#ML regression

[silversailormoan]

The thing about Jinjae that took me way too long to realize that. Its not about a cold, bored guy finding someone interesting and then the curiosity slowly turning into genuine feelings or whatever. He's always cared for Yoojin since the beginning– as an item, as a business partner, as a friend, as a lover.

Not all of those dynamics had been the healthiest, but Yoojin has been loved, all the same. The development over the course of the novel was not Hyunjae learning to love someone, it was him discovering the way that Yoojin wanted to be loved– as an equal.

[queenangst]

tripped face first into reading isekai/regression/revenge manhwa but having to drop half of them bc i hate the romance . im in hell

[purrincess-chat]

I think a mistake a lot of people are making with this new season is expecting it to be like the other seasons before it. They've said several times now that s6 is a soft reset. That's why it feels like a regression to some people, but in a sense they had to give the characters bases to build off of moving forward. And as we can already see, they're starting plotlines for a lot of characters to move forward. I mean they've confirmed what? 10 seasons now? They're building. We've seen like 4 episodes. And not even in order. But I still see people griping about shit that doesn't make sense, and I'm like yeah babes bc we haven't seen the whole season yet. As Thomas said, we are building a puzzle. Quit yapping that the picture doesn't look good or is messy when we've only put in 4 pieces. And for the love of God stop getting salty over trailers. It's been known in this fandom for years that the trailers are intentionally misleading. Some of yall get so pressed about plotlines that you invent in your brains ahead of the episode, then when that shit doesn't happen you pivot and try to cram what did happen into your mold so you can be mad about it.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

hesphael makes me so gngnggnghhhh because on the surface ephael is the stupid and boisterous one, and hestio is the sullen and serious guy with common sense and who keeps ephael in line. And then you peel them back a little and you realise that actually they're both fun-loving little guys - both hestio and ephael will gang up on their nearest victim (tesilid/ash) with lots of cheer. And then you peel back them even more and you realise that actually, much more than Hestio putting up with Ephael's careless attitude, Hestio is the super prissy fussy princess and everyone around him are the ones who are indulging him. And at the same time, Ephael is actually generally very level-headed and calm, and there's been multiple instances of him holding Hestio back. And that in a world where aura users are quite rare, Ephael is a advanced aura user while Hestio is a weak fragile supporter who yells "Hey Ephael!!! Take better care of your delicate supporter!!" with zero shame. Ephael may be the one who's always getting scolded and snarked at by Hestio, but he's definitely the one who's in charge of making sure Hestio doesn't accidentally kill himself. Do you get it do you get it.

[pearlietomb]

LMAOOOOOOO

I’d like someone to try and say that he doesn’t see her romantically here, because the skinship says otherwise, he never knew affection beforehand, so for it to come this naturally speaks volumes.

I had to hold back a squeal at 4am!!

Title: Your Majesty: Please Spare Me This Time

Status: COMPLETED

[plumsaffron]

Marinette, The Miraculous Jester.

[waaanderingluna]

🥀 𝕸𝖞 𝕾𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝕰𝖓𝖊𝖒𝖞, 𝕿𝖍𝖞 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝕳𝖚𝖘𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉

.

.

.

《𝚆𝙴𝙱𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻》

[sky00asara]

Who else dislikes hates the "chasing my wife to the crematorium" trope, especially when the MC takes them back? Like sweetheart your ML most likely caused you to go through all kinds of hell so why take them back?!???! It an awesome trope when the MC gets revenge but I absolutely lose interest when the scumbag is whitewashed

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk today

[vreddicted]

Season 1 ended with 62 episodes.. Thankyou so much for your hard work Suni-nim and team! Rest well~

I will wait for season 2 <3 <3

Title : 악마는 레이디를 키운다 Artist/Author : CHT,수니,이르

Read on Kakaopage or Kakao Webtoon

Music : SEVDALIZA - ALIBI FT. PABLLO VITTAR & YSEULT

*Disclaimer : these images in the video belongs to the author not mine

[calina12]

While I was already at it, afterwards I realised that in the episode before, Emotion, the writers started this offscreen development thing to which Marinette then only gives vague lip service to claim that she "took full accountability and is now totally a change person who shouldn't be criticised".

Only that in Emotion too Marinette was written to be full blown pouting while she begrudgingly replies to Alya that, YES, Adrien is allowed to come, go, and do whatever he wants.

I don't have the gif right now, but together with Pretention its honestly a quite questionable look. Marinette was upset by having to accept and voice that Adrien is his own person. That her obsessive and controlling tendencies this whole time had to be acknowledged as not healthy and she has to stop.

Its bad enough that Marinette as PROTAGONIST apparently "couldn't" have this crucial breakthrough of one of her main flaws anywhere near onscreen and we only get lip service mentionings so the show can let us know that Marinette officially cant be criticised anymore

But combine that with the fact that Marinette is full blown pouting and upset both times she has to do even just these little moments of lip service to accountability and you honestly get a pretty bad looking picture that perfectly explains why Marinette in the season 6 trailer is back to jealously stalking Adrien because he spends time with someone else than her

Of course she'll immediately regress the second she feels like it. Thats to be expected whenever accountability is always merely taken and voiced while growling through your teeth and with 17 excuses on your lips for why you weren't actually in the wrong

Look, I know one shouldn't be so harsh on how badly it was handled that Marinette never has to face any push back from Adrichat for her own massive flaws, and instead she's just validated and all her wrongdoings get swept under the rug

But I still think it's WILD that Marinette in Pretention was made to at least somewhat acknowledge in front of Adrien that her stalking was bad, and yet she straight up justified it by saying "I did it out of love" (which only make her sound MORE like an ex-stalker???) while full blown pouting that she has to even accept that "much" accountability in the first place:

Like, girl, come on. What even IS that? xD

It is almost hilarious how pissed Marinette was written to be about giving such minimal lip service to the character growth the show pretends she had somewhere OFF-SCREEN. She is literally acting like a person who wasn't actually held accountable but was forced into begrudgingly accepting that maybe what they did wasn't as perfectly justified as they thought and now is giving a puddle deep apology they don't truly mean.

---

Marinette only ever apologizes these days when she also has a justification, which makes her apologies sound just like a Youtube Apology Video(™): “I’m sorry if I offended the viewers, but I was totally justified (and therefore would do it again).” She only apologizes to placate the audience. And that scene isn’t even an apology, it’s her giving excuses because Kagami dared to call her out on acting no different from the Adrien fans Marinette herself was criticizing. The showrunners are trying so hard to counter common criticisms of the show to the audience and it shows.

It’s also really obvious that the writers think that “I did it for love” is a suitable excuse. This has always been the distinction between Marinette and the hordes of Adrien groupies the city of Paris is crawling with: Marinette loves him genuinely. All those other people just gush about Adrien and follow him whenever they spot him around town because he’s a hot model while Marinette gushes about him and follows him around because he’s a hot model who was nice to her that one time. Clearly that makes Marinette’s love more pure. Besides, Marinette has already claimed Adrien by the Right of Protagonist, so she has the right to know what he’s doing every moment of every single day while those other people are creepy stalkers.

I also find it hilarious that they make her talk like a recovered ex-stalker when, once again, the writers are claiming something that’s never been shown. There is no evidence Marinette has “recovered” from her stalking habit, because the reason she stopped stalking Adrien isn’t that she had some kind of realization that what she was doing was too far or uncalled for, it is that she stopped having a reason to stalk him. First she isn’t stalking Adrien because she’s convincing herself she’s no longer in love with him. Her not being in love means there’s no reason to stalk Adrien. After that Adrien starts dating her, meaning she already has what she wants: Adrien to herself, so there’s no need to stalk him to make sure no other girl sinks her claws into him. She might not really know Adrien at all, but she at least knows enough to know he’s loyal.

And, like, even after they started dating, Marinette has gone behind Adrien’s back to the Agreste Mansion because he’s “keeping things from her” or because she has to question Nathalie about his whereabouts. This girl is so obsessed with knowing every detail about what Adrien is doing, getting what she wanted only mitigates it. Which is why she’s back to spying on him with binoculars in the sneak peek for the upcoming season 6.

[nanaosaki3940]

Korean Manhwa/Webtoon Recommendation List (Romance-Fantasy Genre)

I recently got into the romance-fantasy (rofan) genre of Korean manhwa/webtoons and wanted to make a recommendation list about it. This is a recommendation list but I want to briefly talk about some newly released rofan manhwa that I really liked.

(My recommendation list will be divided into different categories so you'll be able to understand what kind of stories they are...)

So recently, I got into these newly released rofan manhwas:

The Wicked Ladies in Waiting 

The Promise Isn't Mine 

Turning the Mad Dog into a Genteel Lord 

Fallen to Paradise 

I Swear We're Just Friends 

Please Don’t Reply!

High Society 

The Wicked Ladies in Waiting

Yulia, who was born an orphan, was killed in exchange for falling in love with the Young Master of the Marjoram Family and was left on a snowy mountain. But when she opened her eyes, at the same location as any other day, she was rescued by the Commander of the Imperial Army, Carus. She was hit by a curse of being unable to die, and this is now her 8th life. After realizing that she would be stuck in the loop forever if she didn't take down the Marquis, she became a servant (2nd prince's lady-in-waiting) within the Palace to utilize the Royal Family’s power to demolish the Marjoram Family in her 8th life. I really love both the FL and the ML here. At first, the ML was suspicious of her when she revealed the truth to him in her 8th life that she had regressed back to the past 8 times, and each and every time she died in various ways, she encountered the ML and he somehow always tried to save her each and every life (even though he doesn't have the memories of his previous 7 lives like the FL). To make him believe her, she offered him help by predicting some future events that were going to occur later on because she had already seen or known about those events from her previous 7 lives. In this way, the FL saved the ML and his comrades' lives in this 8th life, and because of that the ML believed her regression story and offered to help her lifetime. Their relationship progressed well from suspicious strangers to trustful allies. Although we haven't seen much of them yet, I'm still waiting for some romance and fluff to happen in their relationship. The 2nd prince whom she works for and the 1st lady-in-waiting who is her colleague are also interesting characters and have immediately become the FL's good friends and strong allies just like the ML. The FL is strong, smart, and lovable, and the whole revenge plot is really interesting. You would love to see her succeed in her missions. Highly recommend this manhwa/webtoon.

The Promise Isn't Mine

When her twin sister Leyla, the Holy Maiden, suddenly disappears one day, the ordinary Elena finds herself having to marry Crown Prince Kyle, a man infamous for his ruthlessness, in her stead. After a dreadful marriage ceremony, Kyle demands that a certain promise be fulfilled, to Elena’s confusion. Elena and Kyle are actually childhood sweethearts btw. They've both been in love with each other since their younger days. The ML immediately realized who she was, but she didn't recognize him; although she does vaguely remember him from her past, but doesn't know that the man she married is the same boy from her teenage days. I can't wait for her to realize who he actually is; that he's her childhood sweetheart. Also, it's kinda funny how the ML and FL look like Iske and Ruby from "How To Win Over My Husband". However, this ML is a whole lot different from Iske since the ML is genuinely nice, kind, and caring towards the FL from day one. And not to mention that he's still in love with her and immediately recognizes her after meeting her so many years later again. Highly recommend this series.

Turning the Mad Dog into a Genteel Lord

Diarin, a priestess without any noteworthy family background or connections, always gets the toughest assignments. So when her boss tells her to help Ceres, a war hero, reintegrate into society, she decides to stop being a pushover and get as much as she can out of it, including a juicy promotion. But upon reaching Ceres’ manor, she’s greeted by a growling hound instead of a human. Tasked with the impossible job of turning the mad dog into a proper gentleman, she dedicates herself to caring for him. But his unexpected obsession with her was never part of her plan. This one is my No. 1 personal favorite at the current moment!! You can tell by the pictures how funny and hilarious this series is. I won't tell you guys anything more. Just go and read this one as quick as possible!! STRONGLY recommend this series!!!

Fallen to Paradise

Ange, the daughter of Duke Glaster, believes her life is all planned out as she is set to marry Philip Cardiner, the rightful heir to the throne. However, her plans are disrupted when Philip's brother, William Cardiner, schemes against him and removes him from the line of succession. In order to secure his power, William forces Ange to marry Aiden Fitzroy, an illegitimate child born between the emperor and a commoner. Will Ange learn to love the humble stranger she was forced to marry? Another hilarious yet very cute manhwa!! At first, the FL didn't like the fact that she was getting married off to the illegitimate son of the emperor and that the ML lived in the countryside and was also a farmer. The ML also found her a nuisance in the beginning because of her whining and throwing tantrums, but as time went on and they started to understand each other, they began to fight less and tried to get along. Romance also started to blossom between the two as they went on with their lives in the countryside on the farm by planting crops and vegetables and raising cows and pigs. I love how the FL, who was the Duke's daughter and was once the next crown princess, is now just a military officer/farmer's wife, and yeah sure, in the beginning, she used to complain about everything and anything, but she quickly went through a major character development, and now instead of whining and throwing tantrums, she tries to understand her husband and even willingly participates in the farming works. The ML was cold at first and found her annoying, but eventually he also later tried to understand her and her situation and started warming up to her. Very cute manhwa!! Highly recommend this!!

I Swear We're Just Friends

When Rienne transfers to the elite Alena Academy, she never expects Karcion, the most popular mage in school, to recruit her into his club and she definitely doesn't think he'll fall for her! But the grumpy Karcion soon makes it clear how much he adores her, and she starts finding him too cute to ignore. Still, he's a future duke and she's a commoner, so Rienne knows his feelings won't last. Can Karcion magic his way out of the friendzone? Or will Rienne prove they're just friends after all? A typical high school setting kinda story with enemies to lovers troupe; the only twist is that it's a historical fantasy story, not your typical modern high school romance. The FL is a cool smart girl and I loved her from the start. Meanwhile, at first, the ML is also shown to be this cool smart dude and is very popular in school but later it is revealed that he's actually a big tsundere crybaby and is very expressive when showing emotions which makes the FL want to tease him more and more whenever they interact. Since it's a high school romance in a historical fantasy setting, it has a different spin to it and has made the read very much enjoyable which was unexpected. Definitely check this one out! Highly recommend this series.

Please Don't Reply!

What’s worse than someone who leaves you on read? How about someone who doesn’t know when to end the conversation? Mira Hexen is cursed to always be the last one to reply for a whole year or she will be turned to stone. But that’s a bit difficult when you’re the chief of a company that produces a massively successful messaging device. Mira’s latest VIP client is Euryx Deyra, an extremely friendly duke who feels the need to respond to every little thing she says. If only she could just tell him to shut up already...! By reading the synopsis you can already tell where this story is going. Read only 4 chapters and found it really cute, funny, and wholesome. Definitely worth checking out. Highly recommend this as well!!

High Society

While scheming to get out of an arranged marriage, Cesare runs into Adele, a shoeshine girl from the slums. The two make a 3-month deal to help Cesare elude marriage. However, Adele is so different from the women he's met before that he can't help but be drawn to her. Okay, so this series might not be everyone's cup of tea since the ML is a super red flag, and the FL is kinda like a doormat. Sure she fights back from time to time, but since she's under a contract with the ML and he's the Duke of a powerful ducal family, she always can't say anything she wants to him. At first, the ML didn't care that much about her and didn't see her as a woman with whom he could have a potential romantic relationship but as time went on, he fell more for her beauty and personality, but there was a problem - the ML had already introduced the FL to the high society that she was his blood-related little sister. Now how could he have a romantic relationship with his so-called "blood-related little sister"? The thing is, the ML was trying to get out of this arranged marriage alliance that was set with this crazy woman from another powerful ducal family. But this marriage alliance was very important for political reasons and also to maintain a good relationship between those two families in the empire. But the ML didn't want to marry that crazy woman, so he found the FL (who was willing to help him out btw) on the streets one day, took her in, and used her as a shield to stay away from that marriage. How so? By offering the FL as the bride of that crazy woman's little brother. The FL would get married off to that crazy woman's brother while the ML won't have to marry that crazy woman anymore, and therefore with that, the alliance would still be made between the families without him getting married, of course. But what is he gonna do about this situation now that he's falling for the FL? Is he gonna let the FL go and let her get married to that crazy woman's little brother? Or is he gonna seduce her and make her his and only his?? The ML is super toxic and a huge red flag, but he's so fucking beautiful that I just can't, y'all!!! Like, look at his dimples OMG!!! Although the ML is super toxic and a major scumbag at times, the story is still super engaging not gonna lie. Highly recommend this to check it out!!

Also, here's the link to the photo gallery of Cesare Bonaparte, a toxic yet sexy and beautiful male lead - Link

Now the entire recommendation list I mentioned earlier:

Regression Genre (the FL goes back to the past):

The Fantasie of a Stepmother 

The Redemption of Earl Nottingham

Marriage of Convenience 

Baroness Goes on Strike 

Please Marry Me Again!

June Peach

Saving My Sweetheart 

My Sweet Enemy, Thy Name is Husband

I'm the Queen in This Life

I Am the Real One

The Contracted Grand Duchess 

The Villainess Lives Again 

The Taming of the Tyrant

Leveling Up My Husband to the Max

Why Are You Obsessed With Your Fake Wife? 

Adeline's Darkest Night

I Tamed My Ex-husband’s Mad Dog 

The Empress of Ashes 

The Tyrant Wants to Be Good 

The Duke's Bored Daughter is My Master 

Rewriting My Husband's Tragic Ending 

You Mustn't, Your Majesty! 

I Shall Master This Family 

My In-Laws Are Obsessed With Me 

The Villain’s Daughter Plans To Run Away 

The Grand Duke is Mine 

Seducing the Lady's Lover 

The Villainess Needs Her Tyrant 

Crazy Like a Fox 

So I Married the Abandoned Prince 

While I'm Back in Time, I'll Get My Revenge 

Are We Still in Love? 

I Accidentally Tamed the Duke 

I’m Done Being Your Best Friend 

I Tamed the Male Lead Who Tried to Kill Me 

The Villainess's Road to Revenge 

The Villainess Behind the Mask

The Crimson Lady

Please Obsess Over Me

Let Me Die in Peace!

Libera Me

What the Duke Picked Up in the Forest

Peony: Dreaming of the Dangerous Grand Duke

Reincarnation/Transmigration Genre (the FL is reincarnated/transmigrated into a novel/webtoon/otome game)

I Am the Villain (Sejji) 

My Little Tyrant

Secret Lady 

Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story

The Villainess is a Marionette

Author of My Own Destiny

Father, I Don't Want this Marriage

The Monster Male Lead Living Under My Bed

Behold the True Villainess

Beware the Villainess!

Villains are Destined to Die

I Fell Into a Reverse Harem Game!

I Met The Male Lead in Prison

An Extra Stole the Male Leads

I Will Become the Villain's Poison Taster

Elissa's Whirlwind Marriage

Fortune-Telling Lady

How to Win My Husband Over

The Villainess's Maker

Viola Tames the Duke

The Beloved Bashful Villainess

My Ray of Hope

Who Made Me a Princess?

The Heiress's Double Life

The Villainess's Blind Date Is Too Perfect

Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion

Writing My Male Lead's Happily Ever After 

Villain Duke's Precious One

My Sister Picked Up the Male Lead

I Bought Land, Not a Man!

Just the Male Lead's Friend

The Villainess Flips the Script!

I Met the Male Lead in Prison

The Viridescent Tiara

Philomel the Fake

I Married the Male Lead's Dad

The Villainess's Stationery Shop

The Rules of Rose Ivy Manor

The Tyrant's Only Perfumer

Your Ultimate Love Rival

I Hold the Tyrant's Heart

I’ll Become the Heroine in This Life

I Became the Tyrant's Dishonest Adviser

Divorcing My Tyrant Husband

Contractual Marriage to a Surly Duke

It Was Love at First Sight, Mr. Villain! 

Lia's Bad Ending

The Villainess Just Wants To Live In Peace!

How to Tame the Merciless Villain 

Grand Duke of the North 

The Monster Duke Mistook Me for His Wife

The Fake Saintess Awaits Her Exit 

The Terminally Ill Villainess Refuses Adoption 

Wicked No More 

I Became the Young Villain’s Sister-In-Law 

I Became the Villain's Mother 

I Became the Mother of the Evil Male Lead 

The Sea Captain's Bride 

Living as the Villain’s Stepmother 

The Rewards of Marriage

Flirting with The Villain's Dad

Childcare Diary With the Villain 

I Became The Stepmother Of An Irrevocable Dark Family

Beloved by the Male Lead's Nephew

I Ended Up Raising the Children of the Female Lead and Male Lead 

I've Become a True Villainess 

I Didn't Mean to Seduce the Male Lead!

Becoming the Obsessive Male Lead's Ex-Wife

My Personal Favorite Transmigration Stories:

Kill The Villainess

Charming the Duke of the North

The Strong Empress:

Remarried Empress 

I Abdicate My Title of Empress

FL as Knights:

The Age Of Arrogance 

The Night Without Shadows 

Runaway mothers:

How to Hide the Emperor's Child

The Vanished Duchess

Smutty or Spicy Goods:

Please Kill My Husband

Winter Wolf

Beast’s Flower 

Tempting My Salvation 

The Bondservant

Toxic MLs:

My Husband Who Hates Me Has Lost His Memories

Bitten By The Dog I Abandoned

The Mistress Runs Away 

The Problematic Prince 

Others:

I Belong to House Castielo

Obsidian Bride

It Was All a Mistake

My Secretly Hot Husband 

Taming the Marquess 

Royal Marriage

Lady Evony

A Royal Princess with Black Hair

When You're in Love

Raising My Fiancé with Money

Catherine's Key to a Happy Life 

Lips Upon a Sword's Edge 

Little Rabbit and the Big Bad Leopard

I Stan the Prince

Becoming the Lady of the Cursed Ducal House

Betrayal of Dignity 

My Beloved Oppressor 

Your Eternal Lies

What It Means To Be You

Lies Become You

The Psycho Duke and I 

From BFF to Obsessive Hubby

I Listened to My Husband and Brought In a Lover

My Husband Changes Every Night

The Elegant Sea of Savagery

My Unexpected Marriage 

Seducing the Monster Duke

The Duke's Cursed Charm

Here Comes the Silver Spoon! 

I Don’t Want to Be a Lady

Married to a Duke Called Beast

I Don't Love You Anymore

Disobey The Duke If You Dare

When Fate Finds Us 

Like A Wind On A Dry Branch 

The Price of a Broken Engagement

My Three Tyrant Brothers

Searching for My Father 

A Tipsy Marriage Proposal for the Emperor

The Villainess Empress's Attendant 

Trash Will Always Be Trash

The Last Straw

Carnephelia's Curse is Never Ending

To My Husband's Mistress 

Go Away, Romeo 

Ones that came out this 2024, but I haven't check them out yet (but I will do it very soon...):

A Beast Swallowed by a Flower

Traces of the Moon

I Was Tricked Into a Fraudulent Marriage by the Obsessive Villain

An Unexpected Proposal

No, I Only Seduced the Princess?

Until The Real One Shows Up

I’m Unmarried With a Time-Limited Lover

The Youngest is Trying to Prevent the End of the World

Reasons for Avoiding the Perfect Guy

Confined Together with the Horror Game’s Male Lead

I Became The Tutor of The Royal Twins

Till Divorce Do Us Apart

I Thought You Were A Time-Limited Husband

Now Come and Regret

The Villainess Captured the Grand Duke

Corrupting the Heroine’s First Love

[dazed--xx]

🌒Rewriting Destiny🌒

Member: Duke! Chan x reader

Word count: 16k

Trigger warnings: ANGST, Death (FL), psychological, trauma, poisoning, parental neglect/abuse, arranged marriage, anxiety, Nobility, engagement at a young age, regression, murder, revenge, mentions of magic, PTSD, manipulation, regretful ML, Resentment, betrayal, classism, 17th century ideals, homophobia(mentions), SOME!historical accuracy, LOTS! of historical inaccuracies, BREAK UP!, grief, mourning, denial, failure to let go, etc…

A/N: God damn this mf long lol, this has taken fucking forever but I worked really hard on it and HAD to break it into two parts because of the length. Part 2 will probably focus more on Chan 'redeeming' himself and their relationship in the current timeline and more flirty moments. BUT I really hope you guys enjoy this one

Love….

What is love, truly?

If you were to ask her mother; Love is weakness. A nuisance and any signs of it will be dealt with accordingly.

If you asked her personal maid; She’d say love is a burning passionate inferno you must work hard to be sure it doesn't extinguish.

For Y/N; Love is torture. It grabbed a hold of you like a boa constrictor, engulfing your entire being before slowly squeezing the life out of you. She sat quietly as her maid, Aera, brushed her onyx tresses. “I heard His grace has returned from his expedition. Shall I make you extra pretty so you can give him your greetings, My lady?” Area questioned with a sad yet hopeful smile. Y/N looked at her through the mirror, “His grace would prefer to return on another year-long expedition than have my greetings” She commented softly. Her voice never wavered though, she was dying inside. “No…rather set up tea and snacks in the garden for the returning knights and his grace. Also, have the cooks prepare a hearty meal for them for dinner. The expedition may have contributed to strengthening the knights but they have a habit of neglecting their health.” She continues. Area nods as she finishes doing Y/Ns hair.

“And if his grace asks for your whereabouts?”

“I will be in my study” Y/N answers, knowing it made no difference.

Though it had been a year since she had last seen her husband. Her heart always shook in fear and excitement when he would return home from his expeditions. She sat at her vanity, taking a deep breath as her mother's voice rang in her ear. ‘If you fail as the Dutchess and don't produce an heir; You would beg for my punishment in comparison to the power of the Bang Dutchy.’ She flinched at the memory, her arm lifting in a defensive position as she waited for the strike that hadn't come in 10 years. She lets out a sigh of relief as she's brought back into the luxurious bedroom. Her breathing is shaky as she lifts herself from her seat. Her hands tremble as she brings herself in front of her bedroom door, she hesitates as she reaches for the handle. Just quickly make your way to the study. She tells herself; Keep looking forward and go to the study…Her heart feels like it could pound out of her chest as she pulls the door open. Out into the battleground that is the Dutchy. Out of the safety of the cage that is her bedroom.

It had begun shortly after she had arrived at the manor. The whispers from the maids and butlers about the Count's temptress of a daughter who tried to seduce the Duke at 8 years old. She learned early on that responding to or acknowledging such rumors was unbecoming of a Dutchess. Y/N winced as she remembered the stinging of the riding crop against her spine, from her attempt to speak against her sister-in-law, Kari, who was cheerfully laughing with her friends over the matter. She learned quickly, that her mother was correct. Failure, Weakness, and Disloyalty will be quickly snuffed out in the Dutchy. Her sister-in-law held reign over the staff and managed the household, ruling with an iron fist. Despite her title, to survive, Y/N lived as Kari’s dog.

While she was expected to represent the Dutchy at social gatherings, the nobility always referred to Kari for anything. Y/N was the Dutchess by title only. Aera, who came with Y/N from the county; Would complain late into the night about the other staff's mistreatment of her master. The many nights Aera would stay up with Y/N pleading for her to put in a formal complaint with the Duke.

She couldn't…

When she had married Chan, he had only one request after their wedding night. “Do not approach me beyond our scheduled meetings” so she remained with her head down allowing Kari to maintain her position. While she enjoyed remaining in the shadows. She could see the cogs spinning in Kari’s mind. The leash around her neck was tightening. New rules had been implemented courtesy of her ‘Husband’ and his return from his expedition.

The Dutchess is to be moved to the Rose annex

The Dutchess will refrain from returning to the main manor

The Dutchess may never needlessly approach the Duke.

The Dutchess will begin taking contraceptive potions nightly, immediately.

Y/N sat at her desk looking over the declaration once more. She was confused. It was normal for Chan to ask for her presence to be absent when he returned home; he'd usually requested to speak with her to discuss living arrangements as well as a schedule for ‘night meetings’ to keep appearances that they were trying for an heir. Y/N felt slightly disappointed, Chan had requested for her to take a medicinal potion that has proven harmful to her health. She sat for hours staring blankly out the window. The signs were beginning to appear one by one. The family she had married into had lost use for her...

Y/Ns blood ran cold as she came to the realization. The move to the annex, the maids becoming more and more ruthless, and the lack of guards around her annex becoming more frequent. Her time is slowly coming to an end. She wondered if there was a point to all of this. Would there be a point in running? Her mother would hunt her down and skin her alive if she did. ‘Die a respected Dutchess rather than run and be a divorced beggar’ she could hear her mother say. Y/N watches as the blue clear sky fades into a bright purple and orange hue.

A knock on her door pulls her attention away from her thoughts. “Yes?” She calls monotonously. “The Duke is in the receiving room, My lady.” Area calls softly. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My lady?” Area calls once again when she doesn't reply. “I-Im coming! I apologize, Aera.” Y/N replies as she shakily lifts herself from her seat. The whole walk to the receiving room Y/N worried.

Why was he here? He's never visited of his own accord. What could be happening? Would he cast her out himself? A petite hand grips her own pulling her out of her thoughts. Y/N stares at the owner, as Aera gives her a comforting smile. Y/N lets out a sigh, the butler pulls open the door. She hesitates for a moment, it had been a year—one full year, since she had last seen her husband. A lot could change in a single year. She feared how her husband had changed; it was never good for her. She entered the room, her heart sank into her stomach. There he sat, at the head of the room. A flurry of maids standing about waiting on baited breath for his every command. His hair was no longer the clean-cut style but overgrown, sitting raggedly over his forehead and disheveled. Evidence of his bath dripping onto his loose black shirt. He sat a scowl on his plush lips as he sipped his tea. “To what do I owe the honor, Your grace?” Y/N questioned monotonously. “Should I have a reason to visit my dear wife?” He states smugly as he places his tea on the table in front of him. “Especially when I do not receive her greetings after a year-long monster-hunting expedition and come to discover she no longer lives in the same house as me?” Y/N stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “Your grace?” She stammered “Please, take a seat” He gestured to the loveseat in front of him, his face no longer containing any emotion.

Y/N sits nervously as she begins to question her husband. “I apologize, but what do you mean? I’ve received your letter and followed your instructions.” Chan furrowed his eyebrows as his ears perked up “What letter?” Y/N's attention is pulled away from him by the slight clink of a teacup being placed on the table in front of her. Y/N's eyes remained focused on the maid for a moment, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but something felt…off. “Have you gone deaf in the past 5 minutes?” Chan questions frustratedly. Y/N shakes her head taking hold of the teacup and taking a sip. “No, I apologize. I've not been feeling well today” Y/N states calmly. Her throat begins to feel a small burning sensation. “What letter? When did you receive a letter from me?” Chan asks stoically. Y/N coughs slightly “My apologies, I received your letter about one months time ago” She takes another sip of tea trying to alleviate the growing discomfort. Chan stares at her with his eyebrows raised “And you are sure it was addressed from me?” her throat begins to burn incessantly. Her eyes widen as her mouth fills with a coppery tast as she coughs again.

“My lady?!?!” Area exclaims worriedly “Y/N?!”

Only then does Y/N make the connection. The maid—She works in the main manor, and she’s Kari’s personal maid. Y/N stares at the teacup in her hand, dropping it in a panic. Her eyes meet Chan’s for a moment. He sat stoically, but his eyes never once left her. Y/N rushes to her feet, reaching out for her personal maid “Aera!” She calls. Her tone gurgles and hoarse as crimson cascades out of her mouth. Her legs give way beneath her as she feels arms around her. The room begins to grow blurry as she feels the life fading from her body.

No…No not yet, please God! Don't let me die! I didn't get away…I-I was never happy please! She prays God please let me be happy. “If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…” She croaks as everything fades to black.

Her eyes shot open as she felt breath return to her lungs. Her hands trembled at her sides, her heart pounded in her chest. The familiar white walls with gold accents has her in a daze as she pulls herself from the duvet and rushes toward the window. My parents estate…She lets out a sigh as she steps back toward the bed. A warm soft wall blocks her path, “oomph” she hears from behind her. “M-My apologies, My Lady” a petite gentle voice called. Y/N's eyebrows furrow as she scans her maid's face. Aera looked…different—younger even. “I-I’m Aera…” she continued.

“What?” Y/N questions bewildered “Why are you introducing yourself to me? Am I at my parents estate?”

Aera gives her a befuddled expression “Pardon?”

“I know your name Aera, you've worked for me for 10 years now.”

Aera shakes her head at Y/Ns words “No, My lady. Today is my first day…” Y/N freezes for a moment. “Bring me a mirror!” she requests firmly. Aera rushes to her vanity and hands her a jade-handled mirror. Y/N stared at the object with shock and disbelief. How could this be possible? She wondered Kari had one of her maids destroy this on my wedding night…How—She flips the mirror, gasping in shock she's met with a youthful version of herself. Her cheeks were no longer sunken in and now sat a lively pink. Her skin and lips no longer pale and cracked. The scars from Kari’s punishments no longer decorated her hands and arms.

Did God hear her prayers? Has time gone back?

“Aera!” Y/N calls in an almost chipper tone. The young maid's ears perk up as she waits for a command. “Yes, My lady?” she answered eagerly. “You said it was your first day, correct?” Y/N questions kindly remembering how meek and nervous the young maid was when she first started. Aera nods profusely “Yes, My lady. The count and countess said I will be going with you after your marriage as it is customary.” she explains. Y/N smiles at her, their memories from the past 10 years flow through her mind. “Yes, I have heard as such” She states with a soft nod. “Take care of me well...” Y/N sighs happily “I will do my best!” Aera exclaims excitedly. “B-But, My lady?…May I ask why you said I have worked here the past 10 years?”

Y/N freezes for a moment. She didn't understand it herself. Had I really gone back in time? Could it have been a prophetic dream? How could I answer her? “I tend to get confused after a long sleep, My apologies” A loud bang on her door startled both of the young women. Y/N hears a familiar voice, her nanny, pleading with someone on the other side of the door. The familiar call of her nanny's voice has her rushing to the door and pulling it open. Her heart sinks to her stomach as she comes face to face with her mother.

A sharp sting on her cheek and the sound of skin connecting with each other rings through the air. Y/Ns legs give out beneath her as she stares up at her mother in shock, as she attempts to rack her brain in search of her mother's reasoning. It all felt too familiar “M-Mother…” Y/N stammered nervously. Her mother scowls at her “Have I given you permission to speak?” Y/N shakes her head rapidly; Her nanny and the maids stand frozen in their places as her mother brings her can down forcefully on her right hand. Y/N cries out in pain “I-I'm sorry!” she whimpers. “You should be. Not only did you have the sodomite escort you. The behavior you showed with that—that lowly Knight. You deserve worse…How dare you embarrass your family like that?!” Her mother scolded. Y/N shakes her head in denial as she finally remembers. “N-No…Hyunji—w-we were just talking—please!” She pleads trying to move her mother's cane from her hand.

“You are to be married to the future heir of the Bang Dutchy and you are galivanting with a knight. Smiling at another man in the same room as your fiancé.!” Her mother growled. “H-He’s a knight of the Bang Dutchy. I should be acquainted with my future people…” Y/N tries to argue to no avail. Her mother lifts the cane holding it firmly in her hand as she brings it down harshly on Y/Ns spine. Y/N cries out painfully “Stop!”

“Stop?! You behave like a courtesan and you expect not to be punished?!” Her mother brings the cane down in 3 quick whips.

“Countess! Countess! The bruises may not heal in time for the wedding!” Her nanny pleads “She learned her lesson…please!” Y/N stares at the ground burying the pain and tears as her mother taught her oh so many years ago. “Don't embarrass this family more than you already have.” her mother warns before turning and exiting the room. Y/N released a breath she didn't realize she was holding as the maids quickly shuffled around her. Bringing her to her feet and rapidly cleaning the small traces of blood on the ground. Y/N stared blankly ahead as they continued to fret and fuss about.

It would almost be impossible to call off the engagement…Mother would kill me if I was somehow able to get the contract annulled. Kari will kill me if I get married….10 years is a lot more time to come up with a plan….I just have to either get Bang Chan to help me annul the engagement(which should be no problem considering around now is when he began to despise me) or run away before Kari can kill me…

Please!

Do something!

Y/N?!

Someone help me please?!

Why are you just sitting there?!

Y/N? Please…Im begging you!

Open your eyes!

Chan’s eyes flash open. His heart is pounding rapidly in his chest as he caresses his head. Sitting up in bed he feels dizzy, his vision slightly blurry. “Young Master. Please lie down…you drank quite a bit last night.” His aide, Felix, states with a disappointed frown. Chan shakes his head in frustration. “Wouldn't you?” He growls. Felix stares at him stoically. “I understand the future young miss upset you. But it was I who suggested she get acquainted with the knights…you did not need to overindulge”

Chan furrows his eyebrows “Future young miss? What are you talking about?!” Chan snaps “I'm not getting married again I told you this!”

Felix raises his eyebrow in confusion “Pardon? Again” Felix brings his hand to Chan’s forehead. “Are you not feeling well?” Chan shakes his hand off of him. Only then does he realize; Felix looked…different. It was Felix, he could clearly see it was him, but he was—younger! Chan quickly shoved his duvet to the side and rushed over to the large mirror across the room. His eyes widened as his youthful appearance came into view. “Felix?!” Chan exclaims excitedly as he touches his own face over and over “How old am I?!”

Felix stares at him like he's grown a second head “19?” He answers confused. Chan smiles at himself in the mirror as a laugh erupts from his chest. He takes a few steps back as tears fill his eyes. “It worked…” He whispers to himself. “It really worked…” A sob begins to crash over him like a tidal wave as tears cascade down his cheeks. “Young master?” Felix questions worriedly. Chan shakes his head in response. He won't understand….not anymore Chan thinks to himself. “Nothing” Chan sniffles quickly trying to pull himself together. “So about the young miss?” Felix questions. “It's just as you said. The rumors about her started because of your suggestion. You should get ahead of them and have any one that spreads false information dealt with immediately.” Chan states as his eyes grow dark.

His mind wanders to Y/N…A new life Y/N, I promise. I'll give you a new life. I'll make sure marrying me isn't your biggest regret this time. Her memories, her pain, her death. He prays it was all reset with this spell. He wished he could forget it all too. But now he had a chance. A chance to fix things. A way to make sure nothing bad could happen this time: a chance to protect her properly this time. “Felix what's on my schedule today?”

“A meeting with the Duke. Then to the training grounds after that, I believe Lady Kim wished to have tea to discuss your venture into her guild. After that, I believe the Dutchess has requested your presence at dinner tonight.” Felix explained studiously. Chan held back a snicker at the way his best friend behaved when they were younger. Remembering the astute Mage he's destined to become. “Tell Lady Kim, I apologize but I must go to the L/N County,” Chan states as Felix hands him a button-down shirt and black slacks. “Also, please inform the count Id like to speak with him.” Chan explains as he grabs his clothes and begins to dress himself. Felix places his hand on Chan's shoulder giving him a knowing but serious look as he shakes his head in disapproval. Chan sighs in frustration. God dammit…he does remember.

“Fine. Tell my father that I will be there soon”

Y/N strolled quietly through the garden as her mind wandered. How could she get away from here? She sighed; Her hands trembled slightly at how terrible the punishment would be for attempting to call off her engagement. The sun's rays danced upon her cheeks. The warmth embraced her comfortingly. Her greenhouse appears over the small hill leading off the property and into the forest. Her heart swelled in happiness. It had been so long since she had last seen her little oasis. After she had woken up in the past; her mother placed her on strict lockdown after the ‘stunt’ she pulled at the banquet. It was now 10 days until her wedding… She pouted to herself He's going to be visiting soon….She could remember vividly how it went the first time

*10 years ago- First timeline*

Y/N stood in the garden. A small smile on her lips as she helped the gardener with the Strelitzias. Her heart quaked in anticipation. She's going to be married in 5 days. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her fiancé would be arriving at any moment. Y/N couldn't contain the giddiness she felt at seeing her handsome raven-haired fiancé. She had not seen him for 2 years due to his involvement in the war. She had heard he returned a month prior

Y/N felt slightly disappointed when Chan did not come to see her right after his return. They had grown close over the past few years. She assumes that the war had left him fatigued and he needed rest. It had been odd to her that she had also learned of his return through the rumor mill and not from him. She had written him frequently during the war, though his letters have dwindled over the past year she still held out hope. Hope that he felt the same way. Hope for their future. Hope for friendship and mutual love. So as she returned back to her room and learned Chan was in the reception room, she quickly rushed to greet him. Her heart almost burst with excitement.

She smiled brightly as she entered the room. “Channie!” she exclaimed cheerfully as she made her way to the loveseat across from Chan. She freezes when he lifts his hand and a dark glare sits on his face. “Please refrain from using such childish nicknames. I am the heir to the Bang Dutchy; not one of your lowly playmates” He states monotonously. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion “I-I apologize, Your Grace” Chan nods boredly, he snaps his finger, and his aide, Felix, hands him a small stack of letters. “Also, refrain from doing this anymore as well. Our engagement and marriage are nothing but formalities. Do not allow yourself to be confused.” He tilts his head slightly with an arrogant smirk. “There is no reason to harass me with useless things while I am at war. I am only marrying you to inherit my rightful title.” He scolds. Tears build in Y/Ns eyes as she stares into her lap for a moment. She takes one…two….three shaky breaths before she quickly masks her emotions. “I made the mistake of believing we were friends. I apologize, Your Grace” She states meekly. Her expression is completely blank as she stared at Chan. “I do not recall myself telling you we are friends, I do not wish to grow a close relationship with you!” He snaps “I understand, and why is this? What have I done?” Y/N questions.

“A lowly Count’s daughter like you doesn't deserve to marry into the Bang Dutchy. You lack the education, etiquette, and overall quality to be the Dutchess…but since my mother is so insistent on this. Be sure to stay out of my way—both before and after our wedding. I will do my husbandly duties but do not expect love nor affection in our marriage”

*Present*

Y/N shuddered at the memory. She wished she could go back and smack herself for allowing him to belittle her in such an embarrassing manner. At the time, she sat still and properly lowered her head due to his words. This time, she will take any form of punishment from her mother just to make Chan the one flustered and utterly mortified. She'd lay down her life if that's what it takes to prevent the marriage she experienced before she came back in time. “My lady, why are you just staring at the door?” Aeras petite voice pulls her from her thoughts. Y/N jumps from the intrusion, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “I was just thinking…” she chuckles slightly.

“You have received a letter from the young master of the Bang Dutchy….” Aera states softly as she extends her hands holding a small letter tray with an envelope sitting in the middle. The Bang seal is a prominent fixture in the middle of the envelope. Y/N stares at the tray for a moment. What? He never sent me a letter before he arrived in my past life… why? She questioned to herself as her eyes never once left the seal. “My lady?” Aera asks worriedly. Y/N shakes her head in response as she takes the letter and opening it.

‘Dear Lady Y/N,

I apologize for not writing you sooner. War had taken hold of my mind and I could not allow myself to be distracted. I returned home a little over 20 days ago, and once again I extend my apologies. I must say, I find myself wondering how you are doing. My mind seems to be full of nothing but you. Have these two years been kind to you? My heart races in anticipation at the thought of our marriage. I know these past two years may have been difficult but as I am home now, I will take care of you. I hope to see you. I long to see you, my heart aches as these days pass and I am losing my patience. May I please see you tomorrow? You cannot imagine my longing. I shall wait for your letter.’

-Bang Chan

Y/N's eyes widen as her cheeks burn a bright scarlet as she reads the contents of the letter. Why did he say these things? Who was this person? How could things be so different than I remember? “Aera, Can you please bring me stationary and something to write with?” She requests flustered.

No matter how many sweet words may be exchanged…Our marriage is only destined for disaster.

Chan’s leg shook in excitement. He'd sent Y/N a letter just this morning yet, he was on the edge of his seat. Hoping she’d respond as she always did. He felt giddy at the thought of receiving one of her love-filled letters once again. He'd missed reading every passionate word. She wouldn't leave his mind. Her smile, Her soft expressions, the gentle honorable way she held herself. Everything about his fiancè had his body practically vibrating. He no longer wished to wait to claim his wife once again. He lost her in his previous life, long before the burning memory of her final moments continuously plagued his dreams nightly. He needed to see her, speak to her, and finally for once just hold her. He prayed for her letter to come soon. He contemplated just using his title to force his way into the County and planting himself beside her, but Felix warned against it. ‘Never force your emotions on a woman’ He explained. Chan felt as if he was going mad.

A knock on his door has him jumping to his feet. The sight of a letter in the butler's hand makes him rush to grab it off the tray. He stared at the letter, his finger tracing over the count's seal. He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge in his chest. He could remember how excited he'd get to receive a letter from her in his first life. Every letter he had received from her contained this seal. He could still remember how harshly he'd been forced to snap on her in his previous life about her letters. He scolded himself, but he never received another letter from her after that day. Even then, he regretted saying those words as soon as he uttered them. But at the time, the risk Kari posed in her life overpowered any feelings he had for his fiancè. He should have realized back then, that even if he distanced himself from her as long as Y/N sat on the Dutchess seat, her life would be in danger. His breath was shaky as he opened her letter.

‘Dear Lord Chan,

My apologies, your grace. I have been ill recently and cannot see you. Welcome back, as you understand rest is important to ones health so I believe it would be best to not see each other until I've regained my strength.

-Y/N L/N’

Chan's eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as it felt like his heart was shattering in his chest. No…Why? She's lying…Why is she lying? She's not sick…she wasn't in my previous life…so why? His hands shook at his side as anger and confusion bubbled inside of him. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down. Why would she lie? In the past, she was waiting for me! She loves me right now so why? I hadn't made any mistakes yet…….

Perhaps she was truly ill, yet he couldn't remember a single sign of illness from his previous memories. He can vividly remember her excitement, the cheerful way she exclaimed his childhood nickname. Is she avoiding me? No…She couldn't be…She loves me…She adores me…but what if—-his stomach churned. “No, there has to be an explanation.” He whispers to himself. “I should send the doctor there and—Felix!” He calls “Prepare a carriage!” He had to see for himself, he needed to see her—even just a small glimpse would satisfy this desperate ache. The memory of his beloved coughing up blood as she desperately clung to her personal maid, sent a sharp spear through his chest. Her final words ring through his mind ‘If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…’ He winced to himself. As the image of her body appears before him, he drops to his knees in a panic. His breath gets caught in his throat as he desperately reaches out toward the apparition. No! She's alive! She's alive now…I need to see her. I need to be absolutely sure everything is going right. “How am I supposed to continue waiting?!” Chan exclaims to himself as he clenched his fist slamming it on the ground.

“Patience…” A familiar deep voice responds. Chan lifts his head as he sees Felix holding Y/N’s letter. “Felix…—No. My memories may slowly be returning but I do remember how specific I was…nothing. And I mean nothing must change prior to your first meeting that day with Y/N. Your impatience can ruin everything we've worked for!” Felix cuts him off. “I don't remember this from before so why do you have another letter? When did you request to see her?” Felix questions. Chan shakes his head, “How did you expect me to just remain still and try to do things like before?! How can you expect me to not want to see her?!” Felix snaps his finger and the letter goes up in flames. Chan’s eyes widen as a look of horror decorates his features. “NO! What did you do?”

“I'm fixing the mistakes you made, lets hope things didn't change too much with this. I told you, there are consequences for even going back in time. Someone is still going to die. If you act before it is time, then that person will be Y/N again. The only person who can change things now is her. It's her life at stake. It's her fate! She's the only one permitted to mess with it. Things will go the same if you try too early. Remember, her memories aren't intact.” Felix states. “I will contact my resource in the county and give you an update on her okay? That is the most we can do until your paths cross as they did before.” He stares at Chan with a serious expression. Even at his small level of magic, his ability was terrifying. He implanted his memories to return slowly so as to not overwhelm his body with mana. Placing the unlocked mana of a high mage into his younger self could ruin any magic he had done before he turned back time.

“Can’t I just go see her…I will not interact with her. Just see her, she likes her garden so it shouldn't be too difficult to not be seen?” Chan asks desperately. Felix gives him an apologetic look. Chan feels himself deflate. Why didn't I see her when I first came home in my previous life? He whimpered to himself My beloved Y/N, wait for me.

Y/N’s hand trembles as her carriage approaches Bang Manor. She stared blankly into her lap, her hands looking almost smaller with the bright pink lace gloves sitting just above her elbow. The corsetted pink dress felt like pins and needles upon her skin. She adjusted the bust attempting to cover the very prominent cleavage. “Stop fussing with it!” Her mother growls. “It does not feel proper nor comfortable…” Y/N calmly states. Her mother closes her fan leaning forward with a smirk “Comfort, is a luxury you cannot afford. You need to look and behave perfectly.”

Y/N nods half-heartedly. “Men, no matter their title or accolades, cannot resist a womans ‘charm’ even a woman like you” her mother snides. “Mother, it is a garden party, for the women of high society. There will be no men.”

“Do you forget who's home this is?”

“How could I forget…” Y/N felt herself growing more and more frustrated at her mother's insistence on continuing the conversation. She did not wish to attend this garden party. How she wished her nanny hadn't been able to talk her mother down a few days ago now. In her previous life, Y/N begged and pleaded with her mother to allow her to attend this party. Her future sister-in-law personally invited her and her attendance was expected but, due to the banquet fiasco and the bruises left from her punishment, Y/N was forced to remain home while her mother attended the older women's party. Now that she knew what could possibly await her and Kari’s true nature, Y/N would do anything to not attend this party. She would have to remain alert and proper. She could not make a single mistake. Kari was as manipulative as she was beautiful. She was cunning and could destroy Y/Ns life with a single smirk. Y/N was the daughter of a lowly Count, though she had been engaged to Chan for 7 years now; Kari always liked to remind her of her position in society.

This garden party, in particular, Kari would describe as an introductory party. In her past, Y/N learned why Kari truly held these parties. Kari and the most prosperous daughters of the nobility enjoyed vetting and ‘playing’ with the hopeful ‘lower class’ of Viscounts, Barons and Earls. They'd enjoy pretending to spend time with the daughters all while slowly sucking away their ability to think a single thought without the higher-up's input. Y/N was the 14th girl they had done this to in both of her lifetimes, unfortunately. “Countess, Lady Y/N we have arrived.” the coachman called. Y/N's heart sinks deeper into her stomach as she feels a wave of nausea takes over her. Her mother raised her eyebrow as she stared at her. “Behave. And don't embarrass us.” Her mother growls as she exits the carriage and makes her way into the manor. Y/N steadies her breathing for a moment before she slowly lifts herself from her seat, exiting the carriage she is greeted by the familiar staff. The memories of their cruel taunts and whispers flash through her mind. Words get caught in her throat as she looks away from them. They didn't do it yet…things have changed…they won't hurt me this time. She reassures herself. A maid points her to the path to the garden, taking a deep breath she makes her way over to the party.

Y/N couldn't help but admire the Dutchess’ garden, knowing how much pride her mother-in-law put into creating this garden herself. Leaning in to smell the gorgeous roses she halts as a mop of jet-black hair catches her attention. She couldn't say she was surprised at the expensive, elegant aura Kari radiated. The false friendly smile that sat perfectly on her plush lips, as she ‘entertained her new pets.’ Y/N stood frozen in place as she watched her sister-in-law chat with her friends, looking almost innocent. If this had been the past, Y/N would have rushed over to the table excitedly as she imagined every other girl did when they arrived. She mentally curses herself when Kari’s eyes meet hers. A bright beaming smile forms on the younger girl's lips as she lifts herself from her seat at the table and makes her way over. “I'm glad to see you made it! My brother said you have been ill.” Kari exclaimed. “Greetings Lady Bang. My health has improved and I made a commitment, I'm here to honor it.” Y/N responded with the same amount of faux enthusiasm. Kari smiles as she tilts her head slightly “How becoming of the future Dutchess.” Kari gestures toward the table. “Please, have a seat.” Y/N stares at the only free seat available, right beside Kari and her friends.

Y/N could feel their scornful stares behind their sweet facades. She despised these women, the select few that made her previous life absolute hell. “Lady Y/N, I heard life in the county can be quite desolate. I'm glad to see its beginning to prosper considering your dress.” A red head named Sera questioned. Sera’s father, a marquis, was a ruthless tyrannical man. In her past life, Sera did not fall too far behind him. She was a viper of a woman. Her venom laced rumors could make or break a young woman reputation in high society. Kari eventually cast Sera out when it was revealed she had been in an 12 year affair with a knight in her fathers estate and in her desperation, attempted to bed Chan. Being the overprotective younger sister she was, Kari quickly cut off one of Sera’s hands at the wrist. ‘Do not covet something nor someone far above you…’ Kari warned the redhead.

Y/N shuddered at the memory. The sounds of Sera’s ear piercing blood curtling screams began to echo in her mind. “Where else would she have gotten it?” A blonde girl, Naeun, snickered “Her fiancè is the future Duke. Of course he wouldn't want her to wear her normal rags…” Y/N felt her blood run cold at the mention of Chan as she stares blankly at the teacup. She could imagine her mothers expression from the table across the garden. She knew proper etiquette; she should just drink the tea but, the idea of raising a single cup from this home has her growing weary. Kari had a target on her back for a long time. Y/N herself did not know for sure how long ago Kari’s hatred of her began. She couldn't be sure if her life was safe at the moment. Kari stared at her mischievously, “Is the tea not to your liking?” Y/N instinctively perked up as she lifted the cup to her lips taking a hesitant sip. “My apologies,” Y/N stated graciously “I must have lost myself for a moment.” Kari raised her eyebrow, a smirk hidden behind her teacup. “Beside that, I heard you recently became acquainted with our Knight, Hyunjin, has he lived up to your expectations?” Kari questioned innocently. “Beyond, as you may have heard I will be married soon, I recently heard he will be marrying his fiancé shortly after becoming my escort. What a lovely couple I will have serve me, I felt it was best to become acquainted prior so they could enjoy a honeymoon. I'd be honored for them to serve me on their return. ” Y/N countered politely.

“I’m sure you would…” Sera chimed.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, it's just—it has been said you adore beautiful men so it wouldn't be surprising that Hyunjin is the first knight you approach…” Sera snides as the rest of the table begins to whisper amongst themselves. Y/N fought the need to groan “Are you insinuating something?” She questioned gracefully. Sera smirks as she flashes Kari a side-eye before responding when Kari nods subtly “I feel it is unbecoming of the future Dutchess to be involved in such a scandal. Imagine the embarrassment your fiancè must feel…” Y/N couldn't hold back her snicker “I expect you would know more about something like that, no? And the only ‘beautiful men’ I have been seen with are my future guard, my brother, and my fiancè. ” Y/N raises her eyebrow as she stares Sera down. “Your brother? Isn't he a fugitive?” Naeun questions worriedly as the group continues to whisper. “For what crime?” Sera questions with a look of concern. If there was anything Y/N could give to these three; it was their knack for theatrics. “Sodomy. He lies with men, but how could it be helped he comes from a perverse family.” Naeun gossiped. Y/N feels her blood boil, turning to Kari she lifts herself from her seat. “I must apologize. It seems I have not been as well as it seemed” She states before she quickly turns away from the table and makes her way back toward her carriage. She could feel three sets of eyes burning holes into her back as she made her escape.

Staring at nothing but the ground she walked away attempting to remain as invisible as possible. No wonder Chan changed so much…what else must he have heard back then? Have I always seemed so….disgusting? What did my brother do wrong? He was an amazing person, why did who he loved matter to everyone else? How could anyone be so nasty? A wall of muscle pulls her out of her thoughts as she collides with someone. “My apologies…” she squeaks as she pulls away attempting to make another escape due to her embarrassment. Her eyes widen when she feels two strong hands on her waist holding her steady. Her eyes trail from the broad firm chest covered by the black petticoat embroidered with golden tassels, up to their face. Her heart pounds rapidly against her chest as she comes face-to-face with her fiancè. “No, I should have been paying better attention but I grew distracted.” Chan apologized, his tone laced with something unfamiliar to her. “D-Distracted?” Y/N felt herself growing overwhelmed and panicked. It had been so long since I had last seen him…She thinks to herself Has he always been this beautiful? She shakes the thought out of her head as she feels Chan caress her cheek. His eyes never leave hers as he gives her a small smile. Why are you looking at me like that? She wonders.

“Yes, I was entranced by the view and lost myself”

A squeak is released from her throat as Chan pulls her into his chest. “Y-Your grace?” she exclaimed in shock. She feels Chan freeze for a moment, his hands coming to hold her shoulders as he pulls back. His eyebrows furrow together as he leans in close and examines her face intently. Embarrassment fills her stomach as her cheeks become a bright scarlet “C-Channie?” the nickname falls out of her mouth uncontrollably. Chan’s eyes brighten as his lips spread into a widen grin. “What a relief….” He whispers to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing, where are you going? Are you still not feeling well?”

“Unfortunately, so I am returning home.” Y/N lies. Chan stares at her with an almost desperate and heartbroken look. “N-No! But—why don't you lay down inside?” Chan suggests panickedly. Y/N stares at him bewildered. Who is this man? The Chan I know would have never suggested for me to rest here. “It would be best for me to return home…” she answers calmly. “Why? If it is about privacy, your room has been prepared for you already.” He responds casually. Y/N stared at him confused. My room? Before…i never had a room. Just guest room after guest room until I was banished to the annex…. “M-My room?”

“Yes? We are to be married in 7 days time. Why would you not have a room?”

“I—we aren't married yet…”

“You sound quite relieved about that….” Chan states with a sad pout. Y/N stares at him bewildered “Pardon?” a smirk forms on his lips “Was I wrong? You won't abandon me at the altar, correct?” he chuckles. Y/N doesn't say anything, just frozen in place with his arm wrapped around her waist as he leads her toward the manor. Her mouth hung open “That was not funny was it? My apologies” Chan states nervously as he escorts her inside. “Y-Your grace…it would be quite inappropriate for me to stay here. I will be returning home, my apologies” Y/N states trying to sound firm and still graceful as she turns to walk back toward her carriage. Chan grips her wrist softly “Y/N, wait! Please.” Y/N forces her wrist out of his hand. “Unhand me! Listen, and listen well…I don't wish to marry you. A marriage to you means too much and I don't want that responsibility. I don't want to be the Dutchess nor do I wish to continue to be held with such contempt by so many people. If you haven't heard, I'm not worthy of such a title. And I'm not going to risk my life to be married to you.” She growls trying to hold herself together. Chan stares at her wide-eyed for a moment before his eyes darken “What? What are you talking about? Who said you aren't worthy of that title?” Y/N shakes her head, “Do not mind that. Just know, that I will not marry you with joy and acceptance in my heart…”

“What happened? Tell me. Now.”

“Why must something have happened?”

“Y-You wouldn't be like this….You love me. What happened? Tell me and I can correct it. Who said you aren't worthy of being the Dutchess? Was it someone at Kari’s party?” Chan questions his anger growing more and more evident. Y/N instinctively flinches at the mention of Kari’s party. Her heart sinks as Chan walks past her toward the entrance to the garden. “Where are you going?” Y/N questions worriedly. Chan ignores her as he continues walking. “It is unbecoming of the future Duke to just abruptly end a conversation by walking away…”

“Were you going to answer a single one of my questions?” Chan retorts a menacing tone in his voice as he enters the garden with Y/N hot on his heels. “Your Grace, please, it is nothing..” She pleads with him as the laughter from the garden begins to ring through her ears. “Your grace!” Chan continues to ignore her as he walks straight up to Kari. “Pardon me ladies, but I must speak with my dear sister….” Chan states menacingly as he grips Kari’s arm lifting her from her seat and pulling her toward the Manor. “What is this about?” Kari questions, her eyes wide as fear takes over her features. As he passes a knight he leans over to him “Show Lady Y/N L/N to her room.” He commands in a whispered tone. “And do not allow her to leave until I've spoken with her.” The knight walks over to Y/N, “This way, My lady” He gestures toward the path she had just taken. With a reluctant nod, Y/N follows him.

“Y-Your grace…it would be quite inappropriate for me to stay here. I will be returning home, my apologies”

Chan’s heart sinks, No…You can't! Why? Why do you want to leave so bad? I've finally seen you, you're finally here in front of me….why are you behaving like this? His hand reaches out instinctively as she turns away, gripping her wrist softly “Y/N, wait! Please.” An ache forces its way through his chest as she pulls her wrist out of his hand. “Unhand me! Listen, and listen well…I don't wish to marry you.” Lies… “ A marriage to you means too much and I don't want that responsibility.” You can't be telling me the truth! You have to be lying…. “ I don't want to be the Dutchess nor do I wish to continue to be held with such contempt by so many people.” What? Contempt? My beloved…. “If you haven't heard, I'm not worthy of such a title. And I'm not going to risk my life to be married to you.” She growls trying to hold herself together. Chan stares at her wide-eyed for a moment before his eyes darken, I’ll kill them all… “What? What are you talking about? Who said you aren't worthy of that title?” His tone full of venom, his blood boils when Y/N only shakes her head and tries to wave him off “Do not mind that. Just know, that I will not marry you with joy and acceptance in my heart…” This couldn't be true, not after everything he had done. Not before he could make amends. Something….something had to have happened.

“What happened? Tell me. Now.”

“Why must something have happened?”

“Y-You wouldn't be like this….You love me. What happened? Tell me and I can correct it. Who said you aren't worthy of being the Dutchess? Was it someone at Kari’s party?” Chan questions his anger growing more and more evident. He notices the way she flinches at the mention of Kari’s party. That conniving little rodent! Seething at the way Y/N had a flash of fear when it came to this simple party. She should have been fine! She should have been safe! Kari’s hatred ran much deeper than I expected….He thinks to himself as he brushes past Y/N making his way toward the entrance to the garden. “Where are you going?” Y/N questions worriedly. He shakes his head to himself as he ignores her and continues walking. “It is unbecoming of the future Duke to just abruptly end a conversation by walking away…”

“Were you going to answer a single one of my questions?” Chan retorts a menacing tone in his voice as he enters the garden with Y/N hot on his heels. “Your Grace, please, it is nothing..” She pleads with him as his sister comes into his view, seeing nothing but red he makes his way over to his sister. “Your grace!” Chan continues to ignore Y/N as he stands in front of Kari. “Pardon me ladies, but I must speak with my dear sister….” Chan states menacingly, taking note of the fearful and guilty way she looked back at his fiancè before he grasps Kari’s arm lifting her from her seat and pulling her toward the Manor. “What is this about?” Kari questions, her eyes wide as fear takes over her features. Good….Time for you to learn your place here…He seethes as he passes a knight he leans over to him “Show Lady Y/N L/N to her room.” He commands in a whispered tone. “And do not allow her to leave until I've spoken with her.” Chan continues making his way into the manor with Kari.

“You can't just embarrass me like this!” Kari whines as she stomps her foot while the butlers open the main door.

“You cannot handle a fraction of the embarrassment you've caused Lady Y/N?!” He growls. “I do not understand, brother please just explain…” Kari stammered nervously. “Do you think me a fool?” Chan snaps as he grabs a vase and chucks it against the wall “Which one of those women told my fiance she is not worthy of our marriage?” Kari stares at him wide-eyed, her anger and fury decorating her features. “She may hear worse things when she becomes the Dutchess. She cannot run to you every time someone says something rude! And a lowly—whore like her is not worthy of becoming the Dutchess” She argues. Chan draws his sword as his eyes burn with a passionate rage “If you wish for your tongue to remain in your mouth, I would stop speaking”

“I am your sister! I am your true family! You would betray your blood for some pathetic Count's daughter? Placing someone so—so dirty in that position is an insult to our entire lineage!” Kari argues, Chan knows this could be dangerous. Y/N could be hurt faster by him pissing his sister off but between finding out just the fraction of what Y/N was put through at the hands of his sister before she died, and Y/N brushing him off because of his sister and her antics; his rage could not be contained any longer. “You have no need to worry, I will handle her and she knows I would like to speak with her after the party.” Kari continues. “No. You've proven too lenient with your friends, bring her to me. You have until the end of the day!” Chan declares.

“No! You’re going to be too harsh on her when she said nothing untrue! Lady Y/N is not worthy of being the Dutchess. Just from her family’s reputation alone she should not be permitted to be in that position! There is nothing honorable about bringing a crazy incoherent count, a vile and ignorant countess nor their sodomite son into our family and tainting it with their blood! She’s dirty and tainted because they are!” Kari snaps

“Have you forgotten who chose this engagement?! You volatile spoiled little child! I have gifted you leniency because father always concerns himself with your health but your insolence will stop now. You are to stay in the rose annex until you've repented by bringing me the one that said the fiancè chosen by both me and the current Dutchess is unworthy; Only then will your punishment be lifted.” Chan states firmly as he walks away from the foyer leaving Kari burning with a passionate rage in her stomach.

“You can't just do this to me! Because of one whore?!”

“Guards, bring my sister to the rose annex. She is to stay there until the one that has spoken such blasphemous words has been dealt with.” Chan ignores her as he makes his way to Y/Ns room on the second level of the Manor. His heart races as he knocks trying to quell his anger. “Come in…” Y/N calls monotonously. Chan hesitates for a moment. Has she calmed down? Will she pull away again? He sighs heavily as he pushes the door open. Y/N sat by the window staring blankly out of it, “May I return home?” She questions softly. “You should rest for a while and return home after…” He suggests kindly, as he strides across the room, his hand caressing her lower back. Y/N continues to stare out the window. Chan's eyes wander over her face. His heart fluttered as he embedded every inch of her face into his memory. The beautiful sunset hues that painted the room, she looked ethereal.

I have to get out of here....

Y/N thought to herself. She could feel Chan's eyes burning holes into her face. Confusion flowed through her. Why was he behaving so.....oddly? For the first time in a long time, she prayed her mother would be looking for her. She felt Chan shift, his arms wrapping around her waist as he leaned on her slightly. She notices the soft inhale he does as he nuzzles against her neck. "Y-Your grace?" She questions nervously as she steps forward slightly releasing his grip on her. "My apologies..." Chan smirks subtly "I was entranced by such beauty and behaved according to my own desires" he states flirtatiously. Y/N stares at him, her cheeks flushed as a bewildered gaze is painted on her features. What?....He couldn't be talking about....me? right? She wondered, How can he be so different than before? "W-well, I would like to request that you please refrain from such things, i-it is inappropriate and can be misunderstood" Y/N stammers nervously. She mentally palms herself for allowing her nerves to show.

"What could be misunderstood between a betrothed couple?" Chan argues his frustration grows at her behavior.

"Our marriage has not been officiated....we are not husband and wife currently, Your Grace. Therefore, Things can be misunderstood. You would not like if my reputation is ruined any more than it already is, would you?" She questions graciously as she turns to sit at the small loveseat in the center of the room. Chan remains where he stood by the window, his fists clenched at his sides. "Is that why you're reluctant to allow me to be close to you? What others would say?" He questions behind gritted teeth. Y/N can feel the room grow colder as she turns to look at Chan. His jaw was clenched as he stared out the window. "People say horrid things about me as it is. i would prefer to not be the topic of gossip." She states softly.

"Our wedding is in 7 days..." Chan states innocently. A pure, excited look on his features as he perks up. Her eyes widen, "Pardon?" her voice squeaks in shock. Chan's eyebrows raise as he approaches the loveseat and rests his hand on your shoulder. "Is a week's time too long?" He questions excitedly. She turns to face him a look of bewilderment on her features. "Your Grace..." Y/N sighs as she stares at her lap "I don't understand...."

"You said you would be worried about what people said about my behavior since we haven't officiated our marriage. I can hold the ceremony tomorrow if you wish." He states with an innocent pout. Who is this man? She wonders to herself. The wedding is supposed to be in a week. What does he mean, he could hold it tomorrow? Why is everything so different? Everything has changed....does that mean I can live? "Your Grace...I believe you have misunderstood me. I said I would be concerned about my reputation due to your behavior since I will not be marrying you" She states boldly. She feels his hand tense on her shoulder. "W-what?" He questions with a stammer.

"I was going to send a letter but since I was able to meet you here, I would like to request that you annual our engagement" She states coldly as she stares forward at the door. Chan feels his heart drop into his stomach. Y/N can feel his eyes boring holes into the back of her head. It sat quiet for what felt like hours before Chan released her and made his way out of the room without saying a word.

Y/N released the breath that caught in her throat. Relief washes over her as she gains the ability to breathe freely. Taking the opportunity, Y/N rushes out of the room and into the foyer where the workers freeze momentarily. Their eyes burn into her and she remembers their judgmental gazes from before. The way they'd eagerly follow Kari's command and torment her in their own ways. I can't stay here...Just through this door...She willed herself as she continued to run through the front door and onto the front lawn, seeing her carriage just past the gate; she walked quickly toward it. intercepting her mother who was being escorted into it. she avoids her mother's glare as she sits in the seat. Letting out a sigh of relief at her escape, she flinches quickly as her mother's hand connects with her cheek.

Chan's hands shook at his side as he rushed through the corridors. This cannot be true he thinks she has to be lying. Someone had to have said something to her. Chan couldn't process her words even as they continue to replay in his mind.

'I would like to request that you annual our engagement'

'I would like to request that you annual our engagement'

'I would like to request that you annual our engagement'

The words torment him as he searches profusely for Felix. This isn't right...This can't be possible. She loves me, she has always loved me. Why wouldn't she want to marry me? He rushes down the stairs to the back sunroom, he notices the familiar mop of blonde hair. Felix stood in the garden staring out of the gate as he watched a carriage as it left. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he stood with his hands cupped together behind his back. "Felix!" Chan calls, panicked as he rushes toward his aide. Felix stares at Chan with a look of concern. "What do you remember about the countess from your previous marriage to Lady Y/N?" Felix asks curiously. Chan freezes for a moment, "N-Not much, She died a year or two after our marriage. Y/N didn't go to her funeral..." He explains. Felix sighs, his head resting in his hand. "No...she wasn't permitted to leave at that time..." The blonde mutters quietly. Chan's eyes widen "On whose authority?"

"Yours. Your Grace" Felix snides "It was during your first monster hunting expedition"

"Anyway," Chan waves off his words not wanting to remember his brutish behavior "What about the countess? Has she become unruly?"

"She struck Lady Y/N...." Felix states bewildered "Quite harshly I may add" Chan's blood boils at Felix's words. She what? Chan feels his heart sink in his stomach. Did Y/N get hit often? Is this why she doesn't want to marry me? Chan's jaw clenches as his right hand instinctively reaches for his sword. "What?" He questions. Felix's eyes darken, "My contact in the County informed me it was a normal occurrence. Lady Y/N has endured harsh beatings from the Countess for many years on occasion having many bruises to the point she cannot appear in public" He states with a concerned and guilty tone. Chan's throat tightens, No that can't be true...That means before...

"Your Grace, did you know?"

"How could I have known? Even when we were in my chambers at night, I had to remain distant because of Kari's spies. We wouldn't really talk we'd just--" Chan stops speaking as the memory of their nights together flashes back through his mind. His cheeks turn a bright scarlet at the memory. The nights he was only able to express how he felt through his actions. He could vividly remember how it felt to caress her soft skin as she held onto him for dear life. He could remember her whimpers and the way she'd hold back her moans. Blood rushed to his head as Felix snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Erhm--That aside, Your Grace. If Lady Y/N is not safe even in her familial home, we may have to exert our authority and bring her here sooner." Felix reluctantly suggests. "She'd rather die...That is what she would say I believe...." Chan murmurs. "Your Grace?" Felix questions as he looks at the young future duke's distressed expression. Chan's heart felt heavy if his beloved had to live through a heavy hand and torturous life with her family too; he felt as if his world completely shattered. He should have paid closer attention after they had gotten married. He should have realized the way she always flinched when someone moved too quickly next to her in their previous life. He wished he could kick himself in the throat for the way he treated the woman he loved so deeply. There were only so many times he felt he could brush off his behavior as 'protecting Y/N from his sister' and he knew that. He became a horrible tyrant and treated Y/N as if she were a doll. She deserved more, He knew he could have done better. He should have been better.

Though his heart ached terribly, he could understand why. Her words as she lay dying in front of him repeating through his mind. If I could do it all over again…I'd have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…He couldn't understand, did Felix's magic not work properly. She wasn't supposed to reject marrying him, if anything she should be ecstatic at the idea of him moving their wedding up. "Your Grace?" Felix questions as he places his hand on Chan's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Apologies, what did you say?"

"Why would Y/N say she'd rather die than come here sooner? Your meeting with her is supposed to be in two days" Felix asks puzzledly. "She requests I annual our engagement..." Chan states dejectedly. Felix looks at him befuddled "That's impossible...." His aide states under his breath. Felix quickly turns away from Chan rushing deeper into the Manor. Chan's eyes widen as he follows behind his aide, He follows Felix toward the Staff's quarters and into the basement where Felix's lab sits. He quickly pulls a large box from a bookshelf and places it on his desk. Letting let out a shaky breath, Felix brought his index and middle to his lips, his eyes closing and soon the box glowed a bright sapphire blue, the top of the box opened and there sat a large glowing purple orb. "Ae-ra...." Felix grits as he clenches his fist. As he grips the side of his desk "That sneaky minx..."

"What? What happened?" Chan questions in confusion. Felix sighs "Ae-ra lied. She said she wouldn't tamper with Lady Y/N's memories, but her magic signature is here." Chan's heart sinks, "No...you said that this would be--Well, My wife seems to have me evenly matched" Felix cuts him off frustratedly. Chan notices the familiar jealousy, from the pair's relationship over the years. The two personal aides are the only connection between Chan and his wife. Chan was not surprised that their petty rivalry soon turned into love and then marriage. It was not a secret that Ae-ra was opposed to Felix turning back time with only the three memories intact. Chan couldn't argue with Y/N's closest confidant at the time. Ae-ra had been there for his beloved when he couldn't, of course, she'd find it wrong to not allow her Lady to have free will and knowledge of her fate.

*First Timeline- Y/N's Death....*

"Please! " Ae-ra cried her eyes widening as Y/N's head rested on her lap. Chan couldn't believe what happened. He sat frozen in shock and despair as Ae-ra continued to shout "Do something!" Her panicked and coarse screams pull Chan out of his daze. He lifted himself from the couch and dropped to his knees, his hands wrapping around his beloved as he lifted her from her maid's lap and held her tight. She stared up at him her eyes almost completely lifeless, "Y/N?!" He calls his voice trembling as he hears a small croak from her lips. He leans in to her trying to listen for any more signs of life. His eyes widen as he feels her torso tighten for a moment before he feels a warm liquid on his cheek. Ae-ra stares at him wide-eyed, their eyes connect for a moment before Ae-ra extends her handkerchief to him before she lifts herself from the floor and rushes out of the room toward the knights "Someone help me please?!" she screams as she disappears.

Chan can feel the eyes of the maids on him as he holds Y/n's lifeless body against him. His eyes darken as he looks at his staff "Why are you just sitting there?!" He growls. Felix's deep voice booms as he orders the maids to clean and find a doctor for the Dutchess. Chan sat frozen as he held Y/N close to him. Tears build in his eyes as he silently pleads to Y/N. Please…I'm begging you, Open your eyes! His body aches as his regrets fill him. "Felix, Get the maid that did this. I don't see her" Chan demands in a panic. Felix nods with a serious expression, and with a snap of his fingers, he disappears leaving a trail of blue smoke in his wake. Chan didn't expect any of this when he returned home. He pleaded with God to make him wake up from this horrible dream. It felt like hours before Ae-ra returned and Chan was forcibly taken away to be cleaned and have Y/N treated. But he knew...though he wanted to deny it. His beloved was gone, She died believing he didn't love her.....

That he wished she was gone.......

He cried harshly as he sat outside of Y/N's room. The doctor was pale as he explained that Y/N was no longer alive. Chan felt like he couldn't breathe, How could this be? How could God be this cruel? I was so close, so close to having her protection guaranteed. I was so close to fixing everything and spending the rest of my life making up for my mistakes. How could she just be gone? Why didn't he just stay with her? He quickly rushed into the room, shouting for the staff to leave. His eyes were bloodshot and his face stained with tears as he rushed beside her body. If he didn't know any better, he'd believe she was just sleeping. His hand hesitantly reached out for hers, grasping it for dear life. His sobs leave him trembling as he feels his legs turn to jelly before he drops to his knees. His free hand caresses her head as he cries.

"I-I'm so sorry....." His voice is trembling as his grip grows tighter on her hand "Honey....I'm sorry. P-Please....w-wake up...Honey...I was wrong. I did wrong and I'm so sorry so please--just open your eyes. Y-you can scold me for being mean l-like w-when we were kids....I-I deserve it. I was so mean for so long so please just scold me or hit me or something, please. Please tell me I'm not too late. Honey, j-just s-say my name one more time? P-please? Y-you c-can't j-just leave me behind without doing that right? Please j-just open your eyes and say C-Channie....Y/N..."

Ae-ra felt empty as she tried to maintain her professionalism. She stood beside her mistress with a heavy heart. Mentally, she was in almost as much denial as the Duke. She held herself together with the thought that her mistress was just asleep, but she knew the truth. No matter how much healing magic or potions she used, Her Grace was not waking up from this slumber. She knew, there were going to be questions. Eyes were going to be on her, she was the closest person to the Dutchess. The only person with unlimited access, she was lucky to not have been hauled off the moment the doctor had declared her mistress passing. She struggled to hold back tears as the Duke cried over his lost love. Her heart ached for the couple, knowing how hard their circumstances and the Duke's negligence had been for her lady. Ae-ra feels she could make peace if the Duke suffers for the rest of his days. Though she knew it was wrong, She wished the Duke to endure the suffering her mistress had been through in the 10 years of their marriage, She hoped he would die feeling alone and unloved, just like her mistress. These things that could never be voiced out loud, Ae-ra held her breath and tears hoping time would pass quickly and she would be dismissed to her room shortly. Feeling her emotions boiling over, she sighs hopelessly.

Chan's head perks up at the sound of someone sighing. He notices Y/N's maid, Ae-ra, standing on the other side of the bed. He stares at the maid with sad guilt-ridden eyes. A mournful pout on his lips as he looks at Ae-ra feeling remorseful as he notices her struggling to hold herself together. "Ae-ra...." He sighs, and the maid stares at him with worried eyes. "Y-Your Grace, Do you need something?" She asks trying to mask her grief.

"Y/N loved you," Chan states his voice soft and comforting. "You shouldn't be here right now. You should rest." Ae-ra shakes her head rapidly. "I-I will be beside Her Grace until her body is with god as well....I-if that is permitted, Your Grace." She states hesitantly. "A-and I need to be near for the investigation" Chan furrows his eyebrows. "Investigation?"

Ae-ra nods nervously "Yes, Your Grace..."

"Into you?"

"Yes, Your Grace"

"Ae-ra, You were the Dutchess' closest aide. You cared for her passionately and worked hard under her. You are the last person I would investigate in this matter. Go rest, Y/N would want you to rest." He states sullenly. Ae-ra stares at the Duke with a glum expression. "Your Grace?" Chan looks at the maid with a grief-stricken pout. "Her Grace had requested me not to inform you but considering....The Young Lady of the Manor has requested for the knights to refrain from attending their posts here at the annex. Perhaps whoever had done this knew about the minimal security." Ae-ra suggested her voice just above a whisper, hoping the Duke understood her intention and turned his attention toward his sister. "Kari will be dealt with if that's what you're concerning yourself with," Chan states darkly as his eyes glaze over with murderous intent. Ae-ra nods, not saying anything else as she bows to her employer before exiting the room. As she closes the door behind her, tears build in her eyes as she loses feeling in her legs and collapses to the ground in a puddle of tears.

*First Timeline- One Week After Y/N's Death*

"If I could do it all over again…I'd have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…"

Those words have replayed in Chan's mind for hours now. The way her voice gurgled as she choked on her blood. He felt sick as he remembered her voice in her final moments. Why did he have to be here? Who was brave enough to help Kari go through with this? His mind raced as his heart ached uncontrollably. "My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…" He hated to admit it, but under those circumstances, he regretted it too. He wasn't the husband he should have been. He was negligent, he should have done more. He should have realized the fear she had to have had with how ruthless his sister could be. He never expected this though.

The reality of her absence is already becoming too much to bear. He couldn't understand what happened. How could she have been poisoned? He had been right there, staring at her. He was looking at her, he should have noticed the way she coughed. How hard it was for her to speak after she had drank her tea. When the blood flowed out of her mouth, he couldn't move due to his shock. Not even 10 minutes with her and now there's no more time. She's gone.....How could she be gone?

He hears a small panicked yelp as the door slams open forcefully, Chan's eyes finally leaving his beloved's portrait. He sees Felix standing there, his face stoic as the maid that had given Y/N her tea kneeled with her back to his aide as Felix's hand grips her hair harshly. "This is the rodent that has caused the commotion today" Felix states coldly, Chan lifts him from the ground as he stares at the maid. Her face is so prominently familiar in his mind, that he can't help but let out a mad laugh at the nerve of his temperamental sister. He takes slow predatory steps toward the maid, who looks up at him with fearful eyes. Felix's blood boils at her impertinence "You dare raise your head with all you've done!?" A bright sapphire light emanates from the mage as he forces the maid to the ground with a snap of his fingers, metal cuffs encase the maid's hands and ankles; pinning her to the ground. The maid trembles fearfully "Y-Your G-Grace, H-Have mercy...." she pleads tearfully as Felix snaps his fingers again and a large sapphire chain erupts from the ground encasing the maid's neck.

"Mercy!?" Felix growls as the chains begin to slowly tighten around the woman's neck. Chan chuckles darkly as he leans forward gripping the maid by her bun in the back of her head pulling her closer as he stares into her eyes. His eyes glow a bright scarlet "Did you grant Y/N such a courtesy?"

The maid gasps not expecting the question. "I-I....uhm"

"Fine. Tell me who ordered you to give the tea to the Dutchess?" Chan questions "If it proves to be useful, I shall grant mercy" The maid's eyes widen, the cogs in her head turning. Chan knows no matter her tenure as Kari's aide for all these years, the life of this commoner mattered more to her than her loyalties to his sister. "T-The h-head maid...S-she said the Lady had requested tea...Y-your Grace, I-I didn't know. Please, Your Grace, forgive me for this oversight" The brunette stammered. Felix and Chan's eyes connect for a moment, their silent communication clear. Chan nods to the mage, who releases the maid's bonds. She breathes a sigh of relief, placing her forehead on the ground. A small chuckle is released from her throat as she looks up at Chan. "T-Thank you, Your Gr--" Her words are cut off as Chan plunges a dagger through her throat. The maid gags as she stares at Chan wide-eyed. Blood fills her mouth as she begins gagging and breathing in her blood. Her pleads are covered by gurgles.

"Now you know, such oversites cannot be forgiven.....Dog." Chan states coldly as he twists the dagger roughly and kicks her off the blade by her shoulder. Felix stares at the body with dark cold eyes. "Lady Kari seems to have been taking advantage of your absence, Your Grace. Shall I finish this?" Felix questions gesturing toward the maid who was gurgling and gasping for air on the ground. His eyes glowed a bright sapphire.

"Did the Dutchess have such mercy?" Chan questions darkly as he takes one of Y/N's handkerchiefs from his lapel wiping the blood from his hands as he kneels over the maid. "They deserve to know the suffering they put my wife through until her final moments" Chan states. Felix smirks darkly at his master before nodding and walking toward the door.

"Wait," Chan calls as he stares at the maid continue to gurgle and gag, her body trembling as she struggles to breathe due to the blood continuously going into her windpipe. Felix halts his movements turning toward Chan. "Yes, Your Grace?"

"When harm is done to one's pet, it is proper etiquette to return the corpse and inform the owner, yes?" Chan states with a mischievous smirk as he walks toward the window he notices his sister sitting in the garden, her maids beside her as they enjoy tea. "And Kari seems so possessive of those dogs of hers. It would only be right" He finishes as he clenches his fist. Felix nods in understanding before he pulls a seal out from his inline pocket and places it on the dying maid's body, lifting his index and middle finger in front of his lips he closes his eyes as the sapphire light glows brightly and the pair disappear.

Chan feels his blood boiling as he watches his sister laughing with her parasitic friends. How dare she?! He knew his sister's temper could be considered tyrannical. She rarely allowed even her closest maids to make a mistake, yet Chan thought as long as he could keep a distance from Y/N, she'd be safe from his sister's wrath at not becoming the heir. A smirk formed on his lips as Felix's blue sapphire light shined over the table and Kari's personal maid's corpse lay in the middle of it. The noble women begin panicking scurrying away from the blood-soaked table like roaches, their fearful screams echoing through the garden. But Chan kept his eyes firmly on Kari, who sat bewildered at the head of the table as Felix politely bowed to her and transported away after a brief exchange. He watched as Kari glared at the corpse in utter shock and disbelief. Knowing his actions ignited a fire in Kari, Chan felt thrilled.

"Well, sister, you wanted to be the Dutchess so bad.....I'll be sure you know exactly how My Dutchess felt."

Flashback: One month after Y/N's Death

“Let me go! Do you not know your place?!” Kari growled as Felix continued to stand stone-faced. He sighed before continuing to bring Kari to his Master's office. Kari fumes as she continues to struggle with her hands tied behind her back with Felix's magic. Felix opens the door, Chan's seated at the center of the room. Aera stood beside him, placing a cup of tea in front of him. "Unhand me!" Kari growls as Felix sits her in front of Chan's desk. "What is the meaning of this?" Kari snaps at her brother. Chan gestures for Felix to release Kari's hands.

"My apologies, my dear sister but You have been refusing to see me for a long time" Chan states with a faux sincerity. "I had to take such measures to see my precious sister, it's made me wonder" His eyes darken as he stares at the brunette. "Have you been avoiding me? One would think, you've done something wrong....." He raises his eyebrow in amusement.

Kari stares at him blankly "I've chosen to undertake a vow of silence.." She states as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Shall I send a letter to the convent then?" Chan retorts smugly. Aera places a cup of tea in front of Kari. "I must thank you for your concern but please graciously accept my apologies... I'm in mourning I've lost two dear maids of mine" Kari smirks as she watches Aera closely.

Chan notices the subtly purple aura growing around the maid, and he taps on his desk twice, a signal to Aera to stand down. Kari stares daggers at the maid. Mumbling something inaudible under her breath; Kari stares down at the cup, her nerves slightly making her hands tremble. Chan knew, his sister's fear of retaliation made her guilt evident. Kari sighs before taking a hesitant sip. It was her! She was the mastermind, there was no doubt in his mind that the sister he held so dear through the years, had murdered the woman that he loved. His blood ran cold at his sister's nonchalance, he knew she had a brother complex and she felt a form of jealousy when she noticed his closeness to his fiance. How he wished he had chosen Y/N, and realized Kari's tyranny sooner. How could he let 10 years go by without taking his beloved in his arms a single time and telling her how much he loved her? and now, because of the girl in front of him vying for his position as the head of the family, Y/N was gone.

Chan had Aera and Felix preserve her body for as long as they could, but their magic was fading, and Y/N had begun to decay in her bed. He was at his wit's end, though the foolish maid had been dealt with, no commoner would make such a brazen move in front of a Duke without the backing of a powerful noble. The head maid had escaped the Dutchy before Chan could reach her as well, His frustration grew as time passed and he was unable to punish those he deemed responsible for his wife's mistreatment and subsequent death. Though he knew who was the true one responsible...It was his fault. His lack of awareness of his sister's brazen and bold temperament, his choice to spend more time at war and on expeditions, pushing her away.

He was the one truly responsible for his beloved's death. Though Kari was the one who signed her death warrant, He's the reason Kari did not know her place. Why her ambitions went further than they should have. But the longer he stared at her smug smirk as she crossed her arms and glared at him; the more he could feel his hand slowly inching toward his sword sitting on his hip. "Why did you have this brutish mage bring me here? I am supposed to go to the imperial palace the second princess is hosting the book club." Kari whines a small pout on her innocent-looking face.

"Nightshade is quite the flower isn't it?" Chan questions softly.

Kari looks at him with confusion "You've brought me here to discuss flowers? Brother, shall I have someone retrieve the doctor?" Chan smirks mischievously as his eyes darken "Did you forget who was your instructor on poisons? You seem to be quite proud to boast about your garden with many flowers to your friends, belladonna being your favorite correct? Y/N was killed by such a plant..." he states monotonously he pulls his sword from its holster pointing it directly at Kari's neck with a small flick of his wrist a small cut forms in the center.

"B-brother, The dutchess crossed the line too many times to be forgiven. she was weak, she was not fit to be by your side, but I would n-never!" Kari stammered in utter shock. Chan scanned his sister up and down for a moment, he knew she was lying. He knows it is her, but he has no evidence at this moment. The Crown Princess may support him, but not for unjustifiable homicide. Resisting the urge to swiftly remove Kari's head from her shoulders, he brings his sword back into its holster. He stares at Kari menacingly "If I learn otherwise...You will become permanently acquainted with my sword."

With her eyes wide and pleading Kari stares up at him "You jest..." she states in disbelief as her heart sinks into her stomach. "I do not....Orchestrating the murder of the Dutchess is punishable by death by order of the Emperor, as his most loyal vassal and valent knight I must hold his word true." He challenges her as he takes her chin between his forefinger and thumb. "I look forward to the day you admonish yourself, sister" He states the relationship almost like a taunt as he stands above her, a smug smirk on his lips as he grows giddy at the thought of plunging his dagger right into her petite throat. He finds the strength in him to hold back, lest he massacre the whole Manor.

Kari looks furious at his words "Does the crown mean more to you than your blood, brother? The Dutchy stood long before this Emperor's reign and shall stand tall long after his line is gone, his word is no more than a mere fallacy."

"You will do your best to mind your tongue...That is the ruler of this Empire and I will not be considered treasonous due to your insolence! And just remember, sister, that it is that very blood that courses through your veins that protects you from my sword at this moment" He snaps at her. Kari stares at him her anger evident in her expression as she straightens her back. "And you will do your best to remember I am not one to be challenged" Her voice laced with a warning "The most beautiful things in this world are also the most lethal, for it is their beauty that lulls you into a sense of security, Brother" her eyebrow raised as Chan feels his gut bubble in amusement as he imagines himself running his dagger over his sister's cheek and removing that beauty she spoke of.

"What is a beauty without their embellishments?" He questions as he rests on his chin. "Many in this world learn too late, their place. I should surely hope with the way you've been raised, it will not be too late when you learn yours. For what are you without the Bang family name but a pretty face? I hope for your friend's sake you do not forget this fact." He states as he raises his eyebrow challenging her to speak against him. When she sits quietly he continues his anger growing as each word spews from his lips " You are well past the age for you to have been married. You do not spend your days like a proper noblewoman yet speak like your place is anywhere but at the convent...You wished to be the heir yet never married and birthed an heir to the family line. You spend your days drinking tea as you gossip with your friends, and you have the gall to discuss our Emperor? Sister, I've protected you and sacrificed everything I had for you but you refuse to become anything but a disappointment. I should surely hope a month in the rose annex shall help you understand your wrongdoings......"

"No!" Kari argues as knights make their way over to her. "You cannot do this to me! I've done nothing wrong." Her face was red with rage as she tried to avoid the knights' grasp but she could not fight against their strength and speed.

"You will regret this!" Kari exclaims as she is dragged out of the office with a flurry of curses. Chan lets out a heavy sigh as silence falls over the room. He reaches for a small cup on his desk, slightly tilting it to its side he pulls out Y/N's wedding ring. Staring at the object his heart breaks once again. How could he have lost her? How could he go on without her? He feels his breathing grow heavier. He needed to return to her. He hated every moment he had to step out of that room. He felt like he couldn't breathe if he wasn't by her side. He couldn't understand how terribly it ached every time he crossed that threshold.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, pulling him from sinking deeper and deeper into despair. His eyes trail up the petite hand and he sees Aera's comforting yet grieving smile beaming back at him and a small purple glow emanates from her hand. A warmth fills his body and he feels his heart relax. "Thank you, Aera. Truly you have been a wonderful help" He gives her a gentle nod, signaling that he's okay.

"It is my duty, My lord" Aera states formally as she bows.

"Your husband being a stickler about the rules again?" Chan jokes to her trying to lighten the mood and Aera nods in response. "Behave the way you did with the Dutchess, if she acknowledged your competence then your husband should too. You are doing his work for him...." Aera nods as she bows. "I shall bring you tea in the Dutchess' room, Your Grace."

Chan gives her a soft smile "That sounds wonderful"

*Flashback-Later that day*

Aera walked calmly toward the Dutchess room in the Main House. She felt her heartache as she knew Y/N never got to experience what her husband truly wished for her. Her heartbroken for the Duke, so much so that she used her magic to delay Her Grace's decomposition for at least a year after she had tried to heal her and it had come to light that The Dutchess' body could be preserved. The Duke had gone mad and spent his days laying and reading to her corpse. She felt sorry for the Dutchess, she may never be fully rested, and pity for the Duke who loved his wife so dearly that he could not part with her after he had finally secured his position as the Duke and could no longer be challenged as the head of the Dutchy.

Aera approached the large double doors and gestured for the Knight to knock when she heard familiar voices. "Your Grace, It will not fail. We can save her...I can save her" Her husband's voice rang out. Aera's heart sunk into her chest. That fool she thinks to herself as she gestures for the knight to open the door. "What do you think you are saying, Felix?" Aera questions worriedly as she places the tray with the teapot on the small table in front of the Duke. "You are not suggesting that spell to His Grace correct?" Aera raises her eyebrow at her husband, "I can do it! she will not be harmed..." Felix argues.

"And what of her memories? The spell is not perfect and if you are going to turn back time then you need to allow her to remember what has happened to her!" Aera counters and Chan holds his hand up "Silence...." The pair turn toward the Duke and bow apologetically. Chan sighs "Felix will do the spell."

"Turning time back does not mean she will be safe, Your Grace. This can save her for a short while. The gods will not take this chance to save one life without another when the time comes" Felix warns.

"Then it shall be my own life or my sister's life as long as my wife gets to live the gods can burn the Dutchy with an inferno so bright that they form hell on earth. But Y/N lives...." He states definitively. Aera's face scrunched in opposition. "The Dutchess deserves her memories, do not deceive her. My loyalty shall only go far, Your Grace." She states coldly. "My Love....please, the memory of her own death may be too much to bear" Felix pleads as he caresses her cheek. "I just wish to give you, your purpose back. Your life, Her life....allow me to do this and help her be happy"

Aera looks away from him for a moment before reluctantly nodding.

*Present-2nd Timeline*

"What does this mean?" Chan questions worriedly as he grasps Felix's shoulders. Felix puts his hands up, trying to calm Chan down but knowing that Y/N having her memories is the last thing the Duke wanted. "Y-Your Grace...." Felix stammers nervously trying to find the easiest way to give him this news. Realization dawns on him, he feels his blood run cold as he stumbles back into a chair. His forehead rests on his palm as he lays his hand on the potion bench. "She has her memories...." He scoffs out in disbelief, as her behavior slowly becomes more and more understandable.

How could she want to marry the man who ignored her in her previous life? The man she believed was responsible for her death...

His chest ached as he felt his stomach bubble with nausea. She despises him...He was such a fool. The gods had to punish him for what he had done to her. Though it was Aera's interference and morality, He knew this was the way the gods were telling him that he needed to let Y/N go. His family had tortured her enough in their previous life when he was fighting to keep Kari's influence at bay, he used her for his own desires when it was convenient for himself, and He allowed Kari to grab hold of the Dutchy while he was away which ultimately lead to her death but how could he just let her go?

How could he give in to her wishes and call off their engagement? The notion seemed so foreign to him, removing her from his heart. He'd yearned for her for over 10 years in their previous life and hoped for a lover relationship in this one. What should he do to keep her at his side after all he's done just to bring her back to life? Over two months of collecting ingredients and brewing potions to keep his memories and Aera does it to Y/N with a wave of her hand. What more could be done?

His eyes darken as he continues to fall deeper and deeper into turmoil. He feels his anger slowly turning into possessive madness as he continues to allow his mind to wander. His title as the future Duke could be used. He tried to rack his brain to think of something--anything to keep her by his side. Moving the wedding up and locking her away seemed to be growing more and more appealing. How radiant she would look whilst locked in the very room he'd spent with her before he turned back time. Perhaps, he should relinquish his title and take her to the countryside estate and live out their days in secrecy. He felt himself growing less and less concerned with how she'd feel. How much she'd oppose being kept in a cage like a bird under his watchful eye. But what else could he do? Even if she grew to hate him.

"I'd never let you go, Y/N"

Taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @oddracha @lizzetmv @msauthor @azazelstays @rylea08 @skzfelixlove @blondechannie e @moonchildlv @kibs-and-bits @5starlee @jstbrowsing0 @solandiszale le @pnutbutter-n-j-elyy @lizzetmv @hwanriri

[kishiar-la-orr]

not incredibly well-thought because i'm just typing down thoughts briefly but

to me, the first timeline is the slightly less fairy tale-like version. the second timeline can be called a fix-it, an everything-goes-right, a best case scenario, which needed a grand plot device in the form of yuder regressing in order to happen at all. there must be tons and tons of different versions of first timeline where some things go right, some things also go wrong, in different ways whether miniscule or catastrophic. its not the worst though. things could go even worse, im sure.

there's a lot of takes surrounding first timeline kishiar with differing points. (also, as you know, im a glazer). and after running through a lot of them, it just makes me think that personally, a novel so nuanced and with a lot of complex interpersonal and intrapersonal happenings like turning needs to be approached with good faith and compassion. in my experience, doing that helps maximize my enjoyment of it.

second timeline kishiar is a 'green flag ML', yes, but he can only run because first timeline kishiar walked. what is turning if not about love and humanity? and the thing about loving while being human is, love doesnt stay pure all the time. sometimes its twisted, sometimes its murky. sometimes even when the love is pure, the communication gets lost in the middle. love happens even when people have a lot of difficult situations in their lives or even when they think they're not in a good place to be loving other people. first timeline yuder was also still green and less mature than second timeline yuder, a lot less equipped in many ways. second timeline yuder himself also needed to mature a lot before he could properly begin a relationship with second timeline kishiar that's grounded in trust and the expression of genuine care.

so many factors are being taken into consideration when writing turning, i think. thats why it becomes such a beautiful piece of work that can touch the hearts of many people, with characters and storylines that resonate with a lot of the fans. i find that it's turning's biggest charm. first timeline kishiar isn't a perfect victim nor a perfect 'toxic ex-boyfriend'. he tried his best and his best still had repercussions that are less than ideal for the people he loved whom he left behind. of course, there's also the fact that the story is mostly written through the main character yuder's perspective. i think i enjoy turning the most when i can see it through this type of lens, trying to keep in mind where the characters are coming from and empathize with them and taking the novel (as all fictions are) as a lesson in humanity.

[atlaszxu]

𝐘𝐨𝐨 𝐉𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐤’𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

A/N: i haven’t been on tumblr in a while and i’ve recently gotten back into ORV as my main phase, and i really love yjh!! this is just a mini dump, if anyone does see this, you may not agree with what I say and that’s fine!!! this is just my views on him!

Warning for major spoilers on ORV, not sure if needed but just to be safe lol!

Out of every character in ORV I think YJH is the one with the most mischaracterization, and is dumbed down a lot. I tend to see that a lot of content for him will revolve around Dokja and his relationship with him, and while it is a key aspect of his character, I don’t believe that’s all there is to him.

I’ve seen him get mischaracterized too- portrayed as a cold, rude, tsundere character. I think this is mainly due to KDJ being an unreliable narrator, so we see his thoughts on YJH rather than how YJH is himself. People know KDJ is an unreliable narrator, they just don’t know how to discern what is unreliable I think!

The thing is, KDJ sees YJH as the cold, strong, and intimidating person because ultimately, that’s who KDJ wants to be. Reading TWSA, YJH practically saved KDJ and therefore he looked up to YJH and sort of projected the traits he always wanted onto YJH. I also think the manhwa made it a bit worse as they portray YJH the way KDJ sees him, so little things showing YJH at his core goes unnoticed.

At his core, I believe YJH to be one of the sweetest characters in ORV. He cares deeply for all his companions and made many sacrifices for them, and longs for the world’s end to be perfect and for all his companions to be safe and happy. He genuinely tries to do the best over and over even if he makes mistakes, like any human does.

The regressions may have hardened him on the outside, but inside he remained the sweet and gentle person he always was. He cares so deeply for people like his younger sister, who he endured workplace abuse for as he needed to provide for her, or Seolhwa who he wanted so desperately to save even if he knew it was a lost cause when she got possessed.

We see his sacrifices over and over, namely in the 999th turn YJH who sacrificed all he had for his companions, allowing them to ascend to being Outer Gods. And really, who can blame him for becoming so cold when he had to watch his loved ones, like the sister he raised die over and over?

What I found really compelling about him was his regression depression, the fact that he literally battled the part of him that wanted to live. 1863th thrn YJH really stuck with me because the pure despair and desperation he felt truly showed just how much he was suffering

Look at Secretive Plotter- his line about “Why, why is it not me, but you?” While people joke about this line being 2nd ML syndrome, there’s so much to be found in it. SP feels pain over the fact that unlike our YJH, he didn’t get a Dokja. He didn’t get a KDJ who knew him and helped him save his dear companions. It’s the simple fact that YJH got lucky, and SP didn’t.

Joonghyuk has had a lot of relationships with other characters, but I want to talk about Yoo siblings and how underrated they are. Joonghyuk loves his sister so much and did the best he could in raising her, and he tried so hard to protect her in the scenarios. Can you imagine his devastation seeing her die over and over? (Mia should have gotten more in canon!!)

Another underrated relationship is him and Seolhwa. The fact that those two were MARRIED and eveb had a child goes so untalked about. The grief YJH must have felt, he had a wife he adored and a child he loved just to lose them and never able to get them back. Him trying to reach for Seolhwa when she got possessed, in hopes of reaching out to her, made me so sad when I first read it.

Moving onto Joongdok as a relationship, I think the idea that YJH mainly only cares about KDJ just undermines the relationship. He did regress from the 0th round for KDJ- but he hadn’t even known it was him that he regressed for, and there were also other factors like how many questions he had left about life, the apocalypse, constellations, etc.

YJH is cold to KDJ at the start of their relationship and that is because in his eyes, KDJ is a threat to his goal and someone who he is unfamiliar with. Would you trust a guy sayinf he knows about all of your regressions and claiming to be a prophet, especially after what happenend with Anna Croft?

The beauty of Joongdok lies in the gradual build up, how it goes from KDJ trying to get YJH to side with him while YJH distrusts him, to YJH growing to be closest with the person he was the least familiar with, yet the most intertwined with (as we see in the story with all the other regressions). The significance in YJH acknowledging KDJ as a companion will haunt this fandom and me forever!

KDJ and YJH forming such a profound bound defies the story, as YJH is in a regression hellhole and feels as if no one can save him while KDJ appears and does (which also goes back to the point about SP and his jealousy towards YJH). KDJ saving YJH from this was so beautiful.

Before I go onto my next point I’d like to point out how I don’t blame YJH at all in the divorce arc. Can you imagine when the person you trusted most, the one you considered your companion, had been keeping the fact that you were characters in a novel he read, when something you hated most was the idea of being a puppet- of being controlled?

This brings me onto my point of YJH and HSY’s relationship- how it’s VERY much not talked about as much as I think it should be. I found it so amazing how YJH thanked HSY- his creator, his puppeteer- in the end, as ultimately, it was her story that saved him. It brings a sort of cycle, of the reader saving the author, the protagonist saving the reader, and the author saving the protagonist.

Yoohan being labeled to “tolerance” and “mutual agreement” makes me sad, because you don’t have to ship them, but I would like their dynamic to be acknowledged. There’s complexities to be found- the trust they had for eachother shown with YJH leaving his sister to HSY, the devotion, and the creator and creation dynamic.

Just like Joongdok and Doksoo, Yoohan is also soul intertwined, and that’s why I adore Yoohankim so much. In my opinion they’re the best trio in fiction and the best ship in ORV… They even have such amazing lines!

“We are companions separated by life and death.” - Kim Dokja

“Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever meet you again?” - Yoo Joonghyuk

“If this story can really save you… If you regained just a little of your memories and remember us just one more time… Then I’ll keep writing the epilogue for you until the end of time, for eternity.” - Han Sooyoung

Anyways, thank you for coming to my talk about YJH as a character and why I adore him so dearly. Really, he’s my favorite character if you can’t tell.