#Just yeah I still like the more introspective character focused issues then these. I liked Soldier talking to Reese : )

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I know I say it every month but yes my stance is still “I like the new side cast but dont really like the run itself too much anymore” but I still dont hate it I swear I swear

[kitsunefyuu]

Time to Vent about MHA 424

At this point I actually have no expectations for MHA. I've basically checked out a long time ago and it seems only Bakugou for a character development arc. Fine for Bakugou fans.

Everyone else? Barely anything so yeah not really interested and it way too late to try and shove something in at the end. People are saying there still a lot of chapters left and it like, to do what? To try and shove everything into one last volume? Sure go ahead it won't change the lack of introspection or lack of development of every other part that he left dangling in the wind.

He neglected a lot of plot threads and ideas, the only thing that will be close to satisfying is maybe the Todoroki family and Ochaco if Toga alive. But beyond that anything else with Class 1-A or even Izuku our protagonist will feel forced. As nothing was developed naturally, everything Izuku experienced was told to us.

None of it was shown, nothing he did was introspection. I've started fanfic writing because I saw the writing on the walls. And decided to make character driven works. As I figured out he wasn't going to allow Izuku to have anymore introspection even if I knew I wasn't the best writer at the time.

Trying to fix and do everything last minute will be a bandaid that won't fix the lackluster development of the whole series. As he focused on every other character but his own protagonist. The GHOST in OFA got more character introspection then him and that's sad. They told Izuku how to act, feel, they said how he must feel, and Izuku wasn't allowed any thoughts.

It seems OFA having vestige might have been a mistake if he wasn't allowed to think with them. I can't see how Horikoshi can salvage that and people saying he can aren't understanding the actual issues. It not the worse writing, but this is just mid. This is basic aesop that anyone can eat and digest because there is no commentary or thoughts.

So anyone can enjoy it, but this will not be memorable and to those that had hoped for more. It could just leave bitterness if he can't even try to make something of its ending. So I have no expectations, he could make it even worse but at this point a worse ending might at least make it memorable. So who can say?

Before someone asks, I'm not going to leave the fandom that why I'm writing fanfiction. That's the benefit of learning something I can write the things I wished to see. I'm used to disappointment from a few shonens so not the first~

[arkus-rhapsode]

I guess this is still a controversial opinion in 2023, but… I think Micaiah is a good character. Like yeah I understand there are a lot of newer FE fans who are getting introduced to her through stuff like Engage and Heroes, but if you’ve been around as long as me you know that Micaiah probably was the “love or hate her” character of FE pre Edelgard/Rhea discourse.

I’m probably not gonna sway anyone who has already picked what side they fall on. I’m just gonna give you my opinion as one guy on the internet who has lived through a lot of discourse and what he thinks.

I think there are three primary complaints that people still pull out with her: She’s a Mary Sue, she’s dumb, and she’s a bad unit.

Now look, I’ll give you the bad unit. She’s a lord character that doesn’t have a lord build. She’s a light mage. Now Radiant Dawn is infamous for its difficulty and stat variation, so pairing an interesting idea of a lord who’s not a combative unit is an interesting idea on paper. But in execution it’s just really hard to play. So I get why people don’t like her as a unit.

The Mary Sue argument I’ve never been a fan of however. Yes, she has special healing powers, future sight, and all the apostle powers. But like… That’s kinda just what a lot of FE lord characters get? They get a special weapon only they can use, they have a magic blood that gives them power, they are secretly the descendant of some ultra important person or god and they’re destined for something. Like it’s kinda always just been there with FE lord characters. Hell, even non lord avatar characters like Robin and Byleth are just secretly reincarnations of gods. I think with Micaiah the issue comes in that she’s in the same game as Ike. Who was bucking the trend as a playable character that wasn’t a lord, wasn’t magically destined for anything, and isn’t secretly a child of some Uber royal. So Micaiah does feel like an oddity, but I’d argue this does create an interesting conflict of a traditional MC vs a non traditional one.

And finally the “she’s dumb” argument. So I understand that games are an interactive medium. And people value being able to make their own choices. But in the intersection of narrative and gameplay focused games, there are characters and events we don’t have control of. Micaiah makes a choice to liberate her homeland but doesn’t want to be its ruler. When Pelleas the son of Ashnard comes along and seems like a good guy, she gives it to him. This makes sense from Micaiah’s perspective-despite loving her country she doesn’t want to rule it. So when a seemingly good individual with recognized lineage comes in, she’s willing to give it up. But we the audience can see this is flawed, Sothe in game mentions this. And ultimately Micaiah’s choice is what brings Daein under Begnion. Where now she has to do things she doesn’t like in a desperate war.

I feel like in media there’s a criticism of “why don’t these characters do the logical thing that I would’ve done in this situation.” And I think games as an interactive medium enhance that as they want to make their own choices. But in a narrative a character doesn’t always need to make logical sense. A character can exist independent of what the player wants and takes actions that the viewer may disagree with. But an action a character takes that they may disagree with isn’t inherently a sign of bad writing. I personally believe that if it makes sense for the character within the context of the story, they are capable of making mistakes. And often times these flaws are what facilitates character development/introspection.

So when Micaiah makes her choice to not be ruler, it makes sense from the perspective of someone not interested in ruling. However, her choice has consequences, ultimately forcing her to do more of the things she was trying to avoid. And even if Pelleas lives or dies, Micaiah by the end of the story is now queen out of obligation rather than personal interest. The game at least seems self aware of audience would react to a flawed decision by having Sothe be the voice of obvious concern. But let’s for a moment think if she did the logical thing. Had Micaiah just held onto power at first and did nothing, there really wouldn’t be a plot for Daein or a journey for Micaiah. And it probably be a much more dull story.

Characters are allowed to be flawed and make mistakes. Make choices we don’t personally agree with. But the important thing is that flawed actions have actual consequences to them. And basically all of Daein suffering from someone who made a bad choice and is now living through it and ultimately has to rise to the position that she denied in the first place is a suitable consequence.

I think actual bad choices in narratives tend to be actions that have no real conflict as the plot needs to bend to make that choice make sense or justify a bad choice. Rather than an action having a tangible consequence that needs to be dealt with internally or externally.

So yes, Micaiah made a dumb call in Radiant Dawn. And it led to an interesting story and character development.

Now I do have issues with Micaiah: I don’t like that Yune ultimately takes over for most of part 4. I don’t like that there are no supports in RD so I had to wait till Engage to see how she may feel about certain characters. Yes, I think that she is ultimately eclipsed by the true MC of the game Ike. And yes, I don’t like her future sight. I have never liked precognition as a storytelling concept. I’m just not a fan of its inclusion.

That said, I don’t dislike Micaiah. I do actually find her an interesting character who was allowed to be flawed and not fall into the newer FE game trap of trying make her more likeable/actually secretly in the right the whole time. And maybe it’s weird that something like this discourse is still kinda around. But with stuff like Engage and talks FE4 reboot and just a general Tellius conversation still existing I felt like I might as well say where I stand on who used to be the most controversial FE character.

[karouvas]

I had been trying to figure out where some of my issues with Emma's characterization post LM came from you are absolutely right, it definitely feels like CC stopped focusing in Emma's gray morality to focus on Julian's

In theory I think the idea of their arc being Emma starting off the more ruthless and revenge driven character then easing up on that mindset as things unfold with Malcolm (I really like that little moment where she tells Julian about how her conceptions have changed since killing Malcolm didn’t give her closure, but we should have seen more of her introspection on this after it happened before bringing it back up in QoAAD) vs Julian being more of a wolf in sheep’s clothing whose manipulation and ruthlessness becomes more apparent over time, until eventually Emma is willing to do something morally gray (break the parabatai bonds) that in this set of circumstances Julian will not do, is compelling to me but the execution on Emma’s side falls short after LM because there’s not consistent enough exploration of her changing attitudes towards glorified vengeance and violence, more of an occasional check in. Part of this has to do with pacing/structure and although I love TDA and find the ensemble probably the most compelling overall of tsc series it is overstuffed with how many povs their are as much as tlh is. But also Julian clearly took priority to her at some point and his arc is more the focal point of books 2 & 3 despite all the povs, maybe if that was only the case for LoS it could work because then LM is more Emma focused LoS is more Jules focused but even though QoAAD is pretty all over the place Julian’s emotionless + grieving arc feels like it’s at the heart of the book, and I like that arc I mentioned I related to quite a few of the grief manifests as repressed/controlled emotion aspects so subjectively that clicks for me, but it does put Emma in the role of having to be more of a tether morally for most of the book and then there’s not enough of a transition between that and the moment where she goes to break the bonds. So yeah it’s partially cc prioritizing exploration of the male mc’s gray morality as the series goes on and being less interested in the female leads corresponding gray morality (and I know I would be far meaner about this if I didn’t like Julian as much as I clearly do) partly just other pacing and point of view distribution issues towards the back half of TDA that lead to this. Is how I see it. I do also think there’s something to critique about how while I adore blackstairs and enjoy that they flip some gender roles typical of cc’s earlier books couples, if when gender inverting the bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold x good-girl-going-bad trope the male version of the good girl with a dark heart thing gets to have a more centralized arc that is allowed to go further gray morality wise than female chars you’ve written in that vein (I would say that both Clary and Lucie count as this, Lucie in particular has a lot of parallels to Jules imo which is fun family tree wise ) and have the more centralized arc whereas while I do think Emma is a much better written character than Jace who she was clearly originally conceived as the female version of, she doesn’t have the centralized status Jace does narratively.

I do think both modern TSC arcs end up prioritizing Jace / Julian over Clary / Emma in terms of who’s character and dynamics the series eventually revolves around most (although again TDA being so ensemble changes this a little). I’m meaner about it with tmi because I don’t like Jace and Clace doesn’t work for me as a ship, and more just passively critical about it with tda because I do love Julian and Blackstairs really works for me as a ship, so I’m definitely a bit of a hypocrite there but I’ll still critique what’s relevant. I think both historical arcs do better with this I’ve spoken before about how Tessa is my Favorite tsc char as well as protag, and I think her arc and narrative is really really good and that she is central, maybe tied with Will towards the end but definitely her narrative isn’t given less importance than the guys and I’ve disagreed with takes on that to the contrary. Cordelia is an interesting case because again, the overstuffed nature of the cast means she often does not feel like the protagonist in her own story and I found that aspect worse in tlh than for Emma in tda. However I actually really don’t agree with takes that Cordelia’s story went badly because she was turned into ‘just a love interest/got lost in her romance plot’ because imo James is way less of a character in his own right than she is even in the last book where he has more agency than he did with the gracelet. Her emotions and struggles drive the plot of their romance much more than his do, and outside of it she does get to be a more proactive character in the Lilith paladin plot, dealing with her familial relationships etc. So while I did often feel like I would rather tlh focus on Cordelia herself more that really had nothing to do with James who I think was just not a priority for cc a lot of the time. Perhaps there is something to the cursed plots Will / James start out with and that device creating a need for cc to lean on the female protagonist’s characterization more (but also I’ve only read TLH once so maybe my opinion would change if I revisited I do want to say I don’t think I am a TLH or TMI expert).

[mhacentral]

14 Days of MHA - Day 14 (August 5th): Anything you want

So my thoughts on MHA..... yeah this series had its good points, but there was also a lot of garbage and the rushed ending really hit this into the ground. Honestly from the get go of this series, I was worried how Horikoshi would meld a Hero Story and a School Story together.... it COULD have worked, but Horikoshi is not a good writers, sorry but he isn't. I kept reading cause I was hopeful it could work but also because I fell in love with a few characters..... sadly everything ended in disappointment. Honestly I did this 14 days thing like a month ago EXCEPT for this one post, had I waited until now, I wouldn't have wasted my time.

Problems

ALL THREE major villains die and the three heroes trying to saved them failed.... wtf kind of ending is that. I don't care if you are someone like positivity nanny.... THIS IS BAD STORYTELLING TO HAVE YOUR MAIN HEROES FAIL. And one of them made NO FUCKING SENSE even in anime logic.... Bakugo lives after being struck in the heart, but Toga dies from Blood Loss

See the last chapter with Aizawa and Deku's talk about strictness with students, along with the kid Dai... The "NEW" ranking system is still shit as before, as Popularity and Strength are still all people are focused on, which of course isn't going to cause future problems...............

Shoji getting an award for being a good Heteromorph - this plotline got like maybe 2 chapters worth in the entire series.....

Deku gets a support item to help be a hero, but it takes 8 years..... like drama for nothing at the end

Then over the course of the series there were some MAJOR downfalls

Lack of planning - this is a major downfall of many shonen series due to the insane work schedule and forcing authors to write certain things in certain ways so its super popular, such as shortening the training camp arc, cause Japanese fans didn't want to see more villains, thus screwing up the traitor plotline

Introspection - the series did START off with this and it was well done, but then Horikoshi just stopped doing this and it really made character development take a huge hit

Character Dynamics - this goes in both good and bad, cause it did START OFF really well done, but after Kamino….. many interactions just felt short or didn't happen. One major interaction we didn't get in the main series was a scene with Shoto and Rei….. like how did we not ever get a scene with these two in the main series (there is one in the light novel)

Students were stuck in school and were only allowed out for the war, this caused a major issue, with not being able to explore a lot of themes

The middle of the story was meh and there were TOO MANY characters for Horikoshi too handle. We didn't didn't need three villain groups either

The Overhaul Arc - yep gets a special mention. This arc pulled focus away from the main cast, instead focusing on more new students and a new villain group. Even Oda mentioned in an interview about him having too many characters lol. Then to top this off, the arc was very rushed towards the end. Also the theme of the Yakuza felt old school and didnt fit with MHA, would have loved the MLA to be here at this time instead

Meta Liberation Army - Cmon don't tell me there wasn't supposed to be a MAJOR storyline after the Endeavor internship arc with focus on the MLA, cause 110% something was supposed to happen but got cut and War #1 happened and the MLA may as well never have existed just like the Yakuza... oh yeah next points:

Lets end with some of the good:

Characters and characterization- all very unique in personality and design and made you want to follow them

Character Dynamics - like relationships between characters. Absue, bullying, friendship, romance.... though this could have been done better with some more introspection and interactions between characters

The beginning arcs

Quirks and power system - each power is very unique and really compliments the character well

Superheroes and Villain society - we've had stories with these, but this is in present time where almost everyone has a power, so powers really arent as "special" as in another series and creates a new dynamic of sorts

[bigdvmnhero]

1, 15, and 25 for the fanfic ask meme. o/

When did you start writing? How?

Pretty sure my very first story was a handwritten LOZ fanfic 😆 I was a kid, i just finished playing wind waker, and I couldn't stop thinking about Aryll's POV in the story, which wasn't there. So I wrote it lmao. If not thaaaaat I'm pretty sure I started writing one piece fics around the same time too. Just a lot of introspective, purple prosey zoro angst with him thinking abt how much he loves his crew jshfwhhwhwhwwwhhw

15. Angst or fluff?

As a whole I think I'm definitely more drawn to angst, as both a writer and a reader, just because I think those fics have more interesting things to say? BUT my favorite stories do tend to be a lot of different things, all at the same time -- there's fluff, but there's also grief, and there's also joy, and there's also despair, and there's also just mundane things thrown in the mix. just like life <3

25. What projects are you currently working on?

😵‍💫 too much sdjfsfsdf. i've been focused on a lot of original fiction recently because Deadlines but in terms of fanfic.......... i've been editing chapter 3 of from scratch, which i've been putting off because it's a lot of uhhhhh Big Feelings, and writing character death rly takes a lot out of me;;;;; yall arent ready. not even me

i have a couple of smaller fics i wanna write for rise too -- off the top of my head, there's this fic abt future boy and his anger issues now that he's trying & failing to adjust to the current timeline that i drafted; b-team shenanigans fic set in the hidden city where they fuck around and find out (basically a what if Kitsune was in rise!); and then some more Day in the Life stuff set in the bad future. because i am me. still really obsessed with the concept of inheritances and generational cycles and f!leo and mikey being the only ones left, so YEAH

OH i also started watching tmnt 2012 and i think i'm gonna be annoying abt it for a while.. i wouldn't call it a draft but i do have a gdoc full of my Feelings for it, im enthralled by the way it explores the hamato family. so yes.... 2012 tmnt fic by bigdamnher0 coming soon to an ao3 near you hopefully!!!!! unfortunately!!!!!!

[south-park-meta]

why do you think cartman is abusing stan? they get along ok

I think Cartman's abusive towards everyone with Kyle and Butters getting the worst of it. But I have come around more to the way Cartman's abusive to Stan than when I made my initial analysis of their relationship. I said there that Cartman attacked things that mostly Stan's not bothered by, and some of that's true. Like, attacking him for caring about animals isn't something that affects him very often.

But with that said, there IS a core of attacking Stan for (lacking) masculinity and that actually does seem to be something he's anxious about...just not to Cartman directly. Cartman regularly calls him a pussy, gay, weak, seeming like a girl. The Cissy is probably the best example of the name-calling because it encompasses basically all of it

Do you know your girlfriend's going around tellin' everyone that you're gay?! [Stan looks around] Oh yeah! She's got the whole school believin' that she's attracted to girls, but she's dating you! So what does that make you, Stan?! A girl! STAN-AN'S A GIR-RL! You'd better curb your dog, Stan! You'd better curb your dog before people start ripping on you!

He tells Stan he's too weak to control his girlfriend, that he's gay, and that he's a girl all at once. Stan actually has a reaction (looking around, looking nervous, and he does end up talking to his dad and Principal Victoria. Cartman GOT a reaction, just not one he wanted).

The thing is, Stan's masculinity IS the thing he's most defensive of, and is his 'weak point' in relation to Kyle being Jewish, Kenny being poor, Butters being naive. He gets nervous about seeming gay and has to overcome it. He does get ripped on/ name-called/dismissed for not being manly enough or seeming gay by both his uncle, who he looks up to, and his dad, who he does (for most of the show) have a mutually loving relationship with. MOST of the 'Stan has a moment of character growth in the way of accepting who he is' comes down to him being okay with shirking stereotypical masculinity. Cartman is a master at honing in on weaknesses and he ABSOLUTELY has Stan's down.

So, then, why doesn't Cartman really tear the shit out of him more?

The thing is that Stan doesn't rise to the bait in angry outbursts. Kyle does. Kenny does, sometimes, too. Butters is specifically dismissed as a Kyle punching bag replacement because he doesn't. But Cartman also can't just casually abuse him constantly the way he does Butters, or put Stan's dick in his mouth while he sleeps, or give him a poop moustache, because Stan would up and leave the friendship, or actually physically beat him up. It has to be a verbal or emotional, non-physical attack. Stan doesn't get ripped on by Cartman more because he doesn't tend to take the bait in a way that would be fun and would let Cartman continue to feed off of it and really tear him to pieces.

So why doesn't Stan take the bait? Is he not upset by it?

The thing is he DOES get upset about this kind of thing. He just tends not to confront it directly. Instead he tends to want to compensate for the accusations. He tries to force Sparky to be straight. He doesn't play along at the wild west show because Wendy's there. He shoots and kills Skuzzlebutt. He becomes hypercritical of Gary and chews him out for Mormonism. And in each and every one of these cases, the best choice is consistently for him not to worry about seeming like anything except what he is. I think The Cissy is a step forward for him in, instead of outright denying who he is, he just sits down and questions it instead. Personally I think there hasn't been another comment on it since he came to the conclusion he is a boy (I know there're nb headcanons for him and I won't pick at it too much because I don't think it runs contrary to his character per se, I just don't agree with it. I see it as more of another masculinity introspection than really specifically a gender one), but I think it's a step forward for his character growth. He has multiple times gone through an arc of 'hide who you are, then realize who you are is really an asset', and sometimes that gets to a point of 'fuck what people think' but often it just kind of is what it is and he doesn't really do anything with it. He still cares about not being manly enough, and often the lesson of it is 'yeah you ARE kind of a pussy but it's fine, people will like you anyway, or being a pussy is beneficial to helping people'. While the recent seasons have made Stan more depressed and miserable, he's also FINALLY starting to get to a point of-- instead of worrying what makes other people like him, what makes him an asset to other people-- 'What makes me like myself? What makes me who I am?'

ANYWAY with all that said, the reason Cartman doesn't get much out of moments like this is that Stan often doesn't have a reaction, period. Sometimes it's because he probably literally doesn't care. He doesn't always value Cartman's opinion, and he does seem able to let a lot of comments go as just being bullshit. The other thing is that if it actually gets to the point of GETTING a reaction, it's not one that would be fun for Cartman. Literally the only thing that's ever come out of Stan reacting to the insecurity that Cartman harps on (whether because of Cartman or not) is that he either suppresses or questions it, and decides he likes himself more as he was to start with. Like he very consistently has improved himself through being criticized on this very point.

So does he have a point that Cartman can hurt him on?

Absolutely, and that point is Kyle.

Stan consistently has stronger, more hurt, more violent reactions to Cartman when it's Kyle that Cartman's going after. When Cartman makes a comment that Kyle's going to die, Stan tells him not to say things like that (even though people regularly die or talk about death around them). When Cartman's treating Kyle unfairly and Kyle can't do anything about it himself, Stan rights it. Even when Stan and Kyle aren't getting along, multiple seasons after Stan told Kyle that he was destroying the last thread of friendship they had left by siding with Cartman in the GOT arc, he still takes tit-for-tat revenge on Cartman in Band in China for Kyle's sake.

The way to get Kyle to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

The way to get Stan to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

I think it's noteworthy that when Cartman checks out on the 'broship' it's after Stan has checked out on Kyle, and pointedly stayed out of Kyle's fight with Cartman even after Kyle asked him to get involved with it. It's not worth keeping Stan tied in to the group because he's not coming to Kyle's defense, so there's no fun to be had in Stan hanging around. It's ALSO noteworthy that Kyle is equally blindsided by both of them.

But, okay, Cartman is nice to Stan sometimes. He's probably nicer to him than he is pretty much any other character. I think Cartman was playing a balancing act and lost.

He wants Stan and Kyle to be friends, because their friendship is important to get them both riled up. But he wants himself to be the most important to both of them, and that means he HAS to knock them down a peg in each other's opinions. They need to be friends with each other, good enough friends that Stan wants to defend Kyle when Cartman's mean to him and Kyle can't defend himself. It's no fun if Kyle's literally defenseless and Cartman gets jack for a reaction. But they have to be best friends with Cartman, because Cartman has a massive ego. This is a pretty damn hard line to walk.

But here are some nice things that Cartman's done for Stan:

-He came and hung out with him on Tegridy, and had solo activities bonding with him through board games and things like that.

-He helped Stan with the drug ring in Hummels and Heroin

-He saved the pangolin

The first two things are a clear spit in Kyle's face. Kyle is the core group who seems most disconnected from what's going on on Tegridy. Cartman is very clearly trying to take Kyle's place as Stan's go-to. Around(ish, keeping in mind the show's internal timeline) the same time, through the GOT arc, he is focusing his attention on bonding with Kyle.

Likewise, Kyle tells Stan outright he's not going to help with the Hummels problem in the second case. Cartman gets involved because Stan says he 'needs' him. He's willing to help because it puts him in direct competition with Kyle; he's helping Stan when Kyle told him to figure it out himself. He is weasling in on the best friend role.

In the last case, I think it's because he still wanted the 'broship' to work, and like I said I think he did up until Stan gave up on his friendship with Kyle. Stan's having a complete mental breakdown, which would cause issues and not be enjoyable on Cartman's end, so he'll give him a bone and let him maintain his sanity so Cartman can keep having fun pitting Stan and Kyle against each other while being besties with them both. He just flew too close to the sun and lost with it because Stan was teetering on the edge for the friendship since YGO and the next episode pushed him over.

In conclusion, Cartman's actions with Stan are 100% meant to manipulate him and emotionally destroy him. It just happens that Stan takes attacks on himself pretty internally and might even come out stronger for it. So for the most part if everything else is going fine, he's a tough nut to crack. The stuff that really fucks him up and tears him apart mentally is attacking Kyle, or attacking his friendship with Kyle.

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (2/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

For now, nothing to complain about! We got Nya, we got MAYA AND RAY, we got GILES PANTON BACK A LEGO SHOW!!! 😍😍😍

Of course now I'm definitely curious about what the story is really about, like I'm guessing Wojira will wake up at some point so... Great Devourer all over again maybe? 😅 Idk, for now I just wanna enjoy Nya having her moment 🥳

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

New alert for reader, during the Nexo Knights period I was and still am the hugest Clay fan. Now that his voice is in this season I might scream more than necessary... keep that in mind 😅

I love the humor in this, all random but still kinda clever 😂😂 Maybe I'm biased because I love Jay but still 🤷‍♀️

I really like the design of the marine world, very cool!! 🌊🌊🌊

I guess I'm not really seeing any big plot twist moment for now? Ninjago seasons have history of basing seasons on a "we need to prevent this event from happening but it will happen anyway", so I can see Wojira waking up no matter what 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if that will be shocking? Usually when this situation happen, someone makes a major sacrifice (Zane with the Overlord, sensei Garmaron with Chen, again sensei G with the Preeminent...). Maybe Maya? I DON'T WANT THAT 😭 But I am curious, everything is going nicely and I'm not sure what it will bring! 🤩 I'M EXCITED SO LET'S GO!!!

THE WRATH OF KALMAAR

So this is the name of Clay's new incarnation, neat! 👍

Okay really, for having a season lately the main character just can't help but be trapped by the villain: kinda Zane in the ICE Chapter, Jay in Prime Empire, Cole in Master of the Mountain... we can call it a tradition at this point 🤷‍♀️

Giant serpent, yadda yadda, I wonder if we're gonna address the Great Devourer at some point? Not mandatory, but the reference would be very cool 🤩

Clay's new incarnation is a prince I- *hyperventilates in awe*

Nya playing dumb lol, I don't know if that's personal experience as she used to get kidnapped a lot in the past or she just have too many idiots in her life 😂

ALSO ANOTHER BEST GIRL'S SMIRK

NYA YOU'RE TOO MUCH ILY ❤💙❤💙

Jay I love that you're so worried about Nya but maybe try NOT TO DIE? YOU'RE WITH LLOYD AND ZANE YET YOU'RE THE ONE GOING FOR THE SACRIFICE WTH?? 😱 But he's worried about his cool GF I kinda get it, also he didn't do it so good...

WHAT. THE. HECK.

WHO ARE YOU OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER YOU'RE ADORABLE I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU ABSOLUTE CUTIE 🤩🤩🤩

So Giles is doomed to voice LEGO characters with daddy issues 😂 That being not having a dad at all or having one that is... a good guy? Idk he seems chill with the surface at first glance, I wonder what's the story of this family

Maya reminds of my mom, she also mentions her work a lot and I study the same thing. But she doesn't want to brag, it gets annoying but she just wants to give me advice. It's nice to see actually 👍 Also Ray reference NEAT ❤❤❤

Wow, if any child-parent couple of this show was doomed at going semi Emperor's New Groove style, I would've bet on Ed and Jay honestly 😅

Oh HECK yes I knew that with my water girls things were BOUND to get cool 😎 ... yeah I know where the door is *goes away*

JAY NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO DIE STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! 😱😱😱

My GOSH that scared the crap out of me 😅 Jay honey we have too many deaths in this team, you're not helping... BUT YOU POWERED AN ENTIRE SHIP BECAUSE YOU LOVE NYA AND YOU DIDN'T DIE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BLUEBELL 💙💙💙

They were all so worried, I love this ninja family so freaking much 💜💜💜 Also better not tell this one to his GF 😂

And Bluebell?

Welcome to the "change eye color because of elemental power" team! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! 😍😍😍

Awww, Zane letting Jay be the captain, that was so cute of him 💕

Another great episode! Doing great so far but I still wonder if we got into the main story. Feels like there should be more, well we got time! Next one! 😊

LONG LIVE THE KING

Sooooo... that's one very telling title 😅 If we're going full Lion King on this one, I think I know where this is going 😵

Maya: Don't they know that metal taste terrible?!? (Again feels like Kai could say something like this 😂)

FINALLY NYA USING FREAKING WATER POWERS UNDER THE SEA!!! Thank you Maya for saying out loud what we were all thinking 👌👌

NINJA TO THE RESCUE!!!

Pff, okay, the fact that Kalmaar is all evil and cruel and then he gets startled like that, it's kind or adorable! 💕 Honestly Giles got such a deep voice, with Clay it was firm warm and reassuring, here we got plain devious and I ADORE it 😍😍😍

Maya come on don't doubt your daughter 😅 But I like her, and if she knew Nya they way we all do she wouldn't doubt that she could make it every time 😎

Yeah I was right, the king seems chill... oww I fear what's coming then 😳

Okay, so Kalmaar thinks that the world should go back to be lead by them like in the past, while the king just wants peace with the surface. And as we know, no drama no season so...

Yep, saw the death coming 😅

WHOA DID NOT SEE THAT LITTLE BLAME ACT COMING KALMAAR IS SO EVIL!!!... with a glorious voice but still (Rose focus on something that is not that godlike voice, you can do it 💪💪)

THE OLD ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH COMBO ATTACK!!! 🌊❄🌊❄

Awww Benthomaar is actually really cute, he's so worried about his father 😢 And he's adopted apparently? I wanna know the story!!! 🤩🤩

Yep, there's the reason why Zane got a mask even though he doesn't need one, it completes his attire 😂😂😂 My gosh how I love this nindroid ❄

Did... did Jay just say phooey? Dude Ducktales ended a while ago but I'm still not over it 😭

I said it once before I'll say it again, Ninjago is really REALLY good at making death scenes. Like, omg, I genuinely felt sorry for them 😢😢 I also really liked that the king didn't ask to be avenged, he still wanted peace and he asked his son to protect the ninja and he cried actual tears...

MY HEART WTH 😭😭😭 So we're adding this to the real tears moments of the show, with Jay crying over pie, Zane with the flashback of his dad, Jay crying over Nya and Lloyd thinking the ninja are gone... my world this show is angsty 🙂

Third startle for prince Kalmaar, I love the gag 😂 Oh wait, king Kalmaar 🤷‍♀️

Okay, we got a coup, the ninja running away because they got framed, Benthomaar is most likely going to join them or at least help them, I guess Wojira will come out at some point while... Kai, Ray and Cole are still playing videogames? 😅

THIS IS GETTING COOL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT AAAAHHH HECK YES THERE IS THE HYPE!!! 😍😍😍

Although I hope we get more stuff with Nya and Maya, that's what I like 🤩

ESCAPE FROM MERLOPIA

I'm good at English and I can follow most of it, but the fantasy names are tricky so I didn't get before that this was the name of the place 😅 It's nice, at least it's not another Atlantis 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LLOYD I SWEAR TO YOUR GRANDPA IF YOU TRY TO DIE AGAIN 😱

NYA YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE NONE OF YOU ARE OMG 😱😱

Ah, there he is, my new son Benthomaar 💙 He is so lovable already, I know nearly nothing about him and I like his character already a lot! He could relate with all of the ninja really, but maybe with Jay the most? They were both adopted after all 🤔🤔

*scribble note for a fanfic for later if this doesn't come up in the season*

Alright moving on 😗

I am so happy Nya gets a season, Kelly got a great emotional range that doesn't come out often in my opinion, but with a full introspection of water goddess we are all blessed by her voice acting 😍

Gotta say, admitting that Bentho didn't have to help them to answer the usual 'Can we trust him' question is pretty reasonable, like, better than other stupid answers 😅

Also don't mind me

Just screenshotting by ship 💙❤💙❤

Somehow lately we are letting Jay do the talking and I both hate and LOVE the fact 😂😂 Plain Bluebell nonsense, heck yes that's my jam👌👌

MAYA IS SO COOL OMG 🤩🤩

I literally can't not laugh at the startle gag with Kalmaar 😂

LLOYD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SELF SACRIFICING!! PLEASE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SEASON!! 😱😱😱😱

Aww Jay is still the Captain, nice! Wonder if it's giving him Skybound flashbacks... I hope not considering all he went through that time, poor Sparky 😅😅

ARE THOSE LITTLE WU ROCKETS?? 🤯

Can we skip a season and hang out with Pixal one time? I really wanna know how she organizes her free time to create these things 😍😍😍

THANK YOU LLOYD FOR NOT DYING ONCE AGAIN, MUCH APPRECIATED!!! 💚💚💚 My green bean needs a vacation... they all do 😅

THEY ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL 💙🌊💙🌊

Alright, back to the island hoping Kalmaar will not track us and follow us so he can get to the place and discover the amulet 🙂

Are we not calling the others? I miss my flame babe and Rocky ❤🖤❤🖤 Also RAY WATCHA DOIN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

THE TALE OF BENTHOMAAR

Wait what? Shark boy backstory? SHARK BOY BACKSTORY?!? 👀👀👀

Wow, I see that Kalmaar didn't change a thing growing up, still the same gonna-be-a-villain 😂 Of course his voice got a lot deeper and cool and okay you know I love his voice moving on

I find it kinda funny that Kalmaar is so focused on royal blood and superiority, while Clay was basically a farm boy who worked his way up. Giles knows how to get the character no matter what 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

BABY BENTHOMAAR AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

The king seems like such a good pers- fish- creature 😅 Now I'm double sad that he died, my world, why do I always care so fast, it's not healthy in this show where everyone could die 😰😰

I'M SORRY IS THAT KAI'S HAIR??? 😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CAN'T LOOK AWAY WTH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

Literally every frame of Benthomaar makes me love him even more 😢

Interesting that we got an academic villain, he kinda reminds me of Clouse in a way, maybe even Harumi since she studied her way to her plan as well? I like that we got a bit of personality too!

Using your little bro for your own purpose... it's very evil but kinda also brotherly like 😂

Benthomaar really gives me that very PRECIOUS vibe, kinda the perfect son but also a naive and unaware BABY 💙

LEGO HUG 🤩🤩 Not exactly reciprocated but still 😅

Ooohhh, so this is how he found the temple! I like this, it shows that Bentho is most likely physically stronger than Kalmaar, while evil brother is focused on brain and studies. They are planned differently, I like it! 😚😚

Ouch, peer pressure... sibling pressure? Eh you get what I mean 😂

POOR BENTHO 😭😭😭 YOU GOT THE NINJA NOW DON'T WORRY WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE YOU PRECIOUS SHARK BABY!! 🦈🦈🦈

Bentho: will I really fit in with you guys? Do you really understand how I feel?

Lloyd: Jay was adopted, Nya's parents were gone most of her life, Zane lost his father while mine turned evil

Bentho(tearing up): yeah that can work

Okaaaaayyyyy, I like that we got a bit of backstory for Bentho too! We didn't get much for Vanya in Master of the Mountain, which is the only thing I was sad about (very little detail, AMAZING season 🖤🖤🖤), nice to see it here!!

But I really want more Nya and Maya interactions, I hope we'll soon get to them again!! 😍😍😍

Alright, getting somewhere here! I'm very curious about what's next 🤩🤩

[catdadeddie]

I’m so happy for you, Nova‼️ I really am 🥺 can I request a fic, for buddie. I don’t really have a prompt besides anything this quote inspires. “You made falling in love with you easy that I never realized I was falling.”

Thank you, Sunny!! I adore this line and I hope you like the fic!!

The Love We Hold - 1.7k 

Feelings realization, fluff and angst, love confessions, some character introspection. - minor mention of events from season 4

(read on ao3) - link to celebration event 

Looking back, Eddie should’ve known. He shouldn’t be surprised by the realization that he’s in love with Buck, yet here he is, watching Buck sit on Chimney’s couch with Christopher as he helps him hold Maddie and Chimney’s newborn, Charlotte. Here he is wondering how Christopher would be as a big brother and how Buck would be as a dad. It all rings in his mind in the tone of “Oh” as he realizes the meaning to that thought. He looks at two of his favorite people in the world and everything he hasn’t paid attention to over the years hits him. He loves Buck.

“He’s a natural,” Maddie whispers to him, shaking him from the sudden shift in his world. He’s not even sure which one she’s referring to and that screams to him too. Too much is moving through his brain right now, but it all equates to love. He glances at Maddie where she anxiously is watching next to him. This is the first time he’s seen her in weeks and she seems to be taking motherhood like most new moms. There’s bags under her eyes and her movements are slow and sleepy, even resting a hand on the back of the living room chair for support, but the grin on her face as she watches Chim return from the bathroom and walks over to the couch. He stands behind it and leans over Christopher to watch as the newborn starts falling asleep with Buck’s finger in her little grasp.

“Yeah, he is.” Eddie answers as he subconsciously stares for a minute. He shakes himself from it though and turns his attention to Maddie. “How’s it been going? I remember the first week home with Christopher. I swear Shannon and I didn’t sleep at all.”

“If I felt okay leaving her with anyone right now, I’d have you and Buck babysit while I took a nap,” she answers with a soft smile.

“You totally could,” Eddie teases knowing the new mother wouldn’t dare leave her newborn with anyone besides Chimney and that would be a stretch.

“Don’t tempt me,” she grins before leaving him to his thoughts as she joins the group. Eddie debates joining them. Buck is looking up at Maddie now with a fond look that someone would relate to a golden retriever, as she pulls one of the chairs to be as close to Christopher as possible. Buck laughs softly as Christopher and Maddie start talking about the baby. Chimney and Buck add in every once in a while. It makes Eddie feel like an outsider looking in and that’s what makes him finally decide to walk over and take the seat next to Buck, who turns to him and grins as he whispers about how Christopher seems to like the baby.

Eddie just nods and gives a soft smile as he watches Christopher cradle the baby. His heart melts at Christopher, so focused on her. He’s keeping his arm against the arm of the couch so he can keep supporting the head. He does really seem to like it all and Eddie’s not really sure what to do with that information as well. He feels Buck’s elbow push into his ribs making him shake his head and refocus. He looks up at Buck, whose eyebrows are pulled together in a show of concern. Eddie sighs and goes to find something to express why he’s acting this way, but he’s saved by Chimney calling his name.

“Eddie! You wanna take your turn?” He asks as Maddie eases Charlotte out of Christopher’s arms.

“I’d love to,” he grins as he gets handed the newborn. She’s unbelievably light in his arms as he adjusts her to sit more comfortably in his arms. He can’t help but notice that her little nose looks just like Maddie’s and the so-brown-they’re-black eyes staring up at him are almost identical to Chimney’s. 

“She’s beautiful. Happy and healthy. You both are doing great,” he whispers, looking up at where Chimney has moved to stand behind Maddie’s chair. His hand on her shoulder as they both gaze lovingly at their daughter. Maddie nods and says a thank you as tears fill her eyes.

It’s not long before Eddie decides to leave and give the couple some more time alone with their newest source of happiness. 

---

Eddie hasn’t left his spot on the couch since Christopher went to bed. He’s been staring aimlessly at the tv with no recollection of what’s been on it as his mind is just full of Buck. Buck, who has become a staple in his and Christopher’s lives. Buck, who has always been there for Christopher. Buck, who is there for Eddie. Buck, who he loves.

All the game nights, trips together, the three of them just having fun echoes through Eddie’s mind. If there’s anyone out there that should join him and Christopher, it’s Buck and in reality, he’s already joined them. He’s already linked to all that they are. He’s right there with them and the thought scares Eddie in all honesty. Buck got this close to them without Eddie even being aware.

His thoughts get interrupted again with the flash of headlights through the window in his living room. He glances up to see Buck’s Jeep pulling into the spot behind his truck. Eddie watches as he turns off the car and before deciding to stand up. He sighs as he rubs his hands against his jeans before standing up to see why Buck’s here at 10 o’clock at night. He’s leaning against the wall on the outskirts of his entryway when the sound of keys jingling plays on the other side of the door. He debates just going and opening it but he needs the couple seconds it takes Buck to twist the key and push open the door to compose himself.

When Buck does step through the door, he jumps at the sight of Eddie. “Eddie! What the fuck are you doing? You scared the shit out of me.” He scolds as he tries to catch his breath while closing the door.

“Says the one who just let himself into my house this late at night,” Eddie shrugs, making Buck roll his eyes and mumble a “Touché.”

“I just wanted to check on you. You seemed… distant at Maddie and Chimney’s,” Buck adds with his own shrug after stuffing his hands in his pockets. Eddie lets his eyes flicker across Buck’s face in the dark room. He has this fleeting concern that screams of course he noticed. How couldn’t he notice how Eddie was acting. Maybe this was easier when Eddie just didn’t know.

“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing to be worried about,” Eddie tries reassuring him while escaping the topic. Buck seems to pick up on his attempt at running away from this and just sighs before teasing Eddie in a way that loosens the tension between them. “That’s an awfully dangerous thing for you to be doing, Eds.”

Eddie lets out a breathy laugh before grinning at his best friend. His best friend. If that isn’t a reason enough to keep this to himself, Eddie’s never had a friend like Buck and he isn’t ready to jeopardize that over feelings he didn’t know he had until 5 hours ago.

“Eddie, you’re doing it. Again,” Buck says, stepping closer to him. He’s right in front of Eddie before Eddie has anytime to process what’s going on. 

“I thought we were working on communication,” Buck quips with a bit of a teasing tone. “We’ve been doing great at talking out our issues. What’s so bad that you’re hiding this?”

Eddie feels the deep swallow that goes through his throat as he has to look up at Buck due to the close proximity. “What’s going on, Eddie?” He basically begs, making Eddie’s heart tug and before he even knows what’s happened the words escape his mouth.

“I love you.”

Both of them still as they process what Eddie just said. Eddie tries studying Buck’s face for some kind of reaction and when nothing but surprise is shown back to him, he just closes his eyes and wills it all to go away. He admits it's cliché but his heart is pounding and he just wants to open his eyes and this all has been a dream.

“I’m sorry,” He chokes out in a raspy whisper as he tries to side step away from Buck. His efforts are stopped by Buck’s hand grabbing his wrist and his voice following Eddie’s in the silence. “Why are you sorry?”

Eddie opens his eyes and blinks, stunned at the man in front of him. Buck’s face is only inches from his with a furrowed brow. Eddie looks down at where Buck’s hand is still on his wrist as he responds. “I’m sorry that I said that.”

“Did you mean it?” Buck asks quietly as his grip tightens before letting go completely. His demeanor has shrunk and he’s inching a step back and Eddie’s realized a whole other side of this coming out. Maybe Buck loves him too.

“Of course, I do,” He adds as softly as his nerves let him. It's too late to go back so he’s just gonna try to see where this goes as he reaches out for Buck’s hand. Buck meets his eyes again with a hopeful look tied into his features. A soft grin spread across his face.

“You do? You love me?” Buck echoes in insecurity that Eddie hates to see. It’s been something he knows Buck’s been working on, especially since his parent’s visit, but it's still something he sees haunt Buck.

“Buck, you made falling in love with you easy that I never realized I was falling,” Eddie promises, as he hopes Buck recognizes the value and truth to the words. He watches as Buck’s grin grows and Eddie can‘t help but pull Buck forward and into his arms. He feels Buck’s arms wrap tightly around him as something wet starts pooling on his shoulder. Eddie squeezes him before pulling back enough to see his face.

“They’re happy tears,” Buck laughs as Eddie reaches up and wipes under his eyes. “I promise.”

Eddie nods and whispers a “I know,” before leaning up the little bit of distance to press his lips to Buck’s. The kiss is far from perfect with Buck’s tears leaving a salty taste to the mess and they’re more focused on the connection and feeling of just being together like this than anything else. When they do part, Buck lets his forehead rest against Eddie’s. Eddie just reaches out to hold him as Buck whispers “I love you, too,” between them.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

maybe an unpopular opinion, but the more I think about it, the more I continue to believe that TW4 should’ve not brought Romana back (or at least not brought her back so easily)

most of the issues with that boxset are that the stories feel disjointed and the characters have no time to reconvene after the events of the previous boxsets. nothing ties them all back together. not to mention that the emotional buildup and character development surrounding Unity flies completely out the window. which actually stinks a lot, because Unity was a good story, and I would’ve loved to see the entire series move forward revolving around the axis it established. instead, it feels like cheap emotional manipulation with little to no pay-off--in the end, they just repeated the “Romana and Leela aren’t getting along oh no :(” directly followed by “and now they’re back together and everything is fine :)” thing the series has done at least three times by now, and nothing new happened with it.

but what if Romana had really been lost to them and now they were all rallying back together in her absence? that would’ve been the perfect way to reunite what’s left of the og Gally Gang (Leela and Narvin +/- Brax) and move them forward as a team, as they struggle to find their identity without Romana to guide them, and make their final attack on Gallifrey in her name.

on this altered premise, Beyond could’ve been written as a primarily Brax-centric story, instead of trying to find purchase on a shifting middle ground between focusing on him, Romana, and their relationship, without fully committing to any one of those things (just think how interesting it could’ve been if there had been two versions of Brax from the beginning, representing the different aspects of the character, getting to the heart of why he’s there and what his true motives in the Time War are? or even a more abstract construct such as the ones the Doctor faces in Zagreus, forcing him to confront his own feelings and fears and motivations? the story could’ve still ultimately ended in the same way if the writers had chosen, but then at least Brax’s motivations would’ve been a little more clear. maybe using the Parallax to destroy the Daleks would be the direct means to bring Romana back? or maybe not, maybe it’s still ultimately about Brax’s god complex and his desire to be the saviour of the universe by ending the Time War [an explanation that still rankles me, because Brax has never been characterized that way in Gallifrey before. but i digress.] regardless, instead of muddling together a few different interpretations of the character and never quite making the whole point of the story clear, we would’ve had a strong, introspective, Brax-centric story that explores why he does the things he does in a interesting, nuanced way)

and with these changes in place, Homecoming would’ve been so much more powerful as a story in which Leela and Narvin, with or without the addition of Brax, return to Gallifrey to commemorate Romana with their final stand!! all the stuff with Livia and Mantus could’ve still happened without it making the episode feel so crowded (it still could’ve been toned down a bit, or shuffled around to play out in the background of the other stories so Homecoming could’ve focused more on the Main Gang, but hey, even if not, it wouldn’t have been nearly as distracting as it ended up being in the version we got). ultimately, there would’ve been a much more powerful emotional arc as the rest of the main gang wrestle with the loss of Romana. TW3 had a lot to do with the themes of allowing people to make their own choices, free will, and individual agency--TW4 would’ve carried that forward by exploring how those who are left behind continue to go on while honoring those choices. it would’ve been a really powerful theme, I think, and moved these characters into new places they haven’t been yet.

and obviously, with Romana’s ending left exactly where it was at the end of Unity, there’s nothing saying she couldn’t have survived. she would’ve been in the perfect place to do literally anything the writers wanted with her (the exact same spot the writers have left Narvin in, actually), and having her out of the picture would’ve forced the other characters into new territory and formed a more cohesive theme throughout the boxset.

of course, with these changes we also wouldn’t have gotten some of the really great parallels at the end of Homecoming that I’m still in love with (in a way that means I’m increasingly heartbroken, disturbed, and horrified the more I consider them). we wouldn’t have gotten those incredible moments with Leela and Romana on the Dalek ship, either, which I have to admit, I’d be really sad to lose (you would never give up your soul; you are far too enamored of yourself/are you calling me arrogant?/you have good reason. I would never give up your soul either. still not over that, probably never will be)

but we also wouldn’t have Romana’s weirdly OOC reaction to Brax’s “death”(?) and causal mentioning of it throughout Homecoming in a way that really doesn’t sit well with me, and maybe just better use of Brax in the story overall. hopefully we would’ve had more in-depth interactions between Leela and Narvin (and specifically a better farewell scene between them + Romana, because really, what was that????), and even Livia hopefully would’ve gotten a better end to her arc than randomly being shot by a Dalek and supposedly dying because she’s... out... of regenerations... I think??

so yeah. that’s my take. Romana’s exit in Unity and the build up to it throughout TW3 was so good that the writers should’ve left her there for now, and centered TW4 around the concept of the rest of the gang trying to move forward without her.

I’m horrible at knowing how to end stuff so instead I’ll just *Katniss bow* and leave you all with these thoughts while I return to studying. (and please feel free to argue with me about these if you want!!! I’ve love to hear if other people have different opinions on how Romana should’ve been used in TW4, or if you think the way they handled her was fine as it is and the problems with TW4 are elsewhere!!)

[norgestan]

norandro, eva/nora, amiris 👀❣️

NORANDRO:

i mean, starting off pretty strong with my favorite eskam couple. oh god. THEM. as someone who cannot stomach season 2 and also skipped william's clip and william's clip only when season 4 of skam came to an end... i will ALWAYS love what eskam did for this couple. i think i explain it pretty well on my season 3 review, but to sum up those thoughts: i think this is what noorhelm was truly supposed to be, they're both pretty flawed characters with great arcs who make their get-together super interesting and organic, alejandro is my baby and the most developed william and i'll die on this hill, etc.

especially i think that norandro, for a ship that got way less screentime that all their other counterparts, is by FAR the most developed couple in all of them and up there in eskam too, and although they weren't the focus of most of the show, it's clear as day that the writers really tried to tell a compelling story with these two - and they succeeded. it's shocking to me that eskam actually got to link the "everyone is fighting a battle" motto that has become a meme for how poorly incorporated it is on the skamverse, as alejandro effectively behaved around that motto: during season 3 and onwards, which is where i believe he's fully reformed as a character and love interest, he never hurts nora - nor anyone - in any way. he struggles to tell nora how he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to hurt her, and in the miscommunication fest that their first clip of s3 is, i've always LOVED that nora calls alejandro a "fuckboy" still, and he's clearly annoyed by this, but doesn't bite back. he's always so mindful of her feelings even though he's struggling himself, BECAUSE he understands that his suffering is not the center of the world! because treating people with kindness is a strength in itself! and it continues like that for the rest of the season. like, at his most petty, he just sends a text to nora calling her a "fuckboy", which is honestly hilarious. he deals with a lot of jealousy because of nora's new relationship, yet he values her friendship so much that he never snaps at her, he never lets it show when he's talking to her, and he's never passive-aggressive about it - you can tell that he's so genuinely glad that they're still friends after all. god, the clip where he realizes that miquel is a shit boyfriend while he's talking to nora... imagine the things any other william would've said there. imagine the ways alejandro could've been petty or overprotective and fuck everything up. instead, he recognizes nora needs space and even though it hurts to be away from her, he does it because he understands it's what she needs - and his own feelings and entitlement (that he previously showed, too!) aren't the most important thing. it's beautiful. UGH. what a great character eskam crafted, there.

i like them well enough in s4, too. i think, for what they had to work with, they took them in a good direction and their happy ending feels deserved. it's just that... personally, i wish there was more introspection of nora's aftermath in s3, which is also one of my complaints with season 3 - and where characters like emma could've been SO good. although i understand the intentions, a lot of nora's internal turmoil regarding her abusive relationship with miquel are only tied to her desire to be with alejandro. it's frustrating that it became so boy-focused when the girl squad was the center of the emotional climax of nora's season. to me, the solution is still in giving the pov's to the girl squad and not... random characters lol, but oh well. i think eskam did good there and i still love this couple the most!!! i just wish there was an universe where their story doesn't have to be wrapped up in one season and we can get actual glimpses of a beautiful slow burn where they can finally get together and make their relationship work - and this is where the fanfic part comes in, i guess! as someone who loves the couple, i liked seeing them lovey-dovey in the background of s4, but also i wouldn't have been too mad if they held off from making them completely canon and only hinted their status as endgame, kinda how they did with eva and jorge. oh, and speaking of eva, i guess...

NOREVA:

i guess, the main thing with them is that i love norandro so much that i can't really see nora with any other love interest??????? now, platonically. UGH. 12/10. anyone who's seen season 3 should know and i shouldn't even have to explain it tbh. i love the focus that is put on their friendship and how emotionally charged it is when it comes to miquel and the aftermath of all that. like, a similar thing is done with norandro - because at that point, nora and alejandro were exclusively friends, but it becomes even more relevant when it's about eva. eva who, you know, was in a toxic relationship herself. i love that she herself brings up her relationship with jorge when she's talking about miquel, and how wary she is of everything that happening. the fact that she's the first one to sense it feels so right!!! i love that eskam really made them close and gave them the window scene, which is both so powerful on its message and a true love letter to female friendships.

i think eva is a really underrated eskam character as it is, like... people really don't understand how great of a character she is and how much she's grown. they are quick to call her a boring, ooc party girl once s2 rolls around, like eskam didn't spend TIME making eva herself declare that hooking up with cristian (and cristian ONLY!) was something she did out of fun and she was decided to stop as soon as it stopped being fun for her. moreover, eva is such a perceptive person: she's been that way since s1 and it has only carried across for the entirety of the show since then. and when pairing two really good characters together, like eva and nora, you really can't go wrong. their friendship brings great things out of both of them and it goes through its own arc during nora's season, whereas other seasons either dump eva as noora's bff midway through or just make them really close to introduce character drama but don't really do anything to their dynamic as it is.

romantically... sigh. i'm sorry LOL as much as i love girls kissing and wlw romance done right... i don't see potential for this relationship outside their platonic dynamic. which is, btw, incredibly strong and beautiful. i'm super contented with how eskam handled their friendship and therefore i wouldn't want anything else from them, and it's not like nooreva where the chemistry was THERE. however! i'm always open to see people's interpretations of what romantic noreva could be. wasn't it you who wrote that beautiful fic of nora realizing she's bi and falling for eva after season 3? because now THAT'S the shit i'm looking for. i think there's a lot of potential there which i'd like to see explored in fic, but other than that, i love their relationship how it is and i've never felt a desire to see them as each other romantic interests.

AMIRIS:

first things first: why did eskam NEVER confirm cris having an embarrassing, sweet, confusing childhood crush on amira? i mean, it's my headcanon that she'll later realize it and she'll jolt awake and think "holy FUCK" but like... it's a thing that isaks are into their jonases. why didn't it happen here :(((((

being honest, childhood friends to lovers has never been my thing? a simple friends to lovers doesn't do it for me: i like my relationships rocky, with lots of character moments and whose survival and success depend only on the people involved making efforts to change and do better. if you've seen s4... yeah, that's not really the case. it's just disappointing because damn, amiris is the realest thing indeed, but also... what case are the writers doing for them? because it was only irene and hajar doing the intense gazing and bringing all the chemistry home. s4 cris is a mess and a half, and while i like the idea of the bench scene featuring both of them, and being more about cris reminding amira the reasons she's made it this far instead of lecturing her about sucking it up better... the result is still lackluster. there are SO many issues on their friendship that were introduced and then dropped, and it's really nice that cris finally is there to comfort amira when shit goes down, it truly is! but what else is there? it's just a small part of s4 being a bunch of missed potential. they could've REALLY done something great with their relationship and bring back and close cris' development in the show, but we only got... well, nothing. back to 0. amira has to live with those problems, now. things like that really make it seem like once amira broadens her horizons, she won't really go back to her friendship with the girls, and cris will be a lingering wound of the past. oh well.

ehem. romantically!!!!!!! as i said, cris was totally crushing on amira at some point. like... canon really makes a point at making cris' brother amira's love interest, where dani has nothing to offer to amira than cris hasn't done yet. iftar on a rooftop? ha, loser, cris did it first. admiring her passion and her faith? cris does it arguably way better than dani. longtime pining? dude. go home. okay, i'll cut dani soto some slack since it's not about him lol. point is, if amira was charmed by all of those things, then what tells me that the option of her and cris being a thing is off the table? at the end of the day, they're indeed a relationship that needs a lot of work and patience to last. the 500k slow burn is writing itself, really.

(regardless of amiris' future, i still think irene and hajar have to do a cute romcom romance at some point. their chemistry is off the charts.)

[idabbleincrazy]

Lineage ~ A Missing Scenes Ficlet

Fandom: Angel (Buffyverse)

Rating: T

Pairing: Spangel

Characters: Spike, Angel, Mentioned: Wes, Fred, Dru, Angelus, William, Anne Pratt

Word Count: 1425

Warnings: Angst with a hopeful ending, Mutual pining (kinda), Introspection, Sire/Childe dynamics, Vampire Dynamics/Vampire Family Dynamics, Parental Issues All Around, Missing Scene Fic, 5x07: Lineage, past Spangelus

Summary: Spike muses on his failed attempt at comforting Wes, and finds some comfort of his own from Angel.

A/N: Minor warning of Spike reflecting on his mother's demon and the things she said before he staked her, but not detailed. I really had to think long and hard on what scene i wanted to expand on for this one given that it was a Wesley-based episode with only slightly more interaction between Spike and Angel than the last. Think I did pretty good at bridging the gap to help ease the way into the happenings of Destiny.

Feedback is golden!!!!!

Spike watched Wesley beat a dejected path back to his office, a pang of sympathy aching in his silent chest for the ex-Watcher. His wording may have been off-putting, but he did understand quite well how Wes would have felt for those scant few seconds when he thought he’d killed his father. After all, unlike most vampires, he hadn’t wanted to kill his mother. He’d tried to save her, and had been gut-wrenched when the demon in her turned out to be so wretchedly vile. He had only wanted to give her her health back, show her the kindness a loving mother deserved, only for it all to be thrown back in his face, for the truth of his mother’s long-hidden hatred of him to be revealed once the soul no longer kept her from speaking it. 

Was this why the majority of other vampires killed their parents, rather than share the gift their Sires bestowed upon them? Did their lack of a soul finally pull the wool away from their eyes, finally allowing them to see how their fathers had tried to mold them in their image with no thought to what they might want, how their mothers would clutch them to their breast but only to keep them under their thumb, the only way to feel as though they had some semblance of control over anything in their pre-planned lives? Had they finally seen the truth that their parents only loved them so long as they remained in line, kept their heads down and did as told? Less and less fledges bothered to seek out their parents for their first kill these days, but Spike had put it down to the fact that Sires barely bothered to stick around long enough to see them fight their way from the dirt, let alone order them to kill off their family. 

He had once figured it was a rite of passage, from one life to the next; scratch out your old family to begin again with your new. Because that’s what your Sire was, along with anyone else of the shared bloodline, family. Any other Childer they still kept with them and their own Sires, if they had stuck around, were family. Near pack-like in their devotion, and with similar pecking orders, each Clan had a duty to their blood, and so, he had always figured each fledge had been told to rid themselves of any mortal ties as a show of dedication to their new life, an act of fealty. Maybe he’d been wrong, maybe he was just one of the few who had been fooled into thinking they had actually been loved by their parent. Drusilla had never thought to order him to kill his mother, had never explained the deeper meaning of it. And by the time he had met Angelus, the mishap had already fled his mind, tucked away as just another tragic loss, and he never thought to ask.

Spike sighed, shaking himself from his thoughts. Any more brooding, and he’d start turning into Angel. Lord knew he did enough of that for the both of them. 

Spike decided it was worth a check-in with his Grandsire; knowing him, he had probably done the same thing he had in an awkward attempt to comfort Wesley, calling forth the remembrance of killing his own father once he had risen from the grave. At least the pillock was talking to him again, instead of turning him away with a wordless look or grunt, or ignoring his presence all-together. He still couldn’t quite figure out the whole cold-shoulder stint, and was anxious to keep it from happening again. He was after all, family. The only one left who he could still turn to. Family had always meant too much to William for his own good, and Spike was just the same, no matter the years between the two lives. Angelus had treated him like family, much as any vampire could, and that bond still smouldered there, regardless of all the pain and anger of their past. Too deep to smother even with a pair of souls between them. Odd, that even as a not-quite-a-ghost, those feelings lingered, bolstered even, by this new level of loneliness that came with his intangibility. 

He floated through the closed door of Angel’s office, and as expected, found him staring out the window, lost in thought. 

“Can feel you brooding from all the way out in the lobby, mate. Take it you tried to comfort Percy too, eh?”

“Yeah,” Angel spoke softly, not turning from the view as Spike sidled up alongside him. “Don’t think it worked very well. Killing your father in a hatred-fueled bloodlust isn’t exactly the same as thinking you killed your father to protect someone you care about.”

“Guess not. Don’t worry, Peaches. You’re not the only one with egg on ‘is face. Told him ‘bout me mum. There’s a bit of info he probably never got from all those books at the Academy.”

Angel huffed a quiet laugh, turning to look over at Spike. There was an odd sadness in his eyes as he regarded his insubstantial Childe. Spike felt almost as though he were standing in another ghost’s cold-spot as his Grandsire considered him, a shiver running down his spine. 

“You always were more human than demon, weren’t you William?” Angel ignored the look Spike gave him at the use of his old name. “You tried to save your mother, instead. I’m sorry that didn’t work out for you the way you had hoped.”

“Nah, worked out for the better, in the end, didn’t it? Angelus woulda had a field day takin’ the mickey out of me for it, straight away. A fledge with mummy issues. Do wish the demon in her hadn’t shown itself to be quite so crass though. Took a while to shake that off.”

Angel frowned, knowing all too well what Angelus would’ve done. How he would have tormented the boy to no end, used his mother to bring him to heel, only to stake her right in front of him. He found himself wishing yet again that he could reach out and actually touch Spike, the demon in him wanting to provide some paltry comfort to the melancholy Childe beside him. 

“There’s a reason why fledges aren’t meant to Sire anyone. Whelps, either. Had Dru been thinking clearly, she would have thought to forbid it. The turn, it doesn’t work out right if the Sire isn’t at least close to master status. I’ve heard tales of it going even worse than your attempt. What your mother became, wasn’t her. A demon that unfit would have taken even the purest love and twisted it.” 

Spike was grateful he couldn’t cry in this ghostly form, his eyes stinging with the unshed tears. He focused his thoughts and reached out to lay his hand over Angel’s where it rested against the back of the couch, his lips curling up into a sad smile. 

“Thanks, Grandda. Not sure how much I really believe that, but thanks all the same. Reckon it provided me more comfort than either of us gave Head Boy.” Angel huffed again and looked down at their hands. Spike gave his fingers a squeeze, his soul lifting a bit as he saw Angel register the feeling with a flutter of his eyelids. “Saw Brain Girl headed over to ‘is office, maybe she’ll do a better job at it than us, yeah?”

“Hmm, hopefully. Fred’s usually pretty good with that stuff.”

Spike pulled his hand away and made to leave, not wanting to wear out his welcome so soon as he’d regained it. 

“Guess I’ll be off then, let you get back to your musin’.”

“Spike.” Spike paused mid-turn, his head tilted in confusion. Angel rolled his eyes to diffuse his own nerves. He spent weeks keeping his Childe at a distance and figured they could both do with a bit more of each other’s company; he knew how much the boy hated being alone so much. “You can stay, really. I can brood just as easily with you here.”

Spike scoffed and returned to his spot, this time his hand merely resting on the couch next to Angel’s, unwilling to push his luck. He may not quite be walking on eggshells with his Grandsire, but he could feel how fragile their companionship still was. He could make do with the silence for now if it meant they were taking a step closer to what they were before.

“Ta.”

~~~~~

@thewhiterabbit42​ @prose-for-hire​  

[taiblogcomics]

A Day in the Life of the Ravagers

Hey there, arachnophobes. Another Ravagers review for you, then? We'll be about halfway through the series at this point! Not taking very long at all, is it~?

Here's the cover:

Boy, this one's busy. Like, Superboy's front and center, but you can't focus on him. You can't focus on anything. Why is Beast Boy a dragon? Is that a thing he can do? Why is Fairchild up there in the window hanging out with Niles Caulder instead of practising with her team? Why do they keep unzipping Terra's top? Why are they so insistant on Tron lines that they've implanted them on Ridge's skin? I also never understood the practicality of Danger Rooms like this. What's the use of smashing up your own tech? Who rebuilds it all?

The comic starts similarly to the cover, but addresses several of my complaints. First, Fairchild is fighting with her team. Second, Ridge has his own Tron bodysuit like the others. Third, Niles' Danger Room appears to be done with holograms rather than robots. They're fighting dinosaur holograms, which is probably cooler than robots. Niles tells them that unlike NOWHERE, he has an open exit policy. They're free to leave if they wish. He then admits to an off-screen person, he has no idea what he'll do if they actually take that option.

Naturally, Beast Boy decides to act out every kid's fantasy, and turns into a Triceratops to fight the T. rexes. As they fight, Niles narrates all their powers to his unseen companion (and also as a benefit to the audience). Even Thunder is up and around, which is pretty good considering he was on death's door last issue. They defeat the dinosaurs, and Niles tries to have them do it again. Fairchild puts her foot down, though, turning off the simulation and taking the team out for lunch or something. Niles sighs, disappointed with his lack of control, and signs off with his mystery guest. The guest turns out to be Tim Drake, communicating by hologram. Tim tells Niles that if they get out of control, the Titans will back him up.

Out and about, Fairchild gives the gang each some money and a cellphone and just tells them to enjoy themselves. There's also a handwave of Niles using some tech to disguise them, so that's how BB and Ridge can just casually go about town. Ridge is fortunately not wearing a polo shirt today, just a white T-shirt. But he is wearing a cowboy hat, which is really incongruous with the very British idioms he keeps using. "I look like the dog's breakfast! If I ever get my hands on the prats what did this to me--" I think that'll make him stand out more than being Humongosaur's miniature cousin~

Before they can settle and unwind too much, Niles suddenly calls them back for a mission. So the whole "let's let them outside for a bit" scene was entirely pointless. Anyways, they're given another change of costume. I guess those other ones were just workout clothes? They're still better than the Tron outfits and Ridge ditches the cowboy hat, so I don't mind that much. And while everyone gets prepped, Thunder and Ridge have an aside to try and look into Niles' stuff when they have a chance. His tech is just a little too close to NOWHERE's for them to not be suspicious.

Off they go, on what's promised to be a simple retrieval mission. But of course, nothing can be simple for these kids, and it turns out the retrieval is for our old friends Windshear and Bright Eyes. Bright is right, because the comic is now coloured with a heavy amout of whitespace and shadows, and it does actually hurt to look at from how stark it is. But yeah, it turns out these two are not dead, and have been reprogrammed and upgraded by NOWHERE. They're here to try and bring back our heroes, and they don't particularly care how bloody it gets to do so.

Fortunately, just because they've had their powers upgraded, it hasn't exactly sharpened the intellect on ol' Bright Eyes and Windshear. Windshear ends up knocked out when Ridge just jumps out of his way, letting Terra bring up a rock wall in front of him. And Bright Eyes is dealt with by Beast Boy going for her eyes with bird talons, and Thunder then just unleashing on her when she's distracted. But of course, nothing's that simple. New trainees don't go out alone, after all. And their supervisors are now here to clean up their mess: Warblade and Rose Wilson.

You know what? This issue isn’t too bad. It might be the best issue of Ravagers yet, actually. The fighting is kept to a minimum, and it focuses a bit on introspection between the characters. Honestly, I would have preferred it if we’d had even more time with the kids having their free day. It barely focused on the other three, only really checking in with Ridge’s issues. But oh well. Probably won’t get to much of it next issue either~

[mochuelovelli]

Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 6

Morgase serves tea and makes a choice

Chapter 6: Questioning Intentions

Oh man Morgase POV is always sad.

Though I suppose her situation now is arguably better than it’s been in…oh…ten books or so, so maybe it will get better for her.

Right now, she’s serving tea.

Tam al’Thor, the simple farmer with the broad shoulders and the calm manners.

And also your in-law. Well, sort of. I mean, it’s complicated.

Okay sorry now I’m distracted by the thought of how absurd those family dinners would be. You’ve got Rand, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha (we’re just going to count that bonding as a marriage because to all intents and purposes…), then Tam, Morgase, Min’s aunts (are they alive? Why can I not remember this?), probably Amys given the sister-bonding ceremony, and if she’s there Rhuarc and Lian probably would be as well. Then Birgitte and Niella and Galad and Gawyn, and that’s just the immediate family but would you also have to extend a courtesy invite to Alanna, and therefore also Ihvon? And if we’re extending courtesy invites based on ‘has real estate in Rand’s head’ then we’ve got to invite Moridin as well, and at that point even without additional plus-ones I don’t envy the person who has to make that seating chart.

That was a tangent.

Of course, Morgase had seen Rand al’Thor once, and the boy hadn’t looked much more than a farmer himself.

Okay I do sort of want to be a fly on the wall when Morgase finds out that Elayne is pregnant with his child.

Speaking of seating charts, we get a roll call for this meeting but it does not add up to 23. Yes I will be looking for that everywhere now.

Very little about that time in her life made sense to her now. Had she really been so infatuated with a man that she’d banished Aemlyn and Ellorien?

Oh Morgase. If she can get one thing out of this mess, let it be the knowledge of who Gaebril really was. Because sure, sometimes it’s better not to know. But one of the cruellest things he did to her, in that whole mess of cruelty, was to leave her with absolutely no way of knowing this was not, truly, all her fault. He took away her self, her trust in and certainty of who she is. He undermined her nation and banished her friends and made her believe, even after his death, that it was by her hand and by her choice.

As if the physical and mental violation wasn’t enough. He found a way to violate her on another level as well, by twisting her own sense of herself, by leaving behind a ruin and leaving her no way to understand that it wasn’t of her own making. The Queen is married to the land, and for all she knows, she has betrayed that in every possible way, and she can’t possibly know that her choices were not her own.

Knowing that it wasn’t her choice, and that there was nothing she could have done… I mean that won’t be fun either, but it would at least give her something of her self back.

Meanwhile, Perrin’s annoyed at how long it took the Wise Ones and Aes Sedai to burn that village. Listen, people, you can’t keep judging these things by Rand. Just because he could take out a city in a matter of seconds doesn’t mean everyone can. Do I need to invent more units of measurement here? The Therin: potential mountains created or destroyed per unit of time.

“You wetlanders would have much trouble dealing with something as deadly as the Blight.”

“I think,” Faile said, “that you would be surprised.”

Yeah. Also don’t say that in Lan’s hearing.

Oddly, Faile’s sense of leadership seemed to have been enhanced by her time spent with the Shaido.

Nope, sorry, still not here for halfhearted attempts to pretend that storyline was All For Her Benefit, Actually. Especially because if we do take that on faith, it leads to some… okay no I’m not rehashing all my issues with the Malden plotline here; none of us need that.

Suffice it to say: ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

At times, being a servant seemed to require more stealth than being a scout. She wasn’t to be seen, wasn’t to distract. Had her own servants acted this way around her?

Morgase and Siuan could have an interesting conversation about dramatic changes in social and political status in a short space of time. And also, you know, extreme trauma and other fun pastimes, but especially the way they both then look at and try to come to terms with their new situations. They both do the same sort of thing of looking at all the ways in which they can still exercise power, only more subtly. The advantages of being overlooked and underestimated. And some of it is likely a kind of denial—a way to not feel like everything they knew and everything they were is lost. To try to focus on the advantages because that makes it hurt less. And the way in which they approach that is the politician’s way: turn it to your advantage, look for lines of power that weren’t there before. And also to think through the implications, and see things they may once have overlooked.

It's a hell of a price to pay for a change in perspective, but the fact that she can look at it that way, and think along some of those lines, is in its way a testament to her capability.

It discomforted her that the two Aes Sedai no longer seemed to resist their station.

Pretty sure we’re not really talking about the Aes Sedai here, Morgase. Because this is the other side of that acceptance of a new role: the fear that, in accepting it, she will lose what remains of herself. Oh look, we’re back to that central idea of identity and self and what it means to hold or lose or change that, and the fine balance between those possibilities.

Pouring tea was more complicated than she’d ever assumed.

This is something Jordan occasionally did as well: centring a chapter—especially one told from the viewpoint of a more minor character—around a motif or touchpoint like this, returning to it as a way of anchoring the rest of the chapter, and giving it more shape, especially when much of it is introspection or observation rather than action. Ornaments comes to mind, from Crossroads of Twilight, but there are quite a few others.

And of course I’m never going to complain about tea being used as a device for focusing a chapter.

It gives us a point from which to segue into Morgase’s thoughts on Perrin, which boil down to a solid ‘it’s complicated’. Mostly because by the standards of the Queen of Andor, he’s technically a rebel.

Alliandre’s cup was half empty. Morgase moved over to refill it; like many highborn ladies, Alliandre always expected her cup to be full.

And so we see the function of the tea: it’s a focal point for the chapter, but more than that it’s the method we’re using to get Morgase’s thoughts about and insights into the various people gathered here. Little bits of character and personality in… not so much how they take their tea, but the considerations around it. The things Morgase has to think about and keep track of, even for so simple a task. And so we get insight into Morgase’s new role as well, and into some of what she’s learning: that even in a position where she is largely unnoticed, there is a great deal she can and must see, and know, and understand about those around her. To pick up on those cues and know what they mean, and how that gives her insight into far more than how they take their tea.

Morgase was no longer the person she had once been. She wasn’t sure what she was, but she would learn how to do her duty as a lady’s maid. This was becoming a passion for her. A way to prove to herself that she was still strong, still of value.

In a way, it was terrifying that she worried about that.

And really fucking sad. But also entirely true to who she is and her situation. She’s lost everything. Her role, her nation, her friends, her sense of self, her sense of autonomy, her name, her identity. And she believes most of it to be her own fault, through her own poor choices and decisions. And now she’s here, under a new name and a new role and everyone believing the person she was to be dead, and Morgase herself came pretty close to making that true. How could she not feel lost, and uncertain of who she is, and desperate to prove that she’s still…someone. To prove that she was right to let Lini draw her away from that open window. Which, yeah, that gets dark fast, but Morgase’s story is not a happy one.

With all she has lost and all she can no longer be, she’s left in this space of not really knowing her purpose, or her place, or even who she is, anymore. And that’s hard enough, but then we add in all the self-loathing stemming from what she thinks she did, and failed to do, and the choices she’s had to make, and you end up here: with Morgase struggling to find any sense of self-worth. And so believing she has to prove—to herself, to others—that she is worth something, because there’s so much in her mind telling her she’s…not.

Meanwhile, Perrin still seems to think he can just send everyone home and everything will go back to normal. Speaking of denial.

“I’m not trying to recruit,” Perrin said. “Just because I don’t turn them away doesn’t mean I intend to enlarge this army any further.”

That sounds oddly like Lan’s resignation to Nynaeve recruiting him an army on a technicality. The difference being Lan at least recognises that’s what’s happening.

Perrin please.

“I didn’t make this banner,” Perrin said. “I never wanted it, but—upon advice—I let it fly. Well, the reasons for doing that are past. I’d order the thing taken down, but that never seems to work for long.” He looked to Wil. “Wil, I want it passed through camp. I’m giving a direct order. I want each and every copy of this blasted banner burned. You understand?”

Two steps forward and one step back.

I mean, I suppose you could make an argument on either side of this: on the one hand seriously, Perrin? You have been trying to deny this banner and your place as leader of these people for nine books now. Has it ever worked for you before? And do you really want to take away that focal point, that symbol to these people of what they’re fighting for and who they’re loyal to and why?

On the other hand… giving up his claim to Manetheren wasn’t a popular decision but I think it was the right one, because it helped focus them on what was truly important and prevent unnecessary tension between those who should be allies, by getting mixed up in the politics of raising a dead nation from the land of existing ones. And you could maybe argue that this is a similar angle, and that he’s trying to get them to focus not on him but on the larger purpose they all need to serve. But that feels like I’m trying too hard.

So, in summary: sigh.

Faile is also very much not convinced. I do sort of get where Perrin’s coming from, that if these people want to fight, they can do so for the Dragon Reborn because he’s the actual champion of the Light. But in reality, delegation is important, Perrin! That’s why you have a place in this as well! That’s why the Pattern dumped leadership superpowers and also wolves on you! Someone needs to actually do the groundwork of leading these people and Rand doesn’t have time or capacity for all of it.

And these people know you, Perrin. You’re the one they chose to follow; Rand is… well, as in so many things, more a force than a person at this point, in the eyes of most. They can fight for his cause, sure, but they’re not really fighting for him the way they’ll fight for the one who helped save their village or their people, and the one they see day to day and choose to give their loyalty to.

“Son,” Tam addressed Perrin, “the lads put a lot of stock in that banner.”

That pretty much says it all. This isn’t a time to be taking that kind of symbol from people, or messing unnecessarily with their sense of identity, or their foundations. In a weird way I’m reminded of Egwene’s approach with the Aes Sedai, and all her thoughts on how to reforge the Tower without breaking it. Making some compromises where needed because while there are some places where she can push, she can’t afford to completely shatter their sense of who they are. Not now, when there’s so little time.

And with Perrin, it’s that same sense of… work with what you have. Forge the metal you’re given. This is the situation, and maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s what you have. That loyalty is a part of the toolset you’ve been handed, so see it for what it is and work with it rather than trying to force it into a different shape and risk breaking the metal entirely.

Literally no one thinks this is a good idea.

“Husband,” Faile said, her words clipped. “Might I suggest that we begin with the ones who want to be sent away?”

And so it comes down, like so much else, to choices; Perrin wants to send them away but these people have chosen to follow him. He’s not keeping them here; they’ve decided to stay. And yes, you can flip that around and say he should also have the choice not to lead, and… yeah, okay, that’s a bit like how Rand technically has the choice not to fight. It’s a choice but not one either of them could really live with themselves for making, and so it becomes a question of framing and perception.

But also, Perrin does lead. When it comes down to it, he takes on that role. That is the choice he makes, over and over, in the moment. It’s in the time between those moments of action, when he is his own worst enemy in a way: he doubts and he fights against it and he looks back on past choices and questions himself and his role and his purpose. In the moment, he leads and he fights and he uses what he has. But in these periods of inaction he thinks himself into a tangle of ‘I’m only a blacksmith’, even when all his actions say otherwise. He just needs to get to a point where he can acknowledge and accept and own that.

Instead, he keeps wavering. And keeps trying to make it stick, but he’s trying to make the choice for those who follow him, rather than making his own choice, and so it doesn’t work.

The Pattern’s bringing maths into it now as well: they literally can’t keep large enough gateways open long enough to send everyone away. A hint, Perrin. Take it.

“Also,” Faile said, “perhaps it is time to send messengers to contact the Lord Dragon”

Someone suggesting proactive communication? If we didn’t already know the apocalypse was near…

“I…” Perrin seemed to flounder. Had he a source of information he wasn’t sharing?

Morgase. Please. Do you even need to ask? Does anyone in this series share anything?

Though in this case ‘I see swirls of colour and sometimes a bit of context whenever I think the names of my friends’ is, understandably, the sort of thing you might want to keep quiet until you can think of a way to frame it so that it doesn’t sound absolutely absurd. Although ‘absurd’ is sort of a moot point when the sky is full of black and silver clouds and the Blight appears in villages that don’t actually exist, so. It’s all relative.

Edarra suggests linking with the Asha’man and on the one hand yes! Cooperation! Good! But on the other hand why would you make it easier for Perrin to continue to try to send everyone away?

I suppose she’s thinking more of the refugees who do actually want to go home, though, so… okay fair enough.

“What would it cost me for you to try this?”

“You have worked too long with Aes Sedai, Perrin Aybara,” Edarra said with a sniff. “Not everything must be done at a cost. This will benefit us all.”

On that last, she is absolutely right. This is what they all need to be doing, and finally we’re starting to see it: cooperation, collaboration, setting aside old divisions and realising that perhaps if they work together they will be stronger for it. Small steps, and all that.

“Burn you, woman, why didn’t you bring it to me earlier, then?”

“You seem hardly interested in your position as chief, most of the time,” Edarra said coldly. “Respect is a thing earned and not demanded, Perrin Aybara.”

Ouch. On both sides there, because they both very much have a point. Edarra should have brought this up earlier, to someone even if not to Perrin.

But Perrin… this is where he kind of tries to have his cake and eat it: he says he’s not a leader, that he’s only a blacksmith, that he wants to send people away or let them fight for Rand rather than him. Tries to deny his role during the times when it’s not absolutely imperative that he claim it. But at other times he is quick to take command, and to make the decisions, and to give direction. And now, he wants to know why she didn’t bring this to him. Because he is, after all, the authority here.

If you would have that, Perrin, you have to accept all the aspects of it. You can’t keep leading these people and then saying you’re not actually their leader, but then also expect them to abide by your decisions—whether that’s to send them away, or to expect them to come to you with information.

There’s an interesting irony in how, by trying to be responsible and not take on a role he doesn’t think he’s suited for, he ends up doing something arguably irresponsible by neglecting the duties of a role he has in fact taken.

It’s not easy. It doesn’t seem like fun. But Perrin, you have to make the choice and claim it and understand what it means, and stop denying yourself.

To his very great credit, Perrin takes the admonishment seriously.

Aiel were people, like any other. They had odd traditions and cultural quirks, but so did everyone else. A queen had to be able to understand all of the people within her realm—and all of her realm’s potential enemies.

I like this about Morgase, and it’s something we see in Elayne as well: this acknowledgement of the importance of cultural understanding. They don’t always get it right, of course, but they understand the importance of it, and while we haven’t seen as much of Morgase in general, we do see Elayne try to follow through on this whenever she’s faced with a different people or group or culture, and I think this is where she gets it from.

Ah, so Balwer wants to visit Rand’s academy in Cairhien. What exactly are you hoping to find, Balwer?

Would [Balwer] tell Aybara who she really was?

I…huh. I hadn’t even thought of that. The others in that group obviously didn’t want or intend to tell anyone who Morgase is, but Balwer has given his loyalty and service to Perrin, so it is actually kind of interesting that he wouldn’t have said anything. But then, if Perrin hasn’t asked, and Balwer also has no specific desire to betray Morgase, I suppose he wouldn’t necessarily bring it up either. And it’s not like people here default to communication when there’s any other option, so… okay, that checks out.

Besides, think how much more fun it will be for this all to come out when Perrin and Galad run into each other. And by fun I mean probably the opposite of that for nearly everyone involved. But fun for me, which is of course the important thing.

She should have approached the dusty man earlier, to see what the price would be to keep his silence. Mistakes like that could cost a queen her throne.

She froze, hand halfway to a cup. You’re not a queen any longer. You have to stop thinking like one!

Oh, Morgase. There’s just… that’s quite a lot of pain packed into a few almost-offhand thoughts.

Especially because, again, it brings it back to this question of self and identity and who is she, now that she’s not a queen? To the point where she’s trying to remake the very patterns of her thoughts, to make herself into someone else because she can’t be who she was before, but if that person is lost then what is left?

Also, on a somewhat less sad note, there’s another small irony here: Morgase, a former queen, trying to force herself out of those habits of thinking, while she and everyone else around her is trying to push Perrin into them.

Of course now Morgase is thinking about how she can’t really go home, because people have to continue to believe she’s dead and Elayne has to be able to stand on her own otherwise it’s a political nightmare and she’s not necessarily wrong but man, Morgase’s story is fucking sad.

Why had she done such things?

I know I’ve already said this at least five hundred times but please, please just let her find out. Of everything, and there’s a lot, I think this is the worst. Bad enough she’s lost everything else and suffered everything she’s suffered and is now adrift, effectively an exile, and trying to find her place—how can she do that when she doesn’t even have her own self to hold on to? When she can barely even trust that? And especially when it comes with the consequences of those things she thinks she did of her own volition, because it’s not just that she doesn’t trust herself; for some things she hates herself.

Perhaps she should have done the noble thing and killed herself.

Wow.

Okay. So that’s.

Yeah. That got dark.

I mean, it’s not… a surprise, given that we very much watched her near-suicide, but…damn. For her to think that would have been the ‘noble thing’. For her to think that her survival is not in and of itself a victory.

She doesn’t even know if Elayne is queen yet, or even in Caemlyn. And politics aside, how hard that must be to not know where her daughter is or even if she’s alive.

Apparently she officially likes Tallanvor now, which… okay sure she deserves whatever happiness she can find, at this point, but this one has always sort of weirded me out. Then again that’s true of a lot of the romance in this series, so okay sure whatever.

Looking into those beautiful young eyes of his, she could not entertain the notion of suicide, even for the good of Andor. She felt a fool for that. Hadn’t she let her heart lead her into enough trouble already?

Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here and I don’t know that I’m going to even try with all of it, but I’m… not a fan of the way it plays to this whole he’s-what-keeps-her-from-killing-herself angle. I just find that an uncomfortable space in general, for any number of reasons.

But the part that hurts, here, of course, is the last part. Hadn’t she let her heart lead her into enough trouble already. Because again, she thinks this is all her fault. Everything that’s happened; she thinks it’s just… her own poor choices, when the truth is that she had no choice, for so much of it. Which… I mean I don’t think I need to make the obvious real-world connection here, but it plays very true to that tendency for those not at all at fault to blame themselves, and how devastating that can be.

Perrin of course knows none of this but does know there’s something going on with Morgase and Tallanvor, because Tallanvor in particular is not exactly subtle.

Morgase raised an eyebrow. From what she’d seen, Perrin himself had followed Faile around lately nearly as much.

Point to Morgase.

PERRIN. NO.

“I was given a suggestion back when you first joined us,” Perrin said gruffly. “Well, I think it’s about time I took it. Lately, you two are like youths from different villages, mooning over one another in the hour before Sunday ends. It’s high time you were married. We could have Alliandre do it, or maybe I could. Do you have some tradition you follow?”

YOU. ABSOLUTE. IDIOT.

Hang on a second, I need to go find a wall to hit my head against repeatedly.

I just. Perrin. No. Why would you even. Think this was a good idea. Pause for five seconds and consider.

Even without any of the knowledge of how awful Morgase’s life has been for the last year or so, Perrin should know better, damn it. You can’t just tell two people to get married as if they have no say in the matter! Especially when it’s not even like he’s taking one of them aside to have a quiet word about ‘this is getting in the way of your work; sort it out’, which would be kind of awkward but just about skirting the edges of acceptability. No, he’s saying it to both of them, when he has no confirmation from either that this is actually what they want. But he’s in charge here so now it’s hard for either of them to refuse him, and of course that would mean publicly rejecting the other, and in short this is the worst idea you’ve had in a while, Perrin.

And then of course—not that Perrin has any reason to know this—there’s the reality of Morgase’s recent past, which makes having her agency taken away (again) in the context of marriage and all that entails (again), even more of a glaring Do Not Want.

Morgase felt a sudden panic

I mean yeah, that’s probably the understatement of the fucking Age.

“Gather any you want to witness and be back here in an hour. Then we’ll get this silliness over with.”

So it’s not enough to take away any choice they may have in the matter and assume you know best; now you need to trivialise it as well? Perrin Aybara you are better than this.

“Well?” Perrin asked.

“No,” Morgase said.

Such a small, quiet thing, but it’s everything in the context of her story. That at last, after so many kinds of violation, after so many instances of her choice or her agency or her name or her will taken from her, she can say no. And she does.

It’s not precisely subtle but it’s also not precisely loud; it’s just a turning point and a reclaiming of self after so long of having that taken away from her. That now, she can stand as herself and say no, I will not.

She didn’t want to see the inevitable disappointment and rejection in Tallanvor’s face.

Which is the other reason you don’t just drag two people into a room and tell them to get married! Because even if they might want to marry each other, one or both might have some objections on principle to being told to do so! And then you’ve just created unnecessary tension in the relationship itself because now she’ll have to explain that ‘it’s not you, it’s that for once in my damn storyline I want to be able to give or deny consent of my own damn volition’.

I’m just very, very here for Morgase Trakand finally having a chance to stand up for herself and say no, because that has so long been denied to her in so many ways. And to find it in herself, even with all that has come before, to do that, because it would be so easy to just…accept it. But instead she stands her ground and in doing so, in asserting herself in front of someone else, it’s almost like asserting herself to herself as well. That she is here and she is someone and she has a choice and she will make it.

“Why, the Queen herself wouldn’t demand this!”

Ha. Okay, you’ve earned that one, I think.

“Forcing two people to marry because you’re tired of the way they look at one another? Like two hounds you intend to breed, then sell the pups?”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You said it nonetheless.”

Yeah, this is… very much not Perrin’s finest hour here.

Whereas for Morgase… everything about this carries so much more weight than meets the eye, given all she has been through, and I’m just very here for it.

Pulling herself up to her full height, she almost felt a queen again. “If I choose to marry a man, I will make that decision on my own.”

Reclamation of identity! In reclaiming all the choices that have been taken from her! So much of what came before, all those times she couldn’t choose, was just this long agonising process of stripping away everything she was and everything she could hold on to in herself. And she’s been so lost for so long, and so here, in claiming that choice again, she finds some part of herself again as well. She may no longer be a queen but it’s not really about the crown, it’s about feeling like herself again, and finding something there.

Really, Tallanvor, in this case it’s honestly not you; it’s… a whole pile of other things. Don’t take it personally.

Morgase measured Perrin, who was blushing. She softened her tone. “You’re young at this yet, so I’ll give you advice. There are some things a lord should be involved in, but others he should always leave untouched.”

I do like that we get this—it was important for Morgase to be able to draw a line and stand by it and say, unequivocally, no. And to make it very clearly understood why Perrin was crossing a line.

But she also acknowledges that there was no malice in it; it was fucking stupid, but he did mean well. So let him feel painfully awkward for a few minutes, let it sink in, and then grant him this to soften it.

Man, that was awkward.

I mean, again, absolutely here for Morgase finally getting to make a damn choice, but would kind of have preferred if it weren’t at the cost of Perrin being written into quite this level of uncomfortable idiocy. Which I suppose is part of why I’m glad it ends on that sense of ‘you meant well but no’, rather than letting it escalate.

Basically: great character moment for Morgase but overall not a particularly well-done scene, I feel like.

It seemed she had some spark left in her after all. She hadn’t felt that firm or certain of herself since… well, since before Gaebril’s arrival in Caemlyn!

That pretty much sums it up. She needed this, needed to find that within herself.

And now enter Whitecloaks, stage left. This’ll get interesting.

Next (ToM ch 7) Previous (ToM ch 5)

[basilone]

EVA!!! CONGRATS ON 400!! you deserve each and every one for your absolutely amazing writing and your form&void series and your stunning gifs and your ability to make me join in on the ronnix ship LOL!!! (and i will FINALLY have time to get back to your message tonight, becaus i agree - life is well LIFE AH but ill finally answer tonight!!)

But I guess just to continue our convo in a way, with your War/God creation and my Death motif!

I guess maybe if you wish to comment on that sort of idea of taking a concept like War or Death and using it to make it almost in a sense, human (for you) and as a ‘being’ or motif (for me) just because I LOVE talking about it with you and you always have so many fascinating things to say on this topic, and I always enjoy our convos about this!! <3 congrats again my friend!! 🥺💛

Thank you so much!! ❤️ Ahhh, your compliments, I’m collapsing, this is too sweet! Hardly know what to say except I’m so glad you enjoy the content I put out there! I feel so great about being such an instigator when it comes to that Ronnix ship, lol -- they truly deserve the attention and exploration, haha. (Even when, yeah, Ron/Chuck is still the OTP for me personally!) 

Ahh gods take your time, really!! Life gets life-y sometimes, it happens, it has to, and I’m happy to hear from you any time you have a moment to spare. =D 

I typed up a really long reply to what you’re asking here, lol, so I’m going to put it under a cut for readability’s sake. If you want to see me ramble about Speirs, War, and using concepts like Death as a narrative device.. go right ahead and read it all. ;) It’s such an interesting conversation to have! 

I really wanted to do a Speirs character study in fic-format, and I think you can't really do a character study of this man without exploring how he relates to war. I could've done this as an introspective of sorts by using the speech he gives to Blithe as a springboard, but I found it far more intriguing to have war be something he can literally interact with because it would allow me to touch the full range of his character more. The easiest way to make that work was to dive into an alternate universe in which gods can manifest in a physical sense.

I looked at a lot of old myths, but always knew that war was going to manifest as a woman. She's modeled after older gods whose scope of influence extends beyond war and also includes sexuality, beauty, justice, and even love. War can include all of these things, and the real questions to ask here are things like.. what else would you fight for if not for love, what makes war so alluring to soldiers, what do you allow to wreck you? Speirs, for all his talk of no mercy/remorse or compassion, for all the ways he is living as though he's already dead, is shown as being remarkably caring in his own way and being vastly in touch with his company and the kind of things he needs to do. He's not a cold man at all, and so I saw the opportunity for conflict with the way war manifests in his life here. There's a very human kind of interaction between Speirs and War throughout the form&void series that's just really fascinating to play with -- what do you do with a god who demands more, more, more, and doesn't always seem to care about your feelings?

My version of War is vicious, kinda petty, always down to throw hands, relentless, inconsiderate of people's feelings at times, alluring, seductive, matter-of-fact, really demanding, vaguely caring in her own way.. I think I landed at her being like a stray cat that really wants attention and will dramatically drape herself across your lap until you give it to her, but that will also forever remain a wild thing and scratch your eyes out if you treat her wrong. She's hard to love and hard to please, which is something Speirs has learned over the years but still struggles with from time to time. She is very much the thing that wrecks him, especially during/after Landsberg, and in a way TLBD turned out to be very much about him learning to let go of her. To let go of war, and find some semblance of peace after. Doesn't mean she won't be around in the rest of his life, and she'll absolutely return when he's called back to fight and will be there for him on the day he dies, but he's allowed to move forward and become more than just this War-chosen captain.

Using War in this respect allowed me to characterize Speirs more deeply, to show there's conflict with him as well, to show the reasoning behind some of his actions, etc. I love working with him as a character because he has a very interesting and complex presence in the narrative. I talked a lot more about that here!! (Basically, get me going on Speirs and you will get HOURS worth of content and characterization lmao I’m not joking.)

For you, I know you're using Death as a being who doesn't quite interact with your characters but is still a story presence.. which I found truly fitting, because you're focusing a whole lot more on the way the resistance in Europe worked and on how commonplace death was in those days. Death was an everyday reality during the war for so many, and to shift the perspective in the narrative to include Death's literal presence is such an interesting way to explore how much it permeated society/life at the time. To keep Death separate from your characters in interaction makes it an omnipresent influence they have to contend with but cannot fight, cannot reason with, and cannot ignore for long. I can't think of a better way to portray it! I mean, Speirs has the luxury of screaming himself hoarse at War and then collapsing in her arms if he feels like it.. Your characters don't get that luxury with Death at all, and it is a testament to how powerless and horrid an experience the war was for many people in Europe at the time. 

Using these things as a narrative device can enhance a story and enhance the way characters are portrayed within the story. To give literal shape to concepts like War and Death somehow and have them be tangible presences in the narrative -- whether it’s a literal or a more metaphorical presence doesn’t really matter -- gives you the opportunity to really move deep on some of the issues and conflict that inevitably pops up when you’re writing about something as momentous as WW2!!