#leigh shaw x female reader

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (1/?)

“I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand,” you say, hands retreating into the pockets of your white coat. Leigh takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she knows will be a difficult conversation.

“I recently found out that my husband was cheating on me,” she says, her green eyes boring into yours. “With you.” Or the one where you fall in love with the widow of an ex-lover you never knew was married.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 6k+ | Warnings: None for now | A/N: I wrote about 30k words of the Succession Wanda but hit a wall in terms of plot progression. So that's on hold. Allow me to apologize with this two-shot. P.S. I've always wanted to write for Leigh, and this idea came out of nowhere. Loosely based on canon.

Masterlist | Next Part

-

Leigh wakes up in a bed that’s not hers for the first time in months, and the unfamiliar scent of freshly cut grass and cedarwood almost immediately overwhelms her senses, suffocating her with its cloying sweetness.

“Jules?” she croaks out, her mind clawing its way through the fog. When it lifts a few seconds later, Leigh realizes where she is and what she’s done.

And how she’s very, very naked underneath the sheets. 

The person lying next to her in the bed starts to move. Right away, she knows it's not her sister, unless she's somehow caught up in a prank she doesn't find amusing at all. And so, she braces herself for her dead husband’s brother's voice to shatter the silence.

But it never comes. Instead, an arm drapes itself across her stomach, pulling her towards warmth. Leigh gets the sudden urge to vomit, except she skipped dinner and there isn’t anything to bring up. Last night, in a desperate attempt to fill the void left by Matt's absence, she had reached out to someone she shouldn't have. Someone Leigh didn’t even like to begin with. A knot tightens further in her stomach as she considers what her husband’s ghost would think. 

Would he approve? Would he feel betrayed or disgusted as she does?

Careful not to disturb Danny, who still sleeps soundly beside her, Leigh slips out of bed with the grace of a cat. She gathers her clothes from the floor and dresses herself with heavy limbs, each garment reminding her of how Danny had taken them off her body. 

As messed up as it sounds, Leigh can't help but draw parallels between him and Matt. They share the same blood, but there's not a single trait in Danny that triggers memories of Matt. With Danny, it's all about his own desires, his movements reflecting his wants. But with Matt, it's like he's always bending to Leigh’s will, submitting to her.

It tears Leigh’s heart anew. 

As she finishes dressing, Leigh glances around searching for her watch. She second-guesses whether she even wore it last night, the disarray of her thoughts mirrored in the disarray of the room. Her eyes scan the bedside table, the floor, and the dresser, but there's no sign of the timepiece.

A sudden sound from Danny startles her, and she freezes in place. She doesn't believe she can prevent herself from literally bolting out of the house if he so much as breathes her name. She’s rooted in her spot however, waiting for his breathing to steady, her heart pounding in her ears. Only when she's certain he's in a deep slumber does she release a pent-up breath, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. In that moment, she mentally curses herself once more, acutely aware of the mess she's created, before tiptoeing towards the bedroom door and abandoning the search for her watch altogether.

As she considers her options, she entertains the idea of escaping town altogether. Maybe if she leaves, she can avoid Danny for the coming days, possibly forever. Leigh wonders if she ever made Matt feel this trapped, inadvertently pushing him to leave in the only way he knew she could never follow.

-

Several days after ignoring Danny’s calls and attempts to talk to her, he retaliates by telling her the most absurd thing about his brother.

He tells Leigh she wasn’t the only one. There had been two others in the last year. 

And the last one, he fell for hard. Or at least that’s what Danny believes.

“I don’t believe you,” she says, her eyes beginning to sting a little. “If you think making me hate Matt would change my mind about us, then—”

“I’m not trying to manipulate you, Leigh,” Danny interrupts calmly, shaking his head. “I just believe you deserve to know the truth. Maybe it'll help you stop blaming yourself and move on.”

“It just seems a little too convenient that this 'truth' works in your favor to tarnish Matt's reputation, doesn't it?” Leigh points out with a humorless smile. She’s always thought the worst of Danny, but she never imagined he’d go as far as fabricating a story just to get her on his side.

“I understand your skepticism, I do. I couldn’t believe it at first either,” he says, his gaze dropping to the ground as if the transgression he’s confessing were his own, not Matt’s. “But think about it. Have you ever walked in on Matt just as he's ending a call? Noticed how he's suddenly started spending more time at work, consistently twice a week? And what about his sudden interest in going to the gym and being conscious about what he eats? These are all signs, Leigh.”

His words push her to think about it, even though she doesn't want to. Leigh starts to reflect on how Matt had stopped leaving his phone unattended during showers, how he had suddenly logged off his social media accounts from her laptop, or the noticeable enhancement of his physique—all juxtaposed against a lingering decrease in his appetite for intimacy with his wife.

“I…” Leigh hesitates, searching for a rebuttal but finding none. Then Danny gives her a look—one of pity and longing that makes her want to crawl out of her skin—and suddenly she finds herself vehemently denying all of it.

“I still don’t believe you,” she says, desperately clinging to the last shreds of the illusion she had crafted around her marriage.

Danny's expression remains unreadable and it drives her further up the wall. “Fine. Believe what you want, Leigh. I'm just trying to look out for you.”

Leigh's jaw tightens. “Regardless of what you say—whether it’s real or not—I know what I want, and it's not to be with you.”

He keeps up the stony facade, opting instead to pull a card out of his wallet and hand it to her. Leigh accepts the card, her fingers quivering, as a solitary tear finally breaks free and trails down her cheek.

Danny begins to reach out, intending to brush away her tear, but hesitates at the last moment, withdrawing his hand. 

“See for yourself. Goodbye, Leigh.”

-

Just two days later, Leigh finds herself in front of the small animal clinic you own, situated a short walk away from Beautiful Beast—the fitness studio her mom owns and where she works. 

Though the sun hangs low in the sky, she's been awake long before it began to rise. She waits for the receptionist to flip the sign from “Sorry, we’re closed” to “Come in, we’re open,” ignoring the curious glance directed her way when the receptionist notices she isn’t accompanied by a furry companion. With a determined smile on her lips, Leigh pushes open the door and steps into the clinic knowing she'll leave it with answers—whatever they might be.

The receptionist looks up from her computer, her expression shifting from curiosity to concern when she sees the look on Leigh's face. “Can I help you?” 

Leigh clears her throat, trying to steady her voice. She tells her she’s looking for you, her words coming out in a rush.

The receptionist furrows her brow. “Do you have an appointment?”

Leigh shakes her head, blinking rapidly as she comes up with an excuse. “No, it's... it's urgent,” she stammers. “I need to speak to her right away.”

The receptionist appears mildly annoyed, but it doesn’t faze Leigh in the slightest. “I'll check if she's available. Please take a seat,” she says.

Leigh nods mutely and sinks into one of the chairs. She clasps her hands together tightly in her lap, trying to quell the rising tide of panic threatening to consume her. She imagines Matt’s ghost watching her this very second, frowning at her doubts about their relationship by coming here in the first place. 

And what if she’s wrong? What if Matt wasn’t cheating on her after all? But Leigh had to come here to put the issue to rest. Matt would understand why she needs to do this. He always did. 

A few moments later, the door behind the reception desk opens and the receptionist emerges from it, motioning for Leigh to enter. 

Leigh finds you standing behind your desk, your back to her, arranging a stack of medical records on the shelf.

“Dr. Y/N?” Leigh calls out softly.

You turn around at the sound of her voice, and when she sees you for the first time, Leigh immediately knows.

Danny was telling the truth. It takes everything in her not to break down in front of a stranger her husband fell in love with.

You, however, don’t recognize the woman standing before you, thinking perhaps she's simply one of your past clients. You offer Leigh a contrite smile. “You wanted to see me? Miss…?”

“Leigh Shaw.”

The name doesn’t ring a bell either, but you keep a friendly smile on your face. 

Leigh hesitates for a moment before continuing, her voice sounding fragile. “I need to talk to you about my husband,” she says, studying your clueless face. You're stunning and accomplished—a doctor and a businesswoman. You have a smile that could brighten even the darkest room.

Matt never stood a chance, did he?

“I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand,” you say, hands retreating into the pockets of your white coat.

Leigh takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she knows will be a difficult conversation. 

“I recently found out that my husband was cheating on me,” she says, her green eyes boring into yours. “With you.”

-

After leaving your clinic, Leigh heads straight to Matt’s grave, stomping angrily on the sparse sheet of grass that has begun to sprout from his resting place.

“You're such a fucking liar!” she spits out at the unsusceptible headstone, the heat of fury spreading through her veins and to every molecule in her body. The cold wind lashes through her hair as Leigh drops to her knees, feeling like the entire world is bearing down on her. She reaches out to touch the cold marble of the headstone, still seeking solace from the one who caused her so much hurt.

“Why, Matt?”

She knows there will be no answers—only the cold silence of death.

Leigh feels a surge of anger rise within her once more as she recalls the way you looked at her—the pain in your eyes when she revealed to you that Matt had died. What you two had was real, as real as what she had with him. She had been hoping it was at least just a fling, but alas, she couldn’t be further from her assumptions.

“I can't believe I ever loved you,” Leigh mutters bitterly. She wants to scream, to rage against the injustice of it all. But all she can do is clutch at the grass beneath her, her nails digging into the earth as if trying to anchor herself against the torrent of pain crippling her chest. Tears stream down her face as she finally collapses to the ground, assuming a fetal position, whispering, “I can't believe I still do.”

-

You continue to stare at the space that Leigh previously occupied for a good ten minutes, not moving an inch from where you stood—shocked, hurt, confused. Matt, the man you had been seeing, was dead. And not just dead, but married. Married to someone else, someone named Leigh Shaw, a name so important but he managed to hide from you for weeks. 

Matt had never mentioned a wife, never wore a ring, never hinted at the existence of someone waiting for him at home. If he had, you would never have let him get as close to you like he did. You've always respected boundaries and families—and now you've discovered that unwittingly, you've destroyed one.

Leigh's departure was swift, just as soon as you confessed to having feelings for her husband and how Matt reciprocated those same feelings. Leigh, ruthless in her questioning, demanded to know if you had slept with Matt. You swore you never did, detailing how Matt abruptly ghosted you after your first kiss, leaving you with nothing but unanswered texts and missed calls. 

You wanted so badly for Leigh to believe you, and you think she did. However, none of it mattered in the end. He cheated all the same. He hurt the woman he made a promise to love and stay faithful to. 

Because of you.

You feel sickened by your own naivety; by the way you have allowed yourself to be fooled by his lies. And yet, amidst the anger and self-recrimination, there is a profound sense of loss. Despite the circumstances of your relationship, you had cared for Matt deeply. Maybe even loved him.

But how much of it was real? How much of it was not about him running from his problems with his wife and using you as a distraction? The ease with which he slipped out of your life suddenly fits into place.

While his passing deeply rattled you, it's now largely overshadowed by thoughts of his widow.

Leigh Shaw.

Earlier, even though you said sorry over and over, it felt like it wasn't enough, and you wanted to do more to make her feel better. What stopped you was the realization that you're likely the last person she would want comfort from. A sense of helplessness washes over you as you come to the conclusion that there's nothing you can do to undo the damage that's been done. Matt is gone, and Leigh's world has been shattered in ways you can't even begin to imagine. 

Moving on from Matt is something you know you could do. He wasn’t the first person to break your heart, be it through deceit or demise. But the situation with Leigh is unfamiliar territory.

How do you fix this for her? 

Will she even let you?

-

When Leigh tells Jules about Matt’s infidelity, her sister fixates on the detail that she slept with Danny. It’s not the response Leigh expected. She anticipated shock, and maybe even a bit of outrage on her behalf. But instead, Jules latches onto the one detail that seems to pale in comparison to the enormity of Matt's betrayal.

“But how could you?” Jules asks, her voice incredulous as she chews on a dumpling. “How could you sleep with Danny?”

Faced with her sister's disapproval, Leigh finds herself clamming up. “Are you kidding? I just told you that Matt was cheating on me, and your response is to judge me for hooking up with a single guy while I'm single?” Leigh retorts, hastily wiping her lips with a napkin.

Jules just shakes her head, putting down her chopsticks. “Leigh, I get it. Matt’s betrayal is awful, and you have every right to be angry. But the ‘single guy’ you hooked up with isn't just any guy, and you know it. You don't think it's weird? What would people think? That all this time, sleeping with your husband’s brother has always been an option?”

Leigh's eyes widen in shock, and for a moment, she's speechless. She hadn't—didn't want to entertain the idea of what sleeping with Danny would imply. She was chasing a feeling; any feeling that wasn’t emptiness. And with Danny, she did feel something, even if it was regret and shame. At least it proved she was still capable of feeling at all.

“It… just happened,” Leigh murmurs, rubbing her temples. Hollowness and migraines, she's almost forgotten.

“And? Is it going to be a ‘thing’?” Jules probes, eyebrows raised.

Leigh lifts her gaze, biting back a defensive retort. Instead she simply says, “Absolutely not.”

Jules seems satisfied with that, knocking back the rest of her beer. “Good.”

But as Jules moves on, Leigh’s left stewing in her own thoughts. Telling Jules felt like yelling into a void—exhausting and utterly pointless. Now she’s dreading the thought of breaking the news to Drew. If Jules’ reaction was any indication, she’s in for another round of disappointment. 

Being a young widow already sets her apart, but nothing makes her feel more alone than her family's inability to truly grasp her grief. She guesses she's been feeling alone for years, long before Matt came into her life and subsequently left it.

Jules, catching the tail end of Leigh's distant look, leans in and asks, “So, what's the plan now? You still going to that grief counseling group? Danny's been showing up there, right?”

Leigh's gaze sharpens, a bit taken aback by the sudden shift back to practicalities. “Are you asking about my plans with Danny? Because I already told you, that's over. I'm never seeing him again.”

Jules raises her hands in a placating gesture, mindful that one wrong move could tip Leigh over the edge for good. “Not really, no. I'm asking if you're still keen on processing your grief. Now that it turns out Matt was... well, a snake.”

Jules calling Matt a snake doesn't sit well with Leigh even with his cheating coming to light. But she supposes it's Jules' way of being on her side every once in a while. It's a clumsy attempt, but an attempt nonetheless.

“Yeah, I'm still going,” Leigh finally says, her gaze dropping to her lap before meeting Jules' eyes again. “Not for Danny, not for anyone else, but for me. Turns out, finding out your rotting husband was living a double life does a number on you. Who knew, right?”

Jules cracks a small, rueful smile at that and says, “Who knew indeed.”

Leigh thinks back to the time when she believed she knew Matt inside and out, a belief so deeply ingrained it felt like a cornerstone of her identity as his wife. She prided herself on their connection, convinced that they shared everything—every thought, every fear, every dream. It was a pride rooted in the belief that she knew him better than anyone else could, and he, her, in the same intimate manner.

It was the kind of recognition that’s not only about knowing his favorite color or the way he took his coffee. It’s deeper and more layered. She knew the exact tone of voice he'd use when he was about to apologize, the look in his eyes when he was holding back tears, the subtle shift in his posture when he was trying to be braver than he felt. And she thought he knew her just as intricately—the silent language of her sighs, the meaning behind her quietest smiles, the small, everyday details that they believed only they could understand about each other.

“It's hard, you know? Feeling like you're mourning someone who never really existed,” Leigh mumbles after a long pause.

“Yeah, I can't even imagine,” Jules responds, reaching across the table to give Leigh's hand a brief squeeze. “But I'm here, okay? Even if I don't always get it right.”

Jules, Drew, Danny, her mom—all of them—rarely get it right. It has always been Matt. 

He has always been all she has and needed. 

Even if Leigh wasn't aware that she was probably just getting his scraps.

-

Maybe it was me, Leigh keeps thinking over the next several days. Maybe I pushed him to it.

It doesn’t help that there’s a new member who has also been widowed, and she’s sharing about her late husband who had quite a number of mistresses throughout their eighteen years of marriage.

Leigh listens, her fingers twisted together in her lap, as the woman talks about the signs she missed, the lies she believed.

“I just keep thinking,” the woman's voice breaks, “if I'd been more attentive, more... I don't know, less demanding, maybe things would've been different.”

Maybe it was me, Leigh keeps screaming inside. Maybe I pushed him to it.

-

It took Leigh a long time to return to the apartment she shared with Matt after his passing. 

Mostly, it's because Leigh found it difficult to confront the scattered remnants of him that would remain untouched in his absence. No longer would he be picking up his favorite shirt or completing another page of his crossword puzzle book. Yet, these belongings would remain his, just as Leigh felt she still belonged to him.

So it’s ironic that now, surrounded by the same belongings in her bedroom at her mother’s home, she's being overwhelmed by the impulse to turn them all into ashes. In a sudden frenzy, Leigh grabs a box and begins to throw everything inside. The sound of her ragged breathing fills the room, only matched by the soft thuds of objects landing in the cardboard. 

“Stupid fucking toys!” she shouts, tossing a figurine with more force than necessary.

“And this shirt—what were you thinking?” She grabs a garishly patterned fabric, shaking it at the empty air as if expecting an answer.

Her voice cracks, “You're not even here, and you're driving me crazy!”

As Leigh's wrath burns through the remnants of Matt’s life, her thoughts take a dark turn. The things he owned, the pieces of his life flying from her hand—it all leads her back to the one person who had a piece of him, a piece that was never hers.

The thought of your face, the one that belonged to him too at one point, flashes in her mind, and she's on the edge of losing all control. 

If only Leigh could throw you into the box too.

Finally, she finds the book he gave her for her last birthday, the one she never read, and for a moment, her movements pause. Then, with a cry of anguish, she tosses it in as well. When the box is full, she kicks it. Once, twice, thrice—each kick releasing a burst of pent-up fury until she's gasping for breath.

A knock at the door startles her. It's soft but persistent, making it obvious that whoever is outside has heard the commotion in her room. “Leigh, honey, are you done in there?” Amy's voice seeps through the wood.

Leigh wipes at her eyes. “Almost. I, uh… just give me a minute,” she calls back. She’s not done—not really. But she’ll probably set the house on fire if she doesn’t stop here.

Pushing herself up, Leigh opens the door. She knows the sight she presents isn't pretty—eyes swollen red, nose a mess, and those dark circles. But her mom has seen this look more times than either would care to count.

“You okay?” her mom asks, though the answer's written all over Leigh's face.

Leigh shakes her head, no energy to pretend.

“Want some breakfast?”

Again, “No,” slips out.

Then, “Need a ride to the studio?” her mom tries again.

“Yes,” Leigh finds herself saying, clinging to the offer like a lifeline, a small acknowledgment that life, somehow, must go on.

-

The following day, Leigh looks at the box, then at everything around her. She mutters, “Screw this,” and starts pulling everything out of the box, putting it all back where it came from.

-

Leigh's back at running, not because she loves it, but because the sun insists on poking her awake before the rest of the world stirs. It's an old hobby, dusted off to fill the gaping mornings before her first yoga class. 

It’s easy to do because she realizes she’s good at it. Leigh’s only been at it for just a couple of weeks and already she's feeling fitter, faster. She likes the pain too, not being aware before that there are different kinds of pain, and some of them do feel good—addicting even. 

Mid-thought, her routine jog takes a wild left turn: stranded in the middle of the bustling traffic is a French Bulldog, looking decidedly out of place. Ignoring the honks and the near misses, Leigh bolts across the street. It's a bit of a mad dash, dodging cars that are swerving and braking hard. She scoops him up in her arms and doesn’t stop to think about the close calls. 

It hits her then—she's surprised at her own gutsiness, not even pausing to think that she could've been clipped by a car not paying attention. Maybe all this time spent wrestling with thoughts of death has brought her to a strange peace with it and is no longer scared of it. It's like she's danced with death so much, it's just another shadow she passes by—not something that paralyzes her in place anymore.

Leigh’s not sure if being this fearless is actually a good thing though.

After cooling her heels on the sidewalk for half an hour, with no owner in sight, she shrugs and decides he’s coming home with her.

Jules gives her a scrutinizing look the moment she walks in. “What, you went out for a run and decided to get a dog?”

“Rescue mission,” Leigh shoots back, setting the dog down. “Found him in the middle of Second Street. Seems he’s lost.”

Jules doesn't miss a beat, heading straight for the newcomer. She kneels, her hands gently petting the dog, her eyes softening in a way that Leigh rarely sees. The dog, clearly pleased with the attention, wags its tail vigorously. Her eyes are practically giving her away, so it sounds almost funny when she looks up at Leigh and says, “Just don't get too attached, okay?”

“I won’t, which is why I named him Visitor. It’s temporary,” Leigh says with a smile, looking very proud of the name she came up with.

Jules chuckles, standing up and brushing off her knees. “Nerd. Matt would've gotten a kick out of that.”

The room just freezes at the mention of his name. Talking about Matt is like walking into a glass door you didn't see.

Jules tries to backpedal, “Hey, sorry, I—” But Leigh's quick to brush it off with a shrug. 

“Don't worry about it. Let's just figure out where Visitor here belongs, okay?”

As they refocus on Visitor, Jules can't help but notice the way the dog favors one leg as he trots over to sit snugly between Leigh's legs, looking up at her with those big, trusting eyes. “Looks like he's got a bit of a limp,” Jules points out.

Leigh frowns and leans down to get a closer look, her fingers gently probing around Visitor's leg until she finds a tender spot. The moment she applies a little pressure, Visitor yelps, pulling away sharply and retreating a few steps.

Jules winces at the reaction. “Yeah, that's not good. Maybe we should take him to a vet?”

Leigh can barely hold back a grimace as her brain immediately links you to the situation.

“What's wrong?” Jules notices the sudden shift in Leigh’s mood. “There's St. Mary's Animal Clinic nearby. I heard they're great.”

That's your clinic. Leigh's throat tightens at the thought, the memories of her visit flooding back. “Are there others around here?”

Jules looks puzzled at the question. “I mean, I can look it up, but what's wrong with St. Mary's?”

Leigh considers whether she should tell Jules about meeting you. Part of her really knows it’s unfair to dislike you, especially if you genuinely didn't know Matt was married. But she knows Jules too well—tell her, and it'll turn into a whole thing. Leigh's not sure she's up for that drama.

Despite her reservations, Leigh decides to bite the bullet, her curiosity getting the better of her. Besides, if she can’t be brave enough to talk about this in her counseling group, she should probably at least tell Jules.

“Actually, Jules,” Leigh begins, “St. Mary's Animal Clinic is where... where she works.”

Jules's eyes widen in shock, her hand flying to her mouth. “Wait, you mean... you mean her, as in…?” she stammers, disbelief written all over her face.

“Yup,” Leigh confirms, smacking her lips forcefully. 

“Oh my god—that bitch,” Jules spits out, her voice dripping with disdain before Leigh can even brace for impact.

“She didn’t know Matt’s married,” Leigh clarifies quickly.

“And you bought that?”

“I had a feeling she was telling the truth. Besides, I can’t imagine Matt being that brazen to pursue someone while married. He can be a little self-righteous sometimes,” Leigh says, only half-sure of her statement. Recently, she has to remind herself that maybe she never really knew him at all.

Then, an idea sparks in Jules's mind. “You know what?” she says, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Maybe this is a good opportunity. After all, she owes you one, right? Maybe she'll treat Visitor for free, to make up for being... well, you know.”

Leigh rubs her nose, skeptical of the idea. “I don't know, Jules. I don't want to impose…”

Jules leans in, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “I mean, if she's the reason you're hurting, maybe she should make it right?”

She isn't hurting because of you, not directly. That's why Jules’ suggestion hangs in the air, unappealing. Leigh remembers the pity in your eyes from that morning, and she doesn't want it. She doesn't want anything from you at all. Her resolve instantly hardens like ice. 

“No,” Leigh finally says. “I don't want her charity. I'll pay for Visitor's bills myself. And I'll keep the receipts for when his real owners show up.” It's a decision that feels surprisingly empowering, a small reclaiming of control in a world that's felt off-kilter for too long.

Jules merely sighs; she knows better than to push Leigh when her mind’s made up. 

“Have it your way.”

-

Leigh brings Visitor to St. Mary’s the very next day.

There's a certain set to her jaw, a readiness for something less than pleasant. She doesn’t need to go through reception this time because she spots you right away, escorting a client to the door, cradling their puppy in your arms. Seeing you with a pet makes Leigh realize why you’ve chosen this profession. You fit right in among the animals, she muses bitterly.

It's with a sense of satisfaction that she watches your smile dissipate as soon as your eyes land on hers. 

She strides confidently towards you, dog in arms, forcing you to quickly hand off the puppy back to its owner. Yet, you recover with a swiftness that's begrudgingly admirable as you give her a look that’s equal parts professional and friendly—like you were actually looking forward to seeing her again.

“Good morning, Leigh. How can I help you?”

Without a word, Leigh extends the dog she’s carrying towards you, a silent transfer of trust, or perhaps, necessity. You gesture towards the consultation room, an invitation she accepts with a terse nod, following you into the space where you effortlessly shift into doctor mode.

As you begin to charm her dog, she can't help but narrow her eyes. It irks her, watching Visitor take to you instantly, as if you were old friends. “What's his name?” you ask, looking up at Leigh.

“Visitor.”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the name, just in time for your irises to capture the light seeping through the office blinds. They glow a hazel-brown, disarmingly so. Leigh forces herself to focus back on the purpose of her visit. 

Leigh continues, “He’s limping on his left hind leg. I’d appreciate it if you can prescribe him something. I'll try not to take up too much of your time.”

Ignoring the undercurrent of Leigh's insinuation, your attention remains undividedly on Visitor. The well-being of the dog before you eclipses any personal sentiments, as it always does. 

“I'm sorry, but before we can consider any medication, I need to examine him thoroughly. It's possible he might require some lab tests to rule out anything serious,” you tell her. Despite sounding apologetic, Leigh interprets it as your polite way of telling her to fuck off and let you do your job.

As you palpate the dog's leg carefully, you begin your routine questions. “Can you tell me his birthday? Any vaccination history?”

They’re basic, but they seem to catch Leigh off guard anyway. “He’s not mine. I found him on the street yesterday,” she reveals with a reluctant sigh.

The news prompts a more detailed response from you. 

“I see. In that case, we should definitely line up some tests for Visitor. We need to ensure he doesn't have distemper or any other airborne virus that could be affecting his mobility,” you suggest, already mentally cataloging the necessary procedures.

You start detailing the tests you intend to perform, explaining their purposes and associated costs. Leigh is clearly deluged by it all and you decide to take pity on the poor woman by adding that it’s still up to her which tests to proceed with, if any at all.

“Your call, Leigh,” you tell her.

Leigh can't shake off the vibe that you're throwing a gauntlet down in front of her. It's like her inner competitor wakes up, refusing to back down. “Do all of them,” she declares, tipping her chin up towards you. “Whatever you think is best.”

“That’s a good decision. We’ll take care of it right away,” you say, already picking up the phone to call the reception for assistance. 

Leigh's still trying to get a read on you. Was her arm twisted into this choice, or did you genuinely have Visitor's best interest at heart? She's not about to hand out trust like free samples, especially when she could end up misjudging you. It’s a tricky spot, especially because she’s clearly been wrong before.

-

The tests take their time, roughly an hour, after which Leigh finds herself pacing the lobby. An additional quarter-hour trickles by before the receptionist finally calls her back into the consultation room.

“Good news,” you start, making sure to catch her eye. She meets your look briefly before her attention shifts to Visitor. “It's only a sprain. The X-ray revealed no breaks or other issues. But,” you pause, checking to see if she's still fully engaged, “his blood tests indicated a low platelet count and evidence of an infection.”

Leigh listens intently, nodding along.

You explain what this means in a clear, concise manner, avoiding medical jargon as much as possible. “It's something we can manage with medication. I'll prescribe some antibiotics for the infection and pain medication to help with his discomfort. It's important that he completes the course of antibiotics to clear the infection completely.”

You watch Leigh closely, gauging her reaction and ready to answer any questions she might have. “We'll need to keep an eye on his platelet count, so I'd like to schedule a follow-up visit next week. This will also give us a chance to check how his leg is healing.”

“Will he be okay?” she asks without looking up from Visitor, busy scratching behind his ears.

“He'll be just fine,” you reassure her, adding, “Any questions about what we discussed?”

Leigh stays silent and you take it as your cue that she doesn’t have any thoughts on the matter. As she wraps up without saying much more, you realize it's time to wrap things up too. But there's something niggling at you, something that's been on your mind since the last time she was here. You're about to let her go, but then, out of nowhere, you feel this urge to clear the air about that whole mess with Matt. 

“So, uhm, about the other week when you…” you trail off, suddenly feeling like you're balancing on a tightrope without a net. You’re not so easily spooked by confrontations, but Leigh makes you nervous in a way you can’t explain. “I guess I just wanted to say sorry… for your loss, and for—”

“Does he really need to take pain medication for seven days?” Leigh cuts you off suddenly. It’s sharp enough for you to shut your mouth and abandon your attempt to get personal.

“Yes, the full course is important to ensure he's comfortable and that the inflammation goes down properly. It's just as crucial as the antibiotics for his recovery…”

Leigh nods, carefully scooping Visitor into her arms, preparing to leave.

You try one last time. “Leigh, I really am sorry–”

“I’ll see you next week, Dr. Y/L/N,” she says dismissively and then she’s gone.

[maximotts]

OMG “i’ll kiss you if you want me to” and “i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do” mixed together with leigh… 👀 only if you want, obv :) <3!!

This was such a fun Leigh prompt!! I combined it with another one I got for her that I thought fit well so this request is a little long, but I hope y'all like it!!

❛ i’ll kiss you if you want me to. ❜ / ❛ i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do. ❜ / ❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜ + Leigh Shaw; smut, angst that gets resolved, fluff at the end because I'm a soft bitch

1.3K words

f. scott fitzgerald prompts

Leigh squirmed under you, her back arching off the bed as you mouthed over her breasts messily. As soon as you'd undone her bra, you had a one track mind, kissing and licking over every inch of smooth skin her open flannel allowed. Impatient was an understatement with how you were marking her up, savoring how her sounds got louder the more intense you are. “Fuck, Leigh, you’re beautiful.” 

Eventually your hand slid into the front of her gym shorts, fingers teasing over where you found a damp patch of cotton. “On your way to drenching yourself already and I’ve barely touched you… Were you waiting that long for this?”

From her soft gasp, you assumed no one had talked to her like this before, the quick shake of her head confirming. The two of you had fallen into bed together multiple times, but lately things had taken a turn. Your casual dates had turned more romantic, signing your texts off with hearts and sweet goodnight messages. All of this was new for Leigh again; she’d told you all about her past relationships and it warmed her heart how understanding you’d been, never rushing her or pressing for too much. Instead you moved forward subtly, with actions rather than words, but still you always wanted her to be upfront with you. 

Part of the new actions was sex and things or the sort. She hadn’t had much experience past her previous husband; being with women was new and fun, especially with how you taught her. Leigh loved exploring new things with you, there was never a time where you shamed her for her curiosities and desires, even when you found that she liked to be teased about them. “Go on, tell me how much you wanted this.” 

“I…” Nimble fingers bypassed her underwear, rubbing over her folds while she tried to keep her composure. “I called you over just for this.” Leigh was shocked by her own confession, eyes wide as she waited for you to mock her. But it never came. Instead your lips traveled to her nipple, sucking as soon as your fingertips hit her clit and leaving her gasping for air. “Oh, please… just like that…” 

You nodded, laving over the peaked bud as your thumb moved to roll circles at the same time. It was addicting, playing her body just to watch her twist and turn and beg for you, sinking two fingers past her entrance was almost as rewarding as fucking yourself. “God, I love you.” 

“W-What?” Three simple words had her head snapping up, eyes fully focused on your now frozen form. She wasn’t prepared to hear that, had really never bargained for a romantic utterance of that phrase again for the rest of her life. Leigh didn’t hate it, she just hadn’t… thought much of it. But her reaction left you pulling away and the instant she saw hurt twist your features, she regretted selfishly leaving you hanging. “I’m not.. mad. I didn’t ask you to stop.”

“Not mad, you just don’t feel the same.” You tried to shake it off with a chuckle, but you couldn’t hide the hurt you felt. You hadn’t been saying it just to say it… You loved her. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say it, or maybe it was just you. Maybe she only saw you as something temporary— 

“Please, don’t. Don’t do that.” Leigh pulled you back until you were hovering over her, forced to look down at pleading green eyes. It was hard to explain how she simply didn’t expect it; she felt those feelings, but had instinctively shoved them away. “I love you too, I just…”

“Just what, Leigh? You don’t have to force yourself to say it back. That’s so much worse.” You wanted to believe her, Leigh had never lied to you before; one of the things you loved about her was how honest she was with her feelings. Maybe it made her unlikeable to some, but you adored her for it. But currently, right now, she was hard to accept. 

Leigh sighed, raising her hands just to cradle your face. She could feel you pulling away mentally, your internal spiral threatening to draw you away from her for who knows how long. No matter what her insecurities, Leigh couldn’t lose you, not over her own shortcomings. “I love you. Really, I do, but I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 

She was more out of practice with love than she was sex. True intimacy meant having more to be responsible for, much more to lose if anything went wrong. The possibility of waking up with you not in her life any more scared her more every day, having grown to look forward to your goofy selfies and tight hugs; Leigh wasn’t stupid, she knew what that meant. “I don’t think I’m good at being loved, or loving people well. Sometimes I ask for too much or I’m selfish and I don’t, I can’t hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.” You leaned down just enough to nose at her chin, just trying to remind yourself that she was real, she wasn’t rejecting you, and this was just another conversation you needed to have. “I can’t think of a time where you ever felt me feel uncared for, even on your worst days. Give yourself more credit.” She wound her arms around your waist, pulling you until you had to lay on her; all she needed was to feel your weight grounding her. Sometimes Leigh needed a physical anchor during serious discussions, good or bad, and you were always happy to provide. “Tell me how you need to be loved and I swear I’ll do everything to never make you think loving you could ever be a burden.”

You flipped the two of you so she could lay on your chest; Leigh yelped with the sudden change, but she understood. Just like she needed to feel grounded, you liked being able to hold her whenever you were at risk of spiraling too deep into your own brain. As soon as Leigh got her bearings, she clung to you like a koala, trying to hold you in place just in case you decided you’d rather leave. As much as she was known for expressing how she felt, this was completely different, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t had a chance to prepare for. The only bit she could offer was small, just a minor thing where, if denied, she could force herself to smile through it. “I like kisses… I feel like we don’t kiss enough.”

It was true, you had a thing about kisses. To you, they were more intimate than most acts and while you’d often give her a quick peck on the cheek goodbye, it was granted her a full kiss— those you held close to your heart. But you loved her, she loved you.. that came with trusting her to value what those kisses meant to you. “I’ll kiss you if you want me to.”

Leigh smiled, nodding eagerly, “I really want you to kiss me, right now.” Green eyes stared down at you, hoping she hadn’t missed her chance from earlier. She couldn’t remember the last time she wanted something so simple so badly, but right now it was important. Every day you proved you loved her and today you'd said it; it was her turn to show it back now. “I love you. Please kiss me.”

She wasn’t an easy girl to crack, but you didn’t love her because she was easy. You loved her because she was human, missteps, fears, and all. Closing the distance was easy, just a few inches separating you, and when you kissed Leigh now, it felt like the first time you ever did. You kissed to convey emotions and thankfully, you had so many for the woman laying on you. “You’ve got an awfully kissable mouth.” 

[gingiesworld]

At My Worst

Chapter One

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Reader is intersex.

Taglist: @username23345

Leigh Shaw X Fem Reader

After Matt had died, I never truly thought that I would be happy again. Even when I had tried to move on with Danny. Yes, he is my dead husband's brother. Even with Danny I was never free from the grief. The hold Matt had over me even after learning what I did about him and a colleague. So it ruined everything between Danny and I so I cut ties with him. Hoping it would help me find my solace in a dark place. And I did, I found her unexpectedly.

Leigh was just trying to do her usual things after she had cut every tie that she had with her dead husband and his brother. Wanting to move on with her life, wanting to feel free. That was when she bumped into Y/N unexpectedly.

"Hi, are you ok?" She asked Leigh as she steadied her on her feet.

"I'm ok." Leigh nodded as she smiled stiffly.

"Are you sure?" She questioned as Leigh nodded unsurely. "Do you want a drink and maybe you can tell me a little about that sad life you have."

"How do you know it's sad?" Leigh challenged as Y/N smirked.

"Just by looking in your eyes. You smile tells people you're ok but your eyes tell another story." She told her. "I'm Y/N."

"Leigh." She took Y/N's hand and shook it.

"So, how about that drink?" Y/N questioned as Leigh nodded. The two making their way to the bar. "So what are you having?"

"A martini please." She requested as Y/N ordered a beer.

"So, why do you look like the saddest person here?" Y/N questioned as she took a sip of her beer.

"How can you tell I'm sad?" Leigh smirked as Y/N chuckled.

"Because you look sadder than I feel." Y/N smiled as Leigh sighed.

"I lost my husband a couple of years ago." Leigh spoke honestly. "I uh recently also cut ties with his brother who I had a sexual relationship with."

"Wow." Y/N whispered as Leigh chuckled.

"I know. It's messed up." She waved off as Y/N shook their head.

"No, it was just a lot to digest." Y/N told her. "We all have our different ways of grieving. You tried to move on and it just didn't work out."

"You sound like you know." Leigh chuckled as Y/N nodded.

"Well, I never lost a wife but I lost my family." She stated as Leigh gave her look of sadness. "It was about three years ago, I was on tour and we were helping the villagers with supplies and we were ambushed. None of us expected it but only a couple of us survived the ambush."

"I'm sorry." Leigh whispered as Y/N shook her head.

"It's ok." She smiled. "I was honorably discharged and now I am working as a prison guard."

"Seriously?" She questioned as Y/N nodded.

"Yeah, it's the kind of job I'm used to." Y/N shrugged as Leigh nodded. "But what I'm trying to say is that you won't be sad forever Leigh." Y/N stood up and paid for their drinks before they started to leave. Leigh jumping to her feet and following them.

"Y/N, can I see you again?" She asked with a nose scrunch.

"I would love that." Y/N smiled before writing down their number on a piece of paper from the pad in their pocket. "Text me when you get home safe." With that Y/N had left a smiling Leigh and for the first time she felt like she was genuinely happy. Like meeting Y/N was meant to be.

And so the two had conversed a lot through text a lot. Amy even had suspicions as she would see Leigh smile brightly as she typed away on her phone.

"Who have you been texting?" She questioned her daughter. "You have been smiling at your phone for over a week."

"Y/N." Leigh stated as she shrugged.

"Who is this Y/N?" Jules questioned as she joined in the conversation.

"We met last week at the bar. She bought me a drink and we just started talking." Leigh told them.

"Do you like her?" Amy questioned as Leigh laughed. "There's nothing wrong with it if you do Leigh. You deserve to be happy and if this Y/N makes you happy, go for it."

"Yeah." Leigh smiled. "Even just by text she makes everything not feel as dark anymore. I don't want to cry or scream all the time anymore."

"You're moving on." Jules smiled softly as Leigh nodded.

"I am moving on." Leigh told them both before she decided to make a bold move and ask Y/N out on their days off. "I'm going to start being the source of my own happiness."

"That's awesome." Amy smiled as she hugged Leigh. Although they all would miss Matt dearly since he was a part of their family for so many years, Leigh deserved to live a happy life out of the shadow of grief.

So she bit the bullet, asked Y/N out to go to the same bar they had met. Leigh was nervous as she stood at the bar, wearing a dark green dress as she nursed a martini, hoping to calm her nerves.

"Hey pretty lady." She heard someone speak beside her.

"I am waiting on someone." Leigh stated bluntly without sparing a glance.

"I know." Y/N smirked. "Hi." Leigh smacked her arm as Y/N just laughed at her. "But seriously, you look beautiful Leigh."

"Thank you." Leigh blushed as she ordered another drink and a beer for Y/N.

"So, you said you wanted to talk." Y/N smiled as she took a sip of her beer.

"I think I like you." Leigh blurted out. "Like a lot because I haven't this light in a very limg time and you only live once right."

"Leigh." Y/N started softly as Leigh sighed shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." She downed her drink. "I just that we may be had something special and thought I would take a leap but you don't feel the same. I get it Y/N. See you around." With that Leigh started to walk away as Y/N paid for their drinks before chasing after Leigh.

"You didn't let me finish Leigh." Y/N called after her as Leigh didn't stop running from her. Y/N reached for Leigh's wrist and turned her around to face her. Lips meeting in an unexpected kiss under the moonlight as cars passed by. Not caring about the people passing by. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment we met Leigh." Y/N confessed as their foreheads rested against one another. "It's just not easy for me to show my feelings since I have been closed off for so long from everyone. Until you." Y/N gazed into her green orbs. "You make me want to be a better person than I ever was."

"You're a war hero." Leigh stated as Y/N shook her head.

"I'm barely a hero Leigh, but if you would let me, I can be your hero." Y/N spoke as Leigh chuckled. "I know. I'm a cheesy clichè."

"Yeah you are." Leigh smiled as she calmed down. "But I would love nothing more." Y/N leaned in and kissed her once more, making a silent promise to make her happy for as long as they could.

[limarieb]

☾main masterlist☽

*updated as of April 24, 2024

Welcome to my blog! Some of you may know me from ao3 (limarieee) or from Wattpad (mackiebeth); however, I figured I should expand my works to Tumblr. Here, you will be able to access all of my available works as they are released on the platform.

Click here to visit the b-side of limarieb [18+ only].

FAQ

Who even am I? That is a very good question! My name is Beth, and I am a student from the US. Given my age (21), I advise that minors tread carefully around my content. Though I tend to stay around the 13+ range of maturity with my writing, I will state which posts are strictly NSFW (or otherwise claimed to be "minors DNI"). Purposeful avoidance of this rule will result in a ban from my blog. Otherwise, please feel free to reach out on any platform — I love to talk to everyone!

Who do I write for? I mainly write for Wanda Maximoff, but I also write for Natasha Romanoff and other Elizabeth Olsen characters. Some other characters in non-MCU fandoms I dabble with include Beca and Chloe (Pitch Perfect).

Can I request a fic? Of course! As long as my requests are open, you can send a request a fic with the aforementioned characters through this link, or down below.

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY: OPEN

MARVEL (MCU)

Wanda Maximoff

[click here for my wanda maximoff masterlist.]

Natasha Romanoff

Nothing to see here yet!

Elizabeth Olsen

high in your arms (*coming soon*)

lonely enough to let you treat me like this (*coming soon*)

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

One-shots

Series

"angels like you" masterlist → hurt/comfort & fluff

Summary: Looking forward to this moment for years, Wanda Maximoff had many feelings and anticipations regarding her transition to university: nervous, yet excited. Despite spending half of her adolescence dreaming about her time at university, she truly had no idea how it would go; however, never in her many dreams would she encounter somebody like Natasha Romanoff, her roommate, for the next year. [college roommate!au]

PITCH PERFECT

Beca Mitchell x Chloe Beale

Nothing to see here yet!

[wandabear]

Hello there!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Welcome home. First: thank you so much for reading me, means a lot.  Here you will find fics (series and oneshots) that I usually write about Elizabeth Olsen's characters and Natasha Romanoff. Gifs are mine. If you’re using them, give the cred. You can't copy or translate my works without my permission. Please, be kind. I don't write male cis het characters, minors dni.

If you like my works and wanna invite me a coffee here, that would be amazing!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda Maximoff ᱬ ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha Romanoff ⧗

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh Shaw

ㅤㅤㅤ Jane Banner

ㅤㅤㅤ Gerri Fields ㅤㅤㅤ Martha (Martha Marcy May Marlene)

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ✨ Thank you! ✨

[yelenasdiary]

October Special Information

Okays, so after some thinking, I have decided to give something for everybody to read. So, I'm calling this 'October Special' which will include Kinktober, Flufftober & Darktober!

Below the cut, you'll find everything you need to know before sending me a request. Please read through this carefully, I know it's a long post with a fair bit of information but I'm trying to make this go as smoothly as possible for myself as the writer x.

As always, my blog is 18+ ONLY! Men & Minors, please DNI!

Requests -

~ The deadline to have requests sent is September 23rd (AEST). For anybody outside Australia, this would be September 22nd.

~ Sending a request doesn’t guarantee it will be written, I may get an overwhelming amount of requests for this & if that happens, I simply cannot write them all.

~ When sending a request, please state if you want Reader to be fem or GN! If you want Reader to have a penis in the fic, please mention if you want them to be Fem, GN or AFAB/AMAB.

Kinktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Kinktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

Here is a list of what I am comfortable with writing & what I am not comfortable writing. Please read these carefully, if you send a request that I am not comfortable with, I will delete it without an explanation.

Comfortable With: Daddy/Mommy kinks, Con Non Con, Character x Character, Character x Reader, Breeding Kink, Voyeurism, Desperation, Toys, Bondage, Double Penetration, Lactation Kink, Somnophilia, Exhibitionism. FAB! Reader with a penis and/or Character with a penis.

Not Comfortable With: Scat, Incest, Pedophilia, Character x Male Reader, Body Shaming, R*pe, Racism, Age Regression in a sexual setting.

I do not write smut for celebrity x reader. I only write smut for female fictional characters x reader.

Flufftober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Flufftober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

~I will write fluff for platonic, age regressed reader and family based fics! So when requesting, please state if the relationship within your idea is romantic, platonic, age regressed reader or family based (meaning Character x Sibling! Reader or Character x Daughter! Reader).

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Darktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Darktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

What I'm Comfortable With Writing: Dark Angst such as, gore, murder, kidnapping, mentions of SA, drugs, blood, childhood trauma, PTSD topics etc.

What I'm Not Comfortable With Writing: Details of r*pe. Like I mentioned above, I am fine with mentions but not detailing the event. Detailed racism, I’m okay with mentions such as “So and so was racist” & I will not write body shaming content in detail.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Extra Details -

~ I will post a fic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for this special, giving you all a total of 13 fics. Again, for all those outside Australia, this will be every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

~ All fics will be posted at 5PM AEST. If for any reason I will be late posting, I'll make a post about it.

~ I will not have a seperate taglist for this, if you want to be tagged for any of my work, please leave a comment on THIS POST

Who I Write For -

If somebody isn’t listed here, it doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t write for them. Please remember that I DO NOT write smut for Celebrity x Reader. Smut is only for Fictional Character x Reader.

Yelena Belova (Marvel)

Wanda Maximoff // The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

Kate Bishop (Marvel)

Agatha Harkness (Marvel)

Melina Vostokoff (Marvel)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Charlie Ross (The Little Drummer Girl)

Kelly Foster (We Brought a Zoo)

Jane Banner (Wind River)

Leigh Shaw (Sorry For You Loss)

Alice Chambers (Don’t Worry Darling)

Taylor Sloane (Ingrid Goes West)

Any Variant Character on THIS LIST

Florence Pugh

Elizabeth Olsen

Scarlett Johansson

+ More

With that, I can't wait to give you all something for all to read and enjoy! I'm excited to see what you guys come up with! If you have any further questions, concerns or if you're confused on anything, please don't hesitate to send me a message or ask.

[natsarrownecklacx]

Commission Information

Why Commission Me For My Work?

➳ When commissioning me for a fic it becomes my top priority for writing, alone with any other commissioned fics. 

➳ I will spend more time on commissions making sure the quality is worth commission while also, by absolute magic I swear, getting it to you faster than regular requests. 

➳ It would also help out your local Amatur Author, aka me, while I try to save for college.

Types Of Commissions I’ll Be Doing:

➳ Character x Reader Fics.

➳ Character x Character Fics.

➳ “Open When” Type Fics.

➳ Continuation of any series or one shots I've already written for.

➳ The “Open When” fics are going to be letters from a character of your choice to you on a specific time that you request. 

➳ Examples of the “Open When” fics: 

   ➳ From Natasha, open when you can’t sleep.

   ➳ From Wanda, open when you feel sick.

   ➳ From Kate, open when you need motivation.

Prices For Commissions:

➳ I chose these prices for my commissions because I want them to be affordable for everyone who may want them, while also being able to benefit from them. 

➳ Prices for basic fics: 

     ➳ 100 - 900 words - 3 euro

     ➳ 1,000 words - 5 euro

     ➳ 1,500 words - 7 euro

     ➳ 2,000 words - 10 euro

     ➳ 2,500 words - 12 euro

     ➳ 3,000 words - 15 euro 

     ➳ 3,500 words - 20 euro 

➳ Anything over 3,500 words will have to be discussed privately depending on the length of the fic requested.

➳ When choosing the length of the fic you want please consider the amount of specific details you want in the fic, a lot of specifics may need a longer fic, though I will do my best to fit all requested details into requested fic length regardless of word count. 

➳ Prices for “Open When” fics: 

➳  1,000 words - 2 euro

➳ 2,000 words - 5 euro

➳ Anything over 2,000 words can be discussed privately.

➳ The prices on these fics are different to regular fics as I feel they would be requested mostly for comfort / times when you need to hear from your comfort character and I want that to be available for anyone who would need / want it. 

➳ These fics are not restricted to purely comfort letters from a character of your choice.

➳ If personal details are wanted in the fic, Eg. Favorite food, drink, movie, song, animal ect. or any other details please add that into the request. 

Who I Write For: 

➳ Romantically: 

   ➳ Natasha Romanoff

   ➳ Wanda Maximoff

   ➳ Carol Danvers

   ➳ Kate Bishop 

   ➳ Agatha Harkness

   ➳ Yelena Belova

   ➳ Jane Banner 

   ➳ Delilah Green 

   ➳ Leigh Shaw 

   ➳ The Thirteenth Doctor 

   ➳ Missy 

   ➳ I would also write for variants of the characters listed above Eg Vampire Natasha or Venom Wanda. If you want a variant of the characters listed above just add it to your commission request and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfy writing for that specific variant.

   ➳ If there are any characters not on the list that you would like to commission a fic for send me an anon or message me and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfortable writing for them. 

   ➳ I only write for female or non binary characters romantically. I do not and will not write romantic fics with male characters.

➳ Platonically: 

   ➳ All of the characters listed above in the “romantically” section.

   ➳ Tony Stark

   ➳ Clint Barton

   ➳ Peter Parker

   ➳ Shuri

   ➳ Okoye

   ➳ Bucky Barnes

   ➳ Kamala Khan

   ➳ Rocket

   ➳ Venom

   ➳ Miles Morales

   ➳ Jeff the land shark  

➳Thor 

   ➳ If there are any characters not on the list that you would like to commission a fic for send me an anon or message me and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfortable writing for them. 

   ➳ I would also write for variants of the characters listed above Eg Vampire Natasha or Venom Wanda. If you want a variant of the characters listed above just add it to your commission request and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfy writing for that specific variant.

➳ Reader:

   ➳ Female Reader

   ➳ Gender Neutral / Non Binary Reader

   ➳ I will not write for male reader. 

What I Will Write For: 

➳ Fluff

➳ Smut 

➳ Hurt / Comfort

➳ Angst

➳ For Smut:

   ➳ Mommy Kink

   ➳ Daddy Kink

   ➳ Edging 

   ➳ Thigh Riding 

   ➳ Praise Kink

   ➳ Degrading Kink

   ➳ Orgasm Denial

   ➳ Overstimulation 

➳ Any questions don’t be afraid to ask me, I’m nice I swear :) 

➳ If there is a kink not on the list that you want to commission a fic on don’t be afraid to ask but please check what I won’t write for first to make sure its not there. 

What I Won't Write For: 

➳ Pedophilia.

➳ Incest.

➳ Necrophilia.

➳ Sexual Abuse.

➳ Graphic Violence.

➳ Male Character x Reader.

➳  If you want to commission a fic on something I haven’t listed in either the will write for or won’t write for section don’t be afraid to ask me and I’ll let you know if I’m comfortable writing for whatever it is :)

How To Commission Me:

➳ Message me directly, I’m nice I promise. That way we can talk about the length of the fic you want, what character / characters you want in the fic, the main storyline / what main points you want in the fic. 

➳ Commissions can be made through my buy me a coffee which I have linked in my navigation post.

➳ When you message me we can also talk about a realistic timeline for when you’ll get the fic.

➳ If you have any questions you want answered before making an official request my asks are always open. 

➳ Absolutely no one has permission to repost my work and claim it as their own, whether they have commissions me for the work or not. 

[taschamonnii]

Imagine This  - Sink

You x Leigh Shaw (Sorry For Your Loss - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Anonymous asked:

TW!

Would you be able to write a Leigh Shaw x reader where the reader struggles to eat and Leigh comforts them?

It's totally fine if that goes too far and you feel uncomfortable writing this

You are married to Leigh Shaw and life has been pretty good but everyone has bad days luckily you are not alone and Leigh is the most supportive caring wife.  

TW: Eating Disorder, Struggling to eat, mental illness, depression, anxiety

Here is the title song: Suffocate by James Quick & Lauren Sanderson

Specifically “Can I justify the days I barely eat, If I starve until my cheeks can’t help but sink? How deep can I go ‘till it’s too deep? If you hear me start to choke, please reach for me.”

Read On Ao3

AN: I loved writing this thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it. I tried not to make it too triggering to folks who struggle to eat but please read with your own mental health in mind.

Word Count: 3,028

Imagine This:

The day seemed to really drag on. There was nothing particularly good or bad about the day but you just felt off. Your motivation was lacking and you just felt low. Sadness over nothing, in particular, was seeping into your bones. You figured maybe it was hormones and tried to keep up your routines. You pushed through the day looking forward to dinner time. Leigh has been out of town all week at a writing thing with Drew but everyday she has face-timed you for dinner and you eat together and talk about the things you usually would if she was home. You miss her like crazy but she is trying to get her book published and you couldn’t be more proud. 

Married life with Leigh has been the best part of your life. You met her at a grief group two years ago and she changed your life. When your wife died in a terrible car accident four years ago you were certain that you would never love again and for sure no one could ever love you but Leigh was different. Your wife had been your high school sweetheart and was one of the only people who could handle your depression, anxiety, and your eating disorder. You are alive today because of your wife. When she died a part of you died with her you fell off the recovery wagon and lost a lot of weight really fast. Your sister-in-law was the only reason you managed to pick yourself back up enough to join a grief group and start your healthy relationship with food again. That is when you met Leigh. 

Leigh was not like the rest of the grief group; she was real and honest and raw. You quickly became friends with her and the only other widow who was your age, Becca. You became really close with Leigh and it seemed like overnight you went from friends to more and something about it just made sense. 

You never thought you would love again let alone marry again. Now you are happily married and though both you and Leigh sometimes struggle you are both there for each other and understand what the other is going through. Your relationship with food and exercise has never been better thanks to Leigh and she has never been so in touch with her own feelings. You both agreed not to think too hard about it all neither one of you was religious so it is easier to think that maybe life was just giving you both a break since you have both been dealt some shit cards. 

You are going through emails at work when your cell rings with Leigh’s ringtone. “Hello, beautiful. What’s up?” 

“Hi love, I’m at lunch and well I thought I’d call you while I can since I have to cancel our dinner call tonight.”

“What why?”

“Drew and I are having dinner with a publisher. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that is great! No, don't apologize, Leigh, I'm excited for you! I know how long of a journey writing this book has been and I just know people are going to love it.”

“Thanks, y/n. I miss you. Ugh, I have to go, fingers crossed, this publisher wants it so I can come home tomorrow. I love you y/n!”

“I am sure they will buy it! I miss you too, be safe. I love you too. Oh and text me when you can!”

“I will! Love you, bye!”

“Love you, bye!”

You hung up and let out a heavy sigh. You were happy for Leigh but you also missed her. The rest of the day dragged on. By the time you get home, you are exhausted. The motivation to cook yourself dinner and actually eat it was beyond lacking. You wanted to go to bed, you wanted to cry and you were not entirely sure why. Instead, you forced yourself to stick to your routines. You completed a workout cleaned up around the house in hopes that Leigh would be home tomorrow. You got into comfy clothes and then found yourself repeatedly opening the fridge and cabinets trying to decide what to make yourself for dinner. 

The more you open the fridge and think about what you could eat the more the tears begin to well up in your eyes. You know you should be hungry but you aren’t. You quickly turn on your music to try and distract your mind but shuffle has decided to instead aid your mental breakdown as the familiar sad song sink begins to play and you feel the tears escape your eyes. 

The second the first teardrop falls from your cheek you take a shaky breath. You are exhausted and angry that you are struggling right now with food when it has been so long since you had an episode. You curse to yourself “I hate this I hate you why do I have to struggle with eating it’s just food! It’s just fucking food!”

The tears are now rolling down your cheeks faster than you can blink them away. Soft sobs leave your lips as you decide to just make mac n cheese because you already know you won't be able to chew for a long time without wanting to spit the food out. You get all the things you need out through your blurry teary eyes. The tears just won't stop and you are over trying to stop them. You get the stupid food done and sit down on the couch and turn on an old sitcom hoping it would bring you comfort and make eating easier. It doesn’t. Your mind races and all the things that make eating difficult for you swirl in your mind louder than the show. You take a bite of the food and quickly chew it forcing yourself to swallow. More tears fall from your eyes as a loud sob leaves you. 

You are sobbing so loudly that you don’t hear the front door open and the familiar jingle of keys. You are lost in your mind battling the voices that are telling you to throw the food away. You are crying so hard that it takes a full 2 minutes to hear your own name coming from the person that is wrapped around you. Once your brain catches up to your body and you realize you are being held by Leigh you sink into the embrace. 

“Leigh?” 

You question through a sob.

“Yes y/n. I’m here. Can you please take deep breaths with me?”

You nod your head in agreement and try to focus on the feeling of Leigh breathing while holding you tight to her chest. You realize then that the bowl of food is no longer in your hands and you grab at Leigh’s shirt and instantly feel a sense of relief fill you. You sighed out in relief as your body finally calmed down. You moved to face Leigh but kept yourself in her embrace. “I’m sorry Leigh.”

“Hey, no we don’t apologize and feel bad when we are struggling, we talk through it. What happened?”

“That’s just it. I am not sure. After you called the day just became exhausting but I was good. When I came home I stuck to the routine, I worked out but when it came to choosing food, I just lost it and started crying and that just made me more upset because it has been so long. I thought I was doing so well.”

“You are doing really well, y/n. We talked about this, bad days are going to happen and I am proud of you for fighting to stay strong. A year ago you would have gone straight to bed instead you worked out and managed to make food and it looks like you even got a couple of bites in. That is huge y/n.”

Your gaze fell to your hands still tightly clinging to Leigh’s t-shirt. You feel terrible, you are exhausted and feel weak for having a bad day. 

“Look at me y/n,” Leigh held both your cheeks in her hands and gently pulled your face up to look at her, “I am so proud of you.”

She leaned closer and pressed her lips to your forehead then each cheek and then your chin. You melted into the softness letting her words sink in and push the bad thoughts out. You moved to capture her lips in a desperate kiss. You kissed her with all the love you could give her trying desperately to say thank you with your lips. Thank you for loving me, for knowing me, for being you. You thought to yourself. You pressed closer as she melted into the kiss hoping she could feel how much you loved her. 

She pulled back slowly and rested her forehead against your “I love you too, y/n. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Leigh so much. Wait,” you pulled back, “why are you home?”

She brushed some of your hair back behind your ear and smiled. “I was hoping to surprise you. I tried to get home before dinner but traffic was crazy. Anyway, surprise! I'm home!”

You lightly tapped her shoulder with your dominant hand and kept your other holding the end of her shirt. “Leigh, I can see that you are home. Now tell me what happened?”

Her smile grew. “Well, Sorry for Your Loss is being published!”

You could feel how big your own smile was the second she said those words. “Leigh, that is incredible! You are incredible! I can’t wait to have my own signed hard copy!”

You were so proud and happy for Leigh you couldn’t contain yourself. She has been writing this book about grief and her experience for so long and it is beautiful and real and finally, the world is going to see it. You quickly squeezed her close in a tight hug. She squeezed you back with soft laughter falling from her lips. “I have to breathe y/n.”

You loosened your grip around her but kept her in your arms “I know I’m just so happy for you! We should celebrate!”

“We can celebrate tomorrow. I don't want to push you.”

You shook your head “no Leigh I’m not letting my head win I want to celebrate how amazing my wife is.” 

She smiled softly “We can celebrate here at home. Why don’t we order in and celebrate just you and I and then this weekend we can go out with everyone to celebrate more? Please I’m tired and I missed you.”

You know what Leigh is doing. She is making it about her instead of the fact that you were literally breaking down when she got home. You sigh knowing that you won’t win this argument. You also know Leigh is right if you went out tonight you might have another breakdown. 

Her hand caressing your cheek pulls you out of your thoughts. “Please y/n.”

Her eyes are so loving that you find yourself nodding in agreement. “Okay fine, but we are definitely celebrating this weekend. I am so proud of you Leigh! I want to scream it out the windows.”

She laughed as she shook her head “I’d prefer if you are going to scream it be other things but food first.” 

Her smirk is pure evil and you can feel your entire face and neck heat up the deep red blush taking over your skin. She quickly pecked your lips before she stood up. “I missed that blush. Now, I’m gonna go change and call for the usual. You throw that away and pick a movie.”

She pointed at the now dry mac n cheese before turning towards the bedroom. You quickly cleaned up your now gross dinner and chose a movie. You settled onto the couch with a pile of blankets just as Leigh returned in a big t-shirt and her sleep shorts. You soaked her in not even caring that she was watching you stare. “Damn I missed you. Did you get more beautiful?” 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head but her smile and blush were clear as day. She moved to her bags at the front door and pulled out a bottle of champagne. Your smile fell from your lips. Leigh probably had a cute plan for tonight but had to come home to your mental breakdown instead. Guilt and shame seep into your bones as negative thoughts begin to swirl in your mind. Thoughts of how much you don’t deserve Leigh, how she deserves so much better. You feel your vision fade the world in front of you a haze as you pick at your cuticles mindlessly. You feel numb, your mind is telling you that you ruin everything and all you want to do is curl up in a ball but you can’t seem to move. 

The pop of the champagne bottle in the kitchen startles you out of your head and you try to shake it off so you don’t ruin things more. You take a deep breath and force a smile hoping that faking it till you make it will work. Leigh enters with two glasses of champagne and a soft smile. She hands you a glass and you take it. She takes a seat next to you and you both turn to face each other. You smile “Leigh I am so proud of you, I know it wasn’t easy to write but you did it and you created a masterpiece about grief and love and it, no, you are truly amazing. Cheers to you for being absolutely incredible.” 

You moved to clink your glass with hers but she stopped you. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. So, cheers to the most supportive wife ever.”

Your smile softened as she clinked her glass with yours. You both took a drink and your body automatically reacted to the fizzy liquid craving more in hopes that the effect of the alcohol would clear your mind. “Hey, y/n slowdown.”

You quickly pulled the glass away from your lips and set the glass down on the coffee table. “Sorry, Leigh.”

She set her glass next to yours and turned back to you. Her hands came up to push your hair back behind your ears. She kept her hands there softly holding your face. “Talk to me, what is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

A sigh escapes you, you feel defeated like you just keep ruining everything. You close your eyes as you feel the tears welling up once again and it makes you frustrated that you are about to cry again. “Hey, it’s okay y/n.”

“No, it’s not. I ruin everything. You brought champagne home you wanted to celebrate and instead, you came home and had to console your crazy wife.”

She brushed her thumbs over your cheeks clearing the tears that escaped as you opened your eyes. “No y/n. You don’t ruin anything.” 

You shake your head as your lip quivers and you fight back more tears. “Listen to me, not the voices in your head, y/n. You are my love, my everything. I love you and you make my life worth living. Hard days are going to happen but we are in this together, right?”

You glance down, her green eyes melting your heart. She lifts your chin. “Look at me. Together?” 

You nod agreeing quickly under her serious stare. “Together.”

She leaned in and captured your lips in a hard kiss. You return it knowing she needs to make sure you understand. She pulls back after a moment and drops her hands from your face to your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too.” 

She kept you in her arms and you breathed her in, calming at her familiar scent. You don’t know how long she held you like that but she only pulled away when there was a knock at the door. She pecked your cheek before going and getting the delivered food. She brought it over to the coffee table and spread the takeout containers in front of you both. You took a deep breath as you prepared to try and eat the food you usually enjoy. She turned to glance your way and noticed your hesitation. “Hey, will you give me a bite of that?”

She pointed to the container in front of you and you nodded as you picked up the container to hand it to her. She didn’t take it but instead just opened her mouth and wiggled her eyebrows. A smile took over your features in an instant. She hadn’t done this for you in so long because well you hadn’t needed her too but here she was asking you to feed her so she could then feed you like she used to like it was so natural to her. You scrunch your nose and lips as you try to contain your laughter. You quickly grabbed a fork and got some of the food on it before slowly guiding it into her mouth. She dramatically moaned out as she closed her lips around the fork and cleared it. “So good!”

She took the fork from you and scooped up a smaller portion for you, “Here try it babe it’s so good.”

You opened your mouth as she brought the food to your lips and you focused on her smile as you took the food into your mouth. You began to chew it and had to close your eyes for a second as an urge to spit it out overcame you. “Do you taste that? It’s so sweet and savory.”

You focused your attention on trying to taste it instead of the texture and sensation that stuff was in your mouth when your body didn’t want it to be there. When you finally actually tasted the food you sighed and managed to swallow it without too much of a struggle. You gave Leigh a soft smile “Thanks, Leigh.”

“Always y/n.”

A/N: I hope you liked this Anon! Again please know you are not alone sending you nothing but love and support for you to have a healthy relationship with food :) Thank you for the request. I enjoyed writing this one, it was very therapeutic. 

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Leave, Then Go (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! Soooo... I did a thing. 

The response was positive, so I went with it. Double Lizzie! Excited to present you with the Wanda/ Leigh crossover! Let me know what you think, I’m actually excited about this!

Summary: Y/n works on mending bridges with Leigh when she meets the alluring Wanda Maximoff. 

After waiting for what felt like hours, the woman you were waiting for finally appeared. You scrambled to your feet as you rushed forward to meet her. Concern immediately took precedent when you were able to fully take in her appearance. 

She looked like a ghost of who she used to be. Beautiful, but void of life. 

The bags under her eyes were prominent and the naturally glimmering emerald eyes that you used to love were dull. Empty. Dark like a storm rather than bright like the sea. Her shoulders were slumped forward with the weight of life when she used to stand so tall before.

It was as though she had been drained of all the light that she used to radiate.

Guilt clawed angrily at your chest. “Leigh.” You breathed out, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 

When she met your eyes, her expression hardened. That was always a special talent of hers. Making you feel small with just a look. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hi Y/n. You look good. Thanks, I did start running again. Green juice, it does wonders.” You sarcastically began a conversation with yourself. If her defense mechanism was being cold, yours was humor. 

Leigh wasn’t amused by your antics in the slightest.

If looks could kill you’d be six feet under now. “What are you doing here?” She repeated in annoyance, heavily emphasizing every word. 

Everything about her posture screamed impatience. “I-I wanted to check on you sooner. I did.” You fearfully watched a disbelieving smile spread across her lips. You knew that look. She was about to tear you apart. “I know! I know. I’m way too late and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Leigh.” You rushed out, the words clumsily stumbling over one another as they tumbled from your lips. They were sincere though. You hoped she knew that.

“That’s not good enough.” The bite of her words made you flinch. Leigh moved to step around you, but you caught her arm.

You dropped your hand when you noticed her eyes fall to the place you made contact. “I know it’s not.” A heavy sigh escaped your lips. “By the time I heard the news, it had been months. Then it took me months to work up the courage to see you again… The last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly a… fond memory.”

Leigh’s eyes began analyzing you critically. You shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. “I needed you, Y/n. I needed you and you weren’t there.” Her eyes began to shine slightly with unshed tears.

The shame you felt made it impossible to maintain eye contact with the woman before you. “I know.” You whispered. “And I’m sorry, Leigh. Truly. I am. If you allow me, I’d like to earn your forgiveness. Your trust. To prove I can be there for you and be the friend you need.”

“Friend?” Leigh raised an eyebrow as she loosely crossed her arms. “If my memory serves me correctly that’s the reason you weren’t there in the first place.”

You awkwardly rubbed your arm. “Yes. Friend. I can do that. I can be that for you… If you give me the chance.”

Leigh stared at you intently, her eyes searching yours, for what you didn’t know. “No more grand declarations or ultimatums?” 

“No grand declarations or ultimatums.” You repeated as you smiled hesitantly back at her. 

You desperately tried to beat back the memory that lingered at the forefront of your mind. Of tear stained cheeks and white dresses.

After a tense moment of silence, Leigh nodded. “Probation.” She warned simply with a point of her finger as she moved around you to go into her house.

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You expected her to tear you apart. Scream at you until she was blue in the face. “I’ll call you?” You called after her unsurely. “We can get coffee?”

“Mmm.” Leigh hummed flippantly over her shoulder, barely audible as she closed the door behind herself.

With a small smile you turned and began walking back in the direction of your own apartment. The conversation had gone better than you had dared to hope it would. Leigh could be cruel when she was hurt, and you knew you had hurt her. Leaving the conversation unscathed felt like nothing short of a miracle. 

___________________________

Lying awake in bed later that night, your mind couldn’t help but wander to Leigh. Not that those thoughts were anything out of the ordinary. Seeing her today though made you worry even more than usual. 

Hey. I don’t know if this is still

your number. It’s Y/n. 

Read 12:14 a.m

You watched the bubble appear and disappear at the bottom of the screen several times before your phone chimed with a reply. 

Is this a booty call?

Sent 12:19 a.m.

What? No! I just wanted

to check on you.

Read 12:20 a.m.

Surprising. 

Sent 12:21 a.m.

Surprising that it’s not

a booty call or surprising

that I’m checking on you?

Read 12:22 a.m.

You tell me.

Sent 12:22 a.m.

I really did want to check

on you, Leigh.

Read 12:24 a.m.

I’m fine. Goodnight.

Sent 12:25 a.m.

Goodnight, Leigh. I’ll be at 

Coffee Code tomorrow morning doing 

some work if you want to stop by.

Read at 12:26 a.m.

After a few minutes of silence, it was clear she wasn’t going to reply, so you allowed your eyes to close as you drifted into a restless sleep. Still haunted by the image of white dresses and tear stained cheeks. 

___________

The bustle of the early morning crowd at the local coffee shop was always a place of serenity for you. The sounds of everyone around you going on with their lives was calming white noise to you and made doing tasks easier. 

“Excuse me?” You looked up and smiled slightly, actually surprised that Leigh had taken you up on your offer. “Do you mind if I sit here with you? It’s pretty crowded.”

Relief was your initial response to seeing her. There was still sorrow in her eyes, but the resentment she regarded you with yesterday had faded. There was an air of shyness that she carried that was unfamiliar to you. 

Leigh was many things but timid was not one of them. “Of course not, I did invite you after all.” 

Her head tilted slightly, and her movements became hesitant as she sat across from you. “I’m sorry?” 

Nerves forced you to look away from her and fiddle with the cup of coffee before you. “Last night? I really was trying to check on you.” The smooth porcelain under your fingers distracted you from seeing the way the woman before you watched you with confusion. “You look beautiful today by the way.” 

Regret flooded your racing mind as soon as the words fell from your lips. The compliment was definitely overstepping the boundaries of friendship. 

A light blush spread across Leigh’s cheeks at your words. Odd. Leigh usually dismissed your compliments or rolled her eyes. “Um…” The other woman’s nose scrunched slightly. “I think you may have me confused with someone else.”

You weren’t sure what game she was playing, and it put you on edge. “Leigh, it’s obviously you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not your friend. My name is Wanda.” The woman informed you shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Your eyes widened in disbelief. This woman was the spitting image of Leigh. It wasn’t Leigh though. That much became clear the more you observed her.

For the first time since she sat down you were able to detect the subtle differences. Wanda’s hair was just a shade darker. The make-up she wore was just a tad more noticeable. The many rings stacked on her fingers were accessories that Leigh would never wear. 

More importantly, the way she carried herself. It was heavy and timid but lighter than Leigh. Something about Wanda reminded you of breaches of sunlight breaking through storm clouds rather than the perpetual storm that Leigh carried. The storm that always seemed to be moments away from sweeping you away. 

Wanda was beautiful. Obviously. She was beautiful in a way that was different than Leigh even though they looked identical. There were no sharp edges to her beauty. It was soft. Like the first break of day. Leigh’s beauty was all sharp edges threatening to cut you to your core at every turn. 

You didn’t know Wanda, but you wanted to.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly apologized when you realized you had been spacing out. “I must have made you so uncomfortable! It’s just that you look exactly like my friend and she makes me nervous so I didn’t even notice the difference at first. You could be her twin-” Your nervous ramblings were cut short by a hand being placed over your own. 

Wanda smiled slightly and all you could do was cover your face in embarrassment. She must think you’re a psychopath. “It’s okay…” She trailed off and raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

It didn’t take long for you to catch on. “Oh! My name is Y/n.” You shook your head as you humiliated yourself even more with each passing minute. “I’m so embarrassed.”

The melodic sound of her laughter drifted into your ears causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.” Your cheeks burned at her words. The chime of her phone interrupted the moment as she finally pulled her hand back. 

A small frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she read over the message on her phone. “Not to over step, but is everything okay?”

“Yes. I just need to leave now unfortunately.” You noticed an almost undetectable accent framed her words. The accent just made her all the more alluring to you. “Do you think I could have your number?” She asked shyly as she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.

Without hesitation, you scrambled to find a pen and a loose scrap of paper to write your number on. “Here you go.” You both shared bashful smiles when your hands grazed one another.

With a small wave, and a soft smile Wanda turned to leave. “I’ll call you.” Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought as you dreamily watched her walk out of the coffee shop.

“Okay. Am I going to regret coming?” You jumped at the unexpected appearance, causing you to spill your coffee. You mumbled several choice expletives under your breath as you desperately attempted to salvage the papers that you had spent the entire morning working on. 

Realizing that the attempts were futile you crumpled the papers and focused on drying the table. “We’re off to a great start already.” You heard Leigh sarcastically muse from her place across from you.

Nerves bloomed in your chest, knowing it was actually Leigh sitting across from you. You treaded forward cautiously. “S-sorry. I’m glad you made it out, Leigh. It’s good to see you.” You stuttered out. 

“I would ask how the coffee is, but it looks like the table would know more than you would.” Even more sarcasm. Definitely Leigh. Like you had noted when Wanda was there, Leigh was all sharp edges.

At the thought of Wanda, you leaned forward, pretending to not notice the way Leigh’s aloof attitude faltered slightly. “Do you have a twin?”

A dry laugh fell from Leigh’s lips. More controlled than Wanda’s. “What? Are you on drugs?” 

“I think I may have just met your twin.”

Leigh’s stare became cautious when she realized you weren’t joking.

There it is! Debating making this into a series. If I did should Wanda have powers or should she just be a normal person? Also how does the title Love Me (Or Let Me Go) sound? :) Let me know what you all think, I’m excited to hear back from you all! Thoughts and comments always welcome!

[jaysgaystuff]

Welcome to my blog!

About me:

my name is jay/laura and i‘m 19 years old. I’m a lesbian! my mbti type is infp. my favorite marvel movies/series are age of ultron, infinity war and wandavision. I’m obsessed with first kill. my favorite color is blue/purple and I’m a cat person:) Text me for more infos about me!

I‘ll write:

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Rules:

no hate! only critic!

be nice in the comments:)

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requests are allowed until I change it. I will accept everything!

________________________

don’t copy, translate or steal my work and claim it as yours!

[randomshyperson]

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[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (9/?)

Part Summary: You get more than you bargained for on Halloween

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader, temporary Leigh x Danny | Word count for this part: 7.300+ | Warnings: Light angst, R and Leigh being obtuse | Author's Note: Longest chapter so far (and about 90% of it is just Leigh and R)! I have officially written another novel length fic with this update. From a two-shot to this? Wouldn't be possible without everyone's support. Thank you, everyone. I have a little treat for you at the end.

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII

-

Despite Leigh's promise to bring Logan in for his vaccinations, she missed the appointment again for the second time. Understanding that life gets hectic, you decide that rather than seeing Logan miss another round of critical vaccinations, you'll take matters into your own hands and arrange a home visit at the Shaw’s.

On the day of the visit, you discover that Logan has gained 2.5 pounds in just two weeks. The drastic weight gain might indicate that he’s not a purebred Shih Tzu as you originally thought when you got him, or Leigh has been feeding him more than the recommended serving size. You can feel Logan’s solid back as you hold him in place while you administer the vaccine on his scruff. Leigh appears nervous, and if you weren’t determined to scold her after completing Logan’s immunizations, you might have found it adorable.

“Just a quick pinch, buddy,” you murmur soothingly to the anxious pup. Logan yelps as the needle pierces his skin, but within two seconds, it’s over. You rub his neck to distract him from the sting of the medicine, then return to your insulated bag to dispose of the syringe. Leigh watches closely as you finish with Logan, a slight frown creasing her forehead. You notice she's dressed in what you figure is her nightwear—a thin olive camisole and matching capri pants. It seems too dressed down for receiving a guest.

“Why are these vaccines so important, anyway?” she asks lightly, but you don’t miss her apprehension behind it. “I mean, he'll mostly be indoors…”

The frustration from her missing two appointments sneaks into your voice as you say, “Vaccines can mean the difference between life and death for puppies. Take the parvovirus—it's lethal and spreads quickly.”

Leigh nods, taking in the weight of your words. You notice her swallow, perhaps realizing the graveness of her oversight. “I didn't realize it was that serious,” she murmurs.

You catch yourself, realizing you might be coming across as harsher than necessary. “It's alright, Leigh. That's exactly why I came here,” you say mildly. You've dealt with many uneducated dog owners before, and Leigh is no different. You know you need to be patient with her, just as you have been with others, and you remind yourself not to let your personal feelings interfere with your professional opinions.

Logan wiggles happily at your feet, seemingly forgiving you for the shot already. “And another thing,” you add, glancing down at Logan’s round belly, “he’s put on quite a bit of weight. We need to watch his diet. Too much food isn’t good for him either.”

Leigh looks slightly embarrassed. “I guess I've been spoiling him with extra treats,” she admits. “I'll be more careful with that.”

“It’s okay. I know how hard it is to say ‘no’ to that face,” you say, smiling at Logan while you rub his chin. “Just keep to the recommended portions, and he’ll be in good shape.”

As you gather your things to leave, you remember Logan's vaccine card. After filling out the final details, you head towards the kitchen where Leigh has silently drifted off. She's busying herself with breakfast on the stove when you approach.

“Here's Logan's vaccine card,” you say, handing it to her. “He needs another dose in two weeks, so don't forget to schedule that in.”

“Thank you,” Leigh says, accepting the card with a nod. “I won't forget this time.”

The aroma of coffee wafts through the room, tickling your nose.

“I've just made some coffee. Would you like to stay for breakfast?” Leigh asks.

You hesitate, considering the offer, but you’re inclined to refuse, still irked by her missing the previous appointments. “I’m good, thanks,” you say, a bit too briskly. Leigh's face falls slightly, a look of disappointment flashing across her eyes before she gives you a small, resigned smile and turns back to the stove.

You start to leave but something stops you—the frustration from Leigh’s no-shows running over. 

“Leigh, can I ask why you didn’t make it to the clinic? And not even a text,” you find yourself saying as you spin on your heels to face her. “It’s not just unprofessional—it hurts more coming from a friend.”

“If you have a problem with me, it’s perfectly okay to transfer Logan to another clinic as long as you’ll follow through with his appointments,” you suggest, noting her standing there, mouth agape, her vivid green eyes sharply focused. Getting that off your chest didn't bring the relief you expected. Instead, you're left with a sinking feeling of regret. Looking back on your words, you realize how petty they must have sounded.

Leigh on the other hand, is momentarily stunned by your outburst, her eyes wide as she absorbs your words. Then, something shifts in her expression, a flicker of intrigue crossing her features before she clears her throat and apologizes.

“I'm really sorry,” she says sincerely, turning off the stove and setting down her spatula. “I didn't handle things well, and you were right to call me out on it.” Leigh takes a careful step closer, causing you to instinctively step back until your lower back meets the edge of the dining table. You weren't expecting Leigh to be so understanding, leaving you unsure of how to react. Should you apologize for getting upset?

Fortunately, Leigh doesn't leave you to dwell on your thoughts for long. She continues, “Why don't you stay for breakfast? I can whip up something nice, and we can catch up like we used to. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Feeling like an absolute fool and still grappling with the aftertaste of your flare-up, you find yourself in a quandary. Rejecting her offer would just drag out this uncomfortable moment even longer, which is the last thing you want. Besides, your stomach is growling—you haven’t eaten anything since you got here, and the smell of brewing coffee is too good to ignore.

“Alright,” you relent, glancing down at your feet. “That sounds good.”

Leigh looks relieved. “Perfect, just give me a minute,” she says, clapping her hands together as she turns back to her cooking.

You linger awkwardly, still standing. “Need a hand with anything?” you ask.

“Just sit there, be all pretty, and relax.”

That little compliment makes your cheeks burn even hotter. If you weren’t so distracted by your hunger and embarrassment, you'd swear it’s almost as if she’s flirting with you.

Wait.

Is she?

Then, as if the universe can hear you thinking, Leigh’s phone buzzes loudly on the kitchen counter. She snatches it up, and even though you can’t see her face, you can tell she’s happy he called as she chirps, “Hey, Danny.”

Right. Danny Greer. That name shatters your brief daydream. Suzie was right—you're too close, and it's clouding your judgment. Leigh laughs into the phone, and you look away just in time for her to turn slightly and steal a glance at you.

Alright, you think, that's it. After this breakfast, it's time to really put some space between you and Leigh. You need to clear your head and let her have her space too. It's the best move, for the sake of your friendship and your sanity.

As Leigh busies herself in the kitchen, you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through your phone, not really focusing on anything. The sound of her laughter while she talks to Danny floats over to you, making you regret agreeing to stay for breakfast and blame your inability to say no to her.

She ends the call with a lingering smile and soon approaches with two plates in hand. Each has a stack of pancakes and two sunny-side-up eggs with the edges just crisped up how you like them. The fact that Leigh remembered leaves you speechless. It’s a small detail, but it makes you guilty for brooding and feeling all jealous. 

“I hope you still like your eggs this way,” Leigh says as she sets the table.

“Thank you,” you say warmly as Leigh pours coffee for both of you. Recalling her preference, you offer to add two sugars to her cup, and she rewards you with a small, appreciative smile. She then grabs the syrup from the fridge, along with two sets of utensils, and places them on the table.

You take a bite of the fluffy pancakes, perfectly cooked and deliciously light. “These are amazing, Leigh,” you say enthusiastically.

Leigh beams, standing a bit taller with pride instead of dismissing the praise. “I'm glad you think so! I've been working on perfecting the recipe.”

“Seriously, Leigh, you could sell these.”

She laughs. “Keep the compliments coming and I might just make you breakfast more often.”

You almost choke at her words. You really should take a little break from Leigh until you can get this crush under control. Even simple remarks are starting to feel like a tightrope walk.

Leigh tilts her head slightly, a coy look crossing her face. “So…” she drawls, leaving the word hanging as she waits for you to look up from your plate.

You stop chewing once you sense her heavy gaze on you. “Hmm?”

Leaning in slightly, she lowers her voice as though about to share a secret. “This Sara... is she a friend of yours? Someone new around here?”

The piece of pancake suddenly feels like a mouthful of sawdust as you process her question. You grab your coffee and take a quick gulp to help wash it down. “I, uh, met her on a dating app, actually,” you say.

Leigh's eyebrow arches. “Oh?” 

There’s a short, tense period where you repeatedly stab your pancake and tap your foot rapidly against the leg of the stool you’re sitting on, while Leigh twirls her hair around her finger, lost in thought.

“She’s gorgeous,” Leigh finally says. “I didn’t know you were into women.” That is, unless you and the person from her advice column are one and the same. She's chosen to approach what she's dubbed the “EspressoEyes conundrum” as a Schrödinger’s cat scenario, where you simultaneously do and do not have feelings for Leigh.

You fiddle with your coffee mug. “Yeah, I think I've mentioned that before,” you say, though your memory suddenly feels unreliable.

Leigh shakes her head, certain. “No, you definitely haven't told me that.”

“Well, yes, I'm into women, but obviously I like men too,” you say, deciding it's perhaps better to just be clear. 

“We're the same then,” she says casually, as if discussing something as mundane as their taste in movies.

“Really?” You’re hoping Leigh is buying the faux surprise on your face, even though Jules had let slip about Leigh's college days.

“Yeah,” Leigh nods. “I had a serious relationship with a woman back in college. It's not something I talk about much, but it's part of who I am.”

“I see.”

Leigh takes a slow sip of her coffee, eyeing you over the rim of her mug with a slight tilt of her head. 

“So, do you like her? Sara, I mean,” she asks.

“Yeah, she’s great. We get along really well.”

Leigh sets her coffee cup down with a small clink, not missing a beat. “Have you guys...you know, slept together?” she asks, more bluntly than before.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, feeling a bit like you’re under interrogation. “Um…no, we haven’t.” 

A quick glint flashes in her eyes before it vanishes. Her shoulders relax as she leans back in her chair. “Sorry, that was out of line,” she mumbles with a curt, dismissive laugh. “I guess I'm just being nosy.”

The way she said it doesn't truly suggest she's sorry for crossing some lines, but you’re not focusing on that. Rather, you feel like you’ve earned the right to ask Leigh some questions about her own personal affairs.

“And you?” you start, trying to sound flippant. “How are things with you and Danny?”

Leigh matches your nonchalance as she stands up to gather the empty plates from the table. There's a smooth, practiced ease in the way she begins cleaning up, letting you know she's not about to let your questions corner her.

“Things are... going,” she replies, keeping it vague. “Danny's great. We're figuring things out as we go.”

“Where'd you meet him?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

“He's Matt's brother,” Leigh says flatly, without flinching. You have to give it to her for being so straightforward about it. Not that you’re judging Leigh or anything—it’s just that moving from in-laws to lovers is quite an unconventional transition.

It’s also possible that you’re just bitter.

“Did you always find him attractive?” you ask, almost spitefully, curiosity getting the better of you. Leigh freezes, her back going rigid at your callous words. There's a moment of visible tension, but then she lets out a slow breath and lets it slide. She had been quite direct in probing about your dating life, so perhaps this levels the playing field.

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Leigh says slowly. “I—”

“Oh hey, Y/N, it's been a while!”

Neither of you heard the front door open. Jules bursts in, holding Logan who's wagging his tail wildly at the sight of familiar faces, both oblivious to the cutting atmosphere they've just entered.

“Oh hey, Y/N, it's been a while!” Jules exclaims. She looks between you and Leigh. “Am I interrupting something?” she asks, noticing the residual stiffness in the air. 

“Y/N was just leaving,” Leigh says. 

You don’t need to be told twice. “Hey, Jules,” you say with a short wave. “I just came to give Logan his shots.” 

Jules frowns slightly as you start to leave so soon after her arrival. You reach over to give Logan a quick pat on the head. Turning to Leigh, you manage a tight smile and say, “Thanks for the breakfast.”

As soon as you're out the door, Jules turns to Leigh with a worried look. “What was all that about?” she asks softly.

Leigh shrugs, her expression inscrutable. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replies evenly, turning away to busy herself with the dishes.

-

You get into your car but instead of starting it, you just sit there motionless. Your hands rest aimlessly on the wheel as you lose yourself in thought.

Here’s the truth about Sara:

She's exactly your type on paper—blonde, blue-eyed, stunning. But despite all that, she hadn't managed to hold your attention. Her beauty just couldn't pull your mind away from Leigh, from her vivid green eyes that always seemed to see right through you.

The silence in the car allows you to realize what an odd question you had thrown at Leigh about Danny. You realize just how inappropriate it might have seemed, how it must have sounded coming from a place of jealousy rather than concern.

Why did you even ask that? The answer is uncomfortably clear: you can't be just friends with Leigh. Not anymore. You’ve been lying to yourself, hoping things would just sort themselves out. But they won’t. Not like this. You can’t keep doing this to yourself—or to her. 

Because right now, this friendship, if you can even call it that, is doing more harm than good.

-

“It’s not working.”

Suzie looks up from her clipboard, startled. Her red locks tumble across her face as she tilts her head, brushing them back with a quick flick of her hand.

“Seeing other people, you mean?” she asks, already guessing the root of your distress.

You run a hand through your hair, messing up your low ponytail. Frustrated, you decide to let your hair loose from the tie altogether. 

“I thought if I met someone like Sara—someone who’s practically a checklist of everything I find attractive—it would make things easier. But it’s just... not.” You massage your temples, as if trying to rub away the spell Leigh seems to have cast on you. “She's perfect, but she's not Leigh. And no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about Leigh.”

“You're right about one thing though,” Suzie says, getting back to her task.

“Which is…?” 

“That Sara’s perfect,” she chuckles, and you can't help but roll your eyes. “Look, you can’t force these feelings. If your heart’s not in it, it’s not in it.”

“So…Should I keep seeing her? Maybe she’ll grow on me or something.”

Suzie stops and gives you a serious look. “Maybe. But love shouldn't feel like an obligation, you know? It’s not fair to either of you if you’re just waiting to see if you’ll catch feelings.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” you acknowledge with a sigh. “She’s everything I thought I wanted. And I think she likes me.”

“Sometimes what we think we want isn’t what we really need,” Suzie answers. “Why not take a break? Give yourself some space to think. It might help you figure out what really works—whether it’s Sara, someone else, or just time to yourself.”

“You think so?”

Suzie gives a small shrug. “Look, I don’t have all the answers.”

Hearing that makes you feel a tad embarrassed. You’ve been leaning on her for advice a lot lately, and it’s probably awkward for her, especially since you're her boss. Maybe she’s just being nice because she has to be.

“Thanks, Sue,” you say, standing up from your chair to head back to your office. “I appreciate you listening to all this.”

She smiles back, and you can tell she’s relieved to move on from the subject. Suzie might not have all the answers, but maybe there’s another place you can find them.

-

That night, in your bedroom, you settle in front of your laptop, the cursor blinking expectantly on the blank submission form of the advice column. You type in your handle—EspressoEyes—a moniker you’d used before, thinking it would increase your chances of being noticed again. Quickly, you type out your query and hit send, watching as it disappears into the digital ether. No sooner have you shut your laptop than your phone rings. It’s your mom.

“Hey, Mom,” you answer, shifting to sit against your headboard.

“Hi, sweetheart! Are you coming home for Thanksgiving? We’re starting to plan the menu and would love to have you,” she says. Your chest tightens. Just hearing her voice makes you feel like you’re already home. You pretend to think for a second, considering your rather empty social calendar.

“Yeah, I’ll come home,” you decide, realizing it might be nice to get away for a bit.

“Oh good! It’s been too long. We’ll make sure to have all your favorites,” she chatters on, already listing the dishes that would normally make you salivate. But these days, you just don’t have the appetite for food.

“Sounds great, Mom. Really looking forward to it.” 

You hang up with a promise to send your flight details soon. Setting your phone down, you feel a slight relief at the thought of escaping to a place where no one knows about the mess you’re in.

-

Leigh can’t sleep. She lies wide awake, staring at the ceiling while Danny's snores fill the room. The weight of his arm draped over her stomach feels stifling, trapping her in place. She can’t breathe. Carefully, so as not to wake him, she slips out from under his arm and tiptoes out of the bedroom. In the hallway, she grabs one of his shirts hanging over a chair and slips it on. It smells like sandalwood and something uniquely him—comforting yet somehow off-putting at the same time.

She pads into the kitchen to boil some water, the soft click of the stove burner igniting a comforting sound in the otherwise quiet apartment. With the kettle on, she wanders into the living room, pulling Danny's shirt closer around her. Even with the windows closed, the crisp chill of autumn seeps in.

Sitting on the couch, Leigh pulls her knees to her chest. The post-sex cocktail of oxytocin and vasopressin usually knocks her out, but tonight they fail her. Instead, her mind is filled with doubts and the urge to flee from any kind of closeness.

She remembers the last conversation with you, the disapproval on your face when you finally mentioned her relationship with Danny. It troubles her more than she expected. Were you right? Is she just scrambling to fit someone, anyone, into her life, even if it means ignoring the screams inside her head telling her to run?

The kettle whistles, snapping her out of her thoughts. She makes her tea and settles back into the couch, stirring slowly as she thinks about what it might mean to step back from everything—Danny, you, all of it.

With nothing but time until sleep takes her or the sun rises—whichever comes first—Leigh picks up her phone to distract herself. She scrolls through social media, news articles, anything to keep her mind off the spinning thoughts. Eventually, she wanders to the advice column inbox to check on the latest submissions.

Her breath catches in her throat when she sees another entry from EspressoEyes, a handle she recognizes—possibly yours. It reads:

“Is it wise to pursue other relationships if you have strong feelings for someone else? That someone is a friend, and staying just friends is becoming increasingly difficult. My feelings seem to be putting a strain on our relationship. Should I give myself some space?”

Leigh reads the message two more times. She sets her phone down, her thumb instinctively finding its way to her mouth where she nibbles at the nail, a nervous habit when she’s thinking long and hard. And the more she thinks about it, the more obvious it becomes. Of course, she's the friend you're talking about. This is you, openly struggling with your feelings for her. She had hoped things might change, might become less complicated when Sara came into the picture, but she was mistaken. 

When she asked about Sara, Leigh was trying to gauge your feelings for her, wondering if Sara's presence meant she didn't need to worry about whether you were EspressoEyes or not. In her mind, if you were involved with Sara, it would imply you weren't interested in Leigh. But she surprised even herself by asking if you had slept with Sara, unsure why she needed to know that detail. Deep down, she couldn’t openly admit just how relieved she felt when you told her you hadn’t.

Leigh picks up her phone again and starts typing out a reply to the submission. When she’s done she tosses her phone somewhere on the couch and goes back to her tea. Sitting there, she watches as the sky outside shifts from dark to a wash of pastels. 

-

A week later, Leigh’s phone vibrates incessantly on the table, the screen lighting up with Danny's name again. Finally, with a frustrated sigh, she turns it off and sets it aside. They've been cycling through breakups and makeups so often it's exhausting—a twisted routine, one that's leaving her more drained each time. 

It's Halloween, and since she and Danny are off again, Leigh decides to take the night for herself. She picks Matt's favorite restaurant, which is fully decked out for the holiday, with jack-o'-lanterns lining the walls and eerie candles flickering on each table. She orders a pumpkin-spiced latte and a small plate of appetizers, settling in to enjoy her evening solo. Later, she’ll have that tiramisu that her late husband so adored.

Matt always loved this holiday because it was the one time of year Leigh would indulge him by dressing up as whatever comic book character he was into at the moment. They'd start the evening here for pre-dinner celebrations before meeting up with friends and family later on. But tonight, there are no costumes for Leigh; she's dressed simply in jeans and a cardigan, her face free of makeup, her hair tucked behind her ears to keep it out of the way while she eats. 

As she waits, she watches families and couples in costumes come and go, a bittersweet creeping up at her.

Then, you walk in. You’re dressed sharply, scanning the room like you're meeting someone—on a date. Leigh catches her breath. Were you aware that this was Matt’s favorite restaurant? Moreover, it’s been almost two weeks since that awkward morning when you left in a haste. You haven’t noticed her yet. Leigh watches you for a moment, debating what to do. She’s torn between going over or staying put. The last she contributed to the advice column, she’d left a message she hoped you'd find useful if you were indeed the person she’s been advising to. From the look of things, maybe you were taking that advice after all.

Taking a deep breath, Leigh stands and walks over. As you turn and notice her, a small, tentative smile appears on her lips when your eyes meet.

“Hey.”

You return the smile, though it's imbued with a bit of wariness. She appreciates it nonetheless.

“Hey,” you say. 

Leigh doesn't beat around the bush; she gets straight to the point of why she came over. “Look, I'm sorry,” she says, the words coming out almost demandingly. “About last time. I crossed a line asking about Sara.” 

There's an unmistakable assertiveness to her apology, carrying the same confidence and directness with which she usually addresses any issue. She doesn’t bow her head or wring her hands; instead, she holds your gaze steadily, expecting her apology to be taken as seriously as she means it. 

“It’s okay. I wasn’t exactly in line myself when I brought up Danny,” you say, looking up at her. Then, searching for something else to say, you ask, “So, are you here to meet Danny?”

Leigh seems unfazed by the mention of Danny, yet again. You feel a bit silly soon after, realizing that after just acknowledging the awkwardness of digging into each other’s romantic lives, here you are, doing it again. You just can’t help yourself, can you?

“No. I’m on my own tonight,” she replies. Then she mirrors your earlier question, a slight tilt to her head. “And you? Here with Sara?”

“No, things didn’t push through with Sara. I’m meeting someone new,” you say, the words feeling strange as they come out. It was a simple yes or no question, and you're not quite sure what compelled you to open up about the specifics of your dating life.

Leigh just nods, her face neutral, not giving away anything in reaction to your news. “I should let you get back to your, uh, date,” she says, then quietly returns to her seat.

Having a date with a stranger just a few feet away from the woman you truly care about is about as ironic as the universe can be.

-

You’re on your second americano, the bitter taste barely registering as you glance at your watch for the umpteenth time. It's been thirty minutes past the time your date was supposed to arrive, and there's still no sign of him. 

The restaurant has filled up around you. Families are tucked into booths, laughing and sharing plates piled high with food. Groups of friends clink glasses in cheerful toasts, and couples lean close, whispering and smiling over candlelit tables. Sitting alone at a table set for two, you start to feel conspicuously isolated. 

The last two texts you sent within the hour remain unanswered, their blue bubbles on the screen marking the time you spent waiting. Determined to find some explanation, you open the dating app where you met him, your fingers tapping nervously. There, his profile pops up, showing that he is currently online. Relief washes over you for a moment—maybe there's a reasonable explanation. He might still show up. But as you tap the message icon to send him a query about his whereabouts, a sudden notification stops you: you can no longer message this user.

Feeling disheartened and embarrassed, you can’t help but feel all kinds of ugly for being stood up by someone who doesn’t even mean anything to you. Did he see you waiting and decide not to meet? What about you turned him off? You find yourself scrutinizing everything about your appearance. Was it what you were wearing—perhaps not feminine enough for his taste? Your hair was pulled back, exposing your forehead; maybe he didn't like that look. Or was it your posture—too slouched or too stiff? You even wonder if he might have passed someone else on his way here, someone he found more attractive. It's unsettling to realize how quickly the self-confidence you've spent years building can be shaken in just one evening.

You signal the waiter for the check. Although your stomach is growling, the thought of eating anything seems impossible right now. You're just focused on getting out of there as quickly as you can. Just as you finish paying, Leigh appears at your table. Without a word, she slides into the seat across from you. You're surprised to see her, and although you're not really in the mood for company or conversation, her presence is somehow less intrusive than you would expect.

“I couldn't help but notice your date never arrived,” Leigh comments with an amused smile, inadvertently adding salt to the wound. You think to yourself, Way to rub it in, Leigh, but you're too drained to actually say anything confrontational, so you just mumble a small, “Yeah.”

Leigh leans in a bit closer, lowering her voice as if she's about to let you in on a secret. 

“Want to get out of here?”

-

It’s definitely not a date. Far from it.

It’s just two friends winding up spending Halloween together by chance.

It’s what Leigh keeps telling herself.

Leigh didn’t know what came over her when she went back to your table. She hadn't thought she'd be asking you to ditch the restaurant and wander the city for the rest of the night—together. What she did know was that she had been eating unusually slowly, glancing over at you occasionally to see how your evening was unfolding. But as it became painfully obvious that your date was a no-show, she couldn’t take it; seeing you left to handle the disappointment alone was more than she could bear.

Turning to Leigh in your car, you ask, “Do you mind if we stop first at the 7-Eleven on Main? I haven't had dinner yet.”

“What kind of dinner can you get from a 7-Eleven?” she asks.

You shrug and say, “Donuts.”

At the 7-Eleven, you grab a box of assorted donuts, and on a whim, you also pick up a few cans of beer to go along with them. With snacks in hand, you drive to a spot that overlooks the city—the same one where Leigh took you after getting takeouts the first time around. It’s not secluded—there’s a small crowd, with several cars parked and groups of people lounging on their car hoods.

“I wasn’t always attracted to him,” Leigh murmurs, after finishing her first beer. You both sit side-by-side with the trunk of your car open, swinging your legs while Leigh’s are crossed over the edge of the trunk.

You glance over at her, a curious ‘Hm?’ escaping your lips, though they're still full of donuts. 

Leigh chuckles at your reaction, finding the sight of your cheeks stuffed with food more endearing than she probably should. 

“Danny,” she clarifies with a sigh. “I actually used to hate him. He was always such a burden on Matt. Always dragging him into trouble.”

You think about what she's said, then offer a perspective, “You know, they say hate isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference. So maybe there’s always been something there, something more than just annoyance.”

Leigh leans back, stretching her arms out behind her for support as she considers your point. You find yourself wondering what's going through her mind. Is your honesty drawing her even closer to Danny? You could have exploited her past feelings, suggesting that maybe she's always disliked Danny and is confusing her loneliness for love. But you choose not to manipulate her emotions, even if it might be easy to sway her. You won't take advantage of her vulnerability just to get what you want.

Though you can’t deny that the temptation is there. 

“Leigh, can I ask you a question?” you say, watching her closely. 

She nods, her face open and expectant as she pops open another can of beer.

“How did you find out about me and Matt?”

Leigh takes a sip before answering. “Didn’t I mention it before?”

You purse your lips and shake your head, maintaining a neutral expression as you encourage her to elaborate.

“Danny told me,” Leigh reveals after a brief pause.

“What exactly did he tell you?” 

Leigh hesitates, her eyes flickering to the side before meeting yours again. She sets the can down, her fingers drumming against the aluminum in a slow, rhythmic pattern. 

“He just flat-out told me one night. I didn't believe him at first, so he mentioned your name to prove it, and I pieced together the rest. I tried to learn everything I could about you, where you lived... and that’s how I discovered your clinic in the city. And I... well, you know the rest,” she says. From what Leigh said, you easily conclude that Danny hadn't come clean to her about his role in facilitating your relationship with Matt. He had conveniently removed himself from the narrative, leaving out his involvement entirely. Lost in thought, you don't realize you've grown quiet until Leigh's voice pulls you back.

“Why do you ask?”

If you answer that question, you don’t believe you can continue hiding the truth about Danny any longer. As you watch Leigh, relaxed in the back of your car, her hair tousled by the gentle evening breeze, you're torn. You're afraid of disrupting her peace. The truth, as it often has, seems only to bring her pain. So, you buy yourself some time to think. 

“Do you ever wish he had just kept it to himself? That you never knew any of this?”

Leigh appears briefly disconcerted by the question. She takes some time to think about how to respond, and you give her the time she needs, reaching for another piece of donut from the box. At this rate, you're on track to polish off half a dozen all by yourself.

“Knowing the truth hurt—a lot. It felt like I was suddenly a stranger to my own life,” Leigh says, looking somewhere distant before her eyes return to you. “But then again, knowing has changed how I see things, how I see him—and even how I see you. It’s given me a chance to see things as they really are, not just how I want them to be.”

“You never would’ve met me,” you say with a light-hearted grin, almost suggesting that maybe it was better she hadn’t. But Leigh gives you a look, a gentle sadness in her eyes that makes it clear she doesn’t entertain the thought of not having met you.

“What about you? Do you wish things had stayed hidden?” she asks, turning the question back on you.

A part of you—a very significant part—trembles on the edge of laying bare your feelings for her.

Fiddling with the edge of the donut box, you let a small smile flicker across your lips, but it doesn't reach your eyes. “There's something to be said for not knowing everything. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss,” you say softly. “I mean, not knowing can save you from a lot of unnecessary heartache.”

As you speak, you’re still weighing whether knowing Leigh is turning into an unnecessary heartbreak.

Leigh nods slowly, the corners of her mouth lifting in a bittersweet smile. “Well, when you put it that way, maybe not knowing some things is for the best.”

It feels like a silent agreement on that fine line between knowing everything and being happier not knowing. Perhaps what you can do for now is spare Leigh from her own unnecessary heartbreak. If what she has with Danny is working, why ruin it?

“You know what's missing here? Music,” Leigh muses, reaching for her third beer. “Oh, and you better keep up,” she adds, glancing at the single beer you’ve had.

“Or how about you pace yourself? I'd hate for the party to end too soon for you,” you quip slyly. 

Leigh grins, unfazed by your warning. She leans closer, and her breath, warmed by the beers, brushes against your cheek. “Speaking of parties, I actually got invited to this Halloween bash tonight. Everyone's supposed to be in costume, and there will definitely be music. We should go. What do you say?”

You pretend to think about it, but you’re already clearing out your trunk and hopping off it as you reply, “Well, you did say you needed music.”

-

A party isn’t really your scene.

Leigh is already tipsy by the time you both arrive at it. People are either clad in bulky costumes or barely dressed at all. Halloween decorations dangle from the ceiling, a foot or two above the faces of the revelers as strobe lights flash in erratic bursts. You weave through a crowd of zombies and sexy nurses, the bass from the DJ's speakers vibrating under your feet.

As you're both making your way toward the bar, a co-worker spots Leigh and pulls her aside excitedly. “Leigh, over here!” they shout over the noise, grabbing her arm. She turns back to you with a slightly apologetic grin. “Just a sec, I'll catch up!” she promises, before being swallowed by the crowd, her hand slipping from your arm.

But that was half an hour ago.

Now, you're feeling dizzy from the alcohol that's been keeping you company in Leigh's absence, and the sea of masked and painted faces around you is starting to merge into a blur. You round a corridor that brings you back to the main room and finally, you spot her. Leigh is near the dance floor, laughing with a group dressed in characters you don’t recognize. She sees you and waves excitedly, her movements a bit too exaggerated. You make your way over, dodging a particularly enthusiastic witch.

“Found you,” you say, as you reach her side.

Leigh grins, her eyes bright. “Dance with me!” she yells over the music, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the throng of sweaty bodies. Too exhausted to argue, you let her lead you into the chaos. As the music takes over and you both start to dance, the rest of the party fades into the background. Leigh's hand is warm in yours, her other hand reaching up to loop around your neck. The music swells, and the crowd presses in, pushing you closer together. Her breath is sweet with the tang of alcohol, and her cheeks are flushed.

Leigh’s movements become less and less coordinated as she leans into you, her body heavenly against yours. Her lips come dangerously close to yours, barely brushing against them, and for a moment—surrounded by her warmth and scent—you're tempted. You want her, deeply, irrevocably—

But not like this.

You firm your hands on her hips, pushing her slightly away. “Hey, let's get some air, yeah?” you suggest calmly despite your heart going crazy in your chest.

She looks up at you, a bit confused but nods, her smile unfaltering. You take her hand again and guide her off the dance floor. Moving through the crowd proves to be a challenge with Leigh's unsteady steps. She stumbles, laughing as she clings to your arm for support.

“I almost ate it back there!” she exclaims, still giggling.

“Yeah, you did,” you mutter distractedly. As the festive sounds of the party fade behind the closed door, reality slaps you both with a sobering chill. Leigh is simply too drunk, and you’re almost a fool for nearly taking advantage of that. You can't concentrate on anything but what nearly happened back there.

You feel Leigh’s hand slip back into yours, slotting in place like magnets that just fit together. Her laughter has quieted, and she leans into you slightly, resting her head on your shoulder. It's then you realize that a drunken Leigh is more affectionate and less aware of physical boundaries—dangerous.

“You know, maybe we should call it a night? I can take you home,” you suggest, making an effort not to lean into her, even though the intoxicating mix of her shampoo and the faint scent of sweat beckons you closer.

Her reaction is immediate and surprisingly lucid. “I can’t go home like this,” Leigh protests, straightening up. “Jules has her own Halloween thing tonight, and I can't show up drunk and be seen like this by her. She’s been sober for a year now; I can’t just...” Her voice trails off, filled with worry. 

You glance at your wrist and see it's already 2 AM. A sigh escapes you as the reality of your early morning responsibilities begins to weigh in. You have to be up in four hours to open the clinic at 8 AM, and staying out to make sure Leigh fully sobers up is far from feasible. Leigh appears exhausted, her eyes heavy, even as she tries to muster a smile.

“Listen, Leigh,” you say, eyeing a practical solution. “I have an early start tomorrow, and you look like you need some rest. How about you crash at my place tonight? You can sleep it off and head home in the morning when you’re feeling better.”

Leigh seems to consider this for a moment, her gaze drifting towards the street where groups of men glance their way as they pass by. Finally, she nods meekly, looking relieved.

“That sounds really good right now. My head feels heavy, and I just want to go to sleep,” she mumbles, letting out a weary sigh and rubbing her eyes. You help her to her feet and steady her as you both walk back to your car, which is fortunately parked nearby. Leigh curls up in the passenger seat, and you crack the windows to let in some fresh air.

Once home, you give Leigh some clothes to change into and then start setting up the couch for yourself, grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from the cupboard. As you turn back a while later, you see Leigh, in her slightly tipsy state, misinterpreting your preparations. She gives a small, tired smile and plops down onto the couch. Reacting quickly, you catch her just before she falls completely into it.

“W-What are you doing?” she whispers, surprised as she finds herself practically in your arms, half-carried in a bridal style.

You feel the heat rise from your cheeks to your chest, aware of how close she is. “This is for me,” you say, nodding towards the couch, “you’re taking the bed.”

To avoid any further confusion, you slowly lift her up, wrapping an arm securely around her waist as you guide her to your bedroom. Leigh’s head remains tucked in your neck, her body relaxed and yielding as you move.

“You really don’t have to do this,” she mumbles against your skin, though her tone suggests she’s grateful for your care. You don’t see the blush that has crept to her own cheeks, your eyes fixed straight ahead.

“It’s no trouble at all,” you assure her as you gently set her down on your bed. “Make yourself comfortable. The mattress’ much better for a good night's sleep.”

Leigh nods, pulling the covers around her. “Thank you,” she says, her voice soft and more sober now.

“Anytime,” you respond with a reassuring smile. “Good night, Leigh.” You close the bedroom door softly behind you and retreat to the couch. 

“Good night, Y/N…” Leigh whispers to herself, a faint smile touching her lips as she nestles deeper into the bed. 

[abimess]

Ok so you want a request! How about one with Leigh Shaw. So Leigh and r (female) have feelings for each other but Leigh, is being well... herself and won’t let it happen. So r starts to move on with someone else, so Leigh realizes her mistake and big love declaration ensues from a jealous Leigh making a scene. With happy ending, with a cherry on top, please.

Hi, anon! This was so fun to write, although I don’t know if I portrayed Leigh very well, she’s a very complex character, but I hope I did. Also, I know this title is huge but it’s the only one I could think of lol Anyway, hope you like it =)

Good reading!

Friends are not supposed to care with who their other friends go out with

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: It’s a fact that Leigh is a complete stubborn person. But what happens when her stubbornness almost makes her lose you?

Word count: 2.732

Warnings: angst (? idk maybe not); fluff

You do NOT have permission to repost or translate my work on any platforms (even with credit)

Masterlist | Library Blog (Read on: Wattpad)

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

Leigh Shaw is your friend.

That’s probably the sentence you repeat to yourself the most. You would say it when she laughed at one of your jokes, when she hugged you goodbye and her perfume would invade your senses, when she made you laugh with one of her sarcastic, unrequired comments. But mostly on moments like this one, when you were alone and thoughts of her took over your mind, causing you to smile like an idiot. Leigh Shaw is your friend, and there’s nothing you can do to change this fact.

Not that you haven’t tried, though. Almost two months ago Drew assigned you to help Leigh with her columns so she would send him the material on time. Leigh was not happy about it and she had no problem showing it in every opportunity she had. Drew had told you that the woman had been through a lot and could be hard to be around due to her temper, but he never told you she was almost a psychopath!

You were about to ask your editor to find someone else to help her when Leigh started to become way more friendly. The change of behavior came out of nowhere and you never asked the reason, too afraid that she would go back to the way she was and attack you with one of the chairs of the coffee shop.

After that, you and Leigh started to share really pleasant afternoons. She allowed you to know more about her, even if it was just a little, and you did the same. Soon you found out that Leigh’s sense of humor was pretty much like yours and that you had much more in common than you thought you would have. Also, both of your performances with your columns increased a lot and so Drew encouraged you to keep going with your meetings, what you had no problem doing.

Not after long, you found yourself longing for the next encounter and wanting to know more about Leigh.

“I was thinking…” You started one day, trying to sound as casual as you could. When Leigh hummed for you to go on, you did. “Maybe we could hang out sometime.”

“We are hanging out.” She retorted simply, her eyes never leaving the screen as she typed.

“No, I mean. Like, actually hang out.” You explained, beginning to stutter a little and Leigh finally looked at you. “Why?” her brows were frowned in confusion, a not-at-all amused expression on her face. “No reason, forget I asked.” You mumbled and turned your attention back to your notebook and Leigh did the same, not saying another word. And that’s how your first and last attempt to ask her out went.

You tried to stop, but the more you did, the more you fell for her. She definitely wasn’t helping. There would be days she would smile at you and give you all her attention, and there would be a tenderness in her eyes that would fill you with hope. And there would be days she would shut you off in any possible way, barely looking at you or answering your questions.

You remember one day you both were having one of the good days, when you would smile the whole way through and Leigh would place her hand softly on your shoulder as she spoke and you would melt to her touch. It was peaceful, it was good. Until it wasn’t.

“Hey, there!” a female voice that you didn’t recognize sounded next to you. Leigh was the first one to look, her smile faltering on her face as she assumed an apprehensive expression. You looked at the mysterious woman, trying to understand what was so intimidating about her presence but all you saw was a smiling woman that was a little younger than you.

“Hi, Jules. (Y/n), this is my sister Jules.” Leigh said stuttering a little and then shifting her gaze from you to the woman you now know is named Jules. “This is (Y/n), my coworker.” You offered your hand for Jules to shake, trying to ignore the hurt that settled in when Leigh said ‘coworker’.

“Nice to meet you, Jules” you said with a warming smile as she shook your hand. The younger woman had a knowing smile on her face as she answered “Nice to meet you, (Y/n). Leigh told me a lot about you.” You frown at her statement, not really sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Coming from Leigh, it could easily be any of them, maybe even both.

But before you could say anything else, Leigh immediately stood up, picking up her stuff in a clumsy way, as fast as she could. “Okay! We should go now.” She said, grabbing her sister by the arm and walking out of the coffee shop, not even bothering to say goodbye to you.

Being around Leigh was a vicious circle of ups and downs, and you were sure nothing would ever give you the strength to break it. Until one day something did.

“I slept with someone.” She said as soon as she got to the coffee shop a few days ago and you choked on your drink. “What?” you tried your best to repress the hurt on both your words and your expression.

She then excitedly told you about her amazing night with this dude in a hotel. You couldn’t care less. In fact, if you could, you would go deaf for the day only to not hear her speaking about it. But you couldn’t let it show. Because Leigh is your friend, and friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with. So you listen, smiling and nodding whenever you thought you were supposed to.  

You sigh running your fingers through your hair as those memories of Leigh overwhelm your mind. You have to move on. You can’t go on like this.

So, as if heaven had decided to be nice to you and sent you a sign, a notification pops on your phone and you give it a little smile when you see the name on your screen.

Emily is one of your friends from Basically News and she has been asking you out for a while now. Emily is fun, and funny and beautiful, but she is not Leigh so you always made up excuses for not going out with her. But maybe this time the universe was giving you a chance to move on, so when she asks you out for dinner on Saturday, you say yes.

 -----

 You and Leigh were working on your columns on her living room with Jules laying on the couch. It was a comfortable silence, eventually broken by Jules bringing up some random subject or by you and Leigh exchanging ideas for the website.

“We should do a Harry Potter marathon Saturday night” Jules suggests after the three of you spent a while discussing your Hogwarts houses. Leigh is a Slytherin, none of you had a single doubt about that. But apparently Jules is a Slytherin as well, what surprises you because you would say she was a Gryffindor, but maybe you didn’t know her well enough to make that statement. When you tell them your Hogwarts house, they both nod saying it was obvious and you chuckle. “You should stick around too, (Y/n)” she completes, poking you and you smile. “I can’t, I have a date.”  

“You have a what?” Leigh says immediately after you finish speaking, her brows raised in surprise and slight irritation. “I have a date. I’m going out with Emily.” Leigh sighs in annoyance, turning her attention back to her computer. “I can’t believe you’re going out with Emily.” She completes with disdain and it’s your turn to raise your brows.

“Why? Emily is a nice person. Besides, why do you care-”, “I don’t. In fact, I couldn’t care less about who you go out with.” She interrupts you and you clench your jaw, trying to ignore the bitter taste on your mouth put there by her words.

Leigh just gets up, looking nearly furious. “I gotta go. I have important stuff to do.” And she leaves, not saying another word to you or Jules, who had an amused expression the entire time.

“Well I guess the beast has awakened.” You joke and Jules chuckle. “It could’ve been worse. She could’ve strangled you with her notebook charger.” She retorts and you snort, giving her a half-hearted smile before getting up “I should go before she comes back and actually do it, then.”

Jules giggles before saying her goodbyes and you leave, not knowing what to think about that whole interaction.

 -----

 “I’m just saying that I don’t know what (Y/n) saw on Emily, that’s all” Leigh says in full annoyance.

It’s Saturday and she hates it. She hates that she’s about to start a Harry Potter marathon and you are not there. She hates that after that stupid afternoon she couldn’t stop thinking about you and your stupid date with Emily. She hates Emily. Doesn’t matter if she only talked to her, like, twice. She hates her, she has enough reasons to do so. She hates that you’re going out with her. She hates that you’re going out. She hates you. But the fact that she can’t actually hate you is what she hates the most.

“And you sure have many reasons for that because…” Jules said in a playful tone and with an amused smile as she checks her clock “… you have been just saying that for almost an hour now”.

Leigh rolls her eyes, grabbing some ingredients to prepare a smoothie. She didn’t even want a smoothie. But if preparing it meant she would keep her mind minimally occupied then she would drink the damn smoothie.

“I have no idea what you mean” She says, trying to sound as indifferent as she could as she chops the ingredients with way more strength than it’s necessary. “(Y/n) is my friend, I just don’t want her to go out with some boring, stupid girl, that’s all”.

“Of course” Jules says leaning in on the kitchen counter, the amused smile never leaving her face. “No one would never want that for a friend.”

“You shouldn’t be testing my patience while I have a knife on my hands” Leigh retorts with her brows raised in irritation, pointing the item to her sister.  

“No murdering on my kitchen” Leigh heard her mother saying as she walked in to get herself a glass of water.

“Hey, mom, do you know that girl Leigh has a crush on?” Jules asks taunting, her eyes never leaving her sister’s. Leigh sighs. If her anger keeps growing the way it is, she will commit a crime.

“(Y/n)?” Her mother says without hesitation causing Jules to giggle and Leigh rolls her eyes, sighing in irritation “Oh, come on, not you too!”  

“Oh, honey, don’t get me wrong, but it is pretty obvious…” Her mother starts but Leigh just turns the blender at full power, turning to face the other two with a taunting expression and a sneering tone “Sorry, ladies, I’m not hearing you.” Leigh turns back to face the blender, not seeing the knowing smiles the other two exchanged. She tries to focus on the smoothie, but her mind is far away with thoughts of you.

Maybe her mother and Jules were right. Maybe friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with.

-----

 She had enough. It’s almost 8pm now and the only thing Leigh has done was think of you, not giving a damn about the movie on the TV. And she had enough. Leigh gets up and rush to her room to change her clothes. She thinks Jules called her, but she had no time to answer.

“What are you doing?” Jules asks with frowned brows and an amazed smile when she finally came back, heading to the front door. “I’m going for a walk.” Leigh retorts, well aware that her clothes were not for exercising, but Jules just nods, amused. “I see… Good luck on your walk.” Jules says, but Leigh is already out, heading towards her car and to your house.

“Fuck” she mumbles after knocking on your door for the fourth time, realizing you’re already gone. You and your stupid, adorable punctuality. Leigh lets out a deep sigh and turns around, cursing herself for what she’s about to do.

 -----

 This is wrong.

You’re talking and eating and laughing, but this is wrong. Emily is not Leigh and that’s the only thing you can think of. You’re about to tell Emily you can’t do this and that you’re sorry when a voice by your side startles you.  

“Can we talk?” Leigh asks, not even bothering to say hi or to acknowledge Emily’s presence. You look at her, shock clear on your face as you wonder how she knew where you were and why the hell she’s here, but you can’t manage to ask any of those things.

“Why… how…”, “You told me this was your favorite restaurant so I figured… Can we talk?” She asks again sounding more anxious and impatient than before, and you try not to smile at her explanation, not believing she paid attention to that.

You nod and excuse yourself from Emily. Leigh just walks ahead of you. You follow her cautiously and she only turns to face you when you’re out of the restaurant.

“What are you doing?” She asks, pointing at the restaurant, and you raise your brows “What am I doing? What are you doing?” You breathe, trying to control your irritation. She couldn’t play you like this anymore. “Why are you here, Leigh?”

She impassively scans your face in silence and you sigh impatiently. “Look, if you came all your way here just to stare at me I’ll have to-”, “Do you even like her?” She interrupts you and you straighten your posture, surprised.  

“What?” you ask and Leigh clench her jaw, shifting the weight on her feet, apprehensive “Emily. Do you even like her?”

“I thought you didn’t care.” You retort and watch as tears start to form on Leigh’s angry eyes “Well I do care. I care a lot, actually. Maybe more than I should.”

“Why?” You ask defensively, her answer definitely caught you unguarded. Leigh lets out a dry laugh, running her fingers through her hair. “God, you’re so stupid. And annoying, and oblivious and beautiful and caring. And the way I can’t stop thinking about you is infuriating. And the fact that you’re here, going on a date with someone else drives me mad!”

She’s poking your chest and talking way too loud, making the people around you turn their curious gazes to the scene but you couldn’t care less. Your attention was completely on Leigh and on the things she was telling you.

You think you should say something, but soon Leigh is speaking again, and what she says next gets you frozen in place. “And I love you. That’s why.” She locks her eyes on yours looking for an answer and frowns in anger when she doesn’t get one. “Won’t you say something? Don’t stand there staring at me. Do something!”

She demands and you do the only thing your body allows you to do. You place your hands on Leigh’s cheeks and lean in, connecting your lips together. Leigh startle at your sudden action, but it takes less than a second for her to respond to the kiss, placing her hands on your waist, grabbing the cloth of your clothes tightly as if to not let you go.

As your mouths wander together, you feel the whole tension from the last months leaving your body. There’s no more doubt, no more fear or hurt. There’s only happiness and peace and harmony.

You don’t want to break the kiss, but the two of you are smiling too much, making it hard to keep going. “I love you, too” You whisper after you move away, resting your foreheads together. Leigh giggles happily and you can’t help but smile, your heart warming up at your favorite sound in the entire world.  

You know you have to go back inside and apologize to Emily. But right now it’s just you and Leigh, and nothing else matters.

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

And that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it, thoughts and comments are always welcome ツ

Taglist: @yuhloversxx @madamevirgo @an-evergreen-rose @helloalycia @wandas1mp @cantcontroltheirfear @diaryoflife (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

[gingiesworld]

Y/N: You're not going to be sad forever.

Leigh: What?

Y/N: I intend to make you smile everytime I see you. (Walks into the door on their way out.)

[wellsayhelloaagin]

Ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔ≣ Ｇｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ

↪ Requests

⇢ You can make requests through a DM or an ask

⇢ Please check the request status to see if they are open. This can be found on my navigation post and in my bio

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↪Characters I write for

Marvel

⇢ Wanda Maximoff

⇢ Natasha Romanoff

⇢ Other characters may be considered upon request

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⇢ Taylor Sloane

⇢ Jane Banner

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⇢ I will write for (list may change over time): angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, smut: sex toy use, choking, praise/degradation kinks, multiple characters, exhibition kink, dubcon, dark!character/reader, bondage, overstimulation

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⇢ If there is anything you are unsure about or that isn't included above, please ask for clarification

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic