#MISSSCARLAD

[missscarlad]

What is sleep?!

I remember when I was an exhausted new mom bringing my new born home. I knew this time would soon pass and I’d miss the late night feedings and diaper changes.

However, never in a BILLION years did I think that I would still be waking up several times a night with my EIGHT year old. Momma is exhausted.  Brandon has been having bad sleeping patterns for quite some time now, for some reason he is terrified at night. He sometimes tries to stay up all night just to “skip night time”.  I have been trying many different methods to try to get him to go fall asleep effortlessly and stay asleep.  

 1.       Melatonin: Melatonin occurs naturally in our body, I have tried out this natural sleep aid and it works wonders whenever I am changing Brandon out of his normal sleep routine. He falls asleep faster. melatonin helps control your daily sleep-wake cycles. 

 https://www.sleep.org/articles/melatonin/

  2.       Sleep Meditation: I love meditation, I helps me feel calmer and more at ease. I thought this might help Brandon with his bed-time anxiety. This video is about an hour long but Brandon is fast asleep 10-15 minutes into it. You can even read the rave reviews from others who have tried it.

 https://youtu.be/k4oS680-Dnw

  3.       Lavender Bath: Lavender essential oil has natural relaxation properties, I use 3-5 drops in Brandon’s bath water or bubble bath and the aroma helps him get relaxed and stay that way into bed time. You can even find lavender scented body soaps and lotions for your children if you wanted to take this step further.

 4.       Night Light: Brandon used to insist on having his light on or the tv on because he hated to be in a completely dark room. I invested in a clip on night light for his bed. It is adjustable and gives him enough light where he feels comfortable but isn’t too bright to the point that it interrupts his sleep.

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5.       Evening/Bed-time routine: I am a firm believer in routines. Brandon thrives in a routine driven environment. He likes to know when things are happening, and what’s happening next. The most important part of having a routine is sticking to it. I made an afterschool schedule for Brandon; I keep this on my fridge. Some days will be different, like weekends, but adjust accordingly and try to ease into big changes.

6.       “Comfy” bedroom space: If you create a safe and comfortable space for your child, they will want to be there. I make sure Brandon is super comfortable in his space before I send him off to bed. I like to be sure all his stuffed animals are nearby (this may be a different safe toy for your  child”.  I also make sure the temperature is ok for Brandon. Comfort feels different for all kids, make sure you find the right one and keep it this way every night.  

*Every night we read a bed time story- make sure it is a story long enough to make it until he/she is  fast asleep, and something he/she will be interested to hear about. Brandon loves to ask a lot of questions while I’m reading, this is also good boding time for us.

*Also – I try to make sure to tell Brandon I love him every night and remind him of how special he is !

 Hope these tips help—What are some of your bedtime routine tips ?

XOXO-

Scarla D

[missscarlad]

It happened to me

** I wrote this back in October but for some reason it took me until now to post** October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. like many Women AND Men I am a Domestic Violence survivor. This is something only my close friends and family know about, but as I look back I know it’s something that many people suspected. I was only 14 years old. A freshman in high school, excited about what this new stage in my life would bring. Along with all these new things came a new boyfriend. I remember we spent the entire summer together before school started, I was head over heels, thought he was so cute and perfect and that I was so lucky that a guy like him could like me. My school was a small school; so small that we only had 4 class rooms within a larger High school. of course my boyfriend attended the larger high school. Although my classes were no less than 10 feet apart, and no where near any of his classes, he insisted on walking me to class……every single class. During periods he would sometimes come and watch me through the class room windows. He wanted me to keep my coat on at all times. He thought everyone was attracted to me.  If a guy were to smile or say hello he would get furious. Very soon, things escalated and he started getting physical.

I had never even been in a fight before, and now the boy that I thought loved me was punching me in the face, pulling my hair, grabbing me by the neck and scolding me like he was my father. It was awful and I didn’t know what to do. I became a hermit, wouldn’t say hello to anyone , barely spoke to anyone at all and I allowed him to control me. I never told anyone about what was going on, I felt for some reason that these things were my fault, I was even afraid to lose him because I thought he would change for another girl and I would miss out on the great guy I thought he would be. It’s now over a decade later and this time in my life still affects me. I often still try to make sense of this. I never had a support system during this time and it’s partly My fault because I never spoke out about what was going on. Only 1 person ever stood up for me and I love and appreciate him to this day. I feel it’s my duty to tell even a little of my story so that people know it’s NOT ok. Someone that loves you will never try to purposely hurt you. We often think that jealousy is a sign of someone caring, but when it is met with anger and  manipulation, it is never good. I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am doing it to help bring awareness. That friend of yours that’s in love but always has a busted lip, a bruised arm and is not being their old self. Sometimes just asking “do you need help” could save a life. If you find yourself in this situation, ask for help, a friend, family member, co-worker there are even Domestic Violence hotlines.

Call 1-800-621-HOPE for the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline, or call 311 and ask for the Domestic Violence Hotline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

xoxo,

Scarla.D

[missscarlad]

Hi there! My name is Scarla Diaz and I am a Mother in NYC  raising an amazing boy named Brandon.

Thanks for visiting my blog , it truly means a lot to me. I started this because I have so much to say but I am so painfully shy that writing my thoughts and feelings down seemed like the best thing to do. I want to share with you my struggles and my greatest moments. I want to learn about YOU! In here you’ll learn about my favorite books of the moment, latest DIY’s, makeup tips, relationship advice (not that I’m an expert) , my parenting struggles and more. I have so much I want to share and I hope you can share with me too! Welcome!

xoxo,

Scarla.D

P.S Hope you like my mug!

[missscarlad]

#MommyMondays

Toddler Tantrums.

Before I was a Mother, when I would see a child having a tantrum, screaming,crying and throwing themselves on the floor; I would wonder 'why can't that woman control her child?!'. Welp, I am now the woman with the screaming toddler gripping onto the $30 toy when I just walked into the store to buy toilet paper. It's pretty embarrassing sometimes, but I try to remain calm,we can't both act out of character. It's sometimes tempting to give in just to get through the tantrum and prevent a melt down. After a few minutes of this I'm sweaty and exhausted from trying to compromise with my child,my favorite tantrum move of course is when I'm holding his hand and he does the full body drop(oh joy).One day it hit me, I said to myself "Scarla, You're in charge!". I simply said "NO, we came here to buy 1 thing, when you learn to behave you will earn fun things " this took a few tries to work and it doesn't happen every time,but it helps me feel less defeated at the moment. At home the time-out method works best,I do 1 minute per year, so 3 for B. This is actually very effective. He usually apologizes afterwards, I try to explain to him after every time out what the reason for his punishment was, to try to teach a lesson, face to face talk. Us Mommy's can sometimes get flustered and resort to yelling, but these are our little ones, let's show them the respect we know they'll appreciate, they are still learning and growing.

What's your best discipline method during a tantrum ?

xoxo,

Scarla.D

[missscarlad]

Mommy Monday's

      Featured Mommy of the week!

What is your name? Alyson

What is your age group ? 18-25

How many children do you have? I have two girls, one is about to be 1 and the other is 9.

What is your favorite part of being a Mother? Never truly having to be alone and they make me a better person.

Can you give other moms and parenting tips or tricks? Patience goes a long way when parenting. Be stern,but know that you can still be silly with your kids, after all they are still only children.

What is your favorite go to meal? Anything that doesn’t spill. Finger foods mostly. Chicken Nuggets,Tangerines (I think that’s fingery), a cold cut sandwich or PB&J. I also recently bought the cup that lets you hold crackers and a drink in the same cup. Best thing to buy them. There was less crumbled Ritz crackers and spills.

Try this one! OR This one!

Are you a single parent? Yes, I am

What is the hardest part about this? Having to rely on myself for almost everything.

Can you share a story of your choice with other Mommy’s out there? I always ask my eldest daughter “Who are you not going to be like?” and she knows to answer “not like you mom”. It isn’t disrespecting me because I told her that. I am proud of myself and where I have gotten even with two children and being a teen mother, but I want her to want more, I want her to be greater than I ever was. It’s a struggle being a parent, especially a teen mom, especially a single young parent, but always make sure to strive for better not only for you, but for your children. Don’t coddle them, make sure they know they’re loved and that you will be there for anything, but they need to work just as hard to be better off. Nothing in life is given. Some just have to work harder than others.

                          These are Alyson’s beautiful girls!

Thank You for your contribution to MissScarlaD.com, Your time and efforts are greatly appreciated. I am trying to build a community where Mother’s can share stories, successes and hardships, tips and tricks , happiness and sadness with Mommy’s everywhere.Everyone is different and I thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse into your life.

* If you would like to contribute to #MommyMondays please send an email to MissScarlaD@gmail.com

[missscarlad]

Read My Lips

So if you’re in your mid twenties like me,you’re probably rushing trying to get your life together. RELAX we have tons of time.Slow down, Make mistakes,meet people, fall in love,go to school or jump start your career. Life is not a check list.We don’t all have to go straight to college out of High school,Graduate with honors, get a killer internship and meet the love of our lives along the way…yeah we all know that song, first comes love, then comes marriage…blah blah,yadda yadda! Do what YOU want to do,but remember 30 is NOT the new 20.

I recently picked up this book,The Defining Decade - Why your Twenties matter and how to make the most of them NOW- Author, Meg Jay PhD. The book is about a clinical psychologist and her personal experience working with twenty-something year old’s.

Its “AH MAY ZING”

The book is broken down into three parts

WORK,LOVE & THE BRAIN & BODY.

Some of my favorite topics mentioned were

"The strength of weak ties"  Which made me look at work from an entirely different perspective.

"The cohabitation effect",Many people can live together , but can they build a life together ?

"Forward thinking" forward thinking in our adult life is what helps us solve adult dilemmas,our entire life we are problem solving.

I really recommend this book to not only twenty-somethings, but people in their 30’s,40’s and 50’s.There’s so much to learn!

                                            Pick it up HERE!

I hope you enjoy.Let me know whats on your reading list for the month!