#Like that is...it is so discounting a womans right to her own body

[freebooter4ever]

This is 1000% random but came to mind regarding the duck movie. I sometimies watch movies without sound if I think they might ~suck~ like that... so just a tip if you want to see it but not sort of experience it :D hahahha

heh, well. ive already seen it fully so the damage has been done. i bought it even, thinking i would want to rewatch it, but i really REALLY dont think i will. ever. i have watched a LOT of bad movies for my stupid infatuations over the years so honestly im used to it.

[blissfullyapillow]

A beauty that transcends the Sakura Blooms

A beauty that transcends the Sakura Blooms

Genshin Impact

Kamisato Ayato x female reader

wc: 10,128~

Notes: fluff with spice because that’s my special formula (lmao), self indulgent (at this point what isn’t?), black/mixed reader, reader is mentioned to have small hands, reader is eluded to be shorter than Ayato, I wrote this inspired by a tiktok I saw talking about how black readers are typically portrayed in fanfics lol, self love is an avenue to personal growth and new opportunities <3 

Back to Main Masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Living a peaceful life as a black individual in Teyvat is easier said than done. Being black is not the only part of my ethnicity, but my skin color and black identity is the first and most essential aspect of myself that others see first. 

I’ve traveled to many nations, and the piercing stares have become the norm for me. It makes blending in difficult, but over time I’ve come into my own and developed my self esteem, so I no longer care for the curious glances in my direction. 

Although, having self confidence doesn’t make the insensitive questions any easier to hear. People have asked me, “Why is your skin color brown?” or “Why is your hair like that?” I’ve even heard people make passing comments like, “I’m surprised her hair isn’t braided” and “Oh my, her skin is so exotic, I want to touch her hair.” One of the most interesting comments I’ve received was, “Wow, your lips are so full. I’ve never kissed a woman with full lips before. How about you be my first?” 

…

I think that one speaks for itself. 

I shake my head as I focus my attention on the task at hand. Currently, I’m in Inazuma browsing through the various dyes at Ogura Textiles & Kimonos. I tend to buy dyes, kimonos, and high end silks from Ogura Mio, the shop owner. 

The first time I stopped by to find materials for my next project, I overheard her talking about “new” dyes with a blonde traveler and floaty.. thing. 

After the interesting duo left I asked her if I could try one of her “new” dyes, but she refused. I convinced her by agreeing to trade silk flowers from Liyue, since at that time the sakoku decree was still in effect which put a strain on outsourcing. She agreed to this trade deal, and ever since then I’ve been a regular with my usual haul of silk flowers. 

“Oh, Name! You’re back! I have a new dye to show you and- oh Name, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t need you to bring me silk flowers anymore?” Ogura scolds me like an old friend, but she gratefully takes the flowers from my small hands. In return, she completes our usual exchange with a new batch of her experimental dyes. 

I spot a beautiful hue of blue in the pile, and I’m sure my face reflects my obvious excitement. “Do you need any silks? You’re my only customer who gets a special discount, so make sure to put it to use!” I eagerly eye the new silks Ogura has in stock, and I pick out a natural white shade of silk. I make sure to get a feel for the silk before purchasing it, and I thank Ogura for her dyes and her business. 

“No worries Name, we’re friends, you know. Now, let me know how the dye turns out so I can…” Ogura’s eyes widen like saucers, and her voice comically dies mid sentence. I snort at her expression and open my mouth to tease her, but before the words can escape my lips a voice from behind interrupts me.

“My, it certainly seems business is booming for you.” Wait a minute.

My eyes widen as I make eye contact with Ogura. She raises her eyebrows in shock before she fixes her expression to be less comical. As she addresses the man behind me I feel my heart skip more than a few beats.

There’s no way she’s talking to the person I think it is, right?

I hold my breath before I slowly turn my body to glance at the man. His light blue hair reflects the beaming sun above us as his eyes roam over the various silks and dyes offered by Ogura. I almost can’t believe my luck. The esteemed Kamisato Ayato, or Lord as I should say, is here in the flesh. My cheeks flush as I gratefully take in his natural beauty.

Ayato turns to look at the kimonos, and his purple eyes temporarily meet mine. My cheeks instantly heat up as I freeze in place. I notice the soft chuckle he lets out as he sends a wink in my direction before his eyes return to their previous target. 

Oh, my heart.

I silently will myself to calm down and stop being so awkward when Ayato speaks up. “Would it be alright if I request a custom order?” Ayato’s question shocks not only the shop owner but me as well. 

Ogura, you’re so lucky!

Ogura looks a bit conflicted as she ponders her answer. “I’d love to, but I already have a lot of custom orders for the upcoming festival. I can do a custom order for you, but it may take a bit longer than you’d like Lord Kamisato.” Ogura apologetically bows, but Ayato’s small smile remains on his pretty lips. “It’s alright, no worries.” His simple response dictates the end of the conversation. 

Ogura looks remorseful as I watch her mind work a mile a minute. Her eyes scan the faces of people out and about before they land on me, and her eyes light up.

Oh no. No.

My palms sweat as I aggressively shake my head ‘no’ at her, but she dismisses my concerns. “Lord Kamisato, if you’re interested I know a friend who can fulfill your custom order with the finest of silks. Actually, she just bought silks that I’m sure will suit your tastes.” My feet are rooted to the spot as Ayato takes great interest in her words. “Oh? I’d be delighted to meet them.” With that, I turn on my heel in an attempt to make a break for it.

Ogura knows me all too well and is one step ahead, as I feel her arm link with mine as she all but drags me back to her shop, right in front of Kamisato Ayato- or well, Lord Ayato- no wait, Lord Kamisato. My eyes nervously trail over his elegant clothes until they meet his eyes. My observations were brief, but his clothing seems like a fusion of traditional Inazuma clothing and a suit, an item of clothing I’ve seen on my travels to other nations. 

Ayato smiles gratefully in my direction, and he moves a bit closer to study the silk and dye in my arms. I feel flustered with his body so close to mine. I try to calm my rapid, pounding heart with subtle deep breaths. “Ah, I see. Yes, this silk will do, and the dyes look splendid. Of course, this is all only if you are willing to accept my commission…” Ayato looks at a loss for words as his eyes suddenly look into mine, silently asking for my name, and I hope my nerves aren’t as obvious as they feel. I open my mouth to offer my name, but my nerves hinder my ability to respond.

“Name!” Ogura offers my name for me, and Ayato’s eyes shine with a mischievous glint. 

Hmm, what is this man planning?

“Ah, I see. Well Name, it would be my honor if you accept my custom commission.” Ayato ceremoniously bows in front of me, and some onlookers look at us in awe. I feel embarrassed and way more elated than I should. 

It takes me a moment to respond, but once I do I nod my head in compliance. He curiously tilts his head, no doubt wanting verbal confirmation, and I swear to the Archons if this isn’t the one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen I’ll personally confiscate my vision. 

“Yes! The honor would be mind, Lord Aya- Lord Kamisato!” I embarrassingly correct myself quickly, and bow my head so he can’t see my flushed cheeks. It’s silent for a moment, and I don’t dare raise my head. Ayato’s sweet laughter cuts through the awkward atmosphere, and Ogura isn’t far behind as her own laughter reaches my ears. 

I slowly raise my head and admire the beautiful expression of joy on Ayato’s pretty features. His melodious laughter gradually calms before his eyes gleam in amusement. “Name, you’re an interesting individual. Thank you for accepting my commission. I will reward you with a generous amount Mora once the commission is complete.” In an unexpected action, Ayato moves closer to me and extends one of his partially gloved hands in my direction.

I watch with intense rapture as Ayato gently holds my free hand in his. Ayato gently leans down to press a chaste kiss against the back of my hand, and Archons know it’s taking every fiber of my being not to show how flustered his actions are making me feel. 

My eyes catch Ogura’s wide ones, and although her eyes express shock she’s quick to change her tune and give me two cheeky thumbs up. 

I giggle at that. 

Ayato raises his head to look into my eyes and I admire the resolve that I see swirl within his mesmerizing orbs. 

“Thank you, Name. If you don’t mind, would you accompany me to the Kamisato Estate? Time is of the essence, after all.” Ayato’s words ooze refined elegance and charm, and I find myself agreeing with his words instead of denying his request like I want to.

It’s not like I don’t want to go to the Kamisato Estate, but this is all so sudden! THE Kamisato Ayato is in front of me right now, smiling and actually talking to me, and he even kissed my hand!

In all honesty, I expected him to dismiss me once his eyes roamed my figure. I thought he would turn his head away in disgust as he inevitably looked elsewhere for a commission from someone with a lighter skin tone. 

“Wonderful. If you’ll excuse us, Miss Ogura. Thank you for your business and for the delightful referral.” After a swift exchange of bows between Ayato and Ogura, Ayato leads me to the infamous Kamisato Estate. 

As I pass Ogura I mouth my thanks. I also use the opportunity to express my shock with what I’m sure is an incredulous look on my face.

She simply sends a wink in my direction with a silent “good luck” in reply.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The trip to the Kamisato Estate is a leisurely one, and this is reflected in the hues of orange and purple displayed with the setting sun. The scenery around us is bathed in a beautiful golden glow, and I admire the golden rays' majestic glow on my skin.

I have to admit, my arms are getting a bit tired from holding all of my materials. Despite this, I refuse to voice my concerns to the Lord mere inches ahead of me. “Name, are your arms tired? I can hold your silks and dyes for you.” My head shoots up to look at Ayato in pure disbelief. 

Ayato chuckles at my expression as I scramble for a reply. “...Can you read minds?” I cautiously pose my question. Ayato blinks owlishly at me for a moment before his melodic laughter graces my ears yet again.

He wordlessly removes the materials from my tired hands, making sure to take it slow in case I rather keep my things to myself. I let him remove the silks and dye from my arms with no resistance. “Thank you, Aya- Lord Kamisato.” I graciously voice my appreciation. Ayato hums to himself for a moment before he voices another question. “Name, what’s your first and last name?” I feel my cheeks warm and I hope he isn’t getting ready to scold me for being improper. Maybe I should start referring to him as Lord Kamisato in my mind so I stop slipping up when I talk to him.

I make sure to speak up before I’m silent for too long. “Name L/N.” I reply. I carefully watch his expression, and it morphs into one of genuine intrigue. “Ah, I see. Such a lovely name for a charming lady such as yourself. Name, if it’s alright with you, may I continue to call you Name? I happen to like how it sounds.” Ayato’s genuine compliment fills me with joy. I’m glad he seems to be accepting of my unexpected last name rather than close minded..

“Of course! I apologize for slipping up with my formalities, Lord Kamisato. It’s very rude of me.” I bashfully apologize to Ayato as I make sure to keep pace with him by his side. Ayato thoughtfully looks off in the distance, and I follow his gaze to what I’m sure is the Kamisato Estate. 

Ayato speaks up, and when I turn to look at him his intense gaze makes it hard for me to look away. “Normally that would be considered rude, but since I’ve been referring to you by your first name all this time I believe it is only right that you refer to me by mine. You may call me Lord Ayato if you wish, but Ayato is just fine.” My jaw drops as I lose my footing, and Ayato is quick to reach a hand out to steady me before I eat dirt. 

Literally.

I quickly regain my balance. Once I’ve steadied myself, I notice that Ayato skillfully maneuvered all of my materials to his other arm in order to catch me before I fell. 

I also notice that Ayato still hasn’t let go of my arm. 

I feel his eyes on me as I attempt to control my erratic breathing from my near fall. “Sorry.” I mumble. “No worries. Although, I think it’d be wise if I continue to hold onto you. We can’t have you almost falling again.” I look on curiously, wondering what he means by that, and a feeling of bliss explodes in my chest as his gloved hand slowly trails down my arm until they rest against the back of my empty hand.

His hand moves to intertwine with mine. He begins walking again, so I have no choice but to follow. I intently stare at our intertwined hands for the remaining duration of our walk.

I fail to quell the incessant flame that colors my cheeks red. I can only hope he doesn’t catch sight of my burning cheeks.

Although I’m beyond elated at this turn of events, it’s hard for me to believe Ayato doesn’t have any ulterior motives behind his actions. Ayato not only accepted a commission from someone whose skills he knows little about, but he kissed my hand and invited me to the Kamisato Estate, all on day one. On top of that, he’s allowing me to call him by first name.

What is this? A fanfic?

I let that absurd thought leave my mind as Ayato and I finally reach the Kamisato Estate. 

Hopefully I can get answers as I complete Ayato’s commission.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Ah, milord! You’re back. Just in time for dinner- oh? Who’s this?” I look at the cheerful blonde man in front of me, and his welcoming energy helps to ease the tension in my muscles.

“Ah, Thoma. Thank you, I’ve found someone to fulfill that commission I mentioned to you earlier.” Ayato looks at me in lieu of gesturing in my direction as both of his hands are occupied. For some reason, we’re still holding hands as he has yet to let go.

Thoma, supposedly the cheerful blonde man in front of us, catches sight of our intertwined hands as his eyes glance in my direction. 

A spark of recognition flashes in his eyes, and he sends a dazzling smile in my direction. “Oh, welcome! Since you’re here, why don’t you join us for dinner? Lucky for you, I made extra today.” Thoma’s smile dispels any anxious thoughts I would have, although his recognition doesn’t escape my watchful eyes. 

“Thank you Thoma.” I smile at him, and Thoma returns my smile with a cute laugh. “Well, if you’ll excuse us.” Ayato leads me away, and I wave a temporary farewell to Thoma as I’m guided through the halls of the Kamisato Estate until Ayato leads me into an empty room. 

I gasp as I take in the beautiful interior design of the room. Ayato slowly lets go of my hand as he sets my materials down on a lengthy table in the center of the room. “I apologize for bringing you here so suddenly, but I’d appreciate it if this commission was completed sooner rather than later. If it is alright with you, my retainers can arrange a change of clothes and a bath for you. You may stay in this room for as long as you wish, but I ask that you reside here in the Estate as you work on your commission. That way, you can take all the measurements you need and make adjustments with ease as you progress.” As Ayato relays this information to me, I admire his form as he sits down on the floor below.

I follow suit and sit down across from him. His watchful eyes observe my form.“Of course, I understand. This is honestly a lot, but I’m really thankful for this opportunity so… Thank you. Although, I am curious since you have yet to tell me, and I hope you don’t mind answering.. What exactly do you want me to commission for you?” I curiously eye him, and his calculating gaze catches my interest. 

“Well, I’d like to commission a kimono from you, for myself. I hope that is acceptable.” My eyes widen in surprise, and a giddy giggle slips past my lips before I can stop it. No way! I can finally make a kimono for someone other than my small group of friends, and I’m getting paid for it! 

Wait, before all of that..

“Ayato- I mean, Lord Ayato… um, sorry. I want to ask you another question.” His eyes prompt me to continue, and so I do. “It seems as if Thoma knew something unspoken when you mentioned why I’m here, and your kindness towards me doesn’t make sense at all, considering I should be a complete stranger to you.” Ayato’s eyes glint, and he seems impressed by my astute observations.

“Well done, Name. I’m impressed. Those questions all have an answer, and in due time those answers will be revealed to you. I will return to this room to give you my measurements tomorrow, although if you’d like to begin earlier we may start after dinner.” With that, Ayato stands, but not before he gently brushes his hand against a wayward strand of my hair. 

I’m glad he turns away so he can’t see the goofy grin on my face.

I watch his graceful form leave the room, and I will my heart to slow its rapid march.

Almost immediately after he leaves I hear someone knock before they enter the room. It’s one of Ayato’s retainers, and I’m quickly whisked away for a bath and a comfortable change of clothes. Mere moments later, I find myself seated beside Ayato, Thoma, and Lady Ayaka for dinner.

I don’t even know where to begin, but my addled brain and hungry stomach can only muster enough energy to enjoy the delicious food before me, courtesy of Thoma’s skillful hands.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I approach Ayato privately after dinner and tell him to meet me in my room. His eyebrows raise and a tease smirk settles on his luscious lips. I realize my mistake, so I quickly backtrack before he can tease me about my suggestive choice of words.

Although, I wouldn’t mind being suggestive with the head of the Kamisato Clan.

Okay, I’m getting way too ahead of myself. 

With minimal teasing on Ayato’s end, I lead him to my temporary room. 

I’m elated when I return to my room to see measuring tape and all the necessary materials I need neatly organized across the center table. “Alright then Mr. Kamisato, are you ready for this?” My confidence finally presents itself as I’m now in my element, ready to get to work.

Ayato chuckles in amusement as he dutifully follows my instructions.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I have to admit, being close to Ayato like this in nothing but his undergarments is really doing things to me. I know I need to be professional right now, so although I want to admire his physique I focus my attention on acquiring the numbers I need to work on his commission.

It isn’t long before I finish, quite used to this process and Ayato was pleasantly still for me. 

I raise myself up after measuring the length of his legs, and I ask if it’s okay if I finish off by measuring his bust and waist. As I gauge his reaction, I’m blessed with the sight of his flushed cheeks. A rare sight, I’m sure.

Ayato awkwardly coughs before he nods, giving me the go ahead. I cautiously move in closer in case he wants to back out.

That time never comes, and it isn’t long before I’m finished with everything. “All right Ayato, you can get dressed again-” A muffled sound of surprise escapes me when I accidentally slip on the measuring tape whose length reaches the floor below.

I stumble back into Ayato, and I feel his firm chest against my back as his arms wrap around my frame to steady me. “You appear to be quite the klutz, Name.” I abhor the laughter I can hear in his voice, so I turn around to refute his accurate claim. “For your information, Lord Ayato, I’m sleepy and tired right now. I know you need this commission finished as soon as possible so I wanted to get your measurements tonight, but that doesn’t mean I…” My words get caught in my throat when my eyes raise to catch a glimpse of his face.

His purple eyes are burning flames as they travel across the expanse of my face, and I hate how ecstatic I feel as his eyes trail a bit lower, before returning to my face. “You perv, what are you looking at?” I mumble. Ayato hums, and I have to tear my eyes away from his intense stare. “Name, you’re the one fully clothed. If anything, you’re the perv. You were awfully close to my waist you know? You even had your hands all over my person.” I chuckle in disbelief at Ayato’s choice of words.

Ayato laughs at my befuddled expression, and he pulls me in closer. I relish the feeling of his warm skin against me as I close my eyes in content. 

I know I should pull away and conduct myself in a professional manner, but… this feels nice.

Ayato’s laughter dies down after a few moments, and a comfortable silence envelops us. I keep my eyes shut, unintentionally drifting off to sleep. “Name?” Ayato's husky voice simultaneously arouses me and makes me sleepier. “Hm?” I softly reply. 

He’s silent, and I can feel the rise and fall of his chest against my own. Soon, I really am on the verge of being lulled to sleep. I feel his body shift against me, and soon his arms are around me as his breath fans against the shell of my ear. 

“Thank you for your accommodating attitude, Name. May the Shogun bless you with dreams that reflect the beauty of the sakura blooms.” I swear he presses a kiss to my ear before he pulls away and carries me to the bed. 

Butterflies soar the open skies of my thumping heart, and in a breathless whisper his name falls from my lips.

I feel the way Ayato’s body stiffens, so I slowly open my eyes.

His purple orbs hold a softness I formerly believed they were incapable of holding, and in one swift movement he sets me down on my bed. “Rest well Name, I shall visit you in the morning.” I stare into his eyes, and almost as if we can read the other’s thoughts, we both lean towards the other.

I abruptly stop moving, surprised by my own actions. What has gotten into me? I don’t know this man, I know of him and his reputation, but not him. There’s no need to be hasty here, and in the first place I shouldn’t be thinking about my employer like this.

Ayato watches my movements with hooded eyes, and it seems he has an inkling of what my current thoughts are. He slowly leans forward to press a gentle kiss against my forehead. His hand hovers over my head, but he withdraws it before he whispers a cordial “goodnight” before he moves away. 

I shut my eyes as he dresses himself, and I hear his soft footsteps as he leaves.

It isn’t long before I drift off to sleep with more questions than answers and conflicting feelings fluttering around in my chest. 

Unbeknownst to me, Ayato was pressed up against the nearest wall outside, flushed  cheeks covered by his pretty hands. His closed eyes concealed the whirlwind of emotions that blew the soft petals of sakura blooms into the welcoming winds of his heart.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I had a surprisingly refreshing rest, and my dreams were unexpectedly sweet. Of course a certain blue haired lord was at the center of my dreams, but I think I’ll keep that tidbit to myself. 

My morning is more or less uneventful, as the same retainer from before brings me a change of clothes along with breakfast. It isn’t long before I continue working on Ayato’s kimono.

I ask the retainer if I can see Ayato whenever he is available, and the retainer dutifully leaves to deliver my message. Minutes later, Ayato knocks before entering my room.

“Oh! You’re here earlier than I expected. I won’t take much of your time. I just wanted to know what your favorite color is.” I wait for his response to reach my ears as I mull over the array of dyes I have to choose between, including the ‘new’ blue dye I acquired from Ogura. 

“You’re my favorite color.” My head shoots up and my ears pound as I take in Ayato’s fond expression that’s blatantly directed at me. He moves to sit beside me, and he carefully observes the array of dyes spread out before us. 

I heard that incorrectly, right?

It isn’t long before Ayato hands me the dye of his choice, and of course it’s the ‘new’ blue dye I picked out with Ogura. He picks a second option, an elegant deep hue of purple that graces my eyes. “Ooh, I can work with this! Thanks, Ayato. I know you’re busy so you can leave now. I’m going to get to work.” With that, I begin to work on Ayato’s Kimono.

He stays for a while and watches the process before he stands up to leave, wishing me a pleasant farwell. I finally let out the breath I was holding as my face explodes in a beautiful burst of red.

I would’ve believed I heard his earlier statement incorrectly if he hadn’t whispered the words again in my ear, flustering me all over again.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Three hours of peace pass before I hear another knock. I place my work in progress down on the table as I stand up and stretch. I voice a greeting, and lo and behold Ayato walks through the door with a stack of papers in his hands. 

As I stretch my legs I watch him walk into the room with obvious intrigue. He wordlessly makes his way over to the lengthy table I was previously working at. He sets his paperwork down on it before he joins me in stretching. I eye the way his arms stretch above his head, and the satisfied sigh that escapes those pretty lips as his stretch comes to a conclusion.

I admire him for a moment longer before his eyes flutter open, and I quickly avert my gaze in hopes of not getting caught staring. I finish my stretch before I return to the table, but not without catching Ayato's knowing smirk as I walk past him.

Ugh, whatever. 

Once I’m comfortable I continue where I left off. Ayato sits himself down beside me. It takes a moment, but Ayato takes a single sheet of paper from the large pile of papers he brought in. He sits up as he carefully reads it over, pen in hand. 

I come to the sudden realization that he brought all of his paperwork with him to visit me; He fully intends to do his paperwork beside me as I work on his kimono. 

I ignore the flip of joy my heart does as I focus my attention on completing Ayato’s commission.

I pretend I don’t notice the way Ayato subtly moves closer to me.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I allow a yawn to escape as I safely store my work in progress. Ayato only has a paper or two left to sign, and I’ve made decent headway on his kimono. I have to say I adore the contrast of the beautiful blue hue to the natural white silk of the kimono. I’m taking creative liberty with the design, so it’s taking me a bit longer than anticipated to precisely sew intricate blue camellias along the kimono. 

Despite the intricacy of the design I’m sewing, it should only take another measly two hours to finish, three at most. Actually, I should relay this information to Ayato. 

I turn around to do just that, but I wind up staring at Ayato as he reads the words on the paper in front of him. His brows are furrowed, and whatever’s written on the paper is clearly causing an internal dilemma for him. 

Okay, I’m a bit curious..

I return to my previous position beside Ayato, and I sit down beside him. He doesn’t say anything, but one of his hands gently reaches over to rest on top of mine. I ignore how delightful his hand feels on mine in favor of stealing a nosy glance at the paper he’s reading.

I catch a glimpse of the word ‘marriage’ and I abruptly look away. 

Marriage was not the word I expected to see. I feel my cheeks burn as I imagine this isn’t the first time Ayato’s received a letter like that. Why did I think for even a moment that- “Name, I apologize to ask this of you after you graciously agreed to my previous request, but may I ask something else of you?” I feel Ayato’s hand gently curl around mine, and although I know I should pull my hand away I curl mine around his in reciprocation. 

“Yes, you may.” Is my verbal response. I study Ayato’s handsome features, and I take joy in the noticeable way his eyes soften at the sound of my voice. “I originally needed a Kimono for the upcoming festival, but now there seems to be a delightful change in plans, if you will permit.” My eyebrows raise in curiosity, and as a prompt for him to continue. 

Ayato smooths a gloved thumb over the back of my hand, and I watch as he clearly contemplates his next words.

“To be frank, I’m quite tired of all these marriage proposals, and it just so happens a suitable candidate is already by my side. So, if you would do me the honor..”

My mind struggles to process Ayato’s words as he turns his body to face me, and he tenderly grapes both of my hands in his. 

Bashful doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. I avert my eyes so I don't fall prey to his captivating features, especially his stupid beauty mark.

Ayato leans in close to my ear to whisper against it, “Name, look at me.” I take a steadying breath before obliging his request, and the emotion that swirls in his eyes inadvertently makes me squeeze his hands. He squeezes mine back before he finally voices his additional request.

“Would you do me the honor of being my wife?” My entire body explodes and I’m sure I’m unfortunately as red as a shiny red apple. Ayato studies my reaction for a moment before he bursts into laughter. My heart sinks, thinking he’s toying with me, but before I can remove my hands from his he tightens his grip on my hands as he pulls me against him.

I let out a yelp of surprise as I fall against him. He laughs as his arms wrap me in a hug. “Pardon my bad manners, but your face was utterly adorable. Yes, I want you to be my wife, but only for the night. If rumors circulate about me having a fiance, these pesky proposals will all but disappear from the incessant pile of paperwork I must look over.” 

I contemplate his words, and although the word ‘temporary’ and the fact he is indirectly using me leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, I decide to agree on one condition. “I’ll be your ‘fiance’ under the condition that you tell me the real reason you asked me of all people to sew your kimono.” I look up to see the way Ayato’s eyes reflect genuine excitement and subtle surprise. 

“My, insistent aren’t you? Alright, I agree to those terms.” Ayato loosens his hold on me, giving me the opportunity to escape his arms if I should choose. I remain in his arms and lean my head against his chest. Ayato hums a tune to himself as he holds me against him. 

“I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to you if I say I may have had some… influence on how we met.” My eyes widen, and my heart pounds against my chest. I honestly suspected as much, as things had gone a little too smoothly with someone as high caliber as the head of the Yashiro Commission. 

“I will mention I’ve seen sparse glances of you around Inazuma, and you have piqued my interest. Not for the ill intent you may be thinking, I assure you, but for other reasons I do not wish to divulge. Not today, at least.” I can’t help but giggle a little at how sheepish that last sentence sounded, and Ayato awkwardly coughs to cover up what I’m sure is a bit of embarrassment.

“Regardless, I have been eager to get to know you personally, and our meeting at Ogura Textiles and Kimonos was just a wonderful event ordained by fate. Does this answer satisfy your curiosity?” Ayato slowly runs a hand along my back as he waits for my response. 

Honestly, it does, but I still have one question. “Why did you want to get to know me?” My words come out a little strained, and I hope he doesn’t question it. As much as I’ve enjoyed my time at the Kamisato Estate, I would hate to realize a man of such power only intended to use me. I’ve endured enough mistreatment from others already.

“Oh dear, it seems I’ve only managed to distress you instead of alleviate your concerns. Alright then, I’ll be completely transparent with you.” Ayato gently places his hands on my shoulders before he slowly pulls me back to look at him. I tentatively look into his elegant purple orbs as he speaks. 

“Do you recall a kimono you sold through Ogura? A furisode kimono with a Same Komon pattern?” I quickly rack my brain. 

A furisode kimono? I previously sold some of my designs through Ogura, which she gave me the mora for, just to see how well my designs would be perceived with the people of Inazuma. Fortunately, they sold out rather quickly, and one of the customers was a sweet young lady who returned to Ogura Textiles and Kimonos just to relay her thanks. 

Oh, wait, that same young lady was the one who bought the furisode kimono I made. From what I remember she was very pretty, kind, and well mannered. ..Now that I think about it, she resembled Ayato in many ways. 

“Yes, I remember. A respectful young lady personally gave me her thanks after buying the kimono. Why? Do you happen to know her-” Suddenly the words die in my throat and my eyes widen in realization. Ayato smiles at me since I finally put two and two together.

“That young lady is my younger sister, Kamisato Ayaka. Remember we had dinner together? Honestly, I learned of you and your work through her. I thought I’d catch a glimpse of the person who made Ayaka’s kimono, so I attempted to locate you. I used some outside help, but I managed to catch sight of you walking the streets of Inazuma. I have to say, when I saw you for the first time you were truly breathtaking, and a beautiful sight to behold.” Ayato all but gushes his admiration of my work and my perceived beauty, and I may as well be putty in his hands.

“O-Oh…” Is all I can shyly mutter. Ayato gently trails a hand down my arm as he silently gauges my expression. “I see, that makes a lot more sense. I’m so sorry for being suspicious of you, I’ve just had a lot of bad experiences with others across the nations and I..” I gulp and take a moment to catch my breath, as the delicate emotions I’m feeling cause my voice to waver. Ayato traces unknown shapes on my arm, and remains a comforting presence as I gather myself. 

“I just don’t want to be hurt again.” I whisper. “I understand.” Is his compassionate murmur of perception.

Although it’s silent afterwards, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I usually brush off offensive comments made about me, and I’m used to suppressing my feelings in order to cope with the many stressors of life. Some of those daily stressors are things that others will never experience in their lifetime. 

So to hear genuine understanding and empathy in two simple words, well…

I truly feel that he understands what I mean. 

I close my eyes as I rest my head against his chest yet again, and he happily complies with my actions. “Ayato…” I breathe. “Hm?” He hums in question.

“I’ll happily be your wife.”

His hand pauses its soothing motions on my back, and I can feel more than hear the way his breath hitches as his chest stills on inhalation.

A beat passes before he exhales. His free hand trails down my arm to hold my smaller hand in his bigger one. 

“I’d love nothing more.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Ayato, aren’t I just pretending to be your wife?” The only response Ayato offers to my question is a muffled “yes” against the juncture of my neck.

I shiver as his breath fans across my sensitive neck, but I make no effort to move.

I can hear the gentle pitter patter of the rain outside as Ayato comfortably snuggles against me.

“Wouldn’t this be deemed ‘inappropriate behavior’ by your retainers?” I ask. “It doesn’t matter, I am perfectly able to comprehend and make my own decisions.” Ayato gives me a response that isn’t muffled this time.

With a blissful sigh, I finally relax against him as he pulls me impossibly closer to him. 

Our limbs are tangled together on my bed. Ayato visited my room earlier, and after a few swift knocks he entered my room and plopped himself down beside me.

I was still groggy and not fully awake yet, so I didn’t completely register everything that was happening as I welcomed Ayato into my arms with a soft giggle.

I was tired.

And totally not thinking straight.

Despite that, this does feel nice. Being held like this.

I detest the way my heart beats a steady rhythm against my chest as I feel more at ease than I have over the past couple of days. “Isn’t today that fancy event thing you’re supposed to attend? With the kimono I sewed for you?” I gently run my hands through the light blue strands of Ayato’s hair, and he releases a dreamy sigh against my neck.

“Yes, but that doesn’t occur until later, and that is where you will be presented as my fiance.” My hands suddenly stop moving through his hair. Ayato grumbles disapprovingly at this. He reaches up and uses his hand to guide mine in continuing their former movements.

“W.. Wait, but aren’t I supposed to be trained for that? What if I say something wrong or I make a bad impression? I don’t want it to affect you or your reputation..” I verbally voice my concerns, but Ayato doesn’t reply. 

“Ayato, I’ll continue if you respond.” Ayato’s response is quick after my words reach his pink tinted ears.

“You do not need to worry yourself over something so miniscule, Name. Whether they like you or not is none of your or my concern. From what I’ve seen of you over the course of these past few days, I have no concerns. I’m sure that you’ll be able to handle yourself just fine. You naturally conduct yourself in a manner that is suitable to be my fiance.” Ayato’s words subdue my anxious thoughts, but they have the added side effect of making me blush.

I resume running my fingers through his soft hair, and he hums in satisfaction. “You’re really clingy to someone you hardly know.” “Well, let’s change that.” “What do you-” I cut myself off as Ayato removes his head from my neck to send a charming smile in my direction. 

“You know my favorite color, but what is yours?” Ayato watches my face closely. “I, um, purple. I love the color purple, especially light purple. I like all shades of purple though.”  I answer. “Hmm. How lovely, purple is an elegant and graceful color. It is befitting for an individual such as yourself.”

“I swear to the Archons, Ayato!” I bashfully cover my mouth with my free hand as I look away, and I feel the way his chest rises and falls, pressed against mine, with his boisterous laughter. 

“Are you not used to such genuine compliments, Name?” Ayato teasingly trails a finger down my arm, and I refuse to look at what I know is a teasing smirk on his lips.

“W-Well yes, and um.. you’re really handsome, so hearing those words from someone like you is a dream come true. You’re a genuinely good person as well, so it’s kind of hard for me to believe that you can see me in that way.” I whisper. I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath before opening them again.

When I look at Ayato’s face, I’m graced with the presence of a pink blush on his cheeks. I pointedly look at his beauty mark that is oh so close to my face, and it takes a lot of willpower for me not to lean in and kiss it. 

I watch as Ayato awkwardly coughs in an attempt to cover his embarrassment, and that action is what leads me into a giggling fit.

How can this man tease me relentlessly, yet the moment I compliment him in return he’s a flustered, blushing mess?

I’m almost tempted to compliment him again, if only to see what other pretty expressions he can make.

Ayato continues to smile at me fondly as my laughing fit slowly dies down. 

My next action is honestly out of my control. I can’t help it when he’s smiling at me with such profound adoration in his eyes. 

I give in to the urge and quickly lean in to press a tender kiss against his beauty mark, and I gaze deeply into his eyes as I pull away.

He’s frozen for a moment.

Or two.

Before his entire face is redder than I’ve ever seen it as he sputters and tries to come up with something to say, only to be at a loss for words. 

“Ayato? Are you okay?” I jokingly ask him. 

It feels very empowering to know I can fluster him just as much as he flusters me.

Ayato covers the lower portion of his face with his bare hands. He looks at the bed in favor of looking at me. 

“Can you give me a second? I need a moment.” Ayato’s bashful words elicit a grin out of me. 

I watch in amusement as Ayato visibly takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to collect himself. “This is a sight I could get used to.” I tease. 

I lean my head against a propped hand, and Ayato’s eyes reluctantly follow the action.

A few moments later, Ayato shyly moves closer to me, and I allow him to wrap his arms around me yet again.

“Please speak of this to no one.” 

“No promises.”

“Name.”

“No promises.” 

I love the way he groans in acceptance as he chooses to bury his face in the juncture of my neck again. 

Oh, this is fun.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Don’t apologize.” “Sorry.” “Name.”

This is the fourth time tonight I've apologized. This time it was because I clumsily bumped into Ayato. 

I’ve been sticking to Ayato’s side like glue as he talks to various important figures of Inazuma, and I’m doing my best to remain calm under the pressure of so many judgemental stares.

Ayato has more or less been my rock throughout this entire evening, and I’m beyond grateful to him for it. I can’t help but think that I should show him how much I appreciate his guidance tonight in some way, granted he is the reason I’m in this situation to begin with. 

For some stupid reason the thought causes a perverted smirk to present itself on my face.

I quickly catch myself when Ayato turns to look at me, and his eyes widen at my expression. I wipe the smirk off my lips, but it’s too late.

A similar smirk to my previous one finds its way onto his pretty lips. I can’t help but notice the way his smirk lifts the cute beauty mark near his lips. 

Ayato leans down to whisper in my ear. My cheeks warm as his tall figure lowers to my height. “Wow, Name. I never imagined I’d see such a lecherous look on your face.” Ayato’s breath tickles the shell of my ear, and the feeling causes a pitiful whimper to escape me. I enjoy the way Ayato’s breath catches at the sound. 

Ayato and I are taking a breather in a secluded area so I’m not too worried about someone spotting us, although it’s still a possibility. 

Ayato brought me out into the empty halls earlier when he noticed my stiff shoulders, and the small act of his hands wrapping around mine as he led me away from the prying eyes of the crowd… well..

Let’s just say my heart skipped a few beats. 

And my eyes may have sparkled.

…

Anyway-

My mind is drawn back to the present when his nose grazes the skin of my neck. I let out a gasp at the feeling of his soft lips pressed against my neck. “Ayato-” I grasp the sleeve of his kimono in a futile attempt to ground myself. 

Ayato groans as his lips slowly trail sweet kisses down my neck. 

I jump when the sound of footsteps reach my ears, and my heart lurches.

This is super improper! It’ll be bad for Ayato if someone sees us like this.

“Ayato, someone’s-” The rest of my words are incomprehensible as Ayato gently sucks on a sensitive spot on my neck. Now both of my hands are gripping his kimono, and I hear a startled noise from a few feet away.

The sound of footsteps fade away, accompanied by an awkward cough. I almost care about the fact someone saw us like this, but I can hardly muster the energy to as Ayato’s lips cast a captivating spell on the skin of my neck. Ayato pulls away once the sound of footsteps can no longer be heard. 

Ayato tilts his head up to look into my eyes. “Name.” My name sounds hoarse on his lips, and his name escapes my own in a hushed whisper.

My body acts before my mind can catch up, and I find myself leaning into Ayato’s welcoming lips. Ayato’s groan reaches my ears once our lips finally meet, and the stress from this entire evening leaves my body as I melt into Ayato. 

Ayato’s arms wrap around me to gingerly hold me against him as his body all but sinks against mine.

Our lips mold together perfectly, and if I wasn’t so engrossed in the kiss I would feel embarrassed by the moan I let out.

Ayato’s hand slowly trails down my body until it rests against the small of my back. 

As much as I’m enjoying the kiss, my body’s demand for oxygen becomes too much. I gently tap Ayato’s shoulder for him to pull away, and he languidly breaks our kiss. 

Ayato’s wistful sigh elicits a giggle out of me. We stare into each other’s eyes as our heavy breaths mingle in the short distance between our lips.

“Ayato, shouldn’t we return-” 

His mouth steals the rest of the words from my lips. I squeak when he slowly pushes me back into the solid wall behind me. 

This time I’m the one to pull away, and I blush when his lips chase mine in a desperate attempt to continue our kiss. 

“Ayato, wait please.” His lips abruptly stop chasing mine, and he groans in reluctant compliance. I take in his hooded eyes and ruddy cheeks, and that’s when I know.

This feeling is indisputable, but I still try to resist it nonetheless. “Name, I’m sorry if I got carried away… I..” Ayato trails off, and I quickly correct him before he can misunderstand my actions. “Ayato, honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. If you couldn’t tell, I leaned in too. I just broke the kiss since it may be a bit improper for the Yashiro Commissioner to be caught fervently kissing his fiance against the wall. If you’d like to continue, we’d have to go somewhere private.” Ayato’s eyes widen at my bold words, and I can visibly see the moment he finally registers that someone did in fact walk in on us kissing.

Instead of the panicked reaction I partly expected to see, a devilish smirk upturns his captivating lips.

This man is almost too attractive for his own good.

Actually, no, he is. And he knows it too.

“Alright. Then if my fiance permits it we shall return to the function to give our farewells. It is getting awfully late, and I’d hate to neglect the needs of my pretty wife.” A furious heat blazes across my entire body at his suave words, and he watches my reaction with amusement and another emotion I can not name.

“Ayato, did you only kiss me so someone would see? So they couldn’t question whether I was actually your wife- or, well, fiance.” Ayato’s eyes lower at my words, but I catch the hurt in his eyes.

I hate the way my heart hurts at his saddened expression. He begins to pull back a little, but I tighten my grip on his sleeves and pull him into me again.

“I-I don’t want to doubt you Ayato. I’m sorry, I just… I’m sorry, it’s not you. I believe your actions and your words, you’ve given me no reason to doubt them thus far.” Ayato sucks in a breath, and he allows me to press a kiss against his lips.

My kiss tells him the rest of the words that get caught in my throat. He immediately accepts my kiss, and overwhelming relief relaxes my tense shoulders. 

His acceptance tells me that he understands all the words I couldn’t say; he accepts me nonetheless.

When we part again, this time I’m the one who chases after him. Ayato chuckles as he allows me to kiss him again. “I understand. I don’t mind, we’ll move at whatever pace you are comfortable with. Whatever it is my wife wishes, I am more than happy to oblige her requests.” Ayato pulls away from me, and I watch as Ayato gets down on one knee in front of me. I allow him to tenderly hold my shaking hand in his.

My eyes water as he presses a sweet kiss against the back of my hand, and a tear slides down my cheek when he turns my hand over to press a delicate kiss against the palm of my hand. 

Before he can rise to his feet I practically throw myself into his arms.

“My, what’s gotten you so emotional?” Ayato knowingly murmurs the question despite knowing the answer. He silently holds me against him as more tears travel down the valley of my cheeks. 

It takes a few moments before I allow Ayato to see my tear stained face. He dutifully wipes my tears with a handkerchief. 

There’s no judgment in his eyes, and a well meaning smile placates any concerns I would’ve had. 

Once all of my tears are dried Ayato and I return to the function to give everyone our farewells before Ayato escorts me back to my room for the night.

He follows me inside my room, and he comically walks over to my bed and flops down onto his back. I can’t help but smile fondly at the sight of the esteemed Kamisato Ayato spread out like a starfish on my bed.

“Name, you can do more than just stare. I give you permission to touch.” The teasing lit to his voice immediately causes me to fluster. 

This man will be the death of me.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The first thing I register is the soothing sensation of fingers playing with my hair. I coo as I snuggle closer to the smooth skin of my pillow. 

…

Wait.

My pillow doesn’t normally have smooth, warm skin….

I slowly pry my bleary eyes open. I struggle to adjust to the dim lighting of the room as I change my position. “Shh, go back to sleep.” Ayato’s low voice murmurs against my ear. 

I’m silent as Ayato hums, and my thoughts run a mile a minute as I try to remember what happened last night. 

From what I can recall, we changed into our nightwear before sitting side by side on my bed, just talking about how we feel about everything that’s happened and what we’d like to do moving forward. 

Unfortunately I fell asleep during the conversation. I was really tired, and Ayato’s steady pulse against the shell of my ear only encouraged me to rest. 

Now, I all but purr as Ayato plays with my kinky hair. “Did I give you permission to touch my hair?” I joke. Ayato's hand stops its soothing motions. Before he can completely withdraw his hand, I whine and place my hand over his to return his hand to its previous position. 

Ayato lets out a booming laugh as he continues to play with my hair. “It certainly seems as if our roles have been switched, hm?” I can only laugh as I recall an earlier time when Ayato was the one in my position. 

“I don’t mind, it feels wonderful.” I snuggle against his chest. My hand eagerly intertwines with his, and he willingly weaves his hand with mine. As his thumb rubs soothing shapes into the back of my hand, I splay my free hand against his chest. 

My eyes open again, and this time it doesn’t take me long to adjust to the dim lighting. I look at his face to gauge his reaction as I basically feel him up.

I adore the way his eyes squeeze shut and his face explodes in a delightful burst of red. 

“A-Ah, Name, I didn’t take you for the handsy type..” I snicker as he makes no attempt to stop me. 

A comfortable silence accompanies the peaceful atmosphere. My mind wanders, and it isn’t long before I voice a question. “How do you think last night went?” I ask.

Ayato squirms as one of my fingers brush over his nipple, but his hands don’t falter in my hair and his thumb continues its comforting movements. “I think everything went over smoothly. The individual who saw us made it much easier to get the point across; I’m a taken man.” Ayato sighs in content when my hand trails up to play with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck.

Ayato’s hand mimics my action, and I involuntarily shiver when he gives a playful tug to the little hairs on the nape of my neck. Ayato doesn’t say anything, but he resumes his previous playing of my hair, minus the hair tugging. 

I pout.

He isn’t tugging my hair. 

I think back on his words, and my cheeks warm when I remember what he said. “Wait- what do you mean by ‘I’m a taken man?’” “Name, aren’t you my fiance?” “I mean, in theory, yes-” 

I’m stunned by the sound of surprise that Ayato makes in response to my words. 

Did I say something wrong?

Ayato removes his hand from my hair to lift my chin. My eyes swirl with overflowing emotion as his alluring purple orbs stare deep into my eyes. 

“Yes, you were correct when you said ‘in theory,’ but I believe we should change that.” Ayato lets go of my chin and untangles himself from me. 

I sit up in bed as I watch him walk over to the possessions he left here the evening prior. “Ayato..?” He doesn’t respond as he riffles through his things until he finds what he’s looking for.

I get out of bed to see what he’s found. Before I can walk over to him he’s in front of me.

Except he’s kneeling before me on one knee, just like he did last night. 

He wordlessly slips something on my finger, and then he kisses the back of my hand.

“I know we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but if you’ll allow me, I’d love to know you more intimately. From what I have seen you are an exceptional woman, Name. I have no qualms with letting go of my inhibitions around you, and this is normally a feeling that eludes me in many of my personal relationships. I’d be elated to have you as my fiance Name, not in theory, but in reality. Alas this is only if you’ll grace me with the honor of-” “You’re talking too much.” Ayato’s head shoots up so fast at my words that it’s almost comical. I immediately seal the deal with a passionate kiss against his lips before he can ask the meaning behind my words. 

I lean into the kiss until I fall against him, and he easily catches me in his warm embrace. When we both pull away for much needed air, I give him the verbal confirmation his eyes wordlessly ask for. 

“Yes, I’d love to be your fiance. Hopefully one day I’ll be your wife, if you will ever be so kind as to bless me with the opportunity…” I giggle as I mimic his previously formal tone as he basically proposed to me. His cheeks light ablaze in a color I’m slowly growing fond of.

“I am grateful to have you in my life. Thank you, Name.” “Yeah, yeah. Now kiss me again. Oh, and tug on my hair. I love that.” Ayato’s incredulous facial expression makes me laugh. 

As my bubbly laughter sounds throughout the room Ayato’s fond smile makes me feel at home.

He lifts himself off the floor with me in his arms before he gently places me on my bed. He’s quick to cuddle with me as sunlight streams into the room. Pure elation causes my eyes to water as the sunlight gleams against the ring he placed on my finger.

I close my eyes as I listen to Ayato’s heartbeat. A goofy grin presents itself on my lips, and I’m sure it’ll be a long time before it leaves.  

I feel a tug on the little hairs at the nape of my neck, and a mewl slips past my lips at the pleasant sensation. “Oh? Now that’s a sound I can get used to.” I playfully swat Ayato’s shoulder as his body shakes with laughter.

He presses a multitude of tender kisses all over my face, and there’s nowhere else in Teyvat I’d rather be. 

[maddipoof]

Now we’ve got a lil one shot on our hands. Inspired by real, recent events, here’s Manager!Steve, Coworker!Robin, and Hella Anxious!Reader. Incredibly self indulgent, but I had quite a shit day at work and I like to write my feelings. Currently I've built myself a nest on a couch and I'm listening to 1D, What a night. Putting If I Could Fly on looop. All platonic because uhhh Steve’s her boss and also work relationships weird me out. Sorry to all the requests I could be working on, you're getting this instead. Only warning is that all of this is something that happened to me Tuhday (well yesterday since *john mulaney as that one kid at a sleep over voice* It’s tomorrow now. Except I work at a pet store not a video store (though it did use to be a block buster so every time something weird happens like something falling off a shelf We call it the ghost of block buster) So yeah, graphic depiction of what a panic attack looks like for me. Yolo babes, I love you all, please be nice to your cashiers

I’m not going to try and tell myself this is good, I’m just focused on the catharsis of it <3

It was fine, it was all gonna be fine. Steve would take care of it, Robin's right there with you, it's ok.

But this woman just kept arguing. You did everything right, honestly you did, you thought you did, did you? You made a mistake, the computer didn't take off her discount, she came back, brought her receipt, you asked Robin, she got Steve, he'll take care of it. You did everything right, you kept telling yourself.

You tried keeping your focus on your own work, but the unfortunate proximity of both registers was not working in your favor. Steve on the other side of the cramped space and Robin in between you. And you had your work cut out for you, especially with the line this woman was creating.

It wasn't anyone's fault, but as soon as you called Robin over you apologized for what a hassle it was proving to be. For whatever reason the computer just would not work. And she would not stop talking.

The woman you were currently scanning out made a strange face. Fuck, fuck, not personable enough. Smile, y/n, come on. She clearly saw the look of straight despair pass your face and quickly, gently corrected herself with a shake of her head and a soft smile. "It can only get better."

With the day you've had, you hope so. "Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too, sweetheart, have a good one." What a jinx that was.

You took a deep breath and smiled, trying to fake-it-till-you-make-it with the next customer, all bright smiles and holding the contempt out of your 'Hi, how are you's. But there she was, right behind you. You could only hear bits of what she was saying, "If she needed help she should have asked for it."

"She did ask for help, I am the help." Steve has a short fuse when it comes to anyone being rude to one of his cashiers. When they get short with him, patience of a saint. With you, Robin, or anyone else? Karens never have a leg to stand on. "The computer made a mistake, we're working on it. Thank you for your patience." The fact that you could hear him getting annoyed helped too, made you feel less alone.

The line was only getting longer, your hands only shakier. You were scanning the stack of tapes when you looked back at the computer. At some point it stopped scanning but you didn't know where. So much, so much going on around you. Just everything. You tried looking back at the tapes trying to figure out which one was last. No, no more.

As soon as you turned to Robin and she saw the look on your face she caught on. Vocal chords obviously failing, you raised a trembling hand and shook your head. "Go to the back, go."

You nodded and rushed into the little corner behind the door, finding your little folding chair and pulling your knees up with your feet on the seat. Chest heaving, sucking in as much air as your body would let you. Heart hammering, you could feel it in your throat. Practically mute, you dialed the only number you could think of.

Thank god both stores just updated to caller id. "Hey, kiddo. What's up?" Joyce knew it was you. You're the only one at FV that ever calls Melvald's. The only response she got was heavy breathing and a whimpered 'm-mm' with a head shake she couldn't see. "Hey, hey, what happened?"

You stretched out in the chair, tipping your head up to hopefully breathe a little better, but still all you could manage was a hum. Joyce knew she wasn't getting an answer anytime soon. "Just focus on me hun, alright? What can you see? What can you touch?"

All you could feel was something like that time some people you can’t call friends anymore shoved your ass on one of those ferris wheels from hell, the kind with the cage and the force of it flips you backwards. The seatbelt was hardly enough to hold you down and your were flying out of the seat even on the up shoot. The bar gave you bruises that lasted for days.

That, but amped up to 11.

Tension in every muscle, shaking like a leaf, your face crumbling like one too. But at least you can talk now.

“What happened honey?”

“I don’t- I- Her discount, I don’t- I dunno,” you ended with another whimper.

“You should pull a Hopper.”

“Hmm?”

“Start tapping your finger and give her a quarter, ‘Here’s your discount.”

You huffed out a whisper of a laugh as best you could, “I don’t think that’s allowed.”

“Well it should be. You ok? Feeling better?”

“My teeth hurt.”

“What?”

You can breathe again.

“Yeah, these ones, like the bottom ones.”

“How?”

You hummed something close to ‘I don’t know’ “And like, half my face feels like pins and needles.”

“You’re alright hun, you’re ok. You’re gonna be ok. It’s not worth getting yourself worked up about, ok? You didn’t do a thing wrong.”

“Mhm”

“Good, you wanna stay on or you wanna get back to work.”

“I can go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m ok.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“See you later, Iloveyou.”

One more deep breath and you left your sanctuary. Ready to get out there with a shaky body and nervous spirit, but ready none the less. The second you opened the door Steve was right out there, be trailed off his conversation with a customer Robin was helping with a raised finger that became the palm he held out for you. You let yourself into his side, one arm around his back and the other tucked up to your chest. “There’s always gonna be one, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“You feelin alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, me and Robin are always here if you need anything. ‘cept she just left to go look for you. That lady was a bitch but you’re ok.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.” He pat your shoulder before letting go. You went back up to your register and pulled your shirt sleeves tighter across your crossed arms, swaying yourself back and forth. “You even got Keith on your side. There was this one time, I forget who it was but someone was being rude to Carley and he just went ‘You’re not being very nice’ and he just kept saying it. Wagging finger and everything.” He was proud of the giggle he managed from you. “You’re not being very nice,’ then he kept going. ‘I’m gonna need you to be a lot nicer.’”

“Oh you’re back,” Robin hugged you too, full body, rocking you side to side. “Better?” you nodded over her shoulder. “Good. But you know I would fight someone for you.”

“What?”

“Mhm, no they wanna play, I’m not letting anything happen to you, nu-uh, not on my watch. I got my hair up today, I’m ready to go. I couldn’t even look at her, I was bout to snap.”

“She was glaring at the back of your head.”

“What?” Robin asked on your behalf.

“Yeah, I didn’t know it was you though, I thought she was looking at Robin.”

“And she kept saying ‘She lied, she lied’ I’m like lady, what does she gain from this?”

“Nothing”

“Exactly, nothing. Steve was about to walk away as soon as she left but you just went to the back so I grabbed him by the back of the collar. Then he was like ‘Do we have a problem?’ To the guy and I was dying laughing.”

“No, now I feel bad I ran away.”

“No no, don’t worry about it, he understood.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Said she was a bitch, too.”

Steve cleared his throat and Robin kept going. “Uh oh, look like manager Steve is in the building.”

“Yeah, manager Steve has been here since 7 this morning and he’d like to leave. Robin, you’re under strict instructions, anything like that happens again, you get her out of there. Middle of a transaction, I don’t care, you get her out.”

“Ok, yeah, I can do that.”

“Good, you alright with that?”

“Mhm.”

“Good, good. You two gonna be ok if I go?” But you both know he really just meant you.

Robin looked at you and you nodded. She said yes for both of you.

“Alright, I’ll get out of your hair as soon as Keith gets here, then we can put that lady on the do not return list. Sound good?”

You both gave him thumbs up and finally the day really could only get better.

I’m tagging you guys cus I’m sad and I need people to love me since I don’t have Steve and Robin to. @sw34terw34ther @loving-and-dreaming @beezywriting @manyfandomsfanvergent @katsu28 @steveharringtonlovesme @steveharringtonsleftshoe @new-romqntics @babyrunsforfanfic

[hopepaigeturner]

I've been thinking about how they could fix the lake scene because it's such an iconic scene that they should keep it in some way. And knowing Bridgerton, they will. I think I'd feel better if they are both in the lake. They should keep Sophie spying on Benedict (oh, no sorry, it was academic curiosity). But instead of her sitting there to enjoy the view, she is on the lake and she notices he's there too and hides behind some branches or something. I don't know something that will ease them get closer in the water... Also it could be a nice parallel to the bath scene later on.

The thing is that I don't want Benedict pulling her ankle, or threatening her with chasing her while he's naked. This woman escaped a gang rape, she doesn't need to be Benedict to be an ass and do that. And he can't blackmail her, again, she just escaped harassment!

And I know someone would think that Sophie watching him is also problematic. I remember Luke Thompson talking about this saying that he wants to do it and that it's not the same to put a man in that position because of the way we have regarded male bodies in opposition to female ones. It would be the same as Anthony's lake scene.

In answer to your thing about Sophie staring at Benedict....well, my version has a bit of both. Also it hopefully shifts Benedict from being an ass. And as for getting them closer to the water....well... 😉

An Offer from an Avid Reader: The Lake Scene

Yeah, I don’t like this. And not just Benedict’s role within it but Sophie’s as well. Sophie punches him, he grabs her ankle. She rightly points out her rejection and he is patronising to her, insults her and then ultimately blackmails her.

Wow. How romantic.

And you are also right to point out that Sophie has just escaped harassment and gang rape. In my previous post I did talk about the MeToo movement and general shifts in female representation meaning that BookBenedict’s behaviour is more problematic and far less ‘redeemable’. Nor would it really fit with the highly emotionally intelligent Benedict Bridgerton set up in the show.

So, as usual, this is an adaption not assignation of AOFAG. So, we just need to tweak some of his actions. For we cannot get rid of the lake scene—as @the-other-art-blog says—it is an inconic Benophie scene.

Here is my idea…

Context:

The viewer does not know Sophie’s backstory. They know she is the Lady in Silver and they know she had a terrible time at the Cavender’s as well as with an ‘old mistress’. The night before Benedict tried to teach Sophie to dance. It is almost mirror for mirror of the masquerade and that is when Sophie realises who Benedict truly is. After that dance scene, Benedict's vivid dream about the Lady in Silver returns after laying dormant for a while. There is a scene where Benedict uses the ever so reliable Bridgerton logic to justify how Sophie is not the Lady in Silver. One of the big indicators being that the Lady in Silver did not have scars across her face (that look like nail scratches). This scene follows the book but Benedict is pacing up and down, vocalising his thoughts. However, such logic does not discount for the wealth of feeling he still feels for Sophie—and how last night he desperately wished to kiss her. *~*~*~*~*

✨The Scene:✨

Firstly, Sophie, trying to sort through her jumble of emotions, is the first one to go to the lake. It is a hot spring morning, and the water looks ever so inviting. So, she shucks off her shoes and stocking, ready to paddle.  

Then she hears a twig snapping.

She turns to find Benedict, stumbling into the clearing, (wishing to clear his own thoughts). They stare at each other, just a moment too long…so, Benedict starts rambling.

“I apologise, I wanted…I just…I shall go…”

“Oh no—I shall leave,” Sophie replies.

“No, no, stay. You were here first.”

“I insist, this is your property.”

“And you are my guest.”

Conversation trails off…

“I suppose the lake is big enough for the two of us. I do not mind if you join,” Sophie says, surprising herself. She still does not know how to act after the revelation that he, Benedict, is the man she has been in love with for the last two years—a man who does not even recognise her.

Benedict eventually sits by the bank—a little distance away from where Sophie sits.

There is an awkwardness that lingers around them, an antithesis to the bliss that the viewer has seen them share during their entire time at My Cottage.

After a while Benedict speaks.

“I wish to apologise.”

“Whatever for?”

“You seemed upset last night after our dance. You must know I never intended to make you feel uncomfortable and I apologise if I did.”

“That was not—you were not. There is nothing to apologise for.”

“Truly, then you do not despise me?” he asks.

Sophie turns to him, the disappointment of him not recognising her not quite overriding her heart.

“No. I do not despise you. I was merely overwhelmed and needed space…” She ten whispers, “I do not think I could ever despise you,” It is not the entire truth, but she needs to say something to release the pressure that has been building all night in her chest.

He continues to sit a couple paces away, respecting her space, when all Sophie wants to do is be back in his arms on that terrace, but also with the comforting banter and company they have shared over the last couple weeks. It is all an infuriating conundrum. So she turns back to the water.

“There is something utterly serene about water,” she finally says, “you could almost pretend that all of this,” she gestures to the picturesque clearing, “is in another world, removed—a fantasy.”

“An escape.”

“Yes.” Sophie smiles at him. “The water an enticing invitation, to sink under the surface and into its cool embrace.”

“Well, why not?”

“I do not understand?”

“We should go swimming.” Benedict’s voice picks up with his energy.

“We?”

“Yes.” Benedict stands up and takes his shirt off. Sophie’s stares a beat too long and he smirks at her blush. “Do not worry Sophie, I know how much you have appreciated my wood chopping skills.”

“Such glances are of analysis and derision rather than appreciation,” she quips back.

“Ouch, Miss Beckett you should not wound a man so,” he bats back.

Sophie can’t help but grin, their usual comfort making a welcome return. She stands and as soon as she does Benedict turns away and goes to the trees to give her privacy. Sophie strips down to her chemise and wades in slightly.

“It is a little bit cold…perhaps we should not…”

Benedict turns around.

“Sophie, do you want to go swimming?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then let’s go!” Benedict swings her up in the air and throws her into the lake as she screams. He knows he should have been a bit gentler but any longer seeing her in that threadbare chemise…

Benedict laughs to himself then pauses. Sophie has not resurfaced. He scans the lake. There are no bubbles.

She did say she could swim? He can’t quite remember because at that precise moment a soul captivating look had possessed her eye making Benedict’s breath catch.

Sophie?” he looks again—nothing. “Sophie!” he cries launching in, spinning around and around in water, heart pounding, voice desperate—

Then a mini wave completely soaks him from behind. He turns to find Sophie grinning mischievously, head-half out of the water.

But instead fo laughing, as she expected, she finds herself dragged into Benedict’s arms.

“Are you alright. I am so sorry—”

“Ben, Ben—I am fine.” She soothes. Then she smirks and flicks him with water. “Payback.”

“You do not wish to start this fight, Miss Beckett.”

“I assure you I do, Mr Bridgerton,” she replies but squeals when he splashes her back.

This continues for a while, splashing and enjoying each other’s company unselfconsciously.

Finally, they calm down and Sophie starts to float on her back, eyes shut. Benedict joins her, their hands drift over one another but due to the current or their own wish, they do not know.

And maybe because of the pictureqsue setting being like that of a fairytale, or how being in the water seems so far away from the world, and Benedict's presence is so comforting...that Sophie starts to speak, staring at the sky,

“I love floating…there was a lake at my childhood home and when I was alone, I would lie back and watch the clouds, feel the water rippling around me and the quiet deafening of my ears in the water. Mrs Gibbons used to scold me, scrub my hair ferociously, but for days the smell of lake water would linger. And in the moments and days when she—” Sophie’s breath catches, “…I could smell my hair and imagine being on that tranquil lake, suspended, untethered…adrift. Those are the only moments I have ever enjoyed feeling adrift."

Benedict entwines their fingers together as they float.

“For many years I felt adrift, ever since…I think ever since my father’s death if I am honest…then after the academy I—I would go from party to party, drink to drink, without direction or purpose or interest... And gradually I felt like a ghost, even among my family and their happiness. Lost. Then my brother sent me here, to this house in desperate need of repairs, and for the first time I felt a little tug back to earth, but even so I still wandered…And then I met you.” They turn to look at each other. “And in this past month, being with you, talking with you, dancing with you…it is as if I have finally found my footing, I have finally found some type of anchor.”

She lifts her head, and they return upright, but do not let go of their hands, something pulling them slowly into one another.

“I have spent my entire life adrift, never knowing where I belong,” Sophie whispers.

Everything seems to hush and Benedict tips her chin up, so they become lost in each other’s eyes.

“Then let me help you. Let me be your anchor.”

And in that quiet hush they kiss.

It is slow, tender, and sweet, with each kiss tumbling into the next. The camera cuts to a wide shot, showing the couple on a still lake, framed by tranquil nature and dappled sunlight. The whole scene could be plucked from the most romantic of fairytales.

And when they finally break for breath, they have their eyes closed, intoxicated by the emotion that encircles them. Therefore, Benedict’s words tumble out of his mouth, he mumbles between kisses;

“God Sophie, I have never met a woman like you…Stay with me...Let me give you comfort, and you will want for nothing...Let me keep you safe and you will never need to fear...Just stay with me...I beg you…”

Sophie has initially been swept up in her emotions, but something pierces her mind, punctuating the moment like a pin to a balloon.

“Sophie, stay with me…”

“As your mistress,” she states.

Sophie pulls back slightly. Benedict blinks as if surfacing from a trance.

“What?”

“You want me to be your mistress,” Sophie repeats. Benedict furrows his brow, mind stumbling to coherence…

“I suppose…that is what makes logical sense.”

Sophie wrenches herself away.

“No.”

“Sophie?”

But Sophie swims away.

He tries to keep up, calling her name.

“Sophie? Sophie—wait!” He calls scrambling up the bank as she bundles up her clothes. “What is wrong?”

Sophie whirls around, eyes hard, stance strong.

“I will not be your mistress.”

“Why not?”

“I will not be your dirty little secret to hide away; I will not be your little toy to pick up whenever it suits you.” Then she starts to leave, Benedict following.

Benedict is utterly confused—how could she ever think that? Did she not hear what he admitted? Did she not feel the inexplicable pull between that went deeper than physical attraction?

“You would not—”

“Oh, do not be naïve!” Sophie cries. “I am sure you have had many mistresses Benedict, you know what you are asking of me.” He manages to catch her hands.

“I am asking us to continue this,” he gestures around the clearing, “what we have been experiencing for weeks. I am asking you to be with me. I am asking you to let me provide comfort and safety for you—”

“I was surviving perfectly well before I met you.”

“What if you find yourself in a situation with a man like Cavender?” (Keynote here: unlike the book, Benedict’s tone is concerned/anxious not condescending).

“If you recall I could handle myself quite well, and I have been surviving for a long time on my own—”

“But you do not have to! I could help you. You would want for nothing, living in luxury and security with me. Do you truly wish to give this opportunity up?”

We see a moment of Sophie considering, but not wavering. With conviction she says,

“I have my boundaries, I have my reasons, and they are ingrained within my very soul. No pretty smile will rub them away.”

“But do you not feel it?” Sophie’s eyes become uncertain, so Benedict closes the space between them. “Can you not feel this connection, this pull we have to one another? I know you feel it.”

“You do not know what I feel.”

“Then look me in the eye and tell me that there is nothing between us.”

(Unlike Anthony in S2, this is not uttered sensually, this is uttered with desperation to show how much Benedict wants this.)

Sophie looks him in the eye and that palpable emotion starts rising as it did last night during their waltz, as it did out there on the lake.

 But sometimes the brain dominates the heart. Sometimes memories are more potent than emotions. So, Sophie takes a deep breath and says,

“I will not be your mistress, Mr Bridgerton. Not now, not ever.”

And then she leaves before she bursts into tears at the cruel irony of it all—that the man of her dreams has proffessed such sweet words in the wrong context.

Benedict stands still, his entire being seeming to churn before it snaps back like a rubber band.

He starts running after her, calling her name. He just needs a little bit more time to convince her, to understand why she would deny what was so obvious…

He sees her exit the forest and halt. He runs up, hands on her shoulder ready to talk—

“Mr Bridgerton?”

Their time is up. The world is no longer suspended.

Benedict turns to find an old couple, hair on the precipice of turning grey, staring at the pair of them with wide eyes.

Benedict puts on his best Bridgerton smile.

“Mr and Mrs Crabtree, welcome back!”

*~*~*~*

Hopefully what I’ve shown here is…

 Benedict being a bit more respectful to Sophie than in the book.

A lack of punching/ankle grabbing (don’t worry, Sophie shall have plenty of opportunities to use her right hook later).

Benedict’s desperation at the rejection--his reposne greater than orevious relationships/

that Benedict wishes for her to be a mistress because of their emotional connection rather than just a physical one.

And as @sophiebernadotte said, (in a previous post about Benedict and Women in S1&2 here) the mistress question can be about revealing Sophie’s character and hopefully this rewrite has. Hopefully the viewer will understand that Sophie is a woman of conviction, principles and one who knows herself. And a woman who will not take the easy path—unlike Benedict…

(Yes, I know Sophie has not agreed to return to London to work for the Bridgertons but that occurs after Benedict visits his Grandma Alexandra sans blackmail.)

*~*~*~*~*

What do you think?

I know lots of people have lots of ideas for this scene so I would love to hear other people’s thoughts!!

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

"To have a voice means not just the animal capacity to utter sounds but the ability to participate fully in the conversations that shape your society, your relations to others, and your own life. There are three key things that matter in having a voice: audibility, credibility, and consequence."

* * * *

The crucial sentence in “Men Explain Things to Me” is “credibility is a basic survival tool.” But I was wrong that it’s a tool. You hold a tool in your own hands, and you use it yourself. What it does is up to you. Your credibility arises in part from how your society perceives people like you, and we have seen over and over again that no matter how credible some women are by supposedly objective standards reinforced by evidence and witnesses and well-documented patterns, they will not be believed by people committed to protecting men and their privileges. The very definition of women under patriarchy is designed to justify inequality, including inequality of credibility. Though patriarchy often claims a monopoly on rationality and reason, those committed to it will discount the most verifiable, coherent, ordinary story told by a woman and accept any fantastical account by a man, will pretend sexual violence is rare and false accusations common, and so forth. Why tell stories if they will only bring forth a new round of punishment or disparagement? Or if they will be ignored as if they meant nothing? This is how preemptive silencing works. To have a voice means not just the animal capacity to utter sounds but the ability to participate fully in the conversations that shape your society, your relations to others, and your own life. There are three key things that matter in having a voice: audibility, credibility, and consequence. Audibility means that you can be heard, that you have not been pressed into silence or kept out of the arenas in which you can speak or write (or denied the education to do so—or, in the age of social media, harassed and threatened and driven off the platform, as so many have). Credibility means that when you get into those arenas, people are willing to believe you, by which I don’t mean that women never lie, but that stories should be measured on their own terms and context, rather than patriarchy’s insistence that women are categorically unqualified to speak, emotional rather than rational, vindictive, incoherent, delusional, manipulative, unfit to be heeded—those things often shouted over a woman in the process of saying something challenging (though now death threats are used as a shortcut, and some of those threats are carried out, notably with women who leave their abusers, because silencing can be conversational or it can be premeditated murder). To be a person of consequence is to matter. If you matter, you have rights, and your words serve those rights and give you the power to bear witness, make agreements, set boundaries. If you have consequence, your words possess the authority to determine what does and does not happen to you, the power that underlies the concept of consent as part of equality and self-determination. Even legally women’s words have lacked consequence: in only a few scattered places on earth could women vote before the twentieth century, and not so many decades ago, women rarely became lawyers and judges; I met a Texas woman whose mother was among the first in their region to serve on a jury, and I was an adult when the first woman was appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Until a few decades ago, wives throughout much of the world, including the United States, lacked the right to make contracts and financial decisions or even to exercise jurisdiction over their own bodies that overrode their husbands’ ability to do so; in some parts of the world, a wife is still property under the law, and others choose her husband. To be a person of no consequence, to speak without power, is a bewilderingly awful condition, as though you were a ghost, a beast, as though words died in your mouth, as though sound no longer traveled. It is almost worse to say something and have it not matter than to be silent. Gender violence is made possible by this lack of audibility, credibility, and consequence. We live inside an enormous contradiction: a society that by law and preening self-regard insists it is against such violence has by innumerable strategies allowed that violence to continue unchecked, better and far more frequently protected perpetrators than victims, and routinely punished, humiliated, and intimidated victims for speaking up, from workplace harassment cases to campus rape cases to domestic violence cases. The result makes crimes invisible and victims inaudible people of no consequence. The disregard for a woman’s voices that underlies sexual violence is inseparable from the disregard afterward if a woman goes to the police, the university authorities, her family, her church, the courts, to the hospital for a rape kit, and is ignored, discredited, blamed, shamed, disbelieved. They are both assaults on the full humanity and membership of a person in her society, and the devaluation in the latter arena enables the former. Sexual assault can only thrive in situations of unequal audibility, credibility, and consequence. This, far more than any other disparity, is the precondition for epidemic gender violence. Changing who has a voice with all its powers and attributes doesn’t fix everything, but it changes the rules, notably the rules about what stories will be told and heard and who decides. One of the measures of this change is the many cases that were ignored, disbelieved, dismissed, or found in favor of the perpetrator years ago that have had a different outcome in the present, because the women or children who testified have more audibility, credibility, and consequence now than they did before. The impact of this epochal shift that will be hardest to measure will be all the crimes that won’t happen because the rules have changed. 

--from Recollections of My Nonexistence

Rebecca Solnit

[nvrcmplt]

One of the few perks of about being a private investigator was access to information, and a face went a long enough way for Jeanne as she had been forced ( by her assistant ) to issue an apology to the poor woman who had gotten caught up in her previous ordeal. Delivered in her mailbox was a letter, handwritten and signed J.B. The letter, when read would read the following:

I hope our first meeting gave you a good first impression (she has crossed out good ). My assistant, upon his return, urged me to send an apology for the problems that may have occurred and he hopes you won't sue him (I for one can handle a lawsuit). I do wish to apologize and make up for the conversation we couldn't have. Coffee is on me. You will find at the Cafe listed down below.

P.S before you wonder how I found your address, I'm a private investigator (and you left your wallet).

Tucked withing the mailbox were the wallet.

No tricks this time, just good old coincidence (for she could have done enough sleuthing with just her face). For the poor woman who got wrapped up with Jeanne the other day !

The loss of a wallet was a shame, she liked the print of leather in that one. Plus it was her 40th present from Eijun, so when she returned home that evening to find herself with mail and a gift inside - the very item she's been mourning the loss of. She felt her heart skip a beat at holding the leather to her chest again. Cards all inside, discounts and number cards, a photo of herself and said brother in animal ear filters when they were way younger than their current times.

She didn't hesitate to open up the letter that it seemingly came with and with a laugh, she moved herself to the kitchenette to read it as she placed her bag aside and washed her hands from the outside germs and took down her hair with a relieved hum and itch. "Coffee, huh?" It wasn't the best time for caffeine, but to be honest - she did need to have her patient looked at from a hunch in her core. A bad idea really but she wasn't a fool, she knew her legal rights outside and inside her business.

Sighing as she gathered her wallet to place into her bag once more, she moved to the bedroom to change her blouse and reapply perfumes with adjusting the minimal make-up worn. Leaving her hair down as the ache to her scalp was already irritating her, she took a moment to step aside and change her wedges for flats. Just a hunch, just in case… It was crazy to think about really. She knew PI's had the drama on TV about being hated for their work but to be a part of that?

At that crazy height too?

Well, at least she got to sleep well that night, stuck with the smell of Jeanne's clothes on her own. The heat of her skin, the shear strength in both body and mind she expelled in the moment of worthy of screaming if one was not calmed enough. Ji Ae couldn't help herself in thinking back to it either, they were practically slotted to each other to hide, instead of merely asking how much it'll cost to get proof upon a possible domestic abuse situation - she was instead in an action movie with a beautiful woman as a guardian.

Checking her phone for the first time, she took off again to the front door. Scooping up the letter, her keys and headed back outside to go meet up with the lady in waiting. She couldn't say she wasn't bursting with questions - since she was pretty much ushered home after climbing back inside.

"Just a cup then." She told herself, adjusting her bag's strap and climbing into her car once more to head for the address on the note.

[minty-marshmallow]

Once Upon a Crime [Spoiler Warning]

So, this is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood I assume? I love how overly dramatized Japanese dramas are lol, like why is this woman crackling like that haha?

What a strange lady, and why use magic that you're not even good at lol. Something tells me this was a set up though. So, who is this lady? Why is she out here in the forest like that? Oh, so it's Cinderella.

Little Red is quite observative and smart though.

[I also just realized this is a movie and not a series lol]

Yo, is she crying or laughing? (actors/actresses who can't really cry are annoying to be honest lol but whatever) Wait, she's supposed to be ugly? The actress is so pretty though.

OMG, the step-sister just killed the pigeon like that!? That's crazy!

So the dresses will run out of magic before the shoes do though. I wonder if that will be important? Maybe, it will play out with how the original fairytale goes, and that's how the prince finds Cinderella.

Why is the mouse man laughing like that? That's so ominous. Dang, that just scared me lol what did they hit? Oh...shit they hit a person...is he dead? I mean I guess that's what you get when you let a mouse drive a carriage.

Well, he is dead, but they didn't kill him. So I wonder who did? Poor Cinderella does have a good heart she wants to report it but Little Red doesn't want her to miss the ball. Also why she gotta make an evil face like that?

Well, their dresses really stand out, don't they? I guess the witch didn't get the dress code memo haha. Oh, Margot isn't there, I wonder if she committed the crime? What woman that disappeared?Also, the prince is quite handsome.

Oh no, the body was found and they're probably going to be accused. Little Red is right though, they can't just leave because that's just like seeming guilty.

Well, at least they are doing a pretty good investigation I suppose. Naw, that's too easy of a theory for a movie bruh lol. I don't think Anne did it. Plus, we're not even halfway through the movie yet.

So Han wasn't even really a good guy, he was kind of a jerk. So Anne was sneaking around though lol, but I told you she didn't do it. I don't think the Prince did either though. Okay, so he threw the crown away...so what lol. [I love Japanese shows they're so funny to be honest]

Aww, he really loved the maid. I wonder why she left though? The king says it wasn't because of him, so I wonder why. Look, Little Red does have bad timing but she's got a point. They need to move on with the actual investigation, not try and fix their father/son relationship at the moment. It's good that he didn't give him the mirror. I feel bad that his own father accused him of killing Hans though. I genuinely feel like he wouldn't do that. I mean he might have been upset about being blackmailed and stuff but I don't think he seems like the kind to kill.

Oh, evidence is piling up against him though. Oh is that creepy person that snuck in, is that the missing maid? Hold on, why is the stepmother trying to divert the blame back to the prince? Didn't she want Anne to marry the prince? So why is she trying to put the blame back on him but discounting this lady's testimony?

Lol, that was so quick. Little Red is smart though. But also I think she's just lucky too because she just happened to find the bramble from his clothing. Anyway, I hope that the creepy lady is the maid and that she and the prince can get married.

Okay, so they didn't solve the murder and he's just letting everyone go. Their magic is about to run out lol. I wonder if the prince is going to end up with Cinderella or the maid? If the stepmother doesn't shut up about her daughter Anne...good grief.

So she did leave her shoe like in the story. So, the magic doesn't run out if it's not on her person? Oh, wait...the shoes will last for 24 hours. I forgot that part.

Ah ha, I knew it! I said I thought Margot did it. However, she says it's an accident. Okay, so someone hit her and then set her up to make her look like the killer. This is very interesting.

Well, Little Red didn't lie. She never said she would help her. Margot just kept spilling out the truth. That's a piece of a glass slipper, right? Plus I knew she didn't actually kill Hans.

Wait, what did she figure out? Because I'm kind of confused.

Aww, the prince came to find Cinderella just like in the story. Okay, look in the back of my head I was wondering if Cinderella killed him. Now, I'm bout to find out how and why. Well, I mean I still don't think she intentionally meant to kill him. She didn't want her hair cut and the dude was really creepy. However, I guess it was worse to try and cover it up.

I feel bad for Cinderella though. She did kill him but I don't think she meant to. Aww, I'm glad it was Remi and I'm glad that the prince and her got to reconcile and get married.

So, they gonna make this into a series or what? lol I'd like to see more.

[caffeinated-chaos-bean]

The priest surveyed the forest, taking in the calm winds as he did his rounds. Leaves began to fall, a sign the fall would begin soon. The air was crisp, but not uncomfortable. His attention was diverted from his tasks, however, when he heard a twig snap behind him.

“Who goes?” He asked.

Across from him was a tall blonde, a stern look upon her face and axes in hand. “Youta.”

“Ah, Signy.” Youta said. “You startled me. Why are your weapons drawn? Is the celestial forest in danger?”

The warrior woman did not take her eyes off the holy man, her brow furrowed. “No, there is no danger. I need a word with you, and this is the only place in which I can catch you alone.”

“O-Oh?” Youta was puzzled. “W-What about?”

Signy took a step forward. While her weapons were drawn, they weren’t held in an offensive way. Perhaps it was for her own comfort, or perhaps it was for some other reason. The priest watched as the Nemain warrior made her way to him, closing the gap between them until there was maybe four feet between them. “I know what you are, priest.”

Youta tightened the grip he had on his staff, his body tensing. “What... do you mean? I’m the kingdom’s priest, nothing more and nothing less.”

“Don’t play dumb.” Signy responded, her tone stern. “You may have hidden it well from the elf and her maid, but you forget that I have a higher sense of smell than they do. I understand that they are aware of what that amulet you wear does, but have yet to know let alone see what exactly it has been hiding all this time.”

The priest furrowed his brow, his eyes narrowing at the woman before him. The last time his amulet failed, she had yet to even meet the Queen. How could she know what it was for? Suspicion rose in the man, the crisp air around him now feeling eerie and full of unease. “...If you think that I hide something, perhaps I do. But to the others, they are aware of the yokai that’s kept at bay. They do not need to see it, nor experience it. They need not be told about it’s true nature, either.”

“Tch... do you think me a fool, Youta?” Signy grunted. “What you hide isn’t a demon, this ‘yokai’ as you prefer to call it. You know that your only hiding another side of yourself, something that was natural and already born within you when Artio birthed your spirit onto the mortal world.”

Youta felt his jaw clench, now having to force himself to relax its muscles. “...Cherika. I devote myself to the goddess Cherika, of whom this kingdom worships. I do not know of Artio or their beliefs.”

Signy gritted her teeth at his words, holding back the urge to slap some sense into him. She close the gap between them further, now leaving a mere foot between them as she towered over the blonde advisor. “Don’t you dare discount your rightful spiritual guide, boy, lest you want some sense beaten into you.”

“Is that a threat?” The priest smirked as the words left him, knowing this woman would not do him harm unless she actually wanted to have the kingdom’s harsh opinions to be proven right, making their Queen look like a fool.

Signy growled in response, gripping her axes tight. It was taking quite a bit of inner restraint to not let her prideful nature take over with this man. “No. It is a challenge. Draw your staff as the weapon it is, priest. If you are intent on denying what you are, then surely you won’t be able to transform during battle. A sparring challenge will therefore be harmless.” Her words were cold, malicious even. She didn’t seem to have any ill will against Youta, though she did sound as though she wanted to test him in some way.

Youta looked the woman in the eye, a sudden cold nature coming over them. “If a sparring match is what you wish, I will not deny it as to do so would disrespect your culture. But know this, I do not take disrespect towards myself lightly, either. If doing this will prove to you that your words are untrue, then I accept.”

I know I left you all with a cliff hanger on this one, that was intentional. -w-

I want you guys to try and figure out what Signy is getting at, and what she means when she’s confronting Youta in this. Feel free to send me your guesses in my ask box, I encourage it even! I’d like to see what you come up with!

* * *

Signy (c) myself

Youta (c) mine, adopted from @strawberry-metal

SvSSAO | ObjectLuminous | HgDiffusion | Diffusion_7 | o_toProfileColor | o_SelfOverlay_Soft | Falling Leaves | FireInTheSkies | S5SkinShader_Lite | S5BaseShader

[let-the-stars-guide]

Oc Info

Legal name: Makula Managold

pronounced (mak/cue/la) (mah/na/gold)

Name meaning : Pearl

Nickname (s): Minty, Mack

Native country:Khaenri’ah

Pronouns: She/They

Reincarnation : 5th stage Acceptance

Ethnicity: Khaenri'ahian- Sumerian descent

Currently living : Mondstadt(Germany)

Age: 21

Vision (Power) : Hydro

Constellation: Hyades

Gender: (she/them)

Sexuality: Demisexual

Birthday: 04/04

Family: Elias, Marianne “Créme”, Bay “Blue”

Affiliation: Merchants of Mondstadt

❗️Side job(s): Bard

S/o: Amanita Virosa(teyvattales oc)

Species: Human

Appearance Information

Eye color: Gold with a star symbol engraved as the pupil.

Hair color: dark blue (usually in a red headwrap) :D

Height: 5'8

Weight: 135 lbs

Body: pear shaped

Piercings:Lobe

Unique body marks: Two moes at the bottom of their face, scara markings near heart(via hiku’s death)

Personality/Work/ Backstory

About Minty:

Ambivert(Istj) They have no problem starting conversations with others but they really prefer to be alone. Minty tends to hang around others with similar personality traits to them.

Favorite foods: cold treats

Job: Merchant (sells clothes), designs outfits

Business name: Far by the Shore

Positive traits:Good listener, ambitious, hard working

Negative traits: Hot headed, tries to solve things on their own(which isn’t always good), impatient (especially when waiting for letters)

Dislikes: Anything political, beings involved in conflict, having a lot of attention on them.

Hobbies: Sketching, sowing, singing to pass time, plays Lyre, traveling

Fears: Losing family, being alone permanently.

Backstory Information [Locked]

Would you like to use 2 story keys?

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Backstory unlocked loading…….

Backstory : Makula lived in a small town in Khaenri'ah. At a young age they began working in their parents’ shop. Elias, their father, worked at a food market stall and Marianne (their mother) owned a clothing store. Makula and their sibling would go out and make deliveries to their customers. When Makula and Bay were old enough, they left their home to expand their parents’ business overseas. Their sibling Bay went to Inazuma ,while Makula went to Mondstadt.

Traumatic story unlocking….

Trauma event: When Makula first came to Mondstadt, they asked a man for directions. Instead of being guided, they got jumped by Treasure hoarders. Since Makula didn’t know how to fight, they tried to defend themselves with a stick. With Makula’s back to the corner, they swung the stick trying to scare Men off….(Elaborates on “About Minty”)

Voicelines

About Knights: “They are our best luck of protection in this country, even if some of them aren’t.. so trustworthy.”

About Bards: “Some play beautiful music and have interesting stories to tell.”

Concerns: “I honestly worry about expanding the Business further. I’ve been putting it off since there have been issues lately.”

About Discounts:“If you ever need a discount on food while in Inazuma, you should visit my brother Bay. He sells regular food but also some recipes that other countries don’t use. If you see him, tell him Mack sent you.”

About Friends: While living in Mondstadt they’ve gotten acquainted with some recent customers. Their most recent are some of the teen vision users, some of the Knights and the Traveler.

About Amanita: The Fatui? I don’t know alot about them except this one person. The one that goes by the name Amanita. Why do you mention him? Are they giving you any trouble??

About Angetsushin Hikomi

That woman is my darling Amanita’s 2nd lover. Yes I did not stutter I’m not his only wife. The impression I’ve had from being around her is positive. She’s generally respectful, sh

About Buisness in Mondstadt🔒

About Amanita 2🔒

About traveling🔒

Ancestry🔒

Family🔒

About Fatui 2🔒3

About Jean🔒

About Venti🔒

About Bennett🔒

About Kaeya 🔒

Fighting lines

Joining Party: Let’s be quick about this I have work to do.

Joining party 2: Really right now?!

Joining party 3: I’ll do my best.

Opening Treasure Chest: Damn this is alot!

Opening Treasure Chest 2: I wonder if I can use these?

Opening Treasure Chest 3: A job well done Traveler!

Elemental skill: Hey Hey! Hold this really quick!

Elemental skill 2: Don’t run away now~

Elemental skill 3: Get the fuck out of my way!

Elemental Burts 1: Ready to drown?

Elemental Bursts 2: I’ll make your death painless!

Sprint start 1: We gotta go!

Sprint Start 2: I’m late I’m late!

Low Hp: Good for you, you landed a hit. *sarcastic*

Low Hp 2: I’ll be fine

Low Hp 3: Hang in there Makula

Fallen 1: Wait no!

Fallen 2: Bay.. I’m sorry.

Fallen 3: Manny .. take care.

Story Quest 1: Amata bene: Of Merchants and Bunny boys Chapter 1🔓

More Voicelines will appear the more I write about Minty.

Current picture of Minty for rn Below

Loading Makula Mandagold file ………

ERROR SEARCHING FOR MAKULA MANAGOLD 2.EXE

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LOADING

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Found 4 documents

Do you wish to proceed

Yes or No

Makula Managold

Nickname: Rea (like Rhea the Goddess of Motherhood and Fertility)

Age: 21

Job: Merchant

???: Deceased, Reincarnated (currently as MInty)

Date of birth: 04-13

Family: error lost a file, Sage Managold (son)

Significant Other: Amanita Virosa

File 2 LOADING

.Nickname: Amira

age of death: 19

cause of death: poisioned,, killed by a bomb

Job: Tavern bartender

Family: unnamed child, unnamed family

Date of birth: May 07

Body marks: Has burn marks from previous death

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.

.

File 3 loading

Nickname : Mina

Personality; keeps to self, introverted.

Age of death- 18

Job: Theif

Partner in crime/ Amanita Virosa

Body marks: Rash on face and other parts from poison

cause of death : ???

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.Nickname: Hoku

Personality:

Age of death: Fight broken out in Khaenri’ah

Job: Astrologist

Family:

Body marks: moon symbol covers body marks. Birthmark is a mole on her head from when she died in the previous life.

[laxibrook]

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[cyclonesyndicate]

The Sleeping Beauty | Alphard | Act 1 no. 1 | Body React

Asking Alphard how many dead bodies he has seen in person was as pointless as asking how many times he has seen the rain. Death was a part of what he did. It was the cog that kept his world turning. The bloody grease between the wretched wheels. When Tempest- through their emissary Sly Tony- gave the ultimatum to kill in order to become a full fledged member and escape, he had no delusions about everyone refusing, or banding together to be better than that. It was a matter of biding time.

And yet, the body of Sofia Ramos in front of him troubled him in a way others hadn't. It wasn't camaraderie- he'd seen plenty of other members of the Thirteen Orphans die, some by his own hand. It wasn't thinking about what she said about her friends back home, or her fans. Plenty of people with friends, family, followers, admirers, and so on had to die for the sake of the bloody work he took part of. It was never personal. 

"Perhaps. But nobody doing our line of work expects a long life to begin with , do they?"

"I do! I'm gonna be the evil supervillain grandma Texas needs."

"Then I wish you the best of luck."

"Huuuuuuuuuuuuh, come on, don't look at me like that. You don't really think you're gonna die soon, right?"

The two were roughly the same age, but so different in worldview. It bristled against Alphard as being unprofessional, but he never discounted that perhaps his view was wrong. Maybe he was too vigilant. Sure, he was alive and she wasn't, but nobody could deny that Sofia Ramos lived in a way Alphard doubted he could ever emulate, even under the deepest of covers.

"I do not anticipate it but I never discount the possibility..... I plan on living as long as I can as well. I have no reason to die, and no cause greater than my life...."

".........If I discharged my own weapon on myself or ate something I shouldn't, I'd just refuse to die. I'd just straight up force myself to keep going so I could die in a way that I won't be dunked on for."

How would she feel about this death? She didn't have a say, but would this be something she would 'dunk' on? To the woman for whom death was an afterthought, who only thought of life and living, was this an acceptable end?

"...I wouldn't last a day with you guys..."

Perhaps she was more correct than she realized. Perhaps these two worlds were never meant to mix. Alphard had much to think about.

[greenbell33]

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[vanbattle70]

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[formvase74]

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[gotnofucks]

A Man’s World

Pairing: soft!dark!Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: To advance in a man’s world, you must allow one to own you. He promises you success, as long as you give yourself to him.

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: Dub-con (at the beginning), smut, language, implied age gap, poor knowledge of law and legal system, 18+ ONLY

A/N: This is my late entry to Berry’s Sugary 4k Challenge (everyone go and send some love to @donutloverxo​ for being so awesome. I am also dedicating this fic to Lexi ( @bluemusickid​ ) who’s had a difficult few weeks recently. I hope you feel better my love.

Sweat was building under your top hat, the urge to itch making you frustrated with the delay. The officer before you was young, probably your age and fumbled with the papers you had handed to him. You tried to relax, almost as nervous as the man in front of you and tried to console yourself with the fact that he was far too jittery to look at you long.

No one will find out, you’re safe.

“Sir?”                                                                                  

You chewed your chip, feet tapping irregularly on the ground in agitation.

“Sir?” The officer said again, peering at you worriedly. You quickly pulled down the rim of your hat, still not used to being called ‘sir’.

“Uh, yeah. Yes.” You said, clearing your throat and trying for a deeper voice. The officer handed you your papers back, all signed and stamped. “Thank you.”

He nodded slightly and motioned for you to wait while your client was brought out. This was the first time you’d been out in the open alone, the fear of discovery clashing with the freedom that ran in your veins.

“Did you bail me out?” A rough voice asked. You looked up at Mr. Lane, a huge mountain of a man who towered over you. You nodded and offered him your hand to shake, wincing as his rough palms scratched against your soft ones. He looked doubtfully at you and you could understand why. You barely looked like a person who belonged in the police station, no matter as a man or woman.

“I am Mr. Barber’s assistant. He was busy with a hearing and sent me to bail you out. If you’d follow me to his office, he’d like a word before we proceed to your trial next week.” You explained, a little more confident. You knew the work, you knew the ways. You only needed to sell your lies to make your truth valid.

Mr. Lane nodded, following and entering the coach outside the station after you. He sat across from you, eyes narrowing as he ran over your soft features, the clip clop of the horses the only sound within.

“You old enough to be an assistant, boy?” Mr. Lane asked, and you scowled. Oh, how you’d like to tell him you were old enough and good enough to be not just an assistant but also a lawyer. You could be the one representing him in court and making him a free man. You should be that one. But, alas, this world doesn’t see women doing much rather than peeling potatoes and popping out a child every second year.

“I am.” You replied in a gruff tone that made it clear you weren’t about to entertain more questions. Your companion nodded, looking out the window and into the streets where peddlers screamed about discounted watches and handkerchiefs and buttons. Not many people had cushioned coaches like this, but Mr. Barber insisted one for your travels.

The journey to the office was quick and silent and you gestured Mr. Lane to follow you up to the top floor where your boss sat in his office. Some people nodded at you, now getting used to seeing you here though they didn’t stop to talk. You had never spoken much to anyone here outside of the receptionist who was deaf in one ear and considered every man under the age of 40 was a boy.  

“Wait here, I’ll let you in in a moment.” You said and had Mr. Lane take a seat on the benches outside. Then, you knocked softly and entered, shutting the door after you. Andy was sat behind his desk, frowning at some paper, and beckoned you closer without looking up from them. You walked over to him, licking you lips softly.

“Sit.” He said, taking your hand and pulling you into his lap. You positioned yourself on his thigh, squirming a little. He scribbled something in the corner of his paper before pushing it away with a sigh, turning his face to you. His eyes, bluer than the ocean at the docks, glittered at you and a small smile curled on his lips. With a practiced move, he removed your top hat and released the band that held your long locks tied together at the top.

Running his fingers through your hair, he leaned closer to press a kiss on your lips. You instinctively kissed back, holding onto his shoulder and moulding your lips to fit his.

“How did it go?” He asked, caressing your cheek softly. You fingered his collar, not looking in his eyes.

“I was worried someone will see through me.” You softly murmured. “There were so many men out there.”

Andy chuckled, pressing another kiss on your lips as his hand sneaked around your waist to bring you closer.

“There are always going to be men around. But you must remember you’re better than them. Better than any other son of a dick out there pretending he is the boss.”

You looked at him at that, taking in his beautiful face that had you smiling and crying in equal parts. You could tell exactly how that well-groomed beard felt between your legs, how those lips could make you utter the filthiest of sounds and curses and how those large hands touched you in the dark of the night.

“Better than even you?” You tentatively asked and Andy smiled, taking your hand and bringing it to his mouth.

“You’ve always been better than me.” He said. You blinked and looked away, his gaze far too intimate to hold. Try as you might, you could not figure this man out. Months you’d spent with him, living, and working and being his any way he asked, and yet he was as much a mystery as he’d been the first time you met.

“Uh, Mr. Lane is waiting outside. Should I call him in?” You asked and he nodded, squeezing your side before releasing you. You put your hair up again and wore your hat, hiding your face under its shadows and calling the client in.

When a girl turns a certain age, she is expected to find the most eligible bachelor and flutter her eyelashes in a bid to secure a match. Your mother threw grand balls for your sisters and was planning an even grander one for your introduction to the society. But you had had enough of dancing with lecherous bastards with as wandering hands as their eyes. You couldn’t stomach the thought of being bound to one of them, so you took your chance and ran.

Leaving behind your quaint town, you entered the bustling city with an assortment of clothes and a heart full of hope. It took you a week to understand that this was no place for you, no place for a lady who dreamt of being her own person. No one wished to employ you, a young girl who had no business demanding pay and rights.

However, in this bustling city of strangers, you found a man who wished to own you. Andy Barber told you in no uncertain terms that he would not hire you as long as you dressed like a woman, but he also promised that he could train you to be better than any other man. Provided, you give yourself to him. You weren’t naïve enough to pretend to not know what he was asking for, but you were desperate enough to say yes. This was better than a marriage anyway. There too, a man would have parched his thirst over your naked chest, but at least here you could learn and get paid for it without being bound to him.

Andy was not unkind. As a mentor, he was strict and meticulous. He worked you hard, taught you well, gave bitter feedback but praised you just the same. As a lover, he was exacting, exploring your chaste body with touches rough and soft, demanding response and reverence. The first night you laid with him, he spent hours worshiping you. His lips, lined by his bushy mustache, traced your face and neck, roving over each contour of your body until his mouth had tasted all.

The modesty you had guarded forever was bare to his gaze, but he didn’t lust like a man who cornered women in dark alleys. He had knelt before your open legs like men of cloth did at the lord’s altar, kissing the dewy folds of your sex with so much passion and delicacy that you had indeed felt like a goddess. Never had you imagined a man to put his mouth there, not when your mother had told you it was unclean. Andy, on the other hand, tasted it like he tasted absolution in your nectar.

He taught you more than simply law. The pleasures of flesh, of learning to please yourself and your companion were lessons that took place in the dark of night. He whispered things that Satan preached in your ear, seducing you into sin that you soon came to crave.

“Touch yourself”, a command he gave often. Nothing pleased him more than seeing you bring yourself to completion with your eyes trained on him, thoughts full only of him and how his body rocked yours.

You had done a great many things with him, things that had you flustered for days on end whenever your thoughts would turn to him, but what you were doing now was nothing short of scandal. It was blasphemous, something that would ruin you way more than if people found you falsely parading as a man in the city.

“Andy!” You hissed, pushing against him to no avail. He had dragged you into the men’s room inside the courthouse, cornering you against the wall and pressing his body flush to yours. He was wearing his best clothes today, about to represent an important man in a case that had made the front page for two weeks straight. Time together had been more work than pleasure, and it seemed Andy had reached his breaking point right before the trial started.

He started working on the buttons of your waistcoat, a frenzy in his eyes. “I need to take you now. This might as well be the most important case of my career, and I’ll begin it by being inside you, and end it just the same!”

You moaned, letting your hands roam his body as he finally undid your waistcoat and shirt, frantically ripping away at the bandages that bound your breasts. As he took one of your hardened nipples in his mouth, you palmed his pulsing hardness from over his pants, shivering at the thought of feeling it inside you again.

He scared you like this, for someone could walk in and see the illustrated Andrew Barber making a beast with two backs in the male room with someone who greatly resembled a man. He will be ruined. You would be ruined. And as of now, the very thought of that caused wetness to pool in your underpants.

“Get on your knees and taste me.” He urged, pulling out his cock and pumping it. “As you sit beside me today, I want you to have my taste in your mouth. One day, I’ll sit beside you too.”

You were a gently bred lady of impeccable reputation, but you sunk to your knees with the practiced move of a street woman to take him eagerly in your mouth. Oh, if your proper mother could see you, sucking a man like a whore in the damp men’s room, her teachings of propriety and modesty all but forgotten. But nothing made you feel more than a woman that receiving Andy like this. His desire, his need for you burned in his eyes and you lapped on those flames to quench the thirst in your heart.

His hand moved behind your head, easing you into taking him deeper. “Look at me” He whispered, and your eyes met his, shining with unshed tears. He did this to you, reduced you to who you loathed to be and yet loved. Swirling your tongue over his soft skin, you bobbed over his length, the squelching sounds filling the small room.

Just like always, you tasted his power and his yearning. The milky drops of precum coated your tongue, your nose taking in the smell of his musk as he groaned above you. He reduced you, but then why did you feel raised?

“Touch yourself, let me taste you too.” He ordered, and you complied. Your hand slipped inside your pants, finding your moist core. Generously lubing your fingers in your slick, you rose on shaky knees and presented your wet fingers to Andy who sucked them eagerly in his mouth. Warm, wet, his tongue took in your taste with relish.

You couldn’t stop but stare into his blue eyes, eyes that should have haunted your nightmares, but you only saw them in sweet dreams. “Kiss me” You begged, and he did. He kissed you like a man starved, like a man who could suck out your soul and draw it in himself. He kissed you like dew kissed the morning grass, like the colours of rainbow that scattered in the sky to paint it pretty.

“Tell me where you want me, how you want me.” He said, surrendering control. You stilled, hands resting on his chest. How were you to lead him when he was infinitely more experienced about the art of making love?

“I – I want you inside me.” You softly said, eyes fluttering as you shy looked away. Why was saying what you do so many times so difficult.

“Inside where?” Andy asked, tilting your chin up again. You gulped, your face and chest flushed.

“In my – in my” You stuttered, fearing to speak the word he spoke often. “In my pussy.”

You would have thought he would ravish you as soon as you said the words, instead he brought you closer and nudged your nose with his. His breath came out in erratic spurts, his need evident in his gaze. “You will put me inside you, however you want. It’s time I let you take some lead.”

Holding his gaze, you pumped his length gently before turning around and presenting him your ass. You struggled to position him, trying to place his tip at your opening. He didn’t move an inch to help you, only chuckling slightly when you huffed in frustration. Finally, you felt him at your slit, and you slid him between your folds carefully, trying to coat him in your wetness like you’d seen him do.

“What if someone walks in?” You asked, hesitating for just one moment.

“They’ll have to wait while we finish. You’re not walking out of here unsullied, so how about we hurry up?”

You pushed back into him, taking him inside your pulsing sleeve with ease. The stretch of his cock had always felt good, a pain that had a lasting effect and reminded you of him. As you moved back and forth, urging him to meet you halfway, you wondered why the self loathing never came. Andy had a way of making you feel like a queen when others may suspect you of nothing more than a whore.

“Andy” You brokenly said as he thrust inside you faster, “I want more. Please.”

He gave you more. He took over, holding onto your waist and sliding home inside you in deep, powerful strokes. You whined under his assault, jerking when his fingers found your nub and mashed it. Praises, curses, words of love and lust that had the power to destroy hearts and armies flowed freely from his mouth, as if the only thing tethering him to this earth was your body.

Your hands went to play with your breasts, a strangled moan caught in your chest. Suddenly, even when he moved inside you with such passion, you craved more intimacy than his cock could offer. You tilted your head to the side, offering him your mouth that he took in a sensual kiss. You were so close that you couldn’t decide what limb was yours and which was his anymore. In the age old dance of sensual love, you became one.

“What do you want?” He asked, and your eyes met his. He asked you this every time, and you had always answered the same thing. But today, this felt different. You were in the courthouse, a lawyer’s battleground and also the place of worship. He was more than your mentor and boss, he was also the man who you had grown to care for so deeply it could only be called one feeling.

“Inside me. I want you to finish inside me today.” You answered and his hands clutched you tighter. You’d never allowed that before, never allowed him to call you his so completely. But you felt compelled by his heat today, by the desperation he never bothered hiding from you. Once, this may have felt like a chore. Today, it was your blessing. “Andy, make me yours.”

He groaned, pumping in you with abandon and bringing you over the edge with his fingers that were running circles around your clit. You moaned loud, blubbering in pleasure that spilled from you, uncaring if someone were to walk in. His thrusts were getting irregular, hips jerking until you felt him twitch and release inside you in hot spurts. Warmth bloomed in your core, your essence mixing with his.

He hugged your sweaty body to his, the wool of his coat scratchy against your flesh. “You were mine, even before. Now, more so than ever. And one day, when you’re ready, I’ll claim you in front of the world as fully as my heart has done in private.”

You felt him run his thumb over your ring finger and licked your lips. He wasn’t asking, and you weren’t answering. But one day, maybe you will. Until then, you were happy to be his beautiful secret, posing as his assistant and learning from him.

“Don’t,” He whispered hotly in your ear, turning you around swiftly. “Don’t think too much. We’ve got a case to win.”

He helped you dress again, buttoning your shirt and waistcoat with nimble fingers. He was getting back to being your boss, and you couldn’t have been prouder of him at this moment. One day it will be you in his spot, you knew it.

“Just one question.” You said, fixing his tie and smoothening the wrinkles on his clothes. He raised an eyebrow at you, softly smiling at the mischievous look in his eyes. “What will happen once I am a lawyer too?”

Andy chuckled, pressing the softest of kisses on your lips. “Whoever wins more cases gets to be on top of course.”

You exited the men’s room with him, head high as any other man’s. As you entered the courtroom, you licked your lips and smiled as you tasted him on your tongue.

[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.” your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg