#Leigh Shaw x y/N

[fandomnerd9602]

Leigh: (giggles) shut up

Y/N: no it’s true. You look like a beautiful flower filled goddess right now.

Leigh: you’re so corny

Y/N: aw shucks…get it?

Leigh smiles and shakes her head…

Leigh: why do you always make me laugh?

Y/N: cause I want to make you smile. I love you, Shaw. I want you to be happy.

Leigh takes their hand…

Leigh: every moment I’m with you I am

For @lifespectator

[gingiesworld]

I Am Not Matt

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Unhappy ending

18+ MINORS DNI

Taglist : @mothertoall2 @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @reginassweetheart @machyishere @gemz5 @pawiie @duckiekong (If you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

Ever since Y/N had come into Leigh’s life, she had finally started to believe that she could move on, move past the grief that swallowed her whole. Y/N had always surprised her with flowers when they came home from work, took her out on spontaneous dates and even cooked her her favourite meal. Even though those gestures made Leigh see just how lucky she was to have such an attentive partner, she slowly started to withdraw herself from the relationship. The nights they would spend together between the sheets became little to non-existent, the spontaneous dates never really happened as Leigh always came up with some sort of excuse as to why she didn’t want to do it. Even when she received flowers soon fizzled out, Y/N soon started to realise that she was pulling further and further away. They barely spoke anymore, everytime Y/N would start up a conversation, Leigh would completely shut it down almost immediately.

“I’m off.” Y/N would say every morning when they saw her in the kitchen having her morning smoothie, their heart broke a little when she only shrugged. So they left without a single word off of Leigh. They spent their day working under the hot sun, wondering what had went wrong between the two of them.

“You look like you could do with a drink after work.” Jim stated as he helped Y/N by holding the plank of wood in place for Y/N to drill it into place. “Trouble in paradise?”

“You could say that.” They answered him.

“Then it’s settled, we’re having a drink and you can tell me all about it.” He told them before they both moved on to their next tasks. The day soon went by fairly quickly, work and banter with their colleagues slowly taking their mind off of their failing relationship. Soon they found themselves sitting in a booth at a bar not too far from the construction site. “So, talk to us.” Jim told them once they had their first drink.

“You know Leigh and I have been together for a couple of years right.” Jim nodded and waited for them to continue. “I think she.” They took a deep breath. “She’s pulling away from me and I don’t know how I can fix it.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” He questioned as they just nodded.

“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore. There’s no communication with her and I am trying, I am really trying to do everything I can to try and make it right and make it work.” They rambled on as they played with their glass, swirling the liquid within. “I don’t think she loves me anymore.” They whispered sadly before they downed their drinks.

“How long has this been going on for?” He asked as Y/N shrugged.

“Months.” They told him honestly. “We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore, I know she gets out of our bed once she thinks I’m asleep.”

“Do you think she could be cheating on you?” He asked them as they shrugged.

“I don’t know.” They looked at him sadly. “I just, I love her more than anything and I don’t think she will ever feel for me the way I feel for her.”

“Well, I think you really need to make a decision, you have got to do what makes you happy.” He told them. “If your relationship is failing, and you’re the only one who is putting in all of the effort, it’s best to jump ship.”

“I was going to propose on our next anniversary.” They admitted. “I already have the ring and everything prepared.”

“I’m so sorry buddy.” Was all he could say before Y/N grabbed their wallet and left, paying the tab beforehand. They hadn’t realized the time when they had gotten home, seeing Leigh sat on the sofa, her eyes glued to the door in which they entered.

“Where were you?” She questioned them angrily. “You were supposed to be home hours ago!”

“So you finally noticed me?” They sneered as they moved towards the kitchen. “You’ve spent months ignoring me, forgetting I even exist.”

“Have you been drinking?” She questioned as they just laughed at her. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Why would I cheat on you, huh?!” They questioned angrily. “You know that is something I would never do! I don’t make promises just to break them, and I am not Matt.”

“No, you’re nothing like Matt.” Leigh seethed. “He knew me! He loved me!”

“If he loved you, he wouldn’t have cheated on you!” They yelled. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on you. You know the kind of person I am, when I want a relationship, I want to know that there is a future. You know very well I don’t do flings and I never saw you as just a fling.” They looked in her eyes sadly, reaching into their pocket. “I wanted everything with you, I wanted to build a life and a future with you. I love you so fucking much.” Their tears started to fall as they spoke. “But I know that you don’t love me, I was just a means to help you to try and forget your pain. It’s more like an addiction to you, and once I wasn’t doing it for you anymore, you go back into this place. You shut everyone out, everyone who loves, when was even the last time you spent time with your mom or Jules these past few months?”

“I see them every day.” She answered them with a scoff.

“At work!” They yelled. “You haven’t seen them at any other time! You go to work and then come home. Maybe you go to the store on some days to get you endless bottles of wine.”

“This isn’t even the point I was getting at!” She yelled in frustration, making Y/N laugh loudly.

“You haven’t spoke a single word to me, and you have the nerve to think I would hurt you.” They told her shakily. “You have no idea how much you have hurt me, you shut me out, I had no idea what I had done wrong, I was trying to figure it out for months. But, I had done things the way I have always done them since I first asked you out. I continued to do all of the things that made you smile, or laugh. I genuinely thought we had a future.” Leigh watched as Y/N had completely detached themselves from her. “I do love you, but I can’t do this anymore.” They told her as they pointed between themselves. “I can’t keep allowing myself to get hurt because I love you so much. It’s not fair on me.”

“What are you saying?” Leigh questioned, the first sound of regret in her voice.

“I’m saying it’s over.” They told her bluntly. “Us, we’re done. I’m done.” They sighed as Leigh just watched as they moved towards their room, grabbing a bag before packing some of their belongings. “I’m going to sign myself off of the lease.”

“You can’t.” Leigh whispered as she watched them from the doorway.

“I have to.” They told her as they zipped up their bag. “I need to leave before what we have kills me, and you need to move on. Just because you’re still alive while he’s not, doesn’t mean that you can’t learn to love someone new. You deserve to be happy Leigh, you just need to heal first instead of hiding from the pain.”

[writing-house-of-m]

Playing Games & Mischief

Leigh Shaw x GN!Reader

Summary: Leigh's sleep talking has you wondering what she could have been dreaming about

A/N: I only got this request when I asked for some ideas last week, which I'm actually grateful for lol Here you go anon, I hope you like it. It is very cute in my opinion 😌 but let me know what you all think!

You have been wanting to see Leigh all day, she was already gone when you woke up this morning. There has been something you wanted to ask her since you woke up in the middle of the night last night. 

Something you think will embarrass Leigh which means you have to mention it for your own entertainment. 

The sound of the front door opening and the rustling of bags indicate Leigh is finally home. ‘Finally!’ You think. You have had to wait for her all day (a few hours). 

Sneaking into the kitchen you quietly walk up behind Leigh and wrap your arms around her, your voice is low when you speak. "Hello wife," you say, pressing a kiss on Leigh's neck. 

You don't think you will ever tire of saying that - 'wife'. 

Leigh greets you back and when you look up to see the full grocery bags she turns her head to peck you on the cheek. She busies herself with emptying the contents of said bags. 

After you place another peck on Leigh's shoulder you pull away giving her some space to continue with what she is doing. 

You stand by her side leaning against the counter and crossing your arms over your chest.

"Mrs Leigh Shaw, my love, my wife, the eternal light of my life." Leigh raises an eyebrow at your antics wondering where this is going to go. “I have a question for you.” 

You don't wait for a response and continue, "Does 'You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them' sound familiar to you?" You ask. 

Leigh squints her eyes at you confused. 

To clarify, you add sweetly, "What were you dreaming about last night, love?" While grinning. 

It's quick, and if you were anyone else they would not have seen it. There is the briefest look of realisation on your wife's face before she schools her features once more. 

And even though you know she knows you can catch her in a lie, she still chooses to withhold the truth from you. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, babe." Leigh grins back then turns around to walk to one of the cabinets to put some cans of food away. Purposely looking away from you because she doesn't want you to see the sheepish look on her face. 

Oh, she wants to play. Time for a little fun. 

"Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie,” your grin widens as you raise an eyebrow. 

Leigh makes her way back to stand next to you seemingly unaffected. 

Being with Leigh for so long means you know all the right buttons to press. So the tone of voice you use is one you know will get a reaction out of her. 

You lean in close, one hand leaning against the counter, the other going to the small of Leigh's back while you speak low, “You know, I know when you're lying. Why must we play these games, Mrs Shaw?” 

Leigh glances over at you from the corner of her eye then sighs, resting her hands on the flat surface in what you think is defeat. 

You're so close to her now you can practically feel the effect you have on her especially with your voice teasing Leigh right by her ear, "Tell me love, what was it you were dreaming about?" 

Leigh turns her head to you, your lips inches apart. You twitch your eyebrow while biting your bottom lip ready for Leigh to fall victim to your charm. 

What you don't expect is for Leigh to reverse the roles. 

"What if I say I was dreaming about you?" It's Leigh's turn to raise her eyebrows and bite her lip. 

"I had you in the palm of my hand,” she narrates sultrily, hand on your chest to push you so that your back is pressed against the edge of the counter. “And you just wanted to," Leigh's hand slowly makes its way up your bicep,"touch me." She finishes as her hands glide up your neck and rest there.

Goosebumps flair on your skin as you sigh, affected by how close she is, her breath brushing your lips. Your eyelids droop as she takes hold of your stings and plays you like a puppet. 

This is not going how you thought it would. 

"Then what happened," you whisper. You're surprised you even get the words out with the way her fingers play with the hairs at the nape of your neck.

"And then," she pushes her body, if possible, even closer to yours. Her soft edges mould perfectly to you while your arms catch up to the instructions your brain is sending out to wrap around her waist. You feel heat radiating from your cheeks and the tips of your ears when she brushes her nose against yours. 

When she leans in, “And then…” you blink slowly waiting for the gap to close. But Leigh pulls away, "And then I woke up!" She slaps your cheek twice then heads out of the kitchen, leaving you standing there in a dumbfounded mess. 

"You can finish with the groceries, I'm going to go shower," Leigh says, her voice bright. She pauses at the doorway to look over her shoulder at you. You, with your wide eyed, mouth agape look of despair, "love." Then proceeds to walk away. 

You rub the back of your neck while you scrunch your eyebrows together, "What just happened?" You sigh to yourself, looking at the items that still need to be put away. Your brain then slowly catches up with the fact you had just been played. 

Freezing for a second, it hits you. What she instructed. And where she is going. 

You scoff as a smirk takes over your face and before you know it you're racing off in the direction your wife just went, "Leigh Shaw, you're going to regret that!" 

When Leigh hears your footsteps closing in on her she tries to run away but you are too quick for her. Leigh shrieks when your arms wrap around her, capturing her like prey. 

You both fall into a fit of laughter stopping a few feet from the bathroom. Turning Leigh around in your arms, she buries her face in your neck to avoid looking at you, playing coy. 

"Nuh uh, let me see those pretty eyes, baby," you say, using your hand to guide her face away from its hiding place. 

When her green eyes meet yours your smile is automatic. You swear you see them sparkle with how much they seem to be shining at this moment. The sparkle you initially think is admiration turns out to be mischief. 

She raises an eyebrow, "So, how exactly am I going to regret my actions?" Leigh asks cheekily. 

"Let's just say, 'You did some bad things, but I'm going to be the worst one of them'." You mock Leigh with her own words from last night, making yourself chuckle. 

In response Leigh rolls her eyes, pushing your shoulder. 

Shortly after, the mischievous look takes over her face once again, "I want to know how you're going to punish me." 

That damn lip bite is going to be the death of you, but this time you are not going to let her win. 

You lift her up with ease and lean in close, your lips barely grazing hers to say, "Oh, I have a few ideas," before closing the gap between you and making your way to the bathroom. 

[therunawaykind]

don't wanna break up again

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Genre: Pinch of angst? fluff

Warnings: None unless you hate the names Leigh & Danny in the same sentence quite a bit

A/N: Long time no see! (again) writer's block and just simply getting the inspiration and motivation to write have been fucking dreadful these last few months. I dunno what was going on. Hopefully, all things going well this is my slow return to posting regularly again on here. If not then whoops you'll see me again at some stage. Who would've thought Leigh Shaw and Ariana Granda was gonna be my breakthrough for writing stuff not me that's for sure. This is my very loose interpretation of Ariana Grande's 'don't wanna break up again' I saw someone say it was very Leigh x Danny coded then this transpired. I hope I have done this some justice I imagine my writing abilities are a bit rusty so bear with me and I hope you all enjoy!

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If there was one thing Leigh was certain of since Matt’s death it was how complicated and difficult her life had become, ranging from devastating revelations to do with Matt and his teacher co-worker Nina, living with a Jules who is now a recovering sober alcoholic, dealing with her mother Amy with her previous breakdown she had where she moved to Alaska which subsequently led to her breakthrough of wanting to travel and basically just live somewhere else that wasn’t in Los Angeles, that wasn’t home.

In addition to that after Leigh’s breakdown after choosing to leave with Jules to go to Vietnam, she ultimately decided just to stay living in their family home whilst both Jules and her mother left for however long they decided. Leigh also decided to take over Beautiful Beast for Jules until she was ready to come back…if she ever did but nonetheless she couldn’t let all of Jules’ hard work go to waste. And last but not least the absolute travesty that of her and Danny whatever that thing is, it’s complicated, messy and above all else unhealthy all over for the both of them. Not to delve too much into the ups and downs of their….thing the latest situation ended up with Danny punching a hole in the wall of Leigh’s home, to sum it up in a simple phrase “People don’t slam their fists through walls when things are going well.”

The one positive and healthy yet still slightly complicated thing in Leigh’s life which happened unexpectedly was well… Y/N. Granted one of the only aspects that made it complicated was the fact you were her “student”, you both met due to you attending Leigh’s classes at Beautiful Beast, the friendship, and conversations which ended up evolving into more flirtatious conversations did just happen out of nowhere unexpectedly. The downfall of the whole friendship between you both was when Danny surprised Leigh at the entrance of Beautiful Beast one night to take her home…then you caught Danny kissing her which again took Leigh by surprise. That night and predicament in question had truly shocked Leigh because from what she knew and understood during that time, it was during one of her and Danny’s off moments, their pause a break essentially.

But in good Leigh fashion the second she saw Danny she started overthinking and thought she interpreted something wrong or missed a certain something, whilst simultaneously thinking this was Danny offering an olive branch and showing her they really can make this work, they can be good and healthy for each other….how wrong she was. So understandably from then on you started to distance yourself and pull away from Leigh after that by not talking, hanging out or texting as much. Unbeknownst to Leigh any hope you had of having some sort of relationship with her plummeted very quickly after that. 

Leigh knew whatever they had going on wasn’t good for either of them and would never last, it was a cycle they couldn’t break….well she couldn’t break. It was a lifeline for them both, the last small bit of connection they both had to Matt in some way. On one hand, Leigh had this negative and toxic relationship that she couldn’t leave, she couldn’t escape it. Somehow it always kept dragging her back in no matter how many times night and day it had her distraught, crying and attempting to soothe herself. On the other hand, Leigh had this seemingly hopeful, positive and healthy relationship she could have with you.

But before she even tried to give that relationship a chance she had to try to get out of this fucking cycle she couldn’t seem to get out of and no matter how hard she tried. Whenever she asked Jules for advice on the relationship, much to nobody's surprise always went something like this. 

“Leigh you need to end this thing with Danny and go no contact with him at least for some time, this is not healthy for either of you. I mean come on Leigh he punched a hole in the wall at our house. Let me remind you when I was living with you Leigh after mom left, just how many times I’d hear quiet sobs from your room, you talking to yourself to make yourself feel better and reassure yourself everything was going to be okay, that everything was gonna be fine. And I couldn’t get in because 1. You’d lock the door, 2. You wouldn’t respond when I asked if you were okay and lastly, when you did,  you’d just say you were fine, you were okay. Once one of you starts to feel happier and healthier the other drags the other one down simply just by being around.

I know you don’t want to go through another break-up or heartbreak….but you’re doing it to yourself constantly by staying in this with Danny or maybe…. You keep going back to this thing with Danny because you don’t want to hurt him and his heart completely. And if you do fully disappear from his life because to him you're his last link to Matt and right now you know full well you are leading him on and have him believing you two can have some semblance of a future together no matter how complicated it may be. I know this is a weird way to word it but… I think you know Matt wouldn’t want or like Danny to be experiencing this level of hurt and anguish as much as he is, not even specifically with you just with anyone.

But let’s not forget just how much you did hurt Danny initially when he was staying away from you and you wouldn’t let it happen. You forced your way into his life because you needed him to love you. Who knows maybe some ways down the line in the future when you’re both fully healed or at least somewhat…you two can be friends and have that last link to Matt. But also do remember that doesn’t mean you have to stop contact with Matt’s mother…. You can still have a link to him in some shape and form.”

That’s what she’d deal with, she knew and understood completely what Jules was saying yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it….unfortunately. She wishes Danny would end up being the person to end it but the chances of that happening are slim to none. But with the possibilities that awaited her on the other side of things…she knew what she had to do, end things with Danny then she had to get the friendship with Y/N back to what it was, and she had to show you that you weren't going to be just some rebound, that she saw a future with this relationship she saw it going the distance. 

When she thought about the aspects of the relationship she had with Y/N the only way Leigh could describe how she felt…was how she felt when she was with Matt. With you, it finally felt like Leigh had gotten the best and good part of herself back that as Leigh put it Matt had taken with him when he died. It felt like she could finally breathe again and live her life to the fullest. Fortunately for Leigh yet quite sadly when the friendship between you both was at its best Matt left her alone, and Leigh’s recurring what she would consider nightmares of Matt and Nina living out the life she lived with him finally stopped.

Now all she had to do was start the process and uncomplicate her life which starts with talking to Danny.

As Leigh anxiously approaches the door to the apartment she knows so well, she nervously wrings out her hands and fingers. She had texted Danny the night before asking him if would it be okay for her to visit in the morning to talk to him, as Danny eagerly agreed to her calling over she realised at that very moment he was expecting a very different conversation. She hesitantly starts knocking on the door muttering to herself “You can do this, you can do this. You have to do this for yourself, Danny and everyone else in your life but most importantly you and Danny.” After a few seconds, shuffling could be heard behind the door as Leigh took a deep breath in, in an attempt to calm herself down and get all of her feelings under control.

Once the door opened a weak nervous smile spread across her face, Leigh quickly scans Danny trying to figure out how he really is, as she sees him start to step out and lean in to give her a quick kiss but before anything of the sort can happen Leigh quickly steps in and gives him a quick hug as she states “so is it alright for me to come in?” as she smiles quickly at him. Danny’s face scrunches up in confusion as Leigh quickly pats his stomach as she steps past him into his apartment, he lets out an exasperated sigh and throws his head back slightly and he turns around to walk into his apartment closing the door behind him. 

When Danny finally turns to face Leigh he can’t help but notice her looking around his apartment and the constant nervous fidgeting with her fingers, her hair and her neck. He sighs to himself “Alright Leigh what is this about you said you wanted to talk.” 

Leigh jumps slightly as she spins around to face him “ I- well- yeah you’re right I did, I did.” rubbing her now sweaty palms off of the side of her jeans and slowly sits herself down on Danny's sofa. Taking a deep breath in and bringing her hands up to her mouth “I- I can imagine from the way I’m acting and just how difficult it is for me to start this conversation and say what I actually want to….that you already know what this conversation is about and where it’s heading.” Hearing a quiet sigh beside her Leigh glances quickly out the side of her eye seeing Danny leaning forward slightly with his head down and forearms leaning on his knees. “But Danny this thing has to be stopped, I- we’re both hurting each other continuously whether we realise it or not. I mean need I remind ourselves of the punching a hole in the wall situation.”

That got a small chuckle out of Danny as he shook his head slightly clicking his tongue. “And I mean it wasn’t just you Danny, I forced you to be around me when you didn’t want to, in our own little ways, we were selfish when it came to this situation. Now I know I stated and promised you before that I would never have a life that didn’t have you in it…but whilst we’re both still healing and dealing with our grief that obviously still hasn’t gone anywhere. We do really need to not be in each other's lives anymore, no contact, no talking in any shape or form no stupid lil emoji texts anymore.” 

Biting his lip and sitting back Danny exclaims “But Leigh that’s EXACTLY what you’re doing, you’re leaving, you’re having a life without me! You obviously think and believe you don’t need me!” 

“I’M NOT LEAVING YOU, I’M NOT HAVING A LIFE WITHOUT YOU”

“LEIGH THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING CAN YOU NOT HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING” 

“DANNY!” scoffing to herself and shaking her head as she calmly states ”See this, this here exactly happening right now is why we need to take a step back from each other. We can’t even have a normal conversation without blowing up and ending up yelling at each other. The only time we aren’t killing each other is when we’re having sex and- and even then since we had that conversation in that casino resort we both know Matt is still weirdly on our minds during that. I- I think no matter how much we try or maybe want some sort of actual loving relationship with each other…it’ll never work. The only thing we ever can be to each other is friends.” Leigh shakes her head and licks her lips slightly “Just a friendship. Because we are hurting each other and ourselves from the inside out. We have to heal by ourselves, without the other in our lives and move on. And hopefully at some stage down the line whenever we’re both happy and healthy we can get back in contact with the other.”

Leigh smirks as she sways from side to side “Cause I can’t lie Danny I think we’d be pretty kick-ass friends together don’t ya think.” She grins as she nudges Danny with her shoulder, clearing his throat and nodding “Yeah- yeah I think we would be. And I can’t lie I get what you’re saying I understand hell I see it completely. It- it is just a difficult thing to let go of even if it is just for a little bit.” 

Biting her lip and rubbing Danny’s arm “I get it, Danny I do believe me but you still have your mom. You both can get through this together because it was just as difficult for her to… You are all she has left. And I’ll- I'm staying in contact with her or at this stage more like getting in contact with her more considering she still is my mother-in-law or ex-mother-in-law anyways specifics isn’t the important thing here.” 

Danny laughs slightly and nods “Yeah, yeah she’d like that.” Both sit back against the sofa in silence basking in the reality of what now has to be undertaken the reality of it hitting them simultaneously. Rubbing her hands anxiously up and down her legs as she slowly drags out “rigghtt I guess- I guess I better go now and leave us both to our journey of healing, growth whatever you wanna call it.” Leigh laughs as she mumbles to herself “god I sound like my mother” She walks to the door with Danny right behind her as Leigh opens the door she turns around and smiles at Danny as they both embrace each other in a hug for the last time till…who knows how long. Both pulling away slowly and giving each other a subtle nod as Leigh steps out through the door as it closes behind her softly. Leigh takes a deep breath in, the grin spreading across her face going unnoticed by her as she starts to descend the steps of the apartment building.

Leigh was never nervous or anxious when it came to teaching her exercise classes though apparently today was the exception, as she anticipated your arrival. Leigh smiles moving back and forth on her feet as she greets all of the students walking in through the door to her class, anxiously waiting to get a glimpse of your bag, shoes or something as you come through the front door. Considering since you distanced yourself from her she’s noticed you haven’t attended classes all that regularly. Leigh’s eyebrows raise in anticipation as she sees the front doors open happily letting out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding as she saw a glimpse of your bag and shoes come into view. Giddily she lets a grin spread across her face and she nervously picks at her nails seeing you approach the entrance “Hey Y/N it’s nice to see you again, I’m glad you decided to attend and come today.” 

Taken aback by Leigh's greeting and striking up a proper conversation with you after so long did genuinely take you by surprise but couldn’t stop the smile on your face “Hey Leigh, yeah I can’t lie I missed attending these classes I’m sure I’ll get back on track from now on.” Both smiling at each other as you walk past her into the class much to Leigh’s amazement you turn around and say to her “Leigh if I can just say you look great...you just look happy and healthy. Whatever you’ve done or are doing keep it up it suits you.” With her mouth wide open Leigh messily nods and stutters out “I- I will- I-  Thank you very much, I will be sure to keep it up.” Leigh turns around to the door to hide and mutters to herself “Idiot”.

Much to her relief though the class was a success and she didn’t stumble or trip over any more of her words whenever she got closer to you throughout her class as she moved around the room. After the class finished Leigh quickly grabbed her towel off the floor wiping the sweat off of her as she said goodbye to everyone, in her peripheral vision she could see you deliberately taking your sweet ass time packing away all of your stuff. Biting her lip she attempted to suppress the smile taking over her face. 

As she said goodbye to one of the last students she sauntered across the room towards you as she started fiddling with the towel around her neck. “Sooo Y/N” you glanced up at her as you were putting on your shoes “What's up Leigh?” 

She smiles at you abashedly as she scratches her head “I just wanna say sorry and give you a quick apology for anything I said or did that created that distance and made us pull away from each other. Because- because for that length of time, I really did miss seeing you and your face around here but I’m glad to see you back now.” Nervously scratching the back of your neck “Yeah umm I just-” shaking your head slightly as you let out a breath “I just had some stuff I had to figure out and work on to clear my head a bit and- unfortunately, sadly to do that I kinda had to step away and distance myself from you and well all things relating to you. But I- I think I’ve figured it all out now.” 

You can’t help but notice the hopeful glint in Leigh’s eyes and smile “Oh really? A positive figure it out I hope?” 

Grinning and nodding confidently “Yeah- yeah it does seem that way.” Both of you stare at each other smiling to your heart's content as both of your eyes scan the other person. You clear your throat as you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks and glance around the room “Anyways I should probably head off and leave you to clean up the place or whatever it is you have left to do around here.”  Leigh absentmindedly nods her head but ultimately starts panicking as you pick up your bag and wave goodbye to her, she quickly sprints after you saying between breaths “Or or- or albeit this isn’t a very nice offer for you to ask-” you raise your eyebrow at her “What is it, Leigh?”

“Um, do you wanna hang out here with me and help me out around here if you aren’t busy? I just- I’ve just missed hanging out and talking with you and thought this might be a nice way for us to catch up.”

“Y’know you are right it isn’t the nicest or most glamorous offer I’ve ever heard but I have missed talking to you Leigh so I’ll stick around and help my favourite fitness instructor out.” 

Leigh whips her head around to face you and stumbles slightly as she starts moving the spare barres placed around the room “Wha- what do you mean favourite fitness instructor? I’m your only fitness instructor.” Smirking over at Leigh as you roll up the extra yoga mats “That you know of, could’ve tried out other places whilst I was MIA” 

“HEY!” Leigh exclaims as she throws a cloth at you 

Laughing at her reaction as you catch the cloth “I’m messing, I’m messing you would be correct, you are the only fitness instructor I know and one that I go to.” You hear a quiet yet stern “good” in response as she goes back to cleaning, laughing and shaking your head in the process.

Since then you and Leigh have practically been inseparable, it was as if nothing had ever happened. She had explained to you fully what went and was going on with her and Danny currently..more like what wasn’t going on. Even though you had said to her repeatedly she didn’t have to that it was none of your business. But you reassured her it was for the better, she made the right decision, she’s doing better because of it and you could only hope the same for Danny. Leigh now had you over at her house….for what she told you would be a quiet night in with both of your favourite takeout foods and as many movies and TV shows as you both could handle.

Which now that you were here was not the case at all. Leigh had gotten the bright idea, the brainwave or as she put it a breakthrough. She felt that the whole house needed to be redecorated and refurnished as it reminded her of sad, difficult and complicated times and she couldn’t stand being reminded of those moments any longer. So who were you to say no to helping her out yet again. As you were sat on the floor dismantling all of the old furniture with Leigh, you saw her peak her head out from the other side “Again I’m sorry about this, it seems like none of my hangouts recently are that exciting and it involves you always having to work.” You laugh and shake your head “Leigh honestly it’s okay I really don’t care what I do as long as it’s with you. But hey it’ll be a nice bonding time for both of us, be a little glimpse of what it’s like if we were to ever live with each other I guess.” You scratch your head and hurriedly get back to dismantling the furniture as you realise what you said. “Did you just say living together?” 

“Psshhh me say that? No never? Must’ve heard things, Leigh.” 

“Mhmm okay sure.” What you didn’t notice was Leigh moving over to you slowly on her knees but jumping slightly as you felt her place her arms on your shoulders in an attempt to get you to raise your head to look at her. Glancing up at her you see the silly little smile on her face “I may not be ready for that yet but I’d like to think we’d end up living together at some stage in the future.” 

Staring at her wide-eyed “R-really?” Leigh grins and nods her head as she whispers against your lips “Really.” Grinning at each other as you both lean in to place kisses on each other's lips which quickly turn into little pecks as Leigh slaps your thigh “Alright let’s get back to work this house isn’t gonna refurnish and redecorate itself. And this furniture certainly won’t dismantle itself.” 

Chuckling to yourself you playfully salute towards Leigh “Aye, aye captain.” 

[messedupfan]

Benefits Of Car Troubles| 8

Summary: After getting settled into the apartment, Leigh asks about Y/n's troubled past and comforts them.

A/n: I should have never done that damn poll. But here it is. A WARNING because y'all voted for SMUT. So, spoiler alert, there's SMUT involve. MINORS DNI this is 18+ content hehe.

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Living with Leigh is different when her family isn’t around. She is less stressed out about how she needs to present herself and how you need to behave. When she comes home from work, she spends a few minutes in the shop talking to your co-workers and getting to know Teddy a little bit better. After having lunch with her and Cameron, her lawyer brother, she started to feel a bit better about your closeness to her. Not great, but better. She hasn’t brought up her discomfort about the friendship to you yet. With her divorce proceedings and drama with her sister, she doesn’t have the energy to come home and fight more. You have become her safe space and she has let you know that everyday. 

After she rests for an hour in the apartment, she cleans up the few messes around and then cooks dinner to have it ready for the both of you since you work later than she does. Then, as she is waiting for you to come upstairs she takes time to write. With learning about your schedule she is amazed that you ever made time to go to writing class and have something prepared for class. She is surprised that you ever had time for her. What she doesn't know is that you have been working extra shifts in order to have money leftover after buying the house. You had enough to cover the down payment, the issue was having enough money to sustain for some time after that. Sure, you could ask your dad for a loan but you'd have no idea when you'll be able to pay him back. Besides the basic expenses, there is moving and baby stuff which you have no idea what you do and don't need. Everything was going to start piling up and you weren't sure if you'll be able to afford all of it. 

“Wow, what smells so good,” you ask as you enter the apartment. Leigh has your small table set with the few plates and utensils that you own. She happily tells you that it's your favorite dish and you don't clean up before devouring the meal. You have been skipping lunch most days to get the extra hours. “This is delicious, babe. Thank you,” you tell her with a full mouth and Leigh shakes her head at your silliness. 

After dinner, you shower and get out of your dirty work clothes. Then you join her in the living room where she is typing away on her laptop. “What are you up to?” You ask as you lift her legs and sit underneath them. You begin to massage her feet because you're sure they're sore with the extra weight she has to carry. 

“Oh that's so good, thank you.” Leigh hums as you work your fingers into her tense foot. “I was working on a story,” she closes her laptop and places it on the coffee table. “But I've hit a dead spot and I'd rather spend my time with you.” 

“Awe I'm sorry, do you want to talk it out? I think I could help you out of it,” you offer as you switch one foot for the other.

Leigh shakes her head then she sits her arm on top of the couch and rests her head against her hand. “I just want to talk with you. We can do that another day.” She rubs her exposed belly with her free hand. 

“Okay, we can do that.” You start by asking about her day and you listen intently as she talks about work and the gossip from the office. You laugh at her sarcastic remarks and little jokes and ask her questions when you're confused or want her to know that you are listening. Then she mentions that she talked to her mom a little bit and you can see that something is bothering her so you ask her to tell you. 

Leigh sighs, she moved from her position halfway through her story about finding two of her co-workers screwing in the copy room. Her legs that were across your lap are now tucked under her and instead of sitting on the other end of the couch, she is sitting on the cushion next to you. “Can I ask you how you knew that Jules wanted to use that money for drugs and not rehab?” 

You take a deep breath as you figure out where to start because you don't like talking about that part of your past. It's something that you've chosen to bury and have been able to avoid telling Leigh about until now. Part of you hoped that you could go forever without ever revealing this time in your life but you knew someday that you would have to. Especially since addiction can be a genetic condition and you would have to explain to her why you plan to be so strict when the baby in her belly reaches their teenage and even their adult years. You were worried that when she met your dad that she would start asking questions but her mind clearly got temporarily distracted by her sister. The situation you had been in too many times in your life. A situation that you swore that you would never experience again. You look at Leigh with a frown and scratch the back of your head. “My mom,” is all you're able to say. Luckily, it's all that you have to say because Leigh pulls you into a tight hug. 

“I'm sorry about whatever experiences that you had with her that makes you talk so little about her,” she says as she holds you. “I'm also kind of relieved that it wasn't you or maybe a complicated ex of yours. I know, that's horrible to say. But,” you shake your head to cut her off.

“No, it's okay. Honey, I'm here for all of your honesty. Good, bad, I want to hear it. No matter what. Okay?” You move her hair out of her face as you look at her. You kiss her lips. “I want to be honest and completely open with you but I’m not ready to talk about my mom. I hope to be someday. Especially before this one,” you rest your hand on her baby bump, “starts high school so that we can give them a proper scare. I don’t want them to make one wrong move that will screw up the rest of their life. I know that after everything with your sister that you’re probably very concerned about that as well.” Leigh nods, confirming that she doesn’t want that for her child. She wasn’t as concerned as she might be now since Jules' genetics aren’t connected to her genetics. But this baby is connected to you and you are connected to your mother. The chances aren’t as likely but there is never any guarantee with this sort of thing. “I don’t want you to worry though, I have faith in us that we won’t let anything like that happen.” 

Leigh runs her fingers through your hair, “I love you.” She kisses you softly. As her lips collide with your’s a hunger begins to build in the pit of her stomach. The kind of hunger that doesn’t require food to satisfy. Only you. Leigh deepens the kiss as you hold onto her. “I miss you,” she says against your lips. You try to pull her off to ask what she means by that but she doesn't move and instead finds a way to answer that question by shoving her hand in your sweatpants. “I miss the way you used to fuck me all over my old house and… this apartment,” she whispers against your ear as she continues to rub you. 

You're reminded of the afternoons when the affair started. She would call the shop and you would escape from work to meet her wherever she wanted. It started with motel rooms that she would arrange but ask you to pay for, which you gladly did. It was just sex at the time. Nothing more than fucking each others brains out. She started off the more dominant of you two but eventually you took on that role once you learned everything that made her squeal. 

As she climbs on your lap and kisses you, memories of when she first invited you to her home flood your mind. You couldn't deny the thrill you felt seeing her framed wedding photos as you made her toes curl. But as she rides you now, you don't miss that feeling. This one, knowing that she wants to be with you, loves you, wants a future and a family. This feeling is better than anything you could have imagined. Being loved instead of used, there is quite a difference. 

You start to rub her clitoris to get her there faster. She has her hands on your shoulders to hold her steady. “Let me take you to the bedroom,” you say against her lips, concerned about her back. She has complained about pain recently with the extra weight she has to carry. 

Leigh shakes her head, “No, I'm fine.” She crosses her arms and removes her shirt. “This is so good,” she smiles down at you before she grabs your face and deeply kisses you. She rolls her hips as you're inside of her causing you to groan. When she stops kissing you, you move your hand from her clitoris and place your hands on her ass to help her bounce on you. She tips her head back as she moans and you move to suck on her neck. Something you used to hold yourself back from to avoid getting caught that now you get the freedom to do. She is yours.

You continue to thrust into her as you move your mouth around her exposed body. From her neck to her shoulder to her collarbone down to her still covered breasts. With your teeth, you pull the fabric down in order to expose her breasts. You are careful with licking her nipples as she has complained about sensitivity earlier in the week. You look up and watch her bite her lips and shut her eyes the way she always does when she is getting close. You smile as you move to the other breast while you continue to thrust deep into her warm pussy. 

“Fuck,” Leigh moans out as you hit a spot inside of her that causes her walls to clench around you. Her moans drive you crazy as you rest your head against her chest to have her breasts rub against your face. The pace of your thrusts slow down as you get closer in order to drag it out a bit longer but she doesn’t want to drag it out. She is ready. She wants your release now. She wants to know that she can still pleasure you and bring you to an orgasm. She wants to feel you lose all control of yourself. She rolls her hips on your lap and with a tight grip on your couch she brings the pace back up until you can’t hold back. 

“Holy shit!” You say as you reach your climax and shoot inside of her. Feeling your release, Leigh reaches her own high. She holds you close to her body as the both of you spasm against each other. “I love you,” you say as you kiss her sweaty cheek. “I can’t even remember the last time we did this,” you say as you start to laugh. She joins you and peppers you with sweet kisses. 

“I’ll be honest, at that last house tour I imagined our life there in an innocent way but… I also imagined us all over that house. Fucking in every room,” she admits as she scrunches her nose in that cute way that she always does. You kiss her nose and call her cute, she hugs you in response. 

Later that night, you are unable to sleep. Leigh is deep asleep and snoring, something that has arrived with the pregnancy. It wasn’t a loud obnoxious snore, it was actually kind of endearing. It’s a snore that you can sleep through, that’s not what is keeping you up. You can’t get your mom out of your head. Most days she never crosses your mind but when she does, you can’t help but worry about her. You wonder if she is even alive, it’s been almost five years since the last time you’ve seen her. You look at Leigh with sad eyes as you push the memory away. You know that, even though it wasn’t planned and this wasn’t the way you ever saw this happening, she is the perfect person for you to have a child with. Leigh is always going to be there for you and the baby. She won’t leave either of you to chase a high. And you will always be there for them. No matter what. 

You lean down and kiss her belly, “I know that we haven’t met yet, but I already love you so much kid.” You rub her stomach softly, careful to not wake her up. “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to play with you and guide you.” You smile as you imagine the baby as a real person standing before you someday soon. “I hope I don’t screw you up.” You sigh, and move off of the bed. You weren’t feeling tired at all and instead of wasting that time tossing and turning, you decide to write down the story of your mother. You know that you won’t ever be able to tell it without completely falling apart but hopefully, Leigh will be fine with just reading it. Never discussing it. Maybe one day you share it with your kids when they’re older and start to ask about what your mom was like. 

As you write about your earliest memories of her, a part of you breaks knowing that she might never meet your kids or Leigh. And it’s not because she was taken from this world but because she chose to escape this reality. The reality that you have always found to be beautiful even in your lowest moments. 

Leigh finds you in the morning, asleep on the couch with dried tears on your face and a notebook on your lap. She frowns as she tries to read the smudged paper from where she stood but when she can’t make out much of it, she decides to make coffee to help you wake up. Once you do, she tries to ask why you didn’t sleep in the bed but you are too drained to talk to her about it. She worries that you are going to start pulling away from her but when you pull her for a kiss before she leaves, she knows that you will talk to her when you’re ready.

NINE

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[chiefduckgarden]

Last dinner.

Wanda maximoff x Reader

Angst.

A/N: I wrote this a little rushed, I'm sorry if I made some mistakes. Btw, english it's not my first language so please, if you see any mistake let me know, I promise I'll get better :)

_________________________________________

It was 6 pm, and you were alone in your house cooking dinner for you and wife. She was at work and you knew she'll be coming home soon. Earlier in the afternoon you decided you wanted to take some snacks for her to eat at lunch time, so you made a little unanounced visit to her office. She told you she would see you at the house.

The sound of the oven letting you know the food was ready dragged your attention from the soup, leaving the wooden spoon on the counter you went to take out the chicken you cook. Oh, the salad wasn´t ready yet!

Holding your sharpest knife you grabbed the fresh lettuce and began to chop it.

- Wanda it´s not here now honey, she´s at the supervisor's office, maybe you want to wait, she´s been in there for quite a while now, sometimes their meetings can last and hour or so.

- That´s fine, i´ll wait.

- Okay, but don´t say i didn´t warned you...

You smiled politely at the secretary and took a seat at the white bench. You could wait for Wanda.

Wanda´s favorite food was all over the large wooden table. The soup, the salad, the drinks, the paprika, the meat. Everything you knew she loved was there, waiting for her to arrive.

Looking at the clock on the wall you realized you still had some minutes to fix up your make up, so you took your little mirror from your purse and began to apply some lip gloss.

- She´s been there a little too long, isn´t she? - you asked with a little laugh.

-Yes, told you it could be even an hour.

-Yeah... i need to use the bathroom, do you think i could use the one in her office?

- Oh sure, you're the wife after all, i don´t see the problem.

-Thank you... And if she comes back don´t tell her i´m here, it´s a silly little surprise

- Oh sure, don´t worry - the woman told you, simulating the closing of a zipper in her mouth.

The candels and the roses were spread all over the room and the romantic slow music was the perfect tuning for the night.

You walked into your shared room and looked at yourself in the big mirror. Your dress was perfect, and special for the occasion. Your hair, your make up. Everything was fine. And your shiny little ring was the best detail to wear that night.

Before stepping out of the room you looked at the prepared suitcase in the corner. You grabbed it and took it with you to put it at the living room.

Walking down the stairs again you took a seat on the couch waiting for your wife. She would be there at any time.

Washing your hands you were thinking about leaving the snacks you prepared for Wanda and go back home. Maybe she was really busy and you were just interrumpting her day. But the sound of the main door in her office told you your wife was back.

- Those files you sent me were amazing Wanda - you heard the voice of her supervisor, Vision, talking.

- Thank you Vis, i really looked forward for something nice.

You smiled thinking about the hard work of wife. Maybe you´ll do something nice for her to celebrate her amazing work.

- I can´t wait to be there with you, just the two of us - Vision said.

You frowned, confused.

- Me too, i told my wife i´ll be out for two weeks, so we´ll have enough time, the vacation house it´s beautiful, and i can´t wait to be there.

- It could be like this forever Wanda, just us, be with me, be mine -his voice was soothing and full of love, like he wasn´t telling atrocities to a married woman.

- I am yours, i love you and only you, someday will be just the of us, i promise, i just need time.

And then you felt like vomiting.

The sudden sound of keys and the door announced Wanda´s arrival. You smiled and stood up to welcome her.

- Y/N where are you? - she called out for you.

- I´m in the living room honey - you said.

She stepped in quickly, looking tired and rushed.

- Y/N, i can explain everything, what you saw at the office...

- Dinner is ready darling, I have everything prepared - you cut her off and walked into the dining room.

She followed you confused.

- What? I'm telling you I need to explain...

- I made paprikash, and even cooked your favorite meat and cut fresh veggies for our salad.

- What? I... - Wanda rubbed her face with her hand in exasperation trying to understand - What's all of this? And why... - she looked at you from head to toe - Why are you wearing your wedding dress?

- It's a special night, a special dinner Wanda - you said like it was obvious.

- I don't know what is happening but we need to talk... - She said getting closer to you, trying to hold your hands.

But you avoided the contact.

- Oh we're gonna talk, but we're gonna have dinner in the meantime... What do you say darling?

She shook her head shocked.

- What are you doing? I need...

- JUST TAKE A SEAT! - you finally yelled, little tears falling for the corner of your eyes.

She jumped a bit for the sudden reaction and looked at you confused.

- Sorry - you said - I had a shaken day, but I made dinner for us, please let's just eat... At least give me that.

She gulped and nodded.

- Thank you.

You stepped out of the office bathroom just to see your wife and her boss kissing in her desk.

- Wanda...

She froze in her place and turned around.

- Y/N, what are you doing her? - she asked.

- I just came to bring you some snacks for your lunch but... - you looked at Vision trying to fix his tie - I think I better go home.

- Y/N I can explain, Vision and I....

Then someone knocked on the door and the secretary walked in.

- Sorry for the interruption but Mr. Hart wants the report of the week now, he asked for Mr. Vision and Mrs. Maximoff at the conference room now, the investors are waiting for you...

- I'll be there in a minute, thank you - Vision said walking to the door as the secretary left the office - Are you okay Wanda?

- Yes, tell Mr. Hart I'll be there in a minute too I just need...

- Go now Wanda, they need you, I'm leaving - you said without looking at her in the eyes.

- We need to talk Y/N, just wait for me in the house, I'll explain everything.

You nodded numb and left the office as quickly as you could.

You didn't want someone to notice you were crying.

- I'm sorry it's a little cold, but it's still warm at least.

- It's fine, thank you - she said eating awkwardly.

- You know, I tried to recreate the exact dish they served that night, but I don't think i nailed it - you said laughing a little.

She frowned her eyes and looked at you a bit confused.

- You don't know what I'm talking about? - you asked with trembling voice.

- About the food? - she tried.

Tears started to fall silently from your eyes again, this time ruining your make up.

- It's the same food we ate at our wedding... Ten years ago.

Both of your hearts broke a little at the confession.

- Y/N I'm sorry, it's just I'm really distracted, I need to talk and you... - she said, starting to sob.

- And the music... - you cut her off again - It's the song from our first dance... And the one you showed me in our first date.

Wanda looked at you astonished as she listened to the music playing in the background for the first time in the night.

'How sweet it is to be loved by you' was on repeat.

She couldn't help but cry, and so did you. But both for different reasons.

You were crying drowned on so much feelings. The day drained you emotionally and took your life away in a matter of hours.

She was crying because despite the constant reminders of your shared love she couldn't help but feel nothing. She didn't love you anymore.

- Y/N...

- Yes? - you asked smiling through your cry and eating. To be honest, you knew you looked crazy. She probably thought you had lost your mind. But you didn't care.

- Can we talk please? About everything.

You slightly nodded and drank from your wine, looking at anywhere else but her.

- Vision and I - she started and you regretted letting her talk the second she mentioned his name - We are together.

- You're having an affair - you corrected her.

She looked at you hurt.

- What? It's the truth. You are my wife, you are cheating on me with him. Don't call it any other way.

- Y/N...

You reached your breaking point, you couldn't help but cry and be mad, and disappointment.

- For how long? - you said, with a trembling voice.

She gulped and looked at the floor, playing nervously with her hands.

- One year.

Oh that hurt. More than anyone could think.

You let out a breath that you were holding. Your cry was intense, intense and silent.

But you were still eating.

- A year?... That's a lot of time... How?.... Why?

She sniffed.

- I don't know, we spent a lot of time together and it just happened... I felt attracted to him... I just couldn't help it.

- But you were supposed the be attracted to me, you are my wife...

She finally looked at you again, with pity in her eyes.

- I'm not... I don't.... - she tried to find the right words to tell it with touch, but there was no easy way to say it - I don't think i love you anymore... I fell out of love a long time ago... I just don't know why.

That was it. Those words you were so afraid to heard. She broke you.

- Y/N, it's not your fault, I just can't love you anymore, I'm sorry for the damage, but I can't help but feel nothing... But it's all on me, you did nothing wrong, i swear...

But you didn't respond. You just couldn't. You felt numb, like you were dreaming, like your soul had left your body and there was only the shell of you left.

- And Vision, he was there for me all the time, and when we started to spend more time together I fell for him...

You looked at her. Your stare was heavy, it looked tired, disappointed... And blank at the same time.

- Please say something - she asked.

You sighed.

- What's going to happen to us?

She stared at you sadly.

- I think it's better for us to get a divorce Y/N, you deserve someone better, someone who can love you completely...

- Did you never love me completely? - you suddenly asked her.

- I did, for a really long time you were my everything... But now...

- Now it's him.

She gulped, closing her eyes nodding.

- Yeah, now it's him.

You were still in some sort of trance, but you knew it was enough for that night. You needed to rest.

You got up from the chair and started walking toward the stairs. But before leaving the room you stopped to look at her.

- Give time to process this... Situation. I'll let you know whenever I'm ready to fill the divorce papers...

She stand up to look at you.

- I need time Wanda, I know that for you this marriage ended a year ago, but for me... I just lost my wife this evening.

She nodded, whispering sorry again and again.

- The suite cases you prepared for your 'business trip' are in the living room... You can leave whenever you want, it's still your house too anyways.

- Y/N... - she stopped your tracks when you were about to leave - I'm sorry for everything, for the lies, and the affair, and pain... You don't deserve any of this... I'm really sorry.

You smiled bitterly.

- Your apologies mean nothing to me Wanda... You're the most coward and horrible person I ever met - you finally said angrily - You ruined my life... Ten years of marriage ruined by you...

- I know, I know, I'm sorry...

- I don't forgive you, and I will never forgive you... But still, I hope you're happy with him, you two really deserve each other...

You left and locked yourself in your bedroom. And only then, you allowed yourself to cry, to scream, to throw and break things that reminded you of Wanda.

After several minutes of pain and chaos you ended up laying in your bed, curled up in fetal position, embracing yourself crying.

Even after everything you said to Wanda you still loved her. Just that morning you were still thinking you had the perfect marriage and the perfect wife. And you thought at some point she would knocked on your door, begging for your forgiveness, saying how much she loved you and telling that she wanted to be with you.

But that never happened.

After thirty minutes you heard a car parking in the front door. You looked through window and saw Wanda and Vision putting the suit cases in the car and then leaving together.

You went back to bed only to cry again.

It was 10 pm and you were alone in your house.

[billie-reportingbadnews2you]

IDK WHICH ONE YALL HELPPP

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (17/17)

Part Summary: “I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 7.600+ | Tags/Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of smut Author's note: Wow! Those five months went by so fast. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. It's been my honor and pleasure sharing with you this story :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV I Part XV | Part XVI

-

“Tell me that your love is a sure thing” - Golden Vessel, Emerson Leif (“Hesitate”)

“Do you think I should ask Y/N to come with me?” Leigh asks, idly twisting a gold bauble between her fingers. She stares at it a beat too long, like she might find the answer in the curve of its shiny surface. 

It's three days before Christmas, and true to Shaw family tradition, they're just now getting around to setting up the decorations. It wouldn't have happened at all if Amy hadn't taken the initiative to remind them. She was supposed to help, but she's vanished again to meet another “friend.” Leigh and Jules are suspicious, thinking their mom might be seeing someone in secret.

Jules, teetering slightly on the ladder, twists around to give Leigh a raised eyebrow. “To the Harrison’s bash for New Year’s? Hell yeah, why not? She’s a blast. Could shake things up a bit.”

“No, not that,” Leigh exhales, now regretting even bringing it up. “I mean the comic book tour for Matt.”

Jules steps down, one rung at a time, until she’s down to Leigh’s level. “Oh. That’s…quite a step. But, why not? Sounds like an adventure for you both,” she says.

Logan zips by, a sheeny red bauble in his mouth, set on a mission to place it next to his bowl in the kitchen. He keeps fetching or chasing after the scattered Christmas balls, sending them rolling all over the house. Leigh and Jules have been running around, picking them up and putting them back on the tree.

“It’s not just that,” Leigh says, glancing out the window where the first hints of evening are brushing the sky. “Asking her to come means asking her to leave everything here behind. Her life, her responsibilities. It’s different for her—she has a real career.”

“Hold up—what we do is a real career too. We’re improving lives with healthy habits, remember?”

Leigh laughs sardonically. “Come on, Jules, we're kinda just floating, working for Mom. Y/N is a doctor, owns her clinic, has staff. That’s...”

“That’s a big deal,” Jules agrees with a solemn nod. “It’s a huge ask, for sure.”

Silence hangs for a beat, the only sounds being Logan’s light panting as he settles down, ornament forgotten. 

“Do you think she'd actually say no?” Jules suddenly pipes up, climbing back up the ladder to resume her decorating. Leigh spots a stray ornament a few feet away, points at it, and calls out, “Fetch!” 

Logan springs into action, scampering to retrieve it. As he returns, triumphant, Leigh gives him a pat on the head and passes the ornament up to Jules.

“Actually, it’s quite the opposite. She’d jump at the chance,” she tells Jules.

“So, what’s stopping you?”

“She might regret it later,” Leigh says quietly. “And that could mean losing her.”

Jules frowns, understanding the bind her sister is in. She stretches out a hand, and Leigh takes it, their palms pressing cold and warm together. “I’m sorry.”

“And if I leave her here, I might lose her anyway,” Leigh adds, the heaviness of two futures making her shoulders sag. 

Jules gives her hand a firm squeeze. “But what if you both end up regretting not taking the chance? It’s only a few months. Maybe Y/N can sort something out with her clinic?”

“It’s still too risky for her business. She’s poured everything into that place, Jules. Asking her to step away, even briefly—it’s…it’s selfish.”

“Life’s full of risky asks, Leigh. Sometimes, you gotta bet on what’s scary. Risk a little heartbreak on the chance it’ll bring you both something remarkable. Maybe this is one of those times?”

Leigh releases her hand and moves to another bare section of the tree. “Is that the kind of thinking that made you decide to look for your biological parents in Vietnam?”

Jules snaps the tinsel down, her response coming quick and a bit sharp. “Yes.”

Leigh winces slightly, realizing her question might have prodded an unintended sore spot. “I didn’t mean—”

“I get it,” Jules interjects, sighing as she tries to bring the conversation to a close. They’re both dealing with their own issues, and as much as she loves Leigh, she knows she’s not in the right headspace to offer solid advice—especially advice she’s not even sure works.

Leigh clamps her mouth shut. She doesn’t want this to turn into an argument either.

“Maybe just talk to her? See what she thinks? Who knows, maybe the biggest leaps make the most sense when you’re doing them for the right reasons... for the right person,” Jules says after some time. 

“You really think so?” Leigh asks, her voice threaded with hope.

“I do,” Jules nods, her hands busy rewrapping the tinsel Logan has graciously returned. “Just talk to her. It’s either a ‘what if’ or a ‘what now.’ Better to find out which.”

-

Leigh comes with her mouth open, but no sound escapes. Her body trembles as she experiences what she knows is the best orgasm she's ever had—though she remembers saying the same thing about this morning’s quickie in your bathroom. It just seems to keep getting better each time.

You slowly climb up from her pussy, trailing soft kisses along her stomach. As you move upward, you let your tongue lightly trace a stripe across one of her nipples, eliciting a shiver from Leigh. She’s still catching her breath, but when you finally reach her lips, she pulls you in for a deep, consuming kiss. The way her tongue wrestles with yours tells you she’s already eager for more, her hands tangling in your hair as she holds you close.

You break the kiss, smiling down at her. “Hi,” you murmur, almost shyly.

Leigh, still a little dazed, brushes the strands of hair off your forehead and gently traces your lower lip with her thumb. “You know something?” she asks, her eyes wandering over the marks and lines on your face.

“Hm?” 

She kisses the corner of your mouth. “You're kind of amazing,” she says softly.

“That good, huh?” you tease, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

Her hand, which has been cupping your face, slides down your neck before she pulls it back to herself, biting at her index fingernail.

“I’m sure you can tell,” she whispers, her voice low and sultry. To emphasize her point, she arches her hips, the slickness between her thighs evident against your skin.

“You’re going to have to give me a minute,” you sigh, letting your head fall to her sweaty chest. “You’ve completely worn me out.”

Leigh laughs, a soft, melodic sound. “Really? Getting tired already? What happened to your stamina?”

You don’t bother to retort, content just to lie there listening to the rhythm of her heart. “It’s hard work keeping you satisfied,” you say after some time, your voice muffled against her skin.

She tightens her hold around you, the gentle stroke of her fingers in your hair making every thought slow down. The security of her embrace makes everything seem right in the world, and it emboldens you to voice a thought that's been on your mind more and more lately.

“You know,” you start, lifting your head to catch her eyes, “I was thinking… maybe you should move in with me.”

Leigh stiffens just a bit, her eyes darting away for a moment, and you instantly regret how fast you’ve blurted it out. You sit up, trying to backpedal, “Only if you want to, I mean... it was just a thought. You're here most nights anyway, and your toothbrush is already—”

Before you can ramble on, Leigh leans in and silences you with a gentle kiss. “Slow down,” she whispers against your lips, her smile reassuring.

You chuckle, giving her a sheepish, lopsided smile. “Right, right,” you agree, settling back down beside her. 

Leigh shifts to lie on her side, propping herself up on one elbow. Her eyes, still dark with want, sweep over your body—flushed, soft, and still quivering slightly from your efforts to pleasure her. She catches herself, though, and with a more composed motion, she pulls the blanket up to cover you, tucking it around your chest.

You look up at her, your expression ironically innocent, waiting for her to say what's on her mind.

“I’d love to,” Leigh finally says. “But do you really think it’s the right move?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve just started exploring what this is, what we could be, and I’m already planning to leave. It feels like I’m setting us up for...” Leigh doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to.

Matt's book tour looms over both of you, an ever-present shadow no matter how tightly you try to cling to each other. It's as if you believe that by melding into one with Leigh, you could somehow will her impending departure into nonexistence.

Though before you can say anything, your phone rings from the coffee table beside you. You reach over and grab it, your mom's name flashing urgently on the screen. A quick glance at the time sends a jolt through you—you were to pick her up at the airport but completely lost track of time.

Leigh sits up too, clutching the sheet to her naked torso. “What is it?”

You wince, the irony of the situation not lost on you. “It's my mom,” you explain hurriedly. “I should have left, like, half an hour ago to pick her up at the airport. She’s staying with me for a few days until right before New Year’s.” 

A moment ago, you were discussing moving in together, and now you find yourself needing to ask her to leave. 

Leigh raises an eyebrow, smiling coyly as she realizes the implications of your mother’s arrival. “And let me guess, she's staying here? In your one-bedroom palace?”

“Yeah,” you say, scrambling to get dressed. “Which means I need to air out the place, change the sheets... make it look like I live like a monk.” You stop for a second, looking at Leigh with an apologetic frown on your face. “And I kind of need to ask you to leave now. Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad?” Leigh laughs as she swings her legs out of bed and starts gathering her clothes. Once she's collected them all, she steps closer, gives you a quick kiss, and murmurs right next to your ear, “I’m furious.”

You kiss her hair gently before stepping in front of the mirror to check your appearance, making sure you don't look as disheveled as you feel.

“Gives us both some time to think about everything. The tour, us moving in, all of it,” Leigh says, slipping into her jeans.

“Absolutely,” you agree, watching her.

“Change those sheets well, huh?” she teases, zipping up her bag. “You know how moms can be.”

You grimace jokingly at her comment. “Please, don't ever use 'sheets' and 'mom' in the same sentence ever again.”

Leigh laughs again, clearly enjoying you squirm. She slings her bag over her shoulder, waiting for you to finish getting ready.

As you cap your lip gloss, an idea suddenly strikes you. Seeing Leigh's expectant look reflected in the mirror, you ask, “Hey, how about you join me to pick her up at the airport?”

Meeting your mom seems like another huge step in your relationship, but she doesn't hesitate.

“Is it okay with your mom?” she asks, a bit wary.

You shrug, taking her hand confidently. “Why wouldn't it be?”

-

Apparently, you’re the spitting image of your mother.

At least, that’s how Leigh sees it as she watches you both hug it out in the arrival section of LAX. As a fitness pundit, Leigh immediately notices your mom's excellent posture, despite her petite frame. It's the first thing she observes in anyone, and your mom is no exception. Beyond that, you both share the same quick smile and the way your eyes light up in laughter—deep brown, the color of rich coffee, which Leigh finds particularly striking. Even the gestures are mirrored; the way you both tuck hair behind your ear when nervous, or the confidence in your strides.

What distinctly sets her apart from you, though, is how intimidating your mom appears to be.

As you walk to the parking lot, holding your mom’s hand in one of yours and Leigh’s in the other, your mom chats animatedly about a hot spring resort she discovered near your hometown. Leigh keeps half a step behind, doing her best to stay engaged while keeping up with your pace.

“So, how was your flight?” Leigh asks, finding a moment to wedge herself into the conversation.

Your mom barely glances back, responding briefly before turning her attention back to you. “Long, but it’s always nice to spend Christmas with my daughter,” she says, squeezing your hand affectionately.

Leigh tries again. “It's pretty nice weather here, isn't it? I bet it's a lot colder on the East Coast right now.”

“Oh, it’s freezing out there, Leigh,” you chime in, completely oblivious to the awkward interaction between your mom and your girlfriend. 

Your mom nods but doesn't elaborate, her focus still on you. “We should stop by that bakery you always gush about,” she says, eyes bright with excitement.

Leigh's grip on your hand tightens slightly, and she lags further behind. “Oh, that store closes at five. It’s seven already,” you say. 

Desperate to connect, Leigh tries for the final time. “There are special light installations in the park for the holidays. Would you like to go see them?”

Your mom finally looks back, but her smile is thin. “I’m not much into these ‘light installations’. Too much walking.” She quickly shifts back to you. “How’s work been?”

“Work’s been busy, but manageable,” you say, glancing back at Leigh, who offers a small, strained smile.

The three of you continue to the parking lot, the conversation feeling increasingly one-sided. As you reach the car, you open the trunk and help with the bags, all the while trying to think of a way to include Leigh more naturally.

“Leigh and I were thinking of checking out that new restaurant downtown,” you say, making an effort to draw your mom's attention to her.

“Sounds nice,” your mom replies. “But actually, I'm not hungry—just a bit tired.”

Leigh’s expression falls just a bit, but she quickly masks it, helping with the last of the luggage. She figures that’s her cue to leave. 

You can’t hide your frustration. Your plan was to have a nice dinner, a proper introduction. “Are you sure, Mom? It doesn’t have to be a long meal,” you push back gently.

“Let’s just get your mom home, she’s had a long day,” Leigh tells you softly.

You glance at your mom, silently pleading for her to reconsider, but she only smiles. “Maybe another time, dear.”

Reluctantly, you agree.

-

You lead your mom into the living room, urging her to make herself comfortable while you hurry to get the bedroom ready. The sheets need changing, the windows thrown open to freshen the air, and the whole space needs a bit of tidying. 

“I’ll be right back,” you mumble, disappearing into the bedroom.

In the bedroom, you work quickly, stripping the used sheets and flinging the windows wide. You hustle, smoothing on fresh sheets, fluffing pillows, and straightening up—getting rid of all the evidence of what you and Leigh had been doing all week. 

Meanwhile, your mom isn't one to just sit around. She takes in the scattered magazines, the couch cushions askew, and the dishes piled up in the kitchen. With a small sigh, she gets up and starts putting things in order. She straightens up the living room and moves on to tackle the kitchen. Before long, the sound of running water and clinking dishes fills your tiny apartment.

When she’s done setting things in order, she starts rummaging through your fridge and pantry. With only a few ingredients at hand, she decides to make do with what you have. Soon, she's boiling spaghetti and slicing hotdogs to toss into the mix. This dish was a childhood favorite of yours and remains a go-to comfort food. As soon as the familiar aroma wafts through the air, you find yourself irresistibly drawn toward the kitchen.

“Is that...?” you start, a delighted smile spreading across your face at the sight of the generous layer of shredded cheese melting over the thick red sauce.

“Sit down and eat while it's hot,” your mom commands with a warm smile.

You don’t need to be told twice.  Fork in hand, you dive into the spaghetti as though you haven't eaten in days. Considering your usual diet of takeout and quick fixes, that's not too far from the truth. You chat about small, inconsequential things—the new coffee shop you tried last week, the remarkable cases you’ve encountered in the clinic this month, the shows you’ve been watching on Netflix. 

Finishing your meal, you lean back with a satisfied sigh, feeling truly content for the first time in a long while.

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“So... what do you think of Leigh?”

“So that’s Leigh, huh?” Your mom pauses, setting down her cup of tea with deliberate care. “The widow of the guy you unknowingly dated for a while, not realizing he was married?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” you confirm, nodding slowly as your nerves start to build. The last time you brought up Leigh to your mom, you were almost ready to throw in the towel until she urged you to give it another shot. Now, more than anything, you're hoping she'll give her approval.

She nods thoughtfully, then with a sly grin, says, “Well, she's definitely out of your league.”

“Mom!” you exclaim, embarrassed.

She chuckles, clearly pleased with her little joke.

“Come on, be serious,” you plead.

Your mom clasps her hands on the table, and gives you that look—the one that means business. You can't help but roll your eyes at her theatrics, clearly aimed at getting a rise out of you.

“Leigh seems lovely,” she says. You can tell she’s sincere and that makes you sigh in relief. “And I really appreciate how she tried to engage with me earlier.”

You relax slightly, but then, as you replay the earlier interactions in your mind, you realize Leigh seemed frustrated and your mom wasn’t as welcoming as she usually is. Your face scrunches up as this sinks in.

“Wait, you were really standoffish to Leigh earlier!”

She holds up her hands in a half-shrug, her smirk fading into a more thoughtful expression. “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to come off that way at all,” she says. “I guess I was just being overprotective. You know, considering how everything started between you two.”

You appreciate her motherly instincts but wish she'd given Leigh a fairer chance from the start. “I get it, Mom. But Leigh is really important to me now. It would mean a lot if you could try to get to know her better. For me?”

“Of course, sweetie,” she says. “What do you need?”

“Well, for starters…” you start, pausing as you try to find the right way to explain. You're about to share that you'll be spending Christmas dinner with the Shaws this year. It's always been just the two of you for the holidays, so you're not sure how she'll take the news of including others she hardly knows. “You’ll have an opportunity to bond with her the day after tomorrow.”

“What’s on Tuesday?”

“Christmas Eve dinner,” you reply. “At the Shaws.”

“Dinner at your girlfriend’s?” she clarifies.

You nod, your lip catching between your teeth. It still feels a little surreal—exciting, actually—being able to call Leigh your girlfriend. “Yeah, Mom. I thought it’d be nice for us to join them this year.”

Instead of giving an outright yes, she asks, “What should I bring? I want to make a good impression.”

You stand up and walk around the table to give her a hug. She wraps her arms around you and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Thank you,” you mutter into her shoulder. “Maybe bring your blueberry pie? Everyone loves that.”

“You love it,” she says cheerily. “Consider it done.”

Slipping back into old habits, you start clearing the dinner dishes, just like you used to when you lived with her. As you stack dishes and run water in the sink, your mom begins unpacking her bags in your bedroom. As you scrub the dishes, thoughts of following Leigh and leaving everything here behind start to overwhelm you. Once the kitchen is spotless and the last dish is put away, you realize you can't keep these feelings bottled up any longer. 

You call out to your mother as you dry your hands on a kitchen towel. A few seconds later, she reappears in the living room, her face expectant.

“Hey, uhm,” you say, not knowing how to start. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Go on,” she urges gently.

You take a deep breath before continuing, “Matt’s comic book is getting published posthumously. The publishing company wants Leigh to join a tour to promote the book, and I'm… I’m thinking of joining her.”

Your mom's expression becomes inscrutable as she processes the information. She walks to the couch and takes a seat. After a long pause, she asks, “What will happen to your clinic here?” 

You look down, fidgeting with the towel in your hands, and then meet her gaze. “I’ve thought about that,” you say. “I’d need to find someone to cover for me. It wouldn’t be easy, but... I feel like I need to be there for Leigh. This is important to her, and… she’s everything to me.”

You try to read her reaction, but every line on her face remains perfectly still and composed. “Is it because you want to be there for her,” she says slowly, “or because you're afraid that if she leaves, you might lose her?”

Your eyes drop to the floor, and that's answer enough for your mother.

“Come here,” she says, patting the empty spot on the couch next to her. Wordlessly, you oblige.

“It's okay to be scared,” she whispers. “Loving someone means taking risks. Just remember, you need to be true to yourself as well. Leigh is important, but so are you.”

“I just don’t want to regret not giving my all to see this through with her,” you say.

“You love her,” she states, not as a question, but as a fact.

“I really do,” you say quietly.

“I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”

-

Your mom's words stay with you throughout the night. As you lie in bed, you can hear her soft breathing, her back turned to you.

You’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.

Your phone vibrates gently beneath your pillow, and you smile when you see a message from Leigh.

Leigh [10:45 PM]: Can’t sleep. I miss you.

You [10:45 PM]: Miss you too.

She doesn't reply, but she fills your head well into the night. The future is uncertain, but one thing feels right: going with Leigh on her tour is the decision that brings you peace.

-

Christmas Eve dinner arrives sooner than you expected.

Pulling up to the Shaws' house, you're amazed by the decorations that the siblings have tirelessly worked on for the past two days. The house is transformed into a festive wonderland, with twinkling lights draped over every surface, garlands of holly framing the windows, and a towering Christmas tree visible through the living room window, adorned with shimmering ornaments and tinsel.

You watch your mom's reaction as you both step out of the car, seeing the lights reflected in her awe-filled eyes. You beam at her, proud of your girlfriend's decorating skills and holiday spirit.

You and your mom walk up to the doorstep. She clutches her much-loved blueberry pie, which you’re looking forward to having a hearty slice of tonight, while you carefully hold Leigh's gift—a Lego typewriter modeled after a vintage 1950s design. You feel a twinge of nervousness about how she’ll receive your gift.

Moments later, the door swings open to reveal Leigh, all dressed up, and for a moment, you're speechless. Leigh has always been beautiful. No matter what she wears—be it casual joggers, sleek dresses, or even just her underwear—she never fails to leave an impression. Tonight is no different; she takes your breath away all over again.

“Merry Christmas!” Leigh greets brightly. “Almost, anyway,” she adds with a nervous laugh.

“Your decorations are incredible,” your mom says, smiling at her.

“Oh, thank you!” Leigh replies, her cheeks flushing at the unexpected compliment. 

“Where should I put this?” your mom asks, holding up her pie.

“You didn’t have to, but wow, that looks amazing! Come on in, I'll show you,” Leigh says, stepping aside to let you both in. She leads you to the kitchen, where the smells of holiday cooking are even stronger. “You can set it right here,” she points to a spot on the counter already laden with various dishes and desserts.

Just as your mom sets the pie on the counter, Amy walks in. Leigh introduces her mom, and the two women share friendly greetings before Amy’s attention quickly turns to the blueberry pie. They dive into a lively discussion about cooking, swapping recipes as if they’ve known each other for years.

Leigh turns to you, her eyes shining. “I'm so glad you’re here now,” she says softly, her fingers lightly brushing against yours. Craving more contact, you gently grasp her hand and guide her to the backyard where Logan is nonchalantly marking a geranium. With no one around now, you draw Leigh close and kiss her deeply. Leigh responds just as fervently, her hand coming to rest on your waist and then squeezing, making you moan into her mouth. She takes advantage of the moment, slipping her tongue in. Her other hand finds its way to your neck, pulling you even closer. You can feel her heartbeat against your chest, matching the rhythm of your own.

When you finally pull back, breathless, you rest your forehead against hers. Leigh's eyes are half-lidded, her lips slightly swollen, tempting you to lean in once more. Just as you're about to, she finally takes notice of the enormous box under your arm.

“Is that for me?”

“Yes,” you say, handing it to her. “I hope you like it.”

Leigh's eyes widen as she takes her gift, her excitement further lighting up her soulful green eyes.

“I've got something for you too,” she says, giving the box a little shake. “It's upstairs in my bedroom. Want to get it now?”

You shake your head, matching her giddy smile. “Maybe later. If you take me to your bedroom now, I can't promise we'll be back in time for dinner,” you say.

Leigh chuckles. Honestly, she feels the same way. “Well then, can I open this now?” she asks.

“Absolutely! Go ahead. I really hope you like it.”

Leigh quickly starts unwrapping your gift, her fingers deftly tearing through the wrapping paper. As the paper falls away, her eyes widen in pleasant surprise at the sight of the Lego typewriter.

“Oh my gosh, it's perfect! Thank you so much!” She carefully places it on the ground before wrapping you in a tight embrace.

“You're welcome,” you whisper, circling your arms around her waist and pulling her close.

When she pulls back, her eyes are brimming with happiness and something deeper—pure, unfiltered love. She stares at you, her gaze soft and intense, as if she's seeing you for the first time.

“I can't believe you remembered,” she says, referring to a conversation you had weeks prior. “This means so much to me.”

You smile, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

Something in your words strikes a chord within her. Without thinking, she blurts out, “Come with me to Matt's comic book tour.”

Her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what she's just said. But she doesn't take it back; instead, she buries her face in your neck, breathing in your scent. With each breath, she finds the idea of being apart from you increasingly unbearable.

“I want you to be there with me,” she continues with more conviction. “I can't imagine doing this without you.”

She pulls back slightly, needing to see your reaction. In your eyes, she finds the same depth of love she feels for you, mirrored back at her.

“As you wish,” you whisper, leaning in to seal your promise with a kiss.

-

Dinner is a success, largely due to Amy's and your mom's excellent cooking skills. The pasta prepared by Leigh and Jules wasn't a total disaster, but it had its mishaps. After the first batch turned too soggy—practically mush—Jules had to dash out in the middle of dinner to buy another pack of pasta.

Leigh’s father made a brief appearance with his new family, stirring a bit of awkwardness between the exes. Luckily, your mother defused the tension by suggesting a family game. It wasn’t long before laughter filled the room, with Jules energetically shouting clues at those struggling to guess the words on their foreheads.

In the middle of the game, Leigh volunteers to do the dishes. You offer to help, but Jules quickly drags you out of your seat to be the next one to guess the word. While you’re preoccupied, your mom quietly slips out of the living room and follows Leigh into the kitchen.

Leigh is surprised to see your mom. “I've got this,” she assures her with a polite smile. Despite your mom having considerably warmed up to her, Leigh still feels a bit anxious in her presence.

Your mom simply picks up some dinnerware that has already been washed and starts wiping them dry with a towel. “Do you know why Y/N became a veterinarian?” she asks casually.

Leigh smiles, recalling your story about Max, the first animal you ever helped. “Yes, she told me about rescuing a pup. It was really touching,” she says, her eyes softening at the memory.

Your mom observes Leigh, who has already returned to busily washing the dishes. “That’s right. But there’s more to it,” she says.

Leigh stops what she’s doing and tilts her head. “What do you mean by that?” she asks.

“Y/N did get into veterinary school,” your mom begins, placing a dry plate on the stack. “But she dropped out after the first semester. She had this deep-seated dream of traveling the world.”

Leigh listens attentively, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

“Her father and older brother are both veterinarians, running a small clinic in our town. Naturally, they encouraged her to follow the same path,” your mom continues, “and while she loved animals, she also wanted to explore every corner of the world ever since she was a kid.”

Leigh's hands pause in the sudsy water as she absorbs every word.

“Her father gave her his blessing, and off she went. She traveled the world for two years.”

“What brought her back?” Leigh asks.

Your mom takes a deep breath, her knuckles whitening as she grips the towel more tightly. “H-Her father and brother were killed in a car accident,” she says, each word seeming to be painfully forced out of her.

Leigh's hand flies to her mouth in horror. “Oh no, I... I didn’t know,” she stammers, feeling a rush of guilt and confusion. Why hadn’t this crucial detail come up before?

“It was a terrible time,” your mom says quietly, “but it brought her back home.”

Leigh is silent, guilt gnawing at her for not knowing such a significant detail of your life. She’s been so caught up in sharing her own thoughts and plans, and you’ve always been the listener, never pressing her to ask about your past. She realizes now how little she’s asked about your family.

Leigh abandons her chore altogether. “W-What happened then?”

“After the accident, without their expertise, we couldn't keep the clinic running,” your mom replies, her voice steadier now but still tinged with sadness. “We had to put it up for sale. It was devastating to lose what they had worked so hard for.

“For a long time, Y/N was depressed. She blamed herself for not being there in the last two years, for putting her own interests first. And with the clinic gone, she felt like she had failed to preserve their legacy.”

Leigh is at a loss for words, her eyes growing bleary. “I’m—” 

“Being a housewife all those years, I suddenly found myself needing to help put food on the table so Y/N could go back to school,” your mom explains. “For a year, she was just a shell of herself, hardly the vibrant person you know now.”

Needing a moment to process all these revelations, Leigh moves to the dining table and sits down. Her legs feel weak at the thought of you being so heartbroken. She knows grief all too well. Losing one person she loved nearly destroyed her; she can't imagine losing two at once.

“Y/N is the most… beautiful, wonderful and well-adjusted person I know,” Leigh says after a while. “I wouldn't have guessed she went through all that.”

“My daughter is a miracle,” your mom states with a soft smile.

“Thank you for telling me all this,” Leigh says sincerely.  “It means a lot to understand what she’s been through.”

Your mom nods and says, “I'm not telling you this just because you're her girlfriend. I'm telling you because I know she’s planning to follow you and leave her practice here in LA behind.”

Leigh's breath hitches as she takes it all in. Learning about your father and brother, she realizes she nearly forgot what she asked of you just hours ago. It's not just a job or a business you're leaving behind—it's a dream that keeps their memory alive, a part of you where they still live on.

“Please, don't ask her to leave everything behind,” your mom says, her voice almost pleading. “Just promise her that you'll come back for her.”

It’s not an easy promise to make—or keep. The mere uncertainty of what lies ahead holds her back. She can't stand the idea of breaking a promise to you or betraying your trust in any way.

Leigh's silence stretches on, and your mom speaks again. “If you can't promise to come back for her, just end it. Don't let it drag on. She's tougher than she knows. It'll hurt, but she won't be alone—I'll be there, and so will her friends and coworkers.”

Leigh balks at her. “I don't want to rush into a decision.”

But your mom isn't listening. Her concern cuts through her caution, compelling her to share more. “After we lost half our family, she was never the same. She’d sacrifice everything for someone she loves, always skeptical of a second chance. She loves like there's no tomorrow.”

It’s the one thing your mother said tonight that rings truest about you. You do love as if it's the last thing you'll ever do.

Before Leigh can respond, Amy walks in, sensing the tension immediately. “Is everything alright?” she asks, her eyes darting between Leigh and your mom.

Leigh suddenly realizes she's been crying, and so has your mom. Your mother excuses herself to the bathroom, leaving Amy looking concerned and bewildered.

“What was that about?” Amy asks.

Leigh, shaken and overwhelmed, struggles to speak. “I-I need to get the gifts for everyone. They're upstairs,” she stammers, then quickly heads to the bedroom, needing to escape and collect herself.

Amy watches Leigh leave, then reaches for the blueberry pie, trying not to read too much into the haunted look in her daughter’s eyes.

-

It’s a cold January evening when Leigh finally gathers the courage to talk to you. Your mother flew back to Maine three days after Boxing Day, and the rest of the holidays passed by in pure bliss. The two of you are curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, the remnants of dinner still on the coffee table. She’s been avoiding this conversation, clinging to the hope that something might change. But the more she thinks about the family you lost when you were younger, the more convinced she becomes that your mother was right.

“Can we talk?” Leigh’s voice is soft, almost drowned out by the movie playing in the background.

You mute the TV and turn to her, a look of concern immediately crossing your face. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about our future,” Leigh says slowly.

It doesn’t immediately ring any alarm bells in your head, but your heart starts to race. “Okay…” you murmur. You can't help but notice her hands twisting nervously in her lap. You reach out to steady them, and as she looks up, her resolve breaks.

“I love you. You mean the world to me, but…I don’t know if it’s right for you to come with me.”

You frown, eyebrows stitched together in confusion and denial. “Leigh, what are you talking about?”

She looks away, her hands slipping from your grasp as she inches further into her corner of the couch. “I can’t be the reason you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for,” she says.

“I’m not,” you reassure her, trying to keep calm. “It’s just for a little while, right? Less than six months on tour. And it's not like we'll be non-stop; the schedule allows breaks. We can come back home in between. We’ve discussed this, remember? We have a plan in place.”

Leigh grows quiet, her gaze fixed on a spot on the floor. She takes a long breath through her nose, as if preparing herself for something even harder to say. “That's the thing,” she whispers. “I might not come back.”

Everything around you stills.

“What do you mean, you might not come back?”

Leigh’s eyes remained glued to the floor. “For the longest time, I’ve thought about leaving. Now that Jules is embarking on her own trip to Vietnam, and Mom is planning a long vacation in Europe, it feels like the best time to explore what's out there.”

“Leigh, we've been planning this together. It's just a tour. We'll be back,” you reiterate in frustration, starting to grasp at straws.

She merely shakes her head. “Everything about this place reminds me of Matt—both the good and the bad memories. Maybe I—”

“Great. The Matt card again,” you snap.

Leigh bristles at your comment. She stands abruptly and begins to pace. Seething. “Card?” she retorts sharply. “This is my life, my pain—”

“And you’ve just been running away from it all!” you counter, standing up too. “Running away from me!”

“Didn't you?” she fires back, her voice breaking. 

“What—”

“Didn't you do the same thing when you lost your—” Leigh can't finish the sentence. It hurts too much to even say it.

You take a step back, shocked. “How did you—”

“Your mom told me.”

The room certainly feels like it's closing in. Unable to stand any longer, your legs give out, and you collapse onto the couch, burying your face in your hands and massaging your temples. Leigh watches you for a moment, then sits beside you. She reaches out tentatively but pulls back, unsure of what to say or do.

Your hands fall away from your face, and you turn to her, your eyes filled with pain and betrayal. “You learned about me losing my dad and my brother, and your response is to... leave me as well?”

Leigh's eyes fill with tears again, and she looks away, unable to hold your gaze. “It’s not like that,” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“What if I promise that the clinic will be okay? Foreman can manage things while I’m away, I trust him,” you suggest, your voice wavering as the reality of the situation starts to consume you.

Leigh shakes her head, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I can't,” she murmurs. “I can’t feel good about myself knowing I'm pulling you away from something important to you.”

“But you're what's important to me, Leigh,” you argue weakly.

“That’s not how it works, Y/N,” Leigh says, trying to fight more tears threatening to spill over. “It’s too imbalanced. We don’t need a relationship where one of us is sacrificing too much. That’s not healthy for either of us.”

You sit in stunned silence, her words sinking in. You've always been willing to sacrifice for the people you love, but now you see how it could be a burden for Leigh. 

You swallow hard, trying to compose yourself, the words sticking in your throat. “And you think the best for us is to be apart?”

She nods reluctantly. “I think the best for you is to not have to choose between your love and your life's work. I can't ask you to put anything on hold, not for me.”

“But I choose you, Leigh,” you say, tears now streaming down your face. “Doesn't that count for something?”

Leigh can’t help herself any longer. She moves closer, needing to comfort you despite being the source of your pain.

“It does,” she whispers, gently wiping away your tears with her thumb. “It counts for everything. But I need to know that you're not losing yourself to be with me. I can't live with that.”

With that, she pulls you close. You hold each other tightly, falling asleep on the narrow sofa, clinging to each other as if letting go would mean losing everything.

But by the time the sun has risen high in the sky, Leigh is already gone.

-

There are days when you feel bitter about Leigh deciding to break up with you, especially with weeks still left before the tour begins. You oscillate between anger at her decision and a reluctant acceptance that it might have been the right choice for both of you. More often than not, the anger prevails, leading you to drink yourself to sleep, only to wake up the next day to discover that nothing has changed.

Leigh is still leaving.

-

To your surprise, Amy willingly provides you with Leigh's flight itinerary out of Los Angeles. In the days leading up to her departure, you find yourself constantly formulating and discarding plans. Will you show up at the airport and whisk her away? Convince her to change her mind? Perhaps even show up with your own suitcase, ready to join her if you can persuade her at the last minute that she’s making a huge mistake?

Ultimately, none of your scenarios play out. However, you do find yourself at the airport, arriving ten minutes before her boarding gate closes. There, you spot Leigh standing in the lobby with a small suitcase. In that instant, you feel like you’ve accepted—for real this time—her decision to do this on her own.

You watch from the shadows as her gaze darts around as if searching for someone. Your heart swells with a mix of hope and sorrow, realizing she might be looking for you. You stay hidden, watching as she pulls out her phone and dials a number. Your phone vibrates in your back pocket. With your eyes still on her, you answer it.

“Hey, it's me,” Leigh starts awkwardly, as if implying that you might not remember how she sounds. You haven’t spoken to each other in weeks.

“I know it's you,” you reply softly.

“I'm about to board,” she says, and you can hear the reluctance in her voice.

“I see,” you say, struggling to contain the emotions that might slip through the cracks of your nonchalance. “Did you pack some food for the flight?”

She laughs, a tearful sound that squeezes your heart. “Yes, I picked up some donuts.”

“Sounds unhealthy, Ms. Shaw. Try to order some broccoli in-flight,” you tease her lightly.

“I hate broccoli,” she deadpans, her voice layered with a stubbornness you know well.

Then, she asks the harder questions, “Where are you? What are you doing?”

You mull it over, caught between honesty and the need to protect her decision. “I'm just hanging out in the clinic,” you lie, unwilling to reveal that you are there, watching her last moments before departure. “Will you call me when you land?”

She sounds like she wants to protest, but you cut in, “I need to know you're safe. It would really help me to know you're okay out there.”

After a few seconds, she agrees softly, “Okay, I'll call.”

“I’ll wait,” you say. “However long it takes,” you add, leaving the meaning of those words open for her to interpret.

They announce final boarding.

“Listen, I—I have to go,” Leigh says quickly. “Please, take care. Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Goodbye, Leigh,” you manage to say, your voice catching as you watch her walk away.

You end the call and pocket your phone. Watching her wipe away a tear and head towards her gate is almost too much to bear. You allow yourself a moment, a small smile playing on your lips, proud of her courage and saddened by her departure. You’ll be waiting for her call, but if it never comes, you'll understand. These moments don't erase the past several months you've spent getting to know Leigh.

And you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

-

At exactly ten in the evening, Leigh calls you from Boston.

[wandussyfantasy]

Hey buddy

I have a request for Leigh Shaw and GN! Reader w peepee :)

Reader and Leigh have been a friends with benefits type of thing. Leigh also made it clear about no feelings since she wasn't over losing matt and she just needed a distraction. It isn't until she hears that Y/N has been going on a date with Becca, another widow from grief group.

Leigh then confronts reader about it and she realises in that moment that she has feelings for them which she tells them and then walks away. Ghosting them until they confront her at her home while Amy and Jules are out. They tell her how she has ruined their growing relationship with Becca by making them realise that they have always felt the same. Resulting in Leigh bringing them in for a passionate kiss and reader then asking if they can take her on a date.

Thank you awesome dude.

Love Me or Leave Me

Summary: You and Leigh have a special arrangement that gets disrupted when she finds out that you have been dating her friend, Becca.

Pairings: Leigh Shaw x NB!AMAB!Reader

Word Count: 6,749

WARNINGS:

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT READ & DO NOT INTERACT!!!

smut, gn!reader amab, powerbottom!leigh, fingering, dirty talk, fluff, agnst, car hookup, fantasies, teasing, foreplay, and creampie.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

“‘What is grief, if not love persevering?’” The nerdy grief counselor reads out to the group from his notebook. “How can we relate this line to ourselves and our own experiences with grief?” 

You sigh and look over to see that Leigh is just as unimpressed as you are with the new counselor. The one that usually led this group had to move to another state and so the organization has been trying to find a replacement. Unfortunately, the only people volunteering their time to help people with loss either haven’t experienced it themselves or are fresh out of college with psychology degrees they have no clue what to do with. You clear your throat and scratch behind your ear before you fake a phone call and leave the group. “I am so sorry, it’s my mother,” you excuse yourself as some regulars in the group try not to snicker. You walk out to your car and without much thought, you move it to a more secluded spot in the dark parking lot and swipe through a dating app as you wait.

Leigh knocks on your window a few minutes later. “I thought you wanted to give this guy a chance,” she says as she climbs on your lap. 

“I did, until he started quoting a comic book character,” you kiss her to trigger the physical response you needed in order to feel something other than the annoyance and the pain of your loss. She is grinding against your bulge to help you harden. It doesn't take you long, it's been almost a full week since the last time the two of you have met up for this since you went on a short trip with your friends. “You look very pretty in this dress by the way,” you compliment her as you dip your fingers in her panties to rub her clitoris. 

“Shut up,” she says, she thinks you only like it because of the easy access you'll have to her. But then again, that's why she chose to wear the dress in the first place. Leigh wasn't much for wearing dresses unless there was an occasion. Her mom was curious as she left the house and although this is the time Leigh normally attended the group, she began to wonder if her daughter was using that as a cover now and hoped that she was going on a date. You kiss as much of her exposed skin as you can while you finger Leigh and as much as she is enjoying the way your fingers know how to move, that's not what she is looking to penetrate her. She pulls your head up from her chest and kisses you hard. “Fuck me already,” she whispers impatiently. 

“Alright,” you say as you unzip your pants and pull out your dick. “So bossy,” you grumble as you penetrate her. “But fuck, I’m not complaining,” you grunt as soon as her warm walls envelope your thick cock. Leigh holds onto the seat as she rides you until she realizes that something is missing. 

“You have a condom on right?” She asks through breaths as she continues to move her body up and down on your lap. 

“Uh,” you try to figure out the best way to tell her that you don't have one on and the best way at the moment as your brain is clouded with lust is, “No.” 

She doesn't stop moving as she hits you upside your head. “Why not?!” 

“You told me to fuck you already. It's not a big deal, I'll pull out. Oooh this feels so good.” You say as you continue to meet your hips with hers. You start to kiss her body and get even more turned on when you realize she doesn't actually mind that you're fucking her raw. 

“Do you use them when you go on dates?” She asks as she slows down. Pregnancy wasn't her concern. She doesn't want to contract anything, she's gone this long without ever getting anything, she wants to continue that streak. 

“No,” you start out plainly just to mess with. This time she stops moving completely and looks at you with wide eyes. You break into a smile. “I don't sleep with my dates. It's only been you since we started this arrangement. I'm clean, I promise. I got tested weeks ago.” 

Leigh sighs as she wraps her arms around the back of the seat. You move your hands from her thighs to her ass. “Don’t scare me like that again, it's not funny.” She moves her hips in a small circle motion and you moan as you tip your head back as you promise not to do that again. With your neck exposed to her, Leigh does something she never really does. She leans in and starts to softly kiss your neck until she reaches a spot that depending on the shirt you'll be wearing after this, may or may not hide the mark she is about to leave. 

As you feel her sucking on your skin you start to pound into her as you're getting so close to finishing. “How close are you?” You ask as you pick up the pace.

“Almost… almost there,” she pants out as she grips onto you. 

“Where should I…?” you ask as you feel the build up of your impending climax. The answer that Leigh almost gives, surprises her and puts her over the edge as she imagines the way it would feel like to have your cock pulsing inside of her, filling her up with your semen. It's been so long since she's felt that. It was a surprisingly extremely rare occasion with her husband. Since he didn't want kids and was on and off depression medication they rarely had sex without a condom and even if they did, he almost never came because the medicine made it difficult for him. As she orgasms her walls clench around you almost as if they were trying to milk you. Her body is tempted to feel your release in full as she has felt you cum inside of her a few times with the condom on. But she wasn't going to feel it tonight. She pulls herself off of your cock, impressed that you held off your release and she grabs a napkin from the passenger's seat, you typically ate something on the way to the meetings. She covers the tip of your penis and uses her other hand on the base to help you cum. You groan as you empty into her hand. 

“I'll see you later,” she kisses your cheek and exits your car. 

Later that month, Leigh is meeting with Becca for tea before Leigh’s next class. The young widow is still teaching at her mother's women's health studio and Becca attends a class when she can to stay fit and stay connected with Leigh. The two have grown closer as Leigh finally started to let people in, slowly but surely, and Becca has learned to respect Leigh's need for space. 

“So, I've been seeing someone,” Becca starts as she stirs her tea slowly with an anxious smirk as she tries to contain her excitement. 

“Really?” Leigh is surprised, she didn't know that Becca was dating. 

“Yeah,” Becca starts and waits for Leigh to press for more information and once she does, Becca's act falls apart as she spills all of her secrets. “So, you know Y/n, from group? That guy that lost his mom? He's also in some indie band that in my opinion is totally underrated and-” 

“Isn’t Y/n nonbinary?” Leigh cuts Becca off, she didn't like it when people misgendered others, especially not when it's you. 

“Yes! Oh shit, did I say 'he'? Damnit,” she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I'm still learning this whole gender and pronouns thing. Anyway it's Y/n. We've been on a few dates lately and I think it could turn into something. That's if I don't screw it up. Ugh, I hope I don't. I really like him- them! I like them.” Becca hangs her head. “I swear, I'm not doing this on purpose.”

Leigh remains quiet as she processes this information. She had your tongue inside of her just this morning when she accidentally broke a rule and spent the night at your place. Now she's finding out that you're dating her friend? “It’s fine, I think. I don't know. My sister knows more about it than I do. She says that some people don't mind the mess ups as long as you respect their preferences and don't use the wrong pronouns intentionally.” Leigh says to comfort the girl sitting across from her, giving herself a hard time. 

“Ok,” Becca relaxes her shoulders. “But um yeah, what do you think? Is it bad that I'm going out with them? I mean, yeah, we sort of met at the group but we didn't start talking until we matched on a dating app. I completely didn't recognize them on their profile until we met in person.” Leigh asks if you recognized her on the app and Becca laughs. “They did! They said that's why they felt comfortable asking me out like an hour after we matched and they thought I recognized them too. We had a laugh about it. They're really great, I think the two of you would get along if you wanted more friends.” 

Leigh plasters on a fake smile as she tries to ignore the pain this conversation is causing her. She cannot believe that you started to date Becca without telling her when you knew the two of them are friends. “How long have you been going out?” 

“Oh we’ve been going on what he calls 'intentional dates' once a week every week this month but we hang out all of the time. Except when either of us is busy, which they tend to be. But it's okay, they send me cute messages when we're apart. We haven't been physical yet though, we kiss a lot but when I try to make it more, he stops anything from happening. Oh no, you don't think he might be gay do you?” She has a hand over her chest as she worries about what the lack of a physical connection could mean.

Leigh shakes her head as she sips her tea. “No, I'm sure they're trying to be respectful. I mean, your husband died while serving in the military and they have a band that hardly anyone has ever heard of. It can be intimidating,” she reassures her friend while subtly correcting her. Leigh wonders how often Becca messes up when it comes to how you identify. Leigh never fucks that up and doesn't know how people do. Right now, she can't even figure out what you see in this girl. Sure, Leigh knows you're dating around. But as far as she knew, they were meaningless dates that never got anywhere. She didn't consider what it would be like if you actually found someone that you were interested in. Leigh picks up her phone and sends a risky photo she has been debating for sometime on whether or not she should ever send it to you and adds the message, I need you tonight.

“You are so right, Leigh. They don’t know about how bad my marriage was before my husband died. Maybe I should make the first move!” Becca suggests and that sends images to Leigh’s head that upsets her. She doesn’t want to share you with her. She doesn’t want to share you with anyone. Especially since the two of you have been talking about maybe having more sex without a condom. She wanted to feel you coming inside of her but now she can’t have that if you’re seeing someone exclusively. She probably can’t have you at all if you continue to date Becca. Then Becca gets a message and her grin disappears. “Awe bummer, they canceled our date for tonight,” she frowns. 

“Oh no, did they say why?” Leigh sips her tea as she poorly hides her enjoyment. 

“Yeah, they have band practice. They’re going to let me know when they can reschedule.” She sets her phone on the table. “You don’t think they might be pulling away because they’re intimidated by my dead husband right?”

Leigh shakes her head, “Becca, you’re overthinking it. Have they ever given you reason to worry they’re not being truthful?” 

“No,” Becca says as she thinks about it for a moment. “Well, other than the mark he had on our first date. It was like right here and I thought it was a hickey but he said he got it when wrestling with one of their bandmates.” 

Leigh clenches her jaw as she remembers making that mark. How could you lie to her friend like that? To someone who is so trusting and sees the best in people. Then she gets a reply from you stating that you’re free tonight and will make dinner so they have something to eat after. The both of you know it’s against the rules to share a meal so close to having sex. Since the arrangement was friends with benefits, it wasn’t against the rules to share a meal and they have shared many friendly meals. She has even had you over for a meal with her mom and sister a few times. But when it was shared after having sex at night, it left the option of her falling asleep and spending the night again. Which she already did last night. After the first time that happened and she woke up comfortable and in your arms, she freaked out and didn't talk to you for two weeks and that's when it became a rule. It has only happened a couple times since but you always make sure you're up before she is. 

Leigh knows she's breaking many rules with that picture and request, and she knows that you know it as well. The fact that you don't seem to mind it at all gives Leigh a warm feeling inside. She is the person you would rather spend your time with. “What’s that smile for? Do you have a hot date tonight?” Becca asks as she finishes her tea. 

“What?” Leigh breaks from her thoughts and drops her smile. “No, I just, no. Um look at the time, we better get to the studio. I'm the instructor, I can't be late to my own class.” Leigh gathers her things and Becca follows as she gets ready to leave as well. 

When Leigh arrives at your apartment, she is wearing the sexiest outfit she could find in her sister's closet. Jules was more than happy to lend the outfit and bit her tongue in asking too many questions, she was having fun dressing her sister up. It was another rule broken. Never dress up for sex. It's just sex, come as you are. She was starting to worry that she has broken too many rules by now. No more than one meeting within 48-hours. No sleepovers, unless absolutely necessary. No nudes. No meals together after sex. No jealousy. No preventing the other from getting into a relationship, unless absolutely necessary. No feelings, just sex. But the look you have when you open that door says it all. You don't care about the rules anymore. She wonders if you ever have. 

Leigh greets you with a kiss, it's slow and deep. Unusual to the heated rushed ones you're used to. But you don't mind the change. “I have to say, that picture was quite the surprise,” you start as you guide her to the bedroom. 

“So was your tongue this morning,” Leigh says as she bites her lip. “I thought you deserved a gift as a thank you.” 

You hum, “Well, I didn't need one but it is very appreciated.” You walk her towards the bed with your hands on her hips. “You look stunning tonight, you rule breaker,” you have your lips on her neck as the two of you fall on the bed. 

Leigh lets out a soft giggle in acknowledgement. “You noticed?”

“Of course I noticed, you practically gave me an exam on the rules before the first time we slept together. Well… technically the second time. The first time was an oopsy that got us to the rules.” You lightly remind her as you continue to kiss her body. You love her tastes and her sounds and the way she knows your body like no one ever has before. “What drove you to this?” 

“Don't worry about it, let's just focus on making each other feel good,” Leigh says as she reaches between the two of you to stroke your cock. You don't argue or question her. You rock your hips into her hand until you have to pull away from her to undress. Leigh rises from the bed as you sit next to her and start pulling your pants down. Once your shirt is off, Leigh stands in front of you and when you're not paying attention to her she lifts your chin with her finger. “Watch me,” she says as she kisses your lips. 

You are surprised by her again. Leigh starts to do a little strip tease for you. Pulling her clothing off slower than she ever has before. The way she sways her body around and removes the clothing is unpracticed and a little goofy but you don't laugh, you sit there and stroke your penis as you watch her. You lick your lips as you think about being inside of her again. There isn't anything else on your mind but being with Leigh right now. 

However, Leigh is stressing herself out. She can't tell if you're enjoying her little routine or if you think she is being ridiculous. She rushes the ending of her little performance, thinking what Becca might do in this situation. She isn't sure, she doesn't know if Becca would be a slow and patient lover or a fast paced “let's get this over with” lover. Maybe she has kinks and fetishes. Maybe she's vanilla… Leigh can be pretty vanilla. Did you like that? Did you find her boring? Is that why you continue to date even though you have a sexual relationship with her? “Fuck, that was hot,” you whisper as she presses her naked body to yours, breaking her from her spiraling thoughts. You crawl back further on the bed, pulling her with you, and lean against the headboard. “I should have woken you up with a morning cunnilingus ages ago if this is the thanks I would've gotten,” you kiss her and Leigh smiles for a second until she reminds herself why she is acting this way. 

Leigh is on a mission to make you see that you don't need Becca when you have her. No feelings. The rules echo in her head. This is just sex and friendship, nothing more. She tries to remind herself. At the moment she can't figure out how she ended up in this arrangement in the first place. Maybe it was something to do with that thing Becca mentioned to her about being touch starved. Maybe it was finding out that Matt had an emotional affair with his colleague. She could blame the arrangement on being a young widow and not wanting to give her heart to someone yet. Gosh she was a broken record lately. No wonder you were looking for something or more so someone more stable. 

Your lips bring her back to the moment as you travel her body. “You’re so beautiful,” the compliment warns her heart, you don't normally compliment her so much. And under different circumstances, she might have left and not called you for a week but she loves how soft you're being with her right now. She hadn't realized how sweet you are until the thought of losing you started to become a reality. 

“Let’s take it slow tonight,” she whispers as she lets go of the manic energy she came in with. 

“Okay,” you caress her cheek as you agree. She leans into your touch as you do. You move your fingers under her chin and guide her into a slow kiss. She melts against you as your lips move together. You swiftly move the two of you so that you're on top of her. “Lay on your stomach,” you say. Leigh makes a face. “Just trust me.” 

“Alright,” she flips onto her stomach and pulls the pillows under her arms to prop herself up comfortably. The mattress creeks as you leave the bed to retrieve the massage oil and Leigh lifts her head up. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m going to give you a massage,” you say as you return with the oil. You straddle her legs, your cock laying against her soft bottom, rubbing the oil on your hands before you start to spread it in her back. You are slow and careful with where you apply pressure. Leigh has never been given a massage as part of sex before and she wasn't sure how she felt about it yet. She couldn't deny that it felt good though, you really seemed to know what you were doing. As you rub her shoulders, you start to kiss her neck and as you move your hands lower, your lips and body follow. 

You take a moment to rub and massage her butt cheeks then move onto her thighs. She started to hum as her body was a little sore from the classes she had to teach earlier. Leigh hadn't realized how much she needed this massage until she had your magic hands on her. Then as you're rubbing the back of her thigh, she feels your tongue inside of her and she lifts her head up again in surprise. She had gotten so lost in the other sensations that she forgot for a moment what the two of you were doing. 

You only move your tongue inside of her for a minute or two before you return your focus to the massage. “Lay on your back now,” you say as you are now standing in front of the bed. Leigh flips over again, relaxing into the mattress in a way she never has before. You grab her left foot and start kneading it with your thumbs, following it with circular motions. Leigh wasn't someone that liked her feet touched in a sexual context but it's been forever since she's had a foot massage and the way you were doing it surprisingly wasn't turning her off. She's grateful when you don't kiss her feet. 

You grab the towel you had brought with you and wipe the excess oil off of your hands. You crawl your way back up Leigh's body, stopping for a moment to kiss her pussy. You trace patterns on her skin with your tongue that send chills up her spine. She worries that it's about her too much and that she isn't doing anything to pleasure you but her thoughts leave her mind again as you latch your mouth on her breast with your fingers inside of her. She moves her hands from her sides to touch you as you continue to make her feel everything. She starts with running her fingers through your hair. It was longer than when she met you since you wanted to grow it out this year. She wasn't sure how this length would look on you but as it's grown, she hasn't had a single complaint. Then as your mouth moves across her chest, her hands move down your back. She can't massage you nearly as well as you had done for her but she does what she can and you appreciate the effort. 

When you're done paying attention to her breasts, you pull your fingers out of Leigh. You trace her lips with the coated fingertips until you dip them in her mouth and she licks them clean. Your dick twitches at the sight. You kiss her on the mouth as you line yourself up at her entrance. You move the head of your penis up and down between her wet folds to prolong the action and then you reach for the condom on the nightstand. 

“No,” Leigh stops you as she covers your hand with hers. “I don't want anything between us tonight,” she says. Always wear a condom, no matter what. 

You nod, “Okay.” 

You press into her entrance slowly and it's like she's feeling you for the first time. Like really feeling you. Not just riding you to get her climax. This isn't a drunken decision like the actual first time. This isn't just something that the two of you are doing to pass the time. This is real. The two of you are making love. This isn't fucking. This isn't just sex. It's slow and intimate and passionate. It's something that she wants for as long as she can have you. Leigh doesn't want to lose you to some other girl. 

As the two of you make love, she decides that she isn't going to be afraid anymore. She is going to tell you how she feels about this arrangement and she hopes that you'll feel the same. As she gets closer to her climax her mind is wiped clean, not a thought haunts her as she chants, “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” over and over again. Anticipating her walls squeezing your penis so close to your own orgasm, you start to pull away from her, planning on having her finish on your mouth. But Leigh has other plans as you pull away, she locks her legs around your back, keeping you inside of her. 

“Leigh, I won’t be able to hold off,” you warn her. 

She kisses your mouth, “It’s okay, I want you inside.” Her words trigger the two of you to share the most euphoric orgasms either of you has ever had in your lives. You've never released inside of someone without a condom before and the feeling was like nothing you've ever experienced before. As for Leigh, she is enjoying every pulse of your penis as you empty your balls into her. 

“Fuck, Leigh. What's gotten into you?” You pant out the question with a laugh as the two of you calm down. Once you start to soften, you pull out and roll next to her. Leigh is quick to roll on top of you, laying against your chest as you catch your breath. 

“Nothing, just a thank you,” she replies as she snuggles against you. Holding you as close as she can. No cuddles or snuggles or any physical touch unless it's related to sex. Leigh tries to get her brain working again so she can tell you how she feels but she's also enjoying being in your presence and relaxing in the moment. 

Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of time before your phone starts going off. You grab it from the nightstand and sigh with a frown. “I’m sorry, Leigh. I have to take this.” You kiss her on the lips while you pull away from her. Leigh wraps herself in your blanket as she watches you leave the room. You hop on one foot at a time as you put your basketball ball shorts on and answer the phone. “Hey cutie, what's up? Yeah, it's going great. Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't tonight. But maybe we can do something tomorrow night?” You say as you walk away. 

Leigh scoffs, she couldn't believe what she was overhearing. You had just came inside of her and you were making plans with Becca. Bubbly, positive, happy, pretty Becca. Not complicated and upfront with her feelings, Becca. Perfect widow, Becca. She gets out of the bed as she becomes blind with rage. She feels so used. Clearly breaking the rules wasn't enough to keep your attention. You still wanted her and not Leigh. 

She angrily grabs her clothes off of the floor and when you return she is almost fully dressed. “What's wrong, Leigh?” You say as you notice how upset she is. 

“You!” she snaps. 

“What?” Leigh storms past you and you follow her. “Leigh, talk to me, please.” You try to get ahead of her before she can get to the door but the apartment is small and she has it swung open before you can push it closed. “Leigh, please, tell me what I did wrong!” You beg as you continue to chase her. It didn't make any sense, she was holding onto you. She let you cum inside of her. She sent you that picture. She was so happy five seconds ago. It couldn't have been the call, you've taken them a couple times before. One time she even answered the phone for you and sucked you off while you chatted with the girl. This doesn't make any sense. 

“You had to start dating my best friend! Didn't you? What? One widow wasn't enough to have on your roster? You had to have two?” She shouts as she spins in front of you. 

“Oh shit,” you stand there dumbly as you realize she knows about Becca. “Leigh, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be a big deal. And best friend? Really?” She narrows her eyes at you. 

“So not the point,” she starts through gritted teeth as she stops and spins to look at you, “she is still my friend. That's so low of you to put in this position!”

“Shit,” you shut your eyes as you understand where she's coming from now. “Leigh, please, come inside and let's talk about this.”

“Are you going to stop seeing her?” 

“What?”

“It’s a simple yes or no question. Are you going to stop seeing Becca?” She asks again. 

“I don't know,” you deflate. “Becca is the first person, other than you, who seems to get me. We connect well and she's sweet and considerate and goofy and if I'm honest, I kind of like hanging out with her. It's not easy dating these days.” 

“Do you want to get serious with her?” Leigh asks. 

You haven't really given it much thought. You were just enjoying your time with Becca right now. In a similar way you were enjoying your time with Leigh. “I don't know,” you shrug. “Maybe? But what do you care?”

“What do I care? Do you really think I'm so heartless?” Leigh says back. “I care because I’m in love with you! You fucking idiot!” Leigh freezes and her angry expression drops as her blood runs cold in her body. She doesn't give you a moment to respond or even process. Leigh gets in her car and leaves. This time, you don't chase after her. 

Leigh knew she wanted an exclusive relationship but she didn't know how deep her feelings ran. Is she ready to be in love with someone? She isn't sure. Not after the rollercoaster that was Matt and his secrets. You and her were a secret and you kept it so well. Can she even trust you? Do you trust her?

Her phone ringing snaps her out of her thoughts for a second. She knows it's you. She can't answer. This is not an easy situation by any means and she needs to distance herself from you. Figure out how she really feels and maybe you will do the same. There's a chance she could lose you for good. Lose you to Becca. But that could be a good thing for both of you. 

Your phone calls don't stop for the rest of the night. The next day it's text messages and the day after, it's nothing. You finally go silent and Leigh is both relieved and terrified. She has no idea what you're thinking right now. She has no idea how you feel. She cannot believe she said those words to you. What was she thinking? She wasn't. 

The next week she receives a few messages from you, asking to talk, but she never responds. Leigh isolates herself from everyone she knows just in case you try to go to them to get to her. She doesn't hang out with Becca because she cannot stand to hear how great things are between the two of you. Or how horrible things are. Either way, she doesn't want to know. When her mom and Jules try to ask her what's wrong, she avoids the subject and they figure that she's having another “Matt episode” and they leave her be. 

Leigh decides to visit her husband's grave and think about the life they could have had. Would she be in his arms right now while he thought of another woman? Would he have left her for this woman? Or was it a crush that would have faded? Would he ever come around to the idea of kids? Or would that have been their breaking point? Did they get married too young? Did they move too fast? She has so many unanswered questions about their relationship, and he isn't here to help her figure them out. Not that him being here would have been much help. There are so many questions surrounding you and instead of talking to you, she's hoping that ghosting you will keep you away. 

Another week goes by and this time she doesn't hear from you at all. More silence. But there is no peace in it. She can't keep going like this. She wants to call you but she's scared. At least this way, the only person that gets hurt is her. You and Becca can be living happily ever after with each other and she will try to find something simple and easy. The weekend that her mom is away at a retreat and Jules is spending the night at her current girlfriends house, Leigh invites Drew to go out. She drinks and dances and flirts until she finds someone to go home with. It gets hot and heavy and she sloppily makes out with this person, trying to get their clothes off. Except, it doesn't go past the intense kissing because she breaks down into tears. She falls apart in the strangers apartment and they are nice enough to allow her the space to let it out. She ends up passing out there and they let Leigh sleep it off in their bed and they move to the coach. They drop her off at her house early the next morning. 

“Leigh,” your voice is broken and you wake to her slamming the car door shut. Leigh’s face is a mess from sleeping and crying in her makeup but that's not what you're thinking when you set your eyes on her.  You startle her as she climbs the porch steps. “Oh,” you say as you put two and two together. Leigh's hair and outfit are all out of sorts and you remember seeing her like that after a night with you. “Okay then, I'm clearly wasting my time here,” you rise and stretch your stiff limbs, sore from sleeping next to the front door, and wipe yourself off. “I’m sorry, I'll leave you alone.”

Leigh watches you in shock, you're standing in front of her. You're a mess and you're here. She has images in her head of what you would look like by now. Clean and happy and waking up to a nice warm breakfast with Becca. Not here. Not waiting for her all night. “What are you doing here?” The words come out harder than intended and she wants to rewind but it's too late. 

You scoff, “Making a fool of myself, clearly.” You start to walk away but Leigh reaches for your wrist to stop you and you do. It's been far too long without her touch and even this little bit is more than enough to get you to fall apart. 

“I’m sorry, I panicked,” she says in a small voice with her head down. You sigh as you fight against your better judgment. She has a hold on you that you didn't realize was there until you almost lost it. Or maybe you have lost it. You don't know yet. “I’m not good at this. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.”

You aren't sure if she means that she's not good at ending things or if she's not good at fixing them. You look over at your car and think about the night you ended things with Becca. You still weren't certain if you felt the same way about Leigh or if you had those feelings for Becca so you had to see for yourself. You continued to talk with her after the whole thing with Leigh but you kept your distance. Then you finally took her on a date, ready to end the night in bed with her but throughout the evening you noticed how you had to force yourself to continue a conversation or even pay attention to one of her stories. It was natural with Leigh. When you tried to sneak a taste of her food she got weird and territorial about it, surprisingly Leigh never did. Whatever you thought you had with Becca before Leigh's confession was gone and you realized that the only person you wanted to be with was Leigh. So when you dropped Becca off at her apartment and she tried to kiss you, you stopped her and told her that you had a complicated thing with someone else and that you couldn't continue with Becca anymore. She took it very hard. She was in tears and she couldn't believe that you had strung her along the way you did. You tried to tell her it wasn't like that but it didn't do any good. It was hard to end things with her but it was what was best for the both of you. 

Now you have to work it out with Leigh. Well, either you work it out or you have to let her go. “Just talk to me, Leigh. You tell me that you love me and then you run away. I've been worried sick for weeks and you wouldn't talk to me!” You pull your wrist out of her grasp and pace between her and the front door. Pulling on your already messy hair. “Then I come here and wait all night for you to let me in and you're off fucking someone else!” You stop in front of Leigh with red eyes and tears at the brim. “Am I stupid for being here?”

“No,” Leigh says as a wave of sadness hits her. Her lips quiver and she drops her shoes to grab your shirt to pull you close to her. “No, you're not stupid. I'm so sorry,” you let her lean against you, but you don't wrap your arms around her yet. Leigh sighs, happy to feel you again. “Gosh, I've missed you,” she whispers into your chest. “I didn't have sex with that person. I tried to but I didn't want to. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ghosted you. I should have stayed. I'm sorry. Is it too late?” She pulls back enough to look at you. 

Looking in her eyes, she is being sincere and vulnerable and you've never fallen for anyone harder than you are right now. You know that things won't always be easy with Leigh. But she is worth it. You wrap your arms around her and bring her into a warm embrace. You feel your heartbeat against you and it heals the cracks in your heart. “No, it's not too late.” You hold her. “But I do think we need to start over.”

“Okay, yeah,” she nods and sniffles. “Whatever you want. I'll do it. I just want to be with you,” she holds you tighter. 

“I just want to be with you,” you say as you step back and pull her into a passionate kiss. It didn’t matter to you that she had a bad morning breath with a hint of whatever alcohol she consumed the night before. And your morning breath didn’t affect her either. In fact, she wanted more of you. But you pull away before she can deepen the kiss and rest your forehead against hers. “Will you let me take you out on a proper date, Leigh Shaw?” 

“Yes, I will,” the two of you kiss again.

The End.

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[fandomnerd9602]

Healing

Leigh Shaw x Male Reader

For @aloneodi

Leigh still felt it was a dream. Her life with you. The way you came into it, an intern editor at her work. The way you smiled at her when you first saw each other.

It was a little over a year since her husband died when you came into her life. You started out as strangers, then friends, and then friends who went out for coffee together.

You worked with her to edit her columns before they were sent off. You encouraged her gently to try new experiences in life.

It was Jules who flatly ordered Leigh to ask you out. “Ask him out before someone else does”

“Huh?” Leigh looked at her sister in confusion.

“(y/N)! You two are like my reluctant OTP” Jules stated before leaving. Leigh tried to hide the blush forming over her face.

The next day she walked up to you nervous as ever. Surprisingly you were nervous too. You and Leigh practically asked each other out in unison. You had a good laugh before setting your first date for that evening.

First date became a second date, a second became a third and so on and so on. For the first time in a long time, Leigh felt that she was healing. She felt her heart flutter every time you held her hand or held her close while watching a movie or show on the couch.

It's been years since then now. The apartment gave way to a nice house in the suburbs.

Leigh pours herself a cup of coffee in the early summer morning. Her life profoundly better.

She hears sopping wet footsteps from the backdoor. Leigh can't help but sigh.

"What happened?" Leigh can't help but snicker.

"Blame our kids" you answer back, "both two and four legged"

"They tried to give the dog a bath, huh?"

"Yeah and now I look like a swamp creature" you shrug, covered head to toe in fresh cut grass and sopping wet.

"Still quite sexy for a swamp creature" Leigh laughs, getting her first look at you in your embarrassing situation.

"Oh really?" you start walking towards her, "well then get over here"

"No" Leigh shakes her head, trying hard not to laugh.

"Come on, you know you want to!" you run to her.

"Stay away from me, Swampy!" Leigh giggles as she runs away from you.

You chase her around the kitchen, Leigh laughs. Little moments like this always make Leigh laugh.

"I have work today!" she tries to counter.

"We can take a shower together" you counter back.

"You're terrible!" Leigh breaks down in full laughter.

You wrap your arms around here, "well you married me"

"Why do I love you so much?" Leigh leans her head against your chest.

"I could ask you the same question" you kiss her forehead.

"Uh...Mom, Dad?" your kids, both sopping wet and covered in grass too, look at you in embarrassment too.

Leigh simply shakes her head laughing.

Best life ever, she thinks to herself.

[gingiesworld]

Meet Me Underneath The Tree

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @lizzieislife94x (if you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

18+ MINORS DNI

Y/N and Leigh had been going strong for two years, two years since the fling between herself and Danny ended. Two years since she cut all ties with her dead husband’s family. Needing a new start herself, she found something in the new instructor her mom hired for Beautiful Beast. Y/N was a self defense instructor, helping the women who had paid to be taught self defense, Leigh had also noticed how smooth their voice was as they spoke. Considering what they taught, they had a gentle nature about them, and Leigh had experienced that for the two years of their relationship, even through the arguments that she had started, they remained by her side.

“So, you’re finally popping the question?” Amy asked Y/N as Leigh was teaching her class.

“Yeah.” They answered, a nervous smile on their face. “I know she has suffered a lot, but I want to be there for her, show her that she will always have something to breathe for.”

“She’s so lucky.” Jules groaned as she handed the ring back to Y/N. “So, what’s your big plan?” Y/N explained their plan to them, wanting to make the moment as special as possible. Soon enough cutting the conversation short when Leigh stepped out of the studio.

“What am I interrupting?” She questioned with a raised brow as she dried the sweat from herself.

“Nothing.” Jules answered quickly.

“Jules was just telling us what her plans are with Tommy.” Amy answered her confidently. “The two of them have decided to grace us with their presence this christmas.” Leigh beamed at her sister.

“That’s amazing.” She wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “It was too quiet last year without you.” Everyone chuckled as Jules sent Amy a glare.

Y/N had remained a nervous wreck leading up to Christmas eve. They had their doubts, what if she says no? What will happen to their relationship? But Leigh never failed to make them see that they are just as important to her as she is to them.

“Mom wants my help with the decorations.” Leigh told Y/N as she grabbed her coat. “She said something about Jules and Tommy coming around tonight and celebrating.”

“Ok.” Y/N nodded with a smile.

“I’ll be back in time for our little tradition.” She told them as she pressed a kiss to their lips. Y/N sighed as the door closed behind her, looking at the ring one last time before they made their own preparations.

“So, how is it with you and Y/N?” Amy asked her as the two prepared the food for Christmas dinner.

“It’s great.” Leigh answered her unsurely. “But I can’t help but feel as though they are pulling away from me.”

“How so?” Amy pressed on as Leigh wiped her hands on the towel.

“They’ve been distant with me.” She sighed as she rubbed her brow. “Maybe I’m just too much, my mood swings and outbursts are too much for them.”

“I don’t think that is the case.” Amy assured her as Leigh looked at the time. “I can see how they look at you Leigh, you are their whole world.”

“I just, I can’t shake this feeling like it may be the end.” She whispered shakily. “I don’t want this to be the end because I am so in love with them that it physically hurts me being away from them.”

“Tell them.” Amy told her. “Let them know everything you’re feeling.” Leigh nodded as she received a text from Y/N.

Meet me underneath the tree.

“I have to go.” Leigh sighed as she grabbed her coat, heading towards the little spot that had become theirs over the two year period. Her heart beat in her chest as she spotted Y/N in the distance, just staring out into space. “Y/N.” She breathed out, gaining their attention, watching as they took a shaky breath.

“Hi.” They smiled at her before continuing. “I honestly had a whole other plan for this, but then I figured here would be a better place.”

“No.” Leigh spat out, taking Y/N by surprise. “I am not letting you end what we have!” Y/N was shocked by the words coming from Leigh’s mouth. “We have worked too damn hard to be where we are now and I don’t want to throw that away because I love you. I love you so damn much and I can’t. I won’t lose you or what we have.” She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, opening them to see Y/N down on one knee, holding a ring in their hands.

“Leigh, I never, ever want to lose you.” They started as Leigh took a shaky breath. “I guess maybe my nerves these past few weeks haven’t helped either of us.” They chuckled lightly. “I have known for a while now that my future is meant to be spent by your side, living each day together, maybe starting a family one day, but I know I need you in my life Leigh. I love you with every fiber of my being and I will love more and more with each passing moment. So, will you marry me?”

“Yes.” She whispered as her tears flowed freely, smiling as Y/N had put the ring on her finger, noticing her wedding ring and engagement ring were no longer on her finger from her previous marriage.

“Your rings?” They questioned as she cupped their face.

“I haven’t worn them for months.” Leigh told them. “I guess I felt ready to let go of Matt and focus on the life I will have with you.” They smiled before kissing her softly, holding her close as the kiss broke, pressing their foreheads together, ready to live for their future together.

[writing-house-of-m]

Walk out

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Warnings: Not edited

Word count: 651

Summary: Everything works out for Leigh eventually

A/N: Based on this request. I don't know why people always want Leigh to be sad...

"Don't you dare walk out that door!" Leigh shouts at your back while you have one hand on the door handle.

You sigh defeatedly and turn back to face her, "It's already over Leigh, you won."

"So after everything you're just going to walk away?" Leigh asks.

You sigh then turn your attention back to the table you walked away from. It's a little embarrassing that this is happening in front of Leigh's mother and sister.

"What do you want me to do?"

Jules looks back and forth as she shares some of her popcorn with Amy who is doing the same. Maybe you should charge them for this entertainment.

"It's not like I'm going to flip the board. The rest of my money is there, you can take it all, I'm going to go watch TV," you say.

Before you can turn to leave again you hear Leigh laugh, "Come on baby, don't be a sore loser and sit with us for the rest of the game," she whines. Her clinginess recently has been a welcome change. "Just declare your bankruptcy first," she finishes with a giggle, Jules and Amy joining in.

You playfully roll your eyes, making your way back to your seat. Gathering all your money and property you distribute it according to the rules before monotonously saying, "I declare bankruptcy."

Leigh smiles at you, biting her lip. She leans over and kisses your cheek whispering a smug thank you into your skin before picking up the dice.

"The three of you are always conspiring against me in this damned game," you say looking around the table at the three women.

"We have no idea what you are talking about," Amy remarks in fake seriousness, taking a sip of her wine.

"Yeah, you're sounding a little crazy there Y/n," Jules adds.

You scoff at their playfulness and know you have a long night ahead of you before this game ends.

When the game does finally end you notice Leigh's discomfort as she tries to get up from her seat.

"Here, let me help," you say, moving to Leigh's side. You hold her hand to hoist her up while your other hand stays on her waist to keep her balanced. "I told you, you should have gotten up to stretch throughout the game."

Leigh's arms wrap around your neck, "Yeah, but then I wouldn't have been able to do this now," she says, before kissing your cheek.

"You're such a flirt Leigh Shaw," you chuckle before placing your hands on her swollen belly. "I wonder if this one is going to get that trait from you."

"Well, if not from me then they'll get it from you. Besides, it will be better than how competitive you are during board games."

You tighten your arms around Leigh's waist, "It doesn't matter if you're seven months pregnant, love, you still have to pay rent," you squint your eyes at her. "And you're saying this like you're not competitive? Who was it that wouldn't let it go when I said the wrong weapon out loud even though I had it right on my checklist, last week?" You question, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah… This baby has no chance," Leigh jokes, making you both laugh.

"Alright love birds, you can go home now. The cleaning is done," Jules jests.

You look over to see the table has been cleared of the board game and the snacks that were littered all over it.

Amy says her goodbyes telling you to drive safe once you make it to the front door. Jules does the same before watching you walk to your car.

That night, after you have fallen asleep with your arms securely wrapped around Leigh and her bump and your heavy breathing is the only sound in the silent room. She sighs in content because things finally worked out for her.

[messedupfan]

Benefits of Car Troubles | 7

Summary: Y/n and Leigh go house hunting. The Shaws meet Y/n's father. And Leigh and Y/n decide to test run what it would be to live with each other

A/N: Heeeellloooo!! So, at this point I'm going to have to make a chapters page for this. UGGHH!! But anyway. Hope y'all enjoy. Also Imma do a poll for this story so be on the look out!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here is the master bedroom,” the real estate agent says as he leads you and Leigh through the house. It is much bigger than either of your current rooms. Even with it fully furnished. “I noticed that you are expecting so let me show you the nursery room that we have set up.” He draws the attention over to a room a little ways down the hall to show off the staged nursery. It's meant for a little girl which you and Leigh are almost positive that it's what she's carrying but the room makes you want to have a little girl someday. 

“This is so beautiful,” Leigh says with tears in her eyes as she imagines a smiling baby lying in the crib. She can see them having your eyes and her nose as they hold their little feet in the air and reach out to her with their tiny hands. She can't believe that image has the potential of being real. When Matt had told her his stance on children, she thought she would never get to experience her own children. She thought she was going to have to pretend to be a happy aunt when it happened for others. She hopes whoever he's with now doesn't want children. She hopes that he doesn't take that away from someone again. There are plenty of women that don't want to have kids, he told her in an argument once. Why are you making me out to be a villain? He'd asked when she posed the question why he waited until a year into their marriage to reveal this detail. I just want you! He had said when she told him that he could have been with anyone else. 

“Leigh,” you call softly as you wrap your body around her from behind. She melts against your chest. “What’s on your mind?” You lean down and rest your chin on her shoulder. 

“I’m just really grateful for you,” she says as she rubs your arms. You ask her why with a slight amusement, surprised about her sudden words of gratitude. “For making my dreams come true,” she admits as she leans back to catch your lips. The sweet kiss is interrupted by your phone going off to your ringtone for your father.  

“I’m sorry baby, I have to answer this,” you say as you pull away. “He probably just wants to make sure that we’re going to be there for dinner.” 

“Y/n, it’s okay to talk to your dad,” she says with a small laugh and you shake your head confused as to why you were so flustered about answering a phone call from your own father. 

“Right,” you say as you answer the call. While you walk off to talk to him privately, Leigh continues to walk around the home, imagining the two of you making it your own. At the other houses that the two of you toured throughout the week, they didn’t feel right. They were lovely homes but they didn’t feel like her home. However, this one she can see it all happening here. You chasing the kids down the hall just for fun. Her baking cookies from scratch with them in the kitchen. Catching the baby in her belly trying to sneak out of the house when he’s older and grounded. Having family movie nights in the living room. Playing board games on the dining table. She can see it all. 

“What do you think about the house?” The realtor startles her in the dining room and he apologizes. 

“It’s okay, I’m just lost in my head. I love it, but I’m going to discuss it with my partner before I say anything else,” she says, being cautious of the agent's sales tactics. He nods once and starts to give the age old speech of how it’s a popular house and that there are many offers already placed on it and Leigh nods along pretending to be concerned. She has done her research on each property and this one has been on the market for five years and has gone down in prices in the last couple of years. Standing in it she can’t imagine why it hasn’t sold, there wasn’t anything wrong with it that she could see and to her knowledge no one was murdered in it. 

You find Leigh when you’ve hung up and you listen to the real estate agent’s pitch as well. “I’ll keep that in mind and be in touch with you soon. But we have to go,” you take Leigh’s hand, “My dad wants us there a bit early for dinner. It was a pleasure to meet you and hopefully we’ll see you again soon.” You drop her off at her house to get ready so that you can grab something nice for yourself from your place. Then you return to her house to pick up Leigh and her family. Jules is coming along and you worry about what her behavior might be through the night as you warned your dad about her current condition. He swore to have all of his liquor locked up and you trust that he would but you worry that Jules might lose it without having a beverage or two. 

Arriving at your dad’s house, everyone is impressed with the size of the home and you feel a little embarrassed. “This is where you grew up?” Jules rolls down her widow to stick her head out. 

“No, I never live here. My dad got this a few years ago. The house I grew up in is closer to where I live now,” you explain as you find a spot in the large driveway to park. You look over at Leigh whose eyes are wide with fear. “You okay?” You ask as you take her hand in yours and begin to rub your thumb into her palm. 

“He is going to think I did this for money,” Leigh states. You shake your head as you try to tell her that’s not true. “How much does he know?” She looks at you alarmed. You had told her that you told your dad a version of how the two of you got together to make her feel better about meeting him. But that wasn’t true. 

You sigh as you admit, “I told him everything. Trust me, this isn’t going to go bad. He isn’t judgemental. He just wants to be included in this family.” 

Leigh nods as she starts to calm herself down. “Okay,” she says, “Okay, let's go before I lose it.” She spins in her seat to face her mom and sister, “The both of you better be on your best behavior.” 

Amy takes her daughter's hand and reassures her that everything is going to be okay. Leigh is nervous the entire walk to the door and you do your best to calm her but with the added hormonal imbalance that comes with pregnancy, it’s not an easy task. Your father greets everyone at the door with warm hugs as he invites them in. You compliment the house that you’ve only been to a handful of times since he purchased it. 

He offers to do a tour as dinner is being prepared and as you’re about to reject the offer, Leigh accepts and stays close to your father. She doesn’t know how she is going to get this man to see her as someone that loves you for you but she is certainly going to try her best. 

As your father shows everyone around the house he is certain to mention that it’s a house meant for family and that he hosts great holiday parties for all of the major holidays and that the Shaw family is welcome to join. “If you don’t mind my asking and please excuse my phrasing but do you have a father that you are in touch with?” Your dad asks Leigh who is continuously surprised by the man's politeness. As soon as she saw the house she was preparing herself for a narcissistic, judgmental, snob. But your father has so far presented himself as the exact opposite. 

“Yeah, I do,” Leigh says, “He’s been a great support in this, I can’t believe I completely forgot to invite him to this.” 

“It’s no worries, another time,” your father says with a smile. “He and whoever is important to him are welcomed here as well. My child isn’t always good at including people in their lives,” he leans close, “he gets that from his mother. But I am happy to extend the invitation.” 

You try not to think about the comment about your mother too much. You haven’t seen her since you were twelve years old. But even before that it was still just you and your dad. You haven't opened up about your mom to Leigh yet. She gives you a look of concern and you shrug it off as the tour continues. After seeing every room and amenity in the home your father is informed that dinner is ready and he ends the tour in the extravagant dining room. This house could fit the one you viewed today about fifty times and there’d still be room. You never understood the need to have a house so big. Especially for one person. 

“Oh my,” Leigh’s mouth waters at the meals displayed on the table. 

“I know how bad pregnancy can be sometimes, Y/n’s mother could hardly enjoy anything when she was pregnant so I asked Y/n about all of your trigger foods and all of your cravings. I hope they’ve been paying attention because if you have to run out of here, I’m not above grounding them,” your father jokes to Leigh.

She is shaking her head with tears in her eyes, “No, it’s perfect.” Everyone sits down to enjoy the meal together. Your father shares stories about memories the two of you shared together and Amy does the same for Leigh. Jules keeps quiet because all she can think about is embarrassing moments and how bad she wants a drink. The night goes well and when it’s over, Leigh is being sent home with more leftovers than she knows what to do with. Your dad gets the Shaw girls to promise to visit and Amy offers to host him next weekend. He enthusiastically accepts the invitation.  

On the way to the Shaw residence Amy and Leigh are asking about what meals your father likes and you assure them that you will handle the meal for them. “So why didn't you tell us that you were rich?” Jules asks. 

You laugh, “Your sister thought it was a pick up line so I didn't correct her.” Leigh rolls her eyes and tells Jules that it's not true over her shoulder. “Nah, I'm kidding. It's really not my money. It's my dad's. I don't make or have nearly as much money as he does.” You explain. “But, I do well for myself. Leigh and the baby will be taken care of,” you hold Leigh's hand in yours and she leans over and kisses you on the cheek. 

“What did you think about the house we saw today?” Leigh asks as she folds a shirt that she puts in a suitcase. She wants to trial run living together without her family around and without all of the comforts that she is used to. 

“I loved it, I think we should put in an offer,” you say as you set your phone down to give her your full attention. “It was weird, I could really see us living there,” you admit. “And it's more bedrooms than we need right now so you know what that means,” you wink at her as you bite your lip. 

Leigh shakes her head with a laugh, “Slow down. Let’s see how we are with one kid first.” You agree with her and continue to watch her pack her things. “I really liked it too by the way.” You hum in question of what she is talking about. “The house. I think we should put in an offer. Well, you should. I don’t think I can yet because Matt is dragging this divorce out.” 

“Does he know about everything?” You ask slowly just in case the question upsets her. 

“Yeah, unfortunately Estelle told him everything and so he has this lawyer trying to screw me over in the divorce,” she says with a frown. 

“If you need a better lawyer, Teddy’s brother is a pretty great one,” you suggest. 

“Teddy has a brother?” Leigh says surprised. 

You nod, “She has two brothers and a sister, all of them are a lot older than her so she wasn’t close with them when she was younger.” 

“Wow, I don’t know why but I didn’t picture her as someone with siblings,” Leigh says, still shocked by the information. “But no, I wouldn’t feel right asking for favors from a girl I’ve barely met.” 

“Well she owes me and he owes me too so it wouldn’t be wrong for me to call in some favors. Besides, she’s kind of part of my family and correct me if I'm wrong but you and I are building a family together.” You wait to see if she will correct you but she doesn’t and you smile. “Come on, we can set up a lunch and I won’t ask until after you meet them,” you try to convince Leigh to let you help her. 

“Okay, I would like to get to know Teddy better,” Leigh says, feeling a little bit jealous that you are confident in calling some other woman your family, whereas it's still a question with her. Sometimes she wishes you'd just be more direct in what you wanted from her instead of tiptoeing around the subject. Sometimes she wishes that you would stop asking her for permission for everything. Sometimes she fantasies that you storm in one day, grab her by the waist, and claim her as yours. 

But no, you continue to play it safe. “Leigh,” you call her name, causing her to look in your direction. “Something on your mind?” 

She puts on a fake smile and shakes her head, “No, I'm just um… I'm just a little nervous about spending the week with you. It's a big step for us.”

You shrug a little confused by the statement and stand from the bed, “I think we've taken bigger steps.” You walk around the furniture and stand behind her, wrapping your arms around her middle.

Leigh snorts, “We didn't take that step, we were pushed into it.” 

You smile and kiss the back of her neck, “I think there was a little bit more involved in that.” 

Shivers race down Leigh's spine as she leans into your chest. “Not here,” she whispers as her body heats up from your touch. You continue to kiss her neck and lightly trail your fingers down her stomach and slowly bunch up her dress in order to slip your fingers in her underwear. Unfortunately, a knock on Leigh’s bedroom door has you jumping away from her. You quickly sit on the bed and cover your lap with one of her decorative pillows. Leigh takes a few breaths to cool down as she opens the door. “Jules, is everything okay?” She asks full of concern for her sister with tears coming down her face. You feel even more awkward now, but a little relieved that the tears have scared away the evidence of arousal. 

“Yeah,” she sniffs and wipes her face. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make everything about me but. Ugh, I don’t want you to have this baby,” her admission has you and Leigh looking at her with wide eyes. She is being a bit hysterical so you give her the benefit of the doubt. Plus the smell of alcohol is strong in her presence. Now neither of you has to wonder about a stash in her bedroom.

“Why’s that, Jules?” you ask with concern as you sit up more on the bed.

She shakes her head as she continues to cry. “No, I mean. I want you to have the baby. I just. I want to be sober when he or she or they get here. I don’t want to be like, like, like this!” She gestures to herself. You and Leigh are relieved to an extent. Jules wants help but you’re a little weary of the timing. You have offered her help many times before she came to your fathers home. Now she is ready for help? 

“Hey, hey,” Leigh holds her sister in her arms. “It’s okay, Jules. There’s still time to get you help. We’ll talk to mom and-” 

“No! I can’t put her through that again,” she says as she pulls out of Leigh’s arms. “She’s still paying off the last rehab. I can’t put her in more debt.” You sigh and rub your face. 

“Okay, we can look into some places,” Leigh promises. “Make some phone calls maybe, we could help you apply for one of those programs that are for people that don’t have a lot of money to get better.” 

Jules shakes her head, “No, I can’t go to one of those. That’s where my friend Mindy went. She met her heroin dealer there!” 

You sigh and stand up from the bed and pull out your wallet. You don’t carry cash often, but one of your best customers gave you a pretty hefty tip in cash. “Okay, how much do you want, Jules?” you ask with a coldness that Leigh has never seen in you before. She doesn’t want help. She wants money. You’ve dealt with this behavior before. Leigh scowls at you for accusing her sister of only asking for money when she was clearly here for help. That’s until she sees Jules' eyes dry up almost instantly. 

“Um, maybe a few hundred to a thousand. You know, for the down payment,” she says as she starts to scratch her wrist. You close your eyes, her habits have gone beyond alcohol. You clear your throat and pull the wad of cash out of your pocket and with a heavy heart, you start to count the cash. 

Leigh can’t believe what she is seeing and she puts her hand over yours to stop you. “Jules, it’s okay. You don’t need to make the arrangements yourself. I will do it for you.” You feel bad for your girlfriend because you can see that she has hope that she can save her sister from herself. Part of you hopes that she can, so that she doesn’t have to deal with the heartbreak of finding out that she can’t. 

Jules looks at her sister and then to the money in your hand. You don’t know what has gotten into Leigh's sister, and you want to help prevent her from getting worse but it was up to her. And if she needed money, you’d rather be the one to give it to her than to have her find other ways to earn the money. You follow Leigh’s lead and give her the chance to choose, the money or her sobriety. Leigh is desperately hoping her sister makes the right decision. Her hand grips yours tightly in anticipation. 

“Jules, whatever you’re going to use this money on isn’t worth it,” you say, letting her know that she has been caught. She looks at you in shock, she thought her act was working. “We’re here for you, let us help you.” Jules locks her eyes on the money in your hands and licks her lips. The craving is so much stronger than she is. You can see her losing her battle. 

“Jules,” Leigh says in a strong tone with tears filling her eyes. “If you take this money, I don’t think I could have you in my baby’s life.” She tries to bring out the sister that was promising Leigh months ago that if she kept the baby then she would help her every day and night with feedings and diaper changes and watching the baby whenever Leigh needed her to. When she was sober, she wanted it all. She can’t believe she doesn’t recognize the woman in front of her. 

“Okay,” Jules says as she steps back. She clears her throat. “I’m um I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this. I just. I just, I need to get out of here.” She says as she starts to leave the room. Leigh starts shouting for her mom to come to her room and Amy arrives, concerned and a little annoyed. 

“What is with all of the shouting?” She asks as she enters the room. You and Leigh waste no time in explaining to her mother the concerns the both of you have for her daughter. The both of you suggest staying at the house longer in order to help monitor Jules but Amy doesn’t agree to the idea. “No, I won’t allow it. You two need to start focusing on the baby and starting your lives together. Okay? You already have enough to worry about. Jules is my baby and it’s my job to care for her. I appreciate the offer but no. I have to take matters into my own hands here.” She states confidently. Leigh can’t believe that her mother is being so stubborn about allowing her to help her sister. But Amy has put her foot down on the situation. You try to offer to help with paying for Jules' rehab stay but Amy declines. “No, we’re not doing that again. I think I’m going to handle this differently. Besides, the two of you need to buy that house. You will have a child of your own to worry about soon enough. You don’t need debts from something like this.” 

You nod and rub Leigh’s back in comfort, “I understand. Please let us know if we can do anything if you ever find that you need help.” Leigh concurs your statement and Amy hugs both you and her daughter as she thanks you. 

“Now hurry up with that packing,” Amy says as she points to the half empty suitcase. She leaves the two of you alone to go find Jules. Leigh no longer takes her time in packing, ready to be away from the drama for a bit. When she is ready to leave, she doesn’t say bye to her mom or her sister because she doesn’t get the chance to. The door to Jules’ room is locked and Amy is on the phone making arrangements to help her struggling daughter. 

The drive to your apartment is quieter than you anticipated it being. You wanted today to end on the good note that you and Leigh were committing to a life together. Not this. Unfortunately, stuff like this is a harsh reality. And if neither of you can handle it, then it might not be the perfect match you convinced yourselves of after all. Then again, when Leigh puts her hand on your thigh at the red light to grab your attention and she gives you that look that is so full of love and appreciation as she thanks you, you know that isn’t the case. You know that this is real and this will be a lasting connection. You love her and she loves you. Together, the two of you can brave any storm.

Eight

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

New Year's Day (Leigh Shaw/ Reader)

Happy New Year's, you wonderful people!

I had this idea and it felt downright criminal to not have it done by New Year's Day, so here we are. Also dedicating this to my lovely, wonderful teddy @abimess!

Summary: Song fic inspired by Taylor Swift's New Year's Day

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff (Quiet possibly the fluffiest thing I've ever written.)

The New Year’s Day air was still and quiet, tinging the world around you with a bit of magic that only came around once a year. A proverbial clean slate with 365 fresh starts ahead of you. Even then, you didn’t want to let go of what this year brought you. You wanted to hold on. Hold on to the memories like Leigh had told you. The relief and nostalgia mixed in your mind to create a beautiful mosaic as you set about cleaning the wreck that was your home before you.

For most people, New Year’s eve was a celebration of something ending, but for you, New Year’s was a celebration of the wonder of a year you had lived. A year that you never would have ever allowed yourself to hope for in your wildest dreams, yet by some grace of fortune, you were living it.

As you began sweeping the glitter off the floor, your mind occupied with the very same memories, a voice called out for you from the entryway. You couldn’t help but smile as you turned to find Leigh leaning against the doorframe in an oversized t-shirt with that same adoring half smile you had fallen in love with over a year ago.

“You weren’t in bed when I woke up.” She said matter-of-factly as she padded her way over to you, her arms naturally wrapping around your waist and tugging you close. “Though I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re an early riser even with a hangover. You monster.”

Leigh leaned her forehead lightly against your own and you relished in the wave of warmth the action brought you, a small chuckle escaping your lips at her sarcasm. “I’m actually not hungover.” You explained, “And you looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you… Plus, you always complain that no one can be in a good mood before the sun is up, sleeping beauty.”

There was happiness in her eyes as she stared back at you and it made your smile widen even more. It was one of the things you loved most about Leigh, her expressive eyes. They were a roadmap to her soul that she only granted you access to. “And I stand by that.” Leigh countered jokingly, nudging your nose with her own. “But for you I could make an exception to my rule.”

“I’m honored. Maybe I’ll make an early riser out of you yet.” You replied teasingly.

Leigh’s breath fanned across your lips, her eyes never straying from your own. “Will you shut up and kiss me already?” She demanded playfully.

You chuckled and tugged her flush against your body. “Ma’am, yes, ma’am.” You murmured breathily before pressing your lips to hers, smiling when you felt her sigh against your lips and you melted into her. You were putty in her hands and briefly acknowledged that the world stopped and started at her beck and call as far as you were concerned. You had never been so desperately in love with another the way you were her.

Leigh pulled back, just a millimeter between your lips as she whispered, “I’m so in love with you.” Her nose scrunched in the cute way you loved and you braced yourself for the sass, “Even with your ridiculous bedhead.”

You gasped in mock indignation. “Excuse you? I’ll have you know this is not bedhead.” Leigh giggled and shrugged. “Would you like to try that again?”

Leigh bumped your nose once more with her own, a smile on her face. “Okay, I’m in love with you and nothing else after that?” Her eyes danced playfully and you couldn’t help but smile, “Is that better?”

You pecked her lips quickly, “Much better.” you replied and she gestured towards you expectantly. You pretended to think and she huffed. “Oh, and I’m in love with you too. Is that what you were waiting for?”

Leigh shoved you away with a laugh, “Jerk.” She muttered, taking the broom out of your hands with an amused shake of her head.

As she took over sweeping, you got to picking up the various bottles that littered your home in the aftermath of the party you had both thrown the night before. “Hey Y/n?” You hummed in acknowledgement, “Look what I almost swept up.”

You turned to see Leigh holding up a polaroid, on closer inspection you saw what the polaroid was. You and Leigh from the night before. You were both leaning against the railing of the balcony to your room, your lips connected in a sweet kiss. Nothing was sweeter than the moment it had captured though, one of the moments you wanted to hang on to.

Parties were never your thing, but you loved being surrounded by your friends and family, so when Leigh suggested throwing a New Year’s Eve party at the house you two had just moved into a few months prior, you knew you couldn’t say no. That was what led you to the balcony of your room for a quick moment of peace before the demands of attention from your guests increased.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

A smile spread across your lips, but you didn’t need to turn to see who it was. “Just needed a little breather.” You replied, resting your forearms against the railing.

Leigh appeared next to you and mimicked your stance, the side of her body pressing into you. “I know the feeling,” She nudged you lightly. “Feeling okay?”

You tilted your head slightly to meet her eyes and smiled. “I’m better now.

Leigh rolled her eyes in amusement and nudged you lightly. “Cheesy. Very cheesy.” You shrugged. “But really, are you feeling okay?”

You took a moment to contemplate her words, “I’m going to miss this year.” You admitted.

Your words seemed to pique Leigh’s interest as she tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because it gave me you.” You replied without hesitation, resting your hand over her own.

The sound of her breath hitching filled the air, and it seemed she needed a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke again. “You’ll have me every other year after too, you know?”

Her hand turned over under yours and you intertwined your fingers. “Can we always be this close? Forever and ever?”

Leigh squeezed your hand three times and your heart stuttered. “You and me, forevermore.” She replied with that damn half smile. “As for this year's ending… hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you.”

You leaned your forehead against hers and smiled. “And I will hold on to you.”

Her eyes sparkled again as she looked at you, the warmth of love in her gaze warming your whole body despite the frigid night air. “And I’ll hold on to you.” She repeated back passionately before connecting her lips to your own.

A flash interrupted the moment as you both pulled apart to find Jules standing before you with a polaroid camera in her hands, “Aren’t you two the cutest?” She teased and Leigh gave her the finger. “But really, I’m tired of hostess duties. It’s your party. Go mingle, lovebirds.”

“Duty calls.” You said to Leigh who huffed before dragging you back into the house and you couldn’t help but watch her adoringly for the remainder of the night.

Leigh moved to place the polaroid in the corner of a larger frame in the center of the room, “You know, yesterday remind of the moment that I realized I was in love with you.” She confessed.

You raised your eyebrows, not knowing which specific moment Leigh was referring to. “You can pinpoint it to a moment?” You questioned.

She bit her lip and nodded, “Last year. The taxi.” She began, “We had been dating less than a month, but I knew like I’ve never known before that you were the one for me.”

Your heart fluttered as you thought back to the moment she was referring to.

A heavy silence hung in the air between you both, Leigh’s words still weighing heavily on your mind. She had a particularly difficult day and lashed out at you when you had pressed her to talk about it which led to her saying things she didn’t mean. It was a defense mechanism that she had never hated until that very moment.

On top of that, your car had broken down on the drive to her apartment, so now you were both stuck in a taxi filled with awkward silence.

Unable to take it anymore, Leigh finally spoke, her words so soft that you would have missed it if the car wasn’t completely silent. “Don’t leave me.”

You froze and turned to face Leigh but her eyes wouldn’t meet yours. “What? Leigh,” You began, taking her hand. “I would never leave you. I’ll stay when it’s hard, or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes.”

You squeezed her hand three times and it was only then that she looked up, tears welling in her beautiful emerald eyes and making your heart ache at the sight. “I’ll be there if you’re feeling on top of the world and I’ll be there when you’re feeling low.”

“You mean it?” She replied insecurely.

Again, you squeezed her hand three times, silently saying the words you weren’t ready to vocalize yet. “I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.” You replied cheekily, referencing the date that was almost an entire year away because you had faith you would be with her until then and for far longer. Forever if you had any say in it. You kept that to yourself for now though. “I will hold on to you if you’re lost, or you’re scared, or you’re turning away.”

Her shoulder slumped forward, almost as if all the tension had left her body with the reassurance of your words. “And I will hold on to you.” She repeated quietly as she leaned heavily into you, her arms wrapping tightly around your midsection and you wrapped your own around her shoulder.

“I was already in love with you by that point.” You admitted with a sheepish smile. “And would you look at that, I’m cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.”

Leigh watched you with wonder in her eyes and a loving smile painted across her lips. “I’m so grateful that I met you. You make me happier than I’ve ever been - happier than I ever thought possible. I was broken before you and I don’t think I ever would have been put together if it weren’t for you.”

You made your way back over to her, taking her hand in yours. “I hope you know that it is completely mutual, Leigh.” You replied.

Her smile was blinding as she wrapped her arms around you. “I’m so glad I didn’t ‘Shaw’ this up.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty fond of this one Shaw in particular…” You trailed off teasingly, becoming distracted when you noticed something on the floor. “Wait. Why is there candle wax on our new hardwood floor?”

“Our friends are clearly savages.” Leigh replied with a laugh that enchanted you and you suddenly couldn’t focus on the candle wax anymore.

“Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I can recognize anywhere.” You mumbled, pulling her back into your lips.

“Never. I’ll hold onto you.” Leigh replied into your lips, the glitter on the floor and bottles strewn around the home long forgotten. All you focused on was Leigh in your arms on New Year’s Day, Leigh and you forevermore.

And that is all, folks! Hope you all have the most wonderful 2022! Thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

Taglist:

@abimess // @helloalycia // @imapotatao // @madamevirgo // @magicallymaximoff // @women-am-i-right @myfavoriteficss // @spicysashimi // @olsensnpm // @natasha-danvers // @xxxtwilightaxelxxx // @7thavenger // @aimezvousbrahms // @purplemeetsblue // @b0mbdotc0m // @cristin-rjd // @trikruismybitch // @hopelesslyfallenninlove // @when-wolves-howl // @b-5by5 // @mionemymind // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @reminiscingtonight // @nervoustrack // @plxviofiles // @alotofpockets

[therunawaykind]

Green Eyes - Part IV

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Reader

Word Count: 14.1k

Warnings: Curses, Drug usage, Sorry For Your Loss spoilers I guess?

A/N: So here it is, we've finally gotten to the last part of Green Eyes, I decided to post this today as a little celebration of me posting my first story on this date a year ago. So what better way to celebrate it and reminisce than by finishing one of my most beloved stories. I am sorry for taking so long on getting this final part out...in all seriousness, I really just did not want this series to end. I just adore Leigh Shaw so much. I already know I'm gonna be trying to come up with some sort of series for her again next. But as an apology for taking this long getting this out for you all. You all are getting a 14k part. I just want to give a special little shoutout to @when-wolves-howl and her work/notes on this series as well. This series honestly wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you. I hope you all have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. So go forth and get your dose of the beloved and adored Leigh Shaw. The love of my life (sorry 8bit) if y'all see me write and post one or two drabbles for this story after I said this was the finale....you see nothing

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| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

It's been nearly a year since that whole predicament between you, Leigh and Danny. You were happy to say after that whole situation with Danny appearing at your house which led to the most significant disagreement you and Leigh had about your entire relationship, but you were glad to say things had started to run smoothly for the both of you. Due to the small scare, Danny gave you by appearing at your house, out of the blue you decided to move house purely out of safety and if in one of his bouts of anger he decided to leak your address. Considering you were moving house, you ran the thought by Leigh of her moving in with you albeit you both knew it was far too soon in the relationship for such a thing to happen. So, you both compromised in a sense, Leigh would come and stay with you for three days in the week and spend the rest of the time in her apartment since Amy her mother decided to sell their family house due to her going back to Alaska.

Even though none of you voiced how sad you felt about not living together permanently it was an unspoken agreement between the two of you that it was a bit too soon in the relationship to take this big of a step forward. As well as that Leigh still wasn’t completely certain about moving on with someone completely even if it was with you, so she was taking things slowly and at her own pace that she was comfortable with and she was happy to know you were completely understanding of that as you agreed upon back in Vietnam. Although she couldn’t help but feel bad about it since she felt like she was holding you back, but you reassured her that everything was okay.  

Whilst you were back in music and writing mode fully. Leigh was still working with Drew on her essays about her grief and how she is coping and not making the mistake she did before, by leaving you the person that was helping her, and she was doing everything with whilst also working on the advice column as well. However, a thought crossed Leigh’s mind recently and she didn’t know who to bring it up to or even how to bring it up with the possibility of people doubting her. Sure, she is a writer and has been writing things continuously for years, but it was never anything of this size. Leigh wanted to become an author….an actual author. She had a lightbulb moment as she was writing one of her essays where she thought why doesn’t she just put all of her thoughts, experiences and journey through grief and being a widow into one book.

She knew she could just collect all of her essays and throw them into a book but that didn’t please her and didn’t seem authentic enough for her. She just felt and knew some good could come from this if she just figured out how to work this out and who to tell to help her in this venture. Of course, she could tell you, you were her partner she knew you’d support her in any endeavour she wanted, it would also help considering you write for a living as well albeit in a slightly different manner, but then she had Drew who may be suited better for something of this calibre, but Drew may also be too harsh. This was the loop she was stuck in that she couldn’t get out of.  

Here she was in your house waiting for you to get home sitting at your table, elbows perched on top of the table whilst her hands are placed on her temples. Staring at a rather unplanned word document for this book, thinking of how to talk to you about this. Just as those thoughts crossed her mind, she heard the jingle of your keys unlocking the door. “Leigh honey, I’m assuming it’s you in here with all the lights on and not some sort of robber or crazy fan.” Leigh chuckled softly as she got up from the chair to approach you “I can assure you that it’s only me Y/N/N.” As you kick the door shut you can’t help but grin as you stare at Leigh “And boy am I so glad to see you.”  

“How come, rough day at work?”  

You can’t help but let out a groan as you fall back onto the sofa “yeah I guess you could say that, it was just us doing a bunch of tedious stuff-” You notice Leigh arch her eyebrow for you to tell her what exactly you were doing “I was getting to it Leigh, we were just rearranging and changing the littlest of things whether it was with my vocals or the instruments. Nothing writing-wise don’t worry all the lyrics are exactly the same as when you last heard them.” You couldn’t see it, but Leigh was grinning to herself before she spun around and placed a quick kiss on your forehead as she approached her laptop again. As you were staring at Leigh, you squinted your eyes and pursed your lips “what are you doing over there Hun?” You heard the immediate inhale come from her and her hands froze over her keyboard. You couldn’t lie, that reaction did make you quite nervous, but you trusted Leigh.

Very quickly Leigh got her thoughts under control, she cleared her throat and turned towards you slightly “Right I’m going to tell you, but you got to promise me you won’t judge me or anything.” You can’t help but laugh lightly at the statement, but you clear your throat to get serious as you see Leigh look pleadingly at you “I promise you Leigh Shaw I will not be judgy purely because I was the college student who had the wildest dream of becoming a musician…. now here I am doing that honestly quite weird career.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at your ramble, she glanced back at the screen again and took a deep breath. “Iwannabecomeanauthorandwriteabook.” You honestly had no other reaction but to stare at Leigh in complete and utter confusion as your mouth opened and closed as if you were a fish out of water.

As much as you tried not to you chuckled slightly but covered it up with a cough “Leigh, honey, sweetie I did not understand a word that came out of your mouth because you talked so fast.” Leigh threw her head back as she sighed “I said that I wanna become an author and write a book.” Leigh watched you expectedly waiting to gauge your reaction; she couldn’t help but smirk slightly as she saw a grin spread across your face. You dashed off of the sofa and pulled her up into a tight hug. “Leigh I am so proud of you, this is such a big deal and I believe in you one hundred percent, I really do hope you know that.” Leigh nodded quickly in response as her arms went around your neck, you gazed at her in pure adoration as you started to speak in a sing-songy voice “soooo what’s it going to be about?” Leigh took another deep breath in as she glanced back down at her laptop screen. “I think It’s going to be about how everyone deals with grief in different ways, specifically focusing on my journey and process through dealing with grief and becoming a widow and how I got to where I am today.”  

As you were gazing at Leigh listening to her tangent of what her plan was for this book the soft grin that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped. You always got like this as she rambled about something she adored, whether it be some article she was writing or advice she was giving someone for her advice column. But whatever it was about the discussion of this book this was a far more passionate a side to Leigh you have never seen before with all your years of knowing her. You assumed it is due to the topic of conversation and what she will be discussing in the book, it left you with an immense feeling of pride for your partner.

Maybe you were in a daze for a lot longer than you were anticipating considering the next thing you felt was Leigh’s hands cupping your cheeks “Y/N/N, Babe you good?” You nodded instantly “I’ve never been better.” As your eyes ran over Leigh’s face, she let out a little giggle as she placed a quick peck on your cheek and ran her thumbs over your cheekbones. “Good I’m glad.” You gave one last squeeze to her hips as you loosened your grip around her hips and placed another kiss on her lips. You slowly started walking backwards still keeping your eyes on her “Alright I’m just going to run back upstairs with this bag with my laptop, all my music things and stuff in it and I’ll be right back down, and we can relax for the rest of the night watching movies, that sound good?”  

Of course, to be annoying Leigh started groaning “ugh Come on if it’s just your laptop and stuff leave it here bring it up when we go to bed. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages.” You grinned as you played with the strap of your bag as you walked up the stairs “I’ll be super quick, you won’t even know I’ll be gone. Your treat, you can pick what movies we watch, what snacks we eat and what drinks…. If it’s alcohol or not you get the idea.” Leigh slowly approached the sofa as she was staring back at you trying to suppress a laugh with her eyes narrowed at you “fine, that’s a good deal. No, go hurry up.” The second those words left her mouth you raced up the stairs to do what you had to do.  

That night, as you both were lying in your bed asleep something, happened to Leigh that hadn’t happened to her since her and Danny were at the resort. She actually dreamt of Matt again. Though for some reason this time around she did not want to be dreaming of him, as much as she tried to wake herself up nothing was letting her. So, in her dreamlike state, she decided, albeit reluctantly she let her body relax. And the second she decided to settle she could hear Matt’s voice…faintly but she could hear it.

“Leigh, I’m here. Leigh, stop. Leigh, listen to me.” It was when she finally calmed did it hit her why she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, well for one reason she had you and she couldn’t lie she has never felt happier than when she is around you. However, on the other hand, she literally cannot stomach the sight of Matt since Danny decided to blurt out the fact about what could have happened…...may have happened…. or possibly did happen between Matt and Nina and it made her sick to her stomach. Although she literally could not complain it could be said it was the exact same thing with you and her. God her and Matt together were really…. something when you sit and think about it. So unwillingly Leigh raises her eyes to look at Matt. She swallowed dryly as she spoke “Matt.”  

Matt smirked lightly at the sound of his name leaving her mouth “Leigh. I know I can tell you really don’t wanna be here right now. But trust me when I say I will not keep you here for long. I just want to tell you and let you know it is okay to move on and live your life with Y/N. Don’t hold yourself back any longer from letting yourself fall fully for them. It’s been long enough Leigh of you holding yourself back from being in relationships with people. Even holding family members at arm's length. Dive in fully Leigh.” Leigh didn’t notice the tears building up in her eyes until she felt them roll down her cheeks as she nodded subtly and whispered “Thank you, Matt, this was something I needed to hear, and I didn’t even know it. But I want my last thing for you to hear is…I did really love you, I loved you a lot, Matt.” Matt smiled…a truthfully happy smile, one that Leigh hadn’t seen for a long time since Matt’s depression got worse. “I know you did Leigh, and I hope you know I did really love you too.” Leigh stared at Matt as she accepted everything that just happened, the acceptance of everything but before she could say anything else the scene around her slowly started to fade out. 

As Leigh woke and came to her senses as her eyes opened in the middle of the night. Her eyes scanned around the room she was currently lying in as she got her bearings again. She realizes she’s in your room, she can hear the soft inhale and exhale of your breathing as you continue to sleep. She turns over to face your back, as much as you two slept together in the same bed you both kept to yourselves and your sides of the bed as you slept. Both not being fully over the guilt and accepting you both can move on now. But as Leigh layed there coming to terms with the dream she just had, as she watched your shoulders rise and fall with each breath you were taking a small smile escaped across her face as what she imagined to be acceptance, finally allowing herself to fall and enjoy this relationship fully. Leigh slowly and very hesitantly propped herself on her elbow as she inched over closer to you making sure to not wake you in the process.

She draped her arm across your stomach and grabbed onto some of your shirt to make sure she was as close as she could be to you. Leigh breathed out a sigh of relief as she laid her head on the pillow beside you and took in your scent. Being able to relax fully for once…in a really… really long time. Leigh knew at that moment that would have to be another topic she would have to discuss in her book…. How it may have taken a while to accept and realize that it is okay to move on and find love again but that it is totally okay and proper. Needless to say, when you woke up the next morning you were surprised to see an arm draped over your stomach and the feeling of Leigh’s breathing hitting the back of your neck. Whilst it made you smile slightly you couldn’t help but feel the annoying gnawing feeling in the back of your mind and stomach. That guilt you still haven’t been able to come to terms with. You knew you’d have to deal with it and face it head-on sooner or later. But for now, you take a deep breath, place your hand on top of Leigh’s and close your eyes with the plan of going back to sleep.  

Needless to say, the next few weeks were busy for Leigh, as well as working her normal daily jobs the second she was finished she would either end up in her apartment or yours working on her book. You both were currently sitting in your office Leigh working on her book and you doing what seemed like a hundred and one things. From going between doing work on your laptop, writing things down in your notebook and going from instrument to instrument figuring things out,  Leigh honestly couldn’t figure out how you dealt and kept up with it all. You couldn’t lie ever since that morning you woke up with Leigh cuddling you, she had become a lot more affectionate than she already was and was spending a lot more time with you and around you…again not like you were complaining. You had no idea what changed with her, you adored it, but you couldn’t help but feel even more guilty about not giving her the same in return. “Hey Y/N/N?”  

You spin in your chair to face Leigh as you hum “mhmm what’s up Leigh?” 

“Do you mind if I make you my soundboard for a sec, just to see if what I have written makes sense and well…make sure it sounds good?”  

“Yeah sure of course, I mean…you listen to my ramblings far too much it’s the least I could do for you Hun.”  

“Okay so uhhh, here is what I have.” Leigh pauses ever so slightly and clears her throat “My analogy has always been, we all have this backpack that we wear that is full of trauma and pain and loss. And we walk through life with this weight on us. When you lose someone, the backpack doesn’t change the person doesn’t become forgotten, you just have to adjust how you get through life with that adjustment and that new weight.” You hear Leigh take a deep breath and her eyes stay stuck on her laptop screen “So um…. yeah, that’s what I have at the moment…. uh how does it sound?”  you stare at her mouth agape, you close your eyes and blink rapidly to and get rid of the tears. You clear your throat and shake your head “Leigh that…that is amazing. Perfect even. It… it explains everything so well and in a way that is so easy to understand.” As you gazed at Leigh as she started doing a little happy dance in her seat as she concentrated back on her work, it was in that moment you realized you were going to have to face your issues head-on with this guilt of Matt dying and dating Leigh. It was time to come to terms with it.

As you glanced at the time you realized just how long the both of you had been cooped up in this room, “hey Leigh d’you want me to go downstairs and make some stuff for lunch? Or do you just want me to do like…an early dinner?” You smirked as you saw Leigh’s hands pause over her keyboard as she thought about it “uhhh just make some lunch and we can do something for dinner later.” You push yourself off of your office chair and stride over to her and kiss the top of her head “I’ll try to get it done asap for you miss Shaw.” Leigh grinned up at you as you kissed her head relishing in the contact with you. Leigh watched you as you exited the room and heard the padding of your feet as you went downstairs.

She spun around and looked at your desk, as her eyes were darting across the table, she saw a huge folder with big LS initials on it and in tiny writing were the words, Leigh Shaw. The smile that spread across her face couldn’t be taken off her face as she approached your desk. As she flicked open the folder, she saw a bunch of music sheets with melodies written on them and some with just lyrics. Leigh didn’t realize how much time had passed as she was looking through all these songs that somehow relate to her or are just about her, some unreleased, some for your upcoming album and some she’s never ever seen or heard of. She was in awe right now seeing this collection of work that was all dedicated to her. Leigh was so enamoured she didn’t even hear you come up the stairs and into the room and jumped slightly when she heard the plates and mugs being placed on the desk. She laughed sheepishly as she looked up at you “heh….hi.”  

You bit your lip slightly to stop a laugh from escaping as you raised your eyebrows slightly “Hi Hun… so what you got there?”  

Leigh started moving her hands in the hair “psshh…it’s nothing…. well, no it is something and I’m sorry for snooping in your things I- I just saw my initials then my name and curiosity got the better of me Y/N I am so sorry.”  

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your mouth “Leigh, Hun it’s fine, you’re fine, you’re okay. It's not like I was exactly hiding that huge folder it was out in the open for literally anyone to see and read. I was just wondering how long it would take you to find it or at least notice it.”  

Leigh grinned to herself as she ran her fingers on the page that was opened. “But, wait hold on Y/N there are so many songs here that you have written here that in some shape or form relate to me? I thought the only song you wrote about me before was Green Eyes? Where did all these come from?”  

You sighed as you sat down on your chair as you wrapped your arms around her waist and dragged her down with you to sit on your lap. “I always had a bunch of songs written about you Leigh, you…you were my muse….my inspiration. Green Eyes just happened to be the song I finished the quickest and also happened to be the song I was the proudest of but I- of course for obvious reasons didn’t want it to be released. The others just took so long to write but they did end up getting finished. A lot of them were during our college years…but as you now know a lot of them are either getting put on this album or the next or the next or the one after that.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at you droning on about the possibilities of what songs could be on what albums, so she did one of the few things she knew would shut you up.

Leigh rolled her eyes and placed her hand over your mouth to quieten you down. “Okay Y/N sweetie, I get it now.” You stared up at her with soft eyes and you made sure when she least expected it, you decided to lick the palm of her hand. With the look of disgust that crossed Leigh’s face, you couldn’t help but laugh as she wiped her hand against your shirt as Leigh whined “ugh Y/N you’re so gross, why’d you have to ruin the moment.”  

As your laughter died down you stared at her “I’m very sorry, how inappropriate and very gross of me to do such a thing. But you can’t deny that you don’t love me, you love me very much.”  

Leigh sat against you with her head on your shoulder by your neck as she grabbed her food to start eating it. “You are very right, I do love you, I love you a whole lot.” You both smiled happily as you reached over for your food and started eating together.  

A few days after that incident, the piece that Leigh wrote would not leave your head, which of course ended up in you basically thinking about Matt constantly and you trying to move towards this acceptance and get on with your life and relationship. So, you tried to move towards that acceptance the only way you knew how…albeit you felt slightly weird about it. You started writing a song about Matt…. a song for Matt? Either way, it was a song aimed at Matt. which eased your guilt ever so slightly. Leigh told you she’d be gone for a while since she was meeting up with Drew about her advice column and to discuss her book with him as Leigh said “he seems like he’d know how to help me with well….this book stuff.”  

So here you were now walking in the graveyard looking for Matt’s gravestone to…. talk to him or maybe more so talk at him. As you were navigating around the graveyard you started clicking your tongue as you muttered to yourself “alright Matt where the heck are ya. I’ve been wandering around this graveyard for quite some time now.” As you continue to aimlessly walk through searching for his gravestone, eyes scanning every inch of the graveyard. If you weren’t so apprehensive about doing this you would’ve found the next thing to happen quite cute, although it was probably coincidental. Your eyes had just gotten a glimpse of the name Matthew James Greer on a headstone just as a butterfly landed on it. As you approached his grave a million and one thoughts crossed your mind. Honestly, you didn’t really know why you came here, you met him once as a favor to perform at his wedding for his bride…his wife… who was your best friend in college…. who you are now dating. Maybe you should have made more of an effort in college to get to know him better, for all of your sakes.  

You clear your throat “Uh Hi Matt, this is kind of odd…. mostly because I know you can’t respond to me but also because you probably only know me as the person that performed on your wedding day for your wife Leigh. I don’t know how much you actually heard about me from Leigh after that performance or even before when you both started dating during college because-” you can’t help but shake your head and laugh slightly

“if Leigh ever did mention it to you before something about a best friend, she had during college that was always stubborn and too busy to meet you because of their music. That was me, I was that best friend. Thinking back now I obviously wasn’t the best because I should’ve tried to get to know my best friend's boyfriend regardless of anything else that was going on or being felt. I guess I just want to actually introduce myself to you as Leigh’s best friend…even though I know it is a very odd and weird situation. But nevertheless, Hi Matt, nice to meet you I’m Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s best friend. We can ignore the music career for a moment. I just want to tell you…. if you’re hearing me somehow. That I kept my distance from you and Leigh because I had feelings for her for years all the time back in college and I didn’t know how to cope with that and thought I didn’t have a chance with her. So, I saw she was happy with you, and I let her be at her happiest with you. Those few hours I saw the two of you interacting on your wedding day, I knew you were good together and looked out for each other…now I of course don’t know the whole ins and outs of your relationship, but I know you cared for her and did your best and you truly loved her. And I know it’s probably weird now your wife’s new partner coming to talk to you about all of this…. but I just want you to know I will protect her with everything I have, and I will shower her with all of the love physically possible. I….I guess I just want you to know that she’ll be safe with me…or well to the best of my abilities.” you paused slightly to wet your lips after talking so long.

“Although about my music career, a few days ago Leigh read me an excerpt from a piece she had written for a book she’s writing about her journey with grief, acceptance and moving on. There was just something about it that hit me very hard, which resulted in me very quickly writing a song about, you, Leigh and I guess me kind of? And this weird situation. Considering I don’t know you well or at all. But it was therapeutic for me…. hugely. I never reference any of us by name and I’ve ever so slightly changed what actually happened, but it just sums up how I feel or well maybe felt about this whole situation it's called The Good Side. And I imagine it all probably could’ve been handled and dealt with better. But I-uh I just wanted to let you know first before anyone…not even Leigh knows. I’m not 100% sure if it’ll actually end up on any album of mine…but maybe it will if I get the courage to share it with people. But…...yeah thank you, Matt.”  

You take a deep breath after that speech and place your hand on top of his headstone as you tap it slightly as you walk backwards staring at his name. Before you finally turn around and walk away with home in mind.  

What you didn’t know earlier that day before Leigh went to meet with Drew again for her book and advice column. She went to the graveyard to visit Matt and talk to him, she couldn’t lie, she was ashamed she wasn’t going as much as she should have. Leigh stared at his name as she fumbled with a ring she was holding in her hands.

“This is going to sound terrible when I say it out loud first. I’m not staying here long to talk because well I have to meet with Drew to discuss work and my book…I’m writing a book about my grief and my journey with it…. It’s called Sorry for Your Loss. But the reason I’m not staying here long is that I have another way I actually want to do this…to speak to you. Remember that time when my mother got in contact with a friend, and I took drugs to meet you on your plane instead of mine. Well, I’m going to try to do that again so we can have an actual conversation and I know you’ll be hearing what I say, and you can respond accordingly. But anyways why I’m actually right now to bury this little ring I bought for it to be with you…and for you to have a piece of me at all times with you. Because you weren’t getting my actual wedding ring, whilst I may not wear it as much now, I still want it, to hold and to keep, to remind me of what I had once and what was good to me and for me once. That it wasn’t all just made up and a lie that my brain made up. Maybe at some stage, I’ll end up wearing my engagement and wedding ring on a necklace or something…. maybe…but there is a possibility it might get lost….and you know how I feel about losing things…especially things that are precious to me. But now I’m rambling and not doing what I’m here to do.”

Leigh kneels down into the grass as she starts digging a hole for the ring she bought, making sure it was deep enough that nothing would happen to it. Leigh sits back onto her legs as she stares at Matt’s name engraved into the stone and the now covered hole that’s protecting the ring. Leigh sighs as she stands up dusting off her pants and hands. She smiles sadly down at the plot of land as she whispers “I’ll see and talk to you soon Matt, I have someone else I need to go talk to.”  

As Leigh was approaching the door to their apartment, she couldn’t help but repeatedly mumble the phrase to herself “please don’t slam the door in my face, please don’t slam the door in my face.” She waited patiently in front of the door, she knocked and as the person approached the door on the other side, she could hear their footsteps. As soon as they opened the door Leigh’s head shot up to look at the person as she nervously bit her lip. The second Danny realized it was Leigh on the other side of the door he promptly went to slam the door she ran over and stuck her foot in between the closing of the door as she pressed her hand against it. “Danny, Danny, Danny. I won’t be here long I’m just here to say sorry and apologize for everything I did and how I acted around you. It was frankly unforgivable and horrible. So, if you just give me a few minutes and I’ll be out of your hair for good. You’ll never have to see me again. As Leigh was scanning Danny’s face trying to get a read on what his answer was going to be. Danny loosens his grip on the door and leans against the door frame as he lets out a breath and nods. “Okay say whatever you have to say.”  

Leigh lets out a deep breath as she fumbles with her hands and fingers. “Danny I’m so sorry for how everything went down and happened between us since Matt’s death. How everything happened was truly unforgivable. As terrible as it is to say it was a way for me to deal with my grief…it was a weird part of my grieving and healing process. Because…. Because I think in a way even if I didn’t admit it openly to me or to you…. though you may not want to hear this…you reminded me of Matt…. you- you were that last link to Matt for me and when we were doing whatever it was that we had going on. I was acting how I was when I was with Matt and honestly, it makes me sick that I treated you as a copy of him and as a coping mechanism-” Leigh paused as she ran her hands over her face and groaned as she mumbled “God this is going to sound so pretentious of me but I wrote something the other day for my book specifically about that time in my life and grief I wrote. We suffered a loss, and you don’t make major life decisions when you’re reeling from a loss. And that is exactly what we did, what we all did, we made a huge decision at the peak of our grief that changed our whole dynamic, that we cannot even stand to talk or even see each other anymore. For Christ's sake I was married to your brother, to me we’re still family no matter what. But due to the choices that we made it’s ruined that dynamic. So, I just want to say again I am truly sorry for what I did Danny and for treating you as if you were Matt, and as a coping mechanism.”  

When Leigh finally gets the courage to look Danny in the eyes she swallows dryly as she sees his unreadable expression. She raises her eyebrows slightly to get any response. He starts to nod slowly as he clears his throat. “Leigh, your apology is accepted, and I hope you know I’m sorry as well for how I treated you. As you said we were at the peak of our grief. But um…. I’m not going to say we can never see each other again or hang out since as you said we still are family…at least in a sense. I just- I just need to get to the grips of our dynamic now so we can regularly talk Leigh. But for now, I think…I think this is it.”   

Leigh smiles and nods sadly as she takes in everything Danny is saying.  

Just as Danny is about to close the door again, he pops his head out around the corner “but that’s not saying you’re not going to get a random emoji sent to you from time to time…you know just so you know I’m alive and you’re alive…right?”  

Leigh lets out a watery laugh as she smiles and nods hastily. “Definitely, Danny. See you around.”  

Danny smirks as he slowly closes the door “See you around Leigh.”  

Leigh was meant to go back to her own apartment once after her meeting with Drew and with her mom’s friend Neil again to get some DMT. She decided it would be best to have you around in case something went wrong. The minute she got in the door she leaned her back against it to close it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she tried to relax and calm herself after the exhausting day of fixing and making things right with so many people. As well as putting the finishing touches on her book and getting ready to decide to either publish it independently or with a publishing house. She was convincing herself it would all be worth it in the end.  

As you came down the stairs you looked over at Leigh leaning against the door with her eyes closed. You chuckled softly “hey Hun, you, okay? Are you just taking a lil nap by the door?” Leigh grinned the second she heard your voice “I’m okay sweetie, I was just taking a minute to myself after a long day.”   

Your brows furrow as look at Leigh “Long day? What happened? Is there anything I can do to help?” Leigh smirked as she walked over and pulled you into a hug “no you’re okay, I just went to visit Matt’s grave today, after that, I went to talk to Danny to clear things up and apologize for the way everything was handled and I finalized everything writing-wise anyway when it comes to the book so now I just have to decide if I want to publish it independently or with a publishing house.” You smile as you place your lips against the top of Leigh’s head and place multiple kisses on top as you mumble “I am so freaking proud of you and you for writing this book.” You pause slightly as you clear your throat “but um how was being at Matt’s grave and talking to Danny again after so long? Oh, also I visited Matt’s grave today to just talk to him as Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s college best friend not as the musician Y/N. Well…. Until the end when I said I wrote a song with him, you and I in mind.”  

Leigh hums against you “The visit with Matt was good, I just buried a lil ring I bought not so long ago so he’d have a piece of me with him all the time because I didn’t wanna get rid of my wedding ring. The talk with Danny went okay I apologized for everything, especially how I treated him. We may not talk or meet up for a while but that’s okay. I know I’ve done everything I can. Huh…. odd we both went to visit Matt on the same day…. But did it do you any good?”  

Leigh grins into your chest as she feels you nod above her “yeah, yeah it did.” You feel Leigh tense up slightly in your embrace “Leigh, you good?”  

Leigh pulls away from you slightly to look up at you “there’s one thing I wanna run by you, that I’m going to do I just want to know if you’re going to be okay with it. Though I have done it before.” Your hands grip her jacket a little tighter as you nod hesitantly waiting for her to elaborate. “So before whilst you were off in Vietnam, my mom called up one of her hold friends called Neil and he gave me DMT a-”  

“a hallucinogenic, psychedelic drug.”  

“Yes, exactly that, because Jules dreamed about him during that time, and I wasn’t having dreams of him anymore. So, I just wanted to see him so one of the only ways to do that was by this drug. So today when I went to visit him. I told Matt I would be contacting this friend again to get this drug to talk to him fully, to tell him everything. Everything that has happened and what I have coincidentally put into the book as well. What way me and you were in college, how I will always truly love him but honestly will probably never get over his death and all the unanswered questions I have in regard to him. But I have to move on and go forward and that is with you Y/N, I’d like to think the love of my life. And really just how fucking annoying it is and was when people tiptoe around me and everything else, they do that irritates me. I just…I just want to know if you’re okay with me telling him all of this even though it’s all going to be in my book anyway. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable in this whole situation.”  

You shake your head hastily as you placed kisses around her face, “You Miss Leigh Shaw do whatever you have to in this situation to make you feel at peace. I’m…although I hate the word a celebrity, I’m sure people would find out these things about me or possibly already have. Do what you got to do Miss Shaw.”  

“You are the greatest partner ever Y/N Y/L/N.” She leans up on her tippy toes as she places a chaste kiss against your lips. “But I do have one more question to ask, would you mind staying in the room with me and doing this whole thing with me. Just in case something goes wrong or happens that I need you right after?”  

You nod instantly as you look down at her with soft eyes “I will do whatever you need me to do Leigh. I am right here, and I am never leaving your side.” You both pause briefly as you take a deep breath and intertwine your hands together as you walk up the stairs together.  

As you get Leigh situated in a comfortable position on the bed and have the lights in the room dim as you hold the pipe between your fingers. “You ready for this?” Leigh nods slowly as she eyes the pipe as you bring it to her lips. “Wait wait wait, before you do anything.” you look at her with your eyebrows raised waiting for her to continue “can you play some of the instrumentals of your music on your phone whilst I’m doing this thing. Not exactly loud, just faintly. So, when I come back to here, I’m not going crazy thinking I’ve gone deaf or something from this.”  

You can’t help the chuckle that leaves your lips as you nod and place a quick peck on her lips “of course Hun.” You grab your phone out of your back pocket and do as she says. You raise the pipe up to her lips once again, she leans forward as she places her lips around the opening of the pipe. When you see her eyes start to close and her body goes limp you make sure to lean her back slowly and softly onto the bed. As you sit at the foot of the bed.  

One second Leigh was present in the room with you the next thing she knew she was standing in the same room as last time when she did this to see Matt, however the only difference this time was that there was no glass separating the two of them. Without even thinking about it she ran straight for him and embraced him in a tight hug as she just laid her head against his chest for a few minutes. She couldn’t help but feel calm as she felt his hand rubbing her back after a few minutes of standing in silence and hugging Matt, she decided to pull away from him to look at him. “I- uh it is really nice to see you again Matt.”  

Matt smiled slightly as he nodded “it’s good to see you as well Leigh.”  

She chuckles humorlessly as she says “I guess I should start the discussion I actually wanted to say to you now. Because I don’t know how long this state or place is going to last. Everything I’m discussing with you here I’ve written into my book, you’ll just be getting a much more condensed version of it.” Matt nods slowly as he gazes at Leigh. “I know Y/N visited you at your grave and said whatever they had to say to help them. That can stay private because it was for them, they needed it, I’m just glad they did something that helped them even if it was ever so slightly. But um, I guess I wasn’t completely honest with you when it came to our wedding and even after it. Because um the reason why I’d be playing Y/N’s music so much was that they were my best friend in college so, of course, I continued to support them. But I feel like I should’ve made it clear with you from the start when I was referencing my best friend in college that it was them, I was talking about. I- I guess at that time with you I think I saw them as still my little secret no one really knew about them yet when I should’ve just been honest-”  

Leigh gets cut off by Matt’s laughs “Leigh before you carry on, I have to say I also think you weren’t telling me about them because there were feelings there for them that you never knew you had…. or maybe you did know and pushed them away because it was so long ago. But I have a feeling that’s why you never mentioned them to me as well in case you said or let something slip that I shouldn’t have known.”  

Leigh stares at him wide-eyed as her mouth is slightly agape as she nods slowly as she comes to that realization “yeah…. yeah, that too. I will say though Y/N in college and still, now they haven’t changed they truly were amazing and the best person you could ever meet. I’m… it does make me slightly sad and upset they never truly got to meet you. We really had the best of times, they’d listen to all my ramblings and deal with me being difficult and stubborn. Much like you dealt with me whenever I was like that. I’d listen and try to help them out to the best of my abilities when it came to music and lyrics much like I still do today. We just worked well together. But I guess them pulling away from me in college and even after college it all makes sense now since I found out they had feelings for me. I do really wish they had met you because now that I think of it you both are kind of similar, I imagine you both would have gotten on well together and you both would have been great at annoying the hell out of me yet have been very protective of me no matter what.”  

Matt smiles at Leigh softly full of adoration “I am really glad you’re happy now Leigh by yourself and with Y/N because it does sound like they do bring out the best in you.” Leigh laughs quietly to herself, and she looks down at her shoes to hide the slight blush on her cheeks at the thought of you. 

When it hits her the next topic, she wants to discuss is Leigh feels the tears building up in her eyes she shuts them quickly and blinks rapidly trying to get rid of them. But she hears a faint “Leigh.” come from Matt's mouth so she slowly raises her eyes to meet his “you know you don’t have to hide your emotions from me, I understand that this is a lot for you to go through and then have to talk about it. With the person that in a way caused those hard times. Leigh shakes her head rapidly as if it was the most absurd thing he could have ever said.

“No no, it’s fine. I just- I want you to know yet again that I did truly love you and I think I always will no matter what purely because…okay maybe this is going to sound a bit cliche but that was our own unique relationship and love and no one can or will take that from us, Matt. But I also think…no no I know that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over your death no matter how hard I try, no matter who is around me. But I…I can’t stay in that place of grieving feeling stuck forever feeling hurt and pain because I just won’t be able to survive that, living in that pain, hurt and grieving for as long as I live. I can’t survive. I won’t survive it. So, I have to move on with my life and move forward. As much as that may sting as well, it just has to be done.”  

Leigh sighs softly as she realizes she’s nearing the end of her discussion as she leans against the wall in this weird place. “This …one of the last things I wanna say to you isn’t directly to do with you, it’s just about grief in general and what annoys me about it. I had this conversation with Danny quite soon after your death, but I just need to say it to someone else again. I hate when people use the word condolences. I hate how in the beginning, everyone wants to send you flowers and donate to, like, a foundation for your dead person. And then they stop calling and writing and doing nice things for you because they're over it, and they expect you to be over it. I hate running into someone I haven't seen in a long time, and I know they know you’re dead. But we have an entire conversation, and they never bring you up. They never say they're sorry. They don't ask how I'm doing. They just pretend like everything's fine. I hate that.”

She runs her hands over her face as she takes a breath “someone sent in a question before to my advice column and it was about a break-up right after you had passed, and it has been stuck in my head ever since and especially how I was going to answer it. What they asked me was, ‘Everyone keeps telling me that I'll get over him. Everyone keeps telling me it's not the end of the world, but if that's true, then why does it feel like the end of the world?’. The answer I had typed out was ‘The reason everyone keeps telling you it's not the end of the world is because it's not the end of their world. They don't have to figure out how to live inside a world that's over. You do.’ And I think I can finally say…. I’ve figured out or at least starting to figure out how to live inside a world that doesn’t involve you.”  

Matt grins at Leigh albeit sadly he takes her into a warm and loving embrace. “I’m very proud of you Leigh and I just know you’re going to achieve great things.” As Leigh has her head pressed against her chest a thought comes to mind and she mumbles “Hey Matt, can I ask you one last question before I go?”  

Matt tenses slightly but nods albeit hesitantly “yeah go ahead.”  

Leigh takes a deep breath as she steps away from him “Matt, how did you die? Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose?”  

Matt lets out an exasperated sigh “Leigh…”  

Leigh shakes her head slowly “no Matt just tell me. I need some sort of closure for that question”  

Matt sighs as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath “okay okay, but you have to promise me this stays with you. No one else gets to know.” Leigh nods instantly as she stares at him with soft eyes. 

“Leigh it was-”  

One second you were nearly falling asleep with your eyes closed at the foot of the bed, the next thing you heard Leigh gasp as her eyes shot open. You quickly ran up to sit beside her as you ran your hands all over her face making sure she was okay. “Hey hey, Leigh, Hun, you, okay? Are you good?”  

Leigh instantly softens at your touch as she subtly leans into it and nods slowly as she whispers out “I’m good, no need to worry about me. I think we both just need to enjoy a relaxing night for the two of us night after a rather long day.  

It's been a few weeks now since that night. Leigh decided to publish her book with a publishing house. It was no surprise to you and everyone else that her book was very well received and quickly rose to be a number one bestseller. As for the album…that was actually finalized, and the talks of the tour had started and finished very quickly. As your management started booking venues and states for you to tour.  Which…. You had yet to tell Leigh about not with bad intentions you just wanted this time to be about her and the success she was having. You didn’t wanna rain on her parade.

This explains where you are right now, which is in a room standing beside Leigh as she talks to all of her friends that came to a little party to celebrate Leigh’s book being labelled as a number 1 best seller. You knew Leigh was a bit sad that her mother Amy and Jules weren’t there to celebrate with her although she was trying to convince you it was fine, she had you to celebrate with her and that’s all she needed. But little did she know you got into contact with them and luckily it didn’t take much convincing for them to come to visit and celebrate with their daughter and sister.  

You lean your head against the top of Leigh’s as you both hear a knock. Leigh’s about to answer it as you tug her backwards by her dress, you place a kiss against her temple as you mutter “I’ll answer it, you stay with everyone else Hun.”  

Leigh looks at you with furrowed brows “but everyone is here already Y/N/N.” You give her waist a tight squeeze and a tight-lipped smile as you go answer the door. Leigh can’t help but eye you suspiciously as she watches you walk off but ends up shrugging it off and falling back into conversation with Becca and Drew. As you pulled open the door you let out a sigh of relief as you saw the two people Leigh wanted most right in front of you. You grinned as you pulled them both into a tight hug not quite believing they were actually here. After a few minutes, you heard Amy say “alright, where’s the girl we should be celebrating today?”  

Your smile couldn’t get any bigger than it already was yet somehow it did “She’s right inside the last time I saw her she was talking to Drew and Becca about something.” You moved to the side of the door to let Amy and Jules through as you closed the door behind them. The second you had the door closed you heard Leigh faintly say “honey, who was at the door?”  

You walked in behind Amy and Jules standing behind Leigh “why don’t you look behind you and find out?” Simultaneously everybody looked to where your voice came from as a collective gasp was heard throughout the whole room. Leigh spun around to face you with her mouth agape the second she saw her mother and sister, the tears streaming down her face didn’t even register with her as she ran over to embrace both of them. You smiled softly at the three of them as you stepped back to give them their own time together but before you could go anywhere Leigh stuck out her hand and grabbed your shirt and pulled you over to them to join the hug.

As you’re all still standing in the hug one of the members of Leigh’s team walks in and clears her throat. “Alright everybody we have a very special and important announcement to make for the main woman of the day. All of us are very proud and honoured to have worked with Leigh for the last while and hope for us to work together more in the future. But for now, we are all very pleased to say that Leigh Shaw’s very first book Sorry for Your Loss is officially a number one bestseller. -” She gets interrupted by a round of applause and cheers from everyone in the room as Leigh starts to get teary-eyed again. As the applause and commotion start to die down, she clears her throat “and with that, we have an announcement to make Leigh has known about this for a few days now but everyone swore her to secrecy so she couldn’t even tell her amazing, brilliant partner Y/N, sorry about that by the way.” You shake your head and laugh slightly as Leigh’s grip on your shirt only seems to get tighter. “But we are proud to say our very own Leigh Shaw will be going on a book tour around America for a few weeks which will be starting very soon in a couple of weeks' time.”

You tense up ever so slightly but make sure to keep a smile on your face as you lean over and kiss the top of Leigh’s head and mumble “I’m so proud of you.” Unbeknownst to you, Leigh noticed how you immediately tensed at the news and plastered on what you thought was a believable smile. She could take a guess that you had news about your career and album but weren’t drawing attention to it, so all of the focus was on Leigh for a change and not you.  

As it was nearing the end of the gathering and people were leaving, the anxious feeling you got since Leigh’s announcement only grew tenfold as you got told more information about when her book tour starts. Only because you knew you were going to have to tell her this before it got too late. Considering the party was at your house you walked Amy and Jules up to the spare rooms you had to rest for the night. You paused at the top of the stairs and took a deep breath in as you heard the clinking of glasses and plates as Leigh cleaned up downstairs. You very slowly and hesitantly started walking down the stairs to approach Leigh just as she walked past you into the living room with two mugs of tea. “You coming in here or not Y/N?” You walk into the living room albeit apprehensively as you sit beside Leigh. Which she wasn’t a fan of as she made you sit sideways so she could lie in between your legs as she handed you your mug. She spoke softly “you tensed up.”  

Your brows furrowed slightly as you sip your tea “huh?”  

“When the announcement was made about my book tour you tensed up and plastered on a smile. So, what haven’t you shared with me or well any of us yet.”  

You let your head fall against the back of the sofa as you sigh “Well as you know my album releases in a few days and my tour starts very shortly after that. I think it could be just before your book tour starts or maybe even the same week.”  

Both of you sat in silence for a few minutes as you both let this new information linger in the air and just fully sink in. Leigh turned around slowly to face as she came to the realization “Yo- you won’t be able to come with me on my book tour and I won’t be on yours.” You looked at Leigh sadly as you shook your head trying your best to keep the tears at bay “No, no I won’t be with you on your book tour, and it pains me to say I won’t be there with and for you.”  

Leigh’s eyes dart rapidly around the room and across your face as she quickly tries to think of some solution on the spot “B-but can’t we- isn’t there something? -” Leigh deflates slightly as it hits her all at once “there’s nothing we can do to change this is there?”  

You place both of your mugs onto the coffee table as you move your hands onto her cheeks to stop her tears from escaping. As your words come out broken “no there really isn’t anything we can do.”  

The sobs that escaped Leigh surprised the both of you as she fell forward and cried into your chest. It felt like her whole body was hurting her with the sobs that came from her. You wrap your arms around Leigh and lift her up onto your lap as you rub her back. “It’s only for a few weeks Leigh, I believe we can do this, we can get through this, I’ll make sure we call, text, facetime and literally whatever else is possible in this day in age. To make sure we have constant contact even though I know it’s going to be a struggle and it’s going to suck with how much work we will have to do constantly whilst we’re both away. But I got you, you got me, we have each other. I’m-” you pause slightly to laugh “I’m going to say some lyrics to a new song I’ve been working on, it is probably going to sound very cliche and cheesy, but I like it, so I hope you do too. If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you. You’d be the spoon, dip you in honey, so I could be sticking to you.”  

You feel the movement of Leigh laughing before you actually hear it as she hums in agreement “you were right that was very cliche and cheesy. What other lyrics do you have written for that song?”  

You throw your head back in fake thought “Umm…. literally nothing that’s all I got so far besides knowing it’ll probably be called Daylight.”  

Leigh leans her chin against your chest “that’s cute but why Daylight?”  

You groan even more at that question “great even more cliche and cheesiness “Because whenever I see you, you just are the epitome of Daylight to me. You just shine so bright and bring a level of warmth into my life that no one else has ever been able to achieve. And that’s been since college not just recently.”  

Leigh grins as she pats your cheek slightly “You’re cute. But come on let’s get ready for bed we have a busy few days ahead of us.” You sigh as you see her stand up holding her hand out for you to take. You intertwine your fingers between hers as you reluctantly stand up clean up the last few things and walk upstairs.  

It had finally reached the day you both were dreading, the day you both wish you could’ve put off for as long as physically possible. You both over the last few weeks had naturally been stuck to each other's hips. Everywhere you could go you went together besides when it came to situations such as work or just using the bathroom. You both soaked up as much time together as physically possible. Here you both were standing outside your front door looking at the two different cars taking you both to two different states. That was another thing you both did. You  basically studied your dates to see if you both were in the same states at any moment in time…. easy to say that wouldn’t be happening. You clenched your eyes as you turned towards Leigh and placed your hands on her cheeks as softly as you possibly could as if any rougher touch would shatter her like a porcelain doll. You placed a long passionate kiss on her lips trying to delay the inevitable. However, you slightly ruined the kiss by smiling slightly when you felt Leigh’s hands wrap around your wrists.  

Leigh pulled back slightly as she rested her forehead against yours, you gazed at her softly as you murmured “It’s just us, always. No matter what, okay? Leigh nodded slowly as she gave you another kiss. You both reluctantly stepped away from each other as you walked toward your separate cars. As you both opened the doors you gave each other a look of understanding and nodded subtly to each other. That was the last thing you both saw as you sat in the car.  

You were happy to say the first two weeks of the tour were easy and good for both of you. Both of you were getting good sleep, texting each other updates even if the other was busy and Leigh was even sending you pictures of your posters and billboards in different states and places as she travelled. So of course, in return, in every bookshop you passed that displayed Sorry for Your Loss in the window you took pictures and sent them to Leigh. Today was 2nd day off in a row which you were thankful for because your voice was going, and it needed the rest. So here you were lying on the bed in your hotel room in New York? Honestly, you couldn’t remember. But you were at your happiest because you were on facetime with your amazing partner who was also resting in her hotel for the night. However, she was giving out to you claiming “Y/N/N Honey as much as I love you, you need your voice for your job shouldn’t you not be talking altogether?”  

You roll your eyes ever so slightly as you shrug “I mean I guess I should be but… I needed to hear your voice and actually see you in front of me for a few hours. I’m getting sick and tired of texting and not being able to hear or see you. And even then, I probably would’ve used voice notes and you would’ve been giving out to me through text.”  Leigh rolled her eyes in response, but you could see the grin she was trying to hide from you. You zoned out slightly as you stared at something placed on the desk on the other side of the room, not realizing Leigh was trying to get your attention. But quickly came back to reality when you heard her softly say “hey honey, you good?” Your eyes dart back to the screen and grin as you nod. Leigh chuckles nervously

“okay, okay but honey why are you looking at me like that? You never looked at me this way before?”  

You looked at her confused “I- I uh I dunno what way I just looked at you sorry, I guess I just miss you a lot that’s all Hun. But if you didn’t like it, I’ll try not to look at you that way ever again.”  

Leigh rapidly shakes her head “no no no it’s okay I liked it, it- it was just new that’s all. But um the reason I was trying to get your attention Y/N/N was that I got to go get some sleep since I have to be up early tomorrow. But I loved that we got a day to just kind of exist together again for a few hours…. even if it was through facetime. It helped a bunch.” You smiled softly at her as you nodded “okay Hun, you go get some well-deserved sleep yeah?” Leigh grinned softly as she blew a kiss towards the camera and quickly disappeared off your screen.

It was the next few weeks where the issues and problems had started between the two of you. You were both getting more tired and stressed, which led to you both being quite cranky when it came to your usual texts and calls. You honestly couldn’t even recall what your arguments would be about, one second, you’d be talking filling each other in on any interesting interactions you’ve had. Then you’d both be yelling at each other. The only cause of the tension between the both of you was the possibility of not sleeping well due to becoming so accustomed to sleeping with and next to each other. Sleeping in a double bed alone with no one beside you after so long, the bed felt huge, you felt lost in it.  

Which brought you to the conversation you were about to bring up now with Leigh. Everything was calm between you both so far, but you knew this could set her off. “Hey, Leigh?”  

She hummed in response  

You sighed, that was another addition during this time short snappy answers coming from both sides. Just no length, no detail at all to these messages. “Leigh is it alright if I ask you a question?”  

Leigh tore her eyes away from whatever she was doing and stared at the screen as she raised her eyebrows waiting for you to continue. 

You muttered a fuck under your breath when you saw her stare “I was just going to ask, how you’ve been sleeping whilst you’ve been away? I’m just wondering because-”  

Leigh narrows her eyes at you and bites her lip slightly “What, what is it Y/N? Do I look tired and exhausted is that why you’re asking me? Am I not the pretty, beautiful Leigh you fell in love with?”  

You stare at the screen shocked and puzzled as you stutter out “Wha- what no Leigh, you didn’t let me finish my question-” 

Leigh cuts you off yet again “No, you know what Y/N am I so fucking sorry that me missing my partner, missing being around my partner 24/7 has such a negative effect on my looks, how I act, how I interact with people constantly, working and travelling constantly and driven me to a level of stress I didn’t even know existed. I am so sorry that my work has affected me in such a negative way that you can’t stand it anymore, possibly can’t stand me or even like me anymore. I am so sorry for doing that to you-”  

You absent-mindedly had started pacing the room you were currently staying in “Leigh…oh my God Leigh will you let me finish and get out the rest of my fucking question? You’re freaking out and blowing up on me for no fucking reason here.”  

Deep down Leigh knew she was being unreasonable here, but she just couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. She was just so overworked, tired, and stressed and she missed you so fucking much. She never realized until this tour just how much she loved and adored you. She just wanted you back in her arms, she was so attached to you, and she didn’t care if it wasn’t healthy. She needed you, she wanted you. But that didn’t stop the next words from tumbling out of her mouth.  

“OH, for no fucking reason really!?” She grimaced internally as she scoffed you know what Y/N I think it’s best if we both go to sleep for the night.”  

You scoffed slightly at the words coming out of her mouth you started to finish off your question whether she’d like it or not, that’s even if she heard it as she started to disconnect the call without even saying good night. As you hastily said, “I was just going to say I was just wondering because I have been missing you a lot and I haven’t been sleeping right without you beside me.”  

She was gone off the screen as you finished the question. You thought she hadn’t heard the rest of the question as you threw your phone on your bed watching it roll to the floor.  

Meanwhile, Leigh was staring blankly at her screen mouth agape with tears in her eyes as she heard what you were initially going to say to her. God, she was a fucking idiot. The sooner both tours were over the better.  

It’s been a week since that night you and Leigh hadn’t texted or called each other. Radio silence. You both could’ve been dead and none of you would know. But you were on your way home to California for the last show of your tour. You couldn’t have been happier to be on the final date of the tour. You knew Leigh had still another 2 weeks of her tour you could only hope it would get easier for her, you could go and visit her on one of her dates…then again you two weren’t exactly talking at the moment. So maybe that wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Your team decided on the last few dates of the tour instead of flying from place to place only, when necessary, of course, they decided to hire a tour bus for you all to stay on for the trek back to California.

So, as you all pulled into a random town to fill the bus up on gas and just take a break from driving. You decided to walk around the random town and explore a little, you were living in your own little bubble with your headphones on looking into random shop windows when one caused you to stop in your tracks. That’s when you saw Leigh’s book on display in the front window, you couldn’t lie you teared up slightly at the sight of her book and her name in big writing…your emotions may have been heightened due to not talking to her.

On instinct, you took out your phone to take a picture and send it to her. As soon as the picture is sent you internally cursed yourself as you remembered you two weren’t exactly on speaking terms. But as you stood there deep in thought a wild thought came to mind as you ran across the road and ran into the shop. You didn’t even bother looking around the store, you walked straight up to the cashier. “Hi there, I’d like to buy every single copy that you have of Sorry for Your Loss by Leigh Shaw.” You don’t blame the cashier for looking at you weirdly he nodded slowly as he started typing something up. “You must really need help with your grief if you’re buying every single copy of it that we have.”  

You nodded slightly and chuckled “yeah sure let’s go with that buddy.” Since the cashier was searching something up you decided to text your team the address of where you were because there was no way in hell you were getting back to the bus with all those books.  

When the cashier, your team and you finally finished loading the books onto the bus. You walked back into pay “Also just so you know Jordan, I wasn’t buying every single book because I’m struggling with grief. I’m buying them because I’m being a supportive partner and supporting mine in her career endeavours.” It was then the cashier realized who you were “holy shit.” but before he could say or do anything else you were gone.

As you got on the bus and looked at all the books you couldn’t help but laugh, you knew you had to send a picture to Leigh no matter what, you knew it would make her smile. You stared at the screen as the picture was sent waiting to see if you would get any sort of response from her. Needless to say, you were shocked when you saw her send heart and kissy-face emojis to you. It may not have been much, but it was something and it was better than nothing.  

It was the night of your final performance, and you were freaking the fuck out for some reason. You had never been so nervous about a show before. I mean there was a possibility of it being due to the fact you were performing in your home state…though you’ve performed here before maybe it’s due to a bigger crowd. It was just something you couldn’t shake but you knew it would all be okay once you were out there. You had gotten a text from Leigh earlier in the day wishing you good luck and that she knew you were going to kill it. So that helped eased you ever so slightly.  

You were in the middle of your set on stage when you started hearing cheers and screaming though you were doing nothing. You squinted out looking at the crowd as you took out one of your in-ears. You brought the mic up to your mouth as you spoke “guys, hey what's going on out there? Do y’all need water or something?”  

You received an overwhelming collective “NO!” Back to you.  

You laughed “Okay, okay so what’s going on fill me in on your little secrets.” you groaned ever so slightly as you sat down at the edge of the stage. You then heard a chant starting with a name of a person you adored. “LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH.”  

You laughed and shook your head “yeah guys I know, I know. Go Leigh and well done for everything she’s achieved so far but sadly she isn’t here tonight.” However, that didn’t stop the chanting, if anything it only got louder. You rolled your eyes and pointed your mic out at the crowd. “Do you guys want me to start singing again, I mean that is what you all are here for isn’t it?” They answered with yet another no. You started humming a random tune into the mic as your eyes scanned the crowd as you noticed weird movement happening out there. You squinted and pursed your lips as you examined the area. You nearly dropped your mic at what you saw next.  

You stared out into the crowd wide-eyed and mouth agape as you saw Leigh basically being escorted to the front of the pit by all of your fans as they all started chanting Leigh again. You leaned down towards the security as you explained to them who that woman was and to help her over the barrier as smoothly as possible. Which didn’t go smoothly at all, she stood in the space between the stage and the crowd looking up at you. You held your hand out wordlessly inviting her up on the stage with you. Leigh instantly shook her head and exclaimed “Are you crazy I’m not going up there.” You rolled your eyes as you jumped down off the stage and threw her over your shoulder as you got back into the stage. With Leigh clinging onto you for dear life and screaming in your ear. As you got back onto the stage you leaned forward trying to get your breath back as Leigh slapped you slightly “excuse me I am not that heavy, that’s all muscle!”  

You nodded your head “I know, I know.” One of the crew members ran on stage with a spare mic for Leigh to use as you both spoke. You laughed “okay this concert has taken a very different turn tonight guys I’m sorry.” All you got was a cheer in response, you rolled your eyes.  

“Okay first off Leigh, how are you here?”  

Leigh grimaced “I uh… I cut my book tour short the dates are getting rescheduled don’t worry but um I needed a break from doing all that. But mostly the reason why I am here is that I missed you too much and I honestly think I was going a bit crazy not being around you as often as I used to be.” You smiled softly at her and gazed at her lovingly as she continued to speak “and you know more than anyone how I was acting and it just…it wasn’t right- and there you go with that look again. The one I’ve only seen once before and that was over facetime.”  

God this is either going to be a really stupid idea or it’s going to be a really smart one. “Uhhh…one second Leigh. Hey guys!” you shout out into the crowd, the response you get back is a bunch of cheers. You laugh at the situation you’re in right now “Do you guys think you could sing to Leigh for a moment whilst I go grab something from backstage really quick?” Before you know it, they started singing Green Eyes, you turn towards Leigh quickly and place a quick kiss on her lips before you run off backstage to grab what you needed.  

You run back on stage as you walk towards Leigh and pull her towards you to stand up. You take a deep breath in as you slowly get down on one knee Leigh stares at you wide-eyed. You place the mics down on the floor knowing thousands of people didn’t near to hear your personal love declaration.

“Leigh Shaw, my partner, the love of my life, the thorn in my side. I know this whole situation between us probably has been going on for years and we didn’t even know it. You really are the love of my life, I wrote a song about it years ago when I thought I had lost you for good. Unsurprisingly called Love of My Life. But I am truly so sick and tired of life and time passing us by so quickly, time and ourselves have ruined years of love and happiness we could’ve been spending and giving it to each other. And this time apart has only solidified that although maybe it all panned out this way for a reason. But Leigh Shaw, I want to spend the rest of my life with you however long that may be. Before I ask you one of the most important questions, I will ever ask, I have a little fact for you. Only 2% of the population has green eyes. I don’t wanna be with anyone else who is in that percentage, you Leigh Shaw are the only person from that percentage that I wanna be with and write songs about till the day I die. So, Leigh Shaw will you please marry me?”  

As you stared at Leigh you saw the stream of tears rolling down her face as she smiles at you and nods rapidly “of course I will, I’d be stupid not to after everything you’ve done for me and everything we’ve been through.” You stand up as Leigh wraps her arms around your neck embracing in a long-overdue kiss. You both get brought back to where you actually are as you hear the cheers you pull back slightly as you slowly put the ring on Leigh’s finger. You bend down to pick up the mics Leigh  whispers “finish your concert, I’ll be right backstage or at the side listening and watching you.” You let out a breath as you kiss her on final time before you carry on with your show.  

After you finally finish your concert you and Leigh are walking back to the tour bus as she stares at the ring “when did you even get this, when did you even have the time to get this?”  

You laugh as you kiss the side of her temple “Oh Leigh, Hun I’ve had that ring for months. Remember that time when I came in from work and you first told me about wanting to write a book?” Leigh nods slowly as she recalls that memory “Yeah…. well remember I was adamant on bringing my bag upstairs even though I claimed it was just my music stuff?” Leigh nods again as she sends you a glare and hums. “Yeah well, I’ve had it since around then.”  

Leigh scoffs and pinches your side “you're a jerk-” Leigh pauses as she looks down at the ring again “but it’s beautiful, pretty and everything in between so it’s okay.” When you both finally reach the tour bus and sit down you both simultaneously let out a groan. You turn Leigh’s head to look at you by grabbing her chin with your thumb and index finger. “I love you, Leigh Shaw.”  

Leigh grins and gazes at you in adoration “I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” You both place your foreheads against one another as you place a loving kiss on each other's lips. 

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