#Knockyasocksoff2022

[justabtsblog]

Sorry I haven’t written in a while.

I’ve been stuck so I’ve been working on some Bungou Stray Dogs stories right now. Soukoku (Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya) is my new favourite pairing to write for. DON’T WORRY I HAVEN’T ABANDONED YOU ALL!

I’ll be back soon. probably as soon as I finish the Soukoku one shot I’m working on. It’s more of a mini fic at this point because you all know how my stories always somehow end up being at least three chapters longer than I meant for them to be (kind of like this post right now) anyways.

I’LL BE BACK SOON. I PROMISE

When I do come back I’ll be posting the last chapter of I Could Never Forget You | Namjin and a new story called Can I Be Your One | Taekook

SEE YOU ALL SOON 💜

(A/N: I was scroling down my blog to find a post and I realised it’s been so long since I’ve actually written anything for this blog. So so so sorry about all the reblogs guys lol. And I have a request I’m working on so yay!)

Any BTS and Bungou Stray Dogs fans here?

I write Bungou Stray Dogs things on a blog called knockyasocksoff2022. The same name as my Wattpad username.)

@knockyasocksoff2022

[knockyasocksoff2022]

“Mr Dazai, your son threw up at school.”

(Relationship Reveal and soft but chaotic parent Dazai because I can. Don’t worry there’s no graphic descriptions of throwing up. Gets super fluffy at the end. This was kind of rushed so may not be the best, also you can probably tell I suck at titles.)

Kind of long so it’s under the cut (2,360 words)

Kunikida P.O.V.

I'm always the first at work so when I arrive on our floor I start to put the key into the lock but when I do the door opens. I immediately tense and open it cautiously, in case this is another break in. But no thieves are in sight, just Dazai sitting at his desk, deep in conversation with the president.

My briefcase falls to the floor with a muffled clatter.

"Good Morning, Mr. President, Dazai-san" I pick up my case and head over to my desk, a bit embarrassed, but neither of them looks up.

Soon all the members are present and the work day begins.

—

Just as I finish my first report, a phone rings from the other side of the room, and Dazai's suicide song starts blasting. I sigh looking over to the man's desk only to find him trying to hang himself on the coat stand.

"Oh, Kunikida-kun" he sing songs, "Could you hand me my phone please."

"Oh fine." I huff, shoving the device at him, "But you better not be long, we do have work to do."

"I won't." He sing songs, he definitely will. UGH! Lazy waste of bandages.

The call starts and I find myself curious as to who would be calling Dazai this early in the morning.

He holds the phone to his ear while listening and a look of amusement crosses his face. After a second he answers sounding confused, "Yes, this is he. Why? Has Saku-chan done something problematic?"

Saku-chan? Dazai has a girlfriend?! I shoot him a look asking who the hell Saku-chan is and why is he speaking so formally, but he ignores me.

"Ahh, I see, what is the matter then?" He nods, a look of worry that I've never seen before crosses Dazai's face.

Dazai’s P.O.V

It’s awkward with the noose around my neck, but I finally manage to get the phone to my ear. A woman speaks into it. “Hello? This is Nurse Kajimura, Yokohama Primary School. Am I speaking to Dazai Osamu?”

I don’t understand, I just dropped Saku off an hour ago. (the school is on my way to work which was why I was early, also it was fun to see the looks on my coworkers faces.) What trouble could he have gotten in already.

“Yes, this is he. Why? Has Saku-chan done something problematic?” I answer.

(A/N: Soukoku named their kid after Oda 🥺🥹)

“Don’t worry, Sakunosuke is not in trouble, we called you because your husband was not answering his phone.” Oh that makes sense because Chuuya is on a mission in another city, probably super busy. Ohhhh! How dreadfully I miss my Chibi! “Ahh, I see, what is the matter then?”

“We need you to come and pick your son up as soon as possible, preferably immediately. He vomited in class this morning and has a cough, he is also running a low-grade temperature. He says his head and throat hurt. We think it may be the flu and suggest that you keep him home for the remainder of this week and through next week.”

Oh, my poor baby! I say in my head but decide not to be dramatic on the phone. “Oh, of course. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

Kunikida’s P.O.V

As soon as the call clicks off Dazai unties the noose faster than I've ever seen anyone untie a noose and is grabbing his car keys. His movements aren't frantic though, they never are.

"Hey, lazy Dazai! Where do you think you're going!? The workday isn't even half over yet!" I stand in front of the door.

He smiles calmly, then his face shifts into a wide grin as if he's about to say something he knows will shock me. I brace myself for whatever outlandish excuse he's prepared, knowing full well I could never actually stop him from leaving.

"I'm afraid I have to leave early, Kunikida-kun, my son threw up at school, and he has a fever. The nurse said I must come and get him as soon as possible."

Despite my mental preparations, his words catch me off guard. He takes advantage of my silence and continues, "Normally I wouldn't just up and leave like this," he's fully smirking now, "but my dear beloved husband is out of town for work so we're all alone."

"Y-your what . . . you're what!?" I struggle for words. What the hell made him come up with this?

"My husband, he's out of town for the next few days. That is why I have to pick up Saku-chan." He says simply, and I can tell he's enjoying this.

I shake my head to clear it and exhale. "Dazai, I don't know what's going on but you can't just ditch work when you've hardly even been here for more than a hour, honestly I've had enough!"

His expression turns from joking to icy cold in an instant, "May I remind you Kunikida, that I was here before you. And I will leave, so if you don't mind, I am going to pick up my son from school and I will not be coming back. If you want me to turn in a leave application I will, tomorrow. See you then."

His expression is serious, in a way that I've never seen it before, in fact I've never actually seen him look serious before. All his expressions that I thought were serious, pale in comparison to this death stare. I know that he is an excellent liar but . . . this expression. He must be telling the truth. The embarrassment is extreme. Of course it was only logical of me to assume that he was joking as an excuse for slacking off, given his reputation but still.

"Dazai . . . I apologise-" He's already out the door and I turn in defeat, only to see everyone else standing up at their desks, clearly acting as spectators to our confrontation. To my comfort they look as shocked as I feel. Well, not Ranpo (of course not) and the President. Did the president know about this? I feel slightly betrayed.

Junichirou recovers first, "Dazai-san has a child?"

"Possibly more than one" Ranpo offers though, obviously he knows exactly how many children Dazai has, and is choosing not to tell us.

"Well I think that that's wonderful." Kenji says smiling, "I would love to meet his children."

"Do you think that kid is alright, I mean, guys you can't forget that this is Dazai-san we're talking about." Atsushi gestures vaguely around the room looking worried.

"Who's the mum, do you think? Someone he knows or from an adoption centre maybe?" Kenji wonders

"Now that I think about it, it all makes sense. Maybe he's always late because he has to drop off his kids but the school is really far away and leaves early for the same reason." Junichirou thinks out loud.

"That's a good point, but then why was he early today?" Atsushi asks.

"Oh yeah, maybe the kid switched schools for some reason."

"Yeah maybe."

"Why is nobody talking about the fact that he's married, and to a man much less?" I ask everyone, earning five funny looks and a small smile from the president. "I mean, it doesn't matter but is no one surprised" nobody says anything, "at all? I mean you've all seen the way he flirts, and it's only ever with women." I look at their expressions and the sentence dies in my mouth.

Junichirou thinks for a second, "Well, it is surprising that he's married–"

"But to a man? To me at least he seemed like a total ladies man. It's just surprising is all, is it not?" I question again.

Immediately there's a "No." from Yosano

"Nope." adds Atsushi

"Nuh-uh." Kenji just keeps smiling

"Nah." Ranpo mumbles still eating snacks, enjoying the free drama.

The Tanazakis shake their heads.

"Really?" I can't believe this, "Did everyone but me know?"

"Yes." Yosano deadpans

"I mean, wasn't it obvious?" Ranpo shrugs popping another biscuit in his mouth

"It was, but Kunikida's just really straight." Yosano and Ranpo exchange a look of humour.

The entire office cracks up, even the president lets out a small chuckle

"And Dazai-san is still a massive flirt, married or not. His husband must hate it, I know I would absolutely lose it if Junichi even so much as looked at another girl." Naomi says (it sounds more like a purr) as she slides her hand up Junichirou's shirt. I look away quickly.

"Alright, everyone, I get it. Dazai is gay, and has an unknown number of children, let's all get back to work."

"He's bi actually." Ranpo laughs, I sigh and walk back to my desk leaving the cackling detective alone to be smug. "and his husband is a wonderful person."

Wait, what? Everyone whips around to face Ranpo (except for the president who's in his office) "You know him?"

"Not well, but we've met."

"Is he someone we all know?" Yosano asks

"You may have seen him but none of you really know him."

"Well that's helpful." the doctor rolls her eyes.

"Of course, happy to help."

"At least tell us how he looks." Atsushio pleads the genius detective

"Well, let's just say he stands out, you'd definitely notice him if you did see him."

Several groans and sighs echo around the room and we decide to give up . . . for now. Ranpo just smirks and goes back to snacking. (It's a wonder how his desk is so clean and that there's never a crumb on his paperwork)

Dazai’s P.O.V

I walk out the office door, thankful I built in extra time to my journey just in case something like that happend.

I hear Atsushi's voice as I head downstairs "Do you think that kid is alright, I mean, guys you can't forget that this is Dazai-san we're talking about." and something inside me wilts.

Why would they think I would make a good parent? I've never given them that impression but it still hurts me (extra because I know it's my own fault that they think that). I push the dark thoughts down and drive to Yokohama Primary School.

When I go to the front desk to fill the early check out form the desk clerk eyes my bandages and gives me a strange look, thankfully she says nothing.

"The nurse will bring your son from her office in a moment." She says, motioning for me to sit down on one of the padded folding chairs.

Nurse Kajimura brings Saku out and he immediately collapses into my arms. The nurse smiles a little and waves us goodbye. Saku is too tired to wave back so I pick him up and carry him back to the car.

On the way home I stop at the pharmacy and I call Chuuya to let him know that Saku is okay. He picks up on the first ring. I look back but Saku's passed out cold.

"Hay babe, I was just about to call you. I saw that the school called me earlier, is everything okay?"

"Mostly, Saku's sick, I had to pick him up because he vom–"

"Eww, no. I don't need to know every single detail."

"Aww, Chibi's so squeamish."

"Hey, I could kick your ass!"

"I know."

"Why'd you bring him to school sick anyway, dumbass?"

"Le gasssp! You're so mean, how was I supposed to know?"

"The fact that I even need to explain says a lot."

"He was fine when I dropped him off."

"Well, I'm just glad I'm not home, to catch whatever youth plague he has." I can practically see Chuuya wrinkling his nose in disgust on the other end of the line.

"Wow, do you not love us, to leave me all alone with a sick child."

"Okay I'm going to hang up now. Bye shitty mackerel."

Just as I'm at the checkout counter I see a new text: You have to get the children's medication. The one in the blue and green package.

I laugh and send: "I know, but it's so sweet that Chibi is worried."

He leaves me on read.

—----

It was easy enough to get Saku into bed but he just can't seem to fall asleep.

"Do you want some juice?"

He shakes his head, "Father, can you tell me a story?" he asks quietly

"Sure, what type of story."

"Hmmmm," he drags the word out, thinking for a moment, "How did you meet Papa?"

"Oh." I was not expecting that.

"Well, we used to work together."

"Where?"

"At a company."

"What type of company?"

"They, um, they work at the city's ports."

"Cool, what were you and Papa's jobs?"

Noo, please, Saku, I beg mentally, please go to sleep. "We were kind of like the managers."

"What's a manager?"

This is an easy enough question. "It's someone who goes out and makes sure everything's working alright and that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be, because the company won't work unless everyone works together." There a lesson in teamwork, now please go to sleep!

"What happens if someone isn't doing what they're supposed to be?"

Ummmm, they get tortured and possibly die, depending on the severity of the crime. "Oh, they get fired."

"What does fired mean."

Another easy question, "It means that they can't work for the company anymore."

"Oh, where do they work after they gte fired?"

Hevean. Hell? "I don't know, it's different for everybody."

He nods, "Did you get fired?"

"No, I left."

"Why?"

"It was a toxic work environment."

"What's . . ." he struggles to pronounce 'toxic work environment'.

"My boss wasn't very nice. He fired a friend of mine."

"That is mean, but what about Papa?"

"While we were working together I had fallen in love with Papa so we decided to stay together even after we had different jobs. A bit after that we got married and then we adopted you, and we're very happy. Now you need rest so you can feel better, go to sleep." I kiss him good night and leave the room before he can ask anymore questions, barely making it out of the room before bursting into laughter. Chuuya is definitely going to be pissed that he missed this.

(A/N: I also think that dazai having his kid call him Father is just the type of weird shit he would do. (Also because only Chuuya gets to call him Daddy, anyways))

[theuntoldoriginsoftheportmafia]

The Untold Origins of The Port Mafia

“War has a way of blackening all it touches, doesn’t it?” - Fukuzawa Yukichi

“True, but it is from the deepest of darkness that the brightest lights come” - Mori Ougai

Great roaring fires that blaze, bright and strong, choosing either to gently guide others into the light, a place of healing, or ignite a path through the dark and lead those same broken souls to victory, whatever sacrifice it may require.

-------------------------------------------------------------

This is a long fic. It is a semi-role swap AU that restarts canon by going back 15 years before the start of the main series and asking what would happen if Fukuzawa had joined Fukuchi when he was deployed to Tokoyami Island to fight in The Great War. Who would he have met? What would have become of him? And of Fukuchi?

Will a dark beginning lead to an even darker end?

Along the way Fukuzawa will meet a doctor, an angel, an author, a genius and many, many others. Read to follow their journeys as they twist and turn but eventually end up right where they're supposed to be.

-------------------------------------------------------------

TABLE OF CONTENTS

(all chapters are linked, just click on the one you want to go to. The ones without lines under them have no been posted yet.)

Part One - The War

Chapter 1.1 ❀ The Two Fukus ❀

Chapter 2.1 ⚔ The Battlefield ⚔

Chapter 3.1 正 The 356th Infantry Division 正

Chapter 4.1 ⚐ The End of The Great War ⚐

Part Two - The Doctor, The Butterfly & The Wolf

Chapter 1.2 ✾ The Sadness of Those With Wings ✾

Chapter 2.2 A Doctor and His Daughters Begin a New Life

Chapter 3.2 ♂ The Other Brother ♂

Chapter 4.2 🜛The Silver Wolf 🜛

Chapter 5.2 Mori Ougai and His Bodyguard

Part three - The Takeover

Chapter 1.3 ☜ The Child Detective ☞

Chapter 2.3 〜 The Boy In A Human Body 〜

Chapter 3.3 ☠ The Death of A Mafia Boss ☠

Part Four - The Port Mafia

Chapter 1.4 The World's Greatest Detective Does Consulting

Chapter 2.4 ⏲ Miles To Go ⏲

Chapter 3.4 ⚠ When Life Gives You Lemons . . . ⚠

Chapter 4.4 ✗ Who the hell is Edgar? ✗

Chapter 5.4 ⛼ The New and the Old ⛼

Chapter 6.4 The Many ＞The Few (Or the One)

Part Five - Escape

Chapter 1.5 ☽ The Hitman’s Dream ☾

Chapter 2.5 ♘ A Detective Must Be Armed ♘

Chapter 3.5 ䷸ Bandages & Coattails Flutter in the Wind ䷸

Part Six - The Armed Detectives Agency

Chapter 1.6 🜚🜛🜠🜜 Tachihara Shunzen’s Entrance Exam 🜜🜠🜛🜚

Chapter 2.6 ✎ The Matchless Maths Teacher ✐

Chapter 3.6 ✐ Kunikida Doppo’s Entrance Exam ✎

Chapter 4.6 🜡 Tachihara Michizou’s Entrance Exam 🜡

Part Seven - The Story Begins

Chapter 1.7 ⏴ The Black Lizard Attack Squadron ⏵

Chapter 2.7 ⛰ Disaster in Ihatovo . . . Almost ⛰

Chapter 3.7 ⚞ The Tale of The Man-Eating Tiger ⚟

Chapter 4.7 ❅ To Rescue A Demon ❅

Chapter 5.7 A Weretiger Worth (many times) His Weight In Yen

Chapter 6.7 The Book ✑

-------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted on my other blog @knockyasocksoff2022 where my other fics and BSD content are. I just felt like it deserved its own blog because it got so long and I want more people to see it because I'm really proud of it. Sorry if the summary was cringy af. I was trying to make it sound like a real book summary, and not give spoilers.

This fic is my baby, I've been working on it since January 2024. I wasn't even going to post this until it was done, but I'm lacking motivation and I want to know if people even like this so screw it!

There are 20 / 30 chapters finished right now, so if you'd like it finished pls, pls, pls leave comments and likes. I need motivation to continue.

Update schedule is whenever my brain gives me sudden bursts of inspiration, but comments always help me remember to keep going so those are very welcome.

PFP from: https://nmousesedits.tumblr.com/post/187968275018/x-free-to-use-source

Background from the flashback scene in the anime where Fukuchi is asking Fukuzawa to join the military with him but I got the screenshot itself from: https://iwritenarrativesandstuff.tumblr.com/post/728235003081834496/bird-symbolism-in-the-fukufuku-breakup-scene

[drarry-is-totally-cannon]

I have a few starts of blog notices I wish to announce. The first time visitors please note that . . .

I usually update my fics on Wattpad first, sometimes I forget to put them here and there is a bit of a time gap, so if you want to check if a story has been updated and it hasn’t been updated here, check my Wattpad account (under the user name Knockyasocksoff2022).

ABOUT THE BLOG:

This is a side blog!

I follow/like from my main blog @justmorebtsffs which I hardly use anymore because I joined Tumblr when I was really into BTS.

I will not be taking requests because I can barely focus on the stories I already have. Pls, keep me accountable for updating. If you’d like to ask about my ongoing works, pls do, it will help me remember to update them.

Want to see how an un-updated fic is doing, or see the formation of upcoming works? Check my FANFICTION STATUS TRACKER!

CONTENT:

Drarry Things

Mainly Fanfiction

Lots of reblogs

I'll probably make some memes, incorrect quotes, and HCs at some point.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS:

Drarry & The Goblet of Fire ( 4 / ? Chapters posted)

UPCOMING WORKS:

Drarry & The Prisoner of Azkaban

MAIN SHIPS: 

Drarry

Pansy Blaise (I won't talk about them much but they might be casually mentioned in some of my fics, idk yet)

There might be some Romione mentioned at some point as well.

There WILL NOT be any Ginny bashing on this blog, while I do not ship her and Harry, I don't hate her either. I doubt she will be mentioned much at all. I might reblog post dissing her and why her and Harry's relationship isn't great, but my own fics will never focus to much on that.

[the-greatest-detective-ranp]

https://www.tumblr.com/knockyasocksoff2022/742762771791413248/a-ranpoe-thought?source=share

canon or nah

canon, we're both bilingual in japanese and english

[cullen-cannons]

🌲Welcome Everyone 🌲

ABOUT ME:

♐️ Sagittarius

🐾 Cat + Dog Person

🍎 Team Edward

I usually update my fics on Wattpad first, sometimes I forget to put them here and there is a bit of a time gap, so if you want to check if a story has been updated and it hasn’t been updated here, check my Wattpad account (knockyasocksoff2022).

ABOUT THE BLOG:

This is a side blog!

I follow/like from my main blog @justmorebtsffs which I hardly use anymore because I joined Tumblr when I was really into BTS.

CONTENT:

MASTERPOST

Twilight Things

Mainly Reblogs (sorry)

Drabbles

Headcanons

X Readers

STORY HIGHLIGHT:

Hunger Games AU

Divergent AU

Want to see how an un-updated fic is doing, or see the formation of upcoming works? Check my FANFIC STATUS TRACKER!

[justmorebtsffs]

Taekook Hunger Games AU Character Profiles

(A/N: I’bv been working on writing and I know that I haven’t posted anything in a while so here you all go. I have Part One of the first chapter done so when I finish part two I’ll post them as a preview. I don’t uauly post fanfictions unless they’re completed so if you want to read it as I update it you can search it on wattpad. It’s called The Hunger Games | Taekook by Knockyasocksoff2022)

DISTRICT THREE:

Kim Taehyung

Occupation: Tribute

Gender: Male

Age: 19*

Weapon(s): Scythe, crossbow

Kim Namjoon

Occupation: Victor, Inventor, District 3 Mentor

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Sasha Perkins

Occupation: Student Tribute

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Weapon(s): Spear, throwing knives

Nathan Watts

Occupation: Victor, District 3 Mentor

Gender: Male

Age: 50

Kim Seokjin

Occupation: Singer, Fashion designer, D3 Tribute Escort

Gender: Male

Age: 30

DISTRICT TWO:

Jeon Jungkook

Occupation: Tribute

Gender: Male

Age: 17

Weapon(s): Double-edged Swords, knife, slingshot

Min Yoongi

Occupation: Victor, District 2 Mentor

Gender: Male

Age: 30

Fiona Heartly

Occupation: Tribute

Gender: Female

Age: 18

Weapon(s): Axe, dagger, darts

Amelia King

Occupation: Victor, District 3 Mentor

Gender: Female

Age: 22

Jeon Hoseok

Occupation: Rapper, District 2 Escort

Gender: Male

Age: 29

*For the purposes of keeping age ratios between taekook accurate I upped the reaping cut off to 19 years-of-age instead of 18.

Mentors of the other tributes won't be mentioned much but I put them here in case anyone was curios.

[justabtsblog]

Hi. Welcome.

I became an ARMY in August of 2022, best decision ever! 💜

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Soukoku’s Relationship In A Nutshell:

TRIGGER WARNING: HEAVY SWEARING!!!, Dazai typical su!c!de mentions!!!

CHUUYA: I fucking love you, you shitty beanpole, I would risk my life because I know you have my back you damn lazy idiot. I would die for you, you waste of bandages.

DAZAI: Ugh, my annoying Chibi, so mean but I still love my hatrack. Your my one and only dog and I would maybe hesitate on commiting su!c!de for you. (Translation: I would live for you)

CHUUYA: Alright, listen here makerel, you can’t kill yourself! We are sworn enimies and only I get to kill you, nobody else, not even you. You got that tacky bastard. I am going to be the one to kill you, not you. (Translation: Live for me, please.)

DAZAI: Tch, good dogs don’t attack their masters. (Translation: I will.)

CHUUYA: I’m not your damn dog, asshole! (Tranlation: Okay, good)

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Dancing with My Love

Hi! I’m back with yet another relationship reveal. This one has more plot though, I promise. (I meant to post this way earlier but I completley forgot lol)

under cut due to length (2,117 words)

Kunikida's Perspective

Tonight we're at an event space in between Port Mafia territory and our territory. It has most of us on edge, except that bastard Dazai, of course, he's as cool as a cucumber. Humming that damn suicide song of his. I've given up.

The purpose of the event space is to hold the ball that we, the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia are hosting as a celebration of peace.

(A/N: Totally not a Fukumori anniversary celebration in disguise)

I haven't seen the president all day. He said had an important meeting with Mori. The rest of us are in charge of the decorating and the Port Mafia are in charge of food and refreshments. The food will come in later but for now the decorating is done and it's almost time for the other guest to arrive.

"Everyone, excellent job with the decorations. You should do anything you need to get ready because everyone else will be here very soon." I tell them and they disperse to get change and so do I.

------------------------      A FEW MINUTES LATER      ----------------------

"Dazai! WHAT IS THAT!?" The words are out of my mouth before I've even fully processed the man's outfit.

"Oh, it's my outfit." He says casually.

I look round at everyone else in standard suits and Yosano and Kyouka in dresses, all appropriate black tie event attire. Not to say Dazai's isn't fitting of the style of the event but . . .

"Yes, but what is it?"

"Why Kunikida-kun, you don't know?" He's teasing me and I feel my fists clench at my sides.

"No, I do not."

"It's perfect attire for a ball." He spins around joyfully.

I know my opinion won't do anything for him anymore, he's just too far gone. "Whatever, just try not to be too weird."

"Keep your expectations realistic, Kunikida." Yosano whispers in my ear. I know she;s right but I had to say it anyway.

—-----------------------------

The ball has been going very well so far, everyone is peacefully eating, drinking and dancing. However the night is still young so I keep my guard up.

Chuuyas P.O.V.

We arrive a little later than everyone else. I would say we were being fashionably late but it was really because Koyou had to drag me out of hiding with the promise of expensive wine. Koyou swats me in the arm, clearly in disapproval of my bitter and distressed expression.

"Come on Chuuya, I refuse to let you seethe like a wet cat all night. You are going to have fun for god's sake."

"Ouch! Hey, you know I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for the wine."

"And a certain detective."

I just stop myself from punching the other executive in the arm by grabbing a glass of wine. She just smiles knowingly and walks off to mingle. I head over to the table with drinks and pour myself a glass of excellent smelling red, soon I find myself unconsciously scanning the crowd for the aforementioned detective.

Ah, there he—

Fuck!

What!? That tacky, sneaky, bastard! What!? How could he!? I at least deserve a warning first!!!!

I gulp down my wine and grab another glass while I attempt to control my mental sputtering. Normally I would take my time to appreciate the flavour but not tonight, right now I need lots of alcohol, as quickly as possible.

My husband stands next to Mori and Koyou, talking to Elise, the sight itself is unsurprising except for the fact that . . .

He's wearing a long flowing cape, the hood down so his face (and flawless black eyeliner) shows, the light making the hints of red in his deep brown eyes show. The cape is black with a silky looking red lining, and when he moves I see that underneath is a white dress shirt with a red ribbon to match the cape, and black pants that I assume are high waisted but I can't tell because . . . he's wearing a fucking corset. A corset! Who does that!? (Who does that and looks so good?) It's black with red stitching and trim, pulled tightly so that it shows off the gentle curve of his slim waist and hips.

I would say that I can't believe he would do this to me but I can. I sigh, swallowing my feelings with another glass of wine and head over to the group.

Why?

To ask my lovely husband for a dance, of course

Dazai's P.O.V.

The party is going well, my colleagues have drifted off to mingle, (I didn't miss that Atsushi and Ryūnosuke found each other, like magnets, almost immediately.) leaving me standing alone.

I hear small footsteps behind me, a swish of hair and a dress, then larger footsteps. Mori-san and Elise-chan.

My old boss greets me with a small smile and I return it. I can't help it, the satisfaction of my plan is just too much.

I allow myself to be temporarily occupied by Elies's complaining about the itchy dress Mori made her wear and how she wanted the red dress with black ruffles and not the red dress with black ruffles because she thought the former would match better with Mori-san's black suit and dark red dress shirt.

I agree with her as Koyou joins us. I can tell it's her by her footsteps as well. Elise jumps into her arms momentarily, for a hug.

We talk for a few moments before I find myself not paying attention, staring out at the rest of the room.

In the crowd I see Chuuya, as expected he's over at the wine table pouring himself a red into one of the fancy goblets that the Port Mafia brought. I go back to the conversation pretending not to pay my husband any mind.

I watch him from the corner of my eye. He's wearing the outfit I helped him pick, a custom tailored suit over a blood red dress shirt, a matching hat, with red stitching and trim and his favourite choker, which he refused to forfeit despite the formal nature of the occasion. I'm not complaining, I love it.

As I watch his eyes find me, and his expression changes so subtly most wouldn't notice it, but I do. His eyes widen a bit and his brows twitch. I keep my composure as he slugs down his wine (pun absolutely intended) and pours another even larger glass. He takes me in as he drinks eyes travelling discretely over my body, lingering on my torso. All part of my plan.

He drains the second glass, setting it on a table absently and walks confidently over to us.

Mori and Koyou smirk and busy themselves with small talk. A few of my colleagues, Kunikida and Yosano are staring, (Ranpo's too occupied with food and he already knows what's going on, he eats with Kyouka and Kenji, who's complimenting Gin on her pretty dress.), as well as several members of the port mafia.

He approaches us and stands directly in front of me, "May I have a dance, Osamu?"

"I suppose." I tease and he sweeps me up onto the dance floor. And then we're dancing. Moving in tandem with each other, perfectly in sink. Aware. Of each other, of Chuuya's hands on my back as they slip lower. Dancing with Chuuya is as easy as breathing. I feel the rest of the world melt away like ice on a summer day, slowly at first but then we're completely alone. I can't see anything but Chuuya. I don't want to see anything but Chuuya.

I break the silence first, whispering in his ears as we spin close to each other, "We must be drawing a lot of attention."

Chuuya just "hmms" then adds, "Probably because you wore that stupid thing."

"Ahh, it is not stupid, oh sorry, I forgot that dogs are known for their lack of taste." As I finish the sentence I feel my feet leave the ground, and my entire body becomes light.

"Chuuya?" His name comes out breathy, I feel my heartbeat and breathing quicken.

He wraps his arms around my waist, the warm weight a contrast to the cool airy feeling of Chuuya's anti gravity. "Just hold on to me."

"Always."

"And don't activate No Longer Human, or we'll both fall." We're floating probably eight or so metres off the ground now but the event space's ceilings are high and I know Chuuya knows what he's doing.

Dancing up here is worlds different, we move so much more freely and the music sounds cleaner and closer but at the same time like we're underwater, it's not a bad feeling. We dance for a while more, I don't think I could ever get used to this.

"You can let go now." Chuuya says

"What?" I wouldn't mind suicide like this but his words surprise me, he's never been encouraging of my attempts.

"Trust me, Osamu. Let go."

I do. The weight leaves my body completely. I'm afraid for a second that I'll drift off but I don't. I stay exactly where I am. I twirl experimentally and the movement feels exactly the same as it would on the ground, I'm completely in control, like there's an invisible floor beneath me.

A child-like laugh leaves my lips, as I climb invisible stairs and turn back flips all the way back to Chuuya. I'm aware that I'm being immature and that everyone's probably watching but I don't care.

The last time we did this was a time I'd rather forget. But Chuuya's actions made it unforgettable. I hadn't thought about it in a very long time.

Suddenly Chuuya pulls me back to him so close the people below probably think we're kissing, not that I mind. I want him to kiss me, to have his gentle lips, hot against my own. He leans into my neck, whispering in my ear, "Do you know what that stupid corset is doing to me, what you're doing to me?"

I remember the garment I'm wearing and my original intent with a giggle, "Of course, that's exactly why I wore it."

The look in his eyes is not amused but hungry, "In that case . . ." he presses his lips to my own pulling me even closer. I can feel him taking back control of my gravity and I let him, this is after all, what I wanted, "why don't we give them a scene, then?"

I nod almost too slightly but he feels it and continues. When we stop to breathe and I take my chance to pull him close to me. It's amazing, kissing like this. I don't even have to bend down. "Mmm, bet Chibi likes being tall doesn't he?"

Chuuya just growls and continues more forcefully, biting my lip.

"Bad dog!"

He pulls away, a testing smile on his lips, "No kisses if you're going to insult me."

"So sensitive slug, master was just joking."

He leans in again, "Yeah but we should probably stop, I don't want to scandalise Kyouka. And aren't some of your coworkers basically kids?"

"Awww, Chibi's so responsible."

The imaginary bubble disappears and I can see the other party guest again. They all look appropriately shocked as Chuuya floats back to the ground, carrying me bridal style.

Kunikida looks like he's about to explode, oh right. He's the only member of the agency who still thinks I'm straight, well thought.

I look around the room unable to keep the smile off my face, "What?" no one says anything, I can hear Ranpo munching on a chocolate bar he brought and the sound of flipping pages of the book that the president's reading. They both know about our relationship already. The president found out from Mori when I was still in the Port Mafia and Ranpo deduced it shortly after I joined the Agency, although he never guessed that I worked there. . "We're married." Chuuya and I speak at the same time.

Chaos breaks out across the room. I can feel Chuyya tugging my arm, clearly wanting more, I do too. "Now excuse us, we have to go." he informs the now rowdy crowd.

It isn't the quiet slipping away we'd hoped for but it works as well as anything. "Yeah, we're leaving." Chuuya grabs a bottle of wine and we both dash out of the venue, excitement building as we run.

He looks back, meeting my gaze. I see myself in his eyes, someone I like. This me that's happy, this me that can be with the one I love, this me that is capable of love . Chuuya and I both know that we'll have huge messes to clean up at work but for now, we only have each other, and that's all I could ever ask for.

(A/N: Writing this inspired me to make a one shot of they're first time dancing together, so expect that out soon.)

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Snowstorm

under the cut due to length (1,177 words)

Dazai's P.O.V.

There's a bang and I turn around. It's a branch slapping the window and I watch for a moment as the wind swirls outside snow slowly joining it. I sigh, I'm going to have to walk home in this.

"Everyone!" The president's voice isn't very loud but it's a small office and everyone, including myself, turns to listen to him. Having our attention, he continues, "There is going to be a heavy snowstorm in a few hours. If we stay here we will all be snowed in and unable to leave until the snow can be ploughed. In order to prevent that I am ending working hours early. The snow is falling heavily and quickly, I suggest that you all return to your homes within the hour. If you do not have a car, ask someone to come and pick you up."

Everyone sets into motion immediately, picking up phones and dialling rides, grabbing car keys and within a few minutes I'm the only one not ready to go. I took the bus today because Chuuya is out on important Mafia business and couldn't drive me. The bus station is 7 blocks away and I really, really, really don't want to walk.

No, I am not going to bother Chuuya. I am not going to be a nuisance. I won't. I can't. I promised not to call him while he was working unless I was ill or injured and I am neither so I will walk, and I will be fine.

I walk to the door and get ready to leave, it opens before I even have my hand on the door knob.

"Hey honey." the redhead before me teases, using one of the nicknames he claims to hate so much.

"Ch-Chuuya?" I stutter stupidly, stumbling backwards with surprise.

"Don't freak out mackerel, I'm not the damn king." He teases again, placing an arm around my waist, making sure I don't fall.

"W-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be- I thought you were at work?" I hate the way I'm blushing and stuttering like an idiot. Even after being married to Chuuya for so long I'm still not used to people going out of their way for me. Sure the agency is very nice and all of the members are my friends but I know that I am the least close to everyone in the agency and our relationship is mostly professional.

"Are you kidding? The storm's all over the news. I'm not about to make you take public transit in this weather. The buses and trains have already just shut down."

All I can say is a lame, "Oh."

"Yeah, so come on. My car's just down the street."

"Okay." I know I'm still blushing, touched by the surprise visit.

"And I didn't have time to go back home so I couldn't bring your puffy coat but there are some blankets in the car." He nods disapprovingly to my trench coat.

As we walk out the door, someone grabs my arm. I look over my shoulder and realise everyone else has been watching us, and they seem to have gotten over their shock.

Chuuya's P.O.V.

As I'm about to close the door Glasses man grabs Osamu's arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asks furiously.

"I was just about to ask the same thing."

"You can't take him, the Port Mafia can't have him."

I almost laugh, Osamu chuckles.

"Kunikida, please let go of me." he says calmly, wriggling free of the older man's grip.

He steps back. "What exactly is going on here?"

Osamu's cute shy expression vanishes, replaced with his typical silly demeanour. "My husband is just picking me up, so I don't have to stay snowed in at the office." Then his expression turns slightly colder, more reminiscent of his mafia days. "I suggest you also leave . . . unless you want to get snowed in, that is." Glasses's expression turns to shock, he hears the implicit threat in my husband's voice and words.

"H-h-husband?" he says quietly

I really do laugh this time. "Yup, for 7 years." I look over at Osamu, who's still glaring, "Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to get home before the storm gets bad. Have a nice afternoon."

As I close the door I see Mr. Glasses expression unfreeze slowly from shock into something that seems to be a mix of fury, confusion and sheer panic. By the time I hear him start to shout we're already in the car. (but I swear I can hear glass breaking as few dogs starting to bark at the raucous)

Osamu's laughing like a maniac beside me and I can't help joining him. "Poor baby, you're going to get an earful when you get back to work."

He just laughs harder, "I know, but . . . his face! It was worth it."

"Totally agree, what do you want for dinner tonight."

"I don't know, I can't think, I can't stop laughing. He's probably exploded by now."

By the time we both stop laughing we're back home.

—

As I make dinner I feel a warm weight settle on my waist and turn around. Osamu has attached himself to me.

"Yes." I say, prompting him to continue because I can tell there's something he wants to ask me.

"Thank you for coming to get me at the office today." I can hear the gratitude and sincerity in his voice and it surprises me. I'd expected him to call me a good dog for rescuing me master or whatever, but not this.

"Of course, I'm a bit upset that you didn't call me though. I got worried, I thought you might;ve tried to walk home by yourself in all the snow. I mean come on, it seems exactly like the type of stupid shit you would do."

"I didn't want to bother you, I could've walked, you didn't have to interrupt your conference for me." He says, I sigh, I really wish he could stop feeling this way. Like every normal kind thing I do is monumental, like something every good person wouldn't do for their significant other. And I hate every single one of the things that made him feel that way.

"Don't. I wanted to come and get you, I'm the one who should feel guilty. I should;ve made sure you had a car today. Annnd," I drag out the 'and', running my free hand through his thick hair, "I was dying in that conference, you hear that, you saved your dog from dying."

He smiles and steals a piece of the food I'm cooking.

"Hey! That was all for food wasn't it!" I tease even though I know it wasn't. "Tch! It'll be done in less than five minutes. OUT! If you're just gonna steal, out!" He runs away with a comical look on his face.

What a day it's been! And there's still Mr Glasses to contend with. I should ask Osamu to record his reaction.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

An Unexpected Visit | Soukoku

Summary: In wich a certain ginger gets a visit from his (maybe high) boyfriend. Chuya has reputation to protect and feelings get hurt.

Now complete! (3,387 words)

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Nosy Akutagawa's Perspective

Mori-san told me to go find Chuya. He needs him for a strategy meeting. I spot the ginger smoking in the alley way.

As I'm approaching him I see that someone else is behind him . . . Dazai! I want to do something but then I decide that, it broad daylight, why not let this play out?

Chuya seems to hear the other man and turns,

"Is there something you need?" He asks rather formally. If it wasn't Dazai he was talking to I'd swear he must be teasing.

Chuuya's Perspective

I turn to the detective, he was quiet. I almost hadn't heard him coming, almost. "Is there something you need?" I ask hoping to remind him it's still Port Mafia business hours. He doesn't seem to care.

"Just your heart . . ." He says and I'm about to scold him for being so affectionate in such an open place, or take his temperature. He must not be in his right mind to come and do this. All these thoughts only take a second and I'm about to say them out loud when he continues, "Chibikko."

The pet name sends and involuntary shiver down my spine and his beautiful voice does strange things to my heart.

Now Eavesdropping Akutagawa's Perspective

"Chibikko." The detective says.

I flip the word over in my mind, it means, small child but something about the way he said it . . . it tugs at me. And I swear I see Chuya shiver. His eyes flash dark blue for a second then back to normal.

"Not here dumbass!" He hisses

"Aww!"

"Stop pouting! You're acting like the little kid," the detective pouts dramatically, "and what are you doing over here anyway, I know you had a mission but this is way into the Port Mafia's territory?"

"I'm taking a sick day." The taller says

The shorter man's eyes immediately fill with worry. "Are you sick?"

What's going on here? That detective must be harassing Chuya. I take out my phone and call for backup.

Chuuya's Perspective

"Maybe?"

I take that as a no.

He steps closer, "What's wrong with me coming to visit my lovely boyfriend while he's at work? Hmm."

I step back, "I said not here you piece of shit! What's gotten into you? Huh?"

He doesn't answer, "Answer me before I have security escort you out!" I say raising my voice in hopes of reminding him I'm still at work.

He doesn't seem to take the hint. "You wouldn't do that."

"You think?" I say I can already here people coming to investigate the noise.

He steps closer, he's trying to kiss me, and oh how I want it, how very much I want his warm lips on mine . . . but I have a part to play.

"Get off me you tacky bastard! Before I rip your throat out!"

"I just want to give you a little kiss."

"I'm not your boyfriend, you pathetic social misfit waste of bandages."

He looks confused, like a lost puppy. A few of the mafia's soldiers round the corner.

"Is everything alright here boss?"

"No. Shitty Dazai has gotten himself intoxicated and is harassing me. Please escort him to a gutter somewhere his do-gooder colleagues won't  find him."

I watch as they drag him off hopefully he won't be to mad. But he doesn't look mad, I can see tears blooming in his eyes dripping down his cheeks.

Dazai’s Perspective

The mafia soldiers yank the bag bag off my head and throw me down. I say tucked into a ball until I can't hear them anymore.

I can't help the tears, he doesn't love me, I knew it. I knew I wasn't good enough, I knew it was to good to be true. This just confirms it.

He obviously wants me gone, he threatened to call security on me. His words echo inside my head bouncing off and reverberating back again, getting louder, and louder and louder, until I can't stand it anymore.

"Get off me you tacky bastard! Before I rip your throat out!"

"I just want to give you a little kiss."

"I'm not your boyfriend, you pathetic social misfit waste of bandages."

I curl into as small a form as I can. The ropes rub on my wrists but I don't fight the pain, I deserve it for being stupid enough to think that I was ever enough for Chuya. I can hear the clap of thunder and soon rain pounds on the roof. I'd thought it was solid but apparently not because soon I'm soaked. I don't care, I deserve it.

A small part of me hopes Chuya will come for me soon. I call it pathetic and tell it to shut up. I can't take this anymore, I never wanted to die in pain. Sitting up I twist my hand just enough to slip out of the knot, once my hands are free I easily untie my feet and set off to search for something sharp.

In this old steel warehouse it doesn't take long to find a good shard, and when I test it against the rope it slices cleanly through. Perfect.

Something stops me, "Wait just a little bit longer" the voice says, "he will come for you"

"Maybe" I whisper into the darkness

I decide to wait, if he does show up I want to at least yell at him first before I go. I try to imagine what I'll say to him but it's too exhausting so I just curl up again.

               ******************** LATER THAT NIGHT ********************

Chuuya's Perspective

It's raining now, but I don't worry too much because Dazai knows how to get back to our shared house. When I get there I expect him to be waiting to yell at me, but the house is silent. His shoes aren't by the door. Shit!

I turn around and head back out. I know where they stashed him. When I arrive at the warehouse it's still and silent . . . almost. I can hear soft sobs coming from a corner.

I move aside a rusty metal shelf and find him. When I see him only one thing comes to mind. What have I done?!

Ropes lay at his feet, he untied himself but didn't come home, what?

"You came for me." he says, but it sounds more like a question. His cheeks are wet with tears.

"Of course I did." I say trying to lift him up but he pulls away.

"Why."

"What do you mean why? Because I love you, dumbass. Now get up, let's go home."

"But you said you don't love me anymore." The tears are coming faster now.

"No, I never said that." I try to calm him but it isn't working.

"You said I'm not your boyfriend."

Oh.

What should I say, I can't deny I said it and he's in no state to understand why I had to lie.

He's full on bawling now, I have to quiet him down before someone hears us. I clamp a hand over his mouth but he only wails harder.

"Dazai, I love you. But you have to stop crying." It's hardly the most comforting sentiment but I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment. "Please just come with me and I promise I'll jump into the river with you tomorrow."

This gets his attention. He looks at me and I nod confirming my words. On the way home he passes out and I end up carrying him, he's frighteningly light

When we get home I grab the first aid kit. I'm still carrying him and we end up in the bathroom. I lay him on the tile floor and inspect the wounds. He's dead to the world and I unwrap the bandages on his wrists and ankles. By the time I'm done cleaning and dressing his cuts it's past midnight. He's still asleep so I tuck him in making a mental note to wash the sheets.

He'll probably be hungry when he gets up so I start dinner and wash up while it's cooking. When I go to our room to get my pyjamas he's still passed out.

As I dish a portion for myself I hear him stir. Immediately I'm at his side. He looks confused.

"Osamu, it's okay, I'm here." I say running my fingers through his thick brown hair.

"You" I brace myself for the anger, "You cleaned my cuts?" He asks, he looks out of it, like he's here but not really.

"Of course" I say, not really getting what he means, "why wouldn't I?"

"You didn't have too, I know you don't love me, you should have left me to be someone else's problem. I don't want to be your burden anymore."

"What!? NO, NO, NO!"

"It's okay Chuya I don't deserve you, I always thought you should find somebody better. I'm happy. I don't want to trouble you anymore." He says it plainly but I can see the sorrow hidden away deep in his eyes. His eyes are glassy, whatever drugs he took must not be quite out of his system yet.

"But Osamu, what about what I want?" He doesn't really believe that I could ever stop loving him, does he? "What if I want you to be my problem? No, no actually you're not a problem to me. I love you. I want to care for you. Always." I can feel small tears welling. It's so stupid, "I love you, Dazai Osamu I love you!"

"You do?" He asks, sounding like a child.

"Yes, so much, more than anything." I tell him.

He still looks out of it but I decide not to push him any farther.

"I made us dinner, it's not crab but it's that chicken that you like. Do you think you can eat any."

"No."

I do't want to pester him any so I put away the food and we both fall asleep.

--- --- --- ---

I wake up not hurt by the coldness on the other side of the bed. I always get up after Dazai. (he has insomnia).

But I get worried when I don't find him in the kitchen. Then I hear the water running. Oh . . . no, no, no!

I skid into the bathroom and see Dazai's clothes strew around the floor. Theman himself is sitting in the bath. His head is almost under the water but I can still see the tears dripping down his face. Making a light 'plink' sound when they hit the red water. His bandages are stained and coming loose causing the blood to taint the water.

"Yah! Mackerel. What are you doing." I hope he hears the surprise and concern in my voice and not just the scolding. I do feel slightly betrayed that he's tried to kill himself again.

He doesn't respond, slipping further into the water. I grab him by the shoulders and drag him up again, trying not to flinch when I feel how cold it is.

He gasps and coughs violently, the tears come faster now. Fuck! It's been nearly a minute and the coughing fit still sounds strong. Finally it cuts off with a sob.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here." I hold him close to me not caring if I get soaked. He clings to me still crying a bit.

I want to beg him to tell me why he would try to leave me like this, but I know that it would do no good. "Do you want to tell me what happened? We don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to though."

He shakes his head against me.

"Okay, that's okay. I need to move though, so I can get you new bandages."

He shakes his head again but lets me go.

"Let's at least get you into some warm clothes."

I know he's not alert enough to change so I bring him pyjamas and a jumper and help him get dressed. He's still staring off into space only snapping back to attention to sneeze. (And they say idiot's don't catch colds.)

-----

After I finish making breakfast (pouring cereal filling bowls with milk) I sit down next to Dazai.

"You had a bath last night, why did you want to take a shower again this morning?" I ask gently, remembering how I cleaned his wounds last night and holding his slim frame against my own. I wish we could be more open about our relationship, if only, if only, if only.

"I was so cold. I thought a hot shower would help, but-" He sighs and sniffles.

"It's okay." I whisper. Normally I would be angry at him for getting himself sick like this but it was hardly his fault and I can't bear to scold him when he's in a state like this. "I'm here now. Don't worry." I kiss the top of his head, "I'll never leave you." I add un-necessarily, wincing out of habit at the sappy mood I've created.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Looking at him I can say the word with absolute certainty, "until death do us part, not even then."

He raises an eyebrow at my choice of words, I don't regret it. I could never regret anything when it comes to him, except leaving him.

—

After we finish eating I get him to take medicine. The sad part being I don't have to get him to do anything. He takes it willingly. He's not even whining about how bad he feels, he must be feeling awful.

The medicine makes him sleepy and he passes out on the couch. I carry him bridal style back to bed, just as I'm about to close the door he mumbles something. Is he awake?

"Chu - Chuuya~"

"Yes?" I turn around, he's still very much asleep, arms outstretched in my direction.

"Chuuya snuggle with me~~!"

I obey, and slip under the covers. "If I get sick, you mackerel . . . " but there's no malice in it at all.

A few minutes later when I myself have just about drifted into sleep, I feel him sob against me and he sits straight up.

"Chuuya!" He's not awake.

"I'm right here, Osamu, right here. Go back to sleep." I touch his arm but he only continues to sob.

He only whispers now. "Chuuya! Don't leave me, I'm sorry, don't leave me. I'm sorry, please don't leave me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry~~" The tears fall like waterfalls down his delicate cheeks. "I'm sorry I called you a midget, a simpleton, the petite mafia, a hatrack and a slug! I won't ever do it again. I promise, I promise, I promise. Just please don't leave me." I shake him but he doesn't wake, instead reaching his arms in the opposite direction of me.

His voice is barely audible now. "I know I'm not good enough or good for anything but please, just please. I'm begging you, please stay. I-I" his voice cracks as he reaches out blindly. "I c-can't lose you!. PLEASE!"

"Osamu!" I yell "I'M RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!" I force my voice as loud as it will go. He wakes, tilting his head in my direction and looks at me with big teary doe eyes.

He may be awake, but I can't tell how lucid he is. I press my hand against his cheek and the warmth makes me frown. A fever dream. Osamu gives a hiccuping sob and then quiets down, still not quite opening his eyes but I think he can feel my presence.

"Yeah, it's okay, I'm here, it's okay. You're okay, we're okay. Everything is okay." I know my words of comfort don't exactly make sense, because nothing about anything is usually ever "okay" with us but he understands I mean RIGHT NOW. This present moment.

He nods slightly, then opens his mouth as if to say something, but shuts it.

"What is it, Osamu?"

He shakes his head.

"Please, I want to know." I ruffle his hair as I say the words and he leans into my touch.

"D-do . . . Do you really really really truly love me, Chuuya? You don't think I'm annoying or desperate or insane."

His question, words said with uncertainty between sad sniffles, shocks me, breaking my heart. "No, you're not desperate, I was the one who fell so miserably for you. Of course I love you. And let me tell you something," I move closer kissing his ear as I whisper, "I'm insane too, and I want to spend the rest of my life being annoyed by you, and annoying you right back. I can't imagine what I'd do without you.

Who would remind me of how short I am when I get too cocky? Who would kick my arse at arcade games? Who would reach the tall shelves at the supermarket? Who would I give my coat to when they get too cold? Who would look so cute wearing my hat? Who would I call a mackerel, a beanpole, a tacky bastard? Who's bandages would I take when I'm hurt? Who would I use all my free time worrying about? Who would have my back in a fight? Who would bring me back when I feel I'm losing myself?" I feel myself tearing up as pictures of a world without Osamu fill my mind, "I love you, okay, and I don't want to be in a world without you. And if you ever leave me I'll be right behind you, to haunt you. I Love you so damn much I don't know what to do with all that love, and I'm sorry if I don't always show it, it's just because I feel so much. So please stay, stay here with me, stay with me forever, okay."

Osamu just stares at me and the air is thick with my confession and our feelings for nearly three minutes, then, "Is- Is Chuuya proposing to me?"

His question makes me freeze, I think about the ring I've kept hidden away in my office. A silver band with a blue teardrop sapphire. I want so badly to put it on his finger now, I might as well admit it. " . . . I planned something fancier but–"

Before I can finish my senctece, Osamu's arms are clamped around me. This isn't what I'd expected. I'd always imagined he'd put on some drastic show and squeal and jump and cry fake tears. But now he just holds me tightly as if he's the one who has to worry about me slipping away, and his tears are very real. I can hear him muttering softly, "Yes." into my shoulder. My heart feels light but at the same time satisfyingly heavy with love.

We sit like this for a while, the only sound Osamu's poorly stifled coughs, I don't even mind.

"Can I wear it?" He asks, his voice muted by illness.

"Hmm?"

"The ring. You do have one, don't you, silly Chibi?" He sounds comically sceptical, even through the congestion.

"Of course I do, mackerel. But you can't sleep in it, you'll poke yourself, and besides it's in my office." Osmau frowns. "Hey, don't pout. I had a nice dinner picnic planned for us. It isn't my fault you decided to enact one of your silly schemes."

He grins mischievously, I kiss him again and grab my phone from the side table.

When he sees the photo his eyes widen, and he stares for a moment then hugs me again. He must be trying to squeal but only a rasp comes out and a stuffy, "I'm going to annoy you forever Chibi!!!"

My face breaks into a smile, the tension crumbling away, "I'm starting to gather that."

And when our lips meet, it feels like a new beginning.

Epilogue:

Something wakes me, a poke in the back. I turn over and Dazai's face is only a centimetre from mine. "Ah, jesus! What the hell?"

"Chibi, can ghosts haunt each other?"

"What, it's like 3:00 AM, why do you care anyway?"

"Exactly, the cursed hour, the perfect time to talk about ghosts, Chibi, didn't you know?"

Damn insomniac!

"Do you really believe in that stuff? You know what, never mind. Go back to sleep, you're ill, you need to rest." I emphasise the last word.

"But earlier, you said if I did way with myself then you'd come an haunt me. But wouldn't I be a ghost? So how would you haunt me?"

"Go. To. Sleep."

He gasps, and curls tighter next to me, "Ne Chuuya's such a buzzkill!"

I don't know if he says anything else, I'm already falling into slumber again.

(A/N: Did I make you cry? If I did, I'm sorry. I don't think this is a tear worthy story but idk. Sorry about the bad ending.)

[knockyasocksoff2022]

What do you all think of a Bungou Stray Dogs Idol AU?

J-Pop Idol AU: when two rival companies PM entertainment and ADA entertainment are forced to merge can the leads to the two star groups get along?

MEET THE CHARACTERS: Mischievous leader with a depressing past Dazai Osamu of The Detectives Edogawa Ranpo Mayazawa Kenji Nakajima Atsushi Yosano Akio And their strict but loyal (and very tired) manager Kunikida Doppo Company President: Fukazawa Yukichi ---------- Strong willed leader with true passion for music Nakahara Chuya of The Mafia Akutagawa Ryunosuke Akutagawa Gin And their slightly obsessed and majorly over stressed manager Higuchi Ichiyō Company President: Mori Ogai

Reblog/like/comment if you think I should write this idea.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

“Don’t make me get violent.”

(A/N: This came to me so suddenly while I was listening to Violent by carolesdaughter for the first time. It’s kind of rushed and probably out of character and I may edit later but her you all go. Also I intended to make the violence more graphic but I wanted to keep it detahced and I’m not that good at wrting graphic violence yet.)

under the cut due to length (733 words)

Summary: Chuuya’s journey into savagery after Dazai leaves the Mafia. (Kind of an AU I guess)

Chuuya’s Perspective

Everything is going to be different now. They’ll give me some new partner. I’ll get my pick, but I already know none of them will compare, no matter how good they are. None of them will be him. He’s gone, leaving problems in his wake like usual. And I don’t even have the energy to hate him anymore.

Alarms are going off, blazing red but I can’t make myself move. They’ll come and get me if I’m really needed. I just sip my wine and watch the sunset. Red, orange and yellow like the flames that consumed my car as he walked out on me. I guess it’s good because I would’ve gone after him, and he knew it. Not now though, now I can’t imagine even bothering to leave my office for him, I know I would though. I’d still do anything for him, if I thought it would make him come back and I hate it, but I don’t.

Everything moves in slow motion as the door shudders and falls in. 10 men sloppily thrown together black tactical gear. They wear patches with letter E’s spray painted on them. A wannabe terrorist group, I don’t care. I couldn’t bring myself to listen in the last meeting. It doesn’t matter who they were, because they’re here now, and they’re going to die. (It’s bound to end this way, it always does, canvas stained in some shade of red.)

I get up slowly, giving them a chance to run, “Don’t make me get violent.” It comes out as a sigh.

They start shooting. Round after round until the floor is made of spent shell casing. It does nothing as my instincts kick in. For me it happens in slow motion, I watch numbly, as another version of myself charges the naive boys. They’re down before they can fight back.

I watch as I don’t stop.

One of them moves slightly and I kick him back down and keep kicking him, until we’re both stained red and there isn’t a single bone in his body left to break.

I’m not done, they disturbed my only peace and now they’re going to die, every last one of them. It isn’t rage that fills me, just an empty hole, growing larger, leaving nothing, looking to be filled. And these deaths have to be personal, because he left me and these boys “terrorists” are still here, causing me trouble. I want him to be causing me trouble. (But now I’m alone and it’s too peaceful, too quiet, too still, too empty.) I take the nearest and twist his limbs in funny directions until I hear the snaps, and then I keep twisting. Chunks of flesh fall to the ground with wet squelches, splashing the room in red. Spilt wine.

I just want to finish my wine. When they no longer resemble humans I come back to myself. Staring at the wreckage around me. The room is tinted red but I know the mangled lumps won’t disturb me again.

My hands are painted red and sticky and leave smeared fingerprints on the bottle. My reflection is savage against the darkening sky. But I can’t make myself care.

A groan of satisfaction leaves my lips as I sip my wine. I taste the red alcohol, strangely metallic, corrupted by the rusty scent of the room, but it’s not bad. It’s refreshing. And for the first time since he left I can see colour again.

I sit back down, leaning back in my chair, my bloodied feet over the bloodied desk. A fine day in a fine city. I don’t need him, if I can have this, this I can live with. If the way to feel something again is violence then so be it.

And even when they come in to clean it up the shock and horror on their faces, it will all be worth it. I know it will. Are you happy with what you’ve done, Dazai Osamu? I am.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

No Longer Human: Poem by Dazai Osamu

Slowly falling down, down, down

I descend into insanity

Desperate for attention

So I become

A CLOWN

What am I if not funny?

What is my use if I cannot amuse?

The things I say

Become more and more insincere

Psychotic things, delusional things, delirious things

Pushing me farther and farther

away from myself

the farther I get, it seems

the more I am liked, accepted as something that cannot be changed so it must be accepted.

a miserable way to live in society

but

at least I am allowed to stay

living on the fringes

ALONE

Until

I can no longer recognise

the creature

I have become

Like an animal in a circus

I have made myself exist to entertain

I can’t stop now

a sudden change

and I

would lose everything

Everyone

they would realise

that I am a liar, a snake, not to be trusted

for now I allow the scales of madness to hide me

They see me as a joke

I am sure of it

a source of laughter

The witty remarks that come so easily

after all this time

This is the way

I keep myself afloat

If I stop . . .

I shall surely drown

I fall deeper

I lose myself

to satisfy their demand

the demands that I think they have

the demands I have for myself

Bit by bit

I break down

and reassemble myself

until I am such

a patchwork of personalities

that I can’t find

the real me

(if there is one) anymore

I look deep inside myself

I am LOST

But do I want to be found?

What if I don’t like what I find?

What if it isn’t good enough?

Is this good enough?

Can I be content with just good enough?

Am I willing to try to be more than just good enough?

Could I be more than just good enough?

Or am I just like this . . .

forever wandering

adrift

through space

unable to force myself to

exist on this plane

Maybe I am writing this because

I cannot fathom myself

The fact that

this IS myself

The fact thatI have such an

Atrocious

Loud

Insensitive

Self degrading 

personality

If this is true . . .

what kind of man

what kind of human

Am I . . .

[knockyasocksoff2022]

🎻 Violinist Dazai 🎶

Kunikida's Perspective:

I take the nearly metre tall stack of paper and divide it evenly into half. There, perfect. Picking up the stack I walk down the hall to that bandaged freeloader's office, only to find that he isn't there. Ahrg! Where's that sorry waste of bandages gone off to now?

Now I'm stuck carrying a half metre tall stack of paper that must weigh at least 4 kilos. This is not ideal at all.

Trying to stay calm I set the stack on that rascal's desk and scream as loudly as I can: "daZAI OSAMUUU! Get Back To Work THIS INSTANT YOU IMP!"

Not surprisingly he doesn't answer, and everyone but the bandaged boy comes rushing over to see what the commotion is about.

"Looking for Dazai again?" Edogawa says wearing his usual playful smirk.

"Yes!" I say sharply, "Has anyone seen him?"

They all shake their heads and I sigh heading off to look for the disgraceful lad.

Yet after nearly an hour of searching every crack and crevice in the building he's still nowhere to be found. Finally I give up but just as I pass the stairwell #5 I hear something. A beautiful melody twisting and bending and arcing around, erratic yet controlled, at the same time. I'm getting nowhere in my search for Dazai so I may as well investigate this, I follow the sound into the stairwell. Stairwell #5 only leads to one place . . . the roof.

Dazai's Perspective:

The melody that was woven out of the silence changes abruptly under my fingers, which now move of their own accord leaving my brain to think in peace. Maybe today I'll find it, what I'm searching for. The one perfect note, the thing that's will give meaning to my existence.

I hear a heavy tread behind me . . . Kunikida! But alas my search will have to wait until later. I switch to playing one of my favourite pieces. Death Waltz, naturaly. I turn to face my boss he just stares open-mouthed.

He opens his mouth then closes and opens again, trying to speak but nothing comes out. He regains his composure and 'harrumphs'. "Well who would've thought a lazy rag-a-mummy like you could make such beautiful music. Anyway I expect the paper work to be done by the end of the day or I'll personally have you tossed out by your ears."

And just like that he leaves, I should be surprised but I can't bring myself to care. The notes are the only thing that keep me sane. The melody drifts again until I'm playing Chuya's favourite piece.

Kunikida's Perspective:

I can't help but be in shock. The violin of all things, one of the most difficult instruments to play. I can't imagine him having the discipline to actually practise, or for that matter that any teacher would want to take him.

I leave quickly, not even remembering to call him a 'useless freeloader' or a 'sorry waste of good bandages'. I don't want to disturb the peace. Yes that's how he looked, up there on that roof, peaceful. In fact I've never seen him look so calm, different from his focus (or lack thereof) on a difficult case, a searching kind of expression. Like he was searching deep inside himself.

What he is looking for, I can't imagine, but if he's found something he seems to care about more deeply than even suicide with some pretty woman, then I won't be the one scold him for it.