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thebibliomancer · 6 months

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Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #55: THE BREAKING STRAIN

February, 1990

"Let there be an ENDING!"

Yes, please, let there!

Actually, by skipping everything not Avengers, Acts of Vengeance has been fairly bearable.

But still. Let's get this over with.

Last times in Wanda's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Month: Vision was kidnapped by every world government, disassembled, rebuilt wrong, and has decided to join the East Coast Avengers, while leaving Wanda in the West. Wanda was also kidnapped by a Texas college and pumped full of racism goo. And had her children kidnapped and eaten by a Satanist who then exploded because they were actually not babies but chunks of Mephisto. Then, her mentor Agatha Harkness erased Wanda's memories of ever having children. On top of all that, a Deviant kidnapped Wanda to try to force her to marry a snake god.

I'm not surprised she's gone catatonic from all that. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

In Acts of Vengeance: Doctor Doom's robots sank Avengers Island. The U-Foes burned down the Avengers West Coast Mansion. Freedom Force smashed up Avengers Park and then the Mandarin and Wizard show up to smash it up some more. And Magneto sends Wanda's house into orbit, with Wanda inside.

I swear. The Avengers just aren't allowed any nice things.

Also, they caught the Wizard when the Mandarin ditched him.

And now, house in orbit.

Magneto muses on how Wanda is so catatonic that even getting thrown into orbit didn't get a reaction from her.

Magneto: "Clearly the time has come for a more direct approach."

Call me suspicious but I don't think Magneto's idea of mental health care is going to be very good.

But this is Acts of Vengeance. Which Magneto has ditched in order to go see Wanda.

There's an ending to let there be happening.

Thor announces to the assembled Avengers that all the trouble they've been doing through is definitely the act of Loki.

He doesn't know how Loki organized this but he's definitely sure of that.

Wasp is confused because Cloak and Dagger told her that Doctor Doom was behind things, based on their own Acts of Vengeance tie-ins.

And the Avengers have the Wizard locked up in a holding cell, loudly insisting to anyone that will listen that he's the mastermind of everything.

Speaking of the Wizard, he decides he doesn't want to be in Avengers jail anymore.

And he just leaves.

He has a miniature teleportation device built under a false fingernail and he uses it to make a portal directly to Acts of Vengeance headquarters.

Where, to his annoyance, he finds that his fellow Prime Movers don't really give a shit he was in Avengers jail. Because they're too busy debating whether Doctor Doom was ever hanging out with them or whether he was always a Doombot.

The Wizard immediately starts shit by yelling at the Mandarin for abandoning him.

The Mandarin: "Do not blame me for your own shortcomings, Wizard. When the tide of battle turned against us, I withdrew. you should have done the same."

Owned.

The Wizard shoots back that he did withdraw, once he felt like it! So there! But he had to put up with an Avengers interrogation before he could teleport from his cell.

Which Definitely Loki is very annoyed to hear about.

Definitely Loki: "Ignorant mortal! Say thou hast not done this thing!!" Wizard: "?!? Unhand me, lackey! How dare you raise hand or voice to your better?!"

And Loki takes exception to that. And reveals that he's Loki. Duh.

Kingpin just peacing out while everyone is gawking kills me.

He's the third smartest villain involved. After Doom, who may not have ever been involved, and Magneto, who only got involved to handle some personal business.

Meanwhile, another weird timeline thingy.

President Lincoln is attending the theater, as Presidents Lincoln are wont to do, but when John Wilkes Booth tries to shoot him, as Johns Wilkes Booths are wont to do, it aggros the full force of Kentucky woodsman in Lincoln and he jumps up and slaps Booth's aim astray.

Amazing.

So amazing that Immortus (sitting in on the divergence as a general) wishes he could just leave this timeline alone.

But in order to accomplish his vague goal of becoming master of time again, he has to snuff out all alternate timelines. For some reason.

He returns to Limbo (the time one) and discovers to his annoyance that his Wanda-stalking scanner has lost Wanda due to a "massive disruption of the Earth's electromagnetic field."

My dude.

You can't spy on her in hell. You can't spy on her if there are magnets.

You're being made to look like a chump by people who don't even know you're involved.

Wonder Man returns to the Avengers West Coast Compound from the Mole Man thing last time to find one entire missing cottage which should have a Wanda.

He asks Agatha Harkness, what the shit, you had one job!

Agatha says that the house was thrown into orbit faster than she could cast a spell to do anything about it.

US Agent shows up and says that the cottage is about thirty miles up and ten miles off from where it launched.

Wonder Man yells at US Agent for not doing anything to stop a cottage from launching into space.

... C'mon, dude. He has the powers of Captain America plus the power of being a jerk nobody likes. How is he supposed to stop a house launch?

Anyway, he wasn't even at the compound when the cottage launched. He was at the Mole Man thing too.

He got back just in time to see the house blast-off and then checked the tracking system to find where it had gone.

Wonder Man just wants to fly off after Wanda. Even though his belt jets don't work in space.

US Agent suggests using one of the space-capable Quinjets instead.

Wonder Man: "Well, this is a first! You being the calming influence in a situation, Agent!" US Agent: "Belay the jabber, Wonder Man.

The two find the house just floating in space.

Houses don't just launch themselves, usually, so US Agent suspects some supervillain plot. And since Wonder Man is near indestructible, he gets to go poke around while US Agent watches the ship.

And for some reason, Wonder Man puts on a space helmet. Guy doesn't need to breath but constantly wears space helmets or lets people grow gills on him.

Maybe he just wants to feel like one of the cool people. Maybe that's where Vision got it from.

Anyway, when Wonder Man approaches the orbiting house, it explodes in his face.

Geez. The Avengers just can't keep a headquarters unexploded, unsunk, or unburned down in this event.

But not time to follow up on exploding space houses. There's Acts of Vengeancing to wrap up.

Loki has the villains too stupid to have peaced out (Wizard, Red Skull, the Mandarin) magically levitated so he has a captive audience to rant at.

Loki: "FOOLS! Stupid, mortal imbeciles! And all the greater fool is Loki, that ever I did trust the petty egos of mortals with the consummation of my plan! I didst think that by directing so-called super-villains into attacking champions unaccustomed with their powers I could rid this world of super heroes... And in the process once and for all destroy those who have so long vexed me by their very existence!"

Loki singles out Wizard to yell at. Because teleporting directly from the Avengers' holding cell to Acts of Vengeance HQ means that if Thor uses Mjolnir, he could track the energy trace and just show up!

Thor: "Say thee not 'if', beloved sibling... Say thee rather WHEN!"

You have such a good sense of timing, Thor.

Also, he brought Dr Pym, Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Captain America, Wasp, Iron Man, Vision, and Falcon with him to kick Loki's ass.

Loki responds to imminent booty thrashing by dismantling the Acts of Vengeance HQ to reveal it was located on the Isle of Silence this whole time!

The very place Loki was exiled when he tried to get Hulk and Thor to fight, which caused the Avengers to form.

So now Thor understands the why.

And despite being a place of exile, Loki has spent so much time here (a lot of it voluntary) that he has mastered the dimension.

He brings forth Silent Ones from below the ground to fight Captain America. He tangles Hawkeye and Mockingbird in roots. He buffets Falcon and Wasp with winds. He creates a plume of fire that engulfs Iron Man.

Cap tells Thor to go beat up Loki since he's the best one to do that. Not bogged down in some mischief currently and also very experienced at punching Loki in his Loki face.

Thor chases after Loki and Loki scampers away saying he'll only fight in a time and place of his choosing when he thinks he'll win! He creates a wall of ice between him and Thor.

Focused on the Avengers, Loki loses his hold on the Wizard, the Mandarin, and the Red Skull.

Red Skull argues this is their best chance to strike at the heroes, while they're distracted.

The Mandarin calls him a stupid dumbass. This whole thing has been Loki's scheme and Mandarin isn't going down for it. He's leaving Loki to his own failure (like he did the Wizard. Consistent.)

When Loki dismantled the meeting place, he left the walls lying on the ground. And the dimensional portals built into each door is still active so the three villains not smart enough to fuck off until now now fuck off.

Wasp and Cap notice the villains getting away but, eh, they're busy right now. They'll get them next time.

Thor just smashes through the wall of ice because it's ice.

Thor: "Show thyself to have at least some fragment of our father in thee! Some small spirit of the godhood! Of the nobility which is our birthright!" Loki: "Speak to me not of nobility, Thor! Thou dost speak of music to one born deaf! There is but one Lord Loki serves, and that is power!"

Funny to think that in recent years, Thor gets along much better with Loki than he does with Odin.

Loki creates a giant rock hand to crush Thor but Thor crushes the hand instead. And hits the ground so hard that it makes a fissure that Loki falls down.

Which Thor then seals up so he can't escape.

Pretty perfunctory conclusion to this ENORMOUS company wide event.

Cap is like geez did you just kill him but no, "gods do not perish thus" not even Loki.

Loki is just trapped under millions of tons of Earth. But alive.

Thor explains that Loki was Big Mad that his actions created the Avengers so he wanted to destroy them with this big villain team-up. But he only strengthened the resolve of the heroes.

Thor: "Let the evil minds of the world beware! Ever and always shall the Avengers prevail!"

Yeah, Old Man Logan's backstory set-up IS dumb, Thor.

Anyway. Everything is solved forever.

The West Coast situated Avengers return there.

Iron Man flies off in one direction, Hank and Jan in another direction in a Quinjet.

Janet and Hank re-explain the plot and how Loki was Big Mad at creating the Avengers.

... This is really a lot more explaining than is needed.

I do like how Jan puts it.

Wasp: "So... that's that! Another threat ended, and this time it all started because Loki got tired of the other villains poking fun at him at the annual bad guys' picnic!"

Hank lands the Quinjet in the hanger. He goes off to check on Tiny Tigra and Wasp goes to change.

Another day, another new Wasp outfit.

But after changing into the blue and white number, Jan goes to check on Wanda.

The cottage seems to be back in place but Wasp finds US Agent sprawled on the floor and warning her to get away while she can.

Wasp: "Get away? From what... ? Who... ? What's going on here? Where's Wanda? Where's Wonder Man?" US Agent: "Dead! Blown to bits out in space! Get away... Get away..." Wasp: "Wonder Man... killed?? But... by who??"

Scarlet Witch: "By me, Janet! I dealt with him as I shall deal with all the Avengers, now that my power has been finally unleashed!" Wasp: "W-Wanda...??" US Agent: "Tried to warn you... Now... Too late... too late for everyone!"

Ahh, knew we'd get here eventually.

If there's three things everyone knows about John Byrne's Avengers run, it's Vision being disassembled, Wanda's children turning out to be devil chunks, and Wanda having a heel turn.

So whatever happened in space between Catatonic Wanda and Magneto, Wanda is Evil now and also had an Evil Costume Change and Haircut.

Honestly, this isn't a bad look for her. Shame about the whole evil thing, she looks stylish af.

But next week I'm alternating over to Avengers. I'd consider doing the Evil Wanda plot before switching back over except there's a weird interruption in the middle of the arc where Byrne quits the book in a huff.

So best to stick to alternating. Besides, the Avengers got stuff going on too. Remember all that stuff with Real Nebula and that one old man who blew up his own house? Yeah, that stuff is popping off!

Follow at @essential-avengers for all the best vowels. You like A's? I got tons. Buy them in bulk because this is an Avengers blog. Like, reblog, comment, whatever.

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