#MAYBE IM ANNOYED FOR NOTHING
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kms when basic questions are asked abt coding like 'what does new mean in this function' LIKE ITS. ITS IN THE NAME, ITS A NEW VECTOR3. WYMMFSHDFDSHFH
#MAYBE IM ANNOYED FOR NOTHING#CAUSE I KNOW CODING#BUT UAHDASUDHSAD#WE DONT NEED A 30 MINUTE LESSON ABT MEMORY ALLOCATING#personal.txt
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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im on a stage with 100s of people maybe 500 people in the audience and i tell a story into the microphone i am nervous and scared but am determined. when i finish my story 490 people leave without saying a single word. 10 people clap. One person comes up to the stage and says “good job” . This is what it’s like to write fic in 2025
#guys im like being so annoying rn but this is bothering me a lot#i love writing I started writing fic at 11 in a composition notebook before I even knew I could post it online#i write for myself but i post online for people to see#and yes i realize I do get quote unquote attention on my fics#but attention as I have just illustrated isn’t the same as engagement#do i seem ungrateful yeah maybe i am tbh#like maybe i am lol i guess cos I can’t shut up about this#anyway whatever lmfao im posting again today nothing can stop me#but I can complain about it#I can complain
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dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
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Youre telling me Dream got that Apple White treatment where they did nothing wrong (in apple's case, actively went through really good character development) and are still seen as inherently wrongful, blaming a six year old and a teenager for all the bad events in their stories
Both of them were ACTIVELY manipulated and sheltered by adults in their lives and try their absolute best to help people out of pure selflessness.
Dream doesn't need to apologize, he did absolutely nothing wrong, he was naive and trusted his brother to tell the truth about his injuries and was busy all day helping people- such evil incarnate. Headcannoning differently or having an AU that differs is fully fine to me, it's just people who actively believe that Dream had any fault in the canon events that piss me off to no end


Would you look at that! This isn't to say Passive was at fault either, literally every action can be justified by 'he was six'- they weren't the most emotionally mature, because they were six. They weren't the most perceptive of each other's pain- because they were six. They wouldn't have been able to do anything about it if they knew, because theyre were six.
Apple ALREADY apologized- I'm sorry you think Dragons Games took that away but it absolutely didn't, she was being blackmailed and manipulated during her vulnerable moments by the literal most evil person imaginable, literally shut up sorry you cant forgive a teenager for making bad decisions when having her worldview shattered, i am not going to bother looking for screenshots of this because it would be every second of every movie and Apple centric episode go rewatch those if you'd like proof, maybe watch it with your eyes open this time around
[Insert obligatory apple tree and apple white link joke here]
#i dont do angry posts usually im just tired of seeing characters being hated on despite having done nothing wrong#maybe not hated in some cases but obviously people believe they're in the wrong#theres not just these two obviously but theyre on my mind right now#not targetted im just annoyed at people thinking nightmare deserves an apologu from DREAM of all people in the story#and not. yknow. the villagers or nim#in apples case ive seen more hate for her than the headmaster grimm or the evil queen#brother in christ he lied to her and told her all her friends were gonna die and told her to make sure raven signed#it was NOT subtle manipulation it was literally shoved in yalls faced what more do you want#dream sans#apple white#dream dreamtale#apple white apologist#i guess since yall wanna blame everything on her#ever after high#dreamtale au#my posts#my rants#undertale aus#utmv#posting this in hours where everyone is hopefully asleep#yes everyone in the world#cause i dont wanna make people mad fjdjf
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its killing me that spamton is going thru that situation where people hate woobifying fanon so much that they lean too far in the opposite direction and create fanon 2 where he's cartoonishly evil for no reason
#* ramblings#i get it i was there back when the salt route happened but. the game doesnt exactly portray him as only irredeemable#dont wanna say he did nothing wrong or contribute to the deltarune equivalent of vriscourse..#he's supposed to be the personification of spam and computer viruses yada yada and i wouldnt want it any other way#but the discussions about him are a bit frustrating specially regarding the weird route#like. he's some insane spiteful manipulative homeless guy with no real agency over his own life anymore#<- again not excusing the shit he does but like u can see why he's desperate#its says a lot about him that he gives you the thorn ring knowing full well what it can do but also#i hate when people act like He gives you the ring so its his fault and hes the one true irredeemable villain of the game#(even in the route where that shit never happens)#like bruh you control the buttons you press maybe just dont buy into the things the mentally unwell guy with revenge fantasies is saying..#it takes away the whole thing abt the weird route being the player's fault where you have the chance to turn back 1 million times#which annoys me a lot#but uhm back to spamton. his thing is that while hes not a good person There is an outcome where he doesnt kill everyone#and sort of warms up to the fun gang i guess..#(I got a bit emotional about kris getting reminded of him bc of the pile of hay Ok Leave me alone.)#he's just. nuanced i guess. due to the aforementioned lack of agency its your actions that decide how he ends up#And i chose that he gets to be around doing whatever the fuck with jevil on kris's pocket#so can twitter please stop showing me spamton discourse. Thank you#if he's so evil then why does he fold the moment he sees tenna kept his invasive species thing huh. take that liberals#<- k i figured it out. hes gay and evil#its scary to say anything about this guy kowing the cynicism fueled mischaracterization demons r looming overhead#all that im gonna say is that id appreciate if people came up with their own takes based on the stuff thats in the game instead of-#-mindlessly agreeing with one or two popular takes. art is a mirror of yourself and whatever you think of it should come mainly from you..
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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gay and stupid
#smth art#halftone#furry#queer artist#i made this for a Spotify playlist. very proud of how it turned out#long story short i developed a crush on a coworker very shortly after meeting him bc hes very cool and funny and cute#and we got along very well instantly. however nothing ever came of it bc hes the most emotionally unavailable person ive met in my life#so i just kinda Suffered™ for like 2½ years cycling through the stages of grief until acceptance finally stuck#now we're just chill. but i Did make a carefully curated playlist about it all and regardless of current feelings im very proud of it#its super specific and personal but also relatable and has a story arc to it (meeting->falling->pining->resentment->depression->acceptance)#anyway. i was thinking like hmmm i havent been doing digital art in a while and need to get back to that. whats a good lil warmup#to get me back in the vibe of it? and the idea popped into my head to do a cover for the gay and stupid playlist.#maybe ill link the playlist later! who knows! its very good after all#though theres a few specific songs on there that are Personal to the guy i made it about#like i dont think 'shelter' by porter robinson is especially relevant to an unrequited love playlist but. its there for My reasons.#theres also a nice flat no halftone or grunge texture version of this that ill throw in if i link the playlist later cuz why not#but im very happy with how this version turned out!!!#i did less layers this time and it was way easier#usually when i do like. a bunch of ink colors layered. i do 1 color per layer#but if im using more than 4 or 5 colors that gets SO unwieldy and annoying#this time i used 2-3 colors per layer and just made sure they wouldnt need to stack#it worked out rly well i think! and was WAY easier to work with after the colors were down
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I'm feeling sad but at the same time grateful for all the people who show love and kindness to me even after they get to know me
#it just too often feels like whenever i awake any interest and positive feelings in someone#any kind of love and kindness they show me will eventually be gone#because in the end i am uninteresting and annoying in many different ways#and i never try to hide this#some people just take longer to realize that what they saw in me was only ever in their head#im nothing and im not here to impress#although id like very much to be loved#maybe its possible only when it is the shell that is visible#but unfortunately thats not loving me thats just bullshit
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I am so crabby today and im taking things in a negative light that probably weren't intended to be negative but im just so irritated at work recently bc although this sounds conceited I am legitimately smarter/more skilled/know more trivia than a lot of my coworkers and because of that people come to ask for my assistance/thoughts/etc. very often (despite me being one of the lowest paid workers in the building) and recently people have started calling me "genius" or "doctor lastname" or "professor lastname" and even though its probably meant to be endearing today it just started pissing me off so bad... and im sure this is just me projecting right now based on previous sentiments people have expressed to me but im just tired of my general level of achievement and drive being a target for other people to either hate me for or poke fun at or be jealous of like its not my fault that my drive and incentive is different from yours, instead of focusing attention into what you're jealous of how about you put in the same decades of effort and dedication ive put in on my end!!! I didn't just pop out of the ground like this i work very hard to do the things I do!!! My life didn't just fall into my lap!!! Aaaarrgghhhh!!!!!!!
#this sounds so snobbish but im getting tired of it#i want to be able to celebrate my achievements and work on my goals and live my life without people getting upset because they arent me#what i do has nothing to do with other people or how i view them#im not trying to make other feel bad just by existing#and im not here to be poked fun at im here to do my job#and maybe im just taking things personally today when i dont need to but im just tired and annoyed and crabby#uggggghhhhhhh#like i dont want you to be jealous of me i just want people to be supportive#i like to help people i enjoy being useful#just stop throwing it back in my faaaaceeee
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obviously i dont want to do drugs/smoke/get high for all the normal reasons but another fear is that they're not going to work and i wont feel anything </3 like if my tolerance is already too high somehow and i overdose just trying to feel something
#they're giving me heroin. and it isnt even working#idk it's weird ive been given all kinds of drugs (medically) and ive never been high before. like even at the dentist#my brain just refuses to give up control and allow the medication to work in that way. i cant become relaxed/silly through any substance#laughing gas doesn't work NOTHING works. im gonna be drunk and feel the exact same 10 drinks in#i mean im glad i guess cuz i really really dont want to lose control of myself like that but it's kinda annoying#bcuz i would like to someday experience something people describe as “pleasure” and if i cant feel it naturally through being alive#and substances dont work either#maybe i never really will#txt#tw drug use#tw alcohol
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not really shipping anything in severance is making trawling the tumblr tag kind of a nightmare
#the closest i come to shipping is thinking innie!irving and innie!burt were cute together#but i also think outie!burt is 100% lying so that makes the tag annoying to scroll bc everyone seems to think fields is the evil one & both#their outies need to run away together#i just wanna see and discuss theories 😔#im intrigued by mark & gemma also - the orpheus/eurydice parallels got me - but we know nothing at all about gemma (cant wait until we do!!)#so i cant rlly ship that#mark & helly r are cute but they're more like a. teenagers w their first love sort of thing to me#yeah i just have mild feelings on all the ships so far#maybe theres a severance theories tag i can try and trawl#severance#tv#*
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sometimes i just think to myself. damn! i am a pushover. 🙃
#i neeed to assert myself moreee#like hey maybe i want my character to be respected. hey maybe i dont want to buy this for you. hey maybe i dont want to vc rn becau#BECAUSE im burnt out etc etc. i just dont like to be mean sniffle. i need to be more assertive but also i dont want to be meaaaannnnn#maybe i am just being cranky and annoyed due to multiple different things that literally have nothing to do with eachother and is#like. nobodys fault.#idkkkkkk. idkkkkkkkk i wish i could be telepathic and people would know what i mean just by looking at them#sorry i guess this has become a vent or aomething i suppose but also like.#i feel like ive kind of assigned myself to be the silly and happy go lucky person and whatever#and like yay i hope i am honestly. but im worried that like. the moment i stop being silly and start being serious or like something like th#that im going to get disrespected or im going to come off as really mean and just.#U#ghhhGHHHHHH#UGH!!!!! i think i am just cranky. frrowwwwnnn
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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i feel like this is perhaps not a popular opinion but the sort of infantilizing way fic writers (individual) talk about fic writers (group) on here is kind of annoying to me.
#the waffling back and forth between ‘so many fics are better than any book i have ever read’ and ‘you should never criticize fic writers bc#that’s like criticizing a child playing a game’ just kinda irks me lol#i know it is a hobby and i’m not trying to be a professional writer and im nothing special but#it’s still important to me and i treat it with some amount of seriousness you know#like in trying to defend writers it feels like saying i’m not really a writer#well maybe i’m not and im just being an annoying nitpicky baby about this lmao#i need a text post tag#maybe this is why i also really don’t relate to the whole why would i write it if no one is gonna read it thing#like idk. surely ppl draw or paint or do other art for themselves that they don’t have to share
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