatting to poke at them. so eventually, you did the same. the both of you made it a point to find every single patch in every single field and close all the leaves. sometimes, you’d even make it a competition, see who could find more patches.

as you grew older and jay left, it went quiet. your parents did make an effort to bring you mimosa hunting, but it wasn’t the same when you couldn’t hear jay’s giggling or whining when he knew he was winning or losing to you.

just a few years ago - the year you had met jake, in fact - you had gone to the field where you remembered finding the largest patch of mimosas.

you remember it clear as crystal - only because you realised you had fallen for someone else while still being wholley dedicated to jay.

it was a shameful day, squatting by the stupid patch of mimosas and crying about realising you liked jake when you had promised yourself you’d wait for jay to come back no matter what. if jay was around, you could tell him what you were fussing about.

if jay hadn’t even left, you wouldn’t have fallen for jake.

this is all jay’s fault, you had thought.

but eventually, you had convinced yourself that even if jay was going to come back, he’d move on, find someone else and you’d just be his childhood friend.

who will wait ten years anyway?

there are tears in your eyes when you finally look away. only now do you realise jay has already overtaken you, standing just a few metres before you and watching you struggle to compose yourself.

but this feat is nearly impossible, and you fail thoroughly when the urge finally tears through your composure.

“why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

the question comes out airy and light, like a whisper in the wind. jay, who had already turned and ready to begin walking again, manages hears it.

you suck in a sharp breath, then ask it again, “jay, why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

fuck.

jay winces to himself, licking his lips and inhaling quietly. he turns around.

“i know you recognised me since the day we met at the administrative counter. i know because i saw the hello kitty charm in your pocket. i know because you looked like you had just seen... a ghost. me. i’m the ghost, aren’t i?”

jay shoves his hands into his pockets. he sucks in such a huge breath, his entire frame expands as he looks away. he holds his breath for a second, then exhales heavily.

the ball is back in your throat. the stupid patch of mimosas is doing nothing but trigger all your memories again. you’re caving in first, but there’s nothing more to lose anyway.

“do you know how hard it’s been... to pretend that i don’t know you? i don’t know how the fuck you do it, but i’ve kept the stupid hello kitty thing for this long- i see it and i think of you, i see the plushie you gave me that’s sitting in my bedroom everytime i get home and i think of you. i have every single letter you’ve written me packed into a box. i can’t even walk past mimosas without thinking of us fighting over who can close more patches. and- and now- i can’t even go to work in peace because i’m constantly worrying that i’m going to run into you and everything will turn awkward like what happened with your father. i’m sure he doesn’t know you’re treating me like a stranger. if he knew, surely, he’d whack you across the head.”

the tears have finally rolled out. the cool river wind kisses the trails like ice on a hot day.

“can i at least know... if you still see me as your best friend? or at least... that we once were?”

jay’s gone quiet. his eyes are silent. you’re having a hard time reading his face.

but you don’t know how hard it is for jay to be hearing this, do you? you don’t know how great it feels for it to finally be out, that one of you had finally caved in. you don’t know how horrible it feels, because jay’s answer is already on the tip of his tongue.

i’m pretending i don’t know you because you have a boyfriend. because you already have someone who can give you everything you want and everything he can. you already have someone who has been there for you when i wasn’t.

but jay can’t say it. he will bring this to his grave, for he doesn’t want to ruin your fairytale. he’s already ruined the kick-off to your career.

you’re less of a coward than he is.

you’re about to throw up when he finally, but also very suddenly, starts walking towards you, and without hesitation, he wraps his arms around you.

you take a second to process this, for his weight and force pushes you back a step or two, but the scent of his cologne wafts through your nose and the familiar warmth of him embraces you like all the hugs he should’ve given you in the last ten years had been consolidated into one.

through little chokes and voice cracks, you manage to whisper, “fuck you, this is so fucking long overdue,” part of you wants to pull away to punch him in the jaw and step on his foot for being an asshole but the tears are already blurring your vision too much.

your heart relents.

your arms circle his torso and you shove your face into his collar, letting the tears fall and this bittersweet reunion eat you up from the inside.

“i’m sorry,” he finally whispers into the top of your head. he pulls away to push your hair back, making sure none of it was stuck to your tears. “i’m sorry i pretended. i’ve always been here with you. always.”

“fuck you, no, you weren’t,” a pathetic whine escapes your lips, and jay barely chuckles before holding your head into his coat again. “please don’t leave me again. please.”

the sound of your sniffles rip him apart. not because you’re asking him of something that might’ve sounded unfair.

but because he knows he’s never left. he never did. he never will.

“i’m sorry i broke my promise. i promise i won’t leave you again.”

Part 2

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